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harryscherrypie · 2 years

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Glamour's friendship test -> bloopers

Summary - the bloopers and behind the scenes, of Harry's and (y/n)'s friendship test.

Word count - 3,6k

Warnings - talks of minor injuries and drinking

A/n - The bloopers for the friendship test, please like, reblog and follow, it would help tremendously.

Series navigation

The 'original' video

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"Guess what?" Harry called out as he let himself into your apartment.

"Hello to you too, what is it?" You chuckled as you looked in the direction of the front door.

"Jeff just called and said that Glamour wants me to come over to do an interview with them. They sent me I think three ideas from which I can choose from." He explained as he plopped on the couch, right beside you.

"That's cool, are you going?" You asked as you stopped the show playing on the TV so you could give all of your attention to him.

"Yeah, and I was wondering, one of the options which I could do was a friendship test, do you think you could do it with me? I know you love to watch those,"

You gasped in excitement. He was right, you loved to watch them and it melted your heart to see friends hugging each other for 2 minutes for some reason.

"Really? You want to do the friendship test with me?" You sat up and grabbed his hands.

"Yeah, why not? I don't really want to do the interviews alone," He shrugged. You lounged at him and crushed him in a tight hug. Harry laughed at your reaction and wrapped his arms around your waist, squeezing tighter.

Suddenly, you gasped and looked at him, looking very alarmed.

"Harry, that's not good," You said with wide eyes.

"What is it?" His smile fell, looking very concerned.

"What are we going to wear, we need to be stylish. Do we want to match, or do we want to be so mismatched it's actually going to match? When is the interview?" You stood up from the couch as you went to get your notebook.

"Do I have time to make something?" You asked with wide eyes.

"Love, you don't need to make something, we'll just put together something from our closets, you don't need to worry," He stroked your cheek and you nuzzled into his palm slightly.

"But it's my job as your unofficial official everyday stylist," you pouted. Harry only shook his head and took the notebook from your grasp.

"Love, the interview is in about 3 weeks, you don't need to do anything at all, just make a mess out of my closet and pick something out, and for the matching, I don't care, I completely trust you," He smiled at you.

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That's how you ended up in Glamour's offices, camera ready on a random Tuesday morning.

"Okay guys, just start whenever you are ready, we will do the intro quickly, just introduce yourselves, and that you are doing the friendship test for Glamour okay?" The director, Camilla explained what she wanted from you.

You and Harry stood on your imaginary marks and gave thumbs up.

"Action!"

"Hi, I am (y/n) (l/n)," Harry giggled.

"And I am Harry Styles," you mocked his deep and slow voice.

"And this is Glamour's friendship test," you both recited and high-fived when you got it on the first try.

"Cut!"

You looked behind the camera to see Camilla looking into the display of the camera, looking over the footage quickly.

"Okay guys, that was great, we are going to start with compliments okay?" she asked and you both nodded.

"Could we get some papers perhaps? I need some time to think because I can't compliment this one even if my life depended on it," You joked as you pointed at Harry.

That wasn't true though. You and Harry had a very intimate and vulnerable relationship. You were constantly all over each other, complimenting each other and whispering I love you's into each other's ears. Prior to the interview, you agreed on toning it down. You didn't want the whole world to know the extent and the private information of your friendship. So you agreed to put on an act of more of a funny, teasing, and not quite intimate friendship in front of the camera.

You were both handed a few flashcards and a pen. You placed the flashcards on some plastic pad, took the top off the pen, and put it in your mouth. You looked at Harry as he wrote something down already.

You looked at your blank page, gears in your mind turning. Of course, you had at least ten things you could compliment Harry on. But you had to be careful, not to let anything you agreed not to mention slip out.

You scribbled something quickly on the paper as Harry closed his pen.

"Okay, I've got something, let me start" He straightened up his posture and looked you in eyes.

"(y/n), my bestest friend," he joked. You rolled your eyes at him as he put on a serious face and continued.

"Your sense of humor is unmatchable, no one makes me laugh as much as you do," He smiled at you and your heart skipped a beat.

"Umm, thanks that's nice," you laughed awkwardly and looked down at your flash cards.

"Harry,"

"Yes,"

"You are one of the most talented people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing," you smiled up at him as you continued.

"I feel like you are good at everything. Singing, writing lyrics, poems, cooking, baking, you are good at everything," you breathed out the rest of the sentence and he grinned down at you.

"You are too sweet, lovie," he whispered out as he took your empty hand into his and squeezed it. You fell into a silent conversation with just your gazes.

'Is this okay?'

'Is this crossing the boundaries we have set before the interview?'

It didn't matter anymore. You knew you were probably going to get very emotional during the video and most likely couldn't get through it without shedding at least one tear. And Harry being the great friend he was, provided you the needed comfort that helped you not to break down just after this first exchange. You just loved him so much you wanted to cry.

"I still have 2 more, what about you?" He asked

"Yeah same," you shifted your weight from one leg to another and waited as Harry read through his remaining cards and picked which one he wanted to say next.

"Okay, (y/n), you have a very comforting presence, the best naps I've ever taken were the ones I've slept on you. Or I don't know, maybe you are just super boring," Harry said and acted nonchalantly.

"Oh God," you said as you looked up to the ceiling, trying to ward off the tears that gathered up in your eyes.

"I didn't think it would come this soon," you sniffled.

It warmed your heart, to know that you brought comfort to people. You've read somewhere that the fact that someone is able to fall asleep beside you, meant that they found you comforting. When you first connected the dots and thought about all the times' Harry fell asleep on you, brought you to tears. To know he was comfortable around you was the best feeling in the entire world.

Harry snickered as he pulled you into his side.

"You okay?"

you nodded as you looked down at your flash cards.

"What I really admire about you, is how of a good person you are. You are always so nice to everyone you work with. You always make time for your friends and family, even when you have work and don't have any time for yourself," you waved the flashcard in the air before you dropped it to the ground. Harry squeezed your shoulders in comfort.

"Thank you, that's really sweet," he looked you into your eyes and smiled.

"That's all you, I just pointed that out," you dug your finger into his side and he jumped up slightly. You laughed at his reaction as you picked up the dropped card.

"Okay, the last one," Harry announced and looked down at his card.

"(y/n), you are also a very good person, you make everyone feel welcome and invited whenever we are. You are sweet to everyone, even when you are not that fond of them. Which I find very admirable," he finished reading off the card, and the corners of his mouth raised into a soft and gentle smile.

"That's really nice, I'm happy you see me like that. It's very comforting to know that considering I don't see myself like that all the time. This brings me to my last point." You smiled at the smooth transition into the last compliment on your flash card

"Harry, you see good in everyone, even if they don't see it in themselves." you read off of the flash card and nodded your head as you finished up.

"Aww, my love, come here, let me hug you," he pulled you in and rested his head on your shoulder. He pulled away after a few moments and smiled at the people behind the camera.

"Was that okay? Do we need to do something again?"

"No guys it was great, give us the cards and the pens, and we'll go on to our next exercise, which is looking into each other's eyes for 2 minutes," the director called out as you handed the cards to some assistants that walked up to you.

"Are you ready?" She asked and you both nodded at the same time.

"Action!"

"The next exercise we are doing is looking into each other's eyes for two minutes," he explained the next exercise to the camera and you nodded in agreement.

"So we just stand face to face and stare, right?" Harry clarified as he turned to face you.

"Yeah, can we start the timer?"

"Yes," you and Harry said at the same time.

"Okay, it's on," the director called out and the room went quiet.

For the first 20 seconds, you were both quiet. You stared into each other's eyes, having a silent conversation with your gazes.

Around the 25-second mark, Harry took your hands in his and let them dangle in the space in between you.

"This is weird, I've never looked into your eyes for such a long time with just the intention of looking into your eyes," you mumbled out around the 35 seconds mark.

"Yeah, but it's kind of nice," Harry mumbled out and pulled you in even closer, your chests almost touching as you stared into each other's eyes.

At the 50 seconds mark, your eyes started to wander. Not a lot, just on the skin around his eyes and forehead.

"Heyyy," Harry whispered out harshly.

"Look in my eyes, that's why we are here," He joked.

"Sorry, you have little wrinkles around your eyes, they are very cute," you stroked the skin in the corner of his eyes and he 'tsked' in disagreement.

"Don't be rude lovie," he pinched your hip and you squealed in surprise.

"50 seconds left," the director called out.

Both of you went quiet again. You looked into Harry's eyes, just admiring the beautiful color in them. You'd always thought that his eyes were the most beautiful you've ever seen. Whenever you looked into them, the feeling of them looking at you brought you great comfort, even if unintentionally.

"10 seconds,"

"You have really pretty eyes, did you know that?" Harry asked as you were just about to say the same thing.

"I guess they are fine, your eyes on the other hand? Very beautiful,"

"Okay guys, done,"

You started into each other's eyes for a few moments more, before you looked away and stepped back, making the distance between you larger.

"Cut!"

You smiled at each other before Harry looked at the director as if to ask 'was that okay?'

The director nodded.

People behind the cameras started to run around after that and you just stood in front of the camera. As you waited, Harry pulled you closer to him.

"You okay love?" He asked as he nosed at your neck. You tilted your head to the side.

"Yeah, I am really glad I got to do this with you, I always imagined doing this with you," you confessed and Harry bit your neck jokingly.

"Hey, that's my thing, not yours," you faked annoyance as he distanced his face from your neck.

It wasn't usual for you to bite Harry, but you did it often. Mainly on some cozy nights, when your body was overcome with the feeling of love for him, and you became restless and couldn't lay still anymore. Harry would notice your antsy movements and silently offer you his arm.

You would latch onto his skin and stay like that for a few seconds, just releasing the feeling until you felt like you could lay down and not move every millisecond.

The director returned to her position, which you took as a sign. She called out "action!" and Harry started talking again.

"The next exercise, you will do the trust falls,"

"Oh no, the trauma," you threw your head back dramatically as you put your palm on your forehead.

"Don't be dramatic nothing happened," Harry rolled his eyes as you giggled at his reaction.

He didn't like to hear about the incident. A few years back, the two of you got completely wine drunk while you were having a movie night. The couple in the very terrible rom-com somehow ended up doing the trust falls and your drunken minds decided it would be great if you did the same. You stood on the carpet, with Harry behind you as you got ready to fall backward. In a few moments, you did. And Harry didn't catch you. He didn't notice you falling and you fell to the floor with a loud thud. Nothing happened to you, thankfully, but Harry felt extremely bad and promised to never do trust falls with you again.

"I am going first," Harry announced and stood in front of you.

"Are you sure you're not scared that I am going to get my revenge?" You joked and Harry shook his head.

"I wouldn't blame you, I kind of deserve it," he shrugged.

"Okay enough, fall for me,"

"Alright, alright," he chuckled as he turned back around and got ready to fall.

He slowly fell backward. You got ready to catch him and push him back to a standing position. His back slowly neared your palms and you braced yourself. As the material of his shirt touched the palms of your skin you pushed against him and watched him come back to the position he started in.

"Yay," you called out as he safely stood on his feet. He laughed at your reaction and rubbed your shoulder.

"You did great love," he smiled.

"Now me," you stood in front of him, ready to fall backward.

"Okay, this time, I am ready, let's hope you won't hurt yourself," he joked.

"Stop talking and catch me," you called back as you felt yourself fall backward.

You fell backward for a few moments before you felt Harry's arms wrap under your arms and catch you. Your head rested against him, almost at his lower stomach. He gently pulled you back up into a standing position.

"We did it," you smiled.

"Trauma healed, injuries avoided and my reputation restored," Harry puffed his chest out and you laughed at him.

You knew he felt guilty every time he remembered the accident because even though nothing happened, he didn't want to think about if it did. He didn't want to be the reason why you were hurt. He wanted to protect you and make sure you were alright, not hurt you.

"Cut!" Camilla called out as you turned to her to see what you were doing next.

"What's next?" you called out rubbing your hands together.

"You are going to paint each other now," the director called out as two assistants brought out easels, each with a small canvas.

You both got handed a pallet with a bunch of colors and a few brushes.

"You guys have 20 minutes, we will have the camera on, so please talk, have a conversation, and stuff."

"Action!"

"The next exercise, painting, we are going to paint each other, we have 20 minutes to complete our masterpieces," Harry explained to the camera.

You worked in silence for about a minute, before Harry spoke up.

"When you said I am talented at everything, I know you didn't mean painting because this looks horrendous," Harry huffed out as he tried to fix his mistake.

"No, I didn't," you laughed out.

"You are pretty terrible at painting," you mumbled out as you stuck your tongue in concentration.

"Yours is going to be so good I can already see it, you with your artist genes and fashion designer hands" he complained as he looked at his painting.

"Stop whining and paint," you jokingly snapped and he pouted.

"I don't want you to see my painting, you are going to laugh," he grumbled as he looked at you and swiped the brush over the canvas.

"Stop, don't put yourself down, it's like if I said, oh I don't want to sing around you, you'll laugh," you tried to encourage him and he thought about it for a while.

"But I like your singing,"

"Yes, but it's atrocious, I'm sure I'll love it, even if it's not that good," you grinned at him and he smiled back.

For the rest of the remaining minutes, you continued to work in silence, only mumbling a curse every so often. When the twenty minutes ended the sound of an alarm sounded through the room and you put your brushes down.

"You ready love?" You asked and Harry nodded. You carefully took your canvas and stood in front of the camera, brushing shoulders with Harry.

"Who's going first?" The cameraman asked, wanting to know which picture to zoom on in.

"I'm not going first," Harry stood his ground and you rolled your eyes.

"Okay, I'll go," you called out and turned your canvas around so it faced the camera.

"This is my Harry, this is how I see him," you gently described your painting.

You tried to paint one of your favorite memories together. You remembered how angelic he looked that day. His hair was a little bit longer than usual, his hairdresser appointment a few weeks overdue, so the curls made for a soft halo around his head.

You dressed him that day. He was feeling lazy so you picked out a cute picnic outfit for him, that subtly matched yours. Not that you would voice your intentions out loud. You picked out a chunky crochet sweater and a pair of beige slacks with some vans. Very effortless outfit, but he made it look good. He made anything look good.

Harry looked down and his mouth opened up slightly. It was a painting of him sitting on a picnic blanket on a flower field. It was a rough painting, you had only 20 minutes after all, but it was beautiful. He had to admit it he looked beautiful, angelic almost.

"You made me look so good," he breathed out in awe.

"That's all you, I just pained what I see when I look at you," you winked at him jokingly.

"I have to go now I guess," Harry sighed out and squeezed the canvas nervously.

"Whatever you painted, I'm sure it looks wonderful," you placed your hand on his shoulder, trying to make his nerves disappear just a tiny bit.

Harry turned his canvas and made it face the camera, just as you did just a few minutes prior.

"I painted (y/n) like this," He mumbled out.

You took a look at the canvas. It didn't look like you. It was a stick figure with vaguely the same outfit you had on today. The stick figure had the same hairstyle, makeup, and accessories as you, which only added to the similarity. The whole figure was encased in a big red heart, making it look like a toddler's drawing.

"Aww, Harry, it looks so cute, I love it," you cooed, as you admired the painting.

"It's so ugly," he fake cried and you shook your head.

"Nooo," you drawled out.

You truly didn't think it looked ugly. You were smitten with the man, and anything he would make or do, you would adore with your entire soul. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw the big heart your figure was encased in. It made the painting look whole and cozy, but knowing him, he probably did it so his painting wouldn't look so empty and minimalistic.

"It looks very good, considering you can't paint," you placed your head on his shoulder.

"I think we did pretty good," you smiled as you admired the paintings side by side.

"Yeah, we did,"

"Cut!" Camilla called out again.

"You guys did so well, now the only thing we have left is the outro, just say that you did this for Glamour and your names again yeah?" She explained and you both nodded your heads.

"Action!"

"Thanks for inviting us Glamour, it was a lot of fun," you smiled into the camera.

"Did you learn anything about each other, at least something?" someone called out from behind the camera.

You two looked at each other and grinned before you shook your heads.

"No, sorry, I know everything about this one," You poked Harry's cheek and he giggled at the action.

"So yeah, this was (y/n) (l/n)," Harry said.

"And Harry Styles," You smiled.

"See you sometime later," You both blew kisses into the camera, and the last "Cut!" was called out.

"We did it!" you smiled happily and Harry nodded.

"Do you need any more footage?" He called out to the crew and they called out a soft 'wait for a bit, we will check,'

Harry immediately tugged you into a hug and buried his face into your neck.

"Thank you for doing this with me, it was super fun," he mumbled as he peppered soft kisses around your throat. You squirmed at the feeling and cradled his head against you.

"Anything for you Harry, anything for you."

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I already love these two.

If you have time, please give me some feedback, it would be awesome to hear what I could better or change.

take care <3

#fanfiction #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #my writing

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caitas-cooing · 1 year

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I posted 33,812 times in 2022

That's 3,051 more posts than 2021!

418 posts created (1%)

33,394 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@caitas-cooing

@bibiana112

@dreamydiamond

@smallphoenix13

@mothmossghost

I tagged 2,775 of my posts in 2022

#zero escape - 178 posts

#shining nikki - 113 posts

#yeah - 91 posts

#coping tag - 81 posts

#actually autistic - 57 posts

#khdr spoilers - 49 posts

#good stim - 44 posts

#ask to tag - 42 posts

#ableism - 40 posts

#prev tags - 39 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#but it looked more ninir to me and i knew lilith was featured in the story that surrounded that outfit so i guessed ninir and got it right

My Top Posts in 2022:

The thing about kids that people don't understand is that they are almost always listening. Even if you think they aren't paying attention, even if you think they couldn't possibly care, they are probably listening and while a lot of it may go over their heads and there may be misunderstanding because of their inexperience with the world, they also know and understand a lot more than you think. They pick up on a lot, the things you think and feel about them, the things you say about celebrity crushes, and some other stuff that they might not see the full consequences for, but other adults who hear them tell the story will definitely be able to read between the lines and figure out what was actually said. Kids are smart and constantly learning. This goes double for disabled children. And so when I see things like the mom in that one autism speaks video talk about how she considered driving of a cliff with her daughter in the car right in front of said daughter I worry. When I see a mom post a video of her child having a meltdown and justify it by saying he's too low functioning to ever understand I worry. When I see self proclaimed autism parents talk about how much of a burden autism is on their lives I worry, because eventually those kids will figure out autism is the word that describes them, and realize that they are the burdens. Or maybe they realized it all along. And how much must it hurt to know that your own parents think of you that way. Be careful of the way you talk about your kids. They know. They always know

223 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

... everyday I get a little bit closer to snapping

483 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

I put the fun in executive dysfunction

650 notes - Posted May 2, 2022

The way people with "scary" mental health disorders are treated by society is scarier than the people who have those mental health disorders could ever be tbh

2,534 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Reblog this post if you are professionally diagnosed and you support informed self diagnosis and you hate people accusing others of faking disorders when they have no evidence to support that

4,515 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #There is something so funny to me about me reblogging from myself more than other blogs #What happens is I'll look for a specific post #And I won't be able to find it but I'll find other unrelated posts #And I'm like sure I'll reblog that again #Because I'm easily distracted by pretty much everything lol

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pettyprocrastination · 2 years

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Extra Whipped Cream

Pairing: Porn Star!Dieter Bravo x Reader

Chapters: 1/

Content warning: curses, slight sexual themes but no actual smut (yet).

Summary: Dieter finally sees you. You finally meet your shame face to face.

Word count: 2k Authors note: Holy SHIT I did not expect the first part of this fic to be so well received!!!! Thank you all so much!!!! It truly means the world to me and all the sweet messages and comments you all left is what gave me the energy to continue writing for our sweet sweet slutty man. And yes. there will be more.

Special thank you @madhyanas for constantly doing edits and seeing my random (this sentence. yes no?) and all of my lovely mutuals who listened to me ramble about this silly thing.

Tag list will be done in the reblog

Dieter couldn’t stop thinking about you.

It was silly. Embarrassing, really.

I mean, what could he call it? This giddy feeling he got in his chest when he strode into the cafe, damn near everyday for the past two weeks in hopes of seeing you.

What was it? A crush? He hardly knew you.

All he knew was your name from the tag on your apron. That you made his coffee perfect (because when the other barista did it, it still wasn’t sweet enough) and that you watched his porn.

And you were pretty.

Fuck, you were so pretty.

So much so that he found himself floundering like an idiot when he first met you. Stammering and fumbling with his money all because you were looking at him and his palms started sweating and he felt like a fucking highschooler again.

But you knew him. Or, his work, at least. To the point where you blurted out his name with such a chipper, albeit, rehearsed smile his heart stopped.

Now he’ll be honest, it stuck with him. Hell, for the rest of the day you were all he could think about. The pretty little barista who watched his dirty videos in secret. His thoughts ran rampant.

Did you watch them at night, hands sliding under the covers and volume low so nobody heard you? Did you imagine yourself there? Being touched by him? Being fucked by him?

What was your favorite?

Would you want him like that? Hard and fast? Or soft? Would you wind your hands in his hair and whimper his name? Would you leave hickies on his neck? Would you let him kiss you? Would you smile and giggle against his mouth as he holds you against him? “Mrow.”

Dieter pulled himself away from preening in the mirror to look back at the cat who was staring at him from atop his pillow.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” He looked at his reflection one final time, fussing with his hair before turning and fixing his shirt just in case he saw you. “Your dad is going crazy.”

The other baristas were beginning to know him by name, a sad little irony given that he came damn near everyday in hopes to see you. But he never asked them about you, or hung around in case you came in. God no, that was invasive. He would just take his coffee with a smile and then go on with the rest of the day with you tucked in the back of his brain.

Was it the healthiest option? No. He had a fudge brownie every day for the past week because of it and he was starting to worry about his impending dental bill from it.

“Have a good day, Dexter!”

How funny it was, the little sting of disappointment that weighed in his chest upon hearing his real name. How he wished it was his stage name, the name built from sex and money over the years, passing from your lips. He wanted to hear it again. And again. And again-

Dieter blinks.

“Sir… are you alright?” The barista was looking at him strangely. Somebody coughed behind him.

Fuck. He was still in line. Staring off into space like a fucking moron.

Nice going, dickhead.

“Yeah I’m… I’m fine. Sorry. I’ll just- go.”

He quickly turned, mumbling a rushed apology to the person waiting behind him.

Dieter opened the cafe door with one hand and brought the frappuccino up to his mouth in the other.

He recoiled and pulled the drink away, glowering at it with poorly hidden disgust.

Bitter. Why was it always bitter when they made it? Why was it only sweet from you?

Another day, another missed encounter. Dieter took another sip and sighed. Maybe he should look into getting a Tinder account.

Just as he reached his car, ring-clad fingers grazing the handle, an angry voice sailed through the air.

“Come on, come on, you stupid fucking car, just unlock! God fucking shit-”

As sure as the day was long, there you were. Fighting with the door of your car and spewing profanities.

Parked right next to him.

He cleared his throat and you whirled around, eyes wide as if you had been caught stealing.

A moment passed. You both stared at each other.

You waved. “Uh. Hi.” Shockingly enough, he seemed to be just as tongue tied as you were.

“Hey.”

It was almost jarring to him. To see you without our apron, despite how often he had painted the picture in his mind. Because now it was real. You were real. Your mussed hair, mouth open in shock and chest heaving, eyes wide and frantic, staring at him like a deer caught in headlights.

He takes a step back and realizes that he was a man staring down a woman in a parking lot. Alone.

Dieter frowned. Fuck. He had been so caught up in his own feelings, he didn’t think about how uncomfortable this must have been for you.

“Listen, if I'm overstepping—”

“I’m so sorry for embarrassing you the other day!”

“What?”

———-

You just missed Dexter- Dieter- fuck, him- by the skin of your teeth. Your shift had just ended and you were tugging on your jacket in the parking lot when you turned and saw him inside.

You were in the clear. Safe. Now all you had to do was get your ass in the car and go home and you would avoid yet another instance of embarrassing yourself in front of the porn star.

But instead, you stood there. You stood and watched him. Yes, watched, like some voyeuristic pervert as he steps into the already winding line of customers inside.

You could leave. You should leave. But there’s a moment where he looks around, peering over a patron's shoulder to see the front counter and a flash of disappointment when he sees who's working.

Was he looking for you? Had he gone in to see you?

He was dressed nice. The hoodie with fraying strings was replaced by a button up with an expressive pattern. When he reached up to scratch at his face, his rings glinted against the sun.

You knew you needed to stop staring. As he ordered his coffee, bobbed his head to the music playing. This was weird. Inappropriate. If you didn't move now then he may see you.

But what’s a few more seconds?

A few more seconds turn into two minutes. Two minutes turn into three and oh god the door is opening and he’s leaving.

You turn on your heel, sneakers slapping against the concrete and skidding to a stop in front of your car. Your hand grabs the handle and pulls but the door stays shut.

“Oh no no no no don’t do this not now—” A frantic stream of curses and pleas fly from your lips as you fight with the car door and tragically remember you had been putting your inspection off for about two months now when—

Dieter clears his throat from behind you, nearly scaring you right out of your skin. Slowly, you turn to face him.

You thought he looked good from far away. Now he was fucking hypnotic. The silk shirt was open, buttoned so low that a wide expanse of his chest was bare for you to see. Except bare wasn’t an apt description, given the curled chest hair that covered the exposed skin. A gold chain hung from his neck and your face grew hot when you realized you’ve seen him wearing it before. Swinging against his chest as his grips somebody’s hips with harsh growls of “fucking take it” fill your mind until it hits you that you’re staring at him without saying a single word.

You raise a hand.

“Uh. Hi.”

Dieter grins and raises his hand back. “Hey.”

You swallow.

Christ on a cross, don’t just stand there. say something.

say something. You both speak.

“Listen if I’m overstepping—” “I'm sorry for embarrassing you!”

Dieter stops, then looks at you as if you had grown a second head. “What?” “When you came in and I said your… your porn name.” Your voice became a hushed whisper on the word and he bit back a smile. “I mean I completely outed you to an entire building of people! You must have been humiliated and it's my fault.” He sets a hand on his hip. “So you think my job is something to be embarrassed of?” “No! Of course not!” you raise an octave in panic. “I mean it's good work, great work even!” “Is it now?”

You realize your admittance and draw your shoulders in, only to perk back up at the sound of his laughter.

“I’m just fucking with you.” He confesses. “It's no worry, really.” “Ah, right. I’m sure you're used to getting looks like that all the time.” He bites his tongue and you see a flash of silver in his mouth. A rush of heat settles low in your stomach and you shift under his gaze.

“Not the way you looked at me.” He was trying to kill you.

Dieter sighs, and pulls at his hair. “Honestly? I should be thanking you.”

“Thanking me?” You snort. “For what? Letting my coworkers know my porn preferences?”

He laughs. Smooth and deep and real in a way you never thought of him before.

“No actually.” He looks up and for a moment you see a flicker of nerves in his brown eyes. “For reminding this old man that he’s still got it.”

You speak before realizing it. He has that effect, oddly enough. A combination of jittering nerves that sets you on fire while also simmering into a feeling of… safety? No— comfort.

“Old is not the word that comes to mind for you.”

If this were fake, Dieter would have moved to you. A scene in a raunchy film with a script that was still laying in his room, filmed under soft lights with a crew standing just a few feet away. He would saunter over until his nose grazed your neck and you shuddered against him. He’d coo in your ear and settle his hands on your hips. “Oh yeah?” His hips would grind against yours and you would mewl. “Why don’t you tell me what came to mind, pretty girl?”

If this were fake, he would be bold. Sexual. Strong. All the things Dieter was.

But this wasn’t porn. This was real life.

Dieter wasn’t real. Dexter was.

“I’ll, uh—” His finger taps frantically against his thigh. “I’ll get out of your hair.”

He turns and you hear him mumble “fucking stupid” to himself before you call out to him. “You gonna be a regular now?”

Dexter stops and looks at you over his shoulder. He tries not to smile, he really does. But something about you just makes him so damn giddy.

“Would you be okay with that?” “I think I just might.” He nods. “You’ll be seeing more of me then.” You didn’t mean for it to come out, really. You just spoke without thinking, a common issue when you found yourself around him.

“I already have.” He doesn’t tease you for it. Thank God. He simply chuckles and turns with his drink raised in a salute of goodbye and a skip in his step.

For the rest of the day, he’s all you think of. His smile and his voice and the way he tilts his head with that grin that teeters right on the edge of being condescending in a way that makes you feel warm all over. You also think of his laugh, the way he taps out a rhythm on his leg when he gets nervous and how he seemed so excited to see you.

Dieter.

Dexter.

The names swirl in your head until they intertwine and you can’t pull them apart. You feel hot, legs twitching in traffic on the drive home.

Dieter.

Dexter.

Fuck.

When you get home, your clothes are shucked off and tossed into a corner of your room until all you're left in are panties and slip into bed. You don’t bother reaching for your phone. You don’t need it, not this time. There was no need to look his name up in an incognito browser, you simply think of him and your hand slowly slips down your stomach.

His smile.

His chest.

His hands.

His voice.

Your room becomes a choir of muffled gasps of a name who’s owner you only just met.

Somewhere, in a house far too big for one person. The man whose name you cry out lets himself fall apart to your smile.

#ewc #ewc tag #dieter bravo #dieter bravo x reader #i know its short im sorry yall #im hoping to god that i caught all the spelling errors but i jsut know the moment i post i'll find the stragglers

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shotorozu · 3 years

Text

you have people simping for you

characters : midoriya izuku, shinsou hitoshi, todoroki shouto

fic type : headcanons [fluff, kinda spicy in one part]

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, all might’s daughter reader in izuku and shouto’s part. (telekinetic quirk mentioned briefly)

notes : yeah so.. i’m still emptying my requests, SO TO THE ANON THAT REQUESTED DONT WORRY I’LL DO IT :)) also i didn’t post yesterday because it,, didn’t feel appropriate to be writing about anime characters, meanwhile someone’s life has been taken from them because of something they didn’t even do??

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

midoriya izuku

okay, so this is how things happened

you know on tiktok, some people make those “___ hits different here” videos

yeah, that’s your type of simp

in short— you blew up on tiktok and you didn’t even know.

does izuku have tiktok? tbh he doesn’t look like the type, but he’d have it for sure

but because everyone in the hero course is so busy, he rarely goes on it

but his fyp is full of all might for sure

anyway, he has some spare time— and you’re still washing up the plates from dinner and you begged him to rest

so, he’s scrolling, and he sees

you??

but the context was “all might’s daughter hits different here.” and its a clip of you from the sports festival just breathing

(it was you with the doja cat streets audio)

izuku was like 😳

he later discovers that you have an entire hashtag dedicated to you.

he’s always seen you as attractive but he wasn’t aware that you had an entire hashtag

he’s shook

so you walk in and he’s like 👁👁 looking at you like a million flashbacks are playing in his brain

and you look at his phone, and you realize it.

lowkey, he got jealous of the comments, and got a little down like a sad puppy

but he comes to realize that you’re his, and he knows you won’t trade him for anything else

(he posted one video flexing you, and he kept it up for an hour before he took it down. it got like.. 500k views)

shinsou hitoshi

kinda smug, kinda insecure

like yeah, you’re hot.

he’s definitely seen people eye you as you pass by them

and it’s priceless to see their reaction upon seeing your face for the first time.

people’s genuine reaction to seeing your pretty face makes him proud.

and he kinda teases you for it “you see that kitten? they’re drooling over you y’know.”

“shut up ‘toshi”

but.. did he know you had an entire side on tiktok? no.

he’d assume that’s a celebrity thing, but you know how this generation is like..

shinsou again, is on skater tiktok, so he’d probably stumble upon you somehow by accident

because his fyp is kinda full of pretty girls, but he always scrolls when he sees them, so don’t worry :))

clicking on your hashtag, he sees people literally simping over you catching your breath in the sports festival

and you just.. standing there

damn, they need to touch some grass

but ngl, you’re hot. the music makes you hotter, and the edits make you hotter

you’re just.. hot

he’s proud that people have finally recognized you, and there’s a mutual agreement that yes—

Y/N is a hottie

but!! is he a little worried you’ll leave him for someone else because of these simps? there are people constantly hitting you up

but oh boy, does shinsou need to know that he’s the only one you need

and he WILL duet one of those simp videos, showing you off.

todoroki shouto

is this how you feel like everyday?

i mean.. a lot of people simp for him too, he’s just.. not conscious of it.

being all might and endeavor’s child means something, and it means that you’ll probably appear in the media at least once.

you both casually cause some bi panic

shouto doesn’t have tiktok because.. why have tiktok when he has you, y’know?

he finds out when the bakusquad is staring at an edit of you

he’s a little confused as to why some stranger made an edit of you just.. sitting down

but!! it hits so much harder ngl

does he become a little protective because of these tiktoks? maybe.

he trusts you a lot, but.. grr.

at least now shouto knows how you feel whenever some fangirl simps over him openly

won’t really tell you about Y/N-tok or all might’s daughter tiktok as an entirely separate conversation.

but he’ll just bring it up one day while you’re rambling to him while cuddling

“you’re tiktok famous.”

“huh? i don’t even have a tiktok.” you’re not allowed to have a public account bc of your dad, so how are you famous on tiktok??

“you are though. a lot of people think you’re pretty.”

“oh really?”

“yeah. i think you’re beautiful. so i can’t be too mad at them.”

“too mad??” you ask, and he’ll just hide his face— expression bashful.

“i won’t leave you,” you laugh, peppering kisses on his cheek, “you’re a lot better than faceless people on the internet.”

will post a video of you, and he’ll be like 🧍they’re mine

and it’ll get 1.9M views

in short- shouto deals with it just fine, since you deal with shouto’s fangirls on a daily basis anyway.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing

do not plagiarize my work :))

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thesmokingguns · 3 years

Text

WAP Headcanon

Word Count:2726

WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18. THANK YOU.

Warning Part Two: There is a lot of sexual content behind the cut. Oral Sex, Sex, Degrading, Exhibitionism, Masturbation, Lots of swearing,

Summar Request:”i was wondering if you could write a motley crue headcannon of them with a fem s/o that got that WAP lol” I listened to WAP 700 times well writing this. I also made a playlist that you can find HERE

A/N: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO READS MY WRITING! I appreciate you all so much and just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you all sending me requests and talking to me about fandoms. You all make me so happy and I can’t even put into words how much I appreciate the reblogs, likes, and messages you all send me. Thank you!

Tag List: @ayablackwood @littlemisscare-all @thenobodies-inc @agroupiewhore

VINCE

“I could make you bust before I ever meet ya”

-You met Vince well working as a lifeguard the summer before college

-He literally was so obsessed with you that he went to the beach everyday for two weeks until you finally agreed to go out with him.

-Watching you climb up the lifeguard with your little red bath suit cut high so he can stare at your ass bouncing with each step

-He picks you up in his sports car and literally almost falls on his ass when you come out of the house with a sheer white dress and white lingerie on under it.

-Teasing him all night so he feels like he’s going to explode

-Sucking your finger well making eye contact with him

-Reaching out to push his blonde hair away from his face

-Touching him constantly, in innocent ways to build him up

-Complimenting his lips and running your fingers over them and pressing a thumb against his wet lower lip and then licking it and dragging your lower lip down

-The sexual tension is so high Vince thinks he’s going to cum as he drives you home

-Telling him you don’t sleep with men on the first date and not giving him a time for a second date

-”In the food chain, I'm the one that eat ya”

-He sends gifts all the time until you finally agree to go out with him again

-When he picks you up you’re wearing a fur jacket and a pair of high heels.

-”Take me to your house”

-Walking into his house and sliding out of the coat and letting it fall to the floor as you look over your naked shoulder.

-Vince has been with a ton of woman but you’re fucking demanding.

-You spread your legs pulling his blonde hair to your aching pussy pushing him down and watching him eat you like it’s a last meal

-He’s a clean eater, licking and sucking, using only his mouth to suck up your juices and suck your clit

- Keeping your heels on as you lay them over his shoulders laying back on bed

-Kissing your thighs after you cum and licking up your thighs tasting the wetness that leaked over them.

-Putting a condom on using your mouth

-Being on all fours, ass in the air, letting him go deep and hard as he fucks you

-The feeling of your wet pussy leaking over his balls making a slapping sound that is driving him crazy

-Loud and Vocal during sex, telling him how he’s fucking you so good. And Vince is eating it all up. He loves being praised and you’re stroking his ego like your pussy is stroking his cock.

-Switching positions so you can reverse cowgirl

-“If he fuck me and ask, "Whose is it?",When I ride the dick, I'ma spell my name”

-Vince loves watching the way your ass bounces and twirls on the top. He watches the way you pull up, lowering yourself on the tip of his cock and spinning down on his cock like you’re screwing it in tight.

-Skin slapping skin, wet slaps as you ride him, watching your pussy sliding out around his cock

-Telling him you’re going to cum again and Vince moving to fucking you with your legs bent over his shoulder so he can fuck you hard and deep

-Legs shaking, squeezing Vince as you cum around his cock

-Vince would be praising you as you came, so enamored with you and also feeling like he had reached some level of success

-His sweaty forehead pressed into your shoulder as he clings you you emptying inside

-You got what you wanted so you roll out of bed making yourself comfortable as you go take a shower, locking the door so you get your privacy. Completely throwing off this teddy bear of a man who loves cuddling and pillow talk after sex

-Coming out after your shower to a surprised Vince wondering why you were shutting him out after what he thought was great sex

-You tell Vince you’re calling a cab home and he’s surprised but you don’t sleep over guys' houses. But you know what you want, you got it and now it’s time to head home

-Vince is literally left speechless as he watches you put on your coat wondering if he’ll see you again or if he is going to have to keep stalking you at the beach

-“Will I see you again?”

-Shrugging as you get into a cab and giving him a coy smile before shutting the door and leaving.

-Calling him that night and letting him know you’re free tomorrow

MICK

-Everyone jokes that Mick is an old man but dude is seriously Daddy

-Like sugar daddy and gives you daddy dick

- “Pay my tuition just to kiss me”

- Always showering and lavishing you with attention when you meet up

-But whenever you meet up you know he is going to want too hook up in public

-He gets so horny knowing you can get caught and you do little things to make him go crazy

-Like wearing a little collar, that goes to the bondage set he bought, out to brunch with him

-Or when you go out you wear sheer shirts so he can see the outline of your brown nipples

-Sunday Brunch was your weekly meeting with Daddy Mars

-You’re outside, the sun shining on your skin. Sunglasses over your eyes when you feel lips on yours

-Mick is always just looking at you, admiring you.

-You’re wearing this crop top white peasant blouse that ties in the front and a denim skirt

-“I don't cook, I don't clean, But let me tell you how I got this ring”

-You met Mick at a bar one night with your friends. He bought drinks for you all night, and you made him laugh with your witty one liners. He had asked to see you again and that’s how Brunch started. He knew he was older than you but when he met you he had proposed helping you with school fees and you spending Sundays with him.

- Your foot slipped out of the sandal running along the inside of his thigh

-His eyes are dancing, loving how you know what he wants

-As you’re eating the sky is turning dark, warning of a summer rainstorm.

-the sky breaks open after Mick pays and you expect him to take you to the car to have a quickie or go to his house but he’s leading you over to the beach.

-As much as you like to tease him you hadn’t expected for it to rain so your thin shirt is completely translucent against your skin

-“Sit on the wall.”

-He sinks into the sand in front of you, tossing his jacket next to you, rolling up your wet denim skirt. Legs over his legs as he tasted you

-“Make it cream, make me scream,Out in public, make a scene”

-Gripling the concrete wall, he’s in front of you lapping at your clit as his fingers plunge into your wetness. Fingers working you with the same precision he plays a guitar. Curling into your core tapping the g-spot

-Head thrown back, rain water flowing down over you

-“FUCK DADDY!”

-People are driving by wondering what the hell you’re doing out in the rain because they can’t see Mick working better. Your legs are shaking as he holds you in place, fucking your wet pussy with his fingers, toying with your clit witb his tongue.

-“I’m going to cum”

-Mick moved a little, fingers going into overdrive as he spread you further watching as you squirt.

-Kissing your thighs as you try to breathe again after he just dragged out a super strong orgasm from you.

-Wrapping his jacket around you as you go to his car

-He pulls up to your dorms and slips some cash into the jacket pocket.

-“See you next week, baby.”

NIKKI

-“He bought a phone just for pictures, Of this wet-ass pussy (click, click, click)”

-Nikki just bought a new video camera and you’re going to be the star of his film.

-He has you posed, sitting on the floor with knees bent and legs spread naked so he could video you touching yourself

-You’re looking at the camera, not shy as your hand dips lower. You take your fingers in a V splitting your lips to reveal the juicy wetness inside your aching cunt

-Nikki audibly groans seeing the sticky sweetness in a glistening pattern across you

-It’s obvious he wants to touch you but he’s trying to record all of this.

-Holding your lips apart you take a free hand swiping a finger over your wetness and holding it out for Nikki to taste. His mouth is around your fingers in an eager moan as he licks them clean

-The way he licked your fingers just had you wanting more

-You love performing for Nikki and driving him crazy

-Rubbing your wet fingers over your nipples, soft moans that cause him to curse under his breath

-Using your fingers to rub your clit and tugging your nipples well looking at him

-Nikki takes out his cock, stroking it as he’s watching you.

-You open your mouth, tongue coming out as an invitation

-He’s setting down the camera at an angle, gripping your head as his cock slides into your mouth

-”I don't wanna spit, I wanna gulp,I wanna gag, I wanna choke, I want you to touch that lil' dangly thing, That swing in the back of my throat”

-He’s gripping your hair, compliments like “fuck baby” “so good” “take it all” and deep groans of appreciate coming from him. You’re drooling, tongue lapping to stroke every inch of him as he’s holding himself all the way in your throat. You feel your spit sliding out of your mouth, covering his balls as Wet gurgles of pleasure come from you around his cock

-Nikki tilts your chin up, “Eyes on me.” You look up, eyes watering and mascara leaking down your face from not being able to breath but you put on your big eyes good girl act

-“I’m going to paint your face in my cum, Princess.”

- Pulling out of your mouth and shooting his hot cum across your face, licking your lips to taste him as he grunts out as he cums.

-“Stay like that I want a picture”

-Nikki shuts off the video camera and starts taking Polaroids of you covered in his cum, smiling like the little whore you are

-He’s posing you, and giving you a towel to clean your face as he starts taking pictures of you on your hands and knees ass in the air

-“You’re still so wet for me.”

-You get on your back, Nikki covering you with his body, his lips hovering above yours. Your heart beating with anticipation and you whisper out a “Please” the smug smirk of satisfaction is illuminating his face.

-Nikki slides into you, filling you until you’re stretched almost uncomfortably around him

-Deep strokes making you see fucking stars as he holds your hips, letting you wrap your legs around him, and he fucks you

-”Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes”

-Your mouth is hanging open and you go to lick your bottom lip and he spits in your mouth, taking you off guard at the intimacy and

-You’re looking up, open mouthed and horny shocked that he did that.

-“Treating my princess like a whore. “

- You nod your head to let him know you liked it and you’re okay with it. The way your nipples hardened and you squeezed around him gave him the confirmation you were his little whore.

-Your wetness was coating not only you but Nikki’s thigh as it slipped from your body

-You opened your mouth to tell him you were going to cum but it was shut off by his lips slamming into yours. He knew our tell tale signs. Your arms holding onto him, soft mons coming out as you pushed into him, writhing in your orgasm

-”I’m going to fill you up, Princess.”

-Your head was nodding, his lips easing you with kisses he peppered on your skin, the way his pants met your ears before the groan and you knew he had finished.

-You lay on the floor for a moment well you both get your breath back. And then you head to the shower

-Nikki helps you clean up, his hands gentle on your shoulders.

-”You were so wet today, Princess. I guess you like being in front of the camera”

-Just hearing him says that just gets you started all over again and you want him again

Tommy

-”Big D stand for big demeanor”

-Can not keep his hands off of you

-You sit down and he’s either next to you on the couch of he’s behind you reaching ove of his freakishly long arms over to hold your shoulder

-This man loves you and is always ready to go

-At a show, he’s making eyes at you backstage before the show and you know exactly what he wants from you

-Standing next to a table talking to someone you feel his hands on your back squeezing a hip as he leans in to whisper to you, “Come with me”

-He pulls you into a dressing room and everyone knows exactly what you tw are about to do.

-Tommy is quick to pull up your skirt and he’s dropping to his knees in front of you, tugging your panties to the side and pulling a leg over his shoulder

-He loves eating pussy, this man loves sliding his tongue into your pussy, swirling his tongue around to get your taste on his tongue. His fingers pinch your clut rolling it in tiny circles as his tongue fucks you in little thrusts and than laps hungirly

-”Fucking love the taste of you, babe. You’re so sweet.”

-You feel like you’re going to collapse, your thighs are trembling and you want to cum with him inside you

-”Tommy, fuck me. Stop fooling around.”

-Do not need to tell this man twice. Very good listener.

-”I want you to park that big Mack truck, Right in this little garage”

-Tommy has you bent over the couch before you can even realize what is happening, his cock teasing your entrance, sliding the tip in and pulling out. Inch by inch he goes in and comes out until your legs are shaking, needing all of him inside of you.

-He knows there isn’t a lot of time so he’s slamming into you, his bare cock filling you after his teasing and groaning Y/N in appreciation.

-Your pussy squeezes against him, making the drummer curse in surprise

-He’s wrapping your hand around his hair pulling you so your back is arched and he can really slam into you

-Your ass is slapping against him with each thrust and you’re meeting him

-”Fuck babe, you’re so wet. Your thighs are like a fucking slip and slide”

-Tommy is more vocal during sex than you. He’s always praising your body, telling you how hot he thinks you are, telling you exactly what he likes, making little groans of pleasure when you clamp down on his cock, and just really making the whole thing feel good.

-”Stop squeezing me, I’m not going to be able to pull out if your pussy keeps sucking me in.” He warns you as you bounce back against his cock

-Tommy wants you to cum, you can tell he can’t hold on much longer

-His fingers reach around pressing your clit and after a few touches you let go against him, falling forward with a shudder

-Making you cum just gets this man even more fucking excited. He’s pushing deep into you, getting a sweat appear

-He’s pulling out, jerking his cock in fierce needy motions, shooting his load over your ass in white stringy patterns. Slapping your ass playfully

“Quick, jump out 'fore you let it get inside of me “

-After his boner brain goes away and he can think like a normal person again he’s helping you clean up.

-All about aftercare and making sure that you’re okay

“I said, certified freak, Seven days a week, Wet-ass pussy, make that pull out game weak”

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petersasteria · 3 years

Text

jealousy, jealousy || tom holland

sour masterlist || tom || sour taglist

906 words w: it's fucked up and it's inspired by some personal shit that i'm going thru, i mention some psycho shit italics are lyrics + important note at the end.

* * * *

Retweets.

Likes.

Reacts.

Shares.

Views.

Reblogs.

Followers.

Those are the main ingredients for relapsing in our insecurities. Those things make us drown in jealousy and anger. We claim that we’re happy for other people, but it’s hard to be happy for them if they get the things that YOU want. It feels unfair and it feels like being happy for them is rubbing salt in the wound.

We all have our winning moments, but sometimes we feel like our own winning moments aren’t enough to make us happy. So, when will we finally be happy? When we get a million followers? When we get a million likes, reblogs, and retweets? A billion views until it goes viral? Billions of shares until the app crashes? Truth is, we don’t know. We don’t know until we get there.

You knew that it was unhealthy for you to be jealous of some girl, but you were supposed to be in her place. The title of being Tom’s girlfriend is supposed to be and is rightfully yours. Somehow, everything became fucked up and Tom ended up with some other girl who clearly wasn’t you. You can’t help but feel as if the universe sabotaged you when in reality, Tom just met her and after a few dates, they’re now going steady. The universe had nothing to do with it.

Everyday, you keep refreshing her Instagram profile just to see if she posted a new picture or video or an Instagram story. You knew you shouldn’t do that, but you couldn’t help it. You wanted to be happy for Tom, but he was supposed to be happy with you.

She was perfect. She had perfect teeth, perfect sense of style, perfect hair, she’s basically Little Miss Perfect and it’s actually sickening to think about it constantly. Deep down you knew you were just as pretty and just as perfect because fuck society and their standards, but you can’t let your thoughts go. You were sick of being yourself because you were convinced that you weren’t fun or interesting. You wanted to be her and it became an obsession.

You would always compare yourself to her and you would think about her often. Whenever you pick out an outfit, you’d always ask yourself if it’s something she’d wear. If the answer is no, you’d put the outfit back and look for another one. It was so unhealthy and everyone was worried about you. Tom didn’t know that this was going on, but everyone else noticed how weird you were being whenever Tom and his girlfriend were around.

“She went to Brazil with her friends recently. Tell them, babe!” Tom excitedly nudged her before she told her amazing vacation story. You wanted to roll your eyes, but you didn’t want everyone to see that. She was talking about the vintage clothes she bought there and her phone was passed around for everyone to see her photos in Brazil. Admittedly, you thought you were crazy for thinking these things. You should be happy for her and Tom, but it was difficult.

They say we shouldn’t bring down someone during their winning season because we don’t know how much they lost in their losing season. As much as you believed in that, you can’t help but feel that her win is your loss. Even though it’s not true, you still thought that way. You were tearing yourself apart over someone who wanted to be your friend, but your jealousy was hindering you from doing so.

You wanted to be her so bad that you swore to yourself that if you were a psycho, you’d probably wear her skin just to be her for at least a day. The only thing stopping you from doing so is the fact that you’re not a psycho and you’re a good person. Technically, you were capable of skinning someone alive and wearing their skin, but you choose not to listen to the call of the void. It would wreck you if you did.

It’s karaoke night and everyone was there. To get this off your chest, you decided to sing ‘jealousy, jealousy’ by Olivia Rodrigo. When you sang the bridge, you meant every word. Only Harry seemed to catch on as he listened intently.

All your friends are so cool, you go out every night

In your daddy’s nice car, yeah you’re livin’ the life

Go a pretty face, a pretty boyfriend, too

I wanna be you so bad and I don’t even know you

All I see is what I should be

Happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy

All I see is what I should be

I’m losin’ it, all I get’s jealousy, jealousy

When the song was over, everyone clapped and told you that you sounded really good. “Wow, I didn’t know you could sing like that, Y/N! You sound really good.” She smiled brightly at you. “I’m jealous. I wish I could sing like you.”

You wanted to tell her that you were jealous of her too because she got the man of your dreams, but you took the compliment because for once in your life, someone you’re jealous of is jealous of YOU. That’s so fucking rare and it doesn’t happen to everyone. For once in your life, you had the upper hand and it made you happy. Genuinely happy. In this round, you were finally better than her.

You stared at her and grinned, “Thanks.”

* * * *

i apologize to the writers in this site who im jealous of. there's so many of you, but i want you all to know that im sorry for feeling so jealous and insecure of my own shit that i let it get in the way of getting along with you. im sorry for cutting people off all bc i got consumed by jealousy and im sorry for being an asshole and i understand if the friends i used to have here won't want to talk to me anymore. it's all my fault and i'd be the cause of my own death, i swear. anyway, i wont tag any of you bc i want to avoid stirring shit up and also, none of you will see or read this. i hope you're all okay and i wish you guys everything good in this world. im sick of feeling this way. i need therapy.

to my friends @blueleatherbag @justasmisunderstoodasloki @hjoficrecs @allyz, i want to thank u for being super supportive and thank u for staying by my side when everything was rough. i love all three of you and im sorry if i dont say it enough.

𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @celestialholland @alinastarkrovs @piscesparker @prancerrparkerr @spideyspeaches @givebuckyhisplumsnow @blueleatherbag @theonly1outof-a-billion @hollandbroz-n-haz @starlight-starks @webmeupspiderdaddy @studiesinspanish @bi-lmg @minejungwoo @blossomhollands @markhyucksmells @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @simonsbluee @itszulli

#tom holland #tom holland blurbs #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #sour album #petersasteria #k's works #tom holland angst

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cobalts-corner · 2 years

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I posted 283 times in 2021

191 posts created (67%)

92 posts reblogged (33%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.5 posts.

I added 281 tags in 2021

#the ascendance series - 123 posts

#the ascendance trilogy - 38 posts

#jaron - 22 posts

#tobias - 17 posts

#ascendance month 2021 - 16 posts

#the runaway king - 15 posts

#the captive kingdom - 14 posts

#ascendance trilogy - 13 posts

#ascendance series - 12 posts

#fanfiction - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 118 characters

#the most spoofy thing ive ever written is probably on gacha life the hated chuld who is the lost hybrid demon princess

My Top Posts in 2021

Wait so you and @h0n3yd3w know each other irl??

Yup lol-

21 notes • Posted 2021-09-01 03:05:19 GMT

The False Prince School Project I Had To Do...

I got into the ascendance series because my class was reading The False Prince as a read aloud. We would read like 2 chapters everyday and then have to answer questions about it.

I was VERY interested in the book after Latemer died. DARK, I know, I was just happy we were reading a darker books now that we were getting older. The funny thing is, my teacher made like the whole class read one page of the book for some reason I have no idea why lol. I read the page where Latemer died and I was HOOKED.

I took the book home, and read it. Immediately after finishing I begged my mother to get me the whole trilogy. I finished the Runaway King in one night and my sleep schedule was destroyed. No regrets.

When my class finished The False Prince I was just starting The Captive Kingdom.

After all of our read alouds, we always had to write an essay on the book, but for this book our teacher decided to give us literal FREE RANGE ON THIS PROECT.

We could literally do these:

Minecraft build of Farthenwood

Make memes

Comic strips

Paintings of scenes/ characters

PRETTY MUCH WRITE A FANFICTION

SOOOO MANY MOREE

Most people did the Minecraft builds, and they were high quality ngl

Before The Ascendance Series, I was obsessed with Wings of Fire, by Tui T. Sutherland and I had been working on an over simplified summary of my favorite book of the series, sadly all the files were lost and it was never completed. But then I had an idea.

Before the project was even announced I was thinking about doing an oversimplified summary of the false prince. Pretty much it would be a spoof video explaining the major parts in the books, with bad jokes and me and my brother purposefully doing bad voices acting for the characters. For example, I gave Conner a squeaky high pitched voice because that's what he deserves. It would kind of be an animatic with little animation.

We had so much freedom with this project it was insane. The day after these projects were announced, I was constantly thinking about what to do. Until I realized I could do the summary for my project.

So during social studies I was sketching out character designs, problem was, I only had one week (due date was Friday, it was Monday) to do it, and my brother (who was doing the project with me) couldn’t help with production because he had no clue how to edit videos, he was just doing some voices of characters. I was on a time crunch

Monday

During social studies (I was supposed to be writing about Ancient Egyptian daily life but whatever) I sketched out all the characters, I would post the sketches here but my phone is broken and the picture is on my phone, thankfully I dm’d the final drawings to my bro.

My ELA teacher let us have our phones in class to work on it, me and my brother started writing the script.

Tuesday

Finalizing the character design and finishing up the script. Started working on the actual video

For example, this would be one of the finished copies of a character (Sage) ofc i gave him a green shirt ok-

Wednesday

This is when I realized I probably couldn’t do all 54 chapters of the novel. So I decided that I would only do half of the book (27 chapters)

Thursday

Final day to work on the project. I couldn’t finish it during the ELA period so I turned on some dream speed run music and I spent like 2 hours working on it at my house.

I added sound effects, did the voice lines with my brother and finished. My worst fear while exporting it, that it would glitch out and my class would be looking at a black screen for six minutes straight. LUCKILY It worked and.... I would have to post it to YouTube and my CLASS would know my channel—ANYWAYS I emailed the video to my teacher.

Friday (PRESENTATION DAY!!!)

See the full post

23 notes • Posted 2021-06-19 00:13:02 GMT

Your header is a freaking mood

AHAAJAHDGSHSJJSJDD Honeydew contributed a little bit to it, but I made all thr art besides the hot squidward Jaron thing

Full image:

23 notes • Posted 2021-09-08 19:34:28 GMT

"I planted the flowers for you, but they're already dying. You know why? Because they're in bad soil. They don't belong here and neither do you. Go look at them and you'll see your own future."

Well here's some Imogen fanart I made-

27 notes • Posted 2021-07-17 18:03:18 GMT

This is random but am I the only one confused about the eckbert coat of arms.

I’m probably am stupid and forgot but like huygtfryguhiokp

33 notes • Posted 2021-07-01 03:32:12 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #WHY THE ECKBERT COAT OF ARMS ONE IM GONNA CRY NOOOO

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sixcalibur · 3 years

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1. Why did you choose your url? Because I wanted a Gloryhammer url badly. My urls are usually always song titles

2. Any side blogs? Just my first url saved and an old Artblog. I can't even draw.

But yeah I forgot access to those blogs.

3. How long have you been on tumblr? Since 2011

4. Do you have a queue tag? Nope. Haven't had the need for one

5. Why did you start this blog in the first place? I heard from someone back on livejournal that tumblr was a good place for posting gifs and gif sets. So I came here

6. Why did you choose your icon? It's a photo of me. I don't exactly know why I one day decided to use my face as an icon. Maybe to not seem like just a blog for one thing? I assume that whenever someone has a certain person/character on their icon, that they are a blog for that thing only or something.

I actually think it was a mistake to choose your own face as icon, because I think it attracts more bots and weirdos than actual people who like your content.

7. Why did you choose your header? I try to make it accurate to whatever I'm currently really into just like it was with my icon. But this also constantly changes. It's a Screenshot of a Music Video at the moment, and I just made it pink because that is my color.

I once tried to make a header with the most things I like/post but it looked too messy so I gave up.

8. How many mutuals do you have? Over 90 ( yes I tried to count but lost track)

9. How many followers do you have? 764 and this number constantly changes because I keep blocking the obvious bots and then sometimes it seems as if some people unfollow as well

10. How many do you follow? 491

11. Have you ever made a shitpost?My text posts probably are all a shitposts aren’t they? and my tags in general are shitpost worthy. I feel so at least

12. How often do you use tumblr a day?

I try to use it everyday at least once, but boredom often brings me back more than once when I have time that is

13. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?No. I did block some blogs back then though, because they were sort of hate blogs for Singers/Bands and I couldn't stand them dissing my favs because I'm bitter

14. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?They make me nervous and stress me out actually.

15. Do you like tag games? Yes!

16. Do you like ask games?I absolutely do. But I rarely get asked anything, especially not questions to get to know me I think. This just proves how uninteresting I seem to be.

17. Which mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?Is this even still a thing? Aren't we all here to just have fun or something

18. Do you have a crush on a mutual? Nope

#text #about me #I found this and thought it's interesting #I'm forcing info about me and my blog on you lol #man since 2011 ..I'm so old #but I still remember how tiny the gif limit was here back then #all old gifs of mine looked so bad

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saltykong · 4 years

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Hello All! ❁ I hope you have been well and that you have been staying safe~ This is going to be one LONG message, but I hope it reaches you ♥

I started this Tumblr blog in the height of my struggles in life. Not knowing what I wanted to do, failing at what I thought I was meant to do, and even finding myself becoming more lonesome with no way out. That is when KPOP came in. I think it’s safe to say many of us came to KPOP whether we were in a similar internal struggle or even wanted to escape to something that sounded and felt new to what we knew growing up. That is exactly what it was for me. KPOP was used as a means of escape from the troubles I was having. Through those troubles, I met VIXX. These six boys, having a sound like no other. Their concepts, instrumentals, outfits, all of it was always heavily in-tune with their theme, creating some of the most amazing discography, music videos and stages I have ever seen. VIXX aren’t concept kings for nothing. In that, my bias became Hongbin. A sassy, and sometimes blunt but well-meaning individual that was, unfortunately, often ignored by his company on his musical talents. Instead he was placed in the box of, “visuals.” This isn’t a bad thing but to him, he wanted to be more than just a “face.” He was also the least popular and most ignored member when I joined the fandom. But he didn’t let this stop him and continually pushed to be seen. It was this determination and drive that I wanted to support. Hongbin was the underdog and in my own struggles, I wanted to be one too. I created what can jokingly be called a “shrine” to my comfort kpop boy. I wanted him to be seen more by the fandom in someway and so I picked up learning to make gifs, understanding Photoshop, and even learning basic HTML. In fact, because of this blog, I found a love and passion for web development and coding. It was something I liked to do, even if I wasn’t that good at it. It was hard but I was able to switch gears from a Biology degree to one that was Computer Science focused, despite many in my life saying that wasn’t possible. With that, I found a new path with new struggles but I persevered through it, just as Hongbin had been doing with each new single and album. 2019 was arguably Hongbin’s year. Coming off from the high that was the Eau de VIXX album and Scentist single, Hongbin started to stream on Twitch because he loves video games and wanted to share that. He also was in a drama and on a variety show. Not to mention that he saved Summer 2019 with “COOL LOVE,” a collaborative effort with MONSTA X’s Hyungwon. I wanted 2019 to be my year as well and worked hard at it. Simultaneously, I created projects, graduated university with a CS degree and got a job within the first three months. I had been fortunate in my endeavors. But with more responsibilities, this blog in recent years has been lacking content. I haven’t made anything on here in two years and I feel bad about that. Every time I want to come back, I don’t ever have a drive to do it. There may be a chance that I feel like I’ve outgrown Tumblr. I apologize for thinking like this. Now let’s talk about what has happened in recent months. Hongbin, yet again, found himself in a messy situation. There is a cycle when it comes to Hongbin where he will do something that is unfavorable, he will leave on hiatus, and then he will comeback. Hongbin stans will know, we go MONTHS without hearing from him or seeing him. It’s an unfortunate situation to be in but I truly believe Hongbin stans are some of the strongest people in this fandom because of it. This recent situation was not what we were expecting. Hongbin ended up in a bad situation again and had been gone since March. He finally popped up again two weeks ago, much to everyones surprise. This was a moment of happiness that was short lived due to the following news that arrived. Hongbin would be leaving VIXX. It feels unnatural to even be typing that sentence but here we are. I don’t know what happened to come to this decision but I felt fatigued from that news. I couldn’t concentrate on work, I talked to everyone about how I was feeling, and even took a brief hiatus from social media. It seems dramatic to feel like this about someone I don’t know but again, he is the reason I worked as hard as I did to be were I am. I’m sure many of you understand this emotion. I came to the resolution that, although it hurts, if Jellyfish wasn’t going to help him or promote him, it was probably best he leaves. He would definitely become popular on Twitch. But the moment I had resolved that, he came in with more news that would break the wall. He would be enlisting as early as today, August 17-18th 2020. This one did not hurt as much because I believed it would be best he go early to get it out of the way. Him leaving VIXX was unseen however. Hongbin stans have had it the hardest, I hope you all, even non-Bean stans, are taking care of yourselves and doing your best to stay positive. I guess with this extremely long note I wanted to say that I don’t think I will be active on this blog for a while. I’m not on Tumblr everyday anymore and with Hongbin leaving VIXX, content won’t be as easily available or gif-able. I’ve grown a little tired as well and I truly don’t think I have enough space in my computer anyways. I will leave my blog open so that if anyone wants to see some interesting gifsets with Hongbin or even if a new baby STARLIGHT comes across content or is seeking it, it’s there. The only thing I hope people can protect my gifs from being stolen. Many gif-makers have this issue and I’m not any special to be asking of this but I don’t think people understand how long and arduous the process to create them are. We sacrifice a lot of computer space and run our systems hard to start up our programs to make them. Not to mention we hunt for videos constantly and even sacrifice sleep to be able to get performances live sometimes. Then there is the compliance with Tumblrs gif limits to take into account. Some times there is a lack of creativity or individualism in content, so we constantly brainstorm to give the fandom something fresh for their own blogs. It’s extremely tedious to make them but the satisfaction of not only creating them, but having people interact with them and share them, makes the process worth it. You don’t know, but every single person that reblogs my gifs, I tend to go to that persons page to look at their interests and read their tags. Thank you to those that write in the tags of my posts, I find enjoyment from reading them. If I can say, I trust my gifs with STARLIGHT fandom, please don’t let them be stolen or used unnecessarily. This is my gift to you. ❤ As for gif-making, the one thing I regret is that I didn’t finish a particular series I was working on. That doesn’t mean I won’t come back to finish it however, just not right at this moment. As for mutuals, much of them migrated off the platform at the same time as me. But I just want to thank them and the STARLIGHTS who were especially close to me and lent an ear when all I wanted to do was talk about Hongbin. I’ve made some of the greatest friends through VIXX. Thank you for being there. The VIXX fandom gave me something to work for, to look forward to, and what could be improved. Coming on to Tumblr after so long, I am so happy that my efforts and the efforts of other blogs that were there when I was, made more people become Hongbin fans and even birthed new and talented gif-makers. Thank you for being the next bunch to push it forward. Lastly, thank you to all the people that follow me. I did my best to interact with all of you as much as I could, and even now, thank you for supporting my work. You are the reason I do what I do, and I hope it inspires you in some way too. I wish Hongbin a safe military stint and hope he comes back with a fresh and new perspective on what he wants to do. Thank you Hongbin for what you have inspired me and others to do. You can now follow me on Twitter if you still want to see what I’m up to, there are changes coming there as well but I hope you do follow. I will always support VIXX, even as a five-man group but, VIXX will always be SIX to me. Thank you for everything, I hope to come back to this blog one day to create again.

#personal #this is LONG omggg but its important #sorry if it feels a bit off here and there i suck at writing LOL

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tweeterbugkayla · 4 years

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If there’s anyone who’s dealing with stress/anxiety during this hard time that our world is going through, this is for them and you didn’t stumble across this accidentally. The universe has made this appear to you for a reason. I hope this will help at least someone who’s been overwhelmed by everything and can use some of these techniques in your everyday routine. Reblog/share or tag anyone who needs this!

Everyday when you wake up set the intention it will be a good day. Just realize it’s a new fresh day and nothing will ruin it for you because your intention on it being a good day will play out to it being the best day. Feel it’s a new day and yesterday is the past. It’s gone.

Immediately after you set the intention it’s a new day and it’s gonna be a good one, just for a second think of 1 thing you’re grateful for whether it be just you waking up to see another day, family, pets, roof over your head, the bed you slept in, food, wifi. Anything! Feel it.

Once you get up, go have a glass of water & take vitamins (Multi-vitamins are good.) Instead of coffee that can make you anxious, have a cup of hot tea. (Green, Chai, Lavender, lemon & ginger, black, white) There’s more benefits! It’s calming and healthy for your mind & body.

Now if there’s one thing at all you take from this, let this be it! It’s scientifically proven that delta/beta sound waves and frequencies can effect the mind & body. 432 hz meditation music is so helpful for stress and anxiety. There’s something for everything, healing, stress, sleep, positive energy, cleansing and so much! Use this! https://youtu.be/owVazx83hcc

youtube

While you’re listening to positive music to help your vibrations and drinking hot tea, this is the time I recommend getting out a notebook and making a gratitude list. Write down any and everything you’re grateful for. Having gratitude brings you abundance. Focus on what you have now rather than what you don’t have. “If you focus on what you don’t have instead of what you already have, you’ll never have enough” - Oprah

Take the time right after to feel everything you’re grateful for and meditate. Doesn’t matter how long. Take deep breaths then clear your mind. The apps Headspace & Calm can guide you. There’s also guided meditations for anything on youtube. Crystals also help if you have them. Count 10 of your breaths then start again. Focus on your breathing. Remember. You’re not your thoughts. Imagine a river in your mind flowing and your watching each thought you have go down the stream. Instead of engaging in the thought, just let it go.

A personal thing I always do after meditation is pray/manifest. The reason being is my mind is cleared and my energy is at the strongest point for my message to be delivered to my guardian angels. I can think clearly about what it is I’m asking God/Universe for without unfocusing and they can hear me clearly. Think of it as singles you’re trying to send someone. You can think a sentence in your mind but if you feel it in your heart and inner core, you’re going to be putting off singles of that can be sensed. Kind of like how your pet can sense if you’re happy or not. Or even your best friend or partner. No one can read your mind, but they can most definitely tell when you’re feeling a certain way. It’s the same kind of energy you want to give out into the universe so your prayers can speak for themselves. The way you feel about things, shows how things mean to you and that’s what’s important.

A good thing that also helps after meditation is yoga. It’s a lot of breathing exercises while stretching your body. Your mind isn’t wondering off in the distance because you’re too busy focusing on breathing and stretching at the same time. You have to really be present. You can look up yoga for beginners for 5 minutes if you’re like me and never tried anything like it before. Surprisingly it’s a lot harder than it looks when you actually dive into it. There’s also 30 day challenges and if you have any yoga clothes stores around you, check to see if they do classes. Look into your community to see if any yoga groups have any sessions you can attend. Great way to meet people who are on the same journey or have been through similar things!

After yoga I keep track of everything I’ve done in a notebook. I write down how long I’ve meditated/yoga and if I had any thoughts that distracted me during it & how I felt afterwards. It helps me think about why I had those thoughts interrupt and what I should do.

Throughout my day I’ll sometimes carry around a crystal with me depending on my mood and what I feel I need. You can research different meanings for them but they’re definitely helpful. If my mind begins to wonder I’ll stop myself and say positive affirmations about myself.

If you’re really having a day and it just feels like nothing you do is working, write down as many things about yourself that you love. Literally rewire your subconscious self-beliefs into believing you love yourself 100 percent. Even if you might think you don’t like something about yourself, write that love it anyways. This is still an everyday journey for myself personally because I may not like certain features about myself but I remind myself at least I have this body to carry my soul and life around into the world. It’s a journey that everyday you have to remember to tell yourself positive things. Fill up an entire page of positive affirmations. Self love is key. Your mind really listens to what you say about yourself. If you constantly tell yourself over and over “I’m so gross, I’m sick, I’m disgusting etc.” your body is going to respond to that message and make you start to feel sick. But if you’re loving and caring to yourself and say “I am healthy, I’m beautiful, I feel so amazing” then you’re gonna feel that way. Start with “I ams” I am beautiful, I am smart, I am abundant, I am healthy, I am grateful and so on. You can even go from head to toe and say you love every inch of each body part. There’s also helpful positive affirmations guided videos on YouTube.

At night time before you go to bed, write down in a journal how your day went and literally just let go and write about anything. No one will see it. It’s just you and your journal. But write. I write about my day and my prayers for the night. I’ve been writing in the journals that @taylorswift attached to the Lover booklets. She’s a very successful woman and guess what, she wrote in journals since she was a little girl. It’s so therapeutic to just let out how you feel on the pages of a book instead of hitting send on that tweet that you might end up deleting because you don’t want people to see how so and so at work hurt your feelings.

I can’t tell you how much this routine has changed my life. It can help yours too. I promise. Try this routine for a month and see how it changes your life, & mindset about yourself. Do your research. There’s so much that’s available to you on these topics. Read self help books like “You Are A Bassass” make vision boards of your dreams and goals. Listen to podcasts. Watch videos like Lavendaire, Isabel Palacios and Leeor! Anything with Oprah talking about her spirituality journey is so inspiring. I even watched “A Wrinkle In Time” because of her.

There’s many other ways that help like working out, coloring, painting, clean, doing your own nails, playing with pets, spending time with family, take baths, have a self care spa day. You can actually get L-Theanine vitamins for stress now, Olley has Goodbye stress gummies. I really hope some of this helps someone. If anyone has any questions please reach out to me. It’s definitely a journey we’re all going through and all we can do is take it one day at a time and continue to move forward with our lives. Always here. ❤️

Also wanted to add some films I’ve watched on Netflix that’s helpful and could help someone too. Healing, The Secret and anything to do with Yoga. Also if anyone has any tips or advice or suggestions I would appreciate them! 😊❤️

Share this with your friends who might find this helpful. ❤️

- Kayla 💗

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little-merry-go-round · 4 years

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There’s a lot of shit that was bothering me lately and i need to get it out of my system. I understand a lot of you don’t wanna read that kind of stuff so i’m tagging discourse and putting the rest of the post under the cut. Hope it’ll work

The first thing i wanna talk about is the way Jack interact with us here on tumblr but also on reddit. Do you remember favouritism drama that happened last february? People were pointing out Jack rebloging from same people all the time, he said he doesn’t do it on purpose, things were talked out and were ok for a while. However we came back to the same place again. I wouldn’t call it necessary favouritism but idk, ignorance maybe? I payed attention who Jack rebloging from, who’s posts he see in reddit vids. Before ya’ll jump on me, i don’t blame artists or people who he interact with at all. I’m glad they post and i hope they continue. The point i’m trying to make is Jack going through most popular most of the times. I don’t know why is this. I tried to ask him, i tried to ignore it, i tried to convince myself that i’m just jealous bitch and he does care about us all still equally. It’s really hard to think that when you see over and over popular creators, who already got good amount of notes, being featured in vids/ rebloged/ interacted with. Again, i don’t blame creators at all. I just feel frustrated that smaller creators doesn’t have chance to be seen, not only by Jack but by anybody really since a lot of people avoid tag to not see tea blogs posts. And then Jack saying in videos that he’s sad creators leaving… Are you surprised? Really? It was going fo so long and nothings changing in that regard.

I remember Jack said something along the line once “it’s better to interact with few than to not interact at all”. That’s true when “few” changes constantly but if it’s same few over and over you shouldn’t be surprised when people feel like worse of a fans and leaving.

“Draw for yourself, not for Jack”. Yeah, i do. I do draw and colour and i’m being creative whenever i have time. I just don’t post that often here anymore. Don’t be hypocrite. You all posting in the tag because you want to be seen. If you wouldn’t be seen you wouldn’t post in tag or even anywhere online. It’s very easy to say “notes doesn’t matter” when you get feedback whatever you post. I don’t want him to interact with everybody. A little bit of variety wouldn’t hurt tho.

I’ll quote something he posted on tumblr early this year: “I know I reblog and interact with certain people here more than others, I don’t think it ever really occurred to me properly because I usually just fly through the tag each day and interact with stuff as I see it and what it pertains to. It’s never been on my mind to do it for some more than others or “play favourites”. Some people are just FAR more active here than others and in the tag way more often, so just by sheer number alone it would make sense that I would see their stuff more as it’s usually more current. I’m sorry if people felt left out or underappreciated as a result of that. It’s a byproduct of things rather than the intent.” First of all I don’t believe he doesn’t recognize people artstyes at this point. Secondly it’s not hard to see the same popular people if you only going through most popular posts.

Another thing that’s bothering me are charity streams. Not that Jack raising money, that’s good. I’m not that much of a bitch. I mean the way streams are handle. Jack seems often unprepared. I don’t talk about games here, but about charity itself. Shouldn’t he know more about them instead of reading what they’re doing from their website? It was especially bothering me with team trees charity because this topic is talked about a lot and it’s really not that hard to find informations about it. “Let’s plant 20mln trees and save the planet!” No hun, it can and will help but it won’t save the planet as you claim.

“You’re going on the board” pissing me off so damn much everytime. I never watch streams if i don’t feel well mentaly because of that board thing mostly. I understand that you wanna reward people somehow, i get where it came from but again, it’s so unfair. Let’s give example. There’s person A who have a good job and earn quite a lot. It’s no problem for them to save thousand or two for charity. They will go on the board for that. There’s person B, who has shitty job, or is unemployed a lot of time. They have health problems and strugling everyday. They still wanna help out and give a dollar for a charity every month. Are you familiar with a biblical story about widow from Luke chapter 21? That’s what i mean with this example. Did you notice the way Jack read donations? How pumped he is when somebody give thousand dollars or at least few hundred and how he rush through one dollar donations? Because i did. Please don’t come to me saying he’s not guilt tripping people because he does. I don’t believe he’s doing it on purpose but don’t tell me you never felt that way. I just don’t believe you.

Forced PMA. This was talked about many times. Jack said it’s not about being happy all the time. Most of the community agree, yet i constantly see PMA = no negativity mentality and Jack incourage that by liking that kind of posts. Jack used to play “serious games” and tried to take opportunities to talk about mental health and about reaching out to friends, parents and getting professional help if it’s needed. I don’t blame him for not playing that kind of games anymore but he switched from that to making meme videos, and God forbid, yelling “a meme a day keeps the depression away”. And people take it seriously. They really do. I saw with my two own eyes on jse discord that somebody said they have depression and they don’t feel too well and another person replied with - go watch some MEMES because a meme a day keeps the depression away hehe. What is this??? Is it really the message you wanna send? Just google those memes. They’re disgusting.

Tea blogs. Again, are you surpriced they’re there? Are you surpriced that when one get deleted another two or three appear? I’m not at all. Because everytime someone try to voice their opinion respectfully (especially more popular people in community) they get anons saying things from “that’s not very pma of you”, “You’re just jealous”, “Jack would be disappointed”, “Jack doesn’t want you here”, “If you don’t like him then leave” to “go kill yourself”. Nobody want to get such lovely message. To avoid that they’re going to tea blogs. Sure, there is a lot of hate there too. Sure, there are people who just wanna talk shit and spread lies. But there are also issues like the ones i wrote above. They won’t disappear if we won’t talk about them. I do care about Jack. I really do. I want him to do well and i want have good time watching his vids. i wanna interact with people who i met in this community. That’s why i’m writing it all, because i believe we’re better than that. I wanna see us improve not go down.

I really like what Jack tweeted and deleted "We all need love & support in life but also need someone to call us on our shit now and then. Don’t surround yourself with just “yes” people".

#Jacksepticeye #discourse #personal #not in the tag anymore? awesome

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oldthe-nothing-maker · 5 years

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I often receive messages thanking me for leaving nice comments in the tags of the art I reblog here, and I always kind of answer the same thing, which is “thanks ! you should try it too, it really makes a difference !”, but until now I’ve never really explained in detail why I do this and why I think others should try it too, because I felt like it was a little pretentious of me, a little preachy perhaps ? But I think now’s a good time to get these thoughts out.

Also this isn’t going to be very linear, I apologise (and probably a bit long, too ! As I said, I’ve been thinking a LOT about this, ahah) :

- First of all, here’s how I do it ! I see a drawing ! I look at it, I go “oh, I like this”, and then think – what exactly is it that I like ? The colours ? The lines ? The atmosphere ? Is it just this one detail on the top right corner where the mushrooms intersect ? Or the way the artist made one eye glow and that’s really well done ? Or how graceful the curls of the strands of hair are ? Or how subtle the expression on the face is ? It doesn’t matter what I pick up, it can be a trivial detail, but I’ll point it out and say “hey, I liked this”. Sometimes I say a lot ! Sometimes I’m really down or really tired and I won’t say much, or I’ll wait until I have enough energy to comment. Because, yes, commenting is tiring, it takes effort and time, and that’s why most people don’t do it. It’s not easy ! But I don’t think kindness is always easy – I think it’s a skill that you can hone and practice and get better at, and commenting is a nice little way of doing so.

- Now, to the consequences ! Everybody knows this by now, but of course, commenting on art makes the artist feel seen, appreciated, and acknowledged. A happy artist is always going to be a more productive artist, who will then progress more, and give you more art in return – it’s a beneficial relationship ! Also, in a very pragmatic way, it’s also a good way of making connections if you’re an artist yourself - personally, I always remember the usernames of the people who say things about my art, and so if a conversation happens, I’m a lot more inclined to go check their art or just chat in general ahah

- Now this next idea is maybe a little more abstract, but I’ll do my best. Art on the internet, on social medias as they are right now, is evanescent. Everything goes so fast and there’s so much of it, and it’s very easy for art to get lost in a scroll of a dashboard. It may be because I’m not a “big name artist”, but my drawings virtually disappear after two or three days max: past this date it’s a miracle if they get any likes at all. As a result, I feel a tremendous amount of pressure to post something everyday, to make sure I’m still seen, not forgotten, and completely lose track of what I’ve done in the past – a drawing I’ve done five days ago feels months-old to me. I don’t want to be all “we live in a society”, but there is a tendency to consume quickly and efficiently everything that the internet throws at us, when the essence of art is to take the time to make something that will get reflected upon, to create a moment of stillness in time (or so I think). The act of commenting, of stopping what you’re doing, of looking at the piece and thinking about it, putting feelings into words, makes the art worth it. It recompenses the time that was put into its creation and acknowledges its presence, its unique place and function in our society, instead of treating it as a commodity.

- We, as humans, are programmed to remember and endlessly reminisce on the bad things. It’s a useful skill to have, it shields us from further harm, and all that jazz. Knowing this, and reflecting on the society we live in, I genuinely believe that it’s not only good, but also maybe necessary, to focus on the nice things as well. Art is a good way of doing that ! It doesn’t involve thinking about people or life or your own personality – it’s just a good-looking thing that’s begging for positive attention. It’s completely harmless to like it ! It’s there for you to do just that ! What a great invention ! And yes, I’m definitely talking about mental health issues when I say all of this: I am clinically depressed, severely so, and I know how pointless all of it feels – but you’ve got to try. You always have to try. And even if not for yourself – you can go back to Idea Number Two and think you’re doing it for someone else, who thanks to your effort may not ever feel pained and numb like you. Try to give to the barest glimpses of appreciation and admiration and awe you can feel the same attention you give to the emptiness in your guts. Maybe you’ll have to fake it at first, maybe for a long time – I know I do it a lot (and I’m constantly worried that people find my overly-cheerful persona very annoying, ahah !). But it cannot, and will not, hurt you, to try.

- Also ! As a very fun and pleasing side-effect, it turns out that practicing putting into words the good feelings inside you is an invaluable skill that will eventually resurfaces in all aspects of your life ! Not only will you eventually be able to find good things to look at everywhere (the colour of a wooden beam, the way the light hits the edges of your fridge in the morning, the elegance of a potted plant), but the satisfaction of being able to find the correct words to express to a friend why you like spending a moment with them, or to explain why a video game moved you, or why this one joke your mum made was the funniest thing you’ve heard in days, is indescribable. And it will happen ! It’s true, I’ve lived it, I’m living it as I type – it just gets easier and better, always ! And as I’ve found out, people get motivated by witnessing easily shared kindness, and often spread their good thoughts in return. So, I’d say it’s quite worth it.

TL;DR : anything nice you can say, no matter how small, is worth saying, but art is a good starting point, because it is, in essence, made to be appreciated. Being able to express the good things you’re feeling can only have a positive impact on you and your surroundings, and in a fast-lived world filled with endless news of catastrophe and cataclysms, one has to try to create and share joy as much as they try to fight pain, even if only a little. So try it too – look at something you like, and say “hey, this one detail looks good !” And here you go – you made art worth it.

#text post #i need a me tag #commenting #whooops this is long... and i feel so pretentious...#i just get... like #i just get very sad when i think about how much art is made #and how it's treated with like... indifference ?#and please note that i'm not talking about a certain type of art being better than another #if you enjoy it then it's good !#i'm just saying that it's another thing that we're losing to things going too fast #and i'm guilty of that too !!#it just can't hurt to take the time to like things #and to say it #that's all folks !!

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jaypelt · 4 years

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Cheers for Five Years of Undertale, and its Everlasting Effect on Me

Been a while since I’ve done one of these... I might even be rusty at it! Honestly, what I’ve got right now are more vague thoughts than coherent words in my head. I wasn’t sure if I’d even do this, since I felt it wasn’t entirely necessary. Everybody had so much to say! But spurned on by the display of someone very close to me, the cogs in my head couldn’t help but start turning for me too. So here I am. This isn’t going to be easy, though. Because if you read this, I need you to understand the depth of my feelings. Even if just a little. So I’ll do my best to bare my heart yet again, for the sake of it and everything its done for me. Everything it’ll keep doing for me.

The beginning is usually always one of the hardest parts. A blank space devoid of anything, that you’ve got to somehow miraculously fill with thoughts somebody else could understand. But Undertale is rarely a subject I ever have to struggle so much with. It’s been a long, long five years.

This is re-treading old ground that a number of those who know me are already familiar with, however, I don’t think this would be complete without it. But it will get very, VERY personal. If you’re not comfortable with that, then uh... giving you another warning now. But pushing forward...

Right before UT came out, I hadn’t begun to really unravel quite yet. But I was very close. It was somewhat of a rough transitional period as I moved on from my middle school to high, losing very dear IRL friends and generally continuing to struggle with school, as I had been for years. Untreated ADHD is real nasty. But I’d always had at least some friends, either online, or ones I made throughout the year, to rely on. And I didn’t really think about things. The start of this school year was no different. Even having a... perhaps questionable choice of boyfriend, but, well, he was my first.

I struggled with just about every aspect of school from basically the start, but having a small group, and especially an online partner to come home to everyday, helped me at least get through. In the coming months, however, I’d start to encounter more turbulence. Through aforementioned partner, I met someone who’d come to rely on me far more than he should have. Made even worse by the fact that he was a full grown adult while I was only 14, which will be a recurring trend. And has been for most of my life.

We hit it off pretty quickly, becoming good friends and talking to each other outside of mutual friend spaces. And through that, he started to open up about his problems. Living with a family that treated him poorly, suicidal urges, and particularly, an abusive boyfriend. If you know me well, I’ve probably definitely talked about this at least a little.

My daily routine starting becoming supporting this person through all of his troubles. Sitting in skype calls or exchanging messages for hours at a time on the daily. Rarely did a day go by where I didn’t, slowly sinking into an apathetic pit from overextending myself for the sake of his mental health. I couldn’t even help him improve, all I could do was just try to keep him alive. Which, well, I did. For months.

Everything else fell to the wayside as I was constantly stressed about the life of someone I cared about. Obviously my school life suffered even further. I grew withdrawn from everyone, and kept only to the few online friends I had. However, in the midst of this downward spiral, just before the ball really got rolling, a certain game came out. Exactly a month after it had come out, October 15th, 2015, I’d become interested after all the talk on tumblr about Undertale.

After watching a playthrough on youtube(I didn’t play for myself at first, a pity), It’d personally resonated so strongly and gotten me so hooked that it was something I invested a fair amount of my time into consuming content about. I grew super attached to all these characters that’d made me laugh, smile, cry... just this whole spectrum of emotions. And someone in particular, Alphys, really caught my attention after things had begun to get worse.

She felt so... relatable, though I couldn’t possibly tell you all the reasons. When I think about it, we’re not really the most similar, but something about her just hooked me. Maybe because she had all these things going on that nobody knew about. And that she lied. And felt so anxious interacting with anyone after she’d previously been much warmer and closer. That she was closer to “disappearing” than she seemed.

Whatever the reasons, the months moving further along, consuming content about UT practically became my lifeline. I reblogged heaps and heaps of posts about it, watched videos, listened to the soundtrack, even started drawing because I’d been so inspired. When I was just stuck in this horrible pit of second-hand depression, it was the one thing that still made me happy. I started to really think about why it mattered to me and how. It’s funny, I’d read books obsessively for years before then, but UT was the thing that really got me thinking. It was all downhill from there, I tell you. Now I’m an artist and a writer. Horrific.

But, unfortunately, for all its good... it couldn’t stop what was to come. I was still getting worse and worse, with no end in sight. I’d already been supporting... let’s call him Phil, for a few months. And in December of that year, my boyfriend completely dropped off the grid for a while. I’d see him appear online sometimes and I’d message him, but no response, then right back to offline. Finally, he came back, approaching me with something he obviously was uncomfortable about.

To make a long story short, he’d come to the conclusion that he was straight, and decided to end the relationship. What’s bad is that... honestly? I was already doing so poorly that I had a hard time caring. But we did pretty much stop talking, and I leaned into Undertale all the more. Anyway, time continued to pass. Not without its few ups, and mostly downs. I got used to being called “mature”, usually followed by “especially for your age.” “Phil” told me that if I were legal, he’d date me. I’ve got a crippling fear of screwing up with people that’s stuck with me to this day, after a few occasions involving him. I considered doing some... not so great things to myself. Thankfully, I was always so averse to physical pain that it didn’t become anything extreme.

As for the few ups, there was “Phil” finally managing to leave his abusive relationship, when he’d tried previously and fallen into such a bad depressive episode I had to talk him down. So that was something. He’d even started going to therapy after the second break up.

Not that it did a whole lot. The school year began approaching its end and nothing had really changed. I’d been going through all the same motions for around half a year or more. My sleep was terrible, I was passing almost none of my classes, had practically no friends to speak of, and just felt... tired. All the time. But during this... the minute beginning of a monumental shift started. Another character in UT had begun to clutch me in his grasp. Even more strongly than Alphys. Flowey. Through the posts a singular person on tumblr had made about him and my experience with the geno run, I came to understand the dumb little flower more. Which is also funny, because he was previously my least favorite. Even, yes, after the Asriel reveal.

I’m having a difficult time weaving together this convoluted timeline of events, but it was around... perhaps March or early April that the person whom I’d been supporting for almost a full fucking year completely disappeared. Without a word. The one thing I’d tried to stick to for so long was just. Gone. So I drifted about with, well, no purpose.

By the end of the school year, it probably goes without saying that I was... not doing great. But one those aforementioned acquaintances I’d only just started to become actual friends with came forth to me with a question. That being if there was some way for us to keep contact during the summer. So I gave her my email, which would turn out to be a decision that saved my life. Because things would only get worse before they got better.

This is getting to be way, way, way too long. So to summarize, summertime came around and I’d been in pretty close contact with... I’ll just call her V. She was... well, unlike anyone I’d ever known. Someone who stood out with the intelligence you could just see in their eyes. Outgoing, charismatic, compassionate... all those sorts of things. We were opposites in a lot of ways. Or, at least, it felt like it.

Some things happened, like “Phil” coming back after months of nothing. Me immediately slotting back into my role of being a pillar of support, but then screwing up and hating myself for it. But honestly, that ain’t shit to the rest of the whole shitshow.

For a bit of context, my parents are divorced. So for most of the previous years, I’d been going to my mom’s place during the summer and staying with her the whole time, to make up for how rarely we’d see each other otherwise. That year... she was beginning to run low on money. She lived next to my granny, but still basically alone, compared to how she’d been staying with someone else in hotels for the few prior years.

After learning she didn’t have enough to pay rent and might be kicked out, she tried to appeal to her mom, who said she wouldn’t let her stay. Why? I don’t know. After that, she spiraled into a panic. And, well, the ever faithful little worker bee, I stepped forward to try and console her in any way I could. She seemed to recompose, at least a little. It wasn’t great, and she thought she’d have to do some unsavory things in order to survive, but... I thought that, just maybe, I’d done something.

But... later that night, she started drinking. Which... well, put her in a mood. Exacerbated by the day’s earlier events and the fact that she was taking medication that responded poorly to alcohol. She came over to where I was sitting, my little makeshift desk I’d put together to set up my desktop, with my little sister just in the other room. Just... a warning for this next part, it’s... grim. More grim than anything else in this thread.

She proceeded to tell me she was going to go upstairs and grab the gun my granny kept in her room. And berated me for thinking I’d done anything to help, saying she “wasn’t like my little friends” that I could simply talk to. With that, she walked away, heading upstairs. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so crushed in my entire life, to this day. I broke down crying, sitting in that chair.

Yet, somehow, I managed to stop when I saw her coming back down. She walked back over, pointed the gun at her head, and told me to give her a reason she shouldn’t do it. And also to this day, I.... still don’t know if I said what was right. It was all I could think of. I quietly told her that if she did it, I’d pick that gun up and do it to myself. Same as her. And I asked if she wanted to be responsible for that.

It was true, too. By that point, I didn’t care anymore.

And if there’s one thing I can say about her, it’s that she’s always cared about me. In a horrible, twisted way especially, that night. It was enough to make her silently pull the gun down, go back upstairs, and put it away. One last time... she came down, walked past me to the front door and simply said “I love you.” before going out to sit on the porch.

I’m not sure I’ll ever truly get over the events of that night. I spoke to V afterwards, as I’d been keeping in regular contact, as I said. And even been speaking to her throughout the day about what was happening. I think she was panicking just as much as I had been, and told me to go find the gun and unload it. So I did. Bawling my eyes out the whole damn time. Afterwards, I took the bullets and threw them in the large neighborhood garbage can.

The rest of the night’s a blur. I don’t recall if anything else happened, I just remember waking up tired the next day. My uncle was in the house, as he’d been staying with my granny for a while, but hadn’t been around the night before. I tried to talk to him, but.. couldn’t bring myself to open up. Even though we were pretty close. I went back to my dad’s.

That wasn’t the end of it, either. For the next coming months, I’d get drunken calls and live in fear of being put right back in the same situation. It got so bad that I stopped answering my phone altogether. I broke contact with my mom entirely. I still hate answering or making calls.

Anyway, a few other things happened in the summer, like my applying for online courses. And the subsequent ridicule from my dad’s side of the family for the decision. Tell you what, the stress of taking a test to try and join that online program, then going to golden corral and having to struggle to not cry in front of everyone there was... not the ideal way to spend a birthday. Happy 15 years to me.

So.... that was that. I still went through with online courses and everything kind of... slowed to a crawl. I tried to do school work, but depression and still yet untreated ADHD prevented me from making any substantial progress beyond a few finished classes. For a while I simply... existed in a limbo. All I did was get up, get on my computer, maybe talk to a few people, and play Overwatch. Maybe look at tumblr, as I remained into Undertale. V and I lost contact after school started back up. I never blamed her for it. In fact, I preferred it that way. She didn’t deserve to have such a burden placed on her, and I still... feel guilty for leaning on her so much.

But I’m very thankful. I hope she’s out there living a good life, wherever she is.

And this! Is where we finally get to the not depressing parts! And only... what, 29 paragraphs in? Sheesh... I know I wanted to really illustrate just how shit things were to demonstrate just how much UT did for me, but this is taking it a bit far, isn’t it? Ah well... already made it this far. In for a penny, in for a pound. If you’ve made it this far, congratulations! I’m sorry. Truly. And I love you so very dearly.

Time went by and I kept doing my thing. Playing Overwatch(a practically self-destructive behavior deserving a therapy, frankly), talking to the few friends I had that I kept at an arm’s length, that sort of stuff. “Phil” and I no longer talked, thank goodness. Obviously I was depressed as all hell, not bothering to shower, eat, clean up, or do laundry for days on end. I spent more time asleep than I did awake, on most days. Did I say this was where the not depressing part was? I may have lied a little.

Blah blah “more months go by”, you know the drill. Until... I believe, November of 2016. After cementing my love of Flowey ever deeper, I’d started to follow more blogs putting out content for him on tumblr. In particular, the most important ones being I’lltrytobegood, Flowey-Answers, and later happyflowey and Corruptedflora.

It all started with a stream. I joined an art stream of LLA(Lovelyladyartist) on picarto as he worked on ITTBG. I kept quiet for the first few streams I joined, being too anxious to really out myself in any capacity. But little by little, I was coerced out of my shell. Particularly by one SilverKhaos, who I think at the time went by SilverSlayer or something. Anyway, he got me talking. And through that, I started making friends, bit by bit.

Also through the stream, I was introduced to CC(CuteCatDoodles) of Flowey-Answers. I obsessively read through the entire blog in a single sitting, just... having such a good time with it. And... strangely enough, it... got me feeling oddly better. Like I’d finally started to breath after not being able to for what felt like such a long time. If just a little. The next day, I got out of bed early, cleaned up, took out some garbage, and made breakfast. Just a simple plate of scrambled eggs. A simple, easy morning for most any average person. But for me? It was one of the most special mornings I’ve ever had.

Likewise, I did the same with Ding’s happyflowey, of reading through all of it in a single night. My head hurt like a motherfucker, but I tell you, it was worth it. The effect perhaps not as profound, but still very meaningful to me, as well as sowing the seeds of yet more relationships to form. If far off in the future, as far as this timeline is concerned. I still adore all of those dumb, charming little flowers so much. Mania would come to inspire my first ever OC, in fact. Thinking about that blog makes me miss when the UT fandom was more active here, even though I never participated in the fandom at large. But I’m grateful for the memories and incredible amounts of enjoyment getting to read it all brought me. I have way too many cropped images of Hysteria.

I wasn’t immediately better, but it was all the start of something new. I kept up with the streams, also joining in for CC’s. For hours upon hours a day, I’d just hop into them and spend the day talking away. I had something to really look forward upon waking up, starting to adjust my schedule so that I at least didn’t miss TOO much. I was able to really make friends, it felt like. Even though I wasn’t and still am not the most socially adept.

And as luck would have it, because picarto chat was and probably still is pretty unstable to this day, it just happened to go down and that led to... the creation of the discord server! It started off small, but steadily got more and more joiners from the growing population of the streams. LovelyLadyArtist, CuteCatDoodles, BrySkye, Flowers-Without-Pots, SilverSlayer, KRS, Donut, Mr.Quarter, Dragoler, Stilla, Chara, RotmModdy, Rowdy, Dunal, and probably at least a few others I’m forgetting... all names I encountered there and most of which I still see daily.

Through that server, we started keeping up even when there wasn’t any stream going on. Just goofing off and having a good ‘ol time. Already I was... well, doing a helluva lot better than I had before. All because of the gathering of a small community surrounding this indie gem. And even further centered in a niche specifically about Flowey! Who, and I’d forgotten to mention this before, I’d found a surprising amount to relate in. He’d become a big, BIG hyperfocus. Which is why I’d met everyone at all. Truly, it’s crazy to think how possible it is for me to have never come down this path.

From there on, I continued to meet new people, established new relationships. I even got invited to an RP server, creatively named “Flower RP” :p. At first I was hesitant, perhaps not even initially 100% interested. But as people really got into it, I felt an incredibly strong Fear of Missing Out. Leading to the creation of a character still near and dear to my heart.... Zorch. The result of contributions from many friends, from design ideas, to character concepts, and even his name(thanks for that, Rowdy). And... I began to write. It wasn’t great at first. very short form, and I didn’t know how to approach the roleplaying mindset, or even how to properly characterize him.

But over time... I got better. I became more confident. I really got into the nitty-gritty of character writing and discussion. I joined in on hours long discussions about the characters, lore, and narrative of Undertale. I’d wake up just to be there as soon as chat began to move, all the way to the point where everyone was finally asleep. I started to be able to help people again. For months, participating in this RP, in this chat, in this community was what I lived for. The joy that I felt in being among friends all working towards and talking about a common goal and interest is, well, honestly still somewhat unrivaled.

Paci, Pots, Neue, Castor, Silver, Nightmare, Rowdy. Me. All of us joined together in mutual love for a game, spurred on to feverishly create our own content about it. I kept up for months on end, living by the mostly same routine for probably the longest I’ve ever stuck to anything. Eventually... things happened and the server’s gone quiet. We had problems with management, people feeling excluded, targeted, etc etc. It was a very... consequence heavy RP, most of us were almost complete newbies to the roleplaying game, and many came to care rather deeply about the ongoings of it. Perhaps too much. But, well... I’m not sure it could have been prevented.

Sometimes, I still wish I could go back to that point of my life. I know someone else who does too. Even more than me. But I know not to try and emulate the past, as alluring as it may seem. So I push forward. Leading to yet another server with its own events. Clement, myself, Rowdy, Zielo, Neue, Moddy, Vee, Mini, Nappy, Tia, Silver. Some familiar names, some new. All still with the foundation of Undertale, but it quickly became a thing for us to just... chill and talk about anything. There was real love in that place. It was at this time that I even started going to therapy! After some struggling with the family. It helped a lot.

In time, that server, too, went under. For reasons that have long since been buried and forgiven. It no longer exists, after being deleted entirely, but I’ll always remember it. And we did eventually all(mostly) gather back together someplace new, which is still being talked in. Even gaining some new additions recently! If any of you guys are catching this one, I love you!

And we come to the final and most recent group. One I wasn’t actually a founding member of, instead being a late joiner. Comparatively smaller than all the ones before, but filled with just as much love. Pip, Ding, Kink, and Cola. Remember when I mentioned happyflowey sowing seeds, and then didn’t even expound in further detail about corruptedflora? Well congratulations, you’ve reached the payoff.

It all started after I began interacting with the mun of CF, Kinko, and became mutuals with them. We usually just spam reblogged from each other on occasion for a while. That is, until I got messaged, then sent a friend request through Discord. Which, even still, didn’t immediately go anywhere. But eventually... some things led to another, and we joined up in a particular server. Not one I’ll be naming, but times were... turbulent in there. It went under and we lost contact a bit after that.

That is, until completely out of the blue, I just get invited to a server with them and some pals to just join in on Roblox shenanigans. Imagine me, sweating and anxious as hell after getting asked to join a server with two people behind blogs I adore, considering Ding was there too. Cardiac arrest, I tell you. And obviously more than just them too! But the night turned out to be so fun that I forgot I’d ever been so anxious in the first place.

From there on... the rest was history. There’s been many, MANY ups and downs, but I’ve found yet more people I love very, very dearly. And they’ve gotten me to open up about the way I feel the most. In the past years, I could never tell someone I loved them, no matter how much I really wanted to. The words just couldn’t come out, but they... they brought that out in me. And now I can say it whenever I want! Like now! I love you guys!!! So much!!!! And not just you all, but everyone else too!!! And much love to Kink especially for being a driving force behind me making this, as well as just being a goddamn star.

So... as a final ovation... LLA, CC, Bry, Drago/Paci, Pots, Silver, Donut, Quarter, Stilla, Chara, Moddy, Rowdy, Neue, Castor/Skater, Tia/Nightmare, Clement, Zielo, Vee, Nappy, Ding, Pip, Cola, and Kink. As well as some stragglers like Log, Ingrid, and Jai. I’m probably still forgetting some... but thank you all for being my friends. It’s been a long, long five years. And yet, many of you are still in my life. In at least some form. There aren’t words enough to express my gratitude towards every single one of you for the most incredible years of my life and pulling me from what can be called nothing less than the fucking abyss. You all made and continue to make life worth living.

And thank you, Undertale. The game behind all of these relationships. The game that inspired such strong feelings in me when nothing else could. That made me into an artist and writer. The reason I’m still alive. The game that changed my fucking life and will continue to affect me, I believe, for the duration of it. I really cannot overstate just how important you were and still are. There’ll never be anything else like you.

#this is probably littered with mistakes and things that didn't need to be there #Like the sheer amount of context provided for how poorly I was doing #But too late to change things now!#My brain hurts too much to bother proofreading #So take this raw and unfiltered thing and do what you will with it #Or don't #It's a rough read #Don't push yourself through it if you can't #Or simply don't want to #long post

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shotorozu · 3 years

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Hi! I saw your requests are open and decided to take the chance lol, hc for todoroki and kaminari having a fem! s/o that’s tiktok famous, they don’t know this but once they saw their s/o doing a tiktok and standing at the back all of the sudden the s/o’s fans simps for them now and wants to see them often on their videos. Idk if that makes sense but it’s all up to you if you want to change it! No rush take your time and stay safe!

they appear in a tiktok

characters : kaminari denki, todoroki shouto

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns (gender neutral), quirk not specific

fic type : headcanons [crack, fluff]

notes : i did something similar to this where s/o was basically a pro hero’s daughter, and she accidentally goes viral bc of that. i’ll tag it later :))

≿————-　❈　————-≾

kaminari denki

probably knows you’re famous anyway, mans on tiktok consistently. (if not everyday)

and he’s well aware that people simp on you, which denki can’t really blame because have they seen you?

he’s kinda jealous though, but we won’t dwell on that right now!

has to constantly resist the urge to comment on all of your videos, but he knows you hate spam comments lol

because of UA, you’ve been posting less frequently— only once per week instead of everyday

y’all know the rake it up dance? [dc: makhamidd]

you were filming a tiktok doing that dance, while using minimum energy at the beginning.

denki immediately walks in your room in THAT part, (it makes sense if you watch it)

he’s like “bae- this energy though 😳” it’s kinda hot

anyways, he’s hyping you up in the background— and you can tell he’s watching you

so after you end the video, you pull him into a tight ass hug— teasing him about the fact that he was watching you.

fastforward! you post the video moments after you finished cuddling denki, and you leave the video alone to let it sink in.

you check back on the tiktok, and suddenly it has around 700k likes

woah that’s a lot,, especially since it’s been just a few minutes.

and the comments ranged from “they popped OFF in the middle of the dance”, “pain. just— real pain.” and “is your boyfriend single?”

okay so the thing with you and denki is that— you didn’t really wanna include denki in your videos

because a. if you guys break up, how will you tell your followers??

and b. the simps will be mad.

anyways, you’re baffled!

“denki, you’re famous. people wanna see you more!”

and he’s like 😎 woah, i’m famous now.

you’re a little jealous of the comments of girls hitting on your man, but you know denki could care less about them.

but you decide to be civil, and include denki in your videos more often :) to satisfy your followers.

your account radiates more vine energy because of him.

todoroki shouto

y’all know the daily screams? the ones from spencewuah— i love those (see one here)

you’re famous for being hot as fuck, and also ranting angry at the camera in this world (and a few casual things like dances and other things here and there)

todoroki does not have tiktok, i mean.. what’s he gonna tell endeavor when he’s like

🔥👄🔥 “what are you laughing at, shouto?” BANDNSN

anyways, he doesn’t discover your account— but, he knows you’re quite famous on tiktok (but he’s not sure what you’re famous for.)

anyways, you’re screaming at the camera right? ranting about something stupid that happened today

and your boyfriend walks into you screaming, and he’s just in the background like 🧍

you see him, and you’re like

😺 “—how are you, shou?”

and shouto’s like,, “love, are you okay? why are you screaming?”

you laugh and end the video— and say it’s something you do on tiktok.

the both of you think nothing of it, as you both spend time with each other for the remainder of the day

you upload the video after shouto leaves, and your video blows up— like.. a lot more than 700k likes this time.

the comments are either

“are we gonna talk about the voice change? they went 👹➡️✨”

“is that ENDEAVOR’S SON?? wtf”

“is your boyfriend single?”

“pain.”

you were expecting this to happen, your followers liking your boyfriend a lot more than you,

and you’d see how they’d comment flirtatious things about shouto (it’s lowkey making you uncomfortable)

you casually bring up about how shouto’s famous on tiktok, and he’s like

“oh?? you’re a lot more famous though, love.”

“you don’t get it shou, they’re SIMPING for you— be proud!”

and he’s like,, so confused. why should i be proud?? i literally have you

“but i have you, love. why do i need their compliments?”

“shouto, you’re too kind.” you swoon, pecking a kiss on his lips briefly

does shouto appear on your tiktoks more? a little bit more— but not constantly :) bc shouto is only YOURS

≿————-　❈　————-≾

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing.

do not plagiarize my work :))

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