Z'rell x reader headcanons
[Fluff, angst, religious imagery, nb!reader]
It started as a fling
Love and war do not mix, at least not with her.
The two of you share a bed, spend a night of intimacy together whenever the chance allows.
But you don't see each other often outside of it.
You have your own responsibilities, and so does she. Some nights, she has to spend awake on her desk, writing reports, replying to letters, organising information, and setting plans into motion.
Not to mention the various enemies she has, both under the same roof of moonrise tower and outside of it.
She has to stay on her guard, especially with the other absolute disciples eyeing her position as general Thorm's right hand with clear envy.
Sometimes she barely remembers who she used to be, her old hobbies, her past family and her younger self.
Which parts of her belong to her? And which were carved from faith and desperation to fit the absolute's plan
She truly has faith, as naive as it sounds, faith in the gifts of power the absolute has granted her. Faith in her ability to be strong, cunning and so much smarter and wiser than anyone thought of her to be.
But inside, she is genuinely tired. Of the fighting, the mind games, the endless power struggle.
It's a quick falling tower built on nothing but sand and salt, held by creeking wooden support beams that are cracking down slowly under their own weights.
She wishes she can blind herself to it like the rest, and her failure to do so only fuels her vigor when it comes to defending the absolute.
The feeling that she has sins to aton to, shortcomings to make up for, flaws in her design to fix.
That's where you come in, the perfect eager little thing to plug the holes in her brain with. To fill her empty edges and complete her soul with.
At times, she feels much like this old crumbling tower, with you being the one thing holding her up from caving in on herself.
She can never say it, she will never admit it.
How the taste of your lips was sweater than any prayer she has ever whispered, how the touch of your fingers felt better than the caress of the absolute on her mind.
It's blasphemy, she would be sent down to the prisons for her thoughts, have her personality ereased.
But she has learned from other's mistakes, seen how pride quickly becomes becomes the dagger which plunges your heart.
Z'rell is cunning, hides her cards, waits for the right opportunity. Overplayes her reverence to her god to overcompensate for how sinful your embrace feels.
Her heart is beating again, a fluttering in wings in her stomach that fills her with more dread than any axe thrown her way ever did.
Because it's you her heart beats to, it's you her eyes are drawn to.
It was supposed to be just a fling, she scolds herself. You were supposed to be temporary, how did you sneak past her high walls and nuzzle yourself a spot in her heart.
But in reality, you really did nothing on your own.
For her heart was always hollow, you never had to lift a finger once you got inside, all of it was designed for your arrival.
For a false god can only brew a hollow faith amidst their followers, a cold fire that never warms, a waterdrop that never freezes, a silence that never gets answered.
Z'rell was always smart, that was her curse.
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So! Radija! Who does not have a tadpole and is, as an insight check reveals, repulsed by all who carry one. I'm guessing she is a follower of Myrkul and is in on the Absolute being a hoax? Unlike Z'rell, who is a Disciple of the Faith. So these two, alongside the Keeper of Souls, are the three "above ground" servants of Ketheric who seem to have the most sway.
(I'm trying to unpick a little who was part of Ketheric's entourage when. Despite the excellent potential of Gortash and Z'rell, I'm guessing their paths are unlikely to cross if she is a later recruit to the cause. Have a bonus of her looking hot though)
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DISCIPLE Z’RELL IS SEVERELY UNDERRATED, THERE IS NO CONTENT OF HER. She said she thought I was gonna be a notch on her bedpost and idk what that means but I was like… 🤭…
Oh she obviously meant cuffing you to the bed and making you her personal bedwarmer. Afterall, there is no better fate than that for the wannabe hero Tav or the fallen out of Thorm's grace Durge.
Especially with Durge, from what we see, they used to be a complete menace and had no respect to anyone in that tower, Zrell wouldn't pass this chance for revenge. To teach Throm's lap dog how they should properly beg for forgiveness while a half-orc woman pins them down and had her way with them.
Maybe in a Minthara run, Zrell gets curious on how did we end up making that stone cold ruthless drow woman screan in pleasure in our memories. She has to investigate for herself and order us into her bed.
God just imagine being passed around from Ketheric Thorm to Zrell. She watched you pleasure him endlessly in that past and couldn't touch you despite her dripping cunt underneath her clothes, she could only stare at you whilst standing next to the thron as Ketheric toyed with you on his lap.
But now she has you all to herself, no General Throm, no fucking Minthara, no that brat Nere. Just her and you, it's where you truly belong.
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