#I am putting myself among those people who at some point had to say ‘oh well I guess I was wrong’ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brineffxiv · 1 year

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We gather in Limsa Lominsa, awaiting the boat that will take us to Sharlayan, where we will reunite with Krile and set about attempting to solve the many problems that face us.

Hoary Boulder and Coultenet stop by to see us off and to make sure we've got everyone's well wishes and assurances that they'll take care of things while we're gone. And so, with mixed feelings of excitement and trepidation, we set off!

Be still my heart! Is that the voice of Emet-Selch!?

It is him, isn't it?? Oh, I have missed you terribly. Are you narrating this expansion? How? You're dead. Oh, I might cry.

Oh no, now I'm definitely going to cry. Why is the sad music playing!?

Goodness, Tataru couldn't spring for a cabin? Even a bunk? We've just got to sleep here on the floor? Maybe I will go for that walk.

Uh...

Oh, my God.

Hydaelyn. I... have some questions. I feel. Somewhat betrayed. More so on behalf of my friends, than myself. For while it is true you have never - that I know of - done wrong by me, I have complaint over how you have treated my fellow warriors of light and your oracles.

A hard choice, to be sure, but I wanted to know more than I wanted to rage.

And now I wish I had chosen the other answer. No, it is not clear to me why now. Why not before, any of the times before? Why not tell us yourself? Why did you not reveal the truth about yourself and the "servants of darkness" ? Why did we have to find out from Emet-Selch what was really going on here? Don't you think that was a little bit important? If you wanted me to trust in you, why have you never been forthcoming with me?

No thanks to you.

And that's another thing. I realize, as a primal, you are bound by the desires of those who brought you forth, from that moment in time. But. What would be so bad about the restoration of the old world? The way we are supposed to be? Why fight so hard to preserve the broken remnants of an accident?

Now, certainly, in the present, we are peoples worthy of living on. But why initially? In the immediate aftermath of the sundering, before we had rebuilt, why not help put the world back together? Was your drive to subdue Zodiark so strong that you could not consider anything that would bring him power?

It seems to me, that as the fight went on, the Ascians became increasingly more in the wrong. But at the start. From where I stand. You were the villain.

Why do you value me so highly. That you would expend the effort to say these words to me when you left Ardbert to languish in perpetual solitary confinement for over a century? When you allowed a succession of Minfilias to fight and die without a word? When your neglect forced the champions of the First to turn to the Ascians for help to save their world? They gave their lives and you wouldn't even speak to them!

I am so mad. I am so very angry with you. I do not understand, and I am furious that you would expend the effort to speak with me just to tell me we're in danger. No duh. We've got a rogue Ascian determined to reenact the Final Days. A problem we wouldn't have if I hadn't gone and killed off the people who were keeping him in line.

If that's supposed to make sense to me I have to tell you it doesn't. How in the world am I supposed to find out what you promised in another age.

I can tell you care about me. You maybe even love me, as a mother should love a child. And I think there is a part of me that reciprocates. That Rhesh'a loves you too. But we cannot see past the injustice of it all. A mother should not pick favorites among her children.

Ahh and now we arrive at Sharlayan. Endwalker is shaping up to be a doozy; I'm already emotionally exhausted.

I am. Unprepared.

Eeee! New city! And Emet-Selch is introducing it to me! Happy happy day!

What happens if we get refused entry? Do we have to get back on the boat?

Right, got it. No talking about the Scions. My lips are zipped.

Ah, yes, I should get around to playing Eureka at some point...

Haha omg. That was... SO long ago. Even longer for G'raha. He went away and lived an entire life and more in the meantime.

I've always wondered what was behind the placements of Archon marks? Clearly the neck is standard, but Urianger chose to put his on his face for some reason? And the pictures I've seen of Louisoix show him with his on his forehead. Hmm... Things to think about.

Trust Fourchenault to have made things difficult. At least Alisaie and Alphinaud aren't precluded from entering. Thankfully it seems that being disowned didn't revoke their citizenship.

I am an Artisan, thank you very much. I didn't level all my DoH/DoL skills to 90 by Stormblood for nothing now.

AHAHAHA! Poor Estinien. He can't think of a job.

Thankfully, Krile arrives to the rescue. Estinien is officially a mercenary. And we are now free to explore Sharlayan, myself with G'raha and Krile in tow!

And here is where I must stop the post, as I have hit my max image allotment, lol. Welcome to Endwalker.

#ffxiv liveblog #rhesh'a tag #krile baldesion #hydaelyn #emet-selch #thancred waters #y'shtola rhul #estinien varlineau #g'raha tia #tataru taru #baseless speculation #thoughts on lore #i finally get to pick that bone with hydaelyn #it does not go well #endwalker

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whoslaurapalmer · 24 days

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and to complete the trio ! 🤍 beatrice 🎭✨🦇for 2, 5, 22, & 25 !!

!!!!!!!!!!!

2) favorite canon thing about this character?

tie between 'made dinner on the floor once' and 'wrote a novel-length letter to break up with a guy' and 'put on heels while eating an apple and making eyes at her boyfriend bc how is that not the coolest sexiest thing bea has ever done????????' and 'thought fishing was super boring but took her son fishing bc she loves him'

5) what's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

i very much wish i could say the heroine by unwoman bc it really is such a good bea song, like objectively i know this, but bc i first heard it on night vale and in one of the best episodes, one of my favorite episodes, i will forever associate it with kevin. i just do think very frequently about how it reminds me of kevin but it could be such a good bea song if it was not for kevin. ANYWAY. curses by the crane wives

22) if you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? what's something you don't like?

oh! this one is the opposite! if i am reading bea! okay okay. ah..........i'm picky about people writing beatrice. i know it's because like.......we've had to build a lot of fanon in this fandom. bc there is so little we see of some characters. and bea is not actually one of them, we really get a lot of bea in memories, but we still don't get to see Beatrice. so we've still had to infer a lot and create a lot. and i know that i am responsible for some of it. and it becomes something very personal, writing these characters, bea especially. i'm, very picky about fanfic i read anyway bc characterization is the most important thing to me. i want to see a bea that is layered, that is joyful and sly and dramatic, but interpretations differ among us all about the, amount to which that is an act, the sort of act that she puts on at all, because she is an actress and we can't forget that, of the extent to which she might've...............been manipulative. that personally is where i draw a line bc i don't think she was. categorically manipulative? it's not the word that i think works the best for me when i think of bea, idk. i'm also plotting a fic where she Acts in a very specific way for a very specific purpose through the whole thing so i also have less of a leg to stand on here than i usually do. but i think there's no like, malicious intent in her manipulation. i think sometimes there could be a lack of.........a desperation in a young beatrice in fic. the nuance of vfd on her. or like.........showing the acting but not showing the cracks it's created, the cracks vfd has created. i am. looking forward to poking those cracks more, myself

25) what was your first impression of this character? how about now?

first impression: i was nine and reading the books as they came out and going 'oh this beatrice woman sounds FASCINATING i wonder if i will ever find out who she is. i wonder what happened with her and lemony.'

current impression, editing to point out that it is now twenty whole fucking years later: my babygirl my everything my angelface my beloved

#lulu talks about the sad lemon man

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ask-richard-jackdaw · 10 months

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I never understood all the fuss surrounding the choice of a House by some magical talking hat, so let me tell you this: I'm keeping my House a secret ;) It is more fun that way, I enjoy people interpreting my words, actions, hobbies, and aspirations! I think I could've been sorted anywhere, really. I've met plenty of people that didn't seem to fit in with the typical traits.

There's been a long discussion concerning this topic among some students, maybe you know Elizabeth and her friends? Such observant young ladies! Sometimes it feels like they know me better than I know myself! But let me take you through some of my thoughts. Once again, not naming my House ;)

Ravenclaw: my smarts! Need to solve a puzzle? I'm your man ghost! I'm also rather curious. As you know, I've travelled the world, have decades worth of learning behind my shoulders. Some argue that I am not that smart (which is, first of all, ouch?) but do I really have to have perfect grades for that? So what if I don't know the difference between French, Latin, and Greek? I am sharp at what I find interesting and what I might need in the future. And what about emotional intelligence? Plus, I think wearing blue would rather suit me! If all Ravenclaws were academically inclined — Ravenclaws would've won every since House Cup ever!

Some people might want to put me in Slytherin for, er... Well, stealing a wand during my apprenticeship at Olivander's. To which I have to say: I doubt things like that have anything to do with a specific House, Slytherins are not bad people! I had my reasons and I am not proud of stealing anything. I should probably visit the current Mr. Olivander and explain myself... Most of the Slytherin traits do not fit me. Self-preservation especially, Merlin's beard, if only I hadn't gone to that cave alone!

Gryffindor sounds like a good fit! I was described more than chivalrous on multiple occasions. And once again, bravely going into the cave alone, and then having the nerve to deal with the spiders, determined to get to the end... Although a lot of that was done because Anne never showed up. I was rather upset and now that I think about it, initially I didn't even want to go there alone at all... I am so glad I managed to track down that Auror that somebody mentioned a while ago, hoping to get Anne out of Azkaban. We are just waiting for the Ministry's reply at this point. But I digress.

And then Hufflepuff... I suppose that with trying to get Anne out we can speak of fairness and justice? But patience? Oh no. I might work hard on the things that I like but not everything else! Modesty and Loyalty? Oh, well... Those do not sound reassuring either...

My point is: there is no need to try and sort me into any of the House. I will be in whatever House you guys want me to be~ Speaking of which... If there is anybody who is willing to let me borrow their extra robes for when Thursdays come around when I am corporal — please, let me know! I do not want to alert the staff to my... visits, and since I still look like a 7th year, I think I can pass!

*Richard writes this letter specifically without naming anybody just yet. He passes the letter to his Scribe, and as per their agreement earlier, the Scribe casts Geminio on the paper, successfully duplicating it. Satisfied, Richard proceeds to do separate introductions for both Indi and Anon on two different parchments, finishing with:*

With much appreciation for your question,

Richard Jackdaw

#Richard Jackdaw #Hogwarts Legacy rp #Hogwarts Legacy #asks #Indi #I might be sneaking into the castle with Marge periodically #Being a ghost for decades I feel like I might have difficulty navigating the castle again #Since I cannot go through walls #[I want him in Ravenclaw because we don't have enough of those but Gryffindor also really suits him]

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azantiss · 4 months

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thinking about a thing my transnational film professor freshman year of college said:

in this class we met once a week and before class we watched each film independently and wrote a short essay about it. so we had a film one week and at the beginning of the class, per usual, we went around and she asked people their thoughts. this was a freshman level course so most people there are in it for easy credit, save the 4 film buff people. those people in particular kept going on about how good the movie was and saying film bro stuff i dont even remember.

so after everyone who wants to shares their opinions, she pauses and goes "i hate this movie" and proceeds to explain how it had some really harmful representation, among other issues.

all of my school experience to that point had been focused on being correct and especially in english courses, where we would read a book and if we interpreted it differently than the teacher, we got a bad grade or were humiliated by the teachers.

she said this and it broke that idea in my head. it relieved all of that perpetual anxiety about being correct.

she then went on to say (paraphrasing, this was years ago) 'when someone puts a piece of media into the world for consumption and you consume it, you will interpret it based on your experiences and world view etc. there is not a right or wrong interpretation of art/media. if you interpret it one way, that is an interpretation that is correct, even if it is different than the intent from the creator.'

basically this made me feel like i have the freedom to think for myself. i had assumed we were supposed to like everything we were shown because in school before this semester, everything was presented to be taken as pure fact and accurate information and not something to be criticized. which is really stupid looking back that english classes make you analyze things but if you critique them, unless it's like a practice editing an essay or something, you get berated. at least in my grade school experience.

we're allowed to think for ourselves and you don't have to feel guilty about it. she unlocked that in me and i am so grateful for that. every time i watch a movie now instead of assuming everything is always good, especially if other people think so, i am able to think hm do i like this? is this portrayal good? etc etc.

now i feel like i have the freedom to critique articles in other courses and to speak up and say this is cool for XYZ reason but ABC reason is concerning. and teachers APPRECIATE that!! it's really cool. especially when i take courses for my minor that are less hard stem focused.

at the beginning of that course, she told us we would never watch tv the same after that course and i, like i assume most people do when professors say that, basically shrugged it off not thinking much of it. but oh boy she was more right than i think she knows and i am eternally grateful for that course for this reason among others. i think about this at least three times a week.

i love college :)

#film #movies #college #thinking for yourself #anxiety #idk how to do tags #free thinking #critical thinking #i love my film class #shout out this professor who i cannot name because tumblr is anonymous #yippee

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for-thosewhocare · 6 months

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Elemental Review

OH. MY. GOD.

I have no clue why it took me so long to watch this movie. I VERY aware that I am so late to this movie and I’m kicking myself as to why.

I had THOUGHT I had grown out of Disney and traditional children movies but apparently they are not ready for me to do so because this movie was a banger. I cannot speak for the rest of the movies that Disney, Pixar, or any other children’s animation movie company has put out this year. I didn’t watch those; Especially the new “Wish” movie that everyone is cracking down so hard on.

However, I did watch elemental.

I don’t know what it is about the Disney movies recently, but Elemental, much like Encanto, was AMAZING. I even watched the movie twice in one day because I needed to share it with my girlfriend. (To which they hated it because it made them cry)

There is something about the plot and the messaging with in the movie meshing together so well that just had me in a chokehold. For those who haven’t had the pleasure of watching this movie, in simple terms, the movie is about the love story between a fire girl and a water boy. T That’s pretty basic Disney stuff. It’s just a love story. But where this movie really changes corse is under the surface of said love story. Elemental explores immigrant problems and racial discrimination in big cities, among other things. That alone is pretty astonishing, especially for a Disney film, which are traditionally just love stories. The movie also goes deeper into the interpersonal relationships in interracial relationships and how outside influences, such as societal differences and parental pressures can affect relationships. As someone who is in an interracial relationship myself, I absolutely gushed at this portrayal.

The movie starts off with Immigration story. I won’t go too far into it for those who haven’t seen it, but it was an amazing starting point of the movie. Even though the audience have no idea what’s going on because we don’t know the premise of this world and the rules of it yet, educated viewers, who are not the children that this is necessarily geared towards, will understand the hints that we are given. We further go onto the conflict of the story, which is centered around the main character, Ember, and her father’s shop. That’s where she meets city inspector, otherwise known as the Water-boy, Wade. From when they first met, you can see that Wade is definitely the one who fell first and oh my God, I love a good movie where the love interest falls in love first, no matter what gender.

The movie progresses and the movie it makes it clear that Ember’s parents do not like the idea of water people being around. Mostly Ember’s. In fact, Ember‘s father, Bernie, hates water people because of the racial discrimination that he has endured in the past due to water and fire not mixing. They quite literally combat each other. His main and most memorable quote is “They keep trying to water us down”. Also, Ember does make it clear that Element City is not made with fire people in mind. She says “There will have to be a miracle to get me over that bridge.” The movie even showing the trains that push water off the sides that is very harmful to fire people. In the scenes featuring the city, there is water everywhere and while every other element is able to thrive in a water filled environment, it is clearly not sustainable for fire. This is a continuous discrimination towards fire people. Some people would argue that it’s not necessarily discrimination rather negligence and lack of better ways to fully support fire peoples needs. However, I don’t think that is plausible being seen that there are racial slurs in this movie geared towards the fire people.

Let’s not forget the iconic dinner scene, in which Ember meets Wade‘s family. Which in the scene his family were overall very welcoming towards Ember. However, they ultimately did not know how to react to her. At one point, Wade’s nephew almost pushes her into a pool of water asking her if she would die if she fell in. I’m aware that he is a kid but I was dumbfounded. Not helping their case, Wade’s uncle had told her that she speaks English surprisingly clear to which she replied, “It’s amazing what speaking the same language your entire life does”.

The dinner scene is also the scene where Wade first hints that he is in love with Ember. This is where she realizes that because they could never touch she doesn’t see the relationship working and it causes such a great sadness in her heart that she cries for the first time. This scene simultaneously tugged on a heartstring of mine, while reminding me that this is in fact a love story and not a political exposé on how people treat immigrants in America.

Throughout the movie, Bernie was consistently corrected on his English also. This annoys me throughout the movie. The words everyone corrected him on were words that you could tell what he meant. There was just no need to correct him and they did so just because he was wrong. Bernie really messed up his words when he was frustrated or flustered or feeling a great amount of emotion so it was warranted that he would mess up up on a language he had to learn so late in life.

I felt such a strong connection with Ember and Bernie, having such a strong connect to my father. They had such a good relationship. Sure they had their stuff but who doesn’t but they worked through it. I loved the healthy relationships throughout the movie but Burnie and Ember are my favorite.

The end of the movie also resonated a little hard with me too. As a person who has been called sensitive my entire life, Wade being such an emotional person showed me two things. It tells me that Disney is showing people that it was OK to be a little emotional, no matter if that means you have an uncontrollable temper or that means that you sob at every little sadness in life. As a person who can’t seem to get their emotions in check, that was such a good message to hear at the point that I am in life. The second thing that it showed me was Disney is trying to combat the idea that they have been pushing for literally a century about toxic masculinity. Never in my 17 years of life I have seen a Disney character (that was a male) cry so much. And on top of his crying, his family also cries the same amount as him showing them that they are emotionally mature people who can understand that being sensitive and having a lot of emotions isn’t necessarily a bad thing, even though they are seen to be a little dense.

Honestly, if I could, I would go on a literal 30 page tangent about how much I love this movie, and how much I wish that Disney would continue these types of movies for the next century to come, but I’m gonna spare you.

I don’t know if you haven’t got the message from this entire opinion piece but in my opinion, I think you should go watch this movie. Watch it with a loved one (or loved ones) and really soak in the messaging of the movie. Maybe you’ll hate it. Maybe you’ll find that some things were missing but I do think that it’s a movie worth watching. No matter if you find it horrible and it didn’t fully live up to the Disney potential that it could have, was it not still a good laugh?

#elemental #disney #Disney reviews #inner child #childhood #children #disney movies #for those who care #for those who need it #teen mind #new york

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xaren-jo · 8 months

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had a falling out with a friend yesterday over her continuous shitting on cis people (among other things). supposedly they are the enemy and are oppressing us simply by existing. yes, even those who are just living their lives and minding their own business - cuz if you're not directly helping an oppressed group, you're participating in their oppression indirectly somehow (???). it's cishets and cishets only who came up with all things queerphobic in the first place; if one of our own perpetuates that crap, it's still the cishets' fault, the poor dear is just traumatized and lashing out. as for cis allies who do put their lives on the line for us - their efforts don't mean shit, because they're an outlier, and cis people "as a class" are still the oppressor anyway, so her hatred is justified.

and when i point out to her that appointing a broad, diverse group of people as the enemy helps no one, least of all herself, that's just me being purposefully obtuse and/or a traitor to my own people. and if i keep disagreeing with her, it's only to piss her off and to attack her.

and she's a radfem, so i knew what i was getting into from the start, but this is still just so frustrating. she's such a bright, passionate young woman. how can she be such an ass.

we had both legally transitioned at nearly the same time, pretty much in parallel but in different directions, and we supported each other as we navigated that whole ordeal. it hurts because i understand why she's so angry and why she's so scared, but she just. won't. listen. living with this hatred is hurting her, but she clings to it like a it's a damn lifeline. because being a hateful little gremlin and an anxious mess is the only appropriate/possible response to the current situation, i suppose. silly old me, what do i know.

i got it into my head that i have to help her because she's younger than me, and she's trying to do good for the community, and she's broke and hurt and has suicidal tendencies, but fff. i just can't do this anymore. i feel like crap almost every time we talk. the hatred and the fear just keep spilling out of her to land onto my head. it's like i'm a dumping ground or a fuckin outhouse or something. "oh, men are at the root of all evil, they just suck fundamentally because they're men - not trans men tho, and def not you, you're cool :)", "am i passing??? fuck, i have so much internalized transphobia. how's my woman voice??? i feel like i'm never gonna be a "real" woman, i need this and this surgery", "all sex work is rape, are you in support of rape???", "it's been five whole minutes, why aren't you answering me, i feel like we barely talk anymore :(", "i'm anxious, i'm terrified, i can't get out of the house. i'm taking a break from arguing with terrible people on the internet, it's been taking a toll on me - oh wait, nevermind, i'm back to arguing with terrible people on the internet, because SOMEONE HAS TO", she keeps telling me, day after day and week after week, nothing seems to change, "i want to kill myself right now - what do i want you to do with this information? i don't know, i guess i just want some support", "i remember you told me you feel like you're being used for your money and it makes you feel like crap, i feel so bad about this, but could you lend me some money???", and after i had just told her that i was kinda struggling financially at the moment - "oh, you're so boujee, you should give me money, hehehe :P", "i know this comes off as manipulative and i feel so bad about this, but i'm gonna do/say it anyway, please forgive me", and she begins to cry. "i got it into my head that you will save me - can you please save me?" - springing that shit on me in a public place, during a smoke break at a support group we both regularly attend, girl, wtf. how am i even supposed to respond to that. "let's drop the g and the l, this is a gay exclusionary support group - hehehe, jk, i just mean the cis gays of course :P i'm just mirroring the shit that gays say about us, it's fine", and now she's a moderator of said support group. just great.

AND forwarding me a bunch of articles and videos of trans people getting bashed (including one such video of herself), with no warning, because she's been gathering evidence to make her case for immigration, and she thought she should get it all in one place, that one place being my dms - i got so upset i was close to tears, i walked around in a daze for a week. AND THEN a week or so later forwarding me a bunch of transphobic death threats she's been getting, with, again, zero warning??? not the kind of light recreational reading i've been looking for, fuck you very much.

and again, this is frustrating because she's not a bad person, but damn. she's toxic. it feels like i'm a shitty friend, abandoning her for being inconvenient, but. fuck. i can't anymore. fuck it.

#personal #long rant #longish #friendship drama

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jabbage · 1 year

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#Letters from Watson #lettersfromwatson

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tea-with-evan-and-me · 1 year

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Sorry everyone, this is going to be a long one.

Originally, I was going to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself but this situation with GFTWD has gotten so out of control that I am not going to keep my mouth shut any longer.

I want to make it clear that I am not the anonymous person who told you about her plans for doxxing, but I was also in her inner circle and was part of the “discord girls”. I left before your blog came along because I was there for the Fran tea and once we realized Fran and Evan weren’t together for real (they never spent thanksgiving, christmas, or valentines day together) I ended up by leaving, because she wasn’t talking about Fran on her blog or in the discord, and things were getting more and more toxic.

To the anonymous in our group who talked about the doxxing: I love and miss you. When you were blocked by GFTWD for not going with her plan, the trash took itself out, I believe that 100%. You are better off.

This morning, I saw that GFTWD received 2 anonymous posts about how the anonymous person knows where the “bff works” (I am assuming this has to do with the friend above who “betrayed her”) and another who said “if she don’t stop I’ll contact her workplace” (which I took to either mean you or the “bff who betrayed her”. To which GFTWD responded “what would that accomplish”.

I called her out and said that she draws the line at contacting people’s workplace but her and her rabid hyena minions are making a full on plan on doxxing a whole person simply because they posted asks of other people who want to talk about their awful experiences of her and that is what happens when you treat people badly that you get talked about, and that she has no one to blame but herself and how disgusting and toxic this has all become.

She went ahead and made a post saying she isn’t going to read all that (obviously she did cause she spent the next hour and a half making posts, revisiting what the friend said about her doxxing you and demanding proof with chat logs and wants to know what the chatrooms in her old discord were. Didn’t take responsibility at all and decided to gaslight instead. Gaslighting is her specialty).

As I said, I am not the original friend who told you about the doxxing, but since GFTWD needs proof, our chat rooms were labeled Michael (from the air b and b profile, you know exactly what I am talking about), Tropical horny for our late night sexy Evan chats, oh and the fact that 6 of us had changed our profile pictures to spongebob pictures, among other chatrooms . Is that enough proof for you?

I 100% believe in the doxxing plan, even though I wasn’t there. GFTWD had mentioned family members knowing hacking stuff way before. If you weren’t part of her separate chat room with her “discord girls” then I don’t want to hear you talking about how it’s not true, because she had 2 servers, ones with people she trusted and she wouldn’t have said that in the discord where she had the general chat of a bunch of people she never trusted. I 100% believe everything the anonymous friend said. GFTWD would post screenshots of negative anonymous posts along with screenshots of evan blogs talking about her and would rile us all up to the point where some of the people would message and attack those blogs, she had asked for someone to message them (she would make it seem like she is just calling out Fran and didn’t deserve such hate, which riled EVERYONE up). She is vindictive and would 100% come up with a plan like that. No one knows the truth except her and the "discord girls" who are on another separate server and it wasn't the general one that she keeps posting on her profile with links. You needed a special invitation for that one. Not to mention, before this plot came to light she was making posts on her blog about how people were playing with fire and how she has a wild card and not to mess with her. How dumb do you think people are GFTWD? You think we all can't put 2 and 2 together? It makes sense. I know for a fact none of those beautiful ladies who were in the "discord girls" chat would get upset cause you blocked them for not complying and make a lie like that. They would never. I guess since she is a master at gaslighting people, she is trying to make it seem like she would never do that. But, some of us know better. I see you.

I didn’t realize how toxic things were until I left and I am completely disgusted in her behavior and how bad this has gotten. I will be removing myself entirely from the fandom, but I will keep up with this blog since you are cool.

I hope her other “discord girls” can get away from all this toxicity as well because I still love and care for them as well. And as for her other rabid hyenas, do better. Evan would just be disgusted if he knew what kind of mess his fandom has created. We are supposed to be kind to one another. I used to be so happy connecting with other Evan fans because I never had friends who cared to talk about Evan, and here we are. Talking shit, doxxing, and scaring people away from their blogs. Real classy.

you know, as much as i try and keep a sense of humor about the entire concept of someone having an internet beef over evan peters tumblr blogs, i really do just want to say that when i sit and read a message like this, really conceptualize it... this behavior is just extremely alarming.

no one should be living like this. no one should be logging on every single day hyped up with the intent to be harmful and vindictive. to threaten people and try to make them feel scared or insecure. when you say an ''anon'' messaged her that they were going to ''contact her workplace'', just know that it is gftwd herself sending those messages anonymously, because she knows if she says it herself, it will only confirm everyone's suspicions that she is behaving like an awful person. no one is out here trying to stalk and threaten me but her. there are no mysterious, shadowy figures investigating me and trying to doxx me, it's just her because she has developed an intense hatred for me over valid criticism of her conduct online. since the inception of this blog i have probably received well over 100 anonymous messages which were clearly her, trying to threaten, intimidate and encourage me to delete my blog.

like i said before, you cannot control what other people do. she is going to continue to talk about me, continue to try to doxx me, continue to play the victim when no one is doing anything to her. i'm sure as hell not out here trying to find where she lives and works. i never have and never will send her a hate message despite the way she is making things personal with me. because i do not give a single fuck to bother her, and i never will because i am capable of taking issue with someone's behavior and not wanting to bring harm to them and their lives. i am capable of scrolling past and moving along, which is what she should do. she needs to rename her blog because clearly it ain't about evan peters or frances mairead anymore.

anyhow, thank you. this blog is not a space for hate. i agree that we should be kind to one another, at the bare minimum we should be respectful and understand we're all allowed our individual opinions. that's why i made this account - because i don't think any reasonable question or topic that wants to be discussed should be met with mean, rude comments. if you are here because you want to have fun, discuss evan peters, talk about things that normally aren't brought up in fandom, then you are here for the right reasons. who the hell should come on tumblr to hatefollow accounts and make themselves angry? makes no sense to me. i'm here to enjoy myself and hopefully entertain those who read and engage. you all are not my fans, not my minions to go be unleashed on my ''enemies''.. we're all equal stakeholders because this platform can't exist without one another. when someone forgets that is the case, this situation is what happens.

anyway... happy saturday all!

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mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 2 months

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Satan & Lucifer Ain't The Freaking Same! (I'm Not A Knowles Fan...)

[Note: Reading This Is Optional...also this is me standing up for Hazbin Hotel after finding a video by some Toxic-Religious Jerk who has NO freaking idea that Hazbin Hotel and of course Helluva Boss, is for Mature Audiences and there for Not for those who are Under 18+...this is for Mature Readers only...so Not For Kids.]

Oh my gosh….I can NOT with some Toxic-Religious people, there is a video by some guy called "Michael Knowles" and he freaking dares to call Hazbin Hotel a "Kids Show" Oh My Gosh! what kind of…even if some might make that mistake at first, at least some who might make that mistake will soon find out probably right away that it is NOT for Kids, it's for Mature Audiences…

meaning ya have to be at least 18+ to watch it…and FYI, it is pretty clear that "Satan" and "Lucifer" ain't the Fragging Same!

I mean in the show, Lucifer runs The Pride Ring and The Other runs The Wrath Ring…

I still want to flip off Cain's Bio-Dad though, because once again he ain't the boss of me and if I had to be a "Rebel" it should be to help fix and restore the balance between The Masculine and Feminine Energies, and put a stop to The Toxic-Masculine energy… I still want to give Lucifer the cold hands to face punishment, because he just had to do that little "rebellion" at the worst possible time. I wouldn't be surprised if that Michael Knowles doesn't listen to reason, he is one of those Toxic-Religious ones who are part of the Toxic-Masculine energy…

and excuse me if this Earth Angel Princess happens to like Hazbin Hotel, and sees Charlie and Emily as kindred spirits…

couldn't really bring myself to watch that full video that Michael Knowles posted, don't know if I had seen that before or if it was some other Toxic-Religious jerk with some video that was bad mouthing the show…this is one of the reasons I want to go live with Omni-Mom, ya know The Goddess.

if I decide to say what the name of the video is in the future, I will…maybe…but I just don't want to right now…

but that man seriously peeved me off a little with his bull slag talk…

plus besides some Toxic-Satanists, though they are on the list of among Toxic-Religious people...

even those who are part of a good religion but also might end up having corrupted people running it, and I guess at times new and good people will have to become a part of the religion's church to try to restore and heal it from the corruption...

and well the ones who do the most harm and cause Religious Trauma will be of course, Toxic-Religious people.

like that one Toxic-Religious jerk from a few years ago, who couldn't accept that I believe in The Divine Earthly Mother now, I mean I can still believe in The Divine Heavenly Father as well, but I guess that isn't good enough for that Toxic-Religious Jerk who kept throwing the whole "may god have mercy on you" or "may the lord have mercy on you" at me over and over, despite the fact it was hurting my feelings and making me cry, and I know it was one of the two words, I just can't 100% remember which one it was...

no matter how I pointed out how it was making me feel, they just kept throwing those words at me....and at some point I had to block them over at the place where it had happen.

it may also had to do with my having currently at the time viewing myself as "Gyno-Agender" I think, I was still figuring out the type of Nonbinary that I am....but now I know I'm Nonbinary-Girl who still goes by She/Her but also They/Them.

and the reason I self nicknamed myself "Eveningstar Princess" is because the weird thing that had to do with my Mom NEVER getting Morning Sickness with me, she only got Evening Sickness.

and I still want to nickname Cain and Seth as Grunkle-Grandpas...

or like Grunkle-Paws...also even if it does turn out Cain isn't Adam's Biological Son, Adam is still his Real Father.

maybe if some Toxic-Religious people had to learn that by watching that first Silent Hill Movie based off of the game series and even the second movie of Guardians Of The Galaxy, they night understand.

Rose knew the moment she saw Sharon, that she was the girl's mother and Sharon was her daughter.

Ego might of been Quill's Bio-Dad, but he wasn't his Daddy, he did not love Quill like a parent should that honor goes to Quill's True Father.

so just because Samael or like King of Wrath may have fathered Cain, don't mean he was his Daddy...

and yeah I'm technically Cain's Descendant Granddaughter who can't really be open to my family about no longer calling myself Christian.

I mean I can still believe in some of the stuff that can be found in the Bible, but my new view is gonna be a bit different now thanks to my eyes being open to what is wrong with some parts of the patriarchy...

one of the parts that is wrong with it, that has to do with the Toxic-Masculine energy, yeah Toxic-Feminine is still a problem but it isn't in the same level as dangerous as it's masculine counterpart.

it is better for everyone to only believe this truth by their free will and not forced into it. it could be possible that in theory, some are too hooked into the teachings of only praising The Divine Masculine side...it takes them much longer than most to break free.

they no matter if they are a man or woman, will probably have to listen to their Positive Feminine side, and NOT just the Masculine side.

I think maybe, some who who were once trapped by the Toxic-Masculine energy and once was at the time Toxic-Religious, will start to have a better view of Hazbin Hotel and Charlie trying to save the Sinners and have them be redeemed.

of course Charlie knows not everyone can be redeemed, just some who still have that spark of goodness.

Grandpa King David's Sicko Son, shouldn't be given such a thing...

and that sicko better hope that Tamar isn't one of my Soul-Parents...

it's not 100% like reincarnation, but you are born from a fragment from one or more Soul-Parents...not everyone has to believe that.

I mean, I have these new weird thoughts that when the soul fragments that would become me was born, I might of been weak and not stable, and a Archeia had to act as my surrogate and I ended up absorbing some of her soul essence that will make me become her actual daughter...

maybe I'm being paranoid, but if that is true, that would mean my Earth Angel Mom is my Ohma and the Archeia Mom who acted as a surrogate is my Fama...

and yes I'm a fan of Vandread, I might watch some episodes later tonight or tomorrow.

I'm not a fan of that Michael Knowles, he even dares to call Hazbin Hotel a "kids show" when it's Not.

even if some might make that mistake at first, it can be tolerable and okay and good once the people who made that mistake learn it is for those who are Mature and not for those who are under the ages of 18...

he probably ended up making a lot of people more mad than how he made me. I think I had calmed down some...

also I can have a view that there was a Adam and Eve that are the true Father and Mother of all humankind, it just isn't the Adam, Lilith and Eve ones, they are of course the new hybrid generation that had to do with the Annunaki, but not everyone has to believe that.

there was likely other Gardens, not just Eden, which means some humans from different places will have their own version of Adam and Eve.

I can believe in the science of humankind's evolution and that God and Goddess had created us.

and I can believe that Adam did have Lilith as a first wife, which of course comes from a different religion, but most of my ancestors were Jewish, and Grandpa King Solomon's Mother came from a different religion as well...

being a part of the branch of King Solomon that can't take that throne still isn't a curse to me, it is a blessing in disguise.

the Ozzie from our universe still makes me paranoid, I mean not that he says "be paranoid", it's just I worry he might want to get back at King Solomon and well.....I know I'm not as cute or as beautiful as some, and even if it be nice he doesn't try something like trying to woo and seduce one of King Solomon's descendants....

I just can't really get those thoughts out, which is why I'm trying to keep my guard up...I still think I might of been a weird accident, like one of those unforeseen types, I mean I'm so weird I had started to pray for Jesus because I suspect he could fall influence to the Toxic-Masculine and might take part in some messed up choices.

so it's like needing to protect him from himself when it gets to that.

not everyone has to agree about my thoughts and feelings about it, but after some stuff that happen that matched what I read before...

I ain't taken any chances...even if I can still believe in the good side of him...

also some fans of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, can be religious or not at all, I mean those who are Atheist could enjoy the shows as well.

even if I have no interest in getting a real life Boyfriend now, either it be online or in the real world.

if he ended up being Atheist, I wont try to change him against his will.

he will have to respect my weirdness and different spiritual and religious views and I believe in both God & Goddess.

ya can try to force this twilight princess, but I believe in magic, and I'm coming at ya like Nightmare Moon. XD

yeah some might guess the song I'm parody referencing to, even if it also references another song as well...

so yeah the "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry and "Yuri The Only One" by LeetStreet Boys.

and Nightmare Moon is from My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic.

it can probably be hard for some to have to put up with toxic people, and some end up being toxic-religious, and there can possibly be different levels of toxic-religious in some human beings, some do have hope of breaking away from it, maybe because they don't have so much toxic energy in their bodies and souls and can break out of the hold that the toxic-masculine had on them.

like they can possibly stay in the same religion, but they can try to not fall back into the hands of the toxic-masculine that had secretly rooted itself into it, corrupting those who become a part of it.

I know not everyone will believe that, and they don't have to, but it's just what I believe now.

people in a religion can have a mix of good and bad people, and at times there will be very VERY bad ones that are mixed in with the lesser bad ones.

I still think one of the signs that the Feminine side is getting a bit more better and fighting back the Toxic-Masculine, that does harm to the good side of the Masculine side...

is that women got the rights to vote, and I learned that some women from a certain place in the other side of the world, is standing up for what it is right, and I hope they win and everyone will be kept safe and protected from the Toxic-Masculine.

when I feel ready to, I will say what place it is...just not now.

even if that Michael Knowles thinks he is doing something "good" even with he hasn't a freaking clue that Hazbin Hotel as well as Helluva Boss, is NOT for children and it is meant for a Mature 18+ Audience.

and it's parents own fault, not the mature shows, movies or video games or book series, that is CLEARLY pointed out, not for those underage of 18+ and is for MATURE Audiences only, and they can't keep scapegoating the mature content forever.

and yeah, when I was probably about 5 years old, I saw a movie I really shouldn't of watched, which at first I misremembered that it was my Mom who let me watch it, but it turned out it was one of my much older cousins, I think during that time someone could of covered my eyes in some parts.

but it's like even if you do still like the movie, even when you become older, you can have a better understanding that you should NOT of watched it at such a young age, and it isn't the mature content that is at full fault, it is those who allowed you to watch it at such a young age, and they shouldn't of....come to think of it, there were probably other movies that I ended up seeing that I shouldn't of watched until I was at the proper age to view it...

I can view mature movies more freely now I guess, though I guess some movies I could look away or close my eyes to at times, though CGI types might be a bit more okay, I'm not 100% sure if I have some kind of phobia of blood or not, like the CGI type that ya see in video games doesn't seem as a bad.

and yeah, more than one time I had that not so great feeling when I had to do that whole checking my blood type thing, and yeah I did have to have help with that...

it's just I would feel not so great, and after it got done I had to go sit or lay down near some cool air.

plus I learned that it is best to close my eyes, and yeah I'm still procrastinating in seeing if my blood type will come out as "O RH D Negative" for a third, but hopefully we will finally get around to it...

the last two successes had the blood type come out "O RH D Negative" twice, so I want to try to do that test again when we are finally able to.

I don't know how many will even read this, but it's fine not many do.

plus that Knowles should know that Satan and Lucifer are often mistaken as being one in the same, when they may truly be two separate beings...

and I'm still gonna have the thoughts of wanting to flip the bio-Dad of Grunkle-Paw Cain's the bird, I could be reading a book or playing a video game while doing so...

so maybe pulling a bit of a Loona, perhaps.

at least some people who may have watched the full video by that Knowles, were not happy with him either...and even pointed out the fact that the show is NOT for kids...

I rather not say the name of the video at this moment, I rather try to not think too much at the moment of the stupidity that has unfortunately plagued my eyes and ears from the first few minutes or seconds of his toxic-masculine bull slag...

sorry if that sounds mean, but I just can't stand toxic-religious people who are on a higher level of toxic...at least some people are able to reform and redeem themselves and detoxify themselves from the hold of the toxic-masculine energy and try to heal from it thanks to the good side of the masculine and feminine energy.

not everyone has to view it in that way, but it is what I view it.

the toxic-feminine can still be a problem and be dangerous in it's own way, but the level of it isn't in the same high level as the masculine one, and the toxic-masculine energy could be the reason the Goddess was wrongly dethroned in the first place.

of course even if I do point this out, even if my learning about the Goddess's dethroning has to do with one of the books I have.

it isn't like those who are too deep in the toxic-masculine energy and toxic-religious view, will even listen to me or others anyway.

if they want to listen and believe it, they will have to do so by their own free will, and that can only happen if they break free from the toxic-masculine energy and let the good sides of the masculine and feminine energy heal them...that is what I believe and theorized could be true, that those who are too far deep in the toxic-masculine part of the toxic-religious view, even if some parts of the religion can still be good, but some might twist things, and well...they might need to try to break free in their own way, but finding some truths in other places.

like I did for myself, when I ended up getting some book that had to do with the Goddess.

I can't wait for Season 2 of Hazbin Hotel, and I know that the next new episode of Season 2 of Helluva Boss will be worth the wait.

I'm still gonna view Charlie and Emily as kindred spirits, but I wonder if some fans do feel the same way as well about those two...?

anyway it might of been a good thing I decided not to watch the full video that had Michael Knowles talking on it...if I did watch the full video, he would of probably ended up peeving me off a bit more.

and I rather not get super peeved off today, thank you very much.

I might try some meditation later, which is just me having my eyes closed and listening to music.

like the songs "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" & "Release Me" by Agnes.

I could find other songs to use as well for meditation.

like "Born Without A Heart" by Faouzia.

an there is "Woman" by Doja Cat...

maybe even some songs from Sailor Moon, the "Power Of Love" might fit for one of the options.

I think the last time I saw a video that bad mouthed Hazbin Hotel in such a toxic way, it wasn't just by that Michael Knowles guy.

can't really remember the name of the one who was the last one who did that.

but at least there were some videos, that did talk about the show in a good way, I can't remember the name of the video's name that talked positive about it, but if I ever run into it again, I might say the name in a future post, but it was by some guy who I think was a type of Pastor.

he is thankfully not full of the Toxic-Masculine, and if I was able to, I would give him the strongest hug.....though, maybe that wouldn't be a good idea...I would have to hold back some...

if I put too much in a hug, it can be a bit too much for some.

I can hug hard at times...and I want to try not to do that and at least try to hold back some hug strength.

like being around 5'5" (but I can't help but wonder if I might be 5'4" but then again I did once thought I was 5'6" but it turns out I'm not) should hug someone who is like 5'7 or taller with all the hug power they have in them.....they are likely end up hurting the much taller person without meaning to.

and yeah I was a big surprise to my Mom and the rest of the side of her family, Dad of course wasn't there for the birth...and even if Stolas can get away with cheating on Stella, because some fans will be okay with it...because of how Canon Stella is, but might like some AU Fanon versions of her, and I'm still gonna ship her with Mammon, cause the ship drawings I saw of them made me want to OTP ship them and their ship name that pop into my head "Mamtella" had made me hungry once because it reminds me of food...

and well, yeah my Dad when he and Mom were separated, but still married.....he freaking cheated on her, I did misremember the story and thought he did that with his ex-wife, but it turns out it was by someone else....who I guess later might of became his wife.

if he was there for my birth, he would of got the same surprise as my Mom did, when she found out how big her newborn baby girl (nonbinary-girl earth angel princess who is weird.) is...

I know I said this before, and well I will say it again.

so yeah apparently when I was a newborn, I was as big as a 2 week old.

and some people who found out that my Mom just had me, couldn't believe she was walking, and some even thought I was much older than what I was really....maybe it has to do with some genetics.

and even if Lute from Hazbin Hotel, says that "Angels don't make mistakes." I will have to correctly tell her "Yeah, Right. Tell That To The Watcher Angels, cause I'm one of their Little Mistake Descendant Granddaughters."

I would drop the mic on to the floor if I was holding a mic. XD

not even sure if they will even bring up the whole Nephilim thing in Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, and it will be okay if they ended up not doing that and it only ends up in the Fanon Timelines like in AUs of the shows.

I don't think I can dislike Stolas for accidentally having affair, even if it may still been wrong but at the same time, we know he was trapped in a bad marriage that was arranged even though he still tried to make it work and give Octavia a normal life.

plus Octavia might not of seen the full picture or understand how things truly were before the affair happen, but maybe she will in the future.

some time I do want to talk about a theory I have that has to do with

"Seven Holy Earth Princesses" which I don't think I would count as a part of, even if I'm technically a "Earth Angel Princess"....even if I'm a weird one who also self nicknamed myself "The Embodiment Of Weirdness".....and well being Weird can be another form of Laughter.

anyway I'm going to do my best to not let that video get to me, even if it did a little and I didn't watch the full version of it, and it might of been a good thing I didn't because that Michael Knowles guy might of ending up peeving me off a whole lot more than how I was feeling at that time....lucky I was feeling only a little bit peeved.

anyway I know the chances of a lot of people reading this is very small, possibly...and well reading this is optional.

but for those who read this, even all of it...

thanks for reading it, and hope some understand and don't misinterpret anything. and also understand that toxic-religious people can just end up really peeving one off, well that and some can end up causing religious trauma, and there can be different types of the trauma....some can be from past life trauma from the life you had before you reborn into this one. but maybe only a few people end up with that kind of trauma, that has to do with past life trauma caused by toxic-religious people and not just hurtful words by some toxic-religious person or people in the here and now.

just be thankful and lucky not to have full memories of the past lives, and just be thankful for some good memories in the here and now in your current life...even if some percent of your current life does have bad memories as well, but you can still be glad for the good memories to keep you happy. not sure if that makes sense to some, but if some who have either full memories or half of a bits and pieces of past life memories get what I'm saying, I just hope those words are understood and aren't misunderstood...and that it helps a little.

also when dealing with some Toxic-Religious people, it might be best not to let them get to you in a super bad way, I mean yeah you can get a bit mad, but also you can try to be calm, like you can try to keep it together when talking a bit how wrong they are and know they are just being full of toxic-masculine energy or I guess in some cases toxic-feminine, if the toxic-feminine ends up teaming up, though hopefully that toxic-feminine doesn't do that...

and well, at least some people have some sense to know that guy is in the wrong and him calling Hazbin Hotel a "Kids Show" or "Kids Cartoon", proves he doesn't know anything and he doesn't know that the show itself and Helluva Boss, is NOT for kids, and is for a Mature Audience around 18+ and older...

I will be positng some fan art in a little bit, but before then...I'm going to check out some art on here and listen to Fizz's "2 Minutes Notice" song.

best to listen to some music and check out some art and maybe do some reading as well, and maybe watch a movie later.

to take one's mind off of a Toxic-Religious Man who I'm glad I didn't watch that full video of his, because once again he might end up making me super peeved off, and I'm glad that I only ended up feeling a little peeved....still not gonna let Toxic-Religious people like him or that one from a few years ago who hurt my feelings, get away with that bull slag, just have to try my best and hope they can be stop in a more pacifist way that can make everyone happy.

even if some might be on that guy's side, this Earth Angel Princes is not, because once again I'm on the side that wants the balance of the Masculine and Feminine to be restored, and stop the Toxic-Masculine and some of the Toxic-Feminine...

not everyone has to believe that, but I'm still going to try my best and hope that the Toxic-Masculine is put a stop to, and the balance for the good side of the Masculine and Feminine gets better for all of us on this planet and for the whole universe we live in...

I wont force convert others, if some want to believe it or not, that is their choice and it should be of their free will, and not because of forced converting....anyway I'm gonna hurry up and post this.

and yeah this might of end up being a bit off topic as well, and well I'm just going to listen to that "2 Minutes Notice" song now, and check out some fan art and then I will post some fan art in a little while...

also it is best not to give Toxic-Religious people any power, even that one that made that video that I'm still not going to say the name of...at least not at this point in time, I rather try to put what little I saw of his video out of my head for now, and try to take my mind off of it.

maybe later tonight I will watch FNAF Movie, well that and maybe watch some other movies as well, that might be a good idea. :)

#do not reblog without permission #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #not for kids #mature audiences only #toxic people #religion #religious trauma #talking about feelings #my thoughts #april 2024

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almostinsanesposts · 1 year

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Part 2

Meet him!

You know what it’s not that I am scared of boys. It’s that am scared of my parents who have been very much protective over me and my sister. My brother is just left like that because we just have to focus on his moves. He’s a flirt, a pro flirt like me. Yeah, I am, you might wonder about me warning these guys. The only reason is I know them and they know me already. All the five. They’ve been my time pass for a year. And nobody knows that we know each other.

“Why would you just say that?” He barks at me. “Say what?” I ask as if I didn’t do anything wrong. I mean yea, I didn’t do anything wrong. I just warned them. “You know our parents. I know that you want them to shout at me and keep me inside until these kids go. And I don’t want that. Just taking precautions.” I stop and just put it straight at him. “We aren’t kids.” He picks up just that. “Uggh you wanna argue just with the phrase ‘these kids?’ I don’t have time for that.” I turn back to my closet. He left shutting the door loudly.

At a point of time, there’s nothing wrong in standing on your grounds. You can’t always give them chances to shout at you or play with your emotions. And while talking about emotions… I don’t want to have emotions on anyone. Out there. “Are you sure?” I ask myself. “Yea as always I am.” Nothing. I just confirmed with my heart too. You know it just skips for people. Especially to that one.

“Heyyy Pia! My pretty woman is back. How’s your journey dear?” That’s my mom after her office and gossips back home. “Hi mamma, amazing. You look great.” We shared some warm hugs and kisses. “Where is Kiran?”

“He just made a mess and left.”

“Started the first day of come back? You guys never stop creating a mess.”

“You know that it’s him always who start and … alright what’s the need for you to say yes to those guys?”

“Which one? Oh friends’ of Kiran? Pia, they are kids. Good ones. And it’s a matter of months. Not for so long.”

“Oh don’t say that they’re kids. He just argued for me saying that word. And whatever… I need more pampers that I missed out.” I hug her again and continue to do my folding. It’s not getting done easily. I miss Kia. Kia and Kiran are twins. And I actually love them both except for the mess he creates with me.

It’s evening and went to the rooftop to feel some air. Obviously I had to pass these guys. Thank god the doors weren’t open. Hopefully they aren’t inside. I was listing to one direction and just giving some moves. “P!” Heard a voice from behind. That must be one among Kiran’s friends because they call me P as he does. And I hate it sometimes. I turn back to give a shout. But, I don’t know, I just got stuck. The air felt going inside me blocking my words. I couldn’t move either. I felt numb. I was searching for words. “Come on yaar what’s wrong with you. It’s just him. Why do you feel awkward now.” I made myself feel comfortable. “Hey!” I waved and he was standing there, standing next to me. It was him, Ilahi!

#spilled ink #spilled thoughts #my words #authors #my writing #reader insert #short story #poets on tumblr #open letter #poetry #storyboard #story #short fiction #fiction

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another-stark-sub · 3 years

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“Are you in love with him?” - Tony Stark Imagine

Notes: I wrote and editted this in two hours instead of going over my notes. Was gonna be spicy fluffy but it just turned into fluffy, and one of the lines/paragraphs (smth like that i dont remember how long that segment was) is based on/inspired by a fanfic on ao3 I bookmarked. I think it’s debt-free, but I could be wrong. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and I’m so sorry im not on here more oftennnnn

- - -

“Of course I am. He’s Tony Stark.” You sighed, a weight finally lifted off your chest. “Who isn’t in love with him?”

Bruce blinked a few times, the confusion evident on his face. “Then, why don’t you tell him?”

You scoffed. These geniuses think they know everything, but they couldn’t see what was glaringly obvious to you. “He’s Tony Stark.”

The perplexed expression didn’t disappear from your friend’s expression. So, you explained further, “It’s already a privilege, beyond that really, to be talking to you, to any Avenger. To work with any of you is an honor, and to be friends with you” -you laughed- “it shouldn’t even be possible for someone like me.”

“Don’t say that. You’re amazing, too.”

You tried to find any tick, any clue that he was lying. But Bruce seemed to really believe this. “I know I’m amazing.” You shrugged. “I’m great. I love and I care deeply, and I have a stable job. I have a place for myself, and I take care of myself.” You clicked your tongue. “However, you all, all you Avengers… Forget out of my league, more like off planet.

“And Tony? He said it himself. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Add superhero, figurehead, public figure, ex-CEO, and savior of the universe. Bruce, I have confidence in myself, but Tony is something else entirely. No one is worthy of him or his affections unless they’re a god or another Avenger.”

It was hard to keep up with the statistical analysis you were trying to run. The literal one on your hologram and the one keeping your view of Tony in check. So, defeated, you sighed and leaned back in your chair.

Bruce closed his own work and stood across the lab bench. “Weirdly enough, I’m sure none of us Avengers think that way.” After a few taps of his pen against his palm, he added, “Aren’t there fans making posts about you, too? Tony showed me the, uh, Instagram videos.”

You laughed. “Fan edits don’t make an Avenger. Saving the world does.”

He shrugged. “You help us save the world.”

“From inside Avengers Tower on a computer.” You took a deep breath. “Look, Bruce, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But, I’m not telling him.” You shrugged and brought your statistical analysis back up.

You knew your own worth. You were worthy of an amazing partner and person. Tony Stark, though, was easy beyond that. You had accepted it soon after you realized your own feelings, and while they haven’t dwindled, you knew it was for the best.

~ - ~

Tony had never resorted to this before. It was never a question of his ability to code. In the past, it was because he didn’t need a program or an AI to do it for him. He could always tell if someone was into him. He knew when Pepper was into him. The moment Rhodey gazed at him back in their MIT days. Every single reporter and heiress and model he slept with, he knew when their thoughts turned sexual or romantic.

You, though. With you, he couldn’t fucking tell, and he knew it was because of his own feelings. Tony felt intensely for people before. Pepper, Rhodey, that one reporter all those years ago. However, with you, it wasn’t just that fluttery feeling in his gut or the immediate smile he can’t seem to stop when he sees you. It was the comfort he felt when he heard your voice or the softness he could feel in his heart when he saw a picture of you.

It was like his entire life was full of panic, never resting, never stopping. But when you entered his life with a gentle smile and a quick wit, it felt like he could finally breathe.

It was addicting.

“Sir, I have the calculations.”

“Hit me.”

“Speech diagnostics of you and of Ms. (Y/l/n) are similar. Whenever you speak of her, 79.4% is positive and 18.8% is neutral. Ms. (Y/l/n) has 78.9% positive and 17.2% neutral dialogue regarding you. When she speaks of you, her heartrate increases by 4.6%, and similarly, yours increases by 4.1%. When speaking to each other, heartrate initially increases by 7%.”

Tony nodded. “How does this compare to other Avengers? I gush about Banner like a teenager.”

“Well, sir, while you and Ms. (Y/l/n) have high positive dialogue about other Avengers, all of them have at least a 10% decrease compared to each other. And heartrate varies depending on the topic of conversation.”

Tony snapped his fingers. “Am I excluding all non-super friends? Include any agents, co-workers. Pep isn’t an Avenger after all.”

Friday took two seconds and responded. “You and Ms. (Y/l/n) have a significant difference in speech diagnostics when talking about or to each other compared to any other Avenger, co-worker, and friend.”

When Tony remained quiet, Friday added, “Do you want me to repeat the results?”

“You don’t need to, Friday.”

“But you’re not doing anything with the new information. Would you like me to save these findings?”

“Friday,” Tony warned.

There was silence as the love-wrecked scientist pressed his fist between his brows. Data and cold hard facts said yes, but was it right?

“Sir?”

“Yes, Fri?”

“Would you like me to play examples for you?”

He blinked. “Examples?”

“Yes. Of you and her talking about each other positively.”

It was an invasion of privacy. Tony shouldn’t.

“Play examples.”

Before his rational mind could tell Friday no.

“Are you in love with him?”

Tony’s eyes widened. This was too private. It might not even be about him.”Friday-”

“Of course I am.”

“-stop playback.”

“He’s Tony Sta-”

“Playback stopped.”

Tony scrambled. “What? No, wait, go back. Play it.” Screw rational. You knew he was a narcissist. You wouldn’t expect him to hear that and stop.

“He’s Tony Stark. Who isn’t in love with him?”

“Then, why don’t you tell him?”

“... He’s Tony Stark.”

Tony started to fiddle with something on his desk. “What does that mean?”

Friday answered, “Dr. Banner asked her if she loved you, and she said yes. This means that she’s in love with you.”

Why did he program Friday like this? “I know that. I mean, those two lines. Why does me being Tony Stark stop her from saying something?” Was it the attention? Did you want some sort of normal life away from cameras and international gossip? Maybe it was the Avenging. Having a partner who was always out risking death wasn’t ideal.

Sure, you could be in love with him. But you couldn’t be with him.

“Maybe you should ask her.”

There were celebrities who were able to live normal lives. Some paid to have prosthetics for going outside of moved to a remote country to get out of the spotlight. He thrived off attention, but he could give that up. Avenging, he couldn’t give that up, but maybe he could cut back. Take a mission a month instead of one a week. Or maybe take more digital missions. He wasn’t just Iron Man after all. He was a genius, could hack into the Pentagon if he really wanted to.

“Yeah,” he said. “Maybe I could talk to her.”

~ - ~

The moment you put your bag down on your lab table, Tony said, “You’re gonna be mad.”

You narrowed your brows. “What did you do?” You pressed your palm to your chest. “Oh my god, Peter overwrote my data, didn’t he? Ugh, I know he said he’s great at managing holograms, but really, Tone, you should’ve given him a tutorial before giving him access.” You brought up your holograms to check your data and analysis.

“That’s not it.” Tony stood next to you as you looked through your files. “I did something that invaded your privacy.”

You tilted your head. Closing the holograms, you took a deep breath and slowly asked, “How?”

Tony flashed an embarrassed grin before sighing. “You’re gonna be shocked, too, so prepare yourself.”

You did not know where this was going at all. What horrible thing could Tony have done? Steeling yourself, you took a deep breath and nodded at him to continue.

Tony cleared his throat. “Usually, I can tell when someone has feelings for me. People are obvious about it, but you? You aren’t. So, I had Friday do some analysis on our speech patterns. Me, being in love with you, was one of my controls. You and your dialogue regarding me was the main variable.

“Long story short, I accessed some audio of you and Bruce talking, and you said that you loved me but could never tell me.” He glanced at you. “So that’s why I need to apologize.”

Your expression didn’t change. No, that wasn’t it. You, at first, looked confused. Now, there was just nothing. No expression. No wrinkled brow in anger of flushed cheeks in embarrassment. Nothing.

Tony blinked. “You can shout at me now. If you were confused about when to shout at me.”

You licked your lips before taking a deep breath. “Ok, that was a lot.” You pursed your lips then opened it. But, you couldn’t really think of anything to say. You didn’t even know how to feel. “So you know that I” -you pointed at yourself and then at him- “and that I didn’t wanna tell you.” You shook your head. “Wait, do you know why I didn’t want to tell you?”

A broken scoff left Tony’s lips. “Yeah. I’m a mess.”

It was your turn to scoff. “Wait, you’re a mess? That’s why you think I don’t want to tell you?”

“Among other reasons?”

Other reasons?

You crossed your arms. “Ok, what other reasons?”

Tony looked offended. Still, he listed, “I’m surrounded by cameras, and everyone wants some privacy. Can’t get it if you’re with me. Then, there’s the Iron Man of it all. I went into a wormhole with a nuke. That was also all over the news. Then, there’s the whole daddy issues thing. I’m working on it, but it takes a while-”

He rambled on and on, listing reason after reason, and with each one, you felt tears well up in your eyes. It was a weird mix of heartbreaking, confusing, and enraging. The emotions built up slowly with each word that left his mouth, overwhelming you to the point that you couldn’t even say how it happened.

But, as Tony paced and talked so horribly about himself, you somehow ended up in front of him with your hands on his cheeks.

You only realized it when Tony stopped talking and when his breath touched your lips. “What?” he asked.

You didn’t answer. You kissed him instead.

It was a hard press of your lips against his. It was short, and it wasn’t much.

But by the way Tony gripped the back of your neck and pulled you back for another kiss, you’d think it was his first kiss. You knew it wasn’t. Not just because you knew he had kissed all sorts of people before you, but because he somehow knew how to make you gasp and melt into him.

While one hand kept you steady, the other trailed down your back and pulled you closer to him. His lips moved fluidly against yours, pushing and pulling, and everytime he moved back, you chased his lips to continue the kiss, because the softness, the passion, the fact it was finally happening, was all too good. You didn’t want it to stop.

Your hands started to move. For someone so rich, his t-shirt was rough when you twisted it between your fingers and pulled it to you. Slowly, you trailed your fingers along the side of his neck. You rubbed your thumb along his pulse point, a reminder that this was indeed real. You were kissing Tony Stark, and- He was pulling away again.

Desperate, you leaned forward, reached around to hold onto his shoulder, and kissed the side of his neck.

He let out a breathy laugh, and before you could suck on his skin, his stubble scratched your cheek.

You looked up at him and giggled when his nose bumped into yours. When your giggles turned into a smile, he kissed you again, a soft and short kiss, before leaning his forehead against yours.

His thumbs rubbed circles into your waist as you lightly scratched the back of his neck. He didn’t say anything. In fact, he seemed busy gazing at you.

“Speechless, Stark?” you teased.

He laughed. For a few seconds, he just gazed at you, seeming to prove your point. Tony’s hand began to wander, from stroking your cheek to pushing back your hair. “More confused.”

Remembering why you interrupted him, you brought your hands to his cheeks again and held him there so he couldn’t look away from you. “You are amazing, Tony. That’s the reason I didn’t want to tell you.” You shrugged. “You’re too good for me.”

His fidgeting stopped. “Well, that’s not true.”

“Tony, you’re an Avenger.”

“Technically, you are also an Avenger.”

“You’re a genius.”

“Who can’t cook scrambled eggs.”

“You literally saved the universe.”

“After producing weapons of mass destruction for decades.”

You glared at him.

He glared back. Then, he fought back. “I don’t plan on retiring.”

“Wouldn’t want you to.”

“I have severe PTSD, anxiety, maybe ADHD, all mixed with trauma galore.”

“And I will learn to help you.”

“I couldn’t give you a normal life.”

“I’d rather have you anyway.”

He opened his mouth, but you instead told him, “I’d rather have you than anything. As long as, well, for as long as you’ll have me.”

He raised his eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

“Positive.”

Tony shook his head with a smile. “Cause, I’d rather have you for, well, how does til you get tired of me sound?”

You laughed. “Won’t happen. But, sure.” You kissed him again.You would’ve kept going, but there was something to settle first. “By the way, Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Is Friday recording right now?”

“Friday records everything. It’s in the contract.”

Friday added, “I record everything that happens in the tower.”

“Ok.” You could work with that. “I’ll forgive you for the invasion of privacy.”

Tony beamed, and you couldn’t help your own smile when he did. Still, you continued, “On one condition.” Your own smile turned devious. “I want evidence that Star Spangled Banner took my ice cream.”

Tony burst out laughing. He kissed you again, a deep kiss, and when he was done, he mumbled, “God, I love you,” against your lips.

#tony stark x reader #tony stark imagine #tony stark oneshot #tony stark #mcu x reader #mcu imagine #mcu oneshot #tony stark fluff #im so sorry im not on here oftennnnnnnnnnnn #dentla schools too busy and i dont wike it #thats not true i do like it its just busy and stressful and doesnt give me time to write #and smut takes me longer to write than fluff #so i can only write fluff rnnnnnn #anyway i miss you all #love you all #hope the universe treats you welllll

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hurdlehoops · 4 years

Text

SPN did Market Research for Dean & Cas

Disclaimer: Yes this is a sock for safety reasons. Post is long, but please read it.

No shit there I was checking my email, as you do, and I saw I had a screener from one of the market research groups I’m signed up with. On average, I do a market research thing every 3-4 months because I like non-reportable money. And giving my opinions. And talking to people behind 2 way mirrors without having to go to a police station.

Market research itself was early December, 2016. First email contact with the screener was late October or early November.

I see it’s an “offsite,” meaning a market research company is subcontracted by another company who wants to do the market research at their own facility, but doesn't want to find the participants on their own, so they use the Market research company (in this case Schlesinger and Associates) as an intermediary. I can’t remember if this screener identified itself as being for TV, not all do, some might identify only as entertainment, and some might be even more vague until you get into the screener. Regardless of the identification for the screener (TV or entertainment), I fill out almost every screener I receive unless it’s obvious, from the subject, they won’t want me (ie looking for certain types of professionals)- it didn’t matter, then, if the subject matter was something I particularly like, I would’ve filled it out anyway.

After normal, but more detailed than usual demographics questions, the screener asked about TV habits. Eventually, it said the word “fandom” and asked what TV fandoms I’d count myself in. It was roughly a list of 20 shows and listed “fandom” (defined as I watch every episode and read additional materials about the show. Note this is not what fandom itself would consider fandom, but people most fandom dwellers would still count as GA). Beyond fandom, one could indicate they: watch all episodes but don’t seek out more, watch most episodes, have seen some episodes, watched a few, or haven’t watched. (I just got a screener for soap operas and realized that part was the same and made note). Therefore, fandom, to corporate, are people who watch everything and maybe buy some swag for the show- magazines/shirts. Then, they asked about conventions I might have attended. And then asked about my dream vacation, so I babbled a lot about my dream to go to SDCC (I hadn’t at this point). Supernatural was on the list of shows, so I made sure I answered the essay questions about it, because why not? It was my favorite of what was listed. It was a long screener. I don’t remember the rest. Though sometimes I might remember a detail if a screener reminds me of it. Most fun screener I’ve filled out.

A few days/weeks later, I got a call for step 2- the phone screener for the people that sounded good when filling out the form. And where they try and make sure your answers match or fit that same person who answered them. I passed step 2, and was told there would be homework, and asked ifI’d have time for it, since I would only have so many days to watch the assigned material and write essays about them.

Homework arrives: I have to watch and write essays on all the bonus features of Supernatural S10. There might’ve been something in there from another year, too. And all the bonus features from some season of Big Bang Theory. Essays for all of it, too. And I mean essays, not short answers. It was like the SATs, and I was analyzing blooper reels (among other things). I still don’t get why they wanted essay questions on blooper reels, but I’ll always happily write one again cause that was the funniest essay to have to write!

I had to both print and bring and email all my answers ahead of time. I did not keep them. I’m honestly curious what I might’ve written.

So in December, I get to go to WB’s market research department. Fun fact: the entrance to that building faces what had recently been the Supernatural poster. I check in. At this point I think it’s a group. Because most market research is done in groups. Also they said I was there for the “DVD bonus features study”

I wait in the lobby, but I’m surprised there seem to be very few others around. I don’t think I got there too early, but all the others were taken back before me. And they didn’t seem to be there for the same study. Oh and I wore business casual clothes but had some show-based earrings for fun.

Finally a nice lady brings me back to a room. She turns off the lights and gives me a fancy remote and has me play with a new system for watching bonus features. I had to start with BBT. Then we did something else. Then I was allowed to scroll through and I picked Supernatural, and answered all the things. By this point I figured I would be released soonish because I was supposed to be there only for an hour. And this was at least half an hour at the most. No clock, though and cell phone off. Maybe this part went faster than I remember, but it was less interesting so it felt longer? Or less interesting compared to what came next.

We switch gears. I’m no longer allowed to pick what we watch and talk about my thoughts on if SDCC panels belong in bonus features. (Me: should have a preorder and you get to watch it when the season airs with DVD to arrive when season ends. Silly to watch it after the season when it’s mostly vague spoilers for the first episode or so). Obviously WB doesn’t listen to me about everything.

Oh! In the screener as part of normal demographics, I was asked about my sexuality. It isn’t completely rare (I can talk about another market research where you had to be queer to be part of it), but there were some short answers about representation or something similar. Something that is significant *now,* but at the time I didn’t notice as being too weird. Since they probably had me listed to the people behind the mirror as X (if they even got my name) Y resident, bisexual, age. I very specifically said stuff to her about representation cause I wasn’t gonna miss my shot.

Anyway so we switch from dvd extras and she queues up video from another file.

She puts a scene of Supernatural on and has me watch. Then repeats it. And asks questions about my opinions on what’s happening. Then has me watch and only pay attention to Character D and tell her what I think his emotions are. Then again but with Character C.

Complete torture… lol… at this point I’m confused, but enjoying this torture.

So there I am watching the Crypt scene over and over and analyzing it. And talking about their feelings.

And then I stop her and say something to the effect of “look I’m bi. There’s not a lot of good representation on what being bi is like. But from episode 1 I’ve known Dean is Bi.” And I babbled about how important a macho badass but closeted character is for representation. And that I hoped they did more with that. I included some anecdotes from other lgbtq friends and straight allies and how they all felt as I did- Dean is Bi, Cas is whatever he wants to identify as, and we felt we recognized our experiences on the screen and hoped for continued and louder representation.

Bam. My interviewer was called out of the room by the people behind the mirror. Suddenly I’m getting a whole new set of questions

Like this is the most baffling and amazing thing that's happened to me in years. It imprinted in my mind, and I haven’t mentioned it to too many people, because of the NDA and being afraid to jinx things. But now I don’t feel like it matters to be as quiet. Obviously I don’t want WB to go after me but... market research isn’t unusual, just mostly used for spin-offs or new shows not for plot points of shows already happening. At least, that’s my understanding.

The interviewer comes back after a short discussion with whoever was behind the glass. Asks a few more questions

We’re now very much going into various things about what I’d just said. I took my shot. And apparently it paid off big time. At some point she’s pulled out of the room again and given a paper with more questions. Some were about Dean’s bisexuality, or how I, and anecdotally my friends, saw him as bisexual. Others were about the potential romance. None, that I remember, were about Castiel’s sexuality- I guess that was a given or not important.

I don’t know if any of the writers were behind the glass from the beginning, but I felt like they stalled to get someone there, maybe.

The interviewer was baffled and made sure I knew nothing that was happening was normal. They wanted to ask me more questions than they usually care to get out of their market research volunteers.

So those are the most important parts. Basically almost everything I was asked after that was about character analysis and queerness and a whole bunch of other things that were related (I also mentioned needing more disability rep, too). I was back there for at least 2 hours.

#supernatural #spn #destiel #deancas #castiel #dean winchester #misha collins #jensen ackles

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends.

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well.

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling.

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in.

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either.

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @hacker-ghost @itsminniekat @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @the-fuck-up-of-today @slashersdream @chiefwombathoagiepizza @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01

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crowbird · 2 years

Text

Baji's Conclusion Makes Sense Actually And I'm Tired of Pretending It Doesn't

Crow's Note: Okay, this is a bit of a rant, bit of a dump, but I need to get this out of my system here and now and I do actually have a point to make, I haven't seen anyone post this here before so just gonna do it myself and then. But this deals with spoilers from the end of the Valhalla arc onwards, so I'm putting it under the cut.

I've seen some people say that they think that Baji died prematurely in the narrative and to some extent they are correct he died to young, he died to soon because he was a fourteen year old kid and how that's a bad thing but I'd argue if anything it's to the narrative's advantage.

Because baji died young we fundamentally lack the most direct perspective to Manjiro's childhood. We only get to see him through other people's perspective we had enough time to be invested in his character and enough time to care about his character but that was cut short to a certain extent, we will never get to know him as well as we could have because he is dead, he died prematurely and he died and was frozen in time.

It's like how we never know if Emma was even still alive in the future to begin with. Those characters are frozen in time and the only chance we have of knowing them better is inherently unreliable and I think that's a strength of the narrative rather than something to be critiqued.

Call it a personal pet-peeve if you will, but as much as I genuinely love fix-it-fics... I am of the personal opinion that a lot of the ones centred around baji do him a disservice. Not all, but a lot of the ones I have read.

The best way I can explain why I think this bothers me is to use an example of one of my own drafts, though I wouldn't call it a fix-it. Because even if those sort of fics if you are even vaguely trying to follow canon that doesn't mean there aren't consequences and that there isn't still the ever pressing theme of socioeconomics looming over us.

For reference, the entire fix it fic is that two people are stuck in a timeloop within the timeleap and one of those people is Kisaki, not really because I like him but because that's the most interesting option given the sort of story I want to tell but we don't have time to get into that, and the reason they're in the timeloop is because the world has functionally fragmented around them so to their own actions and trauma, it's a fix it fic to some degree but not inherently, because by the nature of one of the protagonists it cannot function fully under that umbrella.

What I feel like a lot of baji fix it fics do, is intentionally or not, water down the impact of baji's place in the narrative.

The point of his story is that he never got to grow up, and that he was the reason for toman's existence in the first place, him and kazutora both and because of the both of them he never got to grow up, the entire purpose of his existence within the story is to illustrate the extent of gang idolization among other aspects of his character, it's not just that oh the soft himbo who likes cat's didn't get to grow up, it's this kid who has hopes and dreams didn't get to grow up due to a chain reaction of events, maybe we should look at what those events are and why they happened and what ideology lead to them happening in the first place, because then we could understand what lead this kid to his death so prematurely.

it doesn't matter if he could have lived in the original timeline, we don't know that and we don't need to know that, and if we did know, and he didn't die, that it would devalue the impact of the Valhalla arc as a whole.

And I'm tired of people acting like the story is worse for it. Your favourite character is dead, it's sad, okay moving on now. Now this could entirely be because the vast majority of Baji fics out there is aged up smut fics which is just a little gross, not that they exist, but that they are the most predominant type of Baji fanfiction because like, I mean he is a child, and before someone starts calling me a Baji-Purist sur the fuck down, no, I am just incredibly sex-repulsed ace and I find it kinda weird due to that fact.

Also the whole Baji-Purist debate is stupid and all of the arguments are made of wet paper, there is a discussion to be had there and yet no one seems to get what the genuine underpinning issue is or if they do they all have different definitions of it.

That's not the point of this post.

I'm just tired of people acting like Baji's Death was detrimental to the story as a whole, if anything it elevated it. I miss him to, but for the love of god can we please acknowledge that sometimes a character's arc ends with them dying.

all works related to some form of published and copyrighted media showcased on this blog are fanworks and i do not own the source material that being said do not copy, modify, translate, claim, or repost my work to any other social media platform, same goes with using it for asmr audios, please do not use my work or i can and will reformat your anatomy

I'll proof read this later

#yes I'm also talking about draken #tokyo revengers brainrot #baji x reader #crowbird's storytime #analysis with the bird #tokyo revengers analysis #tokyo revengers meta #baji keisuke #keisuke baji

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