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asemtipovedal · 3 days

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six of crows fandom will you accept me please this is my kazzle dazzle character study as a welcome gift

#six of crows #kaz brekker #kazzle dazzle #grishaverse #shadow and bone #the crow #character study #fanart #ketterdam #kaz rietveld #bastard of the barrel #crooked kingdom #freddy carter

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aysegust · 2 days

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MORE THAN A HEALER. - K.B

Pairings: (Kaz Brekker x Reader)

A/N: Hello beautiful people, I hope you’ll like this part. I kinda feel doubt writing this… I wanted to show as much of Kaz’s vulnerable side. Which was ultimately is Y/N… I kinda mess up with the storyline of the canon but who cares? We are doing what we want. It’s a fanfic! I ended things openly so maybe I’ll write a third part but I don’t think so here is the final part of Just A Healer fiction.

Word Count: 3.279

Warnings: Slight abuse but nothing further, mention of Wylan as subtle. :) Angst but Fluff in the end.

You can read the first part here: Just A Healer. - K.B

It all happened too fast, so quick.

One thing you knew was how ugly Pekka’s face at the moonlight the next thing you knew was the pain behind your back.

Suddenly, the loss of vision and consciousness was just beginning of something disgusting.

It all happened too fast, Y/N.

Slowly, when your eyes opened, you looked around. Your vision was still blurry at first but after few seconds your eyes adjusted to the light.

The place surrounded in a dim light whereas it was cold and concentrated. But where were you? You thought to yourself. The place looked like it was a dungeon and the window was barely just there. It was so small that you couldn’t see outside that much.

You closed your eyes for a moment. Trying to memorize every detail about why you were here and what happened.

“Shit.” You cursed bitterly. Pekka found you were a Grisha and wanted to hurt Kaz so you were kidnapped and yet the worst part is… Pekka Rollins isn’t going to be the one who kills you, it will be Kirigan. That son of a bitch. You thought.

You touched to your neck and healed the wound. Well, it was a benefit for you to be a healer, you could heal yourself quickly. You got up after the dizziness was over. You looked around and there wasn’t any useful for you to protect yourself from. There were only straws on the ground.

You sighed and the looming feeling hit you again. Just like before. What if Kaz wouldn’t find you? What if he thinks you betrayed him too?

But he was a clever man, he would investigate this. Your thoughts went on and on again. Not before you got cut by Kirigan’s shadow… As the thought crossed your mind, you heard a sound. Footsteps.

Suddenly the door opened and you saw Pekka’s guys. You could handle the two of them in a combat fight but there were coming three more.

One of the guy smirked devilishly to you. “Don’t be naughty, you witch.” He said harshly. You wanted to punch his nose but you were outnumbered. Quickly that guy handcuffed you and put a chain on your handcuff. He was leading you forcefully to walk behind him.

As you unfortunately, forcefully walked behind him, you looked around. Observing the place and the Dime Lions. It was cruel, walking straight to your death.

But you had to put your shit together. You weren’t going to give up so easily. You will gonna escape that place, you just needed the right moment.

As you went outside through the doors, you looked at the Harbor. Either you were going to face Kirigan or he was coming for you.

As you saw six guy in the corner of the deck, you then looked at the three guy on the ship. Well, it wasn’t going to be easy. Hell, when things were easy?

You closed your eyes for a moment. Walk through the fire, Y/N. You thought to yourself, trying to encourage yourself to make everything better, you opened your eyes and looked at the sky.

Maybe he was worried?

Was he?

Three hours passed, you were supposed to meet Kaz in his office. Well, he wanted to debrief you about the upcoming plan he was working on. He had already told Inej and Jesper but he wanted to talk to you about it alone.

Well, your presence calmed him. He wasn’t much of a man shows himself but around you, at least his thoughts were stable and he can feel himself relax a bit. Not only you were just a healer, but his healer too.

Of course, he thinks you are more than just a healer. Because you were gracious. Everything he wasn’t be and deeply inside, he admired it. The pasts of himself, his crows wasn’t bright.

If it were bright then none of you wouldn’t be in the Barrel.

You were a precious asset for the team and Kaz, well, he felt more than that but he was just too scared to admit it. How could he?

Feelings are just a burden. Caring only makes you weak and Kaz couldn’t be weak.

He is feared, the Dirtyhands. Bastard of the Barrel. The trick is the not love anything else. He always thought it. Whenever doing some paperwork or looking at building map’s, sometimes you crossed into his mind. Recently, the severe times of you crossing into his mind just rises and he felt, he felt uncomfortable but weirdly good.

So, three hours passed… where were you? Kaz. thought to himself. He got up from his chair and walked out from the door to heard the loud noise coming from the tables. He looked at the bar-side and no trace of you.

Then he saw Inej, the Wraith, entering to the Crow Club with worrying glances. Their eyes met briefly and Inej straightly walked to Kaz’s side.

Kaz felt uneasy but he didn’t show it. He just stood there monotony. “Kaz, we need to talk.” Inej said with a hurry. She looked really worried.

Kaz led her to his office and once the door’s closed, he turned to her and waited for her to speak.

“It’s about Y/N.”

Kaz never felt this fear before. The way his heart beaten so fast, it was cruel. It wasn’t fair. He looked at Inej as his eyebrows furrowed. “What happened?” He said curiously not showing Inej how he is feeling inside, that anxious feeling grows bigger every passing second.

“I was wandering around the Barrel, and catching up with some informations.” She paused to catch a breath. “There are rumors about a Grisha in the Barrel. A Healer.” She stared at Kaz for a moment. “Turns out Pekka Rollins, caught the Grisha and he is going to send the Grisha back to the Ravka. Through the Fold.”

Kaz closed his eyes for a moment. He needed it. Suppressing what Inej said was a hard truth. “It is Y/N. Pekka Rollins caught Y/N.” Inej said it with a pure worry. Her eyes flashed so wide and she feared of losing her dear friend.

Kaz’s whole life stopped at that minute. The man, who took his brother from him, is going to took his healer from him too. He couldn’t.

Kaz couldn’t let that happen. He waited to take his brother’s revenge. He couldn’t lose Y/N. He couldn’t.

He looked at Inej with anger range filling his eyes. “Find out where Pekka hides Y/N, if he’s going to send her to Ravka, they will be on the Harbor. So it must be close to that place.”

Inej nodded and walked hurriedly towards the door then she looked back at Kaz. “What are you gonna do?” She said softly. “I’m gonna make him suffer.” He replied coldly.

After Kaz came up with a plan, it wasn’t going to be easy but they had to save Y/N. So that’s what mattered. He tried to calm himself, he had to get his things together for your sake. But Kaz wanted revenge. He wanted blood.

As they pulled you over harshly and forced you to enter the ship, they threw you to the basement of the ship. As you whined in pain, you blinked rapidly and looked around. After you were pushed, you felt dizzy but you closed your eyes and pulled yourself together. You gotta do something.

There must be a way to get rid of these handcuffs, you thought. You got up and looked around. There were stocks of some oranges, cucumbers and other conserves.

After quietly searching the basement, you saw a dagger. It was placed closer to the fruits. You took it and tried to open the handcuff with it. It was hard, since you were handcuffed and trying to hold the dagger while working hard for opening the handcuff, you sweared.

Being a soldier and being one of Kaz’s crows helped you learn new skills. You were talented, strong. You weren’t weak. Most Grisha’s in Ravka prejudiced healers. They thought they were weak whilst they had several powerful gifts. But you never saw your gift as a weakness. It was your biggest strength.

After putting a work on it, you unlocked the cuffs and brushed your palms lightly. You took the dagger and closed your eyes for a moment. Your heart raced so fast, you had to collect your thoughts.

You opened your eyes and walked slowly to the stairs. As you slowly opened the cover, you heard footsteps, so you closed it back and pulled yourself back. Then you heard a man’s voice. The guy was laughing and the next minute, he opened the basement’s door. He looked at you on top of it and smiled at you cockily.

Of course you sat back before he opened the cover, you acted like you were cuffed. He then slowly walked down the stairs and closed the cover. “Look at you, witch.” He smiled. “When I’m finished with you, you are gonna regret why you just didn’t kill yourself.” He smirked disgustingly and placed his hand on your chin harshly. He then, licked your cheek. You felt disgusted and you squeezed your eyes shut. “Oi, the thing’s I’m gonna do to you…” He whispered to your ear.

You slowly pulled the dagger and while he was kissing your neck, you stabbed him on his chest. Then he whined in pain and looked at you with shock. “When I’m finished with you, you’re going to regret why you, just didn’t kill yourself, you fucking bastard.” You whispered with anger. Then by the time he was about the react your words you broke his neck.

You got up and took a deep breath. There was eight of them left. You stayed still for a moment. It was all happening too fast, your mind was spinning and you just felt the fear mixed with disgust so badly.

Then as you hurriedly walked to the upstairs, you opened the cover but you heard a muffled sound. Something was odd. You slowly lifted your head and looked around.

As the Crows located where Y/N is, they went on their way, Inej was on the roofs, as ready as she’ll be, Jesper was very furious when he learned your kidnapping. Jesper and Kaz went to the Harbor and while they were hiding behind some of building, they saw you with handcuffs, as they forced you to walk to inside of the ship.

Kaz looked at the rooftop and tilted his head. Inej understood that the plan was on. The Wraith, as she landed on the ground, she hid so perfectly behind the shadows. Well, she was tiny but very strong. She hid behind some of cargo sacks. There was two man standing close to her, so Inej moved behind them silently and slit their throats ever so flawlessly.

There were three guys on the ship, while two of them were standing on the deck. One of the guy on the ship walked to the basement while there was two of them stayed present on the ship. As they were controlling the area.

It was Jesper’s turn. Now it was time to expose themselves. Jesper walked arrogantly on the ground. He looked at the two man. “It’s restricted area! Go away,” One of the guy, whose were standing on the deck warned Jesper as he was walking closer to them. “But would that be fun? Seriously?” He then hit the guy’s face with his gun.

As the other guy reacted to Jesper by pulling his own gun, Jesper grinned and fired his gun. “Never dare to held your gun to me again!” He lashed out and looked at the two guy on the ship. They were trying to hit Jesper with their guns but Jesper’s reactions was too fast.

Then he pulled his own pistol and as he is being the Sharpshooter, he never misses.

After Jesper’s killing the other two guy, Kaz walked to the deck and got on the board. As the basement’s door opened and revealed you to his eyes, your eyes met and he felt his heart skipped a beat. “Kaz?” You said surprisedly. He didn’t understand why you got surprised about seeing him.

You quickly pulled yourself and walked to his way. As you looked around, you saw the other men of Pekka’s bodies around the ship and the deck. “You came for me.” You looked at Kaz and felt tears brimmed in your eyes.

He furrowed his eyebrows. As he was about to say something, Jesper pulled you in a tight hug. Was he crying, what? You thought. “Jess, are you crying?” You smiled with tears. “You bloody idiot! Of course I am!” He pulled you closer to himself, suddenly you were out of breath. “Jesper! You are squeezing me-“

He let you go softly. “I’m sorry, Y/N. It’s just you know…” You smiled and squeezed his hand. While Kaz backed away, Inej hugged you softly. You could see the tears in Inej’s eyes. Which ached your heart.

“We have to go, there would be a mess.” As Kaz said, you and Inej let go of each other. You looked at Kaz. “What?” You asked. Kaz looked at you briefly. “This is just one thing, Pekka Rollins wouldn’t know what hit him.” He said with harsh tone.

“Kaz, what did you do?” You asked worriedly. He looked at you bitterly. “Something I should’ve done before.”

He didn’t reply anything further as all of you went back to the Slat. Well, while you were on the way back to the Slat, you watched Kaz. All of the way back… You just feel this thing inside you, where you couldn’t just pretend things anymore.

When you went back to the Slat, you heard a loud explosion coming from the streets. “What is happening?” You said it confusedly. Jesper glanced at you softly. “We are gonna be in a big fight, Y/N.” You looked at him as your eyebrows furrowed. “What?” You didn’t understand. “The boss, well, he just blew up The Dime Lions.” Jesper looked at you amusedly. You were in a utter shock as you heard what Jesper said.

And there was a boyish looking guy appeared as he was walking out on Kaz’s office. “Who is that?” You asked as you showed the boy who walked out on Kaz’s office. Jesper amusedly grinned. “He is the one who blew up the places.” You looked at Jesper with wide eyes. “Bloody hell..” You said.

After you left Jesper’s side, you walked hurriedly towards to Kaz’s office. You knocked the door and after a moment you opened it and saw Kaz was looking to the sky. “Can I come in?” You said softly.

He then turned to you and gestured you to step inside. “Kaz.. Did you blew up Pekka’s properties?” You looked at him worriedly which he was finding it uneasy. He was fighting himself everyday trying to keep you in a distance but after today, he just wanted everyone who wronged him, pay.

“I did.” You looked at him in a shock as he said it. For a second he refused to meet your gaze. You didn’t know what to say to him. You weren’t expecting him to save you up in the first place but he did. You approached slowly to his side. Careful to not bother him.

“Thank you, Kaz.” You were feeling this thing in your chest, whenever you see him, your heart beats faster. He was just so distant but after tonight, hearing what he did… maybe he cared for you.

“You are welcome.” He said quietly while he looked at you in a different way. But all you were wondering why he did all of this. You needed a clarification, an answer. What he did was a huge thing. “Why?” You said, nearly a whisper. He raised an eyebrow at your question. He knew what you were asking, he was just choose to ignore it.

But you insisted. “Kaz- Why did you did all of this? It’s a declaration of a war.” You were trying to reason with him. The question you wanted to really ask was hanging dry in your throat. He was watching the skyline of Ketterdam, there were noises. After the explosion, siren sounds and other’s faded in distance as you went on. “Why did you save me?”

The question you asked triggered something him in inside. He closed your eyes for a moment as he tried to collect his thoughts. “You are one of us.” He said straightly. “Crows are loyal to their fellows. One of them in the pack gets hurt, they will protect them.” You looked at him. Your eyebrows furrowed.

“While I was in that dungeon, the thoughts were going on and on in my mind…” You admitted softly. “I thought lot of things, primarily how to escape this place but something happened… and I thought-“ You paused. His eyes were on you at the whole time you were speaking. He was observing every little detail about you. Every little mimic, expression. His heart crushed when he saw tears in your eyes.

“I thought maybe, uh, you would think I betrayed you.” He looked at you with a furrowed expression. You didn’t look at him so you explained further. “You know, I betrayed my own country. I ran away from the King’s orders. I know you don’t trust me and I felt maybe you thought that way too after my disappearance.” You said it without catching a breath.

You were too scared to meet his gaze. “No.” It was hard for Kaz to open up his feelings. He had just shown the world that he cared for his crow. Which was a weak sign for the others. But he could’ve manage it. He could’ve make them suffer. Because he was feared. He declared a war against Pekka. But the way you said these things pissed Kaz.

Well he didn’t trust you for a long time. Of course, Kaz is a careful man. Man of mind and he is too cautious when he takes a move. But after seeing what you do, helping his crows and proving your loyalty at every time. of course Kaz trusted you.

“Y/N,” Kaz whispered. His voice sounded crispy. “I do trust you, more than you know.” You looked at him as a tear slipped away to your cheek. “I cannot offer you more but, never forget that you are valuable to the team…” He paused, struggling inside. Because once he admits to you, it would change everything.

“Valuable to me…” You smiled softly. You wouldn’t push him for anything. “Thank you, Kaz.” You said it again. “If we go to a war, we’ll go… I’ll always be there for you.” You said surely. What you were feeling Kaz was more than just companionship, you loved being near to him. It doesn’t matter how twisted he is and well, you loved him.

It was all you needed to hear. So you stepped away and approached to the door side. He turned and watched you to walk away. For once, don’t disappear. He thought. He looked at his gloves and closed his eyes momentarily. “Stay,” He said briefly. It sounded like a muffled sound but you heard anyway. You paused at your step and didn’t dare to look at his way.

“Stay here.” He said and then you turned to him. When you met his gaze, you felt the warmth inside your body. Who knew, in Kaz’s coldness, there was warmth.

#kaz brekker #shadow and bone #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker x reader #kazzle dazzle #kaz brekker x you #reader insert #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz rietveld #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker fanfic

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applecidersstuff · 5 months

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You know what makes Kaz a great boss? What makes him a better boss then both Pekka Rollins and Per Haskel?

He gets to know his crew and basically any people he’s working with. I know it’s basically an opposite of what he says about barrel gangs, but hear me out.

The main reason why Kaz was able to know that Big Bolliger was a traitor is because he knew that Bol was lazy. And knowing what he did in the "Crow club" it would be hard to know if he was lazy or just relaxed while on the job. Kaz knew that he was lazy - he took time to know the guy.

And also the thing that makes Kaz's plans good is that he keeps in mind all his crew's bad habits and vulnerabilities and plots around them. Its really easy to see that if you look at Jesper.

He keeps in mind that Jesper is late and that he can accidentally give up important info. We see that clearly in the beginning of the book. During the “set the wolf free” plan he made sure to tell Jesper the “wrong” time so that he would “be late” and free the animals at the right time. He knew Jesper would(or could) give up info by accident so he took precautions(saying this again: no one arranges an extra ship just to gather in front of it)

And we also have it in the end of CK.

I think both Inej and Jesper had been told the wrong time. Kaz knew that Dunyasha would be there, so he added some time for Inej to fight her. He talks with Jesper about kergud(I have no idea how to spell that, sorry) and also adds time for that fight. He might have actually putted the wyvil it Jespers pocket(as I do not remember Jes actually putting it there, or mb he just made sure it was there).

I mean, it would have been weird if there would be just the sound of one shot fired, but after the siren it would sound better.

When Kaz told Dregs that he won't be their father, he meant it, your father doesn't know you that well, but your sneaky annoying little sibling does.

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your-local-book-blog · 3 months

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Kaz literally refused to believe that Jan would hurt his kid.

Like this is the smartest man in Ketterdam, and a miser to boot. This boy would never bet money he wasn't 100% sure he was gonna win.

And EVEN when Wylan told him his Father would never do it, he STILL refused to believe it.

And I'm positive he didn't trust Van Eck.

He just trusted he would be a father.

Kaz doesn't know much about fathers, only his own, and he couldn't think poorly of his own dad, so he had to believe that even if they were horrible people, at least these men were still fathers. So of COURSE they cared about their kid.

Kaz is a lot of things, but he would not believe a father would do that to his son.

#six of crows #soc #kaz brekker #wylan van eck #jan van eck #wylan van sunshine #kaz rietveld

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polartss · 11 months

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👑Kings and Queens👑

kanej scheming away,, what rich guy r they gonna rob next??

#my art #kanej fanart #KANEJ #Kaz Brekker #kaz rietveld #kaz x inej #inej ghafa #six of crows #shadow and bone #crooked kingdom #leigh Bardugo #Grishaverse

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maidenofcrows · 2 months

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Having thoughts about Kaz Brekker being a farmer’s son. They call him Dirtyhands, but his hands were supposed to be dirtied from tending the earth, not from the blood of the people he’s killed. Or something.

#i wonder if he misses when the things he did before breakfast were more along the lines of feeding the chickens than bashing peoples skulls #six of crows #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #kaz rietveld #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #crow brain

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thechaoticrow · 1 year

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so we all know about “who the hell is jordie?” “someone i trusted. someone i couldn’t afford to lose”, right, but what we forget is the significance of kaz calling jesper ‘jordie’. it’s not just that jesper is a brother to him- jordie was kaz’s protector. jordie was the 13 year old that protected kaz and who kaz protected, the goofy one who made him smile and bought him hot chocolate at night. he felt safe around him. he trusted jordie with his life. in calling jesper ‘jordie’, kaz shows that subconsciously, he trusts jesper to protect him, that he could turn to him should he need it. and every time he yells at jesper, the gambler who couldn’t stay out of the red, for losing another bet, getting in debt again, all he can see is that same thirteen-year-old boy, swindled out of everything he owned and left for dead on the street. with every word he yells at jesper, he silently urges him to stay alive. with every bet jesper makes, all kaz can think is “i can’t lose a brother. not again.”

#kaz brekker #been a while since i made you cry like this huh #jordie rietveld #jesper fahey #brothers #kaz rietveld #his backstory makes me cry #they are two sides of the same coin #i could say so much more about this #he yells at him #but it is a yell off a cliffside of no #not another #another he couldn’t save #inej ghafa #six of crows #shadow and bone #grishaverse #ketterdam #crow club

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ambericesage · 16 days

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Pekka Rollins: I invited you into the woods because I crave the most dangerous game

Ten-year-old Kaz, nodding: Knife monopoly

Pekka Rollins:

Pekka Rolkins: I was actually going to hunt you for sport but now I'm interested in whatever the fuck knife monopoly is

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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 2 months

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I think a really underrated quote from chapter 3 of Six of Crows is when Van Eck tells Kaz that he can’t help but wonder what “a boy of your intelligence might have amounted to under different circumstances” and Kaz replies “I’d just be stealing from a better class of sucker” because whilst at face value this is simply a suggestion of this is who he is and circumstance wouldn’t have changed that it’s also yet again an insult of Van Eck and a continuation of Kaz’s direct assault of Van Eck’s performative morality and the philosophical conversation they’ve been having about murder and trade - such as when Kaz states that 1 in 5 if Van Eck’s ships never return to port because they sink or fall prey to pirates so “let’s not speak of violence” or of Kaz openly claiming that they share the same cause for both being murderers: “profit”.

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aysegust · 19 hours

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MOONDUST. - K.B

Pairings: (Kaz Brekker x Reader)

A/N: Hello beautiful people! This was a request back in 2021 and I couldn’t write it. Due to my business in studying and since English isn’t my main language, I wasn’t good in writing that well. I loved the request and I didn’t want it to be bad and recently I started to write again due to ease my mind from the anxious things, I wanted to try and give it a shot. I also put a bit weight into Kaz’s way because I felt that would be more fit for the song and fiction. Hope you like it. Inspired by the song named [Moondust by Jaymes Young]

Request: Hey there dear! I saw your song inspired fic for Kaz with War of Hearts and I loved it. Now I'm wondering if you would do one for Kaz with "Moondust" by Jaymes Young (I'm obsessed with that song lately) in which both him and the reader are in love with each other but they decide to keep it quiet believing that it's the best for the other?

Warnings: It’s all honey and glass

Word Count: 1.242

Looking at you, like a star

From the place, the world forgot

It was a desperate attempt, trying to catch your glance. Kaz, sweared to himself inside, why he was acting this sentimental. Needing to see your face, hearing your angelic voice and to cross his eyes to yours.

Like you were a star, you shone through the bitterness of Ketterdam. Bitterness of his heart. The one thing he admired you about is that you were caring. Whatever Jesper rambles, what Nina wants to eat, Wylan’s info-dumps or Inej’s prayers -even you cared so deeply about what he wanted to say too.

But most of the times, Kaz didn’t share anything. He just stayed silent. However, you were fine with it. You loved to spend time in his silence, it was calming. A mutual understanding was there.

Both of you could relax with each other’s presence.

And there's nothing, that I can do

Except bury my love for you

But Kaz couldn’t be vulnerable. He had to be strong, cold and sharp. The thing about surviving in the Barrel is that you cannot have any weaklings. If you want to rule, you gotta be cold and cautious.

Sometimes as some of the nights passed without your company, he would think to himself. Besides thinking every outcome, Kaz thoughts about you. How, deeply inside his mind, he wants it. He craves your warmth, your affection and your caring nature.

He lived his life in a hell. He lost his family, his childhood. Living his life with a rage that’s just surround his every moment. With vengeance. Always having his guard on. It was tiring in some way.

His enemies thought the weak spot of him is his limp. They weren’t smart or Kaz’s just too cautious to hide the real one. It was you.

But he never showed it. Every heist, every dinner with Crows, all the sessions of your hangouts, he never showed it. He buried into his chest and never dared to admit anything.

As in the other hand, you understood him. In every action he took, what was the motive behind that.

Living in the Barrel and growing up without a stable home and family wasn’t surprising. In addition to that, the traumas buried under the grounds of Barrel.

The first time you realized he may care for you in a different way. After spilling you his past, he trusted you. That night a bright feeling of anger sat inside your chest and you wanted to protect him. What a conundrum.

Unfortunately after that night, as you also let yourself be vulnerable to him, the other day came and you both pretend that night was never really happened. For the sake of the surviving.

Sometimes, most of the times actually, you wanted it. You would’ve wanted to try. Be brave for him, like a lover. But in these circumstances, it was impossible. If you two met in another life maybe, but in this life, ot was just impossible to act on it.

I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice

To bury my love (to bury my love)

In the Moondust

A week passed after the petty argument inside his office. He was pissed after an unsuccessful heist. The results of the heist cost the loss of money and Inej got hurt, you got hurt. Under his watch, you got hurt.

Kaz went insane. He was extremely violent as he saw you and Inej got hurt because of the hired Grisha’s in Ketterdam.

As you went to his office later that night, you wanted to talk to him. To explain him that you are alright and everything is going to be alright, he lashed out on you. About your optimism and your carelessness.

Which wasn’t true. You were careful, he knew it. He was pissed because seeing you hurt, he had seen it before but those times he hadn’t realized he was in love with you, this time he knew it. The fact that he tried to shut it out, to bury it out. So he was pissed because he almost lost himself and terrified, Kaz Brekker got terrified. Unlikely of him, wrongfully so.

So, you felt hurt after his accusations and you also got angry with him and the two of you argued.

A week passed. As the of you didn’t hold a conversation. Kaz longed to hear your lovely voice. Your rambles, your gorgeous eyes. However, whenever that thought crossed his mind, he closes his eyes momentarily and try to focus on his work and bury the thoughts of you again.

He was dark, crooked and full of vengeance. Opposite to him; you were like a star. You were kind, elegant and you make things around you better. He wasn’t like that, he was destructive while you were constructive.

Nothing can breathe, in the space

Colder than, the darkest sea

His nightmares came to present again. Haunting him as everyday wasn’t just enough but haunting him into his dreams were cruel as always.

He could feel the Jordie’s lifeless, cold hands gripping his collars. Acting like madly and shouting at him about the past, he was feeling to lump on his throat and the uneasy feeling inside of his body. His hands trembling, his head is foggy and the paralyzing feeling of the touch of skin just makes him want to die. To end his suffering.

But he wouldn’t he just couldn’t.

I have dreams about the days

Driving through your sunset breeze

Because you as Jordie pulls him into the water, you on the other hand help him to breathe again. You came into his dreams, after sleep deprived for days, the only time he drifted off to a nap, it filled with you. You were looking at him with your soft eyes. Your warm smile and your blissful laugh.

You waltzed into his dreams so smoothly and it helped him to sleep for couple hours without waking up in a drenched with sweat.

Yeah, I'm living far away, on the face of the moon

I've buried my love to give the world to you

Maybe in another reality he could’ve held you closer but as like the two of you agreed in a silent way that not acting on what you feel to each other was the of protecting each other.

Kaz Brekker and Y/N L/N had to be careful. Surviving in the Barrel wasn’t easy not when you two had enemies, unfinished business and haunting ghosts from the past.

Nina protested it in a way. She was the one who saw it in the first place. She could her Kaz’s heartbeat as hearing your laughter. It was beating fast. Or whenever he entered the Slat, you would directly look at him and your heartbeat, well, it was beating too fast.

She never understood why you two kept it from each other and why the two of you don’t chase the true love but it was a conversation for another day.

You and Kaz maybe didn’t act upon it but what the two of you felt was real. It wasn’t negotiable and it was pure.

The thought busied him throughout the nights. So he promised himself after he got his revenge on Pekka, he would come for you. He would be a better man for you. He would be more for you, he would try so hard to earn you.

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applecidersstuff · 4 months

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No, but thinking about the original crow trio is so funny sometimes, because:

Kaz understood in two minutes what Darkling couldn’t in two weeks.

Inej visited a coronation, talked with her privater friend and his dragon queen and then went - “oh and btw that blond lady over there looks a lot like a dead saint that you were friends with, is it sankta Alina?”

And neither of them had ever even seen Alina or Nikolai before.

And then we have Jesper, who couldn’t tell apart his crush and the guy they stole from the Ice Court about a month ago….