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celestie0 · 2 months

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gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff ch.9 words you've been wanting to hear

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader (f)

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot, marijuana use, sexism, sexual harassment (verbal only)

ᰔ chapter. 9/x (probably 12)

ᰔ words. 15.6k (WHY DO THEY KEEP GETTING LONGER)

a/n. HELLO MY DEAR KICKOFF READERS IVE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH i am soooo sorry for the wait on this one. this chapter felt very vulnerable to write for some reason lmfao, but i really hope it was worth the wait :''') see you at the bottom!! if there are typos or some things don't make sense i'm so sorry i literally gave up on proofreading this i just ended up raw-doggin it and then posting it

nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 :: ch6 :: ch7 :: ch8 :: ch9 :: ch10 (pending)

☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1

♬.*ﾟplaylist

an additional author's note. hellooo ellie here. there are some additional warnings/tags for this chapter, i added them to the tags above, so if you know you have any sort of triggers, please refer to them before reading! but if you don't have any and don't want to be spoiled ab anything then you can keep reading lol. thank youu <33

The restaurant address that Kai sent you was just a ten minute taxi ride away, save for the five minutes you spent trying to evasively maneuver through the hotel lobby in order to avoid running into people you’re not too keen on seeing right now, a list that stacks up to just one person at this moment.

It’s a Korean barbecue place, it’s been ages since you’ve been to one, probably since they’re way too expensive for any sort of outing you could afford these days, but the crisp sizzling sounds of the grills and the savory air has your mouth watering in a way that makes you indifferent to the cost. Anything to get this churning feeling out of your stomach.

It’s instantly brought to your attention that Hana’s tipsy off of Soju because she’s slid out of the booth the second you emerge to the tablestide, and she’s onto her feet to pull you into a hug. You hug her back.

“I’m ssssoooooooo glad you’re—hic—here,” she says, voice sounding loud near your ear, but her embrace is surprisingly calming to you.

Her face appears flushed when you pull away, and you give her a smile and a kind hold of her elbow. “I’m happy to be here, sorry for coming late, I just decided I wanted to have dinner with you all.”

Minato is pulling on Hana’s arm to get her to sit down, which she finally agrees to, and you glance to the left side of the table where Kai sat, meticulously turning over pieces of meat on the grill. His eyes are on you, and the seat next to him is empty.

“You look nice,” he says, eyes falling to your lap under the table once you’ve taken a seat next to him.

Your eyes fall to your lap as well. “Oh. Thanks. I wasn’t really trying to look any sort of way, though.” Just faded jeans with a few rips & holes you made yourself, way back in high school when that sort of thing was trendy.

“I know,” he says, smirk heard perfectly through his words, “I like that.”

You ignore him, a fleeting thought passing through your head of how annoyingly forward men are to women they’ve met within a day, just something you’ve noticed recently, and then you’re accepting the glass of Soju that Minato’s poured for you. Quick to tip it back, you feel a burn on your tongue that’s just enough to distract.

“Today’s game was pretty interesting,” Minato speaks up, picking up a few pieces off the grill with his chop sticks and placing them on Hana’s plate first before taking some for himself. You find the gesture sweet. “The first half was intense.”

Hana nods enthusiastically, elbows rested on the tabletop as she waves her hands around in the air. “Uh huh, uh huh, the boys kicked the ball like whoosh. Goes all over the place! Can’t get a—hic—can’t get a single shot. No, I mean me, I can’t get a camera shot. Not them, they can get the shots of goals. The goals of shots? Huh.”

“Alright, you’ve had enough,” Minato grumbles as he drags the glass of Soju that she was nursing away from her.

Kai lets out a laugh beside you, his knee bumping against yours under the table. “I’ve watched so many of these soccer games for this job, and I’ve still got no damn clue what the rules are.”

You blink down at your empty plate for a second before grabbing the silver chopsticks laid neatly on your napkin, and taking some food from the center of the table. “Really? I’ve only been to a couple, and I feel like I get the gist of it.” Maybe it’s because you had a personal interest, though.

Kai lets out a low whistle next to you. “Okay, you’re a smartass then.”

You give him a sidewards glance. “Maybe you’re just dumb?”

Your own words startle you a bit. Minato lets a laugh out, but under his breath, while Hana does absolutely nothing to conceal hers. Kai’s eyes just widen. You bite down on a carrot stick.

“Hey, hey, hey, y/n,” Hana chirps, tapping at your wrist, “do you know any of the soccer players? Utahime said you doooo.”

You swallow slowly to buy yourself time, but give a preliminary shake of your head before answering, “no, not really.” You catch a whiff of the cologne on your wrist when you lift your glass to your lips.

“Oh,” she sulks her shoulders and then sinks down into the booth again, her head falling onto Minato’s shoulder. The man stiffens a bit and then there’s a content smile playing at his lips. A hint of a smile develops on your face too at the sight when you put two and two together. What an adorable little crush. It makes you feel sick.

Kai pours you some more Soju the second you drink down the last of it in your glass, and you nod to him as a thanks. “Pretty sure most of my photos from the first half are fucked,” he says, dragging the opening of the bottle against the rim of your glass before pulling it away, “didn’t realize until way later that my aperture was way off.”

You bring the glass to your lips, inhaling before taking a sip. You’re about to speak up about that when Minato beats you to it.

“Are you serious?” he asks, disappointed, like they’re suddenly talking business now. “I better see some good shots. Your side was where most of the action took place. Like that through-pass, tight behind the defensive line, from Nanami Kento to Gojo Satoru before he sunk it a couple mins before the half ended.”

You choke a little on your Soju at the mention of Gojo’s name, and then all three of them are looking at you. You wave a hand in front of your face. “Sorry.”

Kai grumbles something under his breath and then stuffs a piece of pork belly into his mouth. “Yeah, whatever, man. I’m pretty sure I got some good ones. Don’t worry.”

Dinner goes on like that, where you count the number of times Kai thinks that someone saying something funny across the table is an excuse to press his thigh against yours, but at least the cute way that Hana and Minato seem to inch closer to one another all night is enough to put you at some sort of bitter ease. But that unsettling feeling in your stomach from a couple of hours ago still lingers.

The four of you stand outside the restaurant, heels rocking back and forth in the cold as you all take up the last chance to debrief the day, and then Minato’s glancing at his watch.

“Alright, it’s probably time to head back. We can all share a ride to the hotel, it’s cheaper that way,” Minato says. Hana’s clinging to his sleeve.

“Oh, uh, I was going to stay here. There’s a cool camera shop around the corner. I was gonna check it out,” Kai says, pointing over his shoulder before glancing at you. “Wanna come? I saw they’ve got used film cameras.”

You twiddle with the hotel key card in your pocket. It’s cheap plastic, could break easily with just the right amount of pressure. Like your resolve right now. “Sure.”

He smiles at you.

“Alright, well I need to get this one back to her room,” Minato says with a sigh, pointing to Hana, “so I’ll see you all at the next game?”

You and Kai nod at him and then watch as he walks away with Hana on his arm towards the curb, pulling his phone out to call for a ride.

“Where’s this camera shop at?” you ask Kai once the silence between the two of you stretches out a little too long.

“It really is just around the corner,” he says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He starts walking down the row of miscellaneous shops and establishments under dim street lighting, and you follow after him before the two of you circle to the adjacent end. A tiny shop in the distance catches your eye. The LED sign above the storefront was blinking sporadically, and read 17th St Camera & Rentals, except half the letters were extinct of any light. Next to it was a 24/7 liquor store.

It’s only when you walk right up to it that you realize the sign dangling behind the glass door that says closed.

“Oh. Bummer,” Kai comments in a flat tone. “I swear it was open before I got to the restaurant.”

You sigh, pulling your phone out to glance at the time. “Yeah, at 8pm? It’s past 10 now.”

He looks at you and taps the camera case still hung at his neck. “That’s fine. I’ve still got a camera to show you, anyways.”

You blink your eyes at him, suddenly feeling a bit exhausted and then glance over your shoulder at the curb of the street to see if Minato & Hana were still there waiting for a ride. You don’t see them anymore.

A distraction. Wasn’t that what you wanted?

“Yeah, show me.”

Kai seems to know the area better than you, since he walks down the haphazardly lain sheets of concrete across the ground with more confidence than a tourist would. The thought occurs to you that maybe the newsletter photographers have eaten here before during their time in Kyoto.

“What made you start working with the newsletter?” you ask, glancing at him as the two of you walk down further, into what seems like a neighborhood.

He shrugs. “First job I could find out of college. I had a lot of freelance experience, so I’m assuming that’s why they hired me.” He nudges your arm with his elbow. “What about you?”

“I’ve known Utahime for a while. She was impressed with my work.”

“Ahh, connections,” he muses, “smart. That’ll get you far as an artist.”

He suddenly stops walking and peers off to the right, into a darkness that you can’t really make anything out of until you’ve spent a few seconds staring too. He walks in that direction, the loud echoing stomps of his boots on concrete no longer audible once he crosses the threshold onto grass, and you follow behind to what seems like a deserted children’s park. You wish there were more trees in the city. There are a lot here in the countryside, and it makes you homesick for something you’re not even sure of.

A gust of wind brushes through, rattling the set of swings hung on rusty chains. The wood chips underneath your feet feel stale, with no snap to them at all as you follow Kai through the playhouses set up in connected fashion. There are two picnic benches, one looks like it’s been freshly painted with faux effort to improve its image in the line of sight of the street, while the other has red paint peeled back to reveal bronze underneath the moonlight, neglected and tucked behind a few trees. The latter is what he chooses.

He slides into the bench, and he shakes his head when he sees you try to take a seat on the other side before patting at the seat beside him. “It’d be easier for you to take a look at my side.”

He has a point, so you sit next to him instead. Although at this point in the night, you were feigning interest. He zips his camera bag open and you take a better look at the lens. There’s no way it was as cheap as he told you it was.

“There’s no way this was as cheap as you told me it was,” you say.

He laughs, pulling the camera out and handing it to you. “Yeah, maybe the guy cut me a deal since I’ve bought from him before.”

You’re smart enough to put the strap around your neck, even though you’re only holding it a few inches above the table, because a camera like this deserves the care and respect. The material is minimalist and sleek, and it’s heavy in your hands. You click the shutter button, screen coming to life with a few mechanic chirps. “Woah. Is it LCD or OLED?”

“LCD.”

“That’s nice,” you say, “paying for the OLED just seems silly to me.”

“I concur, Canon. Color accuracy is king.”

He shuffles to pull something out of his pocket while you continue to inspect the camera in your hands, and you see him fidget with said thing over the table in the corner of your eye. The flick of something and the light of something makes you turn your head to face him, and he’s pinching the end of a joint to his mouth, lighting the other end.

He gives you a glance when you stare for too long, inhaling from it before pulling it from his mouth. “What?” You can see the smoke leave his mouth in the chill of the air.

“Is that why you chose the secluded bench?”

“I did? Didn’t even notice.”

You blink at him, and he places his elbow on the table to lean closer to you.

“Do you mind it?” he asks.

“No, not really.”

“Wanna smoke with me?” Two fingers pinching the origin of smoke tilt towards you. “This is my good weed, though, so, I charge by the drag.”

“That’s ridiculous, and no thanks. It doesn’t suit me.”

He lets out a laugh, releasing whatever tension he was building in your space, and the smell of weed is nauseating, but at least it's a new sensation to you.

“You’ve gotta be the only film major on the planet that doesn’t smoke weed. How do you manage?” he asks, the orange flicker of his joint being the only color you can distinctly see under the similarly flickering street lights.

Your finger traces the rim of the camera lens and is careful to not smudge the glass. “I think I manage just fine.”

“Yeah. With delusion,” he says, coughing, scattering smoke into the air this time instead of a clean blow.

You turn a bit in your seat to face him more, placing the camera down. “You’re extremely blunt.”

His eyebrow raises in amusement and you close your eyes with annoyance at the pun. You brush it off.

“I mean, seriously, I get you’re probably just looking out for me, I guess. I appreciate that. But do you really think my dreams of becoming a filmmaker are that far-fetched?” you ask. There’s a crack to your voice at the end that you didn’t like.

He sighs, setting his wrist down on the table. There’s a long pause where he thinks about what to say. Probably the most you’ve seen him consider what words leave his mouth next. “I was in the same shoes as you, y/n. A couple years ago. I, too, had big dreams of making movies. I was going to apply to film grad school as well, although you’re shooting higher than I was at the time. There’s no way I would’ve gotten into UTokyo’s.” He tilts his head to the side a few times while looking straight off ahead. “I sent scripts in everywhere. To every fucking production company, creative agency, you name it. Never got a callback, not even once. While all my fellow grads were landing decent, respectable jobs.” He brings the joint to his mouth again, but he doesn’t inhale, just bitterly bites it. “I could’ve went on like that, but,” his brow furrows, “I’ve seen my peers torture themselves for years for those dreams of theirs. I swore I wouldn’t be one of them. Because they’re all delusional fucks.” He finally glances at you. “Are you one, too?”

Your shoulders drop a little and your lips purse. “I don’t know yet. It’s too early to say.”

“It’s never too early to say, if the outcome is all the same,” he tells you.

You consider his words for a moment. It’s the easy way out. You should consider yourself lucky. Everyone wants a reason, a sign, to turn away from the one thing they’re scared to think about. And here he was, giving that to you on a silver platter.

But if what you wanted was really all that fragile, then it means there’s nothing to show for any of it. For all the effort it took you to get here, and all the effort you’re still willing to give.

“I’ll keep going until I fail,” you say, “or until I succeed.” It’s not really something you say for him, but for yourself.

He juts his bottom lip out and raises his eyebrows, slowly nodding his head, like he’s impressed by you. But his posture remains lax. “I mean, you’re working this job. You’ve got some sort of plan, at least. It’s not like I’m your parent to tell you what to do and what not to do.” He finally takes another drag, eyebrows pinching together at the same time his fingers pinch close to the burn of his joint to pull it away. “What’s that one saying? You can take a horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink.”

“Wow. You don’t sound a day older than sixty-five.”

He smirks at you. “You’ve got a lot of attitude, Canon. Where does it come from?”

You sink a little in your seat, turning away from him to look down at your hands that were still messing with the features of his camera. “My annoying feelings lately.”

“Feelings about what?”

You consider telling the truth. But you don’t. “My car is in repair and I’m not sure I can afford to pay for the bill, since things keep coming up with it.” It was the thing at the top of your mind at the moment though, for some reason, so partially truthful.

He laughs. “Yeah, cars have a way of doing that when you’re finally getting caught up on bills.”

“At what point does spontaneously picking up random, obscure jobs go from omg I’m so excited to have this opportunity to I just need the money?” you ask.

“You mean you’re not already at that point yet?” he says with a scoff. “Soon, then.”

You sigh.

“Y’know I used to work at this lousy cinema a few miles away from Central,” he tells you, hand tapping the table with a rhythm that makes no sense. “Busted my ass working minimum wage on night shifts because I thought I’d catch a big break in conversation with a director, as if Martin Fucking Scorcese would choose to host his opening night at a random Edwards in Tokyo.” His tapping on the table stops. “Tell me that isn’t pathetic as hell.”

“That’s pathetic as hell.”

“The things you’ll do for money,” he says with a sigh. He sounds detached, like it’s really just a message for you.

You lick your lips, skin feeling dry from the wind that occasionally brushes by, and when you glance at Kai again, there’s a grit to his jaw.

“Should’ve been born as one of those damn college athletes,” he grumbles, sucking in fast through the joint that was close to withering away. “Those fuckers don’t pay tuition.”

The harsh colors of the soccer team’s color-coded practice schedule on your phone are visible when you blink, as well as the exhaustion under Gojo’s eyes in the warm lighting of the hotel lobby earlier tonight. “They work hard.”

He looks at you. “I work hard, too.”

Your shoulders tense. “I’m sure.”

“You work hard as well.” Just to include you.

“Yeah.”

“I mean, you can’t tell me that it’s fair.”

Your mind wanders to some of the people you’ve met on that team, who have been nice to you. You think of Gojo, and the memory of him makes you wish you were with him right now. Despite everything.

“I guess it’s not fair,” is all you say, a tactic to diffuse the conversation, one that you’ve had to use twice with him today. The sound of the swing chains clinking together from the wind in the distance runs a chill down your spine.

You feel heavy in your chest, and you glance at the joint pinched in between Kai’s fingers. He’s not keeping an eye on it, so it’s easy to steal, and you bring it to your lips before sucking in. You instantly let out a few coughs. He’s looking at you with surprise. And you’re still in desperate need of that distraction you’ve been craving.

“How long does it take for it to kick in?” you ask, coughing again and pressing a hand to your chest.

“Super long when you can barely stomach a single drag.”

You try again. He watches you. You swear you feel a buzz this time, and you hand the joint back to him. You feel like you’re having an out-of-body experience.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Good,” you tell him, “really good.”

“That’s gotta be placebo, Canon.”

“No, really,” you sigh it. Even if it was, maybe your mind was just blessing you with a single moment of reprieve. “I feel…really good,” you say with your head in a haze. “Best I’ve…” you don’t know why you have to blink back tears, “best I’ve felt this whole week.”

Kai’s silent next to you. You look over at him, and he’s got a scrutinizing expression on his face. His eyes are glazed. “You seeing anyone right now, Canon?”

It’s the savory question you know has been on the tip of his tongue. Ignorantly asked, as if you would’ve been sitting here with him right now in the dead of night if the answer was yes.

“No.”

He’s leaning towards you, and you’re dazed and also sleepy. His face is close now, there’s an urge to giggle, which means there’s no way this is all just placebo, and when his lips dip towards yours, you’re conscious enough to push him away by a weakly fisted hand pressed to his collarbone.

“Oh. I. Um,” you stutter.

“What?” he asks, eyebrow raised, still close to you.

“No. No thanks.” Because it felt wrong.

He fully pulls away from you, and runs a hand through his hair, a deep sigh leaving him. “Alright.”

You’re breathing faster now, surroundings feeling vague, like you’re in sweltering heat but the air only bites cold.

You stand up suddenly. “I…I want to go back.”

“Go back where?”

“To the hotel. To my room.” You pause. “I mean, by myself. Not with you. We can share a ride, though.”

He stands up too, hands reaching for you, gripping the straps of his camera still hung around your neck and he pulls it off to place it back into the case. You feel like you’ve lost favor with him somehow. “Okay. Sure.”

“But not with you.” You felt the need to clarify again.

“I get it, Canon. It’s fine.”

—

“Maybe you just need to fuck him aggressively without mercy.”

“I beg your finest pardon?”

You’re sitting in a booth inside this streetside KFC with Mina sitting across the table, waving a fry around in the air, and with Nobara next to you as she tries to open a packet of ketchup with her teeth. The hangout the three of you have been hyping up all week, just to be sat in the same place you always go to. You were about to take a bite out of your sandwich, but you set it back down on your tray.

Mina points the fry at you and shrugs. “I’m saying. Maybe you’re having such a hard time getting over Gojo because you got so close to fucking him in that bathroom, but you didn’t, and now you’re in, like, this constant state of edging.” She bites down on the fry. “The clit knows what the heart doesn’t.”

“Your theories never fail to amaze me,” you mumble, sinking further into the booth.

“Perhaps it’ll take the edge off.” Mina sucks through the straw of her Diet coke. Nobara finally succeeds in opening her packet of ketchup.

“I doubt it. Besides, I technically already gave him an invitation to,” you say, fingers rubbing at your eye with a swipe as you wince from the memory, “and he rejected me, so, still swimming in the self hatred from that one.”

Mina hums. “There’s no way he’s not foaming at the mouth for it, y/n. Men never let a meal they were craving go unfinished,” she states, dramatically stabbing a chicken nugget with a fork.

“What kind of pigs do you guys associate yourselves with?” Nobara asks. She’s a lesbian, by the way.

“I raise another question. Why are we talking about this in a public restaurant?” you offer.

“Listen, babes,” Mina continues, like your words fall on deaf ears because she’s got some point to make, “it’ll either poof. Make your feelings go away like the drop of a hat because you find out he’s a bad lay. Or it’ll be so good that you realize you’re never getting over him and you’ll be thinking of his dick instead of your husband’s on your wedding night.”

“We’re. In. A. Public. Restaurant.”

Mina steals a biscuit from your tray. “If it ends up being the first outcome, then the whole thing was my idea. If it’s the second…then just know that Nobara has steered you wrong.”

“Why the hell do you have to drag me into this?” Nobara asks.

You’re about to take a bite from your sandwich again when you’re interrupted by the buzzing of your phone in your purse. You pull it out and glance at the caller ID, then let out a sigh.

“Sorry, I have to take this,” you mumble, slipping out of the booth and towards the restaurant’s exit, pushing the tense door open with a gust of fresh air brushed through you.

“Hello?” It’s the car repair man. “Really? I thought you said it was fixed.” Apparently something else came up. “Okay…how much longer will it be in repair?” Much longer than you had thought. “And how much will it cost?” Much more expensive than you had thought. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, really, I feel as though every time I’m on the line with you all, I have to wait longer to get my car back, and the bill just racks up higher.” They’re trying their best. “I know. Is it necessary to fix in order to drive, though?” State laws require it. “Okay…thanks for the update.” And then you hang up without another word, and with all the frustration in the world.

You head back inside and grumble about your car woes to Mina and Nobara, who try their best to respond with interest.

“Why can’t your insurance cover it?” Mina asks.

“Apparently they can’t claim it’s because of those rocks I drove over,” you sigh, “since it looks like it’s been a problem for longer than that.”

“Can you afford it?” Nobara asks.

“Not really,” you say. “I’ll just have to postpone having my car for a bit.”

You sigh with a glance out the window of this fine dining establishment, into the blue skies just beyond, head drowning out the voices of Mina and Nobara as they continue to grill you about all sorts of questions that you don’t have the energy to answer right now. You had another student loan payment to make once you got home today, and just the thought of it makes your heart drop a little. And you realize you just can’t afford to be picky about your financial situation anymore.

—

“Thanks for helping me out with this,” you say, footsteps over familiar grassy hills as you head towards the UTokyo’s practice field, your digital Canon EOS hanging from your neck.

“Sure,” Kai says as he keeps pace next to you, “why the sudden mission, though?”

You’re gazing off straight ahead, a nervous pit in your stomach since it’s been a while since you’ve walked across this landscape towards the field.

“I just feel like I need to diversify my income somehow,” you sigh, the buzzwords leaving a bitter taste in your mouth as you say them but it was the reality of your situation, “to make ends meet. When you mentioned freelance work during our conversation last week, it made me think it’s time for me to pick that up too.”

Kai hums. “Yeah, it’s a good plan. I’ll try to show you what I know.”

Once you’ve made it to the top of that hill, the one that oversees the field, your eyes instantly scan the field for familiar silhouettes, and your breath catches in your throat when you spot Gojo passively kicking a ball back and forth between one of his teammates for warm-ups.

It’s the second time you’ve seen him since that argument the two of you had in the hotel lobby, the first being at the post-game conference in which you did everything in your power to swiftly avoid him, and you plan on keeping that up. There’s also an urge to run away, but you’re starting to realize that’s not much of an option anymore.

“Honestly, you don’t really need to worry too much about shutter speed with freelance like you do for shooting sports,” Kai is mumbling next to you as he messes with the settings on his camera, the two of you making your way down the hill towards the field, and you’re not really listening because your eyes are on Gojo, who’s yelling something across the field to his teammates with a look of concentration on his face.

“Uh huh, I see,” you say. You see Kai glance at you in his periphery.

“You again!” you hear a familiar harsh voice call out, and you turn on your heel to face Coach Yaga who’s standing a few feet away in his custom UTokyo tracksuit with his arms crossed against his chest. “Why are you on my field?”

You hold your breath for a second. “Hi, Coach Yaga, so sorry, but I’m just here to take some more photos.”

He lets out one of his hmphs, unrelenting. “You’re a distraction. Get off my field.”

“D-Distraction?”

“Coach!” Suddenly, Geto’s in your line of sight as he emerges with a light jog up to your side. “You should really be nicer to our photographers, they give us a lot of publicity for our games. And publicity means funding.”

Coach Yaga narrows his eyes. “I need all my players focused right now. Even during practice.” He gives you a disapproving glance and you’re still confused, but also weirdly angered.

“Excuse me, Coach Yaga, but last time I checked, this field is technically open for all students. And I’m a student,” you say to him, crossing your arms across your chest now. “So, I can be here if I want.”

You have no idea if that’s true at all, but sometimes you’ve just gotta fake it ‘til you make it.

Coach Yaga grumbles something and then waves his hands in the air. “Fine! I’ve no bandwidth to argue about this anymore! Just don’t distract my players.”

You’re shocked that it worked, and Geto nudges you with an elbow to correct your expression so that Coach Yaga doesn’t catch on to the bullshit you just spewed.

“Are you here to take some photos?” Geto asks, facing you. He’s got his hands on his hips, breathing slightly fast, some of his hair falling onto his forehead.

“Yeah, I am, just for practice though. I’m here with—” you glance at Kai, who’s standing with his fists shoved into his pockets, “Kai. He’s also with the newsletter.”

There’s a moment where Geto studies the two of you for a second before speaking. “I know,” he says, extending his hand out for Kai to shake, which he does, “I think I’ve seen you around. Not sure if we’ve formally met, but it’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, likewise.” Kai’s hand is then shoved back into his pocket.

You feel awkward suddenly, and then quickly say something to Geto about how he should probably get back to practice, which he agrees to, and then you’re standing at the chalk sideline with Kai as he shows you the ins and outs about digital photography.

“Have you tried shooting in burst mode?” he asks, switching the feature on your camera and then handing it back to you. You sling the strap around your neck.

“Hm…” you start, pointing your camera across the expanse of the field to multiple areas. The trees off into the distance, the goal posts, Coach Yaga’s yapping Pomeranian. “Not really…” The grass beneath your feet, the sky above your head, and then blurrily focused before settling on Gojo who stood in the distance straight ahead.

You see through your viewfinder that he’s caught sight of you too, a look of surprise on his face seen only by the level of zoom, and you glance up from the screen to make eye contact with him in reality. He’s fully staring at you, and you can barely see the way his expression relaxes from that one of athletic concentration to something wistful and strange that you’ve had a hard time reading lately.

“Canon? Are you even listening?”

“Huh?” you snap out of it and look at Kai. “Sorry. Could you repeat that?” You quickly glance toward Gojo again, and his line of sight points towards Kai now.

“I was asking if you’ve tried panning before,” he says, reaching for your camera, pulling it towards him, but the strap around your neck means you’re pulled closer to him too.

“Satoru!” Coach Yaga yells in the distance. “Eyes on the ball!”

“Just got to set your camera to manual mode first,” Kai mutters, confusion in his voice. “Where the fuck is it?” He’s turning your camera in his hands, which only has you stumbling with another small step towards him, your chest pressed flush to his arm, and he looks down at you for a brief second with a smirk on his face.

You hear the sound of a ball being kicked on the field, followed by the shout of one of the players.

“Ah, here, found it,” Kai says, handing your camera back to you, and just as you’re about to say thanks and you hold your camera up, you’re hit straight in the face by a flying object and fall backwards onto the grass with a painful thud.

What the fuck?

Where are you?

Who are you?

Okay, that’s dramatic, it wasn’t that bad.

There’s shouting in the distance as you hold your head with a groan, eyes shut tight with images of your life flashing behind your eyelids, and when you open your eyes again from where you’re sat up on the grass, you’re surrounded by soccer players.

Gojo’s suddenly in your line of sight, knelt down beside you and he’s holding your shoulders, trying to get you to look at him but you’re still blinking away the stars you’re seeing. “Fuck, y/n, are you okay?” he asks, and you register the concern on his face.

“Dude,” one of his teammates kicks the heel of his cleat, “where the fuck were you looking? It was clear as day I was tryna pass to you.”

Gojo grumbles something to him, his brow furrowed, and he’s lowering his head to try to make eye-level contact with you but you’re still holding your head with a wince.

“Oh shit,” Kai comments, “she’s bleeding.”

You pull your hand from your face to glance down at the wetness that you feel, and bright red color stains the tips of your fingers.

The next thing you register is Gojo picking you up off the hard grassy ground into his arms, and starts carrying you away down the field.

“W-What the hell are you doing?” you ask, his pacing across the grass is fast and you have to wrap your arms around his neck to keep from getting dizzy.

“I’m taking you to the hospital,” he says, voice strained in his throat, and you’ve never seen him look so worried before.

“The hospital?! Please don’t, I don’t have health insurance right now.” His face is so close and you’re distracted from the pain of your headache.

“You’re bleeding on the face, I’m taking you whether you like it or not,” he grumbles.

You dig your nails into his shoulder through the nylon of his shirt, and he hisses from the pain before stopping in his tracks. “I don’t need to go to the hospital, Satoru, I just need a fucking bandaid.”

“You could have a concussion.”

“A concussion?!” You kick your feet for him to let you down but his grip on you only tightens. “You’re being ridiculous. Let me go, or I’ll bite you.”

He scoffs at that and continues walking forward. “You’re gonna bite me? That’s the most threatening thing you could come up with?”

“I’m being so dead serious, Gojo Satoru. No hospital.”

He grumbles something under his breath at your use of his full government name, and then says “fine” but he’s still walking down the grass until his cleats begin to tap on concrete, and then on what sounds like tile as he carries you into a building a few yards from the field.

He seats you on a cold counter, your hand gripping the faucet of a sink, and you finally take a comprehensive look at your surroundings. light blue, faint scent of chlorine in the air

“Is this…a locker room? The men's locker room?”

He sighs, bending his knees a bit to look at your face closely. You flinch when his hand reaches out, and he pauses, but you relax slightly and then he rubs his thumb over your cheek. You feel the smear of a droplet of blood. “Yes. I need running water.” He turns the faucet of the sink on to run his thumb under.

“For what?” you ask. His thumb is running over your cheek again.

“To take care of this cut.” He disappears behind a tile wall for a moment. You can hear metal clanking, probably of a locker opening and closing, and he re-emerges with a first-aid kit.

You slide your butt across the counter to the edge, about to hop off and make a run for it when he grabs your hips and puts you back into place. “Don’t even think about it,” he grumbles. He leans forward, grips you strongly, and you see that he’s still breathing heavily from practice, strands of hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, and you can practically taste the salt on his neck.

You press your shin to the front of his thigh, desperate to put some space between the two of you. “I don’t wanna be in here. Men are scary.”

“Well I can’t take you into the women’s locker room,” he says, ripping the packet of an antiseptic wipe open with his teeth, “I’d get registered as a sex offender.”

You attempt at an escape again, and he’s quick to get his hands on you to stop it.

“Quit manhandling me, or I’ll scream,” you threaten through gritted teeth, because you’re still mad at him. For everything.

“Go ahead,” he says, using his knee to spread your legs apart, then finds a place to stand between your thighs to get closer to you. “I’ve got a lot of ways I could shut you up.”

You blink at him, breath catching in your throat, and the expression on his face tells you he’s not interested in dealing with your stubbornness anymore.

“Just hold still,” he grumbles, placing the packet down on your thigh and then stepping off to the side to wash his hands under the sink.

“What exactly happened?” you ask, watching him dry his hands off with a few paper towels. One moment, Kai was trying to explain good digital photography to you, and the next you were dizzy from being knocked back onto the ground.

“You got hit by a soccer ball.”

“I know, but how?” You remember your camera hit your face from the impact too, and now you’re worried about it.

“I…wasn’t paying attention when my teammate passed it,” he admits with a sigh, finding his place in front of you again, the knuckles of his clean hand brushing across your cheek, caressing. Your expression softens slightly. He uses a hand spread across the small of your back to push you forward to him, then he gently passes the wipe over your wound.

“Oh okay so, you failed to protect me from a flying soccer ball.”

He pulls his hand from you to read the lettering on the back of the packet. “I’m patching you up now, aren’t I?” he says, annoyed. “…oh fuck, I was supposed to go in with water first.”

“So glad to be in such good hands right now.”

He gives you a pointed look, but you ignore it and turn your torso to see your reflection in the mirror for the first time. You had a small wound on your cheek, right over the bone, with some bleeding and it’s wider than it is deep. But when you look at Gojo again, who’s putting some ointment onto a Q-tip now, the look of guilt and worry on his face makes you feel satisfied for some reason, and you wanted to make it worse.

“Does it hurt?” he asks, brow furrowed, applying the cold gel to your cheek.

“Mhm. A lot.” Not really, no.

“Fuck. I’m sorry,” he sighs, head dipping towards you slightly to get a better look, “can you feel this?”

“Ahh, yeah. Ouch. So much.” Barely.

His other hand is placed flat on the counter next to where you’re sitting, and you allow it when his thumb starts to run soothing circles over your hip.

“Hmm…” you start, wide eyes looking up at him as he seems to lean closer and closer to you with every word that leaves your lips, “I really wonder if it’ll leave a scar.”

He looks tortured. His hand that was maneuvering the Q-tip in his hands drops to the counter now, and he brings his other one to your face, cupping your cheek. His eyes dart from the wound, thumb pressing at the plush of your cheek, and this time, it hurts a little so you wince. His expression is tense, some sort of inner turmoil you could read across his forehead, and then his jaw hardens.

“Who was that guy you were talking to earlier?”

You blink a few, then tilt your head slightly. You feel like you’re on a game show, where there’s four options and only one right answer. New boytoy, gay best friend, fuck buddy, or— “He’s my coworker.”

“That’s it?”

“Mhm.”

“Has he tried anything funny with you?”

You almost roll your eyes. “No, dad, he hasn’t.”

“Woah. Say that again but make it daddy.”

“Hey just a quick question for you. Where do you get the audacity?”

His bent index finger finds a place under your chin, tilting your head up so you’re forced to look at him. “It’s your fault, really. I can’t help it sometimes,” he says, voice lower now. You’re squirming a little, wanting to push him away but his lips get close to your cheek, brushing near your wound, like he wants to make it all better somehow. “I really am sorry,” he whispers, near your ear. There’s a whimper you have to stifle in your throat. He pulls aways just enough to where he can look into your eyes. “A cut…” he starts, thumb now passing over your bottom lip, “on your pretty face.” He sighs. You shouldn’t, but when he prods, you tuck his thumb under your front teeth and your tongue presses slightly against the padded skin of it. He looks like he’s being driven to insanity, and his other hand has no shame at all in pulling you towards him, to seat you at the edge of the counter, and you miss the texture of his thumb on your tongue when he pulls it from your mouth. But it’s so he can dip his head down to kiss you instead.

Of course the sensation of his lips on yours only lasts for a second, because the universe really fucking hates (or loves?) you, so the loud clanking of a metal water bottle against tile interrupts with harsh reverberation throughout the locker room walls, and he pulls away from you when you jump at the sound.

You both turn your heads towards the origin, located at the curved end of the entryway hall, and one of Gojo’s teammates is standing there with his duffle bag slung around his neck and hanging heavily to his thigh, his water bottle clutched in his hand. He blinks at the two of you.

Oh. It’s the one you kissed at that party a few weeks ago.

“What—…Why is there a—” his teammate starts, panicked, turning his head to double check the sign on the locker room wall as if he’s hallucinating, and when his eyes land on you again, they widen with recognition. His gaze shifts, and his chin tips down at the sight of Gojo’s irritated side eye from where he was still all up in your personal space. “…you know what. Nevermind.”

His teammate’s eyes are on you again, and you give him a shy little wave, just a fluttering of your fingers in the air paired with a small smile, legs swinging back and forth under the counter. He lets out an amused scoff from the entryway, lifting his hand to return the gesture, some cheeky grin on his face as he then scratches the back of his head before turning on his heel to leave the locker room, out of sight. You let out a sigh, hand dropping to your lap, and you don’t need to look at Gojo to tell that he’s staring at you with disbelief.

“What the fuck was that—”

“You,” you interrupt him, finger jabbing at the center of his chest, “have seriously got a lot of fucking nerve,” you hop off the counter, “to not only allow a soccer ball to sock me in the face,” he’s taking a step back with every harsh jab of your finger, “but to also hold me hostage in a mens’ locker room,” his back is pressed up against cold tile wall now while he just looks down at you with wide eyes and something akin to fear, “and then, oh my god, the audacity to kiss me?”

“I—”

“I don’t wanna hear it!” you yell, which shuts him up. “You really are just a fucking player.”

He’s stiff, not wanting to catch a punishment from you right now.

“But it doesn’t matter,” you grumble, still drilling your finger into his ribcage with the intent to cause pain. You didn’t need to be this close, but his body is warm, probably due to the blood pumping from practice, and it feels nice to be pressed up against. “Because I don’t have feelings for you anymore, so just fucking get over yourself.” It was a lie if you’ve ever told one, but you wanted to believe it so much that it could come off as the truth.

His eyes narrow down at you, eyebrows flattening. “You don’t have feelings for me anymore?”

“No, I don’t.”

“I don’t believe you.”

You roll your eyes. “Why? Because you want me to keep suffering?”

He grabs your hips, then makes a motion that is evident of his desire to pull you flush to him, but he stops himself. There’s a moment where he just takes a few deep breaths and looks at you with a hardened expression, then a split second where his eyes fall to that little cut on your cheek, and every single feature of his face softens, and then he lets you go.

You take a small step back, breathing heavily of your own, and you feel the ghost sensation of his fingertips wrapped around your hips. It makes you feel dizzy, and your thoughts are a mess.

He sighs. “Sorry. For the soccer ball, and this locker room. But I’m not really sorry for kissing you, and if that makes me a jerk, then so be it.”

Your heart is beating fast. “You are a jerk, Satoru,” you say. He doesn’t like you, he doesn’t want you. A mantra played over and over in your head that you’ve started to hear it at night. “A real fucking jerk.” And you leave him standing there in a way that feels like the hundredth time.

—

2:34pm kaito (work): yo

2:34pm kaito (work): i had my guy look at your camera

2:35pm kaito (work): it’s pretty fucked up

2:37pm you: :( oh okay isee. does he have an estimate for the fix? the lens is okay though right?

2:39pm kaito (work): yeah lens is fine, you should really count your blessings on that.

2:40pm kaito (work): but nah, fix would be around the same as the cost of it, so you’re better off getting a new one

2:42pm you: i don’t have thousands of yen laying around unfortunately. my car bill has sucked me dry

2:44pm kaito (work): well let me check with him. maybe he can hook you up with a good deal on a used one

2:45pm kaito (work): i got a 50% off on one of my canon cameras i bought from him a few years back. maybe he’s still got some like that

2:46pm you: yes could you check with him please? thanks so much, really

2:48pm kaito (work): sure. although i think the guy that kicked the ball to your face should be paying for your camera replacement

2:51pm you: they were just practicing. it’s their field

2:56pm kaito (work): alright. btw, you free tonight?

You blink at your phone screen from where you were sprawled across your bed. Before you have a chance to type out a response, your phone lights up with a phone call from kaito (work). You accept the call.

“Oh, hi,” you say.

“Hey, are you free tonight?”

“Oh uhh, I was just about to check my schedule.” You shake your head at your inability to come up with an excuse on the spot.

“Okay,” he says on the other line. You hear the sounds of cars honking in the distance. “Well let me know. I just left my camera guy’s shop, and he was telling me about how one of his friends does visuals for a short-film director, and that the director is looking for an assistant.” Kai grumbles something about someone he walked past being rude. “I think the director’s agency is Verve Films, so.”

You sit up in bed, eyes wide at the mention of the name. “Oh, oh wow. That’s insane.”

“Yup,” he says, “anyways, apparently the director is busy as fuck, so he left the hiring process up to my camera guy’s friend. I told him I knew someone that might be interested. Are you?”

You take a deep breath in and out. “Yeah, I am. Most of my experience on my resume lines up with short-film, so I’d be able to—”

“Alright great,” he interrupts, “so we can hold the interview tonight.”

“We?” you ask.

“Well yeah, me, my camera guy, the hiring guy. Maybe go for drinks or something.”

Your brow furrows. “That hardly sounds like an interview.”

Kai sighs. “Well, it’s not an interview for a desk job or something. It’s more of like—well, like building connections. I know you know all about that, since Utahime got you the newsletter job.”

Well, yes. She put a word in for you, which helped get the interview, but you still went against qualified applicants. “I guess.”

“It’ll be like that. Most opportunities you’ll get if you still want to pursue filmmaking are going to be like that,” he tells you, “if it feels informal, it means you’re doing it right. You might not think so now because you’re still in school, where they practically serve opportunities to students on platters, but it’s going to be different in the real world.”

You lay your head back onto the pillow, feeling like you’re receiving a lecture you didn’t ask for, and your first instinct is to pretend that you know better than he does. But when you think about all the stress recently, all of the not knowing, and the unsure, you question if you should start leaning into the advice of the people around you, and start to accept this career path for what it’s known to be. Unruly, unconventional, and a lot of times, unfair.

“I see. Well, can I think about it? Tonight is too soon, I’d need time to research the director, put a portfolio together, and also do some interview prep,” you say, pulling your phone from your ear to glance at the time.

“Well, tonight’s the only night that works since their team’s shooting abroad for the weekend and they leave tomorrow morning,” he says.

You purse your lips together.

“But also,” Kai says, “it’s the nice thing to do, y’know, since my camera guy is taking the time to look at your camera for free, you could at least help his friend out. By the way, he just texted me, he does have some used Canons available at discount.”

You close your eyes for a second, just trying to process this conversation right now. Kai was speaking too fast, hardly enough time for you to even think.

“So do you want to do the interview tonight?”

“Yes, sure. Okay. Just— just send me the details. I’ll be there,” you say.

“Alright cool, will do.”

You say bye, and then he hangs up.

A few hours pass by, where you spend some time putting together a flash drive of a couple of your best short films you’ve worked on in the past with other directors, as well as a portfolio of some recently developed film photography. The last thing to do was grab your emergency stash of print outs of your resume, and then you stuff it all into a folder before glancing at the mirror to take in your reflection. It felt extremely weird to show up to a job interview in something as casual as what you were wearing right now, but Kai insisted to not wear anything business. But at least you opted for jeans that don’t have any DIY holes in them.

Your face is glued to the navigation on your phone screen the second you get out of the taxi, and you walk down the bustling nightlife streets of Tokyo to get to this bar that Kai sent you the address of. But just as you’re about to turn the corner to your destination down the bar strip, you bump into someone’s chest due to lack of paying any proper attention.

“Ah— I’m so sorry,” you say, your grip on your phone tightening when you realize it was about to get knocked out of your hand, and then you look up to see a familiar face.

“Oh!” Geto exclaims from where he’s standing right in front of you, “You’re everywhere, y/n. What are you doing here?”

You open your mouth to speak, hesitate for a second, and then continue. “I’m here to…get drinks with some of my friends.”

He gives you a smile. “That’s nice. I am too.” He points over his shoulder to behind him. “Nanami got into his MBA program earlier this week, so, Satoru, Choso and I are buying him a few rounds. Or possibly a million. The plan is to incapacitate him as punishment for giving up on playing in the national league with us.”

You humor him with a laugh. “That’s sweet. Or not? Well anyway, tell him I said congrats.” Your heart starts to beat a little faster, because from the direction Geto came from, it meant Gojo was likely just around the corner somewhere. “Where are you heading to now?”

“We’re bar hopping, and I think I forgot my phone at the last one we went to over there,” he says, pointing across the street. “So I’m going to go look for it.”

“Oh alright,” you say. “Good luck with that. I’m going to go find my, uh, my friends.”

Geto tilts his head at you and had a slightly more serious expression on his face, glancing at the folder in your hands. “Thanks. And stay safe.”

You nod at him and then walk past him to round the corner onto the street that had groups of people loitering in front of restaurants, bars and all sorts of establishments as they wait in the cold to get inside or be seated. You recognize the name on one of the signs hanging as the one Kai sent you in his message, and when you’re a few feet away from it, you spot Kai. He’s wearing his typical street photographer wear, with a red flannel over a gray shirt and pants that are possibly a size too big for him, but that’s likely the style he was going for. He’s standing with two other people.

“Hey,” you greet Kai first, who has a pleasant look on his expression before he greets you back and gestures to the two people he was with.

“Yo, this is Junichi, my camera guy,” he says. “Don’t bother shaking his hand, he’s a germaphobe. Gotta keep ‘em clean for the electronics.”

“Oh,” you say. Junichi is a big man, broad shoulders and thick muscles. His neck is almost as thick as his bicep, and he has no hair on his head. His arms are crossed. “It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for taking a look at my camera.”

He nods at you in acknowledgment. “Sure thing. Pretty Boy here says you want to buy one of my used Canons. I don’t refurbish them, so you’d better know how.”

Kai sighs, nudging Junichi a little with a fist. “Relax, dude, we can talk about that later. Also, stop calling me that.”

Your eyes flicker to the right, where another man stood, who you assume was Junichi’s friend and this Verve Films director’s visual effects specialist. He’s similar in stature to Kai, with that casual artist look, and he has a scuffle of facial hair littering his jaw in less of an intentional fashion but rather a five-o-clock shadow fashion. You vaguely register the scent of weed, familiar to the one that lingers in the photo lab on campus after class hours. He reaches his hand out to you first.

“Hi, I’m Ren. I work in visual effects for director Akira Ko at Verve.”

Your eyes widen as you shake his hand. “That’s amazing. I’ve studied a lot of his contemporary works, I’d love to learn more about his process.”

Ren lets a fast exhale out through his nose. “Yeah, you’ll learn a lot under him.” He pauses to shove his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Most of his assistants always do.”

“We’ve been waiting for too damn long,” Kai interjects before you could ask any questions about the assistant position, and he glances at his watch, “and there’s still a lot of people ahead of us.”

You glance around to the small groups of people gathered in front of this bar on a lively Friday night, eyes jumping from one area to the next, until a familiar silhouette catches your eye.

You see Gojo standing with Nanami and Choso a few strides away, near the lamppost. He’s mostly turned away from you, Nanami nudging his arm annoyed at something he said, and the sound of his laughter in the air makes your heart feel like it’s at stray. Like that was where you were supposed to be right now, not here.

You watch him from the distance as he sighs, shrugging his shoulders up and down slightly before crossing his arms when Choso gestures towards the entrance of the bar, and so he looks in that direction too. He’s frowning slightly and he brushes some of the hair fallen over his forehead away from his eyes, in that boyish way that makes your heart skip a beat, and you know he’s just doing it to see a little bit better, but it makes you want to cry.

Geto walks up to them and rejoins their little circle, and holds his phone up in the air, and then there’s the melody of their voices bouncing off one another’s again. Geto rests his elbow up onto Gojo’s shoulder, leaning in a bit closer to tell him something, and when Gojo hears it, you see his entire body tense before his wide eyes are searching his surroundings, until those eyes land on you.

Your breath catches, and you hold his eye contact for only a moment before you look away, because it almost felt like too much to bear.

“What’s that folder in your hand?” Ren asks you, and you turn completely to face him so you can’t see Gojo in your periphery at all anymore.

“I just brought some of my work, for your—er, I guess Mr. Ko’s—reference if he’d like to see it after today’s…interview,” you say. “There’s a flashdrive, too.”

Ren has an amused look on his face and he shoves Kai’s shoulder with his palm. “Dude, you didn’t tell her?”

Kai shakes his head. “Tell her what?”

“Ohh, I see how it is,” Ren muses.

“What?” Kai asks, starting to sound annoyed.

Ren tips his chin up slightly to study Kai’s face, and then his look of amusement dissipates into one of understanding. “Nothing.”

“Tell me what?” you prod.

“Just that you didn’t really need to bring all of that with you,” he says. “Sorry for the trouble.”

You shake your head. “It’s fine, but if you could still give it to him—”

“I’m surprised Kai suggested someone when I asked if he knew anyone,” Junichi jumps in, “I’m used to him grumbling on and on about how shit the work is in filmmaking. Would’ve thought he’d convinced you to look the other way by now.”

You blink at the gruff man, then look at Kai, and he’s just staring down at the dirt of his shoes. “Well, we had a conversation about it. But I’m pretty set on what I want to do,” you say.

Kai lets out a scoff. “Yeah, I don’t really know how else to warn you about the shit show you’re in for, but if you want to be in debt to grad school for the next couple decades of your life, then it’s up to you.”

“Hey, jackass, try to be a bit nicer,” Ren speaks up. “She’s got some goals. Big fuckin’ deal.” He turns to you. “Although, he’s got a point sweetheart, school’s not going to get you anywhere in this industry.”

You frown. “A lot of directors I look up to went through graduate schooling. Most, I would say. I don’t understand where this rhetoric is coming from.”

“It’s coming from real people with real experience,” Ren says, and you dislike the way he takes a step closer to you to reiterate his point, “honestly, you should save yourself some time and give up on applying. It’s not worth it.”

“I’ve already put my application together,” you say, brow furrowing slightly, “I’ve asked professors for my references, spent the past four years working on my profile—”

“But working under a director, I mean really getting to work under one, beats all of that. Which is why you’re here, right?” Ren asks, but it’s not curious, it’s testing.

You feel a sheen of sweat build at your forehead, even in this cold, and you clench your hand into a fist once, twice, thrice. You’re breathing fast, and the three sets of eyes that are staring so scrutinizingly into your soul right now have you faltering, like if they took another step forward, tried to intrude what you thought you knew one more time, you’d fall backwards over the cliff.

Suddenly, a hand wraps around your upper arm, and when you turn your head to the left, you see Gojo standing there.

“Hey,” he says to you, sparing one single sidewards glare towards Kai, who immediately averts the eye contact, before Gojo’s eyes are on you again, “can I talk to you for a second?”

You look at the three men in your circle, who suddenly adopt skittish body postures, and Gojo doesn’t really wait longer than a few seconds before he’s pulling you away from them over towards the edge of the curb towards the street.

“What?” you ask once he lets go of your arm.

“What are you doing here with those guys?” he asks.

“I’m—…why does it matter to you?” you ask.

“It matters to me because of the fucking absurd conversation I just overheard,” he says, “now answer me.”

His tone annoys you, and you cross your arms. “Are you eavesdropping?”

“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, taking a step forward to you, “who are those guys, and why are you here with them?”

You blink at him, furrowed brows relaxing slightly as you drop your crossed arms to your side, and you stare straight ahead at the blankness of the white t-shirt he’s wearing, as your mind runs blank to his question. Why were you here with them? Was it because you had no other plans? Was it because the opportunity sounded too good to be true, and you just had to see for yourself? Was it because you’ve been unable to sleep at night from all the stress, the financial worries, the rejection, and you just want to finally feel like you’ve done one good thing for yourself? To feel like you’re at least making one step in the right direction, no matter the cost?

“I’m here for a job interview,” you say to him. Your tone is flat, and you feel numb.

“A job interview?” he asks, with just about as much incredulity you would’ve expected to hear from him at that answer, “At a bar? How does that make any sense?”

“It…” you start, “sounded fine.”

“It sounds shady as fuck.”

“This doesn’t concern you, okay? I’m—…I’m just trying to make my goals work for me, Satoru, and I really don’t expect you to understand.”

“Why wouldn’t I understand?” he asks. There’s confusion in his voice, and maybe even a little bit of hurt.

“Because you can’t even understand how unfair and painful it is for me that you keep—” you have to purse your lips together briefly to fight back the knot in your throat, “…that you keep interfering with my life everywhere I go.”

His expression softens, and he silently stands in front of you for a moment. His eyes dart across your face, and then he reaches out to grab your hand. “Listen, if you still want to get drinks tonight, then just get drinks with us. But don’t hang out with those guys. They’re bad news, especially the dude with the flannel, and I don’t think you’re in a good place right now to see that.”

Your eyes see white fury at that, and you all but snap. Because the irony of this whole situation, is that you’re not in a good place right now because of him. Because of all the pain that he’s put you through, for promising to stay away but then always being near, for saying he doesn’t want you but then acting like he does.

“You know what I think, Satoru?” you ask through gritted teeth, yanking your hand from his grasp.

He’s looking at you, studying. “What?”

You take a step forward, threateningly, and he takes a step back so that he steps off the curb and onto the road, and you’re at eye-level with him now. “I think that you’re jealous,” you say, eyes glaring daggers into his.

He blinks at you, almost dumbfounded for a moment before he says “what?”

“You’re just fucking jealous that I seem to be moving on after you rejected me, because for some weird reason, you think it’s okay to not want me, and yet not want me to be with anyone else,” you say, practically hissing the words. “You don’t like seeing me with any guys other than you? You don’t want to believe me when I say that I’m over you? You’re not sorry for kissing me? Even after knowing,” you take a pause to breathe, because you feel like you can’t, “even after knowing that I like you,” eyes blinking fast because you don’t want him to see you cry right now, “you know that I like you so fucking much, and that it’s hurtful, and that it’s wrong— and even after all of that, you act the same, and still won’t promise me any commitment of your own.”

He’s looking at you with an expression you can’t read, but you’ve lost all interest in trying to understand it anymore.

“You don’t want me hanging out with them?” you repeat after him, “I’m not listening to that. Because it’s possessive. And it’s wrong.”

At the mention of them, Gojo clenches his jaw. “That has nothing to do with you and me, right now. What they’re trying to convince you of doesn’t make any sense, and it won’t help you achieve your dreams either, y/n.”

“You don’t know anything about my dreams, Satoru,” you say, just to hurt him. But you think about the sincere expression on his face the first time you met him when you told him that you wanted his help with your assignment. You think about the playful nudge of his elbow that night he stayed with you on the curb, and told you that you just had to try to put yourself out there, because you couldn’t accomplish anything without facing your fears. You think about how he’s always the first to like every single one of the slideshows you post of your pictures on Instagram. You think about the adoration in his eyes, reflected off the moonlight through the hotel window, when you told him about a little cottage on the countryside, one you’ve always wanted, and those eyes told you that he was really rooting for you. “You don’t know. Because you—” there’s an echo of words in your head. Someone else’s words, not yours, “Because you’re a college athlete. And—” you let out an exhale, “and you don’t pay tuition.”

His brow furrows. There’s a beat of silence as his confusion settles in. “What?”

“You were born blessed with talent, and you’re popular, and people adore you, and you don’t have to worry about internships, or jumping from job to job just to make something of yourself,” you say, picturing your life in your head along with all the strife, “or about all of the sinking debt, and the worry, and the— and the car repair bills,” you say, almost with a scoff, eyes sheening with tears, like you’re losing your mind, “all of the fucking car repair bills.” Your chest is heaving as you shake your head. “Because you’re set for life as long as you kick a fucking ball.”

His lips purse together, like he can tell there’s more on your tongue to say, more hurtful words, and he wants to hear you say them. And so you do.

“You’ve never had to suffer or worry about a single thing in your life. So don’t pretend like you understand what I’m trying to do here tonight,” you say, inflection signing off on the end, to tell him that you’re done.

He stands in front of you, practically motionless except for the slow movement of his chest as he breathes. His expression, tense and hurt, softens slowly, and you see him digging his nails into the skin of his palms through fidgeting clenched fists at his sides. And then he relaxes them, too.

“Does that make you feel better?” he asks.

His question confuses you, and for some reason, regret washes over you. “What?”

“Does thinking of me that way—…does it make you feel better about all of this? Between us?”

You’re breathing fast, eyebrows pinching upwards to look at him, and the defeated expression on his face makes your heart ache. He’s waiting for an answer, and so you give him one. “Yes.”

He glances down at the ground for a moment, then at your collarbone, before meeting your gaze again. “I’m sorry. For everything. And I—” the words catch in his throat briefly, “I’ll try to leave you alone tonight.”

His use of the word try doesn’t escape you, but you give him a furtive nod, and he studies your face for a few moments before he steps back up onto the curb and walks past you. You watch him walk all the way, no longer with that confidence or conviction you’re so used to seeing in him, as he steps back into his circle, to Geto’s side. Geto gives a small glance over his shoulder to look at you with discerning eyes before looking at Gojo again, and then he’s turned away from you.

Heavy feet drag you back to Kai, Ren, and Junichi, and you feel feverish. They mention something about the table being ready, and you nod. The bar is rustic, with more tables than barspace, and the four of you are seated and then presented with a small food menu. You’re seated next to Kai, Ren is right across from you, and Junichi is to his right. You watch a waitress usher Nanami, Choso, Geto and Gojo to one of the tables as well, two away from yours, and you forcefully blur your vision so you don’t have to catch sight of the expression on Gojo’s face.

“So,” Ren speaks up as his eyes peruse the food menu and Junichi waves the waitress over to order a round of sake, “tell me more about your experience, sweetheart.”

You blink at him, eyes feeling heavy, heart feeling heavy. “I’d prefer it if you called me by my name.”

Ren lets out a coo, and you briefly glance at Kai who’s shaking his head with a sigh. “My bad, y/n. Your experience?”

Your hands play with the folder sitting in your lap. “I started writing screenplays for small-scale directors when I was a freshman, and was greenlit on a couple into my sophomore year. One of the films I worked on, I had directing credits for, and it was nominated for best screenplay at Etoile Film Festival the year following.”

Ren swallows slightly, shifting in his chair and pushing his shoulders back, like he’s trying to establish himself now. Kai is clenching a fist on the surface of the table.

Ren clears his throat before speaking again. “Wow, okay, so you’ve actually got some serious shit going on.” His voice is a faux octave deeper. “What do you know about being a good assistant? Ever worked in customer service? Secretary?”

“Oh, I mean I have worked in customer service, but I wasn’t done sharing about my experience—” you try to say but Junichi cuts you off.

“First round’s on me,” he declares, “for bringing her out here.” He tips his chin to you and then sends Kai a glance.

A waitress brings by a bottle of sake, and Junichi begins pouring drinks into the glasses, then slides them across the table. Kai gives Ren a pointed look.

“Don’t get too wasted,” Kai says to him as he brings his glass to his lips, “you start running that mouth of yours a little too much when you do.”

Ren grins at him and immediately knocks down the glass Junichi barely finished pouring from him in one go, and the gruff man beside him is grumbling. “Whatever you say.”

Something had been bothering you since you came here. “Wait,” you say, pointing between Kai and Ren, “do you two know each other already? Because,” you turn to look at Kai, “on the phone earlier, you sounded like you didn’t.”

Kai’s eyebrows raise in surprise, as though he’s discovered you have some skill for foresight. You glance at Ren, and he gives Kai a puzzled look.

“Uh, yeah. I’ve known Kai for years,” he says, “we go way back. We went to highschool together.”

Kai shifts a little in his chair. “Sorry. Probably forgot to mention it.”

You glance down at the glass of sake in front of you, and the way it twinkles under the lighting of the bar. You slowly bring it to your mouth, taking a small sip, and the way it coats your tongue is less than pleasing.

“Can you tell me more about the assistant position?” you ask Ren, who’s emptied out the bottle of sake and waving someone over to order more. He already has a slightly flush to his face.

“Yeah, yeah, will do,” he says, “but first, let me tell you about what I do in visuals.”

Another round of sake is dropped by, and then another, followed by another, as Ren continues to ramble on and on about what he does for work, and how it’s entirely integral to the final piece of the film, although you’ve never really had a terrible level of appreciation for visual effects in short-film craft, since it’s hardly much work. But you wouldn’t say that, you just continue to nurse your one glass of sake as the three men surrounding you knock back more and more, and there’s slurs to their speeches now.

“Sooo, I’m so sorry, sweetheart—I mean y/n, for cuttin’ you off earlier,” he says, “but what was that experience you wanted to talk to me about?” Ren asks from across the table, and his eyes are all traveling over you.

“I…” you start, “well, I started to work with one of my professors last year, she’s a two-time Cannes Film Festival winner, and she let me under her wing for one of her projects last year.”

“Who is she? Oh wait, nevermind, probably wouldn’t have heard of her anyways,” Ren says, but when you fail to laugh, he waves his hand in the air. “Joking, joking. What’s her name?”

“Naoko. Naoko Ogigami.”

“Oh shit. I have heard of her,” Ren says, followed by a shallow hiccup. Junichi shrugs his shoulders, and when you look at Kai, he’s nodding slowly and toying with the rim of his glass with a finger.

“Yes. Well, anyways—” you start up again, before Kai sets his glass of sake down particularly loud.

“This is all bullshit. Really. I told you, filmmaking is a waste of time. Just focus on your photography, and your freelance or whatnot,” Kai says, grit to his jaw, face looking red with possibly something other than just a tipsiness.

Ren lets out a laugh. “Fuckin’ Kai. What a pessimist. Don’t listen to him, sweetheart,” he says, slurred, and you furrow your brow at him with a glare, “sorry. Don’t listen to him. Trust me, you’ll learn a lot under Mr. Ko. He’s a suuuper nice guy.”

“What’s the compensation?” you ask. It’s a brazen question, one you’d never ask so soon in a formal interview process, but this table was hardly anything formal.

“Real good. Mmm I think like…5200 yen an hour, and then also, you get your foot in the door.”

“Oh,” you sit up a little in your chair. It was higher than most entry-level anything for undergraduates or even new grads.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he drawls when he sees you’re more interested. “Good stuff. Kai used to pick these kinds of jobs up, too, back in his college days. I remember. Although, he’s hardly Mr. Ko’s type, so I doubt he’d be any good for this one.”

Your head snaps to Ren again at his words, face tensing.

“Tell her about what a job like this—hic—entails,” Ren says as he extends his glass out for Junichi to pour him another.

Kai glances at Ren once, and you watch him grind his teeth for a moment, and then there’s a hint of a smirk on his face.

“Oh. Y’know, clerical work. Stuff like printing scripts out,” Kai starts, Junichi filling up his glass and then he raises it into the air to watch the liquid swish around, “grabbing him coffee. Making sure his trailer is stocked.”

“Blowing him in said trailer,” Ren says. It’s something quiet, under his breath with a small laugh, where you could barely hear it across the table. But you heard it nonetheless. And your heart sinks to the core of the earth.

“Excuse me?” you say. The benefit of doubt sitting on your shoulder, watching in disbelief as well.

“He’s joking,” Kai says, quickly, “runnin’ his mouth.”

“Oh fuck off, Kai,” Ren says, throwing his hands up in the air, “don’t act like that’s not why you brought her here.”

Your head slowly turns to Kai, who can’t meet your gaze. Your eyes flicker to Junichi, who looks amused.

Ren leans over the table, elbows resting on top, to look you straight in the eyes. He’s got a sleazy smile, and you can smell the alcohol on his breath, and he dips his tone down low enough to where you can hardly hear it over the sounds surrounding you in the bar. “That’s how you’ll make it in this industry, sweetheart. Whether you like it or not, you’ll be working under those directors until you make it.”

You stand up so fast that your chair falls behind you, hand raised in the air, and you swiftly slap the man across from you so hard across the cheek that it leaves his skin even more red than the flush from before, and your palm is stinging.

There’s gasps all around the bar, hushed voices, eyes on you, but you don’t care. There’s not a single thing in the world you care more about right now than the anger swelled in your chest.

Ren holds his cheek, surprised, blinking like a pathetic animal. He almost looks like he’s about to cry, and you let out a scoff at the sight.

You turn to face Kai, whose eyes are wide and he’s staring up at you. Your fists are clenched at your side.

“Is this why you brought me here tonight?” you ask. Your voice is trembling, anxiety at the wake, the white anger spotting your vision. But there’s also pain. So much pain, and you’re just so fed up with all of it. “Because your belittling, condescending words weren’t enough to tear my hopes apart, so you had to humiliate me in front of your friends instead?”

Kai holds his hand up. “Woah, Canon, relax. He was just joking—…” Kai glances at Ren, who’s still holding his cheek and biting down on his lip, and then his gaze hardens. “Y’know what? It’s about fucking time you get this wake-up call, y/n. I’ve been trying to do the nice thing to steer you in the right direction, and the least you could—”

“Steer me in the right fucking direction?!” you’re yelling now, registering the way your voice echoes in the bar. “You know what I think this is all about, Kai?” You grit your teeth, “You’re a sick, stupid, sexist fuck who didn’t have the balls to go after what he wanted. So miserably pathetic that you’ve got no other fucking business than to pull people down to your level.”

Kai pinches his eyebrows together, hand on the table clenching into a fist.

You lean down closer, an exasperated scoff leaving your lips. “Why don’t you go be his assistant instead? Since I’m sure you’re good at taking it up the ass.”

Kai’s eyes twitch, “you fucking—”

You grab his glass off the table and throw the alcohol into his face, eliciting another round of noises around the bar, and his mouth falls agape in shock before he gets up out of his chair, hand reaching out to grab for you. You close your eyes shut with a flinch to expect pain. Any sort of pain. But you don’t feel anything at all.

When you open your eyes, you see Gojo standing to your left, veins of his arm tense with the tight grip he has on Kai’s forearm, and you can see he’s practically shaking with rage. He steps in front of you, guarding, and you can’t see the expression on his face, but the fear in Kai’s eyes is enough to say it all.

“That’s enough,” he says, the clench of his jaw evident through the strain in his voice, “try to put your hands on her again, and I’ll split your fucking face in half.”

You can see Kai’s breathing pick up from where you’re peering over Gojo’s shoulder, and then Gojo shoves him backwards right as Choso kicks the fallen chair to his feet so he trips over it backwards then hits the ground with a loud and indignant thud.

Gojo’s hovering over Kai, his hands shoved in his pockets as he glares down at him, while Geto and Nanami put space between you and the other two men at your table. You feel a searing flush to your cheeks. You’re breathing fast, the peering eyes all around you are scrutinizing, looking at you with surprise, confusion, shock, and pity. Your mind is racing, and you wonder what your parents would think of all this. What your friends would think of all of this. What the people who support you would think of the fucked up situation you’ve found yourself in, and the humiliation courses so deep through your veins that you just want to run away and hide. The ground could swallow you whole right now, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

You take one step back, then another, before you turn on your heel to rush out the door into the night, and you barely register that it’s raining. You can feel your heart thumping fast in your chest and in your head, that familiar knot in your throat twisting tight as you walk fast down the street and ignore Gojo’s call of your name from behind you.

You don’t want to see anyone right now. You don’t want to be seen by anyone right now. Especially Gojo, of all people, because he was right about everything, and the fact that you had shut him down about it, and the way that you had shut him down about it makes your head numb and your breathing pick up fast.

“y/n,” you hear him call out from behind you, his pace is getting faster and so you’re resorting to longer strides as well, puddles of water splashing under your feet with every step, “just wait—”

“I’m seriously,” you start, and the tears begin to fall, “I’m seriously so, so, so, so, so fucking embarassed right now,” you gasp out the words with no air left in your lungs to breathe as you continue to run away from him, “so please, just leave me alone.”

You can picture it all in your head. Something like I told you so from his lips, because after what you’ve been put through tonight, you just want to assume the worst in people.

But just as you round the corner into an alley, feeling lost with the sight of a dead end, you feel a hand wrap around your arm and then you’re being pulled into an embrace.

Your eyes are blinking with tears streaming, your face buried in a chest that is warm, with a heart beating so fast that it’s keeping time with your own, and the fragrance that surrounds you is so painfully him that it makes you sob even more.

Strong arms wrap around you, pulling you closer, and Gojo rests his chin at the top of your head. “I’m sorry,” he says softly, and you can feel the rumble of his voice, “I just needed to stop you from running.”

Your arms are weakly raised, an outline over his torso but not yet grabbing on, until you hesitantly do. And when you hold onto him, it’s so tight and strong, and you realize that after everything between the two of you, it’s the first time you’ve been wrapped in his arms.

“I feel so stupid,” you start, already hating the words because you want to be stronger right now, but you can’t.

“You’re not stupid,” he quickly corrects you, “those guys are fucking insecure losers. You’re just trying your best. You always have, for as long as I’ve known you, and it’s something you should be proud of yourself for.”

You don’t know what to say to him, you just cling to the damp fabric of his shirt in the rain.

“Things are going to work out for you, no matter what, because I know you’ve got what it takes and you’re willing to work hard for it,” he says, his chin nuzzling so you’re tucked into him even further, “and if things don’t work out, that’s okay, you’re strong and you’ll always get back up. And I want to be there to help you through everything.”

You pull your face from his chest to stare up at him, droplets of rain falling to your face and making you flinch occasionally. “I’m confused.”

His hand comes up to cup your face, swiping at a tear on your cheek, or maybe it was rain. “I thought that—” he starts, his thumb briefly running over the small cut still healing on your cheek, his brow furrowing, “I thought that I’d be okay with watching your life from afar, through cropped pictures on a screen,” he says, a chill running through you, “but I can’t. It’s killing me. And I’m really sorry that it took me this long to tell you this, but I like you so much and I really want to be with you.”

Your eyes widen at his words, and you don’t know how to feel. You push your face into his chest again. His thumb runs circles at your side through the dampness of your shirt.

“There are a lot of reasons I didn’t feel like I could date you, or show up for you,” he says, “but the pain of not getting to be with you, of not getting to hold you, and just share my life with you is way worse than whatever reasons I kept trying to convince myself of.”

You nod slowly, because there was a part of you deep inside that knew that all along.

His grip on you relaxes slightly and you take that as a request from him for you to look up at him, so you do. “I know I’ve put you through a lot of pain, and I’m really not a perfect person, but if there’s room in your heart to forgive me, I promise you that I’ll do everything I can to make you feel happy and cared for.”

Your eyes study his face for sincerity. They’re words you’ve been wanting to hear, words you could’ve pictured in your head, but the adoration in his eyes makes you realize you never could’ve imagined the true sweetness of those words when they’re said from him.

You press your cheek to his chest again. You’re not crying anymore. “I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier. About kicking a soccer ball, and having it easy,” you bite down on your lip, because now there’s tears in your eyes again, “I didn’t mean it.” You sniffle a little, “I know you work hard. And it was a really mean thing to say.”

He sighs, holding you flush to himself. His cheek presses against the top of your head. “That’s okay, you don’t have to apologize for that.”

“But I do.”

There was no grudge at all. There was nothing withdrawn from you, nothing taken away as punishment. He just held onto you, exactly as you are, and you felt so safe in every second you spent in his arms.

You look up at him again. His hair is damp, strands clinging to his face in all the places they usually fall over, droplets of rain falling from his fringe onto your face and he does everything he can to wipe them away. “It’s too late,” you tell him, and he immediately knows what you’re referring to.

He just holds you closer. “I know.”

“I don’t have feelings for you anymore,” you say through a sniffle.

He knows you’re lying, and that you say it just out of spite, but he holds your head to his chest. “I know.”

“You’ll have to beg and grovel, and even then, I might not like you ever again,” you say, gripping so tightly onto his shirt for purchase, your voice sounding muffled as you breathe in the scent of him. “That’s your punishment.”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head. A firm press of his lips, lasting as he takes a few deep breaths. And then he kisses the same spot again, staying still in that position as he repeats himself.

“I know.”

a/n. phewww thank you for reading, i swear, this chapter felt like a goddamn war to write. my emotions were all over the damn place, i think cause i wrote from a place of bitter experience lol. i dedicate this chap to my lovely friend she’s a film major (she inspired me to create this story) and i srs wouldn’t be able to write kickoff without her 😭💕 dear M♥︎, i thought of you sm while writing this chapter, i can only hope i’ve captured even the slightest bit of the understanding i will always aim to have of you, and that you feel seen. i’m incredibly proud of you, always rooting for you, so often thinking of you, and terribly missing you so much rn (plsssssss visit meee😩💔 ) dedicated w sm love 💕 -bitchasshoe this chapter is also dedicated to anyone who’s going through a hard times n maybe just trying to figure themselves out :”) i am so proud of you, you should be so proud of yourself, there’s still so much to live and learn, and i hope the universe blesses you w everything you’ve ever wanted!! big thank u to my lovely m00t @quinnyundertow she pulled me out of my writers block for this chapter and also beta read a lot of it for me there’s only three chapters left for kickoff (i’m gonna cry just thinking ab it :”)) which doesnt sound like a lot but there’s still a lot i’ve got planned 😭 i’m just noticing that i very poorly planned the second half of this series. chapters 1-6 combined have less words than chapters 7-9 combined 😅✨ sooooo i may increase the chapters from 12 to 14 by splitting them up to make it easier on me, or just stick to the plan and come out with long chapters like the last two. idk. i’ll figure it out. thank u to everyone for reading i love you all dearly 😭💕 i’ll see you in the next one!!

➸ you're all caught up!

➸ wrote some kickoff headcanons here

taglist: @who-can-touch-my-boob @therealestpussyeater @lost-resonance @hojoslutoru @foulprincesscycle @luniunia @alekssashka7 @bsdicinindirdim @tsukikourito @getitsatoru @slut-4-gojo @cactisjuice @kissofife @tiredflame132 @cliosunshine @ethereally-lyann @btszn @prince-wyiilder @semra4 @gojosimp26 @drthymby @ninitoru @bbyxxm @fvsm4x @sadmonke @zoinks1010 @bakuhoethotski @horisdope @sykostyles @aquaberrydolphin @colouringfrogssittinginleaves @ri-sa20 @purplehallow11 @mwtsxri @ritsatoru @bxddiebloss @chwesuh-imnida @mo0nforme @viware @still-fking-single @megumisthirdog @gintokhi @karvokr @cierocanteat @imjustaweirdnerd @ronniebird @bloopsstuff @mwtsxri @witchbybirth @tetsuski @fffinskye @gh0ulkz @beabadobeee @mandysfanfics @erencvlt @laviefantasie @sukunamylovexoxo @girlkissersco @itzjuliana @yell0wdreams @1dimas7 @strayedjeno @mo0nforme @yungbloode @sullybrothersmate @oaooaoaoaoa @swagangelllamawolf @banenemilk @inniesblog

(hope i didn't miss anyone thank u all sm!!)

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soaps-mohawk · 3 months

Text

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 9: Save Me

Summary: You find yourself confronting feelings as you move past the events that caused your distress, and as your heat begins looming closer and closer.

Pairings: Poly 141 x reader

Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, military inaccuracies, language, angst, panic, PTSD, mention of weapons, slight suggestive content

A/N: I feel like a broken record but I really don't like this one either, but I'm so ready to just get to this point in the story lol. I feel like I've dragged it on long enough. We're definitely reaching a point where things are shifting and changing and things might seem like they're moving kind of fast. Sorry for all the choppy time jumps too, I just wanted to get to this point in the fic 😭

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A knock on the door pulls you from sleep. You groan quietly, wrapping your arms tighter around the pillow you're cuddling.

That pillow lets out its own groan, moving slightly.

“Gotta get up, love. Answer the door.” Your pillow grumbles, shifting in your hold.

You're wrapped around Gaz still, clinging to him tightly. You vaguely remember an alarm going off and Gaz rolling over to turn it off before you slipped back into sleep. Gaz had apparently fallen back asleep as well, or at least had stayed with you after both of your alarms going off.

Gaz carefully untangles your limbs from around him, slipping a pillow into your arms before rising from the bed. He stretches his arms over his head, a sliver of skin visible as he does so. You stare at it until he lowers his arms, your eyes already slipping closed again as he opens the door.

You hear quiet voices, the words lost on you as you slip further and further into a daze of sleep.

Until the smell of food hits your nose. Your stomach growls loudly, and you lift your head, squinting sleepily as you search for the source of the delicious smell.

“Morning, sweetheart.” Price's voice rumbles through your ears, his hand warm as it brushes over your head. “How do you feel?”

You let out another groan, leaning into his touch as his hand strokes your hair. You’re still sore, muscles aching like you had spent the entire day yesterday training. You feel less emotionally drained, not quite so overwhelmed to the point of near numbness now.

“Dr. Keller wants to see you after you’ve eaten.” Price says, pulling his hand back.

You let out a quiet whine, trying to chase his hand. He chuckles, gently nudging you back so you don’t topple off your bed. He slips his hands under your arms, moving you so you’re sitting on the bed. Your cheeks warm at how easily he does it, that warmth heating to an inferno as he sits on the edge of your bed with the bowl of porridge in his hand. You’re suddenly very awake as he holds out a spoonful to you, and you feel as if your face might burst into flames. His eyes are focused, lips turning up in a small smile as you let him feed you. You know it’s appeasing his alpha, just based on the pride practically beaming from him.

You hold his gaze as he feeds you the porridge, skin prickling from the attention as you cling to the stuffed strawberry in your lap. You can imagine him in your nest, holding you against his chest, feeding you in your heat-induced daze, making sure you eat and get plenty of fluids.

“You alright in there?” He asks, scanning your face.

You nod, trying to calm the inferno under your skin. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

The content smile on his face shifts, morphing into a smirk. “Must be some good thoughts, then.”

You nod, taking the glass of water he offers you and downing it.

“Get yourself dressed, then we’ll go see Dr. Keller.” He says, pushing himself up to stand.

“Yes, sir.” You nod again, letting out a yawn.

“If you’re not up in ten minutes, I’ll be forced to make you get up.” He says, giving you a playful smirk before leaving and closing the door behind him.

Your face warms again at his words. You’re half tempted to burrow back under the covers, if only to see if he’d follow through with that threat.

Dr. Keller said it would be a good idea.

You tell yourself that as you stand in Price’s office. The door is closed behind you, sealing you both inside together. His scent is heavy in the air, making your head spin. You wonder how long he’s been sitting at his desk, how long he’s been shut inside today.

“Grab a pillow.” He says, his voice thick and heavy. He sounds tired, and you wonder how much he slept last night. If he slept at all.

Your slippers make a scuffing sound as you shuffle over to the couch, grabbing the pillow you had used last time. You move over to him as he leans back in the chair, taking your spot next to him. You sit back on your heels, letting out a breath as you try and relax. His hand strokes the back of your head, giving you a moment to adjust to his touch before he slides it down to the back of your neck.

You fight the instinctual urge to protect yourself, stopping your shoulders from lifting to try and force his hand away. You’re still not quite used to it, the vulnerability making your omega squirm, especially after the events that took place yesterday.

You know you can trust Price, but your omega wants to bristle at everything right now. Perhaps you’re picking up on Price’s own exhaustion, his own stress bleeding into you.

His fingers press into your neck and your body relaxes almost immediately. Your mind begins to clear, and you feel as if you’re floating away from your body. All the emotions and the stress and the soreness in your body fades as you relax into Price’s hold. Warmth begins to flood your body as your omega finally settles, nearly preening as your alpha takes control, taking the weight of the world off your shoulders.

You can’t see Price’s gaze on you as he watches you kneel for him, lost in his own thoughts. How easily you relax for him, how trusting you are of him in this moment. You’re putting your entire being in his hands and trusting him with it, even though you’re practically still strangers. It hasn’t even been three full weeks since your arrival in their lives and already so much has happened. It feels like things are moving so quickly, but he knows they could move faster.

If he were a worse man, a worse alpha, he would have claimed you already. Taken what was his to take and cared little for you and your needs.

He’s not going to be that kind of alpha. He decided that a long time ago, long before you came into the picture.

You fall into him limply as he eases his hand from your neck, letting you rest against him and breathe in his scent. Your nose presses into his neck, your warm little breaths causing goosebumps to form on his skin. A quiet sound rumbles in your chest as you press closer to him, getting louder as you breathe him in.

You’re...purring.

Pride wells within him again. You’re comfortable enough to purr around him. He did that. He made you feel safe and comfortable enough to open up that much.

He slips his arms around you, rising from the floor to move to the couch. You continue to purr, the sound vibrating through you and straight to his inner alpha. The sound begins before he can stop it, his own chest vibrating as he answers your purr with one of his own.

He holds you close to his chest, purring contently as you slowly drift off in your relaxed state. Eventually your purrs die off as sleep takes you, but he continues to sit there, his own purrs vibrating in his chest as if they can reach through and soothe you even in your sleep.

“Too tight?”

You move your wrists, pulling slightly at the restraints. “No.” You shake your head.

“Good.” He runs a hand over your head, tugging at the vest, making sure it’s secured before he steps back. “Alright?”

You nod, shifting slightly in the wooden chair. “Yes, sir.”

“Remember, it’ll be fast and intense, but they’ll take good care of you. Don’t forget to play it up a bit. It’s good to know if they can focus in this situation.” Price says, running his hand over your head again. “And I’ll be watching the entire time.”

He leans down, pressing a kiss on your forehead before he leaves the room, the beta outside the door pulling it closed behind him. You tug at the restraints habitually, even though you could get out of them easily. Just like you could get out of the vest strapped to your chest and the chair you’re sitting in easily.

Hostage rescue training was not how you expected to spend your Thursday morning, but you suppose there are worse things you could be doing besides being restrained in a chair with a fake bomb strapped to your chest.

Price had told you about their training yesterday. You hadn’t expected to hear about how you were going to play hostage when he summoned you to his office, but it had been far too formal a request to be something simple. You had been hesitant when he explained, but the risk was small. They weren’t using live bullets, and the bomb strapped to your chest was hardly more than a bunch of wires and a timer counting down. Price had even ensured the restraints weren’t too tight, and had shown you how to slip out of them easily.

The worst part had been your mind running rampant while he secured the rope around your wrists.

You hear the distant sound of the helicopter dropping them off, the entire mood in the house shifting. The betas outside have a role to play, and so do you.

The sound of the door outside getting kicked in makes you jump, your heart rate kicking up. You know it’s them, you know it’s fake, yet you can’t help but let the emotions in the moment get to you.

They don’t know it’s you they’re rescuing.

Price hadn’t told them you were involved. He wanted to see if they could keep their heads in a situation like this. It’s important to know. Gives them something to work on if they can’t.

You hear the pop of the fake guns outside the door before two solid thuds shake the door in front of you. You hold your breath, your fingers shaking in the excitement and adrenaline as the door flies open. You flinch out of instinct, blinking at them as the three enter the room. It suddenly seems smaller with them in it, their surprise not lost to you, even in the tenseness of the situation. You know you’re scent is thick in the room, cutting through the trained laser focus in their minds as they run through a drill they’ve probably done countless times.

Something they’ve probably done in real life situations as well.

“Easy, sunshine.” Soap says, kneeling down in front of you. “Gonna get ye out of here.”

“You can defuse that, right?” Gaz asks, standing behind him. You know they’re both trained in demolitions. You remember that from their files.

“Course I can.” Soap says, looking at the wires.

The timer starts beeping in warning, your heart rate picking up instinctively. There wasn’t anything that would actually explode if he failed, but you can’t help the chill of fear settling in as he messes with the wires.

“Come on, Johnny.” Ghost says from behind you.

“I got it.” Soap growls out, sweat beading on his forehead.

You stare at him, your heart pounding in your chest. Time seems to slow as he studies the wires, the timer continuing to beep as it counts down. Even though you’re not in any danger, you still feel the fear welling inside you. He does know what he’s doing, he wouldn’t be in this position in the first place if he didn’t. Yet you can see the struggle, the hesitation, the uncertainty in his gaze.

He wouldn’t let you die, right?

“Ten seconds.” Gaz warns.

“Johnny?” You breathe, voice cracking as you meet his bright blue eyes.

He mutters a curse before cutting one of the wires. The tenseness in the room is palpable for a moment as all four of you hold your breath. The silence is loud, the timer on the fake bomb sitting still at six seconds. Soap’s head falls forward to rest against your chest as he breathes a sigh of relief. You’re shaking, fingers trembling as Ghost cuts the rope around your wrists.

“Hostage secure.” Gaz says into their comms.

“I wasnae gonna let ye die, sunshine.” Soap says, removing the vest from your body.

“Kinda felt like it.” You murmur as he helps you out of the chair, your legs shaking a bit from the adrenaline.

“Come on.” Ghost says as soon as Soap has you on your feet. “Captain’s waiting.”

Your legs still feel unsteady as you follow them out of the building and across the grass, hand clutched tightly in Soap’s. The fabric of his glove is rough against your skin, but you can still feel the warmth of his hand in yours. You lean against his side as you reach Price across the field, not missing the way his gaze scans you head to toe quickly before he addresses the others.

“Not bad,” Price says. “And the hostage is in one piece.”

You’re still shaking a little, but you can’t stop the smile that tugs at your lips. “Was kind of fun, actually, getting tied up and stuff.”

Soap and Gaz both let out groans at your words, Ghost rolling his eyes at your cheeky smile. The corner of Price’s lips twitch, and you can’t help but beam with pride at eliciting such a reaction.

“Let’s get back to base, and we’ll go over the specifics.” Price says.

You wind up in the back seat of one of the cars with Soap, his arm draped across the back of the seat. You’re leaning into his side, his fingers brushing your arm every so often as the car drives down the bumpy road.

“Ye called me Johnny.” He says quietly, leaning in closer to you.

You stare up at him. “You were going to let me explode.”

“I was not.” He says, looking offended. “I knew wha’ I was doin’” His brows pinch together, his hand cupping the back of your head. “I would never let anythin’ happen to you.”

“I know.” You say, leaning your head on his shoulder. “At least I hope so. Blowing up is kind of a shitty way to die.”

He huffs out a laugh. “Well, if it happened that way, ye wouldn’t be goin’ out alone.” He presses a kiss to your forehead. “Ye can call me Johnny anytime you want.”

You smile, snuggling deeper into his side. “Okay, Johnny.”

Your smile only widens as you pick up the subtle rumbling purr sounding from his chest.

“How are things?”

“Fine.” You shrug, sinking back in the chair.

“I heard you took part in the hostage training. How did that go?” Dr. Keller asks.

“It was fine, kind of intense but also kind of fun.” You shrug again, a smile tugs at your lips. “They didn’t know I was the hostage, so that was fun to see their reactions.”

“Was that reassuring to see them in action and have them pretend to rescue you? I know we’ve talked about that fear briefly.” Dr. Keller says.

“In a way, I guess.” You say. “At least, I know they could do it if they had to. I mean, not that I don’t trust that they couldn’t, but...it’s different.”

“It’s different when it’s someone you care about.” Dr. Keller says. “How are you feeling? I know we talked earlier this week, but distressing is a serious thing to go through.”

“I’m alright.” You say, picking at your jeans. “Not sore anymore. Price called off training for a while to let us both kind of figure things out.”

“Have you spoken to Lieutenant Riley since Monday?” She asks.

You nod. “Yeah. A couple times. I didn’t accept his apology, not that he really said sorry directly, but he at least...explained some things.”

“And it is totally within your right to not forgive him.” Dr. Keller says. “I applaud you for putting up that boundary. I know it’s not easy, but sometimes people need to work to prove themselves again.” She makes herself comfortable on the couch, staring at you. “How have you been aside from all the excitement? Have you started nesting yet?”

You shake your head, biting your lip. “No. I-I feel more comfortable now that I have things for my room, but...I still don’t feel like nesting.”

Dr. Keller hums, staring at you for a moment before she writes something down. “What do you think is causing this hesitance in your instincts?”

Your mouth opens in surprise at her question, not quite expecting it. You had spoken last week about things you might be able to do to help if you weren’t nesting by now. You had expected to start throwing out ideas in that regard, not that you would be digging into why.

“I’d like you to be honest with me. Remember this conversation will only ever be between us. No one else is going to hear this, no one else will ever see my notes. It’s just you and me.” She leans forward, putting her elbows on her knees as she stares at you. “Would you have chosen to be in a place like this, if it were up to you?”

“It wasn’t up to me. It never was.” You say, starting to sweat nervously a bit. It’s getting warm in the office.

“I know, but hypothetically speaking. If you had the option to choose, would you have chosen a place like this? A military pack?”

You stare at your hands, fighting the emotions welling up inside you. You wouldn’t have. You know that, you’ve thought about it over and over. You wouldn’t have put yourself in this position. You would have gone as far from the military and politics as you could have, had it been up to you. You want something quiet and easy with an alpha that loves you and takes care of you. Not...not this.

You’re crying. You can’t stop the tears that are trailing down your cheeks. You feel guilty for thinking that way. It’s not your choice, it would have never been your choice. You’re supposed to be a good omega and be okay going wherever you’re told to, with whatever pack picks you.

They hadn’t chosen you.

They hadn’t wanted you here. Price had fought against your addition to their pack up until you arrived. You know Ghost has his own opinions about your presence here. They had been told they were getting an omega and you had been told you were going to be that omega.

Would they have chosen you?

You wouldn’t have wanted them to.

Dr. Keller says your name quietly, her tone sympathetic as you sit there and cry. You’re crying for the life you were supposed to have, the life you could have had, the many things that would have been different had you just been a good pup and presented like you were supposed to.

“I don’t want to be here.” You sob, burying your face into your hands.

You feel guilty, admitting it, even if it is the truth. Your pack has been nothing but kind and supportive, aside from the incident earlier this week. You like them, all things considered. You can imagine yourself being happy with them. Was it what you wanted, though? Was this where you would have elected to spend the rest of your life?

No.

“Can you tell me why?” Dr. Keller asks softly.

Her question only makes you cry harder. You could. You could tell her exactly why. You don’t want to bring up those feelings, those memories, those emotions. You want to leave them behind in the past, buried under everything you learned that made you such a good omega. It would ruin everything, if that got out, if those feelings came to light again.

Your breaths are coming in gasps as you sob, Dr. Keller rising from the couch. She grabs a stuffed animal from her closet, walking back over to you. She eases it into your arms, pressing it against your chest.

“Squeeze. It will help.” She directs you, dropping to a knee beside you. “This has something to do with the military, doesn't it?” She says softly, putting a hand on your back. “I know your father served and you spent most of your childhood on bases. Was there something that happened?”

You take deep breaths, squeezing the bear against your chest as tight as you can. “I can’t.” You sob, shaking your head. “I can’t.”

“Okay.” She says, gently rubbing your back. “That’s okay. Deep breaths.”

You continue to breathe, trying to calm the tears. Dr. Keller continues to rub your back, trying to ensure you don't slip into distress again. The calming beta scent floods your nose, reaching back into your brain to calm the turmoil.

Slowly your breaths begin to even out, and the tears slow to a stop. You’re still clutching the stuffed bear to your chest, arms wrapped around it tight.

“You’re doing a good job.” Dr. Keller says, grabbing a box of tissues for you. “You’re handling this whole situation better than I think a lot of omegas would. But, that doesn’t mean you have to be okay with it. I’d be more concerned if you weren’t struggling a bit. You don’t have to tell me everything, you don’t have to tell me anything. It’s all up to you. I just want you to know that I’m not going to judge you for anything, and I’m not going to tell anyone anything. I’m here for you, and you alone.”

You slowly release your grip on the bear, your hands still shaking a bit. Dr. Keller moves back to the couch as you stare down at the plastic eyes, running your fingers over its soft fur.

“I do think it would be a good idea to address the nesting issue sooner rather than later.” Dr. Keller says, still speaking softly. “We don’t have to get into the why until you feel comfortable enough to, but you need a nest before your heat starts. I have a couple exercises in mind to help maybe jumpstart those instincts, but we’ll need Captain Price in on this issue as well for them to work. I can speak for him on your behalf, if you’d like. I won’t tell him any details.” She says as your eyes dart up to look at her. “Only that there’s a nesting issue and there’s some exercises I’d like the two of you to try.”

You let your gaze drop back to the bear. You know you need to start nesting, and with your heat rapidly approaching, you’re beginning to be pressed for time. Your heat could start as soon as next week and if you don’t have a nest...

“I guess that’s fine.” You say, staring back down at the bear in your hands. “If you think he can help.”

Dr. Keller nods, a small smile tugging at her lips. “I think he can.”

“Thank you for meeting with me, Captain Price.” Dr. Keller says as they take a seat in her office. “I just wanted to preface this conversation by saying I was given permission to discuss this with you, because we both agree you should be made aware of what’s going on.” Dr. Keller shuffles her notes as Price sits there, back straight in the chair. “Frankly, if I’m being honest, I’m starting to get a little concerned about my patient.”

“Concerned about what?” Price asks, brows pinching.

“She’s not having nesting instincts.” Dr. Keller watches Price’s face as she speaks. “Even with what you did for her, buying her things to make her more comfortable, she’s not getting that urge to make a nest. I know you’re aware that’s a crucial piece of a successful heat, and with that looming ever closer, I’m worried about her.”

“What do you think is causing it?” Price asks, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

“I’m not sure, yet. I did promise I wouldn’t reveal any details about anything, but I do feel comfortable saying, as I’m sure you have figured out, there’s a lot of trauma behind that institute taught, if I may be so frank, bullshit.”

The corner of Price’s mouth twitches. “Not a fan of institutes?”

Dr. Keller shakes her head. “No. I’m not. There’s many professionals that share the same sentiment. They’re hardly the nurturing and cultivating places they present themselves to be, though I’m sure you’re figuring that out yourself. It’s always been about control and profit. The current model most of them use is outdated and has been proven in study to be highly ineffective. There are some places here in Europe that are beginning to reform institutes and what they teach, taking a more omega-centric approach, instead of just priming them for future alphas and packs.”

“Can it be undone, the things she was taught?” He asks, purely out of curiosity. “The way she thinks about herself?”

“I think so, to a degree.” Dr. Keller answers. “You’re already seeing it a bit. She’s already having her beliefs and understanding challenged. Supporting her through that will be an important step in your bonding. The best thing you can do is support her and prove her institute taught beliefs wrong. I think you’re doing a fantastic job already, as is she.”

“What can we do about the nesting?” He asks.

“I have a couple exercises in mind I’d like to try. I’ve used one in practice before in a different situation. It was at one of the institutes I worked at after I was certified as an omega specialist. Two omegas were brought in off the streets. I can’t give too many details but they’d been through something very traumatic and had bonded intensely with each other. They couldn’t be separated at all without slipping into near distress. Of course, institutes don’t allow those kinds of bonds as it’s hard on the omegas when they reach selection age. So, we did an exercise where I had both scent a stuffed animal and then gave them each other’s so they’d have something tangible to focus on. Then we started slowly working on separation, using those stuffed animals so they could keep the scent of the other close. It worked, eventually they were able to be apart. I’d like to try the same thing, but to the opposite effect. I’d like you to scent a stuffed animal so it can be used as a sort of symbol, something tangible she can use to represent you.”

“A way to introduce me into her nest without having me there invading her space.” Price says.

“Exactly.” Dr. Keller smiles. “Having an alpha’s scent around her might help induce not only that feeling of comfort she needs, but may also help induce those instincts to nest. Doing it this way prevents the risk of discomfort by having an alpha invading her space directly, while still allowing for the introduction of an alpha’s scent.”

“Alright. What else do you think might help?” Price asks, running his hand over his beard.

“Another exercise, this one more tactile in nature. This particular one she can do herself, though she may choose to involve you later as she gets more comfortable doing it. I know she’s kneeling for you already, which is fantastic. Some omegas don’t kneel until after being claimed. That she feels comfortable enough to do it already is a good sign. She’s already had these exercises explained to her, but I would like to meet with you both to walk through them again, and in the end, it’s her decision what happens.” Dr. Keller gives him a small smile. “Do you have any questions?”

“What can be done if these exercises don’t work?” Price asks.

“There are a couple other things that can be done, though they’re far more invasive. I wouldn’t even suggest them unless she’s showing clear signs of pre-heat symptoms and still hasn’t nested yet. They have their risks, and that’s not something I’m willing to gamble on unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

Price hums quietly. “Is there anything I could be doing differently to help?”

“I think you’re both doing fantastic jobs with the hand you’ve been dealt. It’s not an easy situation and the fact she’s made as much progress as she has is remarkable, honestly. My job’s been fairly easy so far. I was expecting a lot worse when Laswell briefed me. That being said, there’s still a long way to go.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Price says, shaking her hand. “You’ve been a big help.”

“It is my job.” Dr. Keller shrugs. “Remember, I’m always here if you have any questions or concerns. I may be an Omega Specialist, but that also includes the omega’s pack as well.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Price says, giving her a smile. “And I’ll be sure to tell your brother you said hello.”

Dr. Keller smirks, huffing out a laugh. “Yeah, remind him to call his sister every once in a while, while you’re at it.”

You run your fingers over the soft fur of the teddy bear. Your eyes flutter closed as you let Price’s scent wash over you. You clutch the bear to your chest, wrapping your arms around it tightly as you lounge on your bed. You bury your nose in its fur, breathing in Price’s earthy scent from it.

A quiet sound begins to rumble in your chest as you hug the bear tightly. A small, content smile pulls at your lips as you curl up in a ball around the bear, purring quietly.

It’s been so long since you purred.

You haven’t since you were a pup, still young enough to find safety in your home, before you really understood much of anything that was going on. You only ever purred with your mother, snuggled up in the nest with your siblings, warm and content and safe.

Your dad never purred. Or, you never heard him do it. You remember the deep growls that rumbled through his chest, the scent of ozone. The warning that made you bristle, even as a pup, that tickling feeling at the back of your neck almost like your brain knew years before you even presented.

You wrap your arms tighter around the bear, letting Price’s scent flood your mind and wipe away the fear, the feelings, the emotions mixing together. Price isn’t like that. He was so willing to help you, to jump in and do what it took to make the best of a situation that neither of you had a say in. Just an alpha and an omega bound to duty, forced to follow what someone else says. How very much alike your lives are, and yet, so vastly different.

That’s why you’ve found comfort in him so quickly, you think. You understand him. He may be a captain, he may be pack alpha, he may be a leader, but he’s not in control. Not completely. There’s still someone behind the scenes, pulling the strings, telling him where to go, what to do. Someone’s pointing him in a direction and it’s his duty to follow.

You were never going to be in control. You were born a subordinate, and you had been cursed to always be one by your presentation. Your entire life would be dictated for you, by someone telling you what to be, how to act, where to go, what to do. There would always be expectations for you, someone behind the scenes pulling the strings.

Your presence here is full of expectation. You weren’t just bonding with a pack as your duty, there was expectation for it. You had been sent here with a purpose, leading an initiative that could shape the future of many omegas to come. You’re not just an omega chosen by a pack that wants one.

You’re part of a government initiative. Your whole purpose is to see if adding an omega to a pack of highly trained soldiers really will improve their effectiveness and proficiency.

Falling in love with them is just a side effect of your own mission.

Love might be a strong word for it. It wouldn’t matter to those watching your progress if you hated them. You’re supposed to bond with them, be their omega. Prove that it’s worth it, that the strengths weigh out the potential vulnerabilities. Then hundreds of omegas stuck in institutes will be trained to follow in your footsteps.

You wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

You’re lucky they’ve been so good to you. You’re lucky you’re beginning to feel it, those spaces in the back of your mind that have been empty for years beginning to fill as your omega comes to accept her pack. The betas anchoring your omega, the alphas surrounding and protecting.

You'll do your duty. You'll bond with them. You'll mate with Price. You'll allow him to claim you. You'll be their good little omega.

It won't be the worst life.

They at least care about you. Gaz and Soap have shown interest in you and mating with you themselves. Ghost...you've got a long way to go with him still, but you're beginning to make some headway into earning his acceptance.

Price...Price has begun to show some interest as well. You've knelt for him, kissed him, allowed him into your space. He calmed your distress, bought you items to help make your space more comfortable. He scented a stuffed bear to help you nest.

He'll treat you nicely, or at least you hope he will. He'll lose himself to his rut when you go into heat, and you've heard plenty of horror stories. You know what to expect, from the best to the worst. You could come out the other side mated and content, or you could come out half mauled to death. There's no way of knowing. Price will be a slave to his instincts just as much as you will be.

You don't want it to be like that.

You don't want your first encounter with the opposite sex to be lost to the haze of your heat, something that could potentially put your life at risk. How long has it been since Price has had an omega? You know he has. He's too calm, too collected around you to never have had experience with one before.

Will he treat you well? How will he touch you? You can't imagine him as being a selfish lover, but you won't know. You won't know until you're dazed with lust as your body yearns for release, for an alpha's knot.

You could find out beforehand.

The thought has you sitting up in your bed. You could pursue that with Price before your heat starts. There's no rule that says you can't before your heat. You know there's omegas that don't wait. There's alphas that don't wait when omegas join their packs. Price could have taken you that first day if he really wanted to.

Would he have bent you over his desk? Done it in his room or yours? Would he have done it in the meeting room in front of the rest of the pack? Staked his claim like some primal alpha?

The thought has warmth pooling in your stomach. The mental image of Price taking you in front of the others, sinking his teeth into your neck as he stakes his claim, marking you as his.

“Fuck.” You breathe, clenching your thighs together.

You could ask. What's the worst he's going to say? No? You'll just retreat in shame and hide out until your heat begins in embarrassment. He was so willing to do what you wanted, what you asked of him. Would he say yes if you asked him? If that's really what you wanted? Does he want it? Does he want you?

All you have to do is ask. You're allowed to want things, to desire things. Everything you've asked for so far, you've gotten.

The heat between your legs only confirms it. You want this.

You want Price.

Your hands are shaking as you reach for the door handle. He had given you permission to enter already, but your nerves make it feel like you’re moving in slow motion as you wrap your fingers around the nob, turning and pushing inwards. His eyes are on you as you slip in, closing the door behind you. You can’t read his face as he sits there, staring at you in your baggy shirt and leggings.

“What’s eating you, pup?” He asks as he stares at you, watching you fidget nervously.

“I wanted to ask you something.” You say, shifting your weight between your feet.

He reaches out a hand, motioning you closer. You approach his desk slowly, taking his outstretched hand. He guides you in front of him, lifting you to sit on the desk. He leans back in his seat, staring up at you. “You can ask me anything.”

You bite your lip, staring down at him. His hands come to rest on the edge of the desk on either side of you. It’s comforting, supportive, instead of constricting as it might have felt just two weeks ago. It only furthers your belief that you’re making the right choice, that this is what you want.

You stare down into his eyes, your hands coming to rest just beside his on the desk. “I want my first time with you to be before my heat.” The words come spilling out quickly, almost so quickly you’re not sure he caught them.

He stares at you, surprise flickering across his face for a moment before he’s back to the straight-faced captain again. “You’re sure?”

You nod. “I want to remember the first time. It’ll make me feel better after we...have to do it. I think...it’ll help me feel less like...I had to.”

Price moves just slightly closer to you, understanding shining in his eyes. “If that's what you really want.”

You nod, sliding your hands until they're resting on top of his. “It is.”

He turns his hands so can hold yours. “Saturday, then. Let me make you dinner and then we'll go from there.”

Your stomach flutters at his words, skin tingling as his thumbs rub the backs of your hands. “You want to wine and dine me first?” You ask playfully.

“Call me old fashioned.” He smirks.

“Maybe just old.” You mutter, shrieking out a laugh as he wraps his arms around your waist, tugging you into his lap. The chair creaks precariously but you know he'd break your fall.

“You want to take that back?” He murmurs, your face inches from his.

“Depends on what my punishment will be.” You say, your nose almost brushing his.

He chuckles deep in his chest, lips brushing yours as he speaks. “You'll have to wait for Saturday to find out.”

Taglist:

@bobaprint @ashy-kit @anunintentionalwriter @mockerycrow @hayleybarnesx @protokosmonaut @fruitymoonbeams-blog @blue-blue0 @hindi-si-ikay @thatonepupkai @redwites @kattiieee @141trash @lothiriel9 @dillybuggg @beebeechaos @konigsmissedbeltloop @kaoyamamegami @idkkkkkkk8363 @wallwriterstuff @smile-child-13 @anomiatartle @dangerkittenclaws @bless-my-demons @mystic60 @evolutionarry @red-hydra @lunaetiicsaystuff @linaangel @codsunshine @thriving-n-jiving @slayerx147 @ferns-fics @spicyspicyliving @cityoffallencrows @ttsbaby01 @heeheehoohoohahahihi @sleepyoriana @ihatethinkingofnames10 @cassiecasluciluce @darling006 @sheep-from-rad @ohgodthebogisback @willow-sages @scythemood @daniblogs164 @mirzamsaiph

#call of duty #call of duty fic #cod fic #poly tf 141 #omegaverse #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #a/b/o #captain price x reader #john price x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #soap mactavish x reader #john mactavish x reader #soap x reader #x reader #tf 141 x reader

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cheriladycl01 · 5 months

Text

Feel the Heat - Grid x F Driver! Reader

Plot: All the moments that Y/N has just absolutely lost her shit.

Warnings: Lots of swearing, mentions of sexism (undertones) which I do not condone at all, its just for the plot and what i see some celebrities are burdened with in the limelight.

Credit to martha-dobie for the GIF

Moment 1:

"So Y/N how do you feel about the 10 second time penalty?" Martin asks you in the post race interview. You were now starting P20 in the race tomorrow and it wasn't even your fault.

"Yeah superb the FIA did a really good job determining who was at fault!" you grit out with a strained smile on your face.

"Oh really? Because your team seem to be arguing against the decision as we speak, they've been very vocal about it"

"Yeah it was sarcastic of course I'm not happy, any other driver who did that would have been let off... but I don't? My team have clips of Hamilton, Ricciardo, Leclerc, Stroll, Gasly and Norris all doing it and getting away with it. So why not me?" you ask before storming off. You didn't want to do media anymore and your PR manager could tell.

"Y/N we are trying to get that penalty lifted so that you start P4 tomorrow. I don't know what else to say, the team are trying" she says rubbing your shoulders, but the scowl on your face says otherwise.

"It's not fucking right though Cathy!" you exclaim kicking the side of the Red Bull hospitality wall.

"I know, i know. And they are working on it!" she exclaims trying to calm you down.

"They wont change their decision now though, the other teams will get pissed that they've gone back on their word..." you seethe.

"Fucks sake" you scream.

"I'm going" you grunt out, before storming through the AlphaTauri garage and grab your bag that you'd brought to the track. Everyone could see how hacked off you were, even once you put the sunglasses on and your team cap to cover the look currently on your face.

"Y/N are you okay?" Yuki your team mate asks, as he too exists the paddock behind you. You tried to ignore him, not wanting to turn round and snap at one of the most genuine and sweetest people here.

"Okay, you don't want to talk and that's fine, but please let me drive. Angry Y/N is scary driving" he advises, trying to beeline ahead of you so that he could get to the drivers door before you.

"Sorry Yuki, yeah you should drive" you manage to get out slowing down your own pace so that the poor male didn't have to run so he was ahead of you.

Aftermath:

You proceeded to not have the time penalty knocked, and you started the race in P20, however you managed to climb all the way up to P5 in a victorious come back race.

Your team were celebrating the come back and you were beyond happy in the interviews.

Moment 2:

"Y/N over here! Can you sign this?" another voice shouts at you, you were in the airport and your manager said that he would be there for you and your girlfriend when you got off the plane with security.

However no-one was there to collect you apart from fans who somehow worked out what flight you were on.

Slowly more and more people were flooding around you both and your girlfriend. Your girlfriend was a smaller streamer and therefore wasn't used to the Paparazzi.

"Guys can we back up a little, just to keep us all safe" you tried being nice to get the fans to back up a little further to make sure your girlfriend was safe.

However, as you went round with the sharpie, more and more people were pushing and you were so out of it from the pushing and pulling, the cameras in your face and things being thrusted at you that the tight grip that was once on your forearm was gone.

"Emma?" you shouted your girlfriends name, now noticing you couldn't see her.

"Emma!" you shouted in an angrier tone, people still not backing up and giving you space.

"Right, I've tried to be nice, everyone please leave. NOW!" you say sternly, and for the first time not only the fans but airport staff notice the commotion and security help you out of the circled crowd around you.

You immediately went to twitter.

'Please, if you are a fan and you see a celebrity in a public space with no security... DONT bring attention to them and DONT mob them. That was the scariest moment of my life in Heathrow Airport just now. Have some fucking respect for your idols'

You shut your phone off, your face still angry most definitely being caught by the paps. They also caught as you ran up to your girlfriend pulling her into a hug, checking over her making sure she's okay, before your hands travel up to her cheek and pull her into a kiss.

"I'm so sorry baby" you apologize as soft tears start to fall down her face.

Aftermath:

Your girlfriend had ended up breaking up with you the week after the race, the pressure of everything getting to her. You cried to Charles and Pierre for an entire weekend as your 3 year long relationship had just come to a close because of your fans not having respect for personal space and boundaries.

You were fuming and had written many tweets and Instagram story's explaining why you guys broke up and how utterly heartbroken you were, however you wanted Emma to be happy and that this is what was for the best.

For months, you were cold and off with any media duties and PR had to tell every interviewer not to bring the breakup up in the questions or they'd cut the interview.

Moment 3:

"Well, Lando... you've been here for six years now and you still haven't got your first win yet... do you feel like your going to be the next Nico Hulkenberg or Kevin Magnussen?" An interviewer asks looking down at his notepad.

"Erm" Lando says unsurely looking down.

"What the actual fuck" you spit, looking at the interviewer that asked him.

"Y/N you have input on this matter?"

"Go fuck yourself. Get yourself in a F1 car and see if you can even fucking start it. Lando has worked hard for what he has achieved so far, in and no hate to Mclaren, but a midfield car. How dare you sit there and ask him that question. Kevin and Nico have also worked hard for where they are, even just being in F1 is a phenomenal achievement considering there are only 20 seats in the world. So to answer your question, no Lando is Lando Norris and that's fucking iconic enough as it is, with or without a win. Have a good fucking rest of the panel" you rant, before standing up with so much force that your seat goes crashing back, a bang sounding throughout the room making the interviewer flinch.

Aftermath:

Everyone actually sat there for a minute reviewing how you'd just stormed out of media duties and slammed the interviewer six feet under.

"So Y/N no longer will be participating into todays panel. So Martin i believe you had a question for Lewis?" the director advised but the rest of the vibes for the interview weren't there as everyone agreed with your previous statements.

Moment 4:

"Y/N are you okay?" your race engineer asks.

"FUCK! FUCKS SAKE. WHAT A PRICK" you screech.

"Copy that. But are you okay?" they asks once again.

"No I'm not fucking okay. Tell Leclerc when i see him, I'm going to shove his wheel so far into his mouth " *cut off*

"Did you guys just fucking mute me?" you scream, but after not hearing anything you jump out the car handing the wheel to one of the pit teams that had come out to collect your battered car.

You kicked at the gravel, yelling at one of the crew asking if they saw how Leclerc had literally gone into you and used you as his crash barrier, yet he was still able to the continue the race pitting for minor wing damage.

Aftermath:

You had yelled at Charles after the race, who completely admitted to you that he was at fault and he was sorry to be the cause of your DNF. He went on to say in the interviews that he was sorry to you that he'd caused such a collision.

Moment 5:

"WOMEN SHOULDNT BE IN MOTORSPORT" you hear from the stand behind you as your signing a little boys hat that he had offered you asking for a picture and a signature.

However, something metallic not only hit you but hit the little boy that was stood to your left. He immediately raised his hand to his head, holding the bit that the can had hit before bursting into tears.

In a moment of shock you spin round looking for the men that had thrown the empty beer cans at you through the fencing.

"Oiii you two get the fuck down here now!" you point at the two laughing gents, who still at being called out.

"Don't ever pull shit like that again or I'll get you permanently banned from every sporting event you could possibly attend" you say looking up at them. They looked at you in shock.

"Oh, I'm sorry if its not the consequences of your actions ..." you laugh.

"But ..."

"No, you hurt a little boy! And me... So I'll be letting bar staff know to no longer serve you" you say before turning away and talking to security.

They ended up finding the little boy and his father. You came up to them with a gift bag each and upgraded paddock passes. They hugged you thanking you for the opportunity and saying it was too much.

You made sure the little boy was okay, carrying him on your hip touring him through the paddock, introducing him and his dad to the other drivers and then showing him around the garage. You let him sit in your car while you took a picture of him and his dad. A mechanic then took a picture of the three of you.

Aftermath:

The media went crazy seeing you stick up for the little boy and his day around the paddock with you. People knew you were sweet despite how short tempered you could be and these interactions proved it.

The little boy and his father ended up actually becoming closer friends of yours and would often be seen in the paddock or when they had general tickets people would wave as they recognized them.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz

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glitterquadricorn · 8 months

Text

Another Leclerc - social media

+ summary: When rumors go around about another Leclerc joining the f1 grid, people automatically assume its Arthur, completely forgetting about y/n leclerc. She'll do anything for a formula one seat. Even if it meant going behind a certain driver's back. +pairing: none. + warning(s): sexism, google translate (I don't speak Italian nor French but if I have something wrong, let me know), like one curse word.

face claim: Lindsay brewer

+ author's note: for a while now I've been wanting to get back into writing, but writing fics stress me out, so I figured making social media/instgram posts will be a lot easier to put together. I've also decided to change how I do social media posts and I'm trying to figure things out, so in the meantime, bear with me.

itsy/nleclerc

liked by charlesleclerc, scuderiaferrari, and 20,102 others

itsy/nleclerc: *insert Sebastian Vettel quote here*

view all comments

charles_leclerc: isn't that my jacket? ⤷itsynleclerc: If I said no would you believe me? ⤷charles_leclerc: give me back my jacket or I'll tell mom ⤷itsy/nleclerc: go ahead and tell mom, you snitch

user1: Charles and y/n is exactly how my sister, and I are whenever she burrows my clothes.

patriciooward: when are you going to let me drive your Ferrari?⤷itsy/nleclerc: never. ⤷josefnewgarden: she won't even let me drive it and I'm her teammate! ⤷12willpower: she's let me drive it ⤷patriciooward: Y/N! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!! ⤷itsy/nleclerc: other than my beloved Ferrari, I only love my bed and my mom I'm sorry!

user2: this made me feel ✨poor✨

scuderiaferrari: you have great taste, miss leclerc ⤷itsy/nleclerc: thank you! :)

user3: you look real good in red liked by itsy/nleclerc

user4: I so badly want her to race for Ferrari with Charles! liked by itsy/nleclerc

arthur_leclerc: is there something you want to share with the class?⤷itsy/nleclerc: nope 🤐

user5: y/n clearly knows something we don't ⤷user6: you don't think she's the leclerc deuxmoi is talking about, right? ⤷user5: I hope not because Arthur honestly deserves that f1 seat more than her.

ScuderiaFerrari:

liked by itsy/nleclerc, charles_leclerc, f1 and 3,689,758 others.

scuderiaferrari: two-time indy 500 winner & one-time indycar champion and the first woman to be in formula one since Lella Lombardi, y/n leclerc joins Ferrari in 2026!

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itsy/nleclerc: this has always been a childhood dream of mine to race for Ferrari! grazie per questa sorprendente opportunità! (thank you for this amazing opportunity) liked by scuderiaferarri

carlossainz55: you can't be serious

charles_leclerc: papa and jules would be proud ⤷itsy/n_leclerc: I know 😭😭

pierregasly: Congrats little leclerc! ⤷itsy/nleclerc: thank you, mon frère (my brother)

josefnewgarden: I'll miss having you around ⤷itsy/nleclerc: you and misses are always welcome to come to Monaco ⤷josefnewgarden: we might just take you up on that offer

lewishamilton: hopefully this is a step in the right direction in making the paddock more inclusive and welcoming for everyone! liked by itsy/nleclerc

user1: y/n doesn't belong in formula one. ⤷user2: and the fact that she's replacing someone that didn't need to be replaced is astounding! ⤷user3: the pressure will be too much for her and she'll fail like past women who've tried to make it in f1 ⤷user4: I predict she won't make it to summer break before she quits ⤷user5: why is it so hard for you to comprehend a woman being in formula one? I mean, if you hate women, just say so.

user6: my daughter has expressed interest in karting because of y/n

12willpower: I wish you nothing but the best, kid. ⤷itsy/nleclerc: thanks, old man! 😘

user7: y/n signing to Ferrari is great and all, but I'm over here asking myself what tf is in the water in monaco because it should be illegal to be this good looking! ⤷user8: you're out here asking the real questions ⤷user9: all I'm saying is God bless mama Leclerc

Chili man🌶️ How could do this to me? I thought we were friends.

Mini Leclerc What do you mean?

Chili man🌶️ Don't play dumb, y/n. You know exactly what you did.

Mini Leclerc Yes, I did sign with Ferrari. Yes, I did take your seat. You didn't sign an extension and they reached out to me. I saw an opportunity and I took it.

Chili man🌶️ I was getting ready to talk to Fred about an extension.

Mini Leclerc Early bird gets the worm?

Chili Man🌶️ You're a real bitch, you know that?

Mini Leclerc You think that's the first time a man, much less anyone has called me that? You know as much as I do that Formula one is a competitive sport and in order to get a seat, you may have to do some unspeakable things. Let me ask you a question, though. If the roles were reversed and you were me, would you have done the same thing?

*read*

Mini Leclerc you leaving me on read lets me know you would've. But I'll never apologize for my actions, Carlos. If you have any interest in IndyCar, I can give you some resources to help you out. Good luck in any of your future endeavors, Carlos.

---

thank you to @lorarri and @majaverse for helping me out. they didn't have to do that, but they did, so this is dedicated to them! :)

tagging list:

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @patzammit @yagirlmexic @tinycyberhacker @keenmarvellover @mrspeacem1nusone @lendeluxe @alexxavicry

if your name is crossed out, I couldn't tag you.

I'm going clean out my tagging list again, so if you want to stay on it, let me know.

#f1 x reader #formula one x driver!reader #formula one imagine #formula one x y/n #formula one x you #charles leclerc x leclerc!reader #arthur leclerc x leclerc!reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #f1 x female reader #f1 x driver!reader

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jadeddangel · 3 months

Text

Adam x reader (smut)

Disclaimer: This story is meant for mature audiences, If you're not over the age of 18, please do NOT interact with any of my work. Any and all characters I write for are over the age of 18. Having said that, please enjoy the story. Reblogs are always appreciated!!

Warnings : Adam being well adam, smut, hair-pulling, misogyny, p in v, oral sex (male receiving), unprotected sex, breeding kink ,dom! Adam, sub! Reader, minor sexism, and I think that's all let me know of I missed any.

AN: This is my first time writing for Adam, so please be respectful. This isn't proofread.

🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶

You were Adam's third and hopefully final wife, you had been aware of the exterminations by the time you and Adam had started dating... which meant once a year adam left you... home alone and worried.. I mean what if one day he never came home? What if he was hurt? What if he was stuck down there with those... those THINGS... it had been hundreds of years since the two of you started dating and that fear... it never went away...

Adam had left you alone in your shared home claiming he had a meeting with the princess of hell, which of course caused doubt and curiosity but you trusted him and you would trust him tell the bitter end. It had been almost 30 minutes and you couldn't wait for him to be home. The bed was growing cold, and with how quiet the loft had been it felt well.. creepy?

Having grown attached to Adam's well..loud Behavior, it didn't seem like you were in the right house at all. After about another thirty minutes, Adam barged through the front door of your loft, not trying to conceal his previous in the slightest; perking up at the sound of his heavy boots and the awfully loud door you shuffled out of bed the soft pink nighty that you wore trailing after you. "Sugartits? Where you at hun?" Adam called out half expecting you to be in the kitchen making lunch for him. You were trying your best to sneak up on him but the creaky floorboards gave you away, Adam quickly turned around the golden smile of his mask seeming to grow wider at how little you were wearing "oh darling~ you look so pretty like that~ did you already finish lunch hmm? " Adam asked as he grabbed your waist with one hand before successfully pulling you closer, this other hand pulled his mask off as he placed it onto the counter thoughtlessly.

"Uhm not yet.. I was just laying in bed.." You spoke softly as you quickly avoided eye contact half expecting him to yell. Adam shook his head "oh dear.. that won't work, it's a very simple thing to do hunny, all I ask is that you cook and clean surely it can't be that hard for you women to understand." Adam spoke down to you like you were dumb, like every word had to be spoken slowly just so that you could understand. It was condescending and degrading how he spoke to you... You nodded slowly "sorry adam.. I'm sorry for not having food ready and leaving the house a mess..". At this point you knew better than to argue with this well to put it kindly, man child. Adam had a smirk on his lips "good good, see? That wasn't so hard was it? Now how about you go get started on My food while I watch one of those stupid picture shows mk?" Adam spoke this time a little less of a bitchy tone; nodding slowly you walked into the kitchen getting started on his favorite ribs. Unfortunately, that was about the only thing this man would eat which wad really taking a toll on his health and his weight; with a sigh you plated up his food and brought it to him on the couch. Adam looked up from the comedy show he was watching and smirked "see it wasn't so hard was it?" Adam spoke before messily stuffing his face, in front of other people he would never eat like this but in his home he didn't give a shit if he made a mess, I mean that is his little S/O's responsibility. Adam handed you the plate before noticing the sheer fabric hanging over your chest and gave you a smirk "is that the nighty I bought you?" Adam said in a secuctive tone having finally noticed . With a small nod you set the plate down and crawled onto his lap knowing exactly what Adam was going to say, Adam raised a brow gripping the fat of your ass in a tight squeeze "you look beautiful but how about we just take it off mk? Cmon you know how much I love that body of yours~" Adam whispered into your ear seemingly trying to coax you into doing as he asked.

Adam's hands slowly trailed up your back leaving tingles across your body and shivers along your spine. Every touch brought the thin fabric over your body before Adam finally tugged it off of your body tossing it over the back of the couch. Adam's crotch was pressed against yours, already feeling him beginning to grow hard at the sight of you wearing nothing underneath.Squirming slightly at the feeling of Adam's eyes grazing over your body like he was starving, you began feeling up in his chest feeling over the soft fabric and down his sides slowly. Adam was letting you have this moment to feel up on him as he began pawing at your chest like if he didn't feel you up he would surely die (oops spoilers sorry sorry lmao).

Letting at soft moans at the feeling of his rough hands grazing over your nipples in just the right kind of way to give you a pleasure that wasn't all too overwhelming. Adam's other hand gripped onto your waist pushing you down a bit more forcing you to grind down on him, and god the soft groans and grumbles he let out when you rocked your hips drove you insane. Adam let go of your tit pushing his own shirt up slightly to reveal his happy trail before tugging at his pants and boxers just trying to get them down enough to spring up. Adam gave you a smirk before using his arms to push everything off of the table that was front of the couch and onto the floor pushing your back against the cold wood. Adam's hands immediately went to your thighs and spread your legs still sitting in his sitting position on the couch, before spitting onto your clit using 2 fingers to rub it in as lube. "Fucking damn... " Adam groaned out at the sight of your arousal and his saliva mixing, "I think you can take me yea? You can take the stretch won't you hmm?" Adam asked rhetorically knowing he was going to do it anyways. You nodded slowly spreading your legs a bit more for him, Adam finally stood in front of you spanking your clit lightly with the tip of his dick.

"cmon, ask me nicely, girl~ just the way I like~" Adam leaned down and whispered into your ear before pulling back and looking at you expectantly. You took a deep breathe " Please stretch me out with your cock adam.." you begged in a pitiful tone. Adam would have easily let that pass but that wasn't what he was looking for, " cmon girly~ you know that's not the name I was looking for~ try again mk?" Adam said frowning down at you now. "Please stretch me out with your cock.. master" you repeated praying this time it passed his expectations. Adam graced you with a cocky smirk at hearing the sinful and lewd words, as he slowly pushing his mushroom shaped tip into you he let out a small groan before the rest of his 8 almost 9 inch dick into you. You let out a small shrill scream as he had expected you to take it no problem.. the length may have proved to be a challenge but he was thick and he had just forced it into you. Adam wiped away tears you hadn't realized had fallen from your eyes, "oh girly, cmon we know you can take it~ it's your job after all~ to make sure I'm catered too, now I'm gonna start moving understood?" Adam asked as if he was even giving you a choice in the matter. Adam started thrusting into you slowly trying to get you to loosen up around him so he can wreck your guts (respectfully). The moment your gushy walls started to relax he sped up hitting right against your g-spot over and over, obviously knowing what he's doing. Adam smirked down at you as he pounded into you with no mercy. The only noises that filled the rooms was the sound of skin slapping against skin , your moans and the sound of Adam's wings ruffling and puffing up. With a gentle and desperate hand you reached up to grab at him needing something to ground you the closer you got, it felt like you were flying. Adam let out curses of pleasure as he rapidly approached his high. "Fuck fuck fuck! Your gripping me so tight princess so fucking tight!" Adam growled out between labored breathes. You were so close you were just babbling wordlessly to let him allow you to reach your high. Adam grabbed your hair slamming your head back down onto the table and pounding into your poor little hole harder using his other hand to reach down and rub your clit roughly "i want you to cum for me girly~ so fucking tight~" Adam groaned. At the order your body couldn't help but react your hips bucking up to meet him as you finally came all over his dick and thighs. Adam moved his hands to grip your waist for leverage, Adam's wings stretched out towards the ceiling as he came, his thrusts finally slowing down.. you were beyond exhausted.. but you knew that with Adam one round was never enough. And as if on que Adam tapped your cheek looking down at you with a smirk.

"Cmon girly time to wake up~"

Taglist: @miss-menhera @rinspiritwolf @spookysquids

#hazbin hotel adam #adam x reader #smut #hazbin hotel smut #x reader #adam x reader smut #adam smut #hazbin smut #hazbin adam #hazbin adam smut #hazbin hotel #jaded works🪶

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gentlyweeps-world · 6 months

Text

The "It" Girl | 2

summary: Being a rookie in the world of Formula One comes with challenges, added on with the fact you’re a girl, American and racing for Red Bull doesn’t help. While you do have your “guard dogs” and “it girl” tendencies, it doesn’t help that you’re also trying to figure out romance.

pairing: 2021 grid x fem! driver, lando norris x fem! driver reader

warnings: sexism, alcohol consumption, toxic environments, uncomfortable situations

Previously: Finally reaching the Red Bull garage, Max and you get there and are immediately bombarded with cheers, laughter and applause from the Red Bull team.

After a good hour of celebrating with the team, you feel your phone vibrate in your hand, “Who is it?”, Max asks, curious to see who texted you.

Checking the notification it’s from an unknown number, asking if you wanted to go and celebrate with them, you look up at Max with confusion, but his face shows the opposite.

“Didn’t know he would be asking you so soon..”, Max says with a look of shock.

LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO

“Who??” You ask, looking up from your phone to Max. “What are you guys looking at?” Alex Albon asks, the reserve driver for Red Bull, and a good friend.

“Apparently Lando finally got the balls to ask her out” Max says with a surprised yet nonchalant expression, looking up at Alex. “Isn't he a year older than you?” Alex asks, looking down at your phone and reading over the text.

“Yeah so what?” You ask confused, “And Max you can’t say anything about age gaps because of Kelly” You grumble out, giving him a stern look.

“Ouch..” Max mumbles out, “Honestly he should've asked you in person, a bit of a pussy move if you ask me” He says rolling his eyes as he takes a sip of his Red Bull, which for some reason he always had one.

“Plus aren’t you two best mates?” You ask Max, “I mean yeah…but you could do so much better than Lando!” He says, grabbing your phone from your hands with a grin and snicker.

“Hey! Max stop! Alex, help me!” You say as Max starts running away with your phone, typing back something to Lando, while Alex just stands there, his hands raised up defensively, not wanting to be a part of the chase.

Eventually you give up, walking back to Alex you let out a huff of annoyance. He lets out a chuckle. “If it means anything I think you two would be cute” He says, bumping his shoulder into yours.

“Thanks..” You say softly, noticing Max walking back with a grin on his face. “I don't know how Christain would feel about it but that doesn't really matter'' Alex adds on.

Once Max reaches you both you snatch your phone from his hands, quickly unlocking it you checked what he sent.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" You screech out, hitting Max. "I'm sorry I had to! Play hard to get, see if Lando actually cares!" Max says, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him.

You let out a sigh, sliding your phone back into your pocket. You love Max, you truly do, but sometimes he could be a bit annoying like an older brother.

"Wait are you even allowed to drink?" Alex asks, rolling your eyes you reply, "Yes I'm 21.." You grumble out. Max, Alex and you all slowly make your way out of the track, obviously after all of your media duties and debriefs.

Max, Alex and you all slowly make your way out of the track, obviously after all of your media duties and debriefs.

As the three of you make your way out of the track, you start to notice there are still quite a few fans that are lingering.

Many want pictures, and there is even one group that has brought a very large cardboard sign. The sign reads “Y/n for WDC!” in big bold letters, and they all look ecstatic at the thought of getting their picture with you.

You quickly stop to talk to the group, taking photos and signing anything they wanted signed.

You stand with the group of fans for a good minute, signing autographs and taking pictures, making sure everyone gets a bit of your time.

After signing what must’ve been over 50 autographs and taking more photos than you can count, the group seems to be satisfied and slowly disperse.

Max and Alex both look at you with wide smiles on their faces. “You know you don’t have to sign every single one of those, right?” Alex asks, “Just do a few.” Alex’s voice is a mix of laughter and teasing.

“I know..but I want to show my appreciation towards my fans, it means a lot knowing so many people support me” You say, looking over at Alex and Max.

“Y/n, you are so sweet.” Alex says with a genuine smile, putting his arm around you to give you a hug.

Max laughs a little. “Come on, let's go.” He says, and the three of you start walking back towards Max’s house.

As you walk, Alex nudges you again. “So, do you think Lando will call or text you back after the message Max sent?” He asks with a nervous look on his face.

“Honestly I’d be shocked if he said anything to me at all, if Max wasn’t so overprotective he wouldn’t have scared Lando off!” You say, narrowing your eyes at Max as the three of you continue to walk.

Max laughs at your comment. “I wasn’t trying to scare him off, just a little bit of tough love.” His laughter is contagious and you can’t help but grin back at him.

Alex rolls his eyes back at you. “So this isn’t the way you usually flirt with dudes, huh?” He says with a teasing tone.

“Not really no, I mean when I was a teenager I would text some guys but it never led anywhere, clearly Max ruined my chance with Lando” You say, still salty over Max’s antics earlier.

“Like I said before, tough love!” Max says with a chuckle. You turn to Max and playfully punch him on the shoulder. “You really are an ass.” You say, laughing. Max laughs back at you.

You three make it out of the paddock and walk over to Max's car. He unlocks the doors and gets into the driver side, while Alex pushes you out of the way and gets into the passenger side.

You roll your eyes at Alex and climb into the back. “Since Alex was an ass I get aux!” You say with a smile, plugging your phone in and starting a random playlist on Spotify.

Shuffling through a few songs you make a queue. Max starts up his car, pulling out of the parking lot he starts to drive off to the club you three had previously decided to go to.

Giggling, you show Alex the song that’s going to play next, “Oh he’ll love that..” Alex says with a chuckle, Max only side eyes you too.

After “Life is a Highway” finishes the familiar beat of “33 Max Verstappen” plays in through the speakers. (Pretend the song was made in 2021). Max lets out a groan, “I swear I will purposefully crash this car Y/n!” He says, jokingly of course.

You and Alex burst out laughing, but then Maxs phone goes off, someone was calling him. The contact information for Lando pops up on the screen he has in his car, because of course Max Verstappen has a fancy car that has that.

You and Alex grow silent, “Pretend that you’re not here Y/n” Max says, pressing his fingertip to the accept call button.

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y/n what a good day to be racing for Red Bull

View all 4,503 comments

maxverstappen33 Very proud! Happy to share the podium with you!

maxverstappen33 Horrible song choice though

y/n personally I thought it was an amazing choice

alex_albon I agree with y/n 🙋🏻‍♂️

redbullracing That’s our girl!! So proud 🏆♥️

y/n 🥹♥️

f1 She is the moment, she is a icon 👏

user2178 she’s literally so bad, horrible image on f1

user640 Go cry about it, grow up mate

landonorris congrats Y/n!! well deserved!

y/n thanks Lan!!

mclaren 👀🧡

redbullracing 👀♥️

maxverstappen33 I’m watching you Lando

user227 Y/N X LANDO?????

user307 No Y/n x Charles is the only acceptable answer

user630 Or Y/n with no one!!

lilymhe So proud!!! Can’t wait to see you ♥️

y/n LILY ILY MY GF ❤️❤️

alex_albon Nevermind, horrible song choice

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

radio 🪩: Honestly enjoyed this one so much, leave any comments, suggestions or anything 🫶. Once again requests are appreciated!!

taglist: @willowpains

next part

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sebscore · 1 year

Note

if you feel comfortable doing so, how do you think the grid would react if gzd was going through a rough patch and she’s being like really quiet and in her head?

i’m kinda slipping back into this era and i just need the grids comfort

THIS IS ALL I NEVER WANTED

pairing: lando norris x driver!reader / daniel ricciardo x driver!reader / sebastian vettel x driver!reader / lewis hamilton x sebastian vettel

warnings: reader feels defeated and is ready to give up. swearing. mention of sexism.

author’s note: the comfort fic is finally hear, lmao :) sorry that it took me this long, got caught up with gentle hit, but it’s here now !!

masterlist

• • • • • • •

''That's the car of Y/L that goes into the gravel- another DNF for the young driver.'' Crofty commented as he watched her retire from the fight for the third consecutive race.

Meanwhile in the car, Y/N's radio was bombarded by her engineer. ''We're so sorry, Y/N. A podium was possible, but we'll keep pushing harder for next time. We'll debrief.'' Marco apologised, frustration and guilt audible in his voice.

''Understood.'' The indifferent tone came as a surprise to the team and viewers, but it was understandable as the driver hadn't been able to finish a race in over a month.

The ride back to the paddock was humiliating to say the least. The pitiful looks from fans, the judging eyes of critics and the loud whispers didn't do much to brighten the dark cloud that was her mind.

Her post-race interviews also weren't a great help to her already declining confidence.

''It's the third consecutive DNF for you- how are you managing to stay positive and to not lose hope in the car?'' Nathalie asked her, sounding compassionate.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. ''Nothing is positive at all,'' she sarcastically chuckled, ''I think I'm doing everything right and then it all goes wrong for some reason.''

''I'm working hard with the team, but it doesn't seem like it's paying off at the moment. I'm just very disappointed and I- yeah, well, I hate the car.''

The reporter in front of her wasn't used to the visible pessimism of the female driver. Y/N was known for her cheerful and up-beat character, always open for a chat and ready to take on any challenge. That figure seemed to be missing at the moment.

''I hope it gets better for you, Y/N. You're an amazing driver and I wish you good luck for the next race weekend, thank you so much for talking to us.'' Nathalie rounds up the interview before signalling to her cameraman to stop the filming.

Y/N was about to leave, but a gentle grab of her wrist stopped her. ''Hey, darling- don't let this get you down, alright? There are many people rooting for you here, me included, and we all want to see you do well. You have incredible talent and we know these lasts results aren't a reflection of that.''

The Sky Sports presenter had a soft spot for the young woman ever since her arrival to the paddock. Nathalie has always been amazed by Y/N's ability to shrug off all the sexist remarks and to prove the people that doubt her wrong.

''Thanks, I appreciate it.'' The soft smile on Y/N's face was a fake one, even a child could spot that. However, her words and gratefulness were genuine and that's all that mattered to Nathalie.

The driver moved quickly between the different journalists, not in the mood for the long and lovely chats that would have happened had she crossed the chequered flag. ''If one more person reminds me of all the DNF's, I'm going to knock myself out with one of these microphones.'' She mumbled to her team's press officer, making the woman laugh but also look at Y/N with a bit of concern.

Luckily for her, all the media responsible people must have listened to her prayers and went easy on her- maybe sensing her agitation and worsened mood. She and her press officer moved back to the team's hospitality, where a dreaded team briefing would take place.

''Obviously these aren't the results that we want. We want wins, podiums and points.'' Her team principal started off the meeting, standing at the head of the table. ''It is clear that changes need to be made, whether that be the car, the strategy or the driver even.'' The eyes of the team shifted from their leader to the young woman staring daggers at him.

''It's not my fault that the fucking engine blows up or that another drivers decides he wants to play bumper cars.'' Y/N defended herself, not seeing why she should be replaced.

He shook his head. ''I didn't say it was your fault, but we have to look at all the options and that includes you, Y/N.'' The man clarified, taking a deep breath.

The woman rolled her eyes, causing Marco to send her a stern look that said ''Please, don't make this harder on yourself.'' She got his sign and sat up straight in her chair, figuring her slumping didn't give off a great impression.

The briefing continued for another hour, going over all the alternatives they had and all the work they had to do while waiting for the next race weekend. ''Alright- thank you, everyone! Have a great break.'' The team principal dismissed the team.

Y/N was the first one to get up and leave, debating if she would slam the door, but she didn't want a Kevin x Guenther moment with her boss.

By the time she was on her way to her hotel, most fans had gone home themselves and the paddock was occupied by crew members cleaning the place up. Y/N had a slow pace while walking, not in any hurry to leave the circuit.

''You're going back to the hotel?'' A voice behind her spoke up, making the female driver yelp as she didn't expect someone to walk up on her.

Y/N turned around, Lando looking at her with a grin. ''Did I scare you?'' He laughed, finding amusement in making his friend flinch.

''You could have been a serial killer for all I know, you idiot.'' She slapped his arm, the tension leaving her body as it was only Lando and not some creep.

''Only on track.'' He winked.

The young woman frowned at his action. ''Please, never do that again.'' Her feigned disgust with his wink resulted in a light push from her friend.

''So… you're going to the hotel now?'' Lando asked her again, not having received an answer yet.

Y/N nodded. ''Yeah, I could use some sleep before the flight tomorrow.''

''You, uh, wanna take a car together to the hotel? You know- that way we're not wasting gas, I guess.'' He nervously asked, mumbling the question almost under his breath.

''Sure,'' Y/N chuckled, ''Seb will be proud of us.''

They decided to take his car as she wasn't in the mood to drive anymore and Lando didn't seem to mind. She was grateful for Lando's company, at least her bad day would end on a good note.

''Sorry about the race today, I know you could have done more.'' Despite being competitors, they were also great friends and it's not fun seeing your friends have bad results.

Y/N sighed. ''My team- they're, uh, thinking about replacing me.'' She wanted to get her worries off of her chest and Lando bringing up the race seemed like the perfect oppurtunity for it.

''What?'' He exclaimed, not anticipating that sentence to come out of her mouth.

''They say they just have to think about all the changes they could make to get better results, but they've been talking an awful lot about the junior drivers so I'm just preparing myself for it.'' She clarified for him, resting her head against the window.

Lando let her words sink in. ''They- they can't possibly do that, you're one of the best drivers on the grid.'' It came out louder than he intended, but the thought of one of his best friends not being with him on track anymore upsets him.

''They can do that,'' she sarcastically chuckled, ''I'm impressed I lasted this long- I just know the FIA will be throwing a party now that they don't have to be feminists anymore.''

''What do you mean 'lasted'? You're not going anywhere, we have enough races left where you can show your true skills.'' Lando took his eyes off the road to look her in the eye, perhaps wanting her to see how serious he was.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders, not wanting to talk about it any further.

The car stopped in front of a red light. ''Hey,'' Lando put his hand on top of hers, ''I'm being serious. We've been racing against each other for over 10 years now- you're a good driver. You'll probably be a World Champion one day.''

''You really mean that?'' Her usual confident demeanour had been traded in for an insecure one, her voice coming out smaller than normal.

He chuckled, nodding his head. ''Of course, I wouldn't lie to you.'' The gentle way he was looking at her assured her that he was in fact being serious and meant everything he said.

''Thank you,'' Y/N turned her hand and squeezed Lando's, ''now, shut up and drive me to the hotel!'' She pushed his hand away. ''Enough of this emo shit.''

''This is the one time I am being nice to you and you just reject my love.''

''Stop being so emotional, Norris.''

''There she is!'' Daniel loudly announced as Y/N stepped onto the plane, his hands up in the air.

She tiredly waved at everyone, exhausted from the lack of sleep she had gotten. The young woman groggily sat down next to her Australian colleague, Michael sitting in front of them.

Daniel snickered at her disoriented state. ''Good morning to you, mate.'' He greeted her, his infamous bright smile on his face.

''It's fucking early, what are you so happy about?'' She mumbled, while trying to find a good sleeping position.

''I'm grateful that I get to live another beautiful day, Y/N! We don't appreciate our existence enough, we need to-''

''I'll be grateful for my life when you shut up and let me sleep.'' She interrupted him, closing her eyes and pulling her hat slightly over her face.

The McLaren driver opted for another teasing comment, but he could see the obvious exhaustion she had going on and let her be, a light pat on the shoulder working as his way to say ''have a good nap''.

About an hour later the turbulence of the plane woke her up from her much needed sleep. Y/N took her hat off and noticed Daniel still awake, scrolling on his phone while listening to music through his headphones.

A soft push against his arm brought his attention from his device to the woman next to him, immediately smiling upon seeing that she's awake. ''Sleepyhead.''

The beam on his face slowly changed into a nervous frown, worrying his friend. ''What is it? The reality of life finally settled in?'' Y/N awkwardly said, trying to cheer him up.

''No, uh, it's just that uhm interview you did with Nathalie yesterday- I watched it.'' He answered, sympathy written all over his face.

''Oh,'' she sat up straight in her seat, ''well, you know it was just after the race so obviously I was very frustrated. You know how it is.'' The driver tried to come off as nonchalant, failing horribly.

''Lando told me, Y/N.'' Daniel revealed, wanting her to drop the 'it's not a big deal'-act.

She sighed. ''Oh, that little snake.'' She muttered under her breath.

''No, I'm glad that he told me. He said he's never seen you so defeated and the way you were talking to Nathalie- you haven't given up, have you?'' Daniel had seen how her recent race results had affected her, but he wasn't aware how deep her frustrations and insecurities had settled in.

Her silence to his question was an answer in itself.

''You've been working your ass off since you were like what? 5-6? You're not gonna throw all of that away just because of 3 bad races, right? That's nothing like you.'' The Australian ranted, baffled over her ruined confidence.

Y/N glanced outside her window, seeing they were high above the clouds. ''I'm not throwing anything away, it's just… my teams seems to have already made up their mind and are just waiting on the right time to tell me that someone else is taking my place.'' The young woman clarified, her words not helping Daniel's growing worries.

''They would be fucking idiots to replace you, you know that.'' He sneered, rolling his eyes at the thought of another person driving in her seat.

She weakly chuckled at his response, not finding much humour in the insult to her bosses.

Daniel's shoulder gently pushed against hers. ''Hey, maybe you need to talk to Seb or Lewis, they're better at this pep-talk shit than I am.'' He suggested, figuring the two older men might have more of an influence on her.

Y/N let his words process for a few seconds, considering seeking a listening ear in either of the world champions. ''I- I don't know, Dan. They probably have better things to do.''

''Like what?''

''I don't fucking know- planting trees, feeding Roscoe, whatever.'' She blurted out, making both of them laugh at the random activities they could be doing.

''Just think about it, I think you'd feel a lot better after talking to one of them.'' Daniel didn't want to push her, knowing it would have the opposite effect on what he wanted for her.

A tired smile made its way onto her face. ''I will, thank you.''

''Good,'' his face mirrored hers, ''and if they do replace you, they're just like Netflix.''

''Like Netflix?''

''A bunch of cunts.''

''I've never seen her that quiet.'' Sebastian mumbled to the Brit next to him, observing the young woman who sat slumped over in her chair.

Lewis looked over at her, being as equally bewildered as his German colleague. ''I don't blame her, all the stuff they've been saying about her is awful.'' He whispered back.

''What do you mean?'' Sebastian frowned.

The Mercedes driver uncomfortably shifted in his head, leaning more towards his friend. ''People have been saying a lot of shit on social media and those fucking annoying journalists certainly don't help. Also, that interview their team principal did.''

Sebastian rolled his eyes at the mention. ''Hanna showed me, that was so out of line. He knows people have been wanting her out since the day she got in- shame on him for making all of that so public.''

Her team principal had given a quite lengthy interview over the break between the race weekends, publicising the team's problems and their possible solutions, which included a hint to a potential driver change-up.

''None of the DNF's were even her fault, it's absolutely ridiculous.'' The slander on her name greatly upset Lewis, aware of the talent she possessed and it made him angry that there was even a chance that she might not be on the grid with them the next year.

''I know and it has taken such a toll on her, Daniel said he talked to her, but I'm a little worried.'' The Aston Martin driver told Lewis, his puzzled look turning into one of sadness.

The Brit scratched his voice. ''Maybe you can give her some confidence? You've known her for a long time, I'm sure she'll appreciate it.''

Sebastian slowly nodded his head, figuring the World Champion might be right. ''Yeah, I'll talk to her later.'' He confirmed, still watching the obvious daydreaming woman from across the room.

The driver's briefing went on for about half an hour more, the director seeing the visible boredom on every person's face and calling it a day for everyone.

Y/N couldn't have been more relieved that the meeting was finally over, wanting nothing more than going back to her own hospitality and figuring out ways to make the car work, and actually finish this time around.

She was one of the last people to leave the briefing room, only George, Lewis and Sebastian walking behind her. The latter tapping her shoulder. ''Hey, haven't talked to you today.''

''Yeah, lots of briefings with the team, you know.'' The younger one responded, giving him a quick glance.

''How's that going?''

The woman remained silent for a few moments, considering how much she should tell her mentor about the current state of her place in the team. ''Uhm, well, it's going… decent, I guess.'' Y/N muttered, trailing off.

''Decent?'' Sebastian repeated, as if asking ''are you serious?''

''There are like a bunch of reporters around us, what do you want me to say?'' She replied, a defensive tone to her voice.

The German patted her back, sensing her agitation. ''It's okay, let's discuss somewhere private.'' He calmed her down, suggesting a different place to have a conversation.

''Okay.''

They opted for her personal driver's home, that being the closest space where they could talk with just the two of them. Some of her team's staff had given the Aston Martin driver some weird looks while they walked through the hospitality, but he brushed them off.

The pair sat down on her small couch once they arrived, not much space between them.

Y/N felt some nerves settling in her stomach as she waited for Seb to start speaking, not knowing what he was going to tell her.

''I'm just gonna be straightforward,'' he started off, ''you can't continue with this attitude, cause you're only setting yourself up. You are a great driver, Y/N. We all have our off weeks, we're not perfect.''

''I understand that this isn't a nice situation to be in. Trust me, this green vegetable that I'm driving isn't doing much better at the moment,'' he chuckled, making her crack a smile, ''but if there's one person that can completely turn their season around, it's you.''

Y/N avoided eye-contact with him, not sure how to respond to his kind and encouraging words. ''I appreciate that, Seb. I'm not giving up, it's just… very difficult and people are constantly bringing it up, and making articles and shit- that doesn't help me at all. I'm still gonna do my best, but… yeah- it's just difficult.''

''I know it's hard and I've heard the media has been hard on you. That's what they do and they see you as an easier target for clicks and whatnot,'' Sebastian rolled his eyes at his own mention of the media, ''But you're better than believing their words.''

''You are a talented driver, you have so much potential. Do you think I would have spent all these years with you if I thought you shouldn't be in F1?'' He asked her, a look on his face that told her he wanted an answer.

The young woman timidly shook her head. ''No, you wouldn't have done that.''

Sebastian smiled at her response. ''See?'' He put his arm around her, pulling her closer into him. ''Whether you believe it or not, you're leading this new generation. You're a decent car away from being a World Champion, you know that right?''

''Did you talk to Lando? He also said that.'' Y/N nervously grinned.

''Just accept the truth!'' The German squeezed her shoulders. ''You've proven that you can do anything. You don't want to let down all those young girls that started karting because of you, right? What message would it send to all of them that their role model quit, because she got bumped off the road or her car simply decided to turn itself off.''

''You're right,'' she sighed, admitting to herself she needed to drop the pessimistic attitude, ''I don't just owe it to myself, but also to them.''

Sebastian nodded along to her words, letting out a deep breath. ''I'm relieved you're seeing it, I don't like seeing you like this. It's weird not seeing you smile or making fun of the drivers.'' He smirked, patting her shoulder.

''I guess everyone deserved an off-day, tomorrow I'll start again.'' Y/N grinned, laughing at Sebastian's reminder of her fondness to poke fun at their colleagues.

The senior driver gave her one last squeeze and stood up from the couch, adjusting his pants. ''No more frowns, alright? You're gonna do great this weekend and you're gonna show everyone why you deserve your seat.''

Y/N nodded, more confident than when she first walked back into her driver's room. ''Yes, I'm gonna do my best, Seb.''

They bumped their fists as if to solidify it was going to be a great race weekend for them both.

''And go easy on me tomorrow with the teasing.''

''I'd rather be run off the track again then let that happen.''

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#f1 fic #f1 fics #f1 x reader #lando norris x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #sebastian vettel x reader #f1 x you #f1 oc #lando norris x you #daniel ricciardo x you #sebastian vettel x you #formula 1 fic #female f1 driver

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 7 months

Text

With Discretion - Part 3 ^**

Sorry for the delay friends! I had a night lol But here is part 3! I'm panning on doing a little holiday check-in for this pair so it's supposed to end a little abruptly. More to come over the christmas/ny season!

Read the other parts here

Warnings: infidelity, mentions of insecurities, sexism, divorce. Oral (m receiving), face fuck, sex (unprotected p in v)

WC: 17.5K

It was nearly 6:30am when you were awakened by some knocks on the door. You groaned and yawned before trudging out of the comfort of the large king bed that you had melted into for the night. When you opened it up, eyes slightly squinting a bit through the blurriness of your vision you saw Harry holding two large mugs and wearing an amused smile on his face.

“God, I knew you woke up pretty.” He said softly and you sniggered as you opened the door to let him in.

“Oh, sure thing.” you replied groggily with a giggle as he stepped inside.

“Good morning, by the way. I ummm, just wanted to come by and see the sunrise with you. I can leave if you’re still in need of some more sleep, but I was trying to hint at it yesterday when I mentioned it and-”

“I did get the hint. You beat my alarm by 3 minutes actually!” You smiled, “I just wasn’t sure if ummm…you’d be joining me or not, but I’m glad you’re here.” You assured him. “M’just gonna brush my teeth and ummm, grab a sweater or something.”

“Yeah, it’s a bit cold out.” He said and then just made his way outside to the balcony and while you went into the bathroom to freshen up a bit. As soon as you were more awake and cozy you headed out to join him on the balcony. “I tried the new milk steamer they have in the kitchen and made cappuccinos, I think.” He said as he handed you one of the mugs and you smiled, “Didn’t sweeten it or anything though.” He warned as you looked down into it.

“S’alright. Good coffee doesn’t need sweeteners.” You said with a smile.

“Well I hope it’s good then.” He joked and you both laughed softly before turning to the horizon that was turning a lighter shade of blue now, a very light hint of orange starting to emerge from the darkness. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you. I need that bed though, it’s phenomenal.” You hummed and he smiled.

“It really is. I’m glad you were comfortable.”

“And what about you?” You asked him.

“Good too. Had a dream…a nightmare actually about some thief breaking into my home and stealing all my tiramisu!” You immediately burst into laughter, “Don’t know what could’ve brought that on but… that’s what I dreamt of.” he said with a grin.

“Yeah, I wonder…” you joked with a playful roll of your eyes and a gentle nudge of your elbow into his side. You let your laughter subside and the sound of the waves on the shore took over, bringing a peaceful silence over you for a few minutes. The sky was clearing up more and more by the minute, showing off its splendor without any hesitation.

“Are you nervous about going home?” Harry asked you and you set your cappuccino down on the thick rail of the balcony.

“A little bit.” You admitted, “Wish I could just fast forward to the end of it all.” You sighed and he extended his left arm over your shoulders and pulled you into his side.

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.” You sighed and looked at the sun starting to peek up over the horizon, “You were right, this is gorgeous.” You hummed.

“Yeah, it’s really something.” He smiled as he leaned his head against yours. “You know, I could give Cal a raise so he has to pay you more in alimony.” He mused and your body started shaking with laughter before it inevitably squawked out of you. Your head was thrown back as he laughed along with you, really happy that this is how you reacted to his little joke.

“Ah, that’s funny…” you hummed when your laughter died down.

“I’m like 25% serious.” He added and you shook your head.

“You’re silly.” You smiled before sipping at your cappuccino.

“Just a little bit.” He grinned. “What’s the first thing you’re gonna do after you settle the divorce?” He asked and you hummed pensively.

“Take my Italian vacation…” you hummed, “I’ve been begging Cal to take me on a romantic getaway to Italy for years! Like a month-long thing though. I want to get to know the entire country.” You smiled. “But I think I can take myself on a romantic getaway.” You said and he hummed.

“That sounds like a wonderful time. Italy is probably my favorite country.” He hummed. “Does your entire trip have to be…by yourself? Or can you afford a little extra baggage for a few days?” He asked and you twirled around and smiled up at him.

“A few days, huh?” You asked and he nodded with a coy smile, “Mmm…perhaps that’s arlright.” You smiled.

“Ok… and well for the rest of your trip, I know a lot of really excellent spots, have a lot of friends in Italy. Chefs, architects, artists…could fix you up with them when you’re in their region? See the best parts of each place.” He offered.

“Ummm, yeah! That sounds phenomenal. It’ll take me a bit to plan, but I’m definitely interested in that.” You assured him.

“Alright. When you have a date let me know.” He said and you nodded. You just stayed looking at each other and your heart fluttered when his dimple started carving deeper into his cheek.

“What?” You asked and he shrugged.

“Just…excited for you, I guess. Like, you’re going to be just fine. I really love that for you.” He said and you felt your cheeks warming with a blush.

“Thank you, I think I will be fine too.” You agreed.

“OK, the good part is starting!” He said and twirled you back around and you both set down your mugs. You smiled at the now purple and orange ranges of colors that were painted across the sky as the blazing sun started showing more of its brilliant face. Your smile widened with each passing second as more of it started to emerge seemingly from nowhere at all. It was breathtaking to say the least.

You couldn’t help but feel that this was the perfect thing to witness as the sun rose on a new journey in your own life. It was kind of poetic. It made you smile as you leaned a bit more weight back on Harry and he held you a bit closer. The moment was solemn as you both kept the quiet between you and just let yourselves feel the awe of the moment.

Harry was in his head as much as you were though. He was thinking about where things would go with you from here. He supposed you’d want some time to just reacquaint yourself with yourself. He figured that you would probably move out, but would you stay in New York or head off somewhere else? Would you go back to work and give up your business? Would you even be interested in a romantic anything with anyone for a while? Because he wanted that with you…or to at least try. He had huge crush on you and the more time he spent with you the bigger it got. Obviously, he didn’t know nearly enough about you, but he was interested in getting to know you deeply. He was quite enamored with you just from what he’d already seen and experienced for himself.

“What’s your favorite color?” You suddenly asked and he smiled.

“Green.”

“Like your eyes?” You asked and he chuckled.

“No. Like…a jade color.”

“So basically your eye color.” You sniggered, teasing him.

“Yeah, I guess so then.” He sighed in defeat, “Just makes me feel calm. And you?”

“Right now…mmm, like an orange color. Like…oh, well just like that I guess.” You said as you pointed to the little sliver of sky right above the rising sun. “It just makes me feel warm and fuzzy…I don’t know.” You said.

“Yeah, I can see why.”

“It just looks so…happy.” You shrugged with a smile, “I can’t wait to just…feel it for myself again, you know? Like from the inside.”

“You will.” He assured, “I promise you will.” He said with certainty and you turned around, your eyes met his. You reached for his face and he wrapped his arms around your waist and you kissed him deeply. You melted against his warmth, loving the feeling of your lips meeting together passionately. You hadn’t felt this riled up in years. You could jump out of a plane with how invincible you currently felt. As you pulled apart and your eyes blinked open they met with his. Harry’s lips twitched up in a grin and you just nuzzled down into his neck timidly.

“I really like you.” You confessed and he just squeezed you a bit tighter.

“I really like you too.” He hummed with a smile as he stared at the sunrise.

After that lovely moment between the two of you, you went your separate ways and it was back down to reality. You had just been watching TV, waiting for Caleb to wake up when your phone rang and you saw it was a call from him.

“Hello?”

“Did you leave?” He asked tiredly.

“No. M’upstairs, had Gerard give me another room.” You explained.

“Alright. Well ummm, I’m just gonna have a shower real quick and we can stop somewhere for breakfast, yeah?”

“I’d rather not. Just want to get home and have that talk.” You said to him.

“Sweetheart, I’m so fucking hungover.”

“Cal, you need to stop stalling.” You sighed.

“We can even start the conversation in the car! I just feel horrible right now and need to get something in my system.” He groaned.

Not even twenty minutes later you were sitting across from each other in the booth of a little diner off the first exit of the highway. You had already had your coffee, so you were just getting through some French toast while Cal nursed his second cup of coffee while he forcibly nibbled on some toast and bacon. You were looking at him expectantly and it appeared like he wanted to speak but the words were stuck somehow. You sighed in disappointment and surrendered, just glancing down to your food instead of him. You had just finished cutting off another piece of your French toast, just about ready to guide it into your mouth when he spoke up.

“I want a divorce.” Caleb’s words were low, but clear. Coward. He couldn’t do it while you were looking at him.

“Good. I do too.” You said cooly and he let out a quick, dry laugh. His response made you look up at him. “What?” You asked.

“That there is one of the things I…hate about you.” He said with a smile. His eyes weren’t full of contempt or spite, they were more amused than anything, it confused you for a second, “I used to love it though. S’one of the things I loved the most about you.” He said with a smile, “The way you’re so collected…so unaffected by everything.” He said and when you realized he wasn’t being a dick you smiled. “You’ve always been too good for me. I knew that.” He said with a hint of defeat in his voice.

“I met Dani. She threw up.” You said and he frowned upon hearing this.

“What’d you say to her to make her react that badly?” He questioned as he glanced down into his mug.

“Nothing. She just…felt so guilty I think? I actually pulled her to a trashcan before she puked all over herself.” You informed and he hummed.

“Well, it’s big of you to be nice to her.”

“Why? She didn’t do anything to me?” You pointed out and he smiled and nodded.

“Right.” He sighed before licking over his lips nervously. “It’s different with her.” He said and you now glanced down at your food again. “She’s just as brilliant, but in a more…reserved way.” He said and you chuckled.

“In a way that’s less intimidating, you mean?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” He said.

“Since when have I felt that way to you?” You questioned.

“I don’t know…I suppose I’ve always felt that way to some extent but over the last couple years it’s been…too much.” He explained.

“Is it something I’ve done?” You asked. Wanting to know if there were things that you did to make him feel less than. Because if there were, you definitely wanted to clear the air with him about those things.

“No. No. You’ve always been lovely.” He assured you. “It is an issue with me, 100%.”

“OK.” You said quietly.

You still had so many questions for him, but were soon back on the road and you’d occasionally type them into your notes app as the questions arose. When you got home the tensions seemed to rise between you two. It was a nervous type of tension versus one of anger. You were very past the point of being angry at Cal for his cheating. You were still a bit irritated for the whole dinner thing, if you gave it some thought but your time with Harry had made the shit show worth it, so you were no longer dwelling on it.

“Should we get a couple drinks?” He asked you nodded and followed him to the bar area in your home. You hoisted yourself up onto one of the stools as he headed behind the bar. He just served you both a scotch on the rocks despite it only being about 11am. “Well, it’s five o’clock somewhere.” He said as he handed over your drink and you just knocked it back quickly while he savored his.

“So Dani…how did that happen?” You asked him as he set his tumbler down.

“Just working together. She’s really good at stats, so I would always check my work with her. I felt like maybe I bugged her a lot, so I just started being a bit more friendly to not…annoy her as much, but I soon realized that I liked her vibe. It started out really platonic, like just work stuff, then we started getting lunch together every now and then, then afternoon coffees and ummm….yeah. It just happened over time.” He explained.

“How long?”

“We were together for a year.” He explained and you nodded.

“And before then? Have you…been with other people?” You asked and he sighed.

“Yes.” He confirmed and you swallowed thickly.

“The whole time?” You asked, not being able to look at him.

“Yes.” He confirmed shamefully and that’s when the tears started to form.

“Jesus…” you whispered.

“I just don’t think I was ready to get married when we did.” He said and you took a deep breath before scoffing.

“It was your idea to get married, Cal!” You said with frustration and he sighed.

“I know…I just…thought that that’s what you wanted. Like when we talked about it, it just seemed like you were excited for it and I just thought that…if I didn’t show you that I was serious about you that you’d…leave me. That’s why I proposed to you.”

“I mean who isn’t excited at the prospect of getting married but…did you want to marry me?” You asked him.

“I was sure I would want to down the line…like I didn’t do it just like that. I mean, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t think I would get there. I mean…I’ve always had a wandering eye…I just thought it would…change.”

“Well if you’ve never tried to work on that before it just wouldn’t suddenly go away, you know?” You said and he shrugged.

“Well, s’too late for that now.” He said.

“Yeah…” you whispered as you wiped a stray tear from under your eye, “So now you’re in love with Dani?”

“Yeah and she wants absolutely nothing to do with me so…” he said with disappointment.

“How did she find out?” You asked.

“I have a note on my phone about how to bring this up to you and she saw it. I had to explain it to her and she just blew up on me.” You looked at him like he was an idiot.

“I think anything less than that would’ve been a bad reaction, Cal. If she loves you too and just discovered that your whole relationship is actually an affair of course she lost her mind! She probably feels awful!” You scoffed.

“Well, I told her that I’m in love with her and that I wanted to be with her though. Like, I wanted to end things with you for her and like…I guess I hoped she’d come around with that information, but it’s been months and she will barely even look at me. ”

“Can you blame her?” You questioned and he sighed.

“Guess not. I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me but…either way, I think that our marriage has run its course.”

“I think so too.” You agreed and he sighed. “I ummm…knew you were cheating since the beginning of the year.” You confessed and his eyes met yours. “You accidentally made a reservation from our shared account while I was on there looking at a reimbursement from a client. I showed up to your office before the time of the reservation, thinking it was like a work thing, best case scenario.” You explained, “Obviously, you weren’t there… but then I started noticing other things and inconsistencies when you’d talk to me about supposed work trips…and I just…didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“It wasn’t your responsibility to.” He said and well, that much was true, “Honestly, I haven’t been happy with you for a long time, Y/N. I should’ve said something about it when my feeling started to change. I’m really sorry, you didn’t deserve this.” He apologized sincerely.

“Thank you.” You said and he nodded.

“So ummm, I think we need to meet with Shawn to draw up some divorce papers.”

“Yeah…I’ll call him tomorrow morning, see if he has some time this week.”

“Perfect. Ummm, I think I should probably go stay somewhere else.”

“Yeah, if you want to.” You said to him and he nodded.

“I actually ummm, already have another place in the city. It’ll be easier with work and all.”

“Oh! Ummm, yeah that’s alright then.”

“It’s with my money by the way. I haven’t used anything we’ve put together for that. Or for Dani. Or any woman for that matter.” He said, as if that would somehow make all of it better.

“Alright, well thanks.” You chuckled and he shook his head.

“Again, I’m really sorry for all of this, Y/N.” Cal said and you smiled sadly.

“Yeah, me too.” You whispered.

“OK, I’m going to pack a bag. Just let me know what Shawn says.”

“Will do.” You said before he chugged down the rest of his drink and then left quietly.

You still had so many questions, but you didn’t know that they were even worth asking anymore. The more Caleb had spoken the worse things had gotten for you. You sniffled a bit, but just held in all of your tears because he really wasn’t worth it. You slid off of the counter and washed the tumblers before setting them on the rack beside the small sink to drip dry. You then reached for your phone and texted Cecilia to see if she was available for dinner. Thankfully she was and you just avoided Caleb by doing miscellaneous tasks around the house until he was gone with a large suitcase and duffle bag.

You got showered and then ordered in a fat pizza so that you and Cecilia could binge out a bit while you shared what had happened. She knew that you suspected Cal of cheating and that there was plenty of evidence against him, but wait until she heard all of this…and well, Cece’s responses never disappointed.

“That dog!” She gasped when you finished telling her about how he said he’d always been sleeping with other people. Now you were in tears because you were grieving your life…your time…your youth! You were so young when you got married to Caleb but you were in love with him then, so you thought it wasn’t a bad idea. But you wish you’d been less naive, you wished you’d listened to your family and your friends who were concerned about this decision. For the first time in your life you felt like you were stupid…over a man’s mistakes! It infuriated you that you felt like that. Why should you feel bad or regretful over things you’d done out of love? It made no sense, but here you were, actually feeling regret for marrying Caleb.

“Do not bring sweet, innocent dogs into this.” You hiccuped before setting your wine glass down. God, you’d be in the shit tomorrow with the hangover you knew you’d have. You had a bunch of meetings with some potential vendors the next day since the lady you used for all your tents and table rentals was moving out of state and taking her business with her. Plus you now had to contact your lawyer to tell him about the divorce. It was just going to be a bad day tomorrow.

“You’re right.” Cece said with a pout, just as drunk as you were, “What a scum bag.” She finished and you sighed.

“Do you remember Harry?” You asked randomly and she turned to you with a furrow in her brow.

“Harry from the club?” She asked and you nodded as you sniffled.

“That’s his boss.” You said and then bit your lip, “We…fucked…well he did all of the fucking…” you confessed and she turned to you, jaw on the ground.

“You did not!”

“I did.”

“That night?”

“Yeah.” You confessed. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him this entire time. Like he was so fucking wonderful! And ummm, last night too while Cal was off somewhere, drunk off his ass. Harry railed me in the kitchen until my legs were as weak as overcooked noodles and then he licked tiramisu off my tits and I have a huge crush on him!” You blurted out and Cece started screaming and laughing. You both looked insane, all snotty with swollen eyes from crying together and now screaming and giggling like school girls over the most fantastic lay of your life.

“Oh my god! He’s so hot…even licked tiramisu off your tits…that sounds like a dream…” she hummed in approval.

“It really is.” You said quietly. “I mean, he’s always so nice to me. That first time, at the hotel, he told me if I was his he’d never take me for granted like Cal does.” You said more solemnly.

“Sounds like he likes you too.”

“Oh, he does…Even suggested that we just be friends til everything gets sorted out with Cal, which is so sweet of him.”

“He sounds fake.”

“Right!?” You exclaimed, “Like way too good to be true.”

“If he’s so perfect why isn’t he with someone?”

“He did mention before that he hadn’t met someone who he really wanted to settle down with, so he’d just been seeing people very casually.”

“Awww…what if you’re the one he wants that with?” She cooed in her drunkenness and despite the butterflies in your tummy at the mere idea of getting to date Harry, you tutted.

“I don’t think we know each other that well.” You reasoned, “As long as he’s not all fragile like Cal I think there’s a chance. I mean, I toughened up because Cal said I was too soft to be an entrepreneur! I honed in on those traits and skills. I stepped into my power, not just as a business owner, but as a woman! And now he tells me I’m too abrasive and intimidating? Like…what if Harry likes those qualities in me now, but like Cal, he’ll soon discover that he wants someone who’s of an easier disposition as a partner?”

“You mean a pushover?”

“I don’t think women who aren’t outspoken are pushovers…” you clarified, “But like, some of us are just a bit more outspoken, you know? I don’t think I’m tactless or rude about it, and certainly not emasculating-”

“Men emasculate themselves. If Caleb has never felt that he’s been good enough for you then at one point or another all of this would’ve ended anyway. The problem in this marriage was him, babe. Get it through your head! Don’t let him make you feel like being who you are and stepping into your power were the problems. Like you said, he wanted that for you and now that he feels less than he thinks it’s bad? Sexist. Sexist. Sexist!” Cece said with harsh claps for added emphasis and you smiled.

“You’re right.” You ceded.

“Of course I am!” Cece guffawed and you sighed. “Do you think Harry will fire him?” She asked.

“Harry’s not petty like that, I don’t see why he would. I mean, Cal’s good at his job and like, as much as Harry and I are friendly, my personal problems with Caleb have nothing to do with their work, you know?”

“I guess you’re right. Though, I do think it’d be more satisfying for everyone involved if Cal stays working there and has to see you with his boss.” Cece said and you laughed.

“I wouldn’t want to rub his face in it…”

“Oh please, what do you think he did to you last night at that dinner, babe? Intentional or not, he set you up! Genuinely, how did he think people would react to the news of him being married out of nowhere?” She questioned, “You need to stop taking the high road and just hit below the belt, just once! It feels so good, I swear it does!” Cece pleaded with you.

“Yeah, we’ll see…” you hummed with a smile. “Like I don’t want to make him feel bad on purpose, you know?”

“Fuck that! He deserves it and you deserve to see Karma doing her best work to restore balance to the universe.” She said simply and you giggled. Count on Cece to always want to see justice served, it’s not that you didn’t, but you just didn’t like forcing Karma’s hand. You knew it would all happen in it’s due time and you could wait.

… ONE MONTH LATER …

You were doing really well on your own. You’d started putting more effort into your business, which saw it growing. You’d started taking better care of yourself, and much to Cece’s dismay, channeled your rage into a new hobby - gardening. Which as peaceful as it was meant to be, was actually full of rage because you absolutely hated it. You hated dirt, you hated how needy plants were…but were trying to learn to love it. She’d scolded you many times over the fact that you weren’t just plowing Harry every chance you got. But like you had explained to her and him before, you just needed to figure things out for yourself before you involved anyone new in your new life. You had spoken to him on the phone a few weeks back for an hour, just catching up and checking in on each other, but apart from that he was giving you space which you desperately needed.

Maybe you didn’t love Caleb anymore, but you were still grieving everything that could’ve been. No one who gets married out of love goes in thinking that it’s going to end in divorce. Sure, it’s always a possibility, but every person went into it hoping that they would beat the odds, not become a statistic, yet here you were. Thankfully though, the divorce proceedings were going swimmingly thanks to the prenup, which you had insisted on if only to prove to Caleb all those years ago that you were in it for love and not his money. Cal had always been very generous though and helped with a lot of your debts from school and other big expenses from when you were younger and struggling. But thanks to that, you were both leaving the marriage without many losses. Though Cal’s generosity was once again proven when he assured you that he’d take care of the legal fees since he’d been the one who’d ended the marriage long before you guys took a step towards divorce.

You were still trying to find a place of your own to live. Cal had charged you with overseeing any renovations on the house that would make it more marketable so at least for the time being you weren’t being rushed out of the house. But you were debating on whether you should stay in the suburbs or head into the city. However, the more you looked into it the more you were convinced that New York City was not a place you wanted to live. Sure, it was gorgeous, but it was a bit gross, prone to flooding, infested with tons of critters, and those were just a few deal breakers among other inconveniences. And finding a place that had minimal exposure to all of these things would cost you an arm and a leg. Also, your clientele was largely in the suburb areas, so you were staying put for now until you found something else.

You’d already done a lot of renovating to the home when you purchased it, so there wasn’t too much apart from some flooring changes to the staircase and renovating the half bath and it’s connected outdoor shower that was used for your luxurious saltwater pool. You had just shown out the flooring guy when your work phone started ringing and you glanced down to see a number you didn’t recognize and let it go to voicemail as you weren’t really able to take any new clients right now. It was a bit later in the day when you realized that this caller had left a voicemail. So you put it on speaker as you opened up your fridge to grab a snack when you heard a shaky exhale through the speaker.

“Ummm, hi Y/N. This Is Daniela, I got your number from Tamika. I hope you don’t mind.” She spoke nervously, “Uh, I was wondering if you were available for a talk over lunch, o-or dinner or just some drinks sometime this week? I just wanted to talk about ummm…Caleb.” She said, “This is my cell, so feel free to call me or text me. Ummm, yeah, bye.”

You bit your lip as you thought about it for a moment. As much as you didn’t want to get involved in the throws of their affair, you at least wanted to clear the air with her and assure her that you didn’t blame her for the demise of your marriage. You had your divorce hearing in a month and you didn’t want to start making Cal think you were ganging up on him with his mistress, so you wanted to tread lightly. You decided to consult with your trusty best friend before calling Dani back.

“Hey girl!” Cece greeted cheerfully and you instantly smiled.

“Hey! How’s your day?” You asked and she hummed.

“It’s been…interesting.” She said, “But I have a feeling it’s about to get better.” She sang and you chuckled.

“I’m just calling for your input, nothing to do with Harry-”

“A damn shame.” She interjected and you sniggered.

“Dani called me. She wants to meet up with me.” You said and Cece perked up.

“Ooh…”

“I don’t know if I should go though.”

“OK, why not?” She asked.

“I just don’t want Caleb to think I’m plotting against him. Like, we’re just so close to finalizing the divorce and going our own ways. I don’t want to stir up any trouble.” You explained.

“Then just tell him you’re gonna talk to her. You don’t have to keep it a secret.” Cece said and you groaned.

“I know! But I know he’s going to say no and give me shit about it-”

“Well too fucking bad! At least you’re giving him a warning!” She said and you giggled.

“Right…I might also be nervous because…I’m thinking of perhaps asking to see Harry after.” You confessed and Cece’s excited shriek made you giggle, “Not for sex.” You said.

“Boo…” she grumbled and you rolled your eyes.

“I just…miss him a bit. He’s been so understanding, but like…I forget about the stress when he’s around. He makes me feel…really good.” You said and Cece cooed.

“Awww babe, I really think you should talk to Dani and then get any sympathy you have for Cal fucked out of you so good you don’t have problems for the next few years.” She said and you laughed loudly.

“God, Cecelia…” you scoffed.

“It’s what you deserve.” She said simply and you smiled.

“You know, I should just call you when I need to hear what I want to hear.” You mused and she cackled.

“What’re best friends for?” She asked and you smiled. After agreeing to meet up over the weekend for brunch at yours, you decided to call Dani back. You agreed to meet for lunch on Friday, which was good, hopefully you could arrive a bit early and surprise Harry. Your eyebrows furrowed when you heard the front door open and walked over to the entrance of the home to see Caleb walking through the door.

“Hey!” You greeted him with a smile as you approached him and he smiled as well as he swung the door shut and walked up to you and quickly kissed your cheek.

“Hey, you look great!” He complimented you, “How’s it been?” he asked as he pulled back.

“Good. The flooring guy just left a bit ago, he’s gonna remove the carpet from the stairs. And then the contractor is coming tomorrow to see about the pool shower/bathroom.”

“Perfect.” He smiled.

“Yeah. And what brings you here?” You asked.

“I have a business trip to San Diego.” He said as he made his way up the stairs, “It’s legit.” He added as he glanced back at you, wearing a smirk and you rolled your eyes.

“And you had to come here for?” You questioned, as you made your way into your previously shared bedroom that was now just yours.

“I need t’pack my lighter clothes. S’still summertime in California! Or have you been gone so long you already forgot?” He asked as he walked into your closet and you plopped down onto the bed. “Can you grab my suitcase from the trunk of the car? I forgot it!”

“Yeah!” You called out and headed downstairs and grabbed his empty luggage from the car. Soon you were placing it on the bed and he was coming out with a few shirts. He seemed in a chipper mood, so you were going to bring up the Dani thing while he was.

“Should I take the yellow one?” He asked of the light yellow shirt he brought out.

“No, it kinda washes you out. Also you’ll look like Dwight Schrute.” You said and he chuckled.

“You’re right.” He said and set it aside and grabbed another instead.

“It’s good you’re here though, I was actually going to call you about something later.”

“What was it?” He asked as he inspected another shirt.

“Ummm…Dani called me.” You said and he glanced up at you. You saw the glint of hope in his eyes.

“What did she want?”

“Just to talk. We’re gonna have lunch on Friday.” You said and he sighed, “And I don’t intend to…shit talk you to her or anything. I think she’s just…feeling a bit lonely. Probably wants to make sure I don’t hate her or something.” You said and he nodded.

“Yeah, I think she needs that.” He said and you hummed.

“How’ve you been doing?”

“I mean, way better at work now that I have nothing else to do.” He said with a small smile, “Just getting by, I guess… waiting every day hoping that she’ll talk to me…let me explain…anything really.” He said a bit sadly as he proceeded to fold up some trousers, “I didn’t know I could feel so strongly about a person. I mean, I thought that with you that was as much love as I could feel. We just connected so well you know?”

“Oh I was there…” you recalled with a smile and he did as well.

“I felt challenged. Like that sounds…bad, but you were something to work towards, you know? You kept me on the edge of my seat. So good that you made me want to be better. To be more…hence the whole CFO thing. I felt like I needed to aim higher.” He explained.

“But with her?”

“With her I felt like…enough for the first time in a really long time. And I can’t discredit any of our marriage, because you’ve pushed me to achieve a lot of the things I wanted to achieve. But I don’t know, it just kind of felt like…”

“Like we never quite found the sweet spot?” You asked and he nodded.

“Yeah. It’s like happiness was always just out of reach. Like I could see it, but I couldn’t get there.” He explained, “Was it like that for you?” He asked and you shrugged.

“I guess so, but I didn’t know it until you said it just now.” You explained as you extended your hand asking him to hand you some of his undershirts to fold and pack up. He did so easily, “I mean, as you know, my parents are still married. But they’ve never been all that affectionate with each other so I didn’t think there was anything wrong with how we were you know? Like that was the picture I had growing up, always striving for more, and well, they’ve made it this far.” You said and he hummed.

“Right… my parents are like that too. Do you think they settled?”

“Well historically, men settle for partners more than women.” You explained and his eyebrows arched upon hearing that, “It’s called settling for Ms. Good-Enough. So men are more likely to settle for a partner who meets most of their expectations rather than the person they really want out of fear of missing the train, or whatever people call it.” You said, “At the end of the day I guess we’re all scared of being alone.” You said as you dropped a neat stack of his undershirts in his luggage.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He hummed, “Do you think Dani will ever forgive me?”

“Yeah, I’m sure she will but I don’t think that necessarily means she’ll give you another chance.” You said to him and he frowned, “I mean, you have to understand just how humiliating this is for her. You let her fall in love with you and made her think that she was your one and only, only for her to discover that she was actually your side chick! I mean, that doesn’t mean your feelings weren’t real, but it’s…shitty to find out you’re the other woman. It’s happened to me before in college and it sucks. Moreso when I got bitch slapped for “seducing a taken man” when I had no idea he was taken! I think that’s why I’m nice to her because it’s not her fault and I shouldn’t take out my frustration on her. Like it sucks to be in that position. You wonder if there’s any world in which you would’ve been the first choice. Or if you were the first choice, would that person still go off and find someone else? And it feels like…you just can’t win. Either way you feel horrible about yourself and it doesn’t matter how much love exists, you still feel stupid and foolish for falling for something like that. I know that you love her, Cal, but you really hurt her and you need to respect how she navigates this.”

“Can you at least tell her to talk to me? I just want to properly apologize to her. Not some rushed interaction like we’ve had. I won’t try and change her mind I just need her to know that she…means everything to me and that I fucked up. I need her to know that.”

“Cal, I don’t want to mettle. I don’t want to be her friend, I just need her to know that I don’t blame her.” You said and he nodded in understanding.

“Do you hate me?” He asked after a beat of silence.

“No, Cal. I just wish…I knew about all of this early on so that we could try to…not make such a big mess.” You said and he smiled.

“Yeah. Next time.” He said and you smiled. “What about you? Anyone new on your radar?” He asked and you considered talking to him about Harry for a moment, but quickly decided against it, you could keep this to yourself until you actually figured it out.

“No, just been focusing on me and the business. Hanging out with Cece a bit much…been drinking way too much on the weekends.” You said and he chuckled.

“Cece is fun.” He said and you nodded, “I’m surprised she hasn’t hooked you up with the eligible bachelors of New York.” He chuckled.

“Oh believe me, she has tried!” You laughed as you reached over and grabbed another pair of slacks he had brought out.

“Of course. She acts fast.” He said and you nodded. “Well I am always rooting for you. I hope you know that.”

“I am rooting for you too.” You assured him, “So long as you’re being good.” You said and he grinned.

“Yeah, lesson learned.” He stated with a smile, “My flight doesn’t leave until 9:30pm. Want to have some dinner and drop me off?” He asked and you side eyed him.

“Only if I can drive the Quattroporte.” You said and he grinned.

“Fine.” He agreed, much to your surprise. But he was lonely and just needed to be around someone. You felt bad for him, but there really wasn’t much you could do about that.

Cal’s flight was leaving from JFK so you drove a bit closer to get some dinner in that area. It was nice just chatting, talking about your plans after everything was finalized with your divorce. You took your time and were really enjoying how amicable things were between you two, and finally the time came to drop him off at the terminal.

“Thank you for being so gracious about everything, Y/N. I don’t deserve it after everything I’ve put you through. You’re…remarkable and I was right.” He said and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

“About?”

“You being too good for me.” He said and you smiled at him and shook your head.

“Have a good flight.”

“Thanks.” He said before getting out of the car. He grabbed his luggage and with one final wave he was heading inside and you were heading back home.

The next two days went by rather quickly and you were now nervously trying to pick something out to wear to lunch with Dani that would probably also make Harry swoon just a bit. You were planning on getting there a bit early to see if Harry had a few minutes and were manifesting that he was available. You ended up choosing to wear a nice fall outfit with some flared, tan corduroy pants, a thin black turtleneck long sleeve, and some pointed black, heeled boots. You grabbed your purse and hurried out and took off for the city. You had no idea why you felt nervous, but your stomach was in complete knots the entire drive.

Finally, you were inside and riding up the elevator to the administrative floor, fidgeting with the rings on your fingers. It was nearing lunch time so there were people hurrying about as you calmly made your way past reception, the other offices, and back to where his office was, according to the map you scanned when you walked off of the elevator. You saw Tamika straightening out a few things at a desk near Harry’s office and approached her.

“Hey Tamika!” You smiled at her and she glanced up at you.

“Hey Y/N! What a nice surprise to see you up here.” And then her smile faltered a bit, “Oh ummm, Dani told me she was meeting with you. I’m sorry about everything with Cal.” She said and you shook your head.

“It’s alright. I knew about it a while ago. At least we can end it amicably.” You said and she nodded.

“Yeah, as long as he’s not an asshole about it.” She said with you sniggered and nodded.

“No, he’s been very good about it.” You assured him, “Are you heading to lunch?”

“I’m actually, leaving for the day. I only have afternoon classes today.” She explained.

“Oh OK.” You said and she smiled.

“Cal’s away on business in San Diego but-”

“I actually wanted to talk to Mr. Styles-er Harry for minute. Is he in by any chance?”

“Yeah, he’s in there.” She smiled, “You can just go on in.” She assured you with a smile and you nodded.

“Thank you! I hope class goes well.”

“Thanks! Have a good weekend.” She said before grabbing her bag and waving as she headed off. You waved back before turning around and walking the few steps over to Harry’s office. You gave a few knocks before pushing open the heavy, partially frosted glass door and peeking in.

As soon as Harry detected some movement he glanced up from the documents in his hands and you saw his face light up at the sight of you.

“Oh my god, hi! What’re you doing here?” He questioned as he immediately pushed himself up from his seat as you headed towards him. You hummed happily as he hugged you and you hugged him back, letting your body fit against his so perfectly.

“Dani asked to meet me to talk over lunch.” You informed as you started to pull back, “Thought I’d drop in and see if I could stick around in the city afterwards. Maybe we can go to dinner?” You suggested and he sighed as his hands found yours and glanced down.

“Sorry, tonight’s no good. I have plans.” He said with a small pout.

“That’s alright, kinda dropped in unannounced didn’t I?” You shrugged.

“Just for transparency’s sake, it’s a date.” He shared, “It was a set up.” He sighed, “I don’t know why my friends meddle-”

“Because they care about you.” You said and he chuckled.

“They’re really bad match makers though.” He chuckled and you giggled.

“Well good thing it’s just a set up then.” You said and he grinned.

“Still get nervous though. Kinda seems unfair to agree to date people when you’re not interested in them.”

“Very true, but hey at least you’ll be nice about it.” You said and he smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, always.” He assured as his thumb ran over your knuckles gently. “What about tomorrow? Do you have plans?” He asked.

“Just brunch with Cece. Gonna get day drunk and lounge around in the pool.” You said with a grin and he smiled.

“That sounds great. Can I crash it? I hear you have a really nice pool.” He hummed and your smile widened.

“Yeah! I think Cece would love that more than I would.” you giggled and he chuckled.

“She was cool.” He hummed and you smiled.

“I’ll let her know you said that.” You said and he nodded.

“Yeah, please do. So ummm, should I bring something?”

“Ummm, we’re doing more breakfast-y food, so I think it’ll be best to make that at mine.”

“Settled. I’ll bring the champagne then.” He concluded with a smirk and you laughed happily and hugged him again. He seemed surprised, but was quick to hug you back.

“Oh, I’ve missed you.” You hummed without really thinking too much about it and he chuckled.

“I’ve missed you as well.” He said quietly, his large hands slid down to your waist and you pulled back. Your eyes met his and then fluttered down to his lips.

“I know we said just friends but-”

“That’s alright, I can make an exception.” He whispered as he leaned down and attached his lips to yours. You hummed happily and let your hands glide up his brawny chest before draping them over his shoulders, your bodies moved closer together, allowing your kiss to deepen. He gently nipped at your bottom lip which made you smile, “What?” He breathed out, his smile matching yours now.

“I just really like how you kiss.” You whispered and he smiled before leaning back in and you teased at his bottom lip with your tongue. He opened his mouth a bit more to let you in. You moaned against him when you finally got to taste his tongue. He sighed as his hands slid down to your bottom before squeezing and then giving a very quick little spank which made you gasp and pull back from the sloppy kiss you were sharing. “Mr. Styles!” You exclaimed with a shocked expression.

“Sorry, these pants are very nice.” He mumbled and you smirked.

“These I did wear for you.” You admitted.

“Well thank you, I love ‘em.”

“You’re welcome.” You giggled.

“Maybe I can get in them sometime.” He hummed with a smug look, “Like just to try ‘em on, they’re nice.” He clarified, but the mischievous glint in his eyes confirmed his double entendre and you chuckled. “So what time tomorrow?”

“Noon-ish? I’ll text you my address.” You said.

“Perfect. Can’t wait.” He hummed before dipping down again and kissing you once more. Just as things were getting steamy your cellphone started ringing. You two broke away from the kiss with a wet sound and you sighed as you pulled your purse between the two of you. You saw it was Dani calling and you answered. You glanced up at Harry as you brought the phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi Y/N, I’m just wrapping up. Should I meet you in the lobby?”

“Yeah, that’s good. See you there.” You said and then hung up.

“Time to go?”

“Yeah.”

“You nervous?” He asked, hands sliding into your back pockets and you giggled as he did this. He then started pushing you closer to him again.

“A little bit. Obviously she wants to talk about Caleb, but I just don’t know what about. M’not at all gossipy, so I hope it’s not just to talk shit.” You chuckled.

“A little shit talking might take place.”

“Well, yeah she can vent if she needs to. But Cal and I have been able to be very amicable and I don’t want to do anything that ruins that vibe. I did tell him I was meeting her and he said it was fine.” You share.

“Well I don’t know Dani all that well but from what Tamika tells me she’s really sweet. And so are you, so I’m sure it’ll be fine.” He assured you.

“Right.” You exhaled and he chuckled.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. And do me a favor, bomb the date, yeah?” You joked and he knocked his head back in laughter.

“I promise you I’ll do my very worst.” He assured you and you chuckled before tiptoeing and kissing his cheek before he slipped his hands out of your back pockets and let you go. “See you tomorrow.”

“See ya’!” You sang before hurrying out of his office and back to the elevator.

Once in the lobby you quickly found Dani and shook her hand as she officially introduced herself. The place she had in mind for lunch was a little cafe around the corner. So as you walked over you made some small talk. Soon enough you were seated and reading over the menus provided. You were a bit anxious to know what it was that she wanted to talk to you about and as she kept hopping from topic to topic about food and drinks and dessert you started to get a bit impatient.

“Good afternoon, what can I get you guys?” The waiter suddenly came up and you glanced up at him and ordered your food and drink first and then Dani went ahead and ordered. After he left, assuring you the food would be out soon you glanced up at her and she smiled a bit nervously.

“So what did you want to talk about?” You asked her and she sighed.

“I just wanted to clarify that I didn’t know about you at all when I agreed to be with Caleb. I feel really guilty about it though and I don’t know how to make it stop.” She confessed.

“Well I can assure you, I have no beef with you. I don’t blame you at all for his behavior or for his choices.”

“So you’re not getting divorced because of me?” She asked and you shook your head.

“Not you personally. I mean, Cal is in love with you and that made him realize that we needed to divorce. And for me learning about his relationship with you definitely was a factor in why I wanted. divorce, but there are other factors to it as well. I mean, why wouldn't I divorce someone who doesn't love me?” you explained and she bit her lip.

“Has he cheated on you before?” She asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, for years apparently.” You sighed.

“Oh…” she said with a small frown.

“I only found out about his cheating at the start of the year. So when he was with you already. He hasn’t been with anyone else other than you lately though, if that’s of any consolation.”

“To some extent it is…I mean, he keeps trying to talk to me and apologize and explain himself, but I don’t think there’s a justifiable explanation for any of this.” Dani said and you nodded.

“Yeah, I agree.”

“I love him. I love him so much, the last few months have been torture, but I’d be a fool to trust him after what he did to me. And now hearing about how this is just something he does…like it doesn’t just stop because you love someone, you know?”

“That’s precisely what I told him the other day. He’s made a habit of his infidelity and there’s no way that’s going to change unless he really works hard at breaking that habit.”

“Right…and I mean, I’d have to be an idiot to forgive him and get back with him.” She sighed.

“Not necessarily. I mean, if you trust him and you work together to make sure you’re on the same page and that you expect the same things out of the relationship it could work. I mean, it’s all based on trust and if you trust that he won’t screw up again, then great! But if you don’t trust him there’s no sense in putting yourself through something like that. You’ll just be full of doubt and miserable and no one deserves to constantly be living on edge like that, you know?”

“Yeah…you’re right.” Dani exhaled in surrender and you frowned a bit.

“Dani, Caleb does love you though. And he is sorry for lying like this. He asked me to tell you that.” You explained.

“I know. But I mean this was maybe my first real adult relationship and like…to discover that I was just the side chick!?” She exclaimed and your frown deepened.

“I’m really sorry, Dani. You didn’t deserve that.”

“I know! It’s why I can’t…I can’t trust him or give him another chance without feeling like a fool for it.”

“Well, seems to me you know which direction you’re leaning towards.”

“I do. It’s just…kind of hard to hold my ground on it.” She explained.

“I mean, you can always change your mind down the line. And well, something tells me Cal will be waiting as long as you need even if it is just to tell him that it’s done for good.” You said to her.

“I just don’t want to waste his time-”

“Girl, he’s wasted both of our times! He’ll be fine.” You emphasized and she chuckled.

“Very true.” She shrugged.

“And look, the last thing you want to do is waste your own valuable time! I’ve been with Cal since I was 23. We got married when I was only 24 and he just told me that he got married to me because he was scared I would leave him if he didn’t commit big right away. All those years are time neither of us will get back and we weren’t even with the right person!” You said and she sighed and shook her head sadly, “I know you’re not asking for my opinion, but if I can just impose it for a second I’d say to just choose you. Heal from the heartbreak and when you’re feeling more level headed about it all revisit it. See if you still love him or if everything has worn off. But make sure that whatever step you take next is for your benefit alone.” You advised and she nodded.

After that part of the conversation you two just ate and talked a bit more about your next steps. She wanted to know how you were moving on from this as well, which in reality was just a taking it day by day approach. Just from your time with her, you gathered that Dani was smart and very sweet and you could see the similarities between your way of being and hers. She was still learning how to assert herself though. For lack of a better term, she was still a bit of a pushover and maybe Cal liked that. It helped him keep her by his side. Thankfully, you had learned better in grad school. You’d learned the hard way not to bend over backwards for everyone and you could still be kind and helpful, just not at your own expense. When Cal told you that you were just harder to deal with than Dani you thought maybe it was an issue with you, but it was all with him. Dani was easier to manipulate because she still considered Cal’s feelings even when it was tearing her apart. You hoped that something you said to her resonated and made her think twice about her choices with Cal in the future. He seemed to be intimidated by women who had owned their power and well, you just couldn’t see yourself being with anyone like that ever.

All along you thought that he was the one encouraging you and empowering you to do more out of love. Empowering you to tag on a second masters. Empowering you to go for jobs you qualified for. Empowering you to pursue your passion and start your own business. And you let him because you thought the he was just being supportive and wanting to see you grow and excel. But now that you looked at your life and your accomplishments, you saw how he felt that he had given all of that to you. But after you were done with school and found your confidence and worth you didn’t need his help as much. You were more than capable on your own and that made him feel less than. Like he wasn’t good enough for you because you didn’t need his help to succeed. Suddenly everything just felt so transactional between the two of you and that just put a bad taste in your mouth. But at least you were going to be free of it very soon.

**********

Thankfully you beat the rush hour traffic out of the city and were able to stop off at the grocery store to pick up the food you’d be having for brunch the following day along with something to make for dinner. You also got yourself a nice bottle of wine and decided that homemade pizza was the way to go for dinner. Your mood improved when you remembered that Harry would be joining you tomorrow as well and you tidied up around the house with a little more pep in your step. After the cleaning bits you were in for a well deserved shower, so you washed up, exfoliated and shaved, and were soon rushing down the stairs in a big t-shirt and some tiny shorts to make your pizza. Your stomach was growling intensely, begging you to eat as soon as possible.

You were playing some of your happy music, singing and dancing around as you prepped your pizza while the oven pre-heated. Everything was going according to plan until your doorbell rang and you pulled up your phone to check the camera to see who could be out there at nearly 8 at night.

“Oh my god…” you whispered to yourself in shock as you saw none other than Harry, standing at the door with a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a tote bag over his shoulder. Your heart just about melted at the sight of him nervously biting his lip as he waited for an answer. What was he doing here? You took some calming breaths as you set your phone down and scurried out to the front door to let him in. You unlocked it and opened it up with an inevitably large smile that he was already mirroring upon seeing you on the other side of the door.

“Hi.” He greeted you with a slightly bashful grin.

“Hi! What’re you doing here?” You asked him through a nervous chuckle.

“I know it’s a bit late now, but I-uh was wondering if you still wanted to do dinner? With me?” He asked hopefully and you bit your lip to suppress your smile for a moment.

“Your timing couldn’t be more impeccable. I was actually just about to throw a pizza in the oven.” You said, pointing behind you with your thumb.

“Really?” He grinned and you nodded.

“Really, ummm come on in!” You chuckled and opened the door wider and he stepped forward. He immediately looked around the foyer before his eyes settled on you as you locked up. When you turned and saw him taking you in, you glanced down at your choice of pajamas bashfully. “Sorry, I’m a bit slob-by right now.” You explained.

“You’re not slob-by.” He assured with a small smile, “You look cute.” He shrugged and you laughed a bit, “M’serious. Like, yeah you usually look so put together, but this is nice too. You look cozy.” He assured and you chuckled.

“Thank you.” You accepted his compliment as he chuckled as well.

“Oh, got these for you.” He said as he extended the arrangement of flowers towards you and you took them.

“Thank you, they’re lovely.” You thanked him, “They’re not re-gifted are they?” You teased with a smirk and he chuckled.

“No, I swear they’re not!” He assured you, “I ummmm, didn’t end up going to the set up thing. I may have…sent her a $200 DoorDash gift card…” he said and you burst into laughter.

“No!” You gasped.

“You said, verbatim, do my worst!” He defended through a chuckle.

“I actually never said that. You said it yourself! I only told you to bomb it, but obviously, I was kidding.” You laughed as you shook your head, your eyes meeting his.

“No you weren’t.” He hummed knowingly as you bit your lip and shrugged.

“OK, I wasn’t…but that’s…I can’t believe you did that.” You chuckled as you shook your head again, “And here I was thinking you were incapable of being an asshole.” You teased.

“I also brought you some tiramisu.” He said as he raised the shoulder that had the tote bag hanging on it. “For like… old time’s sake.” He said.

“And I was right! So completely incapable of being an asshole.” You said and he chuckled, “Come on back to the kitchen.” You said and he followed you trough the house. “Can I get you anything to drink?” You asked as you set down the flowers and opened up the fridge, “I have…a very lovely red blend chilling in the fridge, I have…Coke Zero, water, or if you want a cocktail you can look through the bar.” You said as you turned around.

“Water is good for now.”

“Cold?”

“Please.” He said and you reached in for the pitcher of water and set it on the counter.

“Can I hand you this cake?”

“Yeah, of course!” You said as he pulled out the individual serving of it and you set it on a shelf in there.

“Can I help you with anything?” He asked you.

“Ummm, let me hand you a vase for the flowers.” You said as you scurried around to get one out. And soon you were handing it over as he got some water in it, while you served him a glass from the pitcher.

“Here’s your water.” You said setting it down beside him.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, of course!” You smiled, “Ummm, I only bought pineapple for my pizza.” You said.

“Oh! I mean, I already knew you had good taste, but that’s just perfect.” He hummed with a grin and you rolled your eyes playfully at just how over the top he was.

“Glad you like it, if you didn’t I would’ve had to ask you to leave.” You joked as you headed back over to where you had left you little can of drained pineapples unattended upon his arrival.

“That serious is it?”

“Oh yeah! Huge dealbreaker.” You responded smugly as he came up beside you.

“You know what my dealbreaker is?” He asked as he looked down at the pizza.

“What?” You questioned.

“When people are light-handed with the cheese.” He said to you, “Look at this!” He reprimanded playfully and you giggled.

“It’s not that I want to be stingy, I just have to be mindful of my tummy.” You defended. “Specially now that I have an unexpected guest!” Harry laughed at your excuse.

“Fine. But next time I’m gonna bring you those Lactaid pills so you can eat all the cheese you want.” He said and you smiled up at him.

“Wow, my hero. That’s so romantic of you.” You responded and he hummed.

“I know right.” He hummed smugly as you scattered the pineapple all over the pizza’s surface. “So how was lunch with Daniela?” He asked.

“Good. I think she just needed to talk about her plans. Cal had mentioned to me that I was abrasive, but I think he just likes that Dani is still quite…easy to talk into things. I mean, I was that way when we were first together because he’s older. I assumed he was wiser, knew better, knew more than I did, you know? So she still gives a lot of weight to how her calls will impact him and his feelings.”

“I see.”

“Yeah, so I just reminded her to ensure that whatever she does next, that she’s doing what’s best for herself. Like, I know Cal hopes she’ll take him back and maybe she wants to, but she’s doubtful, you know?”

“Yeah, understandably so.”

“Right. And I mean, I also explained to her that living like that, with doubt in your partner is just awful and draining. So to only get back with him if she knew for a fact that everything was different this time.”

“Do you think it would be different?” Harry asked.

“I think so…Cal is so in love with her and I’m sure he would put in far more effort than he ever did with me. But at the end of the day he still broke her trust and that’s always going to be hard to recover, you know?”

“Yeah. Well, I think it’s good you were able to hear her out, give her a bit of advice.” He hummed and moved out of your way and hurried to open the door of the oven so that you could slide the tray in.

“Alright we have about 20 minutes.” You said as you closed up the door and then reached for your phone to set a timer.

“Cool. I’ll help you clean up a bit.”

“Oh, thank you.” You smiled and then just asked him to wash the things you had used to spread the sauce and the few dishes in the sink while you packed up the things you had used for the pizza. “So are you driving back home tonight and then coming back in the morning?”

“No, I was gonna get a room somewhere close by.” He said and you hummed.

“Well you can stay here if you want?” You offered, “We have guest rooms and that way you won’t need to have another expense.”

“Only if you’re OK with it, Y/N.”

“Of course! I’ve stayed at your holiday home free of charge, let me at least do the same for you.” You smiled and he nodded.

“OK, thank you. I’ll go get my overnight bag from the car and ummm, possibly change into something more comfortable.”

“Yeah, sure!” You said and he hurried out to his car.

You text Cece quickly to let her know that Harry had come by tonight and she responded so fast you swear she broke a record. She asked you to be extra nice to him, which you knew what she meant by that, but to please let her know if she needed to just find an excuse to cancel on you for brunch. You rolled your eyes upon reading that, but soon Harry was coming back into the kitchen.

“Let me give you the room upstairs.” You said before guiding him up the steps. “Sorry, we’re renovating the bathroom in the room downstairs. It has a door to the backyard as well, so we use it for the pool.” You shared as you reached the top of the stairs and flicked on the lights before you continued guiding him down the hallway.

“That’s alright. I’ll be closer if you need me. Or if I need you! You know, for safety reasons.” He tagged on and you sniggered as you stopped before the closed door. “Don’t laugh at me. You make me nervous.” He confessed lowly when you opened up the door to the room. You turned to him with some confusion as you moved aside to let him in.

“Do I really?” You asked him and he nodded as he stepped in further, “Why?” You questioned through a small laugh as you flicked on the lights. You were now a bit concerned with what he would say next. Would he be just like Caleb? Intimidated by a fully realized woman? Afraid that your power meant less power for him?

“I just…don’t feel in control.” He explained with a slight furrow in his eyebrows as he set his bag down at the foot of the bed. “It’s not something that happens to me often so I don’t…know how to act sometimes.” He admitted with a nervous smile, “Like I just…word vomit or my thoughts get jumbled up, like they did just now, and it’s weird for me to feel this way.” He explained.

“Oh…” you said back quietly and then smiled. “Well, I must admit you make me nervous too.” You confessed as you stepped further into the room.

“See, I’d never know that.” He said with a small smile as you sat at the end of the bed as he proceeded to unzip his bag. “You always appear so poised and just collected.” He said as he removed his toiletries bag to get to his sleeping clothes.

“I assure you I am not.” You smiled nervously and then your smile faltered a bit. “That’s actually something that ummm…Caleb mentioned when he told me he wanted to get divorced. He said he used to love it and it’s one of the things he hates most about me now. I mean, he wasn't actually like, being a dick about it when he explained.” You said softly and Harry frowned as he looked up at you. “I guess he meant to say that he felt that I was emotionally impenetrable to some extent. Like I’m hiding behind the nonchalance?” You explained.

“Hey, look at me.” He said and you glanced up to him, “I don’t think you’re hiding. I think you’re just…maybe a little bit guarded.” He explained and you nodded, “And not in a way to elicit interest or speculation from others. S’just to ensure that you’re showing your vulnerability to the right people, to the people who you can trust. I don’t think I could ever hate that about you when it’s the thing that just…keeps me on my toes.” He smiled and you did as well, “I like it when you let me in and show me what exactly it is you’re thinking and feeling.” He explained.

“You’re right about it all. I mean, I used to be the biggest pushover, so now I just…ensure to be a bit more reserved to gauge who deserves more of me and who doesn’t. I don’t know, maybe to him it was some game, like I was playing hard to get or something? But it’s just that after being treated like a door mat for so long you start to toughen up, you know?”

“Yeah.” He hummed. “I don’t like that he gets to you like this.”

“Me either…I mean, usually he wouldn’t but like a part of me wants to feel some sense of responsibility for what happened so that there could be a logical explanation as to why he betrayed me this way. Like if there’s something, anything, I could fix or do better next time to prevent getting cheated on then I’ll be safe, you know? Then I could for certain say I did everything I could and the issue is with the other person. But when he says it’s just because he has a wandering eye then…I feel like an idiot because I basically walked into this situation, you know?” You explained to him.

“If he has a wandering eye he would’ve found any number of reasons to cheat, love. People like that always have an excuse and always find a way to shift blame. There is nothing you can or could’ve done better because it’s all in Cal’s hands. It always has been. His inability to have some respect for his wife and marriage and his lack of some basic self-control are his issues alone. S’got absolutely nothing to do with you, so get that out of your head. It’s absolute garbage.” He said with conviction and you bit your lip and nodded. Harry was right, these things were Cal’s issues alone and you were not interested in continuing to take any fault for him.

“You’re right. So right…” you hummed, “Well, I’ll leave you to get changed.” You said and he nodded as you closed the door behind yourself and headed back down stairs.

**********

The night had been fun so far. Your pizza was good and you both had a couple of cocktails as you watched bake off, shouting at the TV screen as if you were watching the Super Bowl.

“If Janusz get’s kicked off I will throw a fit.” Harry mumbled, before letting out a shaky breath.

“His ice cream is not going to set in time…” you said with fear and just moments later you were both groaning as he served up his technical dessert. It was a completely melted mess.

“Alright, he’s still got the show stopper to get back on his game.” Harry said and you hummed in agreement. Completely entranced as you watched the show stoppers until they were presenting it to the judges.

“Sandro’s got to take star baker.” You hummed.

“Yeah, he was basically smashing it the whole time.” He hummed in agreement. Moments later they announced Syabira as star baker. “What?! No!”

“No! Boo!” You both griped, “Her first custard was completely liquid!”

“And she failed the technical! It was absolute shit!” He added with gustó and you giggled a bit. “Sandro was robbed…” Harry shook his head. And then you watched as they let Kevin go with small frowns.

“I’m about to cry…God.” You muttered and he chuckled and pulled you into his side. You smiled as you rested your head against his shoulder and then you cuddled a bit closer.

“Go on and get comfy then.” Harry said softly and you smiled as you just had him lay down so that you could lay over his chest. The next episode came on and you both watched it quietly like this for a bit.

“Harry?” You spoke tentatively.

“Hmmm?”

“I really like you.” You said softly. His heart started pounding hard at your confession.

“I really like you too.” He said as his hand ran up and down your back soothingly. “Literally think about you every day.” He confessed. You pressed yourself up a bit and smiled at him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!” He chuckled through his confirmation, “Wanted to talk to you a bit more but I figured you just needed some space to get everything sorted out.”

“Well thank you for considering that but ummm…you can talk to me whenever you want. Just throwing that out there.” You said with a grin and he chuckled.

“Noted.”

“Can I kiss you?” You asked and he smiled.

“Yes. Please.” He barely got the words out before you were connecting your lips to his.

You had no idea how, but just being around him made you feel like you were on fire. Your lips moved eagerly with his and you melted against him at the feeling of his big, warm hands siding down to your waist and pressing your body even closer against his. Your neck was growing a bit sore from your position so you decided to straddle his lap before connecting your lips to his again. The soft, wet smacks of your kisses made your tummy tingle. You reached one of your hands to his, guiding it down your backside. Harry was quick to take the hint and grabbed handfuls of your bottom before guiding you to rut against his lap. You could feel the bulge of his cock growing through the sweatpants he had on and you shifted on his lap, feeling his fingers dig into your bottom. It made you grin into the kiss and your eyes flickered open as you slightly pulled back. Harry opened his eyes and looked at you before glancing down to your lips, he started reaching to kiss you again, but you slightly pulled back with a teasing smirk and he smiled.

“Please.” He whispered.

“Please what?” You questioned innocently.

“Please kiss me.” He clarified and you lowered yourself back down only to skim your nose along his before kissing the corner of his mouth and he chuckled as he dug his fingers further into your bottom, “Please.” He requested again. It was making you excited, hearing him beg for you, “Please, baby.” He whispered.

The impatience in his eyes was feeding a part of you that had been starved for so long. Your eyes were swimming with a dark need and every part of you just wanted to blow his mind and have him so horny and needy for you that he kept begging and begging for more of you. You wanted him to keep thinking about you nonstop, you wanted to make him feel so fucking good. Take such good care of him like he always did to you. You grabbed the side of his face gently with your right hand and he leaned into your touch as his eyes fluttered closed.

“Look at me.” You whispered and his eyes slowly blinked open to meet yours. They were also dark with lust and glanced down to your mouth again. You ground yourself against his clothed erection and you smirked as his eyes fluttered closed as a deep groan rumbled through him. “Gonna take such good care of you, Harry. I’m gonna make you feel so good, just how you make me feel good.” You whispered. “Want you t’do whatever you want to me when you feel it, OK?” You requested softly and he nodded.

“Yeah, baby.” He assured, “We’ll feel it out together, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You smiled before kissing him again. You suddenly sucked on his bottom lip before sinking your teeth into it and tugging it back. Your eyes met his and they followed yours until you were kissing his chin and then up his jaw. Harry extended his neck and you smiled before kissing right under his jaw, gently sucking, latching your lips to his skin.

“Harder.” He muttered and you sighed and sucked harder. His hands squeezed your butt until you let go. You kissed the bruised little patch and then sunk lower. You kissed over his bobbing Adam’s apple and then the base of his throat.

“Take off your shirt.” You hummed seductively and then pulled back. He sat up quickly and haphazardly tore off his shirt before dropping it on the ground. Upon seeing his exposed body again you lunged at him. He sniggered softly as you immediately felt up his abs. He may or may not have flexed a bit harder so that your fingers could really feel the dips of his well defined, washboard abs. Then your hands roamed up his chest. So broad and firm, you could practically grab a handful of him. You sunk lower yet again to kiss over his pecs. You scratched down his left pec as your tongue swirled over his right nipple. You felt him twitch beneath you as you nipped at it gently before you sunk even lower. You kissed each one of his abs and around his belly button before kissing down the trail of hair leading to his cock. You stopped at the elastic of his sweatpants.

“Let’s get these off.” you said and he helped you tug them down along with his briefs. His thick, heavy cock sprung up quickly as soon as his briefs were down his thighs. You quickly got them down to his ankles and he sat up and kissed you as he toed them off. His hands held your face securely as he licked into your mouth. You moaned into his messy kiss and reached for his cock. He sighed in relief as you squeezed your palm around his tip. You felt his precum smearing against your skin and you rubbed it over him before making a fist around the head and stroking up and down slowly. “You’re so fucking big.” You mumbled into his mouth.

“I know, but you still take it all the way don’t you?” He responded and you nodded.

“Yeah. Love how you feel inside.” You panted.

“Mmm…suck my cock.” He ordered and you pecked his lips before sinking again and not wasting any time to get him into your mouth. He moaned the second your were sucking on his tip. You were messy with it, letting yourself salivate at the taste of his skin on your tongue. You got a little bit greedy and sunk down halfway. After a few seconds there you sunk down all the way and he groaned and dug his fingers into your hair as his tip met with the back of your mouth.

“Fuck…oh fuck…” he exhaled with eyes squeezed shut. You breathed through your nose as you tried to get him down your throat and gagged and he pulled you up quickly. “Breathe, baby. Breathe and try again.” He hummed, “Fuck, please try again. Need to get down your little throat.”

You swallowed thickly before sinking back down, taking your time to get him in deeper. Then you felt him start thrusting up slowly while his hands guided your head over him. He was locked on his pace, which helped you know when to expect the nudge of his tip to the entrance of your throat.

“Doing so well for me. Gonna go a bit deeper now. Breathe f’me. Then let it out nice and slow.” He said and you did so and when you started to exhale he started pushing your head down even lower. You hummed around him and he moaned at the vibrations around his cock. You were dripping saliva but neither of you seemed to care. He starting thrusting up a bit faster, just nudging down your throat, “Fuck, that’s a good girl…” He groaned deeply, “Take my fucking cock. Take my cock down your throat.” He grunted as he fucked your mouth until you just couldn’t hold off anymore and choked around his cock. He pulled you up and panted hard as he gripped your hair hard in his fist. You swallowed hard and caught your breath before resting your head on his thigh and smiling up at him. He smiled down at you too and then bit his lip as he watched you sink down and lave at his balls. You were gentle as you sucked one in between your lips. “Shit…fuck th-that’s fucking good.” He moaned, pushing your face closer to his groin. You moaned before popping off and sucking the other one just the same until his legs were wriggling beneath you. “Fuck you’re gonna make me come…” he moaned and you quickly popped off and he was panting. “Shit.” He chuckled breathily and you hummed and kissed his thigh.

“Can I ride your cock?” You asked and he nodded.

“Yes. Please baby, ride my cock.” He begged. You knelt up and slid your shirt off before standing from the couch to get your shorts off. Harry sat upright but slouched against the couch. He wrapped a fist around his cock as he watched you undressing. “So fucking pretty.” He hummed and you smiled as you approached him and then knelt over his lap.

“Ready?” You whispered and he nodded. He glanced down, holding his cock up at your entrance to let you lower yourself. You started to drop your hips, obsessing over the feeling of his cock sinking into your sopping pussy. You felt the pressure increasing against your entrance until it finally gave and he plunged deep into you. You both moaned in satisfaction as you relished in the feeling of his cock finally being inside of you. “Fuck you’re so deep.” You smiled against his lips and he hugged tight around your waist and pulled you down as he thrust up hard. You gasped as he reached new depths that made your thighs tremble because his tip was rubbing right into your spot. You were covered in goosebumps in seconds before an involuntary moan spilled out of your throat.

“Fuck…that’s it isn’t it, baby?” He hummed haughtily as he thrust up into it again.

“Yeah.” You whimpered, “Right there…please don’t stop!” You keened as your toes curled. You started to grind down against him going faster and faster until your were gasping and choking on a cry as your orgasm rolled through your body like a giant wave. You tingled and shivered and seemingly vibrated in ecstasy. You felt so secure as Harry hugged around you tight, continuing to move you over his cock, helping you ride out your orgasm. You started to ride him again, adding a little more bounce to your movement and he groaned and surged forward to latch his lips to your nipple. He sucked hard as you ground down against him.

“You’re so good.” He hummed before sucking it back in again. Your hands raked into his hair and he groaned as you tugged a bit roughly at the roots. “Fuck, you feel so good, baby.” He praised, “Can I take you to the bedroom?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, let’s get up there.” You grinned and without regard for your clothes rushed from the TV room to the bedroom he'd be in.

He followed you in, not really minding the door as he trailed behind you, hands on your hips. He turned you around when you got to the foot of the bed and he picked you up and tossed you up further onto the bed. You laughed as he clambered over you, kissing you as he parted your legs to fit himself between them. You bit your lip as he lined up to your entrance again and started to push inside. Your jaw dropped as you exhaled in relief at his girth stretching you and filling you up. Harry’s eyebrows were creased as he tried to keep it together and just held himself deep inside before drawing himself out. You whined at the lack of his intrusion and he grinned.

“Please, Harry. Please.” You whispered.

“Yeah, baby? Want my cock?” He teased and you nodded.

“Yeah, please. Need you back inside.” You keened and he prodded at your entrance, teasing you by just letting his tip push into you before he’d draw his hips back. You lifted yours up trying to chase after his cock, desperate to feel him back inside of your tight, hot walls. “Harry…” you whined, eyes locking on his and he chuckled at your desperation before just dipped back inside to the hilt. He rolled his hips into you and made your eyes roll back in pleasure. He immediately started to pick up his pace, the thwacking sound of his balls against your ass was making you feral. You were cursing and whimpering as his cock hit all of the right spots. You fit a hand between your bodies and rubbed at your clit in quick circles until your were struggling to breathe, body tensing up as your pleasure started to reach it’s peak.

“Fuck, you’re so close. I can feel it, you’re so fucking wet for me and squeezing so hard, baby.” Harry hummed with hunger as he maintained his thrusting pattern consistent. It was building you up, pushing you towards the edge with each one until you were trembling.

“Oh! I’m coming!” You cried out loudly as you rubbed your clit faster until you were withering around Harry’s cock. He moaned as he started thrusting harder and deeper into you. You winced with each merciless thrust to your poor, sensitive, dripping pussy.

“You OK? Want me to stop?” He asked and you quickly shook your head.

“Please no.” you whimpered and he chuckled lowly.

Should I keep going and flood your little pussy with my come?“ He panted.

“Yes please, I want it so bad.” You mewled and he groaned.

“Fuck…fuck, I’m right there…” he moaned before he choked out a groan and dropped his weight over you and he sunk as deep as possible, releasing his load deep inside of you. He was panting but found your mouth with his. Kissing you sloppily as he hummed in pleasure. He was tingling and you were loving the warmth and weight of his body over yours. “Fuck, I missed you.” He sighed in satisfaction and you smiled as you hugged around his back.

“I missed you too.” You hummed happily.

After lazing around for a bit Harry headed off to have a shower and you ended up telling Cece that you guys could just meet up for dinner and she was very supportive of that decision. You joined Harry in the shower and had another go in there before he ended up dragging you out and eating you out on the bed until you were seeing stars. Your chest even burned a bit from how shallow your breathing was.

“Fuck…oh my god…” you panted as Harry kissed his way up your body before reaching your lips and kissing you quickly, “Think we’ll need to sleep in my room, the bed’s all damp now.” You huffed.

“Do you mind?” He asked and you shook your head.

“Not at all.” You assured him.

After he got dressed you were both settling into your bed. He pulled you closer into his body, spooning you so that you were nice and snug against him.

“Thank you for coming over.” You hummed quietly and Harry smiled and hugged you just a bit tighter.

“There’s no where I’d rather be, baby.” He assured you. “The divorce is final in a few weeks right?”

“Mhmmm.” You confirmed.

“Can I take you out or is it too soon?” He asked quietly and you turned around.

“I’d love to go out with you.” You said, practically beaming from ear to ear.

“Oh great, I’ll plan something special for us soon. I’d say tomorrow, but tomorrow, we’re spending it in bed. Have to make up for lost time, so rest up.” He hummed before kissing you and you easily fell into it until he turned around and asked you to scratch his back and you talked quietly until you both dosed off.

The next few days were absolute bliss with Harry. You got a peek of his domestic side and were absolutely obsessed with how sweet and thoughtful he was. Of course the reunion with Cece was as exciting as you’d imagined. There were tons of laughs and inside jokes now and of course, the promise that Harry would be around a lot more. He had made breakfast for you Sunday morning and then drove you around to do your errands for some events you had coming up in the next few weeks. You spent some time in the hot tub, mostly making out until you just needed to have a shower and have another good shag before bed. Your body was sore and tired, but you hadn’t felt so good in so long. Good in every sense of the word. You felt at ease around him and the evidence was in how you passed out on his chest as he played with your hair tenderly.

“Hey, baby.” Harry mumbled against your temple as you stirred a bit.

“Hmm?” You groaned groggily.

“Sorry it’s so early, but I’ve gotta go to work.” He said and you frowned, your weekend together had flown by.

“Right…Monday.” You huffed with dread and he chuckled.

“Yeah, love.” He said before kissing your forehead, your cheeks, and then you puckered your lips against his softly. “I have a dinner meeting tonight, but I can come again on Tuesday? Can even get off early, help you set up for that event for your client?” He offered and you nodded immediately and he chuckled. “Alright, baby.”

“Drive safe.”

“I will. I’ll text you when I get to the office, OK?”

“OK.” You hummed, “I’ll walk you out?”

“S’alright.” He assured and you shook your head and sat up.

“I insist, baby.” You said and he smiled and gave you a second to stretch before you hurried down the stairs with him and out to the door.

“Miss you already!” He called out the window and you grinned and blew him a kiss before he drove off.

… SIX MONTHS LATER …

You and Harry had been seeing each other on the DL for four months now. He had asked you to be his girlfriend on new year’s eve and you’d been spending all of your free time together. Shortly after the divorce with Cal was finalized you guys were able to sell the house and you’d found somewhere else to live by then which was actually a bit close to Harry’s own place which was rather convenient as your relationship grew more and more serious. Personally, you were thriving and you were looking after yourself so much more than before. Harry was an incredible partner and you swore that everything you felt for him couldn’t fit inside of you in any way, it seemed to be overflowing and you were seriously considering telling him you loved him over your holiday in Italy.

Cal had been doing a bit better than before. Dani ended up asking to be transferred to the London branch of the company and had been there since January. Obviously, this completely devastated Caleb, but he seemed to also just focus on bettering himself. You didn’t really talk often after he told you Dani left, he wasn’t sure who to talk to it about, but you encouraged him to find a therapist to work on himself and he assured you he would try his best. He would reach out every now and again though, he was still feeling a bit lonely and you were itching to tell him that you and Harry were together. You hated feeling like you had to hide your happiness, but Harry had insisted on telling Cal himself before you went on your vacation. He said that at least this way you’d be gone long enough to give him time to get used to the idea without feeling like you guys were shoving your relationship in his face. You agree to let him do it in his own time, but also it would save you the difficult task of having to tell your ex-husband that you were in a relationship with his boss; you couldn’t see that conversation going well in any capacity.

Harry was also very happy with you. He loved to see you thriving and he was more than thrilled that he was playing such a pivotal role in your happiness. He feels that he had always been a pretty good partner, but with you it was just different. He lived for the times he made you smile. He was also very excited for your romantic Italian holiday, it was just three weeks away now. He had planned to stop in England for a few days on the way back so that you could meet his family, he just felt like he needed to make all of the right moves with you because he wanted you in his life forever if possible.

He was currently typing away at his computer furiously, just trying to get everything settled before he left. Just then a few knocks on his door sounded.

“Hey Harry, you wanted to talk to me?” Caleb asked as he came into his office and Harry glanced up at Cal.

“Hey mate, yeah. Have a seat.” Harry instructed and soon Cal was settling into one of the seats in front of Harry’s desk.

“What can I do for you?” Caleb asked cheerfully.

“I’m going to be out of the country on holiday for a month in a few short weeks and I just wanted to touch base with you about some of the things I’d like you to be in charge of while I’m gone.”

“Yeah sure.”

“So I’d like you to head all of the client meetings for that time period. You’ve been doing so well with that, I trust you the most to make things work and to cut the best deals. There’s a particular client that I really want to land, I’ll email you all that information and my personal files on the client. Please look over it when you get a minute today and we can discuss some strategy tomorrow.”

“Perfect.”

“Additionally, you and Daria will be overseeing all operations in my absence. That being said, you’ll receive a bonus for all the extra work you put in for that month. I know it might make you have to shift your schedule somewhat so please just take note of any extra hours and I’ll will ensure you get some OT for those hours as well.”

“Not necessary, Harry but thank you.” Caleb nodded in agreement, “So where are you heading off to?” Cal asked and Harry bit his lip for a second. He knew you didn’t mind him telling Cal about your relationship, in fact he had been the one to ask if he could break it to Cal because of their overlapping professional relationship and well, now was the moment to do it. He had even tried to do it a bit sooner but when he’d seen it was a rough day for Caleb he’d put it off. But this needed to happen now.

“Italy.” He shared and Cal’s eyebrows arched up in surprise.

“Oh, nice! Y/N is going to Italy soon too. Not too sure of the dates but-”

“That’s actually another reason for why I wanted to talk to you.” He said and Cal looked at him expectantly, “I’m…with her. Y/N, she’s my girlfriend and we’re going on holiday together.” He said, just getting it out there and Cal’s eyebrows arched up even further.

“Oh…” was all he said and Harry nodded, waiting for his next response expectantly but he didn’t say much, just kind of looked at his desk.

“I wanted to tell you because well, we still work together. I know that your marriage ended not too long ago, but I just want you to know that whatever has gone on outside of work is not any of my business so long as you keep doing excellent work here. And I have certainly treated you as a great employee and friend to some extent and ummm, I hope that you will do the same for me now that I’m with Y/N. I guess, I'm just saying I hope this doesn’t impact our professional relationship.” Harry explained.

“When did this happen?” Cal asked, seemingly ignoring what Harry had just said.

“Officially, I asked her to be my girlfriend on new year’s. I think we’re getting serious now though.” Harry said.

“Already, huh?” He asked with a sad smile and Harry nodded.

“Yeah, I’m ummm…in love with her and I want to see this through.” Harry admitted to him and Caleb cleared his throat and nodded.

“Right. Well, thanks for telling me. I don’t love her anymore, but it’s just…a weird situation, you know? It’s fine though, I’m glad you’re happy with her.”

“Of course. And well, Y/N wanted to tell you a bit sooner but I insisted I break the news to you since…we’re the ones who will continue to see each other day to day.”

“No, I get it. She’s…great and I mean, you’re lucky to have her in your life.” He said and Harry nodded.

“Thank you, I know.”

“What ummm…what brought you guys together?” He asked.

“I think the dinner at my place in September really sealed the deal. I mean, I thought she was beautiful and smart and just the way she helped Tamika and well, Dani…I just thought she was really great. Then ummm I went to check on her since I could tell she was…a bit sad about the way the night had gone for her and ummm…one thing led to another and…well…” he sighed and Cal looked surprised.

“Oh…”

“I’m really sorry.” Harry apologized because he had never meant to get in between you two. And though he had omitted your previous interactions, he felt that having sex with you while you were upset with Cal could make him think that Harry had something to do with you also being eager to get a divorce from him.

“Well, it’s not like I didn’t deserve it.” He said and Harry frowned a bit, “Just…treat her right, yeah?”

“I will.” Harry smiled and Cal returned the gesture.

“And she’s happy?” He asked Harry who nodded.

“Yeah, very happy. She’s doing great.” Harry confirmed.

“Good.” He hummed.

Obviously, things were just a bit weird for the rest of the day but Harry felt nothing but relief knowing that he’d been able to finally tell Caleb about his relationship with you. He loved you, it had happened so quickly for him, but just getting to say that to someone had made it all the more real. For the rest of the day he felt this pressure over his chest, an anxious need to tell you exactly how he felt for you. He didn’t want it to go unsaid for a minute more.

And when he got to your apartment that night and heard some Frank Sinatra playing through the door he immediately smiled. He loved that he could see you whenever he wanted now, though that did nothing to get him to stop thinking about you all day every day.

“Baby, is that you?” You called out as soon as you heard the front door close with a heavy thud.

“Yeah!” He called back as he set his things down and slipped out of his shoes, “It smells amazing!”

“It’s a chickpea masala soup!” You announced and soon you felt Harry wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Hi, baby.” He greeted as he kissed the side of your head.

“Hi!” You greeted him happily and then spun around to grab his face, “A kiss please.”

“Another?” He grinned and you nodded, “Of course. Anything for m’girl.” He hummed happily and pressed his lips to yours. After a few distracting and wonderful moments of your lips together you parted and you reared back to look in his eyes, “Told Cal about us today.” He shared.

“Oh? How’d he take it?” You asked right away.

“Fine. He was just surprised.” Harry explained and you nodded.

“Good. So I can come visit you at work now.” You grinned.

“Course. I’ll always make time for you.” He hummed happily and you kissed him again, “Ummm, as I was talking to him I ummm realized something. Well not realized, because I’ve known but realized that I needed to do something about it. And I just really need to tell you that I…that I love you.” He said and your eyes softened as they met his.

“Do you really?” You asked with a little smile.

“Yeah, baby. You’re everything I didn’t know I was missing. The moment you came into my life it was changed, for the better, of course. And I don’t want to let another minute pass me by without telling you that despite all the time and hurt that we’ve endured, we met when we were supposed to and I can’t imagine my life without you in it. My whole heart is all yours, always.” He said sweetly and you pouted in endearment with a thumping heart at his confession.

“I love you too. With every piece of my heart and I don’t even want to think about life without you, H. Thank you for loving me.” You said and he chuckled as he kissed your forehead.

“No, thank you for making me feel whole. I’m so lucky to have met you, I’ll never ever get tired of showing you what you mean to me, baby.” He assured with a happy smile as your eyes teared up.

“Oh, I love you so much.” You sighed as you hugged him tight and he hummed happily.

“I love you.” He whispered happily.

—- Tag List —-

@sunshinemoonsposts @anotherdudetteinthisworld @matildasatellite @sad-avocado @sunflovverharry @cherrysulewski @daphnesutton @gurugirl @jessitpwk @permanentllyharry @here4thefanfics @slutfortigertattoo @angelbabyyy99 @freedomfireflies @behindmygreyeyes@mellamolayla @nikkisimps @dioc4ne @straightontilmornin @mema10 @fkinavocado @hazuniverse @lolyouallsuck @kathb59 @fictionalmensblog @criesbc1d @mamassssontour

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whoishotteranimepolls · 21 days

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Poll analysis part 5

This one isn't so much related to fandom behavior. Overall, it's more about how certain characters or apparently where some people draw the line enough to have made a fuss in the comments or my inbox. I find it interesting where the standards are for some people and I mean I just drew the line at no sentient weapons or mechs

And when I say cause a fuss that would mean causing crap in the comments to messaging me asking me to ban characters or entire franchises because they're problematic for various reasons which I will get into. To flat out harassment of me for allowing these characters in my polls and the people who voted for whatever character they have a problem. It's the full spectrum of bad behavior. This is going to get weird

Izutsumi from Dungeon Meshi why is she the only character people are causing crap about for being 17? I have gotten so many messages about this one character. No one gives a crap about the other underage characters apparently, but the 17 year old cat girl is too much. And again, I think I would have gotten at least one message about one of the 15-year-olds but no just the underage cat girl. I am so confused why this is the line for so many people. When I say she has been a problem, she has been in two polls and she has been the source of 7 polite messages. 12 not nice messages full on harassing messages. Calling me a disgusting pervert for even allowing her in my polls. 11 comments that had to be deleted 12 tags/Reblogs that had to be hidden. All because they said something like she's 17 you perverts. I have set a new record for the amount of people I've had to block over a single character and she's been in two polls. I didn't get this much crap over the character that looked 12.

Kikuri Hiroi from Bocchi the Rock! My original problem character because of her Moe art style she looks 12. Even though she's 28, I've resorted to just putting her age in the post to avoid the things turning into a dumpster fire after that first poll.

Uncle Iroh was a character. I did not expect to cause issues because everyone loves Uncle iroh. Apparently some people find it weird that some people find him hot. Because multiple people have made a fuss in comments or in my inbox about how it's gross or weird to find him hot because he's a grandpa. Ironically, one of the people making a fuss about iroh really has a crush on Silvers Rayleigh the irony in that is hilarious.

Toji Fushiguro I've gotten a few messages about him saying he should be banned because he's a crappy father. A terrible person and anyone who finds him attractive should seek psychiatric help. People he's a villain calm down This is Tumblr. I feel like people have forgotten Loki mania where he was considered the god of Tumblr. I think Tumblr has a thing for villains. Look at the persistence longevity of the Hannibal fandom. So please calm down people it's still not a justifiable reason to ban a character from my polls.

Dracula from Castlevania because genocide and sexism once again I'm sorry people sometimes find villains hot. I'm confused about the sexism part. I think it's because of the way he treated Carmilla, But I'm still confused because that man loved his wife

Franken Stein from Soul Eater. I've gotten a message that he should be banned because he's a groomer. I watched Soul Eater and I'm also confused about this one. If any Soul Eater fans can anyone help me? I'm again so confused about this one. If anyone from Soul Eater should be banned for bad behavior, it is not Stein

Gojo, is a little bit of a headache character for me for the thousands of comments I've seen calling him the Blue-Eyed demon seriously Tumblr what has this man done to you? How did he hurt you? He is also a character I have had people message me asking me to ban because apparently he's racist. I'm so confused.

And to build upon this, someone sent an entire list of characters that should be banned because they have blonde hair and blue eyes because if they win that reinforces white centric colonial beauty standards I should have screenshotted that message. These polls are done for stupid fun and I don't think they are going to reinforce colonialism. In fact, many of you have told me they're going to kill the British monarchy and I think that's the opposite of reinforcing colonialism. That list is too long to post in its entirety here. Remember I said this was going to be a little weird.

Someone actually messaged me saying I should not put Victor from Yuri on Ice in future polls because he is not a good representation of the lgbtq+ community

I've also received similar messages about Grell Sutcliff and Yamato for the trans community

Dungeon Meshi You think would be free of criticism because it's so loved however Laios Touden should be banned because he's blonde with blue eyes and a bad representation of people with autism. I wish I was making this up. Marcelle and Falin are not safe either because some people have it out for blondes and they are also not good representation of the LGBTQ+ community

A bunch of Fullmetal Alchemist characters should be banned including Mustang, Hawkeye, Ed, Alphonse, Armstrong, Hughes basically everyone but Scar. Because those characters perpetrate and promote genocide, racism, ethnic cleansing, imperialism, the military industrial complex, colonialism, fascism, sexism, misogyny, and white supremacy. I honestly think someone missed the entire point of the show but that's just me.

Someone wants the entire Apothecary Diaries franchise banned because it's sexist, misogynistic and a poor representation of Chinese culture.

And basically any villain or abusive parent. Someone has complained about or pushed to get banned because it makes them uncomfortable. Because God forbid characters have flaws

So many One Piece characters are problematic just for being One Piece characters not for anything they've done in the story or their character arc or anything like that. It's really because I have a group of people that think I should ban the entire franchise from my polls because the one piece art style is misogynistic. Oh boy. I should have screenshotted some of the essays I received in my inbox. Some of you need to take a chill pill because if I get another essay about one piece being misogynistic because of the art style, I'm going to shame you by posting that crab publicly. Because I will admit the art style is not for everyone, but especially when it comes to the female characters. But those female characters are some of the best written you will find in all of Shonen anime. Plus if we really want to start banning anime franchises for being misogynistic, It's going to be a bloodbath. Because if One Piece is misogynistic for the art style, Naruto is misogynistic for the writing. And I could probably find something misogynistic about most Shonen anime. So again let's not even go there.

The only justifiable reason I would ever ban a character is if the fandom becomes so toxic it's no longer worth it for me to put up with the drama. Now all the blogs I have had to block have been dedicated to one of two things. Naruto or Dungeon Meshi. One of those fandoms I already refer to as my problem child fandom and the other one I hate to say is quickly becoming its twin.

So can we all just agree to calm down because if I banned everything someone had an issue with because it's sexist, misogynistic, racist, etc. There would be no characters left. So let's calm down everyone and please keep the complaints and the tantrums to a minimum. I am a fellow fan that runs this blog for fun and I'm very tired of this crap.

#poll analysis #not a poll #fandom culture #whoishotteranimepolls #fandoms and media literacy

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obsessedduh · 10 days

Text

genre: smutty with a plotty.

cw: implied fem reader and sub simon. reader is a bit mean dumification, sexism (reader mocks simon for being a man and being 'weak') masochism (simon), sadism (reader), simon is a crybaby. loads of f-bombs. bit of a long one and may be loads of spelling mistakes, but bare with me, y'all 😭🙏🏾

side note: i'm such a shit writer that it makes me want to cry. ughhh, like i've some people smuts, and i'm so jealous, like, i'm so shit at writing it burns 😭😭

MDNI – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

dorky!gamerboy!simon with a slutty, popular, mean roommate.

he finds her so annoying, walking around in your dorm with those stupidly tight booty shorts that show the bottom half of your ass and those annoyingly tight tank tops that you wear that has your nipples poking through the fabric of them.

it's so aggravating because you get him hard in the matter of seconds and then you make him stumble of his words or make him blush like a fucking idiot.

and ohhh, don't even get him started when you bring guys over. it's so fucking irritating trying to study or play video games with a boner and having to listen to you stupid pornagraphic moans, it's so fucking distracting!

and on top of that, when he finishes studying and thinks he can finally go to bed in peace. wrong. the familiar buzzing noise he hears through the thin walls, and your moans are enough to make him go insane. he thinks his poor cock is on its last leg because of how many times he's had to jerk off.

he bets you're doing it on purpose at this point! trying to get him all riled up. trying to drive him nuts! i mean, what other reason is there?

also, your attitude is so bad. he could be telling you to do something, and you're already telling him to piss off. then it leads to an argument and blah blah blah.

you're honestly so fucking bitchy and it gets on his nerves.

today was no different! he was playing video games as per usual until you bursted into his room. you obviously startled him but he doesn't pay attention to you. just taking off his headset and letting it rest around his neck and still continuing to play his game, "don't you know how to fucking knock!?"

"whatever. get off your stupid game, it's your turn to do the dishes."

he groans and shifts around in his chair, so it spins to look at you, "i did them yester-..." as soon as he manages to look at you straight away, his eyes widen. you're stading in his doorway wearing a red lacey bra and a matching lacey red thong.

what kind of woman does this!? standing in front of her guy roommate, half-naked!? his eyes trace all over your body, your figure, and he can't help the blood rushing down south. he gulps and shifts his hands to block the serious boner he was having right now.

"why the fuck are you staring at me like that?"

"n-nothing..."

"whatever, you gonna wash the dishes or what?"

"s-sure... j-just give me a m-moment."

"aight cool. just hurry the fuck up, dork."

you leave him be and close the door and as soon as he hears the door click. his hands are already pulling down his sweatpants and fisting his aching hard cock, moving his hand up and down at an uneven pace, so desperate to cum. your name falling out his lips and filthy images of you clouded his mind.

meanwhile you were getting annoyed because he was taking way to long. you opened the door, "why the fu-..."

your eyes shoot open. he clearly didn't hear the door open or your voice. you grin as you watch him toy with himself, moaning your name. gosh, you never knew a man's moans could be so... addicting. you could already feel heat building in your core.

you watch simon fist his cock a couple more times before his cum drenches his hand and the chair under him. you grin and decide this is the time to speak up, "you enjoy yourself?"

simon felt his heart drop and he turned to look at you. his soft cock now going hard again by the sight of you. he let out a fit of sorry's and of course the dumbest like any man could say, 'it isn't what it looks like'.

"cut the bullshit, simon. you were jerking off, moaning my name. the fuck is it meant to look like?"

he looked away in shame and embarrassment. "and you know what makes it worse?"

he looks up at you, noticing the digested expression on your face. "your cock is getting hard again. you fucking pervert."

"i-i'm s-sor-... a-ah!!"

his eyes widened when your hand wraps around his cock. he let's out a groan when you pull the uncut foreskin down to see his angry leaking tip. "fucking disgusting. you're getting off by this!?"

blood rushes to simon's face and he let's out a croaky moan when your thumb traces across his tip, collecting his pre-cum. you slip your thumb into your mouth, the salty flavour lingering on your tongue. he watched you carefully, his breathy unsteady and his cock twitched a bit. "you're such a fucking pervert. you enjoying this, letting your roommate, your bully, play with your cock like this?"

he avoids your gaze causing you to dig your pretty, manicured nails into thigh, "answer me simon."

he lets out a pained groan and nods, "y-yes.."

you move hand to wrap his cock again and you begin jerking off his cock, his previous orgasm presenting as lube to help you guide your hand up and down his length. you watch as his head rolls back onto the of his gaming chair and his face contort into pleasure. you kiss your lips against his tip and he tenses up.

you grin, and you slip the head of his cock into your mouth and swirl your tongue around it and watch as simon's eyes close from the pleasure. you tongue teases the slit of his cock, taking pleasure in the salty taste of his pre-cum.

he groans and starts blabbering about how he's gonna cum. he opens his eyes to see your pretty half lidded eyes looking up at him through your lashes. you slip your mouth off his tip and pump his cock a lot quicker, hoping for more of his creamy white. instead you were met with loud groans and tiny droplets of cum. you look up at him again to see how breathy he was and you immediately start bursting out laughing.

"fuck me! you're so out of breathe and you only gave me, what, two, three fucking drops of cum? how embarrassing."

your laughter was humiliating enough, but now a whole sentence about it? he felt the heat rush up to his face in embarrassment, but what was then embarrassment was now lust.

he whines and watches as your tongue swirl around his tip again. tears building up his eyes from the sensitivity, and you slowly start taking him deeper into your mouth, and that's when waterworks come out. he wasn't fully crying, just a couple of tears from the painful pleasure, that's all.

you hear sniffles and sobs and you look up to see simon crying and you never felt so turned on in your life. how fucking cute. you take your mouth off of his cock and you give him the most smug grin ever. "are you fucking serious?! you're crying? oh my fucking god."

a full-blown laugh erupts from your lips. not again. he watches you slowly call down and stop laughing, and he notices something different about your expression. sure, lust was still there, but there was a tint of sadism there now. fuck. are you getting turned on by this!?

he doesn't even get the chance to say or think about it before you're already deepthroating him. he let's out a loud groan, tears leaking out of his eyes now. he can't help it, it feels so painfully good and the pleasures to much. you nose was nuzzled against his pubes and bop your head up and down and you are delighted to hear his pornagraphic moans and groabs and again as he cums. you were delivered with the same tiny droplets of cum.

you take your mouth off of his cock again, "fuck. the same orgasm from before how pathetic."

he couldn't even pay attention, too, out of this world to say or do anything. he was taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself down but he let out a strained and choked moan to feel your wetness engulfing his cock. his eyes open and he looks down to see your pretty lacey red panties pushed to the side. he watches as your wet cunt slips his onto his cock with greed.

he groans at the feeling and he can't help the tears anymore. he doesn't care, he gives up, letting himself cry. his tears blur up his vision and he focuses on the feeling of your gorgeous warmth sucking his cock in until it was kissing your cervix. you slowly start bouncing on his cock and he's gone at this point.

eyes rolled to the back of his head and his head again resting against the head of his chair again. the chair creaks as you ride him. your moans being music to his ears. you place kisses all over his neck, smothering it in love bites and hickeys.

you feel his hands wrap around your waist, and you watch the state he's in. messy hair, eyes rolled to the back of his head, hickeys all over his neck. it's so fucking cute. "you're so fucking weak, what kind of man are you? a weak one at that. you're such a fucking crybaby."

you feel his cock twitch slightly at your words and you mouth shifts into a sadistic smirk, "you like that, getting called weak? a crybaby? a fucking man whore?"

you feel his cock twitch again, "f-fuck... you do... a-ah~... you do like that."

you feel your orgasm approaching and you pick up the speed. soon enough, you both have each other screaming each other's names. you squirting and simon finally delivering you that delicious creamy white you were so desperate for. you slowly slip off of his cock, your mixed orgasm now leaking onto the chair them the floor.

at this point, simon was so drained. his cock slowly going limp. his eyes start going droopy, tired from you two's sessions. his eyes closed and all his can remember is your soft lips against his then you saying,

"goodnight simon."

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･*

extra side note: may or may not have gotten carried away 😔. um, please tell me if this was good because i feel as if i waffled way to hard😰 and that it's shit. i know it's probably gonna get barely any like as most of my post now but whatever. at least i tried 😛😛 also took me 2-3 fucking hours to do and it may not look like it but oh well, yolo. 😽

wanna know more about me —> here

masterlist —> here

#🎀 — 𝑶𝑩𝑺𝑬𝑺𝑺𝑬𝑫 #cod ghost #cod ghost smut #cod ghost x reader #cod ghost x you #simon riley #simon riley smut #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley smut #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you

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springseasonie · 1 year

Text

To New Friends | JJH (M)

Corporate AU, Strangers to lovers (?), Younger Jaehyun x older fem reader

Summary: You really hate having to go to formal events. The people, environment, joverall experience is never pleasant. Having to constantly deal with being undermined as a woman and CEO is something no one should have to deal with, but here you are, forced to deal with it anyway. You were sure your night would be horrible, that is until you bumped into Jaehyun, who not only happened to be a new face, but just your type.

Warnings: sexual content, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, oral (male and fem receiving), snowballing, cum eating, spit, sexism/misogyny, harassment (if you would call it that, proof read but may contain errors my bad y'all)

Word count: 5,3 k

Song recs: perfume, kiss by NCT djj, on the way by Jhene Aiko

A/N: been a bit obsessed with Jaehyun and wanted to write about him. Got a bit carried away a bit too delusional so this is the product of that. This is pure filth I'm so sorry. Feedback is loved and appreciated

Charity events were never really your thing. The pleasantries, snobby sexist businessmen, and their annoying wives. You always hated them. All of them were just ways for rich narcissists to make it seem like they had compassion, but everyone knew it was just as fucked up as anything else. None of these people ever cared for the cause, just how much they were putting into it.

However, the hardest thing about these events is being a successful single woman. You take pride in not being taken although people your age tell you it's about time you settle down and start a family. You don't really like the idea of not working and giving up a career you worked hard for over some snotty nose kid and a man who probably would cheat on you anyway. It's an extremely pessimistic way of looking at marriage, but you couldn't help it, especially seeing how all of your friends' relationships are at the moment.

But sometimes, you did wish you had an interesting life, like right now. Right now you were stuck in a conversation with 2 CEOs and their wives going on and on about their children in private schools across the globe. You twirled your drink in your glass leaning on your elbow as you stood across from them.

"But Y/N..you aren't looking for anyone right now," Rosé asked. She was the wife of a powerful man who owned one of the biggest tech companies in the world. She was also the fakest person you've ever met. You didn't like her and thank God the feeling was mutual.

"No, I'm not. I prefer to focus on working right now," you answered. You sipped your drink without breaking eye contact with her. She knew exactly what she was doing, constantly trying to embarrass you.

"You said that last time honey. Don't you want to..rest for a while? Find someone to take care of you? I mean, you're beautiful, so it shouldn't be too hard," she replied.

"I like working. And I can take care of myself." The table got quiet, sensing the attitude you didn't mean to let slip out. "Anyway, I'm going to go greet other guests. Have a good night."

Just as you turned around, you practically walked into a wall of a man, spilling your drink on your off-white dress.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry," he said. It was a voice you didn't recognize. You looked up at him, surprised at the handsome sight your eyes were met with. He was blonde and tall. His voice was a bit deep for his appearance.

"It's.. it's okay," you said, trying not to show how irritated you were.

"I'll go get something for you to clean up with." He turned around and walked away quickly. You watched him as he begged the kitchen staff for napkins, ears red from the embarrassment. When he came back, he handed them to you with both hands.

'Polite,' you thought to yourself. "Thank you," you said, flashing him a quick smile. "I'm Y/N by the way. It's nice to meet you."

"I'm Jaehyun," he said, watching you wipe your dress. "Do you come to these things often?"

"These events? Well, I have to, considering my job. But If I'm gonna be honest, I don't really like them," you said, whispering at the end of your statement.

Jaehyun chuckled softly, looking down at you. "Tell me about it. I can't stand these things either."

"At least we have something in common. Well, it was nice to meet you Jaehyun," you said with a small smile. You walked away before letting him respond, almost as if you were running away from the conversation. He was handsome, a little too handsome, and really well-spoken too. And for the first time, someone finally spoke to you like a regular person. But of course, you didn't want to give him the impression that you were trying to flirt when he was just being nice. That's what you tell yourself all the time - that they're just trying to be nice - no matter how many times they ask you for your number or ask you on dates.

No one knew, but another reason you didn't want to get married is that you had no interest in having a trophy husband. Most men who try and get with you are often just looking for someone to sink their manipulative claws into. They thought that because you're beautiful and rich, you must've killed an old husband for it. But whenever you tell them about how you busted your ass since your teenage years to get where you are, they're no longer interested. You aren't well known amongst your run-of-the-mill businessmen, so they take you as a joke until they actually google you. You found it comical how many of them text you saying they were sorry and begging you to go out with them again. But after a while, dating and trying to talk to people really did become exhausting, so you just decided to not do it anymore. And it's been that way for 4 years now.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Lee! How are you guys?" You shook both of their hands with a smile, trying to hide how much you wanted the interaction to be over.

"We're good. You know we just had another kid," Taeyong announced.

"Oh really? Congratulations!"

"Thank you..and I see you're here alone again unless that," Irene said pointing to the wet stain on your dress," was made by someone I assume."

"Oh, this? I bumped into someone, that's all," you answered. You were sure they knew you were getting more and more annoyed with how Taeyong's eyes shifted between you and his wife.

"A shame. I was almost excited to see someone here with you but alas..the ice queen will never melt." Irene's eyes were always judgmental. You knew she thought she was better than you with all her expensive dresses and jewelry, constantly trying to flaunt her possessions and family in front of you and other people.

'What a bitch,' you thought to yourself. You flash her a small smile, twirling the drink from your glass. "I do hope you guys have a good night, and I hope you figure out your son's scandal. Buying test scores isn't something I'd want to be accused of."

You walked off seeing Irene's ticked-off expression. 'Serves that bitch right.' Taking a sip of your champagne, you spotted Jaehyun talking to a group of men, some of whom have tried to get with you in the past. You shouldn't have stared but you couldn't help it. He was the first man you actually found yourself attracted to out of all the single men in these events. You watched and sipped your drink, staring at him as he laughed and smiled. 'He has dimples?' you caught yourself thinking. "I need a stronger drink." Just as you were about to walk away, the one person you didn't want to see spotted you.

Jaehyun motioned for you to come to him from across the room. Being the nice person you are, you walked up to him and the other men. "Hey," you said, glancing at the group of them awkwardly.

"I know we just met but I wanted to introduce you to some of my friends," he said.

"We've.. already met before," you laugh awkwardly.

"Yeah. She's not very nice," Mingyu commented. His eyes went from your face to your cleavage which was showing a bit in the low-cut dress. "But who needs to be nice when you're dressed like that?"

Mingyu and the other men snickered at your fading smile, nudging each other to look at your expression. Jaehyun took notice, clearing his throat and gaining their attention. "Guys, chill out."

"Or what, she can't take a little joke?" Mingyu scoffed and sipped his drink, staring at you, daring you to say something. Little did he know you weren't scared of anyone, and you certainly wouldn't be embarrassed by anyone either.

"You know what? Yeah, it was a bit funny," you said nodding. "You wanna know what else is funny?"

Mingyu raised his brow, clicking his tongue. "I'm listening."

"I think it's funny how you had to close 5 of your 15 stores already because of how poorly they're doing." You covered your face letting out a fake laugh. All the men looked at you, none of them amused anymore, especially Mingyu. "What's with the serious faces? I thought we were telling jokes."

"You're miserable really," he said, turning away from you, and walking away. "No wonder no one wants you. You're gonna end up dying alone."

"As long as it's not with you." You let out a big sigh as he and his other friends got farther away from you. You've always had a sharp tongue and quick remarks never letting anyone catch you off guard. It was something you had to learn for survival in the corporate world, especially as a woman.

"I'm really sorry about him," Jaehyun said, tongue poking his cheek in annoyance.

You turned to him, surprised to see he was still there. "Oh no, don't apologize. You seem so nice. Why are you friends with people like that anyway?"

"I'm a bit new to stuff like this," he admitted. "I've never been in an environment with such successful people, so I just became friends with anybody."

You chuckled softly at his words, finding his naiveness endearing. "If you want advice from someone who's been here for a while, I'd say don't become friends with just anyone."

"And what if I wanna be your friend?"

You look at him immediately being faced with his dimples. 'Gosh, he's cute.' "Then I'd be grateful," you said.

He raised his glass, fixing his suit jacket with his other hand, proposing a toast. "To making new friends?"

You clung your glass with him with a smile nodding. "To making new friends."

It's been 2 hours since the event started and usually at this point you would've gone home, but this was unfortunately the most important event of the year, so you had to stay. If you didn't, you would probably get a very angry email from the board of your company again, and you didn't feel like dealing with any of that.

In situations like this, you usually went outside, but the location of this event was a million-dollar penthouse. Thankfully, there was a balcony with a pool that too many people were afraid they would fall into. You were leaning on the ledge of the glass fence staring out into the view of the city. Even at night, it looked like daytime. No one stopped for anything or anyone, always fast-paced no matter what. If you knew that's what your life would look like years ago, you probably would've just pursued something lowkey. But you worked hard and weren't going to stop now.

"You been out here for a long time?"

You turned around to see Jaehyun walking up to you. He held his suit jacket in his arm, his other hand stuffed in his pocket. He was buff, buttons straining against his chest. You gulped, not being able to control your obvious staring. 'How was he hiding all that under his suit,' you thought to yourself.

"No, just for a couple of minutes. It gets kind of suffocating sometimes," you admitted.

Jaehyun came up next to you, leaning on the fence as he stared into the city lights. He had such a well-defined face, a jawline sharper than diamonds. He's probably the most handsome man you've ever seen. If you had more to drink, you'd probably fall right into his lap by now.

"I feel you. What..do you do by the way," he asked, looking away from the view and at you.

"I own Jasmine Marketing Company," you answered. Your company is one of the most famous marketing companies in the country, and you basically did it all by yourself. Being a woman in her mid-30s with an establishment as big as this one is rare, but you happened to do it. You don't like to announce who you are because people treat you differently, but you don't mind doing it if you have to put someone in their place.

Jaehyun's eyes went wide, a smirk tugging at his lips. "Woah..didn't expect that."

"Why? Did you think I was gonna say something like 'Oh I'm blah blah's wife' or that I own some fashion brand," you joked.

"Oh, no. I didn't mean it like that." He panicked, letting out a big sigh before looking down at his feet. Jaehyun's head shot up when he heard you laugh, voice lighting up the quiet balcony.

"I was just kidding. I know you didn't mean it that way, it's okay," you said, comforting him.

Jaehyun smiled, letting out a laugh in disbelief. "Goodness, you are really something," he commented, a bit more relaxed.

You turned your body to him, arm leaning on the railing for support. Jaehyun might've been nice and well-mannered, but on the surface, he was just a man. It was taking everything in him to not look at your chest. Being the smart woman you are, you notice it. "It's okay. I won't get mad at you," you said quietly.

"W-what are you talking about?" Jaehyun gulped, biting his lip nervously.

"I mean.." you took a step closer to him, so close he could smell your floral scent perfume. "You can look. I won't get mad."

It wasn't like you to be this bold, but after a couple of glasses of champagne and constantly being talked to by people you didn't like, the least you could do was treat yourself to the nervous new guy.

Jaehyun chuckled softly, trying to cover up how flustered he was. "I'm not gonna fall for that." Jaehyun would like to think of himself as a smart man. He knows what he should do and what he shouldn't despite being given permission to do so. He's dealt with many women but none like you. You're confident and quick, but never let your guard down. And that's how you wanted to keep it.

You smirked, turning back to lean on the railing. "I like you Jaehyun," you commented. "Most men would look, and then proceed to think that means they could touch me. It's annoying."

"Well, I'm not like most men."

You smiled, moving your hair from your face. "You know, it's kind of rare to see a fresh face among all these old people," you admitted. "For the first time in a while, I can say I had a little fun tonight."

Maybe, just maybe, there was something here right now, between the 2 of you. It's so cliche. He bumps into you making you spill your drink over your dress, defends you from his annoying friends, and is now talking to you instead of making connections at a charity event. He's handsome with pretty blonde hair and nice dimples, and a body to go with it too. This night was almost too perfect for you. You hadn't felt a spark with anyone for a very long time, not wanting to get with just anyone.

"Why? Because of me," he asked, joking. Jaehyun's smile dropped a bit when you nodded.

"What do you do, if you don't mind me asking," you asked.

"I'm the CEO of Jeong Enterprises," he answered.

"Really," you asked, a bit shocked. "But you're so.."

"Young? Yeah I know. Took over for my father a couple of years back," he answered with a sigh.

You know Mr. Jeong, but you never met his son. He's a nice man with very strong values, always talking about how much he loves his family, and how much he wants them to succeed. Years ago, he got sick and hasn't been able to manage the company head-on. Mr. Jeong said he was going to appoint a new CEO, but you never would've guessed it was his son.

"It's not as easy as people make it look. I mean having to pick up from where he started was hard, but I would say I've done a pretty good job," he admitted, a small smile on his face.

"You have."

Jaehyun looked at you, mouth a bit open trying to form a response but failing. You couldn't help but glance at his lips, then his neck, and trail your eyes down his body. You were sure he noticed, but he could pick up a hint right? But maybe he couldn't, so maybe you should apply some more pressure.

"For someone who doesn't come to these things often, you look great," you complimented.

"Oh, thank you. You look..great too," he said, nodding his head as he looked away from you.

"Great? That's all I get?"

"Well you look beautiful," he said, trying to change his words.

"So you think I'm beautiful," you teased. You gave him a small laugh seeing how flustered he was. "Well, I think you're very handsome."

Jaehyun watched you intently as you took a step towards him, looking at him with doe eyes. He gulped, not really knowing what to do. He had a feeling you were going to try and do something reckless, and by the time he could say no, he would already have done it.

"You're too kind," he said, shaking his hair from his face.

"Goodness, you're cute. I wanted to keep the flirting to a minimum but I can't help it. You're really something," you said. All that was happening at the moment was a bad case of word vomit, but you really couldn't stop yourself. It'd been a long time since you were this attracted to a person, so you had to let it be known.

Jaehyun gave you a small chuckle looking at you as he licked his lips, brushing his hair back. Jaehyun really didn't know if he should give in to your advances knowing you were probably saying all of this because of how many drinks you had, but after all, he is just a man. "Well, people don't usually find me cute after first meeting me, so you're a first."

"What do they usually say?"

"They say I look like I'm great in bed." Jaehyun eyed you, gaze shifting from pleasant to lustful in less than a second. Your lips curled into a smile as you cocked your head to the side.

"Well..are you?"

"There's only one way to find out." To anyone who might've been looking at the both of you from afar, it looked like you were having a normal conversation. But the tension between you and him was so thick, it would probably startle some people you know. Your presence was so dominating to him, but you liked how he wasn't intimidated by you.

"I didn't think you had it in you. You were so shy and careful a couple of minutes ago. What happened to that," you teased.

"Trust me, I have a lot of things in me you don't know about." His voice was low, sending a shiver down your spine, right to your core. Goodness, he was hot. You're surprised he never got into a love scandal with the way he's talking to you.

"Would it be unprofessional of me to say I would like to find out?" By this point, you were definitely too far gone to back off now. It was a bit unlike you - the woman who kept all her ducks in one row - to fuck someone the night she met them, but Jaehyun was too good to be true. It's rare to come across someone who's exactly your type, so you can't let this go to waste.

"I'd like you to find out," he answered.

You stepped closer, chest in his as you leaned into his ear. "Meet me upstairs in 15 minutes," you whispered and walked away. Jaehyun watched you, the click of your heels getting further and further as you walked back inside.

Jaehyun attached his hands to your waist, holding you firmly as you wrapped your arms around his neck. "I hope you don't mind the lipstick," you muttered.

Your lips smashed onto his as you pressed him against the wall, holding his face in your hands. Jaehyun tugged off his suit jacket, throwing it somewhere on the floor beside you. The light was low in the room, the only source of light coming from the moonlight shining through the gigantic window of the empty room. Your lipstick was probably all over his face by now, so there was no way either one of you was coming out of this room unscathed.

He pulled away from you, planting kisses on your neck. He lowered his hands in response, cupping your ass firmly as you moaned softly. You removed your arms from his neck and loosen his tie wanting to see more of him. He inhaled the scent of your perfume, taking in everything about you all at once.

"I want you in my mouth. How does that sound," you asked, eyes closed in pleasure.

"Sounds like heaven." Jaehyun lifted his head, letting go of you as you sunk onto your knees. His eyes never left your hands as you unbuckled his belt, hands moving fast and clumsily. Jaehyun couldn't help but smile. He's been with a lot of women, but no one older. He always felt like older women weren't his type, but here he was about to get blown off by one.

You unzipped his slacks, tugging his neatly tucked shirt out of the fabric. You tugged his clothes down quickly, unable to hide your excitement when you saw his hardened length.

"Fuck," you mumbled. You grabbed his length, stroking it slowly, and bit your lip. Looking up at him, you swore his eyes rolled back from the simple touch. Jaehyun's eyes never left yours as you started to stroke him faster.

You kissed the tip of his length, tongue softly digging into the slit. Jaehyun let out a low grunt, brows furrowing at the sudden feeling. You removed your hand slowly as you sunk his length into your mouth. You bobbed your head, staring into his pretty brown eyes. Your hand gripping the hem of your dress nails sinking into your palms through the thin fabric.

Jaehyun's hand reached the back of your head, following your rhythm. Your cheeks hollowed as you sucked him harder, moaning softly.

"You're so pretty on your knees," he muttered. His eyes were glossed with pleasure, unable to care about the many voices and footsteps that come a little too close to the door. "I bet it'd turn you on even more if someone happens to walk in here."

You whined softly in response. You bobbed your head faster brows furrowing at how full your mouth was. Pleasuring him was turning you on even more, so when you opened your legs and crept your hands under your dress, Jaehyun was in absolute awe. You weren't wearing anything underneath and he could tell how easy it was for you to start fingering yourself. You pumped your fingers in and out of you matching the pace of your bobbing head.

Jaehyun moaned softly, mouth falling slightly as you moved your head faster. His eyes shifted from your face to your hands stuffed between your legs not knowing where to look. You pulled your mouth off of him slowly, droll falling down your chin, the only thing connecting you to him being a string of spit.

"Cum on my chest," you said, voice a bit raspy.

Jaehyun grabbed himself, stroking his length quickly. His soft moans turned into gentle whines. The scene was right out of a movie, him standing over you moaning as you touched yourself on your knees in front of him - so many people would pay to see it. Jaehyun's brows furrowed, throwing his head back feeling closer and closer to his orgasm. "Fuck, oh my god."

And with that, he came all over your chest, the hot sticky liquid staining your skin. Your lips curled into a smile as you bit your lip, still pumping your fingers in and out of your core. You pulled them out of you slowly and came to your knees. You never looked away as you stuck your fingers in his mouth, watching him as he sucked your arousal off your fingers.

"That's so fucking hot," you said, a smirk on your face. "And you even managed to keep my dress clean."

He took your fingers out of his mouth, letting out a soft chuckle. "I don't know if it'll still be clean when I'm finished with you."

"So finish me."

Jaehyun couldn't control himself when he pushed you into the wall and pulled up your tight dress. His lips attached themselves to your neck, leaving wet sloppy kisses all over your skin. "Fuck, you smell so good," he groaned. Jaehyun was in way too deep with you now, his tongue gliding from your neck to your chest.

If you had underwear on, they would probably be soaked by now. You watched him as he licked up his own cum, immediately kissing you right after. You couldn't get enough of the taste of his arousal as you kissed him moaning softly into his mouth.

"Don't wear a condom," you mumbled on his lips.

"Wasn't planning to." Jaehyun lifted your body, pinning you on the wall. You wrapped your arms around him, legs being held by him. You let out a breathy moan feeling yourself sinking into his length.

"Jesus Christ," you moaned quietly. Jaehyun held you with a strong grip on your thighs, so strong you were sure they would leave prints. He rocked his hips into you slowly, every moment bringing out a small groan from him.

"God, you're so big," you whispered, a smile spreading across your face in pleasure.

Jaehyun chuckled softly, kissing your neck. You looked so pretty to him, face lit up by the moonlight moaning his name. Your smile lights up your whole face, too perfect to look away from. He wanted to wipe that smile off your face. He wanted to fuck you so good, you wouldn't even be able to talk.

Your hand tangled in his hair as he fucked you slow against the wall, a small gasp escaping your lips with every thrust. Your lipstick is all over every part it shouldn't be, but that's what made this even better. The thrill of doing something you weren't. As much of a rule follower you were, you've always enjoyed breaking the rules sometimes, even if it was as risky as this. And fortunately for you, this was one rule Jaehyun broke with you.

Jaehyun thrust into you faster, making your body bounce at the same pace. The smile faded, and your jaw dropped at the pleasure that shot through your body. "That's it," he cooed. "It feels good doesn't it?"

"Y-yeah," you moaned out quietly.

"You take me so well baby." The praise made you go crazy, making you nod your head fast. You could barely form a coherent sentence at this point, not when he was fucking you this good. With every movement, your sensitive bud brushed against his skin making your head spin. You leaned in, kissing him deeply, tongues tangling with each other. You clenched around him, making him moan against your lips. "Fuck.."

"I'm so close," you whined against his lips. All that could be heard in the room was the sound of skin slapping and the sound of your soft moans.

"Can you wait for me?"

You shook your head, unable to form a coherent sentence. You looked down at where the both of you were connected, mind unable to focus on anything else. "Jaehyun..fuck I'm so close.."

"You're doing so good," he breathed out. "Just a bit more."

"F-fuck I can't.." You whined loudly feeling your entire body tense up under his touch. You clenched around him as you came, making him moan softly into your neck.

Jaehyun kept fucking into you, feeling himself coming closer and closer to his orgasm. He gripped your hips legs harder as he fucked into you at an unsteady pace. Soon enough, he threw his head back, brows furrowed, biting his lip to keep the loud groan from reaching the ears of the people outside the door as he came inside you. Feeling weak, Jaehyun put you back onto your feet carefully, the sound of breathing and your heels clicking on the floor filling the room. But before you could even register what just happened, Jaehyun disappeared right in front of you, dropping to his knees.

"W-what are you doing," you whispered softly.

"I'm not done." Jaehyun's voice was tired and raspy, sweat dripping down his forehead. He grabbed your leg, throwing it over his shoulder. Jaehyun wasted no time attaching his mouth to your core looking up at you with lust filled eyes. He lapped licked and sucked your clit hard, lapping up the mixture of both of your arousal.

You could barely stand how badly he was abusing your sensitive bud. You leaned against the wall trying to keep your balance as Jaehyun gripped your hips. "Oh my god," you whimpered, breathy moans sounding like music to his ears. Everything was overstimulating you, the feeling of his tongue, the eye contact - the sounds he was making - it was driving you crazy.

"Shit, I'm gonna cum." Your breathing was so loud, you were basically heaving trying to keep yourself from moaning too loud.

"Cum, and keep those pretty eyes on me." Jaehyun moaned as he licked you up, his half opened eyes never leaving you. Your jaw dropped, a gasp that was a little too loud leaving your mouth reaching the ears of someone outside as soon as you came.

"What was that," you heard someone ask.

You clasped your hand over your mouth in an attempt to muffle whatever noises were coming out as he lapped up your arousal. Jaehyun removed your leg from his shoulder, holding you so your weak body wouldn’t fall. You gulped as he removed your hand from your mouth, not knowing what he was about to do next.

"Open up." Jaehyun grabbed your jaw and brushed his finger against your lip. A smirk was plastered on his face as he let a ball of cum and saliva fall from his tongue and onto yours, his smirk becoming wider when you let out a soft whine. "Swallow."

Eyes never leaving your, he watched you so what he said, kissing you right after. He held your face in his hands while kissing you passionately.

"That was..fucking amazing," you mumbled on his lips.

"You were amazing." He moved his hands from your face, moving them directly to your ass. "That was the most fun I've had in ages."

"That was the most fun I've had in my life," you replied, chuckling softly. "I thought you were bluffing when you said you were good."

"Yeah, I might've gotten a bit carried away." Jaehyun's eyes scanned over your body taking in the mess he made of you at the very formal event. "I'm sorry for that," he said, glancing at your cleavage.

"I'm sorry about the lipstick everywhere," you said laughing softly at the red smeared all over his face. "I don't know how we're gonna make it out of here."

"I could always give you my jacket and we can make a run for it," he joked.

You shook your head, wrapping your arms around his neck with a smile. "I think I'd like to stay here for a little bit longer. I hate these events."

Jaehyun kissed you softly, nipping at your lip. "Round 2? I don't think you can keep up with me."

"I'm better at showing you than telling you."

"So show me."

#nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct fanfic #nct smut #nct x reader #nct oneshot #nct imagines #nct jaehyun #jaehyun #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun scenarios #nct scenarios #jaehyun smut #jaehyun x reader

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daydreaming-nerd · 1 month

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Young Love and Old Money (Cassian x Female! Reader) Part 9

Young Love and Old Money Masterlist

AN: Okay remember when I said there would be a lot more angst? Well here we are. We have arrived at angst station, everybody off the train. This part is so dramatic I really laid it on thick here. Regardless I hope you enjoy and I will try to get part 10 up ASAP!!!

Summary: She was the most beautiful woman in Prythian, sister to the High Lord of Night, and now she is the soon-to-be wife of Eris Vanserra. Despite her many titles and her aura of unattainability, Cassian can't help but fall deeply in love with the princess of the Night Court. But will it be enough to stop her impending wedding to a man who is sure to destroy her from the inside out?

Warnings: Sexism, super heavy angst, this got really dark, violence, blood, implied rape (but not described), did I mention violence?, (I'm sorry you guys.)

Word Count: 6,333

The next morning I wake up in my own bed and I don’t move for hours.

Thankfully, after about an hour of crying by the Sidra, Azriel found me and took me back to the House of Wind. Apparently Cassian had sent him, which gave me a little bit of hope. That is until I went to his door and found his room empty. According to Azriel he left for Windhaven after returning home to pack a bag. I didn’t need to interrogate further to know that Cassian wouldn’t be back before the wedding.

I spent the entire day before the wedding in bed, staring at the sliver of light on the floor that the curtains let into the darkened room. Everytime I close my eyes I could hear Cassian and I’s laughter, which made me unable to fall asleep. When I wasn’t reminiscing over memories of Cassian I was listening intently to the sounds of the house, hoping I would hear his heavy boots thudding back to his room. I just wanted to see him one last time.

However, those footsteps never came, and I found myself staring at the wall until my body gave up on me, from either exhaustion or hunger and I fell asleep.

Cassian’s pov:

The second I landed in Windhaven I cracked open a bottle of whiskey and downed a glass praying it would allow me to sleep. Of course I was wrong.

The entire night I saw images of y/n holding that little girl in her arms. God I had practically melted right then and there, thinking about what she would look like holding our own children. How adorable they would be with their tiny wings.

My sleepless night had carried over with me the next day, everything and everyone putting me on edge. A young Illyrian had dropped their sword while sparring and I blew up at him. Devlon tried to argue that the females shouldn’t be training and I nearly slammed his head into a wall.

I was aggressively sharpening my swords on the edge of the sparring ring when Azriel found me, my brother simply nodded his head towards the center as if to say “blow off some steam big fella.” I couldn’t turn him down, as he was the only one who could give me a run for my money, and today he sure did.

“You fight like shit and you look like shit too brother,” Azriel barked after beating me again. He tossed his sword to the ground seemingly calling it quits for the day.

“Yeah well my mate is about to marry another male in the next 12 hours so how did you expect to find me?” I gripe at him taking my seat on a weathered rock.

“I suppose I wouldn’t know what to do in your situation either,” he admitted, taking a seat next to me.

“Seems about right for me. Grew up a bastard and lived in the mud till you and Rhys’ sorry asses came along. Lost my mother and never even got to bury her, fought for 500 years, and then became mated to the princess, who is marrying another male.” I scoff, shaking my head at the ridiculousness. “I’ll give the mother one thing, at least she’s consistent.”

Azriel was quiet for a moment, as if taking in what I had said before clapping a hand on my back, “The pain, it will go away Cass. It will take time, but I will be there with you every step of the way.” he assured me, and for a moment I felt a little lighter.

“Get wasted with me tomorrow?” I ask more seriously than I should.

“You know I will,” he said, offering me a slight smile.

I hoped that Rhys had gotten some more whiskey since the last time I raided his cabinet, because I don’t think any amount of drink could make me forget the way she looked at me the first morning we woke up together. The way she would laugh when I kissed her cheeks, the feeling of her delicate hands running soap over my wings. How she would say “you need a bath!” when I would give her a sweaty hug after training. The face she made when I distracted her from one of her romance novels by tickling her feet that rested in my lap.

By the cauldron, I was a dead man.

y/n's pov:

Stepping into the Autumn Court felt like I was walking to my own execution. Instead of Eris being at the end of that aisle there would be a guillotine. I almost wished for that instead. Any comment made by Rhys about how I seemed tired I chalked up to pre-wedding nerves and thankfully he didn’t push after that.

The entire morning had been spent poking and prodding at my skin, my hair and my eyes. If I thought that Nuala and Cerridwen were meticulous I was sorely mistaken. The ladies of the Autumn Court didn’t mess around and if this was my life going forward (which sadly it was), cauldron boil me.

The ladies in wait primped me up until a half an hour before I walked down the aisle. I had to literally commande them out of my suite in order to have a moment alone. I sat staring at myself in the floor length mirror. For what it was worth, I looked beautiful. I half expected the dress that was chosen for me to be awful and gaudy, however it was elegant. The lace along the neckline mimicking the flames associated with Eris’ power. Had I been walking down the aisle to a different groom, I might venture to say that I was excited to be married. However as I stared at myself in my white wedding dress I couldn’t help but feel a tear slide down my face.

A tentative knock reverberated through the room, nearly making me jump out of my skin. I took a deep breath and wiped away a stray tear.

“Come in,” I said with shaky words looking at the double oak doors through the mirror before me.

The door opened slowly, whoever it was looking around the room before entering. A large figure finally popped it’s head in, eyes finding me immediately. I would know that jet black hair anywhere.

Cassian.

I whirled around to meet his gaze as he shut the door, taking slow and tentative steps towards me. His eyes searched my face for any hint of anger or resentment.

“Cass,” I breathed, as if to assure myself he was really there.

“You look beautiful,” he smiled looking me up and down, but I could see the veiled sadness on his face. He was putting on a front, and a bad one at that.

“Thank you,” I say, taking a tentative step towards him. “How did you get in here?”

“They don’t have you that well guarded,” he chuckled, stepping closer till he stood before me. Neither of us reached for one another, unsure of where we both stood. It felt wrong not to instantly wrap my arms around him. “I don’t like where we left things,” he continued.

“Neither do I,”

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I yelled at you that night. I’m sorry about the things I said,” he starts again. His hands reach for mine but pull back as if afraid to touch me. “I wanted to say that I understand now. And that I think you are incredibly brave to be doing this for Velaris. I’ll never be happy that you’re marrying Eris, and I’ll always wish it was me. But I understand now, and I respect the love you have for your people, and the lengths you’re willing to go to to keep them safe. Will you forgive me?”

I feel the stray tear pricking my eye once more, “There was never anything to forgive Cass. I was more upset with myself for giving you false hope. For going along and loving you and acting like things were going to be alright when I couldn’t guarantee it.” I sigh, casting my head down, unable to face him.

I feel his gentle calloused hand tip my chin up to meet his gaze. His eyes, that beautiful hazel, glassed over. Despite it all, despite what I put him through, there is still so much love in them, and I know I’ll never really deserve it.

“Loving you was the greatest gift I’ve ever known, and ever will know,” he smiles as if he’s remembering the short time we did have together. “I’ll be here waiting if you should ever change your mind or in case something ever happens.”

“Cass,” I start to protest but he stops me.

“I’ve loved you for so many years y/n. There can be no one else but you. If I don’t get to have you until we are both old and gray so be it. I’ve waited this long,” he assures me cupping my cheek.

I don’t even have words to reply to his confession. Boundaries be damned. I threw myself around him pulling him as close as possible. His arms tighten around me like he had been waiting for me to make a move. In the embrace there’s an understanding, an unsaid agreement.

I back away to see those hazel eyes once more, my own eyes raking over his body. I notice he’s not dressed in a fine suit jacket, or even his fighting leathers. Instead, he’s donning a loose fitted shirt, something completely unfit for a royal wedding.

“You’re not staying are you?” I ask, pressing a hand to his stubbled cheek that tells me he didn’t shave this morning.

“No, I just had to see you one last time,” he answers, taking my hand from his cheek so he could hold both of them.

The weight of his words shoot right through me, and as I look at him, I let them sink in. I watched as a tear slid down his own cheek, it was the only time I had ever seen the general cry.

“One last time,” I repeated, letting the words consume me.

His eyes glanced down at my lips, a silent plea to taste them again,

“Can I?” he whispered.

“Gods yes,” I sigh.

A hand drifted up cupping my cheek and pulling me into a kiss. The last kiss we might ever share. I poured every ounce of love into it trying to give him something to remember me by, trying to savor every moment of it for when my days ahead were darkest. My chest heaved as if being pulled forward and then…

Snap.

It was as if a piece of me was returned, one I never knew I lost. I pulled back to meet his gaze and by the way he looked at me I could tell he knew, had known. I felt like I was truly seeing him for the first time as that shimmering golden bond glowed between us.

“You’re my-” I started but I jumped at the bang sounding throughout the room.

My eyes met the fiery auburn of Eris’ as he entered the room, at least twenty autumn court soldiers behind him. I didn’t have time to step away as he winnowed to me pulling me away from Cassian.

“You!” he seethed at my general who was already assessing the situation. “I had my suspicions but never the proof and you fell into my trap so easily.” he boasted.

My thoughts scrambled to what Cassian had said earlier…”They don’t have you that well guarded.”

“Restrain the bastard!” Eris ordered his grip on my arm tightening at the command.

“No!” I screamed lurching for Cassian but Eris hauled me back to him.

The soldiers were on him in an instant all of them falling like dominos before The Lord of Bloodshed. Cassian’s eyes blazed with a fury by the likes of which I had never seen before, he wasn’t a general protecting his princess. He was a male protecting his mate.

Eris’ body tensed behind mine as soldier after soldier fell. In an act of desperation I felt him unsheathe the dagger at his thigh, pressing the blade to my throat.

“Oh general,” Eris sang.

It was enough to catch Cassian’s attention for a split second, his eyes widening as he saw the position I was in. A rogue soldier used the small window of time to pull his dagger and stab it through Cassian’s side.

“NO!” I screamed as Cassian hissed, his knees hitting the floor. Immediately the rest of the soldiers were on him, restraining him and binding his wings. His siphons tried to come to light but sputtered out.

“Bloodbane,” Eris smiles, lowering the dagger from my throat. “Stings like a bitch doesn’t it?”

“Eris please, don’t do this. He’s my mate, I didn’t know until now and-”

“I would choose your next words very carefully, pet,” he cuts me off. “Right now your ‘mate’ has been stabbed with a dagger laced in bloodbane, which means that even if your dear brother did know he was here he couldn't communicate with him. As for Rhysand, he now sits in a wedding chapel completely unaware and unarmed with a bloodbane arrow aimed for his fucking throat. And last time I checked the only asset you had was a magic cunt.”

Cassain growled from the other side of the room at Eris’ vulgar words. My eyes flitted to where he was pulling against the restraints.

“However, I consider myself a merciful ruler,” Eris taunted, grabbing my face to meet his stare. “I’ll give you a choice. You either walk down that aisle, be a good little wife, and pop out a couple of heirs as promised, or you call off the wedding and I’ll gut your precious general where he kneels.”

“y/n, no!” Cassian gritted through bared teeth.

I watched my mate struggle to break free, the bloodbane in his system beginning to take over. I looked to Eris who stared at me with hungry eyes. I tried to think of some way out of this, but Eris was right. We had fallen right into this trap, and my hands were tied.

My gaze met Cassian who could read my face like a book, “I’m sorry Cassian, but I once told you that I could never live with myself if something happened to you and I had the power to stop it.” I turn to face Eris and his shit eating grin. “If you promise not to hurt him, or my brother, I will go with you.”

“You will submit to me fully?” Eris asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes,” I nod, my mind flashing back to when Rhys was in the same position.

Eris steps closer to me, tilting my head up in an act of dominance, his mouth too close to mine for comfort. I could hear Cassian’s grunts as he continued to try and break free.

“And you’ll warm my cock whenever I please?” he muses, clearly loving the control he has over me.

“Yes,” I grit.

He smiled triumphantly, releasing my chin as he turned to his guards, “Take him away and lock him in the dungeons.”

“You said-”

“When you walk down that aisle and say ‘I do’ then I shall send him back to the Night Court, Jewel of Prythian. I won’t be taking any chances.” Eris growls in my face before turning to Cassian who had now been brought to his feet. “If I ever see you in my court, or anywhere near my wife again Prince of Bastards, I will make sure that she pays the price.”

“You fucking bastard!” Cassian roars, body nearly limp from the bloodbane as he’s hauled off by the guards.

“Wait, let me say goodbye!” I cry running to him, but I’m yanked back by my arm so roughly it nearly pops out of its socket.

“Your obedience begins now!” Eris grits but I pay him no mind thrashing about in his grasp trying to touch my mate once last time as he disappears behind the oak doors.

“Cassian!” I scream for him, tears waterfalling over my eyes.

“y/n!” he shouts back.

But it’s too late. The doors close with a definite slam and I’m left weeping in Eris’ grasp as I hear the sounds of Cassian struggling down the hall.

Cassian’s pov:

Eris was right, the bloodbane hurt like a bitch. Even an hour later as I sat on the cold, wet floor of the Autumn Court cell, the toxin still made me feel lethargic. As if I had taken the world's strongest sleeping tonic.

The worst part of it all was that I could hear everything. The organ playing signaling that y/n was walking down the aisle and the cheers of the people as they finally said their vows. The worst and loudest of them all were the bells.

They rang with such clarity, and joy. The happy little melody could be heard from everyone in the Autumn Court, announcing that the Eris and y/n were finally wed. The ringing made me double over with grief, their sound a reminder that I was the only male in Prythian who could not protect his mate. A shame greater than being a bastard, and one I would carry with me until the end of my days.

Metal on metal screeched from somewhere in the dungeon as a light poured in. The jingling of keys and stomping of boots stopped at the door to my cell and I didn’t even bother to look up. Nothing mattered anymore anyways.

“Come on ‘Prince of Bastards’, time for you to go back to your own court,” the guard grumbled, like hauling me home was a huge inconvenience to him.

I rose to my feet and stepped languidly out of the door. The restraints on my wrists and wings were removed, the skin on my wrists rubbed raw from the blue stone shackles. I was led up the stairs to where the wards ended and was immediately winnowed to the border of the Autumn and Winter Court. The cold blizzards of winter whipping around us and chilling my wings.

“Prince Eris has asked me to remind you that you are now banished from this court. He also says that should you choose to seek out his wife once more you know what the consequences will be.” the guard relayed.

Before I could even think about punching the asshole square in his jaw he disappeared into thin air, no doubt going back to his post in the basement of the palace.

I was left with nothing but the sound of my own thoughts, and the feelings of my own guilt as I flew home towards the House of Wind where I knew Azriel was waiting. The flight was the longest one I had ever been on, as normally I took this route with y/n in my arms.

I had never been so happy to touch down on solid ground once more. Azriel tentatively walked out onto the balcony, two glasses of whiskey in hand. His shadows told him that something was very wrong.

“What the hell happened?” He asked, an alarm ringing in his voice.

The lump in my throat returns as I remember how it all went down. “The bond snapped for her, and she changed her mind. Eris found us, said he had set the whole thing up. I was stabbed with a bloodbane dagger,” I say, lifting my arm to assess the blood leaking from my side. “He told her that if she didn’t marry him he would gut me and Rhys.”

The next words teeter on my lips as I feel my eyes brimming with tears. It felt like pieces of me were being ripped out as I finally confessed to my failure.

“I couldn’t save her,” I choked out, voice cracking halfway through.

The words being uttered into the world was enough to have my knees crashing to the ground. The impact radiating through my body to the open wound on my side that still hadn’t healed. I was sure that Azriel had said something as I heard the glasses of whiskey clatter to the ground. But the roaring in my ears was so loud, so unbearable, that the only thing that assured me he was still there was the arm he slung around my back as he knelt next to me.

y/n’s pov:

The wedding was uneventful and to be honest the only part of it I remembered was when the priestess said, “If there is anyone present who can show just cause why these two may not be joined in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

The silence that had fallen upon the crowd was so deafening I nearly shuddered. I was stupid to hope that he would come charging in like some fairytale I had read as a child. The smug look on Eris' face as the priestess continued with the nuptials made my blood go cold.

The reception was even worse. I had spent the entire time sipping wine with a bland expression on my face. It seemed as though Eris’ new favorite word was ‘wife’ considering he found a way to use it in every sentence. While most would think it a term of endearment I knew it was just to show his ownership.

“Prince Eris, congratulations on stealing ‘The Jewel’ from us all,” a voice said, cutting across the sea of chatter. I looked up from my lap to find the High Lord of Spring, standing before our table.

“Thank you Tamlin, she is quite the prize,” Eris crooned, placing a kiss to the back of my hand.

“That she is,” Tamlin nodded, his eyes raking me from head to toe. “Almost makes me regret crossing her brother, I would’ve liked to have been in the race for her hand.”

“All in the past now,” Eris smiles, kissing the palm of my hand. “Right wife?”

“Right,” I nod to him before turning to Tamlin. “High Lord, where is the Cursebreaker tonight? I would’ve liked to make my acquaintance.” I ask secretly hoping that my brother might catch a glimpse of his mate tonight.

“Feyre is,” he averts his gaze from mine as if trying to decide what to say. “She is safe at home. Busily planning for the wedding.”

“The wedding?” I inquired further, wondering if Rhys knew.

“Yes we are to be wed soon,” Tamlin beamed with pride. “I’m sure we will see you both present?”

“Of course Tamlin, of course,” Eris assured the High Lord of Spring.

Surely if Feyre was getting married to Tamlin my brother knew. I hoped I would get the chance to tell him. The last thing our court, well I suppose his court now, needed was another separation of mates.

The rest of the night passed on quite slowly. At one point I was able to feel the bond between Cassian and I. It was faint, but it was there, and I almost swore that I felt him tug on it at one point. It wasn’t until people started making their excuses to go home that Eris finally said the words I had been dreading.

“Shall we go to bed, wife?” he mused his lips brushing the shell of my ear.

“After I say goodbye to my brother,” I nod standing up to find Rhys, wherever he was.

“You’ll see your brother soon enough, my pet. For now let us retire to our chambers,” he growled, grasping my arm and winnowing away to what I assumed was his room.

He watched intently from behind me as I took in my surroundings.

The bed was large, draped in furs and crisp white sheets. Wood paneling surrounded the four walls, giving the place an ornate look. The fireplace was a glow, casting a warm light upon the room. If it had been anyone else’s room it would’ve been cozy, maybe even romantic.

The air filled with tension as I waited for Eris to do something, or say something, as I refused to turn and meet his gaze. The only sound heard was the crackling of the fire.

“I’ve waited for this moment for quite a long time,” Eris mused from where I knew he was leaning against the door.

“You’ve made that abundantly clear throughout our courtship,” I say straight, unable to meet his predatory stare.

“How should I have acted when you are so tempting? So innocent, so pure, and now so completely mine,” he purred and I could hear his feet shuffle as he pushed off the wall. “And now that you’ve promised me your submission? Well,” he chuckled. “I’m going to have a great deal of fun with you.”

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I knew what was coming and I knew he wouldn’t be gentle and loving like Cassian. I knew that once again my hands were tied.

“Tell me you belong to me,” Eris uttered, taking a step closer to where I stood rigid.

I sucked down the lump in my throat, “I belong to you,” I whispered.

“Tell me you want me to touch you,” he went on, taking another step forward, his presence looming.

“I-I want you to touch me,” I repeated back, a tear slipping down my cheek.

Eris hummed in approval behind me. He took one, two more steps until I felt his warmth at my back. Finger tips danced up and down the backs of my arms causing my breath to lurch in fear. His breath was hot on my neck as his presence sucked out every bit of air from the room.

“Tell me you love me,” he purred.

My heart stopped cold. There were many things I would have to do or say to please Eris in the millennium that I would be tied to him. But these three words? He would never hear them from my lips. Maybe towards our children, but never to him.

“You know it wouldn't be true,” I whisper, feeling the tension radiating from his body.

His hands grip my hips like a brand, ripping my body around until I am face to face with his seething eyes.

“Then I will make it fucking true!” he growls hauling my mouth to his.

Eris had kissed me a thousand times before, not one of those times did I ever enjoy the experience. But this time? This had to be the worst. All of it felt so wrong. Knowing I had a mate. Knowing he was somewhere in this world right now. It made me sick. It was rough, all teeth and tongues. He didn’t want to kiss me, he wanted to devour me.

“Say it!” Eris demanded, breaking apart our so-called kiss.

“I will love your hounds and your mother, I may love your brothers and one day our children, but I will never love you, Eris Vanserra,” I seethed, unable to take much more.

I expected him to growl, or curse or hit me. I expected a thorough lashing for what I had said, but he didn’t even so much as flinch. What scared me more? His mouth curled up in a smirk.

“You forget that you are also a Vanserra now and speaking of heirs, I think it’s time I put one in you right now,” he mused and my stomach bottomed out. “What do you say ‘Jewel of Prythian’ think I can get you knocked up on the first try?” he smiled, backing me to his bed.

There were no words for the terror I felt. No handbook to prepare me for what came next. All I could do was shut down every emotion I had and do my best to become a ghost. A shell of myself.

No matter how hard I tried, it didn’t subdue the pain.

Azriel’s pov:

I thought that getting Cass drunk might help distract him from the feelings floating down the bond tonight, but boy was I fucking wrong.

I had seen my brother lose soldiers and whole infantries. Had seen him lose his first love, the valkyrie, Tanwyn. I was there the day Rhys and y/n went under the mountain and we thought we lost them for good.

None of that compared to the screams of agony that emanated from the male before me.

“He’s fucking hurting her!” Cassian bemoaned, gripping the nearly empty bottle of whiskey.

It didn’t take much to figure out that he could feel everything y/n was feeling through the bond. And at this late hour? It wasn’t hard to guess what Eris was doing to her, and Cassian had to feel every moment of it down the bond.

“Shh calm down Cass you have to try and block her out,” I pleaded with him, gripping his hand in mine.

His eyes were glassed over, his hair tangled from him nearly ripping it out at the roots. He had been like this for well over an hour now, and I almost wished the whiskey would do its job and make him fall asleep simply so he would be unconscious.

“I can’t Az I’ve tried,” he yells at me, nearly slumping to the side from where he sat on the floor leaning against the wall.

Earlier Rhys had spoken into my mind and asked if everything was alright. I had lied of course, telling him everything was fine, not wanting to insert myself in my brother and the princess’ business. Now I wished I had told him to come if only for him to break into Cass’ head and make him sleep. Watching him feel everything his mate was feeling while she was being… well there weren’t words for it.

“Breathe Cass, breathe,” I soothed, trying to get him to catch his breath long enough to breathe in and out fully.

“I-I can’t,” he cried. “My mate.”

His voice resonated with hopelessness and brokenness, reminiscent of the tragedies depicted in literature. This situation felt nothing short of hellish. For centuries, I longed for a mate—a bond that every fae yearned for. But witnessing how it tormented Rhysand, and observing its impact on Cassian, made me question if I truly desired a mate. In my 500 years of life, I had never seen a male stripped down to his core as profoundly as this.

y/n’s pov:

The next morning I woke up late in the day, the atrocities of last night lasting well into the early hours of the morning. It took me a moment to get my bearings. I wasn’t in the House of Wind, I was in Eris’ room. It wasn’t Cassian’s arms around me in a possessive grasp, it was Eris’.

I slowed my heartrate down enough to assess the room around me. Behind me, Eris was fast asleep, which meant I had a few moments to collect myself before he woke. I looked around the room for a second space and found a door ajar that appeared to lead to a bathroom. I saw my opportunity and took it, carefully wiggling out of Eris’ grasp.

My body ached all over, especially between my legs, but I pushed through until I stood from the bed. I tiptoed over to the bathroom, shutting the door as quietly as possible. Thankfully there were two robes hung on the door. The one for Eris made up of thick cotton, and the one for me made of a cream colored silk.

I reached for the silk robe and slipped it over my bare body, noting every large bruise and handprint that littered my skin. A problem for a later time, I told myself.

I must’ve spent fifteen minutes in the bathroom collecting myself. Constantly repeating my new found mantra.

I will not cry.

I spent so long taking deep breaths that I thought I was prepared for whatever came next. But the second I opened the door and saw Eris standing, staring down at the white sheets of the bed expectantly I knew I was sorely mistaken.

“You didn’t bleed,” Eris stated, tossing the bedsheets aside, stalking towards me.

“What do you mean?” I replied feigning innocence like I didn’t know what he meant.

My heart began to beat out of my chest as Eris stalked closer and closer to me. How could I have been so stupid? To overlook the one thing that meant the most to him in this entire facade.

“Virgins are supposed to bleed the first time they are taken by a male, yet you didn’t,” he growled, stepping into my bubble as my back hit the wall. Never in my life had I felt so small. “Which means you weren’t pure when you married me, or when you came to my bed.”

Every nerve in my body froze over as I watched him put together the pieces. There was no telling what happened next, and the only thing I could do was beg for mercy from whatever plans Eris had for a soiled female.

“Eris I-”

“Did you let that Illyrian bastard deflower you?” he gritted out, a rough hand came to grip my throat, slamming my head against the wall.

Tears pricked my eyes. Even if I had wanted to answer, the hand on my neck wouldn’t allow me. I could only shake in terror and anticipation of what would become of me.

“You useless, pathetic fucking whore.” he gritted, hand squeezing tighter with every insult. “Our marriage is now null and void by the traditions of my court, which means you no longer have the protection of being called my wife.”

His hand releases my throat and I have mere seconds to suck down a breath before a harsh slap falls across my cheek, knocking the air from my lungs once again. The next thing I know I’m kneeling on the floor, clutching my face. Eris reaches out a hand to yank me up by my hair.

“Let me show you what we do to ran through sluts in my court,” Eris spits in my face.

His hand doesn’t relinquish its grip from my hair. Instead it begins to drag me out of the room and down the hall. My scalp is burning from the tug on my hair. He takes a back corridor reserved for servants and my bare knees bump, slice and break on the rough stone stairs leading down to wherever he’s taking me.

My hands try to find purchase on the walls around me so that I can ground myself and fight back but it’s impossible.

“ERIS PLEASE!” I scream, but my pleas fall on deaf ears.

We reach a basement room that drops in temperature and he finally releases me. I try to catch my breath as I watch him scribble something on a piece of paper, picking up a hammer and nail. I instantly go to cower in a corner as he walks towards me. The autumn prince pulls me out of my fetal position by my ankles pinning me to the ground beneath his weight.

“In case I did get you pregnant on the first try,” he seethes before I feel a sharp pain to my lower abdomen.

I don’t look down, I can’t look down. Afraid of what I might see there when I do. My eyes roll to the back of my head as Eris grasps my arm and a cloud of darkness washes over us.

When the shadow withdraws my bare skin is whipped and flayed by blistering cold winds. The ground beneath me is soft, but ice cold. I open my eyes long enough to see white as far as the eye can see.

The Winter Court.

“And just in case you get any ideas about utilizing that so-called mating bond,” Eris speaks again before another sharp sting plunges into my side.

White hot pain spreads from the intrusion and spreads like acid moving through my veins. I feel like the blood beneath my skin is on fire, and I almost wish it was in order to combat the blizzard around me. Only one thing could disable me like this, bloodbane. The very same used on Cassian.

“You’ve brought this upon yourself, ‘Jewel of Prythian’. I hope that bastard general was worth your life and your court. Because when Hybern comes to call it won’t be Autumn Court armies that come to your aid.” Eris says, the disgust in his voice evident.

I can’t speak, can’t even think about anything but the agony I feel. The throb from my lower abdomen and from my side. The bite of the wind and snow on my bare skin. I can barely register the cloud of darkness as Eris winnows himself away, leaving me with nothing but a silk robe for warmth.

I reached down with a cold hand to rip the dagger from my side. I hoped if I could stop the bloodbane from spreading that I might be able to use the bond to call Cassian. The second I discard the dagger blood stains the white snow surrounding me, and I realize my mistake. My hand grasps at the open wound, attempting to apply pressure. As I sat there, bleeding and freezing to death I thought of one thing.

It was all for nothing.

All the pain, all the suffering. Hurting Cassian, hurting myself. It had all been for nothing. I was dying and alone, fingers and toes already losing feeling and I still had no army for my people. Cassian nowhere in sight to save my body and my soul. And I would die here knowing that it was all for nothing.

Because time was of the essence, and no one was coming.

Part 10

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soaps-mohawk · 3 months

Text

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 7 : Sweet Strawberry

Summary: You're not a soldier, you're just an omega. You shouldn't have to remind them of that, yet you find yourself needing to. Price makes it up to you in the best way possible.

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, military inaccuracies, language, angst, panic, fluff, suggestive content, terrible flirting

A/N: Not entirely happy with it but it's done and I can move on from this one. I struggled so much with this chapter omg. Also, I just wanted to make it clear that I am not from the UK, I've never been to the UK, I'm simply going off of prior knowledge and what Google can tell me. So, if there's any inaccuracies, I am so sorry.

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You’re expecting the knock when it comes. You’d been standing in front of your door for almost five minutes, and you get it open almost before he’s finished, hand still raised. He gives no sign that betrays his surprise, if he feels any at all, instead he simply looks you over before turning on his heel and marching towards the door.

You close your door behind you, slipping down the hallway after him. It’s raining again, though you had prepared for that, flipping the hood of your jacket up as you hurry after Ghost. He threatens to disappear in the darkness of morning, slipping between the street lamps like a specter. It’s not often you get to see the true danger in them, the threats that they pose, the things that make them good at their job. You can imagine how many on his opposing side have been caught unawares by the way he seems to flow with the darkness around him.

You are significantly less graceful and quiet, feet slapping the wet pavement as you speed walk to keep up with the giant alpha. You can almost imagine the look on his face as you plod along behind him. If your lives depended on your silence at this moment, well, it wouldn’t entirely have been your fault. If he didn’t walk so fucking fast...

He’s at least courteous enough to hold the door open for you, though perhaps that was simply something that was deeply ingrained in him. Manners that become unconscious practice, even when you despise the person you’re with. He leads you down the hall towards the practice room again, unlocking it and flipping on the lights. He empties his pockets and removes his shoes and sweatshirt, before moving to one of the punching bags.

You can already predict what your lesson today will entail. Your knuckles have almost completely healed since your little fit a week ago. You quickly strip off your jacket and toe off your wet shoes, moving to join him without having to be told.

“Do you know how to wrap your hands?” He asks, holding out two rolls of hand wraps.

“No.” You shake your head. It’s not entirely true. They had shown you once while you were with the CIA, but that had been weeks ago and you’re sure you’ve forgotten the right way to do it. Even if you tried, he’d likely sigh and do it himself anyway.

He lets out a breath, pocketing one of the wraps before grabbing your right wrist. His hands are just as rough as you remember them being the day you punched Corporal Allen, calluses dragging against your skin as he meticulously wraps the fabric around your fingers. You watch him, trying to memorize how to do it in hopes that maybe, eventually, you’ll surprise him and manage it yourself.

He finishes your hands quickly before wrapping his own. You flex your hands, trying to get used to the feeling of the wraps. They’re not too tight, shockingly. You had half expected him to choke your fingers until they’re purple just because. But, you also know Price will be looking for any mark or sign of injury as soon as he sees you at breakfast. The thought of him laying into Ghost for even a bruise as your stomach twisting, and not in a bad way.

“Make a fist.” Ghost says, crossing his arms as he stands in front of you.

You stare at his bulging muscles for a second too long, quickly curling your fingers as your face warms.

He takes hold of your hand, inspecting your fist. “Not bad.”

“I did grow up with brothers.” You murmur.

“Did they ever hit you?” He asks as he turns you to face the boxing bag.

“Only playfully.” You say, missing the subtle edge to his voice. “Dad would have caved their heads in if they ever tried.”

You can’t see the way he’s staring at you as he stands slightly behind you, but you can feel his gaze as it lingers for just a second longer than you expected it to. You’re not sure if maybe he doesn’t believe you, or maybe he knows there’s more to the story. You’ve hardly spoken about your family since your arrival, but they seemed to accept the fact that they haven’t been your family for years now as a valid reason.

“Get into your fighting stance.” He finally says, moving around you as you take the stance you had perfected last training session. “Good.” He says, looking you over. “Now throw a punch at the bag.”

You squeeze your fists, imagining Corporal Allen’s face on the bag before you throw a punch, barely managing to move the bag.

“Punches like that are what will get you hurt.” Ghost says, extending your arm. “You can throw your weight, which is good. That’s why you were able to throw Allen off his feet. You’re asking for a broken arm, though. Keep your arm flat and facing downwards through the entire punch. Aim with the knuckles and twist your lower body for support.”

He throws a punch at the bag, the sound of his fist hitting it loud, and you watch the bag swing back and forth violently. He could probably punch through you if he wanted to. Your pitiful punch wouldn’t even stun him.

He stops the bag from swinging, having you throw repeated punches at it. He fixes your form and technique as you go, teaching you different kinds of punches. Your arms quickly get tired, and you know you’re going to be sore again. Maybe you should take up some weight lifting or something. You could ask Soap to help you.

You go until your arms feel like they're going to fall off, your shoulders burning. “I can't anymore.” You whine, breathing heavily from the exertion of throwing punches for 30 minutes.

“You have to learn to push through the pain.” He says, looming over you. “You think in a fight, everyone will just stop because your arms are tired? Or you're a little sore?”

He has a point.

You take half a step back as he invades your space, leaning down close to you. “If they're out for blood, they won't even stop even as you're bleeding out in front of them.” His eyes are dark, biting into you, speaking volumes of his knowledge and experience. You wonder how many times he's been in that situation, how many times he's had to fight quite literally for his life. He steps away from you, moving towards the center of the mat. “Come on. I'll teach you some combinations.”

You don't want to follow him. You want to curl up in a corner and nap for the next four hours. You don't doubt he'll find a way to force you, though, so you move to the center of the mat with a sigh.

He teaches you different combinations, working through them over and over. You're sloppy, mixing up which punch is which, which move means what. It only gets worse as you get more and more tired, but Ghost is relentless.

Finally after almost an hour and a half of training, he calls it. Your legs are shaking and you can barely lift your arms to unravel the wraps from around your hands. You sink onto the floor, laying out flat on the padding as you try to catch your breath.

“Come on.” Ghost says, lacing up his shoes. “You'll have time to shower before breakfast if we get back now.”

“Wait. Just gimme a minute.” You breathe, not even sure you have the willpower to get up from the floor, much less the muscle power.

He lets out a sigh before approaching you, bending down to slip his hands under your arms. “On your feet, soldier.”

He lifts you easily, far too easily. Your legs shake, nearly giving out as you're forced onto them. You pout, ignoring the ache in your bones as you're forced upright.

“‘M not a soldier.” You murmur.

“In here with me, you are. You want to learn to fight, you get treated just like everyone else I've taught.” He says, glowering down at you. “Now get your shoes on and let's go.”

Your brows pull into a frown, but you do as he says, slipping your shoes back on and your jacket. You had hoped perhaps he would have a little mercy, given your status and inexperience, but it seems you're not even being awarded that. You know part of it is his revenge for you invading his protective circle around Soap, for kissing Soap in front of him.

The frown doesn't leave your face as you follow him back to the barracks, having to almost run to keep up with him.

“You look tired.”

“I am. I had training with Ghost again this morning.”

“How is that going?”

“It's hard.” You admit, sinking back in your chair. “He's hard on me. He sees me as a soldier, not an omega.”

“Have you brought this up to him?” Dr. Keller asks, crossing her feet as she relaxes on the couch across from you.

You nod. “Yeah. He said I have to push through it, because if I wind up in a real fight, they won't go easy on me.”

“Well, I can’t say he’s wrong about that. But, that’s still no excuse.” Dr. Keller tilts her head at you. “You could bring it up to Captain Price. He is your pack alpha, and he’s also Lieutenant Riley’s. I don’t doubt he’d bring it up to him on your behalf.”

He would, but you don’t really want to stir the pot in that way. The last thing you need to do is become a tattle-tail. It’s quiet between you for a few moments, Dr. Keller shuffling her papers as you mark a clear end to that conversation.

“How did you do on your assignment? I see you’re wearing a different sweatshirt this morning.” She says, eyeing you.

You’re wearing Price’s sweatshirt, the one he gifted you. You’ve been wearing it almost every day, his scent still clinging to the fabric. Your face warms as she stares at you, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Yeah, but...I didn’t ask for this one. Price gave it to me after I told him about where my other one came from. I uh...I kissed Soap. And Gaz.”

“Oh?” Her brows raise, and she writes something down on the paper. Your face warms even more as you watch her pen move with every letter. You can only imagine what she’s putting down. “Is that something you wanted? I know we talked briefly about it last time.” She says.

You nod. “Yes. I did want it. I...I also...kneeled...with Price...Did a couple times actually...”

Dr. Keller’s mouth opens in surprise, her eyes shining as she looks at you. “You did? That’s huge! That’s an incredible development! Did you initiate, or did he?”

“I did.” You say bashfully, sinking back further into the chair. “Both times.”

Dr. Keller smiles at you, looking almost proud. “This is a big step in the right direction. How did it go? Were you able to relax?”

You nod. “Yeah. It was nice. He was...gentle. He did it right.”

“Good. How did you do coming down from it? I know it can be intense and difficult for some omegas.” She asks.

You shrug. “Fine. I felt it a bit the morning after, but it wasn’t too bad. I fell asleep on him both times.”

“Oh?” She lifts an eyebrow. “Did you stay with him?”

You shake your head. “No, Gaz took me to my room both times.”

“Good. That’s good practice, for when your heat comes. Shows how much trust they have in each other.”

You hadn’t really thought of that. There was a lot of trust involved in omega’s heats. Omegas have to trust their alphas to take care of them while they’re blind with insatiable need, but both alpha and omega have to trust a beta to keep them alive. Your heat will trigger Price’s rut and make him lose control for a while, and it will be up to Gaz to keep you both fed and hydrated. He’ll be the one to help you both afterwards as well.

“Have you started nesting yet?” Dr. Keller asks.

You shake your head. “No. Don’t feel any drive to either.”

Dr. Keller hums as she writes something down. “Well, it has only been two weeks. Though, perhaps if you can manage to ask for some things to make your space more comfortable, that might help ease you into it.”

You chew on your lip, tugging at the sleeves of your sweatshirt. You know she’s right. Until you’re comfortable and feel safe enough, you won’t feel the drive to nest. You’ll need to nest before your heat arrives. Otherwise, it’ll cause issues for both you and Price.

“When...when should I be worried?” You ask.

“Hmm...” Dr. Keller looks at her calendar. “If you’re not feeling any sort of drive to nest by our next appointment, then I’d say we may need to consider using some exercises to help jump start it.”

“Exercises?” You ask warily.

“All easy things.” She reassures you. “Things like scent introductions, tactile explorations, and some bonding exercises might be helpful as well.” She writes something down on a sticky note. “I’ll explain everything in detail and you’ll get to choose whether you want to do any of it or not. No one’s going to force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, alright?”

Tears prick your eyes at her words, and you furiously blink them back. It’s a little late for that kind of sentiment. Your presence here alone was thanks to a long line of people forcing you to do things you’re not comfortable with. It was easy to get lost in the excitement and the emotions of bonding with a pack, easy to forget that you would never have chosen this place had you ever been given the option to choose.

You would have gone far from the military, far from this kind of life. It’s your duty to bond with an alpha, but what if you don’t want to? What if it’s all a front, and as soon as you’re claimed the curtains rise and suddenly everything is different? What if Price isn’t as kind as you’ve come to believe him? Just one squeeze too tightly around the back of your neck while you’re kneeling and everything would change.

How easily he could take everything from you.

“You want to talk about what’s going on in your head right now?” Dr. Keller asks, breaking the silence between you two.

You hadn’t even noticed you’d been staring off into space, lost in your thoughts. Of course she knows something’s changed. She’s spent years learning the ins and outs of omegas and all the secrets you can only imagine. She’s probably just as in tune with subtle changes as the four well trained soldiers that make up your new pack. Maybe even more in tune with them.

You shake your head, keeping your gaze on the floor.

“Remember nothing shared in this room leaves this room. It’ll always only be between us.” She says softly.

You’re panicking. You can feel the pressure rising within you. You’re like a grenade and someone is about to pull the pin. You’re afraid you’ll spill everything to her, afraid you’ll let out things you’ve successfully kept buried for years and years. Things you’ve left behind, things you’ve had to move on from. Things you can’t afford to let out now.

“I’d like to be done now.” You silently curse the way your voice shakes.

Dr. Keller’s brows pull into a frown but she nods. “Okay.” She slips her papers into her notebook before standing. “Let me grab my keys.”

You stand as she moves to her desk, grabbing her keys from the drawer. She leads you from her office, thankfully staying quiet as you walk through the rain towards the barracks. You’re still panicking, the turmoil inside you probably projecting the sour scent across the entire courtyard but you don’t care. You can’t.

“Remember, if you ever need anything, I’m usually in my office.” Dr. Keller says as she drops you off at the door.

You feel guilty as you hurry to your room, shoes squeaking on the tile. You feel bad for cutting the appointment off early, you feel bad for feeling the way you do. Later you’ll be grateful for Dr. Keller respecting your boundaries and not pushing, for following through with her promise and letting you be in control of the appointment.

Right now you don’t care. Right now you can’t care. You’re too lost in your turmoil, the bitter scent of your distress seeping out from under the locked door.

“...can ye talk tae me, hen? Let me know yer alright?”

The soft voice coming through the closed door pulls you out from your burrow under the thin blanket. You blink blearily at your phone, trying to see the time. It’s just a little past the normal time you go to lunch with them. How long have they been knocking on the door?

“Come on, lass.” Soap’s voice comes through the door again. “I dinnae want tae have tae kick in the door.”

You force yourself out from under the blanket, pocketing your phone before quickly moving to your door. You throw it open, Soap’s eyes immediately scanning you as you rub tiredly at your eyes. You don’t doubt he’d kick in your door if he felt he had to.

“Sorry,” You yawn. “I was asleep.”

His eyebrows raise as he stares down at you. “Ye were asleep? Ye weren’t kidding about bein’ a heavy sleeper.” He leads you from the barracks, crossing the courtyard towards the mess.

“One time, when I was about two or three, my dad took us to some demonstration on base.” You say as you begin walking to the mess with him. “I fell asleep about halfway through and slept through a howitzer going off.”

Soap lets out a laugh so loud it echoes in the courtyard. “Ye slept through a howitzer?”

You nod. “Yup. My dad never let me live it down. I heard it all the time. ‘You’ll have to try hard to wake her, she slept through a howitzer once.’”

Soap chuckles, leading you into the mess. “Ye are a deep sleeper.”

You shrug. “I did say so. My phone will wake me up though. Alarms, calls.”

“I’ll keep tha’ in mind.” He says as he guides you through the line, making your tray for you.

You sit between Price and Gaz as usual, feeling a bit on edge still despite your nap after your appointment. You hadn’t gotten to sleep for very long, not nearly long enough to clear your head completely. You know they can tell, Gaz slowly shifting closer and closer to you, Price’s gaze flickering to you out of the corner of his eye every so often. Even Ghost’s eyes pass over you every so often as they sweep across the mess.

You wonder if he feels responsible.

You hope he does.

Soap walks you back to the barracks after lunch and you spend the afternoon burrowed under your blanket again. You’re exhausted and sore after a long morning of training and your appointment. You wish you could sink back into sleep, let the emotions pass without you having to feel them, but you’re too awake now. Too aware of them as they prickle in the back of your mind.

Dinner passes without incident, but you can’t ignore the feelings still stirring within you. You feel agitated and on edge, not even pacing your room helping you. You let out a breath before you put your slippers on, slipping out of your door. You make your way down the hallway, turning right instead of left like you would if you were heading for the rec room. The door is cracked open and you pause just before you reach it, suddenly feeling nervous. You shouldn’t really. There was no reason to be nervous, yet you can’t help the urge in the back of your mind to turn tail and race back down the hallway to the safety of your room.

“You can come in, unless you’d prefer standing in the hallway all evening.” A voice calls from inside the office.

Your face warms a bit at getting caught, but he could probably hear you coming down the hallway. He could probably smell you too.

You push open the door, slipping inside before closing it behind you. Price stares at you from his desk as you stand there, shifting nervously on your feet. You feel agitated, on edge still. You’re worked up, and you don’t quite know why.

“Everything alright?” Price asks, likely picking up on your nervous energy.

Yes. You want to say, but then you’d have to come up with a reason as to why you sought him out, why you feel so worked up. You could just kneel for him. It’s what you should do, let yourself be eased into a peaceful state of mind. Let him take care of you.

“I don’t know.”

The words are hardly more than a whisper, your voice trembling just as much as you are. Your chest feels tight, your breaths becoming shallow. You're not sure when he got up, when he even moved. His scent wraps around you, warmth encompassing your being as your face is pushed against his chest.

“I need you to breathe for me.” Price says, pressing your ear against his chest. You can hear the steady thump of his heart, the air flowing in and out of his lungs.

You close your eyes, trying to match your breaths to his. It's hard, your body fighting your attempt to regulate it. You close your eyes, focusing on the soft fabric of Price's shirt against your cheek, the warmth of his hand on your head as he keeps you pinned against his chest. It's not constricting or suffocating. It's grounding, keeping you from drowning in your own thoughts.

He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't need to as he holds you there, letting you calm down. You begin to slowly relax, your arms wrapping around his waist, fingers gripping the back of his shirt.

“Want to tell me what’s going on?” He murmurs, lips brushing the top of your head.

“I don’t know.” You whisper, still clinging to his shirt. “I’m just...I feel off. Ghost was being hard on me this morning and then I got upset during my appointment and I’ve just felt on edge all day and I can’t relax because I can’t get comfortable!”

Price tightens his grip around you just slightly. “What do you mean?”

You huff out a breath, squeezing your eyes closed so the tears don’t escape as the words leave you in a flood before you can stop them. “The blankets aren’t soft enough and the pillows are too thin and it’s too dark and I’m tired of smelling like bland soap!”

Price hums quietly, squeezing you gently as a tear slides down your cheek. “Then we should do something to fix that.”

“But I shouldn’t need it!” You cry, trying to push away from him, but he keeps you tight against his chest. “I’m supposed to be a good omega and adapt and learn to be comfortable where I am.”

“That might be what you were taught,” He says, letting you push away from his chest, but he wraps his hands around your arms, keeping you in front of him. “But things don’t have to be that way. We should have taken care of something like this sooner. I’m sorry I didn’t even think of it. You shouldn’t have had to ask for it.”

You blink up at him, genuinely surprised by his words. “I...what?”

“We all have our own little comforts that we keep. Soap sleeps with a stuffed bear. Don’t tell him I told you that.”

A small smile tugs at your lips at the mental image of Soap snuggling up with a teddy bear.

“You deserve some comfort too.” He says, squeezing your arms.

“But, it’s not...regulation.” You say.

“Doesn’t have to be.” He says. “You’re not a soldier. Even then, the only ones going in there are us. The only thing I can’t approve of is painting the walls. Unfortunately the prison grey has to stay.”

You can’t help but laugh, wiping the tear from your cheek. “I suppose that’s alright. Just...as long as it’s not as dark and maybe a soft blanket or something. That’s really all I need.”

He hums, staring down at you. You can’t quite figure out the look on his face, something shining in his eyes. “We’ll get it figured out.” He says, squeezing your arms again.

“Get some shoes on. We’re going on a trip.”

You look up from your book, staring at Price as he stands in the rec room. He’s dressed in civilian clothes, arms crossed as he stares down at you on the couch. You mark your place in your book, pushing yourself up to sit. It’s a Saturday afternoon, and unlike last week they had the day off, which means you do as well.

“Are you going to make me hike through the woods for two hours again, sir?” You ask, pushing yourself up to stand.

“No. We’re going into town.” He says.

You blink at him. You haven’t been off base since you arrived, and you figured you probably wouldn’t be getting that opportunity any time soon. “Can I ask why, sir?”

“We’ve got some shopping to do.” He says simply, turning and leaving the rec room.

You stand there shocked for a moment before you’re following after him, slipping into your room to put comfortable shoes on and grab your phone and a jacket. You don’t even have a wallet to carry around to make yourself feel better.

Price is waiting by the door for you, a car parked outside. You’re slow to approach him, suddenly feeling a mix of emotions. He’s doing this for you. He’d really taken your conversation last night to heart and now he’s going to go spend money on you that he doesn’t need to.

“What’s that look for sweetheart?” He asks, standing in front of the door.

“You don’t have to do this.” You say, staring up at him. He seems so tall like this, so...imposing.

“Course I do.” He says, his gaze softening just slightly. “Should have done it sooner. You deserve to be comfortable too.” He says, turning to open the door.

You follow him out, climbing into the car when he opens the door for you. He gets in the driver’s seat, the car rumbling to life. He drives to the front gate, passing off two ID cards to the guards. He passes one to you when the guard hands them back, the gate in front of you opening.

“That’s your ID card. Gets you on and off base.” He explains as he drives away from the gate. “I doubt you’ll be leaving on your own, but just in case.”

“Thank you, sir.” You say, slipping the card under your phone case for the time being.

He glances at you, a small smile on his lips. “You can call me John, if you'd like. You don't need to be formal when we're in private.”

“Yes, sir.” You make a face, biting your lip at your automatic response. “Sorry. Old habits.”

“From the institute?” He asks.

You shake your head. “My dad, actually. He was a firm believer in respecting authority figures. All ‘yes, sir’ and ‘no, sir’ by the time we were old enough to know the difference.”

“Sounds like my father.” He says, staring out at the road ahead. “Old grizzled military man.”

“Do you still have contact with him?” You ask curiously. You don’t know much of anything about their families, their backgrounds.

“Not really. Beyond holidays, neither of us really make an effort to talk to the other. After mum passed, there wasn’t much to talk about.” He says.

“She was the glue.” You say, watching the trees pass by the car.

“Yeah.” He huffs out a laugh. “As betas usually are.”

“Do you have any siblings?” You ask, curiosity getting the better of you. You know next to nothing about them, while they likely know your entire life story.

“No,” He shakes his head. “Just me. You have a lot of siblings.”

You nod. “Seven at the time I left for the institute. Could be more now.”

“They never tried to keep contact with you?” He asks.

“Nope.” You turn to look out the window. “The institute didn’t really encourage it either, because we were being prepared to join new packs. That’s hard to do when you still have bonds with your old ones. I think they might have forcibly ended some. I know there were some omegas that tried to keep contact, but it became less and less until eventually it just stopped.”

Price’s hands tighten around the steering wheel just slightly. You wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t been paying attention. Silence settles in the car as he drives, farmlands passing until the houses start getting closer and closer together. You stare at the buildings as he drives through town, a blend of historical and modern.

“It’s beautiful here.” You say, watching people and cars pass by.

“I suppose so.” He says, glancing at you. “I grew up in this area.”

You turn to look at him. “You did? I didn’t know that. Then again, I don’t know much about any of you.”

“You can ask us, you know.” He says. “We don’t have to be that secretive with you. At least not about ourselves.”

He pulls into a parking lot, opening your door for you and helping you out of the car. You slip your hand into his, holding it as you cross the parking lot. You stare up at the store. ASDA. You’ve never heard of it before, though you suppose the stores would be different here too.

Price drops your hand to grab a cart, the store bustling with people. You hang onto the edge of the cart, staying close to Price’s side. “We’re here for you.” He says, guiding you through the aisles. “Get whatever you want.”

He’s led you to the homegoods section, your eyes widening at the entire aisle of blankets and bedding in front of you. You try to take it all in, but you feel a bit overwhelmed. There’s so many choices, so many options.

“Pick out as many as you want. Don’t worry about the price.” He says, before you can protest. “We get paid decently, but don’t have many chances to use it. Let me do this for you.”

You stare up into his eyes, the sincerity in them, before you nod, turning back to the wall of blankets before you. You study them, running your hand along them to find the softest ones, doing as he says and ignoring the price tags. You settle on a couple soft ones, grabbing a throw blanket as well that you can pack around to the rec room if you want to. He takes you to the pillow aisle, and you settle on a pair of fluffy pillows, as well as a couple decorative ones as well.

“Here.” He slips a big plush strawberry into your arms before you leave the aisle, your cheeks warming as you look at it. “Makes me think of you.”

You preen at his words, holding onto the strawberry as you make for the lamps and nightlights, settling on a cat shaped one that will sit on your desk and changes colors. You pick up a few other items before heading for the toiletries, finally setting the strawberry in the cart as you zero in on the soaps and body washes. You smell all the strawberry scented ones, trying to find the perfect one.

“Why strawberry?” Price asks as you put a strawberries and cream scented body wash in the cart.

“Compliments my scent.” You explain as he leads you to the shampoo and conditioner. “We had a scent specialist come to the institute one time as an activity. We all figured out what our scents smell like and what notes compliment them the best.”

An arm wraps around your waist before you can look at the shampoo, pulling you back against a broad chest. Price’s nose presses into your neck and he inhales deeply. He lets out a content hum, his beard tickling the sensitive skin of your neck. “I think you’re right.”

Your face burns hot as he presses a gentle kiss against the side of your neck before releasing you. You stand there for a moment, trying to calm the heat rushing through your body and focus on the shampoo. You hear him chuckle as you shuffle forward, your face still burning as you smell the shampoo bottles.

You settle on one, holding onto Price’s arm as you continue around the store, picking up a few other items and a couple for himself as well before heading to the checkout.

You hold on to Price’s arm as you leave the store, sticking close to him as he loads the bags into the trunk. You can feel the slight tension in his body, the way his eyes scan the parking lot every few seconds. You can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must be for him to relax, especially out in public. How fast his mind has to be running, how alert he is to everyone and everything. A threat could come out of nowhere, could come from anyone.

It must be exhausting.

“Hungry, sweetheart?” He asks as he buckles his seatbelt.

“Always.” You answer, leaning on the center console.

He smiles. “What are you in the mood for?”

You blink at him. Most of the restaurants you know probably don’t exist in England. “Fish and chips?” You offer, pulling up the one British food you’re confident in naming.

“Fish and chips it is.” He says, turning on the car.

“I have yet to have real fish and chips.” You say, settling into the passenger seat.

“Well, I know the perfect place.” He says, pulling out of the parking lot.

You don’t have to go far before he’s parking on the street and helping you out of the car. His hand settles on your lower back, guiding you down the street to a fish and chips shop.

It's too early for the dinner rush, the shop mostly empty and quiet. Price orders for you before guiding you to a table, and you let him sit facing the door and front window. He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't have to. They seem so relaxed on base, though you suppose that's the place they feel the most comfortable. You can't even imagine the kinds of things they've seen, the horrors they've been subjected to.

You don't want to think about the things they've done.

Your eyes snap downwards as Price's hand slides across the table, closing around yours. You don't want to think about the things he's done with those hands. The lives he's taken, the people he's tortured. Will he ever turn those hands on you?

They've given you no reason to fear them yet. They've all been kind, polite. Even Ghost hasn't truly given you a reason to fear him, despite his obvious disapproval and hard exterior.

You know nothing about them.

You've known them for just over two weeks. You can't possibly have any understanding of who they are, how they express their emotions. What if they get upset? What happens when they get angry? What if you anger them?

“I know this hasn’t been easy for you. Any of it.” Price says, drawing you from your worried thoughts. “I know you were taught to expect this, perhaps not this exact situation, but something like this. Being sent off to some strange alpha to join their pack, bonding with complete strangers. None of us were expecting this either. It’s been an adjustment in a lot of ways, but I want you to know that we’ll take care of you. You need anything, you tell us. You want anything, we’ll do our best to make it happen. We’ll keep you safe.” He lifts your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “I promise you that.”

You want to believe him. You really do. They haven’t given you any reason to not believe it.

It’s only been two weeks.

You continue to talk with him as you eat, making light conversation, getting to know him a bit more. Despite the trickling uncertainty in the back of your mind, it feels good. It feels like a date, something you had dreamed of before you presented, something you had imagined happening when you finally got old enough to start looking for potential mates and packs.

Of course, back then, you had thought you’d be an alpha.

It had been expected of you.

Price has his arm wrapped around you as you walk back to the car, his hand on your hip. It’s possessive almost, and it makes your stomach flutter. Price is the only one you haven’t kissed yet, well, besides Ghost, but you’re certain you’d wind up through a wall if you even thought of trying. It’s almost ironic that Price would be the last, considering he’s going to be the one claiming you, the one you spend your heat with.

You stare out the window as the buildings fade into farmlands again. The sun is setting, painting the world in oranges and reds. You still feel a bit warm from Price’s possessive hold on you, his teasing in the store. You can still feel the tickle of his beard on your skin, his lips pressing against your neck.

You jump when rough fingers trail down your arm, pulling it from where it had been resting in your lap.

“You were right.” Price says as he lifts your hand to his face, pressing his nose against your wrist and inhaling for a moment. “Strawberries are the strongest note in your scent.” He lowers your hand again, lacing your fingers together. “What’s got you all worked up over there.”

You stare at him, your face getting warm again. Of course he can smell it. You can smell the muskiness beginning to form around the edges of his scent. Desire. “You haven’t kissed me yet.” You say, moving his hand into your lap. “You're the only one that hasn't...well, besides Ghost.”

He huffs out a quiet laugh. “You sound disappointed.”

You untangle your fingers with his, letting his hand rest on your thigh. “What if I am?”

His fingers flex against your leg, the muskiness of his scent strengthening. “Then maybe we should fix that.”

The cocktail of scents in the car is intoxicating, and you feel bad for the poor beta soldier at the gate when Price rolls down the window to hand off your IDs.

Price is out of the car as soon as it's parked, moving around to your side to open the door. He pins you against the side of the car as soon as you're out, caging you in with his arms.

You stare up at him, head swimming with the musk laced in his scent. You can see his eyes shining in the light next to the door of the barracks. He looks like a hungry wolf, the back of your neck prickling with excitement.

He leans down, breath fanning your face as he gets closer and closer to you. You press yourself against him, hands gripping his shoulders as he presses his lips to yours. His lips are surprisingly soft, his beard tickling your face. He growls quietly against your lips, pushing you harder against the side of the car.

You let out a quiet sound in response, hands gripping his jacket. His hands slide from the car to your sides, sliding down to grip your hips. You can feel the muscle hidden beneath his jacket and shirt, the strength that he possesses. He may not be purebred like Ghost, but he’s still every inch an alpha.

You let out another quiet sound as he pulls away, pressing a caste kiss to the corner of your lips. “Bloody hell, now I know what those boys were on about.” He breathes, leaning his forehead against yours.

“They were talking about me?” You ask, pulling back slightly.

“Only good things.” Price grins, leaning down to kiss you again. “Sweet as sugar.” He breathes, kissing you again. “And just as addicting.” He pulls away from you, his hands resting on your waist. “We should get your stuff inside so you can get it all set up. Want me to fetch one of the boys to help?”

You bite your lip. “Or you could just do it.”

He stares down at you, something flashing across his face but you can’t quite make it out in the low light. “You’re sure?” His voice is quiet, taking on that soft tone it often does when he speaks to you.

“You’ll have to eventually.” You shrug. “Might as well start now.”

He leans down, kissing you again before pulling away, opening up the trunk. He grabs most of the bags, only leaving the pillows for you to grab before he leads the way into the barracks. You open your door, stepping in first before he follows. You dump your pillows on the bed, and he sets the rest of the bags on your desk.

“Blankets in the wash.” You say, digging them out of the bags, pulling the tags off.

“I’ll take them.” He says, fishing out his stuff from the bags before taking the blankets from you.

You switch out your pillows for the softer ones, organizing the decorative ones just the way you want. You squish the strawberry to your chest again, a smile forming on your face before you flop back onto the bed, sinking into the soft pillows. It’s almost perfect, you think.

“Comfortable?” Price’s voice rumbles in the doorway, a smile on his face as he stares at you.

“Much better.” You say, sitting up and placing the strawberry in its place.

The two of you finish taking everything out of the bags, decorating the rest of your room. The posters on the walls, and the nightlight on your desk. It feels far more homey already, and you know you’re going to sleep well tonight once the blankets are out of the wash.

“Thank you.” You say, looking up at Price. “This really means a lot.”

“All in a day’s work, love.” He says, pulling you into his arms again.

You lean against his chest, resting your head over his heart, listening to it beat steadily against your ear.

You wake up suddenly, yet you’re not quite sure why. There’s no one in your room, your new nightlight easily showing you that. Your mouth is dry, but there’s a line of wetness down your chin. You reach across your nightstand, your phone illuminating the time.

Just past one a.m.

You smack your lips, feeling thirsty after the excitement of the day. You’d forgotten to grab water when you left the rec room and you huff out a sigh. You don’t want to get up, but now that you’re aware you’re thirsty, there’s no stopping those thoughts.

You don’t even bother with slippers as you pad to the door, opening it up. You leave it cracked as you sleepily shuffle towards the rec room, the barracks almost dead quiet this late. You grab a bottle from the fridge, unscrewing the top before drinking a few gulps. It’s cold and tastes divine, soothing the dryness of your mouth. You screw the top back on, closing the fridge before heading back towards your room.

You turn the corner, still half asleep, nearly yelping as you slam into a chest. You stumble back a couple steps, staring up at the covered face looming over you. You gulp, holding the bottle to your chest.

“S-Sorry.” You stutter.

“You’re out of bed.” He says quietly, voice rumbling in the silence.

“Thirsty.” It’s all you can manage as you hold up the bottle.

He stares at you for a long moment, eyes flickering all over your face. His chest is heaving, almost as if he had been running before you ran into him. His hands are closed into fists at his sides, knuckles almost white with how tense he is. You think for a moment he might be mad, but you can’t catch any whiff of ozone in the air. Your nose prickles at the scent, but it’s not anger.

Your tired brain can’t make sense of it, yearning to sink back into the softness of your bed again. You slowly shuffle around him, taking cautious steps, waiting for him to reach out and stop you, but he doesn’t. He simply watches you go, standing there in the hallway as you slip back into your room, not moving until he hears the click of your lock slipping into place.

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#call of duty #call of duty fic #x reader #john price x reader #captain price x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle garrick x reader #john mactavish x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #poly 141 #task force 141 x reader #omegaverse #a/b/o #alpha/beta/omega dynamics

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