#you're scaring us and all of us/some of us love you achilles it's not much but there's proof
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hello yes it is time for my monthly finding meaning in life bc of achilles come down by gang of youths
#cassy bitches#literally every line in that song is an absolute revelation#'the self is not so weightless nor whole and unbroken'#you're scaring us and all of us/some of us love you achilles it's not much but there's proof#remember your virtue/redemption lies plainly in truth#there may be no meaning so find one and seize it!!#anyway if i wrote more i'd have like seven fics named after lyrics in this song lol
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Achilles, Achilles, Achilles come down, won't you get up off, get up of the roof?
You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you, Achilles, it's not much but there's proof.
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Eddie Diaz - Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths (part 2)
Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you
Achilles, it's not much but there's proof
You crazy-assed cosmonaut, remember your virtue
Redemption lies plainly in truth
Just humor us, Achilles, Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
Bobby - part one here
#eddie diaz#achilles come down#911 abc#911 fandom#911 buddie#911 edit#911edit#eddie diaz edit#purple edit
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Congratulations, bestie! 💕 This is only the beginning. You are SO talented, one of my fave people on tumblr. I would like to request. . .
Joel Miller vaginally double-penetrating you with a dildo and degrading you for it 😇
Thank you! Love you so much! 🖤🖤🥹🥹
My love, my dark queen, thank you so much! You have no idea what an inspiration you are to me! Your creativity astonishes me every fucking day, and I'm here for it!
Now, I said I was gonna do 500-words drabbles. I know I did. But I'm a clown, and something happened with my brain. I hope you find this little thing enjoyable. Because I sure as fuck had a lot of fun writing it!
he hurt me but it felt like true love
paring: dark-ish!Joel x f!afab!Reader
rating: explicit (18+ minors DNI)
word count: 1,5k~
warnings: ER; PWP (for real, no plot at all); erotic humiliation; double vaginal penetration; sex toy; emotionally estranged Joel; kinda toxic Joel?; explicit sexual content; degradation/praise; unsafe PinV; pussy slapping (barely); dirty talk; anal scare; no use of y/n. let me know if I missed anything.
dedicated to @toxicanonymity
MY MASTERLIST (I will eventually create a separate link for all the celebration fics!)
"You didn't actually think I won’t find it, did ya?"
You've been wet for at least an hour now. When Joel came up to you in the kitchen with his unusual, deceivingly sweet nothings, rubbing your lower back and whispering how much he missed you, you were stupid enough to stay clueless. Joel was not the soft kind. Joel was not the "kiss you out of nowhere" type. And he definitely wasn't the "I missed you today type". He was the "missed this fuckin' pussy' while lightly slapping your quickly dampening crotch" type, and you were okay with that. So why his sudden softness didn't raise alarms inside you right away you didn't know. Now, as he is standing between your parted thighs, buried to the hilt inside your ever-so-welcoming heat, and swaying the rubber dick you've kept hidden in your bedside table, everything clicks. Judging by the look on his face you know you're fucked. Big times.
"I guess, if my cock's not enough for a slut like you, I might just use it. Maybe then you’ll stop bitching so much."
Without as much as waiting for you to come up with some kind of response, he continues pounding into you, his thrust harder than ever. His hand tightens around the black rubber of the fake dick and for a second you're mesmerized by how easily his large hand fully envelops the sizable girth. You're quickly brought to reality when Joel presses the head of the dildo into your asshole. You start sweating, and at the moment it is not at all from excitement. You know Joel, you remember him whispering how much he wanted to fuck your other hole, but it never came to that. The thought terrified you more than thrilled, and today wasn't the exception. But Joel looked angry, he looked like he might just…
"No, no, please, Joel, not my ass," you trashed your head from side to side, trying to push him off you but he held you down too hard.
"What?"
Admittedly, 'no' wasn't a word that sounded in your bedroom often. You were ready to give all of yourself to him, however he wanted. Your response to his desires was almost Pavlovian: whatever he wants - he gets, and you thank him for that. So when the syllable slips from your lips, you don't know if he's more angry or dumbfounded.
"Please," you continue to beg, knowing full well that was his Achilles' heel. Joel loved seeing you ruined, and begging for release, for a break, didn't matter. Your voice is shaking and the tears streaming down your cheeks are not an act you can put on sometimes to give Joel what the demon inside him craves. "Not my ass."
His pounding is relentless, you know you'll have bruises on the inside of your thighs from his hip bones hitting your skin so roughly. When he slaps your thigh and bares his teeth, you kind of already know that you've won.
"Do you fucking think you call the shots here, doll?"
"No-oo," your voice trembles, but this time not from fear, because he's already easing the pressure of the fake dick from your tight ring of muscles but not removing it completely. "I don't, I," you whisper, shaking your head, "I beg… just… please."
Joel is smiling, and no matter how maniacal it looks, your insides flutter. He is the most handsome man you've ever seen.
"Think your cunt is greedy enough to take two cocks?"
And the fear's back tenfold. You can't even fathom the idea of having two cocks inside you if they were regular-sized, and Joel... Well, he was huge, to say the least. It took you a week of abstinence after you first fucked him - or, rather, he fucked the shit out of you - to not feel like you'd been torn apart. You grew accustomed to him with time, the feeling of him on top of you, or pounding into you from behind, weighed out the discomfort that you grew to love. But what he suggests now, you don't think it'll work.
"What?" By the look on his face, you already know there's no way he's gonna fall for you begging again.
"If I'm not putting it in your ass, you better beg me prettily to put it in your cunt. Or," the unsaid rest of the sentence speaks for itself when he pushes into the tight entrance of your ass but it doesn't give because of how hard you clench it. Your choices are quite slim when you weigh the options.
"Please, please, Sir, put it in my pussy. I want it so bad. I want you to fuck me with your cock and the toy, please."
He huffs a laugh at the stream of pleadings leaving your breathless body, finally bringing the toy away from your asshole and inspecting it.
"I guess both of those cocks are mine now."
You play along, because you know, the more obedient you are, the less he'll want to hurt you. "Please, stuff me full of your cocks, I need them in my pussy."
His sigh is heavy like he's tired of you, but by now you know him too well to see through the bullshit. He's excited, more than he's been in a while.
"What a greedy fucking cunt, can’t believe you ask for two cocks in your hole when you could barely take mine alone."
You nod fervently and spread your legs further when he all but throws the dick in your face. "Suck on this for a while, I'm tired of your whinin’."
With trembling hands that you barely unclasped from the sheets you'd been grabbing too long and too tight, you bring the toy to your mouth and get to work. He doesn't even look at you as you slurp and spit on the rubber, the obscene sounds are just background noise.
He brings one of his fingers to your entrance that's already stretched on his dick and pushes in with methodical movements, after a few pumps he hums in approval and squeezes a second one into your pussy.
You squeeze around him and bite down the rubber dick in your mouth, because you're overwhelmed with gratitude for him actually taking time to stretch you out, but at the same time because you feel like you might snap any second.
Joel slaps your clit with the palm of his free hand and stares into your eyes, a warning in his voice. "Fucking relax that cunt. You wanna be a greedy bitch, you gotta act accordingly."
For a fleeting second, he circles his thumb over your clit, and even if your brain couldn't make you, the sting of pleasure forces your body to relax, that’s when he pushes his third finger in and starts thrusting with abandon.
"That’s it, little slut, now we're talking."
The sheer pressure, the amount of him inside you is hard to comprehend. You feel like you have a fever, you sweat profusely and you don't know if you want to cry, scream and push him away with zero strength that was left in your body, or beg for him to continue. You don't have the time to figure it out, your body taking over your mind when a string inside snaps and you cum all over him. Your pussy spasms at first, and you know it's painful for him because he hisses and takes his fingers out, but you don't own your body anymore. You can't do anything about it. You don't even exist. After the twitching of your cunt around his still very hard cock subsides, you feel euphoria. Like you're a puddle, not even a liquid state, but a gas. The cock falls out of your mouth, and it's coated in saliva, bite marks visible on the silicone head.
Joel stretches as far as he can without separating from you and snickers. "Fuckin' glad that wasn't my cock in your mouth."
You're delirious when he lines up the dildo to your stuffed, drenched hole. As he slowly pushes in, the scream rips from your chest, and you tear the side of your lip with its intensity. You're overstimulated and trembling, you feel your legs start to shake and get numb. The fullness inside you is soul-stirring, it almost feels like you're being torn apart and put together into a better version of yourself. Stronger, more desirable. It's a heady feeling, you're afraid of it. Afraid of never feeling it again.
"Good job, looking like a proper fucking slut, baby." His praise is sick and foul, and it makes you feel like you're worthy of fucking Gods. "Fucks sake, you're so stretched, my cock'd fall right out of ya whore pussy if I took that toy out, wouldn't it?" He tries to push the cock in at the same time as the dildo, so the emptiness when he leaves changes to the dizzying feeling of fullness when he pushes back in. The tell-tale feeling of tightness enslaves your body and once again you can't help it when your body is constricting without your volition, warning you about the upcoming burst.
The tears run down your face and you taste their saltiness on your tongue, you almost drown in it.
"Don't fucking cry." Joel's enraptured by your body, by your strength, but he'll never tell you that. "You asked for it yourself, now be a good slut and cum on my dicks, come on."
When your release gushes out of you, you fail to tell Joel that for the first time with him, you actually cried tears of divine happiness.
#i am not a saddie#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x you#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#joel x reader#iamasaddie fic#dark smut#dark!joel smut
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you're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you
achilles, it's not much but there's proof
The boat is moving before he can fully process it.
He’s moving before he can fully process it.
(They can’t leave without him.)
His legs move on their own desperate accord, and he’s only vaguely aware of two pairs of hands, one pair gripping each arm and stopping him in his tracks.
“Roier!”
“Roier, stop it!”
He struggles. Fights for his life.
(His life isn’t on the boat.)
(They can’t leave without him.)
Voices plea, but he can barely hear them over the sound of someone else yelling.
(“No! No, no, no! Cellbo! Cellbo!”)
He’s yanked back, away from the railing.
(“Cellbit! Cellbit!”)
It’s him yelling, he realizes, as his legs give out. The hands can’t catch him and he falls to the deck, communicator clattering out of reach.
Everything is blurry. So blurry. Fuzzy. He thinks he's crying. Thinks he can feel hot tears streaming down his cheeks.
But it's hard to think. Hard to hear. Hard to see. His voice goes hoarse. It cracks, breaks. His hands curl into fists in his lap as he hunches over himself.
"Mi esposo..!"
Someone crouches beside him. Maybe two people. He isn't sure. There's a hand on his back, one on his shoulder. They're saying something, but it sounds like it's underwater.
(He feels like he's underwater. Like he's drowning.)
(They're leaving without him.)
"Mi amor..."
today, of all days, see
how the most dangerous thing is to love
#...sorry#'as the world caves in' this and 'a thousand years' that#all good choices btw i am suffering#but i raise you 'achilles come down' by gang of youths instead#bc fuck you *achilles and patroclus's your spiderbit*#thanks roier english updates on bird app for mentioning the song i hate you#slash lh#qsmp roier#spiderbit#qsmp purgatory#qsmp#blue writes qsmp
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(KNY) YANDERE PLATONIC! KOKUSHIBO x SISTER READER: You, Shibou. I, Kokoro (CHAPTER EIGHT)
Previous Chapter ☆♡☆ Masterlist ☆♡☆ Next Chapter
AO3 link
CHAPTER EIGHT: "You’re scaring us and all of us, some of us love you Achilles, it’s not much but there’s proof"
Trauma from growing up too fast is rather severe, Causes of this can include homelessness, Parental Abuse, ETC.
Symptoms can include the belief that you need to always be strong and are disconnected from your needs, Believing that you cannot ask for help being isolated and distrustful.
It is very hard for the person to express their needs to another person, Even sometimes having trouble recognising that they have needs.
Her feet brushed against the thin wood of her sandals. Pushing in her toes she fastened the tie over them. Tapping the heel once she deemed it was steady and stood up.
Rubbing her eyes, [F/N] yawned as she stretched. The sleep rolling off her muscles as she groggily dragged her feet over to the closet. Despite having a good few hours of rest, She still felt tired.
The darkness of the room was barely an afterthought as she lumbered over to the closet and stood in front of it. The old wood coupled with splinters wasn't a bother either, The entire room that felt so foreign faded into an unwillingly familiar terrain.
Opening up the old closet door with a creek she was greeted with the row of kimono's and other accessories organised neatly inside. She sighed, They were new and exactly her size. Her fingers itched, How he knew her measurements exceeded her.
It had been a good few days since her encounter with Akaza, Or at least she thinks so. There was no clock to tell the time or anything that could even signal day or night. Everything was dark constantly, Her best estimate on the time was that she had fallen asleep sixteen times. A number she tallied onto the wall beside her futon.
After her talk with him she recalled the very next 'morning' what he did. It was weird to say the least, Why were all the demon's she encountered thus far been so strange?
At first it was just the fact he didn't raise a hand against women, Sure that was a bit odd on its own but it was ignorable if not irritating. But then it was when he escorted her back to bed when she was in pain was when his irregularity was glaringly obvious.
Demons don't show kindness, They don't. That's what [F/N] had been telling herself all this time, For all her life. Though she never had any feelings towards demons as a whole she recognised their behaviour.
Everything was weird, And she needed to accept that.
[F/N] didn't know what it was, It was probably what Akaza said that day. She was pathetic, She tried to escape once then gave up. That's what he said, At the time she had felt insulted and exposed. Like she was dropped naked into freezing water, It was uncomfortable and it made her mad.
But with the time she had to mull over his words she had came to the conclusion that yes, He was right.
Even though she had only tried once within the two day timeframe it was the days afterwards that really proved him right. [F/N] had tried running again, Putting a single foot onto the old docks before getting cold feet and backing out.
All this time she had been rotting away in her hopelessness, A dull feeling of weakness and vulnerability. She had focused on her sorrow so much that she couldn't even fathom the idea of finding another escape route.
She had to press her hands up against the molding wood at one point, Pushing her forehead against it and ignoring the splinters.
[F/N] had to breathe in and out, Confirming the bark was corporeal to the touch.
[F/N] was here. She was here and she needed to accept that.
[F/N] had no time to focus on how she felt right now, Her feelings don't matter. Cry later when you're out of here, Your emotions won't help you survive. Will they?
She bit her tongue and the way she sifted through the various kimono's grew a bit more focused. Akaza had helped her on that front too, This was the first time in ages she had actually decided to change out of her jinbei and into actual day clothes.
Though she hadn't showered, Something she was in dire need of with her greasy hair and sweat pressed skin. [F/N] would need to see if there was still a communal bathing place here, Hoping it wasn't taken out of the modifications Kokushibo made.
Kokushibo, Right.
He had arrived back to the shrine after being called by that man. [F/N] had been waiting on the edge of her seat (Or in this case, Futon) for the news. Would she be killed? Would she be tortured for information? The possibilities for what could of happened went awry in her mind.
Though nothing ever came of it. The next time she saw him was when he dropped off another bowl of soba on her vanity, He had said a curt hello before leaving. It was cold, She figured he was sticking to his promise of 'No affection' and to her he was doing it perfectly.
[F/N] figured that she was safe, It was nothing to worry about. He was probably just called for some routine Uppermoon Business, Or whatever that could be. Muzan probably didn't know she was here, If he did he would of been here to get information out of her by now.
After that Kokushibo had been very hands off, [F/N] found out that he had a sort of schedule where he'd be present in the shrine for a few hours before leaving for another good few.
[F/N] had assumed that was her sign of night and day. Kokushibo would leave at night and return in the mornings just to escape the sun. While he was here he didn't speak to her much, Keeping to his promise.
The most interaction they had was the meals he delivered to her. Breakfasts tending to be bowls of rice and miso soup, Lunches often being steamed vegetables and dinner being some kind of fish that he had caught.
Most of the time they ended up not being touched. Little nibbles here or there before [F/N] started to become full, Proceeding to abandon the dish in favour of searching around the shrine.
Apart from that she only caught him in passing down the hallways, They made no move to speak but his eyes always shifted to her. Examining and scrutinizing her, Looking like a judge to a convict all before they finally passed by and went on their own paths.
[F/N] shivered afterwards, Every time he was out of sight she'd sigh and continue on trying to forget the burning gaze he held. She often wondered what his game-plan was.
Was he trying to deprive her of social interaction? If so then it wouldn't work, She didn't want to speak to him. [F/N] didn't need social interaction, Not at all, Not in the slightest.
That's what she would like to think. In truth she felt words choke up her throat, Words wanting to spill out whenever she passed him.
Humans by nature were social creatures, She was no exception. Even though [F/N] was particularly anti-social in personality she did require interaction which often came from the Kakushi or her colleagues back home.
Now it was just him and her, The only source of communication. Well, Him, Her and Akaza that is.
He often arrived in the shrine when Kokushibo left, It seems like they rotated in shifts. Whenever Kokushibo left Akaza would be keen on entering, She could tell by the sounds of the poor dummy being punched around again and again in the courtyard.
[F/N] and Akaza didn't talk much either, Mostly because [F/N] didn't see him at all. She didn't wander out into the courtyard, On the rare occasion she did he wasn't there. Bad timing to be accountable.
Though as she finally picked out a kimono. A beautiful white with blue flower patterns brushing against the bottom, Splotches of gold to break it up and a navy obi to tie it all together she was hit with an idea.
Akaza. His behaviour the first time they met, It struck a chord in her. The language, The way he talked and the energy he gave off finally connected together. If she wanted to get out, It wouldn't hurt to gain an ally or two would it?
[F/N] on her own was practically useless. She was feeble and weak which is why she relied on things like weapons and others to keep her raised high. Akaza, The Uppermoon three despite how much she disfavoured his personality was strong and capable.
As she carefully draped the kimono around her shoulders and wrapped the indigo obi around her waist she brewed the thought inside her mind. It was the first step, The one she couldn't take earlier on the dock.
Fixing her oily hair and throwing on her signature haori she walked out of the room, Ready to bargain.
☆♡☆
The sun was rose high, A blinding white within the crystallin blue sapphire surrounding it.
The cool near frosty breeze was an after affect of the leaving winter. Birds awoken from their long sleep sung rhapsodies in the air, The tree's and bushes they sat on were abundant in a healthy basil green.
The entire scene was reminiscent of a Monet painting, Flowers and foliage in bloom. It was beautiful, The Kakushi assigned to take care of it took great patience in trimming and tending to the garden.
Inside the house all the Hashira gathered, At least the one's that were left. The shoji doors opened to let the outside scenery in as they sat together in a rectangular position. The Ubuyashiki estate was rife with life today, Yet the conversation's were dead and the air felt suffocating to be in.
All of the events were a hot topic none of them wanted to talk on. From Rengoku's unfortunate death, Tengen's retirement and the demise of [F/N]. The last time they had met it was on a lighter note, This is the first time they'd all been together since.
Sanemi and Iguro kept their heads down low, Not speaking a word. Despite the wide smile on her face, Shinobu did not tease or try to communicate with Giyuu. Gyomei and Muichiro not talking and keeping to themselves.
Usually at meetings before there would be a higher tone in the air. Tengen would be himself, Talkative and as he would put it: Flashy. Rengoku was always social as well, Always looking out for his teammates.
[F/N] often didn't show up to meetings but when he did he tended to always be in a good mood. While he didn't try to talk and kept quiet he did have his moments with a sarcastic comment, A relaxed conversation and a rare argument with either Sanemi or Iguro.
While he wasn't generally liked or paid attention to, He was still a core member of the team. Not to mention the dynamic he had with Mitsuri, The two were often inseparable and when Mitsuri was around it was only her who could bring out a charismatic and laid-back side of him.
Mitsuri, She hadn't shown up yet. It was strange but it wasn't unexpected. All of the Hashira had heard about her state from both Iguro and Shinobu, The way she appeared the last time they met and the breakdown was all accounted for.
The story they had told back then was gut-wrenching. The state she was in, The rut she called a bed and one she couldn't get out of.
Though they had told it in such detail both Shinobu and Iguro had agreed afterwards to leave some particular details out. Example being the way in which he died as well as the note.
Mitsuri was also a prime member of the tone, Her bubbly nature was infectious and could reach the heart of basically anyone. Her prescence missing was like a lost limb to the attitude, She was often one of the first that arrived.
They hoped while the master was still absent that she would return, In what state however… They had decided to wait on her, It was only right. While the majority didn't expect much, Shinobu's intuition had been telling her otherwise. A gut feeling proven right once the unnaturally loud sound of sliding shoji door's fed into the room.
A sudden jolt of noise. Everyone's head snapped round in a single motion, All in tandem. It was a noise that broke them all out of their own thoughts and theories to drag their eyes up to Mitsuri standing straight in the doorframe.
"Good morning everyone!" Mitsuri greeted. Wide smile stretching ear to ear to show off her pearly whites. Her eyes contained a bright shine inside of them, Swirling around like fish in a pound with her cheeks flushed with a burning blush.
If the silence wasn't static before it certainly was now, Eyes widening and shock coursing throughout their systems at the sight of her.
Mitsuri by all means was looking better than ever. Her hair was well washed and perfectly tied into her tri-braids, Her skin was as clear as her glassy shamrock eyes. Her uniform tidy and neat with her haori like dove feathers completely spotless.
She looked amazing, Revitalized like the first snow in winter or the blossom of cherries in the spring. Her entire energy radiated like the sun and glowed so bright, And that was why it was so striking. So contrasting to the dowry mood in the room.
"Sorry I'm late! Ah, It's really embarrassing but I had to stop by to get a snack or two. The vendor made it sound so appetising and- Kyah~! I just couldn't resist!" Mitsuri squealed. Fanning her burning cheeks.
She pranced over to an empty seat on the tatami mat, Completely oblivious to the looks and the suffocating air in the room. Mitsuri quickly plopped down onto the seat and sat cross-legged while humming a tiny tune.
The rest of The Hashira sat in a stunned silence. They thought when she arrived, If at all, She would appear washed up. From the recount of Shinobu and Iguro they expected a deep frown, Messy hair and ragged uniform. Even without the tale they expected as such.
But seeing her so.. Upbeat was concerning. The only Hashira in the room not to appear as such was Shinobu, Already aware of the reason yet kept quiet, Believing that it wasn't her story to tell.
"Erm.. Kanroji-san?" Iguro decided to speak up first. His voice hesitant and slow as if she was a ticking explosive, Ready to detonate any moment as he eyed her up and down. Checking for any cracks.
"Yes, Obanai-san?" Mitsuri replied. Pep in her voice as she looked over to him with that same gleam. It was the one she use to wear regular, It was the one she had lost when he saw her last.
"Are you.. Are you okay?" Iguro asked. Kabamaru circled round his neck once and peaked out from behind his choppy mop of hair, Curious and concerned for the girl sitting only a few feet away from them.
Mitsuri's smile grew wider.
"I feel amazing, Oh-" Mitsuri paused, Smile dropping slightly "If this is about last time then I'm really sorry, I shouldn't of spoke to you like that and I am so so sorry!" Mitsuri bowed down low in a near comical motion, Genuine regret bouncing off her tone as she did.
Gyomei's beads rattled, The tears flowing down his cheeks shown his tone once he decided to speak up.
"Kanroji-san.. I do believe that is not what we are worried about here. I understand you and Fujimori-san were close, So your happy voice is a bit.. Jarring." Gyomei spoke in a lamenting tone, His voice was as big as him as he spoke.
"It's a tragedy.. Fujimori-san had planned on retiring and he was killed only a few days before. It makes my heart wretch.. A poor man he was, But strong and respectable.." Gyomei said.
His brows furrowed slightly. Him and [F/N], The tension that they carried felt so faraway now. They never got along, Had opposing views and philosophies. They never agreed on anything yet Gyomei had always held honour and care for his colleagues.
Gyomei regretted his words, The last conversation they had didn't end in a good note. He had tried calling him out on his behaviour towards being a Hashira, Gyomei admits he was rather harsh.
Back then he had gotten in a fight with his former child, Kaigaku. He felt weakness course through him, Gyomei couldn't bring himself to behead the boy even though he knew it was for the best. Choosing to only assist from the side-lines, The shock on knowing what he had become was too much.
His frown deepened. If he only took charge and gave him the merciful kill he would've been able to get back to the shrine and assist [F/N], Maybe then he wouldn't of been killed and that thought ravaged his mind everyday on.
Mitsuri raised her head, Reverting back to her original position. She looked over to Gyomei, She was unaverred along with her smile.
"I'm not sad, Himejima-san. Not anymore. I'm guessing from your reaction that Shinobu-san didn't tell you what really happened" Mitsuri inquired, Situation only catching on now.
"Correct, I didn't think it was my place to say." Shinobu answered for him. Nodding slightly with that ever-present smile only dimming slightly by the mention of the events. Mitsuri nodded back in confirmation.
Sanemi decided to speak, Raising a non-existent eyebrow.
"Events? The hell you talkin' bout." He chimed in, Gruff and semi-aggressive tone finally showing itself in response to the hint of information. The out of line tone he wore seemed to break the suffocation if only a little bit.
"Shinazugawa-san.. Please, This isn't a time to be informal.." Giyuu pipped up though was instantly shot a look at by Sanemi, One that made Giyuu look away. Stoic expression still on his face.
Even though he wanted to, Sanemi didn't speak again.
The silence set in once more and Mitsuri decided to take the chance. It needed to be said, They needed to know what happened.
"..Well, If I'm being honest with you all.. The events back at the shrine didn't go exactly as it did in the report." Mitsuri started. Even though her words were serious they were said with such a light-hearted tone that made them seem so small.
"Why would the report lie..?" Muichiro pondered softly, The first comment he contributed was with dull eyes and a cloudy expression.
"It didn't exactly lie, Most of what happened was true however there were some bits that are wrong due to.. Withheld information." Mitsuri explained, Turning her head over to the young boy.
"Withheld information?" Gyomei inquired, Rattling the beads once more.
"Yeah, The information that I failed to provide was the way [F-.. Right, Should probably clarify first.." Mitsuri cleared her throat, Turning to the rest of the room. Shinobu looked back at Mitsuri, Ready to jump in if needed.
"Before I say the important piece of information.. I need to say that [F/N], The head shrine maiden at the Kakushi base and Fujimori-san are the same person." Mitsuri announced.
Eyes widened, Heads tilted and frowns deepened. The new knowledge being a shock. They wanted to speak, Question the impossible new knowledge. The two looked and acted completely different.
One was jovial and relaxed, Tended to forget his duties as a slayer and was generally unserious. The other was a hard-working associate of the Ubuyashiki family, One that never seemed to crack a smile and kept quiet.
They wanted to question it, But Mitsuri wasn't finished.
"Before you say anything! Please let me finish before you ask questions." Mitsuri butted in. The questions dying at the tongue and kept back by the closing of the jaw. Sanemi and Gyomei were confused, Giyuu and Iguro were curious. Iguro especially since he thought them being the same was the only piece of information she had.
Mitsuri gripped the edge of her skirt.
"The information I wanted to give you was about the way [F/N]-san died. While your report was correct on the part that she was killed by a demon.. The truth is.." Mitsuri trailed off, Taking a deep breath in.
"[F/N] killed herself."
The rattling of beads stopped.
Heads snapped back around. Eyes expanded to that of like saucers and jaws dropped open. Shinobu looked back at Mitsuri and nodded in encouragement as the entire room fell to a dead silence.
The entire reaction was a mixed bag. Sanemi's expression for the first time turned blank, No sign of aggression or emotion.. Just.. Nothing. A rare visage he never wore but now was displayed entirely.
Giyuu's lips parted. Eyelids rising at the last word spoken.
Iguro's calm expression he had before winced slightly.
Gyomei didn't speak, Nor made any motion to move. Though he had been compared before, His likeness to that of a statue now was uncanny. None of his muscles moving an inch.
"Killed.. Herself?" Muichiro muttered. The only indifference he showed now was the slight lowering of his eyebrows and the misty sapphire in his eyes start to part. He spoke as if testing the words on his tongue, A foreign concept, One completely unheard of.
Before Mitsuri could answer, Another voice butted in.
"What are you tryin' to feed me here? First your saying Fujimori-san was [F/N], Then you're telling us that he killed himself?! Bull. Shit!" Sanemi snapped, The baring of his teeth and his slowly rising figure was enough to show that.
"Shinazugawa-san, Please sit down." Shinobu called out as she watched the man get to his feet, Not bothering to look back at her as his eyes were stabbing straight into Mitsuri who didn't falter once.
"Fujimori-san was a rat bastard, I'll give you that. But him killing himself? You've got to be joking. Even if he did for what reason would he even do it? For fucks sake the man did this job for the fun of it. He had no fucking worries at all so why?!" Sanemi snapped.
His anger was unprecedented, It was unexpected too. Of all people she expected him to shrug it off like he usually did, Toss his head to the side and huff as if the act [F/N] did was simply nothing.
Instead he stood as if he was about to throw a punch, A fighting stance bracing for impact at the same time. His teeth were gnarled and his usual eyes that held a crazy look in them seemed tenfold now.
"Shinazugawa-san, Sit down.." Gyomei's voice cut through the rapidly building tension in the room. His voice echoed and was authoritative, Not unlike that of a disappointed father.
Sanemi turned around to face Gyomei, His stance still wide and strong yet it dimmed under the older man's presence.
"Kanroji-san has not finished.. Sit down and we'll discuss this afterwards." Gyomei rumbled. Still in his position, Unwavering and strong.
Sanemi hesitated, Looking at the man once before taking a step back. He turned back once more to Mitsuri before stomping off back to his seat and promptly sitting down, Anger dissipated as his head hung low. Waiting for the next few words.
"Thank you, Himejima-san.." Mitsuri nodded towards him in gratitude. "So, I understand how this can be a bit unbelievable, I know.. I was like that too.."
Mitsuri's hand traced the edge of her thick vanilla haori before snaking inside. Fishing around before reeling back and presenting a folded piece of paper, Raising it up high to display to the entire room.
Brows were raised at the piece of paper, Faces contorted into all sorts.
"Kanroji-san.. That's not what I think it is. Right?" Giyuu spoke up, Eyes locked on to the fibre caressed between the girl's fingers. Giyuu was the first to realise, The only one to point it out before she did.
"Yes. This right here is the proof you need, This is [F/N]'s suicide note. Her last words spoken.. Or.. Written down." Mitsuri announced. Determination burned within the clover ocean of her eyes, Shine on the sea's surface glistened like foam.
"A.. A suicide note? Fujimori-san wrote a note.." Muichiro repeated slowly, Seeming contemplating over the words now revealed to them.
He wasn't alone, The entire room's eyes were dead set on Mitsuri. No one made a move to speak. People like Sanemi or Iguro only looked at her like she had three heads. Muichiro, Giyuu and Gyomei's expressions were simply blank and focused while Shinobu just wore her usual smile.
Mitsuri unfolded the paper. The rustling of the flaps coming undone seemed so loud, Ringing like deafening church bells within the confines of the room.
She brought the final piece back down, Levelling it with her eyes. Taking a deep breath, Mitsuri inhaled.
All before her lips parted and she began to speak.
☆♡☆
SLAM!
The back of the patchwork dummy hit the courtyard walls with force that made the old structure shake.
It dropped down to the floor, Bits of stuffing surrounding it once more. Akaza stood only about a metre away, Panting, Out of breath from his non-stop attack. It had been going on for so long that even a demon such as him felt tired, An oddity.
He leaned back up from his hunched position. Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead and the rest of his body was basically drenched in the stuff, Staining patches into his sleeveless haori.
The warmth of the courtyard contributed to that, The only place with any semblance of heat within this cold hell of a shrine. Despite being a dull and dreary nightmare it was the only place that had any sort of privacy within the infinity castle.
Stalking over slowly to the defeated ragdoll he reached down, Picking it up by its left shoulder and setting it back in place. The ragdoll swivelled around a little before he stepped back to prepare once again, Raising his fists.
To perfect his form, That's why he did this. To crease over any little crack and imperfection in his technique. What position of his hand can make it fly back the furthest? How fast can he throw a punch?
The dummy sufficed to practice on his surface level form. It was an inanimate object in the shape of a person, One that stayed still and let him do as he pleased.
And that's why it was so annoying to him.
Akaza lowered his fists, The expression of fire burning bright and ready to fight died out on his face. It was useless. It didn't matter, This wasn't a human being or a strong Hashira to fight.
Akaza 'tched and turned around away from the thing. A Hashira was strong, Powerful. A Hashira could fight back and read his attacks, They could provide the right information to him, Ways to get stronger. To hone his technique and reach perfection.
He was at a point where he was weaker than both Uppermoon one and two, A fact that made him grit his teeth and clench his fists. But he was way stronger than any of the late moons below him.
He was in the middle, He was average. He was Uppermoon three out of six.
It was a limbo he couldn't escape. One he had tried several times and why he had tried to convince so many Hashira to turn and become a demon. They provided the information, When they fought Akaza could feel himself grow stronger. It was powerful, Invigorating even.
But they never accepted his offer, One to fight and spar forever. To grow stronger together, To climb the ranks and become the strongest of all. It irked him to no end, He didn't understand. Why wouldn't they want to accept?
He had no clue. To him it sounded like an offer of a lifetime, So tantalizingly wonderful and irresistible.
Whatever, He thought. Maybe they weren't so strong after all, He shouldn't waste his time on weaklings.
Akaza started to walk away, Plagiarised confidence from his usual stance as his steps echoed throughout the courtyard. Passing by the centrepiece tree and heading towards one of the exits.
He pushed the doors open and quickly walked through. The dummy was basically useless now, It was old and ruined after years of torture from him. It didn't bring him the same skill that it use to.
The coldness of the shrine halls started to fade in and the warmth from the core of the courtyard faded out. The chill running down his spine and seeping into the fibre of his muscle as he walked.
He huffed. Passing by tapestries depicting dragons of old, Yokai and Kitsune all dancing within the threads. Disgusting, He figured that he shouldn't be here anymore. Maybe if he went out again he could find another Hashira to fight.
One that this time was str-
"Hey."
A voice called out from behind him.
His eyes narrowed in annoyance. Despite the voice only being heard a couple of select times, It was one he recognised.
Akaza cocked his head round to the side, Golden irises and ink stained kanji glaring into the form of the girl. She was leaning up against the doorway he had just left, Only capable of going unnoticed due to her lack of fighting spirit.
"What do you want?" He answered back. His voice like the edge of a cutting blade and piercing into her like one too. Yet it drew no blood, Her expression was stone and it looked like it was enticed by him.
[F/N] pushed herself up from the rickety doorframe and stood in her stance. Arms folded over her chest and her legs planted onto the ground. She had a sort of sly smile playing on the corners of her mouth when she stared at him.
"I've came to speak to you. About the other day and a few more things." She replied casually as if discussing the weather, As if she wasn't in the midst of pandemonium. The place of all demons.
Akaza blew air through his nose.
"There's nothing to speak about. You were injured, I only did it because you would've told Upper one about my presence here if I left you there." Akaza responded. Irritated as to why she was here.
"I mean, Maybe. But even so you didn't have to change my bandages, That was something you did on your own." [F/N] said, Taking a few steps towards him as if sizing him up. Akaza rolled his eyes.
"What are you trying to imply here?" He asked, Taking a few steps more in return to her. They were only a few feet apart now, Staring each other down like a western frontier stand-off.
"I'm implying nothing. I'm just saying what you did outright… And thanks, By the way.." [F/N] said, The last part of her sentence was mumbled but Akaza picked it up alright. He scoffed and tossed his head to the side.
"If you're just here to thank me then get lost. I'm busy and I don't have time to talk with the likes of you." Akaza scolded. Swiftly spinning around he began to march away, Quicker than a usual stride or stroll as he wanted to leave immediately.
Staying out of this is for the best. Akaza didn't want to get wrapped up in whatever kind of relationship she was involved in with Kokushibo, She meant bad news and she looked it too. He had better things to do, People to fight, Ways to get stronger.
"Wait, Wait, Wait!" Akaza heard her voice behind him, It seemed a little more desperate and surprised attempt to get him to stay compared to the cocky and tough exterior she sported. It was a crack in her porcelain, Something that made Akaza stop in his tracks.
"What? What do you want, I told you to get lost so beat it." Akaza responded more assertively, Eyebrows furrowing into a scowl as he turned back around to face her. Whose expression was that of a surprised kid.
"Seriously, I don-"
"You hate Kokushibo, Don't you?" [F/N] quickly butted in.
Her agape jaw closed and curled up into a sly smile as she watched Akaza's broken glass eyes widen in shock. Bingo, She was correct. Her gut feeling was right.
"..Huh? How did you.." He mumbled half to himself.
"You hate Kokushibo, Right? I mean don't get me wrong, I do too." [F/N] confirmed, A soft chuckle lacing the end of her sentence. Her eyes glimmered under the aquamarine reflections, White sparkles that seemed to look right through Akaza.
[F/N] smiled. Her bet paid off. Before she wasn't quite sure, But she decided to take a risk and say it bluntly and lo and behold, Her bet paid off. For the past few days she had been thinking over her previous interaction with him, Every little moment, Picking up just the little details.
She was ticked off by the way he said his name, That's the catalyst. The way it dripped with venom and burned like a wildfire was something she could feel straight from the tap. Once she realised that she started to piece it together.
The next part that helped was the way he spoke about strength while being Upper three. He valued it more than anything and most of all he trained non-stop while he was here, He wanted to get stronger.
Not to mention the report at the Mugen Train incident. The conversation and description of him provided testament to that.
Alone they meant nothing, But together they gave her a key to the lock. Akaza hated Kokushibo.
And that was something [F/N] was going to use to her full advantage.
"Yeah.. I do. He's a prick but so what if I hate the bastard?" Akaza spat out, Nose scrunching up at the mention of him. "What does it mean to you?"
[F/N] hummed a little, Pacing once or twice to the side while thinking over her words. Ones that she had been rehearsing in her head while searching for him, Making sure it was just right as she spoke.
"Well me and you. Let's be honest here, We are absolutely nothing alike for well.. Obvious reasons." [F/N] drawled, Nodding towards his general figure as she took a step towards him.
"But. We both here hate Kokushibo, That's what we have in common. I'm saying that we make a sort of.. Deal." [F/N] stumbled trying to find the right word to call what she was proposing. Akaza gawked at her, Whatever he had been expecting it was not that.
A disbelieving, Mean smile crept up on his face as he shook his head.
"No, Absolutely not. I don't know why you're here but if you were taken by Kokushibo then there must be a good reason for it, I'm not getting involved." Akaza said, Speaking his name with such acidity that she thought wisteria was in the air.
"I told you, I am not getting you out of here. Whatever relation you have to Kokushibo I want absolutely no part of and getting you out of here is off the table, Even being here with you right now is a risk. Besides.. What could you possibly offer me?" Akaza found it pitifully funny as he laughed through his frown.
[F/N]'s small smile dropped, A voice ringing in her head.
Do what you can to survive.
"What can I offer you? How about Kokushibo's head?"
Akaza stilled.
As soon as the words registered in his mind his body went rigid like a wooden board. His frown tightened and froze like water. What? What did she say? His eyes rose to meet hers, Unbelieving and shocked.
"What.. What do you mean?" Akaza asked slowly.
And just like that he had taken the bait. [F/N] felt slightly weighed down under his gaze, At any moment this could go wrong and her chance of escape would be lost. She needed to reel him in slowly, He suspected nothing.
[F/N] shrugs her shoulders.
"I'm his sister, He tells me everything you know. It just so happens that I also know his weakness and if you assist me then I'll gladly tell it to you. It's his Achilles heel, You find it out and he goes down." [F/N] trailed off, Holding back a gag once she referred to herself as his sister.
She was lying through her teeth. A practiced skill she had to learn quickly growing up, One that she never exceled at yet was good enough to get by. [F/N] never liked doing it, Especially when it meant calling herself his sister and the severe consequences that could happen if she was caught.
Akaza's lips parted, Eyes rising along with them as he heard her offer. It was unexpected, How could she have any idea what his so called 'Achilles heel' was? Could she be tricking him? Was this a lie? It was impossible to tell without a fighting spirit.
"How.. But.. You hate him, How could you know that?" Akaza rebutted. He seemed annoyed and unfocused before but now his attention was fully on her, Eyeing her up and down like a voracious hawk and ready to dig in with his claws.
[F/N] half-heartedly snorted.
"Well, Yeah. I hate him but that doesn't mean he hates me, Now does it? He may or may not let it slip during our conversations" She replied with a worn poker face, Staring him straight in the eye to meet the bird-of-prey gaze he returned with.
Akaza's eyes lowered.
"How do I know you're not lying to me.. What reason can you give?" Akaza queried. The question of the century. [F/N] had to calm her breathing like her training had always taught her to, She shallowly breathed in.
"I don't have any reason to give you, Only my word. But if you don't want to know then it's fine, Feel free to go back to the training dummy" [F/N] remarked, Shrugging her shoulders. Once it left her mouth she bit her tongue.
It felt nasty to lie, It was an old habit she had tried to get rid of but it reared its ugly head once more under the threat of eternal confinement. Whatever, She thought. It wasn't as if she could stoop any lower, Besides she needed it to survive.
Akaza scoffed. Half in disbelief and the other at the sheer audacity she had to offer this without any proof of reward to him. He would of insulted her, Told her off for doing such a ballsy move. But as he went to speak he couldn't find the words, None which he wanted to say anyways.
He turned around, A single palm hitting his forehead as he stared up towards the ceiling.
"Then why on earth would I agree to that?!" Akaza exasperated. [F/N] shrugged.
"Because you want to kill Kokushibo" She replied so casually that it caught him off guard. She said it with such disregard, It felt so wrong yet so enticing at the same time to Akaza.
It brought him back to their duel. Kokushibo knocking him down, The fight didn't even last five minutes. Akaza recalled how he had lain there while the executioner stalked up to him, Shadow casting over him as he stared down at his defeated form.
He stood like an emperor over him. Lectured him with a voice that silenced the entire room while his limbs could barely even regenerate. And to top it of he didn't even absorb him, Letting him rot another day.
Akaza hated him. He despised him, Every fibre of his muscles begged to destroy him. Every inch wanted to utterly annihilate him by any means necessary. He was so helpless like an injured animal yet wanted to fight back like a cornered beast.
He wanted to be the strongest, Any means necessary. Which is why his lip shook and his eyes lost focus, Contemplating the words proposed to him.
His mouth opened.
"Still.. Even if I do agree.. If I let you escape there'll be a target on my head, Possibly not even from just Kokushibo anymore.." Akaza replied and he was right. Kokushibo as loyal as he is would not hide away information from that man. If she was here then it was very possible that he was aware and let it happen for some unknown reason.
Letting her escape would be a death sentence.
"I'm not asking you to get me out of here, I'm just asking for your assistance. Just a bit of information and maybe you sneak me in a few items here and there, That's all I ask for and once I escape on my own I'll provide the information." [F/N] explained.
Akaza went silent once her proposition finished. He stood there now looking down at the floor, Arms limp at his sides. Slowly enough however, His fingers started to curl into a fist. Veins popping out from the sheer force as his knuckles cracked.
The only thing he could see was his face appear as a spectre in his mind. He knew what he had to do.
"..That's all?" It came out as a small whisper yet held so much weight that the air around them both shifted.
[F/N] nodded.
"That's all." She confirmed. Her right arm stretched out, It raised from its side and positioned itself in a uncompleted handshake. Her eyes narrowed as the fishing line seemed to tug, A bite she needed to reel in.
Akaza chuckled, A quiet and cruel sound as he shook his head.
"I can't believe I'm doing this.." He muttered. His hand reached out to meet hers, His cold dead fingers grasping onto hers in a now completed handshake. They shook once, Then twice. A firm hold from both sides.
The ceremony had been complete, The deal had been made.
"Ditto. If you told me I was here right now a few months ago.. I'd tell you you're insane." She joked-half heartedly. The warmth of her hand slipping from his icy grip as soon as the deal was finished.
Akaza huffed.
"Listen. I don't want to be friends with you nor do I want to spend more time then I need to. I don't want to get personal. We're only here on transactional means, Got it?" Akaza said with his returning composure.
"Oh trust me. I'm not betting on anything happening between us." [F/N] replied. A sort of understanding growing between them, One not built on trust nor was it on respect of any kind. Instead it was mutual gain.
Or mutual for him anyways, [F/N] still had no idea how she was gonna explain it to him.
"So? Did you want any knowledge right now or did you just make some weird pact for future reference?" Akaza asked. But as soon as he did the small smirk on [F/N]'s face stiffened then softened into a frown, One that strangely enough fit perfectly on her.
"..This is a deal. Not a pact." [F/N] stated, Her voice was frosty and colder than their surroundings. Her body growing irrationally rigid at the simple word, Eyes lowering as her shoulders raised. Guard getting back up.
"What? It's just word choice" Akaza responded, Tilting his head to the side only slightly as he eyed her new behaviour up and down.
"Yeah, Well.. It's a deal so I'd rather just use the right terminology. This isn't a pact, Promise, Oath or vow of any kind.." [F/N] trailed off, Eyes wandering to some obscure part of the room. Akaza hummed.
"What do you have against the word 'pact'?" He asked, An off-handed and disinterested question on the surface yet a tinge of curiosity lingered on the implications.
[F/N] huffed.
"I thought you said this wasn't meant to be personal?" She rebutted.
Akaza paused.
"..Touché" He said after a while.
"Well anyways.. I don't need anything right now, However I'll search you out once I do. So.. Keep coming here to train or whatever else you do here, I'll be in touch." [F/N] spoke, Turning around with a flip of her kimono and starting to pace off down the old hallway.
Akaza watched as she went, Listening to the clacks of her sandals and the way she moved like the undead. He didn't need her to have a fighting spirit to tell she was unsure of her actions as she trodden away.
He grimaced, Something she didn't notice as she finally spun round the corner disappearing on sight. He should of been happy, Excited even. A possible way of defeating the person standing in his way to become the strongest.
His elation should of been sky high yet the implications and the dangers of what he got himself into weighed him down. If he got caught then what would happen? Kokushibo from what Akaza heard was attached to her, Assumedly more.. Obsessive than most relations.
Though that was somewhat normal for a demon, Akaza couldn't help but wonder why. He shook his head, If he got caught while doing this then a gut feeling told him he didn't think Kokushibo would spare him this time.
He didn't want to be involved, He really didn't. But now that he was dragged in by the ankles and enticed by the heart he knew that he needed to get serious, Akaza needed a game plan. A way to keep this on the downlow, A way to reap the benefits.
Akaza snorted at the thought. How he was going to do that was up to him and him alone now, All he needed to do was gather items and provide information. That was all.
Akaza groaned and turned around now, Back showing to her empty space as he marched off down the hallway. Contemplating his new situation.
☆♡☆
"To Mitsuri, My dearest friend."
The high-pitched voice of the woman was now dim and serious. The room was completely silent around her as she spoke, The lilt in her voice wasn't sad nor was it anything that fit such a despondent and heart-wrenching situation. It was uncanny as the rest looked out to her.
No one dared to interrupt her announcement of the note. Mitsuri held it out in front of her as she read, All of their faces sombre and dowry under the soft morning light. A stark contrast to the dark and dreary feeling of the room.
"This probably isn't the letter you wanted from me, I know that and I've tried to make it better so it won't hurt as much."
The first verse in the letter. At the end of it the entire room's doubts were stomped down into the ground like an insect. They had questioned the validity of his suicide, Wondered why someone like him.. Or, Her now could do something like this.
Sanemi's lips pressed tight together, Eyes fixed onto the tatami mat below him as his head was hung low. Ears perked up and listening to every little word Mitsuri spoke. Fujimori.. To think he was [F/N] this entire time.
He remembered his actions, The shoves or the way he spoke.. He tried not to remember as he listened on.
"First off this isn't your fault, It's not at all. I've been feeling this way for as long as I can remember and I've tried and tried to find a way to feel something else other than monotony or subservience. Sake and such. but nothing has ever worked for me. Whether I found someone strong enough to kill me or that I finally found the gut's to do it myself. I want you to know I did it I did on my on volition. I chose this, You have nothing to feel bad over."
Nothing to feel bad over, A hope smoking up from a pipe dream. Mitsuri sat there so stoic and as stone faced as she could while the rest of the room was absolutely shocked to their core.
Iguro suddenly recalled back to the times he had insulted [F/N]. The times where he called him "A Sad Excuse of a Hashira" or other descripting words depicting him as lazy or cocky, One's he had said with such hate and ire as he spoke. Those memories bit into him like a viper and left him with a venomous guilt, Festering up like a poison as he remembered.
[F/N] always seemed to shake those words off at the time, Cocked his head and laughed but as they kept coming back to him Iguro wondered how many of his words stuck, How many left an impression.
He never had a good relationship with her. But Iguro wondered that if he hadn't said such things then maybe..
"Life just isn't worth living for me. I remember getting asked a short while ago what my purpose in life was, What my motivation was. It ate away at me for a while trying to find an answer. But In truth I have none except for protect those I hold dearest to me, Yet once I found out that my single motive became obsolete I now realise that what we call a reason to live is also an excellent reason to die."
Gyomei's eyes lowered. His face didn't make any movements but the tears in his eyes flowed down like fountains, The beads he rattled on at were dead still. He recognised what she meant in the letter, She was referencing what he had asked her.
Out in the snow, Gyomei had asked her what her motivation was. He had been harsh and brass only seeing him as lacking in her duties. He saw it as his way of questioning her decision to retire, A way to try and motivate her.
But he heard the words on the paper. The melancholy truth radiating inside him, [F/N] did her job for so long because she wanted to die. To try and find someone that could finally kill her, Her only motivation or point of existence was to end it.
It was heart-breaking, He shouldn't of been so harsh. Whatever motivation she spoke about became nothing but flakes in the blizzard as he listened on.
"I'm living a lie, Everyday I go to work as someone I'm not because of myself. It's pathetic. There isn't any meaning, I'm sorry for saying this but as these are my last words I feel like it's necessary."
Giyuu's lips curled into a deep frown, A bead of cold sweat rolling down the side of his forehead. The words on the note wasn't his but yet it resonated deep within him, He understood her words.
It was the hopeless feeling of impostor syndrome, One he had become so familiar with himself. It was the feeling of a large crowd cheering you on yet you did nothing to please them, A stolen joke told to their amusement.
He understood. The unworthy acclaim, The unjust attention. It was a sentiment he knew well so it only hit harder once she spoke again.
"The truth is its you. You were the only thing that made me feel like I had a family, Like I had my childhood, Like I was a normal person for once in my stupid little life. I adore you, Tsuri. I really do."
Mitsuri tried to hold her face as steady as possible. Her lip never quivered nor did her fingers shake while holding the paper. But even with knowing [F/N] was alive it felt hard to hold back the tears.
Her voice shook for only a second yet she settled it just as quick. She needed to get through the bad before she could speak the good. She decided to skip over a few parts however, Deciding that would be only for her to see.
Breathing in and out she continued.
"Please don't feel sad over me, I don't want that. I love you so so much and I know you probably don't feel the same. I'm sorry you had to put up with me, You deserved a better friend than me."
Muichiro's gaze was as cloudy as ever, Yet the mist that swirled around resembled more of a thunderstorm than it did an overcast day. He was never one to listen or focus at all yet the way his crystal blue focused in on the older woman made it clear he was very well interested.
[F/N], He never paid any attention to her at all. He never sought her out and usually ignored him however there were times they interacted, A head pat or a ruffle of his hair. A compliment on his sword skills or just a simple nod in the hallways.
It made him frown, He wouldn't get those small interactions again. He never felt much of anything but a small singe rose up in his chest. It.. It didn't make him feel good.
"If Shizuko ever finds out the truth, Tell him his big sister is sorry she couldn't be there for him and that I'm so proud of him for becoming a slayer."
Gyomei's eyelids rose, A sharp shock hitting him like a taser.
Shizuko, His Tsuguko.
It didn't make sense. His breath hitched in his lungs as he brought his head around to the focal point of the voice. Shizuko.. He was..?
"-[F/N] Fujimori"
Mitsuri stopped reading.
She took a deep breath in, The final stroke of ink had been spoken.
Mitsuri felt like she hadn't taken a breath in a long time as she lowered the piece of paper to gather the reactions from the room.
Everyone followed her head motion, All staring at her with unreadable expressions as everything that was read had been said. A melancholy and depressive fall, A sad and lonely final note. One that was unexpected entirely.
Shinobu looked over. The second time she had heard the letter's words as a small yet natural frown found its way on her face.
"Alright then.. That's [F/N]'s final note." Mitsuri said, Carefully folding up the paper of which rustles filled the silent void around her. She snaked it back into the pocket inside her haori, Settling her hands back onto her knee's.
"I.. I didn't know.. I.." Sanemi was the first to speak however his voice wasn't focused on anyone. It was a mindless mumble as his brain tried to process the information, Head shaking in disbelief as a small snarl curled up his lips.
"I can't believe it.. He seemed to be doing alright.. I.." Giyuu chimed in subconciously, Lips tightly pressed together as he scowled softly.
"Kanroji-san.. I'm so sorry." Iguro spoke, His mismatched eyes softening with the rush of guilt coming over him. He wasn't apologising to Mitsuri, He was apologising to [F/N]. His eyes shook and started to show bright specks under the daylight.
"I know, Iguro-san. But you don't need to apologise, Besides.. I'm not done with my news." Mitsuri comforted. Such a warm smile rising up on her face and shone like the sun looking at him.
The entire room raised an eyebrow or shaped a lip. Confusion manifesting onto their visage along with their sorrow.
Mitsuri turned back to the sombre room, Smile reappearing and adjusting back to normal as she spoke once more.
"Thankfully because of new information we've found out that while [F/N] meant to.. Die, The truth is that she didn't actually succeed.. The demon that was meant to kill her was infact Uppermoon one" Mitsuri said once more, Smile growing wider.
"[F/N] wasn't killed, Instead she was kidnapped by him. For what reason I have no idea why, I.. I'm still kinda figuring that part out so.." She finished trailing off as the words ran out.
Gyomei shook his head.
"So.. What your saying, Let me get this straight. Fujimori-san is [F/N].. She tried to kill herself.. Failed and then got kidnapped by Uppermoon one himself. Is that what your saying?" Gyomei asked.
"Basically.. yeah." Mitsuri answered with a nervous chuckle as she rubbed the back of her head.
"So.. What are you saying we should do..?" Muichiro inquired softly.
Mitsuri bit her lip.
"Right now I'm in the middle of trying to find any leads. I'm.. I'm only having a little bit of trouble but for now I'm just asking for your awareness. If you find anything or if you have any idea of where she is or… Just if you know anything at all please come talk to me." Mitsuri asked.
Her voice grew pleading, A break in her peppy façade that she didn't even bother to conceal anymore. Mitsuri had went back to the shrine ruins, The oh-so familiar village she had grown up in.
The only thing she found was a massacred inn, While it was disturbing and revolting in of its own it didn't have any leads at all. There were no witnesses nor were there any survivors, So her only lead was dead in the water.
"Thank you very much for listening, I-"
Mitsuri was cut off by the sound of a sliding shoji door, Her jaw shut in place. Heads snapped around to the new arrival as they came face to face with Lady Amane and two of her children.
She bowed down, Her children followed suit.
"I apologise for my late arrival.. Master Kagaya will not be attending today's meeting due to his poor health, So I have decided to substitute for him instead.." Amane called out cordially, Raising from her bow to observe the sullen room.
"I am sorry.. But did anything happen while I was away?" Amane asked as she noticed the atmosphere and viewed the faces of the Hashira in front of her.
Gyomei bowed slightly.
"No, Lady Ubuyashiki.. We are fine, But I thank you for your concern.." He called out. Amane looked over, Curiosity bubbling up but decided not to question it. It seemed touchy by the way Gyomei's voice was pronounced more than normal.
"I see.. Well then I suppose its time we start the meeting then, Shall we?" Amane asked. Sitting down on her knees at the head of the room, Her children following in turn to sit beside her.
Mitsuri sighed under her breath as the meeting started. How would she be able to find [F/N]? Knowing demons she could be anywhere, She wasn't even sure if she was alive.
The thought made her want to vomit. No.. Mitsuri couldn't think about it now, She was alive and she needed to save her.. But..
She'd need a lead soon or it would be impossible to find her..
☆♡☆
Walking out of the shrine, Akaza took in a deep breath as he went.
The weight of Akaza's footsteps made the dock below him depress with a creak, Almost as if it would break under him. However the rickety structure never gave in, Never shook nor did it sway. It just kept going, Unstable but standing.
The cool sea wind hit his face, His nose filled with the smell of salt and fresh lotus blooming from within the water below him. The rushing gusts of air came from somewhere deep within the black abyss surrounding him, Brushing past his skin with only a cold afterthought.
The sea below him rippled from his footsteps, The marine glowed a soft beryl with only lily pads and sea foliage to block it's light. It was an uncanny sight for the unadjusted, Which was someone Akaza was not as he walked along.
However he stopped. Paused in his tracks and frozen in place, But it wasn't from the cold air nor was it from fear. Instead it was a natural sense, Something he could near smell from a mile away.
Akaza turned around, Looking up towards the tall outside of the shrine.
"Come out, Whoever you are." He called out, Voice frostier than his surroundings as it echoed out into the abyss.
.
..
..
THUMP!
The sound of a body hitting the dock behind him reverberated, Akaza's eyes widened before he jerked his head around to meet the person standing there.
Only a metre away sat a boy in a crouched position, Akaza's lips turned into a snarl of that you'd see on a beast as he recognised the demon before him now.
From the black shaggy haircut and elven ears sticking out to the tigerish markings and slayer corps uniform. His sapphire obi and the hilt and flesh sword, All along with the snivelling little appearance he flaunted, Akaza knew who it was from the meeting.
"Hello, Akaza-dono!" Kaigaku called out. A snide little grin played at his grin and showed his small fangs pointing out, His eyebrows furrowed in a display of mockey. Akaza scoffed, This was a new attitude.
Respect the hierarchy, That's always what his master said. It was obvious he hadn't been listening to his superiors lessons and it made Akaza want to punch the arrogant smirk right off his face.
From what he had seen at the meeting he had always had his tail between his legs, Cowered at anyone superior. Was overall a boot-licker and suck up, It wasn't a respectable nature but it was far apart from the now cocky and egoistic tone he had in his voice.
"Upper six.. What the hell are you doing here?" Akaza spat out, Almost like a viper to a mongoose as he subtly puffed up his chest, Trying to look bigger.
"Bold of you to be asking that when you shouldn't be here at all!" Kaigaku rebutted with a trailing snicker. His weaselly smile growing as his gums were now bared to his superior, Yet he didn't treat him as such now.
Akaza shook his head and took another step forward, Continuing to walk away.
"Whatever.. If you want to keep your head I suggest you shut the hell up, I don't have any issue in severing it.." Akaza said as he walked by, His shoulder roughly brushing up against the younger boys as he went.
Kaigaku snickered as he went by him, Not shaking a single inch at his sentence.
"Take my head off? Not if you want my master to know what you've been up to." Kaigaku said, Head turning around with a predatory glint shining in the electric blue of his eyes.
Akaza froze in place.
"What..?" Akaza growled through gritted teeth. The sudden tension in his muscles creating veins across his body as he jerked his head over to meet Kaigaku's cat-like pupils.
"I've been here this entire time, I know about your conversation with that little human girl. I've known for weeks now and every interaction you've had with her." Kaigaku revealed. The glint in his eyes grew as he watched Akaza's jaw drop.
"You.. You've been here this entire time?!" Akaza yelled. His voice reverberating with his march as he turned back around to charge right over to Kaigaku.
In one swift movement Akaza had a hand around his throat, Kaigaku was extended into the air with his feet dangling a good foot off the ground. Akaza's teeth were bared like a rabid wolf as the grip on him tightened, Yet Kaigaku's grin never faltered a bit.
"Obviously.. My master had ordered me to stay when he wasn't around.. I've been watching your every move.. I don't know what you're doing with that girl but.. If you don't want me to tell number one himself right here.. Right now.. Then I suggest you back off.." Kaigaku choked out.
Akaza looked into his eyes, Searching for something. Some form of doubt or weakness bubbling up from within the pools of his irises.
But he came up empty.
Akaza hissed and dropped Kaigaku to the ground in a single move.
The younger boy hit the ground with a thud and broke into a few short wheezes on the dock. Akaza looked down at him with a scrutinizing glare, Angry and alarmed.
Kaigaku knew. Akaza hadn't sensed him, He didn't know how. Was he too focused on his training or was he caught up with mystery of [F/N] to pick up on his spirit? How long had he been spying on him, Sneaking around from the rooftops and prowling about the dark corners to pick up information?
"Speak, How much does he know?" Akaza demanded, The shadow cast over Kaigaku meant nothing to the boy. Propping himself up with a single hand Kaigaku steadied himself on the floor.
"Nothing. But I don't know, How much are you willing to keep it that way?" Kaigaku asked, Mocking him with a cocking of his head to the side and a pout that made Akaza feel like a joke.
"What do you want?" Akaza asked through grinding teeth and a clenched fist, His nose scrunched up in disgust as he looked down at the boy.
Kaigaku used the hand he propped up to push himself up, On his knees he stood up to meet Akaza's eyes. He was only an inch away, Nose jabbing into his face.
"I want absolutely nothing.. I just like to see the look on your face when it's me looking down on you for once.." Kaigaku whispered. An small exhale that danced through the rushing winds around them and make Akaza want to scream.
"When have I ever looked down on you, I don't even care nor do I actually talk to you. But when I do I show you the respect when needed, So how the hell am I looking down on you?" Akaza hissed lowly as he peered into his eyes, Both locked in a staring contest together.
Kaigaku scoffed.
"Oh, Let me rephrase… I just like to see the look on you high and mighties when it's me looking down on you all for once. Just because you give me the 'basic respect' when 'needed' doesn't mean you actually mean it." Kaigaku started with a sneer.
"I know how it actually is.. Your type just loves to look down on the likes of me. People like you just don't know what it's like to get off your high horse and see the real world for once.. I just want to see my control over you, To make you feel how I feel.." Kaigaku whispered, Face only a few inches away from Akaza.
Akaza slowly shook his head to and fro. He was in complete disbelief at his audacity, His boldness to even attempt to pull a stunt like this. Akaza wanted to argue, He wanted to crush his skull between his palm and remind him of their differing strength levels.
But he couldn't. Akaza was well aware that him and Kokushibo shared a sort of telepathic link due to the way Kaigaku was initiated. Akaza knew that if Kaigaku so pleased he could tell Kokushibo what he had been up to right here and right now.
Akaza knew Kokushibo wouldn't be as merciful, Why he had such an interest and a complicated relationship with the girl he referred to as his sister. But he knew it wouldn't end well.
"If you feel that way then why do you still suck up to Upper one? Is it because you don't have sufficient blackmail or are you just afraid of getting killed?" Akaza jabbed. A passive aggressive taunt that leaned in on the latter as he took a step back.
Kaigaku shook his head.
"Don't you dare compare yourself to him. My master knows my worth, He sees potential in me and doesn't look down on me like the rest of you." Kaigaku replied. Akaza gawked at him.
"Then if you like him so much why aren't you telling him any of this? I don't see why you haven't.." Akaza questioned.
"Well I haven't told him yet, Doesn't mean I won't. I will eventually, I just want to enjoy it.." Kaigaku replied casually as he started to pace dramatically back and forth along the dock, Emphasising the moment and soaking it in.
Akaza 'tched. He kept up his strong exterior on the outside but inside he felt a cold chill run down him, A freezing panic that made questions rush through him. How was he going to deal with this?
First it was the deal with [F/N]. Second it was Kaigaku, The unknown countdown ticking away above his head loomed over him. Akaza didn't want to be involved, So how did he end up waist deep in this mess?
"You've always been such a weaselly boy, You know that right?" Akaza spat, Scowling at the boy in a well conceded defeat. Though, Akaza didn't quite expect the chill that rose up Kaigaku's spine at the words.
"..Really? Do you want me to tell him?" Kaigaku taunted to which Akaza instantly shut his mouth in response, Not wanting to urge him on.
Kaigaku grinned.
"That's what I thought! Not looking so mighty now are you?" Kaigaku taunted as he started to walk past Akaza, Back towards the shrine to where he came from. He had a swagger in his step as, A kick as he walked by that looked like he owned where he stood on.
"Hold on. I want to you to answer one thing before you go." Akaza ordered. A tone in his voice that made Kaigaku stop and leisurely toss his head to the side to meet his, An arrogant yet curious glint as he waited for his question.
"What the hell does Kokushibo even want with the girl? Does he seriously think a human woman is his sister?" Akaza inquired as if it was just a casual question but the curiosity below shined more than the spark in his eyes.
Kaigaku paused to contemplate then looked back at him.
"I don't know, I'm not allowed to speak to her or anything. Just said that she's his sister and to keep her tracked and reported on. Doesn't matter though, He must have a reason the likes of you just can't grasp." Kaigaku stabbed once more, Shrugging before turning back around and continuing to walk.
Akaza didn't question any more, Just watched as the boy leaped back up onto the roof of the shrine and start to scale up its towering walls, All the way to the top until he was only a small splotch in his vision.
Once he finally disappeared Akaza yelled, Raising his fist and punching a hole through an unlit lantern lining the dock.
It shattered as soon as it made contact with his fist, Bits of bark and splinter flew of and landed into the water below as he breathed in and out.
Akaza's breath was laboured as he watched the destroyed lantern's parts float away in the ever changing waves of the water, Teeth bared at it as he imagined Kaigaku in its place. That brat, How could he dare do something like that to his superior.
Akaza was never one for the Hierarchy, It's only use was a measure of strength. Only that and the recognition from his master. But Akaza couldn't deny it made his blood boil and burn at the sheer disrespect from the younger kid.
At least he could confirm that [F/N]'s 'sibling story' was the truth though, But the added threat of Kaigaku made the scales tip and the future ahead seem as murky as the void surrounding him.
He turned back around and marched off down the docks. He decided to go train to metaphorically sleep on it, Get his mind cleared and think this over carefully. It was tricky waters he was steering in and he needed to plan this out.
Akaza sighed, How the hell was he going to figure this out?
☆♡☆
The warmer afternoon sunlight flooded the outskirts of the Ubuyashiki estate's garden, Giving the abundance of plants and floral life just the right amount of nourishment to flourish as much as they were.
Birds sung from within their nests, It was a nice change from the screaming silence and the tense remarks spoke from within the house. As much as she loved her co-workers, Mitsuri was happy she had gotten out of there.
She pranced down the stone pathway, A skip in her step as she went.
The meeting had finally ended with the words of Lady Amane slipping away from her, Much more pressing thoughts prodding away at her.
The letter was tucked comfortably within her haori, Reading it out loud was more difficult than she had been expecting. Mitsuri thought she could deal with it, The weeks she had been mourning she had read it over and over non-stop. Committing it to memory.
Even so her breath shook the entire time, Even then she couldn't stop the inevitable turn in her stomach. It wasn't as bad as the first or the next few hundred that came after it though, That she was glad for.
Mitsuri knew once she finally found [F/N] and got her out of whatever hell she was suffering through that they would need to have a talk, Mitsuri knew that they'd need to figure it out and she was more than willing to do so.
Though how she would even get to her in the first place was a complete mystery. When she found the massacred inn and the bodies strewn about the place she had hoped that this would be the lead that set her on her trail.
But as dreaded it came up as a bust, Mitsuri had no more ideas or clues to set her down her path. A small frown appeared on her face, One that looked unfitting of a woman like her. Every second with [F/N] gone the chances increase of not finding her, And that ached hard.
Mitsuri was on the clock, She had no time to waste or spend doing what she loved. The hot springs, Late night feasts and cooking the food she loved so much. Mitsuri would need to set it aside for now.
Skipping along the trail the pep she had started to dim, But it was instantly brought back by with artificially made effort. Mitsuri held her head high with her smile widening more, She needed to look on the positive side, Stay optimistic and hopefully everything will be fine.
"Kanroji-san.."
A voice called out from behind her, A deep and sorrowful voice she recognised as she turned around to meet him.
"Himejima-san! Great to see you, I loved your input on the meeting today!" Mitsuri squealed. An over-the-top greeting she kept up along with her smile as she greeted the behemoth of a man standing only a metre away from her on the path.
"Thank you.. It is always nice to communicate with such enthusiasm.." Gyomei replied. Hands pressed together with tears streaming down his cheeks he nodded respectfully towards her general direction.
"Did you need anything? I was about to go back to the shrine ruins for another search around if you want to come with." Mitsuri offered, Tilting her head to the side as her signature blush formed on her cheeks.
Gyomei hummed.
"Unfortunately I cannot as I have been summoned on a mission.. However I have put that aside for now as I wish to have a word with you.." He said, Stepping forward only a single foot.
"Oh.. I'm guessing it's about the letter earlier then!" Mitsuri laughed nervously, Rubbing the back of her head with a sheepish smile plastered onto her face. "I'm sorry if it came off a little too harsh, I really need to know how to hold my tongue!"
"It's fine.. I believe you said it very well.. It shed a lot of light on unknown truths which if I am being honest baffle me to this very moment but.. I have came here about a few specific things actually.. Mostly about the contents of the letter.." Gyomei explained as he rattled his beads.
Mitsuri quirked her lips, Only for a second. She had a feeling this was going to happen, Maybe it was best if she hadn't said that last line, But there was no taking it back and she supposed Gyomei had a right to know.
"Alright then! Feel free to ask away, I don't mind." Mitsuri agreed.
"Thank you, Kanroji-san.." Gyomei nodded in appreciation. "First of all I would like to ask about the last part of the letter.. There was a certain line that involved one of my Tsuguko.. Shizuko Himejima.. I would like to inquire about that."
Mitsuri sighed, There it is. Even though she knew it was coming, Mitsuri had no proper idea on how to say it to him. But she tried anyway, He deserved to know.
"Right.. So, Yeah.. You heard right. [F/N] and Shizuko-san are both related, [F/N] is his older sister. I.. She wanted it to be kept a secret. Only me and her actually knew, Shizuko has no idea.." Mitsuri explained with a noticeable dip in her attitude, Frown becoming prominent again.
Gyomei's eyebrows knitted together. It didn't make sense. He had known Shizuko since he was a toddler, When he stumbled in his walk and babbled in-between sentences. The timeline was knotted and it puzzled him to no degree.
"I understand. If I may ask then why had it been kept from him as well as me, I have known the child since before I had became a slayer and I am a bit confused as to why he had been with me and not her.." Gyomei inquired.
Mitsuri inhaled, Humming a bit as she thought over her words.
"Well.. I don't want to say much, It's [F/N]'s story and I don't want to tell it for her but.. Shizuko means a lot to her. [F/N] made the choice to keep her and Shizuko apart and for her own reasons wanted to keep it that way." Mitsuri started.
"They didn't have the best living situation growing up, I don't know much about it because that was before I met her at all. I only know bits and pieces but what she told me is that she did it for his own good, What that means I don't know." Mitsuri finished.
Mitsuri sighed. She wished she knew more herself, Even though [F/N] and her had been friends for most of their lives she didn't know what happened before their friendship. Before [F/N] had a roof over her head and had her younger brother with her.
She never wanted to pressure her for more information though, It only came out in late night drinking sessions and off-handed comments. Mitsuri only had a half-finished puzzle of the events.
"I.. I see." Gyomei muttered under his breath. "I've known the boy since he came into my temple as an orphan.. I've raised him for years now. If I knew about the situation.." He trailed off, His voice turning into that of a whisper.
Gyomei remembered it well. The day the boy had been dropped off at the doorstep of the temple he resided in. Gyomei had taken him in and brought him up along with the other orphans he considered family, Remembered him being such a happy child.
It made sense now. Shizuko back then had always been a high-spirited child, Had always had something to say and had talked on about an older sister. Gyomei at the time had brushed it off, His younger self believing that she had abandoned him similar to some of the other kids.
However Gyomei had near-forgotten about it now. Probably because of what happened to him during the accident, Shizuko didn't speak much after that. His spirits lowering and the smile he wore cringing into a permanent frown, A shocked expression with a wide eyed scowl.
He never did speak about back then nowadays, Probably because he had forgotten entirely. It was a shame, Yet now that Gyomei remembered everything suddenly became much more clear yet so murky at the same time.
Mitsuri shook her head.
"Please.. Himejima-san. I'm begging you to not tell him, At least not until the time is right." Mitsuri pleaded, Her tone dripping with a sincerity and only the purest of intentions as she spoke to him.
Gyomei paused, Pondering over her words and considering them with great care.
"Alright then.. But keeping lies is against my morals and good conscious, If he does ask about anything pertaining to this then I will not lie to him.. And I do hope you tell him in due time, Kanroji-san" Gyomei agreed, Nodding once.
Mitsuri sighed in relief. Her body relaxing with her shoulders as the smile reappeared on her face, A tiny relaxed grin.
"Thank you, Himejima-san! You don't know how much this means to me, To [F/N] too.." Mitsuri said full of gratitude as she thanked him. It went better than she thought and Gyomei would keep his mouth shut for the most part, That was good for her.
Gyomei nodded
"And yes.. To [F/N]. While I am unable to help out the majority of the time I am deeply remorseful for the way I have spoken to her.. Not just me but the rest of the Hashira too. In my spare time I will try to find leads of my own.. And if you at all come across anything then I ask that you inform me first to help, It is the least I can do.." Gyomei said.
His voice was full of apology, More so than usual. It was a deep reverberating sort of regret that was rare to find and it just made it all the more impactful to Mitsuri as she nodded, Trying to hold back the tears forming in her eyes.
"Thank you so much.. I.. If I find anything at all I'll let you know, It means a lot for you to say that and I hope that the rest of our friends truly do feel that way too." Mitsuri bowed in a deep respect, Low and cordial before him as she grinned ear to ear in a melancholy joy.
"It is of no issue.. I continue to pray for [F/N]'s good health and for your success in finding her. Good luck, Kanroji-san.." Gyomei bowed back, His senses telling him to do so as he lifted back up and turned away.
"Goodbye, Himejima-san!" Mitsuri called out to him as he walked off along the stone pathway.
And once he left entirely she was left alone to the sunlight shower in the garden, Alone with the insects and birds and the rustling of leaves. The warmth sinking into her skin and the soft breeze flowing through the watermelon drizzle in her hair.
It was almost enough to dry her tears, Though for once in weeks they weren't of sadness but instead of a ruminating joy. Her heart sung in happiness and her eyes filled with such a blossoming light that it could rival the sun itself.
There was hope, There was a unity and harmony between her and the rest of her colleagues. Both Shinobu and now Gyomei were both on her side, The rest were now aware of what happened.
It was difficult to say but she got over it. Throughout the heavy rainstorm it was hard to see but once the clouds cleared was nice at the end of the rainbow, There was hope and something she could hold onto like her mothers hand.
Turning around she began her skip down the rocky pathway once more. Mitsuri hummed a happy tune as she went and her blush bloomed brighter than the orchids and petunias that blossomed within the shrubbery.
Mitsuri made sure to hold on tight, To never let go and keep it close to her. She'd find [F/N], She knew she would.
It was only a matter of time until a lead would rear it's head.
It was only a matter of time until Mitsuri reunited with [F/N] once again.
Next Chapter
#yandere#yandere x reader#tw yandere#moodboard#yandere x you#demon slayer#demon slayer kimetsu no yaiba#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#demon slayer x reader#mitsuri kanroji#kimestu no yaiba#kokushibo#kokushibo x reader#yandere kokushibo#yandere kokushibo x reader#yandere platonic kokushibo#yandere platonic#kokushibo x you#upper moons#kokushibo x y/n#kokushibo headcanons#kny mitsuri#demon slayer mitsuri#shinobu kocho#demon slayer shinobu#kny shinobu#mitsuri#kocho shinobu#kny x you
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WELCOME TO THE SOTBAW MASTERPOST!!!!
sotbaw is short for the spawn of the black and white. it follows kai drew, in her adventures being adopted and raised by the lords in black.
KAI DREW IS NOT MY CHARACTER. kai belongs solely to @pastriibunz and her custody has not transferred to me outside of this series.
kais age and condition fluctuate. sometimes shes dead, sometimes not. you'll know.
each lord has "papa" tacked onto their name. papa wiggly, papa tinky, papa pokey, papa blinky, and papa nibbly. nibbly is also called mama nibbly on occasion.
IN CURRENT CRONOLOGICAL ORDER THEY ARE: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,9,10,8,11,12,13.
pokey, blinky, tinky, nibbly, wiggly, webby, kai, paul, emma.
FICS-
number- title | song credit | lyrics you'll find in the fic | short explanation
1- i forgot my name again. | devil town - cavetown | "i still get a little scared of something new, but i feel a little safer when i'm with you." | kai, at 15, discovering that shes not quite as alone as she thought.
2- i truly am my parents child. | family line - conan gray | "i can run, but i can't hide, from my family line." | kai, at 17, fighting for what she wants.
3- deserves the same judgement. | average - sushi soucy | "you've got the skills of an idiot, who got too much praise." | blinky's thoughts and feelings after losing his daughter.
4- i'm losing on their side. | i bet on losing dogs - mitski | "my baby, my baby.. you're my baby, say it to me." | pokey's thoughts and feelings after losing his daughter.
5- make me love myself, so that i might love you. | saint bernard - lincoln | "when i am dead i wont join their ranks, because they are both holy and free." | tinky's thoughts and feelings after losing his daughter.
6- apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime | goodbye - bo burnham | "am i going crazy? would i even know? am i right back where i started fourteen years ago?" | nibbly's thoughts and feelings after losing his daughter.
7- you're scaring us and all of us- some of us- love you. | achilles come down - gang of youths | "soldier on achilles, achilles come down, won't you get up off, get up off the roof?" | wiggly's thoughts and feelings after losing his daughter.
8- what if i told you i made it? | inevitable - the guy who didn't like musicals | "what if i told you a story, that settled all the dust? i'm still the man you trust. it's inevitable, for us." | pokey and kai, meeting one last time in the starlight theater.
9- i won't let go of your hand | two birds - regina spektor | "say that they're always gonna stay together, but ones never going to let go of that wire." | UNRELEASED
10- you'll never settle any of your scores | little lion man - mumford & sons | "take all the courage you have left, and waste it in fixing all the problems that you made in your own head." | UNRELEASED
11- it's so cold and i don't know where. | another love - tom odell | "so i'll use my voice, i'll be so fucking rude, words, they always win, but i know i'll lose." | UNRELEASED
12- i wanna be your left hand man | riptide - vance joy | "i love you, when you're singing that song and i've got a lump in my throat 'cause you're gonna sing the words wrong." | UNRELEASED
13- you're skin, oh yeah you're skin and bones | yellow - coldplay | "its true, look how they shine for you. look how they shine. look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and all the things that you do." | UNRELEASED
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So I've been replaying Hades for the past couple of days and I've started thinking about the concept of half gods because of Achilles and I have realized that while tragic heroes fucked over by fate are great we also need to explore how fucking weird a half god would probably be to have around
Cuz like, gods are probably very very different to us humans and their blood would run fairly strong within their half mortal offspring and there's a lot of room to play around with how that manifests. Plus, we all know that the gods are very volatile and can go through the entire spectrum of emotions within like 10 seconds so that's fun too
Like, imagine you're Peleus, king of Phthia. Your son is two years old now, he looks like he's at least five. Yesterday he debated your advisors on politics and made them run from the room crying. Last week he wrote his second full length comedy. Afterwards he threw a tantrum cuz he couldn't reach the higher shelves in the library that probably traumatized the entire staff before he charmed them into fawning over him again. Thetis says this is normal.
You're Peleus, king of Phthia, and you adore your now ten year old son but you're also very out of your depth. You can't let him play with kids his age cuz human age works differently than his and they're just too young, but you also can't put him together with people on his intellectual level cuz you don't want to deal with the fallout of when someone inevitably annoys him too much. There's still a few broken chairs from last time lying around. That boy won't sit still for 10 seconds, the mortal world is too boring and slow for him. You're still trying to find the combat instructor he scared away two weeks ago. Thetis says this is also normal.
You're Peleus, king of Phthia, and your old Argonaut buddy Menoetius just showed up with his son, asking for help. Your own son is now twelve years old and definitely almost fully grown. Last week he reorganized the entire library out of boredom and then put it back to how it was again. No one wants to spar with him anymore, he's going to snap soon. But here's Menoetius with his son Patroclus who seems to have a good head on his shoulders, recent accident notwithstanding. You can't just take in someone wanted for murder without good reasons...but Achilles is going to claw his way through the walls at this rate. He refused being a suitor for Helen recently, lectured you on outdated marriage practices for two hours and then went to visit his mother for a month. You can't handle him, no matter how much you love him. But Patroclus gives off the impression that he could. You can work with this.
You're Peleus, king of Phthia, and your son is now sixteen and no longer growing. He's also found someone who can keep up with his energy with fond understanding and a calming hand where necessary. You're pretty proud of yourself for making Patroclus do this cuz it's not just anger, boredom and energy that Achilles has to divine levels. If you didn't know better you'd think Patroclus was the half god the way your son seems to worship the ground he walks on. He is a good influence on your son, one could almost be fooled into thinking he's just a normal human when they're together. You've never seen Achilles smile that much.
Maybe now Phthia will know some peace...
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Achilles Come Down|| T.Zegras
A/n hi hi loves! It’s been awhileeee but I’m backkkkk. Here’s a little fic based on the song “Achilles Come Down”. It’s also my first writing for Z and ofc it’s angst.
Warning:Z is in the roof, panic, fear, talk about therapy, whole lotta crying. Don’t read if you can’t handle stress!!! I love y’all.
Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down. Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you.
“Trevor pick up the phone!” You yelled at your screen.
God, you were scared. It wasn’t like your boyfriend to miss his post-game call. Even after such a series of losses. He’s normally so talkative, easy-going, and he didn’t let things like the press or his performance affect things at home.
And yet, you are still 3 hours post game with no call. It was well after midnight, you knew he’d be home soon. With the anxiety you felt, you couldn’t help but have a few tears slip down your face. You cried until sleep came and took you into its clutches.
You didn’t know how long it had been when you woke up to a very distressed Jamie shaking you.
“Y/n get up! Trevor’s on the roof. And he’s not doing too good.”
The two of you ran to the front yard. You didn’t care about the chilly night air running over your exposed arms and legs. The blood and panic pumping through you had numbed you.
Only as Trevor paced over had you decided to check your phone. It was just after 6 a.m. and you only had one text from Trevor…an apology.
“Trev! What’s wrong? Can you come down and talk to us?” You called, desperately.
“Yea Trev, come down bud.” Jamie pleaded with you.
“We love you baby. Come on down.”
The fluffy-haired boy just hung his head.
Just humor us, Achilles, Achilles, come down. Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
By now, your heart was pumping three times too fast. Jamie’s hand on your shoulder was the only thing keeping you upright.
All you wanted to know was what had driven Trevor, the sweetest guy you know, to act so irrational.
“Z, please. Just come down. We can get some rest and talk about this when you feel better.”
“I-I can’t!”
You crave the applause yet hate the attention–then miss it, your act is a ruse.
The boy stood on the edge of the building, his hands gripping the ends of his hair. Tears poured down in fat droplets over his rosy cheeks.
“Baby, talk to me.” You called.
“E-everyone needs me! They need me to be happy, to be the face of the team–and I can’t live up to that. What about how I feel when I want to disappear? What if I don’t want to be THE Trevor Zegras, what then?”
You paused. Had he really felt like this the entire time? You glanced over at Jamie, and he was looking back at you. He could relate to the hockey side better than you could.
So the darker-haired boy stepped forward looking upwards to his best friend.
“I get it bud. We can talk to coach, get a you a therapist or a break. But this–this isn’t the way to do things. You’re scaring y/n, and you’re scaring me.”
Trevor’s eyes finally met yours. He looked at you with such pain, you felt your heart crack.
Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down. Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
“Honey, please.”
It was all you could beg before tears complete fell in rivers. Your vision was blurry and you were shaking while leaning into Jamie.
A few moments later you were standing clutching a sobbing Trevor. Jamie’s arms wrapped around the both of you. There were so many tears. So many things left unsaid.
All you could think of was how grateful you were for the two boys. You had never seen before exactly how much things could add up and take a toll.
No words were said as the three of you parted, you gave Jamie one last hug and whispered how you could take Trevor for the night but the three of you would talk in the morning.
With that, you brought Trevor to your bed and lulled the restless boy to sleep.
#send in requests#send anything#ally loves hockey#trevor zegras#trevor zegras x reader#nhl imagine#nhl blurb#nhl angst#ally loves angst
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Achilles Heel
2341 Words, Loki x reader, fem/afab reader, nothing but “you” used, though.
You nervously picked at the side of your white gown. Frigga caught your gaze and you stopped yourself from pulling at your wedding dress. She smiled warmly and walked over to you, taking your hand gently.
“You’ll be okay, y/n. I remember my wedding day, the bundle of nerves I was, too.”
“Thanks, I’m just-“ you took a steadying breath, “really emotional. Nervous, happy, exciting, and I know I want to do this. I really, really, want this. But I’m just…” you trailed.
“It’s alright, dear.” She patted your shoulder.
You smiled with her and adjusted your veil again, preparing to walk down the isle. Frigga was walking you instead of a father, because you were an orphan.
It was sad you didn’t have any parents, and you felt a small tug at your heart when you thought about what could have been. However, spiraling thoughts were quickly interrupted by happy ones of the family you had.
The avengers had taken you in, and they were all seated in rows to watch you wedding. Loki, your soon-to-be husband, was waiting for you through the doors to the aisle.
“You ready?” Natasha spoke, puking her head through the door. You gave a thumbs up and a shaky breath, the looked to Frigga.
“Come here, dear.”
She took your forearm in a soft grasp, and the doors opened wide. You walked down the aisle with Frigga, looking for the eyes of your husband.
You met his eyes with joyful tears creeping into his gaze. His face was so full of love, and he kept your gaze until you were at the alter.
“Hello, love.” He spoke in your mind. You gave him a small wave with your bouquet, then faced the priest. The vows were said tearfully, and you kissed Loki passionately. He held you up and your arms wrapped behind his neck, and when you parted, you both smiled and laughed, finally husband and wife.
You went to the reception later and had your dance. However, instead of an Asgardian waltz, you had requested something different. It was one of your favorite songs, and to you, it held much more depth than any other song.
The music started, and Loki smirked as he took your hand. You smiled and stood in line with him, his hand low on your side.
Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you
Achilles, it's not much but there's proof
Twelve Years Ago- Avengers Tower
“I’m done! Fuck all of this!” You yelled, throwing down your whiskey glass on the roof.
It shattered and bits of the glass leaned on your feet. They were dangling off the edge of the tower, daring fate to do it’s job. You were numb and tired of living. Tired of waking up each day empty. Sick of feeling nothing but sad or lonely, sick of saving the world when you weren’t even strong enough to save yourself.
“Y/n l/n! Get down from there now!”
Tony yelled and was on joined by the other members. Each one of them pleaded for you to think and stop, but no one dared to try and stop you. Everyone knew it would’ve made things worse, but still, it hurt to be completely helpless. You pretended to not here them and jumped headfirst into traffic without a care.
The rush in your stomach made you feel weightless, but you didn’t feel the hard ground hot you and shatter your bones. Instead, you hovered above the ground mere inches, as if the universe wouldn’t let you die. You sobbed hours after the team rushed you back to your room, upset that you didn’t feel the burning sensation of broken bones, of bleeding out. You were sad you still had to live.
You crazy-assed cosmonaut, remember your virtue
Redemption lies plainly in truth
Just humor us, Achilles, Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken
Remember the pact of our youth
Five Years Ago-Asgard
“Are you alright, love?” Loki asked, smiling but also worried. You had fallen off your mare and were now in the grass, surely cover in mud.
“Yes, I’m okay. Just uncomfortable.”
He sighed in relief and helped you up.
“You did take quite a fall, are you sure you’re well?”
You laughed and kissed his nose lightly.
“I’m fine, I’ve got practicality an immortal being. Asgardian and all.” You said.
He nodded and walked you over to your mare, tying her to the side of his own horse.
“I still worry.” He said softly.
He gave you a leg up to his stallion and then took his own seat.
“I know you do, but I’m alright.” You wrapped your arms around his torso and he trotted back to the stables, attached to the palace.
Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping
Since there is no me without you
Soldier on, Achilles, Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
Loathe the way they light candles in Rome
But love the sweet air of the votives
Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone
Engage with the pain as a motive
Today, of all days, see
How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above
Seven Years Ago- Earth, New York, Central Park
“I’m just so…drained.” You sighed and slumped into Loki’s shoulder. You both were seated at Central Park, watching the autumn leaves fall to the ground lightly.
He rubbed your shoulder and looked at the trees, taking time before responding.
“Well, it’s okay if you need a break from work, and if you need some time to do something distracting, or to be alone, that’s also okay. I’m here if you need me, love.” He kissed your head lightly and you a sat up.
“What did I ever do to have you in my life?”
He smiled and took your hand, and you both just sat and watched the leaves fall, not needing anything else said.
Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, jump now
You are absent of cause or excuse
So self-indulgent and self-referential
No audience could ever want you
You crave the applause yet hate the attention
Then miss it, your act is a ruse
It is empty, Achilles, so end it all now
It's a pointless resistance for you
Five Years Ago- Asgard
The dark swirled in your head again. You couldn’t stop it, no matter what you did. You pulled at your hair and hit at your legs out of frustration, and you didn’t even notice when the sobs started. You heaved deeply for breath, and curled into a ball on the floor.
“Here, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He called to you. You hadn’t even heard him walk in, but he was here now, on the floor holding you.
“Breath with me, so we can talk. Okay?” He asked. You nodded and listened to his breaths, then copied him. You finally caught your breath and relaxed, sitting up and slumping against Loki.
You were so tired now, and you felt his arms wrap around you gently.
“Do you want me to ask questions instead?”
You nodded again, afraid to hear how hoarse your voice was . It might’ve been hours you had cried alone, you didn’t know. You kissed the top of your head and asked about what happened, and you slowly grew more sane.
Achilles, Achilles, just put down the bottle
Don't listen to what you've consumed
It's chaos, confusion and wholly unworthy
Of feeding and it's wholly untrue
You may feel no purpose nor a point for existing
It's all just conjecture and gloom
And there may not be meaning, so find one and seize it
Do not waste yourself on this roof
Present-Asgard
Loki and you spun around the decorated ballroom, holding each other close. He leaned near your ear and whispered.
“You’re half my soul, as the poets say.”
You blushed and kissed his neck so slightly, because you didn’t reach his lips. No one else saw the slight moment, but you and Loki knew, and it was enough.
Hear those bells ring deep in the soul
Chiming away for a moment
Feel your breath course frankly below
And see life as a worthy opponent
Today, of all days, see
How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above
Three Years Ago- Asgard
You sat on Lokis balcony with him, watching the sunset below the horizon. The sky ebbed an elegant crimson, which poured into the clouds. You held his hand and his heart in that moment, as he yours. You had been good lately, like a second life had started. He had helped bring you out of something so dark, and you had helped him from a similar area of rage.
You both carried so much anger and hurt, but you had seen something in the other that didn’t let you give up on them. Now, you both had healed over years of hurt and were able to feel warm sunlight drift into dusk, holding each other close. He leaned in to kissed you gently, right as the sun slinked behind the clouds, leaving the sky dark.
“I love you.”
Crowned by an overture bold and beyond
Ah, it's more courageous to overcome
Zip I have to go, bye!
You want the acclaim, the mother of mothers (it's not worth it, Achilles)
More poignant than fame or the taste of another (don't listen, Achilles)
But be real and just jump, you dense motherfucker (you're worth more, Achilles)
You will not be more than a rat in the gutter (so much more than a rat)
One Year Ago- Avengers Tower
You stood near the edge of the roof, watching all the people below. Memories of wanting to jump and jumping from the very same spot still haunted you, but now all you saw was a roof. No longer an escape, or a fear, or a gateway to unlocking something inside you. You watched the clear night sky from your spot, and you remembered the glass shards that had been in your position many lifetimes ago.
“Y/n? Is that you?”
“Yeah.” You responded to Loki without looking away from the sky. He went and stood beside you, and you reached for his hand. He smiled and grasped yours firmly, then gave you a light kiss on the cheek.
“Do you remember your first week here? After New York?”
He looked faraway as he replied.
“I do. I remember that cell, and how cold everything was. But-“ he faced you, “I also remember a thin, sickly looking woman who spent time with me, and saw me as a person who had been taken advantage of, not a monster.”
You smiled at his description of you, as it was sadly accurate. You had been unwell after your many attempts, and Loki was a good distraction at the time.
“Do you know how much you helped me, even as just a distraction? For the first weeks, I wasn’t even very fond of you.”
You laughed while remembering what a grumpy, cold exterior Loki had put on in those days. You looked to him again and couldn’t recognize that scared man any longer.
Now, he was full of life, as were you. He looked to you and smiled warmly, then pulled you into an embrace. Noe, that rooftop wasn’t a haunt. Not with him by your side.
You want my opinion, my opinion you've got (no one asked your opinion)
You asked for my counsel, I gave you my thoughts (no one asked for your thoughts)
Be done with this now and jump off the roof (be done with this now and get off the roof)
Can you hear me, Achilles? I'm talking to you
I'm talking to you
I'm talking to you
I'm talking to you
Achilles, come down
Achilles, come down
One Year Ago- Asgard
“Is this the book you told me about?”
“Yes, but also the sequel. I have it somewhere here.” He replied, searching his bookshelf. You sat on his bed and flipped through the first book while he searched for the sequel.
“Found it!” He said triumphantly, and walked to where you were. He sat next to you and handed you the book.
“And you said you had something else?”
He nodded and you listened to him talk about Anton book series he was reading. You gazed at his face while he talked. He was so passionate and excited, and you loved listening to him ramble.
“Is something wrong?” He asked softly, you snapped from your trance and shook your head, smoothing a piece of his hair back behind his ear.
“Nothing, Lokes. I just love listening to you talk.” You have his a kissed and he took your hand. Your engagement bands clinked together, and you smiled as you remembered that he was your fiancé.
Throw yourself into the unknown
With pace and a fury defiant
Clothe yourself in beauty untold
And see life as a means to a triumph
Today, of all days, see
How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above
Crowned by an overture bold and beyond
Ah, it's more courageous to overcome
Present-Asgard
The singer and Orchestra finished playing, and you slowed your dance with Loki. The crowed cheered when your first waltz was over, and you looked into your husband’s eyes. He gazed in your own and smiled, leaning in for a deep kiss. It was a day to remember, indeed.
“You know I love that song.” You said when you parted.
“Almost as much as I love you.”
You teased. He laughed and you kissed him again, adding another memory to your favorite song.
#marvel#loki laufeyson#loki x reader#loki x you#loki fanfiction#loki fluff#loki angst#loki#wedding fic#the avengers
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Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down.
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you -
Achilles, it's not much but there's proof.
Bonus:
#the sandman#dream of the endless#netflix the sandman#lord morpheus#the sandman comics spoilers#tw suicide#hob gadling#delirium of the endless#the sandman nuala#matthew the raven#death of the endless#the sandman lucienne#the corinthian#achilles come down
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Fandom song animatic tournament: Bracket 2 Side A Round 2
Achilles Come Down ([Blank] Come Down) - Gang Of Youths
"Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you
Achilles, it's not much but there's proof"
My R ([Blank]'s R) - KurageP (Cover by Rachie)
"Just as I was about to take my shoes
Off of the rooftop, there I see
A girl with braided hair here before me
Despite myself, I go and scream
'Hey, don't do it, please!' "
Remember that we're voting on how Iconic they are for ANIMATICS, not for the song itself. In order to make things fair, the tone and mood of the song should not affect how iconic it is (for example, a serious song should not be considered more iconic than a joke song just because it's serious)
Propaganda and animatic links of the songs under the cut:
Achilles Come Down - Gang Of Youths
Propaganda:
No Propaganda Submitted
Animatics with the song:
DSMP Tommy Animatic
DSMP Wilbur Animatic
Unus Annus
BNHA
Rain World
My R ([Blank]'s R) - KurageP
Propaganda:
I cant explain this one other than i just remember seeing it a whole whole lot
CMONNNNNNN THIS IS THE MOST ICONIC SONG POSSIBLE FOR AN ANIMATIC ITS EVERYWHERE also a banger
my r is such an iconic song for animatics, there are so many different interpretations of the song and it’s so lovely to see all of them in different animatics across different videos not to mention the comment sections usually have like essays of in depth analysis which is so good bro also it’s so catchy my r sweep!!!!!
Animatics with the song:
Mystic Messenger
Heathers
DSMP Tubbo Animatic
OMORI
Karmaland Evil Luzu Animatic
Please be cautious and read the title, description and warning cards on the animatic videos if you decide to watch them. If you've got specific triggers I'd recommend even more caution when watching animatics of fandoms you don't know, since sometimes canon-typical themes don't get warnings.
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Cellbit, Cellbit, Cellbit, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you
Cellbit, it's not much but there's proof
You crazy-assed cosmonaut, remember your virtue
Redemption lies plainly in truth
Just humor us, Cellbit, Cellbit, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
——
Cellbit, Cellbit, Cellbit, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken
Remember the pact of our youth
Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping
Since there is no me without you
Soldier on, Cellbit, Cellbit, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
Loathe the way they light candles in Rome
But love the sweet air of the votives
Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone
Engage with the pain as a motive
Today, of all days, see
How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above
——
Forever, Forever, Forever, jump now
You are absent of cause or excuse
So self-indulgent and self-referential
No audience could ever want you
You crave the applause yet hate the attention
Then miss it, your act is a ruse
It is empty, Forever, so end it all now
It's a pointless resistance for you
——
Forever, Forever, just put down the bottle
Don't listen to what you've consumed
It's chaos, confusion and wholly unworthy
Of feeding and it's wholly untrue
You may feel no purpose nor a point for existing
It's all just conjecture and gloom
And there may not be meaning, so find one and seize it
Do not waste yourself on this roof
Hear those bells ring deep in the soul
Chiming away for a moment
Feel your breath course frankly below
And see life as a worthy opponent
Today, of all days, see
How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above
Crowned by an overture bold and beyond
Ah, it's more courageous to overcome
——
(Song: Achilles come down by gang of youths)
(In which Cellbit is comforted by his husband and others as he starts tear at the seams because of his double life
~
Tubbo meanwhile uses his past experiences to save Forever from himself)
#qsmp#qsmp cellbit#qsmp forever#qsmp roier#qsmp tubbo#the third verse is specifically how forever thinks Bad sees him now#by past experience I mean tubbo as l’manburg president#Look me in the eyes and tell me there are no similarities between QSMP Forever’s presidency and DSMP Tubbo’s presidency
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You're scaring us, and all of us, some of us love you
Achilles, it's not much but there's proof
#yes i did finish reading the song of achilles yesterday why do you ask#this was meant to be vrisrezi art but ended up being its own thing#anyway#vriska#vriska serket#homestuck#sapir draws
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Achilles Come Down
Bakugo Katsuki X gn! Reader
This deals with a super-serious topic, but it's self-indulgent. I'm feeling better than I was in my last fic belive it or not. If you need help, or if you feel like it's hopeless, please reach out to someone. This is based of the song 'Achilles Come Down'.
Link to the Song: https://youtu.be/T_V76Dm42bY
Summary: Reader is going to jump, Bakugo talks her down.
Pairing: Pro! Bakugo Katsuki X gn! Reader
Warnings: Deals very heavily in Suicide, Do not read if it will trigger you. Attempted suicide, does not go through with it. Mentions of death. Angst.
Word Count: 1,826
Masterlist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you
Achilles, it's not much but there's proof
You crazy-assed cosmonaut, remember your virtue
Redemption lies plainly in truth
Just humor us, Achilles, Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?”
His voice was so sweet, so gentle, trying to coax you down from the ledge. You on one building, him on another just parallel. Police car lights flashing up the buildings and reflecting on the both of you. Your friends 50 floors below on the ground. You’d never seen Dynamight so desperate, your heart would break for him if you knew it weren’t because of you. How had this become so complicated?
“Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken
Remember the pact of our youth
Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping
Since there is no me without you”
His threat hung heavy in the air, causing you to falter. You had been smitten with Bakugo since you were little, and then a crush bloomed right before you when you were in the same class at UA. He had hardly expected to see you, since the last time he had seen you was when you were paralyzed by the car accident. It wasn’t immediate friendship, but you’d quickly become close with the rest of the Bakusquad and the two of you had grown closer. You’d started dating before graduation and through being sidekicks at different agencies. When he told you that he and Kirishima were creating an agency and asked you to be part of it, you’d accepted immediately.
During your first official patrol with Dynamight, you made a pact with him that no matter what, you’d always be on each other’s side. You’d since moved in together spending time with each other and with your mutual friends. Life was a hero’s paradise until the accident.
“Soldier on, Achilles, Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone
Engage with the pain as a motive
Today, of all days, see
How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above”
He was pleading now, his voice shaking. Tears welling in his eyes. It broke your heart, but your guilt was heavier. He was offering you forgiveness, a second chance because everyone makes mistakes. You couldn’t be forgiven though. You didn’t really want to jump, you wanted to call for help, to beg Dynamight to save you. To ask any of the bystanders below to help you. You knew deep down that this emotion wasn’t yours, but the effect of the man behind you. His quirk amplifying and intensifying your guilt and agony over your mistake until you couldn’t bear it anymore. Jumping was the only way to get rid of these effects, the only way to rid yourself of this guilt that was literally drowning you. Even as you were fighting for your life, even as close as Dynamight was, the man was right behind you, whispering in your ear.
“Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, jump now
You are absent of cause or excuse
So self-indulgent and self-referential
No audience could ever want you
You crave the applause yet hate the attention
Then miss it, your act is a ruse
It is empty, Achilles, so end it all now
It's a pointless resistance for you”
His voice was smooth in your ear, and you felt your burden intensify. Two days ago, while on patrol by yourself, you’d ended up fighting a villain. There weren’t any other heroes in the area so you were alone until your backup could arrive. Your first priority was to save the bystanders, and you tried, you really tried. The villain was relentless and used the innocents as a shield. It wasn’t until the fight was over that a life had been lost. A young man had had a heart attack during the fight. You hadn’t been able to get him somewhere where someone could help him. He had died before you could finish the fight. Bakugo held you that night as you sobbed for him.
His family had made a statement to the press and magazines were eating up the story. The family wasn’t suing, which you were grateful for, but you still visited them and apologized profusely. The man’s mother was understanding, as was her husband, but you could tell that the man’s brother was angry. Fury was radiating off him, and you took it because you knew you deserved it. What you didn’t expect was to see the brother that night on your way home from the office. All he did was grab you and yell, but looking back on it, that was when he’d put his quirk in use.
The next day your guilt was tenfold what it was yesterday, and it only grew. Your friends, your manager, and Bakugo could tell you were off. They didn’t ask questions though; no-one had gone through what you were feeling. You were all so young. That night you went on patrol with Dynamight and a couple other of your friends. You were on lookout on the very same roof you were standing on now when he had come up behind you. Every word he said enhanced what you were feeling until he saw you glance at the ledge. His smile was cruel as he said what you were thinking. A life for a life, it was only fair.
Now, in the present, Dynamight saw the man and recognized him for who he was. Puzzle pieces started to fall into place, that you weren’t in full control of yourself. He had to wait until he had more backup though, he couldn’t tip off the brother that he knew.
“Achilles, Achilles, just put down the bottle
Don't listen to what you've consumed
It's chaos, confusion and wholly unworthy
Of feeding and it's wholly untrue
You may feel no purpose nor a point for existing
It's all just conjecture and gloom
And there may not be meaning, so find one and seize it
Do not waste yourself on this roof
Hear those bells ring deep in the soul
Chiming away for a moment
Feel your breath course frankly below
And see life as a worthy opponent
Today, of all days, see
How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above
Crowned by an overture bold and beyond
Ah, it's more courageous to overcome”
You wanted so bad to believe him. Wanted so bad to be able to reach down and know that you had been forgiven. That it wasn’t your fault. You wanted to rise above it, but you were drowning. Flailing like you never learned how to swim. Was it really going to end like this for you? After everything that had happened in your life? After every obstacle you had overcome, this was it?
You briefly wondered if this was the kind of guilt that the drunk driver had felt when he learned that he had paralyzed a young child. If he had overcome his own guilt to help come up with your cure. You’d have to ask him if you survived. Oh, how you wanted to survive but what you did was unbearable. You’d killed a man. This quirk was so powerful, and you were feeling very weak.
“You want the acclaim, the mother of mothers”
His voice whispered again, smooth as silk.
“It's not worth it, Achilles”
Dynamight’s voice was quieter, like he was getting farther away.
“More poignant than fame or the taste of another”
You shook your head, shame filling you. He was feeding off other emotions now. Amplifying them to be your undoing.
“Don't listen, Achilles”
If only it were that easy, but the ledge was right there, you already had one foot on it.
“But be real and just jump, you dense motherfucker”
You stepped up onto the ledge.
“You're worth more, Achilles”
You were so high up; your knees feel weak.
“You will not be more than a rat in the gutter”
The lights down below were so mesmerizing.
“So much more than a rat”
You could see the outline of your friends down below, fewer now than before.
“Be done with this now and jump off the roof”
You moved one foot forward, ready. It would be fast right? You wouldn’t survive the fall.
“Can you hear me, Achilles?”
Your head snapped up to make eye contact with red eyes. So many emotions floating in them. Sadness, anger, desperation, and fear. You’d never seen him so scared. His fear frightened you, but not enough to shake this. Your foot hanging over a 50-story drop.
“I'm talking to you
I'm talking to you
I'm talking to you
I'm talking to you
Achilles, come down
Achilles, come down”
You loved him. You loved him so much it hurt. You’d die for him, you’d kill for him, but in this exact moment you wanted to live for him. You wanted to live so that he could propose, so you could get married to the love of your life. You wanted to build a family with him. Tears welled up in your eyes. You wanted to live but you didn’t know how after this. You’d killed a man. You deserved to die, didn’t you? The look on his face told you that this wasn’t the path to take but you were so sure.
Is there a way that you could be forgiven? The poor man’s mother had said so. Your friends had said so. Your agent had said so.
Bakugo Katsuki had told you that when he was holding you that night. He had never lied to you, that was a truth that you could live your whole life knowing. It was a pillar in your life. Maybe you could step down from here and continue living.
You faltered again, this time backwards.
Your eyes still locked with Dynamight, a voice behind you shouted,
“Throw yourself into the unknown
With pace and a fury defiant”
Then silence. A hand grabs your arm with a grip that could’ve broken it and yanks you off the ledge. Your heart seizes before you fall into Kirishima’s arms and start sobbing. What happens next is a blur, you’re handed off to familiar arms and they carry you. Sat in the back of an ambulance, Bakugo whispers into your hair,
“Clothe yourself in beauty untold
And see life as a means to a triumph
Today, of all days, see
How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above
Crowned by an overture bold and beyond
it's more courageous to overcome”
#mha#bakugo katsuki#bakugo x reader#bakugo x gender neutral reader#my hero acedamia#my hero fanfic#angst#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo mha
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On Saturday nights when I’m getting wine drunk I sometimes like todo lyrics analyzes and it also puts my FBI training to the test and recently all of this talk about Achilles and Patroclus from @enabler1therapist2 has got me thinking of the song “Achilles come down” let’s take a look at the lyrics together shall we?
Now at the beginning of the song we are seeing someone clearly begging Achilles to not jump. But him not listening like this
* Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you
Achilles, it's not much but there's proof
You crazy-assed cosmonaut, remember your virtue
Redemption lies plainly in truth
Just humor us, Achilles, Achilles, come down
Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?*
Perhaps he can not hear them, perhaps this is Patroclus begging him not to jump, or better yet his ghost begging him not to another indication of this are these Lyrics.
* Loathe the way they light candles in Rome
But love the sweet air of the votives
Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone
Engage with the pain as a motive
Today, of all days, see
How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above*
Clearly we can see Achilles has lost someone dear to him (Patroclus perhaps) and he is having a hard time handling that. Now as the song continues we see Achilles isn’t coming down but at one point we hear two voices one telling him to jump and another begging him not to.
* You want the acclaim, the mother of mothers (it's not worth it, Achilles)
More poignant than fame or the taste of another (don't listen, Achilles)
But be real and just jump, you dense motherfucker (you're worth more, Achilles)
You will not be more than a rat in the gutter (so much more than a rat)
You want my opinion, my opinion you've got (no one asked your opinion)
You asked for my counsel, I gave you my thoughts (no one asked for your thoughts)
Be done with this now and jump off the roof (be done with this now and get off the roof)
Can you hear me, Achilles? I'm talking to you*
This is clearly Achillies talking to himself but also Patroclus talking to him, telling Achilles i’ll see you when it’s your time, you’re not ready, i miss you and our time together was short but we will see eachother again. But Achilles couldn’t hear him and that’s made clear with each lyric one is being mean while the other is trying to talk him down.
But we the audience are left with the last plea and wondering if Achilles ever did come down.
* Today, of all days, see
How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above
Crowned by an overture bold and beyond
Ah, it's more courageous to overcome*
Anyway that’s my Saturday night analysis, time for another bottle of Wine and a romcom.
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