#I think this can be read platonically or romantically but I'm aroace so I don't really know at this point | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thatnerdyqueer · 1 year

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People get so confused when I try to explain the type/s of attraction I feel. But let me put it like this: I "fall in love" with someone's character. I don't want their body - I want their presence. I don't lust after them - I admire them. I don't want a romantic relationship - I find them fascinating. Interesting. Fun. They challenge and compliment me. They're loyal. They're funny. They're not two-dimensional, they're a well rounded character. I fall in love with someone as a character, as an arc, as a person. As a friend. People seem to read this one of two ways - it's romantic, or it's just platonic and I haven't found the right person yet. *sigh* the definition of platonic is 'deeply affectionate but not romantic in nature'. So yeah, it's platonic. It's deep. It's affectionate. It's not romantic. It's just as good though, so can we stop saying 'just'?

Like, you know when people have gay panics? I want that, and frequently experience it, but in a platonic way. As in, wow what you did was really impressive/intersting I want to get to know you and spend time with you kind of way. Not in a wow I want to kiss you way. Someday I want to meet someone in a bookshop and 'flirt' with them or whatever allos seem to think it is, and get their phone number. And then, instead of asking them to see a movie as a date, I'll ask them to come and eat pop corn with my friends and watch a movie because I think they'll find it interesting. Make no mistake - I'm aroace, but I still want my meet cute. I want a platonic meet cute where I find someone, who's character is so full and interesting and bursting with life that I get their number and send them memes and geek out with them, and get to know them and admire them until we feel comfortable around each other. I just want to live with someone. To read together, watch tv shows together, listen to music together, go to the theatre together, without them being considered 'dates'. Because I don't want them because I want their body. I want them in my life because I like their character.

And if you think about it, I'm very lucky in this way. Because, while not everyone has a super-model body, the vast majority of individuals are so bursting with life that I am very, very, likely to find people, many people, whose character I love. To be honest, I've already found plenty. But, ever the "optimist", I hope I find more :)

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anistarrose · 11 days

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A while ago I saw a post that started out wishing Lilith's aroace identity got addressed onscreen, and I was like "yeah I totally agree, a voice acted stream reveal is many steps above 'some writer tweeting it after the show ends' but it would've still been far more exuberant and impactful to see it in the show." But then OP continued by saying there's nothing in Lilith's arc that reflects aromantic experiences, and look, I'm biased as the Lilith icon person, but like. Your experiences are not universal.

And... that's okay! My experiences aren't universal either. But as an aroace, I do have to say: Lilith does reflects one type of aroace experience, and that's the chronically ill aroace experience in particular.

It's the way that she's an adult who needs care from others, but first moves back in with her sister, and then moves back in with her parents, instead of moving in with or seeking out a romantic partner.

It's the way she grapples with independence and individualism, struggling to unravel "what she wants" from "what she needs in terms of support" and from "what society revolving around the Emperor's Coven has tricked her into conflating with self-worth".

It's the way she looks at her reflection and asks: "Am I broken?"

Not all aroaces are disabled and chronically ill. Not all aroaces have (or want) intense platonic friendships or close sibling relationships, and not are able to heal from trauma by living with their family. These are all arguments for more variety in aroace representation, to say nothing of a-spec representation as a whole — that just doesn't mean aroace characters with these traits don't represent anyone.

And this is also a chance to touch on a distinction that I feel isn't drawn often enough when talking about queer subtext of any form: I don't think Lilith, if you're only looking at the show itself, is a strongly or undeniably aroace-coded character. But she's absolutely a character whose arc is enhanced upon learning that she's aroace.

So don't get me wrong: I would like more than this. Lilith is like a baby step in terms of a-spec representation in animation — a meaningful step, but a small one. But for a series where each season except the first was heavily impacted (read: compressed) by the cancellation, and the unaffected first season was also the only one Lilith spent as an extremely polarizing villain, you can see how the crew could've gone in with extremely conscientious intentions and wound up having to make a tough call, right?

I don't even necessarily think they made the right call, I'm just willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that they tried. It feels like they put more than just some performative 30 seconds of thought into imagining how a disabled aroace with serious self-worth issues would interact with the world and improve herself — or, at least realized after some experience writing Lilith that being aroace fit her, and let that inform much of her Season 2 arc.

Like, maybe I'm personally extra desperate for disabled a-specs in media, but honestly? Lilith is a well-written one in all aspects but the lack of an onscreen "I've never felt attraction to someone" — and you don't have to agree with me, but I'll die on the hill that that all counts for something.

No hate to OP — if you know what post I'm vagueing about, be chill and normal about it, please. It's fine for some people not to feel represented, and put their thoughts out there — but it also seems that I, as a person who feels very represented, should put out some of my own thoughts for balance.

#the owl house #lilith clawthorne #toh meta

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omegalomania · 2 months

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What are some of your favorite aro-/ace-coded fob lyrics?

oh fuck yes a little bowl of seeds just for me

boycott love from disloyal order of water buffaloes is a personal favorite of mine. its a lyric i really really want tattooed at some point. that's not the only lyric i latch onto from an aro perspective but it's probably the biggest one

basically the entirety of it's hard to say "i do" when i don't but a special mention goes to you are appealing to emotions that i simply do not have as well as the only ring i want buried with me are the ones around my eyes

it's true romance is dead / i shot it in the chest and in the head from the music or the misery is also a favorite of mine, also just that whole song in general

i thought i loved you but it was just how you looked in the light in hum hallelujah resonates with a lot of queer folks i've found, and it's no different for me

same goes for it's a strange way of saying that i know i'm supposed to love you from g.i.n.a.s.f.s.

i'm outside the door, invite me in / so we can go back and play pretend from alone together brings me back to when i was trying to perform heteronormativity/amatonormativity even if it was making me miserable

i also hold to a very similar vibe with she said "i love you 'till i don't" / i am just playing house, no idea what i'm doing now from sunshine riptide and also most of burna boy's verse, frankly. i fell in love but i didn't fall down and feel like i'm bulletproof, baby in particular

american beauty/american psycho, particularly the first verse. i think i fell in love again / maybe i just took too much cough medicine

golden is a big one for queer folks in general i've found. the chorus especially hits hard from an aro and/or ace reading. and i saw god cry in the reflection of my enemies / and all the lovers with no time for me

i've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth is a heavy song no matter how you slice it. but that chorus gets to me in particular: we can fake it for the airwaves / force our smiles, baby, half-dead / from comparing myself to everyone else around me

the kids aren't alright reads to me as one big anthem for platonic love above anything romantic, which resonates super hard with me. the second verse has a lot of good lines that i latch onto from an aroace lens too. your love is anemic and i can't believe / that you couldn't see it coming from me

pretty much the whole chorus of HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON'T does it for me, and those verses have got some good aroallo vibes too! i never really feel a thing... confidants but never friends...

the whole of fake out is a gimme. that chorus rings real true. starts with love is in the air, i just gotta find a window to break out and finishing with but it was all a fake-out

i've got all this ringing in my ears and none on my fingers is one that has another highly applicable title but the whole refrain of the truth hurts worse / than anything i could bring myself to do to you paired with the one-two punch of that second verse REALLY gets under my skin

and of course, the culminating one: you are what you love, not who loves you from save rock and roll. obviously there are a LOT of ways to read that line

there are a couple other songs i latch onto - wilson (expensive mistakes); a little less "sixteen candles", a little more "touch me"; the (after) life of the party to name a few - but the ones listed above are the big lyrics that resonate with me on a personal level

just in general i have a shitton of fob over on my aro playlist (which doubles as a general aroace/queer playlist but has a lot of emphasis on aromanticism) in case i forgot to mention anything but like i said those are the big ones

#askin hours #anon #happy aro awareness week lol ive had this in my drafts for mONTHS and forgot about it #sorry it took so long to answer i have a million asks in my inbox and just do not have time most days #go listen to aromanticism by moses sumney for black history month and aro awareness week btw #now THAT there is an album that rewrote my neural chemistry

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izpira-se-zlato · 3 months

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I've been thinking about the Jance photoshoot and oof do I have Thoughts but -- okay, an attempt to explain why this photoshoot really speaks to me.

I've seen a bunch of different takes float across my dash, but to me the core of this photoshoot is the portrayal of a very deep bond between two men without fully specifying what kind of bond it is. The message I get from their pictures, from Jan looking into the camera (almost?) defiantly while Nace looks serious to the two of them looking at each other and only each other, is "This is us. This is our relationship. What kind? Well, none of your business, but we're not hiding it and we won't help you put us into a definitive drawer."

Since this got long, more thoughts under the cut

And, like -- there's so many layers to this shoot? So many ways to read this as an utter fucking power move, and I'm just. Really touched.

So. Layer one is kind of what I pulled from the art earlier, saying, "you may get to see us be intimate and close, barely hidden behind a glass door (= lack of privacy), but at the end of the day, we decide how much we share. And even if you get these intimate glimpses, you do not get all of me (= him half-hidden behind his hair and/or Nace)"

So what do we glimpse? Well, that's where it gets delicious imo. Because it could be read as non-sexual and non-romantic, so just platonic. Non-sexual intimacy is still pretty rarely portrayed, especially between men, and that goes double for non-romantic intimacy. And so as someone on the aroace-spectrum, that speaks to me so so much.

it's also such a fuck you against Toxic Masculinity -- that they can be this vulnerable together, that they don't mind showing -- that they're actually showing off to -- the world that they're this vulnerable with each other. Just. Intimacy and trust and closeness; laughing together and seeing each other and presenting a united front against the world (= the viewer).

I've long-since wondered if Nace is Jan's emotional support bassist -- if they're each other's comfort people, which would track with them doing this shoot together, presenting themselves in front of the camera together. "I'm doing this, putting myself out there, because with you by my side it feels doable."

And just. The fact that it can be read as queer and they clearly don't mind is also stunning regardless of if they are actually queer and/or actually in a relationship. They know what the fandom thinks. They know what this will look like. And yet -- no "no homo", no "bradders"; just unabashed joy in each other's presence and standing together -- and it's not escaped my notice that it's Jan having Nace's back, fixing the camera with a look of, if you touch him, I'll end you.

And if it is an affirmation that they're queer/together? Then holy shit, what a power move.

Just. I think this is a piece of art that's really resonating because I can see myself in so many of these layers and that's just so powerful. Damon is a pretty good photographer, from what I've picked up, and so I think this is not an accident; I think this series of photos confirms exactly as much and as little as he wants it to. And in the gaps in between, which I understand is something art does, we have space to see ourselves and engage with the artwork in our own ways.

Because at the end of the day, as raw and as candid as these shots look, this isn't an unfiltered version of them. It is them, at least in part, but it's art. It's a performance. It's something we can construct narratives out of (which, probably surprising no one, is something I really enjoy), but we're still engaging with the performance, not the real people underneath. But it still takes guts to give yourself over to that performance, and that is what might move me the most, gorgeous and stunning pictures and all.

The fact that they stepped forward and said, "This is us. Make of it what you will."

#joker out #jfc this got long #jan peteh #nace jordan #nace ja jan #jance #damon baker #this shoot is not an accident #but it is an interesting marketing technique #to kill their fanbase just before the release of a new single #model!jan #model!nace #jo model era #jo in london #isz speaks

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an-asexual-infp · 2 months

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My thoughts on how part of the Hazbin Hotel fandom treat Alastor

(I apologize for any grammatical mistakes, I'm not fluent)

I have seen a few posts and Tumblr and Tiktok, who makes me, an aroace person, really uncomfortable. (I will talk about the shipping, but I can also talk about the mistaken views of his character in an other post).

Like, I'm sorry but I don't understand why people ship Alastor with other characters for multiple reasons :

1) He is comfirmed asexual in the show and aroace by the VA and Viv. 2) He is showed to hate (or strongly dislikes) at least two of the charcters he's shipped with (like Vox & Lucifer), rejects strongly the idea of "going at it" with Angel (I feel like he's disgusted by the idea)

3) The show portray his relationships with women as sweet friendships (Rosie and Mitzy) and even father-daughter like with Niffty and possibly Charlie. So purely platonic.

4) YES, I know, Aroace people can date but Alastor clearly doesn't show interest to be with someone in these ways. Also, I can't help but feel like some people use this sentence as an excuse to disregard his preferences and do whatever they want. Like drawing fanart or writing fanfics of him having romantic feelings and attraction and/or having $ex with characters like Lucifer and Vox (or readers). Wich I think is pretty disrespectful not only regarding the previous points concerning Alastor but also considering the fact that it's earsing our already rare representation.

However, I don't have any problem with queer platonic relationship, as long as they don't earase the characters sexuality(ies) and preference(s).

I also found the ideas of Alastor and Rosie marrying for taxes purposes + Alastor and Lucifer co-parenting Charlie while beefing with each other HILARIOUS.

But we should also remember how Alastor can be (and IS) malicious, sadistic, petty and most likely manipulate people (like Charlie). I love him but he's not (just) a little guy XD

Conclusion : we should respect his character and what he is supposed to be.

Thanks for reading, I tried to not write to much so it won't be tiring to read, but I got carried away. :)

#hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor the radio demon #aroace #aromantic #asexual #alastor aroace #hazbin hotel spoilers

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callofdudes · 10 months

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I don’t know if you’ve been asked this before, but could you do your own take on an AceReader who loves the boys (all 141 guys and König) but feels like they can’t tell them that as they don’t feel Sexually attracted to them? But the boys don’t care (Or knew that already) and they just want to be happy with them? I would love to read how you would go about it <3

I messed up the ask for this one and didn't read it properly. It's really hot here guys I'm not processing things right I guess. But if you want to see the same thing with the actual prompt above you can for it here!

Telling them you love them (platonic)

Summary: Aroace reader struggles to tell the boys they love them with the fear of not actually being romantically or sexually attracted to them. (Different prompt than above :/)

Love has always been a point of tension for you. People sometimes didn't agree with how you chose to live your life. One thing that was practically shoved down your throat was that you cannot say, or express any kind of romantically portrayed affection to anyone you weren't attracted to. You wanted to tell the boys you loved them, but you weren't sexually attracted to them. You didn't want them to take it bad or misunderstand...

Ghost 💀

You knew Ghost wasn't keen on love. He wasn't really keen on anything. So attempting to tell him you loved and appreciated him without being given a glare and a smack in the face was hard.

You usually kept to buying him gifts on the occasion, aiming to finish the paperwork he gave you early. But it all never felt like real appreciation.

You didn't want Ghost thinking that you were into him. Because that just wasn't it. You were sure he was a very attractive man, but he was your friend.

It was easier just to write him a note, put down all your complicated emotions on paper and hope he would understand. And you dropped it in his office, worried he would freak out and yell at you for everything you said.

You were looking at documents on your computer when Ghost came into your office, completely unannounced.

"Sergeant."

"Oh- lieutenant!"

He holds up the note, placing it gently on your desk. You look down, immediately feeling ashamed of what you wrote. You wanted to cower away, not knowing how he would react. Would he be mad?? He obviously thought you liked him by the way he came in.

"I'm not mad."

You flick your eyes back up, still feeling ashamed of the things you'd written.

"But I don't... Well, y'know."

"It's not like that..." You mutter, suddenly afraid to look up at him. Ghost's stance softens, voice getting a bit calmer.

"I know it's not." He steps forward and reaches out his hand, gently ruffling your hair.

You frown, looking up at him. "I love you... Just platonically. I just didn't know how to tell you..."

"Yes sergeant, I understand. Don't worry."

You smile, feeling relief fill you. "You gonna say it back??"

He huffs. "Maybe one day."

"I'll take that." You smiled and squeezed his hand. "You're a good friend Ghost. Really, you are."

The man hummed and nodded, squeezing your hand back. "Thank you I guess... You're not too bad yourself."

You chuckle and stand, eagerly embracing him. "I love you, Simon."

He tensed, but patted your back gently. "I know. Thank you."

Gaz 🧢

Gaz was quiet and reserved. Not like Ghost, but he was a private person. He preferred most of his time alone and you often wondered how Soap managed to drag him into such a tight knit friendship.

But you'd also grown close to Gaz. He wasn't as good with expressing his feelings in words he thought fit, so he just tried not to.

But you knew him for him. The music he liked, the movies and the bands. You two would spend hours just laughing and talking together in the quietness of the base, the best of friends.

You have wanted to express to Gaz how much you love him for a while now. But considering both of you couldn't get a grasp for proper words, you were afraid he would misunderstand.

You were waiting by the cargo station, knee bouncing as you waited for the plane to open. Their mission had been met with problems and there was a slim chance they'd all come back alive.

When you saw Gaz you immediately ran to him, pulling him into your arms and hugging him tightly. "Oh thank goodness."

Gaz was a little surprised but hugged you back. You both stood there like that for a bit until you said it, you didn't care. You'd bottled it in in fear for so long, and you'd almost lost him. You almost lost your best friend. "I love you so much."

Gaz didn't question it. Didn't dig into it. He only held you tighter, reassuring you he loved you back, and he wasn't going anywhere. There wasn't any need for clarification, there just was. Just two best friends so glad to be back with each other.

"You should get cleaned up. I'll make you some tea as well."

Gaz smiles. "You're awesome, thank you."

And without a second thought you both parted ways for a time.

Price 🥃

Price was a warm yet harsh soul. You'd known him for a couple years and he'd been amazing guidance for you. Always a light you could follow. In the darkest of times you could always reach for his hand and be assured you'd find it.

After a recent mission you'd come back a little scratched up. You thought you were going to die and were in tears when you walked over to Price, feeling his arms wrap around you to comfort you.

He hadn't been there with you that time. But you were relieved to be back. Even when he pulled you into his office to clean your face you were still softly crying.

"It's alright sergeant, I've got you..." Price reassured as he pressed the alcohol pad to your chin.

You sniffled, wiping a tear from your cheek. "Price??"

"Yes sergeant. I'm right here."

You sniffle. "You know I love you right?"

He looks deep into your eyes, taking a moment to process your body language and fully understand. "I love you too sergeant. I'm glad you're ok."

You nodded a little. "You... You know it's not sexual right? I'm sorry if..." You asked weakly.

"I know kiddo, I know." He patted your shoulder. "Come here, you're still a little shaken up aren'tcha?"

You nod and crawl into his arms, feeling him hug you tightly. "It's alright. I'm here."

"I love you Price." You choked out again. He softly shushed you, keeping you in his arms. "I know kiddo, I know."

Soap 🧼

Johnny was not unfamiliar with your secrets. He knew you very well and had come to learn of your lack of romantic attraction to others. Didn't change how he saw you, you were still his bestie.

He himself was conflicted in if he should tell you that he loves you. Even if it was meant to be platonic he didn't know how you might take it and wanted to remain respectful of you and your boundaries.

You laid on his bed with him, listening and joking as he told you a story about setting off a small bomb near the recruit bathrooms.

He was laughing so hard his face turned red, smiling wide as his hand brushed across yours while trying to find air.

You smiled back, gently taking his hand in yours. "Soap??" You look up at him with a slightly less whimsy gaze, contemplating the heaviness of your next words.

He slowly calmed down and looked at you. "What is it??" He could see the look in your eye and shuffled closer, getting slightly into your bubble without realizing.

You felt comfortable with him. So incredibly comfortable. All those years fretting and worrying what he'd think. All you saw right now was the smile of your best friend and how much you loved him...

"Soap, I just want you to know... You're my best friend and.." you squeeze his hand. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I love you."

John is a little quiet for a moment. "You do??"

His frown makes you worry as you rush to explain you don't mean it romantically. You just really love him as a friend and everything about him.

It makes a smile spread across his face. He takes your hand and places if against his chest. "You are the most amazing friend in the whole world y/n. I don't know what I'd ever do without you. I love you too."

You smile softly, happy to have said it. "Now tell me what happened with that buzzer." And you two jumped back into conversation.

König 🐙

You sighed, bouncing your knee in agitation. The thought of your first solo mission... You'd be lying if you said it wasn't daunting. You'd always gone on missions with König or different members from KorTac. But you'd never been assigned your own mission.

You started to question if you'd be good enough and could get home ok. It made you worry, if you'd ever come back.

You were wrapped up in your thoughts, not noticing the large figure who sat down next to you, leaning over to look at your face. "What has you looking like that y/n?"

You looked up at the sound of his voice and sighed. "I'm just nervous about the mission..."

He nodded understandingly and took your hand in his. "You'll be alright. I do not doubt your abilities one bit you know. You'll do it."

You chuckle softly. "You say that now but... What if I get hurt??"

"Then I'll come find you." He squeezes your hand. "But you will be alright."

You nod. "König? You know... You've really been a good friend. And you've helped me grow so much since I've been here... I really don't know what I'd do without you here with me."

He tutted softly. "Do not start writing the words for your obituary, y/n."

You sigh, leaning against his shoulder, relishing the last hours you have with him before you'll be sent off. "I... I love you König... You know that? You're everything to me. My best friend and-"

"Shh" he squeezes your hand. "Take some deep breaths." He smiles softly. "I love you too, but do not expect you to be going anywhere soon. Ok?"

You relax, seeing how it wasn't a big deal. Just two friends against the world with nothing to lose but each other. "Ok."

Alejandro & Rudy.

Alejandro sighed loudly, flopping down on the couch next to you and Rodolfo.

"Well well, welcome back Mr. Vargas." You chuckle, putting down your phone to see his tired expression. "How did it go?" Rodolfo asked lazily, eyes still trained on his book, curled up on the couch, his thigh against yours.

"I'm so glad to be off my feet." Alejandro sighed, grabbing the tv remote and turned it on, flipping through the shows before finding something to play.

He gets back up again and wanders into the kitchen, grabbing three ice cold drinks, tossing the other two to you guys who eagerly catch them and crack them open.

Alejandro huffs when he sits back down, taking a swig and finally relaxing. "Glad to be back with my two favorite people."

You and the boys were close enough and comfortable enough that you were ok with their physical touch, so you were used to Alejandro wrapping a respectful arm around your shoulder and you'd usually end up snuggled up, giving Rodolfo the room to join when he wanted.

Today was no different as you snuggled up to his side and felt his warmth. "Geez, maybe you need a bath. And you smell fuckin' awful." You snort.

Rodolfo chuckles and nods. "I can smell you from here Ale."

The man only rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Ya both better appreciate my presence. It's a gift."

You snuggled closer. "You work really hard for us Alejandro. You deserve all the rest today." You smile and hug his waist. You really did appreciate him. The fear and the worry of what he might think, of how he'd feel if you ever expressed it... But you went for it. You wanted him to know how much you appreciated him.

"I love you, Ale. Like I said, you're an amazing friend and you support us so much. Working your butt off like this just so we get a few hours off."

He looks down, a little surprised, but smiled softly. "I love you too y/n, I'm glad to have you at my side."

You stick out your foot, bumping your feet against Rodolfo's. "You too mister!" He looks up and smiles. "You are a good friend y/n, it's a blessing to have you with us."

"Then come here you, get in on the cuddles."

Rodolfo huffs and puts down his book, but curls up with you two as you all watch the show. Nothing better than spending time with your two favorite people.

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xshybutdeadlyx · 2 months

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Questions for the demiromantic and demisexuals out there

Ok, so I've recently found this term thanks to an aroace character from a show I watched. I knew of the sexuality but I didn't really know the specifics because I always thought I was bi but now looking into it I didn't know how aroace was like a literal umbrella and there was so much more to it then meets the eye. Which I'm 30 I feel like I should know more than what I do. But with doing research into it trying to understand it better, I learned about all the terms, and I learned about demiromantic and demisexual and it really resonated with me. But I wanted to ask for advice, I guess? Like I like romance I love reading it seeing art and what have you but when it comes to romance for myself I'm not a big fan? And maybe it's because I literally have to unlearn so much romance equals a, b, and c when that's not really true. I literally been in only one relationship in my life and it consisted of hand holding small kisses (no tongue, honestly I have an ick with spit and the only reason I "wanted" to do deeper kisses with the boyfriend I had at the time was because I felt like it was a requirement) but I honestly didn't feel attraction towards him until after getting to know him and being friends with him for months well into almost a year. And he's the only one I ever felt that way for I hardly ever had crushes or when I did I almost kinda forced myself into having them if that makes sense? It was "natural," and every kid was supposed to have crushes. Nothing ever came from the "crushes" though.

Now, like I said, I'm well into my 30s, and the relationship I just mentioned was the only relationship romantic wise I've ever had. I have had strong feelings for two of the friends I have but one friend is straight as they come and the other is married lol the one that is married though we have a strong bond that I wouldn't trade anything for. She tickles my hand, and she lets me cuddle her all the time, and we just spend nights just playing games together, just like when we were in high school. I love her so damn much, and I'll cherish what we have even when we are both dead and gone. She is my forever person.

Sorry, I went into a mini rant about my platonic love, but she's the best, and when I start talking about her, I have to gush lol, but anyways back to my sexuality crisis

So anyways, when there is even a chance of someone having an interest in me, I honestly kind of freak out. Or like if someone tries to set me up with someone, red neon flashing warning signs pop up for me. I don't know that person, and honestly, I get put off by big romantic gestures. Like, I appreciate it, but I don't think it's necessary? Can we just go get McDonald's, sit in the parking lot, and just shoot the shit? Play some games? We can watch movies or shows too.

I've also been on the dating websites and such as well, and I'm just always immediately put off. "Hello beautiful," ugh. "Insert pickup line here." please God why. "Unsolicited romantic or sexual advances right after a day of talking." Haha, no. There was literally one guy I thought was cool and we kinda flirted but it was really just talking everyday about the games we were playing I feel like if given time a connection could of been built but he ended up finding someone else immediately. Which honestly was fine I was kinda bummed but like if he wanted romance immediately, I wasn't gonna be giving that to him. I wanted to still be friends, but apparently, we had "too much history," so he ended up blocking me. lol oh well.

I've also literally only have had two "crushes" in like in a 5 year time span (only because this is what I can remember lol) one of em was so goofy and seemed so fun but then it seems like they turned out to be very self absorbed instantly done the other had baby mama drama wasn't into that. Honestly, those things seem to be things that could be worked through? Maybe? But once I just see something off-putting, it's all I see, which seems more like a personal thing because of past traumas.

As of now I'm honestly content with no romantic relationship but I feel like I do want one but I don't want one with just anyone and it just doesn't seem like many people out there are willing to wait or willing to be friends first and want to hop into relationships immediately when I very much don't. It takes me a while to be comfortable with people, and I want to get to know them as a person.

For a long time I felt like I just wasn't doing things right or that I had to actually change something that I was doing. I thought I was wrong or that I should just force myself into the uncomfortable situation of being someone's girlfriend immediately but then if it turns out I just don't have those romantic feelings then there the whole process of hurting them which is just anxiety inducting.

Also, with all that I'm saying, it does go into the demisexual portion, too. I've still never been with someone sexually because even in the one relationship I have had, I haven't met someone I've trusted to give myself to. The thought of one night stands or anything of the like just makes me wanna crawl into myself. I don't mind anything sexual but I want to be with someone sexually that I trust and care about with my whole being, not some dude Craig or some chick Wendy from Tinder. I'm content with that, but a lot of the times, I'm almost made to feel bad because I haven't done anything sexual. But boy, can I read all the smut on Ao3. Like it all in theory, but dunno about in practice lol I just don't have much of a drive in general, but I don't know if that's just because I've never been with anyone before? I keep getting told, "As soon as you're with someone, your sex drive changes," and like, does that shit really happen? Lol

All in all, I really feel connected to the terms demiromantic and demisexual. Even when I just said I'm bi, it just never felt right, but for once, I feel like I finally found something that I felt connected to and finally found me. But I guess I also wanna feel like I'm right in assuming so? I dunno I feel like it'd be disrespectful in using a label that isn't really you? Which doesn't sound right because everyone has the right to find themselves, and sometimes people go through a list until they finally find themselves, which is what's happening to me right now. But my feelings also just get jumbled up and I have a hard time distinguishing what's been conditioned in me, like how you date, you get into a relationship, ya do couple things, then you get married ect. When all I wanna do is get to know you, really know you, then actually date but even then I feel like a lot of my stuff is more on the platonic end? Like, I like cuddling and kissing, and I do like romance but on a more tame level? I kick my feet when reading "he bought her all these extravagant gifts then he swept her off her feet and dipped her into a kiss" so cute but like if I was actually in that situation like bro put me down for real and I'm so awkward when given gifts lol

I dunno I'd just would really like to discuss this with others who have found themselves because I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this. I've talked to my friends and they of course support me and love me but I feel like they don't really get it? And my family just chalks it up to " Ya just don't have a lot of experience it'll all change when ya get out there and mingle with people"

Thanks in advance for reading all this if ya made it this far I know it's a lot of word vomit as I like to call it but I don't have very organized thoughts and I just kinda write what I'm thinking in the moment lol

#aroace #demisexual #demiromantic

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gaytventhusiast · 21 days

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Labels, Asexuality, Aromanticism and Headcanon.

I need to just get this off my chest because it's a common trend I've noticed in a couple fandoms I'm in and I think it needs to be discussed. Of course I'm open to discussion on this. There's a chance I'm wrong.

Something about the way fandom treats s/x repulsed characters in media just sits with me bad. In multiple fandoms I've been in now, I've witnessed a clearly stated canonically s/x repulsed asexual character be put into 'intimate' situations under guise of a 's/x positive' interpretation. What bothers me, personally, is that these characters don't and would never. One example is with Jonathan Sims from The Magnus Archives. I have accidentally stumbled across explicit fics involving him before that are tagged 's/x positive asexual Jonathan Sims'. But the thing about him is that at no point in the podcast is he even mentioned to be asexual. In fact, the information you get about him is actually that he simply doesn't. That is all you know, that he doesn't, ever. And yet, due to the nuances of the asexual label and the fact that that description of Jon technically puts him under it, folks have been using those technicalities to put him into scenarios he never would enter into. As much as I hate to say it, it almost feels like there's a sort of s/x repulsed asexual erasure going on within the aspec community. And for context, this is coming from an aspec who is positive about that kind of intimacy. This is not just limited to asexuality either. I've also witnessed this happening to aromantic characters with fandom putting them in 'queer platonic relationships' that read as romantic ones. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a platonic pairing, in fact, I'm all for it. But time and time again I see sappy art with blushing or otherwise romantic undertones and I feel... just sort of weird about it. I understand where this all comes from. People have a desire to see themselves in characters and I respect that. But you can do that without the erasure of both asexuals and aromatics that simply do not. When it comes to being aro and/or ace, I recognise that, I, as someone who, although aspec, is still is open to relationships and 'intimacy', am far less scrutinised for it by society than those who aren't. And although sadly there is barely any representation in media for the kind of aspec I am, it doesn't mean that it feels okay to erase other asexual identities and their representation in the process. Summary: So this is all to say. It personally makes me uncomfortable when I see Repulsed Asexual and Aromatic characters turned pseudo-s/xual and romantic by the fans through the use of Label Nuances and Technicalities. (Note: This is not intended to be an attack on anyone personally. I simply think it's a much needed to be discussed topic that I've noticed happening more and more recently) On a more positive note: For anyone looking for aspec representation that involves a character who loves the idea of romance and has experienced giddy feelings in the past but comes to the realisation they might be aromantic through the help of an aroace friend, go listen to The Penumbra Podcast season 4 episode 'Rita Minute 4: 4Ever Love'. I've never felt so seen in terms of my sexuality before. It's an underrated gem of an aspec central minisode.

#cw: sex mention #asexual #aromantic #aroace #opinion #media #tma #hazbin hotel #open to discussion #yes this is also about Alastor from hazbin hotel #I know he's a tumblr sexyman but that doesn't make him a tumblr sexman #gaytventhusing

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prince-liest · 11 days

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I feel like this is a risky question but if you don’t want to answer you know what to do. Reading 666 I questioned so many things on love and relationships that I’d already started to question before, but not to such extent. Inevitably this led to a talk with my psychologist (you know how people joke “my therapist will hear about you” well yeah that happened) and asked her what’s the difference between romantic and platonic love if we exclude social expectations. To this she replied it’s sexual chemistry you can have with more than one person, and nothing more. Beside that, it’s technically still just “platonic”. The more I think about it the more sense it makes. In which case, I wanna ask if you agree as an aroace, and in the terms of 666 does that technically mean Alastor loves Vox in that sense? I think you’ve said before he wouldn’t go as far with anyone else, so I guess I’m asking you if he feels genuine sexual chemistry with him, because I do have a hard time figuring that out while reading (unreliable narrator is my enemy) and most of the time I’m even more confused than Vox is on how much Alastor is enjoying anything sex related

I have a couple of things to say about this one, haha. It was interesting to think about, and I'm admittedly more delighted than I should be that I've made it into someone's therapy session, hahaha.

Firstly, I disagree with your psych about how to define romantic love and I think the same would go for a ton of people both aro and allo. "Friends with benefits" is a known concept that is different from "romantic partner" for a reason, and I don't think we'd have so many "we started out friends with benefits but, oh no, we caught feelings down the line, how unexpected!" romance plotlines if friends with benefits was the same thing as a romance apart from social expectations. Also, this way of describing non-platonic love makes it impossible for non-aro ace people to love romantically purely by definition, and I think many non-aro ace folks would disagree with that.

Secondly, Alastor isn't sexually attracted to Vox in 666 regardless. He enjoys the things they do, which is very different. Not to get too clinical about it, but he doesn't even tend to experience sexual arousal unless they're getting up to the very specific type of acts that he's personally into, which is why every time Alastor is taking on the dominant role his internal narration is pretty much just going on about wanting to eat Vox whole - it's entirely a non-sexual sadism thing for him, even if Vox is still getting off. It's possible to enjoy sexual activities for reasons other than sexual gratification, and that's about 80% of what Alastor gets out of their encounters.

If you want to see what it looks like when I write from the POV of a character who is sexually attracted to their partner as a point of comparison, I recommend reading How to Bag an Angel: Take That, Depression! and then contrasting that to Alastor's internal narrative in the 666 chapter where he fucks Vox. But as a straight answer, I write Alastor as a character who sometimes gets off on being forced into submission/humiliation, and not really all that much else.

I think defining romantic vs platonic feelings can be very personal, and both psychologists and philosophers have been trying to do it for ages, so it's something that you kind of have to define for yourself - but that's my view on it as pertains to this fic, at least! I hope that was helpful!

#ask #personal #Anonymous #nsft #666 live on air #hazbin hotel #my writing

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an-obsessed-cactus · 12 days

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I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

#lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbtq community #queer #queerplatonic #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aromantism #asexuality #omnisexual

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normal-sea-urchin · 4 months

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AROACE MUTANT MAYHEM MIKEY ONSHOT

lo and behold, i actually wrote a fic i said i would. this is fairly rushed and it might seem a bit ooc, but here y'all go, hope you enjoy

"Aro-huh?" Mikey asked. He was at the improv comedy club meeting, talking with a girl named Renet. She had clear, dark skin and black hair with electric blue highlights. She was wearing a white ascot around her neck, with a sparkly blue jumpsuit, which matched her blue eyes.

"Aroace. It's where you don't feel any romantic or sexual attraction." she explained. The two had gotten on the topic of being aroace when Mikey complimented her pride pin on her backpack and asked what the flag meant.

"Hmm." Mikey hummed. Aroace, he thought to himself. "Cool." he responded. "So wait, does that mean that you don't date anybody?"

"Well, I don't," Renet began, "but other aroace people might date. They might be curious, or they might be on the asexual or aromantic spectrums, they might be in a QPR. There's a bunch of different reasons why an aroace person might date someone."

"Huh, rad!" Mikey exclaimed.

"Mikey! Renet! You're up!" the head of the club called.

_______________________

Mikey laid in bed, staring at the ceiling of his bunk. His brothers had all fallen asleep a while ago. The term aroace had been bouncing around his head since Renet mentioned it earlier that day. Was he aroace? He couldn't really remember having any crushes on people when he was younger. But he also didn't really know anyone other than his brothers and father when they were younger. Come to think of it, what exactly did romantic love feel like?

Maybe he just hadn't found the right person yet. He didn't want to use the term aroace if he wasn't aroace. Maybe he would give it some time and see if he even caught feels for anyone at school. Yeah. He would do that.

_______________________

Not even five minutes passed and Mikey was on his phone, googling the term aroace.

"Aromantic asexual people are colloquially known as "aro-ace" or "aroace". Aromantic individuals are also able to experience platonic love and may have committed friendships, and some form intimate non-romantic partnerships called "queerplatonic relationships"." it read. Hmm. Mikey rested his phone on his plastron and stared up at the ceiling, thinking for a moment. Aroace. Aroace. Hmm.

_______________________

"Hey Renet!" Mikey had run into her the next day at school. Well not exactly "ran into". He was looking for her; and thus, he had found her rummaging through her locker.

"Oh, hey Mikey! How's it hanging?" she responded, closing her locker and turning to face Mikey.

"Uhhh, so quick question." the turtle explained.

"What's up?" she smiled.

"Uh, so how did you know you were aroace?" he questioned.

"Oh, uh!" Her eyes widened with shock. God dammit, that wasn't an offensive question, was it? "Well I guess I realized it when I first heard about it a year ago. I had thought I was pan for a long time cause I didn't really have a preference or gender. But, as it would turn out, I didn't have a preference cause I didn't romantically like anyone."

"Hmm. Okay." he waited a moment before continuing. "I think I might be aroace." he admitted.

"Oh! For real?" he nodded. "That's so rad! Congrats on coming out dude!" she perked up. Mikey took a moment to process before responding.

"Uh, well I'm not sure if I'm aroace. So..." he trailed off, hanging his head down. Wow, Renet had really pretty shoes. Were those platform heels?

"Oh. Well you can use the term aroace if it makes you comfortable, if that's what you're worried about." she reassured.

"Hmm," Mikey took a moment to think before smiling widely, tilting his head up to face Renet. "Yeah, I think I will. I'm aroace!" he declared proudly.

#tmnt #tmnt mm mikey #tmnt mm #aroace #spreading my aroace mikey agenda #tmnt renet #tmnt mm renet #fanfic

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mhizzberry · 3 months

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hey this might sound weird but im currently writing a story that heavily involves talking about the experience of being aroace. i js wanna be as accurate and inclusive as possible so if you could share some thoughts or experiences you think should be included that would be literally incredible

thanks! <3

Hello! I appreciate that you're approaching actual aspec people for your story! That's already a good first step in making sure they're represented well 👍 But I would also like to preface that I'm just one of many aspec people, and just like any other person in the queer community, our experiences and opinions vary! So I recommend listening to other aspec voices aside from my own :)

That said though, I think a huge thing about the aspec experience is having to constantly face amatonormativity, which is the belief/assumption that EVERYBODY pursues romantic relationships, especially to get married in the end. In a world that constantly pushes you to have a romantic partner, otherwise you'll "end up sad and unfulfilled in life", it's annoying at best and isolating at worst for someone who just doesn't prioritize or want that, y'know? This is what I would consider a common challenge in being aspec.

(although, amatonormativity hurts EVERYONE, regardless if they're aspec or not. I suggest reading the article "Amatonormativity: The damaging pedestal of romantic love" for a basic understanding of that point. You can also look into Elizabeth Brake's 2011 book about it entitled "Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law", since she coined the term!)

To subvert that though, one thing that makes me happy about being aspec is the realization that I don't need romance or sexual relationships to be happy! Picture this: I'm surrounded by peers who sulk and pout that they don't have a romantic partner. I'm surrounded by peers who yearn for their crushes to like them back (even though they never interacted with them. whats wrong with you /lh). I have peers that sometimes even openly confess how sexually frustrated they are. But in my case, I'm already satisfied with the platonic relationships that I have; I don't want + need anything else. And I honestly feel empowered by that fact. ("hashtag unbothered" as they say.)

So, yeah! That's a gist of my personal experience as an aspec person. Again, I'm just one of many, so keep looking into other aroace experiences! But I'm sure you'll eventually find common themes to include in your story. Good luck!

#i'm no expert but i hope this helps!#Mhizzy's Reply #skateisawesome #Asexual #Aromantic #AroAce #Aspec #amatonormativity

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itscubetime · 11 months

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Honestly, I fee like a lot of Osemanverse fans treat the books rather unequally. Let me explain.

I'm going to make a ranked list of all of Alice Oseman's books/series in order from most loved to least loved (based on my observations in social media and the availability of different books). I hold no biases in this list, since I have read/watched all of them. Only observations and some opinions.

Heartstopper. I'm pretty sure most people who have heard of the Osemanverse heard about Heartstopper first. You can find elements of this series everywhere, from all the webcomic platforms like Webtoon and Tapas, to the physical books in bookstores and libraries, to reposts of favourite moments, to the piles upon piles of fan-art and, of course, to the Netflix adaptation, which had immaculate casting and has already been green-lighted for two more seasons. I think this series deserves to be high up on the list - after all, the representation is casual and exemplified in the right places, nothing feels forced, the love story is healthy, but no so perfect that it's entirely unrealistic and the characters all have their spotlight moments. However, I feel like the series sometimes overshadows the other books, which I find interesting, considering this is the only book/series that is centred around a romantic love story.

Solitaire. This is probably the most well-known YA novel for a couple of reasons. One, it is the debut novel, the one that is praised in the front cover of every other Oseman novel, with the familiar phrase 'The Cather in the Rye for the digital age', so most Osemanverse fans have heard of it. Two, it's the novel that ties in with the Heartstopper story the most, by far, especially considering that the main character of Solitaire, Tori Spring, is the older sister of Charlie Spring, one of the main characters in Heartstopper. Three, its depiction of mental health issues, particularly Tori's implied depression, is healthy, realistic and educational. Overall, it deserves the love it gets, especially considering how dark it can get compared to Heartstopper.

Radio Silence. Honestly, I think that this could be tied with Solitaire in some cases - it was, after all, the book that first introduced me to the Osemanverse. It doesn't link with the Heartstopper universe as much as Solitaire, but it does focus more on Aled Last, one of the side characters in Heartstopper, and one of Charlie's friends, although it appears that the two drift off before the events of Radio Silence. I absolutely love this book for two reasons. One, the amazing relationship between Frances and Aled, the two main characters, never goes beyond anything platonic, showing that a boy and a girl don't have to be in a romantic relationship to thrive together. Two, it's the first book in the Osemanverse that shows explicit ace rep - better yet, demi rep - for Aled, which was so nice to read even before I began questioning if I was aspec. I love the cameos it gets in Heartstopper too, especially with Aled in the same shot lol.

Loveless. I'm so mad that this book is so far down the list, but I understand that's because it's the latest one. Firstly, PLEASE READ IT!!!! It follows the first-person perspective of Georgia Warr on her journey to discovering that she is aroace. This book has done wonders for the aspec community in giving them awesome representation and increased attention from the rest of the community, because yes! we exist and yes! us being aspec doesn't mean our lives are sad and lonely and YES! not all love has to come in romantic form!!!!! The fact that Oseman was alluding to their own uni experience in this story is just so amazing! Secondly, it deserves so much more attention in the Osemanverse fandom. Oseman put her whole heart and soul into this book and we are gonna love it like it deserves!!!

I Was Born for This. And now, we come across the book with the least amount of copies sold, available in the least amount of places and talked about the least in the fandom, despite it literally being about the fandom (eyyyy). This was the only novel I had to buy because it wasn't at my library (edit: it is now but it wasn't before) and none of my friends had it, but it is so good and criminally underrated. I understand every other story has something going for it. Heartstopper has impactful rep, Solitaire is the debut novel, Radio silence has Aled and the Universe City and Loveless has aroace rep. However, this book deserves love too!!! It focuses on the chaotic mess of fandoms and the impact it can have on the* artists behind the content, because gaining fame doesn't automatically make everything better, in fact it can make thing worse, like with Jimmy's anxiety. The story also having a muslim MC is also really awesome to see, especially since I haven't read many books with prominent muslim MCs (should probs change that soon lol). Anyway, this book is so so good and you need to read it somehow aaaaaaa!

Anyway, this has been sitting in my drafts for a year now and everything beyond the *asterix has been written today, but most ideas in this still stand. Most of the low-ranked books focus on queer people just existing without the plot being carried by a love story (no hate to the latter but i would like to see more of the former too). Anyway, it's time for the post to be brought into the world, especially considering Heartstopper season 2 coming up in August (yayyy!!!).

What did we learn today, kids?

Give all of a creator's work a chance, not just the most popular one! You will discover many gems!

#long post #osemanverse #heartstopper #solitaire #radio silence #loveless #i was born for this #oseman #alice oseman

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spacejellywrites · 1 day

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Reader Insert Requests Open!

Hey everyone! I know I've been hinting at this for a while, but it is finally here. I've never done this before, so bear with me if this post is a little all over the place!

My reader-insert requests are now open! Reblogs for reach are appreciated.

Details under the cut!

If you want an idea of what I typically write, here is a Star Trek reader-insert one-shot, here is a Star Trek reader-insert multi-chapter fic, and here is a Supernatural reader-insert fic!

I prefer writing more platonic-leaning fics rather than explicitly romantic ones, but most of my fics can be read either way. I don't write smut, so please don't ask for it lol. These are both due to my aroace identity, you're much better off asking someone else to write that kind of thing! Although, physical affection is very much On The Table!! I love writing cuddle fics!!

Here are the fandoms I am open to writing for at this moment in time:

Supernatural

Star Trek TOS

Marvel

Doctor Who (specifically NuWho)

I may expand this list once I get more used to taking requests, but for now, I'm trying to keep things simple.

Some things to think about when making your request:

Plot/Premise

Setting (time and/or place!)

Characters (ones you definitely want to be there, and any you want me to exclude!)

Tropes

Relationships between characters (are you already friends with them? are you a stranger? any other ships you want me to include? etc.)

Details about the reader character! Do you want me to use a certain set of pronouns? Do you want them to have certain characteristics or personality traits? Let me know!

You don't have to include all of these things, but the more specific you get, the more likely I will produce something close to what you wanted!

So, with all that in mind, feel free to send me an ask with your ideas! I look forward to writing them :)

#fanfic #fanfiction #space jelly writes #requests open #reader insert #supernatural #marvel #doctor who #star trek #star trek tos

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www-librarytearoom-com · 11 months

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This gonna be a quite controversial one but I headcanon KC (Nana) as aroace. Now I KNOW, I know people ship her with Dante, or Zane, or Katelyn I think I've seen before and don't get me wrong I absolutely love reading fanfics of them, but the way I see her is as aroace and yk what I'm perfectly okay with that soo. I love exploring different relationship dynamics and looking into how so many different families can function in their own beautiful way and I'd love to interpret that here.

In my MCD rewrite, the way I saw her was as a character who just LOVED to bring love, light and life to those around her. Be it through her sweets, her hugs or literally bringing dolls to life: that has always been her TOP priority. Making friends and making sure they're loved and happy. But romantically? She's just never managed to feel that attraction. However, she did feel a deep love for Dante when she went back to Phoenix Drop and saw him there alone, but the love she held for him was just moreso platonic then it was romantic. Dante knew that and understood, putting his feelings for her aside because he also cherished the bond they had managed to form.

However they both knew one thing - they both wanted children. Families can have different types of dynamics and every single dynamic is valid. KC and Dante decided to be platonic coparents to their daughter (I still haven't decided on her name as I want to get rid of the stereotypes), sharing a house just for the convenience. Their daughter in no way ever felt unloved, as KC and Dante were incredible and attentive parents, treating her with the love she so deserved. Yes, it sometimes faced some judgement, but they never really cared. Because they had each other, they knew what they felt and they knew that they had a beautiful family.

When Zoey came back with Levin and Malachi, she had immediately understood - being in a similar situation with her own husband, except for the fact that she had always loved women but had wanted children. Levin and Malachi loved the opportunity as to helping with Dante and KC's daughter, and so they began to rebuild Phoenix Drop to protect it from those who wished to harm it. It was their home, and even though the heart of it was gone, they still cherished the memories they had all shared there together.

Even within the darkness, they managed to find that found family once again through the clouds and restored it stronger than ever, the memory of their friends held so dearly in their hearts in the hope that one day they'd be able to see them again.

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hollow-keys · 2 months

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Ian and Barbara from Doctor Who! And Two/Jamie. And also Mae/Linda from DC (bc of the icon)

IanBarbara (do they have a ship name? that's what I'm calling them) is perhaps one of the most "makes sense" pairings in all of Doctor Who (bold statement but they really do work). I wouldn't say I actively ship them though because I'm kinda attached to these heteros being really good friends but they are a good pairing (I know they get together in the EU tho, which is fine because it's not a "quick! we need to pair off these characters regardless of if it makes sense!" situation). They're Mulder and Scully to me, basically.

TwoJamie as a dynamic compels me more (love whatever they got going on) but I would say it makes slightly less sense, mostly because of the age gap (not between the Doctor and Jamie because he's a Time Lord, he's always going to be old but because of the 24 year age gap between the actors. Since 450 year old people don't exist, as a viewer I can only go by actor ages really). I don't think shipping them is bad or whatever, it's just hard not to notice it. The reason they're not higher in the "compels me" section is because I haven't decided whether I view them platonically or not so they're in limbo there, and I'm probably not going to decide definitivley because it's not about that for me.

I just really love how ride or die they are for each other immediately like when Two sees him again in The Underwater Menace and he's like "JAMIE!!!" even though he was not that happy to see the others (tunnel vision frfr). And in the Jamie audio story where Raven remarks Two seems particularly find of him 💚. And! How that affection remains across incarnations. Colin Baker has functionally said his Doctor is aroace (exact quote: "Love is a human emotion and the Doctor isn't human" (which... saying love is what makes us human is not great)) but the point is Six still cares for Jamie so much, regardless of the type of love he feels. Like in the Wreck of the Titan, the first thing he does after getting Jamie back is take him on a luxury cruise he'd been saving tickets for 🥺. (Well, attempts to do that. They end up on the Titanic LMAO).

MaeLinda isn't here because I haven't read Supergirl (1996), sorry (over 700 comics read seems like a lot but it's actually nothing 😔). Mae's my icon because I liked her in the Death of Superman, but I will read more of her stuff (and then gain MaeLinda opinions) but I'm currently possessed by my Doctor Who obsession.

In general, I tend to be less of an avid romance shipper and more of a dynamic enjoyer, which sometimes means shipping and sometimes doesn't. It's about closeness, not necessarily about how that closeness is defined (platonic? queerplatonic? romantic? who knows). They're partners (ambiguous).

Thanks for asking!

#barbara wright #ian chesterton #jamie mccrimmon #second doctor #doctor who #classic who #asks #📨

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