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ᡣ𐭩 Title: Mutual Understanding

ᡣ𐭩 Paring: Rich! Playboy! Taehyung x Fortune teller daughter! Reader

ᡣ𐭩 Summary: She wants nothing to do with love and he hates relationships. Perfect.

ᡣ𐭩 Rating: Explicit (18+)

ᡣ𐭩 Genre: Romance, angst, smut, slow burn, fake relationship au, and cat and mouse vibes

ᡣ𐭩 Part of the The Legendary Seven

ᡣ𐭩 Playlist - Cat & Mouse by Black Swan and Selfish by YooA

ᡣ𐭩 Authors note: I’m proud of this story and honestly my best writing so far me thinks 🥺

May 22 - I edited and added a scene that I felt like it was needed!

“One of the legendary sevens is off the market. Jeon Jungkook, the heartthrob, is going out with one of the students who was accepted through the Kim Scholarship. I heard she’s a fangirl for a gamer streamer so it will be interesting to see how their relationship goes. It’s of course noted that Jungkook’s father tried buying her house. I guess that's another way to keep your house. Until then, Pen.”

“Your mom was right.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and rolled over in Seungkwan’s bed, “Don’t say that.”

“Y/N, she literally got every detail right. I have to give her credit.” Seungkwan tried to show his phone but she kept avoiding it, “Come on, Y/N. Can’t you just listen to your mom?”

“Seungkwan, can you just show me that new game and forget about this?”

“Remember what your mom said? You will find love in the next two months.”

Y/N let out a scoff and sat up in his bed, “That’s like me saying Kim Taehyung will be faithful. It will never happen.”

Seungkwan pouted at his best friend and shook his head, “Let me dream for you.”

“Keep dreaming.”

L/N Y/N, is one of the top students in her major (Radiologic Technology) and her best friend Boo Seungkwan is the top student of his major (Marketing) and was on the gossip site for their school. Seoul University is filled with rich people that lacked basic human kindness which is why everyone loved this website. The person behind it has never said their name but whoever it is, knows more than everyone.

After Seungkwan’s badminton competition, Y/N went over to his house like she always did. Being friends since high school, they basically knew everything about each other. Like how Y/N’s dad left after a night out with his coworkers, she was only six. The one thing that Seungkwan was always curious about was her mother’s “power”. Her mother was a famous fortune teller who gets paid well by CEO’s and she's been doing this for years. Y/N didn’t believe anything her mother said but Seungkwan on the other hand believed every word.

Y/N stood up from his bed and headed to the bathroom to brush her hair. Seungkwan followed her as he scrolled down his phone, “This says that Namjoon has a secret admirer.”

She raised her eyebrow through the mirror and let out a small chuckle. “Are you surprised? Everyone has a crush on that group.”

“Not you.”

“I have a brain, that's why.”

Seungkwan’s phone chimed and he smiled at the screen, “Vernon’s here.”

“Is Seokmin here too?”

“No? Why do you want him here?”

She put her brush down and looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “Yes, it sucks feeling like a third wheel.”

Seungkwan’s face turned red and pointed at her, “YO-YOU SHUT UP!”

Y/N let out a laugh and shrugged her shoulders, “It’s true. Let’s go downstairs to your boyfriend.”

“YAH! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND!”

“NO, I’M NOT!”

“YOUR MOM SAID-”

“DON’T BRING HER-”

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!”

Seungkwan and Y/N glanced at the door with a nervous look. Seungkwan’s sister isn’t someone to mess with, “So-Sorry.”

Vernon came in and they were hanging out in Seungkwan’s room. They weren’t really talking but their company made it better. It wasn’t until Seungkwan shot up from his spot making Y/N jump, “What the hell?”

“Taehyung dumped Jennie.”

Y/N scoffed at this and rolled her eyes, “They weren’t together. Just fucking.”

“So, it doesn’t matter. They're done now because Jennie just posted a picture with her ex.”

Vernon sighed and glanced at Seungkwan’s phone, “We shouldn’t care about other people's lives.”

“Especially Taehyung’s, he’s just a piece of shit that breaks poor girls' hearts.”

Kim Taehyung let out a puff of smoke as he glanced at Jungkook who was texting on his phone. He glared at this and gently nudged him to get his attention, “Dude, you said you wanted to hang out but you're talking to your girl.”

Jungkook glanced up at Taehyung and rubbed the back of his neck, “Sorry.” He put his phone back in his pocket and gave his friend a concerned look, “I wanted to hang out because I saw Jennie’s post.”

Taehyung hit his cigarette ash in his diamond ashtray and shrugged his shoulders, “What about it?”

“I know you guys were seeing each other-”

“Her pussy was good.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes and shook his head, “You literally saw her for four months straight and wouldn’t call your other girls. That means you liked her.”

“Why would I like her? I’m Kim Taehyung, I don’t fall in love with basic girls.”

“Sometimes I wish a girl would slap you for your attitude.”

Taehyung shrugged his shoulders and leaned back against his leather couch, “Would love to see it happen.”

Jungkook’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he took his phone out, “I have to go.”

“Go to your girlfriend you simp.”

“At least someone likes me for me and not just for my money.”

Taehyung scoffed at this and continued to smoke with annoyance, “How can you stick to one pussy?”

Jungkook let out a laugh and stood up from the couch, “When you find the right person, nothing else matters.”

“Whatever dude.”

Jungkook went to leave and bowed to Taehyung's mother who was coming into the living room, “Ah, Kook, you're going home already?”

Jungkook bowed and gave her a sheepish smile, “My girlfriend needs me.”

Taehyung’s mother sighed and placed a hand on her cheek as she glanced at her son with a frown, “I wish my son had a girlfriend. I need to tell him the good news.”

“The good news?”

Taehyung’s mother nodded her head happily, “I went to see a fortune teller today, she told me that Taehyung will fall in love in two months.”

Jungkook glanced at Taehyung and then back at his mother, “Taehyung? Your son will fall in love with someone?”

“Isn’t that exciting!? My son falling in love, what more can I want?”

“Taehyung...falling in love. I have to go, it was nice seeing you, Mrs. Kim.”

“Bye Kook, be safe.”

Taehyung’s mom smiled at her son and walked towards him with her heels clicking away. Taehyung quickly put his cigarette out and sat up straighter, “Mom?”

“My Tae, I have good news.”

Taehyung raised his eyebrow at his mother, “This can’t be good, what’s the news.”

“A fortune teller told me that you would fall in love with someone in two months. Isn’t that good news?”

“You believe in that? Mom really?”

His mom nodded her head and glanced through the living room windows, “With a son like you, I have to believe in that.”

“What is that supposed to mean!?”

“You know what it means.”

“Mom, just let me live my life the way I want.”

His mom sighed and stood up with a little smirk on her lips, “Well hurry up because in six weeks grandma is coming over and I told her you had a girlfriend.”

“You did what? Mom, you know I don’t have a girlfriend.”

She shrugged her shoulders and nodded her head, “Figure it out. Also, no more smoking, or I will have your father do something about it.”

He swallowed his spit nervously, “Please don’t.”

“Good, let’s go have dinner.”

He watched her leave and fell back into the couch and stared at the ceiling, “What the fuck am I going to do?”

Kim Taehyung, is the second richest student at Seoul University. Everyone knows who he is. He had loving parents and siblings who were perfect. Being part of the legendary seven, it was a blessing and a curse. Everyone knows your business, even those who you don’t want to know. Taehyung hates relationships because what’s the point of being in one when you're in college? You're supposed to have fun and go to school. Why put love on top of the stress of school? Love is just complicated and a headache for him. It will always be like that. Always.

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡

Seungkwan and Y/N walked down the hallway talking to one another about random things. It wasn’t until she heard someone running towards her. She turned around to see her other friend running towards her with a wide smile, Hwang Eunbi, “Y/N! I have something to tell you!”

She smiled at the girl and grabbed her hand with ease, “What is it?”

“I got a note from Kevin and he told me that Yunho has a crush on you!”

Y/N rolled her eyes and dropped her hand, “Not this again. Stop trying to set me up with people.”

Eunbi frowned and glanced at Seungkwan, “Did you tell her?”

“Tell me what?”

Seungkwan let out a nervous laugh and turned towards Y/N, “You see...My aunt is having a party next week and I kinda told her...I told her that you had a boyfriend because she kept asking about you and I lied because she wouldn’t leave me alone. I’m sorry and I know you hate relationships but I panicked and she was talking bad about you-”

“Seungkwan, relax.”

Seungkwan raised his eyebrow and glanced at Eunbi, “You're not mad?”

“I know your aunt so I know how you act around her.”

“I’m sorry...I just hate how she talks about you. It’s not fair.”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders and put her hands in her pockets, “Like I give a shit what she says. She’s already on her fourth husband so maybe she should take her own love advice.”

Eunbi laughed at this and wrapped her arm around her neck, “But you should ask Yunho to be your fake boyfriend to show his aunt up.”

“Why would I care? Also, I wouldn’t do that to Yunho because if he has feelings for me then asking him to be my fake boyfriend would be morally wrong.”

Seungkwan smirked at her, “To wipe off that look she always has. You can ask someone else then.”

“That’s tempting but I don’t really care what she thinks about me. Let’s go to lunch before we have to run to class.”

Seungkwan and Eunbi watched her leave with frowns on their faces. Eunbi turned towards Seungkwan, “What are we going to do?”

“I don’t want my aunt to harass her at the party.”

Eunbi's eyes became brighter with an idea that was going to change everything and grabbed Seungkwan’s arm, “I have an idea.”

“Is Y/N going to kill us?”

“Maybe but your aunt will be defeated.”

“Let’s do it.”

Y/N walked into the lunch court with her hands in her pocket. There was a group of girls that had a crush on her because of how cool she was. Y/N’s personality was very laid back and unlike her best friends, she didn’t care about anyone’s opinions. When she got made fun of her mom, she told people to fuck off. She didn’t see a point in fighting with people who only listen to rumors.

She got her usual sandwich and looked at the usual table they always sat at. She dropped her backpack and Seungkwan jumped at the sound, “Why do you always do that?”

“Because it scares you.”

“Y/NNNN!”

“Seokmin, you can use your normal voice.”

She felt an arm around her shoulders and that laugh she came to know, “Where’s the fun in that?” Seokmin removed his arm and sat next to Y/N, “What’s new?”

Eunbi leaned forward with a little smirk, “Do you want the tea about everything you missed?”

“You know me so well.”

Seungkwan pulled out his phone as Y/N ate her sandwich ignoring the whole gossip talk. Seungkwan handed his phone to him with excitement, “Apparently, Taehyung is looking for a girlfriend.”

“Kim Taehyung?”

Eunbi took a sip of her banana milk and nodded her head, “I know right!? Out of everyone, he is the last person I would think would want a relationship.”

“Especially since he was in love with Jennie.”

Seokmin nodded his head and glanced at Y/N, “What do you think, Y/N.”

She placed her sandwich down and shrugged her shoulders, “Why should I care?”

Seungkwan frowned and took the phone from Seokmin, “You're no fun.”

“It’s not my life and I don’t really care for him so what’s the point?”

Eunbi laughed at this and slammed her drink dramatically, “Talking shit about someone is the fundamental of being a college student. It is our duty to fulfill it.”

“I thought our duty was getting good grades.”

“That’s second.”

Y/N raised her eyebrow and nodded her head, “Sure, Seokmin are you free next week?”

“I have a track meeting and then I have a meeting with a CEO my dad set up.”

Y/N frowned at this and nodded her head, “Boring. I’m going to be at this party all by myself.”

Seungkwan pouted at this and looked at Y/N, “I’m going to be there too.”

“Trying to show off to your aunt which means I’m going to be left alone.”

“I don’t show off...”

“You do.”

“You didn’t have to answer all at the same time.”

Taehyung sat down with annoyance and Jimin raised his eyebrow at this, “What’s wrong?”

“My mom.”

Hoseok raised his eyebrow at this and chuckled, “Your mom is an angel.”

“She can be but she can be a devil.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes and took a bite of his food, “What did she do?”

“A fortune-teller told her that I would fall in love in two months, so she told my grandma I have a girlfriend.”

Seokjin let out a laugh and covered his mouth, “That’s unfortunate for you.”

“Shut up, at least I have a choice in my wife.”

“Someone is on their period.”

Taehyung sighed and started playing with his rice, “I’m sorry. I just don’t want to see my grandma sad when she sees me with no girlfriend.”

“You can always have a fake girlfriend.”

Taehyung glanced at Yoongi and thought about it, “I didn’t think of that...”

Jungkook let out a laugh and leaned to his side kissing Bora on her cheek, “Watching you struggle is funny.”

Bora hit his thigh and shook her head at her boyfriend. She glanced at Taehyung with a small smile, “There’s dating apps. You can always use that and put in a bio you need a fake girlfriend.”

“I guess I can do that.”

Jimin nodded his head and clapped his hands, “See it’s that easy. Bora, did you see you were an article by Pen.”

Bora frowned at this and nodded her head, “I saw this and I made the decision to ignore it. It’s upsetting to know that people know the insides of my relationship and to make me look like a charity case but I know the truth.”

Jungkook nodded his head and placed his hand on her thigh, “It’s just meaningless gossip.”

“But gossip is so fun.”

Y/N walked down the hall with Eunbi getting ready for their next class. As they walked down the hall, Taehyung and Jimin were going the opposite way. Taehyung walked past Y/N and he glanced down at her. He raised his eyebrow when she didn’t even give him a second glance. He stood still while Jimin stood there in confusion, “What?”

He stared at Y/N not knowing anything about her, “Nothing...nothing.”

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･

Eunbi and Seungkwan sat in Y/N’s bedroom as they set up a dating profile for their friend. Y/N went to go pick up food and they thought this was the perfect time to make it. Eunbi snatched the phone out of Seungkwan’s hand and shook her head, “God, that’s not a good picture of her. Use the one when we went to your friend's party. She had that purple dress.”

“This isn’t real Eunbi. We’re just doing this so she can have a fake boyfriend.”

“You can at least treat it like it’s real. There’s better pictures of her and you should use them. She needs someone hot.”

Seungkwan raised his eyebrow at this and shook his head, “Is this for her or for you?”

“Both.”

Y/N entered her house, throwing the keys in the bowl. Y/N didn’t live with her mother and she thanked god for that. She couldn’t hear her mother going on and on about her future. It was annoying. She took her shoes off and went towards her cat, Socks. She walked towards her bedroom and opened the door, “I got the sandwiches.” She jumped when she heard a loud bang and raised her eyebrow when she saw Eunbi’s phone on the floor, “What the hell?”

“We were looking at Pen’s new post and you scared us.”

She nodded her head and shrugged her shoulders, “That’s what you get for being involved in other people’s lives.”

Seungkwan glanced at Eunbi and let out a nervous laugh, “Yeah...”

Eunbi grabbed her phone and smiled when saw the profile get uploaded, “Everything always turns out good.”

Taehyung was in his bedroom on his phone. He was scrolling through Instagram and he stopped on Seungkwan’s post. He’s met him once or twice but he was pretty cool. He zoomed in on the picture and saw the girl he saw in the hallway. He thought her name was Y/N but he wasn’t sure. There were no tags on the picture. He clicked on Seungkwan’s icon and saw multiple posts with her and he finally found one that had tags with her username. He clicked on her profile and was looking through her pictures.

“What are you looking at?”

He jumped and looked to see Jimin with his arms crossed, “Nothing.”

“Really? I saw that smile you have when you see someone hot. Show me.”

“Get lost shorty.”

The next day, Y/N was by herself in the library studying for an upcoming test. It wasn’t until she heard one of the chair moves. She looked up from her book and raised her eyebrow when saw Jimin sitting there with a smile on his face. She took off her headphones and tilted her head, “Can I help you?”

“Are you Y/N?”

“Why?”

Jimin shrugged his shoulders and leaned forward making her pull back, “He usually doesn’t like...I’m Jimin.”

She nodded her head and put her headphones back in, “That’s cool. Are you studying or just bothering me?”

He let out a small chuckle and nodded his head, “Can you do something for me?”

“Oh god...what?”

“It’s for a friend.”

Taehyung entered the library with a confused look. Jimin doesn’t go to the library, why does he want to meet in the library? It was weird. He continued his way through the silence but froze when he saw who Jimin was talking to, “That little fucker...” Taehyung made his way towards Jimin with haste. He knew Jimin wouldn’t leave this alone after last night, he never listened to him.

“You like Y/N? Seungkwan’s friend?

Taehyung rolled his eyes and stood up from his bed with annoyance. He tried snatching his phone back but somehow Jimin was faster than him, “I don’t like her. I just saw her in the hallway and thought she was cute.”

“Interesting.”

“You want me to be Taehyung’s fake girlfriend?”

Taehyung stopped in his tracks and his mouth dropped, “Jimin, what the hell are you doing?”

Jimin looked over his shoulders and gave his friend a smirk, “Helping out your situation.”

Taehyung glanced at Y/N who was looking at them with an annoyed look, “I’m not saying yes but I want to hear the reasoning.”

She was looking straight at Taehyung and he felt nervous under her stare, “I saw you on Instagram...I just thought you were cute and Jimin took that into his own hands.”

She nodded her head and picked up her stuff, “I kinda figured. The answer is no and leave me alone.”

Taehyung watched her leave and his mouth was wide, “Did she just reject me?”

“Technically she rejected me.”

“Jimin, shut up. She just rejected me, what the hell?”

Jimin let out a laugh and leaned back in his chair, “Not everyone has to like you.”

Y/N walked down the stairs but was stopped when she felt a tap on her shoulders. She turned around to see a panting Taehyung and she raised her eyebrow at this, “Dude, what?”

“Please be my fake girlfriend.”

“Huh? I just said-”

“I know you said no but I-I just need someone. Please.”

She leaned against the railing and a small smirk appeared, “What do I get?”

“What do you want?”

“You don’t have an offer?”

Taehyung let out an irritated sigh and looked down at his shoes for a second. Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. He looked back up and shrugged his shoulders, “Just tell me what you want?”

“I need you to be my fake boyfriend for this party and I would also like tickets to Japan for a vacation. I deserve it after being with you.”

“You want a vacation? Do you think being my fake girlfriend would be that-”

“Yes, because it's you.”

Taehyung tilted his head and crossed his arms over his chest, “What do you mean by that?”

“You sleep with everyone and break girls' hearts. Do I need to draw a picture for you?”

“You're very blunt.”

“It’s obvious you only have yes men. If you don’t want to give me that ticket to Japan and a nice hotel, bye I have to go study and stop following myself.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes and nodded his head, “Fine, I’ll give you a trip. How many tickets?”

“Three.”

“Fine but starting now you're my girlfriend.”

She cringed at the word and scoffed at this, “Don’t ever call me your girlfriend. Fake or not, I don’t want to associate that with me.”

“Being someone’s girlfriend? Relationships are fun.”

“How do you know that? Anyways, bye.”

She started walking away and Taehyung grabbed her wrist, “Do we have a deal?”

“We have a deal. Now let me go.”

He let her go and put his hands in his pockets nervously, “Sorry. Can we meet up Friday at Supernova’s?”

“Sure.”

He watched her leave and knew he wanted to prove something to her. He was going to prove that he could be a great boyfriend and prove her wrong about relationships. He wanted to change her view of him and he wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much that she saw him like that. It made him feel uneasy. He barely knew her. Why should he care?

Y/N took a sip of her water and stared at Taehyung who was nervously playing with his fries. It’s been quiet for five minutes and she wasn’t going to be the first person to say anything but this was getting ridiculous. She took out her phone and went to send a text to Seungkwan but stopped when Taehyung let out a small cough, “So...girlfriend.”

“My name is Y/N, use it.”

He nodded his head, “Sorry, Y/N. We have to act like a couple in front of people so stop looking at me like I’m the devil.”

“It’s really hard to ignore the horns.”

He let out a chuckle and shook his head, “Can we be friends at least? It would make it easier.”

Last week, Y/N found herself in Seungkwan’s bedroom listening to him talking about the person in front of her. She heard everything from her best friend’s mouth. Rumors are rumors and she knew this. This was her philosophy and it would be hypocritical of her to listen to the rumors. She had no idea how to deal with the playboy but she was willing to take a chance, “Friends...Sure.”

She watched a boxy smile appear on his face and she noted how bright his eyes looked. There was a touch of mystery behind those brown irises. It was interesting to see how bright they can be. She took a sip of her water and took her phone out, “I have to go, Eunbi needs my help.”

He watched her lick her lips and his eyes couldn’t leave them. The feeling that was erupting was something he never felt. It was annoying. He shook his head and nodded his head, “Since we're friends, can I have your number?”

“I suppose since we're friends. Don’t give it out to anyone.”

Don’t worry about that. I wouldn’t want anyone else having it, “I won’t. Trust me.”

She showed her phone to him and he glanced at the numbers. His eyes slowly went towards her face and he noted how the sun highlighted her face. It showcased her eye color perfectly while showing off her lips. He let out a small cough and sent her a quick message. She smiled at this and put her phone away, “Since we're friends, you should come to Seungkwan’s game tomorrow.”

“To-Tomorrow?”

She nodded her head and slid out of the booth, “Since we have to fake being together, it would make sense for you to be with me there. He is my best friend. Remember?”

“Yes, best friend. Do you want me to pick you up?”

She stood by the table and nodded her head, “Nothing too fancy. We don’t want girls flocking to you. I’ll see you tomorrow, Taehyung.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.”

He watched her leave the cafe and he continued to do so through the glass. He watched the plaid shirt around her waist sway with each step she took. He never noticed how good her legs looked in jeans. There was also something about the way she walked, it was filled with confidence. He cracked his neck and look down at his fries, What the fuck?

“Eunbi, what’s wrong?”

Y/N opened her bedroom to see Eunbi sitting there with a smile, “I have good news.”

“I also have news but you go first.”

Eunbi sat up with her phone in her hands. She turned the phone to show her a picture of Taehyung causing Y/N to raise her eyebrow, “What?”

“He swiped for you. He’s interested in you.”

Y/N let out a laugh and took the phone out of her hand, “You signed me up for a dating app?”

“It worked! What's your good news?”

“Taehyung is my fake boyfriend.”

Eunbi stared at her with pure shock and her mouth dropped, “Kim Taehyung? The famous-”

“Yes, he needed a fake girlfriend so it worked out.”

“Your mom was-”

“Don’t finish that sentence.”

Y/N waited outside her building and she was scrolling on her phone. Taehyung said he would be coming in ten minutes and knowing he was rich (his car would be fast). She hated making people wait. She heard the gates open and she looked up to be pleasantly surprised to see a dark blue Nissan pulling up to her. The window came down to show off Taehyung wearing sunglasses and his boxy smile, “What?”

“I wasn’t expecting a Nissan...I was expecting that BMW that everyone talks about.”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Well not everyone knows I have a Nissan.”

“Does that make me special?”

“You are special.”

They made eye contact and Y/N felt her chest feel lighter at the comment. Compliments come and go but this one stayed with her. It stayed with her longer than it should. She let out a small laugh and nodded her head, “All ready to see Seungkwan play?”

“Yes, I am. Let me get to the door.”

She rolled her eyes as she watched Taehyung quickly unbuckle himself and rush to open her side. She let out a small laugh and bowed to him, “Thank you for being a gentleman.”

“Anything for my lady.”

The drive was pleasant. There wasn’t a lot of talking but it didn’t bother her too much. The jazz music played in the background as she watched nature out her window. Every now and then, Taehyung would glance at her through his mirror and would smile to himself. A smile that he didn’t even realize was on his face.

“Seungkwan!”

Seungkwan turned around with a smile but it quickly changed into a confused one when he saw Taehyung standing next to her, “H-Hey, thanks for coming?”

Y/N glanced at Taehyung and chuckled at Seungkwan’s nervousness, “This is my plus one that I told you about.”

Seungkwan stared at him with shock and stuck his out to shake, “I’m Seungkwan-”

“I know who you are. No need to introduce yourself as a star badminton player.”

Y/N watched Seungkwan’s face blush and she smiled with pride, “Seungkwan is a star on the court. He needs to be reminded by others and not just his friends.”

“Y/N...”

She heard his coach and she smiled at him, “Good luck.”

Taehyung smiled at him and patted his back gently, “Good luck.”

“Thanks, I'll see you later.”

Y/N watched him run off and she turned toward Taehyung with a smile, “Thank you.”

“For?”

“Boosting up his confidence. He doesn’t believe me when I say it.”

Taehyung shrugged his shoulders at this, “He’s your best friend. I’ll show him my support.”

“Well, it meant a lot to me. Thank you.”

They walked towards the stands and Taehyung glanced down to see their fingers touching. He wanted to intertwine their fingers together but he had to stop himself. He notices all the moles along her arm and the little cuts that tell a story. A story that he wanted to know. There was something about Y/N that he wanted to know so desperately. It was like a man that needed water. He glanced up to her face and the moles decorated her face like a castle with flowers. It was a sight to be seen. She was something he has never seen before and he wanted to capture all the different expressions she has. This was a feeling he has never had before and it was making him feel sick.

Y/N sat down with Taehyung following. She glanced at him and pulled out a bag of Skittles, “Want some?”

He glanced down at the candy and then back at her with a mischievous look, “You can get in trouble with that?”

She tilted her head at him with a smirk, “Are you going to tell on me?”

“Maybe I should so you can be taught a lesson.”

She rolled her eyes and popped a red skittle in her mouth, “No fun.”

“Don’t worry I also brought some snacks. Do you like sea salt chips?”

“I should tell you. You do know the best chips are the ones in the green bag?”

Taehyung let out a laugh and shook his head, “Of course you like spicy chips. It matches your personality.”

“Are you saying I'm spicy?

“It comes in waves, a person with boldness with different levels that captures the whole room. With that fiery attitude and that fire in their eyes. A spicy personality to make it known who you are. It’s admirable.”

She let out a laugh and shook her head, “You're so weird...a good weird though.”

“Does that mean your opinion of me has changed?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･

It’s been a week and every day, Y/N and Taehyung would spend time together to get to know each other. Every night, Taehyung would drive her to the river and they would just talk as the stars listened. Every morning, Y/N would make him breakfast and they would sit in the park near school listening to jazz. There were quiet moments but it didn’t feel uncomfortable if Taehyung accepted it. He didn’t get a lot of those in his normal life. Y/N relished in their quiet moments because it taught her more about Taehyung than his words could ever do.

Today was Seungkwan's Aunt's party and it was their first event to act like a couple. She was nervous that everyone was going to know she was lying. A piece of her wanted to run away and she never wants to run away. She always faced challenges head first but this was different. Seungkwan’s aunt loved to bring up the fact that her father left her. It was known throughout the families that Y/N was basically parentless and they would throw it at her whenever they could. Her mother made her rich but she also barely took care of the girl, she had to be her own parent. When people use the past to insult you in the future, it hurts more when it isn’t your fault.

She stared at herself with doubt. She was dressed in a light blue ballerina dress that had floral beadwork all around. When she turned the skirt would shine under the light and it made her feel seen. She put her hair up in a high bun with pearl earrings when she heard a knock at the door. She glanced at it and felt comfort knowing who it was. She carefully made her way with her heels clicking away on her floor and she opened it with a smile, “You're early.”

Taehyung shrugged his shoulders and passed her flowers, “I was too excited to get you these.”

She glanced down at the red tulips and smiled to herself, “Red tulips? Is there a reason?”

Taehyung shrugged and leaned against the doorframe, “It’s a secret.”

“We’re keeping secrets now? Come in.” He walked in and his eyes drifted to the delicate fabric on her body. The dress showed off her collarbones and the way she looked so elegant. It was something he wasn’t used to from her. She set the tulips down on her coffee table and glanced at Taehyung, “What?”

“Come here, please.” She gave him a raised eyebrow but did what he asked. He gently grabbed the hand and smiled at her, “Twirl for me.”

She did a twirl and when came back to face him, she asked, “Do you like it?”

“Like it, I love it.”

“You flatter me.”

“You deserve it.”

She smiled at this and glanced down at their fingers and let out a small cough. She gently removed her fingers and went to her kitchen ignoring her heart, “Do you want some water?”

“That would be great.”

The building was always grand. Seungkwan’s aunt always did this for him (even though he hated it). She claimed she wanted to show off her nephew's talents but in reality, it was to network. It was almost always to network for her company and she was just using Seungkwan as a cover-up. Seungkwan’s parents never noticed because they were too kind. Far too kind to be related to that witch.

They entered the building and everyone was dressed in their nice clothing. Businessmen with their ties a little too tight and wives that had blood-red lipstick smirking at you to feel small. It was like this every year. There was something about the room that made the confidence that Y/N usually had been completely wiped away.

“Are you okay, Y/N?”

She turned towards Taehyung and gave him a fake smile, “I’m okay...well I’m going to be. You’re good company.

Taehyung could sense that Y/N wasn’t feeling like herself. He intertwined their fingers together and rubbed her knuckles gently, “I’ll be here for you okay.”

“O-Okay.”

She quickly finds Seungkwan and Eunbi with Taehyung by her side. She gave them hugs and relief was written on her face, “You look beautiful, Y/N.”

“Thank you Seungkwan. You look good too.”

“Well if it isn’t L/N.”

Y/N felt that shiver and she slowly turned around to see Seungkwan’s aunt looking her up and down. Disapproval written all over her face, “Good-”

“I see you brought someone for once.”

Y/N glanced at Taehyung and nodded her head, “I’m sorry for the late-”

“I’m shocked you can get someone as good-looking as him. Especially when you're fatherless. It's shocking.”

Taehyung glared at the older woman and walked to be in front of Y/N with annoyance on his face, “Please don’t talk about my girlfriend like that when I am present. If you're going to insult one of us then insult me for I picked the wrong socks for the occasion.”

Y/N stared at him with wide eyes not knowing what to say but she felt her heartbeat louder. Seungkwan’s aunt tilted her head at him and studied his face, “Kim Taehyung, from the Kim family. It’s an honor to meet you.”

“I wish I could say the same. You insulted my girlfriend and now you’re trying to kiss my feet. Do you have no shame?”

Seungkwan’s aunt glanced down at her shoes and cleared her throat, “Is your father here? I would love to talk to him.”

“He is not but I am. The answer will be no. No matter what question you ask, it will be no. Y/N, let’s have a dance.”

Taehyung grabbed her wrist and they quickly made their way to the middle of the dancefloor. He wrapped his arm around her waist and they started to dance with the delicate strings filling the air. Y/N was in a state of shock at what just happened and Taehyung could sense that, “No one deserves that treatment.”

She looked at his face and shook her head, “It was said that it was my fault my father left...maybe I do deserve it.”

“It was his fault. He is not a man but a child. You deserve the world and I won’t let an old hag destroy that.”

He brought her in closer and she couldn’t help but smile, “You're passionate.”

“When it comes to you, yes.”

She let out a small laugh and looked away from his brown eyes, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

She glanced back and they continued to stare, “I’m not sure but stop it.”

“I can’t help it. I’m just looking at you.”

After two more dances, Taehyung took her out to the garden and they stood next to each other with flowers around. The moon shone in the water fountain as they sat on the white stone. Y/N’s fingertips gently touched the water and smiled, “You know this is the first time I had fun at Seungkwan's aunt’s party.”

“Did I do it justice?”

“You did. I actually danced usually I just stayed in the back avoiding her but tonight I actually danced. It felt nice.”

He smiled and picked up a rose. He placed it in her lap and glanced at the stars, “I’m glad. Would you like to dance with me now?”

She glanced down at the rose and then back at him, “There’s no music. How will we dance?”

“We don’t need music to dance. We have each other to do so.”

She placed the rose on the stone and slowly stood up with Taehyung. He smiled at her and they slowly started dancing under the stars. His hand was on her waist as she avoided his eyes. There was something there but she couldn’t figure it out. The feeling in her chest was becoming too strong and she wanted to run away but it was as if Taehyung knew this, so he held on to her tighter. Their eyes met and he couldn’t help smiling and she returned it. It felt good to smile and it also made her sick.

“Mom, why are you here?”

Y/N was in her living room reading up for her test when there was a knock at the door. She was expecting Seungkwan or Eunbi but there she was with her mom. It’s been two weeks since the party so she expected them to come forward with some tea. Y/N sat on the couch with an annoyed look as her mother sat there with a smudged look, “Everything's coming together.”

“What is?”

“You're falling in love, can’t you see it.”

Y/N frowned at this and stood up, “I think it's time for you to go.”

“Falling in love can be beautiful. Just let it happen.”

“Are you trying to be my mother? Now? Where was this when I was younger?”

Y/N’s mother frowned at this and stood up, “I’m trying to give you advice. Falling in love can change the world.”

“Then why did dad leave? You give love advice to everyone but you can’t even follow it.”

“I told your father to leave because he wanted nothing to do with me.”

Y/N frowned at this and stared at her mother in shock, “What about me? I’m his daughter. Did he not want me?”

“I kept you-”

“You kept him away from me. Didn’t you?” The silence in the room made it clear to Y/N and she nodded her head at this, “I think it’s time for you to go.”

“Just fall in love, Y/N.”

Y/N opened the door and she was met with those brown eyes, “Taehyung? What are you doing here?”

“I came to visit you. I had to tell you something...”

“Are you Kim Taehyung? I told your mother that you were going to fall in love this month. How is it going?”

Y/N’s mother pushed past her and looked at Taehyung with a smile, “Your mother was excited to know her son was going to fall in love.”

Taehyung glanced at her and then back at Y/N, “Y/N, who is this?”

“This is my mother....”

Taehyung looked at her mother and then back at her, “Your mother is a fortune teller...the fortune teller that told my mother I would fall in love, and then I met you a month later...”

Y/N scoffed at this and looked at Taehyung, “Are you saying I set this up?”

Taehyung's eyes widened at this and shook his head, “That’s not what I’m saying. In fact the opposite.”

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N, I’m in love with you.”

Y/N stared at Taehyung with a shocked face and shook her head, “You can’t love a person like me...I have nothing. My mother and father both left me. What do I have to offer?”

“You offer me so much that I can’t even put it into words.”

“Y/N, this is love.”

Y/N shook her head and stared at her mother with anger, “You need to go. I can’t do this.”

“He just told you he love-”

“GO. NOW.”

Y/N watched her mother leave and then she glanced at Taehyung with a frown as tears started to form. Taehyung stood his ground and looked at her, “Y/N...I’m in love with you. You are the stars at night that keep the moon company. You are forever on my mind. When the sun makes its way or even when the moon appears, you always appear. I crave sleep because I know I can always see you. Y/N-”

“Tae...I simply can’t”

Taehyung glanced at his shoes and then back at her, “Is it because you won’t let yourself feel love?”

“I can’t do this right-”

“Y/N, please. Give me a chance.”

She stared at him and a single tear fell, “Don’t do this to me.”

“Y/N, I want you. In the short amount of time that I have been with you, I have learned so much. Please Y/N. We can be scared together.”

Y/N bit her lip and more tears came down, “Please...”

Taehyung nodded his head and took a step back, “I’ll be waiting for you...”

She watched him leave and quickly closed the door. She leaned against the wood and fell to the floor with tears coming down. Her mind is telling her to focus on her school but her heart wants Taehyung. It only wants him...but she is so scared to be in love. She can’t be left alone again.

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･

Sometimes silence can be the greatest enemy. Y/N sat on her bed as she stared outside her window. The day was beautiful, not a cloud to be seen but her heart felt clouded. The look on Taehyung’s face was sketched into her heart and it made her feel sick. Was she making the right decision?

There was a knock at the door and she slowly got up from her bed. Not even caring to look through the peephole to see who it was, she opened the door. She let out a deep sigh and leaned against the door frame, “Mother now is not the time.”

“This is the time. You need me.”

Y/N glanced at her shoes and shook her head, “You won’t listen to me. Come in.”

They both sat on her couch while Y/N stared at the wall with an emotionless stare. While her mother looked at her with concern, “Y/N, the truth about your father...”

“Mom, I don’t think I want to hear it.”

“Please.”

Y/N looked up to see her mom’s face twist into a serious face and she nodded her head, “Okay...”

“Your father never loved me. He made that very clear. He just picked me because he knew I was the easiest to marry. When I became pregnant with you it was the happiest day of my life but he was the opposite. He wanted a son and I was afraid that he would...he would hurt you. He visited and acted like your dad until you were six, I had enough. It wasn’t fair for you. I told him to leave and never come back...and that’s what he did.”

Y/N stared at her mother with wide eyes and guilt creeping up her throat, “Why did you let me hate you for so long?”

“I felt like I deserved it. I made you think your father loved when in reality he never loved you....I’m so sorry.”

“No mom, I’m sorry.”

Her mom stood up and sat next to her grabbing her hands. She put her hands into her lap and smiled, “When I saw that my daughter was going to fall in love, I felt so happy.”

“I don’t think it's going to work out..”

“Nonsense, do you see how he looked at you?”

Y/N glanced up at her mother and shook her head, “No...I didn’t.”

“He looked at you as if you were his summer sky after a long winter. He loves you.”

“I can’t be capable of that.”

“Why?”

“I’m so stubborn...I put my foot down so fast that I can’t even think. I’m...I’m scared to love him. Not because he’s a bad man, the opposite really. He’s a great man. It’s rare to find that...I’m broken and I’ve been left alone for so long. Why would anyone love something broken? I couldn’t even get my own father to love me? How could I hold something so delicate?”

Y/N’s mom frowned at this and pushed hair behind her hair from her forehead, “That’s what love is. You take that chance and the person you chose to love makes a beautiful painting. Even through the hard times, the painting gets more colors. You deserve to be loved and cherished. Don’t let fear hold you back. Be in love, Y/N.”

Y/N looked away with a tear escaping and she let out a sour laugh, “Do you think he would want me still?”

“I know he does?”

“Why because you're a fortune teller?”

“No, because I’m your mother. For once in your life, do something for yourself.”

After the conversation with her mother, Y/N ran to Eunbi’s house not caring what shoes she had on. She knocked on the door to see Eunbi and Seungkwan looking at her with curious eyes, “Are you okay, you haven’t called us?”

Y/N nodded her head, “I need help to get ready for a party...I need to tell Taehyung something important.”

Seungkwan raised his eyebrow, “What is it?”

“That I love him...I’m still scared but I want to be scared with him. I want him...I want him so bad that I-I can’t even explain it. I need help.”

Seungkwan smiled at this and nodded his head, “I’m so happy you finally figured it out...Let’s get you ready.”

Eunbi opened the door wider and clapped her hands, “You need to wear lavender.”

“Why?”

“Taehyung loves lavender...duh.”

Taehyung stood next to Jimin as he stared down at his shoes with an emotionless face. Jimin sighed and nudged his shoulder, “Think of the positive...you get to see your grandma.”

“I have missed her. I wish she could’ve met Y/N.”

Jimin rubbed his shoulders gently and gave him a soft smile, “Breakups are hard. I should know.”

“This wasn’t even a breakup. It was me finally meeting the right person but it never goes my way.”

The door opened and Taehyung’s mother came in with a smile, “The party is starting. Your grandma is excited to see you.”

Taehyung nodded his head, “I’m excited to see her as well.”

His mother frowned and walked towards him to fix his tie. She fixed his hair and smiled, “Just remember the night has just begun.”

“Mom, she’s not coming...”

“You don’t know that to be true. So, just wait.”

Taehyung and Jimin made their way downstairs. His grandma was talking to a small group of people and hearing her laugh made him smile. Ever since his grandpa passed away it was rare to hear that laugh. He continued to walk towards her but he stopped in his tracks when he heard a familiar voice. He ignored Jimin’s voice and made his way through the group of people. He stood there frozen when he saw her.

Y/N turned towards him and gave him a gentle wave, “I didn’t want you to wait any longer....”

Taehyung glanced at his grandma who gave him an approved smile, “Grandma, I’m going to take Y/N.”

“Go right ahead.”

Taehyung’s grandma watched with a smile on her face. She turned towards her daughter and smiled, “Is she the one?”

Taehyung’s mom smiled and nodded her head, “I believe so.”

“I hope he is happy.”

Jimin walked towards them with a wine glass in his hand, “I know he is.”

Taehyung grabbed her wrist and made their way to the library where no one would be. He touched his finger to her chin as the light detailed out her face. Her eyes held anticipation and her lips were the perfect shape. He was glad no one noticed them. He smiled and this smile was as wide as the Cheshire cat.

“Taehyung...” She whispered and the softness of her voice made him want to fall to his knees.

He leaned in with their foreheads together, “Yes?”

“I-I love you...”

He smiled at this and brought his lips to hers, the gentleness that he wanted to showcase was taken over with hunger. He kissed her with a passion that he didn’t even know he had. This wasn’t about sex, this was about love. Love in its purest form.

“Taehyung?” Y/N gasped as he was gently pushing her down onto the sofa. He was kissing her jaw and then her neck, “Taehy-”

He smiled to himself when he nipped her earlobe and removed himself from her to stare down at her, “Yes?”

“I just-”

He kissed her again with the desire that was harboring in his chest. His hands went under the hem of her dress and looked back up at her, “Yes, my love?”

“Nothing. Continue.”

He pressed his hips against her and let the moon shine through the windows blush at the sight. He slid his hand over the soft skin of her thigh and then towards her stomach, “Don’t leave me.”

“I would never leave you. I will stand by you from now on.”

Taehyung smiled at this and leaned forward kissing her neck. His large hands cups her face as his thumb traced her jawline. He pressed his lips to hers as he slipped his tongue between their lips. She moaned into the kiss digging her fingers into his suit jacket. His warm lips were new but somehow they felt so familiar, “We can’t take off our clothes...someone can walk in.”

He frowned at this and kissed her forehead, “I’ll make it quick then. I’ll take you back to my apartment and show you properly.”

“Who said I’ll go home with you?”

He rolled his eyes and unbuckled his belt in record time. He unzipped his pants and glanced at her, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

His fingers toyed around her underwear before pulling it down to her ankles. She bucked her hips forward and he couldn’t help but smirk. He went under her dress skirt and started to place kisses around her clit, sucking it. A breathless moan left her lips as his fingers ran up and down her folds, “Taeee~.”

“I need to make sure you're ready for me, love.”

His fingers became coated in her arousal and she felt her body becoming tingly. He pulled away and she frowned at this. He leaned forward placing a kiss on her collarbone, “Don’t look too upset, you're going to come on my cock.”

He dragged the red tip along her wet folds causing her to whimper at the touch. She was already so sensitive. He switched positions and had her on top making things easier. She gripped onto his shoulders, guiding him into her. “O-Oh, please Tae.” He kissed the side of her head and groaned when she sank down fully.

The two panted heavily, relishing the moment before he started to move his hip. His mind takes over as he feels her clench at every movement. The sound of skin slapping echoed in the room that would make anyone blush. It wasn’t time to be shy.

“Look at you, just for me and only for me.”

He brushed soft kisses across her collarbones, thrusting in and out. His chest is pressed against hers as hands intertwine with each other. He clenched his jaw and leaned down to bring her into a passionate kiss. She pushed him gently and groaned, “Tae, can I come?”

“Yes, you can love.”

He swiftly thrusts into her and this was it for her. She arched her back and he smirked when he felt her cum go onto his pants. He continued to thrust into her and he kissed the side of her head as she wrapped her arms around his neck, “You did so good for me.” He let out a breathy groan and he couldn’t help himself from coming in her. She moaned at the feeling and they kissed as they moaned into each other's mouths.

When they pulled away she smiled at him, “I would like to go to your house.”

“Anything for you.” He leaned down and kissed the moles on her wrist.

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*

“Taehyung?”

Taehyung turned around and raised his eyebrow, “Jennie?”

It was the start of a new semester and something Taehyung wasn’t looking forward to. He was in line to pick up his tea when he felt a tap on his shoulders. He was surprised to see Jennie looking at him as if she was begging him, “You never texted me back.”

“What? That was like four months ago, I thought that would be clear.”

Jennie frowned at this and crossed her arms over her chest, “I thought you wanted me. We could always spend time at the pool. I know you liked it there.”

“Listen, Jennie, I-”

“Babe.”

Jennie turned around to see Y/N smiling at Taehyung. Y/N walked past Jennie and hugged Taehyung. She kissed his cheek and turned towards Jennie with a raised eyebrow, “And you are?”

“I’m Jennie, who are you?”

Y/N smirked at this and kissed Taehyung’s neck. When she looked back at Jennie she smirked, “I’m his girlfriend.”

After the party for his grandmother, Taehyung asked Y/N out. It was a beautiful confession, I love you and I’m not used to love but I want to learn with you. I know you're scared of love but I am too. Let’s conquer this fear together. I love you Y/N. How could Y/N say no? Taehyung did keep his promise. He gave the tickets to Japan to her but they went together with his mother. The small vacation was enjoyable. It made Taehyung happy to know his mother loves his girlfriend.

Everyone at school was shocked about him being in a relationship. He understood why. Y/N’s friends were equally shocked because Y/N was so against relationships for the longest of times. It was clear to everyone that they were in love with each other and nothing was going to change that.

They went to visit Y/N’s mother and he tried his best to keep the peace.

“I can see a wedding in the future and five kids.”

Y/N rolled their eyes and intertwined her fingers with his, “Mom, no fortune telling. I’m trying to have a good lunch with you for once.”

“I can’t help it if I see it.” Y/N’s mom leaned forward towards Taehyung and smiled, “You like the name Aria?”

Taehyung nodded his head slowly, “Yes?”

“I love that name for my future granddaughter.”

“MOM!”

Seungkwan and Eunbi stopped reading Pen’s articles after they saw Y/N’s name. It wasn’t fun anymore when someone you cared about was being talked down to. Y/N was glad they stopped reading the trash. She still didn’t understand how Pen knew some things but she wasn’t going to think too much about it.

She smiled when she saw Jennie’s face drop when she said this. Jennie looked around her awkwardly and just left the scene. Y/N smiled at this and looked up to Taehyung, “I don’t think she likes me?”

“Who cares? I love you.”

“And I love you.

────°˖✧ ✧˖°────────°˖✧ ✧˖°────

Tag List:

@sumzysworld @whoa-jo

#bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts jungkook #bts namjoon #bts seokjin #bts taehyung #bts jimin #bts yoongi #bts x reader #Bts #taehyung x reader #bts taehyung x reader #bts fanfction #bts fanfic

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daisyswift3 · 1 day

Text

The Acceptance Stage of Grief—The Manuscript and Guilty as Sin

So I realized sth crazy recently. I think the 🎃 messages describe the 5 stages of grief; and I think the standard edition and The Manuscript variant of TTPD have the album cover they do bc it’s a play on the common expression “You’ve made your bed now lie in it" which means to accept the unpleasant results of your actions. This aligns w the Apple Music playlists Taylor made that have The Manuscript as part of the acceptance stage of grief. However, I will caveat this by saying that I don't think the Apple Music playlists are completely accurate as they are full of red herrings to throw everyone off (I'll explain this in more detail shortly) but I do think The Manuscript is one of the few songs that is properly placed and is not a red herring since the bed imagery and connections to the 🎃 messages indicate it represents acceptance. I think the messages not only give us Taylor's overarching story spanning the past decade, they also give us the true 5 stages of grief that are separate from the 5 stages of grief given in the playlists which are mainly for marketing and pr purposes. The messages are likely meant to be a navigation tool for us to more easily cut through all the noise, red herrings, and chaos that has come w TTPD's release (x)(x)(x). In the messages I just linked, 🎃 and 🫚 make it clear that there is a very specific reason why they sent this korner messages explaining the whole messy story. I believe this reason may be related to the TTPD epilogue because in it Taylor is essentially saying she’s at the mercy of the general public and her fans as she’s on trial in a court of public opinion; and I think our role is to serve as the “witnesses” to help her win this case and prove that she didn’t completely lie abt everything because otherwise how would this small group of ppl on tumblr have figured it out yrs ago? I think it’s possible that after coming out Taylor may direct ppl to this korner to prove that the truth was there hidden in plain sight the whole time if you were just willing to dig a little deeper past the surface level interpretations.

In this album cover, Taylor is literally lying in a bed that she’s made bc she is accepting whatever the consequences of her actions are. The story isn’t hers anymore, she’s sent it out into the world like a message in a bottle and now it’s just a matter of time. Come what may. This is the end of the 9th 🎃 message and I believe all of the 10th message as well since she chooses to step through the closet door accepting whatever fate lies on the other side. This connects to the most recent volcano anon message as well (x). I think the first part of the 9th message represents the depression stage of grief since it’s explaining that Taylor is a tortured poet because she is forced to hide her truth behind metaphors and red herrings which are likely the old habits that die screaming in The Black Dog, a common symbol of depression. In the fortnight mv, she is literally being tortured in an asylum w electroshock therapy (which is one of the same methods of conversion therapy they use to used on queer ppl) while a black dog lingers nearby.

In the Apple Music playlists, Taylor put The Black Dog in the anger playlist, but as I mentioned earlier I think this may be because the playlists are supposed to be more for swifties and to sell the Toe breakup narrative. Because, if you think abt it, it doesn't really make sense for The Black Dog, which is commonly used to represent depression, to symbolize anger. It also doesn't make sense for the acceptance stage playlist to be called I Can Do It With a Broken Heart when the song ICDIWABH is actually in the denial stage playlist. The math does not math. I think she was purposely trying to make it confusing for the general public and fans to make the puzzle harder to decipher so she gave them low hanging fruit. I think it's possible that the vinyl variants, which each have a bonus track that has a corresponding 🎃 message, are the actual 5 stages of grief. The Albatross = anger, The Bolter = bargaining, The Black Dog = depression, and The Manuscript = acceptance. I think it’s possible that she chose to only have 4 variants to make it harder to connect them to the 5 stages of grief and to make it look like the 5 stages of grief were just a last minute thing she threw together because she was running w swifties’ theories. But since the 5 stages of grief show up in the messages, it’s clear that this was sth she’s had planned for a while and it wasn’t just a last minute decision. I think that the denial stage may just be represented by a message and song.

“Six weeks of breathin' clean air, I still miss the smoke” -> The “smoke” is the smokescreen/Lavender Haze/blowing smoke/smoke and mirrors/bearding/pr stunts/red herrings/metaphors that she uses to cover up her truth like a magician pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes. She’s no longer going to use these tactics of trickery and deception but it’s not an easy habit to break when you’ve been doing it your whole life and it’s essentially your default state. Just like how it’s hard for a smoker to stop smoking cigarettes, which is probably another layer of this line making it a double entendre. I think this is what the lavender haze mv scene w her blowing smoke is meant to represent. As the clock gets closer to midnight she’s going to start this process of unraveling the “braids of lies” she’s woven over the years and it’s going to be a very difficult and painful process. I haven't done a full analysis of The Black Dog yet but I believe it's similar to TSMWEL, Peter, Fortnight, and Chloe et al where it's a conversation between Taylor the brand and Taylor the person. At the end of the song, Taylor the person finally chooses her happiness and her lover over her image/brand, which is the cause of her depression -> "Cause tail between your legs you're leaving and I still can't believe it cause old habits die screaming." She burns all the files and gets rid of her house which is likely the lover house. This is when she drags the "enemy" in the 8th message into the shark infested waters which I'll explain in the next paragraph.

The Bolter vinyl variant, represented by the entire 8th 🎃 message, is likely supposed to symbolize the bargaining stage of grief. I think she achieves part of the acceptance stage when she chooses to jump into the shark infested waters which may be why The Bolter edition also has her lying in a bed and why the 10th message (acceptance) seems to be a direct continuation of the 8th message. In the 8th message, the “enemy,” which is likely just Taylor herself or her public persona/reputation, is trying to make a deal w her—quite literally bargaining w her—and asking her lover to jump into the shark infested waters (destroy her reputation and get eaten alive by the fans and general public). Taylor refuses the deal since Karlie has been through enough already and jumps into the waters choosing to sacrifice her brand and image instead ->

“He [the enemy] was a cad, wanted her bad just like any good trophy hunter ['I've been the archer, I've been the prey'], And she liked the way it tastes, Taming a bear [Taylor’s made it clear she’s the bear], making him care, watching him jump then pulling him under, And at first blush this is fate, When it's all roses, portrait poses, Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats, What a charming Saturday, That's when she sees the littlest leaks down in the floorboards And she just knows she must bolt ['And you know in your soul when it's time to go']” //

8th 🎃 message: “You are not a hero. You never have been, and you never will be. You're a selfish asshole. But there are some people in this world worth breaking character for. And so in one swift motion [pun intended], you replace the solid boards beneath your feet with rushing deep blue water.”

10th 🎃 message: “You limp over uneven ground, smiling at the pain of the shark bite with each excruciating step - replaying the satisfying splash as you finally chose her over the world. As you grabbed the enemy and dove into the infested waters.”

The Apple Music playlists have The Bolter in the denial playlist but again I believe this is a red herring since the themes in the 8th message align more w the bargaining and acceptance stages.

(If you want to read more abt the connections to midsummer/midsommar see this excellent thread on the June 21/midsummer eve easter eggs)

I think this might also be what the bed imagery in Guilty As Sin and the Wildest Dreams eras tour visuals represents. She has accepted that when she reveals the truth many ppl, especially the conservative evangelical Christians, are probably gonna tell her she’s going to hell because she’s in a relationship w a woman, and figuratively burn her at the stake like the ppl accused of witchcraft and heresy in the middle ages were and this really ties in w all the religious imagery in this album -> “my bedsheets are ablaze” // “you’ll see me in hindsight tangled up with you all night burning it down" // BDILH eras tour visuals. We’ve discussed how in the TTPD epilogue she’s on trial in the court of public opinion and the jury is her fans and the general public. I think Guilty as Sin is her essentially saying “yes it’s true, I committed the crime of loving another woman; condemn me to hell if you want.” I find it interesting that it’s posed as a question “Guilty as Sin?” as if she’s asking the jury if they deem her worthy of punishment. It’s ultimately up to them to determine her fate and decide whether she’s guilty or not guilty. Some other kaylors pointed out that in the wildest dreams visuals Taylor looks completely at peace, sleeping soundly while everything burns around her. This likely symbolizes how she’s made peace w the fact that many fans may leave her and she may lose her career when she comes out—it indicates complete acceptance of any ensuing consequences.

(x)

But wait there’s more! I think there’s another layer to this song that relates to something very important she said in the rep prologue that many swifties conveniently ignore: “There will be slideshows of photos backing up each incorrect theory, because it's 2017 and if you didn't see a picture of it, it couldn't have happened right?” The obvious answer to this posed question, which is more rhetorical than anything, is NO. Why? Because “We think we know someone, but the truth is that we only know the version of them that they have chosen to show us” i.e. Taylor is only showing the public one side of herself w pap walks, staged photos, and social media posts and she can keep the other sides of herself hidden if she wants by just not doing these things. If she wants the public to know sth they will know abt it and if she doesn’t want them to know sth they won’t know abt it. Taylor knows that her fans have willfully ignored this message that she’s repeatedly tried to send to them over the years; so now she’s flipping the question on it’s head and using their inattentiveness to her advantage. She’s now saying “Well you guys never actually caught me and Karlie in the act, there’s no photographic or video evidence, so how can I be guilty as sin? I mean you said it yourself by ignoring this prologue. There is no picture; therefore it did not happen. So by your own logic I cannot be guilty!”

I also find it interesting that the bedsheets on the album cover and eras tour visuals are plain white 🤍. White is commonly a symbol of purity and innocence. This may be the purpose of the black and white aesthetic of TTPD—black for guilty 🖤, white for not guilty or innocent 🤍. The black and white may also relate to her duality and how she has 2 versions of herself that are in opposition to each other, Taylor Swift the person vs Taylor Swift the brand.

Just in case you got lost during my ramblings and tangents, I'll give you the tldr as well:

Beginning of 8th 🎃 message -> Bargaining stage: The Bolter; the enemy [Taylor Swift the brand/her reputation] wants to make a deal w her

Beginning of 9th 🎃 message -> Depression stage: The Black Dog; "old habits [red herrings/bearding/lavender haze/smoke and mirrors] die screaming"; Taylor is a tortured poet because she is forced to dilute her truth w metaphors, symbolism, and red herrings and this feeds into her depression

End of 8th and 9th 🎃 message and all of 10th 🎃 message -> Acceptance stage: The Manuscript and Guilty as Sin; she has made her bed and now is lying in it; represents the peaceful acceptance of any ensuing consequences; she has sent her story out into the world like a message in a bottle and made her case; now it is now up to her fans and the general public [the court of public opinion] to determine if she is guilty or not guilty; real Taylor has killed her old habits and the black dog by dragging her public persona into shark infested waters and burning down the lover house which represents her closet and music empire

Since this post is already lengthier than I wanted it to be I won't go into detail abt the denial and anger stages but I believe it's possible these are represented by the 1st and 2nd 🎃 messages respectively assuming the 5 stages of grief are in the usual order in the messages. The Albatross is obviously an angry song abt getting revenge on someone--most likely Scooter--so it makes sense for it to represent the anger stage; plus the same parachute metaphor that's in The Albatross shows up in the 2nd message which is related to the failed coming out and mastersheist which Scooter was involved in so it checks out. Then working backwards, this leaves the 1st message, which perfectly parallels The Prophecy, for the denial stage. I believe the 1st message is abt her first big pivot, her first failed coming out, during rep era (going full throttle on her getaway bike then slamming on the breaks which damages her heel) which was originally supposed to be lover/daylight. This would explain why she clips the wings of her TS6 jet and spray paints "reputation" on the side while wearing a palm tree outfit which relates to the palm tree/paradise easter eggs during lover era. I think this pivot may have been the thing that started this downward spiral through the 5 stages of grief hence why it represents the denial stage. Of course this is all just my interpretation of everything and I could be wrong. Feel free to share your thoughts, I'd love to hear other ppl's interpretations!

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mattodore · 9 months

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Did Matthias do anything illegal in his life? What I mean is morally unacceptable behavior that hurts people. If so, why did he do that?

I mean, has he killed someone? Has he beat someone up? How many times has he done it or has it only been occasionally? Do people find him rude? Should people be afraid of him?

I’ve said this about Matthias before, but he’s someone who’s had violent thoughts and urges ever since he was a child. I do think there’s a possible genetic factor at play there, but I also believe that the way he grew up left something chasmic in its wake, this gouge in his chest that he’s been clawing at ever since. Matthias was severely neglected as a child and his development was… slanted, for lack of a better word. There’s something warped in his head, you know? He’s a product of his upbringing.

To give you a picture of Matthias’s childhood, I want to make it clear that he never had any toys. His nursery was nothing more than a crib in a room. No bright colored walls, no alphabet blocks, no pop-up books. He didn’t play, or… not like most children, at least—not how you’d normally picture a child playing. His childhood was spent alone despite the sheer number of staff on the grounds of the estate. If Matthias reached for a hand or wanted comfort from a nanny or another member of the staff, he’d be pushed away. There was no emotional or physical warmth in the Evanoff household and a harsh line had been drawn between Matthias and everyone around him, including his parents, who he saw no more than a handful of times when he was young. What little socialization Matthias had was… well, it was nothing more than giving orders to attendants or having discussions with his tutors about the subjects he was studying. The staff were forbidden from interacting with Matthias more than was strictly necessary and the effect that had on him can’t be understated.

You can see, then, these early building blocks for cruelty being laid out. As a precocious child whose only real social connection with others was formed through analysis and study, it only made sense that Matthias found himself reaching for the books in his father’s library whenever he could, and through that those very same blocks began to stack. Play for Matthias was deconstructing humanity through history, through fiction, parsing through dense text in the ever-present child’s curiosity: but why? And Matthias’s father was an excessively cruel and frighteningly violent man, so his taste in literature certainly reflected that. This is also what I mean when I say there’s a genetic factor at play with some of Matthias’s impulses. Some of it’s inherited. In a way, he gets this from his mother’s side, too, although she’s a different kind of violent… a hands-off kind. I mean, that violence is how Matthias wound up being tortured for three years while trapped in a “therapeutic” reform school. It’s just as cruel, but it pretends to be righteous. So there’s this snapping violence and this opportunistic kind.

I’m saying all of this because I think it gives context to how much control Matthias exhibits over himself and his violent urges now as an adult. Sure, when he was younger he would react, he’d deride and break and hurt, but he doesn’t do that anymore. It’s not that he feels guilt over the impulses he has—there’s no shame there at all, really. To him, it’s just in his nature to get these flashes, these sudden images of brutality. They’ve been there all his life, you know? It’s normal to him. The only reason he doesn’t act on them is because he had impulse control beaten into him at the reform school and because he’s learned that the social contract is something that he can use to his advantage to get whatever it is he wants. He charms and obfuscates now. In that same vein, it’s not often that people find him to be rude, because he keeps his disdainful and unsavory thoughts to himself. You’d have to be someone who’s incredibly perceptive in order to see through Matthias… which just so happens to be Theo to a T.

So what I mean by this is that now when Matthias does actually act on these thoughts, these urges that dig at his brain, there’s normally a catalyst to them—this trigger that sends fire all through the synapses in his body. Matthias is incredibly loyal to Imani and Theo and he’s someone who’s very protective of them. Throughout his early teen years, back when he and Imani went to the same boarding school, he was constantly shielding Imani from the brunt of the corporal punishment that came with the turf. At that age he was volatile and would even hit back at times, but he knew that would land him in solitude and separated from Imani for days on end, which he just couldn’t have—not if he wanted to make sure nobody hurt her. He learned restraint for Imani’s sake then, but it wasn’t until he was trapped in the reform school that that restraint was fully drilled into him as a result of psychological torture and abuse.

He’s quick to offer a slicing comment, to give a chilling smile, to go eerily still and intimidate with his stare alone, but now as an adult he doesn’t often get physical unless provoked. He keeps it in and he holds himself back, this taut tension in his jaw only there for a moment before the mask submerges him again and holds his head under water. It’s really only when Theo’s involved that Matthias just… God, he really just can’t help himself. The cracks widen and he gets physical. It’s vicious. He has all this strength now, this imagination that only ever comes alive when he’s thinking of this, and he’s had years of experience in actual brawls that were just horrible—he’s been ganged up on, hit with metal chairs, humiliated and jeered at while bleeding everywhere, ripped out of bed and kicked until his ribs broke… It's safe to say that he takes pain like it means nothing to him now. So he swallows the blood he tastes when a hit lands and just plows through like it’s the only thing he knows how to do, like it’s programmed in him. It’s animalistic. It’s vengeful. It’s rapturous.

Like I said, seeing harm come to the only people Matthias loves has a disastrous effect on his self-control. Imani’s in a better place now that she’s an adult, but Theo… well, Theo’s been hurt by a lot of people—his parents, faces at clubs, ghosts from his past… too many instances to even begin getting into each of them. And Matthias has to unravel red yarn before a board and string together all of these physical reactions Theo has around some people, has to tilt his head as he replays the tapes and rewinds through remarks Theo’s made that felt off even before Matthias knew there was something going on there. Theo doesn’t talk about his hurt, doesn’t talk about anything that could make him weak, that exposes the nasty underbelly of his private life, so it’s up to Matthias to pick up on what’s been left unspoken. The specifics may not be there, but it’s enough to see Theo flinch at the sound of his own name being called, to watch him freeze up when a hand raises too fast, to track Theo as he checks the locks once, twice, three times in a row before he moves away. Matthias notices it all and he’s an eye for an eye kind of man. He can’t even help himself there, has no restraint when it comes to Theo, so… he handles it.

The furthest Matthias has ever gone, the worst he’s ever injured somebody, was when he nearly killed someone from Theo’s old summer boarding school. Theo managed to stop him, but only by a hair’s breadth. Matthias could have gone to prison for that one, he easily could’ve, but… there were circumstances and, when it comes down to it, Matthias is obscenely wealthy. In the end, he got off scot-free from attempted murder while the other party was hospitalized. He handled the rest without physical violence, though he certainly wanted to finish what he started. But, at the end of the day, Theo comes first, always.

He’s certainly engaged in far more illegal and immoral activities (his little blackmail moment was a personal favorite of mine), but physically he’s never gone so far as murder (though he’s not opposed…) and while he’s definitely lost control and grievously injured some people, I’d say he’s only ever hospitalized a handful. He keeps himself in check… most of the time, at least. He honestly doesn’t fly off the handle for no reason. If you keep your hands to yourself and watch your mouth then you don’t have to be afraid of him in that way. Still, it’s better to just keep your distance. He has too much fun pulling strings.