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#But at the same time I don't wanna beat myself up for not being able to write much - if anything - most days
whysamwhy123 · 3 months
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HALLEJUAH!! I REMEMBERED HOW TO ACTUALLY FINISH WRITING SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE!!
Of course, it's not any of the fics I wanted to finish. I went back to what is essentially my bread-and-butter now and wrote a short-ish, random OrangeHook fluff. But considering how much writing's been a struggle as of late, I'm just glad that I successfully finished something. I was back in one of those stretches where I couldn't seem to write much of anything. And this fic isn't about their age difference or Hook being a cuddlebug, so...progress?
Unless I decide I completely hate it (which is always a possibility) expect something to drop on Valentine's Day, tis the season, after all.
#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write#Small victories you know?#Will I ever get sick of OrangeHook?? Apparently not#Can't even remember the last time they interacted on screen but that ain't stopping my brain LOL#On a more serious note - I really do hope that I can get back into the swing of things and make some real progress#On the bigger fics I want to work on#I want to finish the messy angst OrangeHook fic at some point even if it's unlikely to appeal to anyone#Annnnnd deep down in my cold dead heart I still wanna make an honest attempt at that DG Dead Dove fic#Even though that would be even more unappealing + a huge undertaking because that bitch would be loooooooooong#Also I had a slightly less angsty OrangeHook idea recently about them having their first fight and I wanna write that too for some reason#And there's still a part of me that really wants to continue Business/Pleasure because I have soooo many ideas for that AU#But that would require me to get over my inability to write smut#And I don't know how to do that (would appreciate any advice on that if you've got some...)#But at the same time I don't wanna beat myself up for not being able to write much - if anything - most days#This is a hobby after all - it's supposed to be fun#There ain't no deadline and it's not like I'm letting anybody down#Just gotta do at my own place#And write whatever absolute trash I want to write 😈#My tags are always so obsessive like SHUT THE FUCK UP SAM#But if you've actually read all these - hey. Thanks. Love ya 😘
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arashi-no-saxlphone · 1 month
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All right so the safejump from that setup I saw on dustloop ( Rensen 8 > OTG c.S > 8IAD j.H ) Works on Ky's S Vapor Thrust. It does not work on Leo's S Eisensturm, Sol's S Volcanic Viper (shocker/s), or Chipp's Beta Blade. It's also annoying and sometimes crosses up? Maybe I'm holding 9 instead of 8 sometimes? Idk. Probably works on slower reversals; I didn't test them all. I didn't test it on Sin either I forgoooooooot. Just... just do the safejump off of throw. Whatever. Fuckin DPs man LOL.
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Pillow Talk: Jey Uso
You kiss your husband's tattoo on his ribcage as he lies on his back, eyes closed and enjoying the comfortable silence. 
"Don't start something you can't finish." He says in his deep voice. He had just finished putting it on you and now y'all are both tired. Who wouldn't be, it's 4 in the morning. He woke you up an hour ago hungry and horny. Though you never got to making him a early morning breakfast, too tired to move. 
"Who says I can't finish?" You smirk kissing along his jawline now. You pull away and relax in his open arms as he rubs your bare back. 
"You remember how shy and quiet you were when we first met? Barely gave ya boy any of your time. Hell even when we started dating you were still standoffish. Wouldn't let a brotha do shit for you." Jey jokes reminiscing on when y'all started dating. 
"I'm sorry about that baby. It's just, you've shown me love that no one else has ever given me outside of my family. It felt weird to be with someone that actually cared."
"Of course because you deserve it. We all deserve love. I mean I understood why you were the way you were. If the people you love are the ones to constantly hurt you, you tend to expect others to be the same."
"Yeah I mean, all before I was never anyone's first choice you know? No one got excited when they talked to me. No one thought of me. It was just me, myself and I. When I did try to open up to a guy, he didn't want me. So to be put in a position where I have to be vulnerable with someone else after being hurt so many times, it was scary." You admit. Jey pulls you closer to him and kisses the top of your head. 
"I think we've all had that experience. Shit sucks and it honestly makes you wanna give up on love. But damn, I was determine to make you mine. We were both taking a leap of faith, but I'm glad we did. Or else how would we had learned that there is true love out there? People love flexing being able to have this person to call when the other acting up. Treating peoples hearts and bodies like backup plans. Nah, the real flex is being able to come home to the one person you know is going to be there til the end. I love the hell out of you girl, and ain't nothing gonna change that."
"I love you too Joshua. More than you could ever know. No matter what we go through, don't ever walk away from me. Fight but never forfeit." You say turning his head to the side to kiss his lips.
"Fight but never forfeit." Jey repeats after you. You stare up at his beautiful face and bite your lip. 
"Round two?"
~
"Oh fuck, enough Joshua!" You moan softly throwing your head back. You hands rest on the headboard, scratching it up. You've been riding your husband and even though you came, he showed no signs of stopping; fucking you right through your orgasm. Your walls kept spasming around him and even though you created a puddle on his lap, his hips kept rocking into yours hard and fast. 
"That's right say my name. Baby you know I gave you my last name so you could scream my first. Say..that..shit..again." He demands hitting your g-spot with each hard thrust. You tried running and that didn't help, only making him put a vice grip on your hips. 
"Oh my God, Joshua! Fuck me, shit!" You scream. "Come on baby, fuck me daddy!" Mouth open, you grip his shoulders as it felt like he was beating down your walls. 
"Fuck bae, I'm deep inside that pussy. You like that shit don't you ma? Talk to me." He says smacking your ass. Only momentarily does he pull out just to get behind you. He takes his big tip smacking it against your clit rubbing your juices all over his tip, coating it. 
"Stop playin Jey and put that dick inside me! Bout to show you how to bust a nut baby." He shivered at your words, a shiver going down his spine. 
"Fuck." He groans sliding between your tight wet walls. You begin throwing it back on him as he looks down at where you connected. Watching as your cream coats his dick. He reaches down, grabbing you by the back of your neck, causing your back to arch. He rolls his hips into yours, the sounds of skin on skin filling the room. 
"Mmmm baby I'm so close!" You grip the sheets feeling a knot form in your stomach. He was too fucking deep. Your walls tighten around him, trying to push him out from how intense he was fucking you. 
"Shit don't do that, bout to make me nut baby!" His thrust become sloppy as he was nearing his orgasm. He couldn't handle the way you were going fool on the dick. He kept pumping into you as you beg him to cum. 
"Cum inside Jey! Give me that nut!" You look back to see sweat dripping from his face down to his abdomen, his skin glistening in the early morning. He looked so good as the veins in his neck popped, his eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated on pleasing you. You feel his dick throbbing inside of your slippery walls as he cums. 
"Yeah baby, I'm cummin'!" You soon feel the all too familiar as he releases ropes of cum into you, coating your walls. "Shit!" He falls to your side as you try and catch your breath. 
"Dammit Joshua, you knocked my damn lashes off." You say peeling a eyelash extension off your pillow case. He says nothing and just smirks as he rests his hands behind his head. 
"Don't know why you so fucked out, we not done yet." You look over at your husband like he's crazy. 
"Boy what?!?!?!"
"Nuh uh, come hop on this face Mrs. Fatu."
FUCK! This man trynna kill me!
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Would I (early 20s nb) be the asshole for "rushing"/taking over the responsibility my partner(early to mid 20s f) took to rehome a cat we adopted together?
🐉🐱 <- so I notice myself
Tw for cat death
I know this sounds terrible just from the title but please read the whole thing. I'm just so emotionally done at this point and it's getting dangerous for us. This is also long lmao and please don't post this to YouTube or TikTok, I don't wanna deal with it, even if I changed names and a few ages.
So I've been living with my partner and her family for almost 3 years. I moved 10 hrs away from my home state to live with her because my parents were abusive. We dated for about 2 years prior to me moving. My partners family are equally abusive just in different ways. My family had some verbal and emotional/mental abuse while her family has constantly threatened physical abuse and lots of mental and verbal abuse.
Either way, I was screwed but I'd rather at least be able to come home to the love of my life instead of only being able to text her. I should mention here that my partner works full time while I'm working to get on disability for mobility issues so I am with our cats every day. I bring a little income with commissions on my crafts but it's not enough to soully sustain us.
When I moved in, my partner had 2 cats, let's call them Salem and Vector. Salem was a 10 yr old male cat and Vector was 2 yr old male cat. About a year after I moved in, in the beginning of 2022, Salem died suddenly from kidney failure and we were devastated. Salem wasn't originally my partner's cat (she'd gotten him from a friend only a year prior to me moving in) but we still loved him deeply. He was the first pet I ever put down and I'll never forget my partner's sobbing. About 2 and ½ months later, we got a kitten, lets call him Arthur, a 3 month old male. We shouldn't have but my partner wanted one, I thought I was ready and Vector was very very lonely and depressed.
I named Arthur and Arthur was feisty from the very beginning but he was sweetish. I told my partner, in a panic late at night a week after getting him; that I wasn't ready for a new kitten, i regretted getting him, we werent bonding, etc etc and she told me to just relax and breathe and give it time so i did. I gave it a full year and a half and... I'm ashamed to say I still don't feel that love connection with him. It started out small; chewing and destroying wires, food aggression (not like he'd bite us if we went near his food, more just got very excited and would painfully climb us to get to our food or any food) and because he was so jumpy, he'd freak out over every sound and rip us up trying to jump off of us.
We got Arthur from a cat colony being watched over by my partner's coworkers however he was born indoors, spent the necessary time with Mom and was handled from day one so he wasn't feral. He'd wouldn't beat us up but anytime he got excited to play or get pet or get wet food or anything we got scarred. His destruction has just gotten worse the older he's gotten, hes very very loud all the time (we like vocal cats but he screams) and he's not affectionate at all. He's not mean but he's just not interested in any cuddling or pets or anything. I don't want a rug I have to feed and clean up shit after.
About 4 months later, we ended up with, let's call her Coral. Coral was another kitten, female this time, when she crawled up in my car. She was feral from the start but she quickly became very loving and cuddly and sweet. She still very much so is. I wanna say, although I never grew a particular fondness for Arthur like my partner has, I've never mistreated, abused or neglected Arthur in any way. I've never yelled at him or treated him differently from our other cats. He got the same cuddles and attention Coral and Vector get, the only difference is that Arthur is crated at night so he doesn't make us lose an eye from some hard zoomies or get into food or dangerous things when we can't watch him. He's out all day and is only crated from 12 pm to 7 am when my partner gets up and let's him out. He's got a bed, food and water, a few toys and a small litter box in his crate so he's covered and he can see us and his siblings the entire night so hes not have separation anxiety.
Now onto the hard part. I'm done with Arthur. Emotional and physically, I don't want Arthur anymore. I'm exhausted from being constantly ripped up and screamed at and having important things destroyed by Arthur the spider cat. No amount of clicker training or treats or sprays of water or redirections can stop him from ripping the room apart(said room is a small apartment, not a normal small room). He gets played with by us all the time and he's got 2 energetic siblings who play with him, we don't know why he acts this way. I could handle Arthur's antics for a bit longer if needed but 2 new issues have made me finally put my foot down about Arthur's further residence with us.
1. Arthur is constantly trying to dominate Coral to the point of hurting her and fur flying fights and scratches. It should be noted that all three cats were neutered/spayed the moment they were of age to do so so it's not a male cat thing. Arthur wants to be higher in the hierarchy but Coral won't take it and thus, some nasty screaming hissy cat fights. Almost very other time they are fine it's just when he gets humpy. There is also a near weekly occurrence of him not reading her " I don't want to play anymore" signals and fights ensue. I'm not gonna stand my cats hurting each other and Arthur is the constant instigator. He tries to fight with Vector too but gets put down immediately, he picks on Coral and not in a playful way. I'm not playing favorites because I love Coral and I'm not connected with Arthur, if Coral was aggressive, we'd take the issue just as seriously but Arthur is the aggressor and Coral is smaller and younger than him so she can't stand up for herself.
2. We need to get out of this house. Her family's abuse is worsening and they constantly joke about hurting our pets and their own pets (the pets have never seen each other, different floors of the house so Arthur's aggression has nothing to do with them). We could barely afford an apartment in the current housing crisis and can barely find ones that allow 1 cat, let alone 2. We have never and probably will never find one that allows 3. All this ignoring the fact we'd lose our deposit instantly from Arthur's destruction.
All in all, Arthur needs to go. I'm noticing myself getting more and more stressed and frustrated and short with a Arthur and he doesn't deserve to live with someone who doesn't love him. Even if he's treated no differently, I'm sure Arthur can tell and even if I feel justified in my lack of love for him, I know he's not trying to hurt us or destroy things maliciously. I'm not nor will ever hurt him but I'm just done with constantly flinching cause he jumped on the bed or dreading letting him out of the cage in the morning because it was so peaceful before then.
I told my partner about 8 months ago (June of 2023) that I was fully done with Arthur and if we ever wanted to leave here, he'd have to go. I told my partner I wanted to start this process in Sept and hopefully have him either rehome or in a no-kill shelter by the end of Oct. I know my partner gets very attached to her animals so that's why I gave her 3 months to process things and a month to rehome him. I was very gentle but stern about this because it would be what's best for him and best for us. My partner agreed but asked if she could do the rehoming and to not talk about it until Sept. I obliged.
Sept, as you can see, has long come and went and now it's Jan of 2024. I've been asking my partner about once a month about the rehoming process and how it's going with mixed results. She made a pet profile on a rehoming site but when I read the description, she didn't really "sell" him well aka mentioned every possible bad thing about him and didn't mention any positives. It felt like she was sabotaging it but I let it be. She showed me a list of 40 no-kill shelters in Dec but she had only checked off 4 of them. She promised me he'd be rehomed by the end of 2023 and he's still here and we are no closer to doing it.
I don't want to wait till the week we move out to rehome him, the stress of the move and changing of the household will be too much stress on us and on Coral and Vector. I don't wanna wait for kitten season to swing back around and we'll never find a place for him. I know it's hard for her but she's breaking a promise for a cat she's admitted herself she's starting to hate. I know rehoming is a process but it's not moving and I feel like my say on his continued residency is being disregarded. I'm not trying to rush my partner but she's broken a promise, it's been 8 months since she could start preparing for this and 5 since she's "started the process" she's dragging her feet intentionally.
So, my idea is that I'll take over the process. I'll offer to help and find the places and get things in order so we can get one less stressor in our lives and Arthur can live in a home with the attention and patience he deserves. I wanna ask her if she wants my help but I don't want her to feel rushed to do it and get upset with me for doing what she promised she would.
I feel like she's waiting for me to just give up and give in and let him stay but she's not the one who has to deal with him all day every day and we don't make enough to find a bougie apartment to take in 3 cats. He'd need to be rehomed even if we got attached because we can't take them all. So, would I be the asshole for taking over the rehoming process for a cat me and my partner no longer like because my partner is intentionally dragging her feet on it or am I justified?
(to note, my partner brought up the possibility that Arthur has a mental illness/possibly be inbred due to the cat colony situation or that we could get him professional training. The issue is we live in a very rural area without a lot of money, 1. We would not be able to afford any mental illness controlling medicine for the long term when we can barely afford our own meds and 2. Classes to train animals are very expensive and the places that could train Arthur are at least a 3 hour drive away. Its not feasible for us, especially when I don't have a license/might not be able to drive on my own due to my disability. If he was properly sheltered, they could get him that help/training or his new owners could afford to but we can't. We can't put him in a kill shelter for moralistic reasons either.)
What are these acronyms?
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steddieas-shegoes · 5 months
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the freak and the hair and lex
it's time for the weekly fic rec, where i give the top 3 (to me) fics by some of my favorite authors. please always check out their masterlists/works because these authors may have stuff you love even more than what i put here! as always, check tags before reading and leave kudos and comments and reblog whenever possible to support writers!
this week is @thefreakandthehair and let me tell ya, this was one of the hardest weeks to narrow it down to my top 3. i have gone back and forth on lex's works for three days trying to narrow it down (and also realized at some point i missed a few posts so i'm about to do a binge read oops). lex is so talented and does so many things for the fandom, so everyone go celebrate her gifts to us!
lex's tumblr | lex's ao3
rounding third, sliding home Rated E | wip/big bang fic The much anticipated big bang fic is in progress and it's SO GOOD. I don't even like baseball, but Lex is proof that I can and will like any situation these boys are in. Massage therapist Eddie!!! Hello!!! I don't have to go into detail to let you know how that's going. Favorite part: Honestly, since it's a wip, I don't wanna give one yet. But I will say that the overall premise of a massage therapist being able to do what trainers and doctors couldn't makes something really happy in my brain.
ice is made to melt (so is my heart) Rated M | 1,507 words It's hockey. I sniff out hockey fics like a hunting dog. I mean it's literally just hockey fan Eddie and I'm eating it up like I've been starving for years. Favorite part because these are possibly word for word things I have screamed at my television at the Bruins whomst I love with my entire heart but would beat with a hockey stick if given the chance: "Are your blades dipped in fucking butter?” “The puck goes in the net!” "You can't shoot for shit, just like you can't grow a decent mustache, huh?" “Your job is to use your big ass body to stop the teensy tiny puck from getting around you and that’s a Hell of a lot easier if you stay in the fucking crease!” 
Livin' On A Prayer  Rated E | 17,915 words It's the classic idiots in love but don't realize it even though they basically have been boyfriends the entire time trope and I cannot get enough. It's like a slow-fast burn in the sense that they're dumb, but this is still short enough to binge in one relatively quick go. Favorite part which is kinda a spoiler so: “And I know myself well enough to know that I would die before letting anything happen to you, especially after nearly losing you once already, so I felt like being here was safest. And I— I don’t mean the same way that I love the kids or Robin or really anyone else. I’d die for them too but that’s— that’s not my point. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I know this is one sided or whatever but I just, I’ve been wanting to tell you just to get it out of me because carrying this around alone for months and months has been wrecking me��� I think I’m in love with you.”
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kairiscorner · 9 months
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bc i have no life, i made (and will expand):
dialogue prompts list or something
REMINDERS! imma use these on fics if y'all want, though you guys can use these too for your own fics, just make sure to give me credit and tag me, attaching a link to this post is also appreciated if you use this ^^
(btw, i can also repeat some prompts, though please be patient, i might not be able to post so much this month ^^'')
1.) "you're a bad influence on me, y'know that?" (miles 1610)
2.) "yeah, i risked my skin saving you. i don't care if you wouldn't do the same for me, i'm not you."
3.) "mind using your eyes AND brain next time?"
4.) "my heart beats all the time, shouldn't be a big deal, but i can't help but notice how loud the beating is when you're around." (teen!gojo)
5.) "never really understood poetry, but when i read a few lines from this... you were the image that came out of the words." (noir)
6.) "if you really wanted to drive me insane... you'd hold my hand for more than 5 seconds, then you'll see me insane with love." (noir)
7.) "please, for the love of GOD, never shut up."
8.) "my hands are cold... wait, what are you doing, i thought you brought mitt--never mind, this is nice."
9.) "something tells me you aren't happy about it. and something tells me you'll be angrier if i keep asking. it's okay, take your time. just know i'll be right here for you."
10.) "if you can't believe me, then i'll have to show you that i'm serious about you."
11.) "sometimes, you don't have to worry about loving me enough--you do that too much already. what you should worry about... is giving me too much love that you forget who you're supposed to be loving first: you."
12.) "man, after 5 shots of whiskey and a good laugh, i think i've made up my mind--you're gonna be the one i'll marry." "we just met." "and i just fell for you."
13.) "they came to get their shit back without even getting their shit together, how nice."
14.) "i would've thrown a brick in your window if you didn't answer, and y'know, i was going to, but then i remembered you hated getting stuff on your carpet so i left and did it in my mind."
15.) "i want a platypus. and yes, i want you, too."
16.) "your place is filthy." "it's gonna be yours too, one day." "you mean ours."
17.) "why are my eyes gross right now?" "it's... you're crying." "nu-uh." "y'need a tissue?" "yes please"
18.) "you're so stupid, and reckless, and a literal danger to my very way of life--and yet i love you to bits!"
19.) "if i could just go back in time and see you again, maybe then i'd tell myself to love you for a long, long time. even if i never knew it at the time, i regret all the years we've lost together, i regret living my life without you in it."
20.) "now before you ask why i beat the shit out of him in the locker rooms, it was because he was gonna ask you out before i could, okay?" (soccer captain!miguel)
21.) "i am a fully grown adult. i am capable, i am independent, i am strong-willed." "and you lose your shit when you see me come home with a mcdonalds' kiddie meal."
22.) "nobody loves me..." "..." "ahem, i said, NOBODY LOVES ME" "and i'm nobody?" "yay"
23.) "i just wanna bash their head in, but... it's so distracting. their eyes get me lost and i'm, i'm out of it."
24.) "man, they're a lost cause. and yet i keep busting my ass trying to save them. i love being your spouse and curse being your spouse, dammit."
25.) "i wanna kiss... right now... but my spouse'll... hate me." "i am your spouse." "oh damn, then you'll... hate me if i... if i kiss your pretty face, love..."
26.) "go to bed right now." "no." "i guess i'll give your plushie all my kisses." "ok on my way."
27.) "again, would it be me or them? me who's been with you this whole time, me who's took you in when you're so used to being refused, me who's... who's loved you, all this time?"
28.) "where are my--" "keys? here, scatterbrain." "damn, i'm so glad i married you."
29.) "kids, go to your room." "as your co-parent, i say protect me from the dragon about to breathe fire on me."
30.) "i may be his wife, but i'm not his lover."
31.) "i think you have me confused for someone else."
32.) "it's because i care about you that i push myself away, don't you get that?"
33.) "we'll never be okay again, will we...?"
34.) "the noises in my head keep getting louder and louder and louder, but only you... only you help calm them down."
35.) "oh, i get it, fine. i'll fuck off."
36.) "i want that though." "it's a waste of money." "you got it for me anyway."
37.) "how could you say i don't love you when all my life, you're all i come home to and kiss a good morning and good night?"
38.) "what a stupid man i married."
39.) "don't... fucking move... not unless you want me to do it..."
40.) "you went in my ROOM?"
41.) "i accidentally broke the bed."
42.) "i love you." "what?" "ah fuck, i mean, i'll see you."
43.) "GOD, I HATE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH." "is that why you draw you and them kissing together all the time?"
44.) "i can make a mean burned down house and scorched lawn."
45.) "i'll admit it, fine, i can't win your heart. because your heart isn't any prize to be won, you're not an object. you're... you're you. and i LOVE you."
46.) "what, why're you staring? can't handle how hot i am?" "no, it's just that you've got a shit-eating grin on your face i'd love to punch off you."
47.) "i actually hate summer vacation... i won't be able to see you everyday for 3 whole months."
48.) "ooh, you drank from my cup, you know what this means, we had an indirect kiss."
49.) "just tell your crush you like them already and stop being a big baby about this." "okay, fine. i like you." "wait--"
50.) "i know it looks stupid, but... i tried."
51.) "it's funny, because i had you in mind while making it."
52.) "you think infinity is real, or... are we just living every day hoping tomorrow will come, despite all odds?"
53.) "you're so fucking stupid...! stupid, stupid, stupid... why did you... dammit, why?"
54.) "i don't even know who i share my bed with anymore."
55.) "bite me and get what you want, what we both want."
56.) "we'll never have to see each other again after this."
57.) "quit making promises you can't keep."
58.) "tell me to shut up one more time. go, i'm waiting."
59.) "ah, sorry, i... oh, your hand's really soft."
60.) "what are you doing?" "just capturing the moment in my mind when i'm with the most perfect person in the whole multiverse."
61.) "and you know what your problem is? you can't stand seeing me happy, that's your fucking problem."
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oleander-nin · 3 months
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Hi again, I'm that same person that sent that long ask earlier lol
Okay ESPECIALLY after the poll you put up, I wanna say again that WE ALL LOVE YOU STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP /p
I'm stuck between wanting to be heartfelt and encouraging or just shaking you by the shoulders and scream at you /aff /pos
Ollie, genuinely, don't push yourself too hard. Yeah we love what you write, but we understand that you're a person with a life. You do not owe us anything.
Forgive me if I'm wrong, or maybe looking too far into this, but I feel like you're a perfectionist? And that you feel you have to crank things out quickly and it all has to be perfect. Maybe you feel somehow indebted to give us things to read. and lemme tell you, it's very easy to get stuck in a loop of "do the creative thing for your followers or else". That is, if you aren't in that loop already. I'm sorry, know I'm assuming a lot, and I'm not meaning to pry.
I just say this because I recognize the way you talk in your tags or authors notes. I'm not an author, but I used to post art. I kept getting more frustrated with myself, (and I can definitely tell you are too). I lost motivation, and it stopped being fun pretty quickly because I kept thinking "it needs to be perfect" or "I need to create faster" all for the sake of an audience. So when you apologize, or seem to value your writing so little, it just makes me worry that you're in that same loop. Heck, I mean, I still don't make art often, I still have perfectionist issues and worry about how fast I can create. But it's becoming fun again, slowly.
I just hope that writing is still something you like to do. I would hate for your passion for writing to be squandered by the pressure and expectations of an audience. I know you have a lot going on right now, even if you try and act like you should be able to push through it and write, but please take care of yourself. If the February challenge is getting too difficult, please don't feel like there's any shame in limiting your workload. We'll be happy with whatever you make, and I'll be even happier if I know you actually enjoyed writing it. /gen
WOW this is long I'm sorry lmao. I've been at this for like half an hour. (Do asks have a word limit? Oops I hope not ahshjsk)
Oh also, don't worry about responding to this is an "appropriate" way. I know that this would be hard for me to respond to, so don't feel pressured to say anything at all. Even if you delete this, I'll be perfectly fine with it. /gen I just hope you read it and understand that we care about you. Please feel better <3
YOU TOOK THIRTY MINUTES FROM YOUR DAY TO WRITE ME THIS???? THE HONOR???? SOBBING THANK YOU
Breaking this down paragraph by paragraph cuz you deserve it💪(also I'm avoiding responsibilities rn shhh)
Okay first of all, thank you a lot. This entire thing kinda helped me realized just how bad I was letting myself get. In the back of my mind, I know I don't have to write, or that I shouldn't be doing it the way I am, but it felt like an obligation at some point, both from trying to repay you all in the only way I know how, and from trying to catch up with everyone else. Sometimes it feels like I'm falling behind, and if I don't keep going, I'm just going to lose everything.
I forgive you<3/lhj, but you're not technically wrong. While I'm not in the perfectionist in the sense I won't post something unless I deem it perfect and have checked over 8 times(what I used to do), I still tend to pick apart everything I've made and found every flaw. I realize this is a problem, and have been yelled at by many a teachers for it lol. But yeah, a lot of the time I do feel indebted, and I probably am stuck in that loop(Which is why I'm so bad at actually taking breaks). Don't feel bad for assuming, nothing you could say would really offend me, and you've been dead on this whole time.
I've been meaning to stop talking about how much I hate certain parts of what I write in the tags+A/N's, because I know listening to me whine and cry about something that doesn't matter gets annoying, but I'm not good at that either I guess lol.
I'm fairly certain that writing will always be fun for me, as I'm still looking forwards to doing a lot of the requests I got and one set of ideas I have, but finding the will to write it down seems impossible right now. It's like I'm stuck at the bottom of a sheer cliff and I can't start writing until I read the top. The main reason I'm so mad at myself for flopping so bad with this challenge is because I was able to do the Horrortober one just fine, as well as maintain a schedule for a while. It feels like I'm getting worse rather than getting better, and It's just making me frustrated with myself to the point of just wanting to quit(not that I think I'd be able to if I'm honest. I tried once, yet here I am, only 3 years later.)
Anyways, I'm just going to start putting more time into the writing instead of trying to force a deadline. I want to be able to make longer fics again, and to start TWOAL back up(I've been avoiding it because I want the chapters to start being 4000+ to mimic actual books). I want my writing to seem like it has care and quality, and not like it was produced by a factory. I have once headcanon style fic about the Vamp turts in the work I was spending days on to make sure it was decent, and it alone is better than a lot of stuff I've put out recently.
ANYWAYS
Thank you! I appreciate your words, sorry for the vent. I'll probably just delete this half later lol, but I needed to get some stress out.
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athenasgotu · 7 months
Text
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title: drunk in love (part 1)
pairings: college!ellie williams x female!reader
word count: 1183 (i've been writing this for three days)
summary: your friend invites you to your first college party. you didn't know she was going to be there. ellie williams, practically your enemy. you two HATED each other in highschool, why would it be any different now?
sfw/warnings: swearing, drinking, smoking
(disclaimer: this is sfw !!)
a/n: this will be a series this is just a quick start of it. sort of.. proofread.....ok enjoy !!
✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩ ✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩
part 2 ⬇️
https://www.tumblr.com/athenasgotu/733724112939253760/%EF%BE%9F-%EF%BE%9F
after a few shots of God knows what, you feel relaxed, but everything was blurry as well. you put the plastic red cup down, leaning back in the chair.
"you good?" she says.
you look at your friend, you nod uncertainly, "yea, all good." you lick the liquor off your lips. looking forward, you see a familiar face. auburn hair, fair skin, small freckles spread across her whole face, the small slit in between her left eyebrow, that same arm tattoo. Ferns. holy shit. ellie williams? you thought. no, it couldn't be. you haven't seen that coldblooded face since high school. oh, fuck me. your intoxicated mind was thinking a lot.
out of all the people, it had to be her. suddenly, you see her eyes pierce into your soul for a moment. for some reason, your heart skips a beat, your chest tightens. you had no idea why your body was reacting to her glance like this. was it good? was it bad? it felt good.
you notice a small smirk appear on her face once she looks down away from you. of course, you continue to stare at her, admiring her. she doesn't notice, not until she looks back at you.
your pupils widen, you look down.
she didn't see right?
without looking up, you see the black converse the same ones Ellie wears.
she walked to you.
"didn't expect to see you here." she says in a raspy tone. she looks down at you.
still, you weren't making eye contact.
"look at me when i'm talkin' to you." she demands.
instantly, you snap up. you look right at her, feeling nervous and giddy, trying to not make it obvious.
"hey, ellie." your voice cracking slightly.
she smiles at you, she seemed nicer. why?
"you look good, cutie." she licks her chapped lips. you notice that, you take note on it. the way she did it was just attractive.
the new nickname caught you by surprise. not seeing her after a few years after highschool and this is how your first encounter goes? ridiculous. you were expecting her to be calling you names by now or teasing you. i guess not.
"so, how's life treating you?" she snickers. "still trying to impress people who don't like you?" she teases.
you spoke too soon. she hasn't changed, not even a bit.
"no," you pause. "i've been doing fine. you?" you look right into her green eyes, they were mesmerizing.
"what about me?" she smirks. "i wanna know more about you, cutie." she takes a chair, she pulls it next to you and sits down.
"c'mon. tell me more." she smiles at you.
more? what more could you say?
"oh, well-"
ellie puts her pointer finger on your lips, she shushes you. she smiles.
"actually, don't tell me. you'll bored the hell out of me." she blurted out. she smirks. as you scoff and you move her hand away.
"you're the one who asked, dumbass." you snap at her.
ellie pouts. she manspreads and puts her arms in between her legs.
"well, damn." she scratches her bottom lip and looks down. "i didn't expect you to actually start sticking up for yourself." she added.
you were shocked. she really thinks i wouldn't be sticking up for myself after all this time. sure, you were the quiet girl in high school but people change, you changed. maybe ellie can too?
"is that a bad thing? upset you won't be able to pick on me like you used to, hm?" i was having rather fun with this. being able to tease ellie back, it was enjoyable. maybe ellie liked it too.
"no-" she smiles. "it's a good thing. to be honest," she pauses for a moment. she looks right into your eyes and puts her arm over you on top of your chair. "i'm proud of you."
proud of me? she's proud of me? wow, ok. you didn't know why, but ellie being proud of you made you feel good inside. you felt important.
a smile creeps up on your face, you look at ellie.
"thanks." you said.
:・゚✧:・゚
it's been several days since the party. you're still thinking of ellie and what she said. i'm proud of you. it stuck to you. it made you feel good.
as you lay in bed, all you could think about was ellie. how she made your heart race, make you smile, and most importantly how she's proud of you. why did her pride make you feel so special? without a thought, you grab your phone and search for ellie's instagram.
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once you find it you scroll through. you see her in her jeans and sweatshirt. her half up, half down hairstyle. it was cute. you realize ellie's number is one of her posts, why the hell would she post her number? this was your chance. you could text her..
and that's what you do.
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holy fuck, you did it. she called you babe now? what is going on with her? it didn't matter, as long as she was good with hanging out with you.
once it hit 9pm, you got ready immediately. you were in the bathroom, you put on some lipgloss and did your hair nicely. you wanted to impress ellie and have a good appearance. you wore some jeans and a crop top. it looked cute, at least thats what you think. it all matters how ellie thinks about this. if she likes it, then its good. you hear a knock on the door.
she's here already?! it's only 9:30?
you quickly fix up your outfit and hair. your friend wasn't even here yet, then you get a text from her.
hey, can't make it.
you read. that little- she did this on purpose. she WANTS you and ellie alone. goddammit.
you open the door, you see ellie and your heart beat increases. your breathing fastens.
"hee.." you couldn't even get your word out. you clear your throat and smile. Ellie laughs a little by your reaction.
"heh.. hi." you said quietly. Ellie waves, she slightly moves you to the side to walk in. you didn't even care, her touch made you feel good.
she sits down on the couch, manspreading. she puts the joint in between here small pink lips putting her hand over to light it up. then, the smoke blows out slowly.
it was beautiful. she was beautiful.
you sat next to her, looking at her in the eyes. she looks at you too. the tension was real. it heated up in the room, or that's what it felt like. it was just your body. you felt so close to ellie.
"you good?" she asks.
you nod. "yea, yea.." you look down, trying to avoid the eye contact as always.
suddenly, you feel strong hands on your chin lifting your head up.
"you sure?"
ellie and your eyes lock with each other. you didn't know what to do or say. you glance at her lips, biting your own. you look back at her eyes.
what the hell do you do?
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lythea-creation · 22 days
Text
Brighten My World - Tasneem x fem reader (Chapter 5)
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Chapter 1
Previous Chapter
warnings: none, i think
word count: 937
----------------------
“Are you coming to Omar's birthday party tomorrow night? I'd really love you to be there”, Tasneem proposed.
Once again we were cuddling on her bed after school.
“Sorry, but I can't. I already have plans”, I enlightened her.
“What plans?”, Tasneem wondered, looking down at me.
I had not wanted to tell her at all, maybe after it was all over. After all she had been looking forward to Omar's birthday party for quite some time now as they were pretty good friends. Honestly it surprised me that she had waited so long to ask me to come along. Although she had probably just assumed that I would agree to tag along anyway.
“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. It's okay”, she reassured me. “It's not like you're obliged to tell me where you are just because I'm your girlfriend.”
“That's not it. I just … I'm going to a memorial for Layan. And I didn't want to tell you because I was scared that you'd feel weird about it or wouldn't be able to enjoy the party”, I admitted.
“Do you want me to come?”, she offered.
“You don't have to.”
She interrupted me: “I know. That's why I asked if you wanted me to come.”
“I don't want you to miss out and feel out of place”, I noted.
“Still not what I asked”, she reminded me.
“Okay”, I snapped. “I want you to come! Happy now?”
She gently stroke through my hair, calming me down again. “I'll come”, she promised.
I wanted to resist again. It felt like I did not deserve her kindness, her support. But at the same time I desperately tried to resonate with myself. After all it was probably my grief that was talking, the urge to isolate myself. The guilt of not being able to save Layan that was gnawing at me. The guilt that was trapping me, telling me that I deserved to suffer.
But it was all in the past. It still hurt of course and rationally thinking it should. Layan had been incredibly precious to me after all.
Yet Tasneem was with me now and I did not want to miss out on my life with her over the one I had lost with Layan. There simply was no going back in time. And considering it was making me feel torn.
Because even if I could change the past, it would mean to lose Tasneem. So the what if scenario was not soothing in the slightest.
“I'm sorry for yelling at you”, I apologized.
“It's nothing really. Hiba's way worse, you know”, she claimed.
“I still don't like it. I don't wanna hurt you”, I noted.
“Like I did when you visited me for the first time?”, she wondered.
“Is it still bothering you?”, I inquired.
I took her hand that was caressing me and turned around a bit to be able to look up at her properly.
“Kinda”, she admitted. “You didn't deserve that.”
“But you needed to vent”, I pointed out. “You were just not used to talking about your feelings. That's why you talked me down. Of course, it wasn't the right way to handle it, but you did all you could. Apologize and not repeat it. There's no need to beat yourself up over it.”
She softly smiled down at me and gave me a kiss on the forehead.
“But about Hiba”, I changed the topic, sadly making her smile falter. “I really think you should talk to her.”
“Did you forget how she treated you? She literally threatened you”, she recalled.
I had told her about the bathroom incident. Not to screw Hiba, but to get it off my chest.
“Just view it from her perspective. You two have been best friends and all of a sudden you started hanging out with Sarah, placing her over everything and everyone else, including her. I bet she feels like you replaced her and that's why she's acting out so much. She misses and needs you. Now you're spending pretty much all your time with me, which I'm not complaining about by the way. But I think it's understandable for her to be jealous and feel left out”, I considered.
There was a small moment of silence as she was taking my words in.
“Shit”, she cursed quietly. “Why do you always have to be right?”
“Naturally gifted”, I joked, earning a laugh from her. “You could ask her to spend the weekend with you.”
“But we already have plans”, she reminded me.
“Which won't disappear until the next weekend”, I remarked. “I don't want to force you to do anything, but that way you can find out how to handle the situation. You know what your therapist advised you.”
“Be blunt with the people I care about instead of holding up a facade. Yeah, I know”, she declared.
“So what do you think?”, I questioned.
“Okay, I'll try. I do miss her”, she confessed. “Although I really don't wanna leave you alone after tomorrow.”
“Maybe I can hang out with Rania”, I suggested. “I haven't seen her in a long time.”
“Who's Rania?”, Tasneem wondered.
“Layan's best friend. We also came along well, but we kinda lost each other after Layan's death. Were too busy grieving, I guess”, I enlightened her.
“I'll text Hiba then”, she proposed.
I only hoped that it would all work out.
--------------------------
Next Chapter
So what do you think?
Tag List: @sunwoniie
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suugarbabe · 9 months
Text
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So I wanna do some little drabbles and one shots between working on the two fics I have going right now so here is a little prompt generator for you lot. Rules: pick a character, pick an emotion/trope, then pick a number (up to 2) and send an ask. Have fun lovies 😊😉
Character:
Mattheo Riddle
Draco Malfoy
Theodore Nott
Fred Weasley
George Weasley
Ron Weasley
Emotion/Trope:
Fluff
Angst
Smut/Smut adjacent
Dialogue
"I like how good your hand looks in mine"
"You're so cute, you know that?"
"Don't go anywhere I can't follow"
"That noise...keep making it"
"You're mine"
“Because I’m worried I might end up committing murder if I keep hanging around you.” 
"Stay behind me, alright?"
“Why do you always look at me like that?” “Like what?” “Like you… Want me.” 
"Why did you do that?"
"Hey! Eyes over here, not on them."
"Where were you? It's two in the morning."
"It's your birthday today, right?"
"Why are you mad?"
“I’d pay good money for you to admit you tolerate me.”
"Wanna practice?"
He doesn’t even deserve to be breathing the same air you are.
“I’m finally comfortable. I’m not getting up now.”
"You'll have to teach me."
“Are you offering?”
"How long has it been since someone hugged you?"
“Stop staring at me like that, it’s making me feel things I don’t want to feel.”
“i love being able to hear your heartbeat when i hug you.”
“Because I don’t want to do anything I’d end up regretting because I couldn’t control myself…”
“You’re still on that?”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be good enough to beat me one day.” 
"Are you really so oblivious?"
“I genuinely don’t know why my brain just goes blank when i look at you. i think i’m going a little crazy.”
“Do you… Like like me?”
"I don't know if it's the alcohol, but you don't seem that bad now."
“If I knew we’d come to this then I wouldn’t have agreed to be your friend in the first place.”
"Can you call me that again?"
“I can’t believe i’ve never seen this side of you before.”
"no, you didn't just call me 'love' you said 'my love'. that makes a huge difference."
“I’d love to stop kissing your neck in public, believe me, but it’s all i can reach!”
Can I kill him now?
Whether you like it or not, you're safest with me.
"They're almost undressing you with their eyes!"
“Every time I think I’m finally over you, you come back and ruin everything. Why would you do that? Do you hate me that much?”
“You don’t have to do anything. just being here, with me, that’s enough.”
"Look me in the eyes this time and say you don't feel anything for me."
"Were you always this pretty?"
"The room's spinning but your face is clear. And so beautiful."
"Love, can't you see how wrecked i am for you?"
"You okay? You're never this quiet."
"I don't need to have the heater on when I can just cuddle with you, you human fireplace."
"Thank god I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Don't you dare patronize me with your pathetic excuses!"
"I never knew that about you. it's cute."
“Seriously, you didn’t have to go to all this effort just for me.”
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winterlogysblog · 2 years
Text
FAIRY TAIL FANFIC | PHONE CALL
Title: Phone Call
FF.NET | AO3
Pairing: Gray Fullbuster/ Juvia Lockser
Based from this beautiful Chapter Cover....
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Gray fidgets with the miniature communication lacrima in his pocket as he figures out the perfect time to excuse himself from the group.
"We could set up camp here." Erza declared.
Wendy nodded and started setting up the camp with Carla. Lucy, Natsu, and Happy soon followed. Gray sighed and placed his satchel on the ground, and helped out for a bit before sneaking away.
He walked a couple of meters away from the group and blended into the crowd of the town.
"Our tents are done." Erza proclaimed. "Now, Natsu, Gray, and I are going out to hunt for our dinner. Lucy, Wendy, you two guard our camp.
Erza fixed her armor and looked around and noticed that a certain ice mage is missing.
"Where's Gray?" 
"He's here just a second ago," Wendy replied, shifting her head from left to right trying to find him.
"That jerk's slacking off again!" Natsu shouted. "I'm gonna find him and beat his lazy butt." He ran forward, leaving everyone behind.
Erza sighed. "I'll go hunting."
"Happy, follow Natsu and make sure he doesn't break anything."
"Aye, sir!!" The blue cat gave the knight a salute before flying away.
"Gray-san's grown habit of running away whenever we're about to set up camp or check in a hotel," Wendy spoke.
"Yeah." Lucy nodded. "It's weird, he never does that before."
"What could he be doing?"
"Hey, how have you been?" Gray said, leaning his back against a wall, his miniature communication lacrima prompt up in his ear
"Juvia's good, she just got back to the apartment. How's the mission?" A soft voice passed through the lacrima.
"Tiring, being able to hear your voice is sorta therapeutic."
"Juvia misses you." Juvia giggled, clutching a pillow to her chest.
"I miss you too."
Gray responded with a low chuckle before continuing their conversation.
"How's the guild?"
"Still the same. Although, we got some new members." Juvia responded.
"This isn't another Touka situation is it?" Gray arched a brow.
Juvia giggled. "No, this is different."
"Jellal, Meredy, and Cobra joined."
"I guess that makes sense." Gray nodded.
"Meredy planned on taking Juvia on a job with her and Jellal," Juvia added.
"Also with Jellal." It's a weird feeling but Gray doesn't like the idea of Juvia going on a mission with him even if he knows there's nothing wrong with it.
"Meredy thinks it'll be a fun bonding experience," Juvia replied.
It makes sense, both Juvia and Jellal are close friends with Meredy. It's normal for her to want both of her close friends to get along. However, Gray can't help but still get that uneasy feeling.
"Is there anything wrong, darling?"
"Nothing, it's great that they joined the guild, who knows, maybe in one of Jellal's missions, he'd stumble upon Erza again." Gray joked and he received an adorable giggle from the water mage.
"Where is Gray-sama now?"
"Some random corner in the town we're in, I gotta separate myself from the others mainly because Natsu is way too loud." 
"Has Gray-sama eaten yet?"
"We just set up camp, Natsu and Erza are probably out hunting." 
"You're not gonna help them?" 
Gray shrugged. "They can handle it, I wanna talk to you."
Natsu is finally able to find Gray, he's leaning at a brick wall in some random corner, his miniature communication lacrima is up against his ear, clearly speaking to someone.
"Oi!! Stripper!!!" The dragon slayer called.
Gray jolted up, his attention shifted towards Natsu.
"Natsu's here, I gotta go." He spoke over the lacrima.
"Alright then, take care Gray-sama, Juvia loves you," Juvia responded.
Gray smiled before hanging up. "I'll call again tomorrow."
"Who's that?" Natsu asked, running towards the ice mage.
"It's just Juvia," Gray mumbled a response.
"Ohh he loves her~." Happy giggled while flying in circles.
"Ugh." Gray rolled his eyes. "This is why I don't tell you guys about stuff." 
"Hey!!" Natsu gasped, offended by the statement.
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itsalltaken · 2 years
Text
Missed Target
Steve Harrington x Reader (Part II)
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Synopsis: After having a crush on Steve for so long, you decide to confess after everything is sorted with Vecna, but fate doesn’t seem to be on your side this time around
Warning: Angsty at first but has a happy ending
•~•
My eyes flash open and a fire erupts in my chest. It burns to breath and I feel paralyzed. What happened? Did I die? No, I couldn't have been, not when I was hearing Steve's voice. He sounds worried.
"Shit! Y/n! Stay with me you hear me? You'll be okay. We'll get you some help and you'll be alright" He shook me and held me against his chest, urging me to not let the darkness consume me. I can't help it though, I'm too tired. It's all too much to bear. I'll just close my eyes for a moment. I'm sure it'll be fine.
"No, Y/n! Fuck I can't lose you now. Come on! Don't let me give up on my dream!" Was the last thing I heard, along with a few frantic cries from Robin and Nancy before I let the darkness take over.
Steve POV
Fuck fuck fuck this cannot be happening. I can't lose her. Not now. Not ever. I had my plans and it all can't get ruined just because we didn't realize that Vecna wasn't only targeting Max.
"Steve, we need to go! This place is going down!" Robin and Nancy tried to grab me and haul me to my feet, but I wasn't going. Not without Y/n. She was either going with me or I'm not going at all
"I'm not leaving her here!"
"I'm not telling you to leave her! I'm telling you to pick up the pace if you don't wanna die in here!" With that, I carried Y/n on my shoulder, being careful to not damage anymore of her dislocated bones.
"Hurry up!" I hear Dustin call from the distance, pausing when he realized that only three of us were running towards him
"Shit what happened to Y/n?!" Munson and Dustin shouted in panic at the same time
"Max wasn't the only target" Robin explained quickly before pushing us to start running when the rumble of the ground got closer to us.
•~•
Picking up flowers, I make my way to Y/n's room with everyone following behind me. It's been a week since everyone was reunited and since Y/n was brought to the hospital. The government had given Eddie the clear and gave the public a fake explanation on what had happened and made Jason be the culprit of all the deaths.
"Hey" Nancy placed a hand on my shoulder, peering up at me "You okay?"
"Yeah," I sighed "It's just always hard to see her in this condition"
"No ones exactly taking it easy" Nancy sighed, looking back at the group of kids talking amongst themselves and looking rather gloomy. Hell even Munson was here. According to him, she was a personality that he was fond of.
Opening the door to her room, my heart is torn between aching and skipping a beat at the sight of her being connected to pipes and tubes while having bandages around her. Even looking like this, she still looked beautiful.
I couldn't let her go. I can't let her go. I already got closure on my old feelings with Nancy, so that I could move on. She can't just walk out on me like this. I won't let her.
Replacing the flowers that had wilt out on a nearby vase, I changed it with the new ones I had bought. Everyone proceeded to place balloons, flowers, and their own share of gifts around her bedside, hoping that she'd feel everyone's presence and wake up already.
Y/n POV
I lay on the grass as I stare at the bright blue sky. It was so beautiful. It was all so beautiful. The grass, the sun, the view. Everything was so perfect and peaceful, and yet, something felt odd. Something was missing despite everything being here. What more could I even need? What could possibly be misplaced? I hav-
Steve, Dustin, the gang. They weren't here. They were missing in this perfect world. What was I doing here again? How did I even get here? What was I doing before I got here? Right! Vecna.
I smile to myself, remembering seeing that clock obsessed freak burst into flames. Nancy and the other were able to beat it. I close my eyes and let myself feel euphoric. But I remember myself dying, so what was I doing here? Where even am I?
Before I could register my surroundings, I see a bright light crashing down on me from above. I try to hide myself away and protect myself, but I couldn't move. It was almost as if I had gotten paralyzed.
...
It was silent for a moment when I heard slow rhythmic beeping. I squinted my eyes and let myself adjust to the harsh lighting. I looked around and realized I was in a hospital. I tried to move my head around as well as my body, but it hurt like shit when I tried. It burnt and if you listen close enough, you could actually hear the cracking of my bones.
Suddenly, a flush was heard from the toilet and my eyes snapped to the toilet door that slowly opened.
"Y/n?"
Steve. I tried to talk, but then realized how my my throat was. Seeing this, Steve was immediately by my side and got me a cup of water with a straw since I couldn't lift my body.
"How's that?"
"Better" I croaked. Getting used to the feeling of talking again. I pause and take in my surroundings fully. My bedside was filled with letter, balloons, and flowers "What happened?"
Steve put his hands in his pocket before taking a seat on the chair beside my bed "Well, we set Vecna on fire and ran when the four gates opened. You were apparently the last key to the last gate"
"Is everyone okay?" I asked
"Yeah. Eddie got a few scratches and Max got herself a cast, but other than that everyone's fine" I nodded, taking it in. It was good that no one else got hurt badly.
"I guess I should leave you to rest then?" Steve asked after a moment
"Yeah, perhaps" I smiled as he left and ignored the hope that had bloomed inside me that he was going to stay by my side, but it was too good to be true I guess.
Just as Steve was about to leave, he paused and turned back to look at me "Actually wait. I have to tell you something"
"Okay?"
"At the upside down" he took a deep breath "At the forest. I know you saw me and Nancy" My breath had gotten caught at my throat when he said those words, and suddenly, it was like I couldn't breath again.
"Yeah, I did. But didn't wanna ruin the moment between the both of you" I laugh in an attempt to hide the pain. Geez physical and emotional pain just had to have a run in together
"Well it's okay and you mis-"
"But whatever your decision is, I do hope that you make the right one. Jonathan is a good guy and I'd hate for him to be so heartbroken when you and Nancy get together" I talk before he gets the chance, just wanting to get this whole ordeal over with.
"Y/n!"
"Sorry, yes?"
He took a deep breath, weaving a hand through his hair "Why am I nervous to say this. I'm Steve fucking Harrington come one!" I chuckle as he muttered to himself, giving himself some pep talk.
"Steve?" I ask with a smile when his mutterings got lower and he actually looked insane now
"Okay!" He suddenly exclaimed, looking at me with determination
"What-" He walked in large strides towards me with a certain fiery glint in his eye, and before I can realize it, his lips were on mine. The action was slightly awkward since I had a cast around my neck, but I could careless about that right now.
I melted into his hands which cupped both of my cheeks, and at the feel of my response, he leaned further down to deepen it. I couldn't think. Everything was a fuzz and I was starting to get dizzy. At the moment in this time, it was just me and him. When he could feel that I needed air, he slowly pulled away and leaned his head against mine. I took slow deep breaths as I tried to calm down my beating heart.
"What?" I breathed out when I finally recollected myself
"It was never Nancy. it was always you" He said without missing a beat "I mean it used to be Nancy, but now it's you"
"What?" I couldn't register his words. What was he talking about> Didn't he literally confess his dream of six kids and a white fenced house with her "But didn't you-"
"I wasn't confessing my feelings to Nancy in that forest. I was confessing, yes, but just so that I could get the closure and be able to move on into another dream in the future... with you"
He stayed quiet, letting me take in the new found information
"When you floated and your bones began to break. Everything stopped for me. You were all that mattered and we made sure to burn that fucker to the gr-"
"I love you" I say before he rambles anymore. I already knew what to say, but seeing him get nervous and give explanation was incredibly amusing to me
"So are we like... a thing now?"
I mocked a fake gasp "Sorry, Harrington, but you gotta court my fine ass first before you even consider thinking that I'd say yes" I teased as he threw his head back and took my hand to gently kiss my knuckles
"For you? I'd do anything"
(I'm tagging the people who asked for a part 2 in the comments :3)Tags: @drxwstxrkxy @hey-airam @fairyhope028 @ashkuuuu @detailedstickfigures @idduno @anuncalledbridge
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icedteaandoldlace · 3 days
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For talk shop Tuesday: who’s your least favorite character to write and why?
Oh gosh. My gut reaction is to say Blaine Anderson from Glee, and the reason is very simple—I hate his guts. It's really difficult trying to write a character accurately when you don't like them and thus don't want to spend enough time thinking about them to get their voice and personality right, plus it can be stressful trying to get into the head of a character who does things you just cannot understand the reasoning behind. But at the same time, sometimes writing for him can be kind of fun? Like, usually when I write a fic that he's in, it's a Glee fix-it, so it'll have a satisfying ending even if the beginning and/or middle is stressful. But in the case of Preppy In Pink, the focus is on Flash characters, and Blaine's pretty much just a minor nuisance in it, so I'm able to have some fun making him annoying without him being outright evil (well, for the most part, anyway).
Another character who was really difficult and stressful to write for was Yesenia, my semi-OC for Cisco's mom. I ended up growing to really like her, but at the same time I just wanna whack her with a shovel the whole time because My God, woman, why can't you just accept and love your son as he is instead of trying to make him into something he's not?! I love that fic so much and I love the point I made with it, but it's still infuriating that there are people out there like her who can't get it through their heads that they are the reason their children want to avoid them.
Also—and this goes with the thing about having difficulty writing characters I can't understand—any time at all that I find myself writing an authority figure who's unreasonable because they're power tripping, it drives me crazy. And the beating thing of it is, I'll constantly be thinking, "This is unrealistic. There's no reason for them to act like that. They're just being a jerk/making stupid rules because they can/acting on prejudice with no logical basis. There's no compelling motive, no one's gonna believe this person could actually exist." EXCEPT THEY DO, AND IT'S STUPID COMMON. So like, if I'm not frustrated because I think it's unrealistic, then I'm frustrated because it shouldn't be realistic and yet it is.
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utilitycaster · 6 months
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The chaotic player thread has been really interesting for me, because while I wouldn't call myself one I've been described as getting pretty chaotic in some campaigns I've been in. But my trick is that when I wanna do something wild, even if I know the dm very well, I absolutely shoot them a quick private message to ask first, and if it directly drags in another player, them as well. The rest of the table still gets the feeling of something random happening, but I 100% always do it with the plot and world in mind. I've made some moves that were pretty wild many times, but I only do that with dms I have an established relationship with AND have been checked in with. This obviously wasn't what you and the original anon were discussing, but I wanted to throw in my two cents as someone who's often been labeled as chaotic in case there are people reading who feel discouraged from being wacky! Dms often love big moves as long as they've been given tools and prior knowledge in my experience, and will often give you more opportunities to go hog wild or redirect your creativity if what your first thought is would impact the game negatively. Dms! Are! Your friend!
Hey anon,
So the original anon's definition is relevant here: "self-described 'chaotic' players (who seem to really only see their GMs as opponents to be bested and to ignore their story)" is the exact phrasing they used, and that's what I've been talking about specifically.
People getting called "chaotic" by others is a very different beast. I personally try to avoid it because it's used so much as to be meaningless. Sometimes it's a compliment, sometimes it's an insult, and often it's wrong. A lot of the time people just use it to mean something silly (eg: the Hilda Hilda scene with Emily Axford) or something cleverly unexpected (Jester and the cupcake) or something that's literally just "playing D&D correctly by interacting with your environment instead of trying to optimize everything" (Fjord touching the red button).
It depends on the exact situation, and also if your GM appreciates this then I don't want to fuck things up for them, and I do agree that if it involves other players you should make them aware - but I actually think you're being very cautious here! If you are genuinely taking the story and world and vibe into account, and you're just making a particularly bold and unconventional choice, unless it's likely to require drastically more prep on the GM's part, I think that's something a GM should be able to manage and roll with. And for what it's worth, they're a player too - an unexpected lateral thinking solution at the table in real time can be a pleasure for them the same way it is for everyone else.
The thing about good GMs is that they are your friend and your opponent. In most games, especially D&D, they want to get right up to the brink of beating you and they also really want you to pull out a win, too.
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ajokeformur-ray · 1 year
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tw; I'm mean about myself under the cut, academic & work stress, I've had enough of my own shit, these thoughts are with me all the damn time, every minute of every day. Self-shipping I suppose. I feel like a shitty essay which needs to be ripped up and started over because there's no helping it.💀
*Is literally doing a degree so I can help people in a professional sense as I was saved & heavily inspired by Arthur Fleck back in 2019 and I wanted to honour that and him in this decision, regularly leans on him for motivation and comfort, tries to be someone he would be proud of and someone he could love, is three years into a six year degree and feeling every inch of exhaustion possible*
"Step step step step, just like Arthur showed you"
"Kindness and compassion, just like Joker taught you"
"He never gave up so neither can you"
*Is working a very physically demanding job (an average shifft clocks me in at 25,000 steps and a busy shift is closer to 30,000), does overtime regularly, is being eaten alive by her job and is now somehow YET A-FUCKING-GAIN almost three weeks behind on university work, is accidentally undereating and accidentally running on four or less hours of sleep every night in an attempt to get everything done that needs to be in any given day, and has so much to do that she's just sat there staring into space writing this post instead of actually getting her fucking work done because there's so much to do she's overwhelmed and scared... is self-aware of this vicious cycle and knows how to change it and keeps trying but it isn't working and yeah Rome wasn't built in a day but for fuck's sake, Erika, get your shit together before you fuck all this up so bad there's no point even trying at all anymore... she wants this and is trying her best but is somehow not measuring up and constantly beats herself up over it and needs Joker to sit her down and scoop out her brain, wash it in creek water and then put it back, let it roll around a little in there before it settles in her skull and then maybe she'll be better at all this...*
Yeah, you're really making Arthur/Joker proud right now, huh?🙄🙃
(You're basically shitting all over him because you started this for him but this is your effort level? Being behind all the time and tired mentally and physically and never being able to catch a break because if you're not working, you're studying? And somehow it's not enough and you keep repeating the same shitty cycles even though you're trying to fix them? And none of it is working? But you're still doing it anyway because the only way through is through? And you genuinely love both your degree and your job but for fuck's sake, you need a break because you're really tired and you don't feel like you should be and you feel like you're treading water and going nowhere and you'll never achieve your goal of being able to help people on a professional level which is higher than all the ways in which you already help people and you don't wanna give up your degree OR your job but baby, something's gotta give at some point and it keeps being you and maybe it shouldn't be anymore and you just gotta rework some things so you can pull this outta your ass because you do love it and you're just tired and frustrated right now and that's okay. And eyes on Joker, Erika, he knows the way, he got you this far, keep him close even though you feel so distant from him that you just wanna go back to 2019 so you can meet him for the first time all over again and fall in love with him all over again and you just need to remember your reasons why so you can move forward and keep doing your bestest for Arthur...
Even though you feel like he would see all this and be appalled and very much not be proud or understand why you're doing this. This is the opposite of an honour and a horrible way of showing your love for him...😬
Anyway. I'm gonna go study now.💀
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muirmarie · 4 months
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i've been so good at sitting my butt down and writing a minimum of 500 words a day (I don't plan to do this forever, and I do allow myself some skip days (like yesterday!), but I know myself, and the goal is to build momentum and habits so I do plan 500/day for the foreseeable future - and it's working! so far! I mean it's been like a month! and i've been consistent!), but -
but the story i started to sketch out at the same time as the time loop one (9. mccoy makes breakfast) is I think veering a little too close thematically to my last few, (even tho it's jim pov and mostly just silly shenanigans, but still) and i wanna change it up, so i'm thinking either:
2. strip poker
[Cons: I have to look up poker rules / Pros: VERY different vibe lmao / Cons: did I mention I need to do research. i wanted a brain empty story next / Pros: I do extremely want to write rampant cheating / Cons: I'm gonna have to learn how one even cheats in poker ugh / Pros: I am preemptively giving myself permission to beat any angst out of this fic with a baseball bat if I have to]
10. late night walk
[Cons: i have no plot / Pros: where we're going we don't NEED plot / Cons: i do want to write something heavier on the Kirk/Spock of it all bc I haven't really gone deep on that at all, and I don't know if this is the right one to do it / Pros: this fic will just involve me blasting music in my headphones and vibing, and jesus christ NO MORE MATH, i know the time loop math/science probably wasn't anything to write home about but it was HARD for me to keep it straight in my head lmaoooo, and I know the poker one will need more math brain stuff bc. poker. math. you get me.]
22. hayride
[Cons: I know in my heart this is going to be one of those where the frame is going to fight me. I'm gonna want to write all the fun little scenes, and then have to grit my teeth and stitch it all together / Pros: this is literally just fluff. / Cons: it really would be nice to be able to pick one I can write straight through and I KNOW the frame is gonna fight me. i KNOW it. / Pros: i can make that Vulcan eat some cotton candy. I can make Jim wear a pair of jeans that hug his butt SO well. I can graciously allow McCoy to kiss a horse's cheek. slightly drugged on hay fever meds jim kirk being so soft and sweet and handsy with the other two. basically all the reasons the frame is gonna fight me lmaoooooo]
or lastly just say screw it and keep writing the mccoy makes breakfast/bones can never tell jim no fic, which again, does have the major plus of being a jim pov (i'm really enjoying that!) and also so many silly shenanigans! but also. also. leonard horatio mccoy why do you always want to fight being loved. i am in your house. i am begging you to let me write a fun silly story. i am begging you to stop doing this to me.
someone just tell me which one to work on so i can get my minimum 500 words today when i'm free later on without facing The Struggle of Choice =/
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