#afraid to add anymore tags lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thatspookyagent · 1 year

Note

Hi I was hoping you can do an enemies to lovers headcanon between thor/reader and how that go.

Being enemies to lovers with Thor (GN!Reader) would include...

Warnings: Mentions of eating, drinking, and intoxication, Heimdall & Odin cameos lol

a/n: Hi! Thanks for being my very first video game headcanons request! I haven't gotten and answered a request in awhile and it feels good to do them again! Hope you don't mind the reader being gender neutral. And as always my readers are diverse friendly even with no specified details about the reader (which is how it should be)! Hope you enjoy! :))

If you want to be tagged in any of my content, don’t be afraid to tell me via my ask box or through messages! Just remember to be clear about what specific kinds of content, characters, and fandoms you want me to tag you in or if you want to be put on my general tag list! I’m always looking to add more people and I’d be more than happy to add you (if you wish)! :3

Being an enemy of Thor is a... precarious position to be in lmao

Even if it isn’t full blown “you owe me a blood payment” kind of enemy to him

I feel like the major turn point in how you both become Thor’s lover but also how your perceptions of one another change, is how you view the everyday things that he has to deal with and how it drives him to self destruction

You didn’t care that he was a God and wouldn’t have long term issues from drinking so much, you cared about the hurt it put him through and root of the problem

Because of that he began to see the many layers that make up your own life, your character, and how you deal (or don’t deal) with things

Basically you and him become positive influences for one another and confidants to each other’s issues

Expect a LOT of bickering between the two of you like even after the two of you become lovers, it’s still a main part of your relationship honestly

Though the kind of bickering changes after you and him become official

Beforehand it could be pretty backhanded and snippy, like you were just quipping back and forth cause there was some resemblance of bad blood between you and Thor

When you and Thor become official the bickering evolves into older married couple type bickering

Overall it’s pretty light hearted and in good fun

There isn’t a layer of venom behind each word anymore but instead softness and kindness

At times Thor will playfully scold you whenever you’re not careful or just plain naive lol

When you were enemies with him, his pet name for you was basically bone head

Now it’s bone head (affectionate) :”

With the changes in tone comes changes in behavior as well

Like whenever Thor needs to jump from place to place with his godly might, he’ll give you a heads up, and cradle you carefully in his arms while he makes his leaps

Before he used to just grab you and fly through the air like the menace the is

Other things that have changed is that he will continuously invite you to have drinks with him and eat amongst the Einherjar

He hangs out with them from time to time and could use someone to keep him company

Will absolutely share his food and drink with you and if you wish, he’ll go to a more private place in order to spend quality time with you as well

When y’all were enemies, if you walked in to spend some time at the hall, he wouldn’t even so much as glance at you

And if he was drunk around you, he was a total ass, not just because he was white girl wasted but because he also really didn’t like you

Now, if he’s drunk around you, he’s still a bit mean, or mainly unresponsive

Though if the two of you are both drunk together, than that’s not a good thing for anybody lmao

Imagine being drunk with Thor and going up to the Asgardian wall where Heimdall is and just absolutely verbally destroying that man

[Heimdall will remember that]

If the two of you find yourselves within or going to a realm with a cold climate, he will put his heavy fur cloak on you to keep you warm

Won’t ask for it back once y’all leave the cold realm, you can keep it, he can always get another <3

If you asked him for his fur cloak while you two were still enemies, he’d just straight up ignore you or go “no.” </3

Another perk of being lovers with Thor is that you now have unlocked being able to snuggle with him

Yes he is as warm and fuzzy as he looks, a true bear in that sense of the word

Prefers to be the big spoon but will not grumble if you asked to be the big spoon

Gives the best back rubs for some reason ??? maybe it’s because his hands are the size of mallets and though they’re calloused, they just feel good!

Also Thor gives me bathing for hours mindlessly with his partner enjoyer type of vibe so expect that as well

And yes the two of you do take turns washing and doing each other hair <3

Or just relax with you for hours in silence if that's what you'd prefer that

Will let you pet Mjolnir as much as you like and even attempt to pick it up

He’ll even pick up Mjolnir himself while you’re holding it and lift you up into the air just to mimic what it would be like to wield it

Thor is down to let you braid his hair or beard if you wish

Usually he doesn’t have the time to care about his appearance that much and doesn’t care to call attention to his looks but if braiding his hair makes you happy, it will not deny you the opportunity to do so

He does minimal braiding on his own beard and would secretly like to have something elaborate or longer

Will totally get more tattoos if you recommend some to him or would like to see Thor with some more in certain places

You’ve always admired his tattoos and now that you’re lovers with him, you get to inspect them up close, admire and trace them with your fingers

You'll become curious about what they mean and how and why he got them and he'll be more than happy to tell you those tales

It takes some encouragement to get Thor to have some fun and actually relax for once

He’s so used to being ordered around, controlled, degraded, and having no chill time, either that or nobody caring enough to give him a break or spend genuine quality time with him

That and almost everyone around him is a major prick lmao

A lot of the relaxing is just Thor being away from everyone except for you

Quiet dinners, naps, baths, drinking & eating contests, walks, etc, are all some of the best parts of your relationship with Thor

A much needed break and acts of self care that also involves you, his favorite person in the world

Speaking of everyone else, it’s pretty amusing to see folks react to you and Thor getting together tbh

Odin and Heimdall especially since even they were pretty sure that y’all two would pretty much stay forever bitter to each other

The look on Heimdall’s face when he realizes that he’ll have to deal with Thor from now on whenever he heckles you

The look on Odin’s face when he realizes that he’ll have to deal with you from now on whenever he heckles Thor

Also Thor undeniably will come to your aid whenever an issue arises even if it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things

You do the same for him despite him not really caring what others think and say but the thought is what truly counts

Cause there was a time when he was the one attacking you and part of him does feel bad for his past actions

He wants to make up for that and show you through actions that he indeed thinks and feels for you differently from now on

And even you feel the same which you confide in him about

That leads to both you and Thor making vows to instead be by one another’s sides instead of against

631 notes · View notes

cadavercrafts · 2 months

Note

coughs (you have tuberculosis now)

HELLO THERE!!! I'm terrible at sculpting, of course, but I love to sculpt, and I wanted to ask - what kind of clay do you use? I see posts tagged with sculpey, but what kind, exactly? And if I may also ask, what kind of paint, finish, etc.? (Materials overall, honestly ^^; I've worked with a few different types of clay before and they're all rather crumbly and sad when it comes to the thinner bits. Are you just very careful, or is it in the material?)

I am genuinely adoring this work from you, you're such a good sculptor!!! I'm sure you hear that very often but I've genuinely never seen anything like what you're making here.

First of all thank you so much for this sweet ask and jokes on you i already had a horrible cough for weeks last month so i'm afraid of nothing anymore!

If you love to sculpt then you are good at sculpting PERIOD because it really all comes down to repetition and practice and if you enjoy what you're doing you're gonna get better fast so don't give up! First of all i wanna link my list of book recommendations because that's what i do.

For clay, what i use and what i can really recommend to anyone is "Super Sculpey". It's not too expensive and it's incredibly forgiving because it's not air dry clay (which requires you to work fast) but polymer clay (needs to be baked in a normal oven to harden). You can sculpt something, let it stand around a few days, sculpt some more and nothing dries out. You can add more onto the sculpture after baking it later on if you want, too. You will need to build an armature for it for the thin parts and i just use wire and tinfoil, super basic stuff, no rocket science and nothing expensive or special. And sure you can get some fancy sculpting tools and rubbing alcohol and liquid sculpey and what not but really the basic stuff you need is just sculpey and wire and you're good to go. And then you can see if you like doing this stuff and slowly expand. Same for the paint, i use citadel and revell acrylics for my figures now but i used to paint them with cheapo no name brand acrylics for YEARS and it works too. Maybe it's just me because i don't have a lot of money but often it's not that great of an idea to start buying the thousand euro amazing expert kit but to actually start simple and kinda "grow into" the material if that makes sense. You see some absolute mega pro professional sculptors and they use like... a toothpick. And i'm like WHAT but they just mastered the material they work in and then the tools almost don't matter. I'm sure i forgot half of what i wanted to say so here's my FAQ for just a basic material list.

"I'm sure you hear that very often but I've genuinely never seen anything like what you're making here."

Actually, i never hear that ever and you are super super sweet, thank you so much. The things i hear are usually "People PAY you for this??" or "Ah, you're still making your little figure things?" or "Oh my kids play with clay too!" so yea making figures is GREAT lmao. But my motto is never let negative people stop you from making mediocre things!

#ask #thilsiktonix

25 notes · View notes

liauditore · 8 months

Note

Thought I might say hello and make some small talk, seeing that I'm camping on your trafficshipping tag and all.

Well hi! Lovely place you've got here. Fantastic art, GREAT vibes, very nice. I'm specially enjoying your character rambling; your takes on them are super interesting and they tickle my brain 👀

May I send Divorce Fource/Quartet and Majorwood for the shipping bingo? Divorce Fource were a right mess (affectionate <3) and a perfect one at that, but I can't help but wonder how the recipe would have turned out if the soul ties were Cleo-Pearl, Martyn-Scott.

Also there is so much potential in Limlife Majorwood for eroguro if you're nasty. Which I am. Time cannibalism, respawning mechanics, birthday time... blender go brrrr 👀

!!!!!!!

y'all are really enabling my habit of long ass posts huh 😭😭

OK SO first off thankyou so much?? thats so sweet?????? 😭😭 i really don't think my character ramblings are anything special, but i like reading other ppls insane takes so i thought i'd provide others with the same 👍

not to get too into it but i feel like a series like life smp is best enjoyed with your own crazy delulu takes (similar to touhou if anyone heres familiar w/ that fandom). and it makes me kinda sad to see ppl arguing abt whats 'canon' or 'correct' cus that's no fun lol

ANYWAY yeah uh im glad u like the vibes!! :J

TREEBARK

this one first cus chronology. I honestly don't know if there's anything I can say here that hasn't been said before? But yeah they're. tasty. something about martyn waiting the entirety of third life to betray ren and never getting the chance and now longing to have him back. lots of regret but regret. for what. yknow. and ren always looking out for martyn even from a distance. and then martyn losing that connection in limlife.

yeah i can see why people ship lmao

uhh i don't really know what else to write here so have some of my insane ramblings copy+pasted from my shipping doc 👍

Martyn fancies himself a schemer, someone who's not afraid to play the game the way it's intended. If that means earning a powerful ally's trust only to shatter it then he was going to do it. Only, Martyn's bark is worse than his bite, and every night he spends in lying awake in those soft, warm sheets that Ren had laid out just for him (freshly washed too, he might add. Smelled like sunshine) he wonders if he can do it. He can, of course. (he can't. he won't. he's too soft. soft and useless.) He'd cut his head off already. (he wants to vomit) (this is why no one needs you. wants you. loves you) Who cares about other people anyway? He is the only one who really matters. (the thought of being alone makes him want to cry) Ren, on the other hand, is a capable leader. The definition of loyal and dependable, if not a bit dramatic. He struggles with self-worth, being good enough, useful enough, powerful enough. But to others, he's the opposite, caring and protective of any who would ask for his aid. After all, every citizen deserves to live in safety and comfort, and providing that is what a good King would do. ~ Martyn's not as sneaky as he thinks he is. Ren knows. Ren sees the signs. It's a death game for a reason. But he doesn't let Martyn know. He doesn't even hold it against him. He doesn't see the bloodthirst anymore, only the broken pieces lying underneath. ~ or the King's Hand, it was the thrill of feeling Useful, Powerful, Feared (loved). He was going to miss it after he betrayed him, the high of bloodlust, the smell in the air as he charged into battle. (the way his hands held him so gently) For the King himself, deep down he knew it was never to be. He had met a monster, but he hoped his efforts calmed the storm ever so slightly. On some days, he pretends to forget about the death game entirely and imagines the speech he'd give to retire his Hand. "You don't have to fight anymore," he'd say, "I'll take care of you from now on, I promise. So put the sword down, okay?" But in the end, it was all a fantasy, wasn't it?

^ yes this is so cheesy but so are they.

Cry with me again Smile with me again Scream with me again Sing with me again Dance with me again Talk to me again…

"Lower One's Eyes" (Oktavia translyrics)

MAJORWOOD

I think.. I talk too much abt scott seeing as that's who everyone points out when it comes to my headcanons 😭😭 but uh i swear everyone else is just as messed up. and martyn is like. just as bad if not worse (if that wasn't made clear from my ramblings before)

anyway uh say it with me rebound 👏 relationship 👏

i think they're both.. very numb to it all once limlife rolls around. they're just tired and have this mutual understanding and both think they're horrible people. martyn just wants to play the game. scott doesn't even know what he wants anymore.

but ofc, they're both still human and want love and comfort, so they try to seek that from one another. even if it's fake. even if it doesn't matter in the end.

Baby, though I've closed my eyes I know who you pretend I am I know who you pretend I am

Washing Machine Heart (Mitski)

We’re the Delusioned Victim Cash-in Union Praise to the “love” that will bring salvation! Two fools singing to a shallow melody Restart, reflation, teleportation Time and again we’re stuck in rotation Circles inside a love without any ending

MKDR (SirHamnet Lyrics)

Scott uses Martyn as a replacement for Jimmy and Martyn uses Scott as a replacement for Ren. they know they dislike eachother (see: all of double life) and that only one of them will make it out alive. but they can't get that love and comfort from anyone else now.

also uhhh eroguro my beloved...... im assuming this is getting brought up cus of my mentions of loving eroguro in the past. and yes to all of that very much i agree. but i do have kind of.. a limit to what i do w/ these characters specifically because of the fandom/ccs (at least publicly). if i ever do decide to share the nastier stuff in my head or go into detail on gore and whatnot i'd probs make a sideblog and tuck it away and maybe block scott and martyn for always somehow showing up on my posts lmao

#asks #ask games #trafficshipping #treebark #majorwood #the 'team BEST/divorce quartet enjoyer' thing in my pinned is just code for #'i will go insane abt any ship involving any of these guys'#i didn't do divorce quartet as a whole soz just cus that would be WAYY TOO LONG Actually 😭😭#and also a lot of it i feel is already covered thru majorwood and zombiewood #but yeah they're so messed up therapy aint helping that situation y'all need lawyers

21 notes · View notes

mybiasisexo · 2 years

Text

Entangled - Part 4

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader

Chapter Warning: Language

Word Count: 5.5k

Author's Note: There's a lot that happens here lmao. Like I feel this is like 3 chapters jammed into one. I hope we can get a bit of insight on Channies thought process here, and maybe even OCs?? Also I LOVE this friend group and will add so many irrelevant scenes just to see them interact 🥺.

Also.... pls lmk if you would like to be tagged! There are a couple people who I want to but... dont wanna bother anyone haha. So, if you'd like that, just lmk 🙃

Also also.... have y'all listened to beyonces new album?!??!???????!? Was DEF listening to it HEAVY while editing this (Virgos groove was hitting a bit too hard christ she's done it again 😔 we stan forever)

Okay, I'm rambling (shocker) as always, don't be afraid to lmk how you feel about the story so far!!! I appreciate all interaction!!! Have fuuuun~

“Ah.” The calm that overtakes you as you lay back on the blanket separating you from the powdery sand is welcomed after the morning you’ve had. Just as you predicted, the sun is helping your hangover just as much as the food digesting in your belly.

It would’ve tasted a lot better without the bitter knowledge of Chanyeol’s apology, but the heat kissing your skin is enough of a distraction from that fact. “This is the life.”

“If I could, I would live a life strictly on the shore,” Seulgi agrees. She already sounds drowsy as she sprawls out like a starfish beside you.

Yerim is somewhere splashing along in the water, finally enjoying the crisp waves instead of taking pictures for her Instagram. Poor Seulgi spent the first ten minutes out as her photographer and is now finally having time for herself.

You aren’t sure how much time passes when Yerim joins you both. Cold drops of sea water drip onto your stomach alluding to her presence. You wince, eyes springing open to give the young girl a glare.

“Oops.” She shrugs innocently, her smile dazzling. You huff before rolling onto your stomach, evening out your tan. Yerim checks her phone and sucks her teeth, tossing it angrily aside before plopping onto her stomach across from you, so that your heads now huddle together.

“Still no word from Loey?” Seulgi asks. Her eyes are still closed, and she hasn’t moved an inch. Honestly, you thought she had fallen asleep.

You hate how your ears perk at the mention of your ex.

Yerim’s mouth tightens. “Nothing. We were supposed to get breakfast this morning. He had promised me that while kicking me out, to try to make up for what he was doing. But he hasn’t replied to any of my texts or calls!”

Her words trigger something in the back of your mind. Little fragments from the night before come to you in flashes, images of a pissed Yerim in front of your hotel room.

“He kicked you out?” You ask.

The sisters share a look before turning their attention back to you.

“What?” You snap. “I told you I blacked out.”

Yerim sighs dramatically and falls onto her back, blocking the sun with an arm draped over her eyes. “Yes, well, he did. Suddenly sharing a bed made him uncomfortable.”

“You two haven’t… you haven’t had sex yet?” You push out, swallowing the bile the question has rising up your throat.

She pauses and then bursts into laughter, saying your name conspiringly. “I had no idea you would be interested in my sex life.”

Oh, it isn’t hers you’re curious about.

You shrug non-committedly, glancing away.

“No, we haven’t,” she reveals. “This trip was the first time we’ve hung out outside my job, actually. Our first date. It was kind of funny. We both thought of coming here together at the same time. It sounded like the perfect idea then. Now? I’m starting to see how much it wasn’t.”

Relief floods you, relaxing your tense muscles. You wonder briefly how you would have reacted if they had slept together. Most likely seen red.

You halt those thoughts instantly. This is not your place anymore, not your right. You have zero claim on Chanyeol and whatever you are feeling right now is unwarranted.

Pushing away all that, you focus back on the conversation. “Because he kicked you out?”

She hums as she ponders your question. “That. And he’s in the wedding. He’s a groomsman, and that’s his main focus on the trip, not necessarily me. But also….”

She sighs and shifts around, getting comfortable. “He warned me, but I didn’t think he was being serious. At least, I didn’t think it was actually going to matter.”

“What did he warn you about?” Seulgi asks, voice quiet.

Yerim is silent for a breath before huffing, laughing mirthlessly. “He was engaged once.”

Your heart drops.

“He told me that he was engaged a few years ago, and that he was a bit worried that being in a wedding might… hurt.”

Just like you.

You honestly didn’t know what to think of Chanyeol going through the same thing as you, although this new perspective made your conversation from this morning make a bit more sense, made you understand his actions and words.

He was putting up a front, just like you.

“I told him to not worry about it too much,” Yerim continues, unaware of the epiphany you’re having. “Because I am here now. I’ll stay by his side. I’m not going anywhere. He laughed when I said that, and said he thought it was cute. To me, that sounded like that was enough for him. But, something changed after dinner yesterday. He was different, and well, I guess he was right about being worried after all.”

“Engaged, huh?” Is all you can say.

Yerim pouts. “It’s not like he was married and got a divorce. It’s only an engagement. Like…get over it?”

Her words sting. It feels like she’s speaking to you directly.

“Yerim….” Seulgi chastises gently, probably aware of how her statement might affect you. You can’t bring yourself to feel hurt, she’s right afterall. Plus, you can hear the hurt in her voice, the disappointment.

Reaching out, you touch her hand reassuringly. “Would you like me to beat him up for you?”

That brings out a bright laugh and you grin at the sound. “Apparently, you gave him a piece of your mind last night.”

You blink. “I did?”

“You weren’t very happy with him once you found out what he did to me, so you went to his room and confronted him.”

Chanyeol’s words from earlier echo in your brain. ‘We already had this conversation last night’.

“How did that go?” You question, hoping they can’t hear the rising panic in your voice.

‘Because you missed me’.

“Not sure,” she answers.

“We heard you banging on his door for a minute,” Seulgi informs.

You came knocking on my door like the police’.

You gulp.

“It got really quiet afterwards for like ten minutes or so. Then you started banging on our door because, of course, you didn’t have the key. You were pretty incoherent, mumbling something about him being an asshole, I think. Then you stumbled right to bed. Out like a light.”

You take in this newfound information warily. “So, you aren’t sure if I actually talked to him or not?”

“No. It could’ve been Sehun’s door. Hell, it could’ve been a damn wall you were hitting, you were that fucked up,” Seulgi says, chuckling at the memory.

So, there is still a chance Chanyeol was lying. Your certainty crumbles even further when a fresh memory from last night unlocks. It isn’t an image, but a feeling. Hands–fingers–ghosting up your stomach, your cheek.

You blink. Will you remember this? A whisper.

“Either way I appreciate it.” Yerim leans her head back to smile at you upside down, pulling you out of your reverie. “I love you, Sis.”

You smile in return, hoping it reaches your eyes as you pat her round cheek. She giggles, the sound should ease your heart. Instead, it brings another wave of guilt over you, making you shiver despite the heat of the sun overhead.

She readjusts, no longer staring up at you, and starts going on about something else, missing the way Seulgi and you lock eyes, worry and apprehension shared between you both.

Oh, how the knot tangles.

You spend a few more hours at the beach. Play in the water, take a nice afternoon nap, and just lounge around until you get a text from Sehun letting you know that the rehearsal is almost over and that they will all be eating lunch in his suite.

With that, you head back to your own room to get ready.

While in the elevator, Yerim’s phone pings. She checks the text and immediately lights up and starts squealing in excitement.

“What is it?” Seulgi asks, reveling in her sister’s delight.

“Loey just texted me!”

“What did he say?” You ask, playing as nonchalant as possible.

“He said that he’s sorry for not getting back to me this morning and missing breakfast. He said he overslept and woke up right before he had to go to rehearsal. He was wondering if he could make it up to me with lunch!”

“That’s… cute.” Seulgi’s smile becomes forced, and she turns to you with widening eyes that say, ‘what the hell’. You purse your lips as an unwelcoming bout of jealousy makes you consider telling the sisters that Chanyeol was indeed awake early enough to get breakfast this morning.

Not your place.

“I’m going to invite him to Sehun’s…. If that’s okay?” Yerim checks for confirmation. You both agree reluctantly.

She bounces on the balls of her feet excitedly as she types away. The doors open and you leap out, feeling trapped in the confines of the small metal box.

“Aw man. He wants it to be just us two. I hope you don’t mind me skipping out on lunch with everyone.”

“It’s no problem,” you reassure her, meaning it completely.

“Yeah, I’m sure you both have a lot to catch up on,” Seulgi adds.

That is that. You all take turns showering and start getting ready for lunch. You’re rushing a bit, wanting to see your friends and ask about the rehearsal, plus you’re starving. Chanyeol hadn’t given you much in his apology plate.

And, you hate to admit it, but you need a break from Yerim.

When Yerim is in the shower, Seulgi enters your room, sits on the corner of the bed, and watches you put your makeup on.

When your name finally leaves her mouth, you know you’re in trouble. It holds an authority you rarely hear her use. Slowly, you put down your mascara and turn in your chair, giving her your undivided attention.

“I love you,” she starts, voice deceivingly calm. “But Yerim is my sister. I can’t keep protecting you and Chanyeol. It’s not fair to her.”

“I know,” you say.

“We have to tell her,” she proceeds.

“I agree.”

Seulgi inhales deeply. “She’s going to be furious, but she has a right to know about you two. Especially since it seems you’re the reason why he kicked her out of their room.”

Her statement shocks you. “What?”

She throws you an incredulous look. “Are you telling me you didn’t see the way he was watching you throughout dinner? Not to mention how he would, like, study you whenever he touched Yerim? Like he was trying to get a reaction? Trying to make you jealous? I don’t know. Neither one of you have ever really told anyone why you broke up. It’s been a mystery for all of us, you know. We’ve been trying to solve it for years. I was hoping that seeing you both together would solve everything. But, to be honest, it’s only making things more confusing because….”

Her hands rub together, as though she’s putting on lotion. Her eyebrows furrow and her eyes are far away as she thinks about what she has seen. When she refocuses on you, you gulp, hating the distrust in her gaze. “I think Chanyeol is still in love with you.”

“Seulgi.” You don’t–no, can’t hear this right now, not when everything has become so much more complicated.

Her eyes pool with sorrow, for who you weren’t sure. “If Yerim is going to get her heart broken during this trip, I would rather it be from Yeol alone. I don’t want to hurt her, and I know you don’t want to either.”

You didn’t. Yerim is like a little sister to you. Damn Chanyeol for putting you in such a predicament.

“So, when do we tell her?” You ask, filled with a new resolve. You wanted to be done with all this unnecessary drama. “Right now? After lunch? Tomorrow before the wedding? When is the right time?”

“I think now is better than later. I can’t keep lying to her face.”

“I don’t want to lie anymore either. This is Chanyeol’s mess. Let’s tell her, and have him deal with explaining everything while they’re out.”

A couple knocks at your door cuts your conversation short. You both share a glance, not expecting guests.

“Maybe it’s Sehun?” You guess before getting to your feet to answer. “Lord knows he’s always so damn impatient.”

You trudge over and tear the door open.

“Dude, I swear we’re on our way….”

The height is expected. Chanyeol’s face? Not so much.

Speak of the devil….

He is wearing a cocky grin on his face, that swiftly falls the moment you grace his presence.

“Oh,” slips out of your mouth, expressing all the disappointment you feel at seeing him instead of your best friend. Although your heart begins racing, you find it a bit easier to be confronted with him this time around. Actually, the conversation you just had comes back to you, and you realize that you’re annoyed with him. “What are you doing here?”

He jerks back from your tone, probably shocked by how bored you sound. “I was just, um, I’m here to, uh, pick up–”

“Yerim,” You finish for him, nodding in confirmation. Right. Of course. His girlfriend.

With her name hovering between you, the atmosphere thickens awkwardly. You’re still mad at him, but it’s overwhelmed by a different disappointment than you felt prior. It takes a second, and then it clicks as to why you feel this. Wow, you really are stupid, huh? A foolish part of you had hoped that he was here to see you. But at the reminder that he has someone else, you are embarrassed to think something so delusional. You don’t know where to look–eyes jumping around randomly, only passing his face every few seconds. Your hands dangle uselessly at your sides, and all you can think is ‘abort, abort, ABORT’.

“I–right. Let me go get her.” Your voice betrays your disappointment.

You turn stiffly to do just that, but get pulled to a stop before you can even take a step into the room. Chanyeol’s strong hand curls posessively around the pit of your elbow, thumb resting on the sharp bone. You gasp and hold your breath, still as a statue as you anticipate his next move. Once he senses your attention, he lets his hand slither down the soft skin of your arm to wrap around your wrist.

“Wait.” Your name leaves his mouth in a gravelly whisper, causing your stomach to roll nauseatingly. Hesitantly, you turn your body back around to face him, and once your eyes lock, they hold on steadfast, as if that is where they are always meant to be.

“I….” His sentence gets caught in his throat as he continues staring at you. It’s as though your face is distracting him, rendering him the ability to even speak. There’s a question in his glittery orbs, but you can’t decipher what it is he’s asking.

“What is it?” You ask gently.

That seems to draw him out of his trance. He shakes his head in an attempt to clear it.

“Did you get my gift?” The way he asks makes your conversation feel more intimate, a private thing between only you.

You know instantly what he’s referencing: the food from earlier. Confirming your suspicions that it was indeed him, although you never had a doubt.

“I did,” you admit, albeit reluctantly.

His eyes narrow suspiciously. “Did you eat any of it?”

Even more reluctantly, “I did.”

“Good. That’s good.” And he does appear very relieved, knowing you accepted his ‘gift’. “I was worried.”

“Worried about what?” You push.

His eyes cut to you and you almost recoil from the intensity burning within them. “That you wouldn’t eat it, even though you were starving, because you knew it was from me.”

Ah, he still knows you well.

“I’m not that petty,” you mutter.

“Yes you are.” He grins before a thought occurs to him, causing the smile to fall just as quickly as it formed. “At least, you were.”

That kills the peace you two had created.

“Anyways,” he starts, scratching the back of his neck. “I wanted to apologize for the way I acted earlier. It was wrong for me to say all of that. I just, I don’t know, wanted to try to be normal, for Junmyeon’s sake, but….”

He shrugs helplessly, and you feel that–the helplessness. Despite digging this hole, Chanyeol is just as stuck as you are.

“What about this morning was ‘normal’?” You ask, feeling the anguish from earlier take over your body. “You were trying to upset me. Is that what all of this is? One big ploy to make me feel like shit?”

“That’s not….” He lets out a heavy sigh and runs a hand over his face. “I’m really bad at this. I don’t want to fight, I want us to start over. To be friends.”

You give him an incredulous look that he meets earnestly. Looking at him, at that angelic face that was once your whole world, you realize that what he is asking is impossible. There’s too much history here, too many unresolved issues for you both to move forward on friendly terms.

“I don’t know, Chanyeol,” you say quietly. “I think we’re far from becoming friends, and I don’t really want to be. We only have a few more days here, so let’s just keep pretending we don’t know each other. Hell, we don’t even have to pretend. I don’t know you anymore.”

“And who’s fault is that?” He asks, voice rising in a sudden anger that makes you flinch. “I wasn’t the one who called off the wedding, remember? That was you. You were the one who decided I wasn’t worth forever anymore, not the other way around!”

“Is that what you think?” You hiss, just as upset. “That’s never what I meant! And why would you even care anymore? You’ve moved on, haven’t you? Do I have to keep reminding you that you have a girlfriend?” Who isn’t me, you want to add.

“Why do you keep calling her that?” He asks, exasperated. You’re sure that if he wasn’t still holding onto your wrist like a leash, he’d be pacing the hall. “She’s just my date! We aren’t serious!”

“Does she know that?” You question. “I have a feeling that if I asked, she’d say differently.”

His eyes bounce back and forth between yours, searching for the right answer. He deflates, knowing what it is. “I already told you, I don’t want to fight. I didn’t come here for that.”

“No, because you came here for her.”

You both hear it, the pain that rips from your chest. It causes you both to pause. You’re mortified, and it skyrockets when he seems to soften. He stares down at you fondly, and his stance straightens.

“I came here to make things right,” he reveals, voice just as tender as his expression.

“And how are you going to do that?”

“I’m going to take her to lunch as promised.”

You slowly nod at that. “As you should. It’s for the best.”

“Is it?” He questions.

Seulgi’s words echo in your head, “I think Chanyeol is still in love with you.”

And with the way he is admiring you, you can see it. Your heart quickens at the idea of him still wanting you. You want to relish in it, in his affection, his touch. Your attraction for him never completely ceased, no matter how many times you have told yourself otherwise. If you are around him for much longer, you are going to give into the temptation that is his mouth, his big hands, his unbreaking steady gaze.

You want to believe what he just insinuated. He came here to make things right, he said. Not just with Yerim, but maybe with you too. You want to believe that the girl getting ready, oblivious to what’s happening only a few feet away, isn’t the only reason why he is standing before you right now, that you still have a claim on him.

“It has to be.” You tell the both of you, drawing the line in the sand for both not to cross.

And yet he still pushes. “And why is that?”

Because I’m terrified of what will happen if we keep meeting like this.

“Because she’s your date.”

He nods in agreement just as you had before.

“You want to know the real reason why I brought her,” he asks suddenly.

You should say no. You should walk away and forget the man before you. To keep pretending he means nothing to you. But, the most selfish part of you wins. You need to know. So you nod, allowing him to destroy all pretenses between you both.

“As an excuse,” he whispers, gauging your reaction. “To stay away from you.”

You think you should probably feel angry by his confession, but you don’t. Maybe you’re reading a bit more into it, but you find it has you swooning.

He takes a step forward, causing your head to fall back to keep looking at him. His hand finally falls from your wrist, lifting to cup your jaw, making sure you can’t see anything but him.

Still in a whisper, he continues. “But since last night, the excuse has changed.”

His thumb caresses your cheek. “Now I’m using her as a way to see you. To talk to you. Because that’s the only way you will.”

“That’s not fair.”

He smiles ruefully. “It really isn’t, is it?”

You can’t help but scoff. “You’re such an–”

“Asshole?” He finishes with a smug grin. “I know.”

A silence falls over you, and you’re observing him so closely, admiring him in a way that feels so familiar it’s nearly effortless, that you catch the shift. His eyes darken with intent as they latch onto your slightly open mouth with laser focus.

You stiffen in his grip, holding your breath as you wait for him to close the distance. So much for that line in the sand.

His head tilts slightly, hair tickles your forehead, nose brushes against yours.

You can’t.

“I’ll tell Yerim you stopped by,” you let out in a shaky breath, lips nearly brushing against his.

His eyes have fallen shut, and he keeps them closed as he briefly rests his forehead against yours, catching his barings.

“Right.” Reluctantly, he pulls away, taking steps back so that he’s in the middle of the hallway, and you get a bout of deja vu. You were in a similar situation before, were you not? Only now the roles have reversed.

“Tell her to come to my room when she’s ready.” His tone is professional, no ounce of emotion can be heard, as if he weren’t seconds away from kissing you.

It makes you cold.

With that, he swiftly turns and heads the two doors down to his own suite.

You stand there for a moment, collecting yourself. You can’t seem to shake off the frigidness that chills you with the lack of his warmth. Your hands go to your jaw, fingers touching the parts Chanyeol had cradled, fighting the overwhelming need to scream.

You need to tell Yerim her date is ready for her. Right. You slip back into your suite to do just that.

Only to be stopped by Seulgi standing a few feet away, expression hard to read.

A staring match commences. It feels like she’s your parent having caught you red handed trying to creep back into the house after sneaking out.

Yerim comes out of their room, ready to go.

“I thought I heard knocking. Was someone here?” She asks, unaware of the silent battle going on in front of her.

“Chanyeol,” you answer, attention never leaving her sister.

“Who?”

You grit your teeth, growing more agitated with her. How can she not know the name of the man she claims to be falling for?

“Loey stopped by,” Seulgi speaks, voice steel, eyes unwavering. “But you were still getting ready. He asked us to tell you to head over to his room when you were finished. Right?”

The question is aimed at you. She lifts her eyebrow, challenging you to correct her.

“...Right.” You lose the staring contest as you agree, guilt casting your eyes down.

“Oh shit! I need to hurry then!” Yerim runs off.

Your wrist and jaw still burn from the ghost of Chanyeol’s touch.

“The food got here before you did,” are Sehun’s first words when you trudge into his room fifteen minutes later. Seulgi hasn’t spoken a word to you since Yerim left your suite, and you can’t blame her. Although, you wish she’d actually communicate her feelings towards you right now.

You can’t stand her being angry with you.

This is not your first disagreement. You’ve argued numerous times. That doesn’t make it any easier though, especially since you can’t really defend yourself.

“Sorry,” you say distractedly as you search the room for someone in particular. There he is! You march right over to Jongin and throw your arms around his slender torso, burying your head into the crook of his neck.

He freezes only for a second, surprised, and then he’s returning the hug, swaying you back and forth comfortingly.

“God, you give the best hugs,” you mumble against his warm skin.

He chuckles into your hair. “You seem like you really need one.”

“You have no idea.” Satisfied, you pull back, stewing in your bad mood. He clips your chin fondly and then leads you over to the counter that’s pouring over with food.

You all huddle in the living room, sitting in a circle on the floor. All the groom’s men are present except Chanyeol.

“Oh! I have important news!” Jongdae begins excitedly, gaining everyone’s attention. “Eunhee is pregnant.”

“WHAT?!” You all yell. Eunhee is Jongdae’s longtime girlfriend.

He’s glowing from joy. “I know. I should have told you all yesterday, but there was already a lot going on and Junmyeon was the main event. I didn’t want to take away from him. But, yeah, I’m going to be a father!”

“Is that why she’s not here?” Sehun asks.

Jongdae nods. “She’s not that far along, but we didn’t want to take any risks.”

“Oh, gosh,” Seulgi coos. “I’m so happy for you.”

“I’m going to be an uncle!” Jongin cheers.

“You already are an uncle!” Jongdae points out, reminding Jongin of the fact he has sisters with children.

“Okay, but this is different!”

“So, we have one friend getting married, and now another having a kid.” Baekhyun says, shaking his head in disbelief. “Boy, are we getting old.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you mutter bitterly. Your comment causes the others to chuckle.

“It was bound to happen eventually,” Sehun says, reaching over to pat your back. “But hey, we’re not doing too bad on this life thing. I’m proud of all of us.”

“Do you have any secret lovers or children we should know about?” You ask the proud best man with narrowed eyes.

Sehun rolls his eyes. “As much as I love Busan, I haven’t found anyone that I feel particularly connected to yet. The restaurant keeps me busy. As for children, I have Vivi, and I enjoy spoiling that boy too much. I don’t think I’m ready to have another one.”

“Vivi?” Seulgi asks skeptically. He merely shrugs.

Vivi is his dog.

“I know it’s a rather touchy subject,” Jongdae begins. “But you haven’t been with anyone since Chanyeol, have you?”

Just hearing his name causes your palms to sweat. You have to actively avoid glancing at Seulgi to gauge her reaction.

“I mean,” you start carefully. “I have needs. But, no. I haven’t been with anyone seriously since. To be honest, I think it’s been a year since I last humored anyone.”

“It’s the same for him too, you know?” Baekhyun reveals.

“Where’s the bathroom?” Seulgi abruptly asks Sehun, who shows her. She excuses herself and it’s silent as you all watch her disappear. Once she’s gone, all eyes are on you.

“Chanyeol told me about bringing a date,” Baekhyun admits in a hurry, sensing that you’re on borrowed time. “He told me it was because he couldn’t face you alone. I told him that was the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard. But you know Yeol, once he’s made up his mind about something, there’s no talking him out of it.”

“I know,” you answer quietly. He couldn’t face you alone? Well, it does line up to what he revealed earlier, that he brought Yerim as a way to avoid you. God, what an idiot.

“He’s an asshole,” Jongin speaks up. You lift an eyebrow at that, Jongin isn’t one to be so… vulgar. “And just so you know, we’re all on your side.”

“Hell yeah, we are.” Jongdae agrees, holding up a fist. “Fighting.”

“He shouldn’t have pretended to not know us,” Baekhyun frowns. He must still be hurting over his best friend’s rejection.

“It wasn’t smart.” Sehun turns to you. “Did you talk to Yerim?”

“I was going to,” you start and he groans. “Sehun, really! I was! But then Chanyeol showed up and whisked her away. That’s why she’s not here right now.”

“He really has a lot of balls, bringing another girl knowing you were going to be here,” Jongdae seethes.

“Guys,” you’re quick to defend. “It’s been years. He’s allowed to bring whoever he wants. Allowed to date whoever he wants. We’re no longer together.”

They all scoff.

“I know it’s not my place,” Baekhyun, king instigator, begins. “But you and Yeol were perfect together. You complete each other, and neither one of you have been the same since the breakup. I genuinely hope that the two of you can work it out.”

“As soon as he gets rid of that high schooler,” Jongin adds.

“She’s in college,” you correct weakly.

Conversation finally turns to something else, and it’s perfect timing because Seulgi rejoins right after.

You spend the next hour chatting and goofing off. It feels so good to be back with your closest friends. You can’t help but get nostalgic, comparing the people you all are today to the carefree group of kids you were when you all first got together.

Unfortunately, time flies by while having fun, and the boys have a bachelor’s party to throw.

“I wish I were a boy. That way I could tag along,” you say forlornly.

“Junmyeon wants you both there!” Jongin says, swinging your hands in his. “Just come.”

“We can’t,” Seulgi declines. “It wouldn’t look good. Watch over our boy though. Show him a good time.”

“I told him we should’ve gone to the states,” Baekhyun sighs dramatically. “We could’ve gone to Las Vegas, gone to a strip club!”

At the mention of a strip club, both Baekhyun and Jongin start doing body rolls. Jongdae pretends to make money rain on them.

“Don’t get him fucked up!” You threaten, pointing at the kinky troublemakers. “Tomorrow is going to be the most important day of his life, and he cannot be hungover through it!”

“Ma’am, yes, Ma’am,” Jongdae and Baekhyun salute before giggling to each other.

Yeah, that didn’t look good.

“I’m not drinking,” Sehun reassures, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “As best man, I have to make sure everyone makes it back to the hotel in one piece.”

“You sure it’s not because Junmyeon punished you for this morning?” You tease.

He shoves you away. “Just for that, you’re not coming.”

You stick your tongue out at him. “I wasn’t going anyway, Nerd.”

You all head out of Sehun’s suite. Seulgi and you wave them farewell as they make their way to the elevators.

Seulgi sighs once it’s just the two of you. “I’m jealous.”

“Same. They’re our friends too.”

You both share a watery pout and then Seulgi is pulling out her key to enter the room.

“Wait.” You rest your hand over hers. She lifts her eyebrows expectantly at you. “I’m sorry.”

She takes a deep breath and rubs her temples. “This is so fucked. I hate lying to Yerim like this.”

“I know,” you say. “You’re now caught in the middle of something that has nothing to do with you. I’m going to fix this. Yerim should be back now. I’ll tell her everything. I promise.”

She gives you a weak smile before pulling you in for a hug. “Thank you.”

“You’re my best friend,” you answer simply. “My sister. Both of you are. It’ll be easier on everyone once Yerim knows.”

“I love you too,” she replies. That brings a goofy grin out of you, knowing that you’re forgiven.

Visibly in a better mood, she enters the hotel room in a flourish.

Only for you both to stop dead in your tracks when you see Yerim sobbing in the living room.

“Yerim!” Seulgi rushes over to her sister. You join a bit later, apprehension slowing your limbs as you hover over the bawling girl. “What is it? What happened?”

“Loey!” She wails. You share a nervous look with Seulgi. “Loey broke up with me!”

series m.list | main m.list

previous chapter | next chapter

49 notes · View notes

cinammonelles · 7 months

Text

Tysm for the tag @fivekrystalpetals!!! Sorry it took me forever to answer <\3

First ship ever in you life: Ah this is hard... Most likely a power rangers couple from one of the old seasons? Its been years so I'm afraid I don't remember their names anymore :")

The ultimate three ships: I thought long and hard abt this but I genuinely couldn't think of any 3 in particular. I'm not a very avid shipper and even for ships I do like I just kinda glance at them and go "I like this one" and move on lmao

The first crush (Fictional Character/Fandom): Shiro from K project most likely?(yeah it was the white hair and trauma sorry)

Last Song: parallel hearts <3

Last Movie: The new bunny girl movie?(forgot what it was called lol) My friend and I went to watch it on a whim and I was a little lost initially because I hadn't watched the anime, but my friend didn't mind explaining stuff to me and it was a fun watch overall!! I loved it when the ending song came on and everyone started singing together <3

Favorite Flower: Why must you make me choose😔😔😔 I don't think I have a favourite but baby's breath are really pretty!

Currently Reading (you can add a link): not a lot tbh!! I read Hiratabi a while back as a part of my kamatani binge spree and I'm around halfway through Shounen Note now. Other than that I'm just reading a couple of fics my friend recommended, A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf and beloved Tai Sui ofc <3

Currently Watching: nothing as of now. I've been pretty busy lately and haven't had the time or energy to invest in anything new. I would love to watch Fune wo amu when I get time tho :>

Last thing I wrote- ship/Fandom?: a zhou ying character study that might very well morph into a fic

Currently writing (you can add a link): a little analysis of the portrayal of patriarchy in tai sui, the previously mentioned zy character study, the ph siblings fic I've been working on ever since forever and a vnc fic I'm hoping to complete soon!

Tagging @lepetitloir @kumikko @grassbreads @edowardoelric @bombyixmori @stellarhoxy @despairrow @julysecnd @ruthserbel and anyone else who wants to join!!

#tag game #man this reminded me of how insane i used to be abt power rangers #it was such a major chunk of my childhood #my cousin still teases me abt my then pr crush #sighhh i miss fangirling over pr with my cousin sisters during summer holidays :(((#anyways sentimental talk aside if you're seeing this then this is your cue to go check out tai sui and all of kamatani's works ;)#🍀

5 notes · View notes

arlovinnia · 1 year

Note

*sits down to listen to the ramble*

Anon, I am kissing you on the mouth rn, ilysm /p

ALSO TAGGING @l0st-s1lv3r BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT HIM!!!

(This is gonna be really long, so I'll add a cut)

Okay, I'm trying to figure out a good place to start about Gold. Not sure if I ever shared his, like, progress publicly, so I might as well start there hehehe >:3c

The lil guy's come so far since he first formed as a part here. Scared of everything, had a snippy attitude towards others, low self confidence, all that stuff. And I'm talking all the way in November, he was like this, like, 5 months ago, just about

Nowadays, he's super outgoing, still nervous around others, but not to a debilitating point like before, really kind and silly, and an authentic guy!! He's not afraid to be silly anymore and he's willing to at least try to interact with other people and make new friends. He also used to be super terrified of being out in front by himself, but now? Well, holy shit, he can go days on end by himself with no help from other parts here!

He also has really great intuition too, and that's worked wonders for us here and helped us in quite a few social situations. He gives out really good suggestions for things to do and he wants the best for us collectively.

Gold's willing to give everyone in this hell system at least a chance or two and somehow typically manages to get on most part's good sides. Prime example here is Zyro, only like, 3 people actually like Zyro, one of which being Gold, who's now helping Zyro be less of a fucking prick and open up a bit more. While I personally dislike Zyro, I feel like this is a really good thing for pretty much all parties. But, enough about her lmao

Gold just, tries his best to make everyone happy and is extremely empathetic while also keeping his own emotions in check. He puts himself first while also caring for others, and recognizes when he needs a break from something.

Overall, Gold's like, the best sys bro I could have and objectively the best part of this system too. We love and appreciate Gold in this household

Love you, lil bro :3

#ask #blast talk tag #levi talk tag #system stuff lmao

5 notes · View notes

daddylinguini · 2 years

Text

Rules: Tag 10 people you wanna get to know better!

@bobluvbot tagged me! Thank you for the tag, maybe it's silly but it made me really happy to see it in my notifs this morning!

Favourite time of the year: honestly any time that isnt summer, I don't cope well with the heat at all. Colder months are ideal cause I can just add more clothes but in summer it feels like I need to peel my skin off to stay cool, I live in the UK and our heat is so suffocating I hate it.

Comfort food: it changes a lot but right now it's pasta with butter and cheese, it slaps major ass

Do you collect anything?: Yes! I collect sea glass. When I was around 13 my parents bought a caravan on a site that has a private beach (I know it sounds fancy, it's just a private access) I spent hours on the beach collecting sea glass and I still do it occasionally when I go over there. I have lots of jars filled with it, sometimes I give some to my mum and she makes really cool jewellery with it!

Favourite drink: I have a few, decaf iced mocha with whipped cream (very important aspect of the drink) from Starbucks, blue raspberry tango ice blasts from the cinema, and peach iced tea from coffee boy. All of these are the way to my heart instantly.

Favourite song/artist: oh boy, buckle tf up bitches and bros and non binary hoes (yes, its from where you think it's from) I have an extensive list of bands songs and artists that have been important to me in my life. Music is a very huge part of my life, I can say with 100% certainty that my Spotify subscription is the best money I will ever spend. I can't narrow it down to just one so here are my all time favourite bands; Green Day, one of, if not the most influential bands for my music taste. Blink 182, again very influential I love them so much. Nirvana, and I hate to admit it because I cannot stand to listen to their songs much anymore (thank my ex for tainting them) but they still hold a special place in my heart regardless.

Shameless Spotify playlist plug so you can check it out for yourself if it appeals to you!

Current favourite songs: Beauty Fiend by My Ruin, The Ballad of Chasey Lain by Bloodhound Gang, She's Got The Look by Guttermouth, Slow Ride by Foghat (thank Dazed and Confused for that, and Top Gun for bringing back my obsession with this song)

Favourite fics: again, there's so many that I don't think I could list specific ones if I tried. I have 69 Ao3 tabs open currently (yes I counted and yes that's the real number, it made me laugh for a solid ten minutes) the number of fandoms and pairings is astronomical.

I don't think I can really think of ten people to tag so I'm just going to tag a few, no pressure at all, this is very scary for me because ✨anxiety✨

@wasp-coffee @aaronsmith94 @d4r32bstup1d @abliafina-18782 @mysty-swirl

Also, don't be afraid to drop a message at all, my DM's are open for business whenever (provided I'm not asleep lmao)

#definitely spent a long time on that music section #im sorry for the wall text #but not really #Spotify

7 notes · View notes

soft-spooks · 6 months

Note

who is your fav f/o? i want to give you a doodle!!!!

OHHHH HI HI HELLO. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DRAW ME ANYTHING I PROMISE <3 although i will in fact be using this ask to gush so prepare yourself.

SO. THIS IS KIND OF A LOADED QUESTION FOR ME i have had a less than stellar experience with both fandom and self shipping so im still very very very shy and afraid 2 talk about my f/os too much so please be niceys thank u <3 putting this under a cut just in case it gets really long LMAO

so. i have multiple f/os that i consider my mains, but my longest term one is actually antisepticeye !!!! i cannot help it i was so deep in youtuber fandom in 2016 and my brain latched onto him like a baby duckling and now he lives here forever . however i do not associate myself with that fandom at all anymore so he has basically become like an oc to me LMAO. i had a reallt specific fanon version of him that i used to draw all the time and a backstory that i had basically written out entirely and then when my bad fandom stuff happened i decided "nvm you guys cant have him anymore hes mine now" i have been shipping with him sinceeee i believe late 2016/early 2017 ?? yea!!! hes my fucked up little guy forever i love him so much. hardcore comfort character do not mind the fact that he is covered in blood ans has probably murdered people. hes silly <3 my tag for him on this blog is the knife emoji (🔪) and i dont really have an s/i i just ship him with. Myself.

HOWEVER I AM SELF AWARE and i understand that youtuber characters are on a lot of peoples dnis and theyre not everyone's cup of tea exactly. so i will give you options here :] my OTHER mains are !!!! sun and moon from fnaf (☀️ and 🌙 respectively) who i started shipping with early last year !

AND SPEAKING OF SELF AWARE some of my other beloveds are gordon and benrey from hlvrai (☢️ and 🎮) WHO I HAVE CREATED A SELF INSERT FOR AND THEY ARE ONE OF MY FAVORITE OCS EVER. oh my god. their name is mickey and i have managed to fit them so very seamlessly into hlvrai's story im so proud of how well they fit into canon and ive given them the chef kiss perfect amount of angst and silliness !!! a lot of my lore for them was on my old blog which got deleted in late 2021 and i havent been on a huge hlvrai kick since then so they dont have a whole lot of content on the current iteration of mac softspooks dot com but their tag is "🧟 mickey" i believe. (ill add all the character tags to this ask in case u wanna look at them :])

OH YEAH ALSO. BECAUSE IVE BEEN SHIPPING WITH ANTI FOR SO LONG i have naturally made. so many aus for him. i have like 20 different aus for my ship w him (as i said. basically an oc. mine now) my favorite of which is called hunting haunting which is a buzzfeed unsolved inspired au where we hunt ghosts together but with a dramatic twist ofc because im weak for human/monster love stories. so u will see me talk about hunting haunting a lot here thats what it is hehe

#IM NOT GOOD AT GUSHING IM SORRY. I AM SO SCARED ALL THE TIME <3 #long story short i used to get. good ol death threats in the inbox specifically for my ship with anti so. ough scary.#unfortunately i love him though so ppl cannot get rid of me that easily .#i never reblog art of him or put anything in the main tags just in case though #HOWEVER. ENOUGH OF SAD THINGS. i highly recommend looking thru my tags i post a lot of stuff here lmao #i have a lot of other ships too !! but these 3 are the ones i think about the most :]#NOW FOR TAGS bc tumblrs search system is so busted #🔪#☀️#🌙#☢️#🎮#asks #anon #THANK U FOR THIS U DO NOT HAVE TO DRAW ME THINGS PLS DONT FEEL OBLIGATED TO <333 i will love u forever if u do though thank u aaaaaaa #🧟‍♂️ mickey #🐟 mac #<< the mac tag is . me. like the selfship version of me LMAO #i dont think theres many posts in that tag i mainly just use it for art sorting purposes

0 notes

harquinzel · 8 months

Text

honest to god i really hate the way tumblr is nowadays. like it's ridiculous that people (even some moots!) you've never spoken to just randomly block you one day even though you've never said a word to them and just liked and rbed their posts (with no shitty or rude tags or comments or anything). or someone new you just followed removes you as a follower for god knows what reason. like i genuinely do nawt make text posts or add anything sucky (nor do i ever add comments to posts, only tags really for later ref) and i'm not like "popular" enough to like.... be Known for anything. i literally mind my business and i don't even create content anymore

it's just so weird how people bitch about notes and rbs being low constantly and now you can get blocked or soft blocked just for "spam liking" or "spam reblogging" which is the entire fucking point of this platform lmao.... all of these unspoken rules by everybody are really fucking annoying! makes it very hard to interact with new blogs when i'm afraid to randomly get soft or hard blocked over literally nothing (or for just going through their blog and liking a bunch of posts!).

i miss when we all just posted whatever and there weren't a million rules to doing anything and people weren't so annoying

#personal #genuinely we were so much better off in the 2010-2014 eras where you could follow anyone and everybody wasn't so fucking insane actually #i understand dnis and stuff like that and advance warnings and i can heed them but these r people who don't have jack shit about dnis or -#- no disclaimer about don't spam like or reblog. like what is the point of this website #ranting rn cuz i'm sooooo over itttt!#i hate being autistic and on this website sometimes because i Do Not Understand.

0 notes

spookybias · 3 years

Text

wheresoever you go ‣ [ choi yeonjun ] ✧

pairing: choi yeonjun x gn! reader

genre: fluff, angst | established relationship au | long distance trope.

description: yeonjun as your long distance boyfriend. in this one, the reader lives and goes to college in seoul, south korea (at first).

warning: insecurities. brief mention of suggestive content.

word count: 1.4k

⠀ ҉ PRE LONG DISTANCE

yeonjun was a clingy boyfriend. when he greeted you, he'd give you a big hug and kiss the top of your head. he always insisted on walking you home, whether it was day or night when the two of you would part ways. and since both of you had pretty busy schedules, yeonjun would make time to talk to you or meet up with you whenever he could.

when you broke the news that you were moving, yeonjun wasn't too phased at first. in his mind, there was nothing in the world that could tear you two apart. you were in love with each other and that was all that mattered. but as soon as he learned how far you were going, the weight of the situation became too much for him.

you picked a tile on the cafe floor and decided that you'd keep your eyes there so as to not see the look on yeonjun's face when you told him the bad news. "yeonjun, my family's moving and i want to go with them."

yeonjun gave you his famous smile, the one that was reserved for 'you're so cute' moments. he chuckled, "that's so sweet of you. where are you guys going? daegu? ansan?" he stirred his drink with his bendy straw and you watched as the chocolate milkshake swirled around. that, along with the bomb you had to drop on your boyfriend, was making you dizzy. you had chosen the cafe for a reason; neither of you were bold enough to make a scene in public.

you swallowed, but couldn't seem to make your throat feel less dry. "outside of the country, jjunie."

yeonjun stopped stirring his milkshake. he leaned back in the brown leather armchair of the cafe. "like, japan?"

you blinked back tears and tried not to think about crying. "farther than that," you replied, twiddling your fingers.

"singapore?" yeonjun's eyes darted back and forth. he looked like he was about to start gasping for air, maybe even lose consciousness. you hated that the place was much farther. why couldn't it had just been a couple cities over? why did it have to be in a different continent?

after giving him all the details, yeonjun chuckled and ran his hands through his hair repeatedly. you knew he wasn't losing his mind, but he sure was losing himself over the situation. he tried to convince you that you didn't really have to move with your family. you were an adult now, and you couldn't quit school. he said you could move in with him and the others, live at their dorm, but you knew that the idea was unrealistic. neither of you were ready to move in together and his boss would never allow it. you explained that you chose to go with them, and that you could transfer universities. yeonjun wanted to get mad at you, but instead, he respected your decision.

yeonjun got used to the idea of you being away from him for some time. that's just it, he got used to the idea. it hadn't actually hit him that you were moving far, far away until one day he came over, and you showed him pictures of what your family's new house would look like.

that's when yeonjun started to feel overwhelmed and anxious. he kept thinking that when you finally went over there, you would find someone within reach who was better than him in every possible way. so to fulfill his own insecurities, he would come at you with expensive gifts and outstanding dates. but then one day you told him that the two of you needed to talk and his fear of being broken up with went from a level 2 to a level 7. every time you tried to discuss the fact that you were moving away, he'd distract you with more expensive gifts and physical affection. afterwards, he always pretended to fall asleep or that he had to rush home so that you couldn't break up with him.

yeonjun wasn't sure what to do next. even the others knew there was something going on with him. it was two weeks before you would be leaving, and he was too afraid to talk to you because he thought you were going to dump him. though, he knew he needed to talk to you if he wanted you to stay with him.

it didn't take long for you to figure out what was going on with your boyfriend. so one day, you asked him out to breakfast, acting as if it would just be a regular date. yeonjun was stressed out the night before, wondering if you'd mention that you were leaving soon. when he showed up he had bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess. he picked at his food the entire time, awaiting heartbreak. however, you weren't going to break up with him, and you needed to make that clear.

you reached across the table and took the fork out of yeonjun's hand. you intertwined your fingers with his and looked him straight in the eyes. "jjunie, why don't you talk to me anymore ?"

"y-you still call me jjunie?" yeonjun sniffled, but he refused to cry. you had your reasons for dumping him and he would just have to accept it.

"why wouldn't i call you jjunie?" you squinted at your boyfriend and sighed. "yeonjun, i'm not breaking up with you. i know you think i am."

yeonjun relaxed his shoulders. it felt like the weight he had been carrying for a few months had finally lifted. he closed his eyes, leaned back in his seat like he did the day you broke the bad news, and took a deep breath. he covered his face with his hands and asked in a tiny voice, "why did you want to talk to me?" he concluded himself to be a total loser.

"jjunie, are you dumb?" you giggled. "you're my boyfriend. i wanted to talk to you about what the plan was. you know, like what time is best to call, when you think we'd be able to see-"

yeonjun leaned over the cafe table and kissed you hard, cutting off your sentence. he loved you so much.

the day of departure, yeonjun accompanied you and your family to the airport. he held you in his arms, and tried to ignore the fact that it would be a long time until he got to hug you again. he wanted to put the moment in a bottle so that he could return at any time, and hold you for as long as he wanted. but he you knew he was okay. he knew the two of you would be okay.

⠀ ҉ POST LONG DISTANCE

yeonjun is still a clingy boyfriend. you guys would always shower each other in romantic gestures, but now it's triple the cheesy messages, double the cute playlists, and a whole lot of phone calls and video chats.

when he visits a new place, he always takes a picture to send to you and adds, "when you come back, let's go here together."

he sends you a whole lot of videos and voice messages, and you do the same, especially if it's a very busy day for one of you and you know you might not get the chance to talk. yeonjun's favorite thing to do is send you a voice message right when he wakes up so you can hear his raspy voice, and send videos of him blowing kisses at the camera.

it's much easier to tease you now. when he sees an outfit that's cute and a little sinful while walking past a store, he takes a picture to send to you and goes, "you would look cute in this. should i ship it to you so you can call me while wearing it?" please forgive the man, he doesn't get any action now that you're gone.

you spam him with tons of selfies. he saves all of them... until he runs out of storage and has to choose which ones he loves more and it's harder than any exam he's ever taken.

the idea of seeing him again is always on your mind. you miss the times he would walk you home, kiss your forehead, let you sit on his lap. and yeonjun constantly thinks about all of your old cuddle sessions and movie nights. he misses you so so much.

as far as insecurities go, yeonjun isn't worried about you ending things with him anymore. you, on the other hand, get a little nervous whenever you're on the phone with him and hear a charming voice in the background. yeonjun senses you're uneasiness, and has no problem explaining who it is and what's going on.

there's nothing to worry about, though. neither of you are going anywhere. long distance is a piece of cake to yeonjun now, and you know you'll hold each other soon.

321 notes · View notes

mysteriouseggsbenedict · 3 years

Text

thoughts on TMBS episodes so far

I am resurrecting this account purely because I have nobody IRL to yell about this series with. This will be absurdly long. I just need to get this out of my system.

I will address a few of the things I’ve seen others talk about in this tag

1) Curtain’s lack of wheelchair: I actually am okay with this choice. This is one of the only things about the books that I think was possibly a poor decision, purely because of the possibility that it could be interpreted in an ableist way. The books are very clear in specifying that Curtain uses the chair because he is afraid of showing weakness and appearing out of control, which are his prime characteristics as a villain, but it’s still possible for someone (esp a child) to see it and make the association of “wheelchair = bad person.” I do really hope that he still does have narcolepsy and just hides it in some other way. I think that’s part of his character that should not be erased.

2) MR. BENEDICT IS PERFECT. THE WAY HE SAID “NEEDED” AND REYNIE REPEATED IT. THE WAY HE SAID HELLO TO THEM AND THAT THE BOATWRIGHT ACADEMY SCIENCE WING IS GOOD AND AGREED WITH CONSTANCE THAT HIS NARCOLEPSY IS WEIRD. I JUST LOVE HIM PHENOMENAL CASTING. NUMBER TWO AND RHONDA AND MILLIGAN ARE PERFECT. ALL OF THE CHILDREN ARE PERFECT EXCEPT KATE AND HERE’S WHY: beyond the lack of long blonde hair (I could live with this I guess since it’s purely a physical trait) she is far more aggressive and stubborn than book Kate. Apart from her choice to wait to ring the bell with Reynie and Sticky, she lacks the “breezy” personality the book often gives her. Her insistence on scaling the tower and reluctance to work as a team is not Kate-like.

3) I really enjoyed seeing the scenes of Mr. Benedict and Number Two and Rhonda from their POV when the kids send them messages. Although it broke my heart, seeing Mr. Benedict react to learning who Curtain is was an amazing thing to see develop his character that isn’t present in the books. The humanizing of him was phenomenal. Except he like...didn’t have narcolepsy anymore?? They didn’t show him fall asleep when he certainly would have while going through such strong emotions. I also wish Number Two and Rhonda had reacted more lovingly and affectionately. They sort of seemed still just thinking about the mission rather than taking care of him when he was clearly in a lot of pain and not taking good care of himself. I ALSO AM ANGRY THAT THEY MADE HIM LOSE TOUCH WITH CURTAIN (OR “NATHANIAL” LMAO) AT AGE TWELVE BECAUSE THAT ERASES THE EXTRAORDINARY EDUCATION OF NICHOLAS BENEDICT (SET WHEN HE IS NINE) AND THAT IS A TRAGEDY AND A SHAME.

5) it was kind of weird and interesting that they had the adults interpreting messages from the kids?? Like the reversal of “beware therefore the gemeni.”

6) THE LACK OF THE CHESS QUESTION AND THE WHITE KNIGHT SCENE AND THE LINE “PERHAPS BECAUSE HE DOUBTED HIMSELF” IS A WAR CRIME. THIS IS PROBABLY THE THING I MOST WISH THEY HAD INCLUDED. I NEED THIS SCENE. THIS SCENE GAVE MY ELEVEN YEAR OLD SELF THE WILL TO LIVE. I WOULD DIE FOR THIS SCENE

4) The institute. Okay. So, the character of Mr. Oshiro is very interesting and I’m looking forward to seeing if/how he becomes important. They changed the classes in a major way by making them have these interesting riddles rather than only repeating rote memorization. I noticed they did show shots of this happening in ep 3 but it’s definitely emphasized a lot less. Martina is wonderful. Mr. Bloom seemed too happy– the workers are supposed to be depressed. THE THING WITH PEOPLE GETTING KICKED OFF THE ISLAND? I feel like that was just the writers being like “we have to add spice we have to make people on the edge of their seats.” For some reason in my head I didn’t imagine such a futuristic, cool vibe for the interior design. I saw it as like cold and plain.

5) I don’t have an issue with SQ being Curtain’s adopted son because that’s like...basically what he is in the books just unofficially lmao. But if they don’t make him clumsy and forgetful we’ll have issues. SQ my darling you are perfect and precious and deserve better.

6) constance’s accent lmao I have no idea what this is for, I don’t think it changes her character at all, it’s just hilarious because she opened her mouth and I was like oh my lord is this child french?? I don’t even know what exactly it is. It sounds vaguely french. I’m here for it. Constance my love.

#the mysterious benedict society #the mysterious benedict society disney plus #a bunch of smart orphans #carrying a bird #depends on the wagon #tmbs #the extraordinary education of nicholas benedict #nicholas benedict #reynie muldoon #kate wetherall #constance contraire #sticky washington

45 notes · View notes

buckyskorpion · 4 years

Text

11 hours - part seven

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x Reader

Summary: bucky is the mystery you can’t wait to solve. if you can get out of his bed long enough, that is. a biker au.

Warnings: gang-typical violence, sex scenes, alcohol mentions, probably more to come so stay tuned

A/N: hello i apologise in advance. pls dont hurt me!!! i would appreciate your feedback and your theories about where this fic is going! i hope this part isn’t too..... upsetting lmao. i wont be taking tags for this so please dont ask.

title taken from 11 hours by wet | playlist | please donate to my ko-fi!

masterlist

You believed, until now, that you walked the world seeking out dark corners and underbellies other people didn’t want to touch. That’s your job. The current case you're supposed to be working on involves a man suspected of drugging his girlfriend to take nonconsensual nudes of her and sell them to his friends while she slept. You’re well aware the world is a dangerous place.

But things look different now, in a way you never could have imagined before the Lerna. Those men were dead before you could blink, and you know life is expendable and fragile and so easy to take but it’s another thing to see it taken before your eyes. It’s another thing to take it yourself. And you know, now, why Bucky would only show you parts of his life and himself because this whole truth feels like staring directly into the sun - painfully bright, to the point where it’s all you can see and all the good things are reduced to a spotty, hazy blur.

You’re sitting in your office, at your desk where you’re trying to work but you can’t get the sound of bullet casings hitting the floor and the thunk of a knife in skin out of your head. There, in the centre of your tiny office, was where you sat on Bucky’s lap and kissed him and demanded ‘no secrets.’ Too stubborn to know he was keeping them for a reason, that maybe there are things you don't want to know after all. But you can feel his skin under your fingertips and the brush of his stubble as he kissed you, a memory you can touch, and you can’t help but think it still feels worth it. At the end of it all, if it was a choice of the Lerna happening or never having Bucky at all, you know what you’d chose.

As if he can hear you, your phone buzzes with a text from him. Joey’s at 7?

It’s already 6:30. You’re grabbing your keys and leaving the fear on your desk chair as you text him back. Sounds perfect.

It really is. Joey’s is your favourite bar, and just seeing the grimy neon sign outside makes your heart feel less heavy. This, after everything, remains the same. You still feel giddy jogging down the stairs, ready for the heady bass music to push through your chest and a whiskey apple to numb the wounds. It feels like the beginning, half-nervous half-excited to go find Bucky tucked in a booth at the back, dim purple light chiseling out his cheekbones and catching bright on his sharp smile. Back then it was innocent, if a fuck buddy hook-up could be. Now that you know you would do things for Bucky you’d never do for anyone else, that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to remove his brand from your heart- well. You skip a couple more steps as you head down into Joey’s, only a few minutes late.

You don’t slow down as you enter the bar, weaving through patrons searching for a familiar face. Now that you’re here to the urge to see him, to have him in your arms, is almost unbearable. When you do find Bucky, spinning a glass between his fingers in a nervous habit you’ve noticed he has, he feels your eyes on him immediately. He stands and you crash into him, burying your hands under his leather jacket to feel the warmth of his body against your palms. Bucky hugs you back just as harshly, the force of his embrace lifting your toes off the ground. When he pulls away his runs a hand over your head, down your hair, coming to rest by the side of your neck as if to check your pulse and make sure you’re really there.

“You ok?” he asks, bright blue eyes now dark and hooded as he stares down at you.

You nod, unwilling to let go of your grip on the back of his t-shirt even as he pulls away, and say, “Am now.”

“Need to talk to you, it’s important,” Bucky says. He escapes your grip with ease, because he’s huge and strong and it’s easy to forget that when he softens for you. He sits at the booth and you slide in across him, watching as he downs the rest of the straight whiskey in his glass like its water. That bad feeling is back, like back at Steve’s tattoo shop, but you don’t want it here. You fumble for Bucky’s hand across the table, and he lets you hold it but it doesn’t stop the dread settling heavy in your gut. You squeeze his fingers tighter, just in case.

“Is everything alright?” you ask. “Are we- did the cops find out-“

“No, no,” Bucky says, shaking his head down at the table. His gaze catches on your intwined fingers, the glint of his signet rings in the dim bar light, and says, “The cops aren’t the problem.”

“But there is a problem,” you say, and now Bucky raises his eyes to look at you.

“I need to tell you something, it’s important” Bucky says, again, and the dread rises from your stomach like bile to your throat. “You have to understand this, so you can see that I’m not- that this isn’t just-“

“Bucky.” He lets out a ragged breath as you cut him off mid ramble, scrubs a hand through his hair. You hate the way your voice wobbles when you say, “You’re scaring me.”

You almost make yourself laugh as those words leave your mouth. This scares you? Bucky, frustrated and nervous and clinging to your hand like a lifeline, but when he walked over lifeless bodies he sunk bullets into with a giant rifle on his back - that was just fine.

“You know when we were at Steve’s, and we were talking about Hydra? About Rumlow? Do you remember that?” Bucky asks. He stares at you like he’s imploring you to say it for him, whatever it is he’s struggling to say, but you don’t understand.

You nod slowly and say, “Natasha said Rumlow had it out for you. You said Hydra is your biggest rival.”

“Yes, right,” Bucky says, nodding a bit manically. He’s still gripping your hand tight. “Rumlow hated me, and as far as we can tell - or Nat, I guess, she’s been looking into it - he was acting on his own, to get to me.”

“That’s good, right?” You don’t feel sure, with the way Bucky is acting and looking at you all glassy-eyed. “No big gang war, or whatever.”

“I need you to understand why Rumlow hated me, because it’s not just- it wasn’t just about him, ok?” Bucky says, and now he’s looking around the room like that night in your office. Casing the bar, looking for exits. “He’s dead, but none of this died with him.”

“What is ‘this’?” you ask, and wonder for the first time, do I want to find out?

“The first time I met Rumlow was in the hospital, a couple of days after I got back from Afghanistan,” Bucky says. “I’d been honourably discharged, my arm was all fucked up and fried from a chem bomb and I lost all sensation in it so they sent me home. I remember I was lying in the bed looking out the window, and it was snowing. I hadn’t been anywhere but a desert in so long and I was like, what do I do know? I don’t own a coat anymore. I’m a black ops sniper, that’s not exactly a transferrable skill - can’t even put it on a resume because it’s classified. My arm’s fried and ugly lookin’. I’m fucked.”

“You must’ve been so scared,” you say. Bucky meets your eyes, and you can see it haunting him in the back of them - so much heat and fire and pain left behind, so much cold and unknown and pain lying in front. Your dad has told you a similar story, when he came back from Iraq, and he had the same look in his eyes Bucky does right now.

“I was,” he says, and you squeeze his fingers. He looks towards your hands again and says, “I was, and they knew it.”

“Hydra,” you say, and you know you’re right. Bucky nods anyway.

“Rumlow came into my hospital room and told me, Hydra helps guys like me. They helped him and look - he’s got a job and money and friends and a team again. A purpose. But I said no. I’m black ops, I know shady guys when I seem ‘em and Rumlow reeked of it. Just, Hydra doesn’t like being told no.”

“They target vulnerable, traumatised vets in hospitals?” you ask, disgusted. You can taste the hate that boils up, and that ugly, angry part picturing Bucky lying in a bed so alone and afraid and imagining someone like Rumlow trying to take advantage of him like that - that ugly part says I’m glad he’s dead.

“They’re highly trained and easily moulded,” Bucky says in way of answer, and you shudder at the thought. “But seem Rumlow failed and it was my fault. He failed over and over again every time they sent him to recruit me. So he hated me, and then I started the Commandos with Steve and Sam and Nat to target them. The only way to save the next poor bastard like me from ending up with Hydra is to end them, except there ain't a cop in the city who can touch them.”

“But you can,” you say, and you know it’s stupid but your heart has never been known as terribly smart, so you add, “Bucky, that’s dangerous.”

He smiles, small but it’s there, and he rubs his thumb over your knuckles as he says, “I know, doll. I don’t know if you know this about me, but stupid’s kinda my thing.”

“Very funny,” you say, rolling your eyes at Bucky’s cheeky grin now splitting his face. As quick as it came, though, his smile dies and so does the small spark of hope that maybe this story has a happy ending.

“I’ve made Hydra my enemy and I can’t change that. I don’t want to,” Bucky says, nodding solemnly at his own words and you watch him physically turn cold, stony and distant in the space of a second. “But that means that as long as Hydra is around, they’re going to be coming after me. First Rumlow, but it won’t stop there. They’ll come and keep coming and what if, one time, I don’t get there in time? Or you don’t get to leave your phone on, or even make it to a location before they shoot you in the back of the car?”

“No,” you say. You’re not stupid, you know where this is going and just- no. Bucky is being deliberately harsh, speaking loud and unfiltered to try and make it easier to do what he’s about to do but you won’t let him. That dread turned bile has now turned into straight, acidic fire pumping through veins and it hurts.

Bucky smiles faint and sad, says, “You said it yourself - it’s dangerous no matter what.”

“That's not what I meant,” you say, shaking your head vehemently, wildly, as if you can physically shake Bucky of this stupid idea and the actual pain you’re in just entertaining this conversation. “You know that’s not what I meant, what are- you asked me to stay, Bucky. You asked me, and now you want-“

“I know, I know,” Bucky says, tugging your hand close to him now but it’s your turn to try and pull away, albeit unsuccessfully. “I know and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but you almost died. Do you understand that? They would have killed you, and the only reason is me.”

“That’s such bullshit,” you say, trying and failing to pull your hand free of his grip but he isn’t letting go now and the death-grip he has on you, tethering you to him even as he pushes you away, makes your eyes sting with ugly tears.

“It’s not,” Bucky says, so sad, and you just want to kiss that guilt away for him even still, even as your heart is breaking under his fist. “You will always be in danger until the day comes where I can’t protect you, and I won’t do that to you. I can’t, I can’t be the reason you get hurt.”

“You can’t protect me if you’re not around,” you say, so soft you can barely be heard over Joey’s house music but honestly, you might as well be completely alone for how little you care about the bar around you.

“The safest place for you is away from me,” Bucky says, and that makes you laugh. Humourless, fucking painfully, but you laugh and Bucky glares so dark you’re reminded of the look in his eyes when he stared down at Rumlow’s body bleeding out on the ground. Through gritted teeth he says, “You think I would do this if there was any other way?”

“There is another way,” you say, glaring right back. “There’s not being a coward about it, Bucky. You lead a dangerous life, I get it. Believe me, I fucking get it, and I chose to stay. Ok? I wanna be here anyway, so why does my choice not matter to you? Is this some stupid excuse to get rid of me?”

“Don’t say that,” Bucky all but growls, and you should be scared. He’s scary, Bucky is dangerous by his own admission but you refuse to be afraid of him. Even when he’s trying to force you to be, holding your hand too tight and dragging you around the booth so he can pin you to the seat and you both know the only way you can move is if he lets you. As if he thinks he can scare you away from him, if he can’t reason you to go.

“I don’t care how dangerous it is,” you say into his seething face, inches from yours, teeth bared in a truly terrifying snarl as he pins you to the leather in a show of strength that will leave bruises tomorrow. “I don’t wanna be away from you.”

For half a moment, you really think Bucky is going to hit you. He moves so fast, and you’ve never seen his face look like that - hurt and angry and upset and half-insane all at once. But he just presses his forehead to yours, closes his eyes and breathes you in, and for another half a moment you get to think, maybe he’ll change his mind.

“You’re all I want,” Bucky breathes, so soft and quiet you almost don’t hear him if it wasn’t said almost directly into your skin. “But that’s selfish.”

“I don’t care,” you say, like a mantra now, or a prayer. Just hoping he’ll hear you, “I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care.”

“You should,” Bucky says, and pulls away from you just as fast as he came in. “I won’t be the reason you end up dead.”

Bucky sits before you like a solid brick wall - unbreakable, immovable, cold and blank. His eyes are shuttered from you and you know there’s no way to get to him now. There’s nothing else you can say. If you aren’t enough for him to push past his fear and love you anyway, nothing you say is going to change his mind. Just because you know it’s true doesn’t mean it hurts any less, though, as you sit there boxed in by this menacing stranger looking at you in a way you never want to be looked at again. Like he already doesn’t know you. Like you’ve already been forgotten.

“This was always gonna happen, wasn’t it?” you ask, more to yourself than to Bucky. You laugh at his silence, the flat set of his mouth and clenched fists on his thighs. Maybe if you never went to that first party at Natasha’s house and remained at arms length, sneaking out his window and never staying the night, then maybe you could’ve had him just a little bit longer. But you didn’t, and now you’re hurt in a way you’ve never been before. Your dad never prepared you to survive a pain like this.

You slide out the other side of the booth, tripping slightly as you climb to unsteady feet. It’s hard to see through unshed tears but you don’t bother looking back at Bucky still sat in the booth. You weave through people just as fast as when you came in, but for the opposite reason now - you can’t leave behind this dim-lit bar painted with the gorey tatters of your heart fast enough.

When you emerge onto the street you know Bucky has followed you, his hulking presence palpable behind you as you stand on the sidewalk and try and calm your rapid heartbeat. You’re surprised its still beating with how much it hurts, especially when Bucky places a hand on your shoulder and cracks your heart neatly in two. He says, softly under New York traffic, “Let me drive you home. Please.”

Instead of asking why, why does he care, why does he want to, if the safest place is away from you then leave me alone, what you say is a mildly whiny, “You don’t know where I live.”

“I’ll put the address in my phone,” Bucky says, calm and low as if to placate you but you’re well past that point now. You’re crying openly on the street like a lunatic as Bucky gently takes your hand and leads you towards his bike, manhandles you onto it, clicks a helmet on over your head. It feels cruel for him to be this soft after so ruthlessly tearing you apart, but you suppose it’s better than being left alone in the street like he never cared at all.

When you pull up to your apartment building Bucky kills the engine and leans in close to you before you have a chance to jump off and run away. You think, surely he’s not about to kiss me right now and you really hate the part of you that hopes he does, but he doesn’t. He just leans in close and whispers into your helmet, “They could be watching your place, after what happened. I’m so sorry.”

You close your eyes. Bucky’s right, this will never stop, but that doesn’t mean you want to face it alone. Your whole life has been carved out for you only, but just once you thought maybe you could live it with someone else. That’s not a life for you to have, it seems, so you take a deep breath through snotty tears and nod, say, “I can handle it,” because you know you can. You’ll have to.

“I think-“ Bucky starts but falters, bites his lip blanched white before continuing, “They might leave you alone if you make it clear I’m not in your life anymore.”

“You can’t ask me to do that,” you say, and all the resolve you just gathered is shattered as instantly as you found it. You’re crying again because fuck, nothing has ever hurt like this has, from the inside where you can’t find it or heal it or stop it so it just sucks the life out of you one painful second at a time.

“You have to, honey,” Bucky says, and you want to punch him for it. The way he talks to you like he loves you, like he cares, but he can’t if he’s making you do this. Break your own heart to save his. “Scream at me, send me away. They won’t need to target you then.”

“You’re cruel,” you say, pulling away from him. You don’t want to touch him anymore, can’t stand to be this close so you trip off the bike and stumble down the street. Bucky stares after you, his own eyes teary and face screwed up in genuine pain. It could never compare to the sick feelings in your stomach as you take a deep breath and scream, “Go away, Bucky. Fucking leave me alone and never come back or I’ll fucking kill you, you hear me? Fuck off, and don’t come back.”

You can’t help the sob that rips from you, threatening to buckle your knees and break you right on the sidewalk. Bucky is looking at you like you’ve just stuck a knife in his chest but he asked you to, he keeps asking and taking and it’s always you that ends up hurt. You leave him on the street, stumble up the stairs to your apartment and sink to the floor as soon as the door clicks shut behind you. It’s dark in your apartment, nothing but streetlights outside casting shadows on furniture he never touched, but it still feels like he’s haunting you just the same.

Bucky’s bike revs to life and he tears away, the sound ripping straight through and down the street. It leaves you hollowed out, a burnt-through husk curled up on your hardwood floor. You know you’ll never hear that sound again.

****

For your entire life it’s always been you against the world. The only person you could ever trust is yourself, the only one who’s going to look out for you is you and you can’t remember a time where you didn’t think this way. Maybe it’s nature, maybe it’s nurture, but it’s how you’ve always seen the world.

However, you’re only now starting to feel what being truly alone is actually like.

Bucky’s contact lies open on your phone, but you don’t press call. You won’t. He pushed you away for your own ‘safety,’ for his own fear, and you’ll have to learn to live with his choice. Even though you still love him and always will, you can’t have him and you’ll just have to be ok with that. So you leave this contact photo up on your phone, resting on your coffee table beside your open laptop. You’ve got the input feed of the bug you planted in your dad’s kitchen open, chunky headphones on, scrolling through the audio from the past few days since you’d last seen him.

Your heart is broken by the first man you’ve ever let into your life and the only other person who knows you and who you trust, you’re currently spying on. Now, for the first time, you truly have no one left.

Focusing on work has always been an escape for you, and even when your life is in pieces around you and your heart looks no different, work still pulls through. Even if that work is your own father and the inane conversations he has with himself about the baseball teams on TV, or the calls he makes to his vet friends, or the late-night renditions of ABBA songs you remember well from your childhood. A file lies open on your coffee table with your father’s name on it and pages of notes you’ve made from nearly one hundred hours of audio recordings. You hope beyond hope that you’re just paranoid, and that this time when you go digging you don’t find anything at all.

The only thing you’ve noticed so far is your dad makes a lot of phone calls. They’re long, with a lot of names thrown around you don’t recognise as being his friends or anyone from work he’s mentioned to you before. You write them all down to look up later, but you’ve got to go meet a client so you shut everything down and collect your notes in the file. You hide them, just in case, and grab your leather jacket before you leave. You still have rent to pay. The world goes on around you despite everything being turned upside down, almost as if Bucky never happened at all.

You leave via the back of the building, to come out onto the street closest to the subway station. Usually smokers hang out around there so you aren’t surprised to see two men leaning against the wall, but you are surprised when they star following you down the alley. At this point you’re an old hand at being followed, and the petty part of you brain thinks in Bucky’s direction, see? Doesn’t matter if you’re here or not, dumbass. You sigh to yourself and plan to give them the run around once you clear the alley, but you don’t get a chance to.

From behind you hear a couple of solid thunks, a groan, a muttered curse from one of the men and then one final thunk before silence. You turn around, half afraid of who you’re going to meet once you do and half annoyed because you think you might know who it is. Sure enough, standing there in her leather jacket and a rusted metal pipe from the dumpster in her grip, is Natasha.

She blows a stray strand of hair out of her face and says, “Fancy seeing you here.”

“So he’ll break up with me but will still have me followed,” you say, folding your arms over your chest. Natasha shrugs and you mutter, “Figures.”

“I am always the first to say James is an idiot,” Natasha says, twirling the pipe like a baton in her delicate hands. She grins at you and says, “James is an idiot.”

“I’m aware,” you grit out, glaring at the red-head. “What are you doing here?”

“Making sure you don’t end up as Hydra mince-meat,” Natasha says, “What does it look like?”

“Doing whatever Bucky says even when it’s stupid,” you say. Natasha doesn’t like that, her bright grin dropping into a scowl as she steps up to you. Small, but with a clearly lethal weapon in her hands if the unconscious bodies behind her are anything to go by, she jabs the tip of the pipe into your chest and forces you a step backwards.

“James always has good intentions, even if his logic is sometimes flawed.” She drops the pipe, letting it clang to the floor between you as if to punctuate her saying, “Besides, James didn't tell me to do anything. I volunteered.”

“Why?” you ask, sneering slightly. “I think we both know you don’t trust me, or like me, and you make it very hard to like you.”

Natasha smiles at that, and you hate the face she makes every time you say something she ‘approves’ of - condescending, like she doesn’t expect you to have brain cells and is surprised every time you do. She says, very solemn despite the smile in her eyes, “I owe you.”

That makes you pause. Instantly, like you’re right back in that bar. You can see her groaning body struggling to stand after being thrown into a wall. Rumlow pointing a gun at her back, the blood-thirst emanating off him in waves. Your own hand, as if detached from your body, flinging the knife across the room into his neck before he can put a bullet in Natasha’s.

You swallow thickly, shake your head and say, “No you don’t.”

“I do,” she insists. She steps forward with her hand out, beckoning her fingers like she wants you to hand her something. You just stare at her empty palm for a few seconds before she clicks her tongue and says, “Phone.”

You hand it over without thinking, which was definitely stupid. But Natasha just types away quickly before giving it back and you see you have a new contact with her name attached entered into your phone.

“If you ever need anything,” she says, and taps your phone screen with her nail, “call me.”

It was only minutes ago you were sitting on your couch scrolling through audio from your tapped father’s kitchen thinking you’ve never been more alone in your life. Yet here you are, looking at a helping hand outstretched from the last person you expected it to come from. Your fingers shake slightly as you tuck your phone into your back pocket, and Natasha smiles at you like she understands.

“Thank you,” you say, and you hope she knows you genuinely do mean it.

Natasha nods, then says, “Get out of here, alright? I have to clean this up.”

You suppose that’s Natasha speak for ‘your welcome,’ so you leave her to it. The whole client meeting you can’t focus properly, too busy trying to decide if you feel safer or more afraid at having one of the scariest women you know watching your apartment. By the end of the day, your conclusion is that if Natasha is going to be in your life, its probably best she’s on your side rather than against it.

When you get home that afternoon there is no sign of the two guys Natasha knocked out, nor is she anywhere to be seen. You can’t help but feel watched, though, as you enter your building and climb the stairs. She’s a busy woman and you know she can’t be watching you all the time but you still feel her green eyes on the back of your neck - its not an altogether uncomfortable sensation. That’s something to unpack later, you think, as you collapse on the couch.

You try to resist, but as soon as you sit down and close your eyes the urge to forget about the case you’ve just taken on and look into your own hunches grows too strong. You get up again and fish out your dad’s file again from your hiding place, bringing it back to the couch to flip open. The list of names you’ve been compiling is at the top, scribbled in messy handwriting as you listened to your dad’s one-sided conversations. You tallied up how many times the same name had been mentioned and in what context, however it had been hard to decipher what your dad was talking about with only half the story.

You decide to go looking into the most mentioned name - more of a title, really. Somebody your dad calls Chief shows up in almost every single conversation he has over the phone, and when you were going through the audio it dredged up some strange, suppressed childhood memory. You used to hear him talking to guys downstairs when you were doing your homework, and you always thought he called them ‘chief’ as a nickname or weird, macho term of endearment like how kids in your class would call each other ‘bro’.

Maybe, he was only talking to one guy. You were going to find out.

Starting at your dad’s job, you scroll through their website and LinkedIn profiles to find any link to the name ‘Chief.’ He works as a security guard for a chain of clubs in the city so you are doubtful, and sure enough nothing really comes up to peak your interest. Your dad really only has one other major outlet to look into and that’s the VA, so you have to swallow past the dirty feeling of investigating suffering vets and start scrolling through the website for the Brooklyn VA group attached to the medical centre.

It’s all wholesome stuff and nothing of interest to your snooping at all until you get to a photo gallery from four years ago. It’s dedicated to commemorating the Brooklyn VA and New York Police Department workshop day promoting mental health for vets and servicemen. There are a bunch of photos of group activities and the lunch put on by the VA, and you spot your dad in a couple of them. You’re about to click off when you find one where your dad is posed with another vet and a very official, very dressed up cop. Nothing you haven’t seen at least forty of before in this gallery, but it’s the caption which makes you pause.

It reads, Some of the Brooklyn VA’s finest with NY Chief of Police. It has to be a coincidence, the man’s job title and nothing more. He’s tall, broad, with sandy blonde hair turning grey under his police hat. There are more medals than you can count pinned to his uniform and even in this grainy photo you can tell he would squash your dad like an ant if he gave the Chief of Police a reason to. You’ve never paid attention to this before, steering clear of cops whenever you can, but you find yourself googling him as soon as you can pull yourself away from his mile-long stare.

As soon as the NYPD profile on the Chief of Police loads, your blood turns to ice. You want to say you’re crazy, you’re crazy, you’re paranoid, but name one time your paranoia had led you wrong? Two strange coincidences don’t happen back to back, no matter how disconnected they may appear. Two worlds you never thought you would know, let alone be watching them collide, stare up at you from your computer screen. You can hear Steve’s voice like he’s sitting right next to you, saying “It is strange we haven’t heard anything from Pierce,” and right under a professional portrait of the Chief of Police is his name burning into the back of your eyelids - Alexander Pierce.

You shove your laptop onto the coffee table and stand, pacing back and forth in front of your couch. Scraping a hand through your hair and pulling half of it out of your head in the process, you try to reason your way out of connecting these dots. They’re barely dots, their echoes of dots - so your dad took a photo with the Chief of Police four years ago and he refers to someone he knows as ‘Chief’ as a nickname and Steve mentioned Pierce was someone in Hydra and the Chief of Police happened to be named Alexander Pierce. So what, right?

“Ok, ok, ok, ok,” you say to yourself, rushed and manic. You’ll just ask your dad. He’s your dad, he was never supposed to hide anything from you so why would he start now? If you just ask he might-

You don’t get to finish your thought. Three loud knocks ring through your empty apartment, your doorbell chiming impatiently straight afterwards. You stare at the door with your heart in your throat, long enough for them to ring the doorbell again and a loud, male voice to call out your full name. Someone you don’t recognise, yet they know where you live. You approach the door on silent feet and look through the peephole, reaching for the baseball bat you keep behind a pot plant as you do.

Standing outside are two men in suits, one of whom is looming at the peephole and making stupid faces while his college rolls his eyes and attempts to hold him back. Through the door, you ask, “Who is it? What department are you with?”

“I’m Special Detective James Rhodes and this is my partner, Special Detective Tony Stark,” the unimpressed cop says, elbowing his colleague out of the way who is still trying to look through the wrong side of the peephole. Holding up a badge and gesturing for his partner to do the same, Detective Rhodes says, “We’re with the FBI, ma’am.”

“Shit,” you say, before realising you said that out loud. Your hand feels numb where you grip your baseball bat tightly, and you decide in that moment you have to be dreaming. No way has the events of the past fifteen minutes taken place.

The guy who must be Detective Stark laughs and says, “Shit is right. Let us in, ma’am, we need to ask you some questions.”

You look back at the coffee table laden with copious notes on your father and your open laptop, Chief of Police Alexander Pierce’s face staring back at you. An omen, you think, but it would be even more suspicious if you asked them to wait to clean everything up. Your heart-stopping, life-changing, maybe-discovery will have to wait.

You slide off the chain and unlock your deadbolt, opening the door for the two FBI agents. They walk in without another word, and it really hits you then. It doesn’t matter what Bucky does now, if he leaves you and never comes back or if he never left at all - you’re in this, now. And now you’ll pay the price.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader fic #bucky x reader fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fic #reader insert fic #pov fic #biker!bucky #biker!bucky au #biker au #avengers fic #marvel fic #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #11 hours #heheheheeeee

523 notes · View notes

katsukis-sad-angel · 3 years

Text

Based on a True Story

Summary: there's this boy who makes you super uncomfy and doesnt take a hit, but you're to sweet to tell him to back off. Katsuki Bakugou, the more blunt end of the friendship, is happy to tell him off and free you from that sorry bastard.

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Warnings: possible tw, a lot of swearing and some pretty colorful insults, there are guys that are really fucking creepy, based on the actual events of February 7th, 2021 at around 10:30 pm

A/N: this was very very rushed, I just wanted to write myself some comfort real quick and go to bed last night and I didn't have time to properly edit! I'm really proud of some of the banter lmao, please enjoy and never be afraid to punt a ballsack! I'll add tags later🙄🙄🙄

A message popped up on your screen and your once neutral expression went sour. Slamming the face of your phone onto your pillow, you groaned angrily into your bedspread, catching the attention of a certain ash blonde sitting in your comfy desk chair a few feet away. Katsuki Bakugou, one of your best friends, gave a questioning glance but refused to meet his ember gaze

“What’s your deal?” He asked, not letting his genuine curiosity as to why there was such a pained look on your face, show.

You opened your mouth but paused.

Katsuki already knew about this boy and scolded you every time he saw his name pop up in your notifications, telling you to ‘fucking block him already’ for the umpteenth time. It wasn’t like you had feelings for the guy anymore, you were just too nice and polite to cut him off completely and tell him to go fuck himself.

The ash-blonde had already volunteered to do it for you, but you always said no because you knew he’d just find another way to contact you.

“It’s that piss baby again isn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

“Wow, did you just agree with one of my insults?”

“Suki, I’m about to take you up on your offer to tell him to go fuck himself.”

He snickered, “Now you’re talking sense. What the hell is that pansy bitching about now?”

You sigh and roll over on your back and Katsuki moves to sit on the edge of your bed.

“I cut him off for a while, I really did! It felt so good to be free of him, but then he got my number again and started bothering me a few days ago. I saw him at school yesterday and told him I wasn’t interested in dating at all and he was like whatever so I honestly thought he could keep it in his pants and we could just be friends but nooo! He calls me a simp for anime guys, I tell him to stop being a hypocrite because he used to simp for me and he was like “I still do. You’re the only one” yeah like I’m stupid enough to actually believe that!”

You paused to catch your breath, but before you could start speaking again Katsuki interjected, “Well, you are stupid…”

You socked him in the bicep and he hunched over laughing. You looked so fucking adorable when you got royally pissed at him.

“Oh go to hell.” You snapped, crossing your arms and continuing, “Anyway, this guy used to simp for my goddamn sister! Not only do I reject being a replacement for her, but if she rejected his sorry ass, that means he’s a huge piece of shit because she’s super picky.”

“I might’ve mentioned that once or twice-”

You punched him again to shut him up. “Plus he’s super creepy and gross and it always feels like he’s undressing me with his eyes and whenever he’s around I want to dive into a pool full of only chlorine and drink it. I’m just trying to coexist and just be nice to him but apparently, a female looking in his general direction means that they want dicked down by his micropenis. He’s so fucking dense too. Why can’t he see that I’m not interested, especially after I EXPLICITLY told him that?!”

By that point, you were on the verge of frustrated tears, bottom lip trembling just slightly with bottled up emotion.

Katsuki could see it.

You felt trapped in something you never signed up for and you’d do anything to get out. All of this frustration had been stored inside of you for so long and it just kept mounting and multiplying until you burst into tears.

“Goddammit, come here dumbass,” He growled, gathering you into a warm embrace, “You can’t keep all this bs inside okay?”

He let you sob into his shoulder, one calloused hand supporting the base of your neck and the other crossed firmly over your back so you’d feel safe and secure; away from the world full of horrible people and into a small one of just your best friend’s warmth and the sweet sweet scent of caramel.

“Why don’t you listen to me? You’re just too fucking nice to every shitty dickhead that sees you as an easy, fuckable target. Something really fucking bad is gonna happen to you if you don’t shape up and learn how to punt a dude’s excuse for a ballsack and tell him what you really think.”

You raised your head from the solace of his shoulder to look at him with big, reproachful doe eyes and whimpered, “I tried that!”

“Have you tried punting their fucking balls first?”

“No… that would hurt.”

“That’s the point.”

“But if I did it without reason I could get suspended or charged with aggravated assault!”

It was Katsuki’s turn to sigh.

“That’s not the point dumbass, the point is that you need to tell these bastards off when they start getting creepy. You know what? Why don’t you just fucking ignore their sorry asses in the first place!”

You sniffle and drag a hand over your cheek to dry your tears, then resume your position with your face in the crook of your best friend’s neck.

“I feel bad for them.”

“Well stop. I’m gonna call him now alright? After that, we’ll block his stupid ass on every fucking app, you hear me?”

You nod and hug him tighter as he leans forward to grab your phone and opens it with your passcode, swiftly finding his name in your contact list and pressing the call icon, then he tapped the speaker button and waited.

The call was picked up almost immediately and a voice on the other line said, “Hey cutie! I was just about to call and ask to see if you wanted to come over on-”

“She’s not here.” Katsuki cut him off with a dry snarl, “And last time I checked she wasn’t interested enough in your sorry ass for you to be calling her ‘cutie.’”

You could almost hear his lip curl in utter disgust.

“Who the fuck are you?” The voice asked, dropping its sickeningly sweet tone to something more appropriate in light of the previous insult.

“I’m her fucking boyfriend you dickwad-” You popped up from your haven in surprise, mouth open to sputter in protest but he put a finger to your lips and smirked, “who the fuck are you?”

“No fucking way that whore has a boyfriend-”

“Ex-fucking-scuse me? Shut your mouth, you mother fucking pussy, insult her one more time and I’ll fuck you up so bad you won’t be recognizable by the time you get to the hospital.” He snapped back, “She’s crying right now because you’re too dense to realize she doesn’t want any business with some horse-faced piss baby like you. Take the hint right fucking now you useless bastard so you don’t make the mistake of coming near her again because I. Will. Kill. You. Delete this number because she’s too sweet to block you herself, but I will.”

“Fuck man, I was just tryna get laid. She’s the one who started rubbing herself all over me-”

“I said delete this number. Damn, you are a dense piece of shit aren’t you?”

“Hey, I-”

Katsuki pressed ‘end call’ and blocked his contact, moving from Instagram to Snapchat, to any social app you had, and blocked him left and right until he was satisfied.

“Feel better?” He asked softly, tossing your phone aside and peeling you off.

You carded a shaky hand through your hair and wiped your eyes, giving him a watery smile and a nod.

“Why did you tell him that we were in a relationship?” You asked, voice on the edge of a taunt.

“To make him mad.”

“I mean, it worked, but is that the only reason?” You giggled.

“The hell are you insinuating?”

“Do you… possibly by chance… have feelings for me?”

You batted your eyes at him and he retched, but the smirk was still present on his handsome features.

“What’s it to you?”

You squirm a bit, but something pops into your head so you can stall a bit longer.

“I mean, you’re not THAT ugly-”

He responded with a simple, harsh flick to the forehead to make you whine and try to whack him, but he easily intercepted your fist and pushed you on your back, caging you in nothing short of a horizontal kabedon.

It was your turn to smirk, “Yenno ‘Suki, I could very easily… oh what was your phrasing? ‘Punt your fucking balls’ in this position…”

“Just shut up and tell me what the hell you want.” Katsuki snapped.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.” You prod.

“You look like a pissed hamster when you’re mad.” He shot back.

“You smell like a fucking candy store after training.”

“You’re the dictionary definition of a dumbass.”

“You have a better hourglass figure than Yaomomo.”

“You're quickly becoming an extra.”

“Date me.”

“Fine.”

“Wait really?”

“It’s the only way I can kiss you, protect you, and keep you all to myself.” He shrugged, leaning in dangerously close, “You don’t fucking understand how hard it is to watch you prancing around with one failed abortion after another and watching you cry because they leave since you don’t want the one thing they’re after.”

“You’ve always been there for me ‘Suki… I guess I just took you for granted, and I’m really sorry.” You met his soft vermillion gaze with a meaningful and apologetic one and reached out to squeeze his hand.

“‘S okay. You’re mine now, right?”

You nod, smiling.

“So it doesn’t matter how dense you are anymore.” He smirked, laying down on your bed and dragging you down with him so you were tucked comfortably under his chin.

You grabbed the remote and flicked on the tv, preparing to turn on an anime you had in mind.

“What romance garbage are you inflicting on me this time?” Your new boyfriend groaned, burying his face in your hair.

“One that’s super sappy and romantic and sad just to piss you off.” You pouted, clicking on each letter to form the desired word in the search bar.

“Have fun with that.” Katsuki snarked, beginning to move away, but you stopped him by deftly pressing your lips to his.

You slowly pulled away, blushing furiously, but happy to feel strong forearms snaking around your front and crossing over your stomach.

“I certainly will.” You respond.

56 notes · View notes

snarkwriteswrasslin · 4 years

Note

Can you do a daddy kink headcanon for Marko Stunt?

While I do see Marko as having a daddy kink... I don’t know that your idea of him having one and mine are gonna line up but...I will happily write out the way I see it working!! Also, thank you for sending me this! It was an actual blast to sit down and think out! Sorry in advance if what you get is not what you were expecting,btw. I hope you enjoy it though!.

Warnings:

This might get suggestive. Maybe borderline sexual in the tame kind of way. So if there’s any kids reading this, take a hike for now. Beyond that, teeth rotting sweet I guess? Oh and a trigger warning for my rambling, because it’s probably frustrating af, lmao.

Tagging:

My tag list is all out of whack rn. Sorry guys! I’m trying to fix it. If you recently changed urls, let me know, especially if you wanna be tagged, because that’s pretty much what the issue was, a lot of the names I had weren’t working anymore last time I tried to post. Anyway... If you wanna be tagged in my writing, pls go add yourself to the linked doc below or dm/send me an ask to do it. And also, if you’re already on it, but you either changed urls and/or haven’t been getting tagged, pls lemme know. It might be an issue on my end, idk.

Other Stuff:

[ about my writing | masterlist | tag list doc ]

You never meant to say it, let alone blab to a friend backstage that Marko Stunt was quote unquote “Daddy as fuck.” But you did. And you thought you were in a private enough area when it was said that he’d never have a clue you said it, because honestly, you were too afraid to actually... Have the audacity to tell him how you felt.

-- This was not the case. Not only did someone hear it, but that someone was Marko. After he leaned against the wall for a good ten minutes, letting the rush go straight to his head and trying to calm himself down, he started to really think on the magnitude of what he now knew to be true. And how to best use it to get you all to himself because he’d been into you for months. By the time he was in catering, grinning like an idiot, he’d started thinking of lyrics to a song just for you and he’d come up with the perfect plan to make you crack.. To at least get you two interacting more, in any case. See, Marko isn’t exactly the bold kind of guy. He has to know what he wants is a sure thing before that boldness surfaces. And now that he did, well...

It started subtly.. Innocently, even. Subtle brushes against you in hallways and on elevators. Wandering up to you and drawing you into conversations just to make you laugh -and flirt with you, which you were... kind of oblivious too because you’re just that oblivious and he can be that smooth/awkward, depending on how you choose to see it sometimes. Accidentally crashing into your back and pressing himself against you just slightly, chuckling and then daring to whisper against the shell of your ear either an apology, or that you two had to stop meeting like this. Every single encounter left you a dripping confused mess.

-- That daddy sweater he’s got? It started to make so many more appearances. Especially if he were going somewhere and he knew you’d be there. At first, you thought nothing of it. But then a friend pointed out that he’d stopped wearing it until recently. And yeah, the paranoid parts of you did panic just a bit that maybe he’d have heard you the day you spilled your deepest desire to your best friend while hanging out in back. But you quickly managed to reassure yourself that he couldn’t have heard you, because he wasn’t even around at the time....

-- Then he started seeking you out whenever he knew Sammy was filming vlogs. Flirting -and doing some heavy teasing, on camera. Always so touchy. Always quick to get real heated whenever someone tried to push up on you or even take the conversation over a little bit when he was already there and talking to you. And on one particular occasion, he came off exactly like a protective boyfriend when this guy in the hotel lobby wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone and it scared you. Just the way he pulled your back to his chest and put his arms around you... Whispering and laughing against your ear when he muttered with a calm smirk at the other guy, “There you are, baby girl. Thought I lost you. You ready to check into our room?”

-- That was a loooooong night. Filled with many varying racy scenarios flitting about in your mind. Knowing he had the bed across the room did NOTHING to help. If anything, it made things so much worse. So much more intense. Sharing a room with him was both your dream scenario and in this case, sheer torture... Because all the little touching and the flirting and the innuendo? It was amplified by at least ten on this weekend.

The final straw came when he accidentally burst into the bathroom just as you were stripping down for a long hot soak in the huge tub. Both of you froze. You attempted to at least halfway cover yourself, but he crossed the room in a split second, towering over you... It hit you then, every single time you two had an encounter, Marko honestly seemed to be making himself tower over you.

-- His hand raised slowly, lowering your hands from the way they covered your body as best as you could manage. When you locked eyes, there was this almost wild gleam there. You happened to glance down and notice that he was wearing the damn sweater again and that... really did not help the intensity of the situation. You were kind of melting into him, eyes fixed on that shirt, cheeks on fire. “Daddy, huh?” you managed to get the words out.. He chuckled. His hands dropped and long,thin fingers curled beneath your chin to make you look up. “Depends on who you ask, angel.. Am I?” his tongue slipped slowly over his lips and you whimpered, shivering at the gentle way he was touching you and how it was a nice juxtaposition to the firmness in his tone when he asked the question he’d just asked quietly. He repeated himself.. A little firmer. That gleam in his eye was brighter, a lot brighter. He was standing closer now, your back was against the edge of the vanity sink in the bathroom. “Am I?”

-- You couldn’t take anymore. Weeks of teasing and hinting, of his innuendo, they were all leading up to this. When you tried to open your mouth, nothing came out... I mean, aside from the quiet whimper that only grew when his hand lowered, gripping your back and rocking your body right into his. He got this little smirk as he kept inching his mouth closer to yours. “Well? I asked a question, sweetheart... I’m kind of waiting on an answer.”

-- Finally, your daze cleared and you got yourself together enough that you just totally snapped, arms wrapping around his neck, legs wrapping around his waist as you used the grip you had on the back of his neck to pull your mouth into his completely. His tongue swept out, right between your lips. You managed to finally mumble the answer, “If you want to be, yeah. You’re totally daddy. My daddy.”

-- Whew, fuck... the low and throaty growl that came, spilling between your mouths when you said it. He rocked into you harder, rubbing you against him as he did so. “Say it again.” he demanded, a breathy pant against your neck as he sat you on the edge of the vanity....

#marko stunt #marko stunt fanfiction #marko stunt imagine #marko stunt fanfic #marko stunt imagines #marko stunt headcanons - racy/suggestive #possibly ns(fw)#my writing; marko stunt #my fics; marko stunt #my headcanons; marko stunt #// no one under 18+#//tw: daddy kink #//tw: possibility of s*xual content

25 notes · View notes

bettsfic · 4 years

Note

do you know anything about like, the development of the purity rhetoric that now seems to be ubiquitous in fandom and how it got there? i used to be on tumblr in like, 2014 and only recently came back to fandom and i remember everyone being generally kind of cool with things like incest ships and morally grey characters (speaking specifically re the frozen fandom and elsa/anna here lmao) whereas now it seems like the conversation about those things has drastically shifted and i am..puzzled by it

this is what i imagine that experience was like for you:

according to fanlore, purity culture started in the homestuck fandom which. based on what i know of homestuck, that tracks. however i’ve never been in homestuck so i’m not sure what that transformation was like. all i know is my personal experience with the disk horse. afaik there’s no cohesive timeline of events across fandom, and i lack the time and resources to be able to make one myself. if anyone knows of one, or wants to make one, please let me know.

i do know that purity culture is a movement started by very young teenagers, who were maybe 13-15 in 2014 and are now 18-20. they were 8-10 when ao3 was founded, and therefore seem to have a limited knowledge of fan history, censorship, and critical thinking. i’m hoping that since they’re now entering college, they’ll get some insight and broader social awareness, and this movement will finally die out in the next few years.

on any other platform, at any other time, their toxic rhetoric would not have gained traction. but here and now, on tunglr dot com where anyone can gain a platform, where mob mentality thrives and inciting an anonymous dogpile is as easy as hitting Post, where the brokenness of this place makes it difficult to control the content you’re exposed to -- it’s the perfect storm. we live in an age of hopelessness. young people grow up with social media as an extension of their identities, tethered to devices that hold all the information in the world. i think it’s fair for them to be afraid of their futures, and i can understand the desire to control the online spaces where they have the most agency, where their voices are the loudest.

that may explain why, but not how. as in, where did they pick up this mentality at all? @freedom-of-fanfic (whose work is a necessity in understanding the disk horse) connected anti-shipping to TERF rhetoric. i’ve linked the fanlore page because it has all of the links and some of the responses. i honestly do believe that the language surrounding purity culture has its ugly roots in TERFdom. at its core, purity culture -- the policing of female and queer sexuality -- is misogyny.

when i started writing destiel circa 2014, fandom was as you described. wincest was a juggernaut on par with destiel. teen wolf was full of underage and noncon. a/b/o was on the rise. it seemed like fandom was a genre without restraint -- anything you wrote, if it found the right audience, would be celebrated unabashedly. people who have been following me for a long time know that i was addicted to adderall at the time and pounding out all sorts of manic nonsense. i remember living on the validation of comments (and at the time, there were lots of comments. not so much anymore, but that’s another story). i got critical comments only rarely, and they were the type that i admired -- readers without judgment thinking through the story, reacting to it earnestly. i made some of my best friends because they left long, critical comments on my work. sometimes they didn’t like it, sometimes they did, but ultimately, they were engaged, and that’s what counted.

i remember my first policing-type comment, i think at the start of all the purity nonsense. it was a destiel fic, and someone very angrily told me i should tag my bottom!cas because it was triggering. i’ve thought about that comment a lot over the years. top/bottom discourse is nothing new, but to say that bottom castiel is triggering? that was ridiculous. but then i realized -- there was a writer in fandom at the time i won’t name, who was known for being extremely sensitive (for bottom!cas especially, which they found triggering), and their very dedicated following offered fic that was safe for their fave to read. i have nothing against this person at all. they were not part of the purity discourse, they were up front about their sensitive nature, and as far as i knew (i believe i met them at a con once?) they were very kind.

but that commenter had been clearly influenced by this person and believed that a specific fictional character receiving anal sex from another specific fictional character was actual, real triggering content, and it was my obligation as a writer to tag for it. which i did, because i felt bad, and i was baffled by that request. at the time, i wanted more than anything to be liked, and conformed wherever i could. if i got such a request now, i would ignore it because it was rudely written and honestly kind of bonkers. i’d happily add a tag for something i may have missed, or even something i’d never considered before, but there’s no reason a person can’t make that request politely.

this situation isn’t about purity discourse proper (the commenter didn’t tell me not to write the fic, and it had nothing to do with morality), but it’s the earliest example i can think of where the process of policing had occurred: a person of influence on tumblr affected their follower’s thinking, and that follower felt entitled to command another writer to conform to that ideology.

i could be completely wrong about making these connections. maybe that commenter truly believed bottom!cas was a legitimate widespread trauma. they did not say the fic was triggering to them, but that it might be to some other people, in the same way purity police say “think of the CHILDREN” when in fact they don’t give a fuck about children at all.

after destiel i moved to stucky, which was, at the time, a juggernaut ship where anyone could write anything. this was also the time when the term “cinnamon roll” became incredibly popular, circa 2015. it was a fun and seemingly innocuous meme, but it positioned the ideas of “purity” and “wholesomeness” in sharp relief, and cemented these ideas by beginning to give it a distinct vocabulary. “trash” was pitched as its opposite. stucky is where i first came into contact with “antis.” in destiel, there had been ship wars, sure, but it was of a different flavor than antis. destiel vs wincest wasn’t about morality in 2014. it was about everything but.

in stucky in 2015, however, the disk horse was running rampant. the MCU had a sub-section of fandom called HTP (hydra trash party) in which steve and/or bucky have dubious or nonconsensual relations with various or many members of hydra. this is the first time i remember being aware of morality becoming a cornerstone of shipping. HTP was loathed by purity police. by the time i wrote a stucky bdsm au, i’d accumulated multiple nasty anons, rude comments from entitled readers, and other nonsense that all said the same thing: your filth is not welcome here in our space of purity. go away.

but the release of the force awakens is what really turned the tide. TFA offered three major ships: stormpilot (as it was called at the time, now finnpoe), reylo, and kylux. the fandom that developed around the sequels was firmly divided. franzeska wrote an amazing meta about this phenomenon which gives some insight into the seeds of purity policing. in short, stormpilot should have been the primary pairing of the sequels, but instead many of the badwrong writers from other fandoms (and HTP specifically, which was how i entered the fandom) flocked to the blank slate of kylux.

it took a long time for the ship to gain traction. a friend told me that kylux had started with angry star wars racists who hated that there was diversity in the sequel trilogy. and i told them no, i was there, there were twelve of us and a cornchip, and all we cared about was the dirty/darkly comedic potential of these two ridiculous villain characters in one of the biggest franchises of all time. it wasn’t that complicated. i don’t mean to dismiss the discussion of race in fandom; i think it’s important to acknowledge that racism, as franzeska describes far better than i can, plays a huge part in fandom, particularly in star wars, and it’s an important and ongoing discussion to be having, especially given what kelly marie tran has gone through, and how it affected (presumably) rose tico’s extremely limited presence in TROS.

the early fics of kylux weren’t particularly taboo. they were post-TFA hurt/comfort mostly, then slowly the bdsm and power dynamics crept in. those of us who wanted to get away from purity discourse had finally found a new home. for a while. 2016 was the golden era of kylux. we were all very happy.

i remember talking to a friend about how there were certain things i couldn’t write in certain ships. being from ye olden days of fandom, she was appalled by this idea, and told me i could write anything for any ship i wanted, wasn’t that was the whole point of transformative works? and i agreed! but i tried to explain, if you post badwrong for a fandom of purity police, you’re going to, at best, get dogpiled in your comments/inbox. at worse they will find you, call your employer, and try to ruin your life. people will tell you to kill yourself. they’ll report your tumblr and try to get your blog shut down. there are real-life, harrowing consequences to writing taboo fic, and many who write fic as a hobby don’t have the emotional energy to field these risks.

around this time, discord became popular, which offered a private space for badwrong writers to congregate. i had started grad school and didn’t have much time to write fic. metoo was happening. tromp got elected. kylux was slowly turning mainstream so a lot of us turned our attention to gradence in fantastic beasts. some went on to hannibal and other fandoms that hadn’t yet caught the attention of purity police (but it was, as it is now, just a matter of time). kylux, i feel, was specifically decimated by a single fan creator, who was like a police chief. they would get wind of someone writing underage or noncon and write a call-out post about them, and that writer/artist would get pitchforked. a few times, my comments or posts got screencapped, and posts were written urging people to stop reading my works because of how heinously immoral i was. this happened to several of my friends too.

the great tumblr tittyban of 2017 happened, which only added fuel to the fire and further legitimized the purity movement. i shifted hesitantly to the 100 fandom, which seemed small in comparison to supernatural, marvel, and star wars. i thought it was a chill place. i was wrong; it was just as toxic as other fandoms. but i also didn’t care anymore, and i appreciated that i was mostly left alone. more importantly, i found a lot of support from other people who were as tired of the purity as i was, and @the100kinkmeme was reborn.

the state of things is pretty abysmal. there are some really amazing writers out there writing under multiple sock accounts, keeping their fandom identities shattered so as not to call attention to themselves. as much as i understand why writers do that, and i respect that decision, i also think it’s sad. it deprives readers the chance to read that author’s other works. it limits the sense of community and our ability to make friends. it fractures the future of the genre.

what’s most important to acknowledge is that none of this is happening solely in fandom. i went to a writers’ conference where 2 of 3 panels were about the history of moral policing and censorship in art. it is worth noting that of the 40-ish visiting writers on faculty, only one (1) was a woman of color (jaimaica kincaid). naturally, older rich white people who have spent their life in the arts are all about death of the author, separation of art and artist. they’re on the total opposite side of purity police, and they won’t acknowledge at all that racism and sexism are a problem in the creative world. they don’t have any nuance on the discussion, or modern perspectives in light of metoo or popular culture.

this went on longer than i anticipated. i neglected to mention YFIP (your fave is problematic) an old blog that started the idea of call-out culture by pulling receipts on celebrities, and how call-out culture led to cancel culture, which also aided in the purity disk horse. i think a lot can be said about how some of this stuff is genuinely good (metoo and holding men accountable for their bullshit) while also being profoundly toxic (punishing criminals via mob mentality, ruining their careers and livelihoods through social media, rather than giving them their due process in court. i understand it -- the judicial system is built by the hands of the very predators we seek to condemn, but still. the jury of the internet is never a fair trial).

if you want to read more, my tag is tsatp (the sacred and the profane). i’m sure i’ve left out a lot, but i can only speak to my experience. i think it would be good if people would share their experience dealing with purity policing, too, so we might get a cohesive timeline in place. feel free to reblog and add your story.

#tsatp #my fic #Anonymous

510 notes · View notes