#I would have such a bad time seeing the scene described
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The Apothecary Diaries
S1E16 First Watch
Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.
To start at the beginning:
Episode 1
My character/locations cheat sheet
Suiren - Jinshi's attendant
Lakan - mysterious officer
Basan - an officer who works in the palace
Jinshi is deeply divided on whether he should have allowed Lakan access to Maomao. He's going to feel pretty guilty if things go badly.
Jinshi explains the details of the case of the metalworker's estate to Maomao. She's always interested in a mystery.
Jinshi: What's with all the sudden enthusiasm?
Dude is asking a question he knows the answer to.
Solving mysteries is where Maomao shines. Jinshi knows this better than anyone. It's one of the things that knocked him head-over-heels for this lady. But he's a little ticked at how easily Lakan was able to hook Maomao's interest. Lakan who hasn't even met Maomao yet, knew exactly how to lure her out. Perhaps Jinshi was hoping that Maomao would refuse, and release him from the deal he made with Lakan. Why did he agree to this? Jinshi is supremely uneasy with all of it.
As the conversation progresses Jinshi takes a more comfortable position on the couch, no longer bothering to behave as a proper palace official or even an employer in front of Maomao. Rather his pose is more like the casual sprawling one might do with family or friends. Jinshi is so persistent in how he stays open and inviting to Maomao, even in his body language. In this scene, Maomao is kneeling properly at the low table. Her body language is formal.
Lakan had provided an address to follow up with the mystery if it intrigued Maomao.
Maomao: How well prepared. It's like he anticipated this happening.
I do not like this at all. This Lakan is too good at maneuvering Maomao and Jinshi.
Maomao request a day off to look in to the case, and Jinshi is not happy. Not because she's missing work around the residence, but because she walked so willingly into Lakan's well laid plan for her. He's probably also pissed at himself for allowing this, but apparently Jinshi really wants to know the rest of Lakan's courtesan story. Jinshi can't see what Lakan has planned, and he's very worried about Maomao. Suiren is completely fine with Maomao leaving. Smiling and waving? Is she actually happy that Maomao is leaving, or is she looking forward to drowning her in work when she returns? I can't read her yet. I miss Lady Gyokuyou and the Jade Pavilion ladies who were so sweet.
Basan. Another mystery. Damn those golden eyes! Who else had eyes like that?! Maomao said he looks familiar, and he does, but like who? Gaaaaah!
Basan is suppose to escort Maomao on her investigation, and he's still acting like an ass, and I'm still wondering when I can see Jinshi fight him again. Maomao says she can tolerate his bad attitude, since she views him as harmless. That's good, because sometimes with trauma, especially from sexual trauma, aggression can be a trigger. I don't like that she has to just put up with this guy's pissy attitude.
Fuck me, Basan and Gaoshun?! Well a blood relationship between the two at least explains why Jinshi and Gaoshun feel comfortable letting this guy go all around the palace with Maomao. Is Basan a child of Gaoshun or like a nephew or something? Is this going to be enough for Maomao to at least question if Gaoshun is a eunuch or not? No. The answer is no, but she should!
Of course Maomao solves the mystery that was left by the metalworker for his sons. A majority of this episode is spent unraveling this mystery, but as far as I can tell the details aren't important to the larger story, so I'm not going to bother describing the twists and turn of it. Basically we get to see how a father would rather go to extreme lengths to create a puzzle for his sons to try to solve upon his death, then give them words of encouragement or advice while he was still alive. The youngest son tries to reconcile the family by passing on compliments he heard his father say in private and never directly to his children. Maomao wisely bows out of that bullshit, but suggests they seek medical treatment from Luomen if they develop symptoms like their father had.
On the return trip, Basan gives Maomao a considering look. Perhaps he's starting to see how brilliant and capable she is? Maybe he will try to rein in his bad attitude where it comes to Maomao? Or maybe... he will fall in love with her! I don't know why I'm looking for more drama from this show, it's already angsty enough. Even so, maybe a romantic rival would help push Jinshi and Maomao past the standstill they've come to.
Lakan is back. He thanks Jinshi for Maomao's work, which I understand within the context of this show, but it still pisses me off. It smacks of misogyny as it's a subtle way of affirming Jinshi's ownership of Maomao, and demonstrates Lakan's lack of respect for women and servants.
Lakan then goes on to explain what happened sounding far too pleased, like he's already gotten everything he wanted. Jinshi knows all of this is part of a stratagem from Lakan, but what his goal is, is yet unclear. Jinshi doesn't know what happened on Maomao's outing (in his head he refers to her as "the apothecary," here which I find odd). She never reported back about her findings. And maybe that is what has Lakan looking so smug. He's uncovered that truth that Maomao is Jinshi's courtesan in name only. And even though Jinshi may be trying to hide what he feels for Maomao from Lakan, I'm sure Lakan is aware. Maomao is a soft spot to attack or control Jinshi.
Jinshi notes that Lakan is very good at discovering people with talent. And now his attention has landed on Maomao. He talks about the three sons each finding their proper place, and I can't help but think that Lakan believes "finding one's proper place," also applies to Maomao and Jinshi. It's possible that Lakan is insinuating something to Jinshi about him not being in his proper place; perhaps he knows something about Jinshi's true identity. But more likely Lakan is thinking that Maomao is not in her proper place here in Jinshi's residence. Lakan gave her a test and he was delighted by her ability to pass it. Does he intend to remove Maomao from Jinshi's employ? This guy is definitely not done with Maomao.
Lakan: The late metalworker's creations were absolutely remarkable though. There was this simple looking metal piece, that when combined with a ritual utensil... it looked truly magnificent.
I don't know what that thing is, but Lakan's scuzzy look combined with Jinshi's disgust is enough to tell me it's something terrible. What kind of ritual are they talking about here? Jinshi straight up lets us know that this is beneath him. What kind of ritual would be something that someone in Jinshi's position would never use? Jinshi knows that Lakan knows that this is not relevant or appropriate. Lakan so very clearly said it to see how Jinshi would react. And Jinshi is doing his best to hide his thoughts and reactions, but I get the feeling that Lakan can see everything. I can only guess based on the way my stomach feels nauseous watching this exchange that this item is used for something heinous like slavery or rape. Props to the storytellers here for freaking me out. I hope I'm wrong and the horrid thing is a spoon rest.
Lakan: I simply can't abide good talent being kept buried. ... Those who possess genius should receive the appropriate praise and attention.
He's going to take Maomao! Stop him Jinshi!
And Jinshi is actually VERY interested in Lakan's method of decreasing a courtesan's value. Is it that Maomao still owes money at Verdigris House? Is this time now at Jinshi's residence just boughten time, and not the end of her contract? Is this why Jinshi wants to know how to bring her price down? Does Lakan know that Maomao may still have a debt to Verdigris House?! Does he plan to buy out the rest of her time?! Hell no! I won't accept that! What the hell is happening?!
Lakan doesn't want to admit to the fucked up thing he did to that courtesan, so he tells Jinshi to ask Maomao how to reduce her price. This guy is terrible. He told Jinshi his messed up story then left off the part that Jinshi most wanted to know, with a promise to tell him if he could have a chance to test Maomao. Which Jinshi agreed to. When Maomao fulfilled her part, Lakan goes back on his word and refuses to say. Utter trash. And Jinshi let himself be sucked into Lakan's game. I hate all of this.
Then Lakan leaves a beverage for Jinshi's "serving maids," i.e. Maomao. WTF. I am so creeped out by this guy.
Lakan: Farewell. Until tomorrow that is.
Yeah, we're not getting rid of this guy any time soon.
Jinshi collapses the instant Lakan leaves. Yes, Jinshi is going to have to continue to deal with this nightmare who keeps making Jinshi's life difficult, but what is really bothering Jinshi is that he knows he fucked up. Lakan came to see how interested Jinshi is in his concubine, and baited him with his own story about a courtesan. And Jinshi showed him, that he is actually very interested in Maomao. Jinshi also let Lakan take Maomao's measure, knowing this guy has a knack for determining and using such talents. Jinshi is definitely going to blame himself for putting Maomao in this guys sights.
Gaoshun makes a request of Jinshi, that we don't get to hear about, but in the very next scene Jinshi is changing his clothes and asking Maomao to help him with some makeup so is he planning to go out in disguise somewhere? Is he going to visit the annex (one of these episodes will show me what it is!)? What did Gaoshun say to Jinshi? I guess we will find out next time, since that's where the episode ends!
I'm so creeped out by Lakan, but it feels like we are about to get into some plot stuff now, so I'm excited for that.
To start at the beginning:
Episode 1
Next Episode:
Episode 17
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Hello! Would you like a chocolate chip cookie? And if you have an opinion on it can you share why you think that Aziraphale never calls Crowley by his first name when it's really romantic? Thank you!
Thank you for the cookie and the ask. *noms* They're both delicious.
Aziraphale explained in 1941 in what situations he'd be willing to deviate from his normal, fond use of "Crowley" and give Crowley's (very romantic-- Aziraphale loved it) first name a go:
To get used to something is to grow accustomed to it. That's the surface layer of Aziraphale's response to Crowley in 1941 but the innuendo is that he's telling Crowley he's willing to "get used to" Crowley's new first name-- meaning, that Aziraphale is willing to call Crowley "Anthony" in bed.
It's also a bit more romantic a line if you factor in some of the etymology of 'use'/'used' as well as look at how Aziraphale's use of it also connects to wordplay with several other words (brook and bad) and in other scenes in the series (1827 and 2008) as well. More on that under the cut.
Used: from the Latin usus (yes, 2x us-- cute, huh? ) and the Old French us (the French just kinda decided one 'us' was enough to describe what 'us' is, apparently.) It developed from there, predominantly through Old French, into user and the concept of to use. So, long story short, the idea of using something is derived from the concept of 'us' as being a group of more than one person, which adds a bit more of a sense of romance to using the word 'use' in a sexually euphemistic sort of way (at least it does in the context of 'use' being used by two word nerds lol).
To use: original meanings, many of which are still, well, used... to frequent, to practice, to make use of, to enjoy, to apply, to consume. The word replaced the Old English verb brucan in this way. Brucan meant to brook something, which is an old-fashioned way of meaning all of these: to eat with someone; to use; to possess; to endure (to last); to cohabit with; to need; to enjoy.
We heard Aziraphale throw 'brook' into a sentence to Crowley in S2 in 1827, still thinking he had enough time to be flirting with Crowley while discussing the morally right position to take but Crowley felt Wee Morag dying in the process. Maybe not the most cheery example of Ineffable Husbands flirt but it ties linguistically to 'used' and shows a history of Aziraphale using the two words as innuendo:
Used might seem on the surface to be a slightly vulgar way to refer to sex but its etymology, as we can see here, is more romantic and also ties to the food theme of Crowley and Aziraphale's language as well.
The words-within-words of Ineffable Husbands Speak is the first rule of it-- and also the (pardon the bird pun) cardinal rule of language in the show, in general. This is off of the first shot of the show being the word 'war' being shown to us as within the word 'warning'. The word that lives inside used is us.
Crowley is using (ha, unintentional pun, sorry) us/used as recently as in 2.06, even if Muriel has no idea what it means. Crowley doesn't trust that the Inspector Constable isn't going to report to Heaven what they see in the bookshop once they leave so he is actually speaking aloud an intention to take Aziraphale to boozy breakfast in an effort to hide the fact that he's actually thinks they're in massive trouble and need to work out a plan. Everything he's saying, though, as with a lot of what he says to Muriel in general, is in his and Aziraphale's language, mostly for Crowley's own amusement, so this bit below is as much Ineffable Husbands Speak as "extremely alcoholic breakfast at The Ritz" is:
"When Aziraphale does come back, I think we need a little us time."
Us Time = Muriel, that's when all house guests need to get gone because Antony and Cleopatra need to use the fuck out of each other...
...but going back to brook for a second?
We looked at brook as a verb, right? What it means to brook? But the common way we use the word brook now is in its other meaning as a noun-- a brook is a stream. It's a body of water and it houses fish. If you've seen any other post I've made about Ineffable Husbands Speak, you've probably seen that we can see that fish and everything nautical/the sea/ships/etc. is rooted in Aziraphale's oysters innuendo in Rome when they started sleeping together. They use references to fish as euphemistic for the sexual experience and, in particular, orgasm. The sea as sexual metaphor isn't exactly new (those "crashing waves" are in many a book lol) but Crowley & Aziraphale have turned basically anything related to the sea into sexual innuendo across several scenes.
If there's a pun to be had, Crowley & Aziraphale have found it, and one of the more amusing ones is a word where fish/the sea crosses into Heaven/Hell-related words-- and that's in damned. To be damned is to have been cast to Hell but within damned is the word dam. A dam is a natural or manmade barrier that exists to stop or redirect the movement of a body of water. As Ineffable Husbands Speak innuendo, being damned would then seem to be at least one of, if not both of the following: to be to be restrained in bed (something which several different scenes suggest Crowley periodically enjoys) and/or a reference to repeatedly stopping prior to an orgasm aka edging (also something which the language in several scenes suggest is an Ineffable Husbands favorite past time.) More than likely, it's probably the two combined.
From here, go to the innuendo that ends the 2008 minisode in 1.01, when Aziraphale says: "Well, I'll be damned" and Crowley replies, with a wink:
😂😉 Bonus etymology because it adds something to Crowley's above flirt:
Bad: From the Old German baeddel, which meant hermaphroditic, a word that's a bit outdated in our modern use of language but which is of historical relevance to being intersex and is rooted in the Greek god Hermaphroditus-- the intersex child of Hermes and Aphrodite, the goddess of erotic love. (It's Aphrodite who is the root of the word aphrodisiac and who was frequently depicted in art on the shell of a scallop or an oyster.)
Hermaphroditus was one of the Erotes, which were the ancient Greek gods of love and sex. When they're referred to in Roman art and literature, the Erotes are called "Cupids." In the 18th century, a French novelist popularized a rebranding of sort of Asmodeus as a Cupid-like figure and Crowley didn't exactly deny that he's Asmodeus when Aziraphale suggested so in the Golgotha scene. There is also the Cupid statue in the bookshop-- seen in the same scene in S1 where Crowley flirts with Aziraphale by using "bad" and "used." (It's visible in the earlier part of the scene, when Crowley is still drunk and walking around.) The Cupid sculpture is angled so that it is aiming its arrow at Aziraphale's desk. 💘
There is also that, in 'Demon's Guide to Angelic Beings Who Walk the Earth' (the book Furfur has in 1941), Furfur has written a note to remind himself not to trust Crowley because, among other reasons: "his hair is bad!" The joke is that Furfur doesn't know just how true that is (or see the irony because Furfur's hair is also a pompadour of sorts lol.) Crowley's hair is always in a variation on the pompadour-- an intersex hairstyle throughout history, worn by everyone from society ladies to Elvis. Crowley is bad, indeed, and it adds a bit of self-referential-ness to the "it's not so bad when you get used to it" wordplay that suggests Aziraphale's own history with being damned-- even though he's still an angel in 2008. 😉
#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#good omens 2#good omens meta#crowley x aziraphale#ineffable husbands speak#etymology
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What if the reader acts like Nicole from Class 09? Like all the things that happened to her but g/n?
Okay, I got that idea after I start thinking over that request. I slightly changed it. I hope, you are okay with that, and I apologize in advance.
Masks we were forced to wear
Sort of! Self-Aware! Yosano Akiko x GN! Traumatized! Reader
Description: Your past still haunts you. You just want to escape.
Warning: English is my second language. AU - World of Tech-magical Progress. Film Industry Abuse (Reader are forced to be filmed, forced to act like Nicole) Mentions of heavy topics (drugs, shooting). Open finale.
You couldn't move. Medical restraints were keeping you in one place. Your body was shaking, you were sweating.
Wet cloth were put on your forehead. Through pain and foggy gaze, you see Yosano.
Doctor had bags under her eyes. She whispered.
"Don't worry, [Y/N], we will go through it together."
You breathe through your nostrils. It has only been two days, since your treatment started, and you already wanted to quit it. But, you knew, that they won't let you go back.
Because they cared. For some reason, they cared about someone, like you.
__________
This world was full of magic, technology and progress. Every aspect of everyday life and tied with hundreds of magitek gadgets.
Teleports, machines that make food out of water, holographic screens...
And Restarter... The "Holy Grail" of Entertainment Industry.
Years of research. Years of building. Years of magic power flowing into the mechanism.
And it was done.
Mechanism, that will scan a person, save information, and, after said person would put into Restarter's cabin, revert them to the state, described in saved information.
What kind of sick bastard thought, that this thing should be used to make films more realistic, instead of putting it into hospitals?
It all started small.
Real bruises and scratches, instead of makeup. Real tattoos.
It was only a matter of time, before they will go further.
__________
That TV Series supposed to be progressive. To show, how terrible schools can be. How terrible teachers can be. How terrible students can be.
And you were a mane star.
You had some similarities with the main caracter. Your families had a similar past, your older brother was a lazy man, who couldn't care less about anyone, besides himself, and you, while not as bad as the main, character, you could be a jerk sometimes.
Everything changed, when filming started.
Countless failed scenes. Days, spend in a studio.
Being chocked, shot, drugged...
And every day was ended in a cramped cabin of Restarter.
It could reverse your body injuries.
It could never reverse your mind.
___________
You hated everyone.
Your fellow actors, director, producer, operator, your mother, your brother, your father, fans of the series.
You hated, that you can't quit, that you were forced to go through borderline torture in studio, that you were forced to acts a sociopath before fans.
Because that's what people want to see. Because Restarter will undo the damage. Because you have no reason to complain, shut up, and bring your mother another paycheck...
You stopped care. If you had some sympathy in you, it was buried deep inside you by years of "industrial abuse".
You were forced to wear a mask. And, after all this year's, remains of it still clung to your face.
When you finally became eighteen, you took last paycheck, broke the contract and left the country.
__________
You avoid talking to people as much as you can.
You stopped watching anything, that have real-life actors. You stuck to animation and drawings.
The world was full of sick people. And you were the sickest among them.
__________
When BSD Cast appeared before you, you thought, that time, you get some strong painkillers. However, no hallucination can be warm and try to take away the bottle of pills from your hands.
Yosano can be surprisingly strong.
_________
Your head hurts. You just got a bunch of information dumped on you. You spoke up.
"You... You are mistaken... I am not a hero... I am not a good person... I... can't care about real people, including myself.... I... still care about you all.... But... I could stop..."
You looked up at them.
"You heard me ranting about my past, right? You knew what you will deal with... I can give you money, I still get royalties. But, please... Leave. Don't sink with me."
Everyone was quiet. Then Naomi spoke.
"Tea. You promised Kirako and I drink tea together. Are you... care about us enough to fulfill this one promise?"
You wanted to snarl at her, but get over it. You were hungry. You can keep yourself and have one tea party.
You slowly nodded and stand up.
"Fine. I will bring the cattle..."
You turn on your heels.
You made step forward kitchen.
Something sharp pricked your neck.
And world became black.
____________
🐾 And long month of treatment started. Yosano explained, that they can't just leave you in that state. They will cure you, made few visits to your “colleges”. And, after justice is served and you are healthy, they will leave.
🐾 For months, you were under constant watch. For months, you were getting news about your family, director, actors and everyone, who were involved, being exposed for various crimes.
Restarters were banned.
What you needed all this years ago finally happened.
And BSD Cast always were near.
Taking care of you, getting psychological help to you.
Trying to bring [Y/N], the real person back from the stink mess, called [Y/N], The Lead Actor, playing the role 24/7.
You finally felt emotions again.
_________
You opened your mouth, letting Naomi feed you another spoon of porridge. Yosano was checking the results of the blood test.
"Your test is showing better results, then the test from last week. It is good. Soon, you will be healthy."
You opened your mouth. Before Naomi could feed you again, you spoke.
"Just... Just leave me... Find a better person to stay with..."
Your voice was soft again. But, you knew, that you couldn't truly become how you were, before the filming.
Yosano raised an eyebrow.
"Do you really want it? Or did you change your mind?"
You didn't answer.
_______
It was over.
You got justice. Your health became better.
You were standing before BSD Cast, like a year and a half ago.
And you finally have an answer about the future.
Stay... Or leave....
You opened your mouth.
And tell them about your decision
_________
A/N: Reader's choice is up to you. Did they stay? Or did they leave?
#self-awarebsd#self-awareau#bungou stray dogs au#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd anime#bsd x gender neutral reader#gender neutral reader#Self-Aware Yosano Akiko
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Me after watching She-Hulk trailer: I don't know, I'm not sure... I'm getting weird vibes from this so I'm going to wait...
The criticisms appearing on my dash:
A woman telling a man with a ton of trauma that she had it worse than him because she's a woman
Mistreatments of the CGI team
A woman not being able to demonstrate ugly emotions like rage and anger disguised as "women just know how to deal with their emotions better"
Acephobia
Me: Well... I'm going to skip this one...
#she hulk negativity#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#marvel rant#I'm ace so just the acephobia is too much for me#I would have such a bad time seeing the scene described#who wrote this ???#I was so hype when they announced it#disappointing
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(brianna anon) AND ANOTHER THING… i would die to see dustfinger and roxanes first meeting, them as a young couple, their wedding!?!? their (brief) life with their daughters… it must have been the sweetest thing 🥲
you and me both omg. i'm ngl! i don't do fanfiction but i absolutely imagine all of these scenarios like pretty regularly. cornelia said she wants to do a prequel book at some point after tcor (right? i didn't hallucinate that did i? (i just spent altogether too much time double -checking that and i did not but dang #queenofselfgaslighting)) and it's supposed to be about dustfinger and the prince but come on. roxane and their family too??? please????
#i wasn't taking notes per se in this readthrough but i was like. /making note/ of all the things that mo and fenoglio#said were in the in-book inkheart novel#and first of all what the fuck even went on in that book fr#how is capricorn the main character but we know all about these side characters he would absolutely have never have paid attention to#or all the places mentioned?? why would capricorn go to the castle of salt wtf#why does capricorn's book describe dustfinger and roxane meeting for the first time lmao#but second of all mo says the book mentions brianna only briefly and says her name once so unfortunately#i headcanon that's because either 1) when the fire raisers are trying to torture (?) info out of dustfinger in the scene mo reads them out#he begs them not to kill him for bri's and rosie's sakes#or 2) when he dies at the end his last thoughts are either apologies to them or grief at never seeing them again#all of which are Bad#the second would kinda work better bc fenoglio won't fking shut up about how dramatic and touching dustfinger's death scene is#and fenoglio doesn't like animals but he DOES have kids so i would imagine he'd write a better death involving children#than one simply being sad over a wild ferret yk#inkheart#says kenna
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𝒮𝒶𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝒸𝑒 ˖ ׁ .ᐟ
૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა ‧₊˚ ꒰ྀི it was a tempting offer he offered you, I mean you were practically useless at everything and he was your saving grace. So it would be fair to accept it right? ꒱
ᥫ᭡ ⋆ﾟ⊹ ꒰ྀི pervy nerd alhaitham x loser!ftm!reader ꒱ — ( college au ﾉ dom/sub dynamics ﾉ bottom male reader ﾉ dom alhaitham ﾉ consensual ﾉ fingering ﾉ you pronouns ﾉ transmale anatomy ﾉ used of boy-cunt, boy-pussy, pussy, cunt, ﾉ slight degration ﾉ slight praise ﾉsquirting ﾉ reader being described as smaller than alhaitham ) — 1.7k wc 𐂯 ‧₊˚
૮꒰ྀི∩ ∩ྀི꒱ა ゙ ✿ angel notes ! . . . i want him so bad fr
fem aligned & mdni blogs dni.
“uhmm… s- so how do we do the project?” alhaitham looked under him, there was a male that seemed to be trembling. (Name) knew he was fucked, he knew he was fucked when the teacher called his name and alhaithams to be partners. Alhaitham looked at him with a strict gaze making the boy flinch. (Name) is scared of him solely because well (name) sucked at everything. Sports, academics, or anything else and Alhaitham? He's practically good at everything.
(Name) is a loser whilst alhaitham was on top of the food chain. Thus the reason why (name) is scared of him, alhaitham closed his book as he looked at (name) directly in the eye making him awkwardly smile, “meet me in the library, exactly later at 5pm, don't think about getting late,” (name) vigorously nodded his head as alhaitham took his back and left the class. The smaller male let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. “That was so scary…” he muttered to himself pretty shaken up.
Meanwhile with alhaitham he couldn’t help but let out a perverted like smirk as he looked down at his book, fuck the scared looked you just had. The awkward smile and the eyes looking everywhere just to not look at him, so cute. You just looked so tender and delicate. A sore loser in the corner of the room and him, an intimidating nerd. He blushed a little bit remembering how he looked intensely on your neck whilst in class. It looks so flawless he just wanted to mark it as if it’s his own territory.
That’ll scare you for sure, oh god you just don’t know how he wanna recreate the erotic scenes he has read in his erotic book. It may look like he’s reading something intelligent but no, it’s just the cover. You don’t know how many erotic books he has read and imagine the two characters as you two. How he will practically drool at how the words explained in great detail about how two of the character fucked imagine it was him doing those filthy things on you. Such a cute loser all for him. So cute and so small fuck he’s drooling again. Swiping away the drool he continued to walk to his next class excited about the time you two will meet. Whilst you dread he seemed to be ecstatic.
Hours passed, classes were done and now you're here in the empty library all on your own. Everyone seemed to have gone home or in their dorm. The library seemed to be empty as you hugged your backpack tightly. You almost looked like a sad wet kitten waiting for its owner to come back. A loud thud echoed in the room, it was al haytham and a lot of books in the table were placed he looked down at you. “Go on, do your research.”
His commanding voice said, making you immediately pick up one of the books and start reading the book, as you continued your research. Alhaithams eyes are practically glued on you looking at your hand how your fingers hugged that bag of yours earlier, would you hug him tightly if he pounded on you? ah fuck, he feels himself getting hard. He sigh irritatingly which made you mistaken he was irritated at you. You ducked your head on the book as he smirked seeing this. How adorable it was for you to hide your head like that like an adorable animal trying to hide from danger.
“hmm…” he hummed as he thought, slowly he started creeping up behind you as he wrapped his hands on your waist, “listen.” You stopped reading as you felt his hands on your waist, you squealed as you glanced behind him, as he smirked even more. It was such a cute display it's so cute, “I’ll do all the work you’ll just let me have your way on you. Is that a good deal?” You furrow your brows thinking of this offer. You blushed slightly thinking about what he will do to you but the offer was tempting, you having to do nothing. This was the last project on chemistry, and maybe with this you can take back your continuous low grades on it. if you just… but isn’t this considered wrong… you tried to rationalise you really did but what broke the straw was, “cmon… I know your suffering from your grades just let me do all the work and be a good boy for me,”
You gulped as you slowly nodded your head, “o- okay, I accept,” you said as you blushed at your words, alhaitham chuckled as he whispers in your ear, “good boy,” with that his hands starts to roam around your body, as he slowly lift up your shirt. “ehh? w- wait someone will—“ you try to reason with him but he only chuckled as he touched your flat chest, admiring the scars to it, “look at this so cute~” he admire it as he starts to slowly circle his fingers around your nipple making you flinch at this.
You let out a whimper as he starts to play with your nipples pinching and circling it making him chuckle, “your so sensitive its almost too adorable,” he whispers as you let out quiet moans, your whole body trembling on how good he played with them. “nng.. ha- ah! ha- haitham… please someone will—“ he stopped playing with your nipples as he took you up to the table making you face him.
“shhhh be quiet or else do you want people to know?” he whispers as his hand trailed over your pants slowly taking it off letting it dangle beneath your feet, revealing your wet core. You looked away feeling your face hot as he chuckled seeing your reaction, his hands slowly making their way to your clit. Rubbing it makes you arch your back, putting a hand on your mouth before you let out a mouth. “Hmm… it seems its not ready yet… let's prepare it more shall we?” your eyes widen at his words as he slowly slid one of his fingers inside.
He groaned as he felt your warm walls hugged his fingers tightly, his thumb pressing down to your clit rubbing it gently as you couldn’t help but moan helplessly completely under his spell. You laid yourself on the table panting and moaning so shamelessly, the way his fingers thrust inside you hitting all your sensitive spots and his thumb pressing down on your clit making you more sensitive. How his kisses on your skins taste so sweet. It's as if he knew your body all this time.
“nng… haah! ah… h- haitham.. someone will nng~! ♡'' you arch your back as he pressed another sweet spot of yours making your boy-pussy flow with more juices on his finger, he smirked as he continued to give hickies on your chest, stomach, neck and more. God this was too good to be true. “ahh.. ‘s good… feels so good haah.. ah~ ♡'' he hummed giggling, “mmhm, just like that~ let yourself go,” with a final finger thrust your back arches as you came. Panting as you looked at the ceiling in a daze.
Alhaitham looked at your daze expression with a smirk amused at how adorable you look, its just what he imagined. How you would look like a drooling mess underneath him so cute, so dazed so out of it. Too bad he didn’t came yet. His dick throbbed seeing your wet wet boy-cunt, its begging to be fucked at this point. Slowly he took off his pants as he placed his hands on your hips. You looked up at him in confusion though your eyes widen seeing his hard throbbing cock, “h- huh?” before you could utter a word he slammed his hard cock inside of you. Impaling you with his cock.
Your tongue lolled as your back arches moaning as you’ve been filled up with such a huge cock before, “ughh! ah… haah~ ♡'' your eyes turned to hearts as you looked up so out of it. Alhaitham groaned feeling your warms hugged his cock so tightly, its as if asking to not let go at all, “such a tight boy-pussy fuck… I should’ve fuck you long time ago if you were this pent up,” he groaned as he starts moving, his fast and hard pace suprised you as you gripped on the wooden table moaning helplessly.
“nng… ahh! t- too fast! fuwaah… so- someone will hear… sl- slow down please! ah~ ♡'' you moaned helplessly gripping on the wooden table alhaithams hand gripping your hips hard as he placed your ass up, your back arches as your boy-pussy spasm on his cock. Alhaitham let out guttural moans as he continued to thrust inside of you, “f- fuck… such a tight boy-cunt fuck just for me…” he whispers as he kissed your neck as you hugged him tightly your hands gripping on his back creating scratches.
“nng~ haah! ah! please.. t- too much! too big!” you whined as his cock hit all your deepest parts, it bulging through your stomach as alhaithams bites and kissed your neck continuously. “Shhh~ just take it like a good slut would ya?” he says mockingly your boy-pussy clenching at his dirty words nodding as you babble more incoherent words, “ah.. nng! mm… haah! fuwah! ha- haitham! ah~ ♡'' you moaned his name like a mantra as he groaned, continuing to thrust inside your spasming boy-pussy gripping on your hip that’ll surely leave a mark.
Lewd squelching sound filled the empty the library as you try to warn him that you about to cum but you couldn’t due to the overwhelming pleasure your back arched as you looked up, your pussy squirting all over his cock as his eyes widened at this. You just squirted, you squirted. With a few final thrust he groaned as he cums inside of you, filling you up. You sigh tiredly as you pant.
“fuck… I should fuck you more often,”
He said in a serious tone, making your eyes widen, he smirked, “don’t worry I’ll do everything for you so just be good ‘kay?”
#𓂋 ཐི❤︎ཋྀ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝒞𝐻𝐼𝒱𝐸𝒮 — ⩇⩇:⩇⩇#08.22.2023#bottom male reader#genshin imagines#genshin smut#genshin x reader#genshin x male reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x male reader#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham x male reader#alhaitham x male reader smut#alhaithm x reader smut#sub male reader#x male reader#male reader insert
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𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫! 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨
featuring. gojo satoru x reader
warnings. cursing
note. i thought of this when i saw a"rating celebrities i have met" video on tiktok, i imagined what gojo would be like as a celebrity — hence this fic. enjoy <;33 god i want to make actor! jujutsu kaisen a series so bad.
actor! gojo who first saw you during a fan meeting, and when you asked for a weird pose to do with him, he's immediately attached — like love at first sight?
actor gojo! who slips in his phone number when he was signing his picture that you asked him to sign, hoping that you, his very own fan would actually text him. because, he genuinely wants to get to know you better.
actor! gojo who receives a text from you during the night, and the first text he receives from you was a "is this a prank? if it's not, i'm going to roll on the ground and cry. if it is, i'm sorry you had to see this text." and he decided to play with you by saying it's a joke — but stopped when you actually believed in him.
actor! gojo who finds it funny that you still don't believe that the gojo satoru is texting you, so he decided to video call you to make you believe in him (you ended the call immediately and blocked his number for a bit after, only unblocking him when you got your head straight).
actor! gojo who eventually got to know you better, slipping in the time to video call you or voice call you during breaks in his busy schedule. sending you your cravings out of the blue, or even bouquets of your favorite flowers.
actor! gojo who will use his empty schedule to come and meet you — taking you out to eat or just spend the day in your home, or his apartment. even exhausted, he still wanted everything to work out with you, so he would do anything; even if most of the time, the both of you ended up napping together.
actor! gojo who sends selfies of himself or a short video of himself during his schedule so you could know what he was doing — pointing out the most unnecessary things in the video, like how he saw a cat (then taking a picture or video of the cat to send to you), or even telling you how he finished the shoot in a short amount of time, wanting you to be proud of him.
"hi! i just did a scene, and there was this really cute kitty — look, i named him tuxedo, 'cause his fur looks like a suit. isn't he cute? what do you think if i brought him home with me, i think you'd like him!" he said, panning the camera to the said cat, caressing its fur gently.
actor! gojo who checks his phone every time after a take in his shoot to see if you had replied to him, and when he sees your notification, he gets so motivated to do his shoot. and when you don't, he's pretty upset. he turns into a big baby and asks everyone in the set what it meant if someone replies late, he is so dramatic.
actor! gojo who if asked about his ideal type during interviews, mentions and describes your personality and looks. and everyone won't know that he was talking about you, he sees people talking about how specific his words are and speculates that he was seeing someone.
actor! gojo who trended on social media after that particular interview and the account who first speculated how specific his description is, and now the whole world is saying he has a secret lover or is dating backstreet.
actor! gojo who then receives a text from you asking about if he was seeing someone because of his trending name. and he decided to ask you out for good — telling you that it was you he was describing, and he would be glad if you'd go out with him.
[ you ] : you're trending omg
[ gojo satoru ] : i know :D
[ you ] : but now that i rewatched the video, it does seem like you're describing someone, who is it? 😏
[ gojo satoru ] : idk if you're nonchalant or you're just pretending not to know :/
[ you ] : ???
[ gojo satoru ] : it's you, silly. i'm describing you to the world, so now that i've said that — can i please be your boyfriend?
actor! gojo who immediately drives his way to your house when you said yes to him being your boyfriend; he had been holding back the urge to kiss you, holding you close, so when he's yours — he just has to have you close to him.
actor! gojo who was a little upset when you said you wanted to keep the relationship a secret from the world so his fans wouldn't be mad at him. but he accepted it, as long as you're comfortable.
actor! gojo who makes it clear to people on set, including his make up artist, and even director that he now has a partner; and that he's madly in love. everyone on set listens to him talk about you every single day, gojo is so lovestruck that he can't stop talking about you, telling people on set how great you are and how deeply in love he is with you.
actor! gojo who still slips in random selfies and videos of him during work so you won't overthink, he will tell you what he's about to do and with who even if you didn't ask — he didn't want to keep his partner waiting for him, he's communicative to what he's about to do so you won't worry.
actor! gojo who brings you out on a date to a fine dining restaurant one night and it turned out to be the gravest mistake ever when he finds his name trending the very next day, all for the wrong reasons.
actor! gojo who's first worry is you when he was trending. half of his "fans" were bashing the mysterious person (you) off, saying the most mean things ever, and half of his fans were happy that gojo was on a date with you, telling him how they're really happy that he's out on a date despite his busy schedule.
actor! gojo who makes sure you're alright first, telling you how you should never listen to whatever his "fans" are saying — because they're definitely not right, and they're just jealous. he tells you that he will resolve everything, so you don't have to worry about anything.
actor! gojo who clarifies, by quote retweeting a tweet that was meant to hate on you — clarifying that he's married to you (even if he's not), and that you're his partner. he EMPHASIZES on how he's not hesitating to sue anyone who delivered hate, and he's personally keeping track on the usernames of people who had made a hate towards you (he jots them down and screenshots them).
and most of these account decided to deactivate right after his open clarification. losers.
actor! gojo who then made a proper clarification by saying that he is indeed in a relationship with you and that you're his spouse (not yet), and he told the whole world how he won't hesitate to take legal actions to whoever decided to mess with him, his personal life, or you.
actor! gojo who was happy when most of his real fans supported both him and you, and tell you both how happy they are. he giggles and kicks his feet reading the comments about how you both are definitely going to last, and how you both will be the best couple ever. he screenshots them and make an album just for these comments, showing them to you to reassure you that everything was going to be fine. you were going to be fine. you both were going to be fine.
actor! gojo who was asked about you during interviews and he gets so happy and smiley that he gets to show you off in front of the camera, telling everyone how deep in love he is, and how you treat him like the best person in the world. the video went viral and people were so envious of you.
"oh, my spouse? best. person. ever. i met them during a fan meeting, yes. they were a fan of mine — i could say it was love at first sight, i look at them and i just knew i wanted to marry them."
people then began to believe that they have a chance with their own idols, most of them making this a meme, and they use gojo as one of those tiktok standards videos.
actor! gojo who still sends you selfies and videos after a long time of dating, never breaking the routine. even when he has a schedule out of the country — he still makes time for you, engaging in video calls and voice calls despite the time zones, sends you the sweetest voice mails when he can't do a call and brings you the best souvenirs ever.
actor! gojo who casually assumes that you both are married since the first time you both got caught — he bought you a ring, and just slips it on you, telling you that you're both now married. and you casually accepted, you both had your own moment, made the official marriage certificate without anyone knowing. and the next second, he just announces to the whole set who knew about his "clarification" that he's actually, for real, honestly, married to you. and he tells them his clarification wasn't just a lie to get out of the situation.
actor! gojo who posted your face for the first time in his social media after so long, and he trended again. this time, with you. the fans were so happy, he gets so happy when his fans compliments you — and he happily retweets and reposts every single thing they say about you. he's such a proud husband.
actor! gojo who mentions your name whenever he wins an award, once again telling the whole world how he wouldn't be able to make it until now without you by his side. and how he's so thankful that you're always there even during his toughest times. he has a habit of ending his award speech with a: "y/n l/n, you're the love of my life, i love you. mwah."
a fan of his made a compilation of his ending speech for you, and posted it on twitter, which of course, went viral.
actor! gojo who constantly posts you and writes about you on his social media with the cheesiest captions ever, and people were down for it. telling you how lucky you are to have a husband like him, and gojo always replies back by saying he was the lucky one.
actor! gojo who finds out you read fanfictions about him when you miss him, he pokes fun at you for it — but finds you really cute, then you both make it a routine to read fanfictions of him.
"oh, i would totally do that. how did they even come up with these? they're really good at this," gojo laughs, laying his chin on top of your shoulder as you scrolled your phone.
actor gojo! who gets so happy when you come to visit him on set, and gets so motivated because you were there real time to see him on the act. and spends his break with you, the crew on set gets so disgusted by him and posts about how gojo acts around you on social media — and the fans are finding it hilarious, they ask the crew for more information about gojo and you.
actor! gojo who definitely brings you to red carpet awards, wanting you to be there with him. asking the paparazzi to take many pictures of you so that he could save them, and they do. taking your pictures from different angles, posting them on social media so gojo could save them.
actor! gojo who refuses acts where he has to kiss another actor/ress, he didn't mind holding hands or hugging. but when it comes to locking his lips with another person who is not you — he won't do it. even when you tell him that it was fine since it was his job, gojo still refuses, and directors would go lengths as long as gojo will act for them, cutting out the kiss scenes and settling for something less intimate.
actor! gojo who sometimes get caught by paparazzi when he's on the way to visit you or when he's buying a gift for you. telling the paparazzi they shouldn't upload the pictures until a specific date when he's planning to surprise you, and the paparazzi agrees (sometimes), but when some of them uploaded the pictures right on the same day, he gets so upset that they ruined his surprise for you.
actor! gojo who protects you from shameless paparazzis, not hesitating to tell them off in front of the camera for you. because, let's all be real, most paparazzis could be a pain in the ass, they could be awful, and they could be really persistent.
"hey, back off from them. i'll fucking hurt you if you get closer, understand?" and these paparazzi will taunt him for it, but gojo could care less about them, he only cares about your safety.
"i'll ruin your fucking camera, y'piece of shit. don't you fucking dare touch my spouse, i'm serious." he mutters out, pushing away a man who had undoubtedly came rushing over, trying to get you out of the way so he could picture gojo.
actor! gojo who makes it clear that he won't tolerate people being hurting you at all. and he won't be afraid to take a risk to hurt them back for you.
actor! gojo who will sacrifice his job for you. because on camera and behind camera, all he thinks about is you.
© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#fluff#jjk#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#actor gojo#gojo#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo fluff#satoru x reader#satoru gojo#satoru x you
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The Monday Pursuit
Pairing: Derek Morgan x Female Reader
Synopsis: The three times Derek tries to find out your name, and the one time he finally gets it. Or, the story of four different Mondays that Derek spends on the pursuit of your name.
Warning(s): shy!reader, cursing, public confrontation (verbal and physical) with a douchebag, verbal and physical threats, talks of killing someone, name-calling, protective derek, a bit of damsel in distress situation, and that's it really. this is just tooth-rotting fluff 💞
Word Count: 4300-ish
Author's Note: I FINALLY POSTED A DEREK ONE SHOT! YAY! I was toying around with the idea of making this a series of connected one shots, each one focusing on the significance of a particular day (tuesday, wednesday, thursday, etc) in the progress of your relationship. does that sound like something you guys would be interested in? tell me what you think! plsss!!! don't forget to leave a LIKE+COMMENT+REBLOG
Criminal Minds Masterlist
Derek noticed you on a Monday.
He couldn't count how many times his eyes had swept over you absentmindedly in the past few weeks. None of them ever lasted long enough for him to linger around, but somehow, this particular Monday was different.
It was different because the moment Derek's gaze drifted towards the direction where he would usually find you, he finally noticed that you were gone.
It was ironic in a way, how he only noticed you in the wake of your absence. But somewhere in the ruckus that his favorite coffee shop would whirl into every morning, Derek had begun associating the table in the corner of that place with you.
Even then, when someone else was occupying the seat at the end of his long stare, Derek could picture the scene in his head: your laptop on the table, a cup of steaming hot coffee in your hand, and a serious but adorable crease on the center of your forehead. Those three things stood out from the rest. Perhaps if he had the same eidietic ability as Spender Reid, Derek could list more details about your habits and person. Nonetheless, somewhere in his subsconscious, Derek's memories must have deemed you important enough to keep, and that was all it took for him to wonder what about you was so goddamn special.
His fog of reverie was soon broken by an interrupting voice, "She's out of town."
Derek turned his head to see one of the barristas giving him a sly smile. "Excuse me?"
"The writer. She's out of town."
"Writer?" Derek didn't know that. "She's a writer?"
"On the side. She's in grad school," the barrista said. "She has two books out and another one pending publication. She's in New York right now for a book signing."
The word impressive promptly filled Derek's mind, and judging by the barrista's expression, it seemed that the word had translated unmistakably on his face, too.
"You know, you shouldn't give out someone's information to random people like that," Derek warned.
"I don't usually, but I thought, since you're FBI..."
The surprise in Derek's eyes couldn't be more palpable. "How'd you know?"
"Dude, you've been around a while." The barrista shrugged. "Besides, I don't think she would mind."
Derek frowned.
"She likes you," the barrista revealed once they saw the confusion settling on Derek's face.
"What?"
"She's got a bad crush on you, didn't you know?"
"Uh, no?"
"Huh." The barrista put down the cup containing Derek's order on the counter. "I thought you knew. She was so obvious. I mean, I'm not sure how she hasn't burned through the back of your skull with how hard she always stares."
Flabbergasted couldn't even begin to describe what Derek was feeling. His curious eyes flicked momentarily towards your table before he addressed the barrista again, "She's a friend of yours?"
"Hell yeah, she is." The barrista smiled. "That's why I know she's got it bad for you."
Being admired wasn't exactly something new for Derek, so he struggled to comprehend why the thought of you crushing on him had triggered a wave of heat to travel up and down his body.
"What's her name?" Derek asked, trying to sound casual and nonchalant as he picked up his cup of coffee.
The barrista grinned smugly. "I thought you told me not to give someone's information to a random person like that?"
With that said, the barrista went to attend to another customer, leaving Derek to curse over his excellent ability to dig up his own hole.
You were back in town the following week.
When Derek walked into the coffee shop the next Monday, he immediately found you huddled up in your usual seat. For one split second, Derek saw you looking up from your laptop, your eyes locking with his from across the room. But before he could offer a smile, you averted your gaze as if you couldn't wait to get away from him.
That thought didn't conjure well in Derek's mind.
Derek proceeded to give his usual order and waited by the counter. However, when he saw a plate of blueberry muffin being placed next to his cup to go, Derek glimpsed up in confusion at the awaiting smirk on your friend's--the barrista's--face.
"I didn't order this."
"No, you didn't. But do you know whose favorite dessert it is?"
Derek casted a glance towards your direction.
"Exactly." The barrista grinned wider. "Now, go. It's on the house."
The loud drumming inside Derek's chest should have been laughable.
He was never like this. Derek was always self-assured, especially when it came to flirting and courting, so there really was no reason for him to be feeling like this. But something about you had spiked the rhytmic beating in his chest, and Derek didn't like being out of his element when there was a pretty girl at stake.
Thus, with an ease born out of years of practice, Derek worked to turn on his good ol' charm. The same one that dripped from his footsteps as he sauntered over your table with his coffee in one hand and one special plate of blueberry muffin in the other.
Deer caught in headlights; that was exactly the perfect description to visualize how you looked when Derek finally placed the muffin on the table. The man smirked triumphantly at the knowledge that he affected you just as much as you affected him.
"Hey," Derek greeted almost complacently. "I heard this is your favorite."
"What? I don't.... how did you..."
You stopped speaking altogether, sending a grimace to the direction of the counter--where your friend was working--when you deduced what could probably have transpired
"I missed you last week," Derek added.
If you were abashed before, then you must have been mortified when those words slipped out of Derek's lips. You looked up at him with a gaping mouth, and Derek would have laughed at how precious you looked if he didn't have compassion for your poor nerves.
"I was out of town," you eventually managed to say.
"I heard. A writer, right? You had a book signing." Derek smiled. "That's impressive. Anything of yours I might know?"
Your face contorted after hearing his question. "I doubt it. I'm not big at all."
"I don't know. Book signing in New York? Sounds pretty big to me."
"Not as much as you would expect, to be honest."
Derek didn't know why, but he despised the sound of you downplaying your own accomplishments as if they weren't worthy of being praised. He swore he would assist in changing that tendency if given the chance.
"My name is Derek. Derek Morgan."
"I know."
Derek raised a curious eyebrow.
You cowered shyly when you realized what you had admitted. "I heard you mention it a while ago, when you were ordering."
"And you remember?"
Your bashful expression nearly compelled Derek to cheer out loud.
"Do you need something?" you finally asked, not at all mean or bitter, more timid than anything else.
"Yes. I was wondering if I could ask for your name."
"My name?
Derek nodded. "Well, you see, I wanted to ask for your number, but I figured since I still don't have your name yet, then maybe I should get around to it first."
You bit your bottom lip, seemingly in deep thought as you assessed Derek with soft eyes.
"My name is--"
Just as the answer was dangling on the tip of your tongue, Derek's phone suddenly started to ring. He internally cursed his life for its partiality to bad timings, holding up an apologetic finger as he accepted the call without looking at the caller ID.
"Hello?"
"Hey, beefcake, where are you?" Penelope Garcia asked from the other end of the line. "Hotch just told everyone to be up and running in 30."
"What? I thought the briefing starts in 30."
"He's debriefing on the plane. Another body just turned up."
"Shit. Shit. Okay, fine, I'll be there."
Derek ended the call in the next second, panic clouding his mind to the point that he failed to realize he didn't bid his usual farewell to his favorite tech analyst. In front of him, you were staring with a pair of expectant eyes that made Derek wish he could stop time to spend it by your side. Alas, such power only existed in fantasy, and Derek--frankly--didn't have enough time at hand to pay grievance over that fact.
"I'm sorry."
Your face fell at Derek's apology, even if slightly.
"God, this sucks. I wish I could stay. I haven't even--"
"Derek, it's okay," you cut him off. "Just go."
"But you didn't--"
"Derek." Your hand on the table slid forward, as though wanting to reach out to him but stopped shortly before you did. "I'm always here."
It was such a simple statement. Three small words that carried hardly any weight on their own whatsoever. But strung together, Derek knew exactly what you meant, the real meaning behind the sentence you chose to say.
You can go. It's okay. We'll continue this some other time.
Reeling from your generous understanding, Derek rushed a goodbye before sprinting towards the door. But just as he was about to touch its handle, he span around for one last look, calling out a sentence that he had pocketed safely as a promise.
"I'll see you soon."
Since Derek's last encounter with you at the coffee shop, the BAU had been thrown from one case to another in the span of two weeks, during which Derek seemed to struggle eliminating the thought of you from the depth of his mind.
When a new Monday rolled around, Derek found himself whistling to a favorite tune as he took the morning route towards the coffee shop. The day was a gloomy one, gray and cloudy with a high chance of rain, contrasting entirely with the sunshine inside Derek's chest. In a few minutes, he would finally see you again, and Derek couldn't wait to woo you into agreeing on a date with him as his palm pressed on the door of the coffee shop.
Unfortunately, Derek's movements ceased the moment he stepped into the familiar establishment.
The atmosphere in the coffee shop struck no resemblance to what Derek had associated with the place: warm, safe, and welcoming. Instead, the taste of tension was hot on his tongue, sizzling under the thick silence that had rendered the entire room into a standstill.
In the middle of it all, just a few paces from where the front door stood, Derek had found you.
You were standing with your head down, which wasn't a strange sight considering that you often did that to avoid unwanted attention. But Derek never saw your lips quiver that way before, nor did he ever see your eyes blown so out of proportion in a telltale sign of fright.
Upon a further inspection of the room, Derek realized that he wasn't the only one whose eyes were trained on you. Every patron in the shop, including every worker behind the counter, was staring openly in your direction as well. He was a milisecond away from taking another step when the man in front of you started to scream out of the blue.
"Why aren't you saying anything? Are you fucking stupid?!"
The malicious words didn't sit well with the vituous bone in Derek's body. But it was seeing you flinch from the verbal onslaught that finally made Derek dash forward, putting himself as a shield between you and the insolent stranger.
"That's enough," Derek said as he tugged you behind his back.
The stranger looked up at Derek with an ugly scowl on his face. "Who the hell are you?!"
"If you have a problem, let's take this outsi--"
"I don't have a problem with you, dickhead. I have a problem with her!" Derek extended to his full height instinctively, trying to hide you from the brazen man. "Now, move. This is none of your fucking business!"
"It became my business the second you chose to disrupt everyone's morning," Derek countered. "Why don't you tell me what's going on here?"
"Why don't you ask your bitch, huh? She fucking started all of this."
"Fucking bastard."
Red clouded Derek's vision when he clenched the man's collar in his hand. All around him, the crowd erupted in a chorus of gasps. Satisfaction filled Derek's chest when he glimpsed the hint of fear in the man's eyes.
"I dare you to say one more word about her," Derek seethed. "I dare you."
"Derek." He felt your fingers then, twisting around a portion of his shirt, pulling desperately until Derek loosened his grip on the other man. "Please."
The douchebag stumbled dramatically when Derek finally discarded him to the side.
Derek span around, looking directly into your eyes for the first time that morning. "Are you alright, sweetheart?"
Instead of answering his question, you pushed past a frowning Derek, addressing the horrible man whose face was now crimson; either from rage or embarrassment, Derek didn't know. He didn't care.
"I'm sorry, sir." Your voice vibrated in the air. It wavered with a clear sign of tears. "I didn't... I wasn't thinking. I've caused you trouble. I'm sorry. And I apologize to everyone for ruining your day."
With that, you turned around and picked up your belongings that were scattered on the floor before dashing straight out of the door. Derek stared at your back until it disappeared from view.
"You better tell me what the fuck happened here," Derek fumed towards the man.
"You heard her. She fucked up, that's what happened."
"That's not true." A new voice arose. Derek turned his head to see your barrista friend standing behind the counter, their eyes flaming with anger.
"The poor girl spilled her coffee," another voice interjected. It belonged to an old lady who was standing at the very front of the line. "She didn't mean to, but it got all over his things. Then he just started screaming all kinds of stuff to her."
Derek closed his eyes before reopening them again, shooting daggers towards the man. "You're pulling this crap over a spilled fucking coffee?!"
The other man began to stutter. "She ruined important documents!"
"It wasn't even her fault," the barrista added. "He was too busy being on his phone to watch where he was going."
That last piece of information was the last straw for Derek.
He used his forearm to push the douchebag by the throat, slamming his back against the wall until the man gasped for air.
"You will never step foot in here again, do you hear me?" Derek pressed his elbow deeper into the man, stopping only when he started to nod frantically. "You don't come near this place, ever again. But most importantly, you don't come near her. I'm gonna fucking kill you if you do."
Derek let him go afterwards, ignoring the series of coughs that the man had fallen into while he marched towards the door.
"Don't even think for a minute that I'm gonna let this go!" the man shouted just as Derek was about to exit the coffee shop. "I'll be notifying the authorities about what happened here today. You'll see!"
The scoff Derek let out couldn't be more condescending. "Yeah, you do that. And when you do, tell them--" Derek reached into his pocket, pulling out his credentials before flashing it towards the man, "--the name's Agent Derek Morgan. FBI."
He slammed the door behind him.
Once outside, Derek's eyes darted around to find any trace of you in the midst of the morning rush hour. Eventually, he spotted the back of your head, walking away about a few feet ahead of him. Derek broke into a sprint almost immediately, squeezing himself in between the ocean of people, trying to catch up with you before realizing that he most like wouldn't be able to.
Just as he watched you turning a corner, Derek mourned the fact that he couldn't call out to you because he still didn't know your name.
It was the second Monday that Derek didn't see you anywhere in, or near, the coffee shop.
In total, it had been two whole weeks without you showing your face at the place, not even once. Your barrista friend was as clueless about your whereabouts as Derek was. He even had started coming into the shop at odd hours during the day, or whenever his schedule would allow him to, sometimes lingering for a few minutes in the morning just in case he would catch you walking through those doors.
You never did.
In a moment fueled by something akin to desperation, Derek found himself marching towards the office of Penelope Garcia. If there was anyone who could find you--who you were, where you were, and everything else about you--it was going to be the team's tech genius.
The tech analyst wasn't in the room when Derek entered, and as he found himself standing there--alone in the silence--Derek was confronted by how ridiculous he was being.
He couldn't understand why he was acting like this. Why the thought of never seeing you again managed to lure him into considering a breach of privacy. Derek had barely even talked to you, yet whatever brief interaction the two of you had so far was enough to affect him in ways that shouldn't be possible.
Derek decided to turn around and vacant the room before anyone could catch him lingering there like an idiot, but his steps fell short when he saw Penelope standing in the doorway.
"What are you doing here, Sugar?" Penelope questioned, her eyes squinting into a suspicion-filled look.
"Looking for you, of course," Derek lied.
"Derek Morgan, I didn't spend years working with the best profilers in the country to not be able to tell when someone is lying." Penelope walked towards her chair, making sure that she was settled comfortably before swiveling around to face Derek again. "Talk to me."
"Babygirl, there's nothing to talk about."
"Oh my God. It's about a girl."
How the fuck does she do that?
"Derek, you tell me right now every single thing about this lovely creature who has captured your heart, and I meant every single thing. What's her name? What does she do? Where did you guys meet? You guys are official, right? Because if not, then--"
"Okay, Blondie, pump your brakes," Derek interfered before Penelope could vomit the entire content of the Oxford dictionary. "There's no girl."
Penelope frowned. "There isn't?"
"No."
"But you want it to be?"
Derek couldn't give her an answer.
"Mister, you tell me what's going on right now, and don't leave out any details."
So, that was exactly what Derek ended up doing.
He told Penelope about you; about the little snippets of yourself that had infiltrated Derek's subsconscious without him even realizing it, about your first proper interraction where your smile looked more appetizing than the blueberry muffin he had put on the table, and about the incident that marked his last ever encounter with you.
By the time he wrapped the story up, Penelope's face was a heap of reactions.
"You know," the tech analyst finally said, "I can probably find her for you."
"I told you I don't want that, Sweetness."
"But why?!" Penelope nearly whined. "You like her, and her friend said she obviously likes you, too. What if you never see her again? Are you seriously just going to let your story end in what ifs?"
"Of course, I don't want that. But this is not how I want our story to start, too, if there is even gonna be one." Derek gripped Penelope's shoulder, squeezing affectionately. "Thanks for the offer, Babygirl, but maybe it just wasn't meant to be."
For the rest of that day, Derek threw himself into work in order to keep his head preoccupied with something else other than the images of you.
In a few hours, he had successfully completed all of the pending case reports that were piling on his desk. A quick glance at the clock told Derek that he still had another three hours before he was supposed to go home. Sighing, Derek got up from his desk and walked towards the pantry.
"It's been four hours," Derek heard Emily say as soon as he walked towards the kitchenette. "What are they doing there?"
"She could be a reporter. Maybe she's interviewing him," Spencer theorized.
"Who's interviewing who?" Derek asked.
He headed for the coffee maker only to realize that there was no coffee left. Derek cursed under his breath before he went to make a fresh batch.
"Rossi has a guest, and they've been in his office for four hours," Spencer explained.
Derek raised an eyebrow. "Really? I didn't see anyone."
"She came in during lunch."
"Huh. A woman?"
Spencer nodded.
"Potential lover?" Derek asked again.
"I don't think so. She's young."
"Unless, he's that kind of guy." Emily smirked.
Spencer frowned. "What kind of guy?"
"I don't think Rossi's like that." Derek chuckled.
"Who is she, then?" Emily questioned.
"Is no one going to tell me what kind of guy Rossi is?" Spencer suddenly said.
"A student, perhaps? A fan? Who knows?" Derek shrugged. "Or maybe you were right. She's here to interview him."
"Oh! Here they come!" Emily exclaimed a few minutes later.
Derek turned to steal a glance at the guest that had captured his fellow teammates' interest. But just as he was about to catch a glimpse of her, Derek suddenly spilled hot coffee everywhere, flooding nearly half the counter until some of it dripped down the cabinets as well.
"Shit." Derek stared at the mess he had made in annoyance. "Fuck me."
"She's really pretty, though," Emily pointed out--no doubt about Rossi's guest--earning an agreeing hum from Spencer.
After he had cleaned up the spilled coffee, Derek ambled back towards the direction of his desk. As he was passing the glass doors to the bullpen, however, Derek saw Rossi standing in front of the elevator, waving towards the person who had just walked inside of it.
Someone who--as Derek realized with a particularly loud thump in his chest--turned out to be you.
Derek was barely able to place the steaming cup of coffee on a random desk before he made a run for the elevator. But just as he reached Rossi's side, the elevator's doors had closed, making you vanish once more from Derek's sight.
"Shit," Derek muttered. "Shit. Shit. Shit."
Beside him, Rossi was staring in open confusion. "Morgan?"
Derek finally turned towards the older man. "The girl who was in the elevator. Who is she?"
Rossi's forehead creased. "Why?"
"Do you know her?"
"She's a fellow crime writer. She was here for a consultation," Rossi answered. "Are you gonna tell me what's going on?"
"Her name. What's her name?"
"What the hell is going on, Morgan?"
"Rossi, come on, man," Derek sounded desperate, but he didn't care. "I just need her name."
Derek barely succeeded in mumbling a quick thank you to Rossi for giving him your name before he rushed straight to the emergency stairs. The entire run down to the lobby was a blur in Derek's eyes. The only focus in his mind was about getting to you.
Once he was outside of the headquarters building, Derek saw you walking a few paces ahead of him in the direction of the parking lot. He shouted your name with all of his might, seeing you stop and turn your body around from the distance, and soon enough, he had managed to close it in a matter of seconds.
Derek was a mess of panting breaths and drumming heartbeats when he finally stood in front of you. The look you gave him spoke of surprise and bewilderment, and Derek relished in the feeling of being at the receiving end of your lovely gaze.
"Derek? What? What are you--"
"I work with Rossi," Derek stated simply.
Your eyebrows escalated in surprise. "You do?"
"Yeah. I saw you earlier with him," Derek continued. "I haven't seen you in awhile."
For the first time in what felt like forever, Derek allowed his eyes to roam over your entire person, from the top of your head to the tip your toes. There was no malice in his stare as he did, just appreciation, and maybe a little bit of longing from not having seen you in such a long time.
"I haven't been to the coffee shop again. Not after--" you swallowed the lump in your throat. "I was embarrassed. I'm so sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart."
"You got dragged into my mess. I owe you an apology."
"You owe me nothing. Okay? What happened wasn't your fault. That man was just an asshole," Derek told you truthfully. "You don't have to be worried about him anymore. He's never coming back."
His last statement caused you to lift your head up so fast, Derek was scared you were going to have a whiplash.
"Nothing happened, sweetheart," he elaborated once he saw the panic in your eyes. "I just made sure to let him know that he wasn't welcome there anymore."
The breath you let out sounded eerily similar with relief.
"Thank you, Derek. For everything," you offered shyly. "Please tell me if there's anything I could do to make it up to you."
That last sentence you uttered prompted a wide grin across Derek's face. "Actually, there may be something."
Derek took a step closer towards you then, noting the way your shoulders tensed up from his proximity. His own senses were overcome by everything about you; from the slight parting of your lips, the steady rise and fall of your chest that seemed to be growing more rapid in Derek's presence, and to the sweet plus addictive smell of your perfume.
Taking his own deep breath, Derek forced the words--the same ones that he had been keeping deep inside of him--to tumble freely into the air.
"Would you like to go on a date with me?"
#derek morgan#derek morgan x fem!reader#derek morgan x reader#derek morgan x y/n#derek morgan x you#derek morgan fluff#criminal minds#criminal minds x fem!reader#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x y/n#criminal minds fluff#shemar moore#derek morgan imagine#derek morgan fic#derek morgan fanfiction#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid#emily prentiss#penelope garcia#david rossi
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I was curious how you manage to keep features consistent when you draw them? Do you use models? Is there a model for Crowley? He is very handsome.
I don't use models per se, but I sometimes keep files of photos or art that resembles the subject.
Crowley is based a bit on the French actor Alain Delon who was once considered the handsomest man in the world. He doesn't look exactly like Delon, but that is in my head when I draw him. I recall reading Neil and Mr. Pratchett once considered Peter Sellers for Crowley.
There is no reference for Aziraphale because he is entirely in my head and I can't really find anyone who looks exactly the way he does. I recall reading that Neil and Mr. Pratchett thought of Brian Dennehy at one point, but my head canon Aziraphale won. I think a Brian Dennehy Aziraphale would have been amazing, though. Anyway, he is actually kind of hard for me to draw because his facial structure is a bit outside my usual style. His face is a bit long and his eyes closer together than I normally do, and if I'm not careful, he slips away. He appears younger and more classically handsome as an angel than he does in his corporeal form, but I think he's quite fetching as a bookseller.
Michael Sheen is so perfect in this role it is really hard not to leak bits of his performance into the graphic novel edition, but I have to resist the impulse. I am not allowed to use any of the show actors as models.
I adore Michael Sheen. Who doesn't?
Adam is also a head canon character. He is a perfect young Greek God, so that's kind of drawing on a day with a Y in it for me.
The inspiration for Newt I'm keeping a secret. I submitted a number of sketches for Newt. The show Newt dug in deep and I had a hard time shaking him off.
The Them are based on kids I knew. They're in my head, I don't need any photos. They don't really look like the kinds in the show. The book version of Pepper, for example, is a freckled red-head.
Anathema is an amalgam of features that don't come from one person, which I think fits the description of the character. She's also unusual for me to draw but she's easier to draw than Aziraphale. I nail her every time.
Hastur is a caricature of the stereotypical English upper class you'd see in broadsheets 200 years ago. I have a file of pictures of Anthony Ashley-Cooper, 7th Earl of Shaftesbury for Hastur. I considered making Hastur more handsome in a Duke of Hell sort of way, but I think Hastur likes to be scary. I keep thinking of Peter O'Toole when I draw Hastur, too.
I feel kind of bad basing Hastur on Lord Ashley because he was a wonderful person and I'm sure he didn't go to Hell.
Ligur is a broad caricature of Danny Devito. I obviously can't use a DeVito portrait. That would be wrong. But I can tweak from there and come up with a general idea of the face I want to use.
Beelzebub and Metatron are head canon, and don't look a thing like they do in the show. I postulate some demons prefer to look like their angelic selves, and at other times prefer to be fearsome. Crowley can look fearsome when he wants, for example. In the book, Beelzebub appears as a young man in red flames.
Shadwell was drawn from reference at the direct suggestion of Neil.
Madame Tracy is based on a certain person, but no one you would have heard of. The original source might not be flattered, but I love Madam Tracy. She's really easy to draw because she's a bit over the top. I'm sketching around her scenes right now because I don't have final approval on some things yet. So she might need some changes later.
War is head canon, very easy to draw. She's a knockout. No reference required.
Famine looks a lot like Famine in the show, actually, but that's what Famine always looked like, pretty much. Except he has the grey eyes he has in the book.
Pollution is initially described as being a forgettable white guy, but later described as looking like a romantic poet, which strikes me as being memorable. Because he's only on one page in his forgettable white guy phase, I chose not to make major changes in his appearance between those panels and later when he appears as his true self, because that's a bit more confusing than it needs to be in the graphic novel edition. He's rather glamorous as the essence of Pollution, though. No reference needed.
Dog is a dog.
While I do give every detail a lot of thought, I am sure other people have other opinions. I understand that, and hope you enjoy what I do anyway.
Thanks for your question.
I'm still a bit under the weather, so may be stepping away from the net for awhile so I can concentrate on work. I have a lot of sick time to make up.
But don't think I don't appreciate your interest in the Good Omens graphic novel adaptation. Your wonderful support is acting on me like a tonic, let me tell you.
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This was originally going to be just a Sam one shot, but then i decided to make it a Sam and Colby one shot. I felt like Sam's cover was too good to change, so enjoy the buy one get one free deal lol.
Summary: Reader drives herself insane trying to think of this mystery man she cannot stop thinking about and completely caught off guard when there's two of them.
Warnings: SMUT18+, vampire!Sam, demon!colby, compulsion and mind reading from both Sam and Colby, mentions of blood and blood drinking, strong language, mentions of alcohol, reading feeling like they're going insane, hair pulling, biting, scratching, choking, fingering, oral (m&f rec), threesome w/ dp, dirty and cute pet names, unprotected sex, creampie, filth
Word count: 10.3k | NOT edited
Not a request
Bold italics are Sam and Colby speaking in readers head.Regular italics are scenes they create in her head & reader being compelled at times.
╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗
Have you ever tried moving on from something that hasn't necessarily happened, but no matter how hard you tried, you just can't?
Your mind, constantly replaying stuff in your dreams, random times throughout the day.
Hitting you when you least expect it?
Then, when you finally think you've gotten over it, gotten rid of the haunting thoughts, it comes back, stronger than it was before?
That was you. Right now.
You had this feeling of anxiety, feeling like something was going to happen. It's happened multiple times a day, even causing you to wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes gasping for air.
But, you can never remember your dreams and nothing ever happens.
You could never describe the feeling.
Your friends would ask if you're okay because you looked 'tired' or you said no to doing something you always have said yes to.
They knew something was up, and so did you, but you just didn't know what was causing you to feel like this so it was always 'I didn't sleep well last night' or some other lame excuse that they could see right through.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Your friend, Cami asks, "You've been, not sleeping well, for the last week or so." She tilts her head, "What's really going on?"
You take a deep breath, "I honestly.." you pause, leaning forward to set your coffee mug down on the coffee table, "If I tell you, you have to promise not to call me crazy."
She nods, leaning back against the couch, "Okay."
You pinch the bridge of your nose, "So besides me not sleeping well, I'll get to that in a sec, but it started last week, after we came home from Tara's party."
"Did someone h-"
You cut her off, "No. no. It's not that."
She sighs, "Oh fuck, okay good." She motions, "Continue. Sorry."
You bat the air, "When I came home I felt like I was forgetting something, but I had everything I took with. I also felt.. I don't know, almost guilty for going and having a good time? Like, almost like I shouldn't have gone? I'd don't know."
She furrows her brows, "That doesn't make any senses. I mean, I just.." she stops, "it sounds like you're feeling emotions you'd feel when you're with someone and you did something you know they don't like."
You shrug, "I mean, yeah. It kind of does feel that way, but at the same time if I really think about it, it still doesn't make sense. I mean, maybe I think about it way too much, but-"
She cuts you off, "Are you talking to anyone? Maybe someone who is a potential boyfriend and you felt bad for going out?"
You look up at her, "That's where it gets crazy."
She gives you a weird look, "Huh?"
"I feel like- okay. You promised not to call me crazy, so just.. hear me out." You stare at her and she nods and you continue trying to explain, "I feel like.. I already belong to someone."
She makes a face and you hold your hand up, "I know. I know. I just, I can't. I can't explain it really. I mean, I keep seeing this person in my dreams and it almost feels like they're who I'm-"
You shake your head, "That sounds absolutely fucking insane. I take back what I said, you can call me crazy."
You laugh, slightly embarrassed at what you just said.
This is the first time that you've actually talked about it out loud, and it sounds a lot crazier than you originally had thought.
"You're into reading books, right?" Cami asks and you nod, "Yeah, I'm actually reading one right now."
"What's it about?" She brings her legs up, moving the blanket to cover up. You purse your lips, "It's a darker romance book, so it's basically about a guy who comes at the most random times but he has a big secret and all that."
"What's he described as? Like what does he look like?" She brings her mug to her face and you shrug, "Um. I mean, like a normal looking guy. Slightly tall-ish. Blue eyes. At first he had brown hair, then he bleaches it to blonde, what does-"
"Who's the guy you see in your dreams?"
You stare at her, "Oh shit."
She chuckles, "I don't know about you, and now when I say this, I speak from experience because I'm sure we've all have done it, but it sounds like you're experiencing fictophilia."
"What the hell is that?" You laugh slightly at the last word she said, "fictophilia?"
She nods, "Yeah, it's where people, real people like us, fall in love with fictional characters in a book."
"Can it be as strong as taking over how you feel?" You ask, tilting your head, "Because when I tell you, I could have puked from feeling guilty that night, I was-" you hold up your thump and pointed, an inch from each other, "-This close."
She shakes her head, "No, I don't think it can cause that. I think you just drank a little, too much." She smirks, "Those back to back shots definitely had something to do with it."
You sigh, closing your eyes as you nod, "Yeah, yeah no. You're probably right. I'm just definitely over thinking about it."
"And the not getting sleep will definitely play a part in that. You need to take a nap. A real nap." She smirks, "and stop being delusional."
You roll your eyes, smirking as you nod, "Yeah, yeah. I know. But these fictional men, Cami. They'll getcha."
She nods as she stands up, "No I know. I watched a movie the other day and thought about the one character for three days straight."
"See. My point exactly." She laugh as you walk her over to the door. She turns, "I don't think you're crazy. Fictional characters happen to us all."
She leans in for a hug, "But if it gets to the point to where you tell me you're dating someone who isn't real, I'm funny farming your ass."
You laugh, leaning back as you look at her, "I won't put up a fight."
You close the door after she walks out, turning around to look at your empty apartment. You flick the lock before you walk over to the couch, sitting down to switch on the tv.
You put on the show you were watching and you can't help but think about your conversation with Cami.
It felt like so much more than what you told her.
It felt too real, but you really didn't want her to think you were losing it. That you were crazy.
But you felt it.
After multiple days of trying to figure out who the guy in your dreams is and not having any clue whatsoever is maddening.
Constantly telling yourself, I'm going crazy, each time you try hard to remember his face and about lose it because you can't.
You have a feeling that he wasn't just the guy in the book.
He was so much more than that, to you, in your head at least.
But, little did you know, that he was a creature who had such a pretty face, a dark, dark soul - along with his friend.
You shake your head, laying down and getting comfortable on the couch so you can try and take a well needed nap.
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
You reach over the counter, smiling at the barista, "Thank you." She nods, moving on to hand out the next coffee.
You walk away, heading towards the door. You go to push it open but stumble out when someone on the outside opens it before you.
"Oh, shit." The guy lays an arm in front of you, stopping your stumble. You stand up straight, looking up at the blonde.
He smiles slightly, "Are you okay? I'm sorry. I didn't see you coming out."
You nod, laughing slightly, "Y-yeah. Yeah I'm okay. Thank you for opening the door for me." You smile at him and he shrugs, "Call it fate."
A loud thump causes you to jump awake. You sit up, slowly turning to look back over the couch. You blink a few times, trying to get your vision used to the darkness of your apartment.
You call out slight groggy, "Hello?"
No answer.
Your phone ringing causes you to jump and you let out a sigh as you look at it. You debated on not answering, mainly because you seen the movies.
You know how it goes.
But it was cami, so you answer, "Hello?"
"Hey, a bunch of us are going out tonight. Wanna join?" She asks, "We're going to bar hop." You bite your lip, quickly turning around when you feel a presence off to your left, "Uh, yeah. Yeah."
"You'll come?" She asks, excitement seeping from her words, "Great. We can all just meet up in the parking lot of your place and we can walk to Bar Eight."
"That's fine with me. I need a shower, I just woke up from a nap." You stretch your arm above your head, "you can come over whenever. I'll be here."
"I have to finish getting ready, too but I'll be over within the hour."
"Okay." You nod to yourself, "See ya." You pull the phone away from your ear and stand up. You walk over to the lamp, switching it on and from the corner of your eye, you can see a figure disappear.
"Oh fucking hell." You rub your eyes and sigh. You mentally tell yourself that it's the sleep deprivation or that you just need to distract yourself.
Maybe having people stay over after a night out will help.
You walk to the bathroom, switching the shower on and it quickly fills with steam. You undress, stepping in and sighing as the hot water washes over your body.
It feels like hands slid over your shoulders and you zone out.
You're walking down the street with Cami, having a small conversation. You're oblivious to the people walking towards you on the left side of the side walk.
Someone runs into your shoulder, knocking your purse off. It falls to the ground and some of your things spill out.
As you bend down, what you assume, is the guy who bumped into you, bends down to help you.
"Here. Let me help."
You look up, tucking hair behind your one ear as your eyes meet a guy with dark hair and blue eyes, "Oh, um. Thank you."
He nods, handing you the strap of your bag, "No need, I should watch where I'm going more often."
You laugh slightly, "Yeah, that probably wouldn't be a bad idea." He stands up and holds his hand out. You felt oddly trusting of him, so you take his hand to stand up.
"I'm Colby." He smiles and you nod, "I'm y/n."
You turn around quickly, wiping the water from your face as you only remember the hands on your shoulders, "what the fuck!"
You pull the shower curtain back, peaking out as if that was the smartest thing to do, "Go away."
Nothing in response.
You lean back into the shower and fix the curtain before doing your routine. As you're rising the conditioner out of your hair, you feel like there's eyes on you.
Like someone is watching.
You finish up, quicker than you thought, and step out.
You tilt your head at the neatly folded towel on the corner of the counter and stare at it, "Did I do that?"
You think hard but can't remember.
You grab it, snapping it open so you can wrap up your hair and put the other one around your body. You open the bathroom door, and nothing else seems out of ordinary as you step out.
You turn, walking into your room and going to your closet. You shift through the hangers, finding a cute top and a pair of ripped jeans.
You toss the towel down, quickly getting dressed before taking your hair down.
A very faint, she's so pretty, causes you to snap your head towards the door, "Cami?" You slowly scrunch your hair in the towel and shake your head, it's just the tv.
After a while, there's a knock on your door and you get up to go open it, "Hey guys. Come in." You smile as Cami and your other friends walk in, greeting you with smiles.
"I just need to grab my bag then I'm ready." You walk into your room, grabbing your purse and turning to walk out when you suddenly stop.
You don't know why you stop, but you just do.
Your mind goes blank for a second and then suddenly you're walking back out to your friends like nothing just happened, "Okay. I'm ready."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
"So do you come here often?"
You try not to roll your eyes at the cringey, overused pickup line, "I mean.. kind of?" You laugh slightly and sip your drink, "I only live a few minutes away."
Why would you say that? You don't know him.
Your brows furrow, "That was weird."
"What was weird?" The guy still standing infront of you asks, making you realize that you now just thought out loud, "Um, nothing. Nothing sorry. Continue."
"No." He laughs, "I like weird shit, tell me."
You sigh, smirking slightly, "Do you ever.. how do I say this." He shrugs with a smile, "Just say it."
"Do you ever feel like there's someone in your head but it's not you?" The words roll off your tongue and you instantly regret it, "Wait. No. That sounds awful."
He shakes his head, "No I know exactly what you mean."
No he doesn't.
You close your eyes, "Almost like it's someone trying to talk to you, but it's just.." you laugh, "Confusing. Weird. I don't know."
The guy nods, "I'm so glad someone else thinks the same as me."
You smile and that feeling hits again. Like you shouldn't be there. Like you're about to be sick, which can't be from the alcohol, you've only had three so far and they weren't your usual double shots.
"If you'll excuse me I need to g-" you walk away, leaving your drink at the bar. As you're walking towards the bathroom, someone steps back from the bar, too quickly for you to dodge them.
You run right into them and sigh, "Excuse you."
"I'm sorry, sweetheart."
You look up and a blonde guy is standing there. Something about him causes your curiosity to spike, "No.. it's fine. I was just-" you shake your head, "I'm sorry, is this is weird, but do I know you?"
He shrugs, "My name's Sam."
"Sam. Sam. Sam." You repeat to yourself a few times quietly, "No, sorry. I don't think I know a Sam."
"Hmm. Well maybe we can call it fate that you just happened to run into me like you did." He smirks and for some reason, his words cause you to straight up your posture, "first off, you weren't paying attention."
You smirk and tilt your head, "Second off, I swear we've had a conversation before. I just-"
"Can't think of it right now? That happens to me all the freaking time." He chuckles as he sips his drink, "Are you drinking?"
"I mean, I was. I left mine back there with a guy, I was on my way to the bathroom."
"Oh, shit. I'm sorry, are you with someone?" Sam asks and you shake your head, wanting to say yes because it really feels like it, but in reality, you're not.
"No, no. My friend just left me there and he appeared and yeah. Nothing serious, I don't even know his name."
Why are you defending yourself to someone you don't know, you think, "I'm y/n. I guess I should have told you that when you told me yours."
He smiles, "Pretty name, y/n." He motions to the bar, "Can I buy you a new one?" You smile, "I think I'd like that a lot, Sam."
You step up to the bar with him and Sam flags down the one bartender, "Whatever she wants. It can go on my tab, Golbach."
As you look up at him, you get this odd feeling of déjà vu.
"What?" He asks with a smirk and you shake your head, "You just.. remind me of someone I can't really remember."
"What?" He laughs, "Sorry, I don't mean to laugh I just-"
"No, no please laugh. I'm so awkward." You cover your face with one hand and he shakes his head, "I'm sorry." He moves your hand from your face, "I think you're beautiful."
You feel your cheeks heat up and he bites his lower lip, "Can I ask you a question?"
You nod, "Yes."
He leans in, eyes focusing onto yours, "You will answer yes to my question and not question anything else. Can you follow me to the bathroom so I can have a taste of you?"
You smile, "Yes."
"That was easy." He downs the rest of his drink and slides his hand down into yours, "Follow me, princess."
You leave your drink, mind only focusing on one thing right now and you absolutely were not questioning it.
He leads you to the back, pushing the door to the bathroom open and lets you walk in first. He follows behind you, shutting the door and locking it.
He stares at you for a few seconds, the only thing he's focused on right now is listening to your blood flow through your veins.
"You're going to taste so fucking good." He moves in front of you within a second, hands on your hips which guide you back to sit you on the sink's edge.
His eyes focus on yours again, "Don't make a sound."
All you do is nod, moving your eyes from him to the wall behind him as he dips his head down to press his lips to the side of your neck.
Your eyes flutter closed as he gently sucks a spot into your neck, tongue moving over your skin before lifting his head ever so slightly.
His grip tightens on your waist as his fangs emerge, eager to be sunk into your delicate skin.
"Ready?" Sam whispers and you nod silently. He smirks and your eyes go wide, hands sliding up and gripping the collar of his shirt as his teeth sink into your skin.
His groan is muffled by your neck and his hands pull you in closer to him.
Your hand lays on the back of his head, mouth parted in completely silence as your eyes flutter closed.
The feelings you get is pain mixed with the upmost euphoric pleasure.
As you open your eyes, you see a man leaning up against the wall, watching. You can't tell who he is, as your vision is kind of hazy.
Sam lifts his head a little, "Go away Colby."
The guy, who you presume as Colby now, chuckles, "Come on, who says you can have all the fun?" Sam stands up, licking his now red lips. He lifts a finger, wiping away the blood drop that's rolling down his chin from the corner of his mouth.
"You can have your fun later. This was my idea, so I get first dibs, remember?" Sam glances back at him and he walks up next to him, eyes on you, "She is so fucking beautiful."
"Ain't she?" Sam grips your chin, "You can talk now, but you're still not questioning anything."
You clear your throat, swallowing to relieve it from the dryness and Colby sighs, "Clean her blood up, Sam."
"Why?" Sam teases, "Smells good doesn't it?"
Colby shakes his head, "You know I don't have control like you do." Sam sighs, rolling his eyes as he wipes the blood from your neck with his thumb, "Scaredy cat."
He smears some of his blood on the open wounds, getting them to heal faster so he can cover his tracks before he brings his thumb to his lips.
You watch as he licks the red liquid from his skin, "Mm." He leans back slightly before leaning back in, his voice going quieter, "So fucking good."
He presses his lips to yours and the metallic taste of your own blood washes over your tongue.
"Alright. You gotta get her back to her friends, they're ready to go to another bar." Colby moves back, leaning against the wall and Sam nods, "Do you have any questions for me, sweetheart?"
You smile slightly, reaching out to grab his shirt with your hands, "You're coming with me."
He raises a brow, "Is that a demand?"
"Only if you want it to be." You bite your lip, staring up at him as you continue to smile at him. He sighs, "I'll find you, babe. I promise."
You nod, sliding down from the sink, "You better." As you go to walk towards the door, Colby clears his throat, "Sam."
Sam sighs, "Shit, right." Sam quickly moves between you and the door, "I promise I'll undo all of this later, but for right now.." he cups your cheeks with his hands, looking into your eyes, "Forget about what happened and what you saw. You're going to tell your friends that you used the bathroom and only remember me as Sam Golbach. A regular guy from the bar down the street."
Within a blink of an eye, they're both gone and you're left standing alone in the bathroom, "Guess I'm done here."
You walk out and your friends are standing in a group by the door, "There she is. We thought you left." Cami says reaching out to grab your hand.
"No, I was just using the bathroom." You smile, "Are we going to another bar?"
Cami nods, "We're going to go hang out at Electric Avenue." You groan, "Oh my god, I love that place."
She laughs, "Then what are we waiting for?" She wraps her arm around yours and as you leave Bar Eight, you can't help but feel like you're forgetting something.
Something that happened, but you can't quite put your finger on it. That sick feeling returns, but this time it comes with heartache.
Even though you're with your friends, you feel extra lonely right now. In this moment you just want to go home, curl up in bed and cry because you're missing something so bad right now, but if anyone were to ask, you can't give them an answer that sounds sane enough for them to not laugh or think you're not crazy.
Because let's face it, the fact that you're obsessing over someone or something that you have zero knowledge about, is pretty insane.
"ID's please." The bouncer says as you walk up. You dig into your purse and pull out your wallet, slipping your id from its holder.
He checks it over, handing it back to you to move onto Cami. You wait for her by the door and when she walks through, you link your arm with hers, pretending that you're not ready to run home.
"Shots. Please!" She yells over the music and you sigh, "I'll do one, maybe two."
"We'll see." She giggles as she pulls you with her to the bar and rests her arms on the tall counter.
"Well hello ladies." The bartender walks up, "I'm Blake, anything you need I'll be happy to serve it to you."
Cami giggles, "Thank you, Blake. I think.. to start off, we'll do-" she pauses for a second, "Six teq-"
"No." You say quickly and she sighs, "Fine. Six vodka shots."
Blake smirks, "You got it." He winks at you before walking away and Cami leans in, "He is so hot." You shrug, "He's alright."
"Alright? Are we seeing the same guy? Y/n. He's into you!" She nudges your side with her elbow, "Get his number."
If he, as so little as it may seem, gets your number, I will snap his neck in front of everyone.
"No." You snap at Cami, "I'm not giving him my number. And you aren't either."
She scoffs, "Is this about the little crush you have on that character in your book because if so-"
"Cami." You roll your eyes, "no it's not about that okay." She turns towards you, leaning against the bar, "Then what's it about? Hmm."
You sigh and right as you're about to give her some bullshit answer, a guy comes up beside you and wraps his arm around your waist, "It's about me."
You look up and your mood instantly switches, "Sam! There you are."
"Here I am." He smiles as he looks down at you, "I told ya I'd meet you here."
Cami shakes her head, "Wait." She points to Sam, "Who is this and when did you meet him?"
"Cami, this is Sam Golbach. A regular guy from the bar down the street." The words seem scripted to you, but you didn't really pay attention to that.
You felt safe. Complete. Almost like this is the meaning to your obsessing and empty fantasies.
"Why didn't you tell me? I thought you were talking to that other guy?" Cami tilts her head and you scoff, "You make it sound like I'm a whore, Cami."
She laughs, "Oh god, no. No, I didn't mean it-"
"It's fine." You laugh, "He knows about the other guy I was talking to. It just.. didn't work out."
Blake comes back and delivers the six shots on the tray. His eyes move to Sam, staying on him as he speaks, "Six vodka shots."
He walks away and Sam can't help but laugh, "I don't think he likes me."
"Well maybe it's because he was eyeing up your girl before you showed up." Cami grabs a shot and looks around for the others.
She waves them down, motioning for them to come over and they do. Singing along and dancing mildly to the music that's bumping through the club.
"Heyyy. Who's this?" Your other friend asks pointing to Sam. He leans forward, "I'm Sam."
"Sam. Sam. Sam." She laughs, clearly reaching her alcohol limit, and fast, "You gonna stick around?"
Sam nods, "I mean, yeah. I planned on it. At least until one of us-" he nods towards you, "- is ready to leave."
Your friend laughs, "No, no. I meant sticking around as in dating my girl here." Sam's brows raise and he nods, "I mean, yeah. Yeah. I plan on it, I mean. That's if she wants me to."
Your arm tightens around his waist and he smiles, "I think that's a yes." You nod, resting your head on his shoulder. As you're standing there, waiting for the shots to be distributed, you spot another oddly familiar face.
"Who's that guy over there?" You ask pointing across the bar. Sam leans down, "Which one, sweetheart?" You lean over slightly, "The guy next to the girl in the pink top."
"Oh that's Colby." Sam turns his head to look into your eyes, "You recognize him from back at the bar, he's a good friend of mine." Sam looks at you and you nod, "Oh okay. Yeah that makes sense. Maybe I do remember him."
Sam smiles and kisses your temple. He closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath, remembering what your blood tasted like on his tongue.
His hand grips your hip tight, loosening as he takes a shot glass from Cami, "Thank you."
You take yours and wait for Cami to tap hers against the bar. Everyone follows, tapping each glass against the wood before knocking them back.
Everyone cheers, pulling each other onto the dance floor. Sam takes your hand into his, pull you with him before spinning you around to press his chest against your back.
His hands slide down, gripping your waist as you move to the beat of the song. Your head rests back onto his shoulder and he rests his cheek against yours.
Your arm slides up, wrapping around his neck and you spin around to face him, your other arm moving up to interlock your hands behind his head.
"You're so beautiful." Sam says which causes you to smile. He brushes hair from your neck, subtly inspecting the now healed bite mark. He lick his lips, tilting his head as his eyes meet yours again.
"Does your friend need a dancing partner? I can send Cami over to talk to him?" You tilt your head and Sam chuckles, "Nah, I think he'll be alright."
"Girlfriend?" You ask and Sam shakes his head, "No."
"Oh, is he gay? My friend Curtis ca-."
Sam laughs, "No, no. He's not. He just.." he brushes hair from your face, "He has his eye on someone very special already."
"Good for him." You smile, pulling Sam closer. Sam nods, "Yeah, it really will be good for him." He leans in, lips connecting with yours and its sparks.
Bright sparks, hell. Those are fireworks.
"I don't want to leave you." You admit, "Sorry if that w-"
"I don't want to leave you, either." Sam cuts you off, lips connecting right back with yours. You lay your hand on the back of his back, sliding the other one down his chest and pushing away from him, "They're all coming back to my place, so I hope that doesn't change anything."
Sam shakes his head, "doesn't change a thing, baby."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
You giggle slightly to yourself as you dig for your keys, "I hope I grabbed them."
"I'm sure they're in there." Sam says giving you a smile. Cami pushes between the two of you, "Do you have them?"
Sam glances at her and back to you, "She's looking for them."
You look up at her, "Can you move your head, you're blocking the light." You try not to laugh but fail, causing her to laugh which spreads throughout everyone else.
Sam shakes his head and you pull out your keys, jingling them as you look back, "Found them."
They all cheer and you unlock the door, pushing it open before you drag Sam in with you.
You set your bag and keys on the counter before turning to face Sam, "Do you need a drink or anything?"
He licks his lips, brushing hair from your neck, "I do, but I'll get it then."
"I can get it fo-"
He cuts you off, "I'm fine, sweetheart." He smiles, "Come on, let's go sit." He takes your hand into yours and pulls you towards the couch.
You sit on his lap, looking back at Cami and your other friends who are raiding your fridge. She gives you a look and nods towards your room.
She walks over stopping at the door way, "Y/n, can you come help me unzip my dress."
You look back at her, "Oh yeah." You get up, sliding your hand along Sam's shoulders as you walk around the couch.
Cami pulls you into your room and shuts the door, her voice is quiet, "Don't you think.. Sam is.." she trails off and you tilt your head, "Sam is? What, Cami?"
She waves her hands in a circle, "I don't know, he seems a bit.. controlling."
You laugh slightly, "What do you mean?"
"The way he just pulled you over to the couch, I mean you were just trying to offer him a drink." She shrugs, "I don't know, it just.. you just met him, we just met him, and he's already back at your place?"
"I don't understand what you're saying? You do this all the time, cami." You cross your arms, "Do you want me to kick him out?"
"That's not what I'm saying at all, y/n. I'm just saying that I get a really weird vibe from him, he just.. he seems cold." She shrugs, sighing as she turns around, "Can you unzip me quick, though please?"
You roll your eyes, reaching up to quickly unzip the dress, "I know you're just trying to look out for me, but something about him just feels.. right."
She turns around, leaning down to grab her bag, "ultimately it's your choice at the end of the day, but I'm just saying be careful. I just didn't like the way he drug you over to the couch."
"I think you're being a little dramatic." You laugh, "Now change, and come out so we can watch a movie."
You walk over to your door, opening it to walk back over to the couch. Sam greets you with open arms as you sit back down on his lap, "Everything okay?"
You nod, "Yeah, her zipper was just stuck in some loose string from her dress."
You didn't have to lie, Sam already heard everything.
"Dress okay?" He asks and you nod. He plants a kiss to your cheek, "Good."
Cami walks back out, coming over to sit next to you, "So, what movie are we watching?"
"Something funny. Oh!" Cami snaps, "Why don't we watch Vampires Suck? Have you seen it?"
"Isn't that the movie that's based off of Twilight? Doesn't actually suck?" One of your friends say, and Cami nods with a smirk as she leans forward to grab the remote, "Yes, it is, and it's supposed to suck on purpose. That's the whole point."
Sam chuckles shaking his head, the thought of watching a bad vampire movie was so cliche to him.
Cami turns his head, leaning out to look at him, "Is that alright with you?"
He looks at Cami and nods, "Why wouldn't it be?"
"Cami." You sigh, "Just play the stupid movie." She sighs quietly and presses play, tossing the remote down next to her.
A little bit into the movie, you lean in to Sam, "I'll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom." He nods, giving you a smile as you get up.
You walk to the bathroom closing the door and as you look at yourself in the mirror, your mind shifts from Sam and you zone out.
"You're just.." Colby smiles, brushing hair from your face, "So pretty."
You smile, a blush rising onto your cheeks, "Thank you, Colby." He leans in, "I've honestly never come across anyone as pretty as you."
"Okay, now you're just saying stuff." You laugh and he shakes his head, "No, I'm not. I'm being serious. I've seen hundreds of faces, and yours is my favorite one of all."
You look away, laughing slyly, "Colby."
He grips your chin, turning your head back to face him, "I'm being so serious right now. I'd risk fighting Lucifer himself to be with you."
"Lucifer?" You question and Sam's voice pops up, "Colby. That's enough. Knock it off."
You look around, unable to spot Sam..
Your eyes focus on your figure in the mirror, blinking a few times before you continue to do what you went in there for.
You open the door, flicking the lights off as you walk out.
"Hey I think I'm going to head out." You look up at your friend as you sit down next to Sam and Cami, "Are you good to drive?"
They nod, "Oh yeah, I feel fine. I'll text you when I get home."
"Okay. Be careful." You smile and they nod as they walk out.
A little bit later, two more friends leave, then another one, leaving you with just Sam and Cami.
"Is it just me, or were they acting kind of weird?" You look between them and Sam shrugs, "I know they were getting tired, probably didn't want to have to sleep on the floor." He teases them reassures you, "I think they were good."
Cami yawns and stretches as she leans forward, "Yeah, I think I'm going to head home. I forgot I had an appointment early in the morning."
"But it's Saturday?" You question and she shrugs, "Yeah. There's one that has certain hours."
"Oh." You nod, "Okay." Your eyes follow her as she gets up, walking over to grab her back, "I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you!"
"Yeah, okay. Love you, too." You watch her shut the door and then you slowly look over at Sam, "That was so weird."
"Maybe they just settled down, got tired from the alcohol?" Sam suggests and you shrug, "I mean, yeah. You're right." You laugh, "Sorry I'm just-"
There's another thump, almost like the same one at earlier on in the day.
"That happened earlier." You look back, "Hello?"
"Maybe it's your neighbors?" Sam stands up, "I'll go check, maybe someone else did leave."
You nod, turning around to watch as he walks back to check the rooms. He comes out of your room and shakes his head, "No one's here."
You nod, continuing to watch as he then gets this annoyed look on his face and he sighs, "Fine."
"Sam?" You slowly get up, "Who are you talking to?"
"No one, I just-" he laughs, "I have something to tell you."
Your heart starts racing and you feel like your chest gets heavy, "Oh god." Your mind starts racing through every single idea that could potentially happen.
He had a plan this whole time. Gain your trust, get your alone, murder you.
He chuckles, "Relax, sweetheart. I'm not going to murder you."
Your head snaps towards him and you point, "H-how did you-"
"I can read your mind."
His words catch you off guard, "Y0u ju- you can r-" he pause, closing your eyes as you rest your forehead in your hand, "What the fuck is hap-"
You look up, gasping when Sam is right in front of you, "Shit." You go to step back but Sam grabs your wrist.
As scared as you want to be, when he touches you, it's like all your fear washes away and you want to do anything in your power to keep him with you.
"Listen to me." Sam's voice is soft, "I have to tell you something, but I need you to not freak out." He looks into your eyes, "Okay?"
You nod your head, "Y-yeah. I guess I can try."
"Come." He motions towards the couch, "Have a seat."
You walk over, sitting down. You turn your body towards him and rest your hands in your lap. Sam leans back, casually extending his arm over the back, "I made your friends go home."
"Huh?" You tilt your head, "What do you mean you made them leave?"
He shrugs, "Because we were getting impatient and they were just being massive cockblocks."
You sit in silence as you try to process his words, "We?"
Sam nods, "Yeah, remember Colby from the bar?" You nod slowly, "um, yeah. Yes." Sam nods, "Well he's here, too."
You whip around, looking for him, but you don't see him, "Where?" You turn back around, heart racing faster, "Why is he here, too?"
Sam stares at your chest, biting his lip as he pushes the thirst for your blood out of his mind, "You can't see him, he's hiding himself."
"Hiding himself?" You run your hand through your hair, breathing out a quiet, "Fuck."
After a moment of silence, Sam speaks up, "Do you want to know what happened at the bar?"
"I know what happened at the bar. I met you, we talked had a drink, I went to the bathroom then came out and walked with my friends down the street to another club." You look at him and he smirks, "No, sweetheart. Do you want to know what really happened?"
"What really happened?" You question and Sam leans forward, looking into your eyes, "When you remember, you won't make a big deal about it."
You nod and Sam tilts his head, eyes still on yours, "Remember."
You freeze as your mind plays what actually happened at Bar Eight.
Sam compelling you to say yes to his question. Following Sam to the bathroom. Sitting on the edge of the sink and being told not to make a sound.
His teeth sinking into your neck and you can almost feel the pleasured pain he caused you as he sucked your blood from your neck.
Colby emerging from behind Sam as your vision goes hazy.
Everything flows if, filling the cracks with missing information and you're left speechless.
You blink, your eyes moving to look at Sam. The only words you can form leave you more shocked as they leave your lips, "Y-you're.. a vampire?"
Sam smiles, nodding his head as he leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees, "Correct."
"And Colby?" You raise your brows and Sam tilts his head, "He's a demon."
"A de-" you shake your head, "No. I'm dreaming I can't- this can't be real." You stand up, placing one hand on your forehead and the other on your hip, "I'm having a really, really weird dream."
"Hate to break it to ya, babe." Colby's voice startles you as he walks around from behind you. You jump, stepping back as you look at him. He holds his hand out, "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare ya."
He chuckles, "But you're not dreaming. You're awake, and we're here."
You slide your hand down, resting your fingers over your lips and your mind starts racking up questions.
"Yes, we're why you felt guilty after going to Tara's party." Colby nods, "And why you felt so obsessed over, well.. nothing really."
"It wasn't really nothing, y/n. We made it so you were, what? Colby. I don't even know what you'd call it." Sam looks to Colby and Colby purses his lips, "Mm."
He snaps his fingers and looks to you, "Love sick."
"We made you love us, without even knowing us. That's why you felt so comfortable with me at the bar, we'd basically manipulate your dreams so you'd know who we were, but someone.." Sam trails off, glaring at Colby before looking back to you, "Thought it would be best if we made it so you couldn't remember when you woke up."
You can feel your legs shaking below you, "And the making me do things? What.. what's that?"
"Oh the compulsion?" Sam nods, "Yeah, that's my favorite thing about being a vampire." He laughs, "I can make anyone do anything I wanted."
"So you.. compelled me.. to.." you point to your neck and he nods, "Yes."
"Why?" You stare at him and he shrugs, "Come on, if a stranger came up to you and said follow me to the bathroom, I want to bite your neck and drink your blood, would you have honestly, willingly gone with?"
"I mean, no but- wait." You point to Colby, "You don't like my blood?"
He sighs, "Ah, yeah. That."
"He could rip you apart if he really wanted to." Sam laughs and Colby rolls his eyes, "So could you, Sam."
Sam nod, leaning back to bring one of his legs up to least on his other one, "That's true. I could tear you apart if I wanted."
Sam is in front of you within the blink of an eye and you lean back slightly. His arm snakes around your wait, hand planting on the small of your back, "But I think you are just.. the sweetest thing."
There is absolutely no fear in your body, and they both know it.
"Why me?" You ask, your breathing growing faster as Sam slides his other hand up your arm to push your hair out of the way, "Why not you?"
His fingers run over the spot he had previously drank from before, "You have such a pretty face, on a pretty neck. You drive me crazy."
He leans in, lips gently pressing against your skin before tilting his head up, "Tell me you don't want me right now. Tell me you don't want us.. right now."
"I-I." You gasp as you feel Colby appear behind you, his hands sliding onto your waist. You bite down on your lip, "Are you going to hurt me?"
"Not unless you want us to, baby." Colby chuckles, "We're here to pleasure you. Make you feel things you've never even thought of feeling."
Colby presses his chest against your back and Sam tilts his head, "We don't take orders from anyone.." his thumb brushes over your bottom lip, "But you."
A rush of excitement washes over you and they both chuckle, "she's excited." Colby whispers, "I can feel it."
"This is so fucking weird." You laugh, still slightly in shock, "Oh my god."
"What do you say, sweetheart." Sam looks into your eyes, "Will you let us be your sickening desire?"
Your lips part open as Colby's lips attach to your neck, sucking a mark into your neck.
You had to admit, the devils voice is so sweet to hear.
Along with them being pretty cute for being, what others would consider monsters.
"You think we're cute?" Sam teases and you sigh, "My thoughts aren't safe anymore are they?"
Sam shakes his head, "Not at all, babe."
"You share them with us now." Colby whispers, "So are you going to answer Sam's question. Are you going to let us show you what an exhilarating ride it is to dance with the devil?"
After taking a moment to think, your eyes meet Sam's and you nod, "Take me."
"As you wish." He lifts you up, walking over to the couch, "But before we start. Can I have that drink now?"
"So that's what you meant?" You bite your lip and he nods, "Uh huh. Exactly." He looks over at Colby and when you look over at him, he's gone.
Sam turns your chin back towards him, "He's not too far off." He winks and slides his hand to the back of your neck, pulling you in closer to him as he leans up, mouth close to your neck.
Your hands grip the collar of his shirt, preparing for the initial piercing of your skin.
"Tell me when. You call the shots." Sam whispers and you nod, "Go."
You let out a whine, tilting your head to the side as his fangs sink into your neck.
Your fists tighten with his collar still balled up in them, and a moan slips through. Sam wraps tightens his arm around your waist, groaning against your neck.
The euphoric feelings rushes in, causing your arousal to spike.
You need him, and you needed him bad.
Your mind dances off onto the topic of Colby, thinking about how good he looks in the black leather jacket.
How his dark demeanor intimidates you, but also turns you on more than anything.
"Fucking hell, babe. You taste fucking good." Sam leans back, fangs still out as his licks the blood from his lips.
Your eyes gaze over his face as you slide a hand up, wiping away a bead of blood that's getting ready to drip. You drag your finger up his chin, slowly placing it in his mouth and you gasp when his lips wrap around it, sucking your flood off your finger.
"I know I should be scared but.." you bite your lip, pulling your finger from his lips, "I'm not."
"We don't want you to be scared." Sam whispers, "We love you."
Without any hesitation, "I love you both."
"That's the way we want it." He smirks, looking over your shoulder, "You good, Colbs?"
"Oh yeah." Colby answers from behind, "Clean her up. I want my turn with her." Sam smirks and licks his lips again before leaning forward.
A shiver goes down your spine from Colby's words and Sam's tongue gliding over the fresh puncture wounds.
A little whimper leaves your lips, "Please."
"Soon baby." Both say in unison.
"Stand up for me, princess." Sam says and you stand up, slightly wobbly. Colby moves behind you, sweeping you off your feet, "You'll get used to that the more it happens."
You stare up at him, captivated by how a demon can look so pretty.
"I'm not in my true form, sweetheart." Colby smirks, walking you into your room, "Maybe one day I'll show you."
"What do you look like?" You ask and Colby lays you on the bed, "Let's not talk about that right now." He licks his lips, pressing them to yours.
Your hands move to his neck, moaning quietly against them. He slides a hand down, slipping it under your shirt, earning a moan as he toys with your nipple.
You tilt your head back, arching your back as he pinches a bit harder.
You wonder where Sam is, and he instantly appears next to you, "I'm right here, princess." He smirks down at you and you bite down on your lip.
You had so many emotions flooding through your mind and body.
You have never, never felt like this before and that was part of their goal.
Colby slips his hand out, gripping your shirt at the top and tearing it with a smooth glide, exposing your chest, "Mm. Naughty girl, not wearing a bra."
You bite your lip, looking down at him and he smirks, "I like it better when you don't." He winks and leans down, attaching his lips to one nipples while his fingers find the other.
A moan leaves your lips as you lay a hand on the back of his head, "Fuck."
Sam leans down slightly, laying a hand on your head and brushing it over your hair, "We've been watching you for a while now. Did you know that?"
"N-no." You whimper and Sam chuckles, "Of course not. We didn't want to make you love sick, we just needed a way to make you ours before we told you who we truly are."
Colby leans up, "You're the only sense of humanity we have."
"Really?" You look from him to Sam and Sam nods, "Really." You look back to Colby as you feel your jeans being unbuttoned. You lift your hips, eager for them to be off quicker.
Sam stands up, unbuttoning his shirt as Colby works on undressing you fully, "Shit, this is so fucking hot."
Colby smirks, chuckling as he slides his hands up your bare legs, stopping at the band of your panties, "You're more than ready for us, aren't you?"
You nod quickly, "Yes." You move your hips up and down, "yes."
"Taste her, Colby." Sam commands and with that, your panties are ripped from your body, tossed like nothing to the floor.
"Fuck." Colby groans, quickly getting into position with his head between your thighs. Your lips part as you watch his inch closer to you, biting down on your lip when he glances up at you.
He closes the space, his tongue gliding up and down your folds, groaning against you as he finally tastes what he's been anticipating.
Sam's eyes are heavily focused on Colby, watching as he eats you out, "Fuck." He whispers, hand sliding down to palm himself.
You slide your arm towards him while placing your other hand on Colby's head, moaning as your back arches, "S-Sam."
Sam's eyes move to you, instantly picking up on what you want to do for him. He discards his pants, his boxers quickly following, leaving him naked as he climbs on the bed.
He sits on his knee, resting back on his calves as he reaches down. His fingers wrap around your wrist, guiding it to wrap around his cock.
He lets out a relieving moan, bucking his hips as you squeeze and gently stroke him up and down, "F-fuck."
His chest rises and falls quickly as his eyes watch you touch him.
You look over, locking eyes with him as you moan. He focuses on yours, "Cum."
Your body tenses up as a wave of absolute pressure washes over your body, screaming out as you tug on Colby's hair, which earns a deep groan from him.
"That's it, princess." Sam moans, "Fuck."
You catch your breath, watching as Colby sits up. He moves up, attaching his lips to yours and you moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue that moves against yours.
Sam grabs your wrist, pulling it away from him as he moves to the end of the bed. Once Colby climbs off, Sam grabs your ankles, easily pulling you down so your legs hang down.
You watch as Sam drops to his knees, hooking his arms under your knees as he moves in. His tongue slips into you, groaning as you gasp, "Sh-it."
Colby gets onto the bed, biting his lip as he watches you take his cock into your hand without being told, "Such a good girl." He reaches down, running his thumb over your bottom lip.
You part them, taking his thumb into your mouth and sucking. He tilts his head, watching the sight below him.
He looks down at Sam, watching him devour you before looking back, "Use your mouth, baby."
You comply, you don't need any kind of compulsion to do anything.
It's all you.
You push his thumb out of your mouth with your tongue, lifting your head to allow the tip of his cock to replace it.
He gasps, moaning as he lays a hand on the back of your head, "More, baby. Take more of me."
You swirl your tongue, coating him in saliva before you push your head onto him more. You moan around him as Sam slips a finger into your soaked cunt, tongue swirling around your clit.
Colby fights to keep his eyes open, "Shit." He pushes your head down, holding it there as he thrusts his hips, "Doing so fucking good."
Your back arches and your moans are muffled. Colby holds still, allowing you to have control again.
You bob your head, pausing as Sam slips another finger in, curling them slowly as he sucks your clit.
"Fuck." Colby glances down at Sam and back to you, brushing hair from your face. You tilt your head back, taking a deep breath as you moan loudly.
Colby moves back a little, leaning down to whisper in your ear, "Cum."
You whimper as your orgasm rushes in again, ripping loud moans and screams from your throat as you cum around Sam's fingers.
"Does that feel good?" Colby asks stroking his hand over your hair, "Looks like it does."
"Yesyesyes!" You scream out, "Fuck yes!"
Sam pulls his fingers out, standing up to lean down over you. Your eyes lock into his as he slips his two fingers into your mouth, "lick them clean for me."
Your tongue swirls around his fingers, sucking them clean like he said. He drags them out, pulling your bottom lip down slightly as he leans down to kiss where he bit a not, too long ago.
He reaches up, gripping your chin as he studies your face, "I want to drink from you while Colby fucks you from behind."
You nod, "P-please, Sam."
"You don't have to beg, princess. Not this time." He smirks and stands up, walking around to lay on the bed, "Come here."
You sit up, turning around to crawl up the bed, straddling his lap. Colby moves behind you, hands on your hips as you lean down to connect your lips with Sam's.
You feel spit run down over your center, followed by Colby's cock rubbing it in before slipping the tip of his cock in.
You gasp into Sam's mouth and both of their hands hold your body still, "Feel good?" Sam asks lowly and you nod, eyes closed as you moan, "So good."
Sam kisses down the front of your neck, licking back up to under your jaw, "Think you can take both of us at once?"
His words surprise you and he chuckles, "Only if you want to try of course."
Colby pushes his cock into you, groaning as his fingers dig into your hips, "Shit." He bites down on his lip, slowly pulling out before starting to thrust at a slow pace.
You moan, looking down at Sam. He watches your face scrunch up as he slides his hand up to your neck, slowly squeezing.
"fuck, I can't fight it anymore." Sam groans as he pulls your hair back into a make shift ponytail, holding it with his hand, "Stay as still as you can for me, okay?"
You whimper in response, moaning from Colby's cock thrusting in and out of you.
Sam licks his lips, tilting his head to get to the side he hasn't bit yet. He pulls you in close and sinks his fangs into your neck.
You let out a small yelp, quickly covering it up with a loud moan. You fist the sheets next to Sam, pulling in them as you try to stay as still as you can.
Colby's grip on your hips is tight enough to where you know you'll have small round bruises from his fingers digging into your skin.
Sam sucks your neck, moaning lowly as lifts his head slightly. His eyes flick down to your neck, "I'll never get enough of you."
"I'm yours." You moan out quietly, "Both of yours."
"Who do you belong to?" Colby asks, "Say it louder."
Sam reconnects his mouth to your neck, making your vision go blurry, "Y-yours." You moan, screaming out, "Both, I belong to you both."
"That's our girl." Colby groans, "Our fucking girl."
Sam lifts his head, licking your neck clean and lays his head back. You stare down at him as Colby's thrusts come to a stop.
Sam reaches down, grabbing his cock to slide it into your cunt along with Colby's.
You let out a whimper as you feel yourself stretching to accommodate them both, "F-fuck." You hang your head down, whimpering as they both start to thrust, quickly finding a pace.
Sam slides his hand back up, cupping your cheek, "Tell us how good you feel."
"So.. fucking.." you gasp, "Good!"
"Do you want to cum?" Colby asks and you answer him immediately, "Yes, yes. So bad." A string of whines and moans leave your lips non-stop.
"Little bit longer baby." Colby rubs his hand up and down your back, "Doing so good for us."
Your eyes scan quickly over Sam's face. There's just something about the blood covering his chin that turns you on even more.
"Thank you." He groans out with a smirk. You smile, biting your lip as your brows furrow, "Oh fuck. Fuck."
"Think she's had enough, Colbs?" Sam asked eyes not leaving your face.
"She's earned a break." Colby answers and Sam pinches your chin between his pointer and thumb, "Look at me, princess."
You open your eyes and he locks his onto yours, "Cum."
Pleasure washes over you, causing your body to shake as it feels much more powerful than the last two orgasms you had.
You feel their cocks slip out of you and you cling to Sam, moaning and whining as you work your way through your high.
"That's it, baby. That's it." Sam whispers as he plants kisses on your face, leaving little spots of blood.
You slowly relax, breathing heavy as you roll off of Sam to lay on the bed.
"You know. You look so cute with blood on your face." Sam leans over and smiles down at you. You laugh slightly, too tired to even care.
You feel someone one wiping you off and Sam comes back with a clean face and something to wipe yours off with.
You didn't think they would do this, you thought they were just going to have their way with you and leave.
"Just because we're labeled as not good doesn't mean we don't care about the aftercare part." Colby smirks slightly and you smile, "Sorry."
"Don't be sorry, sweetheart. You have a lot to learn." He winks and pulls the blankets up over your legs, "And yeah, that means we aren't going anywhere."
"Mhm. We claimed you." Sam says lying next to you, he brushes hair from your face, "so does it all make sense now?"
You nod, looking between them, "oh yeah. Everything is so much clearer now."
"You're still in shock aren't you?" Colby asks and you bat the air, "not at all." He raises a brow and tilts his head, "We can tell how you're feeling, babe. No need to lie."
You sigh, "Okay, fine. Maybe a little bit."
Colby lays next to you on your other side and rubs your arm, "Do you have any questions for us?"
"Were those thuds I heard earlier, you guys?" You ask as you pull the blanket up a little more. Sam laugh, "Yeah, that was Colby accidentally knocking stuff over."
You laugh, "This is just.." you sigh, "I'm sure I have more questions, I just.. my brain right now is so scrambled."
"You're fine, princess." Sam smiles, "You need rest."
"Will you be here in the morning?" You ask and look between them. Sam nods and Colby smiles, "We're always with you."
Sam smirks, "You have claim on us now."
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did and let me tell you, it was A LOT. So let me know how I did!
Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!
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#samandcolby-ownme#sam and colby#sam and colby one shots#colby brock#sam golbach#dirty one shot#smut#sam and colby smut#one shot smut#colby brock smut#solby x reader smut#solby smut#vampire!sam golbach x reader#demon!colby x reader#vampire!sam golbach#demon!colby brock#dirty colby brock oneshots#sam golbach dirty one shots#colby brock dirty one shots#sam golbach dirty#smutty one shot#smut writer#Love sick#updates#original one shot
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Ok but imagine 42! Miles with a s/o who's literally the complete opposite of him in terms of aesthetic but she helps him when he's the prowler. Like nobody would expect the sweet, energetic, girl with the "Mabel pines" energy to be the gal in the chair for the prowler and making his weapons and at the same time being his girlfriend. They're a literal force to be reckon with.
Complete opposites but totally work
(I love this and so sorry it took so long but enjoy!)
Mabel Pines!Reader
You guys work very, very well together
I can't even describe it very well but it's like yin and yang
He was absolutely gobsmacked on how smart you actually could be
Because not mean, he thought of you as a sort of airhead for a while
But he actually found it quite cute or adorable on you
But he did find out very quickly that y'all have very, very different aesthetics
To be frank you look like a rainbow threw up on you
While Miles is all gloomy and dark over there
So safe to say you throw some glitter in him and force him to be colorful
He finds it hard sometimes to keep up with your energy
But it good for him
His mama absolutely LOVES you
She sees how much Miles loves you just due to the light you bring into his eyes
You can give this man anything and he will pretend to not like it but raise hell if you try and take it back
You guys proudly watch the news of worried women and men on TV talking about jobs you guys pulled and tryna catch you guys
Y'know those sassy guys we see in Tiktoks?
He's that sassy guy with you when you make him mad or annoyed
Knees facing the other way with his whole body while he side eyes you
But he can't resist you for very long
He actually was quite shocked when he found out you had a little dark side
He always saw you looking on the bright side of things
So you partaking in his Prowler activities, much less MAKING the shit for them, absolutely shocked him
He found it quite hot though I can't lie
You're absolutely right when you're completely different but work so well together
Even Uncle Aaron saw it
He uses you sometimes as a little diversion
A fake damsel in distress might I say
He never actually puts you in danger a you can very much so handle yourself but he's always lurking around the corner in these situations
You are an absolute monster at anything Miles needs
New gloves? Done
New mask? Done
Fucking Ray gun? Why didn't he ask sooner? Here, it's in your bag
You absolutely stick little stickers on his crap as well
You can't help yourself
But he absolutely loves it
You sit in the chair looking all pretty but can turn intimidating real quick as he's sitting on the arm chair
Y'know those scenes where the bad guy asks their "dumb/weird" henchman like
"I have no idea…how about we ask (Name)?"
Those type of scenes and you can come up with the best shit he didn't even think of
Absolutely soul mates
Anyway, enjoy this little scene I made:
Miles breathed heavily, leaning against the wall on the rooftop to the door to go back down to his home. He was dressed as the Prowler, breathing labored from a fight.
Miles tried to breathe the best he could, even succeeding for a moment before his eyes snapped open as he heard the shudder of a phone camera and a flash.
Miles' eyes widened, hand in front of him as the flash died and he saw you standing there, blank faces and camera held out in front of you.
Miles and you stared at one another for a moment, nothing to say at all.
"Is that carbon fiber?" You suddenly spoke up.
"...what?-" Miles blinked, barely able to process this before you almost jumped on him.
"Ooh! How did you make this?!" Miles couldn't even breathe and before he knew, his helmet was in your hands as you went on.
"This material is tough enough but you know I could make a much better one if-" you rambles on, an excitement to your voice Miles knew all to well as you flipped over the mask in your hands
"Wait– hold on." Miles held his arms out, effectively causing a pause in your rant as you stared back at him.
"Y'know who I am…right?" Miles asked, slowly and almost trying to be intimidating.
"Um…the Prowler?" You muttered, utterly confused as you tilted your head, holding the helmet to your chest.
"Yeah?!" Miles exclaimed, eyes wide and hands held out like he was trying to get a point across.
"Mhm. Is this like…a trick question, or…?" You asked, completely unbothered by it all as you looked down at the mask, examining it as you merely glanced up at him.
"No! Just- why are you so calm about this?" Miles asked, shocked as well.
"Well, it's not really shocking. You sorta have the backstory of a villain, anyway." You shrugged, staring dead at him.
"...seriously?"
"Well, kinda. Sorry, is this like a bad time for you?" You asked, still not handing over the mask as you held it over your head, almost trying to put it on.
"No, just, you can't tell anyone about this." Miles said, grabbing the mask to hold it in place and off your head, almost dangerously close to your face.
"I mean, I'm not? But-" you started and Miles almost rolled his eyes at your excited expression.
"I can help you!" You stated, biting your lip in excitement as you almost glowed from the glitter on you.
"Help…me?" Miles raised a brow.
"Yeah! Everyone thinks I'm dumb, but I have dirt on everyone. Everyone. And, not a lotta people notice I'm there so I can get you a lot of info, or like- routes and stuff. I'm also good with my hands."
You went on proudly, Miles looking between you and your hand which held his helmet.
It took a moment, Miles going over it all in his head.
He finally sighed.
Miles opened the door to the stairwell, gesturing inside as your eyes widened in shock before you actually smiled, hurrying inside quickly as you rambled on.
Miles followed after you, a seemingly annoyed expression on his face, but the dust of pink across his cheeks from your smile gave him away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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#across the spiderverse#across the spider verse spoilers#across the spider verse x reader#spider man: across the spider verse#into the spiderverse x reader#miles morales earth 42 x reader#miles morales x y/n#miles morales x you#miles morales x reader#miles x reader#earth 42 miles morales#earth 42 miles morales x reader
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May I request Neuvillette, Diluc, Kaeya and Zhongli asking their s/o if they would choose them or the world and they (s/o) chose the world? At first they were upset until s/o hugs them and says they're their world.
THAT IS SO CUTE!!<3
Characters Included: Neuvillette; Kaeya; Diluc; Zhongli
Content: gender neutral reader; established relationship; just some good old fluff; a bit angsty on Diluc's part but nothing too bad; not proofread yet
Word count: 1,9k words
Had a very stressful week and didn't get to writing at all. But now that it's over, I can finally work on requests again! Yay!
Enjoy<3
Neuvillette
Neuvillette, when in a relationship, would be head over heels for his partner
it may not show in his face, because the Iudex was never good at expressing his emotions, but his actions are loud and clear
he adores you in every way possible and tries to spend as much time as he can with you, without neglecting his duties as Chief Justice of Fontaine
enjoys taking you on a leisure stroll through the city or just lay on the bed with you, cuddling all day/night long. Around you, he fells safe to let go of the strong hold he has over his dragon side. So, when in the privacy of your or his home, you can expect his tail to curl around some part of your body as soon as he gets close to you, but most of the time, it's either around your leg or your waist
one evening, while you were cuddling together, there was a thought that entered Neuvillette's mind
on his way home today, he saw a couple and he didn't mean to eavesdrop on them, but he overheard one of them asking the other, if they would choose the world or their partner
he thought it to be stupid at the time and didn't think anything of it, but having you in his arms now, he couldn't help but think what your answer to this would be
"Darling", he'd ask cautiously as to not scare you from suddenly speaking up. You hummed, signaling that he had your attention
"This might sound stupid, but... If you had to choose, would you save the world, or me?"
You don't answer for a while and Neuvillette almost thinks that you might have fallen asleep. He was about to lean down and check when you stirred and turned yourself around in his arms to face him
"Hmm.. I think I'd save the world.", you answered and then pressed yourself against his chest again, content with your answer
meanwhile, Neuvillette felt a bit disappointed. He was sure that you'd adore him as much as he did you. Was he.. wrong about it?
His mood drastically dampened as he continued to hold you, but then you spoke up again
"Wanna know why?", you ask him, and unable to refuse you anything, he agrees to hearing your reasoning
you rise from his arms, pushing yourself up so you can look at him. You smile at him, warm and full of love, as you tell him: "Because, you are my world."
for a moment, he's too stunned to speak. Then, he closes his eyes and lets out a chuckle, relieved to hear that and overwhelmingly happy right now
He catches you in his arms again and kisses you, holding you as close to him as humanly possible, not wanting to ever let you go again..
Kaeya
he's usually not one to fall for such tricks. No, rather, he's the one who gets people into doing them, watching the scenes unfold in the chaos afterwards
but for reasons, this one hits a bit too close to home for his taste
choosing between saving one or the other.. it's not a situation he'd want to wish upon anyone, knowing first hand just how bad it feels to be forced to decide eventually
he tries to forget about it, pushes it to the back of his mind, but it's like the heavens are mocking him, as he sees couple after couple who'd ask each other this damned question
and almost every time, he'd see them happily fall into each others arms when they get confirmation from their partner that they'd choose them
it filled the Cavalry Captain with some sort of longing... a feeling he couldn't quite describe, but he wanted this for himself, too
so, he decided, that on his next outing with you, he'd just go ahead and shoot his shot, asking you the same thing. What could possibly go wrong, right?
you'd invited Kaeya over tonight for dinner, to which he obviously enthausiastically agreed to
the two of you had some fun goofing around, playfully throwing things at each other before you actually did the cooking together
while the food was boiling on the stove and there was a quiet moment, Kaeya felt that now was the time to ask you
"Hey, (Name).. I got a question for you."
"Shoot.", you'd answer, still focused on cleaning up, but waiting for Kaeya to ask what he wanted to
"It's just.. If you'd had to choose.. would you choose me? Or the world?"
you scoff, a smile on your lips, and without hesitation you answer "Obviously, the world."
"Oh.", Kaeya answers, his mood sinking by the second. He can't really blame you for your answer, but he can't help but be a bit disappointed
however, the next second, he feels your arms snaking around him, pulling him into a hug. "Because you are my world, dummy."
Kaeya is stunned for a second, but he quickly feels that warm feeling rising in his chest again, that you always seem to trigger in him
he hugs you back, burrying his face into your hair as he holds you close to him, the food forgotten for this moment
"Thank you", he whispers, his arms ever so slightly tightening around you. He didn't realise how desperately he'd needed this confirmation from you until now...
Diluc
Diluc is a man who often thinks of himself as unworthy and undeserving of your love and affection
he's flawed, broken, a fragment of the person he once was. He can't find anything good within himself, so he can't fathom you seeing him in a different light entirely
you love him, regardless of his broken self. Even more so, you help him in trying to overcome this feeling. You heal his very soul, with you, he finally feels complete again
but despite that, he still has his moments of doubt, but you're always quick to shut such thoughts down again
Diluc truly adores you, with everything he has. No matter what you want or ask of him, he'll personally see to it that you get what you asked for
You want some new clothes? Already bought. You want to spend time with him? His schedule is cleared out minutes later. You want his love? You already have it
but the doubt still gnaws in his mind today, not letting him focus on the good aspects of your lives together
it was a quiet evening at Dawn Winery. The Staff had gone to bed already but you were sitting on a couch in front of a fireplace, the fire crackling peacefully, while you read a book
Diluc was walking down the stairs, looking for you when he spotted you there, looking as stunning as ever
His heart clenched in his chest when he saw you, and that irresistable desire to be close to you took ahold of him
he carefully approaches you and slowly snakes his arms around you from behind, hidding his face in the crock of your neck where he breathes in your scent, calming down his mind a bit, but the thoughts are still racing in him
you chuckle a bit and raise a hand to play with his hair, while you kept part of your attention on your book still
the both of you stayed like that for a few minutes, before you closed your book and adressed your lover
"Why don't you sit down with me? It must be uncomfortable like this."
but Diluc remains where he is, totally content right now. And yet, something still gnaws on his mind..
"Love.. if there were ever a situation in which you'd have to choose.. would you save the entire world? Or me?"
if he were to be asked the same question, his answer now would be different compared to if he would have been asked that before meeting you
before, he would not have hesitated and saved the world. Eradicating all evil to save everyone else sounded like the right thing to do.
but now? Diluc was certain that he could not live in a world without you in it. He'd sacrifice anything and everything for you, even the entire world
you chuckle lightly, still playing with his hair. "I'd choose the world. Without a second thought. Because you are my world. And I wouldn't want it to be any other way."
hearing you say that eased his mind, his hold around you growing stronger. It was a relief for him to hear you thinking about him the same way he does about you
with little to no effort, he picks you up from your spot on the couch and carries you all the way to the bedroom, where the two of you cuddle well into the night, unitl none of you can stay awake any longer. And even in your sleep, he holds you close, thinking that maybe, it's okay to love you, that you were meant to be together...
Zhongli
even as a god who's lived for thousands of years, there seems to be new things to learn still, with every single passing day
and since you entered his life, the things he learns have become all the more interesting to him
every little detail about you has been committed to his memory, never to be forgotten again. Zhongli never would have thought he could harbor such intense feelings for another being, much less a human, but he was proven wrong
only through you does he really learn to appreciate things that come with being human. He begins to take pleasure in the small things in life, his focus shifting from the greater good, and instead setting his sight on you, always aiming to make you feel as happy and appreciated as possible
after a bit of time, where he got to know you and trust you, he would also reveal the truth about himself to you
the moment you accepted him still, despite his true self, was the happiest Zhongli has felt in a long time. Now, whenenver it was just the two of you in private, he can let go of himself and allows himself to show some of his more draconic features around you
on one such day, the two of you were cuddled up on the couch, Zhongli laying on top of you, his arms around your body, his tail curling around one of your legs while you were stroking the horns protruding from his head
you were talking about mundane things, telling each other how your day has been going, but he really enjoyed listening to you
"Oh, I almost forgot! My coworker asked me something today that I found kind of ridiculous."
"Oh, really? What was that question, dearest?", Zhongli would inquire, interested but still resting comfortably on your chest
"Well, since she knows I'm in a relationship, she asked me if I would choose my lover over the entire world.", you laugh as you recall that conversation
suddenly, Zhongli's interest is peaked and he turns his head so he could look at you, a spark in his eyes
"And what did you answer?"
"Obviously, I picked the world. I mean, I don't think I could or really want to live without you at this point."
at that, Zhongli furrows his brows in confusion, your answer making no sense to him
he ponders about it a bit more, you laughing a bit at him, finding it cute that he didn't understand the implications of your words. So, you decide to just explain it to him
"It means that you are my world, Li. Nothing would feel right anymore if you weren't by my side."
the confusion now washed away, his gaze grew softer as he stared at you, love for you swelling in his chest, growing and growing until he couldn't take it anymore
with a low growl, he shot up and burried his face against your neck, his tail swaying back and forth behind him and you couldn't hold back the chuckle
"I love you, Darling.", he'd whisper against you. "with everything I am. My heart and soul will always belong to you."
#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact headcanons#genshin headcanons#genshin fluff#genshin impact fluff#neuvillette x reader#neuvillette x you#neuvillette headcanons#neuvillette fluff#neuvillette x reader fluff#neuvillette x reader headcanons#kaeya x reader#kaeya x you#kaeya headcanons#kaeya x reader headcanons#kaeya fluff#kaeya x reader fluff#diluc x reader#diluc x you#diluc headcanons#diluc x reader headcanons#diluc fluff#diluc x reader fluff#zhongli x reader#zhongli x you#zhongli headcanons#zhongli x reader headcanons#zhongli fluff
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(3) take me dancing * | I got a bad idea series
—> masterlist
southern!wandanat x fem!city-girl reader
tw: alcohol consumption by r and w (r is tipsy, not drunk), sexual description and tension (18+), slight angst for one part (denial section), r described to be wearing jeans and reveling top, sexual dancing, sort of a party scene
a/n: dangerous woman by Ariana is THE song for this chapter OMWWW —not proofread :)
Falling in love is a beautiful feeling, and one that surrounded you. Linages being passed down between your parent’s parents to their siblings. The only other in the family who’s single is your brother, but he deserves to be single.
There are stages of developing a crush.
The first stage is simply meeting them.
That day was only thirty minutes long. You stood out in the dark, the car lights shining where the four of you stood. Your grandma wanted you to meet them, saying it would rude to leave and not greet the new neighbors. So you stood there, out in the cold, trying to end the conversation as quick as possible so you would get to your flight on time.
During the holidays you had visited your grandparents for the one week you had off. When you hugged your grandma, your eyes would flicker over to the woman on the other side of the fence. Finding her carrying a stack of hay in both of her hands, gloves on and hair tied back. You would see them around, but kept your distance feeling like you had no reason to meet.
The second stage is realization.
It was the night you had gotten drunk, and the night they had taken you in. It was the days that followed after you had woke up in their bed. It was the way that after that moment you found yourself running into them almost everywhere.
After your grandma had invited them to your event, they thought it be best to do the same. Natasha had come to the front door, sharing news about wanting to have them over for dinner. Your grandma fretted over the idea for a minute, but she welcomed your family over still. Your grandma accepted, shutting the door and explaining the news to the you all that night.
It went well. Their door was propped open, allowing people to come and go and make decisions as they wish. You found yourself talking with Wanda. With it starting out as an ask to help her, it ended with you spending the few hours you had laughing in the kitchen. Your grandparents were ever the social butterfly and invited them, and practically everyone else in their small neighborhood—back over for another cook-out.
A week of almost daily sightings started to become something you expected. Their house is a five minute walk from your grandparents. You would find yourself walking around the side of the house that faced theirs in hopes you would catch a glimpse, or vise versa. You found yourself preening whenever they walked by, fixing a part of you that you felt mildly insecure about when you heard their voices in the distance.
Natasha made a joke one dinner. She sat across from you at the table, laughing at the recent story you were telling where you messed up and dropped hot water on the barn cat. It slipped out. A total accident of speech where you said you noticed them on the other side of the stable.
“Are you following us?”
She laughed. And you did too, but you felt like her words were slightly true. It spiraled that night when the week’s events caught up with you.
You were always looking forward to seeing them. You smiled when you noticed them walking by. You would laugh harder at a joke if it were told by them. You got giddy when they invited you over. And your heart raced when they stood close to you.
The next stage is denial.
There was nothing worse than the guilt you felt. You’d never thought you’d see the day where you found a married couple attractive. You confused the two of them when you took off like you did the first day you arrived. Avoidance was your friend, one you tried to keep close by chasing after it.
They tried to talk. The doorbell rang and you sprinted up and slammed your door by the time your brother reached the front door. Your ear pressed to the door, conversations muffled save for a few important words. Wanda had come to check in on you. It was incredibly sweet, causing you to tear up. It hurt to stay within those walls and hear her say her goodbyes. It was for the best.
The fourth stage is sharing.
It’s incredibly difficult keeping a secret to yourself. The means of telling another about your infatuation ate away at you anytime you got alone time with one of your family members.
It was an early Friday morning. You woke up with a headache, a result of last night’s crying session. You wondered down the steps in search for something to eat, and any headache medicine you could fine. Your grandparents were outside, sitting in their rocking chairs. It seemed best to join them, grabbing a bowl of fruit and sitting beside them.
They’ve told you the story of how they fell in love before, but this time you listened. Your grandma smiling at the words coming from her husband. It was all about how they met back in 1943. How he was ever the same then as he is now with her.
She looked to you with a different expression on her face. A hand landed on yours as she asked if you had anyone in mind. You spent the morning relaying your thoughts from the last week and a half. The tightness in your chest falling away from the care in their actions and how they really listened to you.
The fifth and final stage is acceptance.
You had just under a week left. Your phone notifying you to check in for your flight in a few days, officially telling you that you’re leaving soon. Your brother, being the one who’s practically lived here since you’ve left for college, invited you to join his friends to the line/swing dance hall. You nothing that night, so you accepted the invitation and slipped out your window at 12. If you had gotten caught
The car was pulled out front, music blaring from the speakers it almost looked like the car was vibrating. You climbed in the backseat, sitting thigh to thigh with another one his friends. He introduced himself and it made the car ride less awkward being practically on top on one another.
“Been line dancing,” he asks, his face illuminated by a street light every three minutes.
“Went religiously in high school,” you answer, pushing yourself up to get a lick of the breeze blowing into the car.
“Nah, really?”
“Really, I went with a few girlfriends at the time.”
He quirks an eyebrow, “we’ll see, city girl.”
The price at the window was fifteen per person for the entire night. You waved the fifteen dollars in his face, “might be a city girl now, but at least I make money.”
He shoves you towards the main room, “don’t be arrogant.”
The classes had ended at 11. Everything that played now was a mix between songs they taught the dance to an hour ago or well-known songs. There was a crowd, a layer of sweat amongst a majority of them.
Your brother bumps into your side, passing you a bottle, “you dressed up nice.”
“This is what I wear around the farm.”
He shrugs, looking around the room, “oh, she’s here.”
“Who’s she?”
Your brother watches you scan the room with a deadpanned face. He angles your face towards the left corner of the room.
You know he’s talking about the women in red, but you hone in on the two beside her.
“She’s so beautiful. Should I try to get her number, I don’t want to be rude though.”
“Sure.”
He makes a face at the drink you took. He makes the effort of trying to stop you, but he tries a bit too late.
“Don’t get drunk,“ he whispers into your head, leaving you alone and walking towards the other end of the room.
A song you recognize echos through the room, and the steps come naturally. You understand now why those on the floor had a layer is sweat. You start to sweat yourself feeling the heat from the other bodies rub off and onto you.
You follow along with those surrounding you, mindlessly switching between each step with ease. After a twist of your hips you angle your body to face the fourth wall. You meet their eyes as you finish the steps facing the wall.
It’s not been enough time for the alcohol to settle in, so it can only be blamed on a sudden increase in confidence.
You may come to regret it later, but you’ve already emphasized the move where you wind your hips around. It’s entirely too intimate and it eerily reminds you of a scene from a movie. Your attention focused on them amongst the crowd present.
The alcohol kicks in when the song ends. You wonder towards them, a dazed smile on your face.
“Hi Wands,” you slur, “come here often?”
“I do on Friday nights,” she looks at your boots, “where’d you get those?”
“I think your house. Anyways, please come dance with me.”
“I don’t lead, angel.”
You look to Natasha, mouthing please. She grabs your hand and walks you onto the floor. A bubbly laugh sounding from you as she places a hand on your waist.
“You don’t have to be scared to touch me,” you press her hand further down your waist until it’s edging touching your ass. She has a steady blank look on her face as she spins you around to the music.
A specific move twirls your back her chest. You loose your morality when you throw your head back onto her shoulder and grind your hips back into hers. Her nose is brushing up your neck, making you shiver but you cover it with a laugh.
Her hands move to hold your hip to spin you out. She pulls you back to dip you down, a smile forming on her face at the silly smile on your face. You pop back up, face close to hers when you do. You look behind her head, finding Wanda leaning against the wall, downing a drink. Her eyes having left you the entire time you spend on the dance floor.
“There’s better alcohol at home,” Natasha asks as she walks up to Wanda, voice raspy.
“Taste doesn’t matter when the goal is to get drunk.”
Natasha grins, continuing to talk with her while you’re floating away from the hand she has settled in your back pocket. The looks they gave you throughout the night and hand placements has your mind spiraling. You’ve accepted that they may be partial to accepting your bad advances.
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This is very speculative, but I'm suspecting Kipperlily is using the Ethereal Plane to spy on the Bad Kids and if I'm right I might have figured how she got found out by the rogue teacher!
First, let me explain my paranoid thoughts about the spying. Since ep 3, we are aware that Kipperlily is hearing their conversations, even if we don't know for sure the extent of it. She, just like Riz, must have a crazy stealth modifier + reliable talent, however I don't think she's relying only on that.
So, there's a scene in ep 4 when the Bad Kids roll for perception to spot Kipperlily. Kristen casts See Invisibility and Fabian rolls a nat 20. Brennan describes, only to Fabian, that although he doesn't see Kipperlily, he feels the "twinge of some kind of sense". Very creepy. That implies that she's there but cannot be seen. She could be invisible, however I don't think that's the case because an invisible person could still be perceived through hearing or touch. Also, Kristen would have been able to see her because of the spell.
With that in mind, the paranoid goblin that lives inside my brain is convinced that she's using the Ethereal Plane to spy on the Bad Kids. The Border Ethereal is perfect for infiltration and spywork, since you pass through physical objects and watch everything in the material plane without ppl there perceiving you. There are a couple of ways to access the Ethereal Plane, with spells or items, but I have no ideia abt the specific method she might be using.
Her being in the ethereal plane explains why Fabian, with his nat 20, didn't notice any physical indicatives of Kipperlily but still felt a presence, like some sixth sense. Now, Adaine did use her Third Eye so she could see into the Ethereal Plane within 60 feet and still saw nothing. But that doesn't mean that Kipperlily isn't there since there's a very easy way to circumvent Adaine: Non detection. This is a third level spell that hides the target from divination magic - for 8 hours they "can’t be targeted by any divination magic or perceived through magical scrying sensors". The Rat Grinders, long time haters of the Bad Kids, are for sure aware that Adaine is a divination wizard, they would be fools to spy on the party without casting Non Detection first. She's the motherfucking elven oracle!
Okay, now about the rogue teacher. In ep 3, Siobhan theorizes the rogue professor is the ghost teacher. I think she's absolutely right! We know most teachers of Aguefort and even if the ghost one was among those we havent seen, the Bad Kids would probably have heard about them if they were teaching something like ranger class. It's plausible that the reason for the party having no ideia who they are and not even passing by them in the halls is that the ghost is the rogue professor. After all, no one knows who the hell they are, it's the whole point of their teaching method. And for a ghost it would be really easy to go undetected since they can travel through the Ethereal Plane, beside the insane stealth.
Indulge my conspiracy theories for a minute. Rogue professor = Ghost Teacher and Kipperlily can wander in the Ethereal Plane, the plane of ghosts. Even with the advantage of being on the same plane as the teacher, it would still be a nightmare to find them since they are a pro rogue. In fact, Kipperlily didn't achive that: the rogue teacher found her.
But how did she manage to have the professor find her? I'm sure it wasn't an accident, she's too calculating for that. So, I started thinking about what would I do in her place and came up with the stupidest ideia. It's utterly ridiculous. But it could totally work and the strategy seems kinda Kipperlily's style.
Remember the Ghost Steak? The one Fig tried to eat when she invaded the teacher's lounge in season one? It's the ghost teacher's lunch, and Brennan reestablished its existence in ep 3 when Adaine used Ethereal Sight, explaining that the school wards are porous enough to allow ethereal travel and other stuff.
So if I was Kipperlily, my dumbass plan would go as follows: invade the teacher's lounge through the ethereal plane and hide inside the fridge. It wouldn't be a problem for me since I'm intangible and can pass through stuff, plus the other professors wouldn't see me even if they opened the fridge. Inside, I wait as long as needed, until the Rogue/Ghost Teacher gets hungry. They finally open the fridge to grab their snack, only to find me looking at them from inside the fridge like a lunatic. Mission complete: got found by the rogue teacher and aced junior year!
It's so mundane and stupid and that makes me more convinced that's exactly what happened. It's too funny to not be true.
#fhjy#fh#d20#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy theory#fantasy high junior year#kipperlilly copperkettle#rat grinders
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OK so heres some of my favorite things that were talked about during the enter the florpus commentary thing yesterday:
one of jhonen's favorite things in the whole movie is the writing in zim's kitchen that says "do anything is real?"
they clarified specifically that gir was not lying and he did in fact eat a baby at the crazy taco
gir smells REALLY bad. theres like rotting organic matter in his body at all times. he stinks
zim's human suit is made out of actual human skin
zim is acting drunk on nacho cheese during that scene in his house because richard horvitz recorded it while drunk
they planned to have this whole thing with tak's ship only agreeing to go to moo-ping 10 because it knows tak is there. they wouldve shown her in silhouette during that brief explosion and she wouldve stowed away on the ship without anyone knowing and then wouldve shown up towards the end of the movie, but they decided to cut it out
zim did not need to frame membrane for a crime in order to get him into space prison and likely just tossed the guards like 5 bucks for it. its a shady place. they did specify though that if he did frame him for something, it would have been jaywalking
they pointed out during that scene where zim is celebrating peace day on dib's lawn that zim's reaction to seeing dib was very much genuine and that's just how his brain works. he is genuinely surprised to see him pop out of his own house. (they also described his reaction as like "being surprised to see your best friend")
the ham joke was ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL to the film and at some point jhonen remembered it and was like GUYS. WE ALMOST FORGOT THE HAM
there was supposed to be this joke where it cuts to and from gaz and dib in tak's ship and they would've had to stop at like a warp station or something and theyd be waiting in a long queue of spaceships and the radio is broken in the ship so theyre stuck listening to that one song. then itd cut to them like totally braindead drooling from listening to it for so long. and then a little later itd cut back a FINAL time and theyd know all of the words and both be singing along to it. but this was also cut out so only the last bit remained
when asked "who would win: minimoose or mrs. bitters?" the answer was along the lines of "neither, i think all of us lose in that scenario"
the tallest are just two dudes who happen to be the same height and therefore have to share the same job. they are not brothers and they are also not gay lovers ("as much as you want them to be, they are not. there is no love in this universe")
skooge is in fact alive and lives in zim's basement. they wanted to keep the number of "hey remember this thing from the tv show!" moments to a minimum so he was not mentioned in the movie. but he is there
#cryn rambles#invader zim#this is based pretty much entirely off of my memory btw Sorry i was not taking notes#im sure people will be uploading clips and stuff i saw people recording on their phones at different points#but i was not one of them. my phone was already like 3/4ths of the way dead when i walked in#also zadf real ANYWAYYY#kinda obsessed w jhonen's rapr shade LMAO#the whole thing was fucking hysterical im so glad i was able to go#anyways. there was so much more but these were some of my favs or just ones i thought were notable#also jhonen was excited for alan wake 2 today. my friend (big alan wake fan) was very excited to hear this info#iz tag
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Riddle’s extremely fearful and aggressive reaction to Dumbledore when he thinks he’s a doctor (and the fact that he assumes this at all and believes he is being lied to) has some pretty dark implications (which of course no one follows up on). Do you have thoughts?
thank you very much for the ask, anon!
and yes - this has occurred to me too... which means that my thoughts come with a trigger warning for the sexual abuse of a child, and are under the cut.
the relevant scene in canon is, of course, this:
“I am Professor Dumbledore.”
“Professor?” repeated Riddle. He looked wary. “Is that like doctor? What are you here for? Did she get you in to have a look at me?”
He was pointing at the door through which Mrs. Cole had just left.
“No, no,” said Dumbledore, smiling.
“I don’t believe you,” said Riddle. “She wants me looked at, doesn’t she? Tell the truth!”
He spoke the last three words with a ringing force that was almost shocking. It was a command, and it sounded as though he had given it many times before. His eyes had widened and he was glaring at Dumbledore, who made no response except to continue smiling pleasantly. After a few seconds Riddle stopped glaring, though he looked, if anything, warier still.
“Who are you?”
“I have told you. My name is Professor Dumbledore and I work at a school called Hogwarts. I have come to offer you a place at my school - your new school, if you would like to come.”
Riddle’s reaction to this was most surprising. He leapt from the bed and backed away from Dumbledore, looking furious.
“You can’t kid me! The asylum, that’s where you’re from, isn’t it? ‘Professor,’ yes, of course - well, I’m not going, see? That old cat’s the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, and you can ask them, they’ll tell you!”
the surface-level reading of this scene - which is clearly what the text wants us to go for - is that riddle thinks he's about to be institutionalised for being "mad" - and, specifically, that he thinks that what dumbledore has been told is his "madness" is actually his magic.
[he is also clearly meant to be read as panicking a little bit that he's fucked around torturing his fellow children and is now about to find out...]
that riddle accepts he's a wizard so easily - and that he is so reassured by dumbledore agreeing that he's not mad - is something the text wants us to read as sinister. him immediately describing himself as "special" is set up as a precursor to the adult voldemort's delusions of grandeur - which the entire arc of the series, ending in his death as an ordinary man, is designed to undermine.
but i've always disliked this reading. the eleven-year-old riddle - a magical child raised around non-magical people - is objectively correct to describe his powers as "special" [in that they make him identifiably different from the crowd] within the context in which he lives. the word choice is nowhere near as deep as dumbledore decides - he's clearly known since he was very young that he's a wizard, but he didn't have the precise language to describe this fundamental part of himself until dumbledore offered it; prior to that, "special" is a perfectly reasonable alternative term.
and, in always knowing that he's a wizard, he also knows that he doesn't have a mental illness - but he must also know that this is something it's near impossible for him to prove.
in the real world, if i spoke to a patient who told me:
“I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to.”
then i would be correct to describe them as experiencing psychosis. and i might - depending on their other symptoms - have reasonable cause to admit them [voluntarily or not] for psychiatric treatment.
riddle is - of course - demonstrably not psychotic. but it's not unreasonable that mrs cole would assume he is - the world she lives in, as a muggle [even if she's a religious one], is one in which people do not possess the ability to move objects or control animals with their minds, and if one of her charges is convinced that he can, then she's justified in seeking medical intervention.
[that psychiatric treatment in the 1930s can be described without exaggeration as inhumane is another matter...]
which is to say, i think we can easily suppose that mrs cole has - prior to dumbledore's arrival - succeeded in having riddle "looked at", and that the idea that he's mentally ill and should be committed to an asylum has been mentioned before. i think most of us would be instinctively [and angrily] wary of doctors if this happened to us, regardless of how nice the doctors in question were.
and maybe that's all there is to it.
and maybe it isn't...
in the doylist text, the eleven-year-old riddle's personality is the way it is because he's the villain of the series. where harry is preternaturally capable, even as a child, of all the things the series defines as admirable - above all, enduring difficulty without complaint - riddle is preternaturally incapable of them. he's meant to come across as unambiguously sinister - and the fact that the text repeatedly emphasises that he has control over his unpleasant traits invites us to view him as someone who is acting with full agency. that he lives in an orphanage is a trope which the text uses, like a campy horror film might, predominately to underscore how creepy he is - and the text, in keeping with its general lack of interest in states and their institutions, never really prompts us to interrogate the impact of his childhood upon the course his life takes.
[this is despite the fact that voldemort's reliving of the night he killed the potters in deathly hallows is an incredibly accurate depiction of ptsd...]
but it's also the case that the eleven-year-old riddle's behaviour and personality fits a pattern we might expect to see in a child who is being abused, sexually or otherwise:
he's aggressive, he has a hair-trigger temper, and he becomes distressed even by behaviour - such as dumbledore speaking mildly and calmly - which would not ordinarily be expected to provoke such a reaction.
his broader emotional state is fractious. his mood changes sharply, he seems to feel emotions very profoundly, he struggles to control his emotional response to things, he's extremely easily irritated, he's attention-seeking - and he particularly seeks negative attention, and he's very highly-strung.
his admission in deathly hallows that he feels calm before he kills - or before he otherwise eradicates a threat or a problem - comes with the flip-side that he's someone who appears, when things aren't going well or he finds himself in a situation which he can't control, to become quite anxious. which is a trauma response.
he's extremely isolated. the text presents the fact that he has no friends as a deliberate choice - "lord voldemort has never had a friend, nor do i believe that he has ever wanted one" - and his relationship with everyone else he ever meets, including his fellow orphans, is defined by the text as exclusively involving him controlling, manipulating, and punishing them. or: he is always the more powerful person in the pairing.
but this need for control can be read as self-protective just as easily as it can be read as sinister. there are hints in canon that riddle is not just some malevolent force in the orphanage preying on mild-mannered innocents. for example, billy stubbs, the owner of the rabbit he kills, is targeted by riddle as revenge:
“Billy Stubbs’s rabbit... well, Tom said he didn’t do it and I don’t see how he could have done, but even so, it didn’t hang itself from the rafters, did it? [...] But I’m jiggered if I know how he got up there to do it. All I know is he and Billy had argued the day before."
on the rare occasions billy turns up in fics, he's usually - i find - written very like neville - sweet and guileless and a bit pathetic. but the alternative reading - especially when we take into account that riddle attacks the rabbit rather than billy himself - is that billy is someone he would be afraid to physically confront.
indeed, it's striking that voldemort - at all stages of his life - is described as being quite physically fragile. not only is he very thin, but he's always cold and his heartbeat is described several times in canon as irregular. i think this is supposed to be a comment on the physical changes he undergoes the more horcruxes he makes - although the idea that the soul would affect the heart doesn't actually align with how the series understands the soul to relate to the body - but it can also be interpreted perfectly legitimately as something he was experiencing prior to splitting his soul.
i am committed to the headcanon that riddle was quite a sickly child - and that this is one of the things which drives his fear of death - and i'm also committed to the idea that his obsession with magic is because the enormity of his magical power makes up for his physical lack. he can defeat - and humiliate and frighten and remove the threat of - billy or dennis [or even an adult man?] with magic. without it, if they were to physically overpower him, then he wouldn't be able to throw them off.
he is extremely nervous about being alone in a room with dumbledore - someone he doesn't know, and who he assumes is connected to a profession [and, maybe, who knows any other doctors he's been previously made to see...] of which he is frightened.
he doesn't trust or confide in anyone - which, as a child, means particularly that he doesn't trust or confide in adults in positions of responsibility. he's clearly uneasy with the idea of finding himself in the subordinate position in an adult-child relationship when dumbledore offers to take him shopping for school supplies - potentially because he's worried that dumbledore will try and dictate or restrict what he's allowed to buy unless he behaves in a certain way...
and i am always very struck that dumbledore says in half-blood prince:
"He was very guarded with me; he felt, I am sure, that in the thrill of discovering his true identity he had told me a little too much. He was careful never to reveal as much again."
this is presented in the text as evidence that dumbledore is the only person of whom voldemort is afraid - by which the text means that voldemort acknowledges that dumbledore knows that an ordinary man, mortal and unimpressive, lurks behind the mask of unassailable power he has created for himself; and which the text thinks is a good thing.
but we can also read it as a self-protective act on riddle's part. in his excitement, he offers dumbledore information [that he is known to be a liar, that he is in trouble a lot, that mrs cole dislikes him and is disinclined to believe anything he says] which would give dumbledore - or anyone in a similar position of power and presumed respectability - cover to abuse him, safe in the knowledge that he would be unlikely to be believed if he reported it.
he doesn't appear to feel safe in the orphanage and he's frequently absent from it - by his own admission, he spends a huge amount of time wandering around london on his own, which may even involve him staying away for several days at a time. nobody appears to notice or care about this.
he's very independent - which the text again presents as evidence of his deliberate self-isolation and rejection of the bonds of love and friendship - and his independence is unusual for a child his age [i.e. that he is capable of doing all his own shopping for school].
his knowledge of violence - i.e. how he designs the trip to the cave to be maximally psychologically devastating for dennis and amy and devoid of repercussions for himself - is also more advanced and methodical than would be expected in a child of his age. again, the text uses this to emphasise how inextricable the child-voldemort is from his adult self - and also, to some extent, to underscore the intellectual brilliance [his magic is also more advanced than is normal for a child] which his narrative archetype [the exceptional villain who is defeated by the everyman hero] requires.
but we can also read it as evidence of his own victimisation.
a common sign that a child is being sexually abused is that they display a knowledge of sexual behaviour which is more advanced than is reasonable for a child of their age - for example, knowing in detail how a sex act is performed, or fluently using sexual slang which they have no chance of knowing either from age-appropriate settings like school-based sex education or conversations with a parent or trusted adult, or from the sort of enthusiastic hoarding of rude words and phrases all children enjoy as they grow up.
riddle's precise, clinical knowledge of how to manipulate, frighten, torture, and control can be seen as something similar. if he can - at eleven or younger - methodically break down another child until they're "never quite right" again, then this is because he's learned how to from someone.
he keeps secrets.
and he also goes out of his way to extract them. his grooming of ginny in chamber of secrets - he manipulates her into confiding things she wants to keep to herself, promises he won't tell anyone, and then uses the threat that he will to get her to do his bidding - is an absolutely textbook example of how abusers use the idea of secrecy to control their victims. it doesn't make his abuse of ginny any less inexcusable if we assume he learns this from being on the other side of things.
dumbledore understands his little cache of objects as trophies he's taken from victims - and the text takes the view that dumbledore is correct in this assessment. that hoarding trophies is something widely associated with serial killers means that this is yet another thing which underlines how creepy - and how like his adult self - the child-voldemort is.
but it's also the case that the adult - and teenage - voldemort places a lot of emphasis on gift-giving as part of his control over other people. the two most obvious examples in canon are wormtail being given his shiny hand as a reward for helping voldemort get his body back, and slughorn being buttered up with crystallised pineapple before voldemort asks him about horcruxes.
the text thinks this is sinister - and one of the reasons it does this is because gift-giving is a grooming tactic.
the text also clearly thinks this isn't behaviour voldemort has learned from the other side.
and yet a common sign that a child is being abused is if they have possessions it doesn't make sense for them to own [i.e. a child from a low-income background who is suddenly decked in designer clothes] and which they can't or won't explain how they came by. riddle's cache isn't luxurious - although he's so poor that a yoyo or a mouth organ probably is a luxury to him - but there's also nothing in canon which precludes the objects being presents, rather than stolen goods.
if the spell dumbledore uses to make the box rattle is caused by a statement which is both relatively ambiguous and dependent on dumbledore's subjective personal morality - is there anything in this room he's acquired through nefarious means? - then the spell would still work as it does in canon if riddle was an abuse victim given the objects as "rewards". dumbledore's tendency to locate right and wrong in the individual and dumbledore's belief that good people should steadfastly endure misery means he can be written entirely canon-coherently as someone who would think a victim who appeared to collude in their own abuse - such as a victim who "offered" a sexual act because their abuser promised them something if they did - was behaving consensually, manipulatively, and nefariously.
and it's worth noting that when riddle doesn't know what dumbledore has done to make the box rattle, he is "unnerved". when he realises dumbledore thinks he's stolen the objects - and that he has no interest in forcing him to admit this aloud - he is "unabashed". perhaps because he's just received proof that an experience he doesn't want to talk about is still secret...
on the other hand, the objects could indeed be stolen - because petty criminality and anti-social behaviour, especially in pre-teen children, is also a sign of abuse.
he can be extremely obsequious - when dumbledore tells him to watch how he speaks he becomes "unrecognisably polite", he ruthlessly flatters slughorn, and he is cringingly deferential to hepzibah smith.
the text understands this as evidence that his apparent charm is only superficial - another trait associated in the popular imagination with serial killers [and it's striking that so much about the young voldemort - handsome, charming, seemingly quiet and polite, true evil lurking underneath the mask - is exactly like the pop-culture persona which has been created for ted bundy...].
voldemort himself agrees that his charm is performative in chamber of secrets:
“If I say it myself, Harry, I’ve always been able to charm the people I needed. So Ginny poured out her soul to me, and her soul happened to be exactly what I wanted."
but his obsequiousness is also a fawn response - a way of minimising a threat by attempting to please the person issuing it. he becomes "unrecognisably polite" - after all - in response to this:
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. “If, as I take it, you are accepting your place at Hogwarts - ”
“Of course I am!”
“Then you will address me as ‘Professor’ or ‘sir.’ ”
Riddle’s expression hardened for the most fleeting moment before he said, in an unrecognisably polite voice, “I’m sorry, sir. I meant - please, Professor, could you show me - ?”
riddle could reasonably interpret what dumbledore says here as a threat to prevent him attending hogwarts - even though dumbledore evidently doesn't mean it in this way - and he switches to being fawning because this is something he really doesn't want to happen...
do i think that any of this is what the text was actually going for? no. and nor do i think that reading riddle as a victim of abuse excuses the violence which the adult voldemort goes on to perpetuate.
but i think it is a reading of his characterisation which is both canon-plausible and interesting - a strange, sickly child with a reputation for cruelty and dishonesty being abused by the respectable doctor who is constantly called in to treat his coughs and wheezes, who buys him little presents and charms him into telling him secrets, who then [to paraphrase the teenage voldemort] feeds him a few secrets of his own, safe in the knowledge that nobody will ever believe him if he tries to get help.
and i also think this a reading which is sincerely important.
a significant contributor to the prevalence of child abuse - no matter what exact form this abuse takes - is that we are culturally conditioned to imagine that both the abuser and the victim will look and behave in a certain way if the abuse is "real".
and this means, all too often, that we take child abuse more seriously when the victim is "sympathetic" - when they're from a stable home, and their family are respectable, and they do well in school, and they're polite and sweet, and they look innocent, and they behave perfectly appropriately for their age, and nobody would ever dare to say that they come across as older than they are, and they're white, and they don't have a history of lying, and they don't have a history of attention-seeking, and they don't have a criminal record, and they're not abusive themselves, and there's absolutely no way of suggesting that they colluded in their abuse, and the perpetrator was someone who looks like a child abuser.
someone who is creepy, low-status, ugly, unpopular. someone who everyone can tell is socially abnormal, someone who nobody would ever intentionally permit to be around their children. not someone who is charming, well-respected, attractive, rich, popular, trustworthy. not someone who has a loving family and a happy home. not someone we might be friends with.
but many perpetrators of child abuse are these second group of people. and many victims of child abuse are "unsympathetic", when their social positions and reputations are compared to their abusers' own.
they lie. they steal. they're attention-seeking. they're vindictive. they have trouble distinguishing between imagination and reality. they're violent. they're bullies. they hurt animals. they abuse other children. they take drugs. they're mentally-ill. they come from broken homes. they're in the care of the state. they're dirty. they're poor. they're odd. they're behind at school and badly-behaved in the classroom. they do things which allow their abuse to be dismissed as something they brought upon themselves - they speak or dress in certain ways, they pose provocatively in pictures and post them on the internet, they are known to be sexually active outside of the context of their abuse, they lie about being over the age of consent, they engage in sexual behaviour with an adult abuser in a way which appears [even though it isn't, and there's never a circumstance in which it will be] to be consensual or for their own personal gain, they are flattered by the attention they receive from someone who is important or attractive grooming them, they have complicated - and not always wholly negative - feelings towards their abusers.
and they are still - unequivocally - victims, and what happens to them is still - unequivocally - abuse.
tom riddle is an unsympathetic victim - not only of any potential abuse, but also of the horrors of his life which are explicit on the canon page: that he is raised in an orphanage; that he is grieving; that he knows nothing about his family; that he is thought to be mad.
the absence of any institutional response to his childhood experiences - dumbledore, by his own admission, discloses nothing about riddle to his fellow teachers - is a flaw repeated again and again in the worldbuilding of the harry potter series.
hogwarts - and the wizarding [and muggle] state more broadly - doesn't intervene in any case of neglect or abuse, from harry to snape to voldemort's own parents. the series' individualistic morality means that we aren't supposed to interrogate these collective failings. and the series' black-and-white view of good and evil - and its general belief that violence is fine if the person it happens to "deserves" it - means that it has no interest in examining the ways that poverty, isolation, and neglect are risk factors; that straightforwardly unpleasant people can still be victims; that victims can go on to become perpetrators without their victimhood ceasing to matter; and that the abuse of children usually takes place not in silence and secrecy, concealed in ways which make it fine for adults not to notice it and not to intervene, but in plain sight.
this is knowledge it never hurts to refresh. thinking about lord voldemort's childhood might be an usual way of doing so... but it is an effective one nonetheless...
#asks answered#asenora meta#tom riddle#lord voldemort#if wizards had the concept of safeguarding it would be a game changer...
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