i utilize filtering all the time it's my favorite function im kissing it for being a working feature, but god i wish you didn't have to scroll thru all your filtered tags to add to your filtered content list

i have been fantasizing about a mf grilled cheese sandwich for days

Rest of October- what will happen?

Hey, havent done a pick a card in a while, today's post is about the remaining days of October, the general energy coming towards you and what you can expect in money, relationships, etc. relationships can pertain to any relationship, romantic or friendships or familial it doesnt matter. Close your eyes and let your intuition guide you to your sweater.

PILE ONE

general- justice reversed, 5 of cups reversed

I feel like the next 15 or so days is about recovering from something unfair, you may have delt with dishonesty or inconsistent or otherwise shitty behavior from someone recently and the next few days are about getting over it essentially. This doesnt mean that your feelings arent valid however, it just means you're realizing that it's not worth it to remain upset over something you can't control, you're in the phase of learning from the situaiton instead of being bitter about it.

relationships- queen of pentacles reversed, 3 of wands reversed

this message can pertain to any relationship in your life that resonates with this, but i feel like this is speaking to a situation where setbacks and delays are occurring due to smothering, over protectiveness and control issues. the next 15 days needs to focus on giving people space (if you're the one being like this) or setting boundaries with the person in your life who is trying to restrict you. I think this over protective, contorlling comes from a place of love and nurturing, but ultimately leads to blockages in the relationship. the 3 of wands is a card about personal development and growth, and this person who is trying to ''protect' you is hindering your growth by being nurturing to an excessive point. this could be you to someone else, this could be a parent, it could be your partner, your boss, it could be anyone. this excessive protectiveness and controlling nature is hindering personal development.

career/money- 4 of cups, page of wands reversed

you're feeling bored and uninspired with your job, things in this sector of your life feel dull and stagant and I think you're craving somehting new and exciting. Consider finding a new position at your job or a new job entirely if possible. the page of wands is a person who needs room to grow and things to explore in order to feel stimulated- but im seeing you feel stagnant because that space to grow isnt there. doing the same shit everyday and not being able to learn new skills and try new roles is killing your spirit. learning a new skill or trade may be a good option for you as well.

PILE TWO

general- the sun, ace of wands

the next 15 days is about happiness and motivation. I think this is pointing to feeling in a good mood, feeling inspired and energetic about your actions, I think you could be trying something new or learning something new and it has you feeling optimistic about the possiblities this new skill, knowledge etc can give you.

relationships- judgement, high priestess reversed

you're gonna have to make an assessment or judgement call when it comes to your connection with someone and this will require you to actually listen to your inner voice. Relying on the wisdom and opinions of other people may be tempting but your intuition already has all the answers there for you, you just have to access them through trusting yourself. You can trust your own evaluations and decisions when it comes to your relationships, you know more than you think.

career/money- page of pentacles reversed, 4 of pentacles reversed

you're being impractical and reckless with your money/resources and i think it stems partially from impatience. saving money may be annoying but the longterm rewards of what you can afford will be well worth it. in the next 15 days, resist the urge to make impulse purchases just because you feel like it. be patient and keep your short term goals in mind when its come to how you spend your money, does it align with your budget or do you even have a budget?

PILE THREE

general- 7 of swords reversed, the chariot reversed

I think the rest of October is about you needing to be honest about the direction of your life and how you've contributed to where you are right now. I think you've been deceiving yourself and making yourself feel powerless, unmotivated and stagnant. lies have kept you from seeing your own potential and ability to take back control over your life, the chariot reversed is the energy of being in the backseat of the car, being controlled by wherever the car takes you. but the truth is you're the one in control. Breaking past self deception will help you realize how much willpower and direction you actually have.

relationships- the fool reversed and the ace of pentacles

I think when it comes to romance you wont be feeling particularly spontaneous in the next 2 weeks or so, and more focused on the matieral, finance or practical sector of your life. if not that, you're just not in the mood for games, you want someone who is gonna bring action to their words and not unpredictability. your patience seems low for people in your life who arent dependable or reliable.

money/career- strength reversed, queen of wands

when it comes to career, I think you're in this energy of trying to increase your self confidence and esteem in order to feel more comfortable in the spotlight, more comfortable in leveling up your responsibilities and more deserving of opportunities outisde of your comfort zone.

im so excited for invincible s2b now that it has an official release date… and that release date is march 14th

Let me talk about why that has me worried for the future of the show

‼️also no hate to any other shows mentioned‼️

I want to start with these two images :

invincible compared to the boys and now hazbin hotel has BARELY gotten any offical advertising on this level. The boys also got ads in times square for the promotion of s3 and the spin-off gen v im pretty sure but I could be wrong.

Don’t get me wrong I am rly happy to see an animated show get promotion at that level and I think more streaming services should do the same but why is it that invincible, a show on its SECOND SEASON gets nothing? The official invincible accounts have to do most of the heavy lifting themselves with generating hype on their twt,insta and tiktok. People complain that the accounts often make “an announcement for the announcement” but they have too! They literally have no other option! It sucks to see invincible show signs of a show thats clearly being tampered with by executive fuckery that has led so many other animated shows to an early grave.

Also I NEED people to realize that invincible’s release schedule NOT THE FAULT OF THE CREW

I see people regularly being rude and borderline aggressive to crew members online (which ive seen happen in other fandoms too) but the amount of people that were bitching and whining about the hiatus saying things like “this is why we shouldn’t let animators have good working conditions” and people agreeing with those takes were INSANE. The crew have no control over when the show drops or not, that is a decision left up to executives.

Now why could this delay be happening ?

a little bit ago amazon made this announcement to its customers:

this very well lines up with what many people began to speculate online as to why invincible had such a weird release schedule for season 2. They release the first half and get people hooked on the first 4 episodes ending on a massive cliffhanger and then release the second half after ads are introduced in hopes of making more money bc ppl don’t want ads in the middle of their shows.

Even then many people (myself included) think that it would’ve ultimately been better for the sake of the shows own hype to just wait to release them in March back to back all 8 episodes. Because the midseason break just kneecapped the hype the show had built up so hard and now many people are reasonably frustrated.

Because there was no clarity on when the show would be back. Most people assumed it would be a month long break for the holidays which shows have done for a long time. And then fake leaks came out that the show would come back in early January, and then the invincible accounts were virtually silent, and people were saying the break was intentional for fans to (recover) for ep 4. It was all over the place

What should fans do going forward?

Best thing you can do is stream the show legally if you can! TALK about invincible, don’t let the hype die out. Get this shit on trending ! Boost any official posts online showing that there is still a demand for this show! If you can, buy merch! Read the comics legally ! LET AMAZON KNOW WE STILL CARE ABOUT THIS SHOW!

again no hate to the other shows here bc ive watched all of them! I just want invincible to get some of that love too because this show is so amazing and you can tell how much love the crew has put into it <3

LBFAD Closing Artwork – Hidden Meanings, Part 1

Like the opening art, the closing artworks in LBFAD (Love Between Fairy and Devil) hold many significant hidden meanings! The images tell a story and are grouped into themes central to the show. Here are my interpretations of these extremely clever works of art! (Images 1-4 discussed here).

Image 1: Orchid’s Sacrifice (image above)

The Heart-hiding hairpin and flower petals slowly fall to the ground next to the Zhengying sword. These are all that remain of Xiao Lanhua (XLH) after her sacrifice on the Xuanxu realm battlefield in ep. 31. Her sacrifice is true to the theme of selfless love, a central theme of LBFAD. Prior to this, DongFang QingCang (DFQC) had (also selflessly) tried his best to break her love for him, to save her life. But nothing could ever break XLH’s love for DFQC, and her only option to save his life was to sacrifice her own life with the Zhengying sword.

But her sacrifice didn’t end there. Because she wished to bring back the 100,000 soldiers of the Moon Tribe and resurrect the fallen on the battlefield, she sacrificed not only her life but also her spirit, meaning she could never reincarnate again - the ultimate sacrifice! (In parallel, DFQC also sacrifices his life and spirit in ep. 36 for her and the three realms). As she floats in the sky, her spirit disperses and revives everyone. It’s lucky that DFQC had a fragment of her spirit within him that could be extracted - this is the only reason he was able to resurrect her.

Side notes: a) This is a parallel to opening image 1, which also portrayed love as a central theme in LBFAD. b) Flower petals are also seen when XLH fades away from DFQC’s dream sequence in ep. 32, and when she returns in ep. 33. c) Although XLH was wearing the Bone Orchid during her sacrifice, it does not appear in this image - this is because DFQC claims it. He is seen holding it in his hand as he falls comatose into his dream world after her sacrifice. On being transported back to Silent Moon Palace he still holds it in his hands (seen in ep. 32). However, the Heart-hiding hairpin and broken Zhengying sword may have been left behind in Xuanxu realm. DFQC continues to keep the Bone Orchid on his person until the very end of his life, and his own sacrifice (at which point it floats back to XLH in its original crescent moon form).

Image 2: Entanglement

Images 2-4 as a group represent the development of the relationship between DFQC and XLH. Image 2 shows the pivotal moment of their first kiss while lightning strikes. At this time, many important things happen that set the stage, the foundation, for their love to blossom (as well as for other important events!)

a) XLH restores DFQC’s body and spirit (which had been separated), freeing him from his imprisonment. Their spirits entangle with each other. In mending his spirit, she gives him a part of her own spirit, which he later uses to resurrect her. Besides his freedom being necessary to their love story, she needs his help to achieve peace between Shuiyuntian and Cangyan Sea. DFQC’s position as Moon Supreme and his actions of sending aid to Shuiyuntian, sacrificing himself to defeat Taisui and earning the Glazed Fire lost since ancient times are vital to realising this difficult goal.

b) XLH resurrects DFQC’s tree of emotions, allowing him to feel love and compassion. Allowing him to love her, empathise with both his people and his enemies, and earn the long-lost Glazed Fire of compassion.

c) XLH casts the one-heart curse on DFQC. Not only does this protect her from his initial attempt to kill her, it ensures he must constantly stay by her side, protect her and keep her happy :D His unwavering protection and attempts to restore her vitality make her fall for him. Meanwhile, being forced to accompany her and understand her enables him to fall for her. He first experiences emotions mainly through her, and this stimulates the growth of his tree of emotions. Their physical connection means he immediately knows when she is in danger and can rush to her aid. Being forced to obey her on rare occasions means he has to treat her with more respect and consideration than he might otherwise.

d) Their spiritual entanglement means that electric kisses cause body swapping! :D This is important in eps. 11-12 as while they are body-swapped, XLH comes to understand DFQC’s responsibilities and DFQC is forced to spend three whole days training her on being DFQC rather than ignoring her (as he had been doing).

Image 3: Quality time together

Building on image 2 as the foundation of their relationship, image 3 shows Arbiter Hall as the central stage for the development of their love through quality time spent together! How important is Arbiter Hall to our OTP? For XLH, it has been the only home she knows (in this life) and is filled with memories of her beloved master Siming. Siming would spend all day with her and was the dearest and most important person to her. Now DFQC has arrived and reminds her of Siming in many ways, as he takes care of her, spends time with her, listens to her attentively, blows on her morning dew to cool it down and makes flower soup for her. DFQC now becomes the dearest and most important person to her! :D

For DFQC, his time with XLH at Arbiter Hall in Shuiyuntian has such a profound impact on him, that he is able to flawlessly recreate every aspect of it in Cangyan Sea for her!! All the structures and every brick and tile are exactly the same as Arbiter Hall in Shuiyuntian, he tells her proudly. XLH can’t believe that it is a replica and not the original! “That’s impossible! This place looks exactly like Shuiyuntian” she exclaims. The days they spent together at Arbiter Hall in Shuiyuntian were the happiest and most precious of DFQC’s life. When he loses XLH, he can’t bear to live and burns his spirit to return there in his dream, this time as her husband :(

In eps. 10-19, XLH and DFQC continue to spend quality time together in the replica Arbiter Hall, where they share flower cakes and tea, and fall more deeply in love :) In fact, the set of Arbiter Hall is used in six different situations. Apart from the two in Shuiyuntian and Cangyan Sea, there is one in the Ruins of Myriad Heavens which Siming created. There are two illusory Arbiter Halls, one in DFQC’s dream and one in the illusion Ronghao created in ep. 15. Finally, DFQC moves one of the Arbiter Halls to Xishan in ep. 33 for XLH. It’s not specified which one but Arbiter Hall in Cangyan Sea is probably the easiest to move for political reasons. No wonder Arbiter Hall is the first location we see in the closing artwork! In terms of significance no other location can beat it :)

Image 4: Commitment

The fruition of their relationship is shown in Image 4. Here DFQC and XLH commit themselves to each other and pledge their love at the Mountain and Moon Festival of Cangyan Sea! This celebration of a rare lunar event occurs only once every thousand years. The full moon is amplified through the lens of the crescent moon-shaped mountain in the distance (the location of Silent Moon palace) and appears as a giant supermoon in the sky!

A new tradition had sprung up during the 30,000 years of DFQC’s absence. Shangque fills them in on the details: “It is said that if couples who are in love carve each other’s name on the Love Lock and hang them on the Bridge of Love on the night of the Mountain and Moon Festival when the mountain and moon meet, then they will be together forever”. Although this is a made-up custom, DFQC and XLH are both charmed by the story and the opportunity to pledge their commitment to each other :D And they both love the idea of spending the rest of eternity together!

As Siming says in ep. 31, “Everything in this world is fated. Ony love is not fated”. Love is a choice, and free choice is an important theme in LBFAD. Despite the whole world being against their union and XLH’s destiny to marry Changheng (twice!), XLH and DFQC choose to love each other and commit to being together.

Both accept steep costs in making this choice. For DFQC, he gives up Lady Chidi’s spirit in the mortal realm and the chance to save his 100,000 soldiers (so he believes) to save XLH. To atone to his people for this and “deserve” to meet XLH at the Moon and Mountain festival, he sentences himself to the cruellest punishment in his kingdom. The nine Bone-devouring spikes he receives cause him unimaginable pain from midnight to dawn every night. For XLH, to be accepted by the Moon Tribe and earn the right to be his wife, she insists on being tortured inside the horrific Fuju cave for three days! (DFQC also chooses to suffer this through the one-heart curse on top of the Bone-devouring spikes D: ) She also gives up Shuiyuntian in favour of Cangyan Sea, accepting that the man she loves cannot give up his responsibility to his people.

To the right of the image are the Love Locks. XLH and DFQC have different criteria in choosing locks (beautiful vs. strong and durable) and independently choose the same lock! Using the Love Locks to pledge their love was clearly meant to be :D As symbolised by these locks, their love is beautiful, strong and durable.

In the artwork they stand on the Bridge of Love at the moment the full moon hits the crescent on the mountain, and pledge their love to each other (as DFQC later describes in ep. 35). DFQC collapses from the torture of the Bone-devouring spikes, the price of his commitment to her, before they can hang the locks. And so the hanging of the Love Locks is delayed, just like their life together is delayed by XLH’s, then DFQC’s sacrifices.

But they do get hung! When DFQC, in a breathtaking scene, hangs both of their locks on the Bridge of Love in ep. 35, XLH is still standing on the bridge. They are both there together, their hearts full of love for each other, and the significance of the locks is realised. They do get the chance to spend the rest of eternity together! :D

Here is a link to my article: LBFAD Opening Artwork – Hidden Meanings

All of my LBFAD articles can be viewed with the tag #lbfad reflections (hyperlinked) and the table of contents to these is here.

How 2 not st@rve yourself

i know this is said a lot but you either want peace, happiness, and/or control 'n you think being skinny will provide you with these things. and u want it ASAP wanting to be skinny isnt a crime, but doing it this way takes so much more from you, to where you have less control then you ever had. so heres some tips - build a daily routine first, if u slip up ITS OKAY!!!! days r meant to be different, tmr is always a new day. good days are subjective. plus, building a routine is trial and error, you're gunna change your mind about things but trust me things will stick. - dance once a day, lil strange but if you still want that feeling of burning calories you can at least have fun with it. plus a mood booster - stop counting calories, make better choices. this is subjective person to person but personally, not counting calories and instead doing food swaps for healthier options helps a lot. example: i wanna eat oatmeal with MILK!! but i will use oat milk or less fat milk :3 - eat what you crave, this ones scary. i know its hard to control yourself and going overboard with it is so so easy, but it will help in the long run. you binge because you feel this urgency that you wont be able to eat anything later, so you eat it all now. it doesnt have to be this way. say that pack of chips eat some at a non-meal time or with a meal. find a way to show your body that it doesnt need it in the middle of the night when you cant sleep. that it can have it whenever it wants. and slowly you will find yourself going "eh i dont want any right now." - yeah you can eat a donut, but with a banana. try to eat unhealthy food with a healthier side. - i know u hear this a lot so im just gunna list them off, cold morning showers: prepares you for the day + tightens pores. yoga: relaxing duh. morning exercise: even if jus for like 10-20 minutes, you're day will feel much more productive. skincare: ego boost and good for your routine. basically everything those HEALTHY wonyoungism posts are telling you. - writing, just write any old thing, whether its affirmations, your feelings at the moment, something that happened years ago, or even a drawing. theres jus something about putting pen to paper that's relaxing. obviously this isn't an ultimate guide, but recovery isnt just about eating more or less... its about finding your peace. you dont have to force yourself to love your body, just treat it a little better. you can still lose weight, but eat the way you want to for the rest of your life. small improvements go a long way. even just starting one little thing everyday, you're still better off than you were a week ago. protect your peace. protect yourself, from yourself. we might slip up tmr, maybe for a week, maybe for a year, but tmr can always be a better day.

it's amusing to me how ppl will try to criticise alicent's "where is duty, where is scarifice" by saying it's just her demanding why rhaenyra doesn't "submit to men", "scarifice her happiness", "give up her bodily autonomy" blah blah blah.

there is such a smugness and it's made worse by their security in them thinking this defense of rhaenyra is flawless."

submit to men". im not even going to deign to respond by pointing out all the ways which shows this simply isn't true or at least challengeable for alicent, but in the context of rhaenyra....its questionable because who made rhaenyra his heir in the first place? quickly. her father. rhaenyra "submits" to viserys' will by accepting his decision to name her princess of dragonstone. obviously she's only 14 then but it's a decision she continues to, using their language, "submit" to well into her adult life. of course, you could say that rhaenyra wants the throne anyway and that's fair but rhaenyra's own wants/needs are still ultimately irrelevant. they just happen to align with viserys' own wishes that stem from his powerful guilt over aemma and his conviction that he misread his "prophecy" wrong. it's because of these factors that one can find it really questionable that viserys would have listened to rhaenyra if she asked him to change the succession. what's more important, his daughter's happiness, or his need to redeem himself through her? im comfortable saying this because viserys at his core seems allergic doing right by his kids.another way it's questionable because again who is the final "authority" on rhaenyra's sons? quickly. her dad. rhaenyra's word by itself isn't good enough, she still has to submit to viserys' will through getting his protection.

"scarifice her happiness". mind you rhaenyra calls her own life a "droll tragedy". how great could that "happiness" (harwin) have been then? it's also very clear that harwin was never going to be enough for rhaenyra.

"bodily autonomy" I mean, I wish they kept this energy for alicent. but they don't. alicent's line to viserys "to have one child like that is a mistake" is also really interesting to me concerning this whole subject because it suggests that alicent would have been sympathetic to rhaenyra if she had been honest from the very start with jace's birth. but she doesn't and she ends up lying again and again. obviously rhaenyra lying about such a matter is going to be a huge trigger for someone like alicent whose father was removed from his position partly because of rhaenyra lying or not being wholly truthful.

sorry for the long post!

Hi there! I think there's a lot of naff defence of Rhaenyra and hypocrisy towards Alicent in TB's discourse, but, by now, there are a wealth of critical posts available that highlight these discrepancies and, if they don't pose any interest to them, we kind of, at some point, have to let bygones and be bygones and leave them to their little bubble. They can educate themselves from many sources now; it's not like when the show first aired and the meta was dominated by TB content. But if they don't want to engage in good faith arguing, then there's not much point in getting worked up about it. IMO a lot of these posters skew on the younger side, have a rather primitive view of feminism and rely heavily on anachronism, so girlboss pew pew is appealing to them. Maybe they'll grow out of it, maybe not, but we can't be educators for everybody.

That being said, onto the points you highlighted. I think I agree the most with "sacrifice her happiness", because Rhaenyra had all the options in the world for a husband, but she didn't take any of it seriously and exhausted everyone's goodwill after a ton of resources were wasted on her marriage audition tour for nothing,* until Viserys got tired of her tomfoolery and forced her to marry a closeted gay man. This is where a point about bodily autonomy can also be made, because Rhaenyra could have very well married Harwin (who was in her social sphere), had she taken any of this seriously.

*think of the cost of transporting her and hosting so many suitors under one roof - some of the bill being footed by the lords who were hosting her. Perhaps Lord Baratheon had better use of his time and money than organizing Rhaenyra's engagement contest. And you can bet she didn't just leech off of him, she must have visited other castles as well, since she is said to have been gone for several weeks (? can't remember). And all for what? It's very disrespectful.

I do have some sympathy for her because it's a lot to ask a 15(?)-year-old to start seriously considering marriage proposals, when that's probably the last thing she is interested in. And it is normal for teenagers to be immature. But there's got to be some give-and-take here. Rhaenyra can't both be the nominal heir and future queen, entrusted with more power than anyone else in the kingdom, and not heed any of her responsibilities. It is a position that comes with sacrifices and responsibilities; it's part of the job description. Making a politically-advantageous marriage is one of those compromises. Acknowledging that is not anti-feminist lol. God forbid kings and queens can't just do whatever the hell they want all the time.

And Rhaenyra is presented with choices: at no point does she refuse Viserys' offer to name her heir. He straight-up tells her at one point: choose a husband or I will name Aegon instead. She could have very well said "You know what, I didn't really think about what this would entail when you nominated me in the first place and now I kind of realise this is not for me. I don't really want to get married and I'm not particularly inclined towards politics either, so can we find some kind of alternative arrangement here?" Does she? No!

She doesn't want to run away with Criston and eat oranges either. Fair enough, but then you kind of have to move your butt and work towards securing your position as heir to the throne. Does she do that instead? No, lol. She's the definition of eating one's cake and having it too. In ep. 7 she bemoans to Viserys "I thought I wanted it" (i.e. the throne). So she does want it!

As far as her just going along with whatever Viserys wants, I am going to be generous again and say that I get she doesn't really want to disappoint her father and appear diminished in front of him, cool, but at some point you have to start taking responsibility for yourself and not just explain everything away resorting to your shitty childhood and relationship with your parents. And Rhaenyra never does. Especially when the stakes are this high. We're talking about the possibility of civil war here. It's very laissez-faire to the point of irresponsibility to just "go along" with this, in spite of succession laws, when you know people are going to be opposing your shaky claim, if you don't really want the throne deep down and are just half-arsing it.

And Rhaenyra can't blame it all on the follies of youth either. Because there is a time when she is a mature woman with three illegitimate children under her belt, not really putting in the work to diplomatically advance herself, being rude to people at court and just interested in her love affair and doing whatever she wants. But, by that time, Alicent had already produced 4 children, so Rhaenyra could have just noped out of this situation, if she considered it so shitty, and conceded to Aegon. Viserys by then was old and weak, he wouldn't have really put much of a fight if that's what she truly wanted. She could have lived her life as a very rich, privileged lady, but instead she chose to escalate and marry Daemon. And, no, the greens would not have killed Rhaenyra and her bastard children, not because of the kindness of their hearts, but because Rhaenyra's claim is comically weak and would not be taken seriously by any medieval historian, let alone by a person actually living in those times.

So this is where I wrap it up with the "submitting to men" argument. I don't think it's necessarily accurate to categorise Rhaenyra accepting Viserys' decision to name her heir as going against her will, because she is known to want the throne. What I think is more relevant here is to consider that Alicent is in a much more powerless position than Rhaenyra and doesn't really have much of a choice when it comes to defying men. Alicent is the daughter of a second son and she doesn't have a dragon soul-bonded to her who can roast people who annoy her. I think it quite trite to be "angry" with her (lol she's not real) that she has the (normal) coping mechanisms that she has and is not magically transformed into a rebel Lagertha figure who does whatever she wants and takes no shit from anyone.

However, I don't see the solution as Rhaenyra "submitting to men" either. I think that's a misrepresentation of the green stance (although I'm sure there certainly are green-aligned posters that skew more towards the Kinder-Kuche-Kirchen disposition). On my part, I don't see Rhaenyra respecting the basic law of the land as her submitting to men. Kings have to follow succession laws to acquire the throne, too, and then produce legitimate children to succeed them. Of course the law is meant to favour men, but not once does Rhaenyra do anything to further the cause of women in Westeros, only to further herself. She wants to be Queen, but it has to be served on a platter to her and she is not interested in putting any work in. She's not interested in the plight of bastards in Westeros, as long as her own bastards get comfy seats. At one point you have at least concede that she's mainly on a one-woman mission for her selfishness. And anyone is welcome to like her exactly as she is! She doesn't have to be morally pure to have fans.

But there comes a time when, after appraising the inequalities of the world, you also have to adjust your own behaviour so that you won't end up causing more harm in your quest to advance your own interests. You have to find a balance between your desire for absolute freedom and reforms that are achievable, because some progress is always better than no progress.

Some of this stuff is really complicated, like how can you integrate bastards in the inheritance process when most of the wealth is acquired via land and you live in a society in which people of means turn marriages into economic alliances, with vested interests in passing down that wealth to children related to both parents? The short answer is that you have to diversify the sources of wealth, but, for that, you need technological advancement, the rise of the middle class and, ultimately, to dismantle feudalism. Could Rhaenyra have accomplished this during her reign? No. Could anyone? Absolutely not. These are historical developments that happen gradually, over a great span of time, so the best any decision-maker could do is introduce incremental reforms that can help speed up this process, increase literacy rates* (you cannot become free if you cannot read) and, yes, tumblr is going to hate this, but engage in harm reduction - basically don't become part of the problem or an active vector of destabilisation.

That is wisdom that Rhaenyra never comes to possess. And, to cut her some slack again, this is truly visionary stuff, like very few people would be able to be so politically avant-garde. But, at the very least, Rhaenyra could have engaged in harm-reduction. And it's pretty insincere or misguided of TB to reduce this resolution to just "submitting to men".

*But can you even? You'd need to invent the printing press for this. See my mentioning the need to technological advancement.

read: playlists are super down below so keep scrolling!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always.

Hello Hello! Welcome to my first ever post on tumblr that just had to be about my ultimate top tier favorite visual novel of all time..Our Life: Beginnings & Always or OL:BA for short.

This game has such a special place in my heart that im afraid I’ll forever be attached to it because at this point it’s not even a phase anymore lol. I still remember that heated summer day of scrolling down on my steam shop out of boredom and i kept getting recommended OL:BA but back then i really couldn’t care less and would not even spare a glance on it until i got so fed up of it popping up in my recommended for the next few days that i decided to finally check it out.

Reading what it was about made me curious but what really got me downloading it was because of the customization of our character/characters.

And finally into the game i was! I remember when the story started, i was very surprised already by the environment, narrative and world building of the game. It truly felt like i was part of it and i didn’t get bored at all. In fact right from the start i was hooked already!

I loved ALL of the characters that was introduced, i love the fact that it was SO multiple choice that it felt like you were really integrating yourself/oc onto the game and that you’re not just forced to say the same thing as a different choice or feel as though your options are limited. Its definitely a game that you’re supposed to replay over and over because its just that fun!!

And as someone who has never had a great childhood and adolescence, absentee parent, chaotic household, unsupportive friends, want to be understood (you know…this and that) i was so happy that this game was doing that and it genuinely gave me hope to live despite going through the darkest of times in my life :)

This game has changed me into a better person and made me want to be the best version of myself that i want to be in the future! I will infinitely recommend this to anyone who wants to have a feel good game/read (+1 it will make you cry!!)

Anyway enough yapping 💀 Time to get to the point.

Here are some playlists i made dedicated to the lovable characters of OL:BA that i personally listened to during my walkthrough and may relate to their route/lore ;)

read: playlists are super down below so keep scrolling!!

1# COVE HOLDEN

the og love interest!

summer with cove holden.

this playlist is the epitome vibes of the game (growing up with them and having fun, making memories.)

from beginnings to always with cove holden.

spoiler alert!! MARRIAGE DLC WOOOO!! really love this one cuz its all full of cute romance and wedding songs. i also put some songs that i think mc and cove would have when they get kids :3

#2 DEREK SUAREZ

MY PERSONAL FAVORITE!!

DEREK IS JUST SOOOO AAHHHH He’s my ideal man and i KIN him so bad you dont even know!!!

derek suarez crushing on you.

THIS PLAYLIST. IM TELLING YOU. one of the FAVES i made!! the pining, secret crush on mc for a loong time, the angst GOSH. so cute. every song in this plays a part on each moment with him i swear

#3 BAXTER WARD

ANGST MAN.

5 years after baxter ward.

one thing i noticed about our life is it lacks certain angst aspects when the baxter dlc didn’t exist YET back then. like i LOVED the fight between mc and cove in mcs room and i wanted it to escalate more ngl just cuz i LIVE for angst! but if you want to get real hurt you should choose baxter. this playlist focuses more on the last step of his dlc and its full of taylor swift songs.

baxter ward.

honestly this playlist is catered more to his vibes, his character (i listen to this playlist and i imagine edits of him lol) but i guess some songs are related to his story/lore? i made this waaay before 5 years after baxter ward and when the baxter dlc didn’t exist yet and we all just knew him to be as the new neighbor in sunset bird but people like it i guess so here it is xD

anyway thats all for OL:BA series! GB Patch is cooking up Our Life Now & Forever and it’s not released yet! just on demo on steam and itch! i already have a playlist for it but so far i have only made Qiu Lin (one of the leads of the game) i also have a privated filo inspired playlist for baxter if you want to listen to it let me know so i can put it up in public!

one year on t!

today is the anniversary of when i started T so i kinda wanted to make a post about what thats been like for me!

under a readmore so if you don't want to read a wall of text about testosterone you don't have to aslkdfjalksd

i'll reblog this post to add pictures of me from the past year

also if you have any questions related to my experience on T, my askbox is open and i do have anon on. :)

so i decided to do the gel instead of the shot because i had needle issues. i don't think i really do anymore though, because for the first year of care, they have you go every three months to get your hemoglobin and t levels checked and they draw blood for that. but i am still sticking with the gel because there's a lower risk of blood clots(APPARENTLY - this was told to me by a nurse PLEASE double check this with your doctor and confirm if thats a concern for you), and since i'm on a hormonal birth control, i want to do everything i can to keep that risk low!

I also started on a half dose bc I was a liiiiittle nervous about it, and went up to the full dose after 6 months.

so. pros and cons of t gel:

pros: no needles (also makes for easier disposal), lower risk of blood clots (again, feel free to fact check me on this)

cons: its daily, i've had issues with acne on my shoulders, can't wear tank tops

overall i think its the best option for me right now, though i might change my mind in the future!

changes so far:

voice - my voice has gotten deeper and is starting to crack. my voice no longer gives me away if someone genders me correctly before i start talking

hair - toe hair, leg hair, arm hair, ass hair. no facial hair. a liiiittle bit of tummy hair

libido/horniness - i had a pretty low sex drive before starting t bc my bc kinda killed any semblance of one i had before aldksfjalkds so im not 100% more horny all the time, it kind of comes in waves. but i am WAY more horny and interested in sex than i was before

bottom growth - this was the thing that concerned me THE MOST before i started. i did NOT want bottom growth, i liked my bits where they were. but honestly its not bad at all. i didn't even notice it was happening. i think its leveled off for now which is good, i'm chill with where its at, but if it does start growing again, we'll see how i feel about it aksdjfklads i've seen some people have INSANE bottom growth. also. if you're thinking about getting on T. bottom growth is one of the FIRST things to happen. so you gotta be chill with it aldskfjalksd

muscle mass/fat distribution - i really haven't noticed too much change in this department yet. i don't really have any fat on me (just a little on my hips and some on my thighs) so that could be why I haven't noticed much change? and i'm not currently going to the gym so idk in terms of muscle mass.

ultimately I'm very happy with where i am in my transition and i can't wait to see what the next year brings! (facial hair maybe? we can only hope)

here are some interesting graphs from my art fight hitlist because im feeling the tism and sometimes people give me funny responses

yes! 143 responses! keep it coming!

hi werewolves

did you know that for the past three teams im in they all won?

do you want to break that streak? good luck!!!

oh i can take any species and character type. im not sure why i put this to be honest but i guess i was just curious

but then...

I FORGOT TO ADD FERAL AS AN OPTION!!!!!!!!!! (warrior oc owners mad!!!!!!)

it seems everyone whos filling out my hitlist is fully aware im primarily a mass attacker

hihi 25 people as of writing! ready for another round?

good! don't have to worry about someone for now.

lol only one of you said no

i am glad a majority of you picked yes. making mass attacks is difficult but ultimately rewarding. you have to plan the layout, core theme, study each and every character you're including so you can have them do something and create scenes, hope that none of the characters get hidden while you're drawing (which is the most annoying part but understandable) and then submitting, and much more.

the three people who answered "ive known you for a long time" are all incorrect (youd have to know me longer than you know me from drawception, which is likeeeee late fnaf fandom i think???). a good chunk of you are from rain world!

rain world ppl youre in for a treat hehe. this is like the month of the year where i go tism on your characters, studying them under a microscope (and then probably most for them ill let them wear jackets or cool scarves)

you guys are right tho. neither of them would want to fight each other LOL

i saw that a good number of you pondered on attacking with my artihunter. do be informed that i also love rogueval art and was very crazy about it last year (and i think i still am)

i even made a comp of sorts, containing a chunk of cool rogueval art i got from af 2021 haha

ill be happy regardless on who you want to draw, whether its my fan ocs and aus, or my original original characters

either way

youre all getting souped

now finally.... the remarks....

some gold ones here here...

we have a lot of lovely nice comments. there are so many i could only grab a handful. thank you for your kind words. ill be sure to take easy this time this year.

and then we have the funny ones lol

sincerely, thank you everyone for supporting my endeavors this way. seeing everyone unite and be giving to one another- i enjoy it a lot. art fight is easy on the first half, but it does get stressful later on based on my experiences. dont be afraid to take breaks and dont feel bad if you only manage to put out a couple of attacks in the end. your participation and willingness means well.

keep this one thing in mind: you are never obligated to attack back, and you are never obligated to have your art be at your best.

the overall goal is to have fun.

PatPran & Sacrifice

This post is borne out of my genuine confusion about what people mean when they say pat's sacrifice (to stay in the closet to be with pran) is so great that pran will never be able to repay it.

First of all the universe of the show doesn't even have homophobia so the closet in this context is something that is uniquely made just for them and them alone and is not something that a person unfamiliar to their family dynamics will understand.

So then even if we do consider this closet that both pat and pran are in, why do we say that pat is in it for pran and has therefore made a huge sacrifice when pran literally has done the same thing for him?

Even if we assume that pat no longer gives ming the power to dictate things in his life and thus can see and be with pran as he pleases, and even if it's cos of dissaya's opposition to any association between their families that has forced them into this fake break up drama, it is still a decision that both of them took based on what they wanted alone.

Pat wants to be with Pran, whether he gets to be public with their love or not. Ideally would he prefer shouting it from the rooftops? Yes. But he also doesn't think its worth it if it means losing pran, like he showed in ep8 when he apologised to pran and told him he wouldn't post stuff on social media anymore if it bothered him so much. So here he was willing to give up doing that, to do what he actually wanted to do- be with pran.

Pran similarly offers to give up his need for privacy and living a lowkey non social media flaunt-ey life (free of threat of getting transferred and uprooted again) cos he wants to be with Pat more than he wants all of that. And in this context it is Pran who ultimately gives it up by allowing Pat to post pictures which he immediately does too.

And look at completely smitten babies smiling after having offered to give up something for the other, communicating through the shitstorm that is carrying all that intergenerational trauma.

That's love and that's love by choice.

Now flashforward to the fake break up and the continued pretense of being exes while being lovers. Pat has given up the chance to flaunt his relationship (like the heart on sleeve guy he is) to be with Pran. But the crucial thing here is he wants to be with Pran more than wanting to flaunt the relationship. He isn't giving up any alternate happy future with somebody else where he could be open about who he loves, because the one he loves is Pran and if he gives up Pran it is he himself who would be the most miserable. He loves Pran and he wants to spend his life with him and so there isn't any alternate in front of him for him to give up to be with him. This is his one and only option, the only choice he wants to make and he is evidently more than happy with that decision as we see at the end of episode 12 even if ofc he does miss pran terribly cos he's in singapore.

Coming to Pran, i dont understand if im reading it wrong, or if i haven't read the right posts yet but a lot of what i read feels like he doesn't sacrifice anything. {It is a whole different thing that Pat keeps offering help to Pran and Pran accepts it, but we also see Pran do a lot for Pat without being asked, and its just their way of expressing love being different. And them recognising that. This isnt about that}. What im so confused about is the way it feels like there is general acceptance of an imbalance (that Pat gave up so much more than what Pran did) in the ultimate sacrifice that is the fake breakup because if Pat sacrificed something then didn't Pran sacrifice something exactly similar too?

If Pat's sacrifice is giving up the chance to be in a relationship where he doesn't have to hide, then why are we ignoring Pran giving up the same? Or am i missing something? It's not like Pat is the only who can pursue alternate relationships. Pran could too. Dissaya would be very supportive of any other relationship he chooses to be in. And he could probably find somebody who is more similar to him who doesn't mind not flaunting the relationship and having it be lowkey and stuff. These are all possibilities that are open to him too, and yet, it doesn't even occur to Pran ( like it doesnt to Pat) because Pran loves Pat and wants to be with Pat and while ofc it is terrible to have to hide your love and a part of yourself, and while ofc it would be great if they didnt have to hide, if thats what takes to be with each other he would do that, they would do that .

Look at them yelling and teasing each other in full audio range of both their families, smiling from ear to ear having the time of their lives. The closet be damned.

That's 2 men who have gone through shit side by side and continue to choose to love each other daily. No matter how obvious (to eo) that choice might be. Let's never forget that it was intentional.

So to conclude, the fake breakup pretense was a mutual choice, based on their own self interests and any sacrifice was made for their own sake, and it was equally done from both ends. And if anybody disagrees with me, Pran has something to say to you.

"I say this as a Buddie shipper, but...

I see people say Buck won't stay with Tommy because he's his first, but by that logic, if Buck is Eddie's first??

Get what I'm saying?"

I do. However, imho, i think this is a little different. We are talking about a history here and no technically Eddie is not the first because they built their family but there is a key issue here. They DONT know it. Because neither has an awareness, they arent each other's first. Plus they built a strong relationship first. so it changes the dynamic.

I am not sure i will explain this well because its hard to simplify it because relationships and sexuality can be so complicated. and as a person that came out on the older side (mid to late 30s) one of the things that really stuck with me personally was, was it just that specific person I was attracted to? or was it more? (I'm pan so whooo child, the complexity of a roller coaster I went on) That is why I say exploration is important and not just sticking with the first person. Dating around a bit is what really made it clear. Not saying you cant do it without. (I would NOT say this for asexual or demisexual people mind you because their sexuality can be even more complex)

I see Tommy at this point as just a novality. He is the first dude who kissed him and goes out to dinner with. Does that mean that it couldn't be built on? by no means do I say that it couldn't. But there are some context cues here that also have to be included.

Tommy and Eddie mirroring each other. Bucks reaction to their friendship. Buck being upset about Christophers response. Buck having a basketball amazoned to the station instead of his loft. Buck and that hilarious look while he is lifting because he wanted Eddies attention. None of which really had much to do with Tommy except for the fact that Buck felt he was loosing something important TO Tommy.

Im doubtful Tommy is stupid here. He thinks Evan is cute and since they are both single he is willing to give it a go (ish) and see what happens. But he was shocked when Buck said he was trying to get his attention "MY attention?" If you listen to his tone of voice he doesn't quite believe it either.

But as someone that figure it out on the older side I have some issues with Tommys behavior that first date. He knows how difficult it can be. He even mentions TO Buck that he understands how hard it can be. He knew buck was nervous and that closet comment might have gone right over Eddie's and Marisol's head, but it is not nice and flippant comment or not, it could have outed him when he obviously was nerous. That is just mean. No Its cruel, and there isn't a pretty way to dress that up as teasing or anything. It was cruel. Then to follow it up and leave him standing on the sidewalk instead of talking to him? Yeah I get it. Tommy isn't his therapist but he tossed a snide comment to someone that is just now coming to an awareness that this is really an option for him and just leaves. They could have skipped the movie and gone back to bucks place to talk like mature adults. Leaves a really nasty taste in my mouth. (of course I also think part of the reason Tommy behaved that way has to do with Eddie)

But ultimately lets go back to that section about mirroring. Right now buck doesn't honestly know what he is feeling. he is still trying to figure it out. He just knows he is feeling something and is interested in exploring it.

I'm all for Buck being happy, but I don't want him to have a safe replacement for what he ultimately wants, and that is how they have set this up to look.

anyway, just my thoughts and why I think people say that about Tommy.

Oh thanks for this in depth ask anon. It helps me a lot and I bet it’ll help others as well.

Leverage Redemption Log: The Work Study Job

Ultraviolet catastrophe is indeed a great bandname.

Girl walks in, "how could you"... im putting money on plagiarism? (its the only crime i can think of a student could figure out. Sure he could be working on a quantumphysics/nucear radiation based weapon for the military, but a student wouldnt know) Pressed continue, im right. Stage fright/anxiety. As someone who has never been diagnosed with anxiety but has some pretty anxiety-esque tendencies... this will be a hard episode for me. --- Skipping over the "client meeting" bit, cause nothing much happened there (besides the obvious) Back at the theatre Breanna has the powerpoint. Turns out, not only is he a fraud he's also a climate-change denialist (not because he doesnt believe in it, lobbyists just pay him).

Turns out Harry used to go to this school (he also used to do "little yellow pills")

Harry and Breanna are ideologically seperated? (i dont think they are, Harry isnt saying "the system works", for godssake he's on team leverage AKA team fuck the system) but we're gonna be force-fed some BS here. But Breanna is being really harsh here. Like all Harry is saying is "I have connections here, and I have built up enough credit with 'donations' that these doors are open to us".

Harry: Look guys, The slow option exists and any crime involved in getting her her research back could permanently destroy the girls legitimately and ultimately cost her the very future we're trying to get her back. If we steal it from him and she gets her stuff back, he'll just claim she stole it from him. Sad Parker: But I love crime! Harry: Ok you can do a little crime, as a treat.

Sophie is calling the shot: We'll at least give the official route a chance. (She does not seem to be under any illusions it'll work but have to get started somewhere) --- I agree with Sophie, "ultimate frisbee" is a dumb name for a sport.

Dean Alreadyforgothisname drops a tech billionaire, which feels like either someone we'll return to later in the episode or a future mark.

Elliot is stealing the camerafeed for Breanna, But gets spotted by someone who redirects him elsewhere to fix whatever needs fixing. Parker complains that college campusses, campussi? Campi? are too easy. The one way to prevent Elliot from kicking your ass: Be someone he genuinely likes and/or pities. (he's gonna be evil isnt he? Obligatory third act twist) Harry cant distract this guy too long, They find the stuff (its behind the whiteboard) but while Parker manages to hide Breanna is found --- Breanna, when a mark says "oh you're the janitor" your response is "yes let me just take the trash out", confirm their suspicions and biases. But now that you've failed the slam dunk exit time to flatter his glasses and ego, (and bait him with a new, promising student he can plagiarise next) He tries to bait her with an impossible question, but she sees through it and exposits that she actually knows what she's talking about. But breanna has made herself an opening next monday --- So he's looking to "sell" (techcically lease) the patent to this clean fusion research to an oil company.

Mr "genius" doesnt seem to understand what "installed backwards"means.

Breanna stalls and redirects the oilguy, Floyd is about to interfere with Elliot. Harry is going to request the hearing,

Floyd is suprisingly happy with Elliot. Are we shock-therapying the Oilcorpo?

Oh Floyd has friends (presumably the actual backbone staff of the institution, secretaries, accountants etc.) --- Ok so its a secret Illuminati order of janitorial staff. I've seen this joke before but also, dont mess with the janitors man. They know where the bodies are hidden as well as where to hide yours.

As far as taking Gray down, Elliot just won the fucking lottery.

Meanwhile Harry gets what amounts to an out-and-open admission of corruption from the Dean. (Rule number 1: Never admit to your crimes where Leverage is near. They have recorders in their ears. The Dean's job priviliges are hereby revoked.)

"we need all the crime". Simple line but it works. 8.6/10 --- New plan: Convince Gray that the girl stole the research from a third party and its way more valuable then he thinks.

Breanna tells Emma to help Sophie

Sophie on a greenscreen doing a Ted Talk, Elliot plants a book with Sophies thesis in the library.

Gray just entered the suplycloset/Sophies Lair. Sophie, you could've waited 1 minute, given him the time to steal stuff on camera and strengthen your futures.

--- Time to feign Tech Billionaire Status (that guy from earlier is getting dropped again) HARDISON IS PLAYING THE SPACEBILLIONAIRE! I am loving this. They really realised exactly how much leniancy a greenscreen gave them to work around this guys schedule. the legit look of glee on Sophie's face when she realises Hardison is joining this con. She (character) doesnt even need to fake it. (i dont want to presume on the feelings of the actor)

Hardison, you ducked up your coverstory in the first line. A tech billionaire admitting that their people did the work not themselves? God if only we lived in a world where that really happened. (i mean an ideal world obviously wouldnt have billionaires in the first place but one step at a time)

Gray has taken the bait. Sophie boner-baits him into a rush decision.

Problem with a violin scam, what if they have an actual buyer lined up. --- Ok so list of problems: Getting Emma in the room, Goading Gray to over-extend. Getting rid of a billionaire's security. thats 1 big problem and like, 2 quarters of a problem. (Emma is the legit issue, anxiety sucks)

Huh this tech billionaire is actually rather open minded and sensible. Ah they let him realise they're conning him to move the guards out of play.

All the janitors working together to funnel this guy into his doom. Gray tries to prevent Emma from meeting the Tech Billionaire just in time for commercial break. (he's about to gloat on a wire, while the billionaire is locked in a box with a functioning speaker hearing him admit everything) --- Oh yeah the billionaire went to school here, he's been in Gray's class and knows enough science to know that when a professor claims to have all the answers rather then admit "i dont know that, i'll look into it" from time to time its a big red flag. Obviously fuck billionaires, but on the scale of fictional billionares this guy is pretty good.

"I have Tenure" "We have a Harry".

Commission Price changes coming soon (Next month)

Okay, I've been putting it off on the rare chance i'd somehow materialize 500 more dollars a month from patreon or something, but I think it's time to bite the bullet and increase my commission prices again. This is because of these reasons:

At the moment, I'm barely breaking even, and the winter bill increases and problems-that-needs-addressing in the past few months have made it impossible to actually save money.

I'm drawing as physically and as mentally quickly possible. I'm trying to not to push myself into burnout or physically hurting myself, but im always teetering on this edge. I find myself constantly apologizing for going so slowly, and wish I could draw faster and just knock several things out of the park every week, but that would definitely cost me in some way that may not be recoverable… or at the very least cost a lot in product quality! And I want to make sure you guys are happy with your pieces!

As it stands, my patreon hasn't been able to gain the traction it needed to keep me afloat. Which is ultimately fine, but I have to compensate with a commission price increase since that seems to be where a lot of people's interests are falling these paste few months.

Prices have not been finalized, but I'm debating between several methods of price increasing. Such as:

A flat percentage increase across the board. Easiest to implement.

A large increase in the 1st figure's price, to account for correspondence and adjustment work that often makes commissions take longer. ie. $100 for a figure, then $60 for subsequent ones of the same size in the same piece.

Removing the WIP phase for commissions, and offering a pricier bracket that allows that back and forth correspondence. YCHs will be getting a price increase for this too, though it'd still be lower than the current normal figures. This will allow much faster completion of commissions.

Please let me know any thoughts about these! Feedback pertaining to what would still be attractive to you would be useful while I ponder my options.

I unfortunately cant let myself ruminate on this for too long cuz the bills will not wait on my indecision! So I'm aiming to have a final decision within the next week, and for w/e decision I have to be active by february 14th.

If you want pieces using the current prices, feel free to jump on the list between now and than, even if you're already waiting on a piece. To avoid possible insanity, I will allow a single customer to have a max of 4 figures on the list at a time before the price change, whether its all one big piece, or 4 individual ones. Ones already on the list are free to alter or add their orders, too, since i've already been doing that anyway! These updates will be reflected on the commission form as well.

As always, thanks to everyone and their continued support!

Yes, hello i have news

So today i showed my friend hellsing. I love her so much but she is so annoyinh, i ask her "which one would you like to watch, the 2001 version or ultimate?" (Mind you i talked to her about both of them extensively, so its not like she didnt know what was the difference) then she tells me "idk which one would you want me to watch?" and already then im crawling on the ceiling, but i stay calm and ask her "well do you want style or action?" And then she still doesnt give me an answer and then i start the gonzo version bc i think that that is a good starting point bc i saw that before ultimate (i read the manga before it but gonzo left a bigger impression in me amyways) and then she has the nerve to say that its slow and doesnt make any sense and that so much is filler

Bestie YOU let me choose, yes it will not be explained who makes the artificial wampires, but Ultimate doesnt explain it either at the same point in the story and i think its far better to look at in the case of style and mood

Anyway her mom doesnt really want her to watch it bc - prepare yourself - Alucard is Integra's servant. Yeah in the story where vampires kill vampires and lunatic catholic priests are running around with meter long bayonets and killing anyone who he wants (mind you her moms boyfriend is catholic), and THAT is the problem? That Alucard is a servant? That the fucked up anime has fucked up stuff in it when the point is to BE fucked up?

AND, and (and) this is when my friend watches aot which is equally fucked up, if not more

Idk its weird

my full response below the cut!

hey bestie ^o^ well let's see gets out clipboard there's a few different factors to this...

if we're talking about quality, hellsing ultimate all the way. a lot of people like gonzo for nostalgia and characterization reasons but ultimate is simply the better option for a first-time/one-time-watch viewer. i will say though, if they think gonzo is slow then the ultimate finale is likely going to be a total drag.

when it comes to getting into the show in general? it's a slippery slope. hilariously enough, most of my irl hellsing friends (hi guys) found out about it through me and the conversation went a little like:

"please for the love of god dont watch this show guys" "we're gonna watch it anyways" "might as well rewatch it with yall..." "HOLY SHIT WE LOVE IT"

in my (slightly un-knowledgeable) opinion, i think if your friend has watched aot they can handle the themes of hellsing ultimate. however i have been meaning to compile a list of content warnings (mostly for my own rewatches and skipping over scenes that are just. straight up assault) anyway so if you guys need any of that i would be happy to pitch in. unfortunately there's not really a way to cut out-how do i dance around this-the antagonists of the show so if that's going to be an issue i'd say stick to gonzo.

tldr, id say ultimate (unless you need to avoid the factor above), but that's just my humble suggestion and im not gonna hold myself responsible for anything that happens next lmao. thanks for inquiring and i wish you and your friend well :)

Are media representations of fans as ‘weird’ and ‘overly emotional’ fair? What is your own experience of fandom?

Yow people! Im back with a new topic again! Are you guys excited, please be excited. Don’t make me the only person excited to talk about this. So my chingu we are back with topic on FANDOM. Yeayy!!

Its regarding FANDOM gosh I’m so excited! I love this topic so much as I am a part of the kpop fandom community. Yohooo! This time, I'm exposing myself since, well, why not? Most of you are aware of what fandom is, I assume. But I guess some might still not know what that is, so I’ll explain it briefly later to you guys. Talking about fandom. Which fandom are you in? Mine is a Kpop Boy group named Seventeen.

So, lets begin with what is fandom?

Ayoo how to explain it briefly ahh? This might be a bit long but trust me you’ll understand what fandom is by the end of this blog post. If you are still confused please do some research or come to me ill help you or I might also bring you to the world of kpop hehe.

Strictly, for those who live under a rock or are just uninterested in things like this. If you guys feels like I’m judging you guys now. Well yes, I am. Hahahaha don’t be too serious. Fandom is a group of people who support groups or individuals regardless of the genre. Unbeknownst to you, everyone is a fan of something whether it’s a sport, music or movie. The word FANDOM is a community which is complex and diverse. Everyone has different preferences, dislikes, and perspectives. In addition to many other wonderful qualities, we are diverse in terms of gender identity, sexual orientation, and color. We come from a wide range of nations and civilizations as well.

Even though my interests might not be of interest to you, I'll still tell you. Like I care hehe.

As I was growing up, I was exposed to a wide range of experiences. From being addicted to video games, to music, and also martial arts sports. However, music is the one that has stuck with me the most after martial arts sport. I start discovering the Korean music industry Kpop when I was in primary school at the age of 11 years old. I started with watching a Korean Drama To The Beautiful You released in 2012. That was the beginning of Amalia’s journey in the K-Drama, K-pop world. Language is not a barrier to ones interest. I’m proud to say that I have watch probably hundreds of K-Dramas and hundreds of K-pop songs too till todays age. But this one particular boy group that catch my attention by their song is Seventeen. I've been hooked by their upbeat songs and beats, entertaining choreography, and overall vibe up till now. I adore them so much as how they keep training from zero to winning a Daesang Award yesterday at the Mnet Asian Music Awards. They also teach me that giving up is not an option. You have to keep trying as a failure is a beginning of a success. I could spend all day talking about them. I've poured countless hours and dollars into my favorite bands and products. I don't regret it, though.

But often why does the media often portray fans as ‘protective’ and ‘obsessive’?

No matter what you're a fan of, society and the media will always interpret you in the way that they want. It truly depends on you, though, therefore it doesn't rule out the chance that some fans will be regarded as such.

The question is, do I consider myself as one of those? Probably no, I do love my boys so much but not to an extend where I would be so obsessed and be overprotective. Since fans come from a variety of nations and backgrounds, it is to be expected that some would behave differently than you would prefer. chasing them, intimidating them at airports, and ultimately turning into "sasaengs." "Sasaengs" are devoted followers who stalk or act in ways that violate someone's privacy.

Fan sign events are supposed to be happy occasions where fans can interact with their idols. Unfortunately this isn’t always the case During the Seventeen Fan signing event. Reported that a sasaeng fan got angry at Joshua, a member of the group. She started trowing objects at him making everyone present there in shock. Her actions brought the entire event to a halt, and a manager had to walk the fan out of the stadium and immediately escort her away from the the Seventeen group members. (Koreaboo, 2018).

Of course, the industry has seen a lot of other incidents, but this is one of the most well-known from the recent past in this group history. This has demonstrated the terrible potential of obsessed fans.

According to a news report by Soompi, Woozi said: “We prepared this song because we wanted to express our gratitude to the fans.” (Omar, 2018).

A true fan is someone who respects their idols space and privacy while still supporting them. That concludes my analysis of this week's topic. Remember, you could be a fan of anything but be a respectful and responsible one. See you next time chingu!

References:

Koreaboo. (2018). Koreaboo. https://www.koreaboo.com/lists/13-disturbing-stories-sasaeng-fans-went-far-1/ ‌

Omar, A. (2018). (Showbiz) SEVENTEEN boys give Thanks and share quirky stories. [online] NST Online. https://www.nst.com.my/lifestyle/groove/2018/02/333737/showbiz-seventeen-boys-give-thanks-and-share-quirky-stories