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im-not-buying-it-ether · 10 months

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How to Marvelously piss off a Bat: A Guide by Billy Batson, Pt 1

Bruce: Hint at anything and everything prophetic, alternate futures or timelines where something goes horribly wrong. The sheer amount of stress will piss him off, weather its true or not.

Ex:

Billy: Well, this could be worse…

Batman: Superman is flinging himself into buildings high on fear gas, how does this get any worse chum?

Billy: Well hes not murdering his wife or lasering my eyes out right now so we’re definitely in the better timeline

Bruce: he’s not What now

Dick: Midair super-speed pokes. The slightest jab at the side, ankle, or even knuckle mid leap or drive freaks him out and leaves him fumbling a lot.

Ex:

Nightwing, happily summersaulting off buildings preparing to grapple to another mid flip: It’s a bird, its a plane, its the Lord Gray-

Captain Marvel, gaining righteous revenge for his bowl of marshmallow only lucky charms: (Pokes the back of his right knee) bop

Nightwing, now clutching his right knee 57 stories up: so-IIIIIEEEEEE

Jason: Stick a plunger on that crome dome of a helmet, bonus anger points if its during a meeting or in front of people he’s trying to intimidate

Ex:

The Red Hood, scourge of Gothams criminal underworld, in a meeting with his lieutenants: Next thing on our agenda-

The Red Hood, now with 3 plungers stuck to his helmet: We- what the hell

The Hoodlum from the warehouse rafters: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR SELLING ME OUT TO BATMAN JERK FACE!!!

Hood, taking a plunger off and pointing it at Hoodlum: I KNOW 17 WAYS TO KILL YOU WITH THIS THING YOU LITTLE SHIT, SO YOU’VE GOT 17 SECONDS TO RUN!!

Tim: Mutter something sounding like a vague hex within his proximity, he’ll think you cursed him if he knows you’re petty enough. Basically a magical non-magical psych out

Ex:

Tim, very tired: I am not helping you beat Damians score on Cheese Viking Billy, that goblin will know you cheated and then its my head on the same stick as yours.

Billy, muttering under his breath while walking away: oi karpoí tou kópou sou na xekinísoun sto stóma sou (may the fruits of your labor sour in your mouth)

Tim, understanding the Greek and that billy has ties to Greek gods and magic: *panik*

@thefantasmarex

#Marvelous Bats au #shazam #billy batson #dc #dc captain marvel #captain marvel dc #batman #shitposting #shitpost #///////#Solomon: and too you billy batson my infinite wisdom. may futures unseen and horrors avoided be clear to your eyes #Billy: thanks. i hate it #Billy’s favorite way to bug bruce is to validate his paranoia without context #super speed shenanigan’s #dick always save himself but its still funny #Jason told Bruce billy snagged a batarang for Freddy #Bruce was impressed he got pickpocketed but also disappointed billy didnt just ask for one #Jason’s guys think he just threatened his own kids life after he somehow got on Batman’s radar #goon1: how did hoodlum piss of the bat? goon2: i dunno man but it had to be bad to get him the boss to rat his kid out #Red hood as he’s attaching a sidecar to his bike: HES NOT MY DAMN KID #goon2: see man?! goon1: must’a been reel bad #Tim’s just going through it #the lack of sleep doesnt help the curse nonsense

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aru-art · 8 months

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long time no tma, here's the archival gang in my friends' & i's outfits :]

#i think about that tag often #the magnus archives #tma #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #jon sims #gerry keay #gerry delano #gerard keay #<- always feels evil to tag the last one #and yeah ill always include him in everything i draw thank u for asking #tim stoker #timothy stoker #sasha james #my art #2023 #i finished s4 and just started s5 the other day so u can imagine the horrors im going through atm #in my heart and soul ps sasha is also demi and theyre all very poly but tim especially #i wanted to do more but drawing sm fullbodies killed me

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batcavescolony · 1 year

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Jason *dying his hair black*: you know I started dying my hair before Robin.

Dick: yeah why?

Jason: their's like five red heads in Gotham and I knew as a kid for a fact that one was Ivy and one was Riddler. Then I became Robin to find out the other was Batgirl/Barbra and finally Kate Batman's cousin who's now Batwoman-

Dick: Yeah Red Heads in Gotham are either heroes or villains

Jason: -yeah so I didn't want to draw attention to myself.

Dick: ...Jay?

Jason: what?

Dick: I don't think it worked you've been a hero, villain and now anti-hero.

Jason: ...

Dick:

Jason *slams down color brush*: FUCK

#Do i hate the Jason was forced tk dye his hair to look like dick storyline. yes. do i find it funny that he had red hair in gotham and #became a villian hero anit hero? yes. like what is red hair in gotham equilivent of the anime mc dyed hair trope #plus jason in his og og back story where he was an acrobat in the circus he was blonde then black hair in his new og back story #red in this bs take. im pretty sure titans hes got brown hair. hes gone through the whole hair spectrum. its so stupid. i love it #comics #dc comics #robin #tim drake #batman #bruce wayne #red robin #dick grayson #jason todd #nightwing #poison ivy #the riddler #sometimes hes got red hair just go with it its 3am where i am #barbra gordon #kate kane #incorect batfam #batfam #batfamily #ill say it aga i LOTHE the `bruce made jason dye his hair story line` its stupid and i dont respect it. but its funny so lol #if you see spelling mistakes NO YOU DONT again its 3am ill fix in the morning

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fishfission-dc · 1 year

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Batfamily Powerpoint Night! (Part 8: Duke)

<<Part 7: Damian | Part 9: Barbara >>

[Masterlist]

Duke: My turn!

Bruce: Finally I can count on something normal.

Bruce: [migraine noises]

Dick: I feel like this information and Damian is a bad combination.

Damian: Grayson, I am offended you assume I need lessons from Duke on how to lead troops

Tim: You should bring the beard back Bruce.

Steph: Yeah your amnesia era was kind of a slay

Barbara: My dad’s Batman era was not a slay

Jason: Well maybe slay in a different sense-

Duke: That’s all behind us we’re moving on!

Bruce: I don’t think-

Jason: Bruce sit down and don’t pretend like this isn’t exactly what you did to form your child gang

Bruce: I don’t-

Steph: Look into our eyes, Bruce, and tell us, your crimefighting children, that you did not start a child gang

Bruce: Hn.

Tim: That’s what I thought.

Steph, Barbara, Cass: [hysterical laughter]

[talking over each other]

Dick: That is not what I looked like!

Jason: I looked so much cooler as Robin than that!

Tim: I looked cooler because I had pants, I can’t speak for you two.

Damian: My costume has been improved vastly since that iteration.

Steph: Alright, traffic cones.

Duke: Okay really not the point

Barbara: Seems like this step should’ve come before the outfits?

Duke: It was my first time starting a gang let me live

Jason: Shouldn’t “training” have been part of-

Duke: This is not open for criticism thank you

Steph: Yeah only Bruce can critique Duke’s child-gang leader skills as a fellow child-gang leader

Bruce: [noises of general regret]

Bruce: Why does something absurd always happen with you guys when I’m gone

Tim: Maybe because nobody in this house knows how to cope with loss or something I don’t know

Dick: Also it gets so much worse Bruce

Dick: I mean that wasn’t exactly your fault

Jason: Cop Batman didn’t seem to agree

Barbara: [sighs]

[talking over each other]

Jason: Woah woah woah

Tim: Hired??? You did not hire-

Damian: I did not say that?

Jason: Also I don’t remember being asked nicely I remember saving your a-

Dick: ‘Specialist’ sounds pretty cool and professional thank you Duke :)

Steph: Is that Damian in a Court of O-

Damian: The situation was resolved I am fine now

Tim: “Beat up some bird guys”

Jason: I mean besides the imprisonment and attack on a school and Dick leaving us in the dust for a hot second there that’s basically what happened

Dick: I did not-

Bruce: Excuse me?

Duke: Don’t worry about it :)

Tim: That’s n-

Cass: [signing] The Court of Owls is still-

Damian: That is libel

Steph: What a cute picture

Jason: Weren’t there casualti-

Duke: I have no idea what you’re talking about everything was fine in the end and everything is good!

Bruce: I am... so worried about all of you

Barbara: Well anyway let’s keep that streak going, it’s my turn. >:)

<<Part 7: Damian | Part 9: Barbara >>

[Masterlist]

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noxcheshire · 27 days

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HOT TAKE

But I like the idea of the phantom world being reincarnated into very unexpected people.

Like I still love the idea of Danny being Martha or Thomas.

Or Dani being another clone, or her being Damian, and Sam being Poison Ivy and or Martha, etc.

But I also like the unhinged nonsense of Sam being a clone in the dc world — ideally Kon, and Dani (or Dan) being Bruce, while Vlad is gasp Thomas Wayne.

HEAR ME OUT

JUST HEAR ME OUT

I just think the idea of Danny finding out that in an alternate world he married a nicer and age appropriate Vlad and had the son the guy has been demanding for so long in their world is hilarious.

The absolute mental breakdown that boy will go through: this is my son, and I love him, look at him go being a hero and kicking ass, but holy fucking Ancients above I fucked VLAD —

And on the other hand, can you imagine Bruce’s reaction? To his alternate mom being a sassy teenage boy, his alternate dad being an older guy ‘preying’ on this kid that absolutely HATES the guy, and being an absolute creep while his alt self **gestures to your choosing** is either a tiny girl menace or the biggest and meanest growling ghost that is BARELY tolerating being in the same space as the living.

But they also hate his alternate dad and would punch him into next week with Mom! Danny.

This man will being going THROUGH IT.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #danny phantom #dp x dc crossover #danny fenton #dp x dc prompt #batman #I’m kinda leaning into Tucker being Starfire #I just think he deserves to blast green powers #and also be the hottest girl he’s ever seen #I’m thinking maybe Jack Fenton is Dick Greyson #still debating on the others BUT DO YOU SEE MY VISION?#DO YOU SEE WHAT IM PUTTING DOWN?#GIVE THE ENTIRE DP SIDE OF THEIR UNIVERSE TRAUMA by seeing what they could be in an alternate world of themselves #Danny is going through it too #Vlad is not seeing the picture outside of the absolute joy he has at finally having a son that is just like Danny but without the clones #Vlad: finally! I have a son! And he has your blood Daniel!#Bruce: oh my god my dad is a creep #Sam judging Kon’s everything: you’re on thin fucking ice #she likes his fit but will fist fight him over what he eats and how he acts with his crush #Either Tim is Paulina or Valarie #Sam is judging Kon’s choices

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minty364 · 4 months

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DPXDC Prompt #131

Danny started his new job at Wayne industries today and he was a little nervous about messing up. His adopted family the Fentons kicked him out after finding out he was Phantom. Danny was a little disappointed but it was better than how he thought they’d react. He knew he had other family and from what little cryptic Clockwork told him they lived in Gotham.

He gets to his new bosses office and knocks on his door. When he’s told to come in Danny does so but then comes face to face by what he can only assume is his twin and the CEO of the company, Tim Drake. Danny had about 5 seconds before he found himself pinned to the floor.

#dp x dc prompt #dp x dc #dc x dp #danny fenton #danny phantom #writing prompt #poor danny #Danny gets abandoned by the Fentons #Kicked out of the home tw #Danny and Tim are twins #Danny works at Wayne Tech #The Drakes just wanted 1 kid to be their heir so they give Danny up for adoption #Tim knew this after going through records after his parents died #Tim knows he had a twin but cloning seems more likely to him #all my prompts are free to use #my asks are open

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zahri-melitor · 11 months

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Tim’s life slogan.

#dc #z canon read throughs #tim drake #oh Tim #the burden of evidence now required to convince Tim someone is permanently dead is ridiculous #and he’s JUST about to go into Resurrection of Ra’s Al Ghul

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loktauri · 2 months

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Tma au where nothing is wrong ever and Jon gets to pet as many cats as he likes

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #tim stoker #sasha james #its just an office comedy at this point #idk the horrors are still there but now it's the horrors of genuinely needing a masters for archival sciences #BE SO FR what the hells is the point of a masters #listen this is my gripe about the educational ladder you have to climb in order to even think about going to library sciences #and getting some sort of guaranteed work off it #oh martin got through alright by lying but he got real lucky with this boss being a literal cult leader #but nooooo I have to finish my bachelors and get another 30k or so in debt BAR student finance #as if med school isnt already a scam!!!#and furthermore--#oh old art tag

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puppetmaster13u · 15 days

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Prompt 290

Ghosts have the habit of taking names of those they’ve defeated. Not in spars or play-fights of course, and one has to actually be an adult for the instinct to hit, but it happens. It happens far more often than one would think.

Jason? Actually has no clue when he comes back to the living why he stole one of the Joker’s older names, nor why the Pit goes so angry when he thinks about Robin- HisTitleHisFraidNameFromFamily-

Now the Pit? Not a baby semi-near the cusp of adulthood, in fact is Very Old even if it’s more hivemind-esque then a full on realms entity. Very offended for the Baby it was gifted, because who takes that from a literal infant?!

Oh! Oh that’s another baby! Hm, change of plans, obviously the baby is also its. Because while adult ghosts trying to forcefully take a Name is a direct challenge? A ghostling- or in this case liminal- doing it is an open invitation for adoption.

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Sentient Lazarus Pit #Jason has no clue what happened either #Tim got kidnapped by Pit Mad Jason and bundled into a nest #At this point Hood’s Merry Men is used to their Boss bundling up kids and helping them detox so they leave him be #Let Liminals & ghosts Purr #Dick & Bruce are so very panicked & tearing through Gotham #Not unlike how Tim’s teammates are freaking out & searching outside Gotham #Meanwhile Tim is just confuzzled as Big Crime Lord curls around him & growls at anyone who so much as opens the door #the Pit: I am such a good parent :)#Later when Jason isn’t actively having Pit Episode (the Pit totally isn’t wanting babies to meet each other)#Jason holding Tim by the armpits audibly confused: You are not one of my brats #Tim who is concussed & has narcolepsy: No shit helmet-man but let me go back to sleep it’s comfy

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redhoodinternaldialectical · 4 months

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It will never stop being funny to me that the Titan's Tower incident between Jason and Tim happened right after fucking Jericho did the exact same thing but was way, WAY scarier about it.

JERICHO repeatedly attacks them, endangers civilians, possesses multiple people, is out of his head with rage and sorrow at feeling expendable and feeling like teen vigilantism was what got him and Donna killed. Hell he even shoots Bart through the leg, which fucks him up so bad he has to go through unanesthetized surgery and that trauma prompts a whole ass character growth spurt! Jericho both while possessing Slade and when they fight him in Raven's mind trap thing is like seriously bad news! He's playing for keeps and intent on really hurting them! It takes a full team effort over multiple comics to trap the guy

Then fucking JASON sneaks in ever so carefully, knocks a few of them out, feels a bit bad about even doing that, and has like a waffle house parking lot fist fight with Tim in a party city Robin costume. And what's he do afterwards? He just fucking leaves and never bothers them again! He doesn't wanna kill any of them! He's just a sad wet sack who doesn't know what he's doing with himself

The Teen Titans really do gather around Timmy after their fight lookin at that wall like, "Fucking seriously?? This is the second time this week!"

#Bartholomew Impulse did NOT go through all that just to have us pretend like Jason was an equivalent threat here!#“but he wrote his name in BLOOD” have you people never heard of RED PAINT???#Tim was barely even bleeding #so like... WHOSE BLOOD WOULD IT HAVE BEEN???#I will accept the explanation that Jason blood banked himself for months prior #because that's funny as hell and Jason is def crazy enough for it #but that is simply NOT Timmy's blood!!!!#also like... did Jason Know?#did he know he was gonna be the second resurrected dead kid to do this to this group?#cause I feel like he didn't and that is just so pathetic lmaooo #my poor poor sad wet murder meow meow wasn't even half as effective or murderous as the first guy #jason todd #tim drake #damian's tomfoolery

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aru-art · 9 months

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two-headed calf by laura gilpin

#the magnus archives #tma #michael shelley #michael distortion #gertrude robinson #two-headed calf poem #god what a monster of a project this was to work on. ive never finished a comic before #im so happy its finally done #(/s) please direct any anonymous hatemail for this at my good friend @crestofcethleanns he pitched the idea i just visualised it <3 #also tim (the real one not stoker) (i will never get tired of making this joke) ilysm thanks for being my emotional support #my art #2023 #backgrounds #comics #mag 101 #mag 101 another twist #sorry the quality sucks on mobile #i am by no means a comic artist im just a silly little illustrator #so i didnt know the best way to go about formatting this but liked the idea of scrolling through the drawings :)

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ghost-bxrd · 5 months

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Prompt:

The fight at Titans Tower goes a little bit different.

Jason actively fakes Tim’s death (all hail clone science) after knocking him unconscious and turns the entire place into a veritable scene of crime.

Then he takes Tim and.. honestly, he hasn’t planned that far. But the kid looks like he could use some hugs.

And Tim, upon waking up, promptly goes starry eyed over Jason’s apparent resurrection. And, yeah, fine, he’s not entirely ok with the whole “I faked your death” thing, but his end goal is now to return Jason to the family fold, so it’s fine. Bruce and Dick don’t like him that much anyway, right?

Meanwhile, Bruce and Dick discover the gruesome scene at Titans Tower and their world crashes and burns for the second time.

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crowkip · 3 months

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#tim drake #robin #dc comics #delete later #maybe idk #just havent posted in ages so i figured i should give u all something even if its just scribbs!! <3 #im going through a tim phase rn he’s just my little guy of the month #my art

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hood-ex · 15 days

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The way that I've read a small amount of Dick fics over the past few years, but I'll still be like, "I miss the days when people wrote Dick having an aversion to swallowing pills or having a panic attack when someone insisted he take a pill." Like for all I know that idea could still be well and alive.

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sunny-daze-ahead · 7 months

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Tim Drake: broke something inside me many years ago, and it feels like I just keep shattering there's ice in my blood and fire in my throat and electricity all down my skin Sebastian Ives, barely awake: First of all, that's cryptic, second of all, fucking go to sleep Why the fuck are you awake at 5 am

#not a reblog #sunny's musings #tim drake at unreasonable hours #tim drake #timothy jackson drake-wayne #sebastian ives #this is a real interaction with a friend that happened #I was going through a thing when I realized that my other best friend was basically just sebastian ives but brunette #literally everything else matches up #so #yeah #this is my life now ig #dc #dc comics #batfamily #batfam

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veveisveryuncool · 6 months

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art trade with @starflungwaddledee :]]

been itching to draw morpho dee for a while actually, so he was super fun to experiment with! did a ton of metal and perspective practice, as well tinkering with a new rendering method :D

#UAGSHAH every tim i see him i have to stop and think about him for five minutes straight #hes so tragic and narratively doomed and just 😭😭#fandom loves to put the tiny apple guy through the blender huh #my soul weeps for him 💔 you go fallen hero of heart!! you can do it!!#kirby series #bandana dee #morpho dee #veves ultra cool art #art trade

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