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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 1 year

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Beauty and the Beast ~ Darkling (part 4)

A/n: thought about this during work to get through a difficult shift and had to write more, so here it is!

Word Count: 5200+

MASTERLIST

- The Dark -

Y/n was losing patience. The whole drama with Makya had reawakened Y/n's eyes to a horrible truth: time was running out. He may still be young, but he had aged enough that he was expected to marry. To make a family. Old enough now that he would soon run out of options.

Did that bother him? One day eventually his father would pass away. He couldn't run this farm completely by himself... although, how could he form any kind of lasting romantic relationship? He had such a huge secret, and keeping it from his distracted father was one thing - but his life partner? The person he made a future and a home with?

Did he even want to marry right now? Did he want to even pursue a relationship in this place he hated, full of people he couldn't stand who thought he was good looking but an idiot? If Makya was the only one going after him... maybe that was a sign. But what other options did he have? He couldn't leave. Not yet.

Not until Alina got ahold of her powers.

And see that was the problem. Because it was becoming obvious that she wasn't just learning slow - she wasn't growing at all anymore. Y/n had lost drive to give energy for their training anymore.

Alina didn't miss his lack luster non-attempts.

"Could you at least pretend to be paying attention right now?"

Y/n looked up to see a frustrated Alina, her eyebrows pulled together and her lips pressed in a thin line of irritation. It was the softest glare Y/n had ever seen, but he could tell that she was either on the brink of snapping his head off of his shoulders with her teeth, or bursting into tears, and he wanted neither to happen. Feeling guilty, he put his book away. "I'm sorry. It's just..." His words trailed off and he swallowed, shrugging.

Alina rose an eyebrow. "It's just what?"

A frown pulled at Y/n's lips and he looked at her head on. If he was going to teach her, he had to be straight forward and honest. "You're holding yourself back." He rose an eyebrow. "Like something is making you hesitate."

That made Alina back down, because she knew he was right. She wasn't ready to admit it though. Not really. The effort she gave was appreciated, and even somewhat truthful, but it had the feeling of a symptom rather than the actual disease. Smaller. A side effect; not the problem. "I mean I've always been told people like me were cruel and evil. Every story with a Grisha is a warning, and every Grisha hunt is the best tale and every Grisha execution is a celebration." She sighed.

Y/n nodded, considering that. "Are you afraid of getting caught," he began. "Or are you afraid of what you're capable of."

When Alina looked at Y/n now, there was a bit of fear. Not like she thought he would attack, but like she had been seen more than she wanted to have been. "I mean we're all afraid of being caught aren't we?"

It was answer enough. Not because of what she had said, but because of what she hadn't. "Do you want to talk about it?"

It was Alina's turn to consider. "Yeah." She finally let her hands fall to her sides and she moved to Y/n, sitting down next to him. She had been trying to summon the bright light she had only managed to conjure in small bursts - at best, fleeting moments. It always flickered and it took everything in her just to keep it dimly alive, even though it was about an inch in dimension.

She had made progress though and Y/n tried to hold onto that. Learning something new wasn't easy, especially when it was something like this. Something that got into your head and weakened your power with doubt and fear and anxiety. This seemed the case with her specifically.

Y/n's eyes found Alina in the quiet that began to stretch as she avoided talking about it after she had just said she wanted to. He refused to prod her through, forcing her to keep it going. She looked at him mournfully, as if he were torturing her. "What?" There was a bit of a smile in his voice when he spoke and she glared lightly. It only made him smile more.

Alina sighed. "How did you do it so easily?" Her change in subject let Y/n know that she hadn't actually wanted to talk about it. Or, perhaps she had but she wasn't ready to. Y/n let it drop, sensing her need to move on.

"I didn't do it easily," he admitted. That seemed to surprise her. "Hey I've been at this for ages. I've had time to practice, and my skill isn't as obvious as yours. I read and read and read, and then I experimented for all of the things I couldn't find out. I found out that I could boost our crops, and ever since we've been first pick for harvest time shopping. Our animals are strong and never get hurt. Even my father, who's getting on in age and whose professions and hobbies are dangerous and leave him often injured, doesn't have any problems that last long. He heals fast and is well off physically, even at his age." He shrugged.

Alina seemed awed. "You just keep this farm perfect and running all by yourself huh?"

Y/n scoffed a laugh. "Hardly. It's not perfect, and my father does help here and there. I'm young, and that means I'm strong and have more energy, but he still by far outweighs my experience and knowledge. Even now he has to intervene sometimes when I don't know what to do. He couldn't do it by himself either - it's our combined effort that keeps this place going. That's why... as he gets older..." Y/n pressed his lips together.

Alina could see the thoughts in his mind. "You think you'll need help with this place one day."

Y/n nodded reluctantly. "There's only so much I can do by myself anyway. When harvest time comes, my father does help. When it comes to getting rid of the old animals and raising up the younger animals - he helps me with that too. Not because I don't know how to handle it but because a farm this big? It's impossible to do every single thing by yourself."

"Maybe Mal and I could help one of these days," Alina offered. "We do other things for the community, it could help. To do other things as well."

Y/n offered an appreciative smile, but shook his head. "Being a farmer is a 24 hour, full time job. Mal is too busy too often. He likes going out into the Forrest - they are his adventures. His escape from society. From this place. And..." his smile softened. "As much as I appreciate the offer... Alina-"

"I'm not much help." She nodded. "That's fair." She hesitated a moment and then asked, "then what will you do? Rent with someone?" She hesitated even more. "Marry?"

For a long time, Y/n was quiet. "Not here."

Alina watched him, but he was suddenly guarded, so she couldn't read him at all. "When do you leave?"

Y/n closed his eyes, sighing. He seemed a bit defeated. Perhaps guilty as well. "I... don't know."

"What stops you?"

Y/n's eyes opened, but his head tilted back so he looked up at the ceiling. Through it even, as he grew lost in thought. "My father. He would... miss me. And this farm - it means so much to him."

Alina hummed. "So you'll give your dream up for him? He won't be around forever."

"But I also don't have forever to wait," Y/n cut in, a tad frustrated. "And at the same time, I don't want to look forward to my father passing away." He seemed to remember something, and Alina thought it might be painful. "I love my father," he said oh so quietly, and Alina winced. Nothing she'd ever heard started like that if it was good. "He loves me too." Even worse. "He tries his best and succeeds in a lot of areas. I'm glad he's in my life."

Quietly, Alina prompted, "But?"

Y/n didn't deny it was coming. "But..." His shoulders slumped. "I hate it here. I hate this stupid small town and the people who look at me and see someone I'm not. I know what they say about me. I know how they talk about me behind my back. Makya was not the first person to simplify my worth down to attractiveness."

At that, Alina rolled her eyes. "Makya is an idiot."

"But not the exception," Y/n shot back. "Everyone in this town is an idiot, I swear to god." He finally looked at her, and then his hard look softened again. "Except maybe you and Mal." His eyes shone, and they exchanged a smile. Y/n sighed, looking away. "Why don't we end it there today? We can pick up again this weekend. The next few days I need to spend on the farm again."

Alina nodded, collecting her things and rising from the table. "See you this weekend." She messed up the boy's hair on her way out and Y/n chuckled as he watched her go. The smile lingered as the door closed behind Alina, and then a moment after, but slowly began to fade.

The emptiness of the house was too heavy. The previous conversation had set a stone boulder in his chest and he was not handling it well alone, with the ringing silence.

He went to bed early that night.

The next day was as he had said - focused on his duties. The routine and mind numbing, physically exhausting work was good for him. He got to blow off steam, and then see his progress and feel a bit better. He didn't feel as frozen in place. As stuck.

As trapped.

Well, that was a lie. He did feel trapped. By straw and wood and memories and loyalty.

He tried to distract himself from that. And he mostly succeeded.

And then the stranger came.

Strangers never came to their little corner of the world. Y/n knew every single face the second they had a face to know. The second they were born, or moved in, within minutes Y/n knew them. So to see a fully grown man who wasn’t in the least familiar? Running up to his house? In the middle of the day, when no one was here and everyone was usually at work anyway?

This couldn't be good.

The man looked ragged. He limped, a scrape on his cheek and his hair twisting wildly in wisps. He was older, and his eyes were miles wide. As he got closer Y/n realized he was shaking. His suspicion was overwhelmed with concern. He approached the man, more wanting to help than being cautious. His heart had always been his weakness.

"Sir?" Y/n began, hands out in front of him as he paused, unsure how to even help.

"Y/n," the man said in response. Y/n froze. The man was unfocused, and his voice sounded hollow, but it was unmistakable. He was being addressed. "Are you Y/n?" The man asked when he got no response.

Y/n jerked to a sudden start again. "I- yes. Do we know each other?"

The stranger suddenly focused on the young man in front of him. "Oh, you wouldn't remember me. It's been... decades, now, I suppose. I knew you a long time ago. When you were just a lad. Barely born, couldn't even walk or talk yet." He almost smiled, but then his eyes watered. "Your mother and I-"

Y/n felt suddenly very uncomfortable. "You know she's dead then?"

The man nodded. "I helped your father. Move away and find somewhere new. Somewhere very far away and hidden. I helped him run."

Y/n felt a sudden, horrible feeling rise into his chest. "Why are you here? Who are you?"

"My name is Phillip," the man eased. His face was crumbling. He was agonized. "Your father and I used to be business partners. But then he went into hiding, so-" he shrugged. "But for this trip, he came back to me. He asked for my help again."

Y/n closed the distance between them in a breath. He grabbed the man's lapels. "Where is my father?"

The small, old man looked up at the boy with so much regret. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." his voice was small and weak and the horrible feeling grew.

Y/n used all of his self control not to scream or shake the man as he wanted to. "Where," he tried again. "Is. My. Father?"

Phillip's lip trembled. "We were discovered. He knew if he was caught it might lead back to you. So- he ran."

"Ran where?" Y/n demanded.

Phillip whimpered. Y/n's hold on his coat tightened. "Where, Phillip?" His tone did not leave room for kindness or stalling. He needed answers and he needed them blunt and immediate.

The poor older man coiled away from Y/n, but not in fear. In regret. "Into the Fold. The only place they would not follow."

Y/n lost his grip, his lip hands slipping from the other man's coat. He looked away, the horrible feeling exploding in a massacre until only hollow aching was left. His father was dead. Y/n turned away, eyes closing. He'd have to marry now. Spring was coming soon, they had to prepare. He couldn't plant everything by himself. He didn't have time to sell the farm or make plans to leave.

And his father was gone.

Y/n covered his mouth. Or, he tried. As his hand rose Phillip caught his wrist. "He only went because there is a chance of survival."

Y/n looked at the crazy old man. "No one has every survived the Fold."

Phillip shook his head. "Walking through the Fold is near impossible. A long journey and no luck if even one spots you.” He didn’t have to specify one of what. “But if you can remain silent, and move fast. He has done it before. Many of those desperate enough have. Stories you don't tell in case anyone finds out. In case anyone tells the King - a guaranteed hanging. The King wants no one to know it's a possible journey. He controls travel, he controls everything if he controls who can and can't cross the Fold."

Y/n's mind was reeling. "So my father might be alive."

Phillip nodded quickly. "I came to get you- he needs a healer."

The blood in Y/n's body turned to ice. "I'm not a doctor."

The old man looked at Y/n with knowing eyes. "Your mother knew, when you were born. She was, of course. And your father. They knew you'd be, and your father - well he expected what kind as well. Cause see, he was a Durant. So good with mending and fixing and molding metal. And your mother - well she was a Tailor. Working with the body, they knew you'd pick up one in some way. And then, he was always healthy and all the plants and animals here thrived so well. He knew you found the scrolls she left for you. That you learned. He never spoke of it. Didn't want to tell you- but he told me, you see-"

Y/n stepped away. "How do I know any of this is accurate? You could be lying."

Phillip shrugged, and suddenly he looked exhausted. "Your father is hurt at best," he sighed. "What do you have to lose?"

And... the man had a point. Y/n's jaw locked and his eyes narrowed. "Take me to him."

The rest of the day was packing. He left a note for Alina who would be back soon and then left it on the table. She could sell the farm or handle it for him, he didn't care. He was going to be gone.

Maybe forever.

He told her too, that he was going where she could not follow him. He didn't tell her where or why, but not to follow him. Not to bother. Either they'd survive and that would be the end of it, or they'd die and it wouldn't matter anyway.

And then they were off.

It took three months. In that time, Y/n and Phillip got to know each other quite well. Y/n liked the man. He had lots of stories about his mother and father, and clarified so many things that Y/n didn't know.

There was only one he really needed though.

"Did he really kill her?"

Phillip's lips pressed together. It seemed he had also heard the rumors. "It depends on who you ask," he answered carefully.

"I'm asking you," Y/n answered evenly.

Phillip nodded. Fair enough. "He did." He sighed, smiling softly. "He was so talented. So amazing. Everyone in town kept his secret, as he was the keystone of the place. Kept everything up and running, and had magic hands. It was fascinating to watch him. And then, one day she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It went wrong, very wrong, and... we didn't have a healer. Not yet." He shook his head. "She didn't make it, and he blamed himself. The whole town turned on him. Blamed him for it too. This man, he had wanted your mother instead you see. And he said that this was proof that Grisha were dangerous. Evil." Phillip paused for a moment. "We almost lost your father that day. And you. So he ran, and he hid, and he swore he'd never use his small science again. But, he didn't know how to work metal without his abilities. It was against his nature. Against the very way he saw metal and knew how it worked. Nothing did what it was supposed to the way it was supposed to. He's Grisha. He was made to work metal like one."

That... made a lot of sense. Y/n didn't speak much after that conversation, but he already hadn't been saying a lot and Phillip didn't seem to notice. He liked talking and that was fine with Y/n. He had always been reserved and he was still in denial. He had hope and he was willing to fight for his father with his blood if he had to. They'd both make it out of the Fold. No matter what.

When they got to the camps, suddenly they had to he a lot more careful and move a lot slower. Y/n didn't notice - he could finally see the Fold and... he didn't have words.

Drawings and stories did not do the thing justice. There was no way to truly encapsulate the experience of looking at solid darkness, undisturbed by even sunlight. Darkness swirled off the edges of the barrier, rolling into the air and disappearing like mist. Or smoke. It was wild and breathtaking. Y/n knew it was dangerous, and horrible things had happened inside it. He knew it was why humans hated Grisha so much, what it stood for. What ruin it held for his kind.

But god, it was beautiful too.

Y/n had always found Grisha to be extraordinary, and the Black Heretic to be an extension of that. Now looking at it in all its glory, there was something even more about it. This wasn't just small science. This was magic. The cost had been horrendous, but the way it bent nature and refused to be tamed... Y/n couldn't deny that he found it kind of inspiring. Who cared about what non-Grisha thought? Of course they feared something that they couldn't control. Couldn't defeat.

Crossing that threshold was even more insane. Getting past the first army was only too easy. In the last half year since the incident with his father, they had regrown lax. They had forgotten. And soon enough they were forgotten too, as Phillip prepared Y/n for what they were about to see - and then went inside.

It was like closing a door and sealing off a room. The sun disappeared as they were swallowed by the darkness. And... well, it wasn't as dark as Y/n had previously thought. It was definitely poorly light. It was hard to see at first, but once his eyes adjusted it was like walking around at night with a weak candle. Fine enough.

The limited light was a sort of greyish, with hints of blue. Y/n had heard of the special blue lamps that had been created by Grisha. They were always destroyed when found, but were apparently able to pull on the blue light that was created in the Fold, expounding on it and growing enough to actually make it easy to see. Because it built on what was already in the Fold, the volcra wouldn't attack immediately. Not unless they could tell that you were human. They couldn't hear your heartbeat or smell fear, but they did have a gift for picking up sound. If one could be quiet enough...

"There's a place," Phillip wrote out in the soft dirt under their feet. It was hard to see, and he had to retrace it several times, but it worked eventually. "We hide there."

When Phillip took Y/n to the place, Y/n about slapped him silly. When he had said place, the picture that it had conjured was some hole in the ground they'd dug out, or some kind of bunker. This wasn't just a place. It was a castle. Like, a proper palace.

Place.

Palace.

Y/n almost slapped his own forehead, and only stopped himself because dying now would have been stupid.

Once inside, Phillip started to make noise again. Which made Y/n jump, as in the last two or three days - without the sun he really couldn't tell - it had been so completely silent between them. "No worries," Phillip eased, chuckling as Y/n flinched again. "The castle has always been a safe place for Grisha."

Y/n blinked twice before he finally put it together. "You're a Grisha too?"

Phillip smiled. He extended his hands, flexing a his fingers, and suddenly a huge gust of wind ripped through the still air, blowing across Y/n's face and ruffling his hair. He couldn't help himself - he grinned. All of his stress and exhaustion eased away as, for the first time in his life, he got to see a real Sqauller in person.

As if to follow it up in an act, or maybe compare in a sort of you-show-me-your-I'll-show-you-mine, Y/n hands pressed together and then pulled apart, hands sliding through the air. Phillip gasped as he suddenly looked down at his leg, eyes widening as the wound there healed instantly. It had been older, Y/n could tell, even before they began traveling together. The mark on his neck had faded into a scar unfortunately, so Y/n couldn't touch it up, but he did heal Phillip's arm as well. It had gotten hurt while they were sneaking past the first army. Phillip had tripped and slammed his arm against a rock.

Phillip grinned as his skin sealed again, moving his arm and flexing his fingers to extend his muscles. Experiencing the little science in all its glory. “This is amazing,” he whispered, almost reverently. His eyes, bright for the first time, moved back to Y/n. There was something so personal and warm there. Something wholly and completely adoring. Y/n blushed. It was nice to be seen for who he was. To be appreciated for it.

There was a sudden feeling. Something colder on the wind that wasn’t moving. A third breath they could hear, except they couldn’t hear another breath. But it was like that - as if realizing that someone else was there. Or maybe just that there should be. Neither could tell what it was that made them feel so less alone in an eery, startling way, or which eyes made the hair in the back on their necks stand on end, but suddenly all joy was drained from both of them. Y/n swallowed, hands lining up as he focused on being ready to heal Phillip. If anything attacked them, his squaller abilities would be their only hope.

Then Y/n heard his name. It was soft, around a cough. Confused, distant, and weak. But familiar.

“Father?” Y/n choked out, eyes watering immediately as his fork broke and he raced to the source of the noise. Phillip called after him, warning him to be careful. Warning him to slow down and walk carefully. Warning him not to leap before he’s looked. But it was too late - Y/n was racing down stairs and down long tunnels, blind to how far he was going. Not thinking about how impossible it would have been for such a weak voice to have reached his ears this far, when he was in the entry room with the long ornate hall, and now he was racing down down down down… to the heart of the palace.

Into the dungeons.

He recognized them from art and story descriptions, though he had never seen such a thing in person. It wasn’t colder or wet like in the stories, but it was gloomier. Nothing but metal bars and worn down walls as far as Y/n’s eyes could see. He stilled, heart racing and eyes wildly trying to find any sign of life. “Father?” His voice was full of desperation and agony. He sounded on the brink of going mad. It was a plea for mercy from the universe more than it was a call to the man he was looking for.

The universe responded.

“Y/n?” A breath of relief, strong and all consuming slipped from Y/n as all te tension left his body and he raced to the last cell at the end of the hall. He turned, and his heart filled with joy upon seeing the old man. Y/n’s father did not seem happy to see his son though, as horror filled his eyes. “What are you doing here?” He demanded.

“I’m here to get you,” Y/n explained softly, kneeling to be at the right level for his father. The old man was laying on his side, curled up, and had propped himself up on an elbow to talk. Now Y/n reached out, cupping his cheek. Despite himself, the old man leaned into the touch, sighing in relief. Y/n softened. He knew that his father hated being alone, and that losing his mother had been something deeply effecting him. He couldn’t imagine what his poor father had been feeling, thinking he’d never see his son again either. “Let’s get you out of here.”

The old man’s eyes went wide again. “No.” He pushed his son’s hand away finally. “You need to leave. Leave me here. Go!”

Y/n’s eyebrows wound together. “I’m not leaving you here.” It was a curse. It was a bad word. An accusation. How dare his father even suggest a thing? “How did you get in here? Let me get you out.”

“You want to let him out?” Y/n froze. There was that third presence again. The one that made his skin crawl and his anxiety shoot sly high. But this time it was distant and weird. This time it was a sound. It was a proof. A voice in his ears, weaving into his body and injecting into his blood - turning it into ice. Laying over and settling into his bones - locking them in place. He was more stone than flesh and bone when he heard that low, calm voice. The smooth voice that was unbothered by the emotional reunion and couldn’t have possibly been here. The cold calm and collected one. A voice that asked a question, except it was so obviously a challenge in reality.

His father was shaking. It was that fear and frail display that broke Y/n out of his own spell. Only one of them could be frozen by fear, and his father had been here too long. Y/n turned, his father reaching out to stop him, and moved away from the man on the ground to stand to his full height. He didn’t have to search the darkness - there was a shadow at the end of the hall where Y/n had initially entered the dungeon. A hulking figure covered in shadow. Shadow that would have been complete, if the castle hadn’t been covered in little blue lanterns - something that had only just occurred to Y/n as he finally stopped thinking about where his father was and started to think of how to get out of here alive. Started to take what was around them, to see if there was any weapon or way out.

What he saw instead was that shadowed figure, not seen in any detail but an obvious, deeper darkness in the hallway. So tall and broad it was terrifying, and made his heart stop in his chest. It was like looking up into space without a moon or stars or guide you, or looking down into the depths of the ocean. Focusing on the parts you couldn’t see, where the sun didn’t reach and light couldn’t show you what was danger and what was open water. Just forever extension. Never ending, all consuming darkness that seemed to lean forward. Wanting to swallow him whole.

The voice came again, and this time Y/n swallowed hard to try and move the lump from his throat. “You are brave. To stand to me. You’re scared, but you stand anyway. I haven’t seen bravery until a very long time.” It was half interested, half mocking. Like seeing an ant fight for its life and knowing it was pointless as an unimaginably big hand came down and squashed it. As if interested in the way something so small would fight for a life that was so obviously over.

Y/n locked his jaw, his hands curling into fists as he tried to steady himself. His hands still shook but he felt better being coiled and ready. To fight or run, he wasn’t sure. “Get used to it,” was all he said. It was all he could manage.

And the voice sighed, the shadow’s shoulders moving up and down in a breath. And Y/n was truly shaken by how large the thing lurking was. And then he became frustrated by not being able to see it. Only children were afraid of shadows. “Who are you, shadow walker? Show yourself!”

A pause. And then - “If you wish.” And he didn’t move, but the shadow curling around him receded and Y/n gasped, awed for a moment despite himself at the abilities of a shadow summoner. He recognized the way the hidden beasts’ arm moved, and the way the darkness responded to it.

Then the beast underneath the hiding was revealed and Y/n gasped out loud. He may have been from a village ages from here, but he knew what a vulcra looked like.

Oh god.

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criminalamnesia · 1 year

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Dancing With Our Hands Tied

summary: Nikolai confronts you about unspoken feelings.

warnings: fluff, no use of y/n, not proofread, no gendered pronouns used (that I know of), grisha!heartrender!reader

author’s note: dancing with our hands tied by taylor swift inspired this! also listen I love zoya and nikolai but nikolai is just sooooooo ksjfjsjs I wanted to write a reader insert for him.

—

What you had with your captain was something no one understood– not even the two of you.

Sturmhond– or Nikolai, as you knew him in secret– was your friend. Your captain. But he was also something more.

He was a rogue ship, and you were a lighthouse guiding him home. He was a dangerous sea, threatening to drown you if you tested your luck– and oh, how you were so close to seeing what would happen if you did.

You shouldn’t even know his true identity. But, as fate would have it, he needed a heartrender with a specific set of skills that you just happened to have, and you needed an escape.

You were his tailor– disguising his appearance and turning him into the infamous Sturmhond. That was the only reason you were allowed to see him without his mask– you were the one to put it back together.

“You’re not surprised?” He had asked you the first night your services had been requested.

The ginger hair of Sturmhond had faded. The crooked nose had straightened, but the same smug grin was still present.

“No,” you had said. “I know that heartbeat. I knew it was you a mile from your ship.”

That took him aback. How did you know his heartbeat?

You had laughed, your eyes twinkling with something he found mesmerizing. He didn’t know you– he was sure of it. He wouldn’t forget a face like yours.

One of your hands was on his shoulder, holding him still. The other roamed his face, fingers dancing across his skin as you worked.

“You’re staring,” you stated, your fingers moving to his messy blond hair. “Trying to figure out how I know you?”

“Yes,” he admitted, eyes watching your face intently. “Were you at the Little Palace?”

You nodded. “I was.” The blond of his hair started to turn red. “But I spent most of my time in the Grand Palace.” You paused, your hand leaving his shoulder to move to his chin, tilting his head to the side. You could hear his heart beat a tad bit faster.

“The Darkling gave me to your mother, as he did with Genya. I was her apprentice. She taught me how to tailor.” You told him.

“I didn’t suffer the same fate she did, if that’s what you’re wondering. Your father had eyes for her, not me.” You couldn’t help the bitterness in your voice. Nikolai flinched.

“You were rarely home– but I met you once, when we were both still small. That’s why I know your heartbeat. The only one of the Royal Family to have a good heart– not a sour one. It stuck with me, I guess you could say.”

“I don’t remember you,” he admitted, and you gave a small laugh. His blond hair was almost completely red now.

“I wouldn’t expect you to. You’re not the only one being tailored, Captain. The First Army can’t take me back if they don’t recognize me, now can they?”

“Are you listening?”

Nikolai’s voice broke you from your thoughts. He was sitting on the bed in his quarters on the ship. You stood between his knees, your hands on his face as you changed him back into Sturmhond.

“Mhm,” you hummed. You weren’t. This routine was something you could do in your sleep, and truthfully, you found your mind drifting off more and more whenever Nikolai required your assistance. It’s not that you found his company dull– quite the opposite, actually. But you didn’t want him to know that.

“No you weren’t,” he gave a small chuckle, one of his hands moving up to grab one of yours. He pulled it from his face as he intertwined your fingers.

“Nikolai,” you hissed, pulling your hand from his grasp. “Do you want me to mess up? I was in the middle of reforming your nose.”

He sighed, his hand falling back to his lap as you raised yours once more. You avoided his eyes, knowing you wouldn’t like what you saw in them.

Between the two of you, he was the more open with his feelings. For the past few weeks, he had continuously tried to corner you and get you to talk about whatever the two of you were. To try and figure things out. You had successfully avoided him thus far, but you knew you were dancing on thin ice.

It was only a matter of time before he recruited one of the twins to subdue you while he forced you to listen. You wouldn’t put it past him, and you knew for a fact Tolya would help him. Curse that hopeless romantic.

“You’re insufferable. And exhausting,” he told you as you grasped his chin gently between your fingers, turning his face this way and that to examine your handiwork.

“I know. You tell me quite often,” you remarked, nodding to yourself as you moved to focus your sights on his hair.

He sighed. Silence engulfed the two of you. It was almost smothering, full of unsaid words and the tension between the two of you. You were suddenly aware of how close you were to him– his knees caging you in as you stood between his spread legs. His face in your hands, his hands now on your waist.

“We keep dancing around this,” he said. You didn’t reply, choosing to focus more intently on the roots of his hair. “The whole crew thinks we’re sleeping together.”

That caught you off guard. You gave a snort, rolling your eyes. “Of course they do. You call me to your quarters in the night, every week. You always stare at me, especially when you think I’m not looking. And you’re handsy– you’ve always got a hand on my back or my shoulder or something.”

Nikolai chuckled. “Well, you’re one to talk. Every time you laugh at something I’ve said, you grab onto my arm and go ‘oh Sturmhond!’. And don’t act like you don’t stare, too.”

“I do not say ‘oh Sturmhond’,” you said, looking down at him. He grinned that same crooked smile.

“I know you’re thinking it. Probably thinking some other things, too. Like how you’d like to–”

“Shut up, or I’m going to give you a black eye.” You hissed, pulling his hair harder than you should’ve.

He laughed. “You wouldn’t. You like my face too much.”

“Im sick of it, actually,” you remarked. “I see it everyday.”

“If that were true, you wouldn’t be here.” He replied.

“You say that as if you’d let me leave. I’m the only tailor you’ve got.”

He shook his head. “That’s not the reason I wouldn’t let you leave, and we both know it.”

You dropped your hands as the last of his blond turned red. Your job here was done. There was nothing stopping you from bidding him goodnight and excusing yourself to your own cot. You knew he would drop it and let you go without another word, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. You didn’t want to say anything.

“So now you’re keeping me prisoner?” You said, suddenly all too aware of his hands squeezing your waist.

“Maybe I am. At least until you admit you like me,” he said, and you scoffed.

“If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be here–” you began, but he cut you off.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

He moved to stand. You tried to step back, but his hands on you kept you rooted to the spot. You looked up at him, heat rising to your cheeks. Your chests were touching now, and there were only inches between your lips and his.

“When are we going to stop playing this game?” He whispered, one of his hands moving from your waist to brush a strand of hair from your face.

“You like it too much to stop.” You retorted.

“I’d like honesty more,” he said, and you shook your head. “As much fun as playing cat and mouse is with you, I’m growing tired of chasing. And we both know you’re tired of running.”

His hands were on your hips as he swung you around the deck, a laugh on his lips as you clung to his shoulders. You couldn’t help but smile as he dipped you, your eyes meeting his. There were unspoken promises in his gaze– too many feelings, and you had to look away.

Others danced around you two as a few of the crew played some song you’d never heard on makeshift instruments. Laughter and conversation made it hard to think straight. Spirits were high– you’d all just succeeded in breaking through a Fjerdan blockade– and that called for a celebration.

“They’re all going to think we’re together,” you had told Nikolai as he grabbed your hand and pulled you to the dance floor. He had laughed, leaning in close to whisper “let them” in your ear.

He had kissed you for the first time that night, after the party had subsided and everyone was asleep but the two of you. You had been talking quietly, watching the stars and listening to the waves, and he had kissed you and you had melted.

“Nikolai..” you sighed, your hands moving to rest on his shoulders. “This isn’t a good idea.”

“I don’t care,” he told you, and his heartbeat was as steady as it had ever been.

“I do,” you told him, meeting his gaze. “You can’t play pirate forever. What happens when you go back to Ravka, back to your family? You can’t marry me. I’m nobody– not a princess, not a diplomat. I’m an escaped servant who knows too much and would be imprisoned or executed for escaping.”

“Privateer,” he corrected, and you rolled your eyes. “And I’m the second son– a bastard second son. I’m already a disgrace in their eyes,” one of his hands moved to the small of your back, his thumb rubbing circles into the fabric of your shirt. “I can’t disappoint them any more than I have.”

“It doesn’t matter what they think of you now, they still won’t let me anywhere near you.” You replied, and he shook his head.

“Why are we even talking about this?” He asked. “We’re not in Ravka. We’re in the middle of the ocean, and no one cares what we do.”

He was right. You were far from Ravka and his family and your pasts. You were someone new, and he was, too. You weren’t an escaped servant– you were Sturmhond’s first mate. You were his most trusted friend– besides the twins– and you were the one he wanted.

And you wanted him, too.

“I don’t care about details,” he said, his voice low. “I don’t care about families or consequences or rumors. I care about you, about that little smile you always get before you win at cards, about how you let me drag you onto the dance floor while the crew stares, and how you put up with me more than you should.”

You didn’t say anything, too stunned for words.

“I would do anything,” he began, his face slowly inching towards yours. “To dance with you again. To kiss you again. To not hide behind stolen glances and little jabs at each other.”

“Nikolai,” you murmured, your eyes flitting down to his lips.

“Yes?” He asked as your eyes found his once more.

“Just shut up.” You said, and you closed the gap between the two of you, your lips meeting his.

Maybe nothing he said would be true in the morning. Maybe he would realize this was all a big mistake, but you didn’t care.

He was right. You were tired of running, and you were so glad he was tired of chasing.

And as you kissed, that heartbeat that you’d remembered after all these years– that you’d always remember– soared.

And you knew he wasn’t lying.

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pr-olvdr · 10 months

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reblog if you agree

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thesuntomyshadows · 3 months

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Jesper: Whenever Y/N's mad at me I tighten the lids on all our jars so they have to come and get help from me.

Y/N: Ughh, will you just open! *Sound of smashing glass in the background*

Jesper: It hasn't worked yet but it'll happen.

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bey0nd-1he-stars · 1 year

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Anchor - Nikolai Lantsov

Masterlist

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Wordcount: 1247

Warnings: crying, mentions of wounds

Summary: You try to find Nikolai after the fight is over to make sure he is okay (based heavily on the Netflix show but I can't say that it's spoiling something)

The sun shined like never before. After being drowning in the darkness of the Fold, the sun seemed too bright. You’d made it through the battle with just a few scratches and some torn clothes, but overall you were alright. You’d been with Tamar at the start, but when the Fold had expanded and the volcra had made its way to the fort, you’d had no other choice than to split up if survival were to be left on the map. It'd been a game of hide and seek and fortunately, you’d won. The breath you’d let out when the sun broke through and the light came back, signaling that Alina had done it, it may be the most relief you’d felt in a long time. Until you saw what the volcra had left after their brief visit and you couldn’t find any of the others.

Nikolai wasn’t bearing any of his own weight, leaning on Tamar and Tolya as they made it out of the room and out to the frontside of the fort. Barrels and crates still stood there, a bit messier than before but otherwise it was alright. A few soldiers from the first army had started to gather those who’d been lost in the battle, they were lined up on the grass just outside the gate. Tamar and Tolya carefully sat him down on top of a pair of crates of some sort and let out a huff. Nikolai ran a hand through his blond mop of hair and started to look around for familiar faces. That’s when it hit him. Where were you? Had you survived all this chaos? You had to. In his frantic state of mind he made an attempt to get up but lost his balance until Tolya caught him. He gave him a nod in thank you and started to limp away to try and find you.

“Nikolai? what are you- where are you going?” Tamar asked and ran up to him. She placed an arm around his waist to help stabilize him. Nikolai came to a halt and threw an arm around her shoulders and propped himself up a bit.

“I have to find Y/N.” Tamar nodded and pulled at him, leading him into the fort again, “come along then.”

You were almost running through the corridors, throwing every door open, shouting names into the air. Your heels made clicking sounds against the stone floor that echoed in the hallways, your kefta was torn a few places and the buttons had come undone and it flew behind you like a cloak. The tears that had gathered in your eyes got closer and closer to falling with every door you threw open. Every door led to yet another empty room where chaos had passed and left everything in a mess. Here and there you were met by a few offers from the first army, a few grisha here and there, but no sign of Nikolai, Tolya, Tamar or any of the crows. When you’d almost given up, walking out of the latest room with tears running down your face and your breath caught in your throat, gasping for air, that’s when Nikolai rounded the corner in the far end of the corridor. At the shout of your name you whipped around and the sight of Nikolai and Tamar had you almost fainting with relief.

“Y/N!” Nikolai shouted. It echoed in the corridor and bounced off of the stone walls around you. The sun lit up the corridor and you could see him clearly. Nikolai let go of Tamar and propped himself up against the wall instead. And you ran. You ran straight into his arms, throwing yourself in his embrace and wrapping your arms around his neck, burying your face against his neck. He caught you and pressed you into him, wanting all of you as close to him as possible. He wanted to feel your warmth, your breathing and the beating of your heart. His leg was throbbing and he sunk down on the floor with you still in his arms.

“I thought I lost you, all of you. I couldn’t find any of you,” you whispered, breathing in the scent of him and fisting the fabric of his uniform in your hands. You looked up to see if Tamar was still there but she’d left, probably to tend to Nadia. Nikolai, equally relieved as you, pressed a hasty kiss to the side of your head and placed a hand in your hair, threading through it gently.

“Are you alright?” He asked gently and pulled away slightly to let his eyes roam your body in search of any injuries, but let out a relieved sigh when you nodded and the only wounds he found on you were not very drastic. He made a move to stand up and you pulled away from the hug but grabbed ahold of his hand instead. Nikolai almost fell against the wall when he put pressure on his wounded leg.

“Oh Saints, Nikolai!” You gasped and wrapped an arm around his waist and you let him throw an arm around your shoulders. He grimaced and dragged a sharp breath as you stared walking back outside to where Nikolai said the others would be.

“I’m okay,” he insisted and looked down at you.

“You don’t look very okay,” you said softly and stopped for a moment. You placed yourself in front of him instead and he rested his arms on your shoulders. His blond hair was messy and dirty, he had a bloody wound on the side of his head, a bleeding hole in his shoulder, the same place where he’d taken his first bullet, and his leg was bloodied and wrapped hastily in a white fabric. He definitely didn’t look okay.

“It could be worse,” he tried and his famous smirk made its way to his lips. You chuckled, still the same old humour. He didn’t seem to have hit his head at least. You softly shook your head at him and cupped his cheek in your hand, careful to avoid the wound.

“Just because it could be worse doesn’t mean that you’re okay.” Nikolai smiled at that, you were always so caring and comforting. Something he admired greatly with you. He settled for a simple nod and you placed yourself at his side again to help him walk. When the two of you came out into the sun in the courtyard Nikolai stopped again. You assumed he wanted to rest his leg but when you looked up at him he came crashing his lips down on yours. He held your face gently in his hands, yours came to rest on his chest. The kiss was soft and gentle and Nikolai savored every second like it was his last. You could feel the thumping of his heart through the uniform. The world had stopped and you let yourself enjoy the short moment. The two of you had survived the war, it was at least worth a kiss in celebration.

When you broke apart Nikolai had tears running down his face. His eyes were glossed over and he slightly trembled under your hands. You didn’t say anything, you just wrapped your arms around him and held him, holding him up and pressing soft kisses to his blond mop of curls. You let each other just bask in the moment. You held each other, grounding each other like anchors to the world.

#season 2 shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #grishaverse #the grisha series #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov x reader #prince nikolai #nikolai lantsov #six of crows #nikolai lantsov fanfic #nikolai lantsov imagines #king of scars #rule of wolves

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flightlessangelwings · 8 months

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Ktober Day 4- Sex Pollen

Nikolai Lantsov x gn!Corporalki!reader

Word count- 1.9k

Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), mutual pining, multiple orgasms, no use of y/n

Notes- Nikolai my beloved I can't believe I've never written anything for him before! What a way to start writing for him, huh lol?! Prompt list made by me! Enjoy!

@flightlessangelwings-updates is myupdate blog so please follow that too and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on my new fics!

“Captain?” you knocked at the door to his quarters, “Is everything alright?” you called through the door as you tested the handle. Finding it unlocked, you slowly opened it and peeked inside, “Tamar wanted me to check on you.”

“Everything’s alright, love,” Nikolai quickly put himself together as you entered his room. He felt his brow dampen as it lined with sweat, and he adjusted his pants uncharacteristically awkwardly as he laid his eyes on you. He always found you attractive, but suddenly, he couldn’t stop the thoughts that barraged his mind.

“Nikolai,” you breathed his true name as you closed the door behind you, “I can feel your heart… It’s…” pounding erratically, beating faster than you had ever felt before, about to explode, “What happened?” you asked as you rushed over to him and looked him over. He was bright red and you saw the way beads of sweat dripped down his face. He looked like he had lost his composure as he covered his mouth, something you had never seen before.

“It’s… nothing…” he breathed heavily as he tried to hide the way his pants tightened between his legs.

Nikolai and the twins had just returned to the ship from an excursion. Everything went fine, until the Captain got separated from the others and didn’t seem himself when he returned. He refused to say anything, but every Corporalki could sense that something was off, including you. It worried you, but Nikolai didn’t want to worry you.

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you,” you said sternly yet softly, “Now please, let me help you,” you reached out to try and touch his forehead to assess what was wrong.

But the moment the tips of your fingers made the briefest contact with his heated skin, Nikolai grabbed your wrist and looked at you with a fire behind his eyes that you had never seen before. He hissed your name as his hands trembled, “Leave,” his voice was strained as he fought against his own mind. If he gave in to whatever he had pulsing through his veins, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from ravaging you. And Nikolai could never forgive himself if he hurt you at all.

“Nikolai,” you whispered, “I’m not leaving you. Not when you’re like this.”

Nikolai let out a low groan that made your breath hitch in your throat. You felt his agony as his hand clenched tightly around your wrist. But there was something else that weighed heavily in your heart. You hated seeing him like this, helpless to do anything for him. And you would do anything for him. You had been hopefully in love with him from practically your first meeting, but you kept those feelings buried deep down.

“Listen to me,” Nikolai strained as he hovered closer to you, “I don’t have time to explain,” he forced a half a smile, “And I wouldn’t want anything to come between us if I can’t stop myself right now… Especially before I got the chance to wine and dine you first.”

At that moment, you felt your own face heat up, “What?”

He cursed under his breath as his body shook, “I don’t know what happened out there, I can’t remember, but whatever it is, everything in me is screaming to fuck you senseless right now or else I feel like I’ll explode.” His memory was hazy, but in his time apart from the others, something must have attacked him and poisoned him with… something. It wasn’t like any other poison, though, nothing Nikolai knew of had effects like… this.

Your mouth dropped open as you processed the weight of his words and what they meant. You felt your own heart flutter in your chest as Nikolai’s gaze bore into your soul. You felt the fire behind his eyes and it lit your body aflame. You had wanted this… wanted him… for so long. But you never in your wildest dreams could have imagined this.

“Let me help,” your voice was so hushed you barely even heard your words. But, from the way Nikolai’s expression changed, you knew he heard you. Swallowing your nerves, you closed the small gap between your bodies and cupped his face, “You can use me.”

“Darling,” his voice didn’t even sound like him as he immediately grabbed you and yanked you so that your chest was flush with his. Then, Nikolai looked surprised, as if his body moved on his own at your words, “I couldn't…”

You whimpered as you felt his hard cock against your body, “You need to,” your own voice trembled, “I…” you sighed as you rested your forehead against his, “I can’t lose you,” your confession was a soft whisper, but it held all the emotions that you kept hidden from everyone, especially him.

In a flash, Nikolai’s lips were on yours in a heated kiss. He swallowed the moan you let out as his hands roamed over your body, ripping at your clothes with abandon as he did so. You clung to him and you heard his heartbeat through your ears; it sounded like the way your ears rang when you were too close to cannon fire. You heard the blood rushing through his veins at incredible speed… or was it your own pulse in your ears?

The room spun in a tizzy as you suddenly found yourself naked on Nikolai’s desk, your legs spread open on their own, as if you felt the effects of whatever infected him as well. But, it didn’t matter. All you could think about was the way he bared his own body before you. Quickly, Nikolai stripped himself of his own clothes, and cock springing free as if it guided his body towards yours the moment it was exposed.

You bit your lip and whimpered as he cupped you between your legs.

“Darling,” Nikolai’s voice was low as he fought to hold himself back momentarily, “Do not let me hurt you.”

Seeing the conviction in his eyes made your heart skip a beat and your inner muscles clenched around nothing, “I trust you,” was your reply. It wasn’t a lie, and you wouldn’t have offered yourself to him if you didn’t.

He groaned as he pumped his cock a few times and lined himself up with your entrance. Pausing only for a fraction of a moment, Nikolai met your eyes before he thrust himself into you.

You threw your head back and screamed as his cock stretched you out. Without any preparation, you felt the sting at first, but it quickly turned to pleasure as he rocked himself in and out of you at a fast and harsh pace. You moaned as you clung to him, and Nikolai wrapped his arms around you in response.

The moment he entered you, Nikolai felt an instant relief, but he knew it would take more than that to fully rid himself of whatever plagued him. He never wanted it to be like this with you. He wanted you, of course, he had since you first joined his crew. But Nikolai wanted to court you properly, to earn your love, your trust, your body. He wasn’t even sure you felt the same way about him that he had about you. But, from the moment he got hit with whatever it was, you were the only person on his mind.

“Saints,” Nikolai murmured as he bit your shoulder to stifle his own moans, “You feel better than I ever imagined.”

You gasped as he hit that sweet spot inside you at the same time his words left his mouth. Tears filled your eyes and emotions took over. All you could do was cling to him as he pounded into you. Moans filled the room as you felt your climax quickly approach.

“Nikolai… I’m…”

He just groaned as he picked up his pace until you came hard. Nikolai wanted to pull back and watch you cum, but at the same time he couldn’t break away from you even by an inch. Instead, he held you tightly as you gushed between your bodies and trembled in his arms.

“Darling…” he growled as he felt his own climax follow yours. And with just a few more pumps of his cock, he came deep inside you as he groaned your name and clutched you tightly.

Relief washed over him like a cool rain on a hot summer day. Nikolai still felt the aftershocks of his orgasm, and his cock still remained hard inside you, but the urgency was gone. But, just as he was about to pull out of you, you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“You can keep going,” you whispered, feeling his hardness as well, “I’m ok.”

“But…”

“I trust you,” your voice was more firm as you pulled back enough to look in his eyes, “Do you trust me?”

“I do,” his reply came without hesitation.

The way you looked at him so sincerely made Nikolai’s cock twitch inside you, and before he knew it, he was thrusting in and out of you again. Your mouth dropped open in a loud moan, but he reeled forward and captured your lips with his one in another deep, heated kiss. As he locked lips with you, Nikolai felt his second climax quickly approach, and without pulling away once more, he came inside you.

You whimpered into his mouth as you felt Nikolai fill you up to the point where his cum dripped down your bodies, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was him.

Breaking away for air with a gasp, Nikolai finally got to look in your eyes as you were lost in pleasure. Lost in pleasure on his cock. Saints, you were beautiful like this. Once more, the need overtook him, and Nikolai pounded into you again until he came for the third time. But this time, he watched your every expression as you moaned and cried out his name.

Your eyes stayed shut as he continued to thrust into you, hitting your sweet spot over and over and over again until you couldn’t take it anymore. And just as Nikolai came for the third time, you did as well, crying out his name and clenching around his cock. This time was different though, for both of you. It felt less urgent, yet just as needy.

“Beautiful,” Nikolai murmured as he watched you fall apart in his arms.

With a gasp, your eyes shot open and your heart skipped a beat as you saw the expression of pure adoration on his face, “Nikolai,” you breathed as you cupped his face.

He gave you a weak smile as he mirrored your action, “I think I’m alright now,” he said softly as he slowly pulled out of you, “Thank you,” he hovered his lips over your, but stopped.

You had whined when he pulled out of you, but the disappointment quickly vanished when you felt his breath on your lips. Blinking your eyes open, you studied his face close up, closer than you ever had before. “Don’t tell me you’re shy now, Nikolai,” you quipped in a hushed, exhausted voice.

“I just…” he sighed, “I owe you.”

You smiled, “What about the wining and dining me then?” you asked with an amused huff.

That made Nikolai’s face light up, “I love it when you quote me,” his tone dropped as he finally kissed you, “And yes,” he murmured with a smirk.

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frost-queen · 1 year

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The privateer’s sun (Reader x Nikolai Lantsov)

Requested by: anon, Forever tag: @missmelodramatic, @theletterhart, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly, @denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco @idkwhatmyusernameis, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07

Summary: Reader is a sun summoner as well under the command of Nikolai who you don’t get along with. When another sun summoner Alina Starkov boards Nikolai’s ship, you are overwhelmed with sudden jealousy. Back on land the little palace hold a ball to where you secretly hope Nikolai would dance with you, yet he chooses Alina over you. Over run with jealousy you take your leave only for Nikolai to chase after you, dragging you away to confront you.

The boat rocked gently into the sea. The movement of water swaying around it. You were used to your sea legs now for being so long on the ship. You went through the door to the captains cockpit. Tolya and Tamar already there. Nikolai standing behind his desk, hovering over a map of the waters. Tamar cleared her throat loud to hint Nikolai of your presence. Nikolai looked up, noticing you. – “Ah Y/n, come!” – he said gesturing you over. You exhaled deep moving over to him. Once you were near the desk, he spoke. – “Can you light up a bit.” – he wiggled with his fingers, barely giving you any attention. – “It’s getting dark, and I can hardly read my maps.” – he chuckled, throwing you a witty smirk.

You clicked your tongue, looking annoyed away. – “Poor eyesight.” – you commented on a mumbling tone. Tolya snorting loud as he overheard. – “What was that?” – Nikolai asked with a frown. You flattened your expression into a forced sarcastic smile. – “As you please.” – you spoke, mentally strangling him. You moved your fingers till a light appeared in the palm of your hand. Seeing Nikolai smile at his maps. You smirked letting the light shine brighter. So bright it filled the room with a blinding white light absorbing the room till nothing could be seen.

Nikolai grunted, covering his eyes up with his arm, looking away from your glow. Tamar and Tolya also looking away. You absorbed your light once more, dimming it till nothing. – “I’m sorry was that too much.” – you outed teasingly. Nikolai fluttering his eyelashes to adjust his view. Nikolai jumped out of his skin when you set your hands loudly on his desk. – “I’m a sun summoner, not a candlelight to your pleasing.” – you spoke loudly making him swallow nervously.

Nikolai hummed mockingly. – “Here I thought you were a provider of light.” – he pouted his lips to taunt you even more. You rolled with your eyes, looking away. – “Watch your mouth… pirate.” – you countered, Nikolai gasping dramatically at your insult. – “Privateer! I’m a privateer Y/n!” – he corrected loudly as you could only smile, having gotten under his skin. Tamar rolling her eyes with a brief sigh. Tolya enjoying the tension rising between the two of you. You let your eyes go down on the maps he was overlooking.

“Fortune seeking?” – you questioned. He quirked up a smile. – “Why are you interested in joining?” – he teased. You snorted loud. – “It’s clear you need me thanks, but no. I’ll let the pirate hunt up to you.” – You laughed wrinkling your nose. Nikolai puffed his chest, crossing his arms. – “Well maybe I don’t need you.” – he answered. – “Good.” – you spoke turning around, making your way over to the door. Nikolai breathing loudly through his nose, hating that he did need you. – “It involves a lot of gold.” – he called out making you stop. – “Some dangers on the side and all the fun of an adventure. That seems like a deal worth taking… but I’ll leave that up to you.” – he lowered his gaze almost pitiful.

You sighed loud, turning back. – “Well it’s intriguing, but to go with you it will put my life on the risk…” – you approached his desk once more. – “What percentage of the gold will I be taking?” – you asked smiling sweetly at him. Nikolai suppressed a loud groan of pleasure he could out right now from seeing that sweet smile of yours. – “Fair enough, you want some. I’ll give you seven.” – he responded making you laugh loud. – “Do you think I’m that foolish. Eighteen would just be fine.” – you said pressing your palms against his desk.

Nikolai laughed tauntingly. – “Why not just ask for all the treasures in my chest?” – he responded mockingly. – “Fifteen?” – you suggested leaning closer to him. – “Eight!” – Nikolai held on, leaning in closer too. – “Twelve?” – you pushed on. – “Maybe nine?” – He replied hesitantly. – “Ten!” – you commented practically all up in his face. Nikolai swallowed nervously caught by your up closeness for a second. Tamar and Tolya looking intriguing at each other. Suddenly aware of how close you were to him; you drew quickly back.

Face flustered making you take a run for it. Nikolai sitting down breathlessly. Outside you touched your cheek for it’s temperature. The cold sea’s wind quickly cooling you down. You moved aside from the door, hearing movement. Tamar and Tolya stepping out. Tolya whistling loud while waving himself some cool. – “Now that was hot intense.” – he said, Tamar chuckling. – “It keeps the spirit lively with such bickering.” – Tamar commented walking up the deck.

You overheard snippets of their conversation. Feeling the heat creep up again at the thought of Nikolai’s face close to yours. You turned away to the sea when Nikolai came walking out. His eyes falling briefly upon you before heading up to the higher platform. The wind catching his coat and hair. Peeking to the side, you caught him in all his glory. The sun setting behind him. Nearly gone to make room for the moon.

You gasped needing to see it for yourself. The new girl that had boarded the ship claiming to be Alina Starkov. She stood in Nikolai’s private room. – “I know who you are Miss Starkov.” – he said sitting at his desk. He hadn’t even looked up to acknowledge you having slipped into his room, coming to stand beside Tamar and Tolya. – “Sun summoner.” – he whispered teasingly with a smirk. Tamar looked over at you, watching your expression. Seeing how bitter your face began to stand. Alina puffed loudly. – “What are you a pirate?” – she replied with sarcasm.

Nikolai chuckled catching you off guard. – “Privateer, there is a difference.” – he explained. The guy who was with Alina frowned. – “Isn’t it all the same?” – he whispered to Alina. Alina straightened her posture. – “Yes, I am the sun summoner.” – she expressed holding her hand to keep her friend back who clearly was against her confession. Nikolai smiled wider. She demonstrated lighting up the room. The light faded as Alina took a deep breath. - “You don’t have to worry I’m not going to sell you to Nyovy Zem.” – Nikolai said. – “You aren’t?” – Alina furrowed her brows.

Nikolai got up from his seat, going around his desk to Alina. – “You’re a symbol.” – he addressed her with a flashing smile. The bitterness in your heart turning cold. Tamar seemed to notice it. Alina wasn’t the first sun summoner he encountered so why was he acting so warmly and teasingly towards her. There was nothing special about Alina Starkov. The only thing distinguishing her from you was that she was with the darkling. Trying to tear down the fold while he wanted to expand it.

You got so angry it made you clench your hand. Taking your leave with a loud exit. Nikolai looking behind Alina, seeing the door shut. He looked over to Tamar and Tolya wondering who just left. Tamar sighed dropping her shoulders down at him. Tolya moving his eyebrows up as if he should know. Nikolai furrowed his brows thinking till some realization slowly hit him. Having a slight clue of who it might be, yet he did nothing against it. You ran up to the railing, gripping tight onto it. Hands trembling as you so desperately wanted to scream your lungs out in agony.

Rather wanting the sea to swallow you hole then have to listen to one more sweet word Nikolai said to her. Slowly losing it to jealousy you grunted waving your arms aggressively around. Needing to out it in a different way. Some of the crew members looking wary at you. You shot them a glare, threatening to blind them by moving your hand up till your chest to them. They swallowed nervously, quickly looking away. For the remaining day and later on time you kept your distance from Nikolai or Alina. No needing to put more oil on an already burning flame.

The sea made way for land. Roaming the halls of the little palace while preparation to tonight’s ball were fine tuned. The last set of flowers set in the ballroom. Passing quickly by you made your way over to your room. Nearly bumping against Nikolai in the hallway who was adjusting his cuffs. – “Oh.” – he outed looking up. – “Y/n.” – he said softly, eying you up and down. – “Should you not prepare yourself for the dance?” – he questioned.

Tensing your jaw you felt your hand tremble, making you move it behind your back. – “I should as do you.” – you answered, Nikolai frowning. – “Clearly there is a lot of work to do on you.” – you teased, Nikolai bursting out in laughter. You caught yourself smiling instantly from hearing his laugh. Quickly dropping it as he caught a slight sight of it, half smiling. You bowed at him, taking your leave then. Nikolai looked over his shoulder to you, wetting his lips briefly. You went into your room, taking a deep breath.

Feeling your cheek, it felt warm again. How was it that Nikolai was having such an effect on you. After sulking for half an hour, you truly needed to prepare yourself. Styling yourself with much effort. You joined the others following them to the ballroom. You entered as little people applauded for you. Coming to stand by the side, you noticed more applauded when Alina Starkov entered the ballroom with Mal by her side.

Already dunking a hole in your mood. Nikolai entered, surprisingly lifting your spirit up. He briefly made eye contact with you when greeting a few Grisha. You smiled shyly in return. – “Who will you open the first dance with, my King?” – a lord asked loudly of him. Nikolai chuckled flustered seeing all the attention on him. His eyes fell upon you, making you straighten your back unconsciously. He looked rather serious getting in motion. Your heart beating loud in your chest as his gaze remained on you, walking over.

Breathing shallower you couldn’t believe he was making his way over to you. You smiled hopefully, nearly addressing him. – “Niko…” – you whispered, smile faltering as he moved past you, making you step aside. Heart shattering when he offered Alina Starkov his hand. Stumbling out of breath back, you felt like passing out. Nikolai walked back passed you, holding Alina’s hand. His eyes fixated on her.

If your heart could cry, it would overflow the riverbanks and send waves of sorrow onto shore destroying all with the pain nestling inside of you. That pain forming into jealousy. How little eye Nikolai had for you ever since the arrival of Alina Starkov. Whatever made her more special then you? Both sun summoners, yet one forgotten while the other thrives.

Nikolai let go of her hand, taking a bow as she curtsied. They both waited for the music. A circle of people around them watching the king and the sun summoner dance. Music filled the room as it ached in you heart. Making you grasp for it breathlessly as if a hole was carving in it. Nikolai and Alina waltzed gracefully, only eyes for each other. A piece of your heart torn as it hurt so much. The way he looked at her made every sense in your body overheat with jealousy.

It got so badly to the boiling point, you needed to escape before you would light up the entire room out of revenge. Nikolai and Alina had their palms pressed together, slowly turning as you slipped out of the room. Nikolai noticing you leave so suddenly. Tears stained your cheek making you wipe them quickly away. Overcome with such emotions you couldn’t hold it in anymore. Making your way away from the ballroom. – “Y/n!” – you suddenly heard.

Nikolai had come into the hallway, calling out your name once he saw you. You ignored him crying even harder. – “Y/n!” – Nikolai repeated loudly coming to chase after you. Slowing down behind you. – “Y/n wait.” – he said grabbing for your arm. You swayed it forwards so his loose grip was off you. – “Y/n will you please stop.” – he asked wanting to reach for your arm once more, but you moved it out of reach. Nikolai tensed his jaw when you refused to listen to him.

“Y/n stop!” – he outed loud, grabbing you firmly by the arms. – “No!” – you answered, fighting with every might to be free of him. Nikolai tightened his grip on you, pushing you towards the side. Grabbing for the doorknob, pushing you inside the room afterwards. He closed the door out of breath. – “Why’d you leave so suddenly?” – he asked as you stood with your back at him. Wiping your tears away as you didn’t want him to know you were crying. – “You’d get your turn after the first dance.” – he explained not understanding you.

You laughed foolishly at yourself. Have you truly taken upon the crown of fools. – “Don’t you understand!” – you spitted out, turning sharply at him. – “It’s not about… I never…” – you said uttering in such a messy state. Your mind all over the place as it pounded loud. – “You were looking at me!” – you outed trying to recall if you were correct. – “I thought… I thought…” – you said out of breath looking at him. – “You and Alina Starkov.” – you continued barely following your own train of thoughts. Nikolai simply smirked looking upon you.

“The first dance! With her!” – you called out in desperation feeling like you were losing your mind. Nikolai stepped up to you, moving his palm up your cheek as he kissed you teasingly. Eyes widening in shock as his lips retracted from yours. – “You were jealous I chose Alina for the first dance?” – he said still that silly smirk on his lips. It made you flutter your eyelashes rapidly to blink yourself awake. – “I feel flattered Y/n.”

He pressed his lips against yours again, catching you off guard. – “I would only dance with Alina once, the rest of the evening I would’ve dedicated to you.” – he spoke staring longingly at you. – “You would’ve?” – you asked shyly, Nikolai nodding as he brought his lips closer once more. – “To me there is only one sun summoner… and that is you Y/n.” – bringing your face closer to his, his lips crashed against yours. This time you surrendered by kissing him back. Arms going around his neck, drawing him closer.

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Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!

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corpsebasil · 1 year

Text

Shapeshifter Part 2

Part 1

Y/N, as it turned out, had more energy than almost all of Nikolai’s crew. Mal batted her away when she transformed into a cat, leaping onto his back as he walked across the ship towards the rail of it. Nikolai watched in amusement, allowing her to perch on his shoulder when another quick flash turned her into a small, white and grey hawk. She pecked him lightly on the side of his head before settling in, already having had decided that the prince was her favorite person on this ship.

“We should discuss the plan,” Mal said, eyeing the hawk in annoyance. She’d been terrorizing him all day, first as a rat sitting on his chest when he woke up, causing him to fall out of his hammock in shock, then as a snake that wound around his neck while he was trying to eat breakfast.

Everyone else seemed to find it infinitely funny, Y/N most of all, but Nikolai had been hoping to see her real face at some point that day. He couldn’t stop thinking about her last night—could hardly sleep as his mind drifted back to that white wolf form of hers and her strange power.

“When we sail in, we’ll take a group and attack together. Alina should be the one to kill it, but if it’s too vicious, it might not matter who ends the creatures life.” Nikolai said, pointing out at the eerie looking island in the distance. Was it his imagination, or did the hawk on his shoulder seem to burrow closer into his neck? “I hope you like fancy weapons, tracker friend.”

“What about her?” Mal asked, gesturing to Y/N. She snapped her beak at his outstretched fingers with a sassy click. “There’s got to be a way for her to help.”

“I’m not going to risk her life unless she offers it.” Nikolai argued, giving the shifter a glance. Mal mumbled something incoherent and strode away, headed to Tolya and Tamar to discuss the plan. Nikolai’s voice softened when he spoke, his eyes pinned on the distant island. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. This is going to be dangerous, and I’d rather not have the last shifter in the world die on my watch.”

The hawk seemed to ponder his words and then flew off, ducking inside the door of his office. When she emerged, sipping a glass of water with his shirt back on, she walked over to him barefoot, already staring out at the horizon as well.

“I might not be the last one.” She offered, tilting her pretty head at him. “But I’m definitely not letting you go alone.”

“You’d be safer here.”

“I can protect you, princeling.”

He rolled his eyes but smirked, glancing away from her. When he spoke again his tone was serious, tension crossing his shoulders.

“Hell of a way to die, though.” He said, casting her a sidelong glance. “A sea whip. Saints save us.”

“What does it look like?” She asked, and he tugged a sketching of the monster out of his jacket. When she saw it, her face paled. It looked like…and those teeth.. “No.” She scoffed. “You’re not going to fight that thing.”

“And why not?”

“Risking my chances of marrying a pirate prince? Very selfish of you.”

Nikolai grinned when she knocked her shoulder against his, her smile purely feline. But his expression sobered, and he gave her a questioning look.

“You’re coming with us, then?”

“No.” She said simply, her expression suddenly grave, and cast a look over to Alina and Mal. They had been her only companions for the past few days, and though she enjoyed annoying the hell out of them, they were also the only friends that understood what having power was like, what being feared was like, that she’d had in a while. “I’m not going with you. Because you aren’t going.”

The prince had all of five seconds to register her words before the girl hoisted herself over the rail and dropped into the ocean, disappearing completely under the waves. Nikolai shouted as Mal and his crewmates sprinted over, gasping in shock at the shifter that had just leaped over the side of the boat.

“Where the hell is she going?” Mal demanded, glaring at Nikolai like it was his fault. “I thought she was scouting not—”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence.

Not when a beast, so similar to the sea-whip and just as terrifying, flew out of the water and arced over the ship. Nikolai gaped up at it, it’s gigantic, menacing size, before it crashed down into the sea on the opposite side, spraying them with saltwater.

“Saints,” Alina gasped, watching as the beast’s body rippled just under the surface, swimming at a rapid clip towards the sea-whip’s caves. “She’s going to get herself killed. She’s been shifting all morning.”

“Can this ship move any faster?” Mal demanded, face paling, and Nikolai nodded mutely before rushing towards the wheel.

***

It took them five minutes to reach the entrance to the caves. Five minutes. And waiting there, on the beach, was…was…

“Y/N!” Mal shouted, tossing himself off the side of the ship and swimming towards her. Nikolai cursed to high heavens before he followed, Toyla complaining behind him that no one exited the ship in the civilized way, before going after his captain.

A monster lay on the beach. Huge, daunting, teeth gleaming in the sunlight. It was dead, huge bite marks gouged into its neck, and Nikolai shuddered as they approached.

“Where’s Y/N?” He searched around, the shifter no where in sight, when Alina suddenly shrieked. Nikolai jolted forward, running to the Sun Summoner’s side, then froze, ice filling his veins at the sight before him.

Y/N lay unconscious on the ground, every inch of her body exposed, with a deadly looking wound on her left leg. From thigh to knee the flesh was ripped, teeth marks marring her flawless skin. Blood pumped horrifically fast from the wound and all Nikolai could do was stare, gaping, down at the shifter who had risked her life for his entire crew.

She had killed it, had done the task for them, but it may very well have dragged her right after it into the underworld.

“Fucking move.” Mal cursed, knocking the prince out of the way. He tugged his shirt off and wrapped it as tight as he could around the injury, only for blood to soak the fabric in a mere second. Then he bundled her up in his coat and lifted her, holding the girl tight against his chest as he moved back towards the ship.

And Nikolai only gaped after them, his head reeling, the tang of blood in the air hot and heavy in his nose.

***

Y/N woke up from the worst nightmare of her life, only to enter a worse one when she opened her eyes.

She’d never been in so much agony. Had never shifted into something so big before; she had never been so reckless. And for strangers.

Truthfully, she was tired of a meaningless existence. Of stealing scraps of food from strangers, of being on the run, of spying or sneaking around or working for criminals that took advantage of her gifts. She wanted to mean something, so she wanted to protect her new friends.

And she wondered briefly if she might have actually died and this was what hell was like.

“Y/N.” A male voice said, groggy with sleep, and she tried to sit up. But a gasp of pain make her vision blur; fire seemed to burn down every inch of her skin, and her leg—she was terrified to look. “Hold on, just—just hold on.”

It was Nikolai, and a moment later, after some shuffling, she felt a prick of pain in her leg that made her cry out. She smacked at him, damn the agony the movement caused, but after a couple of heartbeats a sense of calm washed over her and the pain eased.

She groaned and laid back again, closing her eyes to welcome the bliss of a break from the torture. Nikolai moved close and scanned her face, setting down the injection he’d given her on his side-table. Sunlight leaked in through the windows of his bedroom. How long had it been?

“Do you need help sitting up?” He offered, and she nodded, allowing him to put an arm around her and prop her up on the pillows. She was shivering, damp with sweat, and she knew she had a fever. “You’ve been out for three days.” He said, his voice quiet and tight, and she gave him an incredulous look.

“How did—” she took in his face, his handsome features warped with pain and fear. “You saved me.”

“You saved us.” His laugh was unamused, and he reached out, resting the back of his hand against her forehead before he filled her water glass. “Why the hell would you do that? You don’t owe us anything.”

She remembered the sea-whip, the way it had roared in challenge. But she had overestimated it’s size, and overpowered the smaller monster easily when she’d tried to replicate the drawing he’d shown her. She snapped it’s neck, but not before it sank it’s rotten teeth into her thigh and almost tore her leg off.

She remembered the agony, the way that she barely made it two steps before she shifted back into her human form, and blacked out.

“I told you,” she laughed softly, taking a sip of water. “I like pirate princes.”

The expression on his face and the heat in his eyes told her he wanted to kiss the hell out of her, but his eyes moved down and he flinched at the sight of her leg. She looked down too, and nearly fainted. Her leg was covered in stitches, large gauge marks that had stayed when she’d shifted back sewn together, her flesh marred and ugly. The bleeding had stopped, but the bruising…the sight of the black thread in her skin…

She barely stifled a sob with her hand before she looked away, trying to focus on anything—anything but the ugly wound that she knew would scar. For the rest of her life, that marred flesh would transfer to any form she shifted to, marking her skin with the proof of her fight with the sea-whip. She was lucky they hadn’t amputated the limb, but she was vain, and was mortified that the prince beside her had seen her in such a destroyed state.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He told her, reaching out to grip her hand. “I owe you my life. I owe you a debt I can never repay.”

She wiped her eyes with her free hand and looked at him, at the prince who she’d sacrificed her life for. He truly was gloriously handsome. And he was kind, she noticed, and he’d done his best to take care of her.

“Just keep the pain-killers and broth coming, prince, and we’re even.”

The relieved smile that crossed his face that she was even able to be playful right now warmed her chest. He stood, moving to grant her request and scrounge up some broth for her, when she called out to him, stopping him at the door.

“And Nikolai?” She asked, voice sweet. He glanced over, raising a brow. “What Im healed, you owe me a date.”

His grin was stunning, and she laughed when he shook his head at her, amused.

“I’ll do more than go on a date with you, sweetheart.” He teased, giving her a searing up down. “I can teach you everything I learned to do to women in the five years since you last saw me.” When her face reddened, he added, “that’s a promise.”

Then he left, and she tucked the blankets under her chin, knowing there was no way in hell she was letting that pirate prince go.

#shadow and bone #six of crows #wattpad #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone imagine #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai x reader #shapeshifter #Grisha

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averagewriter-inthedark · 5 months

Text

Eye of The Storm ⛈| Six of Crows Imagine

Takes place during the events of Shadow & Bone S2

My Masterlists

Characters & Pairings: Crows x Squaller/Saint!Reader (platonic), Kaz Brekker x reader (slight/eventual)

Content Warnings: fighting, blood, profanity, cannon divergence | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 4.9k

Requested 📨: yes/no

Premise: As the Crows make their way back to the Slate following their climatic dethronement of Pekka Rollins, they are ambushed by his supporters with no plan of action to escape. As they slowly accept their fate, what was once a clear night is rained upon with lightning and thunder in its wake. Having beat the odds of meeting one living Saint in their lifetime, the Crows are stunned when their savior, a player in the ever unfolding drama in Ravka, is the legend in stories of restoring life in the world when all hope was lost.

Note: although the Saint name I give is not Y/n, it’s still a reader insert and explains more at the end (it’s not an OC) also I know Zoya is called Sankta Zoya of the Storm but I have yet to get to her arc so for this the reader has powers equivalent to her

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The sirens had finally seized, concluding the hysteria in the streets of Ketterdam once it was revealed the Firebox outbreak was a hoax. Constructed by none other than the Bastard of the Barrel and his thieves amongst men, the Crows. After years of heated tension, and guided vengeance, against Pekka Rollins, Kaz Brekker succeeded in his plans of putting down the Lion that had ruined his life. Constant mental torture as he manuevered his players on their chestboard now able to rest.

“Where were you?” His voice was raspy, face still painted with his blood from the beating as he addressed Inej when she appeared from the shadows. They had been making their way back to the Slat. Nina, Wylan, and Jesper were flanked beside him, the dimly lit street light shining down on the group. Inej had been the only one not accounted for, flooding Kaz with anxiety mixed with anger that she strayed from the plan.

“I--.”

A gloved hand came up, stopping her. “Actually, I’d rather not hear what you have to say.” he wanted to shout. Reprimand her for being so foolish. Voice how her actions could’ve gotten her or one of them hurt because they had no idea where she was.

Despite these desires, the pain in Kaz’s body was too much and he was in need of a strong drink. Inej narrowed her eyes, but the man brushed past her leaving the others to send her looks of sympathy. Falling in step, the group followed behind Kaz, making note of how empty the streets were at that time of night. It was eerie. Yeah they may have caused an uproar with their little stunt, but they assumed there’d still be people out and about.

Dance halls and clubs are empty. The markets closed for business. Not a soul in sight. Wylan was the first to speak, “I’ve never seen it this quiet.”

“Very odd if I must say,” Jesper agreed, unconsciously letting his hands fall to where his guns strapped to his belt. His intuition was picking at his brain at the feeling that something wasn’t right.

“Wouldn’t be surprised if someone’s plotting now that Pekka is gone,” Inej made note of their surroundings. They were only a block from the Slat. Soon they’d be in the comfort of their home, able to bask in the relief they pulled their task off. A warm cup of tea by the fireplace before it came time for bed. Inej was looking forward to it.

But unfortunately, fate had other plans.

Nina suddenly froze, “Stop,” all movement seized, heads turning to the heartrender. Unease consumed them as they took in the sudden paleness of her appearance. “I hear heartbeats.” There was a subtle gulp, the woman adding in a low tone, “a lot of heartbeats.”

Tensing, they were met with the sounds of footsteps approaching from every angle. Inej pulled out her knives, as did Jesper with his guns. Wylan clutched his satchel to his chest, thinking of what he could use to help them out of this situation, though the odds were not looking good. Meanwhile, Kaz reversed his steps while the others spun around, the Crows forming a circle with their backs to one another, Kaz keeping space between him and Jesper. Allowing them a full view of the square.

They watched the herd of men step into the light. Revealing themselves with menacing eyes filled with vengeance. Kaz tensed, recognizing them as Pekka’s men.

Well the ones still loyal to the King of the Barrel. Several had already pledged their support to Kaz or took the chance to ditch town while they had the opportunity. Yet, here was a group of at least twelve, likely part of Pekka’s inner circle who’ve taken the actions of Kaz more personally. Those who refused to kneel. The young criminal should’ve known better than to expect a sudden shift in power would come easily to him.

“We have no business with you, gentlemen,” Kaz spoke with a level of calm that surprised even him. Deep down he was consumed with nerves seeing he and the Crows were severely outnumbered.

“Oh, but we do,” a gruff voice replied. Kaz’s eyes drifted to the owner, who’s hand mavuevered over his gun. “See, some of us are not too pleased with your little show tonight, Brekker. And we’ll be damned before claiming you as the King of the city.”

Jesper tilts his head slightly, whispering under his breath, “What do we do, boss?” Beside him Wylan was visibly freaking out. Nina raised her hands, ready to counter any attacks while Inej tightened the grip of her knives.

“This is it,” Kaz thought, clutching onto his cane. No ideas surfaced to help them escape. Accepting his time was up. Though he was going to fight for his Crows, the Bastard of the Barrel was ready to come to terms with his fate.

But before anyone could make the first room, a crack of lightning followed by its booming thunder shook the ground. Several flinched, including the crows, some of the Dime Lions stumbling by how close and sudden the element was to them. Rainfall began to pour down the once clear sky. Dark clouds covering the stars and skies.

The rain was thick, drenching everyone from head to toe. Their clothes became heavy. Had it not been for the skewing of their visibility, making them struggle to see where they were, they’d be annoyed by their state. But there were more important things at stake.

The storm made it hard to see. Only getting a glimpse of shapes and figures when flashes of lightning in the near distance hit the earth. Coupled with its thunder. Kaz barely could make out the enemy, bringing his cane up for any sudden attacks.

“What’s happening?” Wylan shouted, gurgling when the water hit mouth. “What do we do?”

“I-I--,” Kaz stuttered, the feeling of nausea swarming him at the cold, wet, rain hitting his face. It brought him back to the worst days of his life. Floating on top of cold, wet, bodies in the harbour, begging the Saints to save him. The man wanted to crawl away and hide. Yet the fear of not knowing what waited for them when the rain stopped kept him from falling to his knees in a panic.

“Hey! You there!” the same man from before shouted, Kaz squinting his eyes to see him raise his gun only to be thrown back by an invisible force of wind. His partner beside him went down next, though what hit him appeared to be a beam of light.

Kinda like a lightning bolt.

“What the hell was that?!” Inej shouted over the thunder.

‘A Squaller?’ Kaz thought to himself, watching another bout of wind sweep his oncoming attacker off their feet. He had not heard of another Grisha roaming the streets of Ketterdam. Surely if a squaller were inhabiting the area he’d know.

Using the butt of his cane Kaz knocked him out unconsious. When he glanced back up, his eyes landed on a cloaked figure standing on the roof of a nearby building. The rain made it impossible to make out their face. But judging by the way they moved their hands, and the fact his enemies were being bombarded by gusts of air, their savior was in fact an Ethereaki.

But what kind exactly?

At first Kaz believed they had to be a Squaller due to the wind. Yet, he then witnessed the rain shift direction, and water from a puddle shoot up to hit a man about to attack Wylan. A Tidemaker would better fit that description, however Kaz wasn’t aware of a Grisha able to control both air and water.

“I don’t know,” Jesper responded, shooting at an assailant he saw racing toward them, “But I’ve never been so happy for a thunderstorm as I am now.” At that moment Kaz realized nobody else noticed the mysterious person on the roof. His attention turned to Jesper beside him, oblivious to the help he was getting from a fellow Grisha. Turning back to the roof, expecting to see the cloaked individual, but they were gone.

As the fight commenced the storm ensued. Thunder overpowering the sound of pelting rain and gunshots. The Crows fought for their lives as the number of Dime Lions against them decreased. Nina managed to incapacitate several as did Jesper and Inej. The fight came to a climatic end with the last one standing was, quite, literally, hit with a lightning bolt causing the Crows to freeze where they stood.

Smoke filled the space, and when it cleared they were met with the mysterious being. Rain pelting down on them, however they seemed to pay no mind. As though it were a natural occurrence. It was still hard to see them. The streetlight candles had been blown out from the rain and wind, and the moon was covered by the clouds. Both those combinations obscured the face of their savior.

Nina raised her hands, ready to defend the group but Kaz motioned for her to stop, causing confusion amongst the rest. Who was this person and what did they want? And why was Kaz not doing anything?

“Well,” their voice, a feminine one at that, breached the once silent square. “That was entertaining if I’m being honest. Been a while since I’ve squabbled with angsty men,” she chucked, “but I was in dire need of practice.” Now hearing the woman speak clearly, they were able to identify her Ravkan accent. For Nina, her heart nearly stopped.

“I know that voice.” she felt the eyes of everyone, including the woman, on her. Hands lowering to her side, Nina's face etched into pure astonishment. Adding more confusion to the group who were at a loss of who this woman was.

“Oh!” The woman chuckled, not commenting on Nina’s words, “Apologies for the storm, let me just--,” they watched in stunned silence as her right hand rose, displaying a motion before the rain slowed and stopped altogether. Then with two fingers, she waved them around causing the clouds above to dissaperate, allowing the moon to shine down.

“Did she just--.” Jesper whispered to Inej, who’s expression resembled that of witnessing a miracle. “Can squallers summon thunderstorms? I thought that was a myth.”

Inej blinked rapidly, voice so low the others barely made out her reply. Tone in absolute awe, “Only one can.”

“One?” Kaz repeated, feeling a wave of unease beneath his skin.

Water from puddles splashed as the woman walked forward, stepping into the ray of light. The Crows, now able to see her fully, were greeted with her (y/h/c) hair and bearing dazzling grey eyes like the storm clouds she’d summoned. She appeared to be slightly older than the group, possibly by a few years. Then again Grisha were known to age slower than regular folk. For all they know she could be in her 50s. Look at the Darkling, who passed as a man in his early 40s to the naked eye but had lived for nearly 400 years.

Adorned in a deep grey kefta, the white and blue embroidery etched on resembled lightning bolts along with tiny drops of rain. It was unlike any kefta the Grisha wore. Those in the Ravka’s Second Army, with the exception of the Darkling, wore certain colored keftas and embroideries to signify their order. But to the knowledge of the Crows, no Grisha wore grey.

“Saints,” Nina gasped, jaw dropping slightly, causing the woman to smirk.

“Now, now,” she playfully tsked, “I’m not above swearing, but considering that applies to me….” her smirk never faltered, “I’m sure you can understand.”

Jesper’s head spun, looking between his comrades to see they were reacting the same way, “I’m sorry, are you saying that you’re--.”

Nina beat him to it, “Sankta Imber of the Drought.” Inej gasped, as did Wylan. The former repeated the name in wonder, falling to her knees in respect, “Sankta Imber….”

Kaz tightened his grip on his cane, mind racing to remember the tale behind the name. Who’s story was passed down from generation to generation for centuries. Who, like the Darkling and the Sun Summoner, was said to be either myth or once lived but suspected of perishing long ago.

Legends say that Sankta Imber of the Drought had been born in the century following the creation of the Fold. A farmer's daughter in the region of East Ravka, her family lived through the period where the country was stricken with a severe drought lasting over a hundred years, beginning not long after the Black Heretic disappeared. With no rain bringing water to the crops came a deadly famine. Hundreds of people and animals were lost, not only due to starvation and dehydration, but also illness. The economy in all of Ravka crumbled. Both States were fighting against each other for resources, as the food supply from East Ravka to West was now scarce. An increase in fires and dust bowls destroyed a lot of ecosystems, further deteriorating the country.

What was left of it that is.

There was little to no hope, with even prayers to the Saints to help them becoming meaningless words. Those still worshiping begged for a savior. The one who would bring the rain and storm. Ending the drought. Releasing them from the famine.

The idea a Squaller could summon a powerful storm was unheard of. Being able to bring forth powerful winds, rain, and possibly lightning and Thunder? Surely a Grisha of sorts would be only known by folklore. Especially given Tidemakers were the ones to control water.

Yet, it all changed one day as the 104th year of the drought approached.

“You’re more powerful than you think, Imber,” Baghra's stern voice echoed in the cave. Sitting opposite of her, with her head down and tear stains painting her cheeks, 15-year-old Imber Egorova made a sound Baghra could only assume was a whimper. “Denying it will do you no good. It will do this country no good.”

“How do you know?” The girl whispered, voice hoarse from crying following another gruesome 12 hour training day. “What makes me different from any other Squaller here?” She referred to the 20 other Squallers residing on the Little Palace grounds. Though some trained with the renowned Gisha teacher, none experienced the level of intensity Imber did.

“No Squaller here has shot someone 80 yards by their power during an exercise,” Baghra rebutted, causing Imber to wince at the memory. The reason why she was suddenly called to Baghra’s cave in the first place. From then on Imber barely got a lick of sleep or time to eat a proper meal.

The older woman gave a pointed look, “nor have they been able to summon electricity.” Ignoring Imbers stunned expression, she continued, “yes, girl, I know what you did when your sister’s heart stopped before you came here. Why your family was so willing to let you go after the testers proved you were Grisha,” Baghra leaned back in her chair, face void of emotion. “Ravka has not seen more than a few inches of rain since this drought began. No storms. And with the famine,” there was a light pause, “It’s claimed more lives than the Fold.”

Imber shuddered at the mention of Ravka’s darkened entity. Not wanting to think about its black abyss swimming with volcra.

“The point is, child,” Baghra captured her attention once more, “Besides the Sun Summoner, you could be the one to end part of Ravka’s suffering. But that will not happen if you cannot believe it yourself.”

Weeks shy of her 16th birthday, Imber received a letter from her father, which would change not only her world, but the one around. After contracting a bacteria from contaminated pond water, her mother and sister succumbed to a deadly illness after only a week. Her father had buried them on their land by the dead oak tree where they used to have picnics before Imber was taken to the Little Palace.

Distraught and riddled with unbearable pain, Imber collapsed to her knees in the middle of the courtyard, crumbling the letter in her hands. Her peers were silent, staring at her with sympathy. Unsure of what to say to the grieving teen, despite many knowing the exact feeling Imber was feeling.

Sorrow, anguish, regret. Never having the chance to correct wrongs or make memories with the loved onces they longed for. The cries of the Grisha filled the otherwise silent courtyard.

Suddenly, a rumble came from the sky..

Imber didn’t hear it over the sound of her sobs. Her companions, however, drew their attention upward, where they were greeted by a sight unimaginable. What once was a clear blue canvas, barely any clouds to begin with, transformed to that of a dark shadow. Wind, so powerful they thought a Squaller was responsible, nearly sent them off their feet.

“What’s happening?” A girl shouted, though they had difficulty hearing her due to the mix of rumbling overhead and breeze of wind.

“I don’t know!” the boy, a Tidemaker, beside her squinted, “Imber!” He lifted a hand to protect his eyes while focusing his view on the kneeled Grisha. A flash of light where her hands were plaed on the ground had him flinching. ‘What in the---.’ The spark occured once more. Chills filled his entire being as his eyes became saucers, falling to a whisper. “Saints above.”

Witnessing the sparks, an Inferni moved closer, ignoring the warning sent by the Tidemaker. “What is she doing?” His answer came by being blasted back by a gust of wind.

Imber let out a broken scream, head tilting back toward the sky as bolts of lightning released from her hands, igniting bouts of thunder in its wake. Gasps and shouts echoed around the Squaller from fellow Grisha and palace guards. The group behind her ran to find cover as the wind became too much, sending barrels and crates flying. Lightning and thunder, the duo reuniting as lost friends.

A sight to behold.

As the tears rolled down Imber’s cheeks, heavy rain soon replaced them. Drenching the lands of East Ravka for the first time in a hundred years.

For hours the girl remained kneeling on the grounds of the courtyard. Alone as everyone had seeked shelter within the Palace walls, letting the water from above coat her. The kefta she bore grew heavy. She paid no mind to it.

It wasn’t until she began to shiver from the freezing atmosphere that Imber retreated inside. Coming face to face with the reality of what transpired. As two guards escorted her to the throne room, Imber barely took notice of her peers watching the storm draw on from the windowsills. Some glanced at her in a mix of wonder, awe, and fear. Fear at the unknown, but wonder at what will be known.

Entering the throne room Imber was greeted by the King, Queen, Baghra, and the General of Ravka’s Second Army. Whereas the country’s monarchs were visibily bewildered at Imber, Baghra appeared impressed in comparison to the General’s excitement. Nerves consumed her on top of the immense grief Imber was experincing. Rain continued pelting the windows and roof of the Little Palace. Every once in a while, the occupants in the room flinched at the crack of thunder.

Upon making eye contact with the King, Imber bowed her head, curtseying as best she could with the weight of her soaked kefta. From there she underwent an hour of intense interrogation at the hands of the King and General. Baghra was questioned as well. Admitting she suspected the scale of Imber’s power but decided to stay quiet until the time came. The General, while pleased to know the world’s most powerful Squaller was among his ranks, voiced concern at the possibility of their enemies discovering her.

“Ravka has been praying for the day storms finally wash over her,” his tone was calm, almost haunting. Imber couldn’t look away as he moved toward her, tear stains painting her cheeks. “To save them from this wretching drought. Bring an end to this famine that has wiped away countless lives. Rain has touched grounds for the first time in over a century, Miss. Egorova. The people of Ravka are going to celebrate you. Erect statues on your name for being the hope they prayed for all these years.” he halted directly in front of her, keeping hold of her gaze it sent another wave of chills not relating to the cold clothes Imber wore.

“You are now the symbol of this dark period coming to its end. You are Sankta Imber of the Drought.”

“The storm lasted a fortnight, dispersing across Ravka’s lands until every inch had been touched by lightning. Yet the rain continued for months on end after the winds disappeared,” Nina recited the story etched into her brain. The crows silent as they took in her words. “Many say it was the raw grief of Imber losing her family that the storms were so strong. The constant rain marked as a symbol of her time in mourning.” The crows familiar with loss could relate. Kaz, Jesper, and Inej looking elsewhere than the Grisha.

Nina let out a breath, “Now whenever a powerful storm appears in Ravka, locals believe it to be Sankta Imber reminding them they will never experience a drought again. Famine will never touch their lands so long as she remains. Rain will be their protector, and she will be its champion.”

At the end of the Heartrender’s tale, Imber clasped her hands behind her back. “Nice to see my reputation still precedes me after all these years.” Chuckling, she took another step toward the group, “Still odd to hear myself spoken like a myth when I still live and breathe the same air as you.”

Again, no words could describe what the Crows were feeling at that moment. No one however was more shocked than Nina herself. And her reasons were far more than just being in the presence of a living Saint. “But you…”

Imber’s smirk turned to a soft smile, “Been some time since our last acquaintance, Nina Zenik.”

All eyes turned to the brunette, Kaz the first to speak, “What?” Not only was his mind racing, but now it was full of questions and doubts. They knew each other? But judging by Nina’s reaction, it was not all that meets the eye. She was stunned beyond belief like they were. “Care to explain, Zenik?”

Tensing by the tone of his voice, Nina sent him a light glare, “I don’t know her as Sankta Imber,” her eyes returned to the Grisha, this time showcasing betrayal as the memory of the woman in a blue kefta like her fellow Squallers appeared in her mind. “But as Commander Y/n Tempestasov of the Second Army.” Everyone felt the shift in the air at the mention of the Darkling’s army.

Why was one of the Darkling’s soldiers, a Saint at that, coming to them in the middle of the night? Traveling across the sea and saving them from Pekka’s men. There had to be a reason.

Kaz tightened the grip he had on his cane. Thinking back to events of the past several months. He would’ve recognized Imber, or Y/n, whatever she wanted to be called--at the Winter’s Fete. The kefta was unique; it would've captured anyone’s attention. As a powerful Squaller, Kirigan surely wanted her close to his side. Yet the Grisha had not been present on the skiff nor did Alina mention anything of meeting another living Saint.

Then there was the fact that the legends of Sankta Imber of the Drought were from nearly 300 years ago. It was believed she had died or dissapeared roughtly 20 years after she brought the storm to Ravka.

Meaning she’s been hiding in plain sight for centuries. A ghost among the living. Playing the role of a Second Army soldier under a false name to preserve her identity.

Another chuckle brought Kaz out of his thoughts, “Allow me to fill in the blanks, Crows,” Imber smirked at their reaction, “yes I know who you are. Do not doubt Nina’s loyalty--the last time we saw each other I was a different person. Roughly eight years if I’m correct,” bringing a hand to her chin, the Saint acted like she was deep in thought, “You’d only just arrived at the Little Palace before I escaped.”

“Escaped?”

Imber retained her posture, more serious than the initial laid back she had presented, “You’ve witnessed the evil General Kirigan is capabale of first hand.” they stayed silent, but each of their expressions faltered. “I discovered the scale of it a long time ago, after he made me a prisoner of the Little Palace under the guise of a trainer.” Nina bowed her head, the memory of Commander Y/n paroling the grounds where the Etherealki trained. She always appeared detached, but was kind to the young Grisha who had not yet succumbed to the corruption of the Darkling. “He was responsible for everyone believing I had died or dissapeared. After instilling fear in me at the thought of being captured by enemies, he had me locked in the caves of the Little Palace.” Inej let out a gasp, face consorting with sadness.

Imber shrugged, “sooner or later people stopped searching for me. Unaware I was close the entire time despire my storms becoming a blanket over Ravka for years. I was all but the myth you’ve heard.” Turning her head to Nina, Imber offered a soft smile, “It was years before he let me out. When he did I was named Commander under a false name and trained Grisha for centuries. Changing my name each time he did because someone asked too many questions and we had to clean up his mess. Y/n Tempestasov is the recent name of the many I’ve gone by. Frankly it’s my favorite if I’m being honest.”

“Would you prefer it if we called you that?” Wylan raised his hand, resulting in a side eye from Kaz at his formality. The Saint, however, smiled at him, “I’d like that. Imber Egorova…” she trailed off, connecting her gaze with Kaz as though she read him like a book. “She is of the past.”

Ignoring the weight on his chest, knowing damn well what the Saint was refering to, Kaz changed the subject. “Enough sentiment. You still haven’t said why you’re here.” The sound of his cane echoed on the pavement when he moved closer to her. “The Darkling might be dead but how are we to trust you’re not doing his bidding.”

The woman scoffed, obviously offended by the assumption, “Believe me, I hate the man more than anyone. Probably more than you and Alina combined.”

Jesper made a face of shock, voicing what they all thought, “You know Alina?”

“She sent me,” Y/n mused, shocking them more when she added, “And Kirigan is alive.”

“How is that possible?” Inej wondered aloud, unable to grasp the news.

“Turns out his own creation did not kill him after all. Instead he used merzost to create shadow monsters. Monsters that can only be destroyed with a certain blade that, like me, is also a legend.”

“Neshyenyer,” Kaz narrowed his eyes, waiting for her to call bluff. Y/n smirked in response.

“That is where you come in. We have some mutual friends, and they sent me to retrieve you lot to find the sword. Said you were the best of the best.” Hand going into her pocket, she removes a rolled parchment tied with a ribbon. “For your cooperation, the King of Ravka plans to generously compensate you.” She held it out to Kaz, “For you, Dirtyhands.”

He ignored the name, deciding not to question the depth of her knowledge on him and the Crows, and instead took the parchment. Once unfolded, he read the message inked onto its surface, detailing the extent of the mission and amount of kruge to be paid. He stopped at the name signed at the very end, ‘Nikolai Lantsov.’

‘Mutual friends,’ he remembered she said. Intuition telling him it was not only Alina and Mal the Saint referred to. Only person Kaz recalled that could likely be said aquaintance was a certain privateer.

Footsteps wandering away had the man look up, finding Y/n to take her leave. Kaz and Jesper flanked to his sides, the whole group watching her depart. “Come along, Crows,” she called out, the playfulness returning. “A storm is approaching.” light rain began to fall once more, followed by the sound of thunder in the distance. Kaz pictured the smile on her face by the tone of her voice. “And we’ve got work to do.”

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x fem!reader #inej ghafa #inej ghafa x reader #inej ghafa imagine #jesper fahey #jesper fahey imagine #nina zenik #nina zenik imagine #six of crows #SOC #six of crows imagine #grishaverse #grisha!reader #Saint!reader #grishaverse fanfic

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jahayla-parker · 1 year

Text

Dead: Kaz Brekker x Reader

Description: 5.8k wc, for the prompt of "You're supposed to be dead" originally for this request but I went overboard so I separated Kaz's!

Warnings: passive suicidal thoughts (NO action), mentions of death and injuries, trauma references, drinking, grief, loss, etc. and typical SOC/SAB trigger warnings

Maybe in the end, Kaz was meant to be alone.

It would make sense after all.

He certainly deserved to end up alone.

Yet, he must have done something right along the way.

After all, the universe, one of Inej’s saints, or whatever other force allegedly existed, had granted him y/n.

He never thought he’d be with anyone.

Kaz thought he was too far gone, too broken, too cruel, too numb, etc.

He never thought he'd be able to love someone; not after Jordie.

He thought he'd never let himself experience that sentiment ever again; much less express it.

He never thought he'd be able to become the person he now was.

That is until some unknown force brought the wonderfully undeserved presence that was Y/n into his life.

Despite his most aggressive and resistant behavior towards forming anything with her, he did.

Despite his toxic actions and inactions, she stuck around.

It was as if there was nothing that could tear them apart.

Not even Kaz’s phenomenal self-sabotage skills could make her give up on him.

However, at some point, Kaz allowed himself to become naive, ignorant, and lovesick.

In other words, Kaz Rietveld has taken control over the bastard's heart and mind when it came to her.

So much so that he’d allowed himself to fall into the position in which he was now facing.

A situation he swore he’d never find himself in.

Not again, anyways; not after having been there before due to Jordie.

Yet, here he was.

Alone in his chaotic mess of an office.

Drinking whatever Saint-forsaken thing he could find.

He knew he was cutting deep into the Crow Club's profits.

Kaz Brekker’s voice tauntingly scolded him despite Kaz Rietveld’s mind still being in control of his emotional state.

He desperately wished Dirtyhands would take over his mind and heart entirely.

It wouldn’t hurt then; or at least not as much.

He’d sworn to never let anyone get close enough for this to happen.

And yet, it had; she did.

He let her get close to him; he needed her to.

So, his naive Rietveld mentality had convinced the Kaz Brekker mentality he formed to learn to accept it.

Oh, how he wished he could go back and undo that acceptance.

But did he?

Is that really what he wanted?

To undo accepting her into his life?

Sure, he’d not be experiencing an excruciating sense of loss right now.

But was the lack of an excruciating sense of loss worth her absence in his life?

No.

Neither part of him believed that he'd choose anything over her.

Ironically, it didn’t matter.

He’d have to experience her absence one way or the other.

For now, it wasn’t anything he even had a choice in.

She was gone.

He could’ve saved her.

He should’ve saved her.

But he hadn’t.

And now, the Bastard found himself alone again.

For the first time in a long time.

And nothing, and no one, could cure the aching and longing loneliness he felt.

Not his sharpshooter, Jesper.

Not his Wraith, Inej.

Not his heartrender, Nina.

Not his demolitions expert, Wylan.

Not his Fjerdan, Matthias.

Not the countless bottles of alcohol he’d downed.

Not the overpriced scented candle Kaz gifted Y/n days prior that used to make him grin over how excited she would be to light it.

Not now that it sat on the nightstand, never to be used again.

Not the throwing of papers and plans he'd done upon entering his room.

Not the reminder that he'd experienced something similar before.

For while that was true, having chosen to risk this type of loss all over again made it much worse now.

And nothing, absolutely nothing, could erase the flashbacks in his mind.

They were there even if he didn’t close his eyes.

They were always there.

But she wasn't.

No one could pull him from the ceaseless sense of drowning inside him.

Not even himself.

None of his previously formed coping mechanisms worked.

No one could get him to open up and talk.

No one could get him to accept it.

No one could get him to heal from it.

No one could get him to move on from the immediate aftermath of her death.

Though, they’d tried.

Jesper had offered to show Kaz how to let go and decompress the way he would after a bad heist.

He knew the Bastard wouldn't talk to him about what he was experiencing, so he tried to help through action.

Yet, Kaz refused to follow Jesper around from gambling den to gambling den.

So, Wylan stepped in and tried to play some relaxing music for him.

Wylan knew music could be healing and calming, but despite his best efforts, Kaz remained the same.

Nina was the next to try but when she tried to loosen his muscles, Kaz snapped at her.

It was the one time he truly said much of anything since that night

But, it told them all they had to know.

Kaz Brekker was gone.

They didn't know who, if anyone, would form over time.

But, their boss -and dare to say it, friend- was no longer there.

Inej merely left a note on his desk that she was there to talk if he wished to do so; not wanting to push him when he was already suffering.

Matthias normally couldn't care less for the demjin, but when Kaz shouted for Nina to leave him be and that he didn't want the pain to leave his body, even Matthias felt sorry for him.

The Fjerdan knew immediately what Kaz was meaning.

He too was willing to feel the pain of his losses (his parents and sister) as it acted as some torturous connection to the person they'd lost.

So, he helped Inej make sure the Crow Club kept operating so Kaz would have one less worry whenever he came back to them.

So Kaz once again found himself alone.

It wasn’t truly the being alone that bothered him.

It was the fact he was alone because she was gone that was painful

He could handle being alone.

But he couldn’t handle being without her.

He couldn't stand living in a world in which she didn’t exist.

He’d contemplated removing that possibility.

After all, he'd taken down Pekka Rollins already.

And now that Y/n was gone, he truly had no purpose here anymore.

But he knew it wouldn’t matter.

Even if Inej was right about their being some form of afterlife, he wouldn’t see y/n after his death.

If such a thing existed, she’d have earned a spot in 'Heaven'.

She'd be somewhere Kaz would never be allowed.

Somewhere almost deserving of her presence.

He wasn’t sure where Jordie had ended up, assuming Inej was right.

He wanted to believe his brother would also go to 'Heaven'.

However, due to Kaz's lack of faith, he didn’t know what behaviors amounted to earning a spot in 'Heaven'.

Nor did he know what behaviors would remove someone from such a place.

For all he knew, the Saints could have some tally sheet of behaviors that they kept track of throughout one's life.

Perhaps y/n wouldn’t get to the highest level of afterlife either.

But, if you asked Kaz, he knew she deserved far higher than him; no matter what she may have had to do to survive before they'd met.

Y/n was far better than him.

Far better than he was.

Far better than he is.

Far better than he ever could’ve been.

Far better than he ever would be now.

And far better than he deserved.

So, regardless of what the Saints might demand to get in, he knew that he’d never see her again even if there were an afterlife.

That didn’t stop the thought of attempting to get to wherever she was from occurring day in and day out; despite the constant alcoholic buzz he had.

No amount of paperwork, liquor, Kruge, heists, etc. could distract him enough from missing her.

He felt her absence everywhere.

The same way he’d felt her presence just days before.

The presence he’d never feel again.

It wasn’t that he had forgotten it was possible to lose her.

He just pushed aside the fear of that pain for the -at the time- current comfort of being with her.

The guy who cared only about his own survival found someone he was ready to die for.

Yet, he was denied the chance to show her that.

Instead, he was forced to watch her die while he stood by helplessly.

He always accounted for everything.

But losing her was not something he could have seen coming.

It should’ve been.

He knows that.

But the idea was far too terrifying and painful to even contemplate, much less anticipate or prepare for.

So he hadn’t.

He always took measures to ensure her safety.

Certainly during heists.

Yet, it wasn't enough.

It wasn’t enough to save her.

He wasn’t enough.

He hadn’t been calculated enough.

He hadn't been smart enough.

He hadn’t been focused enough.

When it came down to it, he hadn’t been enough.

And now she was gone.

And the only person he could truly blame was himself.

Of course, by now each of the opposing parties had been dealt with in a very Kaz-like manner.

He hadn't done so with the hopes that it would’ve eased his pain or his guilt.

He knew it wouldn’t.

But he couldn’t let them get away with it either.

She deserved better.

The least he could do was take their lives the way they took hers.

Yet, it did nothing to lower the waves -that normally rose to his chest- that now nearly reached his nose.

Nor did it do the one thing he was truly desperate for.

The bastard of the Barrel was never one to be seen as desperate.

Well, apart from having been desperate for revenge against Pekka; and perhaps Kruge.

But even so, that desperation was kept in check.

However, this was not.

And Kaz didn’t bother to pretend otherwise.

He couldn’t muster the energy to maintain his normally stoic demeanor to the full extent.

To most who didn’t know him, he probably looked like the same careless Barrel boss as before.

But those closest to him, his crows, and even some of the closer dregs saw the drastic change in him that night.

He’d always been troubled and plagued with his past and his losses.

But he now seemed haunted and hallowed by them.

No one knew what to do and they’d all been grieving in their own rights so no one found a way to truly comfort him.

Not that any attempt would be successful; as Kaz did not see himself coming back from this one.

Y/n had helped him with the trauma surrounding his brother Jordie.

But no one would be capable of helping him with the trauma of losing her.

He knew she had more power and impact on him than he’d ever care to admit.

But by the time he knew this, he was too far gone to effectively resist.

Losing her was like not only losing a part of himself but himself altogether.

He lost the drive that Kaz Brekker had.

His immediate anger and heartbreak had alleviated the people who played a role in her passing.

He now had no one to hunt, scheme against, nor harm.

No one to blame.

No one but himself.

And yet, even he knew that no one could have seen this coming.

Not even Dirtyhands Kaz Brekker.

Yet, he was the only option he had as a source to assign blame to.

Nonetheless, he lost the confidence and passion that the Barrell boss once had.

He lost the small spark of light that y/n instilled in him.

The light that made him believe even Kaz Brekker deserved a happy ending.

Now he was resigned to the fact he was clearly meant to end up alone.

If only he’d stuck with that belief, perhaps she would still be here.

He lost the happiness he’d worked so hard to accept from her.

She had been his one true source of happiness.

The crows and successful heists brought similar emotions.

But, only through y/n was he able to truly appreciate all of it.

He also lost what remained of poor, pathetic, little, Kaz Rietveld.

Any innocence that may have lingered deep down inside of him after Jordie’s death was now undoubtedly erased after y/n’s.

Any kindness or compassion he felt towards others felt ripped away from him as he fell into a numb state of being.

He hadn’t accounted for what his life would be like if she’d passed.

If anyone had asked prior to that night, he’d have told them he would be fine.

Of course he would, he’d have said, after all he’d experienced loss before.

And it drove him.

But even with Jordie, he didn’t truly survive.

A new version of him did, but he wasn’t the same.

Not until y/n had managed to resurrect what remained of the original version of himself.

Now both versions were destroyed and he didn’t know where that left him.

Other than in his office, endlessly drinking liquor as if it were a life source, and feeling sorry for himself.

Oh, if only Dirtyhands Kaz Brekker could see himself right now.

------

Kaz had drunk himself into such a stupor that he didn't hear the knock on his door.

It was now several nights after the incident and he hadn’t emerged from his chambers in well over 48 hours now.

So, unbeknownst to him, their home had an unexpected presence.

After much debate, the crows had agreed to step back and allow Kaz to contact the presence first.

Hence why Wylan's knocking increased in tempo; as if trying to show the urgency behind it.

Yet, the sound merely reverberated off the walls of Kaz's room without him noticing.

From the other side of the door, Jesper huffed loudly.

He signaled for the others to move back; ready to take whatever drastic measures it took to alert his best friend to the news he knew Kaz needed.

Nina gently placed her hands on her friends' shoulders and guided them away from the doorway.

Jesper smirked at the girls beside him before he aggressively kicked the wooden door, his smirk growing as the wood splintered and the door swung open.

“Kaz” Jesper said firmly as the crows all squinted in order to adjust to the dim lighting of his room.

Kaz either didn’t hear Jesper or chose to ignore him.

Instead of responding, he merely sipped on the amber liquid in his glass.

“We should leave you to it” Inej suggested, giving her friend a smile and shoulder squeeze before having to all but drag the others away.

Kaz’s eyes never changed from the distant look they had seemingly taken on before they'd entered.

He hadn’t moved one millimeter other than to take another sip of his drink.

Anyone could see the state of distress the Bastard had been in by just seeing the state of his room.

There was broken glass and other debris around the room, empty liquor bottles piled up in an overflowing garbage bin, an unusual lack of papers/plans on his desk, etc.

The phsyical state of his room along with the completely dissociated gaze his eyes held broke y/n’s heart as tears slowly rolled down her cheeks.

She wasn’t sure what she expected after that night.

She knew he likely thought she was dead.

After all, she thought she was going to be.

She should’ve been.

She knew Kaz loved her, in his own way.

So she expected some kind of reaction to her apparent death.

But, she hadn’t expected this.

She hadn’t wanted this.

Shed made her way back to their home as quickly and safely as she reasonably could.

It had taken over a day to do so, but she didn’t want Kaz’s crew or their fellow Crows to spot her.

She knew they’d immediately tell Kaz and given that he’d seen her fall after being shot, she knew he’d lash out at the reporting party for spreading gossip.

She hoped she could make it to him undetected but quickly enough to prevent him from much grief.

But even though it hadn’t taken her much more than a day to reach him, he seemed to have already spiraled.

She took a deep breath and slowly walked closer to his desk.

Y/n hated how his eyes never left his glass despite her movements.

He was never this unobservant.

Or perhaps he no longer cared nor had the energy to bother with his surroundings.

Either way, she hated this.

Y/n cautiously set a hand over the far side of the rim on his glass as she tried to block him from taking another slug of the beverage.

She watched as his body reacted slowly.

While it took much longer than normal, his reaction was enough to show Kaz had been able to sense a change, which was more than she’d gotten so far.

Kaz’s glazed eyes dragged upwards from his glass to her face in a painstakingly glacial pace.

When they finally landed on her, he froze for a moment, his eyes now appearing needy and hungry.

Once his eyes seemed to take in her presence, they shut tightly as his body shook.

Y/n swallowed thickly as uncharacteristic tears pushed their way through Kaz’s closed eyes and down his face.

“Kaz” y/n whispered.

She wanted so badly to kneel by his desk as to be closer to him, but her wounded leg wouldn��t let her.

She watched as he slammed his glass down, the liquid splashing out the rim onto his desk.

He drug his hand down his face and gripped the edge of the desk “fuck”.

Y/n saw he was wearing his gloves despite being alone in his room and her heart somehow hurt even more.

He hadn’t done that in years.

Yet, here he was, unable to handle the feeling of even his own skin.

“Kaz, please talk to me” she tried again, desperately wanting to help him.

She watched as a sob shook his body and barely squeaked past his lips.

The sound made her own tears fall faster.

“Love, I want to help-“ y/n whispered after giving themselves a moment to regain their composure.

“You’re not real! Just fucking stop” Kaz shouted, both of his hands flying to his face.

One of his hands began pulling at his hair until it hurt, the other pinching the bridge of his nose.

He felt insane.

He knew he’d been drinking far too much.

Perhaps this illusion before him was somehow his consequence.

Y/n watched him closely, unsure how to reach him.

They’d worked on his touch aversion before but now hardly seemed like the time to push it.

“Kaz, I am real” she spoke tenderly, watching his body language for any signs of him listening to her.

He only shook his head and stifled another sob.

Y/n sniffled and audibly took a deep breath, “I know… and I’m sorry, I came as fast as I could-”.

“It… it isn’t… it is not possible” Kaz repeated to himself.

“Look at me, please. Kaz I need to see your eyes” y/n begged.

It would usually work as Kaz knew how comforting it was to look into her eyes so he’d always returned the favor when prompted.

However, y/n watched his fingers grip together tightly as he resisted looking up at her.

“Look I tried to… I know I was bleeding…-“ she began trying to explain but was uncertain how to do so.

“Hey, see my leg? That’s from the fall, but I’m not dead” y/n attempted, pointing down at her excessively bandaged leg.

Kaz shook his head defiantly, not glancing up from the desk.

There was no way she didn’t die, he’d seen her fall.

He’d never have left her if he didn’t know she was dead

Even when he knew, Mathias had to shove and push him back to the club as his body froze at the sight.

All of his survival instants evaporated when he watched her fall to her death.

He threw up the contents of his stomach once he’d made it back and realized Matthias had been touching him the whole time.

So, he knew this illusion before him had to be wrong.

But he couldn’t figure out why his mind would do this to him.

Because, despite the illusion of her presence in this moment, Kaz had the image of her death burned in his mind.

The image had played in his mind on endless loop for hours, hence the never ending flow of alcohol.

Seeing his once again distant stare, y/n sighed, “Kaz I’m alive… it’s me, I promise. I’m okay, I’m not dead”.

Kaz’s brain replayed the torturous flashback upon hearing her words.

His eyes stared blankly ahead at the wall as his mind once again recalled the night he’d lost her.

The heist had gone wrong, the crows were detected far earlier than planned due to the sudden rainfall.

The intense rainfall diminished the fog Wylan’s explosives were supposed to offer, prompting the guards of the house they were fleeing to spot them much faster than anticipated.

This meant everyone was rushing back to the Crow Club and not as attentive to their surroundings.

Well, everyone but Kaz.

Kaz, of course, stayed as attentive as always.

He saw the way the water was gathering in the sight depressed areas of the old roofs.

He warned y/n and Inej to be cautious and aware of them.

But they still had to hurry nonetheless in order to not be caught.

Kaz was a few feet behind on the ground when it happened.

He watched in horror as a bullet pierced her left shoulder, making her dodge to the right in response.

But as she did, she lost her footing when she stepped into the small puddle of water that had formed in a small bowl shape indentation on the roof.

Kaz watched as her ankle buckled and she fell to her side, her upper body hanging over the edge.

Kaz had unconsciously begun to painfully climb the stairs on the side of the building.

Despite the pain in his legs he needed to reach her before the situation worsened.

So he pressed on, reaching the top rather quickly.

But as he pushed himself onto the roof, he could only watch as the guard shoved her lower body off the slanted roof.

It took only seconds for Kaz to disarm the guard and turn him into a bloody withering mess.

As the man slid off the roof, Kaz neared the edge only to see the exact thing he feared he’d see.

Her limp body was laid there, eyes open but blank, blood puddled around her shoulder and head.

He pressed his cane into the roof more to stabilize himself as the rain continued to gush down on him.

He stared at her, waiting for her chest to begin rising and falling again.

It had to.

She had to be okay.

He wasn’t able to think clearly enough to even question it when something suddenly shoved him away from the scene.

His eyes may have physically left the scene at that moment, but the image of her limp frame was already burned into his retinas.

And that image was all he saw until he’d arrived back at the club.

And that image was what continued to haunt him now.

Kaz slowly came back to the present moment, his body trembling and lip bleeding from biting it so aggressively.

He looked up at the illusion of her and glared, “I don’t know what alleged Saint I’ve wronged, but what kind of Saint does this to someone?!”

With a sorrowful look in her eyes, she shook her head, “Kaz, there’s no Saint involved. It’s me, it’s y/n”.

Seeing the anger and disbelief still in his eyes, she closed the distance and smiled softly.

She set her hand palm upwards on his desk, as an invite for him to touch her and see that she was real; if he were able to.

It took several silent minutes of him staring at her hand before he moved.

But, when he did, he reluctantly removed one glove and placed his fingertips against her palm.

His chair squeaked against the floor as he jumped at the feeling of her hand against his fingers.

The feeling he knew and cherished.

As his eyes became glassier, Kaz adjusted so he could firmly place his fingers over her wrist in search of her pulse.

When he acknowledged there was in fact a pulse, his grip on her wrist tightened some.

“B-but-..” He cleared his throat, eyes fierce as they looked up at her in frustration, “You’re supposed to be dead!”

“I’m not though, Kaz” she assured him with a delicate smile.

When he removed his hand from hers to out his glove back on, she waited for him to speak.

However when he didn’t soften his intense glare, she spoke again.

“If you prefer that though..” She teases hoping to break the tension, “I can just-“

“Don’t” Kaz’s raspy voice demanded as he abruptly stood.

He let his eyes scan her whole body slowly.

Both in search of injuries or signs of her fall, and in searches of all the tiny details only he knew.

Like the way she had a faint scar on her elbow from a fight she’d won the night Kaz met her.

Or the details he memorized in the way that she would stand when nervous.

Once he’d had adequate time to take in her appearance, she softly assured him, “I’m here Kaz. It’s me”.

“I thought…” his voice broke and he cleared his throat as to not sound weak when speaking again.

“I lost you” He stated, eyes furrowed as he looked at her.

“Kaz you didn’t-“ she sighed sympathetically as she scanned the pain in his features.

“Yes I did” He corrected, sitting down when his legs shook.

“Losing you was a nightmare that I begged every day to awake from." He admitted, resting his sweaty forehead in his gloved palms as he propped himself up with the support of his desk.

She drug over a chair, her chair that was across the room when she’d arrived.

Sitting beside him without touching him, she spoke softly, “you’ve awakened from it now Kaz. I’m so sorry it to me so long to-“.

“How?” He cut in, eyes dazed as he looked at her.

“How?” She asked, uncertain which topic he was referencing.

“How did you survive? You- he cleared his throat you stopped breathing and the … blood..” he whispered, his gravely voice thicker than normal.

She nodded, “Nina’s friend, Lieke, from the little palace? Well, she happened to be nearby”.

“She’s a heartrenderer?” Kaz asked, racking his brain to see if he already knew this.

Y/n nodded again, “I’d never met her, but Lieke said she owed Nina a favor”.

Kaz was silent as his mind tried to play through it to make sure this wasn’t some twisted scheme.

Y/n knew from the look on his face what he was doing

So, she continued her weak attempt at explaining the situation she barely came to terms with herself.

“I guess she recognized me and us all, thanks to Nina’s stories and your reputation, so when she saw me … fall…” she whispered.

“She waited until it was safe and then she took me in and patched me up. She said I wasn’t awake for a few days… So,.. so I had a late start getting here. I’m sorry-” y/n frowned.

“Don’t” Kaz barked harshly, closing his eyes in guilt at his outburst.

After a moment of tense silence, he took a shaky breath and continued.

“Do not apologize for that” Kaz demanded, “I don’t care how long it took”.

She gave him a thankful timid smile as he glanced up at her.

“I shouldn’t have left you” he said, his voice laced with guilt.

“Kaz, you thought-” she argued, her voice far more sympathetic than Kaz felt he deserved.

“I know what I thought” he snapped, his eyes glazing over again.

“There is no greater terror than watching something you love fall right in front of your eyes” Kaz remarked, staring straight ahead.

“L-love?” Y/n asked, a small gasp escaping her lips.

He nodded once firmly, moving so his eyes were now staring into hers.

She knew he loved her but he hadn��t been able to say it before.

“I love you too Kaz. I’m here, you can breathe now” she calmly said, giving him a tender smile.

Kaz stared at her silently.

He needed to say it.

He wanted to say it.

He thought he had missed his chance before.

He couldn’t risk missing it again now that she was here.

This wasn’t how he thought he’d finally say it to her whenever he found the nerve to.

But, he supposed it was also kinda fitting for them.

“I do” he started, taking a deep inhale upon seeing her confusion, “I do ..love you.”

Her lips snapped up into a wide grin as she gazed lovingly back at him.

“I love you” Kaz repeated, more confidently this time.

She stood up beside his desk, setting her wrist out on his table again.

Kaz glanced at her before tugging off his gloves and gripping her wrist, fingers splayed crossed her pulse.

He closed his eyes as he fought the urge to puke.

But, as his fingers met her skin, her warmth and steady heartbeat under his fingertips was distraction enough.

And the fact it meant she was here and alive was rewarding and calming to him.

When he opened his eyes he saw she’d been switching between watching him and looking at the room.

Kaz instantly became aware of the state of his room.

He felt kiss cheeks warm faintly, “I’ll clean it up”.

She shook her head, tentatively reaching her fingers toward his forehead.

They had touched more than this before, but he was appreciative that she was cautious given everything that’d transpired the last week.

He wasn’t sure how he’d react either.

He nodded at her in approval and his heart fluttered warmly as she delicately pushed some stray hairs from his forehead.

For a few minutes they silently stared at each other, staying like that with her fingers minimally touching his forehead.

“I can’t imagine what you’ve been feeling Kaz” she told him sorrowfully.

Dirtyhands fought with him to stay silent, the way he’d done since the incident happened.

Yet, the fragmented pieces of Kaz Rietveld crawled their way through his walls and told him to open up to her.

He could see the look in her eyes and knew from the tone of her voice that she wanted to understand how he’d been since they last were together.

So, despite his reluctance, he let the pieces of his former self - the ones he thought had died with her-reignite.

“I wanted to scream” he began shyly.

“ I wanted to burst into tears, I wanted to die, but all I could do was stare at the wall in silence and drink” Kaz admitted, motioning to the bottles scattering the floor.

She hummed softly, moving her hand that was near his forehead to place it on top of his hand that had been resting in her other palm.

Kaz closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, but as she went to pull away, he pressed his other hand over hers silently to keep it in place.

When he reopened his eyes he lifted a hand up to cup her cheek, “you’re here”.

She moved closer, “I am. I’m here”.

Kaz gave her cheek a tender stroke with his thumb as he offered her a smile; the kind only she ever got to see.

“No more rooftops” Kaz said, abruptly pulling back and writing something on a piece of paper he grabbed from the floor.

Y/n smirked and rolled her eyes.

Normally she’d argue with him about his overprotective behavior, but she knew better.

She didn’t want to imagine how she’d have been if the roles were reversed.

So instead, she nodded slowly when he looked up at her waiting on her annoyed argument he expected.

He let out a soft sigh of relief and gave her a small nod before he resumed scribbling, “The heartrender was Lieke, you said?”

Y/n smiled and nodded, “Lieke Abspoel. Super nice, from the Little Palace. That’s all I’ve got. Nina probably has more information on her.”

Kaz nodded and made a note to have Zenik bring this heartrender to him later.

For now, he planned to let himself enjoy the moment.

Sensing he was staring at her as she looked around the room, y/n turned back to him.

Smiling softly she walked to the bookshelf across the room and grabbed the hard spine of a book.

Kaz only realized in that moment that when he’d been staring off at the wall, he has actually been staring at that particular book without realizing it.

When she sat on the ledge of his window perch, Kaz routinely joined her, taking the book from her hands.

As he read the title, he felt his face warm and he grinned faintly.

The book he’d been unknowingly staring at the whole time was her favorite book.

Of course it was.

Dirtyhands wanted to smack himself for the loving and soft thoughts floating through his mind right now, but Kaz didn’t care.

He was just glad he hasn’t an actually lost her.

After reading the first line, he abruptly stood up and placed the book down.

Y/n watched in confusion as he dragged his desk chair over to her.

With her nonverbal approval, Kaz tenderly lifted her leg up onto it.

He glanced from the injured leg to her face and she smiled reassuringly “she could only do so much, she said it’ll take another week or so to fully set, but it doesn’t hurt”.

“You shouldn’t have walked here “ Kaz told her, almost scolding her.

She shook her head, “I needed to see you, couldn’t have you thinking you should be moving on without me”.

His eyes snapped to hers and he gave her a firm stare even if she’d been teasing, he wasn’t, “that wouldn’t ever happen”.

She hummed softly and nodded.

He slowly rejoined her, opening the book and holding it just above her leg closest to him as he prepared to read to her.

While he knew things would likely return to normal in the coming weeks, he would always cherish this moment.

Kaz had his girl back.

And now, he knew of additional ways to keep her safe.

Including, perhaps hiring a second heartrender to be on call should the need arise.

Kaz Brekker Navigation/Masterlist

Six of Crows Navigation/Masterlist

Grishaverse Navigation/Masterlist

Freddy Carter Navigation/Masterlist

Main Navigation/Masterlist (All My Works)

Current tag list (comment here to added): @directioner5life @ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @brekkershadowsinger @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx

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roselibrary · 1 year

Text

𝐏𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 || 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

The Darkling x OC Brekker/Rietveld (Grisha Character)

Trigger Warnings: none

Summary: the generals night sky was what they called her. She made his world glow and in doing so he promised her anything she wished.

Requests are open!

Kaz Brekker often wondered if his sister missed him. He wondered if she ever reminisced about her time with them before she went away. Before she became Grisha. His memory is faint, but he remembers well enough the bright grin, kind eyes that shone their brightest in the dark, the long dresses she favoured and the tight corsets that he only now understands were used as a means of attracting attention. His sister had adored that. Adored the attention her gift gave her. She shone like the stars she commanded flying fast and free and blinked out of sight in his mind just as they did each night. His sister was a shooting star one that had long since left his atmosphere with no intention of returning.

Kaz Brekker remembered the day they came. The red keftas and the blue all stood fiercely in front of his sister who held her otherworldly glow. Then he came, tall, dark, and fierce; a black kefta that swirled about him just as his shadows did. He brought forth the darkness and Kaz watched as his sister glowed; he watched as the stars filled the man's shadows and encircled them both like they, too, were constellations in the sky. Kaz knew, as he hid behind barrels with his brother, that their lives would never be the same again. His sister had always wanted more and as he saw the adoration, greed and, what he would soon come to understand as, lust take hold of the one they called the Darkling he knew his sister would fly away. She, too, had the same look reflected in her own gaze; two souls connected as one that fateful day on a long-forgotten farm. The darkness embraced the stars and in doing so intertwined two souls who would never be parted.

Kaz remembers the shock in his eyes when the darkness faded, and the sun reigned supreme once more. He saw those in red turn swiftly in his direction taking hold of himself and his brother. He watched as his sister's eyes glimmered with something akin to regret and grief before it was gone replaced with that dazzling glow and ethereal smile as she knelt before Kaz.

“Sweet brother, I must leave now. You understand, don’t you? I have to go and help those who are like me but do not worry I will visit,” poor sweet Kaz could not tell how brittle his saint-like sister's smile truly was, “Jordie will look after you, won't you?” his sister turned her head to his elder brother whom was stock still withholding tears he knew couldn’t fall; lest his younger brother realise the true magnitude of this goodbye. Unable to speak the eldest of the two boys simply nodded his head once and swallowed the lump in his throat. The sister's smile faltered for a moment and a degree of hesitancy took up on her visage - at least it did until the hand of a general grasped her own and the assuredness returned tenfold. Once more turning her gaze to her younger brother she smiled sweetly and embraced him for a final time.

A gentle kiss to his forehead and a whispered promise gone on the wind was the last Kaz Brekker felt of his sister before she was swept away in a swirl of black. Ushered into a carriage and lost in the gaze of a man whose eyes were as dark as the night sky, never to be seen again.

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writerofthewinds · 1 year

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Nikolai Lantsov NSFW Alphabet

A/N: Sorry for taking so much time I'm writing and completing all my requests, so I upload them gradually.

Nikolai Lantsov NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare: Nikolai takes aftercare seriously and makes sure his partner is comfortable and well taken care of after sex. He likes to cuddle and talk, asking if everything was alright and if they enjoyed themselves.

B = Body part: Nikolai's favorite body part of his partner is their lips. He loves how soft they are and how they feel against his own lips. As for his own favorite body part, he is proud of his toned abs.

C = Cum: Nikolai loves to watch his partner cum, especially when it's all over his chest or stomach. He also enjoys cumming on his partner's back and face.

D = Dirty secret: Nikolai has a fetish for being submissive in bed. He likes it when his partner takes control and dominates him.(his partner basically being a power bottom)

E = Experience: Nikolai is experienced and knows exactly what he's doing. He's had his fair share of sexual partners and has explored different kinks and positions. (he's a mix of princess slut and loser)

F = Favorite position: Nikolai's favorite position is doggy style. He loves being able to grab onto his partner's hips and thrust deep inside of them. (better smack ma ass like a drum)

G = Goofy: Nikolai can be pretty humorous during sex, cracking jokes and making his partner laugh. But he also knows when to be serious and passionate.

H = Hair: Nikolai keeps himself well-groomed down there, with a neatly trimmed patch of hair above his cock. He also prefers his partners to have some hair but is open to any style. (if you want to shave, he doesn't give a fuck.

I = Intimacy: Nikolai is very romantic and intimate during sex. He loves kissing and caressing his partner, ensuring they feel loved and cherished.(he seducing me fr)

J = Jack off: When he's alone, Nikolai likes to use his hand and imagines his partner moaning and writhing underneath him.

K = Kink: Nikolai has a kink for bondage and loves to tie his partner up and have his way with them. He also enjoys incorporating food into his sexual play.

L = Location: Nikolai enjoys having sex in unusual places, such as on the deck of a ship(his ship, to be precise lol) or in a private garden. But his favorite place to have sex is in his luxurious bedroom, surrounded by his wealth and power.

M = Motivation: What turns Nikolai on the most is the thought of his partner being submissive to him, letting him take control and dominate them.(he like it when I bend over and I arch my back)

N = No: Nikolai is not into anything that involves pain or humiliation. He also doesn't like anything too extreme or dangerous.

O = Oral: Nikolai is skilled in both giving and receiving oral. He loves to go down on his partner, tasting their sweetness and feeling them squirm beneath him. He also enjoys having his cock sucked, especially when his partner deepthroats him feeling his throat convulsing around his cock, milking him dry.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Nikolai is adaptable when it comes to pace. Depending on the mood and the situation, he can switch from slow and sensual to fast and rough in a heartbeat.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Nikolai loves quickies. He enjoys the thrill of the moment and the rush of adrenaline that comes with it. He wouldn't mind having them often, but he's also aware that sometimes you must take your time to truly savor the experience.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.) Nikolai is a risk-taker by nature, and that extends to his sexual life as well. He's open to experimenting and trying new things, and he's not afraid of taking risks if it means he'll have a good time.(danger adventure and sex baby)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?) Nikolai has impressive stamina. He can go for multiple rounds and last for quite some time, especially if he's really into it. He enjoys testing his limits and pushing himself to go further.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Nikolai doesn't really use toys, but he's not opposed to them either. He's open to using them with a partner if they're interested, but he prefers to rely on his own skills and abilities to please his partner.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Nikolai loves to tease his partner. He enjoys seeing them squirm and beg for more, and he's not above withholding pleasure to get them to that point. (then when u tease this bish, he's gonna whine, lol)

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Nikolai is not a quiet lover. He likes to vocalize his pleasure and make his partner feel desired and appreciated. He's not shy about moaning, groaning, or even screaming if the moment calls for it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) Nikolai likes to experiment with food during sex. He finds it exciting to incorporate different tastes and textures into the experience, and he's not afraid to get a little messy in the process.(like covering his dick with honey and making u suck it until he comes)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) Nikolai is well-endowed, with a thick and long penis ideally suited for giving his partner plenty of pleasure. His member is also quite veiny, which makes for an interesting visual experience during sex. (around 8 to 9 inches).

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Nikolai has a high sex drive and a deep yearning for physical intimacy. He loves the feeling of being close to someone and the pleasure that comes with it, and he's always eager to explore new aspects of his sexuality.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward). Nikolai usually falls asleep pretty quickly after sex. He's exhausted from the physical exertion and the emotional intensity of the experience, and he likes to bask in the afterglow before drifting off to sleep.

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wh0refornikolailantsov · 1 year

Text

Everyone's Fate Is Up To The Saints, Except Hers - Tolya Yul-Bataar

Prompt: “If you wish to keep your fingers, I’d take your hands off her.”

Warnings: Canon Compliant Threat

This is really just a drabble but what can ya do.

Not proofread because "no beta we die like men"

Had anyone asked, Tolya would have made it very clear that he 'never doubted her for a moment', that 'her capability was easily beyond that of the task at hand' and he knew, given the opportunity, 'she would've likely taken it on alone'. But Sturmhond, in a brief moment of clear insight, had drawn the conclusion that Tolya would have been very little help carrying out his duties if his mind had been following someone out on the mission. Waiting, wondering and worrying were three things not very conducive with carrying out duties to their requirement. So Sturmhond sent the both of them. No one questioned him, everyone else because he is the captain, but Tamar because she held the same knowledge that Sturmhond had based his call on: her twin for all his openness and cheer, was not letting on quite how deep the river of his care flowed when it came to one particular crewmate.

The she in question, had picked up a pace while Tolya had been somewhat lost in his thoughts.

"Falling behind there sesh?" You ask, turning around with a wicked grin, continuing to walk in the direction you both were headed, but now watching Tolya instead of the path. Walking backwards was something you had gotten very good at with the years of sword training, if you lean to step back with balance enough times, learning to follow the pattern is easy. Yet now, it was certainly more to show off than for practical use.

"You're still not using that correctly," Tolya smiled, an abundance of laughter in his voice. His shadow was being cast by a far off light and the distance made the silhouette looking deceivingly small, compared to the reality. Tolya was just as tall as he was handsome, which is to say more so than anyone really hard the right to be.

"Well if you gave in and told me the word I am looking for," you tease, the sentence hung in the air, feeling unfinished and incomplete. But the years have taught Tolya that sometimes you spoke in half, and it was up to the one hearing the words to decide if it was their turn.

"I will not teach you words in Shu just so you can mock me," he means the words he is saying but his tone is far from mean.

"I'm not mocking you," you defend. "I'm attempting to describe you."

"Describe me in your own language," he pulls his graze away, hoping that maybe if he stops staring, you might start looking where you're going, but to no avail.

"So you'll read me poetry in a language I do not know, but you shall not teach it to me?"

"Not when I know your interest lies in different intent, if you wish to understand the poem I'll happily explain it-" he is suddenly silence by a quiet and quick whistle, a signal that stops him in his tracks.

You look on edge, looking around the dim lit street with such concentration and apprehension that Tolya notices how small it makes you look, the fear. He isn't used to seeing you look afraid.

"Sorry," you say pulling yourself back in, raning it back and composing yourself. "I didn't mean to interrupt you when it's about poetry."

"I don't take it personally," he says. "You know Tamar well enough."

"Exactly, I try to let you talk about it as much as possible when there is no one to tell you to stop," the comment is offhand and absentminded, you hadn't meant much by it. It was a truth, and you did not choose to shy from the truth often, but it wasn't something you had meant to declare in any kind of way. Yet the look in Tolya's eyes makes you run the words back, trying to find the secret of the universe, the strangely powerful compliment that had to be hidden in the words you'd spoken without a second thought.

"Thank you," he says, his voice so soft, it hits like whisper.

"There's no need, there are few ways to show someone how you matter to them, and this is mine," if you had to break it down, the moments before, the reasons that this moment unfolds, you could lay out each factor in pieces. The light being so low. The quietness being so rare that sound is a welcome visitor and therefore can lull into a false sense of security. Maybe even your own foolishness, having not turned around despite your previous scare. But if you were honest with yourself, truly honest, it was not your ego or your environment that betrayed you in this small moment. It was your heart. Had you not been searching for something tangible in the unspoken distance between the two of you, there was no way someone could have gotten close enough to place a blade into the small of your back before you reached for your weapon.

"I wouldn't try it," the blade is pushed closer as you move for the weapon, the voice is dark and quiet, but the accent isn't from around here, and there's a gruffness that shows the man's age.

"I am guessing you are exactly who we are looking for," you reply. Tolya reached for his own blade the moment the assailant had stepped out of the dark, he holds it tight and his eyes are fixed over your shoulder. "We aren't here for a fight."

"Tell that to your friend," the man replies.

"Tolya," you say calmly. Tolya is reasonable, Tolya is smart and above all Tolya knows better than most, much better than his twin, when there's not a need for a fight. But he doesn't look willing to backdown.

"Perhaps I might be more inclined to step down if you remove the blade from my friends back," Tolya says slowly.

A hand grips your shoulder tight, and the blade moves from your spine to your side. A much more defendable position, but a still a threat. "Better?" The man asks.

"If you wish to keep your fingers, I’d take your hands off her.”

You watch him and your heart, against your practiced calm, races in your chest and his eyes flicker to meet yours. It dawns on you why he hasn't calmed the situation, why he is defensive and not quite like his normal self. He senses your confusion, your fear and he is not used to that in you. He isn't paying attention to the man's heartbeat or his emotions because he is still fixed on you. And that realisation makes your heart jump in a way you should know better than to let it do, and Tolya feels it. "He won't repeat himself," you tell the man, and he drops the blade to his side. "We were sent to get you, alive was the preference."

"Who sent you?" The man asks.

"Sturmhond," Tolya explains, listening to his heart now, sensing the fear, the anger, the loss. "We are here to help." Tolya's expression softens, he has been in the world and really seen enough of it to know that there's danger in the most unexpecting of places, but one of the many things about him that is never unsurprising, is how he still sees the opportunity for kindness and grace amongst them.

Sturmhond stares at the two of them and is quick to dismiss Tolya, who walks out on the deck and is soon shoulder to shoulder with Tamar.

"You seem tense brother," she muses, eager to hear what had happened.

"I shouldn't have gone," he thinks aloud. Tamar frowns.

"How did you come to that ridiculous conclusion?" She asks, pulling at a piece of the bread she is eating.

"Because it was my presence that made her vulnerable," he explains. "She was scared, I've not seen her scared before."

"Are you sure it was fear, and not anxiety?" Tamar asks nonchalantly. "Besides, Everyone's fate is up to the saints, is it not?"

"Not hers," Tolya says without pausing to think. Tamar gives him a side glance and he shoves her shoulder.

"Not hers?" Tamar echoes. "Not if you can help it."

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #grisha #tolya x reader #tolya yul bataar #x reader #six of crows #tolya #imagine #prompt fic #tolya and tamar #Spotify

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beautysamour · 1 year

Text

Wrong destination | chapter two.

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary: After running into Alina and Mal, the three of you try to get out of Noyvi Zem before getting caught. This leads you to another encounter that you’re sure will mess up the time line.

warning/s: none

taglist: @spellsofavalon @vera0124

enjoy!

“Only two ships in a harbor town? Something’s not right.”

The three of you were currently hiding between some barrels, the current plan was to escape by ship.

“Maybe Bohdan ordered them away,” suggested Alina, “But the first army doesn’t have jurisdiction here,” Mal replied quickly.

You’ve read some books about the first army but you weren’t a hundred percent educated on them. You found the first grisha queen’s story a lot more interesting, and inspiring.

You didn’t speak up at all during the conversation between the two and felt especially awkward when Mal leaned his forehead against hers, you felt like you weren’t supposed to be there.

Which you weren’t, but whatever.

The three of you stepped away from the barrels and began to walk towards the people in front of the ship. You clenched your fists on the walk down; Alina suggested bribing them with 20 million kruge, but you were still on edge from the fight from earlier.

When you reached the people at the ship, Alina outstretched an arm to them handing them a piece of gold, “It’s gold,” she says.

The girl who Alina handed the gold to, took it and- bit it.

“That’ll do,” she said before turning back to a young man behind her, handing him the piece of gold. The young man examined the piece of gold on his own before fully confirming to himself that it was real gold.

“Come on then, hurry up. I’ll take you to the captain.”

Apart of you was actually excited, you were going to be traveling with pirates, not everyone from your time can say they’ve done that. You tried to contain your excitement though, you didn’t want anyone to think you were suspicious.

You were about to say thank you and enter the ship before someone called out for you-“You! Stop!”

The fucking guards.

The girl you first met at the ship immediately stepped towards them, edging them on.

“You want to fight Ravka?”

Still on edge, you took your other shoe off and threw it at the group of men then immediately made a run for it onto the ship, followed by Alina, Mal, and the young man; leaving the young woman alone to humble the group of men.

—

“Let’s be clear about two things. I don’t take orders on my own ship. And we’re already underway, I’m glad you’ve joined us.”

The captain, you assumed, had his arms on the table in front of him, resting his weight on the table and leaning forward.

He had ginger hair and green muddy eyes. Although he wasn’t standing up straight, you could tell that he was tall. His nose was crooked, it looked as if he got it handed to him multiple times.

“Now, maybe if you’d be so kind as to give the room a little light,” he continued,” after all you are Alina Starkov. A 20 million kurge saint.”

He pulled out a gun from his jacket and set it on the table, voicing out a silent threat, “dead or alive.”

No wonder his nose was crooked, if you felt a little more confident in your fighting abilities you probably also would’ve decked him in the face.

“Before you continue with the threats,” you begin to say honestly not caring about what’s happening. You knew that at the end of this conversation, he would let Alina and Mal out, might as well leave the room as soon as possible, “could I leave the room? I don’t think I’m needed here.”

Tolya, whose name you learned on the way to the captain, let out a deep exhale.

The captain looked at you slightly confused beige nodding and gesturing Tolya to walk you out the room.

“Wait outside the door though, I have to speak with you too,” said the captain before Tolya came up to you and gestured you out the room.

You were hoping to have some quiet outside the room, but you throwing a shoe out of everything at military personnel amused Tolya to no ends, enough for him to stay talking about it for 10 minutes.

“Do you always throw shoes at people?”

“No-“

“Where are you from? You don’t seem like a Ravka girl.”

“Gee, thanks-“

“What brought you here-“

The door abruptly opening cut Tolya off mid sentence.

“Can you give them a small tour around the ship? Then bring them to the fancy quarters,” the captain said before turning his gaze to you and walking back into his office, implying for you to follow, and you did.

“Close the door on your way in,” he said.

You stood awkwardly in the middle of the room when you finished closing the door. The captain went around his desk and resumed the same position he was in when you first walked into his office.

“Now who are you?”

“Y/N.”

“No last name?”

“Who are you?”

“The name’s Sturmhond.”

“Is that your last name?”

“It’d be a terrible first.”

He leaned further on the table, quickly getting irritated at your distancing, “Alright, love, if you came any other day you’d probably be in luck for me to indulge in your little back and forth momentum, but you coincidentally came in the same time as the sun summoner. Not everyone just regularly travels with a saint.”

You looked away from him, afraid that he’ll somehow expose you to be a time traveler.

“So I’ll ask again, and only once again, who are you.”

“I just want a place to sleep at until we reach shore again.”

“That’s utter bull, love, and you know it.”

You look back at him, your emotional and physical tiredness catching up with you, “I just had the unfortunate luck of crossing paths with them, that’s all. You can use a heartrender,” you clear your throat, the memory of Elijah popping up in your head, “to make sure I’m telling the truth when I say I don’t have any ill agenda.”

“But you have one,” he challenges.

“When does someone not?”

He seemed to not have any remarks to that. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, he just kept his eyes on you.

“Very well,” he finally says. “You seem tired, I’ll show you where you’ll be sleeping.”

He gave you a small grin, looking strangely familiar to Elijah’ grin whenever he teased you.

—

“May not look like the fanciest, but I swear, it’ll feel as such. Well actually that’s a lie, but what can you expect from a hammock at sea? Enjoy your stay, love.”

You let out a breath you’ve been holding since you walked on to the ship once Sturmhond was far away for you to feel slightly relaxed.

Your area was small and was set in between two other hammocks that belonged to complete strangers. Fortunately you didn’t have any luggage with you so you didn’t have to worry about anything getting stolen. You didn’t even have any shoes.

Wow so classy.

You put one of your legs up on the hammock, attempting to get on it. You failed. Then you tiptoed and set your lower behind on the hammock, trying to get on it once again. This time it worked.

You slowly recline your body, leaning on your side, before turning on your back, now looking up at the ceiling of this sleeping area.

“You would’ve loved this place, eli, you always wanted to be a pirate,” you laugh softly, remembering a childhood moment.

“Arrrr matey, give me your money!”

Elijah, a seven year old, threatened with his weirdly bent fork that was taped onto his pointer finger.

“Eli,” you exclaimed, “that didn’t even rhyme!”

“Arrr matey, pirates don’t have to rhyme my lady,” replied Elijah, pronouncing the end of lady like “ty” to make it rhyme with matey.

“Ew, don’t call me that,” you scrunched your face, cringing at the pet name.

Elijah dropped his shoulders as a pout formed on his face, “Y/N! Can you please play along? You know this is important for me, I have to pass my pirate audition!”

“Pirate audition?” You ask back, “Those exist?”

“Of course they do! How else would pirates become pirates?”

“I guess… ok I’m sorry, I’ll take this more seriously.”

A smile now showed on Elijah’ face, “Ok, from the beginning. Arrrr matey, give me your money!”

You smile, finding the entire thing childishly funny. Then the memory quickly becomes sour when you remember the scene of his head disconnected from the rest of his body. The feeling of having to throw up rapidly makes an appearance, but it stops before it’s too hard to control.

You close your eyes and try to leave the memory, forcing yourself to focus on your surroundings as you try to fall asleep.

—

“Look lively, topside now!”

You jerk your head up at the sound of a loud voice and push yourself up. You looked around for a few seconds before pushing yourself up completely and brushing any dirt that ended up on your clothes.

“Of course I wake up on the floor,” you mumble to yourself before heading to the ladder at the far end of the department, and climbing up to the deck.

“Hey,” you hear as soon as you get on the deck, “I meant to ask yesterday but it didn’t seem like the right time. Where’d you get your clothes from?”

Sturmhond walked towards you as he asked the question, seemingly waiting for you to show up.

“Where would you get yours,” you asked back as you started to walk away from him, not sure what he wanted. “Where’s Alina and Mal,” you ask before he could answer your rhetorical question.

“Haven’t came up yet. Why? Need the sun summoner for something?”

Of course he was weary of you, it’s not common for someone to genuinely help someone in this time period without wanting anything in return.

“It’s that rare to want to know how the well-being of someone who has previously helped you? Saints, that’s sad.”

Sturmhond snickered from behind you, “Yeah, pretty rare.”

You walked to a side railing, looking over it to watch the water sway beneath you. The ocean was always something that fascinated you; the fact that it makes up so much of the world yet very little is known about it.

Just like your very own power within you.

“Don’t touch that,” you heard from behind you. You quickly turned your head, the feeling of panic striking you, but relief flooded that feeling away when you saw that Sturmhond was talking to Mal and Alina; leaving you alone with the sea beneath your feet.

—

The sun set just as quickly as it raised. A few members of the ships crew, including its captain and Alina and Mal, embarked on a mission they had once the ship reached a rather mysterious looking island.

When they came back on the ship, it was announced that Alina received her second amplifier and the entire crew was able to watch as she attached it to her body.

Now everyone was asleep, except for you. Not being able to use your power and being stuck in an era that isn’t yours quickly made itself a reoccurring thought. What if you were never able to go home? You still had a family, still had other friends, you still wanted to save Elijah- but how? If you didn’t have your power then what.

Was there an amplifier you could use?

You momentarily stop thinking about these issues once you get to the deck of the ship, the stars in the sky immediately demanding for your attention. A memory of your mother telling you stories about the stars flood your mind.

You feel the soft breeze that always accompanies the ocean as you walk to the middle of the deck and sit down.

“Mom,” you whisper out, “the sea at night is just as you said.”

“Hey,” you hear from behind you, again. The same voice.

“Good evening,” you reply back, starting to get up as you turn towards him.

“It’s late out. Crews not allowed up here after sundown,” he walks towards you, offering you the jacket that was rested on his arm as he gets closer. You glance down at the jacket before looking back up at him, slightly taken off guard at how the moonlight seemed to perfectly light his face.

He’s definitely not bad looking.

“With all due respect, I’m not really apart of the crew,” you reply back, “I’m just here until we reach somewhere safe.” He stands for a few seconds, his hand still holding the jacket out to you.

Taking your words as a rejection, he pulls the hand holding his jacket back to him. He doesn’t say anything to you, he only walks to a side railing on the deck and looks up at the night sky. A comfortable silence rests between you two.

Assuming he wasn’t going to say anything else, you start to walk back to the ladder that led to the hammocks.

“Feel free to stay out, then.”

You stop mid step, mentally weighing the cons and pros of staying out here alone with a man who has made it clear that he does not trust you.

The sky is pretty anyways. You decide to use that as you reason to stay.

You walk towards the same side railing Sturmhond was leaning on, leaving a few inches between you two as you rest your weight on it.

“Why were you out here,” he asked, keeping his eyes straight down, watching the moons reflection of the waters surface.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh wow,” he chuckles while speaking, “you actually gave me a direct answer. Didn’t know you could do that.”

“And I regret doing so,” you say; more on the playful side however, indulging in some sarcastic remarks might be good for your sanity.

From your peripheral, you saw Sturmhond push himself off of the railing, you assumed he was going to walk back inside but he only did so to straighten his back.

“Even though you aren’t apart of my crew permanently, you still eat, sleep, and spend time on my ship. You’re still under my supervision, which means you’re in my crew,” he turns misled towards you, leaning on his side against the railing this time, “and I like to know my crew.”

Mirroring his body movement, you also turn yourself towards him. Maybe telling this stranger, who you’ll never meet again and who you don’t remember in any history books, a few things about you wouldn’t do you any harm. It might be good to make some friends for the mean time.

“Down for a few questions?”

“Alright, my name is Y/N.”

“Still no last name?”

“Still no last name.”

“Ok…,” he chuckled again. “If I can’t know your last name, then can I know how you met the sun summoner? Like I said, that’s not just some regular encounter. Why are you on my ship?”

“I want to go home,” you said; ignoring the first part of his question. “I got lost and I just want to go back.”

“Where’s your home?”

“Ravka.”

You heard a sound come from him, something akin to a laugh, “You’re from Ravka?”

“Yeah,” you said, a little confused as to why he asked again.

He turned his body away from you, looking off into the distance as the smell of sea water and the cool evening breeze took over your senses.

“What do you think about the prince,” he suddenly asks, still looking off into the distance.

The prince? Who was the prince at this time…

You tried to remember all the history books you read and cursed yourself for only really caring about the grisha queen- but then you remember a name that was commonly brought up alongside her and who was once king.

“The puppy prince?”

Sturmhond suddenly turned his head towards you, his expression mixed with surprise and annoyance.

Maybe he knew the prince…?

“Puppy prince?” He repeats, his tone unidentifiable.

You nod slowly, a little worried that you might’ve offended him, “I don’t know him personally and I don’t have an opinion on him, but I’ve heard people call him that.”

He ran a hand through his hair, his shoulder lowering as he rested his forearms on the railing; a sigh escaping his mouth.

He mumbles a few things under his breath that you were unable to catch on to.

“How’d you get away from home?”

“I,” you trailed off, not sure if you wanted to tell him that, “I’m trying to find a cure, for a friends sickness. He’s already in dire need of help, so I’d like to reach shore as soon as possible.”

He didn’t say anything. It was silent again; the sound of the waves and the breeze being the only audible thing at this time of day.

You push yourself off the railing, realizing how late it is; “Well, sturmhond, thank you for the company. I’ll be going back inside now.”

You began to walk away from him, looking up at the sky while doing so.

“Y/N,” Sturmhond says, causing you to stop walking before you could reach the ladder, “We’ll get you home. Promise.”

“Ok,” you respond with a small smile, not looking back at him, “I’ll keep you to it.”

—

“Come with us, it’s the fastest way to get you to shore.”

After your talk with Sturmhond on the deck, he’s been very persistent on updating you on how close you guys were to shore.

You were surprised that he seemed to care that much, about someone who wasn’t truly apart of his crew. You weren’t going to take that for granted though.

“When do you leave?”

“In an hours time, so pack quickly.”

“I-“ you began to say but he walked away before you could even finish, “…I didn’t even give you an answer yet.”

You sighed as you turned back to your hammock, that had nothing on it, since you had nothing with you. You decided to walk around the ship to make the hour go by quicker.

—

“Y/N!”

Alina, who you haven’t spoken too for some days, ran to you immediately at seeing you.

“Alina-“ she ran up to you quicker that you expected and pulled you into a massive bear hug, cutting your air circulation. “You’re coming with us?” She asked when she finally pulled away.

You nodded, “Don’t get my wrong, your shoe throwing is a very unique tactic but I don’t think that’ll affect the monsters in the fold that much.”

You froze at her words and just stared at her, dumbfounded.

You’re going into the fold?

“How’s it feel, ready to take on the fold?”

Mal asked while walking up to you two, specifically to Alina.

As Alina averted her attention for you to Mal, you took it as your chance to give them space. You still felt as if you shouldn’t be apart of any of their conversations since they’ve already had it without you; you didn’t want to mess up the timeline anymore than you assumed you already have.

Nervousness began to bubble in the pit of your stomach. In modern Ravka, there is no fold, you didn’t have to worry about any shadow monsters. You’re in the past though, you remind yourself. Of course your luck would lead you here.

“There you are, I was about to go looking for you,”to your right was Sturmhond who was currently walking towards you, “Excited?”

“Of course n-“ you stop yourself mid sentence. Yes, apart of you was upset that he was throwing you into the equivalent of hell, but he was also the reason why you’d reach Ravka sooner than most. So you didn’t really have any room to complain.

You inhale before restarting your sentence, “To get to Ravka? Yes. To travel through the Fold? No.”

He smirked at your words, “Aw don’t worry, we’ve got a saint with us- you two ready?” He asked Alina and Mal. They nodded, “Might want to hold on to something,” Sturmhond told you as he walked to the middle of his ship, where a lever was rested at.

“Prepare to decouple,” he yelled out. The twins, Tolya and Tamar jumped on the ship; surprising you as they seemed to have come from thin air. Sturmhond yelled out to someone on the other side of the ship before pulling the lever. Just on cue, Kovu, who Sturmhond yelled out to just a few moments ago, moved his arms in a precise motion, pushing air up and towards the sails.

You felt the part of the ship you were on began to lift into the air, you quickly grabbed on to the ledge and jerked your body back so you didn’t see the ground.

This is just like an airplane, you tell yourself in an attempt to slow down your rapidly increasing heartbeat. In front of you, Alina threw herself onto a bench; seemingly afraid. Mal entered your sight of vision as he came up to Alina trying to get her to get up.

You laughed at the view, not because you were making fun of her, but because of how common it is to fly in your time. You wonder how Alina would react to being on an actual airplane.

Still, even though your use to flying in the air, a creation like this-that you’ve studied in school before and is now on- it was fascinating. You slowly turn your body back towards the ledge, looking over it now and overseeing the view.

“This is amazing,” you meant to whisper out but it came out a lot louder than intended.

“Did you expect any less,” Sturmhond questioned as he stood next to you while leaning against the same ledge, “It’s like you haven’t even met me,” he joked. “Years and years of designs,” he continued, “and several dozen crashed prototypes.” He winced out the last part of his sentence, not the proudest at that fact, but it was expected.

You looked at him surprised, “You made this?” He nodded. “…you’re an inventor?” He nodded again. Of course he’s an inventor.

“I know,” he said with a smirk, “smart and handsome, gotta leave something for the rest of you all.”

You rolled your eyes at his cockiness; averting your gaze from him to watch the ground as you fly above it. You didn’t have a view like this on an airplane.

“Captain,” a crew member yelled out, “The Fold’s in sight.”

“Wonderful. Next stop,” he yelled so Alina and Mal could hear, “Destiny.”

—

It was all a blur, the time in the fold.

All you remember is Alina attempting to take down the Fold, then something happened which caused her to fail her attempt. Then suddenly it was all dark, and there were monsters, and gun shots, and screeches- it was horrific. Everything the history books said it was like.

And now it was dark again. You couldn’t see or feel, maybe you were dead. Then suddenly you hear voices.

“One, two, three,-“

And suddenly you saw light again.

Your body jerked up at the feeling of oxygen rushing into your lungs. Around you, you heard sighs of reliefs and thanks being given to the saints as someone aggressively patted your back and you coughed up the remaining water that was in your lungs.

You turned to look at the person patting your back and was met with someone completely unfamiliar, but attractive.

“Almost lost you there,” said the stranger as he wiped his mouth with the back of his palm.

“Who the hell are you-“ the sound of horns blaring and soldiers marching drained out your voice.

“You’ve crossed illegally onto Ravkan soil. Identify yourselves,” asked who you assume to be the commander of the group of soldiers as they came to a stop.

The blonde stranger next to you gave you another pat on the back before getting up from his current position on his knees, “I’ll handle this.”

“Have I really changed that much,” he asked as he jumped down from the wrecked ship, “I knows it’s been a number of years but people swear I remain boyishly handsome.”

You snort at his words. He may look unfamiliar but he definitely acts like someone you know.

Speaking of which, where is…

“It can’t be,” said the commander

“Yes it is,” replied the stranger as he took off his jacket.

“Moi tsarevich.”

As soon as the commander mumbled out those words, he and the rest of his troops immediately got down on one knee.

Tsarevich… prince…

“Alina,” you call out, “where’s Sturmhond?”

Alina looked back at you with widened eyes, as if she came to the same conclusion that you have.

Oh.

He was definitely someone you remembered in those history books.

#nikolai lantsov x reader #grishaverse #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov imagines #nikolai lantsov x you #sturmhond x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone fanfic #nikolai lantsov fanfic #nikolai lantsov x grisha reader #nikolai lantsov x y/n

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bey0nd-1he-stars · 1 year

Text

Wedding bands - Nikolai Lantsov

Masterlists

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Wordcount: 1268

Warnings: none

Summary: You finally tell your friends and crew what your ring is for.

The wind blew in the sails, carrying the Volkvolny across the open seas. Almost the whole crew were up on deck, a few squallers minding the sails but mostly letting the natural wind do the work. Tamar and Tolya had gathered a small group of people and settled down for a few rounds of cards. Nikolai had sat down on the floor up on quarterdeck, a map laid out in front of him. You were out on request of the king so Nikolai hadn’t bothered to tailor himself. You kept close to Ravkan shores anyway and it was his waters so neither of you were especially worried. You stood behind him, watching over his shoulder as he studied it. Usually he would keep all of his maps down in the captain’s cabin but the sun was out and the soft breeze was refreshing. And you were out here on deck. That was always a plus.

After a while Nikolai rolled up the map and stood to leave it in his cabin. You just gave him a nod and a smile before Tamar shouted for you to join them. They had sat down on the main deck at a bench and used a crate as a table. You smiled in thanks when Tolya handed you a set of cards. Your ring flashed in the sun when you took them from him and you saw his gaze flickering down to it for just a second. When you’d played for a while, Tolya brought it up.

“What’s that ring for? You always wear it and you’ve been wearing it since I met you,” he placed down his card in the pile and looked up at you. You smirked and placed down your card as well, leaving you victorious, “you know I won't tell you.” He shrugged, “worth a shot.” Tamar looked at you with raised eyebrows, “your heart rate picked up,” she stated with a smirk and placed a card in the pile. A faint blush covered your cheeks and you looked away from her for a second, and that was your mistake.

“You’re in love with someone!” she exclaimed and turned to face you fully. You let out a surprised huff and laughed softly, “what?”

“Who’s in love?” Nikolai’s deep voice cut you off and you all turned towards him. The sun made his hair look golden. His hazel eyes looked like they had pieces of gold flowing in them and the blue of his jacket complimented his looks very well. It blew softly in the wind and tugged at the ends. Your Y/H/C hair was up but a few strands got caught in the wind and Nikolai had to tear his gaze away from you, his breath caught in his throat for a second. Tamar smirked and turned to you again.

“Dear Y/N here. Her ring is a ring from a lover.”

“Well that’s no news,” Nikolai smiled and sat down beside Tolya and you all returned to the game but continued talking. Tolya seemed a bit upset at his statement, “what do you mean ‘no news?’ You knew?” He turned to Nikolai who just shrugged and smirked at him. Tamar let out a huff, “you bastard,” she mumbled and both you and Nikolai burst out laughing.

“But I’m right, then? You are in love?” Tamar pressed. They’d finished playing and Tolya had lost. Now the cards just laid in a pile in the crate and all the attention was directed towards you. You searched for Nikolai’s gaze and he gave you a quick, almost unnoticeable nod.

“Yeah, you are. I'm in love.” Tamar smirked at that and gave you a nod to continue.

“What? What do you want me to say?” you laughed and started gathering together the cards again in a proper pile.

“Well, is it a promise ring? Or how far along are we talking?” Tolya said and encouraged you to tell them all of it. Nikolai just shook his head in amusement. That it could be so interesting to know about your love life, but he stayed anyway. He wanted to see their reactions if you decided to tell them the truth.

“It’s… It’s a wedding ring, actually,” you confessed and twisted the ring on your finger. The gemstones glittered in the sun and the gold shined. You had decided to just wear the wedding ring on your finger and hung the promise ring and the engagement ring on a chain around your neck, hiding away the Lantsov emerald from plain sight. Tolya gaped at your statement and then he turned to Nikolai.

“You knew she's married?” he asked, stunned that you’d told Nikolai and not them. You were all very close friends and Tolya thought that you’d tell them all if you were to tell anyone. But so the case didn’t seem to be because Nikolai knew. Your husband chuckled, “fortunately enough, I do.” Tolya turned to Tamar, feeling a bit betrayed but in a joking manner, of course. Tamar, intrigued, turned to Nikolai too, deciding it probably would be easier to get him to spill what he knew than to try to ask you.

“Do you know who he is?” She lifted an eyebrow at him and leaned forward and rested her head in her hand. Nikolai’s gaze flicked to yours, amusement swirling in his eyes and a smirk resting on his lips.

“Would be weird if I didn’t.”

“Well, tell us,” The twins demanded. Nikolai just smirked and with a laugh he lifted his own left hand where a golden wedding band rested on his ring finger.

“Him? You’re married to him?” Tamar turned back to you, surprised but when she thought about it, it made sense. You always hung around Nikolai, often touching him, whether it was a hand on his shoulder, a hand threading through his hair or your elbows or knees touching. And if you weren’t with him your gaze always traveled the area as if taking in the scenery, but in reality, you were just looking for him. She’d never thought about it before but those days when something went bad or when he was hurt, or maybe just having a tough day and he disappeared into his captain’s cabin, you disappeared too. You watched as the puzzle pieces started to fit together in her head and you just nodded.

“How long?” Tolya wondered out loud. Nikolai smiled, “a few years.” You nodded along with a smile “how long have you seen me wear this ring?”

Tamar smiled, she knew you were telling the truth, but still, it was fun to tease you both, “prove it,” she demanded with a laugh.

“Prove it?” Nikolai wondered, “what do you mean prove it? Isn’t the rings pretty big proof, or how do they marry in Shu Han?” Tamar smirked, “I demand to see a kiss.” Nikolai turned to you and you just shrugged. They were your closest friends, it didn’t matter if they saw you kiss one time. You took the hand Nikolai reached out to you and he pulled you to your feet. With one arm around your waist and one cupping your face, he pressed his lips to yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer to you, burying your hands in his golden locks. You heard them cheer you on and Nikolai smiled into the kiss. When the two of you pulled away, Nikolai held you close to him anyway, looking into your eyes and smiling like an idiot, happy that you finally could show your relationship among your friends.

#season 2 shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #grishaverse #the grisha series #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov #prince nikolai #six of crows #king of scars #rule of wolves #nikolai lantsov imagines #nikolai lantsov fanfic

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nyctophicbtch · 1 year

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The King's Healer - Nikolai Lantsov

Summary: As Nikolai’s healer, neither of you dared making a move, and you were determined in refusing Zoya’s proposal of marriage to secure the throne. That is, until Ravka’s king decided to stumble into your room all bloodied in the most ungodly hour of the night.

Warnings: King of Scars spoilers, slight angst, mentions of blood

Word Count: 2,500

The private meetings in the war room were your least favorite part of the day, only because you’d have to spend a good amount of time listening to Zoya mention all the terrible things that had been happening recently, as if you everyone wasn’t already stressing about it enough.

The meeting had always been occasionally filled with witty retorts between the king and his general, along with their three trusted grisha. And if that hadn’t been irritating enough to Nikolai, Zoya had been persistent in securing Ravka’s throne through marriage.

“This is the perfect opportunity for you to find a bride.”

“Absolutely not,” Nikolai replied immediately.

“Fine. If you won’t bother to listen to the long list I have then just marry her,” she suggested, raising her eyebrows expectantly at you as if she’d already expected Nikolai to refuse the idea of marriage.

You shot Zoya a pointed look. It was late at night and you wanted nothing more than to jump into the soft mattress of your bed.

“Having a grisha on the throne is not the most ideal measure.”

“Alina Starkov was grisha, yet no one was against it.”

“She was the sun summoner; she was a saint. That was different,” you argued, hesitantly glancing at Nikolai to see his face masked as ever whilst watching your exchange with his general, the same emotionless face he’d wear in council and war meetings displayed.

“Better than a stranger to his claws.”

“No, Zoya.” Your tone held certainty to it, concluding the conversation to an end.

There was no marrying Nikolai. He would have to find someone of a high rank lovesick enough to hopefully ignore the monster he becomes at night. And then you would go back to becoming his healer and no more.

It disgusted you to admit how much the thought pained you. After all those years of tending to Nikolai, as both the prince and privateer, and now as your king, you had the most access to him. His days as the prince and privateer weren’t the most subtle when it came to you either, shamelessly flirting with you any chance he got.

“The next try will be more compelling,” Zoya stated, turning to leave through the doors.

Genya stood still, eyes on the ground, and David looked expectantly at Nikolai.

A look passed between Genya and her king as she brought herself back from whatever thought she had been in, and Nikolai took that as his cue to say something.

“Yes, you are dismissed, David.”

He slightly bowed in respect, ushering Genya out of the war room and making sure to close the doors behind him; and as soon as you heard the hefty click of the doors closing, you turned to Nikolai who already had his eyes on you from across the room, a glint of suggestion in them.

“Nikolai, no.”

“Marriage wouldn’t be so bad, you know.” As soon as the words left his mouth, you caught a glimpse of the young prince before you, his solemn king facade fading. It was in rare moments like this with you he’d find himself at ease, not having to strategize every facial expression or word that comes out of his pretty mouth.

It was always easy with you. You were by his side for as long as he could remember. Every wound and every injury he had to deal with as Sturmhond and as prince Nikolai, you were there to wipe them all away, making sure to follow his request of taking your sweet time to avoid any scars. But the both of you knew that was never his only intention though, only keeping you longer to endure his derisive flirting.

“Yes it would be,” you insisted as Nikolai strided his way to you from the far corner of the table. “The least that Ravka needs right now is a grisha as their queen, let alone a healer. The country’s vulnerable, it needs someone of high power, better yet a strong alliance for our benefit. I will do no good for the throne except securing it. What then? It doesn’t solve the crisis our country is in. It will do you better to marry someone with more political benefits and-”

And his lips were on yours, silencing the lecture he had already gotten plenty of times, more so enough to sink into his head. Yet he could care less. Nikolai was not going to marry off some stranger he didn’t know. He wanted you as his queen and he was going to make that damn well known to you.

His kiss grew more fervent every passing second, a hand coming up to hold your face close to his and the other wrapping around you as he slowly guided you backwards until you felt the table against you.

“Nik- '' you managed to breathe out as he broke apart to trail his lips down your neck, hands feeling at your sides.

Nikolai pulled back slightly, just enough for you to see his breathless state and the haze he had in his eyes as he stared you down through hooded lids. Even in the dim light, you could make out how his pupils had dilated, the sharp edges of his face illuminated by a soft glow.

“Marry me.” His words were a whisper against your lips.

You could care less about the lecture you wanted to give him right now, and instead engrossed yourself in the feel of his lips against yours once more, fingers urgently tugging at his hair in an attempt to pull him closer than he already was. At this point, you were sitting atop of the table with his hands caging on either side of you and not caring that you were knocking the miniatures forming Ravka’s battle plans.

You could already feel his small grin of amusement starting to form against your lips as he felt frustration coarse through every bone in your body.

Nikolai had gained a liking in seeing you irked towards him during his privateer times. Every glare you sent his way only increased his satisfaction, knowing he could affect you in ways no one else could.

“You are not going to woo me into securing the throne,” you said breathlessly after gently pushing him away.

“I’m not wooing you to secure the throne. I’m doing it for personal selfish reasons.”

“We can’t keep doing this, Nikolai.”

“So marry me,” he reasoned, a hint of plea edged onto his voice. “No more hiding and holding back; no more uncertainty.”

You shook your head, pushing him further away to give you space to stand and walk out without uttering another word. And Nikolai let you. He never stopped you or pushed the boundaries he came to learn throughout the years.

Genya could’ve been more subtle with her anticipation.

“I’m not marrying Nikolai, Genya.”

“You say that as if it’s more of a disadvantage than it is beneficial.”

“The only good it will do is secure the throne.”

“Better than nothing.” Genya shrugged, opening the doors to your room. “If he were to marry anyone else it could backfire once the monster is unleashed.”

“Not if they're enticed enough. Shouldn’t be too difficult with Nikolai’s natural charm.”

The tailor kept silent bidding you a silent goodbye as you walked into your room.

“He’d never want harm to come your way, you know. Don’t be afraid,” you heard her softly speak before closing the doors.

You were afraid.

You weren’t sure if you were ready to face what lied ahead if you said yes to his many attempts of proposal, afraid of the change that would come with it. After the numerous changes that happened all at once with the Darkling, the thought of ruining what you once had with Nikolai terrified you.

Right now, you wanted nothing more than to shove all thoughts away in deep slumber. Unfortunately for you, Nikolai was not going to allow that, seeming as how the loud noise of the doors opening caught your attention as he staggered into your room.

“I’m not hearing any of it Ni-” You paused once your gaze landed on his bloodied form, red seeping through the side of his clothes.

“Saints, Nikolai.” You quickly rushed to his side before his legs could give out and tore open his shirt. “What happened?”

“So eager to undress me now are we?” He managed to cast a weak grin when you guided him to the floor.

Even bleeding to death he still managed to flirt with you.

It reminded you of the countless times Sturmhond would burst into your room on the Volkvolny with blood staining his shirt, in dire need of your abilities before he bled to death. Most times, it ranged from broken and bruised to a tiny cut on his lips.

Does it have to be your hands? Or can you heal through a kiss? he would ask every time and your response would always be a jab to his other wounds, causing him to recoil in pain and slap your hand away.

“Shh. Stay still. The more you move the more blood you’ll lose.”

“Always so demanding when I’m on the brink of death,” he protested.

You ignored the never ending comments he threw at you and worked on the huge gash on his side, trying to keep him from losing any more blood than he already had managed to lose on his own.

“Don’t you dare close your eyes,” you ordered when you noticed his eyelids drooping.

“How could I when all I can see is you- Ow,” Nikolai winced when you sealed a small part of his wound, hands going limp at his sides.

“Apologies, moi tsar.” It didn’t sound the slightest bit sincere.

For the next hour you continued working on Nikolai, nudging him awake every time he’d go silent and deafening comments stopped flowing out of his mouth. He did end up falling unconscious after a while and although you’d never admit it, you were surprised that he could stay awake for so long in his terrible state. Maybe it was because he had gotten used to being threatened to stay awake when you fix him up, or perhaps he was just that keen on annoying you as you struggled to save his life.

“You beef-witted idiot,” you whispered as you gently laid him down on your bed and pulled the covers over him. You couldn’t recall when you gave in to your tiredness and closed your eyes, but when you found your eyes fluttering open to the sunlight shining through your windows, you knew Zoya would be demanding answers.

It hadn’t even been a second after you regained your senses that you jumped upright, and when you found Nikolai still soundlessly asleep beside you, you allowed yourself to relax and lay back down.

Your fingers acted on their own accord, threading through his soft golden locks as you eyed his sunlit features. Even disheveled he managed to look like he was crafted by the saints himself. His shirt was torn open in the middle and you were sure Nikolai wasn’t going to let that go so easily even if it was a means to save his life. He had a tiny cut on his forehead that managed to go unnoticed during the night, given how preoccupied you were with the bigger task at hand.

Your fingers left his hair to hover above the cut, sealing it without leaving a trace.

“Well, don't stop now.” The sound of his voice brought some assurance to you that you hadn’t failed him yet

“Morning,” you hummed as he adjusted his eyes to the light.

“I certainly wouldn’t mind waking up like this every morning.” Nikolai shifted his body and winced at the soreness he felt, wrapping an arm to snuggle against you nevertheless.

“If another proposal is coming, I swear to the saints, Nikolai-”

“I love you.” Nikolai sensed the way your body tensed at his confession. He rubbed gentle motions on your bare arm with his thumb in an attempt to soothe you. “I love you with every fiber of my being and I’m sorry I hadn’t said it sooner.”

This time he looked at you with so much intensity you weren’t sure whether you wanted to hit him in the head or burst into tears for finally saying it out loud.

“You don’t have to marry me if you don’t want to. But I’ll never forgive myself if I end up hurting you by having you watch me learn to love someone else. If that is even possible.”

Your hand reached out to his jaw and Nikolai closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of your hands gently cradling his face. This time, the kiss that came was gentle and filled with longing.

Yes, you were afraid of what was to come, but somehow, Nikolai and his stupid charm managed to drown those fears.

“Yes,” you mumbled against his lips.

“What?” He slowly pulled away, allowing you to get a glimpse of his brows furrowed in confusion.

“I’ll marry you, Nikolai Lantsov.”

The grin that found its way to his face was even more blinding than the morning sunlight that had woken you up and you found yourself mimicking his beaming expression, until his lips curled suggestively and you dread the comment that was going to come with it.

“Don’t forget, we still need an heir to properly secure the throne,” he whispered against the shell of your ear, earning a push to his wounded side.

“Ow. Well don’t re-open it.”

“I just might and seal it back again if you keep this going on.”

Before Nikolai could give one of his snarky responses, the door flew open to reveal Zoya marching in with Genya trailing behind her.

“He’s missing-” Zoya’s words got caught in her throat as she saw Nikolai looking cozy beside you.

“You were supposed to stay drugged,” she deadpanned. “Care to explain what happened?”

The trail of dried up blood along the hallway and on your floor was certainly one of the great sources for questions. Innumerable things had happened the past few hours to an extent where you had forgotten to question how Nikolai had ended up in such a concerning state in the first place.

“Wasn’t drugged enough. Transformed back mid-air and managed to land in the armory. Luckily, I managed to get here before I bled to death. No, I don’t think I flew far off and stayed inside the palace walls. Oh, and we’re engaged.”

The rare occurance of Nikolai catching Zoya off guard was an amusing sight to witness. Whatever words she was expecting, it certainly wasn’t that. But she was never one to let any emotion other than discontent display on her face for too long.

“Get dressed. War room in fifteen minutes.”

“I thought you were the king,” you bemused once Zoya was out of earshot.

“And yet Baghra managed to scare the entire royal family.”

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #female reader #sturmhond #shadow and bone #grishaverse #king of scars #fanfic #fanfiction #imagine #drabble #headcanon #fluff #grisha reader #healer reader #onsehot

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