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syuga-s · 2 months

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when i'm quiet on the other side, know that i'm loving you

w.c. around 12k 🤭 pairing. Namjoon x female!reader (also Jungkook & reader used to be together) genre. Smut. friends to lovers-ish, pwp, angst (bc it wouldn't be me if there wasn't angst lmao), more pwp, AND FLUFF OFC a/n. NSFW MDNI !!! curse words, alcohol mention, sexual content (fingering, unprotected vaginal penetration, oral m&f!receiving, creampie) ENJOY, let me know if I missed anything okay? <3

You couldn’t help but wonder how different things might have been if you had made a different choice that night so many months ago.

“Did you go out tonight?”

“I didn’t, you?”

“Nah, it’s way too cold tonight, lol,” “I want us to go for a drink though”

“Last week was way colder than tonight lmao”, “when?”

“Tomorrow, is that okay?”

“Yeah tomorrow works, I’m free after 5”

“Pick you up at 7 then.”

Seven moons waxed and waned, each night bearing the weight of a silent longing that lingered in the spaces between heartbeats. In the quiet of those months, the echoes of your last conversation with Jungkook reverberated like whispered secrets carried on the wind, haunting yet distant. Despite growing even closer with Namjoon, part of you remained tethered to the memories of what could have been.

You didn’t remember how this started. Until you honestly stopped to think about it, that is.

You met Namjoon through some mutual friends. Every time you went out with them, he seemed to be there. At first, you didn’t think much of him. He was a cool guy, and all your friends were in love with him, but to you, he was just Namjoon.

Your heart was set on someone else, that being one of the main reasons for your way of thinking.

You thought that Jungkook was finally out of your life. After all those months where he kept you hoping that you’d be together, you opened your eyes and understood that being with him was taking you nowhere.

It wasn’t after two years of being on and off with Jungkook that this mess started to happen. But this isn’t about him anymore. It’s what has been happening ever since.

Several months passed, and you had a trip coming up to Barcelona. Not even a day passed when you found out Namjoon and another one of your mutual friends were in the exact same city as you, at the same time.

You were with some of your college friends. You’d been here for about two days, and all your expectations from this week were below average—until that text came to you.

“I want to see you.”

As Namjoon’s text message flashed on your phone screen, a wave of mixed emotions coursed through you. Memories of seeing him at mutual gatherings, his magnetic charisma, and the undeniable chemistry you both shared suddenly flooded your mind. You couldn’t deny the thrill that his message brought. So, you agreed to meet, not really knowing what to expect.

That night in Barcelona, you and Namjoon decided to explore the city’s vibrant nightlife. The streets were alive with the energy of locals and tourists alike, and the possibilities seemed endless. As you walked through the illuminated streets, the conversation flowed effortlessly.

Namjoon turned to you with a playful glint in his eye. “Barcelona sure knows how to stay alive at night, right?”

You nodded, taking in the enchanting atmosphere. “It does, another city that never sleeps.”

That particular night in Barcelona, you and Namjoon didn’t dwell on the complexities of your dynamic. Instead, you focused on the here and now, indulging in the city’s vibrant nightlife. The streets were alive with the pulsating rhythms of music, and the possibilities for adventure seemed endless.

As you hopped from one lively club to another, the music enveloped you, and you both let loose. You danced together, swaying to the intoxicating beats with occasional laughter and shared glances that needed no words. Namjoon’s occasional hand on your waist or his deep voice softly spoken into your ear amidst the music created a sense of electric chemistry.

In the middle of it all, you reached a state of drunken bliss where the world seemed to blur, and nothing else mattered but the man in front of you. The two of you laughed uncontrollably at inside jokes that would be etched in your mind forever.

It was a night of liberation. The beauty of Barcelona’s nightlife and the intoxication of the moment allowed you to escape into a realm of pure joy.

As the night peaked, the connection between you and Namjoon became more intimate. The night transitioned seamlessly from the vibrant energy of the city to the warmth and comfort of Namjoon’s room.

As you stood on the balcony of Namjoon’s room, overlooking the twinkling city lights below, you felt the warmth of his body radiating towards you. You leaned back against the railing, your heart pounding as you looked up at him. He was so close, yet so far away.

Namjoon’s gaze locked onto you, and he could see the desire burning within your eyes. He felt his own heart quicken, his breath hitching in his throat as he moved closer to you. He reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, his touch sending shivers down your spine.

“Namjoon,” you whispered, your voice trembling with need.

He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a gentle kiss. You melted into him, your arms wrapping around his neck as you deepened the kiss. You could feel his heart pounding in time with your own, bodies pressed together in a dance as old as time.

As you broke apart, gasping for breath, Namjoon trailed his fingers down your arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. He could feel the heat radiating off your body, and he knew that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked, his voice low and husky.

You nodded, eyes shining with desire. “Yes,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. “I want this. I want you.”

Namjoon’s heart skipped a beat at your words. He leaned in again, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. His hands roamed over your body, exploring every inch of you for the first time. You couldn’t help but moan softly, your body trembling with desire.

He pulled away from the kiss, his breath coming in short gasps. “Fuck,” he whispered, his voice filled with both awe and desperation.

He guided you back to his bed. You looked up at him through hooded eyes, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. “Please,” you begged in a soft voice. “I need you.”

That was all it took to push Namjoon over the edge. He cupped your face in his hands and kissed you fiercely, pouring every ounce of pent-up desire into the kiss.

His hands moved down to the hem of your shirt, and he lifted it over your head in one swift motion, tossing it aside without a second thought. His gaze roamed your exposed skin hungrily, like a starving man who had just been presented with a feast.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his voice filled with genuine appreciation as he traced the outline of your bra with his fingertips. “You’ve always been so, so beautiful.”

You found yourselves pausing your hunger for a few minutes, basking in each other’s presence. You ended up leaning into the comfort of Namjoon’s arms. Both halted the intensity of the abrupt contact, with comfortable silences filling the gaps as you both lost yourself in the city sounds playing softly in the background. The dim light from the room cast a warm glow on Namjoon’s face, highlighting his features and making him even more irresistible.

Feeling a sudden rush of boldness, you moved closer to him, your body instinctively seeking his warmth. His eyes met yours, a silent question lingering in them. He pulled you even closer into his embrace, your bodies molding together as if they were two pieces of a puzzle.

His scent enveloped you, a mix of his cologne and something uniquely him. Your heart pounded in your chest as you felt his breath tickling the skin of your neck. His fingers traced lazy patterns on your back, causing a shiver to run down your spine. This was new, yet it felt so right.

With a soft sigh, you let your head fall back, exposing the long line of your neck. Namjoon’s lips found that sensitive skin, tracing a path down to the hollow of your throat. His fingers continued their exploration, now sliding through your thighs.

You shivered at his touch, your body begging for more. “Namjoon,” you whispered, your voice husky with desire.

He looked up at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of lust and tenderness. “Yes, y/n?”

“I want you to fuck me,” you confessed. Feeling bolder this time, you thought it was your turn to take your hands downtown. You dipped your hand into the hollow of his stomach before going down to trail kisses along the waistband of his pants. Namjoon groaned as he realized where this was headed.

Before he could protest, not that he would, you made quick work of undoing his belt to remove both it and his pants. Namjoon helped you undo them, his breath hitching as you wrapped your hand around his length. He was hard and ready, just as you were. Now fully exposed before you, he shifted uncomfortably under your gaze.

Catching onto his hesitation, you reassured him with a smile. “Don’t worry,” you said softly. “I think I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

Namjoon’s eyes softened as he reached out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ve thought about you, too,” he confessed. “You have no idea.”

With a swift motion, you stepped out of your own jeans, too, kicking them aside.

You reached behind yourself to unclasp the bra and let it fall to the floor before pulling Namjoon’s shirt over his head and discarding it as well.

Now, almost completely naked, there you stood before him, your bodies mere inches apart. Namjoon’s hands rested on your hips, pulling you closer. His thumb traced circles on your hip bone, sending waves of pleasure through you.

Namjoon’s breath hitched in his throat. A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips at the reaction you were able to elicit from him.

Time seemed to slow down as I took in the sight before me – this was real; he wanted me just as much as I wanted him now.

You went down on him and took him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip before taking him deeper. Namjoon tangled his fingers in your hair, guiding you as you moved up and down on his length. The sight of you on your knees before him, taking him so willingly, was almost too much for him to handle.

“Shit,” he grunted, his hips thrusting forward involuntarily. “I’m gonna come too soon if you keep that up.”

You pulled away with a wicked smile, pressing yourself against Namjoon’s body. He could feel how wet you were even through the fabric of your panties, and he groaned in frustration.

“Why are we still wearing these?” he asked, his voice filled with need as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties and pulled them down your legs.

Once you were both naked, Namjoon’s hand trailed downwards until it found its way between your legs. He ran a finger along your folds teasingly before slipping it inside of you.

You moaned softly at the feeling of being stretched by his finger. “I’m sure we can do more than that,” you begged in a needy voice.

Namjoon added a second finger, pumping them in and out of you at a steady pace. He curled his fingers upwards, searching for that sweet spot deep inside of you.

“God,” he groaned as he felt your walls clench around his fingers. “You’re so fucking tight.”

He continued to work his fingers inside of you until he felt your body start to shake with the first layer of your orgasm. Your back arched off the bed, and a loud moan escaped from your lips as pleasure made your body tremble.

Namjoon removed his fingers from your dripping wet core and brought them up to his mouth, sucking on them eagerly as he tasted your essence.

“You taste so good,” he said, his voice filled with genuine appreciation before moving downwards until he was positioned between your legs.

He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your inner thigh before trailing a path of kisses up toward your throbbing center. His tongue flicked out and ran along your folds teasingly before zeroing in on your clit.

You gasped at the sensation of Namjoon’s warm tongue against your sensitive bud. He circled it slowly at first, the pressure increasing with every stroke. The combination of his skilled tongue and the way his hands were gripping the flesh of your thighs was driving you absolutely wild.

“Namjoon, stop,” you moaned, the sound of his name on your lips like a prayer. “I’m gonna cum again,”

Namjoon hummed against you in response, sending vibrations coursing through your body that pushed you right to the edge. His tongue moved faster and more insistently against your clit, bringing you closer and closer to the brink of ecstasy.

With one final flick of his tongue, you shattered into a million pieces beneath him. Your body convulsed with pleasure as wave after wave of bliss washed over you.

Namjoon lapped up every drop of your release, not wanting to miss a single drop of you. Once you had come down from your high, he climbed back up the bed and pulled you into his arms.

You buried your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent as you basked in the afterglow of your passion. “You’re really good at that,” you said softly.

Namjoon pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “You taste amazing. I couldn’t help myself,” he replied, his voice filled with genuine affection. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

You looked up at him with a smile and brushed a strand of hair away from his face. There was so much more that you wanted to say, but words were unnecessary at that moment.

Instead, you let your actions speak for themselves as you pulled Namjoon closer and kissed him deeply. The taste of yourself on his lips only served to fuel the fire that was still burning between you.

As the kiss deepened, Namjoon’s hand trailed downwards once again until it found its way between your legs. He could feel how wet you still were, and a surge of desire shot through him like electricity.

He positioned himself at your entrance and looked into your eyes for confirmation before slowly pushing inside of you. You moaned softly at the feeling of being stretched around him once again, nails digging into his shoulders as he filled every inch of you.

Namjoon began to move slowly at first, savoring every sensation as he thrust in and out of your dripping wet core. With each movement, he felt himself getting lost in an ocean that only the two of you could create together.

The rhythm quickly escalated. Your hips bucked against him, meeting each thrust with one of your own. The room was filled with the sounds of the bed creaking beneath you, skin slapping against skin, and moans mingling with whispers. It felt like time had ceased to exist as the world narrowed down to just the two of you, connected in every possible way.

The pace quickened as your bodies moved in perfect sync, building towards a shared climax that was just within reach. Namjoon’s thrusts became more urgent and desperate, like a man on the edge of sanity who was about to lose himself completely.

You could feel your walls clenching around him as an overwhelming sense of pleasure began to build deep within your core. “Namjoon,” you moaned, his name like a prayer on your lips. “I’m cu-”

With one final thrust, you both went hurtling over the edge together; your bodies shuddered and shook with the force of your release.

Eventually, the bliss receded, and you found yourselves once again floating back down to reality. Namjoon collapsed beside you and pulled you into his arms, holding onto you tightly as he tried to catch his breath.

“That was...” he trailed off, searching for the right words to describe what had just happened between you.

“Really fucking hot,” you supplied with a smile.

Hours after being together, you and Namjoon shared a cozy meal on his hotel room balcony, savoring Barcelona’s cuisine. With the city’s magic still lingering in the air, you both settled into a deep conversation about your shared passion for music.

As the minutes passed, you found yourselves planning to attend several concerts together in the coming weeks and months. The anticipation of sharing those experiences added another layer of intimacy to your thing.

You both lay intertwined in each other’s arms, cuddled in the dimly lit room. Fingers traced gentle patterns on each other’s skin, and you shared soft kisses that spoke volumes in their tenderness. That night was filled with smooth, whispered conversations, with playful moments of playing with each other’s hair.

Your time with Namjoon had an electric undercurrent that couldn’t be ignored. While not a romantic undertone, it was clear that there was a magnetic attraction between you two. You shared passionate moments, intimate conversations, and nights filled with desire that went beyond being ‘just friends.’

As you returned home, you both acknowledged the nature of your connection. A “friends with benefits” arrangement that allowed you to explore your feelings without the pressure of defining a full-blown relationship. The connection was intense, yet you hesitated to leap into something more serious.

You’d meet up when schedules allowed, enjoying each other’s company in and out of the bedroom. Your feelings for Namjoon were confusing, and you knew he felt the same way, so neither of you was ready to put a label on it.

As time passed, the relationship continued to evolve. It was a constant push and pull, a dance of desire and restraint. You shared everything with him, but the commitment to a traditional relationship still felt elusive.

Your life continued to grow more complex with each passing day. Not only were you navigating this with Namjoon and what you started doing after Barcelona, but you also had a history with Jungkook, and there already was a connection between these two men.

Jungkook, your on-again, off-again for the past two years, had been a source of both love and, of course, heartache in your life. It was a tumultuous relationship, filled with moments of intense connection followed by periods of emotional distance. He kept you dancing around the idea of commitment, yet he seemed reluctant to fully embrace it.

What made the situation even more difficult was the fact that Jungkook and Namjoon were very close friends. Your social circles had overlapped, and you couldn’t help but wonder if Jungkook had any inkling of your growing connection with Namjoon.

As you delved into the ‘benefits’ dynamic with Namjoon, it added a layer of secrecy to your life.

Your feelings for Jungkook have always been intense and genuine. He was the one you had envisioned a future with, and you longed for a committed, loving relationship. But Jungkook’s reluctance to settle down left you in a state of constant disappointment. He wanted the freedom to explore other options, yet he always kept you within arm’s reach, knowing he could turn to you whenever he pleased.

This cycle was taking a toll on you, causing not only the never-ending heartbreak but also a growing sense of frustration and exhaustion. It was clear to everyone, including your mutual friends, that you were deeply in love with Jungkook, but they also saw the toll it was taking on your well-being.

Namjoon, always so observant and compassionate, saw a glimmer of an opportunity. He understood the depths of your affection for Jungkook and sensed your growing disillusionment. He didn’t plan to interfere but couldn’t help but be drawn to your unique energy and the connection you two shared.

The situation was not of your making. Both Jungkook and Namjoon actively sought you out, and you, despite your love for Jungkook, found it challenging to resist the magnetic pull of your connection with Namjoon.

Jimin’s birthday was a pivotal moment. At that time, you and Jungkook had been mad at each other, tensions simmering beneath the surface. When you arrived at the bar to celebrate, you greeted everyone but Jungkook. The air was thick with unspoken words, and the distance between you was palpable.

Feeling the need for a moment of respite, you slipped away for a cigarette break, seeking solace in the night’s breeze. During this break, you found Taehyung, one of your close friends, who helped you calm down for the night.

Eventually, the group decided to move to another bar, and the atmosphere lightened as everyone indulged in the evening. The drinks flowed, and laughter filled the air. All was good again.

As the night drew to a close, Namjoon kindly offered to drive everyone home in his car. The group piled in, and it was cramped, to say the least. Amid the chaos, you found yourself sitting in Jungkook’s lap, something that was not your choice.

It was during this car ride that Jungkook’s emotional side emerged, fueled by alcohol. He revealed that he was leaving for another country for six months, a fact he had kept hidden from you. You were blindsided by this news and felt a surge of anger and frustration. How could he not have shared this with you before?

Throughout the evening, Namjoon had been watching you closely. He observed how you barely interacted with Jungkook since your arrival and acknowledged the underlying tension. However, he couldn’t deny the surge of anger he felt when you ended up in Jungkook’s lap, even if it was out of necessity.

In the aftermath of Jimin’s birthday, Jungkook planned a farewell dinner for the group on the following Friday. The dinner was heartwarming, even in those conditions. Afterward, you all decided to go for drinks, further complicating everything.

The bar you hit up after dinner turned into a bit of a downer for you. While Jungkook was busy having a blast with everyone else, he seemed to be totally ignoring you. And then, to top it off, he started cozying up to his best friend on the dance floor – talk about a buzzkill. You tried to play it cool, but deep down, it was eating you up inside. Your head was saying, I won’t get jealous, I won’t get jealous, but he kept laughing with her and holding her close to him.

You tried to distract yourself by keeping yourself glued to Taehyung and Jimin, but it was tough to keep up with their conversation when your mind was in a whirl. Chiming in occasionally was getting more complicated, so you let a bitter laugh at the ceiling, excusing yourself to go to the bathroom for a bit, asking your friends to keep your drink safe. Staring at yourself in the mirror, trying to get rid of your pathetic, sad eyes, you felt like you were stuck in some cheesy rom-com.

You couldn’t bear yourself anymore. You knew it wasn’t the girl’s fault, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of what if something was happening between them. You began spiraling, knowing you had to leave the place.

At the risk of seeing Jungkook’s silhouette on your way back to the table, you decided it was time to make a quick exit. Grabbing your purse, you muttered to your friends, “I’ll be right back,” under the pretense of needing some air, and dashed off before anyone could stop you.

Namjoon saw the whole picture. He was aware of your every move and how quick you left the bar. He worried at the thought of your utter goodbye for the night.

In the past days leading up to tonight, Namjoon found himself wrestling with conflicting emotions. On one hand, he longed to be closer to you, to break through the walls you had built around your heart. Yet, on the other hand, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt at the thought of finding happiness in Jungkook’s absence.

When you stepped outside, the weight of the night’s events hit you like a ton of bricks. You stood there on the sidewalk, feeling lost and overwhelmed. You instantly knew it was too much to actually leave like that. Pulling out your lighter and a cigarette, you took a moment to gather your thoughts. It was one of those times when you wished to call your mom and ask her, “can you pick me up?” but I guess ‘we’re too old for that.’ The air around you wasn’t even cold, but everything felt unbearably heavy.

As you stood there, lost in your thoughts, hard to believe that the asshole you love is having the time of his life. Good for him. You kept rambling. Are you really that detestable? How could he be having the time of his life while you were left feeling so insignificant? It stung to realize that he hadn’t even bothered to tell you about his plans to go for half a year. It was like a slap in the face, a painful reminder of how little you seemed to matter to him.

And the fucking icing on the cake is that tonight, you don’t even exist in his world.

As you were spiraling into a whirlwind of more negative emotions, your phone suddenly rang, jolting you out of your thoughts. Glancing at the screen, you saw ‘Joonie’ flashing back at you. With a sigh, you extinguished your cigarette and answered the call.

“Hello?” you greeted, your voice tinged with a hint of frustration.

From the background noise, you could tell that Namjoon was evidently still at the bar. “Care to tell me why you left?” he asked, his tone laced with concern.

You couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh. “I didn’t leave. I’m just outside having a chat with my cig,” you replied sarcastically.

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line before Namjoon spoke again. “And you didn’t think to include me? I’ve been meaning to talk to that guy,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

As Namjoon’s voice filled your ears, a mixture of relief and surprise washed over you. You hadn’t expected him to call, let alone humor you in your self-imposed exile outside the bar.

“I didn’t realize you were such good friends with cigarettes,” you replied, a hint of amusement creeping into your voice despite the heaviness of the situation.

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line before Namjoon chuckled softly. “Well, you know me. Always looking to fraternize,” he quipped, his tone warm and lighthearted.

You couldn’t help but smile at his attempt to lighten the mood, grateful for his presence even from a distance. “Thanks for calling Joonie,” you said, the affectionate nickname slipping from your lips without a second thought.

“Anytime,” Namjoon replied, his voice softening with sincerity. “But jokes aside, are you okay?”

The concern in Namjoon’s voice tugged at your heartstrings, reminding you once again of the depth of his care for you. “I’ll be fine,” you reassured him, although the words felt hollow even to your own ears.

There was another moment of silence, punctuated only by the distant strains of music drifting from the bar. “Do you want me to come out there?” Namjoon asked, his voice laced with anxiety.

As much as you wanted to say yes, to feel the comfort of Namjoon’s presence beside you, you couldn’t bring yourself to burden him with your own shit. “No, it’s okay,” you replied, forcing a note of conviction into your voice. “I just needed some air.”

Namjoon didn’t press the issue. He knew what was happening and understood the meaning of your words. Instead, he simply said, “Alright, but get back inside already. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Even during your turmoil, Namjoon was there for you. “Okaaaaayyyy dad,” you replied, full of sarcasm.

Namjoon laughed softly, his voice carrying a warmth that eased the ache in your chest. “I’ll be here whenever you’re ready to come back in.”

As you made your way back inside the bar to the table where Jimin and Taehyung were seated, their expressions were a mixture of sympathy and awareness. “Are you okay?” Jimin asked, his voice soft but filled with genuine worry.

You forced a smile, attempting to mask the turmoil raging inside you. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you replied, taking your long-forgotten and watered-down drink in one go, waving your hand dismissively. But they could see through the facade, sensing the underlying chaos that threatened to consume you.

Without a word, Namjoon approached the table. He placed his hand at the small of your back, offering silent support and understanding. In that moment, you felt grateful for his unwavering presence amidst your own drama.

You leaned against Namjoon’s torso and rubbed his chest before excusing yourself from the table once more. This time, however, you didn’t head for the exit. Instead, you made your way to the bar to order a considerable amount of drinks, already determined to stop feeling this level of shitty.

As you stood at the bar, ordering your drinks, you couldn’t shake the unease lingering within you. The noise of the crowded bar seemed to fade into the background as you wrestled with your thoughts, your mind consumed by the events of the evening.

On the other hand, Namjoon was careful to avoid the watchful eyes of your friends, who were scattered throughout the crowded bar. He trailed after you with a sense of purpose, his steps deliberate yet discreet. When he saw you at the bar, he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around your waist from behind.

At that moment, Namjoon’s heart swelled. Part of him wanted to console you for your evident emotional state. But another part couldn’t deny the selfish desire to hold you close, to revel in the warmth of your presence, even as you struggled with your own demons.

Leaning in, Namjoon gently kissed your right cheek, a silent offering of reassurance and understanding. To his relief, you sighed softly, your eyes closing as you leaned into his embrace, resting your head against his shoulder without a second thought.

“You look way too hot tonight to be feeling like this,” he whispered softly, his words a tender acknowledgment of your heartache. Despite the seriousness of the situation, his tone showed a hint of playful sincerity.

A voice interrupted the moment, cutting through the noise like a knife. Neither of you noticed Jungkook’s approach until it was too late. Drunk and unsteady on his feet, Jungkook stumbled over to the bar, his eyes widening in disbelief as he caught sight of the two of you together.

"Y/N?" The voice was slurred, unmistakably Jungkook’s. You tensed in Namjoon’s arms, your heart pounding in your chest as you turned to see Jungkook standing a few feet away, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief.

“Jungkook,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady despite the tumult of emotions swirling inside you.

Namjoon tensed beside you, his grip on your waist tightening almost imperceptibly, his expression unreadable.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here,” Jungkook slurred, his words dripping with sarcasm as he stared at you and Namjoon. “Didn’t know you were into my friends, Y/N. Guess you’ll take anyone who gives an ounce of attention, huh?”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, leaving you momentarily speechless as you recoiled from the unexpected attack. Namjoon, however, was quick to react, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive as he stepped forward to confront Jungkook.

“Hey, that’s enough, man,” Namjoon said firmly, his voice cutting through the air as he placed himself between you and Jungkook.

You felt a pang of regret at what you had inadvertently caused, knowing that Jungkook had every right to feel hurt by seeing you with his friend.

“Y/N... and Namjoon,” Jungkook slurred, his words laced with a hint of mockery. “I never would’ve guessed.”

Namjoon’s jaw clenched in frustration. “Come on, man, you’re drunk, and you’re out of line.” Jungkook scoffed, flickering between you and Namjoon with a mixture of disbelief and anger. “Out of line?” he echoed, his tone dripping with sarcasm. I’m just stating the obvious, aren’t I, Y/N?”

Namjoon placed a calming hand on his shoulder, his touch reassuringly. “Let’s not make a scene,” he said quietly, warning Jungkook. “You’re not yourself right now. We’ll talk about this later.”

For a moment, Jungkook seemed to waver, his drunken facade faltering. But then, with a bitter laugh, he turned and stumbled away.

Turning back to you with a look of concern. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of distress.

You nodded, offering him a shaky smile as you tried to push aside the hurtful words that lingered in the air. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “Let’s just get out of here, please.”

The next day dawned with a sense of unease, the previous night’s events still fresh in your mind. As you woke to the harsh light of day filtering through your curtains, you couldn’t shake the discomfort that settled over you like a heavy blanket.

Dragging yourself out of bed, you checked your phone to find a message from Jungkook, his words a stark reminder of the events that had unfolded the night before. “Hey, did you come to the bar last night?” he wrote, his tone casual as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. “I can’t remember a thing, lmao.”

On one hand, his casual tone and obliviousness to the events of the previous night grated on your nerves, but on the other hand, there was a sense of relief knowing that he seemed unaware of the tension that had hung between you, at least for now.

With a heavy sigh, you composed a response, your fingers tapping out a brief reply. “Yeah, I was there,” you wrote, your words tinged with a hint of bitterness you couldn’t shake. “What a night, huh? I’m glad you had fun.”

Meanwhile, on Namjoon’s end, the morning brought a sense of apprehension as he grappled with the aftermath of the confrontation with Jungkook. Despite his best efforts to put on a brave front, he couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt that gnawed at him from within.

Throughout the day, he debated whether or not to touch the subject with Jungkook. Still, his resolve faltered each time he tried to gather the courage. How could he confront his friend about his behavior without risking losing you?

As the hours passed, it became increasingly clear that Jungkook had no recollection of the events that had transpired the night before. His mind was fogged by the haze of alcohol, and he seemed oblivious to your exchange, leaving Namjoon at a loss for how to proceed.

After the farewell dinner passed, Namjoon became aware of your persistent efforts to see Jungkook one last time before his departure. He observed as you reached out to Jungkook, only to be met with excuses. Jungkook definitely didn’t want to make the effort to see you.

In the middle of the week, all the guys went out to grab some food; Namjoon sat in the backseat of the car alongside Jungkook, Jimin in the passenger seat, and Taehyung at the wheel. He noticed Jungkook’s phone light up with your name on the screen. It was already dark outside, so the glow from the phone illuminated Jungkook’s face, and Namjoon clearly saw your name on the screen.

It wasn’t a silent ride, so Namjoon didn’t know how the hell he could hear your voice so well as you spoke to Jungkook. Your desperation was palpable, each word carrying the weight of your emotions as you questioned Jungkook about what he had been up to and if he hadn’t gotten the chance to see any of your texts. Namjoon felt a pang of sympathy as he listened, knowing all too well the pain you were feeling.

Jungkook’s response was vague, and his attitude spoke volumes during the conversation.

It was a moment of rawness, the culmination of all your emotions laid bare in a single question. “Can’t you see I was in love with you?” As you spoke, your voice trembled with emotion, the words hanging heavy in the air. “I never asked you for anything,” you continued, your tone tinged with desperation. “nothing, Jungkook, not for you to move in with me or marry me; I just wanted to be with you.” Each word was punctuated by the ache of unfulfilled longing, a plea for understanding in the face of uncertainty. “I don’t get why we can’t be together,” you confessed, the weight of your heartache evident in your voice.

As Namjoon listened to your heartfelt plea, his heart sank with the weight of your words. He felt the tension in the air, a palpable reminder of the turmoil brewing beneath the surface. Unsure of what to do, he found himself fidgeting with his phone, his fingers tracing aimless patterns on the screen. He glanced briefly at Jungkook, whose expression remained unreadable, before clearing his throat in an attempt to dispel the heavy silence that hung over them. “Should we try that new restaurant that just opened up downtown?” Namjoon suggested his voice as carefully neutral as possible. He knew that your words had struck a chord in his friend.

As Jungkook struggled to find the right way to respond to your words, his mind raced with conflicting emotions. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. His silence hanging heavy in the air.

Sensing his hesitation, you felt a surge of tears welling up inside. Without waiting for him to finally say something, you abruptly ended the call, your actions driven more by the need to release your pent-up emotions than a desire to hear Jungkook’s explanation. The line went silent, leaving Jungkook alone with his thoughts, grappling with the weight of your words and his own inability to answer.

Jungkook’s feelings for you remained ambiguous. It was evident that there was a deep connection between you and him. He knew he loved the attention you gave him without fully understanding your feelings. To be completely honest, you caught him off guard tonight.

He never expected your affection to run so deeply, and the words you just revealed to him left him feeling surprised and perhaps a bit overwhelmed. Jungkook may have underestimated the extent of your emotions and failed to recognize the depth of what he had with you until now.

Namjoon picked you up at the hour he promised. He didn’t waste time and started asking you about what you had been up to. He said he wanted to know how you liked the last music festival you went to, how work had been, and barely five minutes had passed.

“So, where do you want to go?” “I was thinking we could go to one of the bars near my place; what do you think?”

“Sure, I haven’t gone out at all lately”, “did you have one in mind?”

“Wait, tell me first, did you already have dinner?”

You shook your head.

“Good because I haven’t either.” What do you say if we go home and have dinner instead?”

“I’d like that”, “what about some takeout?”

On your way to get food and to his house, he didn’t stop talking for the whole ride; he kept asking all these things about you. And it’s not like you’ve not seen this side of him, but it felt nice that someone was interested enough to ask about your life lately.

The conversation flowed effortlessly as you sat on his bed, eating and watching a movie. You talked about books and films and even asked if you’d considered having children someday. The atmosphere between you was electric, as always, and Namjoon couldn’t help but be swept up in it.

Getting your containers out of the way, he gently hugged you closer, feeling the warmth of your body against his. Your heart raced at his touch, you could never deny the connection between you. “Aren’t you cold?” He began to kiss your neck, sending shivers down your spine as his lips explored your sensitive skin.

The movie played in the background, but you barely noticed as Namjoon pressed you closer, his body molding against yours. “Not anymore,” and then he kissed you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth as his hands roamed your body.

The heat between you was undeniable as Namjoon lifted you onto his lap, your legs straddling him as he rutted into you. You moaned with pleasure, your bodies moving in a rhythm that felt both new and familiar.

Your hands tangled in his hair as you kissed him passionately, lost in the moment. Namjoon’s hands roamed over your body, tracing every curve and leaving a fire trail in their wake. The air around you was thick with desire as you both gave in to the electricity that pulsed between you.

His lips moved from your mouth to your neck, nibbling and sucking on the sensitive skin, marking you as his. Each touch sent jolts of pleasure straight to your core, causing your breath to hitch and your body to arch against him.

“Namjoon,” you moaned his name softly, the sound music to his ears. He lifted you effortlessly, laying you down on the bed so that he could hover above you. His eyes held a mixture of hunger and adoration as he took in the sight before him.

“You’re so hot,” he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity. You felt a blush creep onto your cheeks at his words, but before you could respond, his lips were on yours again.

The kiss was deep and passionate, igniting a fire within you that threatened to consume everything in its path. Namjoon’s hands explored every inch of your body, leaving no skin untouched. The soft fabric of your clothes became an obstacle that needed to be removed. With nimble fingers, he began undressing you.

When all barriers were gone, he took a moment to admire the sight before him - your naked body spread out beneath him like it was the first time his eyes ever saw you. You squirmed under his gaze.

Get a grip. This is not the first time this has happened.

He leaned down and captured one of your nipples between his lips while his hand massaged the other breast. The sensation was overwhelming as pleasure coursed through every nerve ending in your body.

Your back arched as you moaned his name loudly into the room. Namjoon continued to lavish attention on your breasts, alternating between gentle sucking and teasing flicks of his tongue.

His lips traveled a path of hot kisses down your stomach, leaving a fire trail in their wake. He peppered your skin with soft bites and licks as he made his way to the apex of your thighs.

The anticipation built within you as you felt his warm breath against your core. When his tongue finally made contact with your sensitive bud, a moan ripped from your throat. It was intense, almost too much to handle, as he expertly swirled his tongue around your clit.

Your hips bucked involuntarily as waves of ecstasy crashed over you like an earthquake. Namjoon held onto your thighs, keeping you in place as he continued to devour you with his mouth. His hands were firm yet gentle as they held onto you, grounding you in the sea of pleasure that threatened to sweep you away.

As the intensity grew, so did the need for more. You tugged at Namjoon’s hair, urging him to come up to kiss you. He complied, moving up your body until his lips met yours once again.

You flipped him over so that now you were straddling him again. Your hands roamed over his muscular chest and abdomen before trailing lower to remove his pants.

The familiar sight before you took your breath away - Namjoon completely naked and at your mercy. His length stood proudly at your attention, begging for your touch. You wrapped one hand around him firmly while using the other to tease his balls.

The anticipation built within him as he felt your warm breath against his neck. You peppered his skin with soft bites and kisses as you made your way to the apex of his thighs.

When you finally took him in your mouth, all coherent thought fled from Namjoon’s mind. The sensation was indescribable - a mixture of wet heat and suction that threatened to push him over the edge before he even had a chance to enjoy it fully.

Your tongue swirled around the tip of his length. At the same time, you maintained eye contact with him, the sight alone nearly enough to send him hurling into oblivion.

As if reading his mind, you hollowed out your cheeks and took him in deeper, maintaining eye contact the entire time. Namjoon’s hips bucked involuntarily as pleasure surged through every fiber of his being.

“Oh fuck,” he moaned loudly, the sound reverberating throughout the room. Encouraged by his reaction, you continued to work him with your mouth, alternating between long strokes and teasing flicks of your tongue.

Namjoon’s hands found their way into your hair, holding onto you for dear life as he rode out the electric charges coursing through his veins. The feeling was almost too much to bear, in the best possible way.

He could feel the pressure building within him as he neared the point of no return. With one final thrust of his hips and a low groan that quickly turned into a string of curses, Namjoon came undone.

His release flooded your mouth in hot spurts, the taste always so addictive. You swallowed him down eagerly. When he finally finished, and his body went limp with pleasure, you released him from your mouth.

Namjoon’s head fell back against the pillow and a groan escaped his lips. The sound was like music to your ears as it signaled that you drove him just as wild as he was driving you.

You leaned forward and captured one of his nipples between your lips, sucking gently. Namjoon’s hands found their way to your hips, holding you in place as he thrust upwards, seeking more friction, not giving room to his own overstimulation.

The combined sensations were overwhelming as pleasure surged through every fiber of your being. You continued to grind slowly, relishing in the way his breath hitched and his body reacted to your touch.

“Fuck, I need to be inside,” Namjoon groaned, his voice filled with desperation. The words sent a surge of heat straight to your core as you felt the wetness between your thighs increase.

You positioned yourself over him, lining him up with your entrance before slowly sinking down onto his length. You never got used to the exquisite feeling of fullness he gave you when he filled you completely, stretching you in all the right ways.

Namjoon’s hands gripped onto your hips tightly as you began to move, riding him at a pace that left both of you breathless. His eyes never left yours as he watched all of your emotions play out on your face.

The sounds of skin slapping were intoxicating. Every movement brought you closer and closer to the edge until you finally felt yourself teetering on the edge.

“I’m coming,” you managed to gasp out between moans. Namjoon nodded in understanding, his own release rapidly approaching. He reached between your bodies and began rubbing circles on your clit, pushing you over the edge.

Stars exploded behind your eyelids as a powerful orgasm crashed over you. You clamped down on Namjoon’s length as pleasure pulsed through every nerve ending in your body.

The sight was enough to send Namjoon rushing into his own orgasm. With a loud groan, he spilled himself inside of you, filling you up and leaving you all warm and pliant.

He collapsed beside you, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. You rested your head against him, your thoughts suddenly swirling with confusion and desire.

Another movie on TV played in the background, but once again, it went unnoticed as Namjoon pressed soft kisses against your forehead.

As you lay in Namjoon’s chest, your body still warm from his touch, you began questioning your decisions. The weight of the moment pressed against your chest as you listened to the rhythm of his heart. It was a stark reminder that you were here with him, tangled in the sheets, while Jungkook remained out of reach.

It was the pain of missing someone so unattainable.

“I’m so glad we talked,” he playfully whispered against your skin. You looked up at him, and Namjoon sensed the shift in your demeanor. He propped himself up on one elbow, his gaze tracing over the contours of your face. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, concern lacing his voice.

You turned your head to meet his gaze and offered a small smile. “Yeah,” you replied, though uncertainty lingered in your words. “Just...thinking.”

He reached out a hand to gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering against the curve of your jaw. Namjoon’s dark eyes held an intensity that made your breath catch in your throat. “About what?” he inquired.

You hesitated for a moment before deciding to be honest with him. After all, he had been nothing but open and sincere with you since your dynamic began to form. “Suddenly, I just started wondering...what am I doing” you admitted, searching for the right words to explain yourself.

Namjoon’s expression softened as he took in your words, understanding blooming across his features. He shifted closer to you, closing the remaining distance between your bodies and cupping your face in his hands. “You’re here doing this with me because we both want this,” he said firmly yet gently.

His thumb traced circles along your cheekbone as he continued speaking. “I know it’s complicated,” Namjoon acknowledged, his voice filled with empathy. “But we've built something mind-blowing—we can’t deny that.”

Your heart swelled at his words. Namjoon saw past the physical desire, recognizing the emotional entanglement that had brought you to this moment.

He leaned in, his lips brushing against your forehead in a tender gesture. “I don’t want you to overthink this,” Namjoon murmured. “Just let yourself feel, and we’ll figure it out somewhere along the way.”

His words resonated with you, easing the whirlwind of thoughts spinning through your mind. In this quiet and intimate moment, Namjoon had provided the reassurance and grounding that you needed.

You wrapped your arms around him, in awe of what he just told you. His body melded with yours, offering warmth and solace in a way that no one else had. Here, in the sanctuary of his arms, you allowed yourself to surrender to his intoxicating hugs.

The weight of uncertainty began to lift as passion replaced doubt. Namjoon’s touch ignited a fire within you—one that burned away insecurities and hesitations.

With a newfound sense of clarity, you tilted your head up to capture his lips with yours in a searing kiss. It was a silent admittance—a shared understanding.

Namjoon responded eagerly, his lips moving hungrily against yours as desire flared between you. The air grew thick with anticipation as the heat intensified, driving all rational thought from your mind.

In this moment—this raw and unfiltered desire—you were able to set aside the complexities of love and longing. It was just the two of you, bodies entwined.

You ground your hips against him, aching for more of his touch. The friction between you was intoxicating, and the hunger in Namjoon’s eyes mirrored your own.

With one hand gripping your waist, he used the other to trace a path down your body, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

Needing to feel more of him, you tugged at his torso, silently urging him to get closer. Namjoon obliged.

Unable to resist any longer, you leaned in to press a kiss against his collarbone. Slowly, you worked your way across his chest, nipping and sucking at his skin along the way. Each moan that escaped from Namjoon’s lips only spurred you on.

Namjoon’s hands roamed over your body, creating an inferno wherever they touched. Desire pooled low in your stomach as his fingers traced patterns on your skin, igniting a fire that hadn’t been extinguished earlier.

Unable to wait longer, you straddled him again, aligning your bodies so perfectly that it felt like coming home. The heat radiating from his hard length made you gasp in anticipation; you needed him desperately once again.

Namjoon’s hands found their way to the small of your back as he pulled you impossibly closer until there was no space left between. Every ridge and plane of your bodies met and melded together as if they were always meant to be this way.

Your eyes locked in before he finally entered you, inch by glorious inch. A moan escaped both your lips at this new sensation; it hasn't felt like this before. It was clear that brand new emotion was being assimilated in your bodies.

As Namjoon began moving inside you with slow yet deliberate thrusts that had you seeing stars with each delicious stroke, your lips found each other once again. The kiss was a perfect blend of passion and desire that left you both gasping for breath.

Your nails dug into his shoulders as you clung to him for dear life, your body rocked by the force of his movements. Each thrust brought you closer to the edge, the intensity building with every passing second.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Namjoon groaned against your lips, his voice laced with a rawness that sent shivers down your spine. It was all you could do to hold on as you quivered; there wasn’t even a point in counting how many times he’s made you cum tonight.

You moved together in perfect sync, lost in a world where only your bodies and the overwhelming need for one another existed in this room. Time ceased to have any meaning as you chased your releases.

When it finally hit— that earth-shattering peak that left you gasping for air— it was as if everything fell into place. At that moment, there were no doubts or uncertainties; it was just you and Namjoon and the undeniable infatuation you shared.

As the world slowly came back into focus and your breathing returned to normal, you rested your forehead against Namjoon’s, staring deep into his eyes. You didn’t need words to convey what you were both thinking; this had just been the most incredible sex any of you have had since you started seeing each other.

The morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow in the room. Namjoon stirred beside you, his sleepy gaze meeting yours. You exchanged a knowing look, but the weight of unspoken questions hung in the air.

As you both got dressed and prepared to leave, the atmosphere between you grew slightly tense. The intimacy you had shared was undeniable, but the implications were yet to be understood. You couldn’t ignore the lingering question of whether this was still a momentary escape for you or something that blossomed out last night.

As Namjoon drove you home, the usual comfortable conversation flowed between you, easing some of the tension that had built up within you. His presence was a source of familiarity and reassurance, and you couldn’t help but wonder what exactly the dynamic between the two of you was turning into.

You had always considered Namjoon a nice guy, someone you could rely on, someone who took on the role to care of you in every way. Lately, things have taken a more intimate turn, blurring the lines between friendship and something more. The physical encounter you had just shared added a layer of complexity to your relationship, leaving you with whole lot of questions.

As he pulled up in front of your house, you turned to face him, contemplating your next move. You appreciated him taking you home, but you wanted to retreat to the familiarity of your own space as soon as possible, where you could process the events of the past night.

As you stepped out of the car, you thanked Namjoon once again for everything. The unresolved tension hung in the air, unspoken words and uncharted territory lingering between you. It was clear that there was more to explore, but you also recognized the importance of introspection in this situation.

Walking away from the car, you couldn’t help but wonder what the future held for you and Namjoon. Would you continue to explore this newfound connection, or would you both retreat back to the safety of being just an acquaintance, brushing off the intensity of the previous night as a momentary lapse?

As you entered your home, uncertainty weighed on your mind, and the echoes of the night still resonated within you. One thing was sure, though—this unexpected encounter had left a strong mark, forcing you to confront your fears.

As you continued to navigate your emotions, you couldn’t help but wonder. Would you eventually find the clarity? Or were you destined to be caught in this eternal struggle between the familiar but tumultuous past and the electrifying but uncertain present?

I don’t even know what I’m getting myself into.

A week later, as the evening sun dipped below the horizon, casting hues of pink and orange across the sky, you found yourself lost in thought. It had been weeks since Jungkook had finally come back and texted you, so fate had a way of bringing you back together when you least expected it.

It started innocently enough. You were on your way to meet a few friends for dinner when you spotted him across the street. The sight of Jungkook after all this time sent a jolt of electricity through your veins, stirring emotions you had tried so hard to bury.

Caught off guard, you hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. Should you approach him and acknowledge his presence, or should you pretend not to see him and continue on your way?

Before you could decide, Jungkook turned and locked eyes with you. Time seemed to stand still as you stared at each other, the air thick with unspoken words and unresolved tension.

Taking a deep breath, you summoned some courage you didn’t know you still had. “Jungkook,” you called out softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Facing you, a mixture of surprise and uncertainty flickering in his eyes. “Y/N,” he replied, his voice equally soft.

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of the past hanging heavy between you.

“I didn’t expect to see you so soon,” Jungkook finally broke the silence, his tone tinged with a hint of sadness.

“I could say the same,” you replied, countless emotions swirling inside you.

There was a pause as you both searched for the right words, the distance between you feeling both vast and infinitesimal.

“How have you been?” Jungkook asked, his voice filled with genuine curiosity.

You shrugged, unsure of how to answer. “I’ve been... okay,” you replied hesitantly. “And you?”

Jungkook nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I’ve been keeping busy,” he said cryptically.

More silence followed as you both struggled to find common ground, the awkwardness of the situation palpable.

“I should get going,” you finally said, breaking the tension. “It was... nice seeing you, Jungkook.”

He nodded, unable to meet your gaze. “Yeah, you too,” he replied softly.

Just as you turned to leave, Jungkook found himself unable to resist the urge to speak up. “Wait,” he called out, voice barely above a whisper.

You turned back to face him, curiosity flickering in your eyes. “yes?” you asked, your tone gentle.

He hesitated for a moment, the words catching in his throat. “Can we get together and talk sometime?” Jungkook finally asked, his voice trembling slightly.

Your expression softened. “About what?” you replied, your voice barely audible over the city’s din.

It was quiet for a minute. “Forget it,” Jungkook said quickly, his smile faltering. “It’s nothing.”

But you couldn’t let it go. “No, Jungkook,” you insisted, stepping closer to him. “What do you need to talk about?”

For a moment, Jungkook seemed taken aback by your question, his eyes widening in surprise. And then, with a slight smile, he stepped closer to you.

He cleared his throat, leaning in slightly as if sharing a secret. “I mean,” he started, his voice barely above a whisper as though he was afraid of the words themselves. He paused, taking a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing. “It’s not like I need to, but...”

You listened intently, the gravity of Jungkook’s words sinking in. It was as if he was voicing the thoughts swirling in your mind, the unspoken desires and lingering emotions that you had both been grappling with for so long.

“We’ve always made it complicated, I know,” Jungkook continued, his eyes searching yours for understanding. “But I can’t help but wonder if maybe—just maybe—there’s a chance for us to figure out what we had.”

For a moment, you were both suspended in time; your shared moments and potential futures flashed through your eyes. Jungkook’s question had stirred something within you, a complicated mix of nostalgia, longing, and confusion. The echoes of your past relationship with him were interwoven with the exciting and passionate dynamic you had recently discovered with Namjoon. You knew you had to make a decision, not only for yourself but also for them.

As you looked into Jungkook’s hopeful eyes, you felt deep regret, not for the moments you had shared, but for the ones that never were and would never be. You realized you had been clinging to the hope that may never come. You knew in your heart that it was time to let go and move forward.

With a deep breath, you broke the silence. ‘Jungkook,’ you began, your voice steady, ‘I think it’s best if we don’t…’ Your words trailed off, but you hoped your message was clear.

Lost in your thoughts, you continued to meet your friends, the weight of shutting out someone who hurt you in the past, heavy on your shoulders. As you sat down to dinner, the events of the evening played over and over in your mind, leaving you drained of emotion.

Later that evening, after that particularly confusing and unplanned encounter with Jungkook, you found yourself sitting on the balcony of your apartment, staring out at the city lights. The soothing sound of one of your jazz playlists playing in the background served as a backdrop to your contemplation.

Just then, your phone buzzed, and it was Namjoon. He had sent you a text that read, “I don’t want to be the cause of your pain, but I can’t help how I feel. It’s complicated, I know. Just know that I’m here for you, no matter what you want to do.”

His message struck a chord deep within you. You realized that Namjoon carved himself a special place in your heart, and it was time to tell him your choice.

With Namjoon, you felt a different kind of connection. His understanding and acceptance of your complicated situation were comforting. The passion between you was undeniable, but more than that, you felt seen, valued, and respected in a way that you hadn’t with Jungkook.

As dawn breaks, you find yourself comfortably sheltered on your balcony with a steaming cup of coffee in your hands. The richness of its aroma fills your senses, providing a comforting solitude as you are lost in a sea of thoughts that you have been pondering since the early hours. Your surroundings are quiet, the world below still hushed in the early morning slumber.

Suddenly, this serene silence is broken by a familiar voice echoing from below. The unexpected shout of your name startles you, causing you to rise abruptly from your chair, your heart skipping a beat with the suddenness of it. Curiosity instantly piques within you, a compelling urge to discover the source of this voice calling you.

When you leaned over the balcony railing to peer down, much to your surprise and a slight sense of disbelief, you saw Namjoon. There he was, standing on the lonely street beneath your balcony, his posture exuding an aura of determination. The sight of him there, seemingly out of the blue, took you aback. You hadn’t expected to see him, not at this hour, not here.

“Namjoon, what are you doing here?” you managed to ask him, your voice barely a whisper against the morning chill. Your heart was racing, pounding in your chest at the unexpected sight of him. “Come on up!” You invited him in with a giggle, your mind spinning, thinking, oh my god, he’s here. A surge of laughter bubbled within you as you retreated from the balcony, giving him the time to go up to the first floor.

Without uttering a single word in response, Namjoon quickly made his way up the stairs leading to your apartment. As soon as he stepped through the door, his presence filled the room, bringing a sense of warmth and familiarity you hadn’t realized was missing until now.

The silence that had ensued was once again broken by Namjoon’s voice. His voice was softer and gentler this time, but his determination was no less. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Y/N,” he confessed, his eyes directly meeting yours in a gaze that held you captive. “I needed to see you, talk to you.”

“You drive me crazy in the best possible way,” Namjoon started. “Every stolen glance, every lingering touch, it’s like electricity coursing through my veins, igniting a fire that I can’t control.”

“From the moment I met you, I’ve been consumed by the thought of you, your touch, your scent, your laughter.” Namjoon continued. “I couldn’t resist your pull on me, drawing me in like a moth.”

“You make me feel alive, Y/N,” Namjoon confessed, his eyes burning with desire. “And I never want to let that go. I want to explore every inch of you, body and soul, to lose myself in the passion we share.”

“I want you to go out for drinks with your friends,” Namjoon expressed, his voice still soft. “So when you feel hungover the next day, you’ll ask me to come see you because you want to have me in your arms and cuddle you.”

“I want us to talk in the mornings, still in bed, about all types of things,” Namjoon continued, a fond smile playing on his lips. “But sometimes in the afternoons, too, I want us to be able to do whatever we want during the day.”

“I want you to tell me about the nights you go out with your friends,” Namjoon confessed, his eyes filled with warmth. “And tell me about the guy at the bar who was trying to flirt with you all night. I want you to text me when you’re drunk with your friends just to tell me dumb things because you want to be sure that I’m also thinking about you.”

“I want us to laugh while we’re making love,” Namjoon declared, full of yearning. “To start laughing because we’re trying something new, and it doesn’t make any sense. I want us to be with our friends so you can take my hand and drag me to the other room because you can’t hold back anymore, and you want us to make love right there. I want to make you try to stay quiet because there are people outside, and they might hear us.”

“I want to eat with you all the time,” Namjoon continued. “And I want you to make me talk about myself and for you to talk about everything that’s on your mind. I want us to discuss which is best, the north coast or the south coast, the west or the east. I want to imagine our dream home, still aware that we might never live together.”

“I want to tell you about my plans, the ones that make no sense whatsoever,” Namjoon confessed, his voice filled with excitement. “I want to surprise you by saying, ‘Take your passport, we’re leaving.’ I want to be afraid with you. Do things I wouldn’t do with anyone else because you make me feel safe. Come back home drunk after a night out with my friends, and for you to take my face in your hands, kiss me, and keep me close to you the whole night.”

“I want you to have your life,” Namjoon continued, his tone sincere. “So you can decide to take a few weeks off to go on a trip just because you want to. So you leave me wishing to see you through FaceTime, but all it makes me do is miss you more.”

“I don’t want us to be joined at the hip all the time,” Namjoon admitted, a smile playing on his lips. “That way, we can hang out the next day. You can tell me about your night, and I can tell you about mine.”

“I want something simple yet complicated,” Namjoon declared, his eyes locking with you. “Something that often makes me question myself, but the moment I’m in the same room with you, all my doubts disappear. I want to tell everyone you’re gorgeous, and I want to be proud to say we’re together. I want to tell you that I love you, and most importantly, I want you to be able to say that you love me, too.”

“I want to make plans with you,” Namjoon continued, his voice filled with hope. “Unaware if we’ll make them come true. I want you to have a relationship where you know where you stand. I want to be someone who you love to be with. I want us to still have the desire to fool around at times because we’re still young.”

“I want to be the one you make love to and then fall asleep with,” Namjoon confessed, his voice barely above a whisper, his hand now caressing your cheek. “The one who gives you your space and loves when you get lost in your playlists. I want to have a single life with you because our relationship would be just like that, but together.”

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