#I just don't want to ruin my moms favorite holiday and then he just has to be a fucking dick
Text
I'm so pissed im literally shaking
My mom and I couldn't find the vanilla extract and while checking the cabinets my step dad walks in and starts getting weird that my mom doesn't remember where it is when she is the one who put it away. He stands there just watching us before striding close to me very quickly
SD: You're looking in the wrong place (he said it very rudely as if we are fucking stupid for not knowing)
Then he opens a fucking cabinet above the microwave and there it is
He knew where it was and just watched us!?
Me: Well I don't live here. So how would I know that?
SD: I'm talking about your mother and how forgetful she is, when she put it away
Me: Well, everyone forgets, I do, my partner does.
Mom: SD is like a steel trap.
Me: I'm sure he forgets stuff too
So Im turning around and remember he forgot to put a power tool (A RECIPROCATING SAW WITH THE BLADE IN IT) away just this morning. (Found our kid sitting right next to it btw. AND I didn't even get super upset about it, I was very calm and was like "So this should be put away" he made sure to tell me like "oops, I forgot")
Me: You forgot that power tool just this morning. Remember? (I wasn't even mean more like "ohhhh yeah, that happend, great example to use.")
He gets super quiet and really still and just stares at me, like drilling his eyes into my soul and says
SD: You don't want to start this game with me do you?
HUUUHHHH WTF!??? WHAT GAME!?? I WAS STATING A FACT NOT TRYING TO START A FIGHT. MY TONE WASN'T EVEN ACCUSING
My mom just asked if we could stop this and I'm like still confused as fuck because START WHAT? what game WOULD WE BE PLAYING!? Everyone forgets except you? And I'm fighting by reminding him we're all hUMAn!???
And just yOU GOING TO WALK IN HERE, MAKE FUN OF MY MOM, BERATE HER AND ME, WATCH US LOOK FOR SOMETHING YOU KNOW THE LOCATION OF, AND THEN GET PISSED BECAUSE YOU THINK I'M MAKING FUN OF YOU!?
FUCK OFF
#twotalesmentalhealth#I am fucking glad he went to that Christmas party because I am not as forgiving as my mother with people who don't deserve it#I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut#then I found out he is just done doing couples counseling with my mother#SO SHE GOES BY HERSELF#jesus fucking christ#I am so#I just don't want to ruin my moms favorite holiday and then he just has to be a fucking dick#I'll pretend I'm fine tomorrow but I will never forget this and now I'm going to have a serious talk with my mom because that SHIT IS ABUSE#but after the holidays
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
How would the guys confess to you on Valentine's Day 💌
Note: This is 3 days late I know, I was on a writers block and I was having a fever and I kept throwing up in the progress while my stomach hurted and I missed a day to go to school on Wednesday to do my test because of that. And now I got a massive headache, everything is just spinning at once I can't take it anymore. 😭
Warnings: Absolutely none.
Characters used: The main boys.
Gender: Neutral
💙 Stan Marsh 💠
Man wants to confess to you on Valentine's Day, he literally be eyeing his calendar and keeping track of the days leading up to Valentine's Day.
But when the day actually comes?
Oh sh!t, he's already in a panic. He doesn't know what to give to you or how to even approach you in general to confess.
He went to Kyle for advice and even practicing his confession for you with him. He knows Valentine's Day can be a really special day for your friends and s/os.
He doesn't want to mess up or make things awkward by vomiting all over you like how he did when he was with Wendy :(
He probably might go with basic presents such as: chocolate, teddy bear, etc.
He will confess to you behind the school just in case his confession goes up in flames and he doesn't want other people to see.
"Uhm, Hi..(Name)...I know it's Valentine's Day and all....and I was just wondering if you wanted to be my valentine...". 💙💙💙💙💙💙
💚 Kyle Broflovski ☘️
Jews aren't supposed to have valentines-
Just kidding.
But seriously though every time this boy has a love interest it always ends up in a complete dumpster fire for him. (Not Cartman being the man cause for it anyways).
You and him have been good friends for a good couple of months and Valentine's Day has finally arrived.
This is his moment to shine and he won't let anyone ruin it for him, not even the fatass-.
He already got a big 4ft sized teddy bear with a heart box that has your favorite candy or sweet inside it. He also got you both matching outfits to wear if you accept his confession.
He probably might want to confess to you in the park near a big tree. (Yeah, classic romance confessions)
Please accept this boy's confession, it will literally make him the happiest jew in south park.
"Hi (Name)! I hope nobody else has confessed to you...or maybe they have. But I just wanted to ask you if you could be my valentine for this holiday".
❤️ Eric Cartman 🔥
Cartman is mysteriously preping for something and not being an ass as his usual routine?
I wonder what's on his mind.........probably you.
He obviously doesn't know what to get you for Valentine's Day and he probably doesn't care so he will just get whatever he feels you might like. He forced his mom to buy the presents though! :3
He probably wants to confess to you because you're the only person besides his mom who puts with his psychotic behavior and rude nature.
And probably because you don't make fun of him for being fat😭
The confession will be in his room because he doesn't want the guys ripping on him for having a soft spot for you.
He will confess in the mostly lazily and cheesy way in the first half before actually being honest with his confession.
"So it's Valentine's Day huh? This makes me feel like I am gay if I was doing this for the guys, but since it's just only you (Name), I don't mind it. As anyone would tell their s/o, will you be my valentine?".
🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🧸
He's poor asf how do you think he can afford even a gift for you?
He feels so sad at the times you give him something and he can't gift you anything in return due to him being the poorest kid in south park.
So instead of buying something, he tries to make a homemade gift for you with whatever he can find (He cleans the material he's using if he finds something useful out of the trash).
Definitely sneaked around alleyways and stole some spare changes from homeless guys so he can use it to at least get you a candy or snack he can afford.
Same as Kyle, he will confess to you in the park while bringing the homemade gifts and snacks he got you.
He wanted this confession to be special like the holiday itself so he took a bath in the river (without soap) and fixed up in his hair a little, not a lot though.
He decided to wear his Princess Kenny outfit afterwards.
"Mmmmm...mmmphmmmmhmmphmmmmmmmmhmmp!" (Im sorry Name...I know this isn't much since I'm poor and I can't gift the same amount you do for me and my family, but it's the least I could to repay my gratitude! Will you be my valentine?).
A new banner for my new south park Masterlist that I will be making soon.
#south park x reader#south park#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#eric cartman x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#happy valentine's day#happy valentines#late valentines day#southpark blog#southpark sp#sp x reader#x reader#southpark x y/n#southpark scenarios#southpark headcanons#let me die
158 notes
·
View notes
Text
[Eat Your Heart!]
(This Bites: Valentines Day special)
Pairing: Astarion x F! Chubby MC
Plot: Winnie hates Valentines Day, having never been able to celebrate it with a lover before, but now that she has Astarion perhaps it'll change?
C/W: Suggestive themes, Sexual humor, random bigoted asshole encounter, fluffy goodness.
This Bites Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four,
Winnie turned on the television and internally groaned as she noticed a commercial come on. It was one advertising chocolates for her least favorite holiday. Valentine’s Day. Or as Winnie liked to call it Singles Awareness Day.
“God, I hate couples.” Winnie huffed a bit, glaring at the man and woman on the screen, sharing chocolates. How dare they shove their happiness in her face!
“Meow!” Maddie hopped up onto the bed and took her place on Winnie’s lap, gently headbutting her ribs.
“You get me, don't you baby?” Winnie asked as she looked down at the raven-haired feline, running a hand over her little head.
“Murp!” The cat made a strange little noise in response before leaning her head into Winnie’s hand and purring. Winnie smiled softly and rubbed the cat's head before looking over at her phone. Mom and Brian were out of town, apparently going on a romantic trip for Valentine's Day which was tomorrow.
Stupid candy heart holiday!
Winnie looked over posts online to see what everyone was doing. Her old friends from highschool were all happy and celebrating with their spouses the selfish pricks. How dare they be happy goddamnit! Winnie huffed before noticing Becca from work had posted an update about how she was going out with some girl she met at a con tomorrow and how excited she was about it.
No Becca! Not you too!
Winnie groaned and fell back on her bed. Maddie tilted her head curiously before hopping up on Winnie’s chest and sniffing at her face.
“Ughhh…. I need some ice cream.” The brunette-haired female picked the cat up before setting her on the side of the bed and getting up. Winnie walked into the kitchen and opened the freezer, getting a small container of chocolate ice cream out before closing the door to the fridge. She grabbed a spoon before heading back to the bedroom.
Winnie sat back down on her bed, trying to turn the television on something more interesting to watch as the window to her bedroom suddenly opened. Winnie nearly dropped her spoon as the silver haired vampire elf crawled inside her home.
“J-Jesus!” Winnie cursed, “for fucks sake Astarion! No one is home but me. You can use a door!”
“I suppose I've developed a habit of coming in this way.” He said with a little giggle at the end. Astarion had something in his hand as he shut the window behind him. A little bit of blood ran down the corner of his mouth. He'd just been out hunting and was able to drain a plethora of raccoons, possums and even a large deer to boot. Maddie’s tail shot up and curled into a hook shape as she padded over towards Astarion, immediately rubbing against his legs with a pur.
“Oh, hello darling,” Astarion smiled and reached down to pet the cat. “I brought you something.”
Winnie’s eyes widened in complete horror as she noticed there was a bird in his hand. A small lifeless looking bird. He held it out to Maddie who immediately sniffed it before prodding it with her paw.
“Astarion! You can't just bring dead animals to my cat!” Winnie freaked out, setting her snack to the side before grabbing some tissues from her table. She scooped the bird up into them.
“It's not-” Astarion tried to cut in, but Winnie opened the window, and the bird suddenly sprang to life, pecking her hand before flying out the window.
“Fuck!” Winnie cursed.
“Oh, now look at what you've done. You've ruined my gift to our precious little pet.”
“She's MY pet and I don't want her killing birds in the house!” Winnie hissed before rubbing her hand where she'd been pecked.
God, I hope that thing didn't have a disease….
Winnie sighed and closed the window before getting back onto her bed and sitting. Astarion pouted before sitting on the bed next to her.
“You're awfully snappy this evening.”
Winnie sighed, “sorry. It's this damn holiday. It always rubs me the wrong way.” Winnie said, grabbing her ice cream and spooning some into her mouth.
“What holiday, love?” He asked, sprawling out over the bed and laying his head on her thigh.
“Oh right, you don't know. It's Valentine's Day. Uh…It's a holiday celebrating romance and candy people really like to sell candy on it.” Winnie said, “people usually give their lovers gifts like chocolate and flowers on it.”
“Oh, that sounds positively dreadful!” Astarion said sarcastically.
“It is if you've been single all your life and people are rubbing their happiness in your face!” Winnie exclaimed. “I hate it.”
“Darling, you have me now, remember? And I would be happy to join in on any romantic festivities…as long as it's with you.” Astarion smiled softly, looking up at Winnie with soft round puppy-like eyes. Winnie blushed and bit and cleared her throat.
“I-I guess I didn't think about that…I've just been single for as long as I can remember." Winnie set her ice cream to the side table.
“Of course I haven't been able to enjoy chocolate for the past two centuries, but I'm sure you'll think of something else for us to enjoy.” Astarion smiled and laid across Winnie’s lap. Since the brunette-haired woman had begun dating courting him the two of them got a bit more comfortable with one another. Snuggles and hugs were pretty casual now, but they still tended to catch Winnie off guard. She enjoyed them, but it still felt so weird for a man to be so affectionate with her.
Winnie’s brother was raised the old fashion way, taught to be tough and stoic and that hugging was for sissies so needless to say he wasn't very cuddly. Her biological father wasn't the type of person you wanted touching you. And Brian pfft…As if she'd ever hug Brian! The fucking prick.
So really, she'd only known affection from other women. And it was all platonic. This just felt so weird. It was nice, but weird.
“Well, Valentine's Day isn't until tomorrow, but we can go out tomorrow night and do something then?” Winnie suggested.
“Sounds lovely.” Astarion hummed.
“Still, it's too bad you can't actually taste normal food. I would have gotten you a bunch of candy hearts.” Winnie smiled, leaning back a little as she experimentally ran her fingers through his soft white locks.
“The only heart I'd find myself wanting to eat would be yours I'm afraid.” Astarion joked with a mischievous chuckle, leaning up and laying his head on Winnie’s large pillowy chest as he snuggled against her.
“The way it speeds up just for me is so…. mouthwatering.” He purred, nuzzling against Winnie.
“I kinda need my heart you know…” Winnie huffed with a pout.
“Just teasing, my dear.” Astarion hummed, eyes closed as he listened to the comforting sound of her heartbeat, his arms wrapped around her plush waist as he cuddled on top of her. She honestly felt so soft and cushy to the vampire. Winnie blushed a bit, leaning back with a yawn as she ran her fingers through the vampire’s curls.
“You just gonna sleep on me tonight?”
“Perhaps…”
Winnie giggled slightly, “Okay…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day Winnie went to work as normal, leaving an Astarion alone at the house with the instructions to NOT get into any trouble. Which for most of the part he didn't. He mostly laid around, played with Maddie, hate-watched some gods awful vampire TV series, placed one of the dog’s ‘surprises’ into Brian's shoes and took a long relaxing bubble bath while using one of Winnie’s mother's facemasks.
Winnie on the other hand spent the day stocking shelves and cleaning floors at the CornerStore.
She had to deal with some middle aged lady who repeatedly kept asking where they kept their grills despite the fact that Winnie tried to calmly explain that they did not sell grills at the store and that she should try the Superstore across town.
It was honestly one huge stressful mess and eventually Becca had to come over and ask the woman to leave when she noticed the lady raising her voice at Winnie.
After the workday ended Winnie headed back home on her motorcycle. She had to keep her mind from wandering off to tonight's events, but it was hard! Winnie was filled with both anxiety and excitement at the prospect of being able to spend this Valentine's Day with a romantic companion.
Eventually she made it back and parked in the empty driveway of her home. The neighborhood was mostly quiet aside from the distant sounds of dogs barking and children shouting from their yards. The sun was slowly setting and soon Astarion would be able to leave the house with her. She entered her home, stretching out her arms before walking towards her room.
“Astarion, I'm home.” She called.
“Welcome back, my love.” The vampire greeted, a book in hand as he laid on her bed, wearing a black tank and grey shorts. Winnie blinked as she noticed the book in his hands, his fingers obscured the cover, but she had a bad feeling she knew what book that was.
“Uh…What are you reading?” Winnie asked.
“I never pegged you to be into such scandalous literature. It appears my sweet innocent little Winnie isn't so innocent after all.” Astarion purred. Winnie quickly went over and tried to grab the book from him, her face burning bright red with embarrassment.
“Give that here!” She shouted, but Astarion immediately got off the bed and held the book up high and out of reach. Winnie was able to see it had been a graphic novel, an erotic BL manga that she'd gotten as a gift back in her senior year of high school from one of the nerdy girls she used to be friends with. She had only read it once…. Okay maybe twice, but that was it!
“Tut tut, you didn't ask nicely. Naughty girl. ~”
Winnie growled in frustration.
“Give it back Astarion!” She hissed before trying to grab hold of his arm and pull it down so she could grab the book. However, she had absolutely no luck.
Do…. I suddenly have noodle arms or is he suddenly much stronger!?
Astarion was snickering, a wide shit eating grin on his face as he kept the book out of his darling’s reach. Eventually however the two of them tumbled back onto the bed in the scuffle, Winnie grunted as she fell on top of him. Winnie grunted and Astarion then tossed the book to the side before rolling over on top.
“Hey!” Winnie whined, “get off!”
“Ask a bit nicer and I may consider it, sweetheart.”
Winnie glared at him, cheeks flushing with both embarrassment and a little bit of something else as he pinned her to the bed.
“Fine…. Please…Let me up…” Winnie muttered.
“Good girl. ~” The elf said cheekily, planting a quick peck on the female’s face. Astarion rolled over and got off of Winnie, allowing her up.
“You know, I'm only teasing about the book. I really don't care about what little fantasies get you going, darling.” He giggled before tossing the novel back at her.
“You don't need to be an ass about it.” Winnie muttered before taking the manga and putting it away (this time somewhere different).
“If it would make you feel better, I might be willing to indulge your fantasies one day. Once you're ready of course!”
“I…. How would you…? NEVERMIND! The sun will be down soon! And I need to get ready….We need to get ready!” Winnie stated, her face looking all pink.
“As you wish my sweet.” Astarion smiled before glancing over to the clothes he'd had been given.
He decided to change into some pants while Winnie went into the bathroom with a bundle of her own clothing. Astarion dressed before looking at the black hoodie Winnie normally had him wear. The white-haired vampire rolled his eyes at it before noticing Winnie’s own jacket hung up in the closet. It was a dark purple hoodie which radiated with her scent. Astarion grabbed hold of it before sliding it on. It didn't fit quite right. It was a bit loose around the chest and waist while almost being too short for him to wear, but he couldn't help but find comfort in the smell. Lavender and cherry blossoms. It made him feel at ease.
Winnie came out of the bathroom a few minutes later dressed in a red blouse-like shirt with a heart shaped hole over the chest and black tights which hugged smugly around her thick thighs. She was running a brush through her hair as she looked over at him. “You know my hoodie doesn't fit you right?”
“Gods forbid you let me wear anything with a little bit of color!” Astarion pouted.
“I'm not saying you can't borrow it…It's just. I’ll buy you your own if you want one.” Winnie offered.
“No!” Astarion said quickly, “I-mean don't bother, you probably won't be able to find another one this comfortable!” The pale elf insisted.
Winnie sighed, “Whatever. Let's just go…Oh wait…” Winnie looked around in her dresser before taking out a black beanie. She got on her tippy toes before placing it over his head and covering his elf ears.
“You’re messing up my hair…Winnie…” Astarion complained and glared down at the short female.
“I always fix it for you, don't I?” Winnie shrugged before grasping Astarion's hair. “Come on! The sun's gone down!” The two left, hopping onto Winnie's motorcycle and driving off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tall brightly lit lamp posts surrounded the archery range as the love birds paid their way in and rented a pair of bows before walking up to the ring. Winnie scrunched her nose as they passed another couple who absolutely reeked of booze. She'd noticed them arrive in some huge camo SUV with deer antlers mounted to the hood and an obnoxiously loud radio playing.
The archery targets were set up past the fence, all set up in a horizontal line and each one was moved further back than the one that came before. Winnie struggled to hold her bow correctly, grunting in frustration as the arrow would slide out of place.
“My sweet, let me help you.” Astarion said, carefully adjusting Winnie’s hands. She took a deep breath before pulling the around back and shooting it. It fell right onto the ground almost immediately after being shot.
“Ah! I suck at this!” Winnie huffed.
“Well, you're still much better at it than Gale.” Astarion smiled a bit.
“...Thanks….” Winnie said, not sure if being better than Gale was really that great a compliment.
“Try again, love.” Astarion said before moving to help Winnie. He stood close behind her, chest against her back as he positioned her hands, this time guiding them to pull back the bowstring. He had her pull it back as far as it would go before releasing it. The arrow shot across the range and hit the side of one of the targets.
“Whoa!” Winnie smiled, “I actually hit it!” Astarion adjusted her hands once again and helped her notch another arrow, this time hitting closer to the center of the target.
“Okay! Okay! I'm going to try by myself this time!” She cheered. The elf watched her fondly. He found her giddiness positively adorable.
She pulled back the arrow before letting it go and it went about five feet before falling to the ground.
“Oh goddamnit!” Winnie swore, attracting the attention of onlookers.
“You did better this time, darling. But perhaps you should take a break, hm?” Astarion suggested and patted her shoulder.
“Yeah .... I guess so .... How about you shoot some?” Winnie asked.
“I suppose I could.” Astarion hummed before planting a kiss on Winnie’s cheek. “But don't get upset when I upstage you.”
“No, by all means! Don't be afraid to show off!” Winnie smiled at him. Astarion smirked before taking the bow and notching an arrow. He pulled it all the way before letting it go and immediately hitting a bullseye on his first try.
A make-up-caked woman with short red hair and ruby red lipstick looked over from where she stood next to a tall beefy man in a leather vest, her eyes wide with amazement.
Winnie clapped, a grin forming on her lips.
“Keep going Star! That was awesome!” She cheered.
Astarion shot another arrow at the next target immediately hitting another bullseye. Most of the targets he'd been used to usually moved so this was honestly way too easy. Winnie followed Astarion as he hit the targets one after another each with a flawless technique.
And he even shot one backwards.
Okay I said you could show off, but this is a little much….
“Astarion-” Winnie began before suddenly the red headed lady marched over and pushed her out of the way.
“That was amazing! Where did you learn how to do that?” She asked, eyes leering over Astarion now that the woman was able to get a better look at him.
“It’s all instinct really.” The elf replied with a smug, confident look. He appeared to be eating up the praise.
“It's very impressive. You must be very strong.~” She purred, moving to stand closer before placing a hand on his arm, feeling it up. Astarion grimaced and looked at the woman with a flash of disgust. Winnie glared over at the woman with annoyance.
Seriously? This is the second time some floozy thinks it's okay to invade Star’s personal space!
“Look lady, he doesn't like people being all touch-” Winnie was about to try to run the woman off before suddenly the man she'd previously been with stomped over towards the three.
“HEY! Get the hell away from MY wife!” He snapped.
“Apologies, it seems your lady has had a little too much to drink.” Astarion said, removing the woman's hand from his shoulder as if she was carrying some kind of disease.
“Are you saying she's not good enough for you!? What are you gay!?” The man pushed through, he reeked of alcohol just as much as his wife did it seemed. Winnie furrowed her brows at the man's ridiculousness. He clearly just wanted any reason to fight. Astarion seemed a bit confused at his question.
“Not at the moment. Nothing really to be cheerful about currently.”
“You being smart with me, pretty boy?!” The man shouted. Astarion was trying to remain civil for Winnie’s sake but the bastard was really trying his patience. Astarion wasn't permitted to have a knife, Winnie made sure of it but the vampire spawn claws he'd grown while here definitely weren't for looks. Wouldn't be too hard to poke a hole in this cunt’s windpipe if he was quick.
“No. Not at all.” Astarion replied, “I was simply answering your question.” Astarion had a fake smile on his face, but Winnie could see the irritation in his eyes. If this didn't resolve itself quickly someone was going to get hurt.
“You think you're real funny don't you, you fucking faggot!?” The man snarled.
“You know I've been called a lot of things, but that…I've never heard of. Probably not a very intelligent insult by any means.” Astarion chuckled a bit, his smile turning more sinister. Fingers clenched as his claws prepared to strike. The bigoted drunkard seemed about ready to blow his top and start throwing punches. The floozy wife just seemed to be giggling and enjoying the chaos, not even caring if someone got hurt. Winnie had to act fast before this turned to bloodshed. Before anyone could say another word she grabbed her bow and an arrow before desperately aiming towards the parking lot. She pulled it as far as it would go, almost instinctively remembering how Astarion showed her earlier.
The arrow flew across the range and hit the drunk couple’s SUV right in the headlights, almost immediately sounding the car alarm.
“What?” The bigoted man tore his head away from Astarion before suddenly his wife shouted.
“Fuck! That's our car!” She took off running.
“Goddamn it! Who's breaking into my baby!” The man yelled before running off.
“Well, that was rather convenient.” Astarion said before Winnie grabbed his arm.
“This was fun, but it's time to go!” Winnie said before dragging him off and abandoning the bows they'd rented at the range. It took a moment for Astarion to realize that Winnie had been the one to cause a distraction.
“This was your doing? You sneaky little devil! I'm so proud, my love!”
“Yeah yeah whatever now let's get out of here before we get arrested!” Winnie pressed, dragging the giggling elf with her back to her motorcycle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I hate that some assholes had to ruin our Valentine's Day. God, I swear nothing good ever comes from this holiday.” Winnie huffed as she sat down on a blanket. Her and Astarion had made a little picnic on a hill out in the woods not too far from Winnie’s home. Winnie had gotten the idea of trying to head somewhere more private when she'd stopped at a rest stop on their way after the fiasco at the archery range.
“I wouldn't say that. You and I still get to spend plenty of alone time together.” Astarion said and scooted closer towards her. Winnie looked up at the sky.
“I suppose you're right about that. Brian and mom won't be back for a couple of days…” Winnie scooted a bit closer towards Astarion and leaned against him.
“I…Uh…I have something for you…. Winnie…” Astarion looked off to the side before taking something out of his pocket.
It was a small box of heart shaped chocolates.
“I'd still much rather sink my teeth into a different heart, but I'd imagine you'd prefer this.”
“Astarion…This is so sweet….Thank you….” Winnie took the box and nibbles on one of the chocolates, a smile stretched across her face from ear to ear. Astarion simply snuggled against her, planting a kiss on her forehead.
“When did you even buy ... .? Wait a moment…You stole these didn't you?”
“Ah….I may have done that….Yes…ah ha ha…”
Winnie let out a long sigh.
“What am I going to do with you?” She rolled her eyes before wrapping her arms around his neck and leaned in, nuzzling her nose against his. Astarion smiled and nuzzled back, the two pressing their foreheads together.
“Just hold me…” He whispered.
The two love birds were completely unaware as a figure watched them from far away. The figure was slender and corpse-like.
“Thou doth not know what thy actions will bring. It is only a matter of time.” The figure's echo of a voice rang out.
End.
Taglist: @astarioffsimpmain, @iamsexytrash, @tiedyedghoulette, @hp-art-studio , @gaymistakeboi , @the-disaster-in-waiting, @misscrissfemmefatale, @divineknightmare, @marcynomercy, @gianchan-de, @tinyfreakgirl, @jaksfanficsaver, @im-just-a-simp-le-whore, @dajeong
IDK, but Tumblr would not let me tag some of y'all, but I will notify you when the next parts come out!
#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion ancunin#astarion bg3#astarion my beloved#astarion x reader#bg3 tav#astarion romance#astarion#astarion x oc#Astarion x Chubby mc#astarion x chubby reader#Astarion x Chubby oc#astarion x female oc#isekaied into the real world fic#This Bites#Valentine's Day special
83 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have been sitting on these for a long time because I wanted to have some more varried stuff but I haven't had time to write anything! So here's what I've got! Honestly these are some of my favorites
[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6]
- Whenever he's kicked out of an area or event, Oswald proceeds to start shoving anything not taped down into his pockets. He doesn't need the stuff, he just likes to be petty and ruin it for everyone else
- Bane has done a series of infomercials for various products & services that only air on late night product channels. Alfred is the only batfamily member who knows, he was doing laundry late one night and nearly lost it
- Mr Freeze writes restaurants/companies when they wrong him. Like nice formal letters, signing them and everything
- The Joker has an imdb page. Actually a lot of the villains do but like the Joker has one he updates with fun facts. Who says they're accurate but they sure are fun
- Riddler freaking hates puppets. Their soulless eyes say it all. He refuses to or "work" with puppets. That being said, Scarecrow has chased him around with Scarface once or twice "for science"
- Scarecrow has and still does write letters of recommendation for his ex students. He freaking still has Gotham University letterhead paper and everything. Honestly some of his students have gotten the job from his letter alone (maybe it's out of fear but like it's still a win), and they 100% send Jonathan thank you gifts in Arkham. He's got one of those dorky teacher scrapbooks where he keeps the thank you letters. One of his students even crocheted him a little plush scarecrow. It's like, they don't love his crimes but you know that was ol kooky professor Crane for ya
- Harvey kind of has a soft spot for sitcoms, he used to watch them with his mom growing up. One of their favorites, ironically, was night court
- Bane has a famous chili recipe and he makes one batch a year. It's fucking delicious! He makes an edition with meat and a vegetarian version too. Of course consults Ivy for home grown excellent quality vegetables and she gets first dibs in return
- the Joker has not one but TWO released albums. One is essentially a mash up of all the serenades he's made Batman listen to over the years and the other one is called "The Holidays with the Joker: Christmas selects edition"
- Scarecrow's car is a mess. He's got a work truck of course but his main car is like a wood panel sedan that he's been driving since he was a professor and refuses to get a new one. It's a fucking mess, he has like clothes, papers, garbage all over the place. He still has term papers he forgot to grade under the seats. Riddler HATES his car, with a passion
- Riddler has gone through the pain and suffering to teach all the rogues how to use discord, he had once hoped it would make their crimes more efficient. They have a group chat but it's mostly suffering on his end as all chaos ensues
- Scarecrow owns a Halloween train village he has set up in one of his lairs. It plays instrumental versions of Halloween songs as it goes around the track
- Joker will push open cups off of tables because he can. He's got the chaotic energy of a cat awake at 3 am
- Riddler and Scarecrow's friendship starts like super formal and co worker like but after like a year and a half, evolves into a weird symbiosis. Jonathan points at random ass objects or books and goes "you" when he's with Edward. Eddie has a habit of fixing or picking debris of Jonathan, usually when they're crimeing. Also one time, they were both startled so bad by Batman that Scarecrow jumped into riddler's arms like Scooby & shaggy, except they both held onto each other for a second before toppling over. Robin then unmasked them like scooby doo
- Harley & Ivy are frequent Panera customers and often get pick up orders there under "codenames" given by Harley. All the workers know who "Plantmamma" and "the quinnanator" are but like they tip great and everyone should get to enjoy soup
- Bane has one CD in his car, it's a 2010 greatest hits CD that someone accidentally left in there. Who you ask? He has no idea
- Harley has a getaway playlist preloaded in her phone for car chases
- Riddler and Scarecrow watch reality tv/game shows together. They binged all of survivor and the amazing race in a year. It was a joke at first but they both got really into the shows. They have both applied to be on amazing race together and unfortunately haven't been called back
- Joker still uses cassettes (and vinyls probably) except he mixes them himself and labels them all stupid titles like "Birthday bash #9", "Baty's mix", "what's the deal with airplane food?", "etc". But he also has a tape recorder and makes notes to himself and labels those ones too, so he gets his personal notes mixed up with his music jams all the time. He goes to put on some epic clown music and instead it's a twenty minute recording he made of himself eating fruit loops
#dc#silly rogues headcanons#edward nygma#riddler#the penguin#oswald cobblepot#bane#two face#harvey dent#the joker#poison ivy#pamela isley#scarecrow#jonathan crane#look i will defend cool teacher scarecrow until the day i die#he was a rad dude except for like the extreme fear stuff#harley quinn#harleen quinn#scriddler#it's implied a little because they're kinda married
113 notes
·
View notes
Text
Since I've been on it I wanna talk about Hal's parents. Cause I've seen some dislike for Geoff Johns take on them. But they didn't really, Jessica especially, exist before then. I feel like some people read the comic where Hal in hysterical grief over Coast City made a construct of his parents and then went off to kill all the Lanterns and Guardians and said yep that is exactly how his parents were.
But let's get into it. Martin and Jessica Jordan. For further context, the sibling order is Jack, Hal, Jim Jordan. Three boys. And it was sort of implied for years that they were Jewish and got confirmed not too long ago that Jessica is Jewish and Martin is Catholic. Hal was a grown man in the 80s. His childhood took place in the 50/60s. And before that he was a grown man in the 60s meaning his childhood was the 40s/50s. That absolutely influenced the type of life he had. Vs the further in time we drag this out the less natural it becomes to have super strict parents.
So to begin the first physical appearance of Martin Jordan comes in 1989 in Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn #1. This is a post crisis pre zero hour story so any events in this particular time window are wildly subject to change
Martin is a test flight pilot. He's Hal's hero. His plane goes down. Hal watches. This sequence of events stays consistent across every time line including Flashpoint which is you know fascinating.
"Hal got fired today-- and he got his mom to call up and beg for him."
"Talk about my father again Biff and I'll rip your lungs out."
In this version of events, we get a mention of Jessica. She's not named and doesn't appear. So you can tell she was brought up purely for a 'Hal is so irresponsible he needs his mommy's help' bit. Hal and Jack get along though and are violently defensive of their father. Hal also catches a drunk driving charge after this.
Speaking of drunk I know there's a comic out there where Martin is described as a drunk which I could not for the life of me dig up again but that's mentioned all of once so I just ignore it. What's with making test pilots drunks???
Anyways Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn is definitely not my favorite Hal Jordan story and I'm glad it's been mostly retconned out minus the very beginning parts with Martin.
(Green Lantern vol 3 #36)
"So you're back to flying planes, huh?"
"Dad's blood still runs through my veins, I guess."
This Christmas special in 1993 took place before Coast City exploded. Hal took Carol out to Jack's house to spend the holiday with the Jordan family. Hal directly attributes flying to his dad's influence.
Now Green Lantern vol 3 #48. Hal is standing in the ruins of Coast City not a soul left and he conjures an image of his parents. Reminder they are entirely Hal's imagination and again he is just about hysterical right now.
"I looked up to you. I worshipped the ground you walked on, or flew over. I wanted to grow up and be you... which probably has a lot to do with who I am now. Growing up, though, I never felt like you... I don't know thought that much of me."
As we saw Hal's dad died when he was Maybe ten. His little brother and older brother didn't have real accomplishments in elementary school. Jack the DA and Jim helping the campaign and having a family that's all modern. Stuff Martin would have never known about. Martin the pilot getting on Hal's case for having his head in the clouds? Really seems like Hal is the one he could have related to the most. Martin getting on Hal about not saving the city just proves Hal is projecting his worries about disappointing his dad onto his dad and then because he's so hysterical with grief forces himself to rewatch his dad dying.
Absolutely completely irrational state of mind he's in right now. At the end of this issue, he's going to fly off into space to kill all the Lanterns and the Guardians.
And then he summons Jessica. Calling her mother instead of mom is just really funny to me like informal with his strict dad formal with his chill mom. Lmao? Jessica only speaks on Martin. Reminding Hal of the good times they had. She's Hal's memory which which means Hal heard the story of dressing up as Santa he remembers his dad's aftershave. Summoning your mom just to talk about your dad is crazy work btw
Again Hal was so young when his dad died. Not a teenager not even close. What was Martin disappointed about? Maybe Hal who can't keep a job a girl or half his friends (Barry died and all super friends ditched him basically) is projecting backwards into time. And assumes his Dad would be disappointed in him.
"Personal gain? This is about personal loss!"
Personal loss and Hal's spent most of his time summoning his long dead father. He really never got over Martin dying and that's so apparent. Anyways this is where Hal decides to go into space and kill everybody. Seeing his dad taken from him one more time made him snap.
Hal is enamored with his father. Whether their relationship was tough or easy it wasn't necessarily the point. The point is Hal Jordan loves his father to Oa and back more than the rest of his family probably understood. He didn't just want to impress his father he wants to be him.
And Zero Hour royally fucked up Hal's family but like idk let's just say Infinite Crisis fixed it. That's two reality shattering events. Why not give Hal a little treat of being his dad's favorite. No one seems to miss when Jack, Jim, and Hal all went to the same college and the same fraternity and were besties
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
I forgot to ask. 14, 63, 49, 50, 43, 38.
Oh gosh let's see...
14) favorite "controversial" horror film
Maniac. Yes yes, it's horribly violent and grimy and it makes you feel like you want to have a shower once it's done, that's the point and it makes it extremely well, but also it has a super incredible Tom Savini head explosion, and I'm such a slut for that. Kinda like Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer without any wildly inaccurate "true story" claims, so it gets to go way way over the top with it!
63) favorite 70s horror film
Deep Red! It's a murder mystery, it's inexplicably supernatural, it's having an interesting conversation about gender with itself, it's full of creative kills and bright strawberry red fake blood, it's legitimately creepy, it's brilliantly shot... I could go on, I love that movie.
49) favorite horror film score/soundtrack
Candyman. That score gives me chills, and I think it perfectly highlights the dark romantic themes of the movie. Philip Glass really looked at this script and said "Ohh I get it, he's a Dracula" and he was SO RIGHT.
Second place definitely goes to Suspiria though, that one also has an incredible score, and I will occasionally just sit and listen to it.
50) favorite horror film that takes place during your favorite season/time of year/holiday
Ginger Snaps! I don't know how it isn't more acknowledged as a halloween movie, that's the whole reason she gets away with being a wolf at the end! The climax happens at a halloween party!
Also, unrelated, this movie has one of my favorite Horror Movie Moms I've ever seen, I think she's so funny and she steals every scene she's in.
43) favorite black and white horror film
Ok, I'm torn here between The Invisible Man, and The Bad Seed.
On the one hand, The Invisible Man is a pre-code technical marvel with groundbreaking hand-done painstaking effects that still hold up to this day, and it's high-camp and hilarious. Jack Griffon is a chaotic bastardous gremlin of a man and I love him so much.
On the other hand, The Bad Seed is a very fun example of an early stage-to-film adaptation in a post-code era that, upon conforming to film standards of the time, becomes even more high-camp and hilarious than the original production. Rhoda Penmark is a manipulative conniving murderous genius nine-year-old and I love her so much.
Also. Oh my god. If you haven't seen The Bad Seed. The hays code dictated that you had to kill your villain in the end, no matter what, and you will never in a million years guess how they do it here.
38) favorite horror film that you physically own
Phone. It's a Korean film from 2002 and it freaks me oooooooout!! It's about a journalist who has to go into hiding after she writes a reputation-ruining piece about a sex scandal, and the guy involved starts sending threatening phonecalls. And she just. happens to hide out in the worst possible place for this.
I saw it on xfinity's horror channel way back in the day, and once I started growing my dvd collection as an adult, I sought it out specifically.
Thanks so much for the ask! This was fun!
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Trick or Treat
For: @angstchaos for the @topguntrickortreat fic exchange.
This was such fun & I hope you enjoy it. A03 link; TG/M Masterlist
The first year after Nick was hard for all holidays, but Mav made sure to put extra effort into them for Bradley since he was at home teaching at TOPGUN. He knew the kid might not remember them since he was still so young, but still he tried. Two years after Nick though, it came easier. Bradley was so excited any time he got to see his Uncle Mav, but he especially loved the holidays and all the effort Mav put into them.
Halloween had to be his favorite though. Uncle Mav would help him with his costume, and Bradley was even able to convince Uncle Mav to dress up with him. His mom always tried to get Mav out of it, but when Bradley turned those big puppy dog eyes on him, Mav was a goner. He could never tell the kid no, and Bradley knew it.
This year, though, it was supposed to rain on Halloween which was rare. They were saying it could even storm. Carole was trying hard not to ruin Bradley's enthusiasm over Halloween, but trick or treating or any Halloween activity for that matter appeared as if it wasn't going to happen. She knew she'd have one upset little boy at that. Mav was due back into town the week before Halloween, and she knew once he arrived and saw the weather, he'd be just as disappointed as her son.
"Mama is Uncle Mav here yet?" Bradley asked her for the hundredth time, even though he'd only been home from school a short time, on Monday before Halloween.
"Is he standing here?" she teases.
Bradley shakes his head with a pout. "Don't worry little bird. He'll be here. Uncle Mav never breaks promises."
"I know," Bradley sighed before he went back to the window to wait and watch. He already had his costume idea ready to present to Uncle Mav, and he just knew his uncle was going to love it. It was another hour before the roar of a motorcycle could be heard rolling into the driveway. Bradley raced from his room to the front door, barely stopping before crashing through it. Carole just shook her head with a laugh.
Bradley jumped at Mav as soon as he started opening the door. "Woah!" Mav laughed dropping his bag as he caught his godson. "Someone has grown a foot since I saw him last!"
"You haven't grown any," Bradley teases.
Mav pretends to be offended before he starts a tickle attack on the six year old. Bradley shrieks and giggles in between trying to beg Mav to stop. "Take it back," Mav threatens with more tickles until Bradley relents. Mav pulls him back up right and Bradley hugs him tight. "I missed you too kiddo," Mav whispers. He finally makes it all the way into the house to greet Carole, Bradley staying in his arms.
Once Mav gets settled, Bradley brings up Halloween. "I already know what my costume is going to be."
"Tell me," Mav smiles.
"I gonna be an ava'tor like you Uncle Mav."
Mav sees Carole freeze, and he knows he'll have to come back to that later, but he gives Bradley a full smile. "Oh yea? We'll have to go find you a mini flight suit."
"And jacket!"
"Jacket?"
"Yea. Like the one you wear. I want one with all the patches too!"
Mav chuckles as he ruffles Bradley's hair. "Ok Baby Goose. We'll see what we can do."
"Bradley you know we've talked about the weather. You know you might not get to go," Carole warns from her spot on the couch.
Bradley turns his eyes to Mav. "We can still go if it's raining, right Uncle Mav?"
"We'll just have to see Baby Goose." Mav ruffles his hair and tries not to let Bradley's pout go to his heart. "But!" Bradley perks up at that, making Mav smile once more. "I promise it'll still be a really fun Halloween."
"Promise?"
"Always!"
Bradley's smile returns once more and he tells Mav all the things he's planned out for them to do while Mav is in town for the week, not realizing Mav's keeping a surprise from him.
Leading up to Halloween is sunny and hot, so the boys stay out a lot. They get supplies for his costume, managing to find a flight suit and a leather jacket, much to Bradley's delight. Mav gets some extra patches from base and Viper, who is more than happy to see Bradley when Mav takes him to visit. Once they have his costume together, they find corn mazes and fall activities to keep them busy during the afternoon after school, and at night before bed they watch Halloween movies until Bradley falls asleep.
"Mav, you know if it's raining you can't take him out. Houses won't be passing out candy or anything," Carole reminds two nights before Halloween.
"I know. Don't worry Carole. I've got a plan," Mav reassures.
She just gives him a skeptical look and shakes her head. "We should talk about his costume too."
"What about it?" Mav asks puzzled.
"Pete," she sighs putting down the blanket she'd been knitting. "Bradley cannot become an aviator. I don't want him in the Navy. Ever."
"Carole he's just a kid. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Besides it's Halloween. It's just a costume."
"I mean it Pete. Don't ever forget it either. Bradley is not going to be in the Navy. He looks up to you so much, and he wants to be just like you. You can't let that happen."
Mav concedes to keep the peace, but he's worried about her.
The next day, is cloudy and dreary and they spend all day in the house. Mav and Bradley spread decorations from one end of the house to the other. It honestly looks like Halloween threw up in there, but Carole doesn't have the heart to ruin their fun. Mav helps Bradley make Halloween themed cookies later that night after supper and before bed he lets him in on a little secret.
"I've got a surprise for you tomorrow buddy."
"A surprise?" Mav chuckles at how much Bradley perks up, even as Mav tucks him into bed.
"Yep. A surprise. Should be here when you wake up in the morning ok?"
"I'm going to sleep right now Uncle Mav I promise." He slams his eyes shut and Mav chuckles once more.
"Sweet dreams Baby Goose," Mav whispers as he places a soft kiss on Bradley's forehead. He tucks the covers around him and switches on his nightlight before he heads out.
Carole is in the kitchen cleaning up and Mav joins her. "I have a surprise Care."
"What have you done now, Trouble?"
"Nothing bad I promise," he laughs. "The Flyboys get in tonight. Don't worry they've got rooms booked. But they're excited to see you and Bradley and spend Halloween with us."
"Oh wow! Pete! How did you manage this?!"
"Ice did it," he shrugs. "Said they'd love to spend the holidays with us this year."
"Bradley's going to love it." They finish cleaning up for the night and tuck into bed, knowing tomorrow will be wild.
Bradley is up at five am, jumping on Mav's bed. Mav pulls him down beside him, chuckling as Bradley whines at being held down. "Is too early Baby Goose."
"Na uh! You promised a surprise when I woke up!"
Mav tucks Bradley in beside him and brushes the hair off his forehead. "You were supposed to wake up at a normal hour kiddo. Not early. Your surprise will be here soon."
Bradley pouts but concedes to lay there with Mav for a little longer. They get up around six and go to make Halloween pancakes and bacon for breakfast. Just as they're finishing the breakfast there is a knock at the door. Bradley turns big eyes to Mav, knowing it's way to early for anyone to be coming to visit his mom.
"Is that my surprise?"
"Let's go find out," Mav laughs, as Bradley races to the door. He at least remembers all the safety talks Carole had given him and waits for Mav to open it.
"I hear there's a little goose around here needing a squad for trick or treating," Ice says when Mav swings the door open. Bradley squeals in delight and throws himself at Ice.
"Uncle Mav you got everybody here?!"
Ice carries Bradley in and the rest of the flyboys follow. "Nope kiddo. That would all be your Uncle Ice."
Bradley hugs Ice tight offering a very quiet thank you in his ear before he gets passed around to the others for hugs. "I thought I heard chaos," Carole smiles as she joins them.
"That's all we ever bring," Wood smiles before Carole gets her own round of hugs.
Once Bradley has made it all the way around the room for attention he reminds Mav he's hungry. Mav chuckles as he makes up plates for everyone, Bradley helping him and dutifully passing them out to all his uncles.
After breakfast, Bradley models his costume, including his mini replica jacket, and the Flyboys all ooohh and ahhh over it, making Bradley beam.
"Are you sure you need that jacket too Baby Goose?" Slider teases.
"Yes! It's just like Uncle Mav's!"
"He's just teasing you kiddo," Mav laughs as he ruffles Bradley's hair.
The rain started mid-morning and by lunch Bradley was pouting. Carole was insisting they couldn't take him trick or treating in the rain because he would get sick, but none of the uncles could stand the pout. "What if we just took him to base?" Mav poses.
"Most of the offices do have candy," Ice agrees.
"I'm sure we could swing by Viper and Jester's as well," Wood throws in.
Between all of them they come up with a solid plan, and Carole just lets them. She's learned there's really no point in trying to dissuade them once they set their minds to something. Plus, they'd do anything to make Bradley happy no matter what anyone says.
Mid-afternoon, they load Bradley into Wolfe's truck and head to base. It's a tight fit but with Carole wanting to stay home out of the rain, they make it work. Once on base, they hit up all the offices they know will have candy for Bradley, and all the officers praise Bradley's replica flight suit. Once they've made their rounds there, they head to Jester's house first.
"Just make sure you don't act like your Uncle Mav," Jester teases Bradley when he sees the kid dressed just like his uncle.
"Promise!" Bradley smiles.
He gets more candy and treats and spoiling at Viper's house. Mike and his wife both doting on the kid, and insisting on a picture of all of them since Bradley had convinced them to wear their flight suits too. Mike had told them of some houses in his neighborhood that were still passing out candy, so after leaving his house, they made a few more stops before Bradley was almost passed out. Slider was currently carrying the kid and he was nodding off.
"Think he had fun anyways?" Mav asked Ice as they were heading back to the truck.
"I think the kid has a blast any time he gets to spend with you Mav. We were just extra bonuses."
"Yea. I hope so."
"What's really going on?"
Mav sighs as he turns to Ice. "You read me too well."
"Job hazard." Mav knows it's more than that, but he doesn't call him on it. Ice raises his eyebrow at Mav to quit stalling.
"I think something's going on with Carole. She hasn't acted like normal this time. And..." He chews on his lip as he remembers their conversation about the costume. "She wasn't happy with B's costume this year. Made sure I knew he would never be in the Navy."
"Sounds like maybe you need to talk to her. We could take Bradley out tomorrow?"
"Yea. I'll run it by her when we get back." With a plan in place, and Bradley passed out on Slider they headed back to the house. The next day Bradley declared it the best Halloween ever because he had all of his favorite people in one place at one time. Mav never was able to work anything out with Carole over her fears of Bradley being in the Navy. They all tried at some point, but her mind was made up.
Bradley never did know that every year he dressed up like his Uncle Mav, Carole became more and more concerned about him following in his uncles' footsteps. It wasn't until the big fight, the years of silence, and the reunion and explanation did he ever understand why Halloween was never Carole's favorite holiday. It was always a reminder of what she'd never be able to stop.
Looking back, Bradley realizes that the Halloween it rained was probably his best Halloween ever, and he hoped one day his uncles would help him make Halloween the best for his kids as well.
#my writing#bradley rooster bradshaw#pete maverick mitchell#Halloween fic#topguntrickortreat2023#top gun trick or treat 2023#fic exchange#top gun fic
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm having bleeding heart empath problems and can't stop feeling guilty. I know it's because of the ingrained people pleasing, but it's messing me up.
My mom is not a people person. She does not like to socialize, she likes to be on her own with my dad and I and that's it. She doesn't like getting together or mingling with people or really spending time with anyone who isn't family because she likes privacy and anonymity.
My boyfriend (24) invited my parents and I over for lunch for Christmas with his parents, brother and two sisters. It's my first boyfriend (I'm 29) and our first Christmas together.
I'm wishing that I told him a little white lie that my parents and I were spending the day with my grandparents, but I didn't think of that until it was too late.
My mom made a lot of food, bought gift cards for his 3 siblings and filled out Christmas cards. She didn't want to and she's stressed, exhausted and unhappy that we're doing this because it's not the Christmas she wanted to have. She was looking forward to and hoping it would just be the 3 of us just chilling on the couch watching movies. That's what she likes to do with her time.
But because I have a boyfriend now, plans had to change and her Christmas is ruined. Because I'm so compassionate, sympathetic and empathetic, I can't be excited for myself when I should be because I changed her plans and I feel guilty that she's going through all of this work to be on good terms with his family and be "nice" and show them that we're nice people. She says she likes his family... but I know she doesn't really want to socialize with them, if she had it her way.
She thinks my boyfriend is "too controlling" for suggesting we all get together. I just think he's sweet and eager to spend time with me, but... what do I know?
I'm in a funk now and I'm feeling moody, sad and wrong. Is this normal? I don't know how to feel.I wonder if my mom thinks I'm wasting my time, or that I could do better even though she says she "loves my boyfriend to death". He's goth, he vapes and curses and she doesn't like that, but... he treats me well, makes an effort, takes me on dates, buys me gifts, texts me good morning every morning, makes sure I've eaten enough, surprises me, watches my favorite movies with me, remembers the little things, tells me how much he loves me (and insists he loves me more!), asks me how my day is going and fills me in on his. He's protective of me and looks out for me when I'm not paying attention, it's almost like our thoughts are telepathic because there's chemistry and we're a good match emotionally. He accepts me and pays attention to my emotional needs, he can tell whenever I'm not okay just by looking at me, even when I'm just sitting there putting on a blank face like a mask and lost in my thoughts without saying a word and he'll ask me about it later because he's so "in tune" with me. He's cultured, smart, artistic, can cook and build things, athletic, has skills. He's the most romantic guy I've ever had the pleasure of knowing and experiencing that's not a fictional character.
And yet, because I was raised to respect my parents and family, I care about what she thinks and sometimes I get unspoken "vibes" that she's annoyed with how much we spend together, even though because of our work schedules he and I only get to see each other twice a week. I know for a fact that she misses me when I go out with him instead of spending time with her after work because we're all so busy all the time and my mom gets to see my dad even less than me. I still try to spend as much time with her as possible on days I'm not with my boyfriend, accompanying her on errands, having movie nights. But I need to know she likes my relationship and she's happy for me in order to feel okay... suddenly it's just hitting me? Is this a trauma thing?
I should be excited about getting to celebrate the holiday with my boyfriend, my favorite person, but instead I feel like one big inconvenience, like a big, chaotic train running right through everyone's plans because it has to be all about me. My dad doesn't like socializing either, like my mom. No wonder they ended up together, they're a perfect match.
My mom did confess, tonight, that she secretly hoped I wouldn't ever meet anybody so she wouldn't have to deal with their family.
That's really gross, but still... this GUILT and almost self doubt is really getting to me, and I know it's irrational and I want everyone to be happy, but I don't want to feel like this. She says she's happy for me and that she loves him, but I can sense a weird unspoken energy and it's messing me up and triggering me.
Am I wrong to feel happy for getting to see my boyfriend today and be with both him and my parents at the same time? Am I wrong to celebrate Christmas with my boyfriend? This is the first relationship I've ever been in, even though I'm 29. It almost feels like my mom wants me all to herself. I hate that I have to choose between him and her and I can't have both because my mom isn't normal. And yet I feel so bad because I want everyone to be happy.
Advice? How can I cast all these intrusive thoughts away and have a good time today and truly enjoy it?
#christmas#toxic family#narcissistic mother#narcissistic parents#toxic parents#toxic mother#dysfunctional family#holidays#mental health#mental illness#neurodivergent#autism#empath#empath problems
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
Any headcanons for Jon-El?
Jon-El my beloved,, I got a lot for him but I'll make it quick ❤🖤
-Actually hates the name "Jon-El" because one, he thinks it's stupid that his superhero name is his real name while his dad gets to be Superman and two, he already had a superhero name picked for his super identity: "Phoenix" to match his fire powers but his dad refused to let him be called anything but "Jon-El" just so the family looked better.
- Since he's the opposite of Jon, Jon-El got into dance instead of sports. And not like TikTok dancing, professional dance and it shows in his fighting style. It's more grateful and smooth compared to his dad's.
- This is implied in canon but since it never was confirmed, I'm calling it a headcanon.
He hated fame, hated being in the spotlight, he never asked for it but his parents pretty much forced it onto him and never asked how he felt about it. He'd cry during limo rides to whatever model photo shoot or talk show appearance his parents shipped him off and then his stylist (who met him there) would get mad at him for ruining his makeup.
And if he looked too bad to fix, they'd make him wear sunglasses and warm him to not take them off.
- Had an emotional breakdown in a dressing room and got a "stop being over dramatic" from the adults around him, no one helped. His mom was worried when she found out but his dad just shrugged it off as "he'll learn to handle stress better and not make a scene."
Wow that's enough angst, here's some lighter hcs that take place in an better world where Jon-El lives with the Kents (because what even was his character "ending" in canon?? actually awful)
- Favorite holiday is Halloween because it reminds him of his home World.
- Changes his name to Jones since Jon already took the name Jonathan Kent in this Kent Family, but Jon and Jordan call him Biz (short for Bizarro of course). And call him their Jones Brother.
- After all the shit he was put through by people, he's no longer wants to be around anyone besides the Kents and is very much an animal person because of it. He misses the family cat Krypto.
- Despite hating his celebrity image, he liked having his makeup done and doesn't feel right without it so ends up asking Lois for help since his stylist/makeup artist used to do it for him and he doesn't know how. Those are their mother-bizarro son moments.
- Talks backwards at random since he's went 15 years talking like: "Uoy era woh, yeh?" and it's not easy to stop doing. Also has a backwards heartbeat (that might be canon though? I don't remember) and writes words backwards, that he doesn't know how to correct for the "forwards" earth.
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Family Matters | Chapter 4: Saying Sorry is a Virtue
Hello my beautiful souls!!
I hope this of you who celebrate Christmas had and amazing time, and those if you who don't had a great Friday!
I had a really chill holiday, and although I was supposed to be home and that didn't happen, I'm still glad I had a good time. I got a watch for Christmas and I'm obsessed!!
Anyway, I also wanted to let you guys know I'll be posting the story on Wattpad, and thanks to @meowiemari I also have a cover. I have attached it below! My wattpad user is @criminalminds4days so feel free to follow and read along!
Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. It's one of my favorites. 💙💙
Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!
Word Count: 3.6k
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog
*************************************************
(This gif is not mine)
Chapter 4: Saying Sorry is a Virtue
It had been a little over three months since her absolute wrecking of the family retreat. She had managed to get her mom to get past it, and though she had promised to apologize to the rest of her aunts and uncles, she had not gotten around (well, more like she didn't think it was necessary, they probably had already forgotten, and she did actually mean every word she said).
Her team and she had evaded more danger than possible in the last couple of weeks, and she had a feeling today she would not be returning to her bed to sleep. She also had to figure out what she wanted to get Spencer for his birthday. She was so excited to celebrate with him that she wanted to spill her idea of a surprise birthday party to him, but she needed to remain strong. She just hoped he would like it, and that she could find something to give him. She knew him so much better now and had so many things that he would like, but she wanted this gift to be unique, something that reminded him of her. Not that she wanted him thinking about her all the time because that would be weird, but maybe once in a while?
A knock on her door made her get out of her head. She walked to see Tyler Hemingway standing on the other side.
"Can I come in?"
"Why?"
"I just-" He looked at the floor, nervous. "I was just hoping we could talk."
"We can talk right here, what do you want?"
"I just wanted to say I am sorry, for what happened."
"What exactly? That you humiliated me in front of my family, or that your wife called me and my boyfriend liars."
"All of it, I should have known better."
"Yes, you should have." She debated whether to say something else but decided against it. "I honestly don't understand where this is coming from, it was two years ago."
"I know, and I am also sorry it has taken me so long to say anything. I just didn't know how to approach the situation, and what we had was so special, I wish I hadn't ruined it."
She had waited to hear those words for so long that how wrong what she did, didn't occur to her until the damage had been done. Even if her feelings for the man in front of her were not the same as they were two years ago, those words were enough to make her become less hostile towards him. She let Tyler in, forgetting Spencer was waiting for her to pick him up in about twenty minutes.
"Spencer? Why are you late?"
"Because she didn't pick me up like she was supposed to. I assumed she may be running a little late, so I waited and then I called her, but it went straight to voicemail." He responded to Emily.
"That is so not like her, should we be worried?"
"I don't know, but I already am, maybe we should go see if she's home or something."
The elevator doors opened once again as Spencer and Emily were preparing themselves to raid her house in order to find her. She stepped out, a look of immense guilt present as her eyes landed on the brunette. He did not seem upset, more like relieved she was there. Emily dropped her jacket and embraced her, a huge weight lifting off her shoulders after seeing her. When she was released from the woman's hug, she directed her eyes back to him.
"I am so sorry; I was on my way-" before she could explain Aaron Hotchner told them to join the rest of the team at the round table to discuss the next case.
"This one is a bad one," JJ said as she read through the file. "These people are killing families. Not even the children are spared."
"Yeah, and it's only getting worse." Said Penelope as she shared the pictures of the crime scenes. She wished she could concentrate but Spencer kept glancing at her with worry. He knew something wasn't right, but she didn't know how to explain it without sounding like she was digging herself in a bigger hole.
She avoided him on the jet, as she pretended to be asleep and then engaged in a very interesting conversation with JJ about diapers and toddlers. As much as she loved the blonde, she sometimes didn't appreciate learning all these baby facts, it took the wishes to have children away faster than anything else.
She was now in a black SUV, with Spencer in the back seat and Emily driving. She sat in the front seat as they drove towards the hospital. One of the girls had been spared and they were hoping to talk to her about the unsubs.
"So, why were you late this morning?" Emily questioned, "You left Cinderella over there without his carriage."
"Yeah, I know. I am so sorry Spencer."
"It's okay, I just got worried."
"I know, and I am so sorry." She took a deep breath, preparing to explain to them why she had been delayed. "I just got some unexpected company this morning."
"Was it Anna?"
"No, she has been radio silent for these past couple of months, I'm assuming she is building a bulletproof alibi for when she decides to murder me."
"Is there something I should know about?" Emily asked as she stole glances at her.
"Spencer and I went to my family retreat a couple of months ago and when we were there I may or may not have basically told my aunts and uncles to go fuck themselves."
"You explicitly told them to do so." Spencer clarified.
"Why did you do that?"
"Because they all sucked. Emily if you would have been there, you would have done the same." Spencer responded. "But going back to the main topic, who came to your apartment today? Was it your mom?"
"We need to have a conversation about this whole family retreat thing!" The woman behind the steering wheel complained.
"I will tell you all about it tonight." She assured her. "And no, Spence, it wasn't my mom, it was someone a little closer to Anna."
"Her mom?"
"No, Tyler."
There was no response to that, Spencer looked like he didn't know exactly what he was feeling, while Emily seemed like she had returned to watch her favorite show only to find out she missed a whole season, and she had no idea what happened to the storyline she was following.
"Who's Tyler?"
"Anna's husband." She clarified, "he came to apologize for everything, and to say that he didn't think what Anna did was okay."
Reid scoffed, "and you believe him?"
"He seemed very genuine about it."
"Unbelievable."
"I am so lost right now."
"Spencer, are you upset about this?"
"Me? Why should I? It's not like I pretended to be your boyfriend to prevent him from making you feel any worse than he had already, and you ended up right back at where you started."
"Are you implying I slept with him?"
"I never said that."
"Well then what are you saying? Because need I remind you, he is a married man. I would never do something like that." She crossed her arms, becoming defensive of the situation. "He simply wanted to talk, so I listened. It was a conversation, and it's just going to be a dinner. Nothing more."
"Oh, so you're going on a date with him too?"
"It's not a date! Did I not mention he was married?! To another woman!"
"Being with someone else has never stopped him before."
"What is happening right now?" Emily asked, to no one in particular.
"Seriously Spencer?"
"Did I lie?"
"Why are you so worked up about this? It doesn't even concern you."
"I am upset, because even after he told you in front of all your family that he was in love with your cousin and married her, breaking your heart, he says, 'I'm sorry' and suddenly he's back on the top of your priority list." He spits out, his emotions running high.
"This man did what now?" Both looked at Prentiss as if remembering she was there all along.
"I can't believe you just said that! I confided in you."
"And I trusted you."
"It was one day! I forgot to pick you up one day and suddenly I am the worst person on this planet, really?"
"Are you seriously so oblivious to think this is about some stupid ride?"
"Guys,"
"No? Then what is this about? Is this about me making you look bad or something?"
"No, it's about the fact that after all we've been through and the fact that I have done all I can to help you and be there for you I am still less important than Tyler fucking Hemingway."
"Guys,"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Guys,"
"It doesn't even matter anymore, enjoy your dinner." He undid his seat belt. "Why didn't you tell me we were here Emily?"
"I have been trying."
"Let's go then." He said as he exited the SUV marching up to the hospital entrance.
"What is his problem?" She asked Emily, still heated by the discussion.
"Well,-"
Before Prentiss could respond she was cut off. "I mean, yes, this guy broke my heart but that doesn't mean I have to hold a grudge forever, right? I might as well move past it, don't you think?"
"If you ask me-"
"And it was one conversation, and we're going out to dinner to finish it, there is nothing wrong with that. I don't know why he got so worked up about it, do you?"
"Yeah-"
"You know what, screw Spencer, if he wants to be a jerk for no fucking reason, let him do it. I am not going to lose sleep over it, nor am I gonna give him explanations. Who the hell does he think he is?"
"I think-"
"Yeah, you're right Emily, when Reid decides to get his shit together he can talk to me, in the meantime, we need to find out who these unsubs are before they hurt anyone else." She undid her seatbelt and opened the door, Emily still sitting there, trying to figure out what the heck had just happened. "Aren't you coming?"
"Yeah, sure." She followed suit and they both entered the hospital. Spencer was speaking to the girl's nurse as they approached, he didn't make any comments, but he also didn't acknowledge her, nor invite her into the conversation as he did to Emily. He was acting professional and doing his job, but his stance and emotions were very clear by the lack of interactions between them unless it was absolutely necessary.
As soon as Emily entered the room to interview the victim, the silence that engulfed them made her heart tighten. Spencer and she had gone past this already, they were friends, there was never a silent moment between them, and now all of that seemed to vanish in the air, all because of her decision to let Tyler Hemingway apologize.
She chose to ignore the situation until further notice. Emily was right, Spencer was being a dramatic prick and she was just gonna give him the time to realize that he was wrong. So when she got to bed, grateful for a bit of peace knowing one of the killers had been identified and was going to be caught soon, the last thing she wanted to do was have a conversation with Emily about the topic this same one had told her to not think about.
"I didn't say to just ignore it. As a matter of fact, I didn't get one sentence out during the whole drive to the hospital."
"That can't be true."
"Oh, but it was. Now I know how Reid felt when Gideon left." She fixed her shirt and continued, "well, regardless, what happened between you and Tyler, and what exactly does Dr. Genius know?"
"Spence knows pretty much everything, it kind of came with the territory." She recounted the story and this time she didn't leave any detail out, well, almost didn't leave any detail out.
Emily learned about Anna and their rivalry, Tyler and him choosing her cousin over her, the only thing she never even brought up was her dad. Only Spencer knew about it and she wanted to keep it that way. She finally landed on the weekend in question and the words she had shared with her cousin. Though that wasn't exactly what Prentiss found worrisome.
"You and Reid kissed?! Like on the lips?!" She screamed.
"Yeah, it was just so they would stop bugging us. It's not even the first time we kissed, so why is it a big deal?"
"Wait, you've kissed him before that day?"
"Yeah, at my cousin's wedding."
"Holy shit! I was not expecting that. My OTP is getting all these moments that will eventually lead to the ship sailing and I didn't even know about them!"
"Have you started talking another language by accident or something? I don't understand anything of what you just said."
"Don't worry about it. On a scale of one to ten, how good of a kisser is he?"
"Eleven." She responded immediately, "but that has nothing to do with this whole situation."
"It definitely does! Now it makes sense, Reid thinks you still have feelings for your ex, and he's jealous. He probably doesn't even know it, and he's probably trying to understand why he is so upset with you. Oh my god, he's jealous!"
"Emily, he's not jealous. Spence and I are not dating, we pretended to be a couple." She explained, thinking the woman hadn't understood her.
"Yeah, I know that, but I also know that any fake dating movie or book has always reached a point where the two main characters become unconsciously aware of their feelings. This is it! THIS IS IT!" She shook her and laughed, then suddenly came to a stop. "Oh my god, I am the best friend. I am definitely the friend that gives some wise advice that makes it click in your brain, let me think," she looked around the room as if inspiration would pop out of the bed. "I got it: get your shit together and marry Spencer." She stood and walked out the door, before fully closing it she spoke again, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk some sense into our little genius. Love you, hope I am invited to the wedding!"
Though after the break in the case they had found themselves relieved and on their way back, the nagging feeling she called Emily Prentiss kept insisting that both doctors were actually in love and that all they needed to do was kiss and become a couple. It was so constant that even when she wasn't around she could hear her echo. Like right then when she was trying to brush her hair and mentally prepare herself for whatever this dinner with Tyler was going to bring. Though she and Spencer had not yelled or continued to argue, there was nothing else left of their friendship, at least that's what it seemed like. It was as if the past months were a dream and they were just back to being coworkers, and that feeling was burning her up inside. She did not realize how important he had become in her life until he wasn't a part of it anymore.
"You look great," Tyler said as she entered the restaurant.
"Thanks, Spence helped me pick out this shirt when we went to the mall a couple of weeks ago. He said blue always looked good on me."
"That's great." The man responded, clearly uncomfortable. "So, I know you had to leave for work the other day, but I was hoping now we could talk more about what happened between us."
"Yes, of course."
She didn't really understand how she had gotten to the point of having an actual conversation with the man sitting across from her, because she had been angry at him for so long, that it never occurred to her as a possibility. He had once again apologized and given her a tale of how he had let his emotions guide him without realizing he could hurt others, and while that didn't excuse his actions, she still accepted his apology, choosing instead to move on from their current limbo. They had quickly changed the conversation, like if two old friends had reconnected after so long. Tyler was a great friend when he wanted to be, he was pleasant company, to say the least.
"And the other day, Spence was trying to learn to play the piano, and I told him there was no way he could learn in a week. So what did he do? He-"
"Stop, just stop!" He interrupted her, and she furrowed her eyebrows confused. "I have been sitting here for an hour listening to you talk about your stupid boyfriend and his IQ of 187." He rubbed his hands through his face and tried to calm down. "Was this the plan all along? You heard me tell you that I wished I hadn't ruined our relationship and decided playing with me was perfect revenge? Accepting dinner only to humiliate me by ignoring me and choosing to talk about that Spencer guy? Is he in on it or something?"
Oh. My. God.
Reid was right, this man was not looking to mend old friendships or start a new chapter, he was looking for a mistress.
"You, are the worst type of jerk I have ever met. I actually believed you wanted to be friends, to turn the page but all you wanted was to get in my pants." She stood, grabbing her drink and spilling it over him. "I hope I never see you again. Go fuck yourself Tyler." She walked, but before she exited the restaurant she returned and gave him a fake smile, "and also, Thank you for humiliating me in front of my family, you showed me how little you were and that I could do so much better. Say, an FBI agent with an IQ of 187." Once again she turned and this time she didn't even bother looking back.
The drive to her apartment was long, mostly because she didn't drive there, but to Spencer Reid's home. She felt her palms sweat, she hated admitting she was wrong, but she hated not having Spencer around much more than a bruised ego. She knocked on the door and Spencer opened, he looked confused, but as soon as he registered her in he simply raised an eyebrow and changed his confused demeanor to a completely neutral.
"I came to tell you that you were right. He just wanted to get in pants." There was no response, and she fiddled with her hands. "I actually thought he wanted to apologize, and I think part of me just wanted to believe that for the first time I was not being used, that people actually cared about what I felt."
"There are people that care about you, they are just not the wants you wanted to."
"No, they are! I thought I needed the people who wronged me to fix it, to show me that I was worth the trouble when in reality all I needed was for me to understand that I was. And I just needed a reminder that the people that care about me are the ones that should matter the most." A trace of a smile formed on his lips. "I am so sorry about how I acted, and I am sorry I left you here waiting for me. Spencer Reid, you are my best friend and you come before any other jerk out there. I need you to know that this time in which I didn't have you with me was miserable. I missed you so much I spent the whole dinner with Tyler talking about you."
"You did?" He seemed genuinely surprised.
"Yeah, I did. I missed you, and I hope we never fight again, I don't know what I would do without your friendship."
"I missed you too." She bit her lip, and he smiled. "Wanna come in and watch TV?"
"I would love that."
"That's good to hear, I am trying to get Spence here to watch Dance Moms with me but he refuses, maybe if there is two of us, he'll change his mind." A voice inside his apartment spoke. He opened the door to reveal Emily Prentiss wearing Pjs with The Hunger Games symbols on them. "May I say, you look hot. Blue suits you."
"So I've been told."
"Are you sure you can handle being in that close all night though? Maybe Spencer can lend you one of his shirts." She said, winking at them.
"Has she been drinking?"
"It's her third bottle of wine."
"We need to cut her off."
"Yeah, we do." He smiled at her, "She's right though, if you want to borrow something more comfortable let me know."
"Careful Spencer Reid, I might take you up on that."
"Awwww, YOU TWO ARE ADORABLE!" The woman screamed. "Just get married already!"
The pair laughed and made their way to the sofa, she closed the door behind her and sat down, feeling whole for the first time this week. Emily and Spencer were the best friends a girl could ask for, and she couldn't think of a better way to spend the rest of her night than watching trash TV with the two of them as they laughed and joked.
It was home.
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
north//chapter three
here’s the new chapter!! please enjoy and leave me your feedback! as always, let me know if you want to be on the taglist by sending me an ask :)
genre: fluff, angst if u squint
pairing: season nine spencer reid x female oc
warnings: none
word count: 11.3k
SPENCER
The elevator doors pop open on the sixth floor on a bright, sunny day, and the smile on my face is the biggest it’s ever been and I don’t think there’s any way I’ll be able to wipe it off. This morning, Amelia confessed that she had never seen Doctor Who before, and then she encouraged me to ramble on and on about my favorite parts and favorite characters and she asked questions and my smile never went away, even as we said our goodbyes and through the dirty train ride. But having seen Amelia will make my day better and the walk to my desk seems so much brighter and happier than normal.
"Good morning, Spencer," Alex smiles at me as she passes my desk, setting her bag down and sending me a wave.
"Morning," I return her smile, taking the last sip of the coffee from my cup, the one from my meeting with Amelia, giving it one more longing look before tossing the cup in the trash.
Alex watches me closely as she sheds her jacket and scarf, draping it over her chair. "Weather's rough, right? It's getting really cold,"
I spin in my chair and my eyes trace up to where the wall and the ceiling meet, staring out the windows there. "Yeah, it's pretty rough out there,"
"Christmas is soon though," a smile comes to her face as she sits and takes a breath. "Do you have any plans yet? Do you think you'll go to see your mom?"
I shrug my shoulders and push away the sharp pain in my chest at the mention of my mom and at the mention of such a joyous holiday that’s supposed to be filled with friends and family. But instead, I’ll do the same things I’ve done the last few years- sit by myself at home and reread a book from my shelf. "Not sure yet. Haven't really thought about it,"
Alex hums, not pleased with that answer, and spins her chair around to face her desk. "Okay, well, don't wait too long or else you won't have any plans, and nobody should be left alone on Christmas," I choose not to respond. I just turn my chair back to face my desk and get to work.
"Good morning, wonderful crime fighters!" Garcia exclaims, bounding into the bullpen as Morgan holds the door open for her. Her bubbly attitude brings JJ and Rossi over to my desk area and even though I was trying to avoid any conversation, I spin in my chair to join the circle that forms. "I've brought cookies to lighten the mood that this horrible, horrible cold weather is reigning down on you BAU-tiful people," she grins happily at her recycled pun as she pops the top off the tin in her hand. Everyone, except for me because group food is not and has never been my jam, reaches their hands in and grabs some cookies, mumbling a few thank yous to our dear friend.
"So what's up with everyone?" Morgan asks, glancing around at the team. "We're always together but we don't always get to talk about our lives. So, come on, I know someone's got something,"
There's a moment of silence between the team where everyone wants someone else to speak up first, especially me. I wish I could duck my head down and hide under my desk because I know they will all want to ask me about what’s going on in my life and I'm not ready to tell them yet, and I’m not the best liar. I want to keep Amelia a secret. I want to keep her for myself. But if I try to make myself smaller in any way, then a team of profilers will notice immediately and I'll get called out. It's a lose-lose for me. And maybe it's irrational to want to keep her my secret. Last time I did that, it didn't end well and I’ve never forgiven myself for that. But even still, I want to keep Amelia for myself.
"Well," JJ laughs when nobody speaks up, "Will and I took Henry to the zoo for the first time over the weekend and he absolutely loved it,"
That brings everyone into a conversation and I'm glad I can let my mind wander off to Amelia. She always looks beautiful, but she looked especially stunning today. She wore plaid jeans with a black sweater tucked in, a black knit scarf, and her normal black boots. Of course, she had a black peacoat on to shield her from the weather, and the strap of her camera was slung over her shoulder instead of around her neck. Her hair was up in this messy braided updo that I don't even want to spend time wondering how long it took her to execute. Her nail color changed for the millionth time, now to a pale blue. Her necklace was almost completely hidden behind her scarf but I noticed that she wears the same one every day, a small butterfly. But today, there was just something about her smile and her laugh that made me feel extra warm inside. It made me feel like I wanted to scoop her up and bring her back to my apartment and never let her leave.
"Reid? Hey, Reid!" There's suddenly a hand snapping in front of my face, bringing me out of yet another one of my daydreams.
Everyone has vacated the area and Alex is crouched in front of me, brows furrowed in confusion. I lift my head, blinking a few times to bring myself back to reality. "Sorry, what did you say?"
Alex tilts her head, resting her arms on her legs. "Are you okay? You haven't been yourself lately. You've been a little bit distracted," she sighs and I can tell that she's wondering if she should say something. She ultimately makes a decision in her head to not say it and instead just waits for me to answer. But her holding back her thoughts frustrates me. I thought we were close so why would she hold anything back from me? When has she ever held anything back from me?
"Say what you were gonna say," I insist, sitting up more in my chair. "You were gonna say something. Say it,"
Alex chews on her lips and lets out a long breath, glancing around to make sure that nobody is too close. "Well," she hesitates one more time, "I know that you're still hurting about Maeve and-"
"No," I cut her off before she can even finish her sentence, "it's not about that. It's-" I push my hair out of my face as my breath gets caught in my throat. I take a replenishing breath and shake my head, turning back to the paperwork on my desk, "I'm fine, okay? I promise. Thanks for, uh, looking out for me,"
"Maybe you should consider going to therapy," Alex is clearly not ready to let this conversation go.
"I'm fine," I say yet again, giving her a tight-lipped smile, not even glancing her way again.
I hear Blake sigh and then walk around, seeing her sit down at her desk. There's part of me that feels bad for being so secretive to my closest friends. But I want to keep Amelia for myself. The team likes to know everything and they like to bring up significant others all the time. I don't want Amelia brought up like that. I don't want Morgan teasing me about her, or Garcia insisting on a double date, or JJ wanting to know how we met. But besides, Amelia isn't even my girlfriend. Right now, she's just a girl that I get coffee with before work. I wish she was more, but she's not.
Garcia comes back into the bullpen, holding a hoard of IPads in her arms and one case file for me. "It's case time, my loves!"
There’s a collective sigh that falls over the group as everyone pushes themselves out of their seats and towards the round table room, ready to endure another day of sadness. There’s no good day to get cases but really, there couldn’t be a worse time to get a case. Amelia and I ran out of time this morning and her story about the time her and her best friend got lost in California on a spring break vacation got cut short, and she promised to finish it tomorrow. She also swore that I could tell her all about my time at CalTech and about my favorite classes, all while she lets me fiddle around with whichever camera she happens to bring that day, even though I could possibly break it. I mean, she couldn’t get any more amazing. Technology is not my strong suit, whether it’s a computer or a phone or even a camera, but she’s still going to let me tinker with it. I didn’t think that she could get any better.
After the catastrophe with Maeve, I never thought I'd ever have feelings for another person again. I thought that I'd die alone and loving Maeve. I thought she was my soulmate. I thought that the connection we had was one in a million and that I would never connect with someone on a romantic level again. Seeing her die right in front of me was like no other death I had ever witnessed and nobody, including and especially me, thought I would ever recover from that.
As much as I don't want to admit it and as adamantly as I will deny it, I've been through a lot. Childhood aside, my work at the FBI has been grueling. I've been taken hostage, I've mourned the death of my best friend who actually wound up to be alive and I’ve mourned the death of my unit chiefs wife, I've conquered drug addiction and two relapses alone, I’ve spent months mulling over the death of my girlfriend, and I've seen more death, destruction, and horror than anyone ever should.
It's unfair, really. All I wanted to do with my life and with my career was to help people and do something bigger than myself, but in turn, I've ruined myself. And after everything I've seen and how it has changed me, I’ve been expecting to work myself to death and die alone. I'm a loose cannon and it's obvious. I try to keep myself reined in, but I know that won't last for long. The years that I’ve spent at the FBI have imprinted on my brain and I thought that Maeve would be my refuge, but she was ripped away from me. Then and there, I knew that I would never love again.
But then Amelia waltz's into my life. She comes bouncing in with her black heels, vintage cameras, tea bags, nose piercing, beautiful smile, and melodious laugh. She makes me feel like a normal person. She doesn't treat me like an FBI agent, or like someone who has endured the traumas that I have, and maybe that's because I haven't told her about any of my trauma, but I intend to keep it that way for as long as I can. Amelia comes laughing into my life with her denim skirts that aren't appropriate for the cold weather, curly blonde hair wrapped in patterned scarves or tied back in scrunchies, love for red wine, entrancing blue eyes, and her affinity for strawberries.
It's impossible to not fall in love with her and I hate myself for that. She makes it incredibly easy, so maybe it's not my fault that I can't get her out of my head. Maybe it's not my fault that I look at the empty spot on my desk and wonder what it would be like to have a picture of her there. Maybe it's not my fault that I hold her pinky in mine for far too long when we say our goodbyes. I wish I could blame my feelings all on her. I wish I could blame Amelia for how fast I'm falling for her.
I fall in love with the energy she radiates. I fall in love with the way she speaks of her creative process while painting a new piece or drawing a new picture. I fall in love with the way she claims she has a foolproof formula for finding hidden treasures in any given thrift store. I fall in love with the way she always has a new story to tell yet listens to every word I have to say. She speaks with such passion and fire in her eyes that it draws me in. Amelia has even taken to setting an alarm on her phone to make sure I leave on time for work and every few days, she makes sure to show up before I do so that she can order both of our drinks so that it's not always me ordering for her and "wasting my money on her hot, flavored water."
Amelia and I keep up our morning coffee meetings for two months. We meet as much as we can, only taking the time off when I'm not away on a case. It's actually normalizing my sleep schedule too and I'm getting more sleep than I have in two years- or since Maeve died. When these meetings started, I used to not be able to sleep out of pure excitement of knowing I'd be able to see Amelia again. But then she started to text me the night before, sometimes to remind me to set an alarm so I'm not late or to remind me to bring a magic trick to show her (magic tricks are now common occurrences in the mornings) or to just tell me that she's looking forward to seeing me tomorrow. It’s always an odd sensation to get that third text because most people aren’t usually excited to see me.
The word date never surfaced in any of our conversations. I'm not sure if any of these meetings would be considered a date. Typically, dates happen at night, but these coffee meetings are happening bright and early in the morning. And maybe I'm too scared to even bring up the word date because then that will solidify what we're doing, if we even are doing anything. I'm too scared to admit that I'm falling way too hard and way too fast for Amelia.
But as terrified as I am of the way that I feel about Amelia, I wish so desperately that I wasn’t. I wish I could climb to the roof of my apartment building and scream at the top of my lungs that I’m falling in love and that I want everyone to know. I want to be able to see her outside of the confines of a tiny cafe just a block away from my apartment. I want to be able to see her out on the town, laughing and bouncing on her toes in the adorable way that she does. I want to do anything else in the world with her besides just sitting and drinking tea or coffee. I want to know even more about her. I want to know absolutely everything. I need to know everything.
ONE WEEK LATER
SPENCER
"So you got shot in the knee?"
"Yeah. The doctors told me that I might never walk without a cane again,"
"I'd like to see you with a cane," Amelia snorts, tucking her face behind her cup of tea as she succumbs to a fit of giggles. The sight makes me laugh too, trying to hide my joy behind my cup of coffee. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh. It's just-" she takes a long breath to calm herself, and, with a giant smile, she continues, "an FBI agent with a cane? I can't picture it,"
"Well, I wouldn't be allowed in the field. As much as I thrive in the police departments, I love being in the field. It gives you a rush, you know?"
"Mm, no. I don't know," Amelia laughs, "but I can imagine what you're talking about. An adrenaline rush. I've never caught a bad guy in action like you do. I mean, the closest I've ever come to that is catching one of my siblings stealing cookies late at night,"
A fond memory comes to mind, one involving a dinosaur-shaped cookie jar and a little hand. "I've caught my godson doing the same,"
"So, Spencer," Amelia's voice is lighter as she moves away from the previous topic of me taking a bullet in the field. She shimmies her shoulders just a little bit, then gestures to the Christmas drawings on the window. "Do you have any plans for Christmas next week?"
Oh, the dreaded question. Each of my team members had asked me that during our case last week and I had to lie every single time. I don't want them to feel bad for me when I tell them I don’t have any plans and I’ll be spending Christmas alone. Alex might try to invite me to dinner with her family, and JJ would probably do the same and swear that Henry had been asking about his godfather, but it's just out of pure pity. I don't need any more pity from my team.
"Um," I have to keep my voice from cracking as I drown out myself in a sip of coffee, "no,"
"No?" Amelia repeats, but her face doesn't change at all, not like she’s sad or she’s pitying me. "Me either. I told you, my family's in Texas and I'd only be able to go out there for two days. So as much as I'd love to go, it doesn't really make sense, you know?"
"Yeah, that makes sense. My mom is in Las Vegas so I know what you mean,”
Amelia looks down at her cup of tea, fiddling with the teabag. "You know, if you don't have anything to do on Christmas, maybe we could spend the day together?" She suggests, glancing up at me with a nervous smile. "I was planning on spending the day alone but if you also don't have anything to do, maybe we could do something together," she goes quiet for a moment and I wait, wondering if she's finished with her request. Or maybe it’s just that I’m speechless and I have absolutely nothing to say in response to that request. Yeah, that’s more likely. She, again, looks down at her cup and I can see her fingers shaking slightly as she toys with the teabag. "And besides, I love our little coffee dates but it'd be nice to see you outside of here,"
And there it is. It all comes out with just those few sentences. Not only does Amelia see these meetings as dates, but she wants to see me outside of the cafe. She wants to spend Christmas with me, a day that you usually spend with your family or your closest friends. She was so nervous to ask me about this that her hands are shaking. When has this ever happened? Usually I'm the anxious one. I'm the one here who does the nervous laughing and fumbles over my words and taps my feet and fiddles with my hair. She's usually the one who takes charge of the conversation and laughs louder and initiates our pinky hold when we have to say goodbye. Being anxious is my thing and if Amelia is taking that over, then that must mean that this request took a lot to say.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," she adds quickly before hiding, again, behind a sip of her tea.
I’ve let myself hold back with Amelia for far too long- for two whole months. I’ve gone two months without growing some balls and asking her out and I can’t handle it anymore. I need to see her with a different background behind her other than a tan leather booth. So I don’t give myself a moment to think or stress before I speak. "I'd love to,"
Amelia's eyes dart up to me and her smile starts to grow. "Really?" I nod wordlessly, too scared that I'll say something dumb and ruin it if I open my mouth. "I would've thought you'd say no," The alarm on Amelia's phone goes off, telling us that it's time for me to leave for work. She gives me a sad smile and silences it, chewing on her lip. "Time for you to go. You've got people to save, Dr. Reid,"
The two of us stand and wrap ourselves in our coats and scarves before heading out the door, into the bitter, cold wind. Amelia turns on her heel and holds out her pinky to me. I switch my coffee to my left hand and wrap my right pinky around her, watching her nose start to go pink from the weather surrounding us. Amelia smiles, and the timer in my head starts to run, counting up the seconds we stand in front of each other and just smile. We’re already standing here longer than yesterday but not as long as Tuesday two weeks ago. And the longer we stand here, the pinker Amelia’s nose gets, and the more my heart melts.
"Get warm soon," I tell her softly, worried that if I speak too loud, I’ll ruin the moment.
"You too," she smiles, wrapping her finger even tighter around mine as a way to tell me not to leave just yet. "I know you'll let me know if you have a case. But if you do," she lets out a breath, dropping her smile until her dimples disappear, "get home before Christmas."
///
I inhale deeply and brush my fingers through my hair, trying to make it seem somewhat presentable as I turn the corner to Amelia's apartment, double-checking that I'm at the right one. I smooth down my sweater and check that my converse are tied twice before knocking on the door. I can hear music from inside her apartment but I can't tell exactly what the song is yet, but based on what today is, I can only assume it’s a Christmas song.
I wait patiently for a moment behind a closed door, still second-guessing my slightly more casual outfit of converse, jeans, and a Christmas sweater. And after only a minute I'm convinced that Amelia has backed out and doesn't want me around for this sacred holiday, and I’m almost convince o turn around and leave. Maybe I could walk home and find a bookstore and get some takeout. I'm about to do just that and I’m mentally mapping out the best route home when the door swings open and Amelia stands there with her stunning smile.
"Hi, Spencer!" She exclaims, popping the door all the way open and letting me feel the heat that radiates from the inside. "Come in, please," Relief washes over me as I step inside her warm apartment, my eyes darting around the walls and decor of her home. "You can just put your stuff anywhere. It doesn't really matter to me. Make yourself at home. Be comfortable," I recognize the song now as It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas, playing from her beloved record player that I’ve heard a surprising amount about. She bought it when she first moved to Virginia and it was the first thing she bought for her apartment, before she even bought a bed or food or utensils.
I pull my messenger bag off and set it beside the door, ridding myself of my peacoat and my scarf, hanging them up on the coatrack. Amelia is still standing beside me but before I take the time to admire her like I usually do, I really stop to look at her apartment. It's exactly how I pictured it to be. It reflects her personality perfectly.
The walls are comprised of dark brick and there are different pieces of artwork scattered along the walls of her entire apartment, like stray photographs and polaroids put up with wash tape, or a canvas painting in a frame, and a floral tapestry behind the television. To my left is a huge shelf of books and records followed by a wall full of picture frames with pictures I can only assume are of her family and friends. To the right of the door is a cozy looking living room with a tv and the active record player, and a fireplace with a log already lit. Beside the living room is the kitchen, and across from the kitchen is a set of floating stairs that leads up to what I presume is Amelia's bedroom. In front of the stairs is a door out to a small balcony overlooking the city.
"Hey," Amelia reaches over and pokes my shoulder, laughing, "stop profiling my apartment. I cleaned up for you, there can't be too much for you to judge,"
"Profiling isn't actually judging, per se," I blurt out facts before I can stop myself. "Profiling is actually just noticing behavior,"
Amelia crosses her arms over her chest, etching on a smile. "Sometimes I wonder how your head isn't physically bigger with all that information you've got stored up in there. Really, it keeps me up at night sometimes," she says quickly, and then rolls her eyes at herself. She gestures towards the kitchen, "Well, I've got- oh, Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas,” I echo, following her into her kitchen, trailing just a step behind her.
As she walks in front of me, I get the chance to admire her. Today, she's decided to wear a black and white plaid tweed skirt with a red knit turtleneck tucked into it. Her legs are bare otherwise but she's wearing dark wool socks with a pattern on them, almost identical to the ones I’m wearing. Her hair is down in curls and flowing down to her waistline, but there's a green clip on the left side of her head that's holding back some of her hair. Her face is glowing, like usual, and her nose and ear piercings are in, like usual. It takes me a moment to realize how much smaller she is now that she's not wearing the heels she always has on. I'd peg her at around 5'2" and that's a major difference with me at about 6'1”. But even though I’ve observed countless outfits of hers, she's just as beautiful today as she is every other day.
"So I thought that, since it's only noon, we could make some Christmas cookies," she suggests, showing me her kitchen island full of cookies and bags and ingredients. "I have ingredients for quite a lot of cookies because I meant to make them myself but never got around to it. I have ingredients for gingerbread cookies and sugar cookies and oatmeal cookies and probably way more,"
"Sounds good to me. I like all of those,” The thought of making all those cookies with Amelia sounds much better than sitting and doing nothing. I don’t have time to make cookies like this on my own and I didn’t get to have any of Penelope’s, so making cookies with Amelia sounds like the perfect way to spend Christmas.
Amelia sits down at a barstool and gestures for me to sit beside her, and it’s a weird sensation, for a split second, to be sitting beside her instead of across from her. She reaches for a bag of flour and a bowl, but her hand stops midair when she looks over at me and a smile breaks out on her face. "I like your sweater,"
I glance down at my sweater, just shrugging at my own appearance as if I wasn’t freaking out about it ten minutes ago. "It's just a sweater," It’s one that I’ve had for as long as I can remember and one that could probably pass as ugly, but it has a pattern with snowflakes and stripes and reindeer. I almost didn’t wear it because I thought that maybe Amelia would think it was ugly.
"But Spencer, I always see you in your work clothes. You're always wearing sweater vests and button-ups. You're still wearing jeans and converse but the sweater is a change. I like it, that's all,"
She turns her back to me to grab something else and her compliment makes me chew on the inside of my cheek. I wipe my hands on my pants before I take a deep breath. You can do it, Spencer. You grew enough balls to accept her Christmas invitation. You can do this. "I like your outfit," Oh thank god I managed to say that without sounding like a total idiot.
When Amelia turns back around to set the sugar on the counter, she's blushing. "Thanks,"
I read over the recipes she has printed out and then set them aside, standing up again so I can attempt to start helping her. We decide to start with the Pillsbury sugar cookies since all we have to do is put those in the oven, so we start arranging them on a tray.
"I should warn you," I mumble to Amelia as we bump hips, "I'm not the best baker,"
"It's not too hard," Amelia says nonchalantly. "I'll give you some tips. A smart man like you can pick it up, don't worry, love,"
The simple pet name makes me blush but we're both so preoccupied with putting the frozen cookies on the tray that Amelia doesn't notice. The simple pet name makes my heart beat faster and almost burst out of my chest. Once the cookies are on the tray, she puts them in the oven and then turns to me.
"Okay, which cookies do you wanna make first?" She grabs the recipes and holds them up for me to see as if I hadn’t looked at them before.
"What do you think we should do?" She looks up at me with her big, beautiful eyes, and I almost get lost for a moment, but I pull myself back when she rustles the papers again. "I've never done this before and you seem to have a lot of experience so-"
"You've never made Christmas cookies before?" Amelia gasps, the papers falling onto the table as her jaw drops in disbelief, and I shake my head at her. "Okay, then we're gonna make gingerbread cookies first because they’re a classic. They're my favorite and they're the most fun to decorate so hopefully you’ll like them too. I can't believe you've never done this before!"
She whips around and starts to assemble a new set of ingredients, telling me now and then how much to measure out, even though I've memorized the entire recipe. But nonetheless, I let her take the lead and take the previous cookies out of the oven.
"Okay, come here," Amelia says when my back is turned to her. She has the gingerbread dough rolled out on the island and a few different sized molds laid out, flour caked on her hands. "Getting the dough onto the pan is an art itself," I let out a little laugh, but then she turns her head with a threatening look as if to say I’m serious, that isn't threatening at all. "I'm serious. First, you've gotta use the mold to cut. Then you've gotta wiggle the mold. Then you've gotta get the dough off the counter and that's the hardest part because if you didn't put down enough flour then you’re screwed. It's an art. You laugh, but it's true,"
"I believe you," I put my hands up in surrender, reaching for one of the molds. I stand beside her and it takes me a moment to process how close I actually am, and I only do when I feel her body heat on me. "So, like this?" I push the mold into the dough and then wiggle the plastic back and forth until it's completely separated from the mass of dough, just like she told me to. But then when I lift the mold, the snowflake-shaped piece of dough completely lifts and folds over, ruining the dough. I let out a defeated sigh, looking up at Amelia with a dramatic pout, silently begging for help. "It is an art,"
Amelia giggles, bopping my nose, and I can feel some flour residue getting left there, making me scrunch up my nose. "Yes, it is. I'm glad you've realized, let me help you,"
///
An hour passes and we've finished baking all the gingerbread men, we're baking chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, and we've eaten half of the sugar cookies. We're chatting aimlessly about anything and everything and I'm starting to really actually enjoy this. I’m happy to be seeing Amelia outside of the cafe and I’m happy to be so comfortable with her, and to see her literally and metaphorically let her hair down. I thought I would be riddled with anxiety and would have to make some excuse to go rushing out, but now I don’t think I ever want to go home. I would be content with never leave this artsy apartment and making cookies with Amelia for the rest of my life.
"I'm gonna try to make you but as a gingerbread man," Amelia says as she sits down with a piping bag full of icing and half of the gingerbread men. I've got the other bag of icing in my hand and the other half of the gingerbread men in front of me, waiting to be decorated with far less finesse than Amelia’s cookies.
"You're an artist. You've got an unfair advantage," I pout yet again, starting to make uneven lines and lopsided eyes on my cookies. I grimace at my creations and my pout only grows when I glance over and see that Amelia’s look perfect.
"It's not a competition," Amelia responds, not even looking up from her interpretation of me in gingerbread form. "And remember what I said, everyone sees art differently. There’s no right or wrong in art,” she lets out a small squeal and then throws her piping bag down, leaning closer to me to show me the cookie. “Look! It’s you!”
The gingerbread man has an attempt at curly hair along with a button-up shirt, a tie, slacks, and converse. Honestly, the cookie version of me is pretty cute, but maybe I’m biased because Amelia made it. Amelia is elated at my pleased reaction and goes on to decorating more cookies, so I prop up her creation and keep on going.
I settle into my barstool and keep my eyes down, swinging my feet back and forth. There's a question on the tip of my tongue that I'm too scared to ask. It's been there for weeks. But this question implies follow up questions about me and I don't want to risk that. But I’ve been pondering this question since I met Amelia and I think that I would be willing to risk the follow-up questions if it means I get some sort of answer.
"Amelia," I say quietly, earning a hum in response, "I have a question,"
"Yeah?" She's soft-spoken, clearly focused on her cookies.
"Why don't you talk about your family?"
I look up just in time to see her grip on the piping bag falter, and she has to readjust her hold. But before she can do that, her hand reaches for the butterfly necklace that's forever around her neck and she tugs on it gently. That tells me that the necklace has a connection to her family, I just don't know how. Nope. Stop it right there. She told me when I came in to stop profiling her, even though it was clearly a joke, I shouldn’t start doing it now.
"I, um," she lets out a breath and lets her eyes wander behind me, presumably at the wall of picture frames, "I just don't really like to talk about my family," that's all she says before she goes quiet. She readjusts her grip on the piping bag and goes back to work, deciding the conversation is over. Heat rises to my cheeks and my anxiety increases when I realize that my curiosity has gotten the better of me and I’ve ruined the good thing we have going on here with that simple question. So I just decide to shut my mouth and keep decorating my cookies. "You don't talk about your family either,"
It’s the question I was dreading, but it’s the one I was expecting. So I just shrug my shoulders as nonchalantly as possible. "You're not the only one who doesn't like to talk about their family,"
Amelia doesn't respond to that. It's one of the first times in our two months of knowing each other that I've seen her act shut off. The only time she ever acted out of character was asking if I would come over today, and she was only a little bit nervous for a few minutes. She's always so bubbly and open to any question or topic I have, so to have her sitting as close as ever but feel so far away is frustrating and the need to fill the grave I just dug myself.
"Amelia, I didn't mean to offend you with-"
"No, it's okay," she shakes her head, once again, her fingers adjusting around the piping bag. "It's a common thing that people talk about and I've never brought it up and you're a profiler so naturally, you would bring it up. It's fine, Spencer. I promise,"
"It doesn't seem fine. You're not even looking at me,"
"You're profiling me again," Amelia responds, her voice wavering.
I put my piping bag down and move closer to her, gently taking hers out of her hand and placing it down on the table. "Amelia, I-I didn't mean anything by it. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to,"
She looks up at me and I can see that her eyes are glassy, and it stings to know that I’m the one who made her feel like that. "I’m sorry. I didn't mean to be doing this on Christmas," She sniffles, reaching her fingertips up to wipe at her under-eyes. I have an overwhelming need to comfort her back to happiness, especially since I made her so unhappy. So even though my hands shake in the slightest, I hold my arms out towards her. Amelia notices right away, her eyebrows raising. "Seriously?" I nod. "You won't shake or hold my hand but you'll hug me?"
"You need a hug so I'm here to give you a hug,"
Amelia’s face lights up and she steps forward, wrapping her arms around my waist tightly. I circle my arms around her shoulders and tuck her head under my chin, smiling at the way she fits perfectly under me. This is comfortable and I feel warm and when she wiggles her body to get closer, it brings a smile to my face. I feel safe. I haven't felt like this is a long time. I might never want to let go, but I think Amelia might have the same idea.
"Does this mean I get to hug you more often now?" Amelia mumbles into the fabric of my sweater. "Don't get me wrong, I love our pinky promises but I also love hugs,"
My eyelids flutter closed and I nod against her head. "Yeah, we can hug more often," I flatten my hands on her back and pull her closer. "I really am sorry about asking about your family,"
"Well, I brought yours up afterward so it's fine,"
We're only pulled apart when the timer on the oven dings and lets us know that the oatmeal cookies are finished. I reluctantly pull myself off of her and grab the oven mitts, pulling the tray out while Amelia returns to frosting her gingerbread men.
"Hey, Spencer?" Amelia calls as I'm scooping cookies off the pan. "Do you have any information about gingerbread men in your big genius head?"
She asked, so I answered. I go off and tell her how gingerbread men date back to the 15th Century and how the first documented use of them was at the court of Elizabeth I. I go on for maybe ten minutes about the history of these edible men and maybe it's more than she was bargaining for, but she never interrupted and she listened to the whole thing. That's rare these days. Even my closest friends on my team cut me off constantly and sometimes tune out my facts.
"I didn't know any of that. School really doesn't teach students anything they wanna learn about," Amelia laughs, adding two more gingerbread men to the pile of cookies.
We finish creating our mountain of different types of cookies at around 4 so we decide that we should start making dinner, that way, we can relax the rest of the night and not have to be rushing around the kitchen. The sun starts to set and the snow starts to fall as we set out on a new adventure of cooking dinner. Amelia goes to turn up the heat and I notice her take a moment to pause in front of the balcony doors to stare out at the fresh blanket of snow. But the second she turns and comes back to the kitchen, I whip my head down to the lasagna recipe in my hands to memorize it. Yet again, I decide to let Amelia take charge of this recipe because I would rather not mess it up.
///
We pop our tray of lasagna in the oven and then set a timer for the proper amount of time. "Alright," Amelia says, clapping her hands together and bouncing on her toes, "that'll be done in about twenty-five minutes. So maybe we could watch a movie? We've been baking all day so it'd be a good idea to get off our feet,"
It’s a no brainer to agree to the suggestion and I follow Amelia into her living room like a lost puppy with his tail between his legs. She gestures for me to sit on the couch while she drops to the floor in front of the tv, sitting up on her knees to shut off the record player. Then she pulls out a wicker basket filled to the brim with movies. "What are we watching?"
"I've got plenty of Christmas movies because they're my favorite. I've got ones like," she holds up the case to each movie as she names it, "Polar Express, The Grinch, Home Alone, Elf, Love Actually, A Christmas Story and way, way more. Plus I've got the claymation ones like Year Without a Santa Claus, Rudolph, Jack Frost, Frosty the Snowman, and Santa Claus is Coming to Town," she looks up at me. "So which one do you fancy, love?"
There's that damn pet name again.
"Um," I let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of my neck, "I've actually never seen any of those before so I guess just put on your favorite,"
Amelia's eyes widen. "You've never seen any of these before?" I shake my head with a coy smile, my cheeks turning pink. "Wow, I guess it's my turn to educate you, Spencer. I might never get the opportunity to do this again so I'm going to take advantage while I can,"
Amelia jumps to her feet and pops one of the movies in the DVD player. She doesn't tell me what it is but she grabs the remote and comes to sit next to me on the couch. She's not too close to me but she's close enough to make my hands sweaty. I lean down to unlace my shoes and set them aside before getting myself a bit more comfortable on the couch, but not too comfortable. I’ve overheard far too many arguments between Morgan, JJ, Emily, and Garcia about how sitting too close to girls in moments like these can make a guy seem like, in Garcia’s words, a douchebag. And the last thing I want is for Amelia to think I’m a douchebag. So even though I feel I’m a mile away from her with just a couch cushion between us, I don’t move to close the distance.
"I put on The Polar Express because this is one of my favorite Christmas movies of all time," Amelia explains as the main menu comes up and shows the opening titles. "It's a good intro to Christmas movies, I guess, I don't really know,"
"Sure," I nod enthusiastically. "I like learning, I'm ready to watch. Go ahead, play,"
Amelia presses play and then reaches behind her for the blanket draped over the couch. She folds it over her lap and then glances over at me, holding up the corner of the blanket. "Do you-" she trails off, asking me if I want to share. I nod, scooting just a bit closer so we can both comfortably fit under the blanket. Our thighs are touching and it takes everything in me not to cuddle up even closer to her. She invited me over here so she must not think I’m a douchebag, right? This is okay, right?
The movie starts and it's quite different from the movies I'm used to watching. But I can tell it's a movie that has sentimental value to her so I pay close attention to it. It’s not filled with history or framed with subtitles or spewing information at me to instantly memorize. It’s just a lighthearted children’s movie that celebrates Christmas and teaches kids to not let others judge you and to believe in what you want to believe. I would have never watched a movie like this without Amelia and the longer I sit through the movie, the more I wish it wouldn’t end.
But eventually, I lean down to whisper in her ear. "None of the kids have names. Only Billy does,"
Amelia giggles, her head tilting closer to mine but keeping her eyes locked on the tv. "Yeah, you're right. I'm not sure why, they just don't,"
I hum, looking back up at the tv, not completely satisfied with the answer but willing to accept it. I try to focus back on the movie and figure out why these kids are sliding down tiny conveyor belts but I feel Amelia's eyes on me, locked on the side of my face. My attempts to ignore her gaze go in vain because I'm looking back down at her within another minute. She's looking up at me with her bottom lip between her teeth and her blue eyes widened, eyelashes fluttering. She looks horribly stunning and I fear I let my eyes linger on her lips for too long.
"What?" I whisper, wondering why she's staring at me when she should be watching the movie, a movie she claims is one of her favorites.
"Nothing," she says, but makes no attempt to break eye contact with me. "Nothing, I just-" she trails off yet again.
My hands had been placed at my sides but I can't help it when one of them moves to Amelia's cheek, barely even touching her soft skin at first, too afraid that she would flinch. A part of me is almost surprised when she doesn't pull away, but why do I keep getting surprised by her? She's remarkable. She asked me to spend Christmas with her so I wouldn't be alone. She cares about me in some capacity. She's showing me her favorite movies and baking cookies with me and she cares about me. I care about her and she cares about me. Why am I holding back?
"Can-" I clear my throat nervously, "can I kiss you?"
Amelia's eyes flutter for a moment before she nods, tilting her chin upwards. For a moment I think she's going to initiate the kiss, but then she doesn't. She just waits there, leaving me to feel her warm breath on my face and her cold skin under my fingertips. But she respected my boundaries when it came to handshakes and hugs, so even though I've already asked and she's already accepted, it makes sense that she would respect my inevitable boundaries with something as germy and personal and bacteria-filled as a kiss. So that means I have to finally take charge and I don't even have time to figure out if that terrifies me or excites me.
With my hand on her cheek and my heart about to beat out of my chest, I draw her forward and press my lips to hers in the softest and sweetest, most wonderful kiss. She tastes sweet, like strawberry lip balm and gingerbread, and I find my senses being filled with the taste of her. My brain had intended for a simple kiss, but after said simple kiss, I had to have more of her. Amelia doesn't resist as I deepen the kiss, bringing my hand to her neck to bring her closer. Her hands start at my chest but eventually travel up to my jawline, fingertips resting there softly, just barely coaxing me forward. Our lips move perfectly in sync and I could swear, as cheesy as it sounds, I feel burning on my skin from the fallout of the fireworks that erupt above us. I feel Amelia smile as she shuffles a bit closer to me on her knees, her body making even more contact with mine than before when we were just sitting.
My mind is screaming at me to pull away, to push her off of me and run home and curl up in bed, and to ignore Amelia forever. My head says to shield her from this horrible part of the world that I expose myself to and to protect her innocence. That's all I want to do. I want to protect her. As it often does, my head says no but my heart says yes. I can't deny what I'm feeling for Amelia. I can't deny that I haven't slept over my alarm for two months because I'm far too excited to see her every morning at the cafe. I can't help the way my heart speeds up when she walks in and waves at me, or the way I can't help but beam when she laughs, or how I don't want to leave when the alarm on her phone sounds. That's what leads me to wrap my free arm around her waist and bring her chest to mine, the fabric of her sweater clutched in my fist and my lips fervently sliding against hers.
The sharp cry of the oven alarm is the only thing that can get us to pull apart, far too quickly for either of our likings. Amelia pulls away with a sharp inhale, her eyes closed for just a moment longer than mine. "I'll-" she moves one of the hands from my jaw to wipe at her bottom lip, "um, I'll go get that,"
Amelia begrudgingly untangles herself from my arms and then from the blanket around her legs, feet silent on the floor as she hurries to pull the lasagna out of the oven. I'm left on the couch for a moment, completely stunned and actually quite pleased. I’ve never been kissed like that. I didn’t even know I could kiss like that. I didn’t even know I had it in me. But once the momentary shock wears off, the tension sets in and I know I need to follow Amelia. I reach up to pause the movie so we don’t miss anything before following Amelia into the kitchen, seeing her close the oven as she places the tray of lasagna on the stove. Her cheeks are flushed but I can't tell if that's from the kiss or the heat from the oven.
The apartment is tense now that it's silent and Amelia's back is turned to me. Despite the obvious verbal consent, I fear I've ruined everything. I asked to kiss her and even though she accepted, she's quiet. She's busying herself with dishing lasagna and I'm realizing that the only other time she acted this shut off was when I asked about her family. Does that mean I need to apologize again? Oh my gosh, I really don’t know how girls work. I’ve already upset her twice in one day and made her act in ways I’ve never seen before. Maybe I should have listened more when Morgan complained about his girl problems. You know what? Maybe I won’t apologize this time. I’ll try a different approach.
"That wasn't-" I mumble, lingering in the entryway to the kitchen, "weird, right? That didn't totally ruin things, right?"
Amelia's hands pause mid-air for a moment but then she continues dishing food. "No, it wasn't weird,"
Okay, Spencer. If you've ever needed to be bold, now's the time. She obviously likes you and you've accepted that you like her too and that you don't want to lose her, and right now, you're losing her to whatever her brain is telling her. Don't let that happen. Do something.
"So," I take a step closer to her and place my hand on her waist, spinning her around to face me, "so you wouldn't mind if I kissed you again?"
Amelia doesn't even respond, she just grabs my cheeks and kisses me again. I instinctively push her against the counter and hold her there, my hands clutching her waistline as her hands start to thread through my hair. This kiss is needier than the first one, almost as if it's solidifying to both of us that we're really doing this and that these feelings are actually mutual. That the first kiss didn’t scare either of us off and we’re not going anywhere.
I'm the first to pull away when I run out of breath, but I have not a single intention of moving away from her. I still feel Amelia's lips brushing mine and her warm breath fanning across my face, delicate fingers pushing my hair off my forehead. It's shaggy and falling over my forehead, but she arranges it perfectly so it's out of the way. She smiles nervously at me and then she shrinks, and I realize she had to go on her tiptoes to kiss me. "I, um," she laughs, letting her hands fall to my shoulders, "I've had a crush on you for a while. Like, since we first talked,"
I slide my hands down to her hips, feeling the rough tweed fabric under my fingertips. "Really?"
"Yeah," she smiles bashfully. "I thought you were really cute and I may have walked into you on purpose because I was too scared to approach you when you were reading,"
My eyes nearly pop out of their sockets at the realization that the camera fiddling was just a ruse. "What?" Amelia giggles, ducking her head into my shoulder to hide her blush from showing. "No! No hiding!"
"It's true!" She pulls her hands from my shoulders and covers her face. "You were reading and you were doing it so fast and I was confused at how you were actually retaining the information and you looked so cute with your hair up like that and I wanted to talk to you but I didn't know how to. When you got up, I just walked over and then grabbed my camera and-" I grab her wrists gently and pull her hands away from her face. Amelia's face is bright red in embarrassment but she smiles as I slide my hands into hers and lace our fingers together. "I thought you didn't hold hands,"
"You also thought I didn't hug or kiss until tonight," I remark, bringing our hands down to our sides. I lean in one more time and press our lips together, and this time the kiss doesn't need to be quick or passionate or wet. It's slow and sweet. It fills me with the familiar warmth that only Amelia has been able to provide me with.
"You're just full of surprises," Amelia giggles, twisting her head to kiss my cheek. "We should eat before it gets cold, right?"
"Yeah, probably," I don't want to let go of her but I reluctantly do, letting her continue her task of dishing lasagna for the two of us. We resume our positions on the couch, sitting even closer than before. Amelia rewinds the movie quite a bit, making sure I’ve seen every frame that we missed while we were engaged in other activities. She claims she doesn’t mind seeing it again, that she watched this movie last week anyway so rewinding it for me isn’t a big deal at all.
I do my best to pay attention throughout the rest of the movie like Amelia wants me to do, but it's proven to be a challenge. All I want to do is look down at the angel sitting beside me and kiss her and play with her hair and talk to her about any topic that might pop into my head. But she's fixated on the movie and I don't want to tear her away from something that she's so invested in. So I stay silent and sling my arm over the back of the couch in an attempt to get more comfortable. I do it unintentionally, but Amelia takes this as an invitation to cuddle up beside me. She brings her knees up to her chest and rests her head on my shoulder, effectively tucking herself into my side. I'm not complaining, because even though I wasn’t intending to do the ultimate douchebag move and basically silently invite her to cuddle with me, I’m not complaining. I grin for the rest of the movie.
///
"So did you like it?" Amelia asks eagerly, sitting up on her knees as the credits rolls, an expecting grin plastered on her face. "I know you're used to watching movies in different languages and-"
"It was pretty great, actually,"
"You're not just saying that because I told you it's one of my favorites?"
"Not at all. It bothered me that the children didn't have names, besides Billy, but other than that, it was a wonderful movie. I can see why you like it so much," I tell her. "And it's only seven. Are we gonna watch something else?"
"Well," Amelia chews on her lip, pulling away from my embrace slightly as she plays with the hem of her skirt, "the depends on you. If you wanna head home, I know you have work tomorrow and-"
"Actually," unintentionally, I cut her off yet again. But she looks up at me with bright eyes, hopeful that I'll want to stay, "I don't expect that you got me anything but I brought you a gift,"
I quickly leap up to avoid seeing her reaction, returning to my messenger bag in the doorway, reaching in for the perfectly wrapped gift. I spent hours on the floor of my bedroom wrapping the present, and then unwrapping it when the paper creased, then wrapping it again, then unwrapping it when the paper ripped, and then finally leaving the wrapping after what seemed like the millionth try. It was a process but it was worth it because it looks absolutely perfect.
When I return to the living room, Amelia is gone. I sit down with the gift in my lap, assuming she'll be back soon. And sure enough, she comes bounding down the floating stairs a second later. "I did actually get you a gift," she says, jumping back onto her spot on the couch. "Just something little," I pass my gift off to her and she does the same with me until we're holding each other's presents. It's odd actually, because I've given and received gifts with my team and with my mom, but never like this. Never with a girl I have a massive crush on. Never with someone who I care on another level for. Never with a girl who seems to put the sun in the sky.
I gesture for Amelia to go first, placing her gift in my lap, to be opened next. She gives me an excited smile and nods, obeying my quiet warning to hold it carefully as she searches for a spot to pull the paper back. "They're-" she pulls the paper clean off and beams, "45's,"
"Yeah," I nod anxiously as she reveals my present. "You told me you love records and this bookstore I love sells records too. I found these and I thought of-" I clear my throat, "well, they made me think of you,"
Amelia looks through the small stack of records in her hands, narrowing her eyes at me. "Most of them are classical, Spencer,"
"You need more classical music in your life, Amelia," I sass back at her, earning a small scoff in returning, bringing up a small quarrel we had a few weeks ago. "You can't spend your days listening to Christmas music, Frank Sinatra, and Taylor Swift,"
Amelia glances up at me with a small pout. "I could try,"
I laugh, pointing to the records in her hand. "Well, now you don't have to,"
"Thank you, love. This is wonderful, really. I'm gonna put one of these on right after you open your gift," she places them on her lap and then points at the present in my lap. "Go ahead. It's your turn."
I tear back the wrapping paper and first find a pack of coloring pencils, which seems like an odd gift, considering how many times I’ve established that I’m bad at art, but then I find a black leather journal behind it. Upon further inspection, I find that there are drawings on the front of the journal. My name is written in beautiful calligraphy on the top of the cover, and all around the front are small pictures. I find things like coffee cups, cameras, a deck of cards, an imperfect square with the pattern of one of Amelia's scarves, a record player, beakers, plenty of books, and much more.
"It's a sketchbook," Amelia explains softly. "You were saying how you wish you were better at art, so now you have the means to practice. And I was thinking about when you go on cases and you could bring it with you and I tried to put things on the front that would maybe, I don't know, comfort you." She pauses and I look up at her, waiting for her to continue with what she wants to say. Because just by the tight-lipped smile on her face, I know she wants to say something else. "Selfishly, I put references to me on there,"
I set my gift onto the coffee table and then move the records aside, pulling Amelia into my arms again. She happily accepts this embrace, arms circling my shoulders. "I love it," I tell her. "Thank you. I'll definitely bring it on cases with me. I can't ensure that anything I draw in it is good, but-"
"But you've got a pretty great teacher right here."
///
Amelia watches with an overly dramatic pout as I button up my jacket and put my scarf on, glancing out the window to check out bad the snow is. She crosses her arms over her chest as I put my messenger bag over my shoulder, making me laugh. "Don't make me feel even worse for leaving,"
"If I make you feel really bad, will you stay?" Amelia practically begs, even though she's already reaching for the doorknob. She knows I have work tomorrow and I have to be up early. She opens the door and then leans against the frame, still clearly not ready for me to depart.
"Hey, why don't you sleep in tomorrow? We don't need to meet up tomorrow morning. Get some extra sleep. It's almost midnight,"
Amelia's pout grows. "What? But what if you get a case? Then I won't see you for a few days, at least,"
"Then," I hadn't entirely thought this through because she totally has a point. WWDMD? I know exactly what Derek Morgan would do. Of all the times I’ve thought about Morgan today, I know exactly how he would respond in this situation. I reach out to grab her waist and pull her into a half hug, smiling, "then I'll make it up to you by taking you out on a proper date when I get back,"
Amelia's smile grows and she starts to nod. "That sounds like a plan," she goes up on her toes to kiss me but her lips only brush mine before pulling away again. "What if you don't get a case? Are you still gonna take me on a date?"
I put on a pensive face that makes her laugh. "I'll think about it," I press my lips to hers, unable to handle the short, torturous distance anymore. The kiss doesn’t last nearly as long as I want it to because we’re standing the hallway at midnight where anyone could catch us, letting the heat out, after a long day of making cookies and watching movies, and it’s absolutely freezing. So when we pull away, I have to will myself to not groan or grimace.
"Let me walk you out," Amelia hums, grabbing her keys before walking out with me. Our pinky's interlock as we walk down her apartment hallway, towards the door outside. "Will you text me when you get home? I just wanna make sure you get home safe," we stop in front of the door and she wraps her arms around my waist. "I know you're a fully capable FBI agent and all but it's late and I worry about that stuff,"
"Of course I will," I hug her tightly, pressing my lips to her cheek. "Thank you for inviting me over. I would've just been sitting alone and reading books all day without you,"
"Thanks for coming over," she echoes, pulling away from our ultra-warm hug and letting a chill run down her spine. "I would've watched movies alone all day. So thanks for being with me. I'll miss you tomorrow,"
"I will too, but I'll text you when I get home and I'll talk to you tomorrow to let you know if I get a case or not,"
"I'll be glued to my phone," Amelia winks at me, getting me to laugh one last time for the night. "Now go, before it gets even later."
“You go back to your apartment first. I know it’s right there but I, uh,” I glance behind her, down the dim hallway, “I worry about that stuff,”
Amelia smiles in the most smitten way I think I’ve ever seen, and for once, I think I’ve actually done something right. “Yeah, okay,” she nods, and she pushes herself up on her toes to kiss my cheek on more time. “Bye, Spencer. Merry Christmas,”
“Merry Christmas,” I echo, watching her scurry back to her apartment and unlock the door, stepping into the warmth. Her head pops out once more and she sends me a wave, blowing me a kiss before she disappears. The air I exhale reverberates off the wall and the smile on my face is undeniable, even as I dance on the cusp of frostbite during my walk home. A girl like that is mine? A girl like that who blows kisses and bakes cookies all day and cuddles during movies? She’s mine? Amelia is mine. She really is and as soon as that thought echoes in my head, a laugh escapes my lips. I must be the luckiest man alive.
hello there! if you’re still reading here then please tell me your favorite snack!! plz im v hungry thank u sm okay here’s the taglist
TAGLIST
@etheralgubler @babybobbybones @whollytaciturn @reidswords @thegingerfairchild @matthewreid @shrimpyblog @garcias-batcave @anamelessfacelessnerd @nastyhar @gublergirls @mandapanda8
#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#matthew gray gubler#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fanfiction#mgg#nikos north fic
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
Duke Reviews: The Star Wars Holiday Special
Hi, Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where Today We Are Doing The Last Review Of This Year's Yultide Reviews...
All Right, Let's Get This Over With...The Star Wars Holiday Special...
Released 1 Year After The Success Of A New Hope, This Special Sees Wookie Chewbacca, Racing Home To Kashyyk On Board The Millennium Falcon With Han Solo So He Can Celebrate The Wookie Holiday, Life Day With His Family...
So, What Are We Waiting For Let's Dive Into The Star Wars Holiday Special...
The Special Starts On-Board The Millenium Falcon, As Han Solo (Played By Harrison Ford) Attempts To Get Chewbacca Home To Kashyyk For The Annual Wookie Holiday Known As Life Day But Unfortunately They're Been Chased By 2 Imperial Star Destroyers, Which Except For The Stuff In The Cockpit Of The Falcon With Ford And Chewbacca, Is Just Stock Footage From A New Hope...
Going To Hyperspace, We Get The Star Wars Theme And Our Credits Before We're Transported To Chewbacca's Home On Kashyyk Where We Meet Chewbacca's Wife, Malla, His Father, Itchy And His Son, Lumpy And From There It's Downward Spiral Down The Crapper As From Then Forward We Get Nothing But Wookie Talk With
No Subtitles!...
Now, While It Bothers Some People, It Doesn't Bother Me As Much Because My Family Likes Chewbacca, He's My Mom's Favorite Character And While He's Not Mine, I Don't Mind Him As Much So The Wookie Roars In This Special Isn't As Annoying To Me And My Family As It Is For Everyone Else...
Now I Know What Your Starting To Think That This Is Going To Be A Repeat Of My Haunted Mansion Review Where Thought That While Some Things Were Bad In The Film It Wasn't A Completely Horrible Movie Like Most Haunted Mansion Fanatics Would Make People Believe Well, Believe Me When I Say That It's Not Going To Be Like That It's Just That That Particular Thing Doesn't Bother Me As Much As Everyone Else...
But What Does Bother Me However, Is That Through These Characters We Get Very Little Of A Narrative Or A Story Out Of Them And Instead We Have To Revolve Around The Side Characters (Like The Guy Art Carney Plays, Luke, R2, Leia, 3PO, Han And Vader) To Tell The Story For Us When Really It's Supposed To Be About Chewbacca And His Family And Nothing And Nobody Else...
Anyway As We Watch Chewbacca's Family, We See That They're Like Most Families Back Then With Grandpa Itchy Making Models, Son Lumpy Playing With His Toys And Mom Malla Working In The Kitchen To Make Dinner For Life Day...
But When Malla Asks Lumpy To Take Out The Trash, He Goes For A Wookie Cookie (I Guess) But (Like All Moms Back Then) Malla Tells Lumpy To Put It Back Or Else He'll Ruin His Dinner Only For Lumpy To Take It Anyway...
Taking Out The Trash After Swiping The Wookie Cookie, Lumpy Decides To Do A Balancing Act Before Our Very Eyes Before Cutting Back To The Inside Of The House...
It's Like Why Did We Stick On That For A Few Minutes?...
youtube
Looking At A Picture Of Chewbacca It's Obvious That Malla Misses Her Husband, But With Itchy Knowing That His Son Will Be Here Soon, He Asks Malla To Return To The Kitchen To Work On Dinner...
Attempting To Keep Lumpy Distracted, Itchy Gives Lumpy A Holodisk To Watch On The Space Chess Board (I Say That As It Looks Like The Chess Board That's On-Board The Millennium Falcon) Which Shows...I Don't Know What...It Looks Like A Mix Of Dancing And Gymnastics...
Asking For Lumpy To Watch Dishes After Watching That, Still Worried About Chewbacca, Malla Checks For Spaceships In The Area Only For Her To Find None, This Leads Her To Contact Luke Skywalker And R2-D2 Who Are Working On A Part For Luke's X-Wing...
Asking Luke About Chewbacca, He Tells Malla That Him And Han Left On Schedule And If They're Not There Now Then They're Way Overdue And May Be In Trouble. But Luke Tells Them Not To Worry As It Just May Be Taking Them A Little Bit Longer To Get There As R2 Causes The Part To Burst With Heat Enough To Damage Luke's Face Which Forced Him To Get Plastic Surgery So He Would Look Like This In The Sequel...
Hey, It's A Better Story Than What They Came Up With For Empire...
But Still Worried About Chewbacca, Malla Calls The Owner Of The Trading Post On Kashyyk, Saun Dann Played By Art Carney Who Is Busy Dealing With An Imperial Officer In His Store But Tells Her In His Own Way That Chewie Is 4 Planets Away With Han And It's Going To Take A Few For Them To Get There...
Meanwhile On Board A Star Destroyer, We See Darth Vader Talking With An Officer, Saying That He Wants Those Rebels Found Even If They Have To Search Every House In The System...
Back At The Chewbacca Household, Malla Continues Working On Dinner With The Help Of A Gourmet Cooking Show Hosted By A 4 Armed Cook, Played By Harvey Korman Which Is Just One Of The Annoying Skits That I Don't Like In This Special...
Meanwhile In Outer Space, Han And Chewie Are Now Dealing With Tie Fighters After Losing The 2 Star Destroyers (Including The One That Vader Was On)
But Back On Kashyyk, An Imperial Announcement Appears Telling Everyone That The Empire Has Declared Martial Law On The Planet, With A Blockade Guarding It And That Until Further Notice, No Ships Are Allowed To Land Or Take Off Until Further Notice...
Hearing A Knock On The Door, Malla And Her Family Worry That It Maybe Stormtroopers But Instead It's Saun Dann, With A Proton Pack For The Mine Evaporator (Or For Ghostbusting, Whichever) Noticing Their Sad Faces Because Of The Announcement, Saun Tells Chewie's Family Not To Worry For If He Got Through Imperial Stormtroopers Than Chewie Might Be Able To Too...
Giving Chewie's Family Life Day Gifts, Malla Gets A Machine We'll See Later, Lumpy, A Transmitter That Will Give Us Nothing But Boredom Later And Itchy, A...Well, It's Supposed To Be A Virtual Reality Machine But Really It's Nothing But A Big Fat Porn Box!
And It's In This Porn Box, We Meet Diahann Carroll Who Sings A Song In This World Of Virtual Reality...
But After That Mind Sticking Scene, Princess Leia And C-3PO Call Malla To Talk With Han And Chewie But Malla (Through 3PO's Translation) Tells Them That They're Not There...
Asking If Malla Is Alone, Malls Tells Them That She Is Not And Brings Saun Dann To The Viewing Screen To Talk With Leia Who Asks Saun To Stay With Them Until Chewie Gets There To Which He Agrees...
Back In Outer Space, Han And Chewie Arrive On Kashyyk, Only To Notice Imperial Ships Around Which Forces Han To Land On The Far Side Of Kashyyk...
Hearing What Sounds Like The Millenium Falcon, Lumpy Opens The Door To Discover, Stormtroopers!...
And A Few Imperial Troops Who Are Looking For Han And Chewie And Search The Premises...
Coming Across The Device, Saun Got Malla For Life Day, Saun Turns It On For One Of The Imperial Troops To See Only To Discover...Jefferson Starship!...
youtube
After That Pointless Scene, Saun Dann Is Forced To Leave By The Imperial Troops As He Has No Purpose To Be There. With The Troops Searching Upstairs, Lumpy Watches A Cartoon While They Do...
This Cartoon Actually Is The First Appearance Of The Bounty Hunter Boba Fett...
youtube
Done Searching Upstairs, Lumpy Goes Upstairs To Find Not Just His Room But All Of His Toys Destroyed So, He Decides To Get Rid Of The Imperial Troops By Using His New Transmitter But Unfortunately He Has To Put It Together So We Unfortunately Have To Sit Through An Instructional Video On How To Put It Together With A Malfunctioning Emorphient Being (Played Again By Harvey Korman) Giving The Instructions...
And How Do I Feel About This Scene? Well, I Think The Nostalgia Critic Said My Opinion Exactly...
youtube
(Start At 15:16, End At 15:48)
If By Any Chance You Get Your Brain Unzombified After Watching That Skit, We Get Another Skit Showing Us Life On Tatooine, Which Sends Us To The Cantina Where We Meet The Owner, Ackmina (Played By Bea Arthur) Who Is Approached By An Alien Named Krelman (Played By Guess Who, Harvey Korman) Who Has A Crush On Her Over Something That She Said To Him That He Misunderstood...
But When An Imperial Announcement Stating That Until Further Notice There Is To Be A Nightly Curfew On Tatooine, Ackmina Has No Choice To Close The Bar But Not Before Offering One Last Round To Her Patrons, Which Leads Into A Song...
youtube
(End At 4:46)
Now What Do I Think About This Skit? I Think It's One Of The Best (And Only) Good Skit In This Special And If There Was A Reason To See This Abomination Of A Special, It Would Be For This Skit...
But Moving On, Lumpy Activates His Transmitter To Lead The Imperial Troops Away But He Is Caught By One Of The Stormtroopers Who Stays Behind Because Of Orders From One Of The Imperial Soliders And Destroys The Transmitter. Chasing Lumpy, The Stormtrooper Is Confronted By Chewbacca And Han Who Disarms The Stormtrooper Of His Weapon So Han Can Make The Trooper Fall Off Of The House Apparently...
With Everything All Right Again, Han Can't Stay As He's Got To Get Back To The Falcon Before Someone Stumbles Across It...
(Harrison Ford) Okay, I Gotta Go Somebody's Waving A Check For Me Outside, Bye...
After Han Leaves, Saun Dann Returns Again To Tell Chewbacca And His Family Not To Worry About Imperial Soliders As They Left, However Another Announcement Comes Over The Tv Stating That The Empire Is Looking For The Stormtrooper Who The Imperial Soliders Left Behind But It's Quickly Taken Care Of By Saun Dann Who Tells The Empire That After The Imperial Soliders Left The Trooper Behind He Stole Food From Chewie's Family And Robbed Saun Dann Blind Before Running Off...
Telling Them To Have A Good Life Day And...
Saun Dann Leaves, As We See Chewbacca And His Family Start Their Life Day Celebrations By Grabbing Balls Of Light Which Place Them In Red Choir Outfits Which Somehow Make Them And Other Wookies Walk Through Space Into A Bright Sun Or Something? I Don't Know What's Going On Here But Somehow They All End Up In Front Of A Big Tree Which Is Supposed To Be The Tree Of Life, I Guess...
But I Surely Don't Know What George Lucas Or Whoever Wrote This Was Smoking But That Defiantly Does Not Look Like The Tree Of Life At Disney's Animal Kingdom...
Reunited With His Friends, R2-D2, C-3PO, Princess Leia, Luke Skywalker And Han Solo, Princess Leia Gives A Speech...
youtube
(Start At 1:03,End At 3:03)
After That We Get Some Footage From A New Hope, Including Scenes With Alec Guinesss (Who Thanks His Lucky Stars He Wasn't In This Special) And We See Chewie And His Family Sitting Down For Life Day Dinner As Our Special Ends...
And That's The Star Wars Holiday Special And Yeah, It's Horrible...
I'm Serious, Folks It's Bad And The People We Can Blame For That Are Definitely Harvey Korman And Diahann Carroll Otherwise I Didn't Mind The Stuff With The Original Cast, Art Carney Wasn't Bad, The Bea Arthur Skit Was One Of The Highlights (Despite Harvey Korman Being In It) And The Chewbacca's Family (Despite Not Understanding Them) Weren't Abysmal And Didn't Bother Me As Much As Everyone Else Because I'm Used To Wookie Sounds. If You Must Watch It, Watch It For The Bea Arthur Cantina Scene Otherwise This Is One To Skip...
Well, With Christmas Now Behind Us, It Means Back To Reviewing As Usual And What A Way To Come Back Then To Look At Something I've Been Dying To Talk About, Till Then, This Is Duke, Saying Have A Happy New Year And See You In January...
Coming In January...
youtube
The Marvel Cinematic Universe!
#Disney#Star Wars#the star wars holiday special#mark hamill#harrison ford#carrie fisher#anthony daniels#peter mayhew#Happy Life Day#christmas specials#james earl jones#Darth Vader#luke skywalker#han solo#Princess Leia#C-3PO#R2-D2
1 note
·
View note
Text
Duke Reviews Extra: Duke's Top 15 Favorite TV Christmas Episodes
Hi, Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Another Duke Reviews Xtra Where Today We Continue Duke's Yultide Reviews...
And As You Know We're Reviewing Christmas Movies And Specials Every Sunday In November And December But There's One Thing That I'm Unable To Review Without Looking At A Series First On Duke Reviews Tv And That's Christmas Episodes And On Today's Top 15 I'm Counting Down My Top 15 Favorites..
With A Few Rules For Myself And My Audience With The First Being One Christmas Episode Per Show Otherwise I'd Be Talking About Every Home Improvement Christmas Episode And Every Glee Christmas Episode Because They're That Good Of Episodes And I Watch Them Every Year During The Holidays But I Might Merit A Mention Or 2 Throughout The Countdown...
Also No Bad Comments Please, This Is My List And It's What I Like, So If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say, Just Don't Say It At All. Now, On With The Countdown...
15. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers "I'm Dreaming Of A White Ranger"
Go Ahead, I'm Ready...
This Episode Sees The Power Rangers Celebrating Christmas At Ernie's But Lord Zedd And Rita Repulsa Have Evil Plans For The Holidays As They Send Goldar And Rito Revolto To Kidnap Santa And Take Over His Workshop So They Can Have The Elves Mass Produce Lord Zedd's Evil Christmas Toy That Will Enslave The Minds Of All The Children Of The World...
This Episode Has Gotten Alot Of Flack As One Of The Series Worst Episodes But Unlike The Power Rangers Zeo Christmas Episode, I Kind Of Like This One...
It Captures The Right Amount Of Christmas Spirit For Kids While Also Keeping Some Of That Power Ranger Magic Even Without The Suits Which Leads Me To Say See It...
14 Smallville "Lexmas"
This Episode Sees Lex Considering Whether To Have Someone He Knows Get Fake Or Damaging Information On Jonathan Kent In An Attempt To Ruin His Campaign For Senator But When Lex Is Shot By The Navy Thunder Ranger (Seriously It's The Same Actor Who Played That) He Falls Into A Coma And Is Visited By The Ghost Of His Mother Who Shows Lex What His Life Would Be Like If He Frees Himself From His Father. Meanwhile, Clark Helps Chloe Deliver Presents For The Daily Planet..
This Episode Is An Interesting What If Episode...
It's Shows Us What Lex's Life Could Be Even If He Makes The Wrong Choice In The End Either Way I Say See It...
13 The Brady Bunch "The Voice Of Christmas"
In This Classic Episode Of The Brady Bunch, Carol Gets A Case Of Laryngitis, And May Not Be Able To Sing At The Holiday Service This Year But When Cindy Goes To Ask Santa To Give Her Mom Her Voice Back For Christmas...
youtube
(Start At 1:47, End At 2:37)
Carol Gets Her Voice Back Via Christmas Miracle And Manages To Sing For The Christmas Service...
youtube
(Start At 0:33, End At 2:12)
It Was Hard Placing This So Low But That's Mainly Because There Are So Much Better Christmas Episodes Than This Now...
But It Is A Very Memorable Episode Of The Series And I Can't Help But Remember It When I Look Back At The Brady Bunch And I Definitely Say Give It A Watch...
12. Family Guy "Road To The North Pole"
This Episode Sees The Griffins And All Of Quahog Getting Ready For Christmas, But When A Mall Santa Blows Off Stewie, He Makes It His Mission To Kill Santa Claus. Going To The North Pole With Brian The Dog, They Discover That All The Years Of Lists And Demands From Us Have Practically Killed Santa Claus And If Something Isn't Done, Christmas As We Know It Will Be Gone Forever...
This Episode Has A Great Storyline...
The Songs Are Great And I Can't Help But Sing Along With It Every Year But Despite Some Scenes Being Funny Others Aren't But Either Way It's Still A Fun Christmas Episode And I Say See It...
11. Glee "Extraordinary Merry Christmas"
This Was A Hard Decision To Make As This And The Season 2 Episode "A Very Glee Christmas" Are Both Good Episodes, But This Is Mainly On The List Because Of It's Storyline...
This Episode Sees Sue Recruiting New Directions To Perform For A Bunch Of Homeless People At Homeless Shelter Where She'll Be Volunteering, But When The Glee Club Gets An Opportunity To Create A Holiday Special For PBS With The Paraplegic Artie As Director, The Glee Club Jumps At The Opportunity To Do It To Sue's Dismay...
With Artie Making The Special As A Homage To The Judy Garland Christmas Special And (Sighs) The Star Wars Holiday Special, It Leads To A Special With An Interesting Storyline And Great Songs And I Can't Help But Say See It...
10. Full House "Our First Christmas Show"
I Realize That There Are Some People (Namely The Nostalgia Critic) Who Hate The Tanners But I Can't Help But Love This Episode...
This Episode Sees The Tanner Family Headed To Colorado For The Holidays But When Their Flight Is Forced To Land Until Tomorrow (Which Is Christmas Day) It Has Stephanie Upset That Santa Won't Find Her And It Has DJ Upset When Danny Tells Her That The Presents Are Missing...
But When Jessie Makes A Speech That Unites Everyone Together...
youtube
(Start At 1:27, End At 2:39)
They Just May Have The Merriest Christmas Ever...
This Is A Fantastic Christmas Episode With A Great Message That's Definitely Worth A Watch...
09.Friends "The One With The Holiday Armidillo"
While This Is More Of A Hanukkah Episode, It's One Of My Favorites To Watch During The Holidays...
This Episode Sees Ross Wanting To Introduce His Son Ben (Played By Riverdale's Jughead) To Hanukkah But Ben Loves Christmas So Much That It Botches All Of His Attempts But When He Tries One More Time It Leads To A Funny Scene...
youtube
This Episode May Be Friends Only Memorable Christmas Episode But It's One Of Their Best And I Can't Help But Say See It...
08. The Flash "Running To Stand Still"
While The Arrowverse Uses Their Christmas Episodes To Introduce The Big Bad Of The Seasons, This One Doesn't And Is Just Focuses Something That Happens Around The Holidays In Central City...
This Episode Sees Weather Wizard Busting Out Captain Cold And The Trickster (Played By Mark Hamill) Out Of Jail So They Can Finish Off The Flash After He Was Nearly Beaten To Death By The Big Bad Of That Season, Zoom. With Captain Cold Passing On The Offer (Only To Go To Legends Of Tomorrow Which Premiered The Following Year) Weather Wizard And The Trickster Team Up To Fight The Flash With The Trickster Going All Out For The Holidays...
This Episode Is Full Of Both Action And Comedy From Both Hamill's Trickster And Miller's Captain Cold, Who Gets Kind Of A Precursor To His Role On Legends In This Episode When He Talks With Barry About Weather Wizard And Trickster And Barry Tells Cold To Help Him Stop Them Only For Cold To Tell Barry That He's Not Interested In Being A Hero When That's What He Ends Up Becoming On Legends Because Barry Inspired Him. Also This Episode Introduces Wally West To The Series Who Would Eventually Become Kid Flash Either Way It's A Great Episode And I Say See It...
07. Doctor Who "The Snowman"
This Episode Sees The 11th Doctor Mourning The Loss Of His 2 Companions, Amy Pond And Rory Williams To Both The Marvel Cinematic Universe And The CW's Arrowverse
But He Is Soon Forced Into Action When A Governess Named Clara Oswin Oswald Investigates Living Snowmen Who Are Being Brought To Life By The Great Intelligence (Voiced By Sir Ian Mckellan) With The Help Of A Man Named Dr. Simeon...
What Can I Say About This Episode? It's The Doctor Vs. An Army Of Snowmen And It's Just Awesome, Plus The Acting In It Is Fantastic, You Can Honestly Feel The Doctor's Pain Over Losing Rory And Amy But When Clara Comes In, It's Like He's A New Man Plus In This Episode We Get A New Interior For The Tardis That Would Soon End Up Belonging To The 12th Doctor As Matt Smith Was Leaving Soon And They Would Find A Replacement In Peter Capaldi, Still It's A Fantastic Episode And I Say See It...
06. Everybody Loves Raymond "The Toaster"
This Was A Hard Decision To Make As Most Of The Everybody Loves Raymond Christmas Episodes Are Pretty Good But I Felt That What Happens In This Episode Happens More Often To Some People...
In This Episode, Ray And Debra Get Personalized Toasters For Their Family And Friends For Christmas, But Despite Ray's Brother, Robert And Debra's Parents Loving The Toasters, Ray's Parents, Frank And Marie, End Up Taking It Back To The Store And Switch It Out For A Coffee Machine...
Realizing That Their Son Is Upset With Them, They Return To The Store To Try To Get It Back...
youtube
This Episode Is Funny, What Happens When Ray Finds Out That Marie And Frank Traded In The Toaster For A Coffee Machine Is Freaking Hysterical And That Scene Where Marie Tells Frank That She's Not Just A Trophy Wife Is Also Funny And I Say See It...
05. Batman: The Animated Series "Christmas With The Joker"
This Episode Sees The Joker Escaping From Arkham Asylum To Pirate The TV Airwaves With His Own Christmas Special...
youtube
(Start At 1:27, End At 2:06)
Where He Causes Trouble Not Just For Batman And Robin But All Of Gotham As He Kidnaps Commissioner Gordon, Detective Bullock And News Reporter Summer Gleason...
While This Is The First Appearance Of The Best Joker Of All Time, This Episode Is Filled With Action, Christmas Cheer, And Comedy That's Mainly Done By Hamill's Joker And I Definitely Say See It...
youtube
04. Two And A Half Men "Walnuts And Demerol"
This Episode Has Charlie About To Have Sex With A Girl Named Gloria But When All Of His Family And Friends Come Over It Goes From A Date Which Is Leading To Coitus To A Funny Christmas Party Despite Charlie Telling Everyone That It's Not A Christmas Party...
Between This And The Episode "Santa's Village Of The Damned" This Was Another Hard Decision...
This Episode Is Funny, With The Stuff Berta Says In This Episode, Candy Playing The Piano And The Surprise Twist In The Episode (Yes, There's A Surprise Twist) It's A Good Episode And I Say See It...
03. Frasier "Frasier Grinch"
This Episode Sees Frasier Crane Preparing To Spend The Holidays With His Father And His Son Fredrick, But When He Wrong Box Of Toys Him And Niles Have To Get Fredrick The Presents He Ordered On Christmas Eve At A Toy Store...
This Episode Is Very Funny I Absolutely Love The Scenes Where Fraiser Is Trying To Tell His Annual Christmas Story To His Viewers Only To Be Interrupted By "Bulldog" Briscoe And Gil Chesterton Who Bring In A Stripper To Distract Frasier From Telling His Boring Story And When Frasier Comes Home To His Penthouse Apartment To See That His Father Has Turned His Apartment Into Santa's Winter Wonderland For Fredrick, Either Way, It's A Good Episode And I Say See It...
02. Home Improvement "Twas The Night Before Chaos"
Again With Alot Of Good Home Improvement Christmas Episodes This Was A Hard Decision To Make...
The Taylor Family Spend Christmas With Tim's Brother, Marty, His Wife And Their Newborn Babies But When Jill's Parents Also Come Over For The Holidays, Jill Notices That They're Defiantly Not Getting Along As Ever Since Her Father, The Colonel (Played By The Same Guy Who Was Tim's Older Neighbor In Christmas With The Kranks) Retired From The Army, He Hasn't Done Anything Except Watch Patton In His Den Over And Over Again
youtube
And Jill's Mom Thought That Once He Retired That They Would See The World...
If Roseanne Was Good At Halloween, Then Home Improvement Did Christmas Just As Good, From Tim's Lighting Contest Fights With Their Proctologist Neighbor, Doc Johnson To Tool Time Around The Holidays These Episodes Are Funny And This One Is No Exception And I Definitely Say See It...
Before We Get To Our Number One Let's Look At The Top 5 Runners Up That We Wanted To Add But Just Couldn't...
05. X-Men "Have Yourself A Morlock Little X-Mas
The X-Men Celebrate Christmas Together However When The Morlocks Ask The X-Men To Save Their Youngest Member, Wolverine Has To Make A Decision Whether To Use His Blood To Save Him Or Not...
04. Mystery Science Theatre 3000 "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't"
Between This And The Santa Claus Conquers The Martians Episode, This Was A Hard Decision To Make...
The Team Aboard The Satellite Of Love Is Forced By KInga Forrester And Her Partner Max, Tv's Son Of Tv's Frank To Watch A Movie Called The Christmas That Almost Wasn't Which Sees Santa Claus Asking A Lawyer To Help Him Deal With A Miserly Land Owner Named Prune, Who Will Own Santa's Home Unless He Pays Him Back His Entire Debt He Owes By Christmas Eve Or Gives Him All Of The Christmas Presents As Collateral Which Would Destroy Christmas As We Know It...
03. The Monkees "Our Christmas Show"
The Monkees Look After A Rich Kid (Played By Eddie Munster) Who Believes Christmas Is A Waste Of Time So, The Group Tries To Get The Kid Into The Christmas Spirit...
02. The Real Ghostbusters "X-Mas Marks The Spot"
The Ghostbusters Accidentally Go Into A Time Portal To Victorian England And Accidentally Capture The Ghosts Of Past, Present And Future Which In Turn Creates A Grim Future Where Christmas No Longer Exists And Everyone Acts Like Ebenezer Scrooge And The Only Way To Fix This Is To Get The Ghosts Out Of The Containment Grid And Place Them Back Where They Were With Scrooge...
01. Kim Possible "A Very Possible Christmas"
As Kim Spends Christmas With Her Family And Her Grandma, Ron And Rufus Take An Assignment To Deal With Dr. Drakken's Latest Attempt To Take Over The World As A Secret Santa Gift For Kim, But When The Mission Goes Wrong With Ron, Rufus And Drakken Stranded At The North Pole, It's Up To Kim And Her Family To Rescue Them Before Shego Gets There...
And Now Onto Our Number One Favorite Christmas TV Episode...
01. The Big Bang Theory "The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis"
This Episode Sees Penny Getting Sheldon A Christmas Present Which Forces Him To Get A Christmas Gift For Penny With The Help Of Raj And Howard, Stopping By Bed Bath And Beyond, Sheldon Decides To Get Penny A Gift Basket Of Bath Items But Not Knowing What Size, Sheldon Decides To Buy A Boatload Of Them And Give Penny The Correct Basket Depending On The Size Of The Gift, So, When Christmas Morning Comes Around This Happens...
youtube
#1 (Start At 0:41, End At 1:54) #2 (Start At 2:38, End At 3:19)
This Episode Is The Most Hilarious Christmas Episode I Have Ever Seen And That Is Because Of Jim Parsons' Sheldon Cooper And How He Handles Christmas Or Saturnalia....
youtube
(Start At 0:08, End At 0:40)
And Because Of That, I Say See It...
Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...
1 note
·
View note
Text
2021 Books & major events in review
Best Served Cold, The Heroes- Joe Abercrombie
American Gods- Neil Gaiman
Anansi Boys- Neil Gaiman
The Hogfather- Terry Pratchett
Odd & The Frost Giants- Neil Gaiman
Norse Mythology- Neil Gaiman
Fortunately, the Milk- Neil Gaiman
The Perks of Being A Wallflowe- Stephen Chbosky
Sideways Stories From Wayside School - Louis Sachar (for pure childhood nostalgia-- they are still as weird & hilarious as I remember!)
The Prince and the Dressmaker- Jen Wong (gorgeous story, gorgeous illustrations, gorgeous queer representation with a happy ending!)
Hyperbole & a Half- Allie Brosh (no one makes me feel seen, heard, & not alone as this incredible woman I'll probably never meet)
The Boy, the Mole, The Fox, & The Horse- Charlie Mackesy (this was the very first thing I picked up & read exactly 1 year ago today. Its one of my favorite comfort books & I also sent it to friends who were having a particularly tough year)
2021 wasn't as prolific or diverse a reading year for me as 2020. 2020 was better both in quantiy & variety, including excellent non-fiction from Black female authors. I think this year I needed a lot more escapism. I blame stress. I took more labor-intensive classes in the spring & fall. I moved from Pittsburgh to Oberlin in the spring, then Oberlin to Lorain in the fall. took an accelerated statistics course which drained basically all my time & joy. I had a sleep study done which confirmed sleep hypopnea & explains why I'm a perpetually exhausted piece of shit. I was prescribed a cpap which I still don't have because of insurance blah blah blah that I don't care to get into. Me & K hit some serious relationship stressors & issues that are improving but definitely took a big toll on both of us as individuals & as a couple. This has been markedly improving however. I caught covid (omicron variant) just before Christmas & it's basically ruined my holiday as expected. My symtoms haven't been worrying or severe, & I know I'm incredibly lucky. But I'm still postitive & in quarantine with holy hell fatigue. Back in March-April a tumor was found on my dad's kidney. Blessedly, it was extremely localized and despite losing a rib, 90% of the kidney was saved. In October after my birthday though, he was hospitalized again with persistent kidney stones in the intact kidney & consequent elevated creatinine. Thankfully a stent seems to have resolved the issue with no permanent damage. But not before mom was en route to visit & T-boned by someone who ran a red light. So we had a fun day where both parents were in the hospital at the same time. Mom was incredibly banged up & concussed, but miraculously otherwise unscathed. Mazda builds a helluva safe vehicle. I stayed over for 5 days to help. Dad was discharged on day 3 but was still delicate & mom needed more assistance than was healthy for him to provide. Both doing much, MUCH better now.
Anyhow, when I get stressed, my ADHD symtoms are greatly exacerbated & it's so, so difficult to focus. It makes reading even things I want to read & generally compatible with my attention span a chore. I needed more distractions & mental breaks this year. Neil Gaiman's writing style very much clicks with my ADHD brain & the way my attention span & imagination works. As does Sir Terry Pratchett & I predict more of his work passing through my hands & brain this year.
I also began two podcasts-- Welcome to Nightvale & The Adventure Zone. I also played my first D&D campaign ever. I'm so late to the party on these things, but absolutely better late than never. My D&D character was a blue dragonborn bard named Blooregard Q. Kazoo who's points are all funneled into charisma & strength. She's a bumbling pansexual idiot with a big heart & horribly awkward personality but is still somehow sexy (so, me irl more or less lol). We played a one-off with Eleni & Alex in Ann Arbor in early December. I made a dwarf named Tesh the Flesh Tearer (or Terror, whatever). Definitely a female dwarf but of course with the full beard & nuggety build of a dwarf, but talks like a valley girl. All her points are in strength, dexterity & charisma. Her motivation directionless rage & vengeance toward some mysterious unknown bastard who killed her beloved pet owlbear. She's all brawn & no brain but she's incredibly honest & trustworthy. I'm keeping her character sheet to use her again either in another one off or (ideally) another full campaign.
I already miss the summer. Living with M & D, & their doggo Oliver was just-- absolutely wonderful. Their home was perfect. Their company was perfect. Waking up to Oliver's excited wiggle-butt every morning was perfect. Oberlin, despite being pretty far from most things, was not boring. Having the college campus mere blocks away was absolutely lovely. Having family dinner a couple nights per week was so nice, as well as the four of us huddling up on the basement futon with coffee & dessert to watch Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. I knew we wouldn't be living there long, as we had initially thought our own house would be habitable by the end of the summer; it was, & still is not. Their decision to move to Seattle for a few years was unexpected & a little heartbreaking, but still so, so cool & exciting & something that is objectively good for them before fully settling. But moving out and saying goodbye was still a large blow to my heart & I've already been heavily nostalgic for this past summer there with them. We had also spent last Christmas & then New Year's with them. For new year's we spent 4 days at D's family cabin in mid-southern Ohio. The 4 of us and Oliver. Reading, napping, cooking, hiking, playing games next to the fireplace. Hands down THE BEST new year's I'd ever had. I even got the lucky slice of new year's bread with the coin in it.
Later in the year after vaccinating we traveled a little bit-- 3 weeks in Seattle in September, and 4 days in Phoenix the second week of December. I was exhausted & unbalanced through most of the Seattle trip, but managed to befriend multiple murders of crows & (unintentionally) flocks of geese. I did get to see several friends I have missed so much.
I had an absolutely fucking AMAZING time in Phoenix, where we stayed with friends. I'd never been & though we didn't see too much of the city, my first impression & vibe was fantastic. For some reason I hyperfixate on the flora whenever I visit a new place with enough of a climate difference & was persistently amused & delighted by the abundance of palms and cacti. I didn't even get into the desert, but next time we go I'm ecstatic to see more.
2021 is simultaneously the most stressful & best year I can recall of my adult life. I wish I could repeat the good parts without the intrinsic and extrinsic sources of strife & stress.
I am not going to wish or hope for anything in particular this year. I feel like doing so is just taunting the powers that may or may not be to toss boulders at me for their shits & giggles. I'm just going to do my best to keep all noise levels at a dull roar & not hope for anything specific.
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
