#((It hurts. I know non aro folks are trying.))
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It is incredibly isolating to navigate through fandom as an aromantic person. Aro experiences are so varied, and there is no definite aro experience that encapsulates the alienation that fandom spaces cause for certain people.
Fandom is mostly built and structured on shipping. And if not, the blorbofication of characters, which tends to go down the shipping pipeline; where does that leave the romance repulsed aro person who genuinely does not want to see any form of shipping? Platonic dynamics, right?
Yeah, sure. But by platonic dynamics, it's only "best friends" or "family" right? Where does that leave the aro folks with undefined labels? No, qprs aren't a get-out-of-jail card.
And qprs- they have no rules or standards set upon them by society, not even having a clear definition for what it is, because not all qprs are the same. Yet, for some reason, it ended up becoming the "nonbinary" option to a lot of people- not romantic or "regular" platonic? Qpr it is, right?
But where does that leave the aro folk who don't want a qpr? Who don't wish to see characters depicted in pairs or trios or so forth- who embrace the lack of a partner?
And these concepts presented; when aro folk talk about them, do you care? And if you do, do you understand? Do you try to?
If you aren't aro, but wish to be supportive, are you a genuine ally? Do you raise the concerns of aro folk you share the space with?
Or do you take a look at these concepts- and decide you understand them "well" enough? Do you decide to speak for aro folks instead?
Do you depict relationships outside of romance because you believe in the importance of platonic relationships? Will you accept the fact that not all platonic interactions will be familial or "best friends"?
Can you accept depictions of qprs outside of "more than friends, less than lovers"? Are you willing to accept it is not just "best friends" or "romance lite"? Will you accept that nothing is inherently romantic- and characters in a qpr may fall under your standards of lovers?
Can you resist the urge to put every character in a pair or trio or group? Are you comfortable with the notion of characters finding more joy in being by themselves, outside of all those lenses you see them in?
It's good if you can.
And if you can't, at the very least, do you understand why some aro folk in your space are upset? Embittered by your favorite ships? Starving for representation?
Did you depict these characters with these concepts with the knowledge that aromanticism is fluid?
#antihibikase.txt#Long Post#((I'm sorry. I have been thinking about this for weeks and I am unhappy.))#((Honestly? I have been feeling more and more isolated in fandom recently.))#((It hurts. I know non aro folks are trying.))#((And its hard to describe. It's alienating.))#((And the typical fandom response is more representation- which is well-meaning.))#((But. Specifically to non aro folk. When you depict these aro concepts are you normal about them.))#((Do you do so respectfully.))#((Reminder that qprs are not restricted to aro folks btw.))#((I'm so so tired. It's easy to say you care but then completely miss the mark.))#((And just in case- this is NOT alluding to anyone. Please allow me to let my rage be my own.))#((Or to share this with those who understand.))#((And if you as a non aro person feel attacked by this- sorry.))#((I did my best to word this as firmly as possible without sounding angry because I am aware that-))#((-many will read this in bad faith.))#((Okay to reblog btw.))#((This isn't one of my usual rambles despite it being under my txt tag.))
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I haven't caught up on all of your writing, so I'm not sure if you've already done your own take on this:
Prompt: Eddie wakes up in the hospital (after the demo-bats of course) really, really loopy on painkillers and the first person he sees is Steve...
This was exactly the fluff fest I needed to break up all the angst I've been in the middle of :') Thank you!!
He really just had one thing to say to all the soccer moms and televangelists who always said people like Eddie were going to hell–
Suck it.
Eddie absolutely was not in hell, thank you very much. Sure, for some reason his sides hurt like a bitch occasionally. And he couldn’t really talk super well since there was what seemed like an entire roll of tape and gauze on the side of his face. And maybe he couldn’t move his left leg around much, but who cares about those things?
In the grand scheme of things, he was living a fucking dream.
Heaven, if you ask him. Take that, Pastor Davies, you wrinkled prick.
Honestly, he’d kind of always thought stereotypical heaven was overrated. With the way the stuffy religious folk always talked about it, it seemed like a total drag. Just prayer and eternal…boringness.
This heaven was way better.
It was mostly just floaty. Things blurred. Time moved strangely. Minutes stretched out forever, and yet he would blink sometimes and all of a sudden the morning sun in the window would be gone. The lamp beside his bed would be on, instead. He loved those times because usually a voice accompanied it, saying words that Eddie knew he recognized, but just couldn’t give enough effort to understand. It was nice, though.
The voice sounded kind. It stumbled over words sometimes, like maybe it was reading off of something aloud, but it was familiar and the cadence lulled Eddie back into those peaceful, floaty times where he didn’t have to think about anything at all.
Whenever he was hungry, food was just there. Eddie could have sworn he’d thought about pudding once and then bam pudding was in front of him. Like magic. Several times he’d come to consciousness with a mouth drier than a motherfucker, and there were always hands that reached over to supply him sips of water.
The hands were so nice. Big. Gentle. He’d felt them combing through his hair before, he’d thought.
Best of all, though? The angel.
God, his angel.
Prettiest goddamn face he’d ever seen. At first the angel looked sad, red-rimmed eyes and a deep set frown, and that had simply not been okay. No way. A fuckin’ masterpiece of a face like that being upset was criminal. Just…not allowed. Eddie had said as much, mumbled and probably slurred to hell, but it made those pretty lips lift at the corners a bit.
He’d made it his mission, then, to make the literal celestial being in front of him smile every time he could focus his brain power enough to make words.
His most recent swim up to consciousness had him coming to with fingers in his hair and a light pressure felt to the immobilized side of his face. His eyes met with his angel’s and he couldn’t help his dopey smile. Angel’s lips moved, that kind voice breaking through the haze.
“...to wake you. Sorry, your bandage was peeling back. It looked uncomfortable,” Eddie’s pretty angel smiled down at him, seeming slightly nervous all of a sudden. Like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have.
It took him a try or two to push his own voice out, rough from disuse.
“Don’ say sorry, ‘s fine. You c’n touch me anytime, angel.” Eddie giggled when the angel’s cheeks flushed an adorable pink and his hands fluttered around like he didn’t know where to put them.
“Oh, come on, man, don’t–hey, stop that. Quit grinning so wide, you’ll pop your stitches!”
Eddie batted at the hand that came up to grab the non-patchwork side of his face, pushing at his lips like if the angel could physically hold it down he could stop the smile from growing any larger. Silly angel. Eddie took the opportunity to seize one of those hands in his. He shook it around loosely, celebrating. Hah! Caught him.
It gave Eddie the chance to get a closer look at his fingers. Nice fingers, long. Eddie would smack a kiss on every one of them if he could. (There’s a possibility he may have said that part out loud, if the choked sound from the angel was any judge.)
No ring on the hand though. His angel wasn’t married. Could angels even get married? Was it against the rules in heaven or something?
Eddie leveled a very serious look to the other man, clutching the captured hand to his chest fiercely. Or, as fiercely as he was capable, seeing as the soft, floaty feeling was starting to take over again.
“I would marry you a’nyway. Okay? Don’t care what the rules are.”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Steve spent the last several nights getting well acquainted with the scratchy vinyl of his hospital chair and the fourth floor’s only vending machine. There were only so many power naps and snickers bars a man could take.
His back ached from slumping over onto the hospital bed to accommodate Eddie’s hold on him. It was hard to care about that, though, when the hand clutched in his twitched slightly in sleep before tightening back again. He’d been able to relax the older boy back into rest earlier, smiley and malleable.
Eddie only agreed to it after insisting Steve didn’t “fly away without him” whatever that meant.
Those crazy strong drugs the doctors had pumped him with were doing the work to keep him comfortable, despite making him say things he never would have had he been more aware.
Steve didn’t have the heart to pull away. He should. He should put some space between them. He shouldn’t take anything Eddie says or does to heart at all–he’s high as hell on painkillers. That would make any guy a little loopy. Make him say things he doesn’t mean.
Eddie adjusted in his sleep, smiling a bit, body angled towards Steve. His hand was warm, and if Steve moved his fingers up just a bit to his wrist, he could feel the steady thump there.
In the quiet of the sterile hospital room, Steve thought he maybe could indulge just a bit. No harm in the comfort of two people, just happy to be alive.
Robin let herself into the room quietly, a paper coffee cup in one hand that Steve knew would be made perfectly to how he liked it.
It took her barely a beat, taking in the two boys curled in towards each other.
“So, how many marriage proposals were there today?”
#when eds is finally able to come off of the hard stuff robin NEVER lets him live this down#but steve's favorite petname eddie has for him is angel forever now#steddie#Thank you for your prompt! I love doing these#post s4 steddie#my brain vomit#everyone lives because i say so obviously#waking up from anesthesia to flirt with your crush trope
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What I Wish We Can Be
Summary: Logan's story!
Characters: Logan, Fred (OC), Chris (OC), Patton.
Warnings: invasive questions, implied sex (not graphic at all), heavy angst, crying in public, alcohol mentions, internalized aphobia. Lemme know if I missed any.
Word count: 2,350
Woow! Finally done! Ngl this took me a while to write... but it's finished now! I really struggled to portray alloaro folks in the most validating and respectful way possible so I hope I didn't accidently offend anyone💛
P.S: I hope you don't mind me tugging you but this was the WIP I sent that paragraph from for the WIP game @naminethewitch
@aro-sides-week day 5 Aroace/alloaro/non-SAM-aro
...
Logan listened to the other's stories with great interest, everyone finding the term that fits for them in their own way. In Emile's case he was even questioning for years before he found a label that sat right with him.
He had to admit it was quite… inspiring, and a bit comforting if he's being honest, to hear others struggling with this when he originally felt like he was alone in his confusion.
He wonders… Can sharing his own experience be beneficial in easing his guilt? It's a theory worth testing, afterall, there are numerous studies that show how talking about things to a willing ear can help with processing emotions better.
He nodded decidedly to himself, fixing his glasses before raising his hand to catch Patton's attention.
"Hey there, fellow glasses wearer." Patton smiled at him. "Wanna go up next?"
"Indeed." He confirmed as he stood up.
"Well then, the floor's yours buddy!" Patton stepped aside from the center, giving Logan space to stand and face everyone.
"I do not wish to own this floor, but I am willing to share my own experience." He cleared his throat, fixed his tie and started his story…
-------------------------------------------------------
"Good morning sleepy-head."
Logan blinked as his mind regained awareness of his surroundings, rubbing his eyes and reaching for his glasses before putting them on and bringing everything into focus.
"Morning" he said simply as he tossed the covers and started getting dressed.
"How'd you sleep? I had a great time last night!" Fred smiled at him from the doorway to the bedroom.
"I slept well, thank you for asking. Last night was indeed quite pleasurable." Logan agreed, slipping his arms into the sleeves of his suit jacket and buttoning it up.
He noticed Fred has gone quiet and looked at him from the corner of his eye, noticing he's staring at him.
Fred noticed him looking and blushed. "Sorry you're just… really pretty."
"Oh um… thank you, you're quite attractive yourself." Logan said as he reached for his tie.
"Oh, let me help you with that, here." Fred walked over taking Logan's tie and standing before him. They locked eyes for a moment before Fred looked down to tie it around Logan's neck.
"You know I… I think I'll like seeing you again." Fred said hesitantly, tightening the knot and smoothing the tie when he's done.
"Are you saying you would like to copulate again?" Logan asked blantly.
Fred flushed. "Um… yeah… amongst… other things…" he stepped away, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
Logan frowned. "Other things?"
Fred sighed. "I'm trying to ask you out on a date… I think I like you and… it'll be nice to know you better." He smiled hopefully at Logan.
Logan stared. "Oh… I…" he wanted to say yes, he did enjoy himself last night and Fred was attractive but… he just couldn't see them going farther, he didn't feel interested in being with Fred in that sense.. but how can he convey that without hurting him?
"Fred." Logan started.
Fred looked up at him hopefully "yeah?"
"I enjoyed myself greatly last night and I can tell you're a very nice guy. I do like the idea of us getting to know each other better just… not in a romantic sense, I apologize." He tried to explain in the nicest way possible.
Fred bit his lip. "Oh… I see. I obviously think you're nice too and in a different context being friends would be nice but… I just think it'll be weird ya know? After we… ya know…" he blushed again at the recollection of last night's events.
He didn't sound too hurt so that's a good sign. "Well then, in that case, it seems our ways will be departing today." Logan said, reaching out his hand for Fred to shake.
Fred stared at the hand then snorted. "Are you always this formal with your hook ups?" He asked jokingly but shook his hand anyway. "Oh ah and…" he walked out of the bedroom for a few minutes before returning with a piece of paper he handed to Logan. "Here's my number in case you change your mind about the dating thing." He winked.
Logan gave him a half smile, taking the phone number and putting it in his pocket. Fred walked him to the door and they waved each other goodbye before he walked out and closed the door behind him.
…
"You did what?" His brother demanded when he finished telling him about this morning.
Logan frowned. "Did I do something wrong?"
His brother stared at him in disbelief. "Wow, okay, let me walk you through what you told me."
"I don't see how walking will help-"
"Just… shut up, listen for a minute. You met a cute and attractive guy who's nice and thinks you're cute too. You hooked up with him, so far so good. Then, in the morning after he asks you out on a date because he wants to get to know you better and he might be developing feelings for you…. And you friend zone him? Have you lost your mind?!" His brother said in disbelief.
Logan's confusion deepened. " 'friend zone him'?"
His brother just groaned in frustration, shaking his head. "You're hopeless bro, why didn't you just say yes?"
"Because I wasn't interested… I don't understand, was I supposed to lie about the way I felt?" Logan tried to understand why his brother was so upset by this
"It's just one date, Lo-bro, how do you know you're not interested if you haven't even given the poor guy a chance?" His brother asked pointedly.
"I just… didn't see him in a romantic sense." Logan shrugged.
"You said you found him attractive!" His brother countered.
"Physically attractive it has nothing to do with romantic feelings and interest, I don't see why this bothers you so much." Logan said truthfully.
His brother sighed. "Bro, how long since you lost your virginity?"
Logan frowned. "10 years? I don't see how this is related-"
"And how many romantic partners have you had since then?" He cut him off.
"None." Logan said. "I don't see how this is-"
"You see why I'm worried about you now?" His brother interjected again.
"Um… no? I don't think I see the issue you seem to see." Logan said honestly.
"Logan… eventually you're going to need to find someone to settle down with and… with the way you're currently handling it… I don't see it happening. I just don't want you to end up like aunt Rose." His brother took his hand and squeezed it gently.
"What's wrong with aunt Rose?" Logan asked, desperately trying to understand.
"Nothing, she's great… she's just over 50 and living alone, you don't want that, do you?" His brother said.
"I mean… maybe not but… is that really that bad? You don't have to be with someone to be happy and aunt Rose looks pretty happy to me." Logan countered.
"Look, I'm just trying to help you so here's what you're going to do, you're going to call Fred and tell him you changed your mind-"
"But-"
"Let me finish, you go on one date with him okay? Just one, see how it feels, if it's nah then just say so and you'll never have to see him again, and if it feels like it might be going somewhere then great! You found your first boyfriend! Deal?" His brother looked at him expectantly.
"I don't know about this, Chris… It feels too much like lying for me to be comfortable with it." Logan hesitated.
"You're gonna have to step out of your comfort zone at least a little if you want to find a boyfriend, bro. It's not like one is going to waltz into your house one day." Chris pointed out. "All I'm asking for is one date."
Logan sighed. "Okay."
…
"Logan! Over here!" Fred waved him over with a smile. "I was so glad you called to change your mind! A little surprised but very glad."
Logan swallowed, he can already tell this is not going to work… but then again, Chris might have a point… he is inexperienced in that regard so maybe he shouldn't judge the situation so quickly.. Besides, it's not like he can turn him down again before the date even started.
He took a deep breath and sat in front of Fred, managing a slight smile. "Yeah I figured it's worth giving this a chance of at least one date.. just to 'test the waters' as the saying goes. Though I'm very inexperienced so this still might not work out." Logan said truthfully.
Fred raised an eyebrow playfully. "One date to win you over? Alright, I'll accept that challenge." He smirked slightly.
Logan chuckled at Fred's charm, he is pretty fun to be around.. Maybe this night will go by well.
After they placed their orders they started conversating. "So what do you work at?" Fred asked curiously. "Wait, wait, lemme guess… you're a teacher! No wait… a lawyer! Eh… something that requires that big vocabulary of yours and those formal ties you wear." Fred chuckled.
Logan smiled. "Close, I'm a professor at the local university here. Nice job, pays well, and I get to educate and lecture people which I always enjoyed since I can remember. What about you?" Logan took a sip from his wine as he waited for Fred's response.
"A professor! Huh… somehow that makes you even hotter." Fred giggled. "My job isn't nearly as impressive… I just own a small bar not far from here." He shrugged.
Logan raised an eyebrow. "Owning your own business is quite the accomplishment, there are not many who will be able to achieve such a thing."
Fred blushed at the compliment. "Oh… ah, thanks… it's just a bar… I just like making people happy, you know? Help them let loose for a while… everyone needs that from time to time."
Logan nodded. "Indeed they do. Do you happen to have any good wine there?" He asked with interest, perhaps he can pay this place a visit sometime.
Fred's face brightened as he nodded. "Oh yeah! We have almost every kind of alcohol you can think of! I like to appeal to as many people as possible so I…" Fred happily chatted about his bar, how he trains his bartenders in making almost any drink out there and even encouraging them to make up their own.
Logan smiled as he nodded through his rumblings, being with Fred just felt so easy and effortless… he desperately wished he could feel those romantic feelings everyone keeps telling him about so their relationship can work in a way that appealed to the both of them… but those stubbornly stayed out of reach.
Fred already mentioned his disinterest in a platonic connection with Logan after their sexual encounter, so if Logan can't recipicate his romantic feelings towards him… they'll have to say goodbye…
"...You should come and see it, drinks are on the house." Fred winked at him, reaching a hand to grab Logan's and gently rub over his knuckles with his thumb, looking up at him with a bright blush. "...Perhaps on our next date?" He asked hopefully.
And it was the morning after their copulating all over again… but somehow way worse, because now he cared about him even more and wanted to keep seeing him… just - frustratingly so - not romantically like he does.
"Um…" Logan hesitated, how can he turn him down now?
"I get this might be scary since it's your first time but… now I know I really like you, Logan and… we can take it slow okay?" Fred's hand was still holding his and he gave it a light squeeze, smiling softly.
"I'm sorry I-" the waiter suddenly arrived with their check and Logan quickly grabbed it before Fred had a chance, glad for the momentary distraction as he put the credit card inside and handed it back to the waiter.
Fred's hopeful eyes were still on him. Logan's heart ached as he opened his mouth to say no to this sweet guy he wishes he could fall in love with. "I'm really sorry I just don't-" the words got stuck in his throat.
The waiter handed his credit card back to him with a receipt and Logan quickly snatched it and stood up.
"Logan?" Fred frowned at him with concern.
He needed space… he needed to think… he can't think…
His breath quickened. "I'm just… really busy…" he stammered and he was bolting away from there before he even realized it, only stopping when his legs couldn't carry him anymore and he leaned on a nearby wall, panting heavily.
-------------------------------------------------------
Logan didn't realize he was crying until Patton wiped his tears gently.
He backed away, embarrassed, furiously wiping his tears on his own. "I… I didn't have the courage to reach out to him again after that… he's probably better off without me anyway…" Logan struggled to finish the story and regain whatever little composure he had left.
"For the longest time I felt like I'm such a shallow 'jerk' who only likes people for their bodies I… I didn't know about… all the different kinds of attractions or how people can feel and not feel some of them… I didn't know what aromantic was or allosexual I just… felt broken and… guilty…"
Logan took a deep, calming breath, skimming through the faces looking back at him. Patton rubbed his shoulders gently in a comforting gesture.
"Hey, it's okay, I promise. Like I keep saying, this stuff is very confusing, thank you so much for sharing." He smiled sweetly at him. "Do you want to go back to your seat? Drink some water?"
Logan took another deep breath and nodded, going over to the table with water bottles behind the circle and taking one before sitting back at his seat. Feeling emotionally worn but also… relieved.
He supposes his original theory was correct then, a fact that made him smile slightly as he awaited the next person to speak up.
#aromantic#alloaro#sanders sides#logan-centric fic#arosidesweek2022#tw internalized aphobia#cw alcohol mention#cw sex mention#Lily writes#did I base the entire conversation of Logan and his brother over a convo I had with my own brother years ago?#'course not heh...#I'm projecting hard over this fics guys you have no idea#patton sanders
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"princess diana"
why is my making an effort to look and feel pretty, when i am in a low place, trying to break away and distract myself from the seemingly endless stress and turmoil my life is right now, exactly WHY is that such a fucking crime?
why is it that i feel like such a caricature of a woman when i make an effort to feel in touch with my feminine side? why does it feel like an overcompensation, an oversaturated and overdone attempt at hiding behind a costume? why when i look at my sisters in their many different states of being, does it all seem so effortless, when all i want is to feel like myself, like my best, like im beautiful too.
why is it such a crime to want that feeling of security and safety for myself?
i am completely afraid of going on this trip and having to face my true self, to be vulnerable with a person i dont trust and avoid completely, to know that everyone sees the block that i have in me and how pathetic it is that i can barely break through. like they all clearly have. because theyre all so fucking emotionally grown.
apparently i hide behind my maturity to avoid my wounded inner child.
all of the sudden im walking around with a target on my back.
maybe i was too quick to stop seeing my psychologist?
cause right now all i feel is rage and frustration and pain. because i really do feel like im alone, and no one including myself can make me feel safe. yet all i have ever done is try to make everyone else feel safe in my presence. when will this energy be returned to me?
why is it such a crime to ask for these things for myself? why am i so unworthy? because i dont have a fucking second to be alone when its all i fucking crave from life? for the past month all i have wanted was a second to return to myself. to workout again, to do yoga again, to go for a walk with myself again, to appreciate the lovely little beauties in life that only i can share with myself because there is no one else like me. to see from the perspective that i lost and quickly became more and more restricted the more i felt in survival mode. trying to rush to get every task done. every task that no one else would ever do.
right now it feels like no one truly appreciates the uniqueness of who i am. they just see all my flaws and weaknesses. i guess trying is not good enough, i guess something has to change.
somethings gotta give.
my best change comes from distancing myself from external energies when i come to these roadblocks and uncomfortable feelings within me, but it seems like distance could be a hard thing to reach at the moment.
even the fucking cat doesn't like me.
nobody likes me when im miserable.
its the cold hard truth.
nobody likes you when youre miserable.
sorry! dont like you. good luck with your depression and anxiety. youre on your own now.
i understand in a sense, not having the time or patience for it. i feel like maybe when you reach that plateau of spiritual growth you do tend to step up on the pedestal above all the puny, pathetic undeveloped non-spiritual folk.
what makes them any different to me in this scenario?
not nice being the one below looking up huh.
the difference between me and the people who i cut off - people i slowly distanced myself away from and never once was hurtful or bullied, just genuinely stop resonating with and took the step back from - is that i am making an active effort to try become better.
but apparently my own timing doesnt work for you. apparently my process doesnt look like yours and therefore is not valid. and so i become the butt of a joke that im not laughing at. or i am... because im a people pleaser.
fuck my life.
am i not allowed this one moment? this one reprieve from the shittiness of my situation at the moment to be completely and annoyingly drained, pathetic and enraged? is that not allowed anymore????? let me fucking live my life! this was my first day off in god knows how long, and i still ended up with a schedule jammed full of plans to run around doing things for other people!
im supposed to be writing my FUCKING THESIS!!!
my fucking fucking fuckoubgrafubnbge thesis .
AND OF COURSE TO TOP IT ALL OFF MY DUMBASS COWORKER OVERCHARGED ME WHEN I CAME IN SPECIFICALLY BUYING A PRODUCT FOR THE FUCKING DISCOUNT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO FUCKING APPLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ugh.
its so exhausting to carry all these pent up emotions around with me. like a child. a child who doesnt know what to do with it all because its too big.
the most hurtful thing to me is that no one shares my unconditional love and adoration for all small humans and animals. especially dogs. even the ones who claim to be the closest to me, my best friend, sisters. to not share it, to not even acknowledge it in me, to reject that part of me. to judge that part of me. who the fuck do you think you are? claiming to love me and not see that side of me. to not want to see it. to ignore it. to reject it...
some part of me... i think its my inner child. its a part of my inner child. but not me when i was little... me when i was bigger, but still little. she wants me to sit it out tomorrow. to leave myself out to send the message that im hurt, and im angry, and i dont want anything to do with people who hurt me. that they have done something wrong, and should know that something is wrong, but i wont tell them why.
then theyll ask me what happened, and ill say nothing even though its something. and hold onto that pent up resentment until the next thing goes wrong.
or i tell them, and its explosive, and messy, and poorly executed, and very well mean the end of the relationship in its entirety. all for a small moment that triggered an insecurity in me.
god im so sensitive. im so sensitive but no one wants to see it. no one wants to acknowledge it. because my walls are so far up that i wont let them. and when they notice... well. i guess it doesnt matter.. because ive been hiding so long. im always hiding. whenever it shows, its rejected. i keep feeling so rejected. what the fuck is going on with me...
i feel like a pathetic child.
im hurt.
im tired, im exhausted, im burnt out, ive overextended myself, all i want is for things to be light and fun again but it feels like it never will be. it feels like it wont get better in time for the trip or the festival. it feels like im gonna let everyone down. it feels like im just one huge disappointment.
what happened to not taking things personally?
i keep thinking that to myself. but thinking it and embodying it are two different things. im repeating the words to myself like a whisper in the background, as i watch myself continue to fall deeper into this despair of "why me?" like a viewer behind a TV screen.
i actually have noticed ive been disassociating a lot more than usual lately. im just mentally checked out. i wish i could just... disappear somewhere. somewhere totally isolated where i could be by myself. maybe ill get that at the festival. maybe what i feared, being abandoned, will be exactly what i need. to just float in the water and stare at the sky for as long as i need to forget all my problems.
i dont know whats going on with me now but i just hope its over soon. i hope its over before it gets bad enough for me to revert to my old ways. i just want to be okay again. i just want to feel safe again, and to not be afraid, and to not be angry, and to be in love with life again. to be in love with myself, to accept myself, to not hate myself, to not be angry with myself, to not feel like its all coming apart, to not feel like im doing it all wrong when im giving it my all.
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I am fucking livid rn I seriously fucking despise online ace folks (not gonna say aspec bc I personally haven't seen aros get involved in this bullshit to the extent aces do and a lot of the time aros are bearing the brunt of terminally online stupidity not causing it) who will make anything mildly related to having relationships without sex about asexuality and/or aphobia. I'm sorry but it's so weird to see a court case about a woman trying to get legal marriage benefits she was denied due to her partner being a woman and their relationship being invalidated bc of the historically misogynistic and lesbophobic "well maybe they didn't have sex" argument and then all of these online bitches speculating about her sexuality so much that they've decided it's a hashtag victory over aphobia specifically.
Asexuals are not inherently homophobic or lesbophobic, but asexuals who ignore systemic homophobia and lesbophobia and make the effects of homophobia and lesbophobia about aphobia are homophobic and lesbophobic. Asexuals are not inherently biphobic, but asexuals who equate aphobia with biphobia are biphobic. And that's not to say something can't be both homophobic and aphobic or lesbophobic and aphobic or biphobic and aphobic, but guess what??? If you're not a lesbian, you don't get to make lesbophobia about your experience as an asexual. If you're not bisexual, you don't get to make biphobia about your experience as an asexual. Shit like this is why I still get anxious about talking about my ace experience irl because there is an overwhelming number of online asexuals who are so goddamn selfish they will make the struggles that other LGBT people face about themselves and by extension diminish the real quantifiable impact said struggles actually have.
I'm not a lesbian. I have no idea what it's like to be a lesbian—conceptually, I understand what it is, but I cannot experience it. I can face hate and vitriol for dating a woman, which is rooted in misogyny and (in my particular case, misaimed) lesbophobia, but I cannot experience the same exact struggles a lesbian does bc I am not a lesbian. I cannot comment on the lesbian experience because I am not a lesbian. Yeah, I have experienced struggles bisexual women face, which have overlap with some aspects of some lesbian experiences since we are all WLW and therefore all face misogyny, due to my experience as someone who is both bi and ace, but I am not an ace lesbian so I cannot comment on overlapping asexual and lesbian experiences or, by extension, overlapping aphobia and lesbophobia. A non-lesbian asexual cannot experience overlap with lesbophobia and aphobia, so a non-lesbian asexual has no fucking business talking over lesbians (including ace lesbians!!!!) and making lesbophobia about aphobia.
There is no world in which talking over other LGBT individuals about prejudices which exist to target other LGBT identities helps combat aphobia. Making lesbophobia about aphobia does not help ace lesbians, making homophobia about aphobia does not help ace gays, making biphobia about aphobia does not help bi aces, etc. Making other LGBT issues about asexuality doesn't help the LGBT community. People who do this are hurting both our LGBT siblings and other asexuals, and for what???? Validation that they're also oppressed????? Asexuality isn't about not having sex or not wanting to have sex, and it's both incorrect by definition and actually aphobic to treat asexuality as wanting sexless relationships or suggest that all sexless relationships are due to one or more partners being asexual. Asexuality is about sexual attraction. That's no different than any other sexuality. It's not about celibacy or sex-repulsion or if you've ever fucked someone before.
And holy shit but I haven't even touched on how this behavior also hurts aros—you know, the even less represented and understood aspecs. Saying that QPRs are strictly "romantic but not sexual" is literally wrong, not to mention that phrasing excludes aros who, you know, fucking pioneered the term BTW, not alloromantic asexuals who abstain from sex. Looking at two women's relationship that's being invalidated by accusations regarding their lack of sex life and saying "well this is aphobic bc they could be in a sex-free but romantic relationship" is not only lesbophobic but also erases aromantic experiences.
This is very disjointed and disorganized but mother of god it's not okay to invalidate someone's identity or experience just bc the perpetrator is asexual!!!! If it's not okay for the evil cishetallos to dismiss shit like homophobia and lesbophobia then why is it okay when aces dismiss them by conflating them with aphobia????
#venting#asexuality#asexual#ace#i'm absolutely apalled by both that twitter thread and the tumblr post with >20k notes#absolutely disgusting#like#i cannot even express how i feel#without the efforts of other lgbt communtities before us we would have fucking nothing!!!!#gay and lesbian elders didn't just bleed for themselves they bled for all of us. we all have fucking rights bc of them#i can love another woman and not be breaking the law bc of them#i owe the queer community so much#i owe the gay and lesbian and bisexual communities everything#and to see other asexuals hurting other communities like this let alone other asexuals#i#idek it just makes me sick#we wouldn't HAVE a fucking asexual community without their communities and their struggles to be treated like human beings!!!!!#like how can you talk about how you as an asexual have been invalidated all your life and then you go and invalidate other experiences#personal
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re: accusing partnering aros of enforcing amatonormativity, I’m really not sure what’s going on there either?? like, I can say that a while back a good portion of the aro blogs I follow started id’ing as loveless (which is completely fine, btw! I don’t have any problems with that label), but I’m not sure if that has anything to do with it, or if it does, if it is just a miscommunication or tone issue. are people really trying to claim being in a QPR, a nebulous relationship, or even just being an “overly” committed friend is completely accepted without romantic undertones, like people don’t still make “oh you mean like having friends” jabs about QPRs in particular? if so, yeah that’s pretty bad but since I haven’t seen someone say it that strongly I’m gonna guess it’s a miscommunication or tone issue (feel free to correct me if that’s actually what you’ve seen happening). I haven’t seen aros being outright encouraged to “replace” romance with a QPR (not to say that it could never happen), but what I HAVE seen before is people warning each other NOT to do that. again, I really don’t think I’ve seen a ton of alloro people outright encourage aros to be in QPRs or some other kind of partnership. (possible exception is how the cost of living in a lot of places is too high to be met alone or without a really good job, but that’s not the fault of aros who want to partner,,,,,, like lads that’s just amatonormativity and it affects all of us. nebulous relationships not being widely accepted is part of that???? and if it’s a thing where people are claiming you could just pretend to be a “normal” married couple, erasure is not a privilege. having to be closeted because most people wouldn’t understand your relationship is not a BENEFIT just because it could potentially protect you from social consequences)
granted, I’ve only been involved with the aro community for about a year or two, so if there’s something further there I’d like to know. sorry if I’m reading too deep into it or whatever I’m just Lost on what the hell is going on. and, non-partnering aro folk, if you’re just venting about relationship hierarchy then apologies to you too for assuming the worst🤷♂️ I don’t mean to start discourse here I just Do Not Understand /gen
re my previous ask: didn’t mean to imply that people in QPR’s need to or even WANT to get married. apologies if that’s what the wording made it seem like.
re: the addendum first of all, of course!! i didn't assume so, but thank you for the clarification regardless. people in qprs/committed nonromantic relationships can and do get married, but there's no expectation for them to need or want to! same for romantic relationships. marriage is right for some people and not right for others, and that's fine. (for some, marriage isn't an option even if they do want it, but that's another conversation.)
anyways! to the bulk of your ask. i'm gonna put this under a cut bc the answer got very long, but please to anyone reading this understand that i am expressing my opinions and experiences in good faith and respect, and would request anyone responding to me to do the same. i'm not trying to upset anyone or start arguments, i'm merely discussing a type of post that i've seen a surge in lately and the way they impact me.
in respect to my loveless community members, whom i respect and uplift even though their experience is very different from my own, i'm gonna say it's not related to the recent uptick in that identifier. i'm sure a lot of it is a miscommunication issue - that people making these posts are not intending for them to come off the way that they are, or to be as hurtful as they are to other members of their own community.
as to whether people really are making the claim that qprs and other types of nonromantic committed relationship is accepted and normalized as opposed to nonpartnering, which isn't, then yeah, i've seen that asserted repeatedly. i don't know if people saying that mean it like in general or specifically in the aro community, but if they mean just in the aro community:
they need to be way more clear in their wording because it all sounds like 'aros in qprs are just allowed to do whatever and their relationships are validated, celebrated, and unquestioned', which is just. factually untrue. amatonormative society wants people in romantic relationships (generally speaking, straight relationships, though there is amatonormativity abounds in the queer community too, so this isn't what i'm talking about here). it's not like we live in a reality of romantic and nonromantic relationships are elevated in the same way (with nonromantic relationships being seen as the Aro Alternative) and nonpartnering is othered and looked down on. it's that romantic relationships are the ideal and the goal, and Anything Else - be it partnering in a way amatonormative society finds unacceptable or nonpartnering or what have you - is othered and looked down on. this is obvious as hell in a lot of ways, but especially the couple of times the last year or so that someone's post about their committed nonromantic relationship went viral on social media (reddit, tiktok, etc) and people just could not be normal or reasonable about it.
if it did BECOME that way (that it was widely and generally accepted and supported, even as the still-derogatory 'aro version' of amatonormative society's goal) it would still not be the fault or responsibility of aromantic people in nonromantic partnerships of any kind. but this is not the case, so talking about it like it is isn't helpful to anyone.
in my eight years of experience in the aro community, qprs/nonromantic partnerships are no more generally accepted/lauded than any other way of life and doing relationships, including nonpartnering. i think there was some more potentially problematic language in older resources about types of relationships aromantic people can 'still have' and whatnot, but the language i see these days in even more 101 resources is a lot more inclusive like 'aromantic people can have xyz types of relationships and some do but some don't' type stuff. i personally in my experience see and have seen more positivity/general representation in aro posts for people who are nonpartnering, people who prefer living alone, people who choose not to 'do life' so to speak with a partner. maybe this is just because of who i've been exposed to via blogs i've followed/posts i've seen in the tags/conversations i've come across in my years in and around the community! but i have not personally seen anything concrete demonstrating what anyone could be referring to re: some kind of hierarchy within the aro community that values aros in any kind of relationship over aros that choose not to partner at all.
and honestly though there are fewer posts outright saying that it's already happening, i have much the same issues, honestly, with posts that are "people warning each other NOT to do that." re: approaching/being in qprs/otherwise labeled nonromantic committed relationships in an amatonormative way or somehow using them to perpetuate amatonormativity. warning people not to do that feels very similar to me to accusing them of doing it, but with plausible deniability. i find little meaningful difference in it, because why would you be making something up to warn people about if you don't see a clear and imminent approach of it happening?
and i just don't... see the basis for that. none of the posts i'm thinking of or was referring to contain any actual explanation of what it is that they're upset about partnering aros doing/saying other than... being partnering? while the OPs of those posts feel discriminated against or mistreated for being nonpartnering. which is a real and true thing that happens! but is not being (generally aside from i'm sure individual bad actors which exist in every community) done and perpetuated by other aro people. and even if those posts are addressed outside the community - which it is never clear to me if they are, if that's the case - the implication that i always get is that they're made out of anger or upset at the aro community/other aro people somehow.
nobody can seem to point me in the direction of actual examples of this (qprs/nonromantic relationships perpetuating amatonormativity, which in itself just. feels ridiculous to me because amatonormativity is inherently opposed to nonromantic relationships) happening. i don't see what this is based on!
all i can see is (justified!) upset and anger at arophobia that's manifested a certain way in the lives of certain people that is being displaced at other aromantic people who are also the victims of arophobia just not in the exact same way, and who are not responsible for the harm the OPs of these posts are experiencing.
and like as to the idea of being able to pretend one's nonromantic partner was just a 'regular' romantic partner in any context (marriage, living together, just. in a relationship in general), yeah that's like. erasure isn't a privilege, and personally the idea of someone mistaking a relationship like that for me as a romantic relationship is extremely upsetting to me, as i'm an incredibly intensely romance repulsed person.
i'm assuming the nonpartnering people making these posts are often venting. and maybe i'm seeing an abnormally large number of those posts because of some algorithm-related reason! but the way those venting posts are put often feels to me like justified and real anger and upset being vented in an inappropriate direction. and they're often addressed outwardly, so it's impossible to tell if they're vent posts or actual instructions/requests/chastisements to others. i just can't tell, and i'm sure the intent is not to have any of the impact that i'm discussing here. but the reality, for me and for others i've spoken to who feel similarly, is that the way these posts are being made is unhelpful, unclear, and often misdirected and just flat out not accurate.
#gav gab#aro blogging#gd i tried really hard to write this in a way that's not inflammatory or accusatory or anything#i don't want to get yelled at and im not yelling at anyone
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I feel like something I haven’t seen discussed about when it comes to the baffling bullshit exclusionists is how so many are lowkey ableist, specifically towards neurodivergent/mentally disabled people.
Y’all remember when “cringe” was a thing? How people would call ND people online “cringe” for being even remotely, and outwardly, Neurodivergent? Fan of Undertale? Cringe. A furry? Cringe. You like anime that’s mainstream? Cringe. You like Warrior Cats? Cringe.
This was a community built around ableism and bullying, or even outright harassing and abusing, ND people online for having special interests and hyperfixations. Cringe compilations, memes that were made out of malicious intent, hate-reblogging, and overall people being shitty to other people all because they were not following the typical status quo.
What does this have to do with exclusionists and their subtle ableism?
Think about all the times identities such as asexuality, aromanticism, and pansexuality/romanticism have been the butt of jokes for exclusionists. Hurtful, right? Shit sucks and is fucked up.
Now think of all the times these jokes not only have “lol pan/ace/aro people” as the punchline, but more specifically “lol pan/ace/aro people are cringe”
Asexual moodboards that take a well known figure in social media and claim them as “asexual/ace” (even though they aren’t) all because they have a statement that’s against sex, or the infamous Nicki Minaj “I ain’t ever fucked” lyric, hell I once even saw an Aplatonic moodboard made by an exclusionist using lyrics from “You Ain’t Ever Had a Friend Like Me” from Aladdin.
“You’re pan? What, does that mean you make out with pans?” is a classic one that isn’t fully saying “lol pan is cringe” but is a little more subtle. A lot of jokes that poke fun at pan do have that subtle nature of labeling pan as “cringe”, much akin to the “I identify as an Apache Helicopter” is a “lol non-binary is cringe” joke.
There’s just. A lot of lowkey ableism in some of the shit exclusionists say as “jokes”, because, you know, being a queerphobe clearly isn’t enough. Nah, they have to be ableist, as well. Why do they label these identities as “cringe”? Same reason the special interests and hyperfixations of ND people were labeled as cringe - it’s something that goes against the norm, specifically their norm of the strict and rigid L, G, B, T. It’s the exact same thing, except this time with an added dash of queerphobia on top of it.
Most of the time, posts that make pan/aro/ace and other microlabels, lesser known identities, or even MOGAI identities the punchline, it’s not in good fun. It’s someone who is being an exclusionist, and trying to make a real, legit identity into something “cringy”. Except this time, it isn’t just something like a video game, book, or even Youtuber - it’s something that marks an important part of someone’s identity. That’s fucked up, and it really should be discussed and acknowledged more.
Please keep a critical mind when you see those types of posts. Not only is it hurting someone who is simply trying to live their happiest life, but it could also send off countless red flags and maybe even triggers for folks - especially us ND ones - who went through the hell period of “cringe culture”. All it takes is a moment to think and ask “was this made with good intentions?”; hell, maybe even check OP to see if they’re an exclusionist, before blindly reblogging all because it made you chuckle. Your laughter can come at the expense of someone else’s safety and mental health.
Sincerely, a tired aroace, panaesthetic, autistic and adhd inclusionist.
#Jean rambles#Inclusionist#Asexual#Aromantic#Aroace#Pansexual#Panromantic#tw exclusionism#tw ableism#tw aphobia#tw panphobia
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episode 4, “colorful girls” analysis
tw: child sexual abuse
this episode does not hold back.
first of all, momo is ace and non-binary. no i won’t be elaborating.
wonder killers’ dialogue:
next, the wonder killers absolutely say things that were important to the wonder girls’ irl trauma. this is from miwa’s wonder killer. she just had a conversation with momo where she revealed the hurtful things her mother said to her, like “why couldn’t you just take it” or “take it as a compliment, it means you’re cute.” it’s quite possible with this dialogue, that these were also things her abuser said to her quite often to make her believe simply by existing she was “asking for it.”
wonder eggs’ inner strengths:
its also possible that the wonder killers are... combinations of the wonder girls’ sources of trauma and not just 1 manifestation of 1 person, but rather all of the people connected to the trauma.
in response, miwa says this:
and added on “you got married, because you love each other” in the first few minutes of meeting her, i was not expecting this. up to this point, we have met a lot of wonder girls who are tired, exhausted, sad, lonely (excluding the 2 girls that ai and rika are trying to save right now). but, given the fact that she was vocal about her abuse, i’m certain this is exactly how miwa would respond in this situation.
even more poignant, is the fact momo simply listened to miwa’s protest while they were fighting the wonder killer. they agreed with her. i find it fascinating. i’m not sure what to do with this info yet, but i already like momo (partly bc i /know/ they’re non-binary, like... that’s a genderfuck if i ever saw one).
this next part really grabbed my attention, juxtaposed with miko and mako’s kill-assist. these girls are definitely not meant to seem helpless or meek or powerless. i really like that this show so far has been capturing the complexity of a “survivor’s” strength (again, quotes, because these girls are technically dead, but i don’t want to use the term “victim” because it implies they have no power).
they recognize when someone else is in need of help and they easily flip the switch from saved to savior. i’m in love with these girls so far. their characterization is complex, intriguing, and realistic at this point.
specifically with miwa, her “surrender” is not my interpretation at all. she specifically recognized that she did have some power in this situation to help momo, just as miko and mako had some power to assist ai. their approaches are entirely different, but that doesn’t make their courage, or the strength, wrong. i’m not angry at this characterization of miwa AT ALL. sometimes, the best way to avoid worse punishment is to give in, its just the fuckin reality of abuse. but it neither makes her weak, nor does it make the writers apologists.
they /specifically/ juxtaposed the girls because they wanted to show that they had different strengths for different reasons and that neither were entirely powerless. they did the best they could in this situation.
shit i love momo:
also, if you have read this far, this is why i think momo is non-binary:
i have a few... thoughts about momo’s trauma specifically that may relate to momo being non-binary.
1) momo’s wonder eggs r rape “survivors.” if my theory that the wonder eggs directly relate to the irl peoples trauma, then it would be plausible that momo’s trauma is some form of sexual trauma.
2) continuing with the sexual trauma thread, and also including momo’s flashback, it’s quite possible between them and now, that momo’s trauma occurred between these 2 points in time. this is inferred by the obvious change in appearance.
3) what could have “caused” (this isn’t to blame momo’s trauma on momo, but it’s the closest word i could think of on the spot for trading out my theories) momo’s trauma?
i have a few ideas: momo has the face of a boy, but used to wear girls clothing and sometimes momos voice fluctuates from sounding like a boy to sounding like a girl. momo could have been correctively raped either for being perceived as a femboy, trans woman, or a dyke.
additionally the corrective rape could have happened /after/ momo started wearing boys clothes and someone would have taken notice that momo sounded like a girl but looked boyish.
in either case, momo confessed to an unnamed second girl that wearing boys clothes is “simpler.” even if momo doesn’t necessarily like it, it seems momo feels forced to present as a boy. at this point, it can then be inferred the boys clothing is probably a coping mechanism to deal with the trauma (and now i feel that the issue happened when momo still dressed/presented as a girl).
HOWEVER, not once does momo ever explicitly say momo is a girl, feels like a girl, wishes momo was a girl. only momo’s presentation has been discussed at this point. in the screen shots i provided above, i feel like most people would say “i /am/ a girl.” i think that momo at least identifies with girlhood, but i don’t think momo is attached to the identity of “girl.”
and momo is ace/aro because all of these relationships we see momo in are very one-sided. when miwa tells momo she loves momo, momo replies with “thank you.” and when miwa asks if they can continue cuddling “until i disappear” we get a closeup on momo who looks forlorn and thoughtful, who simply says “sure.” a lot of momo’s interactions with girls giving momo sexual/romantic attraction feel empty.
on the other hand, we see momo’s interactions with the other 3 main characters at the end of this chapter as very emotional, light. it’s probably the /most/ lighthearted we have seen momo. momo is not getting unwanted attention—they’re all just gossiping and laughing.
when we see momo’s flashbacks with haruka, we notice that haruka hugs momo but momo does not reciprocate the touching.
again, these are just threads that im seeing and excitedly pull apart, some of my theories are half baked until i have more information. but for me it’s plainly obvious that momo is an ace non-binary person. i know the fandom has been... having heated discourse about “what is momo /really/.” and for some reason this is controversial? really weird to me.
it’s a complex issue because gender is complex. for those of you that are binary, remember that you feel very knowledgeable about your own gender, but being non-binary is an absolutely different experience all together. we aren’t some “third gender” bullshit. and i’m quite enjoying seeing binary folks be confused about momo because that’s what being non-binary feels like. i wake up every day wondering what today’s gender will be. welcome to my fuckin life.
neiru:
i find it fascinating her personality has taken a complete 180 turn regarding ai. if we remember, in the beginning of their relationship, neiru was specific that ai could only contact her if she wished to change who buys eggs when. but once neiru was admitted to the hospital, ai started texting and visiting her throughout her healing period.
initially i thought this was more of a “keep your friends closer, your enemies closer” scenario, but then i went back to the episode 2 ending:
at first, neiru forbade ai from texting her other than to make egg-buying arrangements. but neiru texted ai back with a thumbs up emoji. she isn’t being incredibly open, but given the development of her character so far, i think this is definitely her way of showing ai she trusts her and that neiru is opening up to her.
settings:
so at this point, its pretty obvious that the location of the main characters’ worlds are always the same and they are specifically tied to their links’ places of death.
neiru: unknown
ai: school
rika: gardens
momo: subway
from the other information we have gathered, its probably likely all of the links have died by suicide.
neiru: unknown. however, we do know that neiru claims she could have stopped it.
ai: a story of child sexual abuse/bullying. i’m not sure if koiko committed suicide because she was being molested or because of the bullying, but it could also be a combination of the 2
rika: rejection/fatphobia/eating disorder. chiemi committed suicide because of rika’s rejection based on fatphobia. chieme probably developed an eating disorder, evidenced by rika re-telling ai the day she visited chiemi’s funeral “she was skin and bones”.
momo: rejection/unknown. haruka expressed attraction to momo. it seems momo may have rejected that love and haruka felt suicide was the best way to resolve her inner conflict.
faults:
hmm at the same time, there are some hang-ups i have about this episode. a lot of these girls are so... love-starved, that even when a character shows the slightest bit of tenderness for them, they are quick to say “i love you!” miwa told momo she loved him, “even if i’ve only known you for a day” and this was juxtaposed by miko and mako telling rika and ai they loved them, too. there is something to be said about the attachment issues some of the wonder girls may have to people who help them resolve their trauma/healing.
extra:
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hfassfafsgd it’s so stupid when exclusionists claim that queerplatonic relationships/platonic datemates are “like having friends” or “trying to claim having friends is inherently gay“ like WHOA Kevin I didn’t know you lived with your best friend and got married to them and had casual sex with your best friend and celebrated your Dating As Friends anniversary or raised children together and acted like a run-on-the-mill couple save for the lack of romantic feelings, just to name a few examples of Totally Just Friends Things lmao... a queerplatonic relationship is neither a frienship nor a traditional romantic relationship, it’s something else ENTIRELY and I don’t know how that fucking simple piece of knowledge couldnt make it through your thick, arophobic skulls. who by the way usually pair the good ol aphobia with some good old Hating Polyamory Joaks because FUCK non-traditional relationships amirite folks????? apparently the only non-standard relationships allowed are Two Cis Allogays Being Totally Normal and Not Freaky, lest we scare the cishets! And, look, I’m NOT ARO and I know it’s now my job to tell y’all what the aromantic community wants but, to put this on words, your shitty posts mockin QPRs and/or polyamory are also hurting me, an allo bi person, you know, part of the True Good GaysTM y’all claim to want to protect from the Bad And Ridiculous Gay Snowflakes (plot twist I’m actually the latter)? Like... tbf I would like to have a partner, platonic or otherwise, idc, and seeing my personal feelings towards relationships be turned into a stupid “special queer snowflakes ahuhuhu” joke a Fox News presenter would DEFINITELY laugh at is. Hm. Dare I say. Not good!
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AroWriMo 2020 Writing
Here’s a masterpost of the 36 works from Aromantic Writing Month 2020 (under the cut)
Do share, like, and comment on the works you enjoy!
Poetry:
Screams by @exhausted-queer
Prompt: Self-love
Language: English
Words: 464
CWs: self harm, depression, death, grief, abuse, sex, sexual abuse
Let Me Be by Anon (via ask)
Theme: Loveless
Prompt: Acceptance
Language: English
Words: 86
CWs: Ableism, Aphobia
Ballrooms and Waves by @aro-ace-and-hungry
Theme: Loveless
Language: English
Words: 655
CWs: Romance mention, Anxiety
Loveless by @soph00bear
Theme: Loveless
Language: English
Words: 207
CWs: Aphobia mention, Arophobia mention
Am I A Monster? by @wish-ful-thinking513
Theme: Loveless
Language: English
Words: 157
CWs: Arophobia, Blood, Aphobia, Gore
Short stories:
Loveless by @kitkatt0430
Ao3 link
Original fiction
Prompt: Acceptance
Language: English
Words: 753
CWs: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Unhappy relationship, Gaslighting, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Amatanormativity
Summary:
She’s never been in love. It’s an odd realization to have as she’s packing her things and he’s given up on asking her to stay. Now he just obstructs her on occasion, arguing that things which are hers are really his.
Some things are worth the effort to fight for. Others are not.
He is not.
Two by @junietuesday
Ao3 link
Original fiction
Theme: Subverting romantic tropes
Prompt: Community, Acceptance
Language: English
Words: 953
CWs: Sex References (character is aroallo), Homophobia, Brief Mentions of Racism + Ableism, Internalized Amatonormativity
Summary:
The girl is a loner.
Of her own will and desire, of course. Not because she’s a little too open about her opinions (particularly about romance), and a little too closed-off when they ask her why she has them. Not because she’s terrified what her fellow ninth graders will do to her when they realize she has no soulmark. Not because she figures that she might as well just push them away first, before they can push her.
To Unmask A Witch by @agnezztealeaf
Original fiction
Language: English
Prompt: Friendship
Genre: Fantasy
Words: 4457
CW: Discussions around amatonormativity and heteronormativity, references to blood and violence
Summary:
It wasn’t that the cottage at the outskirts of the village was actually run-down or dilapidated, but if you squinted and looked at it through your eyelashes in dim light, you could imagine that it could be. It wasn’t that it was a ruckle, it was that the children thought it should be one.
You see, if a witch lived in a cottage, then that cottage should be falling apart, its windows murky with mould, the roof broken and roof shingles scattered on the garden path and in the flowerbeds, and the garden a mess of weeds and rotting greens. It felt insulting, the children thought, that an otherwise perfectly scary and threatening witch should live in such a charming and well-kept little house. So, when they hid in the forest near the cottage, staking it out, or walked past it on their way to a friend’s house, they squinted and imagined what should have been there, instead of what really was.
Annie of Anglesey by @writelikeanaro
Original fiction
Language: English
Theme: Subverting romantic tropes
Prompt: Self-love
Genre: Historical fiction/folk tale
Words: 4,676
CWs: Past marriage, Unwanted romantic interest, Public proposal, Grief
Summary:
Annie is living quite happily alone in the mountains, when the king comes to her for aid in a competition. Hoping to get something for herself out of the situation, she agrees to help him.
Seed of A Memory by @skylights422
Original fiction
Language: English
Theme: Subverting Romantic Tropes, Fantasy
Prompt: Friendship
Genre: Fantasy, Drama
Words: 1907
CWs: Brief mentions of racism and arophobia
Summary:
Fiera Casales takes a stroll with her pretend boyfriend and ponders the importance of things like love and memory.
Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot by @wellintentionedbibliophile
Original fiction
Language: English
Theme: Subverting Romantic Tropes
Prompt: Friendship
Genre: Fiction
Words: 1088
CWs: Breakup, End of the World, Neopronouns
We’re not quite a gang (more like a strange family) by @amanita-cynth
Ao3 link
Original fiction
Language: English
Category: Short Stories
Prompt: Friends and Pride
Genre: Superheroes/Slice of Life
Words: 5232
CWs: Background romantic relationship mentioned, discussion of aphobia and amatonormativity, bomb mention
Summary:
Some scars aren’t physical and can be all the worse for it. But maybe a woman brimming with her own hard-won self confidence and the new friends they pick up afterwards can help Allen overcome the hurtful words from his past. After all, if a dozen new friends think you’re great and a literal god chose you as a Champion it shouldn’t be so hard, right?
“Oh.” He blinked. “People usually say it’s weird that I don’t want people- women- flirting with me.”
“Boundaries are boundaries.” She waved a hand dismissively. From the depths of her hood, her eyes gleamed with light from a passing car and briefly lit up more details; the casual ease of her expression, her slightly lidded eyes, the soft curves of her warm, brown face. Shame it didn’t do much for him beyond the realisation that she really was that nonchalant about it, and also quite beautiful.
And A Monster Steals Your Children by @arosnowflake
Original fiction
Language: English
Prompt: none/belonging (loosely)
Genre: Fantasy
Words: 2170
CWs: heavy ableism (including internalized ableism), off-screen child murder, ableist language, mild amatonormativity.
Summary:
It is said that, in a tower rising above the valley, a monster lives, and that it steals children’s souls. Netel, one of those stolen children, goes to kill it.
Untitled by @wish-ful-thinking513
Original fiction
Language: English
Genre: Sci-fi
Words: 951
CWs: Needles, injections
Summary:
This is a short story based on a prompt from @lgbtqwritingprompts. I don’t usually write sci-fi, so this was a fun change… I feel like it was obvious that science isn’t really my thing though. I tried to keep stuff vague (ie: are clones human??? The more I thought about it, the less sure I was)… well, I tried my best!
November: The Hell Week to End All Hell Weeks by @eadrey-the-iptscray
Ao3 link
Fandom: Pacific Rim (2013)
Language: English
Theme: Subverting romantic tropes
Prompt: Community and acceptance
Genre: Slice of life
Words: 2,776
CWs: Bigotry mentions, light marital romance
Summary:
The Shatterdome baristas meet the regulars. Teasing, pranks, and awkward small talk ensue.
Traditional by @amanita-cynth
Ao3 link
Fandom: Leverage
Language: English
Theme: Subverting romantic tropes
Prompt: Acceptance
Genre: Character study
Words: 1393
CWs: References to sex (aro character is aroallo), romantic relationship in the background and referred to, marriage mentioned
Summary:
Eliot doesn’t so much fall in love as come to the realisation that he’s going to die for them.
Or: How Eliot learns some new things about himself and Parker and Hardison learn just how to stay with him.
February - Leap Year Sucks by @eadrey-the-iptscray
Ao3 link
Fandom: Pacific Rim (2013)
Language: English
Theme: Subverting romantic tropes
Prompt: Family and self-love
Genre: Slice of life
Words: 2,866
CWs: Lingering grief over a parent’s death, light marital romance
Summary:
The Shatterdome baristas and regulars slog through a soggy February with all kinds of struggles. At least they've got each other to commiserate with.
Skywalker by @kitkatt0430
Ao3 link
Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Language: English
Prompt: Family
Words: 2,964
CWs: Major character death, indentured servitude/slavery
Summary:
Rey’s family was never coming back for her. In learning to accept this and move on, Rey builds herself a whole new family, one choice at a time.
A Place to Start by @kitkatt0430
Ao3 link
Fandom: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Relationships: Kara Danvers/James “Jimmy” Olsen
Language: English
Prompt: Acceptance
Words: 2,993
CWs: Break up
Summary:
“I’m doing that thing again,” Kara told the duck. It ignored her for the corn. “Always happens. I was trying so hard not to do it this time, but there it goes. Happening all over again.”
(In which Kara doesn’t need Alex to tell her that dating James is making her miserable. But she does wish someone would tell her why every time she starts dating someone, her romantic feelings fizzle out shortly afterwards.)
The Only Trope for Me is You by @tommytonebender
Ao3 Link
Fandom: The Venture Bros
Relationships: Billy Quizboy/Pete White
Language: English
Theme: Subverting romantic tropes
Genre: Supernatural, character study
Words: 4,338
CWs: Discussions of amatonormativity, non-explicit sexual humor, most references are there to make fun of fanfic tropes, language, brief heavy themes.
Summary:
Supernatural forces ensnare our heroes, forcing them to… have a grown-up conversation? [A fake episode B-Plot]
April - Confessions and Epiphanies by @eadrey-the-iptscray
Ao3 link
Fandom: Pacific Rim (2013)
Language: English
Theme: Subverting romantic tropes
Prompt: Friendship and pride
Genre: Slice of life
Words: 2,261
CWs: Martial affection and love confessions
Summary:
Finally, communication!
Miss You by Dain
Ao3 link
Fandom: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Language: English
Prompt: Friendship
Words: 484
Summary:
Luke huffed. “Maybe I don’t want to leave.”
“You do,” Biggs said. “You know it’s worth it. You’ll do fine.”
Baby I’m Not Made of Stone, It Hurts by @emjenwrites
Ao3 link
Fandom: Peaky Blinders BBC
Language: English
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Character Study
Words: 22.6K (only the first 1.7K on tumblr, follow the links to AO3 for the rest)
CWs: romance (character is demiromantic), implied/referenced sexual content, implied/referenced pedophilia (basically the same level of implication as canon), implied/referenced suicide, one instance of antiziganism, internalized arophobia (so much internalized arophobia), arophobia, self-hatred, canon-typical language, child abuse, parentification, codependency, prostitution, kidnapping, emetophobia, PTSD, traumatic brain injuries, headaches and migraines
Summary:
Things with the Russians and Section D had started bad and ended worse, and that was before Polly, Arthur, John, and Michael went and got fucking arrested. Or Tommy Shelby grapples with loneliness, guilt, health issues, and romantic orientation in the aftermath of s3.
Unease by Dain
Ao3 link
Fandom: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Language: English
Words: 1,227
CWs: One-sided attraction, Unwanted romantic interest
Summary: Beritt was new, and not in Luke’s squadron, but you got to know people. There’d been barely anything to do for the last week but mingle.
Which would have been enjoyable, if not for the fact that Beritt was…interested in Luke.
July - Come Back Home, And Soon by @eadrey-the-iptscray
Ao3 link
Fandom: Pacific Rim (2013)
Language: English
Theme: Subverting romantic tropes
Prompt: Belonging and comfort
Genre: Slice of life
Words: 1,271
CWs: None
Summary:
Summer break means quiet days at The Shatterdome and the same old conversations with family.
The Only Demons Here are Mine by @amanita-cynth
Ao3 link
Fandom: One Piece
Language: English
Prompt: Belonging and Comfort
Genre: Character/Relationship Study
Word count: 3048
Content warnings: Mental health issues including dissociation and suicidal thoughts and ideation. Medical/bodily things discussed. Spoilers for Law’s backstory and violence therein.
Summary:
But he’d said it, hadn’t he, at Dressrosa? That if it all went wrong Law wanted to die by his side. Naturally, it had been 80% about Doflamingo, but there had been a part of him screaming: he’s here and in danger because of you, because he does the right thing just because he can, because he is selfish and insanely determined about those he calls friends and you knew that and still let him get close, because he looked at you and called you a good man and the least you can do for someone like that is die alongside them.
Or: dealing with a pirate war and a sudden lack of life goals is bad enough without trying to figure out confusing new feelings.
Chapter 2 of The Coffee Shop AU by @theinvisiblegurlz
Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Movie
Language: English
Theme: Subverting romantic tropes
Genre: Coffee shop AU
CWs: Amatonormativity mention
Summary:
A non-romantic coffee shop AU.
To Our Future by Dain
Ao3 link
Fandom: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Language: English
Word count: 999
Content warnings: Grief, Anxiety
Summary:
Luke couldn’t keep the smile off his face.It was such a simple expression; the flexing of a few muscles, and not nearly enough to give full voice to his soaring, unrestrained joy, the lightness and fullness of spirit that made him ache until he thought he might burst with the strength of it.
Microfiction:
Rain by @wellintentionedbibliophile
Original fiction
Language: English
Genre: Science fiction
Word count: 319
CWs: none
Novel:
The Crystal Heart by @twilight-lukos
Language: English
Theme: Fantasy
Genre: Speculative Fiction / Fantasy
Excerpt 1
Word Count: 931
CWs: Feeling pressure to choose a romantic partner
Summary:
Prince Haraq visits Princess Chareith, who has a reputation for being difficult to suitors. The two bond over a legend Chareith loves about the lost Crystal Island. Haraq expresses interest in her opinions but shows no romantic interest.
Excerpt 2
Words: 695
CWs: none
Summary:
After Chareith expresses her frustrations, Haraq suggest the two sneak out for a day and do some exploring. Chareith agrees, thinking to find some interesting relics in the nearby desert and marsh, maybe in relation the legend of the Crystal Island.
Excerpt 3
Words: 587
CWs: feelings of forced romantic normalcy or amatonormativity
Summary:
While on a secret outing, Chareith is abducted by a sorcerer and taken to an isolated tower with a mysterious history. The sorcerer tells Chareith that she has magical potential. Finding this to be true, she wonders what this means for her now.
Excerpt 4
Words: 846
CWs: none
Summary:
While on a secret outing, Chareith is abducted by an invisible, flying creature. Haraq sets out to find her. The stone fragment he and Chareith found has led him into a strange place, bordered by mist.
A/N: this occurs before Excerpt #3; I wasn't going to post this but I've had it all nicely prepped to go since early February and I did want to share it, even if it's vaguer about the aromantic angle in-story
Non-fiction:
Aromantic Writing Month! by @anonymousaroace
Language: English
Theme: Acceptance
Words: 487
Kricket’s First Zine by @autcore
Direct link
Language: English
Summary:
Super short aro perzine about questioning and being lonely whilst aro
Game:
To Be Aspected (WIP) by @anonymaceally
Latest update
itch.io game link
Ally submission
Language: English
Theme: Fantasy
Prompt: Mythos, fables
Genre: Friend sim/Fantasy
CWs: Some unwanted flirting. Discussions about gender and sexual identity. Adult language and situations like taxes. Content might be unfinished.
Summary:
The reader walks into a tavern owned by a squad of Aces called “Queen Anne’s Ace” . The reader stays for a week and enjoys has interesting conversations with the patrons there.
#aro#arospec#aromantic#writing#writeblr#AroWriMo 2020#Masterpost#if anything's missing#or anyone wants info adding/updating#just let me know
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Commissions Redux
Hi Folks!
This has been copied from my main blog and cleaned up a bit, since I’m trying to separate the fan stuff from the main to keep something like a semblance of an order. Commissions are therefore moved from Mana-chan’s Corner to here. They are still open and perfectly free, just read the rules, please. In case you wish to support me, you can do either of these things:
» Leave a Tip
» Buy Me a Coffee
As I am currently jobless (thank you Corona) every bit is appreciated.
» Full Update
For a long time I didn’t take any commissions because the fandoms and pairings I have inspiration for is a limited fraction of my active fandoms (i.e. the fandoms I engage with via reading fic, commenting, enjoying content, reblogging, etc.) and I didn’t want to disappoint.
Recently, in an unexpected strike of utter genius (which only took me like... 5 years to work out), I had the epiphany to compile a list of fandoms+pairings I’d be more than happy to write as you desire.
» Commission Rules/FAQ. Please read before commissioning.
» For full list of available fandoms/genres click below.
» Fandoms
» The Untamed | Mo Dao Zu Shi
The most recent fandom, also the one that currently dominates my mind.
Including: CQL, Novel, Movies. I haven’t read a lot of the source material, but I’m intending to and I already did some research. For now I think I prefer a mix of canons.
» Pairings
» Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian
» Jiang Cheng & Wei Wuxian (mostly gen, but I believe I could do something sexual/romantic as well, but please ask first if you have any specific ideas)
» Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing (please read the rules)
» Jiang Cheng/Wen Ning (tentative)
» Nie Mingjue/Wei Wuxian
» Nie Mingjue/Lan Xichen (tentative, though I mostly see myself as writing them on the side)
» Any version of the 3zun (same as above)
» Lan Xichen/Wei Wuxian
» Jin Zixuan/Wei Wuxian
» Specific Canons / Prompts
The Untamed basically exploded over my head and didn’t leave me alone. In the past few months a few plotbunnies developed which I’d all love to write at one point. You can chose to prompt me either of these or pick any general prompt, or anything you’d like to read, as long as it aligns with what I can write.
» The First Witness
Genre: Case Fic, Modern AU, Canon retell, Drama, Tragedy, Romance, M/M
Pairings: WWX/LWJ
Includes: Forensic Medical Examiner Wei Wuxian, Inspector Lan Wangji, Single Dad Wei Wuxian, Wei Sizhui / Wen Yuan, the dead ones are dead, Badass Grandmother Baoshan Sanren, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Businessman Jiang Cheng, Murder Mystery, Pining, Getting Together, HIV positive character, past off-screen rape (mentioned only). It’s basically what it says, a canon retell wrapped in a modern day case fic. It was the first thing that I had inspiration for.
» Nurse Wei Wuxian slice of life Modern AU
Genre: Modern AU, slice of life, recovery, drama, tragedy, adoption, M/M, hurt & comfort, getting together, romance, fluff
Pairings: WWX/LWJ
Includes: pediatric nurse Wei Wuxian, pediatric nurse MianMian, elementary school teacher Lan Wangji, pediatrician Lan Xichen, intense care nurse Jiang Yanli, intense care doctor Wen Qing, teacher’s aide Wen Ning, Yunmeng reconciliation, only some are dead, Wen family+WWX living together.
Premise: Former convict Wei Wuxian, fresh out of nursing school, applies for a job at Dr. Lan Xichen’s pediatric practice. Lan Xichen (who sometimes takes pro bono foster children abuse cases) isn’t quite sold on the idea of a former felon turned nurse attending to already traumatized children, but upon interview decides to give WWX a chance. Not only does he never regret it, it turns out it’s to be the best decision he’s ever made, not only in regards to his practice. Meddling ensues, love blossoms, truths are revealed, happy end. Probably the fluffiest story on the list.
» ABO Yunmeng Shuanjie Fake Marriage AU
Not what you think. Does not involve pseudo-incest (at least not for a long time, haven’t decided on the end results yet). First ABO I’ve ever considered writing, but all the more exciting, since I know now what I want of it.
Pairing: WWX/LWJ (temporal, non-endgame - so far, platonic), WWX & JC (gen, ruling partners)
Includes: fake marriage, extra marital affair, male pregnancy, abo (mostly non-traditional, I think?), not actual pseudo incest, adoption, canon divergence, not everybody dies, Wen Chao being a monster, sexual assault (interrupted), golden core loss, NO golden core transfer, misunderstandings, complicated political situations, the Wens are saved and live in Lotus Pier, a-Yuan is still adopted, “sometimes love is not enough”
Premise: shortly after concluding the studies at Cloud Recesses LWJ starts courting WWX. Engagement is discussed between the two clans, but the Wen indoctrination and the burning of the Cloud Recesses gets in between. When LWJ refuses to lie in order to save WWX from Wen Chao’s assault, JC steps in and pretends to be the one engaged to WWX to save his brother from a forced bond. To prevent this from being debunked and to ensure a future marriage (which will now be more challenging to achieve, given the state of Cloud Recesses), LWJ and WWX mate and bond in the Xuanwu cave. Then Lotus Pier is sacked, JC loses his golden core, the Jiangs are dead and the Yunmeng siblings flee for their lives, find refuge in Yiling, etc. Plays out as in canon except they find out WWX is pregnant and transferring the golden core would cause an abortion. WWX still says do it, but changes his mind in the last minute, leading to JC finding out about his plan upon waking up and remaining coreless. They flee to Meishan and marry to protect WWX’s reputation (since a marriage would now be impossible for a long time on both sides - Gusu and Yunmeng, AND JC needs WWX more than ever and WWX is not abandoning his little brother) Sunshot happens, WWX invents the control tower & still saves the Sunshot campaign. The sixteen years that follow are utter chaos.
» Nie Mingjue/Wei Wuxian arranged marriage AU
You know what this is inspired by.
Pairing: Nie Mingjue/Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian (unfullfilled, for a long time)
Includes: arranged marriage, some characters die, Nie Mingjue dies but later, revenge, wwx adopts a-yuan, canon divergence, slow burn, learning to love, the Wens live, political intrigues, wwx and nhs teaming up against jgy
Premise: To save the Wens and himself from qi deviation Wei Wuxian marries Nie Mingjue (in spite of being in love with LWJ). Slowly some truths are revealed and feelings blossom but some tragedies cannot be prevented. NMJ realizes the feelings that are between WWX and LWJ, but they both marry regardless. Later WWX realizes that NMJ is similarly in love with Lan Xichen. With time they learn to love and respect each other, NMJ learns about what WWX did for JC, WWX learns clarity to play for NMJ when JGY nearly succeeds killing him (WWX suspects but he has no proof). NMJ still dies (disappears) and widower WWX spends the next decade or so seeking revenge and searching for his husband’s body so that he can rest in peace. It’s all very bittersweet, but there’s a happy ending.
» Hakuouki + Extended Universe
The longest active and steadiest fandom. I know exactly what I’ll write and what not.
Including characters from: Urakata, Toki no Kizuna, the most recent overhauls (Kyoto Winds, Edo Blossoms). I’ve seen all three anime seasons, played a few routes of Kyoto Winds and read some walkthroughs. I’m not completely done with all of them, but I’ll take the time to research if the commission demands it.
» Pairings
» Harada Sanosuke/Nagakura Shinpachi (I lovingly refer to them as my naval battle cruiser)
» Harada Sanosuke/Shiranui Kyou
» Shiranui Kyou/Takasugi Shinsaku
» Kondou Isami/Hijikata Toushizou (tentative)
» Hijikata Toushizou/Saitou Hajime (tentative)
» Nagakura Shinpachi/Saitou Hajime
» Saitou Hajime/Toudou Heisuke
» Yukimura Chizuru/Sen-hime
» Ibuki Ryuunosuke/Kosuzu (please read the rules)
» Specific Canons / Prompts:
I’ve had a number of inspirations for this, which I’ve never written, but would love to delve into. You can chose to prompt me either of these or, of course, pick a general prompt.
» Fabulous Family Series
The one in progress, you can check it out on AO3. You can prompt me in this, if there’s something you’d like to read.
Pairings (current and planned): Harada/Nagakura, Kondou/Hijikata, Okita/Chizuru (casual), Heisuke/Saitou, Takasugi/Shiranui, Chizuru/Sen-chan, Ibuki/Kosuzu, Ibuki->Saitou (one-sided crush), Saitou/Chizuru (temporal)
Tags: adoption, modern AU, lgbtq+ issues, M/M, genderfluid character, disabled character (future), teenage pregnancy (future), slice of life, sexual assault (future), child abuse (future reveal), romance, ace/aro character, casual sex, underage sex,
» Gender Swap AU
Main Ship: Harada/Nagakura
Side Ship: Ibuki/Kosuzu
Summary: Sannan secretly tests a version of his experimental Ochimizu on a few of the captains. The result is that the new day dawns with some drastic changes to their bodies that have nothing to do with white hair, glowing eyes or bloodthirst, but with a whole other set of complications.
Premise: Original story was supposed to be about Shinpachi developing and unexpected attraction to Sano, them “experimenting” together and Sano falling pregnant. While the others manage to turn back to their original bodies, Sano doesn’t and it is all very complicated. Eventually he does (after giving birth), but instead of it being a good thing it just makes things more complicated. In the end, he choses to live in a female body instead of death and marries Shinpachi. Would include trans issues, gender dysphoria, friendship vs. love, the nature of attraction, respect, feminism and female issues. I wanted to write it as a multi-chapter, but never got around to it. But I’d love to put it out there in any form I can.
» Prince of Tennis
Tentatively putting this down as one of my oldest fandoms. I never wrote for it as cosistently as with other fandoms, but a few years back I rp-ed it for quite a while and could probably still write for it, if the pairing’s right.
Including: ShinTeniPuri characters up to Pirates and Black Holes (I haven’t read much further, but I’ll probably catch up at one point? I always do.)
» Pairings / Characters (mostly Shitenhouji and Higa centric)
» Oshitari Kenya/Shiraishi Kuranosuke
» Oshitari Kenya/Chitose Senri
» Oshitari Kenya & Oshitari Yuushi (gen, ask me about cest)
» Shishido Ryou/Oishi Shuuichirou
» Oshitari Yuushi/Kikumaru Eiji
» Oshitari Yuushi/Hirakoba Rin (this relates to that rp)
» Kai Yuujirou & Hirakoba Rin (both gen and slash)
» Kite Eishirou/Hirakoba Rin
» Watanabe Osamu/Sakaki Tarou
» Higa gen
» Shitenhouji gen and casual relationships (ask me about specific ones)
» Hara Tetsuya/Taira Yoshiyuki
» Mori Juuzaburou & Hara Tetsuya (mostly gen, but I probs could do casual slash as well)
» Ochi Tsukimitsu/Mori Juuzaburou
» Marui Bunta/Hara Tetsuya (you will never get this, but it derives from that rp I did and would still def write it if people are interested)
» Tango Pair (Sanada Genichirou/Atobe Keigo)
» Specific Canons / Prompts
Most of what I had in my head has faded but a few things remained. Of course you can also come with your own prompt at me.
» College AU, future fic
Premise: Everyone has grown up and moved on. The Oshitari cousins are now rooming together, both studying medicine at Tokyo University. They’re upper neighbors with Shishido Ryou (paedagogy) and Oishi Shuuichirou (medicine), who both miss their doubles partners, but have seemingly moved on from their middle school days and broken hearts. No such thing can be said about Kenya, who can’t get over his break up with Shiraishi following their graduation, or Yuushi, who seems to hold secrets of his own.
I haven’t developed much for this, most of it are scattered ideas, but I’d love to explore it. I’ve thought of some pairings for it, but none of them final. It would also leave a lot of room for casual stuff or one-night stands. It’s actually an ideal prompt premise, from that standpoint.
Pairings (at start, no necessarily final): Oshitari Kenya/Shiraishi Kuranosuke (past), Oishi Shuuichirou/Shishido Ryou (current), Oishi Shuuichirou/Kikumaru Eiji (past), Shishido Ryou/Ootori Choutarou (past), Oshitari Yuushi/Kikumaru Eiji (current, secret),
» It takes two to Tango / Tango towards Destruction
An old fic that was supposed to be a series which I never finished, but could pick it up and remaster it. It’d be a nostalgia project.
Pairing: Tango Pair
Premise: Atobe’s father finds out about him and Sanada dating and threatens to disown him if they don’t break up. In the original Atobe runs away, but I’m thinking now he simply might not take it seriously enough and then it would escalate. He ends up moving in with the Sanada family. Your typical rich boy loses everything and struggles through poverty, finding meaning, building a life for himself, coming off age.
» One Piece
A fandom older than even TeniPuri it’s been with me the longest. Unfortunately it doesn’t inspire me anymore the way it used to, but I’d still be able to write some things for it, if the right muse struck me. I kinda want to. Nostalgia, you know.
» Pairings
» Zoro/Sanji
» Ace/Zoro
» Ace/Sanji
» Luffy/Law (tentative, like, I ship them hard but I don’t know if I’d be able to write something for them? Oh but I’d like to try)
» Mihawk/Shanks
» Mihawk & Zoro & Perona family dynamics
» Zeff & Sanji adopted family dynamics
» Usopp & Yasopp gen
» Izo? I’d like to try an Izo.
» Canons
» Canonverse
Set in the original canon of the fandom.
Including (not limited to): backstory - past canon, present canon, future fic (please specify), canon divergence
» Modern AU
Including (not limited to): no powers, modern with magic (potential, please ask), slice of life, mystery, case fic, ‘job AU’ (coffee shop, doctors, idols, etc., please specify/ask)
» Sci-fi AU
Including: original sci-fi canon, Star Trek, Star Wars, Firefly, Cowboy Bebop, Dune (tentative), Hyperion (tentative), for everything else ask. I know a lot of sci-fi, but not enough lore for each of them to set a story in. I might be interested but it'd necessitate research.
» High Fantasy AU
Including (not limited to): original fantasy canon, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Witcher, but overall I’d prefer if you ask about this. I haven’t read/seen a lot of the most recent and popular franchises (mostly because I’m writing my own high fantasy and don’t want it to be too influenced by other things, and someone already told me it sounds like Game of Thrones, so that one’s a big no. Sorry...)
» No Powers, other than modern AU
Including (not limited to): everything that doesn’t fall under the modern AU list, but has no powers in it, i.e. historical AU (specify time & culture), future AU (near & far), cyberpunk dystopia (possibly), post-apocalyptic (possibly). I don’t write zombies.
» Superpowers / Hero AU
Including (not limited to): X-Men, Avengers, Wildstorm Universe, original superhero canon
» Genres
I do mostly serious stuff, like drama, tragedy, intrigues, arranged marriage, tragic backstory, etc. I like to put my characters through a lot of suffering. I always joke that it’s very easy to spot my favorite character by the amount of torture I put them through. I feel that it makes the happy ending weigh even more. Sometimes I even prefer a bad ending, if it gives the story more meaning (I mean, imagine LotR trilogy have a happy ending. It would totally take away all the development and the lessons the characters went through.) I wish I could write light stuff but so far I have not succeeded. I use a lot of sarcasm and irony though?
My shorter fics tend to be fluffy and sweet rather than funny, if full of playful banter and teasing. Relationships are usually depicted in a naturalistic rather than romantic way (I’m ace/aro myself, and I have lots of opinions about the nature of love and attraction, and how a functioning relationship ideally looks like and it tends to seep into my writing). Instead of traditional romance I like to write a non-traditional one. Slow burn, instead of love on first sight. Learning to love instead of falling hard. But it also depends on the pairing. I can write most things if I put my mind to it, so don’t hesitate to prompt me and I’ll let you know whether it works for me or not.
I’m not shy of dealing with child abuse, assault, suicidal ideation, trauma, disability and other difficult topics in my writing, so if you wanna request any of these or something similar I’m a-okay with it, as long as you discuss it with me. I’m not knowledgeable in everything so it’s likely I’ll need to do research, but I’m more than alright with it. Honestly, it’s very probable that I’d love to try.
» Kinks
I’m okay with most stuff. Where I draw the line is the really hardcore stuff like scat and kinks involving feces, some forms of humiliation, zoophilia, necrophilia, mutilation, stuff like that.
I’m alright with both dub-con & non-con (although I refuse to depict is as normalized, or glorified), bondage, s&m, dom/sub, light bdsm (ask me about the harder stuff. I’m not against it, I’m just not always in the mood or right mindset for writing it), omorashi (tentative, ask me), daddy kink, breath play, age play, spanking, verbal humiliation, dirty talk, edging, come eating, orgasm denial,... all the good stuff.
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Blog Info!
So before you follow, here’s a couple of things you need to know:
Please, do NOT interact if you’re any of the following (or support/defend any of the following):
Racist
N*zi / Neo-N*zi
Islamophobic
P*dophilie / ”MAP”
Z**phile
N*crophile (i think thats what its called)
Inc*st
T*RF
LGBTQ+ phobic
Ace and / or Aro exclusionist
Sexual assault / harassment / r*pe
Abuse (including child abuse obviously)
Ableist
Flop accounts/joke accounts (you’re a part of the problem)
I’ll add more if need be but for now, the basic DNI list will be this.
Note on fiction
I don't particularly mind if you like fiction considered problematic as long as you know to not support/defend those problematic bits. I know that people have their comfort shows/media/characters and there's nothing wrong with that.
But in saying that, please dont support those behind the fiction if you know it's bad and they're questionable people and please don't excuse any bad things they've done in the past.
Fiction does affect reality, but don't forget that you can be the change you want to see in the world.
(problematic fiction/media will very likely not touch this blog but if it does it will be tagged with the appropriate content and trigger warnings!)
Note on discourse
I’m open to discussing things with truscum/transmeds/anti-mogai but don't expect me to answer right away, if at all. I made this blog out of support for mogai folk and i don't want to bog it down with discourse whether friendly or otherwise.
I will try to tag all discourse that does come onto this blog, as well as other standard trigger warnings but if i forget, please don't hesitate to let me know. I'm always open to friendly criticism.
Now here's some info on me!
This is a side blog of @novatwoast67!
My name is Oliver!
I'm a dysphoric trans guy and I consider myself genderqueer/non-binary but I prefer only he/him pronouns
I'm mlm/queer + greyace and i'm a greyaro panromantic
I'm 19 years old
I'm neurodivergent (diagnosed anxiety, depression and ptsd, self diagnosed autism and adhd which i intend on getting professionally diagnosed in the near future when i have the time and money)
I live in Australia
I wish to be more publicly GNC once I've begun to pass more cis male.
I support all acespec and arospec, i support all gender identities, neopronouns, sexualities and romantic orientations, and kins (within reason, see below)!
My personal philosophy is that as long as you aren't one of (or in support/defence of) any of those in my DNI, who cares! If your identity makes you happy and you aren't hurting anybody (again, see DNI) then people should respect it and you should be free to explore to your hearts content!
Alright that should be all for now, thanks for reading!
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I’ve gained more asexual followers on this blog in the last few weeks, and I do appreciate your willingness to engage more with allo-aro experiences and perspectives. I also appreciate your willingness to reblog and promote allo-aro experiences and perspectives, especially since it’s so much harder for allo-aro folks to get our words and works outside the aro-spec community bubble. Both those things mean a lot to me, and I am so grateful for your efforts here!
But I’d like to ask you one thing: please do not reblog any of my posts with comments how specific allo-aros and allo-aro experiences are similar to your experiences as an asexual or how society treats asexuals and asexuality. I’ve had to watch some of this take place while I’ve been in too much pain to respond to it, which has been frustrating and dispiriting.
Please don’t make my allo-aro content about your asexuality.
Other allo-aros may allow this; I’m not speaking for them or the whole community. I’m speaking for me and my comfort on my own blog. I’m also speaking in the context of an a-spec community culture where many aro-specs make posts about aromantic-specific circumstances only to find an asexual using that as a jumping-off space for asexual-specific conversations and activism. This is common--I am not the first and will not be the last aro-spec to write about this--and a good many of us are alienated by this behaviour.
This harms all aro-specs by centering asexuality even in aro-spec conversations. When this happens to non-asexual aro-specs, though, it means our experiences are being forcibly referred back to an identity that dominates a-spec communities, conversations and media--an identity that most allo-aros don’t possess. We’re already fighting to have our allosexual aromanticism respected and seen as legitimate from some asexual allies; how do you think it feels to have asexuals entering a non-asexual a-spec conversation to make it, yet again, about asexuality? This habit de-centres us as allo-aros even in our own content and on our own blogs and communities. Our activism, our works and our labour become divorced from the context of their inception.
Again, not all allo-aros will feel this way, but it is not unreasonable for any aro-spec (especially non-asexual aro-specs and allo-aros) to want asexuals to stop derailing non-asexual-inclusive aro-spec posts. It should be expected and normalised for ace-spec allies to inquire of aro-spec bloggers to find out their feelings on asexual-centred add-ons to non-asexual aro-spec content, as part of recognising the imbalance in current community dynamics and relationships. As part of recognising the way asexuality is more centred in a-spec spaces than aromanticism and, in the context of this post, allosexual aromanticism.
Sometimes this happens because our experiences are similar; sometimes this happens because asexuals think allo-aros don’t understand asexual community dynamics or history in our discussions about allo-aro erasure. Often it’s well-intended, meaning to educate, share or connect, but it de-centres allo-aros in allo-aro activist conversations just the same. Suddenly, the conversations we began aren’t about us, and when there’s still a comparative minimum of conversations about allo-aros in a-spec spaces, being pushed off to the side is damaging.
(I have so many asexuals pop up in my notes thinking to explain asexual community history to me in response to my posts about allo-aro inclusion or erasure. Please don’t do this! First, allo-aros are required to learn about asexual community history to learn about aromantic community history or the way its dynamics underpin aro-spec community dynamics and even allo-aro erasure. This assumption that I don’t know only demonstrates your lack of understanding about the relationship allo-aros are forced to have with asexuality in order to exist as allo-aros. Second, you’re popping up on an allo-aro post as an asexual to talk about asexual community history. There’s a word for this: derailing.)
We don’t, historically, have a lot of space in the a-spec community for allo-aro-specific conversations. We don’t always feel safe or heard when we do speak. (I’m posting a story this month about an autistic allo-aro character on @aroworlds and I constantly have my heart in my mouth over depicting and discussing my character’s sexual attraction and setting this story in a context centering sexual attraction and experiences. An allo-aro posting to hir own aro creative media blog--an aro blog, not an a-spec, aro-ace or ace blog--should not be afraid of being “too sexual”, but I am.) We’re trying to give voice to feelings and experiences that have long been pushed under the rug, often at risk of earning ire and rejection from our ace-spec, a-spec and even other aro-spec kin. And, over the last couple of months, non-asexual aro-specs and allo-aros have earnt an increasing amount of hate and disregard from our own fellow a-specs just for voicing our frustration and erasure. I have; I know other allo-aros who have.
So when our own posts are derailed to become conversations about asexuality, it hurts. I know that most of the time you don’t mean to hurt me, that your intent is to enlighten or educate, but I am hurting every time I see myself sidelined in my own posts. I am hurting because I am sidelined and afraid in other ways in a-spec spaces. I am hurting because I am putting effort into creating and collating content that is separated, repeatedly, from its context and purpose. I am hurting because it’s reinforcing the message that I only matter when asexuals can relate to my work. And it is not okay that my notifications are hurting me this way.
I do not consent to my asexual allies reblogging my allo-aro-specific content with asexual activist conversations and additions.
Please don’t derail my allo-aro posts with asexual activist discussions about asexuality, the asexual community, asexual experiences and asexual history. I do need the allyhood you’re offering, but changing the topic of my conversations is not helping me feel heard and supported.
#alloaro erasure#alloaro#alloaromisia in the ace community#personal#mod chatter#wound mention#asexual centrism#alloaro erasure in the aspec community#aspec community#text#long post#very long post#how to ally#frustrated#activism discussion#discussion post
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I’m an 18yr old girl who’s always just kinda considered herself ‘mostly straight’. I’m in a relationship with a guy right now as well. But I’m really confused about my actual sexuality. I am not sexually attracted to women, but I am for men. I thought, that makes me straight right? But I am romantically attracted to women. Not sexual at all. I am just really confused, I don’t know if my ‘sexuality’ can be considered bi if I’m not sexually attracted to women, only romantic. I’ve asked a few 1-2
Of my friends in the LGBTQ+ community, and they said it sounds like I’m trying to be a straight inserting myself somewhere I don’t belong, which I don’t want to do.. Am I really just trying to be special or something? I’m so frustrated over this that I just don’t know what to do anymore
Questioning your sexuality absolutely isn’t ‘inserting yourself anywhere you don’t belong,’ and it wasn’t great of your friends to respond that way. Even if you questioned if you might be some variety if non-straight for a while, and then realised after some self-exploration that you’re actually straight after all, that’s absolutely 100% fine, and it’s totally normal and healthy to explore your orientation and identity. It’s not harming the community as a whole in the slightest - if anything, it’s good to normalise that kind of self-exploration.
I’m not big into this whole accusing people of identifying a certain way because it’s trendy or some kind of cool exclusive club they want to join, because it wouldn’t make sense for anyone to do that. Anyone who’s lived as openly LGBTQ+ can tell you there’s nothing trendy about being not cishet - even with attitudes moving in the right direction about acceptance of non-cishet identities, there is still no social capital to be gained by being LGBTQ, especially when it can be actively dangerous in many places.
Also, I’m not a fan of suggestions that people aren’t ‘bi enough’. You don’t have to be 50/50 attracted to the two binary genders to be bi. Even if a woman was 99% into men but 1% into women, she would still be bi enough. There’s no wrong way to be bi - as long as you’re attracted, in any way, to two or more genders, then congrats, you can call yourself bi if that’s what makes you happy!
‘Sexuality’ is often used a as a catch-all term, but there can be a difference between your sexual orientation and your romantic orientation. The split attraction model is often used by asexual and aromantic spectrum people to differentiate between their sexual and romantic orientation, and whilst it’s less common, it is possible for allo (as in non ace/aro) folks to have split attraction. The LGBTQ+ community is for anyone who isn’t cisgender, heterosexual, heteroromantic, and perisex. So if any one of those doesn’t apply to you, I would happily welcome you into the community. (There are people who have differing opinions about that, but I’m big not into gatekeeping the LGBTQ+ community, because it’s super ahistorical and not at all what the community was founded for - diversity and inclusion have always been cornerstones of the movement, but that’s a whole other can of worms that I’m not gonna open right now).
I have also heard of cases of people feeling a similar way to you and thinking they have split attraction, only to later on down the line realise that they are actually sexually attracted to their own gender too, and they had suppressed their same-gender sexual attraction as a result of internalising compulsory heterosexuality and heteronormativity. Of course, I can’t speak for your sexuality and say this is definitely the case or something, but it’s something I’ve heard of from people who’ve been in your position that might be worth considering.
It can take a while to figure out your sexuality, and there’s no pressure to force a label on yourself or try to make yourself fit a certain mould, because there’s no wrong way to feel attraction. It’s okay if you want to take your time to figure out what label is right for you, and it’s also okay to experiment with different labels. If you wanted to try out referring to yourself as bi for a while to see if that feels right, that is 100% okay and doesn’t hurt anyone,, even if you decide later down the line that it’s actually not the right fit for you., it’s still okay to try things out.
I hope that helps, and that you’re able to make peace with your identity and settle on something that fits, and that you don’t let other people bring you down - the only person whose opinion matters when it comes to something like this is yours 💗
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[screenshots of a tumblr post: @multishipper-baby asked: Hey, I have a question! Can I identify as a bi aroace if I'm gray-romantic? I know it's still in the aro spectrum, but I don't want to make other aroaces uncomfortable and use a label that's not mine
/end ask
@biaroace answered:I’ll start off by saying that I cannot control what you or anyone else calls themselves. However, I will say that I personally wouldn’t be comfortable with someone aro/ace-spec [a-spec for short] using “bi aroace” for the sake of brevity alone (and this goes for any other flavor of oriented aroace).
“Why? Ace-spec people call themselves ace all the time. How is this any different?” That’s because the dynamics of the ace community are very different: asexuals are prioritized within their own orientation. They don’t have to fight to be recognized within their own label. They don’t have to question whether a post employing the term “asexual” includes them or not. They aren’t hesitantly listed off fifth in a list of possible definitions at best and outright excluded at worst whenever someone asks “what’s an asexual?”. Rather, those were the plights of a-spec people.
I believe that’s the very reason a-specs made their own terms, and adopted the terms of the dominant majority (aro/ace) as shorthand. It’s perfectly justifiable! It’s admirable, even! But to transfer this practice onto oriented aroace labels would be a grave mistake, because as of now, we hold nowhere near the influential power aces and aros hold within their own communities. If anything, it is a-specs who are prioritized over us. A-specs who are taken as being the more “acceptable” meaning of bi aroace (as opposed to us weird oriented aroace heathens with our ~non-romantic/sexual unspecified attraction~). A-specs who are the face of our very orientation despite employing it as a mere shorthand. You’re not sticking it to the big man by claiming “bi aroace” as an a-spec person. You’re repeating exactly what was done to you. In order to help us be rid of this dynamic, I encourage you to leave “bi aroace” to oriented aroaces and instead use the equally cool alternate shorthands provided by your very own aro/ace-spec communities. For instance, bi-grayro ace could act as a neat shorthand for you (plus it’s got the same amount of syllables!) :>
Finally, I’d like to thank you for having taken the time to send this message. Your mindfulness as an ally is greatly appreciated, and I hope my response cleared things up!!
/end answer
@babyferrettails reblogs with: Yes! I’m sick of people saying that someone who uses an “orientation+aroace” term to describe themselves are probably grayace or grayro. It completely undermines oriented aroaces which is unfortunately the norm in the community already. @biaroace I’m glad you took the time to type this up it explains it really well!
/end reblog
@aceexplorations reblogs with: So I️ understand where you peeps are coming from. I️ really do. But as someone who would like to identify as a lesbian aroace but can only get up the courage to identify as an aroace who desires a long term relationship but only with other women, I️ really don’t mind people who are aro/asespec identifying as a label-aroace.My reason is this: At the moment you never hear of ANYONE identifying as label-aroace and as a result anytime anyone does people, all people, question how that is possible. The more people use the label the faster others will get used to hearing it. And as long as people remember to include an explanation for how someone who is aroace and not aroacespec can be label-aroace I️ think getting people more familiar with the label can only help.Plus, I️ don’t believe in telling somebody how they should or should not identify. They should do whatever makes them feel the most comfortable.
/end caption]
Yeah... I'm actually incredibly uncomfortable with this push to limit who can identify how, especially in this context. I’m tagging @multishipper-baby to make sure he can see multiple perspectives on this, and thank you @aceexplorations for speaking up as well.
For one, the orientation+aroace format was something people were using before "oriented aroace" came about, and there are still people who identify this way who do not specifically identify as an oriented aroace. It'd be one thing if it was a natural progression of the term changing to mean something more specifically, but forcefully trying to push people out of a term that has been open to them before "oriented aroace" became a named, defined thing does not at all sit well with me.
For two, there are many reasons - all extremely valid - why some choose to verbally identify, identify only as, or in many cases shorten to aro/ace when they are aspec. For example, can be easier than getting into an even more detailed explanation and so plain exhaust them less. It could even mean that they feel more comfortable setting boundaries in not having to discuss personal matters that may make them uncomfortable. We've long been pushing that aromantic and asexual can absolutely be umbrella terms and that you don't have to identify as aspec or some certain aspec term if you don't want, aren't comfortable with, don't prefer, or are unsure where you otherwise stand. To limit that now after we've worked really hard to make these terms open and welcoming to folk who are constantly wondering if they belong... I can't tell you how many times I've seen demia folk asking if they're welcome in the community, and graya in particular was hit extremely violently by exclusionism (at one point, basically dying out as a known label and only recently being talked about again).
For three, it’s long been the tagline of the queer community (perhaps particularly for nonbinary and aspec people, but I am currently most involved in those communities) that labels are, first and foremost, for ourselves. Do we feel a connection to labeling a certain way, even if it’s merging or stringing together multiple terms? Does it help us communicate how we feel? Does it bring us a sense of relief to use the term? Then we should use it (excluding instances of cultural appropriation or other harmful actions)! I am not seeing a reason here why it harms either oriented aroaces or non-oriented aroace orientation+aroaces to both be using the format orientation+aroace.
Finally... I'm sorry, I'm just not at all understanding the point of limiting who can identify as an orientation+aroace. When we're creating strict and limiting turns, we have to ask ourselves: why? What purpose is this serving? Does it help more people than it hurts? Is it unnecessarily leaving people out/making people feel unwelcome and/or invalid?
Honestly, I understand the argument so little, I can’t even make a point against it, nor figure out what the heck question I should be asking. The aspec spectrums simply do not exist in some sort of hierarchy as you are implying. Some folk may have more visibility than others (due to the size of the community, how long they’ve been pushing for education - not due to a particular in community effort to maliciously destabilize ourselves), and it’s true that right now there’s a lot of valid discussions going on about how people need to be careful with their words (stop saying aromantic when you mean asexual), but nobody was gatekeeping orientation+aroace until these ideas on your blog started coming up.
I saw someone trying to argue that they wanted oriented aroace to have full ownership over orientation+aroace because they wanted it to be immediately clear to people that they were specifically aroace and not graya, to which, I’m sorry, but I have to call bullshit. Orientation labels honestly say very little about us and the true complexities of our feelings, and they work well that way!
For example, someone who identifies as bi may be someone: with a strong preference for one gender over another, someone who’s only attracted to a specific amount of genders, someone who’s attracted to multiple genders but may not even include one of the expected binary genders, someone with no discernable preference for one gender over another, someone who’s attracted to all genders but considers gender an important component of their attraction, etc. Someone saying they’re bi doesn’t tell you anything beyond the fact that they’re attracted to two or more genders!
Aro and ace have long been this way as well. Even aroace is as well! There are so many details and intricacies to our feelings, desires, repulsions, aversions, preferences, wants, etc. that no label could possibly encompass all important aspects of our identity! At some point, there’s gotta be a breakdown where we realize that labels are a quick summary of how we feel, not the end all, be all of who we are or how we’re allowed to feel.
Aspec people calling themselves aromantic, asexual, or aroace all know there is a tradeoff to not outright specifying the spectrum part of their identity, and they are making the choice for themselves that they are okay and comfortable with what that entails. It should not be up to us to try and shame them out of that. As aspec people, we are not taking anything from each other by using our own community’s terms!!! It’s a difficult amatonormative, sexnormative, heteronormative world we must navigate. Our terms and our community should make it easier for us to navigate these minefields, not create more minefields to trip each other up in.
I’d be completely fine if “oriented aroace” itself was a term to specifically be defined in a strict manner. I am not okay with the bold claims that oriented aroaces somehow own the pattern of merging together identity terms in non-standard ways to describe themselves, specifically owning oriented+aroace, of which I have an incredibly hard time believing they invented.
So far, I’m not seeing how it harms us to keep orientation+aroace something open. However, I am hearing from people who are hurt by trying to make it more exclusive.
#gatekeeping#identity policing#exclusion#excluding#community discussions#aroace#oriented aroace#anti graya#anti grayro#anti grace#anti acespec#anti arospec#anti aspec#identity#yikes i didn't want to believe it when shades of grayro mentioned it#but this leaves me feeling very gross
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Do you think you could make your links available on mobile somehow? I don't have access to a computer to view them:(
BLACKLIST -+- REQUEST INFO
My blacklist is not negotiable! If you don’t like it find another kin blog!
I won’t do anything with incest ships. This includes Corrin x Nohrian/Hoshidan siblings or Corrin x Azura/Shigure.
I won’t do anything with pedophilic ships either. This includes Corrin x Second Gen Units and Robin x Second Gen Units.
Other than that, I’m pretty comfy with basically every fire emblem ship, including crossovers!
I won't do anything with Soleil orientation discourse. My only opinion on this discourse is just that she’s wlw.
I will do requests regardless of the character’s canon gender. What I mean by this is if a trans girl kins Leo but was a trans girl in her canon, I’ll do something for trans girl Leo if it’s requested. I’ll do the same for trans boys and nonbinary folk! This includes if you weren’t kin with that character yourself, but they were still that gender. (For example, in my Soliel kin, Shigure is nonbinary and I often refer to them with they/them because of it!) How ever I won't do anything with genderbends.
Requests asking for cishet stuff will just be deleted! I can and will turn all your faves gay and trans. ;)
Anyways~ Onto info!!
For icons!!! I can do pride icons! They can be aes flags too, but pls know that if I go against the op’s dni (I am pro-mogai, anti-truscum, ace and aro inclusionist, and an anti for some quick reference) I won’t use it. for the lesbian flag i just go with the orange to pink one instead of the only pink one, know that it’s because the creator of the pink one is really icky if you’re unaware of that. And since I did say I’m pro-mogai, I don’t mind doing mogai identities as long as it’s not harmful.~
If you’re sending in a canon call don’t be afraid to send in multiple asks, I’ll post them all together. Please be as specific or vague as you want! Be clear if you want to meet specific character, avoid specific characters, want people only from your canon, and the age range. While the age range isn’t necessary, PLEASE state if you are a minor or over 18. If you’re 18+, minors may not want to interact and vice versa, so even if you’re comfy with anyone, know that they might not be comfy back. And if someone does have an age range (ect. “I’m 18+ and only want to talk to other 18+ folk”) RESPECT THAT. As a final point, if you’re 18+ and only want minors to interact, you will be blocked. If you’re a minor and only want people 18+ to interact, it’ll just be deleted.
Portrait edits are currently only available for characters in heroes! Please be more specific on things colourwise- for example don’t say “darker skin” because that is far from specific and can be from a light brown to a very dark brown. I can give characters hair dye streaks, freckles, face stickers, pride buttons, and minor edits in general along side full colour edits. I can also give characters objects from other characters, but note that the art styles may not mesh the best with all non-colour based edits. I will not lighten skin tones.
Aesthetics!! Please include colours unless it’s a pride aesthetic, since it’ll just be the flag colours. A THEME IS MANDATORY IF THE CHARACTER IS NOT FROM AWAKENING OR FATES. I’m mostly familiar with those two games so I can do an aesthetic for them based on how they are in canon, but that’s a lot harder for other characters and I will just delete it.
And about stimboards, PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST THIS IF YOU DON’T STIM. I don’t mind neurotypicals requesting, since they can stim, it’s just not as common as in ND folk. It’s not for aesthetics, even if I try my best to make them look appealing. You can rb them if you don’t stim, I don’t care, just don’t request them. When you are requesting, please try to be as specific as you can! Say what stims you don’t want included, if you have trypo, if you don’t want hands, can’t stand blades, are uncomfy with furry paws, don’t want animals, no fast-paced gifs, ect ect. Even if you’re worried about it sounding weird tell me, I won’t judge you.
You can check my “#?Selkies Samples” tag for examples of my stuff!
As a final note, you can request as much as you want when requests are open but send them in different messages. Adding more than one request into one message stresses me out immensely and I will not be able to do it.
HOLD UP!
Before you follow, know my stances on some stuff that’s important to me!
I’m anti-truscum and pro-mogai/imoga. Call me a tucute if you want, idc.
I’m an ace and aro inclusonist! Exclusionists are aphobes and never cared about “keeping ‘cishets’ out” they only want to hurt ace and aros.
I’m pro self-dx. As long as you put tons of research into the subject and talk with those who know for sure they have it + are open about it being self-dx, it isn’t harmful. It can be impossible to get diagnoses’ for things, especially if you have ablest parents, are afab, and/or don’t have the money.
I’m pro-otherkin! I’m other kin myself.
I’m an ‘anti’. What that means is I’m against shipping pedophilia, incest, and abuse even in fiction, and am aware that fiction effects reality. 'Anti-anti’ is a dumb label that’s clearly dancing around saying that they’re a pedophilia/incest/abuse supporter and apologist.
I’m obviously anti-pedophilie (map/nomap/nop/what ever term they’re using to seem less threatening) if that wasn’t clear by now.
So, I’d prefer if you don’t follow me if you are:
Truscum. I’ll likely block you if you even interact with me.
Anti-mogai. Neutrals are fine tho.
Ace/Aro exclusionist or neutral. It stopped being about gatekeeping a long time ago, you can’t be neutral on this when it’s constantly exclusionists telling aces and aros that they aren’t real, that they aren’t hurt for their orientation, and always having their communities invaded and ripped down even after exlusionists said that all they wanted was for us to make our own community. We did that. They tore it down and continued to mock us and yell at us all while getting our identity wrong, describing it incorrectly, and refusing to listen to our voices. It isn’t about if we’re lgbt or not anymore. It never was.
Pro-shipper ('anti-anti’)
Pro-pedophile
True crime community (I mean the sexual and romanticizing stuff!! I’m super into true crime myself so don’t worry about this if you’re just interested in crimes and mystery.)
BIO TIME!
Okay! I’m Selkie! I’m a trans man and I only use he/him. (I’ve considered using neopronouns but haven’t found any that were right. I might try some out on this blog in the future though.) I’m mentally ill and nd. While I am currently a minor, I’m fine with people of all ages interacting and talking to me.
I’m asexual fictosexual/romantic, and (gray)aromantic mlm.
Anyways!!! Onto my kins! I mentioned otherkin, so I’ll quickly say that I’m vampire, fox, and werewolf kin. And while I’m not sure if they count as other kin at all, I’m a Kitsune (the Fates/IF kind specifically, not the Japanese folklore kind, and this is because I kin Selkie), as well as an Absol, Vulpix, Sylveon,and Umbreon from pokemon!
For fire emblem kins specifically, I am Selkie (Hence the theme! also, trans man), Veronica (trans man), Soleil (trans man??), and Henry (trans man)!
I’m 100% okay with all doubles~ While my mod name is Selkie I’m also fine with being called Soleil or Henry! Call me Veronica though and perish by my claws.
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there you go, nonny!
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