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#nikolai lantsov fanfiction
undiscovered-horizon · 11 months
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In Emerald Hearts, Emerald Minds - Nikolai Lantsov x Reader
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[mentions of unwanted advances + suggested groping + suggestive/sexual (consensual) themes]
☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾
SUMMARY: When Vasily asks you to forget his half-brother and marry him instead, you escape the Little Palace along Alina. Nikolai realizes something strange is going on when Kaz mentions seeing a similar emerald ring on the woman that came with the Sun Summoner. With how much you and Nikolai have been running in circles to find each other, the reunion aboard Volkvolny feels almost fated.
WORDCOUNT: ~ 4.6k
>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist&lt;<
It feels like the Winter Fete has been going on forever. The champagne keeps on being poured, the guests keep on dancing and the circus acts just keep on performing as though tomorrow is a mere mirage, a concept of a certain time period that never actually comes. Inside those walls of gold and marble, the misery devouring all of Ravka seems like nothing beyond a mad nightmare - something so removed from reality, it’s hilarious in its ridiculousness. Everyone is so carefree and happy you almost take their joy as your own.
Almost.
The orchestra begins playing Waltz of the Flowers and you feel your throat tighten. Despite doing your best not to, your mind relives that fateful night when everything changed. For the longest time, you’d been claiming that the change was for the better but now, standing alone for another year in a row and watching the dashing aristocrats spin to the music, you’re not so sure anymore.
“You really need to stop doing this,” Nikolai says firmly. Although his tone is decisive and clearly unwilling to accept defiance, a pronounced hint of amusement lives between his words - a thread of light-heartedness, one might say.
Your eyebrows gently furrow. “Doing what?”
“Smiling at me like that. Any longer and I might ask you to marry me.”
It feels like you’re about to burst at the seams. Trying to contain your emotions, and failing at it quite horribly, you bite your lower lip. “I might say yes.”
“Where have you gone, Kolya?” you whisper under your breath. The gloss of vacancy covering your eyes blurs the dancing bodies into one mass of faceless strangers. But it also makes you not notice someone approaching you.
“I find it quite admirable.”
Vasily’s voice startles you. To your now-gone relief, you didn’t have the displeasure of running into him all evening - until now. If you were to list all of the things about the older Lantsov son that makes your skin crawl, you’d be done by the time another Winter Fete is organized. The top of the list, however, deserves to be mentioned as it’s an inseparable part of your every interaction with the prince: he’s quite adamant and crude in his desire to be more than just a future brother-in-law to you.
“Excuse me?” you stutter out.
That patronizing look on his face is now accompanied by a cocky half-grin as he realizes he caught you off-guard. “Your devotion to my brother. For all we know, he might be already dead, Saints’ protect him.”
“Don’t even say that!” you hiss at him. Right after, you look around to check whether one of the guests has noticed your unpleasant exchange.
Despite what you’ve just said, you know he’s right. There’s no way you can be sure that your Kolya is either dead or alive. Perhaps this is the detail further ripping your heart apart - you don’t know anything about his fate; you’re mourning, although you’re yet to see the coffin. You haven’t for a few years now and each passing month of silence only made court gossip more cruel and bold.
“All I’m saying, dearest,” Vasily begins quietly as his hand drags along your arm, “is that the moment the news of Nikolai’s death reaches the Grand Palace, you’ll be thrown out. On the other hand, I can make you the Queen of Ravka. And unlike my brother, I won’t disappear off the face of the Earth and forget about his beloved lady.”
The word of endearment is dripping with sarcasm as it leaves his chapped lips. His breath reeks of alcohol and you unknowingly turn your head away. Vasily seems to think you’re about to leave his side, so his hand tightly grips your arm. The hold is almost bruising. He yanks you even closer towards himself.
“Kolya hasn’t forgotten about me,” you say in a shaky voice. Maybe he’s not as foolish as he appears and Vasily is genuinely trying to break you down.
The prince studies your face for a moment, definitely noticing how shaken you are. His eyes have the strangest glint to them - something between desire and contempt. “Is that so?” he barely stifles a grim laugh. “He would have written you a letter if that were true, no?”
Tears sting your eyes. Vasily is certainly smarter, or at least more cruel, than he lets on. He knows exactly what to say to get into your head. It’s a startling difference between him and Nikolai - only one of them does what he can to keep a smile on your face. Well, did.
His dirty, rough hand grabs your chin. Vasily forces you to look at him, his smile wavers upon noticing your desperation. “Consider your options, зайка,” he purrs out. The prince’s other hand trails your face. “The choice is yours.”
A tear falls down your cheek. You feel it rolling across your skin and you silently hope the guests surrounding you are watching this scene. Then, you lean in even closer to Vasily’s face. The whisper leaves your lips like a viper’s venomous hiss: "I will marry you the day you lay his dead body at my feet."
To your surprise, Vasily drops his hands and takes a step back. Despite the self-assured smile on his face, you can see the fury inside his eyes. “As you wish.” He bows curtly, turns on his heel and marches away, undoubtedly looking for another glass of alcohol and a lady naive enough to warm his bed.
The palace suddenly feels stuffy and overcrowded; the music is too loud, the plethora of smells make your head spin.
Outside. You need to get outside.
Bumping into several guests and mumbling half-coherent apologies, you run through the halls of the Little Palace. When the cold, night air hits your flushed cheeks, only then do you stop. Taking in a deep breath, you can actually feel your thoughts becoming clearer. 
With each gust of freezing wind, all the anger and sadness is leaving your shaking body. Vasily just wanted to get a rise out of you and, as much as you don’t want to admit it, he succeeded. Unlike he claims, Nikolai surely is alive. Maybe bruised or sick or not sleeping well but as long as there’s no news about him being dead, he is as alive as one can be. The same starry sky hangs above your and his heads. Perhaps, in this small moment of longing, he’s thinking about you too. Wherever he is.
A tired sigh leaves your lips. You’re about to turn around and go back inside when a silhouette moving in the night catches your attention. The shape is swift although careful like a lizard approaching a fly. You see them looking around before running for another few meters only to hide behind a bush or piece of architecture.
Curious and a little scared, you follow the stranger towards one of the carriages. Quietly, you get close enough to grab their wrist. The shape lets out a gasp and turns around to look at you.
“Alina?!” you whisper. What in Saints’ mercy is she doing? You look at her warm, casual clothes and the bag on her back. “Are you running away?”
“I need to leave,” she answers equally quietly. Her voice as well as her stare is filled with certainty - she’s convinced beyond reasonable doubt this is the right thing to do. “Please, don’t try to stop me.”
You let go of her hand. “Stop you?” A dry chuckle leaves your lips. “I’m coming with you.”
“What?” she deadpans. Alina is staring at you with a vacant stare and her mouth slightly agape. Apparently exchanging royal comforts for hay and stolen apples is unthinkable.
“If I have to spend one more day around Vasily, I will murder someone.”
Alina slowly nods her head - she can definitely understand the sentiment. A dimwitted Fjerdan would have more charm than the older prince. But then she squints her eyes, looking at you with a sense of scepticism.
“Out there, there won’t be warm beds and three-course dinners, you know?”
“I know,” you answer with a careless shrug. Loitering and wandering isn’t for ladies of your sort, it’s like throwing a finless fish into a tank with sharks. Despite that, you’re quite convinced the means justify the end, at least in this scenario. “But out there is my Kolya. And I’m done politely waiting for him.”
A shadow of sadness covers her face. If there’s anyone who can understand your plight, it’s her. In fact, she is luckier than you - she saw her lover maybe an hour ago. Pleasant or unpleasant, the meeting confirmed to her that Mal is at least alive. It’s not a privilege you could afford.
“Then let’s go,” she says to you before opening the chest in the back of the carriage. Forgetting all of your etiquette and social standing, you climb into the compartment with her. Towards adventure or death, you’re going somewhere.
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“The ring gave you away,” Kaz announces. “It’s too expensive for a bodyguard.”
Jesper knits his eyebrows together, suddenly remembering something. He leans towards Kaz but speaks a little too loudly for the question to be inconspicuous: “Didn’t that girl wear the same-”
When Kaz’s cold glare meets Jesper’s squinted eyes, the dark-skinned man immediately closes his mouth halfway through the question. Both of them sit back as they were but the cat is already out of the bag. Well, not entirely - half of it is peeking out of the metaphorical sack.
Nikolai looks between them with unmissable suspicion. Although he’s heard enough to be aware of the possibility that the Sun Summoner isn’t travelling by herself, this is the first time either of the Crows admits it.
His heart begins to beat slightly quicker: Alina run away from the Little Palace along with another woman and that lady was wearing a royal jewel at the time. As long as Vasily didn’t lose his signet on one of his distasteful escapades, the course of events points to only one person - you. Shoving his restless excitement into the deepest chasms of his heart, Nikolai manages to remain his composure:
“Who was wearing that ring?” The prince-turned-privateer unknowingly fiddles with the heavy jewellery on his finger. Noticing the Crows’ reluctance, he makes them an offer: “If you tell me who you saw wearing an emerald ring, I might, say, give you ten minutes to escape.” Nikolai vaguely gestures to the closed window on his right-hand side.
Kaz knows there’s no point in lying any longer. The man in front of him is not only well-informed but also smarter than he looks, making the Crow wonder whether he also knows the answer to this question but prefers to play some kind of a game. In any event, he’s done his part of the deal and his ex-accomplices are left to their own devices. Additionally, he could really use those ten minutes. “A young woman that accompanied Alina Starkov. High-born, confident, decisive. Not a Grisha as far as I know.”
“Not a Lantsov, obviously,” Jesper chips in.
Brekker’s keen eyes catch the barely noticeable change in Sturmhond’s expression - the corner of his mouth merely stuttered up and down but it is enough to tell Kaz as much as he needs:
“You know her.”
Know her? If Nikolai had a weaker grip on his emotions at the moment, he’d laugh until his stomach and diaphragm hurt and then he’ll burst with laughter once more, unspeakably joyous that he might get to see her sooner than he thought. Yes, he does know her but in the way heart knows blood and lungs know air. She’s the ligament that keeps his bones together, the fibres that construct his muscles, the very blood that runs in his veins. Does the Moon simply know the stars? Do trees know their roots and branches?
But for now, he needs to stay focused. 
“Not really,” Sturmhond answers while scrunching his nose. “Many aristocrats wear a ring like that. While I may know of a lot of them, I hardly know anything about them.”
Kaz fights back a mocking half-grin begging to twist his thin lips. “I’d argue that an emerald in Ravka is a rather rare gem.”
“Hers is probably genuine. Mine’s stolen.”
Silence falls between the three men. Nikolai and Kaz are staring each other down, battling in some kind of war of wits and nerves, waiting for the other to give in. Jesper is stealing glances at both of them, feeling the cold tension rise in the air.
Against his deep-seated desire, Kaz doesn’t inquire further about the emeralds or the strange coincidence that the two enigmatic characters wearing them might know each other. He sits back in the chair, his shoulders visibly drop. As much as he’d love to dig deeper, he’d much rather get out of here and reclaim his freedom that is now endangered.
“Well, gentlemen,” Nikolai begins in an upbeat tone, “your ten minutes start now.”
Without saying anything else, he leaves the room. Only then, when the dark, wooden door close behind him, does he let suppressed emotions wash over him. A quiet chuckle brushes past his lips and for a moment even tears sting his eyes. Delight, worry, relief - conflicting sensations merge into one, completely overpowering flame burning inside his chest.
Maybe he doesn’t have the Sun Summoner and he still needs to come up with a plan to catch her but Nikolai hasn’t been this happy for a while now: his солиышко is alright, still making the world brighter and warmer. If he can get to Alina Starkov, he might see her again, although he begins to wonder whether she wishes to see him after all those years of silence and ignorance. But if he can see her, just witness the marvel of her entire being even for one last second, he’ll be cured of the longing and loneliness that has been gnawing at him ever since he left Os Alta.
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You’re following the Shu man to what you assume is his captain’s cuddy. The ship creeks and groans under the weight of the crew as well as the power of the waves. The bussing crewmen spare the three of you a glance, only to show disinterest and go back to their duties. It’s a nice change compared to the kerchen ship you travelled on to Novyi Zem, where the captain asked Alina and you to stay under the deck because of the sailors’ superstition. After getting off the ship, it took you a good week to wash out the reek of cured cod from your clothes and hair. Sometimes you still felt like you can smell it in the air, even in the dusty wind sweeping through Novyi Zem.
Your ‘guide’ pushes the door and they swing open with a creak, the list of the ship aiding the motion. Except for the squeaky hinges, probably rusting faster than anyone can manage, Volkvolny is in good shape. In fact, it looks brand new - no mould or woodworms.
“Captain, request for charter,” the stocky stranger announces with a hint of amusement or excitement in his voice. Despite his imposing visage, the Shu man has made a good impression on you but the long sword on his back kept you vigilant against getting too comfortable in his company.
Only when he moves to the side, presenting the three of you to his captain, do you see the face of the infamous Sturmhond.
You want to laugh. In fact, you have to clench your fists to stop yourself from bursting out with laughter. This situation feels like the strangest coincidence that you can think of, which in turn makes you suspect that it’s not a coincidence at all. Because what are the odds?
Nikolai’s face momentarily brightens up when he recognizes you, a new glint lights up his eyes. He looks different than you remember but in all the right ways: his shoulders look broader and his hair is longer, curling in a way that makes him appear more infantile. You remembered him as a handsome man but the Nikolai in front of you is beautiful enough to be considered unreal.
He's staring into you like a deer caught in headlights until Tolya hands him Alina’s unusual means of payment. As Nikolai is turning the piece of jewellery in his fingers, you notice another change: his hands look rougher, definitely scarred from all the adventures you hope you’re yet to hear about.
The blond prince turns his attention back to Alina, Mal and you. “A gold hairpin can get you anywhere. But an emerald ring?” He gestures to you. “It can get you everywhere.”
“It’s not for sale,” you answer, although you know he’s not trying to buy it. After all, he’s the one that gave it to you.
“I don’t want it.” Nikolai shakes his head. Then, a flirty smile appears on his face. “Looks better on you anyway, doll.”
You’re about to respond to his remark when his attention is once again placed on Alina. “Now, Tolya says you’re looking for a charter. Where are we sailing?”
Alina begins the story with ‘the creation of the world’ as your mother used to say: the Little Palace, Darkling, Morozova’s amplifiers and the Fold. Nikolai nods along, never giving away that he’s privy to most of the story. He doesn’t believe in the Sea Whip at first but that’s hardly his fault - not too long ago people wouldn’t believe in the existence of the Sun Summoner and now she’s standing beside you, nervously rubbing her hand. As you have expected from the moment you saw that Nikolai is Sturmhond, he agrees to the insanity of taking up the quest to catch the amplifier.
“Tolya will show you around.” He sends you off. You’re about to follow your friends out of the cuddy when he adds: “You, emerald lady, I’d like to talk to in private.”
Alina gives you a concerned look (‘blink twice if you need help’)  but you only smile and nod at her in response. With Mal tugging at her arm, she reluctantly leaves you and Sturmhond alone.
The moment the door closes behind Tolya and your friends, Nikolai runs around his desk towards you, engulfing you in a bone-crushing hug. His hand threads through your hair, pushing your head further into the crook of his neck. Even if you tried, there’s no way you can pull away or even move. Taking a deep breath, you smell the familiar fragrance of his cologne but now it’s mixed with the scent of resin, saltwater and seaweed.
Then he pulls away, looking you up and down with burning worry. “Are you alright? Are you hurt? What are you doing here?”
You swear he could be bleeding out on the floor and still he’d be apologizing for staining your clothes. It’s heartwarming that despite the years and evident change in his appearance, Kolya is still Kolya.
A wide smile enters your face. “Looking for a frisky sailor to take me on a voyage filled with indecency, obviously.”
“Well, here he is.” Nikolai points to himself and winks at you. “And he’d really like to know why you’re in Novyi Zem with the Sun Summoner and whats-his-face and not in the Grand Palace in Os Alta.”
You let out a heavy sigh and shake your head gently. “I grew tired, Kolya.” His eyebrows slant upon hearing the exhaustion in your voice. Despite the sheer happiness he feels when you say his name, the concern gnawing at his heart seems to be more powerful. “Years have gone by without you giving me even the tiniest sign that you’re alive and well. And your brother, Saint’s have mercy on him because I won’t, has been adamant about marrying me ever since you left. I told him I will accept his proposal the day he lays your dead body before me.” You make pause, noticing a strange shadow hanging over Nikolai’s face. But he’s not saying anything for a moment, so you finish what you wanted to say: “I had to get away from it all. There’s only so much uncertainty and intruding fingers a lady can take.”
“By the Saints,” he breathes out, “did Vasily lay a hand on you?”
You feel his grip around you tighten but it’s not painful, rather securing. “If you’re asking whether he hit me or forced himself on me, then no, he did not. He did, however, make it abundantly clear what he wants from me. On multiple occasions.”
Nikolai’s face twists in a scowl. The glint that lit up his eyes when he saw you is now gone, exchanged for something dark and unstable. “I’m so sorry, if I knew-”
“I know, love,” you interrupt him. He doesn’t need to announce the ends he’d go to in order to ensure you’re safe and comfortable. Nikolai has never said or done so but you’re fairly convinced he wouldn’t shy away from fistfighting Vasily if he said something less-than-savoury to you. “But neither of us could have known.”
“I promised you’d be safe in Os Alta.”
“And I promised to stay put.” You can’t keep laughter in any longer. You’re not quite sure whether your chuckle is born out of happiness or disbelief. “Now look at us.”
Suddenly, he knits his eyebrows close. At first, you think he’s confused but then the slight rise of his cheeks suggests something closer to contempt or disgust. "Would you actually marry Vasily if he gave you my dead body?"
You can only give him an indifferent shrug. "Maybe?” you ponder aloud. “If you were dead, I would lose all care about what happens to me or with me. In a way, I’d be dead too."
Nikolai takes one of your hands and kisses its fingers. Your breath hitches in your throat when you feel his warm lips against your skin. “I could never rest in peace knowing how he’s treating you.”
“Having you haunt me would be incomparably better than you just being gone. Everything is better than silence.”
His shoulders slouch. Nikolai looks away from you for a moment, admiring the floor in his cuddy but even this can’t hide his guilt and shame. “I couldn’t have just popped in for a visit. Not anywhere in Ravka.”
"You couldn't even have written me a letter?"
"Someone at the palace would recognize my handwriting. I couldn't risk it."
"Then you could have dictated the letter to one of your crew."
That self-assured, flirty smirk appears again on his face. "And scandalize my crewmen with the things I want to tell you?”
As much as you’ve dearly missed his insufferable humour, at the moment it’s making your skin crawl. “This is a serious conversation, Nikolai,” you state firmly.
“I am serious, солиышко.” The pet name rolls off his tongue with both weight and lightness as though it belongs exclusively to you and no one else can ever claim it as their own. He kisses your hand again but keeps it against his lips for a while longer. Then, he places your fingers on his chest and you can feel the soft thrumming of his heart. “Do you think I never thought about writing to you? That I didn’t stay up at night thinking about what I will tell you when we meet again? Countless letters I have begun only to tear them apart and throw them into the sea or burn them. If some people found out we know each other, you’d be in much greater danger than Darkling following your steps. I’d rather deal with the heartbreak of staying away from you than know I put you in danger because I can’t live without you.”
It brings you a grim sense of comfort that he’s been equally torn as you were over the lack of contact. You never thought about it before but Nikolai must have been worried sick, not knowing whether you’re alright and happy. Has he imagined your plight and misery as often as you did his?
“What did you write in those letters?” you ask in a shaky voice.
“I wrote about how much I miss you, how it physically hurts to consider that you might think I have abandoned you. When I was hungry, cold, tired or sick, only the memories of you made me push on. On nights when I couldn’t sleep, I’d stare at the sky above me and wonder whether you’re looking at the same stars. I wrote that wherever I go, I see your face. You are in every sunrise and sunset, every flower I see and every fire that warms me.” Nikolai lets go of your fingers, placing both of his hands on either side of your face. The softness in his eyes makes you swoon. “I only wrote the truth,” he says slowly, making sure you understand the weight of his words.
Swallowing back tears, you lean into his warm touch. “My beloved, my heart yearns for you?” you jest in a dramatic voice.
A playful smile creeps back unto his lips. “If only my heart.”
“Gross.”
“You wanted a frisky sailor.”
"You’re a pirate, not a sailor.”
"I’m a privateer,” he drones out the word as though it makes a world of a difference.
"Pirate sounds sexier."
Nikolai gives you a fake frown. “Oh, I definitely am a pirate."
Without thinking twice, he’s kissing you. The sensation is just as comforting as you remember. His soft lips are doting on you, growing needier with each peck as though this is some feverish attempt at making up the lost time. 
He pulls away to catch his breath and although you’re panting yourself, you unknowingly chase after him, unwilling to dismiss this carnal desire just yet. Nikolai seems to notice your eagerness - he flashes you a cocky grin and shortly pecks your lips again.
“You crossed Ravka, the Fold and the sea just to find me?” he whispers. His eyes are stuck to your wet, swollen mouth.
“And I’d do it a hundred more times if I had to.”
You exchange a few more hungry kisses, pecking and nipping at each other’s lips, before Nikolai continues the conversation:
“I want to say that I’m flattered but I’d rather not encourage you to do something this stupid and dangerous ever again.”
“Hate to break it to you but you took all the stupid with you.”
He rests his forehead against yours; hot, laboured breaths brush against your flushed cheeks. “I’d like to clarify that I’m not stupid, I just can’t seem to think about anything other than you.”
Nikolai wraps his arms around your waist. In a swift motion, he turns you around and pushes you against the edge of his desk. His strength surprises you when Nikolai effortlessly lifts you and places you atop the table, pushing off maps and navigation essentials. Firm, warm hands are restlessly wandering across your body, unsure where to lay or what to grab.
You gasp quietly when his fingers sneak underneath your shirt. “Is this the indecent part of the voyage, my frisky sailor?”
“By the Saints, I hope so,” he whispers against your lips. Then, he furrows his eyebrows questioningly. “Is that offensive to say around a living Saint?”
“I don’t think Alina heard you.”
His nimble fingers are quickly undoing the buttons on your clothes. “Well, she will hear you in a moment.”
“Gross,” you say with laughter in your voice but the word gets muffled as Nikolai gets back to kissing you again.
Even if the crew did hear you that day, no one dared say a word.
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зайка [zay-ka] - bunny (feminine; term of endearment)
солиышко [sol-nee-shko] - little sun (unisex; term of endearment)
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euphoniumpets · 11 months
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Climbing over the wall | Nikolai Lantsov x reader
Summary: You haven't met your bethroted yet and from what you've been knowing by your overthinking, you didn't waste a second to come up with an escape plan that didn't go that well.
Requested? Yes by @lexilulove: Love your writing and excited requests are open!! I saw this on insta the other day and now I want nothing more than a Nikolai based around this idea. With Nikolai’s love interest constantly sneaking away during events and parties. Dealer’s choice if it’s an established relationship of it Nikolai charms the shy girl and the relationship grows.
A/N: ngl, took this inspiration from queen charlotte at the attempt of climbing the wall while george is behind her like ??? and that got me thinking about y/n and nik.
Warnings: painfully longing eyes behind Nik and the reader.
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The king was late.
And you were growing nervous and thought of every possible way to escape the room.
You didn't enjoyed parties, in fact, you hated them. You didn't like to be the center of attention and it was even worse when you haven't met your bethroted yet.
You was a child from a duke and your father wanted you to marry since he worried of you that you would end up alone knowing that you were too shy to even make social intercation. You had been like that ever since you was a child and when your mother had passed away. Always so quiet and enjoyed your own company.
So, when the rumor had spoken that the king of Ravka was looking for a wife to marry, let alone to rule a whole country, your father had suggested you to him.
You had been hesitant but you wanted to please your father and said yes to the arranged marrige. You haven't met the king personally, but from what you've been told by the maidens and by Genya, Zoya, and Alina, that he's kind and handsome.
You've heard some stories and the rumors about the youngest prince that he was a bastard, but you didn't care that he was one. All you cared that if he was going to treat you right as a husband.
Genya and Zoya had invited everyone to the ball to celebrate your marriage and of course, Nikolai himself was late. Zoya had already gone off to scold Nikolai for being late while Genya was somewhere in the room with Alina, leaving you all alone full with nerves.
You scanned the room and saw an opportunity to escape the ball while nobody was noticing that you were gone. You placed your glass of champange down as everybody continued to chat with each other and the music played loud enough that nobody saw you slipping away.
You walked through the gardens but stopped when you saw a wall in front of you. You huffed with annoyance as you knew that you had to climb the wall over.
But you knew that it would be a struggle because of your dress that Zoya had picked for you and she would kill you for destroying the dress. ''Ah, what the hell,'' You muttered to yourself as you embraced that Zoya will kill you for ruining the dress.
You grabbed one of the branches from the tree on the wall and tried to climb up. Upon hearing, you heard footsteps from behind. ''Milady, do you need help of an assistance of some kind?'' You heard a male voice coming from behind you.
''I am, uh, quite fine, thank you,'' You spoke and didn't look behind and tried to figure out a way to climb up higher. ''You can go back inside and wait with all the other gwakes, '' You dismissed and didn't think much of it since you thought it was one of the maidens that had found you.
''I will, but first, I'm curious, what are you doing?''
''Nothing,'' You spoke and huffed.
''You're doing something,'' The man replied with a deadpanned look.
''I am not,'' You spoke. ''You are,''
''I am not,'' You argued and let out a sigh and looked at the tree in front of you. ''If you must know, I'm trying to ascertian the best way to climb over the garden wall,'' You responded and gestured toward the tree.
''Climb? Whatever for?''
''Because I think he may be a beast,'' You replied and placed your hands over your hips. ''A beast?''
''Or a troll,'' You responded. ''A troll?'' The man replied with an offended expression.
''Who are we discussing?'' The man asked. ''Oh, that is impertinent, none of your buisness,'' You replied and glanced back at him before looking around.
''The king,'' You answered after a short silence. ''From what I've heard: that he's handsome, kind, but some people won't even speak of him,'' You informed.
''And that makes you think that the king is a troll or a beast?'' The man asked. ''Well, I haven't seen him yet,'' You answered. ''And I'm overthinking things,'' You spoke.
''Ah, understood,'' He replied. ''You know, if I grab there,'' You said and pointed toward the garden wall. ''Perhaps you could assist me by lifting up,'' You told him and began to climb again.
''Uh, one question, you do not like beast or trolls? What he looks like matters?'' He asked you.
''I do not care what he looks like, what I do not like is not knowing, now, here, just take a hold here with a lift, I believe that I can make it over the garden wall,'' You said and went back to the garden wall and gestured him to help you.
''You want me to lift you over the wall so you may can escape?''
''That is what I said, yes,'' You replied and rolled your eyes. ''People will notice you are missing will they not?''
''Oh, please, they won't,'' You assured him and waved him off. ''Now, if you please, I just need a little help, come, make haste,''
''I have no absolutely no intention of helping you,'' He responded, making you pause before turning to him. ''I am in lady in distress, you refuse to help a lady in distress?'' You asked him with an offended expression.
''I refuse when that lady in distress is trying to go over the wall so that she does not want to marry me,'' He replied making you look at him with wide eyes and shock. Nikolai only found it amusing when he saw the reaction in your face.
''Hello, Y/n,'' He greeted you with a smile. ''I'm Nikolai,'' He introduced himself and you looked at him. ''Please accept my apology, if I had known that you were you...''
''You would have what?'' Nikolai interrupted you. ''Not told me that you were trying to escape?'' He asked with an amusing expression.
''Well, yes, I mean, I do apologize, moi tsar,'' You spoke quietly and looked down at the ground.
''Just call me Nik,'' Nikolai responded and looked at you with a kind smile. ''The king situation, it towers over us, accident of birth on my part, but I thought maybe perhaps, as my wife, you could ignore it, and I could be just Nik to you,'' He spoke.
''That was of course, before I found out that you do not want to be married to me,''
''I did not say that,'' You looked at him with an offended expression.
''Oh you did,'' He responded. ''I did not,'' You argued. ''You did!''
''It is not,'' You argued and paused. ''I do not know you,'' You replied and sighed. ''I do not know you either, except that you are terrible at climbing a wall,'' Nikolai teased and you saw the smile in the corner of his lips.
''You try climbing a wall in all of this,'' You gestured towards your dress that now was ruined for the ball and huffed at him.
''I was told that you were late,'' You replied and looked at him. ''Yes, my apologies for that, king duties you know,'' Nikolai informed and you nodded slightly.
''There you are!'' You heard Zoya's voice exclaim from behind as the two of you turned around. ''What have you done to your dress!'' You heard Zoya exclaim angirly. ''Zoya, calm down,'' You replied.
''She was trying to climb over the wall,'' Nikolai responded and you looked at him with a glare.
''Over the wall?'' Zoya questioned with a confused look. ''That's is not important, now we have to change you into a new dress,'' Zoya grunted with annoyance and dragged you from Nikolai.
''You will pay for this,'' You mouthed over to him as he looked back at you with a smile as Zoya dragged you away.
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typingfool · 11 months
Text
𝐍𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐍𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒 ;; nikolai lantsov
pairing ; Nikolai Lantsov x fem!Reader platonic / mentions ; tamar yul-bataar, tolya yul-bataar
outline —; Nikolai isn’t the only royal member in the Sturmhond Crew. 
WARNINGS —: none.
Word Count —; 621
A/N —; just wanted to write something again, i've been stuck in a writer's rut. NOT BOOK ACCURATE. THIS IS BASED ON THE SHOW; SHADOW AND BONE. so sorry if it's short, i'll expand on this later. for now, enjoy !!
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“You’re whom?” 
His tired question echoes, voice bouncing across the room, making Nikolai slightly bite his inner cheek. He shook his head, blonde hair messily falling over the edge of his brows. You sat with your back against the headboard, the weight of your knees covering your chest. He carefully repeated his question; “Who are you?” 
You lay your cheek against your knee, a familiar smile broadly appearing across your face. A sleepy expression carried your next words, as though you weren’t thinking about what you were saying. “Secondborn Princess of Novyi Zem.” You replied with a yawn. 
Nikolai sat on the edge of the bed, the fabric of the tunic fit his body perfectly, and you forced yourself not to stare. Peaking your gaze towards your clothes. He scoffed, his hand extending to your face. His fingers found their way to your chin, forcing you to look at him. With amusement evident in his voice, he said; “Why didn’t you tell me?” 
Your fingers curled around his wrist, pulling it away, the absence of his touch lingered across the skin of your chin. Rolling your eyes, your head fell back against the bed’s headboard. “Sure, of course, I would tell you, Prince Nikolai.” You teased, shaking your head, arms wrapping around your legs. “You didn’t think you were the only royal one on board, did you?” 
Nikolai plopped himself on the bed, with his palm on his forehead, scoffing. 
No wonder you were so enticing. So polite and kind. Your posture told your status, you held your head high, shoulders on-alert, hands crossed or over each other (because, who would hold your hands if it grew cold?). Your choices were impulsive, for sure, but that was only due to the fact that the luxury of choice isn’t a right to a Princess, especially a Secondborn. The attention is with the Firstborn, the first light, the first star, the responsible, the role model. 
How could Nikolai miss all those traits? The traits that made him love you deeply. In secret. With the doors locked, he would hold his aching heart, wishing that Sturmhond is his real name. 
Then again, you adopted an alias. One that felt so uneasy leaving his tongue. He felt the need to say your real name, if you so kindly give him the permission to. “What is your name?” Nikolai asked, peeking down on your tired figure. 
You left your spot and settled beside him, elbows touching. You said your name without looking at him, carrying the bitterness of your title alongside your identity. 
“Princess…” He started slowly, maybe sleepily. His whispery voice stopped, before he turned to face you. Your gaze was still fixed on the ceiling, ignoring the Prince’s tracing eyes over your profile. “No,” He stopped, then said your name. 
The weight of your responsibilities came tumbling down. And Saints didn’t matter to you anymore, the ongoing war of Ravka, destroying the Fold, Kirigan’s return… nothing mattered. Nothing. Your name never sounded so common, yet so rare. Your parents named you after a Queen, and as the saying goes, ‘Name her after a Queen and expect her to act like one.’ 
For a moment, you were so thankful that you were in a foreign land. One that didn’t recognize your name in its meaning. Thankful for your impulsive and rash decision that one midnight. The one night you fled, met Tamar and Tolya, and joined Sturmhond’s Crew. 
The one night that changed your view in a world so cruel. That, perhaps, a stranger’s name could belong to you. But he proved you wrong. Your name belongs to you. 
“Out there, Princess” Nikolai pointed to the walls, eyes closed. “In here, No titles,” Nikolai smiled. 
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♡ PLEASE LIKE & REBLOG TO SUPPORT ME.
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wheres-mylove · 1 year
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privateer’s treasure | sturmhond!nikolai lantsov x fem!reader
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Summary: The infamous privateer finds himself something extremely valuable - a soulmate. But now he must face a pirate captain who is convinced that his beloved daughter was kidnapped by Sturmhond. It's quite complicated.
Disclaimer: English isn’t my first language!
Word count: 1.8k
The tavern was lit by the dim candlelight. There was a buzz of conversation not fit for a sensitive listener. Someone smashed the bottle of rum and got a solid reprimand from the owner. A night like any other.
“Son of a bitch,” Nikolai snapped and placed a pint of beer on the table with a loud bang. “Old coot. He just had to do it.”
“And do you have to use that gutter language?” asked Tolya, giving his friend an amused look. “This is exactly what the pirate world looks like, you know it. It's not the first time someone's stolen your job.”
“It was an extremely large and an extremely profitable one,” Lantsov continued with a scowl, leaning against a wooden bench. "Anyway, what kind of nickname is that, Silverbeard? He's just pointing out that he's gray and old. Should definitely retire.’’
Tolya miraculously refrained from laughing at the sight of his face. Like a disappointed child whose toy has been taken away.
“I would rather say that he’s a key figure, but alright.” He patted Nikolai on the shoulder. “Cheer up a bit, Tamar is asking around.”
His Majesty graciously took another sip of his beer.
“I don’t think she will find something serious enough to...”
“I have dirt on our captain,” said Tamar in a singing voice, appearing as if on call. “I asked here and there. Silverbeard has a daughter.”
Lantsov almost choked on his booze. He side - eyed the Grisha. Tolya raised his eyebrows.
“Should I kidnap a child and blackmail him? What an amazing idea.”
Tamar sighed and shook her head in disapproval.
“The child is actually an adult. About your age. She’s a young, pretty lady with an attitude, so her father watches over her like a hawk.”
“Should I kidnap a woman and blackmail him then? Even better.”
“Oh, Saints,” the girl groaned, putting her elbows on the table. “I know it’s not really your way, but I’m not asking you to hurt her. Just.. pretend that you're going to. The captain will give us this job without a second thought, maybe even a ship. That girl is the key to not one, but several chests of gold.”
“I can capture a parrot. Or one of his deckhands. Did you find out which one he likes the most?”
Tolya forbade the future ruler to drink more. Tamar was still trying to reason with him. A girlish figure in a hooded cape sneaked unnoticed in front of the tavern.
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The footbridge creaked under Nikolai's shoes. He gazed over the peaceful harbor for the last time. When the sun comes up, they'll be far, far away, sailing on the high seas.
He smiled, and at the same moment was almost thrown into the water by the force with which someone ran into him.
“Sorry!” cried a sweet voice, holding him by the shoulder. “It's your ship, isn't it? Are you leaving now? Will there be a place for me? I'll pay,” the girl hurriedly said, waving a purse of gold in front of his nose.
The privateer blinked a few times, not quite keeping up, which was unheard of. He placed both hands on the stranger's cloak-covered arms to fully regain his balance.
“I’m fine, thank you for your concern,” he said, trying to see his interlocutor’s face under the hood. “Are you trying to drown everyone you meet or am I special?”
The girl sighed impatiently and shoved the payment into his hand with quite comical stubbornness.
“I have no time, do you take it or not? Can I go with you?”
Lantsov sighed deeply and decided that he was in the mood to be a menace. He threw the hood off the girl's head in one swift motion. She frowned, and our boy thought he'd never seen a more beautiful person before.
“Not that heavy, that little fortune of yours,” he added, perhaps to make her furious. It seemed like she was going to curse him and his entire family, but she was in too much of a rush for that.
“I’ll scrub your deck, just take me,” she said and jumped onto the ship without waiting for an answer.
“What’s the fuss about?” asked Tamar, who came to see what was taking him so long.
“Some pretty girl came and started bossing me around,” he explained simply. “I don’t feel like a captain no more.”
“Maybe you will feel like one when you finally sail out?” yelled the stranger, to which Nikolai widened his eyes.
Tamar tried to hide a smile, but then grimaced.
“Aren’t you in some serious trouble, darling? Because these two gentlemen don’t look very friendly.”
“Shit!” the girl exclaimed, now also seeing the men running towards the harbor.
“A criminal, great,” Nikolai murmured with a sigh. “Okay, let’s go. At least my deck will be clean.”
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He kept on tapping his fingers on the desk. What an annoying sound. The lovely fugitive was giving the privateer a death stare.
“Stop it.”
“This is my ship and my desk.”
“Why do you make me sit here?”
“Because I happen to be a curious person. Otherwise I wouldn't have sailed the seas,’’ Lantsov replied, giving her a crooked smile. “I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Did you drown someone?”
The girl got up from her chair, pulled down her cape, and put it on the backrest, revealing the green dress underneath. It suited her. Not that he was staring.
She began a slow march through the cabin.
“You got the gold, so I don't really owe you an explanation,” she began, then groaned, noticing the boy's finger up in the air. “And deck. Gold and deck.”
Nikolai nodded, leaned back more comfortably and put his feet up on the table.
“I didn't kill anyone, I didn't commit any crime at all. I decided that a change of surroundings would do me some good.”
“And those two cuties supported you in this decision?”
“Listen here.’’ She banged her fists on the desk, keeping his legs trapped in between her arms. He was beginning to enjoy it more and more. “You ask too many questions. Those men were harmless. It’s just... the remnants of a previous life.”
“Poetic,” the privateer remarked, tilting his head. “Okay then. I won't push. We'll start from the beginning. The name’s Sturmhond.”
Her mouth curled up in a smile. Not that he was looking at her lips.
“(Y/N),” she introduced herself and shook his hand. “And that nickname you have is a bit pretentious.”
Not that she thought about his name beforehand. And wondered why he's so captivating.
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If Sturmhond noticed one thing, it was that (Y/N) had not yet taken the opportunity to leave them. And there have been several of them since she jumped on the ship. In the harbours, where he had some business to do. She could have turned on her heel and gone her own way. He wasn't going to say it out loud. But neither was he going to deny that quiet hope in his heart. That she'll stay with them forever. With him.
It turned out that life at sea was no stranger to her. She could do a lot more than scrub the deck. Water was her element, as was his. You could see it in her step, her eyes and her smile.
Like a bird set free.
Nikolai Lantsov didn't ask about her past. He didn't ask what she was running from. To be honest, he'd like to run away with her. Some things he hasn't told her yet, either. She didn't know she was sailing with the prince.
(Y/N) was like a treasure that found him on its own. Except every treasure had its price.
Sturmhond found out about that later, by facing Silverbeard's sword pointed at his chest.
“I’ve just come ashore. What is it?” he asked, raising his hands up. He looked back where Tamar and Tolya were reaching for their weapons.
“Draw your sword, bandit, we’ll do it the old way. But first you tell me where she is!” yelled the pirate, stepping forward. Tamar flexed her fingers on the axe.
“Who is where?” Nikolai looked at Silverbeard's men and had a feeling that he recognized them from somewhere.
“My daughter, you miserable rat! You kidnapped my only daughter and you're acting stupid. The sword!”
“I didn’t kidnap anyone. Especially your daughter. I mean, I was advised to do that, but...” Nikolai bit his tongue too late, and Tolya raised his eyes to the heavens.
“Saints, when you say something. Maybe we should all just calm down.”
“Oh, you were advised to do that? Who ordered this? What have you done with her?”
“I didn’t kidnap anyone! The old man is delirious,” groaned Lantsov.
“Dad?” (Y/N) jumped off the footbridge and emerged from behind Tolya's back, with shock painted on her face, staring straight at Silverbeard.
Nikolai looked at the girl, then at the captain with his mouth wide open.
“Fuck.”
Tamar started laughing nervously. (Y/N) stood between Sturmhond and her father. He slowly lowered his weapon, disbelieving his eyes.
“I kidnapped the girl that I was going to kidnap, but decided not to,” Sturmhond summed up in an emotionless voice. He felt the captain's furious gaze on him. “She kidnapped herself! She wanted to go with me!”
“That’s right, I asked him to help me,” confirmed (Y/N), then glanced apologetically at Sturmhond. “I am so sorry.”
“No, no, no problem. Your daddy loves me, he wouldn’t hurt me, now would ya?”
“I’m a little confused,” Tolya said suddenly.
“But why?” asked Silverbeard in a breaking voice. “Then why did you run away? You had everything you could ask for.”
“I lacked freedom, dad. He gave it to me.” The girl winked at Sturmhond, and he blushed like a youngster. “You couldn’t keep me in a gold cage forever. I want to sail. Without your constant protection.”
Silverbeard took a deep breath.
“There was no kidnapping. For clarity,” Nikolai said, putting his hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder. “And she is a great sailor. If you are worried about her safety, she wasn’t and certainly will not be harmed on my ship.”
The old captain nodded, and with tears in his eyes summoned his daughter to him.
“We must have a drink,” Silverbeard said over the girl’s head, holding her tight. “I think we have a few things to discuss.’’
“I agree. Can you do me a little favour and put that sword away?”
(Y/N) grabbed Sturmhond's hand as he passed by.
“Maybe with a glass of rum in hand, but he'll still try to threaten you. Don't let him, okay?”
“You don’t have to tell me that,” Sturmhond said, and taking advantage of the moment when Silverbeard turned his back on them and headed for the tavern, he quickly pecked her on the cheek.
“Pretty low for a privateer,” she observed, then kissed him, properly, on the lips.
Nikolai Lantsov smiled broadly. Slightly dumbfounded.
“Yes, your dad can definitely give me a preaching. You know what they sing about sailors and captains’ daughters.”
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iliveiloveiwrite · 1 year
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Healing Hands // Nikolai Lantsov
Request: Hi Millie! S&B s2 left me with severe Nikolai brainrot 🫠 I love my pirate prince so, if it's okay, I'd love to request a Nikolai x healer!reader 💙 I am a sucker for the patching up trope so that would be amazing. Thanks in advance! ☺️ And happy belated birthday! 🎉
A/N: First time writing for Nikolai so pls be gentle! I’m still getting to grips with his character and I haven’t read King of Scars yet so I only know of the show Nikolai and the trilogy Nikolai. Anyway! Thank you so much for your request, I hope you like, lovely!
Warnings: injuries, mentions of blood, nausea, dizziness. Pining, mutual pining. Mentions of a duel, stabbing. Pain. This is fluff, I promise.
Word Count: 1.4k
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Were the grounds to the palace truly that uneven, or was he losing more blood than he initially realised?
Nikolai pondered this as he took a steadying breath against the wave of nausea that washed over him when he placed his left foot on the step first rather than using his right foot to power through. A silly mistake, the prince thinks, but a mistake nonetheless when black spots dance across his vision.
He slumps against a marble column, resting his forehead against its coolness. He could tolerate pain, could stand the sight of blood and deal with the accompanying adrenaline. What Nikolai found hard to cope with, was that he let his elder brother get the best of him.
It was this thought that spurred him on. The anger at being bested by Vasilly that kept him putting one foot in front of the other even though his left leg protested with every single step.
——————
The Healing Room was rather basic in its layout. A row of six beds placed against the back wall; each bed positioned under a window for air ventilation. Across to the furthest side of the room, shackled to the wall, was an apothecary cabinet filled to the brim with plants and herbs that could aid in healing. Most Grisha didn’t have much use for traditional medicine, but the palace hired its fair share of non-grisha too.
To the left of the room, there sat a desk. It wasn’t overly large; big enough for two just about. It was at this desk that he finds you; your face buried in a book, a streaming drink to your side and a pile of unfinished paperwork sprawled across the rest of the desk. If it wasn’t for the blood dripping onto the floor, making him dizzier, Nikolai could stand there and watch you all day.
Nikolai slumps into the door; the dark wood banging against the sage green walls, alerting you to his presence.
“Your Majesty!” You gasp, rushing to your feet, knocking into your desk and spilling ink over the pages of your new book. You barely give it more than a second thought; hurrying to Nikolai’s side. “What happened?”
Nikolai remains silent as you aid him across the small room to the uncomfortable bench where you healed the more dramatic of injuries. Nikolai tries his best not to wince as he settles down onto the hard wood, feeling every bump and scratch laid into the wood. The ceiling lights only further his nausea so he focuses his gaze on you. His eyes follow your every move; bustling from draw to cupboard, pulling out anything you could need before healing his wound with your powers.
A small, pained smile adorns his lips as you draw your stool next to him. Instinctively, you brush his hair back from his forehead. Nikolai leans into your touch; relishing in your gentleness, wishing it could be the first he felt when he came to consciousness in the morning.
“What happened, Nikolai?” You question, turning your focus to the tear in his trousers. A two inch gash stretches across the front of his left thigh; blood runs freely down his leg. The flow seems to have slowed some, but he’d already lost too much for your liking.
Nikolai lazily waves a hand in the air, putting on airs and graces. “It’s nothing. A simple scratch that needs treating.”
You shoot the prince an unimpressed look. “When you want to tell me the truth, Niko, I’m ready and waiting.”
Nikolai groaned, hating the use of your childhood nickname for him. You so rarely used it now; the nickname, like his childhood, a bittersweet memory. “You’re not playing fair,” He complains, throwing an arm across his face.
You snort, shaking your head fondly at the prince. “I never claimed to play fair. I have to know what happened in case I need to treat an infection before closing the wound.”
Nikolai sighs, knowing he had been bested for a second time that day. “Vasilly…” Nikolai begins, quashing the sudden rise of anger as he thinks back to the events of barely an hour ago.
“What did your brother do?”
“It wasn’t what he did. Am I upset he stabbed me? Yes, but I let myself get distracted and lose the upper hand.”
“How?”
“He said something he knew would get a rise out of me and I took the bait.”
“You know better than that,” You chasten, running your hands through his hair again.
He sighs. “I know but I can’t change what’s happened.” Nikolai feels his anger surge once more, “He was spouting nonsense about Grisha and their talents, stating what he would do when he was king. He made a nasty comment about you, and that’s when I lost my temper.”
“I can fight my own battles, Nikolai.”
Nikolai grabs your hand, squeezing it tightly. “You weren’t there to fight this battle. Vasilly knew what he was doing, and I knew too.”
“Then why did you respond?”
“I always will when it comes to you. I won’t stand for anyone badmouthing you even if they are their heir to the kingdom.”
You pull away from his grasp. Shaking your head, ridding yourself of the thoughts rushing through them, you bring your hands up to the all too familiar position.
“Ready?”
The prince grins. “Ready.”
Your hands move in their familiar patterns; the movements so second nature to you that you do not give it a second thought as you watch the gash on Nikolai’s thigh close, leaving nothing behind but a faint, light pink scar. You fix the prince with a stern stare, “I may have healed you but I need you to take it easy for the rest of the day. No duelling your brother, no swords, no guns. Do you understand?”
Nikolai pulls himself up, swinging his legs off the bench as he salutes you with a cheerful grin on his face. The colour has returned to his cheeks and the usual mischievous gleam has returned to his eyes.
Your feel your heart begin to race at the sight, knowing that any Heartrender in a sixty mile radius could most likely hear it’s pounding. “You scared me out of my wits, Niko,” You confess, taking a seat on the wooden bench next to the prince, resting your head on his shoulder.
Nikolai rests his head on yours; taking your hand in his. “I’m sorry,” He murmurs, meaning it.
“It seems I’m always patching you up when you’re here,” You admonish before your tone turns softer. “Or when you return from your travels, you seem to have new scars.”
“My healers aren’t as adept as you, darling,” Nikolai compliments; his tone flirtatious as he brings your joined hands to his lips, pressing a quick and gentle kiss to the back of your hand.
You hide your face in his shoulder, hoping he doesn’t feel the heat from the flush of your skin. “Don’t tell me that or I’ll be stowing away on your ship next time.”
Nikolai stiffens as the idea comes to him. “That’s perfect!” He exclaims, jumping off the bench, dropping your hand in favour of cradling your face with both of his.
“What do you mean?” You wonder, confused to his reaction but not wanting him to move a single inch. His hands on your face feels like the closest you could get to knowing what the touch of a saint is.
Nikolai keeps your gaze steady. “Come away with me,” He all but begs. “I leave soon and I don’t know when I’ll be back again. Come away with me.”
Your hands cover his. Nikolai’s thumb brush your cheekbones; his eyes shine with sheer happiness as his mind races with thought after thought of what it would be like to have you on his ship, to have you so close.
“I need you to promise me something if I’m to do this,” You warn, arching an eyebrow at the blonde.
“Anything,” He responds immediately, desperately wanting you to say yes to leaving with him, to say yes to a future with him.
“You have to promise to only let me heal you,” You state, dropping a hand in favour for poking him in the ribs. “And only me.”
Nikolai laughs; the sound ringing loud and true through the healing room. As he draws you in for an embrace, he knows that that would be a promise he could certainly keep.
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Note
You know how there are those fics where a runaway noble reader ends up on Sturmhonds ship and she doesn't know who he is but he knows who she is and shenanigans ensue
Picture this: both Nikolai and Reader ended up doing the whole "tailor myself and sailing the seas" thing but Reader figured out who Sturmhond is while Nikolai has no clue. Because there's no way two people had the exact same idea. Basically a reversal of the trope. Now let the shenanigans ensue
The one left behind - Nikolai Lantsov x reader
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A/N- I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it😽😽 Tysm for sending this request!!
Summary- When a rather intriguing girl joins Sturmhond's crew, he finds himself quite drawn to her. However, he still reminisces about the one he'd left behind.
You closed your eyes for a brief moment, allowing the cool breeze to wash over your skin. It was comfort, a sense of hope and most importantly, your freedom. 
You'd finally gotten out of your wrecked household that withheld a father who wished for you to be dead only because you'd refused to abide by his terms. 
You were the daughter of a noble, one who had esteemed relations with the royal family, with you having become friends with the youngest prince. Who was however long since left the country and even though you missed him with all your heart, had no way of reaching him. 
From education to numerous life skills, your parents had provided you with all. However they both had different paths chosen for you to tread upon. 
Your mother had wished for you to acquire a position in Ravka's council. 
Your father however, had wished for you to go to Fjerda and work as a spy for your country. 
 Though no one had ever bothered to ask you what you wished for. 
When your mother had passed, your father had been forcing you to leave for Fjerda.
When you'd opposed, he'd only wished to get rid of you in whatever way possible. 
So you had ran, from a life that was none less than a prison, from a father who no longer wanted you because you opposed to living your life his way. 
….......................................
You took in your new features in the scroungy mirror at the small boarding house you'd been living in. 
You'd gotten a tailor to alter your face so that you wouldn't be recognized as your father had organized a search party for you. 
Your hair was still the long black locks, but your nose was now far sharper than it'd been, and y/e/c eyes were now a light blue, rather tacky for your taste but it was necessary.
The tailor had told you that she'd put in her best efforts to make it last as long as possible, but you'd still need to get it fixed up occasionally. 
 ……............................... 
The next morning, you set out to meet with some crew member of the infamous Volkvolny, a ship commanded by some young pirate as you'd heard. 
You sat at one of the tables of the inn you were supposed to meet at. However, the girl hadn't even shown up yet. 
Just when you were about to leave, you noticed a girl with close cropped hair entering. She had two axes slung around her back and her features stated that she was Shu. 
However, you observed that she hadn’t come alone. She had some red-haired boy wearing a teal coat by her side.
“You’re the Tamar I was to talk to?” You asked, raising an eyebrow as she and the boy sat across you.
“Yes. Sorry for the delay. The captain wished to talk to you himself” She responded, glancing at the boy
You eyed him with your eyebrow still raised. Few strands of his red hair fell near his eyes. His hazel eyes gleamed in the light, and his nose was slightly crooked. He appeared no older than twenty, too young to be a captain.
“You’re the captain?” you asked, giving him a rather judging look.
“I believe I am,” he spoke with a proud grin. His voice sounding familiar to you for some reason. “I happen to be the infamous Sturmhond” he continued to grin
You glanced at him for a moment. There was something familiar about his eyes, but you just couldn’t place it. Perhaps you’d just started feeling so homesick that you’d begun to imagine things now.
“Novak, Evanna Novak” you finally respond, clearly not returning his expression
“Well’ he cleared his throat. “Miss Novak, to have you as a member of my crew, I must ask you what skills do you happen to possess?” he asked
“I’m an engineer, can help in fixing up your ship but I’ve also got training in combat” you spoke
The boy leaned back and finally spoke after a short moment, “Well, I believe we do happen to need an engineer aboard the Volkvolny. Name your price”
“I just need enough to fulfill all my requirements, no more no less. But there's another” you responded
“What's that?”
“I get to keep my freedom” you lifted up your chin, you'd come all this way for one thing only and you weren't going to let it slip away again. 
“Well, I believe we have a deal then” the boy responded. He clasped his hands in front of him as he stood up, “We leave at sunrise, meet us at the docks”.
He walked out of the inn with Tamar by his side. Though there was something strange about him that you couldn't quite place. 
.......…............................ 
“I have an idea” Nikolai sprang up from his chair
“What's that?” you asked, not even bothering to look up from your book. 
“Someday, I can get a ship that I'll be captain of and then we can sail the seas together” he spoke with great zeal. 
You set down your book and met his gaze. “Do you really think my parents would let me?” 
“We'll be adults by then, you could make your own decisions” 
You chuckled slightly, “No one cares about what I want, Nikolai. They'd still take all the decisions of my life”
“I do, I care about what you want” he responded, giving you his innocent look that would make you agree to whatever he'd say. 
..........................…..................... 
You reached the docks at the exact time you'd been given. You hadn't exactly slept the whole night. Whether it was thrill, fear or something entirely different, you didn't know, you no longer cared. You only wished to be free. 
You stepped on the sleek schooner that was the Volkvolny. The ship was quite a marvel and you were intrigued by the fact that the young captain had somehow managed to acquire it. 
You were introduced to the crew by Tamar and her twin brother Tolya who perfectly resembled the structure of a massive tree and had the habit of reciting random verses of poetry mid conversation. 
Sturmhond too, had greeted you as you'd come. And seeing him shouting orders to his crew and grinning along with them made you wonder how he'd managed to do it all. 
......…...............................… 
“I don't like these parties in the slightest” you grumbled, leaning against the railing of the balcony. 
The queen had thrown yet another ball for some reason and the only reason you'd come was because you'd get to see Nikolai. Though your immense hatred for the event hadn't deteriorated in the slightest. 
And what made you even furious was how perfectly Nikolai managed to do it all. Making small talk with the guests, occasionally annoying his brother Vasily and being the center of attention. 
He was far cheery and great at conversing for a sixteen year old boy. 
“Me neither, these people are so fake it's maddening. Nothing coming out of their mouths might be true” Nikolai agreed with you
“But you do it all so perfectly, it's very annoying” you rolled your eyes
“Well, for being a royal, learning to charm people with words is a necessity. Even if it's not true in the slightest” He shrugged. 
You grimaced at his words and turned to look at the starry sky, without the slightest hint of his gaze on you. 
He was mesmerized by how beautiful you looked. You were majestic to him at all times, but there was something entirely different about you tonight. 
Your long flaunty dress that you'd been forced to wear, hung perfectly at your shoulders. A few loose strands of your hair fell near your eyes and he had to fight the urge to tuck them behind your ear. 
Your eyes gleamed in the moonlight. 
You were majestic. 
He slowly slid his hand near yours on the railing and gently placed it on top of yours, making your gaze turn to him. 
You gazed in his perfect hazel eyes, fully unaware of how red your cheeks had become. 
“You look marvelous” he spoke, his voice a mere whisper. “And I'm not only making it up to charm you” he added with a grin. 
“Like you ever could “ you rolled your eyes, a smirk playing over your lips
…..........................................… 
You'd been aboard the Volkvolny for about a week now. And you'd already become quite popular amongst the crew for not only your work but your quick wits and splendid sparring skills. 
Sturmhond would always attempt to make small talk with you and charm you with his idiotic grin. 
You helped him with his designs of a flying ship he was attempting to make along with his other erratic inventions, whilst he tried his best to learn more about you. 
“So, why did you really choose to have this life?” he asked, abandoning his work as he turned towards you
“Well, I simply wished to live a life free from all kinds of burdens” you responded, not willing to share your entire life history. “I believed I could live my life by my own rules here, at the sea”
“I have to admit I agree. It's one of the reasons I'm here as well. Though I do think of all I've left behind” he glanced at a far corner of his desk. 
For a moment, he appeared as a lost prince stuck in another fantasy. 
That was when you noticed the massive deep green gem fixed on his ring. 
You'd seen the ring before, but you hadn't really looked at it. 
The Lantsov Emerald
Very similar to the one Nikolai had on him. 
How had he gotten it? Perhaps he had stolen it from him? What had happened to Nikolai? Was he even alive? A thousand questions filled your head. 
But you brushed them off, quickly regaining your composure. 
Nikolai had stopped writing to you a long while ago, there was no point in thinking of him anymore. 
He no longer cared for you.
…....................................… 
You'd tried your best to keep your composure intact when he'd told you. 
When you'd found out that he was leaving to attend the university at Ketterdam. 
It was best for him of course, you'd known. But it still hurt you to part from him. The boy you'd been with since you were children. 
The boy you'd known as every line from your favorite book. 
You sat alone in the garden, the moon gleaming above you. Nikolai was to leave the following day, but you needed to be strong for him. 
You couldn't make a fool of yourself in front of him. 
You suddenly heard the shuffling of footsteps behind you. “You know you aren't as stern as you show yourself to be. You can be quite emotional” you turned around to see Nikolai. 
He was dressed in a white shirt with the sleeves folded up. 
He looked marvelous. 
“I am not” you rolled your eyes. 
“Come on, you've got to admit that you'll miss me” he grinned as he sat beside you. 
“Well, I guess I might miss hearing your annoying chatter all the time” you shrugged
“See? Acceptance isn’t so bad” he grinned 
You rolled your eyes, “Whatever”
You looked down at your feet. You were going to miss him, you knew it. And you had no idea when you might see him again.
You wished to speak up, to tell him how much he meant to you, how much you cared for him. 
You wished to let him know how much you’d come to like him, even though you never showed it.
You wished to let him know how much you loved him.
But you couldn’t, you couldn’t muster up the courage to do it. And you believed it was for the better. Perhaps he wouldn’t even care once he’s gone. You hated the thought of it.
You reached your hands over to your neck and took off your pendant. You held it out in your palm, “Keep it with you, it’ll remind of you of someone waiting for you to come back”
He glanced at you before nodding. “I wouldn’t even dream of forgetting you” he smiled, taking it from your palm
You smiled, a slight tilt of your lips, perfectly displaying your melancholic feelings. 
He brought his palm forward, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. He then held your hand in his as he gazed deep in your y/e/c eyes. 
“Promise me that you’ll write to me. That you won’t slip away” you spoke, your voice a mere whisper
“I promise. No matter where I am, I’ll never stop thinking of you”.
You gazed at him, your eyes speaking the words your mouth never could.
...………………………………..
After several weeks on board, you woke up one morning and noticed the change in your features in the mirror. 
The effects of the tailoring were wearing off.
You’d gone to Tolya and had him tailor it back. You’d explained to him and Tamar about your need for it and they’d promised to keep your secret safe.
Later during the afternoon, you’d went to Sturmhond’s cabin to retrieve the designs of your latest project from him, only to find that he hadn't been there.
As you thought to leave, you noticed the very document you’d come for was on his desk. However, as you picked it up, you heard a sharp clatter.
As you bent down to pick up whatever had fallen down, you truly realized what it’d been
You felt as if your heart had stopped beating. You couldn't fathom the sights in front of you. 
It was your pendant. 
The one you'd given to Nikolai as a parting gift. 
The Lantsov Emerald and now, your pendant? You couldn't formulate a plausible explanation for all of it. 
Sturmhond, the captain with a terribly made up name. The Captain who was too young to be one. The boy who had far too polite manners to be a Pirate- Privateer as he'd say. 
The boy with the too familiar eyes and voice.  
Was it truly him? 
Was it truly, Nikolai? 
..…....................................... 
Nikolai had never been this conflicted in his entire life. 
He couldn't stop himself from glancing at a certain new member of his crew whenever she'd be working. 
He couldn't stop himself from attempting to strike a conversation with her at any given opportunity. 
He couldn't stop himself from falling in love with her. 
But he still thought of her, the one he'd left back home. He still yearned for the sight of her, the gleam of her eyes in the moonlight, her rare but marvelous smile, he still yearned for her. 
Though he knew he'd abandoned her. He had stopped sending her letters when he'd left the university and had decided to be at the sea. 
Part of him believed that she'd forgotten him, that she'd have moved on, no matter how much he despised the thought. 
He wished he would have spoken when he had the chance. He wished he'd told her how much he loved her, how much it broke his heart to leave her, how much she meant to him. 
But he hadn't, and he despised himself for it. 
...........................................… 
You noticed the effects of Tolya's tailoring were wearing off. However, you chose to leave them be for a while. 
You needed the real you for the moment. 
You saw Sturmhond standing by himself near the railing.
You noticed the moonlight making something in his palm gleam. 
The pendant, you realized. 
He had it in his hand. 
You stepped closer to him as you spoke, “Captain's having trouble sleeping?” you asked. 
He hastily put the pendant away in the pocket of his overcoat. He regained his composure before speaking, “Yeah. Could ask you the same though” he shifted his gaze towards the sea again
“Well, I was going to, but then I happened to see a certain melancholic boy. Something on your mind?” you asked, furrowing your brows. 
“No, not really” he shrugged as he looked down
You raised an eyebrow, clearly not fooled by his lie. 
He wasn't okay, you knew it. 
You'd seen it. 
And perhaps, it was time you'd told him the truth. But you first needed to know what was on his mind. 
“You can talk to me, you know? Something's off with you, and you aren't very good at hiding it” you rested your hands on the railing
He sighed, as he lifted his head up. 
“I- When I decided to leave home, I left a lot behind. There's a lot I don't really miss, but one” He took out the pendant from his pocket. “I yearn for her. And- and I don't even know if she even thinks of me anymore” his voice trembled as he continued
Your heart stopped. 
He believed you'd forgotten him. He thought you no longer cared. If only he knew how much you'd missed him, how he'd never left your mind. How you'd always thought of him during the sleepless nights. 
“I, I don't think she would've forgotten that easy” you attempted to keep your voice steady
“I abandoned her” his voice trembled, he sounded immensely hurt. “I stopped writing to her, I- I never saw her once. Maybe it's for the best. Maybe, she's moved on, she has a better life, she is happy. That's all that matters to me” tears began to well up in his eyes. 
His state, his words, shattered your heart. You weren't happy, you didn't have a better life until you'd come here, you couldn't be happy without him.
You couldn't take it any longer. 
You took a deep breath before speaking, “She isn't happy, not without you, Nikolai” 
He stilled. 
He turned his head towards you in a haste. “Wha-” he looked utterly perplexed
“I know it's you” your gaze softened
“Wait,” His eyes widened as he finally realized. “It's not you, it cannot be” he turned away his gaze. 
You gently held your hand in his, “Nikolai, look at me” you said. 
He slowly shifted his gaze to you and looked, really looked at you. 
The effects of Tolya's tailoring were now fully gone. Your true features had returned.
He let out a breath as he took your name. “Is it truly you?” he asked, his voice a mere whisper
You nodded, gently smiling. 
“How? What are you doing here?” he asked
“It's a long story. It was either I went off to Fjerda or die. So I chose none of those” you shrugged
“What!?” he asked in pure shock
You sighed, “My mother passed away, Nik. I- my father, he wished for me to become a spy, go to Fjerda. I refused, so he wanted nothing more than for me to die. So I ran. That's why I needed the tailoring” you explained.
 “I had my doubts but I wasn't sure if it was really you, not until I saw that” you glanced at the pendant. 
His gaze softened as he realized the whole thing. 
“You still have it” you grinned slightly
“Of course I do, it's the only thing I have that reminds me of you” He smiled with teary eyes. 
“I, I'm sorry, for not writing to you. But you never left my mind, I never stopped thinking of you” he spoke after a short moment. 
“I believed you no longer cared” your voice shook as you glanced down. 
“I would never stop caring for you, love” he said. 
He gently cupped your face in his hands, making your gaze turn to his. “I would never stop loving you” his voice grew lower.
Your eyes widened at his words. 
You'd loved him. You had loved him all your life, more than one could ever think of. But you'd never anticipated him to ever feel the same. 
You felt as if time had stopped at that very moment. There was none other but you and him, two hearts beating as one. 
“I love you, I always have” he said, his teary eyes gleaming
Your gaze softened. 
Your face broke into a soft, relieved grin as you spoke, “I love you too Nik, I always will”.
You gazed deep in his bright hazel eyes before pulling closer to him. 
You gently pressed your lips to his, the action making a part of you heal that'd been broken too long. 
You pulled away from him in a short moment. You met his gaze before he pulled you in, kissing you in the way he'd always longed for. 
You smiled as you pulled away from him. 
“I have to admit I had no idea it was you” he spoke with a beatific grin
His expression grew somber. “You've changed,” he said.
“Time and experiences change all of us” you responded, glancing down. 
“Not you though, you're still the same annoying blabbermouth you were” you joked, regaining your composure in a haste. 
“Oh admit it, you love it” he grinned, teasing you. 
“I believe I do,” you smiled.
“Promise you'll remain by my side from now?” he asked after a short moment
“Only if I get a promotion” you shrugged, grinning. 
“Alright then” he chuckled, and took your hand in his. 
Your fate had brought you back to the life you'd once been stripped of. It had brought you back to him, and you were entirely grateful for it. 
please lets just pretend he had the lantsov emerald before when his mother gave it to him in ruin and rising it was necessary for the plot okayy
anyways i hope i wasnt the only one giggling by the end
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flightlessangelwings · 7 months
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Ktober Day 4- Sex Pollen
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Nikolai Lantsov x gn!Corporalki!reader
Word count- 1.9k
Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), mutual pining, multiple orgasms, no use of y/n
Notes- Nikolai my beloved I can't believe I've never written anything for him before! What a way to start writing for him, huh lol?! Prompt list made by me! Enjoy!
@flightlessangelwings-updates is myupdate blog so please follow that too and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on my new fics!
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~
“Captain?” you knocked at the door to his quarters, “Is everything alright?” you called through the door as you tested the handle. Finding it unlocked, you slowly opened it and peeked inside, “Tamar wanted me to check on you.”
“Everything’s alright, love,” Nikolai quickly put himself together as you entered his room. He felt his brow dampen as it lined with sweat, and he adjusted his pants uncharacteristically awkwardly as he laid his eyes on you. He always found you attractive, but suddenly, he couldn’t stop the thoughts that barraged his mind.
“Nikolai,” you breathed his true name as you closed the door behind you, “I can feel your heart… It’s…” pounding erratically, beating faster than you had ever felt before, about to explode, “What happened?” you asked as you rushed over to him and looked him over. He was bright red and you saw the way beads of sweat dripped down his face. He looked like he had lost his composure as he covered his mouth, something you had never seen before.
“It’s… nothing…” he breathed heavily as he tried to hide the way his pants tightened between his legs.
Nikolai and the twins had just returned to the ship from an excursion. Everything went fine, until the Captain got separated from the others and didn’t seem himself when he returned. He refused to say anything, but every Corporalki could sense that something was off, including you. It worried you, but Nikolai didn’t want to worry you.
“Forgive me if I don’t believe you,” you said sternly yet softly, “Now please, let me help you,” you reached out to try and touch his forehead to assess what was wrong.
But the moment the tips of your fingers made the briefest contact with his heated skin, Nikolai grabbed your wrist and looked at you with a fire behind his eyes that you had never seen before. He hissed your name as his hands trembled, “Leave,” his voice was strained as he fought against his own mind. If he gave in to whatever he had pulsing through his veins, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from ravaging you. And Nikolai could never forgive himself if he hurt you at all.
“Nikolai,” you whispered, “I’m not leaving you. Not when you’re like this.”
Nikolai let out a low groan that made your breath hitch in your throat. You felt his agony as his hand clenched tightly around your wrist. But there was something else that weighed heavily in your heart. You hated seeing him like this, helpless to do anything for him. And you would do anything for him. You had been hopefully in love with him from practically your first meeting, but you kept those feelings buried deep down. 
“Listen to me,” Nikolai strained as he hovered closer to you, “I don’t have time to explain,” he forced a half a smile, “And I wouldn’t want anything to come between us if I can’t stop myself right now… Especially before I got the chance to wine and dine you first.”
At that moment, you felt your own face heat up, “What?”
He cursed under his breath as his body shook, “I don’t know what happened out there, I can’t remember, but whatever it is, everything in me is screaming to fuck you senseless right now or else I feel like I’ll explode.” His memory was hazy, but in his time apart from the others, something must have attacked him and poisoned him with… something. It wasn’t like any other poison, though, nothing Nikolai knew of had effects like… this.
Your mouth dropped open as you processed the weight of his words and what they meant. You felt your own heart flutter in your chest as Nikolai’s gaze bore into your soul. You felt the fire behind his eyes and it lit your body aflame. You had wanted this… wanted him… for so long. But you never in your wildest dreams could have imagined this.
“Let me help,” your voice was so hushed you barely even heard your words. But, from the way Nikolai’s expression changed, you knew he heard you. Swallowing your nerves, you closed the small gap between your bodies and cupped his face, “You can use me.”
“Darling,” his voice didn’t even sound like him as he immediately grabbed you and yanked you so that your chest was flush with his. Then, Nikolai looked surprised, as if his body moved on his own at your words, “I couldn't…”
You whimpered as you felt his hard cock against your body, “You need to,” your own voice trembled, “I…” you sighed as you rested your forehead against his, “I can’t lose you,” your confession was a soft whisper, but it held all the emotions that you kept hidden from everyone, especially him.
In a flash, Nikolai’s lips were on yours in a heated kiss. He swallowed the moan you let out as his hands roamed over your body, ripping at your clothes with abandon as he did so. You clung to him and you heard his heartbeat through your ears; it sounded like the way your ears rang when you were too close to cannon fire. You heard the blood rushing through his veins at incredible speed… or was it your own pulse in your ears?
The room spun in a tizzy as you suddenly found yourself naked on Nikolai’s desk, your legs spread open on their own, as if you felt the effects of whatever infected him as well. But, it didn’t matter. All you could think about was the way he bared his own body before you. Quickly, Nikolai stripped himself of his own clothes, and cock springing free as if it guided his body towards yours the moment it was exposed.
You bit your lip and whimpered as he cupped you between your legs.
“Darling,” Nikolai’s voice was low as he fought to hold himself back momentarily, “Do not let me hurt you.”
Seeing the conviction in his eyes made your heart skip a beat and your inner muscles clenched around nothing, “I trust you,” was your reply. It wasn’t a lie, and you wouldn’t have offered yourself to him if you didn’t.
He groaned as he pumped his cock a few times and lined himself up with your entrance. Pausing only for a fraction of a moment, Nikolai met your eyes before he thrust himself into you.
You threw your head back and screamed as his cock stretched you out. Without any preparation, you felt the sting at first, but it quickly turned to pleasure as he rocked himself in and out of you at a fast and harsh pace. You moaned as you clung to him, and Nikolai wrapped his arms around you in response.
The moment he entered you, Nikolai felt an instant relief, but he knew it would take more than that to fully rid himself of whatever plagued him. He never wanted it to be like this with you. He wanted you, of course, he had since you first joined his crew. But Nikolai wanted to court you properly, to earn your love, your trust, your body. He wasn’t even sure you felt the same way about him that he had about you. But, from the moment he got hit with whatever it was, you were the only person on his mind. 
“Saints,” Nikolai murmured as he bit your shoulder to stifle his own moans, “You feel better than I ever imagined.”
You gasped as he hit that sweet spot inside you at the same time his words left his mouth. Tears filled your eyes and emotions took over. All you could do was cling to him as he pounded into you. Moans filled the room as you felt your climax quickly approach.
“Nikolai… I’m…”
He just groaned as he picked up his pace until you came hard. Nikolai wanted to pull back and watch you cum, but at the same time he couldn’t break away from you even by an inch. Instead, he held you tightly as you gushed between your bodies and trembled in his arms.
“Darling…” he growled as he felt his own climax follow yours. And with just a few more pumps of his cock, he came deep inside you as he groaned your name and clutched you tightly. 
Relief washed over him like a cool rain on a hot summer day. Nikolai still felt the aftershocks of his orgasm, and his cock still remained hard inside you, but the urgency was gone. But, just as he was about to pull out of you, you wrapped your legs around his waist.
“You can keep going,” you whispered, feeling his hardness as well, “I’m ok.”
“But…”
“I trust you,” your voice was more firm as you pulled back enough to look in his eyes, “Do you trust me?”
“I do,” his reply came without hesitation.
The way you looked at him so sincerely made Nikolai’s cock twitch inside you, and before he knew it, he was thrusting in and out of you again. Your mouth dropped open in a loud moan, but he reeled forward and captured your lips with his one in another deep, heated kiss. As he locked lips with you, Nikolai felt his second climax quickly approach, and without pulling away once more, he came inside you.
You whimpered into his mouth as you felt Nikolai fill you up to the point where his cum dripped down your bodies, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was him.
Breaking away for air with a gasp, Nikolai finally got to look in your eyes as you were lost in pleasure. Lost in pleasure on his cock. Saints, you were beautiful like this. Once more, the need overtook him, and Nikolai pounded into you again until he came for the third time. But this time, he watched your every expression as you moaned and cried out his name.
Your eyes stayed shut as he continued to thrust into you, hitting your sweet spot over and over and over again until you couldn’t take it anymore. And just as Nikolai came for the third time, you did as well, crying out his name and clenching around his cock. This time was different though, for both of you. It felt less urgent, yet just as needy.
“Beautiful,” Nikolai murmured as he watched you fall apart in his arms.
With a gasp, your eyes shot open and your heart skipped a beat as you saw the expression of pure adoration on his face, “Nikolai,” you breathed as you cupped his face.
He gave you a weak smile as he mirrored your action, “I think I’m alright now,” he said softly as he slowly pulled out of you, “Thank you,” he hovered his lips over your, but stopped.
You had whined when he pulled out of you, but the disappointment quickly vanished when you felt his breath on your lips. Blinking your eyes open, you studied his face close up, closer than you ever had before. “Don’t tell me you’re shy now, Nikolai,” you quipped in a hushed, exhausted voice.
“I just…” he sighed, “I owe you.”
You smiled, “What about the wining and dining me then?” you asked with an amused huff.
That made Nikolai’s face light up, “I love it when you quote me,” his tone dropped as he finally kissed you, “And yes,” he murmured with a smirk.
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pepperonijem · 1 year
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be here with me || nikolai lantsov
Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x fem!reader Warnings: none Genre: fluff Word count: 788 Summary: it's been a long day, but it's okay because at seven you will be here with me
A/N: inspired by the song 7PM by BSS feat. Peder Elias. there are no thoughts, no lore, no plot. just fluff and nikolai. give the song a listen <3
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It wasn’t much of a stretch to say you were tired. The kind of tired that feels like it’s been building up for weeks – sneaking up on you like wavelets against the sand, growing and growing until you find yourself sinking under tsunami tides. 
Rebuilding a kingdom from ashes of a war was no simple task, even for the most seasoned of veterans. Too many things to do and never enough time. Too many people to please and never enough resources. Each day was a paradox, twenty-four hours dragging like molasses out of the mouth of a glass jar while you run on against the stream. Every rise of the moon was a welcome sight to you, a sign that although tomorrow would be its own battle, for a few hours you could enjoy the pale glow of the moon. 
Tonight, however, instead of retreating to your private rooms to enjoy time alone with your lover, you found yourself longing to be outside of the palace walls. You send a courier to deliver a message to the king, a short message of  “meet me at the river,” and make your way to the quiet banks of the indigo waters to wait for him. It doesn’t take long for him to find you – it never does – and with the sound of grass breaking, you feel warm arms wrap around you from behind. 
You don’t turn around until he calls your name — not the name used by the people to address you but rather the one kept secret for moments like this. “My love,” the dulcet tones of his voice harmonizing with the crickets and the river waters. You can tell he’s smiling as he calls for you, as he always does, and when you turn around it feels like falling into starlight. His disheveled hair after a day of frustrated ticks is ever so golden, glowing in the white light of the moon and his blue eyes catch the broken reflection of light against the water. It happens quicker than instinct that you reach a hand to rest against his cheek and for Nikolai to release a soft puff of air, as if only now can he finally find rest. 
“Come sit with me, darling,” you beckon to him and he quickly complies. He gently pries your hand from his cheek, opting instead to hold it in his as he fills the space beside you, close enough to feel your thighs touching and you loop your arm through his to fit yourself to lay in against his shoulder. This is home, you think to yourself. 
It isn’t long before the quietness is filled with stories about the day. Although you had spent most of the day in your husband’s company, it was never enough, with only fleeting glances across meeting tables and secret smiles shared in passing. In the daylight, he was Nikolai Lantsov, the people’s King of Ravka. But here with you… he was your Nikolai, dearest. Although your relationship was well-known among the people, it was moments like this that you indulged in like a delicious secret between the two of you. Once the silence comes to find its way between the two of you once again, Nikolai turns his head to press a kiss against the crown of your head. 
“What’s that for?” you lift your head up to smile at him. He shakes his head bashfully before giving you a soft smile and bringing your entwined hands to his lips.
“I just missed you,” he replies sincerely, his free hand coming up to push a hair back from your face pointlessly as a chilling breeze sweeps it back out of place. You let out a chuckle as Nikolai sighs in exasperation with a pout. However, when he notices the slightest shake of your shoulders in a shiver, he immediately stands and extends his hand out to help you up. “Come? Before the winds turn icy.”  
With a laugh, you slip your hand in his, leaning against his shoulder as he tucks your hand into the crook of his elbow. “Is the fearless king afraid of the cold?” You look to see him roll his eyes as he pulls you closer into his side.
“Never,” he replies with a scoff. “But I’d rather like to feel my wife’s skin under my fingers, and I can’t do that when they’re frozen numb.” As if to prove his point, he wiggles his fingers before poking you in the side teasingly. 
To his defense, you completely agree. But more than that, it didn’t matter where you were together, so long as you were together. Come storm or high hell, Nikolai was always your resting place as you were his.
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bi-bard · 1 year
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Impressive - Nikolai Lantsov Imagine [Shadow & Bone]
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Title: Impressive
Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov X Reader
Word Count: 1,760 words
Warning(s): canon-typical violence
Summary: The four times Nikolai was desperate to impress (Y/n). And the one time that they could admit that he succeeded.
Author's Note: Kinda hate how much he grew on me so quickly.
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Number One:
I knew that one day I would have to cross the Fold again.
That did nothing to change how much I dreaded it. I was terrified of being stuck or killed. I could put on a brave enough face, but all I could think about when I thought of the Fold was all of the tragedy that accompanied it. The pain and death and misery. Not just my own, but the world around it.
That was enough to scare me to my core.
And then, Nikolai let us in on his method of getting across the fold.
Well, he didn't tell us anything. He showed us.
I watched as the ship shifted into a different machine that then separated from the rest of the ship. The sound of engines starting was accompanied by shaking and very little explanation.
"Oh, saints!" I wrapped an arm around the main pillar in the hopes of keeping myself steady. I looked over. I could see us moving upward. "Flying? Are you serious?"
"You sound impressed," Nikolai replied, lifting his arm so he could rest his elbow against the pillar next to me.
I glared at him for a moment. "Terrified."
"Oh, don't be," he waved off my worries. "We've made many improvements since the ones that crashed."
"Thank you," I said sarcastically. "The history of you crashing to the ground is unbelievably comforting."
He held his hand out to me. "Come here."
"I'm comfortable here-"
"(Y/n)," he pushed.
I took a deep breath and relented, placing my hand in his.
He pulled me over to the railing. He moved to grab my upper arms, holding me in place so I could look out at the view.
"What do you think," he asked.
"That I may vomit over the edge," I muttered.
"Lovely," he mumbled back before walking away. "Just don't lean too far over. I would hate for you to fall."
I looked at the distance below us before quickly stumbling away from the edge.
I heard a laugh behind me, causing me to glare at Nikolai again. He just smirked at me.
This time together was going to be far too long.
Number Two:
Finding out the truth about Nikolai and his family was a harsh shift for Alina, Mal, and myself.
I didn't get to confront him at first. Alina took that responsibility into her own hands by punching him.
With all of the people and information, I didn't get the chance to say anything until we were riding toward the Spinning Wheel.
"Were you ever going to tell us the truth," I asked as Nikolai moved to ride alongside me. "Or did you hope that it would never be a relevant conversation?"
He chuckled. "I will admit that I hadn't quite planned how I was going to tell you the truth."
I nodded.
"It was all in the hopes of doing good for the people I loved."
"Why would telling the three of us make any difference?"
"Would you have ever trusted me if I told you who my family was?"
"Do you honestly believe that I am inclined to trust you now?"
He paused. We each looked at each other for a few spare moments before I turned my attention back to the path before us.
"I will earn your trust," he said after a while.
"I will be very impressed if you manage that," I replied.
"Even more motivation to do so."
I turned to him again, but he had already started to look straight ahead with a smirk sitting on his lips.
I couldn't tell if I was irritated by his confidence or if I respected it.
Number Three:
Staying at the Spinning Wheel was an interesting experience.
There was no question of the tension in the air. After what the Darkling had done, the royal family and their soldiers weren't exactly supportive of Grisha's being among them.
Nikolai seemed insistent on making peace. Ever the diplomat.
Hence his proposal to Alina.
A move that admittedly caught me off-guard, but I had no comment about it. It wasn't my place to say anything about it.
I was standing off to the side of the feast, taking the time to allow my head to clear from all of the noise.
"I hope you aren't being scared away."
I looked over to see Nikolai walking over to me with a proud grin on his face.
"Not at all," I replied. "Basking in the pride of uniting two feuding people?"
"Oh, we both know Alina will have much more power in that endeavor," he looked down at his drink for a moment. "How are you? How is your stay treating you?"
"I am quite content," I explained. "May I ask why you were wondering? Surely, my comfort isn't at the top of your list of priorities."
"Why would you say that?"
"Well, if I'm not mistaken... shouldn't you be more focused on your engagement," I asked, looking over at Alina.
He chuckled. "I would, but I find you far more interesting."
I looked back at him in shock. I couldn't find a word to say in response to that. I just froze for a moment. No sarcastic remark or insult could find its way to my lips.
"Careful," he mumbled. "You'll catch flies with your mouth hanging open like that."
I quickly closed my mouth and looked away from him.
"Quite impressed that I have the ability to render you speechless."
"Have a good night, Nikolai."
"You too, (Y/n)."
I had never been so embarrassed at how someone saying my name made me feel.
The prince was beginning to feel like a distraction.
Number Four:
I had no real reason for staying with Nikolai when the others went into the Fold.
I had merely held onto the belief that they didn't need me as much as he and his men did.
I was right, but that didn't mean that I had any power that could stand against the shadow monsters that the Darkling had created.
It felt senseless. Over half a dozen fighting one monster and making no progress.
I would have called it hopeless if the creature had pinned Nikolai to one of the pillars. After that, all I could feel was anger. Anger and fear.
Once the monster faded, all I could do was get to him as fast as I could. I had never been susceptible to such tunnel vision, but with Nikolai, it was different.
"Nikolai!"
I helped hold him up, so he was leaning up against the pillar. He was panting, his eyes wide. I had never seen such clear panic written on one person's face.
I grabbed the sides of his face so he would look at me. It took him a moment to recognize me, but when he did, his hands reached up and touched mine, holding them in place.
"Saints, you're alive," I muttered, feeling tears building in my eyes. I leaned my forehead on his, not putting any thought into the action. "You're alive!"
"You sound impressed," he mumbled back, smirking at me.
"You want to make jokes now," I asked, leaning away from him.
He simply shrugged, hissing at the pain in his shoulder.
"Come on," I said. "We need to go find the others."
He nodded, allowing me to help him off the ground.
I caught Tamar giving me a knowing look as I did so. I ignored it.
I had much more important things to worry about than whatever was between Nikolai and me.
And the Time He Succeeded:
I grinned at myself in the mirror.
It had been ages since I had found confidence in my own reflection, but if there were a day to find it, then Nikolai's coronation day was not the worst.
I had been so focused on admiring myself that I barely heard the knock at the door. I called for the guest to come in before my brain had truly recognized the sound.
I turned around the footsteps cut through the silence of the room. Nikolai stood before me. He was dressed for his day. I smiled at him.
"Wow," he mumbled, a smile stretching across his face.
"What," I asked. I chuckled a bit. "Impressed?"
"I'm always impressed by you," he replied. I tilted my head a bit, my eyebrows furrowing for a moment. "Why do you think I spent so long hoping to be in your good graces?"
"I assumed it was a way to hold up your ego-"
"It was because from the moment that I saw you, I knew there was something different about you," he cut me off as he explained, stepping closer to me. "You caught my attention so easily that it was almost unfair. I had no choice but to get you to see me as I saw you."
When he stopped moving, I felt as though my heart were in my throat. He was so close. Too close. It would have been so easy to lean forward and close the pointless distance that separated us.
But I didn't.
Instead, I asked a question, "And how do you see me?"
"Brilliant," he immediately said. His voice was soft. It sounded distracted as if he hadn't meant to say it out loud. "And brave. And strong. And... lovely. And protective. And gentle, even though you don't let that show very often."
I would have chuckled at the final comment if I hadn't been so stunned.
I had been called brave before. I had been called strong before. I had never had someone associate my name with the words lovely or gentle or brilliant. Maybe I had simply never captured someone's attention for long enough for them to find those words.
"I could use a million words to describe you and I would never feel as if I had said enough," he whispered. His hand came up to cup the side of my face.
"Nikolai," I mumbled.
He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine before I could think of what I was going to say beyond his name.
I slowly kissed him back, suddenly becoming aware of just how little experience I had when it came to matters like this. I tried to ignore that nervous feeling in my stomach.
He made it much easier. As he leaned closer and held me just where I was, I found myself with little else to think of beyond him. No fears or simple worries could pull me away from this moment.
Yes, I was definitely impressed.
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milayawr · 8 months
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If requests for Nikolai are still open, how about the good old jealousy trope? Either a jealous Nikolai or a jealous reader? I don't mind either way. And I'd prefer an established relationship but even if you don't want to do that that's cool. Thanks!
Hi! Thank you for your request! Hope you like it. Sorry, it took a little while to write.
Flames of a Feeling
Nikolai Lantsov x F!Reader
Warnings: jealousy
Word Count: 1,711
Notes: I kinda like it when men are jealous but not toxic. Also, Nikolai being obsessed with his girl is just making me blush.
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Nikolai felt his veins burn with the flames. The flames went through his whole body and then finally found his brain. His brain was melting with the feeling he did not want. He knew that you loved him. You never tried to hide it and gifted him your love and affection. He just couldn't help himself. He maybe this primitive feeling was just for a moment, and then it would all be gone.
He was wrong.
Even if it's been two days, he felt this feeling he didn't want to name burn his whole body. The feeling was altering his mind. He loved his wife and when he tried to give this feeling a reason, he told that to himself.
He loves his wife, that's why he's jealous.
His trust in his wife was infinite. If he went blind, he would trust you to direct him. The problem was not trust. Nikolai had found the problem in himself. While he was drinking his kvas, he was thinking about this matter. His wife was laughing and having fun with another man, which was your old friend. Nikolai never knew this man because he was from your hometown, but heard of him before. From his wife.
You would tell him how talented he was. He was even good at shooting, dancing, and sailing. He was kind, thoughtful, and handsome. He was not blond as Nikolai was but it was not the deal.
The deal was he had hurt his wife because of his feelings towards this man. And the worst part was you didn't understand why he was jealous. You knew he was but you didn't know the reason. You were having fun with the reason at this moment.
Your friend, Jay, was going today and you were outside of the palace with him. Nikolai knew the moment you stepped in Ravka you loved the kingdom and you were so eager to show this exquisite beauty to your dear friend. You had invited your husband but Nikolai had to refuse. He couldn't stand the guy. Even though he was a good man Nikolai wanted to choke him in the sea.
Maybe that would show his sailing skills.
"Saints," he sighed. "What am I thinking?"
If you knew the thing that crossed his mind, you would be so upset about it. Nikolai didn't want to break his wife's heart, so he really needed to calm himself down and sort the problem out.
He left his glass on his desk and got out of his room before he could even think. He was furious with himself because he was so desperate for your affection. He was craving your attention. He was jealous and selfish. You were all he could think, drunk or sober it didn't matter. He was in love with you and he was jealous of your relationship with your friend.
The moment he left the study room he saw you slowly walking. A smile was there, hanging on your lips. Nikolai loved seeing your smile. Your happiness was his comfort. Those lips... He just couldn't stop thinking about them. The way their shape changed when you smiled made his heart beat faster and wilder.
Nikolai had every right to be jealous. You were gorgeous, and kind and made him feel every emotion at the same time. However, he did not feel comfortable with this particular feeling.
"Nikolai," He heard your voice. He didn't realize you were this close to him. "Is everything okay, love?" You asked while your brows shaped into a frown. Still beautiful.
"Yes, everything's all right." He found himself saying those words. It made his tongue burn in some way. "I just wanted to come for you. I thought I'd broken your heart with my attitude this morning."
You just laughed at him. "You did not break my heart." You said. "Jay has a long way beyond. I just wanted to say a proper goodbye to him. This might be the last time I see him."
Why did he just feel so relieved?
He followed you as if he were a lost puppy when you started to walk into the palace. "I'm sorry to hear that." He said. The lie had marked his tongue. He felt like lying to the beauty was a sin in itself. "Did you have a goos time though?"
Your smile grew bigger, "It would've been better if you were there with me but it was fun."
He felt the sudden guilt possess all over his mind. He didn't want to break your heart or upset you, but he did it because he was just jealous. It didn't feel right. Nikolai's brain stopped working since your friend Jay came to Ravka and he couldn't find a way to start it again.
"I was a little busy today," He wanted to come up with a joke but the words that had left his mouth were all lies. He didn't do anything besides drinking and thinking. He was relieved that he was still sober. "I hope you're not upset with me, love."
"No, why would I be upset about this. Don't be ridiculous, Nik." You held his hand in a tight grip. "I just thought you were off today. Because last night you worked till three in the morning. That's why I've invited you."
Nikolai wanted to slap himself. He wasn't acting like himself for days and he hated it. What you said was true, he did some paperwork at night and came to bed after three in the morning. He was off today because he knew that Jay would be gone today. He had presumed that Jay would be gone earlier than this and Nikolai would have you all to himself, spend time with you, and beat jealousy. It didn't go as he planned.
"There was something important that I must have been missed last night."
"Did you sort it out?"
"Your trust in your excellent husband might be gone, love. Of course, I did." He winked at you and you slightly blushed.
You stopped at the door to the library. He was following you without asking about the destination. You rose on your tiptoes and kissed his sweet lips. Although you wanted to keep the kiss short he didn't let you go and deepened the kiss.
His lips were tangling with yours like a harmony that had been forgotten in history. He was trying to forget about the flames of the feeling. Nikolai only wanted to have you all to himself. He was selfish and he knew it. His feelings for you were not easy to explain.
He sighed as you parted your lips from his. There was that smile again on your pretty lips. The lips that he kissed, not Jay. The eyes looked at Nikolai with passion and love, not to Jay. The nose that tickled his neck when you shoved your face into it, not Jay's. You were his and he was yours, and there wasn't a third person in this equation.
"I love you, Y/N." He said with a serious voice. He loved you more than himself, Ravka, and his ships. More than the sea and the earth. More than the stars that hang on the night sky. More than the warmth of the sun. More than the infinity. More than more.
"I love you too, dear." You said, love dripping like honey. "More than you love me."
He leaned his forehead onto yours. "I have to admit something."
"Hm," your smile grew bigger and turned itself into a grin. "I may have a guess or two."
Of course you did.
Nikolai couldn't keep the flames inside of him anymore, so he opened his heart fully to you. He didn't even know when he closed it but it might be because of some particular friend of yours.
"I'm dying because of how jealous I am."
He opened his eyes when he heard you giggling. "I realized that." You pressed your hand to his cheek when he started to pout like a sweet child. "Nikolai, it's okay. I just wanted you to tell me when you felt comfortable. I didn't want to force you to open up."
You with your golden heart. Nikolai hugged you close as his heart started to beat faster. The heavy feeling of the emotion went off of his shoulders. "I'm sorry it took a while."
"You should because, for a damned minute, I thought you'd never tell me." You kissed his chin. "It's okay to feel jealous, my lovely king. I always feel jealous when I see you around any woman, believe me. Though, I must say even Jay understood your feelings."
He laughed at your words. "You and your friends." He left a soft kiss on your hair. "Was I a rude host?"
"The rudest, but your glamour makes everything fine."
He was grateful that you didn't judge him for this. He knew you wouldn't judge anyone by their feelings but he was scared of what you might think about him. He didn't consider that his feelings were too obvious, though. Even Jay understood!
You kissed him again as he was looking at you with dreamy eyes. This time you deepened the kiss. Your kisses made his whole heart shake. He was burning with the feeling, but it was not the same anymore. It was your pure love for him.
You smiled to his lips as you talked, "Come on, let's read together and seize what is left from the day." You pulled him with you as you opened the door.
Nikolai felt like his heart had become a feather. He felt relaxed and drunken with your love. His jealousy finally left its place for your honey-flavored love.
"Wait, you get jealous when you see any woman around me?" He asked when he understood every word that had left your mouth. He couldn't believe he missed that one.
"Nikolai!" You laughed. "Of course not, I only told that to make you reassured."
"Hmhm, I certainly believe that."
"Believe what you want."
He laughed as he cuddled you in the middle of the library. Your laugh intertwined with his.
He loved to hear your laugh.
He loved you as you loved him. Or maybe a little more.
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historianthesecond · 11 months
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Who Came In With the Sea [Masterlist]
> Main Index
Nikolai Lantsov (Sturmhond! Edition) x Fem!Mermaid!Reader
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Synopsis: When you’re rescued from a slaver ship by a privateer and his crew, you have to get used to life aboard the Volkvolny as you try to uncover how to avenge your capture and those who you left behind--just as your place in this new world where there seems not to be a home for you anymore. 
Tags: Strangers to Lovers| Mermaid AU| Magic & Rituals| Seeking Revenge| Found Family if you squint| Slow Burn| Canon Divergence| Pining| Crushes| 
PART I:  After rescuing a group of prisoners from a slave ship, Sturmhond finds a particular hostage that seems to be more than it meets the eye.
PART II:  You recover while in the Volkvolny, but the sea’s call become stronger  every day until you can’t ignore it anymore. Sturmhond seems suspicious  of you, and after the jump, perhaps his doubts about you will be proven correct.
PART III:  When your true nature is revealed, you strike a deal with the ship’s captain even though you wish to return to the sea more than anything, but even when you call the sea your home, you know something is not right...
PART IV:  You’re ready to have the upper hand to face the ones hunting you, but it seems that the storm is closer than you thought.
PART V, First Half: Amidst the lightning and blinding rain, unwanted visitors try to seize the ship, seeking more than to raid it, for they’re not common pirates--or at least, not anymore. They were sent to hunt you down.
PART V, Second Half:  When the fight is over, the storm is rages; but it’s time to recollect yourself and think about what to do next now that the path toward revenge had been settled. Also, you promise Sturmhond something you hope you can fulfill.
PART VI:  Every day you get closer to Rakva, the land once you called home and that now only brings back haunting ghosts. Though you aren't alone as you think you'd be, once it's time to face the nightmares.
PART VII: Back in Rakva, there are things waiting for you beneath the waves...
PART VIII:
PART IX:
PART X:
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undiscovered-horizon · 10 months
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Who am I to complain? - Nikolai Lantsov x Reader
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[emotional and verbal abuse, unhealthy parent-child relationships]
SUMMARY: When your parents come to visit, Nikolai finally understands why you've never been keen to talk about them. Being the King and your husband, he isn't afraid to defy them.
WORDCOUNT: ~ 4.5k
>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist<<
"Have you listened to anything I've just said?"
Nikolai shakes you awake from being lost in thought. You look away from the insanely interesting skirting board you had been staring at for the past ten minutes. He’s watching you with raised eyebrows, awaiting an answer.
"I…” you hang your voice. At first, you wanted to just apologize and ask him to repeat himself but then a sense of dread sprouts in your abdomen - one you can’t quite put a finger on but it takes over your entire mind. “I'm sorry, Kolya. Please, don’t be mad at me, I’m sorry,” you plead, gradually speaking faster.
“I’m not angry,” he states firmly. “But I am growing concerned for you, love. What’s going on?”
“I just keep thinking about my parents' visit,” you confess while rubbing your forehead. “Ever since the letter arrived, I can hardly think about anything else."
"Yes, I've noticed you have been a bit absent for the past few days. I assumed you were going to talk to me when you're ready. Are you?"
"They're not bad people," you begin in a strange tone that makes Nikolai doubt your words right away, "and they've only done their best to give me a good life. Despite that, they have a tendency to bring out the parts of me I've grown to dislike." 
“Isn’t that what every family does?” he jokes in hopes of easing your visible discomfort. But his good humour is gone the moment you look away with a sombre expression stuck to your features.
Nikolai always considered himself exceptional at self-control but something about your sadness makes him gradually abandon reason. As you forlornly stare into the darkness of your shared bedroom, he’s ready to stick feathers to his clothes and pretend to be a peacock just to make you laugh.
“Love,” he calls out softly. His hand rests between your shoulder blades. “You’re the queen. If you want, we can call their visit off right away.”
“That would be a little rude, no?” you ask in a meek voice.
“It’s a lot more crude to make you cry.”
“I will be alright, really,” you reassure him. That miserable look on your face is slowly creeping away. “It’s just three days. Maybe they’ve changed or they’re a lot better than I remember. I’ll be okay.”
Nikolai is unsure whether you’re trying to convince yourself or him but he doesn’t push. Despite not believing your clumsy words of reassurance, he trusts you - he’ll step in only when things really get out of hand.
Nervousness and excitement often feel the same and one might even fool themselves into believing that the mortifying tension in their muscles is actually an impatient thrill. Today, however, you don’t even try playing a little trick on yourself. The more you think about your feelings, the more you’re convinced that it’s not even nervousness but fear. Still, you don’t quite understand why exactly your parents’ visit elicits such awful emotions from you.
The door to the throne room opens and a man in a white and gold livery steps inside. He quickly walks halfway to the dais with the throne. 
The servant bows as deep as he can and clears his throat before loudly announcing: “Presenting her most royal Highness’s, the Queen’s, mother and father.”
Only then do your parents emerge from the hall, walking hesitantly through the spacious throne room. Two guards are following them and your father spares them a confused glance every few steps. But the armed men only usher him to keep walking and not turn his back to the king until allowed to do so.
Feeling fear exploding in your chest, you grip Nikolai’s shoulder even tighter. Sitting on the throne, he has to look up to meet your eyes.
“Calm down, it’s going to be alright,” he says quietly. A reassuring smile curves his lips. “You said it yourself.”
As though he is a Heartrender himself, his words make you relax. You take a deep breath and let go of his shoulder. At that moment, Nikolai stands up to greet your parents as their son-in-law first and only then the king of Ravka.
Right then, your mother quickly runs up the few steps leading to the dais. Her face is red and a deep crease now separates her eyebrows.
“I have to wait to be announced to see my own daughter?” She’s barely containing her outrage. “Nonsense!”
“I’m royalty now, mother,” you explain calmly. Your voice almost doesn’t shake.
“And I’m still your mother, the one that gave birth to you. Do I not get any benefits from that?”
Maybe some people don’t actually change.
“I’m afraid you don’t.”
“Is this gold?!” your father exclaims in shock as his hand reaches for your heavy necklace. “So because of you most of Ravka is starving?”
Too occupied with the jewellery, your parents don’t notice the palace guards stepping forward to arrest them for such an accusation aimed at the queen. Nikolai spares them a meaningful look, waving them off. In his heart, he agrees with them.
“Actually, this is a gift from a businessman in Kerch,” you say quietly. Suddenly, you remember why you’ve never visited them since your wedding.
“Still, don’t you think this is a little distasteful?”
Your mother places her hand on your father’s shoulder. “She’s always been vain, darling,” she reminds him.
You’re not a queen anymore - at least you don’t feel like it. All of the gold, silk and jewels are gone and you’re back to being a scared, little girl with hay stuck in her hair. Tears sting your eyes.
Whatever you do is wrong. All of your efforts are underwhelming. Maybe they’d be happier if you weren’t there.
"You're crying?” your father asks with a hint of disgust in his voice. “Oh, don't be so sensitive, you know we’re only joking!” He’s still holding your necklace in his fingers, admiring the glistening crystals. Standing so close to you, he lowers his voice significantly to appear inconspicuous but Nikolai manages to pick up his calloused words. “Pull yourself together, this is embarrassing.”
As she usually does, your mother brings the attention back to herself. “She can be a bit much at times, so I hope you’re a patient one!”
The guards exchange questioning looks, silently asking one another if they should intervene this time. Most of the time they follow Tolya and Tamar’s steps but they’re left to their own devices on this day as Nikolai ordered the twins to take a day off. Perhaps it’s for the best - they’d surely escalate this already uncomfortable situation but it’s only because they care.
“I’d say it’s quite the opposite,” Nikolai answers, unaffected. Despite his speaking to your mother, he’s looking into your eyes. “I can never get enough of her.”
“For most of her life, I thought she’d never get married!” your mother continues. She’s gripping your arm with much more strength than her appearance suggests. “Men don’t like them independent, stubborn and opinionated.”
Nikolai’s polite smile doesn’t falter. “Three qualities of an excellent Queen.”
Your mother laughs obnoxiously. “Just wait a few years, dear.” She pats his shoulder. The guards look between themselves again. “You’ll be quick to send her off just like we were!”
Both of your parents laugh wholeheartedly while you and Nikolai exchange knowing looks. Now he understands why you have been so uneasy lately. This is going to be the longest three days of his life.
The perplexity continues as your mother suddenly places her hands around your waist, examining your torso in great detail. A sour expression forms on her face.
“Oh, honey, you’ve let yourself go,” she says in a worried tone. Her eyes trail the curve of your physique up until she looks at your face. With a serious glint in her eye, she advises you under her breath: “You can’t get fat and slobby if you want to keep the king.” 
The man who announced your parents appears again but this time he walks all the way to the stairs leading up to the throne, although doesn’t dare climb them. His facial expression borders on emotionless and serious as though he’s more of a marble statue rather than a servant.
“Your most royal Highness.” The man bows deeply. “The room is prepared.”
“Excellent.” Nikolai uses the opportunity to cut the awkward conversation short in a diplomatic way. “Escort our guests to their chamber.” 
“Right away, мой царь.”
When the butler disappears around the corner with your parents apprehensively following him, Nikolai looks at you with a grim expression. 
“Are they usually like this?” he asks, disapproval hiding between his words.
“They’re worse at home,” you answer with a shrug. A lot of terrible feelings and thoughts you were convinced you had left behind are coming back and you’re unsure how to handle that.
“You’ve put up with this kind of disrespect for your whole life?”
“It’s not disrespect, just…” you hang your voice looking for the right expression, “tough love. They don’t mean any harm.”
“Don’t mean any harm?” he repeats in disbelief. “They’ve been here for fifteen minutes and they are yet to say something nice to you. Neither of them even asked whether you’re doing alright.”
A short, troubled sigh leaves your lips. Your fingers trail the golden embroidery decorating his kaftan. “I’m married to a dashing, handsome king and live in a palace. I think they know I’m doing well.”
His hand gently grabs yours, keeping it against his chest. “As much I like flattery, especially coming from you, you can’t pull wool over my eyes, love. It’s not a matter of knowing but principle. Remember our wedding? The guests kept asking how you’re doing so much, you kept saying you’re perfectly fine before they even got a chance to ask.”
The memory elicits a chuckle from you. Yes, everyone seemed to be preoccupied with making sure you were happy and satisfied. It came to such a point, you yelled at Nikolai’s cousin ‘Yes, I’m fine!’ before she gave you a weird look and asked if you wanted some vodka mixed with your champagne. Truly, the only royal thing about Marina is her ungodly fortune but maybe that’s why you’ve grown to like her a lot - she’s down to earth and easy-going.
Nikolai squeezes your hand in a gentle, reassuring manner. “Just say the word and I will personally throw them out.”
“Kolya!” You gasp at his offer but it quickly turns into laughter. “They’re my parents and your in-laws!”
“They also refuse to show care and respect towards my beloved Queen.”
That mellow, loving look in his eyes nullifies any annoyance you might feel at his stubbornness. You pull your hand out of his grasp and place it on the side of his face. Consciously or not, he slightly leans into your touch. “I appreciate your concern.” Not minding the guards in the room, you’ve grown used to their constant presence, you peck his lips shortly. “But they have just arrived. You’ll warm up to them.”
Nikolai doesn’t answer at first. He only reconnects your lips, kissing you deeper, more desperately. When you feel his hands coming up to your waist, you lean away from him. For a moment, you swear you can see a grimace of dissatisfaction on his face.
“Be decent,” you reprimand him but the wide smile you wear so well rids your words of all seriousness.
“You started this.”
“And I will finish if you play nice.”
Nikolai takes a rather long step back, away from you,  just to make a point. He’s standing with his hands behind his back, an excited grin on his face. “You make an exquisite diplomat, you know that?”
“I learned from the best.”
The time for dinner came faster than you wanted it to. Anxiety bubbled inside your chest again. Still, you continued trying to soap up your eyes with thoughts that maybe when they sit across the table from a king, they’re going to withdraw their little jabs at you. As they say: Hope is the mother of all fools. And you’re about to learn that.
Nikolai raises his cup with wine. “A toast to our beloved Queen,” he announces in an official tone. Out of the corner of his eye, he spares you an adoring look. “Without her, I’d be a lonely, perplexed king. May we not know the world without her.”
To your horror, your father decides to join him. “May she get a grip and come to her senses.”
The dry wine tastes even more bitter as you take what’s supposed to be a celebratory sip. What if he’s right about you? It’s only the beginning of the evening and you already wish you can miraculously vanish or, worst case scenario, just run away. 
You’re about to take a bite of the roasted pheasant on your plate when your mother looks at you with raised eyebrows. She points her fork between you and the plate. “Should you really be eating all of this?” 
You don’t answer her. Whatever you say will only egg her on. Get a grip, you scold yourself and clench your fist to push fingernails into the sensitive skin of your palm. The pain is distracting, grounding.
 "You know, sweetheart, you're not getting any younger,” your mother continues. She always does that - throwing poignancies one after another and seeing what sticks. Now, when she’s literally the mother of the queen, she’s even bolder than before.
“Mother-”
“Don’t interrupt me.” She points her knife at you. “All I’m saying is as a wife, especially the queen, you have only one duty and you shouldn’t wait with it. Things will only get more difficult as you age.”
Nikolai gives your mother a bright smile. “Have no worries,” he cuts in. “We’re not waiting.”
You almost drop your fork. Flustering people is definitely one of his strategies but must he really involve your sex life in his word games? Although mortified at his bluntness, you must admit it works - your mother’s face is about the same shade as the roasted tomatoes on her plate. She casts her eyes downwards, poking at the food in front of her.
The air is filled with awkward tension but Nikolai doesn’t seem to mind in. In fact, he looks quite proud of himself. You, on the other hand, aren’t as good at putting up a believable front.
“So,” you begin in hopes of easing the atmosphere”, how are things back in…” You hang your voice. You were about to say ‘home’, only to realize that it would be an honest lie. The little town where you grew up hasn’t been home in years. “...Tamboyevka?”
“Oh, you know,” your mother says as she makes a dismissive wave with her hand. “Same old, same old. Cattle and field, nothing interesting to someone of your sort, I presume! There’s never been much use of you anyway.”
Listening to your mother’s condescending words, you push your fingernails further into the skin of your hand to distract yourself from the feeling of shame that continues to grow inside your stomach and pull you down with it. Maybe the marble floor will swallow you whole in the next few minutes and all of this will be over.
Then you feel Nikolai’s warm hand sneak between your palms, breaking up your painful distraction. He leans towards you ever so slightly and whispers:
“I’d much rather you pinch and scratch my hand than hurt yourself.”
You look at his concerned face. Words of reassurance, ‘Don’t worry, I’m alright’, nearly push past your lips when your father chimes in, continuing the conversation.
“But your brother, he bought some land down south,” he announces with excitement.
“More land?” you ask. “Ha barely manages with what he already has.”
The memory of your brother’s tired, grey face flashes before your eyes. Every time you see him, he looks even sicker than before as though he never sleeps or eats, only works in the field. He even collapsed on one July day and your parents kept saying that this is a sign of an honest, hard-working man but you weren’t as quick to call a man throwing up everything he eats ‘healthy’.
“You know how he is, always helping others.” Your mother is beaming with pride as if she’s the one doing the farming. “His crops feed two villages and it’s not nearly enough for him! Said he wanted tomatoes and citruses.”
Then it hits you. It’s not a revelation in any way but rather something you don’t think about too often - most of Ravka doesn’t get fruits in winter, especially the ones growing in warmer climates near the Shu Han border. And you not only can easily get it even when snow covers the grassy fields but you’re essentially fed it. Like that one time, you shared a tangerine with Nikolai while sitting in front of a fire, talking about unimportant things.
Despite your mother sitting right in front of you, her voice echoed in your head as though she’s a phantom haunting your thoughts and not a real person: Selfish. Spoiled. Entitled. Ungrateful. People starve because of you.
You focus on Nikolai’s warm, rough hand that’s still holding your own. The pleasant sensation is gradually grounding you, pulling you out of your head and into the present moment.
“What for?” you ask as casually as you can, not giving in to the spiralling thoughts. It still feels like you’re underwater, desperately gasping for air as your lungs burn. Squeezing Nikolai’s hand, you break the surface of the vicious tides trying to drown you in panic and shame.
Your mother, on the other hand, appears completely oblivious to your plight. “Some child told him they’d like oranges and he couldn’t say no. He’s wonderful, truly. A living Saint! What a blessing to call him my son. You should take a serious cue from him, young lady.” She waves the tip of her knife in your direction again. “But enough about your brother. What do you do when you’re not wasting time? Lay around and smell nice?”
“Well,” you swallow nervously, already knowing that she won’t be satisfied with your answer, “I meet a lot of people, take correspondence, travel across the country or read if I find the time.”
Nikolai must notice the telling crease of disappointment between your mother’s eyebrows. He joins the conversation under a skilful facade of a proud, boasting husband. “Don’t sell yourself short, love. Our Queen,” he puts strange stress on the title, “has started a scholarship for disadvantaged children, takes the time to teach young girls sewing, foreign languages and arithmetic.”
“That’s quite useless, isn’t it?” your mother looks between you and your father, not acknowledging Nikolai’s presence. She keeps stabbing the roasted pheasant on her plate with a fork as though there’s still life inside the poor poultry. “Shouldn’t you try harder?” she hisses at you. “If you continue being this lazy, the whole kingdom will fall apart! What will our neighbours say then?”
Nikolai suddenly gets up. He’s still holding your hand but you can’t be sure whether he’s doing that on purpose or if it’s just an unconscious reflex. The candlelight from the crystal chandelier cascades off his face, pronouncing the clenched muscles of his jaw - he’s angry and barely holding it in.
“Our meeting at this table is adjourned,” he announces in a firm voice. “This is beyond unacceptable. I have overlooked your transgressions simply because of your affinity to my wife. Still, I am disheartened and disappointed with the way you address your queen in her own home. The guards will escort you back to your chambers.”
You hear your mother and father trying to argue and protest, saying something about you being ‘too proud’ and ‘forgetting your place’ but you’re so dumbfounded you can’t make out the details. The guards lead them out of the dining room through one of the tall pairs of doors. When they close behind them, everything goes silent - the brick walls muffle any turmoil your parents might be causing.
Suddenly, your throat constricts. It’s hard to take a breath. Has it always been so hot in here? The tips of your fingers tingle, blood never reaching them.
He threw them out and you didn’t say anything. If they didn’t hate you before, they surely do now. You’re a disappointment, not their child. They haven’t done anything wrong, after all. You’re no good, useless, ungrateful, dramatic.
Suffocating with panic, you run out of the room through a different pair of doors, across the dining hall from the ones behind which your parents had recently disappeared. You hear Nikolai’s footsteps behind you but they are muffled by the noise of bloodflow ringing in your ears.
“Hey, talk to me,” he calls out in a soft voice. You turn around to look at him. His hand is almost at the height of your shoulder but it momentarily drops as though he just backed out from touching you. “What’s going on?”
For a man as smart as him, that’s a really stupid question.
“Why did you do that, Nikolai?” you snap at him.
His eyebrows furrow slightly. A gasp of disbelief brushes past his lips - he clearly thought the two of you were on the same page. “They were insulting you over and over again. I couldn’t just sit and listen to that.”
Truly, you should have expected that. He’s been adamant about standing up to your parents from the very beginning. Still, you’re angry that he just had to be stubborn and do the one thing you explicitly asked him not to do.
“What happened to laugh at insults? Isn’t that your own advice?”
“It is.” Nikolai finally finds it in himself to place his hands on your shoulders. “But I found myself unable to remain collected when the bitter words were aimed at you.” His palms brush against your dress and the skin of your neck until they’re cradling your face.
“I can,” you state firmly. “You should have let me handle this, I’m used to this.”
You escape his loving grasp and he lets you. Walking forward away from him, you’re not quite sure where exactly you’re heading. ‘Away’ would be a lovely direction but quite impossible when you’re confined to those four walls of marble and gold.
“You shouldn’t be,” Nikolai calls out after you.
Suddenly, you halt. You look at him around your shoulder. “What?”
“You shouldn’t be used to being treated like this,” he says in a defeated tone while walking towards you again. “They just keep putting you down, humiliating you. You’re not even slightly upset about that?”
“Of course, I am but…” you hang your voice, finally questioning your own feelings towards your parents. “It’s unfair for me to be angry with them. Ungrateful. I never went hungry or cold. They gave me medication when I was sick and made sure I went to school. Every year they’d give me something for my birthday. Neither of them has ever raised their hand against me. They’ve done all they could to give me a good life. Who am I to complain?”
“You’re the Queen,” he drones the word. His hand holds the side of your face again, thumb lovingly brushing your cheek. “People say your name in the same breath as the names of all the Saints. When I don’t know what to do or what decision to make, I always ask myself what you would do. And I’ve never once regretted that. There are important people who have agreed to my invitation only after hearing that you’ll be there too. You change everything. So you get to be angry when someone refuses to see that. I know you can take a few mean words but I don’t want you to.”
For a moment, the two of you stand in comfortable, intimate silence. Your absent gaze is stuck to the floor as you’re pondering his words. Whenever you’re about to accept that maybe, just maybe, you’re doing something good and important, the voice of your mother echoes inside your head: ‘Vain’. But Nikolai wouldn’t lie to you, would he? At least not in those circumstances.
“Can you keep a secret?” he speaks up quietly, bringing your attention back to him.
“Don’t tell me you put a wild racoon in my parent’s bedroom,” you joke, surprising yourself at your newly-found humour.
He scrunches his nose. “Alright, can you keep two secrets?” The echo of the empty halls carries your bright laughter. “To be honest, I wanted to marry you the moment you argued with me about stealing that merchant frigate in Kerch.”
“I could tell,” you answer with a slow nod. “You had a really stupid look on your face, all dazed and absent. In fact, you wore the same one on our wedding day.”
Nikolai’s lips turn into a playful smile and he’s about to say something definitely smart and smooth but a servant interrupts him:
“Your most royal highness,” she says nervously as she curtsies, “your mother wishes to see you. She seems thoroughly upset, if I may say so.” Judging by her fearful, wide-open eyes, she must have gotten a taste of your parents' hurt ego.
Anxiety once again floods your mind. Maybe you should go, apologize and pray they won’t go on a tirade about ‘raising you differently’. But then you hear Nikolai inconspicuously but meaningfully clear his throat.
‘You’re the queen’, his voice echoes in your head. A queen doesn’t cower and bow her head, does she?
“Tell her I don’t take visitations tonight,” you order the servant.
“Right away, моя царица.” She can’t hide the waver in her voice. Judging by her already fearful demeanour, she can guess quite well what will happen the moment she relays the information.
Yes, you will have to warn your parents that they actually can’t hurl insults at your servants. It’s going to be challenging, yes, but this newfound confidence is a ferocious beast, driving you to own up to the title of the queen - not in the way your mother and father want you to but in a way that you need to.
“Oh, one more thing.” The girl immediately stops and turns around at the sound of your voice. “Make sure they don’t leave their wing until either of us says so. I don’t want them wandering around my home.”
“Of course, my Queen.”
The servant bows again and leaves the two of you in a rushed step. Nikolai waits until she disappears around the corner to let his hand drop to the small of your back. He leans in close, indecently so. “I love it when you get all commanding,” he whispers against your neck.
An airy laugh leaves your lips as he pecks the soft skin behind your ear.
____
мой царь [mo-ee tzar] -> my tsar/king
моя царица [mo-ya tsa-ree-tsa] -> my tsaritsa/queen
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euphoniumpets · 1 year
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Against the wall | Nikolai Lantsov x reader
Summary: being risky was the word that nikolai never cared about, especially when it came to you.
A/N: i need more smut for my husband nik <3
Warnings: smut, fingering, public sex, p in v, just smut with no plot.
i can't stop looking at him like, look at him he's so prettyyyyy
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Nikolai presses you against the wall with his mouth on yours while he tries to cover up your mouth. It has been several days and you two were busy to rebuild Ravka. Almost everybody interrutpted the two of you and both of you were growing frusterated.
So, when Nikolai had finished his late meeting and everybody was asleep, he saw you walking through the corridors after your Queen duties and didn't waste a second to grab you by your wrist and place you against the wall.
He roughly kisses you on the mouth before going down on your neck and licked a stripe along your neck, making you whimper and moan at the touch. Nikolai roughly places his hand over your mouth while he continued to kiss you before his hand trail down lower to your stomach.
You are utterly embarrassment because of the sudden act and knowing that anyone could walk through the corridors at any moment. But you are too busy to try and keeping quiet while you felt his fingers play with your wet folds.
''Nik-'' You whimpered through his hand. He just huses you and kept fingering while rubbing your clit. ''Be quiet, love,'' You heard him whisper into your ear. Nik almost has a heart attack when he feels that you are tightening through his fingers and felt you orgasm and scream into his hand.
He didn't stop there when he drifted his fingers away and ubuttoned the buttons on his pants before taking his hard cock out. You moaned when you felt him lift your right leg and place it around his waist before rubbing his cock around your folds before entering.
You heard him moan into your ear and it was the hottest sound you've heard when he leaned into you. He began to thrust roughly in and out and your legs began to shake. Nikolai had to steady you against the wall so that you wouldn't collapse in front of you when you reached your orgasm.
Nikolai placed his hand onto your mouth and you couldn't hold it in anymore as you felt your orgasm releasing, letting out a small scream into his mouth when you felt the hot liquid entering.
You and Nikolai didn't move for a while as he still kept his cock inside of you. You let out a heavy breath before letting out a small laugh. ''Next time, warn me when this happens,'' You replied as you saw Nikolai grin at you.
Nikolai leaned to your face and rubbed his nose against you. ''But where's the fun in that?''
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happyhauntt · 1 month
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stay, i pray you — nikolai lantsov.
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series masterlist | writing masterlist | askbox
─── summary: nikolai has a decision to make. anya makes it for him.
─── pairing: nikolai lantsov & anya kamenev (original character.)
─── warnings: takes place during seige & storm just after sturmhond reveals himself to be nikolai. angst, hurt/no comfort, pre-established relationship. this one's gonna hurt.
─── word count: 2.1k.
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     "I've had an idea."
     The military encampment at Kribirsk is as familiar to Anya as the freckles on Nikolai's nose, the garden of her father's estate, the brittle ache of her injured knee. Crashing the Hummingbird had not been part of the plan — and her body had certainly not appreciated the impromptu swim in the nearby lake — but the First Army officers had recognised her and Nikolai, affording them all the honours of their stations and escorting them to the commander's tent.
     Anya hadn't felt all that comfortable with it. She may have been Lieutenant Corporal before her discharge, but it has become increasingly difficult to love the army that raised her while it serves the country that abandoned her. General Raevsky had once been her commanding officer. She and Nikolai had served under him on the northern border, oh, how many years ago now?
They'd both been green as grass, infantry grunts who'd never handled a rifle, never fired a shot or seen a battlefield begin to bleed. Raevsky greeted her like an old friend when they stumbled onto shore, asked how she was fairing as if he hadn't seen her only a few months ago, before she helped the Sun Summoner flee Ravka by smuggling her onto a ship bound for Novyi Zem.
     The tent Anya finds herself in is small but serviceable, with clean, fresh clothes laid out on the bed and a small plate of food waiting on the table. Nikolai disappeared shortly after their arrival, most likely to offer up an explanation to the commanders, but when he finally reappears, he finds Anya combing out the knots of her damp hair with her fingers, changed into a clean, loose shirt and army-issue trousers. She feels as if she never left the army and the thought makes her nauseous.
     "You have an idea?" She raises an eyebrow at him as he steps tentatively inside, allowing the tent flap to fall closed behind him. A playful smirk dances over her face. "Given that your last idea sent us crash-landing into a lake, I must admit I feel a little apprehensive."
     He huffs at her, an almost-chuckle that sends alarm bells ringing in her mind. A jibe like that would usually send him on a ranting spiral, fussing all about how his invention hadn’t been the reason they crashed and had, actually, worked exactly as intended for the majority of their journey.
     Teasing him is easy, and the way he smiles when she does sends warmth pouring through her. Seeing him so subdued is… troubling, to say the least. He hangs up his sword and crosses the tent to perch on the edge of her bed. His eyes remain fixed on the floor the whole time.
     Kneeling in front of him, she allows her fingers to graze over the bruise blossoming on his cheek. His eyes fall closed for a moment. "She really got you, didn't she? Our dear Sun Summoner has a mean right hook."
     "Believe me, I know. Scrappy little thing." Nikolai flexes his jaw and opens his eyes, and all once, Anya knows. It's written in the tiny lines between his brows and the quirk of his mouth and the ache in his eyes.
     "What is it?" she murmurs. Her fingers linger on his face, and he leans into the warmth of her, just slightly. Her knee protests, but she doesn't dare try to stand up. "What's happened?"
     He swallows roughly. "I've told you before, haven't I, about coming back here and helping Ravka. About fixing it before it's too late."
     Whispered conversations in a dimly-lit cabin flutter through her mind. Wishes pressed against her skin with kisses, hopes and dreams caught up in a lover's embrace. I could be better than Vasily, he'd said, and she had believed that, the way she believed the sun would rise in the morning. I could save Ravka.
     She hadn't told him the truth, then. She'd taken his dreams and folded them up into her own chest, to keep safe beside her heart, but she hadn't wanted it the way he did. Anya would sooner see Ravka burn. She cannot bring herself to feel mercy, not where this Saints-forsaken country is concerned. Not after it abandoned her when she needed it most.
     Now, she nods. A damp tendril of hair falls past her eyes. "I remember. You said you... you would find a way to convince Vasily to step aside, and your father would make you the heir. But it wasn't a plan. You said you didn't know how you'd do it, yet. Just that you wished you could."
     She may never forget it. The panic that struck her, bone-deep. The way his ambitions have haunted her ever since. He may not have known it then, but a ticking clock had been set that day. Anya never knew when their time would run out. Only that she would never be ready for it.
     He smiles, now. A rueful thing. There is no need to hide with her, no need to put on that winsome devil-may-care act he wears like armour. She is not a politician he can sway to his side, nor a danger he can charm his way out of, and yet he smiles at her. She is so beautiful, and soft, and she's not wearing her armour, either. Not here, not with him. There is nothing to smile about, and in a few moments it will all be different, but right now she is his, so he has to smile. He has to.
     He may weep, otherwise.
     "Kolya." Her voice is so quiet, barely more than a whisper, and he is so sure that she knows, already, without him having to breathe a word.
     His throat goes horribly tight, an invisible hand wrapped tight around his windpipe, as if that will stop his confession. His eyes flit to the roof for a moment. They start to sting.
     "Alina's power is the key to Ravka's survival," he says. Every word feels like lead on his tongue. "The Apparat has turned her into a living Saint, and the people love her. If I'm to make a bid for the throne and convince Vasily to step aside, it can't just be that I'm the best man for the job. That won't matter. But an alliance with the Sun Summoner might sway the odds in my favour."
     Anya watches him for a long moment. He holds his breath as time stretches, and eternity seems to pass before she even blinks. She withdraws her hand, allowing it to rest lightly on his thigh. The absence of her touch lingering in his face burns like a fresh bullet wound.
     He wonders if you can die from missing someone who hasn't gone anywhere yet.
     "An alliance with Alina." Anya narrows her eyes as the pieces click together in her mind." You mean—"
     "I'm going to ask her to marry me." His throat feels rough as sandpaper. "A political marriage, in name only. The game has changed and Alina is the only one who can level the playing field."
     He keeps talking, but Anya can hardly hear him. Her brain began to buzz with white noise the moment she heard the word marriage, as if her skull is home to a thousand angry wasps and someone suddenly decided to shake the nest. She can feel her blood rushing in her ears, her heartbeat thudding in her throat, but she doesn't dare give herself away.
     Anya Kamenev is a soldier, but she is also a future duchess. Her mother would be proud to learn that all those etiquette lessons didn't go to waste. Summoning a decade of training, her old governess' instructions rattling through her mind, her face remains delicate and empty. Not a muscle twitch or a quiver of her lip, not a hint of sorrow flashing in her eyes. She might as well be carved from marble. Her heart sits in her chest like a stone.
     "Nastya." The nickname he gave her in their army days is salt in an open wound. Nikolai reaches for her, grasps her hands in his as if she is all that can anchor him to this world. "I don't know what to do."
     "Of course you do." Somehow her voice is gentle, even though she feels jagged at the edges, like touching her might make him bleed. An instinct tugs at her, to curl her fingers around his own and hold him just as tight, but she can't bring herself to move. "You wouldn't bring it up to me if you hadn't already thought it through. You're a clever man, Nikolai. The cleverest I know, and don't let that go to your head. You know what you have to do now. You just want my permission to do it."
     Is it crueller, somehow, to ask for permission? To hand over her heart, and the knife too, as if that will make it hurt less when he carves it from her chest?
     A wet laugh bubbles out of him. "Trust you to keep my ego in check even now, Anya."
     "Someone has to," she says. She heaves herself into a standing position, wincing as her knee cracks and tiny bolts of lightning spike up her leg. "Although I think Alina will do a brilliant job. I don't mind handing over that responsibility to her."
     "Don't." Nikolai is on his feet in a moment. One hand remains in hers, his grip tight as a vice, but the other curls around the back of her neck. His thumb brushes softly over her cheek. The warmth of it makes her shudder. "Don't say that like you're going anywhere. I'm not sure I can do any of this without you."
     "Of course you can," Anya murmurs. Saints, she isn't sure the torture she endured at the hands of Shu Han's scientists hurt this much. If she closes her eyes, she can almost believe he's taken a blade and gutted her right here, like a fish on the deck of his ship.
     A ragged breath tears out of him as he says, "Alright, perhaps I can. But I don't want to."
     When he kisses her, it doesn't feel like a kiss goodbye. It doesn't feel like their last kiss in a thousand. There's a ferocity to him as he clutches her, teeth clashing, but that doesn't change the truth of it. He can hold her as tightly as he wants, but they both know she has always been smoke in his hands.
     “I would give you anything,” he says against her mouth, pressed together like hands in prayer. She feels his breath stutter against her tongue, hitched with a sob he will not set free. “Name it. Palaces and jewels, the moon, a temple built in your name, the heads of every man who ever harmed you served on a silver platter. Name it and it’s yours. Just stay.”
     Your heart. The tear slides down her cheek unbidden, and he kisses it away as he has done a thousand times before. She catches his lips with her own and kisses him again, fingers tangled in tendrils of his hair, still rough with saltwater no matter how many times he washes it. Your heart, your hand, a life with you away from this Saints-forsaken country.
     She’ll stay. She will, because Anya is a soldier, and though she no longer has any loyalty to Ravka, she still believes in him. And there is no pain in the world that could hurt more than abandoning him now, no matter how much she wishes she could.
     “Anything.” His voice, barely a whisper, a plea to those forgotten saints who have never seen fit to bestow a miracle upon them. “Anything, my darling.”
     He sinks to his knees before her, presses his forehead to her stomach. She leans and kisses the crown of his scalp, lingering a moment to breathe in the salt and sea of him. Ravka will never know how lucky it is to have a prince so loyal. She doesn’t know what they’d done to earn such devotion.
     “I know.” Despite the tears, her voice is deceptively still. Your heart. But he had already sworn it to his country, long before he ever loved her. “I want the same as you, Nikolai; peace and prosperity for Ravka.”
     He snorts against her stomach. His arms wrap tightly around her middle. “Liar.”
     “Always.” Pushing him away would not be the worst torture she has endured, but she worries it will scar her far longer than any blade could.
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wheres-mylove · 1 year
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my heart, truly yours | nikolai lantsov x fem!reader
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Summary: They were never meant to have a future together. Nikolai’s responsibilty draws him away from the love of his life.
Disclaimer: English isn’t my first language!
Word count: 0.5k, short little angsty baby 
It was honestly a shame that a Heartrender, a woman who held such power over other people’s hearts, was never going to be able to gain power over her own. It belonged to someone else. Nikolai Lantsov could bend it to his will, break it, toss it away. And she was helpless. Because no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t rip the longing feeling from the depth of her soul.
She used to be certain that she had known her place very well. A Grisha. Not a royalty. Baghra would definitely call her a stupid, stupid girl now. And she deserved that title. The stupid little girl who let a prince conquer her heart.
He could kiss and cherish her when his hair was bright red. Those were the times for being reckless. For allowing your feelings to guide you.
And now she was attending the engagement party of the man she loved. But she wasn’t betrothed to him. Alina Starkov was.
“Someone’s looking a bit pale. Aren’t you delighted that our beloved prince is going to marry the famous Sun Summoner?” a voice sneered behind her back. Vasily Lantsov. Always so sweet.
“Of course I am, moi tsarevich. How could I not be? It’s a great day for Ravka,” she managed to choke out, twirling the glass filled with champagne in her hand.
“Interesting,” he commented, smirking in a way that made her sick. “Everyone knows, darling. And everyone in this room is pitying you.”
She took a deep breath to compose herself. Talking back wasn’t an option. Giving him a heart attack neither. So she remained silent.
Vasily scoffed and left her in the middle of the crowd. She was searching for a familiar face of Mal Oretsev, but she couldn’t find him among the guests. The one person who could understand her pain. Maybe he was a bit wiser than her, and saved himself the trouble of showing up. Smart boy.
Nikolai asked her to come there. Not very considerate of him.
The door opened, revealing a Lantsov prince and the most famous Grisha in the world by his side. They slowly entered, hand in hand.
Oh, dear heart. This palace was never a good place for you. Now you are being walked on. Broken with such ease. But still his to break.
Nikolai locked eyes with her. Glossy eyes. The ones she gazed into many times. Filled with love. And pleading for forgiveness.
She silently begged him to look away. To pretend not to know her. Royal court is observant. And he’s acting scandalous.
Alina seemed to notice, giving him a subtle reprimand. She thanks her for it by nodding her head. Starkov’s eyes were suddenly asking for forgiveness as well.
Heartrender couldn’t blame the girl on his arm. She could only blame herself for allowing Nikolai Lantsov to get so dangerously close.
In the chaos that came next, he was screaming her name. Praying in a frantic way to all known Saints. Keep her safe. Nikolai’s heart prayed for it.
Not a king’s heart. A lover’s heart. The one that always belonged to her.
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iliveiloveiwrite · 9 months
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Confessions and Confidences // Nikolai Lantsov
Request: what about a nikolai fic with the "there was only one bed" trope? IM A SUCKER FOR THAT TROPE PLEASE- something like nik and the reader went somewhere like ravka ovest (during siege and storm/ruin and rising) to promote his return and they end up staying for the night in a hotel somewhere but it wasnt the one they made a reservation in so there's only one room. - @the-massive-simp
A/N: Thank you so much for your request! I am so sorry it has taken me so long to write it, but I have to tell you - I loved writing this so much. I hope you like it, and I hope I have done it justice.
Warnings: female reader, pining, mutual pining, lots of feelings, friends to lovers, one bed trope, fluff, cute.
Word count: 2k+
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“Tell me how I did… honestly,” Nikolai requests, loosening his tie and rolling his shoulders to relieve the tension that had built there over the last three hours.
The carriage jostles you from side to side, leaving you faintly nauseous as you meet the eyes of the Ravkan prince. A fond smile creeps over your face. “You had them eating out the palm of your hand.”
Nikolai pauses; his fingers a freezing on the tight Windsor knot of his tie. He meets your gaze only fleetingly, but long enough for you to see the insecurity hidden in those crystalline blue eyes. Nikolai returns to his ministrations, fiddling with the navy blue tie as he asks you. “Do you think so?”
He huffs before giving up with the tie. You roll your eyes, scooting forward on the carriage bench, reaching for the wrinkled material. “I don’t think,” You murmur, working on the tightened knot. “I know so. I was in the crowd, Nikolai. I hear every gasp of awe and every hum of agreement.”
Nikolai’s gaze fixes on your face, searching for what he does not know, but his eyes do not leave your face as you battle with his godforsaken tie.
Silence falls in the carriage as you work with his tie, feeling it begin to loosen. A shout of victory rings true when the navy material gives way and Nikolai feels the tie relent. Satisfied, you sit back, crossing your arms over your chest. “I know,” You laugh, “I’m amazing.”
Nikolai snorts, tipping his head in recognition of your talent. “Of course,” He drawls, “I would never have done it without you… or the valet riding in the carriage behind us.”
Pouting childishly, you kick his shin. “Hush,” You say, “You know you would never survive without me.”
“Naturally,” He answers with a coy grin.
You smile at each other; unabashed, joyful smiles that leave your cheeks hurting in a matter of moments. You meet each other’s gaze; a silent battle breaking out over who will break and look away first as the tension begins to build. A tension that had become more and more noticeable over the last few months; feelings that you thought you had long since buried making their way to the surfaced with every touch, every laugh and every glance sent your way by the blue eye prince sat across from you.
You break first, turning your face to stare out of the window. “So,” You state, clearing your throat. “Are we heading back to Ravka tonight?”
Nikolai shakes his head. “It’s far too late and I think we all deserve a rest. I had someone ride ahead to find a hotel for the night.”
“Lovely,” You sigh, already dreaming of the bubble bath that awaited you.
Nikolai laughs, settling further into his seat as he lets any anxieties over tonight leave him in a rush. Instead, he thinks of the warm, comfortable bed waiting for him in his hotel room.
—————————————————————————
The scout Nikolai had sent out earlier meets the royal party close to their hopeful destination. Nikolai thanks the scout, promising him extra money in his wage packet and a day off for himself and his horse to recover.
Shocked by the prince’s generosity, the scout leads the party to the hotel in silence, thinking of what he would do with his newly awarded day off.
As the carriage stops outside the hotel, it becomes clear that it isn’t grand but rather a family run establishment that looks well loved. Nikolai exits the carriage and falls for its charms. He greets the owner with a warm handshake.
“We are honoured for your business,” The owner states, bowing at the waist.
“We are honoured to be your guests,” Nikolai replies, gesturing to you and the rest of the party.
The owner smiles. “I have provided my best rooms, but I’m afraid you may have to share if that is no trouble.”
“No trouble at all,” You smile, seeing the stress leave the owner’s face. “If you would give us the room keys, we can allocate ourselves.”
“Of course,” The owner allows, returning to his desk to find the keys he had put aside earlier.
You turn to Nikolai in the meantime. “How do you want to do this?”
Nikolai shrugs; he goes to speak but is interrupted by his valet, Roberts. “Sir,” Roberts begins, “With all due respect, we have already sorted ourselves out.”
“Oh?”
Roberts nods. “We often have to share on the road so we tend to stay with the same partners. It would seem that yourself and Miss (Y/N) may have to share this time too.”
You pause for thought, glancing at Nikolai. “Thank you, Roberts,” You dismiss with a friendly smile. You watch Nikolai watching the hotel owner hand everyone their room keys before he stops in front of you both.
“Your room key, your highness.”
Nikolai takes the key with a simple nod of gratitude. The owner smiles before departing. The rest of the party have disappeared, noting the time and the early start in the morning.
“Come on,” You murmur, nudging Nikolai to get a move on. “There’s a bath with my name on it and you’re holding the key.”
Nikolai breaks out of his trance, smiling in a way that could disarm entire armies. “Well, we wouldn’t want that. Would we?” He offers you his arm. “Are you sure you don’t mind sharing with me?”
“No,” You answer, fixing him with an unimpressed look. “I don’t mind so long as I have dibs on the bed closest to the window.”
The blue eyed prince laughs. “Deal.”
It’s a short walk to your shared room. Up a flight of stairs and along the corridor to the fourth door on the right. You quash yawn after yawn on the walk to the room, feeling your bones grow heavier as the tiredness begins to settle in. Finally, one yawn escapes you just as Nikolai slides the key into the lock.
“Will I have to fish you out of the bath when you inevitably fall asleep in there?”
You scoff. “Of course not. I’m wide awake.”
“Sure you are.”
“Stop arguing with me and open the door, Lantsov,” You command in time to his laughter.
“As you wish.”
The door clicks open to reveal a small and modest room. The late summer sun bathes the room in a warm light showcasing the bathroom to the left of the entrance, a single cream armchair and a bed.
A lone bed. One bed. Big enough for two, but not what was expected.
You pause at the sight of it. Numerous pillows and a duvet that all but screams comfort and coziness – they taunt you as you know this could be a problem.
“I’ll take the chair,” You announce, hauling your things to the corner of the room, ready to make camp for the night.
“Absolutely not. I’ll take the chair. You have the bed.”
“You’re royalty. Your title deems you to have the bed.”
“I’m also a privateer and have slept on much worse than an arm chair.”
You glare at the stubborn blonde. “It seems we’re at an impasse.”
“I agree. What shall we do?”
You sigh, “Look, I’m exhausted and you’re practically dead on your feet. I’m fine with sharing the bed if you are.”
Nikolai hesitates for a single moment before agreeing. You smile, happy that things are settled. “I’m still sleeping by the window, and I have first dibs on the bathroom.”
“I would expect nothing less,” Nikolai laughs, perching on the end of the bed to toe off his long worn in leather boots.
His laughter follows you to the bathroom where you immediately set the bath running and shut the door. You sit on the edge of the bath, testing the water temperature now and then as you try to calm your pounding heart. It was one thing to share a room with Nikolai, but it was another thing entirely to share a bed with the man who was the main character in your dizziest of daydreams.
Adding plenty of bubbles, you begin to talk yourself through the night. You let it become your mantra as the bath finishes and you undress. You repeat your actions of the evening to yourself as you slip underwater, wondering if it was all going to go to hell in a hand-basket.
Meanwhile, Nikolai undresses before rummaging through his overnight bag to find a pair of night trousers to sleep in. He remains shirtless, knowing he would get too warm in the night. Ready for bed, he closes the curtains and settles under the covers. He fluffs the pillows once… twice… before huffing and getting back out of bed. He paces the floor, back and forth as he feels panic mounting in his chest, rooting there and cutting off his breath. It was one thing to share a room with you. It was another thing completely to share a bed with you. Not when he found himself reaching for you in the middle of the night; not when he wants to be the first and last person you speak to everyday; not when he yearns for you with every fibre of his being.
The bathroom door opens, steam pouring out and Nikolai freezes. You look deliciously rumpled; soft and warm with your skin still flushed from the heat of your bath. Nikolai clenches his hands into fists; resisting the growing urge to pull you into his arms, confess everything and kiss you senseless.
“Aren’t you in bed yet?” You ask, hanging your towel to dry.
Nikolai shakes his head, doing his best to rid himself of the quickening of his heart. “Too much on my mind for me to settle.”
You come over; any of your own anxieties fade as you press a hand to his cheek, seeing the slight panic reflected in his blue, blue eyes. “You were great tonight, Nikolai. A true Ravkan prince. You should be proud of yourself.”
“Thank you,” He whispers, leaning into your touch.
“Let’s go to bed,” You say, a tired smile on your face as you pull away from the blonde, leaving him cold from the lack of your touch.
Doing your best to quash any butterflies, you slide into your promised side, letting out a moan of comfort. “This has to be heaven,” You announce sleepily; the words drowned out by a yawn.
Nikolai chuckles, sliding into bed next to you, finding it much easier to settle with you beside him. He fluffs the pillows, plumping them so they sit better under his head, and waits for sleep to come.
He waits and waits. He feels tired; he feels the weariness sitting upon his shoulders and his eyes want to close but they remain open, staring at the ceiling. “Are you awake?” He asks the darkened room.
Your sigh breaks through the room. “Yeah,” You answer, a slight tone of frustration to your words. “It’s as if I am so tired that my body won’t settle, and my mind won’t shut off.”
“I understand that all too well,” Nikolai sympathises, turning on his side to face you.
“Something you experience often?”
Nikolai nods, humming in agreement. “More now than before,” He explains softly. “It used to happen when I was away; my mind would be too loud, but I would go out on deck and stare up at the sky and watch the stars as they blazed their path across the sky. Instead of focusing on whatever what bothering me, I would think of the stars and what their paths would hold. They were directing us somewhere, but to where?”
“And what about now?”
He sighs. “And now I feel pulled in a thousand different directions. The role I play within my family and the role of Sturmhond…”
“You are beloved either way, Nikolai.”
“I don’t want to let anyone down.”
“You couldn’t. I was in the crowd tonight, Nikolai. I heard the whispers between couples and families; they were all in support of you. They agreed with your motivations, they loved your presence. If they could have you for themselves, I’m certain they would. I know there were a few ladies in the crowd willing to try.”
“You always know what to say…” He croons.
“I know you, Nikolai.”
He smiles; bright and true. It lights up his face, only enhancing his handsomeness. It makes your heart skip a beat. “Now, tell me about the ladies wanting me to themselves.” He chuckles, enjoying the slight boost to his confidence.
You huff, crossing your arms across your chest. “I shan’t. I’ve done enough for your ego for one night, I think.”
Nikolai splutters, incredulous at your refusal. “But… But…”
“Nope.” You refuse, shaking your head.
A smirk grows on his face; he leans closer to you before stating, “I understand now… You’re jealous.”
“Jealous?!” You cry, annoyed at how quick he hit the nail on the head. “I am not jealous.”
“Yes, you are. You’re jealous.”
You huff, casting your gaze to your lap, overcome with your feelings. It was all becoming too much; loving him from afar. Hearing the young women tonight, listening to how attractive they found Nikolai and how they believed they would make the right match for him. It hurt; it hurt hearing it and knowing that deep down it was true. Nikolai would find someone and love someone and marry someone who wasn’t you, and acknowledging that hurt more than anything.
“Hey,” Nikolai prompts gently, “I’m joking. I don’t expect you to be jealous. I’m sorry if I’ve gone too far.”
“But what if I am? What if I am jealous?” You breathe, your heart beginning to pound at your candor. Throwing caution to the wind, you meet his stare, seeing the understanding land there in the slight raise of his brows and turn of his lips.
“Well…” Nikolai begins, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I would have to tell you not to give it a second thought. There’s nothing and no-one to be jealous of.”
“Oh?” You whisper, feeling hope begin to bloom in your chest.
His thumb brushes your cheekbone as he hums in response. “You have nothing to be jealous of. I’ve been yours for a while now.
“Mine?”
Nikolai nods; his blue eyes no longer clouded with panic, but clear with intent and starting to brim with hope. He presses a kiss to your cheek; quick and fleeting. “Yours. I think I always have been.”
“I think I have always been yours too.”
“Thank the Saints,” Nikolai breathes, relief written clearly on his face. “It would have been awkward if this was one sided, love.”
“Oh Hush!” You laugh, nudging him slightly.
Nikolai grabs your arms, pulling you into an embrace that feels like the beginning of everything. You settle into him; your face pressed against his bare shoulder, inhaling the all too familiar scent of his cologne - oud with notes of vanilla.
A kiss is pressed to the top of your head. “We’ll talk more in the morning, but I want you to know that I’m eternally grateful for one bed.” Nikolai murmurs, promises ready to be made on the tip of his tongue.
You kiss the junction between his neck and shoulder, humming your agreement before sleep finally claims you both, deep and dreamless and in anticipation for what the morning holds.
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