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#We haven't seen it yet
thesuperheroesnetwork · 10 months
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Texts From Superheroes
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andthebeanstalk · 11 months
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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uozlulu · 10 months
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Apparently there’s a coyote in our area. That explains why the deer haven’t been leaving their babies here this year
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ineffablelvrs · 9 months
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me when the slowburn is slowburning (im perfectly normal about it tho) (<- lying)
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nuclearanomaly · 11 months
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“I can’t offer much in the way of entertainment”
> Are you sure about that?
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vaguely-concerned · 1 month
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there are a lot of daddy issues to go around on DS9 in general, but odo, bashir and garak are really in their own special little fucked up 'what am I but wrought in my father's image' club
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cottoncandysprite · 9 months
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So theres this like gruff 30 year old line cook guy at my work who i never talk to bc I'm on register but every few weeks I'll find out he has the exact same taste in tv/movies as i do which is wild??? Like a few weeks ago he was excitedly telling everyone he could about Nimona and how he found it randomly and loved it and wants a sequel and then today he came up to me all nervous and was like "hey i overheard you say you like vampires, idk if you've even heard of it but have you seen what we do in the shadows?" And reader I about lost my mind
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politemagic · 14 days
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have we talked about this video yet??? because mr. token the fourth was FEELING himself during the summoning 🖤
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destiel-wings · 1 year
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Friendly reminder that this was Dean's first smile in heaven. Not when he saw Bobby, not when he told him about his mother or father, Dean's FIRST SMILE in heaven was when he heard Cas was there. That's when he finally showed any happiness™ at all
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bigfatbreak · 1 year
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So first off, awesome work with Feralnette! Seriously, the work you do with these characters is so impressive, and you've officially created my favorite version of Felix in the entire fandom. And secondly, what does Felix Culpa think about Felix Fathom overall? I imagine most of the time it's just "Who is this tiny gremlin child," but then you get to the part where he sold Gabriel all of the Miraculouses while also betraying Ladybug and keeping Gabe's identity secret and, well...
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raccoons are known for preparing their meals. better run, Fathoms
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rocks-in-space · 18 days
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I absolutely loved how tense the scenes with Ame at the North Pole felt! It reminded me a lot of her conversation with Orima, where any misstep or stray word could have disastrous (or deadly) consequences. Ame/Erika killed it both times, but it's very nerve-racking to be heading into a whole conclave of witch interactions (as cool as Indri was, it felt clear that their conversation only went as well as it did because Ame is walking the tightrope masterfully so far). Everyone is doing such a great job making you really feel how perilous and significant a task this is for Ame.
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solarmorrigan · 3 months
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Hands Where I Can See Them, Part 12 (End!)
Pt 1 | Pt 2 | Pt 3 | Pt 4 | Pt 5 | Pt 6 | Pt 7 | Pt 8 | Pt 9 | Pt 10 | Pt 11 | Ao3
[Warning for brief references to sex; nothing explicit happens]
-
For the first time in a long time, Steve wakes slowly.
His alarm isn’t blaring at him and neither is his brain; it’s quiet, and the room is filled with morning sun, and Steve is warm, and comfortable, and still a little muzzy with the heavy sort of sleep that usually only comes to him when he’s physically exhausted or feeling safe (usually the former).
He blinks at the blurry mess of color that is his wallpaper and tries to remember what day it is, tries to will himself to get up, because he’s sure there’s something he’s supposed to be doing, but it’s hard. He’s so comfortable. He turns his face further into his pillow, pressing in where it’s warm and firm and– breathing.
Steve sits up.
Beside him, Eddie is still asleep, lying sprawled across the mattress with one arm flung half over the side and the other stretched out where it had been curled around Steve’s back before Steve pulled away. There’s a red mark on his chest where Steve’s head had been resting, and he’s sure there’s a corresponding splotch of red on his cheek.
As the sleepy fog finally lifts from his brain, the previous night filters back in, and Steve can’t help the smile that follows. He shifts a little just to feel the pleasurable ache in his muscles, to feel the warmth of the cocoon of sheets around them, to feel the way the mattress dips beneath the weight of a second body, and sighs contentedly.
He’s just considering lying back down when Eddie groans, a drowsy frown pulling at his face.
“Where’d you go?” he asks, eyes still closed (at least, Steve’s sure that’s what he means to ask; it comes out a little more like “Whrd y’go?”, and he’s pleased that his ability to decipher Eddie’s half-awake mumbling hasn’t suffered in its absence of use).
“I didn’t go anywhere, I’m right here,” Steve says, laying his palm over Eddie’s chest and running his thumb along the ridge of his collarbone.
Eddie hums, bringing his hand up from over the edge of the bed to place it over Steve’s. “‘s too early to be awake,” he mutters, a little more coherent this time. “Come back.”
“It’s not even that early. It’s…” Steve ducks and squints a little to bring his alarm clock into focus, everything still a little blurry without his contact lenses in. “Holy shit, it’s past ten.”
“See? Early.” Eddie reaches up with his free hand to pat around for a hold on Steve’s arm so he can tug at him. “Lay back down.”
“I never sleep this late, what the hell,” Steve mutters, and Eddie finally opens his eyes, giving Steve a grin that’s equal parts sleepy and self-satisfied.
“Wore you out, didn’t I?” he asks.
“Oh, yeah, I’m exhausted,” Steve deadpans, before proceeding to flop back down onto Eddie’s chest, smirking at the little ‘oof’ he earns. “I don’t know if I can even move. Hope you don’t have to pee anytime soon.”
Eddie shrugs. “Eh, if I do, it’s your bed, not mine.”
“Ew. Dude.” Steve props himself back up on his elbow in order to wrinkle his nose at Eddie.
“You’re the one who brought it up,” Eddie says with a smirk, and – shit, Steve’s really missed this.
Eddie is one of the only people in the world Steve feels like he can completely be himself around. He’s second only to Robin (everyone will always be second to Robin, that’s just a given), and that’s what had devastated Steve most when he’d heard what Eddie had to say about their relationship. He thought he’d let Eddie see all of him, and Eddie hadn’t seen anything worth wanting.
Worth loving.
But that, apparently, hadn’t quite been the case.
“Hey,” Eddie calls Steve’s attention back, picking his hand up off his chest to press a kiss to the back of it. “Where’d you go?”
No, that hadn’t been the case at all.
Steve shakes his head. “Nowhere,” he promises. “I’m right here.”
He leans down for a kiss, and Eddie pulls their combined hands aside to meet it, bringing his free hand up to curl into Steve’s hair, cradling the back of his head.
It isn’t as though all the hurt has healed – all of Steve’s doubts and insecurities haven’t magically disappeared. As much as Steve might wish, it isn’t as though the last several weeks never happened. They can’t change any of that now, but Eddie’s honesty, his openness– openness from them both will take them a long way forward.
The idea still sits as a bit new to Steve: honesty. He’s used to people saying one thing and doing another. He’s used to being expected to decipher convoluted social cues and having to intuit unspoken messages. He’s used to not being allowed to ask for what he wants and just accepting whatever he’s given.
This, he thinks, will be better.
The kiss doesn’t end so much as it slides into another, and another, until Eddie and Steve have rolled to their sides, legs tangled together beneath the blankets, mouths sliding against one another, lazy and unhurried. There’s a hint of heat beneath their movements, something that could spark into more if they let it, but Steve is content with just this for now. There will always be time for more later.
Eddie hums deep in his chest when the kisses trail to an end, voice still warm and sleep-rough, and Steve rests his forehead against Eddie’s, unwilling to go too far away just yet.
“Good morning,” Steve says when Eddie opens his eyes again, and he can feel the puff of Eddie’s sigh against his lips.
“Don’t say that,” Eddie whines. “If you say that, we have to get up.”
Steve gives a little laugh. “We can’t stay in bed all day, Eddie.”
“Sure we can,” Eddie drawls, pushing at Steve’s shoulder until he takes the hint and rolls onto his back, only to have Eddie lay down on top of him, pressing him into the mattress. “In fact, I think that’s a great idea.”
“Do you seriously have no other plans for the day?” Steve asks, as if he has any pressing engagements himself.
Eddie presses a kiss to the base of Steve’s throat, humming thoughtfully. “Maybe one or two,” he says, trailing a few more kisses up the side of Steve’s neck.
“Besides that,” Steve huffs, though he makes no move to stop Eddie when his hand comes to rest on the waist of Steve’s pajama pants.
“What am I, an event planner?” Eddie asks, but he does pull away from Steve’s neck with a petulant (and largely exaggerated) sigh. “Fine. How about we stay in bed most of the day and then… we can go back to mine for dinner?”
Steve looks up at Eddie, brows drawing together as he thinks. “What’s at yours that we’d need for dinner?”
Eddie shrugs. “Nothing, really. It’s just been a while,” he says quietly.
And– well, it has. Eddie’s trailer used to be one of the places Steve had felt most comfortable, but he hasn’t spent more than a few minutes there in passing since he’d emptied it of his things. He misses it there – how warm and welcoming it always was, how he’d felt like he belonged there.
What if he goes back now and it’s changed? What if he feels as out of place there now as he does in his own house?
He must spend a moment too long thinking about it, because Eddie begins to backpedal.
“But if you don’t want to, we totally don’t have to, we can just–”
“No,” Steve cuts in. “Let’s go to yours for dinner.”
A slow-growing smile pulls across Eddie’s face, and Steve can tell he’s fighting the urge to duck and hide it.
“Wayne misses you, y’know,” Eddie says, and now it’s Steve who’s ducking away from eye contact.
“Misses my cooking, I bet,” he jokes, but Eddie shakes his head.
“Misses you. He does like you, Steve. He asked where you were, after– after everything,” Eddie says, and Steve isn’t sure what the hell he’s supposed to say to that, or if he even can speak around the sudden, weird choke of emotion in his throat. Eddie, as if he can sense his dilemma, saves Steve from having to respond. “He misses your cooking too, though, let’s be real. He had the audacity to tell me the other day that my mac and cheese isn’t as good as yours. It was your recipe!”
Steve laughs, and Eddie really plays up the offense.
“And you know the worst part? He was right,” Eddie laments. “It’s the same recipe, how does that even work?”
“So, what I’m hearing is that you want me to come to your house and cook you dinner,” Steve teases, smirking up at Eddie.
Eddie subsides just a little, packing away his theatrical energy in order to smile back down at Steve. “I just want you to come over. I’ll order dinner if you want. Hell, I’ll submit myself to public ridicule and try cooking for you again.” He cups Steve’s cheek in one hand and leans in to kiss him gently. “Whatever you want, Steve, I’m there.”
“Yeah?” Steve asks, quiet, almost breathless with the depth of Eddie’s promise.
“Yeah,” Eddie answers, his smile as ridiculous and smitten as the look on Steve’s own face must be. “I’m right here with you.”
And Steve decides he likes the sound of that. He likes it very much.
-
Thank you to everyone who gently threatened me encouraged me to continue the first part of this story, it's been so fun to write and to see everyone interact with! You've all been very kind, and I hope the ending satisfies <3
Tag list: @bushbees @y0urnewstepp4r3nt @gleek4twd @hellfireone @westifer-dead @anne-bennett-cosplayer @starman-jpg @mugloversonly @swimmingbirdrunningrock @alycatavatar @y4r3luv @rhapsodyinalto @vinteraltus @lilpomelito @tillystealeaves @noctxrn-e @pearynice @giverobinagfbrigade @novacorpsrecruit @hotluncheddie @strangersteddierthings @alongcomesaspider @theheadlessphilosopher @jettestar @rajumat @garden-of-gay @jamieweasley13 @dam28lh @oldwitcheshat @lololol-1234 @perfectlysensiblenonsense @salty-h0e @r0binscript @mavernanche @back2beesness @a-lovely-craziness @paintsplatteredandimperfect @redbullgivescaswings @emmabubbles @heartstarstar-blog @thesuninyaface @thatonebisexualman @fruitandbubbles @erinharvelle @m-owo-n @theystoodandplayedwithsilence @surroundedbyconfusion @luthienstormblessed @3ldr1tchang3l @pansexuality-activated
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inverted-writes-stuff · 9 months
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He can't say god...
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see-arcane · 2 years
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The harrowing and heartfelt part 2 to this. Congratulations to the century-old sweethearts. 💖
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charlesoberonn · 8 months
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revvethasmythh · 16 days
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listen, do think sam will pull out an old character to replace fcg? not particularly. THAT SAID: if he were, I think it should be Mrs. Veth Brenatto. She would provide the party with some of the most unhinged mothering techniques in the wake of a loss. a mix of genuine love and care and just so much yelling and weird pep talks. She'd openly beef with Liliana for being a bad mother. She'd practice Arcane Trickster spells and bond over a love of fire with Fearne. whatever dynamic she'd have with chetney would single-handedly be enough to alienate the entire rest of the party. she even already has connections with Vilya/Keyleth. we don't always get what we want, but sometimes we get what we need and I think what we need is the wildest halfling this side of Wildemount
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