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#Also one of my posts being about self reblogging and myself being the no. 1 blog I rb from
gaytedlasso · 1 year
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I posted 21,905 times in 2022
2,333 posts created (11%)
19,572 posts reblogged (89%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@sketchbookdean
@xofemeraldstars
@castielsupernatural
@castiellesbian
@transsexualcas
I tagged 7,085 of my posts in 2022
#spn art - 672 posts
#el.pdf - 548 posts
#ask elliot - 382 posts
#misha - 362 posts
#jackles - 276 posts
#prev - 272 posts
#faves - 254 posts
#castiel - 178 posts
#spn edit - 171 posts
#destiel - 165 posts
Longest Tag: 72 characters
#😭😭😭😭🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈😄😇😇😇😇😇😇😇
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I love self reblogging. The concept of going "is anyone gonna reblog this amazing content I made?" and not waiting for an answer
1,917 notes - Posted June 15, 2022
#4
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We built a little house and filled it with our little dreams
But shining brighter are the moments that were in between
If I'm honest, it felt like love
.
And in the morning, you adored me 'til the sun went down
And then I knew you were the one I couldn't live without
If I'm honest, it felt like love
Don’t You Worry by Oh Wonder
-
Day One of My 2k Celebration
light - home - what if it was easy - it will be easy
1,927 notes - Posted August 26, 2022
#3
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Divinity lives within my skin and my love,
I am blessed that you let me worship at the altar of your lips
.
“Please,” he says, “I need something more.”
More than life? I ask. Than pleasure?
“Yes,” he says, with clasped hands on bent knees,
“I need you”
.
He spills whiskey into his stomach, smoke into his lungs. He spill blood, his own and others’.
But he does not spill one drop of us, tongue chasing fingers so that he may take what is left of my body from my hand.
- poem by Kath @caskarass
~
Stolen moments of holy intimacy between Dean and Castiel
Their mutual worship knows no bounds.
2,047 notes - Posted July 8, 2022
#2
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baptized in blood,
it drips from my nose
with no absolution.
what if it was easy?
Dean Winchester - patron saint of the weary
~
for my beloved Sana @sobernatural celebrating 2k
prompt: young Dean
inprnt / redbubble
2,441 notes - Posted July 2, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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Losing love is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you’re blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow
Graceland - Paul Simon
~
Dean's heart burns in front of him. Leaving the hollow shell of what was. or could have been, if he'd shared it with Cas.
For Liv carrotfricker's 500 celebration - void/grief
2,494 notes - Posted February 7, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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goodluckdetective · 7 months
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Look, this is what moral OCD is like for me:
I walk past a piece of paper. I don’t pick it up because I had a long day at work and it’s very cold outside. This then becomes my internal monologue:
I didn’t pick up that piece of paper, I should have. Don’t I care about the environment? It’s not my trash, I shouldn’t have to pick it up. But also that’s how these things happen right? We place the blame on others as our environment degrades. It was just a piece of paper, it’s not like it can do that much damage. But also how do I know: I’m not an environmental expert. Maybe stray paper scraps are killing the frogs. You’re literally killing the frogs. You should look up how many frogs die a year so you know how shitty you are-No stop it.
I care about the environment, and I recycle and I joined green activism movements but is that enough? I could be doing more. I should be doing more. I should donate my entire check to charity. But isn’t it self serving to think that my one check could help that much? Do I really think I’m that important, how self entitled and-no stop it, reset! You are obsessing and if you fall for it, you will not eat dinner. Let it go.
Okay it’s just a piece of paper. It’s okay you skipped it this once: it could have had something dangerous on it. Yeah that makes sense. But also, that means I’m putting my own safety over trying to help the environment, which is very selfish of me. I’m just one shitty person: god how could I be so self absorbed. I should have picked up the piece of paper. I’m so selfish, and shitty and-no, no, stop it! This is not helpful. It’s fine.
It’s been a long day and I’m cold, that’s not a crime- no that’s being selfish again, you’re making excuses. You’re just a lazy piece of shit who doesn’t care about others, and selfish and God the fact you’re thinking this much about one piece of paper shows how selfish you are, you care more about if you’re a good person than anything else, you’re a piece of shit, you’re a piece of shit, YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT.
I get home and open up Tumblr. The first post I see says “if you don’t reblog this post about the environment you’re as complicit as an oil billionaire.” I close my computer and resign myself to looking up the state frog populations until I go to bed.
I don’t eat dinner.
The amount of frogs that die a year is somewhere from 200 million to over 1 billion.
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Jumping on the bandwagon woo-hoo
no spam reblog or spam comment ;P
For every 100 reblogs I'll drink another bottle of water
Update: Ive drank almost 2 whole water bottles in the last 3 days which isn't much proportionally but for one, I'd probably not even drink one if it wasn't for the internet critters in my phone telling me to and also, yk, thats alot of water compared to my last few weeks getting all my fluids from food
10 reblogs: Go to bed before midnight tonight
50 reblogs: I'll make my bed in the mornings for a week
Update: I found out that my bed being made kinda stresses me out for some reason, it's just so neat I get scared, and so instead I am putting away 3 pieces of clothing that have been clean for months and i just haven't touched every morning :D
75 reblogs: I'll work on getting accommodations for my autism at school
Update: I don't have the required "proof of diagnosis" and I'd have to wait 2 years or so to get it and I won't be in school anymore at that point, so I'm working with my counselors to see what they can do aside from official autism accommodations
125 reblogs: I'll work in upping my failing grade in math
Update: Math test retake on the 12tg, wish me luck!
150 reblogs: I'll work on my dopamine addiction and get help
Update: Hooooooly shit addictions are hard. I'm going to start a timer for time between uses of YouTube shorts or Instagram reels in an effort to reduce my need for instant gratification and try to replace every time I pick my phone up with drawing or reading or talking to people around me.
200 reblogs: I'll post my art that I've been self conscious about posting
Update: I am really happy for this, it's finally an excuse for me to make myself post my art :D it's probably gonna be 1-2 drawings per post with a little background with each :3
300k reblogs: I'll start cleaning up my room
400k reblogs: I'll clean out my bag (God pls don't get to 400 yall T T)
500: I'll get sharp objects out of my room
1k reblogs: I'll be really happy :0
Edit; Added more goals
2k reblogs: I'll start streaming on twitch again!!!
3k reblogs: I'll empty out my drafts
5k: I come out as trans to my parents (I don't know if they're transphobic so to speak, but they are of the mindset that "do whatever you want once you're out of our house but until then you are our kid" but I wanna be like um no actually-)
5.5k: I come out as trans to my non-transphobic grandma
6k: I come out as trans to my transphobic grandma
Edit 2; Yo same picture of the earth reblogged me?!? the picverse found this?!?! that's insane xd
Edit 4; I added some coming out goals because I'm not gonna do it if I don't have the pressure from hundreds of little things in my phone cheering me on xd
Pinging moots so there's at least a small chance of any of these happening xd
@calimewzz @annotated-catastrophe @glitched-out-dusk @life-is-okay-rn
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cringefailroboguy · 1 month
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Okay narc abuse this narc abuse that
How bout y'all share your favorite ways to cope with a crash
Here are some of mine
1. I join close knit communities involving my interest/s and am active in them frequently. After a while, the people start recognizing me and when I share something I'm proud of (even if I made it pre-crash) some people will notice and comment on it, which boosts my confidence a little! My art means a lot to me and I tie most of my self worth on it, so people complimenting my art by extension compliment me too. You don't have to be an artist for this, just doing anything you're good at and you love and having people notice this might help you feel a bit better
2. When I'm having a somewhat minor crash (or right after a major crash when I've ridden it out and am feeling a bit better) I go on sprees where I do good stuff for people, I give money to the homeless, I buy gifts for my family members, I compliment a stranger etc, people usually notice this and thank me for it which also helps me feel a bit better about myself (note - I do these things one and off without crashes, but I usually binge-do-good when I'm feeling especially low hahaha) (dunno how much this one works about actually upping your ego, but I personally tie worth as a concept to being a good person, so actively and provably being a good person immediately helps me with perceiving my worth as a human being)
3. Tumblr drafts 😭😭😭😭😭 I've noticed that journaling and venting in my notes doesn't help because nobody sees it and the lack of attention makes me get even worse, and venting to people drives them away from me and makes me uncomfortable so I've avoided venting and I bottle up my emotions a lot which usually actually drives me into a crash in the first place. So I started writing and formatting my vents as actual tumblr posts that I'm totally planning to post, and I tag them and everything, but then I save them as drafts. This way, for some reason, my brain sees this as "yes. You will now post about what's bothering you and many people will see this and like and reblog this!!! You'll be so noticed and cool and get so much attention!!!" Which makes me feel better in the moment, except as I get better I forget about the drafted post so I also simultaneously save my privacy while I'm at it looollll
I mean arguably, all of these are for some mild-er crashes and usually for some bigger ones I don't really have a coping mechanism so I just lie in my bed, shake and feel cold for weeks until I finally get the energy to get up, but honestly even if I can make it a little bit easier for me, I will
Anyway feel free to share your favorite coping methods too!
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Help for when you’re having a rough time
(If you're looking for my old pinned post with my whump masterlists, you can find it here.)
In light of some deeply sad news in the whump community today, I’m thinking about how many of us here struggle with mental health, sometimes including physical or mental self-harm and suicidality. Since I know lots of folks might be having a hard time right now, I wanted to share some resources that have helped me in rough moments. Please feel free to add on to this post (or make your own, if you want!) with the resources that have worked for you. 
First, a note:
Trauma, shame, and suicidality all tend to isolate - they make us feel like we’re all alone in the world, like no one else would understand us, and like the only solutions we have available to us are ones we can think of all by ourselves. In my experience, the antidote to that is connection. If you’re feeling scared or alone, you can hop into my asks or DMs if you want. I’m sure there are other folks in this community who would offer that, too. Many of us have grappled with mental health struggles, including suicidal ideation, and sometimes we can offer each other the care that can be hard to offer ourselves. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need support.
A quick note about location: I live in the US, but about half the resources in this post are written guides you can access from anywhere. The hotlines and warmlines linked below are US-based. One or two are accessible in Canada or have an online chat or moderated forum that could be accessed anywhere. If you have good local resources from another place, please reblog and add them! (Thank you, @straight-to-the-pain, for flagging this in the notes!)
That said, here’s my absolute first recommendation if you’re feeling generally awful and don’t know what to do:
1. You Feel Like Shit (also available at its original site here)
If you’ve read a lot of ~self care tips~ in your life (and if you’re a bit of a salty bitch like me), you might be sick of being told to eat something and take a nap. (I don’t think we can hydrate our way out of long-term trauma and late-stage capitalistic hell, but thanks.) That said, I’ve found this site REALLY helpful. Personally, I have ADHD and CPTSD, a combination that makes it ROUGH for me to know how to take care of myself sometimes. This site speaks to you calmly, like a non-judgemental friend, and walks you through steps that you might struggle with if you have a hard time with executive function in general, or if you’re ill, grieving, overwhelmed, or otherwise just off your game. I pretty much always walk away feeling at least a little better, even if I don’t complete every step.
There are more suggestions and resources below the cut. Wishing everyone in this community love and care. <3
2. The 15-Minute Rule (info available in many places; after a quick google, I really like this site as a place to start)
One key principle to understanding the resources I’ve put together here is the 15-minute rule. If you’re feeling an urge towards physical or mental self-harm or suicide, studies show that the urge is unlikely to last more than about 15 minutes at its peak intensity. (Sorry I don’t have data on this off the bat - anecdotally, I can tell you that this rule also tracks with my own personal experience.) This means that, if you’re presently feeling overwhelmed by grief or pain that’s turning inwards on you, if you can stay afloat through the next few minutes, the tide of it is likely to ebb. The site I linked above has information about this concept and some great harm-reduction ideas, too. (Another resource on this that I liked in my quick search is here.)
3. Read This First (a compassionate distraction from feelings of self-harm)
I’m gonna be honest; this resource is aimed at folks having urges towards physical self-harm, but it looks like something I would find helpful with urges towards emotional self-harm, too. (It also looks like it could be handy for body-focused repetitive behaviors - BFRBs - like dermatillomania/skin-picking or trichotillomania/hair-pulling).
4. Resources from Pete Walker, psychotherapist and author of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
Obviously not everyone reading this will have complex PTSD (also called C-PTSD), but if you’re a person who, in general, tends to beat yourself up a lot, I’d highly recommend checking Pete Walker’s work out. If some of it doesn’t apply to you, that’s okay - take what you need, and leave the rest. This site (and the book it references most heavily) assumes you may have had parents who were emotionally or physically abusive or neglectful. If that doesn’t ring true for you, but other parts of the resources seem helpful, use them anyway! A handy place to start maybe this page on Shrinking the Inner Critic in Complex PTSD (that is, reducing the volume of the voice that screeches unpleasantness at you when you feel ashamed or scared).
As a note: this website looks VERY mid-2000s (which I kind of love). Most of the resources you want will be in the right-hand column full of links. Some of those links will open new pages, and some will automatically try to download a PDF of the article you want to read. 
5. Warmlines:
This is something I just learned today - if you’re feeling really lonely and sad, but you’re not in immediate crisis, there are warmlines you can contact! These seem to be numbers where you can call (or sometimes text) to talk with a counselor or trained peer when you need support and connection. I can’t vouch for any of these numbers personally, but as someone who has definitely thought, “It’s not bad enough to REALLY need help,” I think this is a fabulous idea. Here’s a list of warmlines you can check out in the US.
6. Specialized hotlines: 
There are lots of good crisis hotlines out there, but some may be better for your needs than others. For one thing, if you’re feeling seriously suicidal, it’s good to know the policies of the hotline you’re calling. In my opinion, everyone deserves bodily autonomy and the right to refuse care; for that reason, I think it’s important to know the policy of the hotline you’re calling as to whether or not they’ll call emergency services without your consent. Everyone has to make their own judgment call on this one, and I’m a little too (lightly!) triggered to go deep into my analysis on this right now, but I wanted to flag that it’s something to be aware of - if you’re going to call a hotline, you can try to look up their policy on calling emergency services before you contact them. You could probably even ask them in the beginning of the call. (A script: “Before we start, can you tell me what your policy is about contacting emergency services on behalf of callers?” If this is true, you can add: “I’m having some feelings of [suicidality/self-harm], but I’m safe and am not in danger of hurting myself or others.”)
With that in mind, here are some hotlines that seem promising to me, in no particular order:
A. For queer and trans folks in general:
Trans LifeLine
Available in the US (1-877-565-8860) and Canada (1-877-330-6366)
Available in English and Spanish
Will NOT call emergency services without your consent (you can read more about this policy on their website, including here)
Peer to peer support for transgender and questioning folks; also, microgrants (small amounts of money) for trans-related needs!
Does not offer text/chat-based support
I’ve never used Trans LifeLine myself, but I’ve heard excellent things about it from peers who have.
The Trevor Project:
Support from trained counselors for queer, trans, and questioning folks
Definitely available in the US; I’m not sure where else.
Offers support via phone (1-866-488-7386), text message (678-678), and online chat (link here - scroll down to Start Chat)
Also offers an online peer support space, TrevorSpace, for folks ages 13-24
Their site says, “In very specific instances of abuse or a clear concern of an in-progress or imminent suicide, Trevor counselors may need to contact a child welfare agency or emergency service.” When you click Learn More, it takes you to their Terms of Service (informative, but in legalese that might be hard to parse if you’re in crisis).
Again, not a service I’ve used myself, but I’ve heard good things!
B. For BIPOC folks (Black folks, Indigenous folks, and people of color more broadly), especially those who also hold LQBTQI identities:
Call Blackline:
Available via phone or text (both at 1-800-604-5841)
Available for people in crisis. Call Blackline can also help connect you with local community organizers and officials if you need to report a negative, inappropriate, or physical interaction with police, other law enforcement, or vigilantes.
From their website:
Call BlackLine® provides a space for peer support, counseling, reporting of mistreatment, witnessing and affirming the lived experiences for folxs who are most impacted by systematic oppression with an LGBTQ+ Black Femme Lens.Call BlackLine® prioritizes BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color). By us for us.
Here’s what I found regarding their policy on emergency services:
You do not have to provide any personal information to use the service. All calls remain private and will never be shared with law enforcement or state agencies of any kind.
Of course, a BIPOC person can contact any hotline for support, but for people dealing with racism, anti-Blackness, and other specific bigotries, I can very much see the importance of talking to someone who shares or understands that experience.
C. For folks processing bad psychedelic trips:
Fireside Project:
This one is something I didn’t even know existed! They do call- or text-based support (1-623-473-7433, or 1-62-FIRESIDE) for people processing psychedelic drug experiences, available 11am to 11pm Pacific time. I don’t have a ton more info, but their site seems really interesting and like they’re serving a unique need.
7. A soothing distraction:
One of the glories of the internet is the fact that it enables us to conjure up images of kittens at a moment’s notice. In that vein, I want to offer up a VERY cute distraction: Peptoc is a hotline (1-707-873-7862, or 1-707-8PEPTOC) where you can hear encouraging messages in English or Spanish from kindergarteners. How sweet is that? (Thanks to the wonderful @newbornwhumperfly for this suggestion!)
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Beloved whump community, I want to know about things that help you when you’re struggling. Please feel free to share them if you want.
And, Moya - we’ll miss you so, so much, even those of us (like me) who didn’t know you well. May your memory be an absolute blessing. <3
(I was going to put this in the tags, but oops, it’s going up here - I really hope this post will be helpful to someone, but it was also helpful to me to build. I feel better in a crisis when I can find a way to help - it’s how I soothe myself when I’m sad or scared. I really hope this doesn’t seem preachy or self-aggrandizing - it’s really just me processing-processing-processing. <3)
One more note: if this post makes you think you might want to follow my blog, you're totally welcome, but you should check out my note here first. This is not a DNI list; it's just a heads-up about my content, which could be inappropriate or triggering for some people.
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tizeline · 5 months
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Now that we're entering into 2024, I'm asking some artists and writers that I follow:
1) What is the one piece you're most proud of from this past year?
2) What are some pieces that you would have liked more people to see? If you can include links, I'd love to go check them out!
3) What were your top three favorite pieces (art, comics, fics, etc) that someone else has made this past year?
(As always, no pressure to respond! Feel free to just ignore, or let me know if you'd rather I not send you these kinds of asks in the future.)
Oh this is fun! :D
1) The drawing I'm the most proud of this year is actually one I never ended up posting lmao, so I suppose this is the perfect reason to actually do that
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I always feel a bit self-concious about posting non-fanart drawings cuz they don't tend to gain as much attention. Which, I am fully aware that there are more important things than clout! But I am a simple woman, I crave validation 😔 Anyway, I am still very happy about how this one turned out. I very much prefer drawing characters over enviroments, which led to me being way worse at drawing enviroments than characters, so I've been pushing myself for the last couple of years to get better at drawing backgrounds and surroundings. While I still definetily have a lot of room for improvement, this illustration here is the best I've done in drawing enviroments yet.
2) Again, original stuff don't tend to get as much attention (which I fully understand btw, I don't wanna make it seem like I'm complaining too much, I very much appreciate any and all support I get!!!!) but this post with some doodles of my OCs as well as this random drawing of some forest with a big stone head lying in it are a couple of posts I wouldn't mind if more people saw so..... the links are there if ya wanna have a look 👀
3) Oh man, I've seen so many awesome artpieces this year, i can't guarantee that these are my actual top 3 picks, but here are some that I could remember liking (and that I also managed to find lol) (also these are in no particular order
This GIF was the first piece of RotTMNT fanart I ever reblogged and it's still glued to my mind it's just great honestly.
Man I do not like Timothy in the 2012 TMNT series at all but MAN do I love the way pinetreevillain adapted the character for the Rise universe! He's made quite a few comics of Rise!Timothy and he made the character so extremely likable I just hdsjhgjakfga also Pine's artstyle is delicous yummy yum go check out his art now!
I really like those reanimation projects where a bunch of people collaborate and reanimate induvidual segments in their own style, and there was recently one of those released that was a remake of The Clothes Don't Make The Turtle episode from season two of RotTMNT and it's great! Go and watch it here!
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here4kpopfics · 2 years
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Leave The Door Open 2 | JJK
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PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE
Pairing: neighbor!Jungkook x (f)reader
Genre: smut, fluff, angst, humor
AU: fwb to lovers
Wordcount: 27,942 I'm so sorry
Summary: Loosely based off this request. The aftermath of hooking up with your neighbor is not what you expected it to be.
Warnings: Language. Possessiveness. A little bit of a creep vibe from Jungkook if I’m honest. They’re both dumb. Slut shaming (not in a sexy way & she slaps him in response). It’s implied that both Jungkook and reader are bi or pan. I don’t make the rules.  
Smut warnings: Explicit sex. Protected sex. Unprotected sex (Wrap it folks). Pet names (Sparkles and baby are used an OBSCENE amount). Edging. Whole lot of heavy petting. Oral (f receiving). Fingering. Squirting. Light choking/breath play. Masturbation. Use of sex toys. Anal and anal play. Double Penetration. Spanking. a lot of Biting. Multiple orgasms. Overstimulation. Technically cum eating. Creampie. I’m sure there’s more. I’m tired.
Rating: M / 18+
AN: This wasn’t meant to happen. Part 1 was just an open ended one off where you can decide what happens next. But @btsgotjams27 loves to taunt me in my DMs, sending me this gif and then a few days later posting the boxer prompt. and I immediately started writing. It was only going to be 6k max. But I've basically quadrupled it. This is a lot. I’m so sorry. Read More right at the beginning so you know it’s smutty. Thank you to the owner of my love and affection @here2bbtstrash​ for beta-reading this madness that is essentially a continuation of their request. Banner and Divider made by the beautiful @classicseffects​​
and as usual, please leave feedback. Either with a reblog or send me an ask. It’s greatly appreciated. 💜
Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Taglist | AskBox | Coffee? | Patreon
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“I lost my match because of you,” he pants, falling over next to you after tossing the used condom in the trash next to the bed. It was slowly getting full from the amount of stamina you both had when it came to being with one another. 
“What? What match?” You’re confused. Like you missed a whole conversation. Did he really fuck you senseless this time? To the point you don’t remember whole conversations? 
“My boxing match. Or, not mine, it was the guy I train. That’s why I was gone for three days. He had a match. And the coach believes that the boxer shouldn’t have sex for a few weeks before a match.” He rolls over, grabbing your thigh to pull you closer while casually putting you on your side and tugging you to align your hips with his. “I like to follow the same rules as the boxer so I have a similar mindset of what he’s going through in the ring. I was doing really well until you flung yourself at me two days before.” 
“First of all, I did not fling myself at you. More like I grabbed that annoying towel and you flung onto me.” 
“Did not.” 
“Did too.”
“Did not,” his hand wraps around your torso to grab a breast, giving it a harsh squeeze, and you whimper softly at the pain.
“Okay, maybe I did a little flinging, but you went with it,” you murmur in defeat. “So that’s on you for having no self control. Sorry your boxer lost a match due to a one night stand. That should really be on him though. Maybe he was having sex too, ever think about that?” You quip, moving his hand off your breast and onto the bed. 
“Also, didn’t you have a girl over last weekend? I can hear everything because of that stupid wall. That did not sound like you were not nutting.” 
“Porn, Sparkles. It was porn. I don’t bring girls home.” 
“Oh…” You put off the not bringing girls home part of that sentence because you’re currently in his bed and in his apartment. So what the hell does that even mean? “Wait. If you’re jerking off from porn, that still counts. So I’m not to blame!” 
“I don’t let myself come.” He says it so simply, lips against your temple, and yet just those five words light a fire in you. 
“I bring myself right to the edge.” His fingers lightly trail across your stomach. 
“Where I can feel myself about to explode.” Then down your side. 
“And just when I’m about to get there…” Across your hip and over your lower stomach, getting dangerously close to where you need him again. 
“I stop.” And so do his fingers. “I close the website. Breathe. And move on.” He pulls his hand away, resting it on his own hip so he’s not touching you. 
He’s not touching you with his hands, but he absolutely is with everything else. You feel his warm chest against your back, his breathing on your neck, and his growing erection against your ass. It takes so much resistance not to roll your hips back. 
“So you edge yourself,” is all you can breathe out. He just hums, bringing his lips down to your ear, breath rigid and hot. 
“It’s not that hard once you learn.” He licks behind the shell of your ear, giving the smallest nibble. “Do you wanna learn, baby? Wanna learn how to bring yourself to the edge of euphoria and be the one to rip it away from yourself?” 
You don’t. You don’t want to be the cause of denying your own orgasm. But his voice is so low and against your ear and you have no self control with this man. So you nod, leaning back into him as he twists your head back to kiss you. 
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Two weeks later:
You wake up to the blinding sun in your eyes. Who the hell opened the curtains? You know who. Squinting, you roll over, ready to smack the man responsible for blinding you in your sleep, but instead are met with just pillows. You open your eyes a little bit more to confirm he wasn’t there. Once confirmed, you roll on your back, stretching your limbs every which way, groaning louder than necessary. 
You stop when the bathroom door opens and out walks him. Your neighbor with the midnight karaoke habit. The man you have now technically slept with about six times but have had at least three or four rounds each time with in total. You can’t remember. Every time it goes one of two ways. Either he shows up at your door randomly and shoves you back inside, or you’re in your apartment, enjoying your alone time. And then his angelic voice sounds through your shared wall, calling you over like he was a siren and you were his victim. 
Last night he tortuously edged you, very reminiscent of the night he returned from his three day trip when he taught you how to edge yourself. This time, however, he edged you three times in a row over the course of an hour and denied you from release the rest of the night, meaning you two weren’t done yet.  
He’s not wearing anything. Just a towel. Another fucking towel. He grins ear to ear at the sight of you completely naked, tangled in his sheets, on his bed, in his apartment. A very unusual sight for him since he never brings sexual partners home. But this specific view is one he wants to see again and again. He sits on the bed next to your sprawled out form, placing a hand on your thigh closer to your knee and massaging it with his fingertips. 
“How are you feeling?” 
“Mmmm…sore. But good. You?” You smile, groaning softly at the feeling of his hand on your thigh. He moves it upward, still massaging and you subconsciously open your legs for him to get better access to the sore muscle. 
“Yeah, I’m good. There’s another match in two weeks, so I have to go back to abstinence starting tomorrow, which wouldn’t be a problem, usually. But now…” he trails off, hand creeping higher up your thigh until his knuckles are ghosting over your center, fingers still digging into your thigh. “Now, it feels like a real challenge.” 
“Yeah?” You smile, watching him lose focus as his eyes are locked on his new favorite spot. How are you already wet? Or is it from before? You lift your hips up just enough that a knuckle rubs against your clit and you shudder, enjoying his reaction. His expression drops and he looks up at you like you just betrayed him. You smirk. 
“Why tomorrow? Why not just start today? I should go so you don’t get distracted. Can’t be the cause of your guy losing another matc- OW.” A light but direct slap against your sensitive bundle of nerves jolts you to lift yourself up on your forearms. “What the fuck?!” 
He ignores you, throwing the towel off his waist, crawling over you and crashing his mouth against yours. You moan into the assault on your lips while his tattooed hand reaches down between you both and roughly covers your sex. He gives you all of two seconds to process anything before two fingers are shoved as far in as they can go and curling to hit your most sensitive spot. 
The guttural moan you let out is almost a growl as you fall back onto the bed, throwing your head into the pillows, hands frantically grabbing onto anything. They finally land on his shoulder, nails digging into his flesh, leaving scratch marks that you know will last for days. Hopefully he doesn’t mind. 
He doesn’t. It just makes him more rough with you. He adds a third finger, mouth moving down to bite your jaw and then your neck. Grunting with each thrust of his fingers. 
“Fuck, do you have any fucking idea what you do to me, baby? How am I supposed to be away from this… ” The hand not currently abusing your center tightly grips your hip, “for two fucking weeks? Just three days was enough to make me go insane.” 
You’re whimpering, on the verge of tears when he pulls his fingers out and sits up. He lifts your hips up to his face, resting your thighs on his shoulders, so just your upper back and head are touching the bed. He wraps his arms around your hips to keep you steady and attaches his mouth to your glistening mess of a pussy. 
You scream. “Jungkook! What the hell?!” Your hand reaches out for his hair but he’s too far away. You go to drop your hand in defeat when suddenly one of his is interlacing with it. He brings it up to your stomach so he can keep his hold on you as his tongue laps at your essence, sucking on your clit and folds in intervals. Licking small circles around your rim every so often just to tease you. 
“Please. Right there. Jungkook, right there. Don’t stop. I’m going to- please let me.” You’re crying, a complete mess and unable to control anything. Before he can either give you permission or deny you pleasure yet again, you feel a sharp snap inside of you and you’re screaming his name and bucking your hips everywhere. Your vision goes blurry and then dark and you can feel his grip on you tighten, hand still wrapped around yours as you come down from your high. 
It’s not until you fully come down that you realize you’re laying flat on your back again and he’s on top of you, placing soft kisses across your face and neck, kissing away any tears you have left. You squeeze his hand and open your eyes slowly, a few remaining runaway tears stopped by Jungkook’s soft lips. 
“You’re okay, baby. It was too much, wasn’t it? I’m sorry.” He whispers so softly against your cheek, you feel like you’re melting. You shake your head. 
“No. Maybe. I don’t know. What happened?” 
This time he’s the one squeezing your hand as he grins proudly. 
“You squirted.” 
Your eyes widen. “I did what now?”
He just nods. “It was a lot too. Must’ve been from the edging earlier. It was hot.” He kisses you while you’re still speechless and you can hear him softly groaning as he slowly ruts against the mattress.
“You’re hard.” You mumble in between kisses. He just smiles against your lips and nods. 
“How can I not be when the hottest girl just squirted all over my face? Wanna ruin you so badly but don’t want you to overdo it.” He moves down your body, kissing across your breasts, stopping at your pert nipple and teasing it with his tongue, moving on to the other one when he feels like he’s done enough.
“Jungkook?” He hums in response, lips wrapped around your hardened bud, causing you to moan and grab at his hair. You’re out of breath again. “Please ruin me.” His head snaps up to face you. 
“You sure? I don’t want you passing out on me again.”
“If you’re not going to touch me for another two weeks, you better get to fucking work. Plus think about the bragging rights of being able to fuck a girl literally senseless?”
“Don't tempt me, baby.” 
“Ah, but that’s what I do. It’s what I live for.”
“Did you just quote The Little Mermaid?” He tilts his head to the side and you laugh. 
“And if I did? Still gonna fuck me or nah?”
He really growls this time, reaching over for the box of condoms and grabbing the last one. “Okay, baby. But we’ll go slow.”
He quickly rolls the condom on, using your essence to give himself a few pumps before lining himself up to you and eases himself in. He leans back over you, capturing your lips with his, and slowly rolls his hips, swallowing your moans. He keeps to his word, a slow pace, but every thrust feels deeper than before and the fire in you is building just as intensely as if he was pounding into you relentlessly. 
“I’m not gonna last long, baby.” He presses his forehead to yours, noses pushed against one another and lips barely grazing. “Tell me you're close.”
“‘M close.” He sighs in relief, giving a few more thrusts, slightly faster than the previous. 
“Come with me, baby. Now.”
And as if he has some weird control over your body, your orgasm takes over your body in waves. You can feel him twitching inside you as you clench down almost in a specific rhythm that neither of you can recall.
Faces still pressed together, you’re both panting against one another, trying to steady your breathing and not completely black out. He gives you one last kiss on the cheek before pulling out of you and removing the condom, tossing it in the bin from earlier. He gets up and heads to the bathroom and grabs a warm washcloth, carefully cleaning between your legs, kissing your knee to distract you from the sensitive touches. 
Whispers of “You did so good, baby.” and “My girl did such a great job.” are repeated as he finishes up, curling up behind you as you drift back to sleep. 
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You wake up a few hours later. It feels like the next day, but somehow it’s not. Jungkook had to begin training his boxer later tonight and would be busy for a few days, so he had you come over last night to spend a vast majority of the time he had making you fall apart over and over. And once again, he’s not there when you wake up. 
You crawl out of his bed, grabbing his t-shirt and throwing it on as you head to the bathroom. He left a brand new toothbrush next to his, a post-it note attached saying ‘yours💜’, which is very reminiscent to the disposable toothbrush he left after the second time you two had sex with a note saying ‘all I have for now’. You smile, but your heart drops a little. The disposable one was just that. Disposable. Something to throw away after one or two uses. But this is a real toothbrush, something you replace after a few months, often with the same one because it’s what you like. It’s what you’re used to. You’re committed to it. 
You finish up in the bathroom, leaving the bedroom, and find Jungkook in the kitchen. You sneak in and lean against the island while his back is to you. 
“Whatcha makin’?” You laugh watching him jump in his place, spinning around with the spatula raised in his hand like a weapon. 
“Don’t you know not to sneak up on a guy in his kitchen?” 
“No. I was never raised properly, I guess.” You snicker as he relaxes, sending you an adorable glare that you’re sure he doesn’t intend on being adorable. 
“Gonna have to teach you some manners, Sparkles.” He clicks his tongue at you, turning back to the stove. “And I’m making the sexy and nice girl in my bed brunch since I fucked her into sleeping until past noon.”
You slowly nod, smiling. “Oh she sounds hot. I’ll go see if she’s still there. Maybe we could have a threesome. Wonder if she’d be down to DP. I have a strap-on. Bet she’d be into that.” 
You ramble off, walking around the island to lean against the counter, brushing your fingers up and down his tattooed arm, following the different patterns. “Which do you want? Her cunt or her ass? I’m fine with either.” 
“You’re a menace to my sanity, Sparkles, I swear.” His body stiffens right back up as he closes his eyes. You grin the widest grin, poking his side. 
“You’re imagining it aren’t you? Me and you and some hot girl taking it from both of us? You, on your back as her ass is riding your cock and she’s facing me as I pound into her tight cunt. Kissing her and feeling her up on top of you?” A quiet groan rumbles through his chest and he has to take a deep breath before letting out a long sigh. 
“No. I’m imagining stuffing a vibrator deep inside your pussy while I fuck your ass until you learn to obey me and stop talking nonsense.” As turned on as that makes you, you pout, resting your chin on his arm. 
“You don’t wanna share a girl? What about a guy? Are you into guys? That could be fun.” 
“No. Well, yes but, no. I don’t want to share you.” 
That same feeling of your heart plummeting happens again. You immediately step back, trying not to look as uncomfortable as you suddenly feel. Your eyes dart around the room, trying to map out all of your stuff. You’re pretty sure it’s all in the bedroom. 
“Hey. As much as I appreciate the brunch. It smells amazing, by the way. I have to go. I have a bunch of jobs to apply for in case I don’t do well in my interview tomorrow.”
“Oh. Okay, at least take it to go. Wait! You have an interview already?” 
“Uh, sure yeah. Thank you. And yeah! It seems promising. Hopefully I don’t fuck it up too badly.” You laugh a bit awkwardly. If he notices it, he says nothing. You quickly retreat from the kitchen, back to his bedroom to get your stuff. You change back into your shirt but don’t bother with the lingerie set from the night before. It’s literally a few steps to your apartment. You cautiously exit the bedroom, your anxiety rising when his voice suddenly appears by you. 
“Hey, tomorrow after the interview, we should hang out. I’ll have time before work. Either here, your place, or somewhere in the world.” 
Panic. Fear. Anxiety. Oh god. Do you lie? Or be honest? Which is worse? 
“Uh, I actually have plans tomorrow after the interview. I made them a few days ago.”
“Oh. Okay…”
Fuck. 
“It’s uh…actually a date.” You pause, looking down at the floor. “Yeah, I have a date. His name’s Hyunjin. I met him the day before, well… “ you gesture between the both of you, “this happened…and then I ran into him a few days ago and he asked me out and I said yes.”
“So why don’t you cancel?” He’s clenching his jaw. His body language is that of a tough boxer but his expression is that of a hurt puppy. 
“Because that’s rude…?” You slowly look up. He looks almost heartbroken? But at the same time like he’s ready to fight anyone that gets in his way. 
“Just tell him you're seeing someone else.” He shrugs and your brows furrow in confusion. 
“But I’m not seeing anyone else…?” He stares at you, dumbfounded. “Wasn’t this…just…sex? We haven’t even gotten to the conversation of dating or even tried to get to really know each other outside of bed?” Your voice is starting to raise and you're stumbling over your words. He just stares you down. 
“I thought I was making it pretty obvious.” He mumbles. Hurt puppy eyes again. Fuck. 
“Well obviously not.” You scoff, crossing your arms, lingerie still in hand. It’s dead silent. You’re stubborn. You’re not canceling this date. Hyunjin is super sweet and you both clicked immediately. You’re wracking your brain, trying to figure out ways to solve this without ending whatever this was with him. Then he softly whispers, voice laced with a hint of venom.
“Are you going to fuck him?” He’s glaring down at you and you look taken aback. 
“I…I don’t know. I don’t plan on it. It depends on how the date goes. Why? Do you want to meet him so you can see if he’s good enough to fuck me?” You don’t intend for the hostility in your voice to grow stronger, but Jungkook’s being an ass right now. 
“No, I’m pretty sure any dick is good enough for you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Your face grows scalding hot and you're livid.
“Exactly what I said. You’d probably think any dick is good enough to fuck, as long as it’s offered, right?” The venom in his words penetrates straight through your heart and pumps through your veins, instantly making you feel disgusting everywhere. Your eyes well up with angry tears and you can barely breathe.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You hiccup, a sob threatening to break free. “It’s one fucking date. We barely know each other, Jungkook. I am allowed, as a grown woman, to date whomever I fucking want. And I am sure as fucking hell allowed to fuck whoever I want and you have absolutely no right to judge me for it.”
Fuck, the tears are coming. Have to get out now. 
You turn away from him, heading for the door when he grabs your wrist. 
“I’m sorry. I just. I meant it. I don’t want to share you.” You can’t stop yourself before your free hand reaches up and slaps across his face as hard as you can. 
“YOU DON’T OWN ME, Jungkook!” You smack his hand off your wrist and smack his arm for good measure. ”You can’t share something that isn’t yours in the first place! I’m not a piece of fucking property. I’m not some fucking sex object for you. I’m a human being with fucking feelings and fears. So don’t you fucking dare say that kind of shit to me ever again.” 
You give him one last look. He’s avoiding your eyes and unsure what to do next. You shake your head, letting out a scoff. “Fucking ridiculous. Good luck at your match in two weeks, Jungkook. I’m sure you won’t find it difficult not to have sex when I’m not around.” You spit your final words at him before bolting out the door, slamming it to get your point across, and going into your apartment. 
And that’s when you lose it. You drop against the door and that horrific sob that was in your chest finally breaks out. You heave, your chest unsure what to do first, breathe in or breathe out. You’re panicking. Tears run down your face and you stay like that for twenty minutes. 
Jungkook can hear it all. He sits against the wall shared with yours and just silently listens, a few stray tears leaving his eyes. If you had just canceled the date, he wouldn’t have said such horrible things. Fuck. Why did he have to say such things? He didn’t mean any of it. God, he needs to tell you he didn’t mean any of it. But by the time he gets up and is about to head out, your cries are gone. Fuck. 
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You spent the rest of the day curled up in bed. Getting up only to shower the smell of him off of you and to make a quick snack. But that was it. You stayed in bed until the next morning when you had to get ready and put on your shining personality for your job interview.
You put on your favorite most professional looking outfit, styled your hair, took your time to make sure your makeup was flawless. You went all out. You were getting this damn job. You can’t afford another few days without pay or else you won’t be able to pay rent. And then you would be kicked out. Not that you currently mind, since then you wouldn’t have to see your annoying neighbor. 
You step out the door, heading straight to the elevator, and look down at your shoes. They’re what you call your “fancy time shoes” and are only to be worn when needed to be fancy or professional, or both. You’re too busy in your own head that you don’t notice another door opening and closing, nor the sound of footsteps following you, growing closer. 
The elevator door dings and opens, and you step straight in, doing a 180 to face the buttons. And that’s when you see him entering the elevator as well. Your heart stops, but your face doesn’t show it. Instead, you step as close to the opposite side of him as possible and keep your gaze straight ahead. 
“Hey…” he mumbles politely. You just hum in response. “On your way to the interview?” You nod, eyes refusing to wander. He tries again. “Y/n, I didn’t mean it like that, yesterday…”
“Then how did you mean it?” You snap, finally looking at him. “When you called me a slut, Jungkook. How did you mean to call me one?” 
“No. I didn't. None of it. I didn’t mean any of it.” He sighs, fidgeting with his gym bag and you roll your eyes and turn back to staring straight ahead. It’s silent the rest of the way down and as you both exit the building, turning to go opposite directions. That’s when he decides to turn around as you walk away. 
“Good luck, Sparkles! You got this!” You lower your head avoiding any gazes of any people around, too embarrassed to check and walk faster. You have the faintest of smiles, but you have to convince yourself not to cry or else you’d ruin your makeup.
The interview actually went well. It’s a family owned record store not that far away from your apartment. The pay is almost double and the hours are a little more than your previous job. It’s perfect. The owner, Namjoon, was very excited to have someone want to come work in a record shop and practically hired you on the spot. He asked you to come back in a few days for a (paid) trial run and to meet the rest of the staff to see if everyone would get along. You excitedly said yes and were on cloud nine the whole way home. 
At least you were until you got off the elevator and saw the two doors next to one another. And remembered why you were coming home in the first place. You rush into your apartment before any chance of running into Jungkook happens again and get ready for your date. 
Hyunjin texts you around 5:45 that he’s outside. You’re wearing a flowy dress, lightweight cardigan on top, some simple flats, and a small crossbody purse. You quickly head downstairs, praying not to run into Jungkook. 
The date is nice. It’s dinner at a reasonably priced but slightly upscale restaurant. And then a walk along the river. Maybe some ice cream after. It’s safe, a safe date. You and Hyunjin are able to hold a conversation without any awkwardness and he’s so sweet, so kind, and so very attractive. Almost annoyingly attractive. He’s so pretty, like his face was sculpted by the gods. He’s perfect. But he’s not who you’re thinking about. He doesn’t have that adorable freckle under his lip. Or that scar on his left cheek. He’s against tattoos and says facial piercings are weird. 
The dinner is delicious. You both make quiet jokes about the fancy names restaurants like this would give the most simplistic dishes. You share a bottle of the cheapest wine and eat all of the never ending bread. He tries to pay for both of you, but you insist on splitting it. You wonder what a date with Jungkook would be like. 
The walk along the River is also pleasant. Hyunjin doesn’t hesitate to hold your hand and you let him, purely because you admire his confidence. You continue the walk for a while, listening to him talk about his painting. And you’re interested, you really are. But it’s nothing to you. You’re growing bored and you feel guilty about it. You wonder what you would be doing with Jungkook right now if you did end up canceling the date. You hate this. You hate what you’re feeling. You hate that you’re thinking about another man while holding hands with this beautiful creature of a man next to you. Hate that when he gives you a kiss goodbye after you tell him you have something to do in the morning, all you can think about is Jungkook’s lips against yours and how soft they felt. 
Which is how you find yourself back in your apartment building, in front of the door that isn’t yours. You stare at the number nailed to it for what seems like eons until you finally decide to just do it. What’s the worst that can happen? He calls you a whore next? Who cares? That’s not even what you’re mad about. Your first two knocks are light and hesitant. But the third and fourth knocks are determined. It takes a minute before he finally opens the door, leaving you to both stare at each other, unsure of who should speak first.
“…Hey.” You meekly let out. You clutch onto the strap of your purse. 
“Hey…” He’s just as meek. Both of you are feeling like shit about yesterday. “What happened to your date?” You shake your head, looking down at your shoes. 
“I wasn’t into it. Ended it early…” You glance up quickly to see his pout turn into shock, smugness, and back to pout in the span of two seconds. “Can we…can we talk?”
He watches you fidget in place for a moment before finally opening the door wider and stepping to the side. You cautiously enter, head still down and arms still clutching the strap. You literally saw him this morning, but it feels like it’s been forever. 
“How’d the interview go?” He needs to end the silence, he hates it.
“It was good. I think I got it. It’s that record shop a few blocks away. The owner’s having me come in in a few days to meet the staff. If they like me, I’ll get the job.” You softly smile, stealing a moment to glance up at him. 
“Of course they’ll like you. It’s hard not to…” You try to stop your eyes from widening, bringing them back down to the ground. 
“Y/n, I really am fucking sorry for what I said yesterday. I overreacted. You’re not a slut, and even if you were going to be sleeping around, it’s none of my fucking business. You’re right. We don’t know each other. But in the time we have known each other, I’ve only wanted to know you more.” He pauses. “I like you, y/n.” 
You sigh, shaking your head and tugging at your purse’s strap “How though?” It’s barely a whisper. “How can you even know you like me from barely knowing me?”
“Because I just do.”
“But how, Jungkook? I need to understand how. Because I’m not like those idiots that believe in love at first sight. It’s not real. It can’t be.” Why are you on the verge of tears? Why does this matter so much? Why are you so scared of his answer? 
He steps closer to you, reaching up to lightly cup your face and lifting it to make you look at him. 
“Well, I am one of those idiots and believe in fate and love at first sight and all the bullshit that you don’t. And fuck, Sparkles, the second I saw you in your towel looking dumbfounded, it was like something clicked in my brain and all I could think was: Fuck. There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. So please.” He brings his face closer to yours. “Please understand what I’m saying when I say I really want to get to know you better, I really want to prove that this could be something if you just try.”
You don’t know how to respond. He’s not serious. This isn’t real. You shake your head, lowering it again to rest your forehead against his chest. 
“I need time…I just, I need time, Jungkook. It’s too much too fast.” He places a kiss on the crown of your head, whispering okay a few times. He pulls you into a full hug and you finally allow the tears to fall once you’re fully embraced in his arms. 
You silently cry in his arms for a minute or two until you finally pull back. He cups your face again, wiping the tears away. He’s smiling and he’s so pretty. Everything about him is beautiful. His body, his hands, his face, his laugh, his big bunny teeth, his angry face when he eats, his everything. But right now all you can focus on are his lips. And you’re reminded of your boring kiss with Hyunjin. So you get on your toes, placing your lips onto his. 
You feel his lips curve into a smile as he gently returns the kiss. But that takes a turn when your head tilts to meet with his lips better. Suddenly, you’re being backed up against a wall and he’s deepening the kiss, parting your mouth with his tongue and swallowing your moan. 
Your hands tangle in his hair. His hands drop to your hips, holding them in place against his. You give a teasing roll of your hips and he pushes you further into the wall, mouth open against yours, nose squished against yours. 
“I can’t. I want to, so bad. But I can't.” He pants against your lips, moving to leave smaller kisses across your face. 
“No, it’s okay. I should get going.” You both nod but neither of you move as he continues making sure every inch of your face has received at least one kiss. “Jungkook, I should go.” 
“I know.” He whispers, but he sounds slightly annoyed at the thought of letting you go. His thumbs rub small circles on your hips. 
“I can’t leave if you’re pinning me against the wall.” 
“I know.” 
“Yeah? Then you gotta move.” 
“I am moving.” He is. But it’s just to start kissing your neck. 
“Jungkook…” You whine, but it’s stern enough that he finally stops, sighing against your skin and pulling away from you, his grip on your hips disappearing. You both laugh, out of breath, making your way back to his front door. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
He looks delirious with the smile he has painted on his face right now. “Mhmm.” 
You both say goodbye and before he can lean in to kiss you again, you leave and shut the door. You go back to your apartment with a smile on your face. That’s how it should feel to kiss someone is all you can think as you get ready for bed. Maybe there’s something there, but is it enough? is the last thought you have as you fall asleep. 
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You give it five days. Five days of just letting things die down, feelings sit where they need to sit and be analyzed over and over. You had politely texted Hyunjin the morning after the date saying you had a great time but didn’t see it going anywhere, but would love to see it through as a friendship. He was actually happy, because he wasn’t feeling it either. 
The fourth day, you went back to the record shop for your trial run and to meet the rest of the staff. It’s a very small group of employees. Aside from Namjoon, you meet Jimin, Jeongyeon, and Felix. You all get along really well, Namjoon closing up early and taking you all out to get barbeque and soju.
After about an hour and two bottles of soju each, Jeongyeon says she needs to pee and drags you with her. Once inside the bathroom, she faces you, leaning against the counter, a big grin on a gorgeous face. 
“Okay. I’m beyond thrilled to finally have another girl in the store, but we need to set some ground rules.” 
You blink slowly. “Sorry, what?”
“Ground rules. Sister rules. Girl code. Whatever you want. First of all, I know it’s inevitable that our periods are going to sync up. So let me know when yours is so I can be prepared. I hate unpredictable periods happening.” You snort, the soju going to your head a little bit more than usual. 
“You know what, I agree. I rarely get mine since I have an IUD, but still a good rule. Okay. Rule one. Period checks. What else?”
“Nice! Rule two! And I don’t like this one, but it is necessary.” Her joyful expression drops and her tone turns serious. “If at any point any of those men out there or outside of the store say or do anything to make you uncomfortable, tell me and I’ll fight them. I doubt they will but you know, you never know.” 
You nod, fully understanding and even appreciating the offer to fight in your honor. She actually looks like she can knock someone out if she was angry enough, it’s kind of hot. You’re about to respond when she switches back to her happy expression. 
“But let’s not dwell on that because it won’t happen. I know the guys way too well. Jimin is a flirt but can’t make a move to save his life. I would know, we’ve been flirting back and forth for like a year and still nothing.” She huffs, looking at her acrylics. “Felix wouldn’t hurt a fly. And the boss man is happily married and his husband is way too handsome to cheat on.” 
“Well then.” You laugh. “That’s a lot to take in. But okay, understood. Anything else?” A huge grin appears across her face. 
“Yes. I want to know everything about my new best friend.” 
You both leave the bathroom a moment later, heading back to the table laughing. You spend the rest of the night with Jeongyeon whispering back and forth, often breaking out into fits of giggles over nothing. You watched her flirt with Jimin, who could only flirt back for so long before he had to direct his attention elsewhere. It was cute, even when Jeongyeon was talking to someone else, he had his eyes on her as if she was talking to him. 
By the end of night, Namjoon tells you you’re officially hired, and you head to a bar for celebratory drinks with Jeongyeon, Jimin, and Felix. Jeongyeon makes it her personal secret mission to get Felix a ‘friend for the night’ as she called it. Eventually, you and Jimin get roped into it, finding a guy named Chris and a girl you think is named Yuna. But you’re not sure because Jeongyeon and Felix have been feeding you shot after shot and now you’re feeling a bit more than tipsy. 
Felix, Chris, and Yuna all seemed to be getting along perfectly together, dancing as a trio on the dancefloor, and you, Jimin, and Jeongyeon take silent bets on how this is going to end. A few moments later, Jimin is talking to a girl, who pulls him to the dancefloor, much to the displeasure of Jeongyeon. She turns back to you at the bar with an adorable pout. 
“Do you have anyone, y/n?”
“Uh…” How do you even begin to explain whatever is happening with Jungkook? “No? But, yes? We’re figuring it out.” 
She tilts her head to the side. “So like an on-again off-again? Friends with benefits? What?”
“No no no,”  shaking your head, you play with the drink in your hand. You take a deep breath.  
“More like…we had intense sex one night, didn’t talk for three days, and then even more intense sex on and off for the next two weeks. And then a huge fight that resulted in him saying he likes me even though we really only interact with each other when we have sex and have never spoken to one another before having sex.” Your face scrunches as you think, taking in another breath. “Well, except when I showed up at his door in just my towel. That was the first time. The second time, he was in front of my door with just a towel which is what lead to the first intense sex. Then he went out of town and came back three days later, we had more sex. He basically called me a slut last week because I had a date the next day and refused to cancel. Then he apologized and now we’re taking it day by day, but I haven’t spoken to him in five days and it’s kind of driving me crazy? Like how can I miss this guy I don’t know? He’s my neighbor, by the way.”
Jeongyeon just stares at you, mouth agape. “...I’m sorry…that’s a lot to process. But let me focus on what’s the most important. What building is this where everyone is walking around in just towels and having crazy sex and do they have any vacancies?” 
You laugh, but tears sting your eyes. 
“Okay, no but listen. Do you like him back?” 
“...I don’t know…that’s the problem. I don’t know him. I just know how he is in bed.” Jeongyeon rubs your back as you slump over the bar, hiding your head in your arms. The alcohol is kicking in fully. 
“Then talk to him, sweetheart. Get to know him. Get a notepad and treat it like an advanced speed date or something. This is just me going off how you’re reacting and talking about him. But, I think you like him.”
You groan into your arms, lifting your head just enough to look at her. “How about I’ll talk to him when you get that girl off Jimin and make a move? A real one.” 
Her eyebrows raise as high as they can go. “Bet?” You just nod, completely unaware that Jeongyeon is not one to back down from a bet and also super pissed at the girl Jimin’s dancing with right now. 
“Okay. Deal. Are you gonna be okay over here alone?” You nod, sitting back up straight for a moment to prove you were okay. 
“Okay. Operation: Get Our Men is a go!” You high five each other and she skips off to the dancefloor, shoving the girl dancing with Jimin away and convincing him to dance with her instead. You cackle at the scene of her getting her man and Felix heading out the front door with Chris and Yuna. 
You take another shot, and pull out your phone, finding the number given to you some time between round two and four the second night you spent together. You suck in a deep breath before finally hitting the call button, tucking your head back onto your arms on the bar again. He answers after the third ring. 
“...Y/n? It’s one in the morning…” 
“Fuck, is it? I…sorry. I lost track of hours, I guess…’m havin fun.” you mumble into the phone. 
“You sound like it…what are you doing?”
“I got the job, Kookieeee. So now we’re celebrating. But Felix left with two people. And I think Jeongyeon is making moves on Jimin. But now I’m alone and I don’t want to talk to anyone else…” You groan, the alcohol finally reaching your brain. “...just want to talk to you…”
“Where are you, baby? I’ll come get you.”
“Nooo, it’s okay. I walk.”
“Not at one in the morning and absolutely not alone, y/n. Where are you?” 
You humph. “I don’t know…hold on.” All Jungkook can hear on the other end is you shouting for someone’s attention, some scuffling, and a deep voice finally speaking. 
“Hello? Listen, she’s not totally wasted, but I’m going to cut her off now and just give her water. We’re at Serendipity. I’ll text you the address from her phone.”
“Okay. Thanks, man. I know where that is, actually. Can you put her back on the phone?”
It takes a few seconds, but he finally hears your voice again. “Kookieee,” you squeak.
“Sparkles, I’m on the way. Drink the water the bartender is giving you and stay exactly where you are, okay?”
“Mmmm…okay.”
“Promise me you’ll stay where you are, baby.” 
You smile. “I like your voice on the phone. It’s sexy. Call me baby again.”
He chuckles as he gets in the car. “I’ll call you baby as long as you want me to, y/n. I’ll be there soon.” 
“Mmmm. Kay.” You hang up the phone without saying goodbye. You look for Jeongyeon who’s currently making out with Jimin while dancing. You figure you don’t need to update them on your whereabouts. You down the glass of water the friendly bartender gave you as he brings you another. 
About 20 minutes later, you feel hands on your shoulders and you lift your head, ready to yell at the perv who dares to touch a drunk woman, until you lock eyes with Jungkook. You couldn’t even hide your smile if you tried. 
“Hi, baby. Let’s get you home, yeah?” He smiles, moving your arm around his neck, and one of his slides around your waist to help you stand up. You’re really not that drunk anymore, but you secretly enjoy him taking care of you. 
“Wait wait, I need to pay first.” You twist around in his embrace, but he squeezes you closer.
“No you don’t, Sparkles. I already paid. Let’s go. I’ll make you some instant ramen.”
You want to argue, but your stomach grumbles at the idea of noodles. “The spicy kind?”
“I’ll get you whatever you want, y/n. Anything in the world.” He kisses your temple as he guides you out of the bar and into his car. 
You go in and out of sleep on the car ride home, holding onto Jungkook’s hand as the drive was making you dizzy. When you wake up, it's to the view of Jungkook's side profile as he’s leaning over you from outside the car and removing your seatbelt. You hum, smiling as he finds you waking up. 
“Hi, Sparkles. Do you think you can make it up, or do you need me to carry you? What do you wanna do?”
You snicker. “Want and need are two very different things,” you mumble, gaze falling on his lips again. “I think I can walk, though…”
“Okay. Let’s go.” He gives you another smile, quickly pecking your lips and then pulling you out of the car before you can react. Once you’re standing up straight, he locks the car before grabbing your hand in his. “Come on, noodles await you.” Your stomach grumbles at the mention of noodles and you immediately follow. You can think about the kiss later. 
You stumble into your apartment, kicking off your shoes and throwing your purse on the floor in the corner after taking your phone out. Jungkook follows behind to lock the door and turn the lights on. 
“Okay, go sit down and I’ll get to work on the noodles. You still have some, right? Or should I go get some from my place?” 
You scoff mumbling “What do you even take me for?” and open a cupboard in the kitchen filled to the brim with various instant noodles. “I may not have been taught to not scare a man in his kitchen, but I sure as hell know to always have noodles.” You both smile at the joke, but then you recall what happened after you scared him in his kitchen, turning away from him with a frown.
“Always good to be prepared, y/n. Which one do you want?” You grab the one you want, allowing him to choose his own and he gets to work. 
You excuse yourself to the bathroom to fumble into a big shirt, pajama shorts, and some fuzzy socks. Quickly removing your makeup and washing your face, sobering slowly as you go. When you return, he’s pouring it into the bowls and grabbing you both some water from your fridge. He brings the food to the couch where you’re sitting with a notepad and a pen. 
“What’s that?” He asks, setting the bowls down and handing you the water.
“We’re gonna speed date.” You state it so matter of factly while opening the bottle and taking a gulp. “I have a list on my phone of different speed dating questions. I’m going to write my answer down and you’re going to say yours. Then we’ll see how much we have in common and whether we’re meant to be or if we’re doomed from the start.” You explain, picking up your bowl and inhaling your food as fast as possible. As much as you ate at dinner, you were starving again thanks to the alcohol. 
“At 2:30 in the morning?” He’s settled down on the couch with you, both of you facing one another. 
“The past few times we hung out…or…would you call it hanging out or just hooking up? Whatever, it’s usually around this time, anyway. So why not? We’ll speed round it. It’ll be fun, come on.”
He watches you continue to inhale your food, wondering if this was simply just the alcohol talking or if you were actually considering giving this a chance. While he’d like to think you weren’t avoiding him for five days, he still didn’t understand why you didn’t reach out to him until now. But then again, he didn’t either. He’s been busy at the gym, which he has to be at again in less than six hours. His coach is going to kill him if he’s tired. He should leave. He should get up and go next door, down as much water as possible to combat the sodium, and pass out so he could get some rest. 
“Okay. We’ll answer a few questions. But then we gotta get you to sleep, baby.” He sets both bowls down once you’re finished and lifts your feet to settle them on his lap so he can massage them. 
“Ask away.” You want to pull your feet away, but it feels too good. You worked eight hours and then walked around town going to the barbeque and then the club. Your feet were exhausted. 
“Okay. Question one. Whiskey or beer?” 
You quickly scribble down your answer and on the count of three he simply responds “Beer” as you turn yours over to show whiskey.
“Beer, really? You like drinking piss water?” You scrunch up your face.
“Hey, it’s good after a while. You have to work up to the taste.”
“Nah, if I’m drinking, I wanna actually enjoy it. Liquor or bust. Maybe a cider or a really good seltzer. But seltzers are just as weird as beer.” You both laugh as you scratch out your answer. “Okay! Next! Hmmm… ‘Are you a possessive person?’ Well I think we know that answer for you already. I’m not. Or at least, I don’t think I am. I’ve never had a person to be possessive over. Okay, let’s see…What is your idea of a good date? I like that one.” You return to scribbling your answer. He just leans back, his hand moving up from massaging your feet to your calves. He waits until you’re done writing to respond.
“Anything with food. I love food. I crave it all the time, especially when I used to prepare for a match. It kills me when I can’t eat too much.” He laughs, remembering his trainer going off on him for having tteokbokki the night before a match. He still won, but his trainer was fuming. “What about you, Sparkles?”
He turns his head to look at you and you’re grinning ear to ear as you flip over the notepad that reads Night market going from food stall to food stall and eating one or two things from each one. Ice cream after and then cuddles. 
He can feel his heart tighten reading your words, the smallest amount of hope pumping into it. “Okay, perfect. I know what our first date is.” He teases with a smile, your giant grin fades a little, but not too much. You just nod and lift your phone back up to go through the questions. 
“Okay, we’ll speed round this part so we can go to bed. Are you a morning bird or night owl?”
You both respond with Night.
“Are you a book or a movie person?”
You both respond Movie.
“Do you want to change your past or see the future?”
You respond with changing the past, he responds with seeing the future.
This goes back and forth for another five to ten minutes before you’re yawning going through the list. He leans forward, grabbing your phone and the abandoned notepad and pen from you and placing it next to the bowls.
“I think we’re done tonight, y/n. We can do this another time, okay? I need to get you to sleep.”
You frown. “But it’s tied…One more? Please?” He sighs, nodding. 
“Okay, but I pick.” You let him scroll through the website until he finally lands on one. “Who is your 3am friend?” He asks with a subtle smug look on his face. You roll your eyes as he counts down from 3 and you both respond with the word “You.”
“Well I guess we have a winner.” He whispers, plopping your phone on your stomach and standing up to pick you up bridal style. You don’t fight him on it, both too tired to care and also overthinking what just happened. He lays you down in your bed and tucks the blanket around you. Just as he’s about to walk out, you grab his wrist. 
“Where are you going?” You whisper so softly. He turns back to you, leaning down so he can whisper back. 
“I’m going to clean up and then go back to my place. Go to sleep. I’ll lock the door on the way out.” You look up at him with sad eyes and a pout. 
“You’re not gonna stay?” Your words are meek, scared of being heard by anyone else, including Jungkook. 
“No, baby. I gotta work in the morning so I gotta sleep in my bed.” He places a kiss on your forehead. ”Also, who knows what’ll happen if I share the bed with you again.” You both snicker. “Can I call you after?” His question is filled with so much hope. You just nod and smile. 
“Okay.” You reach up for his face. “Kiss,” you mumble softly. He repeats the word back and you whine, trying to grab his beautiful face and pull him down to you. He laughs, leaning in and giving you one long soft kiss before pulling away, saying goodbye again and kissing the hand that was reaching for him. He walks out your bedroom door and sleep immediately overtakes you. 
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You wake up the next morning to a bottle of water and two migraine pills next to it. There’s a post-it note attached to the bottle that reads Drink Me along with a cute doodle of what you think is you drinking the water and giving a thumbs up. Your face heats up at the adorable image and you smile, doing as the cute cartoon version of you says and drinking the water.
You give it a few minutes of moving to stand up by laying in bed first, slowly sitting up with your legs dangling off the bed before finally getting out of bed and standing up straight. You don’t know if this actually works, but your friend in college had you do it after getting blackout drunk one night as to avoid a headache or throwing up from the sudden feeling of being upright. You’re not going to stop doing it to figure it out.
You text Jeongyeon, Jimin, and Felix saying you had a friend pick you up and hope they all got home safely. You grab the post-it note and head to the kitchen to put it on your fridge. You take a picture of it and send it to Jungkook. 
You: no one’s ever drawn me before. It’s cute. Thank you for last night. 💜
You carry on with your day of lounging around. It’s a nice Saturday and Namjoon wasn’t having you start until Monday morning. Jungkook cleaned all the dishes from yesterday, even putting them away. He moved your shoes that you kicked off to their designated space and hung your purse on the hook by the door. Everything looked good. So you figured an all day lounge was in store.
You watched a new Kdrama, immediately falling in love with both main characters. And squeaking every time something cheesy happens, which was often. It’s not until 3PM you receive a text from your pretty neighbor. 
🎤Attractive Pajama Man🎤(3:02pm): ofc, bby. Your beauty deserves to be drawn over and over. 
🎤Attractive Pajama Man🎤(3:03pm): Are you home?
You(3:02pm): Yes, sir. It’s an all day lounge with a new Kdrama. 
🎤Attractive Pajama Man🎤(3:05pm): tempting. But the all day lounge is done. Get ready to go out. Nothing fancy. I’ll pick you up at 5. 💜
You(3:06pm): what if I say no? 
🎤Attractive Pajama Man🎤(3:06pm): I’ll pick you up at 5, Sparkles. 
You humph, turning off the TV. You humph while you plug in your phone, and you humph as you go to your closet to pick out what to wear before showering and make yourself look less hungover. 
At exactly five o’clock there’s a knock on your door and you’re grumbling, trying to create the perfect loose tuck with your shirt into your skirt like the instagram models do. You open the door to the cute boy with the lip ring and tattoos and for a moment, you forget about the stupid shirt. He’s in combat boots, way too tight black skinny jeans, a simple white shirt, and a giant denim shirt. 
“You’re not one of those people that are always punctual are you? Because you’re going to regret liking me if so.” You turn around, heading back to your room, Jungkook in tow like the night prior. He enters your room where you’re standing in front of the mirror still trying to figure out the perfect loose tuck. He laughs to himself, moving to stand in front of you batting your hands away to tuck it properly. 
“No. I’m only punctual for the things or people that matter.” He dips his hands into your skirt, pulling the tank top up almost all the way, letting it billow over the skirt’s waistline, then does gentle tucks in specific areas until it’s literally perfect. You gawk at him. 
“How’d you do that? How many girls’ shirts have you tucked in? Where’d you learn that magic?”
He laughs, booping your nose. You immediately pull your face back. He just smirks at you. “I’ll teach you another time. We gotta go. Ready?” 
You huff at him, pouting. “When you say 5, to my brain, that means 5:15. So no, no I am not ready.” You turn from him, slipping a cardigan on and heading into the bathroom to fix your hair. 
“Okay. So from now on I’ll ask you to be ready fifteen minutes before my actual intended time.” He speaks a little louder, lowering his voice as you reenter your room to the view of him sitting on your bed. 
“There we go. Now you’ve got it. My brain is a scattered mess. You have to learn the correct manipulation tactics to get me to be a normal human being. I already explained that to Namjoon at the record shop. He thinks it’s weird.” You give him a thumbs up, putting a necklace on and grabbing your shoes. “Okay. Now I’m ready. I think.” You walk away from him on your bed and find your phone, wallet, and keys strewn across your counter in the kitchen next to the purse you emptied out earlier. You stuff everything in there, put your shoes on, stand up and declare yourself ready. 
You weren’t paying attention to him watching you from the doorway to your bedroom as you chaotically roamed around your apartment to gather all your things. It isn’t until you finally stop at the door that he finally approaches you. 
“So, where are we going anyway?”
He stands in front of you, smiling down at you in awe.
“I will tell you on one condition.” You raise an eyebrow, trying desperately to ignore his sudden proximity and the way it affects your body. “One kiss and you get an answer.”
Your eyes narrow at him. “One kiss? Just one?” He nods. “Fine.” 
You stand up on your tippy toes and go to press your lips against his quickly. But you should’ve known better. One of his hands finds your waist while the other one gently cradles the back of your head to deepen the kiss. You whimper, your own hands clutching his denim shirt. The hand on your waist disappears and you half expect it to land somewhere else on your body when you hear your door unlock and open behind you. You feel his smile in the kiss as he pulls away. 
“Yesterday, or rather this morning, you mentioned the night market as your perfect date. I am here to provide said perfect date.” You’re so frazzled by the kiss and the mention of a perfect date, and just a date in general, that you barely notice him ushering you out the door and waiting for you to lock it. It’s not until you’re in the elevator that you finally speak. 
“I never agreed to a date.” You try to sound as uninterested as possible, but he can tell you’re at least a little excited by the twitching corners of your lips threatening to tug upwards. 
“Oh. I’m sorry. Let’s try that again. Hey, y/n. Would you like to go on a date with me to the night market? I haven’t eaten since last night, so I can eat everything they have to offer there with you.”
You roll your eyes, laughing, but freeze a second later. “You haven’t eaten since our speed date?” You gape at him as you walk out of the elevator. 
“Nope. Wanted to make sure I wasn’t overdoing it. I have to workout with Tae tomorrow so I don't want to be bloated. I’m fine, Sparkles. It’s not that big of a deal.” He wraps your hand in his as you walk out the front door. You mumble something about it being a big deal to you, before running back what he just said. 
“Who’s Tae?” You ask as you turn to head to the parking garage. He just yoinks you back, insisting on walking instead.  
“Taehyung is the guy I’m training. The one who lost the match because of you.” 
“Not because of me, but okay. And he’s the one fighting next week?”
“Yup. That’s him, alright.”
“Can I come to the game?”
“Not if you call it a game, Sparkles.”
“‘Match. Whatever, who cares? It’s the same thing.”
“Absolutely not the same thing. But…” His hand squeezes yours as he stops walking, and he pulls you backwards so you end up in front of him. “As much as I’d like you there, I think you’d be a real…” The hand not in yours moves some hair out of your face, before he leans  forward to kiss the sweet spot between your ear and your cheek, turning you into a puddle. “…distraction for me.”
You have to close your eyes to bring yourself out of his annoyingly good trance to be able to reopen your eyes and glare at him. 
“First of all, it sounds like you have concentration problems. I’m not to blame. Second, aren’t you supposed to be not like this,” you gesture up and down at him, “for one more week? Don’t start something you can’t finish.” You give his hand a squeeze and start pulling to keep walking, but it just ends up with him behind you, pressing your connected hands between your back and his stomach as he kisses your temple. 
“Oh, baby. Just because I won’t be finishing, doesn’t mean you can’t. This is going to be hell for both of us but in very different ways.” 
Your face scrunches in confusion. “What’s that mean?”
“You’ll see later. But for now, we eat.” He grins, getting back into a normal walking position with you, and you walk the rest of the way there in silence. Or at least you think in silence, your brain is going haywire with ways in which it’ll be hell for both of you. 
The night market is packed. You wander up and down the food vendors, making plans of which ones to go to and what to get from each one. The whole time, Jungkook has an arm around your waist, keeping you as close as possible in the crowd of people. 
You decide one person goes to one tent while the other is at the one adjacent. Then just keep repeating the cycle until both of your arms are full. Then one of you sits down with everything, and the other gets the last of the stuff, including drinks.
You two execute the plan flawlessly, even finding a lone table to lay out all the food. You organize the food in the order you agreed upon while Jungkook grabs the rest of the food and drinks. Once he returns, he sits down next to you, and you both get down to it, splitting each item while asking questions about one another. Favorite colors, favorite seasons, where you grew up, quick run downs on family trees. You make it about half way through the food before you finally get the courage to ask what you’ve been wondering for almost a week. 
“So why don’t you fight anymore and just train?” You grab a piece of Korean fried chicken strips, tapping some of the red dust off before dipping it in the sauce. So far this was the clear winner. 
He hesitates before mumbling, “I got injured.” He hands you a wet wipe after seeing you struggle with the red dust sticking to your fingers and barely coming off on the napkin. You raise an eyebrow at him. 
“How so?” He sighs, playing with the straw from his drink. 
“I had a big match, I was winning. But at the last second, he just hit me in a specific way that knocked me out cold. I had a concussion and couldn’t compete for two and a half months. The doctors wanted me out longer but I’m stupid and stubborn and said I was fine. So I got another match. Five minutes in, I feel disoriented and get hit again and my head crashes to the ground and I wind up with another concussion. This one was more severe, forcing me to retire nine or so years too early.” 
He looks broken. Like he was forced to have to be pulled away from his dreams. You want to hug him, make him feel better. But you’re unsure how to go about it. Usually it’s been him making you feel good. When you lost your job. When you were feeling sore. When you were drunk. He takes care of you and you suddenly feel guilty, like you’ve been taking advantage of him. 
You don’t know what to do. So you do the only thing you can think of right now. You hand him a fry and give him a supportive smile. “But you’re okay now right? Like no more concussions? And you’re at least still in the business, just as a trainer instead.”
He grabs the fry with his teeth, barely grazing over your fingers with his lips and nods while chewing. 
“I still have some symptoms. It’s not terrible, but it can get overwhelming at times. I still train the same. Stick to the same diet. Live and breathe like I’m about to have the biggest match of my life. I’m just not allowed to fight again…”
You watch his hands playing with the hem of his shirt as he trails off his last sentence. Just fucking do it, y/n. Stop being so scared. Your brain is screaming at you until you reach out for one of his hands, intertwining them and settling it in your lap, rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand. 
“Well at least you still get to be there in some capacity, right? You may not get to live out your dream, but you get to help Taehyung live his, and make sure he doesn’t get hurt. I think that’s almost better, honestly.” Being supportive and uplifting was never your strong suit. After working in retail for so long, you’ve become quite cynical and closed off from the world. But the way he squeezes your hand, and the smile that forms on his lips as he lets out a shaky breath, makes you believe you must’ve said something right for once. 
“That makes sense. I got hurt so I could help him.” He nods in agreement with himself. “Yeah. I like that. Makes the pain feel worth it.” He picks up the last fry and repeats your earlier action to you. You quietly eat the fry, feeling your face heat up and smile. 
“Is that why you’re so hellbent on sticking to the routine and training Taehyung is going through? Because it’s what you went through?” He lets go of your hand to start organizing the trash and what’s being brought back to the apartment for later. 
“Yep. You enter a certain mindset when you deprive yourself of the things you crave. Food, proper sleep, games, sex…” He glances to the top of your chest when you look away, admiring the perfect cut of your shirt showing off just the right amount of cleavage for him. He wipes his hands with a wet wipe you pull from your purse. “You become so hyper-focused on getting to the end so you can have those things more. You become more disciplined and have a higher level of endurance after a while.”
His hand finds its way back to your lap, landing in your thigh where you subconsciously part them slightly so he can slit his fingers between them in your skirt. “But when you finally do get to enjoy those things again, you really appreciate it more.” He grips your flesh a little harder, causing you to whimper, gripping the table. 
“We should leave, baby.” The smug look on his face is all you need to know tonight is nowhere near done. So you just nod and get up, helping him throw the trash away and grab the condensed box of things you didn’t finish. He stops at one of the vendors with ice cream and grabs two cones for you both before heading out, hand in hand.
He watches you intently as you lick up the cone, making sure no drops get on your hand or on the ground for that matter. It’s a small cone so you swirl your tongue around and around until you feel it’s safe and it won’t drip. You look up at him after realizing neither of you had spoken and you were already halfway home. 
You are stupid enough to not realize what you were doing would’ve had such a great effect on him. His hand is tight around yours, eyes dark with lust, and his chest is rising faster than before. You glance down and you bet he’s regretting the choice of skinny jeans now as his erection is painfully obvious. 
He grabs the cone, throws it in a nearby trash can. You cry out a complaint and he ignores you, practically bolts back to the apartment, dragging you with him. 
Once back to your apartment and in the elevator, his hands find your hips and drag you back flush against him. He moves your hair out of the way of your neck so he can bite you as if he was a vampire. You cry, almost losing your balance, but he wraps a hand around your throat to keep you in place while he harshly sucks bruises on your neck. The doors open to your floor and he guides you out, one hand still on your hip, while the other stays firmly around your throat. 
“Unlock your door, Sparkles.” He whispers in your ear as your shaking hands go for your purse to retrieve your keys. He licks a long stripe up your neck, leaving a small bite on your ear to hurry you up. 
“Fuck, it’s not opening.” You’re a whimpering mess, hands shaking trying to get the stupid key in the door. His hand leaves your hip to find yours, flipping it over so the keys lay flat in your hand. He picks out the key to your apartment door and it places it between your index finger and thumb.
“Wrong key, baby. Now hurry up before I make you scream my name in this hallway.” His hand finds your hip again, but slides past it to sneak past your skirt’s waistline, fingers hovering over your clothed center. 
The moment the door unlocks and your key is pulled out of the lock, Jungkook lets go of your throat and removes his other hand from your skirt as he pushes you inside, shutting your door and pressing you against the wall like he did earlier. He doesn’t kiss you and both hands are on either side of you. Foreheads pressed together, both panting. He’s waiting for you to make the first move. You swallow, making him wait just a moment longer before you’re wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pulling him down to you, crashing his lips to yours. 
The groans he makes into the kiss are far beyond desperate and needy, his hands moving back to your body, roaming every inch he can touch. He rocks his hips into yours, pulling his lips away from yours when you gasp. 
“You said you had a strap… Where’s your other toys?”
“What?” He pushes you further against the wall, wrapping a hand around your thigh to wrap it around his waist to bring him closer to you. 
“Last week, y/n. You said you had a strap. No one owns just a strap. Where’s the rest of it?” You close your eyes, putting yourself in your room to try to remember what the box of toys not only looks like, but its location. The sound of his shoes being kicked off and tossed into the corner brings you back. 
“In my closet. Why?” You feel like you can’t breathe when he’s this close to you. You can’t think properly, you just want to be consumed by him but run away in fear at the same time. Whatever control he has over you is overwhelming.
You open your eyes again and the smile you’re met with is sinister. “Just because I can’t fuck you, doesn’t mean I can’t fuck you, baby. Get them out and get on your bed. I’m going to use your shower before I lose it.” He gives you one more deep kiss before he pulls off you, heading straight for your bathroom. You’re frozen in place and not a second later his voice booms from inside. 
“And you better be fucking naked.”
What the fuck did I get myself into? is all you can think as you kick your shoes off and restrain yourself from running to your closet to get the box from the top corner shelf. It once held your favorite pair of knee high boots but now contains various sex toys you’ve collected from random midnight horny impulses. You place it on the bed and step back to start removing your clothing. Then you catch sight of the box. Why does it look weird like that? You move it again, trying to make it more appealing. You do this for what feels like half an hour but is only two minutes before you hear the shower turn off. 
You panic, shoving your skirt and underwear off in one go, removing your cardigan and tank top as you climb on the bed. Your hands are behind you, reaching for your bra clasp as the door opens and he steps out in another fucking towel. Your hands forget about your bra for a moment, dropping to your side as you glare at the stupid piece of cloth. He tilts his head to the side, partially confused but mostly amused. 
“What’s wrong, baby?”
Your glare stays on the towel. “I need to make it a rule that you can’t wear towels around me anymore… It makes me angry.” 
He laughs loudly, heading back into the bathroom for a moment. He returns without the towel, but instead in his underwear. You pout again. 
“That’s worse.”
“It’s not about me tonight, baby.” He grins, crawling onto the bed on all fours, leaning in to kiss you quickly. “Only you. Now let me see those toys and take this off.” He hooks a finger around your bra strap and snaps it back to your skin. You wince as he sits back to grab the box while you remove your bra. You’ve been naked with him so many times in the last few weeks but for some reason you feel more vulnerable than usual. You want to put on a giant shirt just to have some comfort. 
He’s digging through your box of goodies. He pulls out a butt plug and looks at you with a sparkle in his eye. 
“You buy this before or after I put my thumb in you?”
“…After.” Embarrassment creeps across your face, but you figure honesty is really your only option at this point. He nods, putting it back in, murmuring “next time” and rummaging around some more. He pulls out a dildo that has a weird curve where the base should be, almost like a handle. 
“And this one?” This one makes you smile.
“That’s my strap.”
“...How is that a strap? Where’s the base to put in the harness?” You shake your head, grabbing it from him.
“It’s a strapless dildo. This part, ” Your fingers run over the smaller end of the toy. “This part goes in me so that while I’m fucking whomever, I’m technically being fucked too. And this is where you put the bullet vibrator for added fun.” You flip it over, pointing out the hole filled with a little metal bullet.” You look proud of this toy. Like you have good memories with it. Which means you’ve used it on other people. 
“Who’d you use it on?” He tries to sound neutral, but you’re well aware he’s getting jealous of someone he’s never met. 
“My friend in college. He was still exploring his sexuality and his kinks and he mentioned wanting to be fucked. I said I had this. He asked politely, I said sure. He baked me brownies after. It was nice. He still says it’s one of his favorite fucks. Top three for sure.” 
“You fucked a guy for brownies?”
“No. I fucked a guy out of the kindness of my horny heart. And got brownies as a reward. There’s a difference.”
“You fucked a guy for brownies.” He’s smiling, still holding the strap and you grab it from him, smacking his arm with it. 
“Shut up. One day, you’ll let me fuck you and you’ll be baking me brownies as a thank you. Just wait and see.” 
“So there’s gonna be a ‘one day’?”
“Ugh.” You toss the toy to the side rubbing your face with his hands. He smiles, knowing he’s got you. He goes back to your box of goodies and finds something of interest and pulls it out. Your eyes widen.
“And…what’s this one?” He loves the way you’re suddenly nervous, glaring at the toy as if that will make it vanish out of your hands. It’s clearly a good one.
“That’s…my rabbit.” He inspects it closely. 
“Doesn’t look like the other rabbits, though.”
“No…it uh…thrusts? And it gets wider…like the girth expands.” You wrap your torso around a pillow and dig your face into it, both giving yourself some cover from your sudden vulnerability, and also hiding your face from the man who has the most wicked smile. You can hear him turning it on and feel the wetness pooling between your legs, no doubt leaking onto your sheets. You should’ve put some towels down. There’s going to be a lot of laundry later. 
“When did you last charge it?” He asks, watching the shaft thrust back and forth while the head expands and compresses in perfect rhythm. 
“Four days ago,” you mumble your response into your pillow, wishing to not be here anymore or for him to hurry up and do whatever terrible thing he’s thinking of doing. He turns it off.
“Four days ago? Baby…when’s the last time you got yourself off?” You stay silent. “Baby…” He gently tangles his fingers in your hair, pulling your face out of the pillow. “Baby, you have to answer me. When did you last let yourself come?” 
“The morning after we talked. The morning after my interview and my date with Hyunjin.” His grip tightens at the mention of another man’s name and you wince at the feeling.
“What were you thinking of to get yourself off so early in the day, baby?” You shut your eyes, too embarrassed.
“I had a dream. It felt too real when I woke up…so I took care of it.” He gently lays you down, allowing you to keep the pillow in your clutches as he hovers over you.  
“What’d you dream about, baby? Or who’d you dream about?” His fingers unravel from your hair, keeping it all out of your face. You squeeze your eyes shut even tighter, hating how small you feel with him. Like he’s the big bad wolf and one wrong word, and he’ll consume you whole. “Baby, answer me.”
“You.” It’s the smallest whisper. Jungkook’s not even sure if he heard you answer him or if you just whimpered again, so he asks you to repeat yourself and you feel yourself crumble, finally opening your eyes to meet his.
“You. It was you and me and we were having sex.”
His forehead drops to yours, breathing out through his nose.
“Fuck, baby. You’re going to kill me.” His mouth finds yours and you both become a mess of moans and whimpers. He pulls off of you, sitting beside you, pulling the pillow away from your body and holding the rabbit like an offering. “Show me.”
“What?” 
“Show me how you get off to the thought of me fucking you, Sparkles. Show me.” He turns it back on, trailing it up and down your stomach. You shake your head, hands wrapping around his wrist.
“No. Too embarrassing.”
“Too embarrassing? You literally just proudly admitted to fucking a guy for brownies. No, baby. You’re wrong. There’s nothing embarrassing about getting off in front of me. It’s the hottest fucking thing on the planet.”
“I didn’t fuck him for brow- Ah!” He silences your defense by tugging your hand off his wrist and running the pulsing tip of the rabbit up your soaked folds, stopping at your clit. Your back arches and you reach down for the toy. “Stop stop stop stop, please.” He pulls it away from you once he’s gathered enough of your essence on it and turns it back off. He admires the wetness dripping down the shaft of it and brings the toy to his mouth, closing his lips around it to suck off your juices. 
He leans back down, kissing you so you can taste yourself on his lips. “There’s no such thing as embarrassment with us, baby. Now, please show me how you fuck yourself when you think about me? Please?” He gives you another kiss and you whine into it, eventually nodding. 
You take the vibrator from him, closing your eyes as you run the tip up and down like Jungkook did a moment ago, but leaving the toy off. Once you feel it’s fully coated with your arousal, you slowly ease it in, inch by inch, until you feel that familiar fullness. You find the power button with your fingers and turn it on to the slowest setting. The toy starts moving inside you and you whimper, overwhelmed immediately by the rhythm of the thrusts matched with the girth widening as well as the two little nubs vibrating against your clit.
You massage one of your breasts with one hand while the other keeps the toy pressed in you, only pulling it out when it gets to be too much. Once you calm down, you press it back in, rolling your hips in perfect timing with the toy.
You’re a moaning mess and Jungkook can only watch in awe. He’s fighting every desire to rip the toy away from you and put himself in, fucking you deliriously into the next year. He wants to make you come over and over and over again. He wants to fuck you without a condom so he can feel closer to you and come inside you. He also wants to leave the toy in and add himself in with it, really stretch you out and have the toy vibrating against his own cock until you’re both overstimulated. But he can only sit, watch, and resist touching himself. 
You’re writhing on the bed, trying not to make a sound and your eyes are still shut tight. Jungkook shakes his head, leaning over to cover his hand over yours on the toy, slowly fucking it into you as you relinquish control. 
“Don’t tell me you do this quietly, baby. Let me hear you, please.” He kisses your forehead. “Open your eyes and let me see you lose control, baby. I need it.” 
Your eyes squint open but threaten to shut again when he shoves the toy in as deep as it can go, the clit stimulators pressed against your clit, making you screech. 
“Jungkook. Move it, please. It’s too much pressure. Please.” He shakes his head.
“Are you going to keep your eyes open and on me?” You nod, desperate for him to move it. You’re so close. “Are you going to let me hear you and not suppress any more of those beautiful sounds I love so much?” You nod again, on the verge of tears.
“Please. I’m going to come. Please, Kookie. I need it.” 
“There’s that nickname, I was wondering when you’d say it again. Does my baby wanna come?”
“Yes please.” Your voice is strained, both hands gripping the arm he’s using for support next to your head as he fucks you with your favorite toy. 
“Okay okay. One more question. Are you mine, baby?” You nod, not thinking about the question, just assuming saying yes will get you what you need, and what you need is release. “Hmmm. I don’t think you understood the question, Sparkles. Who do you belong to?” You nod again. “You wanna come?” Another nod and he’s picking up the pace, watching your breathing, counting down until he thinks you're about to come. Just as you’re at the edge, he pulls the toy out all the way. You scream at the denial of your orgasm, twisting your head to bite the arm you’ve been clutching. 
“I don’t think you should come until you answer me correctly, baby.” He leans down, growling in your ear. “Try again, y/n. Will you be mine? Only mine? No dates with other people, no sex with other people, just you and me. Will you be mine?” The tone of his voice is dangerous, possessive. But you don’t care. You release your bite on his arm, it’s going to leave a mark tomorrow, and you lock eyes with him. 
“Yes. Yours. I’m yours. I’ll be yours. PLEASE!” You shout through the tears. You’re about to beg for more when simultaneously, Jungkook crashes his lips into yours and slams the toy back into you, pumping it at a rapid pace.
“Come for me, baby. Come all over this toy like it’s my cock. Cream it for me, please,” he grunts against your mouth and you’re finally allowed to let go. You wrap your arms around Jungkook’s neck, pulling yourself up to him, keeping your lips locked as you cry a moan into his mouth. He lets you ride out the orgasm, turning the toy off but continuing to pump slowly. 
He stops only when he feels you shudder against him, pulling the toy out and removing his lips from yours. You whimper until the cream covered toy is suddenly brought between you both. Keeping his eyes on yours, he taps the side facing you against your lips. You hesitate, too tired to understand until he licks up the side of the toy facing him and your eyes widen, suddenly understanding. You tentatively stick out your tongue, following suit and licking up your own orgasm from your favorite toy with him until there’s nothing left. He tosses the toy aside and quickly captures your lips again, tongues dancing together perfectly. 
He leans you back down on the bed, one hand cupping your face, the other holding himself up by your waist. Your hand slides down his chest and rakes across his abs, scratching at his underwear’s waistband, fingers running over the tip of his cock peeking out. He’s so unfathomably hard if the giant bulge and the precum stain isn’t enough. He hisses, the hand on your face quickly reaching down for your traitorous hand, grasping your wrist. 
“No, baby. I can’t. One more week. One more week and we can enjoy each other for as long as we want, okay?” 
You nod, trying not to close your eyes. “But you’re so hard. Doesn’t it hurt?”
“Like hellfire, baby. But it’s okay. I’m gonna calm it down. You go to sleep, okay?” He moves your damp hair off your face and you nod again.
“Are you staying?”
“Do you want me to?” Another nod from you, followed by you clutching his arm again and kissing where you bit, eyes falling shut.
“Please?”
The grin on his face is something you’d kill to have seen if you weren’t so exhausted. You feel another kiss on your lips. 
“Okay. I’ll stay. I’ll be right back, go to sleep.”
“No, I’ll wait…” You trail off, turning onto your side and clutching the pillow to your face, getting more comfortable, and he chuckles. 
“Okay. Wait for me.” He gets up and heads into the bathroom again, disposing of his underwear. He turns your shower on again and to the coldest it can go before stepping in. 
Fuck that’s fucking cold. 
He gently grabs his aching erection that’s threatening to explode and runs his hand up and down, frustratingly slow.
I don’t think I can make it a fucking week if she stays. I almost lost it so many times… 
His thumb drags over his tip while his other hand has a tight grasp on his balls, massaging them. 
She’s so fucking perfect. She didn’t mean it when she said she was mine. She only said it so I’d let her come, but- fuck I’m so close. 
He continues teasing himself, gentle and teasing at the tip but hard and forceful at the base until he can feel the familiar tipping point. He lets out a deep groan, letting off the tip but forming a ring around the bottom of his shaft, cutting off his orgasm he’s so desperate to unload. 
He rests his head against the shower wall, counting his breathing until he can feel his heart rate return to a normal pace. He leaves the shower, drying himself off, when he realizes he doesn’t have an extra pair of underwear or pajama pants. He could easily go next door, but the thought of putting his soaked underwear back on makes him cringe. He wraps the towel from earlier back around himself, heading out of your room to find his keys.
He sneaks over to his apartment, changes into some new underwear, loose fit joggers, matching hoodie, and a big shirt that he secretly hopes you’ll steal and wear. He brushes his teeth and grabs two blankets from his bed, an extra pair of underwear for just in case, his headphones, and his phone charger on his way back out, locking his door and reentering yours. He slips back into your room where you’re peacefully asleep. He somehow skillfully removes the blankets from underneath you. He has to give you a few kisses and help you into one of your own big shirts when you wake up just to get you back to sleep after he slides one of his blankets underneath you, the other on top. 
He throws your bedding into the washer, grabs the vibrator and the toy cleaner that was in the box, cleaning it in the bathroom and leaving it on the counter to dry. He finally returns to you, curling up beside you and pulling you close, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as you sleepily tuck your head into the crook of his neck and wrap an arm around his torso. 
He can’t sleep, too wired from watching you fall apart for him, and also edging himself gave him an adrenaline boost he wishes he could get rid of. So instead, he puts his headphones on and watches whatever he can find on Netflix, gently massaging your scalp at the same time. Once the washer is done, he sneaks out from under you to quickly move the bedding to the dryer and returns in record time. This time, he curls up with you, keeping his arms safely wrapped around you as he finally drifts off to sleep. 
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You wake up the next morning immediately feeling like you’re in a different bed. These aren’t your blankets. You open your eyes and sit up quickly. This is your room, but these aren’t your blankets. You’ve seen these blankets before though, they’re Jungkook’s. Why are Jungkook’s blankets on my bed? You scan your room, eyes landing on the neatly folded bedding set that you know to be yours stacked nicely on a chair. He washed my bedding? You’re confused as you get out of bed, realizing you’re not even fully naked anymore. 
You check the bathroom and see your little box of toys on the counter, the one you used last night already cleaned and put away. You grab the box and put it back in your closet before returning to the bathroom for a much needed shower and brushing of your teeth and tongue. You can still taste yourself and you’d rather not anymore. 
Once you’re clean and your breath minty fresh, you return to your room towelless and grab a pair of underwear as well as the closest shirt you can find. When did I get this shirt? runs through your mind as you put it on. You dry your hair as best you can and head out to find the man that made you see stars last night.
He’s in the kitchen cooking. And this scene seems all too familiar. You bury the memory as far back as you can as you enter the kitchen. 
“Hey,” you mumble loud enough that he doesn’t jump in shock like last time. No, stop thinking about it.
He turns around and his mouth drops. You’re wearing his shirt. He took it off and just wore his hoodie in the middle of the night when it got too hot. And now you’re wearing it. The neckline drapes over a shoulder and it stops just beneath your ass and it looks so fucking good on you. 
“Good morning. Or technically afternoon, baby.” He’s grinning as you wrap your arms around his torso, burying your face in his chest. 
“Thank you for cleaning up two days in a row. You don’t have to, you know.” He kisses the crown of your head and smiles. 
“No, I don’t have to. But does it make you happy or any less stressed?” You nod, resting your chin on one of his pecs, looking up at him. “Then I’m glad to do it.” You grin back at him. 
“Whatcha makin’?” You look around his giant frame to see various brunch foods, making your mouth drool. He steps away from you, going through your cabinets until he finds a plate, and serves up what you consider the perfect brunch. 
“Trying this again. Since last time it had a bad ending. Brunch for you.” He sets the plate down on the island counter before casually lifting you up to sit on the counter as well. You start munching on the food, ignoring the needy hands rubbing up and down your thighs or the lips on your shoulder. You look around for his plate but see nothing. 
“Wait. Where’s yours?” You're genuinely confused. Who makes brunch for one person? He just shrugs, his kisses leading back up your neck. 
“Already had it after I went running.” His hands slide farther up your thighs this time, landing on your hips and playing with your underwear. “But I wouldn’t mind seconds.” He gently bites your neck, lifting your hips to drag the underwear off and pulling you closer to the edge. His lips meet yours for a very hungry kiss for just a moment before he’s dropping to his knees, pushing your knees apart. 
“What are you doing?” You gasp, one hand flying to grab his hair while the other braces behind you to keep yourself up.
“Brunch,” he murmurs, tossing the underwear on the counter. He kisses up your thigh so slowly that you have enough time to contemplate yelling at him. The phrase ‘hurry up’ is on the tip of your tongue when he gives up on teasing and attaches his mouth to your cunt. 
You throw your head back, hand on his head, pushing him as close to you as you can. 
“Fuck, Kookie. Right fucking there, please. Fingers too.” He happily obliges, thrilled you're asking for more from him. He sucks on your clit, bringing two fingers to rub up and down your entrance before pressing them in, earning a deep moan from within you. He gives you half a second before he’s pumping them in and out of you, lapping up any juices that you produce. 
He’s working hard and fast but every time you feel yourself getting close, he brings it down to a slow pace and it’s not like you can lie to him about it. He’s got your body figured out perfectly. 
Fingers still working their magic, he spreads your legs farther and pulls you closer, giving you no choice but to lay back on the counter to give him more access. He kisses your rim, deeply pressing the tip of his tongue against it a few times and you’re crying. 
“Jungkook. Please. I can- I can’t. Stop teasing me, I can't take it.” You feel yourself getting overwhelmed again as he removes his fingers drenched in arousal from you, teasing your rim with one finger. He whispers relax and you do just that, crying out a moan as he presses his index finger in slowly and surprisingly easily. 
“Can I do another, baby? Or is that too much?”
You nod your head against the counter. 
“Another,” is all you can squeak out. 
“How did I go this long without you in my life? Fuck.” He grins, biting on your thigh briefly. He lines his middle finger up underneath his index finger after coating it with more of your arousal. He ever so slowly enters both fingers in your resisting hole and you want to cry from both pain and pleasure, crying fuck that’s good over and over until he’s passed both knuckles. 
He allows you a moment to recover from the sensation until his fingers curl, hooking in you as he reattaches his mouth to you. His fingers fuck your ass, his tongue your pussy. It’s the perfect combo as you cry out, begging to come, suddenly feeling a bit more confident when he bites down around your clit. 
“Feels so fucking good, Kookie. Fuck, I love when you play with my ass. Don’t fucking stop.” You roll your hips against his face, moaning as an arm reaches around your lower half to hold it down. His tongue works wonders on you and you’re losing your mind again. His mouth pulls away for barely a moment. 
“Come for me, baby. Feed me your cum.”  And then his mouth reattaches, working harder than before. Your orgasm hits you like an unsuspected tsunami and you try bucking your hips, but his hold on you is tight. You cry out, unaware of whatever is coming out of your mouth. Switching between thank you, fuck yes, and his personal favorite you’re so fucking good as you ride out the rest of your high. 
He slowly removes his fingers after cleaning you up with his tongue, loving the sound of your whimpers, and stands up. He used to think the final bell alerting that he won a match was his favorite sound in the world, but he thinks maybe the sounds you make for him are his new favorite. The view of you being a ruined mess below him might also be pretty high on the list of favorite views. 
He puts your underwear back on, lifting your hips to help. He grabs both of your hands, intertwining them with his, and helps you sit back up. “Hi,” he whispers softly when you look at him. 
“You need to start warning me before you touch me like that. I think my brain is melting.” You bring one of your joined hands to the side of your head and wince at the throb inside. He lets out a soft laugh, leaning forward to kiss your temple. 
“I'm sorry baby. But also, you’re welcome? Or thank you?” You grumble out a hum, resting your forehead on his shoulder. Your vision allows you to look straight down where you can see that he’s once again hard.
“How aren’t you dying from not orgasming?” You trail a finger around his waist. 
“Oh I'm pretty sure I am. But until then,” he grabs your finger, giving it a kiss. “Finish your food. I’m going to get rid of this situation.” He lets go of you and starts walking back to your bathroom when one question stops him in his tracks. 
“Can I see?” 
He turns to you, slightly tenser than before. 
“No.” 
“Why not?” You’re pouting now which is just making him harder. 
“Because I can’t focus with you around, baby. I’ll end up coming.” 
“But I wanna see how you stop yourself when you so clearly need to come…” He shakes his head, making his way back to the bathroom. 
“Another time, baby.” He shouts, turning the shower on.
“Hey! Are you going to pay my water bill for all the showers you’re taking?” You shout from the kitchen, returning back to eating your delicious meal. 
“If that’s what you want, I will.” He responds, voice somewhat strained. 
You continue eating in silence. You can hear the faintest of grunts from the bathroom, but not enough to be sure if it’s him or your imagination. 
He returns ten minutes later in his fresh pair of underwear and back in his joggers and hoodie. You’re curled up on the couch scrolling through your various streaming services trying to find something interesting. He sits next to you, taking the remote from you and turning the tv off for a moment. 
“Since we’re all about communication now, we need to discuss what happened last night.” He tries to sound calm and like it wasn’t a big deal, but you remember last night. You remember him asking you to be his and you saying yes over and over.
“Okay…” You can only look at him for a moment before your eyes have to find a random object in the house. There’s a piece of mail on your coffee table that looks nice and interesting. 
“You didn’t mean it when I asked you to be mine.”
Mail is no longer interesting, your eyes snap to his. 
“No, Jungkook. Not…not like that. I admit you’re right that there’s something here. I’m not going to deny that. I just…I don’t know. I’m not there yet? Relationships are a weird concept for me, it just takes longer for me to adjust. I’m sorry.” You expect him to get upset again, to yell and say something horrible. But he just nods. 
“It’s okay. We’ll go at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.” He pauses, figuring out his next words. You can tell he looks nervous, like he’s on the verge of panicking. 
“And I hope you don’t think when I said mine I meant like as my property or as my sex toy. I didn’t. I would never think of you like that and I just really feel horrible about last time and-” 
He didn’t even register you getting closer to him so it took him by complete surprise when your lips were cutting off his apology. You wrap your fingers in the hair around the nape of his neck, bringing his lips closer for just a moment before pulling back with a smile. 
“I get it. You’re possessive. I’m okay with that…to an extent. Just not in the context of you calling me a slut. Which, by the way. You can be all possessive and call me a slut and degrade me all you want in bed, if you’re into that. But if you ever imply anything like that to me again outside of sex? You’re going to have problems.”
“Understood. I’m so sorry again-” your lips cut him off again. 
“Shut up. We’re past that. It’s done.” One more kiss. “There was some truth to my answer last night. I’m not going to go on any more dates and I’m not going to sleep with anyone else. I don’t know what that makes us, but can it be enough for right now? Until I figure this out?” He smiles and nods, leaning in for another kiss. You pull back. 
“Nuh-uh, mister. You’re going to kiss me into another orgasm and I need a rest. No more touching. You have no control.”
“I have no control? Which one of us lost control that started all of this?” He quips back, but he’s still smiling, giving the remote back to you and pulling you closer to him. 
“Mmmm. You. You could’ve let me get drunk and sad and dance around my apartment. But no, you had to come over in that stupid towel.”
He snickers, watching you land on a show you find comfort and nostalgia in, not even bothering to explain it to him or ask if he’s cool with it. You toss the remote onto the coffee table, grabbing the blanket from the other end of the couch and tucking yourself further into Jungkook’s side. 
You both fall asleep for god knows how long. You wake up to an obnoxious ringtone somewhere in your house and you angrily get up to find it, leaving Jungkook passed out on the couch. You find the evil noise maker in your room, not even bothering to check if it’s your phone. 
“What?”
“...Hello?”
“Yes, hello. What? Why are you calling?”
“Uh…is Jungkook there?”
You freeze, bringing the phone out to look at the caller ID. 
🥊Taehyung.
“Shit, I’m so so sorry. His ringtone is obnoxious and it just made me irrationally angry. Uhm, let…let me go wake him up.” 
“Oh. Okay…Who are you, by the way?”
“Y/n…my name’s y/n. Jungkook and I are…friends…I guess? Hold on.”
You mute the mic and rush out of your room and shake the sleeping man on your couch. He groans, lazily swatting you away, turning away from you.
“No you don’t.” You grumble, crawling on top of him. “Jungkook, it's Taehyung. Wake the fuck up.” 
He just groans again. 
“Fine. I’m not sorry, by the way.” You reach behind you and palm him, giving a small squeeze. His eyes shoot wide open, and he sits straight up, one arm wrapping around your waist and the other tearing your hand away from his junk.
“What the fuck?” He looks livid, but you just smile sweetly.
“You have the worst ringtone in existence and I answered it and it’s Taehyung and he probably hates me now. Here you go.” You pass the phone to him, tapping to unmute. He holds his glare on you, fingers digging into your side.
“Hey, Tae. What’s up?” You move to get off him, but he just holds you tighter. You wince and his grip lessens as you uncurl each of his fingers, forcing him to let you get up and head to your kitchen to get some water, allowing him at least a little privacy. 
You try to tune out his words but there’s some stuff you just catch, like the “yeah, her” after explaining who you were. And then laugh and groan that’s followed by “no I haven’t. It’s hard though.”  And finally the “oh shit, I forgot!” which is immediately followed by him jumping off the couch and hanging up with Taehyung. You leave the kitchen and he’s spinning in circles looking for all his stuff. 
“What happened?” You ask, holding two glasses of water. He stops spinning to look at you and groans. 
“I’m an idiot and the coach is going to kill me for forgetting. But I forgot the match is a whole fucking week long thing so I have to fly out tonight and I won’t be back until Sunday morning if I’m lucky.”
“Oh…that’s okay.” You look down at the two waters and you don’t even realize you’re pouting until he’s in front of you, cupping your face.
“Hey. Don’t pout. I’ll be back next week. And I won’t be restraining myself anymore or busy training Tae. Which means more dates and more chances to completely ruin you.” You raise an eyebrow at him through your squished face in his palms. 
“Are you sure I’m not just a sex object to you?” You watch his expression fall into one about to panic and shake your head. “Kookie, I’m kidding. You’re in the middle of abstaining, so all you can think about right now is sex. It makes sense. I’ll gladly be your sex object next week.”
“You’re not my sex obj-“
“You’ll text me, yeah? Doesn’t have to be constant. Just, like, when you land or get to the hotel. I don’t know. Just so, like, if you die, I’ll know where to tell the investigators to start looking for the murderer.” 
He grins something like a jester, full of mischief. “Baby…are you saying you’re going to miss me?” His large hands grab the two waters from you, placing them on the table next to you.
“No…” Your eyes dart between his. There’s a certain sparkle mixed into the gorgeous dark brown that you’re just now noticing and want to get lost in. You want to see them in the sunlight. “Okay, maybe.” 
His tattooed hand grabs yours, intertwining your fingers before bringing them up to his lips and giving the back of your hand a kiss. Tucking your hand between his pecs, he lowers his head to level with yours for better eye contact. 
“I promise to text you at the bare minimum of three times a day.”
“You don’t have to do three a da-”
“Three times a day. In return for at least one from you.”
You nod in agreement, mumbling out okay. He breaks your hands apart, offering you his pinky and you wrap your own pinky around his, thumbs from both hands meeting up to press against one another. 
“There. Now it’s legal. At least one a day, baby. Okay?” 
“Okay. You act like I’m going to ghost you…”
“No, you won’t ghost me. I know where you live. But what I fear is you getting in that pretty big brain of yours and overthinking every single moment.” Your mouth drops open in offense and you glare at him.
“Rude.” He’s right though, but he doesn’t need to know that. He just laughs, leaning in to kiss your cheek. 
“I gotta go pack and then head to the gym before getting on my flight. You’ll be good for me, yeah?” 
You nod and he gives you one final kiss before leaving your apartment. You can hear his front door open and close and him running around the place trying to pack as fast as possible. Sitting back down on the couch, you hate yourself because you’re actually moping over a guy. Moping? You? Over a guy? Since when?
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Monday was easy to forget about Jungkook being away for a week. It was your first official day at the record shop and you were with Namjoon and Jimin. It wasn’t a very difficult job to learn. You got the hang of it pretty fast, so that by the time the two guys left and were replaced by Jeongyeon and Felix, you felt like working there was second nature. The moment Jeongyeon saw you, she squealed, pulling you to the back room and locking the door. 
“Who took you home? Was it neighbor man? What happened all weekend? Tell me everything!”
You laugh, filling her in on him picking you up from the bar, the speed date, the real date. You skimmed over him helping you masturbate and eating you out on the kitchen counter. You told her about the match and the week apart and her eyes glimmered that same look of mischief Jungkook’s had the day prior. 
“Gonna send him something spicy?”
You stare at her.
“Not like a full nude, because you obviously aren’t there yet. But like, sexy lingerie or something just to tease him with.”
“Nooooo. No no. I don’t do those types of photos.”
“Why the hell not?! You’ve got the curves. And you’ve got a man who literally can’t get off until Sunday. How much fun would it be to tease him?” You shake your head. 
“No. I…I can’t do that.” You sigh, shrugging your shoulders. “Anyway. What happened with you and Jimin?” 
Her face reddens and she shrinks in on herself. 
“We made out…”
“I saw that at the bar. What else?”
“He didn’t want to do anything while we were drunk. Which I appreciate. But fuck, I wish for once he’d just do what he wanted. I’m dying over here.” You both laugh, stopping immediately when the door handle jiggles. You unlock it and Felix pokes his head past the door, sending a look to Jeongyeon. 
“Soooo. You gonna come work or am I soloing it tonight?”
“Not sure. What happened Friday night? Did you solo it there too or was it a threesome?” She clips back and you gasp. 
“Oh I forgot about that! What the hell happened after you left with them, Felix?!” 
You both watch as Felix’s entire face turns red. It almost looks like he’s sweating too. 
“Just hurry up.” He snaps at Jeongyeon as he turns away and stomps off. 
“Oh yeah. He absolutely had a threesome. I’m so proud.” Jeongyeon cackles, pretending to wipe a tear from her eye. She turns back to you. 
“Okay. Go home. Put on something sexy. Send neighbor man something risqué and drive him crazy. You got this.” 
You groan as she drags you out of the back room. You grab your stuff and make the split second decision to go to the mall instead of your apartment. You’re just going to look at the lingerie.
You come home with three new sets. You hate Jeongyeon and her enabling ways and you loathe the sales associates for their selling skills. You leave the bag on the counter and leave it be until you feel confident enough to look at your impulse purchases. 
You spend the rest of the evening on the couch, Netflix in the background with a homemade margarita in hand, looking over the texts Jungkook sent throughout the day. 
🎤Jungkook🎤(1:28pm): Landed this morning. Our hotel is cool. So’s the view.
🎤Jungkook🎤(1:31pm): *sent two photos*
The first is the hotel room. It looks pretty big and the bed looks like a king size bed, which looks way more comfortable than your bed. The second photo is of the view, a wide view of the entire city. He must be pretty high up to be able to see that far away. You try figuring out where he is based on the photo alone, but stop yourself, feeling like if you find out, you might end up actually going to the hotel to be with him. Stop thinking things like that. You don’t need to be around him all the time.
🎤Jungkook🎤(6:42pm): Trained all day. Feel like dying. 
🎤Jungkook🎤(6:43pm): Tae doesn’t hate you btw. He hates my ringtone too.
🎤Jungkook🎤(6:43pm): I think it’s fire. You’re both crazy.
🎤Jungkook🎤(6:50pm): We’re getting dinner and then I’m passing out. I’ll text you tomorrow.
🎤Jungkook🎤(8:31pm): I miss you baby 🥺
You laugh at his sporadic updates, trying not to acknowledge the fluttering you feel inside at the last message. Instead, you stick to your promise of at least one a day. 
You(8:59pm): First day at the record shop was fun. There were no issues and I think I’ve got the hang of it already. Went to the mall. Bought some stuff you might enjoy. Idk. 👙
You press send and set your phone down to finish off the margarita and settle in on the couch, hugging one of the blankets from Jungkook’s apartment that he left on your bed close to you. Your phone buzzes a minute later. Grabbing it, you see Jungkook trying to facetime you. You smirk, putting the phone back down and ignoring the call. You promised at least one a day and you are a bare minimum kind of girl. He can wait. 
He calls two more times before sending a slew of texts.
🎤Jungkook🎤(9:04pm): Answer the call, y/n.
🎤Jungkook🎤(9:04pm): You can’t do that.
🎤Jungkook🎤(9:05pm): You can’t say you bought something, send that emoji, and then not answer.
🎤Jungkook🎤(9:06pm): Sparkles answer the phone.
🎤Jungkook🎤(9:10pm): Baby?
You leave each message on read, giggling the entire time. You do feel bad, but it’s very little compared to how much you love teasing him. You figure he’ll get rewarded for his suffering tomorrow. You’re too comfy now and have no desire to be on the phone this late. 
Next day is pretty much copy and paste, Except this time you open with Jeongyeon and Felix. It’s a little more chaotic. Mainly because of Jeongyeon’s chaotic energy and trying to get you and Felix to fully open up to her. Felix still won’t talk about what he did with Chris and Yuna and you can see how much it’s killing her not to know.
Jungkook sent brief updates on stuff happening today. More training for Taehyung. Interviews and press related things that sounded like hell. And his last text was a picture of dinner that looked quite sad since Taehyung was on a strict diet, therefore Jungkook was too. 
That night, you break out one of the sets from yesterday. You put on the one you felt most confident in. A black lacy bra with a lace hemline going around to the back. There’s an extra piece of a lace strap pulling down from either shoulder to the bottom middle of the bra to really make your breasts stand out. The underwear is of the same detail and fabric, but there’s no back, just two straps that connect across your upper thighs. You move the full standing mirror to be in front of your bed and take, you assume, hundreds of photos.
You finally land on two. One really emphasizing on your “divine breasts” as you both jokingly called them what feels like a lifetime ago. And the other with your back turned to the camera, ass resting on your feet as you point your camera at the mirror. You can just make out a cheeky smile on your face and you have a feeling that if he’s able to look at anything other than your ass, it’ll be that smile that tortures him. 
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Jungkook finally walks into his hotel room, exhausted from the day. The fight isn’t until Saturday, but there’s already so much press around Taehyung’s match. He’s exhausted. He’s hungry. He wants you in this stupid giant bed. Not even for sex, though he’s never going to deny wanting that. He just wants you near him. You feel comfortable and safe. Like if he had his arms around you, all his stress would dissolve immediately. 
He tosses his stuff on the table by the window and falls back onto the bed. He should shower, brush his teeth, wash his face, everything else, but he just wants to sleep. He’s on the edge of falling asleep when his phone dings a specific notification sound. He shoots up, grabbing the phone. It’s you. He knows it’s you, he made your text tone a specific sound so he’d know to never ignore it.
His lock screen greets him with a notification.
✨Baby (10:54PM):  *sent two images* Sorry about yesterday. We did promise I would send at least one a day and I’m a bare minimum kind of girl. 🍑
He can barely make out what they are from the tiny notification. But when he opens the message, he nearly drops his phone. No no no no. Fuuuuuuuck. Why? His other hand flies to his crotch to immediately put pressure against his stirring erection. You better fucking answer this time. 
You don’t. He calls three more times. Nothing. On the last call he lets it go to voicemail, laying down, removing himself from his pants and briefs, and putting the phone on speaker next to his head.
“Baby, why won’t you answer the phone? Don’t you know how much torture this is? You send me those photos, yet deprive me of hearing your voice? Make me imagine what you’d sound like coming around my fingers while wearing that?” He groans, wrapping one hand around the base of his cock while the other stokes the head, edging himself the same way he did in your shower. 
“You’re going to be in so much fucking trouble when I see you on Sunday, baby. And you better be fucking wearing that and have all your toys ready to be used and your vibrators charged. Everything, baby. I’m going to fucking ruin that pussy and your ass, I swear. You’ll only want my cock after I’m done with you.” 
He’s not even sure what he’s saying anymore, too focused on bringing himself to the tipping point. He performs the same makeshift cock ring trick he’s done so many times now and stops himself from coming, crying out a groan towards the phone. 
“You better be fucking ready.” He grunts as he hangs up the phone. 
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You’re changed back into your pajamas when you finally check your phone, having left it on silent and in a different room knowing full well he’d call again. You weren’t expecting a voicemail. And you surely weren’t expecting that kind of voicemail. The temptation to call him back was too strong. Instead you popped in your airpods, brought out the vibrator he fucked you with, and spent the rest of the night getting off to him edging himself and his threats that you’re positive are anything but empty. 
Wednesday you decide not to tease him. Instead you send him two texts. One talking about your day and the other of you, Jeongyeon and Felix at work. You noted that Jeongyeon was the one that suggested the speed dating idea. He asked you to thank her. 
Thursday, it suddenly hits you that you haven’t seen him since Sunday and you’re actually sad about it. You genuinely miss him and you’re not sure what to do about it. Yesterday, Jeongyeon and Jimin had suggested going to wherever the match was and surprising him, confessing your affection like a KDrama. Felix said that was too much and you should wait until he’s back. It’s not until a guy comes into the store, very openly flirting with you, mistaking your customer service personality for flirting back, that you use the term you’ve always feared when Jungkook asked you out. 
“Oh. Sorry, I have a boyfriend…he’s a boxer.” Partially true, partially false. But this guy doesn’t need to know that. Once the guy leaves, Jeongyeon is on top of you, squealing. 
“BOYFRIEND?!” She yells obnoxiously and you’re smiling, still in disbelief you actually said the word out loud. “Girl, there is no fucking way you don’t fly out to that match tomorrow and tell him. You’ll chicken out Sunday and you know it.” She’s not wrong.
“But… I don’t know where it is. He didn’t tell me. Not to mention he didn’t want me there.”
“That was a lie and you know it, y/n. You don’t work tomorrow. GO. Operation: Get our men is still in effect.”
When you get home, you read over the various texts from Jungkook. They’re short and it’s very clear he’s busy. There’s no funny quips. No photos. Just the bare minimum of three texts and that’s it. 
You throw on the second outfit you bought. This one is a little less risqué. Mesh instead of lace and more straps. You sit on the bed normally, leaning back on one hand, taking a single photo, sending it off with three words you didn’t expect to say to him any time soon. 
I miss you. 💜
Once again, he calls and you don’t answer. Not to be a tease this time, you just don’t want to talk about what you just sent. That conversation you suddenly crave having is not one to do on the phone. You need to see him and it can’t be Sunday. It has to be as soon as possible. After three calls, he stops. Doesn’t send any texts after either. 
You go on Instagram and see if you can find any information about the match. It’s in a city that’s about a 2 hour flight away. You find Taehyung’s instagram and he’s dumb enough to have his DM’s open.
Y/n: Hey. This is a bit awkward. I’m y/n. I’m Jungkook’s “friend”? The girl he’s seeing? Idk how to label it to be honest. Please don’t tell him about me sending this. I was hoping to surprise him tomorrow night or before the game? Unless you guys are really busy or against that idea. I’m a bit lost. I just miss him?
Christ alive, y/n. Twice in an hour!? What are you going to say next? That you love him?
Twenty minutes later you get a response.
TaeV: Ah, yeah! The girl that answers other people’s phones and yells at them.
Y/n: Again. I am so sorry. I had just woken up to that god awful ringtone and I couldn’t murder a sleeping man. 
TaeV: No worries, love. He told me. I want to murder him every time that ringtone goes off as well. It’s horrid. 
TaeV: As for visiting. You are more than welcome to come.
You spend the rest of the night planning things out with Taehyung. The hotel, the flight information, getting a hold of a ticket for the match. Ways to make sure Jungkook doesn’t see you or know about you being there until the right moment. Everything. You apologize again for being rude to him on the phone and say thank you more times than you can count. 
You barely sleep. Too busy packing a bag. You know it’s excessive to bring checked luggage on such a short trip. But there is no way you were going through security with a box full of toys in your carry on. You neatly fold the last lingerie set you bought and tuck it in a corner. This suitcase looks ridiculous. Lingerie, two normal outfits, and sex toys. 
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The flight out is a little after midday and you don’t land until the evening, where you’re picked up by a private driver who brings you to the hotel Taehyung and Jungkook are staying at. You quietly wait in the lobby until Taehyung exits the elevator, greeting you with a boxy grin full of mischief. 
“There’s the girl I’ve been waiting to finally meet!” He wraps both arms around you and hugs you tightly. He’s nowhere near as muscular as Jungkook but somehow is just as strong. 
“Nice to finally meet you, too!” You offer a smile but it’s a little weary, anxiety of the plan failing painted across your face.
“Don’t worry. He fell asleep while watching the discovery channel. He’s very bored. Come on. You’re staying in one of the private suites. So you need a fancy key to use on the elevator.”
He starts walking over to reception, and you stumble over yourself following behind.
“Suite? I can’t afford a suite, Taehyung. I can barely afford the janitor’s closet here. I thought I was staying somewhere else?” He ignores you as he finishes checking you in under a false name, grabbing two keycards from the receptionist. He turns back to you to usher you towards the elevator.
“First of all, call me Tae. Second, why do you think you got dropped off here? Of course you’re staying here. I’ll text you when we leave in the morning and that’s how he avoids seeing you until later. Also, it’s my treat.” He grins, grabbing your suitcase and pulling it into the elevator. He scans the keycard against a black box above the long list of floors. One of the higher numbers lights up, indicating that’s where you’re headed.
“Tae, you really don’t have to-”
“He really likes you, you know?” He interrupts, fidgeting with the cards. “Like…he really likes you. Borderline loves you, maybe. His words, not mine. I’m sure he told you about the concussions? Did he tell you who gave him the career ending one?” You shake your head and he grimaces.
“Me. I…I didn’t mean to? I wasn’t even aiming for his skull. It was a huge fluke and next thing I know he’s down on the ground almost unconscious. I visited him in the hospital to apologize and we kind of became friends from then on? After he retired, I convinced him he could still train, and I was dropped by my trainer because I lost all my matches after the one with Jungkook. So he became mine. And I’ve been winning because of him.”
You stay silent. The elevator doors open and he grabs your suitcase, walking you to one of the suites and tapping the same keycard against another black box on the door, unlocking it. You quietly follow inside. 
The room is huge. Or rather, the rooms are huge. There’s a kitchen, a small main room, a bedroom, and a full bathroom. He parks your suitcase in the bedroom and finds you still in the main room, sitting on the arm of the couch, looking around. He takes a deep breath.
“Like I said. He really likes you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him fully smile in the time I’ve known him. So if you make him this happy, then you’re worth the entire world, and it’d be a crime to not help you two be together.”
You want to cry; you feel the tears right there at the edge. There’s a sniffle, but it’s not from you. You look up at him and he’s openly crying in front of you. You quickly get up and pull him into a tight hug. His arms wrap around your shoulders and he continues to cry.
“Please don’t break his heart.” He stammers out and that’s all that needs to be said for you to shed a few tears as well. 
“I won’t. I promise.” You whisper as you both pull away, wiping your own tears off your face. 
Once you both compose yourselves again, he hands you both keycards.
“Why two?”
He raises one eyebrow at you, winking. “Why do you think? I assume you’re going to get freaky, hence the suite. I’m saving everyone from hearing you both screaming. Feel free to use the room service and the spa services. All on me.”
Your mouth drops and he laughs. “Have a great night, Sparkles. I’ll text you when we leave tomorrow on how to get in and such.” He doesn’t wait for a response, just skips out the door, finally allowing you to explore the suite. 
The bathroom is bigger than your kitchen. A walk in shower, a jacuzzi tub, two sinks and an insanely large mirror. The kitchen is slightly smaller but has all the fixings of a kitchen. You won’t be using it anyway. The bed is the same as the one in Jungkook’s photo. A king sized bed with the softest looking bedding. 
You order dinner through the room service, making a mental note of the price to pay Taehyung back, and watch TV in the main area. Jungkook texted you his three promised texts throughout the day, not really saying much. You wanted to just go down to his hotel room and knock on his door, but you knew you couldn’t. Instead, you got ready for bed, crawled in under the covers, and pressed Call. 
“Baby?”
“Hi…”
“Hey.” You hear a small chuckle, making you smile. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just a long day today. Hoping this counts as my one text.”
“Oh it counts.” Another laugh. You let out a smaller laugh, ending in a sigh. “Why do you sound so sad, baby?” You shrug, as if he can see you and cower further under the covers. 
“I’m not sad. I’m happy, I promise. I just miss you. I didn’t want to wait until Sunday to talk to you…to hear your voice…” There’s a long pause followed by a sigh on the other end.
“Baby. Do you have an idea what that’s doing to my heart right now? If you miss me, why haven’t you answered a single call? Why only one text a day?”
“I don’t want to talk about it over the phone…”
“Then FaceTime me.”
“That’s still over the phone. I…I’m trying to wait. It’s a serious conversation and serious conversations should be in person. I just called because I wanted to hear your voice and say I miss you, okay?” You sound slightly irritated, but you hope it doesn’t come off that way. Tears are also falling again but that’s unimportant. 
“Okay. Fine. We can talk the second I land, okay?” You hum in agreement. “Is there anything else, baby?”
“No…”
“As much as I want to stay on the phone with you, I have to be up early to train with Tae before the fight. So I’m going to have to go, okay?”
“Okay. Goodnight, Kookie.” You can hear his cheesy grin over the phone.
“Goodnight, Sparkles.” You both hang up and sleep quickly overtakes you.
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You sleep in just a little later than planned, though it doesn’t matter much since the match isn’t until 7pm.
You spend the entire day getting ready for tonight, giving yourself a spa day to ensure every inch of your skin is soft, muscles relaxed, and mind cleared. Taehyung finally texts you around 4pm that they’re at the venue. You give yourself the preplanned one hour to get dressed into your tightest ripped skinny jeans, a bra that does fantastic things for you, a tight, form fitting shirt, and some combat boots. Jungkook did text you already saying he was heading over to the venue. You had responded with a good luck gif and a bunch of hearts and ordered an Uber.
You get dropped off at the back of the venue, a man already waiting for you. He ushers you inside and leads you to a training room that is mostly empty, save for a training mat, a few chairs, and some workout equipment you couldn’t name if you tried. Jungkook is holding his hands up, counting in a rhythm as Taehyung punches along with the rhythm. You’re honestly a bit clueless as to what’s happening, too focused on the tattooed man that has his back to you. Taehyung glances at you briefly, causing him to miss a punch. Jungkook lets out a groan of frustration, walking further away from you to grab his water. Taehyung just smiles at you and winks. This man is a flirt, you guess, a dangerous one at that. 
“You can’t miss a punch like that, Tae! Come on, let’s do it again.” He shakes out his hands, head down as he walks back to where they were previously. Taehyung stares at him before shaking his head. 
“Nah. I’m actually feeling pretty good about tonight. I’m going to get ready. Besides, you have a guest.” His boxy grin returns as Jungkook lifts his head up to follow his friend’s line of sight, landing directly on you. “See ya, buddy. Remember 6:30.” He pats the dumbfounded boy on the shoulder and walks past you, whispering “Get him, Sparkles.” You suppress the laugh behind your smile and nod as he leaves you both alone, closing the door on his way out. 
Jungkook is still frozen, so you take it upon yourself to approach him slowly.
“Surprise?” You cautiously raise your hands up like jazz hands. 
“I’ll fuckin’ say. I thought I said I didn’t want you to come.”
That hurt. “Oh…I didn’t think…I thought…Tae said…”
“Tae said? You’re friends with Tae? Since when?” 
“Uhh…Thursday night? I asked him about surprising you…he said you’d be excited. But you’re clearly not…”
“I am…fuck, I am, baby. But…I meant it when I said you’d be a distraction. Especially in that.” He gestures to your outfit. 
“What’s wrong with my outfit?” You pout, spinning around so he’d get a full view of every curve on you. “I thought it was cute. I don’t really know what one wears to a boxing match and this was so last minute, I didn’t have time to look it up-”
Two hands are on your face, a pair of lips pressed against yours to shut you up. You smile, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, running your fingers through his hair, tugging when his hands leave your face, dropping straight to your thighs as he lifts you up without breaking the kiss. He moves quickly, bringing you to the closest wall and pinning you there, tongue sliding along your lips as you open up to him and allow him to devour you.
“There is absolutely nothing fucking wrong with your outfit, baby.” 
His voice has dropped an octave and his words rumble through his chest and against your neck as he bites down. 
“What’s wrong is that I have to focus on helping Tae win.” He rolls his hips into you, licking across your neck, tilting your head back as he breathes against the center of your throat. “Now all I can think about is ripping this perfect outfit off of you and pounding into you so hard that you can’t walk for a fucking week.” His hands roughly slide up your thighs, violently gripping the meat of your ass in your jeans. You mewl, pulling his hair back to pull his mouth off of you. 
“Wait wait wait. You have to wait.”
The voice he makes reminds you of a predator about to rip apart its prey.
“No. No more waiting.”
He tightens his hold on you, bringing you to the training mat and laying you down, hovering over you, keeping himself up with hands on either side of your head. 
“I need you. I need to be in you. Now, baby. Say I can. Please.” He’s begging against your lips as he staggers his thrusts against your pelvis. You shake your head.
“No no no, Kookie. Stop. We need to talk first.” 
“Please.” He’s desperate and frustrated. 
“No.” You harden your voice and his hips freeze. He moves to get off you, but you just hold him in place. 
“I didn’t say move. I said wait.” You breathe out a laugh at the look of horny confusion on his face. “Let me say what I flew out here to say and then we can go from there, okay?” He tentatively nods and you take a deep breath, eyes darting between his.
“Jungkook. You are insane. You sing karaoke in the middle of the night on weekdays and walk around in annoying towels, taunting me. You have literally the worst ringtone in the universe. And you like to torture yourself by not coming. You’re possessive. You prefer beer over whiskey. And you’d rather see the future than revisit the past. But you eat just as much as I do and don’t judge me for it. You prefer night over day. Movies over books. You let me make Little Mermaid puns before sex. And most importantly, for some weird reason, you like me.” You both laugh. He wants to interrupt, but he lets you continue. 
“The other day, a customer flirted with me.” You see his jaw clench, but ignore it. “It was super awkward. But when he asked me out, wanna know what I said?”
“Better have been to fuck off,” he huffs.
“Better. I told him I had a boyfriend. And that he was a boxer. He didn’t need to know that you used to be, because frankly that’s not his business. But in that split moment of telling that guy that, Jungkook…it finally hit me. I don’t just miss you, I like you. Borderline love you, maybe.” His eyes meet yours and narrow at that last sentence, a smile still plastered on his face. 
“You talked to Tae, didn’t you?” 
“Besides the point.” You wave a hand. “The point is, Jungkook. If you’re still down for it, and judging from what’s going on down below, you are, I think I’d like to give this relationship thing a try. I want to call you mine, and I'll be yours for real…” You cradle his face in your hands, waiting for an answer. He’s silent for just a moment, but it feels longer.
“My baby? My Sparkles? My y/n?” He’s grinning ear to ear, you can feel it under your palms. You nod your head, bringing his face closer to yours.
“My Kookie. My Attractive Pajama Man. My Jungkook.” You whisper before your lips meet his.
And it’s right back to where you left off. His hips are right back rutting against you while your hands leave his face, reaching under the waistband of his shorts to grab his swollen cock. You’re only able to give two strokes before a guttural groan escapes his lips.
“No, I can’t. Not yet. After the match. After the match, I'm all yours, baby.” You let go of him and sigh.
“Show me, then.”
“What?”
“Show me how you edge yourself. How you did it when you left me the voicemail. I want to see.”
“No, baby. I can’t if you’re here.”
“You did it in my apartment. Twice, I think. Maybe more than I know?”
“It’s different.” He grumbles and you pout, quickly moving to flip you both over. You scoot back so you’re sitting closer to his knees. 
“Show me.” You cross your arms, looking up at the clock on the wall. “You have 10 minutes before Tae comes back in here. Show me.” He actually whines at your demand, cautiously pulling his painful erection out, and begins going through the same motions he’s done before. 
“I don’t think I can do it, baby. I’m going to come.”
“Don’t. Tell me when you’re just about there. When you can feel the sharp burning pain inside you, desperate to explode. When your breath is so shallow, you’re not even sure it’s there anymore. When your vision starts to go fuzzy and your hearing goes in and out. Tell me.” Your speech is very reminiscent of the speech he gave you on your second night together all those weeks ago.
“I’m th-there. I’m there.” His eyes are shut, his teeth ripping into his bottom lip. It’s so fucking hot.
“Stop it, Jungkook. Don’t come. Stop yourself right now.” You’re trying to sound dominant. But you gave up on that possibility with him a long time ago, though maybe now that you were together, he’d be up to trying a few things. 
You watch his hands work on autopilot as one wraps around the base and the other roughly squeezes his balls. The deep groan he lets out is carnal as he arches his back and you watch his grip tighten for a second before he collapses back down. Just a smear of precum leaking from his tip. 
“Jesus fucking christ, Kookie.” You’re panting as if you’re the one who was just denied an orgasm.
“I’m never doing that again.” He grumbles, slowly tucking himself back into his shorts.
“What? Edging in front of me?”
“No. Going two weeks without fucking you. That was fucking torture. You’re heading straight to my hotel room when this is done, understand?” You shake your head, getting up to find your purse that you tossed aside when he picked you up. He slowly gets up, watching your every move.
“Nope. You’ll be coming to my hotel room when this is done. Understand?” You mimic as you hand him the other keycard Taehyung gave you. 
“And Kookie?” You wait for him to look up from the keycard. “I brought the toys.” You grin as his mouth drops, eyes dark and full of lust. “But don’t think about coming to my room if Tae loses.” You pop open the door and walk out, leaving him behind, and heading in what you hope is the right direction to where your seat should be. 
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If someone asked you what happened during the match that you were in the second row for, you wouldn’t be able to tell them a damn thing. You don’t remember the score, or if that’s even a thing in boxing. You don’t even remember if Taehyung got knocked down at any point. What you do know is his trainer was so focused on making sure he won, that he didn’t even spare you a quick glance. And you loved it. You loved watching him in his element. He was confident, powerful, and so sexy. 
The bell rang, signifying the winner, and you finally looked at the ring to see Taehyung’s arm being lifted and a belt being handed to him. You stood up, cheering for him for the first time tonight. A moment later, your eyes finally locked with Jungkook’s and the unspoken conversation there made you book it from the venue immediately. 
It took 20 minutes to get back to the hotel. Two to get inside the lobby, go up the elevator, and enter the suite. You quickly bring out the box, setting it on the foot of the bed and removing the butt plug Jungkook had admired, and head straight for the bathroom. You clean up, take off your makeup, and prepare your tight hole before inserting the buttplug. 
You change into the last set you bought. A wired basque with so many straps, you didn’t even know where to begin with putting it on. There are no cups for your breasts, just about six straps of varying sizes that somehow not only keep the girls up, but make them look absolutely fantastic. It came with a matching thong and thigh-high tights to clip the garter clips to. You bought some black heels to complete the look, knowing full well you’d take them off within 2 minutes. 
You turn off most of the lights, leaving just the bathroom one on so when you take a picture in front of the mirror by the closet, the photo is dark and the only light is what’s reflecting off the little metal clasps on your many straps. You send the photo to Jungkook, knowing full well he’s in one of many post-match interviews and simply add the word Hurry and hit send. 
After sitting around in the main area, all lights back on, you hear a beep at the door. 
Finally and Oh fuck are the only two thoughts crossing your mind. You stand up, clenching around the toy currently in your backside and lean against the back of the couch as he enters the suite. He had to dress moderately professional for the post-match interviews and he hated it. He kicks off his shoes as he looks around the room like a kid in a candy store looking for a specific candy, that specific candy being you. 
His eyes land on your body first, your breasts to be more specific. His eyes roam over every inch of your body at least three times, taking it all in. The black, the straps in all the right places, the tights, you. His eyes flit up to yours and he reaches for his belt. 
“Tell me the underwear isn’t attached.” You smirk and shake your head.
“It’s not.” His eyes don’t leave your body for a second as he removes his belt, dropping it on the floor, doing the same with his shirt. 
“Good. You’re keeping that on while I fuck you. Get the fuck in that bedroom and on that bed.”
“Sir, yes, sir.”
“Fuck, don’t say that.”
“Sorry, sir,” you quip back, turning away from him to head into the room. His eyes take in your backside, landing on the little bit of color peeking between your cheeks as you crawl on the bed. 
“What’s that?” You hum questioningly as you start turning to face him, but he grabs your hips, forcing you to still as he manhandles you. He shoves your legs apart, keeping your ass in the air, opening yourself up to him. He runs two fingers across the toy.
“When did you do this?” He presses down on it, making you moan.
“As soon as I got back from the match. So you didn’t have to prep me. So I’d be ready for you the second you walked in.” You pant in between sentences as he had started rubbing those two fingers against your clothed slit, getting your thong nice and soaked.
“Fuck, my baby did all this for me?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, moving the small piece of fabric to the side and shoving his tongue between your folds. You mewl, resisting the urge to pull yourself away from him, and instead pushing back closer to him. He trails his tongue down, flicking your clit with the tip, grinning as you buck your hips. He pulls away from you, once again taking in the view of you. Ass up, plugged up, body strapped down. It’s perfect, a dream come true. 
“Mmm, thank you for all of this, baby.” He smooths his hands over your cheeks before slapping them one by one a few times, massaging the mark he leaves after each slap. “Baby, is the plug just for fun, or can I stuff you with my cock?” 
“For whatever you want, Kookie. It’s your hole now.” You whine out, dragging the box closer to you, rummaging in it and holding out the new bottle of lube to him.
“Y/n, I told you, you’re not a sex object to-”
“Your pussy. Your hole. My cock. My balls. That’s what a relationship is, now fuck me, Jungkook.” You’re desperate and horny and your voice shows it as you shove the lube back at him.
“Are you sure, y/n? I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do.” You sigh out a groan of frustration, turning to cautiously sit in front of him. 
“Jungkook. Look at me. You still don’t know me sexually that well. If I wasn’t into it, I wouldn’t have let you thumb me the first time we had sex. Look at the box of fucking toys. I like sex, Jungkook. I like being manhandled, I like being choked, I like being degraded, but I also enjoy praise.” You list the things you’re into while momentarily laying back to remove your thong, flinging it aside and sitting back up. 
“I like when you fuck me so deep I could feel you in my stomach. I like when you play with my ass. I like when you let me lick you clean after you come in the condom. Hell, that shit you did with my toy where we both licked it clean? Didn’t know I was into that until I did it.” 
Your hands fidget with his jeans, unbuckling them and pulling them down with his underwear, allowing his very swollen and very red cock to spring out to greet you. 
“I like your cock. I like your cum. I like your body. I like you.” You lean forward to kiss the tip of his cock without laying a finger on him. “I like you enough to let you do literally whatever you want with me whenever you want and however you want. Because, Jungkook, I fucking love how I feel with you. It’s new and exciting and terrifying and euphoric and so if you want to fuck my ass, fucking fuck my ass already.” You huff, putting the lube in his hand. 
“You should’ve done that speech as your confession.” His smug grin is shortly followed by a low hiss as you lightly smack his cock. “Okay, sorry. Where are the condoms?”
You shrug. “In the box. But you don’t have to. I mean. I’m clean and I have an IUD…” He nods as you trail off.
“Okay. How about this? Butt stuff is condom, pussy time is condomless? Just for a little safety and being sanitary is good.”
You laugh. “Okay. But never call it pussy time ever again.”
“Noted, baby.” He lifts your chin and leans down to give you a chaste kiss, but you bring his lips back to yours before he can get away and deepen the kiss. You pull him with you as you lay back. Feeling his cock against your stomach. His lips leave yours to trail kisses down your throat, across your collarbones, and across the straps holding your breasts in place. He plays with the straps, moving them around and to the side, until he gets both breasts free. He doesn’t touch them, not yet at least. 
He sits up on his knees, one hand playing with different ways to tug on the straps of your harness while the other reaches for the box, finding the rabbit he fucked you with before. 
“Have you used this since, baby?” You nod and his eyes widen slightly. “When?” 
“When you left the voicemail.” He nods half-mindedly, running the tip up your center, gathering your arousal. 
“You got off to the sound of my voice?” You whimper out a yes and he teasingly enters you with just the tip. “I affect you that much, baby?” He already knows your answer, he can see it glistening on the toy. He doesn’t wait for it either as he eases the toy all the way in, giving you a second before turning it on. 
You almost scream, back arching off the bed and scrambling for something to grab, landing on one of the straps now around your breast. 
“Fuck, Kookie. Fuck me, please. Need to feel you.”
“You will, baby. But I remember someone mentioning being into DP.” His eyes flit up to yours, darting back and forth between them, waiting for an objection. You throw your head back and groan, working your hips against the toy, since he wasn’t moving it. 
“Can you get back on your knees, baby?” The way he asks is so gentle, you can’t help but oblige as he aids to keep the toy in while you move. You gather up the pillows, ready to brace against them as he leaves the toy running, gathering up what’s needed. 
He teasingly pulls the plug out, saving your moans to memory and rolling the condom on. He squeezes the lube onto your hole, spreading it around and slipping his fingers past the ring of muscles to make sure you were really stretched for him. After being able to slip in three fingers without too much effort, he adds just a little more lube, sliding it across himself as well as he lines up to you. 
“You’ll let me know if it’s too much, right, y/n?” 
“I will.”
He nods, turning the vibrator off for a moment as he slowly begins to push past the ring. Your head drops at the incredible stretch he gives and your front half slips down into your pillow pile. 
“No. Get back up, Sparkles.” Wrapping his fingers around the straps closer to your shoulder blades, and pulling you back up. He smiles as you obey, finding a better way to plant your hands to keep you up. 
Once you’re situated better, he picks up the pace a bit, rocking his hips back and forth, pressing a little bit further each time. It hurts, but the pleasure of the stretch far outweighs the pain, especially with the feeling of the vibrator still inside your pussy. 
“Baby, I’m going to let you know right now, that I am absolutely not going to last that long with you this tight.” His voice is hoarse, as he finally bottoms out in you. You groan, looking longingly at the pillows you want to hold onto.
“That’s fine. Just please fucking move.”
He whispers okay a few times before reaching down and turning the vibrator back on, letting the thrusts begin for a second and watching you for a negative reaction first. When you say nothing except a line of various curses and whines, he resumes his own thrusts into you.
The feeling is like no other. Both holes are filled literally to the brim, stretched perfectly. Both moving inside you at different paces, making you unable to focus on literally anything else. You can’t even hear the groans coming from the man causing all this pleasure. The ears on the rabbit toy flutter perfectly against your clit and you’re already so close to losing it.
“Kookie, fuck. I’m not…I’m not going to make it, much longer. I need to…I need to…please.”
Your begging causes his hips to stutter, sending him deeper into your hole and you can’t take it anymore, crying out his name as you fall apart, clenching around both him and the toy. You don’t even notice him simultaneously pulling you up with the straps to be flush against his back, pushing himself in further. His other hand on the toy, pumping it further in and out of you.
“Look down, baby. Look down now.” 
You do as he says, watching his hand fuck the toy into you while his hips remain steady. The feeling in this position is a whole other world and you let it take over you, crying out again at a vaguely familiar sharp sensation inside of you. It’s not until your vision threatens to go dark that you realize what’s happening. He brings the toy about halfway out, tilting it up, and pumping it right there for a few seconds until you feel the sharp sensation snap. You fight against the blurry vision as you watch the toy being removed and you squirting all over the bed, screaming. 
You fight against the urge to pass out in his arms. Instead, you lean back to rest your head on his shoulder, facing his neck. Your hand goes for the hand holding the toy, guiding it back inside. 
“One more. Come with me, Kookie. Please. I can do it. One more.”
He tilts your head up to him so he can lock his lips to yours. “Fucking perfect. You’re perfect. Are you sure, baby?” You nod, bringing his other hand up to your throat, and he follows your silent instruction, wrapping it around your throat and applying pressure. 
The third orgasm comes without a warning, but the walls clenching around him being the only indicator it was about to happen. 
“FUCK” is the only word in his language as he lets go out of your throat, sending you both forward. You have to brace yourself quickly as he slams his hips into yours once more and lets out the most grating and jagged groan you’ve ever heard him make. He grips your hips against his and even through the condom, you can feel he’s still coming. You manage to reach underneath yourself to turn off the vibrator, but leave it inside.
After what feels like the longest fifteen seconds of his life, his grip on you lessens and he rolls to the side, pulling out of you completely, making you wince. But you ignore it, pulling the vibrator out right after and forcing yourself to sit up and face the man laying next you, toy still in hand.
“You okay?” You run your hand across his chest, feeling his heartbeat pounding away. He just nods, trying to catch his breath. “You feel done?” He gives it a second, finally shaking his head. You grin wickedly. “Great, open your mouth.” He obliges without considering what was about to happen, not expecting you to ease the toy in his mouth. 
“Suck, Kookie. Clean it up.” You whisper it so sweetly, but there’s a darkness in your eyes that tells him if he doesn’t, there will be consequences. But it didn’t matter, who was he to deny tasting you? He relaxes his throat as you slide the toy as far back as he’ll allow, sucking along the way, until it’s cleaned up from your juices.
Fuck, that’s hot.
“My turn,” you smirk, tossing the toy aside and carefully removing the condom. There’s so much cum, you unfortunately lose some to the bedding. But the rest you lick up enthusiastically, missing the taste of him. He hisses at every pass of your tongue and you can feel his cock start stirring, waking back up for you. “Welcome back, friend. You’re not done yet.” You kiss the tip and start wrapping your lips around it when you feel your body being tugged upwards. 
“You’re not talking to my dick, baby.” A soft murmur as he pulls you onto your side against his back. 
“Why not? He’s been neglected for so long. He deserves some love.”
“No. Me. I deserve the love.” An arm snakes around your waist, holding you close.
“Mmmm…no. You did this to him. You deserve nothing.” 
“Shut up,” he laughs, twisting your head to kiss you. You leave it that way. Just kissing. But you’re aware he’s got two weeks of pent up desire in him and what just happened was maybe only good enough for a few days’ worth. So you roll your hips back, and sure enough, there he is, ready to go. The arm around your waist moves to your hip, stopping you. 
“You just came three times and squirted. You need rest.” You shake your head, lifting your leg to rest over his. You reach down, grabbing his rehardened member and guiding it towards your entrance.
“You mean you only wanted to fuck my ass? Nothing else? You don’t want to feel me, Kookie?”
“One of us is dying tonight, baby. You from overdoing it, or me from you fucking taunting me.” He sighs by your ear. “I want to come in you. Mark you inside as my own. Make you fucking mine.” His hand slides from your hip, down to your messy center, tracing patterns over your clit.
You moan into the pillow. “I’m already yours, Kookie.”
“Then let me make it official, baby. Say I can come inside and I’ll fuck you again right now.” Your hand, still wrapped around his cock, slowly strokes the head.
“Come in me, Kookie. Mark me as yours. I don’t want anyone else.” 
His voice is husky in your ear.
“Put me in, baby.” And you do. You slide him in and he fits so perfectly. You both groan at the feeling of each other without the condom. 
“God, you’re so fucking warm. And still so fucking tight. How are you so tight?” 
His hips snap roughly against yours, a burst of energy flowing through him as he lifts your leg higher for better access. 
“Your pussy was fucking made for me, baby. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of it.”
“Good,” is the only word you can get out, earning a breathy laugh from him against your ear. He moves your hair out of the way, biting down on your neck and vigorously sucking, leaving bruises and marking you repeatedly. 
“My fucking baby. So fucking gorgeous and perfect and mine.” Your mewls are silenced when a hand comes up from underneath the pillows to shove his fingers inside your mouth, prying your jaw open after a second. “Say it, baby. Say who you belong to.”
“You.”
“Say it fucking again. Louder. Tell the hotel who owns this pussy.” 
“You, Jungkook. You own this pussy. You own me, my heart, everything. You.” You cry out as he raises you both so he can slam into you at an unrelenting pace, hand leaving your mouth to wrap back around your throat.
“Come with me right fucking now, baby.”
And you do, screaming his name as he clutches your body against his to stop you from shaking too much. A second later, you feel him twitch inside you, your walls being coated in white while his teeth mark your shoulder. 
You both come down from your high, neither moving, his semi-erect dick keeping his cum inside of you. He lowers your leg back down, lets go of your throat, and leaves soft kisses over the bruises he just made. 
“You okay, baby?” You hum and nod in response, eyes closing.
“Good. We can continue after a rest, okay? Sleep for now, y/n.” You shake your head, forcing yourself to get up after slowly pulling him out of you. He’s confused, but you ignore any questions he asks, heading straight for the bathroom.
When you return, you crawl back into the position you were in previously. When he asks if you’re okay again, you mumble about not wanting a UTI. 
“Right. Forgot about that. Sorry, baby.” You hum your response, clutching the arm that’s underneath you. He smiles at the view before getting more comfortable next to you, softly singing in your ear.
Can I just stay here? Spend the rest of my days here?
You snort. “No. Don’t,” you whine. He just grins some more and carries on.
'Cause you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven for too long, for too long.
You don’t respond. Just let him carry on badly serenading you with Bruno Mars lyrics as you fall asleep.
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Thank you for reading if you did. It’d mean the world if you reblogged or let me know what you think. 💜
948 notes · View notes
yawnderu · 2 months
Note
I only have the courage to ask this because it is a good 1:30AM as I am writing this and the sleep deprivation is hitting me hard so I am sorry that you have to suffer through my ramble
Anywho, I think we should encourage more people to make COD OCs because it is so fun to see how people would interpret how their OC would react with the in game characters. I feel like most people do not one to do it due to the stigma associated with it and self inserts but OCs can be so fun
For example, I want to know more about Stray and learn everything I can but that may just be my Autism and my hyperfixation on talking about OCs I find interesting. I remember reading the post you had done for her after you reblogged it and it made me want to redo the biographies I had done for my two major COD OCs as I just loved it
We also need more trends for OCs. When I get round to posting about mine I want to try and make a trend where other creators can post ideas about skins their OC or self insert would have if they were in multiplayer since I myself love thinking of outfit designs as they can show so much of the OC's personality. Or a trend where we get to see OC voice lines if they were in the games and voice lines of them talking to other characters as I love when OCs have beef with the in game characters as it is just so fun
Since imagine if Stray and König had a matching skin set similar to how König and Horangi have a matching skin set
I just wanted to bring it up to you because you are one of the only few creators I follow that have a COD OC and I thought you may like a ramble. As you can probably tell I have a love for learning and talking about OCs, mine and others
Also for the ask game I want to know the answer to question 11 as I love hearing about OCs and their weapons especially if they customise their weapons
Have a good night wherever you are and please get some rest and I apologise about this ramble
I was literally laying in bed watching Naked and Afraid but this got me so excited that I got back on my PC to answer BHJEHBKEFKJHB
Yes yes!! I'd absolutely love to see more people creating their COD ocs, I have quite a lot of fun creating mine. OCs are definitely a lot of fun, you're basically creating a character from scratch AND you get the choice to make them look and act the way you want, as well as giving them any backgrounds and relationships you could possibly want!!
You can ask me anything about Stray!! I absolutely adore talking about my OCs, that also includes K-9, though I haven't made an official Military Personnel Profile for her yet!
AHHH yesyes!! Especially the skins would be interesting to see since the military has quite a lot of regulations, but I adore seeing characters in more casual clothes and what they'd dress like normally, little details such as masks and even weapon attachments could give them so much charisma.
Funny thing about the voice lines thing!! I was actually planning on making that for Stray since I have a professional microphone, but I got kinda lazy on creating voice lines to do the VA work HBJEFBHJ
Ahhh absolutely!! Even if it's something small, she definitely enjoys matching with König, so I can imagine her wearing a similar mask or maybe even a mask created by him because at the end of the day, they're spec ops and they need to maintain their privacy.
Question 11!!
What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it? As it is used by both the German and British military, her weapon of choice is the AWM sniper, as it has a pretty precise and effective firing range. Although with the 141 she doesn't get the chance to be a sniper much and has become more hands-on, she used to work with the AWM quite a lot back in the German military and after being recruited as a KorTac member.
You too!! Don't apologize, I absolutely adore talking about my OCs and as someone who's also autistic, this itched a special part of my brain<333
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starmonsterrr · 4 months
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[ * Ayyyy introduction post i guess??? Erm... Anyway HELLO WORLD ]
[ * With a sudden influx of people following this blog and catching me by surprise, I figured out it would be a good idea to make an intro post about myself. Fun i guess? ]
[ * Anyways, please refer to me as Io! Or Aurum. Either way works... I slightly prefer Io, though.]
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[ * Identity things? I guess? ]
[ * My pronouns are it/its and I identify as enby! ]
[ * I am also non-human, though I recognize that (to my dismay) I have the body of one. ]
[ * Further elaborating, I'm otherkin (dragon), therian (silver fox), and fictionkin (well... OCkin. And it's Io! info post link here). ]
[ * (Also tiny fun fact, I do the Undertale text box thing for fun and also as a nod to my source being the UTMV. I may not always do it but oh well, there's a 50 percent chance i may forget to do it and i don't have the guts to go back to it mid-conversation) ]
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[ * Hobbies!!!!! ]
[ * The main thing you'll see is drawings. Many drawings. I enjoy drawing a lot! I have been drawing ever since I have memory. I also occasionally compose music and write, but I have yet to post any of that in this blog... ]
[ * And I also animate! Because of the effort it takes, it is quite rare to see me posting animations. But I still do it! I have a YouTube channel dedicated to it, in fact. You can find some of my animations there. ]
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[ * Fandoms!!!! ]
[ * UTMV (Undertale Multiverse, also Undertale by extension) (my main thing tbh as in 99% of my blog is that) ]
[ * Deltarune ]
[ * Geometry Dash ]
[ * The Owl House ]
[ * Gravity Falls ]
[ * My Little Pony ]
[ * Creatures Of Sonaria ]
[ * ...More I may be forgetting ]
[ * Honestly I'm inactive in most if not all of these except Deltarune and UTMV ]
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[ * Miscellaneous things? (Extra info, tags, links, DNIs, cool looking badge thingies I find online) ]
[ * I'm Ink's wife and girlfriend (in a non-binary way if that makes any sense) for all eternity, and I post about that fairly often. ]
[ * I also enjoy being an astronomical level of cringe... And I refuse to apologize for it. In fact if you dare insult me for it, or for anything really, I will channel the hatred into more cringepower. Cringe culture is dead and I am mauling its corpse :3 (That is an AMAZING quote. Might put it as a blog title eventually) ]
[ * Tags I use (recalling from memory... May miss a few.) ]
#corv reblogs
#corv friend interactions
#corv gets an ask
#corv draws • (usually full drawings)
#corv doodles • (low-quality drawings usually made for silly reasons)
#corv rambles about lore
#corv's io • (posts about Io)
#corv's aurum • (posts about Aurum)
#the starry night (selfship) • (Ink x Io)
#corv doodle request • (doodle requests I draw)
#corv doodle request status • (status updates for when I open and close doodle requests)
[ * Stuff I'm working on ]
OuterRenaissance (Undertale AU, Outertale variant) (has an official blog! @outerrenaissance though I gotta actually get started using it.)
Some info on star-born monsters! I think.
[ * Links for things ]
[ * About Io (UTMV self-insert, sona number 1) ]
[ * About Aurum (UTMV meta ""self-insert""??? lives outside UTMV technically but still interacts with it, also sona number 2) (NEEDS MAJOR-ISH DESIGN UPDATE) ]
[ * About Therian!Ink ]
[ * My Youtube channel ]
[ * Cool looking badges/user boxes!!!!! ]
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[ * And lastly... ]
[ * Please, do NOT interact with me if you... ]
Support Israel
Are an anti-furry
Are an anti-therian/anti-otherkin/anti-fictionkin/anti-alterhuman in general really
Are queerphobic in any way (homophobic, transphobic, etcetera)
Support racism
Support cringe culture (as in harassing others over things that are """cringe""")
Support any kind of discrimination towards any group
Support ships involving characters that are minors, have a major age gap, or are closely related (ex. Parent and child, siblings, cousins,), generally ships that involve someone or something that cannot consent. Basically any problematic ship
Support real-world acts of z00ph1lia, p3d0ph1lia or any other p4r4ph1lia that endangers any living being, be that you, an animal, another person regardless of age or any other factor, etcetera.
TLDR for above: if you are a proshipper
Following the above; if you are friends with a proshipper, or overall proship-leaning neutral, you're on very thin ice.
Support AI generated content with the intent of replacing the work of artists, writers, and the like, trained using content from non-consenting creators.
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Support any kind of harassment
[ * That's pretty much it! Have a nice day! ]
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papakhan · 9 months
Note
Lol why would someone even say that. Like... idk im transmasc im personally mortified of the idea of getting pregnant but... its none of my business if another man wants to be pregnant why would there be any judgement there 😭😭😭 plus the post was very funny people need to stop projecting over a sillay little post. Have a good night king the haters dont get it
the thing is I totally understand trans guys being uncomfortable with the concept of (trans) men getting pregnant. In our society its a very gendered concept, it gets fetishised by weirdos online all the time and to a lot of (especially queer) afab people its strongly associated with control and abuse. I totally get it. That was me not so long ago but after a lot of research I became more comfortable with it because I want to have children one day. I shouldn't have to expose this part of myself as a defence against people calling me transphobic when I am literally trans and half the fight for trans people is "my body my choice"
what gets me is that the tumblr fallout community gets in this fucking argument allll the fucking time over whether the fallout universe should be "dark and gritty and ~realistic~" in regards to Everyone being transphobic Or if the wasteland should be some kind of trans haven without the binds of society. I personally lean on the latter and get a lot of comfort out of the idea that the Great Khans specifically are a bastion of trans joy and experience and to them women having dicks and men giving birth is just. normal.
the end goal for trans people should be to de-gender concepts like pregnancy and penis but we're never gonna fucking get anywhere if trans people project their dysphoria onto each other and start self-flagellating themselves whenever someone steps out of line or makes a stupid joke.
And yeah this is an overreaction to someone critising a stupid post of mine but I'm more mad at the wider culture of the fallout community (and tumblr) regarding this topic because like I said shit like this keeps happening. part of my job is about educating people about trans bodies and saying shit like "don't assume who can and can't get pregnant" and trying to help fellow trans people find comfort in a country that's actively trying to get them all murdered. To then log onto tumblr dot com and get called transphobic because I said I love headcanoning Papa as trans and him being able to deflect the Legion's misogyny because of his transness is like a slap to the face. you guys are meant to be the transgender love website what the fuck are you talking about?? Also Saying that I'm enabling transphobia by allowing people who arent trans men to reblog my post is also stupid and for the record most people in my notes right now are either trans people who are genuinely agreeing that Papa is trans or ghost fans who think I'm talking about their band (but are still trans and still agreeing).
sure maybe I should have put a trigger warning on the post or something because it might trigger someone's dyphoria, but just say that. Don't act like I'm the problem and that I'm too stupid to recognise internalised transphobia and calling me "too comfortable with joking about trans bodies" when 1. I wasn't joking About trans bodies and 2. ITS MY FUCKING BODY
My joke was about how Caesar cant handle Papa being trans. it was a joke about how society cant handle trans people who they can't clock. it was also a joke about how Papa comes from a society where transness is so normalised that he wrongfully assumes that its something everyone can do. At no point was I "nasty about trans bodies" like this person claims I was. In fact I think that pretending that I was says more about how they view trans bodies than it does about how I do, That I can mention trans pregnancy and they automatically assume I'm fetishing or being disrespectful.
anyway. that's a lot of shit. thanks for letting me ramble and tucking me into bed so sweetly <3
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wygolvillage · 5 months
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a new year's resolution
well, as of 2024 i’ve decided i will no longer be posting on tumblr... this shouldnt be the hugest surprise since ive been pretty critical of staff, the over-monetization of the website, the site culture, and the user experience for the past year and gradually reducing my time spent scrolling the ol’ dashboard- ive even mentioned my intent to eventually leave; well, that eventually is now! gradually ive found myself analyzing the effect that using tumblr for 7+ years has had on me, and the effects of social media in general.
ive never had to write a goodbye letter like this before. while ive joined and left several online platforms over the years, its always been a gradual fade in interest rather than a conscious decision to stop. never have i used a platform as long as ive used tumblr, over 1/3 of my life. ive grown up with tumblr, for better or worse. how do you write a goodbye for that? i guess ill have to try my best. because as important as tumblr was for me, ive recognized the way its hurt me too.
finding other avenues of online self-expression particularly has made me think a lot about this. when i edit my website i feel accomplished, happy, and content, feeling i have put something of myself out into the world, my seed to grow and garden to tend. when i scroll through tumblr i feel as if my brain is mostly idle, and when i do emotionally respond its often out of anger or annoyance, because anger = engagement and social media sites like tumblr WANT engagement. particularly because i have OCD ive found myself upset by certain aspects of tumblr discourse culture, as well- it is basically the Scrupulosity Website and much of the way i react to and interact with media has been colored by my years spent absorbing the viewpoints of said Scrupulosity Website! i even used to look up discourse topics on tumblr just to anger myself on purpose, which is a dangerous road to go down, to build up Enemies and Factions in your mind- this is how discourse culture works. the culture of tumblr teaches you to see the world in black and white, and to feel like youre always in danger of compromising your moral purity or being attacked by the morally impure. If You Don’t Reblog This You Are A Bad Person. even as someone who nowadays tries to stay away from discourse entirely, its still there in the back of my mind, because the way we interact on this website is colored by this. when im online i dont actually want to be angry all the time! in fact i like putting my effort towards more positive stuff. but additionally: tumblr made me unhappy but it also made me an addict
and yeah social media addiction sounds like a silly boomer thing to complain about but one thing i noticed when i started trying to curb my time spent on tumblr was that opening the site was damn near compulsive. we all know those “open tumblr, close tumblr, open tumblr again immediately after” memes but that did describe my behavior pretty accurately. the draw and allure of social media feeds is powerful, if i accidentally click the youtubes short tab ill find myself a half hour later scrolling through random shit i don't care about and asking well how the hell did i get here? i dont even like that stuff! tumblr is no different no matter how much the site tries to coast on the reputation of being the last social media that's a “remnant of the old web” and “has no algorithm”. i like my chronological dash but it is equally as addicting to scroll through the thousands of people ive followed over the years, as it is to scroll through the algorithmic feeds of youtube shorts, because that's just social media!
and kicking addiction is pretty damn hard. before 2023, i made two separate attempts at reducing my tumblr usage and both fell through within a week due to that addiction. for reference this current bought of thoughts about reducing my tumblr usage and making my online/irl balance more healthy, around the start of 2023 when i began working on my website and its taken me an entire year to wean myself off of the hellsite, bit by bit. theres a point where it stopped being a conscious act, and even as i was carefully whittling down how often i use tumblr with extensions like leechblock i still had that compulsion go off multiple times every day, its a really strange feeling. but now that ive found so many more ways to express myself online, i just feel more whole now... i guess what im saying is that when i post on tumblr my first instinct is to complain or wallow about something, when i post on my own handmade blog on my website i always want to talk about things that excite me or make me happy! and its been such a tangible change in the way i think and act and im certain its because of the way social media and tumblr have their own “societal expectations” and structure that is built to feed on this negativity loop.
and a lot of the biggest shifts happened when i began immersing myself in the ideals of the web revival, while creating my own website. finding things that genuinely interested me and niches i want to occupy made me so much happier. i know we make a lot of jokes about having mutuals we never talk to that mean the world to us and i do think that is indicative of something. like, when i post on a forum full of strangers i am engaging with more “face to face” (or the digital equivalent) communication than i do with years-long mutuals. how genuine are these connections, this dashboard, the enjoyment i got from that meme post ill forget in 10 minutes? (not to say that i don’t genuinely care abt my followers and mutuals. ykwim?) i can still get all the things i enjoy out of tumblr in a more curated form via rss feeds; ive been so much more proud of what i post and create and code on my website. what am i here for? i gradually realized that i am losing absolutely nothing when i “miss out” or block tumblr on my phone or what have you.
since starting working on my neocities site ive felt so much creative drive. ive created whole interactive essays and worlds and games and writings and so many things i could never host on social media. my website is a place of my very own, and ive been learning the value of focusing on what i put out into the net compared to what i take from it. its made me feel so much more fulfilled when i spend time online.
and let's not forget about staff. i have broader issues with how automattic in particular has gone about running the site. the ads only took up more and more of the dashboard, and every month it felt like there was some new paid feature doomed to never take off. all while the user experience gradually degraded. using the site without browser extensions to fix the ui and block the ads and tumblr live and all the other shit they threw all over the place makes it look like its ridden with viruses, and i think the fact that its become so normalized to feel like we have to stay in spaces that become increasingly hostile to us, even while the internet is so vast, is really strange (i mean, i also thought that way at first). but Anyway. so much time and effort was spent on features no one liked or wanted in some desperate attempt to get a little extra money, while staff members get in public fights with users who complain about getting monetization shoved down their throat. its so openly pathetic. the merch store had mostly mediocre designs and the digital tumblrmart is absolutely full of useless digital goods with free alternatives. considering this is a userbase that gladly donates to other sites donation drives for hosting costs (i.e. ao3, wikipedia, internet archive), i am shocked that staff never considered the obvious answer of a fucking donation drive once a year or so! the ceo telling people with concerns about the ads being unsafe for epilepsy to “just pay the ad free subscription” is one of the most disgusting things ive ever heard from someone officially representing such a platform. do not be fooled by the reputation tumblr has cultivated: all that it cares about is making money from you. tumblr is “in danger” because it can't turn a profit- because a profit is all they care about!
so why stay here when im happier elsewhere, apart from the addictive compulsion? that's what ive been thinking through for nearly a year, realizing that i have no reason to, and that weaning myself off of the addiction is in my best interest. i can create and blog and have fun online and connect with others and follow other peoples work all without the need for tumblr anymore! and i think id be all the healthier for it.
over the past year ive truly fallen in love with the internet again and ive loved putting myself out there, unrestrained in ways i havent felt since i was very young. but nonetheless ive learned a lot on tumblr, ive had some of the worst and best experiences of my online life, and i dont doubt that i would be a much different person if i had never been a tumblr user for as long as i was. but i had to break out of this shell eventually.
i keep going over this wondering how i can express every feeling in my head, how i can word everything just a little better, how i can make the perfect goodbye. but i think this will have to suffice.
you can still keep up with me online here:
-explore my website: i keep it consistently updated and im always adding new things and writing new posts on my blog! you can even speak to me directly on the site! if you sign my guestbook or use my chatbox ill try to respond :) if theres anything on this list you do id like it to be this one! i worked hard on it! you can even send me chat messages on my homepage! just keep in mind it may not display everything right on most mobile browsers, but it should be mostly navigable...
you can also subscribe to my rss feed. if you don't know what rss is, it allows you to use a feed reader to keep up with updates from sites all over the internet! my rss feed will notify you whenever ive made a new post on my blog or made an interesting edit on my site id like you to take a peek at :0 convenient, right?
you can also email me at [email protected] to message me directly. if you prefer im also “wygolvillage” on discord
thank you and happy new years :) thanks for seeing me off as i sail to a new sunrise <3
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gyarucoded · 7 months
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gimme a sec i need to talk about this !!
so i saw a long ass reblog under an anti-sylki blog that started off as something like "actually loki & sylvie has good romance chemistry meanwhile loki & mobius doesn't have any romance chemistry at all"🤓– and in this moment i went "alright best frien i'm not reading all that" then went to block instead of arguing.
didn't try reading that bullshit of a post further either just to anger myself, i know better.
i especially didn't wanna argue cuz i think that was a child..??? (assuming from the miracoulus ladybug theme cuz no adult in their right mind enjoys that trash) but if i'm wrong that just makes it worse tbh, like grown ass ppl who srsly think toxic relationships should be the example of peak romance needs their brain to be studied fr.
i usually try to be respectful for others' opinion but i genuinely can't see where this opinion comes from.
makes no goddam sense to me.
maybe it's cuz i can't view things through a heterosexual lens, maybe not.
who knows?
but...(i won't make this abt lokius but focusing more on the "loki & sylvie" part) this made me wonder like...
what do sylkie shippers even post about?
no i won't check it out myself to spare myself from the headache but do they go "omg today episode's syIkie crumbs was so lovely dovely 🥺" and the crumbs in question is them disagreeing on almost everything and sylvie wanting to avoid loki as much as she can & constantly seeming to be angry at him.
sure, in s1 they did have a couple of cutesy romantic moments like being under blankets despite of them being supposedly immune to cold or the literal kiss but, it truly doesn't take a huge analyzation to realize that this "relationship" became one sided, even in that one little moment when they had to hold hands, sylvie immidiately goes "don't overthink it" like omgggsfg💀😭 and it's also clear that loki eventually got the hint, in ep3 he doesn't try to be with her anymore or gets emotional with her, he silently gave up.
not to mention loki avoiding to mention the kiss, when appearantly the two has nothing to hide? 😕
i don't know where this is gonna be heading off but if they randomly switch up after all this character & dynamic development then i have no hope for marvel's writing team cuz that would basically create a plot hole.
like aside from the psuedo-incest, that used to bother me in season 1 era but now i am concerned more about how this "ship" overall has no appeal, yet some of these ppl genuinely thinks it can work healthily between them and that ppl who are against it are just "petty that their gay ship isn't canon" when there's MORE to this.
in season 2 there's absolutely *nothing* happening with them that would make us, the audience, root for them to be together as a couple like i'm sry.
so yeah you can say i'm doing too much and too crazy over a fictional tv show (yes i know that babes i have full self awareness) but i literally cannot stress enough about how unhealthy it is to think that this is how a good romantic chemistry works.
based on a syIkie shipper's views: we could technically say that me + that one co-worker of mine who we always have disagreements on political stuff with & dislikes me for no reason is my "lover"... since we wanna pretend this is how love works 😀😀 no?
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that-stickfig-phoenix · 6 months
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Hey. I'm Phoenix. One of Pomni and Ragatha's kids, and now also C!Caine and Pomni's kid! All of Jax's kids are my cousins, too. I have an amazing and beautiful girlfriend, and her name is @hyalos-the-glass-botanist. I'm also the adoptive father of @lilytadc, @caicey-the-caeracaprae, @soldiergoesbonkers, @the-eepy-child, @puppetboysam, @energy-drink-anon and @comfort-anon. I'm also being haunted by a ghost named Ayre (@ask-ayre-the-ghost).
(Modspeak looks like this)
*Actions and descriptions look like this*
Internal dialogue looks like this
Speech looks like this
(Lore thing going on - When text is purple, someone else is talking...)
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˗ˏˋ༻ʚ✧ɞ༺ˎˊ˗ Blog Rules ˗ˏˋ༻ʚ✧ɞ༺ˎˊ-
✧˖° RP °˖✧
☆ No NSFW
☆ Please don’t talk about (without permission):
        ✦ Suicide
        ✦ Self Harm
        ✦ Animal Death
        ✦ Animal Abuse
        ✦ Religion (Not a trigger, just a personal preference)
        ✦ Child Abuse
        ✦ Child Death
☆ DO NOT pressure me into things.
☆DO NOT try to control my OCs.
☆ NO NSFW. I may not be a minor, but that does not make it okay.
☆ Nothing hateful
✧˖° Asks °˖✧
☆ Nothing sexual. Suggestive jokes are okay if it’s not directed at the mod or a character that is a minor.
☆ Again, nothing hateful
☆ Just because you’re anonymous does not mean I cannot block you. Do not come into my inbox and spam.
☆ PLEASE don’t send me walls of text.
Blog rules design is by @rainidaz3
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Here are the people I interact with the most (Make sure to check out their blogs!):
@strawberrys-alt / Strawberry
@patchwork-the-fox / Patchwork/Mari
@showtime-in-the-carnival / C!Caine and Pomni
@the-carnival-rabbit / C!Jax
@yejehehe4746 / Cool Anon (Cool)
@littleladylav / Lav
@xxmoonduskxx / Sleepy Anon (Sleepy)
@fluffyr0cky / Fluffy
@anonymousclownn / Clown Anon (Clown)
@soft-sweet-bun / Flip!Jax (Bun)
@lilytadc / Lily
@noahhasbeensummoned / Noah
@ask-the-wurm / Clover
@codebreaker-0 / Codebreaker
@nurbo-the-dragon / Nurbo
@ask-bubble-anything / Bubble
@charlie-channel / Charlie Channel
@pastels-bedazzled-brass-knuckles / Pastel
@the-annoying-juniper / Juniper
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I'm 18 (My birthday is October 15th)
I live in the Carnival AU with my adoptive parents, @showtime-in-the-carnival I love you two (/p)
I've got bright orange eyes that actually glow slightly, meaning I can see in the dark!
My hair is also bright orange!
I'm half-abstraction! I'm immune to glitching and can glitch myself to dash forward! I can also understand binary!
I apparently have glowing wings now, so that's cool!
I have a prosthetic right arm and a pair of prosthetic wings, both made by @tinkering-doctor-tye.
I can also speak, read, and write both Nordic Runes and Greek!
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(Mod: @single-celled-autism
Tumblr family: @a-p0lythe1sm-sea-l10n (Little brother), @ask-the-rcp-crew (Nibling)
Alt: @phoenix-parentfriend-alt
PFP is by @courtjesterrr! Massive shoutout to them for the amazing art!
Voice Claim: Badgerclops from Mao Mao
When Phoenix is panicking or in grave danger, this music is what I imagine plays over the situation [Timestamp at 1:28]:
Audio file with the exact excerpt coming soon.
I live in Australia, so my blogs, answers, and reblogs will all be at an ungodly hour for many in this RP. Just a heads up.)
(Quick reminder due to past events:
Guys, there are real people behind these blogs. We may be separate from our characters, but that does not mean we cannot be affected by what people send to them.
If what you want to send conflicts with any of the boundaries set in our pinned posts, then don't send them. Those boundaries are there for a reason, and the people that don't know when to stop are the reason they are there in the first place.
Do not pin the blame on something like insomnia, autism, ADHD, bipolar, or any of that. YOU are responsible for what you send, and YOU need to know when to stop.
If you do this kind of thing on the regular, do not be surprised when people block you and tell other blogs about you so they can block you. You are actively making this site a worse place for communities like us, and you have no place in our little corner of the internet.
So either clean up your act, or you can fuck right off.
This is Mod SCA, signing off.)
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coffehbeans · 4 months
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Welcome to my Blog! Have some coffee ☕
Hello everyone! I'm Coffeh. I'm a 21-year-old Brazilian graphic designer irl, but here I share my art and stories about g/t and reblog things I like! Hope you can enjoy this silly little corner I have for myself.
If you're a nsfw blog or a vore blog, I ask you to not interact with my posts, please. I just like to filter my Tumblr experience this way. I also block empty blogs, just in case they're a bot.
MASTERPOST OF ALL MY STORIES AND CHARACTERS
Now onto the fun part! I'll divide my stories in universes and characters, with trope lists and everything. Pick any that you like, there's a little bit of everything! Hope I can make y'all fall in love with my silly little blorbos <3
Tales from Immers (Berk, Kylon and Rosemary)
Fantasy and adventure, friendship, curses, growing into a giant, intentional fearplay.
This story is going to become my first multichapter! Currently on the planning phase and ongoing. I have a few chapters out, but they'll be rewritten.
Summary: Kylon is a self-procclaimed genius who invented an airship, trying to get by in a prejudiced village with his best friend, Rosemary. One day, he ventures too far into the Imore Woods, and what he finds might involve him and his friend with the place's local legend.
Prologue
Chapter 1
Character tags: #oc: kylon #oc: rosemary #oc: berk
Royalty (Estelle and Alaric)
Friendship, royal setting, giant race, arranged marriage, platonic slow burn, hurt and comfort, unintentional fearplay.
Summary: A young princess named Estelle must live in the castle of the prince of the giants, Alaric, in order to achieve piece for the human kingdom.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Character Tags: #oc: estelle #oc: alaric
Sinking Ships (Aegir and Caytlin)
Fantasy, merfolk, fluff, friendship, bittersweet ending, angst.
Summary: A marine biologist gets stranded by the sea, and is saved by a merman in the proccess. Determined to find out more about eachother, they form an unlikely bond. But Caytlin's relentless ambition might put their friendship to the test.
Chapter 1
Character tags: #oc: caytlin #oc: aegir
Survivor (Sunflower and Juhren)
Fantasy and adventure, childhood friends, eventual romance, rekindling friendship, fantasy races, hurt and comfort, unintentional fearplay.
For now I only have a collection of short stories involving these characters, they're my oldest g/t ocs! <3
Summary: In a world where all sentient beings are magical, humans are the magicless outcasts, being hunted down and killed in some places for unknown reasons. Sunflower is a human disguised as a magical race, living peacefully in a remote village. But when the nordem, powerful giants who are in war against the Capital, attack and destroy her safe haven, Sunflower has to run away and escape her country in order to survive. But being a human in a world full of magic is dangerous, specially when there's a price on her head, and she finds herself having to rely on the very same species that made her run away in the first place. In the process, Sunflower may reencounter an old friend.
A Nest Of Memories
Enchanted
How they Met
Character tags: #oc: sunflower #oc: juhren
Out of Bounds (Ethan, Helena, Seb and Zora)
Sci-fi and drama, angst with a bittersweet ending, post-apocalyptic, utopia, growing into a giant, family bonds, friendship.
Summary: A genetic mutation starts affecting 5% of the world's population, making them grow into towering 130-feet-tall giants. Ethan Greenwood has everything in life: a loving mom, lots of friends, a promising career as a public defender, and the safety within the borders of Steelfort. But when he's diagnosed with the hyperon syndrome himself, Ethan has to struggle with the changes in his body and the loss of his perfect life. Will he be able to retain his humanity, even as it gets further away from his grasp? And will Helena, his mother, and his best friends, Zora and Seb, reach out to him, both physically and emotionally?
This is going to become a novel in the far future (hopefully). For now, I have some short stories exploring the characters and the world.
Sleepover and Snacks
Character tags: #oc: ethan #oc: zora #oc: seb #oc: helena
G/t Night Dream (Cole and Lia)
Sci-fi, dystopian, memory loss, friendship groups, romance, tiny people being oppressed, borrowers (to an extent), angst with a bittersweet ending, growing into a giant.
Summary: Humanity has known how to hide and run for over a century now. On Earth, the hyperion are the superior, evolved race, while humanity are treated as less than pests, and are killed on sight by the titans. In a hidden underground society, a human resistance tries to get by as they borrow resources from the terrifying giants. Cole has been a reliable leader of his scavenging group for a while now, and he gains the loyalty, friendship and admiration of a new member, someone he had saved from the hyperion, called Lia. But when Cole is captured and turned into one of them, Lia decides it's her turn to save him.
For now, only a few snippets of these characters' stories are avaiable.
Melancholy
Character tags: #oc: lia #oc: cole
Cordelia
(Placeholder title ashush no idea how to name her universe yet)
Fantasy, drama, tragic, sad ending, hurt and comfort, angst, monster and monster transformation, memory loss (eventual recovery).
Summary: Since the disappearance of his wife seven years ago, Edward Becker has been dealing with the toll this caused on his mental health. One night, however, she does come back, showing him that there exists a fate worse than death.
Prologue
Character tags: #oc: cordelia #oc: edward
MISCELANEOUS SHORT STORIES/PROMPT STORIES:
G/T JULY STORIES
92 PROMPTS
I mean, basically most of the stories I've tagged above are from these two bigger tags for now, with the exception of G/t July's "Element", which feature characters I'm not sure I'll write more about. But any other short story that doesn't have a definite character, I'll put in this section.
Last but not least, My Wattpad Profile, if you guys prefer that over Tumblr.
Anyway, thanks for visiting my page! Don't forget to grab a coffee when you leave☕
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yallemagne · 2 months
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This year, I'm not doing Dr*cula D*ily
Or any other substack but DD is the biggest. I have numerous reasons for this decision that none of y'all are gonna particularly care for, but ya know, just so we got our expectations in order: I'm not gonna participate in DD this year (maybe never again), I'm probably not gonna reblog many posts related to it (doing so would be counterintuitive), but I am holding myself to finishing Orice (at LEAST the base fic).
Now, why?
TL;DR: Mental health crisis brought on by internet harassment and overprioritizing social media. It's not fun anymore, folks.
DD just... it completely ruined the novel for me.
It was a nice phenomenon, but it took a wrecking ball to my mental health and self-worth. Now, I'm not saying DD's creator personally did something to spite me (or maybe I am, he knows what he did /j), but this whole thing? It wasn't good for me. It was never good. It was sometimes fun, but most of the time it made me want to end it because of thumblr notes.
That's fucking stupid. My life is not worth internet validation. My art is not worthless just because my numbers are not as big as the biggest big shots in the fandom. I'm not a horrible person when other people handle personal disagreements regarding headcanon with defaming rumours and impersonation. But hell! My view of reality was horribly skewed.
A while back, I unfollowed all the gothlit tags I previously followed because 1) Some people (active and popular members of the fandom, mind you, not bots or trolls) were posting honest-to-god name-dropping harassment in the tag because "it's a popular tag so more people will see my callout post" and 2) I reached a point where seeing anything related to the novel on my dash just set me off. It didn't even need to be drama-related anymore. Mentions of the characters, mentions of popular AUs, just the very content of this book became triggering to me, and I really didn't miss the content when it was gone, as sad as that is.
And the kicker? I've come to realize that I probably dislike more things about the novel than I actually like about it. Not only is it tied to some of my darkest moments in recent memory, but it's also just... a book with many flaws that I could go on and on and on about. Sometimes, it straight-up made me furious, like seething mad, and I think I'd rather just be happy. But even when I would try to channel that energy into being happy, I always felt I had to over-clarify or else I’d get bombarded with anonymous messages. If you’ve seen any of my posts from during that time… chances are there is a passive aggressive “btw people can have opposing opinions from you about an old book and it doesn’t give you leave to stone them” or several tags of “#this is a joke #a jooooooke #for the love of god #if y’all don’t stop”. I bet it was as annoying for y’all as it was for me.
P.S. Mutuals/friends, do not worry. Y'all keep doing y'all. I can and will block tags if seeing your posts triggers me. So, I suppose my only request is to properly tag, but I've been saying that from the very start.
I just want to move on to other things.
I took a break for Lent. I needed it terribly. And... not gonna lie? I almost didn't want to return. I never got an itching to just log on and "check in". I very successfully avoided tumb altogether. I came back because "I gotta come back eventually" and also like, this is my main hub where I update when I've written a fic, and ya know... I'm not gonna let toxic fandom bs rule my shit.
During my break, I got back into gaming. More specifically, I started playing Hades again. And listening to Epic the Musical. Aaaand boyyy did that bring me back to my Greek mythology phase. I have a Greek mythos/Hades sideblog btw: @areopagusimp. It's cringe, if you can't tell by the blog name.
Back when I was into Hades game and general Greek mythos, my expectations were so much smaller, but yet, my goals and will to create seemed so much bigger. I made art that no one gave a single solitary shit about (except for my friend), but I was happy. Maybe I'm wearing rose-tinted glasses, but... even if I wasn't as happy then as I remember being... haha at least I wasn't receiving threats and insults in my inbox back then :))). That was the most fun thing about the gothlit fandom. I hope every single chickenhearted angry anon is proud of their behaviour.
But yeah, whatever I end up doing, I’m striving to not let it run me into the ground.
But... What do I do now?
I have so many WIPs (art and writing) for the novel, and it's very disappointing that I didn't get to finish them before it all turned sour. Hopefully, I can still finish them, it just won't be with the same distress I worked with before. Hopefully, I can post that stuff and fully manage my expectations, not crash and burn when only a few people like it. Because hell! A few people liking my stuff? That's amazing, really. I shouldn't take that for granted. At the same time, I'm setting a boundary for myself. Placing my self-worth into the hands of people who I don't know, who don't know me, and who aren't even paying for the art? I need to stop that. Who the hell is that gonna serve? Absolutely no one.
My number one goal is to finish Orice. It is somehow untouched by my aversion to the novel; it is my safe space. I want to honour it and honour the longtime readers who have stuck with me. It's gonna be hard, but it's gonna be worth it for me.
This feels attention-seeking, and it kinda is. I'm not tagging the main subject and I'm not allowing reblogs because I want this to stay isolated (and hopefully prevent backlash/misunderstandings), but ya know, no matter how much I try to keep this small, I'm still posting it online. But I just feel like I needed to get this off my chest. I don't really owe everyone an explanation, but I want there to be one for my own sake... also it's much easier to generalize and make a post than contact each of my friends/mutuals on here and unload stuff onto them that I'm not sure is too personal or not.
For those of you who are reading: I love y'all. I love the good people I've met through all this mess. I want to keep the good apples, not throw out the whole harvest, alright? Dunno how much you'll care for my art when the subject is different, but... eh. If y'all are willing to try?
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loser-female · 1 year
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Hi! This is my space. If you are curious on the subject of radical feminism this post is for you.
Few things:
Kindfem (here on nice vs kind);
Bi-focused and disability/ND focused;
Anti-individualist,
Anti-black and white thinking,
Politically a socialist,
The job of a SOC Analyst.
About mental illness and excuses (one day I I'll make an actual essay about this, currently be happy with this version)
Ask policy:
I'm going to donate 5€ to a feminist organisation for every hate anon regarding me being a "terf" or something;
I'm going to donate 5€ to a DV organisation specifically for every hate anon, comment or reblog about me being in a relationship with a man
And you still won't get an answer! Ask yourself if it's worth it.
I will do my best to catalogue and keep this space organised. Most of my tags are organisational, they are placed to help myself and others finding the stuff they need to find.
1. What's radical feminism? ->Tag full of resources to explore on radical feminism.
-> here is a non-radfem article about choice feminism and why is bad.
-> another article on why choice feminism is bad, from a Black woman perspective
If you are curious about doing some feminism in your life I have the how to be a feminist tag.
2. Relationships tag -> This is compiled mostly for women who have relationship with men and want to lower their risk.
Here are my favourite non-radfem things, resources and opinions on the subject;
-> Zawn is a brilliant writer that tackle the inequalities in marriage and motherood. She is very active on substack and has a lot of resources for women in a long term relationship with men.
-> You should have asked is a comic about the mental load of work women have to do in a relationship with men.
-> She divorced me because I left dishes by the sink is a blog post made by a man for men that explains how this little non-action lead ultimately to his divorce.
-> Fair play is a method to address domestic inequality few people I know swear by.
-> Duluth model on abuse. Please read that carefully before dismissing it.
In the relationship tag there is also criticism on how this could work or not.
I now have a female separatism tag!
-> Some reflection on separatism and power
3. Tag Cloud! (hopefully)
-> self explanatory tags dedicated to these subjects.
4. How to connect to others? -> @nansheonearth her blog is full of resources of where to find others, Discord servers, how to visit womyn's land resources, IRL meetings and separatism in general. Check her out!
@rad-fem-zine with my own contributions:
-> my mom's story (medical misogyny)
-> Cybersecurity guide for cyberfems
5.My favourite essays.
-> I'm not here to make friends
-> The Ethical Prude
-> How to grow the fuck up, a guide to humans
-> The Gentrification of Disability (it explains how the neurodivergent movement is failing ADHD and autistic people, thanks to )
Also: I sometimes reblog things I don't agree with but I consider worthy of consideration regardless.
6. Still missing from this post:
Stuff over female separatism and how to practice it IRL to various degrees.
The actual tag cloud (Tumblr doesn't allow me to use js on the blog and god I'm going to beg the staff but idk)
Send me a message/ask if:
Want to know stuff about cybersecurity!
Have recommendations for this post.
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