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abigailmoment · 6 months

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"I'm worried about fucking things up between us. He's...words. Words," Tav muttered, making absent come-hither motions as if trying to summon the right ones. "Delicate's wrong. Maybe fragile? Fragile like a smokepowder bomb. But that's wrong too. Wounded. But that's not enough. It's like he's walking around with a bunch of scabbed over stab wounds. But he's had them forever and he's so used to them he can walk around, and backstab people, and laugh. But they're still there and they're fucking stab wounds and I can tell when they're being jostled."

"Do you know how he got them?" Halsin asked.

"Parts of it," Tav said. "I am making plans to commit murder when we get back to Baldur's Gate."

Her eyes flicked up to Halsin's face to make sure there was no judgement there. There wasn't.

"I have lists," she continued. "Of possible tactics. Notes. Diagrams. Some doodles." Full text below. Full text on Ao3.

Halsin walked into the woods until the sounds of the revel had faded behind the sounds of leaves. Then he settled comfortably, leaning back against a birch tree, and just looked out.

The colors of the forest were muted in darkness, but it was alive with shapes and sounds. The protecting spread of branches above, and the stars peeking down between them. Cricket chirping and owls with opinions. The world sounded green and alive, and that was very wonderful. Just being present here was like a blessing after so long in a dungeon.

It was hard to say how long he'd been sitting, almost slipping into reverie, when he noticed a pattern in the movement of the animals around him. There were a lot of them heading east. A fox passed him. A racoon. Another fox. A pair of hedgehogs complaining to each other about how two-leggers were always making such a fuss of noise about nothing.

The party he'd left was southward, so this would be something else bothering them. Investigating such disturbances was so much a habit for him that he barely thought before standing and walking quietly west.

He heard the hard crunch of boots crushing leaves--someone moving rapidly and with no thought to noise. He approached the sound and found Tav. No longer at the party, she was pacing back and forth between two trees, muttering to herself. Occasionally she stopped and said 'Fuck!' very quietly but very sincerely. Then she resumed pacing.

Halsin waited, but she didn’t notice him. He took another step and intentionally found a branch to break underfoot. Tav started and her eyes snapped towards him.

"Hi," she said, eyes wide. "I'm sorry. Was this...were you using these woods? I can move."

Halsin put up his hands. "There's green enough for everyone. I just happened by. Is something troubling you?"

"I. Uh." She raked her fingers through her hair once. Twice. "I'm in trouble."

"I see.” Halsin had a few guesses about the kind of trouble that drove one to pace and mutter in the night. ”Do you want to speak of it?"

"I. Maybe. That might be..."

She hesitated. She started pacing again. Got three steps and stopped. She was worrying the base of one horn with her nails. Finally she seemed to come to a decision and turned to actually look at Halsin.

"If you had to pick, out of all of my companions. With whom do you think it would be the worst idea to get..." She made a mixing tangling motion with her fingers, and eventually supplemented the gesture with the words: "...emotionally involved?"

"I feel I would need to know them better to answer confidently," Halsin said.

"That is a thoughtful, charitable sort of a thing to say," Tav allowed. "But I bet you don't actually need that. I'll give you a hint. It's NOT the woman who could set me on fire with a hug."

Halsin took a moment to consider, but based on superficial observation the answer did seem obvious.

"Astarion?" he guessed.

Tav clapped her hands together in a pantomime of celebration and then pointed her fingertips at him. "You're good at this game. Your retroactive prize is being saved from goblins."

Halsin smiled slightly. "I'm glad I guessed right."

"Yeah, me too." Tav sighed. She was rubbing her hands together and staring off to one side. "We were flirting. It was a game. About saying stupid, over the top things that we both knew we didn't mean. And he had all these great-awful pickup lines and we were getting more and more dramatic. And then. And then he looked at me and he said 'I love you.'"

Her hands were in her hair again, raking over her horns. "And he did NOT mean it. But my heart did that little thump-thump-leap thing LIKE he meant it."

She stared hard into the dark woods, hands tangled in her increasingly wild hair.

"And that is a PROBLEM," she whispered.

"Is it?" Halsin asked.

"Yes." She snapped, eyes focusing back on Halsin. "Yes, that is a problem. Because the things I have to offer are effective group management techniques and limericks. And if I lose my head over the most mother-would-not-approve albino bad boy who is part of the team I have to handle I will stop being an effective group manager. Then all I have to offer is limericks. And they ARE magical limericks. But they still aren't going to save the realm from the Absolute. Which is apparently what we need to do."

Then she had to stop because she had not paused to breathe for that entire paragraph. Her hands were moving again, nails raking over her horns to the point where Halsin was concerned she might hurt herself.

So he reached out to take her by the hand and shoulder and suggested with gentle pressure that she might sit down. They ended up cross-legged in the grass. A much more stable and grounded position. Tav exhaled slowly, and looked up at him.

"Hi," she said. "Sorry."

"There is nothing to be sorry for," he told her. "It seems you are taking a great deal of responsibility on to yourself."

"I've read a lot of epic legends, Halsin." There was something haunted in her expression. "I'm really starting to think we're in one. I think the things we do here are going to have some far reaching consequences."

"I see," he said. And he supposed a bard would know. "Very well then. Grave as they may be, let's set aside your responsibilities for a moment."

She seemed very gesture-prone, so he decided to illuminate this advice with motion. He moved his hands, as if gathering his responsibilities up into a bundle. He carefully set them down to his left.

Tav seemed wary to the point of intimidated by the prospect of setting her responsibilities aside, even metaphorically. But after a moment she imitated him, and she did so with all the buy-in of someone whose arcane magic was partially based on improv. It took her quite some effort to get all her obligations wrapped up and when she shifted them to the side it was with a little huff of effort. Halsin couldn't help but smile.

"How do you feel?" he asked when she was done.

"Scared," she said. She was fretting her fingernails in the same way she'd been fretting her horns before.

Halsin rumbled in an understanding way, but didn't say anything.

"I like him," Tav continued after a moment. "A lot. He's fun. He's sharp and interesting. And talking to him is like playing. And he's mean, but that's fun too. And he's VERY pretty."

She dropped her head to the side, as if she needed a moment to recover from just how pretty he was. Then she rubbed at her eyebrow.

"And sometimes...he's sad. And then I wish I were a wizard so I could just incinerate everything that makes him sad."

Halsin nodded. "I believe there are scrolls for that."

Tav's eyebrows shot up and she looked at Halsin sharply. "Did you just...are you enabling me? To do an arson?"

"To protect people you care for?" Halsin asked. "Most certainly."

The surprise melted away and she smiled slantwise at him. "I suppose I should have expected that after seeing you maul half the goblin camp."

He nodded, and it was a pleasant moment of mutual understanding. He let it lapse into silence so that she would start to fill that silence again with her fretful thoughts. She did.

"Do you know how he got them?" Halsin asked.

"Parts of it," Tav said. "I am making plans to commit murder when we get back to Baldur's Gate."

Her eyes flicked up to Halsin's face to make sure there was no judgement there. There wasn't.

"I have lists," she continued. "Of possible tactics. Notes. Diagrams. Some doodles."

"Could your plans use a bear?" He asked mildly.

Tav laughed, and it was loud and startled and genuine. "Yes. Fantastic. Always. I'll incorporate you into my ideas and daydreams."

The laughter did her good. When it finished the thread of tension loosened and her shoulders had relaxed a notch.

"I probably don't need to worry about hurting him with this," she said a little ruefully. "He's not serious. This is a game for him? Or a ploy? I'm not sure. Whichever. I'm the only one throwing her heart around like an idiot."

Halsin, who had been at camp long enough to observe some of the dynamics between the companions, decided not to comment on some of the assumptions she was making. He just made a thoughtful noise.

"So I guess that just leaves me scared about, you know." She flicked her fingers over her sleeve, removing a bit of dirt with affected casualness. "Getting hurt myself."

"It can be a frightening thing. To be the more loving one," said Halsin. "But it doesn't need to be a bad thing."

Tav hummed in a prompting, curious way. Halsin considered what he was about to say, and decided this was a reasonable time of have an opinion.

"We give each other what we can in the time we have," he said. "You have a gift. You have love for another person. A man who, from what you've said, could very much do with being loved."

Tav hummed a little more softly.

"That's nice," she said. "That's a bit of poetry."

"Pardon me. I know it's not my profession."

"Naw." Tav shook her head. "Anyone can be a bard. Just don't be surprised if I steal your words for lyrics."

Halsin opened a hand and offered his palm. "They are freely given."

"Boring," Tav complained with a smile. "I wanted to steal them."

"Well then." Halsin closed his hand. "I take back my permission."

"Good. Thank you." The smile had wedged itself firmly in the side of her face and remained even as she sighed. "I guess I'm already fucked. It's not like you can fall out of love. Not while we're spending every day together."

She covered her face with her hands and said much more quietly: "And I do not have the willpower to say no to the sex."

Halsin nodded and made a noise of deep understanding. Eventually, Tav peeked up from her hands.

"You're really good at listening," she told him.

"It is an important part of being an archdruid."

"Thank you."

"Please let me know if you ever need to be listened to again."

#astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion x tav #astarion x oc #halsin & tav #talking about feelings #Tiefling Revel #halsin is exetremly emotionally intelligent #pining #sort of #astarion isn't actually in this one #but it's almost entirely about him #don't tell him he'll get a big head

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mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 2 months

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Went To Check Rooster Teeth Site (After Seeing A Post On Here...)

[Note: Reading This Optional...also this is not for kids, but for mature audience readers only, even if this post isn't super mature but is still meant for Mature Audience Readers Only. ]

yeah, decided to check out some Red Vs Blue Fan art and I saw a post that wasn't really fan art but it kind of gave that whole not great feels...

I decided to open up a new tab to check on the site, and it seems okay. when I'm able to and get around to it, I will log on there and well I could probably even watch the new episodes on there even when not log on...on the site it says that new episodes of Camp Camp is coming every Friday and it seems that Season 5 is already up on Rooster Teeth Site, I can't wait to watch the new season of Red Vs Blue.

in my option, RWBY should get a few more seasons, where it focus on each member, first Ruby when they fell into that wonderland type place and next will focus on Weiss, then Blake and at some point Yang, before giving all the team some form of neutral focus with other characters in the finale volume, which might be like Volume 13.

I hope that Rooster Teeth stays for a super long time, cause well with the whole stuff that goes on in this world, and it doesn't help that some parts of the Toxic-Masculinity played a part on that whole Covid-19...that is still a twisted form of justice that is suppose to "teach" humans a lesson, if Toxic-Masculine is involved, it would just teach me that it isn't just humans that can be violent and do some messed up stuff...still gonna at least try to pray for the one who might be influenced by the Toxic-Masculine to be healed and detoxified.

I still want to call dibs on Mammon's butt to kick, he probably freaking knows why....same goes with my wanting to give Lucifer the whole cold hands to face punishment.

I wonder if some people have gotten emotionally tired with the bull slag that goes on with the Toxic-Masculine, well also with the Toxic-Feminine as well, but once again, the Toxic-Masculine is at a bit of higher level and wasn't really properly fixed.

and yeah, that whole post I saw didn't really seem okay with me.

it's bad enough that Covid-19 had happen and pretty much messed things up, even if the post wasn't meant to be bad, ya know in a way that would cause bad feels but was meant to be I guess some kind of memory honor type way, which would still be sweet in a way...

but I hope some understand my feelings.

also besides the whole women international day and month, maybe there can be a Nonbinary Day, a day for the different type of Nonbinary.

wait, is there already a day like that...? even if it isn't on the official calendar. I mean of course with how some humans are, it wouldn't be on the official calendar, but we can still be thankful some do celebrate it.

and well technically that whole women's month, would also be a day for Nonbinary-Women as well, so there is that...

maybe I should try not to worry or let that post I saw get to me, and hope that the thing that was said, NEVER happens.

but I do hope that there can be a Nonbinary Month, and if there is already, I hope to find it and see it for myself.

anyway, I don't want my feelings to be misinterpreted, I might not be the only one who didn't feel great when seeing that post.

I'm not gonna say much about the post, like some stuff that it said and well it might be for the best, I mean with any luck some of the info might be not true and it could be a misunderstanding...

I can just hope that my talking a bit about it and my feelings don't get taken the wrong way, I mean of course it would make me feel not great and well hopefully things will get better.

I already feel ashamed by one of my Royal Ancestors former subjects, well maybe only ashamed of only half of them.....for certain reasons.

and I have another reasons to suspect that Toxic-Masculine might be involved in a certain mess, which I'm not gonna say what it is, and no it doesn't mean I'm talking about Rooster Teeth....that could of been hinted when bringing up Royal Ancestors and their former subjects.

well hopefully things work out, ya know for both that and the whole Rooster Teeth thing.

also in theory in a Alternate Universe, Rooster Teeth could be called Hen Lips. yeah that is a weird thought, but that name could work in a parody way as well as being a hypothetical gender-swap universe where Rooster Teeth is called Hen Lips.

anyway I'm gonna go to sleep, been up for some hours and it might be a good idea for me to go and get some sleep now.

I can come back on later or tomorrow and post some fan theories and post some fan art and even check out some fan art myself.

and maybe check to see how many have voted so far on that second poll I made on here, that has to do with the different versions of Megatron. maybe for my third poll, I can make one about Red Vs Blue or maybe about how many may think it is canon about the whole it's the boy angel that has the baby in Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, being like in Fairly Odd Parents where it is the boy fairy that has the baby, even if it is the Girl Anti-Fairy that has the anti-fairy baby.

well it is still interesting to find out it is the male seahorse that has the baby, so the whole guy angels being the ones who end up being pregnant would still remind me of Fairly Odd Parents...we wont really know for sure if it will be canon in Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, but maybe some fans are suspecting it could very well be true, but will have to wait for some kind of confirming or debunking of that fan-headcanon theory.

Tucker and Kai might not end up together, even if they might seem a bit off and on, and Kai might not of fully figured out that she is bisexual, I mean there could of been hints that she is.

but it could be possible that in Red Vs Blue, they could end up together...maybe?

maybe Junior would get his own spin-off series, he could deserve it.

if I ended up finding and touching some energy sword in real life like Tucker did, and some Alien who is called Crunchbite tried that whole get me pregnant so his kid can inherit the sword...

I would have that said Alien marry me, cause I would not let my little prince or princess be born out of wedlock even if that can still be optional...and yeah if that whole situation with Tucker did happen to me, the offspring would technically be a descendant of royalty.

if Crunchbite had ever survived, and possibly faked their death.

he could be made to marry Tucker, well even if it would just be in the Fanon and it's not like some fans wont end up shipping Crunchbite x Tucker...not sure how Omega would react if he got in my head, he will either be too freaked out by the weirdness part of it, or he will end up finding the not so great sad feeling parts and will find the memories and not so great feelings I had when I had those two depressions.

and if Omega did end up getting linked to those not so great feelings and memories, he would likely lay down on the ground or in bed and hug his knees to the chest which would technically be my knees and my pronouns are she/her and they/them...

it would be safer for Omega to not go to that part of my mind, if he thinks Doctor Gray is scary, then the not so great feelings from before from my two depressions I had, could be overwhelming for Omega, even if he is a Epsilon Memory Copy of the Original.

and I know I rather not end up feeling like that whole depression feelings from that first one in 2015 and that second one that happen some time later, which it did suck falling into a second depression.

and I really rather not go into a third one, the whole having the down feeling days every once in a while is more tolerable in comparison.

anyway here is hoping RWBY does get 13 Volumes in the future, and Camp Camp gets 29 Seasons, and there being a really awesome spin-off series of Red Vs Blue in the future that will have Junior as a main protagonist along with any other future characters.

even if it is wishful thinking, but if if the whole Junior getting his own spin-off series doesn't happen, there is always the fanon that could make such a spin-off happen.

anyway I'm just gonna go to sleep now, I might be back on later or later tonight or tomorrow, or whenever I'm able to.

so see ya later, and once again I hope my talking about the other stuff in this post that had to do with Rooster Teeth doesn't get misinterpreted, I mean I do have some right to my own feelings like both positive and negative....even if some people have misinterpreted some stuff I said before in a super wrong way that had caused my feelings to be hurt....I'm trying my best to do better about that, so there can be less of a misunderstanding of what I say...

so when I do log back on, I might talk about some fan theories about either a show or movie or cartoon or video game...

but for now, I'm just gonna go to sleep...

#do not reblog without permission #mature audiences only #not for kids #rooster teeth #red vs blue #camp camp #rwby #talking about feelings #my thoughts #march 2024

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lilybug-02 · 9 months

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1 am type things...

Man i'm always second guessing my Deltarune comic. I love it to death, but sometimes I think about how its gonna end... and then I swish it in my brain like water and it slightly changes. And then there's the prospect of Chapter 3 and whatever definitely coming out before I finish... and then I think about if i actually like Deltarune at all for some reason??? and then i think about how odd my art has changed over the course of it. and then i think what I'm gonna do after i finish... because I've been doing this stupid comic way OVER a year.

....But i'm not giving up on it. That I know...

Okay im gonna go pass out now

#bread #deltarune chara timeline #vent #talking about feelings #i would maybe draw these feelings but im way too tuckered out for that #sometimes you just gotta type #sorry u guys are my comic venting blog now -w-

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not-me-underc0ver · 2 years

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(Tony trying to get Peter to talk about his feelings)

“Didn’t the Constitution ban cruel and unusual punishments?” Peter said, leaning back in the seat with his arms crossed.

Tony narrowed his eyes at the teenager, “Peter, you need to talk about this kind of stuff.”

Without missing a beat, “I’m safewording.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “It isn’t healthy to just ignore your trauma and hope it goes away!”

Peter blinked once before narrowing his eyes, “Isn’t that exactly what you do?”

“...This is not about me.”

#peter parker #tony stark #irondad #iron dad #mcu fanfiction #the world is built for two #talking about feelings #sarcastic peter

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tss-grimmverse · 8 months

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Chapter 8: Gladiolus

Roman learns some disturbing things about his father, and he and Virgil finally talk.

Want to start at the beginning? Here’s the AO3 link and the Wattpad link.

An excerpt from Chapter 8:

They’d nearly reached the top of the staircase. “Was he awful, Red?” Roman asked quietly. “Just tell me; I can take it. I already know he abandoned my bio mom and Smile, and nothing I’ve heard so far has improved that image.” “Johnny was…difficult,” Red allowed after a moment. “How do you mean?” Red sighed. “I won’t sugarcoat it. We all had our inner demons to fight, but his were more vicious than most. His faery master fed on pain. I still believe the bastard used Johnny’s powers to control their other changelings, which broke him on a fundamental level. He was fickle, moody, prone to violent outbursts, hated any kind of commitment, and he enjoyed…” Roman swallowed hard. “Enjoyed what?” Red grimaced at his expression. “The thing you need to understand about Johnny’s history with this house is how deeply he hated faeries.”

The whole chapter can be found over on AO3 or Wattpad. The boys aren't completely hopeless at talking! And Roman has only learned the tip of the iceberg...

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polarisbibliotheque · 3 months

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You are currently one of my favorite DMC writers! I love re-reading your stuff because it always puts me in a good, comfy mood! I just adore how you portray casual intimacy, too. It just seems so gentle and natural. I also love your portrayal of the boys. They always feel like they have a depth and soul to them, which is amazing!

Thank you so much for sharing your gift and your creativity! While I'll always eagerly look forward to your next piece, know that your older works are still regarded fondly 💖

And here I am today, 2 a.m, Carnaval going hard in Brazil, sitting here and smiling stupidly while re-reading your message.

Thank you very very much, anon. From the bottom of my heart.

I've read your wonderful message the day you sent it, I think it was earlier this week - maybe Tuesday...? I couldn't answer it before, but it came right in a day when all hell broke loose in my home and this made me smile so much. It really felt like a safe port.

I'm not gonna get into too much detail because it's very personal - but, you know, family fights. Between all my mom's siblings, involving lawsuits and home evictions threats. I was just fucking fuming the whole week, and I almost put on my full Axl Rose attire and side of my personality to literally drop-kick and suplex some 6ft tall man built like a brick house because someone has to put some sense in his head.

I'm starting to sound like Nero

To top it all, this gave the opportunity for someone in my family who abused the hell out of me for more than 10 years to come back like a freakin' death omen.

I did end up going to therapy dressed up as Axl Rose for Carnaval, but it's so close to my usual style no one noticed it. I count as a life-win.

I still don't know what I'm feeling, (I talked to my therapist, don't worry) but that fucking threw me off everything. I don't know what to do about this, about this person, I'm scared and angry at the same time - and I got so SO overwhelmed, I had to get away from everything.

Social media, exercising, drawing, writing, reading, just living like a normal human being. The only thing I've been able to do is listening to music, because music has always been my safespace.

The only way I could explain how I'm feeling to my therapist, is a scene from a Julia Roberts movie, where she forged her own death to get away from her abusive husband, only to be found in the end by him and have him go like 'you're never going to get rid of me' and the fucking horror in her reaction - that's it. That's the feeling.

I have this dreadful feeling that I'm never gonna be rid of that, of all that abuse I want to leave in the past, until this person dies or I die.

Amidst all that, along came your message in my inbox. It felt like a ray of light in a dark stormy skies. A glimpse of hope that things can be better and that people are good. That I can have that experience as well.

Whenever I write about some more sensitive subjects, I hope it can be seen as a safespace for people - right now, for instance, my survival instincts that have always been alert have gone berserk, and the gods know how much I needed to feel safe enough to hug someone and ask for protection.

Vergil is ominously standing in the distance, staring back with the resolve of Achilles in the field of battle to get Hector's ass

I don't have that, but I can have it through fanfiction with characters, I think, would understand it. And I hope I can give the very same thing to other people who also don't have that sort of support and need to find it somewhere else.

I'm happy to know my writing has the good, comfy vibes I always try to convey! Despite the death, blood and dismemberment

And I wrote all of this so you can understand how thankful I am - and how much your kindness and nice words are so much needed in this world.

So, once again, thank you. Very very much.

#polaris speaks #polaris answers #answered asks #anon ask #asks #it feels weird #talking about feelings #but ya know it's good to do it #have to remember that #I'm also being very vague 'cause I'm scared as hell the person I'm talking about reads it #they don't know I have this blog #they don't know it's me #but I'm so not taking any chances #I am SO happy I never shared this with anyone in my family #anyway #I am very thankful for the kind words #this anon message really held me together this week #my little chaotic axl rose ass with anger management issues hahahaha #is very thankful and pleased while listening to chaotic music :)

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lopsushi · 2 years

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Wait, then Wukong knows that Macaque is the "mother"? He would do something? Like trying talk with Macaque? Even It is just to say that he doesn't have to go in secret to met their cub<3

Oh for that one! Yes Wukong found out Yán Hào is his and Macaque’s son when he saw his cub use shadow teleportation. Also he tried to talk to Macaque on these secret visits multiple times and each attempt failed because Macaque was ahead of him with his ears. So it was hard and Wukong couldn’t leave Yán Hào alone to look for him in the city so that was out of question too. Don’t worry though Macaque would have to talk to Wukong when something happens to him that involves on getting capture and taken to talk to Wukong’s enemy. To talk about revenge on Monkey King.

#struggling dad monkey king #ask #macaque and Wukong are complicated #they try their best #they’re not go at talking #talking about feelings #they love each other though

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threebea · 2 years

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What about TMA Archivist Quinlan corruption arc featuring best friend Lonely-One Obi-Wan Kenobi. Is that too niche?

Quinlan with all-seeing eye powers finding Obi-Wan in empty lonely desert. Obi-Wan hugging his bestie and pulling him back from unending knowledge and darkness.

#obi-wan kenobi #quinlan vos #quinobi #quinobi qpr #cuddling in a cave #talking about feelings #murdering dooku #just soft stuff like that

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girl-with-her-dog · 1 year

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this medication thing is mad.... I'm totally fine today but I also kinda wanna k*ll myself...

#mentalheathawareness #talking about depression #talking about feelings #talking about it #medication #fucked up #depression

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vien0w0 · 2 years

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How are you doing :D?

that is a very good question!!

i'm currently trying to get an appointment with a psychologist so that i can get therapy and help for my issues, i started school again and i'm in the art program. uhhh,,,, i moved out of my mom's place! i have my own apartment and i have two roommates, they're both from Russia and super kind, they tolerate my ramblings which is nice! i've made plenty of friends at school, it feels great to finally be around people like me

quackity lore stream fucked me up pretty good, again. but it has only renewed my want to write and create fan content. i watched Sandman, it was great. i have finally gotten over the fact that Technoblade is gone, still miss him a bit tho. aaaaaand i've slowly eased myself into taking commissions.

so i'm doing sorta ok? trying to keep it positive. thanks for asking!! i never really get to talk about this stuff

how are you, feathered creature?

#vienowo's ramblings #talking about feelings #i like to talk about stuff #please do ask more #like legit i answer the weirdest shit

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powerbottomeminem · 2 years

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Nicolas looked him in the eyes, perhaps a gesture that was little easier now than before. Irises black and matte as always, drowning in pain and melancholy and weariness glimmering in them. Today was not a good day, not at all.

"Do you wanna talk?", Marshall whispered, lips moving clearly. The touch of their fingers was too important to cut off.

Slightly shaking his head Nicolas declined the offer.

"Don't bottle it up", Marshall continued, "Makes things worse." Something he was intimately familiar with. If he'd been honest with himself for all these years, he probably would've saved himself a lot of pain. Instead he pushed everything down until the pressure became just too much.

Nicolas shrugged, in all likelihood having done the same for equally as long. Not with the angst of being gay but the subject really didn't matter. Misery was the same.

With soft assurance Marshall squeezed his boyfriend's hand, still holding and still trembling. "Take care of yourself", suddenly these words made all the sense in the world. Seeing Nicolas hurting from the inside, these words were the only thing Marshall could try to help. He bit his lower lip with affection and embarrassment.

A smirk on Nicolas's thin lips, not as mean as usual but slightly amused and with a little love around the edges.

Relieved Marshall responded with a small smile of his own. "I'm here, I'll listen." He may not have good advice to give but often that was secondary, for him at least. Being listened to, being taken serious, being believed had its own value.

"The job, no worry", Nicolas answered with his husky voice. Still too important to hold hands with each other.

"That too", Marshall answered, "Whatever's going on, I'll listen. I'm here for you."

"No need", Nicolas shook his head again.

He sighed, getting tired of this game fast. Of course Marshall understood the impetus, not wanting to be seen as weak or feel weak by giving words and reality to pain. Playing a kid's game, what you couldn't see wasn't actually there. Doing the opposite from being strong. "You're always there for me when I feel down or freak out or whatever", he spoke carefully, not too fast and not too big so his boyfriend would catch most of his words. "And it's good, it helps. You help me. Now let me help you, let me be there for you. That's what boyfriends do, ain't it."

Closing his eyes, Nicolas sighed too. It was annoying when other people were right, undoubtedly.

Marshall squeezed the other's hand encouragingly.

But the hand pulled away, annoyed and sullen Nicolas signed: »I can't get it up, okay! You can't fucking help, let it be.«

…

A snippet from my story "Love Is Ǝvil".

#writerblr #am writing #fanfic #adorable boyfriends #hand holding #honest conversations #talking about feelings #relationship struggles #sex struggles #love is evil fanfiction #eminem #nicolas brown #ao3 link

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mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 3 months

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Hazbin Hotel Theory: Lucifer & Adam Share Grandkids (Thanks To Cain) And Alastor Is Half-Angel...

[Note: reading this post is optional...this is for Mature Audience Readers Only...DO NOT read this until ya watched all of the episodes of Season 1 of Hazbin Hotel, that goes from the Pilot, Episode 1 To Episode 8. there will be some spoilers that will be discussed in this, I will try not to talk about all of them, but the theory is thanks to Charlie's Adorkable Apple Goober of a Dad, and yes that is the nickname I came up with for him...I'm The Embodiment Of Weirdness. XD........also I had been having a bit trouble logging back in, I had to change my password, which I was having a bit trouble at first but it seems okay now, a few days ago in my last post, I notice a bit too later that I forgot to put a word and I want to go back to fix it, but I was not really able to....it didn't help that the internet connection kept going off and on and one of the reasons I had to log-off before, was because the connection kept going off and on and it was just making me really mad and well not really happy, even trying to make a new password for this was making me a little unhappy but I'm glad it is back to normal and hopefully it stays that way. also please do NOT reblog this without my permission. this post will also talk about some thoughts and feelings as well, so it will get a bit off topic as well.]

okay if some watched all of the episodes, they know the fight between Lucifer and Adam that happen in it, and Lucifer possibly trying to get Adam's goat by saying he did "snu-snu" (and if ya watched Futurama, you know what it means.)

better than him, with both Adam's First Wife (Lilith) and Second Wife (Eve)...

I don't know if Adorkable Apple Goober was just joking about Eve or if he was serious, I mean we do know that there is the whole who is Cain's Bio-Dad in our universe, which yeah Adam is still technically his Dad, even if not biologically related, but sometimes your real parent, and yeah in our universe, Adam was no different from the one from the show but at the same time he might of matured over time but still made mistakes as a adoptive father to Cain.

and yeah, I believe that both Cain and Abel were in the wrong, and if Abel wasn't so full of possibly vainglory and saw that his brother was sinking deeper and deeper into a dark place, which half of the reason could be because of the bad parenting of both Adam and Eve.

it could be possible as soon as Seth came long, they tried to do better and not make the same bad parenting mistakes.

and yeah, I'm a descendant of both Seth & Cain, I know I wrote down the numbers before when we had found out about it before...I can try to look for it later...

at least when their few generation later descendants ended up meeting and marrying, it wasn't too close to the tree...

but that still makes those two both Grunkle-Grandpas.

and yeah even though I can believe that Adam and Eve did exist, I believe it is possible there were OTHER humans besides them, and in theory there could of been different Adams and Eves in different garden sectors, but they could of went by different names.

Lilith was technically the First-Eve, and Eve herself was the Second-Eve.

Charlie's Adorkable Apple Goober of a Dad, made me laugh when he misspoke when telling Adam that he was going to "frag him"...of course the word wasn't "frag" but you know, the other word.

you know that rhythms with the word "duck"...

also the likely of what Lucifer from the show on what he was implying he did with Eve is true, that would possibly make him even more of being a suspect of being Cain's Dad, which would also make Cain the Older Half-Brother of Charlie...

plus if you look closely at Charlie's Full name, "Charlie Morningstar"

it spells out "Cain", like even if it wasn't on purpose but still...

here what happens when I bold some of the letters.

Charlie Morningstar, and when you take parts of those bold letters out, they spell out "Cain" and yes I'm just that weird to find that.

I mean Steven Quartz Universe has "Sans" hidden in there, can anyone truly blame some fans of both Steven Universe and Undertale as well as Deltarune, for thinking that Sans The Skeleton is the future self of Steven, even if it is his human half, and for all we know that rock that it suppose to be Sans's pet rock, is just his gem half turned to stone and it will need to be in that healing water that has the power from White, Yellow, Blue and Pink Diamond.

also if it does turn out that Charlie's Adorkable Apple Goober Dad, is in fact Cain's biological dad (making Adam both the Step-Dad and Adoptive-Dad)....I think if when I do re-watch the episode where Adam and Lucifer are fighting, I might be weird and chant out either in my head or in a soft way...

"Peepaw Fight, Peepaw Fight, Peepaw Fight!!!"

well, I still think the whole situation Cain is like a Jerry Springer type of Comedy...

Archangel Samael is but one of the suspects of being the Dad.

well whoever the Bio-Dad is, they still wouldn't be the boss of me.

I still think that Earth Angels should put up a protective barrier around the Earth, to protect her from the Toxic-Masculine energy that has been plaguing our Mother World for centuries.

and yes, if it were possible I would do a Omnigeddon if I lost my fluffy baby that is my second cat...

like I said before, the whole thoughts of starting "Omnigeddon" came to mind if anything went wrong, one of which may also have to do if my fluffy baby wasn't taken to the vet on time or if anything went wrong while they were at the vet...

I would go Feral Earth Angel if Abel ever got a certain idea if he tried that "offering" with my fluffy baby...

I would probably try to either give him the cold hands to face punishment or grab him by the ear....or slap him repeatedly on the face really fast, like how Ryoko from Tenchi Muyo was slap by Tenchi's Grandfather's Wife...

I get that animals play different roles, some do end up as food and some clothes, while some are animal companions that we end up forming a strong and emotional bond with, and we wish they could live a very long time and be with us forever.

I basically broke when my first cat was slowly leaving us, and I believe I know now what may have caused it....it might of been the same thing that almost took my second cat, and we were lucky to catch it on time and she was able to get surgery to help her.

and not everyone has to agree, but I still think Abel shouldn't be around Fluffy-Babies...even ones that are in the afterlife.

he shall not touch the fluff of healing bliss...so says The Eveningstar Earth Angel Princess...

yeah that nickname "Eveningstar Princess" is still weird, and it really doesn't have to do with Lucifer, I mean yeah there is that whole being a descendant of a few royal families, and I'm still gonna view being a descendant of King Solomon as a blessing and not a curse, it means I wont have to take that throne, even though I'm one of King David's descendants as well...but anyway the whole "Eveningstar" once again doesn't really have to do with Lucifer, who is suppose to be the "Morningstar"...

and we still have to be confused and amused by Charlie's Dad, when he throws the whole he did the "snu-snu" with Eve...

but yeah, like I pointed out before...the reason I got the whole "Eveningstar" idea, has to do with the weird stuff that went on when my Mom was going to have me, because apparently she never got Morning Sickness, nope...and like I may have pointed out a few times when talking about the weirdness that is what went on with my Mom when she was pregnant with me...

she NEVER got Morning Sickness, she only got sick during the Evening.........so yeah, she only got Evening Sickness.

I have no idea how many Moms went through that weirdness, never getting Morning Sickness, but only getting that way during the Evening....which we are calling The Evening Sickness.

and yeah, for all we know Lucifer and Adam from Hazbin Hotel, could share Grandkids through Cain, and well a bit of Seth too...

you know since Seth would still be Adam's Biological Son, and Cain while being Adam's Adoptive Son (and Technically Step-Son...)

and well if it is slightly like how it is in our universe, when both Grunkle-Grandpa Seth & Cain's respective descendants by a few generations end up meeting and marrying, of course that would cause the bloodlines to mix, and well thankfully it wouldn't be too close to the tree, I mean yes Gran-Gran Eve is still both Seth and Cain's Mom, but if they had two different Dads but had descendants that ended up meeting and marrying each other many generations later, than the possible problems of you know, that normally happens...will not be a problem in many few generations later, cause of the different bloodlines would have them be very less closely related.

I still rather be called "purple blood" rather than "blue blood" even if the whole blue blood thing does have to do with royal blood, but I still like purple blood better, because it means I don't just have royal ancestors, I know I went most of my life not knowing I'm technically a Princess....well same thing when not knowing about being a Earth Angel....and there is that whole Nephilim thing...

also thanks to Alastor, and well also a certain scene that Vaggie was in...

I have another theory, that I believe that Alastor might be a descendant of Nephilim....possibly, though I don't mind if that theory ends up being debunked and the idea that he is a descendant of Nephilim, ends up in a Fanon Timeline instead.

and yeah, part of the title for this, is also the theory about Alastor being Half-Angel....the "X" on Alastor's forehead that appears might not really have to do with Sinners, at least not fully.

Vaggie's "X" is visible, even when she's wearing a Eye-Patch.

the reason Alastor's "X" that appears on his forehead, isn't visible all the time and only so when he uses only half of his full power or goes all out, might have to do with the genetics of not just his soul but also his bloodline from when he was human and living in the human world.

in theory, if one who is human were the living in the human world but have a soul that was half angelic even being a descendant of Nephilim...

if they were to die in the living world and end up in ya know, Heck.

the "X" that shows the spot of their injury they got when they died in the human world, will not be visible all the time like Vaggie's...

this is possibly because Vaggie, could of been a Heavenborn and the year that she had supposedly died in the human world, was just the year she started to live in Pentagram City and when she first met Charlie...

and yeah, some fans can view Charlie as being Half-Angel, she does have her Demon form, but who's to say that she's can't also tap into a Angelic form, possibly merging two together like her Dad seemingly did with his own form when fighting Adam.

we still don't know if Charlie's Dad was being serious or if he was joking about having certain relations Eve.

even though it was funny how he was teasing Adam, it does make myself question if it will turn out that Charlie's Dad is in fact Cain's Biological Father.

it be kind of both funny, interesting and freaky if that turn out to be canon....but the chances of that might be very small.

but it might not stop some fans from using the concept in the Fanon Timelines, where it might not be Canon but we can still blame the Adorkable Apple Goober for the weird idea. XD

and yes, I'm still gonna call Charlie's Dad that.

I'm also still going to call Ozzie x Fizz, by the couple nickname "Adorkable Sweet Potatoes"

and well besides the weird nicknames for those three...

if it did turn out that both Lucifer and Adam, did share Grandkids...even if it is by only half of humanity...

picture the look on their faces when they realize they share Grandkids...of course in Charlie's delight, she might view it as her being technically a "Auntie Charlie"...

and yeah, even if it is only half of most humans that are descendants of Cain, would be well you know in a way, in fictional universe in possibly just in the Fanon Timeline as it might not end up being Canon in the Canon Timeline of the show...

would be the nieces and nephews of Princess Charlie Morningstar, even the ones that do end up being Earth Angels.

we will have to wait for the theory about Cain being Lucifer's son and Charlie's Older Half-Brother, to be proven true or not true at all to which it ends up being debunked.

I don't mind if it does get debunked, and once again it's Charlie's Adorkable Apple Goober of a Dad who is partly at fault for that theory about both him and Adam sharing Grandkids....even if it is like a lot of Greats in there and many generations later.

also ya know how a fan ended up accidentally predicting Deltarune Chapter 2...? ya know, with Kris and the Pie...which I still think there was more to that than just Kris eating all the pie, and I still think they might of broken into the Library first and open a dark fountain in the computer room, before they went back home and ate all the pie...

but yeah, what I'm getting at....is I think that the Fan Audio series, that is called "Arackniss" (same name as Angel's Older Brother)

that is by AxelGear...and yeah, that fan audio series is for mature audience only...

so yeah, I think that it could be possible that fan series may or may have not may have predicated Canon events, even if some of those events are still slightly different from what happens from that audio series...but when you remember what happens with Arackniss and have watched what happens to well Sir Pentious...

you might be all like how I am feeling and thinking right now...

that the Arackniss Audio Series by AxelGear, had somehow accidentally predicted canon that had not yet happen but did happen in Hazbin Hotel Season 1.

not everyone has to take it too seriously, but remembering what happen some audio episodes back in that Arackniss Audio Series, and seeing what goes down in the first season of Hazbin Hotel.

can anyone truly blame me, to be weird enough to think that just maybe AxelGear may have accidentally predicted canon future events without knowing it.

well there was some other stuff that has to do with Deltarune that had some fans accidentally predicting future events even if they were still slightly different, but when you see a Deltarune AU predict future canon in chapter 2, of course you are going to being both freaked out and all happy that it is canon.

one of them being that the Darkners do turn into items when they end up going to the Light World, but they go back to normal when they go back to the Dark World....and if they go to a Dark World that isn't their own, they will turn to stone.

also I need to say this, because Lucifer the one from Hazbin Hotel I mean...had misspoke what he was trying to say, that he was going to beat Adam up, but it came out in well...ya know...

well I can't help but wonder if one should ship those two...and if so, what would their ship name be...?

I wouldn't be surprised if Niffty did fan-art and fanfics about Charlie's Dad and Adam...if she wasn't busy with other things during what was going on in that episode.

well it is possible that Charlie's Dad might not only be a Adorkable Apple Goober (I'm still gonna call him that, it fits him too well now and there is no going back from it. XD lol...) but he also might be a bit of a Himbo...

also it could be possible that Charlie might be misinterpreting her Dad, and he might of been going through a very bad depression that has been lasting for 7 years possibly...

being in a very dark place in emotional way, isn't fun.

even if you still can be a little happy by both people and the stuff that makes you feel a little happy, that dark and unhappy feeling is still mixed in there.

and yeah, having a second depression after getting over the first depression not too long ago, is not a fun experience.

and yeah I did end up having depression around 2015 that lasted a few months, the stuff that was going on at home was a nightmare.

my personal space was not being respected, and yeah trying to write a fanfic that had to do with Ninjago, wasn't easy with people that were house-guests kept coming into the room I was in and wouldn't stop...and if I'm making a face, don't give one of them the right to be hurtful about it, because of that I had to go to the bathroom and cry.

seriously, that insensitive jerk couldn't understand the reason I looked like I was giving a dirty look, was because he and everyone else wouldn't stop coming into that room and give me my personal space.

it could be possible that the more your personal space is disrespected like way too many times, the more you might want it a lot more and could be a bit sensitive about it...

I'm not sure if it will be the same for everyone, but even if I can spend time with my fluffy-baby that is my second cat and maybe try to do family stuff with family, like maybe watching a movie together.

I still need a lot of time to myself, I mean maybe only a few can understand that, and for all we know, Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel, was deeply and emotionally hurt, and him being there for Charlie when she needs him, and him wanting to be there for her, might be a type of baby steps of the emotional healing process.

it is possible that Lucifer felt that Charlie didn't want him around, and it also could be possible that he might of been going through a type of bad day type feeling and didn't want to deal with Adam.

it's like when you feel not really good on some days, but we wont know if this is true unless we get it confirmed in the future.

and I can't remember if that second depression I had started around 2016 or 2017, but if it had first started in 2016, that was way too close after I got better from the one I had in 2015, which yeah it felt like the second depression lasted a bit more longer, and I think it might of been around December 2018 when I started to feel a bit more better, I think it was 2018 during that time...and well one of the signs I was getting more better, was how I was laughing when watching Boss Baby...which I think it was the Movie, and the show wasn't on yet, at least I think...

the point is that even if we have family, friends and stuff that can make us feel a little happy, we still end up having some pretty sad and not so great dark feelings.

I know that when that second depression was going on, I think my feelings were, like it felt like...to me it felt like I was in a half numb way, like the feelings were there but it was like half numb, it just seem that way every time I woke up.

and yeah, it might of been much earlier during that time, I wanted to punish the bathroom mirror but didn't, possibly because of both some form of willpower and knowing if I did, it wouldn't exactly be good.

Charlie's Dad, might of been going through a depression that was not only being caused by the Heaven from Hazbin Hotel's Universe, not listening to him, but also from Lilith.

I can agree that in our universe, Lilith was hurt badly, and she only became what she had transformed into, because certain three angels and Adam.

those three angels, might be doing good now, but they did more harm than good to Lilith, and they only ended up playing a part in breaking her emotionally and possibly others that only she herself can possibly know.

even if Adam didn't get his hands dirty, he should of not been such a selfish jerk, and just let her have some space.

it could be possible that if both of them were given space, they could of worked things out, and forcing her in a certain way, that has to do with what those three angels were doing, was a Toxic-Masculine move.

we don't know if Lilith from Hazbin Hotel, went through the same thing, that three angels were send to where she was and tried to get her to go back to Adam, even by threats.

no matter if it is from that universe or this one, that is NOT how love works.

you do not make threats, even what those three angels were doing.

and yeah I may be calling myself Neo-Spiritual now, well unless some might end up messing up the meaning, and hopefully that wont happen...

and yeah I started to believe in a Goddess now too, which happen a few years ago, which might be partly thanks to some books I got...

and I can still believe in God as well, so like believing in both.

and I know that not everyone has to believe the same as me when it comes to that, but of course there was that Toxic-Religious jerk that crossed a line and wouldn't stop throwing those misused words at me, just because I believe in a Goddess now.

well it might of also been about my having still been figuring out what type of Nonbinary that I am...I did thought I was something like a Gyno-Agender for a while...I'm sure there might of been some who were still figuring out what type they are, and not just me...

but yeah, like I had said possibly a whole lot of times before...

even though I did pointed out to that person, that they were hurting my feelings really badly and making me cry, they basically ignored it and kept throwing those words at me.

which I'm still gonna think that those words were being misused.

I know it was either "may god have mercy on you." or "may the lord have mercy on you." either way, how they were using those words ended up hurting my feelings really bad.

they weren't listening when I pointed it out, I wanted them to stop it, but they just kept throwing those words at me.

I had to block them over at the place where it had happen, and one of the things I am still gonna hope, is that I wont run into them here or any other places I go to.

I don't think all people who are religious or not at all, would pull the same stunt that jerk did, maybe only a few, but not all of them.

and yeah I might know the full story about Charlie's Dad Lucifer's depression, but it is possible he couldn't be open about it with his own daughter for the past few years, but might have to open up about what he was going through to her at some point in the future.

he seems fine now, after showing up a bit more for Charlie, but that might not mean he still wont have those not so good feelings pop up every once in a while.

and yeah it could be possible that Charlie's Mom, might have more to her than just seemingly being a good Mom...

we wont know whats truly up with her, until future episodes in maybe around Season 2.

and yeah even if the whole in Hazbin Hotel, Lucifer being Cain's Dad does in fact get debunked, it can still work in the Fanon where it's true...but it's fine when it does turn out it isn't canon.

but most fans or just me, might not let Charlie's Dad live that one down...

we already have some form of suspects about who Cain's biological Dad could be, but it is like a mystery...which some have questioned for who knows how long...

well in this universe that we live in, once again, no matter if it is Lucifer or Samael, they still ain't the boss of me.

and if I was able to, I would still want to give the Lucifer from our universe, the cold hands to face punishment...

because maybe instead of doing all that fighting, they could of tried to fix the balance between the Masculine and Feminine energies, even if the balance is a little more better now...but we still have that Toxic-Masculine flying around, and it is lucky that the Toxic-Feminine isn't as high or as dangerous as the Toxic-Masculine one...

and well that aside, what is shown in episode 1 of the first season, reminds me of some stuff that has to do with Masculine and Feminine.

what we know as "Hell" was possibly not always so, and it was in fact part of the possibly "Earthly Queendom" but because of the dangerous levels of maybe both a Toxic-Masculinity and possibly miasma, her once beautiful place of paradise was corrupted and was at some point, taken over by Lucifer and the Other Embodiment Kings and well Queens, since in Hazbin Hotel, Bee and Bel are Female...

but it might be very unlikely that the same situation we have, will be the same in Hazbin Hotel or even Helluva Boss.

yeah the book "Stones Of The Goddess: Crystals For The Divine Feminine" by Nicholas Pearson, that not only talks about the Divine Feminine and Goddesses, but also has different type of gems...

well it might not be everyone's cup of tea, and it's okay that not everyone takes a interest in it, and if some do, it should only be of their free will and choice that is their own.

some of the chapters that have the different gems in it, has each of them have info like Magickal Uses, Elemental Signature, Astrological Signature, Goddess Archetypes and lastly Formation Process.

and well, I'm trying to use some other forms of magic myself...

well besides the whole using my gem bracelets to protect me from energies that might be harmful to me (of course even when I still wear them to bed, I have to have a dream-catchers for extra protection...) and also using them for sealing charms and limiters because of that freaky stuff that started to happen when I started to use the pendulum a bit too much...

because of the whole freaky thing that happen when I hold a bottle of pop by it's lid and it starts to move like my pendulum, well either that or a pen...and there was that time when the program broke once, because I took one of the gem bracelets off, because it was becoming a bit too snug.

so I had to re-do the whole praying and use the food salt on the gem bracelets and make sure that even when I have one or all of them off for a long period of time, they will still work.

well the spell I found is kind of a work in progress, and I am thankful to the person who made the spell, and even if I'm still having a bit of trouble in getting it to fully work, I'm going to try my best and keep trying...I hope I can try again later tonight, I did try before last night, but I was having some trouble getting to sleep after saying the spell, and I even tried to say it more times...

the spell has to do with traveling to other worlds, and well the info about the spell is that it can be temporary, like I know I did write the info down on paper, and well even the side effects that shows signs ya need to try to go to sleep...which for me, when trying to do the spell again, it was hard for me to get to sleep...

there is a reason I'm trying the spell, but I can talk about it another time.

and well back to the theory about the whole Lucifer and Adam from Hazbin Hotel, possibly sharing Grandchildren...along with the whole Alastor possibly being a descendant of Nephilim.

yeah, it could be possible I'm a descendants of Nephilim as well, which would mean that some humans who are also Earth Angels, are descendants of them as well...

I'm not even sure if some do have different blood types that don't need to be RH Negative, but I know that I'm kind of the same type as my Mom...well I'm not 100% sure if she has the "D" in there or not...

I still wish we haven't procrastinated so long to see if my blood type will come out the same for a third time, but hopefully we can finally get around to it this year.

I'm still gonna view myself as a Defective Earth Angel, cause I don't think I work the same way most do, even if not all Earth Angels are the same, but I know I'm a Defective type, and there can be reasons for that, and not just bad past life experiences which I'm glad I don't have fully memories, and it's okay not to have full memories of past lives...not everyone has to believe in past lives or believe it can leave some form of trauma.

okay back to the whole Adam, Lucifer and Alastor theory.

it could be possible that Alastor might be going through some pretty heavy stuff, and my theory about him being a descendant of Nephilim, can be separate from what is going on with him and why he was missing for 7 years according to the episodes that bring it up.

which it being 7 years, also lines up with how long Charlie's Mom hasn't returned her calls...

even if Alastor might say he was going through some kind of vacation, but I think it might be possible he was possibly held hostage by someone who technically is more powerful than him, and who has him as a puppet on strings.

I'm not sure if this theory is true, and it's okay if it gets debunked...

but I suspect Charlie's Mom Lilith might be involved, possibly being the one who is pulling Alastor's strings...she is already suspicious.

I'm not sure if Alastor might be going through PTSD because of his experience that happen for 7 years in the Hazbin Hotel Universe's Timeline, but despite how he behaves and all smiles, and thanks to Rosie, he shows adorkable side to himself...

even though I might not of been always Aroaceflux, but for all I know I could of always been but not know it, I mean I can be Fictoromantic as well, and well with my now ex-boyfriends I had online before, but I have no interest in trying to get a new one...and well I can't help but wonder if I use to be Demiromantic, but I'm not 100% sure.

I think it was before figuring out I'm Aroaceflux, that I don't like it when a guy becomes clingy in a bad way, even if there could be a cute way...but he would need to respect my needing to be left to myself, same as family and friends would.

even if my Mom might not fully get why I don't like being touched at times, and I'm okay with it sometimes...

yeah, your family might think it's funny to touch your foot but you might seem like your enjoying it when it tickles but it doesn't mean you fully do so...plus there is the whole being scared really easy when they surprise hug you from behind...

and yeah as strange as it might be, whenever I'm in the kitchen and a male family member ends up in the kitchen too, my thoughts are "don't touch me." even if it might not of always been that way, but that is just how I am now...

besides that depression in 2015 that I had, and besides getting my foot hurt and it took some time to heal.

I also had that panic attack in the car and ended up hitting my head while inside of the car...and even if I was able to get better control now, it doesn't still mean I wont still worry about what caused me to go into a panic attack in the first place.

and I still might have a bit of Semi-Androphobia, like even if you can have some guys you can trust, either it be friends or family or both.

you still might want to be on guard, because of what you learn about some dangers that can happen or from a bad experience from your childhood that was from something that really happen or one of those warning dreams that just end up causing more harm than good and it traumatized you and even when you forget at first because your mind ends up suppressing the memory, even when you remember it years later and try to talk to your family about it, they will just end up making you doubt it and it being a bad dream...

I can't remember how old I was when that bad experience happen, and if it did happen in real life, then it still wouldn't be okay...

even if it was lucky it was just a kiss, but it was normal for me to find boys gross, just as some boys should find some girls to be gross as well, that is perfectly normal.

but if it was just a warning dream, it was really messed up and the bad experience made me block the memory until I remembered about it later on.

it could be possible one of the reasons I got into that panic attack in 2015, was because of them...the one who made me want to hide in the bathroom to cry, after they couldn't get that they and everyone else was disrespecting my personal space...

and even if I and other fans might not fully get what Alastor is going through, but for all we know, he might end up having a really bad panic attack in the future, I guess it would be a surprise if it was Vox who would have to calm him down and have to get him to calm his breathing and not hurt himself when going through a bad panic attack.

I know I hurt my head on the inside of the car when going through that panic attack in 2015...I remember a bit of it, but I know I didn't like waiting alone in the car, even if we were getting ready to move.

I still don't like being alone outside in the car, even if I still have to go inside some places at times, but other times if I don't feel like going inside, I don't go inside...but not having anyone outside waited with you...chances will be that you might not feel great about it.

and it could be possible that Alastor could have certain triggers that could reveal that he went through a very bad experience, something that he wishes not to talk about or let others know.

not sure if Alastor would have Semi-Gynophobia, but that might not be likely, like he could be fine with other ladies, either it be nonbinary-girls or those who are binary...he could just be scared of only one woman, a woman who possibly forced him against his will into a contract he never wanted and took him 7 years to get away from the said woman that now still technically owns his soul.

it is possible that Alastor while possibly forming a type of bond with Charlie, also sees her a way to get his freedom back.

and there could be different soul contracts, which in theory one of the ways another form of soul contract is form is through a type of kinship or like a bond that doesn't have to do with one or the other having ownership of the other party's soul.

while certain contracts have the whole chains, like what it shows in Hazbin Hotel Season 1...

a mutual soul contract where the bond is different, and it is more of a partnership, rings are involved, of course this is just a fan theory.

the said rings will be energy based just like the chains, and will appear in different colors, depending on those who are involved in it.

the rings will appear on the fingers that is the place you put the wedding ring on, which I guess for some, they could have it on their left hand.

while not really having to do with being married, but it could be a choice for some who go down that type of soul contract to go through the whole getting married along with or later on after they form the partnership of their soul contract...

and I guess it could be seen as a type of soul-tie, maybe...?

plus no matter if it is platonic or romantic, a mutual partnership in the soul contract where rings are formed instead of chains, could be seen as a very big commitment, because it could be similar to a soul-tie, but still possibly different.

one could only know if someone is under a soul contract through partnership where the parties don't own one or the other, but are partners, if one or the other ends up summoning their ring having it appear before those present. I might talk more about this type of soul contract theory another time.

not sure what else to say about the whole possibility of Adam and Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel, sharing Grandchildren...for all we know even if it were true and if it were canon, those two would be clueless.

I just think it is a little amusing, and Adorkable Apple Goober is still at fault for the theory popping into my mind in the first place.

and for all we know, Alastor could still end up being a half-angel, both in his human life and even in his afterlife, and we might find out more about what happen with him for 7 years in Hazbin Hotel Universe, and why he was missing for so long, we might not find out right away but we might in the future.

anyway maybe I will talk about the whole weird ideas and theories about Lucifer and Adam from Hazbin Hotel, maybe another time.

there is a ship drawing I want to hurry up and post up next after this.

not everyone has to agree about the whole theories I talked about in this, even when I got off topic.

Alastor's "X" on his forehead having to do with him being a half-angel in both his human life and even to his death and afterlife, is just a theory, even about him being a descendant of nephilim too is just a theory, and it's okay that some fan theories get debunked and just end up in the Fanon Timeline instead. :)

#do not reblog without permission #not for kids #mature audiences only #hazbin hotel theory #goober #grandpa #lucifer hazbin hotel #snu snu #adam hazbin hotel #cain and abel #alastor hazbin hotel #nephilim #talking about feelings #my thoughts #february 2024

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