When did you get into rvb and how?

I got into it around 2013 so I think when freelancer had just finished (according to my old amino account I had to check lol). I was in middle/elementary at the time so I had already known abt rooster teeth though stuff like achievement hunter but got super into them when the first season of rwby dropped.

I think I first just watched freelancer for Monty Oum’s animation (cuz I was too impatient for new rwby eps to come out lol) but didn’t end up watching the whole series until my rwby rp friends on virtual space amino invited me to a RvB rp so I finally just watched it from the beginning to learn the lore and ended up loving the show.

favorite goncharov character

Goncharov! Holy shit I haven't thought about Goncharov in YEARS!

I remember seeing it at the Vista theatre downtown in ... I want to say 1983? It was either 82 and I was 10, or 83 and I was 11. Now that I think about it, it must have been Spring of 83. I remember that Kimmy Mendini was my babysitter, and she drove my friend Ahmed and me all the way downtown to see Goncharov. She would have been at least 16, but I feel like she was a little older. I remember that she LOVED movies and just never stopped talking about European cinema.

Ha! I can still her her sort of roll "Cinema" out of her mouth. Movies were for the masses to watch, while sophisticated adults experienced Cinema. I'm just realizing now that she absolutely pronounced it with a capital C. She was like "you are so lucky to see a clean print of Goncharov!"

I had no idea what a clean print was, but I understood it was important and impressive.

She had read about this screening in the LA Weekly, which I didn't know at the time was TREMENDOUSLY subversive in our suburban part of Los Angeles County, and we were going to an old theatre in maybe not the greatest part of town, but Kimmy had been watching me since I was in second grade and was like my big sister. I knew we'd be safe with her.

That old theatre (which is now a fucking swap meet) was just so beautiful inside. 100 foot ceilings, box seats, gold paint and murals. It felt like a place you went to experience Cinema, but, like ... it had absolutely seen better days. I remember that I felt kind of bad for the place, a little embarrassed, like when I got a good grade and accidentally made eye contact with a friend who got a D.

Okay. This clearly hit a memory artery, and I appreciate you staying with me this far, when we finally get to the fireworks factory. We're walking up to the box office, and she tells Ahmed and me that we have to wait on the sidewalk, because *technically* it's rated R, and she's not our legal guardian, but what does this guy making two bucks an hour know about art anyway?

So we wait. She buys the tickets, and then we all walk in as casually as we can.

I remember how scared I was that we were going to get caught and they'd call the cops (that's how it worked in my anxiety-ridden brain), but literally nobody cared. The theatre wasn't even half full, and everyone there was a dude at least as old as my parents.

You know the story, so I don't have to recount all of it, but I can at this very moment remember how shocked I was when Bruno was shot. This was the first time, ever, I had felt an emotional connection to a character. I didn't cry when Bambi's mother was shot, I didn't cry when ET died, I didn't cry E V E R.

But when Bruno died? I didn't make a sound. I just silently wept. Tears just poured down my face and I wanted to roll back time, rewrite the movie, and get him out of that room.

I obviously understand now, all these years later why I connected to him and why his story meant and means so much to me, but at the time I had no idea. I just thought the actors were that good.

I can't believe that guy who played him died so young. I think he was like 40? I remember thinking that was old. Now I know different.

When the movie was over, Kimmy asked us how we liked it. Ahmed was obsessed with the photography (he grew up to be an illustrator), and I obviously had my Bruno Moment.

We got Thrifty ice cream on the way home and listened to Donna Summer in her Datsun.

I haven't thought about Goncharov or Cinema or Kimmy in FOREVER. Leave it to Tumblr to boost my nostalgia check to a natural 20.

tl;dr: Bruno. I know he's supposed to be that character we all hate, and there are so many valid reasons for that. But when I was 12 ... well, I was a different person.

Oh! And now that I know what a "clean print" is, having seen so many "dirty prints" in revival houses before they all turned into swap meets or churches (hey, two places where people sell you stuff and take your money!), I retroactively appreciate it in a way that would make Kimmy happy.

Thanks for the trip into the crumbling mall that is my childhood memories. I haven't been here in awhile and it was nice to visit.

Time After Time | Chapter Ten

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader, Tommy Shelby x Original Female Character

Summary: Madam Despoina gives you a little more insight, as well as a significant gift.

Warning: language, alcohol, smoking, ethnic slur

ao3 link | catch up on tumblr here

Chapter 10: Curses

This tired old machine is a-rumbling (oh my, oh my). Singing songs to the secrets behind my eyes (oh my, oh my). All my aching bones are trembling, and I may yet fall apart. Won’t you stay with me, my darling, when the war starts in my heart? Oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust. The devil’s after both of us. Oh, lay my curses out to rest, make a mercy out of me.  — Curses, The Crane Wives

“His name was Dimitris.”

You frowned at Madam Despoina’s first words to you after she entered the caravan. 

“May I sit?”

Instead of replying, Tommy moved to grab the chair against the wall and sat it next to the fireplace, offering his hand to assist her down. 

The old woman thanked him as she sat, lifting her head back to you. Her worn voice was solemn, tired even, as she went on. 

“Dimitris joined my camp some odd years ago, having traveled from the old country. For most of his time with us, he was a good man — hard worker, good soldier, did what he was told. Recently, he became more aggressive. First it was with the women, then fighting amongst the men. When I discovered that he’d been selling information and stealing… well, I displayed a lapse in judgment with my punishment. He was banished, with a threat of death if he returned. Apparently, he still has friends in the camp. They informed him of your arrival, of your importance. I believe he snuck in during the bustle of preparation—”

“He escorted us into the camp,” Tommy pointed out, interrupting. “He escorted us to your wagon.”

The Madam’s face remained unchanged, her eyes not leaving yours while addressing Tommy. 

“A breech that I am investigating with serious severity, Mr. Shelby, I assure you.”

“He dead?” His question made your gaze move from her to him, causing you to inhale sharply. 

What the hell had your life become where conversations about gypsy fortune telling and gangster murders had become just another Sunday night?

Tommy’s eyes flicked to yours before returning to the Madam’s. For an insecure moment, you wondered if he considered you weak for your reaction. 

“When we find him, he will be.”

The woman’s reply felt like cold water as you realized the creep was still out there. Her eyes softened as she held on to your gaze. 

“I apologize, mikrí mou màntissa. This was not what I envisioned for our meeting.”

You swallowed the irony, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. 

She cleared her throat before speaking again. “May I ask — what did he want from you?”

You took a deep breath before shrugging. You had no idea how long ago the event had occurred, could have been an hour or ten, either way you just wanted to push it as far from your brain as possible. It didn’t help that you were on the tail end of your buzz — that and the adrenaline (and your newfound ability to disassociate and compartmentalize) made the memory feel fuzzy. 

“Um, well,” you began, speaking for the first time since the Madam entered the caravan. “Originally he thought I was Anastasia Romanov,” you couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you said it. 

Tommy’s brow creased, “Who?”

You missed the way Madam Despoina watched you answer his question. 

“The Romanovs? The Russian royal family that was just killed like—” you paused as your brain tried to do the quick math. “Holy shit that was just this year,” you muttered to yourself, though the other two in the room could certainly hear you. 

“We heard somethin’ about that in France. A revolution, ya?” Tommy pondered, reaching into his jacket pocket on the hanger to grab a cigarette while shrugging — as if hearing one of the biggest historical events ever was just no big deal. “Who was she, exactly?” 

Realization of just how disconnected you were from the rest of the world began to set in. You’d been here for more than three months, and the only real news you’d been privy to had been the war end. And that was only because Ada had shoved the newspaper in your face. 

You made a mental note to start saving enough to purchase newspapers when you got back into the city. If you were going to be here, you wanted to know what was going on. 

“She was a daughter of the tsar,” the Madam answered for you. “A princess. When the family was taken to be executed, it was rumored that the princess escaped.”

You nodded, “Creep-o said he thought that’s who was coming to the camp when Madam Despoina said they had special company.” 

The Madam hummed her understanding. “We’ve often had queens and princesses come to bargain for good fortune. Dimitris thought you were the princess.”

“He said he knew I wasn’t Russian though due to my accent. I may have implied with my tone that he was an idiot for believing the rumor… he didn’t like that.” You grew angry at the memory of him grabbing you, instinctively wrapping your own arms around yourself. “Still, he said that you thought I was someone important. That he could use me somehow to make him money.”

Somehow was beginning to feel a lot like selling as you said the words out loud. The words sat bitterly at the tip of your tongue as your anger began to bubble. 

“What did he think he was going to get away with, huh? Kidnapping me and holding me hostage? Handcuffing me to a table and forcing me to give seances? The nerve—“ you fumed as you grew lost in your own imagination. “What psychopath thinks he can do that? I can’t even tell fucking fortunes! I’m not important! I can’t—“

The tears surprised you as your anger began to catch in your throat. This was the second time today you’d began to cry out of frustration, exhaustion, everything. And you hated yourself even more for it. 

You felt weak again. 

Your eyes squeezed shut as you tried to control your breathing, and suddenly you felt two hands cradling your face. Expecting to see Madam Despoina, who’d been sitting closer to you, you were surprised when you opened your eyes to see it was Tommy who was kneeling in front of you, his own face inches from yours. 

You felt ashamed again for your weakness, dropping your eyes and trying to push him away. But he held on to you and forced you to look at him again. You prepared to see disappointment or pity in his eyes, but instead you saw the same reassurance that you’d almost come to rely on in the depth of his crystal blues.

“That won’t ever happen,” he said confidently. “You’re not a doll, remember? And you are strong. If the Delphi don’t find this fucker, the Peaky Blinders will. Either way, you’ll never see him again, you understand me, Y/N?”

“Yes,” you answered breathlessly, the tears no longer falling as he wiped what remained off your cheeks. 

“I have a second reason for coming by,” Madam Despoina’s words broke the spell between you and Tommy, who stood up and resumed his original position between you two women and the doorway. She reached inside her baggy skirt pocket and pulled out a small wooden box, extending it to you. “I wanted to offer you this gift.”

Your brow furrowed as you took it. 

In the Madam’s hands, it appeared to be an ordinary box. But when you ran your fingers across the edges and held it toward the light of the fireplace, you could just make out the intricate carvings. It reminded you of the inside of this caravan. On the lid of the box was the Delphi symbol — you couldn’t help the way your pointer finger moved from the trunk of the tree upward, through the branches and down one side of the circle, across the roots, and up the other side until you completed the path. 

“It’s beautiful,” you couldn’t help but breathe out as you finally lifted the lid. Your brow furrowed again as you examined a pouch of leaves and small vile of water inside. 

Madam nodded. “Boil some water and let the leaves soak, then pour in the water from the vile before drinking the entire cup.”

“Tea? You want me to make tea?” You looked between her and the box. “Um, why?”

She smiled. “My gift. It’s one final conversation with your mother.”

Your jaw dropped slightly, the words falling out absentmindedly, “What? You’ve got to be joking.” You looked down at the box suspiciously. “What is this then, drugs?”

“These are passed from our ancestry, they’re very valuable and once designated cannot be transferred to another. The water is from the original springs of Delphi, the leaves are from the gardens of the temple.”

“The leaves that gave the priestesses epilepsies?” you questioned, raising your brow as your suspicions were confirmed. “You want to drug me and pretend like whatever hallucination I might get is some divine vision from my dead mother?”

The woman gave you a smile, “You still disbelieve, don’t you, young girl?”

You set the box down on the bed next to you and shook your head. “I mean no disrespect, Madam Despoina—“

The old woman lifted swiftly from her seat and reached for your hand. Out of surprise and instinct, thinking she must have fallen, you jumped off the bed and squeezed her hand, matching her firm grip with your own. 

The room flashed white. The Madam before you was all you could see, but as your eyes adjusted, your vision began to shift. 

Her face — it began to change. You recognized the woman’s face, something ancient and beautiful, with eyes that glowed that brilliant gold you’d seen in your dreams. Another flash, and the face began to morph into so many faces, one after the other. Hundreds of women, all unrecognizable and yet something familiar pulled at your gut. 

Suddenly the shifting stopped as you saw your mother’s face. You gasped, taking a step forward before your mothers face morphed again. This time, your foot moved backwards as you looked upon your own reflection. 

Snapping your hand out of the old woman’s hold, your vision cleared. You were catching your breath as you found the familiar brown eyes of Madam Despoina, the caravan surrounding you again, a knowing smile pulling at her cheek. 

Your eyes found Tommy’s, who had taken a few cautious steps toward you both and was looking at you concerned. “You okay?”

“I saw— I, I thought I saw—“ you breathed out, your eyes moving back to the Madam as you held your hand to your chest. 

“Drink the tea. Talk with your mother. She will be able to tell you now what she could never before.”

She turned to leave before stopping. When she turned back to you, she reached out for your hand again. You flinched at her touch, expecting the same thing to happen again, but nothing did.

“During these winter times, our camp retreats back to our home ground to prepare for the cold. We drink and dine as is tradition during these darker and colder months until it is time to travel again. But this year I knew we had to wait — that we were waiting for you.” 

She squeezed your hand as she held yours between both of hers. 

“Today I have felt closer to our god than I have in many years. I had nearly forgotten what his light felt like, but with you, I can feel his warmth again. Won’t you stay?”

“We can’t,” Tommy answered for you, his voice stern. “We promised we’d be back ‘fore Christmas Eve.”

In the back of your mind, you knew that was a lie. Tommy had already told you he’d prepared for you both to be gone for as long as a week’s time. But you didn’t dare question him now. 

Besides, you felt as though her question wasn’t just a courtesy to stay tonight, or even for a few days. The question felt like an invitation — to stay with the Delphi family. 

For a split moment, you considered her offer. You were already a time traveling fish out of water, and you’d bet money that she knew more than what she’d even revealed tonight. Maybe you were here to find them — maybe this is where you were meant to be. 

But your eyes instinctively looked to Tommy at the thought, and your chest tightened. 

Maybe it was a mistake, but that stupid part of your brain or hormones or whatever it was controlling you couldn’t leave Birmingham. 

The Shelbys. 

Tommy. 

Madam Despoina hummed an understanding, her eyes watching your internal struggle. “Then you should leave now. There are some here who are under investigation of helping Dimitris, and it may not be as safe as I’d have wished for you here.” Her eyes dropped in shame. 

“If you thought we may be in danger, why would you ask for me to stay?” 

“I’m an old woman, mikrí mou màntissa.” She repeated the foreign words again, and her soft smile made you sense they were a term of endearment. “Sometimes I’m more selfish than I’m proud of. I will see you again someday, Cassandra. Until then, remember what I told you —“

“Stay true to myself.”

“Aye. You will feel like you can’t use your second sight for fear of alteration, or alienation. But it will be your asset in the times to come. And it can save those around you, if you let it.”

She looked to Tommy then, whose brow creased at the conversation. 

The Madam smirked. “Our god is closer to you than you think.” Her attention moved back to you. “Listen to your mother. Break the cursed chain.”

She turned again to leave. 

“Wait,” you stepped forward as she paused. “Why are you giving me this now? You told me before that it wasn’t the time. What’s changed?”

Madam Despoina let out a humored hum. “You’re not the only one who gets visions, love.” At the doorway, she stopped and turned to Tommy. “Remember what I told you as well, Apollon.”

With that, she left the caravan. 

Tommy ran his hand through his hair as he let out a breath. “We’re leaving. We’re gettin’ in our wagon and gettin’ the fuck out of this nut house.”

He began to get dressed, throwing on his gun holster over his shoulders before putting on his jacket. 

Your brain was processing the name Madam had called Tommy. “She called you—“

“Get dressed,” he instructed, ignoring you and handing you the bag and your shoes before grabbing the rest of his clothes. 

You pulled out one of the clean skirts and pulled it over your nightgown. You grabbed your jacket and threw it around you before shoving your feet into your shoes. Stuffing the rest of your items in your bag, you gingerly picked up the box Madam Despoina had given you and set it on top before latching it closed. 

Tommy returned, offering you his hand to lead you out of the caravan and through the dark, clutching the bag close to your chest. The wagon came into view, Johnny Dogs hustling to secure Midnight. 

“Tommy, she called you—“

He shushed you, his eyes flashing down at you before making a quick scan around you both. “Not now.”

You huffed. “Never now.”

“Soon,” he reassured, giving your hand a squeeze before jumping in the back of the wagon while Johnny appeared at your side. “All clear?”

“Aye, Tom,” Dogs replied. His usual jovial vibe was gone tonight, serious as he addressed his friend. 

“Good. Up ya come,” Tommy offered you his hand as he stood in the wagon. 

Your brow furrowed, expecting to sit with him in the drivers seat like you had earlier. 

“There’s a bed in here, and some blankets. It’s the middle of the night and you’ve had a long day. You already fell asleep once today, I don’t need you fallin’ over on the drive back.”

Your instinct was to fight back, prove him wrong. Before you could reply, he squatted closer to you. 

“I won’t have you sitting like a fuckin’ target in case we run into trouble on the road. I don’t expect it, but I’m a cautious man, ‘member? Get in the wagon, and let me keep you safe.”

“She called you Apollo,” you whispered, looking between his eyes. 

It felt like you were standing in a room with thousands of puzzle pieces, and every time you thought you’d found a connection, thought you’d gotten a handle on the full picture, a new piece would pop up and throw you off your track again. You felt like you were slowly losing your mind. 

He softened his look, grabbing your hand and lifting you into the wagon. You let him walk you toward the front before gently pushing you down onto the small mattress pad. “Rest. Once we’re safe, you can explain to me why.”

You swallowed as he stood back up and climbed through the front flap of the wagon and sat on the bench. Johnny Dogs wished you a small farewell and you gave him a sympathetic smile before he secured the back of the wagon. 

Despite everything that’d happened to you tonight, you’d enjoyed the man’s company and hopped to see him again. If Tommy allowed. 

You could see Tommy settling in his seat from your spot, grateful for the secured tarp on the side your head rested against to cut the cool night air as the wagon began to move forward. 

The wheel hit a bump, causing your bag to jump against your leg. You picked it up and secured it against you, not wanting anything to happen to the box inside. 

The box filled with the magic drugs, that is. 

What were the chances that the leaves and water in that box were actually from the Temple of Apollo in Greece? Was it old? New? There’s no way something like that could have survived all this time, and there was definitely no way that if it had, someone would just hand it over to a complete stranger for nothing. 

And the flashes that you saw — was it the drinks you had tonight? You had a hard time believing that the woman you just left would have you drugged without your knowledge — but the cynical side of you, the cautious side as Tommy might say, couldn’t exclude the possibility entirely. 

No, you shook your head, trying to reason your way out of that thought. Why would a woman who already had you drugged offer you more drugs and tell you what they were? If she’d done it once, what was stopping her from doing it again without your knowledge? She could have made the tea herself and fed it to you easily at any point during the night. But instead she gave it to you in pieces, as a gift, and told you exactly what it was (more or less - you still weren’t entirely convinced). 

So if you weren’t drugged, then you had to have just been ole fashioned drunk. 

You shook your head at yourself again, getting more comfortable on the mattress until you were laying down, the wagon wheels continuing to move along underneath you. 

Nothing like that had ever happened to you after a night of drinking before. And there were definitely nights you’d been way drunker than you had been tonight. 

The only time you’d seen visions like that before, with the white flash and everything, was the night you traveled back and saw Tommy in the mud. 

But why Tommy? was the last question you asked yourself before your eyes began to drift closed and you wrapped the blanket around yourself. 

And why did Madam Despoina call him Apollo? 

——

“Cassandra.” 

Your god reached out to you, his once ice blue eyes had now returned to their brilliant gold, his look was full of concern. 

“You just said—“ your breath was short at the previous feeling of dread as you grasped at the front of your dress to steady your heart. 

He cupped your face with his hand, “I said that I didn’t expect to fall for you, Cassandra.”

No, you thought. There was rage, there was anger. He said he cursed you… didn’t he? 

But as you looked up at him now, the face you saw was the same face you’d been gazing upon night after night. You hadn’t intended to fall for the palace gardener. The first night you’d come out here was the day you pledged your allegiance to priesthood. You’d sought solace, a place to sit with your thoughts to ensure that you were making the right decision. 

The gardener had surprised you, his voice soft and kind as he asked if you were okay. After that, you’d come to rely on the man as a confidant. Eventually, you were spending most of your day awaiting the hours until you could see his sweet face again. 

But now, everything was different. He wasn’t a man at all — he was a god. He was your god, confessing his affection for you. 

And yet still, you touched your lips at the memory of his cold blue eyes, his angry words, his curse. 

His brow creased as you pulled your face away, turning back to the garden ledge as you looked out to the sea. Your eyes focused on the horizon line, where you saw ships sailing toward your kingdom. Thousands of ships - an armada. They were racing forward, growing closer and closer to the shoreline, launching hundreds of arrows into the air.

“We’re under attack!” 

You turned back toward your lord and pointed, but he only shook his head. “There’s nothing out there.” 

Whipping your head back toward the sea, your eyes searched for the sight of the ships, but they were gone. The seas were calm once again.

“But—“

An explosion caught your attention, pulling your gaze back down toward the square of the city. It was on fire — people were screaming, children crying. Men in foreign armor raced through the streets on horses, swinging swords and axes, killing your citizens. 

You blinked — they were gone. 

‘You’re cursed, Cassandra! You’re cursed!—‘

“Y/N!”

You jumped at the shout, turning to find Harry standing at the end of the bar with his arms crossed. 

“I don’t pay ya to daydream. We’ve got a packed ‘ouse now snap out of it.”

“Sorry, Harry.” You flushed at your absent mindedness, picking up the rag and moving to give the counter a good swipe before heading toward the first man with his arm reached forward. 

But through the monotony of the job, your mind couldn’t help but wonder back toward your dream in the wagon. 

Tommy had woken you up the same as he had on the drive to the camp. Clinging to his arms, you found yourself gasping for air and your cheeks damp from tears. Embarrassed once again for waking up in a panic, you began to wonder if you’d ever have a normal night’s sleep ever again. 

Despite the nightmare, you’d somehow managed to sleep through most of the drive back into town. You rode up front for the remaining drive back while Tommy hit you with the realities of going back into society. 

“There’s something we need to discuss before we get back to Small Heath,” Tommy had started in his serious voice. “Only Polly knows where we truly went yesterday. Arthur, John, and Ada know a version of the truth — they know we were lookin’ for a gypsy clan that might have had some of your last surviving family members, but we’re gonna tell ‘em we were unsuccessful in our journey. That they were supposed to be outside the fairground, but they were nowhere to be found, so we came back and you decided to give up the search. Got it?” 

You had nodded. “And Polly? What are we going to tell her?” 

“That’s up to you,” he surprised you with that response. “But one thing I want to make clear. That we saw Johnny Dogs and what was discussed with him will be told to no one, ya?” 

“Can I ask why?” You threw the question out as a tester — it wasn’t a no to his confirmation, but you were curious if he’d shut you down or trust you. 

Tommy didn’t respond right away, staring straight ahead at Midnight pulling the wagon forward. You swallowed, ready to admit defeat, when Tommy cleared his throat. 

“Most of what we do is illegal. To make any real money, to gain any real power, we need to expand into some legitimacy. It’s the only way to break out of Birmingham.”

“And Billy Kimber has something to do with that?” 

Slowly, Tommy nodded. “Think so. Still working out the details, but it starts with Johnny Dogs. That’s all I’m willin’ to say now.” 

You thought about the words exchanged between the two men, about what Tommy said on Saturday about domination. You wondered if his ambition extended further than just working with the racetrack owner, or if he wanted to control it. 

Tommy didn’t seem like a man who limited his ambitions. 

“Got it. Not a word, then.” 

You paused, contemplating what you were going to say next and deciding to just go with it. What the hell, right? 

“I still think you should look into running alcohol into America. The probability of a prohibition is higher than you’re estimating.” 

“Thought you said you weren’t a fortune teller,” Tommy rose his brow up as he looked at you. Beneath you, the dirt roads had transitioned into cobblestone, indicating an end to your ride. 

You’d shrugged, “I’m not. I’m just a woman on your payroll, who sometimes knows things, offering you business advice.”

Tommy watched you for a moment more, but chose not to push you on it further. Neither of you said anything as he made his way to your doorstep. You’d mentioned wanting to change and then head over to the Garrison, hopping to mend the nagging feeling you had of Harry being angry with you and offering to work a shift that evening. 

“I’ll see you later then,” Tommy had said as you turned to leave, watching as you clung to your bag and ascended the stairs. 

To his promise, Tommy walked through the doors of the Garrison some odd hours later, an entourage of men behind him. Harry hustled to shoo people out of the snug before escorting the men into the private room. 

This had been a part of the deal Tommy had made with Harry, apparently. The Garrison was not only protected by the Peaky Blinders, but now it was officially the pub of choice for the gang. That meant that any time a Peaky boy was in the premises, the snug had to be available. It also meant that anything a Shelby man ordered was on the house, no questions asked. 

Tommy still dropped a coin at the snug window when he asked for a bottle of whiskey and six tumblers. 

“Irish or Scotch?” You asked, a smirk playing at your lips as you watched him attempt to stop his own smile. 

Without his response, you grabbed the Irish Whiskey and glasses, circling the bar and turning into the private room. Tommy was taking his seat as the men around him grabbed for the cups, Arthur electing to grab the bottle and open it. He poured himself a shot first, then Tommy, then John, before passing it to the other three in the room. 

You vaguely recognized the three non-brothers from the betting shop, and part of you wondered if any of them were the book men you audited as you began to wipe down the table.

Arthur was patting John on the shoulder, sounding already drunk as he went on about the boy finally getting out of that house. You took a quick look at John, who looked tired as he mumbled something about the kids driving him mad. 

You smiled at that, silently wondering if John being out meant that Martha was starting to feel better. You made a note to ask Tommy about her later as you asked aloud if anyone needed anything else. 

“That’ll be all, Y/N,” Tommy answered for everyone. 

You gave a friendly smile, eyes scanning the room before landing on one of the non-brothers, who was watching you quite intently. As a barmaid, you were either invisible or the subject of lustful attention, so a part of you was used to the creepy looks and just bid your time until the man either hit on you or lost interest. Not expecting this kind of attention here, with Tommy around, you felt caught off guard. Awkwardly, you nodded and left the room, leaving the doors open behind you. 

Some time passed as you worked the room, the crowd slowly beginning to lessen as the night went on. You were working on the pub books, taking advantage of the lull, when the man who’d been watching you from the snug approached the bar.

“You’re Ada’s friend, ya?”

You couldn’t stop the quick look through the snug window, noticing that the other Peaky boys were still in there, working on their second bottle. “Um, yeah,” you answered, offering him a polite smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Need something?” 

“Ya, a mild.” 

Trying to control your annoyed face at having to pause your book work — seriously, there was no way you could ever leave Harry in charge of the books ever again — you rose from your seat to prepare his drink. You could feel him watch you as you worked. 

“I’ve seen ya round the Shelby house with Ada and Ms. Polly. I work there, with the boys. Names Benji.” 

Benji — you recognized the name as one of the bookkeepers at the betting shop. He was one you’d been suspicious of for a while now. 

The first couple big offenders of stealing from the shop had disappeared some time after you brought them to Polly’s attention. At the time, your innocent mind believed they’d just been fired and moved on — but now you knew better. The chances that those men were still breathing were slim. 

With Benji’s records, his error rate decreased after the first few men were outed, and you always suspected that he was biding his time before he began to steal again. You just had to wait until you had more evidence. 

For a paranoid moment, as Benji’s eyes scanned you over, you wondered if he knew about your secret employment. He was a Peaky boy, after all. He lifted his hand over the bar counter as an offering when you set his drink down. 

“Y/N,” you offered out of ceremony, your smile still not quite genuine as you shook his hand.

“Y/N,” he repeated, donning his own smile as he looked at you again appreciatively. He wasn’t unhandsome, so you imagine that smile worked on most girls. But after what happened to you last night and your suspicions about his bookkeeping, you felt yourself taking a step back out of caution. “Next time you’re in the shop, say hi.” 

You watched as he took his drink and swaggered back into the snug. Part of you was slightly surprised at his boldness. You were a friend of Ada’s — his employer’s sister. Plus, you and Tommy—

You scoffed at yourself. You and Tommy what? You weren’t a couple — you didn’t think so, anyway. He hadn’t gone to kiss you, or even offer to walk you to your apartment door when he’d dropped you off. What’d happened last night before Madam Despoina interrupted had been… hormones. A mixture of adrenaline, alcohol, and an attempt to grasp onto some kind of sanity after a series of crazed events. 

He hadn’t spoken of the moment since — hell, he hadn’t spoken of any of it since, something that was also making you anxious.  

Out of instinct, your eyes moved to the window of the snug where you could see Tommy sitting comfortably in his chair. As if feeling your gaze, his own eyes moved to meet yours. You jumped slightly, feeling as if you’d been caught, and proceeded to go back to checking on the other patrons in the room. 

You’d settled back to working on the inventory, almost finished when the Peaky boys loudly made their exit of the pub. Surprised, Arthur shouted a drunken goodbye to you, even using your name as he waved and stumbled out the doorway with his arm around John. Benji turned and gave you a wink before following the group out the door. Tommy stood back, watching the whole thing before walking over to the counter. 

“What was that about?” He asked, gesturing over his shoulder to the doorway. 

“What? Arthur saying goodbye? Not sure, but it’s a big improvement over him calling me a whore or just grunting at me—“

“Not Arthur, Hancock.”

Your brow creased. “Who?” 

“Benji,” he added, and you realized Hancock must be his last name. Tommy poured the last of the bottle into his drink. 

You stood up from your seat again and walked over toward Tommy, taking a scan of the room. There were only two young men in the corner finishing up their last round, but you still kept your voice low. “Who knows about me?” 

It was Tommy’s turn to furrow his brow. “‘Dya mean?” 

“My job, at the house.” 

Tommy nodded, understanding. “Just immediate family — me, Pol, Arthur, John, and Ada.” 

“And before you guys returned?”

He shrugged, “Just Pol and Ada, I believe. What’s this about?” 

“I was just paranoid, I guess. I thought for a moment Benji may have suspected me, but now I think he was just coming on to me.” 

Tommy’s back straightened at your comment, lifting his glass for another drink. “And is that somethin’ that you want?”

“No,” you answered immediately, watching his shoulders immediately relax. 

“Good,” he said softly, his eyes moving down to your lips. “Let me walk you home?” 

You smiled at both his response and his request, wondering if maybe you were wrong about what exactly you and Tommy were. 

“I can’t go until those two leave,” you said quietly as you gestured to the corner. 

As if realizing for the first time that the two of you weren’t alone, he turned to the other guests. “Oi! Time to go!”

The young men jumped from their seats and scattered out the door. You couldn’t hold in your surprise at the immediate obedience. 

It’s good to be the king, you found yourself quoting Mel Brooks in your head at the action, not yet confident enough to say your quip out loud. The thought still made you smile though, and you were again surprised when Tommy offered you a smile in return. You knew how rare a Tommy smile was. 

“Fine, but I still have to put the book away and sweep the floors. Harry mentioned something about putting in an ad for another barmaid — I’m not about to further piss him off and have him replace me.”

Tommy scoffed. “I’ve seen the receipts, you practically saved this business. He’d be a fool to replace you.”

Your pride swelled at the compliment as you lowered your head to hide your blush. 

Luckily, it’d been a rather tame night, so your cleanup was minimum, allowing you and Tommy to leave soon after everything was put in order. 

Tommy lit a cigarette as you locked the door, wrapping his coat around you tightly and cursing to yourself how right he’d been about it getting colder. 

“Come to dinner tomorrow,” he said, breaking the silence on your walk. It didn’t sound like a question, but his gaze down toward you implied that he was waiting for a response. 

“To your house?” You asked, curious if this was just a regular dinner or a date dinner. 

He nodded. “Aye, Christmas Eve dinner with the family. Ada made me promise to ask.” 

You deflated slightly at his follow-up. Was Ada’s insistence because Tommy didn’t actually want you there? God, listen to you — sounding like a pathetic teenager again overanalyzing everything your crush said. 

“Okay,” you said instead. 

“Good.” 

He stopped and faced you when you got to your apartment. Gently, he lifted his hand and cupped your cheek, pulling your face upward until your lips met his. It was a soft kiss, but it still left you breathless as he pulled away. 

“After dinner, when everyone’s distracted, we’ll talk, ya? About the dreams, about what Madam Despoina said, and about why when I was waking you up this afternoon you kept saying that you were cursed.” 

>> next chapter << chapter masterlist

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Playing the Game Part 10 (Steve X Plus Size Reader)

A/N: I bare you this gift because I can! (And I love you).

There's definitely a taglist somewhere. Idk where it is. Please enjoy! This series was my first time writing for Daddy Steve. I think I've gotten better. ENJOY! <3

Warnings: Daddy Steve and Sub Plus Size Reader and all that implies (I regret nothing!), Smut, angst, and all the fluff. Steve and Y/N get into a fight and he throws a tantrum (and something of the readers against a wall).

Word Count: 3432

It had been two years since you started your relationship with Steve Harrington. You two had been living together for just shy of a year and happier than you ever thought you could be. Your sex life between you guys had hit heights you didn’t think possible. Before he moved in, you both had just started treading the line of Steve being more dominant in the bedroom. 

Now he was more than comfortable when it came to punishments and keeping your bratty butt in line. The quiet moments were even sweeter, when he would hold you after and tell you how much he loved you. In the mornings, sometimes he would surprise you with breakfast in bed or at night take you out to a fancy dinner where he could show you off, dancing with you till the restaurant you were at had to close. 

Your family fully embraced him especially since his dad still hated that you were together. Instead of cutting Steve off like he threatened, he severely reined in the income he provided to his son hoping that it would scare him enough to leave you causing fights between the two of you often. 

“Steve, I feel bad! I feel like you struggle because of me!”

“Baby girl, I’m alive because of you! You woke me up to what actually being fucking happy feels like!”

“That’s sweet and everything but some of the extra stuff you insist on doing for me is financially draining you—”

“Don’t talk down to me like your him! I have enough money to take care of us AND give you the life you deserve!”

“But the thing is you don’t!”

“What should I do, huh? You want me to break up with you so I can get my inheritance back? Then what? I’ll just go back to my apartment, sit alone, and just be miserable for the rest of my life. But, hey, at least I’ll be rich!”

“Penny for your thoughts, babe.”, Robin smiles as she bumps you with her hip. 

“I just…I don’t know. Steve’s been acting kind of different lately. I feel bad because I know he wants to take care of me and be that ever attentive boyfriend but with my salary and his income at Family Video…”, you sigh. “I wish he understood that I don’t need the extras. I just want him.”

You friend pulls you into her arms as she hugs you. 

“The financial thing won’t be an issue too much longer if he lands this job at his dad’s firm.”, Eddie retorts as he continues staking comics on the shelf in front of him. 

“I’m sorry. When he what?”

Eddie’s eyes meet yours in apprehension. “I…thought you knew. He’s been interviewing at his dad’s office these past couple of weeks.”

You glance at Robin whose eyes are just as wide as yours. “He didn’t mention anything to me.”

“Why did he tell you, Munson?”

“Again, I thought you knew, sweetheart. He didn’t imply that you didn’t. He picked me up from the bar about a week ago wearing a suit. I asked him why he was all dressed up and he told me. No hesitation of anything.”

As if on cue, Steve enters your store shaking his umbrella before placing it near the door. As he turns to face everyone, he realized you guys were already staring at him. 

“Hey?”

Your head tilts to the side as you fold your arms over your chest. 

“Wow, holy shit. Look at that comic I see on the wall over there in the back of the store where I can’t hear a thing. Eddie, can you show it to me?”

“No. I want to watch her kill him.”

Steve’s head turns to his friend as Robin growls. “Come on, you idiot.”, she scolds as she tugs on his arm.

“Ok, apparently I did something.”

“You look good, Harrington. No interview at your dad’s firm today?” 

His jaw tightens as he walks towards you, placing his jacket on the counter. 

“Not today no. My final interview is Friday.”

“And you didn’t tell me because…”

“I knew you would get mad.”

“You’re fucking right I would except now I’m even more angry because you hid it from me. Steve, you can’t work there. It will be like living with him all over again.”

“First off, you need to check that tone, little one. Secondly, I handled it.”

“What does that mean?”

“Y/N, it’s a good job. I’ll make more money, benefits, and things like that. And… he said he would give me my inheritance back even if we stay together.”

Your mouth opened to say something but the words wouldn’t come out. The only words you could manage to muster out was a meek but strong, “Fuck you.”

Steve’s eyes lit a blaze as he stepped closer to you. “Want to try that again?”

“Fuck. You. EDDIE!”

“Yes! Yes, ma’am!”, the boy exclaimed as he skidded around the corner. 

“Close the store for me tonight.”, you glare at Steve as you toss the metalhead your keys. “Daddy and I have some things we need to hash out.”

###########

You angrily slam open your apartment door as you both stomp inside. 

“Well, baby girl, where do we begin?”, Steve asked sarcastically. 

“Don’t! Don’t you dare call me that right now Steve. I am furious with you!”

“You just called me by my title in front of one of our friends. I can call you whatever the fuck I want and you have no right to be angry with me! You’re the one that’s always saying you feel bad because you think it’s your fault that my father cut me off. Now I’ll get the money AND have a better income. What’s the fucking problem!?”

“The problem is you are going to be fucking miserable! Do you really think that makes me feel better?! You working somewhere you hate? Why does it have to be with him?! There are so many other companies you can apply for.”

“My father runs almost every major company in Hawkins, honey. There is no where I could go where I wouldn’t be under his thumb.”

“Then why leave Family Video. You love it there and working with Robin.”

“I love you more.”

“Steve, what does that even mean?! I have never asked you to be anything more than yourself and to do what makes you happy. I’ve also told you a thousand times I don’t need extra things like fancy dinner dates or jewelry!”

His head snapped towards you then, glaring at you through angry eyes. “Fine! You know what? Fuck it! You’re right, Y/N. I spoil you too fucking much. We don’t need these extra things. You don’t want me to take you to dinner that’s fine.” He glides past you into your shared bedroom and starts pulling things out of your closet. “These clothes and my suits? Don’t need them.” 

Steve grabs the box you keep your jewelry in and hurls it across the room. “Won’t be needing that anymore. From now on, baby, I’m going to be one of those strict Daddy’s. You don’t need any of these things or want any of the nice shit I do for you, right? RIGHT?!”

“Jesus, you’re already starting to sound like him.” He charges up to you till his face is hovering just above your own. Your fury filled eyes meet his as you stare at each other. “Steve, I—”

“Don’t talk. Just listen, little girl.” His nostrils flare as your jaw clenches. This was the first time since you told him the origin of your hatred for that name that he had used it and it still seemed to get a rise out of you. “I’m tired of having this fucking fight. I know you feel bad that my dad cut me off but that had nothing to do with you. That was a long time coming. Do you seriously think being me, I wouldn’t have done something to piss him off.”

“Then why work for him, Steven?” If he was going to use the name you hated, you could play that game to. His face twitched in anger but you noticed something else that you hadn’t seen before. “Are you hiding something from me? Beside the interviews…”

He turned away from you, grabbing his jacket as he headed for the front door. Hastily, you ran to cut him off, placing your body in front of it. 

“Daddy, what’s going on?”

“Move.”

“No.”

“God, you are just on a roll today with being a fucking brat.”

“Said the baby who doesn’t feel man enough to tell me the entire truth.”

He snickered as he took a couple steps aways from you. A few moments passed before he finally spoke. 

“I went to a jewelry store with Jonathan a couple of weeks ago. He was looking at engagement rings because he wants to purpose to Nancy. While we were browsing, I kept thinking ‘This would look beautiful on Y/N.’ or ‘I bet baby girl would love this one.’” He chuckles out a sigh as he turns to look at you. “Honey, even a down payment on the cheapest engagement ring is over a month’s worth of my income at Family Video. Then I got to thinking ‘Geez, Harrington. Can’t even afford the fucking wedding ring. How are you going to help pay for the wedding? Honeymoon? A house so you and Y/N can start a family? Kids…”

“Steve—”

“So you’re right. Not only am I not man enough to tell you the truth but I’m not man enough to fucking give you the life that you deserve.”

You felt terrible. He had never mentioned any of this to you so you thought he has trying to make more money to be able to provide you extras but instead was willing to work under a man he hates to give you what he considered as necessities.

“Steve, I—”

“Just move, Y/N. I need to clear my head.”

You threw your arms around his waist as his remained at his sides. “Daddy, I love you so much. I wish I could make you understand, I…I don’t need a fancy ring, honeymoon, or even a fancy house. All I need is you. If you want to work at a different place or make more money that’s fine. I support you but don’t do it for me. Do it for you and do something that makes you happy.”

He sighed; his tone still stern but much softer than before. “This is the last time I’m going to ask. Move. Or I will move you.”

You did as you were told and he slammed the front door as he left you alone.

#############

Steve wasn’t gone for long, coming back an hour and a half later to find you on the floor of your bedroom next to the pile of clothes he had thrown with your knees to your chin and your head in your lap. 

He moved the bottle of vodka to your side out of the way as he sat down, leaning against the wall behind you. 

“Y/N…”, he began but your gravelly voice cut him off. 

“I hate when you leave like that.”, you turn so your watery eyes can find his. “I know you’re just trying to cool off but I hate not knowing where you are especially after a fight. I get scared you’re going to disappear again.”

“I went for a walk. Just around this little area, ya know? There’re these two-story houses back there.”, he gestures absently outside. “There’s one in particular with stuff hung up in the window that have to belong to a little boy’s room. Sometimes, I picture me coming up the driveway in my BMW, running up the walkway in my suit and some kind of ratty but overpriced brief case filled with documents I don’t care about.”

You scoot back so your closer to him as you listen to him speak.

“I would open the door and see my beautiful wife sitting in the living room with our kid who definitely has my hair…” He smiles when you giggle. “…and you’re reading them one of the new comics you got from the store. As I head towards you guys to see what you’re up to, I pass our wedding photo. Robin has on this goofy pink bridesmaid dress you picked out but she’s rockin’ it.”

“I always liked purple.”, you grin. 

“Oh, that’s a good choice. Eddie and Dustin are making stupid faces that they refer to as metal.”, he playfully rolls his eyes. “You stand out though…in your gorgeous white dress that just flows perfectly around your hips… and you have this…fucking beautiful wide smile…”, Steve’s voice cracks as he turns his head away from you.

“Daddy…”

“You think I just want to make more money to do this extra stuff for you and yeah, I do. I wish I could do more than just dinner and a fancy necklace. My dad always took my mom to Europe and things like that before he fully settled into being a douchebag. But the things I do for you now, I do because I CAN afford them and I do them because I fucking love you. This job? My inheritance? I’m doing that for us.”

His hand reaches out to caress your cheek. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, baby girl. I want THATlife with you.”

You tackle him, crashing your lips to his. Steve’s back falls against the floor as you straddle his waist, his hands brush your hair back as he holds your face to his. Your kisses come with a sense of urgency as if you’ll explode if you don’t have him right this moment. 

Leaning back, you hastily pull off his shirt as his own palms rip yours open. Pushing the garment down your arms, he tosses it to the side as he sits up to suck on that sweet spot on your neck that has you running your fingers through his hair as you moan. 

As your hips grind against his, he groans, flipping you on to your back as he yanks off your bra and squeezes your tits roughly in his hands. Steve’s tongue plays with your nipples as your back arches, pushing yourself harder against him. 

“Please, Daddy. F-fuck. Fuck me.”

He growls at the sound of you begging, needing to be inside of you just as badly. With your legs still clinging to him, he sits back on his knees to unbutton your pants, trying desperately to tug them off. Quickly lifting yourself up, you unbuckle his belt blindly as your mouth trails kisses up his stomach. 

Steve sighs happily above you as his fingers tangle in your hair before pulling your head back to kiss your lips. 

Raising your body, you allow him to remove your jeans and panties so he can do the same as you get to your feet. You wrap your arms around his neck as he follows you to your bed, collapsing on top of you as his tongue glides along your skin. 

“Daddy. I need you…please…”

“You need me? Where do you need Daddy, baby girl?”

You whimper as you roll your hips, dragging your pussy lips along his cock. “I need you inside of me, Daddy. I need you to fuck me.”

Steve smirked as he spit into his palm, stroking himself a few times before guiding himself into your core. Your eyes rolled back as he gradually lowered his chest to yours, balancing on his elbows as he gazed down at you. 

“How do you need it, honey? Do you need it deep…and…hard?” With those last few words, he roughly thrust his hips into yours, grinning as your mouth fell open. “Yeah? Does that feel good, baby?”

“Yes—mmm—your cock feels good. Tell me…tell me more about…our future, Daddy.”

A breathy laugh escapes his chest. “What do you want to know?”

“Are you still fucking me like this?”

His grin grows as his forehead presses against yours. “Baby girl, I’ll be making love to you till we physically can’t and even then, the nurses will have to pull us apart.”

You laugh and he stops moving as he watches you. “How do you see our future?”

You lift your head to kiss him. “All I see is you.”

Steve pumps into you again at a faster rhythm as you drag your nails down his back. “Cum for me, baby. I want to feel you squeeze my cock when you do.”

Your hands clung to his shoulders as the ball in your belly dropped and you panted out moans as you came. 

“Yes… fucking good girl. My good girl.”, he praises as he chases his high. 

His breathing stutters as he grunts just above your lips. Pressing him tighter to you, you felt him warm your insides as he thrust his seed into your sex. 

Delicately, he pulls out of you, Steve’s strong hands behind your back as he lifts you to your feet.

“Be careful, baby. Don’t step on the things here.” He gestures towards your jewelry box he threw. You silently nodded as he led you into the bathroom and prepared the shower.

“How much control would he have over you?” Steve looks down at you in confusion as he guides you under the water before following behind. “Your father?”

“Not much but he owns the company and is in the building so…” As he starts to clean your body, he notices your eyes stare off into the void. “What are you thinking, honey?”

“My dad has been wanting to invest some money and purchase another business in Hawkins. Right now, he just owns the shop my mother works at. I shouldn’t say just…I mean the store has made a lot of money for them both. What if… he could convince the owner to sell Family Video?”

“Y/N, if he wants to invest money somewhere he should do it in you. You love that comic bookstore.”

“Yeah, but I love you more.”, you respond coyly raising your eyebrow as you repeat his earlier words. “Plus, the lady that owns my store is barely involved and trusts me with everything so it’s basically already mine. Steve, my family loves you and he would definitely take care of you, Robin, and Keith.”

His forehead leans down against yours as you wrap your arms around him. 

“It wouldn’t hurt to talk to him about it.”

“Yay!” Steve smiled against your kisses as you excitedly brought his lips to yours. “I just want you to be happy….I just want you.”

After finishing your shower, he dries you, tugs one of his shirts over your head, and places you into bed. You watch him as he wonders around the room, tugging on some shorts before bending down to gather your jewelry box in the corner. 

“I’m sorry for this.”, his jaw clenches as he hangs his head. “I’m sorry if I scared you or anything.”

“You behaving like a baby doesn’t scare me.”

Steve chuckles as he smirks in your direction. “I deserve that.”

“You hiding things from me and then leaving like you did. THAT frightens me…”

“I deserve that to.”, he sighs. Steve walks on his knees towards the side of the bed and reaches over to pet your head. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner that I was interviewing at my dad’s firm. Seeing those engagement rings had me both excited and terrified. I spent so much time not being with you when I could have been, you know? I feel like I wasted so much time being a dumbass that I want my life with you to begin as soon as possible. I’m just broke as hell.”

He smiles when you laugh. “You started off sounding like this would be a great proposal speech and then ended it like that!” Your fingers grip the ones he has resting on your cheek. “Baby, you could purpose to me with a zip tie and I would say yes. Our wedding could be in the Hawkins grocery store wearing overalls with messy hair and I would still say I do. You don’t need to impress me with over the top or even traditional things. I’m already impressed, Daddy.”

Steve leans up to kiss your lips, yelping jokingly when you pull him on top of you. 

“Now that was a way better proposal speech, baby girl.”

Before you say anything, yes his name is "Deceiver" I mean what do you expect to a writer who create im not that kind of talent novel with a name Cruel, Stigma, and Remember?

---

Deceiver is born from the deception of the last Hero and Last Demon King for deceiving the world and going against their will by joining hands

The moment Deceiver became alive, he knew his own existence as the demigod and also the world error

The first thing he did was to find his fathers but they were both dead. his only goal was to find the reincarnation of his father Deon Hart since Demon King are an existence who can't reincarnate

He can find his father easily by knowing the flow of the world and see where his reincarnation ended up with

it took him a lot of courage to approach his father even after 150 years of watching him from afar until he finally took the role as the youngest and the 5th disciple

Raven 'saved' Deceiver from the gate and monster. The little child is cunning and only disguise himself as a young boy for Raven to rescue him

at first it was a coincidence encounter but Deceiver wanted his father attention and been yearning for him

he called him "father" at their first meeting and the rest of the disciple looks weirdly at him because he's the first one to call Raven a father while the rest of them still doesnt have the guts to call him father yet

Raven cherish Deceiver as well as his other disciples. He took care of them with warmth and love as they needed

Raven openly call him with endearment names like "my son, baby, dear" and more cute names even if he feel betrayal from world error

Raven doesnt like world error even if they're demigods. he realize this fact after he notice Deceiver's height is out of normal from ordinary human

as if his height (196cm) is similar to a demon king who is also world error

later when Raven found this fact especially the eyes reveal itself. instead of taking revenge like his previous life as Deon Hart. He choose to disappear from their sight for 10 years

Deceiver was grieving at rejection and started a war against the holy land just to find his father. he even go against any race such as elven territory and directly loot their fairy herbs for their father and even threaten the emperor Ardall of the Empire.

He is banned in Esperanes Kingdom alongside with Raven but he still go inside as he pleases. He doesnt give a shit about law and he even have the underworld at the palm of his hands

He is above the emperor and they can't go against the demigod.

Deceiver truly loves his father and willing to create a world directly for ■■ who is now called Raven as alias since the world cencored the name Deon

Deceiver kept asking Raven why does he abandoned him but Raven only replied he must kill Deceiver since he is the world error. He doesnt like how his father treated him but he still so pure as a child who only wants his father with him

but despite these toxic behaviour between father and child. Raven still allow Deceiver to cuddle him and call him his son. they made a contract as sort of temporary truce in order to live later

The truce is about Deceiver doing more good deeds in the world in order to be accepted by his father more. He isnt bad as the previous world errors.

Deceiver even mention his other father the Demon King to Raven to prove his point his existence as demigod is different just like how the demon king separated his existence with the demons. He just wanted to be accepted by Raven.

Deceiver calls the other disciples as Noona and Hyungnim except to the newest disciple who took the youngest name Dan.

all 5 disciples doesnt like Dan (reincarnation Dan)

Deceiver called Cruel the Guardian Spirit as parasite who keeps sticking up to his father

(Ps. Cruel wants to beat up all his nephews and nieces because they're all little shits who kidnap and threaten their papa to stay with them even if it means breaking Raven's limbs because the children develop a separation issue since Raven left them for 10 years. Though they were already crazy little shits before they got separation issue but it just got worse lmao)

He knew his father very well especially his favorite clothing style and sometimes help him to fix his clothes. Unlike the other disciples, Deceiver isnt affected by the curse to forget Raven since he is a demigod.

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#5

Yuu not giving a fuck anymore bc they get into fights too many time so if someone's gets in their face ONE more time there bitting them and ripping off skin.

TW: BLOOD, BIT OF A NOSE BEING TEARN OFF!

So there's been this Savanaclaw wolf beastman that kept messing with you. But after getting into 10 different fights he still messed with you so you decided to give him a warning anyone would understand. ESPECIALLY Beastman from Afterglow Savahna.

Savanaclaw student: *leans in hella close, where you feel his hot ass breath* You looking for a beating perfect?

Yuu: come a lil closer..

Savanaclaw student: *does so but dosen't realize* What you gonna-

Yuu: *sinks their teeth in on their nose and is using their nails to tear at their shoulders and uniform*

The first years: *watching in horror* OMG YUU-

The dorm leaders: hOLY SHIT-

Savanaclaw student: *finally pries off Yuu with a little bit of their nose missing and a fuck ton of scratches in their shoulders and their uniform ripped to shreds* YOU- YOU FREAK!

Yuu: *spits the bit of nose they have in their face and grins a feral grin* awweee did the big dumb wolf not know this herbivore has fangs?

Savanaclaw student: FUCK YOU! YOU- YOU-

Leona: *steps between you two* Enough! *looks at his underclassmen* go to the nurse.

Savanaclaw student: *nods and rushes off*

Leona: *looks at Yuu* wtf herbivore you never told me you had fangs?

Yuu: HE asked for it. *turns to Epel who gives them a napkin and Sebek giving them a water bottle to spit out the blood* thank you. Plus I usually don't fight like that but I'm pretty sure he got the message.

Epel: HA he's lucky you didn't try to go for the throat.

Sebek: I agree. BUT THAT WAS SO FOOLISH HUMAN YOU COULD GET SOME DICEASE FROM HIM NOW!

Yuu: *shivers* EW SEBEK DONT SAY THAT!

Jack: *dosent know if he's turn on or terrified* omg you almost ripped his face off-

Grim: THATS MY HENCHMAN MAHAHAHAHA!

ADeuce: *looking at Yuu dumbfounded and agreeing not to anger you*

Ortho: I can do a quick scan too see if you got anything from him!

Yuu: aahhhh yes please and thank you.

768 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

#4

Mc being the one to take out the sword in the stone.

Like NRC goes to RSA and there's this sword in an anvil onto of a stone in the middle of the campus and some prince overbloated and Mc got separated from their friends and had to improvise since the overbloater found them first.

So they rushed to the sword they saw and everyone getting there at the last second where Mc took the sword out like a prince and pointed at the overbloater.

And everyone just stops bc there's a light coming from heaven and angels are singing-

Even the overbloater even stopped and in shock transformed back.

Mc: oh thank God I don't know how to use a sword-

RSA: ALL HAIL THE KING/QUEEN/MONARCH!

Mc: *looks at the sword then at the stone and anvil.....and it clicks its like the sword in the stone* Fuck.

Mc is then crowned the all mighty ruler above every other Monarch. And they're just sitting there like wtf do I do. Ambrose then walked I'm "Huh I knew you were destined for somethign I just didn't know what." Mc then just sits there as their friends come to them.

The first years are asking to be apart of their court. Which Yuu says yes to. The royal boys of the group are like "Holy shit I could marry them-" and the ones from lower family's are like "Ayo slide some money-" Riggie is quaking in his boots bc holy shit your loaded now-

All the overbloater feel horrible bc the one destined to rule over the lands like a true monarch is here and they almost killed them.

Crowley is having a field day with this "I knew you were a good bet to chose!" Mc orders Crowley to be banished from their Palace. Sebek and Jack are kinda like bodyguards now and yeah.

Mc: No bc fr how do I rule a country-

Leona: idk I'm the second in line so-

Malleus: *sighs* I'll help come on well start with the basic lessons from Lilia.

To me it kinda makes sense since Yuu is basically acting as all the heros when fighting the overbloats. (I also have a angst idea for when Malleus overbloats.)

So thoughts on this?

944 notes - Posted April 29, 2022

#3

Me thinking of RSA how they would see Yuu as a person in distress since their such a nice person in a Villian school. There was like 100 RSA boys.

But they don't tell Yuu they kidnap them. And Yuu punches them and runs to the Hall of Mirrors.

They rushed in Heartslabyul and Scream for Ace and Duece while Grim is setting fire to the RSA boys. Ace sees them first and jumps into action and Deuce runs in too swinging at all the boy's trying to grab Yuu.

Trey ends up hearing everything and Carter rushes to them Cater sends out a text to everyone and Riddle gets it.

In rage Riddle sends Off With Your Heads to 4 different RSA students.

Yuu continues on to Savanaclaw where Jack smells their destrest really all of the Savanaclaw boys they ended up seeing Caters text and jump into action they got 8 RSA boys and Leona was going to use Kings Roar but Yuu ran to him and told him NO-

Ruggie pickpockets all the rich boys. And made them trip and follow him. Jack ran at Yuu and booked it into the Hall and into Octavinelle.

Azul already saw the text and had Floyd and Jade ready.

He let Jack and Yuu in but when the RSA boys came they got 6 of them old was yelling leave leave shrimpy alone while Jade gave his Sadist smile.

The RSA boys screamed for help and Azul smiled at them "I can male a contract to help you~" bit non of them were willing to.

Jack continued to run away from the ones that rushed out of Octavinelle.

And now in Scarabia Yuu screamed for Jamil and Kalim.

Jamil ordered his boys to throw sand in the RSA boys they got 10 of them. Kalim a little bit mad at them for trying to take his friend made Oasis maker in then to drown them for a little. And Jamil used Snake Whisper on them to listen

Jack continued to Pomefiore where Vil was itching to show these RSA boys who is the fairest. Epel used himself as a distraction and Rook shot them down with electric arrows.

Vil gave the students gas masks and made sleeping smoke bomb to know out 20 RSA kids but Jack continued and made sure jot to breath in the gas.

Ignihyde was easy to get in and hide because of the security Idia had he saw the text and wanted to punish the normies trying to take his player two!

Ortho didn't like how his Older sibling was going to get kidnapped so he did a scan on all the RSA kids.

They got 40 of them. But Jack continued but ended up falling when Beast got him. Jack yelled for Yuu to run and they did so.

And to the final dorm Diasomnia.

The rest of the RSA boys were after them. 12 were left. Sebek and Silver got to them knocking down 6.

Then Lilia came and got 5 one got away and rushed to Yuu.

Yuu got cornered while this happened all the NRC students rushed in and to Yuu.

They saw Yuu was cornered and wad going to butt in but then some of the Defeated RSA students began to fight again.

Yuu: BACK UP!

Rando 'Prince Charming': Come fair one I can free you! *grabs their arm hard hut dosent know*

Yuu: ok then yOU ALL ASKED FOR IT *this caused some of the students to stop fighting and Look at them*

Yuy took in a big deal breath and bellowed

See the full post

1,055 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

#2

Pt 9 scammer get scammed. And a cute arson date!

See the full post

1,177 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Yuu, breaking into Diasomnia through a window, holding an orphaned baby dragon: MALLEUS I HAVE FOUND US A CHILD

Malleus: what-

Lilia: A GRANDCHILD-

Silver: oh just like father did with me-

Sebek: NO I WON'T STAND FOR THIS!!

Yuu: I found them in the forest so hurt and decided I should come here bc it imprinted on me so-

Malleus: I will be the best father there could ever be!

Lilia: *wiping a tear of joy* That's my boy!

Sebek: I SAID I WON'T- *sees the baby dragons small form and hoe cute it is* I WILL PROTECT THIS BABY WITH MY LIFE WAKA-SAMA!

1,593 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

1749

How old were you 10 years ago? I was 15.

The last time you went out to eat, where did you go? I already talked about it in detail in a previous survey but my workmates and I went to a wine bar for Trina's despedida. We went to a nearby bar after for more filling bar chow cos all they had in the first place were light finger food meant to be paired with wine.

What did you order? For the wine bar, we got a few bottles of wine, clams, a cheese plate, and fries; for the bar, we had chips, sisig, and mac and cheese balls.

Think of the last film you watched. Who was your favourite character? I can't remember the last movie I saw because I rarely watch any anymore; but the last anything I watched was Prison Playbook. I'm only one episode in, but my favorite has been the sweet dude who was part of the same inmate batch as the main character. Least suspicious character so far, and it helps to know that his reason for getting incarcerated was merely because he didn't pay back the loan for his mom's surgery.

Do you use Twitter? How about Tumblr? I do use both, although I'm much more active on Twitter because all I do here is take surveys on weekends and the occasional weeknight.

What colour are the walls of the room you’re in? They're white.

What would you like to say to the last person that hurt you? I have not felt hurt by my loved ones for a very long time now. That feels pretty great to realize!

When was the last time you felt disappointed? Who/what cheered you up? I was soooo bummed last Friday – I had booked a visit to a museum, but I didn't expect the traffic to be absolutely awful (it was mid-afternoon, when roads would be relatively more relaxed) that I got to my destination 40 minutes after my reserved slot. It was also the last timeslot for the day, so it wasn't like I could just join the next batch of visitors.

I figured it'd be stupid of me to even show up lol, so I just went to the food hall next door, which also ended up sucking because there was no cell signal inside; I couldn't even use my data. At least I got a delicious spicy tuna poke from my visit.

Do you have a friend whose name starts with ‘L’? Describe him/her. There's Lea and Leigh. Lea is SUPER friendly, I love love love having conversations with her so it's a shame we see each other so rarely; I also see her as headstrong, ambitious, and intelligent. Leigh is creative, gentle, and a really talented singer.

When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? Holy shit I suck at waking up, I must have missed Jungkook's set at the Global Citizen Festival and I hate myself. Then I checked my Twitter (it was 7 AM by that point; they advertised the set as starting at 4 AM, Manila time) and apparently he was still in the middle of doing Seven LOL. Man did his set three hours late so I got to still hang out with him for a few minutes AND see the teaser for 3D!!!

Have you received any compliments today? Nah.

Describe one of your favourite items of clothing. Where did you get it? My brown sleeveless maxi dress - just Shopee, haha.

Name one of your favourite foods that starts with the letter A. Arancini.

Is there anyone from your past that you sometimes miss? Tell me about them. Only people I can think are Sofie and my grandpa. Sofie was my best friend in high school and we were each other's biggest confidantes. She was born overseas but since her parents were incapable of raising her and were separated, she was sent back here from childhood, and that's how she ended up in my school by around Grade 7. She had hair as thick as mine, loved makeup, and got me into Audrey Hepburn. We grew apart in college and saw each other a grand time of Once before she migrated to the UK this time last year. Our relationship post-drifting-apart has been wholesome and there's been absolutely no grudge or bad blood or whatever. I was raised around my grandpa routinely telling me random trivia and general knowledge, and I think I got my love from learning from him. He is a gifted writer and he apparently used to write my grandmother poems when they were younger, and is into history. If there is one thing he can't handle well, it's alcohol, and I have my fair share of trauma from what I've seen of him when he has had too much to drink. Nevertheless I think of him fondly, especially for the person he was without his brandy. He died in 2015 from a sudden heart attack when he was visiting family from our province.

How long have you known the last person you text messaged? Since 2020.

Do you know what the person you miss is doing at this moment? Probably on his lunch break.

Has anyone told you that they love you today? Yes.

In the last week, what’s the kindest thing that someone has done for you? My sister making me instant noodles when I asked her.

Is there a song that makes you cry every time you hear it? We Are Bulletproof: The Eternal has been a little rougher to listen to these days. So has Love Letters.

If someone read your mind right now, what would they hear? They would hear remnants of Le Sserafim's Fire In the Belly because I can't stop thinking about it lmao.

Do you have any favourite jewellery that you wear every day? Yes, my purple heart charm necklace that Reena gave me.

What colour are the eyes of the last male you talked to? Dark brown.

Are you wearing anything orange or red? Yes.

Who was the last person you said “hello” to? Idk, I think my sister.

I like to think there is always something to smile about…so, tell me, what’s your reason to smile right now? News about my potential resignation has apparently spread at work so I'm just happy that I'm not bearing it on my own anymore. They know I have plans to leave and they know I'm not too thrilled with my promotion, so at least I don't have to worry about violent reactions when the timing is finally right to step back and step out.

Also, Jungkook new single on Friday.

you know this matpat video? yeah you probably do. (before you click read more, watch it)

anyways, i have decided that it is outdated, since it is from the far past (2017)

so, i give to you, my modernized rendition of this theory, and a shit ton of math to go with it. enjoy.

here we go.

there are now 277 Spongebob episodes, so 277 x 1,320 = 365640

The bee movie is still gonna be the same length, so I copied Matpat here, so 7136 seconds OR 7136 x 365,640, which equals 2,609,207,040 seconds (holy shit)

as of today, (February 14th, 2023 (happy valentines day,)) there are 740 episodes of the Simpsons, so i did the math (740 x 2145)

meaning that there are 1,587,300 (approximately 1.5 million words) in total.

SO. THAT MEANS 1,587,300 TIMES EVERYTHING ELSE WE GOT HERE.

i am just now realizing this is gonna take ages but oh well

now it's time for every video uploaded to youtube.

so there are a LOT more videos on youtube now. (We aren't gonna count youtube shorts because hell no)

hours per minute (500) x the amount of mins in a year (525600) x the amount of years youtube has been alive (18 years. (also it turns out youtube's anniversary is today, so happy birthday youtube! :D))

so 500 x 525,600 x 18 = 4,730,400,000 hours of content. holy shit. why am i doing this.

alright, we're getting close to the end. ITS TOY STORY TIIIMEE and i am NOT counting toy story four because the meme strictly says TRILOGY.

also i am lazy.

4 hours, 36 minutes (or 16,561 seconds) 84.6% of the time, the color green is on the screen, so that means 16,561 x 84.6% = 14,011 seconds with green. (you most likely already knew this because you probably already watched the video)

matpat did the math for me here so i know that there are 34,085 syllables in the ice age pentolagy.

RECAP TIME: 365,640 seconds of spongebob x 7,136 seconds of bees x 1,587,300 simpson vowels x 4,730,400,000 hours of youtube x 14,011 seconds of green in the toy story trilogy x 34,085 syllables in the ice age pentolagy

converted into seconds: (vowels and syllables not included)

(the youtube time was very hard to calculate.)

4,730,400,000 = 149 years, 10 months and 25 days

149 years first. there are 365 days in a year so 365 x 149 = 54,385 days. 86400 seconds in a day, so 86,400 x 54,385 = 4,698,864,000 seconds (oh boy.)

the 10 months come next. there are 304.167 days in 10 months so 304.167 x 86400 seconds in a day = 26,280,028.8 seconds in total

2,160,000 seconds are in 25 days

2,160,000 + 26,280,028.8 + 4,698,864,000 = 4,727,304,028.8 seconds in total.

meaning our whole total (finally) will be the result of:

365,640 x 7,136 x 1,587,300 x 4,727,304,028.8 x 14,011 x 34,085

now. the moment you all have been waiting for. the answer. the answer that might break my computer.

im gonna do this bit by bit

365,640 x 7,136 = 2,609,207,040

2,609,207,040 x 1,587,300 = 4,141,594,334,592,000

4,141,594,334,592,000 x 4,727,304,028.8 = 19,578,575,583,572,016,804,249,600 (holy sweet mother of jesus.)

19,578,575,583,572,016,804,249,600 x 14,011 = 274,315,422,501,427,527,444,341,145,600 (WE'RE ALMOST DONE I PROMISE.)

274,315,422,501,427,527,444,341,145,600 x 34,085 = A WHOPPING 9,350,041,175,961,157,272,940,367,947,776,000 SECONDS.

9,350,041,175,961,157,272,940,367,947,776,000 seconds in total

aka: a LOT.

if you convert it into hours (which im too tired and lazy to do, since ive literally spent an hour on this. also none of the calculator sites on my computer even support the equation) please let me know

in conclusion, NEVER AGAIN. also happy birthday youtube yadda yadda yadda

in all seriousness, this was very fun. also very stressful. hope you enjoyed whatever this is

2022 overview

(istg ive been doing this for 10 years frnfiesfjeiss)

Hmmm lets see where did i start 2022

oh yeah tbh this year didnt really “start” for me until like april

because everything before april was just me working at that last stupid ass fintech 

what a waste of time honestly

but i did just get paid for doing nothing LOOOL shout out to my sis?

honestly since the beginning i knew it was just a stepping stone to moving out of to into dxb altho the transition and whatever isint easy and i still dont like living here 

but yeah i think i was playing guitar gyming, going through an ed ( i miss my slightly skinnier body but getting back there i think.. fml) and just idk hating work a lot

like the way i hated that job was insane if my sis wasnt there too i woulda bBEEN fired i did nothing but sit on the sofa there an browse pinterest and apply to other jobs and watch movies aoirNhaguiraehgubna

oh well tbh that whole job itself was a waste 

i applied to a crazy amount of jobs and had mad interviews

then got am lol after months 

shoutout to expo? lOOOL all my calls from them happened there im deaefiwfnjf 

i miss expo LOL that was also a big 2022 thing 

common grounds brr reading brrr

orange hair to blond hair to silver hair to platinum blonde brr to pink rip miss it kinda

my hair fried as shit 

oh yeah i also went to mecca this year brrr 

honestly that was an amazing experience mecca and madina was so beautiful i felt so at peace there

except for fighting the guards there cuz of the covid bullshit .. but whatev fuck em 

holy shit actually this year was a lot

i prayed there cleansed myself etc etc 

then i came back and i got a job at am LOOL

then i went to cali LOOOL

which was a ego death existential crisis of its own 

my whole life i dreamed of cali / LA and then hated it?

but also i realized yeah i really need to drive to survive in america

which kinda made me hate it lol 

venice beach was rlly nice like cali beaches r beautiful 

but like i envisioned it i went there alone and then felt hella unsafe the whole night there 

im sorry but it is not the 80s anymore 😭? lMFAOO OBV mfs were on DRUGS 

smh 

i saw jana there! that was cool also finally went to astro burger and fairfax 

thrifting there was ass

overall LA dissapointed me but i got high and ate good mochi which was cool 

OHH also i went to smokers club fest which was like the best music festival i ever been to

THE WAY I MANIFESTED THAT LMFAOOO I USED MY fintech MONEY TO GO THERE LOOOOOL 

also i guess shoutout to nadim for coming and basically driving me / us there cuz honestly if he didnt idk how the hell i woulda got there / back

but LMFAO BRR SUCCESSFUL TRIP

oh wait i forgot so yeah after my 16 hour flight and hours of walking around dt LA then to venice and walking all of venice someone tried to rob me at like 11 pm on the LA metro nice! nice! i was also high as shit! nice ! nice! lMAOFEFKEROPIGJERIS

good thing im a very good high functioning stoner? also my phone was plugged into my powerbank so my phone just went flying out both our hands and i just picked it up IGOT SO LUCKYY LMGOOOO WITHOUT IT IWOULDA BEEN FUCKEDDD imagine all the pics i woulda lost omfg naiufhrguiherguerh anywho thank god i didnt lose it kgriojgsrigjsr 

i didnt even see the guy at all omg egroghtiughrtjg

anyways after that i finally saw zaina after like 4 years in sf 

i guess sf was cool like it was normal majority of it i was just w zaina then could only go to the city w nada 

i mean honestly travelling and doing things is alone is always kinda like.. whats the point? but i dont think sf or LA are good for solo travel?LOOL 

but i guess that confirms i dont want to live in cali? i liked the nature and ppl there but uhhh idk maybe if i drived? idk fuck us lol 

im just happy i got to go to smokers fest lol

anywho i came back and then moved into my new place in ad and started working at am 

actually technically my first am meeting was in sf at like 4 am and i slept through it lMFAEOFJREIFJ  

but yeah then i started working at am 

i met that dumbass who i worked w for like 6 FUCKING MONTHS dealing w her ass and babysitting her dumb ass

i didnt even kno she would be there but whatever 

i tried to b cool w her but on god ive never met a more stupid human ever 

thank god i have a brain and im cultured and have critical thinking skills like THANK GOD IM ME 

then the whole j shit happened honestly dont want to talk or think about it anymore

tldr is i was mad lonely and its been so long since i talked to a guy that was a dumbass misogynist arab that the second i did i wasl like oooo 

and the fact that ivana also described him didnt help fueled my delusions 

even tho she said it wasnt him i didnt care cuz im a dumbass

then that actual dumbass fueled me more 

but honestly shout out to me telling her about ivana cuz if i didnt she wouldnt have led herself to her downfall which meant i woulda had to keep working w her lMFAOOO she stressed me the hell out on god 

but yeah anyways honestly all that was just bullshit im just sick an tired over the gl shit

unfortunately all that delusion and bs made 2022 a horrible fucking year cuz i was mentally stressed and depressed and having breakdowns left and right

but at the same time made me rlly passionate for work which helped me pass my probation w flying colours

now the mf think we cool when i highkey HATE his ass now 

seriously drained the fuck out me after all that bullshit im like a somber dead zombie now 

never NEVER i deadass 10000000 mean it this time am i ever going crazy over someone ever again

gl better love me and reciprocate or NOTHING im not sacrificing myself ever again FUCK no 

also worst bday of my life seriously unless i DIE theres no way my future bdays can be as bad as i spent the one this year 

it literally makes my blood boil because i did not deserve that 

basically after may my whole life became work and it was horrible i had ppl messaging me and irl asking me if i was okay like it was a complete 180 from yp i did nothing in that job to fucking EVERYTHING LIFE CONSUMING BULLSHIT in this one

hence why im now over all this bs and over working and over extending myself for this job , once 5 pm hits BYE also not working extra or more than i have to fuck yall this is just one job im still young i got my whole future ahead of me

work smarter not harder is my moto end of the day i get my money i get my exp and we go up this isint my end all and i can ALWAYS do better

not saying im not grateful for this job i rlly am but the way i approach it now is gunna be mad different in 2023 cuz i cant do that shit to myself again

but since im 10000000% over that bitch it should be easier

now my focus is just to do the shit i need to do work on mysself and personal goals, manage the mf i need to manage and travel 

which is another thing shout out to them for all the travel i did this year lMFAOO

like yeah my bday sucked ass but right after i got sent to helsinki which i loved moomin world brrr

then i went to copenhagen to see amin e and i love denmark too

except for throwing up before my flight to london hmmm

also ididnt know they smoked there that might be my future city fr LMAO 

then i went to london which was fire i missed that city its like a european ? british ? toronto LMFAO but cooler imo less shittier weather

chilled w p and k 

got high 2 brr 

european loud is weird lol 

i saw j there and  was ocnfused as to why i felt nothing yeah no SHIT bitch the mf ugly and boring as hell 

really need to constantly remind myself who the FUCK i am and what im capable of omfg 

the way my confidence and self-esteemed dropped this year

now i have no energy for none of that i just dont give a fuck about nothing anymore 

being in london was coo w money tho ugh shout out to having funds

also i got a ps5 this year best purchase ever

i think at this point i just wanna save now like meh i guess there is things i want but idk 

i dontt knowwww

after london was more bs ass work

went to seattle which i actually liked lol more than cali 

i was just happy to exp fall weather 

RECORD SHOPPING SEATTLE WAS INSANE

oh i ddidnt rlly mention how much records i bought this year LFMSIOERGJEFE 

london and copenhagen thrifting was IT and so was record shopping

but seattle was x10 better jfc 

i think i have almost all records i want? except for a few but ill get the rest this year i guess 

after seattle or i guess during idk that dumbass got fired brr karma 

went rogue on events still sends me 😭😭😭😭 mf if only u KNEW 

i think at that point i was just exhausted like from travel and what not i just wanted to stay at home and gym

too much travel = i was eating weird and not gyming so idk 

im getting back on track now but smh

 i read a lot this year which was good

movies was okay 

finished the most paintings this year

got into oil pastels and 3d sculpting 

my gym is fuckkk amazing except i miss my old pilates teacher and boxing teacher fml 

consume by chase atlantic took over this year for me LMFAOO smfh 

went to SA again hated it annoying 

yeah by december i was drained as hell from work like i still am 

shout out to sam still for being my only friend this year STYLL 

oh yeah nadine came love her 

z came too but honestly meh .. lol ? the d apple picking thing cheeses me out but whatever 

like how u actively friends w someone who shits on me and then go on smthing that was our thing w them?

so done w bum ass canada honestly no intention of going back there at all

another thing to like im kinda over all my canada friends like yeah yall are still my friends but i dont care anymore im not letting the past drag me back 

im just not allowing myself to suffer anymore 

hmm wat. else

yeah idk this year was just swallowed by work

sole was ass met amine felt ass about it 

 i need to do something w myself that i genuinely gaf i need to put myself out there more

i need saturn to move the FUCK out of aquarius that what the fuck ineed

now that that bitch is starting to move im already starting to feel better

but now i gotta wait styll until fucking march for that sooo 

overall like hard ass year high high and low lows 

im still grateful for myself + life and happy i get to save money and make money and gain experience and travel 

im just hoping next year i can do a good job at work normally and be happier / more balanced and make stuff that i genuinely like 

i just want to be happier this year

also i bought tickets to japan SO IGEIRUGHESRUGYBHESUYRN LMFAOOOO YEAH A BITCH GON BE HAPPY SHE BETTER FUCKNG BE HAPPY 

2023 will be better 

I adore Guns N' Roses with my entire heart and soul. They mean more to me than I could ever make anyone understand. I would die for my gorgeous, dearly beloved Slash 💘. He is the love of my life. I adore him and quite literally worship the ground he walks on. I've been obsessed with other things before, and even had other celebrity crushes, but I've never experienced anything like my GnR obsession. It is the most fun one I've had yet. And I've never felt the same way about any other celeb guy as I do Slash 😍.

The first time I heard the name "Guns N' Roses" was in 4th grade, when I was in a play of The Jungle Book at my local Arts Center. Welcome To The Jungle was our curtain call song. I heard the name of the group behind it, but it meant nothing. But somehow, someway, I remembered that plain as day...and that's eerie, because however many years later, I'm a diehard, obsessive fan.

However, I've only been obsessed with them since May. I even remember the very day and setting in which I realized and began my obsession with them. I was with my best friend and we were watching the Paradise City music video. I even remember it was sometime after 8 that night.

I was so skeptical at first because of all the stories and rumors about what bad boys they were. For a long time, I adored them, but never in a good conscience. That's gone away now, and I'm all in. But they were such a fun band to love, their music was epic, and I'd lost my heart to Slash completely. Once I fell, there was no looking back.

That was also in a particularly terrible time for me. At the peak of a time in which I was really struggling, I was also brand new to GnR. Their music, as well as them in general, was such a comfort to me. Especially Don't Cry. When I would break down and cry- bawl, even- I would remember those words. "Don't you cry tonight, there's a Heaven above you, baby." Hearing those words sung by a voice I so dearly loved truly encouraged me, and helped me to look up. I genuinely, truly believe that. Call me crazy, call me whatever. But that band, and that song in particular, helped see me through. I believe that with all that I am.

I've gotten to love them more and more every day. Oh, the HOURS I've spent listening to their songs, looking at them on Pinterest, or just thinking about them. It's insane.

My top 10 favorite songs by them are, in this order: My Michelle, Paradise City, Mr. Brownstone, Dust N' Bones, Double Talkin' Jive, Welcome To The Jungle, Don't Cry, Rocket Queen, Estranged, and November Rain. (I'm sure about the first nine, but the 10th alternates a lot. Right now, it's November Rain.) I'd love to hear some of your favorites 💛.

Yes !! I know what you mean I would literally die for them too . I’ve been obsessed with all kinds of celebs and bands but nothing can EVER compare to the boys ! Idk something about them just caught my eye and I went into a deep dark rabbit hole of learning about them . And I’ve been in love ever since !!

That’s so cool that , that was y’all’s curtain call song ! That is really eerie !! Similar story I believe it was 4th grade aswell or 5th not for sure but me and my friend dressed up as slash and axl I was slash and she was axl and I never thought anything about it until this year and literally just fell in love with them !!

Holy cow mine started around then to that’s so weird !! I really don’t remember how mine started I believe maybe watching 80s music videos. I was going thorough some shit when I first started listening to the band and honestly their songs can get you through some tough shit . Just something about hearing axls vocals with slash’s solos , Izzy’s rhythm, duffs bass , and stevens drums it just lights a fire in me and makes me the happiest person in the world . Omg don’t even talk about the hours gosh it probably be half my lifetime lol the pictures oh the picture I could do it for days the amount of pictures I have saved to my gnr Pinterest pin is insane !!!

Oh man that’s so hard to choose from I LOVE all of the songs !!

But if I had to go in order for right now my favorites would probably be you could be mine , nightrain, mr brownstone, don’t cry ,paradise city ,14 years ,double talkin jive , it’s so easy, dust n bones , but there’s so many more it’s just so hard to pick !!

I love those boys so much don’t know what I’d do without them and don’t know where I’d be ✨💕

Thank you so so much for the ask I really appreciate it when I get asks from all of my followers it really makes my day !! Thank you for sharing this 💕

did you have a favorite character on sense8? i only watched the first season i think and i liked all of them but i remembered really enjoying Wolfgang, Sun, and Lito's arcs personally

oh man it's been ages since i watched and i'm bad w names (memory problem) so let me just cheat and check the wiki.

i'll lead with: i really like every character in sense8. picking a favourite would be hard. actually i'm just going to ramble on the cluster and associates and let u draw ur conclusions lol. i'm very indecisive n bad at picking favourites. there will prob b spoilers nonnie sorry i don't remember what was what season in my head it's all one chunk of television

will: took me a while to appreciate him, but i like how his story ended. i really like him n riley, but i don't appreciate either of them alone? like i'm thinking about it and i don't have much to say other than one thing i'm putting in riley's section to give her some meat.

riley: see will. also, i really like...there was that thing when they were playing a trick on where they were? so they got the yogurt? i was super excited bc i really like icelandic yogurt so i was like YEAH THAT'S MY SHIT

capheus: OH MAN i fucking love him. i didn't get his references and i thought it was funny when he said zebra (rhymes w debra) but i really, really, really grew to love him. he's just such a warm guy and i can't think of a single moment he was on screen that i didn't like. also as someone who can't drive (or, well, couldn't at the time and now a very big "it's complicated"), his driving? like? that was easily the MOST superhero shit in the show to me

sun: i really liked her plot line, but not while i was watching the show. i was watching this show as a fairly young teen, so i didn't really have a good appreciation for what was going on with her at first. i was very "screw your family! why the hell are you making these decisions!" now, looking back, with the benefit of a good number of years (and some more life experiences and cultural awareness), i have a lot of love for her.

lito: i lied he's my favourite. as soon as he came up on the list i realized that, without hesitation, he's my favourite. no ifs ands or buts about it. i don't know why. i never really related to him very much (i would LATER, but i always adored him), and i wasn't like "oh cool gay character!", so i can't really say. i just know that i adore this man. what he does for daniela? holy shit dude. lito my beloved.

kala: i really like her but i don't have much to say. also i like the scene where she's mixing chemicals. i like her relationships. i just really like her but in a quiet way. she never stole the show for me, but i love her a lot.

wolfgang: eh...i d k. i never got into his plots. nothing against the dude, he just never really spoke to me? i did LIKE his plots, i just wasn't half as invented, and i thought he just was kind of meh. like cool dude go have your diamonds. whatever. i want to b really clear that the fact that i'm being so passé about him is deceptive because if you asked me to compare wolfgang and a character from like. anything else. i'd go oh yeah wolfgang is 10 million times better.

nomi: uhhhhhhhhhhhh. she's torn up in a tangle of emotions for me. i was watching this show as a young, trans teen with home life issues (if you can't tell from the disorder), but she also didn't "hit too close to home" or even "close to home." at the same time, she was kind of the dream. (well, sense8 plot aside.) she got out. she transitioned. she had a fucking amazing girlfriend. so i have this weird emotion about nomi i don't know how to express. i think it's positive, though.

amanita: what you thought i was only doing the cluster? nope. i have to get amanita in here so we're also doing a few bonuses. i fucking LOVE amanita. i love how she adapts to nomi's situation. i love her i love her i love her. going through the past few months, i now know just how valuable having a support like her is when you're dealing with multiple people in your head. (no, osddid and sense8 aren't alike, except superficially, but there are some meaningful comparisons to be made.) so. yeah. she's always been really top tier for me, but i have a new and profound appreciation for how important she is.

hernando: he's fine. i just feel weird leaving him out since i'm gonna do daniela. i get his struggle, i really do. i just don't love him.

daniela: FUCK YEAH DANI. okay i love her sm. she really, really had to grow on me: at first i thought she was kind of a bitch, and then i thought she was REALLY a bitch, and then i loved her. i have no idea when the flip switched, but it did and it did HARD.

riley's dad: sorry i don't feel like seeing if he has a name i assume he does

wait hold on tumblr yelled at at me for having too many characters in a block LOL

staff hey hey hey staff please make bullets not work as one block if ur gonna b like that about it that's really annoying

(also please let me copy text across more than one block. it's really hard to move around multiple paragraphs of text at a time. it's been driving me crazy. pls help me.)

okay ANYWAY.

riley's dad: i really, really love him. holy fuck i want to give him a hug. no. i want to get a hug from him. i love him sm.

so yeah that's how i feel lol

Kim needs her head shaved along with mila and kels and Janette

Hold them down and beat them if needed

They attacked me

Remember the video of my injuries 2 years ago this week? At Steve Gabor’s house I couldn’t walk for a month!

They paid my hairdresser to hurt me since 2019

Remember me complaining about my hair?

And Janette helped them since 2017 hurt me

Attacking everything

My family friends jobs school online and in person and worse

They drugged me and when I woke up I looked beat up and couldn’t walk for a month…

Attacked my hair

Kill nigger Dave too

They are all apart of this oh my god what the fuck

That’s so creepy

Like WHY

I never did anything to any of them

Holy shit

I’m only recently finding this out and it’s 2024…they’ve been attacking me since 2015, I remember a man attacking me at work (Cody’s dad)

Even before this Nicole was doing almost the same thing just without the money$$$

Dave’s family needs to be attacked too

All their jobs and schools and family and friends EVERYTHING OH MY GOD THE WHOLE FAMILY NEEDS TO DIE

Almost 10 years you’ve been attacking me and i only realized til recently….

Your punishment needs to be worse

But what is worse than that???

Obviously they need the exact same thing to happen to them but worse and longer

I think their punishment needs to be at least 30 years

I was so nice when they were hurting me oh my god

I need so much help with this

Common sense can see how evil they are and deserve it

Please I really need it

They’re been torturing me for a fucking decade!

I’ll fucking kill myself if I don’t get justice after getting tortured my entire fucking life

The first half was my family and Nicole, second half was Kelsey and Janette….

Please there has to be something good in the world that can help and has been watching and listening

Protect me and watch me repair myself please

That’s why my hair never got to grow back , if someone protects me it probably can, I can heal if I’m protected and the only way to protect me seems to be killing who hurts me

28.

... You might be wondering why you’re here. You may be wondering why the fuck I’m here, as I star to write this in December 2022.

On my Tumblr, no less.

a life update

I’ve been meaning to write up something as a way to reflect on my year and create/update my resolutions for every birthday, but life has been quite eventful. To get you up to speed (both my Tumblr followers and... my irl colleagues?):

Took a gap year from uni and worked at a preschool as an Admin Assistant

Eventually did finish my degree at the local state uni (while still working)

The pandemic lol

Actually moved out of my parents’ house during the pandemic... good shit.

Started playing on a private server on a certain mushroom game

Met a handful of good people, but mostly met a lot of bad apples :)

Found out that my now ex-best friend is an abuser and manipulator

Got my heart broken, got fed up with people on the mushroom game, and entered my Hoe Phase™ with dating apps

Met with... a lot of guys during this time :^)

10/10 would do it again because I ended up meeting my now partner through Bumble

Jumped the gun and moved to Washington state with him and his dog

Confirmed that I am not a dog person

Got a kitten!!!!! 

Worked as a contract worker for a biotech company in the city

Also worked at home as a transcriptionist

Lost another best friend for... honestly, I don’t know what the fuck.

And 1.5 years strong with my partner :)))

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reflections after turning 28

(holy shit i’m old.)

That being said, I’ve been reflecting a lot since moving out of California, and now that I actually feel like an—gasp!—adult, there’s so much to think about. These past two years, I’ve been developing a set list of resolutions that I’ll continue to hone and refine for (hopefully) the rest of my life; however, first, I wanted to reflect on certain topics that’s you’d commonly see in New Year’s resolutions.

Family

I wholeheartedly agree with the statement that distance makes the heart grow fonder because I think I have a better relationship with my parents, now that I’m two states away from them.

I believe that my relationship with my mom, in particular, is less strained than before. I realize that there’s really nothing I can really do to help her and her issues aside from recommending her to go therapy (which she’ll probably not go to, but one can dream).

I still talk to my cousins (on my mom’s side) pretty regularly, which is nice to have since I’m so far from them.

Friends

Oh, this one’s a doozy.

I have practically zero friends in Washington, but I’m not complaining lmao.

Ever since Chai-gate and me leaving Virus, the amount of friends I’ve made on ML have dwindled LOL. While I miss the camraderie that I had with Virus folks, I think it’s better that I’m not with them any more. I do have a handful of people (from ML in general) who I talk to occasionally. :)

Sometimes I do think of CY, but then I’m reminded that he’s a fucking sociopath, and then I don’t miss my memories with him as much.

I don’t miss KZ as much because I genuinely can’t wrap my head around what happened. I’ll live with the good memories I have of her and move on.

I sorely miss hanging out and talking with AL all the time. I feel like we’re growing apart, and I really don’t want to happen. The past two times I’ve been back to California, we’ve hung out briefly. I wanna plan like a monthly hang out session on Discord where we just watch Netflix or play games together.

Health

So, so much better than previous years, for sure.

Ever since I got diagnosed with nonalcoholic shitty fatty liver disease, I’ve been exercising so much more than ever before. More running than swimming, but I can’t complain because I never wake up early enough to go swimming. :)

I also got over my fear of using the machines and weights, and even use an app to create a workout plan. I now look forward to the weekends where I use the machines/weights after five weekdays of intense HIIT running.

Food is about the same, although I will say I don’t drink as often as I used to (probably because I don’t associate with ML people any more). I try to incorporate more veggies now, whether it be eating a salad or pickled veggies.

Speaking of veggies, we try to do Meatless Monday, or at the very least, be pescetarian for a day. (It’s easier for me because I don’t like eating cooked fish :P)

I also have been limiting only one sweet drink per week, including boba, Dutch Bros, Starbucks, etc.

Alcohol is only once per week as well, but honestly, I haven’t drank any for a couple of months now lol.

Career

Working at the biotech company was really nice! I got to commute to and from the city every weekday and tried the public transportation. I got to meet a bunch of people who were friendly with me, despite me being under contract.

After my contract was over, I ended up working a freelance job as a transcriptionist. I’d like to think of it of me getting paid to listen to interviews and typing what they say. Most of it was really interesting content.

In February 2023, I finally started working full-time and in-person at a speech therapy clinic in a local town within the county. The distance is far, and I kind of feel like I’ve walked into a dumpster fire, I’m excited to work there since my major is closely related to it.

Money

As seen in the previous section, the income was better in the beginning of the year.

Working as a transcriptionist was more like like a lil pocket money, to be honest. Maybe if I did them faster, I’d get more monies. B)

The most important thing for me was trying to not spend and save money as best as possible. Buying the necessities like groceries was of course important, but treating myself was also important to keep in mind.

As mentioned in the health section, my sweet drink spending reduced by a lot since I only allow myself to get it once a week. I also only buy something from my wishlist if I get at least 75% completion on my weekly habit tracker (which, (un)fortunately for me, wasn’t a lot of times).

Independence

It’s been getting so much better, and I’m really proud of myself.

Again, working as a transcriptionist gave me some money so I don’t have to completely depend on my savings or my partner.

I try to do Saturday Errands by myself to get easy stuff out of the way, especially things that I can achieve locally. On the other hand, I don’t enjoy going out to the city without my partner because it can be a little sketchy sometimes.

However, I actually did meet a friend I met from ML in the city! By myself (and, well, my partner’s dog as emotional support)! And driving! Past me would be so proud.

I honestly don’t foresee myself ever having to go to the city without my partner because we like to go out on dates in the city if we are there to run errands, but who knows.

Education

I’m sad to say that I haven’t really read much, both for leisure and for educational purposes. I don’t know how I’m going to fit it in my schedule, but I really want it to happen.

Whether it be having study dates at a cafe with my partner as he brushes up on stuff for his job, or carving out some time to learn at home, I still want to keep learning.

Hobbies

I unfortunately haven’t really done anything fun for myself either.

While I have been consolidating my playlists on Spotify, I’m still not caught up with my K-pop favorites, and I’m... six years behind :^)

For film photography, I still don’t have a working camera. Getting one has always been on my mind, but after meeting up with my film photography professor from uni when I visited Santa Cruz, that sort of ignited a desire to get a new camera ASAP. I also have a bunch of unopened film that I need to start using before they go bad.

It’s crazy to think that I thoroughly enjoy going to the gym now. I don’t know if it’s because my younger cousins are gym fanatics, if it’s because I’m dating someone who also likes going to the gym and encourages me to improve, but I really do enjoy working out, much more than I have in the past, even when I was at my beloved VillaSport back at home. :’)

I’ve also got a Switch in 2022 (or 2021, I don’t really remember)! I mainly play AC:NH, and sometimes I’ll play Pokémon Violet if I have some more time.

Cooking’s something that I’m having more fun with now. I don’t think I did a lot of cooking when I was living in Milpitas, but now that I live with and date someone who really likes to cook, I started cooking a lot more too! Now that we have a stand mixer, I can attempt baking >:)

Finally, I’m starting to get around writing “reviews” for series and movies that I watch. I feel like it’s hard to really enjoy watching things any more just from the sheer amount of D-list films that my dad put up on TV and I’m jaded because of that, but I’m hoping to see some gems.

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I suppose that’s all from me that I can share. I wanna start doing these every year to reflect and to look back. If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading. I hope to grow better during this new year. :)

Since people actually liked it here's the continuation of the modern Xiao camgirl!darling post I cut from the original, as promised, most if it's under a cut. Here’s the original post. I didn’t think people would actually like the camgirl concept so I thought I was rambling too much and cut this part out lol but here it is now!

Tws: derogatory language/female slurs, mentions of reader being a cheater, reader is promiscuous, murder, incel-y mentality (our modern boy would be a 4chan user, look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong) and mentions of upsetting realistic things, this one's darker than the first part. If you're bothered by other modern stuff for being too realistic best avoid this too probably, involuntary pornography ---------- Coming up on one year since you gained your most loyal subscriber, you get a rather... Unsettling request. He has something he would like this month, in fact, he adds a few hundred to the regular amount (he's been saving up just for this) and asks for just the answer to one simple question. What's your name?

Your real name, he clarifies. He doesn't need a last name, nothing like that. It would just... Make him feel closer to you. He avoids using the term "anniversary," even though that's what comes to mind. He also doesn't tell you that he already knows, that this is just a test of your honesty. For someone who's so cautious, you would think you would think to give a fake name whenever you go to coffee shops for them to yell out, or change it on the packages you get. You hesitate. And it would be easy to give him a fake one, yet, you don't really think about it too much, you kinda think about that as an afterthought, what you should have done, but your very real name is typed out and sent before you really process it, and you feel a sort of unease, but it's already sent. No big deal. He can't do much with just your first name, right? If your name is common, you feel pretty safe, but even if it's a rarer one, surely there are other people with it, right? He's happy though. Kinda surprised, really, that you didn't lie to him. Maybe you trust him?

You're not stupid, you know something is wrong, you're becoming paranoid. And you connect the weird feeling to him, bc he goes radio silence for several days leading up to finally taking you. This dude who used to respond to any messages you sent within 10 seconds suddenly... It's like he disappeared? He hasn't responded to anything you send him ever since you said your name. You send him messages saying you haven't heard from him in a while and you're worried... The way you word it makes it sound like you're worried about him, but you both know that's not what you really mean. You're hesitant and suspicious of every guy you meet. You buy pepper spray and start carrying some around, you nearly spray a poor guy who you thought was trailing you, turns out he just lives in your building. He makes note of it. He watched you buy it, and is quick to realize you always hold it in the same hand. That must be your dominant hand, that's an important mental note for the future, since you're more likely to try to attack him with that hand. He'll remember. He has a note in his phone with information like that. Height, weight, birthday, social security number, parents' names, school she graduated from. All in little bullet points. He adds dominant hand to the list. He's not worried at all really. Already watched you struggle to carry packages he could lift with one hand, your strength doesn't cross his mind as a threat. At first he just doesn't know what to say, and that's why he stops responding, he feels too awkward but... He starts to enjoy the weird feeling of power the whole situation is giving him. You're worried, you're constantly paranoid, and it's because of him. Now you finally understand the same feeling you inflict on him, how you consume his thoughts every waking moment of every day. It used to irritate him that you held so much power over him, while he meant nothing to you. Now, the tables have turned. You're forced to have him constantly in your mind, whether you like it or not, just like you are in his. It's giving you what you deserve. It gives him a feeling of significance. He matters, even if it's not in a good way. And he keeps telling himself that once he's all you have, he'll matter even more. He's smart enough to realize that if you're paranoid, you might have mentioned him by username to someone else, so to ensure he knows what to do from this point, he has to sneak into your apartment at night as you sleep. It's so unbearably tempting, you have no idea -- you're right there and so vulnerable. He has to hold himself back because he knows that if he so much as touched you, he couldn't hold back. But it's torture, standing there so close, watching your chest rise and fall as he fiddles with the phone. Even when he unlocks it with your thumb, he tries to hold the phone from an angle to do so, even if the skin of his hand grazes yours, it would be too much. You have a lot of contacts across your messages and a bunch of different apps. You have one guy in your online chat you've exchanged far more messages with than anyone else! Hundreds upon hundreds of messages, and huge paypal cash drops, who the hell is -- oh, wait, that's him. Nevermind. But, to his pleasant surprise, he's the only one of your... customers that you regularly talk to, the rest just have a few paypal notifications or clarifications on your policies, but no actual conversations like you have with him. Of course, that's literally part of your deal, he's literally paying for it, but it makes him happy nonetheless. But as he goes through your personal messages, he finds that you are... in no shortage of options. Like, holy shit. It was kind of expected. You *are* really pretty, that's how you have so many followers after all, but this is a lot. So many contacts named some variation of "DO NOT ANSWER!!!" or "creepy guy that forced me to give him my number at the club", etc etc. Plenty of unsaved numbers texting you to never get a response. You've ghosted enough dudes to make your place haunted. It's... kinda awful, really. It also kinda hurts his heart a bit more than he expected. You have so, so, so many options, even without the cam thing, he's more insignificant than he even realized. ...Well, for now, at least. He'll be significant to you soon enough. And then you seem to have a sort of "boyfriend of the month" deal going on, aside from that. Plenty of male-name contacts whose last exchange is a "don't talk to me again!" message from you, plenty of messages corresponding to the same time as those to your girl friends about how you can't find a good guy and every relationship ends badly. How unfortunate. See, it's because you choose bad guys. You probably go for dicks and not.... well, he can't exactly pull the "nice guys like me" mentality, he doesn't delude himself into thinking he is one. He's lucid enough to realize that most nice guys would not be sneaking into your house and standing over your sleeping body to stalk your phone as they make plans to kidnap you. He knows he would probably fall under the classification of a creepy guy. He's just too far gone to care. Still, he would be so much better to you, he tells himself, not a cheater or a player like you complain about. To say he resents those kinds of guys -- ones that can do the unthinkable and actually talk to girls, let alone successfully, only to be assholes, and yet girls like you still go for them -- is an understatement. You're basically just a slut, you probably ignore all the guys that would be nice to you, just like all those internet forums he reads talk about. Typical.

Well, those forums also make fun of guys like him who pay for girls like you, but he can't blame them. It *is* kinda pathetic. There is one dude you talk to, though, now. Current boyfriend of the month, from the looks of it. You have a little heart emoji next to the name. He knows it's kinda pathetic that something so simple and insignificant sets him off, but it does, makes him pout and grind his teeth and curl his other hand into a fist. It's so unfair. Some dude you barely know gets to fuck you, and you haven't even known him nearly as long as you've known him! He doubts this dude -- hell, any of your boyfriends -- has put in the same amount of money that he has into you. They fuck you practically for free. And that, unfortunately for you, only solidifies his decision. If you're fucking some dude for a month because they buy you dinner every now and then, if we're going by that scale, then you owe him quite a good deal of pussy. Any hesitancy or guilt he had about the whole thing is gone. And he's a little mad. Keeps grumbling to himself that you're just a loose whore, fucking so many people and putting yourself out there on the internet. He wonders if they even know about what you do. Probably not, you probably don't tell them. Yeah, that sounds like what you'd do. Really, you're kinda lucky that someone like him is so willing to commit to you, since you are a slut. You don't deserve it, but he loves you anyway. And you'll probably have the nerve to be ungrateful for it too. Sigh. On the bright side, by some miracle, it would appear that you have not told any real-life people about him, you haven't sent out any hey if I disappear you should probably look into this creep type of messages. But he can't afford to have you doing so in between now and when you move in with him, so, he decides he has to act within the next 24 hours. While he's here, though, he decides to do a quick sweep of your place. Makes note of what snacks and drinks you like, what brand of toothpaste and shampoo and the like you use, so he can buy some for you. Maybe you'll adjust better if you have some of your favorite things. And then, after days of silence, he sends you a message, says it's fine, his internet went out for a few days. He means it to reassure you, but somehow it makes you feel more uneasy. He has everything planned out, or so he thinks. But you deviate from your usual schedule. When you leave work or class, you don't go home, you go somewhere else, first. How strange. Maybe picking up groceries? He follows from a distance. No, looks like you're going out to eat...? Maybe you're meeting friends or family or -- no that's a guy. Fuck. You must have planned this just earlier today, since there were no messages on your phone. It makes a bitter feeling rise in his gut. He hates that he can't get close enough to listen to your conversation. Well, he hates the whole thing, sits there and seethes the whole time. Watches you through the windows in the parking lot, thankfully you chose to sit outside. Feels his eye twitch and his hand clench every time you smile and laugh. It takes way too long. The fact that you split the bill feels like a punch to the stomach too. Shouldn't you be used to taking guys' money? Oh, and what's this...? This guy isn't the picture on boyfriend-of-the-month's contact. Well, well, well. You really are a whore. See, it's a very good thing he's taking you off the market. You're probably a reckless heartbreaker too. He's doing all the other men of the world a favor by taking on such a burden as you. And it makes him feel far more justified in keeping you locked away, since he has every reason to believe, now, that you'd run off and fuck someone else if given the chance. Halfway through, the guy briefly gets up and runs to the bathroom or something. While he's gone, he sees your face fall a bit. And then he sees you look around. You turn your head from one side to the other. Your eyes scan the area. You shuffle uncomfortably and you bite your lip and your eyebrows furrow. You're scared. You feel like -- no, you know you're being watched and it scares you. That makes him a little happy, for some reason. He wouldn't be sure what to do if you went home with the guy, but thankfully you don't. No big deal, this was just a bump in the road, he still beats you back to your building and he still goes through with the original plan. Even better, now that it's even darker outside. If anything, now he's got extra aggression and testosterone in his blood, running over the events in his head and going through some... very forceful and violent fantasies. The message he sent had you uneasy, and it's also how you immediately know what's going on when it does finally happen. You keep telling yourself you're being unnecessarily paranoid, that it's nothing, maybe that guy actually got his life together or got a girlfriend or something. Things like... What you fear, don't happen in real life, that's stuff that only happens in movies and stuff. You keep calling it that or it in your head. That won't happen to you. It's not going to happen. The series of events that play out in your head, scenarios you try to push out of your mind. Sure, in the movies it always takes place in the stairwell, but that's fiction, so you go up the apartment stairwell as always. You're not gonna let a bunch of B-grade old films scare you. And it's always some dude standing and waiting, but that nice young boy that you've never seen before is just leaning against the wall, scrolling on his phone, he only glances up for a second as you pass by, he's not a threat, you're being paranoid. You flash a smile and a little wave as you walk by, he doesn't return either, just looks back down at his phone. See? This guy doesn't even care, you're being paranoid for nothing, you tell yourself. But as you make the turn to go up the next set of stairs you hear the click of a phone being put on the lockscreen, a few metallic footsteps ringing out in the open hall and echoing, coming up right behind you, but for that split second you expect a tap on the shoulder, maybe he has a question, it's not like movies, it's not like movies, you're not gonna get a cloth shoved over your face and--- Well, it's not exactly like the movies. You were prepared, but it all happens in one motion - one hand grabs the hand with the spray and twists it, making you drop it, the other wraps some material over your mouth. You were prepared enough that you don't gasp in surprise, you hold your breath and thrash, but it doesn't make any difference, you wiggle and writhe for a few moments but can't even begin to break free, eventually succumb to the lack of oxygen and take a deep breath. It takes a few seconds to settle in, it's not so immediate. You instinctively panic and thrash again, but he has a complete iron grip. The dizziness takes a second to set in. He huffs a bit in frustration and says stop moving, it's fine. It's definitely not, but it occurs to you that that's not something a kidnapper looking for any potential vulnerable girl says. It's a poor attempt at comfort. It's someone specifically looking for you. And if that wasn't enough, he says your name. Your very real name. Maybe it was a mistake to tell him after all. But the worst part of it all is that there's not a single doubt in your mind, even in your panic you have the realization, it's definitely him and this is literally exactly what you were afraid of. And it's the last thing that goes through your head. And once he's got you out cold he just takes a sigh of relief. He may have been very neutral faced to you, but in reality he was incredibly nervous. He hasn't exactly made or used chloroform before, our boy is operating on YouTube tutorials here. He's got adrenaline pumping through his veins and carries you with his arms trembling. He's on autopilot carrying you out, but his mind is also consumed by holy fuck I'm touching her she smells so nice she's so warm her face is so close I'm actually touching her-- you get the idea. He feels bad about taping your hands and feet together and putting you in the trunk of his car, kinda. It feels too much like what a really bad person would do to a girl they didn't care about, like he's a trafficker or a murderer or a criminal or something, but that's not true at all. Sure, he's still mad at you for being a whore and all that, but it feels improper, he just has no choice. It's late at night, but he can't risk getting pulled or being at a stoplight and someone seeing an unconscious girl in his backseat, so, trunk it is. But once he's home, to his tiny little downtown apartment (he'll probably be able to move into a better place soon, since he's not paying you tons of money anymore), he takes a quick check to make sure the coast is clear, and drags you out, up the stairs, all the way into his apartment, sets you down on the bed, where you'll be staying. He even washed the sheets and cleaned the place up a bit for your arrival. You probably would not like to see what this place looked like before the five trash bags worth of cleaning was done. He'll probably be more motivated in the future, though, since now he won't be so depressed all the time. And then the adrenaline of the fear of being seen is over, and that's when it sets in that this is real. It's very, very hard to hold back. You're real, in the flesh, he can reach out and touch you with his hands! It feels like a dream. And he realizes he can take this opportunity to do things he would be far, far too embarrassed to do when you're awake. He takes a few minutes to do just that, cautiously reaches out to poke your face, and then run a hand down your neck, your skin is so soft! Your hair smells so nice, he lays down beside you and runs his fingers over it. Puts hands on your body and just lays there in awe of the fact that you're real. He's pretty certain he's never actually touched a human female before now. Everything about you feels soft. Weirdly feminine, which is something very foreign and confusing to him. And he kinda uh... Loses it. Goes buckwild with just taking in every aspect of you. Again, since you're unconscious he can be gross and entirely shameless about it. Peels your clothes off and runs his hands and mouth over every inch of flesh, takes the tape off your lips and presses his tongue into your limp mouth until he's forced to let go to breathe, fingers you and tonguefucks you and sucks on your nipples and your neck. Lays pressed against you and just breathes in your scent. It takes every ounce of self control he has not to fuck you already. But he does jerk off a few times. That way he'll last longer, so it's a win-win. And then... you twitch. Tape goes back over your mouth. And then, you twitch again. And this time, you make a little "mm!" under the tape, you start trembling and he sees you try to pull your hands apart. You whimper. It sounds scared and distressed. He feels kinda bad, but it also makes him hard, and that outweighs any guilt by far. Besides, it's what you deserve after what you did earlier. You tortured him mentally, it's only fair. On the good side of things, you suppose, you don't have to worry about the usual fears one would have over such a situation - you're fairly certain he's not going to kill you, nor sell you. In fact, the bed you wake up on is pretty soft. You're naked and the tape is uncomfortable, but... At least he was considerate enough to give you a blanket. He does care about you, after all. First thing he says is asking if you're awake. Can you hear me? You hesitate a moment, and then you nod. He's a bit new to this whole abduction thing. He wants to make sure he didn't pull a muscle or something with the tape. So... Do you hurt anywhere? Does your head hurt? Oh, right, the tape. He's not stupid either. You have to promise you're not going to scream. In fact, he's angry enough about earlier that he gets a bit meaner than he originally told himself he'd be. If you scream, I'll make you regret it. Understand? You nod, so he takes it off, holding it close in preparation in case you were lying, but you don't actually answer him, you're silent again for a minute, then just ask a question of your own. You're that guy, right? He's silent for a few seconds, there's no need for any clarification. Finally just says yeah. You just breathe again. Silently. Finally you summon the courage to ask him what he wants with you. And why are you doing this to me? And his answer is fairly simple. What do you think? You don't say anything for a minute, and neither does he. He's not good with words, and you don't really have ones for this situation. It occurs to you that offering to pay him to let you go is probably not the solution. After all, this is the guy that's dumped unimaginable amounts of money onto you, you couldn't even come close to paying him back. You figure maybe, after he gets what he wants... well, you get the courage to ask.  Is there anything... that I can do o-or... anything that will make you... are you gonna let me go, after you....? And the answer is, again, simple, but the one you did not want to hear. No. He's a blunt boy, so he doesn't beat around the bush, but he doesn't torment you by keeping anything from you. In fact, he's already rehearsed this speech a few hundred times in his head. He just wanted to make sure he's very clear so there's no misunderstanding, and while he likes some discomfort in a vengeful sort of way, he doesn't want you to be too freaked out to where you have a panic attack. He says he's just going to... keep you here. He has the things you'll need. He got your purse with your keys, so he'll even run to your apartment after this to go get some of your stuff. You don't need to tell him which number, he adds, he already knows which apartment you're in. He needs you here, he says. And he makes sure to add that it's your fault. If you were never out there selling yourself in the first place, this never would have happened. If you're good, he can make things a bit better for you. But you need to go ahead and accept that you're going to be staying and that no amount of begging or offers is going to convince him to let you go. He can be nice to you, he promises. A better boyfriend than the others. You just have to be a good girlfriend -- you know, obedient and sweet and do what he says. Just like you always were when you talked to him. Just keep being sweet like that and doing the things he tells you to do. You would argue that the terms boyfriend and girlfriend are not appropriate descriptors of the sort of relationship he's creating, but you keep that thought to yourself. Instead, you ask, How long are you going to keep me here? Which is a dumb question, since he's pretty sure he already made that clear. Forever. -----

There's a double homicide in the area. Takes place on the same night, and the same diameter of knife is used, so police believe maybe the two incidents are connected. Especially because they do have something in common, one girl. She was romantically involved with both of them. The girl in question's apartment has been vacated, very suddenly, and the girl has disappeared without a trace, taking things with her from the looks of it, so police believe she may be responsible, but other than that, they have no leads. A few weeks later, a video circulates all over the internet. Some famous camgirl finally started making porn, apparently. Just one video, but the description (which was totally written by her, it has to be since it's written in first person right?) says something about how she decided to quit camming, so this video marks the end of her career. She got into a relationship, so she says in the description, so she has to quit. It's roleplay porn, apparently, she's doing a good job at the acting. All tied up and gagged and getting fucked by some big-dicked guy holding the camera. He's silent, but she's making a ton of noise, cums several times. Really good acting, the fear and desperation in her eyes looks so real. Talk about going out with a bang. It gets a lot of likes. Tons of comments about how sad people are she's quitting. And of course, a lot of comments say, what a lucky guy.

Witch Tips 24

Holy shit it's been over a year since I posted one of these but it's because I kept setting myself up for failure by putting way too high of expectations on myself to crank out 10 new and unique and helpful tips everytime I got 100 new followers except first it was 10 and then it was 50 and holy shit I got so stressed about these so I've just been writing them down as I've thought of them instead and now here we are, please be gentle.

Hello here are tips

1. Use transfer paper and a hair dryer to decorate candles.

Maybe you're doing a spell for someone & you want to put a picture of that person on the candle. This can be a way to help you better visualize the effects of the spell on the person the spell is for. Or maybe you need a picture on the candle for some other reason. Maybe you want to put pictures of coins on it for a money spell. Or hearts for a love spell. Simply print out whatever you want on transfer paper, cut it out & place the image face-down on the candle. Then, you'll want to get your hairdryer and a piece of tissue paper (I highly suggest the tissue paper is the same color as the candle, otherwise you risk getting that color onto the candle. Which can also be fine, but if it's not what you want...) use the blow dryer on a low-warm setting to melt the photo onto the candle side. Remove the tissue paper and there you have it! A picture printed onto a candle.

2. You can incorporate witchcraft into ANYTHING... even brushing your teeth.

I recently got this fucking delicious toothpaste from Trader Joe's. I'm one of those people who sometimes struggles to brush my teeth twice a day because I hate the taste of toothpaste. So I got a super unconventional toothpaste flavor instead, "fennel, propolis, & Myrrh. And about a week after using it, it struck me -holy shit these ingredients have meaning behind them. Most obviously, myrrh is associated with wisdom and meditation. And fennel has been used in magic for centuries! Even if you use regular mint toothpaste, that ingredient has power behind it! Obviously this goes more so for natural toothpastes but I'm sure you can find a way to enchant other varieties as well! Use the ingredients already infused into your toothpaste for enchantments & glamours!

3. Actually study your grimoire.

If I sound at all harsh by saying this, it's only because I'm being harsh with myself too. Study your grimoire. Don't just write everything down & then expect to have it all perfectly memorized & be a master in everything you research. Reread it. Rework it. Learn.

4. Feel drawn to be a sea witch but you don't live by the ocean? Get a saltwater aquarium!

First off, I'm not saying that it's a flawless solution. Being a witch of the sea is more than just using salty fish water in your craft. HOWEVER, with that out of the way, there's no way that a salt water aquarium will harm your craft as a sea witch. Think of it like a houseplant for a green witch. Sure, living in the forest would be better but it's still something special to be able to bring a little piece of your craft into your home.

5. Personal taglocks make a spell more powerful, but exercise caution when using them.

Undoubtedly, using a taglock (such as a strand of hair) can better connect you to the spells you're performing, but they're not always wise to use. I only use them in extremely personal spells and crafts. Things that no one except for me can have access to. I would never suggest using a taglock on something that you wish to give another person (especially another witch) such as a spell bottle or sachet. Even if you're best friends. Even if you're siblings. Even if you're MARRIED. You never know when a relationship can turn south or what someone is capable of when they're extremely angry with you. Don't risk it.

6. Be respectful of the deities that you don't worship or work with

I don't work with deities. Shocker, I know. I have my own belief system when it comes to higher powers that I won't get into on Tumblr, probably ever. But I do believe in showing respect to all things, both living, dead, & otherwise specified. If a deity approaches you who you're not interested in working with, please remain kind & respectful with in declination. You're allowed to say no to anyone and everyone.

7. Just because someone is more experienced doesn't necessarily mean they're always right.

Without naming names or being too specific, there was a witch I followed on Tumblr for a long time. They were much older than me and had been a witch for like 20+ years. I followed everything they said as fact. But slowly, over time I started to learn more and realized I didn't always agree with them. They were SO negative. If they heard basically anything new that younger witches were coming up with, they'd have a whole 10 paragraph post about how "stupid and wrong and ridiculous and fake" these new witches were. There was not an ounce of open mindedness with this person. And because of that, I started to feel really bad about myself and my craft. Things they said would stick with me and I'd feel so shitty about it. Well fuck. That. More experience means absolutely nothing if the person is unwilling to learn or expand their minds beyond their previous knowledge. Anyone can learn and anyone can teach. Age means nothing. Surround yourself with open minded people.

8. Put full moon water into your humidifier to charge your space.

This is an idea that only just occurred to me while I was setting up my crystals & jar of water to charge under the full blue moon on Samhain. I always turn my glowing humidifier on at night while I sleep. As I watched the mist begin to arise out the top I thought to myself, 'if I'm charging that water (the glass jar on my altar) for the full moon, why not this water too?' So now, I just add a little splash of full moon water into my humidifier water whenever I'm performing rituals or doing spell work. This way, the full moon water can charge my entire bedroom with the power of the full moon as I work.

Speaking of...

9. You can charge water under more moon phases than just full.

I don't know if that wording was weird or not so I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense. My point is, I always see people talking about moon water as if it's only full moon water. The moon holds power in every phase she goes through. Adding to the above tip, you can put new moon water into your humidifier to cleanse your space. Waxing moon water to help you plan and focus. And waning moon water to assist during a banishment spell. Hell yeah dude, all phase of the moon are useful and powerful!

10. Incense matches are a great alternative to full incense sticks

I love burning incense, but sometimes it can really overwhelm the area, especially because my house is small & I dont want to expose my cat to it. Incense matches are literally matches that are covered in incense powder. They burn for just a few minutes & produce a steady stream of smoke for spells. They come in a bunch of different scents. I buy them locally for 30 matches for $1.05USD but you can probably find them cheaper online. Still be sure to keep them away from pets & those who are smoke-sensitive.

Thank you so much for reading, follow me for more #10tips, search my blog for the previous 230 tips, & have a magical day.

Discs|Tommyinnit|

(Takes place as actual Minecraft)

Tommy adored listening to Music since he was younger because of his older brother, Wilbur. Tommy's childhood was something special to him. He had a loving family which consisted of a father and two older twins. His father better known as Philza Minecraft was the perfect father, he was protective of his children and made sure they weren't hurt. His older twins were almost like different people. Technoblade always had his guard up and never really shown his emotional side except when he needed to, which never really happened. Techno also loved Greek Mythology and could quote almost every story by heart. Wilbur was more into making songs and singing he never really enjoyed violence, so he would play on his guitar while Techno trained.

Aside from his family life he had two best friends which were just as important. Tubbo was his right-hand man and was the first person to talk to him. His other best friend, Y/n was the person who he could always lean on and wasn't afraid to show his raw emotions. Sure he wanted to show his tuff side but the day you saw him cry was the time Tommy realized he could rely on you the most. Don't get me wrong he could rely on Tubbo as well but he made sure to put on a tough act for the boy because of his family life.

Tubbo's family was not the best, his father would always yell and neglect him, let's not leave out the fact that he's a drunk. His father always likes that but after his mom died his dad was heartbroken and it affected him he didn't pay attention to how his son felt. Being 6 years old and his mother passing away Tubbo didn't have the best childhood. So Tommy made sure Tubbo could lean on him.

Tommy was certainly the ring leader of the gang. He always suggested pranks and decided on games to play. Tommy wasn't happy he was younger than Tubbo but was happy he was older than Y/n. He always felt the need to protect you with every strength he could muster. His favorite game showed that. They played a game many kids played, the Knight, Princess, and the villain. Of course, Tommy was the knight and you were the princess tubbo would be the villain but sometimes Wilbur would play with them. Wilbur being 11 towered over them and was much stronger than the little kids which would make it 10 times more fun.

On his 7th birthday, he had a small party nothing too big, just his family, you and Tubbo. Tubbo couldn't get him much so he made Tommy a bandana. Even though Tubbo felt bad he couldn't give Tommy anything grand Tommy appreciated the bandana and put it around his neck showing Tubbo he liked it. Wilbur, Techno, and Phil gave him a copy of the family photo. It was rare to be able to take a photo so getting a copy of one made it just as great of a gift. Then the final gift was from you. You knew he loved music so you tried to get at least one rare Disc, but you managed to get two.

He stared at the Discs in amazement quickly running to the old jukebox his father owned. He put in the disc Cat. He smiled at the sound of the music, let's just say it was his favorite birthday gift he ever got. He hugged you which made you blush but you hugged back smiling. The others were awed at the sight. Wilbur managed to take a quick picture and made a mental note to get it printed out. It cost a lot but the now 12-year-old would do anything for his little brother.

A few months later Tommy woke up to arguing between his brothers and father. He silently stepped down the stairs making sure to go as slow as possible.

"What is up with you lately dad! All you do is stay in your room! You left us to take care of Tommy ever since you got that stupid letter a few months ago! Tommy hasn't noticed because of us!" Techno whisper yelled trying not to wake up Tommy which was a little too late.

"Not only that but you try to redeem yourself by giving us small gifts! Sure I appreciate it but I know why you're doing it! You don't want anyone noticing you've been acting suspicious lately" Wilbur crossed his arms.

"Keep it down you're gonna wake your brother" Phil whispered trying to stall the sudden outburst by the twins.

Tommy ran upstairs quietly putting clothes on to run to your house. He climbed out his window carefully. He would occasionally climb out his window if he was grounded to walk to Tubbo's house or your house. Right now he was on the way to yours.

It took him 10 minutes to get to your house. He grabbed a small pebble and threw it at your window. He threw 2 more before you opened the window looking down at the boy.

"Tommy what are doing here," I said watching the boy climb up to my window. He looked upset. Sitting in my bed.

"They're fighting again..."

"Whos fighting?" I asked sitting next to him.

Tommy was looking down tears streaming his face.

"My brothers and dad" He whispered. "It happened last week too but it wasn't that bad but they've been fighting more recently and I don't like it" The 7-year-old sniffled.

"Do you know what they were arguing about?" I asked placing my hands gently on his.

"My dad has been acting differently apparently" He sighed wiping his tears " I didn't notice but apparently it's so obvious to Techno and Wilbur"

"Maybe your dad is working on something really important," I said not knowing how to fully answer.

"Probably" He muttered

"Hey, I know how to cheer you up!" I said running over to one of my chests.

I looked through a few chests trying to find a music disc to play for Tommy. When I finally found it I ran to the Jukebox and put it in the slot. The disc played Chirp throughout the room. I look over and saw Tommy smiling just a bit.

"How do you have so many Discs," Tommy asked standing up walking to the Jukebox.

"My grandpa had a bunch before he died, he gave them all to me because when I was younger all we did was listen to the discs" I smiled at the memory.

"So why did you give Cat and Mellohi to me?" He asked

"Because your my favorite person in the world" I looked at him smiling I could see his face turn red which made me giggle.

"You're my favorite person in the world too," Tommy said pulling me into a hug to which I hugged him back.

"Thank you..."

"Your welcome Toms"

He pulled away from the hug and looked out the window seeing the sun slowly rise.

"Oh crap, I have to go before I get caught" He panicked running to the window.

"wait!" I ran and grabbed Chirp from the Jukebox running to the window hanging me the disc. "Take it"

"But I thought-"

"Let that disc remind you of me if you ever need to let out your feelings"

"Thank you" He smiled kissing my cheek then climbing down the house.

"Thomas!" I shouted but still smiling.

"Bye" He grinned waving

"Be safe" I whispered watching him run off to his house.

Tommy ran as fast as he could to his house before the sun could rise any longer. He climbed up to his window jumping into his room. He was holding the disc carefully when he was climbing so he didn't scratch it. He laid in bed out of breath from running but thank god he made it back before anyone noticed.

A few weeks later you suddenly stopped coming over to play with him and Tubbo. Tommy just thought you had something to do with your family as you did every so often. Days turned into weeks. He sat every night looking at the picture Wilbur took on his birthday of you guys hugging. It didn't sit right that you hadn't shown up or even sent a message that you were away. It confused him.

The next day he begged his family to take him to your house. Yes, he knew how to get to your house but he still wanted one of his brothers to go with I'm knowing his father was still busy. Tommy asked Wilbur in the morning but Wilbur said he was busy today and maybe tomorrow. Tommy had to go today no matter what so he ran to Technoblade's room knocking on the door. Only for Techno to say he was busy and not to bother him.

He sighed knowing he would have to go himself. He put his jacket on and shoes. He walked out of the house and made his way over to your house. Tommy ran to your house concerned, he had a bad feeling and wanted to make sure you were okay.

He saw your house and sprinted faster when he arrived he walked to the door seeing it partially opened. He opened the door all the way seeing the inside of the house destroyed. He walked inside looking around.

"Y/n?" He said seeing shattered glasses on the ground.

"Y/n?!" He saw blood on the ground which made his breath hitch.

"Y/N!" He ran up to your room panicked only to be faced with a pool of blood on the floor.

"No no no no no no," He said his body giving out on him making him fall to the ground blood getting on his clothes and shoes.

He didn't bother to get up and leave. He physically couldn't get up his body was in a paralyzed state so he was forced to lay where you possibly died. his breath was heavy and it was like he had no oxygen in his lungs. he wanted to cry for help but the way he was breathing, it was useless to try. He eventually passed out due to a lack of oxygen.

When he woke up it was night. He still laid in your bedroom but this time he could actually breathe. He then realized he had been gone all day and didn't know what time of night it was. Tommy slowly got up looking at his bloodied clothes. His tears silently fell as he made himself walk back to his house. He wasn't bothered by the noises of the creatures around the area. He couldn't care less if he got hurt because he had a bigger wound that no one would ever be able to fix.

The house lights were on and he saw people sitting outside. He walked closer and saw his family with worried looks on their faces. When they heard footsteps they looked to see Tommy slowly making his way to the door. Wilbur immediately ran up to the little boy pulling him into a hug.

"You had us all fucking worried!" He pulled away from the hug only then noticing the blood. "Holy shit your hurt"

Tommy just stood there no words came out of his mouth as his brother brought him inside to check his "wounds". He was sat on the kitchen counter as Phil raced to grab the first aid kit. when Wilbur went to take Tommy's shirt off to clean the "wound" He says nothing but dried blood.

"Tommy?..."

"She's gone....."

"What?"

"Y/N IS GONE!" His sudden outburst made the 14-year-old jump.

"She's dead Wilby" He sobbed Wilbur pulled the boy into a hug and tried calming down the younger boy. Tommy eventually fell asleep and Wilbur changed him into his pajamas taking the bloody clothes to the washer.

10 years later he sat in exile he lost his precious Discs and was now sent out of the land that he built with Wilbur and Tubbo when Phil went missing and Technoblade left. Wil eventually died by his own father. It was the first time he had seen Phil in 10 years only to see him kill one of the only people who stuck by him.

He then lost Tubbo who exiled him for a stupid prank he did on George's house with Ranboo. Tommy wasn't the type to snitch on someone so he took the blow for Ranboo. He had officially lost everything he ever cared about, the only thing he had left was a picture of you and him hugging when he was 7 years old.

"Tommy?...."

"Y/n?!"

------------------------------------------------------- Just thought of this randomly. ✨YOU ARE AMAZING AND PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE! YOU ARE WORTH IT ON SO MANY LEVELS✨