#twotalesmentalhealth
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My new mindset of "what's the easiest way for me to accomplish this" vs "I can't do this because I don't know how" is changing me for the better
Dumping perfectionism in the trash
#perfect isn't real#shed that skin and figure out how you can do the thing without being perfect before you try or worried it won't be perfect if you do#twotalesmentalhealth
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Haven't been to therapy in weeks because of the holidays. Going to have a lot to talk about today. Really not looking forward to that.
Even if it's what I need.
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My therapist had me write down ten of my values and I decided "fun" is one of them and it surprised my therapist because apparently"fun" as a value isn't common at all
Other people were also surprised and my brother didn't even realize you could pick fun as a value
#had no idea I would even write it down myself tbh#but imo#life is pointless without fun#twotalesmentalhealth
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Found a notebook my nephew left here, it's just random school notes but the handwriting and doodles fucking got me and then I'm just sobbing alone, worried someone will find me and then I realize I don't actually need to be alone, so I went to the living room all upset and P and O immediatly comforted me and gave me big hugs/kisses while I talked about why and it felt so good, it didn’t even ruin their moods!
I'm still sad, but I'm not lost in a spiral and I think I just taught something really important to my kid
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Turning off notifications for social media and such has been awesome
I only go on when I think about it 💚💛🦊
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I've decided to do extreme exposure therapy and use my real name to share my personal creative projects
I'm terrified
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Have I actually posted my sga art (not pixel) on this blog? I don't even remember
#probably not#but one of you might remember#I don't want to put it up a second time if I did#I know a few of you have seen it but my next step of being known is posting it here if I haven't#why don't I care about sharing gifs or thoughts? but REALLY care when it comes to art#what the fuck is wrong with me#anyways#twotalesmentalhealth
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I'm going to try an experiment and just turn off notifications for everything that isn't vitally important
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It's a struggle to really get down and get to work on things that will take years to accomplish, even if its your passion, when so many other things just give you instant gratification
#not to mention doing the things that aren't your passion but also take seemingly forever#twotalesmentalhealth
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Instead of calling myself "dumb" or "stupid" by saying "I did something dumb" when I make a mistake I'm going to say:
"I did something a bit silly"
That way I'm not calling myself dumb and instead calling myself a word my kid uses all the time, hopefully the connection helps
I think it might, I mean we are all so forgiving of mistakes when it comes to kids (I hope you are,) we know they will make tons of them and we teach them to keep trying, to keep learning from it, that it's not the end, it's not their fault for not knowing something or forgetting something, it's just human
I think we should treat ourselves like that too
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Bared my soul a little bit in a youtube comment about being a stay-at-home mom and then two dudes reply to it and it hurt
Like I stated that the youtuber saying his partner is a sahm and it's the hardest job in the world brought literal tears to my eyes, how it's so lovely to hear these things esp from them, esp from men, because we are bombarded by the contrary
Then this dude comes in and actively disagrees with me, saying it’s important, but not the hardest, nowhere near it, (I never said it was, I said it was lovely to hear) and another dude comments on that dudes, agreeing and saying that I'm in such a fortunate position to be a full time mom while my partner brings in money
I want to comment back "Actually we're fucking poor as shit and it's cheaper to be one where we live than to pay for daycare"
I probably won't unless it escalates but jfc
Even if you fucking believe that why would you respond to my comment that's for the youtuber? Why would you care enough to hurt me, and yeah if you were to sit for one fucking moment you would see how it's hurtful and completely unnecessary to say anything in the first place
This has been my third comment on youtube trying to put my actual self out there into the communities I wish to be a part of and then immediately one of my fears of being known is actualized
Fuck those guys
I suppose they did prove my point though
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I've been so busy and mentally off that I was feeling like I was only doing the bare minimum/phoning it in for our kids birthday party
but then while using a sharpie to make cheetah spots on yellow cups, after ordering custom chocolate cheetah cake donuts, and before stamping cheetahs onto goodie bags with cool safari theme stuff inside them
I realized that my bare minimum is not equivalent to what others would consider the bare minimum or even close to phoning it in and it kinda blew my mind
#I honestly believe most of us are all stupid and blind when it comes to ourselves#twotaleshomelife#twotalesmentalhealth#tinytwotales
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A person I respect once described me to my partner as "steel wrapped in kindness" and everytime I remember that I feel amazing
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I think my favorite thing is hearing people laugh
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Just read from an actual physical book that isn't a children's book for the first time since project hail mary came out in 2021
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I had a salad so I guess I'm healthy now
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