#The Burning Shogun AU | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

prettyboykatsuki · 1 year

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malice of a pretty face | scaramouche (wanderer)

✮ tags ; adapted from genshin canon but not genshin canon, gn!reader, forced marriage but they ally together, role reversal, scaramouche is called bride mostly jokingly, physically smaller than reader, reader has a female concubine in their bed and kisses them / had sex w them, reader is a tyrant ruler type, age gap (scara is 20 ish and reader is like 28), opium usage, raiden shogun is scara's mother who sold him out, political affairs, handjobs + making out 18+

✮ wc ; 3.4k

✮ a/n ; what if i want to be the tyrant emperor for a change huh. what then. also scaramouche is called bride but gender and stuff is whatever in this universe.

some background, this is not genshin techincally. its like adapted to be a royalty au. reader is a recent ruler of their homeland. scaramouche is a raidens son. he didn't get a lot of choice in coming but he has no political power in his homeland

(this is a rewrite of a concept i posted a while ago but i cant find the ask where someone tells me to expand so hope this finds u anon

✮ synopsis ; your "bride" hails from inazuma and comes to you dressed in white, with eyes full of lightning.

A knock on your door snaps you out of your pointless thinking. Your close companion and Royal Advisor clears his throat before addressing you.

“Your bride has been prepared for you,”

“Come in.”

The brown door creaks as it opens, the gold embellishments on either side catching light. The hallway behind is empy but bright. Your advisor stands behind your esteemed guest with a look of mild exasperation. Subtle as it may be, it makes the corner of your lip quirk in amusement. At the door is your betrothed.

Your bride comes to you wrapped in white.

“I’ll leave you too it,” Says your advisor, code for please get along that has you nodding your head. You hum quietly, waving him away. He sighs as he shuts the door, leaving your guest standing at the door awkwardly.

As the rumors have said so many times over, the Raiden Shoguns only heir is strikingly beautiful. Pale thing he is, white as a porcelain doll and nearly half your size. Even in the lowlights of your bedroom, the blurriness of candlelight, you can see the sharpness of his eyes. A signature purple, the color of royalty and trademark of the Inazuman dynasty and bloodline.

For a peace offering, he reeks of defiance. Just standing there with his arms crossed, fists clenched and jaw tight. He looks like he wants to burn the entire palace to the ground where he stands. You’re sure if you picked him apart enough he’d tell you just that. Intel tells you he’s easy to provoke, and for a Prince of his nation - he’s quite the fighter too.

You aren’t sure how much he knows of this by now. Or if he knows that you’ve learned all sorts of things about him.

Most of all, he’s intriguing. Beautiful but prickly and poisonous. You’re captivated by how much he seethes. You tilt your head as your leg up, your back against the wall. You glance briefly at the concubine asleep in your bed, back exposed. Your robe is half-fallen over your shoulder, the bandaging on your chest and shoulder visible.

You take a long inhale of the pipe resting on your bed, lungs filling with opium before you push it. Another cloud of smoke fills the room, relief in your back as you exhale. You tilt your head at him.

“Will you stand there the whole time?” You ask placidly. It angers him even more for a reason you’re unable to discern.

“Why would I get near a belligerent tyrant like you?”

You chuckle. Despite himself, there’s a tinge of anxiety to his protesting. He’s young and on guard. You’re sure your reputation with the Royal Harem has served you no favors, so he must think you’re going to pounce on him.

You shake your head.

“I like to sedate my prey before I eat it. I won’t lay a hand on you.”

Surprised by your deduction, a flush draws on his features. You smile wispily, before another thought crosses your mind. His name dawns on you, Scaramouche you think it was.

“Ah, or is it this that’s troubling you?” You say, gesture vaguely to the naked person in your bed laying comfortably “Should I send her away before we speak?”

Your conversation stirs her. Scaramouche stares on. Instead you glance at the woman before you as she wakes, turning to her side. Barren skin save for jewelry, she runs her hands through her hair as she yawns.

“Oh, Your Highness. Already another round? I hardly got any rest.” She pouts. Her behavior is amusing to you always.

“Not today. My spouse has come to visit, so I’m sending you back to your chambers.” You say smoothly. She pouts, sitting up. The sheets that covered her so thinly have fallen, revealing the rest of her. A set of gold anklets that match with gold necklaces and gold bracelet. She sits up on her knees and wraps her around your neck.

“How cruel,” She whines, rubbing herself against you “How could you abandon when you favor me so much, hm?”

“You’re quite clever aren’t you? Trying to seduce me in front of my lover, and all?”

She pulls back to giggle.

“So you’ve seen through me. I don’t care for being sent away, you know?”

“What would you like as reconciliation?” You say.

“A kiss goodbye,” She replies easily. This time you look to Scaramouche. His face is burning red.

“Is it alright with you?”

He scoffs “As if it matters what I think.”

“I’ve asked you haven’t I?”

“Do as you please.”

You laugh. He says as much but he can't help but stare. He looks embarrassed, albeit you can’t imagine which thing is troubling him so much. It’s entertaining.

You kiss her goodbye as she’s asked, though you know what type of kiss she’s asking for. A deep kiss, the kind where you have to hold her by the nape of her neck. Salacious in nature, where she squirms and holds the front of your robe. You pull away with a laugh, rubbing her lower lip.

“Send my regards to everyone. It might be some time before I visit again.”

“How heartbreaking. I’ll do as you wish, Your Highness.” She stands to her feet, pulling herself out of bed and putting on the clothes left on the floor with a sigh. Her feet pad against the marble floor as she walks away.

She stops to look at Scaramouche before leaving, bowing her head in respect before standing back. She whispers something to him (that turns his face into a blushing mess once more) before patting him on the shoulder gently.

“I’m off,” She says, waving a hand but not looking back. The door clicks back shut a second time, leaving the two of you alone in silence. You take another drag from your pipe.

“Come. Sit.”

He does as you ask this time, stomping with a characteristic frustration that you stop to laugh at internally. He sits on the corner of your mattress, legs crossed. You get to see him up close this time. What delicate features he has, he couldn’t be any older than 21. The white silks he’s dressed in are fine. A thin, lace collar goes up to his throat. A skirt with high slits about the legs and lacy socks to cover the legs. He’s wearing something over it too, draped over his shoulders. You can see the cut-out of his chest. You only glance. Any longer than this and you’re sure he’ll protest.

“What troubles you, my bride?”

He grits his teeth.

“I’m no bride.”

“I know,” You say, without any hesitation “You’re the only filial son of the Great Raiden Shogun. I may be a tyrant, but I am no fool.”

This information surprises him. He wears his emotions on his face, as expected. He’s not gotten so far without being clever. The bounty on his head is insurmountable. There’s a tension in the room, an unspoken heaviness in the air. Quite a fragile thing he is.

“Then this, this marriage - it’s fraudulent isn’t it?” He says, angry. You hum.

“I knew before we wedded. Under the law of Tevyat and in the eyes of the Nation, you are my betrothed.”

He’s catching up to all that you know. You know it all. The rumors of the cold and unyielding Raiden Shogun. The desolate lands of Inazuma, the loss of childhood and the change in the young man. Rumors of the angry Crown Prince and his bleeding heart. How he was sacrificed for power to your hands, for the eternal vision of Inazuma.

Of course you know.

“Then why…if you know about me, then why?”

“The Raiden Shogun offered you to me to get in my good graces. There’s political fairs involved but the simply reason is because I wanted to. You’re easy on the eyes.”

He ignores your flirtatious comment as you expect.

“What are the political affairs?”

“Inazuma wishes to strengthen it’s naval army and a small nation requires resources. Since I’ve only just gained power after killing the Emperor, my position for the throne is destabilized and marriage was the best option to stabilize it again,” You explain, already bored just hearing yourself.

“We don’t gain anything from joining hands with Inazuma as it stands. And plenty of people have vouched desperately for my marriage. The simple answer is because an offer like the only child of the Raiden Shogun, who’s beauty is world-renowned is quite the tempting offer.”

He looks down, away from you and you resist your own laughter.

“I despise you,”

“I know that too. That pretty face of yours doesn’t leave much for imagination. What will you do my dear? Will you run? Cry? Scheme into driving a knife in my heart? Lure me into security and disappear?”

“...You’re personality is quite twisted.”

“I’m curious about the faces you make, that’s all. What will you do, how will you react, how you think. But I do not intend to make you miserable. There’s much to discuss,”

“....Why are you posing as if you’re kind?”

“A caged animal will lash out for it’s freedom,” You say, titting your head to one side “But a looked after one will never bite the hand that feeds.”

“Wouldn’t you be the one closer to an animal with your tendencies?”

“A beast, I hear so often. My point is the same. If I intend to make you even a begrudging ally, I’m not interested in angering you. Nor forcing myself upon you for that matter,” You add the last part intentionally.

“Disgusting,” He says, all while staring at the curve of your neck and your body “Really,”

“I do not intend to force you, but if you’re so against the idea - I think it’d only be fair I’m allowed to see my concubines. It’s your choice.”

He frowns at your explanation. You grin.

“Are you so troubled by it? Would you prefer I only long for you?”

“D-don’t word it like that.” He says, a shake in his voice. You hum, taking a long drag from your pipe.

“Maybe you’re the sentimental type? A lover from the homeland? Or perhaps, you’re just too inexperienced to be confident?”

You can see the exciting look on his face. That type of shame that very few nobles wear. Most of them degenerates, or liars. Prim and properly deceitful. You look at Scaramouche’s honest face and feel something between your legs. How much he wishes to admonish you, or even push you away but is all too curious to refuse. An expression like that is a jewel, a diamond waiting for polish.

You have to chip around it, bit by bit. Too much force and you’ll scratch his beautiful surface, you only pull at him gently. Tease him so tenderly he can’t scurry off.

“Shut up. You know nothing about me,”

“If you’re unsure, you can always try. I can teach you much easier than most,” You say. You wonder if he’ll call your bluff. But he doesn’t. He sits and folds his hands in your lap. He reminds you a bit of those Glaze Lily’s all the way from Liyue. Cold and blue and eye-catching.

Scaramouche does not call your bluff. He shifts to cover his legs and something is overwhelmed inside you. You hold your breath a little. So skittish.

“There’s nowhere for me to return to,” He says first, surprising you, a bitterness in his tone that pleases you “It’s not like I want to stay here or be your ally. But returning to a place that has discarded me is even more disgusting.”

“So we’re allies for now. Understood,” You say, glancing at him “Then, are you giving me permission to sleep with you?”

His eyes widen, face reddening to an impossible degree. A belly laugh leaves you. What a simple person in the end.

“You―W-we have to consummate the marriage, don’t we? A-and if I stay here, I’ll have power. Leaving it open means it’ll be nullified and―”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me. If you feel too embarrassed about your desires, you may spread rumors about simply quelling my appetite,” You say with a mild expression, intending it with sincerity “It’d be a shame to do nothing when you’ve dressed up so nicely for your arrival. Come closer,”

Your comment must bother him, but he resigns himself. He does as he’s asked, slowly getting on his knees and crawling towards you. His eyes are erratic, skin flush. He’s simply sitting across from you and he can’t look at you directly. You’re a little astonished by the extent of his innocence, especially with all the violent rumors around him. You blow out the flame of your pipe, and lean to one side away from you.

Then you stretch your legs out, placing your hands gently on his waist so he doesn’t startle. You manuever so he’s stradling you, his knees on either side of your thigh. Looking at him closely is exciting. There’s makeup on his face. Crushed pink pigment smeared on his lip and smoothed with oil and eyes lined with something dark. You reach your hand up to cup his face, and he manages not to flinch.

Though you can hear his heart beat. It’s tremendously loud. Nervous.

“Relax, I won’t eat you, for now. I’ll take take responsibility. Have you kissed anyone?”

“S-so what if I haven’t?”

“We’ll start there. Close your eyes and follow me.”

He listens obediently again, closing his eyes. His hands are clenched over his knee. You grab them and let them rest over your shoulders before sneaking your hand to the side of his face. You lean in to kiss him gently, his skin soft. He smells like lavender and oats, the hairs on his nape brushing against your fingers delicately. His lips are soft as you start slowly, opening your mouth just a little. He learns quickly, following your actions without trying to take lead.

You pull away and do it again. Again and again and again until you’re used to the pace. You use your free hand to squeeze at his delicate waist, relishing in how easily he succumbs to the feelings. He lets out something like a moan that embarasses him near immediately as he pulls away. He’s clumsy but it’s cute, and makes you want to kiss him more.

He turns his head, using his wrist to cover his mouth which you grab swiftly. You grab his chin too, rubbing your thumb on his lip.

“Open your mouth and stick your tongue out,” You say, a little more eager than last. He makes a face but listens. You mimic him before kissing him one more time. The feeling of your tongue must surprise him. Either way, his body responds so beautiful. He nearly melts in your arms as you wrap them around his waist, fingers dancing to any bare skin you can. He makes a pretty, pitchy sound for you but doesn’t pull away this time.

When you stop kissing him, his face looks hazy. Frustrated, he almost goes to chase your mouth but stops himself. You smirk just barely, before busying your mouth on his chin. Open kisses trace his jaw as you lean into his pulse.

It beats under your teeth, his heart does, so red and so loud. For a minute you really do want to eat him alive, devour him in one swallow. But you restrain yourself from such desires, instead putting little marks on his body for tommorrow. So everyone knows not to say anything about his status. He can resent you later but for now, it’s a safety precaution.

He makes sounds like a melody, a string insturment in the warm sun. There’s something divinely beautiful about him. His body reacts to your simple touches, a shiver running up his spine as you kiss his neck and grope him lightly. It excites you, those innocent reactions. Makes something stir in your gut and grow hot between your legs.

You feel something shift underneath you. When you look, there’s something hard poking from his clothes. It makes a tent in the delicate fabric where he stands. You pull away just to stare at it, amused by how hard he is.

“Stop looking at it or I’ll gouge your eyes out,”

“It’s cute,” You say with conviction, wrapping your hands around the base with the fabric and squeezing the base “I should get to look,”

“W-what are you?”

“I’ll bet a stuck-up prince type like you didn’t get much education. There are more ways than one to feel pleasure than sticking it in. I’ll show you, so don’t run away,”

He doesn’t have the words to protest. He doesn’t refuse you, just watches through his hands. You rub him so slightly through the thin material. Can see it clear with your eyes adjusted. It fits easily in your palm, tip harsh pink and curved. You place your thumb over the tip, smearing the pre-cum leaking onto the fabric. He’s so sticky, so hard and hot in your palms.

“It’d be better if I touched you directly, but you’re cute like this. So lewd,”

He has nothing to say. A whine or protest gets cut short with a groan of pleasure. You laugh a little. You search the bed for a bottle of oil with your free hand. When you find it, you pull away and drip it into your hands.

“Hold this up for me.” You say softly. He hesitates but does, pulling the skirt up until his cock is visible. You rub the oil into your hands, warming it before wrapping around the shaft. The skin-to-skin proves to be a lot for him, his body already trembling though you’ve hardly touched him. He’s much heavier like this, His cock is smooth and he’s near hairless, You can see so much of him, the plane of his stomach and the musculature of his thighs.

He’s got lithe muscle, nothing too hard or too defined but there all the time. He’s got a dip in one of his hips and a mole that you’ll kiss some other time, just above where you’re touching. You wonder if there’s more. Once you have your way with him you’ll count.

You stroke him slowly and easily. Any more than this might be cruel since this much action seems to be too much. You watchi his expression as you build to a steady pace, paying special attention to the head. His expression is debauched. Inexperienced as you expected, but perhaps even more than that - sensitive. He’s throbbing against the curves of your roughened skin, gasping and holding hard onto your shoulder as he tries to keep himself tight in one place. You lean your head forward, kissing just under his pec.

“This is as far as I’ll go today. Cum for your beloved, hm? Show me your face?”

That seems to do it for him. The use of lover in such a context pushes him over the edge and it only takes two more strokes to spill into your fingers. Thick, hot ropes of cum makes a mess of your fingers as he ruts his cock into your palms chasing his high.

When he’s finished, he nearly collapses into your lap. It sedates all of his previous angers, something you note in the back of your mind.

You bring your hand up your mouth, tasting it. He gasps, scandalized.

“That’s dirty!”

“I’ve done worse. Besides it wasn’t bad. Hand me that,” You gesture. He tosses you the rag to wipe your hand with and you toss it in the basket at the end of your bed. Before he can push you away, you pull him into your arms and laydown.

“What are you doing?” He says, indignant.

“Holding you,” You say without blinking, looking down at him. You wrap your arms around his waist and let him cuddle into you “The concubines get angry if I don’t after,”

“...Don’t talk about them right now,”

You laugh “Right, sorry.”

“....What about me?”

You laugh a little at him pretending he isn’t worried.

“I know you said not to mention it but I’m all worn out for today. So get some sleep. I’ll have my Advisor prepare more in the morning but you should rest.”

“Ugh. Fine. If you insist,” He says, melting into you anyway. You laugh to yourself as he closes his eyes.

You’ve signed up for something fun.

#scaramouche x reader #scaramouche smut #genshim impact x reader #genshin impact smut #writing tag #wanderer x reader #wanderer smut #please read this i rlly like how it turned out sdjkdkfj #ask to tag #age gap cw #infidelity cw #cheating cw #<- its not cheating its like common in the time period but im tagging anyway #okay. going to disappear again after queueing a bit bc im supposed to be on hiatus till goj is finished

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yuesya · 4 months

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Now that I thought about it, I wonder how Sara Kujou is doing in the Genshin AU? I don't think she would be too keen in serving the one who "overthrew" the Archon she was loyal to. Unless Ayase or Yae explained the situation to her?

"Halt! I shall not allow any rebels to trespass upon-"

Those are all the words that Kujou Sara manages to speak before a blade descends upon her.

So be it, then. She raises her naginata to defend, preparing herself to strike out with a sweeping arc after parrying the blow-

The sword cleaves through the metal pole of her weapon like it's paper. Sara's eyes widen, and it's only the raw intuition honed through long years as a general on the battlefield that allows her to dodge, saving her life. But she does not manage to escape unscathed. The enemy's blade does not hesitate, scoring a deep gash down Sara's front.

An involuntary gasp escapes her throat, and Sara stumbles -but she does not allow herself to fall. She cannot falter, not now. Not when she stands as the last line of defense between the Shogun and the rebels who dare to turn their blades upon their god.

Sara's hands tighten on the broken halves of her weapon. Slices, as best as she can, but-

But the wicked blade of her enemy cuts through metal without pause, and Sara is forced to abandon her grip on her weapon, lest she lose her entire hand.

It's her loss. Sara's strength is not enough to trump this dire situation.

Blue eyes look upon her, apathetic and without feeling, and there's nothing that Sara can do when that blade comes for her neck-

"Wait, don't kill her! Kujou Sara is important, we'll need her in the future!"

-the blade stops. Blood trickles down from the fine line opened on Sara's neck, but her enemy doesn't cut.

And inexplicably, something inside Sara's chest burns in rage. "Do it, traitor. I won't betray the Shogun. Never."

Kamisato Ayase's expression does not change as she lifts her blade from Sara's neck.

"She's yours, Sangonomiya," is all the traitorous woman says, proceeding to abandon Sara in a pool of her own blood on the cold stone ground as she steps over her and makes her way towards the Shogun's chambers.

... No. No!

Sara attempts to struggle to her feet-

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," the calm voice of the rebel army's general sounds next to her ear. "Please hold still for a moment. Right now we need to-"

"Leave me," Sara hisses. "The Shogun, I must-"

"You can't do anything for the Raiden Shogun in your current state," Sangonomiya Kokomi points out reasonably. "This encounter... it's not something that the likes of you or I can interfere with. What happens next is all up to Ayase and the Shogun now."

"The Shogun will execute her."

"Well, I wouldn't be so certain," the other woman responds breezily. "Shall we make a bet? Let's see... if Ayase succeeds, then you-"

Sara cuts her off immediately, "I do not make bets with generals of rebel forces."

"What a pity," Sangonomiya remarks, not sounding particularly upset at all. "I know that you see us as enemies, but... we're not so different, really. In the end, we all want what's best for Inazuma's future."

Sara gives the priestess an incredulous look, "Raising a rebel army and opposing your Archon is your idea of what's best for Inazuma's future?"

"In this case? Yes."

Above them, the sky suddenly darkens. Thunder rumbles like a set of war drums, followed by long forks of crackling lightning. There's an invisible tremor that ripples through the air, one that inexplicably raises goosebumps on Sara's skin.

"So it's started," Sangonomiya murmurs quietly, gazing in the direction of the Shogun's chambers. Where Kamisato is no doubt confronting their Archon in this very moment.

...

The sounds of combat are fierce. Metal against metal, thunderclap against thunderclap. The lightning's glow illuminates the heavens.

In the end, Sara watches helplessly as her god falls, and a new god rises to take her place.

#QA #zenith of stars au #genshin impact au #got a little carried away here whoops #in regards to the ask though #sara is probably read in on the situation eventually #Writing

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silversoulstardust · 11 months

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kazurei but make it sengoku/warring states era au: rei is the only son to one of the feudal lords who is trained from birth to kill the opposing parties and other lords. suwa family is well known to be reliable in disposing of anyone who's going against the shogun they're serving, and they earned such praise thanks to rei, for being such a fearsome killer. his name sends chills down the enemy's spine. feudal lords and shogun contenders lose sleep over the thought of being suwa rei's target.

kazuki is a servant boy that gets assigned to rei since childhood. he follows rei around; manages his horses, polish his armors, prepares his food and bath, fights alongside rei when it's needed, and provides company to the sole heir of the fearsome suwa family that no other people dare to approach. the only person who can talk back to rei and make rei do things he doesn't like (even though it's good for him. like eating veggies.) the only person who is allowed to touch rei. rei hates being around people except for kazuki. naturally, their relationship blooms beyond being a lord's son and a servant.

rei's father gets a whiff of their relationship and tries to separate them. rei kills everyone who tries to take kazuki away from him. he burns the entire family to the ground. he tosses the crest that adorns the armor on his chest into the burning pile of woods before leaving with kazuki in tow, without sparing a single glance to look back at the legacy he destroyed.

a slowburn childhood friends to lovers, forbidden romance between a lord's son and a servant. a whole merthur shit except in feudal japan, if you will

#someone write a 50k words fic for this please 🥺#gawd i want to read it so bad #buddy daddies #buddy daddies headcanon #kazurei #reikazu #kurusu kazuki #suwa rei #chromie writes #in this case i write the prompt with hopes someone else can carry my vision for me #i need motivation & time & while im feeling good in this post menstruation/pre ovulation state i cant say much about the rest of the cycle #also time. kinda busy with this whole relocating and job searching so yeah no time to write :(#chrmz.txt

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theother-victoria · 1 year

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BLACK GOLD- A GENSHIN IMPACT X READER SERIES

SYNOPSIS: After witnessing a shady dealing involving the Shogun, you pledge your loyalty to the Shogunate in exchange for sparing your life. But crime taints everything it touches, and not everything that glitters is gold. As you advance through the ranks of the Shogunate and grow closer to the Shogun herself, you begin to wonder if you are the same person you thought you were.

TAGS: Modern au, crime au, enemies to lovers, slow burn, fluff w/angst

CHAPTERS: (will be updated)

NOTES: This is an open ended series, so as new regions and characters are added, new chapters will be added. There is no specific pairing- rather, all of them are implied.

The taglist is open! Comment on this post to be added

TAGLIST: @astranne @coco-goat-milk @amazingblogname @lxry-chxn @just-here-reading @serossidechick @jiminscarmex @salvationprodigy @avyliaa

#genshin impact x reader #raiden shogun x reader #yae miko x reader #kamisato ayaka x reader #kamisato ayato x reader #shikanoin heizou x reader #scaramouche x reader #zhongli x reader #ningguang x reader #venti x reader #kaeya x reader #diluc x reader #albedo x reader #cyno x reader #tighnari x reader #xiao x reader #al haitham x reader #victoria.navigation #victoria.writes

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illusion-of-sea-axes · 10 months

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Self-Defense.

#ninjago #ninjago au #my art #ninjago kai #kai jiang #kai smith #tw blood #cw fire #I cant hear you over the KAINGST!!!!#The Burning Shogun AU

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dat-bruv-person · 2 years

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⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ real life genshin au

a/n: you've heard of the self-aware genshin au (sagau), right? well, get ready for the real-life genshin au - where in-game characters come to your world, but a whole lot more wholesome :) sorry if you're living with your family right now, you'll have a hard time explaining why another person is in your house... this can be read as platonic bc we need more of that shit.

gn!reader, poc!friendly :)

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Xiao is a really helpful person, he's also ridiculously funny. Say it's raining outside and you need help taking your washing off of the line, he's already there helping you! The demons won't be able to get your washing now, [name]. I'll fend them off. EVIL CONQUERING! >:) He's saying that every second too. Oh, you need me to watch the store whilst your stew cooks? Don't worry, I'll prevent the demons from burning it. EVIL CONQUERING! UnU He's really sweet as well, he trusts you :) Do you need a hug? I'll prevent the demons from worsening your depression. EVIL CONQUERING- :D

Albedo is very good when it comes to homework if you need help. However, be careful not to leave it out, you'll end up with us all done with stars and doodles all over it... in pen. Here you go, your homework:) Oh, and I also did your English, French, Spanish and German homework for you too! The maths was so easy, how did you not get it? Did I make you self-conscious? I apologise, please forgive me :( I put stars all over your work! He's an actual sweetheart if you think about it, and acts just like his voice actor: Khoi Dao. Why're you trying to run from me? I just wanna get you to try this new drink I made >:( COME 'ERE BITCH-

Venti is an actual menace, but not as bad as you think. Whilst you're brushing your teeth, he's in the shower singing or something like that. He loves bubble baths so much - like me too bestie <3 Hey [name]? Could you pass me the shampoo? Thankyouiloveyousomuch~ Any alcohol you have, put it away. No drunk menaces are allowed in your house or are they??? Styling his hair is an absolute must. It has to be in his signature style or at least something to do with braids or plaits. He's quite ticklish too so whilst you were doing his hair, it turned into a tickle fight. Aww c'mon [name] I'm sorry :( please don't tickle me anyMORE SVAUVSWKBSHSV-

Ei in real life? Please. She's useless. I'm sorry but it's the truth. However, she is very cute when she wants stuff, and she has her puppet with her too so say bye-bye to Inazuma's duties shawty. I cannot stress how much of a savage duo you are the Shogun are. Like actually you both are boss bitches. Whilst Ei tries to get your attention in the shops so you guys can make a pit stop at the confectionary aisle, you and the Shogun are arm in arm deadass strutting and walking your shit. You don't think we could maybe try some sweets in the other aisle, [name]? You know I'm not from here- The Shogun looks her dead in the eye, and then back at you. Ei is wondering what the fuck just happened whilst the Shogun is picking out sunglasses for you both because you're just that cool >:) You're an admirable person with good intent and high ambitions [name]. I've come to realise that my mistress only thinks about eternity, sweets and her friend Yae Miko. Oh well, fuck her. I'll take you back to Inazuma instead :) SO SHADY GODDAMN RAIDEN

Yae Miko is gobbling up this new environment to make a novel on it back home. She's actually not that intimidating if you think about it, just a little bit of a tease. She's a known critic, so you pull out all the worst Wattpad stories you can find and roast the living shit out of female Y/N because of the underrepresentation, weird-ass harem she has, and obviously because the stuff the writer makes her do is unrealistic and frankly quite embarrassing. Then you guys go through all the good stuff on Tumblr, AO3, Quotev and Wattpad where you have plenty, yet not enough, male!reader/gn!reader fics with good plots and a good sense of humour. What kind of atrocity is this? Are you seeing this [name]? The punctuation's all wrong too! For eternity's sake, not only are these writers amateur but they are also unrealistic and don't realise that there are different types of people out there with different genders, races and sexualities. Get it out of my sight. >:( I'm sorry you had to endure my rant there, [name]. Yes ma'am.

Xinyan is best girl. Period. Do you see her pretty curls? Yeah. If you're a person of colour and can relate to the struggles of such hair textures then you both can struggle together. She's so self-conscious about her style that it's criminal so please reassure her. This one's for the people of colour. Okay, so you get the rice and I'll make the spicy chicken and ribs; then we'll start on the vegetables :D She's an amazing cook and if you teach her some of your cultural delicacies??? MAKE ME YOUR TASTE TESTER I BEG YOU BRUH. On that note, she's a homegirl. Nothing like watching some ethnic drama alongside a bowl of [insert cultural dish]. What is that boy doing? Why you going over there, boy? Don't you know she's cheating on you AND NOW you've caught her. Damn-

Eula is a baby. Yes, she is. Won't leave your side ever and is ready to put up a fight. Even though her language isn't the most up to date, we can fix that! You've managed to teach her some phrases from social media that even she makes sound... aggressive. Excuse me, I would not like my hair cut. If anyone is going to cut my hair it is going to be [name]. What do you mean you have to? Retract that statement or I will shank you up my guy. You're probably going to have to explain to whoever you guys are with that Eula just isn't normal. She's unique okay???? Hmph, after that, I would just like to go home with you now [name]. There we will not be bothered by anyone but your parents or siblings, which have earned my respect. That hairdresser... Vengeance will be mine- STFU.

Oh little Dainsleif, so pure! He follows you everywhere and holds your hand when crossing the street - it's adorable!! He's so afraid of losing you that the poor guy will hug you at every given opportunity and gives you the softest smiles when you hug him back!!! I'm not sure I have much cheek to squish, but it feels nice. Thank you :) Do you see this man??? I swear, all you guys do is cuddle and walk everywhere hand in hand. Ugh so cute!!! When you both aren't behaving like a couple, Dainsleif just likes to watch over you. Whenever you sleep, he will sit beside your bed to make sure you don't accidentally fall off, he'll put your arm or leg back on the bed so you don't get pins and needles in the morning and tucks you in at night. Also, he is whipped for you and when he's sure you are in a deep sleep, he will brush hair out of your face or put your bonnet/durag back on for you. A little kiss on the forehead, nose and both cheeks to grant you sweet dreams. Good night [name], have sweet dreams for me, okay? *kiss*. ( ˘ ³˘)♥

Childe is another menace that likes to learn about the different kinds of weapons you have in your world, ranging from guns to katanas. He's canonically a family man, so if you live with family, he's on a mission to fit in and get their approval >:) Please, call me Childe! Oh, that looks like a cool toy, what is it? Show me how to use it and then we can play together :D! My man likes to dance too. As soon as he hears your music, he'll be intrigued by its sound and ask so many questions in one go. Chill. Drink water. Educate him on all the TikTok dances and sounds you know and soon you'll have a masterpiece in front of you. I mean, who wants a handsome, long-limbed, skinny ginger man who can't dance??? We really do need these great things in Schnezhaya - they're brilliant. [name], watch me do a backflip!

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madmanwonder · 4 months

Note

Ask

Crossover

How did Hanzo and Kuai meet Raiden and Yae?

Hanzo met Raiden when Raiden sent him to meet with Raiden Shogun in order to discuss a possible alliance between them in order to stopped Shan Khan destructive conquest.

Kuai met Yae when he was sight seeing around the Grand Narukami Shrine and met the beautiful and mysterious kitsune.

#genshin impact #mortal kombat #yae miko #raiden shogun #hanzo hasashi #kuai liang #sub zero #scorpion #mk scorpion #mk sub zero #crossover au #crossover au ask #anon ask #burning eternity #astute coldness

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cryoculus · 1 year

Text

— masterlist ✧

× all of these contain smut unless stated otherwise

× some fics might contain more plot than porn :’)

× completed (❄️ ) on-going (🧺) coming soon (🎐)

× personal picks (✨) most popular (🌟)

★ — ARATAKI ITTO

↳ reparations | 🧺 × tags: modern au, flower shop, comedy, mutual pining, slow burn, no smut

running a business in hanamizaka was one thing—but doing so in the turf of the arataki gang was something else entirely. although, as long as you paid rent on time, they assured that you wouldn't run into any trouble. that's until the boss crashed his motorcycle into your shop, inviting all sorts of trouble along the way.

★ — CHILDE

↳ death sentence | 🎐 × tags: childhood friends, unrequited love, unhealthy relationships, angst

losing him once was a warning. losing him twice was punishment. but losing him a third time was pure catharsis.

↳ sin & tonic | 🎐 × tags: threesome, banter, annoying!childe, established fwb!kaeya

all you wanted was to unwind after two stressful weeks on the job. unfortunately for you, childe and kaeya have other plans.

★ — DAINSLEIF

↳ all in a day's work | 🎐 × tags: caretaking, introspection, no smut

your inn is widely famous among a variety of people. from the scholars of sumeru to the merchants of liyue, you've certainly built a good reputation for yourself. when your workers bring in a half-dead outlander, though, you arrive at quite an impasse.

★ — DILUC

↳ happy accidents | 🎐 × tags: friends to lovers, banter

being kindred spirits in solitude, a quiet evening away from the festivities is just what you and your good friend, diluc needed. until you accidentally fell into a lake and made your night ten times worse (read: better).

↳ paradoxical | 🎐 × tags: love triangle, childhood friends, pining, unrequited love, angst

in which you think fleeing to a different city is an acceptable coping mechanism, and how the two most important men in your life prove you wrong in the most convoluted manner possible.

★ — KAEYA

↳ paradoxical | 🎐 × tags: love triangle, childhood friends, pining, unrequited love, angst

in which you think fleeing to a different city is an acceptable coping mechanism, and how the two most important men in your life prove you wrong in the most convoluted manner possible.

↳ sin & tonic | 🎐 × tags: threesome, banter, annoying!childe, established fwb!kaeya

all you wanted was to unwind after two stressful weeks on the job. unfortunately for you, childe and kaeya have other plans.

↳ tangled up | 🎐 × tags: modern au, one night stands, teacher!reader, no smut

the one where you have connections in all the wrong places, and the parties involved aren't exactly making things easier for you.

★ — KAMISATO AYATO

↳ lotus eater | ❄️ × tags: established relationship, fluff, no smut

you’ve been by Ayato’s side 5 out of the 26 years he’s been blessed with today and you intend to stay until the very last one.

↳ thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife | ❄️ × tags: established relationship, resolved sexual tension

thoma was taught to only take what’s reasonably given to him. but what if ayato offers something he can’t refuse?

★ — THOMA

↳ guard dog | ❄️✨ × tags: enemies to lovers, found family, slow burn

you’re a skilled mercenary who takes odd jobs all around inazuma to make ends meet. so when the shogunate hires you to assassinate the lady of the kamisato clan, you don’t think much of it. that’s until you grossly miscalculate how good of a guard dog her chief retainer actually is.

↳ thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife | ❄️ × tags: established relationship, resolved sexual tension

thoma was taught to only take what’s reasonably given to him. but what if ayato offers something he can’t refuse?

★ — XIAO

↳ imagine being loved by me! | ❄️🌟 × tags: childhood friends to lovers, tattoo artist!xiao, angst

the one where your best friend gives you ten tattoos over the next ten years. the problem? you fall deeper in love each time the ink stains your skin.

★ — ZHONGLI

↳ dream a little (dream of me) | ❄️✨ × tags: modern au, office au, succubi & incubi, past lives, angst

you're a modern-day succubus just trying to get by, and your superior, mister zhongli is next on your hit-list. but every time you invade his dreams, he becomes someone else entirely…

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definesanity · 10 months

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Hello, I have had a few ideas that I feel you might like.

The idea being, Sauron Reader for SAGAU.

Depending on the au, the reader is either like Sauron was before his fall into darkness, still devoted to order and perfection, but not to the extremes he became infamous for after joining Morgoth, or a full on reborn form of the Dark Lord of Midle Earth that sees Teyvat as a second chance to establish a perfectly ordered world under their command.

Perhaps, in a normal or cult au, they have been given this chance at redemption, at earning their place among their fellows once more following their final defeat when the Ring was destroyed and they were rendered impotent until the final battle for Arda.

In an Imposter/impostor au, or an angst au where they are forgotten or perhaps in a Bloodletting Au, they begin to gradually return to the dark lord they once were, finally becoming the Dark Lord when they see no other option and decide that they have had enough of this mad world.

In one verse they could give their rings of power to their most loyal, not turning them into Nazgul but still binding them to the Reader, and in the Imposter AU they could decide to recreate the Nazgul with a few modifications out of those who remained loyal to them.

Perhaps there could be a moment where Celestia steps in, desperate to stop the downfall of the world they and the Fatui, have joined forces to either purify or defeat their own creator to save themselves and their world.

The Abyss order and Hilichurls could take the place of the Orcs and Goblins or perhaps the reader could find a way to recreate the orcs and other forces of darkness from Middle Earth in Teyvat.

I have also had an idea for an au where Lumine, or Aether depending on the Traveler you choose, is not seen as a hero but instead treated with disdain and suspicion given their other worldly nature.

People off them the bare minimum to outright nothing even after all they do for them, from the Knights sending them on a suicide mission against Dvalin, to the Qixing trying to execute them as a scapegoat after Morax fakes his death, and so on.

These things begin to wear on the Traveler, eventually making them drop their kind and heroic persona and become a cold and unfeeling being once more, the culmination being in Inazuma where they are betrayed and left to die against the Shogun by Miko in the hopes of bringing Ei back...only for them to almost kill both her and Ei, leaving behind a burning Tenshukaku and Inazuma city as the rebel forces they usurped control of tear through the city in a berserk rage due to the mixture of Delusions and magics the traveler has used on them.

Eventually, after the events of Sumeru, they decide to simply abandon the world and let their sibling find a way to meet up with them in another world.

However, something has happened that they did not anticipate, for just as they gather their power and set in motion a ritual that should allow for them to leave, or to send something akin to a distress signal to their fellows, the people of Teyvat begin to search for them.

Perhaps it is due to Kusanali unknowingly broadcasting their memories across Teyvat, perhaps it is due to a piece of information long hidden in Irminsul being released regarding a prophecy of the Twin Stars, or perhaps it is for something else entirely such as the traveler being soulmates with many of the beings in each of the nations, though the marks identifying them as such only appeared after they left the nation behind and cut ties with it, rejecting those who had been set to be their missing pieces.

Regardless, the people of Teyvat arrive just in time to see the Traveler pushing their twins limp body off of their blade as their ritual roars to life and they either vanish into the stars once more, deciding to regain their powers with their kins aid, or the beam pierces through the false skies of Teyvat and sends the equivalent of an S.O.S. to the Travelers people, thus triggering a new conflict for the world.

Well, what do you think?

Till next time, take care.

Who hurt you? Like, seriously, do you wanna get something off your chest? Because you seem like there's something you want to get off of your chest.

Anyways; I have zero knowledge of Lord of The Rings, but I can write, and I say: woah, cool :3

There's not a lot I can say other than that, but thank you for your thoughts, friend-o :D

And thanks, take care of yourself as well.

#ryuusei's replies #genshin impact #sagau #genshin cult au #sagau brainrot

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the-white-void · 1 year

Text

“BLOODY MARY” (PORCELAIN!AU)

Warning: fem!reader, this fic has implications on dark gore and blood baths because the reader is based on the figure “Mary the 1st” and “Elizabeth Bathory”, so if you don’t like the reader torturing and killing people then I suggest you go on

Dubbed an imposter, they ran for their life in such a delicate state and were excommunicated by civilization just for looking like their “dead” god.

“So what do you think I might do” she taunted at what was once an angry mob ready to shatter your head at any given moment.

A pool of blood scattered across the floor littered the guts and organs of those who dared to triumph over her remaining patients.

The fear and overwhelming stress she has gained throughout what felt like years of running away turned into unrivaled and bottomless anger and vengeance.

A smile hiding the corrupted ideals of their forsaken God lingers through their eyes, that is until their god had carried an order that was beyond what is called sane.

Small villages that participated in the hunt for the “imposter” were suddenly burned down by flaming arrows but their god who does not know how to wield a bow properly wouldn’t do that.

“You’re right, I didn’t know, so the little birdies helped me”

Birdies? Did their god call upon a Phoenix just for something so small? Or could it be that they… used birds as a messenger of flaming rain.

With the faces of the “loyal acolytes” drained of any hope that their god would forgive them, as deranged and insane they were they still thought the god they so hoped to be a blessing, but after their foolishness, it would be the beginning of the end.

And it didn’t get any better for them. In fact, it only got worse.

They started to torture those who dared to whisper rumors criticizing the creator’s motives and those who were caught, well even uttering their name might get them detained.

The General of the shogun’s army was hiding from Her Grace’s eyes and found herself in the powder room under a vanity, and there she saw things that made her want to gouge her own eyes out, a tub filled with blood with its stench filling up the room and after some time of sinking in what she saw a leg emerged from the wine-colored ichor, and then another, and then fingers, arms, and finally the head. The head of the creator whose hair faded into the red ichor.

Her eyes opened to look at the ceiling while making herself comfortable in her pool. The general watched in horror knowing those who were taken away were used as this but all she could do was be a witness to this.

“Hiding there won’t save you” her voice singing in the general’s head, she looked at the figure in the tub once more but she disappeared appearing beside her. She stumbled to her side away from the deity in fear knowing her life could end here, no, it will end here, with that god’s anger she is sure to die.

The god leans close to the general and whispers in her ear “look at me, and tell me you’re sorry, and I will let you go” the God’s voice sugarcoats her intent but even so survival was just in her reach. She looks into the eyes of her god, her once teary and human eyes were nowhere to be seen, only the eyes of an insane bloody monster.

#sagau brainrot #sagau #sagau isekai #sagau idea #genshin sagau #tw gore #isekai genshin au #genshin au #horror reader

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mastrogepetto · 11 months

Text

Some time ago, I found a post by galactic-dragoness about a Sly Cooper Coffee Shop AU where, as the name suggests, the titular gang decide to open a coffee shop to use as their base of operations in between heists as they go after the Fiendish Five.

And like most things she's posted both on tumblr and on AO3, she's put enough spin on the idea that I would be interested in reading such an AU. Not so much for the coffee shop setting itself, but the double life aspects Sly would have to balance in order to pull it off, and all the wonderful ways it can (and will) fall apart all around him. Carmelita finding out that the charming and handsome coffee shop owner she's been dating is none other than the Ringtail she's been hunting across the continent, the strain on Sly's and Bentley's relationship as the former starts considering a life outside thievery and the latter's feelings of betrayal, Clockwerk burning the cafe down because he's just that petty. There's a lot of potential here.

And since I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing again, I want to try my hand at this idea. So far, I have decided upon the following:

•Sly was inspired by Roichi's sushi shop and the stories his father would regale him with about the ninja that would sell sushi by day and steal from the shogun at night.

•Bentley is the most against the idea, because of the paperwork that would be involved and the potential drain on their time and resources the shop could pose. He relents, so long that Sly agrees to play by the rules he sets, like fake names, wearing a snowboard mask and goggles while on the job, the whole shebang.

•Murray is all for the idea of the cafe, partially because he wants to feel useful to the gang beyond just driving them places, partially because he wants to make it the home for his best friends that the orphanage never was. And although home is where your family is, the concept of safe houses always seemed too cold and impersonal for him.

•Sly and the gang start running proper heists from the ripe age of 15, dancing around the orphanage's schedules and hiding their money in an oak tree.

•Naming the shop proves almost as challenging as opening the damned thing.

•Sly keeps suggesting self-indulgent names like "Maître Voleur" et cetera.

•Bentley's suggestions are drier than flour. He doesn't get the point of atmosphere.

•Murray's suggestions are an overly long gag. I.e. he picks ridiculously long names that just wouldn't fit on any reasonable sign. His star suggestion is "Le petit café élégant et convivial aux délicieuses pâtisseries tenu par un raton laveur, une tortue et un hippopotame". It's one of the short ones.

•Eventually, they settle on "La pie en fût". The Casked Magpie. Or Cooper Thief, as Bentley interprets it. He believes that Sly is being coy again, but finds the name inoffensive enough that he lets it slide.

•Sly lets him believe that.

•They set shop somewhere along the Seine river, a short walk away from Interpol's headquarters. They hope to take advantage of the rumour mill and keep an ear open for potential heists or the fiendish five, since Interpol is still in the process of digitising and a lot of this information is still physical.

•This makes them targets for our favourite marine iguana, Dimitri Lousteau, since he had set eyes on the location for his own franchises for similar reasons. He sends goons to coerce the gang to sell him the shop first chance he gets.

•Enter Carmelita Fox. She drives the thugs away with her badge and attitude from what she assumes to be an everyday protection scheme. She meets the gang and assumes they are nothing more than a bunch of 18 year olds trying to start a business.

•Sly introduces himself as Sylvester Raton-laveur, but tells Carmelita to call him Sly.

•Bentley strangles Sly with his bare hands.

•Dimitri doesn't stop going after the shop. However, he not only realizes that he and Sly are cut from the same cloth, but that Sly is actually a Cooper. He decides to take advantage of the situation. In exchange of running the shop whenever the gang are on their little "business trips", Sly will run some jobs for Dimitri, maybe share some of the things he learns from his customers. On threat of course of revealing his operation to Interpol and blowing the whole thing sky high.

•Each of the Fiendish Five have stolen a portion of the book pertaining to their themes and interests.

•Raleigh stole the parts with the gadgets the Coopers used. Otto van Cooper's designs, Bruce O'Coop's computer science, Thaddeus's diatribes on the art of disguise and so on. Tips on basic thievery are also here.

•Muggshot stole the movement techniques. Rioichi's and Tennesse's techniques, the roll, the dive et cetera. He also purchased Slaigh McCooper's secrets to tapping into hysterical strength from the Panda King. (Infuriating Sly to no end that they would trade his heritage between themselves like baseball cards.)

•Mz. Ruby took the more mystical arts, like Invisibility and attracting coins to oneself. She has the smallest share of the Thievious Raccoonus, because Clockwerk took the parts with the real juice in them.

•The Panda King's portion deals with advanced techniques that precisely control one's mind and body. Using your fur's static electricity, accelerating and decelerating one's perception of time, controlling your body's temperature, your heartbeat, tapping into hysterical strength et cetera.

•Clockwerk stole the best parts of the book. Defying gravity, slowing and stopping time, deflecting fire, controlling the trajectory of projectiles after they have been fired and finally, teleportation. (Only a couple of feet though.) Everything that tilted the game too much in the Cooper's favour.

•Proud bastard that he is, Clockwerk never uses any of the book's techniques. After all, he is already perfect.

•His feud with the Coopers started before Slytunkhamen's time, during the Sumerian civilization's time. The son of florists, Clockwerk was an ambitious young man who wanted to become immortal through his legacy. When the gods took fire from mortals and threatened to turn them all into mindless beasts, Clockwerk was among those who made the journey for their abode to steal it back. He was the people's favourite, because he was large, strong and could fly. The winds were too cold and violent even for him though, so he failed like the rest.

•The one to succeed was his family's slave, a cooper that didn't even have the dignity of a name. He climbed the mountain, stole the fire by hiding it in a jar and brought it back to mortals.

•He didn't succeed on his first try, but every time he made the journey, he brought back survivors, among whom was Clockwerk himself.

•Hailed a hero, the nameless cooper was given freedom and a name. Although the name was lost to the annals of history, he is remembered to the present day through the myth of Prometheus and the general concept of the noble thief that steals from the rich and gives to the poor.

•Clockwerk grew to resent the first Cooper. He tried to outshine him by stealing treasures and artifacts, to prove himself the superior thief. Nothing he did seemed to measure up. His hatred reached a breaking point at the Cooper's funeral, who had lived a full life and was surrounded by friends and a large family, while all Clockwerk had to show for his life was an endless string of failures. He killed the Cooper's eldest son and ate his heart and liver. That failed to satiate his hatred though. The rest is history.

•Clockwerk managed to preserve himself through hatred alone, but his constant clashes with the Coopers took its toll over the centuries, leaving him a patchwork of scars. Until Slaigh McCooper knocked him out of the sky and tore his wing off, Clockwerk was fully organic.

Of course, this isn't everything I have in mind for the story. For example, I'm thinking of turning Mz. Ruby's stage into a genius loci of sorts that reflects the psyche of whoever it deems holds the reigns, mainly to explain away why the resident voodoo lady lives in a giant voodoo crocodile skull swamp. It could be a good opportunity for exposition. Sly sneaks in and confronts Mz. Ruby but loses the fight because of the invisibility she stole. She taunts him for burying his emotions beneath the thin veneer of a gentleman thief and throws a violin at him so that he can express himself (to mock him of course). Sly takes her up on the offer and boom, suddenly the whole swamp is a scorching vortex of fire, because of course the Fiendish Five burned his house down on top of everything else, leaving Mz. Ruby running for the hills with her hair on fire, Sly trapped and Carmelita having to rescue Sly from his own psyche. Maybe get a glimpse of the night of his parents' murder and start putting the pieces together about Sly's true identity.

I'm not too married to this particular idea just yet. Although Sly's lies will have to start to unravel eventually, with the Panda King providing the final nail in the coffin.

At the same time, I want Barkley to have a more prominent role in the story. Sow the seeds of doubt in Carmelita about how truthful Sly is being with her while quietly opening an investigation on the cafeteria shop owner that so happens to be the spitting image of Connor Cooper. (Until he can convince her though, everyone thinks Barkley is being racist. Or specist.)

(Whatever he is being, HR will have words with him over it.)

(Even if he is 100% correct.)

#sly cooper #carmelita fox #sly cooper coffee au #fanfic #sly headcanons #slycarmelita #aka “How many times will Sly screw Bentley's plans up before the little turtle strangles him”#the theme will most likely be about having more choices than you think you do #galactic-dragoness inspired #she will probably sue my shoes off about most of this #Barkley is played by J.K. Simmons #Murray is played by Gérard Depardieu #my first post

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