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petersasteria · 1 year

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Wrong All This Time

Peter Parker x fem!Reader

Summary: After ten long years, you were wrong all this time.

Warning/s: angst, heartbreak

taglist | peter

Usually, when something's not right for you, you ask God or anyone you believe in, for signs. You'd ask anyone listening to give you a sign if the one thing you want is meant for you or not.

Asking for a sign is always easy, but no one ever warns you about the exhausting wait for it. If you see something that could be that sign that you asked for, you ask for another sign to make sure. Then you ask again, and again, and again, and again. Eventually, when you get satisfied, you shoot your shot. Sometimes, it goes well. Sometimes, it doesn't. Other times, it's just fate's twisted way of saying, "I got you! It was a prank all along".

This is 'other times'.

When you still had a little crush on Peter back in high school, you ALWAYS asked for signs. Every day, every night, during lunch break, gym, etc. The universe, being ever so kind to you, gave you the signs you wanted despite asking every day for two years straight.

On the summer break after sophomore year, you made sure to finally ask Peter out. You were surprised when he agreed to go out with you and because you were the one who asked him out, you were going to pay for the date. You had enough money saved and after counting them, you realized you had enough money to treat both you and Peter to a sandwich at Delmar's, Peter's favorite.

You shot Peter a text and asked him if he was free that day and he said he was. That day changed your life for the better and you were so elated.

Yours and Peter's relationship was unlike any other. During the early stage, both of you were open and communicative; both are very vital things in a relationship. You were glad that everything was falling into place.

Ten years later, you and Peter are now twenty-six years old, unmarried, and not as happy as before. You asked yourself, "what went wrong?", and most of the time, there would be playback in your head of everything you did with Peter. The other day, you came to a heartbreaking realization: as each year passed, Peter's smile became smaller and smaller. He used to greet you happily and now, he just nods at you when he comes home from work. He used to cuddle you until you both fall asleep and now, he either sleeps first or sleeps later. He changed.

Everything changed, actually. Your high school and college friends accomplished a lot of things. Ned got married, Gwen bought a house, Flash moved to another country, Felicia recently got married, and many more are moving on to their new chapters and life. Meanwhile, you and Peter were still stuck. Since your eleventh anniversary is coming up, you decided to confront Peter about your relationship so that he wasn't sad on your anniversary. You were glad that Peter agreed to talk to you when he gets home from work.

Later that night, Peter gave you a tight-lipped smile and sat across from you at the dining table. The table was full of delectable home-cooked meals that you prepared. Peter put his things on the chair on his right before saying, "This looks delicious."

"Thank you." You said quietly. Both of you started eating in silence until Peter spoke up, "So, what's up? We haven't sat down and ate together in a while."

"Um," you started, "I just wanted to talk to you about something, that's all."

"Okay. What is it?" He asked as he took a sip of his drink.

"I realized that as each year passes by, you become unhappier and unhappier. What's up with that?" You chuckled sadly. "I mean, we were both fine, but I guess not. I just- I don't know when and where it went wrong, y'know?"

Peter didn't say anything. He just let you ramble on. He could tell that you've been keeping this to yourself for a long time now.

"The last thing we ever did was move in together and that was like three years ago! I want to get married-"

"You know I'm not a 'marriage' person, right?" Peter interrupted and you sighed.

"I know. I'm just saying. You don't want a kid with me either."

"That's because I'm not into the whole parenting thing." Peter defended himself.

"It's not working out anymore, Pete." You sighed sadly. You looked at Peter with tears clouding your eyes and he stared back as if nothing crucial is happening in your relationship. "How can you sit there as if this is just nothing?" You asked with a shaky breath.

"Because I've known for a while now. I just didn't tell you because I couldn't find the right time." Peter said. "I guess I've just accepted it."

"I see." You said, wiping your tears. "I'll just leave tomorrow."

"No, I'll leave. You can have the-"

"I don't want to stay here knowing that every inch of this place has a ghost of you." You cried. "I can't take that. I'll go and you stay here. It's fine."

When you left your shared apartment, you stayed with your parents for a bit just until you can get back on your feet. What happened was heartbreaking and being in the comfort of your parents' home would really help.

After two months you decided it was time to get back on your feet. You found a new apartment, so you packed your things, kissed your parents goodbye, and left. Upon arriving at your new apartment, you saw that, like you, it needed a bit of fixing. Without wasting time, you started fixing, cleaning, buying new furniture, and unpacking for five days. When you were done, you proudly looked around and smiled for the first time in two months. You took out your phone, took an obligatory selfie, and posted it on Instagram with the caption: "starting fresh 🍃"

Seeing as you were offline for two months and you weren't in contact with anyone, you decided to sit down on your new couch and scroll through Instagram just to catch up with what you missed. Your smile grew when you saw all your friends being happy in life. For each scroll and picture, you made sure that you liked and commented on them.

Comment: "have fun in Paris w the hubby, Felicia!"

Comment: "welcome back to NYC! Let's grab some coffee sometime, Flash."

Comment: "omg I need that in my new apartment! Can you tell me where you bought that, Gwen?"

Your smile disappeared after you saw Gwen's picture. You haven't seen his face in a while and it feels so surreal to see it again. This time, he was happier than ever. Happier than when he was with you. He was with MJ. They were both smiling from ear to ear.

Michelle Jones. Not much was to say about her. She was quiet and mostly kept to herself. Her nose was stuck in a book all the time. She was really good at the arts and she's a very bright person. She was always alone and didn't care if she was in a group. Her hair was in a loose bun, so parts of her hair were covering half of her face. She and Peter didn't interact as much, making you wonder when and how they have this chemistry.

The picture was captioned: "some things just make sense".

Did you and Peter not make sense? You did, right?

So many thoughts were clouding your brain and you immediately closed the app and called Gwen.

"You need to move on from him, I swear." Gwen said as she took a sip from her wine.

"I know, but it's hard! We were together for ten years, G! It's hard to let that go." You frowned.

"I know, but you need to start somewhere. You can't be stuck on him forever or else you won't grow as a person. You need growth right now." Gwen said.

"Everything was perfect and it was just right. It-"

"Have you asked yourself if it was right for Peter?" Gwen asked. "Because based on what I'm hearing right now, it's all one-sided. It was right for you, perfect for you, whatever. Was it perfect for Peter? Was it right for Peter?"

"G, he was with me for ten years. I'm sure it was right for him."

"That's your opinion, Y/N. You never asked him, did you? I guess that's where it went wrong. You were so caught up in this fantasy of everything being perfect all because of a sign you asked for back in high school that you got. Not once did you ask him if he was still happy with you. You just assumed everything and it shouldn't be like that, so don't blame him for being unhappy."

"Y/N, I'm your friend and I want what's best for you that's why I'm fucking honest. You need to let him go and be happy. He deserves that and you do too. You need to explore new places and try new things. You've been together since you were sixteen and you never got a chance to explore and meet new people. You've been stuck with him since then and now that you're not together, you don't know who you are or what you like because you based everything on Peter. You're not twenty-six forever, Y/N. You have a life, so live it until you find someone who ignites a spark in you that you never knew you had."

You were stunned at her outburst. You looked at her, "Wow. That's so harsh, G. You changed."

Gwen sighed, "I didn't change, Y/N. I just grew up." She grabbed her bag and slipped on her heels before standing up from your new couch. She looked at you and said, "Y/N, I treasure you and care about you so, so much. I also understand where you're coming from, but there's a time when you need to gather the pieces of what used to make you happy and throw it away to start a clean slate."

"Thanks, Gwen." was all you said.

"No problem. Call me if you need anything." She said softly before leaving. You heard the door shut, downed the rest of your wine, and laid down on the couch. She was right. You needed to move on.

FIVE YEARS LATER

In the last five years, a lot of things happened to you and your friends. Felicia gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Jared three years ago, Gwen moved to Paris with her family, Flash settled down, and Ned has a new baby. As for you, you've been on numerous dates, but only one guy struck you. Although, a part of you still hurt at the thought of Peter because there was no closure when you broke up. After all, it's your longest relationship. You haven't heard from him since.

After Gwen left that night five years ago, you unfollowed Peter on Instagram and unfriended him on Facebook. It hurt, but it felt good not knowing about his life.

Until now.

"Jared, be careful!" You chased after the active young boy as he ran and giggled. Felicia asked you to babysit him for a few hours because she has errands to do and her husband is out of town. You happily said yes because Jared isn't a difficult kid. He's just hyper.

You stopped running to catch your breath and saw Jared playing in the sandbox with other children. You smiled to yourself and sat down on a bench nearby to see him.

"Y/N?" A voice startled you. You looked up and saw brown eyes you never thought you'd see again.

"Oh, it is you! How are you?" Peter smiled as he sat next to you. You were stunned. You didn't bother replying because you were too busy staring.

"How are things?" He asked. You shook your head and looked away.

"You can't just ask me things like that when we never had closure. We broke up that night, I packed all of my things and left the next day. You even helped me put my things in my car!" You exclaimed.

"You never told me why you started being the way you were and you told me you've known that our relationship wasn't working for, like, a long time, but you never opened up. I'm not a mind reader, Pete. I just wish you could've told me earlier so that I knew what to do with my life."

"We were together for ten years and you were my first everything! You were all I knew; our relationship was all I knew. So when we were done and when you realized that ten years with me was going nowhere, I didn't know what to do. We were twenty-six and I wanted something new out of our relationship, but you never gave me that."

"That seems unfair," Peter said. "I spent ten whole years with you and I cherished that, truly. But saying all those things assuming that I never cared enough to give you anything in our relationship is unfair. I tried, okay?! You just weren't the one for me. MJ is and she'll always be the one for me. It's time for you to accept that."

You scoffed and crossed your arms. This wasn't how you imagined your closure.

"What does she have that I don't?" You asked, almost in a whisper, but he heard. 'Stupid enhanced hearing' you thought.

"She knows what I'm thinking even if I don't say anything. MJ and I have this connection; a special connection that I never had with you. I'm sorry. Both of you are different, so you shouldn't be comparing yourself to her in the first place. She's my wife and the mother of my children."

"Wait, what? You said you weren't the marrying and parent type. What happened?!" You were confused.

"I found the right person. That's what happened."

"Congrats, then." You pursed your lips and looked at Jared as he played with other kids. You hope that Jared doesn't go through what you went through.

"I hope you find someone who isn't me. When you meet him you'll understand what I'm saying. Right now, I understand your mixed emotions. It's all valid." Peter said as he stood up. "I better get going. I have to pick up my kid from school. I hope we see each other again without the awkwardness and tension. I also hope you can get to know MJ."

"Sure, Parker." You said, but you weren't sure if you meant it.

"Take care, Y/N. Bye." He walked away and you took in what he said. He was right. You needed to meet the right one to know what he was talking about. However, you also realized that maybe you don't need a man to make you happy. You have yourself, your friends, and family and that's all that matters.

taglist: @blairscott

mutuals: @fanficparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @tommysparker

#peter parker #peter parker fanfic #peter parker fic #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #petersasteria #k's works

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lixzey · 4 months

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This is the Tumblr hug 🫂🤍 Please pass it on to as many mutuals as you want to brighten someone’s day! ❤️

i needed this 🥹💗 i love you!!!

tagging my loves: @this-is-me-lolol @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @sufferingstarlight @lilmaymayy @softhecreator @imnotoverlyobsessive @thebetawolfgirl @gatoenlaciudad @petersasteria @sturnioloshacker @choupette-avaleir 💘💘💘

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farfromharry · 3 years

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Hiiii!! I've just read a lot of tomdaya and d*m stuff on your blog and I hope you dont get spammed with that anymore HAHAHAHA it's clearly stressing you out. So, I hope you have a chill day/night and here's a picture of Harry to make you feel better 🤍 (you prolly have this pic already but sksks)

any picture of harry is welcome here as many times as you’d like. thank you very very much, it is greatly appreciated 😌😌

#petersasteria

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kelieah · 3 years

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Hiii! Question: is there part 2 for "our future"? 😭✋🏼 i HAVE A FEELING THAT SMTH BAD HAPPENED SKSKSGS

yep! usually when my fics have a [1] that indicates they’ll be more parts

and what do you meaannn? 😱

our future (peter parker x reader) [1]

#kelly’s inbox #petersasteria

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asonofpeter · 3 years

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I hate men too so I'll stick with my fictional dudes 😌🤍

Yes fictional men are the best ☺️

#alex answers #petersasteria

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goldenretriever-nicknelson · 3 years

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I'm sorey for like pouring my feelings here but like I have to tell someone SKAKSKS

'That Would Be Enough' is one of my fave Hamilton aongs and it's so soft and wholesome and omg Eliza is rlly out here giving me feels 😭✋🏼

Now I feel like a housewife waiting for my husband to come home... and im fuckin single 😭

AJSJSKS I love that song 😭 I totally feel you, so many feels from music and no one to share them with 🤧

You can always feel free to pour your feelings to me

#petersasteria #katie answers

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douxspider · 3 years

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Hiiii i love ur work!! Do you have a masterlist? 🥺

I DONT im sorry!! maybe one day!! i plan on writing again!!

#asks #petersasteria

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tomhollandfics · 3 years

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Singer!Reader

* = smut

Never Have I Ever - @cherrycheridarling

your fwb relationship with tom was still a fresh wound and his new girlfriend loved picking at it

Happier - @cherrycheridarling

you wish tom the best with his new relationship in your new song

Cherry - @cherrycheridarling

your ex harry styles released his new album 'fine line' and a certain song has tom's insecurities coming to the surface

Gross - @cherrycheridarling

you go live and sing a song for your fans - they catch onto the inspiration, but so does tom

Champagne Problems - @waitimcomingtoo

you play tom a new song you wrote, and he overthinks the lyrics

Love Story - @waitimcomingtoo

tom gets your favourite singer to surprise you on the graham norton show for valentine’s day

Darling - @waitimcomingtoo

your new song may expose your relationship with tom before you’re ready

When World's Collide - @ptersmj

you’re on tour, he’s a fan with connections / social media au

No Sleep - @ptersmj

you’re on jimmy kimmel to talk about your music, but he has other plans

Sensation - @ptersmj

it’s the last night of your world tour, and tom has the perfect way to celebrate

In Harmony - @evermoreholland

after a nasty break up, you go to london with your two best friends in hope to find inspiration for your upcoming album and a london boy soon became your muse

All Too Well - @farfromtommy

reader is a singer and tom broke up with her resulting in her writing all too well then she has to perform it on graham norton the same day he and his family are there

Bartender - @t-o-m-hollands

tom is the owner of a struggling pub together with his brothers and his best friend - you are a singer who’s supposed to work on your new album, not spend most of your time flirting with the local bartender

Extra - @t-lostinworlds

you get a sweet but very extra surprise on your birthday nearing the end of your show

Famous - @missnxthingg

tom drops everything just to go meet his dream girl, brand new celebrity, once she announces a tour date in atlanta, where he’s shooting civil war

Grenade - @tommydarlings

tom and y/n live happily together and they are the most gorgeous couple in hollywood, right?

Live From New York, It’s Saturday Night - @mcwriting

in which the reader is the musical guest at saturday night live the same week tom holland is hosting

* Take Me Backstage - @madmadmilk

you’re a singer and you happen to be on the same talk show - you’re both sat on the couch and the host embarrasses you by exposing a crush on the other

Driver’s Licence - @petersasteria

based on ‘drivers license’ by olivia rodrigo

Sweet Nothings - @parkersdoll

tom is always there to soothe your nerves

Fluffy Hair - @parkers-gal

tom joins the reader in her interview

No Shouting - @parkers-gal

based on a video of tom saying to the press on a carpet "please don't shout at me"

* London Boy (Series) - @tonguetiedholland

you’re a famous singer and actor whose break up with ex boyfriend, shawn mendes, has just hit the media - when it all feels a bit too much you do the only reasonable thing you can think of, escape to london and lay low for a little while - who knew that tom holland, the boy you’d only met once but had you in the palm of his hand when you did and vice verse, would also be in London at the same exact time?

A Star - @lilacsandwhiskey

tom helps y/n relax as she performs at her biggest show thus far

The Graham Norton Show - @styleshollands

y/n and tom go on the graham norton show together

Lose You To Love Me - @leewritesstuff

losing someone hurts, but knowing that things get better, feels fine - you were dating tom but feels as if you guys were slowly drifting away

For Tom - @itsallyscorner

you have a surprise for tom

Jealousy - @heavenlyholland

you and shawn have recently released a new song, 'teach me how to love' - when you get the opportunity to perform it at the american music awards, tom isn't too happy

* Crash Course - @greenorangevioletgrass

fresh out of a breakup, tom moves in with his childhood best friend - she teaches him a thing or two about moving on

(Almost) Boyfriend - @lovelytholland

tom hears your song on the radio and regrets leaving you behind - the love you once felt for him has turned into resentment - can he win your heart back after years of no contact?

Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored - @tingleparker

One look at his face and you knew you just had to have him, though his little girlfriend stood in the way; but you’re bored so he better hurry up

Shaking Shoulders - @imagines-by-billie

tom used to have a crush on you growing up

Dating A Singer - @mostly-imagines

headcanon format - tom holland dating a singer

Heather - @luciwritesstuff

tom holland and musician reader are in quarantine and she does a virtual little concert - the boys are listening closely because they love her music and tom is smitten

#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fluff #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fanfic #tom holland smut #tom holland fic #tom holland one shot #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x singer!reader #singer!reader

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piscesparker · 3 years

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Drowsy P.P

Warnings: fluff, suggestive jokes, usual typos, Peter being a horny dude *finger guns*

You felt a bit bad because you were running late, so you had asked May to cover for you; apparently your boyfriend had to get his wisdom teeth removed and even though he kept saying that he was a big boy and didn't need anyone, you knew he was lying.

After asking for Peter at the receptionist you went straight to his room and saw him lying on the bed, his soft curls on his forehead; the sight making you smile softly. "He's unconscious for now, but he should wake up soon." The nurse smiled at May and left, letting you enter the room.

It must have been at least fifteen minutes, you and May were busy talking when a soft groan caught your attention, immediately you took out your phone because as promised to MJ and Ned they had to see how Peter was without any filter. As he woke up, he only saw his aunt, he had no idea you were there too. "You okay kiddo?" May asked him. He nodded and held the ice pack to his cheek, a few minutes of silence go by when he finally speaks up, more like slurred.

"May?" She nodded at him to continue, "Ya know, Y/n is so pretty!" He had a goofy grin on his face as a blush crept on your cheeks.

"Yes, Pete I know," She smiled, "I hope your making her happy."

"I am!" He whined, "I plan on marrying her one day." What? You couldn't believe it, Peter had seen a future with you?

"Oh do you now?" May cocked her eyebrow and glanced over to see your reaction, he hummed.

"And I also want her to be the mother of my children." Now the tears threatened to spill, he couldn't be more perfect for you. "And she's also great at the process." he winked lazily. Your eyes were now widened in fear as your Peter began talking about your sex life to his aunt, you could see her trying her best not to laugh.

"Hey, Pete." You called out to him, forcing a smile.

"Y/n!" He cheered, "You're here!" You nodded.

"Perfect timing, I was just thinking of giving you some babies." He smirked.

"Peter!" You warned him.

"I'll leave you two alone." May snickered and left the room, the second she did you plopped back in your seat.

"Y/n?" The brunet was pouting now.

"Yes Peter?" You sighed.

"I really wanna give you them babies." He said innocently.

"How about we graduate high school first?" You tried to negotiate.

"And then babies?" His eyes lit up as you shook your head in disbelief.

The next day when you went to visit Peter you showed him the recording, "I don't want to see anymore," he groaned and covered his face in embarrassment, "Why didn't you stop me?"

"I tried, but you kept singing 34+35 all the way back home!"

"I sang what?!" He shrieked.

"Next time please don't May cover for you."

"I won't." Laughing you pecked his lips, "And maybe we won't have to wait till after graduation." Now it was you who was smirking.

"What?" Your boyfriends eyes widened, but you assured him that you were only kidding, "As much as I love the idea, I'm willing to wait." His eyes softening as you cuddled into his chest and thinking to yourself never to let him go.

General Taglist: @petersasteria @bleh-bleh-blehs @astrosurreptitious @hollanderfangirl @alinastarkrovs @parkerpeter24 @yourstrulyamour @celestialholland @theonly1outof-a-billion @miraclesoflove @theglitterymess @osterfieldholland01 @spideyssunshine @zspideyy @rosie-posie08

Peter Parker Taglist: @starlight-starks @spideyspeaches @peterbenjiparker @just-lost-inbetween-worlds

#peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker smut #peter parker blurb

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parkerpeter24 · 3 years

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"Bite your lip, I dare you" from the prompts enemies to lovers with tommy (does not mean I like the troupe! 🙄) Also make it spocy 😏

Mwaah ❤️

movie night distraction

warnings: jelly tom, slight™ nsfw

tom and you had preoccupied the couch so harry had to be confined to the bean bag kept on the floor of the apartment’s living room.

“harrison, come out of the kitchen already!” tuwaine called out to his mate in frustration. a movie was ready to play on the tv screen which you all were gathered around for another typical saturday movie night.

“we’re all waiting!” harry added impatiently, the remote held in his hand, thumb set over the play button.

it was a moment later that harrison padded inside the living room quickly with two bowls filled with popcorn and crisps and set them down on the table, “you guys are so restless.” harrison complained with frivolous rebuke before sitting down beside harry, on the floor.

you chuckled at all the commotion going around the room before snuggling back into tom, who in turn rested his head on your shoulder, “all of them are divs.”

“i heard that!” harry remarked and pressed play before tom could even think of a reply. the movie, ‘captain america: the winter soldier’ started playing and everyone finally settled down as the opening credits rolled.

you grabbed yourself the bowl of popcorn, sharing some with tom. there were a few cheers from the group of boys, on the entry of captain, and a whistle from you which did not go unnoticed by tom. he raised an eyebrow at you and you just shrugged it off, giggling before diverting your attention back to the tv screen.

halfway through the movie and all of the snacks were gone. everyone’s attention was solely on the tv as the mask fell from bucky’s face and steve rogers let out, ‘bucky?’, all of you waiting for the iconic dialogue.

tom pulled his eyes back for a moment to glance at your reaction, expecting one of excitement, but instead found you biting your bottom lip at the sight of a heaving captain america. he gave you a look of amusement only to get you to say, “what? steve rogers is hot!”

tom felt the bubble of jealousy rise in his chest. finding the boys immersed in the movie, he leaned in closer and whispered so that only you could hear, “bite your lip once more and you won’t be able to walk for a week, i dare you.”

you felt your cheeks heating up, checking quickly if anyone had heard what the man beside you, your boyfriend, had just casually said. you looked at him with wide eyes and he passed you a smirk, tightening his grip on your waist possessively.

oh, were you in for a long night.

———

a starry sleepover

Permanent taglist (let me know if you wanna be removed from the list): @kodzusken @shadcwmagic @jeremygilbertss @spideyspeaches @tommysparker @allegras-sunflower @rubberducky-jrr @unfilledhollowsandemptypromises @clara-licht @devotion @anjali750 @niinaazenik @petersasteria @fanficparker @alinastarkrovs @chaoticpete @t-monosapiens-h @tom-holland-is-spiderman @stareyedplanet @strwberryshortcakes @averyfosterthoughts @dreamsluvrr @evermoreholland @call-me-baby-gir1 @marylimlp @mellowobservationprincess @starlight-starks @annmariek8 @quaksonhehe @celestialholland @sinisterspidey @hollanderfangirl @tom-hlover @amberxskiess @swiftmind @rarararararaclosed @lowkey-holland @theglitterymess @miraclesoflove @kelieah @londonspidey @capital-koreasofia

#tom holland one shot #tom holland blurb #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #starry sleepover #cookie’s sleepover #rose 🌹

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imatechbummerliketomholland · 3 years

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You are my world. you three are my world now - h.h

hello there! I'm back ! Sorry if it tooks so long, i have a lot of work during these holiday. I hope you like this little request. I didn't have time to be proofread (but a big thank you to@petersasteria who is always there to support me!). Remember that my native language is French, so don't be so mean if i made mistakes!

Feel free to like, share, comment and tell me what you think. Send me a message if you want to be added to the taglist for my next work!

Word count: 2300 Warning: angst, mention of pregnancy, small mention of blood, mention of placental abruption Pairing : harry holland Request: yes!

ღღღ

You didn't expect to be pregnant with twins at your age. The announcement of your pregnancy had also surprised more than one. Despite her support, Nikki Holland had still given the discourse on the importance of safe sex to her son. But Harry had given a more than mature speech in defense of both of you. He was able to prove to his family and to yours that you were ready and that the decision to continue the pregnancy was not rash.

You were now at the half of your eighth month and nothing could stand in the way of your happiness.

Nothing except maybe this.

Nikki had offered to have lunch with her this afternoon. Despite his work as a photographer, no longer having the company of his four children - since three of them left the family cocoon to live their own life as grown-up adults- weighed heavily on her. You accepted with pleasure. Harry, who was editing his third short film, had left you this morning to go to the edit suite, not without checking that you were okay. So, you joined Nikki at the restaurant. You shine in your long floral maternity dress. In the middle of the meal, you felt a violent contraction.

At almost eight months pregnant, it was no surprise that you could feel twins’ movements. You winced a little at the pain and your mother-in-law put a reassuring hand on your arm.

"Are you alright, darling?" she asking, a little bit worried.

"Yeah, yeah. They've just been in great shape for a few days now."

You apologized and went to the bathroom, struggling to cope with the pain of your contractions. When you noticed that your underwear was soaked with blood, your heart rate increased. You suddenly realized that a series of symptoms corresponded to what you had dreaded early in your pregnancy: the nausea that had occurred last night, the violent contractions since this morning and now the blood. Rather alerting signals that suggested a placental abruption. The obstetrician told you that this was a possible risk since you were having a twin pregnancy. You started to cry and panic for several minutes that Nikki ended up knocking on the bathroom door.

"Darling, is everything good in there?" she asked you with her sweet and worried voice.

"Could you come in please" you sobbed.

"Sure, darling. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

She stepped carefully into the disabled cabin that you had used for space reasons. Nikki immediately noticed your state of stress. And you just told her everything in strangled sobs. She put a hand behind your back and gave you a very serious look.

"We have to go to the ER. We're going right away."

"I want Harry"

"Don't worry, I'll call him on the way"

And you haven't wasted a minute. Nikki simply left her phone number and table number at the counter before you got into your car. Dom will retrieve Nikki one's later. Holland family been known from the restaurant, the staff were comprehensive about your leaving without paid the bill. When you arrived at the hospital, the nurses greeted you directly and wasted no time either. You were taken to the operating room without being able to get your boyfriend's support.

☙♥❧

Harry arrived within fifteen minutes of receiving the call from his mother. No doubt he would receive a speeding penalty ticket later. He looked like a madman, mortified by worry. He was a bundle of nerves and sarcasm. Her mother was standing by the reception desk, waiting for her. She looked anxious. Tom was there too, trying to contact their father on his phone. When Dom finally picked up, the oldest Holland brother announced the urgency. Harry was shaking with worry.

"What happened mom?"

"I don't really know, baby. We were at the restaurant and the babies kicked. She went to the bathroom and when she didn't come back, I went after her. That's where she asked me to come into the bathroom and you know the rest. I called you straight after that. " Nikki explained, trying to get the stress out of her.

"Oh my god… where is she now?"

"The medical staff took her for surgery. I had to wait here. I couldn't go with her, baby. I’m so sorry."

"Ok ... Ok, I guess I have to wait here. Hope she's okay. God, please make her be alright."

They all made their way to the operating theater hallway for the public to wait for more information. Tom was still on the phone with his father, explaining that it would be better if he stayed at home with Paddy so as not to overcrowd the waiting room. He promised his father that they would all give news as soon as possible. A nurse in a surgical gown entered ten minutes later.

“Who's the father of miss y/l/n's babies?”

“I am. Harry Holland, I’m the father!” he almost screamed and cried at the same time.

“Come with me”

Nikki stood up cautiously and walked over to the nurse. Harry was ready to follow the nurse without giving any further information to his family.

"Excuse me. Can you give us more information on her condition?" Nikki asked

"Sure. We had an emergency caesarean. The babies are fine but there seem to be some complications with the mother. The surgeon is taking care of her."

"Is she going to be okay?" Harry asked hastily.

"She's losing a lot of blood but we're doing our best. Now please follow me." She said to curly one.

☙♥❧

Harry followed her to the nursery. His heart was pounding in mixed emotions. He was so impatient to meet his babies but at the same time he was worried about you. What if you don't survive from the complications? What was to become of him? Would he be able to live without you? Would he be a good father?

His last question vanished when he saw his two little babies in the incubator. Your twins had arrived about fifteen, almost a month earlier than expected, it was normal that they were in an incubator. Harry was going to have to make sure they put on weight. After filling out a few papers, one of the nurses offered to do some skin-to-skin contact with the twins so that they could get to know the three of them. Harry could not but be impatient with this and once prepared he settled into a seat. He was overcome with emotion, understanding how his parents had felt when Sam and him were born. He completely forgets the time, spending several minutes with his sons, one after the other. Harry knew he would place all his love in the two little beings he had taken turns holding in his arms. He was ready to lift mountains, cross the tides. Part of his mind was on you and he truly hoped he could go through life's trials with you. May your family experience all the times they deserve.

The nurse who had brought him to the nursery go up to him with a half-smile. She was sorry to disturb him during this privileged father-son moment.

"Your ... hm ... miss (y/l/n) is in the recovery room. You can go see her now"

Harry's heart burst with relief. He let out a sigh he didn't know he was holding back. The very new father nodded before placing his son in the nurse's arms so that she could put him back in the incubator. He decided to go find his family who had been waiting too long now. When he entered the waiting room, his mother and brother were still seated. Tom had his elbows on his knees, the phone in his hand. He seemed to be talking to someone. When the actor noticed his brother's presence, he spoke to him.

"Hey mate, Sam's here. Wanna talk to him? What's up? Does y/n's alright? And the twins?"

"Too much question. Give me Sam first!"

But the result was exactly the same. Sam asked the same questions as Tom and Harry winced as he tried to answer consensually.

"Hello to you too, brother. The twins are fine. I swear to God Sam, they look like a mini version of us. Two sons by the way ... y/n is fine, she's in the recovery room, I'm going see her right after that. I wanted to talk to mom and Tom first. "

"Glad to know I'm the last to know." Sam informed sarcastically.

"Hey, I was going to call you but I had to, you know ... go meet my sons. Father's job, it seems."

Sam chuckled behind his phone screen as Harry smirked in a mischievous and petty manner. He ended the call with his twin and turned to his mother and Tom. Nikki made her understand that she had heard, she seemed relieved that you were okay.

"Hey, before I go see y/n ... you want to see your grandsons ... and you, your nephew and godson, asshole."

"Harry, language" said Nikki.

"Of course I want to see my godson, stupid"

"Tom!"

The two brothers smile at each other. Just because one became a father and the other was a movie star, didn't mean they were going to change their ways. It was also their way, both of them, to decompress events. Nikki sighed in annoyance but kept quiet, too happy to meet, even only through a window, her first grandchildren. After a brief walk in front of the nursery, Harry announced that he was going to find you, leaving his family to admire your twins. They seemed so impatient to meet them in person but knew they were going to have to wait while you woke up.

☙♥❧

Harry entered the recovery room and walked over to your bed. You seemed to have already woken up from your artificial sleep. He grabbed your hand to give you the support you needed. A feeling of emptiness was felt in you, your gaze landed on your stomach, flatter than you had seen in recent months. Your eyes widened in panic but the reassuring pressure of Harry's hand drew your attention to him.

"They are fine, my love. They are fine. They are in an incubator in the nursery."

You burst into tears. The emotions being so strong.

"I'm so sorry Harry. I'm sorry ..."

“Hey… hey… you don't have to. You're okay… the twins are okay. And I still love you, I love you more than ever."

"Have you seen them?"

"Yes ... ugly like their father" he joked

You chuckled with a few more tears in your voice. You knew he didn't mean it, but humor was Harry's best way to decompress, and it worked on you too.

"My family is here. You scared the hell out of them. I think Sam was about to order a flight to kick your ass."

You chuckled again. It was so impressive to see the love that reigned in this family. You could never have asked for a better way to build your own family. Harry leaned over to kiss you.

"I love you, y/n. You are my world. you three are my world now"

"I love you more, Harry."

You stayed a few more days before you could get out of the hospital. You had decided to introduce the twins after their own discharge from the hospital. That's why, after almost a month of going back and forth to the nursery, you could finally bring your twins home. So you organized a little visit to Harry's parents.

☙♥❧

The sun was shining on London and you squeezed the doorknob of one of the maxi-cozy, Harry carrying your second son as you opened the door to the Holland family home. You were amazed at the ease with which Harry assumed his role as father. He was doing so well that you fell in love with him again.

"Is there anyone here?" He asked

"We're all in the garden, buddy!" Tom said

"You are obviously in the kitchen, dummy"

"For god's sake, Harry. Come into this fucking garden and let us see the twins!"

You let out a frank laugh as you mentally noted that you were going to have to have a conversation with Harry and his brothers about the vocabulary they were using.

You are therefore entering the garden. You noticed right away that Sam had come all the way from Scotland. Harry must have organized this with him too. You smiled, Nikki rushed over to help you with the change bags and you thanked him.

"So where is my godson?" Tom asked in the same way he did at the FFH premiere when he was looking for Jake Gyllenhal.

"Where's mine?" Sam asked too.

You approached Sam, putting the maxycosy on the table to unbuckle the seat belt and take your son in your arms. Harry was doing the same with your second baby.

"I'm happy to introduce you y/s/n"

"And there's y/s/n(2)." Harry added, so proud.

Everyone raved about the twins as you wipe away a tear, happy and proud. You were so moved by the love that reigned. Harry came to kiss you on the forehead, you closed your eyes, appeased by his gesture. The world could only turn better in his company.

"It's family portrait time!" Nikki said, her camera in her hands. "Tom, please get closer to your brother. Sam, stand next to y / n"

You all followed Nikki's instructions, who couldn't be more than happy to capture this important moment, bringing her work and family life together. You all smiled as you and Harry were in the center of the photo, carrying your twins in your arms. And at that moment, you were sure that your life could not be more beautiful than at this moment.

#harry holland #harry holland blurb #harry holland x reader #harry holland request #harry holland x y/n #holland family x reader

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petersasteria · 3 years

Text

hope ur ok || holland!reader

sour masterlist || holland!reader || sour taglist

3,637 words tw: sad shit bc spoiler: someone dies, italics are flashbacks, bold is a letter i don't have a holland reader banner so i used the olivia banner instead. also, sorry for the delay of posting this lmao

* * * *

You were in your room, sitting on your bed as your eyes looked around. Your room was painted your favorite color and it made your brothers jealous because their rooms were painted white, it was boring. Yours had posters, polaroids of you and your siblings, fairy lights, a bean bag chair, and a simple full body mirror. You heard a knock on your door and you looked to see that it was Tom smiling brightly with a plate of your favorite cookies.

“Hey.” He said softly as he entered the room and shut the door behind him with his foot while balancing the plate of cookies in his hands.

“Hi.” You smiled.

“Sam kicked me out of the kitchen, but I was there first and fortunately, I finished the cookies on time. I hope they taste alright.” Tom said as he sat beside you, the plate of cookies in between you.

“They smell good, so you did a good job.” You chuckled. Tom took one cookie and looked at you, “Taste test.”

He took a bite and chewed it a few times before saying, “It tastes alright. It’s not like how Sam makes it, but I’m not Sam. I’m Tom.”

Both of you erupted into a fit of giggles as you talked about random things. The plate of cookies were now on your bedside table and only half of the cookies were eaten.

“Hey, how’s your friend?” Tom asked casually. Both of you were laying on your bed, facing the ceiling.

“Which friend?”

“The blond one who had one hell of a musical talent.” Tom said. “He used to come here and play on Sam’s piano.”

“Oh, James! I don’t really know what happened to him. We, uh, fell out of touch.”

“I see.” Tom said. “I hope he’s okay.”

“Same here.” You told him. “My friend, Madeline, got a scholarship last time I checked. She got accelerated in school and she got to attend uni ahead of us. I’m really proud of her, y’know?”

“Where is she now?” Tom asked.

You looked at Tom with sorrow in your eyes. He glanced at you and he could see how hurt you were. “We don’t talk...anymore. We used to. She’s basically like a sister to me, but we don’t talk anymore. Regardless, I’m really happy for her and I miss her. Wherever she is, I hope she’s alright.”

Suddenly, there was a knock on your door and Tom sat up quickly. The door opened and revealed Sam. “Hey, it’s time to eat dinner. You’re washing the dishes tonight, Tom!” Sam said before leaving.

“That little shit.” Tom laughed. “C’mon, Y/N. Let’s eat!” He got up from your bed and you followed suit with worry and concern in your eyes. You shook your head and shrugged it off. What you’ll say can wait.

Both of you went down to join everyone on the dining table. You sat in your usual seat, but didn’t contribute in the conversation. You were just happy to be there. You looked around and saw how happy your brothers were. You looked at your parents and saw them smiling. It was a beautiful sight to see. After all, all you wanted was for them to be happy. They deserve to be happy.

Harry and Tom cleaned up as you watched them help each other. “Next time, we should cook Y/N’s favorite dinner.” Tom said. Harry looked at him and shrugged, “Why not? I never liked it, but I’m sure she’d appreciate it very much.”

The next few days were spent with Tom. He never left your side and he made sure you were alright. You were the youngest and as the eldest Holland child, he made it his job to look after you. He wasn’t close with you before, but somehow as you grew older, it changed. Tom was now excited to spend time with you. He loved talking to you and he loved laughing with you. In his opinion, you make his stress and worries fade away.

Your birthday is coming up and he wanted everything planned out. He already had plans, actually. He knew what cake you wanted, he knew what decorations to put up, he planned the food, and he even had a theme in mind. He was really prepared. Paddy had to go with Tom in town just to buy balloons. Tom was really going all out.

“Are you going to help me set up tonight? Y/N’s birthday is tomorrow and I want her to be surprised when she wakes up. I can already imagine her face.” Tom smiled excitedly as he parked the car in the driveway.

“I can’t help you tonight. I have homework.” Paddy said as he looked at Tom who just shrugged. “Alright. No problem. Stay in school, Pads.” Tom smiled before exiting his car with Paddy following him.

They walked in and Tom saw you sitting on the arm of the couch with Sam and Harry. Tom smiled at the sight. “Hey, guys!” He greeted, causing the three of you to look at Tom and Paddy.

“Wow, you went shopping for a lot of things.” Harry pointed out.

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Sam asked with a grin.

“Nothing.” Tom smirked. “I’ll put these in my room.” Tom left and went upstairs to his room as Paddy walked to the couch and sat next to you. You looked at Paddy and smiled. You weren’t close with him, but you loved him dearly. You were only one year younger than him and he was always kind to you and you liked hanging out with him.

You looked at Sam and Harry and you held back a chuckle as you watch them annoy each other. It was a lovely sight to see.

Night time came and dinner was over a few hours ago. You were just standing in your backyard feeling the wind blowing and you knew that something was about to happen. You just didn’t know what. The backdoor opened and you turned around to see Tom with a small smile.

“What’re you doing out here? It’s cold.” He said as he tugged his jacket closer. He walked towards you and stood beside you. “What’s on your mind?”

You shrugged, “Nothing. I guess I’m just tired. I think I’ll rest now.”

Tom nodded. He suddenly remembered his plan and said, “Yeah, you can go upstairs now. I, uh, prepared your room.”

“Thank you.” You smiled at him. You walked towards the back door and stopped to turn around to look at Tom. He was already looking at you and you said, “I- Good night, Tom.”

“Good night, Y/N. Sweet dreams.” He smiled sweetly. You opened the door and walked in and went straight up the stairs to your room.

Tom stayed outside for a minute before walking in. He locked the back door and went to the living room where his brothers were. “Hey, guys! Ready to decorate?” Tom asked with a huge smile on his face. It was evident that he was excited.

“What’re you talking about?” Sam asked, looking at Tom with a confused face.

“Yeah, what’s happening?” Paddy questioned.

Tom scoffed and crossed his arms, “How could you guys forget?! It’s our sister’s birthday tomorrow and you guys aren’t preparing at all!”

Tom was yelling as the rest were looking at him sadly. Sam’s eyes were clouded with tears as he looked at Tom. Harry and Paddy looked at Sam, not wanting to be the ones to remind Tom. Sam sighed and closed his eyes and his tears fell. He wiped his tears and opened his eyes to face Tom.

“Tom, mate, she’s dead.” Sam said softly. “She’s been dead for two months now.”

“W-What are you talking about?” Tom shook his head slowly. He looked away from Sam and he saw you standing behind Sam. “She’s right there, Sam! She’s literally right behind you! How can you not see it?!”

“Tom, stop! She’s gone, okay?!” Harry exclaimed. “Y/N’s not here! She won’t be here anymore and it’ll be that way forever. We just have to accept that.”

“It was leukemia, Tom. She didn’t make it and we had a funeral and everything.” Paddy said softly.

You were confined in the hospital for about a week now and you were getting weaker and weaker as the days went on. Your family was trying to be positive, but all of you knew that it was your time to go. Before you were confined, you had written letters for them to read after you die and it was now hidden in their drawers.

Tom and Harry weren’t there when you passed because they were in a different country. They immediately went home when they heard the news. All of you knew that you weren’t going to make it, but all of you ignored that fact. Everyone except Tom was grieving. He held his mother as she cried and he stayed strong for his brothers. He couldn’t remember the last time he and his brothers slept in one room and he hated that they chose to do it again as soon as you were gone.

It was like a sleepover. They all talked about you and everything you did that the others didn’t know about. Turns out, you had secrets you shared with everyone except Tom.

“Wait, she told you guys about her secrets?” Tom asked that night.

“Yeah.” Harry nodded, eyes bloodshot from all the crying. “If something happens to her, she tells the first person she sees.”

“She never told me anything.” Tom stated.

“That’s because you’re the eldest. No one tells people about themselves to the eldest sibling.” Paddy answered.

“That’s unfortunate.” Tom frowned. “I wish I knew the things you knew.” He added.

“It’s alright, Tom. She didn’t have major secrets, anyway. Besides, she was just scared to tell you. That’s why she did that.” Sam explained.

Tom couldn’t sleep that night as he looked at his brothers. They were cuddled up next to each other and were fast asleep. Tom couldn’t help but think of you before finally drifting off. Days later, it was the funeral. The whole house was quiet and while your mum, Nikki, would appreciate it, for once in her life she wanted the noise. She wanted to hear boisterous laughing, heavy footsteps running up and down the stairs, yelling, the sound of Sam cutting vegetables, Dom’s loud typing, Paddy talking to his friend on the phone, Harry telling you to wake up and calling you a lazy bum for not being productive, and Tom playing with Tessa outside. Now, there was none of that.

When a husband or wife dies, the one they left behind is called a widow. When a child dies, what do you call their parents? No one’s ever come up with a word for that yet because it’s too painful to think about. You were young and you deserved all the best life has to offer. Nikki was devastated, but she knew that wherever you were, you aren’t in pain anymore and that was enough for her.

Tom wanted to scream, but he didn’t. He was numb. After the funeral, he and Harry decided to take a break from traveling to spend time with the rest of the family. He stopped working for a while and everyone understood that.

When they got home, Tom went straight to his room and cried. He cried and cried until no tears came out. His head ached, but he didn’t want to get up and get himself a glass of water. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table to ask Harry, but his phone died. Tom scoffed, sat up, and reached the drawer of his bedside table. He leaned over to look for his phone charger, but he saw a letter instead. It had his name on it and he realized that it was your handwriting. Tom quickly grabbed it and put his phone back on the bedside table. He opened the envelope and read what you wrote for him.

Dear Tom,

Hi. When you read this, you know that I'm gone. I'm sorry that we never got to bond a lot. I guess it's my fault because I was so scared of you. Despite that, I want you to know that I'm really happy for you and I'm proud of you.

You're my inspiration and please know that I'm very proud to be your sister.

I don't know where I'll end up when I'm gone, but please don't worry about me. I'll be okay, I can feel it. I'll just go where the wind takes me.

You're a kind person for the whole time I've known you. I'll miss everything and I'll miss your pranks and jokes. Please never stop doing those just because I'm gone. I hope you think of me whenever you tell a joke or pull a prank on Harry again.

I wish we bonded more. I wish we made cookies until Sam kicked us out of the kitchen because he needed to prepare for dinner. I wish we watched movies together and I wish we spoke often.

I'll miss you all the time and I love you. So much. Never forget that.

Your sister,

Y/N/N x

Tom cried again until he slept with the letter resting on his chest. The next morning, he got up to go to your room. He dreamt of you and he wanted to tell you about it. He glanced at the door and noticed that it was unlocked. He slowly opened it and to his surprise, he saw you standing there watching everyone outside from your window.

“Y/N.” Tom said.

You turned around and smiled at him, “Hey, Tom.”

“I dreamt of you! And in my dream, you were a ballet dancer. We did ballet together. Wouldn't that be something? It could be a bonding thing for us." Tom said with a big smile as he fully entered your room. All of a sudden, he forgot about your sickness, your death, your sickness. From an outsider's point of view, it was a sad sight to see. He was clearly in the denial stage.

Harry was on his way downstairs when he heard a voice coming from your room. He quietly opened the door and saw Tom excitedly talking to thin air.

"You know, I'm not doing anything anytime soon. Why don't we go out? It'll just be you and me, Y/N." Tom smiled. Harry's heart broke upon hearing this. His older brother was imagining their dead sister. Harry kept it to himself because he thought that Tom was coping that way.

It wasn't until Sam witnessed the same thing. Tom was in the kitchen and he was talking to thin air once more. Sam watched as Tom laughed and said a bunch of things. Sam kept it to himself too.

Paddy, however, was different. He went to Harry and Sam's room, unannounced. He closed and locked the door behind him as the twins looked at him in confusion.

"Okay, I can't be the only one to notice it." Paddy said with arms crossed.

"What're you talking about?" Harry asked.

"Tom." Was all Paddy said. The twins looked at each other before looking back at Paddy.

"What about him?" Sam asked, his eyebrows were raised a bit.

"Tom told me that he'll bake Y/N's favorite cookies tomorrow because Y/N said she was craving for it." Paddy explained.

"I saw Tom talking to thin air the day after the funeral. He was in Y/N's room." Harry confessed.

"I saw him doing that too, but he was in the kitchen this time. I'm worried about him." Sam said.

"What should we do?" Harry asked with a frown on his face.

"Let's just let him be for a while. Let’s just intervene when it gets out of hand.” Sam decided as the other two nodded.

They just let Tom be until they had enough.

Tom couldn't believe what his brothers were telling him. He felt sick to his stomach. His baby sister was gone and the thought of it ate him alive. He shook his head and Sam said, “Tom, everything will be alright. We’ll get through this together. We’ll be fine.”

“That can’t be true. I’ve been speaking to her. Stop fucking lying.” Tom cried.

“Tom, wake up! She’s not here, alright?! She’s not in her room anymore. Her things will forever be untouched and her books will be dusty. Her phone hasn’t been charged since she died and it’ll stay that way. All we have left are pictures, videos, and memories of her. We should accept that because no matter what happens, we can’t bring her back!” Harry said as his voice was raised.

“Just go to bed, mate. You’re tired.” Paddy said softly. “We’ll deal with this in the morning.”

Tom wiped his tears and went up to his room, slamming the door. He went to sleep and dreamt of you again. Both of you were on top of a small hill and the wind was blowing softly.

“Why can’t they see you?” Tom asked you.

“Because I only showed myself to you. I know that we haven’t been really close and I figured you’d want some kind of closure. In truth, I’m only here because of you. The light has been calling me and they want me to leave already, but I can’t because I know you’d be sad. I hate seeing you sad.” You explained.

“Then stay here.” Tom begged, but you shook your head.

“You need to let me go, Tom. It’s time. I can’t stay here forever.” You chuckled lightly.

“I just- I feel like nothing. When you were around, I felt like I had a purpose. Now, I just wish I could be with you.” He admitted.

“Don’t say that. Imagine how everyone will react if you’re gone. They’ll be upset. I’m so proud that you’re alive and well because you’ll get to go on with life and grow old. If you can’t do it for yourself, then do it for me. Live the life I never got to live. Trust me when I say that you’ll be happier when you move on.”

“I don’t want to forget you and I don’t want you to think that we’re having fun without you.” He said.

“I won’t think that way because all I ever wanted for all of you is to be happy and healthy. I love you and I miss you, but I want you to have fun and to keep doing everything you love. Don’t stop because I’m gone. Don’t let me be a hindrance because that’ll make me sad and I’ll haunt you forever.” You said as Tom chuckled. “Besides, you don’t have to forget about me. I’ll always be in your heart.”

“Alright.” Tom said. “I think I’m ready to let you go.”

You smiled and nodded as you walked away and stepped into the light. Tom shouted, “Happy birthday, Y/N!”

You looked back and smiled. With that, he knew you were thanking him not just for greeting, but also for everything.

Tom woke up and it was already morning. He decided to get ready and to head to the cemetery. He walked downstairs and saw his brothers eating breakfast.

“Where are you going?” Harry asked before eating his cereal.

“The cemetery. It’s Y/N’s birthday.” Tom said. “I’ll go now. I don’t know what time I’ll be back.”

Tom left and the drive to the cemetery was short and quiet. He parked the car and walked to your grave. He smiled when he saw a small, framed picture of you that Harry placed there not too long ago. He sat in front of your grave and smiled, “Hey, Y/N. I know you can hear me.”

“I guess I did look crazy for a while and I now understand how everyone felt. I, um, I read your letter. I’m sorry too, y’know? I’m sorry I never made the effort to spend time with you. I guess it’s because all my life, I’ve only known about having brothers and when you came along, I didn’t know how to act. But I’m really happy that I got to see you grow up and I’m happy with our few moments together.”

“When you were five, I was fourteen. It’s a wide gap and I remember being so annoyed because your toys were everywhere.” He chuckled at the thought. “Regardless, I loved you and I still do. I’m happy that you grew up to be kind and loving. I’m really fucking happy for that.”

“In your letter, you said that I shouldn’t worry about you. Y/N, I’m sorry, but I can’t promise that. I’m your older brother and that automatically makes me sort of like a second parent especially when mum and dad aren’t around. So, I’ll always worry about you even though I know you’re okay and not in pain.”

“I do, however, promise to always dedicate my pranks to you. I know you’d love that. I’d wish that we bonded, but we already did that. You gave me a chance to get to know the sister I never got to know and that, above all, makes me so happy and grateful. That’s enough for me.”

“I don’t want to say cheesy shit and ask for guidance. I don’t want to burden you in heaven. Like, it’s called a resting place for a reason and I want you to rest easy. I just want to say that I miss you so much and I love you. Happy birthday.” He finished.

Just then, he felt the wind blow in his direction and he knew that you were okay.

* * * *

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#tom holland #harry holland #sam holland #paddy holland #holland!reader #tom holland x holland!reader #petersasteria #k's works #sour album

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