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beautysamour · 1 year

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Wrong destination | chapter two.

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary: After running into Alina and Mal, the three of you try to get out of Noyvi Zem before getting caught. This leads you to another encounter that you’re sure will mess up the time line.

warning/s: none

taglist: @spellsofavalon @vera0124

enjoy!

“Only two ships in a harbor town? Something’s not right.”

The three of you were currently hiding between some barrels, the current plan was to escape by ship.

“Maybe Bohdan ordered them away,” suggested Alina, “But the first army doesn’t have jurisdiction here,” Mal replied quickly.

You’ve read some books about the first army but you weren’t a hundred percent educated on them. You found the first grisha queen’s story a lot more interesting, and inspiring.

You didn’t speak up at all during the conversation between the two and felt especially awkward when Mal leaned his forehead against hers, you felt like you weren’t supposed to be there.

Which you weren’t, but whatever.

The three of you stepped away from the barrels and began to walk towards the people in front of the ship. You clenched your fists on the walk down; Alina suggested bribing them with 20 million kruge, but you were still on edge from the fight from earlier.

When you reached the people at the ship, Alina outstretched an arm to them handing them a piece of gold, “It’s gold,” she says.

The girl who Alina handed the gold to, took it and- bit it.

“That’ll do,” she said before turning back to a young man behind her, handing him the piece of gold. The young man examined the piece of gold on his own before fully confirming to himself that it was real gold.

“Come on then, hurry up. I’ll take you to the captain.”

Apart of you was actually excited, you were going to be traveling with pirates, not everyone from your time can say they’ve done that. You tried to contain your excitement though, you didn’t want anyone to think you were suspicious.

You were about to say thank you and enter the ship before someone called out for you-“You! Stop!”

The fucking guards.

The girl you first met at the ship immediately stepped towards them, edging them on.

“You want to fight Ravka?”

Still on edge, you took your other shoe off and threw it at the group of men then immediately made a run for it onto the ship, followed by Alina, Mal, and the young man; leaving the young woman alone to humble the group of men.

—

“Let’s be clear about two things. I don’t take orders on my own ship. And we’re already underway, I’m glad you’ve joined us.”

The captain, you assumed, had his arms on the table in front of him, resting his weight on the table and leaning forward.

He had ginger hair and green muddy eyes. Although he wasn’t standing up straight, you could tell that he was tall. His nose was crooked, it looked as if he got it handed to him multiple times.

“Now, maybe if you’d be so kind as to give the room a little light,” he continued,” after all you are Alina Starkov. A 20 million kurge saint.”

He pulled out a gun from his jacket and set it on the table, voicing out a silent threat, “dead or alive.”

No wonder his nose was crooked, if you felt a little more confident in your fighting abilities you probably also would’ve decked him in the face.

“Before you continue with the threats,” you begin to say honestly not caring about what’s happening. You knew that at the end of this conversation, he would let Alina and Mal out, might as well leave the room as soon as possible, “could I leave the room? I don’t think I’m needed here.”

Tolya, whose name you learned on the way to the captain, let out a deep exhale.

The captain looked at you slightly confused beige nodding and gesturing Tolya to walk you out the room.

“Wait outside the door though, I have to speak with you too,” said the captain before Tolya came up to you and gestured you out the room.

You were hoping to have some quiet outside the room, but you throwing a shoe out of everything at military personnel amused Tolya to no ends, enough for him to stay talking about it for 10 minutes.

“Do you always throw shoes at people?”

“No-“

“Where are you from? You don’t seem like a Ravka girl.”

“Gee, thanks-“

“What brought you here-“

The door abruptly opening cut Tolya off mid sentence.

“Can you give them a small tour around the ship? Then bring them to the fancy quarters,” the captain said before turning his gaze to you and walking back into his office, implying for you to follow, and you did.

“Close the door on your way in,” he said.

You stood awkwardly in the middle of the room when you finished closing the door. The captain went around his desk and resumed the same position he was in when you first walked into his office.

“Now who are you?”

“Y/N.”

“No last name?”

“Who are you?”

“The name’s Sturmhond.”

“Is that your last name?”

“It’d be a terrible first.”

He leaned further on the table, quickly getting irritated at your distancing, “Alright, love, if you came any other day you’d probably be in luck for me to indulge in your little back and forth momentum, but you coincidentally came in the same time as the sun summoner. Not everyone just regularly travels with a saint.”

You looked away from him, afraid that he’ll somehow expose you to be a time traveler.

“So I’ll ask again, and only once again, who are you.”

“I just want a place to sleep at until we reach shore again.”

“That’s utter bull, love, and you know it.”

You look back at him, your emotional and physical tiredness catching up with you, “I just had the unfortunate luck of crossing paths with them, that’s all. You can use a heartrender,” you clear your throat, the memory of Elijah popping up in your head, “to make sure I’m telling the truth when I say I don’t have any ill agenda.”

“But you have one,” he challenges.

“When does someone not?”

He seemed to not have any remarks to that. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, he just kept his eyes on you.

“Very well,” he finally says. “You seem tired, I’ll show you where you’ll be sleeping.”

He gave you a small grin, looking strangely familiar to Elijah’ grin whenever he teased you.

—

“May not look like the fanciest, but I swear, it’ll feel as such. Well actually that’s a lie, but what can you expect from a hammock at sea? Enjoy your stay, love.”

You let out a breath you’ve been holding since you walked on to the ship once Sturmhond was far away for you to feel slightly relaxed.

Your area was small and was set in between two other hammocks that belonged to complete strangers. Fortunately you didn’t have any luggage with you so you didn’t have to worry about anything getting stolen. You didn’t even have any shoes.

Wow so classy.

You put one of your legs up on the hammock, attempting to get on it. You failed. Then you tiptoed and set your lower behind on the hammock, trying to get on it once again. This time it worked.

You slowly recline your body, leaning on your side, before turning on your back, now looking up at the ceiling of this sleeping area.

“You would’ve loved this place, eli, you always wanted to be a pirate,” you laugh softly, remembering a childhood moment.

“Arrrr matey, give me your money!”

Elijah, a seven year old, threatened with his weirdly bent fork that was taped onto his pointer finger.

“Eli,” you exclaimed, “that didn’t even rhyme!”

“Arrr matey, pirates don’t have to rhyme my lady,” replied Elijah, pronouncing the end of lady like “ty” to make it rhyme with matey.

“Ew, don’t call me that,” you scrunched your face, cringing at the pet name.

Elijah dropped his shoulders as a pout formed on his face, “Y/N! Can you please play along? You know this is important for me, I have to pass my pirate audition!”

“Pirate audition?” You ask back, “Those exist?”

“Of course they do! How else would pirates become pirates?”

“I guess… ok I’m sorry, I’ll take this more seriously.”

A smile now showed on Elijah’ face, “Ok, from the beginning. Arrrr matey, give me your money!”

You smile, finding the entire thing childishly funny. Then the memory quickly becomes sour when you remember the scene of his head disconnected from the rest of his body. The feeling of having to throw up rapidly makes an appearance, but it stops before it’s too hard to control.

You close your eyes and try to leave the memory, forcing yourself to focus on your surroundings as you try to fall asleep.

—

“Look lively, topside now!”

You jerk your head up at the sound of a loud voice and push yourself up. You looked around for a few seconds before pushing yourself up completely and brushing any dirt that ended up on your clothes.

“Of course I wake up on the floor,” you mumble to yourself before heading to the ladder at the far end of the department, and climbing up to the deck.

“Hey,” you hear as soon as you get on the deck, “I meant to ask yesterday but it didn’t seem like the right time. Where’d you get your clothes from?”

Sturmhond walked towards you as he asked the question, seemingly waiting for you to show up.

“Where would you get yours,” you asked back as you started to walk away from him, not sure what he wanted. “Where’s Alina and Mal,” you ask before he could answer your rhetorical question.

“Haven’t came up yet. Why? Need the sun summoner for something?”

Of course he was weary of you, it’s not common for someone to genuinely help someone in this time period without wanting anything in return.

“It’s that rare to want to know how the well-being of someone who has previously helped you? Saints, that’s sad.”

Sturmhond snickered from behind you, “Yeah, pretty rare.”

You walked to a side railing, looking over it to watch the water sway beneath you. The ocean was always something that fascinated you; the fact that it makes up so much of the world yet very little is known about it.

Just like your very own power within you.

“Don’t touch that,” you heard from behind you. You quickly turned your head, the feeling of panic striking you, but relief flooded that feeling away when you saw that Sturmhond was talking to Mal and Alina; leaving you alone with the sea beneath your feet.

—

The sun set just as quickly as it raised. A few members of the ships crew, including its captain and Alina and Mal, embarked on a mission they had once the ship reached a rather mysterious looking island.

When they came back on the ship, it was announced that Alina received her second amplifier and the entire crew was able to watch as she attached it to her body.

Now everyone was asleep, except for you. Not being able to use your power and being stuck in an era that isn’t yours quickly made itself a reoccurring thought. What if you were never able to go home? You still had a family, still had other friends, you still wanted to save Elijah- but how? If you didn’t have your power then what.

Was there an amplifier you could use?

You momentarily stop thinking about these issues once you get to the deck of the ship, the stars in the sky immediately demanding for your attention. A memory of your mother telling you stories about the stars flood your mind.

You feel the soft breeze that always accompanies the ocean as you walk to the middle of the deck and sit down.

“Mom,” you whisper out, “the sea at night is just as you said.”

“Hey,” you hear from behind you, again. The same voice.

“Good evening,” you reply back, starting to get up as you turn towards him.

“It’s late out. Crews not allowed up here after sundown,” he walks towards you, offering you the jacket that was rested on his arm as he gets closer. You glance down at the jacket before looking back up at him, slightly taken off guard at how the moonlight seemed to perfectly light his face.

He’s definitely not bad looking.

“With all due respect, I’m not really apart of the crew,” you reply back, “I’m just here until we reach somewhere safe.” He stands for a few seconds, his hand still holding the jacket out to you.

Taking your words as a rejection, he pulls the hand holding his jacket back to him. He doesn’t say anything to you, he only walks to a side railing on the deck and looks up at the night sky. A comfortable silence rests between you two.

Assuming he wasn’t going to say anything else, you start to walk back to the ladder that led to the hammocks.

“Feel free to stay out, then.”

You stop mid step, mentally weighing the cons and pros of staying out here alone with a man who has made it clear that he does not trust you.

The sky is pretty anyways. You decide to use that as you reason to stay.

You walk towards the same side railing Sturmhond was leaning on, leaving a few inches between you two as you rest your weight on it.

“Why were you out here,” he asked, keeping his eyes straight down, watching the moons reflection of the waters surface.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh wow,” he chuckles while speaking, “you actually gave me a direct answer. Didn’t know you could do that.”

“And I regret doing so,” you say; more on the playful side however, indulging in some sarcastic remarks might be good for your sanity.

From your peripheral, you saw Sturmhond push himself off of the railing, you assumed he was going to walk back inside but he only did so to straighten his back.

“Even though you aren’t apart of my crew permanently, you still eat, sleep, and spend time on my ship. You’re still under my supervision, which means you’re in my crew,” he turns misled towards you, leaning on his side against the railing this time, “and I like to know my crew.”

Mirroring his body movement, you also turn yourself towards him. Maybe telling this stranger, who you’ll never meet again and who you don’t remember in any history books, a few things about you wouldn’t do you any harm. It might be good to make some friends for the mean time.

“Down for a few questions?”

“Alright, my name is Y/N.”

“Still no last name?”

“Still no last name.”

“Ok…,” he chuckled again. “If I can’t know your last name, then can I know how you met the sun summoner? Like I said, that’s not just some regular encounter. Why are you on my ship?”

“I want to go home,” you said; ignoring the first part of his question. “I got lost and I just want to go back.”

“Where’s your home?”

“Ravka.”

You heard a sound come from him, something akin to a laugh, “You’re from Ravka?”

“Yeah,” you said, a little confused as to why he asked again.

He turned his body away from you, looking off into the distance as the smell of sea water and the cool evening breeze took over your senses.

“What do you think about the prince,” he suddenly asks, still looking off into the distance.

The prince? Who was the prince at this time…

You tried to remember all the history books you read and cursed yourself for only really caring about the grisha queen- but then you remember a name that was commonly brought up alongside her and who was once king.

“The puppy prince?”

Sturmhond suddenly turned his head towards you, his expression mixed with surprise and annoyance.

Maybe he knew the prince…?

“Puppy prince?” He repeats, his tone unidentifiable.

You nod slowly, a little worried that you might’ve offended him, “I don’t know him personally and I don’t have an opinion on him, but I’ve heard people call him that.”

He ran a hand through his hair, his shoulder lowering as he rested his forearms on the railing; a sigh escaping his mouth.

He mumbles a few things under his breath that you were unable to catch on to.

“How’d you get away from home?”

“I,” you trailed off, not sure if you wanted to tell him that, “I’m trying to find a cure, for a friends sickness. He’s already in dire need of help, so I’d like to reach shore as soon as possible.”

He didn’t say anything. It was silent again; the sound of the waves and the breeze being the only audible thing at this time of day.

You push yourself off the railing, realizing how late it is; “Well, sturmhond, thank you for the company. I’ll be going back inside now.”

You began to walk away from him, looking up at the sky while doing so.

“Y/N,” Sturmhond says, causing you to stop walking before you could reach the ladder, “We’ll get you home. Promise.”

“Ok,” you respond with a small smile, not looking back at him, “I’ll keep you to it.”

—

“Come with us, it’s the fastest way to get you to shore.”

After your talk with Sturmhond on the deck, he’s been very persistent on updating you on how close you guys were to shore.

You were surprised that he seemed to care that much, about someone who wasn’t truly apart of his crew. You weren’t going to take that for granted though.

“When do you leave?”

“In an hours time, so pack quickly.”

“I-“ you began to say but he walked away before you could even finish, “…I didn’t even give you an answer yet.”

You sighed as you turned back to your hammock, that had nothing on it, since you had nothing with you. You decided to walk around the ship to make the hour go by quicker.

—

“Y/N!”

Alina, who you haven’t spoken too for some days, ran to you immediately at seeing you.

“Alina-“ she ran up to you quicker that you expected and pulled you into a massive bear hug, cutting your air circulation. “You’re coming with us?” She asked when she finally pulled away.

You nodded, “Don’t get my wrong, your shoe throwing is a very unique tactic but I don’t think that’ll affect the monsters in the fold that much.”

You froze at her words and just stared at her, dumbfounded.

You’re going into the fold?

“How’s it feel, ready to take on the fold?”

Mal asked while walking up to you two, specifically to Alina.

As Alina averted her attention for you to Mal, you took it as your chance to give them space. You still felt as if you shouldn’t be apart of any of their conversations since they’ve already had it without you; you didn’t want to mess up the timeline anymore than you assumed you already have.

Nervousness began to bubble in the pit of your stomach. In modern Ravka, there is no fold, you didn’t have to worry about any shadow monsters. You’re in the past though, you remind yourself. Of course your luck would lead you here.

“There you are, I was about to go looking for you,”to your right was Sturmhond who was currently walking towards you, “Excited?”

“Of course n-“ you stop yourself mid sentence. Yes, apart of you was upset that he was throwing you into the equivalent of hell, but he was also the reason why you’d reach Ravka sooner than most. So you didn’t really have any room to complain.

You inhale before restarting your sentence, “To get to Ravka? Yes. To travel through the Fold? No.”

He smirked at your words, “Aw don’t worry, we’ve got a saint with us- you two ready?” He asked Alina and Mal. They nodded, “Might want to hold on to something,” Sturmhond told you as he walked to the middle of his ship, where a lever was rested at.

“Prepare to decouple,” he yelled out. The twins, Tolya and Tamar jumped on the ship; surprising you as they seemed to have come from thin air. Sturmhond yelled out to someone on the other side of the ship before pulling the lever. Just on cue, Kovu, who Sturmhond yelled out to just a few moments ago, moved his arms in a precise motion, pushing air up and towards the sails.

You felt the part of the ship you were on began to lift into the air, you quickly grabbed on to the ledge and jerked your body back so you didn’t see the ground.

This is just like an airplane, you tell yourself in an attempt to slow down your rapidly increasing heartbeat. In front of you, Alina threw herself onto a bench; seemingly afraid. Mal entered your sight of vision as he came up to Alina trying to get her to get up.

You laughed at the view, not because you were making fun of her, but because of how common it is to fly in your time. You wonder how Alina would react to being on an actual airplane.

Still, even though your use to flying in the air, a creation like this-that you’ve studied in school before and is now on- it was fascinating. You slowly turn your body back towards the ledge, looking over it now and overseeing the view.

“This is amazing,” you meant to whisper out but it came out a lot louder than intended.

“Did you expect any less,” Sturmhond questioned as he stood next to you while leaning against the same ledge, “It’s like you haven’t even met me,” he joked. “Years and years of designs,” he continued, “and several dozen crashed prototypes.” He winced out the last part of his sentence, not the proudest at that fact, but it was expected.

You looked at him surprised, “You made this?” He nodded. “…you’re an inventor?” He nodded again. Of course he’s an inventor.

“I know,” he said with a smirk, “smart and handsome, gotta leave something for the rest of you all.”

You rolled your eyes at his cockiness; averting your gaze from him to watch the ground as you fly above it. You didn’t have a view like this on an airplane.

“Captain,” a crew member yelled out, “The Fold’s in sight.”

“Wonderful. Next stop,” he yelled so Alina and Mal could hear, “Destiny.”

—

It was all a blur, the time in the fold.

All you remember is Alina attempting to take down the Fold, then something happened which caused her to fail her attempt. Then suddenly it was all dark, and there were monsters, and gun shots, and screeches- it was horrific. Everything the history books said it was like.

And now it was dark again. You couldn’t see or feel, maybe you were dead. Then suddenly you hear voices.

“One, two, three,-“

And suddenly you saw light again.

Your body jerked up at the feeling of oxygen rushing into your lungs. Around you, you heard sighs of reliefs and thanks being given to the saints as someone aggressively patted your back and you coughed up the remaining water that was in your lungs.

You turned to look at the person patting your back and was met with someone completely unfamiliar, but attractive.

“Almost lost you there,” said the stranger as he wiped his mouth with the back of his palm.

“Who the hell are you-“ the sound of horns blaring and soldiers marching drained out your voice.

“You’ve crossed illegally onto Ravkan soil. Identify yourselves,” asked who you assume to be the commander of the group of soldiers as they came to a stop.

The blonde stranger next to you gave you another pat on the back before getting up from his current position on his knees, “I’ll handle this.”

“Have I really changed that much,” he asked as he jumped down from the wrecked ship, “I knows it’s been a number of years but people swear I remain boyishly handsome.”

You snort at his words. He may look unfamiliar but he definitely acts like someone you know.

Speaking of which, where is…

“It can’t be,” said the commander

“Yes it is,” replied the stranger as he took off his jacket.

“Moi tsarevich.”

As soon as the commander mumbled out those words, he and the rest of his troops immediately got down on one knee.

Tsarevich… prince…

“Alina,” you call out, “where’s Sturmhond?”

Alina looked back at you with widened eyes, as if she came to the same conclusion that you have.

Oh.

He was definitely someone you remembered in those history books.

#nikolai lantsov x reader #grishaverse #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov imagines #nikolai lantsov x you #sturmhond x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone fanfic #nikolai lantsov fanfic #nikolai lantsov x grisha reader #nikolai lantsov x y/n

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criminalamnesia · 1 year

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Dancing With Our Hands Tied

summary: Nikolai confronts you about unspoken feelings.

warnings: fluff, no use of y/n, not proofread, no gendered pronouns used (that I know of), grisha!heartrender!reader

author’s note: dancing with our hands tied by taylor swift inspired this! also listen I love zoya and nikolai but nikolai is just sooooooo ksjfjsjs I wanted to write a reader insert for him.

—

What you had with your captain was something no one understood– not even the two of you.

Sturmhond– or Nikolai, as you knew him in secret– was your friend. Your captain. But he was also something more.

He was a rogue ship, and you were a lighthouse guiding him home. He was a dangerous sea, threatening to drown you if you tested your luck– and oh, how you were so close to seeing what would happen if you did.

You shouldn’t even know his true identity. But, as fate would have it, he needed a heartrender with a specific set of skills that you just happened to have, and you needed an escape.

You were his tailor– disguising his appearance and turning him into the infamous Sturmhond. That was the only reason you were allowed to see him without his mask– you were the one to put it back together.

“You’re not surprised?” He had asked you the first night your services had been requested.

The ginger hair of Sturmhond had faded. The crooked nose had straightened, but the same smug grin was still present.

“No,” you had said. “I know that heartbeat. I knew it was you a mile from your ship.”

That took him aback. How did you know his heartbeat?

You had laughed, your eyes twinkling with something he found mesmerizing. He didn’t know you– he was sure of it. He wouldn’t forget a face like yours.

One of your hands was on his shoulder, holding him still. The other roamed his face, fingers dancing across his skin as you worked.

“You’re staring,” you stated, your fingers moving to his messy blond hair. “Trying to figure out how I know you?”

“Yes,” he admitted, eyes watching your face intently. “Were you at the Little Palace?”

You nodded. “I was.” The blond of his hair started to turn red. “But I spent most of my time in the Grand Palace.” You paused, your hand leaving his shoulder to move to his chin, tilting his head to the side. You could hear his heart beat a tad bit faster.

“The Darkling gave me to your mother, as he did with Genya. I was her apprentice. She taught me how to tailor.” You told him.

“I didn’t suffer the same fate she did, if that’s what you’re wondering. Your father had eyes for her, not me.” You couldn’t help the bitterness in your voice. Nikolai flinched.

“You were rarely home– but I met you once, when we were both still small. That’s why I know your heartbeat. The only one of the Royal Family to have a good heart– not a sour one. It stuck with me, I guess you could say.”

“I don’t remember you,” he admitted, and you gave a small laugh. His blond hair was almost completely red now.

“I wouldn’t expect you to. You’re not the only one being tailored, Captain. The First Army can’t take me back if they don’t recognize me, now can they?”

“Are you listening?”

Nikolai’s voice broke you from your thoughts. He was sitting on the bed in his quarters on the ship. You stood between his knees, your hands on his face as you changed him back into Sturmhond.

“Mhm,” you hummed. You weren’t. This routine was something you could do in your sleep, and truthfully, you found your mind drifting off more and more whenever Nikolai required your assistance. It’s not that you found his company dull– quite the opposite, actually. But you didn’t want him to know that.

“No you weren’t,” he gave a small chuckle, one of his hands moving up to grab one of yours. He pulled it from his face as he intertwined your fingers.

“Nikolai,” you hissed, pulling your hand from his grasp. “Do you want me to mess up? I was in the middle of reforming your nose.”

He sighed, his hand falling back to his lap as you raised yours once more. You avoided his eyes, knowing you wouldn’t like what you saw in them.

Between the two of you, he was the more open with his feelings. For the past few weeks, he had continuously tried to corner you and get you to talk about whatever the two of you were. To try and figure things out. You had successfully avoided him thus far, but you knew you were dancing on thin ice.

It was only a matter of time before he recruited one of the twins to subdue you while he forced you to listen. You wouldn’t put it past him, and you knew for a fact Tolya would help him. Curse that hopeless romantic.

“You’re insufferable. And exhausting,” he told you as you grasped his chin gently between your fingers, turning his face this way and that to examine your handiwork.

“I know. You tell me quite often,” you remarked, nodding to yourself as you moved to focus your sights on his hair.

He sighed. Silence engulfed the two of you. It was almost smothering, full of unsaid words and the tension between the two of you. You were suddenly aware of how close you were to him– his knees caging you in as you stood between his spread legs. His face in your hands, his hands now on your waist.

“We keep dancing around this,” he said. You didn’t reply, choosing to focus more intently on the roots of his hair. “The whole crew thinks we’re sleeping together.”

That caught you off guard. You gave a snort, rolling your eyes. “Of course they do. You call me to your quarters in the night, every week. You always stare at me, especially when you think I’m not looking. And you’re handsy– you’ve always got a hand on my back or my shoulder or something.”

Nikolai chuckled. “Well, you’re one to talk. Every time you laugh at something I’ve said, you grab onto my arm and go ‘oh Sturmhond!’. And don’t act like you don’t stare, too.”

“I do not say ‘oh Sturmhond’,” you said, looking down at him. He grinned that same crooked smile.

“I know you’re thinking it. Probably thinking some other things, too. Like how you’d like to–”

“Shut up, or I’m going to give you a black eye.” You hissed, pulling his hair harder than you should’ve.

He laughed. “You wouldn’t. You like my face too much.”

“Im sick of it, actually,” you remarked. “I see it everyday.”

“If that were true, you wouldn’t be here.” He replied.

“You say that as if you’d let me leave. I’m the only tailor you’ve got.”

He shook his head. “That’s not the reason I wouldn’t let you leave, and we both know it.”

You dropped your hands as the last of his blond turned red. Your job here was done. There was nothing stopping you from bidding him goodnight and excusing yourself to your own cot. You knew he would drop it and let you go without another word, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. You didn’t want to say anything.

“So now you’re keeping me prisoner?” You said, suddenly all too aware of his hands squeezing your waist.

“Maybe I am. At least until you admit you like me,” he said, and you scoffed.

“If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be here–” you began, but he cut you off.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

He moved to stand. You tried to step back, but his hands on you kept you rooted to the spot. You looked up at him, heat rising to your cheeks. Your chests were touching now, and there were only inches between your lips and his.

“When are we going to stop playing this game?” He whispered, one of his hands moving from your waist to brush a strand of hair from your face.

“You like it too much to stop.” You retorted.

“I’d like honesty more,” he said, and you shook your head. “As much fun as playing cat and mouse is with you, I’m growing tired of chasing. And we both know you’re tired of running.”

His hands were on your hips as he swung you around the deck, a laugh on his lips as you clung to his shoulders. You couldn’t help but smile as he dipped you, your eyes meeting his. There were unspoken promises in his gaze– too many feelings, and you had to look away.

Others danced around you two as a few of the crew played some song you’d never heard on makeshift instruments. Laughter and conversation made it hard to think straight. Spirits were high– you’d all just succeeded in breaking through a Fjerdan blockade– and that called for a celebration.

“They’re all going to think we’re together,” you had told Nikolai as he grabbed your hand and pulled you to the dance floor. He had laughed, leaning in close to whisper “let them” in your ear.

He had kissed you for the first time that night, after the party had subsided and everyone was asleep but the two of you. You had been talking quietly, watching the stars and listening to the waves, and he had kissed you and you had melted.

“Nikolai..” you sighed, your hands moving to rest on his shoulders. “This isn’t a good idea.”

“I don’t care,” he told you, and his heartbeat was as steady as it had ever been.

“I do,” you told him, meeting his gaze. “You can’t play pirate forever. What happens when you go back to Ravka, back to your family? You can’t marry me. I’m nobody– not a princess, not a diplomat. I’m an escaped servant who knows too much and would be imprisoned or executed for escaping.”

“Privateer,” he corrected, and you rolled your eyes. “And I’m the second son– a bastard second son. I’m already a disgrace in their eyes,” one of his hands moved to the small of your back, his thumb rubbing circles into the fabric of your shirt. “I can’t disappoint them any more than I have.”

“It doesn’t matter what they think of you now, they still won’t let me anywhere near you.” You replied, and he shook his head.

“Why are we even talking about this?” He asked. “We’re not in Ravka. We’re in the middle of the ocean, and no one cares what we do.”

He was right. You were far from Ravka and his family and your pasts. You were someone new, and he was, too. You weren’t an escaped servant– you were Sturmhond’s first mate. You were his most trusted friend– besides the twins– and you were the one he wanted.

And you wanted him, too.

“I don’t care about details,” he said, his voice low. “I don’t care about families or consequences or rumors. I care about you, about that little smile you always get before you win at cards, about how you let me drag you onto the dance floor while the crew stares, and how you put up with me more than you should.”

You didn’t say anything, too stunned for words.

“I would do anything,” he began, his face slowly inching towards yours. “To dance with you again. To kiss you again. To not hide behind stolen glances and little jabs at each other.”

“Nikolai,” you murmured, your eyes flitting down to his lips.

“Yes?” He asked as your eyes found his once more.

“Just shut up.” You said, and you closed the gap between the two of you, your lips meeting his.

Maybe nothing he said would be true in the morning. Maybe he would realize this was all a big mistake, but you didn’t care.

He was right. You were tired of running, and you were so glad he was tired of chasing.

And as you kissed, that heartbeat that you’d remembered after all these years– that you’d always remember– soared.

And you knew he wasn’t lying.

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pr-olvdr · 10 months

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reblog if you agree

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bey0nd-1he-stars · 1 year

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Anchor - Nikolai Lantsov

Masterlist

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Wordcount: 1247

Warnings: crying, mentions of wounds

Summary: You try to find Nikolai after the fight is over to make sure he is okay (based heavily on the Netflix show but I can't say that it's spoiling something)

The sun shined like never before. After being drowning in the darkness of the Fold, the sun seemed too bright. You’d made it through the battle with just a few scratches and some torn clothes, but overall you were alright. You’d been with Tamar at the start, but when the Fold had expanded and the volcra had made its way to the fort, you’d had no other choice than to split up if survival were to be left on the map. It'd been a game of hide and seek and fortunately, you’d won. The breath you’d let out when the sun broke through and the light came back, signaling that Alina had done it, it may be the most relief you’d felt in a long time. Until you saw what the volcra had left after their brief visit and you couldn’t find any of the others.

Nikolai wasn’t bearing any of his own weight, leaning on Tamar and Tolya as they made it out of the room and out to the frontside of the fort. Barrels and crates still stood there, a bit messier than before but otherwise it was alright. A few soldiers from the first army had started to gather those who’d been lost in the battle, they were lined up on the grass just outside the gate. Tamar and Tolya carefully sat him down on top of a pair of crates of some sort and let out a huff. Nikolai ran a hand through his blond mop of hair and started to look around for familiar faces. That’s when it hit him. Where were you? Had you survived all this chaos? You had to. In his frantic state of mind he made an attempt to get up but lost his balance until Tolya caught him. He gave him a nod in thank you and started to limp away to try and find you.

“Nikolai? what are you- where are you going?” Tamar asked and ran up to him. She placed an arm around his waist to help stabilize him. Nikolai came to a halt and threw an arm around her shoulders and propped himself up a bit.

“I have to find Y/N.” Tamar nodded and pulled at him, leading him into the fort again, “come along then.”

You were almost running through the corridors, throwing every door open, shouting names into the air. Your heels made clicking sounds against the stone floor that echoed in the hallways, your kefta was torn a few places and the buttons had come undone and it flew behind you like a cloak. The tears that had gathered in your eyes got closer and closer to falling with every door you threw open. Every door led to yet another empty room where chaos had passed and left everything in a mess. Here and there you were met by a few offers from the first army, a few grisha here and there, but no sign of Nikolai, Tolya, Tamar or any of the crows. When you’d almost given up, walking out of the latest room with tears running down your face and your breath caught in your throat, gasping for air, that’s when Nikolai rounded the corner in the far end of the corridor. At the shout of your name you whipped around and the sight of Nikolai and Tamar had you almost fainting with relief.

“Y/N!” Nikolai shouted. It echoed in the corridor and bounced off of the stone walls around you. The sun lit up the corridor and you could see him clearly. Nikolai let go of Tamar and propped himself up against the wall instead. And you ran. You ran straight into his arms, throwing yourself in his embrace and wrapping your arms around his neck, burying your face against his neck. He caught you and pressed you into him, wanting all of you as close to him as possible. He wanted to feel your warmth, your breathing and the beating of your heart. His leg was throbbing and he sunk down on the floor with you still in his arms.

“I thought I lost you, all of you. I couldn’t find any of you,” you whispered, breathing in the scent of him and fisting the fabric of his uniform in your hands. You looked up to see if Tamar was still there but she’d left, probably to tend to Nadia. Nikolai, equally relieved as you, pressed a hasty kiss to the side of your head and placed a hand in your hair, threading through it gently.

“Are you alright?” He asked gently and pulled away slightly to let his eyes roam your body in search of any injuries, but let out a relieved sigh when you nodded and the only wounds he found on you were not very drastic. He made a move to stand up and you pulled away from the hug but grabbed ahold of his hand instead. Nikolai almost fell against the wall when he put pressure on his wounded leg.

“Oh Saints, Nikolai!” You gasped and wrapped an arm around his waist and you let him throw an arm around your shoulders. He grimaced and dragged a sharp breath as you stared walking back outside to where Nikolai said the others would be.

“I’m okay,” he insisted and looked down at you.

“You don’t look very okay,” you said softly and stopped for a moment. You placed yourself in front of him instead and he rested his arms on your shoulders. His blond hair was messy and dirty, he had a bloody wound on the side of his head, a bleeding hole in his shoulder, the same place where he’d taken his first bullet, and his leg was bloodied and wrapped hastily in a white fabric. He definitely didn’t look okay.

“It could be worse,” he tried and his famous smirk made its way to his lips. You chuckled, still the same old humour. He didn’t seem to have hit his head at least. You softly shook your head at him and cupped his cheek in your hand, careful to avoid the wound.

“Just because it could be worse doesn’t mean that you’re okay.” Nikolai smiled at that, you were always so caring and comforting. Something he admired greatly with you. He settled for a simple nod and you placed yourself at his side again to help him walk. When the two of you came out into the sun in the courtyard Nikolai stopped again. You assumed he wanted to rest his leg but when you looked up at him he came crashing his lips down on yours. He held your face gently in his hands, yours came to rest on his chest. The kiss was soft and gentle and Nikolai savored every second like it was his last. You could feel the thumping of his heart through the uniform. The world had stopped and you let yourself enjoy the short moment. The two of you had survived the war, it was at least worth a kiss in celebration.

When you broke apart Nikolai had tears running down his face. His eyes were glossed over and he slightly trembled under your hands. You didn’t say anything, you just wrapped your arms around him and held him, holding him up and pressing soft kisses to his blond mop of curls. You let each other just bask in the moment. You held each other, grounding each other like anchors to the world.

#season 2 shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #grishaverse #the grisha series #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov x reader #prince nikolai #nikolai lantsov #six of crows #nikolai lantsov fanfic #nikolai lantsov imagines #king of scars #rule of wolves

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flightlessangelwings · 8 months

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Ktober Day 4- Sex Pollen

Nikolai Lantsov x gn!Corporalki!reader

Word count- 1.9k

Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), mutual pining, multiple orgasms, no use of y/n

Notes- Nikolai my beloved I can't believe I've never written anything for him before! What a way to start writing for him, huh lol?! Prompt list made by me! Enjoy!

@flightlessangelwings-updates is myupdate blog so please follow that too and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on my new fics!

“Captain?” you knocked at the door to his quarters, “Is everything alright?” you called through the door as you tested the handle. Finding it unlocked, you slowly opened it and peeked inside, “Tamar wanted me to check on you.”

“Everything’s alright, love,” Nikolai quickly put himself together as you entered his room. He felt his brow dampen as it lined with sweat, and he adjusted his pants uncharacteristically awkwardly as he laid his eyes on you. He always found you attractive, but suddenly, he couldn’t stop the thoughts that barraged his mind.

“Nikolai,” you breathed his true name as you closed the door behind you, “I can feel your heart… It’s…” pounding erratically, beating faster than you had ever felt before, about to explode, “What happened?” you asked as you rushed over to him and looked him over. He was bright red and you saw the way beads of sweat dripped down his face. He looked like he had lost his composure as he covered his mouth, something you had never seen before.

“It’s… nothing…” he breathed heavily as he tried to hide the way his pants tightened between his legs.

Nikolai and the twins had just returned to the ship from an excursion. Everything went fine, until the Captain got separated from the others and didn’t seem himself when he returned. He refused to say anything, but every Corporalki could sense that something was off, including you. It worried you, but Nikolai didn’t want to worry you.

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you,” you said sternly yet softly, “Now please, let me help you,” you reached out to try and touch his forehead to assess what was wrong.

But the moment the tips of your fingers made the briefest contact with his heated skin, Nikolai grabbed your wrist and looked at you with a fire behind his eyes that you had never seen before. He hissed your name as his hands trembled, “Leave,” his voice was strained as he fought against his own mind. If he gave in to whatever he had pulsing through his veins, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from ravaging you. And Nikolai could never forgive himself if he hurt you at all.

“Nikolai,” you whispered, “I’m not leaving you. Not when you’re like this.”

Nikolai let out a low groan that made your breath hitch in your throat. You felt his agony as his hand clenched tightly around your wrist. But there was something else that weighed heavily in your heart. You hated seeing him like this, helpless to do anything for him. And you would do anything for him. You had been hopefully in love with him from practically your first meeting, but you kept those feelings buried deep down.

“Listen to me,” Nikolai strained as he hovered closer to you, “I don’t have time to explain,” he forced a half a smile, “And I wouldn’t want anything to come between us if I can’t stop myself right now… Especially before I got the chance to wine and dine you first.”

At that moment, you felt your own face heat up, “What?”

He cursed under his breath as his body shook, “I don’t know what happened out there, I can’t remember, but whatever it is, everything in me is screaming to fuck you senseless right now or else I feel like I’ll explode.” His memory was hazy, but in his time apart from the others, something must have attacked him and poisoned him with… something. It wasn’t like any other poison, though, nothing Nikolai knew of had effects like… this.

Your mouth dropped open as you processed the weight of his words and what they meant. You felt your own heart flutter in your chest as Nikolai’s gaze bore into your soul. You felt the fire behind his eyes and it lit your body aflame. You had wanted this… wanted him… for so long. But you never in your wildest dreams could have imagined this.

“Let me help,” your voice was so hushed you barely even heard your words. But, from the way Nikolai’s expression changed, you knew he heard you. Swallowing your nerves, you closed the small gap between your bodies and cupped his face, “You can use me.”

“Darling,” his voice didn’t even sound like him as he immediately grabbed you and yanked you so that your chest was flush with his. Then, Nikolai looked surprised, as if his body moved on his own at your words, “I couldn't…”

You whimpered as you felt his hard cock against your body, “You need to,” your own voice trembled, “I…” you sighed as you rested your forehead against his, “I can’t lose you,” your confession was a soft whisper, but it held all the emotions that you kept hidden from everyone, especially him.

In a flash, Nikolai’s lips were on yours in a heated kiss. He swallowed the moan you let out as his hands roamed over your body, ripping at your clothes with abandon as he did so. You clung to him and you heard his heartbeat through your ears; it sounded like the way your ears rang when you were too close to cannon fire. You heard the blood rushing through his veins at incredible speed… or was it your own pulse in your ears?

The room spun in a tizzy as you suddenly found yourself naked on Nikolai’s desk, your legs spread open on their own, as if you felt the effects of whatever infected him as well. But, it didn’t matter. All you could think about was the way he bared his own body before you. Quickly, Nikolai stripped himself of his own clothes, and cock springing free as if it guided his body towards yours the moment it was exposed.

You bit your lip and whimpered as he cupped you between your legs.

“Darling,” Nikolai’s voice was low as he fought to hold himself back momentarily, “Do not let me hurt you.”

Seeing the conviction in his eyes made your heart skip a beat and your inner muscles clenched around nothing, “I trust you,” was your reply. It wasn’t a lie, and you wouldn’t have offered yourself to him if you didn’t.

He groaned as he pumped his cock a few times and lined himself up with your entrance. Pausing only for a fraction of a moment, Nikolai met your eyes before he thrust himself into you.

You threw your head back and screamed as his cock stretched you out. Without any preparation, you felt the sting at first, but it quickly turned to pleasure as he rocked himself in and out of you at a fast and harsh pace. You moaned as you clung to him, and Nikolai wrapped his arms around you in response.

The moment he entered you, Nikolai felt an instant relief, but he knew it would take more than that to fully rid himself of whatever plagued him. He never wanted it to be like this with you. He wanted you, of course, he had since you first joined his crew. But Nikolai wanted to court you properly, to earn your love, your trust, your body. He wasn’t even sure you felt the same way about him that he had about you. But, from the moment he got hit with whatever it was, you were the only person on his mind.

“Saints,” Nikolai murmured as he bit your shoulder to stifle his own moans, “You feel better than I ever imagined.”

You gasped as he hit that sweet spot inside you at the same time his words left his mouth. Tears filled your eyes and emotions took over. All you could do was cling to him as he pounded into you. Moans filled the room as you felt your climax quickly approach.

“Nikolai… I’m…”

He just groaned as he picked up his pace until you came hard. Nikolai wanted to pull back and watch you cum, but at the same time he couldn’t break away from you even by an inch. Instead, he held you tightly as you gushed between your bodies and trembled in his arms.

“Darling…” he growled as he felt his own climax follow yours. And with just a few more pumps of his cock, he came deep inside you as he groaned your name and clutched you tightly.

Relief washed over him like a cool rain on a hot summer day. Nikolai still felt the aftershocks of his orgasm, and his cock still remained hard inside you, but the urgency was gone. But, just as he was about to pull out of you, you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“You can keep going,” you whispered, feeling his hardness as well, “I’m ok.”

“But…”

“I trust you,” your voice was more firm as you pulled back enough to look in his eyes, “Do you trust me?”

“I do,” his reply came without hesitation.

The way you looked at him so sincerely made Nikolai’s cock twitch inside you, and before he knew it, he was thrusting in and out of you again. Your mouth dropped open in a loud moan, but he reeled forward and captured your lips with his one in another deep, heated kiss. As he locked lips with you, Nikolai felt his second climax quickly approach, and without pulling away once more, he came inside you.

You whimpered into his mouth as you felt Nikolai fill you up to the point where his cum dripped down your bodies, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was him.

Breaking away for air with a gasp, Nikolai finally got to look in your eyes as you were lost in pleasure. Lost in pleasure on his cock. Saints, you were beautiful like this. Once more, the need overtook him, and Nikolai pounded into you again until he came for the third time. But this time, he watched your every expression as you moaned and cried out his name.

Your eyes stayed shut as he continued to thrust into you, hitting your sweet spot over and over and over again until you couldn’t take it anymore. And just as Nikolai came for the third time, you did as well, crying out his name and clenching around his cock. This time was different though, for both of you. It felt less urgent, yet just as needy.

“Beautiful,” Nikolai murmured as he watched you fall apart in his arms.

With a gasp, your eyes shot open and your heart skipped a beat as you saw the expression of pure adoration on his face, “Nikolai,” you breathed as you cupped his face.

He gave you a weak smile as he mirrored your action, “I think I’m alright now,” he said softly as he slowly pulled out of you, “Thank you,” he hovered his lips over your, but stopped.

You had whined when he pulled out of you, but the disappointment quickly vanished when you felt his breath on your lips. Blinking your eyes open, you studied his face close up, closer than you ever had before. “Don’t tell me you’re shy now, Nikolai,” you quipped in a hushed, exhausted voice.

“I just…” he sighed, “I owe you.”

You smiled, “What about the wining and dining me then?” you asked with an amused huff.

That made Nikolai’s face light up, “I love it when you quote me,” his tone dropped as he finally kissed you, “And yes,” he murmured with a smirk.

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aysegust · 1 year

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My Light In the Dark. - N.L

A/N: Okay, so this was a request and let me give you a warning... I haven't read Nikolai based books and stuff. I only read SoC and Crooked Kingdom due to something else... I want to read all of the books but It would be probably slowly in time. So this is based on S&B season 2... I hope you'll like my version of him. Have a nice reading! Request: you are having a nightmare in middle of night, you walks as you knock the door, you hear unlock it was nikolai, he was half naked, he seem concern about you, he might be worried as he comfort you as well. *fluffiness* Warnings: A bit angst at start but fluff in the end :) sobachka... Word Count: 1,6K

You were running. As the moonlight caressed your cheek, you were running so fast like your whole life depended on it.

What you felt was so strong. You felt cold sweated fear so deeply as you ran to find him. You were too caught up in the idea that he was just laying on the ground with pale skin, and eyes that shine so brightly went just blank looking at the sky. You were scared about the idea of losing him.

So you ran, you ran to find him to help him. But you couldn’t find him in that damned forest of Ravka as you searched for him. Suddenly, you found yourself in the Little Palace. As you looked at your sides, you saw lights slowly numbed. You didn’t know that you held your breath. You’ve never felt that much fear before. As you searched through Little Palace, you instantly stopped by the dining hall.

You held the doorknob as you pushed it aside as you entered the door. You saw floors covered in bloody footsteps. As you walked quickly inside, you saw a man laying on the floor. You felt your dry throat as you looked at him.

You were in pure shock as you froze at your place. You tried to go to him but something was blocking your way. Darkness flooded into the room, and as you turned behind, you saw Kirigan. “You…” You whispered with such full of rage. “You did this to him!” You yelled as you stepped closer to the boy you adored secretly, laying on the floor, without moving, without consciously. “He is not dead, but will be.” You heard Kirigan’s low but sharp voice.

“As I told you earlier, you should’ve followed my order.” He sighed. “Instead, you betrayed me, to what?” He smirked. “To take sides with the Sun Summoner?”

You looked at him with disgust. “I’ll never follow you. You are the reason why all of us feel pain in this country!” You yelled at him. “You used Grisha’s! You used us.” You felt rage in your veins as you held your hands up to move them in a. sync way, you felt paralyzed.

“You can’t kill me.” He said, then you hear a soft whimper. You turned your gaze to the floor as you saw him. Nikolai. Whispering your name sweetly but with pain. “No!” You screamed.

You wake up in a cold sweat. You looked around and you saw nothing but your room surrounding you. Nothing about darkness, just a soft candle lighting the room. You got up from the bed and you looked at yourself in the mirror.

It was just a dream. You thought. However, when you looked in the mirror in front of you, you felt pathetic. You slowly walked to your restroom to wash your face, you felt the uneasy feeling didn’t go away. So, you exited your room to wander into the palace to find him.

Nikolai and your relationship weren’t exclusive. Well, you weren’t a thing. You were under his command so many years as you knew him as Sturmhond first. You were a Grisha with Corporalki powers. When you were young, they came and took you from your parents. They tested you and found out as you were a Heartrender. You didn’t want to be apart from your parents but they took you away.

Your parents didn’t want you to be tested. However, they were late to figure out your powers. They wanted to hide you from ruthless people, from demanding Grisha’s… But when you grew enough to find a way to escape the Little Palace you took it and then your journey to earning money and finding a place to stay was on his side. He accepted you, into his crew as you found yourself in his ship, improving your skills with Tamar and Tolya, and felt accepted by him.

He wasn’t demanding, or he wasn’t cruel and greedy to you. He was anything opposite what your parents told you about the Lantsov family. He was genuine, sweet, boyishly handsome, and brave but so flirtatious.

In the meantime, as you were in his crew, you liked him through the years as you get to know him. However, you learned he has a flirtatious side, of course. So you didn’t let loose him over your misunderstanding crush on him. So, you stayed silent.

The rest was history.

As you felt yourself deep in thought, you didn’t encounter the idea that you were standing in front of his bedroom door. It was the middle of the night, so if someone would see you it would be probably some servant or guard.

You lightly knocked on the door, with shaky hands. When you didn’t hear something from the inside, you slowly turned away as you sighed.

When you heard a click from the door, you instantly turned around and saw him. He was confused to see you, and when you looked at him, you saw his shirtless body. You immediately turned your gaze onto the floor embarrassed about not respecting his privacy in the middle of the night.

Nikolai sweetly, smirked at you when you lowered your gaze and your blushed cheeks in the dim light. He broke the silence as you looked at him again. “Are you okay?” He asked. Finally, seeing circles under your eyes and when he looked at your eyes, he saw it was glossy and red.

He felt scared as he saw you like that. He immediately held your wrist as you were frightened. “Hey, hey… Y/N look at me.” He whispered and he was slowly pulling you inside his room to not be seen on the outside. You didn’t speak as he talked. “What happened? Are you hurt?” He checked you for a visible wound but he couldn’t find any. “No, I’m okay.” Your voice came out weaker than you expected.

You felt his warm and soft hand stroke your cheek, as you slowly closed your eyes. You felt his worried gaze towards you. “I,” you sighed. “I was having a nightmare.” You finally admitted as you opened your eyes and met with his caring eyes. You felt so safe around him.

“It’s okay, you are safe now.” He said as he leaned forward to you. “Nothing can harm you, I’m here.” You suddenly hugged him as he whispered those words to you. He smiled to himself. “Of course, you don’t need someone to protect you, you are the strongest person that I’ve ever seen, darling.” He said with a genuine concern for you.

You stayed still in his arms, feeling better and loved because of him. His presence always calmed your chaos. And he was the light of your life. He was shinier than the Sun Summoner.

But it wasn’t only you, he thought about it like that too. Nikolai always adored you. In his eyes, you were shining so bright than Alina. You were his light, his sun as you always made him feel appreciated, alright, and safe. He deeply knew he felt something more about you.

You were always in his mind. Sometimes you were whispering sweet things to him or you were bickering about a silly plan he made and well, he enjoyed thinking about you. More than that, he was glad that he found you. With you, he could be himself, more than just a boyishly handsome ‘sobachka’ prince of Ravka. or brave Sturmhond. He could be himself around you… He was in love with you.

He slowly caressed your hair to calm you. “Do you feel better, milaya?” You nodded your head onto his neck. You leaned away from him as you met his gaze. “I saw you.” You paused. “In my nightmare.” You looked deeply into his confused glances. “You were… You were bleeding and,” You closed your eyes as you relived the nightmare.

He held your hands immediately. “Y/N, it’s not real, I’m here.” You didn’t open your eyes. However, you heard his heartbeats. It was calming your nerves. You continued without opening your eyes. “You were laying on the floor and I tried to help you, but… I saw Darkling.” As you opened your eyes to meet his gaze you saw his confused gaze turn into anger. “Did he- come to you? Like how?” He was pissed off about hearing Kirigan destroying your night.

“No, he can’t… I don’t know.” You looked at him again. “We don’t have any connection.” He felt relieved. “I’m here and I’m not interested in going away anywhere from you.” He smiled at you. You looked at him in disbelief.

He smirked at your shocked glances. “You know, I am not this intense with anyone, right?” He asked you as you gave him a confused glance. He put the hair that was touching your face with his hand behind your ear. “I adore you, Y/N.” He said with a precious smile. “And I want my days to be filled with you.” He paused. “You are the reason that I’m still fighting. You are my hope to be a better king. My heart to be a better person and I…” You squeezed his hand. “I love you.” He said as he leaned toward you.

“Nikolai…” You smiled into his mouth. “I have always loved you, and I always will.” He kissed you then. With a kiss that held so much passion and love. You heard his quickened heartbeat as he kissed you so deeply, so sweetly and so gorgeously.

Oh, you love Nikolai Lantsov. You love every little detail about him. His fragile but strong nature… His amazing heart and his gorgeous soul… You adore his jokes and his braveness.

Nikolai meant everything to you. He meant home, he meant you.

#shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov x y/n #sobachka #nikolai lantsov and reader #six of crows #shadow and bone series #alina starkov #darkling #general kirigan #nikolai lantsov x heartrender! reader #nikolai lantsov x grisha! reader

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bladeinthedark · 1 year

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i want all Nikolai haters to shut up because Paddy Gibson just did such an amazing job and he really portrayed Nikolai in the perfect way. charming, dedicated, a leader and a friend.

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frost-queen · 1 year

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The privateer’s sun (Reader x Nikolai Lantsov)

Requested by: anon, Forever tag: @missmelodramatic, @theletterhart, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly, @denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco @idkwhatmyusernameis, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07

Summary: Reader is a sun summoner as well under the command of Nikolai who you don’t get along with. When another sun summoner Alina Starkov boards Nikolai’s ship, you are overwhelmed with sudden jealousy. Back on land the little palace hold a ball to where you secretly hope Nikolai would dance with you, yet he chooses Alina over you. Over run with jealousy you take your leave only for Nikolai to chase after you, dragging you away to confront you.

The boat rocked gently into the sea. The movement of water swaying around it. You were used to your sea legs now for being so long on the ship. You went through the door to the captains cockpit. Tolya and Tamar already there. Nikolai standing behind his desk, hovering over a map of the waters. Tamar cleared her throat loud to hint Nikolai of your presence. Nikolai looked up, noticing you. – “Ah Y/n, come!” – he said gesturing you over. You exhaled deep moving over to him. Once you were near the desk, he spoke. – “Can you light up a bit.” – he wiggled with his fingers, barely giving you any attention. – “It’s getting dark, and I can hardly read my maps.” – he chuckled, throwing you a witty smirk.

You clicked your tongue, looking annoyed away. – “Poor eyesight.” – you commented on a mumbling tone. Tolya snorting loud as he overheard. – “What was that?” – Nikolai asked with a frown. You flattened your expression into a forced sarcastic smile. – “As you please.” – you spoke, mentally strangling him. You moved your fingers till a light appeared in the palm of your hand. Seeing Nikolai smile at his maps. You smirked letting the light shine brighter. So bright it filled the room with a blinding white light absorbing the room till nothing could be seen.

Nikolai grunted, covering his eyes up with his arm, looking away from your glow. Tamar and Tolya also looking away. You absorbed your light once more, dimming it till nothing. – “I’m sorry was that too much.” – you outed teasingly. Nikolai fluttering his eyelashes to adjust his view. Nikolai jumped out of his skin when you set your hands loudly on his desk. – “I’m a sun summoner, not a candlelight to your pleasing.” – you spoke loudly making him swallow nervously.

Nikolai hummed mockingly. – “Here I thought you were a provider of light.” – he pouted his lips to taunt you even more. You rolled with your eyes, looking away. – “Watch your mouth… pirate.” – you countered, Nikolai gasping dramatically at your insult. – “Privateer! I’m a privateer Y/n!” – he corrected loudly as you could only smile, having gotten under his skin. Tamar rolling her eyes with a brief sigh. Tolya enjoying the tension rising between the two of you. You let your eyes go down on the maps he was overlooking.

“Fortune seeking?” – you questioned. He quirked up a smile. – “Why are you interested in joining?” – he teased. You snorted loud. – “It’s clear you need me thanks, but no. I’ll let the pirate hunt up to you.” – You laughed wrinkling your nose. Nikolai puffed his chest, crossing his arms. – “Well maybe I don’t need you.” – he answered. – “Good.” – you spoke turning around, making your way over to the door. Nikolai breathing loudly through his nose, hating that he did need you. – “It involves a lot of gold.” – he called out making you stop. – “Some dangers on the side and all the fun of an adventure. That seems like a deal worth taking… but I’ll leave that up to you.” – he lowered his gaze almost pitiful.

You sighed loud, turning back. – “Well it’s intriguing, but to go with you it will put my life on the risk…” – you approached his desk once more. – “What percentage of the gold will I be taking?” – you asked smiling sweetly at him. Nikolai suppressed a loud groan of pleasure he could out right now from seeing that sweet smile of yours. – “Fair enough, you want some. I’ll give you seven.” – he responded making you laugh loud. – “Do you think I’m that foolish. Eighteen would just be fine.” – you said pressing your palms against his desk.

Nikolai laughed tauntingly. – “Why not just ask for all the treasures in my chest?” – he responded mockingly. – “Fifteen?” – you suggested leaning closer to him. – “Eight!” – Nikolai held on, leaning in closer too. – “Twelve?” – you pushed on. – “Maybe nine?” – He replied hesitantly. – “Ten!” – you commented practically all up in his face. Nikolai swallowed nervously caught by your up closeness for a second. Tamar and Tolya looking intriguing at each other. Suddenly aware of how close you were to him; you drew quickly back.

Face flustered making you take a run for it. Nikolai sitting down breathlessly. Outside you touched your cheek for it’s temperature. The cold sea’s wind quickly cooling you down. You moved aside from the door, hearing movement. Tamar and Tolya stepping out. Tolya whistling loud while waving himself some cool. – “Now that was hot intense.” – he said, Tamar chuckling. – “It keeps the spirit lively with such bickering.” – Tamar commented walking up the deck.

You overheard snippets of their conversation. Feeling the heat creep up again at the thought of Nikolai’s face close to yours. You turned away to the sea when Nikolai came walking out. His eyes falling briefly upon you before heading up to the higher platform. The wind catching his coat and hair. Peeking to the side, you caught him in all his glory. The sun setting behind him. Nearly gone to make room for the moon.

You gasped needing to see it for yourself. The new girl that had boarded the ship claiming to be Alina Starkov. She stood in Nikolai’s private room. – “I know who you are Miss Starkov.” – he said sitting at his desk. He hadn’t even looked up to acknowledge you having slipped into his room, coming to stand beside Tamar and Tolya. – “Sun summoner.” – he whispered teasingly with a smirk. Tamar looked over at you, watching your expression. Seeing how bitter your face began to stand. Alina puffed loudly. – “What are you a pirate?” – she replied with sarcasm.

Nikolai chuckled catching you off guard. – “Privateer, there is a difference.” – he explained. The guy who was with Alina frowned. – “Isn’t it all the same?” – he whispered to Alina. Alina straightened her posture. – “Yes, I am the sun summoner.” – she expressed holding her hand to keep her friend back who clearly was against her confession. Nikolai smiled wider. She demonstrated lighting up the room. The light faded as Alina took a deep breath. - “You don’t have to worry I’m not going to sell you to Nyovy Zem.” – Nikolai said. – “You aren’t?” – Alina furrowed her brows.

Nikolai got up from his seat, going around his desk to Alina. – “You’re a symbol.” – he addressed her with a flashing smile. The bitterness in your heart turning cold. Tamar seemed to notice it. Alina wasn’t the first sun summoner he encountered so why was he acting so warmly and teasingly towards her. There was nothing special about Alina Starkov. The only thing distinguishing her from you was that she was with the darkling. Trying to tear down the fold while he wanted to expand it.

You got so angry it made you clench your hand. Taking your leave with a loud exit. Nikolai looking behind Alina, seeing the door shut. He looked over to Tamar and Tolya wondering who just left. Tamar sighed dropping her shoulders down at him. Tolya moving his eyebrows up as if he should know. Nikolai furrowed his brows thinking till some realization slowly hit him. Having a slight clue of who it might be, yet he did nothing against it. You ran up to the railing, gripping tight onto it. Hands trembling as you so desperately wanted to scream your lungs out in agony.

Rather wanting the sea to swallow you hole then have to listen to one more sweet word Nikolai said to her. Slowly losing it to jealousy you grunted waving your arms aggressively around. Needing to out it in a different way. Some of the crew members looking wary at you. You shot them a glare, threatening to blind them by moving your hand up till your chest to them. They swallowed nervously, quickly looking away. For the remaining day and later on time you kept your distance from Nikolai or Alina. No needing to put more oil on an already burning flame.

The sea made way for land. Roaming the halls of the little palace while preparation to tonight’s ball were fine tuned. The last set of flowers set in the ballroom. Passing quickly by you made your way over to your room. Nearly bumping against Nikolai in the hallway who was adjusting his cuffs. – “Oh.” – he outed looking up. – “Y/n.” – he said softly, eying you up and down. – “Should you not prepare yourself for the dance?” – he questioned.

Tensing your jaw you felt your hand tremble, making you move it behind your back. – “I should as do you.” – you answered, Nikolai frowning. – “Clearly there is a lot of work to do on you.” – you teased, Nikolai bursting out in laughter. You caught yourself smiling instantly from hearing his laugh. Quickly dropping it as he caught a slight sight of it, half smiling. You bowed at him, taking your leave then. Nikolai looked over his shoulder to you, wetting his lips briefly. You went into your room, taking a deep breath.

Feeling your cheek, it felt warm again. How was it that Nikolai was having such an effect on you. After sulking for half an hour, you truly needed to prepare yourself. Styling yourself with much effort. You joined the others following them to the ballroom. You entered as little people applauded for you. Coming to stand by the side, you noticed more applauded when Alina Starkov entered the ballroom with Mal by her side.

Already dunking a hole in your mood. Nikolai entered, surprisingly lifting your spirit up. He briefly made eye contact with you when greeting a few Grisha. You smiled shyly in return. – “Who will you open the first dance with, my King?” – a lord asked loudly of him. Nikolai chuckled flustered seeing all the attention on him. His eyes fell upon you, making you straighten your back unconsciously. He looked rather serious getting in motion. Your heart beating loud in your chest as his gaze remained on you, walking over.

Breathing shallower you couldn’t believe he was making his way over to you. You smiled hopefully, nearly addressing him. – “Niko…” – you whispered, smile faltering as he moved past you, making you step aside. Heart shattering when he offered Alina Starkov his hand. Stumbling out of breath back, you felt like passing out. Nikolai walked back passed you, holding Alina’s hand. His eyes fixated on her.

If your heart could cry, it would overflow the riverbanks and send waves of sorrow onto shore destroying all with the pain nestling inside of you. That pain forming into jealousy. How little eye Nikolai had for you ever since the arrival of Alina Starkov. Whatever made her more special then you? Both sun summoners, yet one forgotten while the other thrives.

Nikolai let go of her hand, taking a bow as she curtsied. They both waited for the music. A circle of people around them watching the king and the sun summoner dance. Music filled the room as it ached in you heart. Making you grasp for it breathlessly as if a hole was carving in it. Nikolai and Alina waltzed gracefully, only eyes for each other. A piece of your heart torn as it hurt so much. The way he looked at her made every sense in your body overheat with jealousy.

It got so badly to the boiling point, you needed to escape before you would light up the entire room out of revenge. Nikolai and Alina had their palms pressed together, slowly turning as you slipped out of the room. Nikolai noticing you leave so suddenly. Tears stained your cheek making you wipe them quickly away. Overcome with such emotions you couldn’t hold it in anymore. Making your way away from the ballroom. – “Y/n!” – you suddenly heard.

Nikolai had come into the hallway, calling out your name once he saw you. You ignored him crying even harder. – “Y/n!” – Nikolai repeated loudly coming to chase after you. Slowing down behind you. – “Y/n wait.” – he said grabbing for your arm. You swayed it forwards so his loose grip was off you. – “Y/n will you please stop.” – he asked wanting to reach for your arm once more, but you moved it out of reach. Nikolai tensed his jaw when you refused to listen to him.

“Y/n stop!” – he outed loud, grabbing you firmly by the arms. – “No!” – you answered, fighting with every might to be free of him. Nikolai tightened his grip on you, pushing you towards the side. Grabbing for the doorknob, pushing you inside the room afterwards. He closed the door out of breath. – “Why’d you leave so suddenly?” – he asked as you stood with your back at him. Wiping your tears away as you didn’t want him to know you were crying. – “You’d get your turn after the first dance.” – he explained not understanding you.

You laughed foolishly at yourself. Have you truly taken upon the crown of fools. – “Don’t you understand!” – you spitted out, turning sharply at him. – “It’s not about… I never…” – you said uttering in such a messy state. Your mind all over the place as it pounded loud. – “You were looking at me!” – you outed trying to recall if you were correct. – “I thought… I thought…” – you said out of breath looking at him. – “You and Alina Starkov.” – you continued barely following your own train of thoughts. Nikolai simply smirked looking upon you.

“The first dance! With her!” – you called out in desperation feeling like you were losing your mind. Nikolai stepped up to you, moving his palm up your cheek as he kissed you teasingly. Eyes widening in shock as his lips retracted from yours. – “You were jealous I chose Alina for the first dance?” – he said still that silly smirk on his lips. It made you flutter your eyelashes rapidly to blink yourself awake. – “I feel flattered Y/n.”

He pressed his lips against yours again, catching you off guard. – “I would only dance with Alina once, the rest of the evening I would’ve dedicated to you.” – he spoke staring longingly at you. – “You would’ve?” – you asked shyly, Nikolai nodding as he brought his lips closer once more. – “To me there is only one sun summoner… and that is you Y/n.” – bringing your face closer to his, his lips crashed against yours. This time you surrendered by kissing him back. Arms going around his neck, drawing him closer.

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corpsebasil · 1 year

Text

Shapeshifter Part 2

Part 1

Y/N, as it turned out, had more energy than almost all of Nikolai’s crew. Mal batted her away when she transformed into a cat, leaping onto his back as he walked across the ship towards the rail of it. Nikolai watched in amusement, allowing her to perch on his shoulder when another quick flash turned her into a small, white and grey hawk. She pecked him lightly on the side of his head before settling in, already having had decided that the prince was her favorite person on this ship.

“We should discuss the plan,” Mal said, eyeing the hawk in annoyance. She’d been terrorizing him all day, first as a rat sitting on his chest when he woke up, causing him to fall out of his hammock in shock, then as a snake that wound around his neck while he was trying to eat breakfast.

Everyone else seemed to find it infinitely funny, Y/N most of all, but Nikolai had been hoping to see her real face at some point that day. He couldn’t stop thinking about her last night—could hardly sleep as his mind drifted back to that white wolf form of hers and her strange power.

“When we sail in, we’ll take a group and attack together. Alina should be the one to kill it, but if it’s too vicious, it might not matter who ends the creatures life.” Nikolai said, pointing out at the eerie looking island in the distance. Was it his imagination, or did the hawk on his shoulder seem to burrow closer into his neck? “I hope you like fancy weapons, tracker friend.”

“What about her?” Mal asked, gesturing to Y/N. She snapped her beak at his outstretched fingers with a sassy click. “There’s got to be a way for her to help.”

“I’m not going to risk her life unless she offers it.” Nikolai argued, giving the shifter a glance. Mal mumbled something incoherent and strode away, headed to Tolya and Tamar to discuss the plan. Nikolai’s voice softened when he spoke, his eyes pinned on the distant island. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. This is going to be dangerous, and I’d rather not have the last shifter in the world die on my watch.”

The hawk seemed to ponder his words and then flew off, ducking inside the door of his office. When she emerged, sipping a glass of water with his shirt back on, she walked over to him barefoot, already staring out at the horizon as well.

“I might not be the last one.” She offered, tilting her pretty head at him. “But I’m definitely not letting you go alone.”

“You’d be safer here.”

“I can protect you, princeling.”

He rolled his eyes but smirked, glancing away from her. When he spoke again his tone was serious, tension crossing his shoulders.

“Hell of a way to die, though.” He said, casting her a sidelong glance. “A sea whip. Saints save us.”

“What does it look like?” She asked, and he tugged a sketching of the monster out of his jacket. When she saw it, her face paled. It looked like…and those teeth.. “No.” She scoffed. “You’re not going to fight that thing.”

“And why not?”

“Risking my chances of marrying a pirate prince? Very selfish of you.”

Nikolai grinned when she knocked her shoulder against his, her smile purely feline. But his expression sobered, and he gave her a questioning look.

“You’re coming with us, then?”

“No.” She said simply, her expression suddenly grave, and cast a look over to Alina and Mal. They had been her only companions for the past few days, and though she enjoyed annoying the hell out of them, they were also the only friends that understood what having power was like, what being feared was like, that she’d had in a while. “I’m not going with you. Because you aren’t going.”

The prince had all of five seconds to register her words before the girl hoisted herself over the rail and dropped into the ocean, disappearing completely under the waves. Nikolai shouted as Mal and his crewmates sprinted over, gasping in shock at the shifter that had just leaped over the side of the boat.

“Where the hell is she going?” Mal demanded, glaring at Nikolai like it was his fault. “I thought she was scouting not—”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence.

Not when a beast, so similar to the sea-whip and just as terrifying, flew out of the water and arced over the ship. Nikolai gaped up at it, it’s gigantic, menacing size, before it crashed down into the sea on the opposite side, spraying them with saltwater.

“Saints,” Alina gasped, watching as the beast’s body rippled just under the surface, swimming at a rapid clip towards the sea-whip’s caves. “She’s going to get herself killed. She’s been shifting all morning.”

“Can this ship move any faster?” Mal demanded, face paling, and Nikolai nodded mutely before rushing towards the wheel.

***

It took them five minutes to reach the entrance to the caves. Five minutes. And waiting there, on the beach, was…was…

“Y/N!” Mal shouted, tossing himself off the side of the ship and swimming towards her. Nikolai cursed to high heavens before he followed, Toyla complaining behind him that no one exited the ship in the civilized way, before going after his captain.

A monster lay on the beach. Huge, daunting, teeth gleaming in the sunlight. It was dead, huge bite marks gouged into its neck, and Nikolai shuddered as they approached.

“Where’s Y/N?” He searched around, the shifter no where in sight, when Alina suddenly shrieked. Nikolai jolted forward, running to the Sun Summoner’s side, then froze, ice filling his veins at the sight before him.

Y/N lay unconscious on the ground, every inch of her body exposed, with a deadly looking wound on her left leg. From thigh to knee the flesh was ripped, teeth marks marring her flawless skin. Blood pumped horrifically fast from the wound and all Nikolai could do was stare, gaping, down at the shifter who had risked her life for his entire crew.

She had killed it, had done the task for them, but it may very well have dragged her right after it into the underworld.

“Fucking move.” Mal cursed, knocking the prince out of the way. He tugged his shirt off and wrapped it as tight as he could around the injury, only for blood to soak the fabric in a mere second. Then he bundled her up in his coat and lifted her, holding the girl tight against his chest as he moved back towards the ship.

And Nikolai only gaped after them, his head reeling, the tang of blood in the air hot and heavy in his nose.

***

Y/N woke up from the worst nightmare of her life, only to enter a worse one when she opened her eyes.

She’d never been in so much agony. Had never shifted into something so big before; she had never been so reckless. And for strangers.

Truthfully, she was tired of a meaningless existence. Of stealing scraps of food from strangers, of being on the run, of spying or sneaking around or working for criminals that took advantage of her gifts. She wanted to mean something, so she wanted to protect her new friends.

And she wondered briefly if she might have actually died and this was what hell was like.

“Y/N.” A male voice said, groggy with sleep, and she tried to sit up. But a gasp of pain make her vision blur; fire seemed to burn down every inch of her skin, and her leg—she was terrified to look. “Hold on, just—just hold on.”

It was Nikolai, and a moment later, after some shuffling, she felt a prick of pain in her leg that made her cry out. She smacked at him, damn the agony the movement caused, but after a couple of heartbeats a sense of calm washed over her and the pain eased.

She groaned and laid back again, closing her eyes to welcome the bliss of a break from the torture. Nikolai moved close and scanned her face, setting down the injection he’d given her on his side-table. Sunlight leaked in through the windows of his bedroom. How long had it been?

“Do you need help sitting up?” He offered, and she nodded, allowing him to put an arm around her and prop her up on the pillows. She was shivering, damp with sweat, and she knew she had a fever. “You’ve been out for three days.” He said, his voice quiet and tight, and she gave him an incredulous look.

“How did—” she took in his face, his handsome features warped with pain and fear. “You saved me.”

“You saved us.” His laugh was unamused, and he reached out, resting the back of his hand against her forehead before he filled her water glass. “Why the hell would you do that? You don’t owe us anything.”

She remembered the sea-whip, the way it had roared in challenge. But she had overestimated it’s size, and overpowered the smaller monster easily when she’d tried to replicate the drawing he’d shown her. She snapped it’s neck, but not before it sank it’s rotten teeth into her thigh and almost tore her leg off.

She remembered the agony, the way that she barely made it two steps before she shifted back into her human form, and blacked out.

“I told you,” she laughed softly, taking a sip of water. “I like pirate princes.”

The expression on his face and the heat in his eyes told her he wanted to kiss the hell out of her, but his eyes moved down and he flinched at the sight of her leg. She looked down too, and nearly fainted. Her leg was covered in stitches, large gauge marks that had stayed when she’d shifted back sewn together, her flesh marred and ugly. The bleeding had stopped, but the bruising…the sight of the black thread in her skin…

She barely stifled a sob with her hand before she looked away, trying to focus on anything—anything but the ugly wound that she knew would scar. For the rest of her life, that marred flesh would transfer to any form she shifted to, marking her skin with the proof of her fight with the sea-whip. She was lucky they hadn’t amputated the limb, but she was vain, and was mortified that the prince beside her had seen her in such a destroyed state.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He told her, reaching out to grip her hand. “I owe you my life. I owe you a debt I can never repay.”

She wiped her eyes with her free hand and looked at him, at the prince who she’d sacrificed her life for. He truly was gloriously handsome. And he was kind, she noticed, and he’d done his best to take care of her.

“Just keep the pain-killers and broth coming, prince, and we’re even.”

The relieved smile that crossed his face that she was even able to be playful right now warmed her chest. He stood, moving to grant her request and scrounge up some broth for her, when she called out to him, stopping him at the door.

“And Nikolai?” She asked, voice sweet. He glanced over, raising a brow. “What Im healed, you owe me a date.”

His grin was stunning, and she laughed when he shook his head at her, amused.

“I’ll do more than go on a date with you, sweetheart.” He teased, giving her a searing up down. “I can teach you everything I learned to do to women in the five years since you last saw me.” When her face reddened, he added, “that’s a promise.”

Then he left, and she tucked the blankets under her chin, knowing there was no way in hell she was letting that pirate prince go.

#shadow and bone #six of crows #wattpad #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone imagine #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai x reader #shapeshifter #Grisha

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jahayla-parker · 1 year

Note

i have a request for nikolaiiiii!!!

"i don't believe in never" "i don't believe in always" "well opposites attract" "never" "always"

Opposites Attract : Nikolai Lantsov x Reader

Note: moodboard was created prior to SAB season 2 hence why it is not Paddy

Description: 8.7k wc, Nikolai and Y/n are very different but when life brings them together, Nikolai begins believing the cliche of 'opposites attract' but will it be enough to come true? enemies-to-lovers type trope, friends-to-lovers trope, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers type trope, bantering/teasing/etc.

Warnings: some angst (turned comfort), few curse words, mentions of war/death/related, Grishaverse typical warnings.

The now-setting sun glared through the circular windows of the castle’s old but polished walls.

Y/n wished to shade her eyes from the harsh light but knew it would look unprofessional to do so.

She elected to shift her eyes to a different part of the ornate painting on the hallway walls across the room where the light wasn’t shining as brightly.

“Greetings milaya” Nikolai grinned, kissing the back of y/n’s hand as he approached her.

She had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes at his flirtatious behavior.

Y/n instead, forced a small curl of her lips and a firm nod, “greetings, tsar”.

Nikolai pursed his lips faintly, a determined glint in his eye despite her response.

“Care to follow me to the balcony where it’s quieter?” He questioned.

She took a sip of her drink, her eyes glancing around the room before she shook her head once.

“Y/n, -“ Nikolai softly protested.

She cut him off with side-eye glance, “I’m afraid you’ll need to find someone else to entertain you moi tsar”.

Nikolai huffed and hesitated for a moment but eventually departed from her.

——

“Care for a drink?” Nikolai questioned, bowing slightly before her as he held out a drink.

Y/n rolled her eyes at him, which only made him smirk.

She shook her head but kept her voice as cordial as possible, “no, moi tsar”.

Nikolai stood up straighter and groaned, “you must know by now that you are not mandated to call me that”.

Y/n pursed her lips in response and nodded, her eyes scanning the room behind him, “of course I’m aware”.

She tried to politely ignore him by monitoring the guests in attendance tonight.

Y/n had been hired to help the King in his quest to rescue trapped Ravkan children from what was essentially a Shu-owned assimilation boarding school.

They kids had been ‘saved by the Shu’ during the most recent battle against the Darkling.

However, intel showed they were being forced to conform to the Shu lifestyle and many Grisha were suspected to be hiding their identities inside these ‘schools’.

It wasn’t an easy feat to hide such information, especially from the Shu.

As such, countless Ravkan children who were Grisha had been identified and taken to a different sector of the school.

It wasn’t clear at this time what was done in that sector, but there were rumors of some experimentations being done.

This week was the first step in a discrete attempt to rescue the Ravkan kids from the boarding school.

Tonight and the night before were staged to appear as the King’s celebrations over the recent victory against the Darkling.

They were an attempt to hide the true nature of the nights, which was to allow advisors to meet with potential informants and other important figures without suspicion.

Y/N’s role during these events was to ensure King Nikolai’s (and his advisors’) safety while they attended to their business.

Which is why it was so frustrating that the King kept choosing to flirt with her instead of letting her do her job.

“Then why do you? Are you that starstruck?” Nikolai teased, leaning slightly against the wall.

She let her eyes flicker to his face just long enough to show him her annoyance before refocusing on their surroundings.

“Seriously though, why are you so stubborn when it comes to my name?” He asked, his tone now sincere.

Y/n continued watching the guests as she responded confidently, “you call it stubborn, I call it protocol”.

“Protocol? This is a party, beautiful, you can let go of those roles” Nikolai offered, exuding his usual charm.

She knew better than to fall for it, regardless of if she wanted to or not.

He was known as not only a flirt but as a dangerously charming person.

Not only that, but she couldn’t stand the fact that he so carelessly did as he pleased.

That wasn’t a luxury many had; she certainly did not.

Yet, he was pushing her buttons trying to get her to do just that.

Unfortunately for him, she saw through it and held her own.

She no longer cared if she came across as rude, considering he didn’t care how he came across.

So she rolled her eyes and ignored him, focusing on a short stout man with a white beard as he held a seemingly tense conversation on the other side of the room.

“Am I truly that horrible of company?” He teased, smirking at her.

When she didn’t respond, choosing to watch the body language of the stout man instead, he continued.

“I do apologize precious, I must admit that’s new for me. Yet, I’m sure I’m capable of figuring out how to remedy that” Nikolai bantered confidently.

There it was again, that stupid confidence cockiness.

“Do you always flirt this much with your guards and advisors? I know I’m beautiful, but do you actually ever get work done?” She argued, throwing confidence back at him.

Nikolai tilted his head slightly to the left “I don’t flirt with everyone”.

Y/n dramatically raised her right eyebrow to show her doubt.

“Well, not in this manner” he smirked.

She silenced a groan and returned to scanning the room.

“As you said, we’re on the same team here, so why are you being so somber?” Nikolai questioned, crossing his arms over his chest.

Y/n glowered over at him, “I’m not somber, I’m doing my job”.

The man before her seemed to switch to a new tactic as he insulted, “aren’t you just the life of the party.“

She ignored the weird sensation in her chest and glared at him.

As she rolled her eyes she reminded him, “I’m not here to be the life of the party, moi tsar”.

It took a lot of strength to not smack him for having the nerve to insult her for doing what was required of her.

If she were to do as he suggested, she’d undoubtedly not perform her duties as well.

How he didn’t see or comprehend that was beyond her.

Yet, he showed again that he didn’t seem to understand that logic as he dared to critique her approach again.

Nikolai even winked this time as he commented, “no one would care if you relaxed some, after all your tsar said it was acceptable”.

“I will not have people seeing me do anything other than my job” y/n argued firmly, pulling on the hem of her uniform to straighten it.

“No one cares y/n, people only care about your title, you’re a leading General, that’s enough for them to consistently see you as such; no matter if you relax some at a party once in awhile” he laughed, carefree.

“News flash but not everyone sees me the same way they see you" y/n snapped at him.

The confusion on Nikolai’s face was evident, prompting her to elaborate.

“You were raised in a castle, as a prince. Then you became King as a birthright. You didn’t have to fight to earn the respect of the people. I did; I still do” she respectfully informed him.

Nikolai ignored the fact that he could argue about how it wasn’t truly his birthright.

And how as such, he did have to earn his people’s respect; or felt he had to at least.

Instead he could see the strong emotions behind her words and understood her drive, fear, and determination.

“After this, you won’t have to worry about that again. The people will always respect you” he assured her.

“That will never happen. Doesn’t matter if we save the school or not” she argued, her eyes solemn as she turned to him.

“I don't believe in never" Nikolai smirked, hoping to ease her fears.

“I don't believe in always" y/n rebutted.

“Well, opposites attract" Nikolai winked.

Just like that he was back to his mockingly flirtatious behavior she couldn’t trust or stand.

“Never" she groaned, refusing to look into his unfairly charming eyes.

“Always" Nikolai quipped, kissing the back of her hand before walking away.

——

“Morning milaya” Nikolai greeted, approaching her in the dinning hall.

“Don't talk to me, someone might think we are friends." She remarked, reading the papers before her.

“Aren’t we?” He teased, standing beside her.

She glanced at him judgingly from the side of her eye.

“Come on, you know you want to be my friend” Nikolai whispered.

Y/n flipped pages on the documents on the table as she argued, “no, I hate you”.

“Why? I’m lovely” he grinned, leaning on the table.

She rolled her eyes so hard she thought she might give herself a headache, “I think you mean overly confident.”

“Perhaps, but, you know what they say,” he whispered, his arm brushing against hers.

“Love and hate are two sides of a very, very thin line” Nikolai remarked, smiling to himself as he watched her.

She’s sucked in a deep breath of air and stared straight ahead as she awaited Tamar’s return so they could begin the next stage of planning.

“Fine, be stubborn. You’ll fall in love me soon, but don’t worry, I’ll be there to catch you when you do” he declared, nudging her softly.

“Unfortunately for you, I fall in love with souls not faces” y/n bantered with a smirk.

“So you’re saying I have a face worth falling for?” Nikolai retorted smugly.

She stiffened quickly, “I said nothing of the sort”.

“Yes, you did. You so did. You find me attractive” he began, his tone soft.

“Or perhaps gorgeous. Or dashing. Or-“ Nikolai elaborated in a sing-songy voice.

“Oh my Saints! Shut up already Nikolai” y/n huffed.

Nikolai grinned at how he had already seemingly made headway with her, “you called me Nikolai!”

She groaned, “I truly despise you”.

——

“I know that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision, I have elected to ignore it" y/n argued, walking away from him.

Nikolai rolled his eyes, “just because you are trying to deny the spark between us doesn’t mean everything I decide is wrong”.

Y/n ignored the first part of his sentence as she stated “you might be King, but given you grew up in a palace and I didn’t, it’s clear I’d know trade far better”.

He elected to suppress the ability to argue her claim by informing her of Sturmhond / how he was also a privateer.

“Besides, you have no connections in Ketterdam, they don’t give a damn you’re a King or I’m a General” she added.

“So, I repeat, bad idea” y/n declared.

Nikolai sighed, “Well, I’m going, so…”

“Saints I hate you” she growled as she tugged an extra bag to her.

Upon seeing her packing to leave with him, Nikolai smirked at the thought of her willing to join him for his safety.

“What?” Y/n asked, catching his gaze.

Nikolai shrugged, “I was wondering which will get you killed faster-your loyalty or your stubbornness”.

“Since my loyalty is unfortunately tied to you, moi tsar, both are strong possibilities” she joked with a smirk.

“I promise to keep you safe milaya” Nikolai admitted.

She rolled her eyes and scoffed, “I don’t need your help staying safe. Let’s just get this excursion over with so we can return and present Shu Han with the relic and be done with this”.

He sighed but decided to let her finish packing in silence.

—--

“Go away” y/n warned harshly, staring off the side of the Volkvolny.

Nikolai sighed loudly, daring to near her as he begged, “don’t be like that.”

“Like what?!” She yelled, turning sharply to face him, “honest and transparent about things?”

He huffed, “I believe the apparat can arrange some anger management for you when return”.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, “ I don't need anger management. I need you to stop pissing me off."

Nikolai sighed, leaning on the railing beside her, “You’re truly disgruntled over this”.

It was evident it wasn’t a question.

What wasn’t evident to y/n however, was Nikolai’s guilt and sadness over such.

“Would you not be? You kept this from me” y/n argued.

“Not like we’re friends” Nikolai rebutted but instantly regretted it.

She was the one to say those things or snap, not him.

They were opposite, but that’s why it worked.

They could balance each other out.

Nikolai opened his mouth to take it back.

But before he could she turned stoic and turned from him.

“I suppose that’s true” she nodded, her tone normal and steady again.

“Y/n-“ he sighed guiltily.

Her tone was soft as she muttered “you should have mentioned you were a pirate”.

“Privateer” Nikolai corrected, adding a wink when she turned to him.

She took deep breath, “I deserved to know”.

He nodded slowly, but then smirked as he sensed the possibility of a deeper meaning, “as mijn liefje you deserved far more than that darling”.

Y/n yet again rolled her eyes as she corrected him, “ I deserved to know as I’m the General of this mission”.

Nikolai sighed, upset his approach once again didn’t work.

“It changes the whole context of this trip to Kerch. I presume there’s also some connection to Ketterdam you’ve kept from me?” She questioned accusingly.

He stared into the water surrounding them and nodded, “Kaz Brekker and his crows are to have the relic in possession”.

Y/n silently nodded in response.

“Told you it wasn’t a bad idea” he teased in an attempt to break the palpable tension.

She turned to him, “you’re right. Your decision wasn’t so moronic after all. Lying to me, however…”

“How can I make it right Mijn liefje?” He questioned.

Nikolai watched as she stared at him before shaking her head and moving to walk off.

“Apologies General. Truly, how do I amend this?” He spoke up, following her.

Y/n didn’t bother looking at him as she responded, “you don’t care”.

“Yes, I do” he defended, brows furrowed.

Y/n huffed, “Fine. Don’t lie again and we can work successfully together. I’ll work on once again believing what you say, at least for matters pertaining to this mission”.

Nikolai sighed loudly, “fine. And how do I remedy this to you, y/n?”

“Excuse me? Are you choosing not to listen again? Is there a mirror around or something that you’re getting lost in?” She accused, eyes staring aggressively at him.

He chuckled at her thinly veiled insult but shook his head, “you said how to fix the distrust I have formed with my General. But how do I fix it with you”

When she caught on to what he was asking, she bit her inner cheek.

“Who says I ever trusted you?” She defended, hoping it would keep him from staring at her the way he currently was.

“Y/n, we both know you wouldn’t put up with me if you didn’t” he remarked confidently.

She scoffed loudly and stared at the dark body of water over the railing.

Nikolai waited silently for her response.

The answer eventually came out from her lips quietly but cut them both, “you can’t”.

Nikolai felt a sharp pain in his chest and closed his eyes tightly.

“Surely there must be something” he pleaded.

Y/n took a deep breath as she faced him, “you have refused to take this seriously, and instead flirted with me non stop since I arrived. And now I find out you have a second side of you, of which I was not aware of.”

Nikolai opened his eyes slowly as he fought the urge to curl up in a ball and sink through the ship into the deep waters below.

“Minimal trust may be needed to maintain our working relationship, but that’s all I’ll be able to muster up” she declared, stepping away from him and towards the stairs leading to the lower deck.

“Please” he panicked, grabbing her wrist.

Y/n stopped walking but didn’t turn around, “ I told you we can work together; what do you want?”

“You,” Nikolai admitted, a small nervous laugh following his confession.

He feigned confidence as he was fairly certain that his feelings were as clear from the start as her dismissals were.

Y/n took his confession as another flirtation and his laughter as evidence of his lack of sincerity. “Even now, you can’t be serious” she groaned, pulling her wrist away.

Nikolai determinedly followed after her, not ready to give up on trying to explain himself.

Just as he began to near her, they were hit by a strong gust of wind, sending her sliding down the deck.

As the ship steadied, she stood up only to find her foot had caught in a pile of ropes.

She angrily began pulling at them, her frustration growing as her actions only made it more tangled.

“Here,” Nikolai offered as he bent down to help untangle her.

"I don't need your help” she snapped defensively.

Nikolai chuckled softly, “are you sure? Cause it sure does look like it. ".

“No, I can handle myself” y/n declared, pulling at the knotted rope.

Nikolai softened his voice as he motioned to the pile at her feet, “humor me”.

“Fine” y/n sighed, dropping the ropes so he could work with them.

It took him a few minutes to get her completely untangled thanks to her frantic attempts to free herself.

Once the rope was no longer wrapped around her legs like a snake, she sat down on the bench at the edge of the deck.

Nikolai joined her, watching her closely as she flexed and stretched her ankles.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She groaned.

“Like what?” He wondered aloud.

Y/n gave him a knowing look, “Like you’re intrigued”.

“Maybe because I am, you’re very alluring” he complimented.

She shook her head, “I don’t get why you’re doing this. I’m not the good guy Nikolai. You don’t know me like you think you do”

“Who said I was? And,” he waved around the deck , “I could say the same.”

Y/n sighed and nodded, “true you are a lying pirate.”

“Privateer” Nikolai groaned exasperatedly but smiled when she laughed.

“I am sorry for keeping it from you” he swore.

Y/n hummed and glanced over at him, “why did you?”

“I wasn’t sure how you, a General, would feel about that lifestyle” he confessed, interlocking his fingers to keep from nervously fiddling them.

“Why would that matter?” She pressed.

Nikolai turned to her, “why wouldn’t it? I told you, I’m int-“.

“Stop” y/n cut him off, her voice strained.

“What?” He pondered, trying to read her eyes.

“Stop saying you’re interested in me. I know your reputation, and I don’t date or sleep with men I work with” y/n told him.

Nikolai nodded sincerely, “good policy, but there is a way to fix it so that’s not a problem”.

“You’d fire me” she said in disbelief.

He shrugged, “if you wanted me to”.

“Why would I want that?” Y/n questioned sharply.

“Perhaps because despite your claim otherwise, you can feel this thing between us” Nikolai argued.

She gave him a pathetically weak side glare, making him smirk but ultimately still deciding to drop it for now.

“You didn’t answer my question” he pointed out.

“Which one? You tend to have a lot” she smirked.

He laughed and shook his head.

When he calmed he took her hand in his, “how do I make up for this?”

She watched as he waved his hands to signal the deck/ship.

“You don’t need to” she told him softly.

Nikolai sighed, “Yes I do”.

“No. I never asked anything that would mean you should tell me” y/n explained.

“Still. All flirting and banter aside, I respect you. And as such should’ve informed you” he declared.

She smiled faintly, “any other secrets you’re keeping?”

“No” he promised firmly.

“Then we’re okay” she obliged.

Nikolai’s face lit up, “really?”

“You being real with me just there? Without flirting? That’s enough” y/n nodded.

Nikolai hummed as he nodded his head slowly, “Do you always push away guys who flirt with you?”

“When they’re obnoxious” she smirked.

He faked a gasp, “I’m fantastic company”.

He cautiously placed an arm around her as the wind picked up again, causing bumps to form on her exposed skin.

She sighed and whispered very lowly, “I suppose you’re not horrible”.

He smirked as he continued watching her closely.

“My turn, why do you say I don’t know you?” He wondered.

Y/n bit her lip as she looked towards him, “everyone sees me as a General.. but I didn’t start that way”.

When Nikolai nodded for her to continue, she took a deep breath.

“It goes without saying I had to work my way up to get here. But… I’ve made some egregious errors along the way” she whispered.

Nikolai squeezed her shoulder tenderly in response.

“In order to get to where I am, I had to be the one to order my fellow soldiers to fight in battles we knew would be deadly. I know there wasn’t another choice I could have made. But I still ordered them to fight in futile battles all because my job demanded I do such “ y/n sighed.

“I’ve fought with countless soldiers only to watch them meet their demise in combats we shouldn’t have agreed to enter. We were told that we needed to find a way to increase the area for which our country could claim as won territory. While the fights did give us more claimed mileage, it came at a cost. Many lost their lives and I was rewarded by getting a promotion “ she told him, her voice laced with disgust.

Nikolai had been rubbing her shoulder in silence as he listened to her.

As she concluded the story, he took a moment to compose his thoughts.

Y/n seemed to notice this, “if you’re trying to look for any redeeming qualities. Don’t. I don't have any."

“That’s not true. You both literally and metaphorically fought to get here. To earn your place. You are strong, courageous, determined, loyal, and caring. I don’t know another General who shows as much compassion and concern for those in their command as you” Nikolai assured her, his hand squeezing her shoulder and guiding her slightly closer.

Y/n gave him a thankful smile before turning her gaze back to the water.

They sat in a delicate blanket of silence as they watched the waves crashing around them.

At some point, y/n’s sleep deprivation kicked in and she laid her head on his shoulder.

Nikolai smiled as she unconsciously scooted closer due to the frigid air.

It was only a matter of minutes before Nikolai joined her in slumber.

——

“Well that went well” Y/n smirked.

Nikolai rolled his eyes “you’re just jealous”.

She laughed and shook her head, “oh do enlighten me Nikolai, what is it I’m jealous of exactly?”

“Of my source” he stated, sitting at the oak chair in his ship’s office.

“Inej Ghafa? She’s beautiful, so jealousy wouldn’t be unfounded but I don’t care to be her.” Y/n stated with a shrug.

“Besides, criticism doesn't always equal jealousy. It's time that you learned that” she remarked.

“You only say that to cover your jealousy” Nikolai pressed; partially to hide his embarrassment over the failed mission and partially to try and have her confess.

“Nikolai” she laughed exasperatedly, “your source isn’t loyal to any of us. She’s loyal to Brekker. Saying such is a remark of criticism, not jealousy. Unless you’re suggesting I’m jealous of her for being partners with Brekker and not you.”

She stood beside him, hands pointlessly rummaging through the documents on the table, “that would be founded since he’s likely the one getting the actual intel from your source”.

Nikolai scoffed but was unable to think of a comeback, opting for “he’s not a King”.

“So?” Y/n questioned, moving to grab the extra chair.

“So, he…” Nikolai mumbled, his voice trailing off.

Y/n smirked at him, dragging her chair to the other side of his desk, “Were you trying to make me see you as superior to Brekker? You were jealous over even the notion I thought otherwise, huh? Rather hypocritical there, moi tsar”.

“Shut up” Nikolai glared.

“Never” y/n laughed and as she saw he wasn’t going to respond she decided to add another comment.

“I don’t believe in never” she said, using a voice intended to be mocking of his.

“I love it when you quote me” he smirked, “even if you do so in an absurd voice”.

Y/n laughed, “It’s your voice”.

“It is not” Nikolai protested.

She crossed her arms loosely over her chest, “It so is”.

“No” he argued with a pout.

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully, “Why are you always so annoying?”

“I’m not, after all, I thought you don’t believe in always?“ Nikolai reminded her tauntingly.

Y/n gave him a glaring side eye glance and tossed some hair over her shoulder.

She picked up her pace to increase the distance between them.

But Nikolai saw her bashful grin and lip bite nonetheless.

——

“That’s idiotic” Felix, a low-ranking member of their team, said to Nikolai; leaning on the desk in frustration.

”Hey, you can't speak to Nikolai that way, “ y/n spoke as she sauntered into the room, “only I can!"

Nikolai smirked at her before smiling and broke into a laugh as he shook his head.

“Nonetheless, what idiotic decision did he make this time?” She asked, glancing at Felix after smirking back at Nikolai.

“That’s no way to speak of your charming King” Nikolai huffed.

She giggled, “you overestimate your charm moi tsar”.

As she turned back to Felix, she requested clarification, “go on, what is it you have a problem with?”.

“Entering the village without reinforcements is bound to be a.. improper act “ Felix muttered, choosing his words carefully so as to not insult the Ravkan King.

Y/n briefly thought on it and nodded, “you fear an ambush or set up”.

“Yes General y/l/n” Felix agreed with a small nod.

Nikolai watched silently to see who y/n would side with.

“I can certainly comprehend the reasoning for your hesitation and frustration Private, but nonethelsss the King is very well aware of that possibility” y/n assured him.

Nikolai smirked and puffed his chest confidently.

“I saw to it” she glanced at Nikolai knowingly before turning back to Felix.

“So, while your concern is not ill-founded, you are mistaken if you believe that is enough to call off the effort” y/n told him vaguely.

“But-“ Felix protested firmly.

“No buts. We do not have time for futile arguments on the matter. The King and I have to be on our way t-“ y/n professionally informed Felix.

“Saints! You-“ Felix interrupted, his voice loud and tone laced with judgment.

“Private Felix, I advise you to stop. You will not disrespect General y/l/n that way. Certainly not in my presence” Nikolai spoke calmly but definitively.

Y/n fought to hide her shock as she slyly glanced over towards Nikolai.

Catching her side gaze, he made faint eye contact with her to show his seriousness and sincerity before he faced the Private again.

“She is our top General and when speaking to her, you will address her as such. You will not speak over her or argue when she has stated the matter is over” Nikolai ordered.

Felix stood silently, his body rigid.

“Is that understood Felix?” Nikolai pressed, tilting his head slightly as he watched the Private squirm slightly under his stare.

“Yes moi tsar,” Felix professed with a slight bow.

Nikolai glanced over at y/n to check if she was okay.

She had him a small smile and nodded.

As Nikolai faced the man, he rose from his seat, “your time would be better spent readying the horses for the journey”.

Felix nodded rapidly, lowering his head slightly in both Nikolai and y/N’s directions before leaving.

Upon the door closing behind Felix, Nikolai began apologizing for the Private’s behavior.

Y/n shook her head, “thank you. You didn’t need to do that”.

“As I told you before, you’ve more than earned your title and position. It does not matter what your upbringing was, you’ve earned that respect” Nikolai explained delicately.

She smiled softly as she teased, “hmmm maybe your charm isn’t so bad”.

Nikolai grinned and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, “told ya you’d warm up to me”.

“Don’t push your luck, moi tsar” y/n joked, smirking at him.

He groaned playfully and shook his head.

——

The cheers began droning out as the crew gathered by the desk to review the current success and their next step.

Y/n glanced at Nikolai, her smile still on her face from having retrieved the relic and the contagious excitement of their crew.

Nikolai grinned back widely, “Please keep smiling at me like that-ow!”

Y/n smacked his arm and turned to face the rest of their crew as they began planning the next steps.

“Okay! I'll pay attention." He sighed, rubbing his arm.

“I’m just saying. We can’t go in expecting it to be just as easy as it was last time. If things go wrong even slightly, children will die” y/n clarified after having critiqued someone’s overconfident suggestion.

“Great pep talk” one of Nikolai’s men joked.

”Well sorry that l'm not full of sunshine and rainbows" She defended stoically but Nikolai watched the way her gaze shifted away from everyone.

“That’s where I come in!” Nikolai exclaimed, nudging her, “we balance each other out like that”

She glanced up and gave him a weak glare and smirk.

He smirked at her before looking at the crew, “Now,”.

—

“Hey, y/n-“ Nikolai said, grabbing her hand as she went to exit.

As she turned to him, she spoke emotionlessly “moi tsar”

“Stop, please” He sighed.

“What?” Y/n questioned, watching him closely.

“Calling me that… in a serious way” Nikolai mumbled.

She raised an eyebrow at him, “I don’t follow”.

“It’s cute when you do it to annoy me” he confessed, “But you’re using it in a serious manner right now”.

“It is your title” y/n pointed out hesitantly.

“But it’s not what you need to call me. You’re deflecting” Nikolai responded confidently.

“I am not” she argued, looking away from him.

“I know what they said got to you” Nikolai acknowledged.

Y/n shrugged, and resumed her exit “I’m fine”.

Nikolai grabbed her wrist again, “I’m well aware of that. I’m merely wanting to mention that what you said was crucial”.

She stared silently at him as she waited for him to explain.

“I know they wanted an upbeat message for their send-off, but that’s not what they needed. That’s not what the mission or the children need. They needed the reality check of what a slip-up might mean” Nikolai elaborated, thumb brushing her forearm.

She sighed quietly and nodded hesitantly, “you don’t need to try and charm me”

“Cause I already do so effortlessly?” He teased with a wink.

Y/n chuckled and shook her head.

“Kidding, I’m not trying to charm or flatter you, I truly mean it. I meant what I said, we compliment each other. Your message was just as important if not more and it was better articulated than I would’ve been able to do and more accurate in tone than I’d be able to muster” he complimented.

“You do like to act a fool” she teased with a small smirk.

“I believe you mean jester” Nikolai rebutted.

“That’s better?” She laughed loudly in disbelief.

He shrugged, “I’ll be whatever you want me to be”.

She rolled her eyes and laughed with him, “saints I hate you. “

—

“It could all be over tomorrow” Nikolai stated as he sat beside her.

She nodded as she stared into distance, “yeah”.

“It’ll be alright you know?” He offered quietly.

“It’s impossible to know that” y/n pessimistically argued.

Nikolai bummed, “Most people say impossible when they really mean improbable”.

“No, I meant impossible,” she remarked.

“How do you know I’m not some future seeing Saint?” Nikolai scoffed.

She raised an eyebrow at him, “I thought you were done hiding secrets?”

“Any secrets about myself that I know of, you know of now. It’s possible that I don’t know I have that ability yet” Nikolai rambled.

She stared at him silently.

“I didn’t say probable” he laughed with a shrug.

She groaned but laughed along with him, a tiny smile on her lips.

“Nikolai?” Y/n whispered after a couple moments of silence.

“Yeah Y/n?” He asked, his full attention turning to her.

“Thank you” she mumbled quietly.

“For being my charming self?” He joked, smirking.

She looked away as she admitted, “actually, yes”

Shock erased the smirk from Nikolai’s face as he stared at her stunned, “yes?”

“You’ve oddly made this trip much more enjoyable than I’d anticipated” y/n explained slowly, resisting the urge to stop confessing her feelings.

He smiled widely, “glad I could relieve some of the copious amount of stress you carry even if only briefly”.

She laughed, “ I said more enjoyable not less stressful”.

“Please, you already said you do find me enjoyable. You can’t find my behavior enjoyable and also stress inducing” he defended smugly.

“I wasn’t referring to your behavior” she whispered, tone suddenly turning serious again.

“Then what?” Nikolai pondered aloud.

When she didn’t respond, he lowered his voice and tried again, “Y/n?”

“Hey, -“ he sighed upon further silence from her.

“You” she blurted, shutting her eyes.

Nikolai’s mind and body froze in shock for a moment.

He recognized the meaning behind her words given her body language and tone.

“Wait…?” He began, watching her closely.

He smirked, “you not only grew fond of me, you did fall for me after all; didn’t you”.

Y/n remained silent but opened her eyes to stare at the water surrounding them.

“So much for hating me, huh? I told you, opposites attract” Nikolai teased.

“Goddammit! No! I hate you! I hate you and your dumb voice and your stupid muscles and your awfully attractive face!" She groaned, rubbing her hands down her face.

He chuckled, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him.

She shook her head in annoyance as her forehead rested against his chest.

“What did I tell you about hate?” He teased, his lips just above her ear.

“Love and hate are two sides of a very, very thin line.” She whispered.

The sincerity of her voice made his smirk fade and his attitude shift to a more serious tone.

He hummed, “I truly do love it when you quote me.”

She closed her eyes as his breath hit her ear.

They sat there like that for a few minutes in peaceful silence.

Suddenly y/n shook her head and pushed back from him.

Nikolai complied, moving his arms to let her free instantly upon seeing the sign of her unspoken desire.

Nonetheless, he wished to know what changed, “Y/n?”

She sighed deep, “I cant- we, can’t do this, it won’t work and I’ll lose everything I’ve worked for”.

“What are you talking about?” Nikolai questioned.

Y/n merely shook her head and stood to leave.

Nikolai clasped her wrist but slid his hand down until he could interlock their fingers.

“Y/n, when we first met you said I flirted with everyone. If that’s what this is about-“ he tried.

She shook her head again, “It’s not”.

“It’s not?” He questioned with uncertainty.

Y/n made eye contact with him as she assured him, “No. I know your intentions are pure, even if your flirtations aren’t always”.

He chuckled briefly, squeezing her hand to encourage her to continue.

She gave him a sympathetic look as she sighed, “I fought too hard to get here. I’d be giving it all up”.

“What are you talking about? I’m not asking you to give up any-“ Nikolai argued, his brows furrowed.

“You’re not. I know” she acknowledged, her sad eyes confusing him more.

“But, if I.. if we follow whatever this is between us…” she mumbled as she looked away.

“No matter all the work I’ve put in to earn my place as a General, people are going to think I’ve slept my way to my position” y/n explained quietly.

“You had the position before we met” Nikolai pointed out softly.

“They won’t see it like that” y/n declared.

He sighed slowly, “Who cares what they think?”

“I do! See, that’s just it” she sighed, “we’re too opposite. I care what they think.”

“Woah, hey,” he panicked, tugging her hand back towards him as she went to leave.

“No, I- … I can’t” she sighed, pulling her hand in an attempt to depart.

“Y/n, milaya please, let’s at least talk about this. If you truly want us to be something, I promise that w-“ he pleaded.

“Nikolai, please” she choked, “stop”.

Nikolai sighed defeatedly and let go of her hand.

“You won’t understand no matter how hard you try and I wouldn’t want you to be able to” she told him with her back to him.

“I’m sorry Nikolai, but-“ y/n sighed.

“Do you want us to be something?” He pressed.

She took a deep breath and nodded.

“I do. But It doesn’t matter what I want” she sighed, walking away.

“It does to me” Nikolai called out in a soft whisper.

It was enough to make her pause briefly.

But in the end she shook head with her back still to him and resumed her exit as she headed to her bunk.

Neither one of them slept well that night.

—-

Y/n glanced up from her bowl of cold oatmeal as she heard footsteps.

Upon having made eye contact with an equally slept deprived Nikolai, she gave him a small sympathetic smile.

He gave her a kind nod before grabbing himself a bowl.

A few silent moments later he sat beside her, his spoon stirring in his bowl mindlessly.

“Those things you said yesterday... Did you mean them?" He asked, his eyes still on his bowl of oats.

Y/N’s stomach dropped.

“I did, but like I said-“ she began, dropping her spoon into her bowl as she started to stand.

Nikolai gently rested his hand on hers against the table, “you can stay. I won’t mention it again. That’s all I wanted to know”.

Y/n glanced at him with sad eyes trying to send him a look that communicated her seriousness of her position but also her disappointment with their predicament.

Nikolai seemed to read it as he hooked his fingers under hers and gave her hand a squeeze.

She sighed softly, squeezing his hand back before he removed his.

“So we face Shu Han today” he mumbled.

Y/n hummed, “yeah, should be fun, huh?”

Nikolai chuckled, leaning down and nudging her shoulder with his, “I don’t foresee it lasting long”

“Don’t jinx it, or I’ll need a pardon” she glared.

“A pardon for?” He interrogated, stirring his oats.

“For regicide” she smirked, taking a bite of her breakfast.

Nikolai choked and snapped his head to her with wild eyes but a knowing smile on his lips, “how do you propose you’ll get a pardon if you’ve already killed me darling?”

“You’d sign it before your murder, moi tsar” she stated simply, not looking at him.

“Oh, would I now?” He chuckled.

She nodded, “yes”.

“And why would I do something like that?” He pondered playfully.

“You wouldn’t want me to be charged, would you?” She questioned, bashfully blinking at him.

He swallowed thickly and shook his head, “no”.

“See” she winked, turning back to the table.

Nikolai blushed and rolled his eyes, “I would like to believe I’d not sign my life away by giving you a pardon for my murder though, y/n/n”.

She hummed, “I’ve earned this title for a reason, moi tsar, I assure you it wouldn’t be an option”.

Nikolai snorted, “so you’re not just murdering me, you’re going to torture me until you manage to force me to sign a pardon for said murder?”

She laughed and gave a small nod, eyes stuck on her bowl.

Nikolai tilted his head unconsciously as he focused on listening intently to her laughter.

“Don’t jinx it then” she replied, looking up.

She felt her face warm as she saw the stupid grin on his face and how he’d been silently watching her.

Nikolai smiled and nodded, “as you wish General y/l/n”.

Y/n huffed, “much better”.

He chuckled, nudging her again, “finish your breakfast, we’ll need it”.

She glared over at him, “now you’re jinxing it the other direction?!”

Nikolai laughed and shook his head, “course not”.

She raised her eyebrow at him in question.

“I was balancing it out” he winked.

She laughed loudly, her hand covering her lips instantly as she forced herself to stop laughing.

Nikolai frowned slightly as he watched her stop herself from enjoying herself.

“You can laugh y/n” he spoke tenderly.

“Obviously” she remarked, giving him a small smile.

He sighed, setting his hand on top of hers again, “you should laugh, besides you have an amazing laugh”

She furrowed her eyebrows, pulling her hand back, “you’re telling me to laugh? What’s next, are you going to tell me to smile?”

Nikolai took in deep breath, “no, I umm.. I didn’t mean it like that”.

“Then what did you mean?” She questioned, watching him intently.

He sighed, “I’ve been watching you constantly deny yourself happiness and fun”.

“And?” She wondered aloud.

“And you deserve better” he shrugged.

Y/n stiffened, “I know how to take care of myself moi tsar”.

“General y/n, I’m well aware of that. I’m merely suggesting you could, per chance, let yourself enjoy life from time to time” he fought.

“I’m a General, Nikolai. That’s not something I have the luxury of doing” she stated.

He sighed, “that sounds like an excuse”.

“And that sound like the end of the conversation” y/n argued, standing back up.

“Y/n,” he sighed, reaching for her hand in apology.

“Nikolai, stop” she whimpered, making him retract his hand instantly.

She took an audibly deep breath, “my apologies, moi tsar. That was inappropriate. As was this whole conversation. And last night, I -“.

He stood, “don’t. You may choose to deny yourself the opportunity to experience joy and happiness. But I won’t accept you making that choice for me”.

He left without another word.

Y/n whimpered to herself as she leaned on the edge of his desk in despair.

—-

Nikolai grinned as he watched the last of the Shu Han soldiers retreat.

They’d been able to get the children out safely prior to Shu Han guards being alerted, but then all hell broke loose.

Fortunately, they’d planned for such and came well prepared for a fight.

He was very pleased they succeeded on their first attempt.

However, as he spun around to celebrate with y/n he saw her bracing herself against the brick wall.

Panic and anger rushed through his whole body as his eyes landed on the large patch of blood covering her side and seeping past her hand.

“Y/n!” He shouted as he ran over to her with wide eyes.

Y/n shifted in an attempt to stand up straighter, “I’m fine”.

Nikolai stared at her in clear disbelief, “you got shot. There's a bullet in you! I can see it. "

"I can feel it. " she hissed, pressing her hand harder against her wound.

He sighed, “Let me help you”.

“No, thank you, but no” y/n rejected, taking a few unsteady steps down the road.

Nikolai groaned, “Why? You’re shot for saint’s sake!”

“I don’t think a King is supposed to swear like that” she joked, giving him a small smile to assure him she wasn’t mad at him.

He shook his head, “now isn’t the time for jokes. You need a healer, come on”.

“I’m coming” she agreed, ignoring the hand he extended out to her for support.

He watched as she pushed herself up off of the wall completely, stumbling a few inches.

“Why are you so damn stubborn? I’m just trying to help you walk” Nikolai huffed.

She sent him a look that almost buckled his knees.

The pain, sadness sorrow, and guilt behind it deeply confused and hurt him.

“Y/n, talk to me. Please. Help me understand“ he pleaded.

“If I take your help-“ she sighed, looking down.

“You’re not going to owe anything to me Y/n. Or to Ravka, or anyone, I swear that to you. I know how it normally would go, but I won’t allow that to happen. That’s in my control, and you have my vow I won’t let it. Please, just let me carry you to the Volkvolny so the healer can see to your wound” Nikolai pleaded softly.

Y/n softened her gaze and shot him a grateful smile but still shook her head, “moi-… Nik, I-… I will lose the respect of my men if -“.

He nearly grinned at the nickname and had it not been for current affairs he would have.

Nikolai sighed, “you got shot defending the King”.

“And yet, the King would be the one having to carry me out? I don’t think so. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to offend you, truly. But I can’t” she pleaded for him to comprehend what she was saying.

“I understand… as much as I can anyways… but compromise?” He asked with a small smile.

She looked up and nodded slowly in confusion.

Nikolai looped himself under her arm as she pressed her hand harder into her side.

Y/n let him support her so she could walk easier; even letting herself lean on him some as they went.

But suddenly she halted, causing Nikolai to look at her as she turned to him with a slight wince from the shift.

“Thank you” she stated, eyes boring into his.

He smiled and winked, “couldn’t give you an actual reason to hate me”.

She laughed softly, “not just for this. For everything. I know I’m not the most likable person”.

“Y/n stop,” Nikolai protested, brown knit together “you’re endearing”.

She smiled softly, and shook her head, “I appreciate that, but that’s you. It’s like you said, we're opposites”.

He hummed, “You have to put on a harder front, but that doesn’t mean that’s who you are, I’ve seen who you are”.

Y/n failed to fight her eyes watering as she rested her head on his shoulder, “maybe I don’t hate you”.

Nikolai chuckled tenderly, “Hmm now see, I think that wound must be worse than it looked”.

“Shut up” she groaned with a small laugh.

He grinned over at her, “Much more like it; let’s go darling”.

----

Nikolai stood watching in the doorway of the Volkvolny’s makeshift medical ward as Genya worked on bringing y/n’s skin back together.

“He doesn’t usually stick around for this part” she grinned, her hand turning slightly to cover a new angle of the wound.

Nikolai coughed loudly and gave the healer a warning look before giving y/n an apologetic one.

Y/n smiled softly at him, “I’m a valuable member to your crew if I do say so myself”.

He smirked and nodded before his eyes refocused on her wound.

“You’re certainly valuable General, but it’s more than that” Genya winked, “I can tell by the sound of his heart”.

Y/n felt her face warm as Nikolai’s shy gaze snapped up to meet hers.

“Geny-“ he began.

“Saints, y/n, your face is awfully flushed” Genya commented with a sly grin, “maybe you two have something in common, hmmm?”

Y/n bit her lip and held eye contact with Nikolai silently for a few minutes.

“Done” Genya said, ‘dusting’ her hands off.

Nikolai’s gaze reluctantly broke from y/N’s to question Genya, “are you sure?”

Before the healer could respond, Nikolai repeated his concern, “she’s alright? No more bleeding?”

Genya nodded in confirmation, her smirk never leaving her face.

While he knew it was likely due to the seemingly unspoken tension between him and y/n, he wanted to be sure it had nothing to do with the sincerity of her answer.

“Genya, be serious. Is y/n completely healed and safe now? Nothing more needs to be done?” He questioned.

“Yes your highness” Genya said with a dramatic curtsy.

“Thank you Genya” y/n stated as Nikolai sent the healer a glare.

“We did it” y/n smiled as Nikolai walked to her.

He nodded, “Yeah, could’ve done without you getting hurt though”.

“My apologies, moi tsar” y/n giggled, grabbing his hand and squeezing it.

He shook his head and laughed faintly, “I’m just glad you’re okay now”.

She smiled and looked around to find it was dark and no one was around.

Y/n laid her head on his shoulder silently.

Nikolai’s arm promptly wrapped carefully around her shoulder.

“So, what’s next for you, General y/l/n?” He asked formally.

She sighed softly, “the same old, same old. Go back to leading my regiment. You?”

“You don’t sound entirely enthusiastic about that” Nikolai pointed out.

She shook her head slightly against his shoulder, “I’m not. To be honest…”

Y/n looked around again to ensure no one could hear, “,I’m exhausted. Physically, emotionally, and mentally with the role”.

“So why keep doing it?” He questioned.

“I’ve got no other cards to play” y/n admitted to him.

“You are far too self-effacing” Nikolai sighed dramatically.

“And you are far too confident” she teased back.

He chuckled and nodded, “opposites attract”.

She flushed and sighed, “I don’t know what else I’d do. What else I’d be good at.”

“But you don’t want to return to what you’re doing now either?” Nikolai clarified.

“Not entirely. I mean this,” she said as she wove her hands around, “sure.”

“But, day in and day out of battles and sending kids into fight knowing they won’t make it?” She shook her head.

Nikolai held her closer, his lips placed to the top of her head as tears formed in her eyes.

“Then don’t” he advised.

Y/n squinted, “What?”

”Give me a chance." He requested.

Y/n lifted her head to look at him, “A chance for what?"

“A chance to prove you that I can make you happy." He explained.

“Nikolai…” she sighed quietly.

“Hear me out, I was honest when I said opposites attract. And that doesn’t have to just be about us romantically. It can be about our responsibilities and skills as well. I could use someone like you in my advisory team. But no one could handle it with the excellence and elegance that you yourself would” he told her confidently.

“Are you sure about this? Or are you just offering-“ y/n hesitated.

He shook his head, “I’m extremely sure. No strings attached. You don’t have to be courting me or anything, it’s a job offer for you to better inform and advise me on military matters, and call me out when I’m not doing it right or not being sincere enough”.

“Okay. Thank you,” she said, closing her eyes as to not cry.

Nikolai smiled to himself, “So you’ll take it?”

“Yes,” she stood, ready to kneel before him as was customary.

Nikolai shot her a look, “don’t you dare”.

“But protocol-“ y/n began to protest.

“I don’t care, you don’t have to follow protocols with me. Not to mention, you’re wounded. If you dare try to bow, I’ll recede my offer” Nikolai commanded delicately.

She huffed but smirked at him him as she sat back down, “fine”.

“Thank you. Besides, there’s something else I need to ask” he smiled.

“What’s that?” She wondered.

“Will you give me a chance? Not as a King. But just as Nikolai” he proposed.

Y/n stared at him, “as in…”

He nodded, “I assure you, if you give me the chance I’ll do whatever I can to make it worth it. And should anyone dare disrespect you, they will find themselves waiting before the King for relevant consequences as is customary”.

“You’ll threaten them to respect me?” Y/n interrogated suspiciously.

“If they’re idiotic enough to not see why they should in the first place, then yes. You’ll get the respect you deserve and have more than earned, one way or another” Nikolai acknowledged.

“I must say, with this new job, I've got no time for courting... but I think I can make an exception for you. Just for you." She smirked.

Nikolai grinned, “likewise”.

Y/n and Nikolai laughed softly and leaned into rest their heads against each others’.

Perhaps opposites do attract after all.

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beautysamour · 1 year

Text

Wrong destination | chapter one.

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Characters: most characters that were present in the series will be present here.

some oc’ will also be present in this story

Summary: You were a special type of grisha, some would even call you a saint. Manipulating time was your specialty, you were able to go forward and back, pause then continue time. But you were still considered weak in your family, all your family members after the time of the fold were weak compared to what your ancestors could do.

Your intention was to save your friend, and the only way to do it was to go back in time.

But you didn’t mean to go this far back.

—

warning/s: a description of death.

a/n: this will be a series! for anyone wondering, “modern” ravka is set during our current time. this’ll be a very plot heavy fanfic but it was also be very focused on the romance since it’s an x reader. and it’s nikolai. but yeah

enjoy!!! I’ll try to get chapter 2 out as soon as I can!

PRESENT DAY

“So how will I be able to tell when you stop time?”

“You won’t.”

“What? Well that shit’s lame.” Elijah exclaimed as you two continue to walk through the forest.

The two of you have been wondering through the forest since before sunrise on the look out for an old cabin. The night before, your family let it slip that there was a cabin in the forest your family lineage use to find refuge in from drüskelle, witch hunters, you were told they were called.

You were always interested in your grandparents, great-grandparents, great-great grandparents, your ancestors in general. You have a unique power, so unique that some people would classify you as a saint, and you wish your family now found as much interest in it as you so they could help you train with it.

“What’d you say the cabin looked like again?” Elijah was slightly behind you, loosing more and more interest by the second. You stopped walking abruptly and turned around ready to say a sarcastic remark, “It’s red and blue and has purple windows. What do you think a cabin looks like?” Elijah rolled his eyes at you before you turned around and began to walk again.

“K smart ass,” you throw back a middle finger at hearing his voice.

—

The sun was starting to set and you haven’t seen any signs of any cabins or even any ruins. To make things worse, the sky was now covered with gloomy clouds. It would start raining any minute.

“Eli,” you call out and stop walking to turn around to him again, “you can go back if you want, I’m going to keep looking.”

Elijah lets out an exhale, his straightened frame deflating, before walking up to you and throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“You know I’d never leave you half way into a mission,” he gave you a lopsided smile to which you returned with your own smile, “you wouldn’t survive without me.” You let out a scoff out of affection and elbowed him on the side.

He lets go of you to wrap his arms around his stomach area, fake crying with a grin on his face. Suddenly he stops moving and a sullen expression falls on his face, a playful glare now being sent your way.

You both are silent for a few moments until the both of you convulse into a fit of laughter, momentarily forgetting about being all serious for the mission and indulging in each others humor.

—

“Y/N.”

You brought your hand up to cover your mouth as you yawned before answering Elijah, “What’s up?”

Elijah pointed somewhere off into the distance, you followed the direction that he was pointing towards and was met with the view of shed, or rather, a cabin.

You broke out into a sprint, the weariness quickly dissipating, with Elijah just slightly behind you. You guys slowed to a stop as you reached the cabin, fortunately the door had no kind of lock on it. Elijah grabbed your wrist before you would fully push the door open.

“What’s wrong?” You glanced around the area again, worried that Elijah spotted someone near. When you didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary you turned your head towards Elijah, an eyebrow raised in confusion.

“I know this wasn’t exactly easy to find, but don’t you feel…suspicious of something?” You furrowed your brows in confusion, no, nothing felt off to you. Maybe it was because this was your ancestors safe haven, but you felt an immediate sensation of comfort when you saw the cabin.

“No, maybe it’s because it’s nighttime, so you’re scared,” you teased but Elijah didn’t indulge in your humorous moment. He stared into your eyes with a sort of worry and determination in his eyes that confused you. Elijah never got worried.

Regretting your choice of your words, you grab onto his hand with your other that wasn’t near the door, “If anything happens, I’ll go back in time.” He relaxed the muscles in his face that he was clenching and softened his gaze, “I’d really prefer if nothing bad happened in the first place.” He slid his hand out of your grasp as he let go of your wrist, waiting for you to completely open the door.

The interior that greeted you as you opened the door wasn’t that different from what you imagined, in fact you’re pretty sure you’ve seen it in one of your dreams. The floor creaked as you stepped inside of the cabin, the floor had dust resting on top of it and the ceiling was made out of stone just as the walls. It was only the floor that was made out of wood.

It was bigger than you imagined, there were two staircases leading to the second and third floor and a table with six chairs around it was settled in the middle of the cabin. At the top of the third floor, you could see a big grandfather clock sitting at the back. You turn around expecting to see Elijah right behind you, but he was still at the front door.

“Eli, come in,” you gestured for him to follow, “I can’t,” he replied, his back straighter than ever, now on full alert. “I think we should go-“

As if on cue, an axe flew behind Elijah, barely missing him as it took a piece of his shirt with it. You two immediately make eye contact with widened eyes, mutually agreeing to start running.

Elijah was slightly in front of you as you two ran through the woods, yells that sounded like war screams could be heard behind you.

“Drüskelle? I thought they all died out,” you said through ragged breaths.

“Yeah, me too. Apparently we were wrong,” Elijah jerked his body backwards and aggressively gestured you to move to the side. Once you got out of his way, he brought both of his arms up and moved them in a downward motion, successfully grasping the hearts of the drüskelle, buying both some extra time.

“Hey, you might wanna do your thing?” Elijah said as he caught up with you, “actually don’t, it’s not needed.” He gave you a smug grin before focusing his eyes on the path ahead of you two.

You allowed yourself to let out a chuckle, thinking that you both were somewhat in a better situation and that you’d have a few minutes before the drüskelle caught up.

You were wrong.

Not even five feet later, another axe flies past your eyes, you follow it and your knees buckle causing you to fall forward at seeing the sight next to you.

The axe connected with Elijah’ neck.

His once whole body now in two, with his head separated from the rest.

A scream immediately leaves your mouth and your hand flew up to cover it, attempting to muffle your cries.

Now hearing the voices of drüskelle coming closer, you close your eyes and try to focus. Whispers of self comfort escape you as you try to calm yourself down. The sound of heavy footsteps got closer and the voices raised in volume.

You take a deep breath in and hold it trying to calm your breathing, and before a drüskelle was able to fully reach you, you move your arms in a circular motion; following the silhouette of a clock.

And finally, you feel a breeze hit you and silence takes over.

THE PAST

When you opened your eyes you found yourself laying on the middle of the ground in some sort of cabin. Confused to where you were at, both in time and physically, you turned to your left and saw a clock. Specifically the clock you found in your family’-if you could even call it yours-safe haven.

“What the fuck…” you pushed yourself up now sitting upright and moved your arms in a circular motion again assuming that you went back to the wrong time as there was no dust on the floor.

Nothing happened, there was no breeze, no silence, just the sound of the wind blowing through the trees and the birds chirping. You moved your arms again. And again. And again.

It wasn’t working. You couldn’t go forward in time, or pause it, or even go further back. You were stuck.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat as you start to panic, you couldn’t get back home, and you couldn’t save Eli. You were stuck. You were stuck.

You jerk your head towards the front door when you hear it open and jerk backwards when you hear two voices come through the door. You couldn’t hear everything they were saying but you caught one word they were saying a lot, tortoise. You decided that didn’t matter when you heard one of them start to come up the stairs.

Luckily, the other called them back before they could fully go upstairs. You heard a few clicks coming from the direction of the door and then a soft thud, the footsteps and voices now gone.

A few moments passes before you felt comfortable moving forward again. There was no one on the bottom floor-but there was some food.

As you push yourself up on your feet, you groan as you feel the uncomfortable tension at your back. You cringe at the sound of you back cracking but the tension disappearing makes it worth it.

As you run down the stairs and take a steaming sweet potato, not caring that the people who lived here would most likely notice, you look out a window to the right of the front door.

Novyi Zem?

A little to the left of the window you saw small clock pendant on the wall with locations on each hour mark: Kerch, Shu Han, Ravka, Fjerda, and Novyi Zem, your current location.

You opened the door and walked out the house, your curiosity overpowering the worry of your power not working.

“Move!” Someone said as they ran right into you, knocking you back so hard you hit the door. You scoffed and brushed up the area they pushed you, “Babink,” you cursed to yourself already feeling irritated at this era.

You spotted a jewelry stand from the corner of your eye and walked to it. Modern day Ravka didn’t have these designs, and it was exceptionally rare for jewelry to be made out of genuine crystals. Your irritation subsided as you fawn over the jewelry.

“Are you going to buy anything?” Asked the person working there.

I wish I could, “No, sorry.” The worker glanced over your outfit once before speaking to another customer. Right, you had modern day clothes on.

You started walking again, trying to find a stand with clothes that you could easily steal from. Normally you wouldn’t steal- you wouldn’t ever steal- but you didn’t have any money.

You finally found a stand selling clothes after walking around the crowded streets for some time, luckily the person working at the stand was focused with another customer. You reached for a few pieces of clothing and stalled at the stand for a few minutes hoping that the person at the stand would forget you were there.

Not sure how you could play this off, you answered to an imaginary person calling you, “Hey! I was just waiting for you…” you held your breath as you walked away from the stand, you were about to take a turn that would make you disappear from the stand’ point of view, but the saints hate you apparently.

“Hey! Hey!” they yelled again, “They’re a thief!”

You broke out into a sprint as commotion broke out in the stands, “Shit-fuck, shit-what the hell,” you brought your arms up ready to go back in time, “Oh my- fuck!” you cursed out at remembering that you can’t manipulate time right now.

You took a sudden turn left and bumped into another person, “sorry-“ said a female and male voice as they started running again. You nearly started running the way they came from until you saw a group of guards running you way- assuming that they were after you, you ran the same way the other people went.

The shopping area only got more chaotic it seemed. From behind you, you heard the guards yelling out “stop them!” which caused more people to run after you.

You followed the duo in front of you, it seemed like they knew how to outrun guards and such so you were willing to bet that following you would get you out.

Somewhere along the way the duo got separated and you trailed behind the guy. After some parkour, he turned a sudden corner, which you followed, slipped as you came to an abrupt stop. There was a locked door blocking your guys’ path, just your luck.

Fuck this era.

You turned around ready to run away but the guards were right behind you. You stepped back and tried to examine a way out. You could do some parkour on the wall, and some stands, but that couldn’t guarantee your escape.

“Hey,” you began to say; hoping that you could talk it out.

The guy behind you ran past you, immediately throwing punches and elbowing people.

“Guess violence is always the answer here-“ you took a shoe off your foot and threw it at one of the men who were running towards you. As the guard dodged it, you opted for slapping him in the face since you weren’t a hundred percent confident with your punching skills.

Taking the guard off guard, you ran towards one of the men hanging on the guy’ back. You jumped on his back effectively piggyback riding him and started bashing his head with your fist. It didn’t take long for him to fling you off his back, and he was about to lunge for your neck at strangle you but the guy who you were following managed to pull him back and throw him to a wall.

You mumble out a thanks as you get back on your feet.

“Hey!” You heard to your left.

Suddenly a wall of light blocked your vision that stunned the guards that you were fighting.

The one responsible for the wall of light, who happened to be the girl who got separated from the guy, ran up to him and helped him up, “So much for nobody knowing who I am,” she said with an amused yet exasperated tone.

“Yeah, that was subtle,” replied the guy. When the guy fully got back onto his feet, he looked at you then looked back at the girl before running toward the locked door.

“Uh-,” you called out, “ Thank you! For helping me,” you cringed at yourself as you found the guy ignoring you. You caught the girl’ attention however, before she averted it to the locked door in front of them. You ran up to them; ready to run out once she opened the door.

“I knew you’d be traveling as a pair, well-trio, now it seems.”

The girl quickly put herself in front of, who you’re now assuming to either be her brother or boyfriend, “Let’s see your hands. Especially you, Starkov. It’s time to turn you in.”

The people who had stands blocked your path, chatter breaking out between them.

The girl, Starkov, pulled back for a second.

This is really how I die, huh. Executed because I stole clothes. so dramatic. Well I guess it’s karma for what happened to-. To Elijah.

You closed your eyes, accepting your fate. But nothing happened, no hands were put on you. You opened your eyes to find the people who you thought were against you, facing towards the guards.

A women from the crowd ran up to you three, they unlocked the door but before opening it, faced Starkov. “Adawesi. Sun summoner.”

Your jaw dropped, sun summoner?

The women opened the door allowing the three of you to finally escape.

“Thanks for the help back there. I’m Mal.”

“No problem,” you said with a smile, “My name is Y/N,” since he didn’t give you a last name you felt no need to say yours.

“And I’m Alina Starkov,” said the sun summoner.

Sun summoner. The Fold time era. The time where your family line was the most educated on their own power…maybe you could figure out what happened to your power, and how to get it back. If you could.

The conversation died out as the three of you focused on running further away, and as the memories of you and Elijah running through the forest play through your head.

#nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov fanfic #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #nikolal lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov imagines #nikolai x you #grishaverse #shadow and bone x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai lantsov x grisha reader #shadow and bone fanfic #nikolai x y/n

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criminalamnesia · 1 year

Text

This is me trying

summary: the last time you saw Nikolai, he told you he never wanted to see you again. now, you’re standing outside his door.

warnings: angst, brief mentions of torture (not explicit), reader is manipulated by the darkling, tidemaker!reader, not proofread, gender neutral reader

author’s note: me? writing more Nikolai while listening to Taylor swift? it’s more likely than you think. this one was inspired by “this is me trying.” listen to it while reading for the full experience :))

The last time you had seen Nikolai, he had told you he never wanted to see you again.

Now, here you are, standing in front of the door to his quarters. You would laugh if you weren’t so terrified of how he was going to react.

Would he still be mad? Would he scream at you, tell at you to get out? No, you thought. He wouldn’t do that.

But maybe time had changed him. He had still been a wild prince when you had last seen him– taking careless risks and throwing himself to the front of every battle. He had inspired you to be better– and you had been, for a time, but you weren’t Nikolai.

You did not have his heart. You did not have his resilience or kindness or grace. You were a burnt-out grisha who had abandoned her post. You were an outcast, a deserter, a failure.

Would he see that?

You inhaled deeply, your fist raised to knock. It hovered above the white wood of the door, shaking slightly. You shut your eyes tightly, willing yourself to knock. Your fist did not move.

“What are you doing?”

The sound of Nikolai’s voice had startled you, causing the bubble of water you’d been manipulating to pop. You groaned as it fell in droplets back into the lake.

“Saints, Nikolai, when did you get so quiet?” You huffed, lowering your outstretched hands and turning around to face him.

He was still in his First Army attire. He must’ve just gotten back from whatever front he’d been at this time– probably the northern. The Fjerdans had been causing problems lately.

“I was quite loud, actually. Maybe you were just too focused on your bubble.” He grinned, opening his arms to you. You rolled your eyes, stepping forward and into his embrace.

He wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tightly. You gave a breathless laugh at his strength.

“I’m happy to see you too, Nik. But you’re going to squeeze me to death–” you said, earning a laugh from him before he mercifully dropped his arms.

You stepped back, giving him a wide smile. He smiled in return, looking you up and down. “New Kefta?” He questioned.

You nodded, subconsciously tugging at one of your sleeves. “The Fabrikators have been trying to incorporate stronger material into the Keftas to make them more protective. Guess I’m lucky they’re doing it now,” you gave a small laugh, but it wasn’t joyful.

Nikolai frowned, his eyebrows raising in confusion. “What do you mean?”

You inhaled, glancing at his face before looking down to your hands. Your hands, which held so much power. Your hands, that would soon be stained with blood.

“The General is sending some of the Second Army up to the northern front. The Fjerdan witch hunters have been abducting the grisha stationed there. He wants us to go put an end to it.”

Nikolai slowly shook his head. “That doesn’t make sense. I was just up there– we didn’t hear about any of that.”

“This is a grisha matter, Nik. The General thought it best for it to stay within the Little Palace. I shouldn’t even be telling you.”

“So he’s sending you up there?” Nikolai scoffed. “To what, be abducted like the rest? He should be sending his heartrenders–”

“Nikolai, this may be hard for you to hear, but I’m not who I was when you left. You’ve been gone for months. My abilities have grown– the General is impressed with my skills. This is a chance to show him he wasn’t wrong in showing me favor.”

“So, what, you’re one of his henchmen now? You know what happens to the grisha he ‘favors’–”

“I don’t want to talk about this any more, Nikolai.” You interrupted, holding up a hand. You knew he was right. You knew about Genya. About Zoya. About all the other grisha the Darkling took a shining too. But the Darkling’s favor came with better training, higher status. It made you stronger.

You knew you had to tread carefully, but you were tired of watching Nikolai ride off to battle and doing nothing about it. Now, you could help your prince and your country with your powers, and if Nikolai didn’t understand that, then so be it.

Before he could speak again, you continued. “I’m supposed to be at the stables now, anyway. We’re leaving soon. I don’t know when I’ll be back,” you admitted, meeting Nikolai’s gaze. “We can talk about it when I return.”

He swallowed his protests and nodded. “Good luck, then.”

You could hear movement behind the heavy wooden doors. Even at this late hour, Nikolai was still awake. It didn’t surprise you– he had always been a night owl, even when you were children.

You used to sneak away from the Little Palace in the middle of the night and meet Nikolai wherever you could. The gardens, the kitchens, the lake. The pair of you would always make it a challenge to see who could stay up longer, wanting to spend as much time together as you could before sleep took you. Nikolai always won.

You took another deep breath. You had foolishly hoped that he would be asleep– even though you knew he wouldn’t be– so you could have an excuse as to why you didn’t come to see him.

You knew he had to know you were here. Someone had to have told him– probably one of the heartrender twins. They had been keeping a watchful eye on you since you had arrived, and you couldn’t quite blame them.

Perhaps Alina had told him. Even though there was no way she could know your past with Nikolai, maybe she had mentioned who she was traveling with to him. You knew he couldn’t forget you, wouldn’t forget you– just like you with him.

You returned from the northern border a month later, and Nikolai barely recognized you.

You were different– and that, he understood. Battle changed even the best of people. But what happened to you, whatever it was, had made you someone different. Someone colder, darker.

He had heard whispers of what had happened to you up there. You refused to talk to him about it– when you talked to him at all. It was hard to get a word in with you seeing as you were constantly training, or right under the Darkling’s nose.

What you had done, what you had seen, Nikolai couldn’t imagine. The servants that went between the Little and Grand Palaces whispered. They said only about half of the grisha sent to the front came back, you amongst them. They said unspeakable things had happened there– the witch hunters had tortured your fellow grisha– even you.

They said you had drained the life from the men that did that to you and the other grisha, leaving them a deflated heap on the snowy ground– and even when they begged for mercy, you did not stop.

You continued to be sent out after that. The Darkling sent you wherever he could– the border of Shu-Han, on an expedition to Ketterdam, right into Fjerda to rescue taken grisha. Each time you returned, you lost more of yourself. You spoke less to Nikolai.

He was worried, and who wouldn’t be? His best friend had become someone– something unrecognizable. He finally cornered you one day before he was to leave on a journey to Kerch. Little did his family know that he was actually going to begin another escapade as Sturmhond.

“You need to come with me,” he had told you, one of his hands reaching forward to grasp yours. The pair of you were hidden away in the cluster of trees by the lake. You were supposed to be leaving soon for another assignment. Nikolai should’ve already been gone, but he couldn’t leave without seeing you.

You glanced down at his hands on yours. You looked back up at him, his expression pleading as his eyes all but begged you. You only shook your head.

“The General needs me. I’m leaving for Ketterdam in the morning.” You said, and Nikolai shook his head.

“Please, listen to me. The General is destroying you– I’ve heard the stories. You’re someone your younger self would’ve been terrified of,” he frowned, squeezing your hands.

“I’m stronger,” you replied. “And i’m fulfilling my purpose– just as you did. You went off with the First Army, and now I’m doing the same with the Second. I’m fighting for Ravka– for grisha– and I’m someone the General trusts. He isn’t destroying me, Nikolai. I won’t let him.”

“He has blinded you. He has made you powerful, yes, but he’s made you cold. Dark. Remember when we used to meet in the garden at night? When we talked about everything. When it was just us.” He said, and you nodded. “You told me once that you didn’t want to be another one of his pawns. That you would never let yourself fall for his honeyed words.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you pulled your hands from Nikolai’s grasp. “And I’ve kept my word. I haven’t,” you said through your teeth, almost as if you were fighting to convince yourself you were right.

“You have. He’s put you on a pedestal, made you someone you never should’ve become. He’s a monster, and he’s making–”

You gave a humorless laugh, cutting him off. “He’s making me a monster? Is he?” You said, crossing your arms. “He’s given me what I need to do what I need to do. If that makes me a monster, so be it.”

“And those witch hunters you killed, what you did to them– that wasn’t monstrous?”

“That was deserved,” you said. Nikolai took a step back.

“You know that it wasn’t. You’re not that kind of person.”

“You don’t know what they do,” you spat, arms falling to your sides, fists clenched in anger. “You didn’t see what I saw. You played Prince in the first army, when the worst thing that happens is a shot to the shoulder. I watched them,” your voice wavered slightly. “I watched them burn my friends alive. Feed them to their wolves. All of my friends– their screams are etched into my memory. Those Fjerdans deserved worse than what I did,” you spat. “And I’d do it over and over again. And if you can’t understand that, then you need to leave, Nikolai.”

“I’ve seen horrors, too. It’s not a contest,” he spoke, his brows furrowed. “But I didn’t let it do to me what it’s done to you.”

“No, of course not.” You said. “The second son, forever trying to prove he’s not just a bastard.”

You instantly regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth, but it was too late to take them back. Nikolai gave a short nod, his hands moving to straighten his shirt.

“This time, when you leave,” he said, his gaze boring into you. “Don’t let me see you again if you come back.”

More movement could be heard behind the door. You felt tears welling up in your eyes as you dropped your fist. You couldn’t face him. It had been a few years, but you were sure he remembered your last conversation all to well. He wouldn’t want to see you.

Even though you had spent every day since deserting the Second Army regretting your last words to him, regretting what you had become, wishing you could see Nikolai again, you were still scared to knock.

You had been awful, and he had been right. The Darkling had manipulated you, just like he had with Genya. With Zoya. With Alina. You just another girl who fell for his manipulation and his lies– who allowed him to make you into something you hated. He had turned a blind eye at your suffering. He used your powers for his own agenda. He had lied, had abused you– and you had ruined the best thing you had had because of his influence.

You didn’t know if Nikolai was aware that when you left for Ketterdam, you never came back to Ravka. You had deserted the Second Army after that assignment, after seeing things you would never be able to wipe from your memory.

And while you were running from place to place, hiding from Kerch slavers or Shu-Han experimenters or Fjerdan witch hunters, you realized that Nikolai was right. Your powers had gone from a comfort to a reminder of the terrible things you had done. You were no longer the General’s star pupil, no longer that naive little tidemaker that snuck away in the middle of the night to watch the stars with the Prince.

You were tired, and in the midst of trying to piece yourself back together from everything you had suffered over the years, you had been roped into helping the Sun Summoner. Perhaps you had agreed to help her to atone– to try and forgive yourself. To begin righting your wrongs.

And now you were standing in the Grand Palace, a place you’d never thought you’d see again– standing outside of your once-friend’s quarters.

“Saints,” you whispered to yourself, shaking your head to try and disperse the anxious thoughts crowding it. “Why is this harder than battle?”

You raised your hand again, and finally, you knocked.

Nothing. You exhaled a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. Nikolai must’ve gone to sleep–

The doors creaked opened to reveal the prince, his blond hair tousled– probably from running his hands through it as he thought (it was a nervous tick of his)– and his eyes tired.

You dropped your hand to your side as Nikolai looked you up and down.

“You’re alive,” he breathed, his eyes meeting yours. You gave a small nod.

Maybe no one told him of your arrival, after all.

“Saints,” he gave a small chuckle, stepping into the hallway. “You’re alive!”

He engulfed you in a hug, his arms squeezing you like they had so many times in the past.

“Hey, Nik,” you breathed, a small smile creeping onto your lips.

“I missed you, too.”

And those words held more weight than he would ever know.

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moonstruck-poet · 1 year

Text

Love Story

Pairing - Nikolai Lantsov x fem!reader, Nikolai Lantsov x wife!reader

Summary - The story of your marriage based on the song Love Story.

Warnings - angst

And as my other song based fics, this one is also quite long. So brace yourself and I hope it doesn't get boring at any point-

And please do send requests for any other Grishaverse characters.

We were both young when I first saw you, I close my eyes and the flashback starts I'm standing there. On a balcony in summer air.

You were growing agitated every passing second, the reason being that someone was supposed to reach the palace an hour ago, and had failed to do so.

Sitting on the comfortable seat in one of the balconies was not a tedious task, but you hated that you quite literally had nothing to do except wait.

A groan was heard as you made up your mind to go inside, not bothering to wait any longer and of course that's when the said person decided to enter the gates.

You rolled your eyes at his impeccable timing though a smile did break through that serious exterior as your eyes scanned your best friend coming closer.

Nikolai Lantsov was in itself the definition of beauty, you thought to yourself. He looked handsome in that military coat that was buttoned right up to his chin. His golden blond hair appearing windswept but still somehow upholding the royalty persona.

His eyes landed on you as soon as you were within sight and you fell victim to his boyish smile that radiated excitement and his hazel eyes that shone alive with adventure.

And instantly you were transported back to a certain memory that seemed too common now, but it was still the one that made your heart swell with adoration.

It was that of a young Nikolai, no older than ten years of age as he sprinted around the castle in search of his best friend. As the moment when he found her, his lips had twitched to mirror the smile he held now. A smile that you display to show your adoration towards the person.

At that time he simply wanted to show her the fireflies that were swarming a large tree in the garden, but it was nonetheless filled with the same energy and warmth.

"Missed me, moya tsaritsa?" His playful words brought you back to the present. He had insisted on calling you a queen even though you were still a princess for as long ad you could remember.

And so you replied with a charming grin, "Keep dreaming, moi tsar".

===============================

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns. See you make your way through the crowd and say hello. Little did I know.

When someone from the royal family comes back successful from a mission of any sorts, it's almost tradition to throw a small party. This time, Ravka's younger prince had returned from a dangerous expedition that had also earned him a bullet being wedged in his arm.

And naturally the king, as boastful as he was did indeed organize a lavish gathering of their family and alliances. Your family was of course the first one to receive an invitation.

The news of Nikolai's achievement had reached you through the man himself and to say you were proud would be an understatement. After fretting over his injury and scolding him for almost dying, you had laughed at his jokes and hugged him tight.

Standing in front of the large mirror you admired yourself, being quite startled by your own beauty. It seemed as if you had never looked this good before.

You chuckled at your own silly thoughts and placed the family heirloom, a beautiful sapphire necklace around your neck, taking one last look before leaving.

Nikolai on the other hand wanted to escape this hell hole desperately. He couldn't stand another minute of people widening their eyes and pointing at him, as though they had never heard of a prince getting shot before.

But he held on just for that one person, who was again fashionably late.

Speak of the devil and she shall appear, he thought after spotting your father walking through the grand doors.

His heart had suddenly took up its pace the minute he laid his eyes on you, making him strangely breathless. His gaze was focused as he watched you walking with every bit of elegance, though he knew that you tripped over literal air.

He softly smiled at a memory and felt his breath hitch as you made eye contact. His hazel irises meeting your sparkling ones and it felt like time had come to a halt.

However he didn't dwell too much on the unfamiliar feeling and unconsciously smoothed his hair and started walking closer to greet your parents.

"Ah there he is, the man of the evening," your father said brightly and shook his hand.

Nikolai smiled back pleasantly and engaged in small talks before finally giving you his undivided attention.

"Quite the spectacle you are," you grinned and took a step forward, subtly scanning him from head to toe.

"Of course I am, I'm the future king for Saint's sake!" He laughed and leaned in without even realizing what he was doing. He just felt that you were too far away and gave in to his mind's demands to be closer.

"You feeling alright now? The wound isn't troubling you, is it?"

"Oh not you too!" He groaned and ran his fingers through his styled hair, ruffling it now. "It's nothing much, I'm fine. I've already had fifty people asking me and you're the latest".

"I worry about you, idiot".

"You don't have to," he replied softly. "I'm always gonna be alright," he winked cheekily.

"You'll definitely survive all those battles but I'm sure your overblown ego is gonna get you killed someday".

"Oof," he shut his eyes tightly and brought his hand towards his heart. "You're hurting me".

"That's the entire point, love".

===============================

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles and my Daddy said stay away from Juliet. And I was crying on the staircase, begging you please don't go.

"Coming Father," you called out and placed the book on the bed before rushing down the stairs.

"Good you're here," he smiled at you and gestured for you to take a seat. "I've got a few marriage proposals from different princes, take a look at them".

"You what?" The question slipped past, your voice coated woth disbelief. "I told you I didn't want to get married so soon".

"Oh we're not getting you swept away the next day," he said impatiently. "Just have a look at these pictures and shortlist the ones that you like".

You breathed in deeply, your heart erratic as you twisted the small heart-shaped necklace, given to you by the same person who had fully occupied your mind at the present.

Nikolai.

Your feelings were emerging once again and you buried them deeply, pushing down so you could atleast look at the photos your father had brought. Maybe he would be one of the choices?

But alas, he wasn't.

Most of the faces were strange, never seen before and only heard of, while some were friendly. You tried to stop the small amoumt of disgust in your throat. Some of these gentlemen were like brothers, almost family.

You were involuntarily shaking your head after keeping the last one down and your father looked in your direction. "No?"

"No," you responded, swallowing harshly.

"Okay no worries, I'll get some more".

You smiled tightly and hastily went to your bedroom. You had to speak with Nikolai, it had been over two years since you held obvious affection for the handsome prince. You had to act on it. There was no other choice.

But how could you? Knowing that there was always a huge chance of being rejected. You being a princess was a plus point, but what guarantee did you have that his parents would accept you even through your good relation.

You could speak with your father, but what if he miraculously agreed and the Lantsovs rejected later on. It would be shameful.

Nikolai should know about this, about your likes towards him, you muttered to yourself and a sudden gust of bravery or stupidity swept ove you.

You decided to talk to your father first, wanting to convince him before facing the other side. And taking a deep breath, you followed your instinct.

The talk in itself was okay, your father was a man who listened to the other's side fully before coming to a conclusion and you appreciated that. But just after the conversation was over from your side, he dropped the missile that turned your world upside down.

It felt as though the skies had opened up in a terrible downpour and lightning was crashing all around.

"He wh- what?" Yoir voice trembled, unable to believe his answer.

"I'm only telling you the truth, my dear. He's going to leave the palace, go somewhere else for a long time. He claims it'll help him understand the country better".

"But- He didn't tell me... He didn't say anything at all".

But your father just gave you a look of sympathy, "He doesn't care about anyone else except for himself, that one".

"I'm going there- I need to see him," you grabbed your coat from the stand kept in the corner, already rushing out as your father called you.

"I'll be fine!" You ripped your arm from his grip. "Please," you whispered. "Let me go".

He sighed, looking at you before releasing your hand, "Go safely. But don't come back to tell me that I didn't tell you otherwise".

It had taken almost twenty minuted to reach the palace and you were glad to have chosen horseback rather than a carriage. As soon as you gave your stallion to the caretaker, your feet were sprinting across the garden to find your idiot of a friend.

"NIKOLAI!" You screamed, frantically turning your head side to side as you searched. "NIKOLAI LANTSOV!"

"Holy Saints calm down, woman. Did you inhale an entire barrel of kvas to yell like that?" The man in question mused.

You didn't speak a work and dragged him by the arm, not attempting to be gentle as you led him into the secluded courtyard.

"What's going on?" He asked, a frown spreading across his face.

"Don't tell me it's true- Please don't tell me it's the truth goddamnmit!"

"What're you saying? Will you just calm down for a moment yeah?"

"Are you leaving the city to wander off to some saints forsaken place or not?" You got straight to the point, stepping closer and narrowing your eyes to detect any lies.

"Oh that," his smile fell as he grimaced. "Yes I am going away for some time".

All of the anger residing inside of you disappeared at his admission, leaving behind a burnt fire and warm ashes, all grey and dull. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I," he began but huffed and looked around. "I knew you wouldn't like the decision. You would've told me it'd be better if I were to remain within the walls, so that I'll have a better chance at the throne. But how will I learn about my country then?"

"You can tour around! Go on expeditions and roam as much as you bloody want to!" You reasoned, voice beginning to shake as you swallowed the lump.

"It wouldn't be the same, lapushka," he murmured and took your hands but you moved them out of his grasp.

"Please don't go," you now whispered, eyes brimming with unshed tears signalling that you were on the verge of crying. Something that he picked on instantly.

"Hey," he said, slightly panicking inside as he cupped your cheeks. "It's only for a few months, love. I'm gonna be back soon".

"You don't understand, Nik," you stepped away from his touch and his hands fell down hopelessly.

His eyebrows furrowed, "Then help me to".

You exhaled, a lonely tear slipping your holds at last, "My father wants me to get married. And he's looking for possible suitors".

===============================

And I said, Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone, I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run. You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess, it's a love story baby just say yes.

"You're going to get married?" He asked, shocked to the core. His heart was screaming for him to cancel all his arrangements and talk to her father himself.

"Yes," you gave him a small, hollow answer.

"No that's- that can't be-"

"-Possible?" You cut him off and he looked at you blankly. "Why not? I'm a princess and have reached the age. I could've gotten married sooner if it wasn't for my opposition".

He clenched his jaw and his gaze hardened, he wad conflicted and rightfully so.

On one hand he wanted to leave the palace just so he could actually do some work for the benefits of Ravka and on the other he wanted nothing more than to throw every plan down the drain and ask for your hand in marriage.

It was a tough battle between his mind and his heart. And at the end, he chose his reasoning, leaving behind his emotions.

"I'm sorry," he said, almost flinching at the way your eyes seemed to shatter in front of him. He would never forget the way they lost their sparkle, the way your very soul deflated, all because of him.

"No," you shook you head. "Please just stay".

"I can't, I'm truly sorry. But I can't, I can't stay here with you".

Your tears had dried up, the emotions becoming cold as you appeared distant, "Then take me with you".

His eyes widened, "Darling listen to me, please. You honestly think that I'd ever allow you to throw away your life like that?"

"Then why give up yours?"

"I'm replaceable," he smiled sadly. "Whereas you are not. You're a princess, you should be here with your family and your people".

"Don't you think that applies to you as well?"

"Tell me honestly, have I ever gotten any sort of remarkable work done in the courts during all these years? I haven't," he answered before you even opened your mouth. "The only way I'll be able to help is by being outside, in the fields".

"Let me come with you," you said with a fierce glint in your eyes. You could tell that this battle was hanging by a thread and you were going to lose.

"I can't do that, you know as well as I do. Your family would never allow it".

"I'll fight them".

He gave a hollow chuckle, "Why? Why're you so intent on going against your family's expectations to just come with me?"

You didn't even have a second to think before the words came bursting out, they were held it for too long and were bound to come spilling some day. "Because you have bewitched me, body and soul!"

He stared, rooted to the spot as he waited for those specific words.

"And I l- I lo- I love you," you managed, gasping a little as though breathless. "Most ardently".

"You do?" He asked, not at all sounding like his usual confident self, instead he seemed conscious and insecure.

"Of course I do, Nik," you laughed softly despite yourself and pressed your palms to his chest, hearing his heart thumping.

A look of pain flashed across his face that went unnoticed by you. He wanted so badly to kiss you senseless then and there, to tell her that he loves her too, that he adores her.

"I love you too," he admitted and his eyes glazed over, knowing that he had most probably given you a huge sense of hope and he hated himself for it. "But I'm so sorry, love. I can't take you with me".

Your heart had swelled for a fraction of second before returning back to being miserable. He held feelings for you too, it felt great to hear him say that. Then why on earth were your insides slowly but surely shattering one by one.

You gave up, not wanting to seem overly desperate though you had possibly crossed that already. You just wanted a yes, a simple three letter word that suddenly looked as if it carried all if the complexities of life.

The one thing you were glad about was that he hadn't made a move to kiss you.

What else was there to say? Absolutely nothing, nothing at all.

"Have a safe journey, Nikolai," you gave him a tight-lipped smile, pursing your lips to prevent another round of fresh tears as you turned around, accpeting your wait.

But he took hold of your hand, slowly walking closer till his chest brushed your back and made you face him. His palm went towards your right cheek as you leaned into his warm touch, "I'll come back. I'll come back for you, I promise".

You didn't say anything yet somehow he understood the unspoken question.

But would it be enough?

I love you so much," he cupped both of your cheeks and you saw the agony on his face. He wanted to kiss you deeply but was holding back, and you were glad.

You couldn't bring yourself to answer, as if someone had shut your vocal chords. But one look at the slow tears flowing down his face made you sigh loudly as you threw yourself in his arms.

"I love you too".

===============================

So I sneak out to the garden to see you. We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew, so close your eyes. Escape this town for a little while. 'Cause you were Romeo I was a scarlet letter and my Daddy said stay away from Juliet. But you were everything to me, I was begging you please don't go.

You couldn't contain your excitement, as could be observed from the slight bounce in your steps as you neared the spot that Nikolai had mentioned in his letter.

Surprisingly enough, your gentleman was already present making you raise your eyebrows. "You must've been punctual for the first time in your life, am I right?"

He turned around swiftly, a huge smile stretching his lips as he hungrily took you in. His gaze swept over you, going from your beautiful eyes, trailing down and lingering in your lips and going downwards.

It had been four months, and he seemed a tad bit older. A faint stubble dusting his face as he stepped closer with a smirk.

"Missed me, moya tsaritsa?" He laughed, arms being raised to catch you as though it was second nature for him.

"Keep dreaming, moi tsar," you chuckled close to his ears and then buried your head in his neck.

A deep sigh left his lungs as you two swayed on the spot before pulling back, not realizing the amount of tension present until the very last second.

Your breath hitched as his fanned yours, both set of eyes moving towards each other's lips, staring at the spot. And simultaneously they flitted back to look at the other, pausing for a second before leaning closer.

Absolute perfection, was all that could describe your kiss. It started of soft, as you both tested the waters and then found a rhythm unique to yourselves.

He stole another kiss before pulling away, looking quite dazed, "Saints that was, everything I dreamt of".

It was your time to smirk teasingly now, "You dreamt about me, Nik?"

"You have no idea just how much, darling".

A blush was quick to settle on your cheeks and you looked away, biting your lip to prevent a chuckle.

"No don't stop yourself, I wish to hear every single laughter of yours. These past months seemed like hell without you. I almost felt as though I'm bound to go insane without your jokes and annoying humour".

You grinned cheekily which later softened as your thumb caressed his cheek, "I felt the same. I honestly have no idea how I managed to spend all these days without you".

He simply smiled and tugged you so that your head would rest on his shoulder and you laughed internally at the hopeless romantic.

"How's everything at home?" He asked, leaning his head against yours.

Your body stiffened and he felt it almost immediately, "It's... A little tense I can say".

"Why? What's wrong?" He asked, eyes searching yours frantically. "Is it about the marriage thing again?"

"Partly yes, but they're also a little angry at you. They don't like us being in contact with each other. Father says you're giving me false hopes and I'll have my heart broken in the end".

He suddenly seemed alarmed and turned his entire body towards you, making sure you understand the seriousness in his words. "Okay first of all, there's no end in us. You and me, we're destined to be together, alright? And secondly, no way in hell am I going to be stupid enough to let go of one of the best things to happen in my life. I adore you too much for that ".

"I know," you said with equal sincerity. "And that's one of the reasons why my silly little heart opened its closed chambers for you that easily".

"It goes both ways, my love".

And then and there, it felt like you were going through a cardiac arrest.

My love.

All these years were spent with you two throwing terms of endearment at each other to a point where it became a habit. But he had only referred to you as his because of one particular nickname, and that was completely casual, almost an inside joke.

But this, it seemed way more intimate. And you were totally loving it.

===============================

And I said, Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone, I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run. You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess, it's a love story baby just say yes. Romeo save me they're trying to tell me how to feel, this love is difficult, but it's real. Don't be afraid we'll make it out of this mess, it's a love story baby just say yes.

"Father, I think we've been through this enough times now".

"And I think that it's now time to go over once more," he said, getting steadily angry.

"What is there to speak? You already know everything that's going on," you explained, hands wringing out helplessly.

"I've held on for a long, long time now. It has been 2 years for Saint's sake! There's no news of that boy, rumour has it that he's a pirate- A pirate?! And he's made no move whatsoever to contact you and I'm supposed to entertain the thought of your marriage? I don't think settling down has even crossed his mind".

"I understand," you tried to coax the fire in his eyes. "But you must also believe the fact that he loves me".

"And what has he done to prove this love?" He questioned sharply.

"I-" You didn't have an answer. Nikolai had made his affections quite clear through his actions, his words and his touches. But how could you possibly explain that when nobody was aware of you sneaking out to meet him.

"You are going to finalise a suitor, I'll have a complete list ready in three days," he ended the discussion with a finality in his tone.

"Father-"

"I have nothing more to say. Enough is enough now".

"Just- Just give him some time, please".

"Time? He had two years! According to me that seems more than enough already!"

"Two months?" You tried once again.

"No".

"One month?"

He raised his eyebrow, surprised and also unconvinced at the same time. "You think that someone who hasn't made an appearance in two years... Would suddenly pop up in thirty days?"

"Give him a chance," you said firmly now, despite the uncertainty crawling through you.

"Fine. You have a month, and if he doesn't show his face then I'm sorry to tell you, you're going to married off immediately".

"I agree," you nodded slowly and he left the room without further talks.

You heaved a breath, hands going to hold your head in agony. You yourself had no idea whether he would actually listen to you and come. But it was worth a try.

He was worth a try.

And what's the worst thing that could happen anways? He won't show up and you'd be forced to marry someone, atleast that someone would be of your choice, you thought bitterly.

You decided to sent him a letter filled with every bit of sentiment just so he could understand the severity of the situation. And you knew he would as he cared about you.

Nik,

I hope whatever you're doing out there is going on fine and you're safe and breathing. I wouldn't put it past you to be laughing madly once second and being shot by the next.

Things are becoming steadily interesting here, and also quite concerning. This is probably the first time in my entire life that I've felt such an amount of panic seize control of my mind.

I wish you were here, love. Would've really appreciated the comfort. But well, if you actually were here, it would be a whole lot different too.

I don't know what else to say, so I'm getting straight to the point. My father has now reached his limits, or even crossed them. He refuses to listen to me and wants to get me engaged in two months. I can't even blame him anymore, Nikolai. It has been two years since you left, and you're losing the only popularity that was there.

He has given you a month's time though, at my insistence. And this is most definitely the last time that he'll listen to any of my requests. You have a month, Nik, a month to get here and ask for my hand. And I'm writing to you to make sure that you will actually come and not make me a fool, though I know you like to laugh at me every once in a while.

You're coming home, you are coming back to me. You have to, or you're going to lose me forever. Be quick, my love. Please. I'm waiting here for you and now it has started to hurt me. My heart's paining from your absence, it craves the love and affection it so deserves. And you are the only one to ever fulfil that.

Consider this my last and final letter to you, Nikolai Lantsov. I don't think I'll be writing to you again. Saints I have absolutely no idea whether you still love me or not. I know deep inside that you do, you would always will. But maybe you found someone there? Someone who's taken more of your heart than I ever could. I don't know.

And now I feel even more conflicted. I think love is always worth making sacrifices for. But I'm not sure whether ours is still the same as it was... Your last letter to me was a year ago, my love. A lot can happen in that given time.

Sending my best wishes to you and whoever you work with. Tell them that I understand how difficult it is to do any type of job with you. You're a stubborn asshole nearly half of the time. And Nik, I hope you're happy.

Love,

Me.

===============================

And I got tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever coming around. My faith in you was fading, when I met you on the outskirts of town. And I said, Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone, I keep waiting for you but you never come.

What you were feeling couldn't actually be described, even by yourself. What did you even feel? Anger? Pain? Betrayal? Heartbreak? You weren't sure.

But it was making you really short-tempered and miserable the past two weeks. The month was soon ending, with only five days to go and your emotions were at their peak, scattering all around the place as you could slowly sense your heart breaking down into tiny pieces.

You had already chosen your soon to be husband as well. He was a friend, not a very close one but a familiar face nonetheless. Better than being tied to to a stranger.

And your family was starting to make all the arrangements too, them being sure that no way was Nikolai going to come back. What will only five days to go, they were a hundred percent sure, and you, you felt your belief in him wavering.

You sighed, slowly coming to terms with your destiny. Maybe it was not him, but you who was the hopeless romantic and fool all this time. You couldn't help but feel your faith melting away with every passing second.

And you didn't like that one bit. Since all the years you had known him, he hadn't given you a single reason to suggest that he would ever break your trust. Always keeping his every promise. Until now.

You had imagined that you were going to find your prince charming and be swept off your feet while being so in love. The prince part was bound to happen, but you weren't sure about 'charming'.

It would be unfair on your husband, though you had chosen him, your heart had already belonged to someone else.

It was tough to love someone, and even more difficult being in love with someone who wasn't coming back. You had waited, going against your families expectations and constantly earning yourself disappointed looks from each one of them.

But he let you down. The one man you thought would never even think of hurting you, now had you shattered.

You rested your head on your knees and hugged them while staring far away blankly, your face an open book to your soul.

And then the universe decided to bring in another huge twist that will completely alter your life in the form of something- or rather someone coming towards you.

You looked up alarmed at the sudden sound of hooves and squinted to see in the soft sunlight. When the person was close enough to be recognizable, your mouth hung open in utter shock and disbelief.

Nikolai Lantsov had arrived, you thought with wide eyes. And he was here to wreak havoc.

===============================

Is this in my head I dunno what to think. He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said, marry me Juliet you'd never have to be alone. I love you and that's all I really know. I talked to your Dad go pick out a white dress it's a love story baby just say, yes.

You moved a step forward, putting one foot after the other like you were in a trance, not conscious of your actions and unable to comprehend the situation.

There he was, your man. Standing feet apart from you.

You pressed your lips tightly to prevent the emotions raining down and blinked to get rid of the tears. "You came," you whispered with glossy eyes.

"You called," he said simply, tilting his head to admire you with tenderness.

Your restraints were surely slipping away as you wanted nothing more than to pull him in the tighest hug ever. But before you could act on it, he stepped back, making you look at him confused.

But then your eyes widened comically and you gaped as he got down on a knee, giving you a wink before opening a black leather box before you and presenting the beautiful ring with a small diamond glittering at the centre.

He knew you didn't like things that were overly fancy so he settled on a silver one with an elegant band encrusted with the hardest element.

Because like the diamond, your love too was subjected to immense pressure and together, you emerged victorious.

"I gave you a lot of trouble, didn't I?" He began his fully improvised speech and looked at you with a particular glint as though you were the one who hung those stars that he so loved.

"That might be an understatement," you joked despite your throat being blocked due to emotions.

"It is," he said genuinely, his statement completely opposite to your earlier humorous one. "And I'm terribly sorry for that, darling. I never in my wildest thoughts intended on hurting you or causing you any amount of pain".

"I know," you smiled comfortingly.

"I never really understood just how dependent I was on you. I never realized your significance in my life until you were about to go away. I-" he swallowed and his face contorted making your insides clench.

"But I'm here now and I'm never going to leave you alone, not again. I'll take you with me if I have to and I promise to be with you, always, for the rest of my life. I hope you give me that privilege by being mine and allowing me to become yours".

I was already yours to begin with. Right from the moment I understood what love was.

But you didn't voice anything, too busy in controlling yourself.

"I reflected on myself the past couple of days and I came to a conclusion. Everything somehow is alaays better with you, and everything has been better since you. I'll never find words that are beautiful enough to describe just what you mean to me, but I'd like to spend my lifetime searching for them".

"I love it when you smile, but I love it even more when I'm the reason for it. Will you let me be that cause? Will you help me in being a better version of myself just so I will be worthy of you? Will you marry me, my love?"

"You had always been worthy," you replied and couldn't help it as a fresh round of tears did fall down your cheeks as that three letter word came tumbling through your lips. The one that you had asked him before but he had denied and now he was the one to question, "Yes, yes, of course yes".

There was a sudden, loud burst of cheers and applause and you turned to see your family standing there, everybody having a huge grin on their faces as they watched Nikolai slip the ring on your finger.

"I love you, my princess," he pulled you closer by the waist and touched his forehead to yours.

"I love you, my heart," you smiled back and sealed the deal with a passionate kiss.

===============================

'Cause we were both young, when I first saw, you.

The day had finally come. After numerous struggles, fights and battles it had now arrived. It was Nikolai Lantsov's coronation.

The palace was in a state of frenzy. All the staff moving here and there to ensure that all the arrangements were fulfilled. The decorations done in the castle took its grandeur to another level. All the gifts brought in by other kings and royals showed the wealth and love received by Ravka.

You too had finished the touch ups on your face done by Genya Safin and were currently moving towards your bedroom in search of your husband. You opened the door and leaned against the doorframe with your arms crossed, taking in the sight.

The soon-to-be king was standing in front of his full sized mirror, a frustrated look on his face as he adjusted his clothes and hair every now and then, seemingly unhappy.

"What's the matter?" You asked and walked to stand beside him.

"How do I look?" The pure innocence in his question made you cackle hysterically while he just stared unimpressed.

"Sorry sorry," you grinned and he turned to give you his full attention, just now taking you in as he let his eyes wander.

"Oh for the love of Saints," he whispered and snaked his arm around your waist, pulling your body flush against his. You looked majestic, he thought in awe. His mouth hung open slightly and a faint blush dusted his cheeks.

"You look great too," you replied and your hands went around his neck. "Quite handsome".

He shook his head, "The glow that you carry with you is just so splendid that even the moon is nothing but a shadow in your light".

It was your turn to turn scarlet and you buried your face in his neck, feeling him chuckle as he pressed a kiss to your hair.

"Thank you," he said. "I don't really say it that much but I'm grateful for all the times you solved my problems and took vare of my worries again and again".

"For you, a thousand times over".

You had underestimated just how long the ceremony would be. You had been waiting impatiently and finally thr crown was placed on Nikolai's head.

The crowd erupted into cheers as they all celebrated their new king and you joined in enthusiastically, your face shining with pride.

Next it was your turn and you closed your eyes, feeling him intertwining his fingers with yours when the crown of the queen adorned you. The burden was already felt as though the citizens had decided to drop their worries on your shoulders and you vowed to be worthy of their trust.

"Long live the king! Long live the queen!" The priest said loudly and the people repeated after him with joy.

You two stood next to each other hand in hand and bowed respectfully. Making sure they understand that your actions were nothing but genuine. Hoping that they'd see that they weren't cheering and applausing for wastrels and show offs, but rather for two of the most loyal, brave and just rulers you'd ever come across. They were someome who would not hesitate to lay down their lives it it meant their people would be safe.

As soon as the ceremony was over the celebrations began. And as expected, you two had been pulled apart from each other. The crowds swarming you so they could get a chance to talk to their new royals.

You engaged in all of the conversations fairly well. Chatting, greeting and laughing with the guests while always keeping your smile intact. But after a point it was getting too much. You needed to get away and so you listened to your mind that was screaming for you to sit down.

Your eyes drifted around to land on him as naturally as ever. He was still laughing with the other guests and you couldn't fathom exactly how he managed it.

Your feet hurt and you tried your best to soothe your heels while simultaneously feeling the urge to rip your dress because you were sweating profusely.

Exhaustion lined your face making you sigh and you rested your palm on your cheek while closing your eyes. Hoping to get some amount of peace.

But a sudden poke to your shoulder just seconds later jolted you awake and you narrowed your eyes at the playing grin visible on the culprit's face.

"I was trying to get some sleep".

Nikolai simply smiled and took hold of your hands, pulling you in a standing position and successfully emitting a groan from you. After a moment though you relaxed and allowed your body to be slumped against his. He chuckled softly in your ears and caught you, securely wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you close.

"Missed me, moya tsaritsa?"

"Keep dreaming, moi tsar".

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