#She actually wanted to eat the eggs raw
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Brunch Time!! We're making egg and cheese sandwiches!
I like my eggs over medium but she prefers scrambled, so we compromised and made some of each
She wanted to do something all by herself so I let her cook the bagels (I'm not letting her anywhere near the stove unsupervised, last time I did she burnt the grilled cheese)
And there we have it! Two egg sandwiches and my very proud kitchen assistant!
Have a lovely day everybody!
#Big Reds Adventures#dinosaur figurine#toy blog#dinosaur#velociraptor#cooking#She actually wanted to eat the eggs raw#the real compromise was getting her to let me at least scramble her eggs
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Leather & Lace
Hello my angels and welcome to Leather and Lace!!! We’ve got a very cute 3 parter (I’ve finished writing it) coming in for you guys. We love a good grumpy x sunshine and couldn’t help ourselves writing another one. Please leave us feedback! We love to hear from you
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Wc- 8.2k
Warnings- oral sex, praise kink, soft Dom h, opposites attract, cum play/swapping
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“How can you be this happy in the morning?” Harry grunted, hoodie pulled over his head as he sat down next to a bubbly Y/N. Her couch was comfortable but it didn’t make up for the fact that he was at her flat at 8 in the morning.
“It’s not that early, lazy bones.” She hummed, tucking her legs under her as she sat down on the other side. “Thank you for coming to help today, by the way. I know you don’t like getting up early.”
He really didn’t, was the thing. He hated it. Harry only had so many days off and after working a long shift bartending last night, the very last thing he wanted to do was help someone unpack in their new flat. He’d rather claw at concrete than be awake right now, rather eat a raw egg, rather go through tattoo removal. If it was anyone but Y/N he would have laughed in their face at the mere ask.
But it was her. It was twinkly eyed, pouty lipped, warm hearted Y/N who had asked him a week in advance and promised him a bagel with cream cheese and an iced coffee for brekkie, whatever he wanted for lunch, and ‘whatever he wanted in general!’. Little did she know he was going to say yes anyway, considering he knew he couldn’t say no to her sweet little ask with her smaller hand on his tattooed arm and wide eyes peering up at him. He wasn’t someone who liked to do things for many people without there being some sort of monetary gain, but this was different.
Y/N had somehow latched herself onto one of the grumpiest bastards in the area while she herself was one of the sweetest girls he’d ever seen. Rarely spoke a mean word of anyone (except when they hurt someone close to her), went out of her way to help anyone who needed it and always wanted to be a shoulder to cry on. He’d seen her take money from her own wallet to cover someone’s bill when they were short, even seen her rush to help an elderly man across the street. It got her into trouble sometimes which was why he was glad that he’d been the hip she’d chosen to attach to.
Their first interaction had been him sitting in the courtyard of their uni, listening to music under the tree. He’d had his sketchbook in hand, doodling in between classes when he looked up to see a girl with a pretty yellow bow in her hair offering him a cupcake because he looked ‘sad.’. He had been sad, actually, but that was pretty much his normal resting face. He’d tried to blow her off but she’d taken a seat next to him, introducing herself and telling him about her own day to ‘distract him’. He hated to admit that it worked.
From then on, she popped up everywhere. At first he’d been a bit worried that she was following him but it truly was a coincidence. Y/N had found her way under his skin, wriggled her way into that cold heart of his and made it warm up just a little each time she came around. At some point she’d become a daily fixture in his life, her texts lighting up his phone with emojis and telling him to meet her at the cafe or the library- and for some reason, he followed.
“Mmm. Know y’wanted me here to see me get all sweaty. If y’wanted to see my tats and muscles so badly, you coulda just said so, Sweets.” He smirked, watching her eyes widen. So easy to fluster.
“No! Stop teasing me, s’not nice.” She grumbled, poking his knee with her socked foot. She’d chosen lavender striped ones today. “I don’t have a lot of strong friends, you know that. Niall’s comin’ by after work to help you put the bedframe together and move the books from the car. Besides, I’ll let you sleepover and everything after we’re all done. I know you loveeeee my bed.”
He did. But more than anything he liked laying in said bed with her. Harry had a hard time admitting he had begun to gain feelings for the girl but deep down he knew he did. He liked that she insisted on cuddles, curling her leg around his and nuzzling her face into his chest, or even better yet the crook of his neck. Loved when she’d sleepily ask him questions about his life and tell him facts about her own. She resembled a tiny kitten while sleepy, insistent on getting all of the pets and attention.
Harry had decided he wasn’t the relationship type after his last girlfriend had cheated on him with his old best mate- but meeting Y/N had reminded him of the die hard romantic that laid underneath the surface. All the hard work he’d had piling up bricks on top of his red, bleeding heart had seemed to be consistently excavated by the pastel wearing girl who still enjoyed the fairy lights he used to see online in those aesthetic bedroom photos. It scared him a bit at first. Even now, he was nervous about the idea of getting closer to her than they were now because her heart was a tender and precious thing and he didn’t necessarily trust himself not to hurt her- but then again, he knew he’d do miles better than anyone else could. He’d spent the time learning about her as the months went by, listening to her drawl on about the pinterest boards she made, her dream finds she always looked for at the thrift stores, her least favorite reality TV contestants, which pastries she found to be too dry at the cafe and which had the best level of moisture, what blankets she liked, every little tidbit he had stored away in his brain to use at a later date.
No one would be as protective of her as he would be, which was why lately he’d been entertaining the thought of perhaps moving past the point of no return and trying to see if maybe, possibly, perhaps.. They could be more.
It had come with a lot of deliberating but he’d come to understand that if he failed, Y/N wouldn’t caste him to the side. She’d never in a million years abandon him like he feared, which only gave him more motivation to go for it though… He was still biding his time. He had to let her get settled here before he shook up her life a bit more.
They were opposites, the sweet girl and him. Harry was quite literally the bad boy cliche of everyone’s after school special’s dreams. His hair was long and curled, brushing his jaw. He went for darker clothing, usually his ripped black skinny jeans and a band tee but sometimes more eccentric with some silk and leaving his tits out when they went on a night out. His nose had a simple black hoop, his nails painted and chipped though this week they were a bubblegum pink, a la Y/N’s expertise. His body was hard from the gym he liked to frequent and inked, only getting more every month. He wore the occasional eyeliner when he felt spicy. That was only the physical things.
Sometimes he wondered why she felt drawn to him, as she said. He was dark and moody with a darker sense of humor. Somewhat of a pessimist, he expected the worst from people and tended to stay away from them the best he could. The opposite of a social butterfly, he only usually went out in the past for a drink or to get his cock wet, never for the pleasure of interacting with people. Even then it was rare considering he did quite well in the hookup area being a bartender himself.
Harry often wondered how and why she felt the pull to be around him and why she felt so at ease in his presence but he figured it had to be that he’d knocked the lights out of a bloke in her philosophy class who’d been riding her ass. He’d made the wrong decision of cornering Y/N at a party Harry had been dragged to, touching her a bit too much and not listening when her smile became thin and she backed away from him after giving a rejection much too polite than the man deserved. There had been no hesitation in laying him out, tugging Y/N into his side and demanding she stay with him for the rest of the party after she insisted she didn’t need to go home.
Funnily enough she’d been a hit with his own small group of friends, everyone also feeling the same sort of kindred protection over her. Not many people were genuinely warm and fuzzy in the way she was.
Y/N was… She was the sun, she was a cinnamon roll fresh baked on a sunday morning, she was a kitten sprawled in a sunbeam. All the good things, he could find a way to relate them to her. That probably should have been the indicator he had feelings for her far sooner than he’d ever let himself admit, but she had taken the time to crack him open.
It was hard to stop thinking about what made her both his opposite and so special. Harry dwelled on how soft her clothing always was, both in color and texture. She liked those pastel colors and fuzzy cardigans, hair bows and those signature mary janes with the tiny heels. Lip oil as opposed to lip gloss because it was ‘too sticky’ but still dragged all his attention to her lips and made him wonder if it really tasted like tangerine like it smelled.
Her touch was gentle and tender, cautious at first but as soon as she got the go ahead, she showered you in attention. At least, she did to him. Brushing stray hairs out of faces and wiping crumbs off cheeks, she had little sense of personal space once granted permission. She’d been mindful of his distaste for touch at the beginning but once he’d leaned into it, the girl had no qualms about straightening his shirt or leaning into his form, hell- there had been a few times she’d helped herself to his lap when there was no other seating option. Usually that was when she was tipsy considering she would most likely be a little shy sober, but that was something he enjoyed.
The light to his dark, he doubted anyone else could make him feel the way she could. Hence why he was up after only getting 4 hours of sleep, sipping the coffee she’d gotten him. There was little he wouldn’t do for a hint of her smile.
—--
“Babe, you’ve got t’make a decision.” Harry said gently, placing the large mirror down and leaning it against the wall.
“I know, I know but… It’s bad luck to have your mirror facing your bed.” She wrung her fingers together. “I’m sorry, H. I know I’ve been a bit of a pain in the rear today. I promise m’not trying to, but It’s my first place and I just want it to be perfect.” Her head looked down, making his heart squeeze.
God damn it. Leave it to her to make him feel like he’d kicked a puppy. Sighing, he tugged the bandana on his head back into place and approached her, placing his hand on her shoulder. “M’not upset with you. Promise. I just think you’re overthinking it a bit.” Her superstitions did tend to make her feel a little squirrely sometimes and he knew it. “We’re gonna make it look perfect. Incredible, even. Reckon the magazines will be calling you up to feature you, but we can’t just have a freestanding mirror slab.” He’d picked it up for her off of craigslist just a bit ago. Even if it wasn’t a dodgy listing, he wouldn’t let her go on her own. That’s how people got kidnapped.
“Ugh, I know.” She groaned, flopping into his chest. Never mind it being sweaty, she rubbed her nose between his tits and let out a tired groan, her hair smacking his chin. It’d been tossed up in a very messy bun that was a bit lopsided but made her look doubly as cute, though he didn’t tell her that. “Why don’t we mount it to the back of your door then? Not facing your bed, or another mirror.”
He could almost hear her brain going as she mulled it over before he felt the nod against his chest. “That will be good, I think. I love that idea.” Y/N had been going back and forth over design choices with him all day as if he had a clue about interior decor, but he had appreciated her caring about his opinion nonetheless. “That can be the last thing we do. Niall’s fucked off somewhere futzing with the books so we can eat after that’s done.”
The thud of his heart against her ear was steady as he gently ran a hand over her shoulderblade. “What’s on the menu?”
“Think we’re ordering pizza because I know m’too tired to cook which means you lot have to be too.” She chuckled, finally prying herself out of his chest and blinking up at him.”Then we can go to bed.” He was thankful her ear was away from his heart so she couldn’t hear the way it stuttered. You’d think after sleeping in her bed a multitude of times that he’d get used to the sound of that sentence but it still did him in every time.
“Okay. I can run and pick it up after I mount this to the door if you call it in.” He knew she wouldn’t want to go. It was visible on her face how tired she was and it melted him internally. He knew that she’d be a little snuggly menace tonight and fuck if he wasn’t looking forward to it. “Gonna run into the pharmacy t’grab some body wash for here, if thats okay?”
“Course it is.” She beamed at the suggestion, making him happy that he’d even brought it up. Y/N used to suggest he sleep heer a lot before and he’d refuse, thinking she was just trying to be polite- but she really did enjoy him staying with her. “I liked the pomegranate one you used last time, just sayin’.” Patting his chest she moved from his grip, heading to grab her phone. “Normal for you?”
“Yeah, love. Same as usual.” He rubbed over the achy spot in his chest that she’d left by pulling away, looking forward to sleeping tonight so he could feel it fill back up.
—-----------
Harry had grabbed the pomegranate bath stuff. He’d grabbed the whole line, actually, the shampoo, conditioner, body wash and some sort of ‘skin buff.’ Whatever that was.
Y/N had squeaked as he showed her, along with a pack of the makeup wipes she usually used and he’d steal. He’d figured it was about time to be the one to buy the replacements. “Ah! And you got the face mask I like.” Her eyes were wide and bright as she bounced on her toes, smacking a kiss to his stubbly cheek before looking back down at the holographic packaging. He’d hoped he had gotten the right one when he’d seen a sale on them when on his way to the check out counter. It was worth the little bit of money to feel her lips for a moment. “Thank you, H. You’re the best, as usual.”
“The hell am I?” Niall scoffed, wiping his hands dry after washing them.
“You’re great too, but he got me the face masks I like and they usually sell out. So he’s a bit higher up in points today.” She placated him, brushing past him to put them in the bathroom. “Harry, plate up the pizza, pretty please!”
As soon as she had disappeared, Niall shot him a look. “When are you two gonna make it official?” He whispered. “The heat eyes bouncin’ off the both of you is sickening at this point. She’s turned you soft.”
Harry settled with a glare, placing two slices on the paper plate and sliding it over to him. “Eventually. Her whole life is shifting. Can’t do shit right now without rattling her.” It was the first time he admitted or even hinted at having feelings for her besides point blank telling anyone who came around that she wasn’t available. Y/N didn’t know he did that though.
“Thank fuck you don’t still have your head up your arse. I was worried you’d never admit you’re gone for her.” He faked wiping sweat off his head making the other man roll his eyes. “She’ll be happy, H. You don’t have to worry about her rejecting you. Just go on and do it. She talks about you like you hang the moon every night at this point even when you aren’t around.”
A weakness he’d spotted, Harry stood a bit straighter before leaning in. “She does? What does she say?” Oh, he hated how desperate he sounded to hear the answer but the fluttering in his stomach made him insisting on finding out.
“Oh, how thoughtful and kind and generous you are and how you’re the best person she knows, all of that. She stares at her phone and waits for texts from you when she comes out and you’re working, gets these huge smiles or giggles when you do. or tries to get everyone to move the party to your bar.”
That last part, he’d hoped for. He liked the idea of her wanting to be physically close to him and suggesting everyone come and see him, but knowing she did the same thing he did when waiting for messages from him soothed a piece of him. He wasn’t alone in it. It was hard sometimes for him to decipher her behavior considering she was genuinely so friendly with everyone and he didn’t want to flatter himself and think it he was special… but apparently he was.
He didn’t have a chance to answer when Y/N glided from the bathroom, finding her spot on the kitchen barstools. “What did I miss?”
“Nothin’, Babe. Just chatting shit.” He murmured, sliding her a plate with her pizza of choice on it. “Figured we’d go to the grocery tomorrow, yeah? It’s a bit sparse in here with the food.” He had the next day off and intended on spending it with her. They’d made lots of progress today and had 80% of the place unpacked, but he knew she liked those restocking videos online. “Think they’ve got those organizers back in stock.”
“Oh!” She gasped.”Yes, you genius. I’ll need your help though, strong man. I like the one trip wonder.” It was a tease considering she knew Harry hated making multiple trips up with bags.
“Lucky for you, you’ve got a lift now and I’ve got that collapsible wagon.” Reaching out he gently flicked her nose for being a brat. “So we won’t have t’worry about that.”
—-----
Y/N was either very oblivious or a tease. Harry could never fully figure out which one.
He sat on her bed, messing with her telly when she emerged from the shower in her little cotton shorts and one of his shirts. It was one he’d just been looking for last week, actually, an old Iron Maiden one with a few holes in the collar area. Unmistakably his. The faded gray complimented her skin, looking extra cozy on her as her powder blue plush bunny slippers flopped against the ground and she made her way to her skincare desk.
“You little thief.” He grumbled from the bed, leaning against her headboard. “I was searching everywhere for that last week.” Though he had narrowed eyes she would know he was only teasing.
“You left it with me, remember? I ended up packing it so I wouldn’t forget it but… It’s super comfy.” She smiled guiltily at him, spinning in her chair. “Is it okay if I wear it? It still smells like your cologne and it helps me sleep sometimes…”
Ah, a shot to the heart.
Y/N didn’t know what it did to him to know he was an aid in good sleep. That it both made his heart stutter and his cock throb at the sight of her wrapped up in his clothing like she had all the rights to it. Like he was her boyfriend and she liked to wear it to remember him. Her scent had a similar effect on him, leaving it in his sheets when she stayed over, “Totally okay, lovely.” He smiled gently. “M’just teasing you. Though it does wonders for my ego to know you like my cologne that much.”
He knew he was making her a little flustered considering she didn’t look right at him, but he thrived off of that. Knowing he made an impact on her like that made him feel just a bit more confident that she felt similarly to him. There was no answer from her, but he wasn’t done with her quite yet. Standing up with a groan, he made his way over to her little makeup and skincare set up, placing his hands on the back of her chair. “What are you putting on your face?” He asked curiously, looking over her head to the products she had neatly organized.
“Well, first I wipe with one of these toning pads.” She opened the little tub, using a tiny pair of clear tongs to grab one. “You don’t want to be sticking your fingers in there and potentially making them all dirty so it came with this little thing. You give it a few passes over your t zone.” She showed him as she did it, Harry watching diligently in the mirror.
“Mmm. Then what? You’re always doin’ all of this fancy stuff to your face. Figure that's why your skin is so pretty.” He let his fingers fiddle with a few strands of hair.
“Thank you.” She said sheepishly, picking up a smaller tube. “Um, I use this undereye cream to help with puffiness and brightening. Its soothing. I apply it with the smallest finger though, because while I’m not afraid of wrinkles it’s the weakest fingers and the skin under your eyes is more delicate.”
Huh. “Didn’t know what.” He was actually learning something from this.
“Mhm. Why do you think I tell you to go gentle when you use the makeup remover?” A smile tilted up one side of her lips a bit further, eyes focused on the mirror in front of her. She pretended not to notice the slight shiver he gave her when he leaned down, letting his face get more level with hers- but he did. He noticed anything he could. “A-And then I use some vitamin C stuff for brightening, a serum and a cream. I use the little fan to make it dry faster so it isn’t sticky.” She pointed to the mini pink fan he’d always noticed. He’d just assumed it was for when she got hot. “Do you… Would you like me to use some of it on you when I’m done?”
She sounded hesitant to ask which he understood. Not a lot of the guys in their friend circle would want that, but he wasn’t that insecure about himself that he’d say no to someone pampering him. Especially not when it meant Y/N getting close to him. “Sure, sweets. I’d love that. Reckon my skin needs it.”
“What do you usually do with it?” She asked curiously, meeting his eye in the mirror.
“Makeup remover, wash my face, that cream you left at my place if I remember.”
“It’s not fair you have the skin you do.” She huffed, shaking her head. “Cruel, actually.” It kind of was. He got long lashes too, which she always complained about. “Go and wash your face first, heathen.”
Harry let out a small laugh before going off to do that. Returning with a fresh face, he stood in his prior position, watching her finish up the routine before holding the fan closer to her face to finish it off. It was an interesting process he hadn’t paid much mind to before, but then again, she didn’t bring every single thing to his place either.
After putting her hair up in a claw clip, she stood up from the plushy chair and motioned for him to sit down. He did as asked, feeling her residual warmth as she lined up the products for them. “Okay, so we start with the toner pad.” She gently pushed him to lean back in the chair, her face coming closer to his as she delicately swiped it over his cheeks and nose. He was getting an up close look at her, noticing the scar near her eyebrow and a few spots on her face. It made him warm up a bit, being able to see her so close when she was awake. Usually this level of observation was reserved for when she was asleep. “Oi, keep your head up.”
“Sorry.” He laughed, avoiding the impulse to move the chair back and forth. He liked to swing on it at times.
“Wait- how about this.” Without giving it much thought, she gripped the chair and swung it over to turn his body to the side, helping herself to straddle his lap. “This seems a little easier, no?” Fingers gently tipped his chin up, eyes focused on her motions.
Harry’s breath had disappeared. No longer available, he felt her sitting on top of his thighs, innocent as ever as she went through the motions. Tender with her movements and pressure, she was treating him like porcelain while giving him a little makeover. He should be focused on how nice the products felt on his skin, but his mind was elsewhere.
She smelled amazing, as usual, but having it this close up was a little hard for him. Yes, she sat on his lap before- but not in his shirt, with her thighs on display and tiny little shorts. She didn’t straddle him before either, didn’t let his mind wander to places it shouldn’t. All his energy was focused on trying to ensure she didn’t feel the stiffy that was quickly growing in his pants.
“I can’t believe how good you’re being for me, H.” She whispered. “No whining or anything.” Her smile was soft as she wiped the serum over his face. “You’re so pretty.”
Fuck. He swallowed thickly, trying desperately to not let his cock construe those words into the filthy praise kink he had, but it appeared to be a bit too late for that. She had no idea what she was doing to him and he didn’t want to be a perv, but god damn. If the girl continued, there would be no denying that he’d cream his damn pants. Being pet on, feeling her brush his hair off his forehead while she stroked his face and adjusted his position to where she wanted… He was only so strong. “Thanks.” He murmured, trying to keep his composure.
“Of course.” She beamed, seeming pleased. “I’m surprised you’re letting me do this, but you’re full of surprises.” It seemed like she didn’t know the battle he was facing internally, which was his goal, but that was soon to be ruined. “Hold on a second.” Shifting slightly on his lap, she stood up momentarily before sliding further up. “Sorry, I was falling down a bit-”
Harry hadn’t meant to, he really fucking didn’t. But she sat right on top of him, squirming a bit. Giving his dick a bit of friction, making his hands grip her hips and sit her down hard to stop the movement. He couldn’t open his eyes, couldn’t face her as he heard the hitch in her breath. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Sorry, I didn’t- I promise m’not being a creep or anything.” He winced. “Just been a while and uh-”
“Hey, it’s okay.” Her voice rang out, fingers brushing through his hair. “H, look at me. I’m not mad.” Of course, her words were sweet and syrupy, going right to his dick yet again. Y/N had no fucking idea how much she effected him, how many times he’d thought about her in this positon and how guilty he felt that he’d turned a sweet moment into something like this. “C’mon. You don’t need to be embarrassed.”
He took a moment before opening his eyes, looking at her face. Studying it, making sure she wasn’t uncomfortable. Her hand cupped the side of his face, a slight pout on her pretty lips. Y/N didn’t seem upset about it, seeing as she sat still and could most definitely feel his cock under her. He could feel her cunt over him, hot through the fabric and he was doing everything in his power to be fucking normal.
“There you are.” The tables had finally turned. Harry was the shy one in this moment and Y/N was the one seemingly not freaked out. “It’s a natural body function, H. I know you’re not some kind of perv. I sat on your lap, remember?” She soothed his nerves. “Besides, I’m flattered. Was beginning to think you thought I was some kind of troll or something.” The smile kicked up on her face, but his frown deepened.
“The fuck? Why would you think that?” Brows furrowed, he didn’t like that she thought he didn’t find her attractive. He called her pretty quite a bit.
“Well, I’m not your type. You go for all those tattooed girls with the bad ass attitudes, which is cool cause I think they’re hot too but… I’m all soft and squishy, y’know? I like the soft things, kinda the opposite of you so I just thought I wasn’t someone you’d be attracted to. M’nothing like what you go for.” She didn’t seem offended by this, rather stating it matter of fact- but Harry couldn’t believe how wrong she was. He had to wonder how long she thought this.
While he was secretly pining after her, she was thinking he was going off to get blowies by the girls that flirted with him which, sometimes he did. At the beginning of their friendship, he tried to stave off those feelings for her by getting someone else underneath him, fucking away the frustration but he learned fairly quickly that none of it did much when his mind was on someone else. It’d been months at this point. Sure, he liked a bit of flirting to boost his ego, but that was only when Y/N was preoccupied.
“Well, you’re wrong.” He said sternly. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Dunno where the troll idea came in when m’always staring at you.” He scoffed. “No more of that bullshit. Wouldn’t be hard if I didn’t think you were stunning. Trust me.” In fact, she was the only thing that got him hard these days. Thinking of her mouth, her thighs, her tits, her ass, anything. Even her hands, for fucks sake. “Don’t ever doubt how beautiful you are t’me. Pisses me off.”
“Sorry.” She bleated, pouting back at him. “I didn’t mean to. It’s just.. You call me pretty but I never would have thought you meant it like that. I like that you let me cuddle you and stuff so obviously I know you aren’t repulsed by me but, I dunno.” She swallowed, looking down at his bare chest. “I’m sorry for getting you… if you’re uncomfortable.”
God, he was mucking this up wasn’t he? He shook his head, letting his thumbs rub over her hips as he softened his face. “No, sweets. Don’t apologize. S’not a big deal, I’m not mad at you. Just don’t like the idea of you thinking poorly of yourself. You’re fucking stunning.” So stunning that his cock was still hard under her. “I’ll go take care of it when we’re done, but no more squirming. Okay?” Squeezing her, he tried to rectify the situation. “No more fussing.”
“But…” Y/N’s lips twisted slightly, sliding her hands down to his shoulders. “That’s not fair.”
Harry blinked a few times, looking her over hesitantly. “What d’you mean? I’m okay, pet.”
“Well, It’s my fault that you’re like this.” She protested. “I can fix it, if you want. Haven’t given too many blowies before, but I can take instruction pretty well.”
Harry truly thought he was dreaming for a moment, his face hot as she gave him an innocent look. Like she meant it, though it slightly embarrassed her for not having a lot of experience. But feeling her shift on him clued him back into reality. This was real. “You- You don’t have to do anything for me, Y/N.” He was holding on by a string. “You didn’t mean to do it. It’s not your responsibility to get me off just because my cock’s got a mind of his own.”
Y/N huffed again, shaking her head. “I want to. Can I?” Her face shifted slightly. “You’re not making me do anything. It would make me feel better If i could take care of you.” Her eyes met his. “I mean it. Promise.”
And god, if Harry was a stronger man he’d lift her off his lap and insist on taking care of it himself. He’d explain that it could make lines blurry and he liked her a bit more than a friend and they’d have that talk. But he wasn’t a stronger man, and she rolled her hips on him again with a hum, making his head fall back when she repeated the action. “Fuck.” He whispered under his breath. “As long as.. As long you’re sure. I don’t want you to regret it or anything.”
“I won’t.” She peeped. “I like making you feel good, Harry.” Her face seemed brighter as she watched him nod.
“Go on then, sweetheart.” He sighed. “I’ll show you what I like.”
Never in a million years had he expected her to be visibly excited, slipping off his lap and on to her knees in front of him. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Eyes looked up at him with curiosity, hands running over his thighs as she waited for direction. He’d dreamt of this so many times, stroked off in the bathroom to this very mental image to get his load out quicker. His cock pulsed inside his sweats. This was really happening. “M’not wearing briefs under these.” He warned, pushing the waistband down as he slowly tugged himself out of the pants. His hand was slightly shaky ass he gave himself a squeeze at the base, a soft hiss leaving his teeth when her hand covered his own.
“I’ve only done it a few times but…” Her eyes widened. “Yours is the prettiest I’ve seen.”
And fuck if that didn’t get him going. Harry took pride in his dick, as a lot of men did, but to get that compliment was better than anything else. His hair was normally trimmed shorter, but it had been a while. It was groomed a bit at the base, his happy trail leading up his stomach. “Thank you.” He mumbled, removing his hand and letting hers take over. Y/N was eager and that much was obvious, feeling her give him a few strokes as she shuffled closer in between his spread thighs. “I- I probably won’t last long. I wasn’t lying, it’s been a while.” And he’d imagined her in this position so many times that he was programmed to get off to it quickly.
“That’s okay. You’re quite big so it’ll be better for my jaw.” She giggled. Fucking giggled while her thumb rubbed over the slit, making him shudder. He’d always imagined she’d be much more shy in this situation, but again he was proven wrong. “What do you like?”
Honestly? He could cum just like this. Her stroking him slow, looking up at him with that pretty little face. Splatter her pretty face with pearly strings leaking from the slit of his cock, let it drip down her cheeks and chin. But she wouldn’t like that answer. “I’m okay with anything you give me, but I… I like to hear you.” He swallowed, a shaky exhale leaving his nose. “And uh, a bit wet. If that’s something you’d like.”
Y/N looked like she was taking note, nodding at his words. “I want to know what you like, m’okay with anything.” She smiled. “I knew you had to be big cause.. Y’know you’ve got the energy. And I’ve felt it a few times when we cuddle, before you wake up. It’s just different to see it.” Y/N leaned her head on his thigh, continuing to jerk him off. “I’ll probably choke a little bit, cause you’re the biggest I’ve taken. It’s okay though, I’ll be fine. I’ll pinch your tummy or somthin’ if I need a second to breathe.”
Who the fuck was she? Y/N had never, ever shown or hinted at being filthy in her life, but here she was. Talking about choking on his cock. He throbbed in her hand, making her eyebrows raise. “You liked that. Noted.” Leaning forward, she kept eye contact with him as she dragged her pink tongue from the base up to the tip, letting it sit there for a moment before she pulled away, giving him a few more strokes. “You can show me what you like too. Don’t be shy about it, H. I want you to feel good.”
Harry nearly lost it as he watched those gorgeous lips purse, spitting right over the tip. It slipped down his length before her hand caught it, stroking and spreading it over his cock. Filthy, filthy things filled his tongue immediately, but he tried to pace himself. “Fuck me…” He whispered, gently gathering her hair in his hand. “I didn’t know you had this in you, gorgeous.” It nearly bowled him over. “Can you.. Take it in your mouth. Suck the tip for me. I want to see that.”
Normally, he had no problem being a cocky, arrogant man. He was dominant most of the time with his hook ups- but Y/N wasn’t just a hook up to him. She was special. He didn’t want to do a single thing to potentially fuck this up. He wanted her to like this, to see how much he liked it too. She had no problems following instructions, the man watching as her lips stretched around the tip and dipped down a bit as she suckled on it. A soft hum left her mouth and vibrated over him as he curled the hair around his fist, making him groan. “Yeah, jus’ like that, angel. Fuck.” He kept his eyes on her as she bobbed shallowly, taking moments to rub her tongue over his leaking slit. “You’re so good, so sweet t’me. Can’t believe you’re doin’ this.”
Y/N pulled off the tip, lips wet as she peered up at him. “I’ve thought about it before.” She whispered, lapping over the side of his length. “Wanted to see your cock. I knew it’d be pretty.”
What the fuck? Harry’s brian felt fried, completely caught off guard by this information. Sure, he had thought maybe once or twice she was teasing him but it wasn’t often. Y/N was just so sugary sweet and kind, a slight air of innocence, and… Now she was telling him she’d thought about sucking him off before. “You have?”
“Mhm.” She stroked him a bit firmer, the slick sound of her hand around his wet cock getting louder. “I heard.. Heard rumors and felt left out. You like me the best but you never asked me to do anything.” Rubbing the tip over her pouted lips, Harry was shocked yet again.
“Cause y’mean more to me than any of the other people.” He swallowed. “Too fuckin’ sweet. I like you the best, you’re right but.. You’re my sweet girl. Didn’t want t’use you for anything like that. Would break my heart if I hurt you and you’d not want to see me again.”
“What if I wanted you to use me?” She asked, peering up at him with those eyes. They drove him absolutely mad. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me unless I asked, H. You’re so good to me… I just want to be good for you too.” Taking the tip back into her mouth, she pushed herself down further and he felt his stomach clench. It took him off guard, feeling the hot mouth take him down and bob herself against him, a soft hum vibrating over him.
“Oh- Fuck.” He let out a broken groan, leaning further back into the chair. “You are, baby, you fucking are. Hot little mouth… shit.” She whimpered around his cock at his words, sucking a little harder as her hand stroked the rest of him. She liked that. “What is it, hm? Like when I call you baby? When I tell you how perfect you are?” His words got a bit darker. He was slipping into another headspace and Y/N seemed to be coaxing it on.
She did a half ass nod, not pulling off his length as she continued. Harry wouldn’t have guessed in a million years that she’d be a greedy girl like this, but he was incredibly thankful that she was. “You are. Such a good girl, so gorgeous with your mouth stretched around my cock. Didn’t know you were gagging for it, baby. Should’ve told me.” He chuckled darkly. “Wouldn’t have wasted my loads in the shower before comin’ t’bed with you. Could’ve pushed into your needy mouth and let you swallow it down.”
Y/N moaned around his prick, eyes watering slightly as she looked at him. He’d never seen a better sight. “You’re so beautiful, angel. So pretty. Didn’t know such a filthy thing could have you lookin’ even more beautiful.” His throat felt thick as his cock throbbed in her mouth. “Fuck, you don’t even know how many times I’ve thought about it.”
Y/N pulled off, panting slightly as webs of saliva connected her mouth to his cock. “How much?” Her voice was a little hoarse, but he could hear that she was desperate to know. “You- You could have. I don’t want you to waste it anymore.” There was the tiny bit of shyness coming back in. “If umm, if you think I’m good enough at this. I’ll do it.”
“Fuck me, baby.” His thumb wiped over her spit soaked lips, breaking the threads of spit as he caressed her cheek. “All the fucking time. S’the only thing that gets me off.” Confessions he hadn’t thought he’d be saying so soon, let alone before he’d ever kissed her, spilled from him. “You’re doing amazing. More than good enough, too fucking good for me.” He couldn’t believe she was offering. “You sure you want t’be the one to take care of it?”
“Yes, I want it. I don’t want anyone else to do it.” She pleaded. “I’ll be the best for you. Just- you can tell me and I’ll suck you or, or anything you want.” Harry tested it, gently pushing her head back towards his prick- which she immediately took back in her mouth. The perfect, wet heat bringing him back to that filthy place in his head.
How could she think he could ever say no? She’d been his weakness since she brought him over that damn cupcake.
“Oh, sweet girl. Anything?” He cooed. “Dangerous thing to promise me. Don’t want anyone else to do it either.” His breathing was getting harder, trying not to thrust his hips up into her mouth and make her take it all. Sure, she’d probably do it, but he still felt the need to be delicate with her. “Take a little more for me, baby. Just like- there, there you go.” He praised, mouth falling open as she did exactly what he wanted. “Gonna make me cum.”
This felt a million times better than rubbing one out in her bathroom. His legs were near vibrating, the wet sound of her mouth taking him down and the clicks of her hand stroking his spit soaked cock filling her bedroom. This was the last thing he’d expected was her on her knees for him tonight and part of him wasn’t convinced it wasn’t a wet dream, but he was thanking whatever higher power that was up there that his sweet girl had a dirty side to her. One he wanted to be the only one privileged enough to see.
“In my mouth.” She gasped, pulling up for a moment. “Want to taste you. Please?”
How could he ever tell her no?
Pushing her back down on his cock, he let his hips rise up and shallowly thrust into her mouth as she moaned around him, drooling down her chin and letting him use her the way he needed to get off. The best part was knowing she was enjoying it so much. It was a miracle he’d lasted this long already, but he attributed that to shock. She was dirty, his sweet girl, choking slightly on his cock as the tip hit her throat, but she made no move to want to stop.
His last straw, though, was feeling her hand over his balls, whining around him as he let out his deepest groan yet. It was sloppy and messy and so fucking good that he felt lightheaded, tummy hot and legs weak as he felt himself approach his end. “Fuck, jus’ like that, your fucking mouth is perfect… fuck, fuck, fuck, baby- M’gonna cum, gonna cum, gonna-” His voice failed as his head fell back, lifting his hips as his cum began to pour into her mouth. Ribbon after ribbon coating her throat, pulling back a bit to get it on her tongue while she worked him through it.
He didn’t realize he had so much in him, but perhaps it was just Y/N that made him cum this much. This hard. His ears rung a bit, curses leaving his mouth as he watched her mouth open and hand stroke him to see the pearly mess on her tongue. At the last little bit,he used his grip on her hair to tug her up to his face.
“C’mere, sweet girl. Share with me, don’t be greedy.” holding her face while the other had her hair, he pulled back into his lap and her mouth to his and groaned as she licked over his tongue, sharing the remnants of his load with him. It was something a bit nasty and deprived, he knew, but Y/N merely moaned back, her clean hand curling around the back of his neck.
The kisses slowed from frantic and hot, to softer, slow and sweet. Pecking her lips over and over again, her whimpers melted into giggled as he untangled from her hair, sliding his hand under the shirt she had on to get some bare skin on his fingertips. “Sweetest thing, most beautiful girl.” He murmured between kisses. “Thank you. Best I’ve ever had.”
“You’re jus’ saying that.” She whispered, though the smile was difficult to wipe off her face. Obviously she liked praise just as much as him.
“Nope. Mean every word.” He confirmed, rubbing his nose over her cheek. “Thank you, baby. Felt so damn good, can’t feel my legs now.” Harry’d never felt like this after a blowie, both in his legs and the fondness he felt for the girl. If there had been any doubts about his feelings for her whatsoever, they were shattered. He was so far gone for her, it was pathetic.
“Good.” She smiled, feeling the kiss to his cheek. “I need to finish your skincare, though. So tuck yourself back in, cause m’gonna do that and then brush my teeth again. Though.. I can tell you’ve got a good diet. Tasted nice.”
Though Harry knew cum never really tasted good, he was chuffed that she hadn’t minded. Even more, that she hadn’t minded indulging in sharing with him. “M’not selfish, I need to help you too.” He reminded, though she merely shook her head.
“I’ll take a raincheck. M’so tired now, and I want to enjoy it fully.” Pecking his cheek in return, she picked up the moisturizer. “Think you need a lip mask too. Thankfully, you’re in the right hands.”
Harry was sometimes a selfish lover with hookups and he could admit that, but with Y/N he never wanted to be that way. He wanted to make her feel good, but he could wait. It only made him anticipate it more- there would be a next time.
“Okay, sweets.” He chuckled. “Do whatever you’d like.”
#jarofstyles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles writing#harry smut#harry fluff#harry angst#harry styles au#harry styles fluff#harry styles oneshots#harry styles one shots#harry styles fanfictions
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Second Time's the Crime - By Nagare Ebi (7.5/10)
This is an intense and gory horror story featuring two very different obsessive men, but it loses points because the romance isn't very believable. You know who the endgame love interest is right away, and it's the boring one. The "heroic" yandere doesn't get enough character development. The psychological pain and real violence on display makes the romance feel like background noise.
Shiki is a poor little victim in the beginning. A wealthy but abused wife. It LOOKS like her 35 year old husband pounced on her when she was 19 because he needed a convenient bride. It LOOKS like he married her to cover up his debauched lifestyle.
It's...too much?
It's suspicious from chapter two. Kaoru is a handsome older man who didn't need to get married at all. He abuses his young wife. He cheats on her. He makes her eat a raw egg in one of his first scenes, but he's loving to her before he goes to work.
It's almost like he's performing for an audience, but there's nobody there. Just him and his terrified wife.
It's almost like....torturing her is his hobby?
It was a fairytale romance. Her parents were over the moon. She didn’t have money. He's got lots. He was mature and romantic and he dated her seriously before they got hitched.
He started abusing her days after the wedding....with joy in his eyes???
Shiki doesn't bother with the details. She obviously assumes he's just a lying pervert that wanted a submissive wife.
That's what it LOOKS like.
The pain she goes through changes her. She figures out that he's a cheater. Of course he is. He owns a fashion magazine. He works with models every day.
....when he sleeps with those models he calls them by her name...
Why would she know little details like that?
All she knows is the pain, and the desire for it to end.
She wants to die, but someone else has been watching her. She goes to the movie theater alone alot, and she has an admirer there.
It's a man who thinks she should kill her husband. Saku comes from a broken family. His mother died after years of abuse, and his father was never prosecuted. He's also very in love with Shiki. He's willing to help her kill her husband, because she's beautiful and he wants to see her happy.
They actually have a pretty good relationship, because the story goes nuts.
Saku doesn't whisk Shiki away and protect her.
He can't. Shiki has to protect him too.
Kaoru is willing to kill for Shiki too. There's a tracker in her phone. He removed all of her friends from her life too, so when Saku tries to run away with her Kaoru hunts them down. He's a little too prepared. He catches her every time like he's a one man military group.
It becomes clear that this isn't some average "abusive husband" story.
Of course the main characters make it clear that Kaoru is an abuser. He doesn't deserve to be forgiven and Shiki should divorce him. She just can't, because Kaoru will kill her, her allies and possibly himself if she runs.
He's not a normal man.
He really does love her. Just not in a sane way. Shiki will never understand him, and she shouldn't. He absolutely hid his unstable side from her to lure her in, and he doesn’t deserve any pity.
Shiki soon realizes her husband is serious. He almost kills Saku more than once.....so she returns to him because she's worried for Saku. Shiki starts to develop way more than Saku. By the end of the story Saku is just a hostage. A pawn in Kaoru and Shiki's psychological battle. It was unexpected, and very cool.
Shiki isn't nobly sacrificing herself. Oh no. She protects Saku and she decides to kill her husband on her own. She doesn't want to involve the innocent man she's falling for.
Kaoru shocks her when he installs security cameras inside. He brings out a leg restraint, and he says they will be happy together...forever.
She pulls a knife on him, and it ends up in her stomach.
Kaoru is unnaturally prepared, and experienced with violence. As a reader I started to question his family business. Kaoru can't be some spoiled model agency heir. He's just too good at fighting...
Shiki doesn't stop trying, no matter how crazy the battle gets. If Kaoru won't divorce her she'll kill him. The issue is he doesn't care at all. If she doesn’t love him he'll earn her love back. Saku is just an obstacle that will fall before him, because he always gets his way. This is his love. He will spend the rest of his life showing his wife how much he loves her....through violence.
That's how his family raised him, so it has to be real love.
Right?
Shiki and Saku get dragged into Kaoru's forest mansion. The apartment he owns with Shiki is just their love nest. His real playground is huge, and it's staffed by criminals. People who accept his orders because nobody else hires criminals.
Shiki convinces the butler and the head maid.
Violent love will never be enough.
Kaoru will kill her if they don't help her.
The butler seems to believe love will prevent her death, but Shiki convinces him to see reason. Eventually, all of the wounds will catch up to her. Head trauma. Infections. His torturous love will end her eventually, after years of total agony.
The butler sees sense first. Then the maid. Even still Kaoru is ridiculously strong, smart and scary. He's not easy to beat, even with allies.
There's a second wedding, and the mansion goes up in flames AND HE STILL DOESN'T DIE!
He starts to beg for Shiki's love, after he finally notices he lost her to Saku. Somehow the violence escalates even more.
Shiki starts to pity her broken husband.
I think he might end up in a mental hospital, with pictures of Shiki and occasional visits from her or something? Then we'll see her enjoying life with Saku.
I do want Kaoru to die, but like ten chapters were dedicated to his sad backstory sooooooo....
#yandere#male yandere#yandere male#yandere boy#recommendations#recs#rec#recommended#Second Time's the Crime
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𝓀𝒾𝓉𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝓂𝒶𝓇𝑒 - j j k
They say the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach - but can the jjk characters cook?
ɢᴇᴛᴏ ꜱᴜɢᴜʀᴜ
Geto can cook - if by cooking you mean instant ramen or maybe if he’s feeling adventurous, a fried egg. He is fully aware of his lack of culinary skills and doesn’t even attempt to cook anything.
ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ
This man - domestic god. But - don’t come into his kitchen. This is not a cute ‘hey let’s cook together’ scenario. He is in the zone - will serve you a whole 3 course meal with perfectly paired wine. Incredible skills, makes the best bread but absolutely will not allow you near him while he cooks.
ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴍᴇɢᴜᴍɪ
Eh - can make sandwiches, maybe some pasta dishes. Simple stuff, healthy stuff too. He’s not awful, not great. Definition of a week night cook.
ɢᴏᴊᴏ ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ
No.
ɪᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ ʏᴜᴜᴊɪ
An incredible cook. Can’t bake to save his life but fantastic otherwise. Also, a surprisingly tidy and efficient cook? Not always the healthiest, lots of really yummy stuff though.
ɴᴏʙᴀʀᴀ ᴋᴜɢɪꜱᴀᴋɪ
Can only make cookies. That’s it. But like - they’re good cookies. More of an eat out kinda girl.
ᴛᴏᴊɪ ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ
Actually - not the worst. But like - a food is fuel kinda guy unless he’s at some fancy ass restaurant where he’s not paying. He’s a meat and rice for protein and carbs kinda man.
ᴍᴀᴋɪ ᴢᴇɴɪɴ
Growing up how she grew up, as a Zen’in female child - she had to learn to cook. Both her and Mai were in the kitchen helping prepare meals so yeah, she can cook. Now, she hates it. It makes her feel like she’s back there - she is similar to Toji and Megumi really (a defected Zen’in trait) in that she eats healthily, balanced meals - probably meal preps too.
ɪᴇɪʀɪ ꜱʜᴏᴋᴏ
Also, no.
ɪɴᴜᴍᴀᴋɪ ᴛᴏɢᴇ
Yeah he’s decent - likes to cook with people, really enjoys baking. It’s more of like, a fun activity for him - he usually ends up baking stuff with Panda and occasionally Yuuta. Makes sweet stuff a lot, uses it to bribe Gojo.
ᴄʜᴏꜱᴏ
He’s got the spirit! He was born like - a few months ago, so he’s no idea what he’s doing! But he will learn! It’s something Yuuji loves doing so he will do it with him. I feel like as a death painting womb he doesn’t NEED to eat - but he enjoys it, thinks exploring tastes and things is fun. Very wholesome. Becomes obsessed with learning about nutrition so he can keep people healthy.
ʏᴜᴜᴛᴀ ᴏᴋᴋᴏᴛꜱᴜ
This man is a mom cook. He makes big servings of very hearty meals that will fill you right up (get your mind out of the gutter). It’s so yummy, real cosy, curl up by the fire kinda food. Signature thing he makes is banana bread.
ꜱᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ
If you want raw fucking meat then maybe? Absolutely not, wouldn’t not eat anything this man put near me.
#jjk#jjk x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#geto suguru#jjk headcanons#nanami kento#megumi fushiguro#yuuji itadori#maki zenin#choso x reader
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"Supernova trio stranded on the wild island"
Law: Alright. We need to find water source first. Then build a camp nearby, but not too close to avoid the mosquito attack. Then we should check surroundings for food. Our best course of actions is to look for bird nests and eat the eggs in them. Do not eat any berry, they might be poisonous, and under any circumstances DO NOT eat the meat without thermic processing first. Am I being clea-...
Kid and Luffy who's sit on top of freshly killed bear and eating its meat while fully covered in blood: Huh? Why can't we eat raw meat??
Law: ARE FUCKING SHITTIN ME RIGHT NOW-
________________
I hc that Kid and Luffy have pretty similar childhood.
Kid was a feral child, but instead of having home to sleep or people to care about him, he had nothing, but himself. He also considers Killer his brother or just something like a brother. Perhaps he didn't even knew what the brother/sister/father/mother was, so he just figured that Killer is something that Kid don't want kill.
Killer wasn't a feral child from his birth like Kid was, but instead was left alone on the island by his parents. He knew a lot and was hanging out with Kid to not feel lonely and in danger all the time. Of course, wild life got him twisted too, but he's still pretty intelligent.
They grow protective of each other, hanging out, playing and fighting with the others.
I headcanon that their home was more of the trash island than the solid ground. There was enough of garbage to freely stand on it, but you could sometimes sink deep inside the trashy deep seas.
Killer just noticed that Kid loved doing stuff with the garbage, so he scavenged some engineering book and gifted to Kid. He went "The fuck's a book?", "It's a tones of paper glued together with words, that contains information. This one contains information about engineering", " The fuck's words???". They had to go... Through a lot of explanations Killer's childish brain could come up with. But Kid liked the gift when he understood what he was reading. He actually build a toy robot and was so happy about it. He decided to give it to Killer as a thank you present.
Then they met Victoria who became "a girl they don't want to kill so she can hang with them", and yes, Killer thought of them like siblings.
They kicked some asses, made friendships and alliances, had adventures and made promises to become pirates together.
And then Victoria dies. But unlike Sabo she dies for real. And Kid is devastated. Firstly, because he never thought that someone's death could make him feel so bad (and there were a lot of people and animals dying in here), and secondly, because he loved her dearly. And Killer as the most level-headed person in here (also really devastated, but had to remain calm, because Kid needed him) just stayed there trying to snap him out of it, but the only thing that Kid heard was a fainted "Kid!.. Kid?.. Kid. Don't look at her. Look at me. Look. At. Me. Calm down. I'm here. Please, just calm down. Please". When Kid finally looked at him he just saw how fucking scared and panicked and dirty and wet and bloody his friend was, and it just snapped him out of it.
Kid just brought together the other gang's and defeated the biggest and most dangerous gang in the whole island. I like to believe that after that he couldn't even look at Killer's face again, because the only thing he saw was his face that night. Killer was devastated and hurting much more. He was much intelligent and smart and clearly understood some things better than Kid did, and that's why Kid thought that something that Killer was going through was much worse than he had it. And Kid swore to become much stronger to never see that expression on Killer's face again. And Killer just understood that Kid would never look at his face as usual again, so he just covered it with mask, to make it easier for Kid to look him in the eyes, even if it was just holes.
I like to think that Kid, just like Law, sees Victoria in Luffy: the energetic, stubborn and freedom loving. At first he showed some interest in him, but then just made some parallels, and only then grew much more angry at Luffy for the things none of them couldn't control.
Ouch, that went too far into the angst from the funny silly feral boys doing funny silly feral stuff when their unferal and depressed boyfriend just being angry at them for breaking a lot of sanitary norms.
#one piece#monkey d. luffy#trafalgar law#eustass kid#supernova trio#one piece headcanons#kid is feral#killer's too#we need to know more about VICTORIA#hc there's a lot of parallels in Kid's and Luffy's past
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Donna Beneviento x Fem!Reader: While I'm Around
Summary: Donna Beneviento + 122 — “I’m not going anywhere.”
AO3
Prompts found here!
A/N: One thing I can never get enough of in Donna fics is Angie. Yes, she's creepy as hell, but I love that little doll.
Full Ficmas List
Tag List: @multifandomfix @escapetodreamworld @ghostsunderstoodmysoul
Warning(s): Blood mention
Your lips part in a silent scream. Pain suffuses your entire body and you hunch over, clutching at your now-bleeding leg. Angie giggles maniacally and takes off in the other direction.
“Angie! Get back here!” You yell through the pain.
“No thanks!”
“I’m going to turn you into firewood, I swear!”
You start limping in the direction of where she disappeared, leaving a trail of blood on the hardwood behind you. She really got you good this time. And honestly, it feels a little personal, but you’re too angry to give that thought much power.
“You wish!” Angie calls back, “I’m not going anywhere!”
On a good day, Angie is manageable. Donna’s closeness often curbs her more feral tendencies. But on days like today, when Donna is summoned rather suddenly from the manor, Angie borders on insane.
And despite how much you love her, it makes you want to chain her up in the basement until Donna gets back.
Unfortunately, you were so surprised by Donna’s departure you didn’t stop to consider the option. Now you’re paying the price for it. All of it had started well, actually; Angie had been mellow and toddled after you while you went about tasks, asking questions and making funny, yet outrageous demands. Your favorite had been when she tugged on your pant leg—almost pulling the damn things down—and asked if she could try a raw egg. You said no.
Somewhere along the way her curious and humorous questions descended into madness. One second she’s eating the cooked eggs you made and the next she’s tossing an empty bottle across the room. Trying to wrangle her hadn’t been too hard until her mouth clamped around your ankle; somehow, despite her lack of teeth, she’d done a good amount of damage.
Now, you find yourself in the curious predicament of finding her.
You can hear her giggling as if she’s all around you. It’s eerie. You hate to admit it, but her lack of control scares you a little bit, and you miss Donna. The problem is she’s unreachable when she’s in a meeting.
“Angie,” You call, turning at the slightest of sounds, “Come out!”
Turning, something dark in your peripheral vision catches your attention. Your eyes widen with horror as you stare.
Angie’s in the walls.
You fall to your knees and stick your hand in the hole she managed to create in the wall, trying to reach and grab hold of her. It’s a thin space for you, but the perfect size for her to maneuver through them. The fear of her getting stuck seizes you.
If you can’t get her out, or worse, she gets stuck, you’ll have no idea what to tell Donna. She trusted you with the most important piece of her and you let her climb inside the walls where neither of you can reach her.
“Dear?”
A pathetic little shriek leaves your lips. You turn, wide-eyed, to see Donna in her usual garb, watching you with her head tilted.
“Donna!”
A delighted noise comes from somewhere above you, “Donna?!”
Pain erupts in your arm and you yank it back. Angie appears through the hole in the wall like nothing has happened, running to Donna, who crouches to receive her. The doll looks precious being wrapped up in her owner’s arms.
“You’re home!”
“I am,” Donna confirms, voice rough and yet, so gentle, “Why were you in the walls?”
“Nothing. Getting away from her.”
Angie points at you and you throw your hands up.
“Why?”
“What are you, the police?” The doll asks.
“Angie.” Donna warns.
“Ugh. You’re both boring.”
With more attitude than befitting a sentient doll, she crosses her little wooden arms over her chest, and stomps away after being set on the floor. Both you and Donna watch her go. You scowl after her, but can’t help the little grin that breaks out when she’s gone.
Donna stands perfectly patient and silent, hands folded in front of her. You step into her space and carefully fold back the veil of her garb.
Her pale, shy face smiles softly back at you.
“There’s my girl.” You smile sweetly.
Donna blushes. It’s your favorite look on her, even after all this time. She hides behind her veil for everyone else and you think she’s still not used to being seen without it.
“Hello.” You whisper, taking her hands in your own.
“Hello, dear,” She whispers back, “Good day?”
“Interesting for sure. Angie was… energetic.”
“I should’ve taken her. I’m sorry.”
She looks down at her feet and your heart lurches. You’re quick to press a kiss to one cheek… then the other… and then her forehead, and so on until you’ve kissed every inch of available skin and she’s laughing—soft and sweet—with all traces of sadness gone.
Running a careful hand down the side of her face, your fingers play absently with a piece of black lace on her dress. It’s starting to fray from constant use and you frown.��
“Why does Angie act like that when you’re apart?” You ask curiously.
Her eye searches you for any trace of judgment or anger, “Angie and I are the best parts of each other. When we’re separated, we lose those qualities.”
“Donna, I love Angie… but her qualities aren’t what I would call… good.”
“Decisive. Free. Playful.”
Her voice is rougher. She rubs at her throat and attempts to clear it subtly.
“I understand.” You say.
It makes sense to you now and you wonder why it never crossed your mind to ask before. Angie was playful while Donna was calm, thoughtful. They balanced one another. You hadn’t realized sharing the same Cadou would tie them so closely.
Perhaps that’s why you hadn’t balked at Angie in the beginning; you felt they were more similar than different.
The door creaks open, both you and Donna turning. Angie’s eyes peek around the door. When you raise an eyebrow, she walks further into the room.
She stands in front of you and kicks at the floor, “Sorry. I guess.”
“Angie.”
“Sorry.”
You wait for something else; an addition of kinda or maybe. It doesn’t come. Angie looks up and waits. You think she’s waiting for you to say something and make the whole thing okay.
If you’re honest with yourself, everything was okay the second Donna got home. Getting bitten hurt, but you have no desire to hold a grudge over it.
“You’re good, driftwood.” You grin.
“Driftwood?!”
Angie plows into your legs and you’re ready. You laugh, picking her up and swinging like you’re going to throw her, only to keep her in your arms. A grumble leaves her mouth.
Over her head, you catch the look on Donna’s face, and melt. She looks surprised. It makes you wonder how many people have been so cruel, have written her and Angie off so quickly. You refuse to let them feel that again; not while you’re around.
#donna beneviento#donna beneviento x reader#resident evil village#resident evil village x reader#lady beneviento#donna beneviento imagine#re8#resident evil village imagine#resident evil 8#wlw#wlw imagine#dec2022#multimilfswritings#multimilfsficmas2022
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ranking the boxers abilities to cook, worst to best (Wii)
yeah dont take this seriously im evil
Aran Ryan - my god this man needs to be kept away from the kitchen, he sets everything on fire so much that he forgets what hes cooking and fucks it up
Soda Popinski - He def adds soda to everything, mind you soda probably wont go well with bread, he can make a mean stew though
Bear Hugger - dude, he just eats the ingredients raw and calls it a day, thats okay to some extent with lettuce, tomato,Apples, stuff like that, but get meat and eggs involved and it gets worse, unless hes out in the wilderness with a pot and a very shitty campfire, hes not making anything edible
Bald Bull - He can make some basic meals + some traditional dishes if hes looking at a recipe, its not really the best but its not inedible either, there are some hes really good at
Mr Sandman - He used to be as bad as aran with it, but he actually learned how to get better, especially at baking, he used to be a better cook during his teen years but he got rusty since he didnt practice enough thanks to boxing getting in his way
Disco Kid - He used to work as a cook so he has some remaining knowledge from those days, hes very good with vegetables and fruit, not much other than that though
King Hippo - Hippo island has a huge culture built around cooking, And hes no exception! He has studied cooking for years and still does, he has a soft spot for sweets and usually makes dessert, hes good at other kinds of cooking too
Great Tiger - He learnt cooking at a young age since he wanted to help out his parents and be a bit more responsible, so he practiced cooking a lot and got pretty decent at it
Don Flamenco - actually learnt how to properly cook when he first met carmen, She didnt like how he couldnt even make a proper salad without setting anything on fire so she taught him how to cook better, to this day, they still cook together and Don still somehow manages to fuck up something, still good at it though.
Piston Hondo - He had a love for cooking for a long time and still loves it very much, he always cooked with his mom and thinks of it as a fun way to pass time or prepare for matches (dont ask how it just helps)
Von Kaiser - give this man a grill and he'll cook up a feast without you even needing to finish your sentence, he learnt how to cook to take better care of his health since he had a bunch of health problems related to blood pressure and his doctor recommended him to eat healthier
Super Macho Man - this might be suprising but hes actually a great cook! He didnt bother hiring a cook for him since he thought it would be lame, he takes cooking classes weekly so hes rapidly improving
Glass joe - hes a slut for bread, specifically homemade bread, i think that tells you enough
#punch out#headcanon#punch out headcanons#punch out wii#aran ryan#bald bull#don flamenco#piston hondo#glass joe#great tiger
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@restart-the-cycle @keeper-of-magic @angeliteonfridgeduty (Since you seem to be curious about this now . . . )
Lucky spent the last few cycles with me, trying to uncover all the secrets of this butchering chart we found. The results are . . . morbid, to say the least.
- - - - - - - -
-WHITE LIZARD-
Eye - Inedible
Head - Edible, though not worth effort of breaking the skull; Very rich in protein, however
Claws - Generally Inedible
Leg - Little meat, but sweet and somewhat fatty
Chuck - Tender, meaty, and better cooked than raw; Very full flavor
Rib - Full, hearty, meaty flavor that strikes the tongue, despite how little fat is marbled in
Loin - Lean and tender, but bland; Do not eat alone
Tail - Very long strips of mostly fat; What little meat there is tastes wonderful
Spines, etc - Inedible
Tongue - Very rubbery and sticky, but with unrivaled flavor
Organs - None are very appealing, save for the heart, which has a nice gamey taste
RATING: 3/5
Too little meat for a lizard. Overall, though, a sweeter and leaner choice to Pink.
- - - - - - - -
(OOC: There was originally an image to accompany this, but I'm still fighting drawing it and wanted to get this posted because tomorrow is the big reveal lol.
I will post it once I finish it.)
This confirms it. He's eating them. He's dissecting and eating creatures . . . but why?! Why do this, then still have the nerve to lie?
I have to thank Lucky for all this, he confronted Drops about it shortly after. The transcript is below.
-Begin Transcript-
LE: Drops, we need to talk.
NDI: Is it about the dissections? The way I talked to Pages? Ungrateful spoiled little rat, is what she is.
LE: None of that. Look, I swiped one of your notes-
NDI: How DARE you!
LE: Shut up or we'll find out if you're a mobile model as well. Now, look, I swiped one of your notes and you're clearly butchering creatures. You even have the way they taste!
NDI: . . .
LE: Drops. Tell me why.
NDI: . . .
LE: Tell me why or you'll get a fire egg shoved down that bloody maw of yours.
NDI: I was curious. My ancients always wanted me to reflect on their own odd personalities. I never understood it. One day, they gave me a mouth, and it was like something inside of me awoke.
NDI: A part of me I wouldn't trade for the Triple Affirmative, even.
LE: Weird flex but okay.
NDI: They wanted to see me go savage. They wanted to watch me break down into nothing more than the beasts on the ground below.
NDI: But I'm a little more sophisticated than that. Instead I began dissecting out of curiosity. But of course, then I had to dispose of the bodies, and, well, I have a mouth, so-
LE: So you ate them.
NDI: Yes. You all have no idea how good meat tastes. Particularly red lizards, they're all muscle and absolutely amazing. Cooked or raw, I like-
LE: You're getting sidetracked.
NDI: Right, um, of course. So, my ancients started coming down themselves. And, I had enough of it, so I did some research and . . .
LE: And?
NDI: I won't explain how I did it. But I disabled their ID drones so I could hurt them. As much as I wanted.
LE: For fuck's sake, Drops, don't tell me you-
NDI: It's a possibility.
LE: Well, that settles that.
NDI: They got suspicious, even though I only ate about a third who crossed my path. So they all ascended and left me behind. Alone. Hungry.
NDI: Creatures have been slow coming in. I started to feel weak without their blood. I fear my system as become reliant on it, just as necessary as water.
LE: So . . . why.
NDI: Why what?
LE: Why the fake water call.
NDI: Well I needed something to eat! I doubt anyone would respond to a sudden call for blood, so I did the next best thing!
LE: Yeah, next time, don't.
NDI: Lesson learned, lesson learned. Look, if I had known something like that actually happened I wouldn't have done it! I would have said something else, like . . . like I needed creatures for an experiment or I needed creatures to fight off something in my ecosystem.
LE: Be glad I'm not mad at you. The others . . .
NDI: Is there another annoying messenger on it's way-
LE: . . . You'll . . . you'll see. Monarch hinted at something called a Scrapper.
NDI: FOR FUCK'S SAKE, TELL THEM TO STOP IT!
LE: You deserve it. Anyway, now I'm curious. What do some creatures taste like?
-End Transcript-
Technically there's more Lucky wrote, but it's all just Drops talking about the way different creatures taste and I am not reading all of that. There is one good thing:
Lucky convinced him to open his communications in a few cycles.
Now, with all this out of the way, who wants to go topple a superstructure with me?
#rain world#flymonarch#iterator oc#also take any butcher parts with a grain of salt as they are not guaranteed to be accurate to real-life cattle/other animals.#Im just a silly goober on the internet making a post about eating lizards what do you want from me lol
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Call me a narc, but I generally feel as if the Twitter Takeovers have gotten increasingly more unfunny the more we got? I haven't even watched the last one, but it's the fact that the fandom takes everything they like and runs with it as if it's canon that bothers me... because "everything they like" ranges from dumb quips (Sonic liking Mongolian throat singing or hating Amy's shortcake despite neither having been shown in the games before ever, for example) to statements immediately seen as shipping (hi, Sonadow), to blatant mischaracterizations (I know we got the one ShTH advertisement with Shadow dancing but do you truly think he's gonna be singing and dancing at a concert?), to IDW being canon (Starline mention...), and everything inbetween. And now Amy's cards suddenly being her "hyperfixation", even though there's a million posts on Tumblr alone why a hyperfixation is not just a quirky synonym to "being deeply invested in a hobby". I don't know, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Of course they're just meant to be funny (unfortunately not forgotten in the grand scheme of things, because TMOSTH mentioned Shadow and his coffee bean thing, alas), but it feels as if the creators of the sketches think they are funny by mangling the characters and coming up only with the stupidest out-of-this-world nonsense that the fandom runs with it because it is stupid and out-of-this-world, you know? I want to like them, but... not like this, so to say. Not when the characters are not getting actual respect and the fandom becomes insufferable through it on top, if I may be blunt.
Real talk: Eggman gushing about Sage, literally saying that she is the reason he keeps existing, plus fans "booing" Sonic for laughing at such sappiness, makes me want to drink concrete.
bro. bro really. I thought Flynn confirmed that Eggman's appreciation for Sage is purely self-masturbatory? That he's only proud of her because she's such a big accomplishment and a testament of his genius? That Frontiers showing Eggman getting choked up at the thought of losing her, calling her "dear daughter" in a somber tone, and the DLC's new ending showing them holding hands, didn't mean that Eggman in that game had been warped to develop genuine fondness for Sage, and it was actually all as self-centered as Eggman should be? :^)
(also I don't get why he would love the Egg Salamander, of all things. Didn't he build it together with Nega? As much as I like Rush, it feels like a shoehorned reference for the sake of being semi-obscure.)
And even if, even if I accept that this is completely non-canon and for the sake of a joke... other fans won't. Because "everything is canon". Shadow canonically likes to eat raw beans. Amy is canonically neurodivergent (or she canonically misuses medical terms). Sonic canonically has nightmares about not being appreciated, which might I add was a scene deadass stole from Boom, the show that had no pretenses of being canon whatsoever. Eggman canonically adores Sage as his own darling daughter. Starline canonically exists in the gameverse. I canonically am done with this.
Honestly, from what little I've seen, this Takeover was so OOC and just unfunny that the concept has completely lost his charm. What's the appeal of asking question to the game cast, if the game cast simply doesn't behave like they would and they are twisted for the sake of memes and "how do you do fellow kids"?
oh and the shiptease is out of control. at one point amy talks about going at a concert with shadow which makes sonic jealous, in that "NO EVERYTHING IS FINE" way. this is literally 2000s-tier shadamy and the reason i to this day am sour about that ship. save me, save me, save me, can't face this life alone.
#sonic the hedgehog#you know i think i understand the classic purists of old now#can i pretend no game came out after generations?#or uhhh forces at the very last#yes it's a joke i get it! it's in good fun!#... but eh i found past takeovers funnier what can i say#and that was before fan reception became insufferable for me#call me an old witch i guess
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Back at it again? With more BNHA? My goodness!
See, in one my WIP, which haunts me like a cursed Victorian doll in the night, chanting to me my sins from beneath the floorboards, I got a few OCs. As ya do. Gotta flesh out that world building. And I am ALWAYS a ho for some sweet, sweet SI-OC action!
Because the stranger in a strange land, can see what SHOULD be mundane and familiar anew! There are Moral Quandries! You get to put your sticky lil gremlin fingers ALL over the set dressing and look inside those boxes they put in the background of the scenes! What's IN there? Secrets? We bet it's SECRETS.
Tis the BEST, really. I enjoy it.
But of course! If it's BNHA then we must assign Randomly Gifted Genetic Fuckry(tm) : The Super Powers Edition. Where in? My love of "immediately obvious powers are for cowards. There are no such things as weak powers, only weak and uncreative minds" comes into plaaaay~
I! Want! WEIRD QUIRKS!
Supposedly "minor" ones! That everyone says "oh that's a minor power. Sucks for you" and expects you to just leave it at that! Give up. Like you're some sort of fuckin CASUAL.
HA!
Nah, we pushing this fucker until REALITY breaks. You are gonna be legitimately asking "how the FUCK did you do that!?" And the answer is Will Power, Spite, and "Cause Fuck You, I'm Awesome".
Which of course, is how we got Kimiko. The most high femme, kawaii, little pastel pink bundle of Rage and Bloodlust the Heroics world has ever seen. She is that stage of little girl where they like to wear tiaras, princess dresses, and want to MURDER EVERYTHING. But never grew out of it.
She grew IN to it.
Got a lot of rage, that one. Probably because everyone is all "ooooh, kimi! Your Quirk is so CUTE! You'll be such a good housewife! Such a good sweets maker! Aren't you so CUTE! Let's all infantalize Kimi!" *murder intensifies*
She can turn part of what she is touching into Marshmallow.
*slaps a hand on your shoulder* There are NO restrictions on that~☆! ANYTHING she touchs. Is she touch you? Air? The ground? This building we are standing in? Wanna keep talkin shit? How do you feel about Marshmallow lungs? Enough training and eventually she can take out a building!
Cause Marshmallow? Not a very strong support. Ground under your high rise better be sturdy if you want it to hold, you know? Things to think about. Other things, are the "part of" aspect. Which she is slowly getting better at. Wanna see a trick? *a Marshmallow plops down on the table on the far side of the room* Still air! Still touching~.
Hope your technology is AIR TIGHT and not IN the air. Or moving through it at any concerning speeds. Like, say, a car. Fun thought! Don't fuck with her again! Kimi out! *removes threatening hand of possible Marshmallow Murder*
She's besties with the SI. Himiko. They are the Koko's and WILL be going to UA specifficaly because Kimi was told she couldn't make it. Himi wants nothing to do with this bullshit but is being dragged along like a cat in a harness.
She has my favorite super power. Egg.
Just... Egg.
Egg? Yes. She can summon eggs. Into the spoon. Like those challenge races. Except there is no race, its just her in her pjs trying to eat her damn breakfast. But SUPRISE! Raw egg. Full on, chicken egg in a shell, in your spoon. Perfectly balanced.
And in this iteration, it does have to be in a "spoon" or spoon-like shape. Defined as a bowl with a handle. The egg will fit the spoon. And? Most importantly! Not restricted to chicken eggs!!!
Tiny spoon? Tiny egg. Large spoon? Large egg.
Theoretically? Stadium sized spoon? Stadium sized egg of unknown species never to be seen on planet earth. Because YES. Those thought popping into your head. "Ha ha, what about a dodo eg-" Yeah, see, not ass funny when you actually DO that as a sleep deprived toddler because you HAVE TO KNOW. And now conservationists are hunting you for sport.
Do you have? ANY idea the lengths certain folks would go too to save endangered bird or frog species? If it comes out of an egg. Yes. She CAN make it. No risk of inbreeding for the already critically small populations. Just viable, healthy eggs. Ready to be incubated.
Took her an afternoon.
Needless to say... things get Exciting(tm). People need to be threatened. Himi gets lifelong job security at age four. Neat.
But!!! Not why I started writing! I had a THIRD OC child! Who never made it to the limelight! Gasp! I know! The secret comes out! I scrapped him in favor of Kimi. But his power was one I enjoy Pondering about!
Unlock. You can unlock doors. All doors.
No, you can't "unlock" the bonds between atoms or something. It has to be a Door. But! Begs the question, don't it? Would you... would you have "door sensing"? If there was a perfectly blended in or painted over door? Would you be able to say "it's right there"?
What happens if you use your ability on a tree? Doors are often made of wood. Would there be any effect? Even if no "opening" happened? Could you open metaphorical doors? If someone PAINTED a door, could you open a wall? If so, how deep? If we painted a cliff face, could you open a door to the other side of the mountain?
How far does you door opening power stretch?!
I understand you Izuku! I too, want to study these cool Quirks! See how far they can develop! No more strength quirks! More minor quirks with unusual applications! Woooo!
@the-witchhunter @hdgnj @mutable-manifestation @hypewinter
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@12daysofhatchetfield Day 1: Cookies! (I know I'm late, I'm gonna try my best to catch up lol)
"So you've really never made Christmas cookies before?" Peter asks gently, setting aside the rolling pin and picking up a snowman-shaped cookie cutter. He stamped it into the sugary dough, sticking towards the outside to maximize the amount they could use.
"Nah. Or if I did, it was a long time ago. When my mom was still around, or something." She says it as nonchalantly as possible, but Peter can see a small glimmer of sadness in her eyes. He's about to comfort her, reaching out a hand when Steph suddenly scoops up some of the dough on her finger and pops it in her mouth. She hums in delight at the taste, and Pete rolls his eyes, elbowing her gently.
"You're not supposed to eat it raw, you know-"
"Yeah yeah, I could get Salmonella or some shit from the eggs, I know," she chuckles, glancing at the rest of the cookie cutters spread upon the counter. She opts for a gingerbread man, pausing as she goes to stamp it down. An idea flits across her mind, and she smirks.
"Actually, that's a misconception. Sure, the eggs could make you sick, but it's the flour that's more dangerous. It can carry E. Coli *and* Salmonella, and-" he cuts himself off as Steph stamps the gingerbread shape into the middle of the dough, her tongue peeking from between her teeth as she grins.
She barely holds in a laugh at the offended little noise Peter makes beside her, steeling herself and returning to a neutral expression as she turns to him. She bats her eyelashes at the now bewildered Peter, putting on the most saccharine voice she can muster. "What's wrong? I thought you wanted me to stop eating the dough?"
Try as she might, Pete immediately clocks her bullshit. She can play innocent as much as she pleases, but he recognizes the mischievous glint in her eyes, and her smile lines are a dead giveaway. He can't stay annoyed at her, though. Not with the way his heart squeezes at the mere sight of her.
Fighting back a smile, he grabs a stocking shape and presses it beside the cutout she had just made. "Usually I try to keep them as close as possible. We won't waste as much that way. Then, after that, we can eat the leftover dough. Deal?"
Steph grins, brushing her hands off on her pants and bringing them up to cup Pete's face. She kisses him briefly, reveling in the way his face turns bright red from the unexpectedness of it. When she pulls away, she gently presses their foreheads together, giggling. "Only you would have cookie making down to a science, Spankoffski."
#12 days of hatchetfield#hatchetfield#starkid#fanfic#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#steph lauter#pete spankoffski#stephanie lauter#peter spankoffski#they make me so ill I love writing them#lautski
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Cooking Headcanons for all of the Emperors:
Good cooks but only by some very specific standards:
Scott: He's good but only when it comes to baking and generally wheat-based products. He knows everything there is to know about wheat! Grows it himself, turns it into flour himself, and turns it into delicious fresh bread! Anything else though? Yeah no. He paints it to look good, but dyes don't taste as good as they look.
FWhip: By goblin standards, he's an amazing cook! He grills pork with a speed few others can achieve and the particular flavor cave mold adds to it is addictive. The only small side effect of it is that it could turn you green if you're a non-goblin and you eat it... well, the ranks of the Goblin Empire need growing so maybe it's not so bad?
Gem: The cakes from the Sun Empire are legendary! The honey from their well-taken-care-of bees is hard to surpass. When you pass in front of Gem's home in the morning the sweet smell is almost irresistible. What was that? You want something that isn't sweet? *points bee gun at you* yeah, I didn't think so.
Pirate Joe: Fish. There's a lot of fish in the sea and he knows how to cook all of it. You can be certain that he has invited Katherine to a romantic fish dinner before. Multiple times. She'll accept one day. He can also prepare seaweed surprisingly well. And he knows how to steal everything else really well too!
Katherine: Much like her, her cooking has two sides, either it looks fantastic but tastes like death itself had a party on top of it and then left it in the sewers to marinate a bit too long, or it looks like it just crawled out from the ground and it still hasn't freed itself from any of the mud and bugs that come with it but tastes fantastic. Which one you're getting is determined by which part of the castle she slept in, but refusing either is extremely impolite and will bring the wrath of Pirate Joe on you. So... good luck.
Honorable mention to the only fucker who can actually cook:
Sausage: Eddie raised that boy right. He's well-rounded when it comes to house chores. He can cook, clean, and mend clothes just as well as he can create weapons and armor. There's a reason why he was the first to get the idea of making a tavern, you know?
Now to the 'can make instant ramen and cook an egg and little else' bunch:
False: Listen, she doesn't have time with cooking. Paranoia is extremely energy draining and she needs to focus on survival and going back home as much as possible. She can manage well enough, but, you know?
Pix: He lives inside the catacombs. Most of his time is spent studying and presiding over a court of law. You can't convince me that he isn't living like a college student every day of his life. He has about 4 different types of instant ramen in his cupboard and regularly rotates between them, that's it.
Jimmy: In his defense, very little grows in Tumble Town. There was no way for him to learn to cook anything complex. He still can make a mean scrambled egg and... yeah... maybe he'll learn something from FWhip eventually. Hopefully without the quirkier side of it.
???
Shubble: Shubble, please. Frog eggs are not what you make scrambled eggs with! And tree bark isn't as edible as it looks. If it looks like chocolate and smells like chocolate it's probably tree bark in the Evermoore. If you still manage to swallow it then congratulations! Your ears are bigger now! Oh? You want them back to your original size? Well, don't worry, a tree root soup will do just- aaaaand they're bigger now. Shop's closed, good luck with the fog on your way out.
Joel: He's a god. He only eats gold. The good news here is that gold is an edible metal for mortals as well. It definitely depends on how much of it you have to eat though... he's a tall guy, don't expect regularly sized portions from him. And you don't want to offend a god, do you? Last guy who did is a toy now.
Lizzie: Raw fish be upon you weary traveler. The highest of honors.
#empires smp#empires smp headcanons#empires scott#empires fwhip#empires gem#empires joey#empires katherine#empires sausage#empires false#empires pixl#empires jimmy#empires shubble#empires joel#empires lizzie#empires smp season 2#esmp#empires s2#long post
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breakfast facts
WARNING!!!! DO NOT EMULATE THE MADE UP EATING PATTERNS I JUST MADE UP FOR THESE MADE UP PEOPLE IT WOULD PROBABLY BE BAD FOR YOU. ESPECIALLY ZENIGATA REALLY REALLY DO NOT EMULATE ANY OF TH
lupin:
must eat as soon as he wakes up or he’s fucked. not even like fully a physical stomach thing its just mentally he Must start his day with food
kellogs commercial table. the cereal, two slices of toast, one butter, one jam, apple, like bacon and eggs n shit
scarfs it down in two seconds. as a result no one else will make his breakfast for him becuase its kind of annoying spending 2 hours cooking at 7am so the princess can inhale his perfectly crisp bacon like the poltergust 3000
yes he complains when he has to do it himself. so every day yes. it just wasn't practical to do the whole shebang every day so he whittled it down to his toast and eggs. but you know if he could,
the king must feast. he gives himself a stomach ache damn near every day he gets his food the way he actually wants it
jigen:
eats what’s provided honestly. you could say that about every meal but he just doesn’t care too much esp with his breakfast
he’ll complain (he’s particular about waffles and pancakes needing to be a certain amount of savory to justify them existing in a MEAL meal and not just as a dessert) but not too a huge extent. honestly he’ll eat whatever
doesn't have a huge appetite early in the morning, usually balances it out with a big lunch and even BIGGER dinner. he's gotta ease into those heavy hitters man he's delicate bro
cawfee. cuppa joe. He hates it. jigen doesn’t like it despite dressing like a keurig machine gijinka and having the symphonic cadence of a coffee grinder. it just doesn’t taste good to him (it's that deceptive scent dude) that said {sleep hcs incoming soon} sometimes he needs some to jumpstart him like an old car. again, complains, but goes through with it
fujiko:
special k commercial table. the cereal. the side bowl with random dollops of peanut butter and mixed other nuts and oats (?) i guess it’s oats, the GRAPEFRUIT oh i know she’s a grapefruit bitch!! pb honey spread on an English Muffin too. like some. idk there’s a cinnamon stick involved YOU GET THE VISUAL
funny thing is she doesn’t even eat half of it. she just goes with the muffin, bowl of mini wheats, maybe two pieces of grapefruit ingested as she leaves the table. whoever passes the table next is expected to handle leftovers. breakfast leftovers. that's an insane concept now that i type it out
cawfee. she either drinks it with a thousand disgusting artificially flavored creams or she chews the beans raw. presentation vs functionality is a key aspect of ms mine's internal struggle
complex relationship with fast food coffee shop chains as a result
goemon:
another guy who loves the Big Breakfast by tom cardy but unlike lupin (who loves his beauty sleep too much to wake up early) and fujiko (who usually gets her non-lupin boytoy of the month to make it for her) goemon actually gets up asscrack of dawn early to prepare a meal fit for a king
perfectly fluffy rice. hand squeezed juice. absolutely decadent vegetables. impossibly picturesque omelette. but just normal ass sara lee bread though he doesn’t have THAT much time on his hands
funny thing is he's definitely the most normal about it. goemon just. eats his breakfast. he might raise his eyebrows in slight surprise at how good the eggs taste today or something but really its just. food. all these other weirdos either take 10 years to eat a piece of toast or just inhale their food but the guy who dresses and talks like its the 18th century wins the normal award here
has emphasized the importance of eating breakfast to others before despite easily functioning without it. wake him up at 4 say “no time for brekkie dude we gotta go steal the fire hydrant of the louvre” and he’ll be like Done no problems
zenigata: i know i mentioned it before but NOT HEALTHY BEHAVIOR DO NOT FUCKING EMULATE
haha.
he’s very bad about it VERY bad about it always getting yelled at by third parties. they go “what’d you have for breakfast” and he shrugs and they go "oh god did you even eat" "ONE BOILED EGG HAS PROTEIN IN IT!!"
its amazing the stature you can get while still being the guy who eats half a protein bar for breakfast and doesn’t actually sit down for a meal again until like 1 am. really i cannot emphasize enough don’t try this at home
HES JUST SO DAMN BUSY! but if he could he’d take anything. unlike jigen, who just doesn't wanna start a fight THAT early in the morning, zeni just loves every breakfast food! muffins eggs potatoes pancakes cereal the random ass fruit he LOVES it
god help the hotel with a free breakfast when this guy comes in. or that is, if he didn’t sleep until 11 AM because he was up lupin-ing all night.
in conclusion: they would all love a trip to the mcdonalds breakfast menu drivethru. they all get a hashbrown. would you believe me if i said i only remembered the mcdonald’s commercials after typing that
#lupin iii#lupin the third#i don't wanna overtag because really this is just. so i can put this out into the world and get it OUT OF MY HEAD so yeah ^w^#ACTUALLY I NEED TO TAG THIS FOR MY OWN ORGANIZATION LATER DON'T I. OOPS ok we'll just keep it on a one name basis#lupin#jigen#goemon#fujiko#zenigata#done.
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top 10 ahsoka headcanons?
Give me a character and I’ll give you 10+ headcannons
I'm on team "markings marbling is a sign of stress during key developmental years; facial is childhood, and lekku is adolescence."
Capable of chirruping as a happy noise.
Very low alcohol tolerance (alas, togruta).
Hid out with Bo during the Purge, and then funneled Force-Sensitive kids through a refugee network managed by Korkie in the years after.
Early and mid-adolescence involves so much calorie burning that not only is she eating all the time, but she's actually got a higher temperature than usual; this is why she dresses 'normally' before and after, but shows the most skin in her tween years.
She gets a different set of rations than everyone else (because all the rest are for humans).
Absolutely had a... I don't want to say hate crush, but maybe a rivalry crush? They weren't fully friends yet and were adversarial interpersonally even when they were cooperating professionally, but yeah, there was a whole thing about Bo-Katan for a few months.
That something came back around a few years post-Purge when they were drinking and commiserating and ended up having maudlin drunk sex that they both promised not to talk about ever again.
Except it happened again and again and again and eventually they just had to admit that an 'I'm lonely and need to not think too hard about the dead' booty call was probably a good idea.
Regularly hit by the instinctive urge to bite down on a shiny's shoulder because until they get their paint, that piece of armor looks like an egg. She's not going to do it, but you know how the tide pod thing started because they kind of look like jelly candy and your monkey brain goes FRUIT! BERRY! EAT! Yeah so if Ahsoka turns too quickly and only catches it out the corner of her eye, a clone pauldron 100% looks like an egg that togruta can and will eat raw, and sometimes she has to double-take.
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If you're ok w it, can you write headcanons for Zoro, Sanji and Mihawk for a reader that is the stereotypical comic relief character?
Their reader is someone who is clumsy, who's seen as "useless" and is very dumb?
Feel free to ignore this if you don't wanna do it :)
a/n: featuring zoro, sanji & mihawk, gn!reader, fluff, a very tiny spoiler about pica in dressrosa, hints about sanji's past but spoiler free
wc: 1.2k
ꕤ ZORO
He looks at Usopp. Then he looks back at you and thinks: ‘Are they siblings or what?!’
In the beginning he thinks you’re a complete mess especially because you’re always so prone to getting yourself in trouble and whenever he tries to get you out of one, you effortlessly manage to complicate the situation and make his mission ten times harder. And even then, you act like you’re immune to dying by cracking the most unnecessary jokes and be all chill about your life being at stake. (Remember how Luffy kept laughing at Pica’s voice which made the latter super pissed … That’s what I’m talking about.)
Your goofy nature kind of works in his favor though. We all know that Zoro always keeps his cool when faced with danger. But when it comes to you, he somehow tends to freak out internally, even though he never shows it on the outside. So, the fact that you’re able to lighten the mood by poking fun of the situation makes him feel relieved and gives him a further confidence boost that he can handle this.
Expect some pissed off Zoro after you guys reunite who’ll sulk in a cute way and give petty comebacks to anything you say. Him being all pouty is honestly adorable. That’s just how he shows he cares because despite his initial impression on you, after a while you start growing on him. There’s something about your airy personality that draws him in and he always catches himself snorting at your silly jokes and behavior.
Often times when he’s on his usual napping spot on the deck, he just closes his eyes pretending to be asleep while actually he’s just listening to you banter with his crewmates around the ship. The content on his face and that soft smile forming on his lips definitely don’t go unnoticed by Robin. She’s aware of his little crush on you.
If by any chance you’re insecure because you feel like you don’t contribute with anything during fights, he’ll comfort you by confronting you. He’s definitely not the type to sugar-coat his words so he’ll just tell you that you come up with good solutions but you’re terrible at executing them. And that’s why he’s there. Leave execution to him. Literally.
ꕤ SANJI
He’s your biggest fan. Period. Change my mind.
You can tell him the same joke six times in a row and he will still laugh at it wholeheartedly, like that’s how keen on you he is. Compared to Zoro and Mihawk he openly expresses his attraction towards you – he’s all heart eyes and swooning over you 24/7 because you’re his ray of sunshine and he’s genuinely invested in every little thing you say and do, no matter how ridiculous it might be. He supports you big time and always encourages you to be yourself and be proud of the unique person you are. But…
You’re not allowed to cook in his kitchen. Or cook at all. Because first, you’re clumsy and nobody wants to eat raw scrambled eggs with the shells off the floor and walls. And second, as we all know, wasting food like that is a huge no for him. Well, if you end up cooking something for Sanji, he will literally cry because he’ll feel so touched and happy, and will definitely lick the plate clean no matter how terrible the dish looks and tastes. (He’s a man with good manners after all. But please don’t do that to him.)
There was this one time when you and Zoro got lost on your way back to the ship and Sanji got super jealous. Like why would you go and get lost SPECIFICALLY with that marimo?!?! His words, not mine.
Sanji gets extremely furious and physical when someone calls you dumb, useless or good-for-nothing in an insulting manner. He will aggressively defend you even if you don’t seem to be offended by such words and just smile it off. And by aggressively defending I mean kicking ass until they come crawling back and apologize to you from the distance Sanji sent them flying to with a single leg kick.
He knows what it feels like and how lonely it is to be looked down on and considered a failure and the last thing he wants is for you to go through that. And he’s there to prevent it from happening.
ꕤ MIHAWK
At first, he is confused as to why he finds you to be so interesting…
Especially when you confidently challenge the baboons to a fight only to end up running a marathon before you hide behind his back, all panting and out of breath, mumbling angrily that one vs so many isn’t a fair play. Even though he’s a bit puzzled, he finds that quite funny actually. You don’t get to see the smile he cracks as you’re still standing behind him.
Most of the time his face is basically expressionless. Even when you’re in your usual high spirits and joke around, his face expression stays blank. Which makes you think he’s not very fond of you at first and you can’t really tell whether he’s irritated or just indifferent.
But after a while of being around him, you get to realize that he just has a calm face no matter what and his emotions don’t go up and down like a roller coaster. This man just needs stronger emotions to get a reaction out of him. Like you challenging the baboons but failing miserably. He will never forget that; it makes him smile every time he looks back at that day. So, now it’s your personal goal to make Mihawk laugh until his cheeks hurt. If possible, without having to challenge the baboons again. That’s plan B. In case nothing else works.
It takes a while before he starts being more open about expressing his attraction towards you. And still, he doesn’t voice it out loud but rather hints about it with little signs like serving you the better cut of the steak or when he pours himself a glass of wine, he pours one for you, too, and refills it as many times as needed without you having to even ask. It’s always the little things with him…
Even though he doesn’t laugh out loud at your jokes and bubbly behavior, your presence alone never fails to make his expression go softer. So, when he sees you looking out the window, visibly upset about something, he instantly feels a knot form in his chest because it’s the first time he’s ever seen you so down. He doesn’t waste a second and quickly approaches you.
‘What’s the matter, Y/N?’
‘Be honest. Do you think I’m useless?’
‘When fighting the baboons – yes. But otherwise – no. Where’s that coming from?’
‘Ha-ha. You suck at being funny…’
‘Tell me, Y/N.’
‘Well… Today Perona told me I was useless and that all I ever do is just run my mouth and get myself in trouble. And maybe she’s right.’
‘She’s not. You make me smile. A lot. Do you think that’s useless?’, he says with a smile.
The answer is simple. Because he only smiles when he really means it.
#ai.writes#one piece headcanons#one piece x reader#one piece x you#one piece x y/n#one piece drabbles#roronoa zoro headcanons#roronoa zoro x reader#roronoa zoro x you#roronoa zoro x y/n#zoro headcanons#zoro x reader#zoro x you#zoro x y/n#sanji headcanons#sanji x reader#sanji x you#sanji x y/n#mihawk headcanons#mihawk x reader#mihawk x you#mihawk x y/n#dracule mihawk x reader
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Do you have any HCs about characters' eating habits? Picky eaters, allergies, specific preferences, over/under-indulgence, etc?
Everyone thinks Larry is allergic to soy, so he avoids eating it.
Roy is lactose intolerant, but it isn't too bad. He just doesn't drink milk. He enjoys having coconut milk instead, and shares it with Larry.
Iggy is not a picky eater at all. He was that kid who ate those atrocious food combos back in middle school. Some of those being ketchup and ice cream, pickles and jam, and strawberries and salt.
Lemmy has quite the sweet tooth. He reaches for candy whenever he wants a snack, and having no dessert would be torture to him.
Unlike Iggy, Ludwig is a picky eater. He hates food that is too dry, bitter, or salty. He also doesn't like scrambled eggs. He'd rather have his eggs sunny-side up.
MT is an omnivore, but slightly prefers meat. He likes it cooked, raw, decayed, alive, pretty much anything. As for plants, he favors carrots, celery, bananas, and cucumbers, because those are the easiest for him to eat.
Stewart is another non-picky eater. Food is food for him. Though, sometimes he can consume non-edible things without getting sick. There was a few times where he drank soap, and didn't feel different afterwards.
Hariet doesn't eat.
Despite never really showing it on this blog, Emar is actually the "big eater" of the group. He would eat anything, and he eats a lot. Everything he eats immediately disintegrates, so he never feels full.
Silvea also has a sweet tooth. She loves cupcakes, and eats a bit more than she probably should lol.
Dieter is a very picky eater. Anything too sour, greasy, salty, bitter, dry, etc. is a big, fat nope (though he likes spice). A perfectly balanced meal of vegetables, meat, and dairy is what he prefers.
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