#I swear I posted it before I saw k's story | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cherryblossom-heart · 1 year

Text

I loved you once B.B

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: Loving Bucky Barnes was never easy but breaking your heart seemed to come naturally to him. A love story about your heartbreak,his betrayal and a chance at redemption.

19.1 k words

Content Warning: ANGST, heartbreak, cheating, mature themes, +18 SMUT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (Pussy job, penetrative sex p in v, sad/angry sex? Rough sex mixed with a little pain. It will make sense once you read it) . Fluff, mentions of bad mental health from both Bucky and reader, graphic violence, character's death, mentions of women trafficking as well as assault.

A/N: Wow 19k words. Im sorry this took so long to finish but as you can tell it is super long as I promised. Buckle up y'all, this is sad. Also this is my first time writing a proper cheating fic so if you can/want let me know if you like it or not. You're welcomed to send me an ask with any comments, questions, etc., you have on this 😊

Post dividers by @firefly-graphics and @cafekitsune

Now

"Fuck you," you spat the words.

Tears fell from your eyes as they made their way down your neck, making dark spots in the collar of your red turtleneck. Even when pain was drowning you, beauty never left you. Bucky felt as if he were watching a beautiful Renaissance painting—a tragedy of sorts.

"Is that all? I really don’t have time for this."

He didn’t recognize his own words or the indifference they came out with. He didn’t mean to say them, but it was as if his own body was working on autopilot, and he was only a spectator to the shitshow it was causing. He wanted to stop. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to say so many things, but the only thing he was capable of was hurting you.

"Are you kidding me? That’s all you’re going to say?"

"What else do you want me to say? You know what happened, you saw her with your own eyes. Anything I say is either going to make you angrier or make you cry even more. Let’s just be done with this, you’ll eventually get over it."

The sound of your hand connecting with his face put an end to his sentence. The hit didn’t feel as such, his skin barely processed it as anything more than a simple graze, but once the initial shock wore off, the sting came along. But it didn’t compare to the pain he felt in his heart when his eyes connected with yours once again.

"I always knew you were capable of many things, but not once did I think you would ever be this cruel."

Your eyes drifted to your hands, your right hand playing with the ring you wore in your left. A sigh left your lips, and more tears fell before you finally slid it off your finger, placing it on the table next to you.

A bucket of iced water. Painful, burning, scorching coldness— that’s how Bucky would describe looking at you while silently breaking your engagement. His mind was telling him to get on his knees, beg, and try to fix everything he had broken. But the darkest part of him, the one that had taken over his life was assuring him you were bluffing. You couldn’t leave, you always stayed. You always fought for him, even when he didn’t deserve it.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his eyes rolling with the uninterested façade he had perfected.

"I’m done, I can’t keep doing this anymore." You turned your back, strong and determined steps leading to his apartment door.

Please, fix this.

His trembling hands made their way to your wrist, anything that could mend the cracks in your heart that seeped with pain, the cracks he had caused with his own selfishness. Before his fingers could even graze your skin, your hand quickly swatted away his pathetic effort to stop you.

"God, stop being so goddamed drama—"

"Don’t fucking touch me. Don’t try to contact me ever again, I won’t answer."

"Can you just—"

"If I ever see you again I swear I’ll murder you. I didn’t kill you the first time we met but I swear I’ll do it if you even dare to breath in my direction."

Your words hurt, it seemed as though each one stabbed him right through the chest in a taunting way, a reminder of how much he had screwed up. Bile rose to his throat when you recoiled at his proximity, and the hate in your eyes burned him with such force that he was sure you wouldn't wait until the next time you met.

He deserved it either way.

Bucky's eyes opened just as the car jolted, his heart racing against his chest, his ears buzzing. For a fraction of a second, he's confused, not remembering why he was in the car, but the fogginess of his thoughts was replaced with anxiety when he heard the tracker beeping on Sam's thigh.

"Good, you’re awake. I think we’re almost there." Sam kept his eyes on the road, occasionally glancing down at the device that told him where to go. Judging by his demeanor, his friend didn’t seem as nervous as he did, if at all. It wasn’t like Sam had a reason to, he was the only one who had fucked up.

He looked out at the vehicle, and the passing trees in the darkness of the night numbed his mind while he tried to forget about his dream. No, it wasn’t a dream, it was his worst memory to date. Usually, his nightmares were about the crimes he had committed while being the Winter Soldier, and he could blame them on his consciousness not being there with him. His own body didn’t belong to him, so he couldn’t keep blaming himself for the things HYDRA had forced him to do.

With you, on the other hand, he could not blame anyone else but himself. His mind wasn’t tortured by a secret organization in hopes of ruining his relationship, nor was he forced to hurt the person about whom he cared the most to save thousands of lives. He did it all by himself, and now the nightmares have not only scared him but hurt him all over again.

You started to show up in his dreams more frequently once Sam told him they needed your help. As expected, the super-soldier's first reaction was total and complete refusal. His friend thought it was a childish reaction the former winter soldier was having to avoid the awkwardness of meeting you again, only knowing your relationship had ended on bad terms without hearing the specifics. But the blue-eyed man wasn’t doing it for himself, he was doing it for you. The night you left, you made it clear you didn’t want anything to do with him, or even anything related to him, your resignation from the Avengers Team and subsequent evaporation from the face of the earth was a strong message to leave you alone.

After a few hours of arguing, with both men going back and forth on why they did or didn't need you, Bucky finally agreed to go look for you. Lives were at stake, and no matter how hard he tried to look for a solution that avoided you, there seemed to be none. Before he could ask where to even start looking for you, Sam pulled out a device that seemed familiar to a phone. You had given Sam, and only Sam, a tracker that could find you anywhere in the world and could only be unlocked by a password you had whispered to him

The depth of his tormenting cycle of thoughts didn’t let him register they weren’t on the road anymore until his partner stopped the vehicle. They were surrounded by tall, dense trees, and the crickets and cicadas that hid in the dark made an orchestra that filled the emptiness of the night. Sam grabbed his gear, the sound of a duffle bag being opened broke the rhythm of nature.

"Why are we stopping here?" Bucky asked with a frown. His own duffle was placed across his back, the tinkering of the metal inside it annoying him slightly.

His friend threw an annoyed look at him before rolling his eyes and scrambling through his belongings. "As I said like twenty minutes ago while you were brooding and having your own pity party, this thing shows her inside a building in the middle of the woods. I’d like to take a look around the area before going in blind."

"Oh."

Normally, the super soldier would’ve had a comeback for the annoying yet harmless insults his friend and partner would throw at him, even a snide comment. But this was different, no matter what Sam would say, he could only think of what was about to happen. So he let it slide, submerging himself in his own thoughts while Sam threw the little flying robot he nicknamed "Red Wing" into the air. Once it was hovering above them and Sam made sure to have full control of it, they began a walk that would last about thirty minutes before the device would find any signs of life.

Sam and him were waiting somewhere near the alleged building, Sam's robot scanning the surroundings.The thumping in his chest returned, and his fingers became ice cold.He was so close. Close enough to see you, close enough to talk to you, and perhaps close enough to apologize.

How would you react to seeing him? Would you be happy to see him? Probably not, considering the last thing you said to him was that you would kill him if he ever came near you. He knew he deserved it, but hopefully time changed your murderous resolution. Maybe even forgave him.

Could you ever forgive him?

A slight swat from Sam brought him back from his thoughts, silently letting him know they were ready to go. Bucky could sense it before the place was even visible, the vibrations of the music resonating through the ground. The smell of smoke, alcohol, and humanity reached his nostrils right as they saw the line of cars parked in a plain field next to what resembled a warehouse.

To an untrained eye, it would look like a normal, unsanitary, and probably unsafe rave done by stupid people. But the polarized windows of the cars, the shine coming from the inside of the guards' jackets, and the lot of security cameras installed in the building told another story. Whatever or whoever was in there was dangerous, and as usual, you had gotten yourself in the middle of it.

Bucky wasn’t an idiot. He knew you couldn’t stay away from helping people, no matter how hard you tried. He saw the breadcrumbs, microscopic, little clues that he could recognize as your style. A missing girl suddenly returning to her family, a kidnapped journalist in the middle of war returning to their respective embassy. A child trafficker falling from his hotel room in the twentieth floor. You had always been... effective when it came to missions, sometimes going overboard with your methods, but Tony, Steve, and himself had always guided you towards the good and righteous path that a person with your abilities was supposed to take.

You lost all three of them in the span of a year.

They were lucky that it was relatively easy to get inside, and even luckier that their clothes didn't draw too much attention to them. Sure, they seemed to be wearing more clothes than needed, as most people seemed to enjoy themselves topless and/or pantless, but with the darkness of the room barely being lit by the flashing blue and red lights, no one really noticed them.

Guys, girls, and people he wasn’t sure how to label were grinding against each other. Hands touched him, pulling his jacket, and he had to push them all away, trying to make his way through the sea of people. The inside of the warehouse could pass for a functioning club, with couches, dance floors, and screens accommodating everyone inside.

Bucky wasn’t sure he had ever seen anything like this; the debauchery that people showed shocked his old-fashioned ways. He was sure he had seen several people inside each other, whether it was fingers, tongues, or dicks, no one seemed to mind that everyone else could see them. How had you gotten yourself into the middle of this disguised orgy? What were you even doing here?

Both men made their way to the front of the place, where a private section was installed looking over the dancefloor. Two large guys guarded the stairs that connected the lower and upper levels, allowing mostly attractive girls to ascend. Both men agreed that if you were to be found somewhere, it would undoubtedly be there. They scanned the room, looking for any way they could access the VIP level without having a pair of tits and long legs.

He had never understood scenes in movies where they showed time slowing down. Every time he had been in a fight, whether it was as himself in the forties or as the winter soldier, everything seemed to happen too fast to process. Even the night you left, time had seemed to go at an abnormally fast pace, and by the time he could finally react the way he wanted, it had been too late.

He never understood those scenes until he saw you walking to the protective railing surrounding the edge of the private section. Above the deafening music, the moans, and the music, he could hear your voice talking to someone else.

It was as if he was seeing you for the first time. Your beauty had remained the same your hair, your eyes, and your lips all looked the same, yet his heart started racing just as it did all those years ago. You weren’t dressed like everyone else dancing around him, your black dress with a dangerous deep cleavage was sensuous, but it held a certain level of class that made you stand out from the crowd.

Thump, thump, thump.

Time moved at a slow pace, the slowest he had experienced. He was grateful for it, as it allowed him to appreciate every detail from you. The way your lips came close to the drink you had in your hand, the drumming your fingers did on top of the railing, the glint in your eyes—he knew it meant you were lost in your thoughts.

Bucky had never been more grateful for the way time passed. Until he saw a pair of hands sliding across your waist, fingers gripping your hips so roughly, he was sure they would leave a mark on your skin. A semi-attractive man whispered words in your ear, his beard scruffing against your skin. You smirked, turning around to plaster your lips against his in a kiss that could make a pornstar blush.

He knew you'd moved on; nearly a year had passed since the last time he saw you, and you'd probably found someone to sleep with, but he wasn't ready to watch you become someone else's. His mind was prepared to face your happiness, but his heart wasn’t. And even now, he was sure you were just tagging along with the man, using him for information for whatever mission you had gotten yourself into, yet he felt as if what remained of his heart had been ripped out of his chest.

With strong, rough movements, the man turned you around, pressing your body against the railing. As his hand grabbed your neck, your hips grinded against his, your mouth open as you licked your lips.

The super soldier couldn’t take it anymore, his heart begged him to stop the torture. He wasn’t even sure where Sam was, nor did he care. He cared about you, and he could only think about what he had lost. With the last of his dignity, he began to look away from you and your companion, who had leaned over to your ear once more. Except this time his eyes found Bucky’s, his fingers tightening around your neck.

He knew. Somehow the man knew who he was and, most importantly, who you were.

Your eyes widen slightly, searching through the sea of people dancing downstairs. But it didn't take you long to find those blue eyes you once adored. He was there, looking exactly the same as the night you left him, along with your heart.

"I know who you are." The man whispered in your ear—a threat not so subtly hidden behind every word.

But you couldn’t dwell long on his words because ice-cold eyes looked back at you. Ice cold eyes brought back the pain you thought you left behind, and the rage surfaced once more as you remembered the promises you made him.

Cold metal was pressed against your neck, the edge of it grazing your skin. Bucky’s eyes widened in alarm, and his hands turned into fists, making him look like he cared. Like he actually had a heart.

He barely took two steps in your direction when the wicked smile you wore stopped him. It was sinister. It was deadly. And when you turned to the man to say something, his grip faltered as one word left your lips.

"Good"

Your head connected against the man’s nose, a crack let you know it was most likely broken. You barely heard the man’s yells when bullets made their way to you, a couple of them grazing your skin. The room that was once filled with hips swaying, alcohol, and moans had transformed into a frenzy of screams and people running to get out of the building.

The crowd tried to take Bucky away; their desperate attempts at escaping dragged him away as he fought his way through the sea of people. Seconds passed, and he could hear your grunts as well as more shooting coming from the upper floor, with girls running down the stairs, some of them with splashes of blood staining their clothes.

He didn’t know whose blood it belonged to, and that frightened him.

Sam’s voice pulled him out of his trance. "What the hell happened?"

His friend had managed to make his way to him, both of them still getting pushed around. Bucky offered him a quick glance before resuming his previous task of making his way to the stairs.

"Her cover is blown," was all the explanation Bucky offered, and somehow it was enough. Before any of them could add anything, screams came from the front door, three bulky men were making their way there while carrying very large and dangerous guns. "Take care of them, I’ll go help her," the super soldier said without leaving any room for discussion.

When his fingers finally grabbed the banister of the stairs, Bucky was close to losing his mind. Climbing two steps at a time, he finally found himself a scene that froze him in the spot.

You were there, your black dress ripped in some places, your makeup ruined by mascara running down your cheeks, and blood splashes tainted your flawless skin. Bucky had managed to get there just in time as you twisted a man's arm to an unnatural angle, the crack of his joint popping out of place was followed by his screams. You had managed to kill/knock out everyone except for the guy who had previously had a knife to your throat, and Bucky knew better than to think that was just a mere coincidence.

After the last man fell to the ground, blood sputtering out of his neck, you lifted your gaze towards him. He couldn’t read you as easily as he had once been able to and he hated it. Before, he was sure he knew you better than you knew yourself, more than once already sure of your likes and dislikes before you asked him for an opinion. He had treasured those times in his mind, and the memories were as comforting as they were painful. A constant reminder of what he had lost.

He was right there, right in front of you. The man you fell in love with when you still had a heart. The man who still had a tight grip on it and who would probably always own it. He could keep it for all you cared, your heart was tainted with memories you didn’t wish to keep.

It was the first time both of you were this close, every scream gone as you were absorbed by your own bubble. He looked so familiar that your own body reacted the way it used to whenever you saw him. Your heart stammered in your chest, and even after so long, the butterflies in your stomach appeared for a millisecond. He was the man you had once loved, he was the man with whom you imagined a future together.

Then, you remembered why all your hopes and dreams had been destroyed.

Bucky noticed the hurt flashing through your face, your jaw tightening right before you made your way to him. For a moment, he thought you were about to hug him, your desperation to reach him in your long strides mirroring his as his body begged him to touch you. He wanted to apologize, beg for forgiveness at your feet, and profess the love that he wasn’t able to forget.

Perhaps if his mind hadn't been plagued with all the things he wanted to do, he would’ve noticed your foot rising to give him a solid kick on the chest.

The force and unexpectedness of your attack launched him back to the railing, throwing him over it. His back landed with a loud thud on the floor, fortunate enough for him, everyone else seemed to have dissipated and his fall wasn’t that high up. A second later, you jumped from the banister, landing on top of him with your knife in hand. Your knee found it’s place on his chest, feet pressing his hands flat on the surface. Before Bucky could even muster a word, the blade was pinned against his throat.

"I told you if I ever saw you again, I would fucking kill you."

Then

Steve had changed so much in the years they had spent apart. His friend, who had once been the fragile little Brooklyn boy he would protect with his life, was now a fully grown man with a strength that could crush a person if he wasn’t careful enough. He was also now his protector, not from bullies that would harass him because of his own stubbornness but from a secret organization that wanted to take over the world. That and his own fractured mind.

He had lost control once the man had given him the commands to bring back the deadly assassin they had turned him into. He remembered it all, but it had felt as if he was under water the whole time, falling deeper and deeper the more he tried to fight against it. His own body didn’t belong to him, no matter how hard he tried to control it.

For a year, he had thought it was possible to lead a normal life; his time spent in Romania had given him false hope that he had gotten away from his captors. How foolish he had been, thinking he could ever be far away from his grasps. He wasn’t the man he was before, just a weapon designed to hurt people.

He supposed he was lucky Steve still saw good in him, at least enough to turn against his teammates and friends to help him clear his name. And now, as they drove to one of Steve’s friends' hideouts, he couldn’t help but feel guilty about everything that was going on. If he hadn’t lost control, Steve wouldn't be a wanted criminal. If he wasn’t captured, a shit ton of innocent, good people would still be alive. If his mind had been stronger, he could’ve broken free of HYDRA's mind control.

Maybe it would’ve been better if he had actually died when he fell from that train.

Steve parked outside an abandoned apartment complex, it seemed no one had lived there in years. He threw a questioning eyebrow at Sam, who just shrugged before getting out of the vehicle. Another of Steve’s friends had decided to help him out of loyalty to Steve, not because he particularly liked Bucky or entirely believed in his good side.

All three men walked inside the building, not a sound inside other than their footsteps and heavy breathing. Steve looked around for a couple of seconds before making his way to the second floor, his intuition telling him where to go. He stood in front of a door with a big C plastered on it, his friend's hand hesitating before knocking on the wood.

After the third knock came back without an answer, Steve decided to open the door. He had called a name while crossing the threshold, looking around for any signs of life inside the apartment. Bucky was surprised to find the apartment filled with computers, blueprints, documents, and lots of military-grade equipment. Everything gave away the signs of someone working there, yet there was no one who took ownership over them.

It was too late when Bucky heard you standing behind him, with his feet being swept by your leg and effectively knocking him down. The wooden floor amplified the echo of his fall, catching Steve and Sam’s attention. Your frame landed on top of his, gun aimed directly between his eyes.Bucky's hand reached to grab your ankle in an effort to destabilize you, but the barrel of your weapon was pressed right on his forehead.

"I wouldn’t do it if I were you," you said coolly. "I promise you, I’ll blow your brains out before you can even land a hit."

After your words filled the room, Bucky’s eyes finally took their chance to look at you, actually look at you.

God, you were beautiful.

Maybe it was only your physical beauty that had taken him by surprise, or the fact that you had taken him down so easily with just one leg movement. Or even the fact that you seemed to have no fear towards a man who was being marketed as a "dangerous and armed terrorist." Whatever it was, Bucky couldn’t deny the fact that you were the most beautiful human being he had seen.

After a few explanations from Steve’s part and some begging for help, you released the super soldier from your hold, weapon holstered in your back. Your hand extended to help him get off the floor, and you offered him a charming but wary smile.

You told the three men to make themselves at home and take anything they needed. Bucky had chosen to keep guard, being by himself in the top floor while looking out through a window that hid him from everyone else. He was stewing in his own complicated thoughts when he heard a knock on the wall. You were there, standing a few feet away from him with a shy smile on your face as you extended to him a cup filled with hot coffee.

Thump, thump, thump.

"Sorry about the whole thing holding you hostage," you said as he welcomed the cup.

His fingers accidentally grazed against your own, and it was as if he had touched electricity itself. Heat extended from his hands all through his body, and his ability to think was thrown out of the window. He looked at you, and he couldn’t tell if you felt the same or not, but he could feel how your eyes burned him, with a curiosity behind them that was so easy to read that he was surprised you were the black ops/spy Sam had told him.

"It’s whatever, I would’ve done the same thing if I were you." Bucky answered after a few seconds.

He turned to look through the window again, trying to keep his thoughts in order. You settled down next to him, the warmth of your skin reaching his own. Nothing could be heard other than your breathings, not even the cars outside or the sound of the busy city that hid you. And for the first time in a long time, Bucky felt relaxed with someone he didn’t know from the past.

"I’m James."

He could’ve sworn he heard you smile before you gave him your name.

Now

"What the fuck are you doing here, Barnes?"

The music was still on, as were the blue and red lights that lighted up the darkness in the room. Bucky could feel the breeze of your breath on his face and the smell of expensive whisky and tobacco in every word you said. He wasn’t surprised, the man that you knocked out probably tried to impress you with them.

But behind the traces of blood, alcohol, and gunpowder, he could smell your shampoo. The same peony smell mixed with lavander filled his nostrils, and it brought him back to the many nights you had spent together. Your fingers were drawing circles on the skin of his back, and his nose was buried in your hair.

You, on the other hand, were reminded of the suffering he caused you with every passing second.

"I told you to stay away from me," you muttered.

Your hand pressed the edge of the blade on his skin, and you were sure if you kept going you were going to start drawing out blood, but you couldn’t care less. Bucky Barnes had always been an expert at instilling unwanted emotions in you, and it was difficult to keep those emotions at bay right now.

You felt anger. You felt resentment. You felt pure, long-lasting hatred.

"Maybe I should slit your throat right now, that’ll make you stay away from me permanently."

Your words were intimidating, filled with the same promise you had made him that fateful night. This was his chance, his chance at the apology that had died out in his throat when you closed the door behind him. This was the chance he had chased in his dreams for almost a year.

But he couldn’t say anything.

He loved you. God, he loved you so much. He missed seeing your face other than in the few pictures he kept or in the memories that did no justice. Because even now, as you threatened to kill him, you were a dream come true, just like the first time he saw you.

"Say something!"

"You’re beautiful."

Your grip faltered on the knife, your eyebrows slightly furrowing at his words.

No, he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t come back out of nowhere, say some cheesy, basic compliment, and make the walls of hate you had built crumble. Even if he had only managed to knock down one brick, he didn't deserve it. You knew it, he knew it, and everyone else who knew what happened between you two knew it.

Then why did your heart flutter at his words?

"Hey," Sam said, breaking the silence, your head snapping in his direction."I know he’s an asshole, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t kill my partner."

You look back at Bucky for a few seconds before giving up, throwing your knife to the floor. Sam leaned over, his hand extended to help Bucky get up.Your murderous eyes went from Bucky to Sams, your gaze softening at his friend.

"I told you to only contact me in emergencies," you grumbled.

A hiss left your lips when you touched your arm, one of the bullet wounds was still seeping blood. Bucky thought about telling you something, but this time he listened to the rational part of his brain that told him to shut the fuck up.

"Believe me, if we had a choice, we wouldn’t have come," Sam said.

Your eyes flickered between both men, not convinced about helping them. Well, on helping the blue eyed super soldier. A pathetic excuse for why you couldn’t help them died on your lips once you saw his blue eyes. Please, help us they begged.

You didn’t owe him anything. You shouldn’t help him, but in the back of your head, Steve’s voice rang through. Good ol’ Steve Rogers and his everlasting moral lessons. That's what we have to do, he said.

So you put aside your feelings because helping people mattered more than an idiot who broke your heart.

"What do you want?" You sighed.

"We’re looking into something... odd. A bunch of pregnant women missing, still in their early stages of pregnancy. Most of them show up dead after giving birth, but the babies are nowhere to be found."

You shrug. "They take the kids, so?"

It was cold, you were aware of it. But after the things you had seen, the things you had done, you were aware that people kidnapping woman for their babies wasn’t something out of the ordinary, let alone something that required Captain America to look into it. Things like that were always forgotten, pushed back into a slew of cases alongside more missing women.

"They had traces of the super serum."

Fuck.

You laughed. A joyless, cynical type of laugh. Destiny, of course, had to be a jerk.

"Well, you’re in luck. I think we’re tracking down the same people." Sam raised an eyebrow at you with a simple request for you to elaborate. "A girl showed up dead in México a couple of months ago, she’d been missing for almost a year. Autopsy showed she had a miscarriage before dying, the bleeding killed her. The remains had traces of the serum too."

"Are you saying that—?" Sam couldn’t finish his sentence, the thought sending chills along his spine.

"Yeah."

The air is somber between the three of you. Sure, the flag smashers were a problem when they appeared, as you knew from all the news reports you'd seen.People with ten times the strength of a normal human being were dangerous, especially if they were associated with a terrorist organization.

This was different, though. This was sinister.

Groans coming from the top floor broke the eeriness that surrounded you, making you finally remember why you were here. You tore apart part of the black dress that was once pristine and wrapped it around your arm.

"Look at this guy over there," you said, motioning behind you. "He has intel on this, he’s the one that gets the girls and delivers them."

"Well, let’s take him in and—"

You cut Sam off. "No. Look, you came looking for me because this is my specialty. I know how to handle guys like him, and I sure as hell know he won’t tell us shit if we take him to a precinct and threaten him with some jail time. He’s a big fish. A few phone calls and he’ll be out in no time." They knew you were right, but they didn’t like your arguments. "We do this my way, or you better pray you find them before I do."

Sam looked hesitant. He knew what you were going to do to the man, and his good conscience chastised him for even thinking of letting you torture someone. But the rational part, the part that knew that in this case there wasn’t much of an option, knew that they needed you, and perhaps you also needed them.

"Just, don’t kill him." Sam said before walking away.

Compromise. You could do compromise.

"Fine," you said, rolling your eyes.

After Sam slammed the door shut on his way out, you were reminded of the fact that you weren't alone. Bucky’s eyes were already looking at you, the same apologetic eyes you had seen before you kicked him in the chest.

"Thanks for helping us." He spoke, thinking it was an appropriate way to break the ice, but it only managed to make you scoff.

"Let’s make something clear, I’m not doing this for you." you spat. "I’m doing this because Sam needs my help and so we can save those innocent girls and stop any more from being taken. This doesn’t change anything between us, as soon as this is over, you go back to leaving me the fuck alone, got it?"

Say something. Fight for her. Explain what happened, his mind begged him.

But he couldn’t, because even if it had been almost a year since he last saw you, he was still the same coward who let you walk away without a fight.

So he agreed.

"Yeah."

"Good. I’ll meet you outside."

Then

"Thanks for the coffee." Bucky said before taking a sip.

Droplets of water fell from his forehead, a strand of unruly black hair was hanging on the side of his eyebrows. The towel that hung from his waist, showing his torso all the way down to that sculpted V of his abdomen, made it too difficult to concentrate on the files you were trying to organize.

The man was hotter than the sun.

"No problem." you smiled at him.

You had no idea it would be the best and worst decision you'd ever made when you suggested Bucky stay with you while Steve went to rescue the others.You liked Bucky, and the few days you spent with him while Steve and the others gathered everything they needed so they could go find Zemo had been nice. Sure, he was a man of a few words, but it didn’t bother you. It was weirdly comforting to be able to enjoy someone’s company in silence. And the times he spoke, he did it out of pure curiosity, curiosity about the world, about what had happened while he was in the ice, but mostly about you.

He asked about your cases, how you met Steve, and how you came to partner with some of the most powerful people in the world. He asked about your life, about your childhood in the orphanage, and what made you choose to help people. He asked so many questions, yet he still respected you when you didn’t want to answer some of them. He asked, not to pry, but to get to know you, and in return, when you asked him something, he was as honest as he felt comfortable being.

And that was the problem. No matter how much you tried, you knew your days with Bucky Barnes were numbered. Ever since you were young, you knew that being in this line of work would prevent you from having a normal life. You couldn't have a normal relationship. You weren’t meant to have the love story your favorite movies portraited, the white picket fence and the family of five wasn’t in your future.

Neither was he, maybe in the forties he would’ve came home from war and found himself a pretty girl to marry. But now, after everything he had seen and everything he had unwillingly done, he probably wouldn't want a relationship any time soon. Or maybe not at all.

But after three weeks of being cramped up in the same little apartment, you were getting used to him. You had developed a little routine together that always ended up with a cup of coffee at the end of the day. Sometimes both of you would just sit in silence, taking in each other's company while you sipped on your cups. Other times, just like now, he would sit next to you as you watched whatever movie you had decided to put on.

You had to cut this at the root before it became too hard to let go.

"So, you’re going to Wakanda?"

He sighs. "Yeah. Steve says they have someone that might be able to help with... help with my..."

"I know." You finished for him, suddenly placing your hand on top of his. He tensed at your touch, both of you looking down at your hands before you took away yours, embarrassed at your own lack of control. "Well, if you’re not too busy there, I could go visit you sometimes."

"You would?" he questioned.

"If you want me, too," you shrugged, trying not to reveal your excitement.

He looked at you, his thoughts unreadable through his face. For a moment, you thought he was going to reject your offer, but something changed in his eyes. He smiled, the faintest, littlest hint of a smile you had seen, but it was there.

You made him smile for the first time.

"Yeah. I’d like that."

If someone were to ask Bucky when he first felt he could love you, it would be right now. With the dim light of the TV lighting up your face and a shy smile on your lips as you told him you were willing to travel such a long distance just to see him.

And as you lay next to him, your head against his shoulder, you thought to yourself that maybe you could be selfish for once and allow yourself to enjoy his company a bit more.

Now

There were drops of water leaking out of a pipe, he could hear them from the other side of the room. Everything around him was dark, it seemed the only source of light was on top of him and the woman on the floor pleading for her life.

"Please don’t do this," she begged with a Spanish accent. "I don’t want to die, please."

He wanted to move, he wanted to throw away the gun in his hand, but it was like he was a spectator of his own life. His body was not his, or his breathing. Not even his heartbeat listened to the inner panic attack he was having. Nothing belonged to him.

"Kill her," a distorted voice told him. His eyes glanced at him quickly, and he noticed the man had no face. No one around them had one.

Everything felt like it was in slow motion. His finger moved, pressing the trigger of the gun, but he refused to give up. He had to try, even if his own consciousness was trying to kick him out, sucking him into the pool of darkness he had been resting in for a long time.

But even if he tried for years, he couldn’t win. He was powerless.

Broken.

He could only witness how the other "him" obeyed. The woman's eyes changed from scared to lifeless in less than a second. A splash of crimson staining his combat boots kept his attention. He couldn’t hear what the other people in the room were saying, he didn’t exist anymore, or he didn’t want to. The sound of the water leak was deafening now. Growing louder and louder until it consumed everything around him

He didn’t want to be awake. Not like this.

And as he felt himself disappearing, he hoped this was the last time he came back to the surface. He would rather be surrounded by emptiness.

Yet something interrupted him, pulling him back up.

A woman's voice, so familiar it made his heartbeat change.

"Bucky!"

Bucky's eyes opened wide. His head was spinning, his breathing was rapid, and his heart felt like it was going to burst through his chest. The adrenaline in his system made him dizzy, and he could feel his hands shaking. And he was feeling. A lot. Scared, angry, hopeless. So many emotions constricted his chest, burying him under their weight.

"Bucky," you repeated. His head snapped at you, showing you a pair of wide, terrified eyes.

Your feet almost moved. A pure protective instinct filled you with dread at the fact that you couldn’t help him anymore. Your head and your heart were in conflict. In one hand your heart begged you to go to him, stroke his back as you peppered kisses along his shoulder. Then you would lie back in bed while your hands surrounded his body, your front pressed to his back in a way to say, I’m here, I love you, and everything will be alright.

On the other hand, your brain told you to turn in the other direction. Walk away from the night terrors that plagued his mind and let him suffer in silence. He wasn't your responsibility anymore, and you shouldn't be concerned about helping him with whatever was wrong with him.

Was it possible to hate and care about someone at the same time?

"Nightmares?" you couldn’t help yourself from asking.

His left hand rubbed his eyes, a sigh leaving his lips. "Yeah. Sorry if I woke you up."

"You didn’t."

You sat at the table in front of the couch he was lying on, a steaming cup of lavender tea between your hands. The cling of the spoon clashing against the ceramic filled the uncomfortable silence between you.

"Where’s Sam?" he asked, sitting straight as a couple of droplets of sweat fell down his forehead.

"He has a contact in the city. He left to meet them."

"Oh."

Whatever else he was about to say died on his lips. You noticed he seemed to do that often since meeting again, his eyes speaking the words he would never say. Sometimes you would catch him looking at you, the frown on his forehead deepening with the passing of time. It made you wonder if he would now be open to answering your questions.

"He said you’re going to therapy."

He was taken aback by your question. It probably was the first time you said more than the necessary to him. Also, it was the first time that you showed any sort of interest in his life.

"Uh, yeah. Court mandated."

You hummed, sipping on your tea.

"Does it work?"

You saw the hesitance in his eyes. The way his jaw clenched and his grip on the couch made his knuckles white made you think he was about to change the subject with a witty, bitter, or sarcastic remark, or maybe even just ignore the question at all. You wouldn’t be surprised if he did, by the end of your relationship, he was an expert in it.

Bucky didn’t change much after all, you thought to yourself

But he broke the silence.

"In some ways." he started, his gaze dropping to the floor. "The nightmares don’t come as often anymore, and I don’t feel the need to shoot every asshole that drives a shitty car with a shitty exhaust pipe." You chuckled at his confession, making a slight smirk show on his face. "But she’s too much."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed. "She pisses me off. I hate that she keeps trying to make me feel better by just saying my life is better now and I shouldn’t feel like shit anymore. But it’s not that easy. Just like it’s not easy to follow the stupid set of rules she gave me."

He looked up to see your reaction to his words, expecting to see the same hardened look you’ve given him the past couple of weeks. And it was just that what greeted his eyes, your lips slightly pressed together and your eyes decorated with a slight scowl that only showed up for him.

But behind the tough exterior, he could see your eyes had softened. For a brief second, your eyes showed care and understanding to what he siad before going back to the usual void stare you gave him.

"She sounds like a bad therapist." He shrugged in agreement, he couldn’t say anything against the truth. "She also sounds like a bitch."

He laughed. The type of laugh that caught him off guard and made his lungs run out of air. Granted, your joke might’ve not been as funny as his laugh was giving it credit for, but he had always been fond of your bluntness.

You couldn’t help but laugh with him too.

Laughing with Bucky felt foreign yet so familiar at the same time. It felt like reminiscing on a memory you didn’t remember you had, a bittersweet memory that brought back the same good feeling of the memories you built together

But moments like that couldn’t last forever. Your heart couldn’t afford to remember.

A text message from Sam lit up your screen, saying his contact had useful information. You stood up from the table after texting him back and drank the rest of the cup's contents.

"You should try to get some sleep, we have a long day ahead."

His shoulders dropped slightly.

"Yeah, you’re right. I’ll try to."

With nothing left to say, you walked away, leaving Bucky in the loneliness of the night.

You didn’t go right away to the room you had adopted as your own, though. He heard you going through the kitchen, a dim sound of clinking and pouring reaching him due to his enhanced hearing. He didn't think anything of it; maybe you needed more tea before going to bed.

Your steps brought you back to him before you placed an object on the coffee table right beside him.

A cup of lavender tea.

Then

"It’s kinda late to be outside, huh?"

Bucky jolted at the sound of your voice, your presence taking him by surprise. He was completely sure that when he left a couple of hours ago his house was empty and you hadn’t sent a message of your arrival.

Something had happened? Was someone injured? Were you in trouble?

His questions died on his lips as you cut the space between you and him short, your arms tightly embracing him. Your head found its place in the crook of his neck, his long hair falling on your face. His hands took a second to respond, but they eventually wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer to his chest.

You stayed like that for what felt like ages, just taking in each other's warmth. He missed you, even if he tried to deny it every time his thoughts would wander to you. He tried to convince himself that his reclusion made him miss everyone he considered a friend, and in a world where everyone seemed to want him dead, you were one of the few people he trusted.

He had been staying in Wakanda for nearly six months, and out of those six months, you had visited him at least once every month. The duration of your trip would vary, sometimes you would stay only a few hours, with most of your time spent in his hut while sharing stories of the outside and his progress. Other times, you'd stay for days, with the longest stay being a week and a half. In those cases, he would show you the surroundings, the forest that surrounded the back of his hut or take you on a long walk alongside the river that crossed his home. Sometimes you'd sit outside and stare at the stars, your only company being the animals and the flora.

He also came to hate every time you would leave, feeling like a part of himself was leaving with you.

One of his hands landed on the side of your hips, the other searching for your face.Your grip on him grew tighter once his fingers brushed the skin on your face but you eventually let go, allowing his hand to guide you slightly away from him.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You didn’t respond, but one look into your eyes, and he knew the answer. Whatever it was, it had affected you to the core, the broken look in your eyes could only be compared to the one he saw every time he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

His forehead rested on yours, both your eyes closing at the contact.

"It’s ok. I got you."

His hand found yours as he guided you toward his bed. It wasn’t until then that he noticed you still had your tactical gear on, dirt and crystals still hiding in some places. He grabbed the buckle of your vest, his eyes asking for permission to get it off. A slight nod gave him the confirmation, beginning the process of somewhat freeing you of the events you had seen. He got rid of his own garments too, leaving you both standing in front of yourselves with only underwear covering you. He dragged you into bed, your frames covered by the light white sheets on his bed.

Not many times had he allowed himself to think of you in a sexual manner, knowing how his body would react in a lustful way. But as he found himself looking at you with barely any clothes on, the desire was left on the back burner of his brain. You needed him. You needed his comfort, and he was more than willing to give it to you.

He would give you anything you asked for.

His hand rested on your face, tracing circles across your cheek, your eyes closed at the soothing action.

"I’m sorry." Your voice trembled. He could see you wanted to say more, but words failed to come out of your mouth

Bucky’s heart ached. He had never seen you in such a vulnerable state, and his mind was going cray at the thought of not being able to do anything to help you.

"It’s ok, sunshine. You don’t have to talk about it."

So you lay there, head against his chest, as he kept you between his arms, with nothing other than the sound of the crickets outside his hut surrounding you. And for the first time in a long time, you felt what being loved felt like.

That night, you kissed him for the first time. You didn’t stop, not even the next morning when he woke you up with breakfast already made and a cup of lavender tea.

Now

"Bring him to the table!" you yelled.

Your hand swept across the surface, knocking over every piece of paper, pencil, and piece of equipment. The vibrations of the heavier objects on the concrete floors matched the beating of your heart.

Bucky dropped Sam on the table. The man had gone unconscious on the ride to the safe house, the bullet wound that oozed liquid crimson was most likely the cause.The same crimson color now stains Bucky's clothes, and his leather gloves were also covered in a thin layer of it.

You brought your knife to slash through his clothes, the sharp metal cutting through them as if they were butter. The hole on his shoulder seemed to have no exit, the bullet was still inside him. You were glad Sam wasn’t conscious for the next hour.

The super soldier hovered over you for the entirety of the time you spent cleaning through the fragments that splintered from the bullet. Everything went relatively well until Sam started waking up, his body contorting in pain as you dug through his wound. Bucky brought him a bottle of vodka while you injected him with some local anesthesia.

Hours later, the wounded man was now resting on the only bed the safehouse had, his breathing bringing great comfort as it meant he was still alive. After half a bottle of vodka and a some painkillers diluted on his IV, you were sure he wouldn’t wake up until tomorrow.

The faucet sprayed cold water onto your palms. Your nails desperately tried to scrape away the traces of blood that still lingered in your skin, leaving red marks all across your knuckles. Dirt and dried blood were trapped underneath your fingernails, and no matter how much you tried to dig it out, it would stay right there.

Bucky’s footsteps brought you out of your trance, the heavy sound of his combat boots felt deafening with each step he took. You tried to tune him out, focusing once again on the sound of water, but it seemed as if Bucky had made it his purpose to be as loud as possible. You held onto the sink so strongly that you were sure it would snap.

A deep rage came from your stomach, spreading all over your body. The anger constricted your chest in such a way that you weren’t sure if somehow you were buried under a collapsed building, its weight invisibly crushing you.

It was his fault. It was all his fault.

You didn’t remember walking outside the bathroom, nor did you remember walking up to him and slapping away the cup of water his hand held.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" you barked at him.

"I—"

"I gave you one task. You had to wait until I gave you the signal so you could come in. Not guns blazing, not punching everyone that comes your way, not drawing everyone's attention to us. Your only fucking job was to wait for the distributor to show up and wait for my goddamn signal."

"What did you want me to do? Just stand there and do nothing?" he argued.

You were taken aback by his response. Part of you expected him to just let you scream at him and give you the same soft eyes he always gave you when you spoke to him.You weren't expecting him to snap back at you or to defend himself.

Maybe if things hadn’t gone sour between you two, you would’ve listened to what he said, and in return, he would’ve listened to you. But the anger was too strong to be subdued.

"I wanted you to follow the fucking plan."

"He was about to torture you!"

Bucky's thoughts returned to the old factory turned whorehouse.The way you had purposefully gotten caught and how they had tied you to an exposed pipe line. He could still hear the sound of the man’s hand smashing against your cheek.

"I can handle myself! I told you guys to stay put until the distributor was there. He knows I’m after him, and this was our only chance to catch him. And now he’s god knows where and Sam got fucking shot."

A heartbeat passed before Bucky came close to your face. His big frame towered over you, and his breathing hit your face.

"You’re fucking delusional if you think I was just going to let anything happen to you."

You scoffed, "Oh, so now you care?"

"I’ve always cared."

You pulled away from him, your eyes rolling at his pathetic words.

"Sure."

Perhaps it was the fact that you had been in danger no longer than a couple of hours ago, or maybe it was the heat of the fight that had left some residues on him. Whatever it was, it made Bucky courageous enough to reach for your arm.

"Look at me."

You swatted him away.

"Don’t fucking touch me."

But this time he wasn't going down without a fight.Not again.

"I know I was an asshole at the end of our relationship, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care for you anymore."

A bitter laugh came out of you. All of this had to be some sick joke. "When you care about someone, you don’t treat them like that. You didn’t care about me, and you sure as hell didn’t love me."

His hand tried to touch you again, and this time you let him. You were tired. Tired of fighting with him. You closed your eyes as soon as his skin came in contact with yours, his touch consuming all of your senses.

You opened your eyes to find him staring back at you, the blue eyes that once hurt you shining the same way they did the first time you kissed him.

"I did love you," he whispered into your lips. "I still do."

His words burned you like someone had branded you with hot iron in the chest.Even after all this time, he could still hurt you, Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? Why did he have to bring back the past you so fiercely tried to leave behind?

"Don’t." Your lower lip quivered. "Y-you can't just break my heart and then come back into my life and just say you still love me."

"I never stopped loving you."

Those five words were all it took to tear down what little control you had over yourself. A year ago it would've broken you to hear them but now they only brought a deep sense of indignation.

With a quick move, you pulled his hand away from you, your hands pushing against his chest until he hit the wall. You wanted him to hurt. You wanted to carve his heart out of his ribcage and throw it far away, maybe then he would understand what it felt like.

"Where was your love when I needed it, huh? Where was your love when I had no one else? Where was your love when I reached for you every night but you were already gone? Where was your love when I begged you to love me, to be there for me?" Your hands were clutching his jacket, and your vision was blurred by tears."Where the fuck was your love when you brought that girl to your apartment?"

Bucky never saw you like this, not even when he stomped on your heart with his indifference. Under the anger, the hate, and the surface indifference you showed him, he could see how broken you were. He could see how you were constantly struggling to put the pieces of yourself back together that he had torn apart.

He hated himself for extinguishing parts of you.

"I’m sorry."

A lapse of judgment.

That’s what you would tell anyone who asked you why you kissed Bucky that night. You would say that you had been blinded by the pure rage his mere presence would bring you. Or perhaps you would take the easy route and you would say that with everything that happened that night, almost being tortured and Sam getting hurt, you had acted in a primitive instict of searching comfort.

The truth was different. You could lie to yourself and say that you didn’t needed Bucky, not after all the things he had done. You lied to yourself constantly when you told yourself you were over him. You also lied to yourself when you claimed that your one-night stands had fulfilled you in the same way that Bucky had.

You couldn’t feel anything, not ever since you walked out of his apartment. You had tried different people, different cities. You had tried different alcohols and different drugs. You had tried anything that could help you fill the emptiness that had found a permanent home inside you. You felt nothing, not until you saw those cerulean eyes again.

Your kiss was aggressive, your lips smashing against his with strength and your hands finding their place in the back of his head. It took a second for Bucky to kiss you back as he thought his mind was playing tricks with him. But after you pressed yourself against his chest, his body reacted on muscle memory alone, his arms surrounding your waist.

It wasn’t what you expected, though. You thought that the specks of love that remained between you would be enough to bring back whatever it was that you were missing. Instead, you were met with the most intense hatred you've ever felt, mixed with the melancholy of what could've been.

He tasted like the past, but he still hurt like the present.

So you made a decision.If you couldn't bring yourself to love Bucky Barnes anymore, you would hate him with all that remained of your soul. You would hate him until both of you burned in the flames of your agony. You'd despise him until you'd ripped every part that matched the ones he'd so easily broken.

"I hate you," you whispered between kisses. "I fucking hate you."

Your words were daggers to his heart. His chest tightened, and his grip on you faltered for a second before he snapped out of it. This wasn’t about him. If you needed to tell him how much you despised him, he would gladly let you kill him with your words. It was the least you deserved.

"I know," he mumbled against your lips.

He felt your body guiding him through the room until the back of his legs hit against the couch where he would sleep. Your hands pushed against his chest, making him sit on the couch while you straddled his lap.

Clothes flew across the room, and you found yourself tearing his shirt apart in two while he only pulled yours off.You'd worry about that later; right now, nothing was more important than feeling your skin against his.

Your hands traveled over his chest, fingers grazing every part of his abdomen as you trailed down to his zipper. You palmed him over his jeans, his cock already hard, and you felt it twitch against the fabric with every touch you gave him. Groans left Bucky’s lips.

"I hate you," you repeated as a mantra.

He shouldn’t make you feel this way, but as you see his head going back when your hand opened his fly and found it’s place around his cock you felt your own desire pooling in your lower belly and the aching in your core became unbearable.

With swift movements, Bucky got rid of his pants and his underwear while you remained on top of him. With your frame still covered by a black lace bra and your black tactical pants on, he couldn't help but feel exposed when he looked at you.Deciding he didn’t wanted to be the only one naked his hands went to the side of your hips in efforts to get you rid of the fabric but your hand swatted him away.

Beg me, your eyes said.

For a moment, he considered tearing your pants apart the same way you had done with his shirt. However, the seriousness behind your eyes warned him that he might end things too soon if his stubbornness got in the way. So he gave in.

"Please, Sunshine." His hands gripped your waist, his hips grinding against your still-wrapped core, sending shivers down your spine."Please, let me see you."

You relented, unbuttoning your pants and throwing them away with your panties. In what were the longest seconds of Bucky’s life, you unclasped your bra, finally getting rid of the last barrier your body held on to.

You stood there, completely naked, staring at Bucky.He remembered the way your breasts felt when he held them. He remembered how soft your skin was. He remembered that if he bit on the skin of your neck, right where the jugular is, you would clench around him. He remembered. In the lonely nights when he needed some release, he would close his eyes and imagine your lips around his cock as he fisted himself in the solitude of his apartment.

All those memories didn’t compare to watching you in the flesh, with hungry, hateful eyes on him as you walked back to straddle him again.

His cock twitched once your legs fell to his sides, the heat of your body settling on his crotch. You sat on top of him, your wetness welcoming him once you lowered yourself. His length placed itself right between your lips, and a groan left him.

"Fuck."

Your hips began rocking in slow but sharp motions as he felt his cock coated with your slick. Slowly, you built up a rhythm that made both of you moan. His hands landed again on your hips, his fingers pressing on your skin in a way that was certain to leave bruises the next day. Your own hands gripped on Bucky’s biceps for stability, and you squeezed them every time you would feel him brushing against your clit.

You felt amazing on top of him, but that wasn’t what made his heart pound against his chest.

It was your eyes. Your eyes never left him, no matter how much pleasure you were pulling from both of you and how badly you wanted to roll your eyes as the coil inside of you tightened. Your eyes, which once showed him what love could look like, now looked at him with a simmering hatred he could not shake.

His chest tightened at the thought of never seeing them again. The electricity that ran through his body was replaced by a deep sense of hopelessness, and the more he kept his gaze on you, the more it amplified. You must’ve sensed the change in him because your movements stopped.

Broken eyes now stared at you with the ghost of tears in them. The anger that had driven your actions and your thoughts through all this had now subsided, allowing itself to mix with melancholy.

I love you. I’m sorry. I miss you. His eyes said.

I hate you. I’ll never forgive you. I wish I never met you. Yours answered.

And in the middle of the lust that was taking place right on the couch, both of your hearts broke again.

You pulled him back for a kiss that tasted of desperation and sorrow as tears fell from both your eyes. The saltiness of the tears bled into the kiss and mixed with it.Quickly, your hand guided his tip to your entrance. You needed him inside you like a person lost in the desert needs water. You craved him with every cell in your body, and it tore your heart apart.

"So tight." He moaned in your mouth as you sank into him.

The stretch of his length burned as you forced yourself to take him fully. It hurt, and even with your arousal completely covering him, you weren't prepared to take his thick length.You didn’t care though, you hoped it would make you forget your heartbreak. Bucky tried to stop you as he felt you struggling to take him in. His hands held your waist, but you shook your head before you started bouncing on him.

You didn’t want love from him. You didn’t want tenderness or care. You wanted roughness. You wanted strength and aggressiveness until the only thing you could feel was the ache between your legs.

The super soldier gave you what you wanted.

Bucky’s pace was brutal, his cock hitting the sweet spot only he could reach. The sound of his hips colliding with yours filled the room, bouncing off the walls and echoing through the hallway outside.In the back of his mind, Bucky was thankful Sam was knocked out with meds so he could be spared from the obscene orchestra your bodies played.

The pain quickly turned into pleasure. Your walls hugged him tightly, each thrust carried a strength that left you breathless. At some point your legs had given in, the only reason why you kept bouncing was the snap of his hips pushing you. He didn’t let go of you though, instead he pushed you against his chest in an embrace that surrounded you tightly.

Your head rested against his while your hands stayed on his chest. The sadness that mixed with the pleasure numbed everything else except for the bubbling up of your release. It pained you to admit that no one else could make you feel like Bucky, you had tried to find someone who could replicate what his touch could do for you, but no one ever came close.

You hated how much you missed him and how much you needed him.

"I wish you would’ve stayed dead." you panted. The poison behind your words shredded his heart. He knew you were saying it to hurt him, he knew you didn’t mean it, but the conviction behind it felt like a kick in the chest. "I wish we never brought you back."

"Me too." he finally admitted.

Bucky felt your walls constrict around him, and he could tell you were close. He drew you in for one last kiss, the kind that took your breath away. The type of kiss that was a solace in a world of agony. The type of kiss that meant a promise that carried forever.

You tightened around him as you came, and his thrusts slowed down as he rode you through your high. As you closed your eyes, more tears fell from the corners, so he reached out to wipe them away.Once you had recovered a little, his brutal pace came back, this time chasing his own release. You brought your lips to kiss his neck, feathery, soft kisses, and he felt his balls tightening. He was so close.

He tried to pull out so he could fist himself to the end but you didn’t budge, instead whispering in his ear.

"Inside."

He came harder than he had done in the last year. You felt his cock twitching inside as he covered your walls with his cum, the mess between your release and his own dripping out of you. You kept bouncing on top of him, making sure to return the favor by guiding him all the way through the end.

You stood up, the feeling of emptiness making you shudder when his cock left you, and his cum started leaking out of you. You turned to go find something to clean yourself up, but his metal hand stopped you. He guided you back to the couch before he walked towards the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came back with a towel, and he positioned himself right between your legs.

He cleaned you up just like he had done for so many years before.His other hand caressed your thigh as he made sure to wipe everything. And just as he always did for years, once he finished, he kissed your inner thigh, a couple of inches away from your pussy.

Bucky threw the towel to the floor, he would worry about it in the morning.As for right now, the only thing he wanted was to hold you close. So he did. He thanked the couch was big enough to fit you both as you layed together. He pulled the blanket he used to warm himself every night over you, and his arm surrounded your waist, his grip making your back settle against his front. His left hand traced lazy circles over your stomach while the other was used as your pillow.

For a few seconds, both of you allowed yourselves to reminisce in the past. He kissed the top of your head as you snuggled against him like you usually did. And as you felt his warmth behind you and inhaled his scent, everything seemed to be alright once again.

Except they weren’t. Bucky wasn’t the man who made you feel secure anymore, and you weren’t the woman who trusted him with all her heart. Both of them belonged to the past.

"I don’t love you anymore. I will never love you again." you broke the silence.

Bucky held you tighter as his heart broke once again.

"I don’t deserve your love." He whispered. "But I’ll still love you forever."

Then

Loving Bucky Barnes was never easy.

It wasn’t all bad, though. For many years you had been together, three and a half to be exact, where you could imagine a life with. Three years where there was no one you trusted more or preferred to be with.Three years that were the happiest of your life.

Those were a few of the reasons why he had asked you to marry him. And those were also a few of the reasons why you had said yes.

You had told yourself at the beginning that you couldn’t get attached to him for the safety of your heart. It didn’t matter that his touch felt like home or that during the times you spent apart, his eyes would be the only comfort you would find in your dreams. He would bring more heartbreak than love.

Oh, how right you had been.

Unfortunately for you, the heartbreak would come in a way you couldn’t have prevented.

The snap came and took him away from you. One second he was standing next to you, the next he was turning into dust that flew into the wind. The last thing he had said was your name and after that half the population was gone.

The years went by in a blur. Between nights filled with drugs and alcohol and days spent cramped up in your apartment, you were wallowing in the type of sadness that the rest of the population could understand. You kept your ring in your finger, it reminding you that what your memories craved for were real.

Bucky had been real.

With his departure, he had also taken your heart.

After a particularly bad night where you crashed your vehicle into a contention bar, Tony had taken it upon himself to help you, offering you a home close to his secluded one. You took it, not because you wanted to get better but because you wanted solitude. But if life had taught you anything about Tony Stark, it was that he was as stubborn as they come.

Every morning he would bring you breakfast along with a visit from a certain little baby that always wanted to be held by you, and sometimes she would be able to bring a small smile to your face. With time, the little baby turned into a little girl that would ask for a sleepover every once in a while, and you would gladly accept the offer to allow Tony and Pepper a night alone.

Things got better. You visited Steve and Natasha at the compound and even allowed yourself to go in missions of your own, as it turned out not even The Snap could make criminals take a break. You even went to one of Steve’s depressing support group meetings, never returning for the next one.

You couldn’t be strong all the time, though. Some nights, when the pain was so strong that it drowned you and the grief was too powerful to keep at bay, you would find yourself staring at the hundreds of pictures you had taken of him. Most of them were of you together, but there were a few you took when he wasn’t looking. The sunset behind him as he breathed in the clean air of Wakanda, or the small smile on his face as he tasted the food he cooked for you both.Even when he was reading some of the books he kept under his bed and a few wrinkles would show on his forehead as his whole focus remained in the text, he always looked beautiful.

With time, everything felt like a routine. Waking up alone, eating alone, going outside alone. Sleeping alone. Everything seemed to be stable, not good or bad, but just stable. You were sure this was the best you could do, or at least the best it could get.

That is, until a ray of hope appeared.

Time travel was the answer. Taken as a whole, it seemed like something out of a science fiction film, but it made sense.Bring the stones back and along with them everyone that had died. Surprisingly, it had worked, everyone that had been snapped away came back just as they had left. It should have been a moment of joy. It should've.

The thing about hope is that it comes with a price. Natasha and Tony were the price to pay.

Steve left shortly after.

You understood him. You understood why he left everything and everyone behind to go live a life with the woman he had always loved. You would be a liar if you said you wouldn’t have done the same if you were in his position. You understood why he did it but it still hurt to know you weren’t enough of a reason to stay and live a life together.

It seemed like you were on a streak of losing people. Wherever you turned, more people kept leaving your life. Wanda was gone, turned into the madness that grief could bring. Thor left to save other planets that needed him. Bruce... well, you weren’t sure where Bruce was, but he didn’t try to contact you.

Everyone was gone but Sam and Bucky.

Bucky. Your Bucky. The man you had spent the past five years crying for. The man who made you the happiest you'd ever felt.The man who felt like home.

But he wasn't your Bucky any longer.

This Bucky didn’t kiss you with the same tenderness he did so many years ago. Instead, he'd barely move his lips once yours touched his in what you'd call a mediocre peck.He also never initiated a kiss, it was you who always reached out for him.

This Bucky didn’t held you at night. Instead, he'd turn around, his back to you, and even if you reached for him between dreams, he'd guide your hand back to your side of the bed.Some nights, he would even choose to sleep on the floor of the living room when he thought you were asleep. It was as if the thought of touching you seemed appalling to him.

This Bucky never hugged you.

This Bucky never talked to you with love only with annoyance and indifference.

This Bucky never woke you up with breakfast.

This Bucky never tried to sleep with you.

This Bucky never said I love you.

Because this Bucky didn’t love you.

But you held hope, foolishly. Every day you tried to talk to him, show him in every possible way that you were still here with him. Every day you tried to make things better between you, you poured your heart and soul to try to fix what you didn’t even know was broken.

Things got worse a couple of months later.

As it turned out, time had taken a toll on Steve’s body, and one night he went to bed and never woke up. You found it a bit ironic the man out of time had finally run out of time.

His funeral was held on a sunny spring afternoon. People from all over the world showed up to say their final goodbyes to the man who had saved the world so many times. Friends, people he had saved, and heroes paid their respects to him. The first super soldier had finally been put to rest.

After everyone had cleared out, you went back to drop one last token for his departure. It was a picture of the both of you. Steve’s arm hung over your shoulders while both of you held a couple of beers. It had been the first time you had seen Steve outside of work related situations. That was the beginning of your friendship.

As you got back to his tombstone, you saw Bucky standing in front of it. His eyes were void of any expression, and he didn’t seem to be talking to Steve’s grave either. Bucky was just there, staring at the place where his best friend was buried.

He didn’t seem to notice when you stood next to him, nothing in his body gave any signs of acknowledgement. You gave him a couple of minutes before you reached for his hand. You knew that, even if he didn’t show it, he was in great pain. He had lost his last connection to the life he had once lived.

You wanted to be there to help him through his pain.

The contact only lasted a few seconds. Your touch surprised him, as he had jolted once your skin grazed his own. He turned his head to the side to give you a glare that you’ve never seen before. His eyes had been filled with pain, as you guessed, but they also carried hatred and disdain. He must’ve seen your expression, because a second later his eyes changed to a neutral expression.

"What are you doing here?" he muttered.

The shock of his stare lingered in you for a moment, but you quickly returned to yourself, a friendly smile on your face."I came to leave a little parting gift."

He hummed in acknowledgement, not sparing another glance at you as you put the photograph against the headstone, right in between the dozens of flowers that decorated it. Both of you stayed silent after that, the sounds of the birds and the faint rumbling of cars were the only sounds keeping you company. It was peaceful. It was good. Just the two of you enjoying a moment's calmness in silence.

For a few moments, you felt comfortable next to him. The first time in months since he came back. But good moments like that never lasted long.

Without notice, he turned around. Long, desperate strides guided him towards the exit of the graveyard. He wanted to create distance between you and him, find somewhere that was as far away from you as he could be. You felt how you were losing him.

But you fought for him, even when he seemed to not deserve it.

"Bucky." You called for him. He stopped in his tracks, but he didn’t turn around, so you took that as a sign to keep going. "I know you’re hurting right now, I am too, but I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you."

He didn’t answer for a few seconds, and you thought you had made a breakthrough. Maybe this was the time when things went uphill. This was the little push he needed to start healing and perhaps to try to rebuild the bridges that had burned. This was the little thread of hope you'd hung up on.

You were wrong.

"You have no idea how I feel," he said before leaving.

That night you came back to your cabin, and Bucky’s things were gone. The only thing left was a note that rested in the middle of the bed.

I found an apartment in the city. I need space.

You didn’t see him for a couple of months after that. You considered tracking him down but ultimately gave up as he had asked for space. He needed time on his own, and you could give it to him. You would give him anything he asked for.

You kept your word until Strange came to visit you, announcing news about Wanda. She was dead.

You barely remembered tracking down his address or making your way there. It wasn’t until you were facing his door that you realized what you had done. He asked for space but in that moment, you couldn’t give it to him. You needed your Bucky.

Knock, knock, knock.

It was late in the night, and you could hear the TV going on in the living room. He had to be home. After a few minutes without an answer, you knocked again, but the only thing that welcomed you was silence.

"Bucky," you called. Your voice was broken, you tried to fight the tears away, but saying his name broke what little self-control you had left. "Please open the door."

You rested your forehead against the door, finally allowing yourself to feel everything you had been pushing back ever since the fight with Thanos. Pain, grief, loneliness, hatred, sadness, despair. A cocktail of emotions ran through you in an overwhelming way and seemed to want to drown you.

"I know you’re in there." You cried. The tears that ran down your face landed on the floor. "I just— I know I said I could be strong for the both of us, but... I need you."

You knocked on the door again, this time with the side of your fist. The desperate sound of your knocking bounced through the walls of the deserted hallway.

"Please Bucky, please open the door. Wanda is dead." Your own cries stopped you from talking, the hole in your chest seemed to get bigger and bigger with each passing second. "Nat, Tony, Steve, Wanda. All of them are dead, and I—I can’t. I can’t keep losing people. I can’t lose you."

You couldn’t do this alone, not anymore. Your heart couldn’t take it anymore.

"I love you. God, I love you so much. I know you want space, but right now I need your love, Bucky. I need you to love me like you used to. Please love me." You begged.

And you waited. You waited for what seemed like hours, but it probably was just thirty minutes until you accepted he wasn’t coming out.

You left with half a heart that night.

Two weeks later, you came back to his apartment, ready to demand an explanation. Your love for him was strong, but you needed him to talk to you. You were ready to fight for your future. You were ready to fight for your love.

"Bucky!" you yelled as you knocked aggressively. "Bucky, open the fucking door!"

The door didn’t take long to open. It surprised you, your confidence and anger faltered for a second. This was a sign, perhaps it was him being ready to fight for you too. This was him showing you he still loved you.

Except the person who opened the door wasn’t Bucky.

It was a girl. A short brunette that was covered by Bucky’s black T-shirt and nothing more.

"Hi."

You wanted to scream. You wanted to burst into tears. You wanted to burn the world and leave everything behind. You wanted to die. But the only thing you could do was stay there and stare at the girl.

"Umm, Bucky is not here." She said awkwardly, your intense stared made her uncomfortable.

"Do you know where he is?" You questioned her. The words came out rougher than you intended, but as the heartbreak and despair set in, you couldn't care less.

"No. I, um, when I woke up he was already gone." She pulled the hem of the t-shirt down in an effort to convey her nervousness, but it only infuriated you more. "Are you a friend of his?"

You wanted to laugh. God, this couldn’t be happening.

"Yeah, of sorts."

"I can let you in so we can wait for him, but I have to leave in like twenty minutes."

"You can’t call him?" you asked, bitterly. You knew Bucky had gotten a new phone but he never gave you his number.

Her face blushed before she answered. "No, uh. We met last night, and he didn’t give me his number.

"Oh."

You didn’t know what would be worse, if he had seen this girl ever since he left your cabin or the fact that he had a one night stand with a random girl. It didn’t matter, though, Bucky Barnes had crushed your heart.

The girl, whose name was Clara, kept her word, leaving minutes later as she had to go to work. She seemed like a nice girl who had no idea the man she had slept with was engaged. And perhaps in another world you would’ve been nicer to her if your heart hadn’t collapsed in on itself when she opened the door. Maybe she was a little naïve, as she let you stay inside the apartment so you could wait on Bucky. She had also asked you to give him her number, the digits scribbled on a piece of paper.

You broke down the moment she closed the door behind her. You thought of trashing the place, breaking every piece of furniture he owned, and burning all his clothes in a pit in the middle of his living room. You imagined yourself hurling the stupid leather jacket he seemed to be fond of lately.You also thought about settling for burning everything to the crisp, wanting to see the look on his eyes once he saw his apartment consumed by flames.

You didn’t do any of those things, though; instead, you waited. This time, hours actually went by, the once bright morning turned into the darkness of the night, and you never moved from your spot on the couch, not even to turn on the lights.

Bucky came back to his apartment around 11 p.m. When he noticed the apartments' lack of lightning, he felt relieved not to have to deal with the girl he had taken home the night before. By the looks of it, she left a while ago.

He turned on the light before taking of his jacket, placing it on the coat hanger next to the door.As he walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water, he tossed his keys on the counter.He had to change the sheets on his bed and do laundry tomorrow. The glass was half full when a voice behind him spoke.

"You have a nice place here."

The glass dropped from his hands into the kitchen sink. His head snapped quickly towards you, finding you seated in the middle of his couch. He turned off the sink, before making his way toward you. You couldn’t be here, not today of all days.

"How the hell did you get in here?" he barked.

He didn’t mean it like that, not in the way it sounded. He wasn’t angry at you being inside his apartment, he was scared. Scared that you had arrived at the wrong time and seen something you weren’t meant to see.

He finally stood in front of you and saw it. Your nose was slightly puffy and red, like you had been crying for some time. Your shoulders were slumped, defeat washing over your posture. But the thing that hurt the most to see was the pain behind your eyes. It wasn’t the normal type of pain of loss or grief as you had experienced these past months. No, it was something else.

It was the pain of heartbreak and betrayal.

It couldn’t be.

You couldn't have been here when she was still in his house. There was no way, life could not hate him this way. It had to be something else that broke your heart, he had hurt you many times this past couple of months, and today was probably the day it all crashed down. It had to be that.

"Clara let me in."

No.

"Nice girl, she left her number for you."

You knew, you had seen the girl who was apparently named Clara, he didn’t really remember it. Bucky knew he had to do something, anything that could save your relationship. Perhaps if he begged you not to leave him, to let him explain everything that had been going on with him, and if he spent the rest of his days making it up to you, then you would stay. Maybe you could forgive him.

He didn’t do any of that, though. The same thoughtless attitude washed over him like it had done ever since he came back. It was as if his brain forced him to act this way in order to protect his own heart in the long run.

Instead of doing everything he could to fix this, he shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest.

"How long?" you asked. Bucky could see your eyes watering as you tried to keep yourself together. He hated himself. "How long have you been cheating on me?"

His mouth answered without his permission.

"Does it even matter?"

Maybe he was right. Maybe it the answer wouldn’t change the way you were feeling; if anything, it was bound to hurt you more. But a part of you wanted to know the truth, to extinguish the other half of your heart.

You didn’t budge, so Bucky finally answered, not before rolling his eyes. "She’s the only one. I met her yesterday in a bar. "He shrugged. "It just happened."

You knew the answer, yet it still hit you with the force of a thousand bricks. He admitted it. He fucking admitted it and he didn’t even show a single morsel of remorse. There weren't any apologies or begs, no promises, or big romantic and sorrowful speeches. You could feel your own love being smothered, the flames that had once brought so much warmth to your soul were replaced by cold and emptiness.

Bucky Barnes didn’t love you anymore.

Now

Bruises covered your body as well as new injuries that would probably give you more scars. Dirt and blood slid down the drain, exhaustion settling in as your muscles relaxed. The droplets of water fell against your body, washing away everything that had happened today.

You found the intel, you knew every single name of everyone involved with the heinous experiments you were chasing.

You had almost died, one of the guys Bucky and you had cornered, had a bomb attached to his chest. You tried to stop him, your gun pointing at his head, but you were too slow. The explosion shook the entire structure, causing a chain collapse of the floors around you.

Bucky had jumped to protect you, his body acting as a human shield, deflecting some of the impact.His flesh arm had a large metal piece embedded in it, as well as some burns on his back. The explosion had knocked you both out of the air, and the resulting wave had thrown you both across the room.

As you tried to shake away the confusion and the ringing from your ears, you felt his hand find its place along your face and travel to your stomach. As he scanned you, blue eyes looked at you with fogginess but also deep concern.

"You ok?" he had whispered.

You nodded, but your mind was still fuzzy, perhaps you had hit your head, but you couldn’t remember much.

But you remembered the desperation. You remembered everything crumbling apart as you tried to make your way to the exit. You remembered Sam’s voice screaming through your earpieces to get the fuck out of there. You remembered Bucky's hand always keeping you safe, guiding you through the clouds of cement and smoke.

You also remembered how Bucky’s steps faltered before collapsing. Neither of you had noticed he had a second piece of metal scrap buried between his ribs. If he had removed it, his enhanced healing would have taken care of it, but the extenuating movements had caused damage to his lungs, bleeding, and a lack of oxygen, causing him to pass out.

You remembered screaming for Sam’s help, begging him to help you save Bucky. You remembered the tears falling from your eyes as you tried to pull Bucky to safety, begging him not to die, begging him to wake up. You remembered the fire catching up to you, it’s warmth burning your skin. You wanted to kill Bucky, you would be happy if you never seen his face again, dance on top of his grave as you celebrated the end of his existance.

Then why were you fighting so hard to save him?

"Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. You can’t do this to me!"

"Bucky wake the fuck up!"

"Please! I can’t lose you like this!"

Fortunately, Sam came for you, him and all his Captain America glory had saved both of you, his wings protecting all three of you as you carried Bucky outside. You had barely gone a few steps ahead when the building finally set one last explosion, ending with everything on it's way.All three of you landed on the floor with a thud as the shock wave reached you.

You focused your attention on Bucky's wound, which was already healing, but his lack of response worried you.His breathing was barely existent, and his heartbeat was decreasing. You had straddled his lap and began performing CPR on him while asking Sam to go fetch the adrenaline shot you stored in the vehicle. You had punctured Bucky's chest with it, and after a few seconds, he had woken up.

You remembered clinging to him as he tried to sit straight, the desperation finally gone from your body.

The body behind you wrapped his hands along your waist, pulling you out of your memories and spreading the soap he had covered you with. Bucky's fingers traced all the way down your body, removing every trace of stress.

After everything happened, Sam told you to go back to the safehouse while he met with Joaquin to try and start locating people with the intel you had gathered. You thought about fighting him, but one look at Bucky and any fight you had left was done.

A knowing look from Sam told you this wasn’t just to let both of you rest and get cleaned up. It was a second chance. A second chance at the talk you had avoided to had with Bucky ever since that night you slept together.

You drove back to the safehouse, and once you had gotten inside, everything crumbled apart inside of you. As you reached out to Bucky, your tears had fallen, your hand lingering in his fleshy arm, right where his wound was.His hand cupped your face, his thumb tracing the stream of blood that fell from your eyebrow. In the silence of the room, no words were exchanged, but both your hearts understood.

Just for today, you would allow yourselves to comfort each other.

His lips peppered kisses along your shoulder as he cleaned you, his lips sometimes finding your neck or your lips when you would press yourself against him. As you spread the shampoo over his head, your fingers massaged his scalp with the tenderness he had missed, his eyes closing every time you hit the right spot.

After drying yourselves and changing into new clothes, you both layed on the bed, covered over the head with the thin white sheet you had. You faced each other, blue eyes meeting yours. Your fingers found his face as you traced along every crevice and line you hadn’t seen before. Bucky appeared to have aged years in the time you hadn't seen him, but he remained as beautiful as ever.

Your heart ached in your chest, and you couldn’t fight it anymore. You had denied yourself the other feelings that remained inside of you other than hate and betrayal, but today, as death seemed to call for both of you, it was clear you didn’t want Bucky Barnes to die. A part of you hated him so deeply you weren’t sure you would be able to stop, but no matter how strong the hatred was, you were sure a part of you still loved him.

However, that part of you was broken. Battered and bruised to death by his own doing but it was still there. It was locked inside the thousand-foot wall you had built around it to keep it safe. Refusing to ask questions, refusing to talk to him, and refusing to admit the pain you were in. But in doing so you hadn’t given yourself the opportunity to heal. To move on.

So you allowed yourself to feel and to talk. For both your sake and his.

"Why did you do it?" you broke the silence. His breathing faltered as your hand retracted back to your side. "Why did you hurt me like that?"

Bucky struggled to find the right words. You were asking him the same question he had asked himself for many, many nights. He asked himself that question when he wouldn’t reach for you at night. He asked himself that question when he didn’t open the door for you.

He asked himself that question when you walked out of his life.

You deserved the truth. The whole, unapologetic, heartfelt truth. So he gave it to you.

"The first time I came back to myself, after fighting Steve in the helicarrier, I realized the world had moved on without me. My plans, my family, and the people I knew were all left in the past. They all moved on without me, everyone was gone except for Steve. I had a plan, after the war I would go back and find myself a beautiful girl to marry." A sad smile posed on his lips as he reminisced. "I wanted the white picket fence and three kids package. Cookouts with my family and friends while I was still a war hero. But all of that was gone the moment I woke up in a time that wasn’t mine. My dreams were gone."

He paused before reaching for your face, his eyes closing before opening again, tears streaming down his cheeks."Ever since I woke up, I was a man drifting in a time that wasn’t mine, in a life that wasn’t mine. I didn’t have any dreams, or aspirations other than to survive and perhaps discover the truth. Nothing made sense to me, not until I met you." His thumb wiped away the tears you didn’t know they were falling. "You were the very first person, aside from Steve, that was kind to me. You talked to me, listened to what I had to say. You showed me what this new world was about, how to survive in it, and above all, you never doubted my innocence. It wasn’t because you knew me like Steve did, or because he had asked you as a favor. You were my friend, the very first I made when I was lost. And along the way, you turned into more, you were my new dream. I fell in love with you, and suddenly it didn’t matter that I wasn’t supposed to be here, or what it could’ve been because with you, I finally felt like I belonged somewhere."

A sob escaped you, his words burning your heart, branding them with the love you once felt for him. The heartbreak and the pain came once again, but it felt different. It was comforting in a way that scared you, terrified you. You knew he had loved you once, but you had stored those memories far away where they couldn’t hurt you. Because it was easier to tell yourself that Bucky had never actually loved you than to think he had loved you and had still betrayed you.

"But no matter how much time passed or how loved or comfortable I felt, I was still scared. I was terrified. Terrified of the same thing happening again. Every day, I'd tell myself, 'Something is going to happen, something is going to take me away from you, and when I come back, another hundred years will have passed.' And it did happen. When Thanos snapped me away, I came back, and to me only seconds had passed, but for you it was five years. Everything had changed again, even you. There was this sadness that seemed to have nested behind your eyes every time you looked at me. And every time I looked at you, I could see how much you had suffered because of me, it was my fault, and I couldn’t do anything about it."

"It wasn’t your fault." You tried to argue, but his words interrupted you.

"I felt like it was. I felt like I must’ve had some sort of curse that would always take me away from what made me the happiest, and in return, I would hurt everyone around me with it. I had died once again and the world kept going, once again. And I tried really hard to fight those thoughts, but it was as if a cloud of darkness would whisper to me that I didn't belong here anymore.That everything had changed once again, and it would happen again and again and again until I finally died. And I didn't know what to do; it was as if this voice was drowning me, washing away every ounce of happiness I had left inside me until all that remained was anger and resentment."

His voice had broken, as had his ability to hold back the tears.He had buried this for so long, too embarrassed to say them aloud, to admit how he had messed up everything because he was afraid.He wasn’t the man who had sworn to protect you against everything, he was a coward. A coward who had let his own fear hurt you in ways he could never fix.

"I’m sorry. I’m so sorry." Bucky kissed your forehead. "You didn’t deserve any of what I did to you, and I don’t think I could ever forgive myself for doing that. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me, I’m sorry I pushed you away when all you did was trying to help me. I’m sorry I slept with someone else. I'm sorry I messed everything up because the truth is, you have been the best thing that has ever happened to me, past and present, and if I had to go through all of the pain, torture, and heartbreak all over again just to meet you, I would."

You stayed there in silence for minutes. Neither of you dared say anything else that would break the silence. Both your hearts had been through a lot today, from the threats of death to the realizations of love and pain that had been confessed. But amongst the suffering and the torment, both of your hearts began to heal, and the pieces that had been ripped apart came back to where they belonged.

You took his hands into yours, your lips kissing his knuckles. "I don’t know if I could ever forgive you for what you did." Bucky’s eyes closed in ache, he knew it was a possibility, but it still hurt to know there was no hope, but your words stopped him from spiraling. "But I would like to try."

Hope. A tiny silver of hope.

"Do you think there is a chance for us in the future?"

You considered it. Your mind and your heart still pulling towards different directions but none of them letting you decide. Would you be willing to risk your heart once again for Bucky Barnes, or has the damage been too great to be fixed and covered? "I don’t know."

"That’s ok. I'm not going to ask about it again unless you want me to."

He kissed you one last time. His lips still had a subtle taste of smoke and burned, but above it was something overpowering, something both of you felt as he deepened the kiss. You both tasted redemption and forgiveness.

Forever

"Thanks for helping me."

"Don’t thank me, I’m only doing it for the beer."

Bucky and you chuckled at his poor attempt at a joke, your footsteps echoing in the half-empty apartment. A couple of seconds later, your mattress landed with a loud thud in your bedroom, making you happy to be finally done. You threw yourself on the bed, Bucky following you close behind, his heaviness bouncing you off. You turned to your side, resting your head on your hand, and he replicated your pose.

It had been a year and a half since you decided to bring Bucky back into your life, and things had changed dramatically since then.You stopped doing solo missions and moved to New York, where you split your time between assisting Sam and Bucky with their shenanigans and volunteering at the woman's shelter Sam had connected you with.

In the beginning, it was difficult to adapt to a tamer lifestyle than the one you had lived in the past year, but listening to all those women, the things they had been through, showed you that sometimes the thing people need to start healing is to have someone along the way.

Bucky and you had become friends, just as you had been when you first met. It took time to get back to the beginning, but soon you found out how much you needed him as a friend, not a lover or a soulmate but just someone with whom you could talk. And, over the course of the many nights you spent talking, forgiveness found its way into your heart.You didn’t forget the past between both of you, but along the way there was understanding and care.

"How was your date?"

You shrug. "It was ok, not that great to be honest."

During this time you had gone on a couple of dates, even went out with a guy for a couple of months, and since you and Bucky were ‘just friends’ you thought it would be uncomfortable to talk to him about them. But he had developed a habit of surprising you, and as it turned out, he was okay with it. When you asked why he was okay with it, his response surprised you.

"I love you, I’ll always love you. But if you need me as a friend and nothing more, then I’ll be your friend."

Your heart was still reluctant about him, after all, pain is a thing you can hardly forget. That had been the reason why you had tried to find someone else. Someone who could make you laugh as hard as he did, someone who could make you blush with just a cocky smile, someone who could calm you down and make everything better by simply holding you close at night.Someone who could make you happy. But all of them failed, because they weren’t Bucky Barnes.

No one ever compared to Bucky Barnes, because after all the lies, heartbreak, and death surrounding you, he was still the only person who felt like home.

Blue eyes stared at you and all you could feel was your heart racing. He was the man you had once loved and he had betrayed you, but time had mended your heart. The part of you that hated him was gone, and instead the love you felt for him came back, maybe not as strong as it once was but it didn’t matter. Your love was willing to build itself up, your love was willing to let him in one last time.

"Ask me" you uttered. Your voice was so quiet that you thought he wouldn't hear you, but his puzzled expression told you otherwise.

"What?"

Your hand grabbed his, your thumb was drawing circles on his skin.

"Bucky, ask me."

Bucky’s heart stopped. A part of him had always told him that you would never want him back, and he couldn't blame you. He had hurt you in so many ways that he could never forgive himself. He had been sure the best he could have from you was friendship, and he had made his peace with it. Having you as only a friend was better than not having you at all.

But you were giving him an opportunity, and he would be damned if he didn’t take it.

"Would you—" he paused, clearing his throat.The nervousness inside him erased his ability to speak. "Would you like to go out for dinner? As in a date?"

You made it seem as if you were thinking about it, but he didn’t worry about it. He knew your answer already.

"Yeah, I guess I can make time for one date."

You smiled. You gave him your biggest, most genuine smile in a long time.He smiled too.

Loving Bucky Barnes hadn’t been easy. But as you both lay in your beds, his hands caressing your face and new hope brewing between you, your heart told you that this time would be different.

He wasn't the same tormented man from another time you'd fallen in love with, and you weren't the same broken but hopeful girl he'd loved with all his heart.You both had hurt each other, but you had also grown, both of you in your own ways, and yet destiny had brought you back together.

This time, neither of you was scared.

This time, loving him would come as easily as breathing.

If you like the story please interact: reblogs, likes and comments go a long way. Feedback is always appreciated! Feel free to message me about it.

Tag list: @wintasssoldier @fallenoutofrose @cjand10 @nouk1998 @smplymrvl @littlemiss-yeehaw @magnificentsvn @kentokaze @gostodosopa @musicgirl44 @rebloggingmyrecs @mbindzus-blog @pampeop @buckystwilight @blackhawkfanatic @miss-i-ship-it @bibliophilewednesday

#bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #marvel fanfiction #marvel cinematic universe #avengers fanfiction #avengers fic

990 notes · View notes

thenanamisimp · 6 months

Text

This isn't something I've really done much since I started this blog but I really wanted to discuss this week’s TGCF episode.

This is your spoiler warning!!

Heaven official's blessing season 2, episode 6 spoilers but there are also discussions of the respective scenes from volume 2 so if you haven't finished reading the novel, I'd suggest maybe not reading this post.

For context, I saw a user on twitter discuss how the donghua has been adapting Hua Cheng's display of emotions towards Xie Lian.

Source

I also saw another user discuss the difference between how the novel/audio drama and the donghua have been showing Hua Cheng expressing emotions.

(I can't share the source as the OP is now private on twitter)

While I haven't actually listened to the audio drama and I'm only on my first re-read of TGCF, these posts inspired me and I have thoughts and opinions that I need to share before I implode (one day it’ll happen I swear).

The scene the posters are talking about is after hcg saves xl from the heavenly Xianle palace, where they talk about what happened at paradise manor (aka xl apologising for burning down the armoury and lying to hcg about the earth master and hcg apologising for hurting xl’s arm).

In the donghua, we see hcg very obviously upset. He appears obviously and genuinely very sad about having hurt xl, even with the whole incident having been an accident. The distress in his eyes and voice is evident and clear-cut, seeming perhaps even a bit childish. In contrast, when reading this scene in the novel, while hcg definitely comes across upset, his distress appears a bit more calm and collected and he instead truly seems like a responsible adult who made a mistake and is sincerely apologetic for it to xl.

I believe that there’s multiple reasons why the dongua team chose to show hcg’s emotions in the way that they did. In my opinion, a reason why they could’ve chosen to do it this way is because of censorship. Now hear me out; clearly as a western fan I can’t speak much on Chinese censorship as I’m not highly knowledgable on the subject. However, I’d like to believe that the producing team is trying to work around the censorship laws in their own way. By making hcg’s emotions a little more over-the-top and obvious, it’s a lot easier for us as the viewer, especially queer fans that might understand queer dynamics better than others, to see and pick up on the subtext of what those exaggerated emotions mean while never having to be said out loud. And yes, we could argue that for those of us who have read the novel, it’s easier to recognise those subtle moments of vulnerability even if hcg’s reaction was made as ambiguous as it is in the book, because we have a lot more context. We have to remind ourselves that Hualian’s love story is never gonna be shown in the donghua in the same as the novel and people who are new to the story won't pick up on their relationship as easily.

As someone who hand’t heard of TGCF until Netflix licensed the donghua in my region (in 2021 I think?), I actually highly appreciate this difference in hcg’s character in the donghua. And while I don’t appreciate queerbaiting, watching season 1 made me search for the original source material and ended up with 8 very expensive books on my shelf (it took me 2 years to find volume 2 in stock somewhere…. 2 YEARS because I refuse to buy from amazon). San Lang (specifically referring to hcg’s form in volume 1 or season 1) is definitely slightly more aloof and energetic than hcg in his real form, so I do believe that his adaptation in season 1 was a lot more true to the source than season 2 seems to be.

My personal opinion is that, we need to view the donghua with a little more leniency as they have limits to the scenes they will be adapting later on (if the donghua doesn’t get dropped. Let us all pray together) and they have to make some things a little more obvious (but still no homo) to keep as much of the gay factor as they can without getting, you know, arrested. At the end of the day, it comes down to us what we prefer to consume and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people preferring one over the other. It's valid to prefer hcg in the novels and it's valid to also enjoy hcg's donghua adaptation, even if he's different and not completely true to the OG material.

Now when it comes to the whole “making xl seem oblivious thing”…. The jury is still out on this one I’m afraid. This was the final scene of the latest episode meaning, we don’t actually know how they’re gonna adapt the following scenes and this could very heavily affect the way xl reacts from here on. An adaptation is just that and like mentioned before, the donghua team has to make decisions on how to adapt things due to censorship. And at the end of the day, I think this is an interesting take on xl’s character as one of the biggest parts of his character is how he struggles to accept love and care from other people so one can argue that… He actually is oblivious in this scene? Especially at this point in the story considering he’s known hcg for like, a week, 2 weeks max (do not quote me on that, I haven’t actually calculated, I am lazy. Point is, he hasn’t known him for very long at this point in time). And while I would for sure be a bit disappointed if he still is presented like this later on in the story, we’re still too early into it to criticise the donghua over this and future scenes that haven’t even been touched yet. It’s not in any way fair to base our opinions on the upcoming scenes on a singular 2 minute clip of Hualian’s interaction.

So, I have said my peace. Please remember that everything I’ve discussed is purely my opinion and not fact, so take this post with a grain of salt. I’d actually love to discuss this further with people so please send asks if you have anything to add!

(This is also another good post to read about the censorship stuff I talked about in this post. I like how this user phrased it.)

Once again, thank you for reading a (lengthy for once) ramble!

theNanamiSimp

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #tgcf season 2 #heaven official's blessing #heaven official's blessing season 2 #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #please nobody attack me about this #these are OPINIONS #thanks

28 notes · View notes

sft-chrry · 1 year

Text

kagaya

pairing: k. ubuyashiki x fem!reader

warnings: swearing, repeating of words

song: jenny by studio killers (i just replaced jenny with kagaya because yes?😭)

a/n: this has been sitting on my google docs for 5 months now and i just want to post it because it had potential and now its poof.

“i don’t get why you can’t ask him,” ume complained as she had heard (name) overthink way too much. “he’s not going to reject you, well we’re not sure about that but still! if he is going to reject you, he'll do it in a gentle way.”

“you don’t understand, ume, kagaya and i have been friends since first year. if he does like me his friends, especially the one with 3 girlfriends would’ve teased him about it! plus he doesn’t even hangout with me anymore,” her eyes softened when she said that earning an eye roll from ume.

it was true though, he was busy being a student council whilst she was busy having fun with her friends.

an idea sparked on ume’s head.

“why not confess to him with a song? so that if he does reject you, you have a reason. just tell him that you were singing through chat?”

“that's so stupid!”

“and it sounds like you would do it.” ume whispered but it was loud enough for (name) to hear it. she walked out of their shared dorm to attend her class.

(name) pouted for 2 minutes and decided she’ll do it. she huffed and grabbed on her phone to open their conversation. their last chat was 5 days ago when (name) was asking where muzan was.

(name)

kagaya, darling, you're my best friend

kagaya

hello, (name)

i think i’m very aware of that.

(name)

but there's a few things that you don't know of

kagaya

like?

(name)

why I borrow your lipstick so often

kagaya

whaat?

i don't think i had lipstick.

these are all yours?

(name)

i’m using your shirt as a pillow case

kagaya

so you had my missing shirts?

(name)

i wanna ruin our friendship

we should be lovers instead

seen

she started to sweat and tossed her phone on her bed just before she plopped she remembered she had class with him.

she cursed under her breath and changed her clothes. ignoring the text messages that were notifying her.

gasping for air, she sat on her chair and placed her books on the table. she was late but so was the professor.

curiously, she glanced at where kagaya would often sit with his friends and saw him looking at her with his soft eyes. her face flushed and she went to look at her textbook to her luck the professor arrived.

she was a girl in love so she couldn’t help stealing a few glances at kagaya who looked peaceful.

when the class ended the professor asked her to stay behind. he told her that her grades were failing and if doesn't do anything about it she’ll have to take it again next semester. of course, being one of the school's delinquents, she did not listen to a word he said but her heart dropped to his next words.

“i'm afraid you’ll need tutoring. im sure ubuyashiki won't mind tutoring you.”

she choked on her own saliva as her professor gave her a concerned look and asked her if she was ok. y/n gave him a nod and asked him when which he responded

“well im not sure, i’ll remind you if i have talked to ubuyashiki”

(name) walked out of class zoning out, ignoring that someone has been trying to get her attention. she snapped out of her thought when the person tapped her shoulder

when she saw it was ume and behind her was kagaya who was walking towards her, she quickly grabbed ume’s hand and ran to the building of their dorms. ume smacked (names) head and called her an idiot.

“we were supposed to get lunch! now we’re back here so you buy our lunch!” she demanded to her best friend and went to talk about what happened in chemistry. ume noticed that her friend was not interested in a word she was saying so she shut her mouth.

“no, continue your story i was listening” that caused ume to have a smile on her face and talked. she asked her what happened in economics and (name) told everything.

ume smacked her head again and scolded her for “wasting her chance with kagaya” she ignored the girl and poured herself a cup of water and drank it while going to her messages. one message had caught her attention and when she read it she choked on her water causing ume to panic and slap her back.

“jesus you don’t have to slap it that hard,” she coughed out before yelling “holy shit! holy-“ looking at her roommate while her roommate was looking at her all confused.

“he accepted it! my confession!” she twirled around, hugged ume, ran around, before diving on her bed to smack it, stood up to hug ume again to thank her, going outside, giving her roommate some money for food, going inside again and calmed herself which she failed as she continued to act like that for another 5 minutes.

when she calmed down she showed her best friend what he had sent her, causing the two of them to squeal for another 2 minutes.

eventually they both calmed down and ordered something. since (name) had a free period she decided to sleep for 2 hours and when the alarm went off she fixed herself and dressed up.

as she had a date with her long-time crush.

🍒 reblogs and notes are appreciated !

🍒 sft-chrry 2023

#rii’s fic #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #fluff #modern au #songfic #kagaya ubuyashiki #kagaya x reader #kagaya ubuyashiki x reader #kagaya fluff

79 notes · View notes

aster-tiger · 1 year

Text

The Raging Witch

Law x OFC, Zoro x OFC, Luffy x OFC, Zoro x Luffy, Law x Zoro, Law x OFC x Zoro

Warnings: swearing, pr0n with plot, shameless smut, bisexuality, consensual k!nk, 3some, b0ndage, emotional slow burn, developing relationship, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, bonding, mating (not abo), post Punk Hazard, post Dressrosa, changing pov (no head hopping), mm relationship, mmf relationship, english is not my first language, no beta we die like men

You can find the whole story on AO3

Chapter 24: Aftermath

"Go away, brat. You'll only get an aneurysm if you stay here."

Daria took the last drag out of her cigarette and scrunched the butt against the wall she was leaning on. Then she let out a long, slow stream of smoke.

She had purple bags under her bloodshot eyes, as if she didn't sleep in days. Her face looked worn out and strained, but her hands were steady as she reached for another cigarette.

"That's why I need to stay," Law glared at the medic. "You'll kill her with your quack methods."

She lit up the cigarette, without looking at him. The flame from the lighter painted her face with an orange glow.

"Out of the two of us," she swung the cigarette between herself and Law, “which one has an actual medical license?”

“Where did you get yours? At a butcher's shop?”

"Funny,” she snorted dismissively, before taking a drag. “I've worked with her for six years before she met you, and I've never seen her hurt this bad."

"Did it occur to you that she's never fought a yonko before?" Law snapped.

She took a deep drag, the end of the cigarette lighting up bright yellow.

"She left Sin City and the next thing we know, she goes to fight a shichibukai. Apparently, her heart stopped during the battle. Then she came here to fight a yonko," she tilted her head and blew the smoke upwards. "Have you thought about what she'll do next? And if it will finally kill her?"

"You speak too much, Daria," Rita's voice sounded behind Law's back.

Law turned his head and saw the older woman standing in the middle of the corridor just behind him. He didn't hear her coming or sense her presence.

"He's a mate," Daria replied and pushed off the wall. She pointed towards the sliding door closest to her. "Rage is in there. Go see her, then fuck off. I don't want you looming over my shoulder and spewing your stuck up crap. She'll live, that's all that should concern you."

Law strode past Daria and opened the door.

He was greeted by a rush of warm air.

The well-lit room housed a heater in one corner, giving it a noticeably higher temperature than the rest of the palace. Amidst the array of machines surrounding the woman lying on the futon, a steady beeping emanated from the heart monitor. Thick blankets covered her, revealing only her head and palms.

Law's teeth ground together at the sight of the IV lines connected to her palms.

As he drew nearer, his heart sank at the sight of her face. Her lips and cheeks bore bruises and scabbed wounds, her once radiant and warm complexion had paled to an ashen brown shade. Singed hair served as a grim reminder of her battle with King the Wildfire. Though she hadn't taken him down single-handedly, it was Rage, according to Law's crew, who had absorbed the brunt of King's attack, allowing her crewmates to deliver the decisive blow.

However, it wasn't the visible marks, wounds, or singed hair that tightened Law's throat. It was the white streaks in her hair and the change in her features. Despite being only twenty-five, she looked a decade older. Her prematurely greying hair served as a clear indication to the toll her excessive use of the devil fruit had taken on her body and lifespan.

He sat next to the futon and gently took her hand. Despite the blankets and heater, her fingers felt cold. The skin on her knuckles was cracked and scabbed, and he noticed more scabs on the underside of her hand. He moved his hand and held her fingers carefully, to avoid aggravating her wounds.

"She looks just like Sin now," Daria's voice came from somewhere behind Law. "Sin is fifty-five this year and doesn't have a single grey hair or wrinkle."

Law remained silent. This was his greatest fear: the devil fruit taking its toll on Rage’s lifespan.

"As a doctor, would you let someone with damaged knee cartilage run a marathon?They'd probably never walk again if they attempted such a feat."

Law stroked Rage's fingers with his thumb.

"She awakened the devil fruit," Daria continued in her dry tone. "Before going to Onigashima, she used the devil fruit extensively. She even created a supply of healing balls for us. She made even more during the battle. The girls from the rooftop have already recovered, thanks to the remaining healing balls. She ran several marathons with bad knees. While any other doctor would advise her to stop running, I won't intervene."

Law's head snapped sharply, fixing Daria with a scathing glare.

Daria leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed and tapping her hand on her bicep while holding an unlit cigarette. She met Law's glare with disdain.

"She means a lot to me, so I'll let her decide how she wants to die."

Before Law could retort, Rita stood beside Daria and placed a warning hand on her arm.

"Kisa is leaving soon," Rita informed. "She's waiting for Marco the Phoenix outside the palace."

Daria’s gaze focused on the heart monitor. "I don't care. It's time for another treatment anyway."

Sensing that Rita wanted to prevent Daria from speaking to him, Law wondered if the crew had plans to take Rage away. While Kisa's departure didn't concern him much, he silently stood up and left the room to find the first mate.

He found Kisa sitting on the stairs to the palace's main entrance. She wore leather pants and a fur-lined jacket, with her hair neatly brushed back and braided. A backpack rested at her feet.

He sat down right beside her, close enough for their knees to touch. "Rita said you're leaving.”

"Yes, I am,” she replied with a small smile.

"I thought you'd want to wait until Rage wakes up to say goodbye."

Her smile remained as she shook her head. "There's no need. She doesn’t like goodbyes."

"Do you hate her?" he asked, searching her eyes.

She let out an amused huff and patted his shoulder. "I wish her the best. Take care of her, ok? She can be reckless."

"I want to take care of her," Law replied, his stare intense as he covered her hand with his own. "Is there anything I should know to keep her safe?"

He squeezed Kisa’s hand to emphasise his question.

She twisted her palm to intertwine their fingers, and for a brief moment, her gaze flickered to the side. But before he could follow her gaze, she pulled him closer, their lips meeting.

Law froze in surprise.

"They're watching," she whispered against his lips.

His gut feeling was correct. Rage's crew had schemed something dangerous. Daria wanted to pass a message to him, but her words were silenced by one of the crows. Now, Kisa was under close watch to prevent her from sharing any information with him.

He pulled her in, draping an arm around her, so the collar of his coat shielded their faces from prying eyes. She straddled his lap, cupping his face in her hands. The kiss was hard and intense, their tongues entwined in a way he hadn't anticipated.

"Grab my ass," she whispered.

He did and his face burned with embarrassment. To a bystander it surely looked like they were about to get into each other's pants on the palace steps.

"Don't let her leave without bonding with Luffy. He might change her decision," she urged.

Someone cleared their throat.

Kisa jerked back and got off his lap. Standing before them was Marco the Phoenix, wearing a good natured smile on his face.

"If you need more time to say goodbye, I can wait a few more hours," Marco offered, his gaze shifting between Kisa and Law.

Law's face was burning.

Kisa chuckled softly, her lipstick slightly smudged. She reached out and brushed Law's lips with her thumb, wiping off the lipstick from his face.

"Tempting," she remarked with a crooked smile. She leaned in and pecked Law on the cheek. "Goodbye, Law."

She picked up her backpack and stood up, ready to leave.

Acting on impulse, Law grabbed her hand. "Where will you go?"

"My daughter is still small," she replied with a soft smile. "But kids grow so fast. Soon enough, she'll want to play and we'll need to buy her some toys.”

Toys? Was she heading to Dressrosa?

She slipped her fingers from Law's grip and walked over to Marco.

"Didn't you mention being married?" Marco asked, his easy smile remaining.

"I am," she confirmed with a smirk. "But I never said we were monogamous."

Marco laughed. "Alright then, let's go."

She put on her backpack and held onto Marco. His arms transformed into blazing blue wings, and they soared into the sky.

A sharp whistle pierced the air.

Law turned his gaze to the opposite side of the plaza.

The Raging Witches stood on the palace wall, their fists raised in a silent salute.

"Rage, they woke up!" Maya burst into the sitting room just moments after Zoro's consciousness appeared in the bond.

"Yeah, I can feel it," she smiled at the petite girl with the neon green bob.

She put down her cup and prepared to get up, bracing for the pain. A broad hand clasped her elbow and helped her up.

She gave Denjiro a blinding smile. "Why thank you, my good sir."

The samurai had bandages all over his body, but he seemed to be in better shape than her.

Rage had woken up the day before, screaming in pain. Daria pumped her with painkillers, but it didn't work. Then Rita and Maya brought people for her to drain. The pain subsided and she healed her wounds, but she still felt a dull ache when she moved. Daria said it would get better with time and Rage hoped she wasn't lying.

She tightened her coat around her shoulders and, with Denjiro's help, walked to the room where the Straw Hat crew was recuperating.

"We're not that filthy though," Zoro's voice reached her ears as Denjiro opened the door.

"That's because I took it upon myself to cleanse you," Hiyori answered with a wide smile. "Is that exciting for you? Hee hee."

Sanji fumed at the princess' words. "Moss head, we need to have a serious talk!!!!"

"You can have him later," Rage interjected with a smile, glancing from Sanji to Hiyori.

The princess stumbled over her words, and Sanji gagged, but Rage paid them no mind.

Her gaze was fixed on Zoro, and the world seemed to fade away. The distance between them vanished as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he pulled her close to his chest.

"We made it," she whispered with a smile.

"Yeah, we did," Zoro grinned sharply.

Resting her forehead against his, she breathed in his scent.

There were moments during the battle when she thought she would never see him or Law again. Either Kaido would win and kill them all, or she would die while taking down the yonko.

But they were alive. Kaido was dead, thanks to Luffy awakening his devil fruit.

He had come close to defeat when CP0 intervened, holding him down for Kaido to deliver a fatal blow. However, she managed to transfer her remaining energy to him before Kaido threw Luffy into the ocean. She was alive thanks to Reid administering CPR. Even though it resulted in broken ribs, it was a small price to pay for survival.

“-hot bath!” the words snapped her attention back to reality.

Zoro chuckled and tightened his embrace.

"Sorry," she sheepishly replied. "It's just that a hot bath sounds orgasmic right now."

Despite being layered in thick kimonos, she still felt a chill, while Zoro radiated warmth while half naked.

“Sorry, guys! There’s no mixed baths in the castle…” Yamato explained, visibly filthy and covered in grime. Rage could smell his stench from across the room.

"We'll manage," Rage laughed, giving one of Zoro's pecs a playful pat.

"Rage-san, there's a feast planned for later today!" Momonosuke declared. "But your crew declined the invitation!" The kid whined.

“How rude,” she replied with fake concern. "But truth be told, it's probably for the best. You wouldn't want their crude behavior defiling your palace."

“But Rage-san” the kid bemoaned. “They are throwing a party of their own!”

“Yeah, I’ve already asked Shinobu and Raizo to keep an eye on you, so you won’t go anywhere near that party.”

Momonosuke's face contorted in horror as he fell to his knees, bursting into sobs. "That's unfair!”

“Sorry kid, it’s at least ten years too early for you,” Rage patted him on the back. Then she grabbed his shoulder and squeezed until he yelped and looked at her. “And if you dare spoil the fun for everyone, I’ll trash your ass, are we clear?”

“You realize he’s a shogun now, don’t you?” the large fishman stated.

“I don’t care,” she patted Momonosuke’s cheek and turned to the fishaman. "You must be Jinbe, the First Son of the Sea."

He nodded in confirmation.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Rage replied, extending her arm towards the fishman. “I’m Rage D. Veshti, captain of The Raging Witches, a bounty hunters crew.”

“Jinbe is part of our crew now!” Chopper exclaimed, his excitement causing him to jump up and down. “Isn’t that so cool?!”

“So cool,” she laughed at the fluffy doctor.

As they settled into the hot rock bath, Rage couldn't help but let out a satisfied moan. "Wow, this feels amazing!"

Speed and Carrot frolicked around, while the young girls Toko and Tama laughed and admired Nami's physique. Hiyori and Kiku reminisced about the past, and Shinobu floated in the water, humming happily. The excited shouting from the men's bath filled the air.

The carefree atmosphere felt almost unreal.

The past three months had been tough. The Battle of Onigashima... She didn't want to think about it right now. Maybe one day she would reflect on it and find closure, but for now, she wanted to avoid dealing with it.

Kaido’s fall made it easier to reach her final goal. She couldn’t afford to fall apart yet. There was a job still to be done.

She had a few more days to recuperate and to say goodbye to Law and Zoro.

When she woke up, Law was at Tokage Port, overseeing repairs to The Polar Tang. She hesitated to reach out through their bond. She wasn't ready to face him.

He had been right. Awakening her devil fruit powers had been a mistake. The brief moments of power had taken a toll on her, and she deeply regretted it.

Law was already on his way to the Flower Capital, so she knew she had to gather her courage and face him.

"Rage," Nami threaded through the water and sat next to her. "What are your plans after the alliance is over?"

So nosy.

"I don't know yet," she replied, leaning her head on Nami's naked shoulder, hoping to make her uncomfortable.

"Will you come with us? Or do you want to join Torao?" the navigator seemed unfazed by the close contact.

Rage snorted and leaned her head back against the rock. "I have my own crew, thank you very much."

"But what about Zoro? You two are mated!" concern laced Nami's voice.

"Zoro will be fine," she answered with a dry tone.

At this point she wanted to walk away from the outrageous woman, but the water was too perfect to leave just yet.

"What about Luffy?" Nami persisted.

Would it look bad if she slapped the bitch?

"Do I pry into your life?" Rage snapped back at the navigator. "No! Because I don't care."

"But I care!" Nami fired back, matching Rage's energy. "I don't want my nakama to be heartbroken!"

"Just fuck off, will you?"

Hot water or not, she was getting out of the bath.

Nami grabbed her wrist. "You haven't even looked at Luffy once. How much longer will you pretend he doesn't exist?"

That was it.

She pushed through the pain in her limbs and broke free from the grip. Swiftly, she grabbed Nami by the throat.

"Would you prefer if I killed him instead?" She let the dissociation cut everything off so she could give Nami the coldest of stares. "I can do it now if you want."

"Unhand her," Kiku, Carrot and Shinobu loomed behind her back.

Not in the mood for a fight, she shoved Nami against the rock and stormed out of the bath.

Fucking bitch.

The dissociation faded quickly and anger washed over her. She didn't want to deal with anything the navigator had mentioned.

She didn't want to leave her mates. She wanted to stay with them.

But Wano presented an opportunity she couldn't pass on. She needed her mates to leave, so she could carry out the plan with her girls. If Law and Zoro found out what she had planned, they would do anything to stop her. She was sure of it.

They were her mates. The purpose of the bonds was to protect her. But if her plan succeeded, there was a chance she wouldn't survive.

But she had to do it.

Even though she thought she was done with missions and saving slaves, this was a chance to make a difference. It could change the world. Her own life was not as important as the lives of millions of people.

She wiped away her tears and draped the warm coat around her shoulders.

It seemed like the boys were finished with their bath too. She could hear Luffy demanding food.

She met them at the gate.

"What happened?" Zoro asked after one look at her face.

She couldn't reveal the reason for the emotional turmoil, so she decided to blame the navigator.

"Nami said some mean stuff."

Zoro threw her an unimpressed look. "Are you serious?"

"Don't cry, Rage," Sanji pushed the swordsman aside. "I'm sure Nami-chan didn't mean any of it."

She faked a sniff and let her eyes water.

Sanji's face fell and he seemed at a loss.

"Cut the crap," Zoro grabbed her hand and unceremoniously dragged her towards the palace.

"You're no fun," Rage deadpanned. She turned her head and called out to the cook. "Hey, Sanj! Will you come to the party? Veronica will be there. You could take her for a test ride."

She gave the cook a saucy wink.

Sanji froze, his brain seeming to short circuit. Then blood gushed from his nose.

"Sanji! Get it together!" Chopper scolded as he fussed over the cook.

Zoro yanked her hand, forcing her to face him. "Cut out the nonsense? He's not getting married to the doll!"

"Who said anything about marriage?" She asked, faking innocence. Then she smirked suggestively at the swordsman. "It's just sex. A whole night of kinky, no strings attached, uninhibited sex with a gorgeous woman."

More blood gushed from the cook's nose, and he sagged to the ground.

"With so much blood loss he won't be able to perform anyway," Jinbe commented with a stoic face.

Yamato burst out laughing while Brook let out a scandalised gasp.

Rage deliberately avoided glancing at Luffy.

She wiggled her brows at Zoro. “Do you honestly think he is dumb enough to marry into a West Blue mafia family?”

“Yeah,” Zoro deadpanned.

She burst into laughter, and Zoro pulled her along, grumbling under his breath.

The dining hall was empty and when the servant said it would take two hours to serve the dinner they all bounced from the castle. They raided and emptied the food stalls, explored every game stall, and had a great time. Yamato was especially excited since it was his first festival. He bounced around like a kid on a sugar rush. Brook played his guitar from a rooftop, flooding the streets with loud music. Zoro drank booze like he was a bottomless pit. At one point, Luffy jumped on top of the highest building and shouted his praise for everyone who had fought against The Beast Pirates.

It was the moment when The Heart Pirates and Kid Pirates arrived.

Eustass Kid yelled some nonsense about taking down Luffy and waved a wanted poster. Luffy didn't seem bothered by the threats at all. Instead, he wrapped his arm around Kid and pulled him up to the rooftop. Luffy's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw his own wanted poster. He quickly regained his composure and shouted "kampai" while fireworks lit up the sky with colourful lights.

“Rage,” Rita appeared beside her. “Nico Robin is studying the poneglyph. She's accompanied by the Tengu, who revealed himself as Kozuki Sukiyaki, Oden’s father. He confirmed that Pluton resides in Wano.”

“Take me to them,” Rage ordered.

Soon, Rage found herself standing alongside Rita in a hidden chamber beneath the palace, where a previously concealed staircase lay before them.

“Law’s down there,” Rage mused. “He would sense me so there’s no point in sneaking around. I’ll handle this.”

Rita nodded and vanished.

Rage hurried down the stairs, pushing through the pain as she tried to catch up with Law. He was already ahead, descending alongside Robin and Sukiyaki. The ache in her body grew more intense with each step she took.

“Where is this dim light coming from?” she heard Robin’s voice.

In the faint light at the end of the tunnel, she caught a glimpse of Law's back and the handle of Kikoku.

Law vanished in a nook where the light was emanating from.

She came to an abrupt stop right by Sukiyaki’s side.

“Hi,” she managed to say between panting breaths. “I heard there was a tour around the secret parts of the castle.”

She smiled cheekily at Sukiyaki.

“Hello, Rage-dono,” he greeted with a calm expression.

She glanced above Law’s and Robin’s heads and noticed buildings on the seafloor.

Sukiyaki proceeded to explain that Wano had been flooded eight hundred years ago. Enormous stone walls had formed around the island, and it had become submerged in rainwater. The people of Wano had then constructed new land above the water, which became the present-day Wano.

Reaching the end of the staircase, Sukiyaki opened a door, revealing a chamber containing a red poneglyph. It was the third Road Poneglyph with the directions to Laugh Tale engraved on its surface.

She held onto Law's hand and stood beside him in front of the red slab. She could sense that it held significant meaning for him.

During the time she spent on his ship, he revealed his full name: Trafalgar D. Water Law. He also shared what Rosinante had told him about the "Will of D." Apparently people carrying the initial D were the natural enemies of the gods. Celestial Dragons would scare their own children with tales of the D coming to devour them if they misbehaved.

Law was determined to reach Laugh Tale and uncover the truth behind his name.

While she had never paid much attention to the significance of the D, when Law disclosed Rosinante's words, everything started to make sense. She realised that she, too, was a natural enemy of the Celestial Dragons. And now, she was on the verge of fulfilling her destiny.

Law squeezed her hand, likely thinking that her intensity stemmed from their pursuit of the road poneglyph and its significance. In response, she squeezed his hand back. This was a profound moment, but she couldn't explain to him why. He would stand in her way.

Her girls knew the plan and she forbade them to talk about any of it, especially to Law or Zoro.

“We’re now deep down in the caves at the foot of Fuji,” Sukiyaki explained in a serious tone. “It is further down into the earth where the ancient weapon Pluton is said to rest!”

Yes! This was the information she was after!

“I have never seen it for myself and I cannot show it to you now,” Sukiyaki continued. “In order to retrieve Pluton the walls will need to be torn down! In other words, “opening the borders” means destroying the country’s natural defence and unleashing an ancient weapon onto the world!”

Robin had more questions for Sukiyaki, but it was already enough for Rage. She had all the information she needed.

A sudden surge of conqueror’s haki made her jaw drop in disbelief.

“Law,” she tugged his hand and caught his gaze. “Take me to the surface, please!”

He looked puzzled, but he didn’t ask any questions.

With a series of tugs he brought them both to the front of the palace.

Rage fought against nausea caused by the teleportation and let out a sharp whistle.

Rita appeared in front of her.

“Bring me Reid,” she ordered and the woman vanished.

“What’s going on?” Law finally asked, he didn’t let go of her hand.

“You felt that surge of power, didn’t you?” she asked and he nodded. “It was Shanks’ haki! He’s nearby! I have to see him!”

Law searched her face. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“I’ll be fine,” she replied with a smile. “But thank you for the offer.”

She leaned in and gave him a soft kiss.

It felt like an eternity had passed since she last kissed him. She wanted more.

She licked his lips and he parted them to deepen the kiss. The same burning desire rose from his side of the bond. She longed to feel more of him, to mould her body against his, to be connected with him in every possible way.

But it was not the right time. An opportunity like this might not happen again and she wanted to confront Shanks.

She pulled away from the kiss and locked eyes with Law. A smirk crawled on her lips.

“I’ve heard you and Kisa had a heated goodbye,” she teased.

A bright red blush appeared on Law’s face.

She couldn’t suppress the amused giggle.

“Yeah it was good, wasn’t it?” she continued teasing and Law’s face turned a deeper shade of red.

“It just happened,” he managed to choke out.

“Sure it did,” she ribbed him further. “You liked her from the start, didn’t you?”

“Can we just drop it? Nothing happened, and she’s gone,” Law covered his face with his hand.

“Oh I don’t know,” she laughed. “Your reaction is so amusing, I want to tease you a bit more.”

In an instant, Law pulled her close against his strong body. She could feel the bulge in his pants pressing against her belly.

Law’s lips brushed her ear. “Maybe it’s you who needs to be the one teased, hmm?”

The low, seductive tone of his voice made her weak in the knees.

“Hey, lovebirds,” Reid's voice startled them.

Law let her go and she stepped back.

Reid flashed a teasing smirk as she stood confidently on her silver board. “Where to?”

“Do you still have Benn’s vivre card?”

"Yeah," Reid replied, reaching into her belt's pouch and rummaging through its contents. She retrieved a piece of paper and presented it to Rage.

“Good. Follow the vivre card. Shanks is nearby,” Rage ordered, positioning herself behind Reid on the board.

“Grab onto my belt, I don’t want you falling off.”

“That’s the worst insult I’ve ever heard from you,” Rage retorted, but complied and held onto the belt nonetheless. She didn’t feel steady yet and she didn’t want to fall into the sea, because she was too weak to ride with Reid.

She waved at Law and they were off, jetting through the night's sky.

The Red Force came into view just a few minutes later.

A bullet whistled through the air, ricocheting off the board.

Rage tapped Reid's shoulder and pointed towards the crow’s nest, signalling to take down the shooter. Reid smirked as air rushed around them when the board accelerated.

There was always some rookie who didn't recognize Reid’s distinctive board.

The pirate in the crow’s nest wasn't prepared for the attack. The board hit him square in the chest, sending him hurtling out of the nest.

Reid made a tight turn and the board landed a split second before the pirate hit the deck.

Stepping off the board, Rage faced Shanks. "Hi."

Benn stood by his captain side, while the rest of the crew crowded the deck, forming a circle around them.

"As unexpected as it is, it's good to see you, Rage," Shanks welcomed her with a gentle smile, then he nodded to Reid in greeting.

"I'm sure you never expected to see me again," she replied, mirroring his smile.

It stung to stand amongst the men she once considered family, knowing they chose to abandon her.

Shanks' smile faded, but he didn't avert his eyes.

"When I made the choice to deny Sin's request, I was prepared to face the consequences."

He decided to let her rot in prison, knowing full well how Doflamingo treated his slaves. Shanks' didn't owe her anything, but she thought that she meant something to him, to all of them.

Her heart felt as if it were being pierced by a thousand needles. It would’ve been so easy to turn the pain off. But she chose to feel everything while she faced The Red Hair Pirates.

"I killed Sin's mate three months ago," she declared and watched as Shanks' and Benn's eyes widened in shock. "I won't be returning to Sin City. I fought Kaido and my girls took down a solid number of his crew. But there won't be any bounties for our heads. We are a licensed bounty hunting crew."

"That's unexpected," Shanks' replied with raised brows. "You were never one to bow down to the World Government."

"Funny how things can change, huh?" she remarked, a sardonic smile playing on her lips. "You know what's even funnier? For the past few weeks, I've been undercover, playing the role of King the Wildfire's bastard daughter. It turns out he knew my true identity all along and he didn't care. Kaido said that my mother slept around so much there's no telling who my real father could be. It might as well be King. And for the past few weeks he was a father to me. A strict, demanding father with a heavy hand, but a father nonetheless."She glanced around, her gaze sweeping across the faces of the pirates she once considered family. Then, she locked eyes with Shanks once more. "I chopped his head off."

Reid let out a chuckle, a low, ominous sound that carried over the deathly quiet deck.

"I've come to realise that I used the term 'family' too frivolously. I even called Usopp my brother," she snorted, her eyes finding Yasopp's gaze. "You should've seen his face when Annika told him that having a pirate for a father basically meant being an orphan."

Yasopp's face contorted with pain, and he deserved every bit of it. He had dropped all his responsibilities, abandoning his wife and child for a life of adventure. He hadn't even returned for his kid when his wife died. He was just a regular piece of shit.

Her gaze then shifted back to Shanks.

"I'm not in the best shape right now and my girls are still recovering from the battle. So we'll let you go," she stated, eliciting snorts and laughter from some of the Red Hair Pirates. "But I have one more important thing to do, and after that, I'll come after all the Emperors and their crews."

"We'll be ready for you," Shanks replied with a serious expression.

"No, you won't," she retorted, turning to Reid.

They were in the air seconds later, soaring towards Wano and leaving the Red Hair Pirates behind.

As the wind rushed past, it whisked away her tears, leaving only a trail of dampness on her cheeks.

She had loved them once. They had been her first family, her home. She had been born aboard the Red Force and called them ‘dads’ all her life.

She did what she had to do, but it still hurt. Her heart hurt.

She buried her face in Reid's neck. The gushing wind carried away her tears and muffled her sobs.

Gradually, the board began to slow down. Reid turned around, took Rage in her arms and guided her to sit on the board, cradling her in a warm embrace.

The scenery changed and they were floating above a moonlit forest. The board glided gently, circling a large tree full of blossoming flowers.

No words were exchanged. Reid offered a comforting presence, silently offering her shoulder for Rage to cry on. And in that moment, that was exactly what Rage needed.

If she started speaking, she wouldn't be able to stop the river of grief.

She had lost everything she had ever considered as family. It was never perfect, but she had found a place where she belonged, with people she could call family.

Her threat to Shanks was empty. There was no way for her to survive the plan. To even attempt to strike their target, she would have to use her devil fruit extensively, which alone could kill her. And even if she managed to survive until the final step, the entire crew would likely be wiped out in retaliation.

Either way, she knew she would soon be dead.

Grief paralyzed her, making it impossible to take a breath. She gasped for air, but her lungs refused to work.

"Come on, Rage," Reid grabbed her face and forced her to look up. Reid's eyes were like dark silver pools. "Breathe with me." She took a deep breath, then let out a loud exhale. And repeated it until Rage synced with her.

Once the panic subsided, Rage let the dissociation cut off all her emotions.

"That's better," Reid praised, releasing her grip. "What now?"

"I need a haircut," she tugged at the braid that concealed the state of her hair. "And some dancing shoes."

"Coming right up, captain," Reid grinned and steered the board towards the Flower Capital.

"Hold up," the girl spy with a green bob stopped them by raising her hand. "There's a dress code you have to follow."

"What's wrong with our clothes?" Luffy asked, tilting his head to the side.

"For starters, no robes," she pointed at their kimonos. "And no 'himbo' look."

She was referring to Law, who was wearing a yellow tank top, jeans, and a feathered cape.

"Come on, we want to see what's happening inside," Luffy and Yamato whined in unison.

"First, we need to change your clothes," the girl wrinkled her nose and then turned toward the dark doorway. "Come on, don't slack off. Our guests are waiting."

A tall, scruffy man in a suit emerged from the shadows.

"Kin'emon?! What are you doing here?"

"I'd rather not explain," the samurai replied with a deep scowl.

"No time for chit-chat, there's a line forming," the girls scolded, then pointed at Law. "Black pants, white shirt, and a vest."

Kin'emon placed a piece of paper on Law's head, and the surgeon's clothes transformed into form-fitting pants and a button-down shirt with rolled-up sleeves. The shirt was partially unbuttoned, showing off Law's tattoo, and the black vest emphasised his waist.

"White shirt, black pants, and a leather belt," Zoro's clothes changed in a puff of smoke.

"Leather pants and a mesh top."

Luffy's and Yamato's clothes transformed into nearly identical outfits. Yamato's mesh shirt had an opaque fabric stripe over his chest.

"Go on, don't stand there like some dolts. You're blocking the way," the girl scolded and turned to Nami and Sanji.

Zoro followed Law. The heavy beat of the music could be heard from outside, but when they stepped inside, the music was so loud that Zoro was sure he would have to yell for anyone to hear him.

The interior of the club was exactly as Rage described when they sailed with Bartolomeo.

Zoro felt as if they had been transported to one of Sin City's famed strip clubs.

The focal point was a well-lit circular stage featuring a polished and shimmering pole. Tables with chairs were strategically placed around the stage and throughout the main area. The walls were lined with booths, some of which were already occupied by patrons accompanied by Rage's crew. Waiters seamlessly weaved through the space, delivering drinks from the opulent bar lined with bar stools.

"You're right on time," someone shouted, and an arm snaked around Zoro's. He met Mira's amused gaze. The blaring music began to quiet down.

"Come on," Veronica appeared next to Law. She took the surgeon's hand and led him toward the stage. "She'll be right up.”

The doll was wearing an obscenely short black strapless dress and a pair of high heels. The dress barely covered her round ass. The ass that Law's gaze was glued to.

Zoro knew the surgeon had been attracted to the doll from the moment he saw her, just like with Rage's first mate. It only confirmed Zoro's suspicions that Law's taste in women was completely screwed. He liked them curvy, dark-haired, and crazy.

Mira tugged on his arm, leading him to the tables positioned right in front of the stage. She guided him to a seat next to Law, so they both were facing the stage.

"Heads up," Mira levelled her head with him and Law. "Daria gave Rage a cocktail of painkillers. It only enhanced her mood. If you're not into fucking in front of an audience then step away and let someone else do her."

With a pat on their shoulders she was gone.

Luffy dropped into the chair beside him, and the rest of their group followed suit.

Zoro's eyebrow shot up at the sight of Nami's outfit. Her skin-tight latex pants had a zipper that ran from her bellybutton, down between her legs, and up her ass. The stupid cook was frotting at the mouth.

"What's this?" Yamato leaned over a bowl sitting in the middle of the table.

The bowl was filled to the brim with small foil packets.

"Condoms, lube and dental dams," Veronica explained with a pleasant smile. "Provided for everyone to safely enjoy the night."

She winked at Yamato.

She plopped next to the cook and offered him a sultry smile. "I hope we can get to better know each other."

"Yes, Veronica!" Sanji gushed. "Whatever you want to know, I'm an open book! I want to know everything about you too!"

Her expression transformed into a foxy smile. "That's wonderful, darling. However, I was thinking of something more suitable for the current environment," she twirled her finger in the air. "Look around."

Zoro turned in his chair to survey the club's main floor. At the table behind them, people were taking shots from a naked woman lying on the table. Nearby, a group of people laughed loudly and drank, while there was a person under the table whose head was bobbing vigorously.

A few tables away, a scantily clad woman was dancing on top of a table. She raised her foot and placed her toes in the gaping mouth of one of the men seated there. She poured alcohol over her tight and the liquid trickled down her tan leg into the man's mouth.

The entire club seemed immersed in various forms of sexual activity, ranging from groping and fondling to a full-blown orgy taking place in a corner booth.

"This is…interesting," Yamato stated with wide eyes. "Isn't that boss Cho?"

Zoro followed his line of sight to the largest booth. There, he spotted a tall woman with opulent hair, whom he recognized as one of the yakuza bosses. She was reclining comfortably in her lace corset. In front of her, a feminine looking guy was getting railed by a big muscular man.

"Yes, that's Cho. She's a marvel," Veronica confirmed. "This establishment is owned by the Kyoshiro family. Denjiro was intrigued by the prospects of expanding his business. Apparently, every idea Rage provided him with turned out to be a huge success. He wanted to learn more about Sin City."

"So you suggested he should open a sex club?" Nami raised an eyebrow and took a sip of her pink and yellow drink that had been placed before her by the waiter a few moments earlier.

"Actually, we gave him a crash course in managing a sex club," Veronica said, reaching for her own drink. "It's still in its early stages, unrefined but promising. What do you think, darling?"

She lightly brushed her manicured fingers against Sanji's forearm.

A whole body shiver went through the cook and his eyes turned into hearts.

The cook was acting like an idiot. He poured all his nonsense over the doll.

"Are you always like this, or is this a reaction to a new situation?" the doll finally asked, her lips pressed into a straight line and her brows furrowed.

"He's more excited than usual, but it's his default reaction to women," Nami rolled her eyes.

"I see," Veronica patted the cook's hand and stood up. "I don't think this will work between us. I prefer mature men. Have a great night."

She sauntered away without another glance at the cook.

Sanji turned to stone.

Zoro found himself gaining a newfound respect for Veronica based on how she handled the cook's behaviour.

"I feel sorry for you," Zoro laughed. "She had her legs open for you, all you had to do was act half decently, shitty cook."

"You fucking moss he-"

Suddenly, the music boomed and the lights flared to life. The curtain flew open and Rage walked on the stage.

Zoro's jaw dropped.

She had short hair on the sides of her head, and the rest was cut to half its previous length, falling in loose waves on her shoulders. Her warm, brown skin was flawless and glistened in the intense light, without any visible scars or bruises.

And there was a lot of skin on display since she barely had any clothes on.

She was wearing a simple black bra and thong set over a leather garter belt, paired with platform shoes that made her legs appear long and slender.

She sauntered to the pole, moving to the rhythm of the most obscene song Zoro had ever heard.

With a cunning smile she spun around the pole.

Link

Zoro had seen her dance many times on Polar Tang. On a few occasions, she had performed solely for him and it resulted in manic sex on the gym's floor or against the nearest available flat surface.

However, this time was different.

The clothes, the music, the ambiance of the club, the energy buzzing in the bond transformed the experience into something entirely new.

He watched her climb the pole, flip and slide, bend her body and splay her legs while she rotated on the pole. He couldn't tear his gaze away from her.

If she asked he would fuck her on that stage in front of all the people gathered in the club. In front of Law and Luffy.

The music faded out, blending into another song. This one was slow and sensual.

Link

Rage moved to the rhythm, slowly undulating her body. The lights changed, accentuating her muscular, yet undeniably feminine body.

She came a long way in such a short time. Just a few months ago, she had been emaciated, barely able to board the Sunny on her own. With the help of her devil fruit powers, she gradually regained her strength. However, what truly impressed him was when she trained meticulously every day to get stronger and faster.

Now, she proudly displayed her progress for all to see. She was beautiful, fierce, and so fucking seductive.

He couldn't wait to claim her on that stage, making it known to everyone that she belonged to him.

Right on cue, her gaze locked with his. She smiled that small, lustful smile that made him crazy. The bond throbbed with power and desire. She wanted to be watched, to be fucked.

Her pupils were blown wide and Zoro realised she was high as a kite.

It didn't matter. After the cookies incident on Polar Tang, they had a talk, and she was very firm that if she was drunk or high, she still wanted them to fuck her, regardless of whether they were sober or not.

Zoro knew she was overwhelmed, meeting Shanks was the final straw that tipped her into this mindles state when all she wanted was to be fucked into oblivion. It was her way of coping with stress. She was a grown woman and he didn’t question whether or not her actions were healthy. He was going to comply with her wishes.

She stretched out her arm and beckoned him with her finger.

He was out of his seat without a second thought.

In that moment screams and crashes drowned out the music. The club turned into chaos. The women from Rage's crew, the quiet ones, started a fight with a group of half-naked men. The music abruptly stopped, and people hurriedly ran towards the exits. Zoro looked around, trying to understand what was happening.

The men were subdued and dragged to the centre of the club, their heads were pushed against the edge of the scene.

"Please," one of the half-naked Wano girls dropped to her knees in front of Karla, the woman who collected body parts as trophies. "Please, let him go, I beg of you."

The girl's hair was in disarray and her make up was smeared. Her naked breasts were covered in cigarette burns and cum.

Several other girls, equally dishevelled and bearing various marks on their bodies, stepped forward, pleading for the men to be released.

"What the fuck is happening?" Furious Mira pushed her way through the crowd, giving her crewmates a thunderous glare.

"They are not here willingly," Karla replied, pointing to the wailing girls.

"This was supposed to be a normal party, not a lure!" Mira yelled, clenching her fists.

Karla responded with a deadly glare. She pulled up the man she was holding. Blood was dripping from his nose and split cheek. The girl with cigarette burns scuttled on her knees, desperately clutching onto Karla's legs.

"Please, have mercy, let him go," she wailed, tears and snot mixing on her face.

"Tell me, why should I?" Karla drew a knife from her belt and pointed it at the man's eye.

"Please spare him," the girl continued to wail. "My baby! His family will hurt my baby if something happens to him! Please let him go!"

"You," Karla pointed to another girl who was trying to fight the woman restraining another man. The girl bore a massive burn scar across her right shoulder and arm, as well as numerous thin scars scattered across her body. Zoro knew those were left by a blade.

"Leave him alone!" the girls screamed, clawing at the dark-skinned woman.

A quick punch knocked her to the floor.

Another woman stepped forward, gripping the girl tightly and forcing her arms behind her back.

"Tell me, why should we release him?" Karla demanded, her voice was eerily calm.

The girl spat out blood and met Karla's gaze with wild, glassy eyes.

"I love him! Let him go! He's all I have! I'm so ugly that no one else would ever want me!" She trashed in the hold, trying to break free.

"Who made you ugly? Who gave you the scars?" Karla's voice held a cold edge.

The girl stopped moving, her glassy eyes glided over the scene without comprehension.

"He did, didn't he?" the dark-skinned woman pulled upright the man she was restraining.

"I was bad, a disgrace," the girl squeaked out, freezing in place. "I deserved to be punished."

A surge of icy fury coursed through Zoro's veins. The girl had been tortured and manipulated to the point where she believed she deserved every ounce of pain inflicted upon her. What vile things had she endured behind closed doors?

He looked around the club, scrutinised all the men that were held down, beaten bloody. He knew more was coming and they wouldn't leave the club in one piece or even alive. They deserved everything that the Raging Witches would do to them.

"You will pay for this!" one of the men growled, his eyes filled with anger. "Every single one of you will be executed for this!"

His expression turned to shock as a knife plunged into his abdomen. The wild redhead who had previously attacked Sanji leaped towards the man, gripping the knife and pulling it out with a deranged grin.

"Karla," Mira growled, several of the other women were standing by her side. "This wasn't what we agreed on."

"I don't care," Karla retorted. "Rage doesn't seem to object."

Zoro's brows furrowed as his gaze landed on Rage. She was standing by the pole, looking down on the bloody scene. Her eyes were empty and so was the bond.

This wasn't like the usual dissociation, this was a complete shutdown.

Luffy climbed onto the scene and approached Rage. Gently, he took her hand and turned her to face him. In the platform shoes she was a lot taller than him, causing him to tilt his head upwards to meet her gaze.

"Come on," Luffy took a step back, pulling her along. "Let's leave this place."

To Zoro's surprise, Rage followed, allowing Luffy to lift her down from the stage, holding her by the waist. However, her movements were mechanical, as if she would have followed anyone willing to take her away. The bond remained empty.

A firm grip on his shoulder made him turn around, and there stood Law, his gaze fixed on Luffy and Rage making their way to the exit. "Go with them. Make sure she's alright. I'll stay here."

The icy stillness in the bond matched Law’s cold stare when his gaze switched from Zoro to the people in front of them.

Zoro wasn't sure if Law wanted to stay to help Mira get the crew in check or to join Karla in cutting up the bastards.

Zoro nodded in acknowledgment and turned towards the door, catching sight of Nami's vibrant orange hair.

She stood frozen, wide-eyed, her face a mix of disgust and horror as she observed the scene. She didn't see Zoro walking by and he wouldn't have left her there in that state, but Sanji was right by her side. The cook took a drag of his cigarette, as he locked eyes with Zoro. The hard stare assured Zoro that Sanji would do anything to keep Nami safe.

As Zoro made his way towards the door, he ran into Kin'emon. Pushing the samurai outside, he closed the door behind them. "There's nothing more to see here, Kin'emon. Go back to the palace."

"This is not right," the samurai’s expression grew grim.

"You're the shogun's vassal, think carefully what would happen if you choose to defend the men inside. What message would it send to the people of Wano? Would you be any different from Orochi or Kaido?"

"There should be a trial," Kin'emon protested. "They should be executed as a warning that such atrocities will not be tolerated."

"Listen to me," Zoro snapped. "You weren't here. Go back to the palace. What comes next is none of your concern or the shogun's. Rage will handle her crew, and they'll be out of your hair soon. If you want a trial to set an example, I'm sure she can provide you with plenty more abusers than the handful of shitbags inside."

"Listen to him, Kin'emon," Yamato chimed in, appearing beside them. "We weren't here. Let's join the others at the palace. We had a great time with Luffy during the festival, and let's leave it at that."

"One last thing before you go," Rita's quiet voice resonated in the night. She stood in the middle of the street, cradling a sleeping child in her arms. She approached them and positioned the child so that Kin'emon could have a look.

The kid could be no more than two years old, his head seemed to be too big compared to the rest of his thin body. Deep dark circles surrounded his swollen eyes, similar to how

Usopp's eyes looked, after he took a serious hit to the head during a fight.

"This child belongs to one of the girls inside," Rita explained. "This is the fate of children born into slavery. Remember this face, and may it inspire changes in the laws of this country."

Was this what Rage dealt with? How many children has she seen in such a state? How many women like the ones inside had she dragged away from the clutches of their abusers?

Zoro turned on his heel and followed the pull of the bond.

It didn't take long for him to catch up to them. Luffy held Rage's hand, guiding her through the streets of the Flower Capital. Both of them were dressed in kimonos and sandals, thanks to Kin'emon’s quick thinking to change their club attire into something more suitable for public appearance.

Rage was still shut down, following Luffy mindlessly. Zoro trailed a short distance behind.

Despite her state, the swordsman believed that Rage had some level of awareness of her surroundings and the people she was with. Her choice to follow Luffy sparked hope in Zoro that her hostility towards his captain could be resolved. Maybe this was an opportunity for their relationship to improve if Luffy didn't fumble the situation.

At the palace, Rage stopped and let go of Luffy's hand. Zoro stood just a few steps behind her, waiting for her reaction. The bond stirred slightly.

"Do you know what split children are?" her voice was almost unrecognisable, hollow and grave.

Luffy turned to her and stared without a word.

"It's what they do to make children easy to brainwash. They electrocute the foetus in the mother’s womb. If the baby is breached it's raped while it's still partially in the birth canal. The pain and stress causes irreversible damage to the child's nervous system, making them ideal slaves, easy to manipulate and program with anything their owner wants."

It felt like a punch to the gut. He was feeling sick and angry at the same time. Why did people commit such atrocities?

"Rage," Luffy's voice cracked. "Please, look at me."

"I'm looking at you."

"Do you? Be here with us. Leave the memories behind. Just for tonight. Be with us."

Was it a good idea to bring her out of her numbness? Were they ready to face the pain and sorrow she carried? Could they truly comfort someone so deeply wounded?

Zoro stepped forward and took her hand. It felt freezing cold.

"What do you need?" he asked.

She turned her empty eyes towards him. He didn't like that look on her.

"I want a break from everything," she hoarsely replied.

"You're safe with us, we won't let anyone bother you," he reassured her, gently squeezing her hand. "Do you want to go to sleep?"

"Yes."

"Okay.”

They managed to find her room without any help, which was a miracle. Did Luffy memorise where her room was?

The futon on the floor was only big enough for one person, but there were three thick covers.

Luffy untied the belt of Rage’s kimono and removed her clothes, leaving the last layer on.

She stood there shivering, as if she was cold.

Zoro undressed himself and pulled her down onto the bed. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing his front against her back.

Luffy slipped under the covers and embraced both Rage and Zoro, resting his forehead against Rage's.

She continued to shiver, her body tense and her skin cold.

"It's okay," Luffy silently reassured her. "You're going to be okay."

"Nothing is okay," she responded in that hollow voice. "It's been fucked up for too long."

"Give yourself a break," Luffy insisted. "Right now, you can let go. Try to relax, you're shaking."

"I'm cold."

"We'll warm you up," Luffy promised.

His hand rubbed her side as their legs tangled together. Somehow, Zoro's leg ended up trapped between theirs.

Rage was his mate, but in that moment, he felt like a third wheel. He didn't know how to comfort her the way Luffy did. Until now, he had always been the one to tell her to snap out of her wallowing. Soft care wasn't his specialty.

Luffy's hands caressed Rage, spreading warmth across her skin. He nuzzled her forehead and cheeks with silent affection. At some point, he guided Zoro's hand to trace over her skin, mirroring his own actions. It was slow, tender, and gentle.

Zoro closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair, searching for her scent beneath the heavy perfume she wore.

He allowed Luffy to guide his hand and let the sensations of the bond flow freely.

Rage's emptiness slowly melted away, replaced by warmth and heartache. The bond overflowed with so much yearning, it was suffocating.

A sound must’ve escaped him, because Luffy's fingers found their way into his hair, stroking him comfortingly.

He could handle it. He had taken all of Luffy's pain on Thriller Bark, so he could take on Rage's pain too.

Luffy held the back of his head, his fingers gently pressing into his scalp.

Beside him, Rage released a silent sigh of relief.

The intense ache in the bond receded to a dull throb.

Zoro lifted his head to look over Rage's shoulder.

They were kissing. It was a slow, tender kiss. Luffy had his eyes closed, and his face was relaxed.

It didn't feel or look sexual. There was no arousal in the bond. It was purely for comfort.

He wanted to be a part of it.

He placed a kiss on her shoulder, then trailed up her neck, leaving soft kisses along the rim of her earlobe before pressing his lips to her temple.

She sighed again.

Vulnerability appeared in the bond, along with trembling trust.

Zoro loosened his hold and gently guided her to lie on her back.

Her eyes no longer looked empty; instead, they held a helpless vulnerability.

He cupped her cheek and leaned down to press a reassuring kiss on her lips.

Luffy's hand glided along his spine, and then a set of lips pressed a kiss on his shoulder blade. Meanwhile, his other hand slipped into Rage's hair.

Where was this tenderness coming from? Luffy had never treated him like this before. They fucked and that was it. This was how he treated Nami—it was what she taught him.

But none of that mattered. It felt good, and finally, Rage relaxed into their touches.

She traced her palm along Zoro’s side, her cold fingers seeping warmth from his skin.

He didn't care; he would give all his warmth just to make her feel better.

He released her lips and leaned back to look into her eyes. The distressed yellow of her irises had almost faded, replaced by a soft brown colour.

She cradled his face in her palms, and the bond swelled with affection.

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

This was love—she didn't need to say it; it was all in the bond.

He brushed her hair away from her face and placed his palm on her cheek.

He had never experienced such a profound connection with another person. It left him feeling dazed.

Every emotion she felt, she felt it deeply—like the love that radiated from her side of the bond.

Zoro had loved her for far longer than she had loved him. He loved Law and Luffy, but his feelings were far less intense compared to what he sensed from Rage.

No wonder she shut down her emotions so often. With the ability to feel so deeply, she must have experienced pain just as intensely as everything else.

But not with him. In that moment, he wanted her to envelop him in the warm love that filled the bond to the brim.

This night belonged to them.

The corners of her mouth lifted in a gentle, grateful smile.

She turned her head and looked past Zoro.

He followed her gaze and found Luffy sitting beside them, wearing a contented smile.

Zoro reached out and pulled his captain into a one-armed hug.

Luffy chuckled softly and returned the embrace. He smelled of seabreeze and Rage's perfume.

Rage's arms encircled them, pulling them down to lie partly on top of her.

She caressed the back of Zoro's head and nuzzled against Luffy's temple. Her eyes fell shut, and contentment flowed through the bond.

Zoro relaxed on the futon, drawing Rage and Luffy closer. Rage rested her head on his bicep, while Luffy settled his head on Zoro's outstretched arm, so close to Rage that his lips brushed against her cheek.

They became a tangle of limbs, lying on a single futon and cocooned under thick covers.

A quiet sigh escaped from Rage's lips, and the sensations from the bond slowly faded into a gentle lull of sleep.

Zoro held Luffy's gaze over sleeping Rage. He squeezed the younger man's waist in silent gratitude.

Thanks to Luffy, Rage had broken free from the numbness and despair. Zoro knew he couldn't have managed it on his own.

Luffy squeezed Zoro's arm in return and a wide, sleepy smile appeared on his face.

His eyes drifted shut, and he fell asleep within seconds.

Zoro laid awake gazing at the two dark-haired people in his arms.

He had sex with Rage so many times he lost count, but he never felt this intimate with her. She had never behaved like this during sex, it was always about physical pleasure, never about emotions. The bond helped during sex, intensified the sensations and made it easier to know when something felt good for her. But she never got emotional during or after sex. She would always be content, smile, or tease him into another round.

This situation allowed him a glimpse into a hidden part of Rage that she didn't show to anyone. Zoro wanted to know that part of her—the good, the ugly, the vulnerable, and everything in between

And Luffy seemed to be the key to unlocking the part he knew the least.

He gently squeezed Luffy's side, causing the captain to stir and nuzzle his face into Rage's neck. In her sleep, she leaned her head and pressed her cheek against Luffy's hair.

With a smile on his face, Zoro drifted off to sleep, hoping for more moments like this in the future.

A forceful tug on his legs and a loud crash jolted him awake. Startled, he sat up straight and surveyed his surroundings.

The sun was barely up, casting a soft, dim light into the room.

Rage sat at the foot of the futon, untangling her foot from one of the comforters.

Did she just fall because her foot got caught? Rage was many things, but clumsiness was not one of them.

"Why are you up so early?" Luffy's voice sounded raspy from sleep.

"I'm always up early," she replied, getting up without sparing them a glance.

She opened a sliding door to a built- in closet and pulled out some clothes. The white robe slid to the floor and revealed her naked backside.

Zoro’s cock stirred at the sight of her fabulous ass. Memories of her dancing the previous night rushed his mind and all his blood went south.

"Later," Rage firmly stated, slipping into a pair of black underwear resembling boxers. "I have to sort out my crew first."

"I'll come with you," Zoro replied, reaching for his discarded kimono.

"Suit yourself," she absentmindedly replied.

Rage put on black leggings, thick socks, an undershirt, and a long-sleeved shirt. Over that, she donned the tactical gear her crew wore when they arrived in Wano—black pants with a leather belt, textile harnesses on both thighs carrying knives, a zip-up thick shirt with a high collar and another knife harness, and a heavy jacket with numerous pockets that she zipped up to her chin. Completing her attire, she put on her boots.

From one of the pockets, she pulled out a pack of gum, took a piece, and placed it in her mouth. She offered one to Zoro, which he took automatically without much thought.

She looked impressive in her outfit.

"What are you doing?" she asked, turning to Luffy.

He stood dressed in his kimono, ready to go out. "I'm going with you," he replied with a toothy smile.

"Why?" She looked at him with a flat expression.

"I've made a promise to Mira."

She stared at him for a moment, then shrugged. She tossed him a piece of gum and walked out the door.

The palace was still quiet, but the city streets were beginning to stir. He and Luffy were dressed in kimonos, blending in with the locals. However, Rage's clothes stood out and people were stopping to stare at her.

She ignored everyone until they reached the club.

"Good morning, Yosuke," she greeted a man leaning against the entrance wall.

"Good morning, Reiju-san," the man straightened up, his face turning pale.

"Rita," Rage turned her gaze towards the door, and the spy woman emerged from the shadows. "Is everyone here?"

The older woman nodded.

"Are they done?"

"Yes. Your mate helped keep things reasonable. Seven women and a child are kept inside for the time being."

"Yosuke, please inform Denjiro to take in the women that are currently in the building. Send someone over to escort them to a safe location."

The man nervously bowed and hurried away without a word or a glance.

Rage pushed open the door and stepped inside the building.

The club was empty and organised. The floors had been freshly mopped, and all the chairs were stacked on the tables.

Rage placed her fingers to her lips and let out a loud whistle.

A moment later people filed into the room from every available entrance.

To Zoro's surprise, Nami walked in, followed by Law and Sanji. They all looked rough around the edges as if they didn't sleep a wink all night. Nami held the child that Rita had brought during the night.

Law approached them, but instead of joining them, he took a seat on a barstool.

"Having fun meddling with my crew?" Rage asked him.

"You meddled with mine," he deadpanned.

She walked towards Nami and gave Law a pat on the shoulder as she passed him. Then she reached out and gently brushed the child's hair.

"Do you still think I fit with your crew?" she asked, looking at Nami.

"No," the navigator answered without hesitation.

"Told you," Rage turned to face her crew. "I met with the Red Hair crew last night. I informed them that they are no longer considered family and that we will be going after them soon."

Agitated whispers carried around the room. Some of the girls looked worried, while others smiled widely.

"So, I needed that night to decompress and instead you made it all about yourselves," she looked directly at Karla. "You know what happens when someone yucks my yum."

"You need to regain your strength, Rage," the stoic woman replied.

"I'll do what I want, when I want, and you will dance when I tell you to. No questions asked," her tone was calm, as if she was stating facts. "Sin City's rules no longer apply. You made a decision on that beach to follow me. If any of you have second thoughts, you can challenge me for the captain's title or leave."

"You talk big, while you barely have the strength to back it up," one of the quiet girls spoke up.

"Let's find out," Rage didn't sound bothered. In the bond she remained calm and collected. "Training in fifteen. Full gear, two clicks south-west from the south gate. Last one there gets paired with Kira. Reid's my ride."

"Hey, why do we all have to go when we didn't do shit?" The pink-haired mechanic objected loudly.

"Yeah," the medic chimed in, her face turning red. "I was up all night patching up the bitches in the back and the spawn here. I want to catch some sleep, not deal with your bullshit."

Rage turned to Sanji and reached into his jacket, pulling out his cigarettes. She took one and placed it between her lips. She brought up the lighter and lit the cigarette. After a long drag, she put the lighter into the pack and gave it back to Sanji.

She pulled the cigarette away from her lips and slowly blew out the smoke towards the ceiling. "Fourteen minutes."

Some of the crew watched her with wide eyes.

"Fucking Karla! You stupid cunt! I'm gonna euthanize you the first chance I get!" The medic screamed at the top of her lungs while running to the door with the rest of the crew.

The club emptied within seconds, leaving behind only the echoing sounds of the crew's stomping and yelling.

"I'll be done with them by sunset," Rage slid onto a barstool next to Law. She took another slow drag of the cigarette and blew the smoke away from Law. Then she turned to the surgeon with a small smile. "How about the three of us go on a date in the evening?"

Zoro blinked. Did he hear her right? A date?

She took another drag and winked at Zoro.

He didn't like seeing her smoke. It didn't suit her.

"Are you fucking serious?" Nami fumed. She handed the kid to Sanji and stomped towards Rage. "You're making plans for a date while there are literal body parts behind the house and tortured women sleeping in the back?"

"Denjiro's people will be here soon to take the girls away. The family will take care of them. I'll have to leave in a minute, so I'd appreciate it if you could babysit until they arrive."

"You act like you have everything under control, but you weren't here last night! You were fucking my nakama while your crew butchered those men!"

Rage snorted and took the final drag of the cigarette. "I'm sure you enjoyed watching them die."

A loud slap reverberated from the walls as Nami's hand connected with Rage's face.

Rage didn't budge, she stayed still and stared at the redhead. Her eyes shifted to the toxic yellow as the bond turned icy.

"Fucking hell! Step away from her, you idiot!" Reid yanked Nami back and stood between her and Rage. "I'm ready, let's just go," she pleaded, removing her necklace shaped like a small surfboard.

Why was she so frantic? It didn't feel like Rage would strike Nami back.

"You have been a thief for a pirate crew since you were ten, right?" Rage's gaze was glued to Nami's face. "You stole treasure to buy back your village from the fishman. I imagine there were times when you found yourself in a tight spot. Unable to obtain anything significant, you became desperate. Maybe you met someone who gave you the idea, or you saw some other kid doing it. You picked out your target, made contact and he offered to take you home. All you had to do was lay there until he was done, then cry for him to let you sleep in his house because you had nowhere else to go. Then, in the middle of the night, you cleaned out his safe and went on your way."

What was she talking about? Why did she have to say something like that to Nami? But one look at his nakama made his heart sink.

Nami’s horrified face went pale and her eyes turned glassy.

"You see, that's why I said you enjoyed last night. Because those scumbags were just like the ones you robbed. It's good to see that trash like them get the punishment they deserve. It's cathartic." Rage put out the cigarette in the ashtray on the bar and stood up. "But you seem to think you're better than this, that you should condemn me and my girls for what we do and how we do it. I don't appreciate the hypocrisy. Don't ever try to fuck with me again, because you won't win."

She nodded to Reid, and together they walked towards the exit. Just before opening the door, Rage turned to face Nami once again.

"Don't tear into Zoro. It was Usopp who told me everything about your merry crew. He tends to overshare after ten shots of tequila."

With those words, she left the bar.

The situation was a fucking mess.

"I'm off. See you tonight," unceremoniously Law strode out the door.

Nami kept her head bowed, her fists tightly clenched. The bar fell into silence, everyone was rooted in their spots.

Zoro felt torn. Nami was his nakama, but Rage was his mate.

Finally, Luffy stepped forward and spoke gently, "Can I touch you?"

Nami replied with a choked-up voice, "Why would you want to do that? She told the truth, and you should be disgusted."

"You're not disgusting," Luffy stated firmly. "I regret letting Arlog live. I should've killed him for everything he did to you."

Tears rolled down Nami’s cheeks as a strangled sob escaped her. "I almost forgot about all of that. I wanted to forget it so bad. It got easier when I was with all of you," she reached out and grasped Luffy's hand. "She brings out all the memories just by being who she is and doing what she does. This was the first time she did it on purpose, but I still hate everything about her and her crew. I don't want to be like them, bitter and hateful. I want to forget and move on."

Nami’s words struck a chord. "Rage tried that too, it didn't work for her,” Zoro spoke up.

The navigator raised her head, her eyes were red and puffy. She brushed away the tears with the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry, I'll get a grip and stay out of her way until we set sail. This issue won't be a problem because she's not coming with us."

"That's not your decision to make," Zoro gruffly objected.

"No, it's hers. I'm sorry Luffy, I know you've made a promise, but she has no intentions of joining us."

#one piece #roronoa zoro #trafalgar law #one piece fanfic #smut #zolu #lawzoro #shanks #red haired shanks #akagami no shanks #law x reader #zoro x law #zoro roronoa x reader #nami #sanji #luffy #straw hat luffy

24 notes · View notes

haikyu-after-dark · 1 year

Text

Korai Hoshiumi x Chubby, Tall Fem! Reader (she/her pronouns)

Warnings: angst, swearing, sad bby Yn, self doubt, self hate, Korai having some major regret and being low key toxic and possessive but this is 🙌🏻 fiction 🙌🏻eventual fluff

WC: 3.7 K

AN: Surprise Im posting this early :D is this the climax? Is this the end of the pain? The world may never know 😌 also I recounted and this story is only 16 chapters instead of 17 :(

Broken Pipes Masterlist

9AM, Saturday Morning

You shouldn’t have been surprised to have woken up alone but you were, the last words Korai spoke to you ringing excessively in your ears as you tried not to cry for the 100th time in the past 8 hours.

I can’t do this YN-

Don’t wait up.

The weight of his words rang heavy as you made your way to the bathroom, pulling our your skincare products. Looking up, you saw the reflection of a young, broken women who was heavily at risk for under eye bags if she didn’t get her shit together. Everywhere your eyes glazed in the bathroom, you saw reminders of Korai. The entire hotel smelled of him, his clothes and lack of self care product’s haphazardly left out. Picking up your toothbrush, you touched it to your lips before feeling the stinging of new tears forming. Everything hurt, everything felt wrong.

Picking up your items, you texted Kai that you were going to pass on coffee until later, opting to spend the morning packing instead. You’d text her the name of your new hotel and room number later. On a whim last night, during a major blubber fest, you scoured the internet for available hotel rooms. You found one located on the opposite side of the city that was relatively affordable yet still extremely nice. You booked it until Tuesday, figuring that it would give you a few extra days to figure out your next move. You couldn’t possibly stay here anymore, not with what transpired last night.

This was your worst fears coming to fruition, a cumulation of all the nasty thoughts you’d been having over the past several days. Thinking about it, it was really all the thoughts you’d had over the past few months of knowing Korai and feeling like there was no way you’d ever be good enough for him. You saw what you did to him, how you’d interrupted his life with your bullshit. All the words Michael had spoken to you in the past had come back, smacking you right in the face. It was all true, he spoke the truth and you were just too dumb to realize it.

The fantasy of being with Korai, of your situation had clouded your feelings for the spiker. Maybe you’d misinterpreted your entire relationship with him and all he really wanted was to get laid? Even thinking those words made you cringe, finding it extremely had to believe that someone like Korai would behave that way. You packed up your skincare, putting the bag into the duffle with all your clothes. You didn’t have much to move, remembering the horrific fact that you were still, indeed, homeless as well as without anything of stability holding you to the area. Your apartment was it for you, the peaceful retreat away from your hectic life. Maybe it was time you thought about furthering your modeling career? While it’s definitely not what you wanted, what else did you have? You had very few friends and family, no real need to stay in Japan. You could continue to grow your wealth, maybe even retire by the time you were thirty.

But then what???

You sighed as you thought back to the fantasy life you’d dreamed of with Korai. Dating, having fun, getting married and even having kids. It all seemed like a fictional novel you’d written as your dream life scenario at this point.

You sat at the table, taking out your notebook and beginning to write. You needed to leave something for Korai, something telling him that you were ok and that you’d decided it was time to get out of his hair. The note would serve as a final farewell, the closure to a chapter you’d never forget.

Dear Korai,

I just wanted to thank you for all you’ve done for me the last few days. I truly appreciate everything and you are really an amazing person. I’ve decided that it’s best if I find a new place to stay, someplace away from here. I’ve caused you enough trouble as is and I don’t want to cause you anymore. The last few days have been some of the best I’ve had in literal years and I don’t think I’ll truly ever be able to pay you back for all the joy you’ve brought me. You made me feel good again, whole again.

Thank you for everything and good luck at your game ♥️

A tear drop fell on the letter as you set it aside, putting your room key next to it. Standing up, you wiped your teary eyes and took a deep breath. Today was a new start, a moving on. You grabbed your bags, heading to the door before turning around one last time. The memories played in your mind like an animated movie, from the first day you realized you’d be bed-sharing to your first kiss. Everything seemed so real as you closed the door on one of the happiest times of your life.

Korai sighed as he made his way back to the hotel. He had cooled down, spending the night at the gym with his team and crashing at Kageyama’s to gather his thoughts. He hated leaving you but he couldn’t take it anymore, he could no longer deal with that fucking idiot you called a manager.

“There has to be something there,” Heiwajima said shaking his head, “that man treats YN like his cash cow. He must be making millions off of her.”

Korai gritted his teeth as he spiked the ball again, this time so hard this it flew into the rafters.

“You think maybe he’s exploiting her? I’m having a hard time believing a manager would be this obsessed with a girl if he wasn’t getting something from it,” Romero chimed in.

“How would we even find that out? We’d have to do digging of some kind,” Heiwajima responded as Hirugami looked at Korai.

“What if we hire a private investigator? You know, someone who’d be able to look into this creep.”

Korai stopped, thinking for a second before responding, “that’s not a bad idea actually. We could look into him and see what’s up. There’s just something about him and how he treats her. I’ve never ever seen a manager so obsessed.”

“It’s not like the guy would know someone’s following him or even checking into him. Most investigators are super inconspicuous and good at their jobs,” Hirugami added.

“I think I know a guy who might be able to help,” Romero blurted out, running to grab his phone as the guys began to talk out their plan of action.

Within a few hours, the team had a guy working on actively gathering information on Michael. He told the team that the case seemed pretty straightforward and he could easily dig up some information, maybe even having something within 24 to 48 hours. The guy was a friend and big fan of the Adlers, so court side seats and a bonus fee was all he needed to get working quickly. He assured Korai and the team that he’d find something, remarking that people like Michael often have something to hide.

The hotel felt cold, way colder than it had before. The buttons on the elevator cool to the touch as Korai ascended. The floor was quiet and every step he took felt heavy as he made his way back to your shared room.

He had made a plan, a plan he hoped would work. He wanted to get you out of modeling and away from that slime ball. He wanted to show you how much he cared and wanted to be with you. He knew leaving last night probably wasn’t the smartest move but he needed to gather his thoughts. After talking with his teammates and friends, he realized that his feelings for you were real and stronger than he originally thought. You weren’t merely a friend to him, you were a million times more and he wanted that. He wanted to be there for you, to support you and for you to support him. If that meant he’d have to put up with your dickhead of a manager for a little longer, he’d do it. He made the decision to be with you and he was going to tell you just that.

Korai felt confident as he pulled out his key, opening the door to complete silence. Stepping in he immediately noted something wasn’t right. The room felt empty, the traces of your perfume the only thing floating around the empty room.

“YN?” He called, closing the door and walking in to see the bed made and completely empty. His heart sank as he repeated “no no no” in his head a million times. His bag fell to the floor as he ran to the bathroom and flipped the lights on. Everything you had was gone.

“Shit SHIT!” He swore, running over to where your clothes had been and noticing the entirety of your wardrobe and items were missing. He scanned for anything you might have left as his eyes landed on the key and note. Picking it up, his breathing seemed to stop as he read the words you had written to him, his heart breaking.

You really thought this was all your fault. Everything that had happened, you had blamed on yourself. Korai’s eyes read and reread the letter hoping to find something that might point to where you were but there was nothing.

“Fuck!” He yelled as he raked his hands through his hair and called Hirugami.

“Hello?”

“Dude she’s gone! She’s fucking gone!” Korai shouted into the phone, his panicked voice ringing thought the thin walls of the hotel.

“Wait what? She’s gone gone? Like she packed up and left? Maybe she just stepped out for a minute or something?” He responded as Korai nodded, pacing around the room.

“She hasn’t left this room for days man! She left a note and fuck- she thinks she’s ruined my life. She thinks I’ll be better off without her! Fuck man what if something happened to her? What if that fucking asshole took her and forced her to write this note? Shit we have to call the police!” Korai shouted, practically wearing a hole on the floor pulling at his hair.

“Ok dude first off, calm down ok? We need to figure out where she’d go,” Hirugami said, trying to calm his friend down.

“Where would she go? Dude she’s fucking homeless! Where the hell else would she go?!”

“Ok well she can’t go back to your apartment, so maybe she went to another hotel? Can you call her?” He promoted as Korai quickly remembered he had your number. How stupid was he?

“I totally forgot I had her number dude! I’ll call her now!” Korai said, hanging up after promising to let Hirugami know what happened.

Korai pulled his phone out, pulling up your number and dialing. It immediately went to voicemail, noting your cheery voice delivering the devastating news that you were available.

“Fuck fuck!” Korai shouted before another idea popped into his head. He ran from the hotel room, choosing to race down the emergency stairwell to get to the front desk. Surely someone had seen you leave, someone had to have.

In the lobby, Korai ran to the desk as the lady stared at him in shock, “YN LN, she was sharing room 1516 with me and she might have checked out! Do you know where she went?”

The lady stared at Korai before turning back to her computer, “I’m sorry sir, I can’t give private information away about our clients.”

Korai was pissed as he growled, his eyes burning with flames, “she could be in danger and you’re telling me you won’t give me anything?!?”

The lady turned back to him, her eyes narrowing in his direction. “With all do respect sir, how do I know that you aren’t the one harming her? I can’t just give out information like that, the privacy of our clients is very important to us. I’m sorry but I’m unable to help you.”

Korai was angry but he couldn’t argue with the woman. It was her job after all, and he wasn’t really being the most rational. He slammed his hands on the marble before running out to the valet. If he had to, he’d drive to every single hotel in the country to find you.

“Ahh Mr. Hoshiumi, how are you?” The man at the valet asked as Korai handed him his cars ticket.

“Not great, I’m kinda in a hurry right now.”

“I saw Miss YN leave earlier in a Taxi. I asked her if she was going to meet you but she said she was checking out. She looked tired and like she had been crying so I didn’t ask her anything more,” the man said as Korai’s eyes widened.

“Do you know where she went? I have to find her!”

“I don’t personally know but one of the drivers from the taxi company we contract with took her. Actually, he’s right over there!” The man said pointing at a taxi as Korai’s head turned to see.

“Thank you! Thank you so much! Can you bring my car around please?” Korai said, quickly running over to the Taxi cab and pounding on the window as the taxi driver pulled his window down slightly.

“Can I help you?”

Korai pulled up a picture of you from instagram and turned it towards the man, “this woman, where did you take her?”

The driver studied the picture before his eyes widened in realization, “oh yes! Miss YN. I took her to a hotel on the other side of town, the Gardens or Garden of something. Poor thing was trying to hold her tears in the whole ride.”

Korai’s breathing picked up as he thanks the driver and ran back to his car, jumping in and taking off. His mind was racing and his chest was heavy with guilt. If anything, all of this was his fault. His fault for leaving you last night, his fault for not telling you his feelings. He had to tell you everything, he had to come clean.

His phone sounded through the car as he accepted the call from Kageyama.

“Hey man, did you find her?”

“Yeah I’m on my way to get her now. I’m sorry to do this man but I might be late for warmups. Can you cover for me for a bit?” Korai spoke as Kageyama laughed.

“Of course man, go get your girl ok? And bring her to the game!”

A small smile creasted across Korai’s face as he raced to the hotel, avoiding as much traffic as he could. The hotel you were staying at The Gardens Regis wasn’t as fancy as the other place but it was still nothing to sneeze at. Korai pulled up the valet, quickly jumping out and tossing his keys to the man, shouting his name and running thought the doors. The lobby wasn’t huge but it was still decked out, hints of gold and marble accents littering the area.

“Hello sir, how may I assist you?” A man asked as Korai ran to the reception desk.

“I’m looking for a Miss Yn Ln. I was told she checked in here,” Korai asked as the man began to type.

“Ahh yes Miss Ln is here.”

Korai let out a relieved breath as he bent over, his chest feeling relieved as he took a few deep breathes. You were safe.

“I need to know where she is.”

“I’m sorry sir I can’t give that information away,” the man said as Korai groaned. Of course they can’t.

“Listen dude, I know it’s your job and I’m not trying to be a jerk here but I need to find her now! And if you don’t want me knocking on every single fucking door in this hotel, I advise you tell me asap!”

“Im sorry sir but if you do that, I’ll have to have you removed from the premises,” the man responded, picking up the receiver and going to call what Korai assumed was Security.

“Fuck!” He shouted as he turned around, his hands on his hips and wracking his brain for an idea. Thankfully, someone was on his side as a small voice called to him.

“Mr. Hoshiumi?” Kai called as his head snapped to her, running to her quickly.

“Kai! Do you know which room Yn is in? Please I need to talk to her!”

“Oh of course! She’s in room 1203, it’s a suite,” she said as Korai smiled, grabbing your coffee and running to the elevators.

“Thank you Kai! I owe you so fucking much!!” He shouted, waving as he banged on the button and quickly entered the elevator, hitting the 12th floor.

“Come on come on!” He whispered as the elevator dinged and he ran to find room 1203. It was relatively easy to find, located at the end of the hallway away from the other rooms.

He approached, knocking as he waited to hear any sigh of movement. He heard you talking as the door clicked open.

“Hey Kai- wait, Korai? What- what are you doing here?” You asked, voice shaking as Korai stared at you.

“I came to find you and bring you back. YN , I-I fucked I’m so bad and I came to apologize. I read your note and I want you to know that none of this is your fault. If anything, it’s mine. I-I care about you Yn, a hell of a lot and I just hate how that man treats you,” he blabs as you stare at him, trying extremely hard not to cry. Your hands are shaking and you are close to utter failure as the tears crest.

“Korai I’m not good for you. I care about you so much, more than just a friend and I don’t want to hurt you anymore,” you cried, tears streaming down your face as Korai forced you in the room, setting your coffee down and hauling you into a hug.

“Sweetheart, you’ve been nothing BUT good for me! Everything you said, how you’ve been so happy these past few days has been the same for me. I’ve never been so happy YN. For a long time, all I thought I needed was volleyball but you- you’ve changed that for me. I don’t think I could stand be without you YN. When I read your note, my heart dropped. I hurt knowing you were hurting and knowing I caused it. I’m sorry for running, I’m sorry for fighting with your manager, I’m sorry for everything. Please, just please, come back with me?” He said, squeezing you tight as you held onto him, tears flowing as you cried hard into his shoulder. He caressed your back, head buried into your neck as he shushed you.

“Korai- what if? What if you regret this? I don’t know if I can do this if you tell me later on that this was all a mistake,” you said, pulling away as Korai met your eyes.

“YN, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you,” he said as your eyes widened and met his, “actually no, I AM in love with you baby and if anything, I’d regret walking out that door and letting you go.”

You smiled at him, your tears flowing quickly as he pulled you into a sloppy and quick kiss, the emotions of the last few hours finally coming full circle. He pulled you close, your body molding with yours as his lips moved smoothly and effortlessly against yours. Pulling back, you looked at him, your foreheads falling together as your eyes closed.

“I love you too Korai,” you said as he beamed back, hauling you up and spinning you around as you squeaked with joy.

“Korai put me down! Don’t you have a match today?!” You said as Korai out you down, pulling you against him again as if something was threatening to tear you away forever.

“Kageyama is coving for me because I had to find you and he told me I had to bring you to the game.”

You laughed and nodded, pulling away from him as you made your way to your bag and dug for something. Korai watched you, his brow cocked as he wonder what you were doing. Suddenly you turned, a short, curve hugging black dress in your hand.

“I picked this up because I thought it would be cute,” you said, face turning a little red as Korai looked over the dress and back to your body. He sat down on the bed, observing you as you watched him in confusion, “korai are you ok?”

“Me? Yeah I’m fine just trying to logistically figure out how fast I can win this game so I can take you out and brag to everyone that you are mine.”

You giggled as Korai stood, coming over to you and placing a sweet peck on your lips. You felt so good, so right. You were everything he wanted and more, everything he dreamed of and you were all his.

*RING RING RING RING*

Korai looked at his phone, rolling his eyes as he looked to you. You nodded as he slip his finger across the screen and answered.

“Bro did you find her?” Hirugami shouted, his voice echoing from inside the locker room.

“Yeah I did. We will be heading to the stadium soon,” Korai answered as he head Hirugami shout that he had found you, inciting an all out riot in the locker room.

“That’s great man! The box is saved for her and there is some security guards that will meet you at the entrance,” Hirugami added as Korai nodded and bid his captain a farewell.

“Well I better get dressed,” you said, grabbing your dress, bra and panties. Thankfully, you had just washed and styled your hair, meaning it needed very little to make it perfect.

You began walking to the bathroom as Korai followed, stopping right outside as you went to shut the door.

“Hey whoa- don’t deprive me of this view please?” He said as you laughed, slowly shutting the door in his face.

“Sorry babe but you don’t get a peek before you unwrap this present.”

Taglist: @thisbicc @missalienqueen

36 notes · View notes

simmerdowndee · 28 days

Text

uni_dayz episode twelve part six

The group is headed to dinner, but I decided to stay behind. I’m not really up for going out tonight. Theres something about your ex-boyfriend popping up on a trip for your achievements that kind of makes you lose your appetite. I’m just going to stay in my room and watch mukbang’s all night. Even though I’m upset with Theo, I kinda don’t want him to leave. He clearly is here for a reason, seeing its MY trip. So I want to know why, but he can wait until I’m ready to talk to him.

Laura: Where is Dakota?

Chloe: She’s in her room. She didn’t want to come out. She doesn’t have an appetite.

Theo: Is she sick? Maybe I should go check on her?

Noah: Maybe you should.

Laura: Maybe you shouldn’t try to force it Theo.

Theo: I just want to check on her, that’s all.

Laura: Fine. Meet us at the restaurant when you are done.

Laura: I’m serious Theo, don’t force it.

Theo: I hear you loud and clear.

Back in Dakota’s room

*Knock Knock*

Laura must have realized I wasn’t going to dinner. It’s fine. I’m okay in my room tonight.

Dakota: Laura, I know you’re worried but I’m –

Dakota: Theo.

Theo: Chloe said you weren’t feeling well. Are you okay?

Dakota: I’m fine.

Theo: Okay, I just wanted to check on you.

Dakota: Thanks, but I’m good.

Theo: Okay…

Theo: Hey… can we please talk?

He couldn’t let me have the rest of the night to process his surprise appearance. He just had to talk as soon as he got here….

Dakota: Sure.

Theo: Let’s go downstairs to the kitchen.

Dakota: K.

We head downstairs and sit at the kitchen table. On the table is my favorite bottle of wine.

Dakota: There’s no way you knew this was my favorite bottle of wine….

Theo: I brought a bottle back from Windenburg. I saw it on your story once…

Dakota: Of course, you did…

Dakota: So…

Theo: You look good. I like your hair.

Dakota: Thanks. I see you cut yours, it looks nice.

Theo: Thank you. I wanted to try something new for once.

Theo: I saw you were still wearing your necklace and bracelet…

Dakota: Conveniently I decided to wear them the day before you got here. I didn’t know they had summoning powers….

Dakota: So, what did you want to talk about?

Theo: Us. Dakota I-

Dakota: Last time I checked there was no us.

Theo: I know, but-

Dakota: But what Theo?

Dakota: You know you have some fucking nerve showing up here out of the blue.

I need to get up because I’m now starting to get angry again.

Theo: Dakota, wait. Please.

Dakota: Why are you here Theo?

Theo: Because I miss you. I miss us.

Dakota: You just randomly missed me and wanted to see me?

Theo: Truthfully, I missed you the entire time I was away. I was miserable.

Dakota: But that was supposed to be me, remember?

Theo: Dakota, is that fair?

Dakota: Tell me what is, Theo?

Theo: You didn’t miss me at all?

Dakota: Of course, I fucking missed you, I didn’t want you to leave.

Theo: Do you still love me?

Dakota: Unfortunately, yes. I do.

Theo: How is that unfortunate?

Dakota: Because you broke my fucking heart Theo.

*Dakota starts to cry*

Dakota: I spent most of my time thinking about you, wondering what I would say or do when I saw you again, hoping you would just come back because I fucking love you.

Theo: Baby, I’m sorry. I fucked up. I really did, but I want to fix it.

Theo: Please don’t cry.

Dakota: And what about your little girlfriend?

Theo: Girlfriend? What girlfriend?

Dakota: The girl from your simsta posts.

Theo: She’s just a teammate. That’s all Dakota. I don’t feel anything for her at all.

Well, that’s a relief.

Theo: I just want to be with you. I love you. I love you so much.

Dakota: How do I know you won’t just up and leave again? You just let me go. Like I meant nothing.

Theo: Baby, I swear to God, I won’t ever leave you again. You are everything to me.

Dakota: I love you too.

Theo: I love you baby, I’m so sorry.

For a second, I didn’t know if I ever wanted to speak to him again. The minute I saw him, I became angry all over again, but also happy to see him. I couldn’t be happier than I am in this moment. All I wanted was to be with him.

I’m so happy I didn’t send him away.

Later that night….

Laura: I’m going to go check on Dakota. Maybe you should go check on Theo.

Noah: Yeah, I’ll go check in…

A few seconds later

Noah: Theo is not in his room. Do you think she made him leave?

Laura: I know where he is….

Noah: I should have figured.

Laura: Is that jealously I hear?

Noah: Not at all. Her heart is back where it belongs.

2 notes · View notes

nicromancytarot · 17 days

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/nicromancytarot/750651923045187584/hi-i-just-read-about-your-story-about-your-future

hello, i just read this and would like to say that i am experiencing this too. the timeline you went through all of that, is eerily similar to mine.

this dates back all the way to 2022 for me, when i saw a dream where i saw their face. i have never heard or seen of them before and the dream was so romantic tho. at first i was miserable, at the fact that it's a famous person and that this is a lonely fight in which no one is going to take my word for it and believe me, i've been called delusional by my own people when i hinted at it.

so i literally tried everything like you did, went within and looked at theirs and mine astrology charts, everything lined up perfectly and for some time, i decided to distract myself with other people in hopes i would forget about this whole ordeal and get over it. but they literally came in my dream and i saw them crying that i don't want to be with them.

i've never been in a relationship and i'm currently focused on myself now but i recently got a reading that i'm going to meet them soon and that scared the shit out of me, but i don't know really how everything is gonna unfold.

reading yours and this anon's posts really made me feel appreciated to know that we aren't alone but we are obviously running the risk of being called delusional, conceited that a bunch of bloggers on tumblr thinks we are their spouses but it's literally fate. we didn't have a hand in this.

i hope all goes well for you and to everyone facing this. <3

It’s definitely interesting to see way more people come forth about this stuff, I was thinking I’d maybe find one or two people who relate, so it’s interesting that it’s much higher than I thought.

When it comes to people calling us delusional or thinking we are so. It definitely welds down to the amount of people who wholeheartedly believe they are going to marry some super famous celebrity or some k-pop idol, as there are so many people who think so and it’s obvious that it’s fuelled by hope and delusion.

It’s interesting that you saw their face without knowing who they were too, maybe your subconsciousness remembered them from somewhere and you forgot, I could talk about subconscious understanding forever I swear, it’s so interesting.

I think with you working on yourself and saying that you want to move on from this person, you may actually find that you will, perhaps this connection is here to help you build a better relationship with yourself and once you’re done with that, you’ll be able to disconnect from them entirely.

It’s definitely difficult since there’s little to no way of proving ourselves not to be insane lmao, especially with as many people as there are making a bad rep for those who actually will marry someone somewhat “famous.”

0 notes

sageistrii · 2 months

Note

So during this so hee thing got into an argument it was small but u know one of her fan was like she ain't dating man "she's lesbian leader" and posted a clip of her saying "even the thought of it makes me feel not so good(can't remember the exact word sohee used but yeah it was something of similar meaning) nd the fan was making it look like sohee won't date a man and i was why do you think that she won't date so it was about that (it was when sohee posted her first story after hyeri's story saying "it's fun" ) and boom next day even before the company sohee herself posted there seeing e/o or she's dating the guy.

Idk if you know about the whole Karina thing where she had to apologise for dating the man and her fans were not ready at all for accepting the fact she's dating a man cause they ship her with some members or they think she's gay and all.

With Karina's case i do kinda blame a little to these idols who make queer bating their whole personality more than the talent for which they should know. Indulging in fanservice is fun nd shit but it's not when you're overdoing it.

In sohee's case i think it's people's problem cause just because she has said nice thing about the queer people you can't think she's one. She could very well be heterosexual and support queer people but people automatically connects it to them being queer and then gets mad when things are not the way it is.

Why not make the actual queer people that are loud and proud a leader? Why go around finding it in someone else's and get mad and act like you got cheated on or something? I know It's very big thing for queer people when the people they stan supports the community but be happy with it but don't just project. Like for me i personally think jimin is bi and i can acknowledge things but I'm not gonna go around declaring him as bi leader when he hasn't come out with his sexuality and has never talked about it.

Idk if yoy got what I'm trying to say it cause most of the times people think it's like I'm being homophobic when i got nothing with who loves whom cause that's not my life but i don't like the entitlement many in kpop/k-drama fans has. Acting like we know everything about everyone and that is a fact is not right.

Karina is my bias in aespa but I'll never understand why so many people thought she was gay?? Maybe it's because I don't really keep up with aespa much outside their music so I don't really know how she acts or her personality. Although I kinda understand why her stans went berserk because she's the one idol that I'm extremely attracted to.

Kpop stans are mad annoying because they'll swear a female idol is gay because they find them attractive... Like stand up. It's so obvious when idols queerbait so I don't understand why kpop stans still fall for it.

I remember I saw a hit tweet about Ning Ning, and it was a screenshot of her and her friend when they were on live and everyone in the quotes were so convinced that they were dating. Apparently Ning ning's friend (a non idol) looked like a masc lesbian (They did tbh) so by default it means they're ning's masc girlfriend/lover... According to kpop stans.

0 notes

spacecadetspe · 7 months

Text

Posts from last year:

Nov. 14, 2022

I have been fortunate not to dream for the past couple weeks, although I did finally have it out with X. He doubled down on his misunderstanding of our contract, so I have no choice but to lean on my attorney for support. I've cut my last ties with K, so I'm free to respond how I need. It was difficult and painful, but I dare say I'm in a better place now than before.

Unfortunately, I don't seem to be out of the woods yet. Mother has deemed it necessary to overhaul the Egyptian pantheon, and that means I am once more at odds with Aset, also known as Isis. I'm familiar with one of her incarnations; a healer who saw fit to cast me out. She said I appealed to her from a place of ego and trauma, and to be fair, I was angry at her. I was angry because I set aside my ego to be tactful and courageous, and of COURSE I'm traumatized. Being vulnerable and trusting someone not to hurt you with the knowledge you give them is part of killing the ego. My viewpoint remains that she's missing some perspective.

And so, she chased the prophet Khepri into my arms, and I defended her. Khepri was under Mother's influence when she destroyed two temples; Hathor and Aset, respectively. It will be my duty to advocate for her and explain Mother's influence. I'm surprised Ra didn't inform his children of Mother's existence.

This will be an excellent opportunity to humble Aset; her husband Osir would never be so bold as to attack me outright. If she is not careful, Heliopolis will go the way of Olympus, and I will rain fire down on them, as in the olden days.

Nov. 15, 2022

Well, that went well!

I called Ra to help me investigate Khepri's case, and it seemed to me that he was incensed on behalf of the Egyptian pantheon. Not exactly my best choice in advocate. Oh well. Not like I can't advocate for her on behalf of the Divine Flame.

Ra gathered the rest of his kin and we made our way to Heliopolis. We were met by Thoth, who recommended that I not set a poor precedent for this trial. I warned him that I would not take another blow from Aset or anyone else so lightly. She broke my solar plexus, and that is not a fun time.

Aset and Hathor were both understandably upset that some "madwoman" had damaged their temples and undermined their rulings with talk of the rainbow fire. I had to explain that the Divine Flame has her own sapience, and can and will take control of someone if she requires a mouthpiece. One way or another, she will find a way to make herself known.

Sekhmet asked at what cost this would occur, and I related my story to him about the fall of Olympus.

Long ago, I was Egyptian. I was raped by the Greek messenger god, Hermes, and bore his child, Autolycus. In time, and with support, I delivered retribution. I smote him with nightmares and crushing guilt over his actions. It was not well received. Hera, together with Ananke and Athena, who had been coerced, sent Apollo to batter me into submission. He did not succeed, and I went straight to Zeus on the matter.

Zeus had made the mistake of swearing that no Olympian would ever harm me again. He swore upon the Divine Flame, and as such had to face her wrath. I was instructed to rain hell down on Olympus, killing all within it. Those who survived could rebuild, but I'd dethroned the gods, stripped them of their powers, and aired my grievances.

I didn't want this. It didn't make me feel better. But if change was going to occur, Mother assured me it would happen with or without me. And I was the gentler option.

Aset was unimpressed, of course, said that the Divine Sage drives all her followers mad. I responded by informing her that each of the stars in the sky is a follower of hers. I then showed her the power of a budding astral guide, and took my dragon form, complete with my 300 wings. I gave Aset a vision of the beginning and end of the cosmos, how I was the manifestation of the grand cycle, and chided her for denouncing me. I informed them that for this offense, I could bring Heliopolis down around their ankles... But no. Cooler heads would prevail. I was there in the spirit of teaching, not destruction.

I confronted Ra about our life together, how the laws ultimately led to my premature death, and Mother's wrath in the form of ten ghastly plagues.

"I... can be better," Ra conceded.

After that, I left Heliopolis with Khepri, now under the protection of her gods, and we caroused with the Oneiroi all night.

#mythology and folklore #dreams #magic #past lives

0 notes

folkloreguk · 3 years

Text

French Class [6]

A/N: You guys might want to whack out your love song playlist for this one…I cried writing this BYE I'm posting this from my grave!!

genre: optional bias (m) x reader (f), fwb, f2l?, college!au, fuckboy!bias, nerd!reader, ANGST, smut

words: ~ 3.8 k

✽series masterlist✽

taglist (lmk if u wanna be added!): @lovely-ateez, @runaway-fics, @mainexiii, @awfullytiredbuthealing, @erikyoong, @etherealuv, @staysuki, @justcuz-ican, @yeostars, @hyuckthangs, @teenloves, @mexious18-blog, @sunghoonied, @mailobjaeyoon

couldn’t tag: @chorizoek

You: can I come over? I kind of need u

H/N: you need me huh…you’re lucky I’m home alone

It always starts differently. Some other question, or a subtle message of telling him you’re bored, or a flat-out confession of being horny. The ending is always the same. You, naked in his bed. You just had to get there, and things were easy when you were already on his dorm’s doorstep.

The moment he had opened the door, you had fistfuls of his hair between your fingers and attacked his mouth in a feverish kiss. He made a noise between a laugh and surprise but reacted quickly. His lips parted right away, letting you in, and you tasted mint from the chewing gum he liked so much.

“Let me- at least- close the door,” he mumbled. “Jeez, what’s gotten into you today?”

You stepped aside and mirrored his grin. He was acting surprised, but the way he instantly locked your lips after he had shut the door told you he was enjoying this as much as you were. You ran your hands down his torso and along the side of his thighs. His happy hum only poured oil into the fire, and you saw no reason as to why you should have kept your clothes on any longer. In minutes, in the middle of heated kisses and clumsy chuckles, your clothes were discarded, and you were left in your underwear. You stumbled into his bedroom in a tangle of arms and legs and heads barely pulling apart.

“Will you tell me about the date you had today or are we skipping over that part?” he asked, as he pushed you down by the shoulders onto his bed. You groaned a little, not even knowing where to start.

“Didn’t go well, huh?” he asked. Only a few nights ago you had consoled him after his failed date, now the roles were reversed.

“That’s one way to put it,” you said. He was climbing on top of you now, and the weight of him between your thighs still did the same things to you it had done the first time. There was one of his random playlists playing quietly from the speakers, but you were both too occupied to even consider switching the music off. You weren’t in the mood for a chat, not when he was biting and sucking bruises into your chest, pushing aside your bra just enough. But you knew he wasn’t going to let it go this easily.

“Tell me about it or I won’t take one more piece of clothing off your body,” he threatened. You shot him an are-you-serious-look while he only blinked at you innocently, like he was awaiting your response.

“Fine,” you groaned. “But hurry, now.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, before unclasping your bra and throwing it to the other side of the room. “Go ahead, I expect a story.”

You had rolled your eyes at him, but when he sucked on your nipple all of a sudden, and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bud ever so perfectly, your eyes moved to the back of your head involuntarily. And, before he could complain, you started to retell today’s events.

“Alright. First of all, he acted all gentleman-y. Pulling back my chair at the restaurant, letting me have a look at the menu first, letting me order first, asking me if I was okay with our seats because they were in the sunshine, or whether he should have requested we get a different in the shade table, blah, blah, blah.”

With the lewd noises he was making, kissing your chest and fumbling with your breasts, you almost wondered whether he was paying attention to you at all.

“I’m waiting for the plot twist,” he chuckled. “If he had been this great, you wouldn’t be in my bed right now, would you?” He was now on his way to your lower regions. Your breaths came out shaky when he gripped your hips with familiar fingertips and placed a few kisses there, right above the material of your underwear. Nonetheless, you had to continue your story.

“Oh, it’s coming,” you said. “Because I suspect, the only reason he was acting that way was to compensate. For the fact that he was an hour late.”

He stifled a laugh, and you slapped his head playfully. “It’s not funny! I stood outside that restaurant on a busy street like an idiot for an hour. During exam season!”

“I wonder, if studying is so special to you- ,” he said. He tugged on your underwear, and you barely cared about his words when you were already imagining his mouth on your pussy. “Why aren’t you at home right now, doing just that?”

“Too frustrated,” you groaned, spreading your legs, practically inviting him in. “You don’t get it. That was only the beginning of the date. It gets worse.”

“Oh, damn,” he laughed, and you were going to slap him again. Harder, this time. But his tongue kitten-licked over your clit and you didn’t dare interrupt him further.

“First of all, he turned out to be boring. An economics major. And look, I’m not generalizing, I’ve met some cool economics majors. But when I said I never really understood the whole thing with inflation and deflation, I wasn’t asking for him to explain it to me. I know what it means, I just meant to say money is the root of all evil,” you said, little moans slipping inbetween your sentences. He laughed whilst sipping on your clit. You couldn’t be mad at his laughing anymore. In fact, at the sound of his chuckles, your own lips curled into a smile, too. God, he was so good with his tongue.

“But turns out he loved money. Like it was the sole reason he was doing anything. When he showed me his gold watch I almost yawned,” you continued.

“Dating a rich guy can have its upsides too, though,” he said, but you knew he was joking. He was running the tips of his fingers over your core, and you whimpered at how badly you wanted him to put them inside of you. You loved watching him, loved feeling his hair tickle the side of your thighs and having his free hand laying on top of your hipbone. The familiarity of it all, his little habits, made your heart heavy, so full of emotion, all of a sudden. But you had to snap out of it.

“Not this guy. He kept saying these lowkey sexist things I won’t repeat now. It’ll only make me mad again. He was one of those who thought money would buy him a girlfriend. And I was really trying to see the good in him…only there was none,” you said.

“Alright, I’m starting to understand why you needed some cheering up,” he said. “Good thing you’re at the right place. I know just the thing.”

At this, he slid his digits into you. You hummed and dropped your head into the plush pillow. Slowly, you exhaled, happy you finally got to relax after being so upset. But of course, he had to interrupt. Again.

“Did I say you could stop? Was that the end of the story?” he said. How did he expect you to form a coherent sentence? He fingered you gently, but the slowness of it all only drove you crazier. You felt every tiny sensation, every new bit of you he touched.

“No,” you sulked. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“Go on, then,” he encouraged you, grinning because he was proud of your reaction he had caused.

“Fuck- okay. He was super shitty to the waiter. I’m talking about criticizing everything. This man had the audacity to complain about the food. I’m not a food critic, but I swear the food was amazing, there was nothing to fault at all,” you said, and then whined when he switched from licking your clit to sucking it between his teeth. You knew he was doing this on purpose. To make speaking harder for you.

“Oh my god, H/N. Wait, let me finish this. Not only was he horrible to the waiter in person, but he also made fun of the waiter’s appearance behind his back. And all along he expected me to find him funny. I used to think he had a sense of humor but not after today. Blech.”

“At least you got a free dinner?” he said, and without awaiting your answer, went back to work. Your head was spinning in pleasure, and you could only laugh sarcastically at his suggestion.

“Yeah. And after that train wreck of a date, he really thought he’d get to stick his tongue down my throat,” you said.

“Did he at least ask permission?” asked the boy between your legs.

“Mhm…but I told him I don’t do that on the first date,” you said. “Safe to say there won’t be another date, though.”

He looked up now, laughing more than before. You grinned, mainly because the sight of him was so cute. He folded his hands on your belly and put his face down onto your skin to giggle. In no way could you be upset or urge him to keep giving you head. In fact, you had forgotten about all of that for a while, as he seemed to enjoy your misfortune a little too wildly. You should have been hungry, eager to have the half-naked boy inside of you. Yet, you laughed at the way his breaths tickled your stomach and when he finally made eye contact, it was a wholly different sort of hunger which overcame you. Instead of the heat he usually made you feel, it was a comfortable warmth that was in your chest. It reminded you of a bonfire or of drinking your favorite hot drink on a cool autumn day.

“I want to watch you come,” he said, casually. “Were you close?”

You were so lost in his trustworthy, dreamy eyes, you almost forgot to reply. Quickly, you nodded and hummed.

“I would have already come, had you not pestered me to tell you all the details of my date,” you said. The way his cheeks beamed when he smiled made you feel as if your insides were turning into mush.

“I’m sorry. I’m your friend, aren’t I allowed to ask how your day went?” he asked.

“Of course you are,” you said. The word ‘friend’ echoed off every wall in your head until you wished you could have deleted it from the dictionary.

“I’ll make sure it feels extra good now,” he said, kissing your stomach. You shivered as you watched his gentle lips move lower, to your hips and the insides of your thighs. The touch felt like butterfly wings on your skin, and the tardiness of it made you impatient. When his tongue came in contact with your clit again, you sucked in a breath of surprise.

He tried to start slowly, but then you gripped his hair tightly, and carefully pushed him further. It was something you did often, a way to tell him you wanted more without having to use words. After all this time, he understood perfectly. Your clit was between his lips and his tongue flicked over the sensitive bundle of nerves with just the right amount of pleasure. It felt incredible, creating a funny sensation in the pit of your stomach. His fingers grazed over your slit until you were whimpering and shifting your hips, trying to make him hurry.

One of his digits slid into you easily, curling against your sweet spot, and it hit you only now how much you had missed him between your legs since he had stopped a few minutes ago. It made you feel as though you were suddenly overwhelmed with all of him, but you were willing to let the heat crash over you if it meant you could be close to him.

“Am I making it up to you now?” he asked as he pulled away merely for a breath. “I’ll turn your day into a good one after all.”

In a different tone his words would have sounded like the exact thing one would have expected to hear from a fuckboy in the bedroom. He could have boasted and bragged endlessly about how great he was with his tongue and fingers – he would have been right – but he didn’t mean it like that. You could tell from the uprightness and the authenticity in his voice that he really was doing his best because he wanted to make you feel better and turn your day around. Because you were special to him. Or so you desperately hoped.

Your legs wrapped around his shoulders as if you were trapping him between your thighs. But he was right there, and he would gladly stay for so much longer, and to say it puzzled you was an understatement. The boy who belonged to everybody, who was known by all of the campus, was treating you like you were royalty, and not the other way around. You moaned, his name inevitably falling from your lips. He added another finger and the slightest stretch made you lose your mind for a split second.

“That guy could have never made you feel this good, could he?” he suddenly asked. Your initial response was a helpless whine. You had been so close, and his talking had interrupted the otherworldly bliss for a moment.

“No, never,” you then whimpered shortly. ‘No’ was such a tiny word. It could barely encapsule what you truly meant to say. Which was that it would have never even gotten that far. That other guys couldn’t even have you at all. They didn’t get their turn to try and beat him. Not as of lately, at least. That you didn’t so much as dare to think about sleeping with other guys. That even before you had gone on the date, you had known it wouldn’t lead to anything. No guy could let you develop an interest on him in the same way the boy between your legs had done it. No other would be able to kidnap your brain like that. H/N was always there. Even when it was only you and your sex toys, you would automatically pretend it was him getting you off. You were so far gone that it was embarrassing how long it had taken you to admit it to yourself. But it was a colossal thing to confess to him, and you would never do that. Rejection would hurt a billion times more than whatever it was you two had now.

Your heart was racing as you closed your eyes. You had been so lost in thought, it was wondrous you hadn’t fallen yet. But you were right on the edge, making your breaths come out like puffs and a string of moans and swears sound from your lips. He too had stopped talking, concentrating on the task at hand, and judging by the way your back arched he was doing one hell of a good job.

“Oh my god- “ you whimpered. “I’m so close, H/N.”

This time he didn’t reply, which was for the best. Only a few seconds passed until you started to quiver and whine beneath him. You were going to outer space behind your eyelids as your high rushed through you. Your fingers curled and tightened in his locks while your legs clenched around his head. He was quick to pull your thighs apart again, still not being finished. For long seconds you swam in pleasure, with nothing on your mind but bursting stars. He was heaven, knowing precisely how far he could take it until you were too sensitive to take any more.

When you were at that point, he finally pulled away and looked up at your crumpled form. There was a lazy smile playing in the corner of your lips and your vision was hazy after having had your eyes closed for a while. He climbed up your body until his chest was against yours so he could really look at you.

“I get all of this without ever having been on a single date with you? I’m so lucky,” he said. You only smiled at him, at a loss for words. What were you to say? The two of you were clearly past the awkward dating stage already.

“I’m lucky you let me come over all the time,” you said. “I would have expected the campus fuckboy to be busier. To not have an empty spot in his bed every night.”

“Ah, shut up,” he said. “I’d rather have you here than a girl I don’t know at all. Look, I’m really tired so I don’t know how this will go…but can I?” He was on his knees, a tent visible in his boxers. With a questioning look, he was tugging them down his legs now.

“Of course,” you said. As you watched him roll on a condom, your ears perked up. Did that song have to come on shuffle just now? The coziest, most romantic love song you adored so much? You knew if you looked him in the eyes you’d be done for. But there wasn’t anywhere else to look when he settled between your legs and held up his weight with his forearms. His eyes were deep enough for you to get lost within a second. Distracting yourself was impossible. The one last thing you could do was to reach between the two of you and guide his length into you.

The song’s chorus came on, you looked at him once again, and suddenly you were all his. You didn’t need to tell him so. He thrust gently, almost carefully, like he had never done it with you. Your heart hammered against your ribcage so vivaciously, you wondered whether it had turned autonomous and was now trying to jump out of your body, onto his skin and through it, so it could nestle next to his own heart.

Neither of you spoke. Yet, there had never been so much chemistry, such a heavy amount of uncommunicated emotions between the two of you. You were ready to hang on his every word, should he decide to speak up. In your head rampaged a billion sentiments you needed him to know, but there was no option to express them adequately. Perhaps there were simply no words in the English language to declare your feelings for him.

Small whimpers and moans left your lips only for him to hear. Sometimes he moved a little quicker, gifting you with the most perfect sounds he could make. And to know you were the cause for it sent you into overdrive. His mouth was right above yours. If you lifted your head slightly, you could have kissed his sweet, sweet lips. But you were so afraid. What would he think? You had never kissed him during sex. Not softly, like you wanted it so terribly.

Even worse, you craved so much more than that. You wanted to pull him in, envelope his mouth in your own, crawl over the edge of his lips and reside in his chest for safety. Because that’s what he was. Comfort. Reassurance. Home. How foolish you had been, pretending this little fling would lead to nothing more. You really had told yourself this would work. No feelings. Just fun. You couldn’t deny having fun with him. He was the best company you had ever known, and he had become your most precious friend quickly. It was as if you had only been waiting for the silly, flirty boy to sit across from you in the library and make weak advances towards you.

The love song tuned out slowly, replaced by something more sensual and sinful. In accordance with the new background noise, he gripped your hips a little meaner and went faster. You barely noticed how his breathing had sped up as he was getting closer to his orgasm. A trance had overcome you, transfixing you on his godlike features and how much it hurt to know you couldn’t call him yours. In your head you were made for each other. They always said to date your best friend, didn’t they? You could try to turn back time, go back to your first meeting place, at the party. See if things would turn out different. But you knew they wouldn’t. As much as your fear tried to suppress it – you would take the same path again, stumbling head-first into his arms and letting him into your life like a crashing wave of laughter and heart-crushing conversations.

Now you reflected in despair, how he had taken your heart in a storm, without having to try too hard. And worst of all, you were okay with it. Your heart was secure with him, you thought. The feelings yearned to be spoken out loud, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“You feel so good,” he said. “Always, so fucking good.”

He snapped his hips against yours, burying his cock deep inside of you and all you could muster was a hum of agreement. This is what you got for keeping him at arms-length from the beginning. Wasn’t it you who had challenged him to be friends and only that? Perhaps you would be okay, so long as no one else called him theirs either. You could go on like this, letting him use you for sexual relief and making him laugh when he needed it. Gladly, you would take the pain of not being allowed to love him with your whole being if it meant you could see him whenever you wanted. Exposing those silly emotions would wreck your friendship and you wouldn’t let it happen.

He grunted and only then, when he lowered his head into the crook of your neck and moaned your name, you realized he was reaching his high. Softly, you cradled his head in your hands, as if it was the last time you could hold him like this. When he put his forehead against yours, he had his eyes closed and his chest was moving steadier than before.

“You’re the best,” he whispered. “Stay the night?”

Should you have gone home, and missed him all night? Would you have regretted saying no while you curled up in bed with no Cheshire-cat-grin-boy to hold? Or were you to remain in his bed, and pray you would survive the torture of not speaking your mind? His skin radiated the most wonderful warmth and you wanted to trace his lips with your eyes until you fell asleep. That’s how quickly it was decided.

“Okay,” you answered.

456 notes · View notes

miss-smutty · 3 years

Text

Forbidden

Chapter 1

A/N- I've teased y'all for so long I hope this series is going to live up to expectations, I'm confident it will though because I'm addicted and it's been super easy for me to write - I'm up to chapter 3 so far so updates can be on time! There's a slight age gap between my professor Hemsy and OC Jess but she's twenty and completely legal. You know this is gunna be a giant tease fest for the first couple of chapters cos that sexual tension is fucking gold 🥵

Summary- Jess meets the man of her dreams and then stupidly leaves without getting his number. Will fate bring them together again?

Word count- 1.5 K

Pairing- Professor!Chris Hemsworth x OC

Warnings- Swearing, age gap

18+ only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 5th August 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle

@skyfullofsong123 @swaggysposts

Chapter 2

I pulled out a chair at the last available table in the unusually busy coffee shop, I thought I might've caught a break choosing the one outside of campus but alas I was wrong.

I was about to sit down when the chair opposite me slid out from under the table, my eyes lifted to meet with the most sparkly blue eyes i'd ever seen. The sight of him took my breath away. Literally.

I stood staring, frozen on the spot, my mouth slightly ajar as I looked him up and down. He was tall, so tall, definitely over 6ft and built like a dream. Thick thighs straining against his fitted trousers, wide muscular shoulders and I just knew there was a six-pack hiding behind that tight t-shirt.

"Sorry. You were here first, I'll just grab a take-out." He smirked a side smile, amused at how I was so obviously checking him out but his sexy Australian accent distracted you from anything else.

"It's fine, I'm on my own. I don't mind if you want to sit there too." I mentally face palmed myself, drawing attention to the fact I was alone wasn't the best idea but then again he was alone too. "I don't bite." I added trying my best to flirt.

It seemed to work, he smiled at me as he sat down and I took the time to admire his handsome face. He was quite clearly a lot older than me, the laughter lines around his eyes a tell tale sign but he was still quite possibly the best looking man I'd ever laid eyes on. His hair was fair and the short beard framed his face perfectly but the one thing that stood out the most were those piercing ocean-blue eyes.

"So do you come here often?" I cocked my eyebrow at him over my coffee cup making him laugh at my reaction. "Sorry, it's been a while." He said nervously, running his hand through his hair.

"It's been a while since you spoke to a stranger or…?" I questioned casually.

"It's been a while since I spoke to an attractive woman." He finished, his eyes sparkling as he watched me almost choke on my drink.

"Oh, I err…. I don't think you're doing too badly." I absentmindedly circled my finger around the rim of my cup, crossing my leg over my other and accidently rubbing my foot up his leg. My cheeks felt hot and flushed as I looked up into his eyes and saw him smiling slyly.

"Evidently. We're already playing footsie under the table." He smiled widely, a genuine smile that stretched the corners of his mouth. I smiled back at him shyly, thinking of something to say to change the subject before I ended up looking like a tomato.

"What part of Australia are you from?"

"I'm originally from Melbourne but I lived in Byron Bay before I came to America."

"Awesome. I've always wanted to go to Australia, the Spiders put me off though."

"Yeah I think they put most people off but in heavily populated areas they stay pretty much hidden, I think it's the size that scare people." How have I made this conversation go from flirting to talking about spiders? And how do I get back to flirting?

"Are we still talking about spiders?" I raised my eyebrows questioningly and laughed at the innuendo, flicking my hair over my shoulder. I noticed something in his eyes when I did so, a hunger, just a little flash and then it was gone again. I'm sure I didn't imagine it though because his eyes lingered on my exposed shoulders.

I checked my watch subtly, not wanting him to think he was boring me but I had to get to class and couldn't be late again, not when this semester had only just started.

"I'm really sorry, I'm gonna have to run, I'm going to be late. It was really nice meeting you." I gathered up my bags, ready to leave.

"Already? You've only just got here." He looked disappointed, his smile fading. His mouth opened as if he was going to say something else and then closed again when he saw I was ready to leave. "It was really nice to meet you too, hopefully I'll see you again." His eyes sparkled as he looked into mine, standing from his chair to get the door for me. I felt fireworks when his hand brushed against the small of my back and his face lingered close to mine. The tension was unreal, like we were the only people in the room as his eyes hungrily stared into my soul, undressing me with his eyes. My heart stopped beating when his face moved closer to mine so I could feel his breath on my lips, the smell of coffee and his aftershave filling my nostrils. I paused, my feet routed to the spot, I wanted him to kiss me so badly but I moved away at the last minute. Surely he wasn't actually going to kiss me, we'd only just met, that would be ridiculous. Wouldn't it?

********

I spent most of class daydreaming about my tall handsome stranger and the way he looked at me but most of all how I didn't even get his name. Or his number.

Now I was feeling sorry for myself because it would just be my luck to meet the man of my dreams and then never see him again. So I'd moped about all day and avoided the invitations for drinks after class. Instead I'd

gotten home early, changed into some sweats and settled myself in front of the TV for the night.

"What's up with your face?" My roommate, Ellie said as she walked into our room, throwing her bags onto her bed.

"What're you talking about?"

"Your face. Looks like you're chewing on a wasp."

"Feeling sorry for myself." I pout pathetically.

"Why, what've you done now?" She rolled her eyes, kicking off her shoes and throwing her legs up onto the bed. I felt so lucky to have a roommate like Ellie, during our freshman year she'd become my best friend practically straight away and now after two years together we were practically sisters.

I sat up in bed cross legged and faced Ellie, getting myself ready to spill my misfortunes of the day with her.

"Well, I went to Impresso's this morning to get my morning coffee before class." She nodded, showing her enthusiasm by also sitting cross legged on her own bed, facing me. "And it was packed full of students, there was only one table left. So I went to grab it as soon as I could." She raised her eyebrow at me, wondering where I was going with the story. "And I kid you not, the most attractive man I have ever seen, pulls out the chair opposite me."

"Oh my god! No way. Did you talk? Oh my god, this is like the perfect chick flick. Carry on." I smiled at her excitement.

"I told him I didn't mind if he sat there, I mean of course I didn't mind, you should've seen him El. Oh, oh, oh I almost forgot" I flapped my hands, bouncing on the spot. "He was fucking Australian."

"Fuck off, you're lying. Drop dead gorgeous with the sexiest accent ever. How is this even real? Now remind me why you're sat there with a face like a slapped arse?"

"I panicked when I had to leave, didn't want to be late for class and I didn't get his number, didn't even give him chance to ask for mine."

"Wow! Ok, now I understand. What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't thinking, I was panicking and you know what I'm like when I panic." You sulk.

"It's ok, maybe you'll bump into him again."

"Yeah, right. I should be so lucky."

"Cheer up." she says throwing a cushion at me. "There's a party at Alpha Kappa this weekend, I'm sure we can find you someone to help get over your mystery man. Or under should I say?" She raised her eyebrow at me, smiling slyly and making me laugh. She always did know how to cheer me up and maybe a party is what I needed.

There must be some good looking boys around campus that could make me forget about my Australian hunk. Surely? I thought about the guys I'd seen around campus, the guys I'd seen at frat parties and that's definitely not what I wanted. How could a twenty year old boy match to the masculine, experienced man I met this morning. My mind was set, I'd dipped my feet ever slightly into the mature pool and that's what I wanted more than anything. There was always something missing with previous boyfriends and I was tired of all the game playing. I wanted someone who knew what they wanted and wasn't afraid to get it.

The only thing was, he didn't know I was only twenty and I had no way of finding him again. If fate did bring us back together, would he mind that I was still a student? That I couldn't even drink when we went on dates?

Who am I kidding? Of course he would mind, he could get any woman he wanted, why would he want me?

#smut #chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth fanfic #chris hemsworth smut #chris hemsworth x reader #chris hemsworth x you #chris Hemsworth series #chris Hemsworth X oc #mcu rpf

107 notes · View notes

ickle-ronniekins · 4 years

Text

black & white

request: from nonnie: ASDFGhjkl. Why are your fics so CUTE? 😭 Can I request a cute and cheesy George proposing to the fem!reader—and they’re wedding? 💜

desc: a love story unfolded via a timeline of events and colors. based on the song ‘black and white’ by niall horan

pairing: george x fem!reader

word count: 5.5k

warning(s): lil bit of angst, alcohol, some sexual content if you squint but it stops before things ~heat up~

A/N: this is just pure fluff. may or may not have cried at the cheesiness. idk. i’m a cheesy gal. can’t help it. i’m in love with a fictional character. sorry i went a tad overboard with this. also let’s pretend ~voldy~ doesn’t exist in this k? reminder that my requests are currently closed, i am merely working through the requests already in my inbox. i do not give permission for my work to be posted on any other platform.

Red

Red, hot fury swept through your bones as you watched him laugh hysterically alongside his brother. You balled your fists together, ready to throw a punch, but you knew your mum would lock you in your room until you were forty years of age if you even thought of throwing hands.

George Weasley was a pretentious little git. It was bad enough that he was your neighbour and you had to see him and his equally annoying twin in the village nearly every day, but what made it even worse was that for whatever reason, he’d chosen you to be on the receiving end of all of his pranks. His mother, Molly, was not for it -- she often gave her sons a solid tongue lashing, but it clearly never made an impact, for each and every day they were back to their normal mischief, seeking out ways to make you shake with anger.

“Weasley!” you squeaked as he and his brother ran back across the field toward their home. You loathed the idea of being in the same school as him in just two years time. At least here, at home, you could escape to your own house and your own room, far away from the boy who teasingly threw a red paint balloon all over you and your new dress. But at school, well -- the castle was only so big, wasn’t it? You weren’t sure how far away from him you’d be able to get.

You watched as he and Fred ran away, their giggles echoing through the air on top of the hill. You looked down at your ruined dress and screamed. You reckoned you’d never be able to love the colour red ever again -- not when it had ruined your beautiful purple dress, and especially when it was the colour of his annoying, messy hair.

Yellow

“I’m really sorry.”

He was standing across from you in the field. You thought about telling him that you needed to take four showers in order to get all of the red paint from your hair, and that your dress was permanently stained, but instead you folded your arms across your chest and huffed a bit. Not even magic could salvage it.

“I promise, I mean it,” he squeaked, as if he could read your mind. He seemed sincere, but he was always getting into all types of trouble, wasn’t he? Perhaps he was as good a liar as he was a pranker.

You kicked at the dirt, unsure of what to say. “You ruined my dress.”

“I know, I’m really sorry,” he said again, “it was all Freddie’s doing! I know he normally takes charge of pranks, but blimey, I told him it wasn’t a good idea.”

You arched your eyebrows up in surprise. “You did?”

“Yeah,” George told you. The wind ruffled the leaves on the tree next to you both, and you watched him tentatively as a big smile split his face. He wandered over to the tree trunk and picked at the flowers that were growing at the base. Then he turned around, marched right over to you, and handed them to you.

Yellow dandelions. You peered down at them, and then looked up at him in surprise. This wouldn’t fix your dress, but he was trying, at least. You noticed the dimples that appeared on his cheeks when he smiled. “Pretty flowers for a pretty girl.”

You couldn’t help it; you blushed and looked toward the ground. You picked a bit at the flowers and met George’s gaze once again. “You still owe me, Weasley.”

You both heard Molly calling him for dinner. “Okay, mum!” he called back, his voice echoing against the wind. He turned back toward you. “Promise. I owe you. I also promise to kick Fred’s arse since it was his idea anyway.”

A squeak of a giggle emitted from your lips and you watched as George Weasley skipped all the way home.

Blue

All of Ravenclaw house erupted into cheers as the colours of the Great Hall changed to celebrate the momentous occasion of your house winning the Quidditch Cup. It had been a neck to neck match against Gryffindor, but had you not caught the snitch before Harry, they would have had it in the bag for the third year in a row.

“At the risk of sounding like I’m pro Ravenclaw, I’ve got to say, you guys put up a great match,” you whirled around in the crowd and saw George standing in front of you. He had his hands in his pockets and he shrugged, clearly upset at a Gryffindor loss, but at least they hadn’t lost to Slytherin, right? “You really are a wicked Seeker.”

“Thanks, Weasley,” you said triumphantly, both pleased with yourself for winning but also feeling a little bit guilty for beating Gryffindor.

“When did you get so good anyway?”

“Hmm,” you placed your hand to your chin and pretended to be deep in thought, “do you mean, how did I get to be so incredible? I don’t have an answer for you, truthfully, reckon I was just born with it.”

Students filtered around you both, and you watched him laugh as blue confetti fell around the both of you and the rest of the Great Hall. Personally you thought it was a little much, but the captain had insisted. You met George’s gaze again though, and rolled your eyes.

“Oi, mate,” you heard Fred call. He reached his twin and threw an arm around his shoulders, “what’re you doing over here, conversing with the enemy?” You rolled your eyes yet again, something you found yourself doing quite often with the two of them, and Fred just grinned obnoxiously at you. “Only joking, Y/N. I suppose if anyone had to beat us, we’re glad it’s Ravenclaw. But if you repeat that, we’ll deny it, I swear to Merlin.”

“My lips are sealed, Freddie.”

You bid them both adieu before turning back to your house, celebrating and clinking your goblets of pumpkin juice together, and through the yelps and the cheers, you missed George say to Fred that he actually quite liked the way the Great Hall looked, all decorated in blue.

Orange

“How about you get to work on the ground Unicorn horn, and I’ll try and get this water crystalized?” you offered.

Today’s lesson was to brew the Oculus Potion, in the event any of you ever needed to restore someone’s sight. In an attempt to separate them, Snape had paired George with you and Fred with another Ravenclaw who didn’t look happy at all at the prospect of having him as her partner. You peered over the cauldron at George and said, “No worries. We’ve only got thirteen steps. I reckon if we keep at this without any distractions, we’ll be finished before the rest of class.”

“Better get cracking, then,” George replied.

The two of you worked in comfortable silence; you tensed a few times when Snape meandered by your table, peering down into your cauldron and scoffing, for you were certain that an attempt at any type of potion would never live up to his unrealistic expectations of two sixteen-year-olds.

A little while later, you realized that the heat emitting from all of the cauldrons was making the entire classroom incredibly warm. “Blimey, could he open a bloody window, or something?” you asked, ignoring the fact that there were absolutely no windows in the dungeons. George laughed and continued to add the crystalized water into your cauldron as you pulled your sweater over your head, leaving you in your white button down and blue and grey tie. You pulled your hair back off of your neck and said, “Alright, be sure to only add the water until it turns indigo, George.”

The poor lad hadn’t been paying attention, because your potion was far past indigo at this point. In fact, it looked as though it had turned a deep, navy blue, bordering on black, as George peered at you with soft eyes and continued to pour in the crystalized water, not realizing that he was messing up your carefully brewed potion. A snapping noise pulled him from his thoughts, and a slight explosion erupted from your cauldron and caused black smoke to cover George’s face and hair.

Most of the class began to laugh, but Snape angrily shushed them and sauntered over to the two of you, clearly giddy beyond belief that he was able to deduct points from both of your houses for causing such a ruckus in his precious dungeons. George wiped a bit of the soot from his forehead as you poured in the antidote and giggled.

“Merlin, I’m sorry -- didn’t mean to get points taken from your house.”

“Eh, it was bound to happen sooner or later.. don’t worry about it. Look! Good as new,” you clapped your hands together as the potion turned to the desired shade of orange before the final two steps. You met George’s look through the orange haze over your cauldron and asked him, “What had you so distracted anyway, Weasley?”

“Oh, erm -- nothing,” he replied a bit quickly. It didn’t go unnoticed how he’d stumbled over his words and immediately went back to looking rather intently at the directions. You bit back a smile and looked back down at yours too, unable to rid yourself of the nerves bubbling up inside of you as George looked up once again, stealing glances at you through the orange mist as nerves overtook him, too.

Green

“You had no right to do that! What the bloody hell were you thinking?”

George was standing across from you on the empty dance floor; the Yule Ball had ended abruptly and each and every student had filtered from the Great Hall and back to their respective dormitories, per the teachers. The two of you had managed to stay somehow, now more than ten feet away; you looked at one another with envy as a dramatic scene unfurled between you both.

The entire night had been nothing but a dream, up until that one dance. You’d waltzed in, your light green dress swaying beautifully near your ankles, your hand wrapped around your date’s arm. You waved to your friends, who stood with their respective dates as well, and promised yourself you’d catch up with them at the end of the night when you’d undoubtedly have stories to tell them of the most magical evening of your life.

Except that wasn’t how it worked out, had it?

“He was all over you!” George called, and you noticed how prominent the veins in his hands were when he threw them up in the air. “You said no, didn’t you? He asked you to come back to his dorm and you’d said no. Did you expect me to stand there and do nothing when he grabbed your wrists and tried to pull you there?”

George was right. You had said no, and truthfully, the way your date had grabbed you and attempted to drag you back to his room had really frightened you. You reckoned it was the firewhisky he’d drunk earlier that evening -- he wasn’t violent or anything, but he seemed desperate to get you there. All George had done was step in and stand up for you, so why on earth should you be angry at him?

You didn’t want to give George the satisfaction of letting him know that he was right. You were mad at him for other reasons, anyway. It should’ve been you that he asked to the ball, not that other disturbingly annoying Beauxbatons girl. It’s like he’d picked her particularly because he knew her annoying, bubbly personality and thick French accent would get right under your skin.

You softened a bit as you took a deep breath. “I appreciate what you did, George, but it wasn’t your place. I can take care of myself. He nearly knocked you right out!”

George winced at your words and brought a hand to his black and blue eye. He hadn’t even had the time to grab some ice and place it to the injury, and it was now rather swollen. “I don’t care if he knocked me to the bloody ground, I wasn’t going to let him do that to you!”

You couldn’t help it; anger took you over and you were saying things you shouldn’t have before you could second guess yourself. “Well you know what, George? Perhaps he wouldn’t have had the chance to try anything with me if you’d just bloody asked me to the ball first instead of that stuffy Beauxbatons girl!”

You knew your words hurt him, but you didn’t care. He looked as though he’d gotten the wind knocked out of him; he stepped backward and faltered a bit. His breathing became heavy and irregular. “You already had your date when I asked her, Y/N -- don’t you dare try and pin this on me.”

He was right, yet again. You couldn’t help it. Big, fat tears were falling down your face now and you reckoned you wouldn’t be able to salvage the rest of the hideousness that was this evening. You wiped your tears with the back of your hand and noticed the smears of black mascara and eyeliner on your skin. He inched forward now and opened his arms, but you backed away, still not ready to show him any affection.

You were being a git, but the truth was, you’d waited until the very last possible second for George to ask you to the ball. So when he didn’t, you begrudgingly agreed to the Hufflepuff who’d stepped forward and asked you himself. And as you walked swiftly passed George and up the steps to your common room, you realized that though you’d said yes, your heart had been with the Weasley boy you so adored the entire evening.

In truth, what he’d done was brave and full of love and passion. But you were still filled with hurt.

The green monster of jealousy that you’d felt when you’d watched him dance with his date was such a vice, but you just couldn’t help how you felt.

You left George alone in the desolate Great Hall as he let his head fall into his hands, pushing down his fury and tears.

Grey

You hadn’t gone back to him, that boy from the Yule Ball. You thought about it, but you figured you’d spare George more anger.

He’d approached you, your date, the day afterwards, apologizing profusely for his behaviour and how embarrassed he was at the whole ordeal. He’d asked you for lunch, only if you were okay, and you politely declined. “Friends,” you’d said, and he smiled pitifully, but gratefully, and took your hand in his to shake it.

It was so stupid, wasn’t it? Fighting with George over this. So he hadn’t asked you to the Yule Ball, so what? It wasn’t the end all, be all, was it? And he’d stood up for you, hadn’t he? When things had gotten a little out of control. He hadn’t been your date, but he had been your saviour.

It had only been a week since the dance and you two hadn’t said a word to one another. Fred had begged you too. “Come on, Y/N, you know he’s real sorry. Can’t you just forgive him? Blimey, it’s a right difficult thing to do, splitting my time between you both.”

You merely pressed your lips together and huffed. “He can come apologize to me himself, Fred. He doesn’t need you to do it for him.”

But later that afternoon, you figured, why wait? This whole thing was so dramatic and stupid. And so after rereading the same page eight times due to your lack of concentration, you jumped up from your chair in the Ravenclaw common room and made way toward the Great Hall, as fast as your legs could carry you. You were just going to tell him exactly that -- that this entire thing was dumb, and that you were thankful for him, and that bloody hell, you missed him. Perhaps it was a bit dramatic -- it had only been six days, right? You couldn’t help it. You missed him. You missed him a lot.

The thought of finally speaking to him after a very dramatic week apart made your heart flutter, and a very wide smile split your face just as you were about to round the last bend before the Great Hall.

And then you saw it. Them. Tucked away in a corner near a deserted classroom -- tangled together, George’s hands on her waist, hers in his long red hair. Her lips nearly on his. Smiling, giggling. Kissing him.

That bloody annoying Beauxbatons girl.

You stopped short and nearly tripped over your own two feet. You opened your mouth to speak but just let your mouth tremble in silence as you watched them snog one another. Her laugh was so painfully sugary sweet, you felt as though you’d like to rip your own hair out.

You were surprised how quickly the sight of them had sent your heart plummeting into your stomach. Somewhere in the few moments when you stood there in shock, your vision had become blurry and your face had become wet. You wiped at it with your sweater sleeve and sniffled quietly so they wouldn’t hear you. You spun on your heel and sped back toward your common room, wondering what the bloody hell had come over you when you thought of apologizing to him. You just wanted to get back to your dorm. Or perhaps back to your house in Ottery St. Catchpole. Stupid, silly girl you were.

If only you knew that George had spotted you before you’d left and froze solid in the spot he was standing, ignoring the forwardness of the Beauxbatons girl attached to his arm, his heart and mind chasing you all the way home.

Purple

The Ravenclaw common room was completely empty except for you. You always did this, though -- each and every year, you were always the last to finish packing. Not because you were a procrastinator, but because you hated admitting to yourself that another year was over, and you were another year closer to impending graduation.

Someone popped through the door and said your name softly. You turned and saw George standing there with a small smile on his face. “Hey,” he said, “train’s here. You almost ready to go?”

You groaned and looked back down at your trunk, now fully packed. “If I’ve got to be.” You felt like an absolute idiot that those few words brought tears to your eyes so easily. “Oi, here I go again.”

George laughed lightly and pulled you into a hug. “We’ll be back in no time, you’ll see again how quickly the summer holidays go.”

“But George, it’s our last year!” you cried. And then you took a deep breath to calm yourself down, because you didn’t fancy the idea of boarding the train with smudged makeup and a red nose. “Anyway, shall we?”

When you grabbed your trunk and headed toward the door, George gently took your hand in his and turned you around. “I’ve got something for you actually.”

You wiggled your eyebrows at him and clapped your hands together. “A present? It’s not even my birthday.”

But then you wondered if it was actually a present he wanted to give you, because he took your other hand in his and squeezed them, a serious look on his face. Your features twisted into that of confusion, and you’d be lying if you said that your heartbeat didn’t increase at the sight of him looking at you so earnestly. “What is it?”

“I’ve been a real git this year. Specifically, the Yule Ball. And a little while after that.”

You laughed and playfully shoved him. Though you still felt the sting of those few weeks, you two had managed to patch things up. He hadn’t lasted that long with that Beauxbatons girl anyway. “George, we’ve been over this, c’mon -- you were only doing what you thought was right. I’ve forgiven you, you know.”

“I know,” he smiled, and you could tell that he was equally as glad as you were that you two had placed that argument behind you. But what you two hadn’t touched on since then was what you’d said to him in a fit of fury: Perhaps he wouldn’t have had the chance to try anything with me if you’d just bloody asked me to the ball first instead of that stuffy Beauxbatons girl!

Of course he’d wanted to ask you. He’d wanted to ask you more than anything in the entire world, but each and every time he’d opened his mouth to say something, he couldn’t. Bloody nerves, and all that. Then he went and acted like a prat, making you cry, and he vowed to himself that he’d never make you cry again, unless it were happy tears.

“I realized I’ve never properly made it up to you -- not asking you to the the Yule Ball in the first place, and that time when we were nine.”

You raised your eyebrows suspiciously. “When we were nine? What the bloody hell happened when we were nine?”

And then he pulled from his pocket the most beautiful lavender pendant you ever did see. The circular stone was outlined in the same silver as the chain, and the sun flooding in from the windows made it sparkle more than anything you’d ever seen in your life. Your breath caught in your throat and you looked back and forth from the necklace to George, and back again.

“I ruined your purple dress, remember?” he asked you. He laughed a bit, probably thinking about the ridiculous way you’d looked with red paint splattered all over you. You couldn’t believe he remembered that. “Now, it’s not a dress, but seeing as we’ve grown up a bit since then, I reckoned you’d prefer something a little nicer.” He swallowed over a lump in his throat before continuing. “I never fancied her, you know. That girl from Beauxbatons. I just...” he trailed off, searching for words he couldn’t seem to muster up. You wondered if he could hear the dramatic thump of your heart, beating loudly in the heavy silence. “It doesn’t matter. It was you I wanted to be with that night, and long after. I still do.”

Then he brushed aside your hair and placed the pendant around your neck. You peered at him through blurry vision, and surprised yourself that you were now crying due to the tenderness of his touch and the emotion in his gift and not that you two were about the board the train and leave school, no longer the same two people you were just a few moments ago.

You did the only thing you could think of and you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him. You felt his shock, but it took him only mere milliseconds before he was kissing you back. In truth, you’d been wondering what it would feel like to kiss him -- the taste of him, the feel of your limbs entangled together, exactly how high your heart would soar. It was exactly the way first kisses were meant to be -- slow, and easy, and warm, the way it’s supposed to feel after having swam all day long -- your body limp and muscles de-tensing. You moulded perfectly with him, and when gravity (or rather, the first signal of the train’s departure) pulled you from one another, he peered at you with such affection that you felt as though you might explode.

You grabbed the pendant and held in gently in between your fingers, already having memorized the outline of the silver and the different shades of purple within it. “I am so bloody happy you threw red paint at me that day, Weasley.”

He laughed haughtily, throwing his head back before swinging an arm around your waist and pulling your trunk toward the exit of the Ravenclaw common room. “Merlin, me too.”

White

You were sitting at your kitchen table, ignoring the massive amount of work in front of you to admire your other hard work. Your cozy little flat looked just as you always imagined it would, with the added bonus of your boyfriend in the corner of the front entrance, fixing a loose coat hanger on the wall.

Never in your life did you imagine that things could be as perfect as this.

You couldn’t help but wonder if it would be a flat you two would share one day.

You got up and brought with you his half empty glass of wine and handed it to him. Gratefully he took it and sipped before pressing a feather light kiss to your forehead. But then you gently traced his jawline with your finger, down his neck, across his collar bone until he followed your move and leaned in to kiss you. It was soft and chaste and everything like your first one had been. But as the alcohol worked its way through your veins, you found yourself pressing yourself harder against him.

A moan of content escaped him as you bit down on his lip and slipped your hands underneath his shirt, hands pressed against his chest. Unashamedly, you pulled him toward your bedroom, and he placed his empty wine glass next to yours on the table as he kicked the door closed.

The two of you fell backwards onto the bed in an entanglement of limbs. He hovered above you, dropping down a bit to press light kisses to your neck, in between your collarbones, behind your ears, against your jawline. You so desperately wanted to feel his weight on top of you, and so you yanked him firmly against you and kissed him in a way that there was no aching way that he wouldn’t be able to tell exactly what you wanted.

He began to undo the buttons on your shirt, taking time to press kisses into your chest at the exposed places before he stopped himself and gently ran his hands across your hips, and then your cheek. His voice was merely a whisper in the deafening silence, “Are you sure?”

He gazed at you with such tenderness and love that you knew he’d stop, if you’d asked him to. He wouldn’t go another inch further if you weren’t ready. And for you, that was more than enough.

“I’m sure.”

He sucked in a breath and dipped down to press lips to yours gently before continuing to make light work of your clothes. He explored every inch of you, and the sensation of his lips gently grazing your skin caused you to arch your back in pleasure. You could feel him smiling against you, wildly in love, handling you with such care as if you were a tiny glass figure he was afraid of breaking. He held you so delicately and worked his way through each and every single one of your wants with slow and gentle hands.

You’d known it was love with him; maybe not consciously, but you’d known it long before now. Love, filled with intensity and desire and longing, in its most vulnerable and fragile form -- pure, and blinding white.

Pink

The summer air wafted in through the open window in the kitchen, and you listened to Mrs. Weasley hum some Muggle song as she set the table for dessert. You placed the finishing touches on the lemon meringue pie you baked, special because it was George’s favourite and Mrs. Weasley had insisted.

You had to admit, he’d always had the outside exterior of a tough guy, but owning a business did absolute wonders for his confidence. You noticed the way he stood up a little straighter, smiled a little bigger, and most of all, just how much he gushed about all the plans you two would be able to act on, now that you were both making income of your own.

“Merlin’s beard, Y/N, you’ve absolutely knocked it out of the park with this pie, if I do say so myself.” Arthur’s praise was nothing short of wonderful; you felt the tips of your ears turn pink at his compliments. By the way Ron slouched back in his chair, looking rather chuffed indeed, you could tell he felt the same exact way. Especially when he reached for the last piece, but Hermione slapped his hand away.

“Oh my!” Molly yelped suddenly. You jumped in surprise in your seat. “Oh, Georgie dear, would you mind wandering into the field before dark? I’d love some wildflowers for the table,”

“Sure thing, mum.” George replied before turning to you and squeezing your hand. “Want to tag along?”

You said, “Of course” at the exact same time Ron said “I’ll come along too, I could use a good walk” and if you hadn’t been so focused on George’s tender gaze, you almost would’ve missed Fred silently hissing at Ron and Hermione slapping his hand yet again. “On second thought,” Ron swallowed thickly, “I’d better stay here and help you clean up, mum.”

“Atta boy, Ronniekins,” Molly said. To you and George, she continued, “You two better get going -- not long now before it turns dark!”

George stood and pulled you to your feet. “You coming, love?”

“I go where you go.”

About twenty minutes later, as the setting sun had blended with the light purples and pinks of the sky, you’d found yourself with a rather beautiful bouquet of wildflowers for Molly. You turned to George, who was leaning against the tree and smiling at you, and asked, “Shall we get going darling? Don’t want to be too late. I reckon your mum will come out here searching for us if we spend an evening among the stars.”

“Doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea, actually.” His grin deepened, and then he said, “you’re lucky I don’t have any pranks up my sleeve right now.”

You look up at the tree and recognized the place where he’d infuriated you all those long years ago. You rolled your eyes and shook your head before twirling in your dress. “I am lucky. I was able to get a new dress after the one you so lovingly ruined. Though I will admit -- I wasn’t all that big of a fan of those puffy sleeves. This one’s much more adult.”

George arched his eyebrow in surprise before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close. “Oh yes it is.”

You slapped him playfully and pointed your finger at him. “Alright you prat, calm yourself, you’ll have to wait until we get back to our flat for any funny business.”

But then you realized, as George’s features turned from mischievous to genuine within the matter of seconds, that there was definitely more pressing matters than funny business on his mind.

And then he was telling you how he’d only teased you back then because he’d found you so bloody cute, and how he should’ve asked you to the Yule Ball and regretted every single day that he didn’t, and how he’d never met anyone who could play Quidditch quite as well as you, and how bloody happy he’d been when you’d kissed him that day in the Ravenclaw common room. And then knelt down and he asked it, the words you’d imagined since you were a little girl, strung together with such fondness and emotion and tenderness that you weren’t quite sure how you were standing upright.

You’d already begun to nod quickly through your tears before he finished, but would he really be George Weasley if he didn’t tease you, just a little? “Say yes,” he laughed, “say yes and marry me and be my wife for as long as you’ll have me.”

He slid the ring onto your finger and kissed you and picked you up and whirled you around in the field and held you gently in his arms as though you were a precious glass figurine and he was doing everything in his power to hold you delicately.

“Yes. I say yes.”

Black & White

You asked, When did you first know?

And he answered, I always knew.

You both ran back up the aisle, your white dress fluttering around your ankles, his black suit hugging the curves of his arms, and into the field and away from the party, momentarily, to celebrate your first moments as husband and wife in the place where he’d figured it all out.

He’d known since that afternoon when he’d handed you those yellow dandelions that he would bring you back here one day, to ask you to be his wife. He’d known, in the Ravenclaw common room when he gave you that purple pendant, still dangling from your neck, that one day he’d also give you a ring. He’d known, all those long years ago, that he wanted to marry you, and that you would say yes, when he’d finally ask.

And now, in front of your friends and family, he’d vowed to love you -- love in it’s purest and simplest form, love -- with all it’s sentiment and emotion and vulnerability. He vowed to love you and only you for the rest of his life.

tag list: @mintlibri @georgeweasleyx @seppys-return-to-madness @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @darling-details @laneygthememequeen @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @waschbiber @acciotwinz @feffffffy @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @thoseofgreatambition @harrysweasleys @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @letsfightsomeorcs @theweasleysredhair @purpleskiesstorm @hxfflxpxffs @wand3ringr0s3 @finecole @angelinathebook @highly-acidic @purplefragile @90shermione @zreads @susceptible-but-siriusexual @hollands-weasley @andromedaa-tonks @bbstrawberry0421 @princessof-theuniverse @cappsikle @mytreec @imseeinggred @idont-knowrn @flyingserpxnt @auroraboringalis57 @godricsswords @jejegu @annasofiaearlobe @starlightweasley @alwaysasadaesthetic @thisismysketchbook @izzytheninja @imboredandneedalife @hemmoporro @valwritesx @heavenlymidnight @hannolannno @msmimimerton @oh-for-merlins-sake @hufflepuff5972 @pigwidgexn @sarcasticallywitty15 @breadqueen95 @mycupoffanfictionreads | message me to be added or removed!

#george weasley #fred weasley #fred and george weasley #weasley twins #george weasley reader insert #george weasley x reader #george weasley x you #george weasley fanfic #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley imagine #george weasley imagines #weasley twins fanfic #weasley twins fanfiction #weasley twins imagine #weasley twins imagines #hp fanfic #hp fanfiction #hp imagines

625 notes · View notes

atalho-s · 3 years

Text

pairing: tom holland x reader

warnings: none, only fluff, maybe one or two swear words?

words: 1.5 k

summary: it’s tom’s birthday and you’re nervous about the gift you have for him.

a/n: this is the first imagine i ever post here! and it’s the first time i write a story in english. So i’m sorry for any mistake.

Tom woke up to someone kissing his bare chest and he open his eyes lazily. He looked down and saw Y/n on top of him with her arms around his waist and her legs intertwined with his.

- What are you doing? - He spoke a little husky with a smile.

-Nothing... Just waking up the best boyfriend in the world...- she said kissing up his neck. -And to...-she kissed below his ear. - Thank you...- she kissed his chin. - For...- she kissed his nose. -Being born...- she kissed his cheek. - Happy Birthday! -she finally kissed his lips.

- Hmm... I wanted to have a birthday every day just to wake up like this... - he said hugging her tight. - Thank you love. - He said giving her a peck.

- You say that as if I never wake you up like this... - Y/n giggle into his lips, making him smile openly. He was about to reply with a cheeky comment but she interrupted him - Wait! - she said getting up quickly and leaving him a little confused.

- I have a few gifts to give you. - She said and ran to the closet like a crazy person.

She was wearing one of his shirts, which made him smile with himself. He loved when she wore his clothes. It looks a thousand times better on her than him. That was a fact.

She came back after after a few minutes smiling cheerfully with a box in one of her hands and the other hidden behind her back. She sat cross-legged in front of him and Tom also sat leaning his back against the pillows on the headboard.

- Darling, you didn't need to... - he said, trying to take his hair of his eyes, messing it up even more.

- Of course it needed Tommy! Now open it! - She said handing over the box and he took it from her hands looking at her.

They were already 5 years together and looking at her was like the first time. Tom was grateful to have her for so long, to have someone to rely on and talk about everything so openly, and Y/n didn't know what she had done to deserve that british boy who wasn't a boy anymore.

Tom had become a man since the first time they started dating. But still, he was the same Tom he used to be. That was what she loved most about him. He was always kind, funny, he put others first and he always wanted to make others feel happy around him. His smile and the way he tell his stories infected everyone around and she was always delighted every time he started to speak or for just simply looking at her. It was hard to believe that this amazing man, was hers.

Tom untied the box excitedly and opened it to reveal a necklace with a round-shaped pendant.

- Wow darling, this is beautiful... - he said taking the object from the box delicately.

- Open it! There's something inside. - Y/n said smiling.

Tom opened the pendant and saw It was a picture of the two of them, one of the first pictures they had taken together. It was from one of those booth photo shoots. When they went to a mutual friend's birthday party and Tom had insisted they take pictures to keep as a souvenir. So they posed and make faces and laugh the whole time. Those little moments was what defined their relationship. It was something so simple and yet so meaningful at the same time.

- This is perfect love... - he said smiling and looking into her eyes. - Come here...- He opened his arms and she snuggled into them, feeling more at home than ever. He kissed her gently on the lips and pulled her by her legs so she could sit on his lap.

After parted their kiss Y/n intertwined her fingers on his neck and stood admiring him: his little freckles, his messy hair, his nose, his lips slightly reddened, everything still seemed to be a dream.

- Why are you looking at me that much?- he asked with a playful smile. - Want to take a picture? It lasts longer... - He spoke stroking her leg lightly and she gave him a low laugh.

- A picture would be nothing compared to this work of art right in front of me. - Y/n spoke and he laughed feeling his cheeks redden. How could she still make him blush after such a long time?

- I don't deserve you darling...- he said before giving a small kiss on her neck. - Hey and what about the other box you were hiding?- he asked trying to look behind her back.

- Oh, it was nothing...- she said kissing his forehead then his lips again, trying to distract him.

- No... - he tried to speak between kisses. - Y/n...- she insisted on keeping their lips together, but he pushed her away a little, holding her shoulders gently. - I want to see It!

- You won't forget will you? - she said snorting.

- No. So you better give me that mysterious box. - he replied and she looked down a little embarrassed. - What is it darling? - he asked a little worried on his tone.

- Nothing... it's nothing important... - she said crossing her arms something she used to do when she was nervous.

- Y/n... You know you can tell me everything don't you? - He spoke caressing his fingers on her arms making her have some good shivers.

- I know Tommy... I just... I don't know, I think it's bullshit... - she replied putting her hands on his chest.

- Nothing you say is bullshit love ... You know you can talk to me about evertyhing... - he said taking her chin and lifting slightly, making her look him in the eyes. He had that power of making her melt with just one look. He could make her do anything with just those big brown eyes. Sometimes she hated being so vulnerable, bc she couldn't hide anything from him.

- Ok, but if you want to break up with me after that I'll understand...- She said looking at him directly and he raised an eyebrow.

- Now I'm more curious than ever. I could never break up with you! Only if you cheated on me with some guy that i don't know about it. - he said playfully.

- Okay smartass, close your eyes. - She said and he closed but a little suspiciously about what she would do.

- And do not open! -she said getting up from his lap and he put both of his hands in front of his face.

Y/n picked up the box that was on the floor and took a deep breath. It was now or never. She was thinking she must crazy to be doing this now and in that way. But it was what she wanted and she hoped Tom wanted it too. She knelt beside the bed, opening the small box, and cleared her throat.

- You can open it now. -she said and Tom remove his hands opening his eyes, he looked confused seeing her on his knees beside the bed and only then noticed the small box in her hands with a ring inside.

- Tom... - she began to speak nervously. - When we first met, I met one of my best friends. You are and always will be the best person to have around, after I met you I couldn't see myself without you. Everything you do, how you do it, you do it great, you radiate the brightest light... Everything you touch, you do it with gentleness, every person who has the pleasure of meeting you knows how extraordinary you are. Every second I spend with you is like a gift. I love the way you are, I love the way you talk, I love how funny you are without wanting to be, I love how good you are at everything you do, I love you so much... - she said feeling her voice trembling a little bit and he was still in shock, but after hearing her words he smiled and didn't look away from her face not even for a second.

- Thomas Stanley Holland... - she said with sigh. - Do you want to marry me?

He just stood there, speechless for a few seconds. The emotion starting to hit little by little, reaching his eyes. He hated to cry like that in front of others, but it was Y/n who was there in front of him and he never felt as comfortable with someone as he does with her.

- Tom, I... Sorry, I think it's too soon, isn't it? I shouldn't have ...- she said getting up from the floor and Tom stopped her by taking her arm.

- No Y/n, it's not that... I just... I don't know what to say... - he said and she looked him, seeing his eyes was watering.

- Tommy, are you crying? - Y/n asked sitting beside him on the bed and putting her hands on his face watching him lean into her palm.

- No of course not! - He said wiping his eyes quickly with his fingers. - I mean ... just a little bit...- he said and she smiled. - Everything you said... It was so beautiful... I love you so much Y/n!

- So do you ... - she start asking almost crying seeing how emotional he was.

- Of course I do darling! This is the best gift ever! Marry the best person in the world? Fuck yeah! - He said excitedly and she grinned. - I planned to ask you the same thing for such a long time! I’m so glad you did! -Then he pulled her into his lap again, kissing her sweet and gentle, just the way she defined him. The Tom Holland way of existing.

a/n: thank you for reading! I hope you guys like It! Also: the title has nothing to do with anything, but i love this radiohead song sm 😂 and i think It reminds me (only the title bc the song is sad as f) a good relationship, like both complete each other.

Anyway... Happy birthday to Tom! And i'm so sorry for this really cheesy imagine 😆

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tommy #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland birthday #tom holland one shot

127 notes · View notes

sailorhyunjinz · 3 years

Text

~ 𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 ~

Part I

All picture rights to their respective owners.

ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥: Photographer!hyunjin, fem!model!reader, manager!Bangchan, stylist!Jisung, agedup!straykids, SMUT IN LATER PARTS, fluff, character driven story, strangers to lovers, summer au, mentions of insecurity, love at first sight.

𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 3,5 k

ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖: I have never written a series before so please understand if it’s lacking heh... and yes the title does relate to the kooks song with the same title so do give it a listen because it’s really good and fits the story c:

also this starts slowly LMAO MORE FUN THINGS ARE COMING UP I SWEAR <33

If you have any feedback I’m more than happy to receive it! <3

Taking pictures of you - MASTERLIST

ONE｜TWO｜THREE

Working as a model was not easy. The complaining managers and the expectations by others was too much to handle. Heck, even getting to the shooting locations was a hastle most of the time.

You tilted your head against the window in the backseat of the taxi. It was a calm august wednesday. The late summer breeze made it’s way into the cab thorugh the window that was opened on the drivers side. Your phone screen lit up, multiple notification from Instagram.

“omg! slay bbygrl”

“her face is crazy pretty”

“beautiful”

You’ve heard these words too many times. If you’re told the same thing over and over again they eventually mean nothing. You scrolled through the other comments on your latest instagram post, a photo from your last photoshoot. A picture of you lying in a bed of white flowers, your skin glowing and your body covered by a white sheer dress that accentuated your neck. It’s not a bad photo but was I really worth the attention? “There are a thousands of other girls way prettier than me.” you though and with a sulken expression you watched life run by outside the window.

15 minutes later you arrived at your agency. You smiled your model smile at the taxi driver to which he smiled back and responded: “My pleasure, miss y/n”.

A big shadow was cast from the building in which the modeling agency was. The beige renaissance building was surrounded by green bushes and a black fence. The big oak entryway had golden lion knockers and an ingraved golden sign. “Eccellente Modeling Agency” it said with bold black letters, contrasting nicely with the gold plate. You rang the doorbell next to the sign and in a matter of seconds the oak gates opened with a loud creak.

“Y/n!! You look stunning as always!” said your manager Bangchan as he hugged you. The smell of his aftershave violated your olfactory sense as usual, making you scrunch your nose. He was always dressed business casual, his white polo shirt and light brown dress pants being a good example but today his poloshirt had a great amount of buttons unbuttoned.

The both of you made your way into his office. A room with a high ceiling and a chandelier worth more than your career. You sat down in the leather couch across the desk, Bangchan sitting on the other side of it.

“Give me a moment.... Just pulling up some files for the new photoshoot I’ve planned! I promise, you’re not gonna be disappointed.” he says smiling, the desktop screen reflecting in his brown eyes.

He turns his computer screen towards you. Your eyes scan the pictures that pop up.

“May I present to you the profile of Hwang Hyunjin. One of the most renowned photographers of this age”. Bangchan looks at you, reading your expression.

The pictures are truly beautiful. Everything, from the outfits to the lightning was perfect.

“Bangchan, you’re insane” you say, smiling widely as you made eye contact with the dark haired manager. “These pictures are so stunning!” you squeal. “How did you even get in contact with him?”

“Nothing for you to worry about y/n, I have my contacts. I’m a manager after all”. He scoffs whilst scrolling through the profile. The next picture getting better than the previous one.

“So... when is the shoot and what concept have you planned?” you say whilst your eyes are glued to the computer screen.

“Mr, Hwang works for a multitude of companies but Styliz needed a model for their new pastel collection which I immedietly snatched onto. We all know how beautiful you look in pastels y/n” he said attentively to which you smiled, adoring the interest he has for his work.

“Oh.. I also cheked your schedule and you seem free tomorrow so how about then?” he added.

“Yes! I’d love too” you said with a small nod.

“Not that you have much choice, Mr Hwang’s time is worth gold y/n” he laughed and reached for something in his cabinet drawers.

“Here, take this” he said while sliding over a light grey business card.

‘Hwang Hyunjin, Photographer’ was written in dark grey letters. A black border decorating the edges of the card.

♡

The morning sun shined thorugh the curtains blinding you temporarily. You felt after your phone on the nightstand with you hand, your eyes still closed. ‘8:05 am’ the screen showed against the background picture of your family.

You missed them, moving to a different city across the country at the young age of 18 was scary. You’ve aged, that’s for sure but you still missed them dearly. Dragging your lifeless body to the shower you hope for a day with happiness whilst the warm water hits your bare skin. It was a big day after all. A photoshoot with photographer Hwang Hyunjin. “Me... on Hyunjins work? It must be a dream...” you thought, grabbing the towel hanging on the cold, silver rack.

You dryed off your thick hair with a light pink towel with one hand whilst the other hand held your phone. “I have to look at his photos again” you thought, tapping on the Instagram icon and typing “Hwang Hyunjin” in the search bar, hoping and praying that his work was published on the social media platform.

“@ photographerHwang” was the first result to pop up and you tapped it instantly being just as surprised as you were yesterday of the beauty that his photos carried. Bumping into the table on your way to the kitchen you noticed a different photo on his feed. It didn’t look like any of the other photos because it was a selfie. You dropped your towel on the floor. No... it can’t be him... or could it?

His face looked like a work of art. Not only was the photo nicely edited with warm light emitting from your screen but the person was even more eyecatching. “It’s probably one of his models” you though as you placed your phone on the kitchen counter and grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge.

But what if it’s really him?

♡

You threw on a grey hoodie and biker shorts before you flew out to the taxi waiting for you outside the apartment.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting sir! Here!” you said while panting, quickly pulling up a text message you got from Bangchan sharing the location of the photoshoot.

“Please, Miss y/n! No need to apologize” laughed the middle aged taxi driver softly. You were now on your way to the shoot.

Your brain was scattered. One part of you hoped that Mr Hwang really was the boy you saw on his instagram. His long, blond locks slightly covering his sharp jaw. His skin clear as day and rosy lips plump like two rose petals. The other part shut everything down, convinced that it’s one of his models that happened to be to your liking.

You opened his instagram page again.

“He must be famous for his perfect features...” you said under your breath, staring at his lips.

The whole taxi ride was filled with thoughts of him, whoever he was.

“Soon there miss y/n” the taxi driver said after 10 minutes of driving. The taxi slowed down and looking outside the window you saw Bangchan standing infront of a building that looked similar to the agency building. You waved slightly and he waved back at you.

You turned around to the driver and said; “Thank you so much sir”, giving him a generous tip and exiting the vehicle. A warm breeze latches on to you, making your hair flutter in the motions of the wind.

“Y/n! Perfectly on time” Bangchan said and hugged you.

You hugged him back, asking him about his day so far to which he responded;

“Good but going to be even better after this legendary photoshoot is done and we have the most perfect photos taken by the most influential photographer!” he sounded like a little child in a candy shop.

Your ears heated up due to his words and you smiled slightly.

“Let’s go to the second floor and get your outfit and makeup ready. A introduction with Styliz manager won’t be needed since he already knows your delightful personality” he laughed at his corny remarks and you did the same.

“You seem even more excited than me” you remarked, pressing the elevator button.

“When you see the end result you will be floored” Bangchan said and winked at you.

The elevator clanged. “Second floor”. The metal doors slided open. The eyes of a dozen stylists and makeup artists caught onto you. A slightly potbellied man in a navy colored suit approached you.

“Y/n! I’m so happy to see work with you again.” His voice was hoarse due to his age but his personality being the total opposite. You knew him well since Styliz’s chief was one of the first to offer you a modeling job in a foreign city, you only being a teenager with a big dreams at the time.

“Mr. Styliz! It’s lovely to meet you again” you smiled and sat down in a makeup chair, a girl with blond hair and big hoop earrings starting to brush powder across your nose. You saw Bangchans figure leave behind a door in the reflection of the mirror.

“Mr. Styliz, might I ask you a question?” You regretted the words as soon as the came out of your mouth. You didn’t need more information about the mysterious boy you saw on Hwang’s instagram page but you simply had to know who is was.

“Well of course y/n” said Mr. Styliz, his warm breath touched your cheek as he stood right by your side, smelling of morning coffee and looking at you through the mirror.

“Could I please get more information about Mr.Hwang?” you said, making eye contact with the old man.

“y/n, you’ll meet him soon! Then you can ask him how much you would like about his life but I must warn you... He is quite the secretive type”. The coffee breath was accentuated as he laughed.

You tried to play along, laughing a fake laugh as the hair designer started to brush out your locks. A wave of embarrassment washed through you.

The lights of the makeup mirror were getting hot, tiny sweat drops beading on your forehead which the makeup artist wiped off.

“We are done, Miss y/n” said the makeup artist, her earrings reflecting the light in the studio. You thanked her and saw Bangchan standing at the door where the cameras were.

“y/n, not much time left. Please go down the hallway and into the second door on your left, the stylist is in there fixing your outfit”. One reason as to why you loved Bangchan as your manager was his calm temper. Even in a time crunch, he always made sure to talk to you in a serene tone. After years in the modeling industry you still couldn’t get used to the ill-tempered staff. Too many times you had been forcefully dragged down corridors and streets whilst they muttered swear words at you. Even thinking about it sends shivers down your spine.

Your shoes tapped the white linoleum as you made your way down the narrow hallway, knocking on the second door to your left just as Bangchan said.

A familiar voice said; “Come in!” to which you turned the golden doorknob on the white wooden door. The tall figure was rummaging in a big plastic container filled with clothes but upon your arrival the figure greeted you with warm eyes.

“No way!! It’s y/n!” screeched Jisung. He pulled you in to a hug, his belt buckle hit your stomach through the grey hoodie.

Jisung was a stylist and worked closely with Mr. Styliz therefore you’d gotten close to him. Not only did you like him for his exquisite fashion sense which had a whole different concept each time you saw him but also for his friendliness, always being polite.

“I’ve missed you so much Jisungie” you said with a pout.

“I though it was onesided but I guess not haha”

“Don’t be silly! How could I not miss that smile of your Sungie?” you hit him playfully on the arm to which he blushed.

“Go behind that and I’ll throw some clothes for you.” he pointed at the wooden divider standing in the corner of the white room filled with clothes racks and colorful clothing.

You started undressing behind the divider and suddenly a pile of clothing was thrown on your head over the divider. You heard Jisung snicker at the yelp that came out of your mouth as you drowned in the clothes

“Jisung, you are so dead when I’m done” you said whilst putting on the last details to the outfit.

“I’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry” he said pleadingly while laughing hysterically.

You stood on the podium infront of the full lenght mirrors in the room as Jisung observed you and pinned the clothes slightly.

“Not gonna lie, it’s looks really good on you. The pastels matches perfectly with your skintone.” Jisung looked on the pleaded white skirt you had on.

You looked in the mirror and shook your head in agreement. The pastel purple sweater with the white collar poking out made you look youthful and innocent. You had on patent mary jane shoes in the same purple color as your sweater. The white kneesocks were slipping down as you moved slightly, almost looking like a school girl as you bend down to lift the socks up.

“Do you like it?” Jisung looked at you through the reflection on the mirror, standing on the floor making him a head shorter than you.

“Yea! You’ve never given me a bad outfit Sungie, they’re always adorable. My favorite stylist but don’t tell that to Bangchan” you smirked to which Jisung laughed.

♡

“y/n, Jisung did a great job! You fit the concept to a tee” Bangchan stood infront of two wide dark green doors which led to the photostudio. He smiled shyly and pushed the doors open, a bright white light blinding you as you stepped in.

You squinted and held your hand infront of your eyes as you entered the studio, the air stuffy from all the white boxlights that have been working for a while.

“Miss y/n is here now, Mr. Hwang” Bangchan announced.

Your eyes felt blurry and the lights created a bokeh effect, your vision feeling like a filter. The first thing you saw was him. Hwang Hyunjin.

The shock froze your feet in one position. It was him. The selfie was Hyunjin. And he was hotter in real life.

A tall, slender figure stood on one foot, the other one behind his leg with the tip of the shoe pointing towards the floor.

“Are you ready, miss y/l/n?”.

His voice was sweeter than honeysuckle, you melted upon hearing him speak. Bangchan looked at you confused when you didn’t move, just observing the presence of the blonde boy infront of you.

“y/n?” Bangchan had a worried expression on his face as your face broke out in a massive blush.

“yeah..uh-mm..yes” you only managed to get that out before you were infront of the camera.

His willowy fingers wrapped around the black Canon camera, it fit perfectly in his hands as if it was made for him. You gulped upon seeing the veins that ran up his exposed arms, the white shirt bunched up by his elbows.

“Everything good miss? You seem distant” he said in that raspy but sweet voice.

“Uhm...yeah totally..” you looked awkward with your hands by your side as you saw Bangchan observing you with a confused gaze.

“Please tilt your head to the right and stand broad with your feet” Hyunjin commanded to which you complied. The flash of the big studio lights didn’t effect you as much anymore since you were used to this but what did effect you was how concentrated Hyunjin looked. Like a true photographer. It was obvious that he enjoyed his job by the way his eyes shined when he looked at the monitor and corrected every detail. Luckily you could stare at his figure all that you wanted since it looked like you were keeping eye contact with the camera and not him. Glancing over to the left of the photographer you saw Bangchan smiling his bright smile, signaling that he’s proud over you.

Flash

And another flash before Hyunjin looked at the monitor displaying the photos he just took, a smirk crept onto his face.

“Good job y/l/n. Could you please grab that chair over there and sit on the edge of it?” he said whilst pointing towards a small wooden stool. Reacting instantly to his soft voice and gestures you pulled the stool towards the x on the ground, making sure you were in frame.

“One leg over the other” Hyunjin said without even looking towards you, his pale veiny hands were now twisting and turning some buttons on both the camera and monitor. You shook your head up and down slightly in agreement before doing as told and as Hyunjin turned back his chocolatey brown eyes landed on yours. Now it was impossible to hide your burning cheeks, Hyunjin noticed since he laughed stiffly before grabbing the camera off the camera stand and going down on one knee to capture an angle from below. Numerous amounts of sparks from the big box lights were emitted and after every spark Hyunjin turned around to the screen which displayed your figure. Staring at him you smiled slowly, feeling your heart beat faster. Why do I feel like this by just looking at him? Your head was clouded with millions of other thoughts. Just as you started tuning out the room Hyunjin clapped his hands hard, the sound ringing in your ears. You jumped slightly which made Bangchan laugh.

“All done! Nice work everybody” Hyunjin announced loudly before bowing down to the other staff members in the room and to you as well. You returned his gesture by a slight bow of the head and quickly scurried of to Bangchan, your face hot.

“Are you sure you’re not ill?” Bangchan said softly before putting the back of his hand towards your forehead. Shaking your head from side to side you pushed his hand away.

“No, I’m fine... just so hot with the box lights you know?” you laughed fumblingly, not knowing where to rest your gaze.

You felt someone tap you on your left shoulder and you almost fainted when you turned around. Hyunjin was standing three footsteps from you, the scent of his cologne making you swoon. He smiled as he saw your shy expression and sparkling eyes.

“I though that it must have been hot, here have this”

He casually held out a waterbottle which you received with both hands as a gesture of thankfulness.

“y/n, I’m just gonna head off to Jisung to discuss something. Meet me at the changing rooms in about 10, ok?” Bangchan said, slightly leaning towards your ear.

“Yeah, see you in 10!” you said while the managers back disappeared through the broad doors of the studio. Turning back to Hyunjin his blond locks were draped infront of his eyes and as he spoke he tucked those light pieces behind his ear, revealing his small silver hoop earrings.

“I’m gonna pack up the cords now but it was a pleasure to work with you, miss y/l/n”

The corners of your mouth went upwards at his formality.

“Please, call me y/n” you said quietly, being too shy to look him in the eyes.

“Sure, see you around y/n” Hyunjin said as he lifted up his hand to shake yours. His lanky fingers were filled with bold rings, many of which were designer. A slight panic rushed through your mind as you didn’t want to scare him away with your clammy hands. The sweaty hands and the churning of your stomach was all due to Hyunjin nearness. Hesitantly you streched the tips of your fingers against the blond haired boy and his hand emitted warmth when being met with your fingertips. He smiled before turning back, his eyes forming into half moons as charming dimples errupted on his lean cheeks.

You bowed to the other staff members on your way out of the building on your way to meet Bangchan and Jisung in the changing room. The waterbottle in your hand almost slipped as you took another clunck of the fresh water and that’s when you noticed something. Stopping in the hallway where the stylists room was located you inspected the waterbottle and saw a black marker scribble on the wrapper around the bottle. Upon removing it your heart stopped. Your knees could give up at any moment from the sheer shock. Am I losing my mind? A number was loosely doodled on the white plastic wrapper and underneath it there was a message.

Call me

// Hyunjin

𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

@vogueinnie @that-anxious-bisexual @putmetogetheragain13 @hyunsluvv @lawleighette @meow-minho @minaamhh @ohmysparkle @hwangi @rindomo @fleeingreality @nycol-ie @jisungsplatforms

247 notes · View notes