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#Genuinely don't remember the last day this nice
maeamian · 10 months
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It rules when your friends have kids and you get to watch them grow up and show them cool stuff, just IMO.
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joyridingmp3 · 6 months
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it's been one of those days again
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veiledfox · 9 months
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} The past couple weeks have been odd for me
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controld3vil · 25 days
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atreides and bene gesserit
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pairing(s): dune 2 cast x actor!reader (platonic), austin butler x actor!reader
synopsis: requested by this ask!
⤷ alt: as clueless as you were about your sister's role, it brought you much surprise and joy to see her on the same carpet as you.
notes: reader uses fem pronouns as she's playing a role as a bene gesserit. reader is also described as wearing a sleeveless jumpsuit. and i really enjoyed lea seydoux's performance and hope to see more of it !! this is also COMPLETELY separate from the first two posts ive made since the readers r playing different characters yeah?
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When Denise Villeneuve asked you about the role of Lady Margot Fenring, you were genuinely shocked about his decision. You appreciated his works but have never gotten close to any of his sets before. You have worked with directors who've admired Villeneuve for his imaginative mind. And now, you witnessed his creativity in person for the first time.
The role was small and not as significant as the other main leads. Regardless, your character was just as enigmatic and complex as any other in the Dune franchise. Even though your time was short, it was a fun experience to learn and observe from. You weren't able to meet the entire cast after production, but with the NYC premiere, you were able to link up again.
You heard your name being called out. "Hello! How are you?" The well-known comedian and presenter by the name of Amelia Dimonberg was now beside you. In her jet-black corset dress, her style is chic and elegant. She hands you a microphone with the film's title plastered on it. "You look beautiful!"
"Thank you!" you sweetly recuperate, diverting your shoulders to the sight, cutely. You give a little pose before complimenting her own outfit. "You as well!"
"Do you have a memorable day on set that sticks out to you?" Amelia questions, subtly leaning toward your direction. And now you noticed her detailed eye makeup which enhances her outfit altogether.
"Well- I've had, like, only a few days," You let out a quick sigh. Truly it was nothing to be embarrassed about but you could not help but feel shy about it.
"Mmhmm! So all of them?"
"Yeah, all of them!" With ease, your shyness turns into giddy laughter as all you remember from your times on set. Recalling those tiny moments brought a small smile to your face. "Every day counted for me and that was enough."
"Oh absolutely!" Amelia chides, nodding in agreement. She quickly then moves onto the next question, "How long do you think you could last in the actual desert?"
"Oo that's a tough question," Lifting your fingers to rest on your chin as you try to contemplate an answer. "Ideally no- I feel like I could never recover from the heat."
"Yes yes, the heat's very intense,"
"Yeah- no I don't think I'd ever leave my house for that-" You shake your head nonchalantly, acknowledging how most of your scenes already were indoors. You could imagine how you would do in the desert of Abu Dhabi. It makes you appreciate the cast and crew even more for their effort to make filming more comforting and tolerable.
"Where would be your dream location to hang out? I'm assuming your home then since you prefer to say inside?" The blonde interviewer quickly catches on, eyebrows raising intrigued by your response.
Instead, you hummed bashfully, "Actually I think an oasis would be nice." The camera catches onto Amelia's face, fully fixated on you. "Which fits perfectly if I were to live in the desert actually!"
"Mm yeah, smart choice!" She responds more cheerily. "You can maybe go for a swim, you know-"
"Right right," You give her an playful look, "And you don't have to go thirsty!"'
"Absolutely, the best of both worlds," Amelia chirps, doing the same expression. "So this film centers a lot around dreams. Do you have vivid dreams of yourself?"
"Yes! I've uh- I've had many dreams of myself. I mean, this one, for example-" You turn to the camera, waving with the most adorable smile on your face. "'I'm living my dream right now!"
"You're living your dream right now!"
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In another section of the premiere, you were walking down the carpet for press interviews and photography. The set where the premiere was taking place was gorgeously made in the shades of black and orange, the perfect theme of the film. The entire venue was outdoors, allowing you to feel the cold air and be more at ease in the crowded space. There were more paparazzi than you had expected, and you suddenly became aware that you were alone. Without any friend or acquaintance to accompany by, you searched aimlessly for a familiar face.
Then there was a holler. And then multiple more came after, it made you confused really. Your head swerves to the sound of the person you so try to look for and immediately you're struck in awe.
"Anya?!" In an instant, you're seen running towards your sister in the far back of the premiere wall. People were reluctantly used to fast-paced relocations around the carpet. Therefore most did not mind your hasty stumbles through the crowd. It was almost comical how apparent your demeanor changed when you heard her, in fact, videos and pictures caught all of it.
"Hi!" She beams in her white dress robe. Her makeup was glowing, making her skin seem angelic, and sheer without impurities. Her outfit covers her like a nun, covering her head and body in almost transparent cloth. Yet it flows around her so elegantly, almost like she was an angel from the stars. She squeezes your figure firmly, only after releasing to gush about your appearance.
You adored a beige sleeveless jumpsuit. The color is complimented with tiny designs of sparkle. Its seams captured your figure perfectly, as you also wore a gold chain and bulky rings. From the lighting, it looks as though your outfit is shining. And to be completely honest, you prefer comfort over the judging looks of fashion critics. Therefore you wanted to wear something that you could still move comfortably in. Thus you were able to run over to your sister with ease.
Through the other lens and camera, they could pick up some of her words after. "You look so gorgeous! How are you here?!" Anya's expression changes into a perplexed one as she gets a hold of your shoulders, shaking them back and forth.
"I was invited obviously, "You said, mimicking her voice while holding onto her arms on yours. "You didn't tell me you were a part of Dune!" Viewers from afar could tell you were pushing an act, reacting as though you were petrified about how Anya managed to be here in the first place.
"I didn't know you were either!" She giggled, closing in on your right ear. Your sister whispers to you slowly, trying to withdraw from the camera and recordings. "Villeneuve had mentioned something but honestly I just thought it was a joke."
It was your turn to guff. Your mouth opens wide flabbergasted, looking sarcastically offended. "Why would you think he's joking?!"
Anya scoffs lightly, wanting to go further with the joke. "I don't know- I just didn't take his word seriously,"
"Why? Because you didn't think I'd make it into the film?" You accused, eyes widening with a hand over your heart. "You're so cruel."
"So cruel," She smirks up at you, then moves back to be by your side. You see her face forward the flashing cameras, as you do the same. "Come! Let's take some pictures!"
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"Your outfit looks beautiful by the way!" Anya Taylor muses, eyeing down at the fine details on your jumpsuit. "It's very... you!"
You give her a nod, before flattening some of the creases, "I thought this color was so exquisite, so I thought it would be perfect for the premiere." You lift your head to look at your sister, before realizing behind her, the upcoming stars of the film were getting ready to take cast photos. "Oh Anya- I think you should go!"
Your sister turns and then gazes back at you with a soft smile. "You should come with me!"
The thunder of cameramen and journalist blurred your focus for a moment. "Are you sure-"
Again the sound of your name is hurdled but this time from someone you haven't seen in a long time. Jessica Ferguson, who too wears a black body suit with veils and bold makeup. She waves her hand almost too eagerly to have you come closer alongside your sister. "Come, join us!"
Videos were filmed of the people gesturing to the cast of Dune in a line. Little by little, the row of people is filled and organized to be in the center of the camera's focus. Some actors had to move spots, due to lack of space or better color semblance on the other side of the row. You stood next to Jessica and Florence Pugh was beside your right, as you tried to stand closer for the picture.
Anya Taylor was on the opposite side, with Austin Butler and beside him, Timothee Chalamet. A noticeable clip taken all over was when the French actor went to greet the English actress, warmly, clasping her hand with both hands as a proper salute as on-screen siblings.
You did not mind the lack of attention. You were happy for Anya for achieving a great role. One with a welcoming cast and crew. It was then your eyes scanned down the row, from Zendaya to Stellan Skarsgard. Then to Austin, whom you've been familiar with since day one. Only him to find your gaze seconds later. You give a little nod and smile before averting your direction to Anya who is already staring at you with gleaming eyes.
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You were going back and forth with Jessica and Florence on your travels for a while. From plans reception to favorite desserts, all you three wanted to talk about was food. Paparazzi caught onto your banter quickly and snapped a few photos. You even went out of your way to do silly poses. Followed by Jessica and Florence, then did the same, sticking their tongues out in a rock star kind of fashion. You throw out piece signs, giving a dramatic frown as another flash happens.
Catch-ups were definitely refreshing and fun. Thus why you nearly jump when Austin appeared behind you.
"Oh my gosh, hey!" You stuttered, giving him a quick hug to calm your nerves. "You scared me!"
"Sorry sorry! I just wanted to surprise you!" He leans his head slightly, allowing better eye contact. You felt a few taps on your shoulder and noticed Jessica and Florence scurrying away, with their thumbs up, all goofy and excited.
Your eyes make it back to his. "I would've said hi back at the cast photo, but you were so far away," Shrugging you dismiss your failure as a mild missed opportunity.
But Austin shakes his head in an averted manner. "No- Don't worry about it." You could already sense interviewers and others with microphones closing on you two. You were out in the open, and it's bound to happen. "I wanted to- you know, say hi to you in a less chaotic place."
"I tried looking for you but there's just so many people," You give your costar an exhausted look. It was then a keen young man approached the pair of you. It was the People magazine, as you became aware of the logo alongside their camera and microphone.
"Hey, would you two mind a short interview for People's magazine?"
Truly, this was what premieres were about. The cast and crew meet with fans to show what they have worked so hard for. You brought you no better satisfaction than to praise everyone's efforts. The interviewer then proceeded to have a quick introduction of you and Austin beside you. You both had separate microphones in each hand. Once the video started rolling, you peered at the camera and gave the audience a grin.
"So how are you guys doing? Met all of your lovely cast members yet?"
"Oh absolutely," You emphasized every syllable, nodding. Austin only glances at you in amusement. "It's crazy how many people are here I was so overwhelmed!"
"Yeah, it was pretty crowded," The male actor adds, lowering his microphone slightly.
"Hopefully it will die down!" The interviewer beams. "So what was it like getting to know each other in this film? How was the first day on set like?"
"Oh, well it went very smoothly," You start, staring up at Austin in approval. "Even though my time was short on set, I feel like we had a pretty good rhythm starting out."
"I was about to say! The scenes with Feyd and Lady Margot were really something!"
"Why thank you, we appreciate it," Austin nervously laughs, scratching his ear.
The interviewer takes the lead to discuss your preparation for the role and how it was working with Villeneuve. As new characters, you and Austin both talked about your views on both of your characters. Both are very different yet mysterious to the viewers. Additionally, you two were introduced in a similar scene of the pit fight. The People's Magazine interviewer was compelled to compliment Austin on his opening scene. You knew he had practiced the choreographed fights vigorously. And of which you were lucky to witness on the days that you were present.
"It was completely freeing and different than what I was used to doing," Austin probes, leaning toward your direction. "Were you there for the pit fight?"
"I think I was," You turn, similarly. "I remember watching from afar and thinking wow." Immediately you could sense him eagerly looking down at you with a sly smile. "He was- Austin did amazing with the fight choreography, I was impressed!"
"Was this the first time seeing him in full costume too?"
"Oh yes!" You bonked your hand on your forehead, "He was and I just- couldn't believe it was him!"
Suddenly Austin jumps in, "She was startled when I first came up to her in full costume."
"You came out of nowhere, by the way!" You rebutted, giving him a side glance.
"I didn't mean to," As he tries to reassure his actions, "I wanted to give a good first impression!" It was humorous how playful you two were together despite having dissimilar filming schedules. Though most of your scenes involved Butler, your friendship only became more apparent weeks after working together. It was off and on for months at a time due to being busy in other countries simultaneously.
Eventually, you were able to link up again weeks before the premiere. After waiting a long time to meet up, you almost felt relieved that you hadn't seen your costar in a while.
"And Austin, how was filming with her?! From a character's standpoint, what kind of dynamic do you see playing out?" The People's Magazine interviewer perks up, having the camera transition from his face to Austin's.
"Well I'd say, she's great. You know I've got to meet a lot of amazing people in this film. And," He says your name sincerely, "She's- she's one of those people. I can't say much for Lady Margot and Feyd's relationship- you know there's a lot of that's still not uncovered. We don't really know what's happening but kind of have an idea of something. And to have such a great actress like her, it makes everything feel authentic and- feel the tension." It felt as if you were in a daze, eyes completely focused on his words with such admiration and grace. Before you knew it, you were smiling as if you had won the best possible prize in the world. His compliments to you meant more than you had anticipated really.
Unbeknownst to you, the cameraman had caught your lovestruck expression before directing attention back to the interviewer. "And how about you, Miss Margot?"
"I'd say it's the same," Now looking at the interviewer, only momentarily back at your costar. "Austin's- he's great at all the stunts and acting like a scary dude. Every scene with him was fun to do. Like he's all serious in character but once they yell cut! he's so nice and funny!" Your bubbly laugh breaks as you can feel your face growing hot.
"Well I appreciate you liking my humor," Austin pokes fun at you, fanning a little air towards you.
You mutter a soft thank you! before continuing, "And he's dedicated you know? I remember one scene, a little spoiler, where Feyd is about to be tested by Lady Margot, and I just couldn't do it! I couldn't keep a straight face!"
"Really?!"
"She just kept breaking, I don't know why," The actor shrugs, his attention closely drawn to you. "We had a few takes on a few days."
"We did! We did!" You gave a big frown, "You just have a really distracting face."
"Do I?" Austin asks, between the lines of teasing and coolly.
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By the time, other premieres had occurred, people were still focused on your interactions with Austin Butler. Your chemistry on and off screen on the carpet was hilarious. And with how polarizing your characters were, it made many clips of your shared encounters gain attention.
A few short videos were recorded after the People Magazine interview of you and Austin, bashfully talking behind the stage. The two of you went back and forth whispering in each other's ears about what was unknown to the viewer. Through a bird's eye view, the video also catches you hugging your arms before zooming in on Austin's placing an arm around your figure.
Another clip that had been reposted many times was when you both took duo pictures together. As you comfortably shift your weight on one leg, as you turn to have your side face the flashing paparazzi. Whilst the Elvis actor stands beside you at a pleasant distance, doing the same pose to the other side. There was one instance where you lifted your head to make eye contact with your eyes instantly brightening. As Austin's smile widened, only to blow air in your face.
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Can I request a fluffy cuddle bug Yandere Luffy x Oblivious Reader.
Harmless
Yandere Luffy x GN Reader
1.1k words
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"Are you not worried about that?"
"Worried about what?" Everything seemed to be going fine today, you're not sure what your cousin was getting at. Your eyes lingered on him briefly before refocusing on the food in front of you. This food stall wasn't going to run itself after all.
Malachi shot you an incredulous look while gesturing at you, "That! The whole-ass man on your back!"
"Oh, that's just Luffy. He's excited to see me after being gone for awhile, that's all." You suppose the prolonged piggyback ride was a little odd to see. Not that it bothered you much, Luffy was surprisingly light.
"Why are you talking about my ass? That's dumb. Of course I have a whole ass," Luffy's head lifted from your shoulder and you could see him sticking his tongue out at your cousin from the corner of your eye.
"It's just an expression, Luffy," his attention is quickly drawn back to you when you held up a skewer of expertly roasted meat. "Here, the marinade is a new recipe. What do you think?"
You barely get the chance to finish the sentence before his head snaps forward and inhales the meat like a starving man, even though he last ate approximately seven minutes ago when he decimated the previous batch. His teeth grazed your fingers and you withdrew your hand, "Easy! How am I supposed to make your food if you eat my fingers?"
Luffy swallows the mouthful, including half the stick much to your cousin's horror, and grins at you, "Sorry!" His hand juts forward and grabs two more skewers off the grill, "These are really good, (Y/N)!"
"Are you really just gonna let him eat all the food?" Malachi huffed.
You slapped his arm, "Be nice! He's the whole reason you can even come over to visit now. If it weren't for him, those marines would still be taxing us all to hell and barring other people from stopping by and seeing how bad everything was."
Those bastards kept everyone poor while also draining the island of its natural resources. After they left, it was honestly shocking to see how much food your home had to offer when it wasn't being ravaged. Before Luffy's help, you would only be able to operate the food stall for a couple of hours a day because of how little food you were allotted. Now you could run it from sun up to sun down if you so pleased.
Malachi rolled his eyes, "I guess that's true. Don't get why he's only bothering you, though. There are several places to get food around here."
Luffy answered for you, "Because their food is the best here!" The compliment came from him so naturally, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. You couldn't help the genuine smile that pulled at your lips.
His rubbery limbs squeezed you a little tighter, "I wanna eat this every day! You should join my crew!"
All you did was chuckle, this wasn't the first time he made the proposition. You took a brief break from rotating skewers to pat the arm wrapped around your chest, "I can't do that. I need to help my family run this place, remember?"
The pirate slumped against you and whined dramatically, "Come on, please?! Can't that guy help them instead?"
While Malachi was certainly helpful, he was only ever here temporarily. His parents lived on a different island and he didn't like to leave them alone for long.
You shook your head, "No, Luffy. He has his own family to help out, he's going home in a couple of days."
This wasn't enough to deter him, he pressed further, "Why can't they hire someone else? I want you on my crew!"
"It's a family business, and my parents want to keep it that way. Besides, I'm sure Sanji can make these just as well as I can." If not better.
"It's different when you make it! Plus I want you on my crew because I like you, not just for the food!" His neck stretched so he could look you in the eye while making the most pitiful face you've ever seen.
Malachi slammed a hand down onto the counter, "They said no, drop it already!"
That definitely caught both of your attentions, as well as drawing the eyes of some passersby. "Hush! It's fine, he doesn't mean anything by it, you need to calm down," you scolded him.
He looked like he wanted to say more, but his irritated expression went cold. His eyes widened and he abruptly took a few steps back while staring at Luffy.
You look down to try and figure out what's got him acting like that, but find no answers. Luffy had already gone back to staring at you with an innocent look on his face as if he was just as confused, "Machete is weird."
"Yeah, he is," you conceded while snorting at the incorrect name. It seems like Luffy hasn't gotten any better with names since the last time you saw him.
"It's Malachi, and I think I'm the most normal person here." He untied his apron and hurried out of the stall, "We're almost out of meat, I'm going to go get more."
"Alright, thank you!" You called after him. Your family home was just up the hill, he wouldn't be gone long.
Luffy's head settled back on your shoulder as you readjusted him, and he sighed. With all the food eaten, both of his arms were securely wrapped around your torso again. His fingers toyed with your shirt collar, "Please join my crew?" His voice was uncharacteristically quiet.
He sounded so morose that it tugged at your heart strings. It was flattering that he was so dead set on keeping you around, but it wasn't easy to just up and leave your whole life behind. Still, you couldn't bring yourself to turn him down outright again, "I'll think about it, okay?"
He shot up instantly, "Really?!" You were crushed against him in the tightest hug of your life while he nuzzled his head into yours. The second he was done, he let go and finally got off your back, "Awesome! I'll go tell Franky to make a bed for you!"
"I just said I'd think about it, I didn't say yes!" Your attempt to backpedal did nothing, Luffy had already taken off and was sprinting to the docks. You doubt he heard you.
"Oh boy," you heaved out a sigh as you dumped some more skewers into water to soak. "I hope that doesn't come back to bite me."
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wonwoonlight · 11 months
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conclusion number three | jeon wonwoo
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➝ Wonwoo x Reader
➝ fluff / slice of life / nonidol!au
➝ total word count: 1.4k
➝ notes, warnings: just them being cute. not proofread. wonwoo can be a lil ooc. Inspired by this post. i just love wonwoo so much, this is a wonwoo simp post. enjoy!
summary: you have a hypothesis you'd like to prove.
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Wonwoo, you've come to realize, loves being complimented.
He doesn't say it out loud, doesn't do anything that screams "compliment me!", but he's not very subtle about his smile either when someone genuinely compliments him about something.
It's something that you've only noticed recently, and you're still keen on proving this hypothesis by throwing in compliments on random intervals throughout the days just to see how he'd react.
"You look very nice today." You say out of nowhere when Wonwoo is looking down at his coffee.
He blinks, a little confused, though you don't miss the shy smile he sports that's gone as quick as it appears.
"Thank you? We've been sitting here for an hour, though?" He doesn't say out loud the question of why you're only saying this now, but it's there and you shrug carelessly.
Conclusion number one: compliments about his look doesn't bring as much as a reaction from him even though it's there.
When you pass by a pretty flower wall, you ask Wonwoo to take a picture of you, something that he happily complies with and never complains about. 
After taking a few shots, he proudly shows you the pictures and says that the pictures came out nicely though he can take more if there’s a certain angle you prefer. You're looking at him instead of your phone, haven't even properly looked at the pictures, but your hypothesis is more important now so you say it anyway.
"You're very good at taking pictures, aren't you?"
He tilts his head before he looks at you, then smiles before he adds nonchalantly as he scrolls through the pictures he’s just taken, making your whole face warm with his comment.
"You're just very pretty."
Conclusion number two: he can brush off compliments about his skill easily though he seems pleased either way. (Need to confirm by complimenting his other skill that can't be turned back to you. Smooth bastard.)
You stumble upon a small festival on your way to dinner. Deciding to eat there instead, you and Wonwoo make you way through the festival, looking at the stalls along the street. You swing your hand as you walk through the sea of people, a little too excited to notice you've been swinging it a little too much.
Wonwoo grabs your hand with a chuckle, and when you look at him in question, he shakes his head without offering any explanation.
Looking at your hand in his, you hum before you tighten your hold and feel Wonwoo returns the gesture.
"Your hand is very warm, I like it."
He stops in his tracks, his eyes soft as he pulls you closer to him.
"You're very cheesy today, aren't you?"
Hm. Of course he'll catch up. At least he'd never know why you're doing this.
"What? I can't compliment my boyfriend?" You try to sound nonchalant, accompanied by a shrug that Wonwoo doesn't really buy.
He doesn't prod though, because what's the use in prodding when he can just accept compliments from the person he loves? There's no reason whatsoever for him to hold it against you. So he shakes his head and you feel the soft brush of his thumb against your knuckle before he pulls you to walk again. 
You stop by a crepe stall because you're craving sweets, your body swaying a little due to your excitement; you can’t remember the last time you went to a festival, probably a few years back during university, and to be here with Wonwoo of all people makes everything exciting–even waiting for an overpriced crepe because you have him by your side.
You press your lips together to stop the embarrassing squeal that’s trying to get out of your lips when the food vendor hands you your crepe, which says a lot about how enthusiastic you really are about the whole thing. Wonwoo chuckles yet again, keeps it in his mind to find more festivals to go to if you're this enticed by the thing.
Seeing an empty bench a while ago, you make your way back there in hope it’s still empty so you can eat your crepe and the takoyaki Wonwoo has just bought in peace. Thankfully, it is still empty, an old couple sits on the bench next to you and a group of three guys on the bench next to them.
Wonwoo sets the takoyaki and the bubble teas between the two of you, enjoying the festival vibe as he nibbles on a piece of takoyaki. You happily eat your crepe too, though you eye his food and wonder if it’s good. You don’t usually like takoyakis, but they seem good today and you blame it on the vibe around you.
“Want to try some?” He asks when he notices you frowning at the treat he’s holding.
Your lips purse in thoughts, and he breaths a chuckle before he pushes it in front of your lips. You take a full bite, and regret it immediately because it’s hot and you panic when your crepe almost topples from your hands.
The sound of Wonwoo’s laughter fill your ears despite the noise around you, and even though he’s laughing, his hands are already busy taking the crepe from your grip and handing you your bubble tea so you can cool the inside of your mouth down. He hands you a napkin too, something you gratefully take as you cough into the thing.
You say a bunch of incoherent things which Wonwoo guesses is just you telling him to shut up, but the way your cheeks turn completely full and you’re flailing your hands are just nothing but adorable to him that he can’t help grinning despite his worry.
When you finally manage to swallow the takoyaki (which does taste good and you would’ve appreciated had the prior incident not existed), you hit him square in the shoulder for laughing at your misery.
“Good to know my boyfriend likes seeing me suffer.” You glare.
“You know it’s not that.” He says softly, the smile never leaving his face. Before you can say anything back, he absentmindedly reaches out to wipe the corner of your lip with his thumb, then licks whatever that was there and continues with his meal.
You blink continuously, your whole face warm and you have to bite your lip from smiling too hard. 
What the fuck?
It seems like something he does without even realizing, because when he notices you’ve frozen in place, he looks genuinely confused and asks what happened like he didn’t just do what he did in a very public place.
Wonwoo has never really been one for public affections though he takes care of you the same. He doesn’t mind holding hands; but that’s about it–everything else he does behind the comfort of your door.
“Hey.” He pokes your cheek. “Why are you lagging?”
“Not funny.” You look at him unimpressed before you take your crepe back in embarrassment, though that doesn’t discourage him to grin at his own little joke. “Also, nothing.” 
“Ah, young love.” You hear the grandma next to you say to her spouse, something that Wonwoo seems to catch too because he shares that look with you. “Remember when you used to do that to me, too?”
The grandpa’s voice is too small for you to catch on, but what she says next gets your heart beating in an arrhythmical beat and you force yourself to lock your gaze on Wonwoo despite your embarrassment, his eyes avoiding yours, the tip of his ears blazing red, and he’s pressing his lips together so hard as if to contain a smile.
“They seem very in love, don't they? The young man takes care of the girl so well, I hope our son takes care of his wife like that too.”
“You take care of me well, huh?” You whisper, and he pretends like he doesn’t hear you regardless of the way he looks down to hide his smile that he’s no longer able to contain.
You grin at this, and you take his face in your hands so he’ll look at you. You’re a little surprised at how warm his face is, and you decide to spare him from the teasing you were originally about to do and you say another thing instead.
“You do take care of me very well; I’m glad I have you with me.” 
Conclusion number three: Wonwoo loves it very much when someone compliments him on the way he is with you.
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linawritestwst · 1 year
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(a very late valentine's day special) how twst characters would fall in love with you!
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okay, so when i created this blog last year, i didn't have much time to write something for valentine's day, but i thought that i should try and write something for it this year!
at first i wanted to write something like "how twst characters would confess their love for you", i wanted it to be a reference to the "how twst characters would react to your love confession" series i made back when i just created this blog and i still only have the heartslabyul, savanaclaw and octavinelle hcs. i am sorry. but to be honest, i didn't have a lot of ideas and it was hard to find inspiration, so i decided to go with something different. but who knows, maybe i'll actually write it one day! also i know that this idea is very basic and i'm sorry.
this post has all nrc students (except ortho) + rsa and nbc characters, so GET READY BECAUSE THIS IS GONNA BE A VERY LONG POST.
also i'm having some really bad internet problems rn and even though i can use mobile data, EDITING ON MY PHONE IS A PAIN. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING. and idk when wifi will start working again and i'll be able to use my computer again, so sorry if this post looks weird, has typos and stuff like that, I JUST WANT TO POST IT ALREADY. I'M SICK OF SEEING IT IN MY DRAFTS.
heartslabyul.
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riddle rosehearts.
♡ he doesn't understand you at all. you should be afraid of him, you should actually hate him for what he did and how he acted earlier. he was the first to overblot in front of you, he's sure it was quite a traumatic memory from you. and it's not like he treated you better than he treated other nrc students, he was just as willing to punish you for any "misbehavior". so why.. why do you still want you and riddle to become closer? you simply don't think that riddle actually had bad intentions, he just genuinely thought that everything will be okay if he just follows the rules and makes others follow them. so.. you don't think he's a bad person or anything like that. just someone who has a lot of issues and doesn't know how to deal with them properly. and after you say that.. riddle starts feeling very strange.
♡ falling in love with you feels so sudden, riddle doesn't remember being this interested in you when he first met you. he has to admit that he even kind of.. looked down on you back then and didn't think you were that special. though the case of you being the only magicless student here really was special. he also was angry at you because of you being so close with ace and deuce.. but now, he feels different. as he learns more about you and starts getting used to your company, he realizes that he actually likes you a lot. he even admires you, because it must be hard to deal with so much stuff as someone who's magicless he's sorry for being the first to overblot btw. he's always here if you need any help.
♡ why did he fall in love with you? well, you're certainly a very smart, strong and kind person, but the main reason was.. he was just happy to be understood by someone. he didn't expect you out of all people to forgive him, but it sure was a nice surprise. you're always here to calm him down when he's close to using his unique magic or yelling at someone for breaking the rules again, however, you don't blame him for acting like that and you say that his feelings are valid, he just has to find a better way to express them and process them. so.. it probably just feels nice to be seen as someone other than a rose-red tyrant.
ace trappola.
♡ as someone who said some pretty bad things about you and grim when you first met.. wow, it feels embarrassing to admit that he has a crush on you now. imagine making fun of a magicless human and then falling in love with them. yeah, that's ace. so, how did it happen? he's not sure when exactly he got feelings for you, it just.. happened. you two became so close, he actually couldn't imagine spending a day without you. everything just feels so boring when you're not around. pranking you or showing off to you or just talking to you makes his day, even if it's just you going "ACE D:<", he loves seeing your reactions.. and maybe, he loves you.
♡ it's hard to notice him acting any different when he's in love with you, but if you pay closer attention, you can see him blushing after you praise him for something or you can notice him asking you to hang out with him more often. he also sometimes freezes for a moment when you call him your friend, it's almost like he's asking you ".. but are you sure you don't wanna be more than friends?". but right after that, he goes back to his usual behavior and he's surprisingly good at hiding his crush on you.
♡ falling in love with you feels fun and kinda sad at the same time, because even though ace tries so hard to act confident and he claims that you love him just as much, he's actually not sure if you love him back or not. he doesn't mind being seen only as a friend, being friends with you is cool, but also.. yeah, he wants more. and he's not sure if he's ready for a serious relationship, considering what he did in the past to that girl he used to date. he knows that he would never do that to you, because you're so much cooler than that girl and you're much more interesting, but he also doesn't want to let you down. but if you do love him back.. he will try his best to treat you right, though it doesn't mean that you will be safe from his teasing and his pranks.
deuce spade.
♡ out of all the heartslabyul boys, i imagine deuce being the one to get a crush on you earlier than all the others. you're just so nice and sweet and understanding.. you also didn't judge him after you heard about his past and even said that you're proud of him for trying to change and become a better person. after that, deuce couldn't get your words out of his head and became extremely loyal to you, he's always here if you need any help and he feels so happy when you praise him or want to spend time with him.
♡ it's very easy to notice him having a crush on you, honestly. he tries really hard to hide it, but he fails and ace laughs at him every time. he can't say anything properly when you compliment him or smile at him and he starts stuttering, giggling like an idiot or he simply runs away and ends up tripping and falling. it makes him even more cute though and you can give him more attention to get more reactions like that from him or you can pretend not to notice on purpose.
♡ falling in love with you feels like something completely new and that's understandable, deuce has never experienced a feeling like this before. and even though at first it was just a very huge crush, now it actually feels like something more deep, it's like.. he really is in love with you. spending the rest of his life with you sounds scary and he's not sure if he's ready for something like this, but when he imagines it, it makes him feel soft and even kind of excited. he will understand if you reject his feelings, he has not the best past, but if you say yes to him, he will try to become the perfect boyfriend for you. he already knew that he wants to become a better person for his mom, but now he has two people in his life that he wants to change for.
cater diamond.
♡ when cater first met you, he thought you were cute but.. that was it. he didn't think much of you, honestly. don't get him wrong, he thought you were very cute and he would love to be friends with you! but.. he really didn't think that he's gonna fall in love with you later. he just enjoyed hanging out with you, talking to you, he loved the way you smile, he loved the way you laugh and.. wait, that's just him thinking you're cute, right? but not, like, in that way, right? because cater doesn't think he's quite ready to admit that he has feelings for you.
♡ cater is not sure how exactly it happened and why he got a crush on you. it's like.. he just feels more safe around you. it's like he can actually show you his real self and you won't judge him. of course, he's still not sure that you would actually be okay with him acting like his real self and he doubts that you would even like that side of his.. but for some reason he still feels like he can trust you. so he may or may not drop a few hints that make you go "cater. dude. are you okay." no, y/n, he's not okay, this poor man needs a hug.
♡ falling in love with you feels exciting and terrifying at the same time. cater feels truly happy when he's with you, he manages to forget about his problems at least for some time and his smile looks a lot more sincere than usual. but he's also.. scared. he doesn't think that you will love him back once you find out about his real personality, maybe you will accept it, sure, but would you really want a boyfriend like that? honestly, he should be grateful for you wanting to spend time with him even when he's being his "fake" self. he shouldn't ask so much from you, he should thank you for even just being friends with him. so whenever cater hears you laugh at his jokes, he feels genuine happiness but only for a second before he remembers that you will most likely never love him as much as he loves you. or will you?..
trey clover.
♡ just like cater, trey thought you were a nice person, but he didn't think you were.. you know.. his future love or something like that. he thought you were cute and he was always there to suggest his help if you needed it, but he really just thought that you two are gonna be friends and that's all. okay, maybe you two will be close friends. like, very close friends. but that's it. trey gave you so much attention and he had a habit to get a little bit too worried about you for no reason at all, but he thought that you're just.. well.. another younger sibling figure to him (your actual age doesn't matter). why else would he care so much about you?
♡ but oh no. it looks like you're actually something more to him. you're not just another younger sibling figure going "trey, i need your help!! ><". he would seriously think that he just likes you platonically and if it wasn't for cater, he would never realize that he actually likes you romantically. so what if he blushes a bit when you compliment his baking. so what if he thinks about you so often that it distracts him from his vice dorm leader duties. so what if he imagined spending the rest of his life with you- okay. okay, he understands what cater means now. maybe he really is in love with you.
♡ falling in love with you feels confusing for sure, but it also feels soft and sweet. trey may be a local mom friend who's always here to help his underclassmen out, but he has no idea what to do with his own feelings. should he just confess to you already or should he wait a bit? wait, do you even love him back? he has so many questions but almost no answers. but if you do love him back, trey will most likely notice it eventually. he's a smart boy, he had no idea that he actually has romantic feelings for you, but if you have a crush on him, he will definitely find out about it and when he does, he might start teasing you even more often.
savanaclaw.
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leona kingscholar.
♡ oh boy. this guy definitely didn't expect to fall in love with you. no, he didn't expect to even become friends with you. you were just a weak little herbivore to him, nothing special, nothing out of ordinary. you were very a bit annoying sometimes too. but when you started saying things like "i want to get to know you better" or "i want to talk to you more".. that's when leona got very confused, though he didn't show it. why would you say things like that? what do you even want from him? is it because he's a prince? oh well, sorry to disappoint you, but he's actually a younger- "i just want to know why you're so lazy all the time.".. okay, this wasn't the answer he expected. he will tell you to go away, but don't pay attention to that, he's actually more interested in you now.
♡ leona just can't understand why you're like this. why do you spend so much time with him? why can't you just let him nap in peace? he actually jokes about you having a crush on him once and he expects you to go "h-how can you say things like that so casually!..". but you manage to surprise him again. "well what if i do? what are you gonna do then, huh?" okay, maybe he did underestimate you a little. just a little bit. you're slowly becoming more and more interesting and he hates to admit that he wants to know more about you. why? well.. he wants to know why you're so annoying all the time.
♡ falling in love with you feels weird, but also surprisingly entertaining. leona never knows what you're gonna do next and for some reason he even finds it exciting. he somehow manages to act like a tsundere and flirt with you at the same time. yes, he will go "ugh, why do you have to ruin my day like this" whenever you step on his tail while he's asleep, but he also will say things that make other savanaclaw students think that he's about to confess his feelings for you OR you two are actually already dating. does he know that he's in love with you though?.. he will need some time, but he will eventually realize it. and he's not gonna be happy about it.
ruggie bucchi.
♡ ruggie didn't really pay much attention to you at first, but he has to say that you're really fun to mess with. he never gets bored of seeing your reactions and sometimes he would steal stuff from you just to make you look at him. he knows that it probably sounds weird, but don't worry, he definitely doesn't have a crush on you, haha.. hey, why are you being so kind to him? why do you cook/buy food for him? why do you keep asking him if he needs any help? ah, maybe you just want a favor from him? you want him to help you with something, don't you? why would you have any other reason- "i'm just worried about you, that's all." oh no. oh no he's about to catch feelings.
♡ your kindness scares ruggie a bit, but he also keeps wanting more. he doesn't understand your motives, he doesn't understand why you're so worried about him. you just say things like "oh, i thought you were tired from doing leona's job all day" or "i thought you looked tired, so i just want to help you out, if that's okay". they may sound like nothing special, but ruggie feels weird whenever he hears you say stuff like that. he just jokes about you being too pure for someone like him, but he's actually kind of serious about it. are you sure you want to be friends with him? or.. maybe you're actually in love with him? don't worry, he's just joking around~
♡ falling in love with you feels fun at first, but it slowly starts becoming more and more scary when ruggie realizes just how deep and strong his feelings are. it's not just a small crush, he really is in love with you. he can't stop thinking about you and not a day passes without him wanting to see you. it feels strange to be treated so well without any reason at all, but ruggie just can't say no to your kindness. even though he keeps trying to make it look like it's nothing serious and you're just friends, he's actually this close to crying because he feels like he will never have a chance to be with you and you will never love him as much as he loves you. why would you even have feelings for him anyway?
jack howl.
♡ savanaclaw boys wouldn't find you that special when they first meet you and jack is not an exception. he thought you still have a long way to go and you have to put more effort in what you do. he also thought you looked too weak and "fragile", so he made sure to remind you to train more often, if you can, or to just take better care of yourself. i-it's not like he's worried about you. it just bothers him that you always look so tired all the time and it doesn't look like you get enough sleep too..
♡ however, you manage to impress jack and he's surprised to find out just how hardworking you really are. no matter what happens or how hard your life in twisted wonderland may get, you still try to achieve your goals. sure, you may whine a bit and say that it's unfair for a magicless human like you to go through so much, but you still do what you have to, no matter how weak you look. jack sure finds you more impressive than leona and he doesn't even notice how fast he starts to admire you and even fall in love with you.
♡ falling in love with you doesn't feel like something special because jack isn't even aware of his own feelings at first. he just thinks you're very cool and he respects you a lot and wishes to help you whenever he can. he just always wants to be by your side and support you when you need it. you're much stronger than he thought you were when you two just met, but he still thinks that in a world like twisted wonderland.. you deserve to be protected. and he's more than willing to protect you from whatever life throws at you. he realizes that he's actually in love with you when he notices that he feels a bit weird when you're around. this feeling is warm, but also so confusing.. and whenever you say goodbye to him, he doesn't want you to leave. b-but that's just because he admires you a lot, right?
octavinelle.
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azul ashengrotto.
♡ azul didn't think you'd be that useful to him at first. it's not like he can make a deal with you or take your magic.. but still, being friends with a ramshackle prefect might actually help him in the future. so yes, he will try to become closer with you anyway. he's sure it will be easy to make you trust him, he just needs to make you believe that you can rely on him and who wouldn't want to have a friend like azul in such a scary world, especially as a human who has no idea how twisted wonderland works?.. well, it's actually not as easy as azul thought it would be.
♡ sure, you do want to become friends with him, but whenever he tries to help you with whatever you're struggling with (for a price, of course) or he tries to make himself seem as a kind person who genuinely wants to help others, you simply go "thank you, but i'm fine".. what do you mean, you're fine, y/n, he knows what crowley makes you do, just ask azul for help already! but as time passes, azul starts to notice that he actually wants to help you not because he needs you to make a deal with him.. but just because he really does feel bad for you and he wants to make your job at least a bit easier.
♡ falling in love with you feels strange and unexpected, azul wasn't prepared for this at all. he didn't think that he would actually become so attached to you, you were supposed to be another student who he can manipulate, so why do you feel like one of the most important people in his life now? he doesn't think that it's love at first, him thinking of you as his actual friend is already too much for him.. but then his overblot happens. and you forgive him for everything. and you tell him that no matter what, you accept him and even though he still has some.. um.. not so good qualities to work on, you'll be there to help him and support him. okay, maybe he actually is in love with you.
jade leech.
♡ jade thought you were an interesting and unique person right when he met you for the first time, but you were just that: an interesting and unique person. nothing more, nothing less. he would love to know more about you though, so don't be surprised if he starts talking to you more often or asking you more questions. this man wants to study you in a lab, okay. oh, and even though he sure does seem suspicious, he actually doesn't have any ulterior motives, unlike azul. he just can't go "hey, i like you, let's be friends', no, he has to act like his usual self that sometimes seems more dangerous than floyd.
♡ he doesn't even notice falling in love with you, but he sure notices becoming more interested in you for some reason. he always wants to know what you're up to, he wants to know more about your interests and he's always here if you need someone to talk to, whatever the topic is. he only starts thinking more about his feelings for you when floyd mentions jade being "totally in love with you". jade thinks floyd is just joking at first, but then floyd says that he was serious and jade's crush on you is more obvious than he thinks. and the funny thing is that.. jade is surprisingly casual about it. he just goes "oh. so i have a crush on them. okay". he never felt like this before, so he's a little confused, but it's not like he's about to have a breakdown because he just realized he's been in love with you this whole time.
♡ falling in love with you feels sweet and exciting. jade just thought you were a fun person when he first met you, but now it's hard for him to imagine his day without you. you've made him feel emotions he has never/rarely felt before. it's so unusual for him to worry about you, laugh at your jokes or be angry at someone who ruined your day. and trust him, all of those emotions are sincere. he's not pretending, you really made him feel all of this and even though he's not used to feeling this way, he can't wait to find out what else you're going to make him feel.
floyd leech.
♡ just like his twin, floyd already thought you were interesting when he just met you. he always followed you everywhere, he kept pranking you just to see your reaction and he thought that you getting annoyed with him was cute. and he found you even more interesting after he realized that even though he kept messing with you, you still let him hang out with you and didn't ask him to leave. huh, so you actually like his company, shrimpy? well, he's glad to hear that~
♡ floyd's feelings for you don't feel like a crush at all at first. he just thinks you're cute and that's it, really. but for some reason, he really hates it when he has to leave or when you don't give him enough attention. sometimes he takes a break (he doesn't tell azul anything though) from his work at mostro lounge just to hang out with you and he feels bored whenever you're not around. he has no idea why he feels like this, but.. who knows, maybe he really does like you, hehe.
♡ falling in love with you feels fun and full of surprises. floyd has never felt this way before and even though this feeling can be kinda annoying sometimes and it doesn't go away, he wants your relationship to become deeper and he wants to have more fun with you. just being friends is not enough for him anymore. you became an irreplaceable and extremely important part of his world and he hopes you feel the same about him.
scarabia.
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kalim al-asim.
♡ kalim is kinda oblivious when it comes to crushes.. no, he's very oblivious. he really does believe he just likes you as a friend and even though it's true at first, as time passes, literally anyone can see that kalim treats you even better than people who he calls his friends. and considering how kind and friendly he is, this guy basically never leaves you alone even for a second and you get gifts from him every single day. he's constantly trying to come up with ways to make you happy and he thinks you have the most beautiful smile in the whole world. but yes, he definitely doesn't have a crush on you <3
♡ you and kalim would most likely have that friends to lovers dynamic. he's very easy to get along with and even though his energetic personality may be overwhelming sometimes, if he sees that you're tired or sad, he will tone it down a bit and ask you what's wrong. if you're not doing so well, he will genuinely worry about you a lot and he's okay with doing anything to make you feel better. he doesn't understand why your happiness matters to him so much, but.. maybe he just doesn't like it when someone is sad. and when YOU are sad, he feels like it's the end of the world and he has to do something about it immediately.
♡ kalim almost doesn't notice falling in love with you. he just thinks your friendship is becoming stronger and that's it. it's okay if he wants to hug you for a little bit longer, that's just because you're his best friend! it's okay if he wants to hold hands with you, he just doesn't want you to get lost and he's worried about you! it's okay if he wants to kiss you- oh. uh.. oh, you know, he means it in a platonic way! it's not like friends can't kiss each other! but if he actually wants to be more than friends with you.. would you be okay with that? wait, what is he even supposed to do with his feelings? maybe he should ask jamil for advice..
jamil viper.
♡ jamil's case is actually even worse because if kalim at least knows that you two have a good relationship and that you are friends, jamil is like "?? idk who you are to me. can i trust you. can i call you my friend". he thought you were okay when he first met you, but didn't pay too much attention to you, though he certainly appreciated you being.. you know, a more "normal" person than most nrc students (especially kalim). he actually feels like he can rely on you, honestly. he won't talk to you too much though, who knows what you're really like jamil if you're hiding something it doesn't mean that everyone around you is like that
♡ jamil doesn't understand why he feels so strange around you. at first he feels like he can trust you, even though he still tries to stop himself and tells himself that you can easily stab him in the back. and why are you so nice to him? you're probably just trying to become friends because you think that having a close relationship with someone like him could be useful, right? well, he's not gonna fall for that. and stop praising him all the time already. he told you that he's just a vice dorm leader and his abilities are not that special- wait, why does he feel good after hearing your compliments. oh no. oh no, he doesn't want you to stop.
♡ falling in love with you feels scary and jamil doesn't want to admit that he sees you not only as a friend (though he won't tell you that), but also as someone who he loves and wants to be with. you actually listen to him, you give him love and attention that he always wanted and you recognize his talents, but you still think that they are not the only good things about him and jamil is also just a very good person who deserves to be loved. jamil doesn't feel like he's ready to open up to you just yet, but he really doesn't want to miss a chance to finally find someone who will care about him as much as he cares about them.
pomefiore.
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vil schoenheit.
♡ your relationship with vil definitely had a rough start. he criticized you a lot, he told you to take better care of your appearance, health and all of that. you felt like this guy hates you and tried to avoid him as best as you could. however, you were wrong and even though vil still thought that you could do better and you have some things to work on, he didn't hate you. in fact, he thought you were an interesting person who has their own talents and abilities, but they have to work on them more so that they can achieve their goals faster. so yeah, he basically tried to motivate you, but he probably didn't do a very good job.
♡ other people can notice vil giving you quite a lot of attention but not in a good way. it means that he's especially harsh on you. most students start to agree with you and think that the guy hates you, but his vice dorm leader knows that it's not true at all. rook is sure that vil is being so rude just because he believes you're better than most nrc students and he wants you to reach your full potential. but wow, it really feels like vil is almost obsessed with you. rook mentions that vil almost never stops talking about you lately and vil says that it's not true- no, rook, don't even joke about vil having a crush on you.
♡ even though vil sure has a lot of braincells, he almost doesn't notice falling in love with you as well. he really thinks he's just mad at you for not "trying hard enough", but this guy actually cares about you a lot. it may seem like he's angry at you and he hates you, but he's actually just very worried. what do you mean your sleep schedule doesn't even exist. go to sleep already, don't you know what happens to your skin if you don't get enough rest?? no, he's not worried about your health, it's just. uh. anyway, what about your hair-
rook hunt.
♡ finally. finally someone who actually knows they have feelings for you. though it may take some time for rook to realize that he's in love with you and not just admiring your beauty, he still would understand his feelings for you earlier than most characters here. he understands how romance works better than them, okay. very chad behavior of him sure, he thinks all people are beautiful in their own way, but you feel a little bit more special to him. his heart beats faster around you and he finds it hard to take his eyes off you. he never felt like this before around other students or people in general.
♡ rook would be very affectionate with you, however, he would take his time and wouldn't confess his feelings for you that early. he wants his confession to feel unique and special, he has to be prepared for that moment! he also needs some time to learn more about you. he wants to get to know you better, he wants to know what kind of person you are, how you see the world and he hopes that this way he will be able to predict your reaction to his confession. but of course, he doesn't do it just to earn your trust, he really is curious and wants to know more. you're just so interesting to him, he wants to know what exactly made him fall in love with you this hard.
♡ falling in love with you feels like a fairytale. it's so magical and exciting, rook wishes he never stops feeling this way. you are everything to him, all of his thoughts are about you and he's not complaining. he may joke about you distracting him from everything else, but he's actually more than happy and he doesn't mind being obsessed with you at all. yes, he may still compliment other people's beauty and talents, but don't worry, he has eyes only for you and he's more loyal to you than you think he is.
epel felmier.
♡ unless you make fun of his height, call him cute too often or refuse to take him seriously, epel wouldn't mind your company at all. who knows, maybe you two can actually become friends. and you do become friends! how fun! epel didn't expect to get along with you so easily, but he's more than okay with it. he's glad to have someone he can trust enough to talk about his true feelings and show his true personality to. he's more open and honest with you and he feels like you would never judge him no matter what he does or says.
♡ this feeling slowly starts turning into deep love and affection for you, though epel doesn't seem to notice that and still thinks you're just a friend to him. but he does notice feeling a bit more anxious around you now. why? well, it's like.. he wants to become better for you. he wants to impress you. h-he doesn't have a reason for that, really. he just.. wants you to notice how great and talented he really is. he wants you to praise him and smile at hiim while saying that what he did was amazing. again, he doesn't have a reason for that. totally.
♡ falling in love with you feels sweet and bitter at the same time. epel feels safe when you're around and he feels like he can tell you anything, but he's also scared that you actually don't think he's that special. he does slowly start to realize he's in love with you and that makes him feel even more scared. he needs to become a better person for you, he needs to become stronger, he wants to become someone who can protect you, who can impress you and who you can rely on. so forgive him for taking some time to work on that, he promises that he will tell you the truth when he's ready.
ignihyde.
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idia shroud.
♡ idia genuinely doesn't understand why you're so nice to him. it actually scares him a little and he never knows what to expect from you. you're not as extroverted as some other nrc students, like kalim for example, but you still always run to idia whenever you see him and try to talk to him more. what do you want from him? you're just doing this out of pity, aren't you? it's okay, you don't have to give him so much attention, idia loves being alone, also he has online friends, so it's not like he's a complete loner or anything.
♡ you still try to get to know him better. you just want to help idia get out of his shell and become more confident. you don't think that being an introvert is a bad thing at all, but you still think that idia should start socializing more anyway. and you're sure that idia wants to make more friends as well, he's just afraid of being rejected. no, idia, you don't think that all these people are normies, you're just scared of them and trying to come up with an excuse so that you don't have to talk to them.
♡ falling in love with you feels sudden and predictable at the same time. of course idia shroud would fall for a person who's always there to support him and genuinely wants to become friends with him. he's affection-starved, okay? he may say that you can be really annoying sometimes, but he actually waits for you to text him or say hi to him every single day and if for some reason you can't talk to him, he feels lost and.. sad, even? please, don't leave him alone.. he knows that he's most likely too lame or boring for you, but he can't stand the thought of you leaving him.
diasomnia.
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malleus draconia.
♡ i wouldn't call it love at first sight, but right after malleus met you, he knew that you're gonna become someone special to him. you didn't know anything about him. you didn't know his real name, status, his real identity. you didn't care about his reputation and you simply thought he seemed like an interesting person to talk to. he also seemed a little lonely too and you really could use a friend in a world like this, so yeah, that's how all of it started. he thought that the nickname you gave him was cute too.
♡ malleus gets used to your company too quickly. in fact, he can't imagine what he would do if you suddenly disappeared or simply lost interest in him. he got used to your kindness, to your smile, to your laugh, to your affection. his world becomes more warm and fun when you're around. but of course, he doesn't want this relationship to be too one-sided. he would do anything to protect you, help you or simply make you smile. you deserve the same happiness that you give him.
♡ falling in love with you feels soft and sweet, but also.. scary. malleus feels so happy when you're around, whenever he wakes up, he immediately thinks of you. you're everything to him. so if he loses you.. he will lose everything. he can't let you leave him. of course, he knows that you come from a different world and twisted wonderland isn't your home. he knows that you will leave him sooner or later. but.. is it selfish of him to want you to stay here for as long as possible? maybe you don't even have to leave?
lilia vanrouge.
♡ lilia thought you were cute right when he first met you. your reactions to his sudden appearances were so funny, it was hard for him to stop surprising you like this. at first your relationship dynamic was just like that, lilia kept surprising/scaring you, you screamed, he laughed and asked you to not be mad at him, he just likes your reactions too much. but as he started learning more about you, he realized that there are so many things he likes about you and it's not just you being an adorable scaredy-cat.
♡ for some reason, even though you wouldn't be able to tell from his behavior, lilia feels very calm when you're around. it's like his thoughts about his past and everything that he had to go through during his very, VERY long life can finally give him a break when he's with you. he doesn't have to worry about that, he can just stay here in present. and actually, he likes staying in present much more now thanks to you. but you're so naive, so innocent, so fragile, lilia thinks it's cute but he's also extremely worried about you because of that. you weren't made for this world. no matter how much you get praised for your job as a prefect, twisted wonderland is still too much for someone like you.
♡ lilia falls in love with you slowly, but when it happens, it feels so overwhelming, lilia has no idea what to do. he knows that having a romantic relationship with you is probably not the best idea considering that you'll have to leave this world someday and even if you don't.. he also doesn't have much time left. but if it's possible, if there's at least a tiny chance of him being in a happy relationship with you, he doesn't want to miss that chance. he may not have much time left, but he would do anything to spend all of that time with you.
silver.
♡ you and silver become friends surprisingly quickly. he knows he can trust you to wake him up when he falls asleep again, even though you think he looks very cute when he's asleep and you want him to get enough rest. whenever silver blames himself for being too lazy or incompetent, you're always here to remind him that he's already doing his best and he doesn't have to be so harsh on himself. he definitely will become a great knight one day no matter what, you believe in him!
♡ your kind words and your support make silver enjoy hanging out with you too much. he lets you watch him train, he finds it relaxing to take a nap when you're there with him and you run your fingers through his hair while he's asleep. even though he seems like a chill guy, he's scared of letting his father and his master down, but he always can rely on you when doesn't feel confident enough and he needs someone to tell him that everything is gonna be fine and lilia and malleus are already proud of him. and you're proud of him too.
♡ falling in love with you feels like a dream that he doesn't want to wake up from. he never thought his life was that bad, but it surely got better thanks to you. he wants to thank you for everything you did for him, he wants to protect you from all the dangers of this world. he knows that he wanted to become a knight so that he can repay lilia and malleus, but now.. he wants to be your knight as well. no, please, don't worry about him, he genuinely wants to do it. you always give him motivation to keep going and it would be an honor for him to become someone who can always protect you.
sebek zigvolt.
♡ yeah, your relationship with sebek wouldn't be that good at first. you two would argue a lot, he would never stop calling you a "lowly human" even though he's a half-human himself. and if you even think of saying anything bad about malleus, that's it, he's this close to killing you on sight. and you did hate sebek for acting like that at first, but as time passed, for some reason you actually started finding it.. entertaining? you loved to make him angry on purpose and then you decided to start teasing and even flustering him. yes, you did flirt with him multiple times just to see what kind of reaction he would give you, so what?
♡ sebek doesn't know how to feel about you. he knows he's supposed to think you're weak and pathetic because, you know, you're a human, but.. why does he feel so weird when you throw your dumb pickup lines at him? and why he feels like he actually wants to be praised by you and he wants you to notice how talented he really is? he knows that you're most likely not being serious most of the time, but he really wants you to be serious for once. uh, he just wants to be praised by you because he deserves it and that's it. it doesn't mean he wants you to be serious when you flirt with him, haha..
♡ sebek really didn't want to fall in love with you and he didn't expect to catch feelings for someone like you, but it still happened. he just doesn't understand why you still hang out with him even though he doesn't treat you that well. and how is he supposed to react when you tease him like that? he knows he should stay serious, but for some reason he just can't control his emotions when he's around you even though he's never that good at controlling them. he also realizes that even though you're a human, you're capable of doing many things and.. ugh, he really doesn't want to say it, but you're actually just as good as some magic users. y-you still have a lot to work on though.
royal sword academy.
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chenya.
♡ you and chenya first met during that one unbirthday party after riddle's overblot. you were surprised to find out that a guy from a different school (and a rival school too!) was able to get here so easily and didn't care what nrc students will think of him. and also you thought that the way he could easily appear and disappear as he pleases (or he could just stay as a floating head) was funny. so yes, this guy managed to pique your curiosity.
♡ chenya himself thought you were quite interesting and he was even more surprised when he found out that you came to rsa secretly from other students just to see him. haha, you really betrayed your own school like this for him! wow, y/n, that's something only a lovestruck person would do! but he has to admit, he likes you even more now. just what kind of person are you? you're so full of mysteries and chenya isn't sure if he wants to know all the answers or it would be more interesting to keep it this way.
♡ falling in love with you is fun and exciting. you keep spending more time with chenya no matter what other nrc students think and chenya likes to make jokes about stealing you from nrc students so that you never have to leave him. is he just joking though?.. well, it doesn't matter. what matters more is that you both always end up having so much fun and you feel so comfortable with each other that there's been multiple times when one of you was very close to kissing the other. and lately, it's been very hard for you both to control your feelings.
neige leblanche.
♡ when you first heard of neige, you couldn't believe that someone like that actually existed. i mean, someone more beautiful and popular than vil? is that even possible? and when you finally saw him for the first time.. you were a bit underwhelmed. yes, neige is definitely very pretty, he's adorable, actually, but.. is that really it? but when you actually meet each other, you find it surprising just how nice neige really is. he's very polite, he treats you with kindness and makes sure you're comfortable. oh no, he's so cute, you're about to fall in love-
♡ you actually feel kind of pathetic for getting a crush on neige. it's just.. so predictable, you're really not that special and you're not any better than his fans. you doubt that he will ever notice you, you're just a magicless human from a different world, you don't deserve to be with someone like him. but what you don't know is that neige fell in love with you right when he first saw you. not because of your appearance, even though he thinks you're really pretty, but because of your personality, the way you treat other people and stay kind and patient no matter what. it's very impressive for someone who was basically forced to stay in this world against their will.
♡ falling in love with you feels like neige's life turned into an actual romance movie, but this time he doesn't know anything about the plot, especially the ending. he sure hopes you two will get your happy ending though. neige loves his fans and he really doesn't want to make them sad, he knows that dating someone when he's this popular is not the best decision, but he really, really wants to be with you. this is what true love feels like to him.
noble bell college.
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rollo flamme.
♡ you were a bit intimidated by rollo when you first met him, you just.. thought he was a bit scary, haha. but then you noticed just how kind he is to you and that even though he's polite to all nrc students, you're a special case and you certainly are his "favorite". he also was the first person who actually thought you didn't deserve to go through all of this and that it must be very scary and overwhelming for you to have no other choice but to stay in this world full of danger and.. magic. so yes, you got used to his kindness pretty quickly, even though you still had a feeling that something is not quite right.
♡ and yeah, it turned out that rollo really wasn't the best person to trust. he hated magic with all his heart and he wanted it to disappear. and it was hard for him to choose between his growing love for you and his hatred for magic, but then he managed to convince himself that he's doing all of this for your own good and in the end you'll have no other choice but to agree with him. after rollo is defeated, he expects you to hate him as much as others hate him, but to his shock.. you forgive him. you had to deal with six overblots, even though nrc students saved the day this time, it's not like they're much better than him. so yes, you think rollo still can change and you want to give him a second chance.
♡ after that, rollo's love for you becomes even stronger. he can't stop thinking about you and it's hard to tell if he's in love with you or he's obsessed with you. when you have to go back to nrc, it gets even worse and everything around rollo reminds him of you. he really wishes you could spend more time together and he wasn't so focused on his plan. he's gonna be honest, he doesn't really regret doing.. well, all that, but the fact that he could use that time to talk to you more makes him think that maybe.. maybe trying to steal everyone's magic wasn't a good idea. yes, he thinks so only because he could spend more time with you instead of taking everyone's powers. listen, he needs some time, he will change. probably. maybe.
2K notes · View notes
jeongheart · 7 months
Text
super shy
summary: he's been receiving these letters for the past year but, he doesn't know your name, does he?
w.c: 7.1k.
tags: friends to lovers, fluff, slice of life.
a.n: this is the longest fic i ever written omg, i've been playing new jeans latest comeback for a few days and this is the result lol. as always, english is not my first language so sorry in advance for any mistakes. leave your thoughts if you liked it, means a lot!
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It was there again.
Sitting immaculately on top of his messy folders, the envelope was white without any type of decoration, the owner of the cursive handwriting wouldn't even risk placing a sticker since it could give a clue, even minimal, about who was behind it.
The classroom was almost empty, since recess ended a few minutes ago and the students were still lazily getting up from the grass where they were lying, not wanting to lock themselves in a room again for hours while the day was shining beautifully outside the building.
However, Chan looked around him, narrowing his eyes as he scanned his classmates for the smallest trace of uneasiness as he took the envelope in his hands. But he didn't find any, unless the author had a master's degree in poker face no one around him seemed interested in what he was doing.
After the failed scrutiny, he sat down again with no care on the wooden bench, eager to read what that person had to say today. This excited feeling was new for him, the letters had been arriving about a year ago, right at the beginning of the new semester and at first, Chan found it funny. Surely one of his friends (he bet his life on either Seungmin or Minho, those two were always up to something no matter how much they said they weren't) found it fun to piss him off this year, after all, it has been a long time since his last relationship and sometimes he felt the need of affection, so the "joke" made perfect sense in his head.
He didn't read them the first few months, he just crumpled them up and kept them in a hidden place in his backpack, to let whoever was behind them know that he wasn't interested. But they kept coming even after that vile act against someone's real feelings; and that was when Chan began to question if there really was a person genuinely interested in him, interested enough to send him handwritten letters as if they were living in a classic romance novel. The person had a beautiful vocabulary, and it was clear that they paid attention to details that he didn't even noticed about himself.
The notes weren't very long since they didn't exceed ten lines, but each word was full of admiration and affection. They always reminded him to eat and take care of his health, in addition to telling him day by day one of the qualities why his mysterious person had fallen in love with him. Chan blushed every time he read those reasons, it was no secret (to himself, since he didn't like others to know) that he didn't think very highly of himself; from his point of view there was nothing nice or admirable about his existence. But this person believed just the opposite, and they had made their life's mission to let him know that every day.
Today was no exception, the lined sheets were a pastel color (pink? orange?) and had small animal decorations at the bottom and top (he noticed that these came in "groups", the representative animal of these last ten notes was a smiling giraffe). It was incredibly adorable, and Chan found himself laughing softly every time he took out the contents of the envelope.
'Mondays are always hard! Especially this time of year (can't the professors trust in me and my knowledge of things? I don't see the need for them to take a test).
Anyway, Channie, this weekend I found myself thinking a lot about you, every time I start writing my reasons I feel like I'm going to be left speechless but then I remember that it's not difficult at all to love you. So here is another one:
Your resilience, I greatly admire your ability to always get up no matter how many blows life throws at you. The vast majority of us feel discouraged by the slightest inconvenience, but not you. And that is something incredible.
I hope you have a beautiful start to the week, remember to eat your meals and feel the sun.
Fondly,'
And that's how all the letters ended, the author seemed to hesitate every time they traced the last line, he could feel the uncertainty even on the paper. Chan knew that they were shy and always wondered when they were going to stop being to finally sign with their name and be able to meet that person who stole his heart with every word.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。
He was reading the note, hunched over his things, almost shielding the contents of the paper from the prying eyes of anyone who passed by him. You knew he was going to do it (he always did) but you couldn't stop your heart from racing like it was the first time it happened. You watched him from the hallway, hiding behind one of your textbooks while a silly smile appeared on your face, nothing made you happier than making him happy with your words, it's true what people say about "butterflies in the stomach" because that was what you were feeling right now.
His eyes crinkled in the most adorable way possible every time he smiled and from your spot in the hallway you could almost hear the sigh he let out after finishing reading the letter. After scanning his surroundings one last time, Chan placed the paper back into the envelope, and carefully placed it inside his notebook.
"You and your Shakespeare complex again" The sudden voice of your best friend so close made you jump in your place and drop the book you had in your hands. It hit the ground with a dull sound due to the thickness of its contents, and when you picked up the book again you turned around to face the figure of the perpetrator. He just laughed at you and your reaction, which earned him a closed-fist blow directly to his shoulder.
"You deserve it" You didn't even bother to return his reproachful gaze since he clearly felt like fighting, and instead, you returned your focus to Chan's classroom and his figure. He was no longer in his seat and you didn't want to look weird by leaning out the window door to look for him. So you sighed heavily and leaned your body against the wall while closing your eyes.
Until you felt Jeongin's presence come to your side "Are you going to tell him sometime?"
You didn't answer him.
Well, actually you did, with a growl that could mean either 'I'll do it today, stop bothering' or 'not even dead'. However, the blonde wasn't satisfied with your interpretation of an animal as a response and he began poking your ribs with his long fingers, drawing high-pitched sounds of protest from your lips.
"Stop it, Innie" You moved his hands away from your figure and stood firmly looking him in the eyes like a mother who is trying to discipline her misbehaving son. He crossed his arms with a satisfied smile crossing his face with foxlike features and, with a movement of his head, he invited you to speak.
"What do you want me to say? 'Hello Chan! It's me, the person who has been sending you letters like a fifteen-year-old for a year now. I've been in love with you since the moment I saw you at my best friend's house. Do you want to be my boyfriend?" You rolled your eyes tiredly and didn't wait for Jeongin to tell you what he thought, and so you started walking towards your classroom, with an exasperated five foot seven boy following closely behind you.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。
You still remembered the first time you'd seen him, and how couldn't you. His presence could illuminate even the darkest corner, and his personality attracted anyone around him.
It was the summer, and you'd gone to Jeongin's house to spend an afternoon together. The air conditioning in your apartment had broken two days ago, and you couldn't stand being in your room for another second, which was already beginning to feel like an industrial oven. When you arrived at your best friend's residence, you weren't surprised by the fact that there were more people than just the two of you. Jeongin was taking singing lessons at a nearby academy and had hit it off with some of his classmates; so while you didn't know them as well as he did, you had the chance to hang out with some of them a couple of times and you could say that they were the funniest guys you'd ever come across. Especially Hyunjin, who seemed to be like a glove with your best friend.
Jeongin's house felt cold, as if winter had come only for the Yang family and, although you shivered with every step you took towards the kitchen where voices could be heard, this felt like paradise compared to the hell you lived in your house (and you even thought it was cooler in hell).
Reaching the kitchen, you heard Hyunjin's melodious voice followed by his nasal, boisterous laughter at a comment Jeongin made. You shook your head laughing inwardly as you pushed the wooden door open to enter the space, the boys turning their heads in your direction as they heard the hinges snapping back into place.
Your best friend gave you his characteristic smile as he got up from his seat on one of the stools in front of the kitchen island to give you a small hug "I thought you weren't coming anymore!"
From Jeongin's shoulder you saw how Hyunjin gave you a smile and a wave, you tried to return the gesture as best you could considering that you were trapped in the arms of a boy who flatly stated that he didn't like hugs. It was getting long in your opinion, so you patted Jeongin on the back, letting him know that yes, you loved him very much, but you were still sticky with sweat from the walk in the sun and you didn't want to make him uncomfortable when he was so cool. When Jeongin let go of you, he opened his palm to introduce you to a person you hadn't seen before, "I hope you don't mind, that's Chan over there. He also goes to our academy, and he goes to university with us! Although he is a year ahead"
You smiled at Jeongin as you walked further into the kitchen to greet the new guest and in front of you stood one of the most attractive men you'd ever seen in your entire life. He wasn't very tall (you could tell even if he was sitting) but his broad shoulders gave him an intimidating presence, his hair looked messy in a swirl of brown curls, and although he was dressed from head to toe in black (you were sure his nails were painted that color too) on his face was a dimpled smile that took your breath away.
From one moment to the next you forgot how to articulate words and you felt like a fish opening and closing its mouth trying to find something to say, but your brain didn't seem to want to work.
You felt a small push on your right shoulder that took your body forward, towards the table, and towards Chan.
"How rude you are" Jeongin rolled his eyes, and although deep down you knew he was doing it to tease you, your cheeks turned red. You felt your tongue heavy in your mouth as the seconds passed and you were unable to utter a single word.
"Leave her alone, Innie. It's pretty hot outside, isn't it?" Chan's deep voice brought you out of your trance and forced you to look him in the eyes. He had a sincere smile on his face and was watching you with raised eyebrows, letting you know that he was going to listen to you when you wanted to respond.
Your heart did a complete turn in your chest, you were surprised in the best of ways at how friendly he was, the vast majority of boys with his attractiveness made that their only personality trait but he was attentive and considerate of all the people around him, even with complete strangers who hadn't stopped looking or saying anything to him in three minutes.
"Yes...yes, it's horrible! And the air conditioning in my house is broken and you can't imagine how hot it is! I feel like I'm going to die one of these days" The words came tumbling out of your mouth, since you hadn't had the time to stop and think about what exactly you wanted to say, and your nerves were playing the worst trick of your entire life.
Chan laughed again (even his laugh was pretty) and he nodded his head, not at all scared or surprised with the lexical vomit you just made.
"It must be like torture, really. You must be tired from the walk under the sun, why don't you sit down for a bit? The boys and I were planning to watch a movie" The brunette softly kicked one of the stools that were stored under the table in your direction.
You nodded shyly and took the seat he offered you, right in front of him. You left your phone on the cold marble of the table and looked around the kitchen for your best friend, you'd been surprised by the fact that he hadn't gotten into the conversation for five minutes and to be honest you desperately needed to focus on something other than Chan's penetrating gaze you felt on your face.
"Innie?" You called out to him with a small shout, loud enough for him to hear you even if he'd gone into the garden.
After a few seconds, your friend's blonde head peeked out of the left door that led to the living room, and a mischievous smile appeared on his face. "I'm sorry! Since you two were talking, we decided to go prepare things for the movie."
Jeongin paused and looked at you evilly, a look that you knew very well and that didn't give you a good feeling at all "Chan, why don't you prepare something to eat? I bought some snacks today, come when you have everything ready~" And before you could protest, he disappeared from your sight again while laughing and yelling something at Hyunjin.
You immediately tensed up and cursed Jeongin in your mind, how dare he leave you alone with your newfound crush. If he was getting revenge for the time you tried to play matchmaker and failed then he was being very childish, that'd been years ago!
While the insulting thoughts against your best friend and all his ancestors accumulated in your brain, from the corner of your eye you watched as Chan got up from his seat and went to the counter where the mentioned snacks and bowls of colors were located, apparently the prankster you called your best friend had already prepared the trap before you even arrived.
You didn't want to look weirder than you already felt so with your limbs shaking and making even the slightest of movements difficult; you also got up from your seat and slowly approached where Chan was, you stood next to him (close enough for him to know that you were willing to help but far enough not to invade his personal space).
He looked at you briefly and smiled sideways, and didn't say anything as he gently pushed a bowl towards you. The task wasn't very complicated per se, but it did become extremely difficult when the only thing you could focus on were the large, veiny hands of the boy next to you, you hadn't realized how attractive it was to see a man opening packets of potato chips and arranging them in a small container until now.
"Jeongin said we go to the same university, do you study the same as him?" You were startled by the sudden interruption of silence, you turned to look at Chan after finishing preparing the bowl with the nachos.
"Yes, I mean, no. We share some classes because some subjects are correlative in each one's career but I could never do the same as Innie" You smiled shyly and shook your head.
"I study psychology," You finally said and looked at your companion, who had his eyes open and bright like a puppy's (how could it be possible for a person to be incredibly attractive and adorable at the same time? It would have to be illegal), and you wondered what it was that'd amazed him so much, there were millions of other people studying the same thing as you.
Without meaning to, you raised an eyebrow; studying his reaction. He laughed again (it was something he loved to do, apparently) and turned his entire body towards you, resting his left hip against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest.
"That's incredible, the human mind is fascinating. I understand why you study that, for my part, I wouldn't read everything you have to read even if someone paid me."
You laughed loudly, infecting Chan as well. He was doing so with his whole body, his shoulders were shaking to the rhythm of his giggles and you could notice that, from time to time, a small squeak would appear in the sound of his laughter.
When the laughter died down, you looked at him again as you put the last bag of snacks in the cupboard in front of you.
"Yes, I mean, it's a lot to read but it's like you say. I'm interested in knowing the reason for behavior, and I would like to help people in the future. Mental health is something important" This last part came out in a whisper, you weren't used to revealing the reason for your career choice, most people told you that you should have chosen something that would make you rich in twenty years.
"That's incredible, I admire you a lot" Chan said in a soft voice, and you hadn't realized how close he'd gotten until you noticed the small touch of his fingers on your arm, the color quickly rose to your cheeks again and panic took over you, making you choke up when you spoke.
"Y-yes, thank you... not many think that way" And you moved your body away from his space; maybe a little abruptly but you were sure that if you continued in that position you were going to do or say something ridiculous, you couldn't trust your ability to reason at the moment.
Chan cleared his throat at your reaction and took two bowls in his hands, starting to walk towards the living room. You hadn't realized how loudly the other two boys were talking, were you so immersed in the situation to forget the outside world? Apparently yes.
"Are you done yet? The boys must be waiting" He stopped right in front of the door, waiting for you to take what you'd prepared.
You nodded softly, and after grabbing your preparations, you followed him into the living room.
You don't really remember what happened after that, you assume you watched the movies that the boys had already chosen before you arrived. You also don't remember if you had even paid attention, probably not, because you were very focused on keeping your breathing as normal as you could since unfortunately Hyunjin and Jeongin decided to each sit in an individual chair and by coincidence the only place left to sit was in the two-seat chair that your best friend's grandmother had given to his mother at her wedding, and conveniently Chan sat there too. So as the movie played on the screen, your heart raced with every accidental brush of your arms or legs against Chan's.
The only thing you remember clearly from that moment is that you couldn't help but look at his profile, trying to memorize every detail and every peculiarity of his expressions.
The rest of the summer felt like a haze, every time you made plans with Jeongin you knew Chan was going to be there. And that did nothing to dispel the feelings that were beginning to become more present with every minute you spent in his presence.
You liked him a little too much.
His kind nature and the way he treated everyone made you dizzy every time, but you were too shy to act on your feelings and unfortunately you weren't the only one who thought Chan was a good catch. Every now and then different girls approached him to ask him out, and although he always rejected them; you couldn't help but feel a little insecure about the situation. And there was also the small problem that he confessed to you one night in Hyunjin's garden: his last relationship had been somewhat toxic, and although it ended years ago, he was deeply hurt and didn't feel ready yet to fall for someone again.
That confession left a sour taste in your mouth, so you decided not to actively act on your feelings, you really didn't want to make Chan uncomfortable or force him into something he didn't want to do, let alone ruin the friendship you were building. But something as strong as love cannot be contained, and one sleepless night you found yourself scribbling in your notebook the things you wanted to say to him, the things you liked about him, and how he made you feel when you looked at him.
You weren't thinking when you left the first envelope on his desk, it was a completely impulsive decision that you regretted the moment you left his classroom. But when you turned around to go back and throw the letter into the trash, he already found it.
At first he didn't read them, you knew because you'd overheard when he mentioned it to Hyunjin during an outing the three of you made, Chan believed that one of his friends was playing a prank on him.
And that was the last straw that broke the camel's back, although you told yourself that you weren't going to write anymore letters for the sake of your friendship and your own feelings you had to let him know (even if anonymously) that he was someone worthy of love and that he wasn't what the people in his past made him believe he was.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。
Once you arrived at the classroom (miraculously before the professor, you didn't think you could endure another lecture and there were still three more hours before leaving the university) you sat down in your respective seat by the window. The day was really beautiful, and from your place you could see the large patio where the entire student body went to relax between classes, it was your favorite place in the entire building and at this moment you wanted nothing more than to be leaning against a tree feeling the warm sunlight on your face.
"I'm not saying you have to tell him that but don't you think it's been too long already?" Jeongin didn't seem to want to drop the topic for today, he'd gotten up from his seat taking advantage of the fact that there was still no sign of the teacher and sat at your table, almost knocking all the things that were on top of it to the floor. You rested your head on the bench and waved a hand in the air, brushing it off in an attempt to say 'leave me alone already'.
Your best friend snorted exasperatedly, "You really are a special case, you've been in love with him for a year, for God's sake."
At the boy's aggressive tone of voice, you took your head off the table and looked at him with a frown. He looked back at you like he always did: challenging and forcing you to speak for yourself.
"It's not as easy as you say, Jeongin" You spat angrily.
"For all I know, if he finds out, he could throw my stupid letters in the trash and confessing would not only make me look weird but it would also ruin the friendship we have" You lowered your face, feeling a little sad "And the last thing I would like to do is lose him"
Jeongin’s expression softened as he realized the depth of your anxiety, and he reached out to place a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "I get it, I really do. You don't want to jeopardize what you have but you deserve happiness too, you know? Maybe it's time to take a risk."
“I don’t even think I have a chance” You sighed, feeling defeated.
Jeongin moved closer and lowered his voice conspiratorially, "You may have more possibilities than you think, but sometimes you have to give destiny a little push."
You raised an eyebrow at his choice of words and just as you were about to question him further, the professor made an appearance in the classroom ordering everyone to take their respective seats and apologizing for the delay. Your best friend flashed you a bright smile with his trademark dimples and snuck over to his table, effectively ending the conversation and leaving you wondering what he meant for the rest of the day.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。
If Jeongin's plan was for you to not sleep for a week, then he'd achieved it. His words had been spinning through your head like a whirlpool that seemed to have no end. You knew that he'd been friends with the brunette for a longer time than you, but were they close enough that the youngest knew the secrets inside Chan's heart?
Or was he giving you the advice that all friends gave to their other friends desperate to believe in the illusion that the person they like reciprocates their feelings? No, Jeongin wouldn't do that, he was too honest for his own good and besides you'd known each other longer (your mothers said you were born to be friends). So did that mean there really was a chance?
No, of course not, that was ridiculous.
You shook your head in an attempt to get rid of those thoughts as you rang the doorbell at Hyunjin's house. Your group had agreed to meet to study and you needed to have a clear mind, the exams were around the corner and you couldn't afford to keep your brain preoccupied thinking about something that would never happen.
The minutes passed slowly as you waited for the homeowner, and while you were thinking about ringing the doorbell again fearing that the boys inside hadn't heard you, the door suddenly opened, and nothing could have prepared you to see the person who has been living rent free in your mind, you knew he would be there, but you didn't expect to face him so quickly.
"Hey, you arrived just in time, Hyunjin's mom just brought us some drinks" Chan was his usual self, with his beautiful smile plastered on his face and his relaxed attitude.
You blinked once, twice, three times before you managed a small forced smile and responded, "Oh, great, thanks," and you stood there in silence, unable to look him in the eyes.
Chan tilted his head in silent question at your attitude, "Is everything okay?"
His concern for your well-being was evident in his voice and he struck a chord in your heart. You looked at him briefly, meeting his gaze for a fleeting moment and nodded, still struggling to find your voice.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” You finally responded, trying to sound casual despite the jumble of emotions inside you.
Chan's friendly demeanor never wavered as he led you into the house, you followed him with a notable distance between your bodies and so when you arrived at the living room where the boys were already seated with open textbooks and a monstrous amount of things to eat you almost ran to sit next to Jeongin, an attitude that didn't go unnoticed by the blonde, who looked at you with his eyebrows raised in a telepathic question.
Meanwhile, Chan didn't take his eyes off you as he sat next to Hyunjin on the couch in front of where you and your best friend were.
The afternoon went by slowly, too slowly for your liking, you'd gone with all the desire to study and get your mind out of the anxiety that was consuming you, but that attempt had been futile.
Although your gaze remained glued to your notes and your blue highlighter (which hadn't highlighted anything in the last hour, you'd read the same paragraph five times without getting a clue of what it was trying to say) you felt how two eyes were burning holes in your figure. The room was suffocatingly silent, and you were sure that your irregular breathing was evident to the entire group; your nerves were so on edge that when your best friend's voice filled the void you almost jumped in your place.
"I'm tired, how about we take a break?"Jeongin raised his arms towards the ceiling, stretching his back and then collapsing gracelessly against the soft cushions of the sofa.
Hyunjin nodded while massaging his neck, stiff after so many hours of looking down at his notes and reading "I thought no one was going to say it, I was going crazy."
Chan didn't say anything, he just closed his notebooks and imitated Jeongin in his relaxed pose against the couch. You felt out of place when the boys started chatting about meaningless things to lighten the atmosphere.
You only nodded when you felt your input was necessary, or laughed when you thought that was the reaction you should have but you didn't speak, because in fact, you weren't sure you were going to say anything coherent or at least make your voice louder than a whisper, so you decided that the best course of action was to stay quiet.
If the boys noticed it, they didn't say anything, and you couldn't be more grateful for it.
"You know" Chan interrupted the laughter of the other two boys after a not-so-funny story told by Hyunjin.
Everyone focused their attention on him, the tone of voice he'd used was more serious than his usual; so serious that it forced you to look up for the first time since the recess began and you found Chan's brown eyes looking directly at you, doing it so intensely that you thought he was staring right into your soul.
You held your breath, but you weren't prepared for what he said next.
"My secret admirer hasn't written to me in a few days" He was still looking at you, but there was something strange hidden in his irises, something you couldn't decipher.
Silence once again took over Hyunjin's living room, and the tension could be cut with a knife, it almost seemed like time had stopped when the brunette pronounced the last syllable. Your mouth felt dry, and your palms began to sweat. The weight of his words floated in the air and a thousand thoughts passed through your mind, each one more disconcerting than the last.
Hyunjin snorted, and looked maliciously at Chan "Maybe they are tired of you."
His mocking comment broke the heavy silence like thunder. Jeongin joined in with a playful smile, taking the opportunity to tease Chan mercilessly. “Maybe your secret admirer found someone else,” he joked, his tone light and teasing, “Or maybe they are just playing hard to get.”
Your heart was pounding in your chest, wanting to burst while the boys laughed at Chan's expense while he, in response, rolled his eyes and smiled sarcastically at the jokes that his friends kept saying, he also looked at you from time to time making your discomfort even more evident.
You desperately searched for words to contribute to the conversation, your voice choked by the rising anxiety. But as Jeongin and Hyunjin's playful teasing continued, you remained silent, feeling like a bystander in a conversation that was becoming more cryptic by the second. Chan's gaze never left you, and despite the teasing, there was something in his eyes that betrayed a deeper understanding. His comment felt like a puzzle piece falling into place, yet you couldn't put your finger on what he truly knew.
As the laughter subsided, the room descended into an awkward silence once more, and then Chan finally spoke up, his tone more subdued than before. "Well, whoever it is," he began, his eyes still locked on yours, "I hope they know they've brightened my days with their letters."
The comment hung in the air, carrying a weight that seemed to pull everyone into its gravity. Jeongin and Hyunjin exchanged glances, their playful demeanor suddenly giving way to something more conspiracy.
You, on the other hand, felt an overwhelming mix of emotions. The anxiety that'd been building throughout the day reached a crescendo. You wanted to say something, to respond in some way, but the words caught in your throat.
Hyunjin broke the silence once more, this time with a touch of sincerity in his voice. "Whoever they are," he said, "they must really care about you, man." Jeongin nodded in agreement, and the room seemed to shift, it was a subtle transformation, but one that you couldn't help but notice.
Chan smiled, a genuine one that reached his eyes. "Yeah," he admitted, "They do mean a lot to me."
You desperately needed a moment to collect your thoughts and emotions after that serious conversation, so you mumbled something about getting a drink from the kitchen, excusing yourself with a weak smile and slowly, you retreated from the living room, the voices of the boys fading as you put some distance between you and the group.
In the dimly lit kitchen, you leaned against the countertop, your heart still racing from the tension in the room. The realization that Chan cherished those anonymous letters hit you like a ton of bricks. You'd never imagined how much they meant to him.
Just as you were lost in thought, the sound of footsteps behind you made you jump. You turned to find Chan standing there, a serious yet gentle expression on his face. His presence seemed to fill the room with warmth, and your anxiety ratcheted up another notch.
"Hey," he said softly, "You okay?"
You nodded, unable to form words an he took a step closer, his gaze never left yours.
Chan's brown eyes bore into yours, and for a moment, it felt like the world had frozen around you. You couldn't contain the thoughts racing through your mind any longer. With a trembling voice, you finally asked the question that'd been gnawing at you.
"Do you know who's been sending those letters?"
Chan's expression remained calm, but you could see a glimmer of something in his eyes, a hint of knowing. He didn't answer immediately, instead, he stepped closer, narrowing the distance between you.
His voice was soft as he replied, "I have a feeling I might have a clue."
Your heart pounded in your chest as you searched his face for more hints. What did he mean by 'a clue'? It was clear he was being deliberately vague, and it only added to your curiosity.
"But," he continued, "I'd like to hear it from you. Tell me, do you know who it is?"
You hesitated, the weight of the truth pressing down on you. The walls between you and Chan seemed to dissolve, and the vulnerability in his eyes was mirrored in your own. With a shaky breath, you summoned the courage to speak, your voice quivering with fear and anticipation.
"It's me."
The admission hung in the air, heavy and uncertain. You couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze, your eyes locked on the floor as you waited for his reaction. The seconds felt like hours as you replayed all the letters, and the emotions you'd poured into them.
Chan's silence stretched, and the tension in the room became palpable. Your heart raced, and you feared the worst — rejection, awkwardness, or even laughter.
Then, he reached out, gently lifting your chin with his fingers, forcing you to look into his eyes. The warmth and kindness in his gaze melted away your fears.
"Thank you," he whispered, his voice soft and sincere. "I've cherished every single one."
As tears welled up in your eyes, Chan reached out to gently wipe them away with his thumb. He pulled you into a comforting embrace, holding you close as your emotions overwhelmed you. You couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and they flowed freely as you nestled into his embrace. He whispered soothing words, his voice a balm to your soul, reassuring you that everything would be okay.
After a moment of shared comfort, you pulled away slightly, looking up at him with curiosity. "But how did you know it was me?" you finally asked, your voice still trembling.
Chan smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face, a knowing twinkle in his eye, and replied, "I had my suspicions, especially after some of the things you wrote. But what really gave it away was your handwriting."
You blinked in surprise.
Handwriting? You hadn't considered that, no, haven't even thought about it when you started this a year ago, and to be honest you felt a little dumb.
Chan continued, "I recognized your handwriting from a birthday card you gave me a while back. It was similar to the writing in the letters. And then, well, I saw you looking at me during our hangouts, and it all just started to make sense."
You blushed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief. It seemed like you'd left more clues than you thought. But instead of feeling exposed, you felt a strange sense of comfort knowing that he'd noticed your feelings all along.
With a shy smile, you said, "I guess I'm not very good at hiding my feelings, am I?"
Chan chuckled softly. "No, but that's okay. I'm glad you told me."
As you gazed into Chan's eyes, you noticed something change in his expression. The initial surprise and curiosity gave way to a more tender, understanding look. He cupped your face gently, his touch warm and reassuring.
"You know," he began softly, "I've always appreciated those letters. They made me feel special, like someone out there truly understood me. And I never wanted to pressure you into revealing yourself," Chan continued. "I wanted you to do it when you were ready."
"I was just afraid," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "Afraid of what you might think, of how it might change things between us."
Chan's thumb traced small circles on your cheek as he reassured you, "Don't be. This doesn't change how I feel about what we have. If anything, it makes it even more special."
A tear escaped from the corner of your eye, but this time, it wasn't a tear of anxiety or fear. It was a tear of relief, of happiness. You leaned into Chan's touch, and he leaned closer, his eyes locked on yours, and before you knew it, his lips met yours in a soft, gentle kiss. The world seemed to melt away as your lips met his, you felt the warmth of his body against yours, and the sensation sent shivers down your spine. His hands cradled your face, holding you gently but firmly, as if he never wanted to let you go.
The taste of his lips was sweet and comforting, like a warm embrace on a cold winter's day, you could feel the steady beat of Chan's heart, matching the rhythm of your own. The world around you disappeared, and there was only the two of you.
And just as you were lost in that sweet moment, the kitchen door burst open, and in walked your friends, their playful banter filling the room while wearing grins so wide they threatened to split their faces. Jeongin couldn't help but tease you, waggling his eyebrows playfully. "Well, well, looks like someone finally got the courage to make a move!"
Hyunjin joined in with a mock-sympathetic tone. "And here we thought we'd have to wait another century for this to happen!"
You blushed furiously, pulling away from Chan who chuckled in amusement, still holding you close. "You guys have impeccable timing," he remarked, his voice laced with sarcasm.
Jeongin winked at you, "Hey! We're just glad we won't have to hear you two mooning over each other anymore."
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flowerandblood · 3 months
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The Doubt & The Delight
[ modern Frollo • Aemond x Esmeralda • female ]
[ warnings: sex content, oral sex, smut, angst, description of physical and mental disabilities, remorse, depression, hysteria attacks, swearing, trauma, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt ]
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[ description: After a car accident, his brother has to deal with the consequences of what happened, and he, as his protector, does not know how to help him. His sister comes up with the idea of hiring someone as his carer who will be able to cheer him up and occupy his mind. It turns out, however, that the girl he hired charmed not only his younger brother. Obsession, self-destructive behavior, verbal and physical aggression, sexual tension, dark, malicious Aemond. ]
Author's note: This story is a request, but I decided to freely use what I liked in the book and Disney film to create a new, disturbing story taking place in modern times. It is intended to be uncomfortable and will contain scenes that are at least morally questionable, in my version "Esmeralda" is not Romanian. This story will also include motifs from Jane Eyre, which was a separate request. My story will also touch on the problems of people with disabilities, so if these are sensitive topics for you, I advise against reading further. You have been warned.
Part 1 − The Knight & The Judge Part 2 − The Sin & The Penance Epilogue
Main Characters Moodboard Aemond NSFW Alphabet
This is the last part of this story. Thank you all for such a nice reception of this entire mini-series, it was supposed to be a oneshot, but as usual it turned out to be something more! This is probably one of my favorite works here and I can't wait to hear your opinions.
* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *
Previous chapters: Masterlist
_____
That night, after what had happened between them, he sobbed silently for the first time since the day of the accident in which his parents died. He didn't know what else he could do − he felt helpless and couldn't sleep, despair completely possessing his heart and mind.
Don't ever touch me again.
We are even.
He clenched his eyelids, letting the tears run down the sides of his face onto the pillow lying under his head.
Some part of him wanted to go to her door, to fall to his knees and beg her to open it for him, to let him hold her close, to fall asleep in her embrace.
He needed her so much, but he knew he had no right to demand anything from her.
She was doing more than she had to anyway.
He shuddered as he heard the sound of the door opening; stupefied by the sedatives and painkillers for a moment he had no idea where he was or who he was − he raised himself up on his elbow and hissed, feeling his head ache incredibly.
He opened his eyelids and immediately closed them, blinded by the light from the windows − he gave up with a sigh laying back on the couch, trying to calm himself down.
"Daeron?" He called out loudly, trying to remember what had happened, whether he had drunk too much alcohol the evening before or overdosed on sleeping pills.
He heard someone's footsteps and froze when he saw her frightened face; she came towards him with her eyes wide open as if looking at a ghost, stopping at a safe distance.
"− I'm just helping him change, we'll come soon − God, how pale you are, should I call the doctor again? −" She muttered clearly genuinely horrified by his condition, but he shook his head quickly.
"− did you call the police yesterday? −" He asked lowly, thinking with horror that no one at the prosecutor's office could find out that he was still struggling with his trauma and had almost caused a car crash.
She shook her head quickly, playing with the fingers of her hand in a nervous gesture.
"− n-no − the man we almost collided with wanted to do it at first, but when we got out of the car and said you'd fainted he called an ambulance and let it go − he apparently decided you'd just had some sort of attack and didn't want to add to our problems −" She replied once looking him in the eye, once looking away − he could see that she clearly wasn't coping with the situation or what had happened between them.
He sighed in relief, running his hand over his face, thinking about the fact that securing Daeron's fate was now his priority and he needed to pull himself together.
"− I'm going to go help Daeron and we'll make something for breakfast soon −" She said quickly and turned away, moving down the corridor towards his little brother's room, disappearing behind the door.
The two of them had tried not to look at each other all morning, heartbroken and horrified by what had happened between them − they both felt that their lives had slipped out of their control and he resented himself for dragging her into it all.
The doctors advised him to stay at home for a few days and rest, so he called Alys to ask her to bring him his documentation.
"− sick leave? − something happened? −" She asked concerned, and he sighed heavily, tightening his fingers on the base of his nose, not having the strength for this discussion.
"− I've been overworking lately, I need to slow down − can I count on you? −" He asked matter-of-factly, hearing her snort of amusement on the other side.
"− sure − I'll be there in half an hour −" She replied calmly and hung up; he sighed heavily, running his hand over his face and put the phone down on the table top.
He glanced over his shoulder, hearing the sizzle of the pan and shuddered meeting her gaze − she lowered her eyes immediately as if caught in the act, concentrating on not burning the pancakes, Daeron wheeled around her in his wheelchair placing clean plates and cutlery beside her.
They ate breakfast together, both of them really only talking to Daeron, passing cups and juice to each other out of politeness only. He felt a pleasant shudder when his fingers touched hers, looking her straight in the eyes − her lower lip twitched a little, only a quiet, sad thank you came out of her mouth.
As they ate Daeron said he would do his own homework and then change her to look after him, as if he was now the one to take on the role of his caretaker.
As he left his Esmeralda stood up, picking up the dirty dishes from the countertop − he took his plate from her hand, swallowing hard.
"− no need, I'll do it − I'm better now, I don't want to force you to stay here any longer than necessary − thank you very much −" He said in a low voice, getting up from his seat and stepping around her, opening the dishwasher with a light movement, tossing in the cutlery and other dirty dishes she'd held earlier.
He felt her looking at him, his heart pounding like crazy, for some reason he wanted to cry again.
"− I'm sorry − for what happened yesterday −" She muttered in a whisper and he raised his shocked gaze to her, frozen still.
She stood in front of him covering her mouth with her hand, trying to silence the loud, ragged breath that shook her body along with the sob that wanted to break from her throat, tears began to fall from the corners of her eyes one after another.
God, she was remorseful.
"− no − no, stop − you didn't do anything wrong, I wanted it −" He said quickly, but she shook her head.
"− I couldn't sleep − I felt awful −" She uttered with difficulty, choking on her own tears, and despite her telling him never to touch her again he put his arm around her waist and pulled her to him in one sure movement − her body did not put up any resistance to him, her fingers tightened on his sweatshirt in a helpless gesture.
"− I-I'm sorry − I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you −" She mumbled out and burst into quiet sobs.
He thought with despair that he had broken this poor girl, brought her to a state where she felt like an abuser.
He embraced her tightly, snuggling his face into the hollow of her neck, stroking her back reassuringly − her wonderful scent and the warmth of her body had a soothing effect on him, he thought he wanted to remember this moment for a lifetime.
"− I'm the one who hurt you − I took something away from you and you tried to get it back − you asked me if I wanted it and I made it clear that I did − easy − breathe deeply − it's all right −" He whispered in a trembling voice, running his large hand through her back and hair. She snuggled into him so tightly that he felt tears under his eyelids himself − he pressed his lips together not wanting to let them flow out but it was no use.
"− thank you for everything − I'm feeling better now, I'll be fine by the time Helaena arrives − go home and get some rest − I'll think of something and explain to Daeron why you can't work for us anymore − I'll send you your pay by transfer so you never have to see me again − hm? −" He asked softly and she only nodded, her whole chest trembling in convulsion as she drew in a deep breath, trying to calm herself.
He wanted to tell her that he loved her.
He wanted to tell her that she was the most wonderful person he had ever met.
He wanted to tell her that if she ever needed help, she could always count on him.
He wanted to do that, but he only flinched when he heard the doorbell ring, reminding himself of Alys − they moved away looking at each other in pain, the sight of her wiping her cheeks red from tears broke his heart.
He realised that he was a monster.
As soon as he opened the gate for her, Alys walked into his house with thick folders of documents in her hands, looking elegant as usual in her jacket, long trousers and high heels. She smiled at the sight of his Esmeralda, and she pressed her lips together realising with horror that she stood dressed only in his hoodie.
"Good morning. We don't know each other yet." Alys said to her and held out her hand to her − she, not knowing what to do, herself embarrassed by the situation and how it looked shook her hand, squeezing it firmly.
"Good morning." She muttered and just threw to him that she was going to go see how Daeron was doing with his homework − Alys led her away with her eyes looking at her with a calm, curious expression on her face.
"Who is this beautiful little flower? In addition wearing your hoodie I think." She asked amused, a note of mock accusation in her voice, as if she had solved the equation. "Is it because of her that you can't concentrate lately?"
He threw her one warning, sharp look, which did not deter her, however − he sighed heavily and shook his head.
"She's Daeron's caretaker and she had to stay here to help me take care of him after I fainted yesterday. They were at a carnival ball together and she had nothing to change into." He replied coolly, wanting to end the subject quickly, frustrated.
"Is that why you both cried?" She asked lowly raising an eyebrow, the piercing look in her bright green eyes told him clearly that she felt the tension that hung in the air between them. He swallowed loudly, looking away, not wanting to look at her smile full of satisfaction.
"Thank you for bothering to come all the way out here. I'll be gone for a week, we're in touch." He replied dryly − she threw over his shoulder that if he needed her for anything he could count on her and smiled at his Esmeralda heading for the exit, saying it was a pleasure to meet her.
As the door closed behind her there was an awkward silence between them. He saw that she was wearing his hoodie and shorts that were too loose on his brother but on her they fit perfectly despite the manly cut, in her hand she held the bag with her costume.
She was leaving.
He will never see her again.
"Are you sure you can manage?" She asked uncertainly, not looking at him. She seemed pale to him, he thought that for some reason Alys' visit had saddened her, but he didn't even dare assume it might have had anything to do with him.
At most, she might have thought he was a bigger bastard and pervert than she suspected.
"Yes, we'll be fine. Thanks again." He muttered, trying not to look at her, but to poor effect, thinking only of how wonderful it was to hold her in his arms, how tightly she snuggled into him seeking refuge and comfort.
He realised that he craved such closeness from her as much as the touch of her naked body.
He wasn't just about sex.
She, however, merely nodded, raising her sad, tired, embittered gaze at him once more, and after a moment she turned and disappeared behind the door.
The hours leading up to Helaena's arrival he spent with Daeron, playing together FIFA'23 and other games that his brother thought would distract him from all the unpleasant events of the past weeks.
"Don't worry, everything will be fine. You just need to rest. It's good that you and Esmeralda have reconciled." He said clicking beside him on his pad, trying to win a race against him on the big space track. He swallowed hard, thinking with pain and shame that they hadn't reconciled at all, that they weren't even.
What she did was a desperate attempt by her to regain what he had taken from her, the feeling that she had power over her own body.
It didn't bring her any relief though − it seemed to him that it made her feel even worse.
She wasn't like him − she'd probably never behaved like this before, and she was horrified to find that she didn't recognise herself.
He had destroyed her, taken away her innocence, devoured her.
He pressed his lips together, trying to stop the burning tears that forced their way under his eyelids from flowing and grunted loudly, trying to focus on the game.
As he prepared the room where his sister was to sleep, and where his Esmeralda had previously spent the night, he noticed a purple cloth lying on the floor. He reached out and picked it up, realising after a moment that it was a scarf she had worn on her head in the form of a headband.
He pressed it to his face and closed his eyes, with a squeeze in his throat thinking that the material was permeated with her scent.
He kept it.
Helaena had arrived straight from the airport in a taxi for which she had paid crores − as soon as she stepped inside she dropped her suitcase, ran up to him and threw herself into his arms. He burst out sobbing, feeling her familiar, tender closeness.
He wasn't sure when was the last time someone had hugged him, stroked him, told him everything was going to be alright, that now he was the one being taken care of.
Taking the opportunity that Daeron was playing in his room on his laptop, they sat side by side on the living room couch to discuss what had happened.
"I think I've stopped coping. I'm slowly losing my self-control." He muttered, burying his face in his hands, feeling that he needed to at least partially throw off what was going on inside his head − he felt his sister stroking his back comfortingly.
"Me and Aegon left you alone with all of this, sinking into our own grief. We all focused on Daeron because we decided you were older and better able to handle it all." She said with pain and some kind of regret, as if she only now realised that he wasn't a fully formed adult then either.
He let the air out of his lungs, feeling like a small, clumsy child again, embarrassed that he wasn't coping, that he had chaos in his head, that he was stuck and unable to get out of the mess he had sunk all the way into.
"I thought it would be good for you to have a change. For you and Daeron to fly with me for a few weeks, get some rest, during which time we can work together to find you some sort of therapist, someone to help you get over all this." She said warmly, and he shook his head quickly, terrified of her suggestion, of having to reinvent himself somewhere, of not being in his home, of not having his things and activities.
"No, I can't do that. I need a rest, but here, at home. I do think, however, that it will do Daeron good to spend time with you, to get away from it all. Maybe when I have a bit of time to myself I can somehow…sort it all out." He muttered, feeling her worried gaze on him.
"You shouldn't be left alone."
"I haven't been alone with my thoughts for five years. I need this." He said regretfully, realising that he had devoted all his strength to his younger brother, leaving himself with nothing.
He felt empty.
"And he needs a change of environment. He sees me gloomy and tired every day. You will help me the most if you take care of him for a week or two so that I can get myself in order."
"You have to promise me that you will go to therapy. You're taking on too much on your shoulders." She said cautiously, and he nodded to her, wanting everyone to finally give him a break.
Daeron was at the same time happy about the sudden unplanned holiday, but on the other hand very worried that he was going to be left alone at home.
"But who will take care of you? Esmeralda?" He asked hesitantly, and he replied that he would manage on his own, that they would talk on the phone every day, that he just needed a bit of rest to think things over.
As they packed to leave he was with them in body, but not in thoughts which drifted far away to her, to what had happened between them.
Despite the fact that they had sex with each other twice, it was the memory of that morning in his kitchen when he held her in his embrace that he remembered most, the innocence and tenderness of that gesture, the warmth of her body, the smell of her hair, the fact that for a moment she had allowed him to get close to her.
He knew he would never see her again.
Waving them off, already seated in the taxi, watching them drive away he wondered what the point of living such a terrible person like him was.
He cleaned the whole house, sorted the papers in his office, put up the laundry and emptied the dishwasher, doing everything unhurriedly with complete silence all around him, only the sound of the wind outside the windows and the quiet pounding of raindrops against the windowsills.
He finally sat down on the sofa, staring dully ahead, before lowering his gaze to the small container of sleeping pills he'd been taking for days to get at least a few hours of sleep.
He wondered how many he'd have to swallow to not wake up.
He didn't know why his hand reached for his phone − his fingers tapped out a question on Google and, to his surprise, many different topics on forums about how to commit suicide painlessly popped up.
He read statements from some young, desperate, frightened people who couldn't cope with life and responses from others, some encouraging them to commit the act and explaining how to do it, others asking them not to do it, that they would be happy to talk to them, to support them through this difficult time.
He thought of Daeron, of how if he had done it, his little brother would have completely broken down, that it would only add to the pain of his whole family, and that Helaena would never forgive herself for leaving him alone.
That it would have been selfish of him.
On the other hand, his mind reminded him of his aggressive, merciless interrogations, the way he approached witnesses, the way he approached Alys, what he did to his Esmeralda when she recognised at once his malicious, dark nature.
How was someone like him supposed to continue to take care of Daeron? How was he supposed to pretend that he was a good man who could advise him on anything, be his authority?
He thought that his little brother should have stayed with Helaena − she was the calmest of them all, surely she would have handled his parenting much better, given him what he needed.
He reached for a small container of pills and stared at it, turning it between his fingers with a loud rattle, wondering dispassionately what he should do with himself.
He hummed as if he remembered something and slipped his hand into the pocket of his trousers, pulling out a thin, purple folded cloth − he looked at it, feeling the need to call her.
He didn't know why he would do that when he was sure she didn't want to see him and couldn't even look at Daeron, to whom he would have to explain why she would no longer be taking care of him upon his return.
He guessed that she would only pick up out of politeness, and he would again flood her with his problems, his suicidal thoughts, forcing her to worry about him, to feel sorry for him even though he didn't deserve her sympathy.
He didn't even know when he unscrewed the container, when he tilted his head and poured its entire contents into his mouth, taking a deep sip of water after this, letting his judgment of himself run deep into his stomach.
He seemed to regain his sanity only after a moment, staring at the empty vessel wondering what he had actually done.
Oh fuck.
God, what had he done?
No, no, no, no.
He went into a complete panic, his heart started pounding like crazy − he didn't know how much time he had before he lost consciousness, so in a gesture of helplessness he dialled her number quickly, wondering if she would answer from him this time.
He thought he was pathetic, but he was scared, there was no one else to turn to − his body was shaking all over from stress and terror, his breathing quick and raspy, tears of fear in his eyes.
Biip.
Biip.
Biip.
Biip.
Biip.
Biip.
Biip.
"− hello? −"
He heard her uncertain voice on the other side and drew in the air loudly, shocked, swallowing hard, taking a deep breath, running his hand over his face.
"− fuck − I − I − I did something very, very stupid − I took a whole packet of sleeping pills − I don't know what came over me − oh fuck, what have I done −" He muttered in a squeaky, high-pitched voice, like a helpless child who had broken a vase and realised what his parent would do to him when they found out.
"− what? − oh God − are you home? − I'm calling the ambulance −"
"− n-no − no, fuck, they'll kick me out of the national prosecutor's office − please −"
"− go quickly to the bathroom and try to induce vomiting − give me the code to your gate, I'll be right there −"
He seemed to act in an amok, as he rose from the couch everything around him swirled − she told him to take his phone to the restroom, so he did.
He fell to his knees in front of the toilet, shoving two fingers down his throat − after several attempts he finally threw up, whooping with his tears, coughing loudly, his whole body shaking in convulsions, his heart pounding like mad in his chest.
How could he do this, how could he be so selfish?
"− I'm sorry −" He mumbled, sliding slowly to the ground, feeling his mind begin to envelope in a blissful peace and quiet, her voice coming from the speaker of his phone seemed to him only a distant whisper.
He thought he would take a nap for a while, rest and when he woke up everything would be fine.
It seemed to him that minutes, hours or years might have passed when he felt someone move his body − he shuddered as someone's fingers forced their way between his lips, his numb body powerless to resist.
"− come on, please − get it out of you − God, what have you done − please, please, come on −" He heard her crying beside him, the tips of her fingers pressing against the back of his tongue, until finally his stomach convulsed with a powerful spasm, and his body threw it all out with his throaty cough of exertion.
He heard her sobs, smelled her scent, her closeness, how her hands washed his face with water, how she stroked his head as she hugged him to her breasts, mumbling in despair that he was a fool, something warm and soft enveloped them.
He fell asleep, recognising that this was what heaven must have been like.
When he woke up he felt everything around him spinning − he muttered in displeasure, another cramp squeezing his stomach.
He pulled himself up, in the dark looking for the toilet, at the last moment leaning over it and vomited again, panting loudly, everything around him blurred, it seemed to him that it was morning.
He heard movement beside him − someone's hand touched his back and stroked him with a gentle, affectionate gesture as convulsion again shook his body, which was trying with all its might to rid itself of what he had swallowed the day before.
Nothing more than a mumble left his mouth, his head drooped involuntarily − he felt someone pull him back to keep him from sliding down onto the tiles. He lay down, something soft enveloped him again.
"− it's okay − sleep −" He heard her whisper and thought that the pills he had taken were causing him to hallucinate, that he was probably dreaming it all, and since he was and she wasn't really there he could embrace her, his arm grabbed her waist, his face snuggled between her breasts again with his loud purr of contentment and exhaustion.
He felt her hands embrace him, stroking his head and back − he thought, feeling the hard floor beneath him, that they were lying in the bathroom and she must have brought the duvet and pillows from his bedroom, sleeping in that room with him.
He fell asleep and woke up hearing someone walking around his house, once in a while someone touched his head − he heard her voice asking him some questions that he was unable to focus on − she was only answered by his frustrated sounds indicating that he just wanted to sleep on.
Finally when he opened his eyes he managed to see anything − the bathroom door was open, the light in the room was off. He had a perfect view of the corridor and part of the living room lit up in the sun − he heard someone's footsteps, his heart jumped into his throat when he saw her silhouette in the doorway.
"− hey − hey, how are you feeling? −" She muttered walking up to him and kneeling beside him, her loose hair in a slight disarray, she was wearing shorts and a plain white Tshirt. He looked away from her breasts when he noticed she wasn't wearing a bra, swallowing hard.
He didn't reply, feeling an overwhelming sense of shame, remembering what he had done, how disgusting and selfish he had acted, that he had forced her to help him again despite having caused her such harm.
"− I − I would like to talk to some therapist −" He choked out with tears in his eyes, not looking at her but somewhere in front of him, his breathing shallow and uneven − it seemed to him as if his lungs had completely clenched.
"− alright − alright, I'll look for someone nearby − okay? −" She asked tentatively and he just nodded, unable to look her in the eye. He heard her get up quickly, and a moment later she was back, sitting down next to him with her phone in her hand, typing something quickly on her screen, apparently scrolling through the accounts of doctors who had offices in the same town.
"− there's a Dr Smith, he's got a free appointment in two days at one o'clock in the afternoon, or a Dr Morgan, but he… −"
"− anyone − as soon as possible −" He said dispassionately, looking blankly ahead, heard her swallow hard and click something quickly, heard his phone vibrate beside him on the floor.
"− I've booked you an appointment and sent you details via message −" She mumbled, and he nodded.
"− thank you − you can −"
"− I spoke to your sister on the phone while you were asleep and told her everything − we agreed that Daeron will stay with her and I'll watch over you until your first appointment −" She said coldly with some kind of regret from which he felt a squeeze in his throat. He pressed his lips together, feeling his body tremble and closed his eyes, wanting to just disappear.
He shuddered, looking at her in disbelief as she slipped her purple scarf out of the pocket of her tracksuit shorts, the same one he'd found on the floor and kept. She tied her hair with it, combing it into a ponytail, staring straight into his eyes.
"I found this on your couch. Did you think of me before you did it?" She asked, with soft, sure flicks of her fingers arranging her curls as she saw fit. He swallowed hard at her question, feeling a burning sense of embarrassment.
"− yes −" He sighed. She let out a quiet breath at his words, placing her hands on her thighs.
"− are you able to get up? −"
With her help he managed to rise with difficulty − he brushed his teeth feeling the still disgusting taste of vomit and acid on his tongue and then lay down on the sofa, grabbing his head. He watched her silhouetted in the kitchen as she opened the cupboards one by one until she found his first aid kit.
He saw her throw away all the packets of sleeping pills he had.
"− hey −" He threw to her wrinkling his eyebrows, knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep a wink without them.
"− you'd better not speak −" She said warningly, without giving him a single glance, so he gave in, sighing heavily and closing his eyes, figuring there was no point in arguing.
To his surprise she moved around the rooms as if this was her home, sat down next to him at the other end of the sofa with an apple in her hand and turned on the TV as if nothing had happened. He looked at her, wondering if she was really going to sit here for days, but then decided it didn't matter.
When he finally got the phone call from Helaena he listened to almost half an hour of a litany from her about how irresponsible and selfish he was, only to hear a moment later that she loved him very much and that he needed to start taking care of himself − he assured her several times that he already had an appointment with a therapist, and Esmeralda wouldn't leave his side.
"− is that what you call me? −" She asked quietly after he had hung up, looking at the TV screen on which the news had just been airing. He looked at her surprised, realising that it wasn't actually her real name after all.
"− yes −" He replied lowly, playing with his phone between his fingers.
They didn't talk much to each other apart from the usual basic politeness. After a couple of hours he felt well enough to get up − he was still dizzy and still had no appetite, but he drank plenty of water and thought with relief that the danger had passed.
Evening finally fell and, tired after all that had happened, he simply headed upstairs to his bedroom, wanting to give her some solitude and privacy.
Changing into his pyjamas, which consisted of a simple t-shirt and black tracksuit bottoms, he shuddered and looked in disbelief at the door to his room when it opened, her figure stepping inside as if nothing had happened, climbing on his bed, lying under his duvet, turning her back to him.
What?
He pressed his lips together, wondering if he should say something or not, but in the end he couldn't resist.
"What are you doing?"
"I want to sleep. I'm tired. Could you turn out the light?" She asked quietly.
He grunted and, as she requested, walked over to the switch, flicking it, complete darkness fell all around them.
The thought that she was going to sleep in the same bed with him, even if only to keep an eye on him, made him instantly hard.
He lay down at a safer distance behind her, looking at her back and neck, knowing that she could feel his breath, but not daring to touch her.
He wondered if she was punishing him this way, showing him that she was at his fingertips, but after what he had done there was nothing else he could do but watch.
It would have been enough for him if he could have just jerked off looking at her, concentrating on her scent and the fact that she was next to him, but he felt he had no right to bring himself relief after all of this.
He didn't deserve it.
That's why he was just dying in agony, writhing − without his pills despite his fatigue he could not fall asleep, on top of that he was too aroused, her closeness was driving him crazy.
"− will you stop squirming? − I can't sleep −" She muttered at last, raising herself up on her elbow, looking at him with furrowed brows.
He felt his lips part involuntarily in desire at the sight of her face, at the thought that she didn't have a bra under her shirt, that there were her lovely breasts under that material that he could caress all night.
"− sorry −" He just choked out, trying to calm his breathing, his cock pulsed painfully swollen under the material of his sweatpants.
He made big eyes and flinched, embarrassed as she pushed back the duvet that covered them both, her gaze going to his trousers and what was going on inside them.
A tense silence fell between them − he could feel his whole body quivering with desire, grief and shame.
He wondered if she would mock his state and his desperation.
"− we can do it if you want − like civilised people − I'd like to experience some sleep tonight −" She said softly and he looked at her in disbelief, the bulge in his sweatpants twitched hard at her words.
"− are you sure? − I wouldn't −"
"− make me feel good −" She said quietly.
He drew in the air loudly as she said this, grabbing the material of her t-shirt and lifting it, pulling it over her head, revealing her lovely breasts to him.
She sighed loudly when his face immediately pressed against her nipple, alternately sucking and licking it with the tip of his tongue, his fingers digging into the soft skin of her back. She moaned quietly, surprised when he pulled her to him, her palms sliding into his hair, holding him close.
They lay on their sides, embracing each other in a tight grasp. He wriggled in disbelief and delight, willing and eager to show her how much he regretted it, how much he desired her, how much he loved her − his hand grasped tentatively her other breast, kneading it with his fingers.
"− so soft −" He gasped, listening to her quiet sighs of pleasure. He felt her throw her leg against his waist, which he grasped confidently, clenching his fingers on her thigh and pulled her closer, letting her feel how much he wanted her, his manhood throbbed impatiently beneath his trousers, hitting her stomach.
"− how −" He asked between flicks of his tongue licking and sucking her hard, puffy nipple like a little child, stroking the soft skin of her hips. He slipped his hand under the material of her shorts, tracing his fingertips over her plump buttocks, wanting to be sure that this time he would do everything the way she needed it, give her pleasure and reassurance, at the pace and the way she wanted it.
She stroked his hair at his question and placed a short, warm kiss on his forehead − he murmured lowly as he felt her begin to rub against him, encouraging him to do the same, his lips letting go of her nipple with a loud plop to look at her.
"− you on top − but touch me down there first −" She whispered embarrassedly, turning onto her back, pulling his arm behind her, looking at him with a gaze hot with desire and affection.
He leaned in, letting his swollen lips brush hers, which responded immediately to his caress, her fingers cupping his neck, deepening the kiss.
"− mmm −" She hummed, squirming beneath him. He ran his hand down her body, in a tentative, unhurried motion slipping his hand under the material of her shorts, wanting to give her time to react, but she sensing this spread her thighs wider, easing his access, his fingers finally running over her swollen, hot, wet womanhood.
"− God, little one − I want to use my mouth here −" He gasped appreciatively, thinking only of the fact that he had been dreaming of this for weeks. He smiled involuntarily when he saw her nod quickly, her sweet, full lips parted in an accelerated breath.
"− okay −" She whispered quietly, letting him slide the material of her shorts and underwear off her − he marvelled at the sight of her naked body, thinking with some kind of emotion that he felt like crying.
"− so beautiful −" He whispered, placing a gentle kiss on her stomach, on her womb, on her hip, on her thigh, knee and calf. He looked at her and noticed that she was watching him intently, her breasts rising and falling in uneven breaths, her hands on either side of her head.
"− come here −" He murmured softly, in a gentle motion pushing her hips closer to him, spreading them in front of him − he heard her gasp loudly as he leaned over her bared flesh. He let his hot breath envelop her skin before his nose ran over her hot, soft womanhood, his lips lazily clinging to her folds, placing a lingering, sticky kiss on them.
He tightened his hands on her thighs when he felt her throw her head back with a sweet, surprised moan, her fingers traveling to his short hair, stroking it in impatient motion, pressing his face close to her body.
"− please −" She mumbled, and he huffed with amusement, trailing his lips up to her puffy clit, sliding then down to her leaking, swollen slit, teasing her barely, not giving her what she needed.
"− no − we're going to do this very, very slowly − with due respect to you −" He hummed contentedly, feeling some kind of pride that he could do it this way, could give it to her and be what she needed.
She whimpered softly, writhing before him, her breathing quickened and shuddered, her body trembling in his hands, thirsting for fulfilment.
"− don't be cruel −" She mumbled resentfully, as if she thought he was teasing and taunting her. He sighed quietly, placing a warm, hot kiss on her sticky skin − a surprised, loud moan escaped her lips as the tip of his tongue suddenly forced its way inside her, deeper and deeper with each stroke, imposing an intense, fast pace on her.
"− o-oh fuck, yes, lick me −" She mewled, clenching her fingers in his hair, bucking her hips against his face, trying to find a more intense source of rubbing. He smirked under his breath as he discovered after a moment between her fleshy muscles the spot he was looking for, her whines increasingly pathetic and helpless, her walls beginning to throb around his tongue.
He heard her whimper his name, her whole body tensed as if she was trying to break away from him, but he didn't stop, letting her come on his face.
He purred contentedly as he felt how much of her moisture flowed out of her tight entrance, determined to make sure he licked every drop and not let anything go to waste despite her cries.
He surprised her when he didn't pull away, but repeated all the steps from the beginning, slowing his pace again, merely teasing her with his lips, her body twitching at his every move, overstimulated and delicate.
"− n-no more − I want you inside me −" She mumbled softly, and he looked up at her, licking his lips with his tongue, feeling her words in his trousers.
Even though he planned to spend the whole night between her thighs, he couldn't refuse such a request.
"− it's okay − there you go −" He hummed, rising to his knees, slipping his sweatpants down just enough to release his swollen, hard erection leaking from his precum. He placed one hand next to her head, the other guiding the fat, pink head of his cock between her widely spread thighs.
"− such a good girl − hm? − my sweet little baby, am I right? −" He cooed and she nodded quickly, looking at him with big eyes hazed with desire − it seemed to him that she didn't recognise him, that she didn't believe he was the same man she had met then.
He didn't believe it himself, but it felt wonderful.
They both sighed loudly when, with one slow thrust, he opened her wide on his swollen length, leaning over her, pressing his forehead to hers, her trembling hand rising to stroke his cheek, her lips pressed to his in a warm, innocent kiss.
He murmured contentedly, forcing her to fit all of him inside her with an impatient thrust of his hips − he heard her quiet cry of discomfort and surprise and swallowed loudly feeling his manhood pulsing intensely inside her, so hungry for her closeness.
She closed his waist between her legs, crossing them over his back, and he lay on top of her, pulling his t-shirt off quickly, resting his weight on his elbows to keep from crushing her, feeling her little, puffy nipples on his naked chest.
She sighed sweetly, looking up at him dreamily, trailing her fingers down his face and neck as he slipped out of her only to sink into her again a moment later with a loud click of her moisture − she was all wet and warm inside after her intense orgasm, her muscles squeezing him wonderfully from all sides.
"− that's it − just like that - it's okay −" He whispered tenderly, letting himself sink into the taste of her sticky, plump lips again, her hands trailing down his sweaty, muscled back as he involuntarily sped up his pace, pressing his nose to her cheek, slamming into her with more and more sure, brutal thrusts of his hips, groaning low along with her.
"− oh, fuck, baby −" He gasped, listening to her moans of pleasure, her insides wonderfully warm and tight, quivering all over in sensation, soaking him wet. He began to root aggressively into her weeping cunt panting hard, all around them only the loud sound of their moist, naked bodies slapping quickly against each other.
"− please − please − please −" She mumbled out looking up at him with her mouth wide open, digging her fingers into the hot skin of his back − he could feel her walls clench around him tighter, sucking him inside. He shuddered hard at her words, focusing now only on rooting again and again into her warm, fleshy interior.
"− I don't know if I'm going to let you sleep tonight − I think I'd rather do this with you instead −" He breathed out into her mouth, pushing his tongue deep into her throat − he felt her body shake as she convulsed, her hands clenched painfully hard on his body as she came a second time with sweet mewl of effort, panting loudly as if she couldn't catch her breath, her muscles began to throb greedily around his cock, sucking him inside.
He tilted his head back and sighed in relief, a few sloppy, rough thrusts prolonging the inevitable − his warm cum spilled deep inside her, a hot wave of pleasure surging through his lungs.
He crushed her with his body, feeling their bodies quivering and twitching all over, both of them panting hard as if they had run a marathon, their hands running blindly over each other's naked skin as if they wanted to calm and soothe each other.
"− I love you −" He muttered, lying with his eyes closed, his nose snuggled into her hot, soft cheek. "− you know that, don't you? −"
"− yes −" She answered him quietly, and he sighed heavily, snuggling into her like a small child.
That much was enough for him.
He didn't expect anything from her.
He just wanted her to know it.
He spent that night as if in a frenzy, holding her close, embracing her from behind tightly with his arms, their legs entwined together in disarray. He fell asleep with his face pressed against her hair, completely overwhelmed by her wonderful scent, the warmth of her naked body, one of her hands placed on his making sure he didn't let go of her soft breasts.
They hadn't said much to each other after they awoke − when he turned her face towards him and he just sank into her swollen lips in a sticky, hot kiss. She purred sleepily at this caress, her fingertips running over his jaw.
She let him take her a second time then, from behind this time − she was so wet from their shared moisture that he slid into her without much difficulty, stretching her wonderfully tight walls with a sigh of delight.
He rooted into her with lazy, slow thrusts of his hips, making sure that each time the fat head of his cock rubbed her sweet spot, one of his hands playing with her puffy, little nipple, the other sunk deep between her thighs, teasing her swollen clit.
"− do you want me to stop? −" He whispered in her ear, and she shook her head, digging her fingers into his arm with which he embraced her at the waist.
"− n-no − it feels good −" She muttered in embarrassment − he kissed her hot cheek with a sticky click of his saliva seeing her lips parted in accelerated breath, her dreamy, warm gaze.
"− so I'm afraid I'm going to fill you a second time, sweet girl −" He hummed, running the tip of his nose over her pretty face. She moaned quietly at his words, feeling him suddenly speed up, slamming into her with more confident, brutal pushes − she tilted her head back, his lips immediately pressed against her neck.
"− d-don't − don't leave marks −" She mumbled out, quickly clenching her hand in his hair − she whimpered softly as she felt his fingertips dig harder into her fleshy folds.
"− I won't, baby − shhh −" He hushed her, running his lust-swollen lips over her soft skin, feeling her weeping walls squeeze him greedily at his words, forcing him to thrust into her more aggressively, his fingers sinking into her plushy thigh, holding her in place, panting along with her.
"− ah, G-God − She babbled, responding helplessly to his movements with rocking, both of them groaning in pleasure and relief as her muscles began to clench against him in a sudden orgasm, his thighs all sticky with her wetness.
"− yes, that's it − oh baby −" He muttered, letting go, with the last of his strength thrusting into her for a moment more before his seed filled her to the brim.
He hid the tip of his nose in her hair with his eyes closed, panting loudly with pleasure, holding firmly her body trembling in fulfilment in the tight embrace of his arms.
"− can I stay inside you? −" He whispered into her ear and she only nodded, falling into slumber again a moment later.
For the first time in many years he didn't have to get up at dawn, he didn't have to focus on work, on Daeron, on anyone or anything more than himself and her.
He couldn't believe it was really happening.
He lay thinking only of the fact that he was deep inside her, that he could feel her and smell her − he placed one of his hands over her heart wanting to feel how it beat, how her chest rose and fell in calm breaths.
The days before his appointment with the psychiatrist he had spent between her thighs.
She walked around his house wearing nothing but his T-shirt and it was enough for him standing behind her to lift its fabric a little to see her lovely, plump buttocks.
"− stop − we need to eat something −" She muttered as he knelt on the kitchen tiles while she was trying to prepare dinner for them, so that he could kiss her hot, soft skin with a murmur of satisfaction. His hand slipped lower, between her thighs, his fingertips collecting her moisture mingled with his semen, a reminder of what he had been doing to her all day.
"− I adore you −" He gasped, sliding his lips lower, placing warm, sticky kisses on her thighs and calves, he heard her quiet sigh.
"− does your friend know that you have a second lover? −" She asked quietly, and he froze, quickly lifting his gaze to her, understanding immediately that she was talking about Alys.
He didn't want to make a mistake and lie, but he also didn't know how to present it so she would know that it was a done deal for him.
"− I stopped seeing her after what happened between us −" He said softly getting up from his knees, looking down at her, putting an unruly lock of her dark hair behind her ear. "− I didn't see the point in it, because all I was thinking about was you −"
He confessed with a kind of pain and weariness, and she lifted her gaze to him, her bright eyes looked at him piercingly, warm and gentle. He leaned in placing a long, drawn-out kiss on her forehead.
She snuggled into his chest as if seeking refuge, and he embraced her kissing the top of her head devotedly, running his large hands down her back in a reassuring, tender gesture.
"− I can't promise you anything −" She said at last, and he swallowed hard, knowing what she meant.
"− I know − I don't expect it −" He whispered, cuddling his face into her fragrant hair, closing his eyes, her closeness and her scent calming him in some strange, incomprehensible way.
"− I will always wait for you −"
_____
Aemond Taglist:
(bold means I couldn't tag you)
@notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires
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baldval · 1 month
Note
Hi! I hope you had a good weekend! Can you do a Husk confession oneshot?
PURRING!₊˚⊹♡
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characters: husk x gn!reader
wc: 761
warnings: mentions of alcohol
a/n: it might technically not be a 'confession' but it's something of the sort. genuinely love Husk and love this request <3
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"You don’t happen to have any alcohol on you, do you?" Husk asked.
He had been your very first visitor since you had been brought to the hotel's 'nursery' (if you could call it that) after getting wounded during the battle against the angels.
You considered Husk a friend, of sorts…though you two didn’t get along very well when you first met.
You smiled gently when you realised Husk was, once again, here to visit you.
"You think I’d be able to smuggle something like that in?"
"You’d be surprised." He said, in a matter-of-fact tone. "Soooo... are ya feeling any better?" He asked, now stepping into your room.
"Better than yesterday, yes." You shook your head. "I don't know if i'm 'being able to walk' better though."
Husk chuckled amused at your words as he sat in a nearby chair. "I really hope you get better soon." He said, in a much kinder tone than that of how he spoke to you before. He didn't seem like the type to care about other people's welfare - but he has been much more attentive to you since the battle.
"Since when have you started being so nice?" you asked teasingly.
He shrugged, raising an eyebrow as if he just found your question confusing. "You're not in a condition to be picking fights, are you?"
You scoffed.
His yellow eyes scanned your face until they met yours, resting his gaze in your eyes.
"Besides..." He continued. "I've always been nice. To you."
You chuckled at his comment. "No, you haven't. We hated eachother when we first met, don't you remember."
"Yeah well but that was simply because you used to be pretty annoying." He said and you opened your eyes pretending to feel offended.
"Perhaps I was not annoying but you were an asshole?" He laughs at your words.
Like genuinely laugh.
And, honestly, that just fills you with a certain warmth that you can only associate with him.
"I wanted to smack you in the face the first time we met" he said, between chuckles.
"And I would've loved every second of it," You said, a smirk on your face appearing as he rolled his eyes.
A moment of silence in which all you two could do was stare at each other.
It wasn't uncomfortable, quite the opposite.
You think you've never felt more comfortable.
"husk, can i- can i ask you something?" he nodded. "could I- I mean, only if you want... but I've always wondered how it feels- your wings." Husk looked confused.
"Umm... can I touch your wings? Maybe?"
"Oh! Uh... yea of course. I mean, I don't see why not" He was nervous, you noticed how his gazed was directed to the floor. Trying (and failing) to hide the redness that had crept in his cheeks.
Gasping at the velvety texture, you ran your fingers along the crimson bend of the cat's wing. You felt Husk shiver behind you, breath hitching quietly.
A low rumbling caught your attention. You paused, face scrunching in confusion. Why was Husk vibrating?
"Husky, are you purring?!" you said as you sat up and practically squealed, eyes gleaming with delight.
Husk tried to avoid your eyes and coughed. Shit shit shit. How could he cover this up? How had he managed to reveal more of his annoying cat habits? He struggled to grasp at a believable excuse before giving in.
"Yeah. Laugh all you like," he murmured, tone the same but gaze turning more unreadable, "Fuckin' hate being a cat." The last part was barely audible as he faced further away.
You frowned, placing a delicate hand on the gambler's cheek. "Husk, I think it's sweet."
The bartender searched your gaze for a hint of sarcasm or lying and found nothing. He smiled warmly, the purring starting louder this time. You smiled and leaned your head on Husk's shoulder, nervously entwining your hands.
Husk took a deep breath. It was now or never. He'd spent days thinking about this; hell, it might''ve been months.
He grabbed your face with his fingers delicately. You looked him in the eyes, which where looking straight at your lips.
A few seconds later, Husk's brain caught up and he wrapped his arms around your waist, unable to prevent the affectionate grin spreading across his face.
Your heart leapt into your throat as Husk leant closer, eyes heavy with something deep that you were trying to understand. He gulped.
"Can I kiss-?"
Before he could finish, his question was answered as you closed the distance between you.
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scekrex · 1 month
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I’ve had this idea for a while and I like your writing so I figured Id ask you! If you don’t like it, please feel free to ignore!! Can we get Lucifer’s reaction to sinner!Adam being with someone who seems to genuinely love and care for him. I always kinda saw Lilith and Eve as people who wasn’t into the idea of being with Adam in a serious manner (Lilith a lot more than Eve) which is why they turned to Lucifer.
I just find the idea of Lucifer seeing someone genuinely care for Adam more than any of Adam’s past lovers really fun. Like, would he be low-key jealous? Would he be happy for Adam (as much as he definitely would not admit it)
I also would find it funny of what Lucifer would think to Adam dating a guy. The first man, progenitor of humanity, Mr. everyone came from these nuts himself, discovering he’s bi waaaay too late into his after-life, and after he becomes a SINNER no less! I can’t help but chuckle about it
Have a nice rest of your day!! ❤️❤️
Okay so this turned into some Adam x male!reader n Lucifer being jealous over reader. Basically one-sided adamsapple. Hope you enjoy, xoxo/p
Part 2
Maybe you can call me Eve, standing here under the forbidden tree
pairing: one-sided adamsapple/Adam x male!reader
warnings: language
note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers
It was a little weird, that the devil had to admit, it was a little weird to see Adam so happy, so relaxed, so lovingly. Ever since the former angel had arrived in hell after Alastor's little demon girl friend had ended him he had been even worse than before. He had constantly insulted the residents of the hotel, whenever there had been the possibility to pick a fight with Charlie, Adam had done exactly that.
And it made Lucifer feel strange.
Adam was laying on the couch, you were laying on top of him - chest to chest - his guitar was gently placed on your back as he played for you. Has Adam ever played for anyone but himself? Lucifer certainly didn't think so. Sure, he had played concerts in heaven, but he had mainly played for himself, for his own entertainment, so that people listened to him had just been a nice bonus. But actively played for someone? No.
And your curious, loving eyes were watching his every move, an adoring smile was on your lips and Lucifer's heart felt heavy at the view. The thought was small but it bloomed in him, the thought that this could have been him, that he could be the one laying on Adam's chest while the first man played for Lucifer instead of a random sinner. It wasn't fair, but Lucifer had already known that. Life - or afterlife - never played fair. Never.
“Dad?” Charlie's soft voice made him tear his eyes from the scene, her hand came up to rest on his shoulder. “Are you-” she interrupted herself as soon as she spotted you and Adam and a small sigh escaped her.
Adam played the last chord and then proudly looked down on you, a cocky smile on his lips as you placed a small kiss on his stubbled chin. One of your hands moved to ruffle through his hair and Lucifer suddenly remembered Eden, back when it had been just Adam. Just him and Adam. Those times were long gone though, and the devil knew it, he knew that what they had back then would never return, especially now that Adam had you.
He was thankful that Adam had finally found someone, that he wasn't feeling as miserable anymore and that he actually seemed to try and redeem himself. And yet Lucifer couldn't bring himself to be happy for the first man, not when the person laying on his chest was you instead of him.
The fact that Adam was dating a guy didn't make it easier to deal with though. If you were a girl it would be different for Lucifer, that way he could trick his brain into believing that Adam was straight, that he had no chance anyway. But you weren't a girl and Adam wasn't straight. The possibility had been there, the possibility had been right in his damn hands back in Eden. The bond he and Adam had back then had been special, it had been a connection Lucifer had never felt again in that way. Yet Adam had always denied being queer once his soul arrived in heaven. The image of him kissing your forehead so softly however shed new light on it, Adam didn't deny being bi anymore, he had grown comfortable with it actually. The credit for that went to Angel Dust.
Why you? Why not him? That's a thought that constantly occupied Lucifer's mind. What did you have that he hadn't? The devil didn't know.
Charlie's hand squeezed his shoulder apologetic, she knew. Of course she knew, Lucifer had told her himself after all. He had told her about Eden, back when Adam had been the sweetest creation of God's, right after ducks, that was. A thing Adam had named. Adam had named most of the things, if Lucifer was being honest with himself, it had been his job after all. But when Adam had named ducks, Lucifer had been there, he had been with Adam when the first man had spotted a duck for the first time.
Oh how bittersweet that tasted now.
You looked over, spotting the devil and his daughter as you happily waved them over, Adam simply rolled his eyes in annoyance but remained quiet.
Lucifer tensed up, Charlie however led him over to the two of you.
Oh fuck him.
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elliespeach · 10 months
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tear you apart | ellie williams
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˗ˏˋ"if your friends won't watch over you, i will." ´ˎ˗
pairing ellie wiliams x fem reader synopsis ellie owns her own vinyl store and the day you wander in changes both of your lives forever. she quickly becomes infatuated with you, desperate for your love that she believes is meant to be. when things in your life begin to spiral, ellie is there to catch you, but you'd never suspect she was the reason you fell in the first place. heavily heavily based on the book/tv show "you" on netflix wordcount 4k warnings gosh where do i start, stalking both cyber and in person, ellie is obsessive, manipulative, a gaslighter, a pervert lowkey, possessive and easily jealous, she breaks into readers apartment and goes thru your stuff, shes also so delusional like top tier delulu, shes based off joe goldberg so i mean put the pieces together. this is all from her perspective, most if not all of the inner monologue is ellie's thoughts about you, the italics is verbatim what she is thinking in that very moment if that makes sense. like joe, all of her actions are justified in her mind, and she doesn't see anything wrong with them. reader has a dysfunctional family. pls lmk if i am missing something! authors note hi hello hi, i have been so excited to post this!! just wanted to clarify this rn, i am bringing in a LOT of elements from the book and show, especially in this part, if it seems very similar thats why. i don't plan on following the plot line for season one, but i needed a good base to jump off of, dont hate me. n yes, readers best friend is shauna from yellowjackets i couldn't help myself. i needed a girl group, sue me. cat is apart of this girl group, not ellie's ex along w dina, also not ellie's ex in this au lol
fuckin’ trash, ellie thought to herself, looking over the torn up vinyl in her hands. the guy who returned it obviously had no fucking clue how to take care of something. especially something so needing of love. she placed the vinyl down on the counter beside the register before stepping into the back of the store, grabbing her tools of restoration. as she rummaged through a drawer, the familiar bell rang from the front door indicating a new customer, but she ignored it and continued searching for the sandpaper she always left laying around somewhere. the last drawer she opened was the winner, taking her supplies, she emerged from the small room into the front of the store, the beads in the doorway swaying as she walked through them. 
thats when her eyes found you, examining the vinyl left on the counter. you hadn’t noticed her yet, too engrossed in the mishandled vinyl. she watched you for a moment as you looked it over, tracing the scratches that lined it. to ellie, you looked to be the definition of a nice girl. sporting a flowy sundress that laid just below your ass. nice girl who likes attention, she thought to herself, looking you up and down from afar. 
she played it cool, keeping her eyes on the sandpaper and cloth in her hands as she made her way back to the counter. you finally took notice of her when she stood in front of you. “oh, hi,” you smiled brightly, to which ellie looked up. “whoever handled this vinyl should be in jail.” a sense of humor, ellie smiled at you, letting a breathy laugh fall from her lips. and an appreciation for vinyls, rare.
“a life sentence, for sure.” she spoke, and you laughed. a laugh that was genuine, not forced by politeness. 
“can you point me to where i could find a david bowie album, ellie?” you asked sweetly, and she had to remember she wore a name tag. flirting with me and you like david bowie? ellie’s grateful its a tuesday afternoon, the store is dead. giving her more time to talk with you. you, who seemed to never stop smiling at her. 
“against the wall,” she pointed. “third box from the left.” she lets you wander over yourself, taking the time to admire the way you carry yourself. you had a pair of red, heart shaped sunglasses resting on your head. ellie could tell you liked to pay attention to details, it was evident in the way you matched your sunglasses to your dress, and she wondered just how many pairs you owned. both short dresses and uniquely designed sunglasses together. her head tilted at the thought, switching her over chewed gum to the other side of her mouth. 
you rifled through the box as ellie’s gaze pierced your back, although you were seemingly unaware. david bowie, she thought again. not another stuck up gen z who only listens to who is in the top one hundred, no. no, you were special. ellie put her focus onto the vinyl in front of her, slowly dampening it with the cloth before grinding the sandpaper over the scratches. but she kept you in her peripheral vision and she couldn’t help but notice you were struggling to find a specific one, or at least it looked like it. 
“need help?” she asked you, keeping her voice neutral.
your body turned to face her, meeting her eyes and a faux pout on your lips.“i think the only one i want isn’t here, or i’m seriously blind.” 
ellie chuckled, coming out from behind the counter, “my money’s on blind, just organized this box a few days ago.”
you huffed lightly, standing to the side while she approached you and the box. “i can’t find the rise and fall of ziggy stardust, it’s one of my favorites.”
of course it is. ellie barely looked in the box before she saw the album, pulling it out and holding it out for you. “i’ll book your eye appointment,” she said with a light grin. 
“ugh, my hero,” you gushed, taking the album from her hands gently. i’ll always be your hero, but something tells ellie that you didn’t really need her help to begin with. 
“c’mon, i’ll ring you up,” ellie led you back to the register and you placed the vinyl down on the counter lightly.
“promise i won’t do what that guy did,” you joked, reaching into your bag for your wallet. 
ellie almost wishes you would. you’d come in a few days later, apologizing for being so clumsy but asking if she could fix it for you. of course, she would say yes. how could she say no to someone like you? “you couldn’t if you tried, pretty sure he did it on purpose.” 
“what makes you say that?”
“just a hunch,” ellie shrugs, scanning the barcode on the vinyl. 
“maybe his dogs got it, or worse, his kids.” you kept eye contact as you spoke, which shocked ellie. a lot of people would break away, divert conversation, maybe even stay silent all together. but not you. 
“if that guy had kids, i’d feel bad for them,” to a lot of people, this comment would rub them the wrong way, and ellie internally cursed herself for saying it. you’re a sweetheart in her eyes, someone who wouldn’t think things like that, but again, you laughed. the transaction was almost over and she was grasping at straws, so she kept going. “guys like him blame everything on everyone else, i wouldn’t be surprised if his kids actually hated him but,” 
your head tilted, waiting for more. to ellie, it looked like you were hanging onto every word she said. and she relished in it. “–thats only if someone wanted to have kids with him, which i highly doubt.” 
“from what i’m hearing it doesn’t sound like anyone would want to,” you’re trusting my judgment. ellie’s lips curled up with your words, and she bagged the vinyl in a plastic bag. you handed her a credit card, which was decorated with flowers along with your name. and you want me to know your name. you could’ve used cash, the vinyl was less than twenty dollars. but no, ellie knew better and she knew you better. your eyes found the scratched up vinyl yet again, “but you can fix it?” 
ellie swiped the card against her own wishes. she’d give you the whole store if you asked with that pretty smile. “it’ll be back in the box within the hour, why? you like pink floyd?”
“yeah, for the most part. i haven’t listened to that album yet,” 
“i can put it on hold for you.” ellie rushes out, and she feels like she came on too strong. you could easily listen to it on spotify but she reminds herself that you’re in her store for a reason. you probably own a vinyl player, an older model you got off of facebook marketplace because the newer ones don’t match your personality. maybe a pioneer or a yamaha, and now shes thinking about how you probably dance around your room listening to music. your response breaks her from her imagination. 
“that’d be great, thanks ellie,” but she can see it so perfectly in her mind, you’d wear a big t-shirt and a dainty pair of underwear. twirling and spinning about, the t-shirt riding up as you did and as you stood in front of her in that short dress her mind seemed to unravel and she had to clear her throat. 
“anytime–” she tacked your name at the end of her words with a smile, handing back your card which you very quickly put in your wallet. her eyes glanced down for a split second, admiring how the dress pushed your tits together before bringing them back up to your face. 
“aren’t you going to tell me to have a good day?” you teased much to ellie’s enjoyment, reaching out for the bag she was holding for you. 
“have a good day,” your fingers grazed hers, and ellie knew it had to be on purpose. a flirt, and a good one at that.
“you too, ellie. i’ll be back for that album.” 
you left the store as quickly as you came, taking your sweet vanilla scent with you. ellie thought about your interaction all day, it consumed her walk home and when she entered her small apartment she fell to her couch and opened her laptop. 
plugging your name into any and all social medias was easy, who could forget a name like yours? all your accounts were public, and very quickly ellie could tell just what kind of person you were. the sweet girl who loved vinyls who had an addiction to posting online. your twitter was filled with random, obscure thoughts and always with a hashtag at the end of them. from time to time you’d tweet about where you were, and ellie tsk’d out loud to herself. anyone could find you within seconds, you need to be more careful. you seemed to tweet about everything in your life and ellie refreshed the page, wishing to see a post about the cute girl in the vinyl shop who helped you find your favorite album. 
yet, there was nothing. and for a moment it hurt her, but the more she thought about it, it was better you didn’t post about her. that means it was real for you, hope remains. 
facebook provided the basics of your family, although the account was inactive. but your parents who divorced a few years back seemed to only post about your younger siblings, leaving her to wonder if they didn’t approve of your lifestyle in the city. she stalked their pages like it was her job and at this point it felt like it was. she discovered that your two younger siblings went off to college out west and your parents even sold their home to be closer to them while still living separate lives. ellie felt pity for you, how could they just leave you behind? 
your instagram feed was an aesthetic one, pictures posted solely to appease your followers. a pretty sunset here, a mirror selfie there, a quick post about the food from the restaurant just down the road from ellie’s shop. there were also posts about your own art, colorful and detailed, just like yourself. a painting you did was the last thing you posted, but this one wasn’t like your other ones, it was black and white and had a lonely floating balloon in the center and the borders were lined with overlapping words. ellie could make out only a few of them, ‘melancholy’, ‘nobody’, and ‘distress’. 
there were lots of group pictures of you with friends. ellie could see you looked more authentic than them, who all seemed to resemble something out of a factory for young adults. you were a pearl in a sea of clams. 
out of curiosity, ellie brought herself to your friend’s pages as well. she needed to see the types of people you spent time with, seeing if they were someone she would approve of for you. one friend made an appearance more than others and she assumed that was your so-called best friend, a spunky city girl named shauna. her own instagram was like an influencer’s guide to posting online, and she seemed like someone ellie would avoid at all costs. shauna’s posts of you always had you in the background, or if you were directly in the frame it was a candid where shauna looked better. she's making herself look better at your own expense, can't you see that?   
your other friend’s social media were bland and unhelpful. ellie brought herself back to the task at hand. she typed your name into google and watched the loading screen. your name brought up a string of links all connecting back to your art pieces you’ve submitted to local papers and art galleries. an artist in new york city, aren’t you ambitious. maybe your parents didn’t like the instability of being an artist. but yet, you still pursue your passion. its admirable. 
what also popped up was a white pages link, with a few clicks, and a small charge to her credit card she found exactly what she was looking for. there wasn’t much she could do with your phone number, texting you would be creepy. there was no way for her to explain how she got it, so the next best thing was your address. which, lucky for ellie, was only six blocks from her own. 
if she could find it this easily, she needed to make sure that no one else did. which is how she found herself standing across the street from your apartment, peering into the windows that had no blinds, no curtains, no protection from the outside world. you were on full display for all of new york. first thing were doing together is buying you blinds. you were lounging around on your coach, scrolling through your phone and periodically shifting in your spot to get more comfortable. 
it was dark now, and again, luckily for ellie, someone standing on the sidewalk of new york wasn’t a weird thing to do and no one paid her any mind. for days she would stand in the same spot, studying your movements throughout your apartment. sometimes you would go to bed on the early side, but most nights you were fully awake, sipping something out of a purple mug which she could only assume was coffee, and drawing lines on a canvas. 
everytime you would take a break and scroll through your phone, ellie would refresh every social media, waiting for a post. your fingers danced on the keyboard and after a few refreshes on ellie’s end, your twitter had a new post. 
@yndoesartstuff: if anyone has tips on how not to procrastinate finishing a wip, please enlighten me
if you just put down your phone, i’m sure you could get it done.
one night she watched as you dipped your wet brush into the purple mug instead of the designated paint water cup. they didn’t even look similar, but ellie laughed to herself while you groaned, tossing your head back before getting up to dump the liquid out of the mug. this would also be the first night ellie gawked at you while your hands dipped below your shorts, she quickly looked around. no one else seemed to notice that you were pleasing yourself with your own gentle hands and her eyes found you again, sprawled out on your couch. 
your back arched, obviously hitting your sweet spot and ellie swallowed hard. blinds. were getting you blinds. 
some days, ellie was too busy with the store to watch over you and she hated herself for it. too tired to walk the six blocks and instead just looking over your social media again, looking through your friends posts to see if you’ve been up to anything. you had never come back for the album, which ellie had finished nearly two weeks ago now. but tonight, as she locked up the store she knew she was going straight to the sidewalk adjacent from your apartment. 
when she arrived at her usual spot she saw you through the windows and you looked too well put together for a night to yourself. you were dolled up and ellie liked to imagine it was for her, you’d leave your apartment and head to the store for the album you said you’d come back for weeks ago. but her hope was squashed when a cab pulled up outside your apartment and a woman who looked way too old started to walk up the steps to the building and entered the main door. ellie had been here enough to know the general look of your building's inhabitants, and this woman wasn’t one of them. maybe someone's mom, maybe she's visiting a friend. she can’t be here for you. no way. 
but through the windows, with no blinds, she saw you open your door for this woman and welcome her into your home. your mom. it has to be. ellie’s eyebrows narrowed when you pulled this woman into a hug, then pulled back and let your lips kiss hers. okay, so not your mom. who the fuck is this?
ellie, whose eyes were going from her phone to the big windows of your apartment, began to search through your online presence and found no traces of her. this mysterious woman who, now, you seemed to be having a highschool make out session with on your couch, was all over you, touching you, kissing you, and worst of all, pleasing you. that sweet smile that had previously been for ellie, was now for this woman and it made ellie’s stomach turn. but she didn’t leave, instead watched while the two of you began to peel each other's clothes off. 
were getting you blinds and were getting rid of this woman. 
the next day while she opened up her store, she couldn’t help but think about you and this woman. she was frustrated, of course. but she couldn’t blame you, obviously this woman was prying on your weaknesses for her own pleasure. taking advantage of you. it sickened her, and she had to know more. she had been through every following list she could think of and still, this woman was a mystery. and as she refreshed your twitter (a new hobby of hers), a new post popped up. 
@yndoesartstuff: lunch date with @shaunamavisxx never felt so right – at hoppers tavern
seeing that, ellie locked up shop way too early. it was fairly easy to make her way into your apartment, all she had to do was play the part. “sorry, my girlfriend hasn’t given me a key to this door yet,” she said with a friendly smile to your neighbor, who out of the kindness of his heart let her into the building. she waited until he was in his own apartment before picking your lock. 
it smelled like you once she stepped inside, and she let the aroma fill her nose as she walked around. it was messy, canvases piled up everywhere along with dirty paint brushes. clothes lined your floor from the bedroom all the way to the kitchen and she had to force herself not to clean it up for you. she examined your paintings up close, admiring how the strokes on the canvas looked. she noticed you draw a small bird in every corner, the bird is plump, uncolored and holding a small twig. it was your signature, and it matched you so well. but, what she really was after was your laptop, she found it sitting on your unmade bed. 
no password? she was shocked, and made a mental note to tell you that you needed to secure your devices. it’s almost as if you wanted her to search through it to get to know you better, and ellie did just that. it was linked to your phone and as she went through your messages they all seemed to be relatively normal. for someone like you, at least. 
loads of messages from a group chat labeled city gals, and she knew it wasn’t you who had named it being as you were funnier than that, and less basic. scrolling up, all the conversation in the chat was merely nothing of note, no mention of this woman to your friends which ellie found odd. maybe just a hookup? but even then, wouldn’t you tell your friends? 
ellie could gauge your friends' personalities through the texts they would send, shauna was most definitely the unnamed leader of this group, probably also the one who named the chat. her texts were mostly about planning activities, meanwhile the others just tacked on with fake enthusiastic responses. even yourself. 
leaving the group chat, she continued to scroll down your messages and found an unsaved phone number which seemed to be the winner. you don’t have her number saved, this is good. a lot of your texts to her went unanswered, left on seen and only responded once you’d ask for her to come over. that usually generated a reply within minutes from this woman, who ellie still didn’t know the name of. it angered her even further, realizing she was just toying you along. only using you for your body when you were so much more than that. 
ellie jotted down the unsaved number into her notes app, saving it for later when she could find out just exactly who this woman was. it was clear from the texts that she wanted nothing to do with you, and you still kept texting her like a sad puppy. it was pathetic, really, but ellie didn’t judge. she knew that your attention seeking habits were brought on by your dysfunctional family, she just wished it was her on the receiving end.
she found herself in your emails and saw you had an abundant amount of unread ones. it was a lot of spam and a waste of time, so she moved on. she decided it was best to go into your search history, restaurants, art galleries that allowed online submissions, sometimes even silly questions that ellie would most definitely answer for you if you asked. 
“how do magicians do their cutting in half tricks?” you would ask her from the couch while ellie made you both dinner. 
she’d call out from the stove, “there’s a fake table, the girl puts her legs through that. the legs you see on the other end are fake, baby.” and you would giggle sweetly as you always did, thanking her for being a know-it-all. 
but as she continued to scroll further and further down your search history, she saw that the day you two had met, you googled “vinyl stores near me” and ellie’s was the first to pop up. she thanked every star in the universe for such a coincidence, but the more she thought about it, it couldn’t have been a coincidence because to her, it was always meant to be.  
suddenly your laptop dinged and a new message appeared at the top from city gals. it was shauna and she was proposing a night out and it didn’t take long at all for the rest of the chat to respond. 
shauna: drinks at our favorite spot tonight?
dina: totally what time 
shauna: like 8 ish? 
cat: sounds good to me
shauna: im with our heavy drinker, she says yes too!! see u guys then
dina: hangin w out us :( rude 
cat: yeah wtf 
shauna: oh hush its no biggie, we’ll see you guys tonight 
ellie sat back as the texts rolled in, heavy drinker? ellie didn’t like the sound of it, and your friends seemed to think it was funny. bet they don’t even watch over you when you’re plastered, leaving you alone where anyone could hurt you. a few clicks on your instagram and she found a group mirror picture in a dirty bar bathroom, and the location clear as day at the top of the post. she confirmed it with a few other pictures and a deep dive of your twitter. gotta stop putting your location everywhere. 
ellie knew your lunch date with shauna would be ending soon and you’d return home to start getting ready for the evening. she shut your laptop down, placing it exactly where it was on the bed before and started towards the door to leave. as she was on her way out, a bright red thong caught her eye. it was so carelessly thrown between the couch and the table next to it and she stuffed them into her pocket before locking the door behind her on the way out. she knew you’d never notice, your apartment already looked like a tornado had been through it seven times over. 
she played with the string of fabric in her pocket as she walked down the sidewalk back to her place, contemplating the night to come. if your friends won't watch over you, i will.
read part two here :)
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cinememed · 5 months
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₍ 📻 ₎   the mountain goats lyrics  rp  starters  ! featuring violence, explicit language + subject matters & mature topics . some lines have been slightly adjusted for rp purposes .
let him who thinks he knows no fear look well upon my face.
bring your heroes, watch them all get crushed.
everybody's got their limits. nobody's found mine.
some things you will remember. some things stay sweet forever.
i can see the future, it's a real dark place.
who will mop up all the blood?
there's no promise sweeter than a blood pact.
i'm as happy as i'm ever gonna be. you're by my side.
wrap this around your head. don't let anyone see that you're bleeding.
if you can't beat them, make them bleed like pigs.
and i am coming home to you with my own blood in my mouth.
every moment leads towards its own sad end.
i am coming home to you, if it's the last thing that i do.
i am this great unstable mass of blood and foam.
i think i hear angels in my ears.
some days i don't miss my family. some days i do.
lend me your hand. let me look in your eyes.
when i try to open up to you, i get completely lost.
some days i think i'd feel better if i tried harder.
i woke up afraid of my own shadow. like genuinely afraid.
keep your head low. try to leave no traces when you go.
don't even question your senses, you can be sure it's me.
it was their love you wanted, not mine.
you know and i know, everyone knows it. i'm the one.
i may have failed you once before. but this means war.
the best you've got is powerless against me.
please don't send me back to where i came from.
you're going to do what you want, no matter what i ask of you.
all your little schemes break when they come crashing up against me.
what did i come down here for? you.
i've got you. you've got whatever's left of me.
i hope you blink before i do.
i hope you die. i hope we both die 
i want to say i'm sorry for stuff i haven't done yet.
would you look at that? we're throwing off sparks.
what will i do when i don't have you to hold onto in the dark?
i don't know why it's gotten harder to keep myself away.
i saw the future in a dream last night. there's nothing in it.
somebody's gonna get hurt. i hope it's not me.
i couldn't help myself. i don't know what i need.
i hope the bad guys win. i hope the good guys get their skulls bashed in.
i waited here all by myself.
down there in the dark i could see the real truth about myself.
when you came in, i could breathe again.
you're the last, best thing i've got.
some things you'll do for money, and some you'll do for fun.
the things you do for love are gonna come back to you one by one.
it's not nice to try to kill the same thing twice.
i used to love you so much i was sure it would kill me.
i want you the way you were.
we can leave a nasty mark when we're gone.
i know you don't want me to hurt you tonight.
i don't want you to hurt me the way you do.
i am right here where you want me.
the stars would come out of hiding for you. and i would too.
i will do what you ask me to, because of how i feel about you.
you have questions only a masochist would ask.
your bright eyes are gonna kill me for sure.
nobody is innocent here. i've got more blood on my hands than you do.
you've done something awful. i've done something worse.
you can stand up, or you can run.
we both know know what you've done.
some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel.
we both know you're leaving. you just don't want to say it yet.
i've got no good reasons left not to let down my guard.
you were warm. that's all i remember.
i feel guilty, but i can't feel ashamed.
hang on to your dreams until someone beats them out of you.
when the time comes to loosen your grip, you'll know.
you found my breaking point. congratulations.
nobody gets away. even the best of us come back someday.
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animeyanderelover · 3 months
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Can I please get yandere sakamaki with older big brother who is so different? Unlike them, he hates violence. Always make sure to force himself to drink things other than blood even if it means it kills him. And are always gentle and nice to humans.
He was seen as a disappointment to his father and mother but he always tried to treat his siblings better.
But at the end he later ended up killing himself and later got reincarnated as a human who is extremely gentle. Nothing changed, his appearance and personality is the same.
It's just that he is human now.
Tw: Yandere themes, obsession, possessive behavior, delusional behavior, stalking, clinginess, co-dependence,suicide, death, abduction, manipulation, gaslighting
Older brother reincarnated as a human
Shu Sakamaki
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🎵​After your death, Shu just shut down completely. You were the only one he ever admired and genuinely loved in his family but after your suicide, he was left alone all on his own. Unable to know how to handle his own feelings without you by his side to support him and help him through all the high expectations his mother put on him, Shu just decided to close his heart completely. He lost interest in everything around him because without his older brother around, he saw no reason to pay attention to other people and his hobbies. Without you nothing was fun anymore so he saw no reason to continue hobbies he used to do with you. The only thing he held close to his heart even after your death was music because he knew that you had genuinely loved it, perhaps as a way to express your own sorrow and troubles. Why did he never notice that you were also under pressure? Why did he never help you when you were suffering because of your parents? Should he avenge you by killing your mother?
🎵​Shu doesn't want to delude himself into something when you one day become a new student in his class but the similarities from your appearance to your personality are uncanny. His blue eyes are stuck to your form the moment you enter the classroom and when you notice, you just give him a slightly flustered wave as you wonder why he is staring at you like this. He never approaches you for the first few days but instead he is just lurking around where you are at the moment whilst observing your every word and action sharply. He feels his heart aching whilst watching you but is afraid to let you inside. He doesn't know if he is just trying to project here and feels like it would be a betrayal to his dead brother by using you as a coping mechanism. It isn't until all his younger brothers also notice you and start acting batshit crazy because of how eerily similar you are to their older brother that Shu has to step in to keep you somewhat safe.
🎵​When Reiji eventually comes up with the explanation that you might be a reincarantion though, Shu decides to trust him. He doesn't know if that is because that would be the most logical explanation for why you look and act like their dead brother or because he has finally cracked now with your daily presence a reminder of what he could have again. That's when he finally decides to give in to the wishes of some of his younger brothers who have wanted to kidnap you since a long time ago but couldn't because Shu, Reiji and Subaru held them back. Shu is obvious also somewhat desperate to hopefully trigger your memories from your last life but he isn't as pressuring as others are and is much more chill in comparison. Yet he can't deny that the dynamics have shifted now. You are now human and so much younger than he is which makes him much more protective over you now. It is a strange and somewhat saddening feeling at times because he wants you to be his older brother again but as long as you don't remember anything, that is so unlikely.
Reiji Sakamaki
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☕​Reiji has always idolised you so your death by your own hands has been a devastating blow to his view of you. He has always seen you as someone strong who can endure anything that is thrown in his way even if he did belittle you at times for not drinking proper blood. You were supposed to be this untouchable and strong older brother but after the news of your suicide Reiji realises that you were weaker than you allowed yourself to show. A part of him blames you heavily from that day on for not being what he thought and wanted you to be but the other part is tearing himself apart for never noticing that you were suffering. Why didn't you tell him? Did you think that he wouldn't be of any help? Was he not deserving enough of knowing?! Of course some of his hatred will be directed against your parents and whilst Reiji doesn't know of the current whereabouts of his father, it is very likely that he tries to poison your mother pushing you over the edge. He just wants to punish her for taking you away from him and leaving him all alone with those agonizing questions which you will never be able to answer him anymore.
☕​He antagonises you heavily when he first spots you in his school. Because how dare you to look and act so much like his older brother? You will never be him. He always gives you a cold glare as soon as he sees you and in every class you share with him, he will belittle you for every little mistake you make. He gets into a lot of heated arguments with his other brothers because of the way he initially treats you as he just labels all of them as delusional idiots who betray you for treating you like they treated their oldest brother. After he finally decides to remove his antagonistic behavior a bit and watches you with more neutral feelings, he can't help but acknowledge just how much you act like his dead brother. There is a limit to how many coincidences can happen so he starts studying for a phenomenon that could explain this. When he stumbles upon the topic of reincarnations, he decides to test you if your body remembers things from your past life or if he can trigger some memories from your previous life.
☕​So he decides to talk with you about suicide, specifically the suicide you chose to die because he wants to use an intense memory to thoroughly trigger you. Your reactions and emotions that you can't even explain yourself confirm his suspicions and only then does he decide that an abduction is in order. He tries to convince his brothers to follow his plan for your abduction because he just knows otherwise they would hurt you but it is extremely difficult to contain his younger brothers. It is a constant tug war as soon as you are back in your real home and whilst Reiji actually attempts to make a schedule where your time is divided, obviously no one really wants to listen as much. Maybe also because he tried to give himself more time with you than with the rest. Reiji is also someone who is actively trying to make you remember everything and sometimes he can go a bit too far in his attempts to trigger your slumbering memories. He also would prefer to turn you into a vampire again as soon as possible because the person he admires can't stay a human. You were a vampire in your previous life anyways. This time he expects you to consume proper blood though.
Ayato Sakamaki
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🥇​Ayato is in absolute denial when he initially finds out the news that you took your own life and whoever has delivered those news to him is getting yelled and maybe even slapped at. He doesn't want to believe that you would do something like this to him. You promised him to teach him how to play basketball a few days ago! Liar!!! He veils his heartbreak behind a lot of anger as he doesn't know how to handle those hurtful emotions and he doesn't want to deal with them either. Honestly, chances are high that he plans to kill your mother for shaming you and taking you away from him so she shouldn't be surprised if he one day attacks her with a dagger. At least this is the only thing all brothers seem to agree on. That your mother needs to be murdered for pushing you as far as committing suicide. Ayato never tries to face his sorrow though as he often just turns away and tries to ignore his pain. Differently from Shu, he doesn't stop doing everything he used to play with you though. He just lost his passion and fun for it but he knows that he is still the best.
🥇​You throw him totally off when he sees your face in the crowd and in the next moment he is pushing all other people aside until he can grab you and yank you to him harshly. He is probably going to be acting quite angry and like a little asshole for a while too because seeing someone look exactly like his brother annoys and irritates him. Similar to Reiji Ayato does share the mindset that you don't deserve to act and look like their dead brother but a part of him just also hates how his feelings are acting up whenever he sees you. He has never bothered to work through his grief after losing you and after so many years he doesn't plan on doing so anyways. He doesn't seem to hold a grudge as long as Reiji though and all it takes for you to break his walls is ruffling his hair like you used to do when he was young after he has won a game to which he wanted to invite you. From that day on he is always hanging around you and is insulting everyone who tries to do the same and always invites you to his games so that you can praise him after he has won it. For the first time in years, he actually starts having fun playing again.
🥇​He's all up to kidnap you soon after he has allowed his heart to be opened around you and he always butts heads with Reiji, Subaru and Shu who try to hold him and his other brothers back. It's always a shouting match where fists fly when he is the one arguing with one of them but ultimately he always ends up being pushed back. He's venting his anger out on furniture around him after every such argument because he can just not understand why they are hesitating for so long. As soon as even Reiji and Shu have given in to the idea of abducting you, he and Kanato are already on their ways out to kidnap you and it'll take some effort to hold both of them back. He is not happy about splitting time though and he has never been even in your old life. Now everything is worse though because you are neither vampire nor have your memories so no one is holding him back from playing a game of tug of war in an attempt to get you to spend more time with him. Ayato is going to play so much sport with you because he is so excited to show what he has learned and what new cool stuff he can do now.
Kanato Sakamaki
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🧸​Kanato has the worst reaction as soon as he is informed about your death. Not only is he furious with you for leaving him all by yourself despite you always having promised him to stay with him and play with him and his plushie again but he is also the one who is most likely to just straight-up murder your mother. How dare this bitch!!!! How does she plan to make it up to him?!?!? No one of his brothers would really try to hold him back for killing your mother because all of them share a mutual hatred for her and it might be quite dangerous to try to stop Kanato right now anyways because currently he is ready to murder anyone who just blinks in a way that annoys him. His mind is completely ruined together with his sanity from that day on as he goes into complete denial by acting like you are still here. No one ever dares to try to tell him that there is no one sitting next to him on the empty chair though because he might just grab a fork and try to stab whoever just told him that. Instead they just let him play his tea parties and talk to the air as if you are still there.
🧸​So his mind has a meltdown when he spots you in school and your face is instantly haunting you. A part of him would love nothing more than to jump on you and just strangle you whilst shouting and yelling at you until your body goes limp beneath him. No one is allowed to look like his brother so Kanato has been killing all men who remind him even remotely of him. The only reason why he doesn't do as a part of his mind tells him to is because Shu and Subaru are around you to keep you safe from everyone and everything. You can always sense his creepy stare whenever you are in his vision and it slightly freaks you out whenever you see him staring at you whilst clutching his plushie against his chest. Until one day Kanato just walks up to you and hands you another plushie before grabbing you by your wrist and dragging you away. You promised him. You promised him that you would have another tea party with him and his plushies. Hold your promises. Kanato starts treating you exactly like his older brother from that day on and your lack of memories makes for scary experiences which end with him yelling and shouting and throwing things around in a childish and violent tantrum.
🧸​Kanato is one of the brothers who tries constantly to abduct you from such an early point on but you are always rescued by either Subaru, Shu or occasionally even Laito. Kanato could sometimes just murder them for daring to take his older brother away from him again and a paranoid part of him starts thinking that they're just trying to keep you to themselves. How dare they?!?! So when the mutual decision to abduct you is finally made, Kanato is one of the quickest to rush out to just finally take you back. He despises seeing you around other humans because he genuinely thinks that you're trying to replace him at times. Well, not like he'd allow you such a thing since he has killed all of them brutally already. The purple-haired male is the most unstable and dangerous one though because not only does he expect you to remember everything even if your memories are still broken but at one point he even tries to act like you never even took your own life in the first place which is why you should never even mention it to him unless you want a cup of hot tea missing your head by only a few inches.
Laito Sakamaki
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🎹​Laito has perhaps been the one who had one of the most silent reactions as he never had an outburst or a visible breakdown after you took your own life. A part of him became just rotten after your death though as he silently decayed now that you, the only person who ever paid attention to him and who he only wanted to be noticed by, was gone for good. He doesn't try to kill your mother either. Death is far too easy after all. That worthless bitch needs to suffer. He starts intensely bullying your mother and starts verbally criticising her for everything from her appearance to her behavior. She is so ugly after all. He never tries to kill her himself because he knows fully well that one of his brothers will do that at one point anyways so he is just tormenting her as much as she can until she is finally choking on her own blood before finally dying. After her death though, he feels just so hollow now that he has nothing to do anymore. He starts reversing completely after that and starts doing everything he stopped doing for your sake. You're dead. What is the use in trying to act like a little saint anymore?
🎹​Laito is perhaps the one who approaches you the fastest when you become a new student in their school. He has a mischievous grin and a curious spark in his eyes as he starts chatting with you. Who might you be? Laito may act like a pervert but he isn't dumb. He doesn't just want to brush your appearance and your personality off as very big coincidences. He knows that Reiji is in denial so luckily he doesn't have to ask him as he just does his own research until he also comes across the term of reincarnation. Considering everything, he thinks that this would be the best explanation but he never tells this information to everyone. He's sure Reiji will find out anyways. Instead he decides to get a headstart by befriending you and getting to know you better. He sometimes comes to save you from some of his other brothers and their unbearable antics and starts toning his behavior down around you to make a good impression on you. Laito stays somewhat patient even if at times he also considers that an abduction would be honestly just easier because he can't stand seeing you hang out with other humans.
🎹​So he is delighted when eventually all of his brothers agree on abducting you and he is even more satisfied when he sees that all of his somewhat pushy yet still careful attempts to get closer to you have worked. He's one of the brothers you feel as of now most comfortable around simply because he isn't overly aggressive nor is he acting batshit crazy like Kanato. Laito appears so laid-back and relaxed and that is his plan. He is terribly manipulative though although he is masterfully subtle about it as he sometimes likes to reveal stuff to you about his other siblings to have you shy a bit away from spending too much time with them. Initially it is fun to see that your lack of memories allows him to influence you more easily but soon he grows bored of it and starts trying to help you to retrieve your lost memories from your old life. He wants his older brother back after all even if that means getting scolded by you again for lying and acting in such unfitting ways. Honestly, he kind of misses those half-serious scolds from you.
Subaru Sakamaki
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⬜​Subaru feels like he has been robbed something when he finds out about your death. It has taken him by comparison to his other brothers so much longer until he finally gathered the courage to seek you out and play with you since the words of his mother always out him down and made him feel like he didn't deserve to have fun with you. So he feels like his time with you was so much shorter than the time all his older brothers had with you so this makes it all the more painful for him. He's never crying when he is around others but as soon as he knows that he is all alone he starts wailing and smashing furniture and other objects in his vicinity. He has never had direct plans to kill your mother who was one of the reasons you took your own life but the older and stronger he grows, the more prone he becomes to physically lash out around her which often ends up hurting her in the process. He just can't help the boiling anger whenever he sees her face and recalls that she doesn't care about his brother's death.
⬜​He has no proper control of his emotions so when Subaru one day sees you amongst all the other students, he instantly turns around and runs away. His hands are shaking as soon as he's outside the school, your face in the crowd still on his mind. He never outright despises you like some of his older brothers do for the similarities between you and his dead brother but he is certainly often feeling very conflicted about it. He knows that it is weird and perhaps even wrong to want to get closer to you simply because you remind him so much of his brother and he also sometimes thinks that he might betray his deceased brother by doing so. Subaru is just so prone to getting lulled into a feeling of comfort and security but still feels too insecure and ashamed to just walk up to you and talk with you. So instead he takes a similar route as Shu does by just following you around. He's more likely to walk up to you as soon as he is feeling jealous or protective though since his temper is shorter.
⬜​There is a drop of guilt when it is mutually decided that you need to be abducted since you are apparently the reincarnation of their oldest brother but otherwise Subaru just follows along with his other brothers. He knows that it would be useless to convince them otherwise but he is just as aware that he wants you back in the Sakamaki mansion too. He wants his brother back with him. So as some way to relieve himself of his guilt, Subaru tries to act very nice and careful around you to give you a break from some of his other siblings. Witnissing that you aren't able to remember anything from your previous life nor from him breaks his heart though and he often ends up apologizing to you. He just feels like if he wouldn't have always clung to you for support when he was a child and would have noticed that you were just as burdened as him, you wouldn't have felt the need to take your own life. Now he is stronger though and whilst he is aware that you despised violence and still do, he'll be able to protect you this time.
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albertasunrise · 3 months
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Hope for Forgiveness - Hope
Masterlist
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Summary: After Joel loses his wife and your best friend during childbirth. You support him as he takes on parenthood on his own at 22. But when feelings start to develop, you battle with the guilt you feel for falling for your best friend’s husband.
Relationships: Joel Miller x Reader
Warnings: Like AO3 I choose to give none. Read at own risk. 18+… this is to avoid spoilers! (Wow... the last chapter got so much love and I am so happy y'all are enjoying this ♥️)
Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
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11 years earlier... 
Joel still couldn't quite believe how you'd managed to pull this off. His house was decorated head to toe in tacky decorations in his favourite colour. His kitchen table was smothered in delicious smelling food and the couch was full of presents. 
"Happy Birthday buddy." Alec said sweetly as he gave Joel's arm a friendly pat "If you hate this... It was all her idea I swear." 
Joel chuckled at Alec's statement before wandering over to you "Thank you." He said sweetly as he gave you a hug and pecked your cheek "Didn't think I'd be doing much for my birthday this year with Sarah n' all." 
"Well, it's a good thing I'm back for a bit." Said Tommy as he wandered into the room with Sarah sleeping soundly on his shoulder "Got someone to babysit." 
"Shut the front door." Joel chuffed as he strode towards his brother to hug him, careful not to wake Sarah. 
"Where's Noah?" He asked upon noticing the little boy wasn't around. 
"My parents are down for a few days so he's getting some quality grandparent time." Alec replied as he pulled you into a sideways hug, beaming at Joel as the man started to eye up all the presents on his couch "You gonna open them or just stare at them?" 
Joel chuckled before sitting on his armchair whilst you excitedly handed him presents. He received a new jacket from Alec after complaining to the man that he had was worn out, and a pager from Tommy. Ali's parents had sent him some of his favourite Canadian snacks and a year's supply of maple syrup. There were a few presents from some friends and colleagues that ranged from beer to accessories for his guitars. 
Your present was last. 
"Finally, this one from me." You said sweetly as you handed him a small, rectangular shaped box. 
"You got him Jewellery?" Tommy teased "Your man's stood right here!" 
Joel opened the box to reveal a watch and his eyes widened. He had spotted the watch in the window of a jeweller one day and commented to you that he liked it. The price had been extravagant but with a little one at home to focus on he didn't feel like he could justify buying himself such a luxury. 
"I don't know what to say." He said as he looked at you with misty eyes "I can't believe you got this for me." 
"I thought you deserved something nice after everything that's happened." You said sweetly as you shrugged off his statement "Maybe now you'll arrive on time for things." You teased as you gave him a friendly nudge.
"Thank you." He said sweetly as he smiled at you and you felt your heart squeeze at the look he gave you "This is... It's perfect." 
"You're welcome, Miller." You replied finally before returning to Alec's side. 
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Present day... 
Joel stared at the watch on his wrist as he remembered that day fondly. Its face was smashed from the accident and no longer worked but he'd refused to take it off. It was all he had left of you and despite everything that had happened after the accident, he'd never been able to let you go. 
He had never blamed you for what had happened. For how you had drifted apart. 
He had been the one driving and so it was his fault that Alec had ended up paralysed. If only he had said no to driving. Things would have been so different. He stared at the picture of the four of you and the kids. How happy you and Alec looked together. He had hated how he couldn't hate the man. He had been the kindest, most genuine person, other than yourself, that Joel had ever met. There hadn't been a selfish bone in the man's body and it genuinely hurt to learn that he no longer graced the earth with his presence. 
He normally loved Saturdays. He often had nothing to do. Sarah had soccer practice and then Tommy took her for dinner after. It was their day together and Joel loved that the little girl had such a strong relationship with her uncle. At 12 she was such a mature young woman. Forced to grow up a little too fast which Joel felt guilty about but the girl never held it against him. Her mother would have been so proud of her. 
This Saturday, however, he hated. His solitude and the fact that you were back had him dwelling on pains he had long since buried. He hated knowing that you hated him. That you were back and that he couldn't just call you and ask if you wanted to meet for a coffee. 
After two hours of moping over things he couldn't change he decided to do something constructive. Jumping into his van, he headed to the supermarket. He had his list in hand as he scaled the aisles. Throwing his and Sarah's favourites into his trolly and ticking them off as he went. He looked up in an attempt to spot the next thing on his list only to freeze on the spot. 
There you were. Eyes wide as you stared at him from the other end of the aisle. 
He lifted his hand to wave but before he got a chance you looked away and scarpered. His heart squeezed in his chest as he watched you retreat. Even after all these years, you couldn't stand to be around him but then, he couldn't really blame you. He'd ruined your life. 
... 
You scolded yourself for running but the moment you'd locked eyes with him, you thought your heart was going to beat out of your chest. He had looked good. Time had been kind to him. He's grown his hair out a little and adorned a scruffy beard that suited him. He looked so ruggedly handsome. 
Noah had been off with you since learning that he had known his new friend Sarah since she'd been a baby. He'd also hated how you'd hurt Joel and you couldn't blame him for that either. You'd spent the last decade hating yourself for that too. He must hate you. 
You were a coward. You just couldn't face him. 
If only you knew that he didn't hate you. That he never had. 
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10 years earlier... 
Tommy sat at his brother's bedside and waited for him to open his eyes. He had managed to get special leave to fly back to be with his brother who had woken up from his month and a half long coma the night before. He had gone to yours first, assuming you had been taking care of Sarah whilst Joel was in the hospital. When someone else answered the door he knew something had happened. 
His next stop had been Joel's house. Ali's parents had greeted him. Both looked run down and exhausted but they caught him up with what they knew. Which was very little. 
Joel had collapsed almost as soon as he'd stepped out of the taxi that had driven him home. The driver had then quickly lifted him back into the car and had driven him to the hospital. It had been pure luck that the hospital had managed to find their number and they had been on the first flight over. 
Now he found himself clutching his older brother's hand, waiting for him to open his eyes again. He wasn't waiting too long. Joel woke up a little over half an hour after he'd arrived. Joel was slow to come around. It was a good hour before he was even remotely aware of his surroundings. Doctors and nurses came to check on him before leaving Tommy to sit with his brother once again. 
Your name slipped from Joel's lips as he rolled his head to face his younger brother "Has she brought Sarah by?" He asked and Tommy felt his anger towards you swell. 
"Sarah's not with her." He answered and Joel's brows pulled together in confusion. 
"Who's she with?" He asked and Tommy sighed. 
"She's with Ali's parents." He answered "The hospital managed to get hold of them and they flew out." 
"But where's-"
Your name fell from Tommy's lips in a sour tone "She and Alec have moved away." He interrupted "Went by their house and different people were living there. They moved a month ago." 
"Oh..." Joel trialled off as his eyes drifted away from his brother and locked on something across from him. 
"Joel, what happened with you guys? When I left they were taking care of you and then I learned that you'd collapsed on your front lawn and I-" 
"She threw me out." Joel replied and Tommy stilled "Don't blame her... She hates me for what happened." Joel continued as a few tears slipped down his cheeks "It's all my fault..."
"Joel, none of this is your fault." Tommy replied but he knew that he wouldn't convince Joel. 
He hated how you'd made Joel feel. Hated that you had thrown him out when he was vulnerable and still recovering from brain surgery. He vowed then and there that if you ever came back... he'd make sure you regretted your decision to turf his brother out in his hour of need. 
He would never forgive you for this. 
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Present day... 
It had been two weeks since your run-in with Joel in the supermarket. Noah continued to avoid you. He spent most days with Sarah and you were glad that he had found her again. You were sure from the moment they'd been introduced that they were soulmates. Ali hadn't seemed to really notice the difference in her brother. She spent much of her time decorating her cast or reading her latest book. 
Your solitude made you miss your husband. Despite his condition, he had remained upbeat in the 10 years that followed the accident. He hadn't let his condition get him down and you had always respected him for that. Things had been hard. His ever fluctuating health had affected your relationship in a multitude of ways but you'd continued to love each other until the very end. 
Despite losing touch with Joel and Tommy, you had kept hold of the memories that you'd made together. Photos dotted the house of your short time together. Alec had always talked about what a shame it was that you'd all lost touch. 
You'd never had the heart to tell him that it was your fault that had happened. 
Noah came through the front door pulling you from your thoughts and you smiled at him as hung his coat and up and headed for the stairs. 
"How was Sarah?" You asked, trying desperately to get him to just talk to you. 
"She was good." He replied simply, hanging his pack on the bannister and deciding to head into the kitchen to grab a snack. 
"That's good." You replied softly as you watched him putter around "You and he are spending a lot of time together." 
"Yeah... She's pretty amazing." He replied with a shrug "I guess I shouldn't be surprised we get on so well seeing as we knew each other as babies." He scoffed as he washed the glass he'd just used.
"Noah I'm...I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you." You sighed "What happened to your dad was tough. I was pregnant and facing raising you and your sister with him in a completely different way than how I'd pictured." 
"So you needed someone to blame for that?" He scoffed as he turned to face you "Blame a guy that had just gone through brain surgery and had almost died." 
"It's complicated..." You trailed off and Noah scoffed "My hormones were all over the place and... Your father was paralysed... He was never going to walk again and then Joel was just walking around and I just resented him for that." 
"He didn't deserve that mum." He growled and you nodded your head. 
"You're right, he didn't." You agreed "But I can't change the past." 
"You're right." He piped up and you looked up at him, knowing he had more to say "But perhaps you can change things now." 
"I don't know Noah... I hurt him pretty badly back then and I-"
"Sarah's my girlfriend." Noah interrupted, stopping you in your tracks "So you are eventually going to have to talk to him again mum." 
"Your girlfriend?" You all but squeaked and Noah smiled at you "Since when?" 
"Today, actually." He replied with a shrug "We get on so well and she's so pretty. I know she's a little younger than me but-"
"She's not even two years younger than you Noah, nothing wrong with that." 
"Well anyway. We kinda kissed today and lunch." He smiled as he remembered the moment "We were eating under the tree by the soccer field and she was reading to me and I just looked at her. She looked so pretty and I just went for it." 
You smiled as he regaled his tale to you. You knew that it was only a matter of time for the two of them. They were like kindred spirits. Separated due to circumstances out of their control but fate felt it right to reunite them again. 
And you were glad of it. 
"I would really like it if you and Joel could work stuff out, Mum." Noah pleaded "I really like Sarah and I want it to work but I don't want my girlfriend's parents to hate each other." 
"Does Sarah know?" You asked and he shook his head "As much as I hate lying to her I didn't think it was my place to tell her that we knew each other as kids." He stated plainly "That's down to you and Joel to tell her." 
You nodded. Relieved that he hadn't outed you to her. 
You wanted to fix things between you and Joel but you feared it had been too long to do so. After learning that you'd upped and left whilst Joel had been in hospital fighting for his life a second time had been eating away at you for days. You had thrown Joel out when he'd clearly been unwell and the more you'd thought about it the more obvious it had been. He's not been eating. His headaches had been frequent and had appeared to be increasing in intensity as the days had gone on. 
But you had been too caught up in your own problems to see that he was taking a nose dive... And you hated yourself for it. 
"Okay." You said softly as you smiled at your son
"Really?" 
"You give Joel my number and tell him I'd like to meet and talk." You said softly "Leave the ball in his court." 
"Thank you." Noah sighed as he hugged you tightly and you choked back a sob at the affectionate action. 
"Anything for you my boy." You whispered softly as you kissed the crown of his head. 
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Joel finished placing the tacos he'd made on the table. Noah coming to Tacco Tuesday had become a regular thing. Now though, as well as talk about school and updates, it was filled with sweet smiles and hand-holding between the two young loves. 
Joel knew he should hate the fact that his 12-year-old daughter had a boyfriend but Noah was a good boy. He had felt like they were destined from the moment he first played with her on her playmat. They were two puzzle pieces that fitted together so perfectly. So he couldn't really hate their relationship. When dinner was done, Sarah excused herself to use the facilities and Noah knew this was his chance. 
"Joel." He piped up and the man looked at him from the sink where he'd just placed the last of the dishes "There was something I wanted to talk to you about." 
Joel gave him a bemused look but nodded, coming back to the table and sitting with Noah as he eyed the lounge for any sign of Sarah. 
"I know that you, my mum and dad used to be close. That I've known Sarah since she and I were babies." He started and Joel's head shot back in surprise "I also know that you were driving the car when my dad had his accident and that you almost died." He continued "My mum asked me to give you her number. She would like to meet and talk to you about things. Try and lay ghosts to rest and everything." 
"Why now?" Joel asked, his head tilting to the side as he waited for Noah to answer.
"She's always regretted the way things turned out." The boy continued and Joel's brows pulled tighter "She saw your brother a few weeks ago and he told her about how you almost died after she sent you away. She wants to make things right." 
Joel nodded. Thinking over what Noah had just told him. 
"Your mother blames me for what happened to your dad." He said after a few minutes of tense silence "Are you sure she wants to talk to me?" 
Noah nodded and Joel sighed. 
"Okay, give me her number and I'll call her." Noah grinned at this response before pulling out one of your cards and sliding it across the table to the man. 
"Thank you." He said sweetly and Joel returned it. 
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That following Saturday found Joel sitting in the cafe you'd sent him the address of. He fiddled with the mug in his hand as he watched the door. You'd text him to say you'd gotten stuck in traffic but you would be there soon so he had taken that as a chance to have a coffee and calm his nerves. 
The bell dinging above the door caught his attention and he looked up and caught eyes with you. His heart froze as you both looked at each other a moment before you found your feet again and walked towards him. He could breathe when you stopped on the other side of the table, a small smile gracing your lips. 
"Hi." You said softly as you smiled a little wider at him but he couldn't speak "Been a long time." 
He still couldn't say a word. 
"I missed you." 
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ghost-bxrd · 28 days
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(Don't know if this was asked already but)
What are the Titan's first reaction to Dick calling to them in owl hoots?
And what's their reaction to Batman answering Dick the same way?
At first he wouldn’t make any birds sounds around them at all, opting to wear contacts and talk as little as possible.
The first time they witness the bird sounds would probably be in response to Robin hijacking the comms after Dick didn’t check in with him at the alotted time, suddenly Nightwing is just standing off to the side, hooting and chirping softly in the the comms.
The titans are definitely confused because??? They thought Nightwing was human???? But apparently the name means something after all so whatever. If they can have an alien on the team then a bird-man-whatever is nothing. And Dick, upon seeing that they really don’t care at all, starts making bird sounds more frequently around them. And the Titans likewise learn to interpret some of the sounds (“look!” Is a sharp hoot, “stop!” a chittering hiss, and “nice-move-but-I’m-going-to-show-you-where-it-really-hurts-now” is an amused little chirrup).
The real surprise is Batman and Robin responding to Nightwing with the same sort of bird sounds and it takes them a good moment to realize that—- yep, “tall-dark-and-scary” just hooted at him like an owl. And now, apparently he’s not mocking him because Nightwing appears very happy about it and Robin also makes those weird little cheeps and trills that genuinely don’t sound like they should be coming from a human throat at all and—-
Yep, now Nightwing is??? Cuddling Robin???? Is that a thing?????? And making the softest bird noises yet?????? (One of the Titans definitely tries approaching them but the dead stare Dick gives them makes them backtrack very quickly. The message is clear: no approaching Robin.)
((Jason meanwhile jabs Dick in the ribs hard and pointedly makes his way over to the Titans to cheerfully say hello and let them know that if anything happens to Nightwing on their watch, he’s going to become their worst nightmare. The Titans are reluctantly impressed but also very much aware that Nightwing is still giving them that eerily blank stare that promises a world of pain if anybody even thinks about harming a hair on Robin’s head. Like they ever would. Batman’s wrath alone wouldn’t be worth it, but now they’re starting to see that Nightwing might be even scarier than him.
Wally eventually takes one for the team and introduces himself to Jason, offering to share some silly stories about Nightwing from their last mission and eat ice cream.The speedster is the first Titan to get his individual bird call.))
The Titans obviously aren’t going to question Batman hooting at Nightwing (no way, they value their skeletal integrity thank you very much) but that day, many wild rumors and speculations about Batman are born, some them gaining enough attention that JLA hear of them.
None of them want to ask, but the running bet is either that the Batfamily are all metas with bird characteristics (“It explains how they can stomach swinging through the city like that Roy! They’re meant to have wings, but now they have to compensate!”), or that they’re secretly some kind of eldritch entities that embody all the weirdness of Gotham City (“No Donna, think about it, it makes sense! Remember all those random owl statues and carvings around the city? They’re literally an embodiment of that cursed place!”)
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