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moonstruck-poet · 3 months

Text

The Confrontation

Pairing - Kaz Brekker x reader!

Summary - three times where the Crows find you two in suspicious situations leading them to conspire and the fourth time when they learn the truth.

Warnings - Assault, Harrassment

1. Nina

"You ready?" Nina Zenik questioned, quickly giving the surroundings a scan before pinning her eyes on you. "The minute Kaz joins us, you have to leave".

You exhaled and nodded, trying your best not to wince at the obnoxiously tight corset and trying to breathe properly. "Was this the only available option?"

"Thr most suitable option," she corrected and smirked after looking at you.

"Stop checking me out when I'm literally struggling to breathe, Zenik. Remind me why is it not you instead of me? Saints know you're better at this," you grumbled and shivered as the cold hair brushed against your off shoulder gown.

"Because unfortunately I'm the Heartrender here, aren't I?" She grinned and you glared, understanding that this was quite amusing. "Ah! There's your ticket," she nodded towards Kaz who was stumbling his way towards you, slightly out of breath.

"Here it goes," you sighed, smoothing your outfit. Somehow this simply seemed a much difficult job that gutting someone in the right place. Using a knife was just easier.

Kaz, now much closer gave you a nod, his eyes glinting as he gripped his cane tightly and you understood. You merely smiled softly before shooting Nina a wink and entered the club, your eyes immediately narrowing down on the target.

Your brain was replaying all of the tricks that your dear friend had so graciously shown. You weren't dumb of course, you knew the basics but she had a degree in flirting.

And so you braced yourself and appeared in front of the man, trying to hide a cringe when his gaze instantly swept over your physique shamelessly. A small flame of anger burned internally and you would be sure to use your favorite dagger very soon.

Meanwhile Kaz and Nina were sneakily observing from the window while also keeping an eye on the environment.

"She seems to be getting the required information," Nina exclaimed but her smile soon fell upon seeing the scene. "Oh Saints no," she whispered and Kaz, who had his back to the window whipped around.

His dark, dangerous stare found you with ease and his body tensed at your uncomfortable face that you were trying so desperately to hide.

He saw the way that man pulled you closer with every passing second until you were pressed flat against him, his foul breath staining your bare shoulders as your body shook with contained fury.

His fingers skimmed your skin while his lips brushed against your cheek and all Kaz wanted to do in that moment was to stride inside and take you out of his grasp.

But he was still talking, his lips moved and so did yours. You were still trying to wrangle every little piece of information you could possibly get while also trying to keep yourself safe.

"Kaz," Nina said urgently upon seeing the malicious smile on the stranger's face. "That's enough she needs to come out".

"I can't do anything," he said bitterly. "It'll just give out our position and put everybody in danger and I cannot have that," he finished, hating every part of himself.

"I like you, sweetheart," your target whispered, his face inches away. His breath fanning you, reeking of alcohol. "I wish to see you again. Please?" He asked, his voice manipulative and he dragged his lips from your shoulder to your neck.

"Of course," you murmured back, your tone deadly which he didn't seem to notice. "You'll see me soon. Very soon indeed".

"Perfect," he grinned against your cheek before kissing the skin and you stepped back with a smile, not breaking eye contact until you exited the door.

And immediately your flirty facade shattered and your were consumed by a dark energy as you rounded the corner, your pace increasing with every step.

"Oh Saints," Nina said as soon as you reached the meeting spot. "Are you alright?"

"Of course I am," you teased, a wicked smile but Kaz wasn't fooled, not at all.

He looked at you, trying to pick up every noticeable change and he sae many. The twitch of your eyebrow, the small frown appearing on your lips which was quickly replaced with a grin and the slight shudder of your shoulders.

He didn't think of anything at all as he removed his coat. "Here," he offered, his dark brown eyes burning into yours.

"It's okay, Kaz, I'm alright-"

"-Take it," he said firmly and when you didn't move, he put it over your shoulders and you almost sighed at the warmth. His touch was so gentle, so secure, a constrast to the emotions plaguing you moments before. "Are you okay?" He asked again.

"I want to go home," was all you could reply as you looked longingly at him, hoping that your eyes were enough to convey all of your feelings. "Please".

Kaz nodded, looking down as pain struck his chest. He could handle numerous difficult situations, but when it concerned you, he was always vulnerable.

"I'm sorry," he said lowly, his voice barely heard as he scanned your face, having an intense urge to place his palm on your cheek but the mere thought made him flinch. However he remained rooted to the spot, not backing away because he knew that you needed him at the present, and he wasn't leaving you.

Someone cleared her throat and that was what made him pull away.

"Extremely sorry but we have to move," she said softly and he nodded, his jaw clenching as he gave you one last, tender look before walking away.

The two of you followed and you clutched the coat around you tightly, a small smile threatening to break out on your face as you replayed the interaction with your dearest.

Meanwhile the Grisha was observing her friends quite eagerly, her eyes switching from one to the other. She had her suspicions from the minute she saw Kaz's panic-stricken face, and then the said person lending his coat confirmed it.

She saw his face contorting in sadness upon seeing your highly uneasy figure back at the club, saw the way his fingers fidgeted constantly because he felt helpless. In conclusion, she saw him lose control.

Kaz Brekker never lost control.

She should feel guilty for using her abilities on her boss, but how could she not? When a particular heart was thudding unbelievably as soon as his eyes fell onto someone else's. The beating had only seemed to intensify when he had put his coat around your shoulders.

The trip to the Crow Club was spent in silence. Everyone's mind being occupied by very different thoughts.

"There you are!" Jesper's cheery voice snapped them from their daydream. He slowly jogged over to you, excitement evident on his features. "Want to play a round of cards?"

All you gave him was a small, forced smile. He just looked so happy and you didn't want to be that person, "Let's go then".

"You don't have to," Kaz suddenly spoke making everyone stare in surprise.

"It's fine," you replied but he still gave you that look. The one where his eyes were just a tiny bit wide, eyebrows slightly raised to wordlessly ask if you were sure.

You nodded offering him a twitch of your lips before joining Jesper, Wylan and Inej at the table, helping yourself to some bread.

Nina had of course watched this soundless interaction quite seriously, and now she had some very interesting points that would definitely be shared with the other Crows; minus you two obviously.

"Now this seems fun," she said to herself, smirking at the way Dirtyhands had his eyes glued to you the entire time.

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2. Wylan & Matthias

Having a lazy day at the barrel was something that happened once in a blue moon, because Mr Brekker made sure to always keep everyone on their toes. Today was one of those rarest days that the Crows actually had no job and so naturally they were lazing around in the club.

Jesper and Nina were gossiping, holding a small muffin in their hands as they whispered amongst themselves, probably sharing the headlines of all that had happened in the Barrel.

"You're sure? Our Kaz? Kaz Brekker losing control like that?" Jesper asked, double checking to make sure they were talking about the same person.

"Yes Jesper!" Nina sighed. "His heartbeat seemed to skyrocket the minute his eyes fell on her. I wss actually worried that he might have a cardiac arrest or something.

"Djel help me," Matthias muttered. "She's too good for him to ever say yes".

"Oh come on," Nina insisted, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "They're made for each other!"

"I don't know about that but they do make quite a pair," Inej added, her face screwed up in concentration.

"There's definitely something going on," Wylan whispered, putting on his scheming face as he analysed his thoughts.

Meanwhile Nina was now feeding another round of conversation to her gossip partner who was enjoying it very much indeed.

"No way he went over to the Dime Lions!" Jesper exclaimed mid-bite, his mouth opening as he registered the statement.

"He did indeed Jes," you walked down the stairs interrupting their conversation. "Rumour had it that he was paid handsomely as well".

"Of course he was," the gunslinger snorted before shaking his head.

"Where were you?" Nina asked, her eyebrow raised in question and all four heads turned to hear your answer.

"Kaz's office," you said and sat down on one of the couch, not noticing the small smirks painted on everybody's faces.

"What's he doing in there anyway?" Inej asked, having sharpened her knives and taking yours making you shoot her a highly grateful look.

But before you could reply, the said person called from from above, "Love! Have you seen that Kerch document that I had shown you? Where did you keep it?"

Silence. Complete and utter silence followed his statement as the Crows glanced at each other, their expressions the epitome of flabbergasted.

"Check in your bottom right drawer!" You shouted unaware, standing right below the floor so your voice could be heard better. "I've kept it along with other related files".

The minute you went back to your previous seat, you felt eyes staring at every inch of your face making you suddenly look up. "What the hell?" You asked, being startled at seeing every gaze pinned towards you.

"Did he just-" Jesper began but Wylan elbowed him harshly.

"Nothing," he answered sweetly, ignoring the sharp glare thrown his way. "How about we go visit the marketplace? You said you'd show me some firing powders".

"Yeah let's go," you nodded, putting your gun in the holster and donning a black leather jacket over your shirt. "Anybody need anything? I'm not going to get you fruit loops, Jesper," you narrowed your eyes before the boy could even utter a word.

"But you told me that-"

"But you also happened to have eaten three packets yesterday. So no. Absolutely not".

Inej and Nina snickered at the banter which was surely an everyday occurence. Jesper always being the hopeless little kid and you unintentionally acting like his older sister.

The said boy was looking at you with wide eyes and a small pout and you groaned in exasperation. "Fine! I'll get you some stop looking at me like that!"

"I love you so much," he grinned and shot a wink your way.

"Whom do you love?" Kaz Brekker asked, walking down the stairs and towards him with a raised eyebrow. Everybody fell silent at his impeccable timing to arive during the most unwelcoming moments.

"Her of course!" Nina butted in, pointing towards you before Jesper could reply and Matthiss noticed the way the Demjin's face contorted and tightened.

Kaz shot the Zemeni a small glare, not knowing himself that he was actually doing it before turning to look at you and all of the other crows saw the way his gaze softened considerably.

"Should we leave then?" Wylan broke the silence and tugged at your sleeve and your attention snapped to him.

"Yes yes let's leave," you followed him, almost at the door when Kaz called your name and you halted. "What's wrong? You need anything?" You questioned softly as he walked closer.

"You forgot this," he merely said and handed you a necklace that you had forgotten on his desk. It was only Wylan who actually saw the pendant and his mouth hung open.

You took it from his hands, fingers gently brushing against his gloved ones and he instantly felt a small amount of warmth seep into his very soul.

You lit a spark with only your touch.

You ignited him.

"Thank you," you smiled and quickly clasped it around your neck, tucking it inside your shirt so it would be hidden from privy eyes. "See you later, yeah?"

He nodded, hands tightening on his cane as he watched you leave. He never got round to telling you that he had wanted to spend this day with you and you only. But unfortunately you had plans and so he remained silent. Not wanting to be a hindrance.

He couldn't even remember the last time he had spent some quality time with you. Being too busy finding new deals and searching for missions that he couldn't properly acknowledge the best thing in his life.

When did he last take you out somewhere except for sneaking around to gather valuable information? You loved having hot chocolate late at night, when had he ever bought it for you despite knowing that the drink was your favorite?

You deserved so much better, his mind kept telling him. He couldn't even bring himself to give you the comforting touches that he knew you longed for. You never said a word but he saw it in your eyes. Whenever a plan had gone too complicated and particularly difficult, all you needed was a good embrace. But he could only ever bring himself to hold your hand. Nothing more.

And he hated himself for it. Despised every inch of his self because of his inability to provide for you. It killed him inside.

You were lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. And he was twisted, crooked, wrong but not so broken that he couldn't pull himself together into some semblance of a man for you.

He was so lost in his thoughts that his sharp instincts failed to notice the stares that were currently burning holes in his face. "What?" He snapped and was on his way back to his bedroom when they stopped him.

"Goodness Kaz you actually look sad," Nina concluded, fighting the smirk that was quick to spread on her face.

"I have no reason to be upset," he rolled his eyes and started climbing the stairs slowly, his leg throbbing with slight pain.

"Wylan's right," Matthias said lowly. "The demjin is infatuated".

Wylan on the other hand was busy geeking over the chemicals that were presented in front of him. "How did I never know about this!" He said in delight and you chucklef at the way his eyes lighted up. "These are so much cheaper too".

"Get whatever you want," you squeezed his shoulder and he nearly jumped in excitement. "I'll just quickly go and get something from that shop, yeah?"

He nodded and you crossed the street to enter the clothing shop, smiling to yourself upon seeing beautiful coats lining the walls.

"Can I see some black shirts and vests, please?" You requested the man who nodded and placed numerous boxes on the table. "I'll take these three," you smiled, selecting two dark grey shirts and a gorgeous black vest that you knew would suit your man well.

"Oh hey! Didn't see you coming in".

Wylan simply laughed and examined the clothes that were being folded neatly and transferred in a bag. "For you?"

"Oh no," you shook your head and paid the kruge, it was a little expensive but it's fine. You could give him a gift every now and then. "It's for Kaz".

His eyes widened in surprise just a tiny bit and his lips stretched wide as the two of you exited the store. But then he suddenly grabbed your hand and pulled you towards an artefacts shop.

"How would this look on Jesper?" He said and pointed at a hat which was exactly what the gunslinger preferred.

"Absolutely perfect".

"Hey take a look at this," he directed your attention towards a few bracelets kept neatly in a box, making sure to keep his trained on you to pick up on every little change.

Your hand instinctively flew towards a handmade one woven with black thread. It was quite simple but had an intricate design. You loved it immediately and wasted no time in purchasing the little present.

"Let's go?" You asked, almost forgetting for a moment that you weren't alone. While the boy had his arms crossed and a knowing smile on his face as he followed your lead. Having an intense conversation with himself in his head.

It was almost night when you entered the Slat again and two of the Crows were lounging in the basement itself with the exception of Inej and Nina.

"I'll be back in a few," you whispered to Matthias who nodded and you climbed up thr stairs, eagerly wanting to give Kaz the gifts you had brought.

He waited until the sound of a door closing was heard before looking at Wylan who had a cheeky grin on his face.

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3. Inej & Jesper

"Look at his hand!" Matthias whispered under his breath and nudged Wylan whose eyes shot towards Kaz Brekker. And indeed, a black bracelet was clasped onto his left wrist. Not that noticeable but nowadays nothing could ever escape their sharp stare.

"I've never ever seen him wear anything synonymous to jewellery," Matthias muttered and passed the message to Nina who perked up with a bright grin, as though struck by an inspiration.

"Watch me," was all she said and the the two boys glanced ahead in apprehension as she neared your location and bumped into you quite harshly.

"Saints!" A small shout escaped your lips as you were thrown backwards onto Kaz who was right behind you.

"Goodness I'm so sorry," Nina immediately apologised, not being sorry in the least as she rather scanned the couple's reaction.

Your back was pressed against Kaz's chest while his gloved hand, the one wearing a bracelet was wrapped securely around your waist, holding you against him. You placed your palm on top of his in reassurance, and your heart started taking up its pace.

"You okay?" He murmured in your ear and helped you stand up straight as you nodded; and he shot a deathly glare towards the heartrender, who gave a grin and sashayed her way back to the boys.

"I'm fine, thank you for that," you whispered before returning to the documents that were scattered on the table.

"You saw that?" She joined the duo with an excited expression, her hands flapping in front of her. "He didn't even flinch at her touch! It was almost like-"

"Like he's used to it!" Wylan completed her sentence and she nodded enthusiastically.

"Usually he'll push the person off for even invading his personal space, much less someone actually falling on him," Matthias added and she agreed.

"Ghezen this is going much better than I expected. Fifty kruge that they're already together since the past few months".

"Oh yeah?" Jesper interrupted the conversation with the biggest smirk on his face as he sat down, joined by Inej who was shaking her head with a smile. "Hundred kruge says that they've been married already".

"You do know that you're horrible at betting, don't you?" Matthias asked, raising an eyebrow at the large sum.

"But I think Jes is right on this one," Inej supported him making the said person's grin widen if that was even possible.

"What's making you so sure?" Wylan asked, quite suspiciously.

"Let me ah- tell you a little something I saw," his brown eyes glinted as he recounted the miracle that he and Inej had seen.

Jesper was walking on his usual route that led him back to the Crow Club with the Wraith beside him. They had both finished their parts of the job and had met on their way home.

"You got some intel?" He asked, his eyes scanning the various treats that were covering the shelves of stalls.

"Nothing," she answered with a sigh. "It is the same. He comes in everyday sharp at 7 in the morning and leaves exactly at 5. There has been no change at all".

"I think I'm going insane," he suddenly whispered and stopped dead in his tracks making Inej tense up immediately as she looked around for any threat.

"What's wrong?"

"That- That's Kaz isn't it?" He questioned, unable to believe the words that were on their way through his mouth. "In a- a goddamn flower shop?"

"Don't be ridiculous," she scoffed lightly but her she too froze upon seeing a familiar figure standing merely a few metres away. "Saints that is Kaz!"

"Let's go," he nudged her and she hesitated, not really wanting to pry but curiosity certainly gets the better of everyone. They walked closer silently, hiding behind another store which gave them the perfect view.

And there he was, the bastard of the barrel holding a beautiful, red rose in his bare fingers. Yes, he did not have his gloves on. Something that was noticed by the two.

They saw as he paid the small amount of money and began trodding down the road, his cane held tightly in one hand and the rose was held in the other that was hidden behind his back.

"Breadcrumbs," Jesper smirked at her and she let out a laugh as the two followed their leader, becoming increasingly suspicious. They didn't have to wait for long as the person that they had expected arrived soon enough making the two Crows grin.

"Nina was right after all," Inej muttered as she watched you waving at Kaz to gain his attention and the spying people stepped closer, wanting to hear the conversation that would surely grant them something.

"Hey," they heard you whisper, sounding slightly breathless.

"Hi," Kaz replied and took a tiny step closer so that his shoes were touching yours making you bite your lip. "This is for you," he added and presented the rose, his eyes hungrily scanning yours for every little change that he itched to see.

And you rewarded him with the grin that he oh so loved. When your mouth fell open slightly in surprise before morphing slowly into a gorgeous and breathtaking smile.

"For me?" You asked despite yourself, gently taking the flower from his hand and twirling it in your fingers. "Are you sure?"

A small frown marked his face, "Of course I am. Why do you ask such a thing?"

"Is it not for someone else? Maybe a pretty girl that you're thinking of wooing to help you get whatever information that you need," you teased, your lips pressed together.

"Darling," was all he said. His voice low, deep as he stared intently into your eyes, tilting his head to look even deeper. "There is no one like you," he finished and let a small smile form on his hardened face.

Jesper who had been listening with every ounce of concentration had to slap his palm over his mouth to prevent a squeal from escaping his feeble clutches. It was only for Inej roughly smacking his arm and dragging him away that he managed to not give away their position.

"Hence proved," he concluded his story with his arms extended to the present crowd who were utterly and completely shocked.

"No way that actually happened," Matthias grumbled, muttering to himself while Nina looked like she'd just received all of the available waffles for free.

"I'm a genius," she laughed heartily and chugged down a shot of whiskey in celebration of her matchmaking skills.

"I'm so going to win that bet, Zenik".

"Don't count your pigeons before they're killed, Fahey. We can't be so sure that they're actually married".

"We have to ask them!" Wylan urged, sitting up straight and looking at them for their opinions.

"We will," Nina nodded firmly while the rest appeared unconvinced. "Tomorrow".

"Let's hope that we're not murdered in our beds later that night then," Jesper sighed but he too couldn't contain his excitement.

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4. The Confrontation

"Kaz," Nina said in delight as soon as the man climbed down the last step.

"Never thought I'd live to see the day when you're actually looking happy to see me," he retorted making her roll her eyes.

"We need to talk," Jesper elaborated making him raise an eyebrow as he took in all of his Crows minus you and Inej sitting with their arms crossed and heads held high.

"Does it concern me?"

"Of course it does that's why we're asking!"

"Saints give me the strength," he muttered under his breath before looking at the lot. "Go on then I don't have all day".

That's when Inej entered the scene, dragging you along with her and making you stand next to Kaz. "What's going on?" You questioned, heavily confused and looking around for an answer.

"We need to ask you something," Wylan answered your request.

"I gathered just as much".

"Are you going to ask or not?" Kaz growled in annoyance, his patience running thin.

"We just wanted to know-"

"I've been wanting to ask-"

"We had a feeling that-"

They all began together but not one could complete their sentence until Jesper was the one to blurt it out.

"You're married?"

Kaz and you stood still, dumbstruck before visibly relaxing and you chuckled, "That was quicker than I expected".

"I don't think four years is quick, love," Kaz responded, his lips stretching just the slightest making the crowd explode.

"FOUR YEARS?!"

"YOU TWO ARE ACTUALLY MARRIED!"

"WHEN DID YOU EVEN START DATING?!"

"HOW ON EARTH DID YOU EVEN MANAGE TO PULL HER OUT OF ALL THE PEOPLE??"

"Ask him about it," was all you said and sat down on a chair with a very obvious smile adorning your pleased face. Everybody fell silent at once and you knew you had said the right thing. Nobody sensible would ever dare to question Kaz.

Jesper glanced nervously at him, "Can I atleast see your ring? Just to you know, have some confirmation?"

You laughed and pulled the necklace out from under your shirt, revealing a thin but elegant silver band encrusted with a small diamond at its center.

"K- Kaz?" Wylan asked, or rather pleaded.

To their surprise, he took off the glove of his right hand to reveal a similar ring resting beautifully against his pale fingers.

"Saints I win!" Jesper said in disbelief and stood up straight, slowly turning his head to look at Nina. "GIVE ME MY KRUGE!" And all watched as the girl slowly backed away, probably hatching an escape plan and ran swiftly with him hot on her heels.

"That was something huh?" You grinned and looked at your husband, slowly leaning over to intertwine your fingers with his.

"Quite," he huffed lightly but couldn't stay annoyed for long and alas, he too smiled. Not a particularly big one, rather a small, gentle twitch of his lips. One that was only ever displayed for you.

His eyes held the entire universe as he admired you from the side, looking at you as if you had hung those few stars that formed his constellation.

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Taglist :-

@phoenix666stuff

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #Kaz Brekker x wife!reader #kaz brekker x oc #kaz brekker fanfiction #six of crows #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #nina zenik #kaz x reader #husband! kaz brekker #kaz brekker ff #shadow and bone #crooked kingdom

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moonstruck-poet · 3 months

Text

Thank you everybody for the insane amount if love being showered on Kazzle Dazzle here! This is the first fic of mine to cross 1k and I'm so grateful tysm <333

His Love Language

Pairing - Kaz Brekker x reader!

Summary - This fic depicts Kaz and the subtle ways in which he shows his love.

Warnings - curse words.

Kaz Brekker noticed everything. Whether it be someone cheating in a game of cards, enemies tailing him during his walk, or even his crows being unlike their usual selves.

Because he always paid more attention to what a person is doing than what they're saying. Talk may thrill, but action reveals.

He had an eye for taking in the details. It was both terrifying and beautiful.

Terrifying for his rivals of course. He knew exactly what to pull off and how to pull it off for them to go insane.

And beautiful for his love, his one and only. Him having such a knack for remembering the littlest of things helped him immensely in his relationship with you.

Not many people noticed it before, not even you yourself. But as time passed, you learned that his love language were actions. Not physical touches, words of affirmations, gifts and presents. No.

But it was all about those small acts showcased by him that made you fall deeper for the bastard of the barrel. Your heart now always took notice whenever he did the most mundane things for you. It immediately took up its pace and reminded you of the exact reason why it still kept on beating.

Your fellow crows took a hell of time to gather just how deep the love of Kaz Brekker was. But once they did, saints were they both shocked and ecstatic.

All of them had their own doubts when they came to know of your relationship. Nobody was a stranger to the fact that both of you were extremely closed off people. Not opening more than what was necessary, and in the case of Kaz, not opening up at all.

But one look at the way you two understood each other without even having to express, made them believe that you two would make each other happy.

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Dirtyhands had struck another deal with a man named Arken Viking. The plan seemed quite simple, understandable even when it was explained.

And naturally everybody was feeling good knowing that they had a hundred percent chance of survival as it wasn't a difficult mission by any means. It just had a lot of steps that needed to be followed and so all seven of them were heavily involved.

Jesper, Wylan, Kaz and Matthias were waiting for the other girls to arrive. It was the final task of the day and they would then carry on again tomorrow.

Jesper was the one to pace around, unable to sit still in one place. He hated waiting more than anything else. Ask him to put up some money for a gamble? It would be done without wasting a second. Task him with shooting something impossibly far away? He'd have it completed before you could say shoot. But staying put in one place, he couldn't do it.

It was only for Wylan engaging with him that he even sat for ten minutes.

"Where did they go?" He grumbled and finally got up, stretching his legs and walking to stand near the two men who stared ahead, their expressions tight.

"They're late," Matthias muttered, trying his best to hide the worry he felt for a specific one but it was useless, all of them knew about his feelings but him.

"It'll be fine, they'll be here soon," Wylan said, standing next to Jesper and blushing very slightly when the tall boy leaned his shoulder against his and let out a sigh.

"You're sure that there's no danger right, Kaz?" Jesper asked and looked at his boss who didn't look away. His eyes firmly set on the road in front of them.

"Yes," he spoke, sure of himself. But there was this slight, very tiny nagging in the back of his mind that something had gone terribly wrong and he clenched his jaw.

But all of their worries dissipated at seeing the silhouette of three women walking towards them.

Matthias let out a sigh of relief once he saw Nina's bright face, him sending a quick prayer to Djel for looking over the three.

Kaz felt himself lighten instantly, his previously tensed posture relaxed as he saw you looking positively unscathed. His eyes found yours instantly and you sent him a smile, while quickly closing the distance between you two.

"You're late," was all he said, his eyes sweeping over everyone before landing on your figure which was leaning against the wall, right next to him.

"Let us live a little, Brekker," Nina rolled her eyes while Inej shook her head, though she too smirked.

"We were worried," Wylan was the one to speak that was on the tip of everybody's tongue.

"All of you?" She said with a raised eyebrow, looking pointedly at Kaz who merely glared at her sharply.

"Obviously!" Jesper exclaimed. "Now that you're all here, we can finally get some well deserved rest. Kaz let's take a room somewhere, yeah?"

"We can't," he said, turning his eyes away from you, rather unwillingly actually.

"What do you mean we can't?"

"Use your eyes, Jes," Inej said with a teasing smile. "Do you see any shops, hotels or anything nearby?"

"Then where the hell are we sleeping?" Nina said with a incredulous look. "I am not going to lie down in the middle of the street!"

Jesper too looked alarmed at the prospect and whipped his head around to stare at their leader.

"You think I'd let everyone sleep on the roads?"

"Can't put anything past you at this point," she grumbled and you laughed making Kaz give you a disbelieving expression.

"There's a warehouse ten minutes from here, we'll stay there for the night".

All of them groaned loudly at the thought of walking once again but soon started their small journey. And once they had reached the place, Jesper quite literally threw open the doors and scanned the area.

"Clean enough," he shrugged and laid the small blankets they had brought onto the floor. "Good night then," he waved lazily and Wylan followed his lead but not before gazing fondly at him for a few seconds.

"You failed to mention this in you plan, Kaz," Nina shot him a look and dragged her belongings to the corner of the room, accompanied by Inej and Matthias.

"Let's sleep, shall we?" You said softly and he nodded, taking off his coat while you arranged the sheets and removed your shoes, sighing at finally being able to rest.

He laid down himself, his body close to yours so your arms brushed a little. "You're okay, aren't you?"

"I'm all good," you turned your head to face him, taking in his features that you so loved. From his dark brown eyes that softened at your reply to his hands placed in front of him, the pale skin shining under the minimum lighting present.

He gave a curt nod and scanned your face once before closing his eyes, depriving himself of your addictive beauty.

"Night," you whispered and turned on your side, one hand under your head for support and the other lying in front. He didn't reply but instead reach ahead to brush his thumb against your forearm and interlocking your little fingers together.

You smiled, him being the last thought in your mind before sleep overtook you.

The rest of the night passed in peace before it was time for the sunrise. Naturally Kaz, Inej and Matthias were the first ones to wake. The rest were all sleeping soundly and soft breaths echoed in the room.

Kaz was looking over the layout of the building once again, making sure that everything would go on without any problems or worries when suddenly your knee brushed against his.

He stiffened at the contact for a second before turning around to see you pulling your legs up to your chest and curling into a ball. He immediately spotted the goosebumps that littered your arms and an unnoticeable shiver pass through you.

His eyes searched for a spare blanket somewhere but found none as all were used as mattresses for everybody to lay on. A small frown marked his lips as his mind raced and landed on a conclusion.

He took his coat that he had used as a pillow and dusted it before gently putting it over your body. Your curled figure made it easier and he adjusted it, making sure the warm jacket covered you completely.

You involuntarily grabbed the collar, your eyes still shut and cuddled into it.

While he felt himself ease up with satisfaction and he shot you one last look, unable to keep the fondness away from his gaze and returned to check the papers.

Matthias who had been watching the unspoken exchange felt his insides warming up at seeing the cold and distant demeanour of Kaz Brekker melting a little for you.

===============================

Predictably, the heist was successful and no one had expected anything less. In fact, it had gone a little more than satisfactory. They had no troubles waiting for them inside the building and no distractions outside too.

So to conclude, everybody was high on the fact that they had managed to pull it off with such stealth.

They were all given their paychecks when they returned back home.

"Saints," Jesper sighed and lovingly twirled the kruge in his fingers while Wylan unknown to anyone else but you shot tiny daggers at those pieces of money.

You hid your smirk, keeping the check in your pocket and walked over to your friend, "I understand, Wy," you patted his shoulder sympathetically while he became red.

"What do you understand?" He asked hurriedly and avoided eye contact.

"Oh come on," you chuckled. "I know about your not so little feelings. You fancy him, don't you?"

"No I don't," he mumbled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe just a little," he added as an afterthought.

You just brought him in a comforting side hug, quite endeared by the boy and ruffled his already wild hair. "I hate to say it, but he's more oblivious than anyone".

"I know," he groaned in exasperation, resting his head on your shoulder as you were considerably taller than him.

"Planning to steal her from Brekker?" Nina's playful words broke their conversation making the others laugh.

"Who's stealing what from me?" The man himself entered, as usual being perfect in his timing of showing up at the most unnecessary of times.

Wylan immediately removed your arm from his shoulder but Kaz being himself obviously glimpsed it. His expression did not betray anything, it was carefully kept stoic and calm. But he couldn't fool you, there was a reason why he'd let you walk fearlessly into his locked up heart.

His eyes seemed sullen for just a fraction of second. He wasn't reacting on the joke, of course not. He was now used to the crows trying to make him jealous. But rather the thing that had made him feel lost, was touch.

His inability to provide you with every bit of himself was killing him inside. For heaven's sake he couldn't even bear to embrace you without feeling as though he were on the edge and one small step would make him fall deeper into the oceans.

He swallowed and averted his gaze making you stare at him even more, trying to figure out what was bothering him.

You got up from your place and went over to sit in a chair beside him, keeping the distance because you weren't sure if he was okay with the proximity or not. But then he himself shifted his chair, and your legs brushed making him pull away quickly.

"Kaz," you said worriedly, moving back a little. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he lied and you frowned. He knew very well that you could tell he was being untruthful.

He willed his mind to focus on you rather than his surroundings and took your hand in his, taking a deep breath despite the barrier of his glove.

But it wasn't enough, he felt the strange need to be even closer to you despite his brain screaming in denial. And for the second time in his life, he decided to go with his heart and looked you in the eyes, noticing your evident concern as you approached him cautiously.

He gave his surroundings a quick scan. It was only the seven of them and they were all minding their own business. He made a split decision and started taking the glove off of his right hand.

You didn't say anything, finally understanding that he needed your touch and you were more than happy to provide.

He stopped in his tracks after pulling it off, staring at his pale, vulnerable hand.

"It's okay," you whispered softly, fighting the urge to lean over yourself. "I'm here. It's just you and me. You can do this".

He looked unsure but slowly extended it towards you. It wasn't like he hadn't done it before, he had, but it had been quite a long time ago.

He gently brushed his fingertips over your palm and relaxed when no waters rose. He nudged his little finger with yours and looked up to see you before locking them.

Your face held a small, adoring smile. It was so simple, yet so complex. You squeezed gently once and he returned it instantly making you laugh softly.

He felt strange in a good way, as if he had accomplished everything he wanted when he had only heard the sound of your laughter.

"Okay you two stop your gossiping, it's dinner time," Jesper broke the moment and was rewarded with a threatening glare. He just grinned in return when his eyes fell on a hand, Kaz's hand to be specific and his mouth hung open slightly.

"Never seen a hand before?" Kaz raised an eyebrow and swiftly pulled on the glove.

He looked away, his mind still trying to figure it out as he grabbed the plates.

You stood up from your seat much to Kaz's displeasure who shot a heartbroken look your way that you missed. But Jesper caught on as he was sitting right opposite.

He'd never thought that he would live to see the day when Dirtyhands would look sad like a lovesick puppy. He was debating with himself whether he even saw it happening because the look was gone in less than a second, replaced by his usual dark gaze.

But he was cut off from his thoughts when you smiled at him, keeping a plate of food on the table. "Enjoy".

"Yeah, 'course love".

All of them were now sitting at the table for the first time in months. They just never seemed to have a time fixed that would match everyone's schedule. And for most part, they were all lazy as well.

You were sitting at the corner of the table with Nina at the opposite side, her having every bit of your attention at the moment as she chatted away happily much to the disappointment of the man sitting to your right.

"The cake is great, Nina," Inej complimented her and she gave her a wink in return.

"It is nice," Matthias agreed making the said chef blush despite her smirk.

"Yeah I love it," Wylan smiled brightly.

"Oh damn," you winced as the spoon fell down with a loud clatter, breaking the conversation for a bit before it resumed again.

Inej watched you with amusement, laughing at your resigned expression when you bent down to retrieve it with a sigh. But then her eyes widened in surprise.

Kaz Brekker, the most ruthless man she'd ever met was maybe not that uncaring. She merely watched as his hand went to cover the sharp corner of the table as if it was an everyday occurence.

And you got up, putting the spoon away to take a new one when you stopped mid-action to see a gloved hand had been placed inches above your head that would have definitely rubbed against the edge.

At the moment all that existed for you was the person sitting right next to you. You stared at him blankly, planting holes on the side of his face.

He, sensing it turned to look at you, raising his eyebrows as though to ask, 'What?'

But you just shook your head and offered him a small smile and you swore you saw his lip twitch slightly.

===============================

"Ready Inej?" You asked, as softly as you could muster though you were shaking inside, knowing that you two only had one shot at this.

"All ready," she whisperer back and crouched down slightly, preparing to jump.

A gunshot was heard and the guard was successfully distracted by the sound giving Inej some time to slip in between the shadows and enter the room.

You had no choice than to shoot a bullet and now they were all alarmed which would make escaping very difficult.

Your eyes squinted in the darkness as you surveyed the room, hoping no one caught a glimpse of you and praying to whichever Saint there was for Inej to finish her job.

"Come on," you muttered to yourself, your legs shaking with anticipation as it had easily been ten minutes since she had disappeared. "Where the hell are you?"

Just then you spotted some movement going on further to your left and loaded your gun while also keeping one hand on the scabbard tied around your waist. Your footsteps were barely heard as they travelled softly on the wooden floor.

Someone had definitely seen you and were on a hunt, all you could do was make sure to stay hidden perfectly. The darkness was surely an ally but an enemy too.

A loud thud was the only warning you had before someone knocked the air out of your lungs making you skid backwards. You gasped, hands pressed to your chest while taking in deep breaths and moving away from the man, buying yourself time. It didn't feel like your ribs had broken but it hurt nonetheless.

You wracked your brain for a sign of another presence but it was only him. "Viking," you growled in anger after he stepped into the light. "I should've known".

He simply chuckled darkly, "You didn't though. Even Brekker failed. So I think I did my work to perfection, yeah?"

"Who else have you got?"

"No one!" He said, sounding strangely happy and you believed him to be a psychopath. "But the same can't be said for you, am I right?"

But you just shrugged, knowing if you spoke he'd be able to distinguish because of your voice. You should think about asking Kaz to teach you how he managed to always control his tone perfectly. But that would only be possible if you got out of here alive.

Not saying another word you charged, knowing using a gun would prove to be dangerous for you if he snatched it from you. Unfortunately, one of your downfalls was thag you didn't have much of a strong grip. And so you took two knifes and attacked him from both sides.

He took on a few cuts, some going deep and you were scarred too. A small one painted your cheekbone, one on the side of your neck and some on your arms.

You fought for quite a time, both being bloody with sweat dripping off your bodies. It was only when you pretended to hit him from your left and he fell for the basic trick, blocking your attack and in turn giving you easy access to wedge your knife straight into his abdomen. You shot him too for safety measures and double checking.

"Motherfucker," you heaved a sigh, wincing after feeling the burn of the cuts littering you and the stickiness of blood. "Fucking finally!" You exclaimed when your friend came into view, panting slightly and you knew she had gotten into a fight as well.

"Atleast we're matching," she said with a smile and pointed at the similar scars on your forearms.

"Yeah sure," you laughed and quickly moved out, not wanting to personally invite trouble.

The journey back the the Slat was a peaceful one, as it always was with Inej. You talked about Arken's betrayal, the documents she'd found and copied and some amounts of kruge that was just lying on the desk.

"Well despite everything, atleast we got it done," you grimaced slightly and opened the door, immediately walking over to the bar to get yourself a shot atleast. You needed the liquor desperately.

"Oh you're h- Saints!" Wylan sputtered, taking in the bloody sight when you turned. "You're drinking whiskey?!"

"Wy," you said, trying to explain before you faced his wrath. "I needed it".

"Like hell you did," he shook his head and called Nina so urgently that anyone would think you were dying.

"Don't- Wylan-" you cut yourself off after seeing his glare.

"Calm your potions, she's not dying" Nina Zenik said after one glance at your figure lounging in the chair.

"But she's injured!"

"Injury and death don't mean the same thing! And she looks alright to me except for a few cuts. Oh you and Inej have matching tattoos now," she said with a laugh.

"Jesper!" You summoned your gunslinger and he appeared right before you. "Take your man away or I'm going to actually die".

The boy got out of his haze of sering you all bruised and bloodied up before smirking a little and throwing a wink. He took hold of Wylan's arm and dragged his away.

"Matthias get me some bandages would you?" Nina asked as she healed the cuts and Matthias who had finished dressing Inej's arm walked over to you.

"Ouch woman!" You groaned and threw your head back, squeezing your eyes shut.

"It's the size of a paper cut! You don't shout this much when you have a literal bullet in your shoulder".

"They hurt more".

She rolled her eyes though a smile was present on her face as she cleaned the blood from your neck and healed the long cut there.

"Where's Kaz?" You asked, not wanting to admit that you had missed him and wanted to be in his presence.

"He's out somewhere, probably finding another deal," Matthias sighed and bandaged your palm.

After some time you were all healed though the scars were as clear as day. You didn't mind them at all because you were convinced they made you look even more terrifying and beautiful.

"You all okay?" You questioned Inej who was sharpening her collection of knives.

"I always am," she smiled and took your knife to sharpen making you give her a grateful look.

It was now almost past eleven at night and you were sitting on the bed in Kaz's room waiting for him. You wanted to see him, had longed for him after being away for almost an entire day.

And the Saints did answer your plea albeit a while later. You heard the familiar tap of his cane and heavy footsteps as he climbed the staircase and opened the door. His eyes sharp but relaxing upon seeing you.

"Mission went well?" He asked and took off his coat and hat while walking towards you and slumping down on the bed.

"Yes, though Arken's betrayal was a great bit of surprise," you said and sat up, unconsciously putting weight on your elbows and arms in doing so and hissing hissing angrily, clutching your sore muscles.

"What's wrong?" He asked immediately but when you didn't answer, he got up to turn on the lights and saw your scrunched up face.

And one by one he took notice of the bruises that were turning black and blue, bandages being wrapped around your palm and bicep and a thin but prominent scar on your neck. He swallowed the unfamiliar restlessness, fighting the urge to wrap you in his arms and kill the man who had injured you so badly.

"You're hurt," he stated as though you weren't aware of it and closed the distance, sitting as close to you as possible. "You're hurt," he repeated, his eyes flicking from every part of you back to your eyes.

"I was, I'm okay now".

"Who?" He all but spat out, his insides burning with hatred.

"Arken. But I killed him, don't worry".

He eased a little and removed his gloves, cautiously reaching forward to hold your bandaged palm in both of his hands. His breath hitched at the coldness and you made a move to pull away but his grip tightened and he shook his head firmly.

Slowly but surely he relaxed again, feeling comfortable as he unknowingly cradled your hand with such gentleness that you closed your eyes. His fingers traced the edge of the white material, rubbing slow circles.

He suddenly looked up and your breath got caught in your throat at the sheer proximity between you two. You were so close that you could feel the air he heavily exhaled and a faint blush was quick to rise on your cheeks. His dark brown irises staring intently into yours with a flame of possessiveness.

His eyes dipped down to your lips before moving to the scar on your cheekbone and his eyebrows furrowed just a tiny bit. He raised his hand once again, he had only done it once before and the feeling was a huge rival to drowning.

His jaw tightened when the tip of his index finger touched your jaw as softly as a feather. Despite wanting to stay still, you couldn't help it and leaned into his hand, conveying the message that you needed more.

He understood and gritted his teeth, carefully sliding his palm upwards to cup your cheek. His chest expanded as he released the pent up frustration.

This feeling, it was a rival to heaven.

Now that he had touched your skin, he craved more. His thumb softly caressed the scar like it may disappear under his brush. The finger moved at a leisurely pace, soaking in the beautiful feeling for as long as he could hold on.

You couldn't bring yourself to talk after witnessing the tenderness that oozed from his touches and caresses. It was like nothing you had experienced before. The moment felt so precious and for good reason.

You smiled at him, your eyes displaying the immense love that your heart held only for him and also silently thanked him.

He noticed. Of course he did.

And he offered you a gorgeous smile of his own. His lips stretching though not too wide but it was perfect for you and you fell for him yet again.

You found home in his smile and he saw love in your eyes.

===============================

#kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker fanfiction #kaz brekker x oc #shadow and bone #six of crows #crooked kingdom #Inej ghafa #Jesper fahey #Matthias helvar #Nina zenik #Wylan van eck #the crows

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moonstruck-poet · 3 months

Text

Guess who's getting to share the stage with THE Sunidhi Chauhan on Friday😭😭😭

Everybody's so worried they're gonna mess up oml- 🎸🪈🎹🥁🎤

Edit - holy shit today's the day

#sunidhi chauhan #india #desiblr #desi tag #desi tumblr #desi thoughts #artist #desi shit posting #desi academia #desi things #desi teenager #bollywood #bollywood singer #playback singer #singing

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moonstruck-poet · 4 months

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Marauders Era Masterlist

Wolfstar

Jegulus

Sirius Black

Remus Lupin

Severus Snape

#harry potter #marauders era #wolfstar #remus lupin x sirius black #jegulus #james potter x regulus black ff #sirius black ff #remus lupin ff #severus snape ff #Severus Snape

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moonstruck-poet · 4 months

Text

Golden Trio Era Masterlist

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

#harry potter #golden trio era #golden trio ff #fred weasley #george weasley #fred weasley x reader #george weasley x reader

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moonstruck-poet · 4 months

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Most Ardently

Pairing - Ben Barnes x reader!

Summary - hey! I hope you're doing good. I had a request for ben barnes. so the reader and ben (both actors) have been friends for a long time and ben always liked the reader but the reader was dating someone else. when they broke up ben was there to get through it and slowly the reader also realizes that she like ben too.

Warnings - heartbreak

I really hope you like it anon! So sorry for the wait and tysm for your amazing request<33

You were a dreamer, in search of your dream.

"Here! Look here please!" The numerous cameras flashed as you tried your best to look at every single one of them, smiling widely and hopefully striking a nice pose.

"I swear I'm gonna be blind till I'm 40," James spoke from beside you, tightening his hold on your waist.

You chuckled at his statement, "You'll have me with the similar condition beside you, don't you worry".

But the nervous smile he gave escaped your observant eyes as you were too busy paying attention to the reporters.

"Let's get out of here," you murmured and he nodded, following your lead as you moved to a much quieter and slightly less crowded area. "Much better now".

"Oh definitely," he leaned against a wall and you moved in closer, your hands travelling up to his shoulders as you gently kissed his cheek. "You were awesome out there, I don't think I can ever handle such attention".

"You get used to it with time," you smiled and your eyes caught movement making you turn to see your best friend walking towards you, hands in his pocket and a poker expression on his face.

"He probably hasn't even seen us yet," James said and you agreed.

"I'll just so and say hi to him quickly, yeah?" You excused yourself and he nodded immediately, taking a step back.

"Of course! Go on".

Your smile widened the closer you got to your best friend, taking in his gorgeous look. From the crisp white shirt tucked into ironed black trousers, and topped off with a similar blazer and tie, he looked sharp.

You noticed the exact moment his eyes caught yours amidst the many people and how they softened instantly, a warm glow spreading across his previously detached face. And your heart felt heavy and giddy as you quickly closed the gap.

"Hey!" You greeted first, an ecstatic grin on your face which he seemed to mirror.

"Hello," he replied simply, taking a tiny step closer as his obsidian eyes hungrily scanned your features.

They moved from your beautifully lined eyes, down to the blood-red colour of your lips and back again, seeing the sparkle in them that he longed for every single day. And involuntarily, he couldn't help but take another step towards you.

'Christ,' he whispered in his mind as his loving gaze caressed your figure. 'She's so beautiful,' he thought and an adoring, tiny smile was visible on his face.

The gorgeous dress that you wore just added more to your natural beauty, it was an off-shoulder gown that went down to your heels, making you look like a princess.

He was so taken with searching your face that he failed to process your words and you had to snap your fingers to jolt him back.

"Sorry what'd you say?" He shook his head slightly and focused on your speech.

A small frown was on your lips, "Are you okay? You seem a little closed off?"

"I.." He began, mind racing to find a suitable answer that could satisfy your concern, but at the same time he knew he couldn't get away with lying to you, you simply knew him too well for that.

"I'm tired," he said at last. Thinking that it was the safest reply he could give without telling on himself about his predicaments.

"Anything in particular?" You asked softly.

'Yes,' he wanted to say. 'You'. But of course he didn't. Rather, he couldn't.

"Just the stress of attending countless interviews, I guess. Haven't been able to get a proper rest in days".

You sighed sympathetically and brought him in a warm embrace, understanding that he needed it more than ever. Your hand instinctively ran through his soft hair, smoothing it down comfortingly.

Ben on the other hand felt as though he had reached heaven at your actions. He let out a deep sigh, feeling his tense shoulders lighten before wrapping his arms around your waist.

"You know you can talk to me about anything at any given point of time, right?" You asked softly, not pulling away.

"Mhmm," he mumbled, gripping you tighter without even realising it. He cherished such moments, knowing it was as close as he could ever come.

But then you backed off, making his heart sink a little. What was he even expecting? Of course you weren't going to let him be in your arms forever.

He was not yours.

And you were not his.

And he bit back the pain that slowly seeped into his soul like poison itself. His pleasant expression dropped at seeing James enter the conversation and step right beside you. He swallowed upon seeing the twinkle in your eye, the way they seemed to brighten the moment you spotted your boyfriend.

But little did he know, that sparkle was there whenever he came into your sight too.

"Having a good night so far, Ben?" James asked politely and extended his palm for a handshake.

The man in question shook himself out of his stupor and they shook hands, "Yes, everything's going quite well".

"Join us for dinner?" You asked with a smile while his hands watched the way yours intertwined with James and unknowingly his jaw clenched.

"Yeah you can invite some friends of yours too, we don't mind".

But Ben shook his head, "No I'll- I'll probably head home soon, you two go and enjoy," he gave a rather forced smile and you frowned.

"Ben?" You began, wanting to ask him exactly what was troubling his mind because you were certainly not satisfied with his previous answer.

But he interrupted you by stepping back with every word of his that he uttered next, "No no don't worry about me, you go out and dine in some fancy restaurant, maybe bribe James for your favorite ice-cream," he grinned, his lips feeling artificial as he did so.

===============================

It was a whirlwind of emotions in your brain at the moment, everything so scattered around that it was physically starting to hurt.

You should've seen it though, should've noticed the signs a lot earlier. Only if you hadn't been wearing a blindfold that was already stained red, too bad that your eyes were fully closed.

You were a stranger to breakups, never before having such a serious relationship with anyone. You had obviously heard all about them, but were yet to experience one. And you feared that you were bound to feel it for yourself soon enough.

James had been detatched from a long time, never initiating any moments of intimacy himself and always keeping it short whenever you were the one to start.

You cursed yourself, hating your idiotic, gullible mind so much for simply brushing it off, thinking maybe he was having a problem. Not once did you consider bringing it up because he was just so loving at times. But it was all platonic, something that you mistook for adoration instead.

But now that some force had finally knocked sense into you, you had at last brought up the inevitable topic. And it had led to the present situation.

There he was, the so called love of your life sitting right opposite you on the sofa, holding both of your hands in his and trying to break the news as gently as possible.

"I'm sorry," James whispered, bowing his head down. Probably to avoid looking at your disturbed features, you thought immediately.

"It's me who should be sorry," you apologised, not even understanding the reason for doing so. It just felt the right thing to do at the moment as your mind had gone completely blank.

"Hey no," he shut you instantly, shaking his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It- It's all me".

You nodded, your heart feeling numb now as you turned your gaze towards one of the photoframes decorating the wall. It was taken during your earlier dates with him. Gosh you looked so in love.

Your throat burned upon seeing the evident affection in not just yours, but his eyes too. But then, how could it diminish just like that Many answers crossed your mind, almost all of them pointing yourself out as the actual problem.

"Say something please," he urged, his voice filled with genuine sadness

"What am I supposed to say, James?" You chuckled lowly, "Other than the fact that I still love you with all of my heart?"

He winced, your words wedging into his chest, inflicting deep wounds. He wanted, or had atleast hoped it to be easier but who was he even kidding. Of course it was supposed to be difficult, you had loved each other for God's sake.

And how was someone expected to react when their partner told them, right to their face that, 'I don't love you anymore?'

"I'm so sorry, Christ I'm so sorry," he pressed his forehead against the back of your hand and you felt him crying.

And despite the terrible, devastating heartbreak, you still hated to see him cry. He was such a good man that despite his confessions, you still cared, as strongly as you had done before.

"It's not your fault, James," you said after gathering your thoughts. "I'm- I'm actually glad that you told me up front. No no I am-" you cut him off after seeing his disbelieving and ashamed expression.

"-You didn't cheat behind my back and instead opened up about being in love with someone else. And honestly? That would've shattered me," you whispered, giving him a small smile as if it wasn't hurting now.

"As if you're not shattered right now," he sniffed, wiping his cheeks and noticing your expression change.

"Are- Are you already talking to that person?" You changed the topic, sporting a poker face that perfectly hid the storm that was raging inside. Atleast there was some advantage in being an actress.

"Yeah," he said, fiddling with his hands. "We just talked though, nothing more I swear".

And you trusted him without a doubt, because you knew he would never ever do anything scandalous. He simply wasn't that type of a person. And that was one of the reasons that made you fall for him.

And now, that's one of the reasons that made you happy to have had fallen for him.

"Okay then, all the best for your life ahead," you muttered and shifted awkwardly. Feeling uncomfortable in your own home.

He hesitated, looking back and forth between his hands and trying to read your face before leaning in for a hug.

And despite wanting to push him away for the things he did, you merely wrapped your arms around him. Because aside from bring a great partner, he was also a fantastic friend.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered against your hair. "I'm so so sorry, please forgive me if you find it in yourself to do so. You were my first love," he said with a soft smile. "And you made it so beautiful for me".

A nod was all you could give him as he pulled back and pressed a small kiss to your forehead and exiting your apartment.

You watched the door close, heard him enter the elevator and yet you didn't sit down. Instead your grabbed your jacket and a black baseball cap, pulling the hood over your head and stepping out with your phone in the pocket.

All you needed right now was a long long drive, you thought to yourself after getting inside your black Lamborghini.

But the minute the engine spurred on and you started driving, you had somehow, without any destination in your mind had arrived at a park. And you didn't even feel the need to go somewhere further.

Getting out of the, you noticed it to be empty. Maybe the gods did decide to let you a little off the hook, and of course people wouldn't spent their Saturday night sitting in a goddamn park when they could be participating in much enjoyable activities.

And so you pulled off the hood and the cap and settled yourself on a bench, your breath coming out ragged as the pent up emotions started building in your heart.

You gasped, chest heaving deeply as you hands shook and you clenched your jaw. Your vision slowly becoming blurry and you squinted your eyes while pressing your lips together to prevent any sound from escaping.

But the rawness of it all seemed to overpower your restraints and a lone tear did indeed trail down your cheek and out came a small, sob. You bent down, elbows on your knees and palms digging into your teary eyes as your shoulders shook.

"Wh- Why him?" You whispered to yourself and in doing so you were able to taste the saltiness of your tears. And then you were silent before another round of pain struck your sensitive mind, leaving you defeated.

"Hey," you heard a man speak making you jump as you looked up to see your best friend and realisation hit you immediately.

It was a Saturday night... And he always came to this particular park for his usual runs.. Christ...

You couldn't say anything, weren't able to actually and you merely stared while steady emotions fell from your eyes.

And Ben, oh god he was devastated as he took in your vulnerable frame. He could quite literally drop down to his knees because he could see the absolute pain etched on your face and it made him tremble.

"What's wrong?" His voice shook as he did not waste another second to sit next to you. "What the hell happened? Is it something serious? Did anything happen to you? Your family?" Questions flew out rapidly from his mouth and he stopped abruptly when all you gave him was a small smile and his very soul saddened.

He saw the redness of your eyes that were shining like glass, the tip of your nose in the condition as them and the twitch of your lips that held everything but happiness.

He saw them tremble and he lost it.

You were in his arms before you could comprehend what was happening, held tightly against his warm, comforting body. His hands were on your back, pulling you closer and closer while yours were limp by your sides, something that he noticed.

"What happened, love?" His voice laced with every amount of desperation as tightened his grip, almost suffocating you with his worry.

You didn't say anything. Time passed, slowly but surely and fresh tears soon formed in your eyes and you closed them, your arms going around his torso and you cried your heart out on his shoulders.

And he let you.

Not speaking another word in fear that he may interrupt something, not even moving a muscle, afraid that you would pull away. He stayed exactly where he first was right until the very end.

"P- Promise me something," you spoke at last, voice all hoarse and full of raw pain.

"Anything," he replied, not pulling away the slightest and instead pressing his lips against your hairline.

"Please don't leave me," a quiet request reached his ears and he breathed in.

And he had to detatch himself slightly to look right in your eyes as he answered, "I would never, I promise".

But you shook your head, "No you don't understand. It's not that easy," you kept on shaking your head, muttering under your breath and he cupped your cheeks, steadying your gaze on him.

"I will never leave your side," he said, clearly and firmly. "You hear me? I will never ever leave you all alone".

"You will tell me," you began, swallowing harshly as you tried to arrange your thoughts into coherent sentences. "If- If there's something about me that bothers you, or- or ticks you off, makes you mad, you will tell me. If you don't like any habits of mine or some of my preferences, you will tell me".

He looked at you with every ounce of sadness, feeling dejected at the choice of your questions.

"Maybe you find me boring suddenly or- or just not interesting enough, y- you will tell me," you stumbled in your speech and he caught you again.

"Oh darling," he sighed and his cheeks were moist as he listened to your cries and consoled you as best as he could.

"Just please don't leave me," you whimpered, gripping his jacket in your fist.

"I won't, I promise. I promise," Ben repeated as tears slid down his face too and he kept on dropping tiny kisses on the top of your head.

It hurt like hell, seeing the love of his life unravel right before his own eyes. It pained him physically when every little sob had made its way past your lips. Your heart was completely broken, the sharp edges cutting into your soul. But he would fix it, he vowed to himself. He would gather all your fragments and piece them together.

Because if love could cause destruction to such an extent, it could also heal to unbelievable heights.

===============================

It had been two years since the incident and you had recovered properly, now back to your previously normal state with only a small gap in your heart, which you assumed would always be there.

You were proud of yourself to have overcome the struggles and come such a long away. You had drowned yourself in work, accepting every offer and giving your level best in each and every performance.

And it all bore fruit.

Because here you were now, standing on a stage in front of thousands of people to give your acceptance speech for winning a Golden Globe award for the Best Lead Actress.

There was a satisfied smile on your face as you ended your token of gratitude to your fans and supporters. They had been incredible in showeing you with unbelievable love and enthusiasm.

"And last but certainly not the least," you said with the widest grin on your already glowing face, your eyes searching the crowd before landing on a particular person.

"This one's to him," you declared softly. "For helping me get through some of the toughest lows, providing me with all sorts of encouragement to push past the bitter memories and for always, always being there no matter what. This is all for you".

There was a loud round of screams and shouts from the very eager fans who had put two and two together.

"I love you Ben Barnes," you said at last and there followed an ear-splitting, thunderous applause. "Most ardently".

And it was all worth it to see that beautiful, gorgeous smile on his face that you so loved. He pressed his fingers to his lips and blew you a small kiss making your heart swell.

You exited the stage with one final note of thanks and each step you took towards him, you felt as though you had fought down the entire world for him and emerged victorious.

Ben stood up straight, looking devastatingly handsome in his royal blue tuxedo which coincidentally also seemed to match the colour of your dress. His obsidian eyes held every bit of pride there was in the entire universe; they shone like stars, all for you.

"Congratulations," he whispered, words for your ears only as he took your arm and brought you right into his chest.

"Thank you," you pressed your face into his neck, hinting a kiss on the warm skin. If one asked you, there was no way that you could recall exactly when you saw him differently. But there was just this one time when you looked at him and it was as though your universe had literally aligned. Everything just felt complete and so, so right.

Somebody had once said, that someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else. But he hadn't barged in your routine, he was already a part of it that you were yet to see.

There were a million words, but not one language could ever describe exactly what he was making you feel. He did the most ordinary of things like getting you your morning coffee on movie sets, keeping a hair tie on his wrist ready just in case that made your heart skip a tiny beat.

He was that once in a lifetime dream come true for you. That blue crayon that no one ever seemed to have enough of. He was that love that came without warning, the one who had already stolen your heart before you could even give a reply. He stormed inside like he already belonged there, took your carefully built walls down and ignited your very soul on fire.

"Thank you," you murmured, your lips tickling his ear. "For everything".

"I did promise, didn't I? And promises are meant to be kept".

Your love for him, it wasn't at first sight. It formed gradually through each year you had spent together. His personality, his goofy humour, that earth-shattering smile, that piercing gaze, gradually it all became clear that he was exactly the man whom you were looking for.

Meeting him was fate, destiny. Becoming his friend? That was certainly a choice. But falling for him? Goodness you had absolutely no control. Maybe you didn't intend to fall in love but at some point he smiled, that Ben Barnes smile and holy shit you blew it.

"Darling?" His gentle caress brought you back to the present, pulled you awake from your romantic thoughts.

"Yeah?" You could never really get used to him saying that god forbidden word. His British accent paired with that mischievous smirk and you were a goner.

"You pierced my soul. I am half agony, half hope and I too have loved none but you," he finished the quote that he knew was one of your favourites and you couldn't help but laugh with every speck of fondness as you closed the small gap to capture him in a searing kiss.

You were a dreamer, and he was your dream.

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#ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes fluff #ben barnes angst #benjamin thomas barnes #ben barnes #ben barnes ff #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x best friend #ben barnes x actor!reader

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moonstruck-poet · 4 months

Text

Hello all!! A very belated merry christmas on my behalf <33

Here's a small thank you note to the amazing people who are liking my work!! My Kaz Brekker fic is going wild thanks to y'all and my other works are also receiving a lot of love!!

To the anons who have requested, please know that I haven't answered as I'm directly gonna upload the fic that you requested so that it reaches you as I don't have an id to mention, please don't think that I've ignored you<33

Just thank you everybody!!!

Love,

- moonstruck-poet

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moonstruck-poet · 4 months

Text

Let's Have One

Pairing - Ben Barnes x reader!

Summary - Seeing you play and bond with his sister's baby sparked a new feeling of want and love in Ben.

Warnings - none!

This one is a thank you for a hundred followers!! I love all of you sm <33

"You ready, love?" His soft voice addressed you as you finished applying some light compact powder, thus finishing your simple and elegant look.

"Yeah just done," you gave yourself a scan and smoothed down the simple blood red dress. And even with the three cups of caffeine that you had downed in the past two hours, a yawn still managed to escape.

"God I'm hopeless," you chuckled lightly, fighting the urge to rub your eyes so as to not ruin the eyeliner.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and pulled you closer by the waist. "I can see how tired you are and I can't do anything at all".

"Hey it's fine," you kissed his cheek, lingering for a while and nuzzling into his neck. "It was my fault for staying up late on that case".

"You sure you're feeling okay? No headaches or anything?"

"I'm fine," you smiled at his worried expression before grabbing his hand and leading him out of the door. "And besides it's Sarah's birthday party, I wouldn't miss it for the world, you know?"

"I know," he replied and followed you without a doubt, opening the car door like an absolute gentleman before getting in himself.

"I should've done that since I'm driving," you laughed when he shook his head.

"You open the doors for me at restaurants and I do it for cars. I think it's only fair".

The drive to the party was spent in silence, with the radio and Ben's humming being the only source of sound.

"You need to have a small holiday," he interrupted the quiet and took your free hand in his. "You're working too hard".

"I'll get one as soon as I finish this, I promise. This one's a lot more complicated than we expected so naturally it is taking more time".

"I find you absolutely cool have I ever mentioned that?" He asked with a teasing smirked on his face.

You couldn't help but laugh and smile yourself, "I think you have, indeed! For the past week or so".

"Seriously though, I still can't believe that I'm married to a crime branch officer. Who could've thought?"

"And it's beyond my understanding how I managed to snatch for myself a literal Disney prince for the record," you retorted and he grinned proudly.

You two had arrived at the destination and the car was parked quickly by your efficient hands.

As usual, he got out first and opened your door, offering a charming smile and his hand as if you were a queen.

You accepted it without a moment of hesitation and placed your palm on his cheek to give him a rather unexpected kiss, one that he immediately reciprocated.

"Goodness," he whispered to himself after you pulled away, leaving him rather breathless and following with a wink.

Ben just felt himself fall a little more in love.

As soon as you opened the doors, you were swarmed by his family members. Eveybody coming closer to greet you with enthusiasm while your husband watched from the sideline, a fond and adoring smile on his face.

"It's so good to see you sweetheart!" His mother cupped your cheeks and surveyed your face in the most motherly way possible. "You're resting well aren't you? Eating properly and getting enough sleep? He's taking care of you isn't he?" She pointed towards her son and playfully narrowed her eyes as if threatening him.

"Don't worry, Mum. He's always taking care of me," you laughed at his nervous and scared face.

"He better be," Thomas, his father patted him on the shoulder sternly before chuckling and pulling his boy in a hug.

You finally managed to extract yourself from his loving family and he joined your side a second later, straightening his blazer.

"I honestly think they love you more".

"Well, I know they love me more".

He rolled his eyes at your smirk and extended his arm which you took, placing your palm on his bicep.

"You look beautiful by the way," he muttered in you ear as you searched for an empty table. "Like breathtakingly gorgeous".

"Thank you," was all you managed to utter because the way he was looking at you made you feel all sorts of things.

"All these years and I can still make you blush huh?" He grinned knowingly while you poked and slapped his abdomen.

"Let's sit here," he pointed to one with two empty seats and you followed, settling down at last and letting out a sigh as you slipped your heels off.

His hands found their way to yours, as though it was second nature to do so. His fingers fiddled with yours, occupying his attention till the party began.

And it started soon enough with everyone standing up as the birthday girl cut her cake and both her husband and son placed a kiss on her cheeks.

"Awh," you said to yourself, a smile forming on your face at what you saw a perfect family. You wanted that too. You already had a loving husband, the only thing left now was an adorable little one.

You lips were pressed together as you looked at your man, letting your eyes rest on his sharp but smooth features.

How beautiful would it be to have a little baby, a perfect combination of yourself and someone whom you held so dear. Maybe they'd inherit his dark eyes and hair or yours, it would be beautiful either way.

How lovely would it be to see this small, tiny human being blossom into a fully mature adult with their own unique personality while also sharing some common traits.

Your heart felt heavy with love at the thought and Ben could certainly feel you planting holes in his face and he looked at you quizzically, though a smile was still there.

You shook your head, suddenly overcome with emotions as you rested your head on his shoulder, wanting to be close.

He didn't say anything and merely pulled you closer, if that was even possible while pressing a kiss to your hairline.

The celebrations were in full swing and all of the couples were currently on the dancefloor, swaying to the romantic rhythm which soon changed into an energetic beat.

"Goddamn," a breath escaped your lips as you pushed your sweaty hair out of your face. "You're quite the dancer, Barnes".

"Care for another one, my love?"

"Unfortunately though I have to decline your offer, darling. I'm quite tired," you laughed lightly and he guided you to sit on a chair.

He knelt down on the floor and touched your feet making your eyes widen as you instantly grabbed his hands.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Shh just relax and trust me," he whispered and you watched as he undid the buckles of your heels and removed your sore feet from their tortuous clutches.

He then went forward to gently rubbing the top and sides and then moving towards the sole. The slight pressure helped immensely and you had to literally push him to get the man to stop.

"Thank you," you said into his ear once he settled down next to you, his chair close.

"Always," he murmured back and leaned down, capturing your lips in his and savouring the moment before it was broken by the party host.

Drinks and food were served once again, probably to energize the crowd for another round of crazy dancing. And Ben too had been dragged away by his many relatives, you laughing at his face that screamed 'save me from these hooligans'.

The sound was getting too loud for your rather sensitive ears so you decided to go to the more quieter areas but suddenly a loud crying stopped you in your tracks.

Pinpointing the source was easy enough and your heart dropped in your chest on seeing a toddler sitting on the grass all alone.

"Christ," you almost sprinted to the baby, recognizing him to be Louis, Ben's nephew. You sat down on your knees, offering him a smile and slowly moving closer.

"Hey Lou," you whispered, the smile still intact as you held out your palm. "You remember me, love?"

Fortunately the one-year-old had stopped crying though tears still stained his cheeks. He looked at you through wide set of eyes, his mind racing as he tried to identify.

After some time of silence you concluded that he didn't recognise you, which was fair considering you had only ever seen him twice in his life.

"Come here," you beckoned, now sitting on your heels and grinning as he raised his arms, allowing you to pick him up.

"Now what might you be doing here all alone, hmm?" You spoke softly, tucking him close to your body and finding a secluded spot in the party which didn't invite a lot of noise.

A sudden giggle was heard from him and you looked, surprised and laughing upon finding the cause. His tiny fingers had found your small butterfly necklace.

Sitting down on a chair you placed him on your lap, facing you. "Yeah that's a butterfly!" You smiled and gently wiped his moist cheeks.

"Fieee!" He grinned, his voice melting you immediately. He was an adorable boy, with blond hair and sea blue eyes.

"You wanna play a game? Let's play a game," saying so you kept him engaged for quite a long time and were entertained yourself.

"More!" He said happily, swinging his little feet as you tickled his sides making him squirm away but also lean in.

There was a tissue box kept on the table and you folded one to create a boat, an aeroplane and some simple shapes much to his excitement.

"Boat," he pointed towards the craft kept on the left and you clapped.

"Good job!" You chuckled and kissed the top of his head with every ounce of love. A wave of pride filling your chest at his correct answer.

Your shenanigans went on for another thirty minutes before Louis started yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"Someone's getting sleepy," you adjusted his position so that his face was resting comfortably on your chest and your palm was patting his back.

Ben's blazer that had been resting on your shoulders for almost the entire night was now shielding his nephew from the cold. You draped the black coat on him and it fit like a warm blanket.

"Goodnight sweetheart," you murmured and kissed his forehead before resting your cheek gently on his head.

"Nigh Nigh," he replied, eyes closed completely and one of his fist grasping on your necklace.

Looking at him sleeping so peacefully made your tired body feel dizzy as well and before you knew it, you were knocked out.

Ben Barnes on the other hand was roaming around the hall for the past ten minutes, trying to locate you amongst the crowd. He was getting agitated and couldn't help but release a sigh of relief upon seeing you.

Walking closer a small noise of surprise left him as he saw you fast asleep with his nephew resting on your chest. His heart took up its pace as he gazed at the domestic scene, his brain already creating various scenarios which depicted you and a tiny one nestled in your arms.

He swallowed, sitting down in the empty share and pulling out his phone to click a picture, knowing it would last longer.

His eyes surveyed every inch of you in that beautiful moment.

Moving from your creaseless eyelids to the small movement of your lips while you were asleep, then to the protective but gentle hold you had on the baby who was snuggling closer to your cozy figure under his own blazer making his smile widen.

"God I adore you," he said with a small chuckle, getting up to press his lips to the top of your head.

"Oh thank goodness," his sister Sarah's voice was heard from behind as she panted a little.

"What's wrong?" He stood up straight, concerned upon seeing her frazzled state.

"I left Lou with an uncle of ours and I saw the said person drunk some time ago and freaked out," she took deep breath, glad that her son was safe and sound.

He scoffed is disbelief at the carelessnes shown before turning back to you as you were rubbing you eyes and blinking rapidly, trying to move before remembering the child that was alseep too.

Ben and Sarah watched with a smile as you adjusted the coat, tucking it carefully and brushing the small strands of hair from his face.

"Oh hey," you greeted when your eyes fell upon the pair and you stood up, "He fell asleep as we were playing," you explained and handed him to his mother.

She took her son in one arm and pulled you in a warm embrace, "Thank you. I was worried sick after not seeing him," she said, shuddering slightly and you offered her a comforting smile.

"Its okay I can understand, glad to say he was in good hands," you said softly and they nodded while laughing.

"See you around then, visit soon, Ben," she hugged her cousin and bid goodbye.

"You slept well?" Your husband asked and brought you close to him while you arms went around his neck.

"Mhmm, needed that power nap".

"I've been thinking.." He began slowly making you pull away to look at his face, noticing the slightly nervous expression.

"Go on," you encouraged him, leaning ahead.

"We've been married for almost four years noe, yeah? And have been together for ever longer," he said and you nodded. "How about- How about we have a child now?"

Your eyes widened and you stilled in his arms, your heartbeat increasing with both nervousness and excitement at his declaration, "Y- You sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" He questioned and gently swayed you two together. "I want a future with you, my love. Have been dreaming about it for ages".

"Me too," you admitted, a small smile forming against your lips. "Seeing Lou again just increased that feeling tenfold".

"I second that. And honestly? I really want to take the next step now. I think we're ready. What'd you say?"

"I think I'm ready too".

"Well then, I supoose we should start practicing soon," he said, now a teasing smirk on his face making you blush.

"Indeed," you replied and the two of you laughed, placing your foreheads against each other and simply staring into each other's eyes, making a whole new world of promises by sharing looks.

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#ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes ff #benjamin thomas barnes #ben barnes #ben barnes x reader wife #ben barnes x reader fluff #ben Barnes fluff #bin bons

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