bg3 ramblings

when you are downed in combat it is DEVASTATING to hear Astarion pleading with you to stay alive after you romance him. his facade of aloof uncaringness cracks. he's finally found something and someone worth fighting for, to *live* for, and there you are, feet away, bleeding out on the ground. i'm not crying, you're crying 😭

I need to write Astarion interacting with the camp kiddos so bad... He and Arabella would sass each other so much, and his protectiveness over Yenna would manifest in the worst ways...

"Why are you... Astarion, you cannot teach her to pick pockets!"

"Why not? What will she do if we die horribly, which, might I remind you, is not unlikely? Hope some other disgustingly virtuous do-gooder takes her in? Arabella certainly appreciated my lessons!"

"Arabella... You looked at the girl who nearly died after being caught stealing, and thought, 'let's teach her to steal'?!"

"Well, given the ease with which she was caught, her skills clearly needed work!"

He might not be Dadstarion material yet, but he certainly makes for an entertaining babysitter

Was looking at a picture of the naked back of Karlach, torso up, and it got me thinking: damn, she's got a lot more outward parts of metal than I thought! I know after 10 years without a kind touch girl is hella touch starved. But what about the physical trauma she's endured from the very much unkind touches? Imagine she and Tav are sharing soft carresses across each other's bodies, but then Tav starts tracing some of her scars and the metal parts and seemingly out of nowhere for both Karlach and Tav, Karlach becomes overwhelmed with some very unpleasant flashbacks and in that moment is suddenly touch averse. The trauma, angst, possibility for some solid hurt/comfort. God I wish I could write fiction sometimes

"And yes, we are also actively working on bringing Crossplay and a Photo Mode to Baldur’s Gate 3, but the work required to bring these to you means that these additions will likely be further down the road." xx

I'M SORRY ALL I HEARD WAS PHOTOMODE

You know in bg3 and romancing Astarion as a Mephistopheles Tiefling is an experience

(Spoilers for bg3 of all acts)

Reason being is because when you get Raphael to read Astarion back, he would say that his back scars is part of a seven contract with Mephistopheles. Which is technically (if I’m wrong let me know) Eivør’s ancestor as they’re a Mephistopheles tiefling. So idk why, but I can imagine them being like

“I’m so sorry on behalf of my ancestor of an archdevil 😬”

But then I though of another maybe more wholesome-ish hc:

Like after the graveyard devil’s tango scene, they kiss their back scar after they as for astarion’s consent while hugging them from behind. While reminding Astarion that they made the right choice and that he’s free. Gosh I love his story arc.

(Context: in my playthrough so far, he didn’t ascend. He let everyone go. Ngl, that Sebastian scene got to men. His speech to Cazador got to me. Just, he so 🥲🥲 I love all the companion but his story is so compelling.)

Being the angst sucker that I am (but also a coward that doesn’t want to feel too depressed about bad endings), I headcanon a lot about the dynamics and end/post game canons for Astarion and Karlach as a couple (no shit!).

I know a lot of people ship Karlach with Dammon. I obviously don’t, but not because I think they don’t fit well together or whatever. I have this thing in my head of how I view Karlach which puts her relationship with Astarion as more realistic, more fulfilling, and more attractive to me (duh).

Dammon as a character is a nice, hard working guy. He’s also crazy handsome, has the hots for Karlach and some mechanics knowledge to be able to help her a bit. So yea, cool. I like him a lot so that’s not it.

BUT.

Just gonna blurt it out: I think Karlach is too fucked up to be with him in the canon universe we have. It’s a similar reason I have for how I see her reaction to the love test in the Circus in Act 3, which I made a post about. Had Karlach never been betrayed by Gortash, had not been irreversibly damaged (in more ways than one) and not been transformed by her 10 years ordeal, Dammon would be the ‘perfect pairing’ for her - a gentle, good hearted, generous and hot piece of ass. Thumbs up.

HOWEVER.

She’s not that girl anymore. She keeps it bottled up, pushes it down and shuts herself to what her trauma did to her and while it’s commendable, imo, it’s not real. She wants it to be so bad because she’s got so little time and is desperately clinging to her life before she started making mistakes (now being back in the Material Plane after so long). If she doesn’t die, though, she won’t keep this up forever. She’s carrying pain, remorse, ANGER, jealousy, self pity. A LOT of it. Much more than she let out in her post-Gortash breakdown. All these are very human emotions, and very understandable in her situation. She also changed, physically, mentally, emotionally. She grew, she learned- and it wasn’t all pretty and nice things. I like the idea that she’s being the most genuine character in the game while ALSO being the one wearing the most impenetrable mask. It’s wild and damn cool to see her through that lens.

Which brings me to Astarion.

He is also wearing a mask, but a much more frail one. He’s cracked. He tells and shows us these ugly emotions, his selfishness and hurt, much more directly than Karlach does. He’s broken, wicked, mean. It’s clear his trauma completely changed him (though I don’t think he was a good guy before it either), and is entrenched into who he is when we meet him - and will continue to be part of him even after he heals.

I think Karlach is attracted to him not in spite of how mean he is - but because of it. I don’t think she’s aware of it, though. She says something about Astarion having a good heart beneath it all - and while he might have something like a better heart inside that can be rescued, he’s not inherently good, nor he was before being turned (nor he wants to be). The dynamic of Karlach using goodness and positivity as a lifeline, as if to counter the decade of (literally) pure evil she’s been forced to endure, while also ‘surprisingly’ getting along so well with Astarion from the start, also being attracted to his wickedness, gives an incredible depth to their relationship. I see not only the idea of Karlach’s kindness, non-judgement and patience being a refuge for Astarion, but Astarion’s grey personality being a refuge where Karlach will be able to let her walls down - show the ugliness bottled up inside - without fear or shame, and knowing it will be completely and utterly understood. Astarion will never judge her for whatever impulses or thoughts she might have, for displays of selfishness, jealousy or violence. Imo, they can even work some of those out together (wink wink, but not only in that way lol). At the same time, I do believe Astarion saw from the first glance he had at Karlach (or in the first couple of days) that she carried a pain much like his. It’s why he respects her, why he is so quick to apologize to her and only to her, why he feels empathy for her suffering while being absolutely cold to the others. She’s the first one who gives him the opportunity of allowing himself to feel safe, to let his guard down if only for a night. His connection with her might be based on a selfish start (it’s about him - she is like him), but it grows to be more complex as they grow closer. I see him slowly falling in love with her as a parallel to him slowly learning to love himself, to forgive himself.

It’s all so beautiful, poetic and layered and shit (wow, me so eloquent).

But in all honesty, that’s all to say, while I think Karlach and Dammon look nice together, I see him as being the person who’d have been the one for her if she was just Karlach Cliffgate. However, she is not. She is Karlach Cliffgate and she is also Karlach Demonsbane - and for that ‘her’, Astarion - with his imperfections, his wicked ways and his darkness - is the one who truly fits her perfectly (or imperfectly, which imo is even better).

Thank you for reading all this rambling. I love rambling and will (can) never stop so good for you :V

AGH I LOVE bittersweet gritty messy romanceeeeeeee (but I wanna give them a better ending than the one in game - though if the patches weren’t broken, it’s improved a bit already)

Astarion and Vatyrie at the beginning of their relationship is basically

Vatyrie lets Astarion drink his blood and seduces him, so if his identity as a demi-devil ex-noble is revealed, Astarion will want to keep him around and might convince the others to not send him away. Astarion does his thing with seducing Vatyrie for a similar reason: protection and ally-ship. Vatyrie realizes first that he is falling for Astarion around the end of Act 1 (though he honestly starts developing feelings shortly after their first night together).

Then in Act 2 when they realize they have real feelings for the other, it comes with The Guilt of worrying that they've just manipulated the other person. Astarion realizes his feelings much later but he is the first one to bring it up in the Act 2 confession scene. And What a fuckin RELIEF it is for them to realize they not only feel the same but also have both been stumbling around feeling guilty about "manipulating" the other. To know that they won't lose the other or be pushed away for doing what they thought they had to to protect themselves, for a mistake made when they didn't know any better.

just leaving this here

Initial Thoughts: Gale's Hunger

When I first started BG3 and I first encountered Gale's Arcane Hunger. I thought it would of been an all game sorta deal. And y'know I was fully prepared to just give up all my magic items. Like I was already planning which items I was giving him.

So when it stopped at three, I was sorta relieved and sorta disappointed. Like damn, I had this entire menu planned, and I thought I was gonna be screwed and had to make a tough decision like mid way through.

Bg3 ramblings about astarion

The astarion romance is just getting so so good, every little scene with him gets so surprisingly earnest and sweet (even if it's for a few moments) AGH this man is Killin me softly fr I love him sm 😔❤️

i foolishly started another playthrough of bg3 in the early access even tho the game comes out for realskies in like a week or so and i'll have get to make more characters/new pts anyway.

trying to make myself not be a pretty wood elf/half elf druid so rolled drow paladin (i'm def going to play a druid first once it's out for real tho b/c talk to animals is my favorite larian studios skill and i'm so sad without it. i just want to talk to all the animals and also wild shape!) and it's actually been pretty fun to just be tanky and whack things.

npcs are super rude to drow tho, it's real da elf and skyrim khajit/dunmer flashback hours (i don't love it? the fantasy race racism stand-in in rpg games always feels not terribly thoughtful? i realize it's b/c the source material has it but still idk there's got to be a better way and wotc/dnd is historically still not great at it)

i keep attempting to play a different type of character (i usually start to swing chaotic good no matter where i start lol), but it's difficult and also it's real hard not to flirt with astarion even if he disapproves of my kinda do-gooder paladin atm lol (i think b/c a character disproves sometimes my contrary nature takes the better of me b/c i'm like oh no but i want *them* to like me even tho everyone else approves or maybe b/c everyone else approves XD i've already romanced him & shadowheart tho, gotta try someone else's arc or proto arc as it were lol. BUT FLIRT WITH HOT KINDA STANDOFFISH ELF!!! i am weak T.T)

still wish you could set up the "what do you desire" character to be genderfluid and appear as both masc/femme forms. like my characters are all bi/pan! they're attracted to lots of people- idk if they've said anything about this? i haven't been watching *too* many dev videos b/c i don't want to spoil myself too much but i did some searching to see if it was mentioned anywhere yet and couldn't find anything (i did see that they'll have more body types for your tav at least in the final which is another small thing i dislike about the early access cc- even tho you can pick non binary as an id, you're still stuck w/ very binary body choices)

bg3 ramblings

me [talking to a creepy undead man who wants me to do a quest for him]: "well you seem to be a man of resources, got anything that i can have?"

him: offers me a bell of summon creepy golem

me: fuck it, sure, take it

literally everyone in my party: *approves*

Gale, Shadowheart, and Astarion are my homies, they love when i fleece the undead 😂

(...i swore i've tried to travel with other companions, but it always ends up me with my crew)

So I was googling night orchids to see if they were a thing on earth and came across this

Nocturnum...Nocturne. I am now making it an HC that when Shadowheart says Night Orchids are her favorite flowers it's not just because of Shar, or the cave, it's because of Nocturne

I’m sorry but how can anyone dislike gale he’s such a delight

spawn astarion:

ascended astarion:

Guys, don’t freak out. My brain comes up with dark and horrible ideas but it comes and goes.

If I ever do something about Karlach’s past where she has something with Gortash it’ll be STUPIDLY tagged and trigger warned (and tbh I might make another account just for that sort of super dubious content).

I might not even do it at all. Today I woke up and the urge to draw it was gone, for example. But it comes and goes, so I know it’ll return.

I know it’s super controversial as an idea, but tbh there’s similar stuff all around about Astarion and Cazador, even some Wyll and Mizora. But ANYWAY.

All potential dub/noncon content I might ever make will be hidden under a bazillion TWs. You’ll have to act on your morbid curiosity to see it 😂