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iluvmattsbeard · 20 days

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this isn’t me (m.s)

master list

matt sturniolo x reader

(BIG TRIGGER WARNING! ⚠️)

don’t read unless you are highly sensitive with the following mentioned below.

warnings: slight gore/strong language/mentions blood/death/throw up

preview: Matt has recently started changing. the way he looks, the way he acts, and his demeanor in general. you slowly notice how distant he’s become. you were worried, a long with his brothers, so you all see what he's been up to. the scene left you, Chris, and Nick in shock.

A/N: this type of writing is different for me so i hope it lives up to your guys liking! likes and reblogs are appreciated! - L 🤍

it was a foggy morning in Boston. you were waiting at a post lamp for your best friend, Matt. you both walked to school together every morning ever since he asked to join you a few years back. now, you guys were attached to the hip. you had your hands in your pocket keeping them warm. you let out a breath which caused air to be visible in front of your face. that's how cold it was. you were starting to wonder what took Matt so long.

eventually you gave up waiting and texted him saying you'll just meet him there. you then headed over to the dreadful place. once you got to your first class. you noticed Chris and Nick were at their seats but, Matt was no where to be seen. you sat at your seat as you looked at Nick, "where is he?" you asked putting your back pack down. all he did was give you a confused face, "Matt? I thought he was with you?" he asks. you ended up giving him the same confused look. "what do you mean?" "I saw him head out before us. I assumed he was already going to meet up with you." Chris adds on. you turn your head towards him, "well I never saw him." you let out still confused.

you picked up your phone checking to see if Matt responded to your text. nothing. the text wasn't even seen.

Y/N

Matt what are you up to? Chris and Nick said they saw you head out to meet me. where are you?

"maybe he's just ditching?" Chris says. "you know that's not like-" your voice trails off when you see Matt walk into class. "you’re late Matthew." you hear the teacher say. "do you have a tardy slip?" all Matt does is shake his head and walk over to his seat right next to you. "why are you late?" you whisper to him. "It was nice out. I took the long way." he says avoiding eye contact. that's unlike him. plus, you didn't even know there was a long way.

the whole day at school, Matt was quiet. which he usually is but today? not a single word at all. even at lunch, he just sat there not even touching his food. "Matt eat your lunch." Nick says. "not hungry." Matt responds with a tone that was different. you, Nick, and Chris just look at each other. "okay then?" Nick responds quietly. "more for me." Chris says taking the hamburger off Matt's tray before eating it. you and Nick just let out a small laugh.

at the end of the day, you followed behind Matt as you spoke, "what happened?" all Matt did was stay quiet as he walks. "Matt are you listening?" you add on. he still just continues walking. you step in front of him as you look at his face. it seemed different. his skin looked more pale, his eyes were tired, and they were dark. "what's the matter with you?" he just stares into your eyes with a blank face. nothing came out of his mouth except for one word, "move." walking past you. you just stood there in shock. what is his problem?

later at home, you receive a text.

Matt

i'm sorry for acting the way I did earlier. it's complicated.

you sigh texting back.

Y/N

can you talk to me about it?

Matt

not yet.

it's too much.

your face turns into confusion before texting back. what does that even mean?

Y/N

can you just tell me?

you text but soon after you were left on read.

meanwhile at the triplets house, Matt was sitting at the kitchen table quietly. "Matt you haven't eaten all day. you need to eat something." Marylou says sliding the plate in front of him. Nick and Chris look at him as Matt just stays still with the same blank face from earlier. "Mom it's not going to work. he's been quiet all day. he didn't even meet with Y/n this morning. he was late to class." Nick says. "what?" Marylou says looking back at Matt. "what is up with you sweetheart?" she says with a worried look. Matt just gets up and walks out the house. "Matt!" Marylou shouts but it was already too late.

Nick

something is wrong with Matt. it's starting to worry us. has he told you anything yet?

you look at the text with a saddened expression before texting back.

Y/N

he texted me earlier apologizing but that was all. I'm currently left on read.

Nick

well he just walked out the house not too long ago.

you and Nick text all night, discussing what could possibly be wrong with Matt before heading to bed.

later that night, Matt arrives home, rushing to his bathroom. he was breathing heavily as he panicked washing his hands. "Matt?" Nick knocks on the door. Matt stopped in his place as he slowly looks up at himself in the mirror with his dark eyes. he had blood smeared across his mouth as he snaps back to reality. "what the fuck." Matt whispers to himself before hurrying to wash his face. "Matt! can we talk!" Nick yells from the other side of the door. "hold on!" Matt responds cleaning off the remaining blood that was smeared on the sink before opening the door. "where were you all night? all of us, including Y/n, are worried." Nick says, trying to read his face. "I was just trying to clear my head." Matt says. "well can you let us know what's wrong? you're acting so strange." Nick says with a somber look. he really wanted to figure out what was eating up his brother. if only he knew the truth. it would freak him out. so Matt stayed quiet, walking past him, straight to his room closing the door and locking it.

Nick just lets out a sigh as he does the same. The next day, Matt didn't show up to school at all. "he's not answering his phone." Chris says putting his phone done on the lunch table.

Matt's POV

it's been a few days since the unthinkable happened to me. it was late one night when I rushed to the bathroom throwing up an unusual amount into the toilet. I felt like I was releasing my whole insides. by the time I was done, I woke up confused on the bathroom floor. I felt something different within me. I couldn't comprehend all of of this. I started to ignore everyone. not because I wanted to, but because I needed to protect them from what i've been doing. who knows what could potentially happen next. I don't need the people I love to be in between, especially Y/n. it's been so hard staying away from her, but I have to.

i let out a breath as I drop the shovel onto the ground. I can't believe this is happening to me. I thought this type of shit only happened in movies or TV shows. i take off my gloves as I throw them into a trash can near by. I throw my hood over my head as I head home skipping school. I have to wash myself up.

End of Matt's POV

Y/N

please Matt. whatever you’re going through, I don't want you to feel like you're alone. I miss you. text me when you have the chance.

you sat anxiously waiting for a response. "he's not going to respond." you say biting your lip softly. "then lets find out what's wrong with him." Nick says looking at both you and Chris. "how?" You respond. "we follow him. he's been heading out with no explanation. let's see what he's been up to." Nick says. you and Chris look at each other and nod. "let's do it." You reply.

You, Chris, and Nick create a group chat where you've been coming up with plans to spy on Matt. you guys wanted to time it perfectly. a plan was made for the next few days. You will sleep over at their house, in Nick's room, without Matt finding out. Chris will slip an air tag into Matt's jacket so you guys can keep track of where he goes.

Nick

alright. we have a plan. come over Friday night.

Y/N

got it. see you guys then.

Chris

see you.

when Friday hits, you pack your clothes into a small backpack as you sigh. "I really hope this works." you whisper to yourself before throwing it on your shoulder. you head down the stairs and slide on your shoes as you head out the door. eventually, you arrive at their house. walking to the back door so Matt doesn't see you.

Y/N

outside.

you text as you wait for someone to let you in. Chris opens the door and greets you. "Matt is in the bathroom so we have to be quiet heading upstairs." he says whispering. you nod and head upstairs quietly. Chris and You both head into Nick's room, shutting the door locking it. "Chris just placed the air tag in Matt's jacket. so all we have to do now is wait till he leaves." Nick says sitting down on his bed. you nod and you three talk, killing time until it hits 10 p.m. "does he usually head out later?" you say with a yawn. "it'll be anytime now." Nick responds looking at the time. he was right. you three hear a door open, indicating Matt getting out of his room. you hear slight foot steps going down the stairs, hearing the front door open and shut.

Chris pulls out his phone as he watches the little dot on his screen move. You get up and throw on a hoodie as you watch the little dot as well. after a bit, the dot stops moving. Nick's eyes widen, "that can't be right..." Chris whispers. "Abandoned house on Imperial Street." you whisper. you three look at each other and don't hesitate getting up before heading out the door.

"why would he be here?" you ask whispering. "I don't know." Nick responds as you three walk up to the worn down house. you look at the two of them and gulp, "what if we see something we shouldn't?" you ask. "we have no choice. we need to know what he's been hiding." Nick adds on. you look at the broken door and let out a breath. "come on." Chris says as you and Nick follow behind quietly. your heart was racing. what could he be possibly doing? as soon as you head inside, you couldn't help but shudder. it was cold and you knew something wasn't right. Chris looks at his phone as he follows where the dot is.

which it lead you three to a horrifying sight in the broke down kitchen. before you let out a sound, Chris covers your mouth and pulls you to the side. Nick follows as he hits his back against the wall with his face in shock. "w-what was that?" Nick whispers. your heart was now pounding out of your chest as you replay what you saw in your head. Matt was leaned over a limp body that was clearly torn open. you could hear the noises come from his mouth around the corner. was he actually indulging someone’s insides right now? you thought to yourself as you felt your stomach twist in a knot. “h-how is that even possible?” you whisper shakily. “what do we do?” Nick says clutching his chest, breathing unsteadily. “what could we even do Nick? this is fucking terrifying.” Chris responds. “no shit! but that’s our brother! what do we do?” Nick responds quietly freaking out.

"we need to get out of here." Chris whispers. Nick agrees as he walks with Chris towards the door. Chris looks at you indicating for you to follow but you just stay frozen. "come on" he mouths. but the two brothers then rush out when a noise from the air tag plays in Matt's jacket.

you peek your head around the corner as you watch Matt stop what he's doing to reach into his pocket, pulling out the small device. he shoots his head up as he looks around. "fuck." he mutters out. he stands up and looks at the body on the ground. you let out a small gasp as you get a clearer view of the person. Matt then locks eyes with you as he speaks, "who's there?" you step out slowly as you gulp, standing there in shock. you see his eyes soften as he stares at you. "Y-Y/n... what are you doing here?" he stutters out. all you do is look down at the body again shaking. "Y/n please listen to me." he says stepping closer to you but he stops when he sees you back away terrified. you clutch onto your stomach as tears roll down your eyes, "w-what is this?" you say as your breath hitches. "It's not what it looks like-" he says but you interrupt him. "t-to me it looks as clear as day. y-you were just fucking eating some innocent person's insides."

all he does is shake his head before responding, "y/n, you know I would never do something like this." "then what is this?!" you shout in fear. "I-i don't know!" Matt shouts back. "I don't know what made me like this. it's scaring me Y/n. I kept myself distant because I know how this looks. it's unbelievable." he continues. "I know your scared. but this isn't me Y/n. you know this." he says but suddenly hold his head in pain. "fuck!" he yells out. "Y/n please..." he weakly mutters. your heart aches at his voice. he was right. you knew he would never do this. you could tell he didn't want any of this to happen.

"I need help y/n." he says with a sadden expression. you look around on the floor, stepping into a puddle of blood. "please help me." he whispers desperately. you look up at him and gulp. "this is bad…" you whisper. “i know! but i can’t function without doing this. i can’t eat real food.” he says wiping his mouth. your eyes are still on the deceased person. still trying to wrap your head around it. “who even is this Matt?” you say before gulping. “i-i don’t know. that’s the thing. i don’t even realize i’m doing all this until last minute. so i don’t know any of the people.” he replies. “please y/n just help me.” he adds on. you look at him as you give him a blank stare. “tell me what to do…” you whisper.

you couldn’t just let him deal with all of this alone. you needed to find out more. he nods and next thing you know, you were helping him drag a big trash bag into the back yard of the abandoned house.

Chris

Y/n?! are you okay?!

"fuck Nick she's not responding!" Chris says freaking out. "Chris calm down! Matt would never hurt her." Nick says reassuring his shaking brother. “that was not Matt!” Chris exclaims. “that was some type of creature. that wasn’t our brother.” Nick shakes his head before responding, “no matter what he turned to, he’s still our brother!” Chris looks at him as he stops pacing around, “if someone catches him, people might mistake us for him.” Chris says. Nick’s face drops as he thinks about it. “you’re right…” he replies.

the bag hits the dirt with a thud. you stand there quietly as you watch Matt handle this situation. you flinch when you hear the shovel hit the ground. "don't tell anyone Y/n." Matt says looking at you with a look you remembered. you just stand there still in shock with a blank expression. "come on lets go home." Matt says taking your hand softly as he walks the both of you out. when you look down at your shoes, you notice how dirty they were from helping and the fresh red stains. you look up straight ahead as you ask a question in your mind, "what did i just get myself into?"

when you arrive at his house, Chris and Nick right away jump at the sight. you and Matt were hand in hand with your clothes dirty and bloodied. you gulp as you let go of Matt’s hand. “i need a shower.” you whisper out, walking past the two boys and straight to the bathroom. Chris and Nick’s eyes stare at Matt nervously. “so you saw?” Matt says not breaking eye contact. all the boys could do was stare at him and nod hesitantly. Matt was about to speak but, he decided to just head straight to his room, leaving the brothers with unanswered questions.

A/N: this is different from my usual stuff. let me know if you guys enjoyed reading! - L🤍

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n4giism · 8 months

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⇢ ˗ˏˋ in a trance by malcolm todd ࿐ྂ

blue lock x fem!reader

characters: reo mikage, kenyu yukimiya, shouei barou

content: part 3 of weird/bad habits they have. reader wears glasses in reo's, also a bit of cursing (reo), aged up (yukimiya) and yukki can drive lol, barou is a secret swiftie in denial.

ari's note: i looove yukki sm he's my second fav after nagi omg i love yukimiya i love him sm he is so underrated <3333

part 1. part 2.

reo mikage: eating pizza with cutlery

"hey, i'm hungry." reo said as he rolled on the bed, landing next to you. he lay on his tummy and rested his face on his palms, looking up at you as you did work on your laptop beside him on your bed.

"hm, me too." you replied, feeling your stomach grumble a little.

"whaddya wanna eat?" he asked, sitting up cross-legged, resting his chin on your shoulder as an attempt to peek at the work you were doing.

"it's up to you. i'm still busy, so you can choose." you mumbled, pushing up your glasses and continued typing away on your laptop. reo kept quiet until he decided on what he wanted to eat.

"let's eat caviar."

"what the fuck? that's so expensive, reo." you shook your head, your attention now on reo after he suggested that ridiculously expensive food for a normal lunch.

"what? i had it for dinner a few nights ago with my parents." he said, confused. you sighed. he was from a rich family, after all. of course he had fancy meals 3 times a day.

"we can eat caviar." he pouted.

"no."

"yes."

"we should save caviar and any other fancy meal for an important day; like our anniversary, or our birthdays." you suggested. you couldn't imagine eating things like caviar, foie grass and other expensive meats on a daily basis. reo hummed in reply, "alright, fine. caviar is good though."

"let's just eat pizza, is that okay?" you asked and reo nodded excitedly.

"yes! i haven't had pizza in sooooo long!"

you rolled your eyes playfully and chuckled. he had steak and other fancy foods everyday, but something as simple and delicious as pizza was a rarity to him.

you pulled out your phone and ordered some pizza to be delivered to your house and continued with your work. reo stayed with you the entire time, changing his position ever so often; from laying his head on your lap, or wrapping his arms around your waist.

soon, the doorbell rung and reo went to answer it. the pizza had arrived. you asked him to bring the pizza to your room and that you'd eat there. reo took quite awhile though. did he trip and fall on his way or something?

you were completely immersed in your work in your laptop, until you heard the clinking of cutlery and plates.

"reo?" you called, looking up from your laptop.

he emerged from the door, holding the pizza box and 2 plates, along with forks and knives.

"reo, why the heck did you bring the fork and knives? and what's with the plates?" you questioned, puzzled.

"what? it's to eat the pizza with, of course." he replied nonchalantly and settled on your bed.

he placed a slice of pizza on his plate and begun cutting it with his fork and knife. he was eating the pizza like how he'd eat steak. you watched silently, mouth parted as you watched your purple haired boyfriend continue with his meal.

"y/n? come on, eat up! i'll cut up a slice for you!"

you couldn't say anything and reo took the silence as an 'okay, i allow you to cut up my pizza.'

you didn't have the heart to tell him that pizza could just be eaten with your barehands just like that, and that there was no need for plates or cutlery. you'd have to teach him about the way average people do, and how it's different from the way the rich do.

kenyu yukimiya: speeding up when driving over a bridge

the day had finally come for the long awaited road trip you and your boyfriend, yukimiya, have planned! it was a day trip on the road to a resort somewhere very far from where the two of you lived. it was a 24 hour car ride, but you didn't mind it since you would be with yukki throughout. he's gotten his license a few months ago and he drives really well!

he rarely gets road rage, and he knows when to slow down or speed up. he would drive you to school, or anywhere in general and it was perfect since he'd let you handle the music. you knew this road trip with him would be perfect. nothing sounds better than being in a car with your loved one, music filling your ears, the ac turned on and just being in the lovely presence that yukki radiated.

everything was going fine. you were 2 hours in the trip and had made 2 stops at previous gas stations to get food and water, as well as use the bathroom and get a stretch break from being seated in the car.

soon, you looked up ahead and noticed a bridge. with water underneath it. it was like a reservoir and there were many other cars driving across the big bridge. you could see tall buildings in the distance across the bridge and it excited you that you would be driving past a nearby city!

the stereo was playing your shared playlist with yukki and he was humming along to the song while you told him some funny stories.

upon reaching the bridge, however, you almost. almost. met your death.

okay, that may be an exaggeration. but it truly felt like you almost saw the light.

yukki, who was driving at a speed of 50km/h, suddenly increased it to 102km/h, as he sped across the bridge.

"it was so funny, i almost died of laughter- h-hey! yukki?!" you jolted as he suddenly sped up halfway through one of your stories.

"hold on!" he replied, pushing his glasses up and running a hand through his hair.

"y-yukki!? what's gotten into you! oh my god, be careful! you almost hit that truck!" you screamed a bit as he accelerated even more and more. you didn't even dare to look over to his side to see what his speed was.

it already felt like he was going at 1000km/h, even though that was not possible, but it really felt that way. you could hear the zooming of your car tires on the road, all the other cars passing by you swiftly. if the car windows were open, you're sure your hair would be flying everywhere.

he was changing lanes quickly, going left, right, then left again, then staying in the middle, then going left and right and so on. he was dodging all the cars in his way, speeding up even faster as he did so.

"yukki! oh my god, slow down! you're gonna get us killed!" you wailed, clutching the pillow on your lap and holding it tight. yukki showed no signs of slowing down. his face remained calm and focused as he continued his pursuit.

he might as well become a race car driver if he wants to drive at this ridiculous speed, you thought.

as soon as the car got off the long bridge, yukki slowed down to the normal 50km/h speed once more.

"you idiot! what was that all about? fantasizing being a race car driver, yukki?!" you scolded, catching your breath and wiping the beads of sweat that had formed on your forehead. it was so intense, the ac was turned on yet you were sweating and panting from that drive.

"race car driver? i was just driving normally, silly." he chuckled, pulling over at the nearest gas station and parked the car. you had never, ever, seen yukki drive at anything more than 80km/h.

"you've never drove that fast before..." you whined, meeting his eyes.

"yeah? that's 'cause we've never had to drive over a bridge back at home." he chuckled light-heartedly and pushed his glasses up.

you looked at him, confusion written all over your face, "what's that supposed to mean? why do we need to speed up over a bridge?"

"in case it collapses." he answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

you sucked in air through gritted teeth and frowned, "you stupid four eyes."

he tilted his head as you got out of the car, walking to the bathroom, leaving a confused yukki.

"what? y/n! are you not anxious that the bridge might fall!?" he called out from behind you, locking the car and chasing after you.

shouei barou: using songs as timers

"hm? not going to the gym today?" you asked as you saw your boyfriend still at home. it was 11am and normally by now, barou would be at the gym until 1pm.

he shook his head, "nah, decided to stay home and work out instead. i'm gonna start now, actually."

you shrugged and gave him a thumbs up. you left him to do his workout in peace so you went to the kitchen to make something to eat. however, you started hearing familiar lyrics and a tune...

they sounded like... shake it off? by taylor swift?

you thought you were going crazy and was just hallucinating her voice in your head until you realised the song was actually playing. leaving the kitchen, you followed the muffled tune of the song which led you to the living room where barou would be working out.

and there, you saw the music video playing on the tv, along with barou lifting weights and doing squats as taylor continued singing in the back.

"sho? i didn't know you listened to taylor swift..." you choked down a laugh at the thought of barou singing to taylor's songs.

"what? i don't!" he replied mid-squat. "just usin' her songs as a timer. once she reaches the second verse i'll switch to another workout." he explained, red forming on his cheeks and ears.

"heh, whatever you say. nothing wrong with enjoying taylor, though." you giggled, whispering that last part but just loud enough for him to ear. he clicked his tongue.

"tch, whatever. she's okay."

you waved your hand, dismissing the topic and retreating back to the kitchen. as you cooked a meal, you heard different songs from taylor swift playing. maybe he really is a fan.

end.

hey queens sorry for the late upload😍 this took awhile cus my back really hurts when typing on my laptop omd so i just kept putting this on hold but here it is!!!

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jenniferjareauwife · 2 months

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Jj x fem reader with AFRID its a type of eating disorder type thing.

Completely fine if you don't want to write xx

Sandwich

pairing: jennifer jareau x fem reader

category: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: eating disorder

word count: 800

summary: you suffer from arfid and your girlfriend helps you through it

I paced around the conference room with Spence while we tried to come up with the geographical profile. We had managed to narrow it down between ten miles but that was it. We couldn't have police patrol 10 square miles, there aren't enough troops. I could feel the anxiety radiating off of Spence which wasn't making anything better.

"Come on. You two take a break." I heard JJ's voice once the door opened and I knew it was going to be ok. "You've been at it for hours and I haven't seen any of you eat or take a break." She gave me a side eye and I looked at the ground.

Spence left the room, giving JJ and I the space. "So...how are you doing?" I asked her.

"Good. We're getting further in the case. How are you?"

"I'm ok."

"Have you eaten anything yet?"

"Um...no." She knew my struggles with eating and she understood them but she also looked out for me, kept me in a good place. She knew I was struggling right now and wanted to make sure I was staying healthy.

"Well then let's take a break, eat something?"

"JJ..." I let out a sigh and gripped the back of one of the chairs, feeling anxiety bubble in my stomach.

"How long has it been since you ate?"

"Just like...I don't know...3 days-"

"3 days-"

"But I had smoothies!"

"Ok but smoothies have no protein or fat. You need solid food too. Come on honey, let's get to a sandwich or something." I shook my head. "Y/n I'm not asking."

"Can you just give me a minute?" I gripped the chair even tighter.

"Yeah...yeah of course. Can I go get a sandwich or do you want me to stay with you?" I nodded.

"Stay."

"Ok. Do you want a hug?" I shook my head.

"It's just gonna...I'm gonna...what if I like choke or something or what if I get sick-"

"Shh, honey that's not gonna happen." Her voice softened as she reached for my hands. "The odds of all of that happening-"

"But it can still happen." I breathed out. "And I...when I was younger I was eating an onion ring and the onion got stuck in my throat and I almost died."

"Shh, I know. I know." She caressed my hands softly and slowly, trying to keep eye contact with me. "Just take a few deep breaths, calm down."

"I can't- can't I just make a smoothie-"

"My love you haven't had solid food in 3 days and you've lost weight-"

"But I didn't mean to!"

"I know you didn't mean to." She kept her voice soft. "And I'm not mad at you, I just want to be here for you."

"But I-"

"Shh. Just breathe. It's ok." She held my face in her hands and caressed my cheeks. "It's ok. I'm gonna go downstairs and get your sandwich and then I'll stay with you as you eat it, yeah?" I gave a reluctant nod and sat down.

She came back with a BLT, watching me carefully as I tried to get all the bad thoughts out of my head. "It's ok. If you do end up choking I'll be here the whole time." I gave her a small nod and took a small bite of the sandwich. I chewed it slowly, making sure that there was no choking hazard before swallowing it. JJ kept her hand on my back, rubbing it soothingly. "Just like that. Take it one bite at a time."

"One bite at a time?" I laughed softly and looked at her.

"Yes my love. One bite at a time." She moved closer to me, kissing my cheek. I took another small bite, feeling a little bit better. "There you go. See? It's not so hard is it." I shrugged and took another bite, still making sure to chew thoroughly.

"Thank you." I whispered, feeling my stomach thank me so I figured I should thank JJ.

"Of course baby. You know I'm always here for you. Now finish your sandwich, I'm not leaving until you do, ok?" I nodded.

"I'm gonna make you a smoothie when we get back home."

"Mm. Can I have a strawberry banana smoothie?"

"Of course. Those are my favorite too." She laughed and kissed my temple and before I knew it I had finished my sandwich. I took a deep breath, leaning back in my chair.

"You ok?" She reached for my hand instead.

"Yeah...yeah I'm good. Just hope I don't throw up." I joked weakly.

"You won't." She helped me stand up and then wrapped her arms around me. "I've gotta get back to work but call me or text me if you need anything."

"I will."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

#criminal minds #jennifer jareau #x reader #jennifer jareau x reader #lgbtq #wlw post #jennifer jareau x you

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notmaplemable · 1 year

Note

I missed a space while typing the phrase "A Ranged Option" and wrote 'ARAnged option" Which feels like it could be something, but I can't figure it out so I'm giving this potentially cursed idea to you.

like:

Jaune: I'm thinking about getting a gun-

Summer, a weapons expert: Ara Ara~

Weapons of Summer Love Part 1

Jaune: How's it looking Ren?

Ren: *Via scroll* Not great. The tower is mostly destroyed and grimm are swarming around the petrified Wyvern.

Jaune: No chance of getting close?

Ren: We got a few veteran huntsmen to agree to escort us to the tower to look for Pyrrha's weapons. Said they understood wanting to recover the weapons of a lost teammate.

Jaune: But not to get our hopes up?

Ren: ...Correct.

Jaune: Right... Try to stay as safe as you can. Both of you. If things start looking too hairy-

Ren: We'll retreat if we feel it's necessary.

Jaune: Thanks Ren. I-I'm sorry that I can't be out there with you guys.

Ren: With Ruby in the condition she is, and Yang... We understand that you need to be there for them.

Jaune: ...I'll see you both soon. *Ends call*

Jaune: *Puts his scroll away, walks into Ruby's room, sits down on a chair next to a still unconscious Ruby's red*

Jaune: Sorry Ruby, I had to step out a second to talk to Ren.

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Ren and Nora are going to go up with some other huntsmen to try to find Pyrrha's weapons and some of her armor. Since apparently she... well I guess you would know. Since you saw her when she...

Jaune: ...

Jaune: I'm sorry Ruby. If I was just stronger, you wouldn't have had to see that... Pyrrha would still be here... Yang wouldn't have... *Sighs*

Summer: *Standing in the doorway* Jaune?

Jaune: Oh! Sorry Ms. Rose. I didn't see your there.

Summer: Hmm, well I'm done with lunch if you want any.

Jaune: I don't think I'm hungry.

Summer: You haven't eaten anything since you got here Jaune. Come down and eat.

Jaune: I'm fine, really.

Summer: You got here three day ago. Now, come down and eat before I drag your butt down to the kitchen.

Jaune: ...You'd really do that?

Summer: Follow me and you won't have to find out.

Jaune: *Chuckles* Okay... I guess I could eat a little.

Summer: Good.

***Later in the kitchen***

Summer: *Eating quietly at the kitchen table, watching Jaune*

Jaune: *Moving his food around with a fork*

Summer: So, how are your parents doing? It's been awhile since I got to talk with Blanche.

Jaune: I don't know... I haven't talked to them since I left for Beacon.

Summer: You haven't talked with your parents for nearly a year?

Jaune: Guess not.

Summer: You should call them then. At least send a letter.

Jaune: ...What would I even tell them? That I got one of team killed and need them to come pick me up.

Summer: That you were in Vale when the fall occurred. You're safe, but you lost one of your friends and that you're staying somewhere safe while everything is sorted out.

Jaune: ...Right.

Summer: But I think there's something else on your mind, isn't there?

Jaune: ...

Summer: I know you send your friends, Ren and Nora, up to find Pyrrha's weapons and armor.

Jaune: How do you know?

Summer: I heard your call earlier.

Jaune: Oh.

Summer: And Qrow is one of the huntsmen going up with them. He told me.

Jaune: ...

Summer: What do you plan on doing with them after you recover them?

Jaune: ...I was thinking of using some parts to upgrade Crocea Mors and my armor. Give her circlet to Yang. Hopefully send something back to her parents after the travel restrictions are lifted.

Summer: *Nods* Anything else?

Jaune: ...I might also be considering some sort of ranged option, and since Ruby mentioned that you were a weapons expert, I was hoping that maybe you could give me some tips.

Summer: Hmm, well since you're kind of brick wall fighter, hard to break through your defenses but not the fastest, I'd say you'd want to get a weapon with some decent range. Probably not a full sniper like Ruby and I, but something that would be effective at medium and short ranges. Something you could switch to and from quickly so you can ready your shield to block oncoming attacks. Assuming you want to keep using Crocea Mors as your primary weapon.

Jaune: Umm, yeah I do, but-

Summer: We could also add some modifications to your shield so that you can use it as a bipod, which should add some extra stability for shots at range.

Jaune: Ms. Rose I-

Summer: You'd also need to be able to operate the weapon with one hand in that case. So not bold action, pump action, or lever action weapons. Semi-automatic or automatic would be best.

Jaune: ...

Summer: I think either a shotgun or a carbine would be your best choice.

Jaune: ...Okay... There's a small problem though.

Summer: Yeah?

Jaune: I've never actually fired a gun.

Summer: No problem. We have a firing range in the back yard.

Jaune: Of course you do.

#rwby #rwby au #rosebush knight #jaune arc #lie ren #summer rose #weapons of summer love au

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rynwritesstuff · 2 years

Note

i have a request, based on an hc from your last post! could you write something about getting depressed!eddie to eat more again post-vecna? thank you! <3

Anon, your request came in at the best time. I was literally sitting at my computer trying to brainstorm and I was coming up with nothing lol, so THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS IN, MWAH XOXO.

Eddie Munson x Reader

Warnings: Refusal to eat due to depression, pep talks

Helping depressed!Eddie eat post-Vecna - Headcanons

(A/N: This, once again, got pretty long, but I hope you still like it, my loves! I'm off to bed, but if anyone has more requests, I'll gladly write them tomorrow!! <3)

At first you think he's just refusing to eat because he's in the hospital, and all their food tastes undercooked and bland.

You persuade him to eat a bit of fruit and drink a few sips of water the first day. The second day, he eats a fourth of the portion of mashed potatoes, then immediately says that he feels nauseous and ill.

You don't want him to vomit, and you also don't want to stress him out, so you give up on the mashed potatoes and meatloaf.

On the third day, he tells you that he's feeling sick before he even puts anything in his mouth. This worries you deeply, because oh god, what if those monsters from the Upside Down fucked up his insides? What if there's something wrong that you don't really understand? Something that the doctors can't find?

He doesn't eat on the third day.

On the fourth day, they tell Eddie that he's well enough to head home. You've gotta keep a very, very close eye on him and bring him back if there are any issues at all, but you're so fucking excited to have him back in an environment that isn't' scary or foreign to him.

"Do you want me to order you a celebratory pizza?" you ask once the two of you walk into his trailer. "Maybe some Chinese?"

Eddie shakes his head, an almost bored expression on his face.

"I'm fine, sweetheart," he says softly. "Just wanna hold you."

You push away the concern and smile before cuddling up to him in his bed.

You're careful of his wounds, not wanting to hurt him.

The two of you doze off, and when you wake up, you're startled to find that it's around midnight.

Eddie hasn't eaten in two days, now, and you're beating yourself up as you hastily prepare him some instant ramen noodles for when he wakes up.

How could you let him do this? How could you let him go this long without eating? Some partner you are.

You wake him gently, holding the bowl of ramen, and Eddie looks up at you. His face scrunches up.

"No, thanks," he says when you tell him what you've brought.

"Sorry, baby," you say, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. "It isn't an offer. You haven't eaten in days, you're scaring me."

Eddie doesn't want to scare you. He doesn't want to trigger any type of negative emotions at all, and the mere thought of causing you distress has his delicate mind spiraling.

"I'm sorry," Eddie says quietly, taking the warm bowl of noodles from your hands. He takes a small bite, then another, then another.

You smile at him, rubbing his shoulder as he eats.

"You're doing really well, Eds. I'm proud of you."

"Can I be done?" he asks once he's finished half the bowl. You sigh.

"I'd really like for you to finish them," you say. Eddie chews at his lip.

"I feel gross," he says softly.

"I'm sure you do, baby. You haven't had anything in your stomach in two days."

"I just . . . I'm not hungry. I don't wanna throw up."

You nod after a few beats of silence.

"I know you don't," you say, taking the bowl. "You can be done for tonight, baby, but I need you to eat more tomorrow, okay?"

You know this is likely due to the depression that his incident caused, and it pains you to see him like this.

Eddie nods.

"Sure, sweetheart. Whatever you want."

You kiss his temple and squeeze his hand.

"Can you drink some water?"

Eddie nods, and you bring him a glass. You're pleased with how much he drinks, and although he can't even bring himself to get up and brush his teeth for the night, you're glad he at least has some food in his system.

"We'll work on this," you tell him once you've changed into PJ's and have re-cuddled up next to him. "It'll get easier with time. I promise."

#rynwritesstuff #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fandom #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie stranger things #stranger things #stranger things fandom #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson headcanons #tw: depression #tw: food

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silverynight · 1 year

Text

Underworld

<---Previous

Part VI

Tenya can see the concern in All Might's features as soon as he tells him about the situation regarding the demigod, Midoriya Izuku.

"We can't have an endless winter. Everything will die if this stays the same."

Yes, that's exactly what Tenya was thinking about when Todoroki told him about his powers; it makes sense for him to have so much control on the mortal realm, since he's the son of a very strong god. But he knows All Might can't and won't let this to escalate even more.

"Midoriya is not dead," he suddenly says, surprising Tenya. "I've seen the boy before because his mother prays for him a lot in my temple. She's a nice woman and has asked me to keep an eye on him. And so I have. He's really kind to everyone and more powerful than he thinks."

"Do you know where he is, Sir?"

All Might sighs, looking sad. That's more than enough to know the answer, but the king of the gods still says: "Unfortunately, no. I wasn't looking at him when he disappeared. However, I know he is alive because I can feel his life force now. It's quite strong."

"So perhaps he just ran away?"

"Young Midoriya would never leave his mother... At least not like that."

"What do we do now?"

"Call all the gods and tell them to meet me here."

"Do you think one of them is involved in this, Sir?"

"Most likely. Hurry up, before winter gets worse."

***

Izuku feels bad for leaving the cute dog to sleep on the floor, but he's too big to sleep on the bed next to him. However, he stays for a while with him, until Dynamight relaxes before Izuku jumps on the bed and goes back to sleep.

In the morning a soft knock at the door wakes him up, Dynamight is wagging his tail excitedly, although to Izuku's momentarily confusion, the big dog is staring at the side door instead of the entrance.

That's when Izuku realizes it must be Bakugo.

"Just a second!" He says before quickly putting on a new dress. That one doesn't cover his back at all, but it's okay because the place is warm that day. "You can come in now, Kacchan!"

Bakugo gets "attacked" by a very happy Dynamight who ends up licking his cheeks even though the god tells him not to.

The scene makes Izuku chuckle and realize, that even though he misses the mortal realm, he really enjoys being in the underworld. It has started to feel like home, although he's aware he'll have to get on a ship eventually...

"You two are really cute!" He beams, knowing Bakugo doesn't like to hear those types of compliments.

"Cute? I'm anything but–" Bakugo chokes as soon as he notices what Izuku's wearing. He seems to have forgotten he was irritated a few seconds ago. "It looks good on you."

"Thanks, Kacchan!" Izuku says before turning around to start petting each of the dog's head. He gets a little bit startled when he feels a warm hand on his lower back for a moment. Bakugo has gotten used to put his hands on his waist very often, although this time it feels a little bit different because there's no fabric in between his skin and the god's palm.

"You also have freckles on your back," Bakugo comments. To Izuku's surprise, he's blushing to the tip of his ears.

"Yes," Izuku giggles. "I told you my body is covered in them!"

Bakugo seems to get flustered at that, but he doesn't move his hand away. It's okay actually, Izuku doesn't mind.

"Are we going to cheer up some souls today?" He asks, excited; he's already thinking about all the flower crowns he's going to make. "I can't wait to see the children!"

Bakugo looks at him fondly, he cups Izuku's face with one hand, making him feel small; the king of the underworld is very tall.

"That sounds like an excellent idea, but we must have breakfast first... You haven't eaten–"

"I have," Izuku cuts him off, pointing at the basket. There's still a couple of food inside, but not much. Everything was absolutely delicious.

For some reason, Bakugo looks relieved; Izuku thinks that maybe he was worried about him, although... He's not supposed to feel hungry, right? He remembers Kirishima explained to him that the people in the underworld still eat though, just for the pleasure of it; they still can taste the food after all. However, they only eat food from that place.

Now that he thinks about it, Ashido brought that basket from the mortal realm for him. For a second he thinks about asking Bakugo, but something tells him he shouldn't.

"Ha! I bet the food here is better than anything you have ever tasted, isn't that so, nerd?"

"Y-Yes!" Izuku says, feeling like a terrible person for lying.

"Well... I think we can see a couple of souls before leaving Dynamight back in–"

There's a knock at the entrance door. Bakugo narrows his eyes immediately and opens it with irritation.

"I hope it's important because I was–"

"It is," Kirishima cuts him off, looking pale. Izuku immediately worries and gets closer to him.

"Are you alright?"

"Of course, Midoriya!" He says, although he doesn't look okay at all. He's clearly nervous, almost afraid. "Everything's fine! It's just... There's someone who wants to talk with Bakugo in the throne room."

"Alright," Bakugo nods, looking suddenly tense. However, when he turns around he tries to smile at Izuku. "Why don't you go ahead and wait for me at the docks with Dynamight. I'll be with you soon."

Izuku nods, knowing it's probably none of his business, but still a little bit worried.

There's something going on.

***

Mina tries not to look nervous in front of the herald; he hasn't say a word about what he's doing there, but she knows. It's about Midoriya.

It has to be.

When Kirishima and Bakugo walk in the throne room, Iida moves his head down as a form of respect.

To Bakugo's credit, he doesn't look nervous, it's almost like he's bored, although Mina knows him and she can tell when he's not quite relaxed.

He must know what this is about.

"I have a lot of things to do here so spit it out," the King of the underworld grumbles like he usually does.

Iida rolls his eyes; he's used to Bakugo's personality at this point, even though he doesn't go down to the underworld quite often.

"All Might requests your presence. He has something important to tell you."

"To me?"

"To all the gods," Iida says.

"What does he want to tell us?" Bakugo huffs with irritation or that's the impression he wants to give, but he must be as distressed as Mina is at the moment.

"I'm not allowed to say. You must attend the meeting."

"Right now?"

"At noon."

"Tell the old man I'll be there."

Iida nods, although he grimaces when Bakugo refers to All Might as "the old man" however, he doesn't say anything about that. It's not the first time Bakugo calls him that.

When Iida goes... Mina feels like she can breathe again. Kirishima still looks pale though. She's glad they told Kaminari to stay with Midoriya because no matter how much she loves him, Kaminari is not known for keeping secrets, especially when he's nervous.

"Bakugo, this is your opportunity to let Midoriya go..."

"No," the king almost growls at Kirishima.

"Come on! You can still fix this!" Mina says, almost desperate and a little bit upset because of how stubborn and stupid that god is. "I'm pretty sure he doesn't know it's you, but he knows it's one of the gods already."

"You don't know if this about my Izuku," Bakugo growls, however, he starts pacing around the room like he's in distress.

"She's right, Bakubro..." Kirishima cuts in, with a worried expression on his face. "You'll get in trouble for this. Listen, even if Midoriya goes back, you can still visit him in the mortal realm and court him there!"

"No! That half and half bastard is gonna try to steal him from me!" The god retorts as his palms emit little explosions, he's getting angrier.

Mina knows he's suffered without Midoriya; when he thought the best thing for the demigod was to stay away from the underworld, but no matter how much Bakugo needs him, he can't get himself in this kind of trouble.

"Midoriya will find out eventually... And when he does he'll get mad at you," she hates to point that out, but Bakugo needs an emotional slap to do what's right. He needs to snap out of his madness.

The king's expression twists in pain, Mina doesn't like it, but he's her friend and she has to help him.

"He won't find out," he blurts out, stubbornly. Bakugo is so afraid of losing Midoriya he can't see the right path at the moment. "Besides, it's too late now because he ate something from my realm, which means he can't go back now. Those are the rules."

"Did you give him food? That's not manly, Bakubro, you should've told him."

"There was a basket in his room, I didn't actually give him anything..." However, Bakugo still looks guilty because he probably wanted Midoriya to eat, he wanted him to stay.

Mina knows that's her basket though, which means Midoriya is still free to go, but she can't tell that to the king of the dead at the moment.

"They'll find out..."

"They won't."

Mina sighs; she's not Nighteye, which means she can't actually see the future, but she's sure this isn't going to end well. Bakugo and Midoriya will end up hurt.

She knows her friend is not bad, but he had never been in love before and this feeling hit him way too hard for him to think of the consequences. Bakugo is so terrified of losing Midoriya... that he's doing everything the wrong way...

But she doesn't know what to do. She wishes there was a way to fix this.

***

Next--->

Patreon

#hades and persephone au #bnha #mha #my hero academia #bkdk #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #izuku midoriya

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insomniacdreammerbb · 11 months

Text

Synopsis: a slow burn love story of my favorite chaotic mess of a man Dieter Brave and F!reader. 18+ eventually, minors dni

Trigger warnings: mentions of drugs, death, death by overdose, domestic abuse. Eventually smut.

Authors Note: I haven't written in years, but I have fallen down the rabbit hole of so many talented writers here on tumblr with Pedro Pascal character fanfics. I’m a sucker for a good slow burn, smutty, fluffy love story. Goal is to keep it around or under ten chapters. Any feedback would be appreciated! Also I’m new to tumblr and don’t really know how to use the platform so any advice on that would be nice too.

Chapter One

You cringe when your phone rang for the fourth time today. This is what it was like when Dieter had nothing to do. He’d constantly be blowing up your phone asking you where you put the sex toys that he’d ordered, what's next on his schedule for press or shoots or sometimes it’d be even something more ridiculous like if you believed that Octopuses were really aliens that landed on earth from a meteor. He’d be like this whenever he didn’t have someone to keep him company or in between projects.

“Yes boss?” You answered as you placed your iphone on speaker as you continued typing away at your MacBook finishing up Deiter’s reservation at a resort up in Canada for a project next year.

“What am I doing this weekend?” Dieter asks not bothering to greet you first, this was normal.

You clocked on the calendar on your MacBook, “You have a podcast with Stephen from Vanity Fair Saturday morning at eleven. Other than that your day is free.”

“Hey set me up a reservation for the Marriott in the Marina,” Dieter began barking, “and book two seats for the sunset cruise and dinner on the bay.”

You opened up google typing in the resort, you were used to Dieter giving you demands like this.

“Two seats?” You questioned him and you clicked book now, “who are you going with?”

“A friend,” Dieter replied sheepishly.

“A friend?” You repeated with a raised eyebrow, “Who is it? I’m gonna have to put her name on the second seat for the cruise so you’re gonna have to tell me anyways.”

Dieter was quiet for a moment, “Lola.”

“You gotta be kidding me,” You said, rolling your eyes, “her again?”

“What she’s hot,” Dieter responded, you could practically see her pouty puppy dog eyes he had as he spoke, “and her and her ex just broke up.”

“Again?”

“Yes, again,” Dieter said dramatically, “she’s on the rebound and slumming it and I’m loving it.”

You rolled your eyes again, “you know you don’t have to pick women who are slumming it just to get laid you know. There’s plenty of beautiful women all over L.A. who would happily spend an evening on a sunset cruise. Why do you need to pick the wicked witch of the L.A.?”

“See that’s where you’re wrong,” Dieter began to say, “Those women only wanna hang out with me because I’m a big time movie star. They dont really give a fuck about me.”

“And you think Lola does?” You pointed out.

“No not really,” Dieter said with a hint of sadness in his voice, “but honestly fuck it. I just wanna go out on the ocean, eat some good food and then eat some good pussy. Lola’s good for that.”

“Alright,” you said, conceding knowing that this was a time old argument the two of you have had many times. You knew that it wouldn’t go anywhere and you still had too much to do today to spend the time arguing.

“Do you want the all inclusive romantic suite with, jacuzzi bathtub with an ocean view or would you rather have the scintillating views of downtown LA with the wood burning fireplace?” You asked reading through the options of the luxury suites that were offered.

“Hm they both sound nice,” Dieter said mulling it over in his head, “where would you rather get eaten out? In front of the fireplace or on the edge of the jacuzzi tub?”

Neither, you thought to yourself. Your boyfriend that you’ve been dating for the last few months didn’t really like eating you out and wasn’t all that good at it.

“It’s the middle of June,” you pointed out, “it’s too hot for a fire. But then again knowing you and Lola you’ll be all over that room before the nights over.”

“I know,” Dieter said with a small growl of anticipation in his voice as he palmed himself through his sweats thinking about it, “Fuck it, give me the jacuzzi ocean room.”

“You got it boss,” you said, selecting the room.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the only sounds were the clicking of the keyboard on your MacBook and Dieter’s low breathing. Once you finished all the bookings you said, “I’m forwarding your reservation and the tickets to your email.”

“Thanks,” Dieter muses and then mechanically says, “what are you doing this weekend?”

“Matt’s taking me to that new Italian place 7th St,” you responded.

“Oh so Matty Cakes finally decided to step up his game and take you someplace nicer than Wok n’ Roll?” Dieter teased.

“Hey I love Wok n’ Roll,” you pushed back, “And not everyone can afford a sunset dinner cruise for dinner. Some of us are just regular people instead of big superstar actors.”

“Urgh thank God I’m not one of those,” Dieter responded.

You and Dieter had been friends for nearly ten years now. You met for the first time at your drug dealer's house, the two of you happened to be buying cocaine at the same time. Honestly you don’t even really remember the details the first time you met. You had come to LA to try to be a dancer while also attending UCLA. You had spent most of your early twenties shamelessly partying, doing drugs to keep your energy up to dance, working as a bartender, and going to school. You hadn’t declared a major in anything, you had a long list of ideas of what you wanted to do but couldn't decide on any one thing.

You and Dieter would spend a year running into each other before you two really became friends. You ran into each other at your dealer's house, at the bar where you worked and even a few parties. At the time Dieter had been a smaller actor, getting a few small parts as a supporting cast in a few movies and a handful of appearances on Law and Order. You two would make small talk, giving life updates in between weeks or months of not seeing each other.

One thing was perfectly clear from the moment you met Dieter. He was absolutely handsome and he knew it and was a total slut. But despite that he never did hit on you. Albeit you had a different circle of friends and there was a never ending line of hot women that threw themselves at Dieter. He was also twelve years your senior which may have played a part in why he never hit on you.

Your life had come crashing down one night in October. When you had moved out to LA to attend school you already had a brother living out here. He had left your home town a few years back. He was the one that had convinced you to move out here and to apply for UCLA. Your brother was your best friend, you had been so mad when he announced that he was moving out to LA when you were still a teenager stuck at home.

Then everything went to shit. You had gotten a call from Cedar Sinai letting you know that Brandon had overdosed. You were beyond devastated and catatonic for months after that. You had stopped eating, gotten fired from the bar you worked at because you kept calling out and dropped out of classes because you couldn't keep up with the work anymore. You spent endless months in your tiny shitty apartment, only ever leaving for groceries. It was then and there that you had decided to quit. You flushed everything you had and never did any drugs since then.

Then about six months after Brandon’s death you were sitting at an Ihop at 3am. You needed to get out of your apartment after months of being a recluse and you only picked his Ihop because there was no one else in it. Then Dieter walked in alone and went to sit at the counter and ordered a coffee. You sat in the booth, minding your own business until Dieter saw you.

He exclaimed excitedly about how he hasn’t seen you in awhile. How he even went to the bar you worked at asking for you. Your drug dealer had told Dieter that it’d been months since he had seen you. You were surprised to hear this from the eccentric actor. However a few breaths in Dieter had picked up that something was wrong. He sat in the booth across from you, inquiring what happened.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. You had told him everything that had happened. He stared at you with those damn puppy dog eyes and listened diligently. He was deeply sympathetic and kind to you that night. You had told him about how you were about to get kicked out of your apartment because you were behind on the rent and out of money. How you had considered moving back home.

Dieter had talked you out of it. He ended up getting you a job as his personal assistant and let you live in his guest house that was off the main house up on the hill in Sherman Oaks. He paid you well, even set you up with his therapist that apparently made house calls. His therapist would come visit Dieter at the main house and then send him to the guest house for you. You always gushed to Dieter about how you couldn't afford to live in Sherman Oaks and a therapist who made house calls. But Dieter insisted, that was the thing about Dieter. If you could get into his inner circle he was loyal to the death. You weren’t exactly sure how you got there but you did.

As the years had dawned on you two had developed a deep friendship. He never once attempted to hit on you which you kind of appreciated. You appreciated Dieter as a friend far more than a lover. That was the curious irony of Dieter, he was loyal to a fault but also went through lovers and girlfriends like you went through your socks. Dieter was far too chaotic for your tastes. It was entertaining to sit on the side lines and watch him make a total ass of himself. He also landed a few dream roles over the years and became a superstar and you were thankful that you got to play a part of that. He really was a brilliant actor and a good friend when he wasn’t being a pain in the ass.

Hours later you were standing in front of the mirror near the front door, putting on the finishing touches to your make up. Matt had texted you saying he was a few minutes away. You grabbed your light blue denim coat and threw it over your black dress and made your way out the guest house. The main house was attached to a long paved driveway that was about thirty feet away from the guest house. A black SUV was parked near the door, a man in a suit was opening the back passenger door.

Lola stepped out wearing a short white skirt with a red tank top with a deep V neck, her bleach blond hair was styled in big curls and an ostentatious diamond necklace laid gently between her tits. She had her face hidden behind big sunglasses and didn’t even give you a second glance. Dieter quickly appeared at the front door making his way down the front steps.

“Damn baby,” He said eyeing her up and down quickly, “You looking fuckin’ amazing.”

“Thank’s hun,” she said, throwing her arms around him as he came down to her.

Dieter immediately placed his hand on her ass as he kissed her deeply. Afterward he looked up at you.

“Damn little black dress tonight?” Dieter said, looking you over while he kept his hand on her Lola’s ass, “Matty Cakes finally getting lucky tonight?”

“You better not call him that when he gets here,” you shot him a warning look, “You know he hates it.”

“I know that's why I keep calling him that,” Dieter smirked playfully, “it’s funny to see him get all pissed.”

You couldn’t tell but you were pretty sure that Lola was rolling her eyes behind her Armani sunglasses.

“So did Dieter tell you that he’s taking me on a sunset cruise tonight?” She chimed in, running her hands up and down Dieters chest while keeping her eyes on you.

“Nope sounds romantic,” you smirked while Deiter looked down at his pleather shoes sheepishly.

“He really is,” Lola said, glancing between him and you, “and then we’re staying at the Marriott near the marina. He really is the sweetest.”

This was something Lola had done from the beginning. You could tell she was the jealous type, she always made a bit of a scene of staking her claim in Dieter in front of you. Despite the fact that you and Dieter had repeatedly told her you two were just friends, Lola still liked to dangle Dieter in front of your face like a shiny toy. Dieter always seemed to tune out whenever she did, he didn’t care for the drama that Lola always seemed to start.

“So where’s Matt taking you tonight? That tacky Chinese place down by the beach?” Lola questioned while still hanging off Dieter.

“Um no we’re going to that new Italian place that just opened up,” You replied trying to be civil.

“Oh I’ve been there so many times already,” Lola purred as if she were bored with the conversation, “word of advice if you wanna fit into that dress of your come summer order a salad. Their pasta dishes are huge.”

“Thanks Lola,” you nodded sarcastically, you were used to her many backhanded compliments.

“Alright well I’m bored,” Dieter said turning back in, “let’s go baby, I wanna go get on the boat already.”

He turned her around and slapped her ass as the two of them climbed into the SUV. As they were pulling out of the driveway Matt’s car drove up and pulled to a stop near you. You went to go get in until he turned the car off and got out.

”Hey, you ready to go?” You asked curiously as he got out.

“Actually we need to talk,” he said as he placed his arms on the hood of the car.

You felt your stomach flip at his words but also wasn’t surprised. In fact you were surprised by the fact that you weren’t surprised by what he was saying, “Okay.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t think this is working out for me.”

“Okay,” you said glumly, “why?”

“I just can’t stop thinking about what you had said last time you were over at my apartment when we were watching that movie,” he went on to explain.

“What I said when?” You said trying to rack your brain that night.

“What you said after I finally got you to go down on me,” Matt stated, “about how you used to have a reputation for giving the best blowjobs at UCLA.”

“It was a joke Matt,” you replied with feeling your anger build, “I told you the actual story behind it. It was a stupid rumor that went around my dorm building but everyone knew the truth, they were saying that about me ironically.”

The truth was that you had been blowing this guy you were seeing but you were so drunk that you had ended up puking mid job. It was definitely not funny at the time and embarrassing as hell but over the years you’ve learned to not take life too seriously and it was a little funny now looking back on it. You were young and dumb and luckily made it through those days relatively in one piece.

“Really? Because Travis has been asking me a lot of questions about you lately,” Matt continued on, “he asked me if your reputation still holds up and if I’d be willing to share you with him.”

“What?” You asked shocked, “what the fuck, why would he ask you that?”

“Have you been flirting with him?” Matt questioned.

“No,” you shot back, “he DM’d that one night at like 3 am and sent me a dick pic which I told you about by the way and I blocked him after that.”

“Well now I’ve been hearing from all my friends that they all wanna bone you and I don’t like it,” Matt ranted on, “and now they all know about your UCLA dorm reputation of being a slut and now they wont stop asking me about it.”

“How did they hear that story?” You asked, crossing your arms.

“Huh?”

“How’d they hear that story?” You repeat yourself, “I only told you that story because you’re the one who brought up embarrassing stories after telling me yours. Did you tell them?”

“Look it doesn’t matter how they know,” Matt redirected, “the point is that I don’t want a hoe for a girlfriend and no one’s that good at giving head unless there’s some truth to it.”

“Oh so that’s what this is about?” You asked amused, “so you liked the head I gave you?”

“Well not anymore because now I’m just wondering how many other guys' dicks you’ve had in your mouth and now I’m just grossed out,” Matt said, throwing his hands up, “and I don’t need to hear it from my friends or whatever other dudes you’ve had.”

You stood there in a stunned silence as he got back into his car and drove out the driveway to the gate. Did you just get dumped for being too good at giving head? There’s no way. You didn’t believe that was the real reason, sure you may be alright at it but you didn’t think that you were extraordinarily talented at it or anything. But you could tell from the beginning that Matt’s friends were all douchebags and Matt kind of was too. You wanted to give him a fair chance but you weren’t very attached to him, you didn't even really care that you had just gotten dumped you were just surprised that you were.

Well fuck it, you thought to your self. You had been looking forward to going to that Italian restaurant. Even if it meant going alone and eating a whole damn bowl of pasta by yourself, you’d find a way to have a good evening.

*******************************************************************************

You sipped the red wine from your glass slowly, scrolling on instagram mindlessly. You had blocked Matt and all his douchebag friends. An empty bowl of Alfredo mushroom pasta laid next to you. It had been delicious and well worth the trip. The restaurant was definitely one of sophistication and romance. You had tried to ignore all the couples or families that were out together. You ended up not being able to get a table without having to wait forty five minutes so you opted for the bar. It did you better anyways because then you could have your back to everyone around you and try to ignore the sting of being out alone on a Friday night.

Then out of nowhere a familiar voice came from behind you, “this seat taken?”

Before you even had a chance to respond Dieter slid into the chair next to you. He had his sunglasses on and avoided your gaze, he was rubbing his temple in discomfort.

“What are you doing here?” You question him, “I thought you and Lola were gonna have a cunilingis party in your jacuzzi tub.”

“Yep we didn’t make it that far,” Dieter confessed and got the bartender's attention, “crown whiskey please, neat.”

The bartender nodded and turned to get a tumbler glass.

“Where’s Matty cakes?” Dieter asks, still avoiding your gaze.

It’s only now with Dieter sitting besides you being aloof that you thought to really look at him. The side of his face was a little pinker than normal and there was a small cut on his cheek. You went to grab for his sunglasses, taking them off delicately. His eyes snapped at you with anger while you sighed frustratedly.

“Did she hit you again?” You say hushed toned.

“Well it’s not like I didn’t deserve it,” Dieter replied taking the sunglasses back from you and sliding them up his face, “she was being a bitch, I was being a dick. You know the same old story.”

“You still shouldn’t be allowing her to hit you,” You say sternly, “it’s not right.”

“Eh fuck it,” Dieter said shrugging, “it was more of a bitch slap anyways. I’ve had worse, besides the girls a total psycho. She’s out there throwing a temper tantrum because her rich lawyer boyfriend won’t shell out the $135,000 she needs to go to New York for fashion week.”

“And let me guess, instead she asked you for the money?” You asked unsurprised, taking a sip of wine.

“I would have done it if she didn’t have such a stick up her ass,” Dieter went on to explain, “we were on the dinner cruise and a group of women came up to me and asked for a selfie. She sat at the table and pouted the rest of dinner and before we even got the Marriott she blew up on me because she thought I was eye fucking those women that wanted the picture.”

You weren’t surprised, Lola was incredibly jealous of every other woman that was in Dieter’s vicinity. She had even tried to convince Dieter to kick you out of the guest house even though you and Dieter had always had set a boundary early on of not entering each other’s spaces without notice.

“I don't understand why you put up with her,” you grumbled, “yea she’s hot but there’s plenty of hot women that would line up for you. She’s a selfish manipulative gold digger who’s going to throw a toddler-like tantrum every time she doesn’t get her way. You could do much better.”

“But she’s the one that keeps coming back,” Dieter explained, “and besides when she is in the middle of her temper tantrums the sex is crazy good. We were in the lobby of the Marriott, I tried to off to take her upstairs to make her legs shake all the way to New York, she asked me if I’d give her the money and I made a joke about how she’s like my own personal Vivian Ward and she slapped me and left.”

You rolled your eyes, it sounded like a typical fight between the two of them.

“So where’s Matty Cakes?” Dieter asked now just noticing, “Why you sitting at a bar alone?”

“We’re done,” you said bluntly.

“Good for you!” Dieter said, placing his hand on your shoulder affectionately, “I was hoping you’d wise up and leave his sorry ass.”

“Oh you mean just like how I tell you all the time to forget about Lola?” You pointed out.

“Yeah but you’re a lot smarter than me,” Dieter retorted, “besides you definitely could do better than that ass hat.”

“I’m not sure how true that is,” you responded, swirling the wine in your glass around, “he broke up with me.”

“Why?” Dieter asked, looking over towards you behind the shades.

“Well first off I don’t believe what he said,” you began to explain, “I think he’s full of shit but I don’t know why he’d lie about it. Probably just has a stick up his ass too like Lola.”

“We ought to hook the two of them up,” Dieter responded.

“Please Matt can't afford her,” you retorted simply.

“So what did he say?” Dieter questioned further.

“He said that he’s pissed because a couple of his friends are into me a guess and he told them the story about how I used to have that reputation for giving the best at giving head at UCLA,” you started to explain.

“From that time you ralphed all over that guy when you were drunk?” Dieter questioned, recalling one of the many late night talks you two had over the years, “What did you puke all over him when you were going down on him tonight?”

“No,” you said flatly.

“Hm too bad,” Dieter replied, “he deserves it. So he's pissed that his boys are into you? That’s stupid, if that were me I’d just make it clear to my friends that you're mine and show you off like you deserve instead of being a little bitch about it.”

“You’d think so,” you agreed, “but he said that he agrees with my reputation and doesn’t want a girlfriend that’s too good at giving head because obviously that means that I’m a hoe.”

“Wait so he actually broke up with you for being too good at giving head?” Dieter asked with a furrowed brow. A few people around the restaurant started giving you two funny looks, but you were used to getting stares from Dieter’s blunt openness even in public, “That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard! If you’re that good at it he should be on his knees begging for your mouth every night.”

You shrugged, unsure how to respond. You didn’t really think you were that good at and also agreed that it was a stupid thing to get dumped over. But there wasn’t enough attachment to Matt. You were getting sleepy off the wine, you were ready to put this day to rest.

“Was he good at going down on you?” Dieter continued to question.

“Not really,” you confessed, “he didn’t really like to do it. Even when we were dating I tried to tell him if he wouldn’t do it to me that I wouldn’t do it to him but he bitched, moaned and complained if i wouldn’t.”

“Jesus,” Dieter said, running his hands through his hair, “Alright let’s go back to the Marriott.”

“Go back to your hotel with you?” You asked surprised.

“C’mon,” Dieter said, standing from the bar and tossing a fifty dollar bill on the counter, “let’s drown our sorrows in Mary Jane and we can play scrabble all night.”

#dieter bravo #pedro pascal #fanfiction #the bubble #pedro is daddy #pedro x reader

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stowaway-society · 1 year

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Mechs & Torchwood Crossover AU dump!

So, a few days ago I came up with this very silly niche little crossover AU of The Mechanisms meets Torchwood (essentially human/mortal Mechs & they work for Torchwood Cardiff instead of the Canon team) and I've been yelling about it since because it's my two biggest Special Interests in one so here's a list of what I think everyone's role on the team would be and how they'd do-

-Carmilla was the 'original' team leader and the one who hired everyone (with the exception of Marius, Raphaella and Lyf). 'Mysteriously' dissappeared one day, everyone has their own little theories about the where and how. Until her disappearance she also functioned as the team's doctor/medic

-Jonny was the first she hired, probably because she saw him fist fight a weevil or something. Originally Second-in-command but since the Docs disappeared he's officially in charge now. He has no clue what he's doing, he doesn't know how to properly lead, but still refuses to give up being in charge

-Nastya was hired for her technological knowledge and engineering skills but ends up doing most of the actual leading after Jonny was put in charge (she's their braincell /lh). She also developed and installed a fully sentient AI, Aurora, into the Hub (think Hera from Wolf 359).

-Aurora is,, just taking care of her silly little humans blocking off their PCs if they work on them for too long, ordering food online if they haven't eaten in a while etc, because yes, those are her silly little humans and they keep forgetting their self care or basic human needs

-Ashes was hired for Hub security and finances (aka copious safety hazards and tax fraud the first months, no one knows what Carmilla was thinking when hiring them or keeping them around, but Jonny and Nastya were fond of them enough not to question it too much) but eventually ended up mostly being a field agent

-Ivy naturally works as their archivist and along with Raphaella does most of the research. She's also in charge of the Hubs artifact storage and typing up reports

-Brian didn't actually get hired, he came through the rift (like in "Out Of Time") from the past (very far past), where he worked as a sort-of "witch" doctor. Carmilla decided to let him stay at the Hub for a while as they didn't know where he could go and she decided retconning him might be too risky (as he doesn't know anything about the modern age and retcon wouldn't change that). Eventually he ended up being an actual part of the team, mostly as a field agent. Somehow he ends up driving (he does not know how to properly drive, but their captain can't captain and their doctor can't doctor so he thinks it's fair enough, no one's died *yet* it's fine /lh). Despite having worked as a doctor before he doesn't on the team, as his knowledge in modern medicine is near non-existent for the first while, and they still had Carmilla

-The Toy Soldier isn't officially part of the team, it's more like. That One Alien-Or-Whatever-It-Is (None of them are really sure) that everyone just looked at and went "Yea OK so it's not dangerous so it doesn't need to be locked up or neutralized and it DOES need a place to stay so let's just keep it". While not being an official employee, it does do work around the Hub, which mostly consists of bringing people tea or food while they work or tidying up after the ADHD Gremlins that is most of the team (it finds a lot of joy in both, truly, it's just happy to be involved /lh)

-Tim got hired for his knowledge and experience with weapons, mostly by Jonny's request, after he saw Tim and his best friend Bertie handle themselves in a gunfight against an alien. Bertie died in the gunfight and Tim blames Jonny for not helping sooner (Cue them recreating that one scene from Fragments where Owen just tries to beat the living shit out of Jack) but they eventually manage to get along

-Marius was the first to be hired after Carmillas disappearance, originally to replace her as medic, though Jonny didn't really care about proper procedure or professionalism enough at the time to notice that his medical degree was entirely forged (nor did he care too much after it was discovered by Ivy). He does have medical experience, but it's just barely enough to patch someone up in case of emergency. While he does officially function as the team's medic, he more often works as a field agent working with Raph on the experimenting part of research (like the Rat Jam thing, because I can very very much see him have the exact same delighted reaction as Owen /lh)

-Raphaella was hired out of a UNIT cell (similar to Tosh), that she was in for a history of highly unethical experiments, including on human and alien subjects. Jonny mostly hired her for that, having gotten the recommendation from Ivy after she found Raphs file and being fascinated by it. Also because they were very much in need of an actual scientist.

-Lyfrassir pretty much get hired the same way Gwen did, still working as a cop when they run into Torchwood. They run into Marius, Ivy and Raphaella while those three are on a field research mission, and the trio takes quick liking to them after they help catch an alien specimen with surprising casuallity. They end up getting dragged back to the hub and Marius pesters and convinces Jonny that the team could really use their abilities and contacts until he actually hires them. They are more or less the least fucked up (morals wise) person on the team and much like Gwen help to "humanize" the team a bit more

(if this does well or people actually wanna hear more about this silly little crossover AU I have a lot more thoughts about it and am currently trying to write this into a fanfiction /lh)

#Is there a target audience for this?#Gods I hope so #torchwood #the mechanisms #i am being so normal about this #I spent so much time thinking about this send help #marius von raum #ivy alexandria #the aurora #jonny d'ville #gunpowder tim #drumbot brian #lyfrassir edda #raphaella la cognizi #ashes o'reilly #toy soldier #nastya rasputina #i wrote this at 3am

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bloodshora · 2 years

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Relax

Xiaolumi time babyyy

TW: None, it's pure fluff

Genre: Fluff and hurt comfort

MODERN AU!

Synopsis: Xiao was having an awful day and his mental health was not helping with it until lumine arrives

Xiao has been feeling quite awful the entire day, he had a terrible day at work since he got a few things wrong and his mental state today has not helped him at all, even now that he is at home he still felt unmotivated to do anything, he hasn't eaten anything! He skipped lunch and his breakfast consist on just drinking a cup of tea and thats it, he hasn't showered and he hasn't even changed into more comfortable clothes. Right now he was just laying down on the couch spacing out for a while until his girlfriend lumine finally came home from work.

Once she arrived and walked through the door and quickly noticed Xiao laying down on the couch, she set her stuff away quickly on the entrance and walked up to him, "hey dear, doing alright?" She asked as she looked at him crouching in front of him and rubbed his arm gently since he was facing away from her. Xiao was very silent until he eventually just turned around and held her close against him, lumine was a bit surprised due to the sudden movement but she smiled warmly and laid on top of him as she hugged him gently but close. "Bad day?" Lumine simply said and he nodded bringing her closer to him "yeah... I'm not feeling my best either..." Xiao finally spoke, lumine is no stranger to these types of days, she knows that Xiao's mental health is not the best but she understands and helps him the best way she can.

Lumine nodded and decided to move a bit up so she could be closer to his face, she then began to kiss very gently his cheek and comforted him "it's ok, the day is over... You can finally relax" he said nothing but did lean to her kisses landing few on her lips. Eventually lumine heard his stomach grumble begging to be fed, this not the first time he has skipped meals so lumine looked at him with a small frown "you haven't eaten anything today, have you?" He just looked ashamed and glanced away from her, lumine shook her head gently and pecked his cheek followed by his lips "it's alright, I can prepare you something, is that ok?" He was quiet but eventually he nodded "alright, I'll get to it" and with that she pulled away from him and walked to the kitchen and prepare almond tofu (it's the easiest meal for him to eat).

Xiao stayed on the couch for quite some time before he stood up and stayed close to her as she kept cooking, lumine glanced at him smiling warmly "hi dear" she said and he just glanced at her as a soft blush crawled to his cheeks "hi Angel", she smiled wider at him and eventually served him the plate of almond tofu in which he took and thanked her, he sat down on the table looking at the food, looked delicious but when his mental state was this bad it was hard for him to do so, lumine then sat down next to him and looked at him with a soft smile, it didn't took long before he stared to eat and every so often he would offer lumine a bite which lumine accepted and ate with him. He finished the plate thanking his girlfriend for the food, though not long after he asked her "lumine? Do you want to take a bath with me?" He asked, they have seen each other naked countless times especially after being together for so long (almost two years now), lumine nodded and smiled "of course, a bath sounds good right now honestly" she chuckled before they both stood up heading to the bathroom.

Lumine prepared the bath before Xiao and her began to undress, Xiao got in the warm bath first and then lumine got in laying against his chest. Usually stuff like this would be very sexual but not really on this case, they were just enjoying their presence as Xiao hugged her wrapping his arms around her waist and Lumine just resting against his chest. "Lumine?" He suddenly spoke "yes?" Lumine glanced at him "thank you... For being here with me and just helping me feel better" lumine smiled warmly and pecked his cheek "oh Xiao it's nothing, though I haven't done much", Xiao looked at her a bit shocked thinking if what she said was a joke or not "are you joking? You have comforted me, made sure that I was eating and well, not to mention always being there and just knowing when I'm not feeling well" lumine looked at him smiled warmly turning around so her body was fully facing him, "Oh Xiao, you don't have to thank me or anything like that, I just care and love you so much" Xiao smiled warmly and pulled her a bit closer making lumine wrap her arms around his neck "I love you too angel" he said before he kissed her very soft lips, they stayed like that until they noticed the water was getting cold. They slowly pulled away and smiled warmly at each other, they got out of the bath and dried themselves before going to their room and got dressed in comfortable clothes, before laying on the bed watching a random movie until they both fell asleep.

Xiao felt so loved and so much better.

#genshin impact xiao #genshin impact #xiao #xiaolumi #lumine #genshin fanfic #genshin impact lumine

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purplesurveys · 10 months

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1714

Have you ever seen an emu in real life, whether in captivity or the wild? I have never.

When was the last time you visited your state’s biggest city? I live in it.

Do you remember what colour the eyes were of the last person you spoke to? Dark brown, as all Filipinos have.

Have you eaten pasta in the past week? Sure. It was fast food spaghetti but still.

Did you pierce your ears yourself or have it done by a professional? I'm pretty sure my parents had it done by a professional. I had been a few weeks or months old after all.

Are you wearing any shoes right now? No.

How many letters are in your surname? Six.

Do you enjoy Burger King? Their burgers are good but Burger King is honestly something I just never seem to look for? Idk, lol. Like I'll never say no to it, but I also don't ever go, "I think I'll get Burger King today." In general I guess I'm also not into fast food burgers much, unless it's Jollibee.

Have you ever worn bell bottom jeans? I don't think I've ever, actually.

How far away from your house is the nearest ice cream place? The nearest one I know of is around a 30 minute drive away.

What colour is your kitchen counter? It's a shade of peach.

When was the last time you washed the dishes? Not a plate but I washed my glass around half an hour ago before I settled in my room.

Do you own a lot of cookbooks? We don't have, like, a bookshelf's worth of cookbooks if that's what you mean by 'a lot,' but I'd say we have more than average. My dad's a chef, so he liked to collect them early on in his career.

How many rooms are in your house? Four.

Have you ever seen American Pie? I haven't. I heard of it a lot as a kid but was also always warned not to watch it, so I kind of brought that with me until now. I still have no clue what that show(?) is about haha.

What do you think of Leonardo DiCaprio? He's really good-looking and an even better actor but I do find his dating choices quite weird given his age.

Do you stay in touch with many people from high school or college? It's a good number. Most of my current circles are from my years in school.

Are you feeling nervous about anything right now? Just a little bit, but I'm trying not to think of it now so I can focus on my weekend and free time.

How many cars can your driveway and garage hold? Technically just one, but we have some extra space around the backyard area and our front yard so we're able to have our two other cars fit in those slots. Mainly so that we don't block the road because it's so annoying that most of the nighbors do that.

When was the last time you were late for something? Around a month ago for one of our events. My teammates arrived earlier to cover for me first so I wasn't too worried, and I was mostly stressed because of the traffic and because the driver kept on heading towards turns that led to more traffic.

Do you own an iPod, and if so, what type? I have not used an iPod since high school.

Did you ever play Stardoll when you were younger? I don't think I've ever heard of that.

Is there a university in your town or city? Yes. There's a small local one literally right beside our village gate.

What’s your father’s handwriting like? The hilarious thing is I don't even know what his handwriting looks like because he writes so rarely. He just...signs. I should hand him a blank piece of paper one of these days and just ask him to write random phrases so I can finally know hah.

Have you ever lived on a farm? Haven't.

Are you hung up on anybody right now? No.

Do you eat fries one by one or in big bunches? Just one each, every time. I always eat stuff like fries by piece.

Did you wash your hair last time you showered? Yeah I never skip anything when I take a bath.

Has anyone ever ransacked your bedroom? Apparently my mom did because that's how she came to read my diary when I wasn't around. I've always been a bit peeved about her entering my room since then.

Do you have any weird sleeping habits that people have told you about? No. I also don't like sleeping with people around, so that's also probably why no one has ever told me anything.

Do you enjoy That 70s Show? I tried getting into it but couldn't understand the humor right from the first episode - either that or I just simply found it unfunny, idk - so I didn't really care to watch the rest.

Are there any clouds in the sky, and what colour are they? Well right now it's 2:01 AM so everything looks black/super sper super dark blue.

Do you think you’re fast at typing? I know I'm fast, haha.

What was the last type of pizza you ate? Pepperoni, but I removed all the pepperoni from the slices I took as I don't like it.

How old are you? 25. WOW I can't believe I'm 25

Do you know anyone with an unusual middle name? Yes.

Would you consider yourself to be intelligent? Only in select aspects.

Have you ever waxed your eyebrows? Nope.

What does your shampoo smell like? Just...idk like a refreshing one?? It doesn't have a distinct scent.

Have you ever passed gas in front of your significant other? I don't like farting hahaha I always suppress mine. Only my sister has heard me do it and that's because those got out accidentally.

Do you have any big regrets in your life? I wouldn't say big, but there have been a few medium-sized regrets here and there.

What colour is the ground or floor where you are right now? Brown.

Do you live on a street, avenue, road etc.? Street.

Can you taste anything right now? Just the remnants of my coffee.

What was the last board game you played? I don't play board games but I played Anomia with my family the other night.

Are you renting the house you’re currently living in? No.

Do you listen to Guns n Roses? Other than the like two songs I know of theirs, no.

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend or girlfriend? I was uhhhhhhh 16, I think.

Have you ever been a bridesmaid? A junior bridesmaid, if that counts; my aunt had that kind of gimmick during her wedding. I was 8 and didn't actually do anything in the role.

Has the sun already set for the day? Forever ago. It's about to rise in a couple of hours or so.

Do you know how to tie a tie? No. I had to wear a necktie from kinder to high school but since I didn't know how to tie ties I just kept the knot and wore it like I would a necklace for the 14 years I studied there hahah.

What are the age gaps between you and your siblings? 2 and 5.

Does your birthday come before June 19th in a calendar year? No, before.

Do you pay attention to the FIFA World Cup? If so, what team do you go for? I'm paying attention to the Women's World Cup right now because 1) one of my clients is the Philippine team's official outfitter so we have had a million and one events related to the World Cup; and 2) THE PHILIPPINES IS (well, was now since we're out...but still) IN THE WORLD CUP FOR THE FIRST TIME. Made the entire country turn into rabid football fans overnight lol it's so surreal to see it all unfold. I love our girls :')

Even if PH got booted though I catch up whenever I can! Some narratives have been super heartwarming, like Jamaica's who apparently had to do crowdfunding to even get to the tournament in the first place.

Are you on any medications right now? I am not.

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magidoggie · 2 months

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just a heads up this is going to be some type of vent post about disability

so I haven't been very active on social media in the last few months for a simple reason. agony. and I don't just mean the mental type of agony, I mean my body has been sick for a year now, and it only keeps getting worse.

in early 2023 I started to get a lot of unexplainable mucus in my throat that eventually caused me to gag and throw up multiple times a month. in May it got so bad that I couldn't eat very much for a few weeks. that seemed to get better, but the Mystery Mucus stayed. Swallowing has been extremely difficult from that point on, and I can pretty much only eat if I have a mouth full of fluid to help the food down.

I lost some weight, and promptly regained it once I started eating a normal amount again. however I gained more weight back than I wanted to and it triggered some kind of eating disorder. I tried dieting, and it worked.. for a few days at least

it seems like something inside my body just kinda broke from that point on. I would get heart palpitations, dizziness, nausea, hot flashes, stomach pains and often times feel like I was about to faint if I hadn't eaten for a couple hours, or if I had just eaten. it's linked with ravenous hunger that just would not go away, and only increased over the months. I couldn't sleep for days at one point because my heart was beating at an insane speed for days at a time for an unknown reason

I'm now on appetite suppressing medication, which takes the edge off the hunger, but it still feels like it's getting worse. I've been to countless doctor's appointments to no avail to the point where my own doctor straight up said "I can't do anything for you"

I've had so much blood works done and nothing ever came up that would indicate anything

every single day has become a struggle and it feels harder and harder to cope with living with this unknown disability that makes me feel sick almost every hour of every day, and now having my own doctor giving up on me. it feels like it's never going to get better

it's really difficult for me to do anything or enjoy anything I used to do and I cant count how many times I've thought of suicide because of it

my options are shrinking

if I ever stop posting for good, there's a reason

#doggie barks

0 notes

timeoverload · 6 months

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I wish I could come see you today but I can't. I miss you and I'm sorry. I have an idea of what I want but I'm not sure about it yet. I want it to be meaningful and I don't want to just settle on something random. My goal is to make a decision by tomorrow night.

I haven't felt very good the past 2 days but every weekend is the same. I had a hard time moving yesterday. Work is kicking my ass right now. I had to stay over an hour late on Thursday night because they had to open 10 trays for one eye case. I'm not super familiar with those sets so it took me a while to sort out and get them all wrapped. There has just been a lot to deal with in general and it's very draining. I was so tired after that and I fell asleep early. It takes a lot of time for my body to recover and I usually don't start feeling like myself until Sunday afternoon.

I am nervous about Friday. I don't want to feel like shit that day but I probably will. I will still come see you regardless. I have been looking forward to seeing you. I am going to do my best not to be tired and crabby. I'm not going to let myself have an episode if things don't go the way I want them to.

I wasn't as productive as I wanted to be yesterday but I still got a few things done. I have accomplished quite a bit so far today and I'm proud of myself.

I paid off over $1800 in bills so I can't spend too much right now. I think I have pretty much everything paid off from this year aside from one appointment that was $200. I need to have enough to cover my $300 monthly payment because that's going to get taken out soon plus my other expenses. I am going to be broke for a while but at least I don't have as much to worry about and people should stop calling me.

I also got my car insurance renewed. I made Soupy and Salazaar a vet appointment for the 16th. I made myself an eye appointment for the 15th. I am way overdue to have my eyes checked. I feel like I am going blind. My right eye has been twitching a lot and everything looks a little blurry. It's hard to look at the screen for extended periods of time. I'm having a tough time typing right now because my eye is twitching again.

I think I need to rest my eyes for a little while because they are very strained and it's uncomfortable. I am going to try to get more stuff done after that. I probably should get some food soon because I haven't eaten enough today. I am going to try to enjoy the rest of my day.

I hope everyone else is having a good day too! I'm sorry I can't be there today but thank you for thinking of me again. :) 💖💖💖

#personal

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lifewithoutmeds · 8 months

Text

september 19, 2023

6:54 p.m.

the sun's starting to set earlier. it's setting around now, actually, and i'm typing in a fading light. also it's been about 10-20' cooler than it was about a week ago. the high's are in the mid to high 70's, the nights are cool, and i haven't had to turn on the a/c in about a week. i've also been able to go out on a couple lunch walks, which i hadn't previously, partly due to the weather, partly just because of my headspace.

i feel pretty uneasy lately. i know that the weather has something to do with it. as much as i appreciate how it's cooler, something about it kind of fills me with dread and extreme anxiety and sadness. it feels ... foreboding almost. like a blanket of darkness slowly descending, like i should be hiding the kids in some bunker, nervously looking back, hoping it won't catch up to me. it's a bizarre sensation.

i'm also remembering how much of this dissipated when jadai was here. cooler nights meant a blanket set up by the fireplace, and drinks and monopoly deal. it meant nights at shelby's with the dogs, with a movie on, with pumpkin carving and halloween music. now it's back to nothingness, the unsettledness.

week's recap:

thursday, 9/14/2023: went in to work, uncharacteristically on a thursday, due to a quarterly in-person asset management meeting. i worked a lot, as i do on in-office days, and our Pathway Home meeting ran late, until 6:30 p.m., and then joyce wanted a quick recap which took a few extra minutes. i ended up being quite late to dinner with stacy and catherine, but they had been waiting a bit so the food hadn't all been eaten, and i had some drinks and we all gave little recaps on our lives and catherine was so sweet, when i told her about my may mental breakdown, she said i should've reached out to her, and something to the extent of how when there's something ... i dunno, mature? authentic about my honestly in how i was dealing with the crap and sadness that is life, as opposed to pretending all was good. that was kind of nice to hear. i rarely hear anything good about my outtake on life. again though, it was really really good seeing them and i felt lucky to have been included.

friday, 9/15/2023: went fishing with tracy! i was debating this, since i haven't really felt like fishing in a while, it takes all day, and it gets pretty exhausting, but i figured with summer ending, with my few RDO's, and with tracy going back to work soon, there wouldn't be a ton more chances, so i'd go. and i'm really glad i did. we went out for a few hours, and i caught some perch, and got some sandcrabs and set up tracy with some giant sandcrabs with roe, and she got hit with a nice-sized guitarfish, which fought her pretty hard coming in. i was also slammed twice and my line actually snapped off at the hook, so i didn't know what hit it. it was pretty fun, and just nice to be knee deep in the water, with the hypnotic lull of the water, and seeing little things, the birds, an occasional seal. i dunno. it was kinda nice to be out there and kind of nice to reminded that there were still things that a little bit awakened my soul. afterward she was craving gyros, so we went to a place called gyromania which was pretty tasty but had the weirdest and most offputting customer service i've ever experienced. i don't even quite know how to describe it except Weird.

then we went to our respective homes, i rinsed off my legs, and then crashed, staring at my phone until night.

saturday, 9/16/2023: went with my mom to a few more open houses, none of which were impressive, then went out to lunch per usual, this time at house of joy where we got jamppong and tangsooyuk. it was good and we split the tangsooyuk and she took the jamppong leftovers home to mix up later with market noodles. i laid down for the rest of the day and didn't do any chores. just laid there and i started to feel the darkness, the horror slowly start creeping in. randomly lorena came by after work with some leftover sushi and we went to BJ's where we got some wings and beer and sad music was playing and she was showing me photos of a wedding that she and her gf had gone to in big bear the past weekend, and it completely triggered me: the wedding, big bear, i thought of how that would've been a nice place for jadai and me to get married and before i knew it, i was crying again. i eventually got out of it and saw my former waitress crush but she looked different this time and i felt kind of different about her.

sunday, 9/17/2023: absolutely nothing this day. just laid down. ate some leftovers. just nothing. my hand started hurting from holding my phone for so many consecutive hours. i felt anxious, unproductive, lazy, guilty, and also just again that deep dread, this weird anxiety and i finally took a gummy to help me sleep/not feel, and don't remember the rest of the night.

monday, 9/18/2023: had a hard time focusing for work. the day was a bit of a blur. afterward though i went to grace kim's in pasadena. maddy was being very sweet and cute, and steve got together some really delicious smoked/barbecued meat. they also served a salad and mashed potatoes, all fresh, from the farmer's market, all homemade, all really tasty. i also had a few beers and i was very sad and dark and cried a tiny bit. oh also i had a noon psychiatrist appointment and i cried and cried and she said that this was fairly normal for a break up to feel all the things.

tuesday, 9/19/2023: decided to be productive today. took out trash, picked up the mail, watered some plants, did three loads of dishes and three loads of laundry. walked to the bank, deposited a check my dad mailed me for my birthday, and also withdrew $100 in tens so i could pay my weekly work parking fee. talked a bit on the phone with lana, amir, and lorena, which was nice. i took another walk after work and listened to The Read, and i still felt pretty spooked, like just anxiety and dread gripping my soul, and like i had to keep catching my breath and forcing myself to take deep breaths, and i was a little discouraged at the fact that when i did nothing, i felt bad, and even when i did everything "right," i still didn't feel good. i'm hoping this is a passing feeling, as i have to remind myself that my circumstances haven't changed, only my feelings. and i just need to dig myself out, shovelful by shovelful.

looking ahead: wednesday, 9/20/2023: in office day. randomly got re-in touch with dana from the assessor's office, and we're planning on getting dim sum in chinatown for lunch tomorrow. i haven't seen her in forever but i'm very fond of her and we have a really similar sense of humor. she had a baby recently and has apparently been suffering from terrible anxiety, so we might have lots to catch up on.

thursday, 9/21/2023: will be coworking with danielle again in santa clarita valley. this will probably mean hanging out with her dog and going on a few walks, maybe ordering in lunch like last time. i really appreciate her and enjoy her company and i think we benefit from just being near each other to vent about our personal problems and feelings. she's been a really great and consistent friend these years.

friday, 9/22/2023: a short day at work, and will be taking off an hour to go to a midday doctor's appointment. i think i've lost a few pounds since my last visit so that should be good i guess.

saturday, 9/23/2023: caroline's baby shower in the morning, and hot flash in west hollywood at night. looking forward to both. the wholesomeness of the baby shower, and the debauchery of the night. my new friend kim from long beach bought a ticket, and LD might come too, so for once i might actually know other people at the event and not just hang around, desperate to find a friendly face.

again, today was frustrating. i was doing all of the things. dutifully walking back and forth every 45-50 minutes to pick up my laundry, etc., dutifully washing load after load of dishes, counting my calories, taking my walks, and it just felt so ... i dunno, dull? repetitive? and it takes so much to be healthy, it takes so much to feel fulfilled, and it's just so much monotony and drudgery. i need to work and eat healthily and make my bed, and scrub my toilet and take my walks and then take care of my mental health by talking to a friend, journaling, and watching The Office. it just feels like so much for so little. just feeling again, like i can't quite find the point and it's getting tiring, just round and round the wheel.

a part of me thinks that i'll find hope and joy again in a relationship. i'll have a reason to pick up a treat at the bakery and to browse a stationery store so i can write cards, a partner to go bicycling with, and play monopoly deal with on cold nights. someone to plan adventures with, and have plans every weekend. but i also know that as much as i want that, i need to be okay without that. i can't depend that much on anyone. and it's been really hard to figure out why, otherwise. it's so much upkeep with no ultimate purpose or meaning.

i'm finding myself returning to some older patterns: looking for travel deals, asking if i can tag along with others' plans and families. looking for volunteer opportunities. just looking, just ... trying to find something to do, some meaningful way to spend my time. i'm having a hard time feeling good right now, and it's doubly frustrating because i really am actively fighting it.

i ate soondubu for breakfast and lunch today, and had a spinach/fruit smoothie for dinner. i might eat a few carrots with dip later. i was losing weight for a while but a few days of haagen dazs and leftovers had me gaining it back. i'm hoping i could keep it off, and lose more. i want to dress better, and bought a couple shirts online from banana republic, and i somehow calendared a shopping day with lana in a few weeks. i realized that i dress as if i don't care about myself, the world, or how i'm perceived by others, because i don't care about them either. my whole posture is one of not really caring about existence, and i think it's a bit defeatist. i feel invisible, so i act invisible. must work on this.

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horrorcult-renaissance · 10 months

Text

Nothing Is Beyond the Pale in Darkness

(A wee Will Grahm moment. I mostly write these for myself and barely ever post them. This is just a quick first draft I really liked. Nothing triggering as far as I know. Just Will Graham and an old friend having a coffee. A little flirting near the end. Maybe I’ll continue it when I know what happens next.)

The friends agreed to meet at a little cafe they both knew in Manassas. The man had chosen Bon Temps for its rustic bayou theme. It was neither as kitschy nor as pretentious as other coffee shops near his place of work. The lighting was low and warm, the voices of its few patrons were hushed, and they stayed open until after dusk. He entered the cafe and scanned the room for his friend, who was sitting at a little table between a vintage privacy screen and a dried-out-looking ficus that on closer inspection was plastic and quite dusty. The last of the day's golden hour sunlight hit her face from over the screen, streaming in and filling it with warm light. She was still wearing her distinctive soft masculine dark academic sort of outfit that she often wore to work. The man walked over slowly, a small smile playing on his lips. His face looked tired with its five-o-clock shadow, but that did nothing to mar his delicate but handsome features. When she looked up and noticed him approaching the table, her eyes lit up with recognition. She waved slightly. He was the first to speak this time.

"Well, hello there. It's been quite a while since our last exchange. How have you been holding up?" Will Graham said, settling into the booth opposite her. She sighed and shrugged.

"Well it's 6 pm and I haven't eaten a damn thing today but I'm ok with that." She glanced briefly at his eyes and then looked back down at the table. Will caught that she was avoiding eye contact with him and tilted his head to look at her, his eyes narrowing. Then he leaned back in his seat and looked at her head on. "A human body requires sustenance to keep functioning properly. You'll have to nourish yourself at some point, you know."

She looked up at him again, but even then, her gaze seemed to rest at the top of his left ear, not at his eyes. "Yeah, there's just not much in my house for groceries right now. I've been craving Chinese food so I'm holding out for my paycheck to come in and then I'm gonna order some."

He nodded, looking down at her arms folded in front of her on the table and then back at her face.

"Don't hold out for too long. Your body needs fuel. Skipping too many meals is hardly a healthy habit."

"Don't worry, I won't." She paused and fiddled with the place settings. Will noticed but kept his gaze steady. He knew from her body language that something was on her mind. Finally, with faux absentmindedness she made her move."Do you remember the conversation we had last time we got Chinese food?"

Will smiled coyly. He did, in fact, remember slightly. That was a night he had more than his usual share of whiskeys. It has been shortly after his release from a mental ward and his mood had been... intense. He called her on the off chance she could pick him up and she drove him home that night. He vaguely remembered the slight innuendo he had uncharacteristically thrown her way to see if she'd bite. She mostly looked terrified. He had kind of liked it. "Yeah, I remember. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, I was just curious I guess. I was wondering if you remember what else was transpiring during that evening." She had twisted the paper wrapper of her straw from her ice water up into a tight twist and slid it to the edge of the table. Will couldn't remember exactly where that evening fell among the many notable evenings during that time in his life. "I remember that we talked about our favorite type of Chinese food and some of the other restaurants we each wanted to try. Why? Is something wrong?" His eyebrows raised as he leaned slightly towards her, gazing out from beneath them. She took a nervous sip of her water. "No. Nothing is wrong. I was just curious." She finally made eye contact with him. Though the air in the cafe was quite warm for the crisp autumn evening, she seemed to shiver slightly. Will leaned back again, looking her over. "Well, now I'm curious about your curiosity. Is my presence during that time in your thoughts lately?" A waitress set their drinks on the table, interrupting the tension. A chai breve' with a sprinkle of cinnamon for her, and for Will, just a plain strong black coffee. They both politely thanked the server before she loped back towards the counter.

"More than you know." Her shivering seemed to ebb and her shoulder took a bolder shape. Will looked bemused.

"Now that is intriguing, what do you mean by that?" He said. She sighed, "When I find myself in a darker headspace, my thoughts often drift toward the experiences we've shared." She looked down and shook her head slightly, "I start contemplating you, and you tend to occupy a significant presence in my internal dialogue during those moments." She looked back up at him. Will looked slightly ashamed.

"So you find yourself ruminating on me when you're caught in the depths of a dark headspace... And does that notion elicit fear within you?" He swallowed hard. "Or does the thought of me in those places offer some semblance of solace?" She looked at him and looked down, searching her mind for an honest answer. "I'm not sure. I’m unsure if its a bit of both. Or if it's that I scare me and you comfort me." She looked at him a little sadly. He continued his line of questioning, "Do you associate me with... bad feelings? Bad times?" He was nervous about what her answer would be, but she smiled.

"Definitely not bad times. Not a bad feeling either. It's more like... being alone with dark feelings." She had ceased her avoiding of his eyes. He began to smile back again. "So you're saying you think about me when you're lonely?" At that she chuckled a bit, tossing her hair out of her eyes.

"I mean, yeah that's true. But I don't think that's all there is to it. I think it has more to do with... I look to you because i know some of what you've been through, what you still probably go through. I think of you when I'm feeling unstable with my own identity because I know you've had those issues. " Will flinched a little at her reference to his troubled days, but decided to steer the boat to warmer waters. "I see,” he chuckled “So I'm like a... comfort thing?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." She shrugged. He leaned in closer, "Does that mean I'm your security blanket?" At that she cocked her head with a bit of surprise, her eyebrows coming together briefly before she leaned in to match him. "Why? Wanna cuddle?" They both laughed and Will sat back and rubbed his chin with his palm and thumb. Then he looked back at her. "Look... don't take this the wrong way... but if you asked me to cuddle, I'd probably do it."

"Is that so?"

"Well.. yeah. Why not? I haven't had anyone close to me in a long time. I do miss those things." He pursed his lips and then licked them, picking up his coffee and taking a sip. It was his turn to avoid eye contact.

"Been a while?" She asked, following his eyes off into the distance.

"Yeah." He sighed, "It really has."

"I could see that. I never really thought about your love life. You've always been a pretty solitary type of guy in general. Well, except for the dogs." He nodded and looked back at her. "I'm used to being alone. But that doesn't mean loneliness doesn't affect me. I haven't felt held in...," he shook his head and sighed, "forever." He was still gazing off to someplace in his head. She rubbed the back of her arms and, not believing she dared it, she said, "I mean, we can have a cuddle sometime, if you want. You're my friend. I trust you." He looked back at her slowly. "Is that so?"

"Why wouldn't I? Do you bite?" She shrugged, watching him intently.

"Me?" He said with a wide smile, "Nooooo."

#fluff #love #romantic #romantic fanfic #hannibal fanfiction #willgrahamxanon #angstromance #feelings #hannibaloneshot #whatthehellamidoing

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