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starkerhowlter · 1 year

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Princess Parker -- Chapter 2

Rating: M Ship: starker (tony stark / peter parker) Tags: Minor Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fashion Designer Peter Parker, Engineer Student Tony Stark, slow burn, stolen moments Summary: Tony Stark’s in love.

But not with the conventional. Instead, his soulmate is known for temper tantrums about pink lemonades that are too sour and scuffs on the toe of his Louboutin shoes. He’s materialistic, superficial, and cares way too much about his face.

So why can’t Tony stay away?

Read below or on AO3

Note: all underlined words are links to tumblr-hosted images with added information for the fic –

Hi! It's been 900 years since I last posted for this fic! As always this chapter was beta'd by my favorite human: @cozysafechaotic Shout out as well to my sprinting goblins in the Super Starkers Discord for their support as well and I hope you enjoy this chapter! --

Content warning: this chapter has a brief section about one of the main characters and an ex. It mentions light objectification and brief nondescriptive abuse. Please read with care.

2 -- Seeing Beauty in The Shallow

Tony's secret only lasts him four days before his friend group figures it out.

"Whatever you're thinking, stop thinking it," Bucky states watching as Tony scrolls the Designer Boy's Instagram showing him the eleventh photo since they sat down for lunch, "He's way out of your league, Stark. Don't even think about it."

"Don't even think about what?" Steve asks, walking up behind Bucky and kissing his forehead and joining the group.

Through the chatter of his friend group and the ambient hum of the Cafeteria, Tony suddenly hears it. The familiar sound of those Louboutin shoes, tapping on the tile floors, causing his head to shoot up. It takes a mere four seconds for him to find the boy, but when he does, his eyes widen. At the entrance to the cafeteria stands Peter. His hair is perfectly curled, a bomber jacket framing his blush pink crop top, and skinny jeans hug his calves. He looks immaculate. The man sighs dreamily, accidentally dropping his elbow into his mashed potatoes. His friends laugh softly, handing him napkins. He blushes, wiping the food off his arm.

"I'm guessing you saw him?" Steve asks, looking around the lunchroom. He catches sight of the boy and his entourage and rolls his eyes, "What do you see in shallow people, Tony?"

"I don't know. He's pretty, he's smart...." Tony sighs, eating his bland food and listening to Clint retell the failure of his last archery practice. He tries listening, really he does, but he can't help but watch the boy eat strawberries and talk to the girls in his group. The way his lips wrap around each piece of fruit, the little bit of juice left behind…

"Where, in his superficial body, do you see an ounce of brain? All I see is plastic, designer clothes, and daddy's money," Sam sighs, “There’s no hope in him wanting someone like you. You have one too many brain cells for his liking. That boy wants a dumb, empty-brained golden retriever to worship his every thought and to tell him he looks pretty.”

“Sam’s right, T. I’m afraid you are just itching to get your heart broken…” Bruce replies, looking up from his notepad, “I mean, people like him don’t settle down. They skip.”

“They’re right,” Clint interjects, burger grease dripping down his hand, “and you know it.”

Tony tunes their judgemental voices out, taking the last bite of his meal. "That's it. I'm going to the lab." he drops his fork and rises from the table. He picks up his black backpack and walks out of the cafeteria.

What Tony doesn't see, though, is Peter's eyes following him out of the cafeteria, longing sparkling against the honey in his eyes.

"Focus, Peter! He's not worth your time. He can't afford you." Loki snaps their manicured fingers in his face and rolls their eyes, "Did you get any of Gucci's new set in the post yet?"

"Nah, but I got Alexander McQueen's new SS23 collection sent to my Aunt's mansion. It's gorgeous," Peter sighs, "I think I have Extremis's new collection coming next week as well.

"Which set of theirs?" Natasha asks, leaning against the table..

"The Winter '22 set."

"But that isn't out yet!" Loki shouts, "How did you get a hold of a pass for that?!"

"It pays to know people, sweetheart," Peter smirks, turning his lavender-coloured laptop around to show off the email from Extremis Enterprises, congratulating him on being selected for exclusive access. "And I know Mr Keener himself. He's an... old friend of mine."

'Old friend is an understatement,' Peter thinks.

*****

Everything Peter is now is based on what Harley provided him. The training, the clothing, the finances, the education... It's all Harley.

The two had known each other since middle school, having met under the tree on the playground where Peter sat every day with his PB&J on wheat and sketched dress after dress. He'd always loved fashion and the idea that anyone could create outfits like the ones he saw at Paris Fashion Week when his mother took him for her job.

Harley saw him drawing one day and asked what he was doing, and with that, the two became inseparable.

After graduation though is when things got too real.

Harley came into some money from an unknown source and wanted to supply Peter with his dreams.

So they came to an agreement -- a sort of benefactor relationship where Harley could take care of and protect him while clothing him in the finest fabrics money could buy, ensuring Peter's reliance on Harley. The relationship was good… at first. They had agreed from the start, Peter was exclusively arm candy... No sex, no dating, no exclusivity. Then Harley introduced Peter as "That’s my boyfriend, Peter Parker." and everything they’d built up came to crashing halt.

Words were shouted, shoes were thrown, and lines were crossed. Everything became about sex between them. If Peter wanted a new outfit, Harley demanded compensation. He made Peter pay for what he wanted, not with money, but with the cost of his body.

It only spiralled more from there. The two began fighting over everything from the colour of the thread to who paid for dinner. Peter decided it was best to cut ties and go back to his home in Queens and abandon the life of luxury Harley had built for him. He feared that Harley wouldn't allow him to have the clothing and items that had become staples of his life, but before being his Sugar daddy, Harley was his friend.

"I think we should just be friends. This benefactor thing isn't working, Harls. I feel like we're just falling apart and losing our love for each other and for the art of fashion."

Smiling through the obvious pain in his heart, Harley replied, "I agree. But I want you to take the clothes I bought you. Please keep living luxuriously, Princess. Just because you hate me now, doesn't mean you should go back to mundanity and throw away everything I’ve done for you. You're worth more than that. You and I both know that." The two kissed one last time before they packed the thousands of clothes into boxes. Harley paid his university bills and sent him on his way.

****

"An old friend?" Loki asks, "Surely you aren't talking about..."

"Loki Laufeyson, I swear to gods if you do not shut up, I won't allow you to borrow any of my Tiffany jewellery for the spring gala."

Loki, ever the diva, slapped their hands over their mouth, eyes wide as they nodded. "Okay, I'll shut up" Loki replies, hand covering their mouth dramatically.

"What are you guys talking about?" Gwen tilts her head, blonde hair covering half of her face.

Loki removes their hand, prodding Peter’s side, "You wanna tell them?"

"I told you to shut up about it!" Peter shouts, voice high and whiny, hands slamming onto the table. The people seated at the next three tables glance in his direction, and a few of the girls serve him unimpressed looks. He rolls his eyes, people can be so dramatic sometimes. This was a life-or-death situation!

"Alright, alright!" Pepper tries, her attempt at diffusing the situation falling on deaf ears. “Natasha, do you still have my limited edition lilac 2005 Lady Dior handbag?”

“I do, but honestly. I don’t want to give it back!” Natasha laughs, explaining her plans for the purse. conversation Peter can be tuning out?”

He huffs, unzipping his backpack and pulling out the latest edition of Vogue and opening to a dog-eared page. He picks up his pink lemonade and takes a delicate sip, ignoring the people around him.

A few days later, Peter walks into the classroom and was momentarily caught off guard, though he hid his shock well as he settled into his seat. Sat on top of the dark wood was a Strawberries & Cream Frappe with dried strawberries on top; his name was written clearly and perfectly on the side and a small ring of condensation gathered on the desk beneath it. He smirked to himself as he pulled his stationary from his bag, glancing at the cup occasionally.

Tony stares nervously, hoping that the boy liked the surprise.

His outfit looks like sin itself. Dressed in a flowy pink blouse, black dress shorts hugging his hips, and a crisscross of fishnet thread leading from underneath them to the tops of those damn boots. Gods, Tony would kill to see trace those strings all the way up his legs. The heels of his designer ankle boots click against the tile in the classroom as the boy crosses his desk, he glances at the cup before sitting down and seemingly ignoring it. Tony wonders if he should have put his name on it as well so the boy wouldn’t have to worry if it was laced. He blushes slightly at the smile on the boy's face, knowing he's the one that put it there.

"Hey, Peter!" Peter smiles at Pepper and Gwen, as they sit at the desks next to him. "Where did that come from?"

"I don't know it was here when I arrived." Peter shrugs nonchalantly, "Probably from someone who thinks they have a chance. You can have it if you want.”

"Peter, you are out of your mind if you think for one moment that I am going to drink a random nondescript drink from someone that was left on your desk.”

“Seriously Peter! It could be laced or poisoned or ew! What if some boy did something, even worse to it” Gwen shuddered as she looked away from the drink.

"Fair. But I am not going to throw it away until after we leave," He murmurs.

Their conversation is cut off when the teacher walks in, and Tony sighs longingly, 'what will it take for him to love me?'

-_–_-_

Thank you so much for reading!! Comments and likes are much appreciated!!

#shut up nika #tony x peter #starker

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magicbystarlight · 3 years

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Before I Knew You - Part Three

Masterlist, Part One

Summary: You’ve spent years training under Madam Pomfrey in the hopes that you would join the Healers at St. Mungo’s at graduation. But in the aftermath of the death of Albus Dumbledore, you chose to join the Order instead. When you're forced into hiding, you find yourself alone with Bill Weasley and his new wolfish tendencies.

Word Count: 3,043

Warnings: 18+, Mentions of death threats Minors DNI.

Before I Knew You Tag List: @believinghurts @frozenwisteria

HP Tag List: @bamboozledflamplant

Several hours later you woke up from a surprisingly pleasant rest. The time you'd spent on the farm had been full of sleepless nights and fitful sleeps. You'd slept for at least a few hours as the room was dark and the moon was the only source of light trickling through the window.

The Burrow, you realized, was quiet. Your brief time there and knowing the Weasley siblings, you could guess that meant everyone else was asleep. You considered going back to bed yourself, but your stomach grumbled in protest. Slipping out of the bed, you did your best to be silent as you opened the door and made your way down the stairs. Mrs. Weasley's warning about the twins' bedroom being across from you still rang in your head and you cast a quick spell to ensure they hadn't accidentally left any traps for you to stumble into.

Halfway down the stairs, a light could be seen. As you descended further, you could see it coming from the very room you were heading. You considered heading back in case whoever was in there didn’t want to be interrupted as you were certain they had to be using a Silencing Charm, but as your full weight settled on step it creaked beneath you.

Mrs. Weasley’s head popped out from around the corner, a scowl in her face and mouth open ready to speak. The scowl disappeared as she took in the sight of you, a sad smile replacing it as she gestured you towards the kitchen. You followed, feeling as if you’d walked through a spider's web when you passed into the kitchen. Definitely a Silencing Charm.

In the kitchen, seated at the large table, were several familiar faces: Bill, Mr. Weasley, Remus, Tonks, and Alastor. It seemed they had been in a meeting.

“Nice of you to finally join us,” Alastor gruff voice greeted, his non magical eye locked on you.

“Alastor! You watch your tone or I’ll send her straight back to bed,” Mrs. Weasley chided, her arm wrapping around your shoulder as she shook her head at the man. “Are you hungry,dear? I saved you a plate from dinner. You don’t mind bangers and mash, do you?”

“Don't mind at all, but I think I’ll wait until after Moody interrogates me.”

From the pleased expression on Alastor’s face, you knew you had assumed correctly on what laid ahead for you. His eyebrows raised victoriously at the Weasley Matriarch. Everyone else, however, was not.

“You had a rough day, you gotta eat something first. Mad Eye can wait,” Tonks said, murmurs of agreement following.

You shook your head, already feeling guilty that they had probably been there for a while waiting for you. You wanted this over and done with. “I’m fine, really. I’d rather get this over with.”

There were more rebuttals to this, Mrs. Weasley and Alastor going back and forth for a minute about it. Before you could speak again, Bill caught your eye as he leaned back casually in his chair that was pushed slightly away from the table with arms crossed. His voice was just loud enough to be heard over the squabbling between his mother and the auror as he said, “Eat. We have other pressing issues to discuss before that anyways."

He cocked his head to the side in warning as you opened your mouth to reiterate your point. “Fine,” you muttered, taking the empty seat next to Tonks. A minute later, you had your food and you began to eat quietly as the others discussed details of missions and rumors they'd been hearing. You were only half listening, too busy trying to gather your own details of what would be asked of you. But the mention of Charlie got your attention.

"When will Charlie be here?" Remus asked.

Mr. Weasley replied, "Some time tomorrow."

"Charlie's coming? Isn't the wedding more than a week away?" you asked, your head perked up. Charlie hated leaving his dragons. You couldn't imagine him leaving them for that long for a party. There was an exchange of glances around the table that you didn't miss. It was more than a party.

It was Tonks who spoke first. "She should know. We might even need her."

"No," Bill and Remus spoke in unison. "She's been through enough already," Mrs. Weasley added.

"Hasn't everyone at this table?" Mr. Weasley argued, ignoring the withering look his wife sent him. "We don't really have the luxury of deciding who can and cannot help if they're of age."

"She was just attacked!" Remus nearly yelled.

"And as long as Voldemort and his Death Eaters are a threat, it could happen again. She asked to join the Order. Like Tonks said, we may need her. Mundungus isn't exactly reliable and we need numbers."

Bill shook his head, "We'll have the numbers. Fred said Lee and Angelina would be trustworthy if we needed them."

Your fork clattered against the empty plate loudly as you dropped it. "Would you mind not talking about me like I'm not here? If I'm needed for something, I'll do it. But at the very least I should know what's going on. If it's something big and someone could get hurt, I should be prepared."

More glances were exchanged and you bit the inside of your lip to not say more from frustration. Alastor, seeming to have won this battle as Remus slumped back against his chair, locked both eyes on you. "Harry Potter is currently in a place under a protection spell that makes him impossible to get to. That spell breaks the moment he turns seventeen. Voldemort knows this. We can't wait until then to move him, so we're going to do it a few days before. Can't use most of the networks since we don't know who works for who in the Ministry. We'll fly but we're sure someone is watching the place so no matter when we go, there's a chance of a fight and Harry would be the primary target."

"So you need a lot of people to guard him," you stated.

"Ehh, yes but no. We're going to need a lot of people to be Harry."

The sentence didn't make sense. Be Harry? How could they be—Oh. "Polyjuice Potion."

He wagged his finger at you. "Exactly! We've planned for six dupes for a total of seven Harrys with their own guard. But we need alternates in case someone backs out or disappears before then."

"Alternates we have," Bill said.

You sent him a sharp look. "In any case," you said, annoyance dripping from your voice, "if you need me, I'll be there. Otherwise, I should be wherever you plan to meet up. I am supposed to be the Healer." You waited for someone to argue with you, but no one did. At least not out loud. Both Bill and Remus had clenched jaws, staring at the table as if it had thrown a nasty insult at them.

"Good. Molly, if it's alright with you, we can keep her here then. I know things will be tight, but it's safer than moving her all about and the less movement here the better."

She nodded at Alastor. "Of course. She can keep Per—she can keep the room. Charlie can bunk with Bill."

"Thank you," he said, his magical eye whirring to life and going in circles. "Now I think we need to discuss what happened at the farm today and your relationship with Cillian Yaxley and his father."

You sat up straighter, taking a deep breath. You could feel Tonks' hand covering yours, but you didn't look. You focused solely on the older Auror and tried to forget how many people were in the room. "Where would you like to start?"

"From the beginning, please."

"We met through a friend of a friend in my Fifth Year…" you began to explain. You spared intimate details where you could, but you gave everything important up. It wasn't as hard to remember the good times now that you'd allowed yourself the time to grieve it. But when you got to the end, it was harder to ignore the squeeze of your heart.

"He left for Siberia the day before I returned to Hogwarts. A couple weeks later I received a letter from Corbin. He'd written me a letter telling me he wouldn't let some disgusting Mudblood continue to defile his son and their good name. I was given the choice of writing Cillian and ending it or Corbin would go after my parents. He included quite a few photos of them," you summoned the stack from one of your bags upstairs, letting them land with a thud a moment later in the middle of the table. One was of them leaving the house. Another of your mother in her white coat through a window of the hospital she worked at. One of your father up close, as if it had been taken by someone within a few feet of him. "I wrote to Cillian that same night. Told him I realized I wanted distance and that I should get to enjoy my last year without some guy living in another country tying me down."

"And how did he take that?"

"He eventually stopped writing. Either in December or early January, I can't really remember." You knew very well that the last letter you'd received from him had been on the fifth of January.

"Was he angry? Did he make any threats?"

Your voice cracked as you said, "No." His letters were sad and confused. Most had tear stains on them. He was hurt, begging to fix whatever had been broken. Even his last letter ended with ‘I still love you’.

He's not the same person.

"I think that's all we needed," Tonks said, her hand still over yours.

"We haven't even talked about the attack," you said, barely able to keep the trembling out of your voice. "We don't know how he found me or even how he knew I was working with you." You'd gone completely off the radar after stepping off the train in June. You hadn't even written any letters.

"They found you through Muggle records," Remus said. "Your name was apparently put on the deed for the farm and it was automatically filed at the Ministry. One of their spies must have seen you talking to Tonks and I at the funeral and made the connection."

Out of all the magical ways you could have dreamed up, you'd never expected such a simple answer. Muggle records. They'd known where you were all along. They could have come after you sooner, but Corbin had waited. Waited until Cillian was back and had blood on his hands. How many times had Corbin been just on the other side of the protections figuring out how to break them?

The picture of your smiling parents eating dinner taken through the window of the kitchen replayed on a loop in front of you. No one had dared touch the stack of photos, not even Alastor. But his magical eye had roved over them enough times that you were sure he knew them better than you.

"I think we're all done for the night," Mrs. Weasley said, pushing out her chair and standing up. "Best we all get some rest, got quite a few long days ahead of us.”

Chairs scraped against the floor loudly in the mostly silent kitchen. A few rushed goodbyes from the non Weasleys, a tight hug from Tonks, and a promise from Remus to check in on you soon and then you were alone with the Weasleys again.

“Bill dear, would you mind walking her up? Your father and I are going to clean up a bit.” From the suddenly pale face of Mr. Weasley, you had a feeling they would not be cleaning.

The walk up was quiet and tense. The distinct taste of betrayal still lingered on your tongue. He’d tried to keep you out of the loop and had now stopped you twice from doing your job within the Order. You weren’t much younger than his brothers and they’d gone on many dangerous missions according to Tonks. They’d also been able to supply the Order with whatever clever idea they’d come up with, no questions asked. Because that was their job.

“Are you going to be alright?” he asked as you stopped at the door to the neat and organized room.

You were already opening the door as you said, “I’ll be fine. Good night.” You didn’t look back at him, shutting the door behind you before you could see the longing expression on his face.

Sleep hadn’t come as easily the second time. It hadn’t come at all. You stared at the ceiling until the sun rose. The sounds of a waking house began to filter in but you continued to stare at the ceiling. It wasn’t until a loud crack and scurried feet rushing outside did you finally decide to venture out.

You could hear loud, excited conversation as you freshened up and changed. A familiar, booming laugh brought a smile back to your face. You rushed downstairs, greeted by the sight of eight red haired people.

The dragon keeper screeched your name happily as he wrapped you in a bone crushing hug at the bottom of the steps. The last time you had seen him was the funeral and the short time he’d been at Hogwarts after his brother’s attack hadn’t been a joyful reunion.

“Hey,” you said as he put you down, your smile wider than before. “Didn’t think I’d be seeing you till the wedding.”

He slung an arm around your shoulder as he pulled you along to the rest of the waiting family. "Didn't think I'd be seeing you here either, kid. What, farming isn't your thing?"

"Something like that."

"Oh, you haven't heard?" Fred asked, his eyes gleaming as you turned rigged. "Her ex boyfriend, the Death Eater, showed up and tried to kill her. And I thought Bill's break up was brutal."

The lightness of the room disappeared, Mrs. Weasley's shrill voice yelling at the elder twin. His response sounded defensive, but you weren't listening. Bill's face was stone as he stared into the floor. The scars seemed more prominent as he stood there and you wondered if the pain was too.

Your attention to him was disrupted as Fred left the room, presumably sent by his heaving mother. "Oh dear, I'm so sorry about that!"

Charlie's grip on your shoulder was tighter than before, pulling you into his side protectively. "It's not a secret. It's bound to be brought up a few more times."

"You don't need to make excuses for him," Charlie said, glaring at where Fred had disappeared. "He shouldn't have said it like that."

"I'm not making any excuses for him. I'm telling you that I'll have to get used to it. I'm fine. No one else owes me an apology." Bill hadn't stopped staring at the floor though no one else seemed to notice. "Bill?"

"Hmm?" he asked, looking up but not meeting your eyes.

"We should get the physical done," you said softly. He nodded, heading past you and up the stairs without a word. "I'll catch up with you in a bit, Charlie." Charlie gave a squeeze before dropping his arm and you followed quickly after Bill.

He had paused at the top of the third floor. "Um, your room or mine?" he asked.

"Wherever you feel more comfortable."

He nodded, heading into the room you'd been staying in. It was quiet between you two just like it had been last night as you worked on the man sitting on the unmade bed. There were a lot of questions you wanted to ask, some less medical than you should, but you held off. You focused on the diagnostic spells, checking his vitals, asking simple yes or no questions. He seemed in good shape, better even than he had been last time you'd seen him.

"Go ahead and take off your shirt," you said, stepping back to retrieve your notebook to write down what you’d gotten so far. You scribbled quickly, jotting down anything important. A moment later, you looked up to find Bill staring at you, shirt still on. “You okay?”

He swallowed hard, averting his gaze. “Yeah, yeah, sorry.”

You planted your gaze back on the parchment in front of you as he pulled the shirt off and over his head. Patients always hated being watched in their more vulnerable moments. When you looked back up, his chest was bare save for the long, jagged, barely healed gashes across it. They didn’t look worse, but they also didn’t look better. Your heart ached again for him.

“Do they ever hurt?”

“Around the full moon they did. But everything hurt then.”

“Why didn’t you come see me?” you asked, mortified at the thought of him being in pain you may have been able to stop.

He shrugged, his tone dismissive. “It wasn’t that bad. You’ve got other things to deal with and I’ve been hit with enough curses to be able to handle it.”

You stood in front of him, trying to keep your professional demeanor as you said, “It doesn’t matter if you can handle it. My job is to keep you healthy and alive. Being pointlessly in pain like that will only make it harder to do your job.” You shook your head, go smacked that he hadn’t said a word about it before. “And me knowing what you’re going through right now is important. There’s a high probability Greyback could do this to someone else.”

He said nothing.

“Is there anything else you’ve been experiencing that I should know?”

His answer was quick. “No.” Too quick.

“Bill.”

“There’s nothing else, okay?” he snapped. “Thanks for the checkup.” He grabbed his shirt from the bed and walked out.

Annoyance and frustration bubbled in your chest. All you wanted was to do your job and to help him, to help the Order, and to help those the Order was trying to protect. But Bill Weasley didn’t seem to care.

#bill weasley x y/n #bill weasley x reader #bill weasley x you #bill weasley smut #weasley brothers #bill Weasley #bill weasley fanfiction #bill weasley x fem!reader #bill weasley x hufflepuff!reader #hufflepuff reader #fem reader

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luverofralts · 2 years

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Arkhelios University

“You’re pregnant?”

Abe tried not to flinch at the horror in Roman’s voice. He’d had the same reaction, so it was only fair that he give Roman that same chance to work through his feelings. Still, it felt like he was trapped in a bad rerun of their life when Roman looked as though he was about to run in any direction that wasn’t here.

“You can try to be more supportive,” Abe replied tensely. “Don’t even think about running away for days to process this either. You’re responsible for this too, you know.”

“Ulyssa promised me that spell would work,” Roman whispered, trying to work out in his brain just how this had happened. “She doesn’t have any recent kids, and she told me it would work.”

“Well, she’s a far better magic user than you are! Maybe you should have thought about that before you insisted on switching to birth control that’s based in magic. You’re a pretty shitty wizard Roman.”

“I don’t want more kids, I was done,” Roman groaned, smacking his head with his hand. “I want to start my career, I’ve been making plans about a down payment for a restaurant one day when I’m not stuck at home changing diapers. I’m covered in mashed up toddler cereal most of the day and I have mindless kid television shows stuck in my brain when I try to sleep at night.” He closed his eyes, waiting for the room to stop spinning. “Four kids. Four kids, Abe. We’re not even twenty five and we’re practically the Durants. What are we going to do?”

“Get better at magic,” Abe snapped quickly, then thought better of his reaction. He’d gone through this stage too when he watched the pregnancy test turn positive. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I was shocked too. This wasn’t how we planned things out, but I did want more kids with you. I just thought the twins would be a little older before we started trying.”

“I had so many things I wanted to do. When are we going to get married? What will everyone say? You know your sister’s going to have a field day with this.”

“My sister doesn’t matter,” Abe replied. “Her life is a bigger mess than ours, if she says anything, we’ll just bring up Ulyssa. Problem solved.”

Roman tried to smile.

“Yeah, I guess so,” he said slowly. “We’re in a much better place than when we had Theo at least. We have a place to live, and we’re getting married. You’re not cheating on me with fifty guys-”

“And you’re not trying to ruin Lucy’s career because of your paranoia,” Abe finished. If Roman wanted to bring up the past, then two could play that game.

The events of his brief time in the void with Gareth rose unbidden to his mind. There would be no forgetting the horrible, hollow scraping voice that had plagued him.

“My paranoia? You almost died, Abe! There was a void and my mother and-” Roman stopped mid sentence as a new thought occurred to him. “We still don’t have a deal to protect you. Just because things are quiet now, doesn’t mean that you’re safe.”

“Roman, I didn’t mean that-”

Abe groaned as he realized what he’d done. Roman had been calm for a while now about Abe’s safety, but mentioning the threat had instantly re-materialized Roman’s fears.

“We have to make a deal now, tonight,” Roman insisted as his mind tried to balance the fear of having another mouth to feed with the fear that Abe could die at any second.

“Roman, no, it’s-”

“She can find connections to me through others,” Roman nearly shouted, his voice filling with panic. “She’s already found you before, and now you have a connection to me growing inside you! Abe, that’s how she found Adrian. He died because of me! The same thing is going to happen to you! I can’t lose you!”

Abe tried to reign in Roman’s fears, but he was already pacing, his mind going wild with fears.

“What if the blood magic hasn’t subsided completely? Me and Adrian were no problem, but you and me? What if we make another kid with Theo’s abilities?”

In his short life, Theo had thoroughly learned the value of eavesdropping. His parents said that it was rude and that people shouldn’t do it, but why should he listen to them? His parents were liars. It was possible for grownups to have kids they didn’t want. They were afraid of his powers. They were worried about having another kid that would be just like him. His sisters were normal, and he was not.

“The contract has been terminated, and we’re not connected anymore,” Abe stated firmly. “The build up of magic in Theo stopped when your grandmother made our deal. He’s lived for years now past when he was supposed to have died. We’re going to be fine, Roman. Stop worrying.”

“You don’t understand,” Roman insisted. “We’re going to get a deal made now. I don’t care what it’s about, it only matters if it connects us. Get your coat, we’ll bring the kids to Lucy’s and call one of her co-workers. Someone she trusts. If we’re going to have this kid, I refuse to let you spend nine months exposed like Adrian was.”

“If we’re having this kid?” Abe repeated incredulously. “I don’t remember having a conversation with you about if we’re having a baby.”

Roman sighed, and tried to massage away the headache that was starting in his temples.

“You’re what’s important to me,” Roman replied quickly. “We can have other pregnancies, I can’t replace you. Abe, Adrian is dead. Dead. He didn’t get to see our kids. He doesn’t get to live a life that was stolen from him and it’s because of me! I couldn’t protect him, but I can protect you. Please, let me protect you before I lose you. Before Theo loses you. Let’s go find a demon. We can transfer the deal to me after the five years are up. We can get married. It could be a wedding contract. Please, Abe.”

“Your mother tried everything she could to kill me or Theo when I was pregnant before. She could have done so much more to us, but she didn’t. I’m not going to let some stranger hold a promise between the two of us. I’m just not. It’s giving too much power to someone I don’t know if I can trust.”

“She couldn’t do everything she wanted last time because she had something to lose,” Roman shouted, starting to pace. “She had an estranged father running an illegal scam here. She had a life built up, and me to train in the family business. She has nothing now, Abe. She has nothing to lose. Adrian-”

“Stop bringing up Adrian!” Abe snapped angrily. “He’s dead, and I’m sorry about that! I’m not him though, and I’m sick of you constantly comparing us! I’m sick of hearing his name, and what he would do, and how much better he was for you than me! I get it, loud and clear, trust me. He could provide for you better than I can! He was more understanding about the supernatural than I am! But he’s gone and you’re stuck with me, the guy you knocked up in high school before we had a chance to meet other richer, more perfect men to be with. I’m so sorry that I got pregnant at sixteen and inconvenienced you. Did I plan on being a teenage father? No, but those are the cards we were dealt, Roman! Since you love your stupid cards so much, you’d think that you’d understand that concept!”

“What part of this aren’t you understanding?” Roman demanded, his voice as cold as ice. “This isn’t a game, Abe. You don’t understand what you’re up against. All you can think about is your petty jealousy over someone I was divorcing anyway. We need to think about this logically. Remember logic? Have you ever understood it?”

“You can’t decide things like this with logic,” Abe shouted, startling Theo in the hall. He’d never heard his parents this angry at each other before. “You were the one who suggested leaving Theo in Strangetown because it made sense and where would we be if we had? He’d be dead, probably along with us!”

“We almost died anyway!” Roman retorted with a glare. “At least I meant it when I said I’d take care of him! You abandoned us the moment you stepped foot on that university campus. I was the one who was willing to be his primary caregiver. If it was up to you, your mother would be raising him while you cheated on me. What have you given up to have him? You have a career. You put in the minimum amount of effort you can with the kids, and then are surprised when I have hesitations about having more. I want this baby more than anything, if you’ll protect yourself from the real risks, and will help me. You can’t be your mother and just leave your husband with the kids all day while you do what you want. I can’t live your dad’s life!”

“Oh, we’re bad mouthing mothers are we? Well, yours-”

Theo couldn’t listen anymore. He didn’t understand a lot of what his parents were saying, but the message behind all the grownup talk was clear. His parents really didn’t want him around. He had ruined their lives, and he was getting another brother or sister that they were terribly afraid would turn out to be just like him. Everyone at school was right. He was a monster who ruined lives, and even his own parents had reservations about raising him. There was only one thing he could do now. He had to remove himself from the people he was hurting, and make their lives happy again.

Theo hurried to his room and grabbed his school backpack off the floor. He dumped all the work books and math sheets out of it and filled it with supplies he’d need. The blanket his aunt Lucy had knit him would keep him warm wherever he went and there were still two granola bars from his lunch he hadn’t eaten. He didn’t know what else he’d need or where he’d even go, as long as it wasn’t here.

After changing out of his pajamas, and grabbing a coat, Theo knelt to hug Renarde goodbye.

“I’ll come get you someday,” he promised, rubbing his floppy doggy ears goodbye. “I promise.”

It was hard to say goodbye to his pet, but even harder to say goodbye to his sisters. The twins were just babies, but he’d miss them too.

“Don’t worry, you’re going to have a new brother or sister,” he promised tearfully. “They’ll take care of you like I couldn’t. I’m going to miss you though. I hope you’ll miss me too.”

With his goodbyes said, Theo searched his mind for a place where he felt safe and where he wouldn’t bother anyone. There were a few options. He didn’t have a plan in mind, so he’d try them all until he was sure where he wanted to live. He waved a final tearful good to his sisters and then vanished in a puff of smoke.

“Theo? Your light’s still on, buddy. We talked about saving electricity, remember?”

Roman knocked on his son’s closed bedroom door, expecting to find Theo passed out on his couch with the TV blaring. Instead, the room was empty.

Roman stepped in the room, looking for any trace of his son. The bed was messy, but empty, and Roman couldn’t find him on the couch. His closet was open with some shirts pulled out and dumped unceremoniously on the floor. Roman worriedly checked under the bed, but all he found was the dog, chewing on one of Theo’s stuffed animals.

“Theo?”

Panic was beginning to grip Roman, as he searched for his son. He was sure that he hadn’t seen Theo downstairs. He and Abe had reached an impasse in their discussion about what measures were needed to keep Abe safe, but they’d at least come to agree that this new baby was exciting news that they were happy about. They’d tell people when another month had passed just to be safe, or earlier if Abe had terrible morning sickness like he’d had with Theo that they couldn’t explain away. It was a shock going from being cautiously optimistic about a new baby to this awful feeling of panic looking for their oldest child.

A lone piece of paper caught his eye on Theo’s usually messy desk. On the page was a picture of Roman, Abe, the twins and a new baby, with a sad Theo far away from them.

“Abe?” he shouted in horror, staring at the unhappy drawing on the page with the badly scrawled message: Bye. I love you, I’m sorry -Theo

“Abe!”

Roman didn’t even pause to think about what he was doing. Some basic instinct took hold of him that allowed him the ability to use his body while his brain had shut down entirely.

“Call your mom!” he screamed as he ran past a bewildered Abe. “Call Lucy! I’m calling Melvin right now, we need to look for him! I-I don’t- start calling!”

“Roman?”

“Theo heard us talking about the baby- about him,” Roman sputtered, somehow managing to misdial 911 twice in his panic. “Abe, he’s run away! He could be anywhere! We have to hope that he’s just down the street at your mother’s. I think he’s been lying to us about how restrictive his necklace is now. No, I know he’s been lying to us, because that’s what I would do in his position. He could be anywhere!”

#sims 2 #arkhelios #arkhelios university #Roman Bellamy #Abe chun #sim: Theo Bellamy #sim: Luciana Bellamy #sim: Adrienne Bellamy #sims 2 pictures

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svgarpills · 2 years

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hi I saw that you expanded, thats great and I was gonna request a Marcanne (Marcy x Anne) but I wasn't sure what exactly to ask for because now I'm in a mood for fluff but I might change over the course of the day and I'm not sure what other's might want so it could just be of your choosing

I'm a slut for marcanne fluff so i'll go with that SHDFG

Ship: Marcanne

Characters: Anne Boonchuy, Marcy Wu, Anne Boonchuy's Parents, mentions of Sasha Waybright

Warnings: like 1 slightly suggestive joke but barely suggestive

Notes: Can be seen as either not canon compliant or pre-amphibia

Summary: Anne knows there's only one way to distract Marcy long enough for her to win the game they're playing.

Anne sighs once again as her character's health bar once again falls to zero, the avatar crumples to the ground with a defeated look as Marcy's stands victoriously. They've been playing for hours, and Anne has only won once. Even then, it was only because Marcy had a weird glitch that allowed Anne to land a mess of random combos and button mashes. For someone as clumsy as Marcy, she sure was good at hitting every button with ease and landing seemingly impossible combos.

"Alright! That's one for you and...eleven for me!" Marcy exclaims as she writes it down in the notebook she brought with her. "Hm...tell you what, if you beat me in this last round, I'll get us boba tea from the place you like tomorrow! Whatever kind you want! And you buy if I win again." Anne narrows her eyes in thought. There's a catch, but that tea does sound good...she nods and adjusts her grip on her controller.

"You're on!" She replies. The announcer begins a new round and she hastily starts applying the tricks she's learned from watching Marcy. Still, the other girl is more experienced, and Anne watches nervously as her health bar sinks lower and lower, turning from a healthy green to a worrying yellow. Pursing her lips, she looks over at Marcy. Her gaze is fixed on the screen, tongue poking slightly out of her mouth as she moves her fingers quickly over the controller.

Anne looks over at the screen, her health on the verge of a red, and then decides to test out her stupid idea. She leans in and presses her lips to Marcy's cheek. It's a brief gesture, but it works anyways. Marcy freezes, her face slowly turning dark red as Anne takes the chance to hastily smash down the buttons on her own controller, taking down Marcy's character with a few lucky attacks. Marcy blinks slowly as she registers her loss and then turns to Anne, her cheeks still dusted with blush. "You cheated!" She exclaims, gently pushing her friend's shoulder.

"Hey, we never established any rules!" Anne shrugs. "And I believe that's two wins for me, so I'll get my tea tomorrow," she grins smugly. Marcy pouts at her before her eyes light up again and she leans in. Their faces are inches from each other and Anne finds herself blushing now, her face hot. She can't stop thinking about how she really, really wants their next kiss to be on the lips. According to Sasha, she's a total fucking Marcy simp who should just kiss her and get it over with. But that's easy for Sasha to say, clearly she's never had something like this happen.

"Fine, it's a date...if you want it to be." Marcy leans back and fidgets with her fingers, clearly a bit more nervous than she was a moment ago. Anne sits up and takes a deep breath before she nods. "...Wait, really?! I've been crushing on you since like...sixth grade!" She exclaims with a nervous laugh. Anne stares at her for a moment before joining in on the laughter after her moment of realization.

"Really? Me too!" She admits. "Wow, I guess Sasha was right. We really are simping for each other." She can already imagine her face. A mixture of smugness and excitement for the two of them, probably. But mostly smugness, because she's obviously way less oblivious than the two of them. "So um, can we..." she rubs the back of her neck, "kiss, maybe?" Marcy grins at her and then leans in again. It's hesitant and awkward at first, neither of them have much experience, but they quickly get the hang of it. Neither of them hear two figures enter the room until a voice interrupts them.

"See, honey? I told you there was something between them!" Her father grins, and the two quickly pull away from each other. Anne groans and buries her face in her hands while Marcy waves at Anne's parents. Her father has always been close with Marcy, the two of them often bonding over a shared interest in video games. So technically, it's not weird that he caught on to the mutual feelings between them, but it still makes Anne want to curl up in a ball and sink into the floor.

"Being honest, I kind of saw it too. After all, you two have been friends for so long it was hard not to notice the looks you gave each other." God, did everyone notice except for us? Anne thinks. "Anyways, dinner is almost ready, so you should shut down your game for now." They both nod as Marcy works on shutting down the console and placing the controllers back in their spots. Her mother returns to the kitchen to finish and her dad starts to follow before turning back around.

"Oh, and Anne? Keep it PG, okay?"

"Ew, dad!"

#marcanne #anne boonchuy #marcy wu #amphibia #anne boonchuy's parents #svgarprompts #fluff

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omegalomania · 3 years

Note

I think tumblr ate my ask or it just didn't sent but what are your favorite Bastille songs / what are some songs you recommend?

i did NOT get this ask im very sorry anon.

it's genuinely hard for me to narrow down cause bastille is pretty up there in terms of favorite artists. i love all their shit, but a special mention goes out to their second studio album wild world since it's the one that made me a Fan

uh so here's a primer i guess i spent too much time on this lmao.

if you wanna listen to their big hits:

flaws - their first single in the uk. if you ever listened to ship playlists on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 then you've probably heard this song or a variant on it at some point.

pompeii - this is the song that really put them on the map and you definitely know it. it dominated the charts all over the place.

happier - the marshmello song that you've definitely heard before too. i think bastille wrote this for justin bieber or some shit but then decided they liked it too much to give it to him? lmao. anyway if you're not digging the version you hear on the radio all the time i recommend trying the stripped down version

good grief - their big hit off their second album. big in the uk, didn't really make as many waves elsewhere, but it's a really solid song anyway. one of those "upbeat tunes that's actually really fucking sad" ones

things we lost in the fire - another one off their first album. if you live in a wildfire area this might not be one to turn to. or maybe you'll find it cathartic idk i certainly do!!

quarter past midnight - a song about escapism, as was fitting when it was released in 2018 and equally fitting now. running away for a night of fucking around with friends, craving any kind of brief departure from the chaos of the modern world

skulls - this one was not a hit or a single and is technically a bonus track but i'm including it because once again if you ever clicked on a ship playlist on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 you've heard this one. and you know what that was justified this one is also good

if you wanna feel existentially depressed:

their whole discography. i mean i kid but i also don't. that's just kind of how bastille does it. BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS ones that hit me in particular would beeee

two evils - kind of a grim, haunting one introspecting about morality of the self.

oblivion - musing about the afterlife, love, and how time changes all of us.

those nights - contemplating what it is we seek when we plunge into reckless escapism, and the inherent loneliness of it; how even when surrounded by people there's still the pressure of the world outside, continuously coming to pieces

the draw - this one was written about the pull of pursuing a career in music vs. staying home with family and friends. in a broader sense, it can apply to a lot of things. i always felt it resonated with feelings of paranoia and displacement

winter of our youth - discusses childhood, nostalgia, and regret. if it feels like everything's slipping away, is it easier to relive the past, especially if the past is tinted rose?

sleepsong - loneliness, desperation, and the cyclical, abyss-like nature of all it encapsulates

if you want discussion of serious topics:

final hour - a bonus track off their second album that also became a bonus track off their third album? anyway this song talks about climate change and gun control. happy stuff

doom days - this one talks about, uh, everything! doomscrolling, political divides, escalating national tensions, climate change again, etc.

the currents - a song centered on political rhetoric and the power that figureheads have over the masses, the way they can orchestrate hate. basically it's not so subtly aimed at donald trump lmao, dan's literally sung it as much in a few live settings

WHAT YOU GONNA DO??? - social media addiction and the way capitalism and corporate interests have annexed our online experiences, fighting desperately for our attention as they seek to monetize every available aspect of our lives

four walls (the ballad of perry smith) - well this one is about uh. perry smith. who was charged with the death penalty for killing 4 people in the late 50's. but it's less directly about him and more a discussion of the morality of the death penalty and capital punishment

snakes - burgeoning anxieties and the impulse to turn to easy outs, like ignorance or alcoholism, to escape the world's global problems

if you want some pop culture sprinkled on top:

icarus - greek mythology. i like this one because it addresses something that i feel isn't addressed enough in discussions of this myth, which is that icarus is a very young lad. less about the pride of the fall, and more about the inherent tragedy of that.

laura palmer - the whole song is a david lynch shoutout. i've never seen twin peaks myself but the song still slaps.

daniel in the den - christian mythology. discusses the biblical tale of daniel in the lion's den and links that up to themes of betrayal and family.

poet - this one's a double feature, referencing both william shakespeare's sonnet 18 and edmund spencer's sonnet 75. also one of my favorites.

send them off! - this is another one of my favorites of theirs. it's also been described by dan as "othello meets the exorcist" and it very much delivers there

if you want something uplifting:

joy - while bastille (understandably) has a bit of reputation as a band that makes sad music about sad things, they've definitely got some happier songs in their catalogue. pun intended cha ching. this one's one of their more straightforwardly happy tunes

survivin' - this was a song they wrote while they were touring and then felt weird about releasing once the panini hit because it felt a bit on the nose. they ended up releasing it anyway and i am so glad they did cause it's a mood

act of kindness - the "happy" part here is debatable but i'm gonna include it anyway. it’s when someone does something nice for you and that impulse Changes you way down deep you know???

warmth - one of those "the world's going to shit but at least we have each other" kinds of tunes

the anchor - one of those "the world's going to shit but you're the one fucking thing that's still keeping me here" kinds of tunes

give me the future - their latest single as of this writing and one of the more optimistic tracks in their catalogue imo! it's yearning, but it's also with a genuine hope for the future.

and LASTLY. because im going to take every chance i can to plug this band. im going to throw some collabs and covers at you because there's one thing this band does SUPER well and it's collabs and covers.

of the night - this is the big one. it mashes up rhythm of the night by corona and rhythm is a dancer by SNAP! and it's so good they still do this one live and it goes off every time.

no angels - a mashup of "no scrubs" by TLC and "angels" by the xx, poured into a strangely mournful tune with clips from the hitchcock movie psycho. doesn't sound like it should work but it does. kinda really does.

torn apart - with GRADES and lizzo no less!!! it's got two parts but they're both excellent listen to them both

weapon - collab with angel haze, dan priddy, and F*U*G*Z and one of my absolute favorites

remains - remix of their song "skulls" but featuring rag'n'bone man and skunk anansie that adds an entire new dimension to the song, really fucking excellent

old town road mashup - lil nas x's old town road meets lizzo's good as hell meets radiohead's talk show host meets talking heads' road to nowhere meets the osmond's crazy horse. "what the fuck that shouldn't work" i KNOW and yet here it is!! BLATANTLY BANGING!!!

we can't stop - one of the few times dan smith subtly changes the lyrics of the song he's covering (most of the time he opts to keep the original pronouns and the like, which is very nice to see). anyway this one mixes miley cyrus's we can't stop with eminem's lose yourself and billy ray cyrus's achy breaky heart. and also the lion king's i just can't wait to be king is there. yes i know it sounds batshit especially because the whole thing is surprisingly melodic and heartfelt and you know what it works.

anyone but me x nightmares - mashing up joy crookes' anyone but me with easy life's nightmares and absolutely one of my favorites.

bad guy mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "bad" in the title? we've got bad guy (billie eilish), bad decisions (bastille), bad romance (lady gaga), and bad blood (taylor swift). bastille even has a song called bad blood and they didnt use it. they used taylor swift's version. also the distinctive guitar riff from dick dale's misirlou is there.

somebody mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "some" in the title? someone like you (adele), somebody told me (the killers), somebody to love (queen), use somebody (kings of leon), and someone you loved (lewis capaldi). seriously these guys take mashups to a new level.

final song - this is a cover of MØ's final song. it also adds in craig david's 7 days and, impossibly enough, europe's final countdown. how does it work. how.

ALL RIGHT. THATS ALL IVE GOT IN ME. HOPE THIS HELPED ANON AND IM SORRY IF THIS IS TOO MUCH

#askin hours #anon #bastille #ill put this in the bastille tag why not #this is predominantly a fall out boy blog but if any bastille bloggers are out there....all like 20 of you....#i see the work u do in this fandom and i love u for it

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ktheist · 4 years

Text

heartbreaker of mine

muses. jungkook x reader

synopsis. ah, here we are again. the overtold, cliche as hell story about two best friends who might or might not be in love with each other. except you can’t - wouldn’t dare to dream about being with jungkook.

alternatively, wherein you fell for the one who could break your heart.

words. 7.5k

universe. university / slice of life

warnings. mentions of physical insecurities; appearance, commitment issues

you should have known that in the absence of two of your best friends, nothing ever goes right when you decide to hang out. it isn’t the fact that you’ve known each other since diapers and basically know anything and everything about the other, that at some point you feel like your friendship is stale and need new additions - that’s where park jimin and kim taehyung comes in; a year older but several younger at heart, you couldn’t have imagined going through uni life with someone but them - but it’s the fact that realization hits you at the end of your final year that makes you drift apart.

the fact of the matter is, you prefer the solitude of your room, the library of that one spot in the cafe that you’ve claimed as yours. and jeon jungkook prefers the blare of music, strobe lights and bodies grinding against him.

by your final year, as you receive a job offer at the company you interned in on your second year, taehyung is already working part time at the company he interned in, jimin thinking about that modeling offer he just got scouted for and jeon jungkook is getting daddies of the girls he’s having a thing with to get him to work at their office just so their daughter can see their favorite boy more - yours and jungkook’s friendship has dwindled down to mere silences as you wait for the other two to knock on the door and fill the place up with their endless bickering about whether dumplings are better than mochi.

“shouldn’t you like, give me advice?” are the words jungkook said to you while you type away on your laptop, trying to do some light reading for tomorrow’s class before your mac gets confiscated for ‘pooping the party’ as taehyung likes to call it.

and you know what he’s talking about without even having preambles of the topic make its way into the conversation.

yet you still take off your glasses and set it down in your lap and ask, “what could jeon jungkook possibly have not known and needed advice on?”

he scrunches his nose, not appreciating your sarcasm but humors it anyway, “you know,” he shrugs, as though shrunk into the sofa from either shyness or embarrassment - you don’t know, “on like, how to start being serious about life - and settling down.”

the silence that stretches is a stale one, filled with your blank stare and jungkook’s peering eyes - even at the age of 22, the stars still glimmer like they’ve been freshly plucked from the skies.

“you want me to help pick, out of the many job offers you got from your girlfriends’ rich parents, for you to do?” is your conclusion - though if you were 2 years younger and had a little bit more faith for the boy you basically called your twin, it would have been a good natured jest. but you’re older and jungkook isn’t exactly portraying characteristics of an upstanding citizen either.

“no,” his hair brushes against his brows as he shakes his head almost too eagerly - as though he saw that coming but still got upset and wanted to prove you wrong, “like how to start taking things seriously like settling down with someone and no, not with out of my many girlfriends - can we not call them that? it makes me sound like an ass.”

it takes you less than five seconds to digest his words, eyes drifting to the white screen of your mac for the sole reason you can’t bear to hold his intense gaze while you conjure up a response, “well for one, you are but there’s honestly nothing i can tell you that you don’t know already and there’s nothing i can possibly say to make you want to change - it has to come from you. or like, a professional that could help and if you think you need one, i’ll be with you all step-“

the brief scoff is what puts a rest to your racing thoughts while the smile on his lips put your heart at ease, “i’m not addicted to sex.”

“oh, okay.” is all you say, not seeing where the conversation is going as you watch the boy scratch the back of his ear, lips pulled into a pout - one way you know he’s trying to strum words into existence. and when he does, confused is an understatement to describe what your face is portraying.

“okay, i’m saying if and if you’re looking for a husband, no, scratch that, would you even introduce someone like me to your parents?” but that’s the thing, you’re not confused because you don’t know where this is going but you’re confused because you don’t pretend to be oblivious.

but you’re also not a master at the art of heart-to-hearts and the gargantuan elephant that it brings. so you settle with a, “uh, i don’t know, you already know my parents, don’t know how i can reverse that and reintroduce you-“

“that’s not the point,” he blinks, the sight almost endearing as he freezes in his spot for a split second in contemplation of how to approach the matter and explain it to you who seem like you’re way off, “the point is-“

“i get it.” you nod, arms crossing over your chest as jungkook’s wide eyes peers into you like a mixture of relief anticipation.

“you do?”

“you’re worried if your future partner will be insecure about the bodies you’ve seen before them,” there’s a knock on the door just as you’ve finished speaking.

as you get up to get up to answer it, knowing already who’s there from the obnoxious chatters - more like argument - you’re not sure if your brain is playing tricks on you or if jungkook’s shoulder line really falls as well as his face.

but the, “uh, yeah, i guess,” is what makes you push the image of dimmed stars and downturned pink lips to the back of your mind as you unlock the door, welcoming the two halfway-into-a-deep-quarreling men and their two bags of take-away roasted chicken, chips, mashed potatoes and whatever else they thought necessary to fill the game night with.

“thanks, shortcake,” taehyung smiles at you after you take a plastic bags off his and jimin’s hands and proceed to place it on the coffee table.

“tae, you’re literally taller than everyone,” throwing him a side glance, you shrug as you begin taking out the packed chicken wings and placing it in front of jungkook while taehyung helps with unpacking the add-ons from another bag, “calling me short isn’t exactly an insult.”

“i’m just saying we should demolish mint chocolate chips all at once,” jimin plops down on the couch adjacent to jungkook, “and no, we can’t let these savages go eating them - we need to educate-“

somewhere in the middle of jimin’s colonial-esque speech, you turn to the boy who’s never said a word since the two came in. not that those too needed an additional converse partner with how taehyung is advocating for leaving mint chocolate chip eaters alone and jimin staying with his stance that these people haven’t had a taste of all flavors in the world yet.

the way he seems to look at something past your shoulders tells you enough - he’s still deep in his thoughts about settling down, or changing or whatever. you don’t know why exactly he wants to change his heartbreaker ways but- “there’s nothing wrong with two adults having a - or multiple - consensual sexual relationship prior to finding their significant other. and if they have a problem with that then that’s something they need to work on, not you so no, i don’t think you should change anything unless you want to.”

it’s some days later that taehyung brings up the remnant of the conversation he overheard before the four of you began arguing about what movie to watch and ended up putting the fate of humanity in rock paper scissors. and so you tell him, without ever thinking of the one thing that spurred his ridiculous thought and the hesitance of pouring it onto you.

“don’t look at me, i’m not snitching.” jimin’s round, disbelieved eyes stares back at taehyung as though surprised the latter would ever think he’d do such a thing.

“okay but someone’s gotta tell her.” taehyung lowly mumbles, upper body turned to jimin, gracing you with his beautiful side profile - whoever gets to date him will forever be the lucky one.

“guys, i’m literally right here.” the sound of your voice warrants a turn of heads and a wide-eyed stare as though they’re seeing your ghost rather than your physical form that entered and picked a spot together with them.

it takes a moment for the elephant to settle somewhere in the corner and crush you with its invisible weight before taehyung turns to you, hand behind his mouth as he fake coughs into it. then, another moment for you to register taehyung’s words as you watch his mouth move and his gaze trained on you like a father teaching his daughter a life-lesson before he lets her out into the world. once his mouth stops moving and a second passes for you to take in the information, only two words leave your lips.

“you trippin’,” with a half-manic smile and brows knitted together, you look almost like you’re made for the asylum- but understandably, your admittance is overdue.

as your heart palpitate inside the confines of your rib cages and the scene from that night replays at the back of your eyes like a broken record - jungkook’s hesitant glance, the windows to his soul shutting tight with hesitance and the teeth that traps his lower lips as though his body is forbidding him to say whatever his heart and mind wanted - as much as it pains you to admit it, the signs were all there.

you just didn’t want to admit it.

that’s what pining over a best friend you’ve known for over a decade does.

the denial that comes after realizing you don’t want anyone else to touch jungkook when im nayoung stood on her tippy toes and pecked jungkook’s lips before running off with a flustered expression - you were both in elementary and jungkook was more into sleepovers with the abundance of plushies you had than hanging with ‘other kids’.

then comes the ugly head of self-loathing and guilt as you fixed park jihyo a smile as jungkook introduced you two. one, as his girlfriend and the other, his best friend.

both, in love with him.

it’s ugly and disgusting, jealousy that is. but you’re uglier for smiling and laughing with jihyo over the things you would with a best friend who’s a girl - there were things you couldn’t share with jungkook as a girl. but you’d let your eyes linger a second too on them as they shared a peck when he’d meet you too in front of the school gate after his extra class was over - you lost count of the times you wished you were her.

you carried the pathetic little mask of a smile to uni. by then, jungkook had broken up with jihyo. there was a lot of tears and consoling and empty words of assurance.

“hey, if you guys are meant to be, you’ll meet again someway somehow.” you’d fixed her an encouraging smile as your heart bloomed with hope for when you’ll get jungkook’s attention all to yourself once you start uni.

getting into the same one had been pure luck.

it didn’t bring you far though. jungkook started gaining attention for his friendly nature and bunny smile that attracted both males and females. it wasn’t long until he’s bringing you to parties where he’d keep you by his side because he knew you didn’t know most of these people. tried to get you involved in the conversation but there was nothing interesting about the dude who drank himself silly and woke up in front of an old lady’s door butt naked or about that girl who woke up a five minutes before class in a city an hour away from where her dorm is.

well, at least, none of them seemed like jungkook’s type. he never had a girlfriend throughout his years in uni though he had plenty of other experiences that makes you wonder what in the world he hasn’t tried yet.

being in a relationship, is probably the only thing he hasn’t done.

jungkook liked kind people. ones that didn’t point at a random person and say an offhanded comment and collectively laugh about it. someone that laughs and smiles a lot because and didn’t have a single bad bone in their body.

liked.

because you don’t know what kind of person jungkook likes now. but you never thought him asking a hypothetical question from what seems like another person's perspective about his lifestyle would be, as taehyung calls it-

“i’m telling you,” he slams a hand on the table, a loud pap! resonating in the air but he doesn’t seem bothered by the pain - if there is any - as his eyes bore into you, “that was jungkook shooting his shot!”

“i don’t know,” you take a sip from the metal straw of your matte black tumbler for the sake of doing something, “it doesn’t feel real but i can kind of see it?”

“take it for what it is, love,” the pull of his eyebrows together couldn’t have been more frustrating, “jungkook has every reason to have the fattest crush on you - i mean look at you, you’re funny, adorable and nicer than all his friends combined.”

jungkook has multiple friend groups he hangs out with. funny how you started out as duos and merged into a quadruplet and ended up being that friend group that jeon jungkook doesn’t really look like he fits in but he’s probably hanging out with you guys from time to time because you’d known each other the longest. or so word has it.

“that’s basically everyone who’s not his friends.” with an eye roll, you wrap your mouth around the straw. this time, for the sake of hiding the smile that threatens to bloom on your face as it is in your heart.

and that’s how you find yourself in more than one ‘don’t you dare’ moments. jimin has begun randomly pointing out something about your hair accessory to your clothes to your fucking strawberry printed socks.

to prove a point, he said.

“hey beautiful,” oh, and he’s resorted to calling you all the adjectives in the world - but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work in making jungkook’s face scrunch in displeasure for the briefest moment as he glances at jimin as though he’s an adjective away from beating the man into a bloody pulp, “nice shirt.”

despite knowing the comment is every bit staged - and probably doesn’t mean that your minnie and mickey mouse shirt is anywhere compliment-worthy, you still look down at the two mice, one kissing the other on the cheek.

the “uh, thanks,” couldn’t have been more dubious and skeptic.

and so begins jimin’s not-so-secret mission to bring jungkook’s attention to you.

“isn’t the stickers on ___’s mac cute, jungkook?”

jungkook skims at the grizzly, panda and ice bears scattered across your mac before breaking into a smug smirk, “of course they are, i bought them for ___.”

you can almost hear jimin and taehyung high-fiving on the row behind you just as the professor walks in.

while jungkook seems to oblivious to it all, eyes trained to the display on the on the front, you allow yourself to indulge in the heat that seeps through your pores and warms your heart.

it’s not like jungkook stopped going to parties.

but finals season is almost upon you and he’s been hanging out with you more. sitting next to you in class while jimin and taehyung dozes off at the back.

“they sleep in class just to spend hours on end studying at the library,” jungkook huffs, eyebrows knitting together adorably as he stresses over your two friends’ stamina for sitting in one place for six hours straight and only needing a bottle of water at their disposal, “i mean, why can’t they just focus in class so they don’t have to study a whole semester’s worth of syllabus in the last minute and drag us into it?”

the six hour mark ended and they’re out getting some snacks for you to secretly munch on until the library closes.

“i mean,” you begin, eyebrows jolting upwards at the more-than-obvious fact he’s supposed to already know, “you technically came here with your own free will, you’re free to leave whenever you want.”

another sigh hits the air as the boy slams his onto the book he has open in front of him, “yeah, but i need to study to pass and i needed you guys to push me,” he laments.

ever since then, there’d been far too many moments of where you’re stuck with jungkook to wait for the two non-time-abiding asses. at first, excuses like ‘sorry we’re late, we were getting mcdonald’s’ or some other poor fast food restaurants’ name that became the patsy, but they started dwindling to ‘oh hey, sorry, we didn’t notice the time’ and eventually a ‘hey, jimin’s got a meeting with a professor and he’s my ride so you guys go first’.

and before you know it, finals pass and you’re visiting your hometown while jungkook stuck around for a part-time job with taehyung whilst jimin drops off the face of the earth after having mentioned that he’s going on a family vacation at some private island with apparently the worst wifi connection ‘like ever.’

the two now-co-workers keep spamming the group chat with pictures of them in their uniforms, holding different drinks which they personally every time. when you’re staying over with your grandmother, it’s your turn to spam pictures of her great black cat who seem to only like sitting in her lap and glaring at you in every picture you take of the two watching tv together. almost as if he had a sixth sense when it comes to cameras.

“when are you coming back?” jungkook grumbles from the other end of line.

you’ve just got a shower and he’s just got home from a night shift. he’s probably haven’t even taken off his jacket yet when he proposed calling you like the sporadic times you both did throughout the break.

“i don’t know. i don’t feel like going back maybe even until the ceremony,” you confess, half-meaning it. the gardening, and saying hello’s to everyone you see while buying groceries because everyone knows everyone here, and the best-tasting cookies your grandma make, and waking up to her cat suffocating you in your sleep, isn’t so bad.

“i’m dying here,” he sighs, sounding more relaxed and probably lying on his bed now, “if i have to insist that i can’t ‘reheat’ coffee and can only make a new one and end up having to hide in the kitchen for five seconds to pretend like there’s a secret microwave only for coffees,” he says all in one breath before letting a suspenseful silence hang in the air and then finally revealing the next big thing he’ll do, “i’m seriously going to spit in their coffee while in the kitchen pretending to reheat it with an invisible microwave.”

the laughter that tumbles out of your mouth is probably ugly and you probably snorted a couple times but jungkook doesn’t seem to notice. or care as he keeps insisting ‘i’m really gonna do it’ whilst you end up laughing until your stomach hurts and tears begin to prick your eyes.

“is this the same regular that like, wants their coffee like super hot?” you finally manage to ask, traces of laughter still threatening to spill from your lips.

“yeah,” his sounds impressed, “how’d you know?”

“tae told me,” you make an incredulous face and shrug even though he can’t see, “you do realize you work at the same place, right?”

“yeah but i never see him talk about it in the group but i probably missed it-”

“oh no,” your hand goes up in a dismissive wave, “we talk on the phone and he told me about it.”

“you guys talk on the phone too?” there’s a strain in his voice, possibly out of surprise.

“yeah, like every day.” you say, tongue subconsciously lapping over your bottom lip.

“oh,” is all he says for the longest moment before chirping out the billion dollar question, “why aren’t we talking every day?”

“i don’t know,” your shoulder line rises, almost swallowing your neck as a war breaks out within yourself, “we did try at the beginning of break but you always had a party to go to so...”

“oh,” this ‘oh’ is a little bit dejected and perhaps hits a little different before he continues, “i don’t go to those anymore.”

this time, it’s your jaw that falls. your voice is small, almost as though cautiously teetering on tightrope as you ask, “...why not?”

“i just didn’t see the point of going anymore you know? once we graduate, i won’t even talk to these people anymore - but i wanna continue being friends with you guys.”

the ‘you guys’ meaning you, taehyung and jimin. the bros. the homies. it’s no secret that he probably sees you all as the same gender, not a guy nor a girl but just friends.

well. it’s not the first time jungkook’s friendzoned you.

“that’s great,” you can’t help but nod even though you know he can’t see you, “i wanna keep being friends with you too, jungkook.”

ever since then, you talk almost everyday. sometimes in three’s and when taehyung had a shift and jungkook got off his, it’d just be the two of you. and for the first time, in ages, it feels as though the ‘best’ in your friendship has somewhat reintroduced itself once more. jimin somewhat manages to get a connection somewhere along the way and the first thing he did was complain about the three digit number in a red bubble in the corner of the message app and then managing to get one picture of him in flowery trunks, and a baby monkey eating a banana perched on his shoulder with the beach in the background before disappearing for the rest of the month until two weeks before the graduation ceremony.

“so like, do you have anyone to pick you up?” jungkook asks from he other end of the line. he sounds more free since it’s the last day of his job.

“yeah,” you announce, attentiveness laced in your tone for your next words might be indicative enough, “my sister.”

“what.” he drags out the word in a disbelieving tone and it’s no secret why he’s doing that- “i haven’t seen you in ages! and you’re going to your sister’s? wait - this isn’t like a permanent thing right? we’ll get to hang out before the ceremony, right?”

it takes you a moment to register the series of questions he bombarded you with and before you know it, the silence has already turned your voice into a small and guilt-ridden, “um, yes and no?”

a groan.

“i haven’t seen seulgi in forever too and she kept nagging me to visit her during break but i never did so now she has like a whole week’s worth of itinerary planned out for us to do before the ceremony,” the excuse trickles out of your mouth hurriedly, “jungkook, i have to do this, or the next time we’ll meet it’s at my funeral and you’ll be talking to my dead carcass before they bury me.”

it takes a moment of anticipating silence before he grumbles out a “fine. but after that, you’re staying over at my place.”

“okay but i mean if we’re having stay over’s wouldn’t tae’s place be better since he has a whole ass apartment for himself?” you’re at that point where you’re discussing stay over arrangements before actually consulting the owner of the place.

“i guess,” his voice is a little lower and smaller but it revives at the mention of the new pizza place that just opened before you decided to invite the other two in the call to make plans to visit there.

when the day finally comes for you to don the royal blue robe and cap, you do so with barely enough grace and composure for someone who’s about to receive her blood sweat and tears on a stage all because you and your sister are - this must be karma for shading taehyung and jimin for being - a bunch of non-time-abiding asses.

the double doors are almost closed as you struggle with not tripping on your high heels whilst trying to keep your hair out of your face.

“where have you been?” you almost didn’t recognize the golden man who tapped you on your shoulder from behind.

“jimin! you made it!” is the first thing you say.

“rich coming from someone who barely got to her seat in time,” he gives you a once over and you’re not quite sure what he sees because your back which he’ll be looking most at is clad is oversized blue robe. but despite that, you reach out to give his hand a squeeze and he takes it with just as a tight, ‘we made it’ kind of squeeze before you turn to the chancellor that’s beginning his speech.

you’re not sure which row jungkook is at or if he even sees you and you read taehyung’s ‘i feel like a proud momma’ text because his major adds another year to his studies than you, jimin and jungkook.

the ceremony goes on without a hitch and you’d like to believe your picture is as perfect as your make up which your sister claims to be ‘out of this world!’ - only because it’s her that did it.

“so you guys talk everyday?” jimin pulls you into him, a smile gracing his beautifully tanned skin as he steals a glance at something behind your shoulders - possibly jungkook whom you saw was being swarmed by his friends to take pictures with.

“yeah, i guess,” you casually say with a shrug.

“it’s true, i was there,” taehyung comes up next to you, replacing jimin’s arms with his in a side hug.

“man, i really wish i witness it all,” jimin grumbles, “but the connection on that island was shitty.”

“i’m sure you connected in different ways,” the taller man adds, a strain in his voice which the shorter doesn’t seem to notice as he try to wave off the belatedly relayed fact that his family is a different kind of family.

like the kind that invites sex workers and other business colleagues alike to enjoy themselves for as long as they wanted, as long as the park family was there.

“okay but how long is he going to take?” jimin quizzes, eyebrows soaring whilst you and taehyung follow his gaze to the growing size of people a few feet away who clearly look like they’re here for a photoshoot than a simple graduation ceremony, “my parents kinda skipped work to see me go on stage and get a piece of paper they paid a lot for so i kinda want to get the family pic done before i go to my second family...”

time doesn’t seem to stop like they do in the movies. it happens all too fast, in fact - jimin’s voice fading into the background, the countdown of the person taking the picture of the group of graduates jungkook’s in starting from three, two, one! and a girl with the prettiest curls that seem to bounce as she turns around and stick her tongue into jungkook’s mouth.

it must have been your uncanny silence that draws the attention of the two boys and a ‘oh shit...’ from one of them - you’re not sure who even though taehyung and jimin has two distinctly sounding voice.

all you’re sure of is the involuntary movements of your feet as they carry you away from the scene. your eyes are dry but that’s probably only because your brain hasn’t registered what exactly happened though deep down, you’re perfectly aware of the fact that those daily calls, the spams of good mornings and randomly sending each other selfies were nothing more than exchanges between two people who were onlu ever connected through a childhood bond that got translated into best friendship just because there was no other name for knowing someone for so long even though you probably stopped being friends first year of college.

“___! wait!” someone calls for you and you wish it so badly to be jungkook but you know better than to expect for the impossible. a modern day fairy tale.

“hey, don’t cry. jungkook’s a fucking dick,” the tall stature that finally caught up to you and trapped you in his arms, whispers. gentle, understanding and pitiful.

it’s not just the comforting warmth, it’s also the hand that’s rubbing your back that you know is probably jimin’s that makes you break out into your first sob. whilst the day isn’t exactly free of tears, those who did shed them did it out of gratitude and a sort of ‘i did it’ kind of relief but not you.

today, your cheeks are marred by the excruciating pain of a heartbreak. you might as well tear your chest open, take out the beating organ and hand it over to jungkook so he could crush them with his own two hands.

maybe it’d hurt less.

somewhere amidst your fit, you choke on your laughter as you catch the two bickering.

“that’s not how you comfort a crying lady, taehyung, what the fuck?” jimin doesn’t hold back with his colorful words.

“what? what did i do?” the taller man sounds all the more confused but still pass you on to the shorter one like a gift basket when a hand pulls you into another pair of arms.

a hand patting your head as jimin murmurs, “there, there, you’re going to be okay, sweetie,” he hugs you just a tad bit tighter as though to say i promise, “you’re young, you’re beautiful and you just graduated with honors. in five years you won’t even remember your little crush for jungcockhead.”

you would have laughed if not for the shadow in your periphery stopping dead in its trek just a few feet away from you and close enough to hear every word jimin uttered in his attempt to placate your rising desire to flee the scene.

“what?” even a simple syllable is enough to tell you who the voice belongs to. perhaps it’s because you’ve heard it in real life and on the phone countless times and countless more during the span where he worked sporadic shifts and you were gardening and getting scratched by your grandmother’s cat that you tried relentlessly to befriend.

“nothing, jungkook.” you wish it was you who said it but it’s jimin who’s hugging you tighter like a mother comforting their heartbroken child, “why don’t you go back to your girlfriend and stick your face where it’s actually wanted?”

almost as though physically slapped in the face.

with a brick.

jungkook’s shoulder line jolts as he flinches, brows knitting together as you can almost see the rewind of the moment your heart gets split in two. she has the prettiest, softest tanned complexion, luscious curls and body that fits the definition of a glowed-up.

he takes one step forward but stops when you shrink into jimin’s arms, almost as though seeking protection. but it takes everything in you not to run to him and make up an excuse about feeling hot and stuffy and that being the reason you left, when the crestfallen expression mars his otherwise ever-smiling features.

“that wasn’t what you thought it was-” you could almost swear he chokes at the end of his words but the pause is too short to tell, “i left her as soon as i saw you running off.”

“oh my god, cut the bullshit! this isn’t the first time and this won’t be the last. don’t talk to ___, don’t even look at her, douchebag,” the rumble of jimin’s voice vibrates against you as he pokes taehyung in the rib, making the boy cry out in pain.

the assaulted man has half a mind to ask for further instructions when he turns to you and jimin but decides against it, squaring up his shoulders and placing a warning hand, “just leave, man. ___ clearly doesn’t wanna talk to you right now.”

“ever.” jimin half-shouts.

those deep brown eyes search for yours as though holding on the last strand of what you call best friendship - hoping, wishing that it isn’t true. but as soon as they find your puffy eyes, you throw your gaze to the ground, finding the crack in the asphalt in a better state than your heart.

you can only imagine jungkook’s face falling at your refusal to affirm the strength of years’ worth of friendship. because the fact of the matter is, you’re not so sure if you want to keep pretending to be oblivious as he wraps his arms around another person and kiss them like he means it.

“___,” the bed dips as you feel the weight of the blanket get yanked off you. seulgi’s sweet peaches perfume filling your senses, “get up, it’s been days since you had an actual meal.”

“i’m not hungry,” you grumble against the pillow just as your stomach starts making the most monstrous sound ever existed in history of mankind.

“yeah right,” she scoffs but her hand on your arm is warm and soothing, “come on, please eat something - i’m saying ‘please’ here and you know i never say ‘please’. people say ‘please’ to me.”

you can’t help but laugh at that. seulgi’s never truly begged anyone for anything in her entire life. she would have asked once and left you be until you were done moping around over jungkook getting with jihyo. it was after you did get over your first heartbreak, did she get you ice cream and you’d spent the night in her room with fairy lights and forts, watching the notebook.

“don’t let a boy hurt you like that again, ___, promise me.” she held up a pinky, and yours felt like a ton of weight just dropped over you.

in the end, you hooked your pink with hers and made a promise of sisterhood.

but she hadn’t been there when you needed your off days in college when rumors started spreading about jungkook and a different girl every week.

the wounds to your ever bleeding heart don’t heal. but you got used to picking yourself up and you got better at that with that one class you failed, that one presentation you blew, the humiliating mistake you made in front of your supervisor and every time after that. seulgi had her own ways to deal with problems and you had yours - or maybe patching yourself up after a fuck up was more of your forte.

who knows?

“what’s for dinner?”

“really?” at your inquiry, the face you thought would light up like a christmas tree - doesn’t. if anything, she bites her bottom lip just like you just caught her red-handed for doing something you probably won’t like.

“what?” you ask plainly, at this point, you won’t even be surprised if she said the sky is falling.

it’s not.

but her next words are far more foreboding than the end of the world, “look, jungkook came over like he always did everyday since that day and today i wanted him to stop coming for good so i told him if you at least have the energy to get some food, i’d let him see you,” her eyes glimmer with a sort of remorse that you can’t even hold her against.

“then can’t you tell him i still don’t wanna eat?” is what you say, completely unperturbed or rather not registering the fact that your best friend whom you’ve been in love with for as long as you can remember is in your sister’s living room because he probably heard about your hunger strike.

but the only problem is, he’s not in the living room-

“he’s right outside the room. i told him he can stand there and see for himself how bad he fucked you over so he’ll feel bad enough to leave you alone.” she says in a hurried whisper, eyes glancing to the half-agape door every second.

a spark lights up inside you, like smolders blown by wind and flares into flames, “seriously? you couldn’t talk to me first about it?”

her eyebrows furrow as her mouth opens and closes for a moment before she confesses, “...i didn’t think you’d say yes to lunch.”

“whatever just-” you tear your gaze away from your sister’s involuntary puppy eyes just so you wouldn’t end up clawing them out yourself, “...just go, seulgi.”

for the longest yet briefest moment, the only thing you can hear in the room is your steady breathing. the flame still burns but it doesn’t flare into a raging fireball. and you know full well it probably isn’t easy for jungkook to pass to through the door after having heard how you reacted when you found out he’s just outside.

when he does, he doesn’t even hide the way his doe eyes shine with something you can’t pinpoint as he takes you in. all of you. with your mused, oily hair and three day’s worth of hoodie and puffed eyes.

“hey,” he murmurs ever so softly, the bed dipping where seulgi sat.

you echo the same greeting back but with a hoarser voice compared to his velvet one.

“so, what do you want for dinner?” he begins, cautious eyes finding yours.

“i don’t want it anymore,” is all you say as you shrug casually.

“oh.” he sounds fragile. nothing at all like the self-assured jeon jungkook you’ve come to know.

silence fills the room like a big, blue elephant. seconds stretch on into minutes and you find yourself leaning against the headboard, drawing invisible patterns over the sheets while jungkook-

you don’t know what he’s doing. he could be fiddling with his fingers like how 10-year-old him would whenever you met at your favorite spot after a fight. but you’re both no where near 10 and if there’s any traces of the boy you once called your best friend, it’s probably only his appearance that’s never really changed.

either way, you don’t dare to even steal a glance his way.

“i like you too.”

the words hit the air like a drop of water that vaporized faster than what science dictates it too. you almost thought you were hearing things if not for the way he looks at you. as though waiting for something. anything.

“i...” you trail off before shaking your head, almost as though coming to your senses, “i can’t do this.”

jungkook laughs awkwardly, hand scratching the back of his head, “yeah, i understand - i’m sorry i- i just wanted to make sure you’re fine and then i got carried away- i should leave.”

but before he takes a step towards the door, you call for him, “jungkook, wait.”

“i’m leaving for japan in two days,” you finally let the cat out of the bag.

“what?” comes out a second later - you don’t dare to look up from your hands to see what kind of emotion he’s making.

but he at least deserves an explanation, “for the longest time, i feel fucked up because i get so jealous of the girls that dated you...” taking a deep breath, you continue, “but i know it’s because i think i’m not enough-”

“you are - you’re more than enough,” the interjection is what makes you look up involuntarily, if not to confirm it yourself - the knitted eyebrows and heartbroken gaze proves it and then the sinking realization settles in, “but you don’t believe me.”

you shake your head, a bitter smile on your lips, “i’m not enough for me and that’s something i have to work with.”

“by running away?” his voice rises to the ceiling, confusion and frustration pooling in his eyes.

“by finding myself,” you correct, “you know like how people go to a different country and come back a different person except i’m hoping to find that person.”

“in japan,” he sounds like he’s a word away from hooking you up with a specialist - not that you haven’t thought of one but-

you laugh and he looks at you like he’s stuck in the middle of a never ending maze, “my mom’s planning to visit my aunt in japan and since i’m officially unemployed i guess, i’m tagging along.”

“oh,” his shoulder line sags as he sighs in relief, “so like a vacation.”

it tenses back up when you say, “i might look for a job there.”

“you’re permanently moving to japan?” jungkook’s body seems to be here but his conscience seems to have flown out - probably to japan.

you want to laugh but it doesn’t seem like a proper setting for it. especially when you’re confessing to your crush that you like him but also subtly admitting that he’s partly the reason you’re leaving the life you know for a new one. and you might not even do it willingly.

“i might find a job with a branch company in korea - work there for a year and then transfer here,” you shrug, “i don’t know.”

“i-is this because-” he starts but you shake your head.

“yes and no?” you say, “none of this is your fault but i’m projecting my frustrations onto you and this isn’t healthy... i need- i need to go away for awhile and figure myself out.”

and that’s how jeon jungkook finally comes to the realization that nothing’s been the same. you haven’t been the best friend you prided yourself to be for a long time and that best friend completely disappeared in second year of college after he started spending nights at parties and only lunches with you. until eventually, you’re stuck in a habit - a cycle that you can’t break from until something dramatic or life changing happens.

and so it goes, he sees you off at the airport with taehyung and jimin. unsure of whether they were still friends after they’d deliberately stopped him from running after you on your graduation day, they were the first to approach him. they understood that it’d only be worse if he chased after you but they didn’t hate him - dislike him at times when - as they called it - he was so damn clueless, yes but they didn’t hate him. and that was a relief.

nothing major changed. he moved in with taehyung and jimin and even got a job at the same company as jimin. you went off radar but still kept in contact every once in awhile - it was like that time jimin went to that private island except you had all the reception you needed, just not the time to text as much as you used to.

job hunting was tough and he understood the competition. when you got a job, you were plagued with a newbie’s role, having to do overtimes to finish up work that was piling before they gave you that position.

then one year turned to two and two years turned to three. jungkook became a manager while jimin took up the position as a secretary in their rival company - it’s funny because everyone at the office would shit-talk him and they would make fun of those people as they drink into the night.

jungkook lost contact with most of his party friends - they were great with hooking him up with a potential client but besides that, he was basically living the workaholic life with his two apartment mates as his only source of social interaction outside of work.

from meetings to gatherings to meetings and then private dinners with clients. the cycle goes on until that one evening where arrives at an invites-only event.

“jungkook, come here,” the director gestures him over and because there’s a server blocking his view, he only notices the girl standing in front of his superior, when he’s finally by his side.

“...a hardworker - every project he’s ever handled hits the internet like a boom!” the director was saying.

“ah jungkook,” the man taps him on his shoulder but he can barely feel it when his eyes are trained on you, stunning in that deep toned dress and new hairstyle, “meet ___, you guys will be working on the twin tower project together.”

“so you’re back for good?” he asks when you’re finally alone, lingering at the balcony and away from your superior’s eyes.

“not quite - i still have to fly to japan every week,” you shrug casually.

“oh,” he nods.

“you look great by the way,” he adds a moment later, scuffing his foot against the floor.

you can’t help but giggle at how boyish he is, even at the age of 25, he still acts like a child, “thanks - you don’t look half bad yourself.”

he echoes a “thanks” as well before throwing his gaze over the magnificient view of the cityscape. artificial lights from the buildings appear like stagnant fireflies. it’s sad that they’re the reason you can’t see stars anymore.

but fate is too cruel.

because hoseok, your partner is calling you over - a couple of middle aged people standing next to him, smiling that mechanical smile that isn’t any different from your business smile.

“i gotta go,” you sigh but shoot him one last melancholy smile, “i’ll see you this monday?”

“yeah, see you this monday.” jungkook smiles a smile that says he’s not so sure where you stand. colleagues. ex-best friends. acquaintances?

with a wave goodbye, he watches as you strut to the couple, transforming into a woman so sure of every gesture, even a smile and a throw of your head back as you laugh. everything you do, every movement you make is mesmerizing.

and he knows he’s not the only one who thinks so as he watches your partner gaze at you with eyes that doesn’t seem to see anyone else but you. laughs at something you say as if he’s completely enchanted.

jungkook turns around, hand propped on the railing as he takes a sip of the wine he’s been holding. without realizing it, a smile slips onto his face, he makes a mental note to check your company’s dating policy.

most forbid office romances anyway.

note. i’ve had this in the draft for forever! and thought i was never gonna finish this but i somehow got a burst of inspiration yesterday and here we are! hope yall enjoyed!

#bts smut #jungkook smut #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fic #bts fic #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #bts au #jungkook au #bts fluff #excerpt from a fic i'll never write

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nagamas · 2 years

Text

A Fire in the Snow

by anonymous, for @ziziblueblur Summary: Ephraim goes to meet up with Eirika in Serafew on the Winter Festival... with a very special surprise for her Contains: silly sibling bonding, a horse, sad siblings, posthumous Lyon X Eirika (NOT IN AN ORSON KINDA WAY), survivor's guilt, one accidental twincest joke that kinda wrote itself and I'm sorry about, a second horse, brief mentions of Myrrh, people grieving in the holidays but they turn out to be okay

The warmth of the air inside the inn almost burned Ephraim's face by stark contrast with the cold of the outdoors. Within the room he glimpsed silhouettes of people illuminated by a vast, blazing hearth.

"I'm so sorry," said the innkeeper. "I'm afraid we just filled up…"

Ephraim pursed his lips. "I made arrangements to meet someone here. A woman my age; we look similar…"

The innkeeper flipped through her registry. "Can you tell me her name?"

Had Eirika used her real name to check in? The two of them had spent a lot of time in Serafew before, but that didn't mean everyone knew who they were, and knowing Eirika she may have wanted to conceal her identity to avoid the erratic attention her royal status might have brought to have a peaceful holiday; on top of that, while Serafew had not been hit the worst by the great quake, lives were still lost, and a considerable number of the current population were relatively recent settlers.

Before Ephraim could proffer a guess, Eirika suddenly appeared behind the innkeeper. Recognizing Ephraim, she smiled warmly. "Oh, that's him." She slipped past the other woman. She moved and spoke with grace and composure, but her hastiness betrayed her excitement. "Come, brother; I reserved a stall for your horse."

Ephraim grinned widely as she moved to take the reins. "Of course. So responsible…"

He heard his sister chuckle softly in response as the innkeeper made the appropriate markings in her registry. She wore a smile as well, apparently relieved that everything had worked out. "I just ask that you dust the snow off yourselves before trying to come back inside."

The twins thanked her in sync, and laughed at themselves as she closed the door. For a moment they said nothing and were still as they looked at each other. Then they laughed at this awkwardness, for being so uncharacteristic of them; they were twins! No matter how long it had been since they had last met, they had shared more of each other's lives than most could comprehend, and would always be a part of each other.

And they knew this without saying.

So Ephraim suddenly grabbed Eirika into a tight hug, mashing the snow that had collected on his coat into her, giggling mischievously as she shrieked--"No! Cold! The horse--the reins!"--and shoved him away.

"And you look so pleased with yourself! Pulling such hijinks right next to a horse… what if he ran off when I let go of his reins? Or kicked us?"

"No, I would never put you in danger like that! This is my own horse. I know he doesn't spook like that. He's a brave warrior."

"Oh, I see." Eirika turned to the horse and stroked his neck. "You're a good boy. Not like my naughty brother…" She seemed to realize something. "Ephraim, isn't this the same horse… that you fought the Demon King with?"

"That's right," Ephraim said proudly, reaching out to pat the beast's mane.

"Oh, you are the most good boy." Eirika told the horse.

"Oh, definitely."

They continued to shower the steed in adoring praise as they led him into the stable, where Ephraim began to remove his tack and prepare him for the night. Eirika shifted uncomfortably as she watched, trying to figure out how to say what she wished to.

"How fares Renais?" Ephraim broke the silence.

Eirika blinked, then answered, "Oh, nothing major has happened. We're standing on our feet well enough. It's been much the same since the last letter I sent you."

"Ah. I'm honestly not sure if I read that one. I'm receiving so many letters these days. I--" he chuckled-- "I got this one from Myrrh…"

"What did she say that's so funny?"

"Oh, it's not really funny. Well, a bit. But it's also sort of sad." He sniffed; all the time in the cold air had made his nose run. "She--very politely, very humbly--asked me to seek a wife and have children, so that she may have someone to remember me by when I have passed away."

"Oh, my…" Eirika moved her hand to her mouth.

"I cannot help feeling as though an aging parent has asked for grandchildren."

"I… I do see what you mean," said Eirika, trying not to grin.

"But really, I'm the one who's aging. And I realize how scared of being alone she must feel, and…" he sighed. "I never noticed it before, but in a lot of ways, she is very much like Lyon."

The silence that followed was deafening.

Eirika ventured, "You've taken such good care of Grado for him."

Ephraim grimaced slightly in the dark of the stable. That had been his intention in taking up position as Grado's regent--to fulfill his late friend's wishes--but he kept feeling like he had backstabbed an innocent man and was now looting the corpse.

Hearing no response from her brother, Eirika continued cautiously: "I mean… you've managed to keep the people of the Empire well, even in the wake of such disaster. He'd be so glad to see it." Ephraim bit his lip, knowing he had only been able to accomplish this with the help of his friends leading the other nations--friends which Lyon had been unable to make and seek aid from. He remembered the bitter envy that had plagued Lyon, that Ephraim had been so blind to, teasing him like his feelings were nothing to him.

Eirika noticed his changing mood by his quiet and stillness, and cried, "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make you sad. I only meant--I'm very proud of you, and that's why… I feel so sorry that… I don't have a gift for you."

"That's alright. We don't have anything to prove to each other."

"Ah, so you don't have one for me either." Her posture relaxed as she felt relief. "I would have felt so terrible if you gave me something and I had nothing to give in return." She laughed softly. "We really are the same sometimes. Even--look," she pointed to a horse whose pale coat was visible in the dim light of the stable.

Ephraim stepped forward. "Is that…?"

"My horse. My horse from the battle with the Demon King."

They both looked at one another for a second and laughed again.

"I do have something for you, though," Ephraim told her when it was quiet again, his voice heavy. "It's… you could call it a gift, but it isn't from me."

Eirika gazed wide-eyed at her twin brother. They went back out into the snow. His hands shaking slightly, Ephraim opened a leather bag, pulled out a small object and concealed it in his fist. He glanced up at the darkening sky and took a quick, deep breath, blowing out a foggy breath into the wintry air, evidently nervous. Eirika dared not ask what could be so serious.

Ephraim held out his hands. "This is…" he trailed off as Eirika gently began to peel back his fingers, which were closed around a small box. "We found this--we at Grado… it was in Lyon's belongings."

There was only one thing such a box could hold.

She carefully took the box into her hands. "And… you're certain he intended it for me?"

"It was found with documents… written in his handwriting. Drafts of proposal words using your name, arguments to be made to get the blessing of our father and his own, notes and sketches of… of the flowers, the clothing, the party, the venue…"

Eirika had opened the box. Her eyes stared into the stone, sparkling like the snow. She said nothing, but Ephraim could tell by how the shock on her face turned to wonder and then pain that she was having the same thoughts that he was of a time that never was, when Lyon proposed to Eirika, and she lived with him in Grado; of the wedding that united Renais and Grado; of the children they were going to have together.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't make you sad on this holy day. But… I feel as though I owe it to Lyon, and the way I see it, the ring belongs to you."

"... I see…" She had taken the ring out of the box and was now holding it in her fingers, running them along the band while gazing into the depths of the gem as if hypnotized. It was all so much that it was not quite going through yet.

"...If he had proposed to you, what would you have done?"

Pulled from her reverie, she glanced at her twin in surprise--"Oh, I don't know--" then at the heavens as she began to imagine again. "I'm so confused about how I feel now, it's hard to put myself in the position of how I felt back when things were simple, and he was just a kind friend, with his wonderful ideas and… making me feel so appreciated, and respected, and admired..." Her eyes had drifted back to the gemstone; it was as though if she looked close enough, she could see him, entreating her with a sweet smile, batting his eyes without even knowing it, the way he did. "Oh, who am I kidding? I could never have broken his heart." She sighed. "If only he knew that. Since he felt so seriously, I wonder why he never did ask…."

As tears seemed to gather in her eyes, Ephraim felt the same happening to him.

"I'm so sorry. This is my fault. You--you deserved this, and--"

"How is it your fault?" Eirika cried, alarmed.

"Because I know why he never asked. He felt like he was unworthy, because--I made him feel that way. I was insensitive--cruel, even. And he never stood up to me because he was afraid of losing what little friendship he had. And so if I weren't such a terrible friend, maybe you two would have married, and he wouldn't have been alone when everything happened and… he'd still be alive now."

Eirika placed her hands on Ephraim's shoulders as tears ran down both of their faces. Ephraim didn't look up at her, he felt so heavy. So she asked him: "Whose fault was the earthquake?"

That got his attention. "What?"

"The landslide that devastated Grado," she explained. "Whose fault is that?"

It was an absurd question at an inappropriate time, but she had such a peculiar look on her face, so he answered her despite his furrowed brow. "No one. It just happened."

"Sometimes, things just happen." She moved her arms around him. "We were hardly more than children. You could not have known then what you know now."

"But--"

"Do you ever recite your memories in your mind, over and over? Thinking 'I was such a fool!'?"

"All the time." Some of the weight lessened, and he held his arms around her.

"Then we really are alike." She shut her eyes. "You're not the only insensitive one. All of the time, I remember something from our time together, only I have learned so much now…" she shook her head. "And I kick myself, wondering how I could have missed every hint he dropped. I was so naive. If I had noticed his feelings, I could have sorted out my own, and…" Eirika looked into Ephraim's eyes. "I have blamed myself, too. But to blame ourselves for being young fools… we would have to blame Lyon too. It just seems too cruel."

"You're right." Ephraim hugged Eirika, for real this time, positioning himself to whisper. "The kindness that he treated us with… he would want us to treat ourselves the same way." He sighed. "But I can't shake the feeling, when I laugh now, or when people praise me while they still blame Lyon… that all I've ever done is rob him of his happiness."

"I've heard many a lord at court say they wished for people's happiness. But he truly meant it. To reduce your friendship merely to his feelings of jealousy does him a disservice. He loved us. He would not want to deny us our happiness forever just because he is not here."

Ephraim pulled back and nodded, tucking Eirika's hair behind her ear. "Yes. And to honor him, I won't stop telling people the truth about who Lyon really was."

Eirika smiled. "As for me," she said. "I can't become his wife. But if Lyon wanted me to have this ring, well…" she put it on her finger.

"That's not the right finger, is it?"

"Seeing me walk back in wearing an engagement ring, people might assume that you…"

"Oh, no."

They shared another laugh. "What do you think?" Eirika asked. "What would Lyon want right now…?

"Um… I'm not sure."

"Maybe… a snowball fight?" Her eyes gleamed playfully. "I have to get you back, after all."

"Ah, maybe tomorrow. It's already quite dark, and you don't want to lose that ring."

"Of course. Then let's head inside and have a hot drink." They joined hands, smiled at each other, and headed toward the warmth.

#Nagamas 2021 #anonymous #ziziblueblur #fanfic #eirika #ephriam #nagamas

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hasereshdoneanythingwrong · 3 years

Text

Ain’t No Party Like an Uruk Party

(These events take place during GilFest. More specifically at the end of the festival)

New York was saved. The festival hosted by the mighty Gilgamesh had come to an end and the strange invader Ishtar had been defeated. All that was left now was to celebrate, and nobody knew celebration like Gilgamesh. The lavish penthouse atop the King of Hero’s skyscraper was alight with activity. Music, dancing, food, drink, laughter. All of it was present during the King’s celebration. Sure things hadn’t gone off without a hitch but now that the work was over, he had uncorked many a bottle to share.

Faye obviously was in attendance for the festivities but quickly became overwhelmed at everything going on. Sure no one knew parties like Gil, but that also meant he didn’t know any sense of moderation. Especially once Iskandar and the other Kings got involved. Surely Faye could step out for a minute or two, right?

The young master made her way onto the balcony of the penthouse. The crisp evening air rose goosebumps on her exposed arms as she looked across the skyline. The City That Never Sleeps surely lived up to its name as light twinkled from both above and below. While Faye couldn’t exactly see the best view of the starry sky, every once and a while she could make out a faint constellation. Sitting down on a nearby chair, Faye took off her heels and massaged her aching feet. She never did like heels, but it’s not like she could have come to the part in her casual clothes. No, a party like this demanded opulence and finery.

Faye sighed, her posture relaxing as she took in a breath of fresh air. Her mind wandered as she sat alone on the balcony. She began to think of how this all came about. That fateful day with Mash, the Grand Order thus far. The pseudo singularities. Everything that has happened in her life to give her such a unique view on the world. After all, who else could say that they knew so many legends firsthand?

Faye’s thought were interrupted as she felt a presence exit the building. The sound of heels gently clicking made Faye quickly struggle to get her own on before the guest was upon her. As she had leaned down and almost gotten the second heel on, a voice came from beside her.

???: Ahem, is this seat taken?

Faye looked up, hand still caught in her shoe as a familiar, beautiful, divine figure stood before her. Ishtar, in all her divine glory complete with an elegant white dress with gold accents matching her normal attire, looked on impatiently for an answer. Faye wordlessly gestured a welcoming response, prompting the Goddess of Beauty to take a seat next to her Master. Faye quickly finished with her heel before sitting upright at attention, trying to play off the snafu that she’d been caught in.

Faye: What are you doing out here, Ishtar? I thought you’d be inside with the others.

Ishtar sighed a very ungoddess-like sigh as she looked over to Faye.

Ishtar: That damned King was getting on my nerves. “Useless goddess” this, “what are you doing” that. Even a “put those gems down Ishtar!” Can you believe that?

Faye chuckled nervously as the mental image played out in her head.

Ishtar: So I decided to come get some air. What about you, Faye? I was sure you’d be inside living it up.

Faye, shrugging: I guess I got a little….overwhelmed. Sometimes you just need some peace from the crowd, if that makes any sense.

Ishtar: It does. I may love attention, but having too many worshippers asking things if you gets tedious, even for a goddess as great as myself.

Faye chuckled a bit as Ishtar poured next to her.

Ishtar: What was that? Are you laughing at me?

Faye: No, No that’s not it. It’s just, that’s such a human concern. I just was surprised is all.

Ishtar looked off with a huff. She cracked open a side eye towards her master as she replied.

Ishtar: I-It’s just this host! Yeah! She’s the reason I’m feeling like this. Not to mention—

Ishtar was cut off as a sound floated on the wind. All the ever present laughter and rambunctiousness faded and a melody shone through. Entranced, Faye and Ishtar sat outside, the two of them sharing a moment as they listened to the divine sound coming from inside. Ishtar stood, extending a hand to the still seated Faye.

Ishtar: Master, dance with me.

Faye took Ishtar’s hand, the two of them falling into a very simple dance, more swaying than anything else as they moved together. 1-2-3, 1-2-3. Faye had to keep repeating that to herself internally as to not step on the foot of the Goddess before her. The two continued their dance for a while longer, the melody growing in complexity.

A side step, a twirl, another step, all keeping time with the music behind them as Faye and Ishtar locked eyes. Faye looked into those crimson beauties as they shone with a spark she rarely saw in the goddess. As the song built into a crescendo, the intensity rising, Faye found herself ever closer to Ishtar, the two embracing one another. Finally the climax of the song came, the two moving together, both forward into a kiss. Ishtar wrapped her arms behind Faye’s head as they shared this moment together.

Time seemed to stop as they stood there, unmoving. The two broke apart, their eyes still lost within each other as Father Time got his due. The music picked back up and both the Goddess and her Master stepped apart. They moved over to the bench, hands intertwined as they liked upon the skyline together

Faye: Thank you, Ishtar. That was lovely.

Ishtar: Of course it was with a goddess as amazing as me involved.

Ishtar’s bravado faded as she squeezed Faye’s hand. A voice came from inside. Mash was calling from the party floor.

Mash: Senpai! We’re waiting on you! Please come back inside!

The Master and her Girlfriend chuckled as they shared a brief, chaste kiss. Standing, Faye pulled Ishtar up to her as she spoke.

Faye: Come on, my Goddess. The party awaits.

Tags below

@hasishtardoneanythingwrong @haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @hasbbdoneanythingwrong @hashokusaidoneanythingwrong @hasmataharidoneanythingwrong @hasjalterdoneanythingwrong

#fate grand order #my mastersona #faye #ishtar #IshFaye #my writing #self indulgent dancing fluuuuuuffff

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sami-at-ciela · 3 years

Text

Prompt 4: Baleful

Or: “MEN HAVE COOTIES. *Cooties not confirmed with certainty.”

Or: “Momma said there’d be days like this.”

Spoilers for Shadowbringers. Again. Because That’s where I am guys.

When Minfilia woke up that day, she was paralyzed by a feeling of dread, not even wanting to leave her bed due to a distinct hunch that terrible things were going to happen. Not extremely terrible, but terrible enough to make a girl not want to leave her room.

The group would move on eventually. This stop at the Crystarium was supposed to be brief. Terrified of the nebulous badness as she was, she knew she would have to leave her room eventually.

The first thing she did was open the door into Thancred’s face.

“Oh no, I-I’m sorry,” Minfilia stammered. Thancred wasn’t quite the type to explode into castigation, but sometimes the coldness she got from him was enough.

Thancred grumbled and rubbed his nose. “Maybe don’t open your door so fast next time?”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. But how could I have known you were walking by?

“Fine.” Thancred dug into a pocket and dug out a bag of ammunition that had to be twice as large as usual. “Your homework for today.”

Minfilia accepted the bag and immediately noticed the heft. “How much is in here…?” she asked, even though she knew she shouldn’t have.

“Enough for the next mission,” Thancred said. “Go on.” With that, he walked off, looking stormy as ever.

Though the exchange hadn’t been completely negative, Minfilia couldn’t help but shudder. She was used to people being cold or thorny to her, sure, but the sting never quite dissipated completely. Shaking her head, she went to find a place to wait and imbue bullets for the next hour or so.

That place ended up being the stairs in front of the Ocular. It was a decent vantage point to people watch without being too distracted by commotion. Sighing, she took the first of many bullets out of the bag, called aether to her fingertips, and began to work.

Said work was swiftly interrupted by a racket from behind her. “You can’t throw me out of here! What’re you gonna do next time you want a private meeting? Look, you can’t even body block me, I could jump over your head!” The diatribe was followed by a shriek of “Who gave you permission to have me dragged out by security?!” and the slamming of the Ocular door.

Minfilia turned around to see Rhea still shouting insults at the Ocular door. “What, did you crap crystals out sideways this morning?!”

The door opened, the Exarch stuck his head out, said something that she couldn’t quite hear, and slammed the door again.

Rhea finally abandoned the Ocular door after a veritable roar of frustration, veritably fuming as she walked down the stairs, at least until she spotted Minfilia. “Oh, hi, Minfi. Sorry about the ruckus, but someone woke up with a crystal stick all the way up his-”

“Minfi?”

Calling out the nickname jarred Rhea out of her diatribe. “Er. Minfilia. Sorry. I just thought you deserved a cute nickname.”

Minfilia paused and mulled it over, a small smile coming to her face. The idea of a nickname was nice, a small bit of personalization for someone whose path was all laid out for her, even if that personalization was still from someone else. “I like it.”

“Good!” Rhea reached out to pat Minfilia on the head, and thought better of it. “Uh. I want to give you head pats, but do you even like them? I saw Thancred do it, but he too has a giant crystal stick somewhere unpleasant, so.”

“I don’t mind it.” Minfilia decided that was truthful; those occasional head pats from Thancred were something of a blessing. They felt nice, and for a brief moment, she wondered who else had been fortunate enough to receive a gentle touch from such warm hands.

“Fair. If I pat your head too hard, just let me know, okay?” Rhea administered two quick, measured pats.

“Oh!” Minfilia wasn’t expecting the pats even though she was. “Um, that wasn’t bad. Just different.”

“Also fair,” Rhea said. “I’ll give you better ones when I’m not contemplating blasting a hole in the Ocular door.”

“Why would you do that?”

Before Rhea explained, she peered in the distance and saw a familiar figure striding up to the stairs. “Hey, Alisaie, over here!” she called out with a wave.

Alisaie pivoted to face Rhea without missing a beat. With a remarkable quickness, she was in front of the duo on the stairs. “Rhea, Minfilia. Having a stair-sitting party today?”

Minfilia shrugged. “I thought it would be a nice place to work,” she said as she gestured with the bullet still in her hand.

Rhea gave a huff. “Yes. It’s in protest. The Exarch woke up cranky as crystal cat litter today, summoned me to argue about something stupid, and then kicked me out even though he started it. So he’s going to see nothing but my backside today.”

Alisaie snorted. “A lover’s quarrel?”

“What? No.” Rhea jolted, and the words fell out somewhat by accident. The truth was more complicated than a flat “no,” but she wasn’t going to go into that at this moment. “Maybe I should strip naked and dance in front of the door… except I think he might enjoy that, just a bit.”

“Right, lover’s quarrel it is then,” Alisaie said with a cheeky grin.

“Stoppat,” Rhea grunted, deliberately mashing the words together. She looked over to see Minfilia covering her mouth and obviously trying to hold back the giggles. “It’s okay, Minfi, someday you’ll find a man or woman or person in general who you want to punch but also smother in your bosom, just a little.”

“Minfi? Oh,” Alisaie said as she put two and two together. “You’re really not helping your case of it not being a lover’s quarrel, Rhea.”

“Stoooooop,” Rhea whined, reaching forward to teasingly pull Alisaie’s ponytail but thinking better of it because, while Alphinaud would whine and squirm, Alisaie would take her hand off. “Well, anyway, what brings you out here? I’ve explained myself, and I can only assume that Minfilia’s out here because Thancred is being extra Thancred-y today. Right?”

Minfilia looked down, ashamed. “I opened a door in his face today.”

“That’s okay. He’s being a jerk, especially to you, and I’m mad at him,” Rhea said. “You can be mad at him too, you know.”

Alisaie cut in with her explanation. “Alphinaud woke up all aflutter because he had a dream where he had to paint… someone. He wasn’t clear about it but he was clearly disturbed, so I left him to panic on his own.”

“Let me guess, a nude painting?” Rhea asked.

“How did you know? I do believe he mentioned that,” Alisaie mused, raising her hand to her chin in the Leveilleur twins’ signature thinking position.

“Aww, baby’s having his first smutty dreams,” Rhea said before bursting into cackles.

Alisaie scrunched her nose up. “Rhea, that’s my brother. Gross.”

“Oh, to be young,” Rhea said through a sigh. She looked over to see Minfilia scrunching her nose up too. “Sorry. Minfi. How old are you again? I’m afraid I lose all sense of scale when people are younger than 18…”

Alisaie exhaled heavily before taking a seat on the stairs next to Rhea. “So, it seems we’re all having trouble with the boys in our lives today.”

“Boys?” Rhea snickered. “Yeah, boys. The Exarch’s man license is revoked for today.” She paused, her teasing grin fading. “Which, I think, was part of the problem we were arguing over.”

“What did you do to him?” Alisaie asked. “Actually, no, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.”

On the side, Minfilia sighed and put her still un-imbued bullet back in the bag. “Things really do get more complicated as you get older,” she muttered.

“It’s true,” Rhea said. “But there’s more opportunities, too.” A pause passed as all three women slipped into their own heads, at least until Rhea realized something. “Have either of you had breakfast? I haven’t.”

Minfilia shook her head. “That’s right… all I did was take the bullets from Thancred and come here.”

Alisaie did the same. “I woke up late and took a walk to get myself alert. No breakfast yet.”

Rhea looked at Minfilia, shocked. “That man didn’t even point you to breakfast? Ooooh, he is in for it when I see him next.” At last, she stood up, folding her arms. “That’s it. We’re having a Girls’ Morning. All three of us are going out to breakfast, and then to the markets to window shop, or actually shop depending on your preference.”

“That… sounds nice,” Minfilia said, smiling softly. It sounded like a slice of a normal life, where friends grouped up and enjoyed each other’s company, which made the idea all the more appealing.

“I agree, though I may pass on the markets,” Alisaie added.

“I hear there’s new armor in stock,” Rhea teased. “Or, as they’re calling it these days, ‘glam.’”

“Everyone knows the best ‘glam’ isn’t in stores,” Alisaie countered as she stood up. “Well? Shall we?”

Minfilia stood up in turn and followed Rhea and Alisaie, listening to the two bounce off each other. The sense of dread from her awakening had dissipated, replaced by curiosity and a tentative joy. The respite would be brief, but she would savor the moments.

#ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite2021

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delimeful · 4 years

Text

you will see a better day

donation drive commission for @starrykid with the prompt: Remus dealing with intrusive thoughts and the others helping him through it.

warnings: canon setting, intrusive thoughts (a fair amount), gore mentions, implications of thoughts of self harm, Remus Going Thru It

Before, whenever he had a Bad Day, it was just more fuel on the trash fire that was his brain.

It was routine: Remus would wake up with a litany of grotesque images on the back of his eyelids, present every time he blinked or squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. These thoughts weren’t the fun kind of gross, the type that was fascinating or funny. They weren’t fun because he didn’t choose them, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get rid of them if he didn’t like them.

Guess that was how everyone else felt about you. Remus mashed a pillow over his own face as though it would muffle his own mind. What a stupid thought. He was a luxury few could afford, thank-you-very-much!

Back then, as soon as possible, he would find someone else in the Mindscape to bother, because if he had to deal with the awful thoughts carving and chipping away at the inside of his skull, it was only fair to share.

That was before, when things had been black and white and he could be a monster all he pleased because it wasn’t like anyone else thought differently. It wasn’t like Thomas thought differently.

Until he did.

And now they were all in one muddled up Mindscape and the others were trying, making an effort to clot their own bad habits and setting a place for him at the table. It was slow-going, like shoving a square peg into a circular hole, but it was also the most he’d ever had. Until something splintered, he was going to soak in every minute of it.

Or at least, that was his plan, up until he hit another Bad Day like a semi truck hit thrice-dead roadkill.

Same thoughts, same pounding (heh) headache. The difference was, now he couldn’t go word-vomit all over the nearest Side until he felt a little less like he was drowning. He was working to keep the delicate peace in his own way, and that meant not bothering the others with his… himself-ness on days like these.

He couldn’t stay in his room all day, though. For one it was boring, and for two, ever since they’d all agreed to try and cohabitate, Patton and Janus in particular were insistent on checking in if anyone acted strange. Cooping up in his room and not being his usual fantastically sickening and outrageous self would definitely pop up on their radar. If that happened, there was no way he could fool Janus outright. He preferred his own brand of frank honesty anyways, so clearly the only solution was to behave normally enough that nobody looked twice.

His version of normal, anyhow.

He groaned loudly and then dragged in a breath, manifesting a pair of slippers that looked uncannily like dead fish onto his feet. He would just have to put his excellent acting skills to use.

—-

Remus’s willpower was put to the test as soon as he reached the kitchen. A new record of his ability to destroy plans, this must be why Janus never told him anything.

Patton was spinning himself in circles on one of the round stools by the bar counter, humming a cartoon theme brightly to himself. At the stovetop, Virgil was sedately flipping pancakes, an easy set to his shoulders that meant he had probably recently taken a long-overdue nap in Logan’s room.

Normally, Remus would already be halfway into teasing the hell out of him, but now his brain felt scrambled with panic. Virgil was particularly susceptible to getting dragged into the cycle of intrusive thoughts on days like these, which meant the anxious Side was the last one he wanted to run into at the moment.

Two birds with one brick, his stupid hell brain suggested slyly. Send Virgil into a spiral and then it’ll be him who gets nagged, his fault for ruining the friendly atmosphere.

Stop it. Remus’s face twitched into a self-directed snarl for a moment, and he forced the thought away as Patton finally slowed his rotation to smile dizzily at him.

“Remus! Good morning!”

Virgil glanced over his shoulder, sending Remus’s heart rate briefly into the triple digits. Be normal be normal be normal. “Hey, Re. Morning.”

He didn’t even notice. So much for being your friend. If you’re subtle enough, you could sidle up behind him and smash his face into the hot burner—

“WHAT’S UP, FUCKERS!” Remus shouted, teeth spread in a too-wide grin. He bounced into the kitchen, depositing an assorted handful of teeth (his preferred currency) into the swear jar before Patton could say anything, and planted himself on the middle bar stool.

Patton scooted one stool closer to be next to him, because of course he did. Remus resisted the urge to start prying out handfuls of hair, his own or— no. Toned down, he was keeping it toned down. Buttcheek on a stick, this was difficult.

“Want to spin with me?” Patton asked, shifting antsily from side to side with barely contained energy.

“Whoever pukes first wins?” Remus replied automatically, and felt a bright burst of giddy joy when Patton giggle-snorted instead of recoiling.

“I think upchuck is actually supposed to mean you lose your lunch and the spinning contest, kiddo.”

Of course it did. You were designed to be the loser, even if you try to change the rules.

Remus knew that this time Patton had spotted the way his lips twitched down into a grimace, but before the fatherly side could say anything, there was the clink of ceramic plates on the counter in front of them.

“No spinning and/or vomiting if you want to eat my pancakes,” Virgil demanded, wielding a spatula threateningly at them as he clicked the stovetop off. “We’ll never hear the end of it from Princey if he has to reconjure all the furniture.”

Irrational, heated anger burned through him. Like Virgil could do anything to stop you. Social interaction was enough to give the guy a panic attack, he couldn’t tell Remus to do or not do anything—

“You good, Re?” Virgil asked, and he jerked, avoiding the other Side’s gaze as though eye contact would expose his thoughts. After a beat too long, his mind finally caught up with the plate in front of him.

His pancake was covered in a truly disgusting amount of cheese and ketchup, the way he always requested it back when they’d all been Dark Sides. Despite the fact that he always made a face back then, Virgil had made a point to remember, had done it without asking.

Like ravenous wolves, his thoughts instantly turned against him.

Pathetic. How could you think things like that about people who trust you? You shouldn’t even be here, pretending to be a person. You deserve everything coming to you.

His hand made it halfway to the fork sitting innocently next to his plate before he remembered himself. Virgil was still looking at him, clearly having caught the motion, and Remus lowered his hand, white-knuckled.

“Me, good? That’s a funny one, V-mo!” he tried to joke, but the odd edge to his voice made it fall flat. Virgil was outright frowning now, and out of the corner of his vision Patton’s eyebrows were drawing together.

“What’s wrong?” Virgil asked, his frame tight with tension and his gaze drilling into Remus. “Are you hurt?”

“I could be!” Remus blurted, trying to keep his tone saucy but ending up with something closer to desperate. “You ever think maybe bashing my skull in would be better than having to deal with its contents?”

The two of them winced, and he knew he’d given himself away completely. Shit.

Virgil reached out, and then stopped himself before he could make contact. Can you blame him? Jumping into an electrified tank of leeches would be more comfortable than willingly exposing himself to you.

Something of his internal diatribe must have shown on Remus’s face, because Virgil’s hesitant expression flickered into regret.

“Shit,” he swore, and this time Patton didn’t chide him. “I can’t-- I don’t want to send you into a spiral, Re. If I touch you, we’re just going to be stuck in a feedback loop of bad thoughts.”

“Like how you’re perpetually stuck in 2009?” Remus offered, instead of listing all the ways he could feasibly remove Virgil’s eyes from their sockets. It would almost be fun, if it wasn’t his friend’s eyes he was contemplating prying out with a spoon handle.

Virgil’s lips pulled up slightly. “Yeah, just like that. I’m gonna go get the others. They’ll be able to help you for real.”

He sunk out, and Remus’s head started to ache more severely as terrible and often gory predictions for the future began to crowd his mind. He shoved his hands into the roots of his hair and tugged ferociously.

“Hey, buddy, you shouldn’t pull on your hair like that,” a concerned voice chimed in. Remus had almost forgotten Patton was still there, sitting only a seat away.

He pulled harder on his hair, both out of spite and to distract himself from the urge to summon a weapon and see if Patton would still look at you with so much pity if you shanked his ass and tied his intestines into little bows.

“Hey, what do you call a seasick croc?” Patton asked, abruptly enough that Remus managed to shake his train of thought. He glanced up to look at the Heart, who offered him a tremulous mischievous smile. “A crocobile.”

Remus snorted, and Patton’s smile seemed to firm up.

“How about, why do ducks have tail feathers?” the moral Side asked in that same leading tone.

Remus thought for a minute. “‘Cause otherwise they’d lose their balance in flight and go splat against the nearest window?”

“I mean, maybe, but also!” Patton held up a finger for emphasis. “They have tail feathers to cover their… butt-quacks.”

There was a beat of anticipation where they both stared at each other, and then Remus threw his head back and outright cackled. Patton fist pumped in delight.

“I thought you might like that one, kiddo,” he said, beaming. Before Remus could reply, possibly with an atrocious pun of his own, Roman strode into the room.

There was a brief, awkward pause as the two of them made eye contact. Patton looked rapidly between them with concern, and Remus couldn’t blame him. Even now, their one-on-one interactions tended to end with vicious spats. They were too good, too practiced at pressing each other's buttons to settle into the newfound peace easily.

“... Bad one?” he finally asked, as though he could spot the wrong-evil-awful all over Remus from a mile away. Remus felt his expression drop into an irritable glower worthy of Anxiety, but before he could retort, Roman was seating himself primly on the communal couch.

He ran his hand through the hair at the nape of his neck in a nervous habit Remus constantly teased him about, and then straightened his shoulders and patted the cushion next to him. “I’ll… like when we were kids. If you want.”

Despite Patton’s confused head tilt, Remus got it immediately, and ignored the screaming violence in his head in favor of bodily throwing himself over the couch, jostling the hell out of his brother and eliciting a Grade-A Bitchface from him in the process. Remus grinned maliciously in return.

“Do the one that looks like a snake,” he demanded, running a hand through his hair and lengthening it. Of course, in addition, thick clumps of hair ended up falling out entirely, leaving weird-feeling bald patches that might have been interesting if he’d actually intended to create them.

“On purpose or don’t want it?” Roman asked, echoing a familiar question from their childhood. It had been a royal decree, before they grew so divided, that one had to ask before ‘fixing’ anything the other did, just in case it was on purpose.

“How are you supposed to braid what isn’t there?” Remus grumbled, gnawing on the inside of his cheek as he unwillingly imagined restapling his hair to his skull. “Don’t want it.”

Roman dragged his fingers through Remus’s hair, lengthening it until it was long enough to do all sorts of stupid-complicated braids. He also made the new hair unforgivably glossy and apple-scented, but Remus could get him back for that later, when he was sure it wouldn’t be (nails through nasal cavities, a cloud of suffocating darkness, decaying hands pulling you down into freshly turned soil and burying you alive) disproportionate retribution.

Two braids later, Logan appeared, rising up in the mindscape with his tie perfectly aligned but lab goggle imprints around his eyes. He only took a moment to absorb the scene, as though it was normal that everyone was crowding around Remus attentively. “Virgil informed me that you could use some assistance?”

Remus snorted. “Maybe you can perform some impromptu brain surgery to stop me thinking? Hey, if you don’t use anesthetic, I promise not to squirm too much, doc.”

“I don’t believe that man’s ever been to medical school,” Roman quoted absently, still caught up in combining three braids together into one.

Logan rolled his eyes. “Regardless of my unfortunately lacking PhD status, I believe brain surgery to ‘stop one thinking’ is also colloquially referred to as an induced coma.”

“Perfect!” Remus cheered, and then yelped when Roman tugged on his hair harshly in retribution. Patton was making that half-pitiful, half-furious face that he always made whenever the emo talked bad about himself, strangely enough.

“There are plenty of adjectives I could use to describe such a solution, but none of them would be ‘perfect’, Remus,” Logan continued. “A more effective and patient-friendly answer would be addressing your irritating or harmful thoughts through the use of various mental health tactics.”

Easy for him to say. “That might work for Tommy-boy, but I am the harmful or irritating thoughts, remember?”

“Falsehood.” Logan declared, proving that no matter what aspect of Thomas they were, the Sides were all dramatic theater kid bastards at heart. “It has become increasingly clear that while we all formed to handle certain tasks or aspects, we are all increasingly complex at heart. None of us can be diminished to simply one trait. In the same way that Virgil is much more than the experience of anxiety, there is no logical reason to reduce yourself to the thoughts that you struggle with.”

Remus shook his head, though he wasn’t sure what part of the assertion he was resisting. Logan folded himself into a sitting position and reached over for Remus’s hand, his touch grounding.

“You’ve gotten through days like this before. You’ll continue to do so after,” Logan told him.

“I got through Bad Days by making everyone’s day bad,” Remus retorted. “I’m not you, but I’m not stupid. Nobody wants me making it into a communal event.”

“That’s what family’s for though,” Patton said, shifting closer from his own spot on the rug. “Listening. Helping. Having each other’s backs when things get tough!”

Logan’s grip didn’t falter. Roman’s presence was solid at his back. Remus was beginning to wonder if he’d snorted something hallucinogenic recently.

“The sentiment is admirable, if a bit hypocritical,” a familiar voice chimed in, and Remus looked up to see Janus leaning elegantly against the kitchen archway. Virgil elbowed his way past, ruining the dramatic pose and flopping down on the couch next to Remus. He bumped his shoe against Remus’s leg in quiet camaraderie.

“Hypocritical?” Logan echoed, raising an eyebrow.

“Unless you’d like to tell me that everyone here has no problems whatsoever asking for help or expressing vulnerability on their bad days,” Janus proposed, smugly.

Logan inclined his head slightly. “Point.”

“Regardless, that doesn’t make Logic or Morality incorrect.” Janus looked at Remus intently. “None of us are allowed to simply suffer in silence, anymore.”

“I didn’t exactly suffer in silence before,” he pointed out, sounding uncannily sensible. Probably from the nerd’s proximity.

“Then you shouldn’t have a problem now, hmm?” Janus replied.

Logan sighed at them all, collectively, in general. “Look at it from this angle, Remus. Your previous coping mechanism was generally detrimental due to your lack of options and isolation. Now, you have neither of those holding you back. With knowledge and assistance, you can only improve from here on out.”

Now, that was doubtful. “And what if I don’t, huh? What if I just get worse?”

“Then we’ll still be here.” Logan squeezed his hand, and Janus confirmed his words with a nod, and even though his mind was cluttered and overwhelming, they were all still there at his side without complaint.

Maybe it wasn’t too much to ask, after all.

“Well, what are we trying first?”

#sanders sides #ts remus #ts janus #ts roman #ts patton #ts logan #ts virgil #donation drive #commissioned works #writing #my writing #starrykid #woohoo!#hurt/comfort #found family

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hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong · 3 years

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Lights, Camera, Lucha!

After being briefed by Romani (somehow...?) About the teeny tiny Caribbean Hollywood singularity, Rex and his main servant Quetzalcoatl along with Mash Kyrielight reported to the library to talk with Murasaki

(Wtf is with the timeline anyways?)

Quetz: Hola Murasaki! Master Rex and his main servant, Quetzalcoatl along with miss Mash Kyrielight are here!

Murasaki: oh! Good to see you! I'm just getting the script ready... won't be much longer.

Rex: cool...

Murasaki: actually, Mash I have a role that you'd be perfect for!

Mash: oh! I'm more then ready to play!

Rex: actually... can you let us know what the movie is?

Murasaki: hmm? Oh of course Lord Rex.

After explaining the general synopsis of the film.

Rex: hmmm... nope!

Murasaki: no?! What do you mean no?

Rex: I don't think that's a good enough film. Besides, what's mi corazon gonna do the whole time? She should included... in fact she should be the Star!

Murasaki: I mean... I can rewrite it a bit with her in mind...

Rex: actually! I'll help rewrite it completely!

Murasaki: is that necessary? We're kind of tight on time!

Rex: I actually have the perfect film in mind already!

Murasaki: really?!

Rex: yup! I kind of think of these things on my own often.

After some rewrites, they came with a completely different script!

Murasaki: do modern people enjoy this kind of film?

Rex: of course! It's super popular! And can have amazing results when done right!

Quetzalcoatl took a look at the script

Quetz: mi amor! This script actually seems amazing! I'm excited to play this starring role!

Rex: hell yeah!

Murasaki: this does mean we must recast completely. I am not certain the previous actors will be able to fill the new roles.

Rex: it'll be fine! Given the circumstances the proper servants will agree to it.

Murasaki: if you say so...

Mash: hey! Isn't that Moriarty over there?

Rex: huh, he's talking with Nursery Rhyme.

Quetz: mmhmm, anyways! Ignoring that!

Mash: should we really be ignoring him like that?

Murasaki: he seems like he may be a bit distressed actually.

Quetz, sarcastically: oh noooooo.... how unfortunate....

Mash: is everything OK Lady Quetzalcoatl?

Quetz: I'm sorry but I'm not over him trying to KILL MY HUSBAND WITH A METEOR!

Rex: also, Lady would technically be disrespectful since she's a literal goddess.

Murasaki, frantic: oh no! I didn't mean to offend!

Mash: he looks really troubled now

Rex: maybe we should go over there.

Quetz: uuuuugh...fine. but I'm not going, and I won't let mi amor go either!

She says this as she grabs onto Rex.

Rex, not even fighting it: guess you guys gotta handle it.

After Mash and Murasaki go over there, eventually Nursery Rhyme is seen leaving, then Mash comes over to Rex and Quetz.

Mash: Murasaki offered to let Mr. Moriarty join, but we need your ok.

Quetz: No!

Mash: that's a bit harsh

James, from over yonder: I'M SORRY OK!

Quetz: SORRY DOESN'T EVEN BEGIN TO MAKE UP FOR IT!

Mash: maybe you can decide the roll at least?

Quetz: how about a random minion I beat up?!

James: *offended gasp!*

Quetz: gasp all you want!

Rex: he could be a notable minion? With a name? I could fit that in.

Quetz: suuuuure....! So long as I can harm him!

James: will letting you hurt me finally absolve me of that particular sin!?

Quetz: Nah! But I'll feel a lil better!

James: ugh...

Rex: ya really can't blame her... that was kinda traumatizing.

So the new script was written and Rex and Quetz were to go on and film this amazing and so much better film!

A/N: so yeah, after @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong mentioned the idea, Quetz will now be the star of the film. It's a completely new film. I do have a vague idea, but kinda wanna see how the event proper goes down first before I continue on with that.

Tags

@hasishtardoneanythingwrong @hasereshdoneanythingwrong @haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @hasbbdoneanythingwrong @hasnightingaledoneanythingwrong @renmeo @kazmetic @grievouslyxorvia

#fate grand order #quetzalcoatl #wife #mastersona #rexcoatl #rex #mash kyrielight #murasaki shikibu #james moriarty #event rewrite

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flying-elliska · 3 years

Text

Shadow and Bone Season 1 Review

Ok so I got distracted by a need to watch all of Ben Barnes' filmography (lmao) but here is my review : It was really fun to watch and it was clearly made with love which is already the main thing with YA fantasy, which is often turned into a soulless moneygrab when put on screen. The actors were GREAT. I did think that the Crows suffered from being mashed up with the Shadow and Bone story, but they were still a highlight. I also think it was a bit rushed, esp. when it came to Alina's training. The costumes were beautiful, I want a kefta now. Plus the crossover fanfic interactions btw the SaB characters and the Crows were just pure joy. Also Milo, obviously <3 I'm in hyperfixation mode so here, have an essay :

The "Shadow and Bone" Characters :

- Jessie Mei Li !!!!!! She really made me like Alina so much more than in the books, she absolutely is the 'human embodiment of literal sunshine' and she was a joy to watch. Her character's arc is cliché but her acting is so expressive and endearing, I really felt for her all the way through. (maybe I'm biased bc Jessie talking about her ADHD and seeing her thrive at the same time is like!!! i love them they deserve all the best.) I like that they made Alina more proactive - even though she does make some stupid decisions... but I just don't understand people who put that down as bad writing, like ??? have you ever met a real person who only makes wise, good decisions ?? a character like that would either be at the end of their story or just in the background because that makes them static. The things with the maps in the beginning does a good job of illustrating how she is just this one girl making rash, erratic decisions out of fear and loyalty and doesn't have a sense of the bigger picture, caught in the tide of bigger events. It works for her character. When it comes to the choice of making her half-Shu, I do think it really makes sense re: her character feeling like an outsider but I do understand the criticisms that the microaggressions felt too relentless and one-note. I am really looking forward to them introducing Tamar and Tolya and hopefully connecting to them over her heritage in a more positive way.

- Mal in the books was one of the most annoying YA characters I've ever come across, so I really liked that they made him much more of a loyal, devoted friend. I found his relationship with Alina cute, it really gives us the sense that these are two orphans who found a home in each other, childhood best friends (and potential sweethearts) separated by war, two army grunts and ordinary people caught up in the wheels of power and war that usually crushes people like them, it's a great way to introduce the dynamics of their world and it's a trope that always makes me emo. It felt a bit too one note to me, though, and too heavily on the nose, like Mal's only personality was his attachment to Alina (and his resentment towards the Grisha) and too much of her emotional arc also relied on him. Them hitting us over the head with the meadow scenes felt like pure telling instead of showing and it ended up being super repetitive and kind of annoying. I am willing to like this pairing, but I wanted more scenes of them just having conversations about things and really understanding why they like each other beyond the whole childhood friends bond that we're asked to accept exists at the beginning. So I hope there's more depth there in next seasons.

- Ben Barnes!!!! Just jksdfhgkdjghdf. I'm not a big villain stan usually and I hated the Darkling in the books but DAMN his performance is just amazing. They managed to make him more sympathetic and human while at the same time making clear the stuff he does is deeply horrible. There's the Magneto-aspect of 'well clearly his methods are fucked up but he's addressing a terrible injustice nobody is doing anything about' that makes it very tempting to root for him ; and again, well, like, Ben Barnes is so hot and charismatic it feels uncomfortable (which I guess is part of the point lol). His loss of humanity is, up to a point, understandable, brought about by despair, loneliness, grief and a sense of powerlessness - living so long he starts to see other people as disposable, losing so many people he stops caring, seeing over and over how hate never seems to stop, etc. It's a logical explanation for going insane.

But the hunger for power is also very much present as a motivation and this ambiguity is there constantly. Does he maybe come to genuinely care for Alina or is it totally bullshit ? I think he does, he's just so fucked up that it comes out as possessiveness and a need to control her. He wants Alina to be his equal but he's incapable of treating her that way. It's tragic, in a sense, but the show doesn't excuse his actions either. Like his monstrosity is a product of this world full of injustice, yes, and that warrants some compassion, monsters are always a symptom of their environment in some ways and dehumanizing them completely is an excuse ; but at the same time, he sabotaged his own cause anyway the moment he started to treat other people like things, as he does with Alina, because that just perpetuates the cycle of violence and hate. At some point he started feeling like he was the only solution and he was owed power for his sacrifices, and he's using his cause as an excuse. When Alina came to him, there was a possibility for redemption, taking down the Fold, and it's a test because there is finally someone on his level of power. But instead of seeking to remedy the power imbalance between them, he made it worse, by lying to her, manipulating her, etc, and the antler collar is the ultimate sign of this.

I love those scenes towards the end (the antler-based body horror has big Hannibal vibes, so messed up). I like Alina telling him they could have had this, that she had compassion for him and his cause, that they could have worked together, and he's the one responsible for screwing it up and this time his claim that he's the misunderstood victim ("Make me your villain") appears delusional and self-serving instead of somewhat justified. The almost-lovers to enemies vibes, the sense of lost potential, and the angst of the whole 'oh you could finally have been loved by people, too bad you fucked it up !', very juicy. There is this fundamental idea that power/respect/love is not something you are owed no matter how good your intentions are or because you're strong or you have suffered or you're willing to commit horrible drastic actions, you have to keep proving you deserve it, and trying to claim power without responsibility of care turns you into a monster. The thing with the stag was an excellent metaphor of the fact that there's things you can't take, they have to be given to you, and the wonderful power there is in understanding that is what allows Alina to harness the stag amplifier's power. This is really when she escapes his grim utilitarian outlook and a different way forward and owns her own power fully on her own terms.

Anyway I hope Alina gets to beat the shit out of him at some point that would be very sexy but I'm also looking forward to see how their arcs parallel and diverge from each other as Alina starts to grapple more with the implications of her power and the harsh dilemmas of war and her own dark side. I want to see him become scared of her, and I feel it will be more visible than in the books where he just has this cold aggressive facade all the time. This one feels a lot more openly emotional which is just a lot more interesting.

- As for the other characters ; Zoya mostly made me sad. The actress has the perfect vibes but I'm not sure I love their take on her character so far, it does make sense in terms of the later books - that she has internalized prejudice regarding her mixed-race heritage, that she is jealous of Alina because of how hard she's fought to get where she is and Alina kind of takes it away from her, etc. But I would have liked to see a bit more of her being badass and sharp-tongued in a clever (even if mean) way instead of spending most of her time being rejected by men and being racist towards Alina. I did like the ending though, of her actually seeing the monstrosity of the Darkling in action and the mention of her aunt. And her brief bonding with Inej was great, just because it was badass but also maybe because it could be a part of Zoya learning to accept her Suli heritage in turn, maybe not right away but in time, when thinking of that part of herself, she won't only think of her parents' ruined marriage and all the pain it caused, but also of that badass and brave acrobat girl who went toe to toe with these really scary monsters without even having any powers and !!!!!

- Also Leigh's cameo was so cute and as an aspiring writer this is just such wish fulfillment

- I honestly think that having the Crows there actually made the S&B story better ? Not only in terms of the much needed levity breaks but also in terms of themes. For instance, Matthias and Nina's story gave us a really raw and visceral view of how the Grisha are hunted. And Inej's relationship to Alina really gave us a sense of what Alina actually means to people who believe in the Saints in a way that doesn't feel just like 'ugh those superstitious people' because we know that Inej's faith is part of what makes her who she is and a person with morals, and something that saw her through the worst moments of her life. It feels so special that she got to meet Alina and given a sign that maybe the world is not completely shitty. And Alina's kindness towards Inej really gives you a sense that she might be, or become worthy of that belief in time, or at least that she wants to, that she's figuring out her power to really touch people's lives might be a good thing, and that she's starting to accept this responsibility more fully. And her arming Inej is a nice parallel to that. I'm very emotional about this scene, because one of the first things we see of young Alina is her taking out a knife to defend Mal from the bullies, because she's protective and brave, but she's also aware the world is a shitty place, and so her giving that knife to Inej is a sort of spiritual transmission and recognition of sorts, that she trusts Inej with that fighting power, that she'll use this knife to defend herself and her loved ones and not abuse it. It's so interesting. And a counter point to the Darkling's fucked up relationship to power that Alina might at some point get afraid she'll replicate. That you could see Alina trying to gather followers and using people's admiration for her like he did but instead she sets them free and empowers them. It's great. And I feel that when Inej takes to the seas, she'll think about Alina. (I do hope somebody tells her Alina's not dead at some point though god). Girls giving each other knives is my spirituality, honestly.

- And I also noticed an interesting parallel between Kaz and the Darkling in terms of being two emo dudes who like to wear black, are prone to violence and have a thing for two very powerful women they think are special and want to have at their side, but of course, they go about it in very different ways. The Darkling comes at it from a place of power while Kaz comes from a place of utter powerlessness, first of all, and he understands why it's important to set Inej free. Him spending the entire season trying to earn enough money to pay off Inej's indenture is the opposite to the Darkling putting that collar on Alina and while I do have issues with how the show portrays him, I do love that. Love is about setting the person you love free !!!! And that confrontation scene was so powerful, when Kaz tells the Darkling Alina was tired of being a captive ! Drag him !

- As for Genya, I liked the actress and her chemistry with Alina, but I'm not sure they did a great job of making her arc very clear, for instance what it means for her to get that red kefta, her relationship with the other Grisha, etc. Her and David are already very cute though. Also very much looking forward to see where that goes.

So yeah I think they did a great job with this bit actually, I enjoyed a lot more than I think I would and even though it is a very tropey story, there's plenty of depth there too.

The Crows :

- I'm a bit more nitpicky about this because I care about these characters so much. I think overall the problem is that the SaB story in the books happens on this massive scale with enormous stakes, and that next to that the Crows' issues feel less important ; it's like their impact is distorted by the gravity of the much larger story. Like for instance, Kaz in the books is very much at the center of everything, this larger than life trickster figure who knows and controls almost everything by sheer cleverness, and he has this sense of allure and mystique that can't happen here, and so his aura just shrinks. On top of that they're not on their home turf. Being introduced to these characters before they've reached their full levels of badass is weird - there is a reason why prequels generally happen after the main stuff, because they count on the love you have for these characters at their full potential to make you interested in their story when they were less badass and interesting. So I had several moments where I was like 'oh this feels wrong'. Tbh the idea that they would even volunteer to kidnap Alina in the first place, what with Inej's backstory, feels kind of wrong, esp since they had no idea of what would happen to her if they succeeded.

- But I still enjoyed a lot of it though, especially the fact that they were this force of chaos in the midst of this bigger narrative that's a lot more self-serious. The bits with the train, or the circus acts were very clever. A lot of the best moments in the show happen when they come to disturb the other plot in unexpected ways. I'm still dead over the whole 'Alina jumps into their carriage' scene, that was fucking gold. The team up at the end !!!! Alina and Kaz making a deal ! Inej stabbing the Darkling !!!! Them stealing the Darkling's carriage !!! They don't give a shit that the story is supposed to be super dramatic it's great.

- Jesper is the one character they completely nailed from start to finish and he's probably my favorite part of the whole show. He's very funny without being reduced to the role of comic relief ; he's just so! damn! cool!!!!!!! I honestly feel this is a thing they actually did even better than in the books, or at least Six of Crows where I felt Jasper kind of disappeared behind Kaz and they insist a lot on his flaws and issues. So before we dig more into those problems I love that they gave him time to be this ultra badass who saves the day several times ; while at the same time, hinting at further developments like his powers or his gambling issues. Kit Young is just perfect, confident without being arrogant, a bit cold when it comes to crime while at the same time being so obviously caring with Inej - I loved their friendship, that was so sweet. My main criticism is that they should have made it clearer he was bi because there are already people calling him gay and that's very annoying. I know some people had a problem with his hookup and like...I can see it's a bit of a cliché...the charming badass bisexual adventurer....it's a trope I kind of love though lmao and the scene itself felt kind of cute and fun. He's not the only person who is shown to have an active sexuality and he's also not the only queer person around and we know he's going to have a more substantial romantic arc later so eh. On a larger note I loved the little casual hints of completely normalized queerness - Nadia thirsting over Zoya, Fedyor and Ivan, Poppy, etc. Having grown up with fantasy where queerness was either completely erased or very tormented and problematic, this was refreshing as hell.

- Inej and Kaz...my faves... They have a kind of relationship which feels so rare and unique in terms of what exists on TV and while I don't feel they entirely replicated it, the core is still there - the mutual respect and building of trust, the longing, the repression, the trauma, etc. One thing I really like is their arc around faith - in the books, Kaz is dismissive of Inej's faith in ways that often feel really shitty and I like that he learns to be more respectful of it. It's very much linked to hope/survival ; Inej keeps this token from her parents and she hopes to find them again ; Kaz tells her it's no use and she'll survive better if she gives up. He believes Alina is a fake, while Inej wants to believe that myths can come true and there is hope for good things in the world. Kaz comes to accept that Alina is the real deal and, out of respect for Inej's faith, to stop pursuing her. I loved the bit about Inej struggling to kill as well - it's the dilemma of what her survival and that of the people she really cares about are worth in such a shitty world - her compassion is a good part of her but so is her survival instinct, and that's the part Kaz represents - that even after she's been through hell, broken in unfathomable ways, even if she gave up all hope and faith in the world, even she becomes dangerous and ruthless to survive, she will still deserve dignity, and to be treated better. And meanwhile she is willing to break her principles, which she holds so dearly, to save him, when he's never had anyone who cared for him like that - enough to keep him alive. That bit in the church !!!!! God !!!!!! Bye !!!!!!! And then him basically calling her his own version of a Saint, that he doesn't believe in miracles but he does believe in her !!! It's very emblematic of their whole arc ; he empowers her to survive in a ruthless world and loves her at her most dangerous ; but he loves her laugh too, he finds her a ship and her parents, he honors her capacity for love and hope even when he can't share it. And she sees that he's capable of doing better, that he's worth caring for. This whole thing kills me honestly and I can't wait to see where they take this next. I'm not mad they're a bit more soft and obvious than in the books, Kaz would just have come across as an an asshole otherwise.

- That said, there are bits of how they introduced their backstories I don't like. I get that making it so Inej was still tied to the Menagerie gave them a very powerful reason to want to kidnap Alina beyond greed so that they wouldn't look like very shitty people. But in the books Inej is terrified by the idea of simply seeing Heleen or the Menagerie and the way they have her interact with her feels weirdly casual and dismissive of her trauma. Also, in the books, the fact that Kaz had to convince Per Haskell to buy Inej's contract through a lot of effort, that he wasn't the one holding that above her head either, made the power dynamics more palatable. I especially disliked the scene where Kaz says he won't free other girls because just Inej is special, it makes him look like he has the power but he's just too much of a callous asshole to do it, and that he just freed Inej because he liked her which is absolutely not what their relationship is about at the start, it's a lot more about seeing Inej's dangerous side behind a facade of powerlessness and relating to her, in a sense, and this scene made it all feel cheap.

- Also, what was that about Inej having a brother ? Not a fan of that either. I'm afraid they're going to make her story all about finding what happened to him, and that's 1) too on the nose similar to Kaz's story and 2) it kind of cheapens her own arc, a female character realizing that what was done to her was wrong, reclaiming her own power and dignity and then making sure it doesn't happen to anybody else, harnessing her personal experience to save strangers, that's so powerful - making it about a family member at first, especially if it's about revenge, it's so much more simplistic and unoriginal and the perspective really annoys me.

- Also not a fan of Per Haskell not being there because he's a very important part of Kaz's evolution, so I hope he shows up eventually - and the way they introduced Pekka Rollins was kind of like...weird and out of place. I just found the Crows' introduction scenes stilted and not as cool as they should have been - well, Jesper and Inej were very cool, but we needed to see Kaz in action first, we needed to see why he's such a menace before we see him flounder later, and I just...I don't know exactly but it didn't work for me. Also this is a very petty thing but I wasn't crazy about the Ketterdam sets, I know this is probably a budget thing but in my head it looked like this incredible mix of Amsterdam and Venice - specific locations in the book directly remind me of parts of Amsterdam I know very well - and instead what we got felt like this very generic London-ish fantasy setting....so boring. Also a lot of scenes that felt to exposition-y. I don't mind that Kaz was a bit softer than in the books, like many people have said some things work in books and don't work on a screen, and you need to make the character's inner dynamics more explicit. But I do agree that, at the same time, he should have been more ruthless towards people outside of his group. Loved that scene where he faces the Inferni though, and how well they illustrated his disability and aversion to touch.

- I don't have that much to say about Nina and Matthias ; I'm still not super sold on the whole 'haha misogyny!' thing and I dislike that so much of Matthias' change of heart relies on the fact that he finds Nina hot. But I did think that the actors had enough chemistry to make their scenes together interesting and cute ; I loved the waffle scene. Even though it's disappointing that they didn't find an actress who was more clearly plus size for Nina, I still think Danielle does a good job bringing her bold, unapologetic energy. I'm really looking forward to seeing the Crows as a whole team.

So yeah, even though the season didn't feel like a perfect, coherent whole, it was just a lot of fun and I really hope they get renewed. In particular I feel like tying the first trilogy to the Crows' story could create such interesting parallels in terms of themes, about power, the cost of survival, hope, trauma, etc etc

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #grishaverse #six of crows #leigh bardugo

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katedrakeohd · 3 years

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A Very Merry Birthday (5)

[Masterlist]

Hey let's make this a wacky drabble. This week's prompt #80 Stop looking at me like that

Word count: 2000

Cast of characters: Drake, Kate, Preston Davis. (OC)

Rated PG: talk of mature themes, sexual innuendo

Tagging:

@wackydrabbles @darley1101 @sfb123 @mom2000aggie @fluffyfirewhiskey @jovialyouthmusic @sirbeepsalot @kingliam2019 @no-one-u-know @nikkis1983 @glaimtruelovealways @texaskitten30 @bbrandy2002 @marshmallowsandfire

After exiting the stairway, Drake and Kate make their way down the hall to their room. He looked at her nervously as he dug into his pocket for his room key, "Are we really going through with this threesome thing?"

When they arrive at their door, Kate steps in front of Drake. Cupping his face in her hands she pulls him in for a kiss, her voice low, "Yes, we are. I'm only going to turn 27 once and I want it to be special."

Drake smirks against her mouth and mumbles as their kisses continue, "What's so special about turning 27?"

Kate caresses the back of his neck and runs her fingers through his hair, "Nothing really, but do you know what?"

"Hmm?"

Kate runs the pad of her thumb across his bottom lip, and then licks her own. "I can still taste myself on your mouth and I like it."

Drake presses the room key into her hand and with the other hand goes into his jacket, making sure to slide his palm across her breast before retrieving his phone from the inside pocket.

"You go on into our room, and I'll give Preston a call."

Kate chuckles, "Be nice to him, and please tell him again that I'm sorry for hurting him."

"I will."

…

Preston is sitting up in bed in his underwear and a t-shirt, with a small bag of ice wrapped in a pillowcase nestled against his groin. The pain had pretty much subsided by this point, but he wanted to make sure there was no chance of swelling. This hadn't been his first blow to the nuts, but knowing how it felt didn't make any time it happened again any less painful.

Beside him on the bed is a half eaten sandwich on a plate that he had ordered from room service. It was still early in the evening and it bothered him to not have anything to do. If they were back home at Valtoria there would still be another two hours in his work shift. Back at home these were prime party hours and he'd have guests to keep tabs on with his usual crew of guards. If it was a quiet evening with no guests, he'd walk the halls and then patrol the perimeter outside and use the time to go over the next day's sentry and active guard schedule in his head and get some welcome fresh air.

Once a month there would be an evening poker game amongst the senior staffers, which occasionally the Duke would join in on if the Duchess was away, but mostly it was a fun and casual night for the staff to tell funny anecdotes at their employer's expense.

Tonight, after clicking through the limited channel options on his room's TV, he had resorted to browsing the social media on his phone. Thankfully the hotel had free wifi. Reaching over he grabs the last part of his sandwich and takes a bite, and then another to finish it. Now that his hand was free he shifted the ice pack to the side and gingerly fondled himself through his underwear. The ice had left him temporarily numb, but there didn't seem to be any unusual swelling so he transferred the ice pack over onto his dinner plate. Laying his phone on his chest he planted his hands on the bed and carefully scooted his ass down the bed so he could lie down on his back. With a sigh he folded his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.

After a few minutes of studying the crown moulding and lamenting the Ravenhurst's poor choice of wallpaper, he closes his eyes out of boredom. Out in the hallway he can hear the muffled voices of people approaching his room, expecting them to fade as they pass by. But this time they don't. Listening intently he recognizes the low tones of Drake's voice, and the faint inflection of Kate's laughter. So Mr. and Mrs. Smith, or Jones or whatever are back from their dinner date. Hope they had fun.

There's the click of a door opening and closing and then the muffled footfalls of someone walking away, punctuated by the creek of the wooden floorboards under the carpet. Preston turns his head to look toward the door, curious. Pulling his hand out from behind his head he reaches for his phone before it can slide off his chest.

…

Drake shoved one hand in his pocket as he paced back and forth in the hallway, looking down at his phone. Of course it had to be the pocket with Kate's panties in it. He bunches them in his fist and sighs in frustration as he picks Preston's name out of his contact folder. How in the hell do I call someone and invite them to be the third person in a sexual situation? Especially when I really don't want him there in the first place? I could lie to her and say that I asked Preston and he declined. Yeah right, Kate's like a human lie detector and would know I'm not telling the truth.

He presses the message icon on his screen and then stops to lean against the wall. As awkward a conversation this was about to be, it would be better conducted quietly.

The Duke:: Hi Preston, how are you feeling?

There's a brief pause and then Preston responds,

Preston:: I'm doing ok. How can I help you Sir?

The Duke:: I have an unusual request. You're free to decline if you don't feel up to the task.

Preston:: Ok. That's not suspicious at all. 🤔

The Duke:: First some questions. And again you can choose not to answer if you feel they're too personal.

Preston:: Should I be worried? This isn't some dangerous mission is it?

The Duke:: That all depends on how you behave.

Drake grins to himself and rubs his jaw as he waits for Preston to respond. The seconds tick by and then Preston answers.

Preston:: Are you out in the hall?

The Duke:: yes

A few seconds go by and he hears a door open and he looks up to see Preston pop his head out into the hall.

"Pssst. Over here," he whispers.

Drake pushes away from the wall and tucks his phone into his back pocket. He looks quickly up and down the hall before walking over to Preston's room. He takes in his underdressed state and then grins at him, "You're going to think I'm crazy."

Preston steps back to let Drake step into the room. "Now I'm really curious."

Drake stands in the middle of the room feeling awkward, knowing he still had to ask the questions he had on his mind. Preston gestures toward the chair for Drake to have a seat, but he shakes his head.

"I'd rather stand." I'm too nervous to sit down. "But you might want to sit."

Preston shrugs and then sits down on the end of the bed. "What's on your mind, Sir?"

Drake doesn't know where to start. Just get the personal questions out of the way, you idiot, before you chicken out.

Taking a deep breath in Drake forces himself to push aside his nerves and decides to sit down after all. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and then leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "Ok, then. Question one. Are you currently in a relationship?"

Preston's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "Uh, no. But why -...?"

Drake holds his hand up to interrupt him, "Just bear with me and then I'll get to the point."

Preston tilts his head, frowning, but crosses his arms and then waits.

Drake scratches the back of his head, trying to find the words to ask the questions on his mind before he gets to the invitation from Kate.

"Are..are you straight? Gay? Something else?" Drake stammers, feeling anxious.

Preston can't help but laugh, "Are you asking me out on a date Your Grace?"

"I...just answer the question."

Preston shrugs, noting the nervous bounce of Drake's knee and the way he kept averting his eyes. He also couldn't help but notice that his shirt was half unbuttoned already and his hair was slightly messy. "I'm straight...I guess."

Drake looks up, "You guess? Either you are or you aren't. Stop looking at me like that."

"Well when you get right down to it, these days when you're lonely enough and looking for that kind of pleasure a hole is a hole. If you understand what I mean? Between two consenting adults of course."

Drake wasn't expecting that kind of answer from Preston, and he's suddenly reminded of his own 27th Birthday. But he had one last question before he mentioned the threesome idea. Taking a deep breath he thought about Kate, and how she was expecting Preston to come back with him.

"Well, if you're thinking straight, I want your honest opinion about something."

Preston wasn't sure where this was going, but this had to be the strangest conversation he'd ever had with any boss he's ever had. Was it even ethical to have this kind of conversation?

"Ok, sure. What do you want to know?"

"How do you feel about my wife?"

Preston wasn't sure how to answer that sort of question without getting a punch to the face. She'd already slapped him and mashed his nuts with her knee, but being the one to escort her to the restaurant had been exciting to say the least. He wasn't sure if he'd interpreted her suggestion correctly, that he should get handsy with her in order to get Drake's attention, or not. Or perhaps he had gone too far. He was certainly confused as to why Drake would show up in his room and start asking personal questions. He decided to keep his answer as ambiguous as possible.

"She's a beautiful woman, and a man would have to be blind not to desire her."

Drake nods, appreciating his answer, "Go on, I think there's more you want to say."

Preston's eyes narrow and he feels uncomfortable with Drake's tone of voice, "If you're trying to lead me on into admitting something as some sort of trap, I'm not falling for it. I was following her orders…"

Again Drake interrupts, "Yes, I get that. What I really want to know is if you enjoyed touching my wife like that?"

Preston carefully considers his answer. Yes, he had liked being able to touch her. But acting like a total ass had earned him a slap and a knee to the groin, and he knew that wasn't acceptable behavior. Kate didn't deserve to be grabbed like that. She had looked like candy wrapped in a red satin bow, and damn she had smelled like it too. He'd love to be lucky enough to have a woman like that. She would be like a gift, one he could unwrap everyday and never get tired of finding the same thing waiting for him on the inside.

"No, I didn't. K...Mrs. Walker shouldn't be touched that way without permission. It was wrong."

Drake's phone chimes and he checks it. He has a text message from Kate.

Kate:: have you asked him yet?

Drake:: getting there, be patient.

Drake looks up from his phone. "Smart answer. Now how would you like the chance to make it right?"

His phone chimes again.

Preston chuckles, "What do you mean?"

Kate:: this kitty Kat is getting awfully lonely over here, and with an itch that needs to be scratched. It would be a shame if I had to handle it on my own. 😽😈

"Kate...Mrs. Walker, wants me to invite you over to our room. For some fun."

"What sort of fun?"

Drake's phone chimes again.

Kate:: tick tock, Walker. Are you two coming over to play?

"The naked kind."

Preston laughs, "You're right. I do think you're crazy."

Drake stands up. "Well are you in, or not?"

Preston shrugs, "What the Hell, I'm in."

#drake walker #choices #long post #drake x kate #theroyalromance #Henry Cavill is Preston Davis

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holylulusworld · 4 years

Text

Catch & Release - Memories

Summary: When your fiancé dies days before your wedding you find yourself confronted with his lies. When his best friend attends his burial things become even more complicated as you slowly fall for the green-eyed man.

Pairing: AU Dean x Reader; Sam x Reader (past), Sam x Jess (brief)

Characters: Benny Lafitte, Jimmy Novak, Mary Campbell, Jessica More

Warnings: angst, main characters death, grief, sadness, arguments, language, flashbacks, comforting, tension, longing, mutual pining, mentions of cheating/infidelity

A/N: Loosely inspired by the movie Catch & Release. Sam and Dean are not brothers for my storyline. Flashbacks in Italics.

Catch & Release Masterlist

“Sam, hey…do you mind if I steal this shirt…” Giggling you tug at your fiancè’s shirt, a smug grin on your lips. “I mean, I have to get you naked first…”

“Naughty girl…” Sam breathes between kisses. “I love you; you know that – right?” His question catches you off-guard, but you nod to get another kiss. “I…I made mistakes in the past but from now on, I want to do things right.”

“Baby, we all make mistakes. I still make some and I am far from my twenties. Whatever you did in the past, it’s in the past, Sam. I love you, no matter what.” He nods silently, a soft smile on his lips.

“Love you…so much Y/N. Whatever happens…I’ll always love you…” His lips press against yours and you’ve got the feeling, Sam desperately tries to show you his love. “Love you…”

“I love you too, Sam…”

You scream, flinch and push against a solid chest. Tears run down your face when you wake only to meet foreign eyes. “Sweetheart? What’s wrong? Bad dream?”

“I…I…” Whimpering you hide your face in the palms of your hands. “I dreamed Sam was with me. It was like three or was it four days before he left. We…we kissed, and he told me that he loves me, Dean. I should’ve known better than believing his lies.”

“Y/N, maybe he wanted to end things with Jess?” Dean tries but you huff at his words. “I know the pictures looked like he was happy but, maybe it was his way to say goodbye.”

“Dean, they were smiling into the camera a week before our wedding. Even if Sam wanted to end things with that woman, he still drove to her, still had sex with her, and left me here, sad after another terrible fight.”

Your voice cracks when you look at Dean. “Whatever reason he had to cheat, it must be me. Maybe I was not pretty enough. She looks like a model…”

“Y/N don’t do this to yourself. I will not let you take the blame.” While you glance at the watch you sigh deeply. It’s 2 am and you are wide awake.

On top of all the man, you barely know slept right next to you and you can’t stop the butterflies he causes to flutter in your stomach.

“I know that I shouldn’t but…” A sad smile plays on your lips and you lie back down on your pillow. “If Sam would’ve been happy and satisfied with me by his side, he wouldn’t have looked at another girl or rather fucked her.”

“Sam was a complicated man, to say the least, Y/N. I don’t know about Jess, but if he was willing to marry you, Sam must’ve loved you.” Facing Dean, you pat his chest.

“No, Dean. If you love someone, you don’t drive to another woman twice per month to fuck her. You spend your free time with the girl you want to marry, not with a woman leaving you years ago.”

You take a deep breath, close your eyes to calm your racing heart. “Did you ever cheat on a girl? I won’t judge you, Dean. I just want to know why men cheat on a woman.”

“Honestly, Y/N…” Sighing Dean runs his left hand down his face, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“I am not good at relationships. The longest I head were with Cassie, around three years, and Lisa, the one leaving me, around five, if you count the time, I was oversea. But…”

Your eyes snap open when Dean gently tugs a strand behind your ear. “I swear, I never cheated. I had my share of girls; I mean you heard what I did in the bathroom. Guess I never found the right girl to settle down.”

“Even if you find the right guy, he sneaks around, fucks someone else, lies, and dies in the end. I slowly realize love isn’t worth the trouble.”

Your eyes fill with tears when you look at the ring at your finger. “Sam, even if he loved me, wasn’t the right one either.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know this must be awful, heartbreaking, and strange to talk to a foreign guy about your dead fiancé.”

Dean huffs when you nod silently. “If you want me to, I can go and sleep on the couch Benny offered to me.”

“No…” Grasping for Dean’s arm you drag him back onto the bed when he tries to leave.

“Please don’t go. Benny and Jimmy, they are nice. Especially Benny is a sweetheart but, they were Sam’s friends, not mine. I don’t know if they didn’t lie to me…maybe they knew…”

“Benny didn’t know. I swear, he would rather lose his left ball than lying to you, Y/N. He’s one of the most honest people I ever met.” Nodding you move closer to Dean to search his face. “Maybe you should talk to his mother?”

“Mary Campbell hates me, Dean. Anything I do is wrong to her. Last time I tried to help her with dinner and she accused me of putting too much salt into the mashed potatoes on purpose.

I don’t know why – but Mary never liked me, no matter what I tried to make her see I love her son.” Sleepily you close your eyes, recalling Dean’s words. “Maybe…you…”

“Sleep a bit, sweetheart. I’ll be here in the morning, promised.” You don’t feel Dean’s lips press against your forehead, but you sigh dreamily when he drapes one arm over your body. “Sam was a fool…”

“Baby doll?” Giggling you rush toward the bathroom, winking at Sam before he gets the chance to grab you. “I’ll get you and you won’t…” His phone starts ringing, and the moment is gone – again.

“Hello, no…no…listen.” Shushing the words Sam turns his back toward you stand in the door frame of the bathroom. “I can’t…I told you that California is off-limits from now on. I…I got a fiancé and…I know…I know but…”

You don’t want to eavesdrop the phone call but Sam’s reaction to whoever just called him lets your stomach tighten.

For a moment, you listen but then you step into the bathroom, closing the door to press your forehead against the cool wood.

“Jess…listen. It’s over. No…no…no matter what you say, I can’t do this to her again. I told you last time was the last time. I love Y/N and I am going to be honest and tell her everything.”

You don’t hear Sam’s words while you stand under the shower, hating you missed another chance to have a nice morning.

“What do you mean with responsibility…oh—fuck…” The phone call ends, and Sam falls onto the bed, cradling his head. “How can she be pregnant…?”

“Mary, I came here to ask you a few questions about Sam.” Mary is not happy to see you. Her eyes are cold as always when she sees you, especially when her eyes land on the ring you are still wearing.

“Great timing, I was just about to leave.” She spats and you need all your strength to force a smile on your lips. “Make it quick or leave it.”

“I came here to ask you if…” You want to shelter her, want to be considerate but then you remember – Sam is dead. There is no need to play nice with Mary any longer.

“Did you know Sam was cheating on me? Did you know all his trips to California weren’t for his job? Did you know about the million dollars on his account?”

“I knew about the money and if my son cheated on you, it was your fault. No satisfied and happy man cheats on his fiancé. I always knew Sam…” You don’t need to hear more, or rather you don’t want to so you jump up, startling Mary.

“You know what, Mary. I always tried, for Sam’s sake of course, to be nice. I swallowed every insult, every criticism coming out of your mouth. But and that’s a tragedy, Sam is dead.

The man I loved with all my heart, the one I would’ve died for is gone. There is no reason to play nice any longer.”

Sliding the ring down your finger you toss it into Mary’s face. “I know you didn’t like it when Sam asked for your grandmother's ring. Take it back and shove it up your stiff ass.

I hated you from the first moment I met you and you had nothing better to do than criticize my dress which, by the way, Sam chose that night.

I hate that you never gave me a chance to prove to you that Sam is the man I love. I loved him, even though, I did not know about the money he owned. I loved him unconditionally but he, Sam, cheated on me, for years with a girl leaving him.”

Mary doesn’t get the chance to say something as you storm out of the house, without looking back. You are free to go, free to hate Mary Campbell.

“Sweetheart?”

Dean watches you storm out of the house. He offered to drive your car as you were too nervous. “Y/N? What happened?”

“Mary Campbell was a bitch, as usual. She blamed me for Sam’s betrayal. What did I expect?” Huffing you watch Mary follow you toward your car.

“She’s a bitter woman, never smiled when I was around. No matter what I did, it was just not enough, just like with Sam.”

Tears run down your cheeks when Dean opens the door to the passenger seat for you. “Maybe she was right and Sam was too good for me…”

Dean’s eyes meet Mary’s and he can see guilt coloring her features. “Long time no see, Mrs. Campbell. I guess you will ask me to leave your ground again? I was never good enough for Sammy either, got it.”

“Well..uh-you see…” You can hear Jimmy stammer when you and Dean enter the house. “Sam, he’s kinda…”

“I don’t know how to tell you but, Sam died on his way back home. Car accident. Someone rammed his car, it got totaled.” Benny clears his throat when you enter the living room. “Y/N…”

“Jimmy, Benny.” Nodding at your friends you wonder whom they were talking to. “Do we have a guest?” When a woman gets up from the couch to face you, your breath hitches in your throat.

“Hi, uh-Y/N. My name is Jess and I was looking for Sam Campbell.” Jess searches your face, but then her eyes drop to the white stripe at your finger. “I am sorry for coming here during such a dark time but…”

“I get it. My fiancé came to California, fucked the life out of you, and oh…” Pointing toward her swollen belly you huff. “Congratulations, he knocked you up. Can this day get any better?”

You storm toward your room, or rather Sam’s former room, ignoring Jimmy calls your name. “Let me handle this. Great job letting her in…”

Dean runs after you, almost tripping over his feet to enter the room before you can slam the door shut. “Sweetheart…let me in…”

“I…I can’t believe he knocked her up, Dean. Kids were out of the question for at least three or four more years according to Sam.”

Sobs wreck your body and you throw yourself into Dean’s arms.

“Every day I learn more about Sam, a man I believed I know inside and outside. Now I know – I never knew the real Sam…”

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Catch & Release

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A/N: If your name is crossed out Tumblr won’t let me tag you.

#Catch & Release - Memories #AU Dean x Reader #angst #pining #grief #former Sam x Reader #dean winchester #spn au fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester x you #Catch & Release Masterlist #dean winchester series #dean winchester SPN #dean x reader #dean x you

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