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velinediary · 18 days

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MY STORY WITH BINGE EATING DISORDER

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Warning:

If you are facing this and believe that this disorder is becoming something more serious, please seek help. Even if you feel that you engage in this behavior very "rarely," I sincerely urge you to reach out to a professional who can assist you in overcoming it, as we cannot wait for it to worsen.

Also, I want to mention that I am not a professional in psychology, so if I give these pieces of advice, it is for you to take them with caution. If you believe they can help you, take them, otherwise, you can leave them.

Introduction:

Hello, little flowers! 💗

This is a topic that I am still struggling with today, but I wanted to share my experience and how I have somewhat reduced this eating behavior since 2020. It is not something I achieved overnight, and for those who have gone through or are still going through this, it is not easy to "stop" when you want to devour everything in your refrigerator.

Story:

My story begins from a very young age when my family would mock or make comments about my slim body. Because of this, I tried to eat more to have a fuller figure, and just when I started feeling good about my slightly curvier body, a family member made a comment that I needed to lose weight, and that's where it all began.

It was around 2018, I was about 13 years old, and I started exercising intensely, almost every day. As carbohydrates were demonized at that time, I ate very little. Consequently, I ate very little in the mornings, almost the same in the afternoons, and in the evenings, I only had a cup of tea. I still don't know how I managed to eat so little and not starve myself. I had only one day to eat something I wanted, like a cookie, a slice of pizza, a chocolate bar, etc. That was it, and it was the same every week. Yes, of course, I lost weight... but not in a healthy way. I can't say for sure if I had anorexia because I was never diagnosed, but I stopped that behavior in 2019 because I had met someone romantically who told me to eat more because I looked too thin. And I listened to him.

Here, I started eating a lot and going to the gym to have a more voluminous figure. I made certain changes, and although that happened, he didn't stay with me.

Then came the pandemic, which not only brought tremendous transformations in various aspects of my life but also for many others.

In 2020, I committed myself to shaping my body to be more "curvaceous" and "toned," or at least that's what I thought at 15 years old... I noticed a big difference, but for a girl who was in the midst of her development during adolescence, all I should have been doing was enjoying myself, not desperately striving for a body of a 25-year-old woman! I had become obsessed, and since I would restrict myself from various "bad foods" during the week, I would eat like a hungry wolf on the weekends and spend the time crying over it. I felt terrible after each binge, with tearful eyes, asking myself, "When will all of this end? When will be the day I stop doing this?"

Due to these episodes, I sought professional help, but it didn't yield results. I went to a nutritionist who created a meal plan for me, but it only worsened my disorder as it restricted certain foods. Of course, my mistake was also not directly telling them about the problem I was going through, and they focused on creating meal plans for athletes. It was like a bomb because it triggered more binges.

I decided to end everything related to exercise and the meal plan in November of that same year to stop having food binges. That's how, by 2021, I "gained weight" in a way, especially since I wasn't exercising as much. Nevertheless, I continued to have binges, and even though I tried to control them, I couldn't, even with the help of a psychologist. Don't get me wrong, she helped me a lot, but sometimes the recovery process requires years of therapy.

The following year... everything got worse. Not only was I dealing with this disorder, but I also experienced depressive episodes that lasted for months, and during those months, I would eat so much, you can't even imagine... My worst fear was coming true; I had gained a significant amount of weight. I can tell you that I had never seen myself like that before; I felt completely defeated, but I couldn't escape from it. My self-esteem plummeted to the point where I didn't want to be seen; I covered myself completely, even my face. It was difficult for me to go to university in such a terrible state; I felt ruined, among other things.

The binge days were no longer just on weekends; it was almost every day. That year, I remember it as a time of pure self-hatred, not only because of my terrible eating habits but also because of what I was going through. All I did was swallow and swallow; I didn't exercise, I didn't take care of myself, etc. It was a journey of terror... But during that time, I met someone who made me blossom. I truly thank that person for appearing in my life; I don't think I could have gotten out of that on my own.

By the end of 2022, I made some progress until early 2023 when I fell back into old habits... Eating poorly, binging, etc. This continued until the end of July when I put a stop to it and promised myself that I wouldn't let myself be trapped in that vicious cycle, that I would take responsibility for myself and take care of myself. In the following months leading up to 2024, I took better care of myself, trying to eat as well as possible without restricting myself, and occasionally exercising. I felt good and more beautiful; now, I was more focused on myself and felt better.

Then, in 2024, I firmly started my journey: exercising, having a diet that suited my needs, and being disciplined about it. Now, if there were days when I ate too much, I didn't deprive myself of food in the following days like I used to; I just stayed focused on my goals and what I wanted. I swear, I had never felt so beautiful, so lovely, so perfect in my own way.

Currently, I feel incredible and have higher self-esteem, especially since I started practicing affirmations, which have boosted my confidence and security. I affirm that this benefits people, as it is supported by psychology that it does work.

In conclusion, I want to mention that my binges haven't completely disappeared, but when they happen, I no longer feel that sense of guilt. I know that it could take years to "get rid of it completely," so I will continue to fight until I achieve it, even if it takes a long time. Now, I'm not as afraid of gaining weight; I always remind myself that my body is constantly changing, and I won't always look the same. I have a whole lifetime to achieve my desired body, so I don't torture myself to achieve it right now. I am enjoying my progress and living life because life is not solely about our bodies, but about who we are, the experiences we have, the moments we cherish, and much more.

Lessons learned:

♡ I've learned that when I have these binges, I try to forget about them as if they didn't happen, to avoid judging or cursing myself for what I did. I take it easy and continue with my routine the next morning.

♡ I suggest that you also reflect on why or what circumstances triggered the binge, so you can identify any patterns you may be following and avoid returning to the same behavior in the future.

♡ I always recommend seeking help from a psychologist or someone professionally trained in psychology to support you throughout your journey. If it is within your means, of course. Otherwise, seek reliable information on how to deal with it and seek support from people who have gone through similar experiences.

Personal note:

My dear ones, please take care of yourselves and don't try to achieve your desired body in a way that could harm your life. I know it's not easy to break free from this, but lean on someone close or someone you trust to provide support.

Remember that your body is a temple, and it should be cared for with flowers. Your body will always fluctuate, but that doesn't mean you look bad, my dear. Your body will look incredible in many ways, and if, in any case, you wish to change it, do so without restricting any food or skipping meals, as those are some of the main causes that lead to these food binges. In any case, I suggest seeking guidance from a nutritionist specialized in eating disorders who can guide you.

Sending you a kiss. You are not alone, my beautiful one. Together, we will overcome this! I care about you. 🫂❤️

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velinediary · 19 days

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And you my lovely little flowers, what do you carry in your bag? I'll read your comments! 🩷🦉

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velinediary · 21 days

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velinediary · 22 days

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Comparison is ruining you

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One of the lessons I have had to learn to become who I am now is to stop comparing myself to others. It's not a lie that if you ask Veline from 2022 how many times she compared herself to different people, the list would be endless. But now, I see it more clearly and I know that I have greatly reduced this behavior that was harming me for many years. I want to mention that this doesn't mean that I don't sometimes have moments where I feel bad about myself, but the feeling doesn't linger for long, as I choose to let go of that feeling and come back to myself.

Although it may sound contradictory, comparison is good only if we know how to use it. It can help us identify areas for improvement or find inspiration, but it is also fundamental to remember that each person is unique, and the true measure of success lies in personal progress and personal satisfaction.

Here are certain aspects that we often compare ourselves with, so you can identify which ones you are comparing yourself to. (Remember, if you have all of them, there's no need to feel bad. Instead, it's a sign for you to start your own path.):

Physical Aspects: It can include height, weight, physical build, facial appearance, etc.

Emotional Aspects: The ability to handle and express emotions, empathy, emotional intelligence, etc.

Intellectual Aspects: Comparing cognitive abilities such as intelligence, creativity, problem-solving skills, etc.

Social Aspects: The ability to relate to others, communication skills, teamwork ability, etc.

Professional Aspects: Work achievements, skills, educational level, etc.

Personal Aspects: Values, beliefs, hobbies, lifestyle, etc.

Now that we know these aspects, let's move on to some tips that helped me reduce my level of comparison.

○ Focus on Yourself ♡

I know this advice has been given many times, but it is extremely true. By focusing on our own progress and not that of others, we start feeling better. By this, I mean letting go of thoughts like, "Look at her, she's been going to the gym for a month and already has visible changes, while I've been going for a year and still don't see anything," or "She just joined university and knows everything, while I can't even answer the professor's questions," among others. My loves, it's not like that. Each person has their own time to achieve the results they desire. The more you focus on your own path and what you want to achieve, the less space there is to think about others.

○ Cultivate Self-Acceptance ♡

We all have strengths and weaknesses, and that's why we should embrace them. We need to learn that we can't be good at everything to avoid frustration, but of course, there's always room for improvement. What I mean is that we should acknowledge both our strengths and weaknesses. First, to improve in areas where we struggle, and second, to enhance and make the most of our strengths.

○ Be Your Own Comfort ♡

Being our own comfort in moments when we feel like we have failed can be very helpful. Don't hurt yourself or beat yourself up over something you did wrong. Even I have to remind myself of this. Don't be cruel to yourself! Don't become your own worst enemy when you have those feelings. Instead, embrace and accept that fact, knowing that you will do better next time or that it won't even matter in the future.

○ Social Media is Just "Social Media, Not Real Life" ♡

I will try to keep this brief, as it is a vast topic with many subtopics. Social media is designed for sharing, creating communities, and making friends. However, over time, it has become a constant need for validation to boost our egos. Now, don't get me wrong, we all want to feel accepted or validated, but what I have realized is that the more you seek it, the more you want it. If you don't know how to handle it, you may end up feeling bad for not receiving the attention you thought you would get.

Of course, as it has been said many times, not everything we see on social media is true or dreamlike. Some photos may have been edited beforehand, or the person posting may not have felt genuinely good at that moment.

After all, these platforms only go so far. How many times have we remembered a specific post after closing an app? None, because real life exists. Not everyone around us has that "amazing" physical appearance or the "ideal" job as portrayed on social media. Not everyone follows trends or has "perfect skin". That's why we need to look beyond what is behind the screens and live our lives.

Conclusion

My dear girls, comparison will only serve you if you know where and when to apply it, without crossing the line, of course. Each one of us is on our own path towards becoming a better version of ourselves, no matter how long it takes, because that's what it's about - persisting and not focusing on what others did or didn't do. In the end, you are the one who will be telling your own story soon. I don't want to hear similar stories from everyone else because I want to know what you had to go through to get where you are.

Personal Note:

Creating this blog doesn't mean that I have everything figured out or the perfect life that every girl would want, but I'm still in the race, trying to reach the goal without looking at whether others have already achieved it or if they have surpassed me. I go at my own pace, and that's what matters. In fact, creating this blog is part of who I want to become.

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Thank you to the women who have made it this far, and I hope you enjoyed this post and found it helpful. Love yourselves, embrace yourselves, and have patience with yourselves because you will need it on the journey.

With love, Veline. Kisses!

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velinediary · 22 days

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Blog ♡

¡Hi, love!

Allow me to introduce myself, I am Veline Dumont. Nice to meet you all! For some time now, I have been thinking about starting a blog to create a community of women and be of help to all of you, which is why I am here. I must admit, I am very excited.

In this space, I will be sharing some of my experiences and providing advice or reflections through them. I will touch on topics such as love, self-esteem, lifestyle, among others. Additionally, I will give my opinions on specific topics that you may want me to discuss, if it is within my reach.

On the other hand, there will be a section where I will give you recommendations for music, movies; I will share recipes or try out some products.

Here is a list of the topics that the blog will cover: 💗

→ Love

→ Lifestyle

→ Food recipes

→ Self-esteem / self-love

→ Advice / reflections

→ Recommendations

→ Opinions

→ Analysis

→ Art

→ Music

→ Movies

→ Fashion

→ Entertainment

→ Manifestation

→ Witchcraft

About me ☾

Name: Veline

Age: 19 years old

Country: Peru

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

Dessert: Cookies

Drink: Coffee

Season: Autumn and Winter

Favorite TV Shows: Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl, Friends

Movie Genre: Romance, Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, Mystery, Horror, Psychological

Music Genre: Rock, Pop, Jazz, Blues, Soul, Reggae, etc.

Hobbies: Writing, drawing, painting, reading, listening to music.

......................................................................･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. .....................................................................

Note:

Feel truly at home, lovely. This is a space where I believe you can feel comfortable and secure. I hope to be of great help to you in your personal development and, of course, to entertain and share together. See you soon, beautiful. Kisses!

#dream reality #dream life #fashion icon #that girl energy #girlblogging #subliminals #self improvement #self care #self help #afirmaciones #afirmations #it girl #girly #girlblogger #girly aesthetic #girly things #this is a girlblog #pinterest girl #loa

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