the way people view specific disorders so differently is the strangest thing.

autism often gets infantilised.

BPD often gets romanticised.

NPD + ASPD are the ‘evil’, ‘abusive’ disorders.

the funniest part is that these disorders often co-exist so your approaches are, not only completely disgusting, but also entirely hypocritical.

we are all just people with disorders affecting the way we think, behave and respond to things. these disorders don’t make us something to be glorified or demonised and it also doesn’t make us stupid or deserving of being treated like children.

treat all mental illnesses and disorders with respect otherwise you are just fucking ableist. idc.

Neurodivergent culture, if you can call it that, especially that of autism is characterized by simplicity. A neurotypical might say "it's that time of the month", but a neurodivergent would likely say "I'm on my period." Much simpler.

"It's that time of the month" could literally mean anything: period, full moon, new moon, paycheck, therapy, rehab, piano lessons.

mood as fuck

questionnaire: do you exhibit xyz symptom?

me, panicking in my brain: well i used to but i don't anymore bc it was causing me problems of one kind or another so i have a somewhat ridiculous and excessive counter to it that i now do instinctively so i barely even realize that i have that symptom anymore

my eventual response: uh, no

One of the weird experiences as a maker type that is rather... awkward? Is when you make shit for people, spend real time designing and assembling something you think they would love, and they just throw it in a box and do not give a shit. I once recreated my ex's DJ setup in miniature, like a desk item of her speakers/table/etc. One day I walked into her office and it was just all piled up off the side, like it had been shoved out of the way at some point, with some of it broken. Like, I don't give gifts to people with the expectation of them validating the effort I put in, but it still hurt, you know? This is a weirdly common thing amongst maker types who express our love through items designed for the people we love. Every single maker I know has experienced some version of this and many of us just stop making stuff for people close to us as a result. I only make stuff for specific people nowadays, otherwise I don't bother.

Autistic burnout + untreated ADHD =

impulse control issues + inability to force yourself to do anything + drained by no ability to function

Lots of walking pass a mess unable to make yourself clean it, then blame yourself for it.

Distracted, can't focus enough to do fun things and/or take care of yourself.

Forgetting everything. So burned out you can't remember important things + made worse by ADHD.

Constant feelings of self-shame because we can't seem to make ourselves clean, remember things, focus, etc., like it's somehow our fault, even though we can't control it, and we are so burned out we just don't have the energy for anything.

Falling into bad habits that give us a little rush of dopamine because for a moment it makes us feel better.

For a moment, we might feel a little better from the dopamine rush, and get hope that maybe we will get out of autistic burnout.

Not knowing how long burnout lasts + wondering how long will it be before we can get an ADHD assessment, so the psychiatrist can prescribe us ADHD meds. Left to wait and struggle while waiting.

Untreated ADHD can make getting out of autistic burnout seem like it's something in the far out distant future, and left wondering, "When will I feel better?"

Reminder

You are NOT an asshole for not wanting to be touched (if you’re in present distress or otherwise.)

You are NOT a bad person for going nonverbal (if you’re in present distress or otherwise.)

FINALLY GETTING TESTED FOR AUDHD NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!

when the autism is being an actual mental health problem instead of making me obsess over fictional characters again:

There’s no such thing as work-life balance for neurodivergent & chronically ill people.

This is because everything in my life requires work:

maintaining friendships

keeping up with my hygiene

managing bills

making money

remembering my basic needs

sleeping regularly

outputting creatively

All requires some aspect of work for me.

And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.

If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.

If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.

You're not dysfunctional.

You're not incapable.

You're doing your best.

Non-autistics living with autistics:

They keep eating the same freaking food and it frustrates me so much! We can't have the "big scary light" on just lamps everywhere! Even when I try to find peace by doing stuff with them they just ignore me and do whatever they want. They can't even do the simplest of things like go with me to the grocery store every week! How do people expect them to survive in society??

Autistics living together:

So as long as we get my 10 packets of this really specific food, and some snacks, I'll be okay. Also is it cool if you go to the grocery store? I can clean the bathroom since thats bad sensory for you and the store is bad sensory for me. Can you turn on the lamp instead of the big light? It gives me a headache. Thanks man. Yea I'll unplug the TV for you since you can hear the high pitched noise. Do you want to do two separate things in the same room as bonding again this evening? Thats my favorite part of the day too.

Having autism is like

Having ADHD is like

Having both Autism and ADHD is like

Shout out to autistics who:

Don't know much about their special interests

Likes food commonly disliked by other autistics

Dislikes food commonly liked by other autistics

Enjoy social settings

Use sign language as their primary form of communication

Use diapers or have troubles with toileting

Like childish things or age regress

Are unable to work

Are unable to figure out their gender

Friend of mine was dealing with a therapist's office and got frustrated with their actions, wrote out a letter to them, and this was part of their reply. I'm fucking livid.

The last line shows a fundamental misunderstanding of who the people who have those things are, who we actually are as a community. The idea that someone with ADHD or ASD cannot be eloquent is fucking absurd. The absolute condescension and blatant display of medical ignore is just infuriating.

“Autistic people need special accommodations” and “autistic people should not be infantilized and talked down to” are schools of though that can and should co-exist.