#NOT EVEN ONCE she brought up how paranoid he was A LOT and like. at the time i was trying to be a little more open abt my paranoia w her an | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justagalwhowrites · 26 days

Text

Yearling - Ch. 33: Discovery

You, Joel and Tommy go on patrol. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-32 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence. Torture. Smut :). No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only

Length: 9.8k

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

February, 2028

“Bambi, tell your husband to stop being a wuss.”

“Wuss?” Joel shifted to look around you to his little brother. “Who you callin’ a wuss?”

“Think I’ll call my brother-in-law a dumbass instead,” you smirked over toward Tommy. “Seems more accurate.”

“You tellin’ me we shouldn’t be following that path there?” Tommy nodded toward a worn spot in the snow on the other side of the river where the three of you had stopped, sitting astride your horses. “The one that looks like it could’ve been made by a dozen fuckin’ men?”

“Who knows how old that is,” Joel said. “Been weeks since it snowed. And water’s lookin’ high. Would be real easy to end up cold and wet for no damn reason…”

“Seem awful scared of winding up cold and wet for someone who’s not a wuss,” Tommy teased.

“I don’t want my wife,” Joel stressed the word and you smiled a little, tucking your chin into your chest to hide it. “Being cold and wet and getting sick because you’ve got some harebrained idea that we need to run down some track that’s long dead.”

“Bambi, c’mon,” Tommy said. “You know I’m right, you know the horses can handle it and you know Joel’s just bein’ paranoid because you’re here.”

Joel wasn’t about to tell Tommy that he was right. At least, not while he was out on his first patrol since the incident in November. It would just worry you, might make you drag him back to Jackson before patrol was done. But Tommy was right. Joel had been nervous all day, worrying about seeing you hurt. Worrying that, whoever had been after him would hurt you, too. That wasn’t something he could abide at any time but now that you were his wife, it was more vital. It felt different somehow.

A lot of things did.

Not that there had been much tangible change since the two of you had said your vows that night in Joel’s bed. Since the attack, you hadn’t slept at your own house even once, you were already living together in every way that mattered. Ellie and Savvy had become like sisters in the few months that Savvy had been in Jackson, you like a mother to his daughter and him like a father to yours. And Joel had always been driven to protect you, from the first moment he saw you he knew he would do damn near anything to keep you safe. But the sense of peace and permanence he had calling you his wife made life alongside you another thing entirely. Protecting and caring for you was all the more necessary now.

The girls had taken the news well, all things considered. Joel hadn’t really been worried about Ellie’s reaction, of course. You were the closest thing she had to a mother and lord knew the girl had been working overtime trying to shove you and Joel back together after you’d left.

But he could tell you’d been worried about telling Savvy.

“That ring fittin’ OK?” He asked as he brought you a cup of coffee in bed just as the sun started to rise on Christmas morning.

“Hm?” You looked up at him from your spot nestled into the pillows, chest bare and blankets over your lap like they had been the night before as the two of you made promises to each other. The hand that was twisting your ring around and around on your finger stilled.

“You’re fidgetin’ something fierce there, Mrs. Miller,” he smiled a little and handed you the cup of coffee. “Wanted to know if that ring was fittin’ OK or if you were just getting cold feet on me.”

“It fits great,” you smiled a little over the coffee cup, taking a sip. “And no, no cold feet.”

“Alright,” he said, sitting in bed beside you in nothing but his pajama pants. His fingers trailed up the bare skin of your arm. “Then I think you should tell me what’s on that pretty mind of yours.”

“You’re gonna get us in trouble, touching me like that,” you said, taking another sip of coffee. “Girls will be here soon…”

“Oh I can be quick,” he teased. “But I’d rather not rush our wedding… well, morning…”

You rolled your eyes but laced your fingers with his, brushing his ring as you did.

“Talk to me,” he said, turning serious. “Don’t want to start this off with secrets.”

“It’s not a secret,” you sighed, looking at his hand for a moment longer before looking him in the eye. “But… I don’t want to hurt Savvy. I want this with you more than almost anything else. The only thing I want more is for her to be OK. I just don’t know how to tell her.”

Joel nodded slowly, watching you.

“Want to do it together?” He asked gently. You raised your eyebrows. “I don’t want to get in the way of anything but I don’t want you thinkin’ you’re in this alone because you’re not. That’s the whole point.”

You laughed once and then sighed.

“It might help,” you said after a moment. “I think she likes you more than she likes me.”

“Don’t think that’s true,” he said. “She’s just… dealing with some complicated things. And there ain’t a real guidebook for regular parenting, let alone how you raise a kid after the world ends. She loves you. She really does.”

“Should we tell the girls together then?” You asked, looking uncertain.

“I think, if you’re OK with that?” Joel shrugged. “Yeah. I’d like to do that with you.”

You smiled a little and the two of you adjusted in bed so that you were in his arms, your skin soft against his. You finished your coffee and got dressed just before the clatter of teenaged girls took over the house not long after.

Joel kept you tucked against his side as the two of you watched the girls open their gifts, his lips brushing your temple and giving you a squeeze when he could sense you getting tense. He gathered the two of them that afternoon as the four of you got ready to head to Tommy and Maria’s for dinner, your hands stuffed into the back pockets of your jeans as you paced the kitchen until Ellie and Savvy were there and you joined him at his side.

“What’s up?” Ellie frowned, looking between the two of you.

“Well,” Joel said gently. “We were hopin’ to talk to you girls about something…”

“Oh God,” Ellie groaned. “Please tell me no one’s doing anything stupid…”

“Nothin’ stupid,” Joel smiled a little, slipping an arm through yours to curve around your back and tug you close to his side. You looked up at him for a moment but he didn’t need to look back to know that you were on the verge of panic. He could feel it, your whole body was tense, your breaths short and shallow. “Something real good, actually. We wanted the two of you to know before anyone else but… well, we decided to get married.”

“Oh shit!” Ellie’s eyes went wide for a minute. “Congrats! It’s about damn time, honestly.”

Savvy, however, was silent. She looked between the two of you, her brows drawn together, a small frown on her face before she stalked out of the room.

You pulled away from Joel immediately and he went to follow you but you put up a hand and shook your head before chasing her down.

“Shit,” Ellie, said quietly, staring out the back door that you and Savvy had just left through. Joel clenched his jaw for a moment, resisting the urge to go find you no matter how badly he might want to.

“Still a sore subject for her, huh?” Joel asked Ellie after a moment.

She sighed.

“I really wish Bambi would give her some idea of what happened,” she said. “Because she really seems to think that she had some kind of easy fucking time… She asked me a little bit about it after you both got back last month. I guess she overheard the doctors talking but I didn’t know what to fucking say. I don’t think she’s actually pissed about the two of you. I think she’s pissed at the idea that she was on her own while her mom was having some happy life here.”

Joel sighed for a moment before giving in and following you out the back door. You were standing in the snow, halfway back to Ellie’s place, your back to him as you focused on Savvy.

“Don’t let me get in the way of whatever dream life you’re tryin’ to have here,” her tone was sharp. “Didn’t let me hold you back before…”

“That’s not what this is,” you said, calm and steady. But Joel could hear the pain on your voice. “You’re the most important thing in the world to me and…”

“You’ve got a funny way of showing that!”

Savvy noticed him then, narrowing glaring at him for a moment. You looked back over your shoulder to him, your eyes large and round and watery. He came up behind you, a hand going to the small of your back as he pressed himself against your shoulder.

“Baby girl,” Joel said gently. “I know this is something that’s big…”

“No shit,” she snapped in a way that was so Ellie that Joel considered talking to the older girl about how she spoke around the younger one.

“But,” he continued. “You and Ellie are our number one priority. Always have been…”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, looking into the distance instead of at either one of you.

“Us getting married is just about me and Joel,” you said, pressing yourself back into him. “It doesn’t mean we’re choosing each other over you, it doesn’t mean we love you any less. It just means we wanted to make that commitment to each other, that’s all.”

She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment before looking back at you.

“So what does this mean, then?” She asked. “What’s going to change?”

You looked up at Joel for a moment before looking back to her.

“Not a lot, really,” you said. “We haven’t really talked about where we’re going to live but that’s not too different from how things have been the past few weeks. No one here uses my real name, anyway, and you have your father’s last name, not mine, so even if I did decide to take Joel’s name, it wouldn’t change anything for you.”

She nodded slowly, considering. Joel marveled, for a moment, at how your daughter held her face just like you when she was thinking, the same purse to her lips, the same scrunch of her brow. You’d passed on so much to her even if you didn’t give her your blood.

“Think you can be OK with this?” You asked gently after a moment. “I don’t want to hurt you, honey. I love you more than anything, I don’t want you to be unhappy, especially not because of me.”

“I don’t want you to be unhappy, either,” Savvy said quietly. “I just… I still don’t really get this place. I’m making friends, I’m going to school but… it’s all so different. I still don’t know how I feel about any of it.”

“I know,” you said quietly, reaching out and cupping your daughter’s cheek. Joel held his breath for half a moment, until he realized that she wasn’t going to pull away from your touch. “And I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner or get you here when you were smaller and it would have been easier.”

“I don’t want to be angry,” she said, her voice thick and wet. “I’m so tired, Mom.”

“I know,” you said again, pulling her into you and holding her to your chest. She was stiff for a moment before relaxing into you, her arms going around your waist. “I know, baby.”

It got easier after that. At least on the surface. Savvy was still distant but she didn’t seem to be as antagonistic as she had been before. You moved into Joel’s house - though you traded the sound system at your house for Joel’s - and you set up one of the bedrooms upstairs for Savvy, even though she was still living at Ellie’s.

“At some point, Ellie is going to need her space,” you said, moving the twin sized bed for the fourth time, the wood groaning across the floor as you shoved it into a new place. “She’s a grown woman now…”

“Rather not think about that,” Joel grumbled, even though he’d been trying to find a way to talk to Ellie about her friendship with Jesse in particular. They seemed… close. And who knew what she’d been taught in that damn FEDRA school.

“Think about it or not,” you said, standing back, hands on your hips as you looked at your handiwork. “It’s comin’ for you. She’s going to want to actually live an adult life and that means adult space. Would rather her not feel like she needs to move out of the backyard right away to have that. So… Savvy can just come here.”

Joel thought it was a bit optimistic to think that Savvy would be willing to come here, but he couldn’t bring himself to say that. You were finally showing signs of hope about your relationship with your daughter. You’d been suffering with her so far away. You had done a good job of hiding it - he doubted anyone but him had noticed - but you couldn’t keep going like that, not forever. He didn’t want to ruin it, not now.

Your hopeful nature around Savvy was just another way the world seemed to be changing. The patrols outside Jackson were reporting more and more signs of people and, with them would come more infected. Patrols were starting to pick up and Joel felt the push to make himself useful again with more urgency than ever.

While Jackson was filled with incredibly skillful riders and hunters, Joel knew he was one of the best. Many of the folk here had lived a life that didn’t involve much struggle - at least, relatively speaking - after the outbreak. He’d survived with blood and he was more than willing to shed some more to protect his home and his family. Sitting on the sidelines, lame and useless, didn’t suit him.

He’d learned to avoid the gates and the stables when patrols were coming and going, not wanting to look at the men and women who got to go out and actually make themselves useful with envy that was rooted in the self loathing that had started to bloom inside of him.

He started going to talk to the doctors at least once a week, seeing if he’d made enough progress to start going outside the walls of the city again. It was slow going. Getting approved for sex and lighter work around town was one thing. Getting the OK to go outside and hunt down raiders was - apparently - another matter entirely. But, eventually, he got a hesitant OK from both doctors.

Joel got them to put it in writing - feeling only a little bit like a school boy taking a report card home to his mother - and headed straight for the stable to show you. You were working with a horse, one that had been foaled in Jackson right around the time he’d first found you in the snow. It was old enough now that you could work with it, accustomed enough to people that you’d told him you thought you’d be able to get the horse to broke fast. He stood and watched you for a bit, you standing beside her and getting her used to someone putting pressure on her body to guide her, talking to her in that gentle voice you used when working with animals.

“You gonna just stand there and watch, cowboy?” You asked after a few minutes, not looking over your shoulder to him but Joel knew you were smiling all the same. “Or is there something I can do for you?”

“Man need a reason to come look at his wife?” He asked. You twisted look at him at that and he was right, you were smiling. “I don’t think he does. Not when she’s as pretty as you, anyway.”

“Uh huh,” you looked back to the horse, giving her a treat of some kind. “Feel like you’re tryin’ to butter me up over there.”

“Maybe,” he shrugged. “Or maybe I just needed to look at ya for a minute.”

“Gimme five minutes,” you said, throwing a mischievous look over your shoulder. “Then maybe you can do more than look.”

Joel laughed a little and watched you finish up with the horse before you led her inside and put her in her stall, him trailing behind you. In all honesty, he was happy to watch you work. You were so good with them, you cared so deeply. It was enthralling in the best possible way, just the physical manifestation of one of the infinite reasons he loved you.

You latched the stable door when you were done with the horse and stood close to Joel, taking his shirt by the fistful and pulling him against you so you could kiss him. He was happy to let you, one of his hands finding your face to hold you in just the right spot so he could dip his tongue into your mouth while you moaned against his lips.

“Before this goes too far,” he said after pulling back from you. “Should talk about something…”

“Should we?” You asked, tugging him against you for another kiss.

“Mhmm,” he hummed against your mouth. You released him and stepped back a little, frowning. He smiled a little. “S’nothing bad, don’t gotta look so worried about it.”

“Alright,” you said, a hint of challenge in your voice. “Then what is it?”

“Well,” he said, holding your gaze and trying to shake the feeling that he’d done something he shouldn’t have. “Talked to the doctors…”

Your eyes narrowed.

“And they’ve OKed me to go out on patrol again…”

“GodDAMMIT Joel!” You stomped away from him, back to him, arms crossed. He gave you a moment to seethe, his hands in his pockets, thumbs drumming a stuttering rhythm on the denim. After a few deathly quiet seconds, you turned back. “Really? You really want to go get yourself fuckin’ killed…”

“Sweetheart…”

“Are we just not enough for you?” You demanded, stalking up to him, arms still crossed tightly in front of you. “Me, Ellie, Savvy. Are we not enough? Do you need to go get some kind of goddamn adrenaline rush, is that it?”

He resisted the urge to fight you on it. Your eyes were watery and wide and pleading.

“You know that’s not what it is, baby,” he whispered. A single tear slipped down your cheek and he reached out to gently take your face in his hand, catching it on his thumb. “You’re more than enough, you’re more than I deserve. And you know I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Don’t make this about me,” you snapped. He ignored that, too.

“But we need people who can keep Jackson safe,” he said. “For you, for our girls. I can do that. You know I can…”

“You can’t if you get yourself fuckin’ killed!” You took a deep breath and centered yourself for a moment. “You’re still limping…”

“I know,” he nodded slowly. “But they think I’ll probably limp at least a little for the rest of my life. S’OK. I can ride just fine, won’t hurt me bein’ able to fight…”

“Bullshit.”

“It’ll be OK,” he said gently. “And I’m willin’ to go out with you or Tommy….”

“And,” you cut him off.

Joel frowned.

“And?”

“Me and Tommy,” you replied. “Deal’s changed. You’re limping, you can’t go out with just one of us, it has to be both.”

He sighed.

“Bambi…”

“You want me on board?” You asked. “That’s the deal.”

He sighed again.

“We can talk with Maria,” he said. “See if we have the space for it.”

“Alright,” you said “Because I’m not going to just sit here and watch you get yourself hurt or killed. That’s not what I signed up for.”

“Not what I’m asking you to do,” he said gently. “I don’t want to not come home to you, baby. But I need to make sure I’m doin’ my part to keep Jackson safe.”

It had taken a few weeks for things to line up right with patrols and Joel could feel how tense you were leading up to the day the three of you were heading out. You’d clung to him especially hard the night before. Ellie and Savvy had joined the two of you for dinner and then to play cards and you’d held it together pretty well until they left. But the second they were gone it was like a switch flipped. You pressed yourself against his side, your arms wrapped around his bicep, your head tight against his shoulder.

“You alright?” He frowned.

“Fine,” you said, voice tight.

When he took you to bed, you rode him aching and slow until you came and collapsed on top of him, Joel only lasting a few more deep thrusts into your tight heat before coming undone himself. He held you there, your head against his chest as his hand trailed a slow and easy path up and down your spine. He was still inside you when he felt your tears on his chest.

“Baby,” he said softly.

“Don’t make me come back alone,” you said, lifting your head from his chest enough to look at him, the rest of you still tight against his body. “Please, Joel. Don’t make me lose you, too.”

“Not losing me,” he held your face in his hands. “Promise.”

“You’ll always come back for me?” You whispered.

“Always,” he said softly. “I promise. As long as you promise to always be there to come back to.”

“Promise,” you said quietly.

He’d been worried about how the patrol was going to go after that, but you, him and Tommy had fallen back into your usual patterns easily once you were outside Jackson and you let yourselves relax into them a bit.

It had been an easy patrol until the three of you stopped to give the horses a chance to take a drink and saw the tracks across the river. And Joel couldn’t seem to shake the clutch of fear that gripped him at the thought of putting you in harm’s way by following the trail.

“Tommy, I swear to God, you ever hold this against me…” you began, but he cut you off.

“You’ll shoot me?” Tommy teased.

“Trample you with a horse,” you replied. “But… yeah. You’re right. We should check that trail.”

Joel gave you a look and you just looked back, your brows raised. He sighed.

“Alright,” he said. “Tommy, you take the lead since this is your damn scheme.”

“C’mon lovebirds,” he said, starting across the water. “Sooner we follow this path, sooner we can get back to town and the sooner you two can go back to leavin’ me out of whatever it is you two do.”

Joel was about to give Tommy shit but you beat him to it, lobbing a snowball at him and hitting him straight in the face. Joel barked a laugh as you tried to stifle yours, your arms crossed demurely over your saddle horn.

“Nice,” Tommy said as the snow slid off his face. “Real nice.”

“Well, say stupid shit, win stupid prizes,” you shrugged, smirking a little.

“Not cool, Bambi,” he said, wiping his face clean. “Not cool.”

“You’re right,” you replied, smirk growing. “Think it’s technically cold…”

Tommy leaned around you to look at Joel.

“You’ve had too much influence on your wife,” he said. “I remember when she was a nice girl…”

“Bullshit,” you said.

“Wouldn’t even look at someone mean…”

“Tommy, she’d have always kicked your ass whenever you did somethin’ dumb enough to ask for it,” Joel smiled, a little proud. “Now let’s move before you give ‘er another reason.”

Tommy wiped the last of the snow from his skin with a good natured shake of his head and started off. You called Gatling back into her spot on your saddle as Joel nodded for you to be in between the two of them so he could bring up the rear. At least this way, Joel or Tommy would get hit before you would.

The three of you followed the tracks for a few hours, until things shifted. You noticed it first, that the footprints in the snow looked more well traveled, like people were coming and going from this point in the forest more often than all the way to the water.

“There,” you said quietly, nodding to the brush off the trail. Joel looked where you indicated, a baited trap primed and ready.

“That ain’t been there long,” Tommy said. Joel came up alongside you, closer than he’d normally try to be when on horseback. But it kept the rising fear in him calmer, more contained. He looked around at the ground, the snow so worn down it was hard to have even a remote idea of how many people had been through here recently. Gatling gave a low, rumbling growl and you soothed her with a pet.

“We should go back,” Joel said. “Get backup…”

“That’d be wise.”

Your gun was drawn before Joel or Tommy could reach theirs and you twisted in your saddle to look behind you. Joel turned, too, his sidearm drawn, a group of six men on foot standing about 20 feet back. Their rifles were drawn, at least two of them trained on you. Joel’s jaw clenched.

“Why don’t you folks get off those horses,” a man at the middle of the group said. “See what we can figure out.”

You glanced toward Joel before you whistled Gatling down and started to dismount before he had a chance to argue. Joel did, too, arranging himself in front of you - Tommy at his side, shielding you, too - before stepping closer to the group. Joel slung his rifle forward on his arm but kept it tilted toward the man’s legs and not his head. The man who’d spoken smirked.

“Haven’t seen you out this way before,” the man said. “Care to tell us where you’re from?”

“Not really,” Tommy said as Joel looked the group over. They were all large and broad, young and cocky. Looked to be well fed. These weren’t travelers passing through, of that he was almost certain. “You can tell us, though, seein’ as you’re traipsin’ through our territory.”

“Your territory?” The man raised his brows. “Seems like a bold claim for two men and their… pet to make.”

Tommy snapped his rifle up before Joel did.

“Say that shit about her again,” he snapped. “Fuckin’ dare you.”

Your hand went in the middle of Joel’s back, right between his shoulder blades, a gentle and grounding force, before you appeared at his side, Gatling practically glued to your calve.

“Bambi,” Joel growled, your hand trailing over his back before raising your rifle.

The man looked at you, amused.

“She’s come to play,” he smiled. “That’s good, I like ‘em with a little fight…”

“Trust me when I tell you that I’m doing you a favor, giving you the chance to deal with me,” you said, sounding almost eerily calm. “Try me and they’ll kill you. Assuming I don’t kill you first.”

Gatling growled at your feet, crouched and ready to spring.

“Now,” you said. “Where are you from.”

The man looked at you for a moment, all but licking his lips, before turning back to Joel and Tommy.

“You really let your little woman run the show?” He asked. “Can think of a lot better uses for her smart mouth…”

Gatling snarled and flattened her ears against her head. Joel’s eyes narrowed, raising his gun so it was now aimed at the man’s chest, not his legs.

“That’s my wife you’re talkin’ about,” he strained to keep his voice calm. “Now, you gonna tell us where you’re from or are you gonna make me gun you down?”

“How about this,” the man said, still seeming over confident. “You tell us where you’re from, maybe let us have a little fun with your whore wife, you go on your merry way. Otherwise, we can just kill you.”

Joel’s jaw clenched. Tommy adjusted his grip on his gun and Joel gave him a look before glancing over to you.

“Any of them look familiar?” He asked, voice dangerous and low.

“No,” you said. “Don’t know any of them.”

Joel focused back on the men.

“Good.”

He reached out an arm and swept you behind him a half second before he started shooting, Tommy following suit almost immediately. The men shot back, a bullet glancing off Joel’s shoulder as they did. You, of course refused to stay where Joel had tucked you for long. You stepped alongside him, firing, too, as Joel tried not to be distracted by the terrifying possibility of you, bleeding on the ground.

But the three of you were lucky. The men clearly hadn’t been doing this long. Joel wasn’t sure if they were just bad shots or if shooting and killing a person wasn’t something they were really comfortable with yet but either way, they’d dropped five of them, the sixth taking off, a bullet hole in his leg.

You lowered your gun.

“Gatling,” you panted before snapping and pointing toward the man. “Capture.”

She shot off like a rocket, her ears pressed flat against her head. The man was no match for her speed and she launched herself at him, her jaws clamping around the man’s bicep as she wrenched his body to the ground.

You took a deep breath and then looked to Joel’s arm, where there was now a hole in his jacket that the cold air bit through and a small spray of blood.

“Why do you always find some way to get fuckin’ shot?” You asked, your thumbs gently tracing the outside edge of the small wound.

“Just talented I suppose,” Joel smiled a little before looking over at Tommy. “You OK?”

“Fine,” he slung his rifle over his shoulder. “Should question that fucker and get the hell out of here before worse shows up.”

Joel led the way, drawing his knife. The three of you stood over the man, the same one who’d done all the talking before. He seemed much less cocky now, whimpering as Gatling growled around the meat of his arm.

“Call off your fucking dog!” He sobbed. “Fuck, please! I’ll tell you whatever you want, please!”

“Not one to give in to demands like that, but…” Joel looked at you.

“Gatling,” you said. “Release.”

The dog dropped the man’s arm and came to stand against your side, her ribs pressed to your leg. Joel caught the man’s shoulder with the toe of his boot and rolled him onto his back. He tried to sit up but Joel stopped him, pressing his foot into the wound from Gatling’s jaws on the man’s arm. He cried out as Joel forced him to the ground and Tommy kicked the man’s gun away.

“Now,” Joel said, getting down low and putting a knee at the center of the man’s chest. “You’re gonna answer some questions for us.”

***

Normally, watching Joel hurt someone would turn your stomach. It wasn’t a sight you enjoyed to begin with and you’d never seen him torture someone since you’d known how he learned how to. The fact that he had anything in common with the man bleeding on the ground made your stomach clench.

But this was different. Savvy was back in Jackson now. There were a lot of lines you were more than willing to cross to keep men like this far, far away from her. Including this one.

You rested your hand on Gatling’s head, the warmth of her fur comforting and familiar.

“Look at her,” Joel said, taking the man’s chin in his hand and forcing him to face you before looking at you himself. “You sure you don’t know him? Want to make sure I make this worse if you do.”

“I’m sure,” you said. It was oddly comforting, his threat. It was good to know that Joel was still Joel, even when doing stuff like this.

He nodded once and looked back at the man.

“Count yourself lucky,” he said. “She’s makin’ this easier for you. Now, where are you from.”

“Territory north west of here,” he panted. “In Idaho.”

“What brings you down this way?” Joel asked.

The man was silent for a moment outside of his labored breaths, his eyes closed in a wince. Joel sighed, sounding exasperated before lifting his knife.

“I’m gonna ask again,” Joel said. “Last time it’ll be nice. Why are you here.”

“Why should I tell you, hm?” The man spat. “You’re just gonna hurt me, kill me anyway, what goddamn difference does it make?”

“Now see, that’s just a bad attitude to have,” Tommy said, kneeling next to the man. He grabbed a fistful of his hair and forced his head to turn. “We can make this real hard or real easy. We got a lot of incentive to make this easy. We want to get back home to our families, don’t want to just be out here in the cold for hours on end because you’re being a goddamn dumbass. But, we have shit we need to protect. And if that means stayin’ out here while we take you apart piece by piece until you tell us what we want to know then, well, so be it.”

“Give you just a second to think about what my brother told you,” Joel said, pressing the tip of the knife to the man’s shoulder but not pushing it in. “And then you can answer now or you can answer later. Why are you here.”

The man closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep, shuddering breath before opening them again.

“There are too many of us,” he said. “Too many groups, been fighting over space for the past few years. Decided to work together for a time, find new territory to expand into. Sent us out here to see what might get in the way. Been tracking the territory of a settlement about a day’s walk from here, trying to see where we can push in and what they’ve got to push back…”

You stiffened, a chill running up your spine. Joel looked up to you, his eyes as concerned as you felt. He looked back at the man.

“How’s that been workin’?” Joel asked. “How are you tracking it?”

“We’ve been marking what we think the outside edges are,” he said. “We’ve been pushing in closer, last few months…”

“Who’re you workin’ with?” Joel asked.

“What?” The man asked, confused.

Joel sighed before pressing the knife into the man’s shoulder and he screamed.

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” Joel said. “The way you were talkin’ about my wife? I really wouldn’t mind taking my time and takin’ you apart. Who are you working with. Want names.”

“I don’t know!” He sobbed. “Swear I don’t, we run with a guy called Smith, he’s joined up with a couple other guys with groups like his, I don’t know their names…”

“Try and remember,” Joel growled, pressing the knife deeper. You winced and looked away, trying not think about Joel doing this before. Your stomach turned. “The name Mitchum ring a bell?”

“No,” the man said quickly. “Please, no, I promise I don’t know the names! Just that there are three or four of ‘em, that’s all.”

“How far out are the others you’re working with?” He asked. “They gonna be breathing down our necks any second?”

“No,” he said. “No, they’re a few days walk at least…”

Joel nodded before he reached out, brushing his fingers over the outside of your thigh, bringing your attention back to him.

“Any other questions?” He asked you. “Other names?”

“No,” you shook your head quickly. “Nothing else.”

Joel nodded, turning back to the man.

“Can’t let you live,” he said. “You’re a liability. You’re too hurt to get a message back to your people so there’s no point in risking it.”

“Fuck you,” the man spat and Joel shrugged.

“Shitty last words,” he said, pulling the knife from his shoulder before quickly slitting the man’s throat. He gasped and burbled on his own blood for a minute before he went still and quiet. Joel wiped his knife clean on the man’s shirt before sheathing it and getting to his feet. He looked to you then, his eyes wide and soft and deep.

“You with me?” He asked gently. You nodded quickly. He reached out, slowly, to take your face in his hands. His thumbs traced your cheekbones and his eyes looked into yours. “You’re OK? Not…”

“Yeah,” you said softly, cutting him off. “I’m OK.”

You weren’t sure how true that was. He pulled you against him, pressing his lips to your forehead before cradling you against him and holding you for a moment.

“Much as I’m happy you two have worked your shit out,” Tommy said. “We should get moving. Pretty sure he was tellin’ the truth but I don’t want to bet our lives on it.”

The three of you mounted up again, Gatling settling into her space on the front of your saddle.

“So,” Tommy said after you’d been riding for a bit. “Am I allowed to ask the obvious question?”

“Tommy,” Joel said, a warning on his voice.

“Look,” he replied. “Not tryin’ to hurt anyone or fuck up things between you two. But I’ve got a job to do when it comes to protecting my town and protecting my family and you two are a part of both of those things. Can’t defend from something I don’t know.”

“You don’t need -” Joel began but you cut him off.

“Mitchum was the man who held me captive for two years,” you said, staring straight ahead. Gatling gave a small whimper and you scratched her head. Tommy was quiet for what felt like a small eternity.

“He…” Tommy’s voice trailed off. “Two years?” You nodded, not able to look at him. “Two goddamn years?”

Your jaw tightened and your stomach turned.

“Two goddamn years and he ain’t dead yet?” Tommy asked, voice shifting to anger as he rounded on Joel. “The fuck have you been doing?”

“You think he’d still be breathin’ if I knew where to find him?” Joel snapped. “Ain’t that easy.”

“Should do to that fucker whatever he did to you,” Tommy said, ignoring Joel now. “Why haven’t you mentioned this before? We could’ve helped you, could’ve tried to track him down…”

“She don’t want to talk about it, Tommy,” Joel hissed. “Leave it.”

Gatling stretched up to give you a small lick on the chin.

“Joel’s right,” you said, finally making yourself look at the man who had become as much of a brother to you as the boys you’d grown up with had been. The pity in his eyes almost made you turn away. “I don’t want to talk about it. But you should know that he’s still after me. Joel and I ran into trouble on patrol before. One of the men then was one that… I knew him, from before. He said Mitchum is looking for me. He’s got a crew, at least 50 guys when I got out, and he’s looking for me.”

“Jesus,” Tommy shook his head for a moment before steeling himself. “He’s not gettin’ his hands on you. We’ll protect you, not going to let him hurt you, you understand me?”

“I know,” you said, looking straight ahead again. You tried not to think about what the man had just said. That there were groups of men like Mitchum, all bearing down on Jackson.

“Who all knows?” Tommy asked, calmer now. “About… what happened.”

“Joel,” you said, though that should have been obvious. “Ellie knows the broad strokes of it. Now you.”

“Not Savvy?” He asked, frown so evident in his voice that you looked over at him again. He looked sad and you tried not to resent him for it.

“Don’t need her having that shit in her head,” you said, looking forward again.

Tommy was silent for a few minutes.

“I’m really sorry, Bambi,” he said eventually. “You shouldn’t…”

“I don’t want your pity,” you said, harsher than you’d really meant to. “Just… forget I said anything.”

“But…”

“I said fucking forget it, Tommy.”

The rest of the ride back was quiet and you wanted to fix it. But, more than that, you wanted things to go back to how they’d been before. Where Tommy would give you shit and you’d give him shit back, not where he was going to pity you and handle you with kid gloves. You wanted him to keep being your brother, not someone who kept you at arm’s length because they kept picturing the shit that had happened to you.

Olivia was at the stable when the three of you made it back and you were almost disappointed that you wouldn’t be able to get lost in handling the horses on your own for a while. When she stepped to the side for a moment, you took a deep breath and turned to Tommy.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” you said, hoping that this would at least start to fix things. “I get that you need certain… information. I just don’t want you seeing me any different.”

“I don’t,” he gave you a sad half smile. “Just think you’re more badass now, that’s all.”

You scoffed but he waved you off.

“I mean it,” he said. “I do. And I’ll keep it to myself, alright?”

“Thank you,” you said and he pulled you in for a small hug.

“You might be Joel’s girl,” he said. “But you’re my sister. I’m gonna look out for you. No one’s allowed to fuck with you except me.”

You laughed a little at that, Tommy reminding you so much of Richie for a moment.

“I’ll go report out on this patrol,” he said, stepping back from you and looking to Joel. “We got some good information, it’ll help us be ready for whatever’s comin’ our way.”

Joel nodded, a concerned look on his face.

“We’ve weathered hard shit before,” Tommy said. “We can handle whatever these assholes have to throw at us. Took a lot to establish our territory here and I’m not afraid to shed a little blood to protect it.”

He set off and you, Joel and Olivia took care of everything else in near silence, Olivia just filling you in on the goings on while you were gone, seemingly unaware of any tension on the air.

“Should we go by the doctor?” You asked as you and Joel went to leave, your arms tight across your chest. “See if you need stitches or anything?”

“No,” he replied, draping an arm over your shoulders and tugging you closer to press a kiss to your temple. “It’s nothing too bad. Just want to get home.”

You just nodded and let him guide you home, walking in silence, the looming threat from the man Joel had questioned keeping your mind far away.

But when Joel opened the front door, you weren’t met with a quiet living room. Instead, Ellie and Savvy were sitting on the floor around the coffee table, Uno cards fanned out in their hands.

“Should never have told you how the draw cards work,” Ellie was muttering, her back to you and her already sizable hand growing as she drew from the deck in the middle of the table.

Savvy looked up as the door knob thudded into the wall, her eyes finding yours. Her face lit up like she was happy to see you - actually happy to see you.

“Mom!” She dropped her cards and jumped up. “You’re back!”

She ran over to you but stopped short of hugging you, looking you up and down before looking at Joel, too.

“Are you guys OK?” She asked, a little more reserved now, more how you were used to seeing her over the past few months. “Everyone made it through and stuff?”

“We’re fine,” you smiled, trying to actually be in the room with her instead of worrying about the threat of raiders on the horizon. It was easier, knowing that she actually wanted you there. “Is everything OK? What are you two doing here?”

“You were gone a little long,” she bit her lip and shoved her hands in her back pockets. “We just… we wanted to make sure you got home.”

You smiled, reaching out to tuck the stray curl that always popped out from her braids behind her ear. It was an automatic thing, a gesture you’d done countless times since she was a toddler. It didn’t occur to you until your fingers were almost brushing her skin that she might pull back from you now. But she didn’t. She let you touch her, adjusting her hair and cupping her cheek.

“Missed you,” you said quietly.

She smiled. It was tight, a little hesitant, but it was a smile.

“I missed you, too.”

Ellie had gone to the mess hall and brought back dinner for you and Joel and the two of you ate as Ellie and Savvy got Monopoly set up at the kitchen table. The four of you played a game, you paying more attention to explaining things like rents and mortgages and how they’d worked in the real world to Savvy. She crinkled her nose, the concept of money and paying to live inherently foreign to her. Joel kept a hand on your knee for most of it, his thumb tracing a gentle pattern there as you let Savvy clean you out, a small smile on your face every time you had to pay her.

“Well, some of us have to be up early tomorrow,” Ellie said, stretching, back arched like a cat after she won the game. “C’mon Savvy.”

“Yeah, alright,” Savvy yawned and tried to stifle it before getting to her feet.

“It was good to see you,” you said, crossing your arms to keep from reaching for her. “Thank you for staying a while.”

“Yeah,” she smiled, small but not as tight as it had been lately. “It was good to see you, too.”

She looked at you for a moment before hesitantly stepping closer. You lowered your arms and forced yourself to keep them at your sides until she reached for you, hugging you. You slowly, cautiously, hugged her back, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you held her close. She felt so foreign but so familiar all at once. You’d never had a chance to truly get used to holding her in the body she’d grown into in the years you were apart but she was still so her, smelling and moving the same as she always had.

You held onto her until she pulled away, her awkwardly staring down at your shoes before clearing her throat.

“Well…” she said. “Goodnight Mom. Joel.”

“Night,” Joel said, coming up alongside you, one of his large hands splaying wide over the small of your back.

“Goodnight,” you smiled a little, your voice wet.

Ellie gave you an encouraging look and followed Savvy out the back door and into the yard. You just stood there, watching them go, until they were inside the shed and the light turned on there.

“Hey,” Joel said quietly from beside you. You turned enough to look at him. He was watching you closely, frowning slightly. “How we doin’?”

You frowned.

“I’m fine,” you said. “Not really sure what you’re asking…”

“Well,” he looked off to the side for a moment before steeling himself and looking back to you with a heavy sigh. “Back when you first came back to me… You said you might need space sometimes. Today… There was a lot that happened, I had to do some shit that I’m sure ain’t easy to watch and… baby, if you need some distance from me…”

“Joel,” you said softly, twisting in his gentle hold so your front was pressed against his. You reached up and trailed your fingers through his curls.

“Want to give you whatever it is you need,” he said as your hands came to rest on his broad chest. He took your wrist gently in his palm and brought it to his lips pressing a kiss into your pulse point. “Even if that’s time away from me.”

“I don’t want that,” you said. “I just want to know you’re here.”

He pulled you a little closer, the hand that was on your wrist trailing down your arm before curling around your back.

“Why don’t we go get cleaned up,” he said, voice low, before leading you upstairs.

You undressed each other while the shower warmed up. You unbuttoned his shirt slowly, methodically, running your fingers over his bared chest before pressing your lips into him there. You examined the place on his arm where the bullet had grazed him, the cut already scabbing over.

“You got lucky,” you said, your fingers tracing over the older scars on his body before you kissed just below the new one.

“Been a lot luckier than I deserve for a while now,” he said quietly.

Once Joel undressed you, you took his hand and led him into the water. You cleaned him gently, lathering the soap in your hands before running them over his skin, cleaning the blood and dirt from his body and finding every mark on him that you’d gotten to know so well. He washed you in return, his large hands cupping your breasts, trailing over your stomach, your arms, cupping you between your legs with tender care. When you were both clean, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your slick, wet body against his own. His cock - half hard and thick - nestled against your stomach.

“C’mon baby,” he said, tilting your head so he could look in your eyes while his nose brushed your own. “Let me take you to bed. Don’t want to rush this with you and don’t trust my bum leg to let me take my time in here.”

You smiled a little and kissed him.

“Promise you’ll take me to a lake this summer?” You asked. “Because I really want to fuck you in the water.”

He closed his eyes and laughed, low and needy.

“Promise, baby.”

You kissed him again.

“Then take me to bed.”

Joel reached behind you to turn off the water and wrapped you securely in a towel before running one quickly through his curls and over his own slick body. You enjoyed the view for a moment - the muscle of his arms and chest, the soft and welcoming swell of his stomach - before starting off toward the bedroom, dropping your towel halfway down the hall and looking back over your shoulder to catch your husband staring at you as you did.

It didn’t take him long to join you, his hands on your waist soon after you were in your bedroom, turning you to face him. His cock was fully hard as he kissed you, his lips hot and needy against you. You arched into his touch, the feeling of him against you, the taste of him on your tongue.

He pulled back from you just enough that you could look into his eyes, all molten hot and soft and open, his nose brushing yours, still breathing the same air.

“Tell me how to take care of you,” he said softly. “Tell me what you need.”

“Just you,” you said, voice breathy and trembling. “I need to feel you, I need you close.”

His mouth swallowed your words as he nudged you back down onto the bed. He arranged you in the middle of it, his skin never far from yours, before he settled in the cradle of your hips. His thick length pressed against your slit, making you moan as he kissed down your shoulder to your breast, taking the firm, pebbled part of you into his mouth and sucking you gently. You whimpered, grinding your hips against him. He kissed over your swell of flesh to your breast bone before looking up at you there, his gaze hot and desperate.

“Needy, are you?” He all but growled before pressing another kiss to your chest. “Don’t worry baby, I’ll take real good care of you. Just let me enjoy you first.”

He worked his way to your other breast, sucking you there while he cupped and gently toyed with the other one, his cock rocking against your core the whole time. You could feel your pussy starting to drip for him, your grasping entrance desperate for something to hold.

“Please Joel,” you panted, working your hips up against him as best you could with the weight of him holding you still. “I need you, please, please…”

He pulled his mouth from your nipple with a reluctant groan before adjusting his hips, your clit throbbing in protest of the loss of contact for a moment before you felt his head notch against your entrance. Joel hovered over you, the soft skin of his chest and stomach ghosting over yours, one of his hands coming to cradle the crown of your head, his thumb tracing tenderly along the peak of your hairline.

“What do you need?” He asked, sounding nearly breathless himself. “What’s my pretty, perfect wife need, hm?”

“You,” you whimpered. You didn’t really care if you sounded pathetic, you needed Joel too much. “Inside me, please, please…”

“Don’t worry baby,” he said. “Give you exactly what you need, always gonna take care of you.”

You felt him press into you then, his cock opening your tight channel as he sank into you. You closed your eyes and arched into the familiar, pleasant burn of the stretch of him followed by the almost shocking fullness when he was fully sheathed within you. He stilled there for a moment, your body adjusting to his size, and you could feel all of him. He was so close like this, closer than anyone else had ever been. Your body held onto his, your thighs around his hips, hands over his chest, pussy stretched taut over his cock. You could feel every breath he took, every throb of his cock within you. He was yours like this, yours and yours alone.

“This what you needed?” His voice trembled. You could only nod. He pulled back from you and you whimpered before he thrust back in with a grunt. “Good. Always give you what you need, baby, always.”

He fucked you hard and slow, his thrusts almost bruising in their force and making your hands leave his chest to twist and tangle in the blankets as your orgasm built. He set his aching rhythm, his tongue sweeping into your mouth and devouring all your needy, fucked out sounds.

Your whole being was drawn in tight and hot when he laced his fingers with yours, pinning your hand to the bed.

“C’mon baby,” Joel panted as he thrust into you deep and hard. “Let me feel you, just let go for me. You’re OK, you’re here with me, just give in. I’ve got you, baby. Take care of you, just give in, just come for me. Just come.”

You pressed your hips up against him and came, your fingers tightening around his as your pussy pulsed and throbbed and he fucked you through it.

Joel didn’t last long, though. Your climax had barely begun to ease when he pressed himself deep and came with a strangled cry. He kissed you as he finished before collapsing onto you for a moment, the heavy weight of him soothing and centering as you came back down to Earth.

After a minute, he pulled himself gently from your fucked out body and lay beside you, still panting for breath as he watched you next to him. You rolled to face him and pressed yourself close, burying your face in his chest that smelled like soap from the shower with a hint of sweat from what happened after. His hand brushed over your hair and down your back in a gentle, easy cadence. He pressed a kiss into the crown of your head and you felt him take a deep breath, his nose nuzzled into your hair.

“You with me?” He asked softly. You nodded into his chest. “How’re you feelin’?”

“After that?” You teased lightly. “I’m great.”

He chuckled.

“Not what I meant, love.”

You took a deep breath, taking the centering scent of Joel into yourself.

“I don’t know,” you said quietly. “I guess I just… I kept thinking raiders were far away from here. Sure, they were out there, we ran into them sometimes, but they weren’t a problem. Not really. But they’re not, they’re right there and I…” your voice cracked and he pulled you tighter.

“I know, sweetheart,” he whispered. “M’sorry.”

“Savvy’s here now,” you said, trying to keep yourself from crying. “Ellie… she goes out there. And now you do, too, and… I know I sound like a goddamn broken record but I cannot survive losing any of you. I can’t. And they just take, they take and take and they won’t stop until there’s nothing left and…”

You buried your face in his chest, not able to keep going.

“It won’t be like that this time,” he whispered. “You’re not doing this alone. I’ve got you and anyone who wants to even glance at you or our girls will have to go through me. And good luck keepin’ me from coming home to you.”

You laughed once at that, the sound thick and wet.

“I’m going to protect you, Bambi,” he said, his tone serious now. “I promise you. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll keep us all safe.”

Next Chapter

A/N: I dunno guys, I feel like something might be about to happen.

Could just be me, though.

👀👀👀👀

Thank you, as always, for reading. I really can't say how much it means to me that you're here, that you're so kind and supportive, that you choose to spend your time with this story. I appreciate it so much.

Love you!

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust@ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost@beccerjune@mumma-moonchild@netonetoneto@mellymbee@purplelye@n7cje@flugazi@evyiione@randomhoex@aliengirl99@orcasoul@reds-ramblings@pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel@jenispunk@panda-pascal@sarap-77@flugazi@your-slutty-gf@daniegraceg@partyofone3413@cumberpegg@noisynightmarepoetry.@fifia-writes@grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123@ashleyfilm

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #yearling #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #smut fic

159 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

Note

Am I the asshole for getting a restraining order against my anti-vax sister and her family?

I know that sounds bad but hear me out.

So I (27 M) and my wife (28 F) recently had our first child together six months ago and my parents and sister have started coming over to see our baby girl.

I didn't let them see the baby when she was born because unfortunately my wife and I were in a bad car accident. (Drunk driver ran us off the road and the car rolled down a small cliffside until it flipped over and crashed) we're both ok but my wife is now wheelchair bound and our daughter had to be delivered and put in an incubator for the rest of pregnancy because my wife was only 26 weeks pregnant at the time.

It was a miracle that our baby even survived.

But because my daughter was born so early she has a lot of health problems, including an incredibly weak immune system.

This is where the Am I The Asshole part comes in.

Obviously because of the horrible circumstances my family, particularly my sister, have been very patient on not being able to see the baby until everything settles down.

Well things have settled enough that we felt comfortable enough letting my parents come over to visit and meet their new granddaughter.

And that would've been fine if my sister (30 F) hadn't come too.

My sister is an anti-vaxxer. A hardcore anti-vaxxer.

Like full on believing in essential oils and healing crystals and literally ANYTHING other than traditional medicine. And considering the fact that she spent the entirety of my wife's pregnancy sending her guides for "vaccine detoxes", what essential oils to use and constantly pressuring her not to get our daughter vaccinated...yeah.

(Luckily my wife is way too smart to actually believe that bullshit and kept leaving my sister on read whenever she would start)

So my sister came over and brought her three children with her. None of her children are vaccinated.

She wanted to let her unvaccinated spawns near my heavily immunocompromised infant daughter.

Two of the three spawns were both sick with colds.

I cannot believe she would be that stupid.

So I yelled at her, telling her to take her children and leave because they sure as hell arent coming NEAR my daughter. She yelled at me saying that she wanted to see her niece and her essential oil covered gremlins would help give my daughter "natural immunity" and other anti vax crap. I argued back that if my daughter catches whatever PREVENTABLE diseases the kids are carrying she could very likely DIE.

And it turned into a whole big fight in the driveway. I ended up punching my brother in law (sister's equally anti-vax husband) in the face when he tried to push past me and let the children into my house. (He also punched me twice after that)

It was an entire mess.

Eventually my parents dragged my sister and her husband away and made them leave with their kids.

Once that whole ordeal ended I gave the entire driveway a deep clean and threw out the clothes I was wearing that day. (Call me paranoid but I do not want ANY risk of my baby girl getting sick and very possibly DYING because of my sister and her family)

My wife and I have my sister and her husband blocked on everything and I'm working on getting a restraining order against those people because there is no way in hell you could convince my sister to just vaccinate her children. So I do not want her, her husband or her children anywhere near my family ever again.

So Am I the asshole? My sister certainly thinks I am (my mother told me. she's been yapping away to her facebook group friends about how unfair and horrible I'm being when she did nothing wrong)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

269 notes · View notes

tourettesdog · 2 years

Text

DP x DC prompt where, after an identity reveal gone wrong, Jazz (who is freshly 18) grabs Danny and takes him to live in Gotham where she has a scholarship. Between Danny’s ghost powers and their parents’ hatred of Gotham (something about a ghost convention gone Very Badly, and Bruce Wayne refusing to fund their research), they’re willing to risk the crime rates.

Danny can’t resist doing his Phantom thing because of his Obsession, and within about 2.5 weeks Bruce is fighting Jazz for custody rights of him. Well, not really fighting since they could absolutely use a financial backer so Jazz can focus on school. Jazz also likes the idea of Danny getting proper training from Batman to keep him safe, since she can’t just make him stop fulfilling his Obsession.

They’ve been staying in the manor for about a week when Danny and Jazz realize that they’ve completely forgotten to address Dani. She’s continued her traveling for the last several months, but Dani told them on her last visit she was getting a bit lonely and wanted to try schooling-- after first visiting Australia, that is.

Danny and Jazz have kept in touch with Sam and Tucker, so they know that their friends will be able to steer Dani away from Amity Park and in their direction once she gets back... But, oh Ancients, now they have to actually address the clone in the room. And probably face a massive lecture from Bruce once he realizes they never mentioned their youngest sibling (and that they also just let her fly off to Australia by herself for two months without even a cellphone).

They’re not really concerned about the bats accepting Dani (they’ve already accepted that Danny is half ghost, which is a pretty high bar to cross), but they are Very concerned about the Questions her presence will invoke.

Danny and Jazz have managed to keep a lot of Danny’s Bigger ghost exploits under wraps (especially the time travel), but they know Bruce is going to take one look at Dani and it’s going to open up the “Hey so my arch nemesis is Vlad Masters-- yes I have an arch nemesis, and yes that Vlad Masters-- he cloned me-- why? Oh, he’s a halfa like me haha funny story-- oh and it Might be a problem if he ever finds out we’re here so you can’t confront him about any of this” can of worms.

Danny can’t be sure if Bruce will respect his tentative truce with Vlad. He’s pretty sure his new brothers and sisters will want to flog the man within an inch of his fruitloop (after)life if they ever find out about how many times he’s electrocuted Danny.

So at this point they’re just waiting for Sam and Tucker to warn them of Dani’s arrival— and trying to come up with a good cover story in the meantime. They MIGHT be able to pass Dani off as his twin (between Danny being trans and Dani mercilessly catching up to him in height, it seems doable). Only... they’re pretty sure Bruce will call immediate bullshit on them being twins once he tries to find paperwork about Dani. Hell, he probably already has access to Danny and Jazz’s birth certificates and would definitely notice a third one just magically appear (if they even managed to falsify one).

Their next idea (and the winning plan) is to be truthful about Dani being a clone, but to lie about her origins. They decide to pin all of the blame on Pariah Dark since he can’t exactly dispute clone fatherhood rights from his sarcophagus. Boom-- scapegoat.

Within the week, they get a text from Tucker saying Dani is on her way. Within the day, she’s on the front step of Wayne Manor. Dani’s hair is shorter than last time, she’s now exactly Danny’s height, and she looks a little too like him for it to not raise immediate red flags with a family of paranoid bats and birds.

It’s an absolute mess as they try to introduce Dani to the family. Just an absolute plethora of questions about clones and twins. (Apparently, the Waynes have dealt with clones before and are Very concerned? Danny didn’t even mention the word clone, they just brought that shit up in the foyer like it was common knowledge. He has to unpack that later.)

Jason happens to be there, and he’s just staring at Dani the entire time, trying to decide if it’s worth asking why Danny’s new twin(?) feels as dead as he does.

Dani, meanwhile, hears clones mentioned and just blurts out:

“Wait, did Vlad clone you guys too?”

Danny and Jazz belatedly realize they should have ran their plan by Sam and Tucker first. In a panic, they try to pass Vlad off as Pariah Dark’s real name.

Tim just looks up the one (1) Vlad in Amity Park and it spirals from there.

#dp x dc #danny phantom #dp #dp prompt #danny phantom prompt #dp x dc prompt #danny fenton #dani fenton #jazz fenton #dogposts #dogprompts

1K notes · View notes

davnittbraes · 5 months

Text

Affirmations - Part One

Part of the I’m Here universe.

Pairing: Marcus Pike x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit (not this part but the next one 😉)

Word Count: 2750

Warnings etc: anxiety, lots of negative self-talk, a lil bit of dissociation, LOVE YOURSELVES BABES, Marcus being a danger to my ovaries, brief reference to previous sexytimes

Reader-insert physical descriptors: none here but in Part Two hair long enough to comb fingers through

Notes: takes place a week after I’m Here but you don’t necessarily have to read it before this. Marcus and reader are in a newish relationship, their last time being intimate they pushed some boundaries, and reader confirmed she’s got a thing for letting her partner take control. Wink wink nudge nudge. Aka this relationship is heading in the BDSM direction.

I wrote this for @shirks-all-responsibilities, who rants about I’m Here Marcus so much I thought it damn well time he show her some love in return. I mean I also very much wrote it for me, too, like what is fanfic if not absolute self-indulgence 😂

Oh my god, it’s so late.

You pull into Marcus’ driveway, immediately cutting the engine, paranoid that the sound is too loud in the thick quiet of night covering the suburb.

It’s too late, really.

But he had said he wanted to see you, no matter how late you finished work. That a week was too long without seeing your beautiful smile.

So incredibly sweet - and so very Marcus.

Your gaze flicks to the illuminated clock on the car dash.

Still…

Okay, well, he had replied to your text not long ago, when you told him you were leaving work, reassuring you that he still wanted you to come over, stay for the weekend.

That had been the plan all week, you’d been looking forward to two whole days with him - the man who had rewritten your definition of romance.

No, not just romance - relationships in general. What it means to be with somebody.

To trust someone else implicitly.

To put your soul in their hands and know they’ll treat it like the greatest treasure.

And how that trust could lead to not only a depth of intimacy you’d never known possible, but also incredible, mind-blowing sex.

Last weekend, he’d shown you that. Took control, pulled you out of your own head, stripped away every worry and concern and anxiety and made you come so hard you’d fallen apart in his arms after.

Then, true to Marcus form, he didn’t push it. Didn’t force you to talk about it, just took care of you with his usual sweet gentleness.

But once the pleasure haze had faded and your thoughts came back together, anxiety had immediately started to gnaw at your throat.

What exactly had happened? How had he made you give up control like that, become so immersed in the desire to feel good and make him feel good that everything else fell away?

That was so unlike you, always present, always aware.

Though, it had felt incredible - it had been good for you.

A release that went deeper than an orgasm.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like it. Just that… it was…

Well, you never could stop analyzing every single thing that was brought to your attention. It’s not surprising that this was making you go around in circles trying to figure it out.

Your heavy sigh breaks the silence.

Some instinct tells you Marcus knows.

There had been moments, during that night, when you’d seen it in his warm brown gaze.

An understanding. A knowledge of what you were thinking, feeling, that surpassed even your own.

You need to talk to him.

So you’d been looking forward to this all week, to seeing him again. Struggling to fight back the anxiety that keeps trying to pull you into a spiral about that night, reminding yourself constantly that it’s okay, you can talk to Marcus about it, he’s safe.

You can trust him.

But all that was before you knew that your Friday was going to blow up in your face.

Before problem after problem was dumped on you and despite your every effort you couldn’t fix them all before they inevitably got worse.

And now you’re sitting here, long after you were supposed to be at his place.

The anxiety is gone, now, you’d caved to it hours ago, unable to keep it at bay. It had been replaced by something you can’t identify buzzing with an uncomfortable weight in the pit of your stomach.

You peer at his house through the windshield, chewing your thumbnail thoughtfully, teeth biting into the quick with a tiny jab of pain that distracts you enough to think through the situation.

The porch light is on, and so is the living room light, glowing through the curtains in the big picture window.

Okay, so he’s still up.

And his texts throughout the night were his usual, sweet and caring and light -

But what if you were misreading them?

What if he’s actually upset with you for being so late?

What if he’s playing it off like it’s fine but he’s actually pissed, frustrated that you strung him along all day, that you prioritized work over him, that you had the audacity to show up at this hour and expect him to drop everything to entertain you.

Your stomach turns, rolls, slow and sickly, emotion hot in the back of your throat.

I should just go home, there’s no point in bothering him at this -

A sudden burst of light startles you out of your spiral.

Your phone, in the cupholder, screen bright with a new text notification.

Marcus

Can’t wait to see you, beautiful

Tension bleeds from your shoulders, stomach righting itself with a little flip of anticipation.

Trust.

You trust Marcus. He’s never given you any reason to do otherwise.

And if he says he wants you to come over, despite it being so late, then he means it.

But -

No, this is too much, you can’t just sit here and think anymore -

The need to move shoves you into action, and you throw open the door and get out of the car, grabbing your bag from the backseat.

You’re only three steps to the front door when it swings open, light bathing the walkway.

Marcus meets you before you even reach the door, dimpled smile glowing in the dim light. “Hey. Heard the car pull in.”

Your own smile is an inherent reaction, heartbeat skipping just a bit as he leans in to press a soft kiss to your lips, one hand slipping around your waist to smooth over the small of your back.

The exhaustion in your muscles leaches out, body swaying toward his, and he pulls back enough to look at you, concern in his warm brown gaze. “Let’s get you inside, okay?”

He’s already taking your bag, long fingers slipping through yours, hand on your back gently guiding you to the door and that unknown weight in the pit of your stomach shifts, edges sharp, bringing tears to your eyes.

What is it? Why does it hurt so much?

It’s a little unsettling, not knowing what you’re feeling, especially when it’s something so strong.

What’s wrong with you that you can’t even identify this emotion that feels like it’s boring a hole straight through you?

You’re moving automatically, only vaguely aware of the door shutting behind you, the pleasant smile pasted on your face. Going through the motions, taking off your shoes, jacket, straightening your clothes.

Suddenly, large hands cup your face and a jolt runs through you, so startling it pushes a gasp from your lungs.

Brown eyes fill your vision, blurred by the threat of tears.

Soft words seep through the buzzing in your head - when had that started?

“Are you okay?”

Shit -

You haven’t said anything, haven’t spoken to him since you pulled in. Frustration skips along your pulse. Get it together.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.” The practiced phrase comes out as usual, light and dismissive.

Marcus steps closer, thumbs tracing your cheekbones. “Look at me.”

Oh -

It’s just a hint, a whisper of the command his voice can carry - that command that guided you to heights of pleasure you’d never experienced before him. It’s enough to snap through the buzz in your head.

Your vision clears and finally you can really see him. Really look at him.

He’s watching you, intent, frown forming between his brows. There’s only a pause, his expression unreadable - is he angry - no stop it shut up - then he’s sliding an arm around your shoulders and turning you toward the living room.

“Come on, come sit down.”

Relief washes cool down your back.

Yes, good, let him guide you.

A quiet reassurance coats your thoughts, muffling the noise.

Trust him.

He sits you down on the plush sofa, tucked into the corner, and settles in closely next to you. His hands never leave you, drifting down your arms to clasp yours gently, hold them in your lap. Your joined hands rest on your thighs, a counterweight to the one in your stomach.

Grounding. Centring.

Marcus.

He squeezes lightly, draws your gaze to his. “Are you comfortable talking to me right now?”

Embarrassment flushes hot on your skin - it’s so unnerving, how he can see everything about you - but you force yourself not to look away, to keep your gaze on his. Trust. “A lot happened today. Just. A lot.”

Fuck, that’s not very helpful, he asked you a question and you give him this vague -

“That’s okay.”

The buzz flickers, the soft tone of his words scattering.

“What?” You can hear the confusion in your own voice.

A dozen emotions flash across his expression, but the warmth in his eyes doesn’t change, persistent. “It’s okay that today was a lot. You can talk about it, all of it or parts of it, if you want. Or if you’d rather not, that’s fine, too.”

You glance away, unable to look at him, his ceaseless compassion too much to handle right now.

He lifts your clasped hands to his lips, brushes a kiss over your knuckles, that intent gaze still locked on yours. “I can reheat supper, if you’re hungry. Draw you a bath if you want to unwind. Take you to bed and hold you if you’re too tired for any of that. And during, after or in-between any of that, I’ll listen to whatever you want to tell me about today.”

The weight in your stomach shifts again, presses up against your ribcage and it hurts to breathe but you manage to nod in acknowledgment.

His gaze tracks the shakiness of the movement, crease between his brows deepening, voice firm. “And if you don’t want to talk tonight, that’s fine. But it’s not healthy to keep things bottled up. Whatever happened, it seems like it’s really affecting you. So you will have to talk about it at some point, either with me or someone else. When you’re ready.”

You nod again - try to, but the movement is too awkward, it feels strange. As if it’s not you making it, it’s not your body, not your hands in his and not your lungs straining for air and not -

Suddenly you can’t see, everything is blurry, everything is gone nothing is real why -

Strong arms pull you against a broad chest and you crumple, limbs folding into yourself, weight in your stomach dragging you down down down -

Desperate, you grasp at the warmth that breaks your fall, hands clutching at fabric over solid strength, thoughts latching onto murmured words against your hair.

Your subconscious instinctively threading into the profound presence that surrounds you, holding fast.

It’s a lifeline. A linchpin that centres your focus, pulls you back into awareness.

Marcus is tucking you firmer into the crook of his arm, shifting your legs across his lap until you’re fully seated there. One large hand cups your head, holds your temple to his lips, while the other passes gentle strokes to your arm, your back, your thigh.

He’s talking, soft and muffled words but clear enough, a steady stream that brushes over your skin.

“Breathe for me, baby, it’s okay, you’re okay, let it out. I’m here.”

I’m here.

Marcus is always here. For you.

Trust.

The weight in your stomach bursts and everything pours out of you in tear-soaked words.

“I’m so sorry I’m so late, I’m sorry I disappointed you and I didn’t want to ever do that because you’re so amazing Marcus and it’s not fair for me to treat you like this - “ your voice hiccups and you have to push through it - “I should have cancelled tonight, I knew I was going to be late, but I was selfish and still wanted to see you and I made you wait around for me and that was wrong and I’m so so sorry -“

“Stop.”

His voice is quiet but firm, enough to silence the mess of thoughts pouring from your lips.

You wait, heart pounding, lungs tight, muscles tensed and ready for his judgement.

No, not judgement - this is Marcus, he cares about you, he’s here for you.

But it’s all still there, the buzzing in your head and the weight pulling you down and it’s too much, too confusing and conflicting and you can’t handle everything.

A whimper squeezes past your throat before you can stop it. Your eyes are closed so tight against it all that you see stars.

He gently eases you away, his arm supporting your back where it bands across your shoulders. “Open your eyes, baby. Please.”

Trust.

It takes everything you have to do so, blinking as his face comes into focus.

The concern that worried his brow is gone. Those warm, brown eyes are steady, but more serious than you’ve ever seen them.

He takes a deep breath, chest shifting where you’re pressed to him. “I’m sorry for interrupting, but you were hurting yourself and I couldn’t let that continue.”

“H-hurting myself?” Your voice catches on the well of confusion squeezing your throat.

A barely-there nod as his thumb swipes through the tear tracks on your cheek. “Listening to those negative thoughts. Letting them speak for you.”

You stare at him. Mind blank. Buzzing thoughts silent.

He cups your cheek, his broad palm soothing on your too-hot skin. “You have your own voice. No one, not even yourself, can take that away. It will always be there.”

There’s no epiphany or flash of understanding. Just a gentle swell, rising and pulling you in, the understanding of his words. They just seep into the fibre of your being and you know.

You know they’re true.

You understand what he’s saying. Those buzzing thoughts, sharp and intrusive, weaselling their way to the forefront until you couldn’t hear anything else.

That heavy weight in the pit of your stomach. A blend of guilt and shame and frustration.

At yourself.

For being weak, for being unable to stop the anxious turmoil from bleeding into this part of your life, your relationship with Marcus, the part that you wanted so badly to be clean of it.

Then there’s disappointment at your inability to control it.

No. Not just disappointment.

Anger.

Because despite trying, so hard, telling yourself that Marcus was good and right and you can trust him - it did nothing.

Those negative thoughts still won out and tainted your perception.

Then there’s despair. Cold and creeping into your bones.

You’re failing yourself.

So many times, you’ve been silent when you wanted to speak, or to shout or laugh or scream or sing.

You’d let others keep you quiet for so long, that even when they were no longer in your life, the habit apparently remained.

A habit you thought you’d already broken after countless therapy sessions, only for it to overtake and control you once again.

Well. At least now you know it’s not right, not fair to you.

Now you know you deserve to be happy.

It had taken a long time, but you’d come to acknowledge and accept that as a fact.

But that didn’t stop you from trying to self-sabotage, apparently.

No, stop. That’s the negative voice again.

Telling you you’re not enough.

That you’ll always fail.

Trust trust trust

Those words beat steadily within your own pulse.

Closing your eyes - not to shut things out, this time, but to let yourself look inward - you lean into the weight of his palm, breathe deep, and trust.

“I think that…” Your words are soft, cracked with hesitation as they come to you slowly. “I know that I do, have my own voice. I know those thoughts will only hurt me, and I have the ability to ignore them. But sometimes it…”

You look at Marcus then, some part of you needing to see him. “Sometimes it’s hard to remember that, to hear the difference between the good thoughts and the bad ones. Especially on days when everything else is so loud.”

He’s watching you, expression so soft it pricks tears in the corners of your eyes. There’s no pity, or uncertainty, or doubt, in his face. Just an overwhelming tender emotion, a comprehension that can only come from hearing that same buzzing noise blurring the good and bad.

One of your hands untangles from where your fingers are curled into his shirt, rises to rest over his on your cheek.

Of course he understands. A toxic marriage, a broken engagement, so many other wounds that cut deep and left scars.

Marcus has fought to break habits, too.

He leans in, kisses you softly, your lips then your forehead. “Will you…” he pulls back to look at you, tongue dipping against his lower lip. “Will you let me help you? With the noise?”

Your heart beats steadily.

You know what he means.

The memory of sinking deep into that haze of pleasure, letting go of your ceaseless thoughts. Allowing him to take control of the noise and silence it.

Giving yourself over to him, wholly and completely.

Trust trust trust

There’s no hesitation in your thoughts, in your voice.

“Yes.”

*****

Next: Part Two

Previous: I’m Here

#the mentalist fanfiction #marcus pike fanfiction #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x female reader #marcus pike x f!reader #marcus pike x you #reader insert #no y/n

76 notes · View notes

the1975attheirverybest · 4 months

Text

Being Funny In A Foreign language

Chapter 7- Wintering

A/N: lots of sex. lots of dialogue. lots of feels. just everything is a lot. pretty paranoid about this one so lmk what you think!

warnings: kinky smut, depiction and discussion of mental illness.

***

Amelia couldn’t help but smile, walking backstage, as remnants of the boys’ spirited conversation reached her ears. Their voices filled the dressing room with laughter and idle chatter, like school kids back from winter break, getting caught up on all the latest from their friends.

“Could I see that picture, again?” Matty giggled, his lilting laugh, distinct to anyone who knew him, was a sound that Amelia hadn’t heard in a good while. “I’m sending it to myself. For blackmail purposes.”

“Don’t you fuckin dare, Matty!” George jumped across the room in a futile attempt to retrieve the phone out of his hand.

They both paused and redirected their attention as Amelia and Joshua walk into the room. A loud and incoherent greeting erupted from all four boys, gathering around the couple.

Adam left the room to request that two extra chairs be brought in. Ross gave Amelia’s cheek a quick kiss, whispering a “welcome back, mate. Missed ya,” before turning his attention to Joshua. George, on the other hand, immediately dug into the airport candy, sampling a few out of each packet that they’d brought back for him. Matty and Amelia’s eyes met across the room, and before he could think, he rushed towards her wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug.

“You’re back.” He whispered, his face buried into her neck. He was sure he felt lightheaded as soon as he caught a whiff of her perfume. Amelia wondered if she’d detected something more than a casual greeting in his words, or perhaps it was just that his voice was muffled when he spoke?

“How’ve you been, Matty?” she gave into the moment, rubbing his back gently. Matty felt his legs almost give out, wishing he could melt into her.

“Miss you.” Was his feeble response to her question.

once he'd finally mustered the courage to pull away, Matty saw that Joshua had been watching them with a puzzled look on his face. He quickly corrected, backing away from Amelia and giving Joshua a warm smile. “Hey, man! How’s California?”

Joshua’s mind recalled what had seemed, at the time, no more than a slightly odd detail from their trip to the exhibit.

As Amelia and Joshua were getting ready to leave the event, a short and balding man had approached them. Joshua did not consider himself a fashion expert by any means, but even he could tell that this man’s suit costs more than the average Californian’s rent; his pinky ring, alone, was probably worth thousands.

“Mr. Fontana,” Amelia had said, sounding more surprised than courteous.

“Call me Marcus, please.” the man extended his hand out, shaking hers. “I just had to come over here and meet the woman who made Matty Healy give up his beloved Fender Mustang.”

Amelia’s hand went limp in Fontana’s grip. “Beg your pardon?”

“I’m just sayin,’ sweetheart, if you can get that man to do that for you, you might as well marry him.”

Befuddled, Amelia stared blankly at the man’s face, until he’d let go of her hand and turned to Joshua.

“and you are?”

She shook off her confusion, putting on a deliberate smile, “Oh, please, forgive me. Mr. Font- Marcus, this is my boyfriend, Joshua. Joshua, please meet Marcus Fontana.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Sir, thank you for having us.” Joshua had taken the man’s extended hand.

“Boyfriend? Really?” Fontana asked, sizing him up. After a brief pause, recognition flashed across his eyes, “Oh, I see…” His eyebrow raised.

Amelia dropped the smile on her face, instantly.

“well, good luck, kid.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, walking away. “It was a pleasure to meet you.”

That interaction had lingered in Joshua’s mind on their way back to the hotel, so, as they were getting ready for bed, Joshua asked Amelia if she and Matty had ever dated.

“Have we ever dated?” Amelia echoed the question. “No,” she turned her back towards him to brush her hair in front of the mirror. “I mean…there was a moment where we almost did, but no. We’ve never dated.”

“Almost? What changed?”

Amelia smiled, setting her brush down. “I mean, I don’t know if you can tell, but, Matty’s a bit of a whore.” She laughed. “…I say that affectionately, of course.”

“Oh? a handsome rich rockstar likes the company of beautiful women? How shocking.”

She giggled. “exactly.”

“California was great, man! Thanks to you.” Joshua smiled. “You sure we didn’t, like, put you out or anything? Getting us into the exhibit, I mean…”

“Not at all, bro. Glad you had a good time.”

***

Matty rushed to take refuge in the dimly lit corner of the roof party, glad to finally be alone for the first time since this morning. He struggled to sit still in his seat; leg bouncing; hands fidgeting with his sweater; crossing his legs only to uncross them again a few seconds later. He stood up, eventually, pacing back and forth by his empty seat.

“Perfect show as always,” Amelia smiled as she approached him.

He looked up, beaming instinctually, “thanks, bro.”

She loved when he called her that.

She sat in the chair that he’d abandoned, and he hovered by her side, his feet kicking a tiny pebble on the floor.

They sat there, quietly, for a long while, watching the after party happen around them. Ross and John had roped Joshua into one of their made up, chess-adjacent games with complicated rules and elaborate levels. He was, earnestly, giving it his best shot. Polly and Gabi hung out by the pool, dipping their feet into the water and drinking, while George and Hann, on the opposite side of the water, looked engrossed in a conversation. Amelia tore her eyes off the vibrant scene, glancing up at Matty. He rubbed his temples repeatedly, keeping his head down, as he swayed in place. She could tell he was deeply uncomfortable though she wasn’t exactly sure why.

“Matty? you alright?”

He could barely hear her over the music, but she mouthed her question again when he glanced at her. He nodded, hesitantly walking closer towards her.

“Hey, you look a bit…I don’t know? Pale?” Her brows furrowed as she studied his face closely.

“Fine….just a bit, erm, dizzy, I think?”

Amelia jumped to her feet. “Come, sit down!”

“N-no, it’s alright. Stay….I’ll just…” he sat on the arm of the chair. “That alright?” His arm wrapped around the back, leaning over her.

“Yeah, yeah.” She gave him a soft smile, but it was really just an excuse for her to look into his eyes and watch him closer.

“I’m fine, Amelia.” He chuckled, catching on.

Her eyes shot towards his still bouncing leg. “Mhm.” She nodded knowingly.

They fell silent again. Amelia wondered to herself what he was thinking about and how he was feeling. Though he was sitting right next to her, he felt miles away.

“Are you mad at me?” Matty asked unexpectedly.

“What? No! Why would I be?”

He winced when the song in the background had reached a crescendo. He wanted to say because you didn’t text or call while you were gone. Because we haven’t spoken since you literally whipped my ass and left me there. But he figured she wouldn’t take kindly to any of that. Instead, he asked, “so, are you gonna come and see me tonight?”

“Wasn’t planning on it-“

His heart sank “Why not?”

“Last time I did, you said-“

“Please, Amelia. Please forget what I said.” His hand reached for hers, squeezing it.

“Does that mean you want me to come see you tonight?”

He nodded, embarrassed, but desperate enough to confess, “just….need you to hold me.”

Her eyes shot up towards him, confused by his markedly changed tone. For as long as she’s know him, Matty has never said anything like that to her.

“C’mon then,” she squeezed his hand back, pulling him to his feet. “let’s go upstairs.”

“What about the party?”

She glanced over at Joshua, who seemed occupied with his friends, “Parties are overrated.”

***

In the elevator, Amelia finally asked, “Matty, you don’t look well. What’s going on?”

His eyes squeezed shut to avoid the harsh overhead light. “Everything’s a bit….too much.”

She wasn’t quite sure what he meant but she nodded anyway.

“Too much sound. And light. And too many people. Everything’s loud.”

Still slightly unsure, she wrapped her arms around his waist, briefly, in an attempt to comfort him then realized that, perhaps he needed the exact opposite and immediately pulled away.

***

Matty and Amelia laid on their sides, in bed, facing each other. She took note of the fact that he blushed every time that their eyes met but she kept the information to herself, knowing that if she teased him about it, he’d squirm away. Instead, her hand played with his hair, lightly.

Matty felt his mind slow down, his body relaxed. In the ambient atmosphere of the hotel room, there was finally less noise, less light. A single person, a singular, sweet, touch to focus on. Away from the cheering crowds and the spotlights following him around onstage, he could finally begin to process his day.

“So, how’ve you been?” Amelia spoke, after a while, her voice barely above a whisper, hoping she could get him relaxed enough to fall asleep.

Matty shrugged silently.

“Why? What’s going on? You seemed a bit better before the show.”

Matty nodded. “I was. At least I think I was.

He took a deep breath, “ I’m trying, I promise.”

“I know you are, Matty.” Her hand left his hair, moving to caress his face instead. “How’d you do while I was gone?”

He shuffled closer and closer to her, burying his face in her chest to hide from her expectant eyes, resting his hands at her hips and hoping she’d get the hint and hug him back. She did. Her arms wrapped around him protectively, but she proceeded with her line of questioning anyway.

“ have you been getting enough sleep?”

“Doing my best, but….its hard. Sleep doesn’t come easy.”

She squeezed him tighter.

“Been napping on the tour bus though. In between cities. Better than nothing, right?”

“Right.” She rested her chin on top of his head. “What about appetite? Been eating?”

“Yes; actually! Once a day.”

“Matty!”

He giggled and she felt his breath on her skin. “I’m trying to work my way up to more. Been better about it since the boys have been back.”

That amendment reassured her. “I’m glad they’re all back. You all function better as a unit.”

She could feel him smile in agreement.

“What about exercise?”

Matty whined and squirmed in her arms, which, she took as her answer.

“No workouts at all in the past few days?”

“None.”

She sighed loudly, unsure what words to use in reprimanding him. To an extent, it wasn’t his fault. It’s his illness that sucks the life and energy out of him. But she needed to incentivize him to try.

“What about the last rule we set?”

The question hung in the air for a moment before he registered it.

“Oh, that! I’ve been good about that, I promise.” She heard him giggle softly. “Haven’t touched myself at all. Genuinely!”

“I believe you, Matty.” After a brief pause, she said, “good. That’s good.”

“If I’m being honest?” he stuttered. “it’s only partially me being good. The other part is….erm…I’m scared I won’t be able to get it up again.”

His sheepish confession made her break out into a silent chuckle, Matty felt her breathe in and out as she laughed, prompting him to blush, in return.

“Appreciate the honesty.” She giggled. “Guess we have one thing to reward you for, and quite a few to punish you for, huh?”

He nodded, feeling guilty for letting her down.

He intertwined his legs with hers, getting restless. She felt him shuffle and squirm. He wanted to be even closer to her. Even though he knew it was impossible. He was literally burying himself in her.

“Everything alright?” She looked down at him tossing around in her embrace.

“Want you.” He whimpered, meek and small.

“Hey, I’m right here….literally right here.” It didn’t seem to persuade him. “Matty, are you okay?”

He exhaled, loudly, “sorry, sorry- uhhh, I’m fine.” He went still.

“You don’t need to be sorry, honey…”

His stomach fluttered at the term of endearment, instantly wondering how seriously she meant it.

“Where should we start?” She asked with a mischievous smile. “How bout this? You get to pick your punishment and your reward, and I’ll decide which one we do first.”

Matty’s heart raced in his chest; he thought for a moment, then, “for a reward- I-“ the words felt heavy on his lips. “Could you maybe stay the night?”

“What?”

“Doesn’t have to be tonight.” He added, quickly, to reassure her. “You can decide when works for you. But….I’d like it if you- maybe didn’t leave afterwards. We don’t have to do anything, either.” He glanced at her, briefly, and saw that she seemed confused. “ Like I’m not asking for more sex. We could just hang out. Get dinner. Or just chill, really.”

“Matty- gosh, I-“

“Is it too much? Would you rather not?” his mind, and mouth, panicked. “It’s fine. Knew it was a big ask. Forget- forget this reward” he moved his hand dismissively, as if to wave it off. “I have another idea.”

Amelia stared at him blankly, speechless. He took her silence as a sign to proceed.

“Fuck, this one’s pathetic…. but I suppose I’ve already embarrassed myself…” he giggled, darting his eyes away.

“What is it? Go on. Tell me.”

“For a reward, would it be okay if…. Like, if you tell me the good things that you like?”

“Pardon?”

“Like- if I do something that you like- can you maybe say so?”

Amelia repeated his words in her head a few times, attempting to decipher them. “You want me to say that I like something? I’m sorry, Matty, I don’t follow.”

“I’m trying to ask for praise, okay?!” He blurted out, immediately grabbing a pillow and burying his face into it, screaming “fuckkkkk.” He huffed into the fabric. “told you it was pathetic.”

Amelia laughed, heartily. She thought it was the sweetest thing she’d ever heard. “C’mon! Don’t be embarrassed!! It’s really- umm…cute!”

“Oh fuck off!”

“Matty, c’mon. Look at me. Sit up. Eyes on me.”

Despite some resistance, Matty eventually mustered the courage to dig himself out of the pillow and look at her, his face burning red.

“it’s just….it seems- well, okay- Are you saying you didn’t feel…acknowledged or assured enough last time?”

He shook his head, timidly.

“Okay, okay….good to know. That other stuff you said about wanting me to stay afterwards…”

“You can’t, can you?”

“Well, what I’m hearing is that last time wasn’t a good experience for you. I think we should talk about that.” Amelia’s tone shifted, becoming increasingly more serious.

“Why?? Was it not good for you? Did you not have fun?”

“Matty,” she placed her hand on his arm, squeezing it gently. “I had fun. More fun than I expected. But right now we’re talking about you.”

“Had fun too.”

“But?”

“But, erm, I- after you left, I felt…” he sighed, “like I wasn’t good enough. Like I could’ve done more.”

“Done more what? Matty, all you had to do is lie there and take it..”

He shrugged. “It’s just a feeling I had. Like….like I could’ve taken more, or- or I could’ve squirmed less, or, could’ve gotten you off, or-“

“We should’ve talked about it before I left.” Realization dawning on her. “You always made us talk about it afterwards.” Amelia got off the bed, beginning to pace back and forth. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you say anything?”

Matty’s head dropped lower, his gaze focusing on the duvet. “I’m sorry. I should have. I’m sorry…”

“No, no. I’m not blaming you!” She threw her hands up in frustration. “I guess- I had assumed- since you were always telling me how important it is to communicate or use the safe word or whatever….that you knew that. That I didn’t have to tell you.”

“I- I just didn’t want to be needy.” His own words made him uncomfortable.

Amelia’s face contorted, pained by the words he spoke. She lunged back on to the bed, grabbing his face urgently. “Don’t say that. You’re not being needy. You hear me? Please, I need you to understand that. Okay?”

A small hum left his lips and she let go of him, sitting back with her legs folded under her. “I’m not very good at this whole….taking charge thing, am I? You always made it look so effortless.”

A smile crept on to his face, “It’s true I do have a tendency to do hard things with easy swagger.” Matty said with seriousness.

She burst into a chuckle. He was finally sounding like himself for a change. She slapped his chest, playful. “Narcissist.”

“You said it; not me!”

“Can I kiss you?”

“I’d love that.”

She closed the gap between them, leaning in, and holding on to him. Their lips locked, teeth crashing, rendering them a giggling mess, but they kept going anyway. His arms squeezed around her waist. Hers let go of him and found the hems of his sweater, slowly slipping it off of him.

His chest was hot to her touch. she could feel his heartbeat. She unbuckled his belt slowly, glancing at him to check in.

“Amelia?” His voice was barely audible.

“Yeah?”

“This is….erm….a touch humiliating, but I- well, I haven’t…I haven’t showered.”

“Oh.” Her hands paused their fiddling. “Like…after the show?” She knew his routine enough to know that this was odd.

“Yeah.” He looked away as he spoke, “…or….before actually. Like….not in a couple of days.”

She nodded as he spoke, to indicate that she was listening. “That’s…that’s okay. It’s fine with me if it’s fine with you?”

“Yeah….fine with me I just…wanted to…” he let his sentence trail off.

Amelia kissed his cheek. “I get it. No worries.” Giggling at his embarrassment. “You’re so cute, you know?”

***

Matty felt a strange wave of anxiety crash over him the further that Amelia got from him. She’d settled between his legs, her hand wrapped around his half-hardened cock, yet his head was too full to enjoy any of it. All he could think about was how much warmer and safer he felt with her body around his, now that he had to lay his head on the bed, instead, everything felt overwhelming again. He propped himself up in an attempt to see her. A shooting pain rushed up his neck. he screamed out “HOLY FUCK!! Owww!”

Amelia panicked. “Oh my god, what? What’s happened?!! Did I…was I not supposed to-“

“N-no- ouch! It’s fine- you’re fine.” Matty hissed, grabbing the back of his neck. “It’s me….my fuckin neck. Cramp. I don’t know.”

She crawled up the bed quickly, sitting back next to him. “Lift up, let me see.”

Amelia tested the waters, touching his neck lightly and checking for any discomfort. “Looks fine. No swelling or anything. Mind if I touch it harder?”

“Go for it.” Matty said with a scrunched face, bracing himself.

He gasped when Amelia’s delicate touch turned into kneading, attempting to give him a massage.

“Does that hurt?”

“not really. I think it’s helping.” He smiled through the mild discomfort, relaxing into her touch as he got used to it. “Think it’s the guitar strap.” He eventually decided. “Had it on a weird spot between my neck and shoulder earlier and….it felt a bit off.”

“Oh, Matty….those things are heavy! You’ve got to be more careful.”

“Excuse me, I’m very strong, you know.” He curled his biceps to prove it.

“Quit fuckin moving” she laughed. “You’re not. You’re just a baby.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’ve been doing this a long time now. Even long before the muscles too! I know how to carry a guitar! Just….didnt want to stop mid-song to adjust it.”

“Whatever you say, tiny baby.” The smile palpable in her voice.

***

“You wanna try this again?” Amelia asked, from between his legs, kissing up his body, from his stomach to his chest.

Matty nodded, eagerly. He watched her retrieve the lube bottle, squirting some on her hand, and on his body, before delicately wrapping her hands around his length. He blushed watching her handle him and whispered “cold” when the lubricant touched his skin.

Amelia flicked her wrist, stroking him the way that he’d taught her to, but Matty was acutely aware of the fact that he was nowhere near as hard as he should be. His mind drowning in doubt and concern, the more he tried to focus, the more difficult it became. His worries were now turning into frustrations, his hips thrusting into her hand in a desperate attempt to feel something.

“Fucks sakes!” He groaned. “I’m sorry.”

Slowly, Amelia let go of him, and shifted to sit by his side. She gave his cheek a quick kiss. “Nothing to be sorry about.”

Matty was grateful for her calm response, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty.

She began to re-dress him, sliding his boxers back over his hips. “Gosh, Matty….” She gasped, “Is.. that from…the- belt?” She’d noticed the welts, now turned blue and purple streaks, all over his ass.

“mhm.”

“fuck,” she whispered, running her fingers over the belt marks. “I did that?”

Matty wasn’t sure if her question needed an answer, or if it was rhetorical.

“Did I over-do it? Did I hurt you?”

“No. I like it.” Matty smiled.

“the pain?”

“the pain, you marking me up, the sting ever time that I sit down or move, that reminds me of you…all of it.”

Amelia let go of her breath, relieved to hear that Matty felt good about it. “Can I- see? Could you…turn on your stomach?”

“you…want me to flip over, so you could see my bruised ass?”

She batted her lashes at him, flashing him a smile that he could never say no to.

“fuck, I mean, this night couldn’t possibly get more humiliating, why not.” He rolled on his stomach, feeling vulnerable again.

Amelia examined her handiwork, closely, squeezing Matty’s skin and watching him jolt. Then, feeling slightly guilty about her new-found morbid fascination with inflicting pain on him, she kissed all the areas where she could see that she’d split the skin and drawn blood. Matty’s body shuddered, his skin prickling with goosebumps. He moaned into the pillow, feeling exposed. His body was betraying all his secrets, she could see and hear exactly how he felt.

“You gotta see a doctor though, okay?” She finally pulled his clothes all the way back on him. “for your dick, I mean.”

He resigned to his fate, nodding defeatedly.

“It’s gonna be okay.”

Matty clicked his tongue, “what if it’s not though? What if I’m old and decrepit now?”

She grinned, “you’re not. You’re a stallion.”

He chuckled. “A what now?”

“Like a horse.”

“I know what a stallion is. Just….not very stallion like of me.” He gestured towards his groin.

“Happens to the most virile of horses…I’ll help you make the appointment. Who do you boys see while on tour? Can you make appointments online?”

“Yeah” Matty nodded. “Yeah, I’ll show you.”

***

“While we’re at it.” Amelia clicked the “+” sign to open a new tab in the browser. “I was thinking we could….buy some stuff.”

Matty frowned. “What do you need to buy?”

It quickly dawned on him what she had in mind once the search results showed a wide variety of sex toys.

“Oh…Christ! Are you sure about that?”

“Okay, so,” Amelia started as her hands ran through his hair. “I think we need to make more of an effort to talk things through.”

Matty looked up at her, his head resting on her chest. “Mhm.”

“In the spirit of that….what about punishments? What’re your limits and stuff.”

“Don’t think I’ve got any.” Matty shrugged.

dissatisfied with his response, Amelia began to list off some of the options that she saw on the screen. “You’ve got paddles, chains, rope, spreader bars, cuffs, cock rings, wax, knives, electric pads-“

“Amelia.” Matty looked her directly in the eyes, “these all sound fine to me. Buy whatever you want.”

She sighed. “But what about what you want?”

“I- I want anything that you want. I’ll try anything that you want to try. You can do anything that you want to do to my body.”

Amelia’s heart raced, transfixed by his eyes, she couldn’t bring herself to look away. She didn’t know how to respond to that. Her mouth felt dry, her words a broken stutter.

“Here.” Matty reached into his pants pocket, producing his wallet. “Use this.”

“Wha-what?” Still thrown off, Amelia needed a moment to come back to her senses

“Take my card. Any of the credit cards in here. If you buy anything.”

“Oh.”

***

“Are you gonna leave me?” Matty asked as he watched Amelia get dressed.

“Nope. Mind if I stay over tonight?”

His whole face lit up.

“We could….run you a bath. Or, I don’t know, watch a film? Only if I get to choose what we watch though!!”

“Amelia, I’m depressed — and possibly impotent— not paralyzed. I can run my own bath.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I’m gonna pop by my room. Get the bag of weed I brought you from LA. Order us some room service, would you?”

***

The air on the balcony was chilly, but the hotel had provided a space heater that allowed Amelia and Matty to enjoy the outdoors late at night. She sat opposite him, her feet crossed on the outdoor couch, wondering to herself why he’d been so quiet.

“Do you know about the Melrose Place activism thing?” Matty spoke, out of the blue, slouching in his chair and waving his blunt around.

“The what?”

A smile stretched across his face before he’d even spoken, clearly amused by the store that he was about to tell. “So, you know the 90s tv show Melrose Place?”

“Vaguely…”

He nodded, taking a puff of his joint, and hummed, too impatient to move the blunt away before speaking. “Right, so, there was this- university professor, I think….he had this idea for an art exhibit that would be, sort of, showcased on tv. This was in the 90s, mind you, so before streaming and all that…”

Amelia nodded along.

“So, I guess he was watching Melrose Place with his wife or something, and he decided to do it on that show. Like…like display shit in the background as part of the set.”

“Oh, that’s interesting…”

“Isn’t it? Anyway, so, him and his students decide that it would be funny if they did it in secret, right? So, without permission from the network or the producers or anything…” Matty’s grin grew larger as he spoke, his droopy eyes sparkling like the starry sky above. “they found the set decorator, and I guess cuz they decided to put in protest art, she was into it. She like considered herself very leftist, or whatever.” He laughed, bringing the joint to his lips again.

“that’s wild!”

“mhm…so, like, every episode, they would put protest art in the most plain and innocent places. Like, erm….” Matty’s brows crossed as he attempted to recall some examples. “bedsheets with unrolled condoms as a print pattern. Used as the sheets on the bed in a scene where the romantic couple are sleeping together. A pillow with the structure of the AIDs virus embroidered on it. Chinese food containers with human rights symbols….shit like that.”

“What? That’s insane!”

Matty fixed his posture, leaning forward as his story picked up, “It gets even better. So, they took it a bit too far one week. They featured a painting of the Oklahoma City bombing, or some shit…the producer noticed. But when the set decorator confessed to him, this guy- fuckin goated!- he was really into the idea. So, he let the professor and his students have more access to the show. Can you believe that? Gave them scripts so they could choose art that was relevant to the episode, let them come to set…all of it!!”

“no fuckin way!”

“I know!” Matty chuckled, his smoker lungs giving out, he launched into a coughing fit.

“Anyway,” he cleared his throat.

“Is that what you think about when you get stoned? Protest art in 90s soap operas?”

“well-" he rolled his eyes, "I just think the juxtaposition between, like, a completely apolitical, harmless little tv show, and the protest art in the background as the characters do mundane things is a cool idea.”

“it is.” Amelia affirmed, calmly, amused by his thought process.

A comfortable silence settled between them. Amelia found herself compelled to admire Matty as he smoked in his seat, looking up at the sky every once in a while. She had no idea she’d been smiling until Matty pointed it out.

“What’re you smilin’ at?” Matty asked, his lips involuntarily mirroring her smile. “What? Why are you lookin’ at me like that?”

Amelia shook her head, giggling. “I was just thinking about how pretty you look in the moonlight. It’s too bad we’re not fucking.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I mean….your arms and your tattoos...that hair? You’re looking very…umm,” she bit her lip, smiling coyly.

“What? ‘very’ what?” Matty leaned closer, on the edge of his seat.

“Very fuckable.”

His mouth fell open as he took her words in. “Christ!” He mumbled under his breath, then, with a noticeable shift in demeanor, “well, just cuz I’m out of commission, doesn’t mean we can’t still have fun.” He winked playfully. “I could still get you off without my dick, you know.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I’ve got a mouth, fingers, two thighs if that’s what you’re into….”

“You’d- you’d be okay with that?”

“Okay with what? You using me and my body for your own pleasure? Focusing on making you feel good and giving you what you want without regard for myself or what I might need? It would be my fucking pleasure. Literally and figuratively.”

****

Amelia’s body shook, her thighs clamping around Matty’s head as he licked into her.

“Oh, fuck! Matty, don’t stop!! Ye- yeah, right there…” her hands reflexively reached for his hair, tugging on it harshly as her pleasure spiked.

Matty whined in pain when she accidentally pulled at his hair a bit too harshly, his breath against her clit only spurring her on even harder. She held his face against her core, pulling at his hair whenever he tried to back away for a breather, before long, she was riding his face. Though the natural instincts of his body fought it at first, he eventually gave in, letting her move him however she wanted.

“Oh- matty- I’m close.” She moaned. “I’m gonna…cum. Should I- on your face? That okay?”

Matty tried to nod, but the grip she had on his hair sent a shock of pain through his body. “Uh-huh” he sounded, his voice vibrating against her center and pushing her over the edge. He felt weak and short of breath, but he tried to work her through her orgasm, lapping up at her cunt as it dripped over his face. Her hand loosened its hold on him, her thigh relaxing around his head, she let go as she came down from her high, giving him a chance to breathe.

“That- was…. amazing.” She panted, looking up at the ceiling with a smile on her face.

Matty crawled up the bed to be by her side, kissing her cheek sweetly.

“Oh, wow, look at you.” She chuckled at his disheveled hair and puffy, pink lips. “I think you’re starting to get somewhere?” She pointed at the bulge that had formed in his underwear. Matty blushed, casting his eyes downwards.

“You literally get off on making other people feel good?”

Was it that? Or was it the pain? Perhaps it was both, or simply the fact that it was her. He didn’t really know.

“Mhm.”

“That’s kinda sweet, actually.” Her heart melted at his embarrassed expression. “I could go for round two, if…?”

He nodded, rushing to undress, but stopping himself moments later. “Sorry- I- May I?”

She kissed him, whispering, “good boy,” in his ear. “Yes, you may. Get yourself nice and ready for me, yeah?”

Once ready and lubed up, Matty’s hands fidgeted nervously, wanting to initiate but feeling uncertain. “Umm…where- how do you want me?”

“I wanna be on top.” She smiled, patting the space next to her for him to sit in.

Matty moaned as she sunk down on him taking him a bit at a time, until she went all the way.

“Oh- fuck…Amelia, you- feel so good.” his head thrown vackwards to rest against the bed frame.

“Yeah?” Her hands rested around the base of his neck. Not quite squeezing, just adding some weight, a gentle reminder that she had him by the throat. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Nearly forgot how tightly you fit me.”

“M-mi-missed you.” He whimpered, “missed this.”

“I’m gonna start moving now, you ready?”

Matty nodded, instantly jolting in shock when she began to move her hips. He wasn’t as ready as he thought he would be.

“A-Melia? Am I…allowed to - tou-touch you?”

She smiled, with her eyes closed. “Yeah.” She whispered. “You’re allowed., sweet angel.”

The words were barely out of her mouth before she felt Matty’s lips on her neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses all over her, while his hands cupped her breasts.

Matty felt her pick up speed, her movements less deliberate, more desperate, her breathing shallow, all reminding him that he knew the signs that her body often gave.

“You close?” He asked, kissing her cheek.

“Oh my god, yeah…so close…”

He leaned forward, moving away from the headboard and hugging her tightly. “I’ve got you. I’ve got it from here. You can- yeah…you can stop if you want.” He took over, thrusting upwards, his hips slamming into her.

“O-oh! Fuck! Yeah, thats it!”

He found a rhythm that seemed to get her clenching tightly around him as he repeated his motions over and over, she kept her chest pressed into his, sweat adhering their bodies to each other, her head resting on his shoulder as she moaned and called out his name.

“You’re- shit!- you’re shaking, Matty. You close? Wanna cum to-gether?”

Matty shook his head and kissed the side of her neck before thrusting again. “Nu-uh. No, this….is about you.” He panted, biting his lower lip to conceal a moan.

“Can be about both of us.”

He shook his head again, more passionately this time. “Want it to be about you.”

With a final thrust, Amelia didn’t have time to process his words or respond, she felt her orgasm hit, waves of pleasure overpowering her. Matty held her tight, letting her dig her teeth into his skin and bite his shoulder as she contracted around him, cumming all over his cock.

He smiled faintly as she trembled in his arms, feeling the aftershocks of her pleasure run through her.

“You good?” He asked softly.

She grinned, sleepily, adjusting her head on his shoulder. “So good.”

Once Matty was sure that her body had stopped shaking, he slowly peeled his skin away from hers, dipping his head low to kiss all over her.

“Mmm…that’s nice.” She sighed. “Tickles.”

She mustered enough strength to eventually roll off of him. “Oops. Made a mess all over you.” She giggled, “want me to suck you off? That’ll clean it up?”

Matty smiled. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll- uh…get us cleaned up in a second.”

“Wait! You haven’t….you know…”

“It’s okay. I don’t want to anyway.” He waved her off.

“I’m sorry, you DONT want to cum?”

“If I do….i’ll be tired after... less present…”

“It’s alright. I’ll take care of you." she offered. "unless... Do you not feel safe with me?”

“I do! Of course I do! I just wanna take care of you!!!”

“Matty-“

“No! Wait, listen, you’ve been doing so much for me lately. I wanna do this for you. Okay? Please? Just want you to know that I appreciate you and I- I want you to feel good.”

Amelia felt herself well up. She blamed her emotional state on the post-orgasm high, giggling at herself. “Matty...” She had nothing more to say.

***

Matty felt a quiet joy when he woke up to find himself in Amelia's arms the next morning. he could not believe he'd gotten this lucky. He squeezed closer to her, wanting to memorize every little detail about this moment: her scent, the peaceful look on her face as she slept, the feeling of the soft bedsheets against his skin....

an overwhelming sense of fear followed closely behind the moment of joy. He knew he wasn't entilted to feel as good as he just did. The more he wished he could have her by his side, in his bed, every morning, for the rest of his life, the more he feared that he would lose her. get used to and depend on everything being great only to fuck it up, hurt her, and lose the good thing that he leaned on. He found himself leaning into the fear when Amelia had woken up, in a hurry to get to her room, declining his breakfast invitation.

He watched her walk out on him and feared that she would never walk back in. In a panic, he reached for his phone, quickly scrolling through his DMs to find the messages that he'd once exchanged with a New York - based model.

hey

in town for msg soon

you around?

#matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy smut #matty healy angst #matty healy x oc #matty healy x y/n #matty healy x you #matty healy x reader

99 notes · View notes

strongsassysexysloane · 1 year

Text

Her soft pillow, her home.

Sum: The ending after the case, the funeral, you're Emily's home. Domestic life, comfort. Leading to very light smut.

. . . .

It hit your screen before you heard anything from Emily. Penelope really didn’t understand the needto-know process sometimes but then again you were thankful for it. Rossi was safe but they’d lost Bailey in the process. He wasn’t well liked but you knew, to the Agency, it would be a big loss and Emily would feel it more than she would let on.

You’d only met him once in passing. Emily had talked about him several times since then which was why you hung back at the funeral. She would look at you during the Eulogy for comfort and grounding but otherwise you stood back, letting those who were grieving have their time and space.

The team, family, organised to have drinks after which you declined going to. Feeling like it was time for them, for Emily to process. As much as you wanted to be there for her, you knew she needed the time. One thing you prided yourself in in relationships was being the soft one they could fall on or the rock to ground them. Emily was a hard force at work and that’s because she cared so much. She has fought for so long and lost so much that when you first started dating you knew what you were walking in to. She tried to push you away, telling you everything but that only pulled you closer.

“Are you sure?” She held you hand, needing you close to make sure this was ok with you even though you’d reassured her plenty.

You nodded and kissed her on the cheek. “Go. You haven’t had a lot of time outside the office together of late. Go. I’ll be home.”

She leaned into your kiss, placing one on your cheek for good measure. “Thank you.” Her words travelled across your cheek.

You said your goodbyes to the team and made your way home. It had been a long week for you so you didn’t do much around the house, just the bare minimum to satisfy the nagging voice in your head. The dishwasher was loaded and on, laundry in the dryer and a glass of wine in hand. Your hair damp from the shower you took, you didn’t have the energy to properly dry it.

The TV was background noise at this point as you scrolled through your phone, the dryer dinged and you ignored it. Another five minutes wouldn’t wrinkle anything anymore than it already was.

“Something must be great on that screen for you to ignore me and the dryer.” She beamed as your surprised eyes met hers in the doorway.

She startled you to say the least. “Em..” You were about to move to greet her but she quickly cosied up on the couch beside you. “How long were you standing there?”

Her face buried into your neck, placing a kiss there. “Long enough to be so thankful I’m home.” It had only been a minute of her quietly sneaking into the house to see if she could surprise you. One of her favourite things was catching you in moments of daily routine, seeing the contented look on your face and relaxation in your body. It made her feel like she was home, silly but true. Being so paranoid and on guard for so long, it was so nice to come home to just that, home. A place of sanctuary and peace.

You knew by her tone and arm wrapping around your middle that it wasn’t the place she wasreferring to, it was you. “How were drinks?”

She shrugged. “Wish it wasn’t because of a funeral but other than that. Good.”

You let that topic slide, sensing her body pull away at the topic. “Hey…”

That brought her head out of your neck, cupping her cheek which she leaned into. “Yeah?”

“You know you don’t have to be strong all the time. I’m here.” She kissed your palm in that moment.

The words fell over her and she crumbled. Tears falling, not only because her colleague died but the stress and emotions of the past month finally catching up with her. She was a force to be sure, no one doubted that, especially not you, but even a force had their moments.

You held her and let her be. Thankful that the case was behind her but knowing a far beginner one was in front. There were days you were grateful being in a low section of the FBI after hearing all the shit they must go through at the BAU. It took an incredible woman to have to push and pull her way through. Her force was like no other.

She kissed along your jaw and up to your ear. “Thank you.”

The moment drifted away, you both just sat there holding each other. The calm of the end of a big week washing over you both. The dryer dinged again, and you sighed.

“Guess I should get that. Have you eaten? There’s leftover pizza in the oven. You should eat something babe.” You felt the mood shift in the room as you looked back at her.

You went to get up but she quickly slipped her arm around your middle again, pulling you back into her chest. The day forgotten as she kissed down your exposed neck.

“I think I’ll stick to what I had originally planned on eating tonight.” She took the wine glass from your fingers and placed it on the coffee table, as she turned back around, she slid her thigh over your lap.

“You – should –“ The movements made you groan and lean forward, your hands on her hips and your face kissing down her neck to her chest, your hand coming up to move her shirt aside.

Your words forgotten.

She moaned when you sucked on her pillowy flesh, rocked her hips and hitting your core with a sigh.

“Fuck, Em!” The moan made her chuckle and capture your lips in a passionate assault.

Once she had you distracted, her fingers made their way under your shirt, pulling it up over your head. “As much as I like you on the bottom, I think we need to relocate.” She purred.

There was no point arguing with her now.

. . . .

If there was any weird gaps, I'm sorry, the transfer from word doc to here was all funny. I hope I fixed most of it.

#emilyprentiss #emily prentiss x reader

211 notes · View notes

sarnai4 · 21 days

Text

Movie Marathon

Here are some modern headcanons I have for Dagur when he's watching movies/his reactions afterwards.

Action films: He's memorizing all the best stunts so that he can try them immediately once the movie has ended. If one of these includes a fight scene, he's also planning which one of his friends he's going to have join him in this (probably Snotlout because Hiccup would die).

Comedies: He does better with dark comedies because he always laughs at the wrong spots for the regular ones. They have a sad moment and he's still thinking it's a joke, then wonders why everyone is giving him weird looks. At least with the dark comedies, he's supposed to laugh at someone dying.

Romance: Constantly says something inappropriate so that Astrid and Hiccup are embarrassed. The scene wasn't even intimate, but all his comments and winking would make you think otherwise. The only time he blushes too is when he and Mala are brought up, then he gets a bit bashful, but he also keeps kissing her during the smooching scenes.

Adventure: Will not stop asking Hiccup to go on the same adventure with him as the characters had. The puppy dog eyes don't go away until Hiccup finally agrees, then he gets a giant hug.

Film noir/mystery: Trusts no one, especially the main character. He's convinced the killer is secretly the hero and that the MC is just giving their side of the story to deliberately throw everyone off their trail. He's extra paranoid towards everybody for a minimum of 3 days. Mala's trying to let him know that their friends are not out to get him.

Drama: Finally knows when the sad moments aren't supposed to be laughed at. So, he tears up instead while hugging a pillow. Snotlout sees this as a cue that he can be watery-eyed too without being poked fun at. Now, they're both crying on the sofa because the main character just expressed how much love is had for someone else right before that second person dies.

Western and pirate: Combine action with adventure. This is why Hiccup's on a horse with a cowboy hat and why Snotlout is trying to not be forced to walk the plank.

Suspense/thriller: You thought he was paranoid before with the mystery films? He's not so much suspicious of the others as he is jumpy. This was probably the quietest he's ever been when watching something because he's waiting for that moment when everything goes wrong. The twins definitely take advantage of the jumpiness later, but they might get tackled in retaliation.

True stories: Sits by Fishlegs so that he can fact check that what the movie is saying really is true. They're whispering just about the entire time because Fishy is having as much fun talking about what he knows as Dagur is having learning about it. When the movie ends, they will proceed to geek out about the new information like it's a Gronckle until someone stops them.

Fantasy: Lots of "oohs" if there are impressive visuals. This genre gets his mind going with all the potential creativity, so he becomes disappointed if what actually happens in the story isn't as inventive as what he thought of. He also always thinks the heroes should be more ruthless than they are.

Musicals: Is making a mental note of the best songs so that he can ask Heather to sing them. He'll sing his request until she gives in. Some form of dance/movement is happening during the numbers too. If he's trying to not disturb the others, he's probably bouncing in the seat.

Science fiction: Is torn between being a skeptic and suspending his disbelief. He both scoffs at the overly unrealistic parts, then is impressed by how the characters managed to pull something off without dying. This time, Hiccup is his fact checker if the movie involves some type of engineering.

Horror: He's taking notes. Who let him watch one of these? There will be no stopping him now. He's determined to be even better than the scares he saw in the movie (according to him, they weren't scary and he thought each kill was funny). At least the next week is spent with everyone around him on edge because they don't know when there's going to be a pretend masked slasher coming for them. It's not even Halloween, but it is for them. Mala's not safe either. After Dagur puts a probably harmless snake in their bed, she makes him sleep on the sofa until he's out of his horror phase.

Every movie: Has a big container of some snack. Don't reach in without asking because he will bite off your hand not be happy. He's never on the edge seat because he wants to be able to hug people on both sides. He tries to not talk for the entire thing, but he will absolutely give the characters advice with Snotlout. Expect an in-depth discussion afterwards.

(Update) Decided to write this for whatever reason, so the first part is now on Ao3 and Fanfiction.net under "Movie Marathon" too.

#HTTYD #RTTE #Dagur the Deranged #RTTE Dagur #HTTYD Dagur #HTTYD Hiccup #RTTE Mala #HTTYD Astrid #HTTYD Snotlout #HTTYD Fishlegs #HTTYD Ruffnut #HTTYD Tuffnut #HTTYD Heather #httyd headcanons #Movies with the Deranged

9 notes · View notes

zvtara-was-never-canon · 8 months

Note

Someone compared Katara and Aang’s relationship to Zuko and Azula and said the “parallels between each character means that Kataang is incest and that Katara performs the same role in Aang’s life as Azula does in Zuko’s life” 🤣

1 - In what freaking way are these two dynamics even remotely simmilar? Katara and Aang were best friends and allies right away, and Katara literally brought him back to life. Zuko and Azula are two siblings raised in family with a serious problem of abuse, neglect and favoritism that ended turning them into enemies as they grew up, and they eventually found themselves in opposing sides of a freaking war which led to a battle in which Azula nearly fucking killed him.

2 - While Azula and Katara have some parallels, and Zuko and Aang have a TON, but that doesn't make them the same characters. Hell, plenty of those parallels are used to show how DIFFERENT their personalities and circumstances are. This fandom needs to learn what words mean and that parallels are cool, but are not all that matters in a story.

3 - Even when Azula shows affection/concern for Zuko, she does NOT act like Katara behaves towards Aang. When Azula brings Zuko home and then finds out Aang is likely alive and he never told her, she pulls some strings to make sure that if anything goes wrong, he will be blamed for it, not her. When she suspects he is visiting their uncle in prison and wants to warn him to be careful, she has to TRICK him into admiting that to her instead of asking directly because Zuko obviously doesn't trust her. When he's paranoid about not being invited to the meeting, she does tell him that it was likely just because it was obvious that the freaking prince would be allowed there - but she still taunts him about how she was invited, because the little sister instinct to get on her brother's nerves is REALLY strong with Azula 24/7. How is that in any way simmilar to Katara always being super cutesy with Aang, even in purely platonic ways?

4 - HOW would "these two siblings act the same way as two characters that obviously in love and endgame" make KATAANG look weird? If anything, that would make Azula and Zuko's dynamic worthy of lots of WTF from most viewers.

5 - As a zucest shipper, buddy, I FUCKING WISH Katara and Azula played the exact same role for Aang and Zuko respectively - not because it'd "make Kataang incest" (as I said, it clearly wouldn't) but because of the obvious "Why the fuck does Zuko's younger sister treats him the exact same way Aang is treated by his future girlfriend?" but that is very clearly not what the show was suggesting.

6 - Once again, I'm starting to think Zutara fans are WAY more obsessed with incest than I am, which is saying a lot.

#anti zutara #pro kataang #zucest

25 notes · View notes

stilemawillow · 2 months

Text

MTIJ | Ch.30 City of Dumbassery, Here I Come

|mtij masterlist|

pairing: levi ackerman x reader

word count: 13k

summary: a girl with a variety of hidden complexes has to live with a french asshole for nine months. easy? on the surface. problematic? definitely. romantic? not too much, or at least they’d make it a point to say so everytime when asked. the end? please, their dynamic isn’t as simple as that.

warnings: nsfw content; mentions of nudity; virginity loss; oral sex (f! receiving); protected sex; explicit sexual content; reader discretion advised

A hundred-dollar question: where do people go to blow off steam when their interns weren’t back back from their vacation yet? First and foremost, never City of Dumbassery as it’s not a place for relaxation. I might’ve been its main population these days, but I fancied myself a rational person capable of making the right choices when needed. Pretend you’re not looking at my romantic history. The right choice, however, wasn’t always right in the heat of the moment, only in perspective, so we begin this scene with me, seated on Erwin Smith’s couch with Hanji Zoe and a cup of coffee.

For more information on the right-est choice I made as of late, keep watching. Or as asshole-me insists on promoting: Come see the prequel to the biggest fuck-up of this girl’s life. I, though oblivious to its imminent eventuation at the point where we start, had a vague notion of what I wanted the next few days to look like. Let’s just say, humourlessly enough, that my wildest dreams came nowhere close to the reality that would take place.

“I’m sorry about last time, (Y/N). I didn’t know about you and Eren.” Hanji’s contrite apology made my smile widen as I lifted the cup of coffee to my lips. Dismissing the fact she brought the topic right back with the intention to make amends, Hanji was a good person and clearly sincere in her ways of regarding me. Kindness was one thing, but this woman’s pure cordiality was admirable.

“It’s not a problem. I could tell it wasn’t your intention to hurt me.” The corner of my mouth twitched in self-reproach at the manipulative bullshit I let slip. Instantly, I corrected: “Not that I was hurt.” If it’d been Annie, she wouldn’t straight-up laughed. Had it been Levi, he would’ve stared at me like I was dumb for thinking him dumb enough to buy it. But this was Hanji and she just smiled reassuringly.

“You can share if you want to. That’s what I’m here for with all my friends,” she offered. It sounded tempting but I couldn’t allow myself that kind of openness yet. Annie was, as always, the only person who knew the full story in all its repulsive glory but if I wanted to preserve (Levi’s privacy) my reputation, I couldn’t tell the whole thing here. The whole thing – look at me dodging the serious parts in an attempt to make myself feel better. I couldn’t tell Hanji about my intoxicated attempt to sleep with her friend, who gave dubious if any consent. Sounded appropriately disgusting like this.

“Mike and Erwin seem like they lead pretty decent lives, though.” Redirecting the topic, ignoring everything weird, dismissing all as a dirty scheme meant to humiliate me – a methodical step-by-step guide on how to be a paranoid bitch. It would’ve been my equivalent of the Bible if I weren’t an atheist. Even if I regularly used OMG, if I had to pick a fictional character to believe was real, at least I’d pick one from a book with a legit author – something by King, Thackeray, Hemingway, Tolkien, Orwell or Hawthorne. Following that train of thought, I might as well start worshipping Mickey Mouse – it’d do me more good than the big guy with the beard who loves me but would make me suffer for all eternity for stepping out of line once. I did it a lot.

“It wasn’t always like that. Not to mention Levi was stuck in the gutter a month back.” Hanji’s words snapped me out of my daze. “I know I told you to wait for him, but I don’t trust him, so make sure you keep this conversation a secret,” she warned while leaning forward as if afraid the walls would hear. The suspense, though exaggerated and a bit comical, made me put down my coffee. “So, you know how Petra is mentioned here and there?” I nodded. “She was Levi’s fiancé. She died in a car crash last October.” I knew I should’ve reacted appropriately but I couldn’t force it quickly enough. Hanji noticed. “You don’t look shocked.”

“No, but I am surprised. A lot of things make sense now. I’m sorry for your loss.” I hastened to make a recovery to lessen the doubt along the planes of her face. A pang tugged on my heart. When I considered the alternate reality where Petra hadn’t died, the notion of Levi not arriving for his internship was incomprehensible. He’d be studying hard at home and married. No rings, no chaos, no cheating for me – yes, good, but no company around the house either, no distraction and no comfort.

“You haven’t done anything to apologise for it,” Hanji said. “Anyways. Shorty was in a really bad place the months after. Working himself to the bone, no sleep, no food, no nothing. He just had to be doing something. The one good thing that came out of it was his weekly visits to his mother.” A small pause, a moment of consideration for her and an odd feeling of fascination for me. I was soaking it up like a sponge because I was seeing, at last, his angle. “Maybe it hit him that if death came for Petra, it could come for Kuchel, too. I can’t know for sure. All I know is he exhausted himself to the point he collapsed. Unconscious for three whole days. Isabel told him he’d gotten the internship when he woke up.”

“So he used it as an escape,” I finished. It was a logical conclusion. Hanji nodded. Avoiding pain wasn’t the way but he’d been desperate to get away and the internship had been the perfect opportunity. He’d grabbed his bags, boarded the plane and then… well, had to deal with me. Not a warm welcome by any means. He hadn’t even had the energy to get angry or look like he felt anything. I hadn’t known, hadn’t cared enough to see. It made me uncomfortable to realise it.

“Flew over a whole ocean and kept working,” Hanji proceeded. “He wanted something to distract himself with. When he ran out of work because he did overtime, he started calling home more often. Vague details were all he gave, but I got the feeling he had something else to work on.” Hanji’s words made a lopsided smile kiss my lips. He’d wanted to busy himself with my well-being, but I’d taken it the wrong way, as I often did. Nowadays the matter was often used against him but never by him – wasn’t that funny?

“Becoming the spoiled brat’s babysitter,” I filled in kindly, but Hanji’s disapproving frown meant to reproach along with the eloquent gesture of her crossing her arms. I didn’t regret the way I worded it. Eren, Annie, Mikasa and my mother had often tried to make me rethink my ways, but results were yet to manifest. This story, with me as the shitty protagonist most likely to be insufferable contrary to sympathy-inducing, portrayed reality as I saw it – and reality often neglected character development.

“He never called you either, but he did mention taking care of you had the same effect as working, if not better. I felt he might find himself a friend, so I supported him. I think I made the right choice. You have a lot in common,” Hanji declared. It struck a cord – did we really? Our arguments were fire lashing out at ice – not something that happened with people got along. Levi was hard to anger whereas I had a short fuse – everything was a personal insult. No easier target than a conceited paranoid.

“On the topic of that,” I piped. “How do you forget somebody?” The question was light-hearted. I decided to dismiss the whole story so I could ponder it later. Hanji’s brows furrowed as she smiled sympathetically. She couldn’t imagine the situation well enough. The question was I over Eren? had kept at a safe distance from my mind during my birthday vacation and the beginning of August only to assault it now with pitiless ire.

Things kept coming back when I least needed them. Thoughts of the twinkle in his teal eyes or the crooked smile he always wore before a kiss, the sound of his voice – the softness he’d told me he loved me with the first time, the haunting quiver in it when we were breaking up. I woke up at night with the howl of planes taking off and landing. On some mornings, I woke up, hoping to hear a knock at the door and see his face. Would he be more tan? Would his eyes be the same? Would his hair be styled differently? Would he have grown taller?

But, (Y/N), a voice would say in my head, people don’t grow taller just like that, it’s physically impossible.

Eren can, I’d argue, because Eren is my boyfriend and he can do anything if he puts his mind to it.

But Eren wasn’t my boyfriend and he wasn’t a miracle-maker. I’d sit in bed and argue with myself that Eren would come back, that I wanted the best for him and that wasn’t me, that we were done, but that he’d still come back. He never did. A small desperate part of me still hoped for the door to open – any door. Erwin Smith’s apartment’s front door right now, even. I could almost hear his footsteps going up the stairs. I swore I could. I turned to Hanji, a naïve question – can’t you? – flickering in my orbs. She didn’t catch it.

“I’m not an expert,” she said instead. “But Levi can be of help. His coping mechanisms aren’t the best example to follow, but he has a good head on his shoulders. He just doesn’t listen to it.” She might’ve thought, with how desperate I looked, that I might cry. She didn’t know pride would rather have me rip out of my tear ducts before that happened. I didn’t cry often or in many people’s presence. That wasn’t to say I didn’t like Hanji. But Annie and, unfortunately, Levi were the exceptions here. The latter was a mystery, probably my attempt to play a damsel in distress to ask for attention. Attention and help and fucking, might as well – a kiss. Couldn’t he just kiss me sometimes without me having to be in the middle of a mood?

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t copy those coping mechanisms even if I wanted to. Work, sex and alcohol are never a good mix.” I let out an awkward string of laughter, weirded out by my abrupt disconnection from the conversation and how it turned my thoughts against me. I didn’t miss him that much. Also, he was coming home tomorrow. I had nothing to play the desperate whore for. There was the blondie. That wasn’t jealousy, though. I’d say it was my wish to prove myself better.

“Sex?” Hanji echoed with a conflicted expression.

“Sex with my father’s secretary. I think it was around May. He stormed out after calling her and came back drunk in the middle of the night,” I explained. The brown-haired woman took a second to process the story, then burst out in incredulous laughter. My brows twitched. “What’s so funny?” Was it something else or was I just weird for not thinking my father’s intern and secretary fucking the joke of the century?

“I remember him telling me about that,” she started, voice hinting at a new bout of cackling. “He went to her place for paperwork and she had her boyfriend over. They kept offering him drinks and he agreed to shut them up. Crossed the line at some point. He even got lost on his way back to the house.” I wanted to face-palm using the table and, hopefully, get myself into a coma. Was there a person on this Earth denser than me or was I a phenomenal idiot?

“Oh, God,” I muttered in a wheeze. “I’m so stupid.” Embarrassment and shame painted the tips of my ears bright crimson as I clenched my fists. Hanji patted my shoulder.

“You’re not stupid. I would’ve thought the same if I had no context. Levi would never just have a one-night stand, though. Not the type of person for it. He claims it’s the wrongest way to get over something.” Her brown eyes, previously fixed on me, were now directed at the coffee table. “Might work for you, but he most certainly hates it.” A snort was drawn from her lips as she withdrew her hand from my shoulder. I tried not to think about it, but it was inevitable. Hitch’s party, him refusing, refusing, refusing, because it would be “just like that” and “just like that” was a solution for neither of us.

“I’ll consider it,” I joked. “I was busy up until recently, but maybe university won’t be enough to distract me.” I smiled as Hanji chuckled, patting my back.

“Another boyfriend should do the trick in that case,” she said.

But I don’t want another boyfriend, I wanted to counter. I want your grumpy short friend. The thought froze me up. Asshole-me joined Hanji’s hearty chuckle. Bold of me to think it. Terrible of me to think it. Wrong of me to think it. It was complicated. If romance was not involved here, it was undeniable at this point. I could almost feel it written in capital letters on my forehead.

ATTRACTED TO LEVI ACKERMAN. VERY.

“I’m not ready for the commitment.” Was the only comment to exit my mouth due to the sudden discomfort nestling in the crevice of my ribcage. “I think,” I added awkwardly, reluctant regarding a relationship but very opinionated on the topic of engaging my father’s intern in something inappropriate that would make our relations twice as complicated as they were.

“A friend with benefits then?” Hanji’s mind-reading abilities amazed. I realised it suddenly – that it was natural, this attraction of mine, no matter how humiliating and inconvenient. It wasn’t weird and maybe it wasn’t all that wrong. It was a guy who was three years older than me who lived with me that I considered unreachable. The forbidden fruit, so to say. He was handsome, mysterious and had abs. Natural to be attracted to that. Natural to be attracted to it when I saw it every day and it saw me every day and most times it treated me with passive kindness. So there’d be no harm, I assumed, in initiating something a smidge bigger. What was stopping me? I didn’t have a boyfriend, I wouldn’t feel guilty and I wasn’t insecure because, hey, he’d kissed me last time. Obviously, I wasn’t nasty.

“Update from a virgin to a slut then?” I smirked, a decision born. Hanji’s mouth clamped shut shamefully and I laughed. “I’m kidding, calm down. It was just a joke.” I patted her back. The ring on my finger was cool to the couch and soothing. My resolve, for once, was there. I had a goal. A simple one at that – nothing dangerous. Two words: kiss Levi. I would do it because there was nothing to stop me. I mean, what was the worst that could happen?

…

Imagine an elegant expensive kitchen armed with all kinds of top-quality appliances. Paradise for all little housewives who greet their husbands with a warm meal. I wasn’t that type and the fact I spent four hours cooking more food than a family of six could eat didn’t make me one either. Judging was futile because I took care of that myself during the whole process. Currently, the fruit of my effort sat in front of me – a full three-course meal with different forks to go with the high-class atmosphere. I was far from a successor of Gordon Ramsay, but I outdid myself this time. Why? Last-minute anxiety maybe. Or fear. I needed a distraction because the thought of Eren wouldn’t stop pestering me. Added to that was the fact my father could walk in without Levi. Asshole-me didn’t help.

Bet on the outcome now! A once-in-a-lifetime offer that provides an endless amount of entertainment for the whole family! Fifty bucks says a discount version of William will use the vanishing potion and fly back to France! The other side of the bet? Sorry, I don’t know her. With such a commentator, it was early to skip the food and go straight to consuming my fingernails. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Place your bets right now, your bets need to go in the ballot box, quickly fill out the slips and put them in! Will he go or yes? And what’s the sweat for, princess? Don’t we like watching history repeat itself? I love it. So bet, bet, bet, bet! Come on, faster! If I had a penny for each time your father’s intern left you in the summer, I’d have two pennies. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s hilarious it happened twice!

The jingle of keys pulled the plug on asshole-me’s voice. I’d waited a whole hour now and my head snapped up so fast I heard my neck pop. The front door opened and my heart flinched when my father walked in, dressed in one of those hideous Hawaiian shirts they sold in souvenir shops and flaunting on his nose and cheekbones a really bad case of sunburn. He’d say the sun was harsh in Minnesota. I’d pretend not to hear because believing was impossible. He slipped out of his sandals and I clasped my hands together in excitement.

“Dad, finally! I was starting to think I’d have to reheat everything,” I said. He turned to face the fake exasperation masking the genuine joy I felt at his return. A doubtful smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and my eyes were frantically bouncing from him to the open door. Panic began to well up in my mind. Asshole-me was diligently digging a hole for it, to fit as much as possible.

“A pretty big feast you have there.” Rolland Raven took off the sunglasses he was wearing to eye the food a bit better. I cracked a smile I hoped wouldn’t seem constipated. My thought process was starting to lag due to overload when I heard a faint curse. Next thing, Levi’s pale figure, wearing a ridiculous straw hat. My heart dropped like a stone, plugged the pit of panic and made asshole-me yelp when it nearly crushed her fingers. I felt like stumbling back into my chair and never getting up.

“I guessed you might be hungry after the flight. You don’t have to eat all of it,” I said. It was then a pair of graphite hues shot up to my face. It felt like each muscle in it strained almost to the point of tearing. My father took a seat at the counter while the intern opted to drop off his luggage upstairs and change clothes. I stared after him a second too long while he was climbing the stairs.

“You’ve never waited for me after a business trip before.” (E/c) clashed with (e/c) as my father began picking his food and digging in with more enthusiasm than I’d expected. Levi had mentioned the almightly Raven had complained about the poor quality on the trip compared to what he had at home, but it was still a compliment to witness it manifested.

“I usually have things to do when you’re on business trips, father. This summer I needed a source of entertainment.” I rolled my eyes, letting them scan the interior during the roundabout lie. Lucky enough, they caught the exact moment Levi was leaving his room, tugging down his shirt. A glimpse of fit abdominals. A vague tan line. The food on the counter became a tad bit less appetising.

“Don’t you have Eren Jaeger to help with that?” My father’s question made my attention snap back in place just in time for Levi not to catch me staring. He took a seat at the far end of the counter but I was too preoccupied with a small freak-out fit to dwell on it.

“About that,” I squeaked out with a constipated expression, prompting both men’s attention to turn from half-hearted to wholly undivided. Amazing. I couldn’t have done a better job at it if I’d begun yodelling out of the blue. “Eren broke up with me two months ago.” The key to not sounding like a squeaky toy was to not meet anybody’s gaze. My father was blinking like something had gotten in his eye and Levi’s jaw clenched at the discomfort he was subjected to.

“And I wasn’t notified of that because?” Rolland Raven, among many a quality, was a proud man who, in spite of his profession, could never act quite as predictably as I wished him to. This was no exception because I didn’t have time to open my mouth before he silenced me with a hand in the air. “No, forget I asked. I need to have a serious talk with him. Maybe make him pay back all the dates you’ve handled with interest. We can make a fortune.” The devious plan was voiced in his typical cold-blooded businessman manner. I waved my hands around in discomfort.

“Hold your horses, father. You’re not the one who got dumped. Eren ended the whole thing because he went to study in Germany,” I explained but it wouldn’t satisfy my father, who only glared while putting a fork-full of potatoes in his mouth. Levi tried to become fully invisible. I thought if things got too heated for him, he might make a dash for his room with the dish.

“Unreasonable as can be. If he loved you as much as he had the balls to claim in front of me, he could’ve thought of an alternative that didn’t include breaking your heart. Because of something as insignificant as distance, too.” My father leaned back in his chair with folded arms. He forgot all about food so he could glare at me.

“4898 miles to be exact,” I murmured pitifully. Both men shot me an incredulous look, to which I switched on defence mode. “I did my research. I wasn’t crying the whole time.” Subconsciously copying my father’s position, I reclined in my chair and crossed my arms, glaring like a child prior to giving a sigh and smiling weakly. “I gave it a lot of thought and he did the right thing. So can you be the one to tell mom later?” The last inquiry seemed to surprise him, maybe because it was expected of me to share more with my mother and thus already have her know the super secret information I was handing him.

“I’ll try not to cry as I do.” A nod and a similar weak smile. “You did well not to tell me immediately.” He returned to normal – calculating and sharp, looking for weaknesses and thinking in numbers. Levi’s lack of shock went unnoticed, which I was secretly thankful for. The raven was looking at me playing with the silver band around my finger to soothe my nerves.

“Because you would’ve gone to the airport to kick him to the curb like a good father?” I smirked, a pointed look aimed at the dark-haired businessman, who only snorted in return prior to redirecting his attention back to the food.

“… maybe.” A small pause betraying care, an awkward glance in his intern’s direction conveying mild panic as a result of his feelings showing and a fake clearing of the throat to show discomfiture. He changed the topic immediately. “Have I told you you’ve become a better cook than your mother?” (E/c) clashed with (e/c) and I knew he could see I was holding back laughter by the way the corner of his mouth twitched downwards in displeasure.

“You have now. Congratulations on successfully dodging the topic,” I announced with a complacent grin as he scoffed, ignoring the embarrassment so he could go back to eating. Levi’s gaze was relentless but, once having resolved the current minor conflict, I felt too ashamed to return it. I couldn’t be speaking of Eren, thinking of Levi and acting like a professional whore. It went against my moral code. I wished it was as stable as my pride. Somewhere in my head, asshole-me was drafting an advertisement for the future demise of both.

The following day was unexpectedly laid back in terms of emotions – the process of waking up and going to work was starting to become mechanical. I disliked that I was turning into a nine-to-five zombie, but Melinda’s cross remarks did nothing to hinder my placidity and Adam’s request for a date was, surprisingly, accepted with a pinch of reluctance. It was time for something new, I defended when asshole-me breached the topic of my change of heart. I couldn’t go a whole life without clashing with a man who wasn’t Eren. To forget him, I actually needed to accept that. Because knowing he wouldn’t come back and I didn’t want to get back together was different from realising I couldn’t stay in the comfort zone of being endlessly attached to him and using it as an excuse to never move on.

I felt a smile light up my face the moment I saw Levi in front of the TV with a cup of tea in his hand. Unfortunately, I couldn’t use him to move on – it was the conclusion I drew from the quiet happiness gripping my heart at the sight of him beckoning me over. Everything I’d done had been quite enough. I wouldn’t turn him into a tool as well. So I settled on the couch and we led a half-assed conversation about the movie playing until my parents barged in, beaming and formal. Going for a date at a restaurant – yeah, no, I knew where they were going after. I smiled as we sent them off, and then the ebony-haired intern began choosing the movie we’d be watching and I worked on the snacks downstairs.

Accepted a date, claimed you won’t use him and now you’re pondering the kiss you’ll initiate. You know you’re fucked in the head, correct? Asshole-me piped mockingly, making me huff. I knew I was fucked in the head because she was there. Also, kissing Levi and using Levi were two different things. Different for him how? It’s kissing. It wasn’t. It would be exploring this time – not thinking about being distracted but feeling it for what it was. Jesus, that’s such a weak excuse. I felt she might be face-palming. Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You spent so much time telling your best friend you don’t like him, then you miss Eren, then you “date” Adam, then you grab your friend-zoned intern and decide you’ll be kissing him again – after you established you’re fucking inferior to the blondie who’s clearly hitting on him or clearly intent on doing it too. Can you not follow the timeline?

“Princess, why does Natalie tell me you’ve filled out all the forms related to the company’s income during our vacation?” Levi lowered the phone from his ear. The call had ended a second ago and he was glaring at me doubtfully. I was busy watching the movie – hopefully, excuse enough for scarce to no eye contact. I opened the pack of Doritos I’d dug up from my secret stash in the garage and warily eyed the pale intern’s expression.

“Because the forms were in the office downstairs and I figured they’d get in the way of our movie marathon, asshole. I haven’t messed them up.” My scoff was promptly returned to sender as Levi shoved his phone back in his pocket and clicked his tongue in exasperation. Another three minutes passed before I spoke up: “By the way, I need advice.” The room was dimly lit and the raven’s sharp gaze was on my temple.

“Will you have it in mind when you get back on your bullshit?” The inquiry was flat and doubtful. I tried to nod but it came out looking like a cringe and a shrug. His lips pursed in exhaustion. “Spill,” he ordered coldly, making me pout.

“How do I forget Eren?” Squeaky was the best I could do after becoming tense again. Nervousness was gnawing at the feeble stem of courage I’d managed to grow and my hopes for this to go as smoothly as a chat about the weather were stuck in an elevator on the top floor of a skyscraper. Even overthinking was useless here.

“Easy,” he said. Again, there was that breach of grammar. “Find somebody new. Judging by how much you’re smiling these days, you might as well be done with that.” The suspicious mockery made me snort.

“Don’t you think I might be happy to have you and dad back home?” I asked pointedly.

“No,” he countered with a defiant click of his tongue. What he said next sounded like an extract from a Jorge Bucay book. Something about self-love maybe. “Before you get with Rivers, however, you have to accept that Jaeger is now your ex. He’s part of the past and the past doesn’t hold power over the future if you don’t let it.” I bit back laughter to not offend him.

“Such a poet you are,” I huffed half-heartedly. “And how do I stop loving him?” Seriousness stood perched on my right shoulder, but the Doritos between us kept decreasing and I felt the soothing coolness of the ring on my finger. Our gazes locked and I stared, just because I could, because he was back, because he acted normally. And why wouldn’t he? Our circumstances surely weren’t enough to alter his demeanour.

“You don’t. You never will and you should get used to it.” His answer cut deep and I realised it might’ve confused me but I was too captivated by his eyes to process it. He forced himself to explain: “We never stop loving somebody once we’ve fallen for them. We just fall harder for another person.” It was as romantic as it was businessman-like. A bit too… systematic somehow.

Line up, line up! Asshole-me encouraged. I imagined a big queue in front of an entrance door with a sign bearing my name above it. Number 12, pass through, but beware – number 10 wasn’t careful with his words and number 11 made no effort to change that! The asshole side of me clearly fancied the idea. For all waiting, the Eren Jaeger mural is on the left and the guy on the right is the one you’ll never be! Keep trying but keep this face in mind – Levi Ackerman is hiding in a lot of the corners you’ll visit! He’s an invaluable guest at this establishment! Oh! Is it time for the next one already? Hurry up, number 13! Don’t hold up the queue, who knows how much capacity we have left. And so on until the last victim had walked in. It made my nose scrunch up.

“Does that mean you still haven’t gotten over Petra?” I piped curiously, bright eyes observing closely the intern’s reaction. The movie was no longer as interesting. Everything I could focus on was the furrow between Levi’s brows and the flat unperturbed look in his eyes. He grabbed a Dorito from the pack. I moved my hand away just in time to avoid a clash.

“It means I haven’t fallen in love with the next in line,” he said, reinforcing the notion of a queue. “I’m used to the fact she’d dead. Filling out every report in the world won’t bring her back,” he paused briefly and gulped, “so I go on with my life.” The explanation was simple but relatively quiet, like he was trying to say the words while not exactly aiming to have me hear them. His gaze was staring at the screen ahead as I looked down, trying to come up with a good one-liner to put him out of his discomfort.

“I feel like we’re becoming pensive,” I started with a lopsided smirk, “so let me pull a Reverse Uno card on this mood by saying I’ve reached a milestone in my life.” Licking the Dorito dust off my fingers, I puffed out my chest proudly, making the intern put a hand to his mouth. Maybe he’d bitten back a smile behind it. “I won’t get fined for driving without supervision now. Not to mention, I can have sex.” Waving an index finger in front of his face, I didn’t react when he grabbed it without warning.

“I don’t see what stopped you before,” he stated nonchalantly. I shrugged, concluding I hadn’t exactly shared with him details about my childish vow.

“There was this really religious teacher at school when I was ten – she scarred all her classes by giving them unsolicited Sex Education lectures mixed with Bible verse. Got fired because children complained to their parents, but she did a good one on me before that,” I explained with a smile, yanking my finger from his hold. “Since sex was for sinners – both began with the letter s, she explained to us – and I didn’t want to be a sinner because it meant… well, a bad person, I told myself I’d have sex only after turning eighteen, regardless of the temptation. So I held out. Proud of myself for that.” My complacent smile made him snort. He might’ve glanced at my lips right after.

“I’m sure there’s been a lot of temptation for you, princess,” he drawled in a deep sarcastic voice, moving the empty bag of Doritos away before wiping his fingers with as I processed the retort. I sat still, pouting for a fraction of a second, when it hit me this was my chance. The signal was there – shining in bright green, if I wasn’t color-blind – and it was time for me to grasp the opportunity.

“More than you can imagine, asshole,�� I said with a scoff, not parting my eyes from his profile to observe his reaction. We cast aside the fact he could’ve poked fun at me being the furthest thing from a believer, yet such a big aspect of my life had been altered by a religious teacher. The tip of his nose twitched when he snorted in dismissal, not daring to meet my eye all of a sudden.

“The mood has been brightened. What do we do now?” He turned to face me, curious but hesitant, and I felt a surge of courage at the sight of the indecisiveness dawdling about in his grey eyes. The blue specks were calling me – count us, (Y/N), count us – and I concluded this would be the one time I initiated anything between us. It was stressful and scary, but it was Levi, so want overpowered fear, resulting in something we’d have a hard time sorting out our feelings on.

“Watch the movie you so diligently picked for us maybe?” But actions contradicted words because I was leaning in and he could see it. For two whole seconds, there was no movement on his end. Panic was about to make me pull back, pin it to something else, anything else, when his hand lifted, slender fingers gently tucking my hair behind my ear. This was it. It would happen. I was exploring what it’d be like without the guilt of purposefully seeking distraction.

It was slow – the first kiss – his lips barely landing on top of mine so we could taste the water even when we knew it was lukewarm. The movie was like white noise – I could catch fragments of dialogue and the screen illuminated Levi’s profile the few times my lids fluttered open. His hold on the side of my face was gentle, granting permission for me to pull back at any point. I didn’t know what he was thinking. I knew I was barely thinking and it felt nice, for my head to be so blissfully empty. It was all sensations and when he dragged his tongue over my bottom lip, my mouth opened to allow access for further exploration. The kiss deepened and I tried to push closer into him.

“Get on top,” he muttered into my mouth. His right hand dipped to grab my leg. I might’ve flushed bright red, but I still complied, slowly straddling him and letting his hands guide me to where he found it most comfortable. I was terribly aware of what I sat on. It might’ve been terribly aware of me, too.

It was slow and fast at the same time. We weren’t breaking the kiss but some moments of it – like his hand brushing my side and making me cover in goosebumps – were fleeting like blinks while others – like the weird scorching thing in my whole torso – felt endless. It was indescribable to a point, the heat of the moment but the moment was long and the pace was changing slightly the more it went on. It hadn’t been him either. It was him responding to me, because I couldn’t for the life not hold him tightly and subconsciously look for more. We were glued together and his fingers had tentatively pushed up my shirt at the back so they could trail up and down the curve of my spine.

My head was tilted, fingers tangled in his hair and heavy huffs escaping my nostrils. He smelled like lavender and rain and cologne, and my fucking conditioner I’d told him a thousand times to stop using because it was expensive. I didn’t bother scolding him about it now. My desperate want turned the kisses hungrier and there was this point – I might’ve wiggled slightly to find an even closer spot – but he stiffened and grabbed the back of my head, growing twice as persistent and passionate. Weird, using that word about him. It hit me the forbidden part of male anatomy I was seated on top of had risen to attention. It made me wonder if it had happened before and that, in turn, was simultaneously embarrassing and flattering. He was attracted to me, too. Duh. We were literally making out on my bed.

When more began translating as more of everything instead of more of this particular thing, he seemed to sense the shift. His hands guided me off his lap and back on the bed. My head was resting against the pillow and my head was empty, lids fluttering open to drink the sight of him the first time he broke the kiss – pale but handsome, tired but caring, bored but clearly moved by the happening. It was a miracle. I’d been begging for this statue to show me anything in the beginning of his internship. I hadn’t known it could show me this – it looked like a godsend. My heart was going a hundred miles per hour, my breath was unsteady and my body felt hot all over.

It didn’t matter where he kissed – my lips, my neck, my chest, my shoulders – I just wanted him to keep kissing me. Temptation had seldom been this strong and the vow was no longer active, it was fulfilled – an electrifying realisation. I didn’t need to have him stop. What my sinner’s hands did the moment that resolution snapped in place was to grab the hem of his shirt and, with pointed urgent eyes, plead with him to take it off. He hesitated for exactly one second, then complied, like he’d complied with everything else without having me say it. He was kneeling between my legs, arms going over his head so the piece of clothing could be discarded. His chest and abdomen flexed, the biceps, the triceps, all the other names of muscles I’d had to read about but hadn’t memorised. Adonis in the flesh. Fuck me for drooling. Oh.

If I could paint, I’d paint him. If I could sing, I’d write a song. If I had a taser, I’d tase myself out of being so cringe-worthy in admiring the body of a man. But when that body pressed against mine, everything became a bit too hot – literally and metaphorically – so I decided the next step was to cool down by taking off my own clothes. First the shirt, then the pants he helped out with. I almost laughed when they tangled at my ankles and he had to tug them off with an irritated frown. Here it was, having my father’s intern see my bra again. This time I didn’t mind.

“Frills? Seriously?” Well, now I minded.

“Do we have an issue?” I snapped with a pointed look. It didn’t help he was towering over me, sizing up my underwear with eyes that spoke simultaneously of him being amused and him being something else. I wondered if he was still hard. I hadn’t touched there once.

“It’s almost cute,” he mocked flatly. He didn’t reach to take it off – he just leaned down to mollify me with a kiss. It worked. I was carried off into wanting more again. The weight of him on top of me grounded the body and made the soul soar. It was a cringe comparison but whatever, it was true. I realised, right about the time I tugged on the waistband of his sweatpants and his brows flashed in unrestrained surprise, that I was an eighteen-year-old doing exactly what was expected of every single eighteen-year-old on the planet – sneaking a boy into my room while my parents were out.

This here was a boy I trusted and a boy I was halfway convinced was more of a man than a boy, mostly when it came to observing how he casually sat up and removed his sweatpants with precision contrary to clumsiness. My eyes flickered down to his boxers. Still hard alright. There was a rush of excitement and shame all at once when I realised it. A bit too late to stop and pin this a mere heat-of-the-momet make-out session. It was the real deal. Happening. Live. In my room. On a late August evening. Goodness gracious.

It took me a second to process it and he might’ve sensed that I’d grown a bit rigid despite remaining just as active. He didn’t advance the happening, petting my hair and kissing me, and trailing lower, but only as low as he’d gone before, finding the rest a sort of forbidden land. Didn’t even take off the bra with the frills he mocked me for. What a gentleman. He was kissing the curve of my breast and I was wondering how in the fucking hell I’d deserved this.

“We don’t have to,” he warned at some point. “If you don’t want to. Saying no is allowed.” He kissed me and it was intoxicating, but also the last snapped nerve. I arched my back off the bed, elbows bending so my hands could reach for my bra clip. The shoulder straps went loose and Levi paused for a moment to process what the act meant.

“I won’t say it,” I muttered with determination, eyes locked with his. Pride was strong within me even now and, having the wordless consent, he gently took off the bra before paying some attention to newfound territory. It was like being examined in a lab. Again, my boobs weren’t perfect. It was genetics and fate, and whatever else. In being embarrassed about him staring at my chest, I was graced by the thought I hadn’t shaved anywhere. Double embarrassed. Wasn’t it only right that the first time would come with presentability? There go the Raven teachings.

And the word nipple is somewhat lame – I’ve heard it from native and non-native speakers of English both – but there is no other word. So when his tongue rolled around my nipple, I forgot I hadn’t shaved and drew such a sharp breath I almost choked. My chest was heaving and he was thumbing my other nipple. I thought we’d get straight to it and was mistaken. He knew better, it seemed, because a virgin needed the bare minimum of this much and more foreplay to truly relax. It hit me for a fraction that this was actual foreplay while I was staring at the ceiling between trying not to make any sounds. I was like a dead fish, just letting him do things to me. More responsive than a dead fish but awfully inexperienced in any case. It made me feel just a bit guilty. My one saving grace was the fact his erection kept brushing against my leg – and if that was there, then it meant he wasn’t dissatisfied.

It was a black spot for a while because I couldn’t pinpoint between the overwhelming build-up of nice but not nice enough where exactly Levi was kissing or sucking or nipping or touching. Now it would be my thigh, now leaving a hickey on my shoulder, now trailing kisses over my jaw and down my neck, now caressing my side, now trailing a finger down to my navel, now my boob, intermission, the other boob – and the whole time there was that thing in my abdomen, the same one I’d felt with Eren, the hot knot begging for attention.

This was a new person and I hadn’t thought it’d come with a new person, but it was there alongside a brand new dynamic which wasn’t hurried or harsh or overtly passionate like I’d been used to. The pace was decent and steady and passion here didn’t amount to bruises – or at least not explicitly so. The new person made it thrilling, overwhelming. The new person made it a brand new experience. And when the brand new person’s hand gently dipped to touch the part where my legs met, I shivered all over, heart and lady boner flinching at once. Levi, with his obstinacy, refused to ask permission vocally. I still nodded, spreading my legs a bit wider. Slowly, like my panties weren’t in the way, he kissed from my knee to the base of my inner thigh, nipped slightly and made me yelp, and muffled something like a chuckle against the plush of my leg.

I didn’t know what he was thinking. I knew his fingers pressing against the spot where wetness had accumulated made my mouth gape slightly. I craned my neck and closed my eyes. There was embarrassment holding hands with excitement, with pleasure breathing down their necks. Nothing quite mattered. I breathed out like I’d been holding my breath for fourteen minutes when the raven’s fingers gently dragged back and forth against my core and then he might’ve been impatient, because he tugged my underwear out of the way, down my legs, past the knees and the ankles, dropping it with the rest of our clothes and the empty Dorito bag on the floor. It was a whole mess, this thing. I wanted it.

“The house is empty, princess,” he said while leaning down to kiss below my navel.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, almost out of breath in spite of my lungs functioning perfectly. His fingers were ghosting on the side of where I wanted him to touch. His mouth dragged lower. There was the jab of shame about not being shaved again. It hadn’t sent him to his feet and out of the room, so it was probably fine. A man wasn’t afraid to fight the jungle, I’d heard a few times before.

“That you can make noise without being scared,” he responded casually. I snorted and decided inwardly that I wouldn’t be making any noise whatsoever, just to spite him. It did feel good, though, so I doubted I could actually hold back effectively. As though to challenge the unsaid decision, Levi cut the suspense short. When his tongue rested where only one other had before, I came close to whining. My hand shot down to paw at his hair and he hummed against my clit. The vibrations of it made me writhe slightly.

He licked and sucked – nipped twice, which made me yelp both times – and did all sorts of other magic. Added to the title of mind-reader would now be the rank of mage. Then, there was this point when I could feel his fingers prodding at my entrance – a gentle warning of what was to come. First it was one. My mouth gaped and there was a slight flash of something like pain. More like discomfort. Now this was brand new wherever I looked at it from. Remember, my vow had its doors but none had included penetration. Officially the furthest I’d gone with somebody. Goodbye, hymen. You served us well.

He waited. Waited almost a full minute and distracted me with his tongue before I rolled my hips to give him the green light. Slow pumps. It was still uncomfortable, but the friction wasn’t painful. Just uncomfortable and new and I didn’t like change, but when this one found with its finger one particular spot sold off as the Bermuda Triangle for men to find, I might’ve liked this particular change. First, it made me moan. Second, the more he kept reaching that spot – because it was impossible to miss I liked it – the closer I was to coming. There were sloppy sounds and a second finger inserting itself in me, and my voice bouncing off the walls before dropping to the floor in a hush.

I might’ve said his name, actually, I might’ve half-screamed it. The orgasm hit me like a brick dropping straight on my genitals and he kept flicking his tongue slower and slower until I’d ridden it out in full. How considerate. When his fingers came out, there was a spot of blood. My mouth clamped shut in shame. He reached over to clean them with a wet wipe – then he cleaned me, too, because obviously he could see things that were invisible to me. There was slick on his chin and I glared half-heartedly when his eyes twinkled in amusement at me.

“Well, that’s done,” I muttered while he leaned over with the intention to kiss me again. “Wipe your mouth, asshole.” I put a hand to his chest to prevent my own pussy juices from coming in contact with my face. For a clean-freak, he sure didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get them off.

“You don’t want to see how tasty it is?” He was mocking me. I was red and hot all over still, a bit like a deflated balloon being refilled with exasperation contrary to air. No longer a virgin, as far as doctors would care. Still kind of in the middle, considering typical hetero interactions included something more than fingers.

“God, no!” I tried to push at his jaw and he almost chuckled when the pussy juice got on my fingers and I flicked my wrist frantically to get it off.

“It was god, yes a second ago,” he drawled pointedly. I burned bright red under his gaze, naked and not a hymen-bearer and kind of lost as to what came next. I pouted, swatted his shoulder and pretended to be very disgusted when he kissed me, making it open-mouted and sloppy for the sake of spiting me. In truth, it didn’t taste like much. Tasted weird, unlike food and drink. Well, that’s bodily fluids for you.

Remember the right-est choice I made as of late? Here it comes. The kiss guided his fingers down to my clit again and mine – to the band of his boxers. A tug and a snap, and he asked me three whole fucking times if I was sure. Not verbally, of course. It was just the particular way he stopped between each step to make sure, to look at me straight in the eye and have me nod my consent back to him. Like I’d change my mind that fast. God’s sake – if I would’ve said no, I would’ve said it before we’d kissed. But this wasn’t something he would do under normal circumstances – not a matter of alcohol, guilt or duty. It was free will and choice. Mine might’ve been made sometime last month, right around my birthday.

The boxers were gone. I blinked at it. A penis in textbooks, a dick in colloquial speech, a cock in smut books, a member in tame erotica. Length, girth, meat sword, love machine – could go on forever. We sat staring at it like it was an alien and while I was bashful, I was also bad with measurements without the aid of a ruler, hence why I safely concluded that I could stack about four donuts on it and put the zipper on it. There was that thing – precum, was it? – leaking from the tip. In all honesty, no I didn’t want to lick it off. Same went for sperm. In the history of mankind, I’d done the gracious thing and sucked off my boyfriend exactly once – the rest had been handjobs because blowjobs came with terrible pains in the jaw, a cramping of the tongue, a crap salty taste and the awkward detail of looking like an unattractive fish during the act. So, no, I didn’t volunteer to show off how bad I was at it.

“Condoms, shit.” It flew out of my mouth unintentionally. Levi’s face scrunched up. We were both visited by the bitter realisation that going further was not an option anymore, unless he wanted to don on a sock. Then the solution came to me. “Keep it up, I’ll be back in a minute,” I mumbled hurriedly, jumping off the bed and rushing butt-naked out of the room so I could go to my parents’ bedroom. Yeah, no, such was the reality of things. I tried to keep my conscience untainted while rummaging through the wardrobe. The hidden box of condoms in the back by the shoes was the saving grace. I wouldn’t speak of this to a living soul that wasn’t Annie Leonheardt ever.

The moment I returned to the room with the box held proudly over my head, Levi snorted. He laid me on the bed again and the mood returned, which was weird because I’d pinned him the type of experience one moment of interruption and consider it all ruined. Not that I’d thought about him during sex or having sex. I hadn’t. I promise. I was thinking it now, when I was about to have it with him. The kisses eased the natural awkwardness and by the time he was putting it in, I was a desperate mess again. Sweat stuck to skin and my breath got stuck in my throat when he pushed it in. I blanked, gaped like I’d received a headshot and felt him stand still to let me adjust. There was, again, mild discomfort. Fingers couldn’t compare to a dick.

I gave it half a minute and told him to move. The first thrust had me whining into his mouth. It was good. It was good, progressively becoming better and better and better, a surprise arriving with each snap of his hips. My father’s intern having sex with me, my father’s intern, my father’s intern, my intern, my Levi. The first five minutes were full of careful slow strokes to let the awkwardness dissipate and for me to get used to it. I won’t call myself anything but I’ll say I got used to it a bit too fast for comfort. So it went. Losing my virginity to my father’s intern.

“Faster, can you--- a bit faster?” The words were choked out and you’d wonder why I would ask for faster when slow was doing a good job of making my chest heave like I was running a marathon, but it was maddening and addictive.

“I can for you, princess.” It was a rasp against the side of my neck and I was blanking because the voice, paired with the hands, with the scent, with the sensation of being full and empty, then full and empty again was so mind-numbing I could melt on the spot and stay there forever. So slow and careful turned into fast and considerate. There was no harshness in him even when he kneaded my boobs or licked stripes down the length of my throat, no harshness whatsoever when he gripped my thighs or my sides. It was tight, but pleasant, egging me on further.

I bit down on the pillow when he found the spot. I bit his finger, too. I bit his shoulder and I bit my own hand to keep my voice down because how was something on this Earth allowed to be so nice? Fuck. He murmured at me to moan if I felt like it. There was a smug undertone. And when he reached between us to roll circles around my clit, I didn’t moan – I was a banshee impersonator, neck craning, back arching, toes curling, all that jazz. I came with a crash and a bang, and it might’ve been an hour by now, or maybe more, but the neighbourhood was asleep and I was wide awake, trying to wake them up, too.

A five-minute break of kisses served as an intermission to avoid me becoming overstimulated but Levi was still hard and still quite energetic in spite of the fact he’d been fucking me for an overall of thirty minutes without stopping or having his pace hitch. Round two started fast and I had my legs up, knees on the sides of my head. It was hot, seeing him through that kind of frame. Just one bead of sweat on his temple – not sticky all over, unlike me. Why was I the one becoming exhausted anyway? I was being a pillow princess. His eyes were gorgeous and his lips were slightly swollen.

“Please, don’t stop,” I whined at some point. He didn’t seem to have any prospects of stopping anyway, but I couldn’t help it. He huffed, chest heaving with lust and I knew it wasn’t easy to be the one doing all the work, so I mentally gave credit where credit was due. “Oh--- Levi, God!” He seemed like he wanted to laugh and my ring glimmered in the dark against his cheek while I tried to pull him down for a kiss which was simply impossible in our current position. He switched it five minutes later. It was not an understatement to claim I was seeing stars and everything was nice and nothing was awkward and this was the most handsome man with the most stamina on this land.

I lost my voice at some point, or I thought I did because my third orgasm couldn’t make me bite down on the pillow fast enough to muffle the literal holler that left my lungs. His name, by the way. If that hadn’t woken the neighbours, I wasn’t sure anything would. I was recuperating and he was trailing gentle pecks along my neck, still not finished. Was sex always this physically draining? My mind might’ve blanked during the third round and we were in missionary again because I insisted that I be able to kiss him any time I wished to. His hand was holding my wrist captive and the other was massaging my breast and it was all a giant whirlpool of pleasure and heat and fluids – the nasty and the nice in one, but I couldn’t care less about the nasty.

He came with a growl, biting down on my shoulder to muffle something that sounded like my name as his pace hitched and turned sloppy for the first time in what felt like hours. He slumped down on top of me and I was breathing more heavily than him, calmed by the weight. I was blinking at the ceiling and my heart was doing somersaults in my ribcage. He went to shower after a minute of rest, I called him out for being a clean freak and it just so happened that my perception of time wasn’t all too warped because checking my phone made me realise we’d had sex for about three hours, foreplay included. I slipped into the shirt he’d tossed on the floor, wiped myself and very considerately ignored the soreness in my hips while changing the sheets.

To my biggest surprise, he returned to my room in a new pair of boxers with his hair wet. There was no invitation. He joined me on the clean bed and wrapped his arms around me. This might’ve been aftercare. When our gazes locked, I didn’t dare avert my eyes in bashfulness. It was surreal and I wanted to memorise it. Then he asked me again – as voicelessly as the first time and the following ten – and I answered positively by flashing him the biggest smile I could muster. No words were exchanged. Levi rolled his eyes and I tucked myself under his chin, legs tangling with his. I was knocked out cold. I wouldn’t hasten to write this off as a happy ending but I wouldn’t immediately turn it angsty either. I explored. It was nice. I don’t think I regretted it for a second.

Waking up was a surreal experience because it included the added luxury of being bathed in sunlight with a warm arm draped around my midriff and a pale sunlit face inches from mine. A spot of purple in the crook of his neck and a few red crescents on his shoulder. Perhaps one or two leftover scratches on his back. I blinked at the sight incredulously, gradually coming to and realising what this position meant – prompted by last night’s three different ones, too.

It happened! Asshole-me hollered in my head, nearly hysteric, slamming a pan into a bell and making the echo of the toll ring painfully against the confines of my skull. You ruined it all! It was like an automatic switch – suddenly, the neutral was the bad and I had complicated it with my impulsiveness, my stupid hormones. I imagined four months of awkwardness and the wish to have more but being completely incapable of asking for fear it would mean feelings. I pictured a tense atmosphere, uncomfortable interactions, embarrassing thoughts, lame excuses. A friendship built with struggle and just barely reinforced annihilated to smithereens by my dumb ass.

I cringed, removing my hand from Levi’s chest to slap myself across the face for being horrible again – not in using him but in indulging my own selfishness. His eyelids fluttered open before the admonishment transpired and I was staring straight into the melted silver which had the tendency to read my thoughts. The current self-reprimanding cacophony would entertain him.

“… should make you coffee,” he mumbled half-coherently, making me blink wondrously at his hazy composure. This is normal, his eyes whispered, lips pressing nonchalantly to my forehead before he got up, so there’s no need to be so shocked. The trip down the stairs was silent. I had left scratches. More than two.

Currently, we were in the kitchen, sitting around the counter with our mandatory morning drinks. Unsaid words hung from the ceiling like dangling cobwebs. Levi, who’d needed a moment to retrieve his memories in full, was stiff and uncertain, and in spite of that visibly calmer than me. I could feel my face heating up as I thought of what to say. This wasn’t normal, even if both of us upon our respective awakening had pinned it such. It was something we had to discuss but how were we supposed to discuss sex when we sometimes fought over food? Deciding what to do seemed impossible.

“Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?” The raven, of course, was the one who broke the silence while I was slurping on my coffee, gaze averted and heart beating erratically. “Princess, I’m afraid this is something important,” he said in the face of my silence. His piercing glare was on my temple but I wouldn’t turn, keeping my fingers glued to my cup and my mind grounded in panic. “Need I remind you exactly what happened?” Levi pressed additionally, husky voice raising in audible urgency. I felt completely and utterly naked – dressed in only his shirt and my own underwear.

“We had sex, that’s what happened.” I shrugged, mind preoccupied with the strange feeling eating its way into it. Deep into my stomach, up to my lungs, through the chambers of the heart, in the windpipe – but not painfully. “There’s nothing more to it.” The nonchalant statement didn’t get a warm welcome. That much was to be expected. The attractive intern was frowning, rubbing his temples with a frustrated sigh. I tried not to look at his fingers.

And I’m trying to do just that, asshole-me scoffed pointedly. There’s something different about them when they’ve been inside you last night, yeah? A good type of different. Imagine it. My shoulders tensed as I chased her around in my head with a frying pan. Levi ran a hand through his ebony locks. Wow, is that the sex hair? And I pursed my lips in displeasure, knowing the struggles of the current moment and choosing in spite of them to secretly a wish for a second time. No harm, you know, no harm whatsoever in wanting to fuck your father’s goddamn intern, yeah? No? Can you hear it? Does it sound like a good sentence? Does it?

“Where exactly does your lacking virginity fit into your nothing more to it?” His retort made me cringe, well aware of the virginity ace hidden up his imaginary sleeve. It was a bit harder to argue with him when he was half-naked, letting me see the spots I’d bitten and kissed. The situation: we’d had sex. My side: I had nothing against him being my first because I trusted him and he’d been experienced and careful enough to make it nice. The actual problem: he was my father’s intern.

The abstract part: intimacy often came with, well… intimacy. Casual sex had the advantage of not seeing your partner again afterwards and in our case, we’d had casual sex with somebody we saw daily. Future speculation: tension due to this adventure would brew either discord or twice the ferocity in repeating the adventure. A possible solution: talking about feelings. Additional issue: Levi and I talking about feelings? Not in this day and age. Not in this life either. Telling him he made me feel warm and appreciated? Impossible. Honesty in the face of something embarrassing? Sorry, I don’t know her. She must be really lame.

“Everywhere, because I don’t care for it. It might add complexity to your situation, but it doesn’t play a big role in mine.” Dismissing the whole of it and pinning it on him was wrong. My nonchalance was false. Maybe it was what made him take a deep breath prior to speaking up again, his tea untouched.

“You’re supposed to be freaking out, princess.” His eyes were on mine and asshole-me was screaming: Come on, do it! Just kiss him and make things worse! Go right ahead! I averted my gaze with a snort. He’d used my nickname last night. Added a shade of meaning to it. I tried to get a grip as my rational side reasoned with the situation. This had been a one-time thing – or at least for him. Following that train of thought, wanting more was useless.

“You think I’m not?” It was high-pitched and ludicrous. Memories were surfacing and it was somewhat unpleasant to think they wouldn’t repeat. Levi kissing me in the dark, almost saying my name, clearing the hair from my sweaty forehead, biting my neck as he came, smiling against my lips as I tugged on his hair and tried not to moan, holding me close afterwards, not once saying the wrong thing. “I’m freaking out. You just don’t see it.” My downcast gaze was thoughtful and the air was becoming heavier with something I couldn’t identify. I could feel him staring and it bugged me not to know what he was thinking. “What?” I snapped, refraining from playing with my ring.

“What do you want to do now?” He asked flatly, eyes pinning me in place. “Do you want me to pretend this didn’t happen or do you want us to keep going?” It was ridiculous hearing him say it because, usually, he wouldn’t. I blinked, thinking I’d misheard.

“Keep going as in keep having sex?” I echoed to make sure I’d understood. It might’ve gone out a bit more shocked than expected, which made him sigh.

“I was listing options. In the end, it all comes down to what you want.” The flat voice made me realise I knew what I wanted well enough to have chosen during the conversation with Hanji three days ago or maybe even before I’d had the courage to admit it to myself.

“I don’t know what I want,” I lied with a pointed look, vehement embarrassment clawing up my throat and scratching at the back of it. I could say I wanted to keep going – his offer meant he might be willing – but his response was a fifty-fifty on whether he was sexually frustrated or would rather stick to decorum while living in the same house as the girl he was fucking and her father. I couldn’t turn the question on him because it was mean. I couldn’t call it a mistake because that would be another lie. I was tired of lying when it didn’t go to protect my pride.

“You don’t?” He quirked a thin brow mockingly, feigning the surprise he didn’t feel. “Or you just don’t want to admit your favour the more embarrassing option?” I sat motionless, knowing this wasn’t what I should’ve been doing – considering it. Maybe this was a test he had for me – to see if I’d be dumb or act like a reasonable adult. But (there came that stupid word again) if Hanji had been right, this wasn’t a random hook-up, which meant there might be something and---

Are you seriously considering a relationship with somebody who’s leaving in less than four months? Asshole-me interjected, making me sigh in defeat. Doesn’t fuck randomly, okay, fine, but this is an exception. How in the fucking hell would he grow to like you? You know that’s impossible. Methinks he went along with it because you clearly wanted it. Think about it, he does all sorts of bullshit for you. So what sounds more plausible? Him being himself or him liking you? The former, of course, but I couldn’t admit it. Like I couldn’t admit he was right to say I favoured the more embarrassing option.

“Even if it was like that,” I chose to return the favour and be doubtful, “I’m not inclined to think your morals would let you humour me.” My chin was tipped upwards while Levi shook his head and finally took a sip from his tea. The ghost of a smirk in the corner of his mouth disarmed.

“I have little to nothing against it. But,” (that fucking word again) the firmness of his voice was the only thing keeping my chest from swelling, “it doesn’t sound like an ideal course of action when you’ve almost got yourself a new boyfriend,” he reasoned calmly, somber responsibility lacing his tone.

“It’s not cheating if we’re not official,” I protested instantly, furrowed brows and a pout. He snorted.

“That’s not what I meant, princess.” My lips pursed at the jolt the nickname gave me. “I don’t want sex clouding your judgement. I get Rivers isn’t your boyfriend, but you shouldn’t exclude him as a possibility just because you’ve started thinking you have feelings for me.”

“Besides being a poet, you’ve turned into a psychologist, too,” I exclaimed with a genuinely cheerful chuckle that made him quirk a brow. Something in my throat shrivelled up. “Don’t dwell on my feelings too much, asshole,” I reassured. “I like this because it’s something new, not because I’m head over heels in love with you.” I was still chuckling as he sipped on his tea and fixed me with one of those firm looks that had the ability to bend the knees. The effect was doubled in intensity this morning.

“Make your choice then,” he said boredly, not wishing to be too imperious, seeing as the situation wasn’t taking place in a formal setting where he was the boss and I was the indecisive underling. I might as well have been, with how hot my ears got while I held his gaze, brave and stupid in the face of somebody who read me better than I sometimes read myself.

“I’m not saying it out loud,” I muttered, bashful. The ebony-haired intern watched me struggle before tilting his head to the side with a fake air of oblivion.

“Then I won’t know what you want,” he said innocently, attempting to mock my shyness and what was more – succeeding. I burned bright red, feeling heat creep up my neck and my glare was pointed and uncontrolled. It couldn’t pass as mere annoyance because Levi was hitting a nerve.

“I didn’t see you having a hard time knowing everything I wanted last night, but okay.” There was more spite than sass in the sentence, which only further conveyed my inability to stay nonchalant – something that clearly amused him. “I want us to… keep going. Satisfied?” Crossed arms, downcast gaze and a childish pout. I was the live embodiment of the word petulance and Levi wasn’t done having fun with it.

“Not as satisfied as I clearly left you.” He was smirking and I glared at him, furious and not knowing where the blood would go when there was no space left in my head. I hopped off my chair, turning my back to him and hearing how he moved to stand behind me. A well-meaning hand landed on my shoulder. “It was a joke, princess, there’s no need for the cold shoulder.” His tone was flat and disinterested, but there was a pacifying sliver. He might’ve been trying to make peace but I wouldn’t have it after all the embarrassment he put me through – just to have a good private laugh, too!

“Un-fucking-bearable, that’s what you are,” I hissed, brushing his hand off my shoulder and heading to the staircase in order to escape. He gave chase and set on ignoring the usual code that forbade touchy-touchy when unneeded. The pure and unfiltered imagination one must have in order to picture a shirtless Greek God chasing after a poorly dressed eighteen-year-old spoiled brat was too ambitious a requirement for anybody to fulfil. Turn to mythology for that, but it’s inappropriate there and this one meant well.

“I’ll stop embarrassing you if that’s what you want.” His hands were on my shoulders. He turned me around and I didn’t look at him, much less respond. He could sense I was ashamed. His hands slowly trailed down over my arms to hold my wrists in a grip I could, with effort, free myself from. “Does the mere mention of sex with no context whatsoever embarrass you, princess?” He knew it did, leaning forward with twinkling eyes and a complacent half-smile. “Your face is red.”

“And you’re a fucking genius, congratulations,” I spat with sarcastic disgruntlement. He pulled me forward so that I bumped into his chest. My shoulders jumped in surprise. I didn’t want to look him in the eye but the sight of the marks I’d left on him were no less embarrassing to behold. My heart sped up and I was pouting, flush against him with nowhere to go.

“It speaks,” he whispered by my ear. His hands retraced their steps over my arms and shoulders, gently gliding against the sides of my neck until they held my face. “Does it want to go up to my room?” Blue specks in a pool of melted silver. The question was genuine, in spite of being masked with slight mockery. The adult of us two. I tried to stay mad, but it was impossible. I promised the blue specks I’d count them later and then we were kissing. It was a funny picture – the whole of this situation – ridiculous but somehow not fictional. It was him lifting me off the floor and me wrapping my legs around him. It was him making step after step, steady and careful not to drop me while I snickered into his mouth. It was me being a literal koala and then it was us, hearing the jingle of keys.

“Shit,” I cursed, parting from him with a smack. He let go and I could catch only a glimpse of the panic on his face before I was running up the stairs. I’d barely closed the door behind us when I heard my mother greeting the empty kitchen downstairs. While I breathed out in relief, Levi was already heading to the balcony. It occurred to me that there was a pack of condoms on my nightstand and they were stolen. I’d need to make a trip to the pharmacy and replace the box. Talk about inconvenient. “Careful now,” I piped while the intern was preparing to make the jump, “we don’t want you to fall.” He gave me a half-hearted glare but said nothing.

When he was gone, I plopped down on my bed and grinned incredulously at the ceiling. This “secret sex” thing we were about to dive into wasn’t how I’d imagined the weeks prior to my first year in university, but oh, well. Expect the unexpected and if unable to – just accept it. This officially marked the beginning of my longest stay in City of Dumbassery. It was surprising, however, that I wasn’t alone in there. Twice as surprising that I’d be stuck with my father’s intern. Whom I was having sex with. Amazing. Spectacular. Asshole-me would have my ass for that.

tag list: @unloved-cadillac ; @donaldthrts

#mtij #levi x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #x reader #levi ackerman imagine #reader insert #levi ackerman x reader #it finally happened #all i'm going to say: i wrote the actual sex scene while editing the rest of the chapter because i was too bashful in the past lol #sure hope it's not worse than the vague three paragraphs of the past #levi is a literal king who preaches consent and safe sex and nobody will change my opinion #also our drama queen is entering a brand new arc of her life #beware: storm incoming

7 notes · View notes

ketamollykaine · 3 months

Text

Midnight City: Dove

Tonight(demo) - Amira Elfeky

Don’t be afraid to lose. Don’t worry if it doesn’t turn out exactly how you want. The truth is you won’t ever know what’s coming until it arrives.

The everpresent fog that surrounded the small lake town dusted over the small mountain behind the shore. A long, straight road ran adjacent to the water between a narrow line of houses and trees. The houses that sat among the mountain lit up the fog, otherwise they weren’t present in the gloomy world. Some days one couldn’t tell the water from the shore. Everything about the town was old and stagnant, never changing. The red shack on the water’s edge has always been a bar, the liquor store across the street has always been covered in moss, the houses never seemed to evolve with the people coming in and out. Eventually all newcomers had left, leaving the original townspeople to their isolated lives. Sometimes those who’d moved away from the fog would return.

Dove let out a shaky sigh as she packed the last of her things into her grandmother’s van. She, her boyfriend, brother, and grandmother stood outside in the parking lot of the apartment Dove was now leaving. She grabbed her boyfriend’s hand and brought him back into the building for a final moment of privacy, she knew she wouldn’t be seeing him again.

“I’m going to miss you, Sean.” Dove quietly whimpered into his chest. Sean held her close, rubbing her back.

“This isn’t forever, we can still see each other and move in together again one day, but you need to get better. We both need to get better.” Sean reasoned.

The couple had seen much better days to say the least. The last few months dealt several blows of trauma to both of them. Dove suffered two miscarriages within a few months and fell into a deep depression and spiraled into addiction. Sean, being a former addict himself, went down the same spiral as Dove when she started to use cocaine and alcohol. She became a heartless, pitiful mess. She lashed out angrily at everything that brought reality back to her, often spewing her poison at the one she loved the most. Sean always tried his best, but his addiction to crack and fentanyl left him a paranoid shell of who he once was. Their codependency ruined them.

On the drive back to her family’s home, Dove mourned the life she was leaving behind but was beginning to feel a small flame of hope for a better future. The highway surrounding them came to an intersection. Going straight led to a small city, and to the right was the road that ran along the lake. Even on a sunny day outside of the trees, the deeper into the town one went, the foggier it got. Dove sank into the comfort of the familiar fog. She could get lost in it, nobody would find her. She’s always had dreams of disappearing, maybe soon she’d actually do it. Soon the family arrived home and began to unpack.

Dove went up to her room, nothing had changed. All of the posters and paintings on the wall were still hung up, the bed was in the same place, and a few boxes of things she left behind were still in the corner. She didn’t bring much with her when she moved in with her boyfriend, so unpacking would be easy. The totes of clothes could be put back under the bed, her keyboard could stay downstairs, guitar goes in the corner of the room, and the wicker shelves would be set up exactly how she had them in the apartment. Her grimoires took up the 2nd to top shelf. Herbs, candles, crystals, among other supplies went on top. The middle shelf remained an altar. The second lowest shelf held books, sketchbooks and notebooks, and the bottom shelf held a bag of shoes and a basket of shells. The sea and water always brought her back to center.

Dove spent the next few months recuperating from addiction. She slept well, ate well, spent time outside, and was becoming happier. She could stand to go to work without a drop of alcohol in her system, but not without a little something to smoke. Going without weed was like a war crime to her; a complete violation of her personal Geneva Convention. At least she wasn’t hopped up on cocaine and starving while dancing half naked. She danced better when she was with Mary Jane anyways. After quitting hard drugs, Dove left a lot of relationships as well, leaving her in a lonely place. Getting better does come with a cost, but it didn’t cost her friendship with Laurissa. Laurissa would be there no matter what, despite her own addiction. The two were inseparable, they were seen everywhere together, often slept in the same bed, and wore each other’s clothes.

Eventually the new year came around. Dove hadn’t seen or heard from Sean since early December, but Laurissa was there. Until she wasn’t. In mid January, Laurissa was found dead in her apartment. Dove called and texted her like nothing had happened, but when she didn’t get any response by the end of the day, she grew worried and called again. This time the phone picked up with Laurissa’s mother on the line.

“Laurissa passed away this morning, I’m sorry,” She said. Dove dropped her phone and fell to her knees in the bathroom at work. Everything was gone. She sobbed alone in the stall until another dancer came in. Hearing Dove’s sobs, she whisked her away, downstairs to the locker room. Each dancer in the locker room slowly turned around, surprised to see the usually cheerful woman so broken down. They asked what was wrong, and she choked out that her best friend was dead. The women knew immediately and solemnly went back to getting ready.

On the way home, Dove silently cried in the back of the taxi, listening to the music she’d listen to with Laurissa. She got out at the package store, bought a bottle of vodka and walked the rest of the way home. Stumbling up the back steps, she began to cry. It was late, so she didn’t have to worry about her family seeing her relapse. An overwhelming feeling of emptiness enveloped her, and back in the abyss she went.

There was this ritual that she had been wanting to try, but due to the danger involved, she never started it. She was too scared to lose her loves. Now, with nothing to lose, Dove was free to try to make it into Midnight City. Luckily for her, the next morning happened to be Saturday with a new moon on the horizon.

Dove stumbled into her room and dug under her bed for the box she put together when she initially planned on going through with the ritual. It had all the herbs, woods, resins, minerals, the mercury, chalice and cauldron, candles, sigils, athame, black clothes, and the veil. She smiled at it with tears in her eyes and put it on her night stand, then got ready for bed.

The next morning, Dove acted normal, she didn't tell anyone what happened the night before. It's best if they don't know anything is wrong, they'd pester her to talk and then lecture her on how she can't let this horrible event make her relapse. She went downstairs to grab a protein shake to drink while doing her morning stretches. The sunrise was surprisingly colourful for the fog that covered most of the sky. The form of suicide yet to come soothed every bit of sadness, anger, and fear out of Dove. Every movement she made was serene. Freedom was on the horizon.

She passed the day in her room, talking with her chosen ancestors through her tarot cards. She felt her heart for what it wanted, racked her brain for what it wanted, and searched her soul for what it wanted. Her answer: "I don't want to be lonely anymore".

The sun began to set as Dove finished eating dinner with her family. She put her dishes in the sink and said goodnight to everyone. This would be the very last time they'd see her. For her shower, she figured she'd go as fresh as possible. She gathered a fresh razor, baby oil, lotion, a facial set, her regular skin care, a dry brush, a sugar scrub, shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. She left the shower without a hair out of place and perfect skin. By the time she was finished, her platinum hair dried in waves and she smelled of vanilla. She braided her hair and put on simple makeup before returning to her room to put on her ritual clothing.

Opening the box, Dove picked out and put on the black underwear, socks, and bra, then the cropped t shirt, leggings, cargo pants, a grommet belt, a hoodie, and denim jacket. She looked in the mirror while placing the veil on, she draped it over her head like a pashmina, familiar with the rave style. It was almost time to start the ritual.

At 11:36 Dove walked down the road to the crossroads and began to set the space. She drew the circle, a line halfway through, a door above the line, and 12 notches encompassing her. She set the sigils down and the candles above them, blessing the candles in the name of the spirits they've been set for. Once every candle was lit, the temperature dropped but there was no wind, the spirits have begun to pay attention.

Dove, knowing the risks of inter dimensional ritual work set protections for years leading up to this moment, but felt as some wards shattered and circles of white light went out. Darkness is the only way Midnight City can be reached. Many creatures mingle in the chaos.

She walked the circle 12 times and sat in the center before the small cauldron. In the box laid pouches with each ingredient labelled and numbered. First, she poured the alcohol into the chalice as libation for the spirits, and then she took a generous sip for herself. Pouch number one, acacia wood and matches. Dove put the wood in the cauldron, lit a few matches and set the wood on fire, she added the fluffier dried herbs, hyssop and Dittany of Crete. She then built the fire with black walnut, and added bat's head root. Dove shuddered while looking at the next item, the athame. She'd have to cut herself and get a good amount of blood to put on the Jezebel Root.

Dove took a breath, grabbed the athame and pulled down her sleeve. She turned her arm and pushed the tip of the blade under the side of her wrist and dragged it down an inch. She gasped in pain, dropped the blade and grabbed the Jezebel Root, smearing her blood on as her signature. Into the fire went her life force, and then Job's Tears, and finally Balm of Gilead Tears. The fire smelled sweet and of incense. It burned out quickly, and into the cauldron went graveyard dirt, diatomite, and road opening oil. Dove smoothed the mix of ashes, resin, dirt, rocks, and oil into a flat plane for the mercury to sit on.

The candles around her began to flicker, some flame grew, others dimmed but never went out. Dove's focus had to remain on the surface of the mercury. Staring into the liquid mirror, she chanted, "Bathin, lead me to the city. Seere, see me to my wishes, mark me abundant. Bifrons, mark me intelligent in your realms. Murmur, bring to me the souls I wish to see. Malphas, act on behalf of my pains. Gremory, speak to me of the past and beyond."

The demons watched from the shadows, her ancestors watched from behind her. The trance took over and onto the door Dove walked. In a blink she was gone forever from that reality. Now her soul was in custody of Midnight City. She smiled awakening on the other side and began to walk confidently. Dove could feel the presence of her ancestors, she picked her strongest and savviest, they could make it just the same as her. The creatures in the city lurked, trying to find the new spirits; they were hungry.

Some familiar spirits didn't have as much fortitude as Dove thought and began to put off an odor of fear. The other stronger ones quelled the fears of the meek to ward off the monsters. The walk was still easy, but an ancestor who was a remarkable psychic pointed out the sticks in the path and how to avoid them. Some fears were covered up by the confidence of others, but the sticks were hardwired to try to set off a trap. Minutes became an hour, an hour became two, two became 3, and 3 became countless hours. The group of spirits trudged on, Dove became tired and weary. So close to the finish line she was, but that's where the darkest of monsters crept. For the deities, this sacrifice was an entertaining game to watch.

The six spirits could see Dove approaching, overjoyed at her successful pilgrimage, but one demon had a trick up his sleeve. Malphas whisked away from the group, leaving a shell in his place. He whispered to a lost soul to walk forward and grab the first spirit they find.

Just as Dove saw the light approaching, a lost soul ran forward and grabbed the ancestor of her great great grandmother, known for being hard to break. She screamed and the game was over. Dove ran to the light and left the ancestors behind in the beginning feeding frenzy of monsters and lost souls. She ran into a light that was running from her and suddenly she fell. Down, down, down she fell, screaming the whole way down. She landed on the hard ground. The minutes of falling suddenly felt like none, and that she had just fallen face forward onto the ground.

Alone again. Dove was all alone again. She fell to her knees and sobbed, not caring if any monster was coming to rip her to shreds. Nothing came, but she wasn't alone. Seere watched from above and flew down to her side, bringing with him a candle.

"Poor thing," he whispered, grabbing her shoulder. "I thought you'd make it. You've been lonely your whole life. Every bit of stability has been ripped away from you. Nothing you did seemed to be right, and for that you paid consequences you didn't deserve. You've been abused and trespassed on. You've met failure too many times, but you're not meant to kiss Death yet." Dove kept her eyes on the ground, quiet tears dripping into the dirt. She saw hooves and the silhouette of wings behind the candle light.

"You've suffered too much, I'd like to make a deal. You're lonely and have been searching your whole life for a loyal community, and so have we in this realm. You will gain your people and partial freedom from this realm in exchange for returning to the dark city when called. You are now a creature that lurks in this night, but when you wake you will be surrounded by your new family." Seere looked down to Dove's motionless, expressionless body before waking her up and disappearing.

7 notes · View notes

hglights · 4 months

Text

did you hear the latest scoop ? we’ve got a new student joining us ! a little birdie told me that they’re called ARIYA SUWANNARAT, but they kinda remind me of NICHA YONTARARAK (MINNIE) — don’t ‘cha think ? you’re probably thinkin’ they’re just another 25 year old in their FIFTH year of some BACHELOR'S DOUBLE DEGREE IN PAINTING AND SCULPTURE, but wait ‘till you hear about their PSYCHIC ENERGY MANIPULATION ! nifty, huh ? probably good to know, especially ‘cause i heard they’re HOUSE HAETAE’s new VICE-CAPTAIN ! they’re pretty PERCEPTIVE on nullivi, but you should watch out for their HEDONISM just in case ! anyway — if you wanna check them out, i heard they’re staying at the RED HALL. oops ! you didn’t hear that one from me ! ༊*·˚

hey, this is autumn (she/her, 21+) again, aka the mun for @moonvitas as well! this time i bring you a revamped old muse that has decided bother me until i brought her in, sighs. this is ariya suwannarat, the princess daughter of a super rich couple. her dad is the ceo of one of the biggest conglomerates in thailand and her mom is a famous actress which means that considering how she was born an anomaly, she ended up sheltered a lot, lived off nullivi in public events until she learned how to control her powers properly after a lot of headaches and nosebleeds. then she's sent to sua esp because of her (one-sided) bad relationship with her brother but she isn't too mad about it and is just trying to enjoy that for once she doesn't have her family breathing down her neck. as usual, here is her profile and under the cut more about her + plot ideas!

i. past

so-- as said before dad is big rich business man and mom is a famous actress, dad is also an anomaly but since he has some psionic power that can be kept very lowkey (or maybe he has great control over it, who knows), he managed to fly under the radar while mom is just a normal human being, no super powers unfortunately. they're a fairly (and surprisingly) happy couple, a little like a love from fairytales.

(when, of course, you don't consider that dad's very lowkey psionic power has somewhat to do with emotion manipulation so take that as you will.)

either way! her older brother is raised as the heir of the family while ariya was the spoiled kid who only had to look pretty in front of the media but she always basically had everything that she wanted.

the catch is that 1 (one) she's an anomaly and her parents strongly believe it doesn't look good for their multi millionaire business, 2 (two) her brother is also an anomaly that basically can find out everything about a person (their memories, any knowledge that they have, their thoughts and wants as long as the person is aware of them, etc etc) with a touch and 3 (three) he's super paranoid about the inheritance of the business and thinks that, even though he's 12 years older than her, that she's ready to backstab him at any moment and get that ceo spot for herself.

which isn't true; she just wants to live as carefree as her heiress life will let her.

so, yeah-- she was very hidden sheltered, using nullivi in any and all public events with her family and even those she was rarely seen just in case. at home she was forced incentivized to practice her powers to better hide control them so she could join the rest of her family as unregistered anomalies.

her brother, though, used this as an excuse to check up on her all the time with his powers. it was still fun because it got her to train her psychic energy absorption so in the end it was a win-win.

her brother who also out-ed her as an anomaly after she graduated high school and it was a whole scandal for a while since he was scared that she'd take any degree relating to business or whatever. she put her best i don't know anything face and eventually was let off with a slap on her wrist.

that's why she's sent to sua with a very far away from business degree to ease the tensions at home (and at her dad's business) and honestly she's living the best life, not really focusing too much on her academic achievements unless one particular class she genuinely enjoys because she's fully relying on her family's money to support her when she eventually lives off of her art.

ii. personality

at first glance a bimbo, at a second glance a cunning little bitch 💅

now more seriously. she gives off a very airhead vibe, taking everything at face value and someone who doesn't think too far ahead besides what she wants in the moment and is very inconsequential

the personification of the "only here to have fun✌️" but that makes her very friendly and easy to be around, even if a little hedonistic help ksdjhf has very questionable (selfish) morals, she's also very playful/teasing so a little of gojo satoru vibes from jjk (i'm so sorry @/jjk fans SDFKJHK).

i'd say girl next door energy but then she also gives off rich girl vibes, doesn't know the value of money (i.e. give expensive gifts to people like she's offering a sip of her water bottle. your laptop of sixteen years just broke? here, a brand new macbook pro: one in each color because she wasn't sure which one you liked the best). she just had lots and lots of it her whole life and has yet to go through the shock or reality that will make her more aware of her financial privileges.

is much smarter than she looks and is paying much more attention to the people and what is happening around her than she lets on esp as a consequence of trying to make her brother chill and now she doesn't know if that's a bad habit or part of her personality, nor she cares really.

that's why she can also be a little sly/cunning sometimes towards people because she sort of learned that's the way to get things that she wants, but she also genuinely cares for people and wants everyone to have a good time like her.

even if sometimes she can feel like she's a little detached because of her free spirit nature, like it's hard for her to mourn over friendships and relationships (for long anyway) since she truly believes that everyone is going to pass at some point so she's there to enjoy them while they can.

is fluent in korean at this point but sometimes still pretends to play dumb just to get out of some conversations or even arguments.

the kind of person that has a lot of friends but not a lot of friends friends.

very chill but loves loves loves the rallies because she thinks it's fun to find new ways to use her powers/to be able to use them freely and she isn't truly competitive about it even though she does take some fun in riling up the other houses and pretending that she is.

iii. plots

rich friends ! considering how much rich people like to network, i'm sure that she has been to seoul a couple of times for vacation or for some important gala. or the opposite! whenever your muse (and their family) were on bangkok, they always ended up hanging out with each other

red hall people ! she loves the idea of all girls being tight-knit with each other and she does think it's fun to play sorority!! so she's there!!! for her sisters!!! either to help them doing things that they want to try but are too scared to do so or if they need to cry over their asshole ex with or some comfort because you were the shitty ex or anything!! at all!!

haetae members ! she's a great vice-cap during rallies but not so much out of them JDHSFKJH either way!! she's always willing to hear any strategies/thoughts fellow haetae members might have about the next rallies or if they want to do any sort of bonding exercises (like movie nights, etc etc)

gangcheori members ! she was from that house just last year but then changed to haetae when haetae offered her the vice cap position and she thought it'd be fun so here she is. maybe someone who thinks it's good riddance that she changed houses KJHSDK or someone who feels betrayed because she not only left but joined another house or maybe someone who wants her back on gangcheori and has been trying to convince her to come back

fellow party lovers ! wouldn't be surprised if she ends up more in blue hall than her own dorm KJHSKJF but either way! maybe someone that she only vibes with during parties but outside of it there's no reason for the two of them to spend time together which could either be ok between the two of them or one could be trying to change that and start hanging out outside of parties too.

exes / crushes / fwbs ! she's very.... carefree about her love/s*xual life, a little too weak for pretty faces so she falls in love as easily as she falls out of it. i also can imagine she ends up sleeping around a lot??? or maybe she's the reason why you have trust issues because one moment she seemed so in love and committed and in the other she was breaking up with you because she didn't like you anymore (yikes).

tba as i think of them!

#nm:intro #ooc.

13 notes · View notes

yandere-daze · 2 years

Note

Regarding the self aware AU ask that mentioned there are some characters who feel too normal made me remember certain things about some character. And you’re right, not all characters would be extreme but I also don’t think that makes all of them quite tame either.

For example, Trickstar in the main story of ! era were known to be extremely overbearing in wanting to protect Producer. Hokuto especially, thinking it was his job to watch after her got viably paranoid to some level when they weren’t around (doesn’t help she was kidnapped by the twins once). And since Subaru was tasked to spend a whole week with producer as his training, he also managed to become somewhat clingy in this timeframe. They aren’t necessarily harmful (unless you count for the Subaru brought a metal bat when going went to talk to Kuro or constantly make jokes about blowing the stuff up) but TS was fairly intense on keeping the producer by their side becoming stressed when she wasn’t around. Makoto & Mao also had some strange quirks but Hokuto was commented on a lot of having stress around producer that seemed to become more intense the longer the main story continued. I’m sure if you were to be projected into their world or in general via playing, TS would become just as clingy and worried about you.

Similarly, Adonis, yes, isn’t a violent person. He isn’t going to go out of his way to hurt someone or anything, even to the point I don’t think he’d ever kidnap you but you will find yourself with a huge, clingy, protective Adonis. He is known for becoming intense with the idea of protecting others to the point it can come off as forceful, easily jumping to conclusions in varies situations, and willing to put himself in danger for the sake of protecting others. Adonis wouldn’t be like a traditional Yandere or even unhinged, but I do think he has a place as a self sacrificing and overprotective one who would deeply care about your safety in this ES world even more if you are similar to him and don’t know Japanese/the familiar with the nuances of the culture. And if we’re sticking to the idea of digital Adonis best be aware his fear of not being there to protect you likely would double through the screen since he can’t actually be there to make all your troubles go away.

Anyway, sorry Daze for the ramble, but I agree with what you said in answer! To some level there would likely be safer options but to another most would just be different rather than ‘better’ and would each come with challenges and flaws. It’s a lot of the mindset of “pick your poison carefully” as I think even the most normal of them have a hidden layer if they were pushed far enough.

OoOh thank you for this addition! Those are all really good thoughts! Yeah now that you mention it I do remember someone of Trickstar always walking home Anzu whenever it got late ( with Mao even sometimes being invited by her family to stay for dinner ldnab). And it honestly makes sense that they would all get really worried, considering that she was the first student in the producer course and how chaotic everyone at Yumenosaki truly is.

So yes, I actually do think that you´re right that they would also get clingy over the player and constantly worry about you. Hokuto is pretty normal and so he´s just constantly worrying that someone strange ( like Wataru) might come by and and take you away like the Aoi twins once did. I don´t see them going completely deranged like Izumi for example but they will be decently clingy and remind you of the fact that they were the first ones you produced for. You´ve known them longer than any of the other characters so it makes sense if you stick around them the most, right? They only want the best for you!

Adonis is also similar to that idea, I think. You explained it really well in your ask so I don´t think I have anything else to add on to that. He´s a big softie around you but he just worries about you a lot and wants you to be safe!

In the end, all you can do at Ensemble Square is to *try* to find a yandere that is more "manageable" if you aren´t able to straight-up escape anymore. There are pros and cons to all of them so choose carefully! People like Mika or Mayoi are more unhinged but you would have an easier time manipulating them to do what you want because they´re just so obsessed with pleasing you.

Meanwhile you could get a not-so-creepy protective yandere but they´re probably not as delusional so they wouldn´t always bend to your will if they think that you´re putting yourself in danger.

Well, I think you said it best. "Pick your poison carefully"

#yandere ensemble stars #yandere enstars #yandere ensemble stars x reader #yandere enstars x reader #trickstar #hokuto hidaka x reader #yandere hokuto hidaka x reader #yandere adonis otogari x reader #adonis otogari x reader #ensemble stars self aware au #yandere self aware ensemble stars au #yandere self aware au #gn reader #yandere #cw yandere #cw obsession #yandere x reader

99 notes · View notes

twoidiotwriters1 · 7 months

Text

Daughter of Olympus (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: Halloween is coming how are we feeling? -Danny Words: 2,598 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter / Next Chapter Listen to: 'Take Care Of Yourself' -by Maisie Peters

XV. No I Don't Make Sense, Stop Asking

Lily knows it's crazy to blame my brother, and she agrees that trying to kill me was definitely not right, Nico isn't entirely innocent.

However, she considers Percy isn't good enough if he can't keep a younger girl from dying, which of course I argue against, but she ignores it. She drops her crush on my brother and decides to focus on my training.

"You won't fail," she says as she plans out our new schedule. "If Nico's set his mind on avenging Bianca, you can't stay as weak as you are now."

"Thanks," I scoff.

"He's a big three kid, you're not even the daughter of a war god," Lily raises a brow. "Ask Percy to train you during your free time in New York, visit as often as you can—"

"We don't even know where Nico is or what he plans to do!"

"If he comes for you," Lily presses. "I can't help you. Hades is my patron, I can't fight his son! I need you to be an excellent warrior. Please, can you do it for me?"

No one has ever worried for my well-being like this, except Percy. After Nico's vague threat, he gets a little paranoid and thinks Nico will hunt me down when no one's looking.

I think everyone's overreacting. Nico and I are friends!

"Oh, no way," Leo exclaims as he enters the hunter's tent. "We've been sitting in a cave and you get the luxury tent? Somebody give me hypothermia. I want hot chocolate and a parka!"

Phoebe sneers at Leo. "Boys."

"Easy, Pheebs," Ara walks in grinning. "I answer for these boys, they don't bite."

"General Jackson," Phoebe glances at Ara's bandaged hand. "It's good to see you're out in the field again."

"Feels good to be back."

"They'll need extra coats," Thalia lists as she enters. "And I think we can spare some chocolate."

While the boys change and drink, Ara makes sure her scratches, bruises, and burns are nothing to worry about. "Did you fight with your bare hands this whole time?" Thalia teases her. "It's lucky Artemis blessed you! What's with all the wounds?"

"Let's see..." Ara counts with her fingers. "We fought cyclops, sorceresses, a werewolf, the nemean lion..."

"But we killed that one!"

"They're coming back," she replies gravely. "And faster than before, too. I don't know what's happening, things don't stay dead now."

Thalia's alarmed by the news, but she tries to play it cool. "But you handled it like a champ, huh?" She points at the pelt next to Piper. "You did that?"

Ara makes a face. "I wasn't going to. I tamed him but then Medea—"

"Tamed it?" Phoebe raises a brow. "You tamed the Nemean lion?"

The girl shrugs. "I wanted to give it a try and it worked."

Thalia laughs and turns to Jason. "You can trust Ara to go above and beyond to keep anyone safe. I mean, look at her, should be enough proof, huh?"

"We can't thank her enough," Jason nods with lots of gratitude. "She's already brought me back from the dead once."

"In that case, I should thank her too," Thalia pats her shoulder roughly. "We're all pleasantly surprised to see how far you've come, Birdy."

Ara stares down at her feet, she's thinking of Michael again.

"We need to strengthen your... Everything. You're so small, Ara," Mike says disapprovingly. "Try to eat more, get those gummies that are vitamins—and Calcium, if your bones start to fracture and we don't realize until it's too late—"

"Can you teach me how to do that?" I interrupt him.

Michael looks up. "What?"

"Healing," I clarify. "So I don't have to come here every time I hurt myself."

"First of all, if you're hurt please come to me. You're no Apollo," he frowns. "Second... I guess I should... just in case..."

I squirm eagerly on my seat. That's one more lesson added to my training. "I'll be so such a good quester, carrying all sorts of stuff in the teddy bag Percy got me."

My friend snorts. "Sounds good, tiny."

"Don't call me that," I frown. "We're the same height."

"I'm a year older, so I have every right to—"

I throw the unused bandages at his face, and he laughs.

"You guys are really good at this wilderness survival thing. I feel like I could run ten miles," Piper smiles.

"She's tough for a child of Aphrodite. I like this one," Thalia grins.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ara scowls. "I'm her sister!" She blushes. "I mean..."

Thalia laughs. "You got great instructors and lots of practice, so it's not that surprising you turned out great. Sorry, Birdy."

Then why is everyone at camp acting as if I'm going to fail?

"Hey, I could run ten miles too," Leo blurts out. Ara's not sure who he's trying to impress right now. "Tough Hephaestus kid here. Let's hit it."

Ara picks up her pelt, stares at it pensively, and then hands it to Thalia. "For Artemis. She answered my prayers. It was really good to see a friendly face."

Thalia grabs the pelt. "I know it's no use to ask but... Are you sure?"

"I don't want to be reminded of my failures, and I'm sure you'll find a good use for it..."

"You slay the Nemean lion and call it a failure. You've always been a weirdo," Thalia hands the pelt to Phoebe. "Thank you, it's a very special offering."

"For a special group of people," Ara wishes they didn't have to part ways, being around Thalia almost feels like having Percy back. But that's the key word, "almost" isn't enough.

When they leave the tent, Ara has no problem keeping up with the hunters, but the rest of her group does.

"Come on, Valdez! Pick up the pace!" Hedge urges the boy. "Let's chant. I've got a girl in Kalamazoo—"

"Let's not," Thalia snaps.

Ara nudges the girl's shoulder and nods in Jason's direction. "You took the news well, I thought you'd make the sky go boom..."

"Part of me always knew he was somewhere out there..." Thalia sighs. "Even if I convinced myself that I would never see him again, it felt as if I'd been looking all this time..."

Ara thinks she understands the feeling. In the back of her mind, she's constantly trying to figure out a way to get to Percy.

"I just wish, you know... that I had searched for him harder..."

"I mean, not even he knows where he's been this whole time," Ara shrugs. "I don't think he resents you."

"Which reminds me..." Thalia raises a brow. "You got all weird when we started talking about the Romans..."

Ara opens her mouth to reply, but then Thalia stops and Leo crashes against her. Thalia has to steady him but she's looking forward, and when Leo follows her eyes he yelps. "That... is a really large rock."

"Is that..." Ara squints. "A bridge?"

"We're not seriously crossing that," Leo looks at her in alarm.

"I'm not a big fan of heights, I'll admit," Thalia makes a face. "But if you want to get to Aeolus's fortress, this is the only way."

"Is the fortress always hanging there?" Piper asks. "How can people not notice it sitting on top of Pikes Peak?"

"The Mist," Ara and Thalia reply.

"Still, mortals do notice it indirectly," Thalia continues. "Some days, Pikes Peak looks purple. People say it's a trick of the light, but actually it's the color of Aeolus's palace, reflecting off the mountain face."

"It's enormous," Jason says in awe.

"You should see Olympus, little brother."

"You're serious? You've been there too?"

"Always uninvited," Ara muses.

"We should go across in two different groups," Thalia suggests. "The bridge is fragile."

"That's reassuring. Jason, can't you just fly us up there?" Leo asks.

Thalia laughs, but when she notices no one else is, she stops smiling. "Wait... Jason, you can fly?"

"Well, sort of. More like I can control the winds. But the winds up here are so strong, I'm not sure I'd want to try. Thalia, you mean... you can't fly?"

She grimaces. "Truthfully, I've never tried. Might be better if we stuck to the bridge."

"I love bridges," Ara says sarcastically. "Definitely never had a bridge break when I most needed it. Never."

Thalia gives her a look that clearly means. "You're not helping."

"Easy!" Hedge dives right in. "I'll go first. Piper, come on, girl. I'll give you a hand."

"No, that's okay—"

The satyr doesn't let her finish the sentence before dragging her up the steps. Everyone stands there keeping an eye on the two until they're halfway up.

"Phoebe, I'll be back soon. Go find the others. Tell them I'm on my way," Thalia orders.

"You sure?" Phoebe glances at the boys like they're criminals. She's not so far away from the truth, but Ara doesn't think now's the time to mention it.

"It's fine."

Phoebe looks at Ara and salutes her. "General. Hopefully, we'll see each other again."

Ara nods. "Look after yourself, Pheebs."

"Jason, Leo, just be careful where you step," Thalia warns the boys as they start moving. "It hardly ever breaks."

They move in silence until Leo blurts out a question.

"Why do they have a bridge?"

Ara looks over at the boy. Behind him, Thalia holds onto the railing tightly. "Leo, this isn't a good place to stop. What do you mean?"

"They're wind spirits. Can't they fly?"

"Yes, but sometimes they need a way to connect to the world below."

"So the bridge isn't always here?"

"The wind spirits don't like to anchor to the earth, but sometimes it's necessary. Like now. They know you're coming."

"Leo?" Jason glances up at his hair in alarm. "What are you thinking?"

"Oh, gods," Thalia gasps. "Keep moving. Look at your feet."

Leo's head is on fire. His feet are melting the steps.

"Leo, stop it—You're going to melt it," Jason insists worryingly.

"I'll try," his voice comes out as if he's not processing what's happening. "Listen, Jason, what did Hera call you in that dream? She called you a bridge."

"Leo, seriously, cool down. I don't what you're talking about, but the bridge is—"

"Just listen," he interrupts the hunter. "If Jason is a bridge, what's he connecting? Maybe two different places that normally don't get along—like the air palace and the ground. You had to be somewhere before this, right? And Hera said you were an exchange."

"An exchange," Thalia's eyes go back to Ara, who's frozen on the spot. "Oh, gods."

"What are you two talking about?" Jason scowls, looking at his sister.

Thalia's eyes are fixed on her. "I understand now why Artemis sent me here. Jason—she told me to hunt for Lycaon and I would find a clue about Percy. You are the clue. Artemis wanted us to meet so I could hear your story."

"I don't understand! I don't have a story. I don't remember anything."

"But Leo's right," Thalia frowns. "It's all connected. If we just knew where—"

Leo snaps his fingers, the flames in his hair rise. "Jason, what did you call that place in your dream? That ruined house. The Wolf House?"

Thalia gasps. "The Wolf House? Jason, why didn't you tell me that! That's where they're keeping Hera?"

"You know where it is?"

"Stop!" Ara's looking at the pool that's forming around Leo's feet. "Thalia, don't encourage him!"

Leo's feet melt the surface and he falls, Jason seizes him by the coat and tosses him at Ara, she drags him up while Jason runs right behind them. Thalia doesn't follow them, Ara guesses she got paralyzed with fear, and of course, if she had to choose, she would choose the hunters.

"Go!" Thalia shouts. "Find out where the giant is keeping Piper's dad. Save him! I'll take the Hunters to the Wolf House and hold it until you can get there. We can do both!"

"But where is the Wolf House?" Jason yells back.

"You know where it is, little brother! I'll see you there. I promise..." Thalia runs back into the woods and vanishes out of sight.

Ara drags Leo up all the way, Jason has to pick them up and fly from time to time because the bridge is crumbling. Once they reach the top, Piper and Hedge pull them in. Ara and Leo stumble to the ground.

"What happened?" Piper frowns, helping them untangle from each other. "Leo, why are your clothes smoking?"

"I got a little heated," he mumbles. "Sorry, guys. Honest. I didn't—"

"It's all right," Jason's unable to hide his distress. "We've got less than twenty-four hours to rescue a goddess and Piper's dad. Let's go see the king of the winds."

As they walk uphill, Ara keeps glancing at the blond boy. He looks a lot like Percy when he came back from Calypso's island. Lost, and overwhelmed. Ara holds out her hand to him. Jason hesitates, but he grabs it in the end.

Ara gets a mix of emotions: Disappointment, yearning, loneliness... she squeezes his hand, starting to absorb some of it to help him carry the burden. "You know..." she says quietly. "When I got claimed, all I wanted was to find my mortal parent. I figured that they had to be amazing if they'd caught Aphrodite's eye."

"And were they?"

"I don't know," she shrugs, dismissing the question. "The only thing I knew about him was that he'd named me. I thought he cared about me but he couldn't afford to keep me... then one day, I stumbled upon its meaning."

"Your name's meaning?" Jason asks. "What does Ara mean?"

"My name's Arae, not Ara," she looks ahead, it's the first time she doesn't cry while telling the story. "Means the same whether you spell it with the additional vowel or not, but Ara sounds better..."

"He called you Curse?" Jason is insulted on her behalf.

"He didn't want a kid," she explains calmly. "And I mean, I could change my name, I kinda did, but it's the one thing that's always belonged to me. Keeping it also comes with a prize, some people think I'm a bad omen—"

"You've been a blessing to us."

"I know I'm not all bad, Jason. I'm a child of Olympus because I deserve it, and I believe it because... no one else does." She faces him and holds his hand with both of hers. "Whatever Jason Grace means to you, whatever feels right, that's what you have to focus on. You're no bridge unless you want to be. "

Jason smiles and pats her shoulder, he feels a lot lighter now. "I'll try... as long as you promise me the same."

"Too bad, you can't demand things from your General," she replies jokingly.

Jason shrugs. "Wasn't a demand... more like, a request?"

The boy offers his pinky to her. Ara looks down at it, and thousands of flashbacks race through her mind: Percy, Michael, Lily, Beckendorf, Silena, Nico—

"Come on, cupcakes!" Ara gives a start at the sound of the satyr's voice. "Only a few thousand more steps!"

Both Leo and Piper are staring at them, but Jason and Ara play it cool and continue climbing. They don't go back to the subject, instead, Jason brings up a new awkward topic to discuss.

"So what's up with you and Leo?"

Ara avoids his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"C'mon. Even a blind cyclops would see it."

"I met Polyphemus," she raises a brow. "Could not see the difference between a spouse and breakfast."

"What?" Jason stops. "You mean the Polyphemus?"

"I know what you're implying, though," Ara ignores his question. "I don't want it to happen, but it's happening. If I can stall, I will. You follow me?"

Jason cocks his head to the side like a confused puppy. "No?"

Ara rolls her eyes and stops again. "Most of my old friends are dead and my brother's missing," she explains bluntly. "I'm not in the mood for romance."

"But you're feeling things anyway," the boy replies like she's not making sense.

"And I'll do my best to ignore it until it dies out. Or I die, whatever comes first."

Next Chapter ->

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @ash-the-hoarder @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen

#twoidiots writing #pjo fanfic #pjo hoo toa #pjo fandom #percy jackson and the olympians #leo valdez x oc #leo valdez fanfic #heroes of olympus #doo

7 notes · View notes

midnightstoriesblog · 2 years

Note

Hello! Thank you so much for writing the previous one! I really enjoyed it and I'm glad I'm able to request for more! You're already my favourite writer!

So you can expect my requests to be mainly Kind!Muzan, with slight changes here and there. I hope you don't mind!

Request would be:

Muzan overworking and stressed out. He's doing his absolute best to keep his demons, especially the children, safe. Unfortunately, he's sensitive to the things others (especially the humans) say about him.

He never shows how much it effected his self esteem. He slowly starts to doubt himself. Was he really being a good leader? Was he just playing with people's lives, like Yoriichi had said? Does his demons really love him? Do they talk behind his back?

Muzan grew anxious and tired as the days go by and his mask was slowly slipping away. His Kizukis started noticing this, and quickly became concerned for their Master.

Muzan was always affectionate only when the demons ask for it or need it, never when Muzan himself wanted it. Everything he does is for everyone else, never for himself.

In truth, Muzan loves affections. He just never outright ask or go for it. He waited until the person asks for it. These past few days, Muzan quietly tries to get some comfort and affection from his demons, trying to be subtle about it (it was noticeable after sometime).

This, of course, raises a lot of concerns. Their Master wasn't usually like this. What happened?

Maybe along the way Muzan breakdown when the thought he was alone (he wasn't, maybe someone walked in?).

What would the uppermoons do at that moment?

Thank you so much in advance! Have a great day don't overwork!

A/N: I don't mind!! I love the idea of a kinder version of Muzan, and writing about him is also feeding my Muzan brainrot :'] also thank you!! As always, this will include the 6 og upper moons and Nakime- but also a special additional character ;]

~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆

Kind!Muzan and affection troubles

Truth be told, not all the uppermoons realized the change in his behavior. They only realized because of Nakime, who, due to the fact that she's always in the infinity castle, picked up on this right when it started happening. Oddly enough, the one who noticed next was Rui. He was at the infinity castle to report the fact that he hadn't found the flower Muzan asked for yet- and during the conversation, Muzan pat his head reassuringly, before turning back to his research. He had always been affectionate to the kizukis, and he did act like a father for him- but physical affection was rare nonetheless. And so, he and Nakime sat together trying to figure out what exactly was happening to him.. And in the meantime, the uppermoons started noticing the difference too.

Daki was.. confused. She's not an expert at emotions, and since she still has the maturity of a 13 year old- Gyutaro was the one to understand the change in a way. Although, he certainly hadn't realized why it was happening, so he couldn't explain it to his sister. Instead, they mutually agreed to ask the other uppermoons if they noticed it, and if they knew that reason. Gyokko.. It's safe to say he didn't realise until the others brought it up. He has issues with understanding the reasons behind certain emotions and actions, so he thought that perhaps Muzan was simply growing even more fond of his art. He loved the attention nonetheless, but now that he realized that wasn't the reason, he grew curious.. Hantengu.. figured out the change oddly quickly. His emotions are extreme, so when it comes to things of that nature, he notices them. But he was quiet for a long time, because he was scared that he'd be wrong, and so he kept it to himself, until his peers brought it up Akaza was the one to bring it up first, because he's the one uppermoon who still has a good grasp on emotions. He had his hunches, at first he thought it was their master being paranoid that they'd be defeated too, as the lower moons were. But once he realized that everyone else was experiencing the same thing, he started piecing things together.. Douma, surprisingly, brought up the idea that Muzan could just be looking for affection from there. He regularly has to listen to the issues people have, and he's heard similar stories- to him, it wasn't that hard to figure out. It seems like his attempt to seem affectionate, and by extent, make him feel as cared for as he makes them feel. He made it his goal to change that now that it was more obvious. Kokushibou was oddly clueless as to how to approach the situation. It was truly unlike him, but he was never good at showing affection in the first place, so when he heard the others bring the masters weird behavior up.. He was internally embarrassed he hadn't noticed the change. He truly didn't know how to approach the situation, but knowing that the one he thought of as a brother could be going through something without anyone's support motivated him enough to call a meeting between the kizukis, now that everyone was more or less aware of the issue

So now you may be wondering, what did they decide to do to comfort their master, now that they had figured out what it was? Well, the answer is logical: they wanted to communicate with Muzan, and first reassure him that they are there for him just as he is here for them

So Kokushibou went to call him out to the meeting area and instead of seeing him as composed as he usually was, he was seemingly distraught, the only thing he could do was rush over to make sure his master was alright, even if any words that he might've had got caught in his throat. Muzan was surprised at the sight of what he considered his brother- he thought he was alone- why would anyone be searching for him at this time anyway?-..It's safe to say, instead of everyone talking with him at once, and risking overwhelming him, they decided to slowly adjust their actions so that they could show him how much he truly meant.

And now, for a fluffy bonus: what exactly would they change?

Daki tends to lean towards physical affection, or gossiping about other oirians in the entertainment district. Gyutaro tries to say jokes every now and often, thinking that it would help lighten the atmosphere, and turn it a bit more friendly Gyokko takes a more verbal approach to comfort and affection, and whether it's just chatting so the silence isn't overwhelming or talking about something specific, he'll gladly talk for hours Hantengu stuck to small acts of service beyond just missions, still quite shy about being outright affectionate, so he thought that it was a fitting alternative- it truly helped the two of them interact more, that's for sure Akaza was always there for Muzan emotionally, so he became the shoulder he could cry on if he needed to. Whenever he noticed signs of the master growing anxious, he started implying that they should talk about it between his words. Though he was more reluctant towards affection, comfort was something that never lacked in their interactions Douma started showing his more.. "sadistic" sense of humor- and you may be wondering how this would help- but it was a way of showing that there wasn't a need for a façade when they talked, a way of silently encouraging Muzan to let his guard down too. Besides that, Douma was quite a big fan of spending time with Muzan, being joined by Gyokko every now and then. And while Douma would take him out of his workspace to rest, there was someone else who would take over his work- -That person was none other than Kokushibou. Since he was now aware he wasn't the best at emotionally be there for his master, he'd help ease his burden of work, and at least split it into two, so overworking became unnecessary. Sometimes they would work together, side by side, so that Muzan could have some company, or he would spilt up the work beforehand (not taking any risks) and they would do their work separately Bonus!: Nakime checked in on him more often, not only to see his physical state but his emotional state too. She had never been that good with words, so when their master seemed to need cheering up, she brought in none other than Rui, who always managed to find a way to turn the situation around.

~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆

#kny #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kokushibo #muzan #douma #akaza #hantengu #gyokko #daki #gyutaro #nakime #rui kny #rui demon slayer

64 notes · View notes

taruchinator · 1 year

Text

💭 General Audiences

💭 3k Words

💭 For the #TWEWYSecretSanta2022 event!

A small platform was incorporated into the box as a stand for the plushies, which were all aligned perfectly next to each other and attached by yarn so that they wouldn't fall. Rhyme stared wide eyed at the variety, with Beat taking a few peeks here and there.

What immediately caught his attention was a particular doll at the very back.

The cat plushie wore a sleeveless purple tank top, white cargo shorts and a yellow wristband around it's tiny paw. But most telling of all, was what was placed on its head— felt-made purple headphones.

“Yo, Shiki. Is that supposed to be Phones?”

Greetings once more, dear friends! 👋

You'll be seeing lots of me in these few days all thanks to my love for joining events, even during the Holidays— such as this wonderful TWEWY Secret Santa! ❄

This story was created for @stumblynn, who wanted some BeatNeku and I'm always happy to deliver on that~ I really hope you like this one, since I had lots of fun with it!

Thank you to the mods of @twewysecretsanta for organizing this!

If there was one thing Beat didn't understand, it was fashion.

He was the type of guy who would stick to the basics and simply wear whatever he found most comfortable, not really caring for the way it looked. Sure, he had favorite shirts or sneakers with cool designs on them, but that was about it.

The entire industry from different brands, to what was ‘trending’, or what was considered fashionable was completely beyond him.

But considering that one of his best friends was a successful fashion designer, he figured he could always give it his best whenever she needed help. And this was one of those instances, even though technically he wasn't the one who was asked for assistance.

A few days earlier, his little sister Rhyme had gotten a text from Shiki asking if she could come to her home to give her opinion on a new line of toys she was working on— an exclusive lineup only available for the holidays.

Why would Shiki be making toys of all things? Because these would be Mr. Mew character themed plushies, and the brunette was mostly working on designing the clothes and accessories for each little cat doll.

Rhyme happily agreed, feeling excited to see Mr. Mew again along with other adorable doppelgangers. The only issue was that the brunette was only available in the evenings due to her tight working schedule, and Beat still had his reservations about letting his sister go out alone at night. The Reapers' Game was something that really helped in making one more paranoid than usual, after all.

Because of this, the youngest sibling asked Shiki if it would be alright for Beat to tag along, to which the Gatto Nero founder had agreed on instantly.

And so, that's how they ended up in their friend's apartment waiting for a Mr. Mew runway.

“Oh Shiki, this is so exciting! I can't wait to see what you came up with!” Rhyme's voice dripped with glee as she kept swinging her legs back and forth from the chair she was sitting on.

Beat couldn't stop the soft smile that spread across his face as he chuckled lightly. “Is good to know my little sister still likes this sorta stuff.”

A blush spread across the blonde girl's cheeks as she rolled her eyes and lightly punched her older brother's arm. “Of course I do! Shiki makes amazing things, plus I'm trying to be an objective customer here!”

The oldest chuckled once more as he raised his hands in defense. “Whateva you say, sis!”

“Alright you two, I appreciate the liveliness you bring to my home, but I believe someone is all set and ready for you!” Shiki's voice cut between the siblings as she finally returned from her sewing room, holding a large box with a white curtain covering the front and placing it as gently as she could on top of the coffee table.

Rhyme's attention was quickly brought back to the task at hand as she started clapping and smiling like a child on Christmas morning. “Yes! Let's do it!”

Both Beat and Shiki chuckled at the girl's enthusiasm. It was always so infectious. After a moment, the brunette proceeded to adjust her glasses and give a quick bow before her guests as she proudly presented the cardboard box. “Miss and gentleman! May I present Gatto Nero's very first and one of a kind— Mr. Mew Plush Winter Collection!”

As soon as the words left Shiki's mouth, she pulled back the curtain to reveal the dolls inside.

The inside of the box was decorated to look like an actual runway, adorned with wintery items such as snowmen and mistletoe in the background in the form of drawings. A small platform was incorporated as a stand for the plushies, which were all aligned perfectly next to each other and attached by yarn so that they wouldn't fall.

Rhyme stared wide eyed at the variety, with Beat taking a few peeks here and there.

He recognized some of the figures the cat was dressed as. A few from what he'd seen around Shibuya and others based on some of Rhyme's interests— he was also pretty sure he recognized a character from that one game Rindo liked thrown into the mix.

What immediately caught Beat's attention however, was a pair of plushies that remained in the back of the display.

These weren't as detailed as the ones on the front, most likely earlier versions of what Shiki had actually intended to do with the plush doll idea.

The first doll had a black beanie with a large skull imprint on the front. It's clothes consisted of a simple sleeveless white tank with loose light brown cargo pants, as well as what seemed to be tiny accessories like a chain necklace and spiky wristbands.

If he didn't know any better, Beat would think that Mr. Mew was dressed like him from a few years ago.

It was the second doll however, that made him stop and have to do a double take.

“Yo, Shiki. Is that supposed to be Phones?” The blonde stood from his seat on the couch and pointed at the Neku lookalike with wide eyes.

Shiki was caught off-guard for a moment— a confused look on her face, until she turned to where her friend was pointing, and a blush quickly spread across her cheeks as she giggled. “Oh! That's where I left those! Yeah, they're actually meant to be you and Neku.”

Rhyme leaned in to take a closer look, and let a smile grace her lips as she saw the dolls. “Aww, I can totally see the resemblance! The expressions are so on point, too~”

“Haha, I'm glad you think so! To get used to sewing clothes on a smaller scale, I tried starting with patterns I was familiar with.” The older girl picked up the Mr. Neku doll and tugged at the small wristband while giving a little wave. “Beat and Neku's outfits back then kinda got imprinted in my head, so it was a no brainer. Plus they were lots of fun to do as a warm up!”

“Well I think these look great for being warm ups!” Rhyme picked up the Mr. Beat plush and wiggled its arms around with a smile on her face, which in turn brought a smile to the teen's own face.

“You guys can have them, if you want! I was planning on you taking one as a thank you for your troubles, anyway.” Turning towards the older sibling, Shiki raised a questioning eyebrow as she held the Neku plush. “Not sure if you'd want this one though, so feel free to pick another, Beat!”

Taking one final look at the plushie in her hands, the blonde couldn't help but agree with his sister's earlier statement. The expressions were quite uncanny.

As he stared at the familiar grumpy face of Mr. Neku, Beat chuckled and gratefully took the doll from his friend's hands. “Nah, 'is cool! Wouldn't wanna ruin the set. He a cute little fella, anyway!”

Both Rhyme and Shiki exchanged looks at that statement, causing Beat to raise an eyebrow in confusion, until the words replayed in his head and red immediately covered his face. “I-I'm talkin' 'bout the doll, yo!”

“Sure you are, big brother~” Rhyme said in a sing-song voice, to which the brunette couldn't contain her giggles as Beat huffed in annoyance, cheeks still dusted with a hint of pink.

Moments like these really reminded him of the glory days from when he was an only child.

The Mr. Neku doll had come in handy more times than Beat cared to admit.

After searching for his best friend in the confines of the UG for more than two years, the blonde still had his fair share of nightmares recalling the traumatic experience of not only seeing him die in front of him over and over, but also picture scenarios in which he never found him in the first place and was still out there looking.

He tried keeping these to himself, especially from Rhyme since he didn't want to worry her— although he had a hunch that she already knew to some extent.

One night however, after waking up in cold sweat from one of these regular night terrors, the teen's hand instinctively reached for the feline plushie and held it against him as he tried to calm his rapid heartbeat. In a matter of minutes, Beat was sound asleep, with nothing but pleasant dreams filling his subconscious.

It didn't take long for the boy to notice the pattern of how whenever he'd sleep with the Mr. Neku doll he'd have good dreams, while if he slept without it, the nightmares would come back full force. As such, it became a habit to never go to sleep without his good luck charm by his side.

Why was this method effective? Maybe because having a physical reminder that his friend was back safe and sound was exactly what his mind needed to find peace. Maybe it was also because the doll was just too darn cute and resembled Neku in more ways than one, and only intensified the blonde's feelings for the other boy even more.

But he would rather die and go through the entire Reaper's Game again than admitting that out loud.

“I'm heading out! We need more milk. Do you want anything?”

Rhyme broke through the silence that was her older brother's thoughts as he sat down for dinner, scrolling aimlessly through his DMs after answering back to some of their friends about a meet up the following week. He raised his eyebrows in question. “What'cha goin' out for? We can just call mom and pops if somethin's missin'.”

The teenage girl reached for her backpack hanging by the entrance and turned to the boy with a smile. “Kaie messaged me to meet up. Something about a new app he's developing that he wants my thoughts on. So, I figured I could just stop by on the way.”

Beat chuckled as he pushed his almost empty bowl of rice to the side. “Looks like my little sister's turning into a real big shot programmer someday! Don't forget about the little guys like us when that happens, 'kay?”

Rhyme rolled her eyes, but smirked in her brother's direction as she unlocked the door. “I won't, don't worry. I wouldn't be able to forget you even if I wanted to~”

“Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!”

“I think it means you're good at leaving an impression.”

The third voice caught the siblings off-guard for a moment, until they realized who the figure at the door was. Rhyme smiled and went for a hug instantly. “Hey Neku!”

“Hey, you guys! Sorry for barging in, the door was open so…” Neku chuckled as he returned the younger blonde's embrace. After that, he turned upwards to address the oldest sibling on the far end of the room, waving a couple of notebooks in his hand. “Thought I should stop by and return these.”

“Dang, you done already? Took me weeks to learn all that algebra shit for the test!” Beat chuckled as he stood from his seat and walked towards the duo.

After returning to the RG, both he and Neku had lots of catching up to do, and among those matters was the dreaded subject of school. Beat was lucky enough to have an incredibly talented genius sister who had taken notes from all his classes thanks to the permission given to her by the principal.

Neku however, wasn't as fortunate. Because of this, the blonde had insisted that the other boy copy his notes to get up to speed on all subjects. That was a mere two weeks ago.

“As much as I'd love to sit here and listen to how copying my poor brother's notes went, I have somewhere to be. It was nice seeing you, Neku!” Rhyme chimed in and quickly headed for the open door. Reaching for her pocket, she pulled out her keys and phone for Beat to see. “And yes, my phone is fully charged.”

Before either boy could say anything, she closed the door behind her with a soft click.

“Can't believe how grown up she is. Not like she and Shiki weren't more mature than us back then too, right?” Neku broke the silence as he turned to his best friend with a small smile.

Beat couldn't help but nod and stare at the door with a hint of melancholy in his eyes. “You can say that again, dawg. Rhyme's always been independent, but now 'is like she's goin' at her own rhythm, ya know? Makes me wonder when she won't be needing me anymore…”

Neku sighed at that statement, and quickly placed his hand on the blonde's shoulder. It was a… comforting touch. “Like she said, she couldn't get rid of you even if she wanted to. And something tells me she doesn't want to, especially when she's got someone like you caring so much for her.”

In another circumstance, the blonde might've blushed at such a comment, but he tried his best to keep it cool and just return a smile instead despite the increasing sound of his heartbeat. “Thanks man. That means a lot coming from you.”

“Anytime. Anyway, should I just leave these in your room?” The red head smiled but then changed the subject as he pointed at the notebooks that were still in his hand.

Beat nodded and quickly made his way back into the kitchen as he replied. “Yeah, fo' sure! I'ma heat you up some rice to take home, too. We gots too much left over, so it shouldn't go to waste!”

Neku grinned and headed for the room he had been to many times before. “Very thoughtful of you. Your mom told you to say that to any guests that come by?”

The blonde merely huffed. “So what if she did?”

Another chuckle resonated as Neku disappeared from Beat's field of vision. The blonde rolled his eyes, but still grabbed a small container from the clean dishes and began scooping chunks of rice until it was full. Once he closed it off, he reached for a plastic bag and gently placed the container inside for easy travel.

His mother would definitely be proud of the handiwork.

Taking the bag with one hand, the older boy headed for his room and placed it on one of the drawers with a grin decorating his features. “Trust me man, if anyone knows how to do some good rice, 'is my mom! You gonna be beggin' for more once-”

The words were immediately caught in Beat's throat as he saw Neku standing by his bedside, holding a very familiar plushie between his hands. His mind went blank as he began mentally kicking himself over not remembering the furry companion that now lived with him.

There was just no logical explanation for either how or why Beat had something like this in his room, but all he could do was try to save any dignity he had left as he began mumbling his story. “O-Oh, that! Yeah so um, Shiki was workin' on some weird dolls a-and she asked Rhyme for help on how they were goin' and this one was one of 'em! S-She gave it to me and well, I just, I-”

After rambling for what felt like ages, Neku silenced the blonde in one of the most bizarre ways he could've imagined— by placing Mr. Neku's muzzle against Beat's lips.

Beat's eyes widened in confusion, until the other boy turned to him from behind the doll and smiled softly. “If you wanted me as a cuddle buddy, all you had to do was ask.”

At that statement, the implication behind the innocent gesture finally clicked in his brain and the blonde's cheeks lit aflame as he scrambled backwards. Neku chuckled at the other's expression and started rubbing at the back of his head sheepishly. “Guess I'm gonna have to ask Shiki when that Mr. Beat doll is gonna be ready, cause after seeing this guy, I really want mine too.”

Beat stared as the blush began to subside. “A-A doll? Fo' you?!”

It was Neku's turn to blush as he adverted his gaze to the floor. “What can I say? The idea just sounded really comforting when she suggested it. Although, I'm sure it wouldn't compare to the real deal…”

The blonde stared for a long time, until eventually the thought of Neku sleeping with a Mr. Beat doll was far too cute to pass up. He smiled sheepishly too— scratching at the back of his neck as he stared at the boy he grew to be so very fond of. “Well… why not test it out?”

It was safe to say that the duo had a wonderful rest that night, with Rhyme having to tiptoe around the house to prevent the sleepy teens from waking up. Not before taking a picture to share with her brother later, of course.

Neku was right. Cuddling next to the one he loved was a far cry from doing so with his plushie doll.

And even though Beat would be keeping Mr. Neku, along with Mr. Beat once he was complete, the blonde was glad to know that he could reach out to the real deal in times of need, even more so after realizing that perhaps they were more similar than they had previously thought.

If the next day was filled with embarrassing comments and unstoppable teasing from his sister along with their friends who she gossiped to, he would just have to handle it.

After surviving a Reaper's Game, everything else seemed a little less scary, especially when he wasn't at it alone.

✧ TWITTER ✧ INSTAGRAM ✧ AO3 ✧

✧ WATTPAD ✧ KO-FI ✧

#twewysecretsanta2022 #twewy #twewy fanfic #nekubeat #beatneku #my stories

20 notes · View notes