#I mean yes I love my fics and I do reread my own shit but idk it depends on the vibe!
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love🫶🏻
I’m curious to know your personal favorites! I’ll treat it as a fic-rec hehe
You are so cute! I love you! 🩵
Hm… this is a tough question cause I guess it depends on the day and what I’m feeling. I mean all my stories are honestly the same in terms of my ship being together and it ending happily, but the journey and the way I choose to tell it can differ. What exactly are quintessential lots of love fics? I guess currently I will go with these (I’m only doing Det Co ones cause I know you’re in this fandom, plus I don’t write enough for my actual otps in other fandoms)
In no particular order cause I don’t really have a true top five:
I Can Make Your Heart Race: They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so then what’s the way to a woman’s? Obviously you have to get her heart racing. In which scare tactics does little to impress a scientist, instead it backfires on the detective. Well, maybe not completely. Rated G (ShinShi)
It’s really short, but I find myself thinking about this fic some days. Maybe cause it is a fix it fic of sorts since my heart will never keep the canon ship in tact, and it’s fluffy with the potential for more. They’re my most slowburn ship and it kills me
I Hate Accidents, Except When We Went From Friends To This: Post Black Org and Permanent Antidote. A month-long look into the relationship of Shiho and Shinichi. Written with prompts from flufftober on tumblr. Rated T (ShinShi)
I was actually proud of how I was able to follow not one, not two, but 31 whole prompts! Even though every chapter is super short, but still. I’m the worst at following prompts, so I got excited I was able to get through this and keep my brand of fluff
Lo Lo Love Me: The change from fighting to be Shinichi again, to being her Edogawa. Or the fic where Shiho becomes a little delusional.
“You’re not him.”
“I am.”
“No, you’re not Edogawa Conan. You’re Kudo Shinichi.”
Rated T (CoAi but technically it’s ShinShi)
Truthfully my ending for this verse is just the first chapter, this idea wouldn’t die and I still find myself thinking about it some days. I think I ended it too soon but also don’t think I should’ve added to it beyond the first chapter. So yes I still think about revisiting it all the time
You Belong With Me?: It’s a matter of principle. She was here first and they grew up together for goodness sake! Of course people can change their minds, but she waited patiently for two years with the title as his girlfriend, so how can it be over just like that? It’s not fair. Rated T (ShinShi told from Ran’s pov)
Who would I be if I didn’t include a song fic? And yes while I love that this love affair with this fandom began with Folklore Twist, but I really do have some strong feelings for Ran. And it’s all because of projection, so yes I want better for her and I want her to be her own knight in shining armor and let my queen be the one who gets the romance story book ending for once
A Day Out With The Kids: An impromptu date holds no weight against an already established play date with the Detective Boys. It doesn’t stop Kaito from wooing Shiho anyway, even with the children’s attempts at sabotage. Converting these CoAi shippers to board the kaishi ship may not be as difficult as one might think. It’s a good thing Kaito’s great with kids. Rated G (KaiShi)
I couldn’t resist okay, yes I know my most popular fic is probably one that’s rated E or even my fuck the childhood friends to lover fic. And yeah I do sometimes go back to those verses, but some days kaishi owns my entire heart. So yeah, I had to include one even though I know it’s a crack ship
(A bonus/ honorable mention would be the Fleeting Feelings verse. I would be unstoppable as a multishipper, but alas I’m not.)
#cynful thoughts#this took me way too long to do#I mean yes I love my fics and I do reread my own shit but idk it depends on the vibe!#I’ve been so focused on commenting I have not thought about my own writing#so I’m way behind on the July prompts and other WIPs… oops
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dear fanfiction readers,
i’m putting this out here just to say that, if you are a fanfiction reader, there is some etiquette, and things to remember, and especially with the bunch of new ao3 members coming over from wattpad and not knowing what to do, this is just a basic little list of ao3 etiquette.
so yes, this mainly applies to ao3, but there is some that is notable for any fanfiction.
firstly and possibly most important, writers do this all for free. we write for our own enjoyment, and sometimes we might become disinterested in the fandom, or we might just have writers block, or maybe we need a mental health break. whatever it is, please do not demand for an update. we write for free, and we need to take breaks. don’t hold us to the same standards as you would a professional writer.
read the tags. please. that would help all of us greatly.
don’t like something? don’t read it. and if you do read it, don’t comment on it. it was most likely tagged that _____ is in this fanfiction. if you read the tags, then you will have no issue.
writers don’t know what kudos mean to you. you leaving kudos could be a “omg i adore this so much”, or it could be a “thanks for writing this :D”. the writer doesn’t know what kudos mean to you. i usually take kudos as a “this was decent ig, good job”, but some readers don’t leave kudos very easily, so it might be a “omggg i love this so much”. we don’t know that. so please, leave comments! it only take two seconds to say “i really liked this! great work!”
and also, we don’t know whether you’ve reread it. and you can’t leave kudos, so i usually assume that you just didn’t think about the fic after you read it, it just became another work that you read. so leaving a comment saying “just reread this, second kudos!” is greatly appreciated. once again, only takes two seconds!
don’t leave hate comments. this is someone’s piece of work, and they spent time and put effort into these works. just, don’t leave hate comments, or they will be deleted and you will be blocked, most likely. they’re a waste of your time, and just plain rude to the writer.
don’t give people shit for what fandom they write for. i can not say this enough. no matter what your opinions on the fandom are, just acknowledge that they find comfort/enjoyment/any other positive emotion that writers may find through writing, through that fandom.
and on that, people write for different reasons, and just make sure you respect that. i started writing bc i had an active imagination, and i loved the fandom that i was in when i was younger. now, i write as a way to vent, and deal with my emotions, and as a way of enjoyment. it’s different for everyone. respect everyone. it’s not that hard.
and to writers, i love you, and i’m proud of you. youre doing a great job, and if you’ve received any negativity bc of writing, don’t listen to them, and do what makes you happy.
reblog if you wish, and add any more points that you have if you want!
#this is inspired by the multitude of posts i’ve seen about negativity writers have recieved on tumblr and ao3 for writing and taking a break#from their writing and it was annoying me so i had to make a post about it lol#alexwrites#ao3#ao3 etiquette#archive of our own#wattpad#ff.net#fanfic#fan fiction#fanfiction#fan fic#fanfiction readers#fanfiction writers#edit: why the fuck did this suddenly blow up lmao
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thanks for the tag @amidnight--dreary!
1. How many works do you have on ao3?
Currently 46. No doubt there will be more to come, once I manage to actually finish any of my WIPs.
2. What’s your total ao3 word count?
234.084. I'm a little disappointed in myself right now.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
The bulk of my AO3 fics are for the MCU but I have moved on from that and I'm mostly writing for Peaky Blinders right now (and possibly in the future as well). I have two unfinished MCU fics that I will eventually finish, I swear. There's also a few fics written for other fandoms but it's usually single fics.
4. Top five fics by kudos
In order: The King Is Dead, Long Live The King, Winter Butterfly, A Simple Act, Early Bird, and Sleepy Head.
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes. Though I'm sure I have missed some...
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Oh, hm. I think it would be Dead Boy's Poem, which in my not so humble opinion is a great story, it's just that it ends very badly.
7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I'm sure there's a few that qualify... At the top of my head I'd pick there goes my mind racing, just because it's a story that's very dear to me and one I actually love to reread. But honestly, there's probably a few fics that qualify, A Simple Act would be one of them for example. Winter Butterfly might fall in that category once it's actually finished...
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I think I remember getting some way back when but I can't remember what it was about, not that it even matters. I do recall having a brief argument with the person, I just deleted the comment thread. Nothing since then I think... I hope it remains that way.
9. Do you write smut?
Ah, well, not really. I have tried my hand at it but it wasn't anything explicit, basically everything but, so right leading up to the steamy stuff. I felt a bit awkward writing that, so I probably stick to hinting at stuff etc. But who knows, perhaps in the future...
10. Craziest crossover?
Well, I don't think I've written crossovers. As far as crazy stories go though, it's definitely the two stories involving the Avengers and resurrected dinosaurs. (Don't ask.)
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I don't think so, which is good. Hopefully it won't ever happen.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Sadly not. I have translated my own shit though. Well, one. I wrote it in my native language and later translated it to English to post it. That's also one of the first fics I ever posted on AO3, way back in 2019.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes! Winter Butterfly is a project of the wonderful @worstloki and me, which we really have to finish at some point... I recall that we talked about it at the end of last year, and I forgot to check on the fic since then... Sorry.
14. All time favorite ship?
Ah damn. I have to say that it's probably Tofie (Tommy and Alfie from Peaky Blinders). It's the ship I write mostly for now and also the ship that kind of has stolen my heart, so to speak. I just love bisexual disaster gangsters. It used to be Frostiron. It's the one I've written most for and it still is dear to me but unfortunately it has been dethroned.
15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Oh. At the top of my head it's a fic called "When Dragons Cry", which I haven't posted and it just sits in my docs and judges me. It's Frostiron and Loki is a dragon and his egg has been stolen. There's convoluted lore to it as well.
But also a fic/series called "here I am alone between the heavens and the embers" which is about Tommy from Peaky and ghosts. Do ask me about that. Maybe if I talk about it, I will actually fucking work on it. It's so ambitious in my opinion, and I don't know if I am confident enough in my abilities to actually write it. I mean, I have started it and I do like what I've written, but damn...
There's probably more... Now I feel awful for all the abandoned projects... Anyway!
16. What are your writing strengths?
I cannot answer this because I don't know. Even if I think longer about it, I probably won't be able to come up with a satisfactory answer. It's probably something others are more capable of answering for me.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Honestly, same answer as 16. Though I guess I could say smut because it's just something I haven't practiced as much.
18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
I think it's good. Though my language knowledge is very limited. I have used some in the past but it's usually very simple phrases that even a translator cannot fuck up.
19. First fandom you wrote in?
I've had that question recently and my answer is still not any more definite. It's probably Naruto, NCIS or Warriors. Though the more I think about it, the more I believe it was Warriors. But can't remember honestly.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
There's a bunch but if I have to pick, I'm gonna pick Lest We Forget again because it's a fic I'm very, very proud of and which deserves more attention in my not so humble opinion.
Tagging some writers, hope you don't mind, also no pressure obviously... @poormeowmeowcollector @justhallucinating @rabentochter @whentommymetalfie @justrainandcoffee @andtherewerefireworks
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I was was rereading your Big Brother Merlin series, bc its my comfort fics, and I just realized something (excuse my use of capslock):
DOES THIS MEAN BALINOR IS STILL ALIVE, DOES HE GET TO MEET HIS SONS???
(Referencing This Series)
Uhhhhh I literally hadn't considered it buuuut.... sure??
Yes. Let's go with yes.
SO-
(you've prompted something Maya I hope you're happy)
-I feel like Merlin's protectiveness over Mordred gave him a lot more... confidence in his responsibilities?? Like he basically said Fuck Destiny very early on, and therefor takes everything Kilgharrah says with a pinch of salt (and that's if he doesn't ignore him entirely) which MEANS either A) he has much better control over Kilgharrah when he gets let out/escapes, and Kilgharrah doesn't burn everything to shit because he begrudgingly respects Merlin's orders, even if they aren't technically binding, or B) Kilgharrah starts to see that... maybe he's right?? Maybe destiny is a load of shit?? Because Merlin has ignored destiny at basically every step of the way, and things are going just fine?? So he just... flies away, obviously with the promise of "If everything turns out badly, like I still sort of think it will, I'll come back and destroy Camelot, but we can try it your way first.". Both of these very similar options (OR option three of Kilgharrah is still in the cave lol) mean Balinor doesn't die because they don't need to go find him. And then when everything turns out fine and magic is legalised in Camelot he emerges from his gross little hole and pokes his nose in. Shenanigans occur which probably involve Balinor blue screening because the kid in charge of magic in Camelot looks... disturbingly like him, and Hunith whooping his ass (then hugging him) when he runs back to her with his tail in between his legs. And then FURTHER blue screening because.... holy shit that IS my kid!! I have a kid!!! YaY!!!! And then a what the shit?? moment because apparently his kid has a brother that... does sort of look like him.... everyone is convinced they're like BROTHER brothers, but.... unless Hunith settled down with another bloke (which he would be heartbroken about but fully support and be happy for her) that is like... not possible.
ANYWAY, they're all introduced, Merlin is happy, Mordred is awkward, until, like Hunith had, Balinor hugs him and is like "oh my god two kids for the price of one I love this shit I'm going to teach them about dragons and stuff". I imagine Balinor and Mordred have an... odd relationship? Because they technically have nothing to do with each other, and Mordred still remembers and loves his own father, but Merlin is super attached to both of them, and so he's their common ground. Plus, as much as Merlin and Mordred are brothers, Merlin definitely took on more of a fatherly role, especially when they were younger, so it's odd for Mordred to have another ANOTHER father. Balinor is probably more like Grandpa or the fun uncle than a father. I can straight up imagine Mordred calling him gramps as a joke ONCE, but both Merlin and Balinor are like 😖😭 and it sticks. Balinor becomes Grandpa, but Hunith is still just Hunith or, occasionally, Ma, which is... odd. But every family has at least one weird little quirk and this is theirs.
~
I hope this is the sort of thing you were after!!! I love you!!!
#merthur#good mordred#big brother merlin#bbc merlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#balinor#balinor lives#kilgharrah#mordred#merlin is mordreds big brother#slash dad#hunith#dad merlin
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THIS BIT ->
"Soon enough, Scar stops counting. He stops giving tips and corrections, moving off the floor to re-engage with some conversation with Grian. Jimmy can’t hear it, and to be fair, it’s the last thing on his mind. He focuses on trying not to lead. Because of course Tango is leading, which feels awkward in Jimmy’s feet. It’s annoying how Tango hasn’t changed facial expressions once. It’s annoying that he’s so weirdly level-headed and great at this. Jimmy can’t win. "
There is still.. hostility. There is still frustration. That wasn’t going to disperse, but maybe he could indulge it. Jimmy could take part in that casual tension, for now. He deserves it, he thinks. He was about to be forced into a life of this, after all. He could be immature, just this once."
I've been meaning to reread Golden rings Soon but I saw your post and my brain exploded with the dance scene. The Jimmy in here. Mwah chefs kiss
OOOH YES THE DANCE SCENE!! oh my god, okay. so.
if i remember correctly, i believe this was a scene i'd written wayyy back before i even thought about posting this fic. and 100%, i just wanted a dance scene where they were really snarky and playful with each other.
(it has the energy of a scene from a rom-com called "The Wedding Date" where they're dancing but stomping each other's feet and quietly bickering the whole time. i'd say that's probably a direct inspiration for this scene, now that i think about it.)
also worth noting, i believe, this is the first time they've been this close in the fic. like, physical proximity-wise? do with that what you will.
i also LOVE that you mention Jimmy in this chapter, because i.. i had such a good time. there are, in blatant honesty, only a few moments where I think i actually nailed a very huffy version that falls into proper characterization and this is one of those times.
specifically "He could be immature, just this once" is a HUGELY AU-based characterization, i will say, because jimmy is like. the good prince who does what he's told and had to force his way into the light and thus that means being mature and proper and whatnot. but i just DIG this lovely little moment of the tables turning, just allowing himself to be like the more rabble rouse-y and childish type. this is also proven further in, too, because he goes with the prank idea!
also, jimmy getting partially knocked off that same 'proper' pedestal by not being able to lead the dance, by the way. he's always been taught to lead, because of course he is the prince and he has to lead but in this case, he doesn't have to. and tango won't let him. and that is VERY annoying, haha. i like to think, if this were from tango's perspective, he'd be just. very amused by how frustrated jimmy gets.
yeah, i just am very tickled by all of that, now that i'm looking back at this scene. as a whole, this chapter is just jimmy indulging his own urges to be a little chaotic shit purely out of a "might as well, who's gonna say something?" mindset. <3 and i love that for him.
i think that's kinda all i have to say about it! thank you for sending in a scene <3 i really love this part and it was fun to revisit, honestly.
#seasonal-asks#seasonal-ask-games#astrangeghost#*wheeze* sorry i really just rambled about jimmy the whole time huh#golden rings au
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Some batfam fanfic recommendations for you to enjoy-
“ or, How Tim Drake Found A Family, Became A Photojournalist, Learned To Love Coffee, and Grew Up, not necessarily in that order.
Tim Drake is thirteen, runs the famous BatWatch blog that has spiraled hilariously out of control, has absentee parents that suit his purposes just fine, is training himself to run the streets at night, and is doing absolutely peachy, thank you.
Alfred and Jason disagree, and get Dick and Bruce involved in figuring out their weird nextdoor neighbor kid’s life. Everything goes uphill from there.”
-
One my favourites, i reread this every month it’s a classic time drake centric fic in which he joins the batfam early.
I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”).
The bats have a sex pollen release form. Because of course they do.
-
Such a good, funny and goofy fic. 10/10 would recommend. The only issue with this is it isn’t long enough.
A classic of the genre, so witty in its humour- 10/10.
The morning Tim runs out of things to give, he can feel in his chest. It’s a hollowness; a feeling that if someone rapped their fist against his ribcage, he would ring like a drum. It’s a lightness; the same lightness he felt in that hot, sandy desert in Iraq when he thought he was going to die. Sometimes, everything going wrong is a comfort; at least when you hit rock bottom you know you’re done falling.
-
To heal your inner gifted burnout child.
Tim splits his pants at a charity gala. To say that he’s expecting merciless teasing from his brothers is an understatement.
What he gets is… not that?
-
This is so stupid i love it so much.
“Why not?” Jason asked, looking put out, “We stole Damian from him”
“We didn’t steal Damian”, Dick refuted, while the youngest of their family snorted, “Fool. As if grandfather wouldn’t increase security after you purloined me right under his nose”
Or, Bruce would like for one breakfast- just one, singular breakfast with his kids- to not be preceded by, filled with or result in complete and utter chaos
-
Tired single dad brucie
Tam insists Tim isn't okay, and gives him a task — to reach out for help. Tim would rather do, well, anything else. But it can’t hurt to try, right?
(Spoiler Alert: Yes, yes it can. So much. So, so much.)
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My only two tags for this was holy fucking shit and sobbing so do with that what you will
READ THE TWs PLEASE.
The pieces were starting to click into place, aligning to create a deeply disturbing picture.
“Are you seriously saying you’ll become a missing person and fake your death for this stupid homecoming plan?” Jason interrupted, his voice full of as much judgmental incredulity as possible.
The kid’s eyes skated back over to him, his face twitching into a brief frown. “What? No.” A pause. “I mean, we could do that instead, if you wanted. But to fool Batman I’d need facial reconstruction surgery and new papers and it would all have to be untraceable—,” he broke off with a scoff, shaking his head slightly.
“No, it’s just smarter and more cost-efficient to do it for real.”
Tim learns about Jason Todd's return, does some research on the Lazarus Pit, and realizes that there might be a way to solve multiple problems all at once: removing himself from the picture.
For some strange reason, the Red Hood doesn't seem keen on cooperating.
-
Imagine being so unhinged that the person hellbent on murdering you is concerned.
Jason: 🧍♂️ 🗡️
Tim: 🙄🫥
Jason: …
Unfinished fic though.
#can you tell my favourite character is tim#I think you can#can you tell i have#autistic rizz#/deep emotional problems that affect daily functioning#I didn’t think so#gifted kid burnout check#😎#fanfic rec#batfam#tim drake#bruce wayne
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can we get uhhhhhh some hibiya thoughts
yes. yes. yes. i fucking love hibiya. he's LITERALLY A LITTLE GUY when i got into kagepro he was one of my faves actually cuz he was the closest to my age at the time. i was 13… im 22 now! lol thats not weird at all *eye twitch* sry ive been weird abt the passage of time lately. erm wait this isnt my therapy session <- doesnt go to therapy
HIBIYA. LITTLE GUY. my thoughts on him………honestly, i recently reread all the novels and god his intro chapters were HARD to read. all the creepy stuff abt hiyori yknow. i was cringing so hard. i kinda wanna ignore it bc i'd rather do that with the weird bits kagepro has to offer, but not to get rid of it completely. like id take away hibiyas whole thing abt a collection of hiyori pics but still keep the aspect of him that worships her. and how that dynamic would COMPLETELY go away post str.
post str hibiya is VERY different from how he started out. i mean. 10 year old timeloop…. he hasn't grown at all mentally like he has to process all this with his 12 year old brain, but going through all he did he just kinda looks at things rly differently now. not obsessed with hiyori, for one…. and she's also different to him. their relationship changes drastically bc now they both respect each other LOL listen i know im annoying with my codependent relationship headcanons but… eyes hibiya and hiyori
these bitches are 12. spent 10 years watching each other die over and over and literally die for each other. AND THEN THEY GET EACH OTHER BACK? ERM. yeah theyre NOT letting go of each other. its not so much codependency as much as it is awful awful awful separation anxiety. god are there any fics of hibiya and hiyori going back home and having a breakdown at having to separate and go to their own houses (bc in the city they were living together so it doesnt hit that they need to separate until they go home)???
hiyori would still be kinda bitchy and bossy but definitely not horrible to hibiya. and also her attitude hits different when she's also always holding his hand and refusing to go anywhere without him and throwing tantrums when any of the dan members even imply any activity that would require to separate them. and she wouldnt rly be embarrassed abt it i think hiyori would be super open and vocal abt HIBIYA HAS TO BE WITH ME ALL THE TIME !!!!!! and hibiya isnt even flustered hes just like *NODDING NODDING NODDING* bc he's the same with her. girl… SEPARATION ANXIETY HIBIHIYO<3 mekadan so sick in the head <3 they have 78 undiagnosed mental illnesses <3
not to make it abt my future headcanons of psych major hibiya but. new generations man. hibiya is 10000% the one in the dan going like GUYS WHAT HAPPENED TO US WAS SOOOO MESSED UP and everyone's like lol yeah !!!! and he's like DONT LOL ABOUT THIS IM FUCKING SERIOUS??? especially since he's such a fucking outsider to everything like everyone else's been experiencing all these tragedies since they were born and he just kinda. had a normal life before? and like i said NEW GENERATIONS MAN THEYRE PSYCHOANALYSING THEMSELVES AND EVERYONE AROUND THEM…. the dan is so used to this shit that they kinda lmao rock and roll thru it and hibiyas like NO. NO. NO. EVERYONE. THERAPY. NOW!!!!!! it becomes his special interest he starts getting all into psychology and when he comes back to the city for his visits suddenly he's diagnosing everyone with stuff and the dans like *shaking* MAKE THE KID SHUT UP also realises he has separation anxiety with hiyori and works on it. hiyori is surprisingly the one most terrified of letting go. and like i said…. 10 year long time loop being processed in a 12/13 year old brain.. hibiya is SUPER self aware. he makes sure of it
ok and. heh. haruka. THE WHOLE HIBIYA HIYORI AND HARUKA THING COULD BE ITS OWN POST… SO… IM LEAVING IT HERE CUZ THIS IS ALREADY SUPER LONG but im just gonna say. hibiya's IN DENIAL of konoha being gone. he keeps expecting haruka to go away. hibiya THINKS he's super mature, and he is for his age bc of all this shit and his willingness to understand his problems and everyone else's. and everyone else also think he is mature, but this is just something he can't stop being a 12 year old about. his friend is gone! WHY does it have to be gone!?!? especially in an ending where hiyori is back. if she wasnt, then he'd be more accepting of the losses bc there were 2 both konoha and hiyori and like it becomes another whole thing abt letting go and mourning but if she is back…everything is supposed to be perfect!! everyone made it back!! why couldn't konoha? why does it have to be gone? its not fair! he doesnt care this haruka was the body's true owner!! konoha was his friend! it also deserved to live as much as this haruka guy!!! why is HE more important!!!?!?!?!? and he just. he's just insanely immature abt it. and he knows he is but truth is he's just really fucking sad and regretful about konoha being gone. i could also talk about hiyori and harukas feelings abt it but heheh yeah this is super long. erm. hibiyita el chiquito <3 hibiya throwing a tantrum in front of the whole dan abt how it isnt fair and how he wishes haruka would just die. LMAO. he is 12. if anyone has fic commissions open Eye eye
also erm wholesome one before i end it. he makes little miniature dolls of the whole dan<3 he's BAD at typing on his new smartphone but since he lives away hes always texting in the gc<3 he gets super into mobile games<3 amongus fan hibiya asking all his grownup friends with jobs and no time for amongus if anyone can play with him<3 they do bc theyre busy but there will always be time to amongus with friends<3
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gosh i really love your geto stuff and i'm super glad i followed you bc then you put??? the heatwave fic on my dash?? and i???
like that's IT that's the VIBE that is MY BRAND that is my absolute favorite kind of yandere/dark relationship trope ever. so many people writing yandere!geto are locked into this exact frequency and i LOVE IIIT
so much compassion and affection and understanding. geto who knows you like the back of his own hand, knows how you tick, how to get any kind of reaction he wants out of you.
does he use this for good? for evil? YES!! all the genuinely well-meant gestures still come with a dose of condescending mother-knows-best and it's WORSE because the fact that he knows you so well, can tell you what you're thinking and how you're feeling, it lends all the more credence to the idea that he really is RIGHT.
you are his obsession. his little bug trapped in a terrarium and he is just so excited to see how you'll grow. you won't outgrow him; he controls your entire world, he will become your entire world.
the best cage is one that you don't want to escape. if you're trying to leave, he's doing it wrong! and he'll fix it right away but the dark terrible foundation will still be there.
augh. absolutely delicious. it makes for so much intensity and investment from the characters. even ordinary reactions leave you at the edge of your seat because both people in the relationship are hyperfixated and overanalyzing every last gesture, and they're RIGHT to!! it really DOES mean something because the other person is crazy obsessed, too!
like your fic where the reader runs away and geto just silently takes them back and you're just waiting for the hammer to fall... waiting. and that's exactly what geto is doing to the reader in the fic. absolute PEAK fiction. love this stuff!!! every word of it!!!
OMG!!
OH SHIT!
You have absolutely no idea how I just teared up reading all that! Honestly it means so much to me. Come here, let me give you a kith, mwah, mwah 💕
I suppose the heatwave fic is Mélange? Whatever, I'm glad you liked it and I plan to write more aphrodisiac/sex pollen fics in the future because I LOVE this trope so much. You can basically give me any character and I can come up with a plot where the character gets sex pollened lmao.
(Funny thing is, I didn't really read aphrodisiac fics before I started writing Mélange, it was my best friend who told me that I kinda subverted the trope because in most cases it's the reader who's affected by some horny substance. But I'm gonna keep my fics that way because the characters I simp for are a bit repressed emotionally and it's entertaining to write them feral.)
I think I mentioned this before, but I'm not deliberately writing Geto as a yandere. It just sorta happens. I finish a fic, reread the whole thing and "whoops, he's a yandere". But Geto cares a lot about others, sorcerers in general, Gojo, Shoko, Nanami, the twins, his makeshift family, he just wants to keep them safe but the execution of that... a bit radical, a bit absolutist, let's just say it's not the healthiest. But this aspect of his personality makes it easy to write him as a yandere.
I have some other wips where I try my best to tone it down but then the reader is the obsessive one in the dynamic lol. Like in my egyptian mythology au, he's just a guy (well, a solar deity), he's just there and tries to unravel reader's conflicting love-hate feelings towards him. And the dilf!Geto fic... oh boy, reader is borderline crazy.
In fact, I love everything you mentioned and let me add, reader and Geto in Into the Void + Atonement has a very detailed lore, enough to write a whole prequel fic but instead, I use certain elements and scenes I came up with in other fics. If I would've included the whole story it just hinders the buildup, disturbs the plot etc. But I share some important details with you 💕
Ofc, the reason they know each other on such an intimate level is because well... they know each other for at least 12 years if we look at the canon events and timeline. Reader is obviously not amongst the heavy hitters, their cursed technique is basically just tracking cursed energy. They're like a walking GPS, a locator app and... idk, I think they call them sniffdogs? Scent tracking dogs? Whatever... basically just give reader any kind of residual and they can track the source of it.
You may ask... why isn't reader using their cursed technique when they try to get away from Geto in order to know his exact location? The answer is plot convenience.
I can see several instances where reader was kinda mocked by others for being useless in battle (maybe by Gojo himself because at that time he has zero social awareness) and Geto had to intervene in order to explain that such a technique is actually quite valuable because it saves a lot of time and effort to locate a curse or a curse user. But that means that the heavy hitters must keep reader safe or at least very far from the battlefield.
Reader's parents are also non-sorcerers. So they had at least one thing they can get connected over. And in both fics I refer to that reader's parents were quite abusive and neglectful. It resulted in reader being starved for connection (hence the cursed technique's nature itself), a kind of inability to trust in others, receive and accept comfort and they’re very hyperaware of their surroundings. And Geto, who cares so much about his fellow students might have tried to change their perspective or offer some comfort and reader could have noticed when he was spiraling and do the same thing for him.
And then it just makes sense for me that reader was sent to track down Geto when he massacred the village to save the twins. And in that moment, reader is just head over heels, they view this whole mass murder as a sacrifice, revenge, a pay back for all the abuse that the twins have been through and instead of despising him, they find it comforting and even just. And then just dips with him and the girls.
So I guess their relationship had a promising start, but I believe that none of the sorcerers are capable to maintain a healthy relationship and it all boils down to the "hurt people hurt people" thing. And doing this whole cult thing makes them overmystifying each other, they no longer view themselves as regular people, more like ideas, mythological characters and such. The whole setting just twists them.
I know that culturally it would be more fitting to use characters from buddhism but there’s no such yearning and glorified suffering than in christianity.
And let me tell you, I like putting Geto into situations where he must fight for control with the reader. Like even in these fics, even during the smut they just want to control the other and willing to use anything for achieving it.
Btw, sorry for all the rambling. I just love seeing people trying to interpret my works and I like sharing some hidden details so you can come here anytime if you want to talk about them or my wips 💗 Hopefully I can start working on some wips soon, but currently I have to deal with a lot of personal issues and finals and all that kinda stuff so I'm just tired all the time. Big thank u for leaving this in my inbox, hope you have a wonderful day 💗
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Hii, saw your post about dps fics being really poetically written, do you have any favourites or recommendations? Have a good day!! :D
Hi thank you for the ask!! Oh goodness my favorite dps fics…I will include in general fics that I liked, but the ones that I have placed an asterisk with are pieces that had me–for lack of a better phrase–crying, screaming, shitting on the floor from how poetic they made me feel. Which really doesn't make much sense, but when i say poetry within me i just mean this strange feeling that is difficult to describe. Also these are all anderperry because i am a basic bitch, so apologies if you were looking for any other pairs! Maybe after finals I will look into some of the other pairs and put together a list for them too :) also I tried formatting this the best I could, I typed it all out on google docs so apologies for any fuck ups.
(in no particular order)
What We Stay Alive For **** by PiscesVanity on ao3, 18/18 chaps, 66,485 words.
Summary: “Do we get second chances in this life, Todd?” Neil asks him like he expects a negative answer. Todd doesn’t give that to him.
“Yes. we do. I know it.”
“Do you?” Neil grins, playfully elbowing him. “Did you at least wait to take it? That second chance? Until the world was more peaceful? More kind?”
Ten years after the death of Neil Perry, Todd Anderson wakes up with a second chance.
My notes: This incredibly crafted piece of art was the first dead poets fic I ever read. It honestly set the bar for me, for future reads. Also i didn’t have the chance to reread this one because this baby is long as FUCK and as much as I love long fics to read, I have to study for finals today so I can’t right now. I’m like 80% sure this is the fic where they confess by the lake and say something along the lines of “if you feel something even similar to what i feel…” but again i can’t be sure. Either way all I remember is that this fic is fricken good. Just for context, this is a time-traveling fic, but the type of time travel that happens in 13-going-on-30. Todd prays for a second chance on the eve of the 10 year anniversary of Neil’s death and he wakes up in his 17 year old body, on the day that he started school at Hell-ton. I think in general I just love the dead poets fandom because it combines some of my favorite tropes in any form of reading–50s/60s time period, boarding schools, and well…being gay. It is a fix-it so there is some angst, but there is a happy ending. But it will hit hard, especially since it comes close in the end so be wary. When I first started it, I was concerned about my own interest dwindling because the fic was going to cover the entirety of the movie, and since I have issues rereading or rewatching pieces of media when I know the end or the majority of it, I didn’t know if I was going to last. But the author of this stunning work (I know it sounds cheesy BUT IT IS) crafted it in a way that didn’t leave me bored. Even though several lines were pulled from the movie due to it being a time travel fic I still felt involved and captured by the story. It was comforting at the beginning to see how Charlie and Todd took care of each other after Neil’s death, and it was also intriguing to see how Todd almost started where he left off with Neil when he went back in time. He was more open than he had been prior, but eventually had settled back into his ‘old’ personality that he had before his first encounters with the poets.
to be alone with you by wordshakers on ao3, 1/1 chaps, 3,602 words.
Summary: “Thursday evenings were, unequivocally, Neil’s favorite part of the week.
On the surface, the explanation for this was simple enough. It was his opportunity to turn his focus entirely to the topic that made him happiest: Shakespeare. He savored the time he was able to spend sitting out on the dock, overlooking the lake, reading and reciting the words he loved so much.
The other reason–perhaps the more prominent one–Neil wasn’t able to explain quite as easily. In fact, he could hardly admit it to himself. Thursday evenings…they meant being alone with Todd.
An anderperry first kiss fic, set in a near-canon universe of the film (minus the death). Fluffy mutual pining.
My notes: I can’t recall everything about this one because my mind has been scrambled the last few days, but it is fluffy, it is cute, and it has Todd and Neil practicing lines together–what more could you want?
letters to my dearest beloved ****by UniversalSatan on ao3, 4/4 chaps, 34,162 words.
Summary:
“My dearest beloved,
It is with great relief that I finally write to you. I think it doubtful for my words to ever reach your ears, but spare me this chance to lend you a piece of my thoughts–and only a piece, for I must write with caution lest I be discovered.
Neil, amidst his own internal emotional conflict, accidentally stumbles upon letters Todd had been writing in secret to an unknown recipient. Neil (an idiot) continues to intrude on Todd’s privacy by reading each new letter in secret, continuously agitating over their purpose.”
My notes: I’m not 100% sure how well this fic is known because as I stated in the post you mentioned I am extremely new to this fandom, I think I only watched the movie the Saturday before last. Let me tell you, my heart was beating all over the place during this. I cannot believe the audacity of Neil! I don’t want to spoil it because it’s literally a masterpiece, like this should be published and printed and given awards to–the letters and the imagery in them were so *shakes author like a squeaky toy* I LOVE YOUUUU RAHHHHH. Anything i have to say just will not convey how fucking amazing this fic is. Please go read it if you haven’t. And also Neil is an oblivious little man in this fic, the best type of Neil.
A Midnight Summer’s Dream: A Story of Hope (chapter 2 specifically) by cc tinselbee (thearchivistonmars)
Summary: (my words) an almost main au that will tear your fucking soul from your body. Beautiful, amazing, life altering, makes me cry in the best way. The bittersweetness of it all is POTENT. It is an Almost Maine au (I am scared to look into almost maine now from how heartbreaking this fic was. I have only read the SECOND chapter, I’m sure the first chapter is magnificent but as of now I am in the midst of finals so I will check it out when I am done.)
My notes: Someone printed out this fic, tied it to a brick, and threw it into the window of my heart, shattering my soul into pieces. How could you do this to be, author? This piece has me able to physically feel my brain putting up barriers to stop thinking about the ending that is implied. Nope, nope, nope. If you are one for incurable angst, please go ahead and enjoy. It’s a wonderful story and it evoked emotions in me that I couldn’t even stand. The author is very talented for this and I’m manifesting that alternative/possible happy ending they mentioned in their notes/comments. I haven’t read the first chapter, so this is specifically about the second one because up until a few moments ago I didn’t realize that there was a first chapter–I clicked on the link to the fic from the author’s tumblr and was sleep deprived and thought it was the beginning of the fic 🙂
Gentle Lover, Remedy ****by violet_sunset on ao3. 1/1 chap, 13,135 words.
Summary: “Todd’s first semester at Welton marks the moment he stops going to church. There are regular Masses offered in the chapel, but whenever Todd thinks about going he’s overwhelmed by nausea and has to hover in the bathrooms until he is sure he won’t vomit. When he was a kid and he thought God was just a pair of arms open in embrace, he would have jumped at the chance to attend, to sing from the hymnal and listen to homily and absorb the sacrament of blood and body. Now, God seems like a distant thing.”
My notes: HOLY FUCK, RELIGIOUS GUILT MY BELOVED. That’s one of my favorite tags to see in a work, and it isn’t often that I have seen it in some of the pairings that I like. Of course, with religious guilt comes internalized homophobia and period typical attitudes–the fic actually made use of words used in that time period that were used to refer to queer folk, so if any of those trigger you please be wary as well. I love, love, LOVE the usage of religious metaphors and words that are littered all around in this piece as well as the descriptions that show Todd’s pathway of his beliefs. As we know Todd has a deeply ingrained inferiority complex and WOW does it shine in this fic. It made me cry feeling the second-hand guilt that Todd feels. Also, the author tackled the controversy of appropriation in the film–meaning Charlie’s preference of the name Nuwanda–and expanded on his ethnic background which was really nice to read. They also touched upon Charlie’s relation to gender and (semi-canonical?) non-binaryness (it's a word because I say so) in a beautiful and delicate way that is very rare in most works that I have seen. In general there are very few fics that I have read that have included Charlie as being anything other than cisgender, so it was wonderful to see it included in this work. As well as this, Todd having a panic attack/sensory overload when a certain ginger starts being homophobic was incredibly well written and it felt like it captured those feelings that you have during an overwhelmingly stressful moment, though that is an understatement. Todd’s inability to realize just what the fuck is going on and being sort of spacey during it all–been there and done that baby. This author is so fucking talented, and this is probably my favorite dps fic of all time. I dont have the words to effectively describe how amazing it is, so if you are able to, I highly suggest reading it to experience it for yourself :)
It’s Rotten Work by cc tinslebee (the archivistonmars) on ao3, 1/1 chap, 2,774 words.
Summary:
“I was hoping…” Neil peered back up at him with those fervent eyes before he broke his inconspicuous character and cracked a smile, “my favorite scene partner would help me test it out?”
In the midst of Todd’s continual crisis of what exactly Neil’s ‘no’ means, Neil asks him to read from a scene from Orestes. You know, for practice.
My notes: Short and utterly sweet. I love reading pieces that just show how much characters love each other whether it’s platonic, romantic, or somewhere in between. I’ve always been one for a slowburn, and it wasn’t until I realized that I was aromantic that the reason I love that trope is because in between the first ‘hello’ and the inevitable kiss, that love that I read about was similar to how I felt. Just a simple fondness that the characters had for each other that made them feel alive and safe etc. I could go on forever about that, but what I mean to say is that this fic captured that feeling of affection in a fleeting moment between Neil and Todd, and I think it’s lovely.
The Pepper Ghost Effect by Anonymous on ao3, 6/6 chaps, 19,472 words.
Summary:
“1964. Todd Anderson, now a successful playwright, whisks away an old flame from a horrifying mental asylum. That old flame, Neil Perry, becomes Todd’s new muse.”
Notes: Beware of the tags. It is a very angst ridden fic that addressed Neil’s mental health and the possibilities of what could have happened if he survived his first attempt on his life. Key word, first attempt. There is period-typical homophobia, past abusive partners, and ableism and abuse stemming from the sanitarium that [spoiler] is placed in for some time. There is a happy ending, so it’s not just angst and I feel that this fic is severely underrated. There are like only 24 kudos on it right now and 4 comments which?? What?? It’s an absolute masterpiece, and effectively captures the feeling and emotion of hopelessness and depression of a situation. Neil’s emotional response and numbness to everything around him resonated with me and I felt like it described my own brush with darkness from the lower points in my life. Read at your own risk and don’t push yourself if any of the tags may be triggering, but if you are able to this is a wonderful read that will elicit all sorts of feelings in your heart.
In the Subjunctive by ghostlin on ao3, 1/1 chaps, 5682 words.
Summary:
“The night the play opens, Neil turns left.”
My notes: This is a sort of fix-it fic with Neil coming back to the dorms after his fight with his father. It leaves off sort of ambiguous–and I do adore a good ambiguous ending–leaving the reader to imagine a happy ending. I consider it a happy ending because Neil is alive, but he is less than well mentally as of what he has endured. It also centered some on Charlie and Neil in the aftermath of it all which I enjoyed because I feel that sometimes fics forget that they are all friends. Todd wasn’t the only one mourning Neil–they all were. Also I liked the way the author captured the surprise of Charlie’s acceptance of Neil’s sexuality amongst the blunt hatred of the time. Often I feel like some fics don’t try to keep the edge of fear or vulnerability that that time period called for–which is totally fine! You do you, boo. I just have a preference for it because I feel that it almost adds to an ambiguous read of a situation. I also liked how the author wrote about Todd’s perception of Charlie and how he perceives him–whether or not Todd is supposed to be unreliable (I think it’s made somewhat clear that Charlie likes Todd–he wouldn't be encouraging Neil to spill his feelings if he didn’t) in his narration.
Also as a side note i love your pfp ive been needing to read the picture of dorian gray but ive been so busy 🙁 and you have a good day too !!❤️
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9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better:
Tagged by @theworldisabrokenbonebutitishome and @forerussake - thanks guys!
3 Ships You Like: my brain could go in 10 different directions here in addition to the most obvious course, but most recently, hmmm - Ye Liuxi/Chang Dong (West out of Yumen) they were awfully cute together. I'd rewatch if the Youtube version wasn't such a mess. And still somehow surprisingly to me, pingxie- every time a post pops up it reminds me that oh yeah I do really feel them. And recently, fanghua (really!) after reading a fic that tossed me unceremoniously over the line. I'm not done making noise about that either.
First Ship Ever: I guess the first one I was really conscious of (and read fic for) was Mulder/Scully. damn that feels like an aeon ago, another life
Last Song You Heard:
Kendall Tavern/Dancing in Allihies by Jenna Moynihan (it's a tune technically but I think that counts). as someone who plays a lot of music (instruments) I tend to listen to things I play or want to play, which means I'm usually listening to some odd shit.
Favourite Childhood Book: it's difficult to remember I blew through so many, although a lot were my mother's books and not necessarily for kids ..maybe Island of the Blue Dolphins? I cannot remember whether it was assigned to us in school or if I read it on my own, or both. Probably both!
Currently Reading: rereading クスノキの番人 by Higashino Keigo, so I can absorb more vocabulary than I did the first time around. Last time I was in Japan I didn't have a list of books to find and was aimlessly looking around- this one was on display and just sounded interesting so I grabbed one. It was cute, just slightly supernatural and sentimental - wouldn't be surprised if it gets animated or made into a short tv series.
That and at the same time also 二百二十日 by Natsume Soseki because I love being at least mildly confused and challenged at all times.
Currently watching: Rewatching MLC just for the feels and also trying to figure out how to watch Ying Yang Master without having to give Netflix my cc number. Also would like to know where people are accessing the unofficial copies of Spirealm since the recent barrage of gifsets of a frighteningly young-looking Huang Junjie suggests it's around somewhere - anyone know?
Currently consuming: blueberries and just a little cabot plain greek yogurt - expensive but so good. I figure if food is gonna cost over $10 every time then I'd might as well eat something healthy that i'll want every day.
Currently craving: at the moment I'd love these clouds to clear up. It's Saturday in late February and the sun would be nice on my day off. Would love to go on a hike to look for oyster mushrooms though I never have good luck finding those.
Update: went for a short jog and it felt like I woke up with someone else's legs today, in a bad way. I want the energy I had on Monday. Probably the fault of the junk I ate yesterday - trying broccoli and brown rice tonight, will try again tomorrow and see if it helps (usually does).
Tagging:
As usual I think my mutuals are in on this already - anyone interested in a new set of questions? Maybe I could come up with something
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1, 2, 50, 51, and 79 for the ask game! If that's not too many 😭
No such thing as too many questions!! I love this stuff!
1 - Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?
My memory is a very large sieve if I do not write something down the moment I think of it, it is gone forever. So. I tend to start jotting down notes and outlining the moment I have A Thought and then it just grows from there. I’m not a heavy outliner though sometimes it’s just like, one sentence of a Thing Happens and then once I can get my hands on a keyboard I’m ready to go. I’d argue I’m constantly daydreaming as well which is what my notes app is for. If I cannot be in front of my computer, I’m still writing stuff in there.
2 - Where do you get your fic ideas?
“Would that be fucked up or what?”
Ok but actually I tend to look for things I wanted resolved in canon, things that explore the characters, “what ifs”, stuff like that. Mafia AU is an experiment for me in character motivations and at this point I forgot what got me thinking of the mafia premise.
50 - How would you describe your writing style?
If I’m being generous, cinematic? I love love love dialogue. Dialogue is my bread and butter and everything else is just awkwardly built around it. My writing skills seem to be set up like dialogue > action > inner monologue > descriptions. I want to get better at figurative language and I guess indirect character exploration? Yeah. Right now, I write like a screenplay with extra detailed notes on character feelings.
51 - Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?
Um. Yes and no. I fucking love super introspective character-study type fics where the exploration of the character is Shown to us, not simply told via dialogue, which is what I tend to use as a crutch. I mean, my character study type fics are literally therapy fics bc the characters are forced to talk about their feelings. Stories where half the meaning is shown through what is UNSAID are everything to me. I read what I feel like I can’t write.
But also. I reread my own fics perhaps more often than I should because it is literally exactly what I’d like to read. So. I don’t often seek out fics like my own because I’ve got my own inventory covered lmao.
79 - Do you have any writing advice you want to share?
Just basic shit. Write daily if you can, read when you can and try to read lots of different things and try to read critically! That’s something I’ve been slacking on, I’ve been reading a ton of books lately but I’m not gaining anything from them as a writer bc I’m not consuming them as a writer, y’know? So, I’m trying to get better at that!
Ty for the ask! this was lots of fun and got me thinkin ^-^
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hello and lots of writing questions right back at you...! 2, 6, 18, 22, 27 & 29 <3
*rubs hands together* yeah let's go off about shit!
2. Do you read/reread your own fics?
Yes, I absolutely do. Mainly because I write stuff that I want to read, so I will 100% go back to chapters or works when enough time has past that I can actually enjoy reading it without thinking about grammar or pacing or anything like that (keeping the editing hat off is difficult though, has to be said).
And while undertaking The Great LITFL Re-Write Project, I've been reading that back through as I work on each chapter just to make sure there's enough of a connection between the two works.
6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?
Again, yes! Some more then others due to recency bias and the fact I have so many bookmarks and my autism brain means I have the 'out of sight, out of mind' problem where I just forget about stuff. What I re-read can depend on what mood I'm in, or if something just wafts into my head out of the blue and then I instantly have to pull it up and read it to satisfy the itch.
My recent favourite re-reads are 'tomorrow is a place' which is quite possibly my absolute favourite Star Trek Picard fic, 'Solar Flare' by Tianvette - a truly fantastic work but 100% read through the tags before reading, 'Elevator' by BigBlueLemon which was recced to me and I'm so glad because I enjoy reading it every single time (it's just! so! soft!!!!!!), and 'Saltwater and Gasoline' by Kaytheologie for Reasons™️
18. What’s one of your favourite lines you’ve written in a fic?
Going for a deep dive into my archive and pick this from 'Where You Go, I Follow', because it comes back into my head now and again a very surprising amount (and I'm always on my Team Seb bullshit)
“Oh by the way, Seb finally asked me to prom!” As Antti grinned at his colleague, Sebastian strongly contemplated kicking Antti under the table while Britta just laughed.
22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?
I like to have a rough idea in my mind, since I can get quite easily overwhelmed, especially by a big multi-chapter project. Sometimes I'll come up with the ending first (like the parallels in 'I'll Be Okay, Someday' which also acts as the motivation to write. But for longer works I'll have everything laid out in my chapter outline doc, and go from there.
27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?
my ongoing re-write of Life In The Fast Lane, because it had been so long since I'd written and finished the rpf version and I wasn't sure how people would take to the re-write being an original work (and while feedback has been about as minimal as expected, what I have had back has been really lovely!)
I was pretty nervous about posting I'll Be Okay, Someday as well because I hadn't written f1 rpf in years, hence why it's still listed as Anonymous 😅
29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)
Diving back into LITFL for this one! This snippet was written before I'd swapped Spa out for Istanbul on my season calendar (mainly due to somewhat recent events I just found it too difficult a prospect for me to write about races at Spa, hence the switch).
I edited this snippet to make it fit for the Turkey 2023 chapter, but here it is in it's original form.
It was the kind of wind that chilled you right to the bone no matter how many layers of clothing you wore. Yet Vanessa, Sophie and her engineers tried their best to brace themselves against the erratic gusts as they exited the pitlane and approached Eau Rouge.
Even now, in what was Sophie’s umpteenth visit to the track, the sight of it still filled her with awe.
“Now, oh sh-” Chris went to speak, but ended up pulling his team branded beanie hat further down his head with one hand, with the other trying to keep his notebook shut as he was hit by another icy cold gust. “I know you were here last year in F2. But, you’re still going to notice a huge difference in the amount of horsepower you’ll have going up here” Chris glanced at Eau Rouge, then looked right into Sophie’s eyes. “I know you’ll want to be a bonkers racing driver and go up here full throttle. But if you do, you’ll crash. So please take it easy for your first few laps in practice tomorrow, okay?”
Despite the sternness in Chris’ voice, Sophie knew by now that it had nothing to do with her race engineer’s trust that she was able to do her job properly. It came from the unspoken part of Chris’ job description, the part where he had a sizeable chunk of responsibility to keep his driver safe.
“I will try especially hard to be careful tomorrow. I promise”
Chris huffed and affectionately rolled his eyes before he stuffed his hands in his coat pockets, hunched his shoulders almost all the way up to his ears, and continued on walking up Eau Rouge and Radillon with his already chilled colleagues.
They had some shelter thanks to the colossal pine trees that ran alongside the Kemmel straight, but the rest of the track walk left everyone once again exposed to the frozen gusts of wind. At least, they all knew each other well enough by now to not bother hiding how cold they all were.
“I texted Richard, he’ll have teas and coffees waiting for us when we get back” At that, Vanessa suddenly became everyone’s favourite Hintsa employee as they neared the Bus Stop chicane at the end of the lap.
fan fic writers asks
#it's so fun having writer moots; I genuinely love doing these#tysm!!!!!! 💚#asks#eyes-likepilotlights#lima tag#racing writes#my writing#also#fic recs#(I guess???)
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11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?
(please share a song or two if yes!!!)
And
25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?
💛💛💛
Long post ahead because as I said, I love talking about writing/my stories. Send me questions from this list or feel free to ask your own questions. ❤
11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?
I don't listen to music while writing but I do listen to music when I walk to the uni or back to the dorm or when I'm on the bus to go home, and while listening to them, I love thinking about story ideas.
Here are some I actually have ideas for:
The Amazing Devil: The Calling (In a weak moment of mine I almost changed the plot of the story mentioned above so I could have the title of this song as the title of the story. But I didn't because no death on my watch. (Also, not writing but the artist in me loves to visualize the “shoulder the sky/open those eyes” part for some reason. If I was ever to make an animation, it'd be based on this part.)
The Amazing Devil: Inkpot Gods (“I'll be the man my father never was.” I think I don't even have to name the driver that comes to my mind when listening to this part of the song. Millions of story ideas based on this line only.
There's another important part in the song: “If I don't make it back from where I've gone/Just know I loved you all along.” I love this part because it has a connection with my first and only non-fanfic story. I could write long paragraphs about it but it's not a Formula 1 story so I don't think anyone here would be interested in it.
I used to have a lot of depressed story ideas based on Hold On by Chord Overstreet but I've never really written them because finding Daniel and joining the fandom helped with my mental health and since I'm better I don't really want to write about... Things I wanted to write about back then. Now I prefer writing about comfort, it's a bit healthier.
But... Born to Die by Lana del Ray is also a good song because the “You and I, we were born to die” part makes me want to write about Charles' suffering at Ferrari. But fortunately I'm not a diehard Ferrari fan, I have enough sadness in my life without it, too, so I'll leave it to the Charles fans who like pain.
Also, I really struggled with giving a title to my Piarles panic attack story so I opened my TikTok and started listening to the audios of my saved videos. (I sometimes save videos only because of the music, because when I draw I usually listen to TikTok videos.) It actually helped, the title is from Tattoo by Loreen.
So yeah, I like using songs for ideas but I rarely listen to them while writing. I prefer silence or the everyday noises in the house.
25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?
Spoiler warning for my Piarles panic attack story "All I care about is you".
Oh, yeah. The last time it has happened was when I just finished writing the Piarles panic attack story and I was sitting on my bed, rereading it and my brain went like “fucking hell, this shit is traumatizing” (I mean the (aftermath of the) things happening in it. It's way more than what's actually shown in the story (I might actually write a second part to it, I'm not sure yet because I have a few other prompts to write for)). So yeah I was sitting there, thinking about how I made Charles suffer even more and how I might have gone too far with it, with getting his brother involved in it, especially in the way I did it...
I don't really care about spoilers so I'm just gonna talk about it. About what's not in the story but will might be in the second part, if there ever will be one. So yeah, Arthur loses both of his legs (one fully, the other “only” below the knee) because of the crash. They can't save them. They can barely save Arthur because of the internal bleeding and other nasty things. When Charles first hears what's happened to him, he completely breaks down and Lorenzo has to pry him up from the floor. Something breaks in Charles. He won't ever be the same.
His little brother only has half of a leg, he might not even wake up, his mother is just sitting next to him, holding his hand silently. Charles knows she's been strong for too long. She had to be strong after losing her husband, she had to be strong for her kids, had to raise them, be there for them and now this happened. Too much. It's too much for her but she helds it together. Charles can't. And Lorenzo... He has to be the big brother. He can't lose both of his brothers. It was already hard enough for him to survive the loss of his best friend, Jules. He has to be there for Charles, Arthur and for their mother.
Oh, and Pierre's there too. He tries to support Charles (and the whole family) but it's really hard because nobody knows if Arthur will ever wake up and if he will, what will happen after he realized what happened.
(He'll wake up. As I said, no death on my watch.)
So yeah sometimes I can make myself really sad with the stories I write. That's why mostly write hurt/comfort and only a few “hard” angst or so. Not that “hard” in terms of real angst other people write but hard for my broken soul and snowflake mind.
Thank you for sending me questions. 😊
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hey girl!! i wanted to let you know that i always check if you have posted anything almost everyday because i love your writing and it helps me escape a bit from my own things in my life. so yes i completely understand that you need to pace yourself and take care of yourself because i think that’s how you’ll get your best writing at the end of the day. i hope this eases a bit of pressure because i’ll be right here whenever you’re ready and able. you and your mind are most important. i cant wait to see what you come up with whenever.
Hello my darling, my love, my flower. First of all thank you thank you thank you, the fact that you check my page everyday makes my little heart flutter, i used to be a fic reader and i know the meaning of the gesture ☹️. I originally began writing for shits and giggles but also to share the dreams in my head, i escape when i write ,reread , make moodboards and videos for them, bestie i’m so so happy that i can give you a safe space where you can escape when reality gets harsh, i always try to write things that feel like a warm hug so your confession that i’m helping you makes me so happy. ( i could smooch you rn). Secondly, Thank you for understanding why i’m taking it slow, even if i do try it just won’t come out, but trust me when it comes around i somehow turn into Shakespeare 🤭. I can’t thank you enough for sticking by and deciding to send this sweet letter, are you an angellllll? (If i have to take a guess i’d say mechanicrry is your escape) i’ll be adding this sweet message of yours to the others so i can reread when i’m sad. Thank you pretty :(. (Also i’ve been sick for the past 3 days and i’m pretty sure i healed from your words). “I’ll be right here when you’re ready and able” bestie i’ll be calling you Satellite anon 😌💓✨💓
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HELLO BONES I JUST WOKE UP SO I DONT REALLY KNOW WHATS HAPPENING but I saw a bunch of asks saying nice things about your writing and also you being sad about something(??) So here I am. Feel our love. (That's an order).
Currently rereading stars and holy shit I somehow managed to forget how good it is I feel like I'm picking up on all the bits I somehow never processed before and I'm having so much fun with it (just finished the chapter where Wilbur got drunk with quackity. My man needs a pay raise he just wanted the vodka)
Also I just wanted to say that I love how you're able to include so many characters in a way that doesn't feel forced or,, unbalanced?? Just. There's so many people and you make them all seem important and they're not just names thrown in for the sake of having names that get forgotten two chapters later.
And rocketduo supremacy giv more pls
AND ALSO your fics are just so rereadable, if that makes sense?? Like there are fics you read once and forget about, there are fics you read once and never want to read again because nothing can beat the emotions of reading it for the first time, and somehow all your fics fall into the secret third category of you could reread them all a million times over and you'd notice something new every single time and the feelings never get diluted with repetition. Idk it's just really cool and impressive and you are literally so cool and impressive and deserve all the validation your heart could desire
AND ALSO. JUST ONE MORE COMMENT ABOUT GLASS. Tommy finding and using Wilbur's name isn't like an act of revenge or anything, he's helping the only way he knows how to, and maybe it's not all that morally right but nothing in this fic is all that morally right and it's just really interesting to read and think about and I Cannot Wait (yes I can please don't take this as pressure to upload or anything) to see what happens next
ALRIGHT BREAKFAST TIME GOODBYE BONES
—🌾
LMAO hi wheat anon
so glad you're having fun rereading stars!! it honestly means so much to hear that my fics are really easy to reread. tbh rereading/rewatching things is one of my favorite things to do. I love rereading my fav books and rewatching my fav movies and picking out different things i like about them each time. so hearing that people do that with MY writing?? it's really insane to me /pos
also so happy you like my casts!! i love including a lot of different characters from the smp but I try not to include too many so I can give at least a bit of proper attention to each one. in all honesty that's one of my biggest problems with world forgetting. I feel like I really just threw puffy, sam, and ponk in there without ever giving them a proper chance to shine which was my own fault, so I've been extra careful to avoid that ever since. I love having a balanced cast as long as I know I can give everyone their due. the characters aren't just there to add to the list of names, they each have a purpose in the story even if it's a small one :)
dlksfjk thank you for understanding the tommy finding wilbur's name isn't an act of revenge OR deadnaming. again, I write messy characters, and I'm just relieved there are a lot of you guys here on tumblr who enjoy them for what they are <3 tysm wheat anon!!
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...huh. After getting that ask last night, I went back and reread some of my old Osomatsu-san karabita fic and like. Damn, I was really going through some shit back then.
There are a lot of them that I could be talking about, being honest, but I really mean that damn wingfic. It's wild looking back at it now because the vibe is kind of like I decided to just get fully naked for all of my readers and they just clapped politely. I'm not sure I've ever written anything more painful or more honest, to the point where I honestly cried a little reading it even now.
Like... I know it's a wingfic for a crack anime but I feel like if I just printed that fic out and handed it to every therapist I ever had, we probably could have saved a lot of time and effort. lmao
I know some of you reading this now followed me even back then (which is wild to think about, and thank you for sticking with me for that long) but for the uninitiated, one half of that pairing is very small and kind of underdeveloped and is canonically sensitive about it, and I wrote a fic that explored that insecurity through a fantasy AU with wings. (Wingfic was super popular in Ye Olde Fandom days but it's less common now and I was feeling nostalgic for it.)
And... I mean, it's true that I was looking at that character trait. But I realize now (and think I knew even then) that it was really about exploring my own insecurities re: my disability (and my childhood trauma) and my inability to accept that I could be loved in spite of it. It was a fantasy, perhaps, of someone who'd fall for the person I am and manage to convince me that I am worth loving, in spite of -- or perhaps because of -- my experiences and deficiencies.
Truthfully speaking, I think I was very cognizant of it being a fantasy back then. It didn't feel even remotely possible for me. I felt far too -- well, broken, as the fic said. I've been through a lot of shit. Some I've posted about publicly, some I haven't. And through it all, my body has really just been one betrayal after another.
Even in the fic, this character is thinking that he may never be loved, but at least he can be strong and productive and like. God, I guess that's part of the fantasy, isn't it? My physical problems are only partially visible, as opposed to Chibita's very visible wings in that fic, but they prevent me from doing a lot. Honestly, in many ways, they make me feel like less of a person because of all the things I will never be able to do myself. It's a rough thing to struggle with. I am not physically strong. I'm not always very productive. But god did I hospitalize myself a few times back then while trying.
That said... I've changed a lot in the past six years. Some things have stayed the same, and I still recognize enough of myself in that fic that it hurts to read. But some things have improved. I made some medication changes that didn't exactly fix things, but they have made them more bearable. (Both physically, pain-wise, and psychologically.) I have made new friends and have joined new communities. I've taken up new hobbies and created new loves. I finally found a new fandom to throw myself into, lmao.
I'm still single, I guess, and I still struggle with accepting that someone could love me. I still have problems noticing when people are interested and kind of need to be bashed over the head with it. But... I think, looking back on this fic now, I'm not sure that love was even the real fantasy when I was writing it. Like obviously I wouldn't turn down love and acceptance exactly as I am. Who would?
I think, though, that the real fantasy was that someone would tell me that I'm worth loving and that I'd believe it. I wanted to be loved, but I wanted to be able to love myself, too. That's the hard part, isn't it? Believing that you're intrinsically lovable. And that's what I just... could not accept for many, many years. I can look back on it now and see how that mental block was created; the societal lessons and the people I'd surrounded myself with and the various traumas that I hadn't quite processed. But god, was it hard to break.
But I'm happy to report that these days I have at least a couple people in my life who don't just make me feel valued but valuable. They tell me they like me and slowly, I believe it. They tell me I'm impressive and slowly, I become impressed. They accept me for all my scars and flaws and slowly, I have started to accept myself, too.
I think about that character in that fic I wrote, absolutely touch-starved and yearning for it, and I run my hands down my arms, my thighs, and allow myself to enjoy the softness of my own skin.
(Even if it is a symptom of one of my many illnesses. 🙃)
And finally, I can imagine someone else enjoying it, too.
I know that doesn't seem like some big, crazy breakthrough. I'm not out here like "update, I'm in a happily committed relationship and mentally healthy!" But when most of your life you've felt like love and happiness especially in a physical sense are things that belong to other people but never to you... like, it's a big deal, to look at hands that don't quite work right, that look weird sometimes, that are strange to the touch, and think -- one day, someone will want to hold these. They'll want to. They won't just put up with the physicality of me; they will love it and they will love me and I will let them.
Like I may not be perfect at this point. I may not ever be. But I'm open to the idea of happiness and I find myself optimistic in ways I never have been before. I think I'm ready to let someone love me. And to me, at least, that feels huge.
I look back on the words I wrote seven years ago, and I realize that what felt impossible back then feels dizzyingly plausible now. I know I've made a lot of posts lately about growth and about healing but I just. God, it still feels so novel to me. It's crazy to look within yourself and realize that for what feels like the first time, you are feeling better. And idk if it was the medical changes or the therapy or the people I've met or just -- just the distance from who I used to be. From the things that happened. But I feel tangibly different now compared to who I was then and I could cry with it.
(...I have cried with it. lmao)
idk. Growth is hard and it doesn’t always feel good but sometimes you look back on the person you were a few years ago and you just. You just want to hold them, y’know? And tell them that one day things really will be better.
#just me#personal#long post#god what to even tag this#cw:#mental health#disability#'velvet skin' sounds like a nice symptom when it's just extremely soft skin#but the rashes and blisters and scars and suuuuper slow healing are... less fun
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