some studies and notes figuring out the way to draw the boys

oh right, forgot to add

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

I've seen a lot of people writing Danny as a space ancient and Dan and Dani as ghosts with moon and sun cores, being sort of parts, versions of Danny and therefore weaker. Now, consider: Dan and Dani are both powerful ghosts with really cool cores and stuff but Danny is just some guy™

Dan, who came from an alternate timeline and is kind of from the future but also not, is Clockwork's apprentice and will eventually become an ancient of time. He probably only agreed to have some lessons with Clockwork to understand better what happened to him, but he enjoys his apprenticeship now.

Dani, with her love of travelling, loves seeing all the different places the world offers to her, and that includes space and different planets and maybe even parallel universes, and she accidentally ends up being an apprentice of the space ancient. For now she's probably a baby ancient of freedom or something like that, but she might become an ancient of space in the future.

We can also have something like Dan having a core of destruction or Dani being the Speed Force if you want it to be dcxdp, or any headcanon of yours about their cool powers.

And then there's Danny. And yeah, everyone knows that he's super powerful, but also he's just some guy.

It can go different routes. Does everyone know that Danny is just Danny? Or do they think that with siblings (well, technically a clone and an alternate version, but whatever) so powerful, he must be even stronger? Is Danny actually something terrifyingly eldritch and ancient and strong, almost a god, but he just doesn't know himself? Or is he just really some guy?

Now, because it's obvious that I have a dcxdp brainrot, have a regular "JL summons/meets a powerful ghost" but its Dan and Dani, and they keep mentioning their original/brother who won a fight against them at some point. The JL is very concerned about Dan and Dani's godlike powers, and they can't imagine what Danny is like. And then they meet him (in his human form), and it's just a young adult in casual clothes, very friendly and helpful, with no evident powers. Imagine the confusion. Imagine Dan and Dani, radiating power, in their eldritch ghost forms, admitting that fighting Danny for real is the dumbest thing to do and not even they would succeed... And then there's Danny is jeans and silly t-shirt, waving shyly.

CALLUM KEITH RENNIE as Captain Rayner in Star Trek: Discovery

i saw an angel today. he came to collect the debt

I actually love glass onion being set deep in covid times but where's the post that was like . Glass Onion should have ended with benoit blanc getting home and testing positive for covid . I really think that would've tied the whole thing together

Ok, but if you wanna circle that Siken quote around, maybe post the whole thing?

The second part is the important one.

Also, for those who still can't seperate fiction from reality and are obvi already pestering him, because he dared to name that ship:

1 million capril bucks to whoever can find the book cover i referenced for dis

super fun experimental piece :3 i meant to finish pero i got work to do!!

I knew you could distract her with "lustful thoughts" of someone but my specific option was "distract her with your yearning for Gale" and it took me out. Then she called Gale pathetic and told me I could do better, which, rude.

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FAT ELF ANIME REAL

GOD IS GOOD!!

Can't stop thinking about. Liliana leaving Imogen and Relvin for reasons they never understood and that she never tried to truly clarify. About Relvin being too much of a coward to love Imogen at her most vulnerable and desperate. About Imogen leaving Gelvaan (and Relvin) at the first glimpse of reciprocity and understanding in a person.

Can't stop thinking about: "There is no loyalty that comes with this blood."

Tommy: Did you know that you have rights? Constitution says you do. I believe that every man, woman, and child is INNOCENT!

Niki: Yo Chat! CHAT! WE HAVE RIGHTS!!! WE MADE IT! We made - we f**king made it. Women’s Rights, let’s f**king go, lets f**king go! We made it. We made it! That’s amazing, thank you so much Tommy Innit. [...]

I was the only woman in this recording. And all they did was talk about their fore.skin *tries not to laugh*. I just wanna let that sink in for a second. This is why I am the w- the victim. This is why I am the victim. This right here. [...]

*reading chat* “Guess you didn’t get women’s rights after all” *laughs then puts her face in her hands* Oh my god Chat. *laughs*

Sendin my love out to all of you amazin ass mfs on this day bcuz you all deserve the fuck outta it. I've never met such kind, carin, sweet, n loveable mfs before comin here. I've been postin for almost a full fuckin year now n all of the support has meant the world to me. I hope you all know just how incredible you are, n you guys deserve the world. I know a lot of you are strugglin rn so I am wishin you all the very best n I'm always here if you need. Thank you so much n I hope that today n every day can be as good as it possibly can for you.

it is healing to come onto this blog and see basic respect for diasbility after being in other corners of the fandom and reading the words “snowkit could never be a warrior because he wouldnt know what anything is. he wouldnt even know what a clan is because nobody could explain it to him” said in full seriousness

Im..... That statement is so ableist I cannot even imagine the worldview you'd need to have in order to come up with that.

They really think the only way anyone learns anything is through verbal-speaking-words-noises? No one has ever observed something before? Not even once?

This is beyond touching grass, this person just fell out of the fucking Jurassic Period when all they had was ferns and stegosaurs.

I just...

OH YES. I remember my first day of Society Lessons as a hearing person, where the everything was explained to me. Via Audiobook. FIRST they spoke and said, "you are standing on the ground." It was a life changing revelation, and the world began to spin.

But it did not stop.

THEN they said, "there are fingers on your hands." The sensation of flesh and bone crackling into existence is indescribable, but I did not yet know pain, until they told me, "that hurts." I began screaming immediately.

And yet... it continued.

They explained so much. Chairs. Tables. Walls. The sky. Frogs. Ionizing radiation. Breathing. I was told all of it, in one sitting, and only then did I understand. Only when my ears were bursting with normal hearing knowledges, did they begin... my final test.

A strange wall-chair-finger emerged from the sky-of-the-wall, stood on the ground several times, until it was in front of me. A second one came behind it, this one slimmer. The audiobook gave these things names;

Human. Father. Mother. Door. Walking. It was completely impossible to know what these things were until that very moment.

I watch a human dip a hook into water and produce a fish, and I recall my Society Lessons where they called that "fishing." I am decked in the face by a nefarious hooligan, and I have only the audiobook to thank when I know I have been "punched" by a "bad guy." It was only the magic of verbal-speaking-words-noise that made me understand that there are "other people" and that they "do stuff."

Sometimes, even, in "groups."

Before the Society Lessons Audiobook, I knew nothing. I was pure, innocent, uncorrupted by concepts such as "parents" and "door." I am grateful every day that there is no such concept as "being shown things" or "simple logical reasoning" or "looking."

Blessed be those amongst us who escape the horrors of the Society Lessons Audiobook. I pray that you never learn what anything is. Be free! Free as a bird, which also knows nothing and famously cannot learn. 🤗

DEAF/HOH FOLLOWERS I'm losing my mind do you want me to bump a 'Hearing Disabilities Herb Guide' to the top of my priorities? Something you can use to bludgeon whackadoodles like that. This is ridiculous

Obviously not a MEDICINE guide but like; common causes of hearing disability in clan cats. Accommodations for hearing loss vs congenital deafness. Actual difficulties of not having that sense Clan-by-Clan. Debunking of misconceptions like... not being able to learn APPARENTLY.

Bc the Dunmeshi anime is coming out tomorrow I was thinking about my specialest little guy Thistle the mean stupid tiny clown who I love so much. And anyways besides the point do you guys also pick up on his Weird reactions around Laios. Like I know technically he's being driven insane or whatever so his behavior is gonna be a bit erratic but also nobody else reacts to Laios this way basically ever. It's not even a consistent thing it's just a few panels here and there but I NOTICE it. I need to know what's going on in thistle's brain to make him do the things he does. First example that comes to mind is that like two pages where Laios tackles Thistle and dislocates his arm, proceeds to immediately vomit blood onto his face and apologize for it (still on top of him), and when Laios sets Thistle's arm back in its socket there is one (1) panel where Thistle gets weirdly fucking. I'm having a hard time trying to describe the emotion in Thistle's face but he gets So Weird about the physical contact of Laios' arm caressing his shoulder. And then he is immediately whipped out of whatever is going on in his head by this huge strong armored man over twice his size turning him around like he doesn't weigh a thing and asking him out to dinner. AND THISTLE ACCEPTS. And then within the span of like an hour after those panels both of them have taken turns tying each other up in bondage. There is something deeply wrong with both of them and they are both fucking freaks (affectionate)

byler in every episode -> 3.06. e pluribus unum