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athena-swords · 4 months

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🎊 Gifts for our NEW YEAR 🎊

PAC

Disclaimer: people I am doing this in all seriousness and all and no it's not for entertainment purposes but ya collective readings so take what resonates

Pile 1. Pile2.

Pile 3. Pile4.

Pile 1❄️❄️🤍

We keep this love in photographs, so if you wanna buy cameras or just capture moments please go ahead and buy it it will give you lots of joy pile 1 new year could be looking as just any new year coming but you know that things are gonna change and maybe the people you are close with now will have to move and you too to other places so cherish this moments.Are you all joining colleges??or like your graduation is being done anyway congrats wishing you absolutely the best .

Maybe you will take the road less taken which will have its own uncertainty but for sure it's gonna be so worth it ,okay first of all whatever type of exams or test you are planning for they gonna give you your desired or expected results and you could be seeing true faces of your close mates and if you feel that you get easily evil eye or affected by others energies don't worry your guides are there to protect you ,this year you could have on issue in financial matter you are being in open to receive energy I see a energetic shit around you and you actually coming into limelight (attention song being played)you definitely should check your solar return chart could bein fire asc sign ok

And I am seeing or more of sensing lot's of puppy love energy so ya talking stages could happen and you ending up liking someone all over just enjoy your "up in the poppy hills" movie vibe so here comes the end of a eventful year wishing you all the best guys take care 💓

Oracle cards: Give it sometime approx 3 to 4 months,the more you live the less you worry,luck is in your favour,My gurl is the prettiest,Be careful with the people you choose

Please comment on your 2024 wishes and reblog means alot

Pile 2❤️‍🩹🥀

Some of you could be getting married or just getting your"THE ONE" for you if you wanted to meet your soul tribe and have been manifesting some wholesome human bond well I am pleased to tell you , you're making some lifetime connections this year , lots of self care products buying specifically perfumes and scented products if 2023 has been the pain the upcoming one will heal all those wounds and the word hork you thought no one saw wanna check some parts of pile 1?? I would recommend there could be a message for you there

Look you need to stop procrastinating!!!like if we wand our desires to turn into reality we need to put some action okkk and studyyyyy like when you study just put your focus on it if need then gurl you have to read it again n ugh that's more tiring.being more organised and balance is always a gift for you this year and a quote for you is "sometimes rejection is protection in disguise"so just jio lol even if it's your lala world I just said a paradox bit don't come to me fantasy and reality just need a little balance and we are good with it.

If you love gloomy weather then congrats you could experience it alot this year.I think you tend to underestimate your intuition and when it turns out right you regret so this year all about working on this and believing ourselves more then others 💗💗

Oracle cards: make a priority list,oh lala it's a love story, it's a yes, please zindagi jiyo baba...,study remember it's "you reap what you sow".

Please comment on your 2024 wishes and reblog means alot

Pile 3📸🦋

My Roman Empire is..... Idk lol.So travels travels and lots of travels in the list 😸 are you planning to fulfill your bucket list or something kya pile 3 anyway you could start talking again with a dear one with whom you could have stopped interacting or cut ties.Having a reunion of some kind being on backpack this could be the highlight of your year sudden plans being made you shifting family dynamics being changed

You again starting to learn alottt like an instrument, occult knowledge,your ancestors, about the world human body and many moreee.Having watermelon with closed ones on a beach or family farm haa such a vibe and keeping your room clean so it does not look like a messy place

Honestly I don't want to touch this past but somewhere along the line if you started feeling that it's hard uk to be happy like genuinely feel so content of life and kinda just at the starting stage of depression well this year is gonna prove your fact so wrong love muah muah have my love ok💓💓

On a side note your Cooking is good please try more

Oracle cards: Are you pretending love,the fingers create magic , living life king size , friends are the bigger enemy.

Please comment on your 2024 wishes and reblog means alot

Pile 4🪴🦓

Headache ahh you could be having them a bit this year ya but but it's because of all the packed schedule you need to get done with which you will be doing for not overthinking about "this" situation of yours someone from past could come back now it's upto you what you will do with them (it seems romantic connection btw).

Do you put this "I don't care" attitude I see you gotta change this one as there will be things you have to be responsible for alot this year.Emotionally you could be working on yourself listening to podcasts and actually making opinions of yours not just blindly following whatever is being said .you confused about something?? honestly sameee sorry for this just that your biggest gift could be knowing yourself more and handling just how you show yourself to the world

Oracle cards: posh lifestyle,lose yourself a little bit, it's not worth it,it worth trying,you know the answer

Please comment on your 2024 wishes and reblog means alot

Wishing you all a very happy New year 🧿🧿🤍

Pls message me my ishman fam i need someone to talk about them 🤌🤌

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sunkissed-zegras · 8 months

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✮ 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝟐'𝐬, jump then fall au!

au masterlist! masterlist!

♡ ─ word count | 1.9k

♡ ─ summary | a week into cece being the fantilli's official nanny, paloma is going through the terrible two tantrums and adam doesn't know how to deal with it.

♡ ─ warnings | unedited, fluff, anxiety, toddler tantrums (ofc), mentions of being tired, idk ?? nothing else!

♡ ─ taglist | @literatureluster @itsnotgray (fill in form in my navigation in you are interested!)

♡ ─ ev's notes | aaaaa this series is finally in full swing, i am so excited. ALSOOO PLEASE SEND IN ANY THOUGHTS U HAVE WITH THIS AU, i love when yall have your own little headcanons it literally makes my day. also, how would u guys like this to be formatted? like chapters or like.. something else??? idk but anyways, ily u all and enjoy this fic!!!!!

Adam rambled on nervously about Paloma's snack for about the fifth time as Cece followed him into the kitchen, nodding along to every word he was saying. She knew he was nervous to leave Paloma alone so she tried her best to seem interested even though he's repeated the same thing for what seemed like the millionth time.

As Adam rambled on, he suddenly stopped mid-sentence, an embarrassed flush creeping onto his cheeks. He realized he had been repeating himself, and Cece had been patiently listening the whole time.

"Sorry," he chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair. "I guess I'm just a bit on edge with leaving Paloma alone. I want everything to be perfect for her."

Cece shook her head in understanding, "No don't even apologize! I appreciate it, I do tend to forget about stuff. And I get it, the first time is always the hardest."

Adam sighed, feeling grateful for her understanding. "Thanks, Cece. I know I can be a bit... overprotective sometimes."

"It's a good quality, especially when it comes to being a dad," she replied warmly. "I get it, I go crazy for my little brother. I'm pretty sure I would commit a crime for him," you joked playfully.

Adam chuckled, the tension in the room easing as he appreciated Cece's sense of humor. "Yeah, me too. Paloma is my world, and I'd do anything to make sure she's safe and happy."

Cece smiled warmly, a genuine warmth in her eyes. "I can tell you're a great dad, Adam. Paloma is lucky to have you." Her smile carried her feelings and she saw herself in Adam as he talked about Paloma. She was the same with her brother and her little nephew and niece.

His expression softened, and he returned the smile. "Thanks, Cece. That means a lot."

Comfort silence filled the kitchen before Adam got a phone call and cursed under his breath, "Shit, I'm late."

Cece watched as Adam's expression shifted from one of warmth to a sudden realization that he was running late. She could sense the urgency in his voice as he cursed softly.

"I gotta get going but call me if anything happens. And if I don't answer, call Luca or mom. Oh, you don't have my mom's number, let me give it to you in case-"

Cece let out a soft laugh as she put a hand on his shoulder in comfort, "It's fine, Adam. Don't worry I'm sure I'll get a hold of you, alright? Just relax and get to your meeting in one piece."

He took a breath and then laughed along with her, even though there was still some anxiety running through his veins. He nodded, "Alright, sorry about that, you're right." This was part of the process, it would be okay.

"Don't apologize, you're okay." Cece still had an understanding expression on her face as Adam took another deep breath before walking to the door and taking his keys.

"Alright, I'll see you in a couple hours. Paloma's sleeping right now but you remember-" He saw her expression and then let out an anxious sigh before nodding. "You got it?"

"I got it, boss." You joked playfully as he smiled. "Bye,"

"Bye." He took one more look around his apartment before leaving the apartment.

As Adam left for his meeting, Cece stood in the doorway, watching him until he disappeared from view. She then turned her attention back to the apartment, a newfound sense of responsibility settling in her heart. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to check on Paloma, who was still peacefully sleeping in her room.

The apartment was quiet, save for the gentle sounds of Paloma's breathing. Cece couldn't help but smile as she looked down at the sleeping toddler.

──

A FEW WEEKS LATER

──

Adam walked into the apartment after a long and grueling practice, his body feeling the weight of exhaustion. The familiar scent of home welcomed him as he closed the door behind him. He let out a sigh of relief, glad to be back in the comfort of his own space.

He entered the living room, he noticed the soft glow of dimmed lights and the sound of gentle music playing in the background. It was a scene he had grown accustomed to since Cece had become a part of their lives.

He made his way to the kitchen, where he found Cece cleaning Paloma's dishes. She looked up and smiled warmly when she saw him. "Hey, Adam. How was practice?"

She could tell he was tired, he has been for the entirety of the week. She respected how hard he worked at practice and how he still had energy for Paloma, even after an exhausting practice.

Adam stretched his tired muscles and replied, "Long and exhausting, per usual, but it's done. How's Paloma?"

Cece's smile widened. "She's been an sweetheart. We played and watched a Barbie movie, had dinner, now she's asleep in bed."

Adam felt a sense of relief wash over him. He had been anxious about leaving Paloma in someone else's care, but seeing how well Cece was handling everything put his mind at ease. Right as he was about to respond, the familiar cry of Paloma rang through the apartment.

Cece, out of habit, immediately dropped the dishes into the sink and walked out of the kitchen before Adam spoke, "Cece, it's fine. Let me go see what's up."

"Oh, alright-"

This had been a problem for the past week, Paloma throwing tantrums right after being put to sleep. Adam had tried everything he could think of to soothe her, but nothing seemed to work.

He made his way to Paloma's bedroom and found her sitting up in her crib, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Hey, sweetheart, what's wrong?" he asked softly as he lifted her into his arms.

Paloma clung to him, her tiny hands gripping his shirt as she continued to cry.

Adam's heart broke at his daughter's cries. He held her close and whispered soothingly, "It's okay, Paloma. Daddy's here, and you're okay." His arms were sore from practice but he couldn't get himself to leave her as she continued to cry loudly.

He gently rocked her back and forth, his heart aching as he tried to comfort her. Paloma's cries gradually subsided, and she nestled against his chest, her breathing slowly evening out. He didn't want to put her back in the crib because he didn't want to her wake up again and cry, so he stayed like that for a few seconds even if he was exhausted.

Cece walked in quietly and Adam put his finger on his finger to singal to be quiet. Paloma made a soft noise and Adam let out a sigh of exhaustion but to his surprise, she didn't start crying again as she saw Cece.

Instead, she sat up in Adam's arms and reached out to Cece, making a soft, wanting sound. Cece couldn't help but let out a laugh, her heart warmed by the sight of Paloma's tiny outstretched arms.

Adam slowly gave Paloma to Cece and she immediately held onto her, putting her head on her shoulder and her eyes immediately shut.

Adam watched with a mixture of relief and admiration as Paloma snuggled into Cece's arms, her cries now fully replaced by contentment. He had been worried about leaving her alone with the Cece, but this moment reassured him that he had made the right choice.

Cece held Paloma gently, her heart melting at the trust Paloma was placing in her. She swayed softly, creating a soothing rhythm that seemed to lull Paloma back into a peaceful slumber.

Adam couldn't help but smile at the sight. His daughter was finally finding comfort and security in the presence of another person. He made a gesture to the door to silently say he was going to leave and Cece gave him a sweet smile and a thumbs up with her free hand. As he left the room, his heart swelled at the new memory. He felt himself get used to Cece and Paloma together, it was a new welcome sight.

After he took a shower, he walked into the kitchen and he heard Paloma's bedroom door open quietly and then he turned to see Cece. She caught his gaze and smiled before walking up to him.

Adam felt comfortable as he saw Cece approaching him from the hallway. There was something comforting about her presence, something that put him at ease. He couldn't help but return her smile with a warm one of his own.

"Hey," she greeted softly, her voice carrying a sense of warmth and ease. "Paloma is back to sleep. I think she just needed a little reassurance."

"Good, I'm glad. Hopefully she sleeps the whole night." Adam sighed and he still sounded tired after his shower. You couldn't help but feel bad for him, you knew how much sports and a career could take a toll on a person. She couldn't even imagine on top of all of that, having a toddler to take care of. "And thanks, Cece. You're great with her."

She waved off his gratitude. "It's my pleasure, Adam. I enjoy spending time with her, she's such a sweet girl and she makes my job so much easier."

He nodded in agreement as he listened to her compliment. "She can be handful sometimes, but she's the best thing that's ever happened to me." There was a softness in his eyes as he spoke about his daughter, a deep love that was evident in every word.

Cece smiled warmly, her heart warmed by the genuine affection Adam had for Paloma. "It's clear how much you love her, Adam. It's beautiful to see."

Adam's gaze met hers, and for a moment, time seemed to slow down as they shared a silent connection. There was something about Cece that drew him in, something he couldn't quite put into words. He immediately internally yelled at himself, he couldn't ─ not with his nanny.

He cleared his throat, breaking the momentary silence. "Well, I'm glad you're here," he admitted, his eyes still fixed on her. "It's nice to have some company too."

Cece's smile brightened, and she took a step closer to him. "I'm here whenever you need me, Adam. For both of you." Her eyes widened as Adam looked back at her and she suddenly felt self-conscious. "Like, in a friend way. Of course," she laughed nervously.

Adam couldn't help but notice the sudden shift in Cece's demeanor, and he couldn't help but chuckle softly at her nervous laughter. He appreciated the clarification, even though part of him was tempted to explore where that unspoken connection might lead to.

"Of course, Cece," he replied with a warm smile. "Well, you're my first official friend in Ohio. Well, other than the team."

She returned the smile, "I'm honored, Adam." She laughed at that and he joined in a second later. The laughter filled the kitchen before she felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

"Oh shoot, I gotta get going. I have to pick up my friend,"

"No problem, Cece," Adam replied, his smile still lingering. "Thanks for taking care of Paloma tonight. And get home safe, text me when you get home." He wanted to self-palm himself after that one but Cece just smiled warmly at that, making all the anxiety melt away.

"I will, thank you. See you Monday," Cece replied, her warm smile making Adam's heart skip a beat. She waved goodbye before leaving, leaving Adam alone in the kitchen with a new sense of warmth and connection he hadn't felt in a while.

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

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acotarfrustrations · 5 months

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An ongoing list of acowar grievances I'm keeping track of while I read (because there's too many to make a post about all of them)

1) Feyre's constant edginess. It's such a bizarre and ham-fisted shift in the voice of the character from the previous book. Too much tell, not enough show

2) "that they thought Rhysand could ever force someone . . . I added that to the long list of things to repay them for.".........lol OK girl

3) Feyre all of a sudden knowing how to use every power she has despite her very limited "training"

4) constant mention of Lucien and Elain's mating bond. Not only do I not give a damn, I REALLY wish it wasn't a thing all together

5) CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THE IMPORTANCE OF THE MORTAL QUEENS TO ME? WHO TF EVEN ARE THEY?? It's so stupid that they don't get brought up until feyre is a fae like we have no clue the humans even have an overarching government until she's not human anymore. Why are they turning them Fae? What possible advantages can they grant the fae that they don't have already? How tf are there so many queens when the human territory is so small? For that matter, why tf is Hybern going to war over a tiny handful of humans? Why involve this convoluted plot with turning the mortal queens into Fae when it seems like the humans don't even know of their existence so they wouldn't listen to or follow them in the first place

6) this should be dual pov. I would LOVE tamlin's perspective or even lucien's

7) I need WAY more information about the cauldron because it makes no sense

8) this isn't a gripe but I just have to mention how bad I feel for lucien

9) somehow ianthe became 10x MORE boring as a villain. Like you could replace her woth Regina George and the book would be more interesting

10) WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SEXUAL ASSAULT, OH MY FUCKING GOD

11) this whole spying on the spring court thing is stupid, inefficient, and childish. The NC is risking the lives of all the courts doing this shit when they could easily just ACTUALLY TELL THE OTHER COURTS WHATS GOING ON TO GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO RALLY TOGEYHER AND DEFEND THEMSELVES, form an alliance, and reason with tamlin or attack him if he refuses to listen to reason. Most information they stand to gain from what they're doing is useless in light of how many fae and human lives stand to be lost or displaced

12) WE FUCKING GET IT FEYRE! THERE ARE TWO WOLVES INSIDE YOU! BENEATH YOUR SKIN YOU ARE A WOLF, A MOUNTAIN LION, A PANTHER, A COBRA, A TARANTULA, A BALD EAGLE, AND EVERY OTHER KIND OF PREDATOR UNDER THE SUN!!!!! JFC I GET SYMBOLISM BUT ITS GETTING CRINGE IN HERE

13) that entire ridiculous summer solstice scene in chapter 4

14) FEYRE COMPARING TAMLIN TO ARAMANTHA?! HELLO???????

15) the whole situation with using Lucien to make tamlin jealous is just....icky, idk

16) I almost regret wanting more political intrigue In these novels as it is by far Sarah Janet's weakest suit

17) framing jurian a villain is one of the dumbest decisions ever. Wish he had more screen time though

18) feyre's badass scene w/ the children of the blessed makes me wish that after she became fae, she returned to the human lands, killed/overthrew the mortal queens, said fuck you to tamlin and rhys, and just became queen of the mortal realms, having to earn her people's trust as a fae, protect and defend them, and come to terms w/ her loss of humanity. That would have been so EPIC

19) the entirety of chapter 8

20) the fact that acotar was written. If the series started w/ acomaf I would have a lot less problems. All the constant retconning and inconsistencies in canon and worldbuilding just keep pissing me off, idk I can't look past it

21) I'm losing count and I'm only on chapter 9 so I'm just going to keep reading for now. Might make a part 2 idk

#anti sjm #anti acotar #anti rhysand #anti feysand #anti sarah j maas #anti ic #anti acomaf #anti inner circle #anti acowar

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pepsiboyy · 2 months

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starboy part 4 (final <3)

P1 P2 P3 P4

pairing: y/n x chris sturniolo

summary: y/n, born and raised in los angeles, moves across the country to boston. when she feels like she has nobody, she makes some new friends at her new job. she grows particularly close with the sturniolo triplets, where she finds a lot in common with one of them.

warnings: some fluff, angst, LOTS of cursing, and bullying :p

lowercase intentional!!!

author's note: HIII sorry i took a few days to myself to like. play video games idk that's my excuse my bad yall but FINAL PARTTT yayyy

i took a deep breath as my arms were practically wrapped around myself. i stared at the star market sign and bit my lip, slowly stepping through the automatic doors.

i quickly made my way to the customer service counter, where i saw matt clocking out. he turned to me and his eyes immediately softened. "hey, y/n," he breathed, stepping towards me.

i smiled quickly and half-heartedly before taking his spot and clocking in.

"are you okay? you left real fast yesterday, and.. i don't know, chris said he tried to reach out and-"

"yeah, i fell asleep. i didn't feel good," i mumbled, biting my lip as i tried not to let any sadness show in my expression. i turned to matt and smiled softly. "sorry for leaving so sudden. i just felt.. unwell," i mumbled.

matt slowly nodded and smiled softly. "okay, if you insist... i just want to be able to be a friend to you, nick does too, and especially chris." he chuckled. all i could do was look at him, but it looked more like i was looking through him and spacing out. matt's smile fell as he sighed. "chris also mentioned that when you guys were sitting, he got a notification from-"

"damn, y/n is here again today?" maeve's voice rang as she set her bag down and practically shoved me to the side to clock in. "guess i gotta do everything around here today." she mumbled as she side-eyed me, and i bit my lip. i couldn't do this today.

"maeve, you can't talk to her like that, she's still learning." matt told her, softly but very clearly as he sighed and gathered his things. "y/n, if you need anything, or just somebody to talk to, please reach out, okay?" he asked, and looked at me for any form of response.

"right, yeah. thanks, matt." i breathed, and he smiled at my response before stepping towards the exit.

i turned to maeve and bit my lip as she scrolled through her phone and applied pink lip gloss against her lips. she was stunning, and i was a bit envious of her long, blonde hair. i closed my eyes and let out a sigh, looking at my phone. i was a bit surprised to see some messages from who i had been dreading to see all day, and who i had hoped would have left with matt.

from: chris⭐ hey y/n, hope your shift goes well

i shuttered as i looked up at maeve. what if she was actively texting him? i turned to look around the store the best i can, and i saw chris pushing some carts inside.

damn, he was really still here.

i let out a breath as i began to straighten up around my department, seeing as it was a slow day and maeve was no help.

i sat in the breakroom as i stared at the wall. no music played in my ears, and nobody else sat in the room with me. i simply stared at the wall for my break. i sat and thought about all of the glances i had passed to chris, and how many times i caught him looking back. i also watched him and maeve talk quite often, which would cause my heart to clench each and every time. it didn't make sense to me. why did he pretend to care so much about me when he clearly had maeve?

"hi chris!" maeve smiled brightly and leaned against the counter to be closer to him, who was just trying to walk by and pick up a box of items.

"hey, maeve," he breathed, and she practically squealed at him, causing me to turn my head the other day and practically wince.

"whatcha got planned tonight? did you wanna go out?" maeve asked, which resulted in some silence and a deep breath.

"i'm busy tonight." he mumbled.

my back was still turned as i went through another box.

"i'm taking my fifteen, maeve. i'll be back." i breathed before swinging around on my heel and shoving past them both.

and that was why i was sitting against this worn down couch, staring at the wall. it made no sense to me. none of it.

after about thirteen minutes passed, i sighed and stood up to begin collecting my things and getting ready to head back out.

the door swung open.

"y/n, hey can we talk?" chris breathed, and i turned to the sudden sound of the door opening. since it was silent in the room, it scared me a bit more than i would have liked to admit.

"my fifteen is up, sorry." i breathed and attempted to walk past him.

i felt a hand against my own, before i turned to chris and bit my lip. facing him was really hard. my eyes welled up almost immediately, and chris picked up on it very quickly. worry rushed through his expression.

"after we close. please?" chris asked, carefully letting my arm go. i slowly nodded before i pulled away. i stood for a few moments, looking at him, biting my lip and then walking back towards the exit.

"thank fuck. about time. what were you even doing in there anyway?" maeve spat, and i turned to her. this really was not the time for her to speak to me that way, and in fact, it never was the time. "i had to deal with literally four people when you were gone. all by myself. can you do something for once and clean the place up?"

i bit my lip as i stared at her. part of me wanted to confront her, call her out and tell her that she was no help and incredibly lazy. another part of me wanted to beat her ass right then and there, but the other part of me knew that if i started any work drama, i could potentially get fired and i should keep my mouth shut.

i took in a deep breath.

"i'll get on it," i replied, moving to grab a broom.

11:30pm. only thirty more minutes before i had to talk with chris in the parking lot. and only thirty more minutes that i had to deal with maeve any longer.

"y/n, these don't go here. god, do you do anything right?" she muttered as she pulled out a roll of receipt paper, and i stopped what i was doing. i carefully stood up and let out a soft sigh.

"sorry, maeve. nobody told me where those go." i responded under my breath.

maeve was sitting against the counter now, looking at herself in her phone camera and once again applying lip gloss to her lips.

i watched her for a few moments before going to grab a box. it ripped, and collapsed directly into my foot and caused a loud bang.

"ow, fuck," i breathed, biting my lip as i looked down at my foot, and then at the mess i had created. stupid box.

"y/n, are you kidding me? this just adds to the list of things we have to clean up. why are you so clumsy?" she asked.

i had enough.

"can you shut the fuck up?" i spat, causing her to cover her mouth in shock. i scoffed. "all you fucking do is sit there on your goddamn phone. i have done everything today, and you left me the other day. you haven't trained me yet you expect me to know everything around here. why are you such a fucking bitch?" i raised my voice, now visibly shaking with anger. my face was red, and i felt tears brimming my eyes. "i've worked like three shifts here and you treat me like this? name one thing you've done today." i questioned, and she visibly stuttered.

"absolutely nothing," a voice rang as i looked over and saw chris standing there. "she's done nothing but text me all day."

i cringed slightly. nice way to top it off.

"but chrissy-" maeve started, to which chris immediately stopped her.

"i told you to stop calling me that, it's annoying." he muttered before he stepped towards me and began picking some of the things up that i had dropped. my face scrunched a bit in confusion as i tried to piece together what he had said.

maeve seemed to hurt, but she put on a stupid face and quickly yet sloppily grabbed her things before she stomped away to clock out.

i took in a deep breath and sighed, looking over at chris who had now finished picking everything up. "thanks.. for doing that. you didn't have to." i mumbled, looking to the side.

chris didn't respond. he stood up and looked at me, smiling like a little kid. "that was fucking awesome, didn't know you had it in you to talk like that to someone, especially on the clock?"

i smiled shyly and looked down before rubbing my eyes and chuckling slightly. "she was just getting on my nerves..."

"she does for everyone, y/n. i promise. it's okay." he breathed, and i looked at him with a soft nod. "is your foot okay?" he asked, and i shrugged.

"it's fine, i guess. hurts, but i'll live."

"i'll walk you home." chris responded, very quickly, as i looked at him and smiled softly.

"whatever you say."

the air was kind of heavy, if i were being honest. it was hard to even think about everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours.

"y/n?"

i turned to chris as he called my name, and bit my lip. it was time to finally talk about everything.

"can you tell me what's up? why you left so suddenly last night, why you haven't answered my texts, what's wrong?" he questioned, as i simply walked beside him and let out a deep sigh.

"i just..." i took in a deep breath. i stopped walking and turned to chris. "when i moved here, i thought i had nobody. some people would be excited for a fresh start, but i dreaded every moment here. i met you, matt and nick, and realized that things may not be so bad here. especially when i'm with you," i whispered the last part, looking down at my feet.

chris had stopped walking as well, looking at me and nodding softly as he listened closely.

"after we had hung out, i truly thought that maybe i saw you as something more, and when we sat together at your place, i kind of knew from there that i for sure had something more than just the friendly thought of you." i smiled softly, and he nodded, knowing where i was going. "i like you a lot chris, i did from the moment we walked together to mcdonalds and the feelings i had for you, i thought were mutual. but then you got that text on your phone from maeve, and-"

"y/n," he breathed, stepping towards me.

i bit my lip and looked up at him, and he immediately shook his head.

"no." he almost laughed out, and i tilted my head. nothing was funny to me right now. "i don't know how she got me number. genuinely. that's reason one as to why i don't like her. reason two, she's an asshole. and reason three," he smiled softly at me as he gently brushed a few loose strands of my hair behind my ear.

with a soft lean forward and a slight tilt of the head, chris had pressed his lips to mine. i closed my eyes and leaned into the kiss, smiling softly against him. he smiled as well before carefully pulling away and moving his hands to carefully grasp mine.

"i like you."

i smiled softly and looked up at him. as we stood on the sidewalk and stared at each other, i bit my lip and shyly looked down before wrapping my arms tightly around him. "i'm sorry.." i whispered, and chris chuckled.

he wrapped his arms around me and gently rubbed my back, carefully swaying us both. he rested his head on top of mine.

"don't be sorry. you had every right to be confused and frustrated." he gently pulled away and looked at me before he carefully took my hand in his.

our fingers intertwined, as we began walking again.

"let's get you home."

HIIII HELLO THIS WAS A SHORT FANFIC BUT I HOPE YOU GUYS LIEKD ITTTTT IT'S MY FIRST THING ON TUMBLR !!!!

i am working on a matt fanfic rnnnn it'll be so awesome sauce, go read the teaser if you haven't already!!

taglist;;

@sweetbabydoe @orangeypepsi @sturniolosreads

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #chris x reader #sturniolo smut

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xerith-42 · 4 months

Text

I think I have such a hard time coming up with/fleshing out certain ideas for MCD sometimes because the series is so fast. Like on one hand it's 237 episodes, which is a lot, but there's still no break time like ever. Most of the time that there's proper downtime in the story is in the earlier parts of Season 1. And on one level I get that's part of the point, right? These are a bunch of incredibly fucked up people with no time to get their shit together before the end of the world is thrust upon them and they don't even know it yet.

But it's so disappointing. Because I have all these great ideas for story beats or character moments that just wouldn't have time to fit into the original. And sure that's what my rewrite is for but... Augh, idk I feel like I'm not entirely making sense. Just, like Laurance's Shadow Knight condition. It starts off very mild and gets progressively worse as time goes on, but the change can feel so sudden in the canon and even rewriting it can make it hard to give it the time to develop. I always think of it like a chronic illness/condition that afflicts him slowly over the course of years, but in reality it's like the course of months. I just want the world to slow down a little so these poor bitches can talk about their feelings.

All this comes down to the main structural problems I have with MCD as it pertains to the focus eventually shifting. Sometime in season 2 Jess got really into the lore and a lot less into the characters she had already spent so much time building up and the series lost focus. I'm not interested in the relics because I give a shit about finding out Irene's secrets or whatever, I'm interested in how the presence of the relics really effects these people. Give me Garroth having a crisis over the fact that he and Esmund are so similar it can be hard to tell whether he believes something or whether the relic believes it. Give me Travis, the show boat, the flirt, being unable to stand the sight of his reflection because it either reminds him of his fucked up heritage, or because when he looks at his own reflection sometimes he looks exactly like Enki.

I just wish the focus had remained on what truly drew people into the series. I can read complex lore about characters I don't ever really see on the RWBY wiki. My attachment to MCD even after all these years is because these characters had an impact on me. I connected with them in a way I hadn't connected with a cast of characters before, and I doubt I'm alone in that. I just wish that the thing that keeps me coming back to the series remained the focus instead of becoming a lower priority. The story was being carried by the characters and their interactions, as it should be. It should never feel like the story is just dragging them around.

#i really dont know what this is #just some ramblings #text post #aphmau #i dont support aphmau #laurance zvahl #minecraft diaries #minecraft diaries laurance #mcd #mcd laurance #mcd headcanons #I guess?#how do you tag #a post like this #just some random thoughts #musings #garroth ro'meave #mcd travis #travis valkrum

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midnightsnyx · 11 months

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YAY! Could you please write skjei and reader having their first dumb fight that escalates? Maybe reader says “why do you care so much what I do?” and he says “because I love you!” and they both realize it’s not worth fighting over? Idk if that makes sense 😂

Hi! Sorry, I was away for the weekend. Thank u for the request!! I know this is super short but I hope you like it <3 blurb & instagram edit requests are open.

The first real argument between you and Brady happens about 6 months into your relationship. Your hours at the hospital were getting longer due to a staffing issue so you were working a lot of overtime and Brady was worried you were overworking yourself. You knew he was just worried about you but you loved your job and didn't want to admit that you'd bitten off more than you could chew. So, when he suggests you take some time off you get defensive.

"Why do you care so much about this?" you snap, crossing your arms defensively. You've been arguing for the better part of an hour and you're both getting tired of it so his next words aren't what you are expecting.

"Because I love you!" he shouts and freezes, clearly surprised by his own words. Neither of you says anything for a moment, both taking in his sudden confession.

Those three words haven't been said by either of you yet, mainly because you both showed your love in different ways. Him, bringing you your favorite drink during a busy shift. You, cheering him on even during the losses. There are a million and one ways to say I love you without words and the two of you did it all the time.

You respond by dumbly asking, "really?" and when he smiles, suddenly this whole fight seems so pointless and all you want to do is walk over and kiss him.

"Yeah," he says, walking towards you until he's standing in front of you. He brushes a piece of loose hair from your face and his hand lingers, stroking your cheek before dropping it. "I've been wanting to say that for a while."

Your soft me too, breaks whatever tension is left between you two, and when he kisses you, you completely forget why you were fighting in the first place.

#hockey imagines #nhl fanfiction #hockey fanfiction #nhl imagines #allies writing #hockey imagine #hockey blurb #brady skjei imagine #brady skjei x reader #brady skjei blurb #allie answers

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pandoa · 1 year

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sorry for bothering you again, Pandoa! idk if anyone asked for Epel but I dedided to do it myself. Tulips (said by Epel) and red roses (said by reader), theme comfort of home. Only a suggestion but I thought about this in Epel's home, like in the event. He and reader are talking and he just confess himself right there in a moment of confidence. I just... my country boi ily <3

Tulips ~ “so what if i’m in love with you?! is that so wrong?”

Red roses ~ “i’m afraid your existence in my life has tremendously done wonders to my racing heart. i may have to ask for yours in return”

~epel felmier x gender neutral reader~

cherryyyy thank you for another precious request <333 writing for you is always a joy and i really like how this one turned out too lol. hope you enjoy~

♡confidence juice♡

“We’ll never escape your family’s teasing, will we?” a chipper voice coming from your form asked as you sipped on a warm cup of apple juice, making yourself comfortable as you turned your head in all directions to bask in the peace of Epel’s room. Decorating the entire room was apple-accented accessories and lodge-like furniture that gave the room an aesthetic rustic look—one that somehow gave off an entrancing homely aura—while rays of sun coming from Harveston’s sky peeked out to kiss the tips of your fingers resting on the lavender-haired boy’s bed. The two of you had paid Epel’s family a visit at their farm in Harveston to try a new apple-centered beverage the Felmier’s had made; however, with Felmier family’s excitement over meeting you for the first time, bustling chattering had filled the orchard like harmonious critters chirping in the woods.

“Yeah…prob’ly not,” Epel said as he joined you in your seat at his bed, a fresh cup of his grandparents’ newest apple recipe in hand, “Ever since we got back ‘ere, they’ve seemed a bit nosey, haven’t they?”

“It’s cute.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Well, in your eyes it’s nosey. In my eyes, however, it’s cute. Almost endearing actually,” you reasoned while the calming aroma of spices from the apple juice tickled your nose. You made sure to take note and send your compliments to Mrs. Felmier on their family’s most recent recipe. It was absolutely amazing.

“Yeah, but I was kinda lookin’ forward to spending time with you alone. Y’know, show you some places from my childhood—things like that,” the Pomefiore first year shifted his body to face you as a light shade of pink glowed on his cheeks in slight embarrassment, “My family does not help at all, too, what with them constantly on our backs when we’re together.” Epel shivered when he swore he could feel the piercing gazes of his family spying on the both of you through his bedroom window, “And they keep starin’ at me like some kind of cicada is about to pop outta’ my chest; it makes no sense.”

“Cicada? Epel, what are you talking about—?”

“Well, I guess I did talk about you a lot to them before coming here. They might’ve figured it out by now…” the boy continued to mutter under his breath as he took a small sip out of his crimson red cup.

“Figured what out, exactly—?”

“But so what if I’m in love with you?! Is that so wrong?” appearing to be stuck in his own temporary world, Epel had accidentally let his own thoughts that had been boiling within him for quite some time slip out of his mind. His exclamation made sense at the moment, but now that he thought about it, why did he feel the need to say that again? Was it always this easy? Had he been concerning himself over his feelings for you for nothing? Was there something in the apple juice his grandparents had given him that gave him a sudden wave of coolness?

“Wait…” you cautiously looked at the boy as you struggled to believe what you had just heard, “Could you repeat that again for me, please?”

“I…I said that I love you, (Y/n),” Epel’s softened voice contrasted the determined expression coming from his light blue eyes. This was never what he planned to do during your short visit to Harveston, but there was just no going back, correct?

“Oh…” a hesitant mumble escaped your mouth as you fumbled with the now empty cup resting in your hands, “Then I have something to tell you, too.”

"What is it?”

“I’m afraid your existence in my life has done wonders to my racing heart. I may have to ask for yours in return,” you said with an infectious smile that sent shivers through Epel’s accelerating heart.

“Hey,” the first year then feigned defensiveness at your confession, “Don’t steal my line. That’s rude.”

An amused laugh of yours sang throughout the warmth of Epel’s room, jokingly playing along with the boy’s bantering, “Aw, I’m sorry, is that surge of confidence of yours still working right now?”

“Yes, in fact, it is. Thanks for noticing.”

“No problem~” you said, pulling him into an affectionate side hug from the right, “And I love you too, Epel. Just so you know.”

Since when did you two ever get so bold? Epel wondered. He supposed he would have to ask his grandparents if they really did put something in that new apple juice. Like some kind of confidence juice, or whatever.

Yeah, that’s right. Confidence juice.

a/n: it just occurred to me that "confidence juice" could be taken as a reference to alcohol and i would just like to say that that is not what i meant by it at all 💀

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst imagines #epel felmier #twst epel #epel twst #epel twisted wonderland #epel felmier x reader #epel x reader #epel x you #pomefiore #blossom grove prompt event

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letters-to-rosie · 5 months

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Sorry I'm sending so many asks, tho I'm curious if you have any tips on writing race in the Arcane universe. Clearly it's not the same as the real word but it a showrunner were to say point blank that racism doesn't exist in Arcane I think I'd get really mad. Idk, if you're still figuring it out sorry, I I'm just curious

lmao no problem I never stop talking anyway

but not only do I never mind getting asks, I was THRILLED to get this one. this isn't in my wheelhouse. it IS my wheelhouse. it's what I'm getting the phd for so they'll let me teach this sort of shit lol. I was literally so excited when I saw this that I had to make myself get to a certain stopping point on my final paper for my history of race class (how fitting) as a motivation so I could come answer afterward lol

the real key to it is something you've already identified in the ask itself: that it's not the same as the real world, but it's definitely there. and with that in mind we can think of talking about how race comes about

so I'mma break this into two sections. the first is about dealing with race (or racialization) in a fantasy setting like Arcane, and the second will be on how real-world structures still have a bearing on what we write about those fictional worlds and how they're perceived. okay, let's get into it (and let me type properly lol)

Because race isn't rooted in biological reality, it's constantly shifting. It's meanings are never fixed, but because race is a way we naturalize the world around us (much like gender stereotypes), it appears more permanent than it is. Now, this isn't discounting racialized violence any group has endured. But the process of defining who belongs to what group, where the dividing lines are, what racial stereotypes mean, and so on, is ongoing.

Race is a popular way of dealing with difference, but it's far from the only one. So what we have to ask is how a group of people become not just different but fundamentally different in ways you can assign supposed traits and behaviors to them. There are a lot of ways this can happen, and every instance has its own historical specificity. Also, every instance is caught up in a "web," so to speak, of cultural context, understandings, and referents (riffing Clifford Geertz and Stuart Hall a little here) that allow people in that web to make sense of the world around them and to understand themselves. So it's very messy, but often we can find some key events that set the process of making a race, racialization, in motion. A good example IRL is the way that brown people of all backgrounds were racialized as vaguely threatening in post-9/11 America. Another is the Transatlantic slave trade, which gave economic incentives for dehumanizing black people and, eventually in the U.S., created a social structure where people who were only partially black could still be enslaved, which is how you get tan black people like me lol. Another example could be the absorption of various European immigrant groups into whiteness throughout U.S. history, or the effort to separate the Japanese from other East Asians after they beat Russia in a war in 1905.

In general, we're asking "what set racialization in motion?" A war? Colonial expansion? Mass immigration? Capitalism? Usually you don't have just one, and usually race combines with one of those forces to exacerbate a previously-held idea of difference in a society. So all of a sudden those people aren't just different, but they might as well be a different species.

In Arcane, we don't get enough backstory to say anything definitively, but we can assume that the divide between Piltover and Zaun is primarily economic. The game lore suggests some colonization, too. In any case, by the time of the show, there are already:

firmly-established delineations between Piltovans and Zaunites

a stereotyping that hides the complexity of the problems the cities face (see Jayce saying to Viktor that the Zaunites are criminals; of course, he's worried about Jinx, but he's operating on the assumption that the Zaunites are acting up because of their criminality, which hides other motivations for their behavior; in all likelihood, most of them were upset because they couldn't get to work, which would lead to a loss of wages and more economic precarity than they already experience)

a robust system of incarceration, police brutality, and environmental racism leading to disparate health outcomes across groups

and a division of labor that relies on all of the above (though I REALLY wish they'd explain more about the mines I need to KNOW)

So, again, it's not race as such, but it's helpful because we can see that it's not entirely reducible to social class, ether. If it were, Viktor would have had a much easier time, and there would be more economic mobility both up and down the ladder. I think it's more than fair to say that racilization is at work, even though the characters have a wide array of physical features on both sides of the river. Racialization can most certainly happen even when the people involved look mostly alike (see the English and the Irish for the classic example).

Okay, so we've established that some race-y things are going on. What about the second part? What about the real world?

We have to be honest and note that our real-world experiences are going to affect how we engage with these characters. This isn't inherently a bad thing, but it's important that we're aware and cautious, handling the question of race delicately. I, for one, have been really disappointed in some of the audience reception of the show's black characters (and a teeny bit in how I feel like their arcs were rushed compared to the wider cast). I'm not really invested in any ship involving Jayce, not gonna lie (though I will say it takes a lot for me to get invested in a ship in general; I have to really click with it to care), but the hate Mel gets over shipping cannot be separated from mysognoir. It just can't. Likewise, with Ekko, I'm sometimes nervous about descriptions of his body that remind me of the VERY long tradition of fetishizing black men to hell and back. But he also gets the short end of the stick in shipping sometimes, and I think his relatively lower popularity in fandom is likely related to his race.

This is me, a black woman, calling it as I see it. We could also get into Sky, but that's a whole other thing. I think that when we engage with these characters, it's important to note what is actually in the text and what might be a projection of our world's current concepts of race onto the fantasy world.

So, for example, assuming Caitlyn is better at math than Vi because her facial features are East Asian. Vi is Jinx's sister. Vi is better at math, presumably, at least in terms of talent, since Vi wouldn't have gotten to go to school. A way to work in the racialization of the show's setting could be for Vi to express frustration with people think ing she's dumb just because of where she's from, or she could be upset she doesn't know something not because she is a Zaunite but because Zaun is so oppressed that Vi never got a proper education.

Mel is a pretty calm character. If someone wrote her as very angry, for example, I'd be like whoa, sounds like the stereotype that black women are angry is at work here. Mel expresses anger at her mother, but otherwise she's very level-headed. For an example in the setting, perhaps Mel tells a close confidante she's a bit tired of the veneer of civility Piltover can put on. Race works in multiple directions. By saying the Zaunite are the rowdy ones, it's saying Piltovans can't be (not that they actually can't, just under their world's racial logic). How would this play out in Mel's life? Could make for an interesting fic.

One example I can speak on personally, because I'm writing it, is my attempt to engage elements of real-world black radicalism with the Arcane universe. Like, I have lines that Ekko says in one chapter that are deeply inspired by one of the most famous Pan-Africanists in U.S. history. But I can't map that thought onto, say, Mel, just because she's black. Her position in the society is such that real-world blackness doesn't really have anything to do with her outside of her reception by the audience. I do, however, engage that sort of thought with other Zaunite characters, mainly Jinx, despite her being white in the real-world framework. In the setting, she's racialized as a Zaunite, and I'm proceeding accordingly, working with those categories of race instead of the ones I deal with in my real life.

Another thing I'm very wary of is beauty being attached to skin color. I'm a bit wary of skin color being mentioned a lot in fics in general, honestly. In a world where skin color isn't the means by which people are divided, it wouldn't be nearly as worth noting. What about...accents? Perceived intelligence? Did Viktor go to Piltover and have people go "oh, you're so articulate"? I bet he did.

Okay, this is getting very long. Pretty much what I'm trying to say is that the answer is to think about what race does in the real world and then think about how it would work in Arcane or any other fantasy setting. What gets people designated as a race? What stereotypes are associated with them? How do people resist this? and so on.

And on the flip side, we have to be attentive to how race in the real world might be coloring our perceptions of certain characters. By being conscious of this, we can avoid potentially reinforcing real-world racial logic. And by examining what racial logic is and what it does, we can become prepared to deal with it in the real world.

(and yeah I would also not enjoy a showrunner saying it doesn't exist in the universe lol)

#arcane #racialization #rosie's writing desk #this turned out long as hell #but if you're interested it might be worth a read!#thank you for the ask! really was such a blast #a nice end to my day #i love talking about this shit lol #arcane meta #media criticism

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mark-on-you · 25 days

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there is a lot of heel turn 1 content on this blog and I feel like you are eager for someone to ask you what it means to you. so I will ask: what is it that you like about this song so very much? - @cryptic-symbols

Thank you so much for the ask!! I am, without a doubt, a "Beat The Champ" fan. I've been a fan of that album long before the wrestling-itis got a hold of me (and man, it's got me good). Heel Turn 2 is absolutely a stand out from the album, and while it is the more complete of the two, I love the unpolished Heel Turn 1 just as much.

As much as I do really want to talk about Heel Turn 1, I'm not exactly sure what to say about it. So, rambling will ensue.

The ushers and the guys who chuck the popcorn/They feel the rush of stillness in the air

Again, I adore the contrast of the mundane with the transcendent. Beat The Champ is mostly about guys trying to make a few bucks, to stay alive, and intersecting with greatness in the process. The change that is going to occur, the emotional shift, is so powerful that it can be felt from multiple feet away. But that doesn't negate the day to day grind, nor does such a seismic shift stop you from having to pay rent.

Starting on the periphery and then diving into the center of the ring is a really compelling aspect too. It feels like this emotional shift is a black hole, one that we can only comprehend by understanding everything it sucks into itself.

I'm not going to break it down line but line but I just love the phrasing of

I prop myself bolt upright on one hand

There's such a suddenness to the motion, but also a strength and surety. Not only is the change drastic, it's immediately both strong and sure. But also, it's only "on one hand", it's unbalanced, from one extreme to the other. So much is conveyed in so few words it rocks.

Work hard to be a hero all my life/ Always try to turn the other cheek

This line bring me back to one of my favorite goats motifs: being good and paying for it. "I am young and I am good", "try your whole life to be righteous and be good/wind up on your own floor choking on blood", etc. Tragic heroes just really do it for me idk what to tell you.

And, again to bring back the power of the mundane, all the examples of "goodness" are really basic, but in that way more "pure". It's so wholesome, the kind of thing that speaks directly to the morality of a child (but not in a bad way). It also speaks to the child's sense of justice that most people still carry with them.

Plus, it really emphasizes that good is a thing you do, not a thing you are. Which is, a very helpful phrase (that I am stealing from a 100 other ppl), when it comes to not thinking of yourself as evil. But also, when good is a thing you can do, evil becomes a thing you can do. And as such, it becomes REALLY easy to do. But once you turn that way, once you start down a path of destruction, it's going to be a lot harder to pull yourself out of it.

There's a real contrast here between the suddenness of the heel turn, and the imagined eventually face turn which means the long, ugly road of redemption.

I watch my guardian angel leave the building/ I am my only friend /One thing about the good guys that I've noticed /They always beg for mercy in the end

now that! is some just good song writing!!

I love so much about this. The idea of being past mercy, but also instead of turning your back on your better angels, they are simultaneously turning their back on you. It both gives a reason/a justifiable aspect to the turn (that goodness has turned its back on you) while also carrying intense bitterness and resentment for others. Being "right" but acting "wrong".

Further, the contrast of "only friend" to "good guys" re-enforces the idea that heels are alone while babyfaces are in amiable groups. (While this is not true, the feelings that define heel and babyface stables tend to follow a pretty basic evil/good split.)

And, of course, that final separation from the good guys. The realization that you were once of their kind, that good was once a thing you were, but is now just a thing you did. And to do evil can transform into the self perception of being evil.

The answer to this last line, the assumed ending where the main character does something vile and violent is missing from the song itself, but the song doesn't exist without that ending implication. Even if it wasn't called "heel turn 1", you'd know that the singer has come to some dark conclusion.

Anyway, these are only half-formed thoughts, because while I do love talking about my interests this blog is, at base, about me screaming incoherently.

#heel turn 1 #roddy speaks

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aihoshiino · 6 months

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hello! I really enjoy your way of looking at oshi no ko so I wanted to know your pov on something that's been bugging me throughout the manga! do you think Miyako remembers the twins being 'gods' early in their lives?? I feel that as much as her character has evolved past the whole 'i'll sell Ai's secret for money and fame as revenge' it's still weird that she, as someone who clearly was witness to something supernatural for AT LEAST a year doesn't like... bring it up at all? or seems to actually remember even...

like I can see it being explained away as 'oh maybe as they grow up they forget, so it makes no sense to bring it up now' but also I'm just curious as to when the twins stopped using that as a way to get whatever they wanted lol.

like idk I know that bringing up that bit of silly lore from volume one into the world of the movie arc is out of place at best but also! I just feel like Miyako either gaslighted herself into thinking she was delusional for a year or she's too afraid to bring it up because then she'll sound insane.

this piece of silly lore will chase me to the grave if it isn't brought up again and I need someone else's thoughts cause sometimes I feel like it was quietly retconned.... I'm rambling. anyway! I love your Tumblr!

THANK U FOR THE LOVELY MESSAGE, ANON!! I feel like i say this every single time but it really does make me so wibbly to know so many people vibe with my OnK takes to this degree lol

tragically... I do not have a clever answer for this one, unfortunately!!! Funnily enough though, I did have a bit of a chat about it recently with my friend Silvie (@relares) who has been watching the anime for the first time with me, and it kind of rattled some of my thoughts about the scene loose.

I think a lot of volume 1, while it works really well in isolation, has a lot of what me and Silvie ended up calling 'clunk' in hindsight where it's clear that Akasaka was just... not quite writing the Oshi no Ko that the story ended up becoming, if that makes sense. This is understandable given that at that point, he and Mengo were literally not working on the Oshi no Ko we ended up getting! The decision to kill Ai and re-adjust the series trajectory is one that was made during serialization and it meant the two of them had to course correct a lot of stuff extremely quickly. For the most part, I think they did a shockingly good job of handling that genre shift to the point where a lot of the more jarring elements actually just help in making that shift feel more effective - it makes the horror of Ai's death feel just as sudden and shocking and life-altering to the reader on a storytelling level as it does on a very literal one to Aqua and Ruby.

Unfortunately, it also means there's a lot of choices made in terms of like... punchlines and characterization decisions that I don't think Akasaka would necessarily have made if he had the benefit of foresight and I think Miyako is definitely a victim – or I guess more of a prime example of that.

Miyako as she ends up functioning in volume one is both shockingly different in terms of characterization compared to the Miyako we get from volume two onwards and also pretty transparently kind of just a vehicle/plot device to give the twins an adult ally without revealing themselves to Ai prematurely. The twins manipulating Miyako in such an overtly silly way is also exactly the kind of absurdist problem solving that works fine in a comedy, where your suspension of disbelief is a lot different. I think Akasaka was still very much in Kaguya-sama mode while writing those early chapters and that kind of comedy beat as problem solving bit would feel really at home in an Oshi no Ko that was more tonally in line with Kaguya-sama... but that ultimately isn't the Oshi no Ko it became, so it feels weird.

In a lot of ways, the timeskip between volume 1 and 2 is sort of a soft reset for the series in terms of tone and genre and it allows the manga to sort of smooth out a bit of that clunk going onwards. This is why I think the Sweet Today arc is the best post-timeskip arc in the manga because it's the one that best balances the comedy, drama and industry commentary in a way it never quite managed again - not that all the other arcs are bad, but they generally tip pretty far in one of those three directions in a way that leaves the others high and dry.

TO UH, ACTUALLY ADDRESS YOUR QUESTION THOUGH... I honestly think this aspect of the story has been retconned! Or at least, that Akasaka is purposely not addressing it because he realizes it was a misstep and so he's just quietly pretending it didn't happen lol. It isn't addressed even in places we would expect it to be and Miyako herself never even once mentions it even when we get peeks directly into her head, so I honestly think Akasaka kind of wrote himself into a corner with it and decided to just ignore it.

That's nowhere near as fun as an in-character explanation though so I like to think Miyako thinks it was just a tripped out dream she had once and since Ruby and Aqua don't remember it, it's just never come up again. If she got drunk enough around them, though, she'd ramble about it to them while Ruby and Aqua lock eyes with each other and just have a moment of silent sibling communication like. oh my god. did we really do that????

For as serious as it is a lot of the time, Oshi no Ko is a pretty silly manga when you get down to it, eh....

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #miyako saitou #saitou miyako

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compassionatereminders · 1 year

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I'm just very confused right now and. i don't know why I'm even writing this down. i guess i want reassurance through this existential/identity crisis of mine. i want someone to listen. idk anymore.

I recently found out that i've been lying a lot but only by accident, like. I'm going to have to explain my mental process with colors and I'm hoping it makes sense.

My memories kind of have "sets" and with those sets comes the slight "personality shifts". Those shifts are kind of like, color gradients??? Like it doesn't happen all of a sudden, not like one moment I'm red then I'm blue, it's more like. i wake up red, then throughout the day red just ever so slowly fades into orange then yellow then i sleep and wake up I'm between green and blue. And it just goes on and on and on and on.

So I have different colors. Each main color (primaries and secondaries) has their own set of memories. But it is kinda a fixed cycle, i just don't know all the colors in there, so they have a semipermanent fixed position in the gradient but also there's multiple gradients and I'm basically colorblind in this analogy. Each color can access the sets of the ones beside them, ergo orange can access red and yellows sets etc. But the details are kinda muddled. The specifics aren't really there, a lot of the details aren't clear etc.

But since they have different sets of memories that means I'm always functioning with minimum knowledge about my self and my life. And sometimes those memories are outdated.

Like i told my classmates i do the bare minimum of conversations with my family since that's always been the case since I was a child, it's not going to change is it? it fucking did. We talk now, that's a thing that actually happens. Like it's meaningless pointless small talk but it's talk.

I'm not really averse to lying but holy shit how many times have I done it without knowing. How many people have figured I'm lying right to their faces when i didn't ever know I'm lying. what the fuck.

like, I'm not a fucking monster for this am i??? i feel like I'm just making excuses. idk. im just 16 why is my life so needlessly complicated :/

(also ps I've sent an ask about wanting to drop out of high school bc of mental health issues but my mother wouldn't let me and i just remembered it after typing that last bit. gradient shift in action lmao i feel so hyper mentally)

I hope your days get better <3 (also hope this isn't a bother lol this feels more like talking at you than to you)

It is not a lie if you are not aware it isn't true while you're saying it. It might be misinformation - even harmful misinformation - but it's not lying. And it's not morally wrong in the way deliberately lying to people is in most cases. You are not a monster in any sense. You may have serious issues with your memories and your interpretation of them, but that's not a moral failure, it's a mental health issue or a cognitive problem at worst

#chat with kat

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paellegere · 4 months

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final thoughts: supernatural season 6

what an interesting season. i think what i'm most surprised about is how strikingly different this season is compared to its predecessors. maybe i only picked up on it because i knew in advance that the showrunner shifted from kripke to gamble, but i still think it's fascinating to see how much can change just be putting someone new in charge.

i don't remember how i felt about season 6 the first time i watched it, but rewatching it now it definitely feels like "the beginning of the end" to me. like it's clear that it's all downhill from here, now that the original concept and plot has run its course. i wouldn't really say it's bad, but it lacked the cohesion and direction that the original 5 seasons had.

my main critique is probably that it felt like it jumped all over the place. it felt like there were three small plots shoved into one season, rather than being one overarching plot with smaller arcs. the eve thing in particular disappoints me, since she was only around for a few episodes before she got got. it calls into question her authority and power and makes her seem like not as big a deal as they said she was. mother of all monsters? yeah, nbd. got her in one try. i would have liked to see more failures or consequences on sam and dean's part as they tried to take her down—maybe even make her the season 6 big bad and then focus on cas's bullshit in season 7. idk, i think it could have been handled a lot better, but as it stands eve doesn't really stand out to me as being a monster more threatening than, say, a vampire. hell, a vampire posed more threat to the winchesters than eve, since dean actually got turned by one and suffered the consequences of it.

(i really liked the vampire episode. they should do more like that.)

i TRULY don't understand the whole "burning demon bones" nonsense. it's set up to be some great way to gank a demon, as if they don't have a demon-killing knife AND exorcism spells. i tried to rationalize it at first as like "well this way they don't have to be near the demon" which should work for lesser demons who can't teleport—but hello? crowley can. and he does. "oh but he was in the devil's trap" then use the demon-killing knife? throw it at him. idk it just seemed like a very weird thing to introduce, and the pomp and circumstance it got really seemed overblown compared to what it actually is: another mundane option for killing demons to put in their arsenal.

i think they could have stood to put a little more foreshadowing in the early episodes of this season, too. when cas started getting shady all of a sudden it felt more like an about-face than a revelation, so i would have preferred more puzzle pieces be presented from the start.

i DO really like how they develop the soul in this season, and what their philosophy about souls is. the idea that "caring" is the primary function of the soul. like sympathy, empathy, desire, worry—all the emotions that connect you to another person, basically. that's an interesting way to play the idea of a soul, and i mostly like how it was executed. i was expecting "soullessness" to be more demonic in nature, so i like that the show makes a poignant distinction between "corrupted soul" and "no soul." my major critique here is regarding sam's lust for women, which seems extremely contradictory to the established worldbuilding. like having a sex drive independent of emotion is fine, but there are many moments in the season where sam checks out women or watches them appraisingly, which indicates some level of desire—and why would a guy with no soul care about sexual attraction? doesn't make a lot of sense. this is where i really think the writers muddied the distinction between demonic and soulless, and i couldn't help but roll my eyes every time they whipped out another one of those moments.

oh and i liked all of the crowley/bobby interactions. few and far between, but god they did a great job with it. i like their parallels (why do they have the same favorite curse. that's so unnecessarily homoerotic), and the tension between them is the exact type i like in my ships. there's a maturity and age to them which gives their interactions a nice spice and flavor, so i hope there are more moments like these in season 7 too.

overall though i think the season was pretty lackluster. it makes sense in a lot of ways since they're scrambling to find a plot after the original story finished, and it's definitely a transitional season. but i realize now that there's a very big reason why i remember so much of the first 5 seasons and so little of anything past that. but i believe that's the gist of my thoughts. season 7 is next! since i clearly don't know when to stop lmao

#liveblogging: supernatural #supernatural #i want to watch the north water first. i got intrigued. maybe another short series too before i get into season 7 #this damn show is LONG i have to pace myself if i ever want to watch anything else lmao #i'm thinking i'll get to s7 sometime next week though. against my better judgment i am in fact excited for it. lol #lmao even #.txt #spn reviews

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kitcat-italica · 1 year

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A very specific and complain-y rant that is probably an example of kitcat's thin-skinned-ness incoming:

There's been 2 major instances this week of my fandom spaces being invaded, and I'm so fucking tired of it.

To clarify: I don't mean 'invaded' in the sense that I found some discourse I didn't like on Reddit, or people started showing up with bad faith takes in the Tumblr tags. Those are annoying, but they're not my fandom spaces — they're public spaces. Anyone can post whatever they'd like. You explore the public spaces of the internet at your own risk.

What I mean by 'invasion' is because these incidents happened on my own specific corners of the internet I have curated for my own fandom experience — namely my AO3 account of my own fic, and an invite-only discord server specific to a particular fandom. (Theoretically anyone out there could join that server, since the invite links are floating out there in public spaces? But the fandom is relatively small, and the number of active users on the server even smaller, so my experience of interacting with people on there qualifies it as a private fandom space.)

I am very protective of my private fandom spaces. I curate my internet experience through these spaces to be fun happy escapism from reality with like-minded people. If you find your way into my private fandom spaces, I would hope the understood expectation is that you add to that experience. Maybe that was too much to ask, idk.

Basically what happened was:

1. I started getting a bunch of comments on a fic from someone without an account. They kept changing their anon name to be different names? But it was obvious it was the same person. And they took the story that means a lot to me, and just started quoting certain parts of it wildly out of context, not really making coherent points and just kind of rambling, and making gross assumptions about it. I'm not really sure what response they're hoping to get? It's the strangest troll I've ever received, but I felt all kinds of gross after reading their 13 comments of this nature over the last 3 days.

2. Yesterday me and my discord server buddies were talking about the parts of canon that we really like, good-naturedly joking about parts of it, having fun. When all of a sudden, someone butts in to say that one of the parts I mentioned was one of the worst things about it that they didn't like. It was such an abrupt tone shift from the fun conversation that it really caught me off-guard? I was so taken aback I just commented "agree to disagree :)" and just shut down, and didn't participate in the conversation for the rest of the night.

It's so frustrating and heartbreaking to me, because it's not like I went trawling through public spaces and found some bad takes that I felt icky about. No, these are instances of people coming into my private internet spaces, and intentionally making thoughtless comments to bring down my (and maybe other people's) fun time. Maybe one of these instances would've rolled off me after an initial "ick" response, but the fact that it's been piling up on me in the last few days has just made it dig into my skin and stick there.

Part of me really doesn't want to participate in fandom anymore. I hadn't updated that AO3 fic for years now, but I was toying with the idea of picking it back up again. But now I squirm every time I think about what the potential response might be, if it's now on the radar of people like that. As for the discord server, maybe I'll bring it up to one of the mods, but it's not like the person did anything against the rules? They were just expressing their opinion like we all were. But I def don't feel as comfortable talking on there anymore.

I know I'm being very thin-skinned about all this, and in the grand scheme of things this is not that big of a problem. But it still feels awful, and a big piece of joy in my life has been shaken and gives me anxiety when I step into those spaces I used to enjoy.

#personal

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inactive02939 · 2 years

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Physical appearance- I'm around 5 foot 3 inches and I have straight (kind of fluffy if its just been washed) split dyed pink and black hair that goes just past my shoulders (wanna cut it and dye it all black though) I have hazel eyes and I'm really small in general-

Personality- I'm super shy when you first meet me. Like I'll probably give you little to no response but if you keep talking to me consistently and a lot then I'll get comfy enough to give you my actual responses. I'm really awkward and don't know how to express myself in words (i can over text but not in real life) so I'm mostly better at offering physical affection or gifts or actions. I'm super sarcastic but I can be serious in serious situations. I hate being in control of almost anything. I'm really stubborn and pessimistic and super persistent when I really want something. I'm also a really caring and nice person (and a people pleaser which isnt always good for me-) Uhh idk what else-

Identity: My name's JJ, Im genderfluid (all pronouns), and bisexual!!

I have anxiety and depression

Style: I really love cute outfits but I have no sense of style so I don't even try- I mostly wear leggings, sweatpants and hoodies out and around the house I wear those plus pajama pants and oversized shirts. For shoes I like Converse or Adidas

Ummm, if you could give me an MHA character and if it could be a boy I'd really appreciate that!! (i like girls too but I like mha boys more than the girls in a romantic way for the most part) thank you if you get around to doing this :)) Make sure you take care of yourself <3

you've been matched with kaminari denki!!

he didn't really care about your shyness at first

actually, he thought you were playing hard to get.

eventually he broke your shell and you two started having conversations together during training

and for him, it wasn't a sudden realization. he knew he liked you from the start.

WILL give you his hoodie if you lose yours. this guy is boyfriend material

didn't really understand what genderfluid meant but you explained it to him and he went "oh.. what?"

he still supports you and won't hesitate to come to your defense when it comes to your sexual orientation and gender.

in summary he's a super supportive idiot who's hopelessly in love.

"J, that was awesome!" he beamed at the clever nickname for you and fistbumped you. you two had just finished your training session together, and it was time to go home-- some kids had plans with their families or friends, and some just wanted to continue training, but denki knew he was going to ask you out to prom. today was the day. he took a breath.

"wannagotopromwithme?"

shock slowly creeps over you. he's asking you to what? you must have heard him wrong. you shift uncomfortably in your clothes and look at him again, searching his daffodil eyes for whatever he said. "um.. what?" you mutter back to him as you watch his face gradually contort into a scared expression.

"to prom. with me. we could dance! it'll be totally cool." once he realized you were just confused, his confidence boosted by a million times what it had been just half a minute ago. he gently took one of your hands and spun you around. you laugh.

"so what's your answer, JJ?" he got a bit close to your face for your comfort, but you could feel the excitement on him.

"yeah, sure!"

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alltheworldsinmyhead · 3 years

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ON FEYSAND’S PLOTLINE IN ACOSF

!!!!MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE ACOSF!!!!

Let’s be honest for a while, okay?

ACOCF had potential to be SJM’s best book, if not for any other reason then because of the sheer idea of it. Coming-of-age, healing story of the most complex and polarizing character she has ever created set in the time of peace, away from the familiar setting (according to the later changed concept which still remains in the snippet at the end of ACOFAS), development of her arguably most feisty and angsty love story... It could be her absolute trumph. Even with the change to stick to Velaris instead of exploring the Illyrian culture of the Mountains and with the added conflict of the Mortal Queens and Koshei, it still could work quite well.

It didn’t. For many, many reasons, but the most important one, in my opinion, being the feysand pregnancy plot.

Nothing about this plotline made sense. Not a single thing. From start to finish, it was an absolute disaster from the character-writing POV, from the narration POV, from every single context of it. It broke the rules of real-life logic, it broke the rules of this fantasy world setting and it completely exposed that Rhysand, while not a bad guy, is a pretty terrible partner, even worse ruler and an absolutely terrible contender for the High King title.

Let’s break this whole mess down (and expect this post to be mammoth-sized. it’s not my fault, though, write to SJM if you have any complains):

1) Feyre, 21, decides to get pregnant, even though less than a year earlier, she expresses the delight with not being forced to bear children to her new mate and told him herself she wants to wait a while and enjoy her life with him. Feyre decides she wants a baby though and Rhysand goes along with it, even though he is aware how young Feyre is and how hard her life has been up until this point. He wants a baby too much to have an honest discussion with Feyre about it, to stop and wonder what is the reason for her sudden change of heart, to reassure her that they have a lot of time ahead of them and don’t need to rush. No. She mades a sudden decision to have a baby after A YEAR OF MARRIAGE and not much more of being turned fae, JUST AFTER having her whole world put upside down, having received a completely new title and responsibilities, surviving the wat and being mated. Great.

2) Feyre decides to get pregnant and Rhys goes along with it less than a year after the end of the bloody war. It is politically a delicate time, everyone is still not sure how the balance will shift, some countries don;t want to sign the peace treaty, etc. There are a lot of enemies and a lot of turmoil remaining. But sure. Let’s have a baby. Perfect time to add yet another target, another weakness that can be use by the Mortal Queens, Beron or whatever else with malicious intent towards the Night Court.

2) Feyre gets pregnant after approximately a year of trying. I know healthy people of reproductive age for whom it takes ages more than this. Fae’s pregnancies are rare af and precious and happen once in a blue moon, but ofc SJM broke the world’s rules for her darling Feyre. And again, for Kallas and Vivianne who are also expecting the baby, even though it has been a maximum of 3 years since they’ve mated. 3 years is also not a particularly long time to try to have a baby for those who have issues with their reproductive systems like Fae women. Thank you, next.

3) Rhys has unprotected sex with Feyre in her Illyrian form when she conceives, even though he knows full well having a winged baby would kill her. He does it anyway, for shits and giggles apparently. They probably have sex in the sky above Velaris, for all we know.

4) The baby has wings. Now, the whole explanation with Illyrian wings being bony (bc they resemble bat wings) and Seraphin ones being more flexible (bc they resemble bird ones) is so insanely stupid that it takes around 3 seconds to wikipedia this shit and find out it’s exactly the opposite. But okay, the baby has wings and Feyre will die while giving birth, along with the baby. Madja forbids Feyre from turning into an Illyrian to carry the pregnancy because it MIGHT hurt the baby. Now, remember, Feyre conceived while in Illyrian form and then turned into High Fae. The baby survived it just fine. The baby MIGHT be hurt by Feyre turning .... but it will FOR SURE die if she stays High Fae and Feyre will too. Idk about you, but I would take the risk of MIGHT instead of FOR SURE. Especially when she is already in labour and dying. Cauldron or Nesta or idk who alters Feyre’s pelvis after the baby is cut out of her for no apparent reason but to allow feysand to make exactly the same mistakes later on. How convinient. And Nesta also alters her own pelvis bc god forbid she won’t be able give Cassian babies like the little useful mate she is now. She should’ve probably done it with Elain too, just in case she decides to fuck Az in the future, because fuck consequences and fuck the stakes in the story that make the readers actually CARE about characters bc they know the author may actually kill them and not save their life every fucking time.

5) I don’t even want to comment on the fact Rhys hid the true danger of this pregnancy for Feyre and their family went along with it. It is absolutely disgusting. And Nesta telling her and that being condemned as the act of the ultimate cruelty which is a final straw to break her self-loathing back.... is abhorrent. It made my sick, actually, phisically sick. There is no justification for it. No at all. And the fact that they did not even consider abortion sends a message that I really don’t want to think too much about it. Feyre was 2 months along when they learned the baby is winged. 2 months. 8 weeks. It wasn’t a baby yet, let’s be honest. They could’ve at least discussed it. She - oh my god, I cannot believe SJM wrote it this way, I’m gonna be sick.

6) For the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, they have no plan to really help her. Labour plan? Haven’t heard if it. They have money and power and access to the healers of the whole land. And did not figure out how to stop her from bleeding out after a fucking C-section. THIS WORLD HAS MAGIC AND THEY COULDN’T STOP HER FROM BLEEDING OUT AFTER A FUCKING C-SECTION. Didn’t even ask Thesan, the High Lord of Healing, to be present. Cassian had guts hanging out of his stomach and survived. Az was fucking slashed apart in Hybern and survived. But yeah, Feyre was on a brink of death after a C-section. Great, Sarah. Keep it up. Let’s force the thought into young girls’ heads that labour is the most lethal thing ever, why not.

7) Also, for the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, Rhys keeps quiet about this idiotic bargain. He, as far as we know, doesn’t make any plans for the moment when him and Feyre and possibly their baby are dead. If they died and baby survived.. who would take care of it? Does Rhys have a conversation with his family about it? NAH. Doesn’t write any sort of plan how to keep the Court going, doesn’t inform even the closest of his co-workers how they should proceed to act after he’s gone and his and Feyre’s power go to god-knows-who. Their deaths would mean a sure chaos for the weakend and fragile Prythian and the Night Court especially and yet nor Rhys nor Feyre make any sort of preparations for it. Rhys doesn’t tell his brothers or Mor or HIS SECOND IN COMMAND they will all soon have to somehow manage without him. He was about to just leave them to their own devices and told them in the last. possible. moment.

And this man - this man is, according to Amren, the best candidate to handle the whole country? To unite it? This fool who makes idiotic bargains, who thinks first about his cock and his own selfish desires and considers his subjects and his responsibilities as a High Lord last and least important of all? Who has so much trust in his wife, in his High Lady, the mother of his son that he doesn’t tell her she will almost surely die on a birthing bed because it MAY UPSET HER?

This plotline was the straw that broke my back. ACOTAR, at it’s heart has always been a ya fantasy with added ‘spice’ and I was willing to bend my critical-thinking skills in many cases and forget and forgive many smaller idiotic issues in this series. But this? It is not idiotic. It is massive and stupid to the point when it becomes insulting to the reader. It was a plot straight out of a bad fanfic, not something that should be in a published book written by someone who writes for a living. You could even argue that Twilight has handled this toxic trope better. I have wasted my money on this book and thinking about it will always be painful for me. So yeah.

ACOSF could be great. Ended up quite pathetic.

#acosf #acosf spoilers #a court of silver flames #rhysand #feysand

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