I finished listening to the Magnus Archives last night, and just wanted to thank these two users in r/TheMagnusArchives for providing posts that finally soothed my broken heart a little bit in the morning. I hope they can do the same for you, too, if you’re also easily utterly devastated by endings that even have a smidge of dark uncertainty.

bonus:

god made his strongest soldiers autistic only children of narcissistic parents

Day #1648392 of me thinking Do I really relate? Or am I just an empath????

I'm a highly sentimental being ✨️ it's in my nature as an empath. I'm also a writer. Often times when I give someone a note, it's more than just words to me. It's my heart, poured out onto paper. Otherwise I would've just sent you a text.

That's why when people give me a card, to me that's handpicked with love and intention. Or when they write me a note, no matter how simple the message. It has intent, thought and meaning behind it. So I keep each and every one.

When you're writing a fanfic and your empath nature gets in the way

Like

I'm writing a scene where a character is having a panic attack, and I just start having a panic attack too, even though I'm totally fine, but then I just can't finish writing the scene

🤷‍♀️

Please please please don't ever use people like place holders. We can tell. Dating in your mid30s is wild.

My covert narcissistic best friend was also extremely sensitive to criticism.

She took any form of advice or constructive criticism as a personal attack.

People who suffer from NPD, lack personal growth. They have no desire to learn from their mistakes because in their eyes, they never make mistakes. And everyone else is the problem. But yet it’s okay for them to tear other people down.

My best friend was the master at playing victim. YOU have to be okay with being the bad guy in the narcissist’s story. As long as YOU know WHO YOU ARE, that’s all that matters.

The truth always comes out sooner or later.

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I am never nervous. Or uncomfortable. In any situation.

BUT AS AN EMPATH I CAN FEEL THEIR NERVOUSNESS AND UNCOMFORTABLENESS AND THAT MAKE ME SCREAM.

Empaths

Some travel through life, blind, by their own thoughts, by a truth to which they themselves set limits.

Every truth perhaps has its downside. Contrasting ideas will make one of them endure. The fact that one truth is more powerful than another lies in the conviction of the arguments. How many times have you, as an empathetic person, been lied to directly? You knew that wasn't the true value of those words. It's difficult sometimes to trust your truth, but deep down you know that person's eyes didn't say the same as their mouth. Thus, perhaps, we enter a part of a sensitive awakening, which, like all awakenings, may bring us emotional misfortunes. We feel less connected to what we felt, because now we feel more. Noticing energies doesn't necessarily have to be an exercise in capturing auras or reading horoscopes, but if we truly believe that energies are everywhere, it would be clear that all we need to do is notice them. An empathetic person has the ability to, in the world, that we all know, perhaps venture to dismiss what most people think in broad strokes. Empaths, of course, embrace to a large extent, a great proportion of non-dual actions and thoughts. What truly raises awareness in someone, is using constructive knowledge along with positive thoughts. And thus taking the fatal facts for said person, and transforming them into something that fosters personal growth. Growing as a person and empathetically, not only involves personal growth but also turning misfortunes, apart from knowledge, into a form of self-love and love for others.

I'm having bleeding heart empath problems and can't stop feeling guilty. I know it's because of the ingrained people pleasing, but it's messing me up.

My mom is not a people person. She does not like to socialize, she likes to be on her own with my dad and I and that's it. She doesn't like getting together or mingling with people or really spending time with anyone who isn't family because she likes privacy and anonymity.

My boyfriend (24) invited my parents and I over for lunch for Christmas with his parents, brother and two sisters. It's my first boyfriend (I'm 29) and our first Christmas together.

I'm wishing that I told him a little white lie that my parents and I were spending the day with my grandparents, but I didn't think of that until it was too late.

My mom made a lot of food, bought gift cards for his 3 siblings and filled out Christmas cards. She didn't want to and she's stressed, exhausted and unhappy that we're doing this because it's not the Christmas she wanted to have. She was looking forward to and hoping it would just be the 3 of us just chilling on the couch watching movies. That's what she likes to do with her time.

But because I have a boyfriend now, plans had to change and her Christmas is ruined. Because I'm so compassionate, sympathetic and empathetic, I can't be excited for myself when I should be because I changed her plans and I feel guilty that she's going through all of this work to be on good terms with his family and be "nice" and show them that we're nice people. She says she likes his family... but I know she doesn't really want to socialize with them, if she had it her way.

She thinks my boyfriend is "too controlling" for suggesting we all get together. I just think he's sweet and eager to spend time with me, but... what do I know?

I'm in a funk now and I'm feeling moody, sad and wrong. Is this normal? I don't know how to feel.I wonder if my mom thinks I'm wasting my time, or that I could do better even though she says she "loves my boyfriend to death". He's goth, he vapes and curses and she doesn't like that, but... he treats me well, makes an effort, takes me on dates, buys me gifts, texts me good morning every morning, makes sure I've eaten enough, surprises me, watches my favorite movies with me, remembers the little things, tells me how much he loves me (and insists he loves me more!), asks me how my day is going and fills me in on his. He's protective of me and looks out for me when I'm not paying attention, it's almost like our thoughts are telepathic because there's chemistry and we're a good match emotionally. He accepts me and pays attention to my emotional needs, he can tell whenever I'm not okay just by looking at me, even when I'm just sitting there putting on a blank face like a mask and lost in my thoughts without saying a word and he'll ask me about it later because he's so "in tune" with me. He's cultured, smart, artistic, can cook and build things, athletic, has skills. He's the most romantic guy I've ever had the pleasure of knowing and experiencing that's not a fictional character.

And yet, because I was raised to respect my parents and family, I care about what she thinks and sometimes I get unspoken "vibes" that she's annoyed with how much we spend together, even though because of our work schedules he and I only get to see each other twice a week. I know for a fact that she misses me when I go out with him instead of spending time with her after work because we're all so busy all the time and my mom gets to see my dad even less than me. I still try to spend as much time with her as possible on days I'm not with my boyfriend, accompanying her on errands, having movie nights. But I need to know she likes my relationship and she's happy for me in order to feel okay... suddenly it's just hitting me? Is this a trauma thing?

I should be excited about getting to celebrate the holiday with my boyfriend, my favorite person, but instead I feel like one big inconvenience, like a big, chaotic train running right through everyone's plans because it has to be all about me. My dad doesn't like socializing either, like my mom. No wonder they ended up together, they're a perfect match.

My mom did confess, tonight, that she secretly hoped I wouldn't ever meet anybody so she wouldn't have to deal with their family.

That's really gross, but still... this GUILT and almost self doubt is really getting to me, and I know it's irrational and I want everyone to be happy, but I don't want to feel like this. She says she's happy for me and that she loves him, but I can sense a weird unspoken energy and it's messing me up and triggering me.

Am I wrong to feel happy for getting to see my boyfriend today and be with both him and my parents at the same time? Am I wrong to celebrate Christmas with my boyfriend? This is the first relationship I've ever been in, even though I'm 29. It almost feels like my mom wants me all to herself. I hate that I have to choose between him and her and I can't have both because my mom isn't normal. And yet I feel so bad because I want everyone to be happy.

Advice? How can I cast all these intrusive thoughts away and have a good time today and truly enjoy it?

Boy, it’s a whiplash going from “conceal-don’t-feel people pleaser empath” to “I understand where you’re coming from and I understand where they’re coming from but I am struggling to keep my temper in check. You do not want to see the wrath of God unleashed”

Empaths be like 🥴🥲😆🙃🫶🏽

I cry when I see people in pain, and I rejoice in their happiness. I weep like the glaciers and burn like the sun. I repair the cracks of my depression just to rip them back open. I indulge in the darkness so I can be the light in others. I say yes even when I mean no. I immerse myself in fantasy so that I can ignore reality. I fuck to forget. And I love where I should probably hate. I'm not perfect and I might be damaged. But I am me.

INFP.

Mediator.

The type to resolve conflicts and not seek them out.

The type to avoid confrontation at all costs.

The chronically exhausted

Perpetually done with everyone's bullshit

Appetite of a People Pleaser

Me.