#I’ve never seen those last three before??? I HAVE to post them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xyzstar · 7 days

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𝐒𝐋𝐔𝐓

— “𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹𝒀𝑶𝑵𝑬 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑺 𝑯𝑰𝑴, 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑾𝑨𝑺 𝑴𝒀 𝑪𝑹𝑰𝑴𝑬"

pairings: charles leclere x singer! reader

summary: your teasing your new singles that are inspired by your recent hate/"controversy"

face claim: madison beer, pinterest girls (aesthetic purposes only!)

a/n: pt2 of anti-hero but could also be read as a standalone!! i will be making a pt3 so lookout for that 😆😆 (the comments are long mb and also yes ik slut & vigilante shit aren’t on the same album but this is fiction!!!)

previously || next

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, yourbsfuser, landonorris, enyaumanzor, oscarpiastri, sabrinacarpenter and 1,892,578 others

ynlnofficial secrets out ig! at least i finally get to show off my sexy man 😍😍🤫😉😘😇😅

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charles_leclerc i love you so much chérie 💗

↳ ynlnofficial i love you more honey ❤️

charles_leclerc our privacy only lasted for three months 😞

↳ landonorris YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN DATING FOR THREE MONTHS???

↳ ynlnofficial yeah 😆😆

↳ ynhatersclub doesn’t that mean you cheated on your ex with him

↳ ynlnofficial um no actually!! those photos of us arguing we were already broken up and were friends only but then he started getting jealous when i would hangout with charles, we weren’t even together at that time, but he was degrading me and calling me stuff i’ve seen a lot in my comments that’s why i was crying. our breakup was in private months before those pictures were taken so keep hating on me even though you don’t know the full story.

↳ ynmylove OH YOU GAGGED HER

oscarpiastri when i tell you my jaw dropped (no it didn’t because i already knew, my detective skills are too amazing 💪)

ynlnupdates BYE NOT YOU POSTING THE PAPARAZZI PICS OF YOU TWO

ynfan101 YOU DID NOT COME TO PLAY WITH THE LYRICS

↳ ynmylove she’s bold bold 😭😭

↳ ynlnupdates she really shut everyone up, as she should!

arthur_leclerc WHEN CAN I MEET YOU

↳ charles_leclerc no

↳ arthur_leclerc why no? 🤬

↳ charles_leclerc don’t want you scaring her away from me

ynlnsucks where are all the hate comments? i need to like them all 😂😂

↳ yntheclown she’s probably deleting them all 😒

sabrinacarpenter so happy for you, you deserve nothing but love and happiness 🤍

❤️ by creator and charles_leclerc

liked by yourbsfuser, landonorris, ynlnofficial, arthur_leclerc, oscarpiastri, pierregasly, carlossainez55, and 1,562,201 others

charles_leclerc my beautiful, talented, amazing, sweet, funny, lovely gf i love you! 💗💗

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ynlnofficial BABY THE CAPTION IS GONNA MAKE ME CRY

ynlnofficial i love you so much more handsome 💋💋

yourbsfuser y/n’s body is tea

↳ ynlnofficial did i eat or did i eat 🤫🤫

↳ yourbsfuser oh bestie you ATE TF UP

landonorris this is so cute i’m gonna throw up

arthur_leclerc my future sister in law fr

↳ ynlnofficial literally!! (i will never let go of cha 😈😈)

↳ charles_leclerc yay 🥳🥳 (please let me out of your basement)

ynfan101 YOUR HAND IN THE SECOND PIC HELLO

↳ ynmylove i gasped when i saw

mrsleclerc she doesn’t deserve you

oscarpiastri call me a professional stalker or wtv 🤫🙏

↳ ynlnofficial oh that’s not…

↳ oscarpiastri in the sense that…

↳ ynfan101 i love how well y/n and charles friends are already getting along 🥰

yntheclown she only wants your money, wake up.

iloveyn WAIT A MIN GUYS THE FOURTH SLIDE?

↳ ynloml NEW ALBUM?????

↳ charles_leclerc 🤫🤐

liked by sabrinacarpenter, honeymoon, enyaumanzor, yourbsfuser, oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, landonorris, zendaya and and 1,902,347 others

ynlnofficial 🎤🎶

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charles_leclerc i am so ready

↳ iloveyn ready for what 🤨

ynloml are you teasing a new song or album…

ynmylove i’m manifesting a new album 🙏

ynhatersclub delete your whole existence

sabrinacarpenter 🖤🤍

yourbsfuser you’re so hot marry me 😍

↳ ynlnofficial anything for you gorgeous 😘😘

↳ charles_leclerc stop trying to steal my gf 😡

oscarpiastri time to go into stalker mode again to solve this mystery

↳ ynlnofficial oh!

ynlnsucks second pic is true 🤡

enyaumanzor babe…

↳ ynlnofficial yes…

arthur_leclerc white and black pics (white = **** black = ********* ****)

↳ ynlnofficial ok genius 🤓☝️

↳ ynmylove does this mean two songs?!?!?!

↳ ynloml wait guys hear me out…y/n gave a sneak peak of her new songs to arthur and charles because it seems they’re the only ones who aren’t confused

↳ iloveyn no because you have a point

yntheclown where’s your shirt

↳ ynlnofficial on @/charles_leclerc bedroom floor :))

↳ ynlnupdates your honor i fear she ate 😹😹😹

liked by ynlnupdates, landonorris, ynlnofficial, oscarpiastri, yourbsfuser, carlossainez55, arthur_leclerc and 1,473,398 others

charles_leclerc what if all i need is you?

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arthur_leclerc got love struck went straight to my head

↳ ynlnofficial got love sick all over my bed

↳ ynmylove OHMYGOD ARE THESE LYRICS

↳ ynloml ITS HAPPENING

↳ ynfan101 FINALLY WE’RE GETTING MORE MASTERPIECES

iloveyn the fact that both charles and his brother arthur know the lyrics to her song that hasn’t even been released yet

yourbsfuser face card never declines

↳ ynlndrama it always does

↳ ynhatersclub she’s ugly on the inside and outside

↳ charles_leclerc blocked and reported

↳ ynlnofficial you want me so badly

↳ charles_leclerc well you are my gf for a reason

landonorris how come arthur got a sneak peak of y/n’s song but i didn’t?? 🙄

↳ oscarpiastri sucks to be you ig 😹😹

↳ landonorris HAVE YOU HEARD IT?!

↳ ynlnofficial he blackmailed me to let him listen to it before it was released ://

↳ carlossainez55 say what now?

↳ oscarpiastri told you guys i’m a professional stalker

ynlnsucks it’s probably trash

liked by ynlnofficial, landonorris, charles_leclerc, carlossainez55, arthur_leclerc, yourbsfuser, and 682,290 others

oscarpiastri me listening to side a vs me listening to side b

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charles_leclerc ME

arthur_leclerc i go from 🥰💗🎀 to 😒🖤🦹🏻‍♂️

landonorris @/ynlnofficial show me to me please, send it to me rachel 😖😞

↳ ynlnofficial 👩‍🦯‍➡️

ynlnofficial YAS KING, 👑 you dropped this

↳ ynlnupdates YOU’RE TOO FUNNY Y/N

ynlnofficial thanks for the support pookie dookie 🥸

↳ oscarpiastri i do not agree with that nickname

carlossainez55 haven’t heard it yet 😔💔

↳ landonorris me either 😪

↳ landonorris i’m going insane

↳ ynlnofficial you’ll live ❤️

charles_leclerc ok but you don’t love her music like i love her music

↳ oscarpiastri are you trying to gatekeep y/n 😅

↳ charles_leclerc yes.

yourbsfuser ms girl did not come to play

liked by zendaya, enyaumanzor, sabrinacarpenter, charles_leclerc, yourbsfuser, landonorris, oscarpiastri, arthur_leclerc and 2,103,211 others

ynlnofficial slut coming out in 3 days, vigilante shit coming out in 6 days 🤍🖤

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landonorris THREE DAYS??? SIX DAYS??? I CANNOT WAIT THAT LONG

enyaumanzor serving cunt as always queen

landonorris i’m genuinely tweaking

↳ ynlnofficial yikes! well too bad so sad 🥰🥰

sabrinacarpenter will be streaming

↳ ynlnsucks the fact that the only person she replied to is lando, didn’t even reply to her own bf

ynlnupdates IM BEYOND EXCITED

yourbsfuser PERIOD QUEEN I LOVE TO SEE IT

ynmylove i’m gonna faint.

yntheclown it’s gonna flop

ynhatersclub is your bf gonna buy all your listeners?

charles_leclerc can’t wait for everyone else to hear your masterpieces 💗

↳ landonorris i can’t wait either 💔💔💔💔💔

arthur_leclerc SCREAMING

ynlndrama we don’t want this trash

ynswifeyy FREAKING TF OUT

oscarpiastri 🥳🥳

ynlnsucks boring

↳ ynfan101 stfu no one asked for your opinion

zendaya i already know i’m gonna love them both

liked by ynlnofficial, yourbsfuser, oscarpiastri, carlossainez55, landonorris, arthur_leclerc, pierregasly, and 1,003,297 others

charles_leclerc my gf’s new songs is out, go stream slut on any music platform 💗💗

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charles_leclerc forgot to mention i’m super proud of you @/ynlnofficial 😘😘

↳ ynlnofficial in a world of boys you’re a gentleman ❤️

landonorris FINALLY I GET TO HEAR IT

ynlnsucks insta needs to add a dislike button

↳ charles_leclerc thanks for reminding me to block you :))

ynfan101 RIPPING MY HAIR OUT

oscarpiastri ascending to heaven

ynlnofficial i love you with all my heart cha, i couldn’t have done this without you :((

↳ charles_leclerc i’ll always be here to pull you in when you breakdown, i love you so much amour!!

ynmylove ik this is the bare minimum BUT HES SO PERFECT FOR HER

yourbsfuser THE BEST SONG TO EVER BEEN WRITTEN

ynloml when she’s so in love she writes a song about him >>

↳ ynlnupdates and the fact that she never wrote a song about her ex

❤️ by creator and ynlnofficial

arthur_leclerc EVERYONE GO STREAM MY SISTER IN LAWS NEW SONG NOW!!! (or else i’ll haunt you in your dreams.)

↳ ynlnofficial well maybe let’s not threaten people!

↳ charles_leclerc IF EVERYONE DOESN’T LISTEN TO MY GF’S NEW SONG I WILL RETIRE FROM F1

↳ ynlnofficial CHARLES LECLERC DON’T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT

↳ charles_leclerc sorry :// (no i’m not)

landonorris i cant stop listening to it, istg ive played it 10 times already

↳ ynlnofficial it was just released like half an hour ago???

↳ landonorris ITS SO GOOD IM OBSESSED

carlossainez55 running to spotify

pierregasly a tear was shed

liked by pierregasly, yourbsfuser, charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, landonorris, sabrinacarpenter, oscarpiastri, carlossainez55, and 2,003,387 others

ynlnofficial ‘slut’ is out now!! i wanna give a special thanks to the loml for always being there for me with open arms 💗💗

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arthur_leclerc art (except for that fact that it’s about my brother 🤢)

ynmylove honestly it’s one of the best songs i’ve heard in awhile

charles_leclerc i love you so much i swear i’m gonna marry you one day ❤️

↳ ynlnofficial SHUT UP (don’t actually shut up because i love you future husband 💗)

ynlnupdates ATE DOWN AND LEFT NO CRUMBS

landonorris my new favorite song!!!!!

ynmywifeyy thank you for this wonderful song mother 🙏

enyaumanzor slut will be included in my media of the week

↳ ynlnofficial you’re amazing ily??????!?!?

ynhatersclub give us nothing like always ms gold digging slut 😂😂

↳ charles_leclerc while you’re too busy hating on a successful and beautiful woman you probably cry yourself to sleep WISHING you could be half the woman she is.

↳ ynloml oh to have a supportive bf who defends you like charles does

sabrinacarpenter sososo good! 🤍

❤️ by creator

yntheclown and the whole crowd boos and throws tomatoes at you

↳ landonorris and the whole friend group blocks and reports you

yourbsfuser you’re welcome for taking that first pic (unlike charles)

↳ oscarpiastri he was too busy drooling over y/n

↳ charles_leclerc and im not ashamed about it

ynlnsucks gold digger

↳ carlossainez55 be more creative next time you wanna insult an icon

ynlndrama they can never make me like you 🔥🔥

↳ oscarpiastri no one cares or asked 🔥🔥

ynmylove it’s so sweet the way the guys defend y/n :((

liked by ynloml, charles_leclerc, yourbsfuser, ynlnofficial, oscarpiastri, ynmylove, ynfan101, ynmywifeyy and 104,289 others

ynlnupdates your honor they’re made for each other!! (the lyrics are so sweet i wanna cry)

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ynfan101 SO CUTENESS AHH

ynlnsucks 🤢🤢

yntheclown trigger warning next time

ynmywifeyy my fav couple

ynlnofficial future husband 💗💗

↳ ynlndrama until he runs out of money and you move onto the next rich guy

ynhatersclub she’s such an annoying person and is only acting like the victim for fame

yourbsfuser no one compares to them

charles_leclerc the literal love of my life ❤️❤️

ynlnupdates HELP NOT OSCAR LIKING

↳ ynmylove he’s the biggest y/ncharles supporter

↳ ynlnofficial he’s our child

↳ oscarpiastri 😁😁

—

taglist: @bibissparkles @reguluscrystals @maplesyrupsainz @distancedss @callsignwidow @exotic-iris13 @spitesfvl-blog

#charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #f1 x you #f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic

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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 3 months

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can you please make a fic of ethan with a squirting gf please 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Hi! I'm sorry it's taken me a while to get to this. I hope you like it!💕

Blackout - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: Trying to help a stressed out Ethan unwind leads to you doing something you'd never done before.

Contains: Per the obvious in the ask box, squirting lmao. Oral - m and f receiving.

A/N: this isn't super long. The one I post later will be for all of you that prefer those haha.

Ethan had some pent-up aggression from school, and you knew the perfect way to help him let it out. When he got home from the library, you could tell that he was stressed when he flopped down on the couch.

“You okay, baby?” you said, walking up behind him. You leaned over, your hands going to his chest as he relaxed into the couch at the simple touches. Your head nuzzled into his neck, his curls tickling your face.

“I just think I’m in over my head right now. I’m tutoring someone that doesn’t seem to care if he passes or fails. Like why the fuck am I wasting my time helping him when he doesn’t even care?” he sighed, “I have so much homework to worry about, and I’ve barely seen you for almost two weeks.”

“I’m sorry you’re so stressed, baby,” you said, your hands moving to his shoulders to massage them. “I’m here now, though.”

“I know, but I have three assignments due Sunday that I haven’t even started, so I still don’t really get to spend time with you like I want to,” he let out a light groan when your hands started to work on his neck. “Your hands are like magic.”

You smiled at his words as your hands kept moving. You loved to do whatever you could to help him relax, so you started to get an idea.

You pulled your hands away and walked around to the front of the couch. His eyes were barely opened as he looked at you.

“I think I know the perfect way to help you,” your tone was sweet, but your actions contradicted that when you sat beside him and started to unbutton his jeans. His eyes shot open as they connected with yours. “Do you want me to suck your cock, baby?” He nodded, his anticipation building as you slid his zipper down.

He was already half hard when you pulled it out of his boxers, your mouth salivating at the sight. His eyes shut again when you started to stroke him, his cock getting harder by the second.

You leaned down to lick the precum that started to drip out, humming “Mmm” as you tasted it. You started to lick him from base to tip, his breath hitching in his throat as your skilled tongue moved against him. When you took him in your mouth, his hands went to your hair.

“Fuck,” he groaned, as you took your time, working him inch by inch past your lips.

When you started to gag a little, the grip he had on your hair tightened. As you bobbed your head up and down, your spit was dripping down the rest of him that wouldn’t fit in your mouth. He knew you were able to take all of it though, like you had many times before. His hips started to thrust, the gagging making your throat tighten around him.

“Shit, just like that, baby,” he said, looking down to watch you. “You always do such a good job.”

You were already wet, but his praise made you crave attention to your clit. You tried to push past your own needs, just wanting to make him feel good.

“You gonna swallow all my cum?” he asked, making you whimper with him in your mouth. “You better let me eat your pussy after you’re done.”

You moaned, the vibrations coming from your throat making him groan.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he said, thrusting into your mouth a little faster. Within seconds, he started to release it. He stopped thrusting and let you continue to milk every last drop from him. “I don’t know what I like more…your mouth or your hands.”

You pulled him out of your mouth and started to laugh a little at his words, taking the blissed out expression on his face.

“Thank you, baby. I needed that,” he said, pulling you close to his chest as his breathing started to return to normal. You sat there for a few minutes in silence, just enjoying each other’s company. You couldn’t get over the throbbing feeling coming from your touch-starved pussy, squirming a little to get some friction. “Don’t think I forgot about you, baby,” he said, noticing your actions, “Let’s go to my room.”

You both quickly got up, him hot on your heels as you made it to his room. He pulled his shirt over his head before taking his pants off, as you started to strip, too. You didn’t want to waste time, knowing he had other things to worry about.

His focus was only on you, though, taking in your naked body as you stood in front of him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, nudging you back onto the bed.

You sat up on your elbows in anticipation for what his first move was going to be. He started to crawl on top of you and push you back the rest of the way before taking one of your nipples in his mouth. He started to suck on it, the pressure making you whimper. He moved to the other side, doing the same as your hand went to his hair.

He began to place open mouth kisses as he kissed down your body, his tongue swirling against your flesh as he got closer to where you needed him. When he settled in between your legs, his eyes connected to yours. He smirked at you before leaning his head down and placing gentle licks to your clit.

You were whimpering at how perfectly his tongue moved against your bundle of nerves, finally feeling a little relief. When he slid a finger in, and soon added another, the whimpers turned to moans. He angled them just right, rubbing against that spongey spot inside of you. He started to suck on your clit, a low moan slipping past your lips at the feeling.

“Fuck, that feels so good,” you mewled, your breathing getting faster as you started to feel your orgasm building.

He moved his fingers a little harder, as you started to make new sounds he’d never heard before, but he was determined to get you to keep making them. Your hips started to involuntarily move against him, your body desperate for your own release. When your whines got to a higher pitch, he started to slow his fingers, thinking he might’ve been hurting you.

“Are you o-“ he got out before you cut him off.

“No don’t fucking stop!” you yelled, “Ohhh fuuuck.”

Your vision was getting spotty as you felt your orgasm start to hit, your legs tingling at the intensity of it. He started to notice how wet you were, but it was way more that normal as you started to drip out around his fingers. When he slid his fingers out, you started to gush before he could put them back in.

“Holy fuck,” he said, taking in the wetness on your thighs, his hand, and the spot on his bed.

You couldn’t process your thoughts, your brain feeling like mush as you kept letting out shaky whimpers. Ethan watched you in awe as he waited for your breathing to return to normal. One you fully came back down, he started to run his hand along your bare thigh.

“Have you ever done that before?” he questioned, as you looked at him, confused.

“You mean, cum that hard? No,” you laughed, as he shook his head.

“No, baby, have you ever squirted before?” your eyes grew wide at his words, a blush creeping up on your cheeks.

“I didn’t know I could do that, I’m sorry,” you said shyly, not knowing how to react to it.

“Don’t be sorry, that was hot. I have to change the sheets now, but that’s no big deal,” he said, trying to lighten the mood as he noticed you were unsure how to feel. “But before I do, you think I could make you do that again?”

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #scream smut #ethan landry smut #smut #scream

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sunflower-lilac42 · 3 months

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✧ 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐒𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦 || luke hughes ♔

summary: her family was never there for her, but he was and will always be

warnings: crappy parents, family dynamics, feelings of being not worthy enough, dizziness/sickness, mentions of not eating, crying (kind of), band, definitely not fully proof read

publish date: 02/27/24

notes: hiiii, i feel like it's been forever since i posted a fic but it really hasn't. i have been working on this fic for a while, probably like a week or two, and now eight thousand words later, here it is. this didn't really follow my plan of how i wanted this fic to turn out but i started wiritng how they met and i got obsessed with it so... i hope you guys my projecting about band. for this they live about three hours from umich because i said so. oh right, psa: a shako is the hat that the band members wear! | add yourself to the taglist ➺ taglist!

nhl masterlist | main masterlist

Y/n always said she never minded, but Luke knew better. He knew that every time she looked out into those stands and saw the absence of her parents and siblings would always hurt her. She knew that marching band wasn’t the most entertaining thing in the world but the least they could do was be supportive. They sat through hours upon hours of baseball games where their sons wouldn’t even get a chance to go up to bat, they sat through hours and hours of concerts where they couldn’t even hear their daughters sing. But how come when it came to her, they wouldn’t spend even twenty minutes to see her on the field, a time they could actually see her do something?

Though, she told Luke over and over again that it didn’t bother her. She had her friends by her side who made the long Friday nights of football where their team would be getting crushed better, made basketball games where no one cared about whether or not they were there better, and made the excruciating heat better, which made the long bus rides and long days of competitions better. But who else was there to see that? No one, except that, was until she met Luke.

It was during their freshman year of high school, just as the football season was coming to a close and hockey season had started about two weeks ago. She was walking through the hallways on her way to the band hallway when she bumped into him, he was sweaty from the gym, his curls straightening out in the slightest. As soon as she saw him she was slightly star-struck, she wasn’t in the tiniest bit prepared for this to happen, “Hi. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” Luke thought she was pretty right off the bat, the way she seemed shy but talked loud, the way she fiddled with the bracelet around her wrist, the way her smile was awkward but genuine.

The two stood in silence and then the warning bell rang, signaling that there were now two minutes to get to class. Luke and y/n looked startled by the bell, both of them had spaced out while looking at each other, “Oh, what do you have next?”

She looked up at him, surprised by the question, “Lunch, technically. And you?”

“Oh weird, I have lunch too. How come I’ve never seen you there?”

“I have band right now until the season is over. We go out for a period and a half to work on the show and then we get the last half of next period to eat lunch.”

“You only get 20 minutes to eat lunch?”

She nodded, a smile growing on her face, “Yeah. Um, I should probably go, but it was nice to meet you.”

She ran off, not allowing Luke to properly introduce himself. He was going to call after her but she was gone before he could think about the words to say. He went the rest of the day thinking about the interaction and her, and she did too. She allowed herself to be delusional for once, thinking about what it would feel like to have a boyfriend and for him to show up to her events.

The next day, she found herself rushing to the band hallway, having left her last class late. She was just about there when she heard a voice call, “Hey!”

At first, she didn’t realize it was her that the voice was talking to. She hadn’t remembered the last time someone had actively sought her out. However, once the voice called again she stopped and looked around and saw Luke standing there with a smile on his face, “Hi.”

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“You have?” She looks confused and bewildered at the same time, moving to her locker to get her instrument.

He nods, leaning against the set of lockers next to her, “Yeah. For starters, I was wondering your name and if I could get your-”

He was cut off by a group of students coming up, saying excuse me so they could get to their lockers. She looks at him as her lock opens, handing it to him, “Thank you.”

She grabs her instrument and her shoes before grabbing the lock back and locking her locker. She ushers him to follow her, walking into the band room and throwing her stuff down. Luke talked to her as they walked, explaining how he wondered what her name was and if they could exchange numbers. Once again, she was taken by surprise and then saw her friends enter the room, “Um sure. What do you have next period?”

“Uh study hall.”

“Okay, cool. I’ll meet you in the library then?” She was changing her shoes and saw her friends approaching faster and faster, “See you later.”

She then pushed him out of the room through the nearest exit. Luke was lost as he was shoved into the hallway, watching her throw her hair into a ponytail as she walked away. He heard her tell her friends that she had forgotten a jacket and that she was going to freeze to death. He decided to wait for her, thinking about giving her the extra hoodie that he brought in case he forgot his own.

When she came walking out of the band room a few minutes later, he caught her arm and she turned around, “Hi?”

Her friends looked at her in amusement, eyebrows raising. They didn’t say anything, just walked away and left her there on her own, “I heard you say you were cold.”

“Um yeah, I’m fine though, thank you.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind giving you this,” he held out the hoodie and she gazed at it with curiosity.

“Really?”

He nodded, encouraging her to take it, “I’ll give it back to you next period.”

He shrugged it off, not too worried about if she did decide to keep it. She walked away, heading outside while putting the hoodie on. She smiled at it being too big, it must’ve been one he got from his brothers or got the wrong size in. As she caught up with her friends, she could hear them talking about the boy she had just been talking to, still not knowing his name.

“What is it?”

“That’s Luke Hughes!”

“Who?”

“Luke Hughes?”

“Not ringing any bell here.”

“He’s a really good hockey player, and so are his brothers. Quinn, his oldest, is supposed to be drafted in next year’s draft, he just started college this year. And Jack, he’s a junior right now, everybody is saying he’s supposed to be drafted in two years.”

“And you all know this because?”

“Because the Hughes brothers are hot y/n/n. Actually, hockey men are hot, but three brothers? Come on.”

Y/n rolled her eyes, placing her things down on the turf, “Did he give you his hoodie?”

“Yeah…?” Her friends squealed, ‘Guys it’s not a big deal. He probably doesn’t like me. Do you remember the last time I dated someone, let alone someone who I liked that liked me back?”

“Yes.” Her friends said in a deadpan voice, “You talk about it all the time.”

“Well, I just think it’s worth mentioning since he thought the Earth was flat! And then the other guy I liked made me cry at homecoming! There is no way in the world that Luke Hughes, who is who you say he is, would like me.”

The three friends eyed each other and then looked at y/n, “We’ll see about that.”

Band was slow that day as it usually was, they went over the one spot in song four that was troubling people the most. If they didn’t want them to struggle, they shouldn’t have given them choreography for eight counts right before a huge change in tempo and the hardest spot in the music. When it was over, she slugged her way back to the school, her legs ached and her arms too from holding up her instrument.

She put her things away, now walking to the library instead of going to lunch. She had work to do, and a test next period as well. When she got there she spotted Luke right away, he was scrolling on his phone and laughing every once in a while. She walked up to the table he sat out, placing her water bottle down and letting her backpack fall down to the ground with a thud. She plopped down into her chair with a groan and placed her head on her forearms.

Luke looked up from his phone from the moment the metal of her water bottle touched the table and watched the girl with amusement in his eyes, “Why hello there.”

“Hi.”

“Shouldn’t you be eating lunch?”

She sat up, “‘M not hungry. Plus I have to study for a test next period.

He nodded, shoving his phone into his pocket, “You want help?”

“Sure.” Y/n reached into her backpack and pulled out the green folder, “Bio?”

“The actual fucking death of me.”

Luke helped her study for the next twenty minutes, stopping occasionally just to look at her. The librarian was watching from afar, silently admiring the two. She knew that the two were going to end up together, there was something about the way Luke looked at her even if they had just met the day before. When she announced that there were five minutes left of the period, y/n started packing up and thanked Luke for his help.

“No problem, now I think you still owe me your number.”

“Oh right, give me.” She held out her hand for his phone to which he placed it in her hand.

She typed her number in and saved her contact name as ‘Y/n’ with a teddy bear emoji, “Why a teddy bear?”

“I don’t know, it was the first emoji I thought of.” Luke shrugged and texted her so she’d have his number too, “Save mine as Lukey with the honey emoji!”

“Honey?”

“Yes?”

“You’re a dork. No but actually why the honey emoji?”

“So that way our contact emojis are Winnie the Pooh,”

“That is the cutest and stupidest thing I have ever heard.” She stood up and immediately felt dizzy.

She placed a hand on the table and closed her eyes, “Are you okay?”

“Uh yeah, just a little dizzy. I’ll be fine.”

Lule looked at her apprehensively, he knew she wasn’t but he let it go. He walked her to class, neither of them noticing she was still wearing his sweatshirt, and wished her luck on the test. Over the next week and a half, the two texted each other non-stop with random updates on their lives and random conversations. It was now the next Thursday, a day before the last game of the season and everyone was excited as it was the rivalry game.

Luke and y/n sat next to each other outside after school, she had rehearsal later in the evening and Luke had said he wanted to stay with her. Jack had already left and he wasn’t going to leave her there alone. They sat at the picnic table outside of the school, she was working on homework as Luke scrolled on his phone occasionally glancing up at her.

She didn’t eat lunch again today and he wasn’t sure if it was because she wasn’t hungry or because she didn’t want to. When he noticed her eyes dropping he grew more concerned, “You okay?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m good. Why?”

“I don’t know, you just look like you’re not okay.”

“I should probably eat something, haven’t been able to yet.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t eat breakfast, it makes me sick and lunch well after band and only have twenty minutes to eat, my appetite is practically non-existent.”

“You wanna walk to the store?”

“Sure.”

The two got up and set out to the store, making jokes along the way. She was wearing one of Luke’s sweatshirts, he had given it to her earlier today when he found out she had once again forgotten her own. Luke had only met her a week ago and he was protective of her. There was something about her that just made him want to shield her from everything harmful that could come her way.

Luke offered to pay for her food as they checked out but she declined even after giving minutes of them just standing there and Luke pestering her. An old lady who was checking out next to them looked at them fondly, “You should let him pay, dear. It’s not every day that someone is going to come around begging for you to let them pay.”

Y/n felt butterflies appear in her stomach, looking between the lady and up at Luke. She finally nodded, accepting her fate and letting Luke pay. She thanked him endlessly as they walked back to the school, linking arms with him as she could feel herself getting dizzy again, “So what are you doing this weekend, Hughes?”

“Hockey probably, but I’d have to look. What about you?”

“We got a band competition, it’s kind of like state for us.”

“Oh, that’s cool.”

She shrugged, not really wanting to go, “It’s gonna be a long day and my- never mind.”

“No, what is it?”

She shook her head, sitting down and taking the food out of her bag. Luke looked at her confused, saddened by her sudden mood drop. He could tell that she didn’t want to talk about it but he was nosey, and he really wanted to know, “Come on. You can tell me.”

She sighed, “All of my friends’ parents are going and my parents don’t even bother to show up to football games. They only bother to show up for the kids that could do something successful.”

Luke was foreign to the way she was feeling, well for the most part. He didn’t know what it was like for his parents to not show up for games, sure they couldn’t come to every game but they came to games that they could make it for and the important ones. He understood what it felt like to be overshadowed, however, not that he really was. It was more of a thought rather than an actuality.

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you feel sorry for me. Don’t, please.”

“I’m not.” She raised an eyebrow but stopped the conversation.

“How are you getting home tonight?”

“My friend is taking me.”

“Let me take you.”

“Luke, you can’t even drive.”

“No I know that but I’ll stay here and then-”

She laughed, interrupting him, “You are not going to stay here for another two and a half hours, Luke.”

“And why not?”

“Because you have to go home, I’m surprised you even offered to stay here with me until rehearsal started.”

“But I want to be.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I just want to be there for you.”

She gave him an awkward smile, shocked once again by his actions and words. She pondered about what to do, she didn’t want him to have to stay later than he already had offered. On the other hand, it felt nice knowing that someone wanted to be there for her, to go to her activities for her even if it was just a practice.

She carefully eyed him up and down, “Okay, but keep in mind I wasn’t the one who made you stay.”

He smiled and held his hands up in surrender. He followed her as she walked through the school to the band room, stopping at her locker to grab her instrument and other things. He followed her through the band room and out the doors to the football field, looking like a lost puppy. She sat with her friends as they waited for football practice to be over, Luke sitting behind her on his phone.

“So, why is he here?”

“Why is who here?”

Her friends gestured with their heads to the boy who sat a couple of feet behind them, “Him.”

“Oh, I don’t know. He said he wanted to come.”

“Oh my god, y/n! This means you can finally get over-”

“Shut up. He doesn’t like me and I don’t like him, it’s simple. Plus, I haven’t liked… you know who, for a while. I don’t even think I liked him in the first place.”

“Uh huh, sure. You are in delusion, my friend. And you have convinced yourself that neither of you has feelings for each other. No one wants to be at a band rehearsal, not even the people in band want to be here, and Luke Hughes wants to be here? For you?”

“It’s nothing, can we just drop it?”

“Yeah, yeah. So I heard that Sydney and Max were having sex in the practice rooms.”

Y/n spit out her water causing Luke to look up from his phone, slightly chuckling, “You what?”

“So is this what you guys do all the time before practice?”

“Rehearsal. And if by ‘this’ you mean sitting around and talking about the band drama, yes.”

“Am I allowed to be let in on it or is it strictly like ‘band kids’ only.”

One of y/n’s friends looked at him, “Don’t call us band kids. And of course, you can join us. Any friend of our dear y/n is welcome.”

Y/n glared at the girl as she heard Luke moving closer. Luke felt bold as he wrapped an arm around the girl’s waist, watching as her eyes widened. She didn’t say anything, didn’t move, she just sat there slightly terrified. She looked in between her friends who smirked at her in response. Luke sat there smug, waiting for them to start talking, “So. What’s this about who and who had sex in the practice rooms?”

✧༺✎༻∞

Luke could honestly say this was the longest he had willingly gone without his phone, including hockey practice. He had sat in the stands the whole time, eyes trained on y/n no matter where she went. If she was backfield, that’s where he would be staring, if she was on the left side of the field, that’s where he would be staring.

He watched as she grew increasingly tired from the multiple reps of just one move they made them do, he honestly thought he could do it himself at this point. He was in awe, really, he never knew how much time and effort the band put in to do a seven-minute show for people who didn’t care about it. Everyone looked exhausted and he wasn’t sure if they were just done with band or just actually tired, or both.

There was one moment during rehearsal when he saw y/n lug herself over to where the band directors were and talk with them. A minute after that he watched as she took a seat on the bench and watched her fellow band members. He was confused and worried, wanting nothing more than to walk over there and ask her what was wrong but he promised her that he wouldn’t interrupt her no matter what.

She was embarrassed, she had felt his eyes on her the whole time. She didn’t know why he wanted to be here, it gave her an unfamiliar feeling in her stomach, one of feeling important for once. Her friends made little nudges and jokes at her for the three hours they were on the field, only shutting up when they were yelled at. When they were talking at the end of rehearsal, she couldn’t help but continue to look over at him, causing her to be startled when she realized she was picked to give the speech today.

“Hi everyone! Um, good rehearsal tonight, this season has been absolutely amazing and I hope you all feel the same way. I don’t think there’s anything else to say other than tomorrow is game day!” She paused as everyone whooped around her, “And we have our competition on Saturday so let’s make these next few runs of the show our best, and let’s go home because I’m tired.”

They all listened as the band directors gave their final announcements, call time for Friday and Saturday, the itinerary, and whatnot. When it was over, Luke met her at the entrance of the gate and reached out to take something of hers but she shook her head, “I’m good, thank you though.”

He awkwardly pulled his hands back and nodded, walking beside her into the school, “Are you sure your brother is okay with taking me home? I don’t want to inconvenience you guys and Stella said it was okay to take me home.”

He shook his head, “Of course, you can. You’re not inconveniencing anyone. I promise.”

She gave him a genuine smile, “Thank you, Luke.”

“Anytime.”

She put her things away, saying goodbye to her friends before walking out of the school with Luke. They stood at the entrance, Luke trying to spot his brother’s car, and when he did he turned to her, “Just give me one moment.”

She nodded, confusion written on her face as she watched him run over to the car.

“Hey, I thought we were taking your girlfriend home.”

“One, not my girlfriend. And two, can you please not embarrass me or her? She’s really uncomfortable around new people.”

Jack could see the way his younger brother was panicking, “Yeah, sure.”

Luke thanked him and then ran back over to y/n, taking hold of her hand and dragging her to the car. He opened up the back passenger side door and allowed her to climb in, him climbing in after her. She looked between him and the front seat, “I thought you would’ve sat up there.”

“Trust me, I know how awkward it is to ride in the back of someone’s car when you only know one person.”

The car was silent for a minute, y/n trying to think of something to say besides directing Jack to her house. She figured she should probably say thank you to him even though everything else in her was yelling at her not to. She was never the best at making conversation with people, let alone with people she didn’t know.

“Thank you for taking me home, I’m sorry it was such a last-minute thing.”

Jack glanced up at her through the rearview mirror, “No problem, honestly.”

She gave him an awkward smile, nodding and redirecting her gaze to outside the car window. Luke’s hand slowly made its way over to her lap as he took ahold of her hand again. She didn’t move her head, simply just squeezing his hand back as a thank you.

When they got to her house, she thanked Jack once again before getting out of the car. Luke jumped out and told his brother to wait for him as he went to talk to her, “Hey!”

She stopped in her tracks at the voice and turned around, arms coming to wrap themselves around her as she shivered from the cold, “What’s up?”

“I’m going tomorrow.”

“To where?”

“You’re game.”

Her cheeks reddened at the confession, “It’s not my game.”

He threw his head back and groaned, “You know what I mean.”

She giggled a little, “Yeah. You don’t have to Luke, I mean you came to our practice which was more than enough for me. You didn’t even have to come for that.”

He took both of her hands this time into his own, “I know but I really want to. Pleaseeeeee.”

“Okay fine. But no complaining again.”

“Aye aye, captain.”

He saluted her as she walked up the steps to her door, making sure she got in okay before even thinking of turning back to the car. On the way home, Jack made digs at his brother for being whipped for the girl he had only known for a little more than a week. When it went quiet for two minutes, Luke mulled over the idea of her competition on Saturday and what she had told him.

“Do you think Mom and Dad would let me go to y/n’s competition on Saturday?”

“Depends on where it is.” Jack turned onto their street, not even bothering to glance at him until he said where it was.

“Michigan?!”

“What? It’s not that far.”

“Dude it’s three hours!”

“Okay, but we can see Quinn too.”

Jack eyed him carefully, “You can ask them but don’t expect a yes.”

✧༺✎༻∞

“Can we please go?”

“Luke.” Ellen’s tone was sympathetic but stern as she talked to him, “We can’t just drive three hours, especially on this short notice to a band competition. I mean we haven’t even met this girl, have we?”

“No, but. I figured we could make a little trip out of it! We can see Quinn and you guys can hang out with him while I’m there so that way you don’t have to sit through bands because I know for a fact that you don’t want to. And plus, I know you haven’t met her but she’s super nice, Mom.”

Ellen looked conflicted but Luke’s next words broke her heart and tipped her over the edge, “She has no one going to support her.”

“Fine, we can go. But this is the last time you can ask us for stuff for a while.”

“What?!”

The three laughed as they heard Jack’s shocked voice echo through the house.

✧༺✎༻∞

Luke sat happily with a few of his friends at the football game, two sweatshirts on due to the cold. The stands were packed with parents and students and siblings as they cheered on their football team, yelling out random chants at the other team. There was a clashing of colors as some of the rival school’s people made their way over to their side of the stands. On the opposite side of the field, the opposing team’s student section was packed to the brim, almost filling up half of the stands.

He sat on the edge of the student section, right where there was caution tape separating the band and the rest of the student population. He had glanced over there a few times, trying to find y/n but he had no look. Finally, when someone he knew was close enough he yelled out her name, “Stella!”

Stella, one of y/n’s friends turned her head quickly and her eyes immediately landed on Luke, “Hi, Luke. What brings you to this fine occasion?”

“Where’s y/n?”

Stella somewhat grimaced, “Last I heard she wasn’t feeling well and was on her way to the bathroom.”

Luke’s eyes flooded with concern, “Is she okay?”

She merely shrugged and went to say something but one of her friends came up and joined the conversation, “Hey guys!”

The two-eyed Lee who was frankly too happy to be at a high school football game, “Have you seen y/n?”

“Oh yeah! She was getting some water, and said she felt better. I think she was coming up-”

“Hi.”

The three then looked at the girl who stood awkwardly, her hair sweaty in her high ponytail from being in the shako for too long. She looked paler than normal, her eyes looked tired and were accompanied by the dark circles beneath them, “I didn’t actually think you would come.”

He stood up, looking around him before climbing over the caution tape, “Of course I did.”

Stella and Lee walked off, leaving the two to talk amongst themselves, “Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah, I just get nervous for games and get extremely drained.”

He nodded, watching as she flipped through her music to find the song they were supposed to be playing the next time they were able to play, “What’s that?”

“It’s my flip folder, it holds all of our stand tunes that we play during timeouts or between quarters or whenever the play stops. How come you're so interested all of a sudden?”

“I was just curious.” He held his hands up in surrender and she laughed, “Such a dork.”

Throughout the game, Luke listened to her play in awe, he could tell her voice was becoming more and more horse as she screamed and cheered. He didn’t realize how much the band actually contributed during games, they definitely did more than the student section did, that was for sure. When they left for halftime, she made Luke hold her things which he didn’t mind doing.

He watched their performance intently, his eyes moving to wherever y/n was standing. He realized that most people had left during halftime, especially during the band’s performance and he couldn’t understand why. The band was pretty good, definitely better than their football team. When they were done, he watched as she somewhat stumbled off the field, not sure if she was tired, excited, or sick.

She was hugging her friend's arm tightly, “I can’t believe that was our last halftime of the year.”

“Hey, we still got three more years of this left.”

“Ugh, I know. Don’t remind me.”

“So how’s your little boyfriend up there?”

Y/n’s eyes widened, “Not my boyfriend!”

“Okay, seriously, y/n/n. When was the last time you saw anybody’s boyfriend or girlfriend or partner that wasn’t in band go to a football game, let alone a practice?” She merely shrugged, wanting nothing more than to stop this conversation.

“When you realize I’m right, I’ll be waiting to say ‘I told you so’.”

She groaned, “Stop. Please. I just want to enjoy the friendship, I haven’t had one like this in years.”

“Okay.”

✧༺✎༻∞

After the game she found Luke standing on the steps to the school. She was shocked, she thought he would’ve already gone home due to the time. She sat down beside him and nudged his shoulder, “Hey.”

Luke looked up quickly, a smile making its way onto his face, “Hi.”

“What are you still doing here?”

“Partially I’m waiting for you but also I have to wait for Jack or my mom.”

She nodded, understanding. She was too tired to care that her head was slowly leaning to one side, ultimately giving up and letting it rest on his shoulder. Luke was shocked by the added pressure on his shoulder but didn’t mind it, truthfully.

He smiled down at her and looked for the car, “How are you getting home?”

She let out a yawn as she tried to answer, “I don’t know.”

Luke looked at her bewildered, “You don’t know?!”

She nodded, still keeping her head on his shoulder, “Yeah.”

“You want us to take you home?”

“No, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“Too bad. You’re coming with us.”

This time she didn’t protest and just waited for him to say that whoever was here to pick him up was here. Luke debated on whether or not to tell her that he was going to go tomorrow. He decided to be quiet, formulating a plan on how to surprise her tomorrow. His mom pulled up a few minutes later, watching as he soon lightly shook the girl who was leaning on him awake.

Luke helped y/n to the car, allowing her to get in first like he did the previous night, “Hi Mrs. Hughes. I’m y/n. I’m so sorry about this, I wasn’t planning on your son being so persistent about taking me home.”

At this Ellen chuckled, “Of course he was. It’s no problem, honey.”

Y/n directed Ellen to her house, making small talk with her as a way to keep her awake, “So, Luke tells me you have a competition tomorrow.”

She side-eyed Luke before answering, “Yeah, at the University of Michigan. It’s kind of like state for band I guess.”

Ellen nodded, “Did Luke tell you we are going there too this weekend?”

“No, he did not.”

“Yes, well, his older brother goes there and we figured it would be nice to go visit him.”

“Oh that’s cool, I didn’t know that.”

She pulled into the driveway a few minutes after that and the two said goodbye to one another and Luke, like last night, walked her to the door, “Why didn’t you tell me you were going there?”

“I was going to surprise you actually.”

She looked at him suspiciously, “Well, if you have time, let me know and you should come see us.”

“Are you telling me to come watch you guys?” He said teasingly.

“Just this once.”

“I’ll be there.”

✧༺✎༻∞

At the stadium the next day, y/n had found Luke after they performed and they sat together as they watched the rest of the bands perform and the awards. Despite having just done a 7-minute show in her band uniform, she was cold and her sweatshirt provided the least amount of warmth.

Luckily, Luke had brought an extra sweatshirt and a blanket just for this, knowing how much she got cold. She took it gratefully, wasting no time in throwing it on. Luke asked her questions about certain things in the others’ performances, what songs they were, and what moves they were doing. At one point they got bored and started writing in different show names in the programs for each band.

When awards came around, she was getting increasingly tired, “I have a question.”

“Go for it.”

“Do you wanna meet my family?”

Y/n looked at him with wide eyes, “Meet your what?”

“My family. Well, you’ve already met Jack and my mom but Quinn and my dad you haven’t.”

“Luke…”

“What?”

She held tears in her eyes as she thought over his words. Luke frowned when he noticed the tears, “What’s wrong?”

“Luke, we've only known each other for what? A week and a half at best?”

“Yeah…?”

“I guess, I just don’t understand why you want me to meet them.”

“Because you’re amazing. And like you said, I know I’ve only known you for a week and a half, but you are truly one of the best friends, if not the best friend, I have ever had. You’re talented, smart, funny, and I love spending time with you.”

She looked at him shocked, not knowing what to say. No one had said this to her before, and if they had it wasn’t to this extent. Luke was truly perfect in her opinion, he was nice, charming, funny, cute, supportive, and he was everything she would ever want. However, she knew him liking her was never a possibility, she had to push that to the back of her mind, the furthest away.

She gave him an awkward smile, unsure of how this conversation was going to continue. She was still taken aback by his previous confession, about wanting to meet his family. She loved her family, she really did, but Luke’s family sounded amazing, like heaven. She hadn’t felt a part of her family in months, maybe she would feel like family with his. That thought seemed to be a bit much, she didn’t think she would fit in with anyone, it was by pure luck that she found Luke.

When the two had sat in silence for five minutes, Luke gave her a little shove, “Hey. Everything okay?” The desperate want to ask her what was going on in her beautiful mind was bugging him, he wanted to reach out and push the stray hair out of her face, wipe away her tears, and pull her into a death-gripping hug.

She only nodded, using the sleeve of his her sweatshirt to wipe away the stray tear that had made its way down her face. Luke had felt his face permanently stuck in a worried look when he was around her and this moment wasn’t any different. Just when he was about to say something, the announcer rang out through the speakers, “And with that, it is time for our awards! Thank you to everyone who came out and let’s get this started with class single A!”

She turned to face the field, ignoring Luke’s eyes that she felt glaring at her on the side of her head. She listened to the awards, little to no thoughts running through her head until they got to their division. They went through the typical awards you get at every competition, best drum major, best visual, best general effect, etc., before getting into placement awards.

While she wasn’t expecting them to place in general with all the schools that were there, she was a little heartbroken when they didn’t get third or second. All of them knew that there was no possible way that they could get first, they were hopeful, sure, but realistic even more. So when they announced their high school not only first but as grand champion, everyone from the school was ecstatic.

Luke immediately brought her into a hug, not even thinking. He was so proud of her, and the rest of them, but mostly her. She grinned when she felt his arms wrap around her, not even bothering to be embarrassed. She hugged him back with the same amount of strength that he gave her.

They met up with Luke’s family outside the stadium, she was now tired, the day’s events finally catching up with her. Luke had to wrap an arm around her to keep her upright as they walked to the car. Ellen greeted the girl with a smile as she stepped out of the car and opened her arms for a hug. Y/n was taken aback, she had met this woman two days ago and she was now just giving her a hug so easily.

She hugged her back nonetheless, “How was the competition, sweetheart?”

“It was good. We won grand champions.”

“Oh honey, that’s incredible! I’m sorry we couldn’t make it.”

She shrugged it off, she was used to her family not showing up and she hadn’t even met the whole family properly so why would she think they would, “It’s okay.”

“Well, we’re going out to dinner if you want to come, maybe? I know Luke said that your way back is with the rest of the kids but we are more than happy to take you home ourselves.”

Her eyes widened at the position, “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a-”

“Shush. You’re not a burden, y/n/n.” Luke’s hand squeezed her shoulder as a way of reassuring her.

“Okay then. I guess Luke’s going to kidnap me anyway.”

“Damn right, I am,” Luke mumbled but Ellen still caught it, smacking him on the arm.

Y/n grinned as she watched the interaction, trying to stifle a laugh. Luke rolled his eyes and opened the back door, “Y/n/n you already know Jack but this is my eldest brother Quinn.”

She gave him a small wave, the nerves presenting themselves once again. Quinn waved back, giving her a smile, “And this is my dad.”

“Hi, Mr. Hughes.”

Jim turned to her and smiled much like his son, “Hi.”

The two climbed into the car, sitting in the back. Her head immediately found its place on his shoulder, drifting off to the sound of the family softly talking as they drove to wherever they were heading to. Luke smiled down at her, and in that moment, it made Luke realize more than ever that he wanted to be there for her forever.

✧༺✎༻∞

Throughout their high school years, Luke went to every football game he could manage to go to, every competition he could, every practice he could, even going to the few basketball games she had to perform at. Junior year, he drove himself to her competition at the University of Michigan, being able to drive them back home without having to worry about his parents.

Luke wasn’t the only one who showed up. The Hughes family had taken a liking to her ever since they met her and Ellen and Jim had practically adopted her from the moment they took her home from the competition freshman year. Jack tagged along with Luke to the games when he was still in high school, sometimes Ellen and Jim would show up too. They all went to their graduation not only for Luke but for y/n as well, it’s rumored that they cheered louder for her than for Luke.

Luke asked her out a month after asking her to homecoming. Everyone said his homecoming and prom proposals were a force to be reckoned with. He always had a way to surprise her and upstage everyone. In sophomore year for homecoming, he got the band to play ‘hey baby’ and he asked her with a poster that said ‘hey baby. I wanna know if you’ll be my date to Hoco.’ Junior year for prom he got a punch of hockey pucks and spelled out ‘Prom?’.

On the flip side, y/n had made it her mission to support Luke just as much as he supported her. She went to practically every game of his, cheering him on whether or not he got a goal, assist, or just sat on the bench. She wore his sweatshirts at every game, which most of them had belonged to her at that point anyway. Admittedly, there were a few times when Quinn or Jack’s hoodies made their way into the pile because Luke had “accidentally” stolen them from them.

Much like they were there for her, y/n was also there for Jack and Quinn. She was at Quinn’s draft because they had all but begged her to come and the same with Jack. That was the first time she felt part of the family. She would go with them to UMich when they would go see Quinn. She spent the majority of her time with them since that weekend.

They went to University of Michigan together, where they both continued to give each other their unwavering support. He went to ‘her’ football games and she went to his hockey games, the ones that she was not performing at, which were her favorites, and Luke’s as well. When Luke realized that she would be playing at his games he had been so excited. Every time he got a goal when she was there with the band, he would point over to her and her friends would fawn over their relationship.

She was there for his draft, sitting right next to him but out of the way so he could celebrate with his brothers. She was there for the playoff games once she had finished school and he was overjoyed by her being there. As much as she wanted to be there for his debut and for his rookie season, Luke made her stay at school, not even so much as allowing her to think about it.

Long distance for them was hard, but they made it work. When they were in Detroit or Columbus, she would drive to see him play. Over winter break, she would fly out to Jersey to spend her time with him. Luke took it harder than she did, to be honest. She was used to being alone in some sort of way, her experiences and feelings with her family had not gone away. But for Luke, it was a different story.

Sure he had his brother there by his side but his best friend, his girlfriend, his world wasn’t there beside him like she had been for the past four years. It was a different dynamic not being able to see her in the stands, not being able to celebrate with her after games or pig out on food at a restaurant after practice, not being able to curl up next to her when they lost or he was in a slump.

After she graduated, she moved out to Jersey with him, knowing that she would follow him anywhere. Luke was grateful but hesitant at first, not wanting to alter any of her plans. She insisted and said he had done so much for her that this was the least she could do to repay him. Luke asked her to marry him a year later and he incorporated his two favorite proposals of all time.

He gathered a shit ton of pucks to spell out “Will You Marry Me?” on a football field and got a marching band, who in hindsight y/n had no clue how he got in the first place, to play ‘Hey Baby’ as he gave her his speech. She was crying within seconds and Luke knew she would too. Ellen and Jim walked her down the aisle since she was no longer in contact with her own family.

There were a multitude of things that changed with them, a multitude of fights that they got into, but one thing never changed. The way were each other’s support systems, and they would be forever and ever.

✧༺✎༻∞

✎ BONUS ⇘ : :

Luke was nervous, it had been creeping up on a year since he met y/n and 11 months since he realized he liked her. They had been flirting like teenagers because they were, but it was a sight to see, to say the least. Everyone had said they acted like a couple and accused the two of liking each other but every time the two brushed off the accusations like they were nothing.

Now he was sitting with some of her friends and one of the drum majors to explain his plan. This was his only chance to do it, they only had one game before homecoming and it happened to be two weeks before the homecoming game. He would’ve done it earlier but he needed everything to be perfect, and plus, y/n hated dress shopping anyway so she would probably just order something from Amazon or pull something out of the back of the closet.

Her friends agreed instantly, claiming they hadn’t seen their friend be so happy and giggly in a long time. So when the time came around, he was dressed in whatever the theme was for the game. He looked a little crazy but that was him, and y/n loved that side of him. His poster included her favorite colors and doodles, the words were as straight as they were going to get.

It was in between the first and second quarter and the drum major had told them they were playing ‘Hey Baby’ and everyone except for y/n was on edge, wanting this to be perfect. When it started, she noticed nothing different, everyone was clapping but when they started singing, she noticed everyone’s tone was happier.

She felt a nudge to her side and she looked up, noticing Luke now standing on the drum major podium, his poster high above his head, “Y/n! Will you go to homecoming with me?!”

She stared at him with wide eyes, embarrassment flooding her whole body. Everyone looked at her expectantly and cheered when she said yes. When he got down, he made his way over to her, everyone clapping him on the back.

“You are crazy, Luke Hughes.”

“Crazy for you.” She pushed his head away from her and laughed, “Dork.”

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

if your name is crossed out it means i couldn't tag you

#sunny lune writes #luke hughes #lh43 #luke hughes x reader #nj devils #hockey nhl

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moral-terpitude · 2 years

Text

Fourth Time’s the Charm

summary | Tommy’s wife wants a baby girl.

pairing | tommy shelby x wife!reader

warnings | allusion to post-partum depression, talk of miscarriage, smut, creampie, unprotected sex

author's note | I’ve never wrote anything “x reader” and wanted to give it a shot. I don’t feel 100% about how it turned out, but here it is anyway.

word count | 2,365

Requested part two can be found here.

[Masterlist]

——

Some days, your husband wouldn’t listen when you told him three children were enough.

You both already had your hands full with the three dark haired Shelby boys you had given him, that ran around and caused a ruckus from the time they woke to the time they slept, no matter what chores they were given, who they were sent with, or what the season was.

They were 8, 7, and 5-years-old, and it felt like for each month of the last five years that Tommy hadn’t seen you pregnant that he was trying to convince you for one more baby.

However, on a night like tonight, in a snowed in house, with a fire lit in your bedroom, his words had a chance of coaxing you.

For the most part, because you knew, deep down, that, yes, you wanted a girl. Each time you fell pregnant, no matter how happy you both were that you were able to give your husband another happy healthy baby, there was a tinge of disappointment those first few months, that you had birthed another boy.

That was until time passed, and you felt back to yourself, and you got to see that twinkle in his eye as he held them and helped you raise them that you realized, another boy was good, and you’d love them just the same.

The other reason you knew, that on a night like tonight, in a snowed in house, with a fire lit in your bedroom, his words had a chance of coaxing you, was because for the first time in so long, you were alone.

You had realized a pattern, as you lay in the tub thinking about the day, amongst other things, that each time that Tommy had planted another child inside you, you had been having a nice night together, alone.

Actually, each time it had been a calm day as today had been, followed by a night spent enjoying each other as much as you could.

And today had been one of those quiet days, as Ada had taken all three boys, bless her, to stay with her to give Karl a chance to spend time with his cousins. For the whole week actually they would be gone with their aunt.

You and Tommy had spent the day, well, he spent it working, and you spent it with your legs over the side of the leather chair in his office, alternating between a needlepoint and a new book.

After dinner you’d taken a nap while he kept working, and now you were in the bath. The water was warm and the room as dark, as the only light you had brought had been a candle.

You listened as the door opened and closed to your bedroom, followed by the sound of your husband setting his shoes in the closet, and hanging up his jacket.

You counted his steps to the door before he knocked twice, then opening it. He leaned in the door frame as he observed the parts of your body that were submerged and exposed from the scalding hot water.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding from me, eh?” He smiled as he removed the braces from his shoulders that held up his trousers and untucked the white shirt as he approached the tub across the cold tile.

“You call it hiding,” you said as he discarded the garments in a pile with yours, “I call it waiting.”

“Well,” his rough fingers met your shoulder as he traced the curve of your arm along the side of the tub before linking his fingers with yours, hot breath finding your neck as he planted a kiss behind your ear, “Mrs. Shelby, if you make room I’ll join you.”

The rough tone of his voice cropped up goose pimples on your exposed flesh and you moved forward and let him join you in the water.

As you leaned back against his chest, he let out a content sigh as his hands rested on your stomach.

There was silence for awhile, as you listened to his breathing and, if you placed your head just right against him, his heart beat. Moments like these were few and far between, and made you fall in love with him a little bit more each time.

“I’ve been thinking,” you whispered as one of his hands, in the water, traced the ghost marks in your flesh, a sign of growth and retraction, mothering and carrying of children burned into your skin, and his other hand wove its fingers between yours, light flickering off of two golden bands next to each other, “maybe, we can try for a girl.”

You heard the blip of his heart skipping a beat as your words caught him off guard and his fingers gave yours a squeeze and he took a deep breath. “Yeah?”

The excitement in his voice he tried to repress just a tad. He knew, from the last three children that, if the trend continued, you’d be absolutely insatiable for nine months.

His hands wandered your body before speaking, one hand moving to your breast, to squeeze the nipple, while the other dipped between your thighs. While the sensation in the water of him lightly pressing your clit wasn’t the best, as the water just didn’t work the same way as your own wetness would, it still felt good.

With a squeeze of your shoulder he whispered in your ear, “Let’s get out, yeah?”

With a nod you stood as the water dripped down your body, before he leaned past you to retrieve and wrap you in the soft towel. Now, not that he usually wasn’t always, but now you figured would be soft with you. Gentle.

As the water drained and you dried yourself and collected a towel for him, a sad thought popped into your head.

“You have to promise me something, Tommy,” as the words began to leave your lips you almost regretted them, knowing that if there was an answer to the question, you didn’t want to hear it. “You have to promise me, that you won’t let some of those men that you’ve subjected yourself to rub off on you.”

He quirked an eyebrow as he waited for you to continue, “I don’t need to know, but I tell you now, I can’t bring a daughter into this world and teach her she needs to be respected by men if I have her father out with other women behind my back.”

He closed the short distance between you, a somber look upon his face with a slow shake of his head, before wrapping you in strong arms, “There’s no one but you, love.”

His words quieted the noises and chaos inside your mind as you found your head resting against his chest.

His fingers traced unidentifiable patterns on your back. The smell of his skin seemingly was always tainted by a touch of whiskey, a cigarette snuck in at some point recently, and his aftershave. But you loved it. It was comforting. Him, undeniably.

He pulled from you slightly to turn your chin and capture your lips in his. As he held your face his free hand crept down your back and over your ass to play with the wetness that was already escaping your warm cunt.

You did your best to wrap your leg loosely around him, allowing him better access to pump his fingers in and out of you.

He pulled his lips from yours moving to your neck as your hands splayed and clenched against his chest.

“Relax,” the word was a quiet breath whispered into your ear. He was well aware of your hesitation to relax and just express fully how you were feeling. You were stressed between children, and maids, and the constant company of the house that someone, anyone, would come barging in.

He sucked and nipped and licked at your neck, until finally you had convinced yourself that surely no one would interrupt the two of you on a night where all your children were away.

Shyly, a moan escaped you lips as your face was pressed against his shoulder. It was a wonderful noise to touch his ears as you felt his length continue to grow, pressed against your stomach.

He removed his fingers from you, wet trailing across your flesh as he brought both hands to your hips. The candlelight flittered and flicked and sent wild shadows across his face as he watched you.

“Should probably move to the bed,” the way his eyes roamed you made you feel as if he was taking you in for the first time, “doesn’t seem right to try and conceive a child with you bent over the sink.”

You were flush as you thought about Adam, the middle of the three, knocking at the locked bathroom door a few weeks ago as Tommy pounded into you, sounds muffled by your skirt and his slacks, as your son mused that he couldn’t find daddy anywhere.

You had yelled to him through gritted teeth and fingers grasping the porcelain and the faucet to take his brothers and go check the stables.

“Not just any child, Tommy, a girl.”

He smiled as he sat at the head of the bed, pulling you onto his lap, as his hands found your hips again.

“How do you know it’ll be a girl, eh?” He smiled as his hands squeezed you.

You guided him inside you, relaxing your legs, slowly, to take him fully before speaking.

“Because, all of you Shelby’s, as far as I can tell, have a curse.”

He quirked an eyebrow before bucking his hips up into you when you didn’t lower yourself all the way to meet him. “A curse?”

Your hands gripped his shoulders as you moved yourself on and off of him, the wet between your thighs growing more pronounced as your breasts bounced and the head of his cock cascaded every ridge inside of you, moans passing between both of your lips before his strong hands held you in place as you took him whole inside you again.

“Tell me, Mrs. Shelby,” one hand stayed on your hip while the other gently tickled your stomach, resting there as he pictured you filled with his seed and growing his child once again, before his blue eyes, alight with some kind of fire, met yours “what is this curse you think we have?”

You squirmed against him, rocking your hips just enough to feel him hit somewhere just further than the deepest part of you, with a gasp as he pushed further, the words choked out of you in the midst of a moan you weren’t anticipating, “Three boys.”

His brow furrowed as he pulled the both of you around just right so you landed gently on the pillow and he now lay between your legs, looking down at you. “Three boys?”

“It takes three boys to get a girl,” you explained as he slowly pulled himself out of you, and you watched the breath he took as your fingers skritched and played with the short hair at the back of his neck.

He pushed back into you slowly but you could see his thoughts were elsewhere now.

“You three,” you said as you poked him on the end of his nose and he leaned forward to kiss you fingers, “then Ada. Our three. Ada only has Karl,—”

He interrupted you, as if wanting to prove you wrong, “John didn’t have three boys with Martha.”

Maybe, maybe, the men in their family didn’t speak of these things outside of their houses. “She lost a baby, Tom.”

He paused, taking in the somber mood that took over your face as his lips returned to your neck and you wrapped your legs around him. His arms were tucked under you and his fingers played with your hair.

He quickened his pace, the final flick of his hips as he was fully taken by you caused your moans to grow louder with each thrust. Eventually you were pulling yourself to meet him, feeling the warm heat of an impending climax growing in your stomach.

You breathed his name silently between your lips as the words all mingled into some jumbled mess. Surely, Mary and Frances even if they were in deepest depths of the house, as far away from your room as possible, could hear all the noises he had you making. Your eyes rolled back into your head as you pushed away the thought.

“If you,” the words escaped him through staggered breaths as he rose to hold you by you thighs, his hips almost painfully bucking against you, “if you can come for me,” your head pressed back into the pillow as the words left his lips, he knew what he was doing to you, and also maybe if he said the words that would make it true, “love, if you come, it’ll be a girl, yeah?”

All the words hadn’t even been spoken before you indeed started to clench as his cock swelled and exploded his seed inside you.

You chuckled as he nuzzled his face into your neck, a contented sigh humming in his chest as he lay on top of you gently.

“Tommy, if you squash me there’ll be no baby,” you choked out, knowing full well he wasn’t laying with all his weight into you anyway.

He pulled the blankets over you both, nuzzling into your neck once again as he kept his hand resting on the lower part of your stomach.

You could hear his heart pounding from his chest as you played with the longest part of his hair, your eyes closed.

“Think we’ve done it then?” An excited beat leapt in your chest as you thought about how he would behave with a daughter. Would he learn to braid her hair?

“No, no, love. I think we’ll have to try over the next few days. Just to be sure,” you joked as he brushed the few strands of hair that were in your face back behind your ear, “maybe even a few times each day. To be certain.”

#tommy shelby #peaky blinders #peaky fucking blinders #tommy shelby fanfic #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky fookin blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #fanfic #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x you #cillian murphy x reader #fourth times the charm

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codfanficedits · 9 months

Text

Cheating Ghost, full version.

I've always posted this in the parts as I wrote them, this is the full story. This story came to mind after I've suffered childhood abuse, and now my brother is following in the footsteps of my father.

Also, happy birthday to me.

CW: Domestic Violence, mentions of sex/describing sexual acts, mentions of rape.

18+ MDNI.

Ghost POV:

My hands on her hips, my lips leaving hickeys on her neck, my hard cock against her stomach. It all felt so right. Expect she wasn’t you. She was better than you, sexier, hotter, willing to try all the positions you wouldn’t do. She looked at me with the most hypnotizing eyes when I called her a good girl, those same eyes sparked when I called her my filthy slut. She was everything you couldn’t be for me. The first few times I felt incredibly guilty, I would spent minutes watching over you when you slept, cursing myself for being so weak, but as time passed, my heart stopped aching. Instead your flaws were showing even more. I knew you too well for you to be ever exciting again, I knew the way your lips tasted, the way your body felt on mine, I could predict your every move.

It took me 2 extra days to come home to you again. I had been dreading the moment, waiting until the very last moment to come home. Her smell still wrapped around my body as I set foot into our bedroom.

YOUR POV:

You and Ghost have been together for three years. You moved across the country for him, 10 days after you met him. You had been at his side ever since. You were there after the good missions, the bad missions and the failed mission. You were there to kiss his bruises, to hold him while he cried about a fallen teammate, you were there to celebrate every success he had in his career.

But lately things had changed. His mission taking longer than you were used to, him being more distant, no longer sharing the details of a mission with you. The first few weeks you tried to ignored it, thought it was because of a bad mission, but after a while you couldn’t ignore it anymore. Something was going on. Ghost was away on a mission when you received a text from one of his teammates, telling you he had seen Ghost leave with another woman. It left your heart shattered. You wouldn’t believe it at first, Ghost would never do this to you. But you knew it would fit, it was the missing piece of information to tie all of his odd behaviour together. You tried to ignore it at first, until the place you used to call home, was no longer appealing to return to. You could hear him set foot into the bedroom. You waited, pretending to sleep so you wouldn’t have to face him. He just stood there, as if he was waiting for you to make the first move. “Hey..” You said, making your voice sound hoarse. “How long have you been standing there?” You ask him.

“I was just admiring the view.” He answered. The fucking liar. You kick back the blankets and pat on the bed. “Come here, I’ve missed you.”

He starts to undress, and you pretend you don’t see the hickeys on his happy trail. Looking at it makes me feel sick. He slides in to bed with me, and you can feel the distance. “How was the mission?” You ask, your fingertips caressing his jawline, like you always do. “Oh you know, same old, same old.” He tells you. You can smell her on him, her perfume smells floral and expensive. He didn’t even have the respect for you to at least take a shower before coming home to you. You roll over to your other side, “let’s go to sleep, you must be tired, baby.” You say.

He wraps his arm around you, pulling you close and kissing your neck. Her perfume invading your bed, his erection pressed against you. “How about we have some fun first, hm?”

You don’t know what makes you feel sicker. “I’m really tired, sorry.” You say, being too disgusted to even feel horny.

“Fine.” His voice got cold and he rolled away from you, refusing to touch you. Fine.

Your mind was racing, trying to make up a good excuse for him, it was trying to diffuse the situation. Surely there must be a logical explanation? He had fallen asleep next to you, you were wondering how he even could sleep at night. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe he.. Maybe he.. But your mind couldn’t come up with a good reason, it was way to easy to connect the dots. But you needed to know for sure.

You saw the screen of his phone light up. Bingo.

Careful to not wake him, you got up from bed, slowly taking his phone from the nightstand, trying to not make a sound. You snuck his phone into the bathroom, you tried to unlock it, his passcode was your birthday for ages. Access denied. You frown, maybe you made a mistake typing it. You try again, this time even more careful. Access denied.

Fuck.

You decided to type his own birthday, maybe he just happened to change it? It worked. As you scrolled through the messages you couldn’t really find anything. Soap sending him some memes. Captain Price reacting with two thumbs on everything Ghost send him. Gaz sending him pictures of food. Even their group chat was innocent.

You scrolled through everything. Until you found a hidden folder with pictures. Your eyes widened by the view. The pictures started looking innocent. Just some nudes, nothing too special. You could live with this.

Then they became more graphic. She was sitting on her knees, her tongue stuck out, semen on her face. You guess whose it was. You swiped again. It was her again, lying on a bed, looking at the camera with her hungry eyes.

A video. Against your better judgement you click on it. Your heart drops when you do so. He was fucking her like there was no tomorrow. She was on all fours, her face down, her ass up. You could tell by his pace that he was about to cum.

She helped it put it in again when it slipped out of her. It made you sick to your stomach. Yet you can’t stop watching. You’re torturing yourself. You can see his thick semen being shot on her back. You could imagine him grunting while he did so. You watch it again, pressing the volume button once. The sounds made you sick to your stomach, but your eyes were glued to the screen. The grunting was as you imagined, they were dancing with her moans. His voice cracked when he called her beautiful and you could feel your heart shatter.

A large hand slaps the phone out of your hand. “Do you always snoop through phones that aren’t yours?” A deep voice growled.

“Simon, what the fuck is this?” You ask. “What the FUCK is this?’ You yell at him.

“Oh come on, it’s nothing big.” He answered. “I’ve always been there for you!” You start to raise your voice again. “With every mission, good or bad. I have ALWAYS been by your side.”

His hand grabs your wrist. “Are you going to fucking behave?” He hisses in your ear. “Quit being a fucking drama queen.”

“Why? How could you?” Your voice sound defeated. He laughs at you. “Oh come on. You became boring. I can tell how you react at everything. It’s no longer exciting or new anymore.” He scoffs. He takes a step towards you. “Did you really think I loved you? Jezus Christ, you’re so fucking naïve.”

His words cut through you like knifes. Part of you wanted to change for him, be a more exciting person, anything so he wouldn’t leave you. But you weren’t stupid. You knew there was no coming back from this.

“I need you to get the fuck out of here.” You hissed. “Go sleep at Price or something.”

It was his laugh that sent the shivers down your spine. “I have to get out of here? Do I need to remind you this is my house? Take the few fucking things you own and get out before I kick you out.”

With tears in your eyes you grabbed your bag. You stuffed it with some clothes, your phone, your laptop and your wallet. He is right behind you when you walked out. Not saying a word to you. When you turned around to beg him to let you stay, his cold eyes told you enough. He slammed the door in your face. Leaving you all alone.

Ghost POV:

Of course I didn’t want it to end like this. She was always the safe option, but at least something was better than nothing.

I grab my phone, calling the girl I had been fucking for the past few months. A frustrated grunt leaves my throat when she doesn’t pick up. So I call again, and again until she finally picks up.

“What the fuck do you want?” She hisses at me. “It’s fucking 4 in the morning.” I let out an amused chuckle. I loved it when she was so feisty. “My girlfriend is gone for the night, and I don’t expect her home until noon. Care to come around?” I asked her. It’s quiet at the other side of the line and it is making me feel rejected. I hate that fucking feeling. “Well?” I ask, trying to hide the annoyance in my tone.

“You have a girlfriend?” The woman on the other side hissed. “You’re such a fucking pathetic man.”

I was taken aback by her reaction, where did she get the nerve to trat me like this? After all, she was nothing more than my toy. A toy I used to pass the time, but she didn’t let me answer her, her angry rant going on. “You’re a horrible, horrible man, if I had known you had a girl waiting for you, I would’ve never let you touch me.” She continued. “Lose the number, you fucking asshole.”

She hung up on me. The fucking bitch had the audacity to hang up on me? I scoffed. I didn’t need a stupid fucking toy anyway. I had you to come back to. After all, you always came back to me, no matter how much I fucked up.

I sat down on the couch, my fingers lingering over the screen of my phone. Fuck it.

“When are you coming home?” I texted you.

5 minutes. Five whole minutes had passed and you still didn’t text me back. Usually you’d text me back within seconds, like a fucking needy dog.

“Listen, I’m sorry you feel this way. I can change. I promise” I texted you again.

8 minutes. It had been eight minutes since my first text, and you didn’t hadn’t sent me anything back. It caused me to pace around my living room like a caged animal.

“Please come home, I miss you.” I texted, once more. It started to irritate me that you didn’t answer, but I couldn’t let you know.

14 minutes. The anger was getting to me. What the fuck were you doing? It was 4:28AM. You couldn’t possibly be doing something useful.

“Get your fucking ass home.”

???? POV:

He had known Ghost was a cheater, but he always tried to ignore it. Until he met you. God, you were gorgeous. It pained him that you only had eyes for Ghost. He fell in love with you the first time he met you. The way you walked, talked, your smile. Your beauty was out of this world.

But of course you were in love with Ghost. Ghost was everything he wasn’t. Mysterious, handsome, tall, confident, a deep, hoarse voice. So he hid in the shadows. He wanted you to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him.

But the guilt began to eat at him when Ghost started cheating on you, bringing some blondie back to the base after a mission. Her loud moans filling the empty halls. He couldn’t ignore it anymore after Ghost had brought back the second girl, but he was to afraid to tell you. It took him two more years to finally find the courage to tell you. He couldn’t even do it face to face. No, he texted you, like a coward.

But he had finally told you and that is what mattered.

He started to hate Ghost for this. The idiot had the most precious woman in the world and he tossed it out of the window for a little thrill.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw your text. You’d gone through his phone, and now he had kicked you out?

Damn.

A feeling of guilt washed over him, if he hadn’t told you, you’d be safe and sound in your bed, not wandering the streets at 4 in the morning.

He texted you his address, offering you a place to come to if you were lonely.

Your POV:

You felt alone. So god damn alone. You’d left everything, everyone behind to move in with Simon.

There was nothing you wanted more than to get back to Simon, to feels his strong arms around you again, but you weren’t stupid. You knew those arms would never feel like home again. You knew you’d never trust him again. The common sense in your body told you, you were worth too much to worry about him, but the love you felt for him tried to prove your common sense wrong, still. You could change for him, right? You could try to be less boring, to be less predictable.

A nearby bench in the park became your new place to stay, just so you could gather your thoughts. The bag you’d been carrying with you got dropped on the ground. A big sigh followed. How does one even go from here? Back to Simon was not an option, you refused to be his second choice.

Your phone buzzed. It was Simon, asking you when you would come home. Your heart skipped a beat. He still cared about you. Of course he did, otherwise he wouldn’t be texting you! You’re trying to convince yourself, but it’s not working. Something is different. For once, your love ending didn’t seem like such a bad idea.

You fidget with your phone, ignoring the messages that come rolling in. You pressed the phone against your lips, your mind working overtime. What was it that you wanted?

After what seemed like forever you make a decision. You don’t want to be alone, not right now, so you decide to text him. Not Simon, no, he wasn’t worthy of your presence. You text the person who tipped you, after all, he had always told you he would be there for you if you needed him. It takes every ounce of your selfcontrol to not text him the whole story, so you give him a short update. 3,5 minutes. That’s how long it took for him to answer you. It’s just his address, and you take it as an invite that you’re welcome. As you open the navigation on your phone, it shows you that it is just a ten minute walk. Perfect for you to clear your head, so you wouldn’t be all in your feelings when you got to him.

It's 5:25 AM and the sun is starting to rise again. For a moment the world doesn’t seem so bad after all.

Your hands shake as you ring the doorbell. The door swings open almost immediately.

Johnny.

Ghost POV:

I was starting to lose it. You’d come online, but you didn’t read my texts? How dare you? Where the fuck do you think you have the audacity from to ignore me?

I texted you again.

“At least have some fucking respect and answer me.”

An uneasy feeling starts to linger in my stomach, causing me to pace around the living room. What if you really did decide to leave this time? No, you wouldn’t. I was sure of that. But then why didn’t you answer me?

No it shouldn’t bother me this much. I can just go to the bar and pick up a better version of you, a prettier one, a more adventurous one. Then you did the thought of you leaving me sting so much?

I lose my temper, and an empty teacup flings across the room, against the wall. The brown liquid dripping down.

A few deep breaths and I should be okay again. Wrong.

The uneasy feeling in my chest stays and there is nothing that I can do against it. Why would you do this to me? Why did you have to make things so hard? Why couldn’t you just come home when I asked you to?

God, you’re being a pain in my ass right now. Making such a fuss, and for what? Because I had a little fun? That was your fault really, you had always been a little boring, why couldn’t you just be a little spicier in life.

And now your behaviour is making me feel bad? I don’t think so. I sent you a final text.

“You’re gonna get it when you get home.”

Soap POV:

He was waiting in the living room for her, nearly falling over his own feet as he made his way to the front door. The sight of you standing there, with your broken heart is the hardest thing he had to watch.

‘Even in her agony, God is jealous of her beauty.’ Soap pushed that thought away, he wasn’t here to hit on you, he was here to be the friend you needed. He stepped aside to let you in. “It’s not much, but it’s safe.” He said, gesturing around his living room. It was clear a single man lived here, the pizza box from last night still on the table, his dirty socks and shoes next to the couch. A sheepish smile on his face, hoping that you wouldn’t judge him too much.

He was mesmerized by your eyes, but he could see the sadness, the hurt in them, and it made his heart ache.

He signalled for you to sit on the couch, handing you a beer, his own in his hand, as he took place in his recliner, wanting to keep a distance. There was a silence between the two of you, but to him it didn’t feel awkward at all. It felt like coming safe home after a long, stressful day.

He glanced over at you. You looked so fragile on his couch, a large pillow being used as a shield, as your gaze met his. A nervous smile.

Your phone buzzed, and he could see it was from Ghost, his eyes narrowing as he read the text. “At least have some fucking respect and answer me.”

But you were strong and you didn’t pay any mind to his text, you tossed the phone next to you and met his gaze once more.

Then the words started to pour out, and you told him everything. How you couldn’t believe it at first, how you finally started to connect the dots. How Ghost dared to come home smelling like another woman, the video you had watched. He took an occasional sip from his beer every now and then.

With every full sentence he could see your mind working overtime, telling you to not go back to that relationship anymore. It made his heart beat faster in his chest.

As if it’s natural the conversation shifts to a lighter one, as if you want to leave Ghost and the darkness that he brings with him in the past, and Soap was happy to oblige.

You tell him about your job, your hobbies, your favourite crystals and he takes in all the information as if it is the most important thing he has ever heard.

Your phone buzzed again and the both of you look at it at the same time.

“You’re gonna get it when you get home.”

Those words made Soap’s stomach drop, he had always known that Ghost had a temper, a bad one, but even this felt low for Ghost. He looked over at you, expecting to see fear in your face, but instead you just laughed. As if you were freed from the chackles Ghost had put on you.

“Shit.” Your voice sounded like giggle. “I should really put him in his place for speaking to me in this tone.”

‘God, her laugh could light up a room without trying.’

No stop, he shouldn’t think like that.

Maybe it was the beer talking, maybe it was the lack of common sense from the whole situation, but he had an idea. An idea that would put Ghost in his place.

“Come with me.” Soap told you, as he made him way to his bedroom. It was surprisingly tidy compared to his living room. Sure, the bed wasn’t made, and his backpack was casually tossed into the corner, and now that he looked around, his nightstand were a mess too. But the dirty socks were limited to the bathroom only and that was something.

“I need you to trust me, I’m not a pervert, I promise.” Soap was rambling, a treat he had when he got nervous. He swallowed some air before he started explaining. “I need you to get on my bed on all fours, I promise I won’t look okay.” The rambling continued.

You didn’t even question it, you just did what he asked you to do. He took a step closer to your ass, his breathing getting hard to control. “Look at the wall.” He muttered. The shadow being rather, suggestive.

‘Life was an artist and you were the fucking masterpiece.’

He couldn’t help but look down at you, the sight of you presenting yourself like this, God it got him hard, the blood going straight to his growing erection. He dug his nails into the palm of his hand, he had to contain himself.

You handed him your phone, allowing him to take a picture. If he didn’t know any better the shadow suggested he was actually fucking you. The thought of how tight you would be, how good you would take it, it was flooding his mind. Shit shit shit. He needed to stop.

He handed you your phone back, stepping aside, it would drive him insane if he kept looking at your ass.

Soap looked over your shoulder as you sent Ghost the picture. A grin on your face when you started to type.

‘Sorry, I was busy.’

Ghost POV:

It has been more than a fucking hour since I’ve sent my last text, and yet you lack the fucking respect to answer me. You’re a fucking worthless waste of air.

I look over at the table when my phone buzzed. “Sorry, I was busy?” I repeat your text to myself. My fingers are quick to open the picture you sent me.

My phone buzzed. A text from you.

No, no, no, no, NO.

I could feel my stomach drop from that picture. You’re a fucking disgusting slut and you know it. How the fuck dare you? After all we’ve been together you’re throwing us away like this? How fucking dare you?

My anger gets the best of me. I want you to be hurt. I want to take away the things you like. I want to see you cry, beg me for the mercy you don’t deserve.

In a blind rage I pull out the cutlery drawer in the kitchen, I was looking for some scissors but couldn’t find them, so I took our kitchen knife. The fucking stuffed animal I had won for you at the fair was the first to go. God it felt so good to take my anger out on something. Besides, who the fuck has a stuffed unicorn?

The rest of your clothes became my second target, a maniacal laugh leaving my throat as I could hear the fabric rip under the force of my knife. Shit it felt good, too good even. For a second I would imagine you there instead of your clothes and the rage would leave my body, but it’s temporary, I want to destroy you.

If I can’t have you, no one should have you.

My hands tremble when I look at the picture again. My eyes widen when I recognize the room, I recognize his fucking backpack, the idiotic sunglasses on his fucking nightstand.

God fucking damn.

My best fucking friend. The fucking son of a bitch.

Where the fuck did the two of you get the fucking nerve to betray me like this?

Granted, Soap had been more distance towards me since I’ve started to cheat on you, but he never had a problem with it during my last relationship. This must’ve been his idea. Letting you catch me cheating, so I’m the bad guy, while you’re getting your pussy pounded by that fucking traitor.

I’m angry, furious even. Part of me wants to take the knife and stab the both of you, watching as the life leaves your eyes. I can feel the rage boil inside of me.

A sudden wave of relief washes over me. I know what I have to do.

I leave the knife in our matrass, I don’t even grab my jacket. I know the way to his house, it’s a short walk and I know what I’ll find when I get there. You all loveydovey in his arms, as the goddamn slut that you are.

The walk there pisses me off even more, it gives me the time to think about you, about that fucking traitor of a man I used to call a friend.

My fists bang on the door. “Soap! I know you’re in there with this filthy whore.” My voice is a mere bark.

“Be a fucking man and face me.”

Your POV:

You had nearly forgotten about Simon. Not really obviously, you knew you still had to face him one day. Half of your belongings were still at that house. But for now, for now you could forget him. Soap’s bedroom was filled with laughter, you had more in common than you thought, memories, hobbies, even the same dishes you liked.

Although he liked olives, and the mere thought of them was enough to make you shudder.

Soap was in the middle of a story about Captain Price, something about his hidden porn stash when three loud bangs made the both of you quiet. It was unmistaken who’s voice it was. It felt as if a hand had reached out to your throat, squeezing it shit. Your eyes pleaded to Soap, begging him to stay in his bedroom with you. Surely Simon would leave, right? Right?

The banging got louder, more violent, his profanities carrying out over the street. All you wanted was for the ground to break open and swallow you whole.

“I have to face him.”

“What? No Johnny that’s ridiculous.”

“He won’t leave, I can just explain what happened. I’ll tell him you don’t want to see him.”

“But he sounds dangerous.”

“I’ve known him for years, lass. I’ll be fine.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

You couldn’t ignore the knot in your stomach, the horrible feeling as if something was bound to happen, Soap had closed the door behind him, as if he wanted to shield you from what was about to happen. You hid away in the corner, your knees brought up to your chest, as if you wanted to make yourself as tiny as possible.

You could hear the door open. Soap’s voice was the first to be heard. “Hey man, I know this looks ba-“ His sentence got cut short.

Something was happening, but you couldn’t make out what it was. The closed door muffled the sounds to much.

Yet the sounds of a person falling was clear to you. A man begging another man to stop, the faint sound of fists hitting their target.

Your bag.

It was still on the couch, you knew it was there, all you could do was to pray that Simon didn’t find it.

Your mind was racing, where had you put your phone? You knew it was in this room, somewhere, you had used it to text him that picture.

Oh god, why did you do that?

This was all happening because you just had to be petty. Johnny was getting murdered and you were having a pity party. Selfish bitch.

You had to find that fucking phone. Call someone. Call the police even.

But you were too scared. Afraid that if you were to move, Simon would hear you and come for you.

The sounds of footsteps on the stairs snapped you out of it. You wanted it to be Soap, you really did, but you knew it was Simon. “I know you’re in there you fucking filthy slut!”

You pressed yourself against the wall, hoping that you could blend in, maybe disappear while you’re at it.

The bedroom door swings open, and the man before you is no longer the man you once loved. His eyes are wide, his nostrils flared, a predator looking at his prey.

You can hear the soft groans coming from downstairs. You want to escape, you want to leave, but your body betrays you.

“Simon, I, I, I.” You start to stutter. His hands grab a handful of hair, forcing you to look up at him.

“You really thought you were smart, huh?” He hisses through his gritted teeth. He lets go of your hair, and for a second you think you can breathe. That was a mistake.

His right fist hits you, then his left, right, left, right, left, right. Until you start to lose count.

You hold up your arms to defend yourself, but it’s useless. He is trained to do this, and you’re his target.

You start to beg him, beg him for your life, but you can tell he is enjoying this, your tears, the fear in your eyes, it is nothing but fuel to his anger.

His hands grab your hair again, dragging you towards the bed. You’re too stunned, too terrified to even react.

The sound of his zipper going down makes your eye widen in fear. “I’ll show you who the fuck you belong to.” He hisses at you.

It is Soap who stumbles into the room that make the both of you look up. God. He looks horrible, he looks as if he was dragged through hell and back. The pain is visible in his eyes, the blood on his face, the red marks on his body.

A broken promise.

Ghost let’s out an annoyed grunt. “I’ll take care of our little problem.” He whispers into your ear. His voice, the tone, the words, it sends shivers down your spine. The sound of his zipper going back up is a blessing and a curse.

You’re safe, for now.

You can only watch in horror when you can see Ghost make his way over to Soap. You want to react. Your mind is screaming at you to do something. But your body can’t.

It seemed as if time was slowing down. The sunset slowing illuminating the room you’re in. The tension in the thick air. It looks like a horrible nightmare, one you wish to wake up from.

You’re held captive by your own body and mind. No control over what you’re thinking or doing, it makes you feel helpless.

Deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths. Snap out of that freeze response, no more freezing. You need to fight or you need to get out. Go. Go. Go.

Your body handles on it’s own, despite the pain you’re in, you manage to get up, stumbling over your own feet.

Get out or fight.

It’s the gunshot that follows next, that puts you into freeze again.

Your POV:

Ghost looked at his hands, he was visibly confused by the blood on them. His blood?

Your hands are shaking, your mind goes back to a date you and Ghost went on 2,5 years ago.

It was a sunny day, and he was so excited to take you there. He had been talking about it for a few weeks and you finally decided to give in.

Who would have thought a silly little date to a shooting range would save your life one day?

Not you, not Ghost.

You had spotted the gun in Soap’s backpack, the will to survive took over, your body snapping out of your freeze mode before your mind was able to.

“That’s a good lass.” A Scottish accent broke the silence.

Ghost dropped to his knees, his hands pressing on the gunshot wound. So much was happening at once, yet you tried to take control over the situation once again. Your hands tremble as you load another bullet into the chamber.

“Stay down or I’ll fucking shoot again.” Oh how you try to be confident, but the words are a mere whisper as the tears start to roll down your cheek. You try not to choke on your shallow breaths.

The tension in the air is horrible. You can tell Soap is holding on for dear life, not knowing how to continue. You can tell that Ghost is defeated, as if the shot held a mirror in front of him, he was no better than his father and he knew it.

And you, standing there. Holding on to that pistol for dear life, your knuckles white from the tight grip.

A few loud bangs, a loud voice, a small army of police men joining you in the room, the rest of the day a blur.

You didn’t exactly look innocent, holding a loaded weapon, pointing it to an already wounded man.

And God, for the first time you felt lucky. You could show the texts he had sent you, the way he had torn up the place you used to call home, you had only shot him once, and it was a non-lethal shot.. It all ruled in your favour, the judges ruled it self-defence.

Ghost on the other hand didn’t get as lucky, all the evidence pointed in his direction, even after you’d shot him.

Although the sentence he got was a joke.

Sixty days.

He would spent two months in jail for traumatizing you, for harming you, for destroying what belonged to you, for harming Soap, for making your home feel unsafe.

Just sixty days.

But, for sixty whole days you felt safe. You knew he wouldn’t be lurking around the corner, you knew that for sixty whole days you could breathe again.

Ghost POV:

I lost it all. And for what? For a little toy, for a little smile, for a little weak moment. Sixty goddamn days of my life.

It wasn’t even worth it. It made me lose the job I worked so hard for. Price didn’t want to hear shit after I got my sentence. I tried to explain how it wasn’t really my fault. After all, you and Soap had planned this. No matter how innocent you tried to act in court. I knew what had happened.

I really tried to live with my anger. I had to go to therapy, but that was a waste of my fucking time. I have one little outburst and all of the sudden I am the problem?

I had to sell the house, because of you. Everything reminded me of you, at night I thought I saw you stand in the doorway, I swear I could hear your footsteps, your laugh, your voice. But you were never there. It haunted me, you know that? So I sold it, bought another house. Tried to forget about you. The money I had made during my time in the military, it lasted me a long time. I didn’t have to work, no I could drown my sorrows in liquor and hookers. The funny thing was, money doesn’t last, just like we didn’t.

And I really tried. I tried to get new jobs, but they would never last. God, people are morons and I just cannot deal with them. Do you know how hard it is to keep your house when you’re not able to keep a goddamn job? And furthermore, do you know how hard it is to keep a relationship when you’re not able to hold a job, when the bills are stacking up?

God, and even if I could hold a job, I’m not able to keep a relationship, I keep searching for a piece of you. Even when they’re a perfect match, they’re still not you.

I hate myself for letting you go, I crave how predictable you were, I crave your touch, your voice, you.

Yet at the same time, I am so angry at you for taking everything from me. I deserve better than this. You took everything I worked so hard for.

The anger is tucked away, for now. It reappears whenever I hit the bottle. Everything I’ve been holding in comes out then. It’s not a pretty sight when I get my shit together again, it makes me feel ashamed.

Your little action has made me unable to look into the mirror. I see my fathers eyes whenever my eyes linger to long on the man I see in the mirror. I became what I hated the most and I can only blame you for it.

I even tried to make up with the last woman, the one you found the video of. I went to her house, tried to explain myself. I even apologised for calling her my toy. She had the audacity to laugh at me. She told me to fuck right off. Hell, she even pulled her girlfriend to her side when I asked for a second chance. It left me broken. Not even my back up wanted me anymore.

Lately I’ve been wandering the streets, as a soul without a purpose. I avoid the large windows, I cannot stand to see my reflection in them, the shell of the man I was supposed to be. I had such a good life ahead of me, but it was all ruined. My days are filled with sorrow and time is slipping through my fingers.

It is a good day, a beautiful day, so I decide to go to the park, maybe it would ease my mind, before I would go home and get drunk again. I wander around in the park, aimlessly, the sun on my skin is a nice feeling, it beats the feeling of feeling sorry for myself.

My heart skips a beat when I see you. You’re standing close to the water, and I can’t tell what you’re saying to the man in front of you, but you look happy. The clothes you’re wearing fit your body perfectly, and truth be told, you look better than you’ve ever looked before.

God I miss you. I miss you so goddamn much. I start to make my way over to you, I want to talk to you, maybe there is a new chance for us to be together. The guy you’re with can suck it, I can show you what you deserve.

My blood runs cold when I see the man in front of you go down on one knee.

No.

Your POV:

You never stepped foot into that house again, you tried, but the tea stained wall was enough for you to back down. All your belongings you had left behind were things you could replace.

But that wasn’t your biggest worry. Soap had risked his life for you, and for what? Because you needed to prove a point to Simon? You felt so, so, so goddamn guilty. Luckly for the both of you, Soap ‘only’ had two broken ribs, a black eye and a few other bruises. You both knew it could have ended different.

Soap was a kind soul, and you knew it. He offered you a place to stay when you couldn’t go back to the place you once called home. He insisted on taking the couch, even with his injuries. He insisted that you were the one who deserved to sleep in his bed after everything you had been through.

In return you made him breakfast every day. The man was a sucker for fresh pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, maple syrup. All of them together, or just one of those things. It didn’t matter to him, as long as it was something you had cooked, this man was content.

What started as just breakfast, quickly became dinner too, lunch followed shortly after. Although Soap slept on the couch, he wouldn’t hesitate to come running up the stairs when he could hear you having a nightmare, eventually you’d start having flashbacks of that morning. The events repeating themselves in your mind time after time, leaving you frozen in place.

Soap was there for you, no questions asked. He was on medical leave anyway, and he wanted to care for you, protect you. He would always be there when the nightmares or flashbacks started. Holding you, grounding you, bringing you back into reality every time.

After one particular flashback the two of you stayed on the couch, even though it was late at night. You didn’t dare to go to sleep, worried that the nightmares would keep you up again, and Soap wasn’t going to let you out of his sight.

The next thing you knew was that you woke up with him in your arms. His head resting on your shoulder as you held him tight. The best part of it all? It never felt awkward. When he finally woke up he had a boyish grin on his face.

“Best night of sleep I’ve had in a while.” He told you, before he gave you some space again. “How about I make you some pancakes this time?”

You had always thought that Ghost made you feel at home, but Soap.. Holy shit, Soap was something else. When the night fell that day and it was time to go to bed you held your hand out to him, he didn’t have to sleep on the couch anymore. Not if it was up to you anyway.

You could tell he was hesitant to take your hand. “I want you to, no, I need you to know you don’t have to do this to pay me back in any way, shape or form.” He began. You shushed him. This wasn’t about paying him back, this was about the feeling that had began to grow inside your heart.

He responded with a simple kiss on your nose. A token of appreciation.

It was the start of something beautiful, Soap was so much kinder than Ghost had ever been to you. Because it was Soap who woke you up with a thousand and one kisses on every inch of skin he could get his hands on, it was Soap who made sure you were always comfortable, no matter where you were or what you were doing. It was Soap who made sure you would at least get a text every day when he was on a mission, it was Soap who hid little love notes around the house when he was away.

Soap brought you stones from the missions he had been on, always proudly telling you how he picked the prettiest rocks, just for you. Even when he was away on missions, he always made sure you never, ever felt lonely.

He had just come home after he went to a little bakery to get you both breakfast, so you could sleep in.

“I saw some ducklings in the park when I walked back.” He told you, before he took a bite of his croissant.

“Really?” Your voice is filled with excitement. “Can we check them out after breakfast?”

“Only if I get a kiss first.”

“Deal!”

“Ah shoot, I should’ve asked for more.” The Scot pouted while he stole your last piece of pastry.

“Hey! That was mine.”

“Sorry lass, boyfriend tax.” He grinned as he swallowed the stolen bite.

“Now.” A devilish grin formed on his lips. “You still owe me a kiss.”

A laugh escapes your lips before he kisses you, his strong arms wrapped around you, as your hands rest on his waist. “That was worth all the ducklings in the world.” He whispers to you as he presses a quick kiss on your forehead.

“Come little lass, before those ducklings are fully grown ducks.”

He doesn’t let go off your hand for the whole walk to the park, the two of you walk in silence, and it’s nice. His presence is enough for you, and you are enough for him.

You look around the little pond to see a glimpse of the promised ducklings, but they are nowhere to be seen. You have your back turned to him, as your eyes scan the area.

“They’re gone.” Your voice sounds disappointed. “Well damn it, I want that kiss back Jo-“ Your breath hitches in your throat when you turn around to face him.

There he is, on one knee in front of you, a little black box in his hand.

“Will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?”

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otomehonyaku · 16 days

Text

DIABOLIK LOVERS アニメ公式ノベライズ Official Novelization ☽ Chapter 1 Translation

[…] ☽ [Next chapter]

Hello everyone! It's been a while. I went back to Japan for the first time in ages last month and immediately fell back down the Diabolik Lovers rabbit hole when I went to the Rejet shop...

I recently found this so-called 'anime novelization' on eBay, and thought it might be fun to use it to get back into translating. This book was released as a novel counterpart to the first season of the Diabolik Lovers anime, thus following the storyline of the anime rather than the visual novels (almost to a T).

Please let me know if you like reading these and want me to translate more of it! I'm not exactly sure how active the fandom is anymore, so I think I'll just test the waters with a couple of chapters and see if it'll be fun to translate the entire book. Who knows!

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Originally written by Yukuzuki Hiroha 結来月ひろは Translated from the Japanese by @otomehonyaku

STORY Following her father’s job transfer, Komori Yui is sent to live with the Sakamaki brothers. However, these six brothers turn out to be sadistic, ill-tempered vampires. The men are after Yui’s sweet and incredibly rare blood, and go to great lengths toying with her body and soul to get it. Before long, Yui finds herself trapped in an alluringly dangerous love game(1)...

1. 吸血愛戯 (ラブゲーム): Stylised as ‘love game’ but written with the characters for bloodsucking (吸血), love (愛), and play (戯). The latter character also has a connotation of playfulness/mischief.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

DISCLAIMER This is an unofficial translation intended for those interested in reading the story of the Diabolik Lovers game/season in a slightly more literary format in English. I have no affiliation with Rejet or Frontier Works whatsoever. All rights belong to them, but PLEASE DO NOT POST THIS TRANSLATION ELSEWHERE OR TRANSLATE TO OTHER LANGUAGES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

Now that that’s out of the way—have fun reading! ❤️

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Episode 1

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

That day, like any other day, the sky was aglow with twilight. In the quiet forest, which was dimly lit by the evening sun, the sound of a car engine pierced the air. It was a taxi, driving alone on the narrow forest path.

What a pretty sky… Komori Yui thought as she gazed at the sky from the backseat of the taxi.

Yui was an ordinary second-year high school student. She lived with her father, who was a priest, before he had to relocate for work. Yui was sent to live with the Sakamaki family, who were acquaintances of her father's, and so she was currently on her way to her new home.

A lake came into view from the taxi window. The setting sun glittered off the surface of the lake. The wind, carrying the scent of the forest, rustled Yui’s hair when she opened the car window. She spotted a large mansion nestled between the trees through the window on the opposite side.

So that’s where I’ll be living from now on…

The closer the taxi got to the mansion, the wider the girl’s eyes became. Aside from what looked to be the main building, which was built around a courtyard, there were even several auxiliary buildings and a gazebo on the property.

I’ve never even seen a mansion this big before.

Before long, the taxi stopped before a gate that was large enough for two cars to easily pass through at the same time.

“Thank you,” Yui said to the driver and stepped out of the car. The taxi returned into the direction from which they had come.

Yui took her suitcase and looked up at the large, Western-style building beyond the gate. It was a three-storey brick building that might as well have belonged to a family of European aristocrats. Briefly taken aback by the view in front of her, Yui opened the gate and went into the courtyard.

“Wow… I never thought it would be such an elegant house.”

Pulling her suitcase behind her and eying her surroundings with astonishment, Yui made her way to the front door. The entrance was still quite a ways away from where she was, and Yui couldn't quite make it there as she kept falling from one surprise into another.

There’s even a fountain!

The stone statue of a gargoyle was perched on top of the fountain and looked down at her. Yui wondered briefly whether this was the personal taste of the mansion’s owner. As she passed by the fountain, the shadows of raindrops started to appear on the stone tiles underneath her feet.

“Rain?!” Caught off-guard, Yui looked up.

The sky that had been so clear earlier was now black with rain clouds. Just as Yui thought she'd seen a flash of lightning pierce the dark sky, a loud clap of thunder rumbled through the air. Startled by the thunder, she let out a small cry.

“Oh no, even thunder…” Yui clumsily hurried in the direction of the front door. The rain began pouring down the moment she reached it.

Thank God I didn't end up soaked. It wouldn't be appropriate to show up at your new host family’s doorstep drenched to the skin with rain, after all.

Yui faced the door. It was huge and covered in decorative engraving, and she used the ancient-looking door knocker to announce her arrival. The sound of the cold, iron knocker reverberated through the mansion once, twice, but nobody came to answer.

“Excuse me!” Yui called, and extended a hand towards the door.

Before she could reach it, the door inched open by itself with a loud creaking sound.

“Ah!”

Yui flinched backward in surprise. Out of curiosity, she gingerly peeked through the gap in the door. Nobody was there. Did that mean she was welcome to go inside?

As if she'd been invited in, Yui stepped inside, and the door immediately slammed shut behind her.

Once inside, the first thing that greeted her was a lavish entrance hall lit by a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Still, the entrance hall somehow looked quite gloomy, stretching out far into the shadows on either side of her.

“Um… Is anybody there?” Yui ventured once more, her voice echoing off the high ceiling.

“How strange. I wonder if they didn't know I would be coming today,” Yui muttered to herself as she paced through the hall. When she stepped onto the red carpet spread out on the floor, a large staircase came into view. She paused before the stairs, only barely visible under the dim light of the chandelier as she called out again, “Excuse me!”

Once more, her voice rang through the air to no avail. Nobody came.

What should I do?

She might have been looking for the master of the house, but that didn't mean she should feel free to snoop around in someone else's home. Yui was at a loss. She stood stock-still, trailing her eyes over her surroundings, and then she noticed something.

For a brief moment, a bolt of lightning outside cast a sliver of light on a sofa by the window.

Wait, what was…

She only saw it for an instant, but Yui made her way over to the sofa. She saw a figure not unlike the shape of a boy laying on top of it. He seemed about the same age as her, and wore what looked to be a school uniform, but it was completely dishevelled. Under his head was a cushion, which he used as a pillow as he slept.

What an odd place to sleep in… But I’m glad I managed to find someone.

The boy looked to be sleeping soundly when the lightning illuminated his face again. Even though Yui knew it would be rude to wake him up, she called out to him.

”Um… Excuse me.”

She reached out and touched the boy’s hand, but withdrew immediately.

“So cold!”

The boy’s skin had been much colder than she’d expected. Regardless of how long he’d been sleeping on that couch, his body temperature shouldn’t have dropped that much.

He doesn’t even have a temperature to begin with…

“Are you okay?”

Yui started panicking and held an ear to the boy’s chest, but the heartbeat she should have heard never came.

“His heart isn’t beating… Oh no, I have to call an ambulance!”

Yui pulled her phone out of the bag slung over her shoulder, and hurried to call the emergency number, but a hand shot out from beside her and swiftly took the phone right out of her hands.

“Ah!”

“…Shut the fuck up. Who do you think you are, walking into someone’s house yapping like that?”

The boy Yui had assumed had been dead suddenly stood up from the sofa, her phone in his hand, and shot her an irritated glare with his emerald eyes.

“Y-you’re alive?!”

“What?”

The words had escaped Yui’s lips in an involuntary whisper, but the boy didn’t bother hiding his annoyance when he responded.

“Obviously. Who’d you think Yours Truly is?”

The boy responded like this was the most normal situation in the world, but it didn’t make sense to Yui at all.

What’s going on…?

Without realising it, Yui slowly started backing away from him. “But… Your heart wasn’t beating…” She was absolutely positive that she hadn’t heard a heartbeat.

And yet… Why did the boy in front of her look so calm and composed?

A flash of blind panic urged Yui to make a run for it, but the boy caught her in his arms and pushed her onto her back on the sofa.

“Ah! What are you doing?!”

“What, isn’t it obvious? I’m gonna eat you up.” The boy’s face dipped in close, but bent down further to lick the nape of Yui’s neck.

What on Earth…

Yui’s mind reeled at the boy’s unexpected behaviour, and she yelped, but that only made her assailant’s face twist into an amused grin. He bent down again in an attempt to bite into her neck.

“Ayato! What is this? Tone it down.”

The boy—Ayato, apparently—clicked his tongue and glared at the person standing next to the sofa. “Reiji.”

The person Ayato referred to as Reiji was a highly strung-looking boy with glasses perched on his narrow nose. With his calm and polite demeanour and white gloves, he almost looked like a butler, but when Yui looked closely, he was wearing the same uniform as Ayato.

Reiji looked at Ayato over the rim of his glasses with an exasperated expression. “This is the entrance hall. A place where we welcome guests. Please take these sorts of activities to your own room.”

“Ugh, boring.” Ayato reluctantly sat up.

Did this boy just come to save me?

Yui flung herself off of the sofa and scurried to Reiji’s side. “P-please help me!”

He gave her a puzzled look when she called for help. “And you are?”

“Komori Yui. My father arranged for me to stay here.”

“I don’t recall hearing about that.”

After listening to Yui’s explanation, Reiji returned his attention to Ayato. “Ayato, will you explain what’s going on here?”

“What? Like hell I know,” Ayato answered gruffly, and swung a leg up onto the sofa. He looked directly at Yui. “Y’know, Pancake, you could’ve told me all of that earlier.”

“That’s because you attacked me all of a sudden.”

“Huh…”

Somewhat unsurprised that she wouldn’t be able to have a normal conversation with the person who had just plainly assaulted her. Ayato turned away from her as if he hadn’t done anything wrong.

What’s wrong with him? He’s been nothing but rude… Yui thought, and suddenly something occurred to her.

“Wait, you said Pancake… Did you mean me?”

“Of course, you idiot. You really that dense, Pancake?” Ayato cast her an amused sideways glance, clearly making fun of her.

Next to Yui, who was still fuming at the rude nickname, Reiji crossed his arms in thought.

“Strange indeed. Nobody has reported this to me, either.”

Then Yui must have come to the wrong mansion. But still, there aren’t any other houses around here.

“Ah, um, so you are…”

“Let’s not discuss this here. Please follow me. Your luggage will be taken care of.” Before Reiji had even finished talking, Yui noticed that a butler had appeared beside her suitcase.

“Oh!” When did he get here?

The butler acknowledged Yui with a little nod and disappeared with her suitcase. What on Earth is going on in this mansion? A front door that opens by itself, and a butler that appears out of thin air, without a sound. And then there’s…

When Yui cast a glance toward Ayato, who was still sitting on the sofa, his eyes met hers with a disgruntled expression. Remembering what he had done to her earlier, Yui quickly looked away and followed Reiji instead.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Reiji led Yui into a spacious living room. The chandelier hanging from the ceiling gave off a dazzling light, and firewood was burning in the hearth.

“Please, have a seat.”

“Thank you.”

Yui did as he said and took a seat on the sofa.

“You too, Ayato. We cannot have a proper conversation if you do not.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

She watched as Ayato took a seat next to her, and Reiji started to speak.

“Firstly, please do us the courtesy of explaining why you barged into our home without permission.”

“Ah, yes.”

I didn’t really barge in here, though… However, to Reiji and the others, that’s what it must seem like. I should apologise and clear up the misunderstanding.

“Um…” Yui straightened her spine but was interrupted before she could speak.

“Oh, oh, oh! What’s this?” a voice laughed from above. When Yui looked up, she saw a boy peering down at her from the mezzanine. “To think such a cute girl would show up here!” He looked about the same age as Ayato, but wore a black hat on his head. His bright green eyes bore into Yui’s, making her a little nervous.

Has he been there the entire time? I couldn’t even tell. Just as she took in the strange circumstances, a tongue trailed over Yui’s left cheek.

“Ah!”

Did someone just lick me?

Touching her cheek in surprise, Yui looked to the side and was met with the boy who had just been on the mezzanine. What? How did he get over here so fast? Feeling as though she’d been pinched, she cast him an accusatory look.

“Hm… She smells so sweet.”

When Yui pressed her back against the sofa to get away from the boy, another voice suddenly sounded from right behind her.

“Please let me have a taste, too.”

Someone licked her ear this time. Yui spun around and saw a purple-haired boy of small stature there. She cringed at the moist sound of his tongue, pressing a hand to her ear.

“She tastes sweet, too.”

What on Earth is going on? The two boys looked entertained by Yui’s confusion.

Reiji seemed unable to look on, and broke the silence. “You two. That is no way to treat a lady whom you have only just met.”

The boy with the hat whined in protest at Reiji’s reprimanding tone.

“Do you have anything to say, Laito?”

“Well, if something so delicious-looking is put in front of me, I just have to taste it. Right, Kanato?”

“Yeah,” the purple-haired boy replied with a nod.

“Fuck off, all of you!” Ayato wedged his way into the two boys’ conversation.

“Yours Truly found this one, so I’ll be the one to take all of her firsts.”

“...Asshole.”

Ayato frowned at the source of yet another voice filled the living room.

“With your ‘Yours Truly, Yours Truly,’ just shut the fuck up already.”

“The fuck did you just say?” Ayato flung himself off the couch with unnecessary force, and looked around the room. “That’s Subaru, isn’t it? Show yourself, coward!”

“I’m right here.” The sullen voice came from a boy leaning against the wall, presumably Subaru. The white shock of his hair, which covered his right eye, was a stark contrast with his red eyes, which leered at Yui. “I was just thinking it reeked of humans in here. So it’s you. How are you going to compensate for my lack of precious sleep?”

“W-where did you come from?”

“I asked first!” Subaru yelled in annoyance, and slammed a fist against the wall behind him. Cracks began to form in the wall from his fist outwards, sending plaster crumbling to the floor. He fixed his gaze on Yui, who was at a loss for words.

Seeing the dilapidated state of the wall, Reiji sighed heavily as he repositioned his glasses. He turned toward his brothers gathered in the living room.

“Are any of you listening? The lady will be living here from now on.”

There was no response.

“Um, I think there’s been some kind of mistake. I’m sorry for troubling you. I’ll be on my way now.” Yui resolutely rose from the couch.

“Please wait.” Reiji’s voice made her freeze in place when she attempted to flee the living room, her eyes trained on the floor. “I am still confirming the facts. Do you not think it would be rude to leave now?”

“B-but…”

Reiji certainly had a point, but considering the mansion’s other inhabitants certainly weren’t intent on following his orders, Yui could not bear to be there much longer. They’re scaring me…

A new, listless voice came from the direction of the window.

“Are you the woman he told me about?”

When Yui turned to look, she spotted another new face. The boy was spread out lazily on the sofa by the window. He wore the same school uniform as the others, but instead of a jacket, he wore a beige-coloured cardigan over his shirt. He appeared to be listening to music, as a pair of earphones plugged his ears.

There’s one more brother?

“Shuu, what do you know about her?”

“...Nothing much.” Shuu replied dismissively, his eyes closed. Could he hear Ayato even though he was wearing earphones?

“Nonsense. Please elaborate,” Kanato urged.

Shuu reluctantly began speaking. “He… contacted me the other day. He told me we’d be receiving a guest from the church, and to ‘treat her kindly,’ ‘make her feel most welcome,’ all that.”

“The hell? You mean Pancake’s the Chosen Bride?”

An involuntary noise slipped from Yui’s lips at Ayato’s remark. What does that even mean, the Chosen Bride? At the very least, she knew that her father, who had to move away for his job as a priest, had arranged for her to live here, but this was the first time she heard of this whole ordeal. However, contrary to Yui’s astonishment, the brothers listened to Shuu’s explanation rather calmly.

“Ah, I see.”

“A bride? Well, more like a living sacrifice, right?”

…Living sacrifice?

Yui was taken aback by Kanato and Laito’s exchange.

Then, Shuu opened his eyes and spoke as if to deal the final blow. “Right, he also ordered us not to kill her, so…”

Not kill me? What the…?

“Huh… Well, then we’ll be enjoying her company for a long time.”

Meanwhile, Yui had frozen in place.

Reiji ignored her shock as he called her to attention. “Wonderful. It appears that the issue has been cleared up. Then, let us properly introduce ourselves.” He first turned to Shuu. “That is the eldest brother, Sakamaki Shuu. I am the second son, Reiji.” He paused briefly before turning to Ayato and the others. “Those are the triplets. Ayato–”

“I won’t let you get away next time.”

“Kanato–”

“Please let me taste you again. Exciting, isn’t it, Teddy?” Teddy must be the name of the one-eyed bear Kanato was cradling in his arms. The boy tilted his head and giggled.

“And Laito–”

“Let’s have fun together, Bitchlet.” For such a crude name to call a woman, Laito was laughing as he said it.

“Lastly, that’s Subaru, the youngest brother.”

“Ugh, this shit sucks.” Subaru looked displeased at Yui’s presence, and turned away immediately.

Reiji had properly introduced all of the brothers to her, but still, she did not know how to make sense of everything they had said to her. “There must still be some kind of mistake. I haven’t heard anything about a bride…”

Something suddenly occurred to Yui, a peculiar thought poking at the back of her mind. Many strange things had happened to her since she’d arrived here, but the most unsettling thing of all…

“S-something’s… off about all of you…” Yui asked, her gaze gingerly shifting from brother to brother. All of their eyes were trained on her.

What on Earth…

Their cold, piercing gazes radiated danger, and Yui’s fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. I have to get out of here.

“I-I have to contact my father…”

Yui reached for the cell phone in her pocket, but, somehow it had ended up in Ayato’s hands again.

“Ah!” How did that happen? Never mind, this is not the time to think about that. “My phone! Give it back!”

“I dunno about that.” Ayato toyed with her phone, a sadistic smile forming on his face.

I won’t have any means to contact my father if I don’t have my cell phone…

“Give it back, please!” Yui tried to take the phone from him, but every time it seemed just within reach, Ayato dodged her. He seemed to be enjoying the look of despair on her face. He then tossed the phone to Subaru.

Just as she thought he would return it to her, Subaru’s expression changed to a look of disgust, and Yui knew immediately that he wasn’t going to.

“W-what are you doing?”

“This.”

With one swift movement, Subaru snapped the phone in two.

There went Yui’s lifeline to her father. Why are they doing this?

“This is cruel…”

“Shut up.”

Watching the tears forming in Yui’s eyes at the sight of her broken cell phone, Subaru shot her an irritated glare.

“Oh, Bitchlet, don’t be sad!” Laito said cheerfully and patted her shoulder as if to console her. “We’re going to get along great, so you won’t need your cell phone anyway. Okay?”

Before she had time to think about it, she had been sandwiched between Laito and Kanato.

“I’ve been so hungry.”

Kanato edged closer to a now distraught Yui as he spoke, and Laito simultaneously leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“Ah… You smell so good, Bitchlet.”

Huh? I’m not even wearing perfume.

Just as she pondered his remark, the light reflected off something in the corner of her eye. She tilted her head to look, and it turned out to be the canine teeth poking out from Laito’s mouth when he bent down to her neck as if he was going to bite her.

The thunder rumbling in the distance coincided with a fearful scream from Yui, both reverberating through the room.

I have to get out of here. Now.

She dashed for the door, but in her haste, her foot caught on something and she fell flat on her face. Yui scrambled back up, but a flash of pain ran through her leg. Looking down, she saw blood welling up from a cut in the skin of her knee.

Suddenly feeling the brothers’ attention on her again, Yui raised her face. She was met with their ominously glistening eyes. Their unusually sharp canine teeth were now plainly visible. It’s… like they’re…

“V-vampires…”

Yui reached for something in her pocket and held it up in front of her face.

“Eat this!”

It was the rosary that she’d gotten from her father.

Vampires should be weak to crucifixes! However, much to her disappointment, the brothers didn’t cower in fear. From the sofa by the window where Shuu lay, Yui even heard a low, mocking laugh.

“Huh?”

Why didn’t it do anything?

“Good grief…” Reiji said, exasperated. “The theories that vampires are weak to garlic, crucifixes, the sun, and that sort of thing… are all myths invented by humans. Did you earnestly expect that to work on us? That only proves how foolish you humans really are. This is most displeasing.”

Oh…

Yui made a dash for the door.

“You really haven’t an ounce of discipline, have you?” she heard Reiji say irritatedly from behind her as she ran.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The sound of Yui’s desperate, careless footsteps echoed through the entrance hall as she ran. The thought that they were not just no ordinary humans, but actual vampires, was incomprehensible.

I have to get out of here as fast as I can!

Having run blindly focused on getting away, Yui came to a halt. Wait, which way should I even go? She wasn’t sure if it was because the mansion was so big, but there were so many hallways that looked so similar to one another that she quickly lost track of where she was. However, she had no time to hesitate. I have to run, or they’ll catch up to me…

Yui sped off again at the memory of the threatening look in their eyes.

Shortly after that, she spotted a table loaded with different kinds of sweets at the end of the hall. What is this doing here? As she eyed the sweets in suspicion, Kanato suddenly appeared from the shadow under the table.

“I’ll break you.”

“Oh!”

The way Kanato smiled at her made her quickly continue her path. What was he doing there?

A small desk with a landline phone on it caught Yui’s attention when she turned the corner into another hallway.

Good, I can use it to contact my father… If I can, I could make it out of here somehow… Yui picked up the receiver, but the cord that she thought had been connected to the phone before had now been cut.

Oh no… Briefly stunned, she lost hope.

From somewhere in the distance, Laito’s voice called out to her. “Hehe… I told you you wouldn’t need a phone anymore living here.”

Yui frantically looked around to see where he was. Laito was nowhere in sight.

“Come and find me, Bitchlet…”

He probably enjoyed the sight of her frightened. Laito’s voice made her shrink away in fear. While scrambling backwards, she bumped into someone, and Yui held her breath as she felt hands closing around her shoulders.

Please, no…

“Guess who?”

Yui yelped.

Terrified by Laito whispering so close to her ear, she quickly shook off his hands and ran.

When she somehow finally reached a door, it wouldn’t budge. No way! Why won’t it open?

“Please, please open!” She pounded her fists on the door, but it didn’t help at all. I’m going to have to look for a different way out…

Before she could move away, two hands reached out on either side of her and pushed Yui’s body against the door. It was Ayato.

“Where are you going? This is the part where you scream for my amusement. Let me hear you cry out, at the top of your lungs.”

Yui was trapped in his arms.

“You can’t run away, you know.”

The girl was somehow able to shake Ayato off as well, and ran in the opposite direction, deeper into the mansion. I’m better off finding a place to hide…

Upstairs, Yui found a room that looked suitable for hiding, but the door didn’t open when she turned the knob. As she ran down the dimly-lit hallway on the second floor, she heard the sound of something unlocking.

Yui spotted a spiral staircase further down the hall. Did it come from up there?

She followed the stairs and came to a stop in front of yet another door. Padlocks and chains were scattered on the floor before it.

It’s unlocked. I should hide in there.

Yui went in and shut the door behind her.

The dim moonlight gave the room a gloomy atmosphere. Yui looked around. There were many pieces of furniture and paintings with sheets draped over them, as well as different kinds of tools. Everything was covered in a layer of dust, making it seem like nobody ever came in here. It might be a storage room, Yui thought as she padded through the room to a dresser. Her eyes fell onto the accessories spread out on top of it, which were adorned with gemstones and glittered in the moonlight. But if they’re laid out like this, this must be someone’s room after all?

Yui’s gaze unintentionally shifted to the window.

A woman was standing on the balcony.

The woman’s back was turned to Yui, so she couldn’t see her face, but her long purple hair shone in the moonlight. She gave off an elegant aura in her long dress, which was almost as purple as her hair.

The purple-haired woman noticed Yui’s presence. Just as she turned to look at her, an intense pain spread through Yui’s torso.

Yui choked on air.

What’s happening?

She had never experienced such pain in her chest before.

I can’t breathe… Her heart started beating erratically, her vision slowly becoming blurry. The pain was so severe that she lost her footing and collided with the bookcase along the wall, sending books tumbling to the floor. Yui could only focus on bearing the agony.

After a little while, the pain subsided.

What on Earth was that?

Yui snuck another glance towards the window, but saw nothing but the new moon in the night sky outside. Did I just imagine all of that? The pain in her chest and the illusion of that woman might not even be so strange in the line of things that had already happened today.

The books that had fallen from the bookcase caught Yui’s attention. Alongside a number of books was a leatherbound notebook. Her eyes stopped on a picture that had slipped out from between the pages when she had bumped into the bookcase.

“This is… Dad?!”

The picture depicted a priest holding a small, sleeping baby. So that baby is…

“Me?”

But how did this picture get here?

When Yui looked at the notebook from which the picture had slipped out, the writer summarised their day’s events and achievements in a familiar handwriting.

“So this is my father’s diary. But why?”

Why would it be here of all places? I might understand if I look inside.

She opened the diary and began reading.

Yui brings me so much joy. The fact that she is not my own child bears no meaning at all. She is truly a blessing, and I am nothing but grateful for every day I get to spend with her…

Yui could not believe her eyes.

“What does he mean, I’m not my father’s child? What is this diary even doing here?”

Am I not his biological child? It couldn’t be so…

“To think you went into this room, of all places.”

The sudden sound of Reiji’s voice made Yui look up, and she saw that the Sakamaki brothers had somehow all gathered in the room in the blink of an eye.

“This is a forbidden room. Nobody is allowed inside.” Reiji glanced at the door and let out a heavy sigh. “I will have to put new locks on it.”

“Really, though. How did you even get in, Bitchlet?” Laito asked and crouched down before her, but even Yui did not know why the room had been unlocked.

I didn’t even unlock it myself…

Yui tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t quite come out.

Kanato stood before her as well, leering down at her. “You’re nothing but food, so please stay still so I can eat.”

“I-I’m not food…”

“Quit complaining already.”

Yui shrieked when Subaru slammed a fist into the wall like he had before, sending more books falling from the bookcase to the floor.

“Oh, not again, Subaru.”

“Fuck off.”

While Laito and Subaru bickered with one another, Yui looked on, frightened beyond her wits. What should I do? I’m surrounded. There’s no way I can run now.

What are they going to do with me?

“That face…”

Someone grabbed her chin and forced her to look up. There was Ayato, his face splitting into a satisfied grin.

“It’s so tempting.”

“Let me have a bite, too!”

“I want to lick her.”

“N-no…”

The triplets started towards Yui.

“You have no right to refuse. The only thing you need to know is this: you can most definitely not run from us,” Reiji stated plainly.

“Beating around the bush, as always. What he means to say is that we’ll kill you if you try to get away.”

Yui had no choice. She was surrounded by the triplets as she quietly took in Reiji’s and Subaru’s words. On either side of her, Ayato and Laito took turns turning her neck this way and that, and when Kanato stretched out a hand towards her, Yui let out a fearful scream.

“Please stop!”

CRASH!

Yui screamed, and the sound of glass breaking pierced the air. The triplets, who had been swarming around her in an attempt to steal her blood, snapped their heads in the direction of the sound.

A few landscape paintings had fallen over by Shuu’s feet, and glass was scattered all across the floor.

“My bad,” Shuu said, and turned his back toward her. Yui’s eyes must not have conveyed her desperate need to be saved from the triplets.

While she was rooted in place, terrified, the realisation dawned over Yui.

Even if I run, I have nowhere to go.

“Hey, Pancake.”

Yui, still startled at the nickname, turned around. Her mind could barely keep up when Ayato grabbed her by the throat and pushed her down onto the floor.

“Are you ready to accept your fate?”

His eyes had a dangerous twinkle in them as he hovered over her. Yui could no longer find the resolve to move away. Ayato pinned her to the floor and held her gaze, his sharp fangs glistening in the light of the new moon peeking through the window.

Please, save me…

“Oh, God!”

However, Yui’s voice never reached Him.

#my japanese has gotten so much better since I translated the CL stuff too (and like half of every page of this book is blank space lol)#so that makes it really easy to translate tbh but I don't want to promise anything since I kinda disappeared without a trace last time ;-;#also idk if any of you noticed but most of the drama CDs have been removed from soundcloud?#so yeah i've had a stable job for a while now (nice) which has allowed me to hoard my favourite drama CDs from the franchise (also nice)#i bought 8 of them in the past 2 months whoops #i also got a bunch of stuff from the purify blood kuji and i might put it up for sale later bc it's mostly characters that i don't like hah #like what do i do with a naked shin pillow case. it looks really nice but how do i explain that when someone comes over dkjfdkjfjkd #but yeah glad to be back here i hope you're all doing splendid!#diabolik lovers #dialovers #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers translations #diahell #my translations #otomehonyaku #Diabolik lovers novelize #Diabolik lovers novelization

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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 2 months

Text

Never Say Never

Chapter 13

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 8.1K

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Steve stretched up on his toes, holding the banner in place so Jonathan could tape it across the threshold between the dining room and kitchen. Robin and Dustin were blowing up balloons in the living room while Nancy and Karen worked on the food in the kitchen. Ted was where he could always be found, leaned back in a recliner, watching television, oblivious to the fact that everybody was helping but him.

Honestly, Steve could not figure out how he and Karen were still together. He couldn’t figure out how they’d gotten together in the first place. Nancy said her mom saw stability with her dad but they were the oddest couple he’d ever seen. And that was saying something considering who his parents were.

Karen was just so vibrant, upbeat, and full of energy. She still went to jazzercise three times a week. Her and Nancy had run a marathon last summer. She was the first to offer to help or watch Jere when needed. Ted was so boring and completely useless. Whenever he opened his mouth, everyone just stared at him because he added nothing productive to the conversation even when he actually decided to join in. He’d never shared those views with Nancy, obviously, as that was her dad but he was pretty sure she felt the same way.

Mike and El were up in Jeremiah’s room, amusing the birthday boy with a round of Battleship while he anxiously awaited the arrival of his best friend. Jere had been systematically kicked out of every room in the house. He’d been kicked out of the kitchen after he’d knocked an entire tray of strawberries to the floor, causing Dustin to announce he could run to the store and grab more before Nancy had a meltdown. He’d then proceeded to pop six balloons as he karate chopped and kicked them as fast as Robin was filling them. By the eighth time of him asking Steve if it was time yet, Steve had practically begged the two of them to get him focused on anything else.

“So, Nancy told me your new girlfriend is coming to the party,” Jonathan commented with a sly smile, climbing down from the stepladder. He was sure Nancy had relayed everything Jere or Steve had told her the minute she heard it. “Must be getting pretty serious if you’re inviting her to Jere’s birthday and introducing her to Nance. You’ve never brought a girl around Jere so quickly before.” He stepped back to assess his work, high fiving Steve when they both deemed it good.

“I don’t know. I mean, yeah. I want it to be serious. It definitely seems like it might be serious. But Jere had already met her before we started dating so her being around him this quickly doesn’t really count. We met because she wanted to set up a playdate for the boys.”

“You two exclusive?”

“Yeah. We agreed on that last week,” he laughed, shaking his head. “You would have thought I was some fifteen year old boy who’s never talked to girls. I don’t know why I had such a hard time just asking her to be my girlfriend. I’ve never had a girl get me so tongue twisted before but I like her. I really like her, man. She’s pretty amazing.”

“Sounds like it. Jere says she’s your Lois Lane.”

“Of course he did. Always a superhero reference with that kid. But he’s not wrong. I don’t know. We haven’t known each other all that long but it just feels…different, somehow. I’ve been in a lot of relationships, you know. Like, a lot, a lot.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” snorted Jonathan. “We all started taking bets on how long each lady would last. I lost on Janet by a week. Lucas rubbed that one in my face for a while.”

“You guys take…seriously?” Steve groaned, his hand slipping over his mouth and jaw. Of course his friends would make his sad love life into a game. “Please tell me no one is doing that this time. The last thing I need is her hearing that my friends are placing wagers on how long we last. I’m pretty sure she already thinks I’m some kind of lady’s man.”

“Nah, man. No one’s doing that this time. For one, we haven’t even met her yet. It’s hard to judge before actually seeing the two of you together. And according to Robin and Dustin, they think this one might actually stick. If those two are saying that, then I have to believe it's possible. They’d be the first to call bullshit.”

“Trust me, Robin would have no problem calling it what it is. Hell, she wouldn’t even talk about it with all of you behind my back. She’d just tell me to my face. She told me Janet was crazy the same night she met her. She told me Jill was a narcissist after hanging out with her twice. She told me Heather was annoying and she’d never be able to put up with her if we stayed together. She told me Rachel was just using me to get back at her ex. She’s got everybody’s number from the moment she meets them. This is the first girl she actually hasn’t complained about.”

“At all?” Jonathan’s brows lifted in disbelief. “Hard to believe. Robin doesn’t seem to think anyone is good enough for you.”

“I mean, she was worried initially. She is a widow. Her husband was a Marine and he was killed in action. It happened two years ago and she hasn’t dated anyone since. Robin worried that maybe she would use me as her jumping board. You know, first relationship after losing her ex, a way to dip her toe into the waters. But after meeting her, she thinks she’s the real deal. The two of them have been getting along great, actually. They went out for dinner Wednesday night while I kept the boys.”

“Wow. Impressive. She approves and she wants to hang out with her. I’d say this girl has the Robin Buckley stamp of approval and I know how important that is.”

“Yeah,” snorted Steve, “kind of a necessity in my life.”

“Well, I can’t wait to meet her.” He nodded his head toward the kitchen. “I’m gonna go check on Nance. Make sure she’s got it all under control with the food.” He lowered his voice, hand up by his mouth. “And make sure she’s not getting too high strung over a kid’s birthday party. None of us need high strung Nance.”

Steve laughed knowingly. Nancy was the one you wanted when it came to organization but she could also be a little Type A about it. And if you let her work up too much steam, there was no slowing her down. That’s why Jonathan was so good for her. He knew exactly how to handle her when she was chugging down that track just a little too fast.

As Jonathan walked away, Steve made his way to the living room. Robin and Dustin appeared to have a system going. He would fill the balloon with air from the tank and hand it to Robin, who was tying them off. They probably had thirty balloons at this point, all yellow and black in honor of the special visitor that would be arriving later.

“You know, that’s probably enough balloons,” Steve teased. “Too many more and this house is going to lift right off the ground.”

“Nance specifically said she wanted fifty balloons,” Dustin snapped, grabbing another from the pile. “So, we are giving her fifty balloons.”

“Why fifty?”

“I don’t know, Steve,” sighed Robin, giving him that exasperated look she always gave when she felt like he was asking a stupid question. It happened far more often than it should. “Why don’t you go ask the mother of your child why she requires fifty balloons.”

It was a challenge and they both knew it. Nance would be at maximum anxiety level right now. She was handling everything for the part and until everything was checked off her list, until it was all exactly how she planned, and the event itself had begun, it was better to steer clear. Questions would only lead to icy stares and a sharp tongue. He knew way better than to get in her way.

“Nope. I’m good. Stepping into Nance’s rage cloud is Jonathan’s job now. And he’s in there doing it as we speak. I’m just gonna stay out here, far away.”

“What time is the girlfriend arriving?” asked Dustin, grinning up at him.

Steve looked down at his watch, “About fifteen minutes or so. I told her the same time we told everyone else.”

“Who? Lucas, Max, Hop, Joyce, Will, and Nolan? Speaking of, how did they get out of helping while I’m stuck sitting here blowing up an insane amount of balloons?”

“Talk and fill!” Robin snapped at him. “We’ve got eighteen more balloons to go before everyone gets here.”

“It’s the gang!” argued Dustin. “Well, and Steve’s girlfriend. It’s the same people who are here all the time. Who is Nancy trying to impress? Your new girl? You think she’s going to walk in and go, this party is okay but you know what would really have made this party great? Eighteen more balloons.”

“Do you want to deal with the wrath of Nance when she counts and there’s not fifty? Because you know she’ll count.”

“Damn it. She will,” he huffed, placing another balloon over the pump. “Why is your ex so scary?”

Laughing, Steve shrugged, “You’ve known her longer than me. You tell me.”

The front door opened, Will stepping inside with Nolan right behind him, balancing three very large wrapped boxes in his arms. Steve ran forward to help, taking the top two from him.

“What the hell, man? Did you buy him stereo speakers or something?”

Will smiled, “No.”

“You had to get him three things?”

“He’s my nephew. Of course I had to get him three things.”

“It was going to be five things but I talked him down,” Nolan said, dropping the box he still had with the pile of growing presents that sat in the corner of the living room.

“I’m his favorite uncle and I intend to keep it that way.”

Dustin’s lips came together as he blew a big raspberry, “Whatever. We all know I’m his favorite.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble but neither of you hold a candle to me,” Robin stated, tying off the next balloon, putting them at thirty-eight.

“You’re not an uncle. You’re an aunt,” Dustin pointed out.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m the favorite overall so that makes me the best.”

Steve shared a look with Nolan, both men rolling their eyes and shaking their heads. The truth was, Jeremiah adored everyone in his life and Steve would forever be grateful that he had so many people who loved him. Yeah. The pile of presents was large. But the support and devotion they all gave his son was more valuable than anything else.

Jeremiah had something that Steve never had growing up. He had a family. A family who cherished him, spent time with him, and supported him in everything he did. That kid had to have the biggest cheering section of anyone. The cheers were deafening when he walked across the stage at his Kindergarten graduation. His first baseball game was coming up in a couple weeks and Steve had no doubt that most of the people in this house would be in attendance to cheer him on.

“Will! Nolan!” Nancy squealed, exiting the kitchen, still looking picture perfect after hours of preparation for the party. She hugged each man in turn as if it had been months and not simply days, since she’d seen them last.

“Hey man.” Jonathan followed her, giving his brother and Nolan each a hug.

“Who’s manning the restaurant if you’re both here?” asked Dustin, remaining in his spot, dutifully filling the balloons until they reached fifty.

“Shelly is taking care of things for a few hours,” answered Nolan.

Will strolled into the living room, dropping down on the couch, “Yeah. She’s really been a lifesaver. It’s been nice having someone we can trust to handle things so we can actually both be off at the same time. You know, actually spending time with your husband really helps keep a marriage together. If she keeps doing such a good job, we might even consider taking a vacation.”

“We’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii,” Nolan added. “It seemed impossible but with Shelly, we might be able to do it.”

Will and Nolan were not legally married but everyone, including them, acted as if they were. They had a small ceremony in their backyard last year with just their closest friends and family. As far as Steve was concerned, they were married in all the ways that mattered. It was bullshit that the law wouldn’t recognize it. Steve had never seen a more positive example of what marriage should be.

Will had been so nervous to introduce them all to Nolan after they’d first met. He hadn’t told anyone that he was gay, yet. But it hadn’t been a huge surprise. Will, who’d never seemed interested in dating or girls. Will, who’d looked at Mike as if the sun shone on him since they were eleven. Yeah, they pretty much all knew. Steve was just happy he’d moved on from pining for something that was never going to happen and found someone who made him happy. There was nothing worse than pining for the wrong person. He knew. It was how he wound up married when Nancy came back.

The front door opened again, Hopper’s big voice booming through the house, “I hear we’ve got some kid in here who thinks it’s okay to keep growing and now he’s turning eight!”

“Shh!” Nancy chastised with a laugh, taking the gift bag from his hands to deposit it with the gifts. “Mike and El actually have him entertained right now. If he hears his Pops he is going to come running back down here.”

“So?” Hopper opened his arms wide. “The kid loves his Pops.”

“We all know he does but he’s been extremely underfoot,” Steve explained. “And he won’t stop asking when his friend, Eli, is getting here.”

“Eli? Eli with the pretty mom that you brought into the restaurant?” questioned Joyce, her lips curving up knowingly.

“Yeah, that Eli.”

“Oh, oh, oh!” Hopper bellowed, slapping Steve on the back. “You got a girl, kid? A girl who’s coming to your son’s birthday party? Sounds pretty serious! Why wasn’t I told about this?” He lifted an eyebrow at his wife.

“I just forgot to mention it,” shrugged Joyce. “Besides, you know now.”

“It is pretty serious,” Nancy smirked. “Steve is smitten. He gets all red in the cheeks when he talks about her.” She pinched his cheeks and he pulled his head away with a sigh.

“Seriously,” Robin snorted. “He’s like a little puppy who’s feet are too big, tripping all over himself whenever she’s around. It’s adorable, actually.” She tied off another balloon. “Fifty!” Holding up her hand, Dustin indulged her in a high five. “Jesus, that was a lot of balloons.”

“Great!” Nancy grinned. “Now we just need to tape them around the archway, along the table, and above the banner.”

Dustin groaned, head falling back against the couch, “Seriously? Nance, who are you trying to impress?”

“My son only turns eight once and I want it to be perfect. Now come on. We’ve only got a few minutes before Steve’s girlfriend and her son arrive and not long after that Batman will be here. I want this place birthday party perfect before Jere comes down.”

They all pitched in and with so many hands, they had the balloons affixed in no time with Nancy directing, of course, standing back, telling them where to place each one. In the midst of all the directing, grumbling, and complaining, Max and Lucas arrived, immediately being handed balloons and put to work.

Steve glanced over at the clock, edgy and tense when he saw that it was two minutes past the time he’d told you to be here. Had you decided not to come? Had the idea of meeting his ex been too much for you? He shook it off. He was being ridiculous. You'd never been here before. You probably just got lost or hit traffic or hell, maybe you had a hard time getting Eli out the door. He knew how easy it was to be late when you were managing a child.

A hand landed on his back and he glanced over to see Robin, “Calm down. I’m sure she’s coming. Not everybody is super punctual like your ex is.”

“I know, I know. I just…” His words cut off when your car pulled up out front, parking in front of a house across the street. “She’s here.”

____________________________________________________________

“Finally!” Eli dramatically cried from the backseat, throwing his hands in the air. You would have thought this drive took two hours instead of fifteen minutes the way he’d been moaning and complaining the entire time.

“Yes. We’re finally here.”

Unbuckling, you looked up at the cute little house that was your destination. The warm, welcoming brick home with brightly colored tulips in the garden should not be the most terrifying thing you'd ever seen. But your insides curdled as if this were a horror movie you were suddenly trapped in, doomed to face your inevitable demise.

Steve’s ex-wife was just there, right across the street. What was she going to think of you? Would she hate you on sight simply because you were the new woman? Would she be cold and nasty? Or even worse, would she be fake nice, that kind that was so sickly sweet it gave you a toothache even though you could hear the venom dripping underneath? What would she say to Steve after you left? Would her opinion convince him that dating you was a bad idea?

“Mommy! Don’t forget his present!” Eli yelled, unbuckling himself as you were stepping out of the car.

“I know, buddy. I got it.”

You popped the trunk, pulling out the small gift bag inside that featured Batman and Robin. Eli had begged to get Jeremiah the Diddy Kong Racing game for his Nintendo 64. It had been twenty-five dollars, a bit more than you'd planned on spending, but Eli had given you those big hopeful eyes and you just couldn’t bring yourself to say no.

It was his best friend’s party and you usually kept the budget around ten dollars for stuff like that. But it was also your boyfriend’s kid’s birthday so you figured you should spend more. How much more, you had no idea. You didn’t want to go overboard. Then everyone would look at you like you were trying to buy your way in and that certainly wouldn’t go over well with the ex. But if you didn’t get something good enough they would all think you were cheap and didn’t care enough about Jeremiah.

In the end, Eli had made the decision for you. You could always laugh it off with how badly he’d insisted on that particular gift for his friend. You'd never been so stressed just picking out a birthday gift. But this was already a very tight knit circle and you were the outsider trying to find your place. You didn’t want to mess it up.

Taking Eli’s hand, the two of you made your way up the sidewalk. Your son bounced with anticipation while you trudged like you were heading to the gallows. The front door opened just as you reached the bottom of the stairs and Steve stepped out, the mere sight of him soothing some of your anxiety.

“Hey! You made it!”

He opened his arms wide and Eli ran straight into them for a hug, sending Steve off balance. He caught himself, hugging your son before wrapping an arm around you, pressing a light kiss to your lips. You didn’t miss the variety of faces all looking out the front windows at you.

“Hey! You stepped on my foot!”

“Stop pushing!”

“I was here first!”

“Would you give the poor kids some privacy? They’re not animals on display at the zoo!”

“Quiet! They’re gonna know we’re spying on them!”

“We already know! You guys are extremely loud!” Steve bellowed, rolling his eyes toward you. “Sorry about that. They’re all very excited that you’re here.”

“Oh…that’s nice.” You swallowed down the anxiety that was creeping up. No pressure or anything. “Sorry. Eli couldn’t decide which Batman shirt to wear and I am pretty sure he tried on every single one he owns before we finally made it out the door.”

“No worries. The Dark Knight doesn’t arrive for another twenty minutes or so. You made it in plenty of time.” He grinned down at Eli and then leaned in, his hand resting on your low back, thumb brushing soothingly as he whispered, “It’s going to be fine. If you couldn’t tell, they are all really excited that you are coming.”

A nervous smile lifted the corners of your mouth as you nodded, inhaling slowly through your nose. You could do this. The worst that could happen would be that Nancy would hate your guts. That would be something you would have to navigate but you could. Couldn’t you? Lots of people dealt with exes who weren’t fond of the new girls or guys in their lives. You'd just never imagined you would be one of them.

You'd barely stepped inside when a voice called out your name and then arms were wrapping around you in a welcoming embrace. Brown curly hair covered your vision as you returned the hug, a bit overwhelmed and shocked by it to do anything but reciprocate. When the bearer of the hug pulled back, you were looking into the face of a very pretty woman with stormy blue eyes and the cutest little button nose you'd ever seen.

“H…hi…” you stammered, realizing this must be the ex wife as she was the only woman in the room that you'd yet to meet.

“Hi! I’m so sorry to just bombard you like that but I’ve been dying to meet you. Steve and Jere have talked about you so much. I’m so glad you two could come today. Jeremiah has been asking about Eli non-stop. He’s going to be so excited you’re here.” She paused, laughing. “Sorry. I’m Nancy by the way, in case you didn’t already figure that out.” She leaned down to Eli’s level. “And you must be the famous Eli. I have definitely heard all about you.”

Eli beamed, proud to be so well known already, “Jeremiah is my very best friend in the whole world.”

“And you’re definitely his. My son is very lucky to have such a kind friend like you.” Nancy reached forward, ruffling his hair. “Why don’t you head upstairs? I’m sure you’ll be able to find his room. You’ll be able to hear them. Jere is playing games with his Uncle Mike and Aunt El. He’ll be so excited you’re here.”

Eli raced up the stairs, feet pounding loudly with excitement. You stood, a little taken aback. Nancy was nothing like what you'd expected or feared. She was so warm and welcoming. You might have wondered if it was all an act but the woman seemed as genuine as they came. She truly seemed excited that the two of you were there.

“So, Batman should be here in fifteen minutes or so. Would you like anything to drink?” offered Nancy.

“I’m okay. Is there anything I can help with?”

“I was just going to bring in the food from the kitchen if you want to help with that. Robin?”

“Absolutely,” you replied, pleased to be put to use. The last thing you wanted was to be left sitting or standing around awkwardly. You smiled at Steve as you followed Nancy into the kitchen, thinking this might not be near as awful as you thought. In fact, it might actually be fun.

____________________________________________________________

Two hours later, the adults were enjoying drinks on the front porch while the boys were systematically making their way through all of Jeremiah’s birthday gifts. They’d already roped Dustin, Mike, and Lucas into a game of Cranium, opened every single superhero figure he’d received and had an epic battle in Gotham City, annoyed everyone with a Furby that you were sure was actually a demon, and now they were taking turns with Jeremiah’s new scooter. One boy would ride it while the other ran after him and then they would swap.

Batman had been a hit, as if there’d been any doubt. Both boys had been absolutely starstruck when he’d swept into the house, announcing, “I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Batman. Now where’s this birthday boy?”

The college kid playing him had done an excellent job. He had the deep voice and the build for the superhero. He’d allowed the boys to use his grappling hook and his boomerang and set up a game where the adults were the villains and he and the boys had to stop them. Eli and Jeremiah had been giggling the entire time, especially when they got to tie up Steve with rope.

You leaned into Steve from your spot on the steps and he pressed a kiss to your temple, squeezing your shoulder gently. Nancy was grinning like a fool at you, something she’d been doing for most of the party. Contrary to your fears, the woman seemed truly happy for you. Robin was watching you too, a very satisfied smile sitting on her face, making you a bit nervous as it appeared she might be scheming. Given what Steve had told you about his best friend, it wouldn’t be out of character for her.

“You know, now that all of the introductions have been made and you are officially a part of our group, I think it’s about time we had a girl’s night so we can all get to know her a little better,” Robin announced.

“Yes!” El agreed brightly, looping her arm through Mike’s. “We haven’t had a girl’s night with all of us in forever.”

“Yeah, we need to know all your deep, dark secrets now that you’re one of us,” Max teased.

“Good grief,” grunted Hopper, standing on the sidewalk, a wreath of smoke around his head as he watched the boys. “You’re going to scare the poor girl off before Harrington even has a chance. Take it easy on her, girls.”

“Oh come on, Dad. We’re only teasing her,” El laughed with a roll of her eyes.

Lucas snorted, “She goes out with all of you and she’s going to be looking for the exit real fast.” He yelped when Max elbowed him. “Ouch! You know I’m right. I love you all but you can be a bit…much.”

“Much?” demanded Max, eyes wide. “Seriously, Lucas?”

He shrugged, ducking when Max made a swipe for the back of his head, and you had to swallow down your laugh.

“I think if you have a girl’s night, you should go to Brewed Awakening,” Karen sang, joining the crowd, two mugs of coffee in her hands, one of which she handed off to Joyce.

“Where’s Dad?” asked Nancy.

Karen harrumphed, “Do you even need to ask?”

“Snoring in my chair?” asked Jonathan knowingly and Karen pointed at him.

“Of course. Where else would he be?”

“Why should they go to the coffee place?” questioned Will.

“So one of them can finally get our Robin here to do what she’s been too scared to do for months,” Karen stated, patting the dark blond on the head.

“What’s that?” you asked curiously, leaning forward.

Robin glared at Nolan as he answered, “Robin has had a crush on the owner for months but she’s too chicken shit to actually make a move. Her excuse was that she wasn’t sure if she was into women but we have definitely confirmed that she is. In fact, multiple people in this group have confirmed that fact. So, now she has no reason besides her own cowardice.”

“Are you talking about June? I love June!” you stated. “I get my coffee from there all the time and she makes the most delicious sandwiches. I’d be happy to help you talk to her.”

“Talking to her is not my problem,” huffed Robin.

“Like hell it’s not,” argued Steve. “You trip all over your words whenever she’s around. I always do more of the talking while you stand there staring at your shoes, mumbling nonsense every few minutes.”

“Well…I mean, she’s so pretty. It’s hard for me to even look at her, let alone talk to her. I’m scared I’m going to just blurt out the wrong thing or keep talking when I should shut up. You know me. Even after I’ve said everything that I need to say, I just keep talking when I get nervous and she makes me nervous. That’s exactly what I did with Vickie so I figure maybe it’s better if I don’t talk.”

“So take the girls with you for backup,” Karen reasoned.

Joyce agreed. “Yeah. You’re always more confident when you have your support system with you. They can start the conversation and then maybe you’ll find a way to finally ask her out.”

“It took this guy six months to finally ask me out,” Nolan laughed, playfully jabbing his elbow into Will. “He kept coming into the restaurant where I worked and ordering stuff. I swear, the one day he was there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. When he came back in right before closing to order dessert, I finally asked him if it was the food he was coming for or me.”

Will’s face flushed scarlet. “I mean…” He shrugged shyly. “Look at him.” He gestured to the very fit man next to him. “Who wouldn’t have trouble talking to him? I never thought some super toned, athletic guy would be interested in a nerdy string bean like me.”

“Oh, I love my nerdy string bean,” Nolan crooned, kissing him on the cheek. “Nothing gets me hotter than hearing you talk about hit points and campaign plans. Plus, you’re easy to toss around.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Oh gross,” Jonathan groaned. “I do not want to hear about my brother making anyone hot and I definitely don’t want to hear about him being tossed around.”

You laughed, resting your head on Steve’s shoulder as you observed the playful banter amid the group. It was so nice how easy they all flowed. It was effortless, like a family should be. After the upbringing Steve had, you were thankful he’d been able to find such a supportive group of people to surround himself with. You were glad that you could now call yourself a part of that too.

“So Lucas, you must be pretty relieved now that tax season is over,” you commented.

The guy groaned, “Oh my god, yes. Why in the hell do so many people wait until the last minute to file? I have been working twelve hour days for the last two weeks.”

“Because they don’t want to pay the corrupt government their bullshit money,” Dustin snorted. “I didn’t file until the last minute I had to.”

“Yeah,” glared Lucas, “I know. I thought I was finally done and in strolls this dipshit at 9:30 at night.”

Dustin shrugged, “Listen, I did what I am supposed to but there’s nothing that says I can’t do it right before it’s due. I did it the night before so the postmark would be the correct date. I followed the rules.”

The conversation flowed easily. Max filled everyone in as much as she could on the case she’d been working on for the last month. Hopper dropped a couple amusing stories about arrests and stops he’d made recently. Mike dropped a bomb, telling everyone he’d finally decided to submit his book to some publishing companies. You were amazed to see how effortlessly it was to be in the middle of this large group.

Your pocket buzzed, interrupting just as Karen was sharing a story about a seventy year old woman who was putting everyone else at Jazzercise to shame. Pulling your phone from your pocket, you sighed when you saw it was Justin’s mom, Judith.

“Can you all excuse me for a minute? I have to take this.”

Walking toward the side of the house, away from the group, you braced yourself before answering. It wasn’t that you hated Judith but Judith could be…difficult. It had taken a long time for her to accept you, struggling to believe that anyone could be good enough for her son. She acted as if you were stealing her boy away from her instead of including you as part of the family. It wasn’t until Eli arrived that she finally seemed to begrudgingly accept that you weren't going anywhere. But she’d never exactly been warm or friendly with you either.

And since Justin had passed it had just become more complicated to navigate a relationship with her. She called at least twice a week, questioning you like she was a hard nosed detective interrogating you, as if she didn’t believe you could possibly take care of her grandson alone. She’d offered to let you and Eli move in with her and her husband after Justin’s death and had taken your refusal as a personal affront. Ever since then, things had been even more dicey between the two of you than they had before.

“Hi Judith.” You pressed two fingers against your forehead, willing yourself to be as upbeat as possible because the woman would notice immediately if you had any kind of tone.

“Aly, hello. I was just calling to check in with that grandson of mine. Can you put him on the phone?”

“Actually, he’s busy right now.”

“Busy? What do you mean busy? What could a seven year old possibly have on his schedule that would be more important than talking to his grandmother?”

This was exactly the kind of thing that grated you. This was what you tried to ignore every time. This level of self-importance that Judith placed on herself. She couldn’t stand not being number one in Justin’s life anymore so now she was vying to be Eli’s number one. There was not a reality where she could imagine her being less important than something or someone else. What she failed to realize was that love should not be a hierarchy where people were valued more than others. You could love multiple people and they could all be important to you.

“We are at his best friend’s birthday party and he is riding scooters with him right now.”

“Oh, well I’m sure if you told him that I was on the phone he could take a break.”

“No Judith. I am not going to do that. He’s having fun. I don’t want to interrupt him right now. Besides, that would be quite rude to his friend. He’s here for his party.”

“It would only be a few minutes.”

“I will have him call you when we get home later. I am sure whatever you have to say can wait a couple more hours,” you stated firmly and then sighed, softening your tone. “Besides, then he can tell you all about the birthday party.”

“Oh! Well, that’s true.” You could hear it. Judith was convinced, tickled at the thought of her grandson wanting to share all the details of his life with her. “Okay. But make sure he calls me. Make sure you don’t forget.”

“I won’t.”

“Well, I know how you get, darling. I know being a single mother must be challenging but you should really find a system for writing things down. You’re so forgetful these days.”

Your neck rolled at the dig. The truth was you weren't forgetful. You chose to forget that Judith had called on occasion because you could only take so many minutes of listening to her list all the ways that you were failing. You could only handle her reminding you how she’d offered to take you and Eli in so many times. And if you didn’t occasionally forget about her, you feared you were going to lash out at her. And no matter how Judith grated your nerves, she was still your son’s grandmother.

“I promise I will have him call you.”

Keeping the goodbyes short, you flipped your phone shut, the harsh snap satisfying. Inhaling slowly, you rolled your shoulders, relaxing yourself. The last thing you needed was to head back up there tense and ruin everyone’s mood.

“Hey, everything okay?” Steve asked as you approached, his eyes lasering straight through you, seeing through the mask you were attempting to wear. His hand settled on your shoulder and you felt your body respond, each tense muscle slowly loosening under his touch.

“Yeah. Everything’s fine. That was Eli’s grandmother. She just wanted to check in with him. I told her I would have him call her later after we got home.”

“Your mom?” asked Max with a tilt of her head.

“Uh…no…Justin’s mom, actually.”

Those eyes were burning into you even as you kept your gaze purposefully away from his. His hand trailed down your back, making slow circles through the fabric of your shirt, as if he could sense that you were on edge no matter how light you tried to keep your tone.

“Do they live around here?” inquired Nancy.

“No. They…they don’t.” Thank god they didn’t but you kept that particular thought in your own head. “They live over three hours away in Port Clinton, Ohio. It’s this city right by Lake Erie. We don’t really see them that much, honestly.”

“Oh. That must be hard for you two. Your parents aren’t close either, are they?” Nancy’s eyes were full of empathy, understanding from another mom. Most moms could at least envision how hard it would be to raise a child alone, empathize with the challenges. And really, for a while, until her and Jonathan got together, she had been doing it alone during the time she had Eli.

“No. They’re not. Even farther away actually, in Boston. But they usually fly out a couple times a year, around the holiday times. They…well…” You bit your lip, glancing up at Steve. You hadn’t dropped this particular bomb on him yet and this wasn’t really something you wanted to do in front of everyone. But you probably should, considering your mom had called two nights ago to tell you they booked flights for the week after school was out. “They're actually going to be visiting in about five weeks.”

“Well, that’s exciting!” beamed El. “Eli has to be happy.”

“Yeah. He is. They, well, they want to watch him play baseball. My dad is a huge Red Sox fan. He was even before they moved to Boston. I always tease him that that’s really why he wanted to move there. The job was just an excuse for him to be closer to his beloved team. And they…uh…they want to meet Steve, actually.”

Steve’s eyebrows lifted and your stomach clenched. Maybe this was all moving too fast. You'd barely been together and now you were asking him to meet your parents. Would this scare him off? For all the talking you'd done about taking it slow, the two of you seemed to be going from zero to eighty in a matter of seconds.

“You know, I can just tell them you’re out of town for work or something when they come,” you rushed to add. “My mom, while I love her, can be a bit much. The minute she found out I was dating somebody she was talking about a visit. I mean, she’s going to love you. She loves everybody but I know it’s really soon for all of that. It’s crazy, right? It’s not like we’re sixteen and you have to meet my parents before taking me out.”

Robin’s eyes went wide. “Damn. And I thought I rambled when I was nervous.”

Steve shot a glare her way and she held up her hands, leaning back against the post. “No. It’s fine. I’d love to meet your parents. Besides…” He paused, grinning, “...parents love me.”

“Its true.” Karen nodded. “I’ve adored him from the moment he walked through my door. I still love him even though he divorced my daughter.”

“But you got me in exchange,” teased Jonathan.

“That’s true.” She patted his shoulder. “And we love you too.”

“You really don’t have to if you don’t want to,” you told him. “I don’t want you feeling obligated or anything.”

“I don’t feel obligated. They can come to a game. I can cookout one day over at my place. In fact, let’s take them to Sage and Salt one night for a nice dinner.”

“Oh yeah!” Nolan agreed. “I will whip up some of my best dishes for your folks.”

“They will get the VIP treatment,” Will promised. “We’ll pull out all the stops for them.”

Joyce placed her hands on her youngest’s shoulders, “Will and Nolan will take really good care of them. And you’re not going to find better food in the whole town. Of course, I might be just a tad biased.”

“Maybe just a bit,” chuckled Will.

“You’re sure?” you asked Steve.

“Of course I’m sure. I can’t wait to meet the people who are responsible for you coming into this world.” He wrapped his arms around you, kissing your forehead. “Now I can thank them personally for making one of my favorite people I’ve ever met.”

“Oh my god,” gagged Dustin. “You guys are so sweet it’s sickening.”

“Don’t be jealous just because you don’t have anyone,” Mike mocked, slugging him lightly in the shoulder.

“You know, Dustin, there’s this girl at my work who…” Max began before Dustin cut her off.

“No. No. Absolutely not. Turn around and walk away with that thought right now. I am not going on any more dates that any of you set up for me. The last three have been a disaster. You’d think you don’t know me at all with the girls you try to set me up with.”

“Okay, even I will admit that Tammy wasn’t the best choice, but…,” Lucas admitted.

“But nothing! She was so self-involved. She kept pulling out her compact mirror to check her lipstick every five minutes. And every time I asked her a question or said anything, she said huh?” He opened his mouth wide, his eyes going glassy, clearly doing an impression of the girl. “She couldn’t even hold a simple conversation. And she kept talking about Devon Sawa.”

“I mean…” El shrugged. “He is pretty conversation worthy. Have you seen Wild America?”

Dustin’s eyes rolled up into his head as he gave a loud snort, “And Patricia! Are you kidding me? She told me she didn’t believe in dinosaurs and that fossils were planted by the devil to lure us away from God. You really thought I would mesh well with a girl who doesn’t believe in basic scientific facts?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t hook you up with either of them,” Max shot back. “Tammy was all Lucas and Patricia was all Robin.”

“To be fair, I didn’t know she was such a Jesus nut,” Robin defended. “I met her at the bookstore and she was standing in the Science Fiction section. I thought she’d be exactly your type.”

“The Science Fiction section that is right next to the Religion section?” demanded Dustin. “Did you even glance at the books that were in her arms because I guarantee you there was nothing there written by Dan Simmons or Connie Willis. But there was probably something written by men who claimed God spoke to them.”

“She didn’t have any books in her hands and you were so sad then. It had been months and you were still moping around about Suzie. I just thought going out with someone new might take your mind off of it or at least break you in a bit so you’d be ready to go out with someone new.”

“I was not moping!”

Steve guffawed loudly, “Oh yes you were. I found you laying in your bed, listening to Don’t Speak on repeat.”

“Whatever,” huffed Dustin. “The point is, I have learned my lesson. None of you are hooking me up with anyone ever again. I am more than capable of finding my own dates, thank you.”

“How about me?” you asked and they all turned to look at you. You smiled nervously, shrugging. “I mean, I’m not part of the group.”

“Oh, yes you are,” Mike stated. “Look, you’ve declared your relationship status with Steve. You’re even taking the step of introducing him to your parents. You have solidified yourself as a member of the group now.”

“Yeah,” agreed Lucas. “And I’m sorry to say, once you’re in there is no getting out. So, you’re stuck now.”

“It’s true,” Nolan shrugged. “Trust me. Once you’ve been inducted into the group there is no escape.”

Who were these people? Most people would be suspicious of a newcomer, or at least a little cautious, maybe a tad reserved until they got to know them but not them. They just accepted you. Steve was dating you so you were okay with them. Honestly, the way they just enfolded you into their group left you feeling so warm and fuzzy, like a sweater straight out of the dryer that just wrapped comfortably around your skin.

“Be that as it may, and for the record, I am perfectly okay with that seeing as I have no intention of trying to escape, I haven’t always been a part of this group. So you have no idea how my matchmaking skills are. And there’s this new nurse at my work. Her name is Heather and she’s really cute. Blond curls, gray blue eyes, adorable glasses…and she is totally into all that science stuff. I saw her reading "Neverwhere” the other day on her lunch.”

“A Gaiman fan, huh?” Dustin’s thumb and forefinger came to his chin, considering. Oh yeah, she had him interested. “That might have potential. How old is she?”

“Twenty-four.”

“Okay. What was she eating for lunch?”

“Why does that matter?” you laughed.

“Because it does. What was she eating?”

“A bologna sandwich, potato chips, and oreos.”

“Good taste in lunch food, too. Alright. I’ll tell you what. Since I don’t know you that well and you’ve never hooked me up with anyone, I will give you a shot. But just one. If this date goes sideways, no one…and I mean no one who is standing here right now gets to try to set me up ever again.”

“To be fair, I’ve never gotten a turn,” Joyce stated.

“Mama Joyce, while I love you with all the depth of the ocean blue, no thank you.”

Her mouth dropped open. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re sweet. You’re kind. You’re everything a mother should be and for all intents and purposes, you’re all of our mothers. But you married Hopper so I’m not entirely sure of your judgement skills.”

“Hey…what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Hopper blurted, folding his arms over his chest.

“I mean, come on Hop. We love you but…it’s like she married Smokey the Bear.”

“Oh yeah? Come here, kid!” He lunged off the porch and Dustin shrieked, darting away from him through the grass.

Your initial fear for the guy dissipated when you noticed they were both laughing. Hopper grabbed onto Dustin, placing him in a headlock and rubbing his fist over the top of his head. Eli and Jeremiah noticed the commotion, Eli jumping off the scooter mid-roll, the new toy dropping to the grass.

“Uncle Dusty! I’ll help you!” Jere cried, racing for Hopper and wrapping his arms and legs around one of the big guy’s.

“I’ll help too!” Eli yelled, wrapping around the other one.

“Oh yeah? Think you can pin me down?” Hopper growled playfully, releasing Dustin. He lifted one foot and then the other, both boys giggling gleefully as he walked slowly around the front yard. “You can’t stop me!”

Steve’s arms wrapped around you from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder. You leaned into the solidness of him, watching with amusement as the boys released Hopper’s legs and ran at him. The big man dramatically fell to the ground with a loud roar. Mike and Dustin immediately leapt on him, the boys jumping on each of them, and Hopper bellowed loudly.

“See? You both fit right in,” he murmured, his lips brushing over your ear. “You belong right here with all of us.”

Yeah. It really seemed like maybe you did.

Chapter 14

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lanitalay · 6 months

Text

Before I Say Goodnight Chapter 14

A/n: I hope you all enjoy this one!!!!!!! I feel like I could end it in one chapter or in 10 :')

Warnings: canon typical mentions/depictions of injuries, mentions of a toxic relationship.

Word count: 2.6k

Other chapters

Steady steps fill the air as Eris walks down the main hall of the House of Wind. He had not expected to be welcomed here in light of recent events.

“How is she?” He asks the shadowsinger posted outside a door, presumably hers.

“Stable”

“Is she awake?” The spymaster shakes his head “Sometimes, never for long”. Eris purses his lips at that, those last few moments in the clearing flashing in his mind “can I see her?” Azriel nods once and opens the door behind him. Eris is certain that he will remain on the other side of the door and that his shadows will be watching closely.

His breath catches in his throat when he sees her. In truth, he did not know what to expect. It had been days since that night and she had been given Feyre’s blood and a mix of power granted by two high lords, one high lady and one cauldron made fae. It was not something that had been documented before. He was relieved when she had opened her eyes in the clearing, but the white light that shot out of them had surprised him. She had been drained of her blood, kept in a dungeon for weeks, mauled by an ancient monster and struck by lightning. If he had to guess, she had done something to offend the Mother or another god. How does one come back from that?

The dark circles under her eyes had softened. He noticed the new points of her ears poking out of her hair that laid strewn across soft looking pillows. The lightning had left her with scars that peaked out of her shirt and went to the base of her neck. The bolt forever reflected on her once porcelain skin. He couldn’t see her leg but was relieved to see two outlines beneath the sheets. From what he had seen, it would not have been surprising that a healer would have recommended amputation. Her cheeks looked fuller, that was a good sign.

He stood there for a while, as she slept. There was so much guilt eating away at him for all of the things he had done during his father’s reign. Unspeakable and unforgivable things. He had tried to do some good, when he could guarantee that his father’s wrath would not be turned to him. He was brought out of his thoughts when she stirred.

“You can’t be serious” she grumbles and Eris tenses “we are going to have to discuss boundaries”. Her eyes are open and she seems… fine. No pain, no grogginess, no anger. “What?” She yawns “everytime I open my eyes you're there, you were always at the Manor, in the dungeons and now my room? I think we need to talk about getting friends your own age”. Eris stays looking at her and she rolls her eyes “not you too”. He repeats himself “what?”. “I need normal conversation, everyone has been acting like I’m going to break if they look at me wrong and I hate it” he relaxes his stance but remains uncertain “you got demolished by three separate entities, you should be dead, forgive me if I am not in the mood to banter”. She goes to sit up but winces and lays back down “no”. Eris crosses his arms at his chest “no, what?” She throws a pillow at him “I won't forgive you not wanting to banter” he catches the pillow “I did not realize you were enthralled by my humor” he walks closer to her bed and places the pillow where it had been “are you aware of the watchdog at the door?” She scowls “don’t call him that. But yes” and yells “it’s a waste of your time Azriel, I’m fine!”

A hint of a smile escapes Eris “you are the worst patient I’ve ever seen”. Now, she looks seriously pissed off “you try being bedridden for a week and see how you like it”. “You’ve been bed ridden?” She nods and grimaces “after everything went down the magic healed all my wounds but my leg was broken in so many different places and it healed all wrong. Madja has had to re-break and properly set the bones. They have not let me leave the bed”. A shiver runs down Eris’ back and just how brutal the attack had been. Any lighthearted energy having been sucked out of the room. “I wanted to apologize” she looks away from him and starts to pick at a loose string in the bedsheets and interrupts him “don’t”. He goes on “I have to, it was my father who got you into this whole mess and I could have done so much more to prevent it or to get you out sooner. I should have killed him years ago but I never had the courage and-” she held up her hand “Eris, please don’t”. He took a step closer “and I’m sorry you got hurt and tortured and I just stood by” she would not look at him but asked “did you notice that the bargain marks vanished?” He nodded. She took a breath and said “you kept your promise. I’m out. You never owed me any kindness. We were never even friends” that stung. “You deserved better” she made knots to the string she was fidgeting with “I hate when people talk like that, you can’t change what happened or what you did or didn’t do”. He took one more step “I think it's fair to lament what happened” she looked up and met his gaze “I think it's useless”. He could have flinched at the venom in her voice, but stood still when clouds and bolts of silver amassed in her eyes. She closed her eyes, breathed deep and said “let’s talk about something else” when she opened her eyes again, the storm was gone. Before he could think of what to say the door opened and Madja walked in, followed by Azriel.

“Good morning y/n, how are you feeling?” The healer asked while opening up her bag of bandages and tonics. “I’m fine, the leg is a little sore” Madja hummed and said “well we have the last procedure today. If all goes well you’ll be able to walk around in a few days”. Y/n smiled at the news “really?” Madja nodded “alright, I will need any visitors to say their goodbyes now” she searched through her bag for something and Eris took his cue to leave. But before he did said “I will be back in a few days”.

Azriel stood at the door throughout every procedure. His stomach churning every time he heard crunching or snapping coming from inside. She had been put to sleep again. Madja was done in less than an hour.

He waited by her bedside until she woke up. After the procedures she would wake up in pain and he would be there to give her the tonic Madja had prepared. “That never gets easier to get down” she gagged at the foul taste of the concoction. “I know, it does not taste good”. He remembers all of the times he’s been hurt and forced to drink it. “You’re done though, Madja said everything went perfect. You can try to walk tomorrow” she let out a sigh “thank God”. Azriel chuckled “here, Elain made you soup” and helped you sit up so you could eat.

“So what are you going to do?” Nesta asked, interrupting a very interesting scene in the book you were reading. She was keeping you company while Azriel was at a meeting in the River House. “About?” She closed her book. Oh lord. “About Azriel and Eris”. You frown “I’m still lost” she leaned closer “are you going to choose?” Now you scowled “I don’t know why I would choose between two friends” Nesta rolled her eyes. “Don’t be coy, y/n” you cross your arms, defensive “I am not being coy, I am not thinking of my love life at all”. Now, she leans back and says nonchalantly “Gwyn has been dying to ask Azriel out”. Your eyes widen and you curse at how those words irked you just how Nesta wanted them to. “Gwyn does not want to go out with Az” Nesta raised a sharp brow “she used to, but since you came into the picture she’s lost interest”. You huff “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that Azriel only has eyes for one person but that person seems to be undecided”

“Why do I have to make a choice now?”

“You don’t have to, I was just curious”.

“I barely know either of them”.

“You know them well enough to know how you feel”

“It’s not that simple” your voice quivers and Nesta’s expression softens.

“It seems simple to me”

“It’s not. I hate talking about it but I used to be engaged to a man, back in my world. He was not kind to me. But I stayed far longer than I should have because everyone in my life kept telling me that I had to, that I should. I also had a complicated relationship with my mother. She was very… controlling”. You got lost as you remembered how she would manipulate you “Anyway, it feels that all my life I have never made a choice for myself. The only true choices I have made was leaving him, traveling and then working at the apothecary. Everything else was either orchestrated by my mother or predetermined by fate. The portal being open, Lucien finding me, meeting Azriel, meeting Eris and now I am not even human anymore”. A wave of pain floods your chest at the reminder of your stolen mortality. “I just… as much as I might like Azriel I need to heal, in more ways than one”.

Nesta nodded “I’m sorry for everything. I understand feeling like things just happen to you without you having a say in the matter” the way her eyes darkened you knew she had also gone through something similar. You could recall from what Mor had told you that she had been made against her will and that she had a… destructive way of dealing with the trauma. “I love Cassian, he’s my mate but a part of me will always wonder about the mortal life I could have had or what I would have done if they had not locked me in this house. So I’m sorry for prying and pressuring you. I should have known better” tears are gathering in your eyes. She gets out of her chair, sits in front of you on the bed and pulls you into a hug. “I don’t know what to do,” you say, voice quiet. “Just focus on healing”.

The following day was better, you could finally stand and walk around.

The day after that was great, Madja said you could resume your usual activities as long as you did not put too much stress on the leg.

The following week she gave you the all clear that everything was perfect. Azriel was with you every day. Eris came to visit and was relieved to see you in better spirits and mobile again. Lucien had brought you gifts that Muriel, Jurian and Vassa had sent along. He told you that Muriel thought you had been sick all along and she had sent so many tonics and salves in hopes that you'd get better.Your heart warmed. It broke a little, too. Going back to the Human Lands was not an option now and that stung.

You were at the River House for a visit when Feyre asked you what you wanted to do now. “I have no idea, but I need to get out of the House of Wind”. Feyre furrowed her brows “why? Did something happen?” You shake your head “no, no, it's just that I feel bad asking to be winnowed or flown all the time and during the day nobody is really in the house and it gets lonely”. She thinks for a moment “you could stay at the town house if you want”. You raise a brow “town house?” She nods “we used to live there but the family grew so much we needed a bigger place. I don’t think anybody is using it now… so you could move there if you like”. That sounded perfect “yes, I would love that”. Feyre smiled “that’s perfect! You’d be so close you could walk here”.

“How will I ever repay you?” It was a sincere question, they had been keeping you alive since Lucien found you and you had no money for rent or anything. “You don’t owe us anything, you’re part of our family now” you hated how that scared you. “Seriously Feyre, is there a job I could do or something?” She shook her head “Nope, you will move to the town house and continue to heal. I think you could train with an apothecary here or even with Madja if you’re interested”. She went on to list every apothecary in town and how they would never say no if the High Lady asked them for a favor.

A knock startled you “come in”. “How was your day?” Azriel asks and closes the door behind him. He stays in place as he sees that you are packing up your clothes into boxes. “What are you doing” you look up at him “I was at the River House today and Feyre said I could move into the town house”.

“Oh”

“I was just telling her how it gets lonely here when all of you are gone and how I’d be more comfortable in Velaris rather than above it”

“When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow”

He didn’t reveal any emotion but you knew he was hurt. “She said there are several rooms… you could come with me, if you want” he shifted his stance, hands behind his back, wings tight. “Do you want me to go with you?” You reply “I don’t really want to live alone” he shakes his head. “Do you want me to go with you?” Yes, you wanted to scream. You wanted to shout and hug him and apologize for not asking him first and that he found out like this. You wanted to kiss away his frown until he was smiling. But you stood there not saying anything.

“Y/n”

“Yes” you step closer to him “I want you to come with me” you falter. Heart beating faster, hating the vulnerability. His hands come to his sides “are you sure?” You mentally curse him “yes, I’m sure”. You are standing a foot away from him. So close you can see a glimmer of something in his eye when you finish talking. “But I have to be honest with you” the glimmer disappears “Az, I…” A lump forms in your throat and you can’t get the words out. “I like you, ok? I like you a lot and I think you like me too but-”

He cuts you off “I do”

The lump gets bigger “but I can’t promise you anything other than friendship right now… I hope you can understand that”

He steps closer and your breath falters. He is so close. You want to reach up and just touch him. He grabs your hands and says “I’d wait any amount of time for you. You have my friendship, always”. His gentleness overwhelms you and tears well up. You groan “I feel like I’m always crying” he smiles and wipes away a few stray drops. You inhale “so you’ll come with me?” He nods and you want nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and kiss him.

Azriel laid in his bed feeling lighter than he had in years. She likes me.

Her words were a breath of fresh air, a cool summer breeze, a shimmering night sky. She likes me.

He could not stop replaying the moment. She likes me.

That night, he prayed that the fullness in his chest was something more than infatuation.

taglist: @luvmoo @leeknows-wife @nocasdatsgay @mybestfriendmademe

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evangelineshifts · 3 months

Text

OH MY GODS, YOU’RE RUTHLESS

Pairings: book!percy jackson x black!fem!reader

Word count: 5.3k (oops?)

Warnings: angst, mentions of death (literally in the underworld :/), hades being a dick (SORRY I LOVE YOU HADES), swearing (like one word), mentions of throwing up, pet names (angel, sweet girl, little dove)

a/n: this is kinda my first fic (?) so be kind! This is completely self indulgent as it’s literally a scenario for my desired reality so keep that in mind. If you want some back story visit my dr list on my pinned post! Have fun, stay super freaky, have great vagina I LOVE YAAA

I never considered the Gods to be enemies to myself. Of course, I could understand where the animosity the other kids held towards them came from, I just couldn’t find it in myself to share it.

I’ve always seen myself as quite the lover and I’ve always known that it was my undoing. Holding out till the very last minute to toss out hope for redemption. I’ll love until the ability is carved out of my sternum.

I hate it.

The pain that comes with being such a tender-hearted individual is nefarious. But that recurring pain that plagues the minds and souls of those who are cursed to live a life of love and loss is what tortures the poets; and makes for a dam good book.

I hope to be able to transfer my heart from sleeve to page one day. But for now, I’m forced to keep dwelling on the feeling of dread and despair as I march my way through the dreary entrance hall of Hades’ palace.

Truth be told it’s not that dreary, it’s incredibly well-decorated. I'm just determined to be a hater. After fighting monsters, dealing with death traps, and arguing with temperamental Gods, I'm ready for the quest to be over and done with. It’s not as glorious as everyone made it out to be.

I looked over at Percy as the four of us reached the big set of doors at the end of the hall. He looked to be struggling with the weight of his backpack but I couldn’t understand why. Unless Oreos had suddenly gained weight in the day or two that it took us to get here he should be just fine. He wasn’t that scrawny.

“Well, guys,” Percy said. “I suppose we should… knock?”

As if on cue, a hot wind blew down the corridor and swung open.

“I guess that means entrez-vous,” Annabeth said in an exaggerated French accent. I giggled at her pronunciation and she sent me a playful glare as we all tentatively walked into the room.

"You are brave to come here, Son of Poseidon," Hades said in an oily voice. "After what you have done to me, very brave indeed. Or perhaps you are simply very foolish. And you legacy child, well, I expected better of you.” He seemed almost saddened as he uttered the last line.

My three quest mates looked over at me with varying levels of confusion plastered on their faces, I had half a mind to shrug bemusedly as I tried not to show my growing guilt so plainly on my face. What did I have to feel guilty for? Why did I care what Hades thought?

Percy stared at me a few seconds longer before facing the god again with renewed vigor, “Lord and uncle, I come with two requests”

Hades looked toward me and lifted his eyebrows in a “Is he serious???” sort of way but truth be told, I was too in awe of Percy's sudden diplomacy to give him a reaction. I fully expected him to at least glare at him but maybe I underestimated his desire to get his mom back. Hades leaned forward on his throne, a subtle incredulity painted on his sculpted face,

"Only two requests?" Hades said. "Arrogant child. As if you have not already taken enough. Speak, then. It amuses me not to strike you dead yet."

Spoken like a true older sibling. Christ.

I looked over at Percy in time to see his throat bob with trepidation. My heart gives a twinge of empathy, poor kid has only been in this life for a little over a month and he's already facing the god of the dead.

“Lord Hades… Look, sir, there can't be a war among the gods. It would be…bad.” smooth, fish sticks.

“Really bad,” Even smoother Grover, thank you.

Annabeth and I share an exasperated look as I think over every action I've ever made in my life to land me here.

“Return Zeus’s master bolt to me,” Percy pleaded. “Please, sir. Let me carry it to Olympus.”

Looking at Hades I'm getting the feeling that was not the right thing to say. His eyes grew glaringly bright as his face crumpled in anger,

“You dare keep up this pretense, after what you have done?” He spat.

I'm getting sick of the vague accusations thrown at us, “Percy hasn't done anything. I don't know if you’ve noticed but he's very new to this whole thing. I mean look at him, he's like a baby fawn,”

Percy looked mildly offended but he looked more concerned at the fact that I was practically mouthing off at an already very angry god.

Hades fixed me with a furious glare and I was sure I was sure I was going to be smoted. But then he did the strangest thing, he closed his eyes and took a steadying breath and when he opened them again the rage that had previously engulfed his irises seemed to lessen. Only a tad but it's still strange.

“Do you think I want war, child?” He said in an eerily calm manner.

I looked at the others utterly perplexed and when my gaze landed on Percy I had to fix him with a warning glare just to be sure he didn't try to be a wise guy at the wrong time. The last thing we needed was for fish Jesus to be filleted.

“My lord, I’m afraid I don’t understand. Wouldn’t a war expand your kingdom?” I said carefully.

His eyes widen a tad as he look on with absolute disbelief and frustration, “Did my brothers tell you that?? Fucking typical. Do you think I need more subjects?! Did you not see the sprawl of the asphodel fields??” Hades said, his voice risen an octave.

I hesitated to reply but I found I didn’t need to as Hades took it upon himself to continue his rant, "Have you any idea how much my kingdom has swollen in this past century alone, how many subdivisions I've had to open?"

Percy opened his mouth to respond, but Hades was on a roll.

"More security ghouls," he moaned. "Traffic problems at the judgment pavillon. Double overtime for the staff and the mortals just. keep. dying. You know, I used to be a rich god, godling. I control all precious metals under the earth. But my expenses!”

I was suddenly overcome with the fear that I was gonna have to comfort this emo god on his economic problems. And then Percy spoke and I was saved, “Charon wants a pay raise,” He blurted. I just had to laugh.

Hades went on to gripe about Charon and his troublesome discovery of Italian suits. He insisted that a war is the last thing he wanted and I wish I could say I was surprised.

“But you took Zeus' master bolt.” Percy said.

"Lies!" More rumbling. Hades rose from his throne, towering to the height of a football goal post. "Your father may fool Zeus, boy, but I am not so stupid. I see his plan."

"His plan?" I questioned.

"He was the thief on the winter solstice," Hades said. "His father thought to keep him his little secret. He directed him into the throne room on Olympus,”

Before I could even open my mouth to object and say that I was at the winter solstice and Percy wasn’t even a member at camp yet, Hades steamrolled on,

“You took the master bolt and my helm. Had I not sent my Fury to discover you at Yancy Academy, Poseidon might have succeeded in hiding his scheme to start a war. But now you have been forced into the open. You will be exposed as Poseidon's thief, and I will have my helm”

"But..." Annabeth spoke. I could tell her mind was going a million miles an hour. "Lord Hades, your helm of darkness is missing, too?"

"Do not play innocent with me, girl. You and the satyr have been helping this hero-coming here to threaten me in Poseidon's name, no doubt-to bring me an ultimatum. Does Poseidon think I can be blackmailed into supporting him? And you girl!" He directed his attention back to me and I was left to wonder what was so special about me that he felt the need to keep addressing me individually.

“This betrayal is disappointing but not unseen. I would think you would know better.” He glared heatedly at me, apparently abandoning his attempts at civility.

"No!" Percy said. "Poseidon didn't-I didn't- (y/n/n) had nothing to do with this- none of us did!"

"I have said nothing of the helm's disappearance," Hades snarled, "because I had no illusions that anyone on Olympus would offer me the slightest justice, the slightest help. I can ill afford for word to get out that my most powerful weapon of fear is missing. So I searched for you myself, and when it was clear you were coming to me to deliver your threat, I did not try to stop you."

"You didn't try to stop us? But-" None of what he was saying was making any sense. Not according to what we knew anyway. Did we really know anything?

"Return my helm now, or I will stop death," Hades threatened. "That is my counter proposal. I will open the earth and have the dead pour back into the world. I will make your lands a nightmare. And you, Percy Jackson-your skeleton will lead my army out of Hades."

The skeletal soldiers all took one step forward, making their weapons.

At this point the smart thing was to probably be scared out of my mind, but with Hades threatening Percy, fear seemed to be the last of my worries. This boy who I had made fast friends with in the short time that I’d known him. The boy who had lost his mom and his old life all within five minutes and was just expected to be okay with it. Percy Jackson, the dork who watched teen titans with me during the uncharacteristic storm at camp and convinced me to make blue Shirley temples. My very own guppy.

Yeah me and Hades were gonna have words.

“Stop this, now.” I said in my sternest voice. Hades halted and looked at me with intrigue and… slight fear?

“He didn’t steal anything, Hades, enough with the unfounded claims. We didn’t even know your helm was missing until 2 minutes ago and up until then we thought you had the bolt.”

The other 3 went stock still with shock. I’m guessing they were saying their goodbyes to me in their heads but I’m not one to go down that easily. Even if I did want to cry from the confrontation.

Hades looked at me with unbridled fury but when he spoke you would’ve thought he was simply telling me not to steal from the cookie jar again,

“I have tried to be kind to you child. I have tried to treat you with respect as you have done for me in the past but your foolishness and insolence will be your undoing.” He paused for a moment seemingly cherry picking his next words, “What would your mothers think? Hm? How would they fare if they learned of your impertinence?”

I froze. My blood ran cold and my stomach was churning something awful.

“….what?” I said, trying my hardest to steady my voice but it was a lost cause at this point. Grover and Annabeth looked on with pity that could shrink me with a glance but Percy? Percy looked furious. He glared at the god with the fury of a thousand suns,

“Don’t talk about her mothers, leave them out of this- leave her out of this. This is between me and you-“

“SILENCE!” Hades bellowed, as the throne room shook but Percy didn’t even flinch. “You have said quite enough godling.” He spat out the word like poison on his tongue.

Hades turned back to me, a new smugness hidden in the depths of his eyes, “How about we see what they would think? Would you like that legacy child? Would you like to see your parents?” His lip curled in a smirk.

I could’ve thrown up at the thought. What did he mean? Surely he wasn’t going to bring them here? My head was like a circuit, thoughts lapping around my brain like race cars. In my periphery, I could see Percy physically shaking with rage. Grover and Annabeth looked like they wanted to reach out for me but thought better of it, fearing Hades’ next move.

Hades surveyed all of us, taking in the horrified silence as he grinned almost sinisterly. He lifted a hand to the far left wall of a throne room and the surface of it rippled like a disrupted pool.

All of a sudden colors and shapes flew into the frame and found a place on the wall. Almost as soon as it started an image came into focus. A dining room with light pink walls filled with pictures and portraits of hand painted flowers. Most of the pictures were of one woman, a ginger with deep brown skin, gorgeous amber eyes, and a blinding smile. She looked like the personification of the earth and everything good. She looked warm, safe.

In some pictures she was joined by another woman, a more stern looking one but beautiful nonetheless with her honey blonde hair and vibrant blue eyes a stark contrast to her tawny skin. She held a smaller smile than her auburn counterpart but it was no less happy. The way they looked at each other in some photos was almost baffling. I didn’t know you could capture such tangible emotion on camera but they made it happen.

As for the portraits, I would’ve guessed the paintings were professionally made if it wasn’t for the cute little smiley faces and hearts surrounding the flowers in almost every portrait. They were mature and yet so childlike at the same time. Precise strokes coming together to form stunning flowers of bright color. Lilies, gardenias, and orchids filled every frame. It was captivating how real they looked. I could’ve stared at them all day but my attention was drawn toward the dark oak table as a giggle erupted from one of the occupants.

My heart sank.

The same woman in the photos sat at the table seemingly working on another floral piece. My breathing quickened as I put the pieces together. As I stared at the ginger woman’s dimpled smile and traced the slope of the blonde's nose it clicked.

These were my moms.

The women who died when I was just a baby in an effort to protect me. And they succeeded but at what cost?

I ran over to the wall ignoring the calls of my worried friends. Tears clouded my vision as I tried to push all the words I wanted to say past the lump cemented in my throat.

“Mamma?” I said timidly, worried this was an illusion or they wouldn’t be able to hear me.

All of that faded away when the bubbly lady whipped her head around at the sound of my voice and her lover not far behind.

“(Y/N)…?” She called, voiced thickly coated in awe.

The dam broke.

Tear rushed down my face faster than I could process as I nearly yelled out for my mothers, “Mamma! Ma!”

They came rushing over to where I was and knelt down at what I’m assuming was a projected image of me to wherever they were, “Baby angel! What are you doing here??” My mamma, who I’ve deduced is the child of Artemis, Davina, wailed as she went to reach out for me before retracting her hand. Probably figured the image would fade if she did and I’m grateful for that.

“You shouldn’t be here little dove, it’s not your time you must go home.” My Ma, Alexandra, said. A crease firmly placed between her brows that contradicted the wobbling smile that was growing on her lips.

They looked at me with a type of adoration that had my knees wracking. This is the type of maternal affection I thought I would never get to receive in my life. Of course, I had Aunt Go-go but that wasn’t the same.

Before I could respond Hades cut me off, “We can get to all the loving pleasantries in a moment. We have more important matters at hand. Your daughter has aided a thief.”

I glanced at him quickly before I quickly tried to defend myself, adamantly denying his claims.

“He’s lying! She didn’t steal anything and neither did I!” Percy erupted, his stare burning into the god's own, “"You're as bad as Zeus, you think I stole from you? That's why you sent the Furies after me?"

I drowned out the rest of what they were saying as I could only focus on the fact that my parents were looking me in my eyes, “We believe your friend, angel. We know our sweet girl would never do anything to cause harm.” Mamma told me as she looked on with kind eyes. “You’ve gotten so big! I remember when you were just a little raisin”

We shared a watery chuckle as I tried not to bawl my eyes out.

“She’s got your eyes,” Alexandra said fondly as she looked between her daughter and her wife.

“And your nose,” Davina giggled, “What a gorgeous girl you’ve grown into.”

“Thank you,” I managed as I felt my face heat up, “Are you guys in Elysium? Could I come see you?” I said hopefully.

They both glanced at each other warily and I felt dread pool in my stomach. I whipped around to face Hades as the words tumbled out of my mouth, “I need to see them! Please let me see them, I’ll do anything” I begged.

“Anything?” I nodded fervently as the trio voiced their protests, “Return my property and I’ll allow you a visit with your mothers!”

I choked out a sob as I looked helplessly at the others, “We-we don’t have it. I swear, I swear we don’t have it! We came here for the master bolt. They-they told us you had the master bolt, that’s why we’re here. Please I’m begging you, just let me see my moms” I rushed out, desperately trying to convince him of mercy.

“ENOUGH WITH YOUR FALSITIES GODLING!” I flinched back at his booming voice, the throne room walls rumbling and the image of my parents warbling. I panicked. “You already possess the master bolt, you came here with it, you insolent fool. You think you can try to deceive me?!”

I’m reduced to wails and gargled pleads as I try to bargain with this clearly unhinged man, “Please I don’t know, I don’t know. P-Percy tell him, please tell him, please”

“We didn’t steal the bolt! We’ve already told you-“

“Then open your pack!”

I looked at Percy in desperate confusion as his face fell. I can practically sense his panic as he slung his bad off his shoulder and unzipped it. Time stopped.

Inside was a two-foot-long metal cylinder, spiked on both ends, humming with energy. I could’ve fallen to my knees right there. I turned back to my mothers begging for them to understand. This was one of the worst realizations I’d ever made. We’d been framed.

'Percy," Annabeth said. "How-"

"I-I don't know. I don't understand." He said, his gaze flickered towards me as a tortured sound ripped from my throat.

"You heroes are always the same," Hades said. "Your pride makes you foolish, thinking you could bring such a weapon before me. I did not ask for Zeus's master bolt, but since it is here, you will yield it to me. I am sure it will make an excellent bargaining tool. And now ... my helm. Where is it?"

I was speechless. Percy was speechless. Annabeth was speechless, and I’m quite sure Grover passed out like 5 minutes ago. We had no helm. The world turned sideways and I didn’t deal well with vertigo.

"Lord Hades, wait," Percy said. "This is all a mistake."

"A mistake?" Hades roared. Quicker than I could process Hades lifted his hand and the image of my parents faded before my eyes.

Oh my gods.

“No- no, no, no, no, no, no, NO,” I gut-wrenching scream pierced through the air as I tried to conjure up the image again uselessly, “NO BRING THEM BACK, GODS, PLEASE BRING THEM BACK HADES PLEASE!” He didn’t even spare me a glance as Annabeth ran over to hold me back from slamming my fist into the stone. My fingernails were reduced to stubs as I clawed at the wall like my mother was going to be standing behind it waiting for me. I was wailing, calling out for my mommies. Usually I would scold myself for such a display of weakness at a time like this but at the moment all sense of self control was out of the question. I was inconsolable as Annabeth tried calming me down, cooing soft assurances in my ear that I couldn’t hear over my own gasping.

The skeletons aimed their weapons. From high above, there was a fluttering of leathery wings, and the three Furies swooped down to perch on

the back of their masters throne.

"There is no mistake," Hades said. "I know why you have come- I know the real reason you brought the bolt. You came to bargain for her."

Hades loosed a ball of gold fire from his palm. It exploded on the steps in front of Percy, and there was who I could only assume was his mother, frozen in a shower of gold.

In my panicked state at the renewed loss of mothers, I had almost forgotten about his.

"Yes," Hades said with satisfaction. "I took her. I knew, Percy Jackson, that you would come to bargain with me eventually. Return my helm, and perhaps I will let her go. She is not dead, you know. Not yet. But if you displease me, that will change."

Someone, or something, was growling. I think It was me. I was so angry. He already took my mothers away, he wasn’t about to take Percy’s.

I went to charge for him when I realized Annie was still holding on to me. I struggled against her hold as she dug her heels into the ground.

"Ah, the pearls," Hades said, and my blood froze. "Yes, my brother and his little tricks. Bring them forth, Percy Jackson."

Percy’s hand moved and brought out the pearls.

"Only four," Hades said. "What a shame. You do realize each only protects a single person. Try to take your mother, then, little godling. And which of your friends will you leave behind to spend eternity with me? Go on. Choose. Or give me the backpack and accept my terms." Percy looked at me and Annabeth and then Grover.

"We were tricked," He said. "Set up.”

“No shit,” I muttered bitterly, tears still tracking down my face.

"Yes, but why?" Annabeth asked, as she side eyed me. "And the voice in the pit-"

"I don't know yet," Percy said. "But I intend to ask."

"Decide, boy!" Hades yelled.

"Percy." Grover put his hand on Percy’s shoulder. "You can't give him the bolt,"

"I know that." He replied, though his stare was focused on me.

"Leave me here," Grover said. "Use the fourth pearl on your mom."

"No!" Percy exclaimed, his eyes darting towards the satyr.

"I'm a satyr," Grover said. "We don't have souls like humans do. He can torture me until I die, but he won't get me forever. I'll just be reincarnated as a flower or something. It's the best way."

"No." Annabeth drew her bronze knife, finally letting go of me and I returned back to the wall trying to see if there was some sort of passageway. "You three go on. Grover, you have to protect Percy and (y/n/n). You have to get your searcher's license and start your quest for Pan. Get his mom out of here. I'll cover you. I plan to go down fighting."

"No way," Grover said. "I'm staying behind."

"Think again, goat boy," Annabeth said.

"Stop it, both of you!" Percy yelled, and the two quieted.

I realized I had been silent through this whole ordeal and knew what I had to do.

“I’ll stay.” I croaked.

“What?!” Percy said, his head turning faster than I could process. “Absolutely not.”

“Percy-“

“No.” He strided over to me so he could look me in the eyes, “I’m not leaving here without you,”

“You don’t get it!” I exclaimed, on the verge of collapse. Gods, I’ve never been so tired. I’ve never done this. I know the stakes. I know how serious this is. But still, at the end of the day, I’m just a little girl who had gone her whole life without parents. Never knowing their faces or voices. Just to meet them and have them taken away within the same hour.

“What don’t I get (Y/N)? Hm?” Percy said frustratedly as he grappled my shoulders. I know he didn’t mean to be harsh but I couldn’t help getting upset.

“I want to stay here, Percy.” I said defeatedly, looking up at him through my lashes. “I ha-have to meet them. I just have to. Please just let me stay here. I need to stay, just let me stay,” I begged him, grasping at his arms to let me go.

He looked at me with a devastating amount of empathy that I couldn’t help breaking down again. He pulled me into a one armed hug as he turned towards Annabeth and Grover,

"I know what to do," Percy said. "Take these."

He handed them each a pearl.

Annabeth said, "But, Percy ..."

I was rambling incoherently into his shoulder, begging him to leave me there. He took my face into his hands and forced me to look him in the eyes,

“Hey-hey! Look at me!” I did, “I know.” And by the gods, I knew that he did. My knees went weak as he pulled me back in and held on to the back of my head as he wrapped an arm around my waist, “I’ll get you back here one day, ang-” he paused, realizing his mistake but continued on, “Even if I have to breakdown the doors of Olympus myself and force them to make it happen, you will see your moms again. Okay?”

I hesitated for a breath before I nodded reluctantly. There’s nothing else I could do.

Percy held me in his arms as he turned his head and faced his mother.

"I'm sorry," he told her. "I'll be back. I'll find a way."

The smug look on Hades's face faded. He said, "Godling ... ?"

"I'll find your helm, Uncle," he told him. Again with this uncle thing. "I'll return it. Remember about

Charon's pay raise."

"Do not defy me-" Hades tried.

"And it wouldn't hurt to play with Cerberus once in a while. He likes red rubber balls."

"Percy Jackson, you will not-"

Percy shouted, "Now, guys!"

He smashed the pearls at our feet. For a scary moment, nothing happened.

Hades yelled, "Destroy them!"

The army of skeletons rushed forward, swords out, guns clicking to full automatic. The Furies lunged, their whips bursting into flame.

Just as the skeletons opened fire, the pearl fragments at our feet exploded with a burst of green light and a gust of fresh sea wind.

We were encased in a milky white sphere, which was starting to float off the ground. My head was still buried in Percy’s shoulder, sobs racked my body as we floated up, Annabeth and Grover were right behind us.

Hades yelled with such rage, the entire fortress shook and I knew it was not going to be a peaceful night in L.A but I couldn’t bring myself to care.

"Look up." Grover yelled. "We're going to crash!"

Sure enough, we were racing right toward the stalactites, which I figured would pop our bubbles and skewer us.

"How do you control these things?" Annabeth shouted.

"I don't think you do!" Percy shouted back.

Is it bad that I kinda wanted to be skewered? Stop.

The trio screamed as the bubbles slammed into the ceiling and ... Darkness.

No, I could still feel the racing sensation. We were going up, right through solid rock as easily as an air bubble in water.

That was the power of the pearls, I realized- What belongs to the sea will always return to the sea.

For a few moments, I couldn't see anything outside the smooth walls of our sphere, then our pearl broke through on the ocean floor.

The two other milky spheres, Annabeth and Grover, kept pace with us as we soared upward through the water.

We exploded on the surface, in the middle of the Santa Monica Bay, knocking a surfer off his board with an indignant, "Dude!" I wanted to hit him.

Percy grabbed Grover and hauled him over to a life buoy. I caught Annabeth and dragged her over too.

A curious shark was circling us, a great white about eleven feet long. Maybe I’d get my soul surfer moment. Stop it.

Percy said, "Beat it." And the shark turned and raced away. New Yorkers.

The surfer screamed something about bad mushrooms and paddled away from us as fast as he could.

Somehow, I knew what time it was: early morning, June 21, the day of the summer solstice.

In the distance, Los Angeles was on fire, plumes of smoke rising from neighborhoods all over the city. There had been an earthquake, all right, and it was Hades's fault. He was probably sending an army of the dead after us right now.

But at the moment, the Underworld wasn't my biggest problem.

Annabeth and Grover shared a glance as they muttered something about getting a headstart to shore. Percy and I were still treading water as he analyzed me.

“What?” I snapped. I can’t say I didn’t mean to but I did feel bad.

“I’m sorry.” He said and my face softened. “It’s not your fault, nothing you could do.” I tried to give him a reassuring smile but I’m sure it looked more like a grimace.

He was starting to gain a real habit of hugging me as he pulled me into his chest. I couldn't tell the difference between the saltwater and saline on my face anymore.

He didn’t say anything, just sort of awkwardly petted my hair. He pulled away to look me in the eyes and some sort of understanding passed between us.

I gave him a nod and gestured for him to catch up with the others. He looked hesitant for a second but ultimately nodded and swam to the duo who were treading just a little ways away.

I looked down at the water as if I’d be able to see the underworld below my feet. I gave a kiss to my fingers and swirled them in the water in the shape of a flower, “I’m sorry Mamma, Ma. I’ll come back for you.”

I start to slowly make my way towards the others thinking over everything that just went down. I realized with a sharp ache in my chest, that I felt more despair than I did hatred when thinking of Hades. I wanted to despise him. To think that he was evil and want to plot some sort of revenge. But I couldn’t. Somehow that was worse.

He was uncaring in his dealings with us. I knew his intentions with the words he spoke to me, burning a hole through my chest till I was left spiraling searching for some sort of reprieve. And yet compassion still had a hold on me. I felt sorry for him but oh my gods, was he ruthless.

✧ dividers by @hitobaby !

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wellplacedbanana · 6 months

Text

I’ve seen a few posts recently talking about how important it is for us to share our tips for dealing chronic illness with each other, and I’ve realized that as a freakishly avid community enthusiast, I’ve been falling down on the job. So, I present

Wellplacedbanana’s Ridiculously Long List of Tips for All Things Chronic Illness (Curated Over 8+ Years):

Infusion Centers

Headed to an infusion center to get that sweet sweet (expensive as hell) live-saving medication pumped directly into your veins? Here’s what I do.

Bring headphones or earplugs. Most infusion centers try to maintain a semblance of quiet for the patients, but it can get loud fast—beeping IVs, pulse ox monitors, loud families, codes. Some infusion centers do pods of multiple people and some do individual bays, so this can affect noise levels.

Drink lots of water before if you have to get an IV placed. Don’t worry too much about bringing a water bottle because they’ll give you one when you get there. (Of course, if you have something like POTS and need more intense hydration, bring the damn water bottle.) If you’re not hydrated and they can’t find a vein, they’ll call in the ultrasound tech, and they’ll bring the longest IV needle you’ve ever seen. It hurts. Drink water.

Bring a book or your Switch or something else to entertain you, but don’t expect to actually do it. I tried bringing papers to edit the first time because I was like “Oh it’s an hour and a half of uninterrupted free time. I can get so much done!” I was wrong. The nurses are constantly checking in for vitals, the unit can be loud, and I spent the whole time trying not to vomit everywhere. Different infusions will have different side affects. Knowing what yours might be will help you plan for what you want to bring. Knowing how long your infusion will be can also help. Most infusion centers have to keep you 20-45 minutes after your first dose of a new medication to make sure you don’t have an allergic reaction, so factor that into your time too.

If you’re in a pod with other patients who’re friendly and if you feel up to it, don’t be afraid to talk with them. Lots of them are lonely, bored, interested in other people, etc. I met an elderly Thai lady one time who had been there for three hours and would be there for another four AFTER I left. We talked about her husband and her kids, and she listened to me talk about punctuation as style in prose. It made me feel less alone in the medical system and helped distract me from the nausea.

Conversely, if you don’t want to interact with anyone, snap on those headphones and block everything out. The nurses will get your attention if they need you. Don’t worry about staying lucid. Your job is to get the infusion and do what’s best for you.

You can bring snacks if you want, but most units/centers will have something to munch on or can order you something from the cafeteria if you’re at a hospital. Also the medication and the smells in the unit always make me nauseous, so it’s kind of a waste for me to bother pulling together food before I leave. You can always eat before or plan to get something on the way back. Going through a drive thru to get something with protein is my go to.

If possible, schedule your next appointment while you’re there. I have to go every three months, so I schedule the next one while I’m there, and then I never have to make any fucking phone calls. Phone calls are the worst.

My last and most important tip: ask the nurses when you need something. Blankets, water, snacks, pain meds, the lights turned off. If they can’t do it, they’ll tell you. They’d rather have you ask and have to say no, then you be uncomfortable. Don’t suffer if there might be a solution.

Dealing with Shitty Doctors

There are shitty doctors everywhere, in every specialty and every hospital system. It sucks, and you can do your best to avoid them, but most chronically ill patients will have to put up with one at some point. Here are my suggestions:

If they’re refusing to acknowledge one of your symptoms is a problem (won’t order tests, won’t refer you out, won’t ask any questions), tell them it’s affect your Activities of Daily Living. ADLs are one of the ways doctors measure severity of symptoms and quality of life. ADLs are the absolutely essential things you need to do to be a functioning human: eat, shower, get dressed, brush your teeth. ADLs are a trigger word for most doctors. Physical therapists and occupational therapists were created specifically to help patients achieve their ADLs. If you’re having severe joint paint, say it’s affecting you’re ability to shower and dress in the morning. If you have intense fatigue, say you’re too tired all the time to cook food to eat or even brush your teeth before bed. Tell them your symptoms are affecting your quality of life and your ability to function daily. This won’t always work, but it’s a good starting place. (A side note: if you have have to submit an insurance appeal for something that was denied, citing ADLs as a reason to receive the treatment/medical equipment/doctors visit, will often spur them into action. Sometimes, it’ll just make them ask more questions, but questions are better than flat out denial. This was a very helpful tactic when I was trying to get my manual wheelchair approved. I told them I was unable to complete my ADLs and it was affecting my quality of life, and they eventually came around. It’s also important to remember that ADLs are only the most base tasks that you need to live. Driving, working, socializing—those aren’t included in ADLs, and insurance especially will laugh in your face if you try to say you need medical equipment for something like that.)

Lots of doctors, consciously or unconsciously, will judge how you’re actually feeling by your mood in an appointment. I had a pediatric neurologist who couldn’t be convinced that my pain was at an 8 because I would laugh with my mom in the waiting room. Eight months in, I started getting real quiet, not talking, crying when he talked, all that shit, and he was so fucking flummoxed. He was like “what changed?? Are you depressed??” And I had to remind him that I was thirteen with a severe shoulder inure that hurt every time I breathed. Doctors will judge you based on how you look and how you present. It’s horrible, but it’s true. Present to them in the way that represents what they’d expect to see for your symptoms.

Whatever you do, don’t say anything (or send any snappy messages) that might be considered aggressive until you are absolutely, 100% positive you will never ever have to see them again. I’ve had a few doctors that said ridiculously horrible things to me. It’s tempting to send them a message about how shitty they’ve been or how much they’ve hurt you, but it won’t help. Shitty doctors have fragile egos and they don’t like to be challenged. They won’t take this well, and they’ll mark you as attention seeking, emotional, mentally unstable—you name it. When your other doctors call to ask questions about symptoms, etc, they’ll start talking shit, and everything gets complicated. This might sound dramatic to anyone who hasn’t seen it happen, but honestly, the medical system abuses emotion and mental illness to discard patients that aren’t afraid to advocate for themselves, and this is one of the least immoral ways they do it.

Remember that you don’t owe your doctors anything (except basic human decency). If they ask you to do something and you can’t or don’t want to, don’t. My psychiatrist was really fixated on me getting a light box to cure my depression. I did Not want to do that, so I didn’t. Sometimes, your doctors won’t move on to further treatment or tests until you try it, but most of the time you can say, “that’s not something I’m able to do right now. Let’s explore further options,” and they’ll move on.

Remember that learning to advocate for yourself takes years of practice. Just do your best, and try not to blame yourself for the ways you get mistreated. Therapy is the best investment I’ve ever made for this. It’s helped me learn how to advocate and how to process medical trauma.

Medication

For gods sake, take the as needed medication when you have a migraine or if you’re nauseous. Don’t punish yourself.

This might seem like a no brainer, but if you’re traveling and you’re going to take your medication bottles with you, put them in a ziplock bag. They will definitely open in your suitcase, and you’ll have to pick Levothyroxine out of your socks.

If a medication gives you icky side effects, tell your doctor and ask if there’s something that doesn’t do that. For me personally, it’s hard to find medication that works at all, so I often get stuck with things that make me feel like shit. But it doesn’t hurt to ask. Sometimes new medications come out or they dig up old ones.

Some medications come in dissolvable tablets or suppositories. They’re not fun, but if you have trouble swallowing pills, this is a good way to go. Again, communicate with your doctor about these things. I know that there are Scopolamine patches for nausea too. I’ve never used them before, but it might be worth looking into if need easy nausea relief.

All Things Wheelchair

Man, wheelchairs suck, but they’re also amazing. If you find yourself using one, you’ll encounter a steep learning curve.

If you’re not super buff when you first start, it’ll seem impossible to go up even a slight incline. Your arms will get stronger the more you move around, but it might take time. I eventually bit the bullet and started doing personal training. I’m lucky that I can afford it, and I know it’s not an option for everyone, but if you can, find a trainer who won’t saying anything shitty and who’s willing to accommodate. I worked with a queer-owned gym to find someone I was comfortable with. We do upper body strength training, and it gives me a chance to move my body more often. I still can’t go up big hills, but I feel infinitely more mobile. Give yourself time to adjust to the new strain on your body, even if you don’t do training for it. You’ll be sore in the beginning. Ice and heat will be your friends after long days. If your wrists start hurting a lot, you’re not wheeling correctly, and you should ask your doctor for a referral to PT or OT. Oh and your hands will be fucked for the first few weeks. I bought special wheelchair gloves to try to combat this, but it just made it harder for me to maneuver. Now I only use the gloves if it’s cold, if I’m going down hills, or in the rain/snow. (But seriously, if you’re going down steep hills, use traction gloves.)

Learn to pop a wheelie as soon as possible. It’s such a helpful skill. If you get good enough, you’ll be able to get up over single steps and traverse shitty pavement.

If your wheelchair has a cushion, then it has a cushion cover. Wash it.

Time for the grossest part: cutting hair out of your caster wheels. I hate this. I hate it so much. It’s fucking disgusting, but you have to do it. It’ll fuck up your wheels and make it harder to maneuver. Also it’s just gross to have all that nasty hair hanging out by your feet. Get yourself a long pair of thin scissors and cut all that hair out every week or every two weeks. If you don’t have long hair or live with people who have long hair, then you might be able to wait longer. You should also sanitize your hand rims while you’re at it. Hand sanitizer or Clorox wipes are great for this.

You’ll notice that it’s fucking impossible to carry shopping baskets or suitcases if you use a manual chair. Some people try to balance them on their laps or wedge them onto their footplates, but it’s pretty precarious. I got these weird peg things that attach to the frame. You can place a basket or your bag on it and still keep your hands free. Here’s the link for the ones I got, but it depends on your make and model, so do some research and call some different companies before buying anything. Also, make sure to measure the distance between the two sides of your frame to make sure a basket will be able to balance on the two pegs. Your frame might be too wide for this. Mine is, but I bought a special basket to take to the store that’s wide enough to reach across.

Lots of people will offer to push you. Some won’t even offer; they’ll just grab on and take you in whatever direction. It’s insanely invasive and dehumanizing. Don’t be afraid to put on your breaks if someone does this. I can stand and take small steps, so sometime I just get up and stare at them. You can also buy covers for your handles that have spikes so people can’t grab them. I know some wheelchair users who like it when people offer to push them. That’s good too! Take the help if you want it. Just remember to prioritize your safety and comfort. I had a big debate with another disabled person about whether it was infantilizing for someone to offer to hold open the door for us. I’m firmly on the side that they can offer, and I can say no, and they can listen, and then we can both appreciate the moment of shared humanity between us. They did not agree. Disabled people fight and disagree all the time because we’re not all carbon copies of each other. That’s okay! Just be respectful.

Getting a customized manual wheelchair was one of the single most stressful things I had to deal with. Insurance doesn’t like to pay for them because it’s about 3-12k, depending on the specifications and add-ons. But it’s also been the most liberating thing I’ve done since getting my mobility stripped from me. I’m not sure how it works for everyone, but I got a referral from my doctor to a custom wheelchair company. From there, they took measurements, discussed needs, and showed me different models. It’s going to be really really difficult to know what you want the first time. There’s a lot of different brands and customizations, so do your research and talk in depth with whoever’s making your chair. Ultra lite rigid frames are my favorite because they’re usually only 15-40 pounds, and the wheels can come off to make it even lighter. However, rigid frames don’t fold together in the middle like classic manual wheelchairs that you might find at a hospital or get at a rental company. They can be difficult to fit in the backseat of a car or in some trunks, so make sure to measure any cars you ride in regularly. Some people prefer to have tilted wheels so they can turn easier. Some people don’t want anything to do with that. Depending on your mobility and the people in your life, you might choose not to add push handles to your chair. I added some to mine because I often get dizzy, and it’s helpful to have handles in case I need someone to push me out of the crosswalk or into the shade. People who are highly independent and extremely strong might not want push handles because they won’t need help up steep hills. I like my handles a lot; however, my chair back is shorter than a standard wheelchair because it helps increase range of motion when I’m wheeling, so my push handles are lower than normal, and anyone who wants to push me has to hunch a bit to reach. Again, do your research and talk to your rep before making final decisions. Some companies will let you test out the chairs they have on hand to see what you like. It’s important to work with a wheelchair company you really like because you’re literally putting you life in their hands. I’ve had better luck with smaller, locally-owned companies, but you can’t always get referrals there, and not every town has them. Here’s my tip to you: Numotion sucks ass. Avoid them. My branch of Numotion seems to be an outlier; I’ve had really good experiences with them. But most of the time, its impossible to get ahold of anyone, their hours are few and random, and their customer service reps are rude. But! After you’ve completed your order form—gotten measurements and found customizations—they’ll submit it to insurance. This is the tricky part. I went through four appeals, before I got mine approved. Luckily, I had insurance through my mom’s job, and after the last appeal, her company told the insurance that they had to pay for it. This won’t be the case with everyone. Be diligent with your appeals. Have your doctors write specific, clear letters about why you need it, including information about all the customizations and add-ons. It’s likely that they’ll only pay for the base chair, and you’ll have to pay out of pocket for any extra things. Another note: most insurance companies will only pay for a new chair once every five years (if they approve the first one at all), so be sure that the chair you pick out will work for you for at least the next five and a half years.

I had an advisor in college tell me something devastating once: there is no AAA for wheelchairs. I’d broken a caster wheel and gotten stuck on a university sidewalk in 102 degree heat, and she was telling me about her own experiences getting stranded after one of her tires popped. She’s right; if you’re wheelchair breaks, you’re stuck wherever you are without any backup. Carry your phone with you. Tell your friends or family where you’re going before you leave. Familiarize yourself with the wheelchair repairs shops in your area. Sometimes places like bike shops will be able to help you fix smaller things. I always carry an Allen wrench with me in case I need to take a part off. And don’t worry; you’ll find that if something does go wrong, people are far more willing to help than you’d expect. One of the sculpture professors in the art department found me that day and went back to his workshop to get all his tools. He brought me water and sat in the sun while he tried to fix my wheel, and when he couldn’t, he offered to drive me wherever I needed to go. This man was a tenured professor with a prestigious MFA, and he was running late for a party where he was supposed to be handing out awards. You’ll find lots of good people when things inevitably go to shit.

Going along with the last point, your wheelchair will break, and you will have to send it into the shop to get repairs. If you can, invest in a cheap manual chair that you can use in emergencies. If you live with other people, you can buy a transport chair for cheaper, but you’ll need someone around to push you because it won’t have hand rims.

If you’re new to wheelchair use, give yourself space to feel all the emotions. When I first started, I had been using an office chair(!) to get around. My mom would push me from my bed to the bathroom and then back to bed while we waited to get a rental. I was so relieved when I got my own chair that I pushed everything else down. It took months to allow myself to be sad about all the things I couldn’t do anymore and be angry about all the inaccessible infrastructure that America has. Don’t push it down. Talk to a therapist or find people in the community to discuss it with. (If I choose to talk about my frustrations with friends, I always start with “I need to vent right now, and I’m grateful you’re willing to listen to me, but I’m not looking for any solutions to this at the moment,” or “can you give me some suggestions to work around these things that are frustrating me?” This gives my friends insight into what I need, instead of making them guess. It keeps us both from getting frustrated, and I highly suggest it, especially if you or your friends have trouble navigating social situations/expectations.)

Hand Controls

Hand controls are great option for your car if you’re unable to use your feet to drive. I got mine about a year back, but it was tricky and really confusing at first.

First thing you need to know: you can’t get hand controls without a prescription from a specialist. Usually a certain type of occupational therapist. You can look up driving rehab OTs in your area, but there aren’t many of them, and lots of the time you’ll have to drive several hours to see one. There’s usually a long wait list as well. (And of course, a lot of them don’t take insurance.)

If you’re able to find someone who’s certified, they’ll do an intake appointment and assess your physical abilities and needs. Sometimes, they’ll do the assessment and decide you aren’t fit to use hand controls. This can be for a multitude of reasons, including impaired mental cognition and slow reaction time, issues with hand or arm mobility, or there might be a better way to adapt a car for you. Again, it varies greatly on the person, and I’m not an OT, so I don’t know all the ins and outs. If you pass the assessment, and they view you got to drive with hand controls, you’ll be required to do a certain amount of training where you practice using different equipment. Some OTs will know what you need to use right away, and others will have you try different things out to see what fits best. There’s a lot of types of hand controls and a lot of adaptations that can be done to a car, so it really depends on the person. My training was only about 15 hours (plus independent driving practice), but it’ll depend on whether this is your first time ever driving, if you’ve driven without hand controls before, and if you have any other medical issues that might make it hard for you to adapt. Once you’ve completed the training and received your certificate from the OT, they’ll write a prescription to send to a shop that does specialty car adaptation. Kind of like wheelchairs, the shop you go to is very important. Ask your OT if they have any favorites in the area. Insurance never covers this, and some shops will way overcharge you if you’re not careful. My hand controls were about 3k out of pocket, but it was definitely worth it. It would’ve been a lot more to add other adaptations like a lift or a ramp, but sometimes you can buy used accessible vans for cheaper than adding it to your own car. Something to know: you’re usually able to turn your hand controls on and off. So if your friend needs to borrow your car, or you need to let a mechanic test drive it, you can disable to hand controls and allow someone else to use the foot pedals as normal.

Overall, it’s a very long, very expensive process, so plan ahead and be prepared to wait and pay.

Navigating Raising a Kid with Chronic Illnesses

I don’t have any kids, but my mom was my sole caretaker growing up, and I can offer you some of her thoughts. You have to remember that no matter what age your kid is, chronic illness is an impossible thing for them to deal with, and yet they have to deal with it anyways. Sometimes, there’s no good way to comfort a child who’s in 10/10 pain, or who’s about to undergo a life-altering procedure. All you can do is your best. Communicate. Offer support. Give affection. Make your love unconditional. I was a very angry teenager. I was angry with my mom that she couldn’t fix it, and I was angry with my doctors for the way they treated me. There were days where I would yell and sob and refuse to take my meds, and there where days where I would stare at the wall and not respond to anything. It drove my mom up the wall. She’s used to fixing things, and this was one of those things she couldn’t even help. I know she stills holds a lot of guilt for this, but she shouldn’t. She did her best. You’re doing your best too. You can’t fix everything. That being said, here are her suggestions:

Therapy, therapy, therapy. They might hate it, but some day, they’ll thank you. Remember that not every therapist is right for every patient. If your kid wants to switch to a different therapist, let them. It’s better than them sitting and not speaking the whole session.

Lots of kids with developing rare undiagnosed diseases will go through this vicious cycle where they get a new symptom, get sent to a specialist, get dismissed, and then develop a new symptom and start the process all over again. It’s not easy. My mom was a fan of throwing Pity Parties. Every once in a while, when the grind of it all started making us feel hopeless, she’d take me to the store and say, “pick out snacks and drinks. We’re going to throw a pity party, gorge on sugar, watch Lord of the Rings, feel bad for ourselves, and tomorrow, we’ll dust ourselves off and try again.” It helped. It was good to know that sometimes you can let life feel unfair, and it was even better to know that the next day it would be easier to try again.

A lot of being chronically ill as a kid is getting decisions stripped from you and having unexpected negative experiences. My mom would try to do spontaneous things every once in a while to remind me that not all surprises are bad. Instead of driving straight home after school one Friday, she took me to Starbucks without saying anything. After an MRI, she stopped at an art fair and let me pick out a necklace. We would go to the library after I spent the day in the hospital. Sometimes, she’d call my aunts while I was at school to come over and play card games on the weekends. And she was really big on giving me choices in everything. She never made me agree to new (non-lifesaving) treatment. Ever. If she really wanted me to do it, we’d talk it over and come to an agreement that made us both happy. Sick kids are forced into adulthood early; they know how to make calculated, logical decisions when needed. Let them be a part of their own healthcare. (They should also be given the chance to make rash, stupid decisions that have no bearing on their health.)

Keep track of everything. Doctors, meds, ER visits, PT exercises, diets they’ve tried for GI issues, everything about the surgeries they’ve undergone. Some day, you’ll need it. Or your kid will grow up into a chronically ill adult, and they’ll need it.

Talk to their school counselor about getting a 504 or IEP. Even if they’re not struggling. I was a super academically minded kid; I didn’t struggle to understand new concepts or complete homework correctly. But eventually it became hard for me to attend class and finish assignments. Having an IEP saved me. 504s are a lot easier to get (a lot less paperwork, less testing, less pushback from admin), but they’re not legally binding. If you want something concrete and all-encompassing, go for the IEP. IEPs are also really helpful when trying to get accommodations in college. You can also start with a 504 and switch to an IEP later. While we’re on the subject of school: remember that education is important, but school is not the end all be all of your child’s life. What should matter the most to you is that they end up safe and happy. I didn’t graduate high school; I took a proficiency test my junior year and dropped out. It was the best choice I could’ve made at the time, but it was still tough for my mom. I ended up going to college, and now I have a pretty solid job, but every kid will be different. Their mental and physical health is the most important. School is a huge huge huge stressor. Don’t make it harder for them than it already is.

Dating

God dating sucks enough on its own, but adding in chronic illness and disability just makes it a shit show. I don’t have a lot to offer on this other than you shouldn’t settle for anyone who doesn’t respect you, treat you with love and compassion, and accept every part of you for what it is. People will say rude shit. They’ll be nasty, fetishizing, infantilizing, dismissive. Some won’t be able to put up with all the things that come along with being ill. I sound like a broken record, but find a good therapist who can help you voice your needs and expectations clearly. Remember that you never have to go on a date if you don’t want to. Participate as you see fit. Throw it all out if you want.

I don’t have enough time to go into my tips for intimacy/sex and disability, but I’ll give you the highlights.

Communicate. Make it very clear what you’re able to do, what you’re interested in doing, and what you don’t want.

There are lots of ways to have sex. If you’re both having fun, being safe, and engaging consensually, then you’re doing it right. Don’t let abled bodied people tell you the way it should be done. There are lots of accessibility friendly toys to invest in, too.

As weird as it might sound, don’t be afraid to take breaks. Keep water near by. If you have POTS, keep salt or electrolyte tablets on hand. If you have to stop to vomit or go to the bathroom, don’t let it shame you. Go at your own pace and take care of your body.

Misc

Having seizures on a college campus: Most universities have a policy that if you lose consciousness while on campus, they have to call an ambulance. You are not required to ride in the ambulance. You can decline, and the paramedics will make you sign a form before leaving. If you’re still actively having seizures, then they’ll take you anyways, but you probably won’t be in any shape to try to decline. If you’re having seizures regularly, tell your professors. It’ll freak them the fuck out, so warn them ahead of time. It makes the whole thing a lot less awkward when you collapse in the aisle during a lecture. Related to that: communicate with your professors about all your accommodations and emergency health needs. They really honestly appreciate it when you talk to them about this stuff. Even if they have a big class and don’t remember you, it’s good to send them an email and introduce yourself. Hopefully, you’ve also talked to your college’s Disability Resource Center. If not, go do that. Now. (There’s a whole lot of shit that I have to say about campus accessibility and disability resource centers, but I’m not gonna go into it right now.) Also, wear your medical alert bracelet. I know they suck, but it sucks more for someone to be digging through your pants pocket while you’re seizing to try to find your wallet. And keep your emergency contact info pinned up somewhere in your dorm. I used to put mine on the fridge and point it out to my roommates at the beginning of term. It can take a while for RAs to pull yours up, so it’s best to make sure it’s easily accessible.

Remember that you do not function like a normal person. There is no wrong way to solve one of your problems. If you need to put a stool in your bathroom to sit at while you brush your teeth, do it. I got an extra tall stool to sit at while I cook at the stove because my wheelchair is too short. (Cooking in a wheelchair is another thing I could talk about forever.) If you need to wear a sleep mask on the bus because the light makes your migraine worse, do it. People can look at you funny all they want. Like I said, I rolled around my house in an office chair while I waited for a rental wheelchair. What I’m trying to say is find things that work and implement them, even if they’re non traditional.

Here’s what I pack in my bag for an ER visit: headphones, phone charger, book, zofran, Naproxen, water bottle, wallet with cash, socks, and sleep mask to block out the waiting room lights. If I’m expecting to be admitted, then I’ll pack more, but I try to keep it light if it’s just triage and a visit with the ER doctor. Sometimes I’ll stuff a granola bar or some almonds in there too.

My biggest tip for surviving hospital stays is to get out of your room (if possible). Go on walks around the unit. Some hospitals have little courtyards patients can sit in. If you’re in peds, go visit the rec room, even if it’s awkward. Their activities are usually meant for the younger kids, but it can be fun to connect with other people your age, and you’ll thank yourself later when you’re stuck in bed at 3am. Also, tell your friends to come visit you. Not everyone will be able to, but most people are happy to come hang out for an hour or two. It’ll help; I promise.

Clean your room every few weeks. Dear god, clean your room. I have trouble with executive functioning and finding energy to do housekeeping type stuff, but I get more depressed when my room is gross. So clean your room. Especially if you have hypersomnia/sleep excessively.

Don’t force yourself to use a pill organizer. I know everyone says it makes it easier, but I get overwhelmed when I have to refill it, and then I just don’t end up taking my meds. If it doesn’t work for you, don’t do it. If it does, then do it!

Don’t buy the self help books your therapist recommends unless you’re actually interested in reading them. It’ll just sit on your shelf and make you feel guilty for not being good enough.

Mental illness is tightly bound to physical illness. Try to be an active listener in your body. Sometimes, when I’ve been feeling really nauseous, my PSTD symptoms will get triggered over nothing, and it’ll frustrate the fuck out of me because it seems like it’s happening over nothing. I try to track when my emotional state is worse to see if it’s correlated to my physical symptoms. This helps curb the frustration and guilt. Sometimes it makes me dissociate more. It’s a balancing act. Just do your best.

Hobbies are so so so important. Make sure to give yourself time to work on them! And there are a million ways to adapt the activities you love if you’re having trouble, so don’t afraid to do some research. I know they have crochet hook grips for people with arthritis or loose grips, and there are super intense magnifying glasses for people who like to cross stitch and are having trouble seeing the tiny ass holes. I have a color blind friend who sends us pictures of paint to see if it’s the shade he wants. Very occasionally, you’ll come to the conclusion that there’s a hobby you can’t adapt. Let yourself be sad. I can’t hike anymore and it sucks. I can’t go tide-pooling either, and its not like if I just work really hard I’ll be able to do it some day. Life is shit, and sometimes you have to let things go. Be angry, be sad, tell people to fuck off if they try to turn you into inspiration porn, but also remember that there are lots of other cool things out there to try.

Going along with the hobby thing: take the time to learn ASL if you’re having trouble with your hearing or if you often go nonverbal. One of my friends had to get hearing aids last year, and we offered to learn with them, but they were hesitant because it feels like a non necessity to them. Something selfish that would take up all our time. If you think it’ll help, you should grant yourself the time to learn. Capitalism makes us think that we shouldn’t engage in activities unless we gain money or power from them, but that mindset will kill you. Your life will be infinitely easier if you learn ASL online with your partner or friends or siblings.

Look up Spoon Theory. It’s not a helpful metaphor for everyone, but most people in the community talk about it, so it’s good to be familiar with it.

Don’t be afraid to go out and find community! Find support groups, look up wheelchair sports if you’re into getting sweaty, brave the awkwardness of starting conversations with other patients in the clinic. I’m wholly and completely of the idea that humans are innately good. There are lots of interesting chronically ill/disabled people who’re looking for connection. Insurance companies and other medical entities rely on us feeling isolated, alone, and uniformed to continue making money and hold power. It’s important that we share with and support each other.

I know a lot of this is basic stuff, but it’s helpful to have reminders, and if you’re new to the whole song and dance, then it’s nice to get a sneak peak. There are a million things I didn’t get to, but this was what was on the top of my brain.

Also, I’m not the collective voice of every chronically ill person in the world. My experiences are not yours and they’re not everyone else’s. What works for me, might not work for you. Be kind.

#thanks to @thenarrativefoil for reminding me that we need to share with each other!!#if you have any suggestions for dealing with gastroparesis please hmu #I’m still waiting for my gastric emptying scan but I’d like to try out some of y’all’s tips #hopefully some of this is helpful to someone #chronic illness #chronic pain #disability #seizures #nausea #wheelchair user #ptsd #mental health #hand controls #medical insurance companies suck #therapy #so much talk of therapy #spoonie #if this is helpful to anyone I’ll make another

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doyouknowthischaracter · 4 months

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RANDOM ASKS GRAB BAG

Putting a bunch of answered asks in one post so I don't spam your dashes too much. Under the cut because it's a very long post. If your ask isn't here, don't worry! The ask box is far from empty, and I'm sorta trying to group them by topic. Enjoy?

Anonymous asked: you mentioned in another ask that there were a few things you were probably going to check out from doing these polls and I was just curious which ones those are, if you don't mind sharing fjdjsj

I don't mind sharing! I had to go through the archive to remember which ones I wanted to check out, but a few of them would be The Walten Files, Red vs. Blue, The Murderbot Diaries, I Am In Eskew, and The Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbidity, and Mortality. Many of the characters posted here look interesting, but I'm such a slow watcher/player/reader/etc. that it'd take me decades to go through everything lol

Anonymous asked: Have you considered doing like uhhh idk how to explain properly, but statistics/data from loads of polls in a summary every so often? I've seen some poll blogs do a most known/least known type bar graph every so often. And I would be super interested in seeing this sort of thing for this blog!! It's fair enough if not though, obviously this would create a lot of extra work for you. Anyway, thanks for running this blog :-) Anonymous asked: I just asked a question about seeing the data statistics/ bar graphs - please ignore it! Just reread your pinned and realised I'd missed that bit :'). BUT, last point remains, thank you for running this blog and putting up with repetitive anons I bet aksjskdjsk

I haven't put the data in a graph yet, but if I figure out how to organize that in a way that's both comprehensible and actually tells us something new, I'll give it a try for sure. Until then, we do have the spreadsheet. And no worries, I'm glad you're enjoying the blog! :)

Anonymous asked: *sees a poll blog* "I must answer each and every poll I can"

Godspeed on your journey and remember to stay hydrated! 🫡

Anonymous asked: this is my favorite blog! Every morning I wake up and check the polls like they're the paper, just to say "I don't know them" Truely a humbling experience!

Happy to be your neighborhood paperboy!

@iceice-baeby asked: Are olyou fearing the day someone submits Solid Snake from MGS and you will choose the wrong picture Because everyone always seems to choose the wrong picture

The only difficulty will be in not using this one:

Anonymous asked: Just scrolled back through your blog up to posts from Dec 3rd and I know why those polls are closed now but I cannot describe the genuine anguish I felt seeing Mr Orange and going NO I KNOW HIM - I KNOW HIM!!!! Anyway I found this blog like ten minutes ago and I love it

Don't worry, he's A-OK! 👍

(Also, thanks! I appreciate your dedication.)

Anonymous asked: scrolling through to catch up on the characters and knowing a whole three of them was so bizarre. im not supposed to press the yes i know them button, im supposed to do my sworn duty and vote no with unending confusion. the world has been flipped on its head 😵‍💫

I bet the next 30 were characters you've never heard of, just for balance to be restored.

Anonymous asked: Whenever i misclick I feel sooooo bad like im sorry my dear friend for not recognizing you I apologize for my rudeness

No polls so far ended with only one vote difference between answers, so you don't have to feel too bad. For now. 👀

Anonymous asked: this is fun cause i’ve definitely submitted some characters but i’ve immediately forgotten who. so i’ll also be pleasantly surprised to see my beloveds on the blog.

A gift from you to you, courtesy of unreliable memory! Sweet!

Anonymous asked: Devastating. I keep missing the voting for the only characters I know.

You'll do it one day, I believe in you!!

@iceice-baeby asked: Would you consider writing in the tags if YOU know a character or not You have done it sometimes before, but I'd be curious if you do recognise some of those random niche as all hell blorbos Also I can't wait for my Blorbos turn. Because either He-and-she is gonna take most obscure place, OR I will actually find maybe more than two people, myself included, who know him-and-her and who I can ramble at for hours until they block me

Oh yeah, for sure. I didn't think anyone would be interested to know, but I can do that when I remember to!

Did your blorbo show up already?

Anonymous asked: I have been having the opposite problem of everyone else, apparently. I'll see a name and be like, "I don't know who that is". But then I see the picture and realize… Yes I do!

That's why I take the time to include fitting pictures, helps jog the memory!

Anonymous asked: I feel very superior every time I know a character most people don't

Hey, nobody likes a show-off. (<- Joking)

Anonymous asked: Wait, has Beetlejuice not been submitted?? I could've sworn I submitted the musical version! Anonymous asked: Oh wait no I didn't submit musical Beetlejuice to you, got you mixed up with @/every-character-ever-poll lol my bad

Indeed he hasn't been submitted yet, maybe next time!

@thetisming asked: sorry for saying something negative in the replies to a post someone was being a dick about jukebox musicals

No worries, but don't let it get to you. People are allowed to dislike your favorite things even without any good reason. It's a matter of taste, which is highly subjective. It's more constructive to focus your attention on people who do enjoy the same things as you!

@autism-criminal asked: What is your favorite color of the rainbow (red orange yellow green blue indigo purple) ?

Orange! 🍊 What's yours? :)

Anonymous asked: "data is not accurate" bro if ur going to a tumblr poll blog for accurate data you NEED to reassess some things asdfghjkl; anyway this blog is great thank you for running it it's a lot of fun and has resulted in some very funny interactions between me and my fiance. notably "what the fuck do you MEAN 6% of the sans undertale website doesn't know who sans undertale is" and "i'm sorry i simply don't believe that ANYONE doesn't know who DRACULA is"

Different people come here with different expectations, I suppose. Which is fine, I don't mind, but they're bound to be disappointed if they expect 100% accuracy all the time. But anyway! I'm happy to hear I can provide a new form of enrichment for you and your fiancé!

@sweetpollyolliver asked: So many manga and anime characters and I know like 1% of them 😭

I'm ngl, I'm not a big manga/anime connoisseur either, so I'm just as lost as you most of the time lol 🤝 (<- shaking hands in solidarity)

@cringelordofchaos asked: If I go insane one day I am going to try to make an English translation for Mesec Boje Purpura so everyone can know who veštica Noks is

I'm fully behind you! Keep us updated if you do.

Anonymous asked: I scroll through your blog. I don’t recognise any of these characters. ‘No,’ I click, ‘no,’ ‘no,’ ‘no.’ I am content in the darkness of the rock I live under. But, alas, all things must end. I continue my scroll, the glee of the irrelevant rampant in my veins. But what’s this? It can’t be… My shelter is cruelly ripped away and the brutal light of knowledge seeks me out like a bloodhound, it gives me no place to hide. ‘Yes,’ I sob, defeated, ‘Yes, I do know the jjba character.’

A modern-day Greek tragedy, truly 💔

Anonymous asked: was really surprised to vote and see that a character was 100% know them. then I noticed I got there early enough to be the only vote

For one shining, brilliant moment they were 100% known and surely that counts for something.

Anonymous asked: You should make up a character and make a poll for them and see how many people lie or misclick

Well....... I'm not going to comment on that. 🐰

Anonymous asked: I follow this blog and another blog that does smash or pass and occassionally I will come to one of your posts and examine the images to decide and then remember this blog's gimmick before trying to hit smash

Imagine voting smash there and then coming here to vote "I don't know them at all" on the same character. Brutal.

@ink7blot asked: *sees big naturals* I hate that. *reblogs*

A job well done, then 😌

#dyktc chatter #asks #not a poll #anonymous #iceice-baeby #thetisming #autism-criminal #sweetpollyolliver #cringelordofchaos #ink7blot #phew that was a lot

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thr-333 · 1 year

Text

I’ve had most of this in my drafts for at least since the first few comics of mystic tots. The only reason I didn’t post it was because I didn’t now how to continue the scene with Raph. Well now I’ve gotten my ass in gear and finished it off. So have an excerpt from this au that is a full arc late.

Lou was starting to understand why his ancestors had been so ready to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. He would too if that meant an eternity of rest. Although with his luck the shredder would turn out to be real and it would be more like an eternity of violence and endless suffering.

He should have never become an actor. He should have found a farm in the middle of nowhere somewhere and sat in a rocking chair until he was old and grey. Now he was young, grey and no rocking chair in sight.

“Dada up,” little hands slapped at his face pulling on his ears.

“No Dada sleep,” Lou tried to roll over, hands fisting in his hair coming along for the ride, “Orange night night,”

“Dada up,” His youngest insisted a hot patch growing on his scalp.

“Alright! Dada up! Dada up!” Lou bolted upright his fire hellion giggling delightfully, “I happen to like my hair, as greasy and disgusting as it is,”

Orange giggled letting go of his hair and falling a touch too slowly to be natural gravity… hm probably not a good sign but that's a tomorrow him problem.

“I thought I left you in your cot?” Lou scooped up his youngest blowing raspberries on his shell, chasing away the last embers of heat, “Did Blue break you out again? Did he? Did he?”

“Bu! Bu!” Orange kicked his legs smiling widely, that was also a plus. Probably wouldn’t get to see that on a farm.

“Yes yes let’s go find Blue,” Lou rolled off the alley mattress he had placed on the floor. He needed to find a bed frame or some cinder blocks at some point. Not because his knees and back were getting creaky he refused to admit it. As far as he was concerned time simply didn’t pass in the sewers. No mirrors, no cameras, no wrinkles.

Before getting up properly he slid an oven mitt on and one of those arm protector things he was pretty sure was from hockey. He held Orange in his mitted hand rubbing his eyes with his free arm. He couldn’t have gotten more than three hours of sleep. Which was honestly more than he was expecting but probably not a good thing if Blue had been galavanting about.

Lou stopped by the nursery first. It was clear of any fire hazard furniture other than the four ‘cribs’ Containment Required for Incredible Baby sh- Well the last part probably wasn’t very family friendly.

Reds was a very nice comfortable pile of (shredded) blankets… with a flipped over crib stacked tall with random items and furniture. Or at least it was supposed to be the crib was flipped over, furniture scattered and Red nowhere to be seen.

Blue’s was close by because Red liked having his brothers near. Honestly Lou wasn’t sure what to do with that one. He always tucked him in very snugly and had a bungee cord tethering him to the crib. Not that it ever worked since the crib was empty, bungee cord snapped.

Orange’s was actually a busted up clawfoot tub, with very shallow water. Sue him for child endangerment and all that but he was pretty sure that ship had sailed when he was forced to move them down into the sewer. Say what you will but it had an almost one hundred percent success rate(when Blue didn’t interfere) keeping orange in and the lair not burnt down.

Purple had a verifiable mountain of pillows and blankets. Lou would like to pretend that was for good parenting reasons but some days it felt more like a bribery to convince the soft shell to stay put. A makeshift wall was formed around it with old pieces of wood held up by loose bricks and a few chairs. That was usually enough to keep him from accidentally rolling away.

“At least one of you can appreciate sleep,” Lou sighed, taking a closer look at the curled up soft shell. His head snapped up when Lou’s head came into view holding his arms out demanding attention, “Or not,”

Lou balanced Orange in one hand thankful his boys were small enough to fit in his hands. He didn’t know how he was going to survive when plucking them up wasn’t an option anymore. Purple kept making grabby hands demanding to be held which Lou had full intentions of doing right up until his knuckles cracked painfully against a suddenly there purple shield.

“Ow-dammit! Don’t repeat that,” He told both the hatchlings very seriously. Orange giggled because he was secretly a sadist. Purple gave him a mighty baby glare tearing up insisting more to be held, “Purple, sweetie, honey, I can’t help you until you take down your shield,”

He said for what had to be the thousandth time. Once again for the thousandth time Purple proceeded to cry while his walls kept up.

“Alright, buddy I’m sorry I really can’t go through this with you right now, I need to go find your brothers,” Who were both missing and in best case scenario just tearing up the lair. Not some government officials house who would have the means and motivation to track them down and destroy them out of revenge. This is why he should know better than to fall asleep, “But that does not mean I am abandoning you, I will be back… soonish,”

He attempted to back away, Purple glaring at him the whole while. He made it to the exit wiping his brow in relief as the crying died down-- then started up screaming at twice the volume.

“Whhahhyyyiiiyy,” Lou whined looking down at orange who was gnawing gummily at his oven mitt, “I can’t abandon him can I? Alright purple you win but you’re not going to like it,”

Lou went back kicking aside one of the panels. From there it was a slow process of gently rolling(kicking) Purple in front of him. The turtle didn’t like getting rocked around any more but it was his own choice. This could probably be applied in some life lesson somewhere. So technically this was good parenting.

“Oh I know you’re not pleased with me,” Lou told his son, stopping for a second to reposition the orb to get around the kitchen doorway, the softshell glared up at him, “But consider this,” he kicked the sphere forward sending Purple tumbling through it, “Oh ho ho… I’m a terrible parent,”

Splinter chuckled miserably to himself, following his son into the kitchen. Purple bumped against the bench unharmed but dizzy. The kitchen on the other hand was very much harmed. Lou was glad Purple was in the bubble because there was shattered dishes all over the floor. Cupboards were thrown open and the left overs they had was thrown across the counter, a striped turtle looking up at him guilty.

“Blue,” Lou said in warning. A blue glow started under him his boy disappearing through it. Lou went on high alert looking around the kitchen for a sign of his son reappearing, “Blue!”

A portal reappeared dropping Blue over the glass covered floor. Lou ran lunging to make up the distance. He landed on the broken shards hissing as they dug and cut into him. His hands remained outstretched just off from where his baby blue was falling, his son hurtling towards the hazardous floor making Lou’s heart stop… a portal appeared just in front of his hands, Blue disappearing never touching the floor.

Lou hardly had a second to sigh in relief before he was up again and looking for the next portal. Luckily enough it formed not far away and he just had to reach out half lunging over the counter to catch the hatchling.

“Gotcha,” Lou caught Blue in one hand juggling orange in the other. Both of his sons giggling at him. It was cute until the moment of panic wore off and he became aware of the piece of glass digging into him as he pressed against the counter, “Ow ow,”

Lou didn’t have time to remove the jagged shards sticking out of him. Both of his hands full he carefully tiptoed over to purple kicking him to the next room. It was a lounge of sorts given the face he had only managed to drag one arm chair in here. Lou dumped Blue and Orange in their makeshift playpen, a wooden crate that hadn’t been set on fire yet. He wedged Purple under the footrest so he wouldn’t go rolling anywhere before collapsing into the chair with a sigh.

He took a moment to groan loudly but he couldn’t wallow too long. He was still down one son and filled with glass. Lou started to pry the pieces out of him. Luckily he was wearing jeans so all but a few large pieces had missed his legs. Same with his torso, most were fairly shallow and easy to find. The worst of it was his arms, which he had to bring the tweezers out to get all the pieces. Thank goodness his mutation had at least given him increased healing, with these kids he needed it.

Lou stood up, he would still need to bandage the cuts but that could be done after he had found and made sure Red was safe. Blue and orange were occupying themselves with the rattle Lou had made by putting a couple of screws in a container. He knew soon they would start fighting over it but for now it wasn’t a fire hazard. Purple was pushing against his shield trying to free himself from being wedged under the footstool.

“All of you stay put, I’m looking at you blue,” He told the turtle seriously, Blue happily babbled back at him, “I need to go find red,”

“RaRa!”

“Yes RaRa- NO Blue!” In a flash of light Lou was in freefall, barely registering the change before he was landing in a dumpster in a place too bright to be the sewers. There were dogs barking and growling not far from him and the bustling sounds of passersby a little further away.

Lou groaned letting his head thunk back against a very nice soft rusted washing machine. Well if he wasn't at risk of infecting his cuts living in the sewers they definitely were now. He’d have to raid a pharmacy for antibiotics on their way back to the sewers from wherever in New York Blue had dropped him.

Speaking of, he pushed himself up looking around the alley. Sure enough one end had a busy street with people too busy to look down the narrow gulley even with the dogs barking up a ruckus. Lou cast a wary look at them doubling back when he saw what they had been barking at.

“Red!” He jumped out of the bin grabbing a busted up piece of what had once been a broom.

He hit the nearest mutt surrounding his son. The boy wrapped up in his larger projection cowering against a wall. The others snapped their attention to him growling. Lou hissed in turn not entirely conscious he was doing it as he started hitting the dogs causing enough grief the pack decided they weren’t worth it.

Lou growled lowly at their retreat, his fur on end. He tried to shake himself out of it. Or find it in himself to be ashamed at the animalistic behavior, but that was hard when it helped protect his son.

“Oh little Red,” He cooed the hatchlings projection still pressed against the wall.

Lou could only hope that New York lived up to their reputation and no one spared a second glance at the rat man and his giant red son in the alleyway. Lou held out his hands trying to encourage Red to jump down to them. Instead the giant version of his son leant down until his head was resting in Lou’s hands.

“It’s alright sweetie,” He cradled the projection, patting his son’s head while looking inward to the small snapper hidden within, “Dada’s got you,”

Red whined reaching out to grab him. Lou winced as he was crushed in the too strong baby grip smooshing him against the red energy field. Half his face was pressed up against it inside he could see the real Red trying to reach out for him.

Lou smiled sadly, how scary for his boys to have powers completely out of their control. He didn’t struggle doing his best to comfort his son through the projection until he felt safe enough to take it down.

When it finally dissipated Lou’s fast reflexes from always catching Blue kicked in scooping up Red no problem. The snapper giggled as Lou cradled him close. He smiled, booping him on the snout quickly pulling back before Red could live up to his species name.

“What do you say we try to find Dada a pharmacy then sneak into a sewer and try to find our way home?” Red squealed which Lou took to mean agreement.

Thanks to Blue he had already gotten a crash course in getting around the city so soon enough they were back in the sewers close to home. He heard the damages his sons had wrought on their lair before he saw it. Good thing he kept that dumpster broom.

“Blue you’re in big trouble young man,” He called into the lair.

The boys were still in the living room. The crate was on fire Purple in the middle of it protected by his force field. A random assortment of items were thrown around things from basketballs to surfboards, a roller skate and a pile of odd socks. So perhaps Blue had been trying to get them back and Lou couldn’t be too mad. Other than the fact it provided Orange with more kindling.

“Go wrangle them up for me,” He set Red on the ground patting the snapper on the head and the rat went to grab a fire extinguisher.

Both Blue and Purple had instantly flocked to Red’s side climbing over the snapper and patting his head. Orange was attempting to do the same but was still on fire. Thankfully a combination of Red and Purple force fields were keeping him at bay. Interestingly enough the colors seemed to be flowing into each other where they intersected.

Ignoring that for now Lou went about putting out fires, including orange. The hatchling was never pleased to be doused but got over it when it meant he could finally join his brothers. Putting the near spent fire extinguisher aside, Lou scooped up his sons. Grateful that his chair was only half singed he sunk down in it cradling the turtles close.

“You four run me absolutely ragged,” He complained to the squealing giggling tots.

Orange was attempting to climb him, making a suspicious beeline for his hair. No thank you Lou could still smell the burning from the goatee incident. Blue opened up a portal above them. A shiny crown fell from it directly onto Lou’s head. He tried not to worry where that had just been stolen from as the portal closed behind it. Hopefully the news reports would make up something outlandish like a heist rather than the reality of mutant magic turtles.

Purple decided he both did and didn’t want to be held. Creating a field around him and smooshing Red into the crux of Lou’s elbow. The snapper didn’t seem to mind teething on the one patch of skin Lou hadn’t bandaged. Considering his jaw strength that would likely change. But telling him off was a slippery slope into giant tantrum time.

Lou smiled, squeezing all of them close.

“I wouldn't have it any other way,”

#mystic tots #rise of the tmnt #Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rise of the tmnt #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise #rottmnt #rottmnt turtle tots #turtle tots

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monstersandmaw · 1 year

Text

Male werewolf x female character (Gabe & Odessa) - Chapter Twenty (nsfw)

Disclaimer which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

___

Thank you a million times to those few still reblogging/commenting on this story with lovely tags and thoughts. This update is for you. I’ve seen a couple of you theorising about what’s going on, and you’ll start to get your answers in this and the next chapter... :)

The notes have really fallen away as the chapters have gone on though, so I’ll push these last two chapters out, and finish ‘Season One’ in the next few days. I’ve got ‘Season Two’ all planned out but not written, but I’m not sure I’ll share them here if there’s little to no interest in the story anymore.

Content: group farewell dinner, a bit of angst and insecurity afterwards, growly werewolf smut, and a little cliffhanger... :) Wordcount: 4124

Catch up here:

Part One (sfw), Part Two (sfw), Part Three (sfw), Part Four (sfw), Part Five (sfw), Part Six (sfw) Part Seven (sfw), Part Eight (sfw), Part Nine (sfw), Part Ten (sfw), Part Eleven (nsfw), Part Twelve (sfw), Part Thirteen (sfw), Part Fourteen (nsfw), Part Fifteen (nsfw), Part Sixteen (nsfw), Part Seventeen (sfw), Part Eighteen (v. light nsfw), Part Nineteen (nsfw)

The Boar and Hart wasn’t particularly crowded when they arrived sometime after seven that night.

Odessa glanced up at Gabe over her shoulder as they paused in the doorway to look around and he laid his hand on the small of her back. He leaned down to murmur in her ear, speaking with a little twist at the corner of his lips, “Did I mention how gorgeous you look in those jeans?”

“You might have mentioned something like it when we were trying to leave the cabin, yes,” she said with deadpan humour, emphasising the word ‘trying’. “And your reaction to them is why we’re way later than we’d said we’d be, and why I’m walking kinda funny…”

Yes, Gabe was the reason why there was an additional ache in her pelvis from when he’d crowded her up against the bedroom door and undone her close-fitting, black jeans, tugging them unceremoniously down her thighs, and sliding his fingers first around her aching clit and then burying them deep inside her. He’d held her up and made her come standing, which was a feat in itself, and she’d all but collapsed afterwards.

He’d carried her effortlessly over to the bed and kissed her until she’d started to writhe and squirm, though not in protest, and he’d kissed and coaxed yet another orgasm out of her which she most definitely hadn’t thought she’d had in her to start with. He’d come on her stomach a minute later, and she’d made him pay for being so charmingly cheeky by only barely swiping herself clean with a tissue before dressing again.

He could easily smell it on her over the scents of the bar — the patrons and their perfumes; the tang of alcohol and the waft of food — while they wove their way through the tables to join Tala and Carys and a couple of people she didn’t recognise, and it was going to be sweet torture for him. On the one hand, it left his wolf contented to be able to smell the fact that he was the one she’d allowed to be all over her, but she could also tell how it drove him slowly wild beneath that steady, calm, polite facade. Odessa had never been given that kind of power in a relationship before, and the agency and thrill it gave her was intoxicating.

Of course, Gabe wasn’t exactly helpless that night; he knew just how to make her heart skip a beat or two by that point, and he wasn’t afraid to be playful about it either.

Odessa barely remembered anything about the meal that followed.

She had the vaguest impression of Tala making up for her defensive behaviour with some gentle teasing about how well-suited she and Gabe were for each other in the end, and the other two members of the park service team that she’d not met before that had to agree.

“Got to say, Gabe,” Jack, a wiry young man with curly blond hair and grey-blue eyes grinned, laughing in a high, musical tenor as he leaned over the table with his hands around a largely-empty pint glass, “Didn’t think you were interested in anyone like that. You know, long term.”

“I wasn’t,” Gabe shrugged simply. “Odessa kind of took me by surprise.”

“To be fair,” Odessa countered, “I wasn’t looking for a relationship either when I came here. It just kind of… happened.”

Jack laughed and sat back, draining the rest of his beer. “Meant to be then,” he said.

Gabe shot Odessa a look and another shrug that seemed a bit too casual. “Something like that.”

“What will you do now?” Carys asked carefully, her glinting eyes flitting from one to the other of them. “I can’t say I see Gabe moving to the city with his wolf-dogs…”

“Definitely not,” she said, and she watched Carys’ shoulders relax just a fraction. Odessa shook her head with a scowl, curls bouncing in a wild, dark mane around her face. She didn’t miss the way Gabe subtly tilted his nose towards her and inhaled. Under the table, he squeezed her fingers in his just for a moment. “Honestly, we’re not sure. We’re going to have to do distance for the time being —”

“— Gabe’s gonna have to get bloody internet at his house for a start,” Jack interjected, and Gabe flushed.

“And upgrade his phone,” Tala added with a stunning smile. “You’re one step away from looking for a public phone to call her, Gabe.”

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly and took in the number of empty glasses on the table with a quick look. “If you lot stop grilling us about what we’re going to do, I’ll get the next round. Same again for everyone?”

All but Carys nodded, and Gabe extricated himself from the table, gripping Odessa’s shoulder as he passed and then disappeared towards the bar. Odessa watched him go, and smiled when he shared a friendly word with Holly behind the bar. It felt good to know that he was loved by the people here — that he would be alright while she went back to the city for a time.

When she looked back at Carys, Odessa found the older woman regarding her carefully again, and she cocked her head in a silent question.

Carys shook her head in a ‘not now’ gesture, and instead she just said, “Make sure I’ve got your number before you leave.”

“You can have it now,” Odessa said, and they exchanged details while the others chattered on around them. Gabe returned bearing another round of sweet potato fries on the tray as well, and even though they all groaned, the basket was empty again in a quarter of an hour.

Jack was the first to start yawning, and the others began to follow suit not long afterwards. Finally, they called it a night sometime after half ten.

The day’s driving rain had moved on down the valley, leaving the pavements sparkling and glittering in the clear night, and their breath made foggy, dancing ghosts in the air around them as the small group parted ways outside the pub. Odessa looked around and watched them go, Jack and his girlfriend Lydia both flirting harmlessly with Tala as they went, while Carys shook her head and waved over her shoulder as she headed off towards her apartment on the edge of the tiny town.

Tala had been right — dinner had been another good distraction — but reality sank like a stone through her gut as she stood there and knew that this was the last night she’d be spending in Pinewatch for a while.

“You want to walk around for a bit or head back to the cabin?” Gabe asked. They’d walked down together instead of driving since they’d both felt like having a beer with the others, and now that the rain had stopped, it would likely be a pleasant walk back despite the damp, autumnal chill in the air. She didn’t need to worry about finding her way in the dark because Gabe's night vision was probably better than hers was during the day.

Odessa took a moment to look up and down the sleepy street, and realised she wasn’t ready to let it go just yet. “Walk,” she said, and Gabe tilted his elbow towards her, letting her slide her fingers into the crook of his arm for warmth as they strolled aimlessly along the pavement. They passed sleepy shops with their lights out for the night, and a cat slunk along the line of parked cars before hissing at Gabe and darting up a steaming side alley.

He huffed a regretful little laugh as it fled, and idly nudged at a pebble with his toe a few paces later. He seemed to be holding his breath.

“What is it?” she asked, wondering if the almost-full moon was making him tense, or if it was her departure the next morning, or something else entirely.

He just shook his head though and offered her a fleeting smile. It dissolved again into a tense scowl, and she stopped. The movement turned him a little towards her, and his brows knitted together.

“Gabe?”

His expression wavered a little, eyes going glassy, and he glanced away, blinking rapidly. His breathing was quick and shallow, and his weathered, outdoorsy complexion looked unusually pallid, even accounting for the washed-out streetlights further up the road.

“Talk to me.”

“It hurts,” he rasped, and closed his eyes with a soft grimace.

“What does? The full moon?”

“What? No,” he said quickly, not understanding her at first. “No, it’s not… it’s nothing to do with that. I just…” he stopped himself, grinding his teeth together to stop the words tumbling out against his will, and he growled. “No,” he said.

“No what? Gabe, talk to me?” she insisted, and her stomach soured a little.

“It’s not fair,” he said in a barely-audible exhalation.

“What’s not fair? I thought we’d already decided that we’d figure it out as we go. We’ll find a way that works for both of us. I’ll look for something in the area, or for something I can do remotely, and —”

“ —No,” he said, eyes flashing as he looked back at her; the irises glowing unnaturally in the yellow lamplight. “No. Odessa, you shouldn’t have to give up your entire life just because I’m a wild animal that can’t stand the city.”

Her chest constricted and she blinked. “That’s how you see it? And what life, Gabe?” she scoffed. “I’d already quit my job before I even met you; I broke up with my cheating ex; and I came here because I wanted something new and different. Something that was mine, and my choice. I found that, Gabe. I found exactly what I want.” She gripped his forearm with her fingers and glared up at him. “I found you.”

“Your friends —” he protested rather weakly, his expression torn between shock and hesitant joy.

“— will still be my friends. It’s only a five hour drive, Gabe. It’s not like I’d be moving to a different continent.”

“What would you even do out here?” he asked, voice low and rough. “You're a lawyer and the nearest courthouse is sixty miles away.”

“People change careers, Gabe, and institutions like the park services need legal teams too. It’s not all about trail cams and bird nests…” He did smile shyly at that. “The money was really good before, but the rest of it sucked, ok? It fucking sucked. I was miserable. I had no life, I was barely home, I hardly slept, and I didn’t even notice that my partner had been cheating on me for months. I wouldn't call that much of a life, Gabe. Even if I don’t find work, I can still rent an apartment here in Pinewatch — hell, I could probably book out the holiday cabin for the next six months and still have enough savings not to work for at least a year. We can make something work.”

The vulnerable, open look in his face finally stopped her and she narrowed her eyes.

“What’s this really about, Gabe?”

“Odessa, you’re human, and you’ve only known me and known about werewolves for two weeks,” he whispered, his voice almost lost behind the brief hiss of tyres as a car passed them on the road and disappeared into the dark forest beyond the town.

“The same amount of time you’ve known me. If you’re having doubts though, feel free to tell me now,” she said and tried not to sound petulant about it.

“No!” he said quickly, shaking his head and looking somehow more disquieted. “No, I’m not. I’m certain. You’re… You’re it for me, Odessa.”

“Then what’s going on?”

“Am I —?” he cut off, swallowed thickly. “Would you really leave everything behind… for me?”

For someone as tall and powerful as Gabe, he looked like a single autumn leaf could knock him down. Am I enough for you? his golden eyes asked, though his lips didn’t say as much. Or am I perhaps too much?

Odessa felt all the tension drain out of her and she stepped close to him. She looped her arms around his middle and hugged him, pressing her cheek against his chest and squeezing him tightly. “You silly wolf,” she whispered.

Gabe let out a ragged exhale, then tentatively brought his arms up around her shoulders.

“Yes, Gabe,” she said. “I want to see where this goes, and I’m not going to make any rash decisions. I’m going to keep my apartment in the city and I’m going to keep my job options open, ok? I’m going to look and see what there is around here. We’re going to talk on the phone, and I’ll come and see you again soon, and we’re going to make it work as best we can. I’ve never felt anything like this before for someone, so no more of this talk from either of us, ok?”

He stroked her hair and then sighed. “You’re getting cold,” he said. “Come on.”

They walked hand in hand in silence along the road, and when they came to the rutted, muddy driveway that led to her cabin, Gabe squeezed her hand and guided her around the worst of the potholes in the dark.

“You’re staying, right?” she asked when she saw his truck sitting quietly in front of the little wooden house, bathed in a small circle of golden light from the porch lamp over the door.

“If you’ll have me,” he smiled, and he shifted his hand distractingly to the curve of her backside while she was getting her keys out of her jacket pocket.

“Oh, I’ll have you, Gabriel,” she purred as she unlocked the door.

His eyes hadn’t stopped glowing gold all the way back, and as he let out a sonorous, growling exhale, his lips pulled back a fraction and he snarled under his breath. “You make it very hard for me to resist, Odessa,” he said.

“You don’t have to resist,” she said with open honesty in her face as she looked up at him. “What do you want?”

“You,” came his immediate response. “However you want me.”

“I want to shower and get the smell of the bar off me first,” she said, her fingers going to the buttons of her dark maroon blouse even as she backed away from the front door and maintained her eye contact with him.

He closed the door behind him and stood stock still in the living room of the cabin as she started to undo her top a little further, revealing a deep ‘v’ of bare skin beneath before drawing the silky fabric away to show her dark bra. Another long, low-frequency growl escaped him, like a leopard hunting in the dark, and a thrill ran through her whole body. Gabe was absolutely not human, and she loved it.

And he could smell that she loved it too, if the way his pupils blew wide and black, and he scented the air as she retreated.

With a smile, Odessa turned away and walked towards the bedroom. At the door, she turned and found him suddenly following close behind her, moving silently, eyes glowing.

She tied her hair up in a loose bun and stepped out of her jeans in the doorway to the bathroom.

“You joining me?” she asked with one hand on the glass door of the shower.

“If I may,” he said in a rough, quiet voice.

“You may,” she smiled.

While the water heated up, Gabe undressed and ran his hands up her back, kissing across her shoulders and breathing in the scent of her skin. He left a kiss on the nape of her neck that left her shivering, and then followed her into the searing shower.

He washed her, taking his time, and while he was hard in no time, he didn’t make any sign of wanting to do more than enjoy her body in the water. The intimacy of being washed by someone, of having his hands sculpt her body into heaving sighs and shuddering gasps, left her buzzing and when she stepped out a while later, she could hardly think straight.

“I never thought it could be like this with someone,” she said as he kissed her in the coiling steam. “I never knew it was supposed to be like this.”

They shared a breath, lips brushing, right before he kissed her again.

“Nor I,” he smiled.

They abandoned their towels on the floor and crossed to the bed. Continuing their heated intimacy, Gabe lay on his back and she curled up against his side with her head on his shoulder and her arm across his perfect torso. She hooked her right leg over his left thigh and ran her thumb across his pec and teased his nipple. His breath caught and he groaned, bucking weakly against her and making his hard cock bob and leak a little pre-come.

“Your body is incredible, Gabe,” she said, pressing her thumb a little harder into the muscle of his chest and then lightly scoring her nails down over the ridges of his lean stomach to his hip bone. He groaned and heaved beneath the passage of her hand along his body. “I’ve never seen anyone who looks like you outside of movies or magazines.”

“Being a werewolf helps,” he said. “I shift more than most of my kind too, I think,” he added with a hoarse grunt as she teased her fingertips up the crease between his thigh and his balls. He opened his legs for her and she cupped him gently, playing idly with him until he started to breathe in shallow pants, eyes closing, cock twitching and leaking another line of clear pre-come onto his abs. “Odessa…” he growled as she rolled his balls carefully in her hand.

“Mmm?”

“God, you’re trouble,” he laughed. “I feel like a teenager again — like I don’t know if I want to come or shift any second, or both.”

She laughed and moved to lie atop him. All traces of her self-consciousness had evaporated in the two weeks she’d spent with him. She no longer felt awkward about the weight around her hips or the soft rolls at her waist. She felt beautiful in a way she’d never been made to feel before, and certainly not since gaining those extra pounds. And Gabe, it seemed, couldn't get enough of her.

He growled again, that slow, rolling sound that was almost a purr, and her eyes fluttered. She shifted and his cock slid easily inside her. She’d never had so much sex in her life either, and it felt incredible to be so wanted, so desired — so desirable. He moaned, as though sliding inside her was like coming home, and he couldn’t seem to stop growling now that he’d started.

“Oh fuck…” he grunted around the constant rumble in his throat. “Oh god, you’re still so tight. How are you so tight? God, you’re perfect. Is this alright?” he added when her breath caught a little.

“Yes,” she gasped, adjusting her hips a little and taking him just-so inside her. Somehow she started to feel like it wasn’t enough; like she could still somehow get closer to him, take more of him, though she was pretty sure he was as deep as he could physically get.

“Gabe, I want you.”

“You have me,” he said.

“Wait,” she breathed, and raised herself off him to lie down on her back instead, legs apart in invitation. “Like this.” Perhaps from that angle he could give her the closeness her body craved. It had certainly been intense the last time he’d thrust into her like that, with the backs of her legs pressed against his chest.

His eyes glinted gold when she opened her legs to him and he settled his knees between her thighs and just stared at her for a second. In the past she would have felt self-consciousness roar through her like a consuming wildfire, but now she felt his gaze on her like a physical touch against her skin, and she grew even wetter beneath its weight. He finally reached out and thumbed a circle around her pulsing clit, pushing gently underneath it before circling lazily — adoringly — around it until she let out a guttural groan and begged him for more.

Without preamble, he slid his cock easily back into her and lifted her legs until both rested on his shoulders. He held her thighs in his strong, rough-palmed hands, and ground slowly against her, catching her deep.

Her hands clutched at the sheets beneath her as pleasure stoked and built inside her.

Claws pricked her skin and she opened eyes she hadn’t noticed closing to find him with his eyelids closed too, his cheek nuzzled against her leg. His lips drew back to reveal his canines, and his hairline crept forward as the shift from human to wolf nudged insistently at him. He looked mesmerised by the feel of her around his cock, rocking back and forth inside her like a ship at sea, slowly building the pleasure for both of them until he opened his mouth and let his sharp, thick, inhuman fangs scrape across her skin.

She moaned his name and arched her back a little, and he tugged her even deeper onto his cock with a growl. As if that broke the spell, he got a little faster and with each thrust, he let out an animal snarl. His pace picked up, the rhythm growing from something slow and intense to a pace that left her gasping for breath. Her breasts moved with the force of each thrust, her whole body shunting along the bed towards the pillows, and the individual growls began to blur together into something fierce and almost feral.

“Want you,” he hissed. “I always want you. I want you all the time,” he went on, and she wasn’t even sure he knew he was speaking out loud. “The moment I smell you again, I want you. Then I look at you and I can’t remember how to breathe,” he went on, barely audible around the snarling growls pouring out of him. “Odessa.”

His legs quivered but he didn’t break the rhythm of his hips, pistoning in and out of her with increasing speed, each stroke leaving her breathless and dizzy with the surging pleasure. Claws pinched at her skin, keeping her tethered as her orgasm grew and began to sing in her ears.

“I’m yours, Odessa,” he choked. “God, I’m yours.” Then she thought she heard him whisper, “Take me. Please… have me. Take me as your…” The words were so faint she could barely hear him over the pounding of blood in her body and the way his wild growling was filling the room.

With a sudden, surprised whimper, the rapid rhythm of his hips faltered and he stopped moving altogether. He froze and a tremulous shudder ran through him.

For a second, she thought he was coming, but it didn’t feel like it had before, and her eyes flew open in alarm. His back heaved and he bit back a roaring howl that dissolved into a pained, whimpering snarl. Something was wrong, and cold adrenaline raced through her, replacing the pleasure in her veins.

“Shit,” he grunted.

Gabe was shaking in earnest now. Snarls just spilled out of his snapping jaws until he froze again, his whole body grinding to a halt for a second time. His muscles still trembled but it felt like he was keeping himself from moving at all; fighting something.

“Gabe?”

He snarled again and clacked his teeth together, tendons straining as he desperately tried to suck in enough air with his lungs were spasming too hard to manage it. “Shit…” he said again.

“What’s wrong?” She sounded small and frightened to her own ears.

Between short, snatched breaths he gasped, “The shift… I’m… losing control. Odessa, I’m… I…” He turned his face away and shuddered violently. His back heaved again, and the groan that left him was no longer full of pleasure, but pain. “I’ve never… not like this…”

“Gabe, look at me?”

“Odessa…” he choked, and all the passion turned to wild panic. “I… can’t… I can’t hold it back…”

“Look at me,” she said more firmly, and he did. “Oh Gabe,” she whispered when she saw his eyes wild and full of fear. “It’s alright. You can shift. Shift if you need to.”

“Odessa?” he whispered, and for the first time since she’d found out about his secret, he looked afraid.

Next chapter -->

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