#[remind me what butterflies feel like: ship inspiration] | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arikazu · 5 days

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torment / Lee know

summary : Lee know seems to love you or it was all just a misunderstanding?

Warning : angst and hurt inspire by my life real events

There was a trail that she could follow.

She was an unwanted child; being the oldest in the family did not mean that everyone respected her or loved her. Her father saw her as a disgrace to the family.

She doesn't seem to remember how she got that scar but her cousin's brother must have given her that scar when she didn't obey his order and rebel against him. Her father didn't favour her and locked her inside the room for two days without food and water.

Have you noticed how y/n's parents treat her? They act like they love her and are her real parents, but something seems off. And guess what? y/n just found a scar on her body that appears to be from her blood. What could it mean?

It's heartbreaking to think that her life was nothing but an illusion, created by her own family. It must have been incredibly difficult to navigate through a world that wasn't truly hers, all while feeling a sense of anger and frustration towards those who were meant to love and support her.

Her sister Hitomi was a loved child.

Her mother would always tell her when she would tie her long black hair in a bun.

"y/n your father does not hate you he just wants you to be independent and responsible"

Did he?

Was she a disgrace to her parents?

She was 20 when she met minho.

Her life seemed to change that night.

She was sitting under the sakura tree. The cherry blossom smell seemed to linger against her nostrils.

The sweet smell of childhood and youngness only reminded him of the day he bumped into her.

She was talking loudly With her friend group when she shouted that OP Jindal was a good university and one of the slim-looking young lads who had dirty blonde hair seemed to be immature and a lot younger than her.

A weird stare at her.

She got a little pissed off at his glasses and she shouted in a little funny voice "What! Why are you staring at me!?" She threw her arms up in the air.

He smiled and said "It's not a good university"

A little weird way to interact right?

First glares and first smiles were exchanged that day.

She would tell her feelings to him through her eyes and he would understand a thing.

The first thing he noticed about her was the y/n scar which was on her face. That day she looked like a 19-year-old woman and he was a 20-year-old man.

After a good debate of 5 minutes, they exchanged handshakes and names.

"y/n"

" minho"

To continue the conversation with her he would tell her about his ex-girlfriend.

"My ex-girlfriend shares the same class as yours Her name is Kimi we just broke up"

y/n's eyes widened a little at his words because it was the first y/n a stranger was telling her about their breakup.

It's the personal thing about minho and Kimi which happened between them and it is something you won't tell a stranger.

It gave y/n a strange feeling that she could not express a sense of the knot of butterflies flying against her belly.

Even though that young man she met seemed to think about his words.

The way he took her to her library was a secret hideout spot for him only.

It was his safe ship.

It was a special day for her and a memory because he only took her to the library even though he talked with her friend too.

Noaya only took y/n with him.

To that safe ship.

"So what's your life like?"

She was sitting on the couch and he asked her a weird question indeed.

As he looked at her, it was clear that he wanted to know every single thing about her. His eyes seemed to be searching for any clue that would help him understand her better.

However, as much as he was curious about her, it was also apparent that he was not the kind of person who would love her in a slow, steady way. minho knew that this was something that would haunt her for the rest of her life.

It was as if her closed heart and coldness were slowly but surely consuming him, leaving him feeling burnt out and drained.

Despite knowing this, she couldn't help but wonder if he would still stick around, or if he would eventually give up and walk away.

As days passed by the dry leaves of trees were coming back to life. He stocked around her more in her eyes he seemed to be an accomplice to her a friend she needed but to others, it looked like something else.

For her friends he liked her.

For Kimi

y/n was the only girl he talked to her.

He would often ask her.

"Do you want to go library with me?"

A secret code so he could steal her away from the crowd of some people who were familiar to her but to Noaya they were strangers as she spent more y/n with him her friends also became strangers to her.

Her friends told her that

"minho seems to have developed a fondness for you. He always seems to be around you

and he doesn't interact with anyone else. It's as if you're the only one he's interested in. Some people have even noticed that he doesn't greet anyone else but you."

He would always ask her out indirectly.

And she would decline his offer.

# Having a fear of attachment can be an incredibly scary experience. It can feel even more terrifying than facing death itself, especially if you have spent a significant portion of your life feeling isolated and alone.

When someone new enters your life, you may feel hesitant to open your heart to them.

You might wonder what will happen if they hurt you, emotionally or physically.

What if they abandon you just like others have in the past? The thought of being neglected or ignored by someone you've developed feelings for can be incredibly daunting.

All of these fears can make it difficult to form meaningful connections with others, even when you want to.

And that's what happened.

All of her friends were slowly neglecting her.

And the person whom she found comfort in was slowly distancing himself from her.

She was sitting with him near the couch in these past few days have been hard for her and Kimi has been confronting her about y/n and minho's relationship.

minho was sitting all silent his eyebrows were furrowed and he looked serious.

y/n couldn't quite hear what he was saying, his voice was barely audible.

But as she strained to listen, she realized that his world must have just shattered. "I am thinking of fixing things with Kimi," he finally uttered. y/n's heart sank as she tried to process what she had just heard.

"As... a couple?" she asked tentatively, hoping that she had misunderstood.

But his response confirmed her worst fears. "No, as a friend," he said. "She was my best friend once, and I should fix things with her before we go to university."

"I see yeah since Kimi was your person you should fix things with her" Utanime tried to smile hiding her sadness behind that fake smile that she had mastered in these past few years.

minho expressed his desire to keep in touch with certain individuals at the university, including Nissan and Kimi. He mentioned that he had noticed a lack of enthusiasm from the other students in his coaching class, and thus had only engaged with a select few. y/n listened to minho's concerns with a compassionate ear, nodding in acknowledgement of his situation.

"y/n I ALSO WANT TO BE WITH YOU ONCE WE GO TO UNIVERSITY "

LIAR: a person who lies to you and makes you believe that after all, you were just a fool in the end.

He said he would be with her till the end.

After resolving the issues between himself and Kimi, he left her stranded and alone, much like how the rain leaves the barren earth waiting for a gentle drizzle to kiss it back to life. She was ignored and not given any attention, as if she was invisible. The worst part was that in the end, she was the one who was blamed for everything that went wrong, even though she had done nothing wrong.

"y/n why are you regretting it now? He liked you first but you were the only one who didn't even spare a glance at him"

"He tried his best to approach you were the one who used to talk shit about him not only behind his back but to his face also"

"Isn't it obvious he would choose Kimi over you since you were just the girl he met while Kimi was his best friend and ex-girlfriend"

"y/n you are the other woman"

In the end, she lost the chance to at least love him.

She loved him because he made her feel loved.

Despite her belief that she was causing him emotional suffering, it was the other way around. He was the one who was tormenting her heart, leaving her in a state of confusion and pain.

She struggled to understand how she could be so blind to his true feelings, and the realization that she had been mistaken all along only added to her distress.

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lavenderlegends · 6 months

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(header by @swiftieblink)

1989 (taylor's version) writing prompts (2 of 2)

(part one here)

[i didn't see anyone else do this and was inspired by @kiddbegins]

i know places (taylor's version) ♡ i can hear them whisper as we pass by ♡ they are the hunters, we are the foxes and we run ♡ baby, i know places we won't be found ♡ loose lips sink ships all the damn time / not this time ♡ just grab my hand and don't ever drop it, my love clean (taylor's version) ♡ hung my head as i lost the war / and the sky turned black like a perfect storm ♡ the rain came pouring down / when i was drownin' ♡ and by mornin', gone was any trace of you / i think i am finally clean ♡ when the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room ♡ let the flood carry away all my pictures of you ♡ i screamed so loud, but no one heard a thing ♡ now that i'm clean, i'm never going to risk it wonderland (taylor's version) ♡ you held on tight to me / 'cause nothing's as it seems / and spinning out of control ♡ didn't they tell us, 'don't rush into things' ♡ ooh, didn't it seem new and excitin'? ♡ i should have slept with one eye open at night ♡ and we pretended it could last forever, eh / we found wonderland ♡ too in love to think straight

you are in love (taylor's version) ♡ time moved too fast, you play it back ♡ your shoulders brush / no proof, one touch, but you felt enough ♡ you can feel it on the way home / you can see it with the lights out / you are in love, true love ♡ you keep his shirt / he keeps his word ♡ for once you let go of your fears and your ghosts ♡ you kiss on sidewalks, you fight, and you talk ♡ says, 'you're my best friend' / and you knew what it was, he is in love ♡ and he keeps a picture of you in office downtown new romantics (taylor's version) ♡ we wait for trains that just aren't comin' ♡ we play dumb, but we know exactly what we're doin' ♡ 'cause, baby, i could build a castle / out of all the bricks they threw at me ♡ baby, we're the new romantics / come on, come along with me ♡ heartbreak is the national anthem / we sing it proudly ♡ we need love, but all we want is danger ♡ the rumors are terrible and cruel / but, honey, most of them are true slut! (taylor's version) (from the vault) ♡ what if all i need is you? ♡ got love-struck, went straight to my head / got lovesick, all over my bed ♡ i'll pay the price, you won't ♡ and if they call me a slut! / you know it might be worth it for once ♡ and if i'm gonna be drunk, i might as well be drunk in love ♡ you're not sayin' you're in love with me / but you're going to say don't go (taylor's version) (from the vault) ♡ i've known it from the very start / we're a shot in the darkest dark ♡ the waiting is sadness / fading into madness ♡ say, 'don't go' / i would stay forever if you say 'don't go' ♡ why'd you whisper in the dark / just to leave me in the night? ♡ 'cause you kiss me and it stops time ♡ and i'm yours, but you're not mine now that we don't talk (taylor's version) (from the vault) ♡ you went to a party / i heard from everybody ♡ you didn't have to change / but i guess i don't have a say / now that we don't talk ♡ i call my mom, she said that it was for the best ♡ remind myself, the more i gave, you'd want me less ♡ i cannot be your friend, so i pay the price of what i lost / and what it cost, now that we don't talk suburban legends (taylor's version) (from the vault) ♡ you had people who called you on unmarked numbers / in my peripheral vision ♡ when you hold me, it holds me together ♡ and you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever ♡ i broke my own heart 'cause you were too polite to do it is it over now? (taylor's version) (from the vault) ♡ you dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor ♡ was it over when she laid down on your couch? / was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse? ♡ was it over then? / and is it over now? ♡ only rumors 'bout my hips and thighs / and my whispered sighs ♡ you search in every model's bed for somethin' greater, baby bad blood (remix) (taylor's version) ♡ you forgive, you forget, but you never let it... go! part one

#taylor swift #writing prompts #writing #writing ideas #prompts #story prompts #fic prompts #prompt list #1989 tv #1989 taylor's version #my prompts #cat swift posts

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sitp-recs · 2 years

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Hidden Gems by @writcraft

September is indeed a blessed month as some of my favourite fandom folks celebrate their birthdays (and I resent that!! 😂). I completely missed Writcraft’s a few days ago so this is a humble if belated little gift to celebrate them. As I put this together I realized I’ve never made a proper reclist for them, despite having read almost everything from their catalogue at this point. The heresy! So I thought maybe this could be some sort of love letter too, to show how much I appreciate their contributions to the fandom over the years.

I’ve been reading Writ’s fics - both Drarry and rare pairs, hello Harry/Teddy and Snarry my beloved! - since 2012. Not even in my wildest dreams I imagined I’d ever get to interact, let alone be friends with the mind behind one of my all-time favorite reads, the iconic Little Compton Street. This story means so much to me it’s impossible to think of it without getting choked up in my emotions.

For the first time I found myself eager to learn more about queer history through fic, because of the touching and sensitive approach to the theme, which got me as invested in it as I was in the Drarry romance. LCS was also the first fic that made me wish I could see a first kiss scene on the big screen (with Bowie’s Life on Mars in the background of course!); it’s the first fic that made me consider James/Sirius as a romantic ship, the first fic that took me by the hand and guided me into London’s vibrant and seductive landscape and nightlife, not to mention the places of historical significance for the queer community. I have recently reread the equally fabulous How We Were Warriors - a must read for any Snarry fan! - and was hit by the same magical feeling of “wow, I’m so privileged to be able to dive deep into 🏳️‍🌈 history while falling in love with NYC”. And it happened organically, in a way that made me feel nostalgic for a place I’ve only been to once in my life. The power that Writ’s storytelling holds!

But as much as I’d love to, I’m not here to talk about LCS or HWWW, but to shine light on a few of my favorite hidden gems by this talented writer, who’s just as brilliant exploring a range of rare pairs dynamics, especially the intricacies of angsty romance between characters with a complicated past. Writ explores these nuances with so much care and sensitivity. Their writing offers a generous but realistic portrait of adult themes like coming out, loneliness, internalized homophobia and mental health. All fascinating yet difficult subjects to navigate. But every fic of theirs transpires heart and research, carefully crafted to guide us through a singular, poignant emotional ride full of catharsis, self-awareness and hope. I consider many of these essential to my fandom “coming of age” so to speak, as I became an adult reader who gravitates towards adult stories about adult characters put in adult situations. Writcraft offers unique perspectives by combining seriousness, grief and sorrow with a spark of youth, wonder and tenderness.

Without further ado, here are some short-ish treats for your weekly reading list. Drarry and rare pairs (especially Snarry and femslash), let’s rejoice! I’m sure you’ll find something for your tastes in here. Lastly, nobody asked but the banner inspo comes from a moodboard I did a while ago, featuring a butterfly. When I googled its meaning, here’s what came up: Butterflies are beautiful and have mystery, symbolism, and meaning and are a metaphor representing spiritual rebirth, transformation, change, hope, and life. The magnificent, yet short life of the butterfly closely mirrors the process of spiritual transformation and serves to remind us that life is short. Not sure how much of that is true but I found it very poetic and fitting!

Writ, thank you so much for everything you’ve done for the fandom throughout the years - for being such an inspiration for both authors and readers, for providing the BEST clubbing fics and being a rare pair enthusiast, and finally, for being a strong voice for queer representation and legacy of resistance and hope. Every time we talk I am in awe of how open and generous you are, always willing to share knowledge and experiences about these themes. I’m so happy to be getting to know you, and I hope you’ve had a lovely birthday last week! 💜

Drarry:

Dapper (2016, E, 4k) - delicious PWP with a perfect balance between smooth development, playful banter and hot hot hot smut! Love their voices here.

Draco starts wearing Muggle suits and Harry’s definitely losing his mind.

Dancing on His Own (2016, E, 6k) - I feel the urge to rec every single clubbing fic Writ has ever written, it’s such a strong trademark and I love their sexy, freeing and entrancing atmosphere. Get ready to fall in love with London nights as our boys inevitably falling together.

Under the decadent lights of London’s gay bars, Draco and Harry find one another again after years of searching.

Merlin’s Kitchen (2021, E, 12k) - another fantastic and engaging clubbing fic with Writ’s brand of sensual atmosphere, rich and adult and so incredibly compelling. I would stay in this universe forever learning more about this charming and fascinating Harry through Draco’s eyes. Kudos for that ending full of promise!

Merlin’s Kitchen is a shit nightclub but having sex with Harry Potter might improve things.

Dirty Little Secret (2013, E, 22k) - a wonderful and refreshing take on BDSM, it’s such a treat to watch Harry and Draco navigate and discover their kinky side, eager and clumsy and relying to much on the hate/love dynamics that we love. They sound so very young and deliciously flawed here, and I adore how this fic gives them room to grow and brings them back together at the end.

When someone threatens Harry’s life, Kingsley decides to send him to a safe house with only Draco Malfoy for company. As the two men are forced together, memories of the past resurface and secrets are discovered.

Collapse Amongst the Dying Stars (2013, M, 26k) - I’ve only read this fic once and it was enough to leave a lasting impression. There’s something to be said about an author who makes you read tropes you usually avoid (mind the tags!) but I was so deeply immersed and invested I didn’t even care. This devastating yet perfectly executed time travel journey will break your heart with this fascinating Draco development and this beautiful, loving Harry. It’s about the catharsis 😔🤌🏼

After the final battle nothing is quite as Harry expected. Death Eaters remain unaccounted for, Malfoy is in prison and there is something rotten in Azkaban. Banned from assisting the Aurors, Harry keeps himself busy with regular visits to Malfoy and works to bring light to the darkness of 12 Grimmauld Place. Cw: implied rape, character death, unhappy ending.

Rare pairs:

Stone Butch Blues (2018, T, 1k) - if you haven’t read the LCS instalment focused on Will/Minerva (which you absolutely should RIGHT NOW) maybe start here with this brilliant short. An incredible take on gender fluid Will and superb dialogue that left me hooked and so curious to learn more about these two. So much character within 1k, my god, what an impressive short!

Will reminisces with Minerva.

Where Thestrals Fly (2014, T, 3k) - beautiful Snarry short, I love the premise and the unique narrative style, it’s wonderful to see their backstory and attraction slowly unravel with the Thestrals ritual and the post-war scenario as background. Soft, sensual, contemplative. Yum!

Every Beltane, Severus and Harry undertake the ritual of moving Thestrals between the Bel fires. As they grow closer the light in their future steadily overpowers the darkness of their past.

Storm Chasers (2020, E, 4.5k) - I’m so fond of my first Ginny/Tonks fic - this is a lovely, poetic and thrilling get together with compelling characters and organic chemistry. I love the intimate writing, the sexual exploration, the A+ character development. Non-binary Tonks is a joy to read!

It starts, as these things often do, with hummus.

Tonight Let's Get Some (2019, E, 4.5k) - oof I’m so thirsty for this scorching Harry/Charlie, you can taste the sexual tension in your bones and their dynamics are quite organic and casual. Great characterization, sexy clubbing aesthetics + voyeurism/public sex as a special treat, my favorite! A must read for any Charlie slut like me 😌

Harry discovers private karaoke rooms are great for blow jobs, gets a crash course in Muggle music and hopes that One Direction songs are the way to Charlie Weasley’s cock heart.

True Colors (2017, E, 6k) - one of the sweetest Harry/Teddy I’ve ever read, this fic holds a special place in my heart. It is so moving and full of gentleness and hope. I love the tentative dynamics and how they slowly but surely come together after dancing around each other. The way Teddy yearns for Harry is so tender it hits right in the feels and leaves me swooning for their love.

Teddy spent the last year running away from his feelings for Harry. Now it’s time to come home.

No Comparison (2020, E, 7k) - imo the ultimate comfort Snarry, very different from the usual angsty take we see out there. This is both hilarious and sweet with a charming take on the characters, delightful flirting banter and a satisfying get together. I love the refreshing “omg they’re officemates” scenario, plus their chemistry is 👩‍🍳💋

Sharing an office with Severus is driving Harry mad. When he discovers Severus isn’t quite as straight as he first believed, Harry decides there’s only one way to resolve their constant bickering.

Holding Out for A Hero (2015, E, 7.5k) - one of my all-time favourite Harry/Teddy fic, this is a sinfully hot and romantic get together + first time, my favourite combo for this ship. So much tender domesticity and soft mutual pining, plus breathtaking smut and a beautiful, sweet Teddy melting both Harry’s resistance and our hearts. I’ve read this one more times than I can count, delicious!

Even as he says no, Harry’s hands push into Teddy’s hair. Even as he protests, his lips connect with Teddy’s. Before Teddy can offer any reassurance his heart’s thumping wildly in his chest and Harry Potter’s kissing him as if there’s no tomorrow.

The Way We Were (2021, E, 15k) - after LCS this was the fic that made my heart beat faster for Prongsfoot! A poignant “coming of age” story with friends to lovers, queer awakening and LGBT themes in the 70s, only Writ delivers this wistful mix of excitement and devastation. This is complex and nuanced with James and Sirius navigating the complicated feelings of their changing relationship, all with the impending war looming in the background.

At nineteen, James Potter is missing Hogwarts, nursing a broken heart and worrying about his ailing parents. James needs his friends more than ever, but Remus is behaving strangely, Peter is too busy with his new job and Sirius has a secret more terrifying than the whispers of a looming war.

#hidden gems s3 #happy belated bday writ <3

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writingquestionsanswered · 1 year

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Hello! I wanted to know if there was any tips to get you back to writing a Story for a fandom that you are no longer interested in. Basically, how can you find that certain ✨️spark✨️ that you once had when you first entered the fandom, in order to find the motivation and inspiration to go back to writing that piece again?

Fan-Fiction: Finding Spark to Finish Old Fic

We talk a lot about "sparks of inspiration" in creative writing, because those creative sparks are what motivate us to write about a particular thing. Sparks of inspiration can come from almost anywhere, but quite often they arise out of our interest in something. For example, if you're interested in high fantasy and you become interested in found family, you might be inspired to write a high fantasy incorporating found family. Your interest in examining the theme and dynamics of found family is what motivates you to write the story. So, when we lose that interest, that's a problem.

So, how do we rekindle that interest once it's lost? With original fiction, it's a matter of rediscovering your interest in the story you wanted to tell--the characters, the world, the themes you wanted to explore, the events you wanted to happen. With fan-fiction, it's a bit more complicated, because not only do you have to rediscover your love for the story you wanted to tell, you have to rediscover your love for the story that inspired you in the first place. In other words, if you're writing Good Omens fan-fiction, for example, you need to rekindle your interest in Good Omens before you can rekindle your interest in your own story. And rekindling your interest in someone else's story... that can be tricky.

We write fan-fiction because we're head over heels in love with a story, whether it's a TV show, movie, book, comic, musical, celebrities, etc. And the thing/s that make us head over heels in love with that story in the first place can be very specific to who we are in that moment in time. The genres that interest us, the actors who put butterflies in our stomachs, the characters we connect with, the themes that resonate with us, and the pairings that gave us life... that can change even after a few months. So, when you've moved on and those things about that fandom no longer interest you, what do you do?

Fake it. You have to fake it. Start by sitting down and doing some thinking about what you loved about that fandom in the first place. What drew you to watch it/read it in the first place? What elements early on made you think "OMG, I LOVE THIS"? What was it about the genre that pulled you in? Who were the actors you liked best and why? Which characters did you connect with and why? What themes resonated with you most and why? Which pairings made your heart beat out of your chest? Try watching some fan-videos on YouTube to remind you of what you loved. Look for character studies, episode or season tributes, ship-focused videos, or ensemble videos. You can also try watching trailers, behind-the-scenes featurettes, blooper reels, clips, cast/crew interviews, and vlog-style videos that examine the story or characters.

Once you've done that, hopefully you'll feel enough of that initial spark that you'll be motivated to work on your fic again. You'll still probably have to think about the story you wanted to tell and why you wanted to tell it, but hopefully this wave of motivation will be enough to help you finish your story.

I hope that helps!

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theboarsbride · 1 year

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Name 5 movies/book/songs/etc that inspired each of your stories!

OOO!!! So sorry this took too long to get around, but thank you so, so much for sending this ask in!! 🥺💛

The Monster and the Butterfly🥀🦋

Crimson Peak - and Guillermo del Toro's whole filmography, tbh, but Crimson Peak especially. And also other ghost movies/shows, such as The Orphanage, The Others, The Haunting of Bly Manor, Mama, Paranormal Activity, The Conjuring I & II.

Panna a Netvor/Beauty and the Beast (1979), as well as Jean Cocteau's La Belle et la Bete.

Various dark fantasy movies and books from the 1980s/90s like The Dark Crystal, Legend, The Company of Wolves, etc. and Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber.

Shelley Duvall's Fairytale Theater "Beauty and the Beast" episode (literally why Susan Sarandon - who plays Beauty - is Sophie's fc)... and honestly, on that same note, Peter Jackson's LOTR trilogy because the fucking music is so good, and Brad Dourif as Grima Wormtongue is the whole reason why the modern version of Edgar exists (and is his fc) lmao.

A Taste for Monsters by Matthew Kirby - and to add onto this, KIND OF?? Is that a lot of inspiration for TMATB came from the hate I feel towards some modern BATB retellings (i.e.- Sarah J Maas' A Court of Thorns and Roses series especially) that feature conventionally attractive 'Beasts' who are only beasts in the sense that they're awful, toxic, cruel people who, to me, don't deserve redemption or romance - or even friendship - as well as female protagonists who are just so, so unlikeable in their bitterness, idiocy, and Mary Sue-ness??? I wanted to write a romance that featured love interests that were unconventional in appearance, flawed but still likeable, and having a relationship that is healthy/consensual!

Cheating and adding a 6th one, but the works of Abigail J. Harding's Parliament of Rooks portfolio! GOTHIC BIRD MONSTER BELOVED!

Those Red Nights🌕🐺

Using Bob Odenkirk as a fc for a werewolf character - literally that's the whole reason why this story exists lmfao. So you bet I was watching the hell out of Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad for inspo (and simp material)!

Silence of the Lambs, the movie especially! But there is also Thomas Harris' Red Dragon novel (and the movie starring Ed Norton and Anthony Hopkins, and the movie Manhunter) that was a source of inspiration!

David Fincher's Se7en - I wanted to write a neo-Noir story for a hot minute, especially ones with psychological horror elements!

Nightmare by Tuesday Knight - this just helped me develop the idea of TRN being a psychological horror, and writing about the themes surrounding nightmares, the haunting effects of guilt, etc.

Werewolf movies like Bad Moon and Silver Bullet

Temperance & Mr. Wyrm 🐍⚕️- I don't talk about this WIP much but I still think about it regularly!

Wanting to do a retelling of the fairytale "The Lindworm Prince" and also wanting to explore writing a weird body horror romance!

The Shape of Water - again, del Toro out here inspiring goofy fucking monster romances!

David Cronenberg's The Fly - tragic body horror romance goodness, my beloved!

General 1980s media and pop culture - a lot of this was kind of inspired by reading My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix! It's a book set in the 80s and utilizes the 80s nostalgia, but it also doesn't shy away from how ugly the 80s were in terms of social stigmas for people who weren't straight white men. In TAMW especially what I'd be alluding to is the stigma surrounding AIDS, and other blood-borne illnesses.

And, lowkey, wanting to have Gwendoline Christie as a fc for a character?? Like, idk, with who Temperance is as a character within the novella, Christie seems to fit her super well! Also the tall gf x short bf is a ship dynamic I ADORE! (also the character of Jack, the titular 'Mr. Wyrm,' is another character where I use Brad Dourif as a fc for but shhhhh i know I'm cringe, don't remind me)

These are the main WIPs I still work on!! There is also The Faeries and the Lark but that's more on the backburner for now, but that story was inspired by wanting to do a genderbent retelling of Sleeping Beauty but has now turned into a Gothic/dark fantasy Sapphic romance that's a funky blend between Sleeping Beauty and East of the Sun, West of the Moon that's inspired by Scandinavian folklore and seeing images of women in armor lmao.

But if there are any WIPs you'd wanna learn about, give me a shout and I'm more than willing to scream about these goofy, silly little stories!!

#jojo rambles #jojo writes #The Monster and the Butterfly #Those Red Nights #Temperance and Mr. Wyrm #The Faeries and the Lark

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jscysbl · 7 years

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Four Seasons

It felt like summer when I first met him: a season where his silhouette had not yet embellished the cracked sidewalk outside my bedroom window. His smile was the sun, whose rays shined only brighter with a laugh; an anthem of joy that circled back to me in the night when sleep was too lazy to cradle me. As we swapped words like trading cards, I felt constant tugging on the corners of my mouth. I was happy. The butterflies I had once thought extinct returned in abundance, eager to bask in the afternoon daylight. Their wings, ever more prominent in the sweltering heat, fluttered against the bones of my rib cage almost without care for secrecy. The branches in my lungs grew foliage scattered with a rainbow of flowers, and I had to remind myself to breathe.

Before I could realize it, autumn had cast its spell a second time. The first remains impossible for me to forget.

There are off days where such ancient history reads more like a stranger's fairy tale than a personal account of teenage romance, but sometimes all you have to do is blow the dust off this old relic of a memory. The only true love I have ever come to know was irresponsibly reckless and broken in too many places. I didn't know that then. What poured out of our hearts was indeed bold, real, and magical, but also deathly impetuous. Once upon a time, it was I, the self-proclaimed inventor of apathy, who was bound to a string of months and days that grew more pointless as it did lengthy. I patiently counted each one with wistful fingertips, as if doing so would make the bruises from the pounding silence fade away. Preposterous. I was a fool then, even more of one than now, but in the end I finally waved goodbye—I had to—before I could be tied to another hello.

I was wrong to think the coronary damage would never heal. Oh, so very wrong. My shoes eventually found home again under a pile of rusty leaves and silver spiderwebs, in a pair of familiar footsteps on the warmer side of the spectrum of fascination. Here we go again. With the return of the fall equinox, the world of dullness transformed into that only of radiance. Budding florae blossomed into spirals of blushing corolla to contest the strongest trees of oak. Vibrant hues bled in an unapologetic harmony, staining all of my white lies and blueprints. I would have never predicted that a few honest evening conversations could serve as my navigation back to no man's land.

The boy I came to know most certainly had flaws, but perhaps that only fueled the fire. I liked him when he seemed perfect; I fell for him when he seemed human. For every lump of coal, there was a diamond; for every blemish, there was a sparkle. I wondered how many I would have to unearth to call this mine. I kept digging, as long as he let me. How do you truly feel about that? What really happened? Are you feeling alright? One day (I truly cannot pinpoint exactly when), I finally hit something—it may have been a toxin, a delusion, a nerve, or a burst of inspiration. Whatever the case, the butterflies were unsatisfied with flying and thus took the form of rocket ships with dreams to explore where no other had before. Like rising sea levels, my feelings burst through the floodgates without warning, and splashed every corner with ink and folly until.... a page long letter finally emerged in the palm of his hand.

And it was terrifying.

Winter rushed in soon after that, and the oddest part was how the icy winds that once blew me away could then not do as much as send even one chill down my spine. His snowflake speech melted on the heat of my tongue and I tasted nothing. A stutter hadn't cut my speech short since a time long forgotten. My hands were still, and my heartbeat was steady. The natural alternation of my inhales and exhales remembered what it means to be subconscious. Everything had simmered back down to normalcy, as if ordinary was all my body had ever known. It was as if the switch had been flipped, except... despite my promise to change things eventually, I hadn't turned it off yet. He beat me to it.

Either I have mastered the frowned-upon art of scapegoating, or the landscape I once adored simply didn't look beautiful in my eyes anymore. It grew... cold outside. The colors disappeared. Everything was so plain. Gone are the visual harmonies, yet I can't say, "all of a sudden," because the possibility remains that the big picture was never picture-perfect in the first place. Perhaps I was blinded by the novelty; overwhelmed by the introduction to a level of brilliance I had never seen anybody else match or even come close to. It was also pretty silly of me to keep my fingers crossed, hoping he looked at my reflection with the same fascination I'd gaze at his with. I thought trust was a balance beam and that our mutual give and take kept us equalized, but it turns out I was never thought to be anything more than convenience. That said, the fault lines are ours. Not more his than mine, nor vice versa. I can call him frosty as many times as I want, but anyone would be so when placed atop a pedestal in a snowstorm for such a long time.

Once the final season paid its expected visit, I was forever grateful. My feelings were messy (if we were to put it lightly) and honestly, a spring cleaning session is long overdue. Given the recent influx of self-contained hurricanes, I'm all for new beginnings. The weather forecast has been pretty darn moody lately.

#poetry #prose poetry #spilled ink #love poem

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myriadxofxmuses · 1 month

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#[no one left behind: oscar]#[perceptible things: aesthetics]#[remind me what butterflies feel like: ship inspiration]

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pascalpanic · 3 years

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Stubborn (Din Djarin x gn!Reader)

Summary: Din Djarin is a difficult man, and well, you’re just as difficult. To your surprise, the stone wall of a man might have some weaknesses too: one of them might happen to be you.

WC: 1.7k

Warnings: some cussing

A/N: This was written as part of an art swap for a friend of mine! Reader is heavily inspired by her, but gender neutral- Miki, if you’re reading this, I love youuuu <3 Follow her on instagram @miknickles, she’s a FANTASTIC artist!

You were starting to fall in love with him, you had to admit to yourself, and you hated it. You might be too hardened for love, you thought, even if you knew hardened was one word that more aptly fit the Mandalorian you worked with. His steely exterior was perpetuated by few words and his imposing physicality. He was scary, you acknowledged, when he wanted to be. Your hardness was far different; you were a warrior too, growing up on a harsh planet with harsh citizens and a harsh family. Your hardness was made of your resilience, not your fear-striking abilities. The two of you were similar: hard-headed, intelligent, committed, and damn if you both weren’t stubborn. Stubborn is one word commonly tossed around on the Razor Crest, used to describe you and Mando- Din, you catch yourself, he had told you his name- and the little green baby who lived with the two of you. Stubbornness was what drew Din to you when you first met, repairing droids in the hangar of a local port. Your obstinance was what convinced him that you could hold your own on the Crest when he’s off hunting a bounty, that you could tame the equally stubborn child he had taken into his care.

Pushing aside the revolting emotions curling inside you, you bite your lip and spit out a cuss as a spark flies between two wires you attempt to connect. “Careful, cyare. Little ears are listening,” teases Din from above you, holding the little green child that put you in this very situation.

“Shut it, tin can,” you grumble from your crouched position in the wiring console. “The brain between those little ears is exactly what caused this.” You shoot the baby a teasing glare, and the green being giggles in response, causing a smile to light up your face. “Yeah you, you little womp rat,” you tell him with a teasing snarl, scrunching your nose in pretend anger. That earns another giggle from the kid and the snarl falls, leaving you smiling. “I can’t stay mad at you,” you coo at the baby before turning back to the wiring. “Well, Mr. Djarin,” you drawl, appreciating the intimacy of finally using his name, “did you have something to say or did you come to stare at me?” You ask drily, focusing on the pieces in your hands.

Din shakes his beskar-covered head. “I came to ask if you needed help, and clearly you do. One more spark like that and you’ll make this whole ship burst into flames.” “I don’t need help. Maybe the ship’s so flammable because this thing is a piece of junk,” you retort back, looking up at him again and holding back a smile by biting the inside of your cheek. “It’s the only pre-imperial ship that hasn’t become a fireball by now.” “It can’t be such a piece of junk if it’s still running,” he fires back, setting down the baby and scooting into the wiring console before squatting down next to you. “Let me help you, mesh’la,” the Mandalorian man offers, grabbing one of the various tools scattered around the floor.

“No. I have this under control. I’m almost done anyway,” you tell him, picking up the tape and ripping off a piece with your teeth.

“Need I remind you that the Crest has been mine for longer? Maybe you’re better suited to droids,” he says, playful yet stoic as he takes the wires from your hands and applies the tape to fix them together.

You scowl at him and then start fiddling with a filament implanted in the wall, letting him deal with those wires. “If that was true, I could’ve and would’ve hit your reset button a long time ago. Leave me alone, I can do this on my own, Mando,” you turn to him with a playful fire in your eyes.

He shakes his head again under the helmet, bending and picking something else up. “We both know that isn’t true. I’m helping you and you’re going to like it.”

“Aw, you almost made me think there’s a human under that beskar,” you taunt, raising your eyebrows at him and challenging, rapping on the beskar of his chest with a closed fist’s knuckles. “Nope, it’s empty,” you say with a mocking frown.

Smacking your hand away, Din almost laughs through the helmet, the quiet sound he makes too low to pass through the voice filter. “I could say the same about you, cyar’ika.”

“I’m fully human, Mando, all flesh and blood,” you say in a jokingly seductive voice, pouting in a flirtatious way at him. Just like always, you remind yourself, this is just normal flirtation between two friends. As you think about what he just said, you look at his helmet, studying the curves and sharp lines chiseled into the indestructible metal. “When are you going to tell me what all these goddamn Mando’a words mean?” You ask suddenly, curiosity getting the better of you, turning to him and looking him right in the eyes through the visor of his mask. You’ve asked many times, and he always deflects it, giving either a bullshit answer or making something up to chide you.

It always amazes him how you can always find his eyes under the helmet. No one else has ever been able to always see right into his soul, through the beskar and everything, when they look at him. He turns his face away from yours, the direct eye contact too intense even though he knows you can’t see his eyes. “When you stop being so damn stubborn and let me help you.”

“Maker, Din,” you groan and continue to look at him. “You’re really trying to call me the stubborn one? You won’t even take off the helmet when I promise not to look. You won’t tell me about your life, you hide everything about yourself from me even though I tell you all of it. The only damn thing I know about you is your name. You never let me come on a hunt, even after I prove my aptitude to you.” You unintentionally start venting your frustrations with him, angrily ratcheting a bolt into the control panel to hold something else in place. “And yet you still like to call me the stubborn one,” you grunt with a particularly hard push on the wrench.

The honesty of the words takes Din back for a moment. He didn’t expect you to actually criticize him, only be playfully harsh as the banter between the two of you normally is. The words sink in and he gives a soft nod. “Maybe I am stubborn,” he sighs and stands, leaving you to it.

It surprises you that he left that easily, and that he almost seemed like he had shown his emotion. It was rare that he gave anything away. “Wait, Din,” you call and sigh as you stand, shimmying out of the wiring space hidden in the wall. He’s already walking away, dramatic as always, and climbing up to the cockpit. You follow after him, climbing up and standing behind his chair, daring to rest a hand on each of the beskar pauldrons covering his shoulders. “Din,” you say, somewhat sharp, needing his attention back on you. He spins in his chair and you remove your hands, bringing them to rest on your hips. “That’s new, you listened,” you mutter to him.

“Do you really want to know about me, cyar’ika?” He asks you, a hand reaching out and taking one that hangs at your side. After a beat of silence, you nod and he pulls you to him, setting you on his lap and continuing to hold your hand. “Well, then I’ll tell you.”

“Tell me what those words in Mando’a mean first,” you ask him, tilting your head and looking down at the black line carved into his mask, where his eyes are hidden.

He sighs and you can feel it in his chest, which your shoulder leans against. “Cyare means beloved. Cyar’ika means... something like sweetheart.” Your heart flutters in your chest. It’s hard to believe he’s been calling you these things the whole time and you had no clue, his brazen flirting in his native tongue being indecipherable to you. He takes a deep breath. “Mesh’la means beautiful,” he admits, voice lowering softly.

The butterflies in your chest have moved to your stomach, settling there and fluttering aggressively enough to cause a hurricane. Your natural coping mechanism comes out again, as always. “Aw, you mean it?” you ask teasingly, moving a hand to the side of his beskar helmet.

He’s baring his emotions now, so he might as well continue, he figures. “I do,” he admits, voice barely above a whisper as it comes out of the modulator.

You’re taken aback, truly. Your mouth opens softly to say something else, but you stop, biting your lip and looking away from him. You turn back, a smile falling across your face. “I have to admit. I’ve never seen your face, but I think you’re beautiful too, Din Djarin,” you say, voice soft, and press a kiss to the beskar, exactly where his forehead rests beneath it. His breath hitches for a moment and the smile widens a little. “I like you, Din. A lot,” you admit, hand moving to his arm and gently rubbing the space between the beskar armor.

“I like you too, mesh’la,” he breathes out, a hand coming to your waist. “In fact, I absolutely adore you.” He brings you into a keldabe kiss, his forehead meeting yours with the layer of armor between them. It’s the most intimate gesture he can give while in armor, you’re fully aware, and it makes the butterflies scatter all over your body, making you absolutely tingle with the appreciation the Mandalorian’s voice held for you.

“Din,” you ask softly, breaking your face away from his and smiling gently down at him. He cocks his head in response, waiting for the question that’s sure to follow. “What do you look like under this?” you ask, caressing the cheek of his helmet with your fingertips.

He chuckles, a low rumble through the modulator. “You can find out when you stop being so damn stubborn, cyare.”

#din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin #the mandalorian #baby yoda #grogu #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #din and grogu

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positivityfortoday · 3 years

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☀ PositivityForToday’s 10K Celebration ☀

There are SO many things worth living for and reasons to smile and be happy! With the help of my lovely followers/friends, I have compiled a list of 1,000 things that make people happy, for my 10,000 amazing followers! Hopefully, this list is able to help you, make you feel better, or give you a reason to smile today!

☀ 1,000 Happy Things ☀

Seeing cows while driving

Moss on really old fallen trees

Seeing a lil baby you don't know in public, and they smile at you!!!

Parents doing their kids hair or just people doing someone they care about’s hair

Really ragged old and well-loved stuffed animals

When the dandelions start blooming

Spring blossom

Daffodils

Bluebells

Sharks

When you're sitting outside your house or something and people passing by wave and say hi

That feeling in the summer when you have your window open and you're listening to your favorite music

When someone does a hobby just because they enjoy it even if they aren't the best at it

Comfort shows and books

People speaking their native languages

When my brother gets something to eat and always gets me something he knows I like

When I finish a crossword

When I see something that reminds me of someone I care about

Paintings

My best friend (I love her so much shhhh don't tell her)

My dog! I love him

My little sisters! Adorable, creative, and very witty. I love them

Music! I get the happy shaky feelings and just,,, y e a h/listening to songs

Singing! Especially for band practice!

Sunlight beams in the morning

The moon

Eagles

That feeling when you’re with friends and you’re all laughing so loudly, and you just feel complete

Talking to my favorite people/talking to my best friend

Sunrises and sunsets

Seeing the stars

Cats

Butterflies/Moths

Snails

Warm sunshine

Purple gel pens

Hugs

My children

Sunny days

Beautiful views

Spending time with my family and friends

Playing badminton

Cycling

Playing with little kids

Playing with dogs

Whales

Animals doing daft things

Talks and walks with my son

Morning breakfast and coffee

A good spicy lunch

Laying in my bed at night and just checking on current affairs and news

My boyfriend

My friends

Art

Owls

Minecraft

Voice acting

Petting my dog

Smelling Flowers

Feeling a cold thing when I’m warm or a warm thing when I’m cold

Giving and getting kisses

Random texts from friends

Coffee flavored chocolate

Singing

Moths with big white wings

Underdone scrambled eggs

A rainy night

Bubbles

That first warm day of spring

Going on hikes

Being outdoors

Candy

Chocolate

The smell of playdoh

Taking photos

Getting new clothing

Candles

Birdwatching

Going on picnics

Writing poetry

Reading books

The holidays

Making people smile/laugh

Coffee

A nice warm blanket

Eating ice cream

Snow globes

Lightning bugs

Flowers after the snow melts

The smell of rain

Sitting on the steps early in the morning

Being the first to wake up

The feeling I get after running

The comfort of a favorite shirt

My girlfriend

Family

Random acts of kindness

Babies

When I play with my dog by pretending to run at her and she goes crazy with excitement

My cat

Rain

Baking

Piano (playing or listening)

Small flowers

Flowy skirts/dresses

Wholesome romances

Hearing a song for the first time and loving it immediately

Playing my flute

Horses

Listening to vinyls on a record player

When someone remembers a little detail about you

Painting my nails

Doing yoga

Doing exercise

Beating a personal record

Rainbows

Making crafts

Taking a shower after a long day

Going to the zoo

Going on vacation

Being at the beach or near water

Watching Netflix

Going to the movie theatre

Watching a live play at a theatre

Learning something new

Teaching someone how to do something

Toasting marshmallows and eating S’mores

Cupcakes

Seeing a shooting star

Taking a nap

When someone compliments me

Decorating my room

Picnics

My favorite band

My favorite celebrities

My favorite actors

Setting a new goal

Collecting rocks

Putting on fresh clean sheets

Seeing Christmas lights

Listening to birds chirping

Giraffes

Camping

Sitting by a bonfire

Eating mashed potatoes

Bullet journaling

Driving in the car with the windows down

Dancing

Looking at pretty pictures

Concerts

Funny jokes/puns/memes

Fireworks

Sparklers

Pretty clouds

My favorite shoes

Getting new art supplies

Making photo edits

Making gifts for my friends and family

Getting gifts from people

Balloons

Succulents

Playing an instrument

Drinking a nice cup of tea

Iced tea on a summer day

Eating fresh fruit

Getting my hair braided

Eating at a restaurant

Being on a boat

Swimming

Making new friends

Finding an animal in nature

Pumpkins and pumpkin patches

Carving pumpkins

Autumn and all the beautiful colors

Acting for theatre

Making video edits

Wearing a costume for Halloween

Dressing fancy

Finding four leaf clovers

Pressing flowers

Scrap booking

Handwritten letters

Stickers

Hummingbirds

Elephants

Eating breakfast

Gardens

Inspirational quotes

Wearing my favorite necklace

Baby animals

Little streams and ponds

Foxes

Sun shining through trees

When it’s foggy out and you can see dew drops on plants and spider webs

Being on a swing

Finally accomplishing a goal you’ve been working on

When a new season of your favorite show comes out

Doing my makeup

Cleaning and organizing

Daydreaming

Taking a bath

Christmas

Watching funny videos

Wearing sweaters and hoodies

Fuzzy socks

Helping people

Little figurines and objects

Popcorn

Brownies

Looking out the window

Wolves

Opening a window for fresh air

The smell of coffee

Watching YouTube videos

Getting a haircut

Seeing a deer in the woods

Watching birds fly

Finding shapes and objects in the clouds

The smell of fresh laundry

When someone tells me something reminded them of me

Stepping on crunchy leaves

Animal crossing

My switch

Softball/baseball

Basketball

Soccer

Seeing cool cars/old cars

Rollerblading

Drawing with chalk on a sidewalk

Going to bed early

Stargazing

Making progress

Checking things off my to-do list

Taking Polaroid pictures

Going for walks

Jogging

Going to the library

Starting a new book

Finishing a good book

Playing board games

Koalas

Slippers

Big trees

Sunlight coming through the windows

Waking up on Christmas morning

Getting book, song, movie, etc. recommendations from my friends

Making music playlists

Finally receiving packages I ordered in the mail

Baking desserts

When my favorite song comes on

When people make playlists for each other

Finding new characters to ship

Having free time

Sticky notes

Sunbathing

Traveling

Peace and quietness

Alone time

Meeting my step/exercise goal for the day

The people who love me

Soup

Coloring books

Getting into bed after a long day

Pillows

Fandoms

How unique and different everyone is

Getting a lot of work done

Looking forward to my future dream job

Playing video games

Being on Tumblr

Taking time for myself

Practicing self-care

Face masks

Finding money you forgot about

Holding hands

The smell of apple pie

Starting a new tv show

Getting letters in the mail

When the seasons change

Summer

Mugs and teacups

Smoothies

Breakfast food

Disney

Going into the woods/forest

Trying new creative outlets

The smell of sunscreen

Eating the food you’ve been craving

Knowing and feeling that people care

Telling a good story

Laughing so hard can’t stop and your stomach hurts

Late summer nights

Late night drives

Sparkles

Glitter

Listening to people I love talk about their favorite things and what they’re passionate about

Listening to podcasts

Turning up the volume of my music

Putting my headphones in

Blasting my favorite songs through my speaker

People accepting and supporting others for who they truly are

Wearing something cozy

Soft light

Love

Warm weather

A well-rested night

Waking up in the morning and feeling refreshed

Knowing that every day is a fresh start

Well written characters

A book I can get lost in

Sloths

My parents

My siblings

My grandparents

The feeling of sand beneath your feet

Heated blankets

Bagels

Toast

Getting something for free

Samples

Constellations

Mason jars

Practicing a new skill

Finding a new hobby

Lazy weekends

Mac n cheese

French fries

Having deep conversations with my best friend

New jeans

Going to IKEA

Skirts

Dresses

Doodling

When other people are happy (especially people I know and love)

Marching band

Sleeping in

Having the day off

Getting new books

Playing guitar

Playing ukulele

Random compliments

A change of scenery

Cuddling

Waking before the sun is up

Reading old letters

Zebras

Exploring

Building Lego sets

Using photoshop to make edits

Journaling

Walking along the seafront and breathing in time with the waves

A good rom-com or nostalgic show

Writing lists

Pinterest boards

Looking back at my accomplishments

Talking on the phone with a friend or family member

Wrapping presents

A blue sky

Loving someone

Waterfalls

Washi tape

Penguins

Donuts

The color yellow

Sleepovers

Cooking dinner

Kind gestures

Trust

Inside jokes

Songs that make you feel nostalgic

Seeing other people’s art

Comfy clothes

Wearing pajamas

Calligraphy

When someone calls you by your nickname

Going to Target

The first sunburn of the summer

Ramen noodles

Chinese food

Thrift shopping

Flower fields

Flowers growing in random places, like through a crack in the sidewalk

Writing

Sparkly snowflakes

When it snows on Christmas

Mixing paint colors together

Perfectly shaven legs

Puddles

The color red

Thunderstorms

The smell of flowers

The ocean

Adult sized onesies

Driving a golf cart

Fairytales

Cartoons

The color blue

Pasta

AO3

Crickets chirping

Seeing everyone’s houses decorated for the holidays, especially Christmas

Other people sharing what makes them happy

Monkeys

Being understood

When someone texts to make sure I got home safely

Iced coffee

Becoming better at communicating with others

Seeing a friend for the first time in a while

Good morning and good night texts

Drinking a cold glass of water

Deep conversations in the middle of the night

Collecting sea shells

Building blanket forts

Tan lines

Being under lots of blankets

Making better health and money choices

Getting chills from a song even after hearing it countless times

Liking how I look

Hot chocolate

Finding new music

Buying cute things

Wearing an outfit I really like

When someone tells you how glad they are to be your friend

Gardening

Watching raindrops race down a window

Trying new food

Finding exactly what I was looking for

Planning my future

Finding a song that perfectly fits my mood or describes how I’m feeling

Writing little notes to people

When someone tells me I did something good

Eating ice cream on a hot day

Making friends with animals

Going to football games

Seeing people genuinely interested in something

Snow days

The last day of school

Winter break

Spring break

Thanksgiving

New Year’s Eve

Turtles

Sitting outside on a cool summer day

Watching rain

Watching the ocean waves come in

Netflix binges

A new movie release I really want to watch

Driving with a window down for the first time in the spring

Taking a cruise

Giving helpful advice

Getting helpful advice

Doing a favor for someone who needs it

Someone referencing one of my fandoms or something I love out of no where

Learning and knowing stuff

Doing something physically challenging or scary

Listening to my bedroom fan while I fall asleep

Coming up with a new creative idea

Finding something I wanted at the store on sale for a good deal

Finishing all my assignments on time or even early

Hugging my dog

Taking my dog for a walk

Teaching my dog a new trick

When strangers stop to say hi to my dog

Listening to audiobooks

The weekend

Finding a new flavor of chapstick

Drinking Kool-Aid, it makes me feel so nostalgic

Watching nature shows on a weekend morning

Watching cartoon shows on a Sunday morning

A good TV show, most likely something I've watched before because that way I know it ends well

A good, delicious comfort meal on a Friday night by myself

A café in the city centre at noon when it's not filled with the morning rush or afternoon coffee breakers

The stars from my childhood bedroom because they're the brightest here

Listening to my favorite playlist really loud on a long road trip and singing to myself loudly in my car

Having an entire day to myself without interruptions from anyone

Opening the curtains first thing in the morning

A new jacket

Going to the cinema on a first release day because it's always super exciting and full of people anxious to see a movie they've been waiting for forever

Listening to live music

Riding roller coasters

Going to amusement parks

Lizards

Seahorses

Starfish

Eating fair food

Feeling an instrument vibrate when you’re playing it

Hearing my dog snore

When my dog dreams in his sleep

Wearing a new piece of clothing for the first time

Feeling the sun on you

Eyes in the sunlight

Seeing city lights

Singing in the shower at the top of my lungs

Looking at someone and them knowing exactly what they’re going to say

Laughing till you cry

Being under a blanket

Going to craft stores

Watching boats

The idea of traveling the world

When my dogs let me lay my head on them

Listening to an old song and having it bring back memories

Candy corn

Crazy socks

Quotes

Fall and the leaves changing color and the crisp feeling in the air

Making snowmen

Making gingerbread houses for Christmas

Making videos with family

Burning a candle

Booping a dog’s nose

Getting letters/notes from people; writing them

Snow globes

Dr. Pepper

Doc martens

Fortune cookies

Potatoes

Easter

Finishing something

Skipping rocks

Warm rain

When someone opens up to you

Finding the right words to say exactly what you wanted

Animal footprints

Eating outside

Fairy lights

The smell of a hotel

Windows

Meeting a new dog

Dolphins

Getting magazines in the mail

Being in the woods as the sun starts to rise and the animals wake up

Warm days

Adirondack chairs

A warm breeze

Clothes and blankets hanging outside to dry

Feeding birds

Aquariums

The color green

Tie dying things

Going to art museums

Going to science museums

New albums from my favorite artists

Seeing moss in nature

Finding cute little mushrooms

When a dog wags its tail a bunch and is excited to see me

Playing fetch with my dog

Obsessing over something and having someone to talk about it with

Going on a walk with my best friend and talking about life

Looking at old pictures and reminiscing on good memories

Reading a book that's so good your brain wants to read faster than it can

Laughing with friends about the weirdest things

Being appreciated for doing small things you wouldn't even have thought about yourself because it's something you *just do*

Being creative

Watching animals

A story I can't put down

Stretching

The moment when you listen to a new song/album by your favourite artist

When you're at a concert and anticipating the moment before the band comes out

When at a concert and they play your favourite song live

The moment when someone compliments your outfit

When you see someone wearing merch of something you like

Seeing the sunrise/sunset

Watching the sun rise out of the water or sink down into it as it’s setting

This ecstatic feeling in general when you're just living in the moment with people who love something as much as you do

Hugging my cat and smelling his fur

Listening to my music by myself and singing to it

Making edits I’m really proud of

Losing hours in a good book or fanfiction

Writing sentences that I actually like

My siblings and my parents when they're being chill and funny

Watching my favorite tv shows and movies and yelling about them into the void

Finding a new good song

Fresh out of the shower + fresh clean sheets feeling when you go to bed

When I come downstairs in the morning and my dog greets me right at the bottom step with her lil’ tail wagging

Knowing that if I ever needed someone to chat with, someone would be there to lend an ear

Tigers

Lions

When you shuffle your music and the exact song you want to hear plays

When all my family is around the outdoor fire on a summer’s evening

When my nieces and nephews give me squishy kid hugs

Being home alone and being able to cook or bake in the kitchen without disruption

Driving around with a friend in the evenings and just belting our favorite songs

Seaside walks

Disney World

Seeing live theatre

The sun shining on leaves and stone buildings

Dancing when I'm alone

Color-coordinating my outfit

Floating on my back in the sea

The smell of summer nights

The smell of winter mornings

Colorful things/environments

Bunnies

Walking along lakes/rivers/the sea

Spending time in nature

Taking care of my plants

Giving affection to my loved ones

Listening to other people's stories

Reading about people I've never met before or places I've never visited before (especially if they are now just a part of history)

Embroidering

Pandas

Swimming in a river or the sea

Stargazing (my favorite moments usually happen an hour before sunrise)

White-caged-bird

Feeling the breeze when I spin and my heartbeat when I dance for an hour at a time

All the wonderful smells of flowers and colours that nature has to offer

Sharing good laughter with someone

Feeling like I belong

Travelling and discovering new customs of different cultures

Hiking or foraging

That feeling when I'm approaching the end of a really good book and I let myself be engulfed by the fact that it's a unique experience, that I'll never experience as the first time again

Observing my local fauna

Petting and taking care of an animal (double the joy if it is friendly with strangers)

Drinking a good cup of honey tea

Finding a perfume that suits me

Eating something sweet

Enjoying a meal with others

Cat paws tapping on the floor

Dipping a biscuit into tea

Trying to catch leaves falling from the tree

Having sunlight hit your face when you’re napping

Objects that cast a rainbow when the sun shines through them

Seeing patterned shadows

Ambient mood lighting

Sleeping

Wearing jewelry

Cheese

Playing chess

Fresh air

Going somewhere new

My Mom’s cooking

Being inspired

When someone holding your hand rubs their thumb lovingly in circles

Picking strawberries

Otters

Painting the walls of my room

Wind chimes

Seeing that your favorite people are active online

Finally understanding something you were struggling with

The excitement you get when someone reblogs your writing or art

Getting a new notebook or journal

Appreciation

Validation

When someone tells you they love you and mean it

The smell of freshly baked bread

When my dog falls asleep on me

Making new online friends

Found family

Finishing cleaning my room

When someone lays their head on your shoulder

Doing something right on the first try

Finally sitting down after standing for a long time

Getting goosebumps from hearing or seeing something you love

Seeing a gorgeous view

Loving someone and them loving you back

Freshly baked gooey cookies

When a song comes on and everyone starts singing

When I’m out for a run and it’s hot and it starts raining. Nothing makes me feel more like a human than getting caught in the rain on a run

Swimming in the ocean

When people are talking about something they really love and get carried away trying to explain it all to you

Puppies

Being in the middle of nowhere and actually getting to see the whole sky of stars that you never get to see in a city

Finding people that love the same things you do

When something silly reminds you of someone you love; like every time I see an orange and green gummy worm I think of my sister

When you’re hugging someone and they squeeze you a little bit before they let go

Weather where you can leave all the windows open in your house

Trampolines

Driving with no destination in mind

Falling asleep to the sound of rain

Hearing other people laugh

Laughing only because you hear someone else laugh and it's just so contagious

The first snowfall of the year

Disney movies

Listening to someone tell stories and they have like 15 side stories in between the main one

Romantic movies

Bubble baths

Smiling between kisses

Wearing sweatpants

A clean house

Pizza

My computer

Cheesy pickup lines

When people tell me they miss me

Cool spring mornings after a storm

My job

Butterflies

New shoes

Oversized shoes

Caramel apples

Volunteering

Meditating

Running my blog

Finding sea glass at the beach

Getting my nails done

Planning vacation

Hot cider

Telling people I love them

Writing in my gratitude journal

Eating homegrown vegetables, fruit, and herbs

Remembering a good dream I had

Happy endings

Colored pens

Decorating for the holidays

Finishing a really good tv show

Leopards

Summer rain

Thunderstorms where I can just open my window to the full extent and just watch and listen

Calls with my best friend

Seeing a meme and sending it to my friends

Getting an email from AO3

That moment when you get an idea for creating something

Walking barefoot on the grass

Sending thank you notes

Writing events I’m looking forward to on my calendar

Dippin' Dots

Spicy food

Seeing a full moon

Eating cookie dough

Eating seasonal food

Bubble wrap

Going to the car wash and getting rainbow soap

Dark chocolate

Soft blankets

Weighted blankets

Soft drinks with crushed ice

When I get an unexpected phone call from someone I love

Wearing flip flops

Longer daylight hours

Having a BBQ

Frosting cookies

Making cupcakes in the microwave

Watching the Hallmark channel during the holidays

Taking selfies or photos with people I love

Putting on lotion

The smell of a baby’s head

The Office

Online shopping

The smell of freshly cut grass

Surprising my family or friends

Looking at the clock when it’s 11:11

Being productive

Quilts

Doing good on an exam

Someone doing a favor for me (especially when I didn’t ask)

Eating pancakes with syrup

Origami

Sprinkles

Confetti

Waving at people

Giving high fives

Complicated Handshakes between you and your best friend

Naps/feeling well-rested

Eating one of my favorite foods

Hearing good news from/about a friend or family member

Looking at nature (these days it's seeing squirrels in my neighbour's garden and looking at my plants and trees)

When make someone happy or feel like I made a difference (including a satisfied client)

Success (good grades, a gifset that does well)

Hugs from my mom

Learning new things

Chatting with my friends because they’re all amazing people

Group watches of my favorite tv show or movie

That feeling when the house has just been cleaned/when I’m freshly showered

Making jokes/laughing with people

Reading fluffy fanfics

Driving on the road to a destination far away, I love the trip as much as (if not more than) arriving at the actual place

Reading affirmations

Green tea

Getting breakfast or lunch from a nice restaurant

Learning about topics that won’t benefit me; like Chinese history, geography, ancient flora and fauna, etc. just things that I find cool

The jokes my girlfriend makes, especially when they’re the same ones she always makes

Stories from the past! Stories from history from people who actually lived through it

Stories in general, just hearing the life experiences of people in completely different positions from me. I love hearing people’s stories

Drawing intricate things, like old buildings, landscapes, and plants

Cooking a nice meal

Grocery shopping and farmers markets especially

My cat! All of her weird little habits too, like how she stands in front of my feet so I’ll push her where she wants to go

Botanical gardens

State parks

Museums

Art galleries

Listening to stories my grandparents tell

When people tell me about their life goals and dreams

Being surrounded by the people I love

Living the best life I can

Partying hard the night away

Daydreaming

Sunflowers always make me smile

Warm tea

Big fluffy clouds in a blue sky

Friendly babies

Hearing a past favorite song

Singing karaoke

Biking riding

Helping others

Chocolate milk

Sweets and fruits

Having fun doing things I love

Dragons

Video games

My favorite things

Writing

Affection

Exercising

Being on Tumblr

Looking at flowers and plants

Playing with my cats

Chatting with my friends (at the moment it’s through zoom, of course)

Finding new ways to decorate my room

Window shopping

Spending time with my boyfriend

Wearing my favorite outfit/accessory

Eating something delicious

The cool side of my pillow

Tears of joy

Woodpeckers

Reading poems

Hugging trees

Tree houses

Airstreams/campers

Playing frisbee

Making sculptures

Puppy ears

The first day of spring

The first day of summer

Sending silly photos to my friends

Building sand castles

Winning prizes at the fair or arcade

Marbles

Cacti

Scrolling through my phone

Writing fanfiction

Seeing someone you haven't seen for a really long time

Putting together collages

Printing out photos I love

DIY projects

Sewing

Crocheting

Listening to steel drums

Haunted houses

Going through a corn maze

Picking fresh fruit or vegetables

Bubble tea

Starbucks

Dunkin donuts

Disneyland

Disney Princesses

Climbing trees

Finishing errands

Rewatching my favorite episodes

Scrunchies

Milkshakes

Ice cream blizzards

Listening to acoustic versions of songs

Hot tubs

Rubber ducks

Coconut flavored food

Dipping fries in ice cream

Discovering a new type of animal

Seeing hot air balloons

Frogs/toads

Splashing in puddles

Having plants inside my house

Teddy bears

Iridescent/holographic things

Bird houses

Breakfast in bed

Crystals/gemstones

Ziplining

Dew drops

Glow sticks

Flower crowns (especially handmade ones)

Spring rain

Watching other people make art

Lighthouses

Finding heart shaped things in nature

Thinking of getting my own apartment

Coming up with a new recipe for food

Cookbook recipes passed down through families

Bookshelves

Making pretty yogurt bowls

Seaside houses

Flying on planes and being in/above the clouds

Flower bouquets

Looking at and learning about the planets

Fruit snacks

Palm trees

Weeping willow trees

Cherry blossoms

Eating cake

Decorating cakes with eccentric icing designs and colors

Whipped cream

Having snowball fights

Hearing Christmas music

Tattoos

Wearing rings

Green grass

A tidy organized desk with cute desk supplies

My craft room

Hammocks

Little cottages

Cotton candy (and cotton candy flavored things)

Looking at all the paint pallet colors in paint stores

Stamps

Taking silly photos in photobooths

Going to the mall

Making jam, especially strawberry jam

Reading outside

Finding a bird nest and watching eggs hatch

Looking at photos of my family and friends

Finding old flora and art books

Eating fresh corn on the cob with butter on a summer day

Lily Pads

Icicles

Inner peace

Sitting under a tree

Not having to turn on the light in your room when the sun is shining through

When restaurants have patios you can dine at

Fishing on a pier

Seeing old couples in public

Making gifs

Trees swaying in the wind

Anime

Dying Easter eggs

Laying in the trunk of a car and watching the clouds or stars

Night lights

Flower shops

Outer space

Kitchens

PB&J sandwiches

Toasted Cheese

LoFi music

Listening to/watching ambience videos

Turtle necks

Peaches

Looking at old maps

Figurines of the earth/globe

Honey and bees

Cheesecake

Seeing footprints in sand and watching them be washed away by waves

Anything related to the moon, stars, and sun

Reading my horoscope (even if I know it’s not real)

Archways decorated with hanging flowers

Yogurt

Pudding

Knowing that I’m not alone

Ancient roman sculptures

Macarons

When someone tells me they care about me

Weddings

Watercolour

Birthday parties

My brother

My sister

When my dog leaves his bed to lay in the sunlight

Doing mini photoshoots with my friends

Hand making bracelets/necklaces (friendship bracelets)

When someone calls me darling or honey

Love letters

Game night

Skateboarding

Stress balls and squishy toys

Starting something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time

Playing cards

Doing puzzles

Word searches

Kittens

Ordering takeout

Stepping out into the fresh air

Creating vision boards

Getting a massage

Writing positive affirmations

Lunch dates

Standup comedy

Listening to classical music

Nature/animal documentaries

Having someone there to listen to me

Listening to someone when they need it

Accepting myself for who I am

Looking back and seeing how far I’ve come and all the progress I've made

Doing something my future self will be thankful for

Speaking up for myself

Being near loved ones

Finding time for my hobbies

Giving myself time to rest

Saturday mornings

Marrying the one I love

Discovering new things

Going to new cities

My idols

Pastries

Feeling the wind on my face on a car ride

The sensation of music in my ears and like nothing else matters

People who have my best interest in mind

Simplicity

Fulfilling my dreams

Discovering a new ice cream flavor

Knitting

Making myself a priority

Knowing that I am important, and I matter

Thank you all so much for following me and supporting my blog! It means a TON! I never expected for this blog to become popular, especially because I originally started it to help myself get through some mental health issues. I am so happy to be able to share my journey of healing with you all! It means the world to me to help or make a positive impact on even just one person’s life! Each and every single one of you is amazing!! You matter and you are SO important! Thanks again for your everything! Have a great day!!! Sending sunshine your way!!

#10K Followers!!!#WOW!!#Thank you so much!!#Positivity #Happy List #Reasons to Smile #Happy #Happy Things #You are so amazing #You Matter #<3 #jkshdfka #this is the project I was working on #thanks everyone for the help #ilyasm #I loved reading all your submissions so much #you all are so sweet ahh #this was so fun to do #I hope you like this

156 notes · View notes

melzula · 4 years

Text

Fire Lilies

pairing: Zuko x princess!reader

warnings: fluff, angst, forbidden lovers au

notes: this is my first zuko piece and also my first atla piece ever so pls excuse the fact that it’s a little clunky 🥺 this isn’t really canon to the show but the reader is princess of the southern Water Tribe and a water bender. also this may or may not have been inspired by the secret tunnel song... anyway, i may make a part two to this but for now enjoy!

summary: “Two lovers forbidden from one another. A war divides their people.”

Tensions between the Fire Nation and the Water Tribes had never been higher, and the possibility of war was a continuous threat that loomed over both nations. Constant efforts of parley and council meetings proceeded throughout the years, but neither side could ever seem to reach an agreement both deemed satisfactory. As chief of the Southern Water Tribe, such negotiations seemed to weigh heavily upon your father’s shoulders, and despite being the crowned Princess there was nothing you could do to help him.

“A council of negotiations is no place for a princess,” he would remind you every time you attempted to give your own insight and opinion on the troubles your people faced. Your father would leave you then in the care of your mother and your handmaidens, an apologetic kiss placed upon your forehead before his departure.

“The council is overrated anyway,” you would huff in an attempt to conceal your disappointment and annoyance at the unfairness of it all, “it’s just a bunch of angry old men who are too stubborn to set aside their differences for the sake of peace.”

And yet despite your renouncement of such a meeting, you always found yourself sneaking away from home and towards the council chambers where the negations often took place. Your people believed that women held no place in war, only meant to be gentle hands and spirits that served and guided their people. Such expectations were set even higher for Princesses, and so you were restricted to activities such as practicing your healing and providing aid to your people. You loved your tribe with all of your heart, but you found the traditions they practiced rather... well, for lack of a better term, stupid. You could be doing so much more to help if only your father would let you participate.

The stars are bright on this particular evening, a glimmer of hope that hangs over the dark blacks and reds of the Fire Nation ships arriving at the docks; it’s the southern tribe’s turn to host the meeting. You can’t see much from where you stand other than the outlines of the soldiers, guards, officials, and the royal family, but you know for a fact that the minacious figure leading the procession is none other than Fire Lord Ozai. You’d only ever crossed paths with the man once when you were four, and it had purely been an accident on your part, but you knew that if you hadn’t been the Chief’s daughter you would definitely have marks to show for the encounter.

Considering the fact that you’re the only Princess and heir to the throne, it’s surprisingly easy scaling down your balcony and sneaking off into the night without a second thought. Though you found the underestimation of women in your tribe extremely insulting, the “helpless princess” front sure kept suspicions off your back. The nation is quiet with everyone either tucked inside for the night or present at the meeting, and there is no one to stop you from hiding yourself amongst the shadows outside the meeting hall and taking a peek inside.

Various political figures sit at the long table, your father and the Fire Lord sitting at opposite ends. The atmosphere is heavy and thick, the air silent as each side dare’s the other to speak first, and perhaps part of you is glad that you don’t have to sit through such a meeting.

“What are you doing?” A voice calls, and you’re grateful for the fact that you’re able to contain your startled gasp so as to not blow your cover. You whirl around with a murderous glint in your eye and the intent to blast whoever almost gave you away with an icy cold wave of water, but your demeanor changes in an instant as you realize who the voice belongs to.

“Zuko!” You squeal, all caution thrown to the wind as you fling yourself into his arms. The sheer force of your impact sends you both toppling back onto the snow, but the prince can’t help the laugh that leaves him as he winds his arms tightly around your waist.

“I guess I don’t have to ask if you missed me,” he teases. The two of you sit up from the ground once you release him, and he watches with a fond smile as you carefully brush the snow off of his clothing.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come. Things have been so tense.”

“You know I’ll always come see you,” Zuko comforts before pressing a delicate kiss to your temple. Your relationship with the Fire Nation prince was a complicated one, but there was no denying the love you two shared.

You had first met when you were four and Zuko was five. Originally you were meant to be a playmate for Princess Azula, but she had made it clear that she would much rather torment the white hamsters than spend her time pretending to be your friend. It was Zuko who took interest in your companionship, sledding on the otter penguins with you during the day and sharing secrets at night.

“Princesses aren’t allowed to water bend, but sometimes when no one’s looking I practice my combat skills,” you had told him. “I can also do cool tricks.”

“Really? Like what?”

Zuko watched in awe as you used the water in the air to swirl the snowflakes that fell from the sky into the shape of a butterfly, delicately flapping its wings so that it landed on tip of the young prince’s nose. Joyful laughter escaped him at the sensation, and it was then at four years old that you knew the Fire Nation boy would always hold a special place in your heart.

You kept your courting a secret for the sake of making things less complicated for the both of you. It wasn’t necessarily against the rules for the two of you to be together, but it was just easier to keep it to yourselves. Keeping politics and prying eyes away from your relationship was what made it so strong; you weren’t the Fire Prince and the Water Tribe Princess when you were together, you were simply Zuko and y/n. And it was nicer that way.

“Close your eyes, I have a surprise for you,” Zuko smiles, rolling his eyes at the way your eyebrows immediately furrow in protest. “Just do it.”

With a reluctant sigh you shut your eyes and let out a small hum, waiting for whatever prize may come your way. Something gentle and sweet smelling is placed in your lap, and you open your eyes to see a bouquet of flower lilies resting upon the skirt of your dress.

“Oh, Zuko!” You gasp, picking the bundle up and admiring the beautiful petals. “They’re gorgeous.”

“I knew you’d like them,” he grins. “There aren’t many flowers around here.”

“The snow prevents anything from growing,” you agree with a small smile. “You’re so thoughtful.”

“Anything for the Princess.”

“I love you,” you profess, sighing happily as his lips meet your own in a tender kiss. Times like these were few and far between considering you both came from opposite sides and only saw each other once a month, so you liked to savor the feeling for as long as you could. However, your moment of bliss ended much sooner than you had anticipated.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Your father’s voice bellows from the entryway of the meeting hall. You’re quick to scramble onto your feet and away from Zuko, but the fire lilies are still clutched tightly in your hands.

“Father, I-I can explain,” you begin to say only for him to take hold of you by the elbow and yank you away from a terrified Zuko. The bouquet of flowers falls from your grasp and drops onto the snow.

“How dare you try and soil my daughter!”

“I-I didn’t mean any harm, sir,” Zuko tries to say, “I love and respect your daughter.”

“Love,” your father scoffs. “Fire Nation monsters aren’t capable of love. They only bring pain and heartache wherever they go. For as long as I live I never want to see you near her again, is that clear?”

“Father, you can’t!” You cry, but the deterrent glare he sends your way has you backing down in an instant. You know better than to argue with him when he has that crazed wide eyed look on his face; your father was a good man and a great chief, but he could be ruthless when it came to his people and his family- especially with you.

“Yes, sir,” Zuko utters quietly, eyes cast downward and refusing to meet your gaze. Fighting your father’s decision would only make things worse, and he doesn’t want you to suffer any more than you have to.

“Now run along child,” your father instructs gruffly, “and don’t come back.”

Zuko takes one last longing look at you, and the pleading you look you give him that begs him not to go has his heart breaking into two. Chances are this is the last time he’ll ever see you again, and he wants to commit the details of your memory permanently to his mind. He wants to remember the curve of your lips and the smoothness of your hair, the red of your cheeks from the cold and the tears that brim at the corners of your sparkling eyes. You are beautiful, ever since you were children he thought so, and in his mind he’d always remember you as the Princess with the snow butterfly and the bouquet of fire lilies.

Tears steadily fall down your face as your father guides you home by the elbow, carelessly stepping on the lilies in his path. They crumple and wither under his boot much like your heart had at his banishment of your beloved Zuko.

“Your mother should have kept a better eye on you,” he mutters harshly, glancing sideways at your trembling form. If he holds any remorse for breaking your heart he doesn’t show it, and it makes you feel all the worse. “It was for your own good, y/n. You may not see that now, but someday you will.”

“What happened to keeping the peace?!” You cry in protest. “I thought you wanted our nations to come together in harmony? Zuko and I are proof that it’s possible!“

“There will be no peace,” is your father’s solemn reply. “The Fire Nation has declared war.”

A small gasp leaves your lips at his confession, your stomach tying itself into knots so tight it almost makes you want to vomit. Your father says nothing more as he hands you off to your nurse maids and orders extra guards to ensure you can’t escape again. Everything feels as if it’s come crashing down upon you, and there isn’t a single thing you can do about it.

Snow begins to fall with the departure of the Fire Nation ships, and your forgotten lilies are suffocated underneath the clean sheets of ice.

*part two

#zuko #zuko x reader #prince zuko #prince zuko x reader #zuko imagine #prince zuko imagine #avatar the last airbender #atla x reader #atla imagine #angst #forbidden lovers au #secret tunnel

2K notes · View notes

baezdylan · 3 years

Note

you said you prefer platonic love over romantic, so you do believe it’s possible to be in love with someone platonically because i think i am? i don’t really know- it’s definitely not romantic because i don’t think about kissing them etc or anything like that- or feel “butterflies” towards them but when i talk to them i feel like the happiest person ever, i always want to be talking to them and always can’t wait for the next time we speak, like idk how to describe it but just talking to them because my heart so full and i do love them very much, i feel a lot of love towards to them it almost hurts sometimes because of how much i do, idk what the point of this was but yeah i’m #confused

Before anything else, thank you for coming to me with this anon. I feel qualified to respond because this subject is something I tackle a lot on here and it's something I spend a lot of the time writing about (also, Jo and Laurie from Little Women is my favourite fictional dynamic ever and I have a hard time explaining how I do not ship them whenever the topic comes up so yeah :/). My storybook is essentially about this: the power of love, but more than anything else, the power of platonic love. I'm going to be using a lot of quotes from there while creating this post because I feel like it could help you, if not understand what you are feeling, then at least help you be at peace with being confused. You absolutely don't have to label your emotions and try to put them in some kind of boxes. Trust me, I had a lot of trouble with that myself and ended up being content with not knowing how to name whatever feelings I had until the answer revealed itself to me. Labels can be helpful, but only if you feel comfortable with them. It's very human, that need to attach explanations and names to objects and sensations. Human, but not necessary or obligatory. Anyhow, back to platonic love. I'd like to mention a quote by the amazing Alice Oseman, taken from her book "Radio Silence" (you should definitely add that to your reading list if none of my ramblings help because it has a couple of platonic soulmates at its centre and it's brilliant, in every sense of the word): "I'm platonically in love with you." See? Same words that you used, so yes: if you are experiencing it, it's possible. Somebody must have felt it. You can love someone without wanting to kiss them or whatever it is that romance is supposed to mean because I don't understand a thing about it. All I know is that, and I have said it before, people should feel free to state their love to one another without the romantic implications. I agree that it's hard. The world functions in a way that says: marriage is the core of everything, everything revolves around marriage, finding your partner is the primary life goal, you're worthless if you're not dating anyone, if you say you're happy being alone you're a desperate liar. No wonder people, consciously or unconsciously, feel that pressure and expect their first strong emotions to be romantic. I agree that it's hard, changing the way the world functions. Well, that's not what you should think about changing. When I write, I think about individual minds exploring my work and if one person ends up thinking about what I have written, I count that as a win. So anon, work on your own perspective, share your opinions or the process of your thinking and somebody will find themselves inspired by your words. Write "friendship=love not lesser than love" on the back of your notebook and somebody will see it.

Another aspect of your ask that intrigued me is just how much it reminds me of my own characters, from the storybook that I mentioned at the beginning. It's called "scrapbooks of flowers" and I'm going to share some passages from it. I really want you to know that your feelings are valid. You might find these more convincing that what I've written above. I will link the specific chapter with the text:

"You're in love with that boy."

It's a statement, a clear decleration said with such certainty and Dorothy should claim it as valid. But, before anything else, she never thought of Rev as a boy. He was always a person for her. Her person. And she should accept this explanation Celestine is providing her with and say: "Yes, I am", put on a soft smile and play with the buttons of her shirt. That's what a girl in a movie does. And just like that, everything would have been resolved.

"I don't think that's true enough. "

And it's left at that."

"Dorothy has somehow managed to get away from him. She's so far into the field, the sun complimenting her, embracing her features as if it was always meant to hold her. Her and no one else. It makes him question his sanity, which he, for the record, does a lot of anyways, no matter the circumstance. Today's dilemma consists of wondering if he was running in the first place. Dorothy positions herself on the grass, her back the sole part of her that he can actually see. A strange fear blossoms inside of him, spreading its petals, tickling his sides. Teasing him. What if she doesn't look back?

But she does look back and then, he's already close enough to touch her. He doesn't. He takes a few steps forward and she lies down completely on the grass in return, staring at him from her flowery kingdom. He stays where he is, smiling from the above, not quite certain if he should put his hands in his pockets or not. There are moments like these, when he feels entirely disconnected from his body, when he wishes to observe and observe only, without the burden of existing and following people, endless parts of himself, around.

"Pass some of that magic to me, will you?"

He hears it as a joke, but it rings in his ears like an echo. Probably because he should pronounce it back."

"She can't put whatever she feels for Rev in a box. She can't frame his picture in a locket and call it true love. That's why she mumbled that question last night, despite clearly knowing she won't get an answer from Celestine or anybody else. But she needed to say it out loud. If Rev was here, she would have told him. And more importantly, he would have understood."

"He smiles with that smile that died decades ago and she knows. He understands. The blurry lines, the lack of labels, the string that's connecting them. All of it.

She loves him. For whatever it means, in whatever way, in whatever reality.

She. loves. him.

And that's all that can be said about it."

"The town thinks that Revelius and Dorothy, her brother's person, are dating. Nova understands where they are coming from. For instance, Revelius and Dorothy hug in public places. They embrace one another so tightly that Nova wonders how they still recognize air. She asks her older brother about the rumours and all he says in return is: "love never repeats itself". She isn't sure what exactly does he mean by it, but the line never leaves her head."

"Now this, this is what's always been fascinating to him. People are quick to put you in a basket and call you a cold hearted scientist if you like numbers and chemicals or call you an artist if you enjoy theatre or literature or paintings. In actuality, those things don't have to cancel each other out. The concept confuses him, but he's sure of its validity because Dorothy never needs precise words or clarifications despite her being good at and genuinely enjoying science (he too enjoys science, but he's no good at it which ultimately led him to buying an entire set of books about people involved in science that he continuously gives up on reading). He's different. Rev knows blurry lines like the back of his hand. That doesn't mean he likes them."

That's about it. Platonic love is practically all I talk about and a lot of my short stories can be read as both romantic and platonic, but I chose these quotes because I think they compliment what you are feeling very well. Feel comfortable to send in another anon ask and tell me if any of this helped. For the end, here's that famous Leo Tolstoy quote because I'm a nerd who sleeps with her Anna Karenina copy beside her bed:

"I think... if it is true that

there are as many minds as there

are heads, then there are as many

kinds of love as there are hearts."

#platonic love #love #platonic soulmates #my writing #jo rambles #discussions #long post #question...?🔮#anon ask #radio silence #alice oseman #anna karenina #leo tolstoy #jo x laurie #little women #louisa may alcott #scrapbooks of flowers

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abstract-moth · 3 years

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I was tagged by @simuran Thank you for tagging me! This was very enjoyable to do 😊

1. Why did you choose your URL?

Okay, it’s a bit of a story and I don’t think I ever fully explained it before.

My url is based off of my ao3 user name. I had actually been writing on fanfiction.net for years before I made my ao3 account, so my ao3 name was based on the ff.net one.

When I first made my ff.net account, I had no idea what to name it. So I just copied my Bakery Story username (I don’t play the game anymore).

I only started to play Bakery Story because years ago I was volunteering at an event at my old preschool. There wasn’t actually a lot for me to do, so I quickly become bored out of my mind, and needed something to occupy my time. I needed to come up with a user name, so I looked around the room for inspiration. I remembered an art project in preschool where we made watercolor coffee filter butterflies. At the time “abstract” was once of my favorite words, so I tried the name “abstract butterfly.” This was too long, so I shortened it to “abstract moth.”

And now I really like moths.

There is a sticker of a moth on my laptop. It helps motivate me to write.

2. Any side blogs?

Nope. I do not have the content, time, or attention span to maintain that.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

Earlier this year, but I had been lurking for years.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

No. I do schedule posts, but this is only because my time management is terrible and if left to my own devices I would never consistently post content.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I wanted to be more active in fandoms and connect with people.

6. Why did you choose you icon/pfp?

I took the picture on vacation. The joke is that we’re all here because of “ships.”

Also I have no good pictures of moths.

7. Why did you choose your header?

This is another picture I took. Honestly, I don’t know if it is visible. Whenever I use the app I can see it just fine, but if I switch to the web browser it doesn’t show up.

Anyway, it’s supposed to be a tourist looking over a lake. I really like the ambiance of it, but I think I’m going to change it.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

This Shadow and Bone/Six of Crows post.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

10. How many followers do you have?

11. How many people do you follow?

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

I don’t fully understand what a shit post is, so never intentionally.

13. How often do you use tumblr?

At least once a day.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

Nope. I find them pointless, so I avoid them whenever possible.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog” posts?

It depends on how interesting the actual post is. If the rest of the post is actually interesting, then fine I’ll reblog it. But if it isn’t, then those words alone are not going to make me reblog it.

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes. I actually enjoy them a lot, but they often take me a little while to complete.

(Every now and then I would get tagged in a post, it’ll get lost in my notifications, and I’ll forget to do it. If you tag me in a tag post and I don’t do it after like a week, feel free to send me a reminder.)

17. Do you like ask games?

Yes. Never done one though.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I honestly do not know.

I’m tagging @mango-of-the-sea @hikarry (absolutely no pressure), and anyone else that wants to do this

#tag game #original post

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cheuwing · 3 years

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James Sholto & Flowers

At long last, it is finally time to publish this meta! I adore TSOT and its intricate flower subtext (I already wrote two pieces about it: x, x). As we’ll explore in this analysis, it is fascinating to see how much the flowers associated with James Sholto can tell us about him and his link with John.

First of all, I find it quite striking to note that James Sholto is always presented surrounded by flowers and nature. Admittedly, TSOT is a very flowery episode, but:

John and Sholto warmly greet each other in the flowery reception hall and its nature-inspired wallpaper,

Sholto’s room is covered by the most flowery wallpaper (and I will point out what a fascinating choice of pattern it is),

Sherlock and John discuss James “former commander/ex” Sholto in a park (surrounded by grass with sparse daisies),

there are paintings of flowers hanging in the hall while John, Sherlock and Mary try to save Sholto.

This character is constantly associated with nature and flowers, which serves to convey an intricate subtext.

So let us embark on an exploration of this flowery subtext!

The wallpaper in Sholto’s room

On the wallpaper in Sholto’s room, we can observe a pattern including:

pink forget-me-nots (5 round petals, distinctive shape),

oak leaves,

shamrocks.

I will start to focus on each symbol, before trying to combine their meanings.

A) Pink forget-me-not:

The flower symbolises the reminder of an old flame, as well as moments spent with a loved one you don’t want to forget. The flower represents a strong connection lasting through time. It conveys the remembrance of a true and undying love during partings or after death and highlights fidelity and loyalty in a relationship despite separation or challenges.

(personal hypothesis => typically, forget-me-nots would be blue, so using pink ones as a pattern for Sholto’s room reinforces the romantic/sentimental symbolism)

So: reminder of an old flame, remembrance of true, albeit forsaken, love.

I will not try to hide my belief that John and Sholto shared an intense relationship. To me, the entire episode establishes James Sholto as John’s former lover, and creates multiple parallels between Sherlock and Sholto. Sherlock’s words “we would never do that to John Watson”, which confirms Sholto’s assertion that they “are similar”, combined with Sholto’s pained expression reflected in a mirror is pretty damning in itself.

Having Sholto surrounded with walls of pink forget-me-nots (as he’s about to die... and will be saved by John) strengthens this implication. Actually, the very first image we see of Sholto is surrounded by this wallpaper (combined with a parallel between Sherlock and Sholto putting their uniform on, going “into battle”). Therefore, it seems both men are assimilated to “old flames”, men who face separation from their loved one as they witness John marring someone else. They both stay loyal to John through this difficult parting (And as the story unfurls, John ends up saving the lives of both men, aka their hearts, in series 3).

***

Incidentally, Sholto is not the only person associated with pink forget-me-nots in series three. Mary wears a pink forget-me-not necklace during the confrontation scene. I already explored the connection between Sholto and Mary via the flower. To sum it up, my belief is that Sholto and John shared an intense relationship, but it left John heart-broken with even more trust issues. To me, through the forget-me-not, Sholto and Mary are linked as two lovers who have betrayed John, his love and his trust, disappointed him and/or left him heart-broken.

Of course, now that TAB came out, we have another association with the forget-me-not: The Bride. “Do not forget me...”. The Bride is strongly linked to Mary (... the bride) and Moriarty. I personally think that we can discard Sholto for this connection (although imagining Sholto in a wedding dress seeking revenge for John’s potential past misbehaviours is quite tempting). Interestingly, it won’t be the only link with Moriarty & Mary in this room.

B) Oak leaves:

In the Victorian language of flowers, oak leaves mean bravery.

The oak is a symbol of strength and endurance. A tree highly revered for its size and longevity. It is also associated with honour, stability and wisdom.

Oak leaves are strongly linked to military traditions. In Antiquity, victorious officers were offered oak-leaf crowns to honour a successful campaign. The tradition extends today, for example with the US army using the oak leaf as a symbol for some of their decoration.

(Also, oaks tend to be very good shelters, such as Major Oak, a large English oak tree, very popular, which is said to have sheltered Robin Hood and his merry men, or Royal Oak, the saviour of King Charles II)

Other interesting associations with oak leaves:

The Royal Float Auxiliary counted two ships named Oakleaf, one of which served as a “dummy battleship” to imitate HSM Iron Duke. This strongly reminded me of John playing the “dummy” for Sherlock in HLV, as well as Sholto’s role in TSOT, mirroring Sherlock’s feelings in a more intense manner.

The oakleaf is a type of butterfly, an insect favoured by Mary (once again). Its wings are shaped like leaves, so there is an implication of hiding, camouflage.

C) Shamrock:

The shamrock is the symbol of Ireland. To me, the obvious association with Ireland found in BBC Sherlock is Moriarty (especially if you consider the waterfall painting). It has been debated whether Moriarty actually planned for Sholto to be killed at John’s wedding, acting as a consulting criminal for Jonathan Small.

The shamrock could represent the fact that Moriarty is looming over the wedding, maybe through his allies: Mary, Tom or Janine?

Additionally, the shamrock is a symbol of the trinity. And I find it incredibly interesting, as it is a concept which is repeatedly associated with the wedding => the engagement ring is a three-stone ring (symbol of the trinity), "my husband is three people", the whole episode is entitled “the sign of three”, which features multiple love triangles (TSOT introduces Sherlock/John/Sholto, John/Sherlock/Janine, Greg/Molly/Tom, and confirms Sherlock/John/Mary). Plus, TSOT presents three love interests of John Watson’s life.

(Personal hypothesis linked with the concept of trinity => in John’s heart, Sholto = faith; Mary = hope; Sherlock = love?)

D) The wallpaper symbolism

On the wallpaper, we have a pattern of a pink forger-me-not surrounded by oak leaves and crowned with a shamrock.

The pink forger-me-not strongly implies that James Sholto is a former romantic interest of John. Even if the two men are now estranged, John and Sholto still share a connection to this past (the flower is a symbol of remembrance).

Oak leaves surround the flower, which might suggest that the notion of strength/resilience applies to this “remembrance of an old flame” as much as Sholto himself. Obviously the character is strong, resilient, focused on honour and has ties with the military. But it would make sense that the “reminder of an old flame” is very strong for Sholto (and probably John) on this particular day. He’s seeing his former love interest marry another person, is about to die at the wedding if not for the terrible thought of causing John pain. From John’s perspective, the audience witnesses how much of an eager admirer he still is of James Sholto - he speaks of him with similar expressions and fondness as he does for Sherlock, and he seems very enthusiastic, touched even, to see him again.

A shamrock is crowning the pattern (“and honey, you should see me in a crown”). Combined with the waterfall painting and the forget-me-not’s association with the Bride, it hints at Moriarty’s presence around Sholto. However, the shamrock is tiny in comparison to the other elements of the pattern. It may be a sign that Moriarty is involved in Sholto’s attempted murder, but, as we know, he failed. (Since Sholto is Sherlock’s mirror, it might also represent Sherlock’s fear of Moriarty, his other deep anxiety we know of, on this distressing day).

Furthermore, it is striking to observe that this pattern is composed by three elements, one of which is related to the concept of trinity. Once again, the wedding is connected to the number three. It is even more remarkable when you note that in the “saving Sholto” scene, John is surrounded by three persons - or, three love interests -: Sholto, Mary and Sherlock.

The wallpaper pattern could apply to all three of them =>

Sherlock -> Sholto’s mirror. He could be considered an old flame at the wedding, and we see both he and John celebrate (/pre-emptively mourn) their relationship in this episode. Sherlock is strong and resilient, as is his remembrance of the apparently lost romantic bond with John as they have to part. Moriarty and The Bride are looming over him (do not forget them), in connection to this precarious love situation with John.

Mary -> linked with the forget-me-not in HLV. She is strong and resilient. The shamrock might be a sign that Moriarty is looming over her, threatening her wedding and her stability with John; or it could imply that Mary (the bride) is tied to Moriarty (The Bride), maybe working together. I have theorised before that Moriarty and Mary might have been romantically involved, which pairs nicely with the pattern: reminder of an old flame, tied to Ireland, while someone dies at her wedding...

Sholto’s armchair

Sholto’s armchair is adorned with colourful lotus.

In the Victorian language of flowers, the lotus is a symbol of estranged love. It is rather interesting to note the correlation with the meaning of the forget-me-not. Sholto is already associated with two symbols of old flames, of forsaken/estranged love.

The lotus is also linked with the symbolism of the cycle, as it closes each night and blooms with the daylight. It is tied to the cycle of life/death/rebirth.

I find this idea engaging, as Sholto is between life and death when he sits down in the armchair. He has decided to accept his fate, until Sherlock, his mirror, reminds him the importance of John's feelings. It is then that Sholto chooses life, effectively going through the whole cycle.

Additionally, I believe that the idea of cycle is quite relevant in an episode which introduces John's successive love interests (Sholto, Sherlock, Mary) and presents multiple love triangles. Sholto is the oldest intense relation we know from John's life. But his position in John's heart belongs to the past: after a traumatic event (John being shot in Afghanistan, or perhaps a traumatic break up), Sholto left room to another man in an armchair (Sherlock), followed by Mary after another traumatic event (Sherlock's "death"). We know Mary's position in John's heart will change due to a traumatic event (Mary shooting Sherlock - or, depending on how you see things, Mary's death) (I had written this before s4 xD). The triumphant relationship presented in the episode is doomed to fail. The cycle will continue.

The lotus is also a symbol of purity and spirituality.

In a spirit of comprehensiveness: the lotus also makes me think of the Black Lotus in TBB. I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it if not for the other ties to Moriarty in the room.

Saving Sholto - flowers in the corridor

A) The yellow flowers in the staircase

We only see this flower when our heroes are striving to save Sholto, a scene when the connections between Sherlock and Sholto are more explicit than ever.

I believe the yellow flowers in the staircase to be yellow acacia (also known as mimosa). In the Victorian language of flowers, the yellow acacia is a symbol of “secret love”; the acacia in general being associated with concealed love.

Once again, we observe that Sholto is linked with the concept of love. It becomes a pattern that this love is concealed, secret, forsaken, estranged. I think it’s rather telling about John and Sholto’s relationship. These flowers hint at a secret love shared in the past, now estranged (as we know from their exchanges; John hasn’t seen where Sholto lives and so on).

Also interesting: in this scene, Sherlock and Sholto are linked more explicitly than ever. Thus to me, this idea of concealed, secret love, now forsaken, extends to John and Sherlock’s relationship. As a matter of fact, it is the heart of the episode that Sherlock has to let John go and witness as he marries another person. The concept of a secret love he has to give up makes sense.

On a more positive note, I’ve learned that acacia blossoms can mean “beauty in retirement”, which I find quite satisfying as regards to Sholto’s future (as well as Sherlock and John’s? Growing old in Sussex, producing acacia honey...).

(I am pretty sure the yellow flowers are acacia, but in a spirit of fairness: they might be goldenrods? Goldenrods mean “be cautious” -> which would also tie well with the spirit of the scene.. and, I would argue, the wedding. It also delivers a message of encouragement -> and we indeed see John and Sherlock encouraging Sholto to choose life)

B) The flower painting

Looming behind our trio, we see a painting with flowers. These flowers are, I believe, sunflowers. This is the second time sunflowers are seen in TSOT: Molly's dress has a pattern with this flower.

The sunflower is a symbol of admiration, appreciation and loyalty. Look at them radiating behind John as he’s about to save Sholto :)

Of course, sunflowers are a representation of the sun; as we know, John is strongly associated with the sun in the show.

Just like the lotus, the sunflower is linked to the notion of cycles. It reinforces the idea of the life/death/rebirth cycle which Sholto is going through in this scene.

I would also argue that, as Sholto chooses life, we can see the renewal of these two’s past affection and relationship. John’s words, "I believe I am your doctor", remind me of the first assertion of his position in Sherlock’s life from the pilot "I'm his doctor/Only a fool argues with his doctor". New beginnings. It is, I think, a strong assertion of affection for John and Sholto (and Sherlock recognises it). Sholto states he is “in need of medical attention”, of John’s attention, and John provides it, highlighting that he is his doctor. He ends up saving Sholto’s heart.

(Side note: it is extremely gratifying to see John fully embraced and celebrated as a doctor, both by Sholto and Sherlock in his speech; especially considering that he previously had to fight for recognition as a doctor in front of Major Reed. John’s identity as a doctor is paramount to him, and you can see how painful it is for him when this part of him is attacked). ((Now consider the “are you really a doctor????” scene from TLD))

Other side note: the sunflower was Oscar Wilde’s favourite flower. I don’t think it’s particularly relevant to the scene, but it’s always nice to point out.

Maybe more relevant to this scene => in Greek mythology, after losing her beloved Apollo (= the Sun God), who abandoned her for another woman, the water nymph Clytie mourned his departure, refusing food or water. After 9 days, she transformed into a sunflower, keeping her face longingly turned towards the sun to see her beloved’s course. Again, the myth is a painful reminder to Sherlock’s situation. The man has to see his beloved (the Sun, aka John) abandon him for another woman (Mary). When John finds Sherlock again, he is in a drug den, longingly hoping for John’s return.

Conclusion: Sholto and flowers

When one analyses the flowers associated with Sholto, a pattern seems to emerge:

Sholto as a character is connected to positive notions => bravery, strength, resilience, fondness, adoration...

A number of flowers are associated with the concept of love. This love is secret, concealed, forsaken, estranged. I find it extremely telling about John’s relationship with James Sholto. To me, it is a sign that the two were involved romantically, most probably in a secret affair. At the very least, they both had romantic feelings for each other and kept it silent. The flowery subtext makes it clear to me that James Sholto is a lost love from John’s past.

There are a few ties with the notion of cycle. It makes sense to Sholto’s journey as he faces death, then revival. Additionally, it is also linked with the idea of John and Sholto reaffirming their bond and connecting once more (“I am your doctor”), especially in a room full of forget-me-nots -> remembrance, reconnection to the past. To me, the notion of cycle also implies the cycle of John’s loves -> Sholto from the past, Mary in the present, but the cycle will continue.

Sholto and Sherlock are mirrors, which means that the flowery subtext which applies to Sholto also applies to Sherlock. Remembrance of a past flame, staying loyal through hardships, secret love, eventual reconnection...

There are hints that Moriarty looms over Sholto at the wedding.

Pink forget-me-nots link Sholto and Mary in the confrontation scene -> remembrance of past loves. Potentially hinting at a betrayal of John’s trust on James’ part? Or maybe his sense of emotional safety broken by James?

Feel free to share your thoughts/remarks on the subject with me! And never hesitate to correct me on the identification of flowers: it is not my speciality, so even if I do my research, I might get things wrong.

And as always: take care. Sending you warm, flowery thoughts!

tagging a few lovely people who might be interested in this piece => @sarahthecoat, @fivefeetfangirl, @tremendousdetectivetheorist, @isitandwonder

#bbc sherlock #sherlock meta #tjlc meta #sholto #james sholto #sherlock-sholto #john/sholto #john's past #john watson #sholto as a mirror #tjlc #johnlock #the sign of three #john and mary are doomed #mary is moran #Victorian Language of Flowers #john and flowers #sholto and flowers #tsot

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ternaryflower53 · 3 years

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you know what, i feel like doing fic recs, so i'm gonna fill out that fic rec bingo i reblogged a while back. under the cut bc this got. very long

a fic you love without knowing the source material - i mean. quite a lot of them, actually, i do a lot of fandom hopping. however the Henrietta: without magic, with medical careers series (The Raven Cycle) by @avalonjoan is excellent and only of the only trc fics i've ever read

a fic with a premise that shouldn't work but does - probably and the universe said you are not alone (Les Miserables) by alonsos, aka the les mis martian au. i don't know i just never would have thought of it but it's GOOD

a fic you've read several times - again...many. the first one that comes to mind is the Carry On For You series (Avatar: TLA) by @sword-and-stars but that may be because i just saw her posting about it. also

a fic you still remember years later - Paris Burning (Les Miserables) by @thecitysmith, aka one of the first fics i read on ao3. i need to actually get around to reading their novella at some point shhhh

a comfort fic - did you mean half my bookmarks? okay, we can go with our turn to carve windows (Star Wars) by @notquiteaghost. idk it's just soft. also has the tag "if youre trans and also a nerd then boy do i have a fic for you" and i mean i mean. you sure figured out your target audience

a cathartic fic - Always Gold (Star Wars) by @happygiraffe made me cry and it's just. excellent. one of the only major character death fics i've thought really nailed the ending

a fic you'd print and put on your bookshelf - hm. perhaps All Hail the Underdogs (Check Please) by @xiaq. in my head fics i'd print out also work as published books bc i am not really a physical book person, idk

a fic you associate with a song - i don't have tons of music associatons, unfortunately, but i DO associate @stillneedsmorekissing's Stellarverse series (Percy Jackson) with les mis solely because of interactions we've had lmao

a fic that inspires you - Asynchronous Circuit (Star Wars) by @jessepinwheel has EXCELLENT characterization and i want it. just makes me want to write things so i can be like that you know. anyway

a fic that brought you on board a new ship - tbh, i have ver little feelings about ships, i just read whatever is there, but hunting toward heartstill (Star Wars) by @blackkatmagic got me into mace/cody, i guess?

a fic that you wish could be a movie - none? i have never actually thought that before. but also i'm not a huge movie person, so. whatever

a fic that led to you making friends with the author - there's been a few, but gonna give a shoutout to @quillium's fic not afraid to fall (Into the Spiderverse) bc it's Excellent and quill is awesome

a fic you've gushed about irl - SO MANY, this is what happens when your irl friends are also into fandom. but i'm pretty sure i've rambled about @batsutousai multiple times, especially her Make A Brand New End series, so. that one.

a fic you associate with a place - tbh none?? not huge on location associations either

a fic that made you gasp out loud - there's probably been some but i cannot think of any??? i'm not super reactive when i'm reading lol

a fic you found at the right time - i remember reading All's Well (My Hero Academia) by goatman_entrapment and there was a note in one of the fics where they said something about how parents can love a child but still hurt them, and tbh i really needed that

a fic you would read fic of - *gestures* the answer to all of these is either "lots" or "none", i guess. anyway, lots, but i was reminded of the Hammer to Fall verse (Voltron) by @codefiant and i'd love to see more of it, just bc i think it's SUPER cool.

a fic that made you laugh out loud - my friend sent me Grow Up So Fast (Batman) by InsaneTrollLogic and i about died, it's excellent

a fic with a line (or two) you've memorized by heart - i don't think i have any of these :/

a fic that gave you butterflies - i don't think i have any of these either??? i don't read that much shippy fic, idk

a fic that embodies something you value in life - not sure i understand this one, tbh? but perhaps when we are loved we are afraid (we were never meant to survive) (Harry Potter) by @aletterinthenameofsanity.

a favorite au - i love reincarnation AUs a normal amount, i swear. anyway The Rest of Their Lives (Attack on Titan) by folaigh has some really cool explorations of identity and i just like it a lot

a fic you stayed up too late to finish - hm, one of the more recent ones was Bruised Words (Harry Potter) by @starknjarvis27, very good had lots of excellent emotions

a fic that made you feel seen - i have a very strong memory of reading @cuubism's fic Let In The Rain (Shadowhunters) and feeling seen. it doesn't actually depict my personal experience at all but it's just??? good?? excellent ace fic 10/10

#tern talks #fic recs #some of these were like 'wow i have no ideas' and some could take multiple recs #anyway yeah here's some very scattered fic recs

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notveryglittery · 4 years

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absolutely smitten

summary: sometimes your coworkers are ridiculously in love but too dumb to make a move so obviously you've got to give them a push in the right direction. wc: 4,700 / ship: roman/patton (royality) content: human au, actor au. patton-centric. some crying, some kissing. mutual, oblivious pining. confessions of ~love~! background talyn, joan, remy, and thomas. background brotherly moxiety, romantic analogical, and frenemies(?) moceit. janus is kind of an asshole (but that’s patton’s opinion dot vine). author’s note: so, sometime in october 2019, i saw this post by @sirasanders for the first time ever which was, frankly, a Crime. because it had been posted in february 2019 and the fact that i had gone that long without seeing/being tagged in a royality post? Illegal. anyway, i was struck with inspiration and began writing and sure it might have taken nine months but... here it is! i'm really proud of it! i hope you enjoy!

many thanks to @rosesisupposes for beta reading!! <3 read on ao3!

— — —

Patton was not a morning person. Sure, he liked the idea of sunrises and consistent schedules and having time to make himself a big breakfast. All of that, however, required waking up. So to put it more accurately, Patton was not a waking up person.

Usually, all it took was a cup of coffee.

Thankfully, that part was never something Patton really had to worry about. The sweet, sweet bean elixir was delivered to him personally each morning sometime after arriving on set. Something he did worry about, though? Constantly? Nearly every hour of every day? Just what exactly he and the bringer-of-drinks were.

Like… yeah! He and Roman were… friends? They were coworkers for sure, without a doubt, and Patton liked that a lot! Working with Roman never failed to brighten even his darkest days. Patton could arrive on set in the lowest of moods and sometimes all it took was one warm smile from Roman to melt the icy feeling in his veins. Sometimes, it was the way Roman would slide up next to him at the catering table, moaning about how hungry he was, asking for Patton’s opinion on what he should treat himself to. Sometimes, Roman would take Patton’s hand and lead him to The Sanders Couch and Roman would sit and then he’d pull Patton down onto his lap and they’d just stay there for a bit, Roman combing his hand through Patton’s hair and singing quietly… If Patton was being honest, that was the easiest and quickest way Roman helped him to feel better.

Just friends, though! Right?

Roman remembering Patton’s usual go-to orders from Starbucks didn’t mean anything. He was just being courteous. Maybe it wasn’t even that; maybe it was just Roman wanting to make sure Patton would be at his peak during their scenes. Actors had such bad reputations after all and the last thing Patton wanted was to be a nightmare to deal with on set. He was grateful, really, of all Roman did to help him!

He just wished he wasn’t so confused.

“Patton! Good morning!”

Okay, time to put all those confusing feelings away.

Talyn’s bright grin and brighter hair never failed to impress Patton. Maybe one day he’d learn their secret to feeling this energetic so early in the morning but until then, he’d just have to keep wishing for the day coffee chains lowered their prices.

“Morning, Tal,” Patton responded, unable to help himself as he reached out and ruffled Talyn’s colorful locks.

They grumbled and swatted his hand away. “I’d be offended that you don’t seem to realize how much time this takes but I don’t think you even know what a hairbrush is.”

Patton pouted and reached up to tug on one of his curls. “I’m hurt.”

Talyn huffed, a sort-of laugh that reminded him of Virgil, and rolled their eyes. “I’ll be extra gentle with your makeup to make up for it, then.”

Before Patton could express appreciation for the play on words, Talyn was swept up and away in a blur of blue plaid and orange. He was pretty sure it’d been Joan, given how they were scarcely seen without their tell-tale flashy beanie.

While interacting with Talyn had helped Patton wake up a little bit, he was already feeling the heaviness of being up early weighing him down again. The reminder of the scene they were supposed to be filming today probably wasn’t doing him any good, either. Not only was it going to be a lot of crying, which was already exhausting on its own, he and Roman were supposed to kiss. Patton was supposed to kiss the possibly-maybe-wouldn’t-it-be-nice love of his life.

His cheeks went hot at the very idea and Patton all but slammed his face into his hands and screamed into his palms.

“Easy, buttercup, wouldn’t want you bruising, hm?”

Patton lowered his hands and glared at Janus over his fingertips.

“Oops,” Janus smirked and stepped back. “Didn’t realize you haven’t had your coffee yet.”

Patton frowned and folded his arms over his chest. “Is it that obvious?”

Somehow, in the time it took him to blink, Janus had moved, loping around Patton with a contemplative hum. One of these days, he’d learn how Janus managed to get around so fast.

“Look,” he said, draping an arm over Patton’s shoulders and pointing, “right there.”

One of these days, Patton would stop falling for Janus’s pranks.

Today was not that day and so when Patton directed his gaze towards where Janus was gesturing, he was provided the very startling sight of Roman coming in from outside. He was practically glowing in the sunlight, his hair was tousled from the wind as if he’d rolled out of bed but left it intentionally disheveled, and they’d just made eye contact and so Patton saw clear as crystal the way Roman’s smile curled up so easily and prettily.

Oh no, he was so pretty.

Patton ducked out of Janus’s hold and bolted away, towards his dressing room.

That… could have gone worse? Yeah, he could’ve tripped while running away and face planted and made work super difficult for Talyn and ruined the whole shoot today and everyone would be mad at him for wasting their time—

“Patton?”

By absolute sheer willpower, Patton didn’t scream.

“I’ve got your caramel macchiato.”

Patton was going to melt.

“Extra extra espresso.”

Scratch that, Patton was already melting.

“Thomas said it looked like you’d need it.”

Wait, what?

Patton opened the door to handsome Roman, considerate Roman, lovely Roman, and spoke before his brain could get any more mushy at the sight of handsome considerate lovely Roman. “Thomas hasn’t even seen me today?”

Roman held the reusable tumbler out for Patton to take. “Extra caramel, too.”

Patton took the offered drink and if it weren’t for the fact that this happened nearly every morning, he’d surely have dropped it the moment his and Roman’s fingertips brushed. Thankfully, he’d gotten used to it by now. Mostly, his heart reminded him when butterflies took flight in his stomach. Right, yeah, mostly. Anyway.

“I’ll see you in a bit, then,” Roman said and Patton was probably imagining the soft earnesty in his tone. He tried to dial down his high hopes.

“In a bit, then…” Patton managed, smiling sweetly, before stepping back and closing the door.

By some miracle, he didn’t sink immediately to the ground despite definitely feeling like a melted marshmallow. Instead, he drained half of his drink and then finally let himself scream.

In a bit turned out to be a couple of hours. It wasn’t anything Patton wasn’t familiar with but that didn’t make it any less agonizing. An indie film meant a smaller crew which meant Talyn could do the makeup on only one actor at a time. Fortunately, the scenes today weren’t very extensive which meant less folks to work on. Unfortunately, the scenes weren’t extensive because they were all plenty aware of how emotionally draining they’d be and had essentially planned for it. Crying came pretty easily to Patton so he wasn’t worried about that part. It was the after: the headache, the puffy red skin, the sore throat.

Talyn muttered as they worked, wondering why they were even bothering with makeup when it was all going to be ruined by the end of filming, anyway. In the reflection of the mirror Patton was sitting in front of, he could just barely see Roman getting his hair fixed. He was gesturing, no doubt telling a story of some sort; Remy had to keep pushing his hands back down anytime they got in the way. Patton was sure the hairdresser was scowling as he worked. If anyone was less a morning person than Patton, it was Remy.

“I love that smile as much as the next, Pat,” Talyn said, sighing, “but I don’t need it just yet. I can’t work when your eyes are all cute and crinkly.”

He murmured a quick apology and schooled his expression into one carefully blank. Talyn got back to applying his eye makeup. It didn’t take much longer before they were finished and Patton was sent on his way to get his hair done next. He and Roman passed by each other and Patton did his best to not swoon quite so obviously when Roman grinned at him. This part went by considerably quicker given that Patton could no longer see Roman in any reflections and that Remy had no patience for anything taking longer than absolutely necessary. He was finished before Talyn was with Roman which meant Patton could head off to see their director for any final adjustments or tips.

Thomas looked like he’d been through the wringer and the day had barely begun. Patton was frowning as he approached, wondering if anyone had told Thomas that his shirt was inside out.

“Morning, kiddo,” Patton greeted, coming to a stop beside him.

Thomas startled, nearly dropping the script he was holding. “Patton!”

“Oops,” Patton said sheepishly, “didn’t mean to spook you.”

Thomas waved the papers dismissively. “Nah, I oughta be better aware of my surroundings. Especially with someone like Janus around.”

Patton scowled. “Yeah, he got me this morning.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Thomas responded and Patton did not like how cheeky he looked all of a sudden. “That one seemed more like a treat than it did a trick.”

Patton really wished he didn’t blush so easily! He couldn’t even try and cover his face because then he’d risk messing up Talyn’s hard work. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Uh huh.”

“Anyway,” Patton interrupted loudly before Thomas could keep teasing him. “Has anything changed with filming today that I should worry about?”

Thomas shook his head. “Nah, we’re still all on the same page.” He hesitated. “Sorry that today’s gonna be so taxing on you guys.”

“I’m just hoping we can get it done in one take.”

“If you don’t, Talyn will have to fix you up again,” a new voice said, effortlessly joining their discussion.

“Speak of the Devil,” Thomas muttered.

“And he shall appear!” Patton finished for him before turning to Janus with a glare. “You know it’s rude to eavesdrop?”

Janus shrugged carelessly. “Joan’s looking for you,” he told Thomas, as if backstage and onstage weren’t small enough for Joan to find Thomas relatively easy on their own.

Still, Thomas shot Patton an apologetic look and went off to find his best friend.

In a near perfect match of their earlier interaction, Patton faced Janus with crossed arms and a frown. “Could you stop messing with me? I really don’t need it on top of everything else going on today.”

“I haven’t a clue what you’re referring to, dear Patton,” Janus said sweetly, all faux innocence.

Patton tried to not let it get to him. The two rarely got along, even on their good days, and Janus knew this, which meant he especially delighted in bothering Patton on his bad days. There really wasn’t any reason for them to be like this except that Janus had been why Patton nearly missed his audition for this film and he’d never apologized and Patton was still holding a grudge.

“Darling, is he bothering you?”

Before Patton could react to the question, an arm slid around his shoulders. The body he was pulled against was warm and firm and smelled of cinnamon and oh no.

Janus was smirking wickedly.

“Roman,” he all but purred. “I would never bother the object of your affections. I wouldn’t even dream of it.”

Patton.exe has stopped functioning.

The conversation continued, if Janus’s moving lips were anything to go by, but none of it processed for Patton. Roman’s what? Surely they weren’t talking about him? No, it was just Janus playing another one of his mean pranks. It had to be! Roman couldn’t like Patton back because if he did… well, if he did, that meant the kiss they were supposed to share on screen today wouldn’t be quite so one-sided and… and that would mean Patton’s feelings weren’t entirely unfounded… Roman did always bring him coffee. He was there for Patton’s low moods. His smile was sometimes so sincere and soft that Patton thought he might melt anytime he was on the receiving end of it.

Patton blinked and tilted his head up just a bit so he could get a better look at his knight in shining armor. Thinking back on it, Roman was often there to help save Patton from Janus’s crueler comments or jokes. He encouraged Patton through each scene, eyes bright and eager when the camera wasn’t pointed at him. He looked a little tense and Patton wondered if he was angry with what Janus had implied or… or if he was embarrassed to be called out on his feelings.

His gaze returned to Janus and he blinked again. Sound started to filter back in. Janus sneered at him.

“Back with us, then?”

“Alright, folks!” Thomas' voice rang out then, commanding attention. “Let’s get started! If we finish early today, I’m treating y’all to ice cream!”

A chorus of cheers followed as everyone moved to get where they needed to be.

Patton slipped out from Roman’s grasp and gave him a grin that he hoped wasn’t as shaky as it felt. In theory, Roman liking him back should have been a good thing. So why was Patton feeling so icky all of a sudden? Was it because, if it were true, Roman hadn’t been the one to confess? It was hardly fair of Janus to go around sharing other people’s secrets.

“Places!”

Patton snapped out of his daze to find Roman standing in front of him. He looked concerned.

“Hey, deep breaths, okay?” He took an exaggerated one to make a point and Patton found himself mirroring it. The slow exhale lightened the weight on his shoulders.

Patton nodded and Roman smiled at him. It was that sincere, soft smile that made Patton melt and, gosh darn it, hadn’t he already done enough of that this morning?

They hurried to their spots. The script was playing through Patton’s head, his lines and then Roman’s following lines, and Patton’s reactions to each line. He focused on the scene and the reason his character was upset and how it’d feel if he were experiencing it personally. One take. They’d get this finished in one take and then Patton could have ice cream and go back to his hotel room and take a nice long nap.

It was easy to forget everything that had happened earlier once he was onstage. Patton had no trouble getting into his roles most of the time; it certainly helped having someone like Roman opposite him. Roman was the best actor he’d ever had the pleasure of working with: self-assured and reliable and knowledgeable. The confidence he exuded was often contagious. The lights came on and out of the corner of his eye, Patton saw the red light flashing on the cameras. Roman winked at him and Patton only resisted giggling like a lovestruck teenager because Thomas had just called “action!”

It went as effortlessly as it usually did. Roman recited his lines with nary a mistake. Patton worked off of him easily, responses slipping from his tongue before the worries or fears of messing up could even try to take hold. The cast and the set around them faded away until it was just Patton and Roman - Patton’s character and Roman’s character - and this moment and this scene and these feelings. He could feel the tears spilling over, his heart felt as if it were being squeezed in his chest, his throat closing up with choked back sobs. Roman’s expression only aided in Patton’s despair; he never wanted to see Roman this miserable ever again.

It felt like a dream, the way Roman’s hand came up and cradled his cheek so gently and carefully. He wiped away a few of Patton’s tears with his thumb. He wasn’t sure which of them leaned in first, just that his eyes slid closed before Roman’s lips met his. Strangely, Patton’s first thought wasn’t incoherent screaming. It was that Roman tasted of peppermint. Then it was who knew kissing distracted so well from crying? Finally, eventually, it was incoherent screaming.

“And cut!”

They didn’t leap away from each other as if electrocuted, though Patton’s surprise at the reminder that they weren’t alone did shock him. Instead, they separated slowly, Roman’s hand drifting from Patton’s face to his shoulder.

“You’re… you’re a really good kisser, Roman.”

It wasn’t until Roman’s face went bright, bright red that Patton realized what he’d said.

“That was great, guys!” Thomas exclaimed, slinging his arms around them both and shattering the fragile space between them. “We’ll look over it real quick for any glaring mistakes but I think it went perfectly! We can fix the little things in post. I think you both deserve a break.”

“Thanks,” Patton squeaked, shooting up from where he sat. “Bye!”

For the second time that day, Patton bolted away and to his dressing room.

The door had barely slammed shut behind him before Patton was diving for the countertop he’d left his phone on. He was calling his second emergency contact and throwing himself into the pile of beanbags, cushions, and pillows in one corner of the room, all in one breath.

“Hey, Pat,” answered the low, rumbling voice of his brother.

Even if Patton had wanted to coherently explain what was going on, he couldn’t have. The words came tumbling out of his mouth without any sense and he kept cycling back to “kiss” and “Roman.” It didn’t help that he was half-sobbing, half-laughing, and all-panicking. At some point, he thought Virgil might have covered up his end of the receiver and spoke to someone else, but Patton was too flustered to be sure.

“Okay, bud, let’s take a minute to breathe.”

And so Virgil counted his younger sibling through several deep breaths, inhaling four and holding four and exhaling four. Once Patton had calmed down, Virgil asked him to repeat what he’d tried to say earlier.

“Oh. Ohh, right, that scene was today.”

“Virgil,” Patton said very seriously, pacing the room back and forth. “I… I think he likes me back.”

“Nooo,” Virgil responded and Patton frowned at his tone. “Really?”

“Why’d you say it like that!”

“Dude… Roman’s crush on you is as obvious as your crush on him.”

“His what?!”

“I’m sorry to say that you got all the gay disaster genes.”

“Tell that to your unsigned Valentine’s Day confession card to Logan.”

“Hey! We agreed to never mention that again!”

There was muffled speaking on Virgil’s end of the call and Virgil snorted. “Oh, that’ll be fun,” Patton heard him say in response. Before he could ask what would be fun, there was a knock at his door.

“Patton?”

By absolute sheer willpower, Patton didn’t scream.

“Answer it before I die of tension,” Virgil deadpanned.

Would it really be so bad if he did? After everything that had happened today, it really did seem like Roman might truly like him back… Sure, Patton wanted to bury himself into a hole and never leave out of embarrassment because of what he’d said after the kiss, but… It wasn’t like they were finished filming. Patton was going to see Roman again, whether he liked it or not.

“I’m hanging up now, okay?”

“Okay,” Patton whimpered. He was frozen a few moments longer, the phone still pressed to his ear.

“I can come back later,” Roman said, voice muffled. “Or not at all, if you’d prefer that. I don’t want to make you uncomf—”

Moving faster than he thought he was physically capable, Patton dropped his cell, and lurched across the room. He yanked the door open to handsome Roman, nervous Roman, sheepish Roman, and acted before his brain could get any more conflicted at the sight of handsome nervous sheepish Roman. “Please don’t leave.”

Roman went from worrying nervously at his lower lip to a small hopeful smile. He looked… strangely vulnerable. Patton wanted to protect him from everything bad, just as Roman had supported and kept him safe in the past.

“Hi.”

“Uhm… hi,” Patton replied. After a moment’s hesitation, he stepped back and gestured for Roman to enter.

For the time they’d been working together, neither had been inside the other’s dressing room. Actually, Patton hadn’t gone by Roman’s at all; maybe his was the one with the star-sticker-decorated door. Roman caught sight of Patton’s Comfort Corner and sent him a curious glance.

“It’s better than a chair?” Patton answered with a half-shrug.

“It’s like The Sanders Couch,” Roman said agreeably.

“Did Thomas ever tell you the story behind it?”

“Which one?” Roman asked, laughing. “There’s so many. He has it sent with him to every filming location, you know. Apparently, it’s magic.”

Patton’s apprehension was falling away slowly but surely and he thought it amazing how even being near Roman had that effect on him.

“May I?”

Patton blinked, confused. Roman gestured to the corner.

“Oh! Yeah! Yes, of course.” Patton hurriedly responded, stumbling a little over his words.

“May…” Roman rubbed the back of his neck and Patton didn’t understand what he could possibly have to be bashful about before remembering oh, right, he likes me back. “May we?”

It felt like Patton’s whole body was submerged in scalding hot water. “O— okay,” he squeaked. Before he could melt on the spot like his jelly-wobbly legs wanted him to, Patton joined Roman in settling cozily amongst the beanbags, cushions, and pillows.

It was like second nature to them. Without even meaning to, Patton gravitated towards Roman, curling against his side as if it was right where he belonged. Roman’s hand was carding through Patton’s hair before they’d even fully got their legs positioned just right. In the time that Patton had made this dressing room his own, he’d added frequently to this pile, and he knew for a fact that there was room enough for two people to lounge on it without having to sit too close. As if he weren’t already in a tizzy, realizing how easy it was for him and Roman to be like this… Well, it was a miracle he hadn’t fainted already.

“So…” Roman began at the same moment Patton exclaimed, “I’m sorry!”

Naturally, Roman looked bewildered.

“I should have told you sooner,” Patton barreled on. He pointedly avoided looking up, instead keeping his gaze trained on his hands folded in his lap. “I was just… scared, I guess? Mostly of rejection… uhm, duh… But also of ruining this movie for you? I didn’t want to make filming difficult for… well, for anyone! And I didn’t want to risk doing that just because of my silly feelings.”

“Silly?” Roman echoed.

“And I know it’s not something I need to apologize for,” Patton continued in a rush, “but I’m still so sorry that Janus said what he said. A… about me being the, uh… your… Well, you know. He didn’t have any right doing that.”

Roman laughed, sounding a little incredulous. Patton wasn’t sure what part Roman had trouble believing. It was true, after all! The very idea of someone spilling Patton’s crush without his say-so was absolutely horrifying.

“If I’m being completely honest?” Roman began, shifting just enough that he could cradle Patton’s cheek in his hand and tilt his face up. “I don’t think I’d have had the courage to do it myself, anyway.”

He… He was being genuine, Patton realized with a start.

“You’re the most courageous person I know!” Patton argued.

“I am also terrified of rejection,” Roman amended.

“Now hold on, if I’m scared of rejection and you’re scared of rejection, then who’s flying the plane?”

Roman laughed so hard, Patton was jostled by it in his embrace. It was a sensation he wouldn’t mind getting used to.

“Regrettably, I think that Janus is our pilot.”

Patton pouted. “Don’t like that.”

“We might owe him a thank you.”

“Don’t like that!” Patton repeated.

“Well, how about something that you do like?” Roman suggested, still holding him so carefully, still looking at him with such a sincere and soft smile. Still, there was just a hint of trepidation in his tone, the tiniest bit of unease in his eyes.

Patton realized awfully late that neither of them had actually, completely declared their feelings yet. He sat up in a hurry, placing a hand on Roman’s chest, and taking a deep breath. He thought it might give him at least a moment to sort his thoughts so that he could give Roman the confession he deserved. He thought wrong.

“You!” he practically shouted. “I like you! So much! It’s ridiculous! It’s exhilarating and scary and wonderful and well, I mean—” He stuttered to a halt, dissolving momentarily into breathless giggles. “You’re so considerate, do you know that? You care so much and you have so many little ways of showing it! And oh my god, you’re the best coworker I’ve ever had. You’re so full of passion and dedication, it’s an absolute joy to act alongside you and, and—” Again, Patton paused, but this time it was thanks to Roman’s slack-jawed awe. Raising both arms, Patton took Roman’s face in his hands and squished his cheeks a little. “And don’t even get me started on how handsome you are.”

In the time he’d known Roman, Patton had never seen him speechless. Patton was worried that he’d broken him. The seconds ticked by until, eventually, Roman made a sound akin to a tea kettle whistling. He slowly leaned in and down until Patton had to let go, instead opting to wrap his arms around Roman’s neck. With his face hidden now in Patton’s shoulder, it became clear how hard Roman was shaking.

“Was that too much?” Patton asked quietly.

Roman mumbled something but Patton couldn’t have understood it if he tried. Maybe he just needed a few minutes to collect himself. After some time, Roman did emerge, looking a bit more calm. Patton hardly had time to worry what this meant for him before Roman pulled Patton’s hands loose from where they’d been curled in the hair at the nape of his neck and held them gently in his own.

“I like you,” he started, oh-so-seriously. “I think I like you more than I like theatre?”

Patton gasped.

“Hush,” Roman teased, stifling a laugh. “I wake up some mornings and make it out of bed just because I know I’ll see you. It’s so easy to exist around you. I’ve never felt judged or hurt by you; you’re exceedingly kind and thoughtful. I cherish all of our moments, whether candid or staged. You’ve brought stability to my life in a way I never expected and I can’t tell you how important that is to me. Your grumpy pre-caffeine face cheers me up more than the sun in the sky does!”

“You hush,” Patton muttered, only able to fake offense for a few seconds.

“When Thomas takes us all out for ice cream, could we share a sundae?” Roman requested and he almost sounded shy about it. It made Patton’s heart flutter.

“There’s no one else I would want to banana split with,” Patton quipped.

Roman dropped Patton’s hands and groaned, planting his face into his palms. The last of the tension in the air vanished and Patton finally felt like he could breathe a little easier. He leaned back a little, trying to keep it together.

“Aw, come on, that was really just the cherry on top!”

Roman’s response might have been muffled but that didn’t hide the sound of his grin.

Patton shimmied and wiggled his way out of the Comfort Corner until he was back on his feet. “I hope you aren’t considering Taking Back Sun-dae,” Patton said, putting on his best pout.

“Oh my god,” Roman managed before he broke and fell into a fit of laughter.

Patton gave in too, though he was slightly distracted by the sight of Roman so carefree and happy. That was another thing he’d have to get used to, he supposed… Not that he minded. In fact, Patton decided as Roman eventually got up and pulled him into a tight, warm hug, he was really looking forward to it.

#sanders sides fan fiction #royality #romantic royality #royality fan fiction #ts deceit #patton sanders #roman sanders #human au #dani writes

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