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#you know what spell is on like half the domain spell lists?
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If the Tree of Atrophy really is the Tree of Names, I vote we bring Deanna to take a look at it and give Aabria the chance to do the funniest possible thing.
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feyariel · 2 years
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The Real-World Mythology That Inspired the Core 3.x Pantheon
I don't think the core 3.x pantheon was intentionally built to resemble any real-world pantheon too closely. There are numerous problems with trying to say that all of the gods in the pantheon are one-for-one equivalents to others in real-world ones. However, there are some fairly obvious sources of inspiration for these gods. I've been meaning to post this for a while, but I've had other things to do and have taken too long writing this. I'll try to be as brief as possible.
Defining the Pantheon and Explaining its Existence
What was called "The Core D&D Pantheon" when third edition was current is a collection of between 19 and 25 deities.
Usually, sources focus on the 19 presented in the Player's Handbook. Though occasionally this will get further reduced with certain subsets (good-aligned, greater, human/all but racial deities) being treated as the whole pantheon, most sources stick to all 19. They are Boccob, Corellon Larethian, St. Cuthbert (usually misalphabetized under S for Saint, even though you don't alphabetize titles), Ehlonna, Garl Glittergold, Gruumsh, Heironeous, Hextor, "Wee" Jas (usually alphabetized under W), Kord, Moradin, Nerull, Obad-Hai, Olidammara, Pelor, Vecna, and Yondalla.
N.B.: I know that "Wee Jas" is a play on "Ouija" (which, coincidentally, I always pluralize for the fun of it) and usually treated as just her name (like how we have Corellon Larethian, Garl Glittergold, and Obad-H/hai). However, "Jas" is a nickname for "Jasmine" (or other names beginning with Jas-) and it's common to use euphemisms when referring to gods or spirits that are fearsome in some respect, such as gods of death. (Goes with "speak of the Devil" and not talking about Hades/the elves so as not to draw his/their attention and negativity.) Thus, I headcanon that "Wee" is a euphemistic title: mortals always call her what amounts to "Little Jasmine," which is less scary than the true name of the Dreaded Goddess of Death Magic. This is especially ironic, as Wee Jas is the funerary goddess, while Nerull is the known scary death guy.
A few sources take their cues from Deities & Demigods (3.0) and its update in Complete Divine (3.5) and also include Bahamut, Kurtulmak, Lolth, and Tiamat. These are in the slim minority. Almost none reference the two more-or-less added via the Expanded Psionics Handbook's inclusion on the SRD (Ilsensine and Zuoken), but that at least gives Monks a patron deity (of a strangely mismatched alignment for an ascended Monk whose portfolio is basically "being a monk").
It is quite clear that this list was cobbled together to include representatives of each class and core race by expected alignments. Corellon, Ehlonna, Garl, Gruumsh, Moradin, Pelor, and Yondalla represent the core races (respectively, elf, half-elf, gnome, half-orc, dwarf, human, and halfling). The rest align with the classes like so:
Adventurer (Generic): Fharlanghn (all), Pelor (good-aligned PCs)
Barbarian: Kord (good), Erythnul (evil)
Bard: Corellon (CG), Fharlanghn (as generic adventurers), Olidammara (CN)
Cleric: St. Cuthbert (LN), Pelor (NG), Nerull (NE)
Druid: Obad-Hai; Ehlonna by virtue of being a nature deity and providing the Sun domain (to fill out the parts of the Druid spell list not in Obad-Hai's domain lists).
Fighter: Corellon (CG), Gruumsh (CE), Heironeous (LG), Hextor (LE), Erythnul (CE), Kord (CG). Note that there is no True Neutral War deity in the main part of the pantheon.
Gishes (Fighter/Mages): Corellon (because elves from OD&D and BD&D were always gishes and in AD&D were able to level the farthest as gishes).
Mages (Sorcerers and Wizards): Boccob (N, mostly straight wizardry); Corellon (CG -- magic as art, perhaps sorcery), Vecna (NE -- occult knowledge as necessarily evil [occult = arcane = hidden]), Wee Jas (LN -- "black magic"/witchcraft in aesthetics without being overtly transgressive; wizardry as a discipline [lawful], sorcery as dealing with beautiful enchantresses [charisma])
Monk: None, surprisingly. St. Cuthbert kinda-sorta fulfills the role, but poorly.
Paladin: Heironeous, to a lesser extent St. Cuthbert and Pelor; Hextor (Antipaladins/Blackguards).
Ranger: Ehlonna, because Rangers were in earlier editions made the chaotic counterpart to Paladins (because Robin Hood) and Ehlonna is NG/CG; Obad-Hai inasmuch as Rangers worship nature deities.
Rogue: Garl (NG, pranks), Olidammara (CN, rogues in general), Nerull/Vecna (NE; Vecna is the god of secrets and thus should grant spells that conceal, but Nerull is the one with the Trickery domain, which is mainly glamers and other concealing spells).
It takes all of a few minutes of thought to draw these realizations. It's undoubtedly why certain major types of deities and areas of concern (e.g., love, rulership, the sea) are mostly or entirely absent from this group.
Generic Characters Lead to Coincidental Resemblances
The racial gods are all generic/archetypal versions of their respective races, with the exception being Ehlonna, who alternates between human and elven form for no real reason and as such is the de facto patron goddess of Half-Elves, who more frequently get shunted into Bard (because in AD&D Elves weren't allowed to be Bards for no reason). Pelor is a generic sun god. Nerull is the grim reaper. Obad-Hai draws on quite a few European gods and pagan-ish symbols (the Green Man, the Roman Silvanus, Dionysos's sylvan parts [represented more directly through his servant Pan]). Fharlanghn is every travel deity ever's main human disguise: a hobo. Only a few deities have overly specific characteristics that distinguish them strongly from possible sources of inspiration. Thus, while I'm sure real-world sources informed some of these deities' creation, I'm also relatively confident that they did so unintentionally, as is frequently the case with writing.
The Olympian Gods
This should come as no surprise to anyone with even a cursory understanding of Greek Mythology: it's everywhere because the Greeks and Romans were foundational to European civilization (and thus the Americans who created D&D) and is the most familiar of the three most familiar ancient religions (no, neither Norse nor Egyptian Mythologies are terribly exotic: we know too little about the first but speak a language with a strong ancestral relationship to it and the Egyptians have been exoticized since the Hellenic period; if you want to be "exotic"/an iconoclast, try reading up on literally any other mythology). We have...:
Corellon: Apollo. Apollo is a god of goodness, particularly goodness that fights evil; of all the gods said to combat evil, Corellon has the most developed mythology on that subject. Apollo's role as an averter of evil is two-sided, as Apollo is in general: he is a god of protection specifically and in numerous ways, but he also goes out to track down and confront evil on its own turf. Corellon does both. Apollo is the god of art for art's sake and in particular music and poetry; the same is true of Corellon. Apollo is a god of youth and beauty; Corellon, as an elf, is eternally youthful and rapturously beautiful. Apollo is a god of light and, apart from the sun, is associated with the quarter/half moon (related to the number seven: "quarter moon" refers to a quarter of the lunar cycle, which is seven days; "half moon" refers to how much of the moon appears at that time; Apollo's birthday is celebrated on the seventh day [of each month because the Greeks did that] and his benevolent influence comports with how seven is considered a lucky number); though Corellon isn't specified as such in 3e, elves are traditionally (and sometimes in D&D) luminous and his holy symbol is a (decorated) crescent moon. Apollo favors a bow, which he uses to deliver plagues, but also on occasion uses a sword, since swords are very symbolic; Corellon also uses a sword and a bow and elf shot traditionally delivers plague. While Apollo's cult is very intellectual and geared toward divination specifically, it's also very mystical; Corellon is a god of magic in general. Apollo is sometimes called nymphagetes, "leader of the nymphs," referring specifically to the muses; Corellon's name probably alludes to a corolla (flower crown) or possibly corona (crown) + elf/ellyllon (Welsh, roughly "elf") as an allusion to his position as the king/gender-neutral monarch ruling over all elves.
Ehlonna: Artemis. This one is pretty much one-for-one, especially since Artemis is given the same odd alignment (in 3e and in AD&D), mistaken predilection for swords (Ehlonna's entry in the Description chapter and in the table for spiritual weapon lists "longsword" as her favored weapon instead of "longbow" and the table also doesn't list a name, unlike most others; though Ehlonna has had a longsword since at least her write up in Dragon #63, it's noted after her archery skills; Artemis, who's only ever associated with ranged weaponry [bow, then spears, then nets], is given short swords as her favored weapons in Deities & Demigods 3.0), and association with Chaotic Good creatures (Unicorns and Rangers) despite her alignment. That said, Ehlonna is Artemis as filtered through too much patriarchal takes on femininity; it largely ignores that Artemis is a wild goddess and the ultimate source of Lady Liberty (Roman Libertas comes from Greek Eleutheria, a cultic name which when not simply the anthropomorphic personification of an abstract concept was used as an epithet of Artemis; the torch is a symbol for both). Also missing is a direct connection to either the moon or to witchcraft, both of which Artemis gets tied into from time to time (identified with Selene and Hekate, quite possibly the origin of Hekate).
Erythnul: Ares. Gods of violence and fear, "Eryth-" is a play on both the name "Ares" and erythros (Greek, "red," frequently used in modern medicine to denote blood and/or red blood cells; Erythnul sweats blood in combat). The "-nul" part of his name is likely from Eng. null (from Mid. French nul, Latin nullus), i.e., reducing things to nothing. Boars are sacred to Ares; Ares sent a boar (or transformed into one) to kill/castrate/suck off Adonis, whom he was jealous of (depends how you want to read it). Erythnul's holy symbol is a mask split in half: one side of the face is that of a demon, the other is a boar's.
Fharlanghn: Hermes. This is more because of genericness than anything. Hermes' position as a god of travel and boundaries expanded his areas of concern immensely, whereas Fharlanghn (far long 'n ['n = reduced "one"]) is only the god of travel, boundaries, and roads.
Heirneous: Directly inspired by Achilles (hence meersalm), holy symbol is a traditional symbol of Zeus.
Hextor: Name and opposition to Heironeous taken from Hector, whom he otherwise does not resemble.
Kord: Hercules insofar as both are gods of strength and the Barbarian archetype. Kord bears little else in common with Hercules specifically.
Moradin: Hephaistos in that both are forge gods, as you'd expect of dwarves. Dwarves are also slow and coded as ugly (they're frequently outright ugly [and indistinguishable from goblins] in earlier stories, but post-Tolkien dwarves are now just stocky Vikings), in keeping with Hephaistos being lame and deformed.
Nerull: More a generic god of evil and death than a direct analog to Hades, but as god of death and ruler of the netherworld (insofar as D&D has a generic netherworld), he's Hades.
Olidammara: Dionysos as god of revelry (wine [drugs], music [rock and roll], implied sex) with Hermes' roguery left out of Fharlanghn.
Obad-Hai: As mentioned, Dionysos' sylvan elements, which are more codified in Pan (including playing the aulos/shalm/other reed woodwinds). He's canonically a god of freedom, but not Chaotic, which is contradictory.
Pelor: You could say that Apollo's status as a god of the sun and healing is here, but you're still missing the intellectual component and Pelor looks like a Yahweh-type (beardily), so he's more (as said) a Crystal Dragon Jesus.
"Wee" Jas: She'd be Hekate if it weren't for the alignment; that's what you get for being a goddess of witchcraft, though.
Yondalla: As a lawful goddess of agricultural plenty, she has shades of Demeter, but as generic a Demeter as possible. As a goddess of community, she kinda-sorta resembles Hestia. As a somewhat militant goddess of community and wise counsel, she kinda-sorta resembles Athena. She's not enough of either Hestia or Athena, though; instead, it's a tweaking of Demeter.
You could also assert that Bahamut (a god of wind and normativity equated with ethics [Lawful Goodness] who wanders the mortal realms disguised as a mortal and who bestows good things on good mortals), Boccob (questionable ethics, perhaps the most powerful member of the pantheon), Heironeous (holy symbol), Obad-Hai (shapechanging, associated with oaks), and Pelor (beard, prominence in the pantheon) are all facets of Zeus.
Utterly missing are Aphrodite, Hera, and Poseidon. (This is even though the pantheon is drawn from Greyhawk and there are important equivalents of all three -- Myhriss, Procan, and Stern Alia.) Mostly missing are Athena, Hades, and Hestia; Mayaheine and Daern together are most of Athena and Daern is named in a core magic item, but that's about it.
Odin
The primary Odin allusion is Boccob: a trickster (Trickery domain) of questionable ethics who carries a stick (albeit not a pointed one) and whose ultimate goals are to acquire knowledge in general and especially of magic (which he acquires by wandering all realms) and to prevent a foreseen/prophesied cataclysm (in Boccob's case, the end of all magic). Boccob hasn't maimed himself in his pursuit of knowledge, doesn't ally himself with anyone, isn't a ruler, and has no particularly strong connection to death; his dubious ethics are because he thinks the squabbling of the alignments are petty and theoretical instead of facing the reality of an actual problem (the end of magic) rather than being noted as a master manipulator.
Vecna, as a maimed god of secrets (especially magic), is also an Odin reference. Unlike with Odin, he didn't lose his eye voluntarily. The loss of a hand mirrors Tyr's, but again, this wasn't a conscious decision and accepted loss; the maiming connections are probably coincidental and, if not, have been rewritten so that the reference is oblique.
One of Moradin's titles is "the All-Father." Though there are plenty of gods in plenty of religions that are treated as the ancestors of the human race (or at least their rulers) and many of these are male, "All-Father" is specifically Odin's title (and barely transliterated from the Old Norse). This is to solidify the dwarves-as-vikings business.
Middle Eastern Mythology
Obviously, Bahamut and Tiamat are named for entities from different peri-Mesopotamian sources, but D&D's Bahamut is not a giant fish that supports the bizarre stackings of objects beneath the World Turtle and D&D's Tiamat is not a goddess of salt water who birthed the first generation of gods and then monsters.
Roman Catholicism
St. Cuthbert is literally, canonically, intentionally one of the English saints of that name transported to Oerth and raised to divinity.
Other
It is possible that Olidammara's name derives from Olodumare, the supreme creator deity in Yoruban mythology (Voodoo, Santeria, et al) who is not able to be contacted directly and requires intercession through various spirits (orishas). Of course, they share nothing in common, so it's possible it was made up out of whole cloth and the connection is coincidental. However, Gygax was known for taking words he found in random dictionaries with incomplete definitions and appropriating them to his own ends. (For example, drow, aka trow, are trolls in the Shetland and Orkney Isles. They are sometimes called "dark elves" because Norse Mythology's distinctions between the various races wasn't exactly clear: svartalfar/dokkalfar [lit. "swarthy/dark elves"] is another name for dwarves in some sources and dwarves are kinda-sorta related to giants, so both get described as trolls. And yes, some of the Shetland/Orkney folklore is of Norse origin, as you'd expect given geography and vikings.)
If I can think of any others, I'll edit this post.
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pseudomonacarriea · 1 year
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“……………”
Tapping her finger on the counter, nail hitting the polished surface over and over to make a noise that seemed to all but spell out her displeasure; Tessa was giving Hugo a half-glare, half-pout while still wearing the apron she’d slipped on before going into the heat of polishing off the chocolates she’s planning to give him for Valentine’s Day.
In fact, she had just been about to approach the fridge, before the man entered the kitchen despite all her best efforts to keep him out as well as a warning for him to stay away from this area.
“Hugo.”
His partner speaks with a rather irate tone of voice, impatience poorly if at all masked as she glowers at him. If he doesn’t leave soon, she won’t have time to put the finishing touches, and while he’s certainly not going to mind (It’s Hugo after all), she would! It would bother her to no end that she didn’t give him her best, and here he is making things difficult being his usual self!
“Get out, or I’m not giving them to you when I finish. I’ll give them to Mr. Ein or Keith instead.”
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While he’s done everything she’s asked for today -- including a strange list of tasks -- he can’t stay out of the kitchens forever. He knows what today is. The threats he received from her were clear. Attempting to stave his curiosity and his growing hunger pangs he picked up a few more tasks.
After a few hours and having run out of things to do, he tried to sneak a peak. The one time he successfully entered her temporary domain is when he was met with an adorable look. Not denying that she’s annoyed, but the pout counters her annoyance. A part of him wants to go over and kiss it away.
Yet, he knows what’ll happen if he were to do so. As soon as he heard his name from her lips, the more rational side of him took hold.
“I’m just here to grab a quick something. Nothing else, I swear.“
Though it looks like his reason was pushed aside. Lips press together as he frowns. 
“I’m going, I’m going-!“
His feet bring him closer to her, purposefully avoiding the chocolate near her that he can see out of the corner of her eye. Placing a kiss on top of her head, he reaches for a can that’s above her head.
“I’ll be waiting in the courtyard. They smell good already. You look good like that by the way.“
Before she can throw something or hit him, he’s out the door. Maybe he can get read some more of his business management-- ah, who is he kidding. He wouldn’t be able to focus at all. Not with the most recent images in his mind and her taking up that space.
Then again, he can never focus on his studies.
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clericofsune · 3 years
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What I Want From DnD 6e
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Wizards of the Cost has now put out two surveys for both the Races and Classes/Subclasses in the Players Handbook, which suggests they’re either gearing up for a Remastered Edition with updated rules and features, or they’re preparing for 6th Edition. Or perhaps like with 3rd Edition we’re about to get a 5.5 Edition. So, whether we get a 6th Edition, a 5.5 Edition, or just a remastered edition of the PHB, I wanted to air my larger scope desires moving forward. These are in no particular order, just my personal opinions, and I don’t need all of these fulfilled to be happy. These are just ideas I’m spit-balling.
A larger Spells Known List for Sorcerers: Sorcerers only get 15 spells total, while Wizards get 44. If Sorcerer and Wizard are supposed to be the quintesential pair of arcane mastery, it doesn’t look good when the Sorcerer has literally 1/4 the spells of the Wizard. Clerics, Druids, and even Paladins get more spells than the Sorcerer, and if you count Mystic Arcanums, then even the Warlock gets more spells than the Sorcerer. Whether they get Origin Spells or just larger spells known in general, these masters of the arcane need more spells. 
More Spell Slots for Warlocks: This is more of a personal grievance. The warlock is so limited that you are pretty much backed into a corner to rely on Eldritch Blast and discouraged from taking any spells that don’t deal damage. The only out is to play a blade pact warlock where your weapon attacks are a valid second option to casting spells or relying on Eldritch Blast. I think giving the Warlock spell slots equal to half their level rounded down or otherwise limiting the maximum amount to about 8-10 would at least relax the crushing grip that restrains the class as casters.
More Domains for Clerics: Clerics have one of the biggest subclass lists in the game, but look at the domains of 3.5e, and you’ll actually start to feel jealous over how few options we have in 5e. So many great options aren’t available, or are “covered” by an inadequate substitute. There’s no Ocean domain, but those gods are lumped into Tempest. A domain that has nothing to do with controlling water. Because flying and farting lightning bolts sounds like a power I would get from worshipping Umberlee. Likewise, every Love deity is crammed into either Life or Light, instead of just giving us a Charm Domain for them to rule over.
Additions to Cleric Domains: So, one thing that 3.5e has that 5e doesn’t is Evil, Good, Lawful, and Chaotic Domains, as well as Racial Domains. I don’t know how this could be implemented exactly, but finding a way to implement alignment or race into a cleric build when building your character would help each god feel different, even if it was in small ways. It should be different worshipping a Chaotic Evil god of the Sea vs a Neutral Good God of the Sea, or perhaps to see the difference between worshipping the Dwarvish god of Crafting vs the Elvish god of crafting. Doing this can make worshipping Sune different from worshipping Aphrodite, Veranestra, Luthic, or Iallanis, while also making the process of choosing your deity a more laborious choice, rather than slapping any random god into the slot. It’s a way to make who you choose as important as the character you’re building itself.
A Comprehensive Guide of Deities and Patrons: Similar to the Paladin,  I think Clerics and Warlocks would benefit from having a guide to different deities or patron options on an individual level with things like Tenants, unique features for following them, other kinds of boons or bonuses, what they ask of you or how to worship them, and what kinds of things they might want their Cleric or Warlock to do. By having this sort of thing, each individual patron or deity becomes more unique, and there’s a difference between worshipping Asmodeus, being his Warlock, both, or whatever. Even if you like playing as a Life Domain Cleric, serving Demeter would be different than worshipping Apollo. Same Domain, but different figure. Likewise, you could play three different Archfey Warlocks and each time serve a different master with an entirely different objective, boon, or pre-written story hook. Thus, adding more variety while also improving the roleplaying aspect that comes with playing a Cleric, Paladin, or Warlock. Sune might ask her followers to pay craftsmen to create instruments or artwork, while Freya might ask her followers to protect mankind from evil creatures, and Veranestra might delight in her clerics toying with the emotions of mortals. By making each patron or deity unique, it adds a layer to the roleplaying, and even gives non-clerics or warlocks an excuse to actually care about their setting’s pantheon.
Eliminating a Set Casting Stat: So this is likely to be an unpopular opinion, but set casting stats are a crutch when it comes to multiclassing. It’s very limiting, and you’re unlikely to see a Sorcerer/Monk because it requires too many stats and doesn’t leave enough room for other stats to matter. By eliminating a set casting stat, you open the door for a Bard/Cleric who worships the god of music, or a Druid/Paladin who swears an oath to the ancient guardians of the forest. It opens the door for more variety and customization.
Adding a Science Skill: There really should be a skill for knowing things like chemistry, physics, aliens, etc. and a broad-specs Science skill like Arcana for magical things seems about right. Obviously, it would be an Intelligence check.
Giving Player Characters a Trade: Another thing I found in 3.5e that we don’t have in 5e is an ability to invest time into improving on a skill or trade that can be monetized. Sewing, crafting, building, inventing, there’s a lot of room for player characters to have a trade from their backstory, but this seems to have been completely discarded for 5e, as there’s no real mechanics in place for owning your own business or crafting your own goods to sell, which leaves a lot of it to DMs having to make up rules if their players want to do this sort of stuff. Letting characters pick up a trade similar to a feat or gaining a trade from their background would benefit player customization, even on a smaller scale.
Making Players less reliant on the CON stat: This is a personal grievance. I hate that I can’t build a character without needing to invest in this stat. Any other stat can be a dump stat, but CON pretty much is not allowed to be. It wouldn’t matter if it mattered for skills, but it doesn’t. You just have to invest in it, or you’ll get very familiar with your settings’ version of the grim reaper very quickly. A high CON should just make you MORE tanky, but shouldn’t be mandatory to avoid dying. I’ve had many builds undermined by a need to focus on the HP stat that they couldn’t really do anything else.
More Elemental Spells: If you want to build a Fire or Cold damage character, you’ll be fine. Radiant and Necrotic have some variety. And Psychic has gotten more spells lately. But try to build a character with just Lightning spells or just Thunder or Force, and you’ll quickly realize that some elements get way more love than others. The WoTC team needs to really expand on elemental damaging spells to give players more variety with their options. Particularly with Lightning, Thunder, Force, Acid, and Poison damage spells, but even Psychic, Radiant, and Necrotic could still use more variety.
More Thematic Spells: Have you ever wanted to play as Poison Ivy only to realize there’s like 3 spells that actually attack people with plants? Or maybe you wanted to build a character that uses shadow powers, but the number of spells that use darkness or shadows are few and far between? I think DnD would benefit from adding more spells that fit into thematic groups, such as plant-based spells, shadow spells, telekinetic abilities, using fey, celestial, or fiend magic, elemental magic of water, earth, and air, etc. We recently got a lot of new spells for summoners, and that was great. So while it sucks they can only be summoned once at a time, it’s still an improvement over not having any summoning spells at all.
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sineala · 3 years
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Tony Stark and Arthuriana
Coming to you by special request, a very long post about 616 Tony's interest in Arthuriana, with a focus on all of Tony's run-ins with Morgan le Fay!
I feel like I should disclaim the extent of my knowledge here, which is that I still haven't managed to read anywhere near every issue of Iron Man -- at least, not yet, anyway -- so I'm just going by the things I know I've read, and Morgan le Fay's Marvel wiki entry is frustratingly under-cited, so it's very possible I've missed something relevant, but I'm pretty sure I've got the big stuff down. My other disclaimer here is that I'm not as big an Arthurian nerd as Tony is, which is to say that most of my familiarity comes from modern retellings -- T. H. White's The Once and Future King, Marion Zimmer Bradley's The Mists of Avalon, Mary Stewart's The Crystal Cave, Rosemary Sutcliff's Sword at Sunset -- and not so much the usual classic sources on the Matter of Britain, though I've read bits and pieces of them.
(This is because I wanted to read versions of them that were as close to the original as possible but so far have not ended up finishing any of them because, well, that's hard. So I've never read the Mabinogion because I do not know Welsh. I've got the Norton Critical Edition of Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur, which is probably the best student edition if you're looking for something without modernized spellings, as I was. I've also got -- well, okay, it's my wife's but I'm borrowing it -- a relatively recent Boydell & Brewer edition (ed. Reeve, tr. Wright) of Geoffrey of Monmouth's Historia Regum Britanniae (History of the Kings of Britain), which is, you guessed it, in Latin with a facing English translation. I haven't gotten very far in it because, in case you didn't know this about Latin texts, the beginning is pretty much always the hardest, so I gave up and read some Plautus adaptations instead. Anyway, if for some reason you too want to read Geoffrey of Monmouth in the original Latin I'd recommend that one, but I can't recommend any particular English translations because I've never read one by itself. I bet you didn't think you'd be getting Latin prose recommendations in this post. I mean, maybe you did; it is me, after all.)
Okay. Right. King Arthur. Here we go.
We've got:
Flashbacks to Tony's childhood in late Iron Man volume 1
A brief discussion of Morgan's origin story and Avengers #187
Iron Man vol 1 #149-150: Doomquest
What If vol 1 #33: What if Iron Man was trapped in the time of King Arthur?
Iron Man vol 1 #249-250: Recurring Knightmare
Iron Man: Legacy of Doom #1-4
Avengers vol 3 #1-4: The Morgan Conquest
Civil War: The Confession
Mighty Avengers vol 1 #9-11: Time Is On No One's Side
In terms of universe-internal chronology, we know from Iron Man #287, from 1992, that Tony has been a fan of King Arthur since childhood. This is an issue of a fandom-favorite arc which features Tony having a lot of childhood flashbacks, including the famous "Stark men are made of iron" line (in #286) that for some reason MCU fandom decided it loved; I mean, seriously, I've seen that quoted in way more MCU fic than 616 fic. But slightly later, in #287, we get an entire page devoted to Tony's love of King Arthur.
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The narration reads: "Over the next few years, I learned as my father intended. Discipline of body. Strength of character. But in what free time I was allowed, I worked my way through the school's library. At thirteen, I discovered Mallory [sic], who showed me a whole new world. A world of dedication to a cause greater than oneself. Of chivalry and honor. And the fantastic deeds -- of armored heroes."
The art shows Tony as a child sitting under a tree, reading a book labeled Mort D'Arthur by Mallory [sic] -- no, don't ask me why nobody at Marvel checked how to spell either the name of the book or its author -- and daydreaming of King Arthur, the Sword in the Stone, knights, et cetera. Just in case you somehow missed the extremely blatant hint that we are meant to understand that Tony's knight obsession heavily influenced him becoming Iron Man as an adult, we see one of his armors mixed in with all the drawings of knights. So, yes, canonically Tony is Iron Man at least partly because he's a giant King Arthur nerd, which I think is so very sweet. I love him. He's such a dork!
(This issue is currently in print in the Iron Man Epic Collection War Machine, should you need your own copy.)
This isn't actually the only reference to Tony as a King Arthur fanboy in this era of canon, either; a little later, in IM #298, we see that one of Tony's passwords is actually "Mallory." (Yeah, no, they still couldn't spell. But it's cute.)
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But in terms of actual publication order, this is definitely not the first time we have seen in canon that Tony is into Arthuriana, as I'm sure you all know. I would assume, in fact, that giving Tony a childhood interest in Arthuriana is because Doomquest is one of the most beloved Iron Man story arcs of all time, and that all started at least a decade before IM #287 here was published.
The villain of Doomquest -- the one who isn't Doctor Doom, at least -- is Morgan le Fay. Yes, that Morgan le Fay. Yes, Arthur's evil half-sister Morgan le Fay. Yes, all of this King Arthur stuff is canonically real history on Earth-616. Morgan's first appearance in Marvel, per the wiki, was in Black Knight #1 (1955), which I have not read, and judging by the summary I feel like this is probably just supposed to be a straight-up comic retelling of Arthurian legends for kids; I don't think Marvel really had the whole Marvel Universe in mind as a concept in 1955, so I'm not sure this was meant to connect to anything else. I feel like this is another one of those instances of Marvel discovering that they can write comics about characters in the public domain for free -- like, I'm pretty sure that's how we also ended up with, like, Norse, Greek, and Roman mythology wedged into 616.
As far as I can tell from the wiki, the first time Morgan tangled with the Avengers (or indeed the larger 616 universe) in any way actually predated Doomquest -- it was in an early arc in Spider-Woman (#2-6) and then Avengers #187, which came out in 1979, actually right when Demon in a Bottle was happening over in Iron Man comics. If you read #187, Iron Man is not in it because he's off the team due to his drinking problem and also his accidentally murdering the Carnelian ambassador problem. So Wonder Man's filling in instead. This issue is part of Michelinie's rather sporadic Avengers run, which makes sense, I guess, considering where we see Morgan next.
Anyway, Avengers #187 is the classic issue where Wanda is possessed by Chthon, but what you may not remember from Chthon's backstory (I sure didn't!) is that he was summoned by Morgan le Fay because she was the first person who tried to wield the Darkhold to summon him. As you can imagine, this did not work out especially well for her and her followers and they had to seal Chthon away in Wundagore Mountain, which was where Wanda found him. (The Spider-Woman stuff is only slightly earlier and also appears to be about Morgan and the Darkhold; the Darkhold is not one of the areas of 616 canon I am especially conversant with, alas. It's on my to-read list.)
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Doomquest, as you probably know, was a classic Iron Man two-parter in Layton & Michelinie's first Iron Man run that set up Tony and Doom as rivals; Doomquest itself was IM #149-150, in 1981, and then in their second IM run they came back and did a sequel in 1989, Recurring Knightmare (IM #249-250), and then the much later four-part sequel to that was the 2008 miniseries Iron Man: Legacy of Doom, which was also by Layton & Michelinie but generally does not seem to be as popular as the first two parts. They've all been reprinted, if you're looking for copies; I have a Doomquest hardcover that collects the first four issues and then a separate Legacy of Doom hardcover. Currently in the Iron Man Epic Collection line there's a volume called Doom, which confusingly only collects the 249-250 part of the storyline (as well as surrounding issues), because for some reason the first Layton & Michelinie run isn't in Epics yet but the second one is. So the beginning of Doomquest isn't currently in print, as far as I can tell. I'm sure you can find it anyway.
So what's Doomquest about? Okay, so you remember how Doctor Doom's mother's soul is stuck in hell for all eternity? Well, Doom's obviously interested in getting her back, and the strategy he has embarked on is to try to team up with other powerful magicians who can help him out, and he thinks Morgan le Fay would be a good choice, for, uh, his quest. Doom's quest. A Doomquest, if you will. (If you've ever read Doctor Strange & Doctor Doom: Triumph & Torment, you're familiar with the part where he later ends up waylaying Strange for this and they go to hell together. And if you haven't read Triumph & Torment, you really should, because it's amazing.)
So Doom is off to his time machine to go team up with Morgan le Fay and Tony thinks Doom is up to something -- Doom has been stealing components for his time machine from a lot of people, including Tony -- and he follows him and it turns out one of Doom's lackeys has a grudge and wants to trap Doom in the past forever, and Tony gets caught up in it. Now they're both in Camelot. Surprise! #149 is actually all setup; they don't get to Camelot until #150.
IM #150 begins with Doom and Tony thrown back into the past; there's a fandom-famous splash page of them locked in combat, only to realize that they have found themselves in Camelot.
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They are then discovered by knights; Doom would very much like to attack them, but Tony, who naturally would be happy to LARP Camelot forever, persuades him to play nice. Also Doom thinks Iron Man is only Tony's bodyguard so he keeps referring to him as "lackey," much to Tony's annoyance. Somehow everyone thinks they're sorcerers. Can't imagine why. The knights take them to meet King Arthur himself, and Tony has clearly had his introduction all ready to go, as he introduces himself in a timeline-appropriate manner, says he's here to apprehend Doom, and demonstrates his "magic" by levitating Arthur's throne. Doom's response is essentially "I'm the king of Latveria," which is, y'know, also valid. So they're guests at Camelot for the night while Arthur figures out what to do with them.
We then have a page devoted to Tony alone in his room, musing sadly about how alien he feels, how he doesn't know if he'll ever get home, how he could never fit in here without his beloved technology. Then a Sexy Lady shows up to keep him company for the night, and he decides maybe it's not all bad. Thanks, Marvel. I guess they can't all be winners.
Doom is using his evening much more productively; he compels one of the servants to tell him where Morgan's castle is, because he's still interested in having that team-up. Then he jets off. Literally. He has a jetpack.
The next morning Arthur's like "one of you is still here and one of you has punched a hole through the castle wall and flown off to join Morgan so I guess I know which of you is more trustworthy." He then explains to Tony who Morgan is, because Tony professes ignorance, because clearly we had not yet retconned in Tony's love of Arthuriana. Tony offers to go fight Doom and Morgan with Arthur; meanwhile, Morgan and Doom have teamed up and Morgan has offered to help get Doom's mother out of hell if he commands her undead armies against Arthur because for Reasons she can't command them herself anymore. So that's a thing that happens.
So, yes, it's Tony and Arthur versus Doom and Morgan. Fight fight fight!
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Tony tries Doom first but then decides to hunt Morgan down, and in the ensuing fight we get what I think is Tony's first ever "I hate magic," a complaint that we all know he still makes even to this day.
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Anyway, Tony freezes a dragon with Freon (mmm, technology) and Morgan gets upset and disappears, so the battle comes to an end, and of course Doom is extremely mad at Tony because he blames Tony for Morgan not sticking around to save Doom's mom, because I guess Doom trusted her to keep her word? Weird. (Like I said, for the next chapter of Doom saving his mother, go read Triumph & Torment.)
Doom says if he and Tony work together, the components in both of their armors can send them both home. So Tony has to trust Doom. Which he does, because he really has no other choice. They build a time machine and Tony makes Doom agree to a 24-hour truce when they get back, so they can both get home. So it all works out okay, and they end up in the present, and Doom tells him, ominously, that they will meet again. Okay, then. That concludes the original Doomquest. It's fun! You can see why fandom likes it.
So that's all well and good, but you might have noticed that Tony's ability to get home hinged on Doom actually being trustworthy. And Doom was. But what if Doom hadn't been? What if he'd just stranded Tony in Camelot forever As you may have surmised from the form of that question, that is in fact a question Marvel asked themselves, because, yes, there's a What If about this! What If v1 #33 is "What if Iron Man was trapped in the time of King Arthur?"
The divergence point from canon, as you can probably guess, is the very end of Doomquest. Instead of Doom bringing Tony home, he deceives him and leaves him in Camelot. And since Tony cannibalized a lot of the tech from his armor to make the time machine, he doesn't have a way to go home.
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This is not a story where Tony comes up with a way to go home after all. He really doesn't get to go home. But instead of drowning his sorrows in mead -- because, remember, Demon in a Bottle has already happened and Tony is sober now -- he decides he might as well just play the hand he's dealt. So with what's left of his armor, he defeats some enemies that Morgan rounds up to send against Camelot. And for his services, he's knighted. He is now Sir Anthony.
Tony acknowledges that he is both living the dream and would also like very, very much to go home.
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He does end up having some fun in Camelot; it's not all miserable. But he obviously doesn't want to be there.
So if you're at all familiar with King Arthur, you know how this goes, right? Arthur fights Mordred and Mordred kills him. And that does happen in this version. Except Tony is right there, and with his dying words, Arthur asks Tony to rule Camelot... and Tony agrees.
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So, yes, Tony Stark becomes king of the Britons after Arthur's death and he never goes home again. The end. Man, I love What Ifs.
Heading back to main 616 continuity, there is still more of this arc to go. The original Doomquest was only two issues, yes, but it was popular enough that Layton & Michelinie did a sequel a hundred issues later, in their second run of Iron Man, and that's Iron Man #249-250, Recurring Knightmare. (In the intervening issues were Denny O'Neil's IM run, specifically the second drinking arc (#160-200), and then Layton & Michelinie came back and most famously gave us Armor Wars (#225-232). I would have to say that Armor Wars is definitely the standout fandom-favorite arc of their second IM run; for their first one, I think a lot of people would have a hard time choosing between Doomquest and Demon.) But anyway, yes. Recurring Knightmare.
Recurring Knightmare is... well, the best way I can describe it is "a trip." It is definitely a sequel to Doomquest, and it is also definitely not a sequel you  would ever have expected to see for Doomquest.
Much like #149, #249 is pretty much just setup. Fun setup, but the big action is in the next issue. We open with Doom in Latveria, on his throne, pondering which of his servants he should have disintegrated. Anyway, he's just hanging out there when a mysterious object appears. In California, Tony is suited up and entertaining the crowd at a mall opening when the same object also appears! He takes it to his lab. Please note that this is after the Kathy Dare incident, so Tony is still recovering and is walking with a cane. Doom sees on the news that Iron Man has found the same object, which cannot be carbon-dated, and he shows up at Tony's house. He criticizes Tony's taste in art.
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Anyway, Doom basically orders Tony to work with him. Tony refuses, and then Doom sends some robots to attempt to steal Tony's version of the object because he thinks if he has them both he will be powerful. Doom manages to steal it, and when he puts the pieces together, both he and Tony disappear.
So where do they go, you might ask? Camelot?
Not exactly. The future! There is a great callback to the Doomquest splash page.
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It turns out they are in London in 2093. Merlin brought them there. Tony still hates magic. And in the future, King Arthur is still there, except he is now a child, because he has been reborn. But he does remember Tony from Doomquest, at which point Tony kneels. Doom, of course, is not impressed. He asks why they have been brought to the future.
The answer is that things are going wrong in the future. If you do not personally remember United States politics in the 1980s, I need you to google the words "Strategic Defense Initiative" right now. I'll wait.
Back with me? Okay, so this is a future where Reagan's Star Wars program actually happened the way he wanted it to, and the satellites are still hanging around the Earth in the future and messing everything up, and Arthur and Merlin need Tony and Doom's help to stop them. Doom once again flies away with his jetpack, of course.
Tony is game to help, but he's not in an armor that can stay in space for long. This is when Merlin takes him and Arthur to the mall and Tony manages to get everything to upgrade his armor at Radio Shack. You see what I meant about this issue being weird.
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Tony is out in space trying to disarm the SDI platform, which is where he runs into his future descendant, Andros Stark, who is in armor you will probably recognize from Iron Man 2020. He is referred to as "the resurrected spawn of Iron Man 2020" so I assume he's actually directly related to Arno rather than a direct descendant of Tony; Wiki confirms that Arno is his grandfather. This is all from way before Arno was contemporaneous with Tony in canon. Anyway, he's fighting Tony.
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Oh, by the way, Future Doom exists. Future Doom would like to rule this future Earth and for some reason Andros would like to help him. Meanwhile, Present Doom finds out from Merlin that he can't leave except by magic and he can't leave without Tony, so he is reluctantly on Tony's side.
They need help from the Lady of the Lake, except the lake has been paved over and is now a parking lot. Merlin makes the lake come back and then of course they get Excalibur. Arthur is a kid, so he can't wield a longsword; Doom assumes he's going to take it because he is basically a king, and he's pretty grumpy when the sword picks Tony. Tony then uses Excalibur to destroy the space lasers, and I bet that is a sentence you never thought you would read. It's pretty cool. Tony concludes that magic has its good points. Tony stops Andros and Doom stops, uh, himself, and the world is saved and they get to go home. Also, Doom finds out Tony is Iron Man, but when Merlin sends them back he conveniently erases their memories, so neither of them remember anything about this and Tony's secret is still safe. And that's the sequel to Doomquest.
And if you think that's weird, wait until you see Legacy of Doom.
Iron Man: Legacy of Doom is a four-issue miniseries from 2008, also by Layton and Michelinie. Even though it's from 2008, it's set during a much more classic time in Iron Man, continuing on from where we left off in this Doomquest saga. We start with a framing story in 2008. Tony, who has Extremis now, is busy scrapping some of his older armors and reviewing his logs when he suddenly remembers that there was a whole thing with Doom that happened that he seems to have forgotten about until right now. So the whole thing is narrated by Tony in flashback.
Tony's in space fixing a satellite when a hologram of Doom shows up and summons him to Latveria. It's not really clear why Doom needs Tony's help in particular here, but Doom tells Tony that he's discovered that Mephisto would like to bring about the end of the world, which Doom finds, and I quote, "presumptive." So Doom has his Time Cube, and with it he takes Tony to hell.
(Yes, I promise this is relevant to Doomquest. There will be some Arthuriana shortly.)
Doom brings Tony to Mephisto, and it turns out it's a setup! Doom trades Tony for an item he wants from Mephisto, leaves, and Tony's going to be trapped in hell forever! Oh no! (I mean, he's not. But it's quite a cliffhanger.)
At the beginning of issue #2, we find out what the Arthurian connection is, which is that we learned that after the events of Doomquest, Morgan had been granted sanctuary by Mephisto in exchange for a shard of Excalibur that she had somehow stolen. Doom still wants Morgan's help with some magic -- he doesn't mention what it is here, but he says he needs someone of Pendragon blood, and that'd be her -- so he traded Tony to Mephisto in exchange for, I'm guessing, Morgan and the Excalibur shard.
I have probably mentioned this elsewhere, but Legacy of Doom #2 is one of my favorite issues of Iron Man ever, solely because of the next scene. We return to Tony in hell. Howard Stark is also in hell, and he is now a demon, and Tony has to fight him. Mephisto brings popcorn and watches. This is the one time in canon when Tony actually confronts his father, and okay, yes, it's a fistfight in hell and Howard is a demon, but that's comics for you. Howard spends several pages insulting Tony -- specifically insulting his masculinity, but that's a whole other essay -- until he finally insults Maria too, and that's when Tony fights back, because his mother taught him to be good. Honestly if you're a Tony fan I'd recommend this issue just for that scene.
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Anyway, we go back to the Doom and Morgan plot, and Morgan casts the spell Doom wanted, which was fusing the Excalibur shard with Doom's armor. Then Doom sends her back to Camelot rather than hell, because he's still mad that she never helped him get his mom out of hell like she said she would.
Tony freezes Howard with Freon -- yes, the same trick he pulled on the dragon back in Doomquest -- and tells him, "You're no father of mine." It is immensely satisfying.
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(I had been going to mention that I thought it was a shame that neither canon nor fandom seems to have really engaged with this confrontation, and I know canon never believes in narrative closure but fandom sure does -- and then, anyway, it occurred to me that since the framing story of Tony remembering this is set when Tony has Extremis, there's a very good chance that he no longer remembers remembering it. Goddammit, Marvel.)
(If I got to retcon one canon thing about Tony, I think "the entirety of World's Most Wanted" is up there. I mean, okay, a lot of things are up there, but WMW is definitely on the shortlist.)
Okay. Tony has now engineered his way out of hell, and he's back with Doom in Latveria. Doom has Excalibur. Doom would very much like to fight him. While wielding Excalibur. You get the sense that this is going to be bad. Another cliffhanger!
Legacy of Doom #3 opens with Tony destroying Doom's lab to buy time and running away from Doom and Excalibur. I should probably mention that Doom still doesn't know Tony is Iron Man (anymore), so he thinks he is dealing only with Iron Man, Tony Stark's lackey. Meanwhile, some scientists at SI think there's something weird going on with space. Meanwhile meanwhile, Tony is in a forest taking a breather when a mysterious old man walks up to him.
It's Merlin! Surprise! Merlin wants Tony's help to stop Doom from doing whatever he's doing with Excalibur. The sword makes you invincible and the scabbard makes you invulnerable, so Merlin sends Tony to Scotland on a fetch quest for the scabbard. Doom has now magically sent the sword in search of the scabbard, so the sword flies away to meet it and Doom follows. Turns out the thing that's wrong with space is a thing that's going to hit Earth at the exact place Tony and Doom are. What a coincidence! So Tony and Doom get trapped in a stone circle and fight some stone warriors and then Tony ends up with the scabbard. And by "ends up with," I mean it fuses to his armor. Next issue!
Legacy of Doom #4 is when things really, really get weird. A giant demon made of eyes (???) appears, and this demon is apparently what Doom had been preparing to fight (because it's mad that Doom stole one of its spellbooks), and now he can't, because the sword and the scabbard aren't together. Thanks, Shellhead.
That's when Merlin shows up and says all is not lost. They can defeat the demon... if they put the sword into the scabbard.
"But I'm the scabbard now!" Tony says, uncomprehending.
"Yes," Merlin says. "You are."
Then Tony gets it.
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So, yes, Doom has to, um, penetrate Tony. With Excalibur. I love comics. I love comics so much.
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So that's a thing that happens.
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And then Tony flies off and, I guess, resolves to never, ever think about any of this again.
We head back to the framing story, in which Tony, now having remembered all of this, flies to Britain, buys the land the lake is on, and paves it over, presumably so it will be there for Merlin to bring back in Iron Man #250. The end.
Whew.
Okay, yeah, I know I didn't have to summarize the whole thing, but Legacy of Doom here really is one of my favorite Iron Man miniseries. And I just want to share the love. Please read it. It's great.
But the Arthuriana fun doesn't end there! In fact, now we get an Arthurian-themed arc that actually isn't in Iron Man comics. It's in Avengers! Iron Man is involved, though.
(There is also apparently a Morgan arc in Avengers #240. I actually haven't read it. It seems to be yet another Spider-Woman arc. I get the impression that this isn't really Arthuriana other than having Morgan in it fighting Jess, though, so it doesn't seem quite as relevant. Morgan also apparently has some appearances in FF, Journey into Mystery, and Marvel Team-Up, but those seem like more of just basic villainy. Also, probably not involving Tony.)
Kurt Busiek's 1998 Avengers run, volume 3, is in large part the kind of Avengers run that is a nostalgic love letter to older comics. Heroes are heroes and villains are villains and good triumphs over evil. The Avengers all live in the mansion and are BFFs. I love it. It does assume that you are already a fan of the Avengers, because it starts out by summoning pretty much everyone who has ever been an Avenger and is available to the mansion, and that is... a lot of people. Thirty-nine, by my count. Also, when the entire team is magically whisked away, we are treated to the following narration, as Steve disappears: "And Captain America's last thought, as the world goes white around him, and he with it -- is that Iron Man would hate this."
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The narration doesn't tell you why Iron Man would hate this, or how Captain America would know that Iron Man hates this. This is not explained later on. But if you have read comics -- or if you have read the above summary of Doomquest -- you know that Tony is absolutely, one hundred percent, thinking, "I hate magic." And Steve knows it.
The reference is not relevant to the plot; if you don't get it, you'll be fine. But that's what I mean when I say this is a nostalgia run. There are definitely Easter eggs for people who have read a bunch of comics. Busiek does this a whole lot in his work -- there's a reason you can buy an annotated edition of Marvels -- and, yeah, it happens here too. Just know that there will be references you're not getting, if you're new to comics.
Anyway. So Busiek's run actually starts out with an Arthurian arc, #1-4, "The Morgan Conquest." The name is a dead giveaway. Yes, Morgan le Fay is back. Again. For once, Doom is not involved.
The Avengers are all back from their sojourn on Counter-Earth after fighting Onslaught -- don't worry about it -- and mysterious things are happening. There are a lot of monster attacks. So pretty much everyone who has ever been an Avenger is summoned to the mansion, at which point we learn from Thor about some mystical artifacts that are being stolen. (They are the Norn Stones and also the Twilight Sword. That sounds like something from a Zelda game, doesn't it?) The Avengers go to try to stop this, end up in Tintagel, and then they run into Mordred. He wants to capture Wanda, presumably for Magic Reasons. Morgan le Fay casts a spell on all of them, reshaping reality. Yes, all of them. Surprise!
So now all the Avengers are living in a medieval castle and/or town; Morgan is their queen, and thanks to the power of mind-control they are all basically living in Ye Olden Times. The Avengers are all some variety of knight, except for Wanda, who is chained up in the dungeon so Morgan can steal her magic and use it to fuel all this reality-warping.
Wanda calls for help, and that snaps Steve (Yeoman America!) out of the mind control (or altered reality or whatever you want to call it) pretty fast, because Steve's always been very good at resisting mind control, and then Steve promptly goes and snaps Clint out of it, because I guess Steve is also good at inspiring people to snap out of mind control. "Oh, man!" Clint says. "Not another alternate reality! Not again!" (I assume he's referring to Counter-Earth? Maybe?)
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So Steve and Clint go around reassembling the Avengers and orienting them as to reality. They get Jan and Monica easily, but then Steve insists on trying to get Tony because, I guess, he likes Tony and would really like to hang around Tony, who is half-naked and asleep in his bedroom, and certainly I am reading nothing whatsoever into this. Clint tells Steve it's not going to work. Tony has historically been fairly susceptible to mind control; it was only pretty recently at this point that he'd been doing Kang's bidding in The Crossing. But the more serious impediment is that this is Tony Stark and he would obviously like to LARP being a knight forever and ever. Tony, therefore, does not believe Steve, and throws him and Clint out of his bedroom and into the barracks.
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"Iron Man's a good guy, normally," Clint says. "But he's waaay too into his whole nobleman/lord of the manor trip. That spell musta hit him right where he lives!"
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Clint speaks the truth, clearly.
Anyway, they go around and manage to make pretty much every Avenger in the room other than Tony snap out, and attempt to rebel against Morgan while Tony is stil fighting them because he is Still A Knight. There's a lot of punching, because some of the Avengers still aren't free; they weren't ones Steve found.
The day is saved when Wanda manages to channel Wonder Man and break free. This gives the Avengers a fighting chance against Morgan and the Avengers are all lending Wanda their power when Tony finally snaps out of it and is on the side of good. 
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Then they take Morgan down, go home, and attempt to figure out which of these thirty-nine people should be on the active Avengers team. Hooray.
But that's not the end of Morgan le Fay showing up to screw around with Tony's life! There's more to come! Not much, but there is one that I know of, and at least one more memorable reference. 
(I haven't read all her appearances or anything, but one of them definitely involves Tony; I can't swear that he doesn't appear in any of the other books Morgan shows up in, but it'd be a cameo for him, because I only know of one more arc that she's in in a book that Tony stars in.)
In a few more years, we have now entered the part of Marvel Comics history where Brian Michael Bendis writes all the Avengers books at the same time for, like, seven years running. It was sure A Time. There were a lot of word bubbles.
And the thing about Bendis is, Bendis looooooves Doomquest. If you're familiar with the very end of his tenure at Marvel where he made Doom be Iron Man after Tony got knocked into a coma in Civil War II, you have probably figured out already that he likes Doom. But he also likes Doomquest, specifically.
I mean, if nothing else, the giant splash page in The Confession where Maleev redrew the climactic Doomquest fight while Bendis had Tony talk about how deeply meaningful to his understanding of the world this all was -- and how it allowed him to predict Civil War -- was probably a big clue, right?
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As far as I am aware, Morgan le Fay makes exactly one more appearance in Tony's life. And that's in Mighty Avengers vol 1 #9-11. Only one of those issues is named, so I'm going to assume the arc is named after it: Time Is On No One's Side.
You remember Mighty Avengers, right? The deal with the Avengers books at the time was that after Bendis exploded the mansion and made the team disband in Avengers Disassembled, the main Avengers book was no longer called just Avengers. Instead, the main Avengers book was New Avengers, and that was the only Avengers book. Then Civil War happened, Steve got killed, and New Avengers became the book about what was left of the SHRA resistance (i.e., Steve's side) after the war. So about halfway through New Avengers, Mighty Avengers starts up, and Mighty Avengers is about an extremely fucked-up and grief-stricken Tony Stark trying to run the official government-sanctioned Avengers team, with Carol's help. This is the comic with the arc where Tony turned into naked girl Ultron. You remember.
So, anyway, there's this Mighty Avengers arc where Doom is Up To Something (there are symbiotes and a satellite involved) and somehow Tony and the Avengers end up in Latveria, punching Doom. Also, by the way, Doom is visiting Morgan in the past because he likes her. The Avengers attacking his castle made him have to come back to the present, so he's kind of cranky. And he fights Tony, and in the course of the fight, his time platform explodes and sends Doom and Tony and also the Sentry to... the past.
This is one of those times where you should definitely look up the comics if possible because the way the past is visually indicated here is that it's colored with halftone dots the way you would expect old comics to be colored, although they have modern shading and color palettes. It's very charmingly retro.
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So the three of them are stuck in New York in the past, and naturally they would like to leave. There's one person in this time who has a time machine and it is, of course, Reed Richards. Doom and Tony have a lot of banter in this arc; I think it's entertaining.
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Sentry has to be the one to break them all into the Baxter Building because of that power he has where no one will remember him. So they do that, travel forward in time, and end up in Latveria in the present again except Doom is gone and also things are currently exploding where they are.
Doom, of course, has made a side trip to visit Morgan again and he asks her to help him build an army, because I guess this is what their relationship is like. So the rest of the Avengers are captured by what look to me like Mindless Ones and are in a cave in magic bondage, because comics. Jess comments that at least they aren't naked, because she too is remembering that memorable New Avengers trip to the Savage Land. Doom threatens Carol in some creepy sexist ways and eventually it turns out that Tony and the Sentry are fine and everyone kicks Doom's ass. Business as usual.
And the last page of the arc is Morgan alone, wondering where Doom is. So technically Morgan and Tony don't come face to face here, but I think she counts as being at least partially responsible for ruining Tony's day here. And then Secret Invasion happens and Tony has a very, very bad day.
There are a few more Morgan appearances after this, but, as I said, I don't think any of them involve Tony. She shows up in Dark Avengers, apparently, which was one of the post-Civil War Avengers titles I didn't read, and I know that recently, on the X-Men side of things, she's been in Tini Howard's Excalibur one, which I have only read a little of. No Tony there. Just a lot of Morgan and Betsy Braddock and Brian Braddock and the Otherworld.
If you are interested in Morgan's other appearances, you might like this Marvel listicle that is Morgan le Fay's six most malicious acts. I pulled some of the Darkhold backstory from their discussion, but it's not really focused on Morgan and Tony.
So there you have it! That's everything I know about Tony's love for King Arthur and every run-in I know about that he's had with Morgan le Fay! One of two terrible people in Tony's life named Morgan! Actually, I don't think we've seen Morgan Stark in a while. I wonder if he's alive. There should be a Morgan & Morgan team-up. I should probably stop typing and post this.
The tl;dr point is that you should all read Doomquest and its sequels, especially Legacy of Doom. They're great!
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gdcee · 3 years
Text
Road to Nowhere
Pairing: Loki/Sigyn - mild, might have to squint to see it.
Summary: Loki and Sigyn talk while she escorts him to Kid Loki's Kingdom.
Warnings: Panic attack.
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"You know I'm only going to keep pestering you until I have the answer."
"I wish you luck in your endeavour," Sigyn returned coolly, stepping lightly as she began to climb the massive pile of garbage blocking their path. "Nevertheless, my lips remain sealed."
Loki huffed, a slight quirk at the corner of his lips which was not quite a smirk. He set off after her, determined to be the first to the summit of Rubbish Peak.
He had to admit he was quite intrigued by that tantalising crumb of information this Sigyn (so very like and yet not quite like his own) had dangled before him. Of course he was curious about the identity of the lucky bastard who had won her fidelity.
All he had was a preferred pronoun. That at least eliminated half of his (admittedly rather short to begin with) list of possible lucky bastards.
After he had gone through the list (which did not take long because as stated earlier, it was really quite short), he started throwing out random names to see if any of them got a reaction.
No such luck.
His attempts to tease and fluster the information out of her had been just as ineffective.
Her reaction to his puppy dog eyes routine had been...perplexing. He'd gotten one soft, achingly tender smile before a heavy melancholy had descended upon her. Like the dark shadow of a mourning veil stealing the brightness from her eyes and the colour from her cheeks.
She had not reprimanded him, but he made a note not to pull that trick again anyway. Besides the practical reasons for keeping her goodwill (survival, information, mental stimulation), the simple fact was that she was Sigyn.
He didn't want to be the cause of her unhappiness. Not anymore.
Being a harmless annoyance and pest was still perfectly acceptable though.
He stood atop the great mound of refuse, his hands and face smeared with oil and other liquids of questionable origin, grinning triumphantly down at Sigyn. He vanished the grime he'd accumulated before gallantly holding out his hand to her.
Sigyn huffed a soft little laugh, the barest hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth. Without any hesitation, she reached out and allowed him to pull her up.
Loki glanced down to where they had started and noted that it was a long drop. Not nearly enough to kill an Asgardian or a Frost Giant, but enough to hurt.
Trust.
It made him feel as giddy as the first time he'd tasted the enchanted, heady liquid gold that was the mead brewed from honey harvested from the hives of the talking bees that resided near Iðunn's famous apple orchards.
"Ahem."
Loki realised with no small degree of embarrassment that he was still holding Sigyn's hand. He hurriedly worked a spell to remove the dirt under her fingernails and let go. Then to cover up his embarrassment, he resumed pestering.
"I don't understand why the identity of your beau necessitates such secrecy," he sighed with the lightest touch of a pleading whine, "Do you think I would object to your taste? He can't possibly be worse than Theoric."
"I think my life choices are none of your business."
"Exactly! You should forget about my opinion. Shout his name to the world and damn the naysayers and killjoys."
"I would but sadly, Alioth has a sense of hearing."
With that, she picked up a flat sheet of metal lying loose and proceeded to slide down Rubbish Peak on the improvised board. Despite being only at most a quarter Ljósálfar on her mother's side, she moved with their characteristic effortless grace.
Loki peered down, did a couple of quick mental calculations and snapped his fingers. He disappeared from the summit with a flare of green light and reappeared at the bottom no more than a second later in similar fashion.
"Good to see your teleport still works," Sigyn tossed her wind-mussed hair out of her face, "Why didn't you use it earlier to get to the top?"
"Too much debris and no decent eyeline. I didn't want to risk getting stuck under a foot of garbage." He frowned, pondering. "Still works?"
"Not a reference to you personally," she moved forward without looking behind to see if he followed, "Just something I noticed about some of the other Lokis around here."
"Power loss? Nothing to do with you and that coven of other Sigyns whose domain I and the other Lokis are forbidden from entering, I presume?"
"No, I've seen it even in Lokis on their first trepass - if something is limiting their power it's not us. In any case, we would never do anything to permanently disable a Loki's magic. There's just some things you don't do to a fellow mage, you know?"
"You just rough them up a little and kick them off the property?"
"More or less. Except for the kid and alligator."
"Do I want to know how one instance of me ended up as a semi-aquatic Midgardian reptile?"
"You can ask him yourself when we get to the Kid's Kingdom," she paused for a moment, as if she'd just remembered something, "Or maybe not, I think only the old man you knows how to talk to him."
Loki blinked.
"There's an old me?" He asked, disbelieving, "As in a wizened, wrinkled, looks like your grandmother me?"
"Eh, not quite as old as Grandma Hretha. Maybe about 4,000? 5,000?" She shrugged, "Either way, your vanity may rest easy; you look perfectly fine as an old man."
"Thank you for that milquetoast endorsement of my future self's good looks," Loki said dryly, "I was more perturbed about...something else."
Curiouser and curiouser.
How had the aged variant escaped their destined end? How had he managed to grow old before the TVA arrived to arrest him for cheating his final death?
He thought about the tape featuring all the TVA approved highlights of his life.
He thought about that other Loki, the Loki who had played out the role assigned to him and how very young (the same face as his own) and terrified (the same fear as his own) he had looked with the Mad Titan's monstrous hand around his throat.
Loki swallowed thickly and pulled at the collar of his TVA issued office shirt which suddenly seemed far too tight. The tie impeded his work and as he struggled to loosen it he could feel his terror rising up to choke him.
there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he cannot find you
inevitable
you think you know pain?
Inevitable
HE WILL MAKE YOU LONG FOR SOMETHING AS SWEET AS PAIN
He felt his legs buckle and his knees hit the ground as if it were happening to someone else.
"Loki!" Sigyn's voice was close but he heard it as if a great distance separated them, "Loki, breathe."
"What do you think I'm doing?" He wheezed.
"I am going to remove the tie and unfasten your collar," Sigyn continued as if she had not even noticed his rudeness, "I will need to touch you to do this. Alright?"
Needing help for such a pitifully simple task was galling. But he didn't want Sigyn to leave him. Loki managed a shaky nod. He let her ease his trembling, sweaty hands from his shirt collar. With quick, brisk movements she pulled the tie loose and tossed it somewhere to join the rest of the garbage.
"Follow my breathing now." Her voice was clearer to him now, more present. She was kneeling next to him, so close and warm and oh, her hair did still smell like apple blossoms. He watched the regular rise and fall of her chest and tried to match it. "That's it. Very good. Nice and slow."
Her fingers were at his throat for a mercifully short time. Just long enough to pop the top button loose and push the starched fabric away from his neck.
"Stay with me. You're doing very well. Breathe with me. In. And out. In. And out."
Without really thinking he grabbed her hand and pressed her palm against the centre of his chest. Perhaps he was possessed by some irrational notion that the pressure against his breastbone could keep his thundering heart from beating right out of his chest.
She didn't try to pull away. Her hand was warm, even through the shirt fabric. She moved a little, and one of her dainty fingers slipped into the open gap of his unbuttoned collar and brushed against the dip between his clavicles. His breath caught in his throat for a moment before Sigyn's gentle prompting had him matching her rhythm once more.
"Feel better?" She asked after what seemed an eternity.
"Yes," he breathed, "Yes, much." His chest still felt a little tight but the worst of that dreadful episode was over.
"Good." She lifted her hand from his chest and patted his shoulder firmly - a gesture that he had seen Týr bestow upon struggling Einherjar recruits after they'd passed the final leg of their training. "You did very well."
He didn't feel like he'd done anything worth praising. He'd collapsed like a pack of cards. This wasn't the first time he'd experienced terror but every time before now he had been able to push past it - stamp it down through sheer force of will and that primitive, animal part of his brain that knew that danger was never far away.
Why had he folded now? Now - when he was probably the most at ease he'd been in ages (months? Years? How long had it been since New York?) and the threat of Thanos was no longer an issue-
...a terrible thought suddenly occurred to him.
"Just out of curiosity," Loki tried to sound nonchalant, "Have you ever come across a fellow by the name of Thanos here?"
"Thanos?" Sigyn's brows drew together in a frankly rather adorable expression of pure befuddlement.
Ah. Well, at least he could place whatever nexus event had led to her pruning as occurring before Ragnarok and Thanos's massacre of half the Asgardian survivors.
"Big purple fellow," he explained, "Quite ugly, enormous chin, has rather disturbing ideas about resource management."
"Uh, no, I can't say that I've ever met anyone like that here."
"You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"
She quirked an eyebrow. "I can swear on my magic if that would reassure you."
Sigyn had always been very leery about oaths, especially ones bound with magic. Most mages worth their salt were.
And yet...he couldn't really explain why, but he'd always felt like her issues with them were less about best practices and more about some personal grievance.
That she would offer him such a thing...
Loki felt completely undeserving.
"No," he said hurriedly, "No, no, it's fine. I...I trust you."
Sigyn smiled. It was the first real smile he'd seen so far and it was like watching the sun come out from behind a cloud. He didn't know if it would last - if that melancholy from before would snatch away the sweetness of this moment.
So Loki ruined the moment before it could be stolen from him.
"...even though you refuse to tell me about your paramour."
Sigyn scoffed, all exasperation but it was better than seeing her sad.
"You are insufferable."
"Thank you, I do try."
She snorted and shook her head. "Alright, come on, you goose," she helped him up, and even though his legs were slightly shaky, he stood and did not fall. "Our first rest stop is about 20 feet...thereaboutish-" she waved vaguely in the direction of a mostly empty grassy knoll upon which a gaggle of the oddest creatures scurried. They resembled iridescent headless chickens with little purple spheres hovering over their severed necks.
"I still think we should have taken the car."
"Ugh," Sigyn wrinkled her nose, "Cahrs. Nasty, noisy, smelly things. I swear, Midgard really went downhill after those monstrosities were invented. "
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thatphatoven · 3 years
Text
The Little Mechanic
Childe x female mechanic reader
Prologue
A mechanic from Snezhnaya reunites with a childhood friend.
AN; The prologue is a bit confusing since two stories were told at the same time; I did that to make it more interesting and wanted a flashback with your fellow companion. Also, this is my first story that I'm playing around with, so some parts might change, but that really depends.
word count; 1,328
Unedited 
The cold misty morning nipped your skin as the sound of chirping played their familiar melody. Huffing, you leaned forward, gripping the straps of the hefty leather backpack. On the right side of your hip, dangling proud, was the purple electro vision swaying back and forth with your steps. Liyue ruins were bizarrely calm at this hour, with the lack of destruction from the Fatui or the abyss order itching to kill whoever was there. Only nature at its finest reclaiming territory. Grinning, you leaped the last couple of steps; to be greeted by the vast land of mountains as the wind dance around you.
Liyue was definitely different from Snezhnaya.
Instead of the endless snow from Tsaritsa, Rex Lapis gifted Liyue with beautiful forms of rocks, along with historical battles hidden deep in these ruin lands. Anyone greedy for riches only dares to explore these areas, but not you. The badge of a hammer stitched on your newspaper cap tells a different story. You were just a nameless mechanic shooting your shot in a bustling nation. Though not everything comes cheap. Living accommodations were hard enough to pay, but haggling for overpriced supplies was another finance. Besides, why waste time on that when the remains of an old society are available for you to seize.
"Must we walk all this way?" Wheezing, a little blue mage pushed himself to the last step. Leaning forward, the wand in his hand carried half of his weight as he pants in exhaustion. "Sorry, but you know how badly I want to see the view," you spoke. Unclasping your bag from your back, you handed him a bottle of water. "stay hydrated, midget" "I can't have you dying on me now, or I'll have to drag you back to the inn. "
"I hate you."
You smiled at his words as he chugged the remaining drops of water. Meeting Gever was an accidental blessing. Aside from being a full-time mechanic, once in a while, you did some odd commissions from the adventures guild to earn a quick buck, like Lan's request to locate the unseen razor or typically clear out a hilichurl camp. After a yet failed attempt searching for the sword, you witness a hoard of abyss mages hovering over a chest. Doing their usual chants, and rituals one particular was chanting away from the group. How odd.
What was more abnormal was that it didn't have a shield to protect itself. His steps were also off from everyone else; somehow, though, he manages to keep up. Deciding it was time to leave, a blonde-headed girl trek towards them while catching their attention. Startled, they all pointed their wands in her direction, preparing her demise. Throwing shards of ice and water at her, she began her attacks with boulders of rocks as her protection. That abnormal abyss mage watched from its spot. Its body trembles at the sight of its comrades meeting their faith. Suddenly he ran, his little legs pushed forward to your direction, not knowing another human was there, instantly slamming into you.
"Stay back, or I'll hurt you" it pointed the end of its wand at you.
"Hey, greasy! You lost your hearing?" snapping out of your daze; you looked at your companion approaching. "Seriously though, it would be better leaving me back in the inn so that I can be safe from everyone," Gever complained. "If I did, then who else can help me carry all of the chaos circuits?" "Maybe that Guhan nerd?" he grumbled, kicking a pebble out of annoyance.
"He'll bother me with questions and bring that exorcist with him; I can't add more baggage when you fill the entire bag." "And beside the inn will probably send me to the millelith for hosting a little fugitive." "Let's just get this over and done with." sighing, he trek ahead of you, with his shoulder sagging. You followed behind, shaking your head at his actions.
"Hurt me?" crossing your arms; you stared at the abyss mage with boredom. "Don't take this as a joke, you-you stubborn weakling!!!" the mage stomped his feet on the ground, gripping tightly on the staff. "If I remember correctly? I'm not the one who ran away from battle" "Well, uh, because I'm not prepared to fight" "Alright."
You shrugged and turned around from the harmless being and began your journey back to Liyue. "W-wait!" he cried. Dropping on his knees, he wailed, "I know I shouldn't trust a stranger, but also a human. I'm just weak and extremely terrified of being alone." "If you can tell, I can't create a shield, and my chants are weak against a slime nevertheless a magicless civilian." staring back at the field of destruction, the young adventurer stood triumph looting the chest the mages possessively guarded. The fight was an exciting show, especially how a visionless traveler was able to use the power of Geo, but it was the way she played with bladed caught your attention. It wasn't the skill she controls that scared you. Instead, it was the locked-up memories from the past that resurfaced.
The afternoon fell on you and Gever, and the entire time, the little mage complained.
"My feet hurt" "I'm not carrying you."
"Can we take a five-minute break?" "We had one a minute ago."
"Just to let you know, I can't use any cool spells to protect us" "Yes, you told me this before we left."
Shaded under a sunsettia tree, both of you were sitting outside the abandoned laboratory munching on the fruit. The ruins in front of you were notorious for their scrapes and the abandoned research lab for the eleventh harbinger Dottore. The fluid of a sunsettia landed on your blue overalls as you stared at the entrance. Something wasn't right. Signs of other lives indicated you and Gever wouldn't be exploring alone. The path had fresh shoe prints of not only two adults but also a child. If you also look close to the doorway, it was slightly ajar.
"let's go," adjusting the backpack on your shoulders. You helped Gever on his feet as he started his new list of complaints. "Are you sure I should go in? What if a ruin guard squishes me?" "Then I'll replace you with Xingqui" "You are a cruel mechanic." He stuck to your legs as you entered the domain. Whoever was here definitely assist you in lighting the area. Vines covered the walls, with the occasional branches hampering your path. Sounds of the machinery moved in beat, stopping every second only to start again. Once in a while, you pause to loot crates digging for good resources. It was the sound of laughter that made you froze. "We're gonna die!!" Gever, he exclaimed in a whisper. His grasp on your leg tightens much more, frantically searching for the source. "Ignore that; maybe it's just a ruin guard oil that needs to be replaced." You went back to your mini raid. More on edge, the little mage closed his eyes and began his count to ten.
"Teucer!"
The chaos circuit once in your hand fell, now laid on the ground. Your eyes widen at that voice; it held so much mischief and love—Ocen blue eyes. Yes, those innocent pupils that carry the world just for you and him. Shuddering, you grabbed Gever arm and pulled him back to your arrival. If he was here, then more pain will emerge. The mage appeared to be more relieved at your sudden decision. Why was he here? The Fatui long gone don't roam this area mainly for there are way too many active ruin guards alive. The entrance was close, bits of lights shone beneath the door.
"Big sister (Y/N)!"
A cheerful tone paralyzed you. Suddenly more footsteps joined the young boy, a small gasp escape the male behind his brother. Turning around, your eyes met with the same baby blue eyes from all those childhood years ago.
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nerdythebard · 3 years
Text
#7: Anubis, God of the Dead
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Well, now we've done it, Gods and Goddesses!
In our journey through the deserts of Egypt, we took a detour and found ourselves in the Land of the Dead. Now, we are under the watchful eye of Anubis. This psychopomp shall lead us to the Hall of Two Truths, were our soul will judge itself. Let's take a walk, shall we?
Next Time: I AM THE ETERNAL DRAGON! SPEAK YOUR WISH AND I SHALL GRANT IT! Sudden change of plans, dearies... Next time, we take a look at a strapping young lad who knows a thing or two about yard decorations. He got it from his daddy dearest.
So, what can we do to make Anubis chill our enemies to the bone:
Friends on the Other Side: Anubis has a connection to the spirits of the dead. He can grant them a facsimile of life to act on his behalf, damage and slow enemies in a wide AoE.
Crowd Control: Anubis can call upon a plague of locusts to damage enemies in a cone in front of him, as well as keep foes restrained with mummy bandages.
Death Glare: Anubis's Ultimate is a literal death glare, his sight becomes a piercing beam of necrotic energy heavily damaging enemies in front of him.
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Anubis's D&D race is a much more difficult case than I first imagined. Now, there is a race called Khenra
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which would be a dead-ringer for Anubis, but their stats from the Plane Shift: Amonkhet document is... honestly, it's pretty bad and wouldn't make for a nice build.
Instead, let's take a look at the closest we have to a lycanthrope in player options, the Shifter race. More specifically, the Wildhunt Shifter, who are described to often be "the spiritual leaders of the shifter communities", which I'd say fits Anubis pretty well. As a Shifter, we get +2 Wisdom and +1 Dexterity, 30 feet of walking speed, 60 feet of Darkvision, and our only known language is Common. As a Natural Tracker, we get proficiency in Survival skill, and our key trait is our Shifting ability. As a bonus action, we can assume a more beast-like form (in this case, jackal-like). The transformation lasts for 1 minute/until we die/until we dismiss it as a bonus action. When we shift, we get Temporary Hit Points equal to [our level + Constitution modifier], as well as a feature unique to the type of shifter we choose. Wildhunt Shifters gain an advantage on Wisdom checks while shifted, and no creature within 30 feet of them can impose a disadvantage unless the shifter is incapacitated.
For our background, I think picking Acolyte is the most suitable choice. We get proficiencies with Insight and Religion (to better judge the intentions of a soul) and the Shelter of the Faithful feature, which grants us safety at any temple dedicated to the deity we're the acolyte of (either Kelemvor or Jergal are a good option here).
ABILITY SCORES
Anubis is a light armour caster-type, so we're going to focus on those stats. We will start with Dexterity to pull off that leather armour, and follow it with Wisdom; we must be wise in our judgment, and it's also our spellcasting ability. Constitution is next, as it's pretty important for casters to have decent Hit Points.
The stats on the down-low side of things shall be Intelligence, followed by Charisma, and we shall dump Strength.
CLASS
Yet another pure build. To keep the flow of souls at a steady pace and guide them to Osiris's Halls, Anubis is a Cleric.
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As a Cleric, we get the d8 as our Hit Dice, [8 + Constitution modifier] initial Hit Points, proficiencies with light armour, medium armour, shields, and simple weapons. For this I suggest a studded leather armour and a dagger (perhaps like the one Egyptians used in the mummification processes, eh? :D), since this is a primarily spell-heavy build. Our saving throws is Wisdom and Charisma and we get to pick two class skills: let's go for Persuasion and History.
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Level 1 - Clerics are full-casters, so from the very beginning we get our Spellcasting feature. We know cantrips and ritual casting, and we get access to the entire Cleric spell list, from which we can prepare a number of spells equal to [our Wisdom modifier + our Cleric level]. Starting with cantrips, we get to select three:
Guidance lets us give a creature we touch an extra d4 to their next skill check performed within 1 minute of casting (concentration). Very useful for "skill monkeys" like rogues or bards.
Sacred Flame is a good source of radiant damage. It requires a Dexterity saving throw from a target within 60 feet of us, or results in 1d8 radiant damage (damage increases with our level).
Toll the Dead fits Anubis's theme. Calls the soul for their final judgement. Forces onto them a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the target take 1d8 necrotic damage. If they already have some Hit Points missing, they take 1d12 damage instead.
We start with two 1st-level spell slots and we can prepare four 1st-level spells:
Bless gives up to three creatures of our choice an extra d4 to all attack rolls and saving throws for 1 minute (concentration).
Cure Wounds is THE staple healing spell at lower levels, and it reflects Anubis's theme of preparing and embalming the body for their journey to the afterlife. A creature we touch regains [1d8 + our spellcasting modifier] Hit Points. It doesn't work on undead or constructs.
Guiding Bolt deals 4d6 radiant damage and applies advantage to the next attack roll made against the target (it can be ours or somebody else's).
Sanctuary protects a creature from harm for 1 minute. When attacking somebody who's under the effect of Sanctuary, the attacker must make a Wisdom saving throw or choose a different target.
We're not done with Level 1 features yet, because that is also where Clerics get their subclass, their Divine Domain. There are two official subclasses that mention Anubis by name, but for this build I feel like Grave Domain works best. As a Grave Cleric we get access to some more spells - those are always prepared for us and we don't count them against the number of spells we can prepare:
Bane works similarly to Bless, except the target has to make a Charisma saving throw or subtract 1d4 from each attack roll and saving throw they make for 1 minute (concentration).
False Life transforms necromantic energy into a facsimile of life, giving us 1d4+4 Temporary Hit Points for 1 hour (or until they're lost).
Grave Cleric's first subclass feature is Circle of Mortality, which boosts our healing spells. Where normally we would have to roll dice on healing spells (like 1d8 on Curse Wounds), we can instead automatically use the highest number on the die. We also learn Spare the Dying cantrip, which saves a fallen creature from making Death Saves. For us, the cantrip has 30 feet reach instead of touch.
We also get Eyes of the Grave. It works similarly to the Paladin's Divine Sense except this one only shows us the undead present within 60 feet of us.
And that's it for Level 1. Clerics, man... they're early game powerhouses.
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Level 2 - This level gives us access to the Channel Divinity feature, which lets us tap into the Divine Energy of our deity to perform amazing features. For now, we can use it once per short or long rest. All Clerics get the Turn Undead effect - each undead within 30 feet of us must make a Wisdom saving throw or become turned (they cannot move towards us within 30 feet, and must spend their turn trying to move away from us as far as they can) for 1 minute. The Grave Domain gives us another CD effect - Path to the Grave. This effect curses a target of our choice within 30 feet of us, until the end of our next turn. During that time, the next attack that damages a target makes it vulnerable to that damage type (damage dealt increases by half) and the curse ends.
We also get a new spell - Inflict Wounds deals 3d10 necrotic damage on a successful touch.
Level 3 - We unlock 2nd-level spell slots. This means, we can now get a 2nd-level spell: Hold Person forces a Wisdom saving throw on one (or more, if using higher-level spell slots) humanoid target within 60 feet. On a failed save the target is paralysed for 1 minute (concentration). Flavour it as mummy bandages and we've got one Anubis ability down.
Our subclass also grants us two spells at this point:
Gentle Repose prevents a corpse from decay and turning into an undead (suck it, Ah Puch!). Useful if you cannot afford the resurrection of one of your party members, but besides that, it's pretty situational.
Ray of Enfeeblement is like a demo version of Anubis's Ultimate. On a successful hit, the target's damage that uses Strength deals only half the normal amount for 1 minute (concentration).
Level 4 - Time for our first Ability Score Improvement! Let's get some better HP with 1 point in Constitution, and we'll put the other point in Wisdom.
We get another cantrip: Thaumaturgy gives a list of multiple effects we can perform for, lasting for 1 minute (making our voice louder, dimming and brightening lights, locking and unlocking doors and windows, etc.)
We also get another spell: Blindness/Deafness forces a Constitution saving throw on one creature within 30 feet. If they fail, they are blinded or deafened (our choice) for 1 minute. They can repeat the saving throw on each of their turns to try and shake off the effect.
Level 5 - At this level, our Turn Undead becomes Destroy Undead. It works only on the undead with the CR of 1/2 and below (shadows, zombies, skeletons, etc.), but if they fail their saving throw, they are instantly destroyed.
We also unlock 3rd-level spell slots and spells: Speak with Dead lets us reanimate a corpse for a short while (10 minutes), enough to ask it five questions. The dead can answer only what they knew in life, and the answers are usually brief/cryptic. They may also lie if we're the one that killed them, or they're hostile in general.
Additionally, we get two more spells from our subclass:
Revivify might go against Anubis's ways, but it is a staple Cleric spell. Sacrificing a diamond worth at least 300 gold pieces, we bring a creature who died within the last minute to life with 1 Hit Point. The spell doesn't restore missing body parts.
Vampiric Touch lets us deal 3d6 necrotic damage to a creature we can touch, and give us the same amount of Hit Points. Until the spell ends (1 minute, concentration), we can use the spell again as action without a need to make a spell attack.
Level 6 - Our Channel Divinity has now two uses between rests, and we gain a new subclass upgrade. Sentinel at Death's Door is one of the more annoying features in all of D&D (speaking from the DM's point of view here). Whenever a creature within 30 feet of us is attacked with a Critical Hit (Natural 20 roll, doubles damage dealt), we can use our reaction to cancel that critical and turn it into regular damage.
Spirit Guardians is a spell that summons a horde of spirits in a 15 feet radius from us. We can select who is unaffected by the spirits when we cast it. Those who are affected have their speed halved, and whenever they end their turn within the spirits' radius (and first time walk into it) must make a Wisdom saving throw or take 3d8 radiant damage (if we're good/neutral; if we're evil, it's necrotic. Half damage on a successful save).
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Level 7 - Here, we only unlock 4th-level spell slots.
We get two more subclass spells: Banishment forces a Charisma saving throw on one target within 60 feet. On a failed save, the target disappears from the Plane it resides on. (right into the Shadow Realm! Egyptian Underworld) If the target isn't native to the Plane it disappeared from, it returns to its home Plane. If the target is native to the Plane it disappeared from, it gets transported into a pocket demiplane. If nothing interrupts our concentration for the entire duration of the spell (1 minute), the banished target doesn't come back (non-native), or it returns to the same space (native).
We also have subclass spells here:
Blight drains vitality from one creature within 30 feet of us. They must succeed on a Constitution saving throw, or take 8d8 necrotic damage (half damage on a successful save). It doesn't work on the undead or constructs, but if the target is a plant creature or a magical plant, it makes the save with disadvantage and receives the maximum possible amount of damage (64). If the target is a non-magical plant, it doesn't make a save - just withers instantly.
Death Ward prevents a person's death before their scheduled time. A creature we touch gains protection against being killed for 8 hours. If they drop to 0 Hit Points, they immediately recover one point. Any effect that causes instant death (such as a trap, a curse, or even Power Word: Kill) is also blocked.
Level 8 - We get another ASI. Let's get a +1 Wisdom and +1 Constitution again.
Because of our Wisdom modifier changing from 3 to 4, we now can get two new spells at this level. For this, I'd actually suggest taking just one spell and ask your DM whether we can save the remaining one for later. Otherwise, pick any throwaway spell to replace later.
Guardian of Faith summons a Large-sized spectre at a point within 30 feet of us for 8 hours (no concentration). Any creature moving within 10 feet of the guardian must make a Dexterity saving throw or take 20 points of (unspecified) damage (half damage on a success). The guardian disappears after dealing a total of 60 points of damage.
Level 9 - We unlock 5th-level spells here. If we have an empty spell from the previous level, we can now take two spells here. Plus, we also get two spells from our subclass!
Greater Restoration is a great healing spell. It is able to remove one curse/petrification/charm/reduction of Hit Points Maximum on top of removing one level of exhaustion. Really useful.
Insect Plague basically lets us re-enact the Prince of Egypt. We fill a 20-foot-radius sphere with a swarm of buzzing, biting locust. All creatures within the sphere have to make a Constitution saving throw or take 4d10 piercing damage (half damage on a successful one). This saving throw must also be done when entering the sphere or ending the turn in it.
Now, for the spells from our subclass:
Antilife Shell creates a 10-foot-radius dome around us. It lasts for 1 hour (concentration) and during that time, nothing organic/alive can enter the barrier. Only undead and constructs can get through. It also lets in projectiles and spells.
Raise Dead is what happens when Anubis says 'I quit'. The spell targets one corpse that died within the last 10 days and brings it back to life with 1 Hit Point. The raised creature gets post-resurrectional penalty of -4 to all of their saving throws, attack rolls, and ability checks. The penalty is reduced by 1 for each long rest taken.
Level 10 - Halfway through the build and we receive one of the Cleric's best feature. With Divine Intervention we can petition our patron deity to directly help us with a problem. We roll a percentile dice and if the result is equal to or lower than our Cleric level, the prayer is successful. The interpretation of 'divine help' is up to our DM; it can be a vision, a single-use spell that's gonna be helpful, etc. If the prayer is successful, we cannot use this feature for a week. If the prayer fails, we can try again after finishing a long rest.
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We get our final cantrip: Word of Radiance is a good anti-close range spell. It forces a Constitution saving throw on all creatures within 5 feet of us, and deals 1d6 radiant damage on a failed one (damage scales as we level up).
For our next spell, Holy Weapon infuses our weapon with divine energy for 1 hour (concentration). The weapon sheds bright light in 30 feet radius (and dim light for another 30), it becomes magical for the purpose of overcoming resistances, and all successful attacks deal extra 2d8 radiant damage for the whole duration of the spell.
Level 11 - Our Destroy Undead effect of Channel Divinity gets enhanced. It now affects undead with a CR of 2 or lower (ghouls, spectres, poltergeists, will-o'-wisps, etc.).
We also gain access to 6th-level spells. Find the Path represents Anubis's role as a guide of souls. It can last up to 1 day (concentration) and allows us to find the shortest and most direct path to a location we name that we're familiar with.
Level 12 - Time for another ASI! First, let's round up our Constitution to a nice, even number, and then let's start boosting our weaker abilities by raising our Charisma.
For this level's spell, Planar Ally allows us to summon an otherworldly minion (celestial, elemental, or fiend), which we could ask to carry out a small task in exchange for payment. The creature is under no obligation to listen to us but can be bargained with.
Level 13 - We don't get a class feature this time, only unlock 7th-level spell slots. With Etherealness, we can step into the spirit world for a brief amount of time (up to 8 hours, no concentration). While inside the Ethereal Plane, we can only interact with creatures from that plane. We see and hear into the Plane we departed from and can move in any direction (moving up and down costs +1 foot for every foot of movement). We can also pass through objects and walls of the Material Plane.
Level 14 - We have upgrade to our Destroy Undead effect. It can now affect the undead with a CR of 3 or lower (mummies, wights, phantom warriors, etc.).
With Regenerate, we restore one target's health by 4d8+15 Hit Points. Following that, for 1 hour the target recovers 1 Hit Point per turn (10 HP per minute) until reaching their Hit Point Maximum. The spell also regrows missing organs and limbs 2 minutes after casting.
Level 15 - Once again, no new class features. We do unlock 8th-level spell slots. Antimagic Field creates a 10-foot-radius invisible sphere, where no magic can exist; spells fizzle out, summoned creatures disappear, magic items become regular. When you stand before the final judgment, no magic will help you.
Level 16 - We get another ASI. Let's raise our Charisma and Strength.
Although we do have access to 8th-level spells now, we can back up for a moment and take Planar Shift. This spell lets us travel into another Plane of Existence, as long as we a metal rod worth at least 250 gold pieces and is attuned to our desired destination. The spell transports us, along with up to eight willing creatures. Alternatively, we can banish a creature within our melee range into the particular Plane, granted they fail a Charisma saving throw.
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Level 17 - This is a big one. First of all, our Destroy Undead reaches another upgrade, allowing us to disintegrate undead with a CR of 4 or lower (the banshee, ghosts, flameskulls, deathlocks, etc.).
We also get our final subclass upgrade - Keeper of Souls. If a creature we can see dies within 60 feet of us, we can choose another creature we can see within 60 feet and restore their Hit Point by the now-deceased enemy's remaining Hit Dice. We can use this feature once per turn.
At this level, we also unlock the pinnacle of Divine Magic - 9th-level spells. True Resurrection can restore a creature who has been dead for no longer than 200 years back to life with a full amount of Hit Points. The spell closes wounds, restores missing limbs, lifts curses, and neutralizes poison and disease. It turns undead into their non-undead form. If there is no body to resurrect, the spell can provide a new body for the soul to inhabit. The only thing the spell cannot restore is if death came from old age.
Level 18 - Our Channel Divinity feature can now be used three times in-between rest.
Mass Heal is a powerful restorative spell, which targets all creatures within 60 feet of us. We can restore a total of 700 Hit Points, divided evenly between all creatures affected, who are also healed from all diseases as well as blindness or deafness. The spell doesn't work on constructs and undead.
Level 19 - We get our final ASI of this build. Before the final boss battle, let's boost our Constitution by 2.
Gate creates a portal linked into another Plane of Existence. We can determine a specific destination by naming a location in the target Plane. The portal lasts for 1 minute (concentration). Alternatively, we can name a creature we know resides in the target Plane and pull them through the portal into our location.
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(yes, Doctor Strange is a Cleric in D&D terms, fight me!)
Level 20 - Our build capstone is Divine Intervention Improvement. At this level, whenever we decide to use our Divine Intervention hotline, the prayer is always successful, without a need to roll.
For our final spell, we get Astral Projection
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The spell makes us and eight willing creatures go on a trip into the Astral Sea. Our soul leaves the body (which is in suspended animation, requiring no food, air, and doesn't age) and enters the dimension of pure thought and psychic energy. There is a series of rules in the spell description, but it can be used to survey other planes of existence by entering the right colourful portal.
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And that's the end of it. Anubis, the Egyptian psychopomp. Let's see how we did:
We have good abilities, two 18s and a 16 where it counts, average Hit Points of 151 and 15 AC with studded leather armour. We're not the designated HealBot, but we have a few good higher-level healing spells for when things go sour.
Can't wait to show you folks the next one. I have a feeling some of you might enjoy it!
- Nerdy out!
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masterweaverx · 3 years
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Part of the fun of these character builds is taking absolutely ridiculous characters and making them work in the context of D&D. So today I’ll be looking at Makuta Teridax, from Bionicle. That’s right, I’m expanding my palette a bit!
So Makuta Teridax is a Makuta. Which means he’s a shape-shifting robot with the elemental power of shadow, a unique shadow hand, a bit of telepathy, the ability to make Kraata and Rhakshi from himself... and, oh, fourty-two seperate Kraata Powers. Which he, himself, can also use. Also he has the mask of Shadows. Yeah, Bionicle was a wacky setting, all things told. Basically, we’re going to have to go Full Caster, with some unusual considerations.
Since we’re going Full Caster, that means we’ll be using the point buy system--all six stats start at 8, and you have 27 points to spend to up them, at a rate of 1 point for one improvement up to 13 and then 2 points per improvement after. That means upping a stat to 15 costs nine points total--and we’re going to be upping Intelligence and Wisdom to 15 to maximize our spell power. That leaves us nine points to split between Constitution and Charisma--five to Constitution, upping it to 13, because Constitution is both the ‘health’ and the ‘concentration’ stat, and 4 to Charisma, upping it to 12, because when a Makuta speaks, you listen. And Teridax is the leader of the Makuta...
Bionicle characters are biomechanical and you know what, so are Warforged! Yes I know the Makuta are actually living gas clouds in airtight armor but (1) they weren’t always that and (2) this is Flavor/Mechanics oriented, not accuracy oriented. Anyway, as an Envoy Warforged specifically, Teridax gets +1 to Constitution and +1 to two other stats--which are of course going to be Intelligence and Wisdom, since those are going to be our casting abilities.
All Warforged have Integrated Protection--instead of wearing armor, they can switch between ‘modes’ they’re proficient in every long rest, great for a shapeshifter. There’s also Warforged Resilience, which makes him immune to disease, resistant to poison, renders eating and drinking and even breathing unnecessary, and makes him impossible to put to sleep magically. Speaking of which he also has Sentry’s rest, which means on a long rest he just goes inert for six hours without going unconscious.
Envoy Warforged in particular have a few other advantages. Their Specialized Design gives them a Skill Proficiency and a Tool Proficiency, and since we’re not going to get it anywhere else Teridax is going to pick Intimidation and Thieves’ tools. And they have an Integrated Tool--they can select one tool they’re proficient with, and not only is it part of their body but they have expertise with it. I don’t think it’s too much of a spoiler to say that the tool, in this case, is a Disguise Kit--because Teridax is going to get proficiency in disguise kits from his background.
And what background is that? Why, Charlatan, of course! Free with proficiencies in Deception, Sleight of Hand, Disguise Kits, and Forgery Kits. It also has the False Identity feature, allowing Makuta Teridax to take on another persona (like say, Turaga Dume), and have all the paperwork on hand to prove that, no really, he’s Turaga Dume! Pay no attention to that sphere in the corner. He’s also really great at forgery of documents.
And now comes the tricky bit: getting 42 Kraata powers, plus all the other abilities Teridax has, onto a spell list. Doing that meant I had to multiclass, pick specific subclasses for each class, allow each class to meet a minimum level, and amp two different stats to their max. It was incredibly tricky, but through some very, VERY careful selection, I pulled it off. Mostly. The Elasticity Kraata Power just couldn’t fit, sorry about that. But everything else, I packed in! Are you ready for this?
Three levels in Tempest Domain Cleric...
...then seventeen levels in Nature Theurgy Wizard.
Okay, so before I explain the subclasses, I’m going to go over the standard class abilities. Clerics have proficiency in light and medium armor, shields and simple weapons, and Wisdom and Charisma saving throws. They get two skill proficiencies--I chose History and persuasion--and at three levels their big thing is just... Channel Divinity. Which I’ll get to in a moment.
Wizards, on the other hand, get Arcane Recovery, which lets them regain spell slots on a short rest once per day up to a total of half their wizard level rounded up. That’s 9 points here, so you can get three third level spell slots, or a fourth and a fifth, or five first and two second... but you can’t get seventh, eighth, or ninth spell slots back, presumably for balance reasons. The Wizard class is also where we’ll get our four Ability Score Increases, for a total of eight points to spread among ability scores--and putting four each in Wisdom and Intelligence lets us have the MAXIMUM SPELL POWER for this combination. Trust me, preparing Spells is important for clerics, and for wizards.
So now let’s talk about the Tempest Domain. Teridax gets proficiency in Heavy Armor and Martial Weapons from it, as well as Wrath Of The Storm--which means if somebody rushes in and hits him, he can use a reaction to force the creature to make a dexterity saving throw or suffer 2d8 Lightning/Thunder damage. And he can do this five times per long rest. Of course, it also gives him a Channel Divinity option; once per rest, Teridax can either Turn Undead (making them run away from him in fear), Harness Divine Power (regaining a spell slot of first, second, or third level), or unleash the power of a Destructive Wave (automatically rolling maximum for Lightning or Thunder damage).
And now... Theurgy Wizard. What does it do, you might ask? Well, it basically hybridizes Cleric and Wizard classes. A Theurgy Wizard takes a Cleric Domain--in this case, Nature--and those spells are considered Wizard spells for purposes of what they can learn. They also get some of the Domain’s cleric benefits--not the eighth level one, or any weapon or armor proficiencies from the first level, but at level seventeen, they have everything else.
Including Channel Arcana, which is slightly different from Channel Divinity. For one thing, Teridax can do it twice per rest, instead of just once. For another, the options are either Divine Arcana, giving +2 to his next spell’s attack roll or save DC, or Charm Animals and Plants, which... charms animals and plants within 30 feet for up to a minute.
Acolyte of Nature means that Teridax has proficiency in Animal Handling and a single druid Cantrip, which we’ll get back to in a moment. Dampen Elements means that, as a reaction, he can give himself or anybody in 30 feet resistance to an attack that hit them if that attack did acid, cold, fire, lightning, or thunder damage--very useful in a world where a good portion of the population has elemental powers. And Master of Nature means that he can take a bonus action to tell critters that are charmed by his Channeled Arcana what to do on their next turn.
And now, at last, we get to the spells. BUT FIRST! Let’s calculate this all out. Since Clerics and Wizards are both full casters, Teridax has all the spell slots--4 first level slots, 3 second-through-fifth level slots each, 2 sixth and seventh level slots, and one slot for eighth and ninth levels.
Clerics can prepare a number of spells equal to their level plus their Wisdom modifer--so 3+5--up to a level determined by their cleric level--in this case, up to second level. They also automatically have spells prepared from their domain, which don’t count toward the previous limit; while it’s only up to the level they can learn, it’s still an extra four spells.
Wizards, on the other hand, learn six spells at first level and two spells every level thereafter, so at level 17 that’s 38 spells. Granted, they only prepare their level plus their intelligence bonus a day, which is 22 spells from that 38 spell list, but hey! That’s on top of the 12 prepared spells of a cleric
And Teridax also has five Wizard Cantrips, 3 Cleric Cantrips, and 1 Druid Cantrip from Nature Theurgy. Which segues well into why I picked Nature Theurgy--I needed a LOT of wizard levels for most of these spells, but I also needed some Cleric levels for some spells wizards couldn’t get, and some Druid spells that neither class could get on their own. And most of the low-level spells I needed that come in a cleric domain actually are from the tempest domain, but the Nature domain has high-level spells from the druid list... hence, Nature Theurge.
So with all that said: The list below covers the spells Makuta Teridax has, and what abilities they correspond to. Spells from Cleric, Cleric Domain, or Druid List use Wisdom; Spells from Wizard or Wizard Theurgy list use Intelligence. The listed Cleric spells are considered always prepared; Teridax selects 22 of the listed Wizard and Theurgy spells every long rest.
The Makuta Power Shadow Hand has 2 component spells: Lightning Lure and Soul Cage. The Makuta Powers Project Voice Through Shadows and Telepathy have the same spell: Telepathy.
The Kraata Power Density Control has 2 component spells: Gaseous Form and Investiture of Stone. The Kraata Power Insect Control has 2 component spells: Infestation and Insect Plague. The Kraata Power Plant Control has 2 component spells: Plant Growth and Grasping Vine. The Kraata Power Rahi Control has 2 component spells: Animal Friendship and Dominate Beast. The Kraata Power Weather Control has 2 component spells: Control Weather and Fog Cloud.
The Kraata Power Stasis Field has 2 component spells: Hold Person and Hold Monster. The Kraata Power Teleportation has 2 component Spells: Misty Step and Teleportation.
The Kraata Powers Fire Resistence and Ice Resistance have the same spell: Protection from Energy. The Kraata Power Elasticity has no component spells, due to not really having a good match and most of its benefits being covered in other spells.
Cantrips: 5 from Wizard, 3 from Cleric, 1 from Druid for Nature Theurgy -Chill Touch [Wizard] --Shadow Blasts (MAKUTA) -Fire Bolt [Wizard] --Heat Vision (Kraata Power) -Infestation [Druid] --Insect Control (Kraata Power) -Lightning Lure [Wizard] --Shadow Hand (MAKUTA) -Mending [Cleric] --Forge Tools (MAKUTA) -Sacred Flame [Cleric] --Laser Vision (Kraata Power) -Thunderclap [Wizard] --Sonics (Kraata Power) -Thaumaturgy [Cleric] --Control world mechanics (MAKUTA) -True Strike [Wizard] [Concentration] --Accuracy (Kraata Power)
1st-4 Slots -Animal Friendship [Wizard Theurgy] --Rahi Control (Kraata Power) -Cause Fear [Wizard] [Concentration] --Fear (Kraata Power) -Command [Cleric] --Terrorize (MASK OF SHADOWS) -Cure Wounds [Cleric] --Quick Healing (Kraata Power) -Fog Cloud [Cleric Domain] [Concentration] --Weather Control (Kraata Power) -Inflict Wounds [Cleric] --Protosteel Armor (MAKUTA) -Ray of Sickness [Wizard] --Poison (Kraata Power) -Sense Emotion [Wizard] [Concentration] --Sense Moral Darkness (MASK OF SHADOWS) -Sleep [Wizard] --Sleep (Kraata Power) -Thunderwave [Cleric Domain] --Power Scream (Kraata Power) -Witch Bolt [Wizard] [Concentration] --Electricity (Kraata Power
2nd-3 Slots -Blindness/Deafness [Cleric] --Enshadow (MASK OF SHADOWS) -Crown of Madness [Wizard] [Concentration] --Anger (Kraata Power) -Darkness [Wizard] [Concentration] --Darkness (Kraata Power) -Detect Thoughts [Wizard] [Concentration] --Mind Reading (Kraata Power) -Enhance Ability [Cleric] [Concentration] --Adaptation (Kraata Power) -Gust of Wind [Cleric Domain] [Concentration] --Vacuum (Kraata Power) -Hold Person [Cleric] [Concentration] --Stasis Field (Kraata Power) -Immovable Object [Wizard] --Gravity (Kraata Power) -Invisibility [Wizard] [Concentration] --Chameleon (Kraata Power) -Locate Object [Cleric] [Concentration] --Sense through Shadows (MASK OF SHADOWS) -Misty Step [Wizard] --Teleportation (Kraata Power) -Shatter [Cleric Domain] --Fragmentation (Kraata Power) -Silence [Cleric] [Concentration] --Silence (Kraata Power) -Spider Climb [Wizard] [Concentration] --Magnetism (Kraata Power)
3rd-3 Slots -Gaseous Form [Wizard] [Concentration] --Density Control (Kraata Power) -Haste [Wizard] [Concentration] --Dodge (Kraata Power) -Major Image [Wizard] [Concentration] --Illusion (Kraata Power) -Melf's Minute Meteors [Wizard] [Concentration] --Plasma (Kraata Power) -Plant Growth [Wizard Theurgy] --Plant Control (Kraata Power) -Protection from Energy [Wizard] [Concentration] --Fire Resistance (Kraata Power) --Ice Resistance (Kraata Power) -Slow [Wizard] [Concentration] --Slow (Kraata Power) -Vampiric Touch [Wizard] [Concentration] --Hunger (Kraata Power)
4th-3 Slots -Confusion [Wizard] [Concentration] --Confusion (Kraata Power) -Dominate Beast [Wizard Theurgy] [Concentration] --Rahi Control (Kraata Power) -Grasping Vine [Wizard Theurgy] [Concentration] --Plant Control (Kraata Power) -Summon Greater Demon [Wizard] [Concentration] --Create Kraata/Rhakshi
5th-3 Slots -Hold Monster [Wizard] [Concentration] --Stasis Field (Kraata Power) -Insect Plague [Wizard Theurgy] [Concentration] --Insect Control (Kraata Power) -Passwall [Wizard] --Molecular Disruption (Kraata Power)
6th-2 Slots -Chain Lightning [Wizard] --Chain Lightning (Kraata Power) -Disintegrate [Wizard] --Disintegration (Kraata Power) -Investiture of Stone [Wizard] [Concentration] --Density Control (Kraata Power) -Soul Cage [Wizard] --Shadow Hand (MAKUTA)
7th-2 Slots -Teleportation [Wizard] --Teleportation (Kraata Power) -Whirlwind [Wizard] [Concentration] --Cyclone (Kraata Power)
8th-1 Slots -Control Weather [Wizard] [Concentration] --Weather Control (Kraata Power) -Telepathy [Wizard] --Project Voice Through Shadow (MAKUTA) --Telepathy (MAKUTA)
9th-1 Slots -Invulnerability [Wizard] [Concentration] --Limited Invulnerability (Kraata Power) -Shapechange [Wizard] [Concentration] --Shapeshifting (Kraata Power)
And I mean... LOOK AT THAT LIST OF SPELLS. It’s ridiculous. Bionicle is an amazing setting, sure, but this is insane! Even if Teridax burns through all his spells, he’s still got nine cantrips--NINE! With a lot of effects! That he can use to attack the petty heroes coming after him.
So yeah, that’s Makuta Teridax.
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grailfinders · 3 years
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Fate and Phantasms #111: Irisviel (Holy Grail)
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Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re making the holy grail herself, Irisviel von Einzbern! Iri’s most well known for her healing abilities, but she can still surprise you.
Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!
Next up: Your cup runneth over again, but in a slightly less Destroying Humanity kinda way.
Lineage and Background
I’m almost getting tired of using Protector Aasimar for half-god characters, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t fit her. This lineage gives you +2 Charisma and +1 Wisdom, as well as some Darkvision, Celestial Resistance to necrotic and radiant damage, Healing Hands to start off your healing skills right, and the Light cantrip, using your charisma.
You’re not that far away from the rest of civilization, but I’d say literally being the holy grail probably didn’t help your social life. That’s enough of a justification for being a Hermit, I think. This gives you Religion and Arcana proficiencies, as well as one juicy secret directly from the DM themself.
Ability Scores
Good news! You’re a really nice person. Also, Charisma is your main casting ability, so we’re making that really strong. Your Wisdom is pretty good-you’re a mom, you have eyes in the back of your head, you know how it be. You’re also part omniscient wish-granting cup, so your Intelligence isn’t half bad either. After that is Dexterity, you’re not really wearing armor, not getting hit is pretty vital to your survival. Your Constitution isn’t great but we try not to dump that if we can. The same can’t be said for your Strength- it isn’t very useful in this build, and you’re definitely not in the same niche as Jalter.
Class Levels
1. Sorcerer 1: Yes your power comes from the holy grail, but it comes from you being the holy grail. That’s a Divine Soul Sorcerer if I ever saw one. That makes you Favored by the Gods, letting you add 2d4 to a failed saving throw or attack once per short rest. “Please don’t let me get hit by that fireball” is a pretty easy wish to grant. You also get proficiency with Constitution and Charisma saves, as well as two skills. Persuasion and Insight should help you keep Illya in line.
You can also cast Spells, using Charisma as your casting ability. On top of the normal sorcerer spells, your Divine Magic lets you grab spells from the cleric spell list, including Cure Wounds as a freebie.
For your other spells, grab Friends to strengthen your mom stare, Control Flames for a bit of that elemental nonsense from the end of the zero event, Prestidigitation for the hell of it, and Mending so you can heal inanimate objects as well. You can also Bless up to three creatures for up to a minute, giving them an extra d4 for attack rolls and saving throws. You should also grab Mage Armor so you don’t die.  The Dress of Heaven gives you a lot of things, but AC isn’t one of them.
2. Sorcerer 2: Second level sorcerers become a Font of Magic, giving you a number of sorcery points equal to your level. As a bonus action you can spend sorcery points to make new spell slots, or spend a spell slot to make more sorcery points.
You can also cast Purify Food and Drink now, to clean up all the grail mud.
3. Sorcerer 3: Third level sorcerers can use Metamagic to customize their casting. Irisviel can cast Quickened Spells, reducing the casting time of a spell from an action to a bonus action, or Twinned Spells, casting a single-target spell to two targets instead. Turns out being part grail gives you an edge over traditional mages.
This is also the level your Radiant Soul takes effect, letting you transform as an action once per long rest. It lasts a minute, giving you a flying speed for the duration, and letting you add radiant damage to your attacks and spells once per turn. The extra damage isn’t super useful, but you’re a literal angel now!
To celebrate, you can also say a Prayer of Healing to heal your party all at once.
4. Sorcerer 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to round up your Wisdom and Charisma. More Healing, and later more healing! What’s not to love?
You can cast Guidance this level to add a d4 to a creature’s next check as a cantrip, or Enhance Ability to help grant some ability check-related wishes.
5. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers get third level spells, but they also get Magical Guidance. When you fail an ability check, you can re-roll the check by spending a sorcery point.
You can also cast Daylight now, shining light out from either a point or object you choose and dispelling magical darkness.
6. Sorcerer 6: Sixth level divine sorcerers have Empowered Healing- whenever a nearby creature is healed by a spell, you can spend a sorcery point to re-roll any dice in that spell, once per turn.
To make the most of that feature, you can now cast Mass Healing Word, to heal six creatures as a bonus action.
7. Cleric 1: Being a cleric and divine sorcerer causes a bit of an overlap, but come on-you are the holy grail, after all. As a Life Domain cleric, you get another set of Spells that use your Wisdom to cast. You’re also a Disciple of Life, giving extra healing based on the level of your healing spells.
(You also get heavy armor proficiency, but let’s just ignore that.)
Speaking of spells, you can cast the cantrips Resistance, Spare the Dying, and Word of Radiance now, and you can also prepare 1st level cleric spells, including your domain spells Bless and Cure Wounds. They’re not as strong as your sorcerer spells, but if you need something weirder like Create or Destroy Water or Ceremony you don’t have to commit as much as your sorcery spell list.
8. Cleric 2: Second level clerics can Channel Divinity once per short rest to either Turn Undead or Preserve Life. The former forces a wisdom save (of 8 + your proficiency bonus + your wisdom modifier) or they’re forced to run away from you until they take damage. The latter lets you heal five times your cleric level to any creatures within 30′ of you, but only up to half their HP, as an action.
9. Cleric 3: At this level, you learn how to use Lesser Restoration for healing status effects, and you can trace swords thanks to your Spiritual Weapon.
10. Cleric 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity so you don’t have to worry about dying quite as much. You can also cast Thaumaturgy, because we’re running out of cantrips.
11. Cleric 5: Your Turn Undead becomes Destroy Undead, instantly killing any undead of cr 1/2 or lower who fail their wisdom save. You can also cast third level spells, like Beacon of Hope to maximize your healing and Revivify to bring others back to life. Death is generally pretty permanent in Fate, but you’re the grail you do what you want.
12. Cleric 6: Your final level of cleric lets you use Channel Divinity twice per short rest, and you become a Blessed Healer. Whenever you heal another creature, you also regain a bit of HP.
13. Sorcerer 7: Back in sorcerer, you can finally cast fourth level spells! Aura of Life gives those around your resistance to necrotic damage, and your allies regain 1 HP if they start their turn in the aura with 0 hp. One HP is always a lot when it’s the difference between consciousness and having to make a death save, but combining that with Disciple of Life will give them just a bit more breathing room.
14. Sorcerer 8: Speaking of not dying, use this ASI to get a bit of Constitution for a retroactive 14 bonus HP. A lot of casters are pretty squishy, but there’s limits to what you should have to put up with.
You can also cast a Death Ward on a creature to give them their own guts, preventing them from reaching 0 HP or dying once in the next 8 hours.
15. Sorcerer 9: Grab Mass Cure Wounds as your first fifth level spell to get the most out of all your healing bonuses.
16. Sorcerer 10: Tenth level sorcerers get another Metamagic option- Extended Spell will help you get the most out of Death Wards and Auras.
Your newest spells don’t benefit from this, but Gust and Greater Restoration are still great picks, giving you a bit more elemental control as well as taking care of more stubborn status effects.
17. Sorcerer 11: Your first and only sixth level spell is Heal, for, y’know, healing. It heals a flat 70 HP, and ends blindness, deafness, and disease. 
18. Sorcerer 12: Use your last ASI to bump up your Dexterity one last time for an even better AC.
19. Sorcerer 13: Your final spell of the build is multiple choice! Investiture of Flame, Ice, Stone, or Wind will let you take on one of your Elemental personas from the event. Flame deals damage to creatures near you, makes you immune to fire and resist cold damage, and you can use your action to launch gouts of fire at your enemies. Ice makes you immune to cold and resist fire damage, the area around you is difficult terrain for anyone who isn’t you, and you can use your action to blast freezing cold. Stone gives you resistance to nonmagical weapons, you can use your action to create earthquakes, and you can pass through earth-based difficult terrain or solid stone normally. Finally, Wind causes disadvantage on ranged attacks against you, you gain a flying speed, and you can use your action to make windstorms that push creatures and deal bludgeoning damage.
20. Sorcerer 14: Your capstone level gives you an Angelic Form, using your bonus action to create a pair of wings that give you a flying speed until you dismiss them.
Pros: 
You’re really good at healing your party, with multiple features to maximize your healing spells, and metamagic to fit as many of them into a turn as possible. 
Flight is incredibly useful for casters, as it significantly reduces the number of enemies that can hurt you. It also lets you ignore difficult terrain as you move between teammates. 
Thanks to Blessed Healer and your metamagic, you won’t have to make as many choices between healing yourself and healing your party. 
Cons:
You have very low hp, so you’re in danger of getting destroyed by surprise attacks from martial classes or getting hit with a Power Word Kill.
You don’t have too many spells with Concentration, but you do have enough to make your low constitution a bit of an issue.
Your low strength means you might be getting pushed around by beefier enemies.
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tigerkirby215 · 3 years
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5e Rakan, the Charmer build (League of Legends)
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(Artwork by Riot Games)
Happy day after Valentine's Day friends. I wrote this build in August, and a lot has happened to my little bird twink during that time. Along with a damn good new skin (and you know: new season) he’s become one of the more sought out supports in pro play. Also I got him to Mastery 5 at time of writing (December 13th, 2020.) Who knows: I might update this little blurb to say I got him to a higher mastery.
Sadly I don’t have a Xayah to duo queue with. But I’m always ready to be the support that you need~ 💓
GOALS
Am I not magnificent? - Rakan’s title is literally “the charmer.” Of course we’re gonna need some charms.
War is in the dance - With an ability called “Battle Dance” we’ll need to be quick on our feat, dashing around our foes and popping them up with a Grand Entrance.
Nothing's fun without risk - While he may not be the best enchanter Rakan has a ton of heals and shields for both himself and his allies.
RACE
Rakan is half bird, but he doesn’t do a lot of flying which leaves Aarakocra out of the picture. He’s also incredibly chatty (holy shit have you seen how many voice lines Xayah and Rakan have?) so Kenku is definitely not an option. So when in Rome as a furry look no further than a Shifter.
All Shifters have Darkvision and their Shifting ability to gain temporary hitpoints, but everything else is determined by their subrace: to be ever quick and ever charming go for a Swiftstride. As a Swiftstride Shifter your Dexterity increases by 2 and your Charisma increases by 1. You are Graceful and have proficiency with the Acrobatics skill, and your Shifting feature lets you get down with The Quickness, moving 10 feet faster and being able to move 10 feet as a reaction if an enemy ends their turn within 5 feet of you, all while not provoking oppertunity attacks!
ABILITY SCORES
15; WISDOM - Rakan is all about the spirit of the wild and the subtle magic of nature. Wait Nature and Arcana are Intelligence skills? Uhhhhh... 
14; INTELLIGENCE - Rakan certainly doesn’t show that he’s smart but Nature and Arcana are Intelligence skills. That, and this is a requirement for a very particular class.
13; CHARISMA - A charmer of course needs to be charming. (Feel free to swap this with CON if you want more health but worse RP.)
12; DEXTERITY - Even if Rakan is normally shirtless this is enough for good ol’ Medium Armor thanks to our Racial stat increases.
10; CONSTITUTION - Even though Rakan plays up close and personal he’s certainly not a tank.
8; STRENGTH - You wouldn’t risk ruffling your feathers by doing heavy lifting.
BACKGROUND
While Rakan didn’t start out a rebel like Xayah he gladly joined her cause, and while a background like Entertainer might make more sense for him he’s without a doubt a Freedom Fighter now... unfortunately there’s no Freedom Fighter background so Faction Agent is the next best thing.
You get proficiency with any Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma ability and naturally we’ll be going for Performance. You also get proficiency in Insight but we’re actually going to be replacing it with Arcana for knowledge of the magic of the wild. Additionally you can learn two languages of your choice: unfortunately Aarakocra isn’t an option but Auran (or rather Primordial) is. And to learn the ancient language of Ionia I’d recommend Sylvan.
As a vastayan rebel you can gain access to a Safe Haven for you and your allies. By using secret signs and passwords you can identify other rebels who can bring you to a safe house, give you a free place to stay, or assist you in finding information. They won’t risk their lives for you but as long as you remember the password they’ll be willing to help. You... did remember the password, right?
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(Artwork by Riot Games)
THE BUILD
LEVEL 1 - CLERIC 1
Starting off as a Cleric, the king of supports. As a Cleric you get proficiency in two skills from the Cleric list: this is actually where we’ll be grabbing Insight proficiency from along with Medicine to keep Xayah safe.
Clerics get to choose their subclass at level 1 and there are obviously a lot of options to go for: Peace to bond with Xayah, War to better your battle dance, Nature or Arcana to further your connection to natural magic... Bet you wouldn’t expect the choice to be the Order Domain from Guildmasters’ Guide to Ravnica! (Also reprinted in Tasha’s Cauldron.) (I’ll go over why Order whenever we get abilities important to the build.)
For a start Order Clerics get proficiency in Heavy Armor as well as either Intimidation or Persuasion; Xayah’s got the scary part down so go for Persuasion, since someone’s gotta be the smooth talker! You also get Voice of Authority, letting you set up for an ally with a Grand Entrance. If you cast a spell with a spell slot and target an ally they can use their reaction to make one weapon attack against a creature of your choice. You have to be able to see the enemy you want them to target, and if you target multiple allies with a spell only one of them can use their reaction to attack. But setting up for friends to cut through foes is what you do best!
Speaking of spells and set-up Clerics get access to Spellcasting! You can learn three cantrips at level 1: for a Gleaming Quill grab Sacred Flame which does Radiant damage (not Fire damage!) to a foe. If you’re getting surrounded however Word of Radiance will let you shine on your foes for more Radiant damage! And to be a good support and help your allies out of combat Guidance lets you add a d4 to ability checks.
You can also prepare a number of spells equal to your Wisdom modifier plus your Cleric level. As an Order Domain Cleric you have Heroism and Command as part of your Domain Spells, meaning that you don’t have to prepare to be the hero and force your enemies in line. For a close range heal look no further than Cure Wounds. For a shield grab Shield of Faith to make it harder for enemies to kill your allies. And to set up for your friends grab Bless, making it easier for them to hit and survive.
LEVEL 2 - CLERIC 2
Second level Clerics can Channel Divinity once per short or long rest, invoking the power of the gods to help them. All Clerics can Turn Undead, forcing undead within 30 feet to make a Wisdom save or run away from you. However Order Clerics can charm their foes with Order’s Demand. You can charm (yes charm!) anyone of your choice within 30 feet until the end of your next turn, or until they take damage. Additionally you can force them to drop whatever they’re holding so they don’t shoot Xayah!
This is one of the many abilities I wanted out of Order Domain. A big AoE charm that also stops enemies from hitting you and your friends is right up Rakan’s alley.
You can also prepare another spell and while Rakan doesn’t have a ranged heal in-game Healing Word is just too good to pass up on as an Order Cleric. Bonus action let your friend whack an enemy!
LEVEL 3 - WIZARD 1
Didn’t take Rakan as the bookish type, did you? Well, he isn’t, but we need some abilities from Wizard that we can’t get elsewhere except Clockwork Sorcerer which makes even less sense for Rakan. Regardless Wizards also get Spellcasting. You learn 3 cantrips from the Wizard list: for a more direct autoattack grab Firebolt because I like having a variety of damaging cantrips, to add some pizzazz to your dance Prestidigitation will let you add a bunch of funky visual effects as you please, and for some coordination in Team Chat grab Message! "Did you notice the sky?" "It's lovely." "Not as beautiful as you."
You can prepare a number of spells equal to your Wizard level plus your Intelligence modifier, but when you multiclass into Wizard you can learn 4 spells to put in your spellbook. You can only prepare spells in your spellbook is the long-and-short of the class. Anyways: to bedazzle your foes grab Color Spray and blind them with your beauty. For a little owl companion take Find Familiar. To run when you need to Expeditious Retreat will help. And finally to detect the magic of the world take... Detect Magic...
Wizards also have Arcane Recovery, letting them recover a spell slots of a combined level equal to half their Wizard level rounded down. In short every spell slot counts the same number of “points” as the spell’s level, and you can recover a number of spell points equal to half your Wizard level. So a third level Wizard can either recover a 2nd level spell or two 1st level spells. Oh and you can’t recover spell slots past 5th level.
LEVEL 4 - WIZARD 2
Second level Wizards can choose their Arcane Tradition, and to protect yourself with Fey Feathers the School of Abjuration is here for you. Along with being an Abjuration Savant (letting you learn Abjuration spells in half the time for half the cost) you have an Arcane Ward to shield you: when you cast a leveled Abjuration spell you can also create a magical ward on yourself that lasts until you finish a long rest. The ward has a hit point maximum equal to twice your Wizard level plus your Intelligence modifier. (So currently 6 HP.)
Whenever you take damage, the ward takes the damage instead. If the damage reduces the ward to 0 hit points, you take any remaining damage. Whenever you cast an abjuration spell of 1st level or higher, the ward regains a number of hit points equal to twice the level of the spell.
You also learn 2 more spells so how about some Abjuration spells? Shield is a reaction Abjuration spell to protect you from melee attacks, while Absorb Elements is a reaction Abjuration spell to protect you from magic. AR and MR!
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(Artist unknown. Made for Riot Games.)
LEVEL 5 - WIZARD 3
3rd level Wizards can learn second level spells but I’d actually suggest learning Alarm back at 1st level. Why Alarm? It’s an Abjuration spell you can cast as a Ritual, so you can just cast it continuously to refresh your Arcane Ward even without preparing the spell. For your other spell Mirror Image is a quick and easy way to keep the baddies from whacking you.
LEVEL 6 - WIZARD 4
4th level Wizards get an Ability Score Improvement but I’m actually going to suggest the Observant feat to increase your uneven Wisdom score. Every Support’s gotta pay attention to their wards!
You can also learn another two spells along with a cantrip: take Dancing Lights to set up a stage! As for spells you’re the loud and proud sort so to make a Grand Entrance grab Knock to make way for your party! Meanwhile if you want to keep yourself and your allies safe from ranged harm Warding Wind will do just that and more, but it will also make it harder for Xayah to hit. "What the hell were you thinking?" "Back there?" "Yes." "I wasn't. I never think. Ugh... thinking."
LEVEL 7 - WIZARD 5
5th level Wizards can learn third level spells so it’s time to grab our first mass charm: Hypnotic Pattern, which isn’t an Enchantment spell but in fact an Illusion spell (which will be important later.) If you want to get down with The Quickness however there’s nothing better than some good old-fashioned Haste.
LEVEL 8 - WIZARD 6
6th level Abjuration Wizards can finally protect their party and their girlfriend thanks to Projected Ward, letting you use your reaction to reduce the damage an ally takes with your Arcane Ward. “Thank you honey!”
You can also learn two more spells from the Wizard spell list. Xayah need to call someone? Help her with Sending. Want to go full AP for the traditional D&D Grand Entrance? Fireball.
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(Artwork by Riot Games)
LEVEL 9 - CLERIC 3
We’ve spent enough time down in Nerdsville so how about some more Cleric levels? Third level Clerics can prepare second level spells like Aid to boost up your teammates with a Knight’s Vow. Speaking of Knight’s Vow Warding Bond will let you bond with Xayah so you take some damage for her.
Additionally as an Order Domain Cleric you have Hold Person and Zone of Truth innately prepared. Keep enemies at bay and let them know the truth!
LEVEL 10 - CLERIC 4
4th level Clerics get an Ability Score Improvement and I’m going to suggest further increasing your Wisdom, as it’ll help us more with our Cleric abilities which will be important later.
You also learn another cantrip such as Mending to keep your outfit in check. Additionally you can prepare two new spells with your increased Wisdom: Lesser Restoration can give you or Xayah some Tenacity when needed, but I’d suggest holding off on the other slot.
LEVEL 11 - CLERIC 5
5th level Clerics who use Turn Undead now Destroy Undead of CR 1/2 or lower. It’s unlikely that you’ll be fighting CR 1/2 enemies at level 11 but hey: it’s still useful!
What’s more useful however is that you can now prepare third level spells! As an Order Cleric you have Mass Healing Word for Redemption, or Slow to... slow the enemy. Maybe you grabbed Righteous Glory? Who knows.
Regardless the important thing is your charms so grab Fast Friends to charm single targets and Incite Greed to get a whole crowd to follow your Fey Feathers!
You may be asking why we’re grabbing Enchantment Spells of all the spells that Clerics get a third level. Well for one it’s because you’re The Charmer, but more importantly...
LEVEL 12 - CLERIC 6
At 6th level you become an Embodiment of the Law as an Order Domain Cleric. The law of dance that is! If you cast an Enchantment spell of first level or higher you can choose to make that spell a bonus action instead, and can do it a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier. You regain these fast charms after a long rest.
This was the main reason I went into Order Domain. Being able to quickly charm foes is textbook for Rakan, which made this subclass ideal for this build.
You can also prepare another spell at this level: Dispel Magic with Mikael's Crucible in case of any strong debuffs. Also more Abjuration spells for your shield!
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(Artwork by Yusuh on DeviantArt. You have no idea how hard it is to find solo artwork for these two.)
LEVEL 13 - WIZARD 7
7th level Wizards can learn 4th level spells like Confusion; something that fills my allies whenever I take Rakan into the jungle. For your other spell I’d actually suggest hopping back to third level for Counterspell to keep your allies safe with more Abjuration. Trust me it’ll be important later.
LEVEL 14 - WIZARD 8
At 8th level you get an Ability Score Improvement and despite being a Wizard we’ve kinda been ignoring Intelligence: let’s fix that with a +2 so our Ward can be stronger as can our Wizard spells.
You can also learn two new spells: more Charms? Charm Monster, so even the mighty Volibear can’t resist you. Other than that there are tons of great Wizard spells but I’m never going to say no to Dimension Door.
LEVEL 15 - WIZARD 9
9th level Wizards can cast 5th level spells like Dominate Person for charms on-par with mind control! (Because it is Mind Control.) For more combative 5th level spells Synaptic Status will let you bedazzle everyone in a 20 foot radius sphere, making it harder to hit as they’re stunned by your beauty. Rakan can have some AP; as a treat.
LEVEL 16 - WIZARD 10
10th level Abjuration Wizards get Improved Abjuration, letting them add their proficiency bonus to any ability check to Dispel Magic (such as with Dispel Magic or Counterspell.) If you wish you can also have Bless active on yourself for a d4 + 5 to any counterspell check. When you consider that the DC is equal to 10 plus the spell’s level and you have up to a +9 to the check it’s more than likely that you can be a Guardian against any dangerous spells!
You also get another cantrip at this level: do you already have too many cantrips? Yeah probably, but to get more props for your dance take Minor Illusion.
As for your two new Wizard spells Hold Monster is like Hold Person, but it works on Baron! And how about something to keep Zoe in her dimension? Banishment is a 4th level spell that works like a super CC that knocks an enemy out of the fight completely. You can’t attack them while they’re on another plane, but if they’re not native to the plane and spend a full minute Banished they go back to their original plane.
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(Artwork by Riot Games)
LEVEL 17 - WIZARD 11
11th Wizards can prepare 6th level spells. Want to keep Xayah safe from a falling temple and shadow ninjas? Globe of Invulnerability blocks all spells of one level lower than you used to cast the spell. In general. The globe surrounds you but you can dive in to protect Xayah. But what if you just want to dance? Look no further than Otto's Irresistible Dance! It’s a spell that forces everyone to dance; that’s all you need to know! But seriously read the description of your spells.
LEVEL 18 - WIZARD 12
12th level Wizards get another Ability Score Improvement: seeing as we are going deep down the Wizard path it only makes sense to get a bit more Intelligence.
You can also learn 2 more spells: Contingency will let you cast a spell in case of emergency. Choose a spell of 5th level or lower that can target yourself and a trigger for the spell: when the trigger happens the spell activates. Backup plans are more of Xayah’s thing, but something like “Banish myself if I’m about to die because Xayah would kill herself if I died” is a good plan.
There are tons of other good Wizard spells; so many that I can’t choose any that would particularly fit Rakan or the build as a whole. You have a limited number of prepared spells anyways so take something you think will be useful.
LEVEL 19 - WIZARD 13
13th level Wizards can prepare 7th level spells: want to do a conjoined recall? Teleport will let you and up to 8 willing creates teleport to a location, such as your fountain. There’s a table of places you can end up which I suggest looking at for the full details of the spell, because it’s a rather overwhelming spell to explain without copy-pasting the description. But because I further suffer with what spells to give you in a high leveled Wizard build how about a fancy light show? Crown of Stars lets seven stars orbit your head which you can shoot out at enemies or light up the night!
LEVEL 20 - WIZARD 14
Our capstone is the 14th level of Abjuration Wizard for some much needed MR. Spell Resistance lets you resist all damage coming from spells and have advantage on all saving throws against spells!
Speaking of spells you can learn your final two but... pick for yourself this time! Xayah will love you despite all your faults, and I’m sure that you can make a choice for yourself. This is my way of saying I’m sick of picking Wizard spells.
FINAL BUILD
PROS
You will see my dance - You are the master of keeping your friends safe with charms to keep fights from happening and both shields and heals to keep your allies from being hurt.
Look at me now! - You are incredibly elusive: 18 AC (Scale Mail + Shield) you can bump up with the Shield spell, a 32 HP ward to protect you and your allies, and even Shifting for Temp HP and more dodging.
You put us in a cage? I put you in the ground - And of course as a caster with full caster levels you are more than capable of putting down the hurt, especially due to the added efficiency of being able to cast two spells in a turn (well a leveled spell and a cantrip) thanks to Embodiment of the Law.
CONS
I don't have to remember the plan if you do - You are essentially mixing two spellcasters who want you to use extremely dedicated spell lists. Abjuration spells to make Abjuration Wizard work and Enchantment Spells to make Order Cleric work. Sure you don’t only need to cast Enchantment and Abjuration spells but there also aren’t that many Abjuration spells to power up your ward.
I can't die looking this good! - The vast majority of your levels being in Wizard combined with a 0 Constitution score results in a health bar that’s easily under 100. You may have advantage on all saving throws but Power Word Kill has no save.
Woo! You animals are dumb! - The other problem with mixing two full casters together is that you can’t get the best of both worlds. You aren’t getting 9th level spells in general (even if you get the slots for ‘em) and both your Wisdom and your Intelligence aren’t maxed out. Sure if you aren’t using Standard Array that isn’t an issue but you’re bound to drop something.
But if you were perfect why would you need Xayah? She completes you, and you complete her. Fight along side her and together you’ll be unstoppable. There’s nothing you can’t defeat with the power of love... But a plan would also probably be good. "I think Xayah told me to improvise. At least, that's the only part of the plan I remember."
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(Artwork by Riot Games)
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monstersdownthepath · 3 years
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Spiritual Spotlight: Zyphus, the Grim Harvestman
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Neutral Evil God of Accidental Deaths, Graveyards, and Tragedies
Domains: Death, Destruction, Evil, Plant, War Subdomains: Blood, Catastrophe, Daemon, Decay, Murder, Thorns, Undead
Inner Sea Faiths, pg. 88~93
Obedience: Spend an hour sitting on the grave of someone who suffered an accidental death. You must reflect on how chance has wronged you and vocally reject the influence of any gods associated with these wrongs. If no suitable grave exists, spend an hour telling strangers how their religious beliefs and hopes for a just afterlife are folly and of no consequence. Alternatively, you can write this screed and post it in a public place within a settlement. If you’re away from civilization, you can instead spend an hour sabotaging a path, bridge, tool, or other device so that it’s dangerous for the next person who uses it. Benefit: You gain a +4 profane bonus on Craft (traps) or Disable Device checks, chosen when you complete the obedience. 
i’m glad the grim harvestman covers his basis but also jesus
Anyway, Zyphus is one of the most petty and spiteful of the gods, and this is no better shown than in this Obedience. A typical adventurer wandering the countryside must actively make the world a worse place for everyone else involved, and the clause “next person who uses it” means that you have to either toss aside your party’s good will, or take up the dreaded spot at the back of the marching order. Should you find yourself in a public area, you become just as much of an obnoxious git as a follower of Groetus, except this time you’re personally spitting on their beliefs... However, if you wish to be significantly more tolerated by society, you should do as Zyphus encourages his followers to do and disguise yourself as a Pharasmin or the faithful of another god of order and afterlives and very carefully disguise your blasphemy as “misguided” teachings. At worst, you can feign ignorance and/or explain that you’re new to the faith and had no idea that what you’re saying is wrong. You can even blame other Zyphans for muddying your understanding of the truth, an act I’m sure the Harvestman finds extra ironic!
Telling someone that their practices don’t matter because Pharasma has already decided your fate is the easiest way to go, and the best part is it’s not even inaccurate! NPCs don’t have the spiritual freedom PCs do, so their path is already nearly impossible to change! Get pranked, idiots! Masquerading as one of Pharasma’s flock comes in especially handy when performing the first and ‘easiest’ ritual, as well, because tending to graves is something the Lady of Graves wants people to do in the first place. Make sure to be careful with how you word your vocal casting away of the god’s will, however, or you may arouse more suspicion than you soothe.
The benefit is subpar. Crafting traps is alright, but you’ve likely got better things to use your gold on--wait, there’s no restriction on the CR of traps you can craft, so long as you can beat the DC and have the gold? Well. Go crazy, go stupid, I guess! Here’s a list of everything you can make! The most cost-efficient and useful, however, is the CR 1 bear trap, which--make no mistake--will absolutely shred lower level encounters, but will lose a lot of its spark later on. At least it costs basically nothing to make! Traps are usually the domain of the DMs, but if you need to hold an area? They can come in very, very handy. Otherwise, you’re just leaving them behind you on lonely roads in the hopes some fool will step on them.
Disable Device is normally the way you want to go, shutting off traps that could be a potentially lethal danger for most of the party at most levels. And, of course, rearming them so some fool behind you can stumble into them later. Even if your adventure doesn’t contain many traps, you should never underestimate the strength there is in doing something as simple as popping a lock.
Boons are acquired slowly: the first once you reach 12 hit dice, the second at 16, and the third at 20. However, the Evangelist, Exalted, and Sentinel Prestige Classes can be entered as early as level 5; doing so grants you the Boons at levels 8, 11, and 14 instead. As Zyphus is a true deity and does not require Fiendish Obedience, you earn the right to enter the classes earlier than those who serve fiends!
-------- EVANGELIST --------
Boon 1: Champion of Cruel Chance. Gain Deathwatch 3/day, False Life 2/day, or Healing Thief 1/day.
Decent all around! And by “decent” I mean “they have niche uses, but shine in those uses.” Healing Thief is the most interesting one, establishing a link between you and a creature you touch that causes the victim to heal only half as much from magical or supernatural means, with you gaining the other half. Creatures who gain Fast Healing or Regeneration through supernatural circumstances can become a boon to you, while enemies relying on Channeled positive energy or in-combat healing will find themselves struggling. The best part is that it doesn’t even offer a saving throw!
Of course, it’s still a touch attack, and you have to remain within an extremely tight radius around the enemy (25ft + 5ft/level) to maintain the siphon. This is a little riskier than I’d like, not to mention it’s completely useless if your foe doesn’t use any in-combat healing. Also, at only 1/day, I’d probably settle for the significantly more boring False Life for a nice 1d10+8 (up to +10) temp HP that lasts for a million years. It’s not much, but you can use it twice and it might stop some scratch damage, and every point between you and 0 HP is nice.
Deathwatch lets you instantly know if you’re looking at an Undead or disguised Construct, which is its primary function in my book. With a duration of 10 min/level, it’s likely to last for entire dungeon floors and makes you an expert at calling out foes who’re on their last legs but otherwise looking healthy. It’s a decent spell if you’re unsure of what you’re going up against or want to be the pointman for your team, but otherwise False Life is the typical go-to.
Boon 2: Resiliency. 1/day, you can gain a number of temporary hit points equal to your Hit Dice, lasting for 1 minute. Activating this ability is an immediate action that can be performed only when you would be brought below 0 hit points, and can be used to prevent you from dying. If you have the Resiliency ability from another source, you can activate these abilities separately or as part of the same immediate action.
As far as I can tell, there is exactly one source for the Resiliency ability as it’s written here, and that’s a single Rogue Talent. It’s... eeeeeegh, not so good. It lets you stall death’s timer for a single minute, usually long enough to end the battle (or be ended) and get some real healing. It will likely save your life at least once in a campaign, but the goal here is to avoid being brought to 0 in the first place! Especially since this will, if obtained ASAP, only shield you for 11 HP, which is one--maybe two--attacks from a creature with a similar CR and basically nothing against spells being flung around at that level. This Boon is actually worse in many ways than just giving +1 HP per HD you have, especially since you technically already have access to the same amount of temp HP in False Life.
I suppose the most amusing use of this power is to fake being down and out until your foe turns away, but that carries risks of its own. If you’re brought to -20 or something and the temp HP only takes you to -5, you’re still knocked out but at least have some mercy time before you start dying for real. I’d advocate for combining this with Diehard if you want to get the most out of it, because otherwise this is an extremely subpar “Life Insurance” Boon that will really only impress the group maybe once or twice in a campaign and be boring or underwhelming in all other moments.
I’d want it to be at least 2 or even 3/day.
Boon 3: Tragic Minion. By spending 1 minute praying over the corpse of a Humanoid opponent or a Humanoid who has died a tragic death, you can summon an Allip to serve you. Unlike a normal Allip, this Allip is of an alignment that matches yours, and has a number of hit points equal to half your total. It receives a +4 bonus on Will saves to halve the damage from channeled positive energy, and it can’t be turned or commanded. This Allip serves as a companion to you and can communicate intelligibly with you despite its madness. You can dismiss it as a standard action. If the Allip is destroyed or dismissed, you can’t summon another for 7 days. This ability allows you to have only one Allip companion at a time.
Oh, that’s cute! You get a little insane friend! Unfortunately, as you can see here, it’s about 10 levels too late to actually be useful. At the level you can finally summon one, your Allips are extremely fragile, as even with their boosted HP they’re still only protected by an AC of 14 and no outstanding resistances aside from their incorporeality. Enemies with magic weapons are almost a certainty by level 14, and even enemies without magic weapons will rarely ever fail their save against the Allip’s Touch of Madness, whose save DC doesn’t scale past 15. You’d be relying wholly on it scoring critical hits, which make the Wisdom damage and drain irresistible, but that’s obviously not viable.
Really, all parts of Tragic Minion are ironically accurate. The Allip can’t even really serve as a scout, because they constantly Babble to themselves in a way that hypnotizes everyone within 60ft of them. Even with their +8 Stealth, a bunch of mooks suddenly stopping and standing still will alert enemies who can succeed the DC 15 Will save that something strange is going on. Adding in that Allips have no ability to hide or disguise themselves, just walking around with one is enough to turn heads. And don’t even think about just dismissing it and summoning another one, or using it in combat with any level-appropriate foe, or this is a blank Boon for an entire week!
Seriously, the 7 day ban on summoning another one is a serious kick in the teeth when the “only one at a time” limit was restrictive enough. You’d think Zyphus would be happy to grant his most powerful Evangelists more than one CR 3 minion at a time, but no! If you lose this extremely fragile minion, no more for 7 days! That’ll teach you to take good care of your toys! And that’s more or less the Allip is; a toy. An accessory.
-------- EXALTED --------
Boon 1: Catalyst of Destruction. Gain Break 3/day, Find Traps 2/day, or Spiked Pit 1/day.
Well I certainly hope there’s traps, given who you’re working for! But it’s good to have insurance that they’re not aimed at you. Find Traps lasts a decent time (1 min/level) and grants a monstrous Perception bonus to spotting them, automatically triggering a Perception check if you draw too close to a trap as well which--depending on how you interpret the spell--alerts you to the fact one is nearby even if you don’t see it. Then you can use Zyphus’ granted +4 to Disable Device to knock it out!
Break can have its uses, shattering enemy equipment even as they wield it. Just remember that targeting an attended object allows the wielder to make a saving throw in its place, while an unattended object gets no saving throw (provided it’s nonmagical). And since Break targets Fortitude, it’s not likely to affect the targets you’d really need it to (Fighters in heavy armor and Barbarians with big weapons), but if your teammates can knock their weapons from their hands, they’re free game. However, the use of Break in combat doesn’t nearly compare to what it can do out of combat; weakening doorways, crumbling containers, sabotaging enemy equipment they’d otherwise grab later, and cracking open items made of skymetal. Note that a second casting of Break outright destroys an item that’s already broken, and you have three each day! Personally, I’d save it for the times you need to sabotage something or bypass a small obstacle, rather than risk a high-Fort-save enemy succeeding in combat and wasting your turn.
And I’ve spoken about Spiked Pit before, here and here, but to reiterate:  it’s a pseudo Save-or-Suck that seriously waste the time of anything without a decent Strength score or some Climb skill as they crawl back out of the pit, while you and your allies either deal with other foes, or rain destruction down on them from above. Even if the victim makes their initial save, the pit doesn’t go anywhere, letting you push your targets in one at a time if need be. Since it’s literally just a huge hole in the ground, you can even hurl multiple enemies inside! AND it’s filled with damaging spikes! The spikes don’t do much, but every little bit helps.
Boon 2: Ever Vigilant. You are protected by a constant Death Ward, The immunity to energy drain ends after the effect has prevented a number of negative levels equal to your Hit Dice*, which resets when you next perform your Obedience. In addition, you gain a +2 profane bonus on saving throws against effects that occur before your first turn in combat.
*it says “Exalted level” but that would mean that this could have zero effect if you don’t class into it, so it’s been changed to prevent it from being a dead Boon.
Huh, this is pretty g--wait. Hold on, let me read this a little closer
“The subject gains a +4 morale bonus on saves against all death spells and magical death effects. The subject is granted a save to negate such effects even if one is not normally allowed. The subject is immune to energy drain and any negative energy effects, including channeled negative energy.“
and what did Ever Vigilant say? “The immunity to energy drain ends--”? But that implies that the rest of Death Ward stays up, right? ... right :)
A lot of Boons grant you an everlasting spell effect for your trouble, but none of them are quite as potent as this one. Death Ward UTTERLY stops negative energy effects, crushing the entire school of Necromancy underfoot, crippling the offensive power of most forms of Undead, and ironically making the devotees of the God of Tragic Death some of the hardest sons of guns to actually tragically kill. Even if an incoming death effect offered no save (such as Power Word Kill), Death Ward forces one, and because you’re Ever Vigilant you don’t even have to know you’re going to face one to begin with!
Also, a universal +2 bonus to saves when out of combat, and for the first round in combat! A nice and cute addition, making it slightly harder for enemy casters or monsters relying on their powers to get the jump on you. Ever Vigilant makes you one of the best Undead hunters out there... Which is why it’s--ironically--tragic that Zyphus, an Evil god, gives it out. In an Evil vs Good campaign, you’re not likely to actually be combating enemies who use negative energy, death effects, or anything else Death Ward protects against. The real sauce in this ability comes from an Evil vs Evil campaign, or a campaign in which you’re pretending to be Good, or at least Neutral! Just... make sure it ends before level 14, because...
Boon 3: Visitor From Abaddon. 1/day as a standard action, you can summon a pair of Greater Ceustodaemons as if with Summon Monster II, and gain telepathy with them to a range of 100 feet. The Ceustodaemons follow your commands perfectly for 1 round per Hit Die you possess before vanishing back to their home on Abaddon. The Ceustodaemons don’t follow commands that would cause them to perform overly good acts or save mortal lives other than your own, and they immediately vanish if your orders contradict these restrictions.
...it’s going to be very difficult why a Pharasmin can summon two daemonic gorilla-men who breathe electricity. Ceustodaemons are bred to be the dumb muscle of Abaddon, but they’re still capable warriors in their own right with decently damaging claws (2d6+6) and a bite (1d6+6) and the ability to exhale 6d6 points worth of Electricity damage in a 30ft cone. There’s also their spell-likes, an at-will Dimension Door letting them infiltrate and scout for you, a 3/day Fly to make your party a nightmare to fight, and a 3/day Dispel Magic to crack enemy magic open.
However, they’re only CR 7, unlikely to stand up on their own against level-appropriate threats. So, the key here? Don’t use them against level-appropriate threats, as is normal with summons dramatically weaker than you are. They’re terrors that shine brightest against enemies hovering around the CR 10 or so range, their resilience and immunity against--and I’m not exaggerating--nearly every status effect in the game except petrification and their DR 10/Good or Silver letting them slug it out with mid-level foes and rip apart nearly anything else lower than that.
There’s also the fact that they can be summoned as a standard action with a range of Close, letting you teleport your gorilla fiends right at the enemy’s vulnerable backline or in front of their melee bruisers to tie them up while the rest of your team flanks. The standard action summoning is the biggest treat here, because being able to have two more beefy bodies available immediately shifts any battle in your favor... But know that if your campaign keeps going past level 14, your gorilla men are going to have a harder and harder time standing up to level-appropriate enemies, and it’ll eventually cause them to be summoned to fight against minibosses only or--eugh--being sent on scouting missions. They’re good at them, mind, but you know how it is.
At their absolute worst, though, they’re still six castings of both Fly and Dispel Magic. There’s worse things out there.
-------- SENTINEL --------
Boon 1: Walking Disaster. Gain Bungle 3/day, Spontaneous Immolation2/day, or Deadly Juggernaut 1/day.
Bungle is a fun spell, slapping a target with an insurmountable -20 penalty to their next attack roll or check requiring a d20 roll, but since the spell is only level 1 and takes your concentration to maintain, it’s not likely going to stick. Granted, it lingers for 2 rounds after you stop concentrating so you can focus elsewhere, so there’s certainly worse spells to use... but it only affects one attack roll or check at a level where most enemies have two or even three attacks, making it significantly less useful than it looks. It’s best if you use it out of combat to scramble a skill check a foe is trying to use, but it’s negated by a Will save entirely so it loses a lot of potential oomph. And I just read the spell even closer and it says it only works on Humanoid targets, so it’s even worse than I previously thought!
Spontaneous Immolation is infinitely funnier to use, anyway. Why make someone flub a speech or fail an Escape Artist check when you could have them suddenly burst into flames from within? With no component requirements, Spontaneous Immolation is TRULY spontaneous, the victim exploding into fire without having an idea of the source. You could potentially make people believe it’s the wrath of your god, the power of some curse you possess, or even the wrath of their god if you can spin it well enough. The damage is middling--3d6--and is halved on a successful save, but it’s got a range of Medium and sets its victim alight if they fail their save so you can create a single spark in a crowd that becomes a roaring inferno as the panicking victim grabs onto whatever they can to try and put themselves out.
As God of Sudden Death, it’s a perfect spell for both in and out of combat, slaying random citizens in bursts of horror and pain they’d have no chance to realize is coming, I’m sure Zyphus approves of using it to malice citizens just as much as he enjoys watching his faith’s foes burst into flames. This leaves Deadly Juggernaut, a spell that a martial character such as yourself would normally LOVE getting... if it weren’t for the final clause stating that the effect doesn’t trigger unless you slay a foe within 4 HD of yourself. While that prevents the effect from being exploited with a Sack Of Rats, it also makes it far less likely to activate if you’re fighting swarms of lower-level enemies. It DOES mean that battling creatures of roughly equal strength to your party has some pretty high snowball potential, but since you, personally, have to reduce the target to 0 HP, unless you’re the party’s DPS you may just end up missing out on most of the spell.
I’d personally just tuck Makes You Explode under your belt each day. If nothing else, it’s a funny prank to pull on the locals.
Boon 2: Tragic Accident. 1/day as part of a successful attack, you can target your opponent with either Inflict Critical Wounds or Poison as a free action. The DC for this ability is (10 + 1/2 your Hit Dice + your Cha mod). You don’t have to declare the use of this ability until you know the attack is successful.
More than almost any other god I think I’ve encountered, Zyphus encourages lying, subterfuge, and you looking as harmless as possible. Even the ostensible God of Secrets and Murder, Norbergorberburgerhurger, inspires less subtlety in me than Zyphus, because his domain is specifically accidental deaths. You gotta make your kills look like mistakes no one could have seen coming, which makes Tragic Accident yet another tool in inspiring fear and terror than actually being useful in a fight.
Give someone a playful slug on the shoulder and scream as they fall over, dead. Deck some guy who’s hitting on you in a bar in the chest and feign horror as he suffers an apparently fatal heart attack as Poison rips through his body. Hit someone with a blowdart or even just hurl a pebble at someone and strike them down with nearly no trace, since this ability can work with ranged attacks as well. Coming up with subtle ways to use this power out of combat is significantly more fun than thinking of ways to use it in battle, because as a 1/day negated (or halved, in Critical Wounds’ case) by a save is just asking to be disappointed.
Especially in the case of Poison, because if you want someone dead in combat, hitting them usually works better than slowly, slowly, slowly hoping and praying that their Con hits 0. Inflict Critical Wounds is a little more useful if you’re using it to speed up an opponent’s death in combat, dealing 4d8+11 (+1 per level) damage... or healing an Undead ally. Yes, you have to hit with an attack, but as I’ve already stated above, the attack doesn’t have to deal much--or ANY--real damage to trigger a Tragic Accident. I do appreciate that Zyphus assures your attack connects before you trigger this ability, a lot of other Boons are not so gracious. Like...
Boon 3: Unfairness of the World. 1/day, you may fill an attack with negative energy. You must declare your use of this ability before you roll the attack roll; on a hit, the target gains a number of negative levels equal to 3 + 1/2 your Hit Dice unless it succeeds at a Fortitude saving throw (the DC for this ability is the same as Tragic Accident’s DC). If you openly wear an unholy symbol of Zyphus, the saving throw DC to resist this effect increases by 2.
... This one!
Hah. Well. Whatever you hit with this is dead. Like, straight up dead. The name of this Boon is as accurate as can be. There is NO recovering from being slapped with ten negative levels (+1 for every 2 levels you have!), because even if your victim survives the initial onslaught of energy, that’s a -10 to every single roll they make and the loss of some or even all of their high-level spells and most potent abilities. This isn’t so much a Save-or-Suck as it is the mother of all signals for your entire party to unload every SoS they have on their person upon your victim.
IF it lands.
Because not only do you have to succeed an attack roll to use this ability or have it dissolve into the aether, but they also have to fail a Fortitude save. That’s two possible points of failure for this ability which seriously reins in its potential, but with just a LITTLE bit of setup you can cut your unfortunate victim in half. It’s definitely both a possible end to a fight AND something you can smite a random citizen with by using the same “things that count as an attack roll” exploits I listed Tragic Accident. By the time you get this power, you can also shamelessly reveal your faith in the Harvestman to make the DC 2 higher, but you may want to keep that to yourself if you’re still masquerading as something else, breaking it out only for boss fights.
Most gods in Inner Sea Faiths leave a lot to be desired, so it’s nice to see a god give so generously! It’s just too bad it has to be the God of Pettiness and Inconvenience.
You can read more about him here.
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wondersofdreaming · 4 years
Text
Per aspera ad inferi
Characters: AU!August Walker x @littlefreya​​
Word count: 1.390
Warnings: Jealousy. Abduction. Death. Love. Ending in fluff.
Author’s note: The title is borrowed from Ghost’s song of the same name.
My translation, roughly: “To hell through hardships”
Inspiration from ‘The Seven Deadly Sins’.
I do not own any characters in this short story.
Tag: @katerka88​​ @littlefreya​​ @hell1129-blog​​ @mitzwinchester​​ @mary-ann84​​ @valkavill​​ @sciapod​​ @henry-cavlll​​ @luclittlepond​​ @iloveyouyen​​ @trippedmetaldetector​​ @radaofrivia​​ @omgkatinka​​ @gothwhopper​​ @fcgrizi​​ @vania-marie​​ @alyxkbrl​​ @singeramg​​ @onlyhenrys​​ @henrythickcavill​​ @madbaddic7ed​​ @palaiasaurus64​​ @queenslandlover-93​​ @magdelen69​​ @mis-lil-red
Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the list.
MASTERLIST
Feedback is appreciated.
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You watched as his majesty sat on his throne made of bones. Human bones. A golden goblet in his right hand, filled with his favourite red wine, the only drink he loved from the world above. The flames licked at his golden skin, while some danced around the top of his head, playing with his dark brown curly locks. Female demons surrounded him, trying to get his attention. His most trusted demon was feeding him green grapes. The jealousy inside you spiked to maximum capacity. You moved from the wall you had leaned against and walked with determined steps towards the ruler of Hell.
He knew you were there. The smirk on his soft lips hinted it. His blue eyes turned to lock with your own. He lured you in with those sky-irises. The demons scattered as you neared the throne.
“My dear, how lovely of you to join us,” he held out his large palm as you took the five steps up to his chair. You put your tiny hand in his, his fingers swallowing your own.
“I’ve been here a week now, August. I died and you brought me here instead of letting me burn in the inferno that is happening outside these walls. I want to know why.”
The master of the Underworld stroked his neatly trimmed moustache while thinking if he should tell you the truth. His gaze landing on your worried expression which made his shoulders slump. He pulled you to sit on his lap, fed you a few grapes and told you a story.
***
The story began aeons ago before he had changed his name to August before he got the Underworld as a domain to rule before he found his one true love. He had been a feared god amongst all the gods. Even his brothers and sisters were getting annoyed by his playboy attitude. Then he saw her. The most beautiful young goddess walking in the orchard of golden apples. Her long golden hair blowing in the wind, her lips curled up in a smile, a soft laughter, the most beautiful sound he had ever heard reached his ears. He wanted her, he needed her.
The hunt began.
He would try to get her attention every day, but she avoided him like the plague. She wanted nothing to do with him, knowing that he had slept with every goddess, every nymph, just every female supernatural being on the entire planet. She wasn’t going to be another one of his conquests.
He had no choice but to go find the three witch-sisters, who helped him brew a potion so strong she would fall in love with him over and over again. They tried to tell him the downside of using magic to make a goddess fall in love with another god, but he didn’t listen, too excited to finally have her.
He slipped the potion into her drink that same evening. It worked almost immediately after she downed the liquid. She threw herself at him like a drunk human, forgetting her manners and spitefulness of him.
He abducted her to his realm. The Underworld, Hell, the Firepit, the endless inferno, it had been called many things over time, but he called it home.
The spell broke the moment he stepped into his domain, and she fought him all the way to the throne room. The demons were furious at him for bringing a goddess to their place. She was angry for having been abducted, and even more so when she learned she couldn’t leave the Underworld unless he approved of it.
Months passed and one day, chaos knocked on his front door. An angry horde of supernatural beings attacked, having been sent by her mother. His love, who had started warming up to him, was caught in the crossfire and died in his arms. He mourned for the loss, sitting on his throne with her in his arms. He felt her getting colder and colder until she dissipated into ashes.
He had run to the witches to ask them to bring her back. They couldn’t. This was his payment for having used magic to make her fall in love with him.
She was cursed to be reborn as a human, and the moment she started to fall in love with him, she would die in his arms, turn to ashes and be reincarnated again.
***
He told you the story, and something inside you knew that you were the woman he had abducted and fallen in love with.
“How do you break the curse?” You asked him.
“I’d have to make the ultimate sacrifice.”
“What’s that?”
“Give up something I love to be with someone I love.”
“What, your throne?” You asked sarcastically.
“Yes.”
You starred at him, thinking it was a big joke.
How could the ruler of Hell be in love with you? And if so, would he really give up his beloved kingdom of fire and death to break your curse?
The answer was simple as you looked into his eyes. He wouldn’t.
“How long have we been doing this?”
“Millions of years.”
“How many times have I been reborn?”
“Millions.”
“And is this reincarnate different?”
He whipped his head towards you. Two sparkling cerulean orbs glared into your soul.
“You are.”
“I don’t believe you. Convince me.”
August stood and put you on the throne. It was incredibly comfortable having been made of bones, must be the soft cushions. August paced in front of you.
“You’ve been here a fortnight and you haven’t died yet.”
“So, I’ve died within two weeks of being here? Great.”
“You’ve never been reborn with dark hair. It was always blonde, most times almost white. To show that you were the goddess of innocence and tranquillity.”
“I changed my hair, woohoo… next!”
“You’ve never gotten tattoos before.”
“A few inked pieces on my skin doesn’t change who I am.”
“Listen to me, woman! As I said, you are… were the goddess of innocence and tranquillity. Do you feel innocent and tranquil right this moment?”
You looked at him with your big brown eyes. He knew that you weren’t feeling anything near innocent and tranquil.
“And so, what I don’t feel like I am those things? I am a stubborn woman, who loves to have a good time, and I will fight you every step of the way, but I will also love you with all my heart, and if you don’t love me back… then I’d rather just stay dead forever.”
August’s fiery gaze turned soft. His full lips turned upwards at the corners.
“I love you too.”
“I didn’t say that I love you,” you scoffed. August let out a burst of laughter as he pulled you into his warm chest. He kissed your forehead, while he whispered something.
“I; god of death and destruction, creator of chaos and starter of war, ruler of the Underworld; relinquish my immortality and my kingdom.”
The demons around you let out a high-pitched shriek.
“Who is going to sit on the throne of Hell now?” You asked.
“I will. Was about time too,” a deep voice said behind you. You watched the young male step out of the shadows. His chiselled jaw and blue irises showed that he was August’s son, but his nose and lips seemed familiar. “Hello, mother. I like the new you.” He smiled, the half-smirk that August had shared a few times with you during your most intimate moments.
“We have a son?”
“He was born before you died the first time.”
“And now my baby boy is going to be king of Hell, just every mother’s dream for their son’s future job.”
“Careful, my love, sarcasm can kill.”
A wind blew through the throne room. It felt cleansing.
“What was that?”
“The curse has been lifted. What do you want to do with the rest of your life?”
You contemplated a while.
“I want to explore all the worlds of this universe.”
“Then that is what we will do.”
He started moving towards the bedrooms.
“August…?”
He turned.
“Yes?”
“I… I love you.”
He smiled and bent to capture your lips in a hungry kiss.
“Do you need to infect my new throne room with your love?” Your son complained.
“Times are different now, son. Love is stronger than death.”
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If you love a femme fatale in MDZS, here is a canon one for you.
This going to be long post with pictures, please remind yourself that skim reading or read just half of a post and then kick a fuss is unbecoming of an intellectual being humans suppose to be. Any discussion after finished reading the whole post is welcome. Also I’m not an expert on Chinese culture, just amateur with passion, and English is not my first language, if any grammar, spelling, or context error have been detected, please let me know, politely. I’m always willing to learn and improve.
From my observation, there is not a small part of this fandom salivating for a gorgeous seductive manipulative duplicitous bitch. Please believe me that we already have one in the canon, even with a fan. Though the correct term would be a Homme Fatal, a male equivalent of Femme Fatale.
Some of you may think of this man [Pic Source: Manhua]
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No, not him. Not Nie Huaisang. This is a plot device for shock value.
You may have ask, then it must be this man right, but he doesn’t hold a fan? [Pic source: audio drama]
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Also sadly no, not Jin Guangyao either. This man need to a kick and ‘son of a whore’ commentary from Nie Mingjue to motivate himself enough to kill him, too masochistic sentimental and not enough of ‘seducing’ evidence.
Homme Fatal, by the definition from Wikitionary, is “An ultimately seductive and dangerous man; a womanizer.” 
Who fit this description most in MDZS? It’s this man, Jin Guangshan. 
Let me introduce you to the real sexy manipulative scheming duplicitous mastermind of MDZS. With a fan. [Pic source: Donghua]
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Now you might want to scream, this piece of trash, a man whore, slimy power hungry scumbag of the cultivation society Jin Guangshan? Are we talking about the same man? Yes, we are. And now I will elaborate.
First, look at his face, even though it might be universal agreement that he is not a good man, his appearance and his mannerism are indeed a seductive handsome man. Let me remind you again that these are his children.
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From left to right: Jin Zixuan, Jin Guangyao, Qin Su, Mo Xuanyu [All pics are from Manhua]
They are undeniably, gorgeous. Jin Zixuan was rank 3rd in the young master list, that’s enough evidence of his good look. Jin guangyao may get most of his look from his mother - according to Guanyin statue that model after his mother’s face but people still thought it was his - but he still has his father’s charm. Qin Su is a beauty, even though we know nearly nothing about her, and Mo xuanyu’s face is definitely not shabby. Jin Guangshan’s gene is indeed worthy of a Jin’s name.
Second, Jin Guanshan is a dangerous man, might have been the most dangerous one on par with Wen Ruohan, even he was the weaker one in term of cultivation, at least you will have a gist if Wen Ruohan want you dead, you mostly still in the dark and not even wondering on your dead bed that did Jin Guangshan had a hand in your downfall. 
People like to forget that this man was Lanling Jin sect leader, sit on the throne in the viper pit call Jinlin Tower. That sect full of backstabbing people, gossips, and a lot of maneuvering in the dark. I’m still curious how in the heavens Jin Zixuan grow up to be the man he was in that kind of environment to be honest.
I can’t remember that Jin Guangshan was the oldest one in his generation or not, but we could assume that he surely at least had a sibling of main family line, because we have Jin Zixun, a man in ‘Zi’ generation who close enough to main family to share the ‘Zi’ character in his courtesy name, raise next to the clan heir as a spare one, and he call Jin Guangshan “uncle” (Can’t remember which one between Bó Fù/older paternal uncle or Shū Fù/younger paternal uncle).
Which mean he already a winner of his generation, when the story start, Lanling Jin was his domain, he was the highest authority over there with no contest, we never see anyone from Jin sect disobey him. Madam Jin can only voice out her displeasure, but can’t do anything regarding of her husband conduct. Their marriage, arranged as they were, is what tied Jin clan and her family together, which mean her maternal clan also on a good term with Jin, she cannot kick a fuss, as a marriage in ancient time never a matter of two people, it’s a matter of two families. 
And he was in process of securing his legitimated son place too. He raise his nephew as a ‘second best’, making sure that Jin Zixun will not have any ambition to ‘go above his station’ as we can see in the novel that Jin Zixun is Jin Zixuan’s fanboy or his lackey, he always praising or cheering Jin Zixuan, behave obediently toward his uncle, like that was his job. Jin Guangshan definitely win this one over already.
Now, one did not become a sect leader of a Great Sect and stay in power by being an incompetent moron. His habits of sleeping around may disgust people, but here me out, this is not unusual for a man of his status. His affairs with prostitutes [i.e Meng Shi] are easiest to take care, by the contract of transection, therefore he is blameless in the eyes of gentry class, they could only scold him for being ‘overindulgent’ or ‘lustful’, and he always go for the best one around, so some people might even praise him for his taste. Commoners and gentry class ladies [i.e. Second Lady Mo] are different, sleeping with those gentry class young miss not only a pleasure for him, it also could be a great way of getting information and blackmailing people too. Because if he let the public know which young lady he had already ‘conquered’, his reputation suffer nothing, but the lady in question will be ruined beyond saving, that’s one of the reason madam Qin decide to keep her raped quiet. And the lady’s reputation is link to her family, they will do many things just to keep Jin Guangshan happy and not to be shamed in public. Or if anyone want to have a problem with him, they still need to look at the social standing he had, both from his position as Sect Leader Jin and his extensive connections from all parties he threw. And if you think he would care about non-cultivators’ opinions, you have mistaken, to quote Tywin Lannister, "A Lion Doesn't Concern Himself With The Opinions Of The Sheep". Unlink Jin Guagyao who need his reputation to be spotless or else he’ll get a canon ending, the only ones he need to at least pretend to care are his cultivator peers of the same gentry class.
Sadly, him kicking Meng Yao down the stairs also ‘acceptable’ by the society standard of that era, because it’s Meng Yao who ‘trying to reach where he didn’t belong’ in the eyes of gentry, illegitimate children, if not acknowledged, have nothing to do with their father’s family. Cruel? Yes. But nobody care, this even become a famous joke, enough that people like Nie Mingjue know.
This prove that even he was a handsome man with a bad bitch vibes, many ladies still want to sleep with him, society still on his side, what a skill to have in one arsenal.
He was the only sect leader - in the Great sects categories - to get along with Wen Ruohan or play his card right, compare to Nie sect that lost the previous sect leader to a blatant assassination plot, but could only endure, the Lan’s Gusu was burned, Qingheng-Jun’s death, Lan Xichen need to flee for his life and his clan’s legacy, the Jiang’s Lotus pier suffer a massacre, and then you have Lanling Jin who sit on the fence with no damage. 
Then Sunshot campaign happen, he let his heir lead the Jin force while stay at Jinlin Tower, he feigned ignorance over Nie Mingjue’s letter concerning Meng Yao, if Meng Yao die, he would have one less problem in his life, if he survive then Jin clan still get a soldier to be used, no big deal. And when Meng Yao become a spy, this also benefit him greatly, if the Wen wins, he could say that he sent Wen Ruohan a good tool and was force to join the Sunshot side, pulling “Look at how unwilling I was, the Jin not even try that hard you see”.
We already witness he jump in full force to reap the benefit after the Wen lost, Jin Guangshan is smart and skill enough to wait for the clear victory, legitimize Jin Guangyao to take the war credits, with a ‘Guang’ name to exclude him from succession line, with a connection to Lan and Nie clans via Sworn Brotherhood. The best of all is no one can publicly complain anything, Jin clan is the most intact great clan after war, Lan need money for their rebuild their home, Jiang need to be rebuild from scratch, Nie Mingjue lack seniority to scold a man of his father generation, Lan Qiren who is in the same generation lack a position to do so, smaller sects also need his backing to rebuild, want to be on his good side or risking annihilation when no one can help them. He rope in the Jiang clan by Jiang Yanli’s marriage, for the society, he is the benevolent man who honors the promise of two clans even when the Jiang is still in ruin, he is a kind man who help the younger generation, what a good father-in-law to be. Now do you feel that this man is scary? He come out of war, lying in his own house but still emerge with enough political power to maneuvering society, that’s an achievement on its own.
Then he look at Yiling Patriarch, his next goal. If he cannot control this dangerous man then let him be destroy and let him create the one that will belong to Jin clan. Not dissimilar to the opinion in Cold War related to nuclear weapon. First he sow a discord between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, play the insecurities of young sect leader who has no family backing, pressure him with society, even though losing his heir was out of the plan. He used his ‘spare son’, who has a great work resume for shady business, to do all his dirty work and supervise demonic cultivation experiment that if society found out he could have a perfect scapegoat, after all, it’s not surprise for ‘a son of a whore’ with ‘dirty blood and upbringing’ to be like that. Daggling his ‘love and legitimize’ over Jin guangyao’s head to ensure loyalty and obedience. Getting Mo Xuanyu into the clan also sent a message that ‘I can always replace you with any of my spare’. He let Xue Yang have fun with the Chang clan, a revenge massacre while tasting demonic cultivation experiment, win-win for then both, Nie Mingjue went to talk with Jin Guangshan on this matter but Jin Guangyao end up taking all the blame of his father’s conduct, wow. Correct me if I’m wrong here, Jin Guangshan was the one who order Nie Mingjue’s death wasn’t he. If yes, then his plan to establish Jin sect as the main power after the war is really clean cut, ‘get rid of the one I can’t control’.
Let’s be real, Jin Guangshan must be the best politician of his own generation, Wen Ruohan is too strong for this skill to be essential, but doesn’t mean he isn’t good (may be next essay then), Jiang Fengmian wasn’t a bad sect leader, but he just too mild for that political climate, late Nie sect leader was too careless in whatever spat he had with Wen Ruohan, and Qingheng-jun was a fail sect leader. Yes, marry for love must be so romantic, but then he just throw all his responsibility onto Lan Qiren’s shoulder, poor man, what a disaster older brother to have, madam Lan debacle must be a political nightmare. 
Jin Guangshan’s mistake was he overvalue himself in Jin Guangyao’s eyes, and underestimated how low his bastard son willing to sink to before rise up, but need to give it up to him though, poetic justice of his death is so iconic. Not many people can claim they die while doing what they love aren’t they.  
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isahorcrux · 3 years
Text
20 questions Writer’s Edition
Thank you @blitheringmcgonagall for the tag ! <3 <3
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
5
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
44,637
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
Just Harry Potter (Golden Trio Era & Marauders Era)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? (I guess I’m just ranking all my fics since I only have five currently lol)
love it if we made it (78)
And it all came crashing back. Harry, Ron, and Hermione returning to Hogwarts. The Order coming to fight. Spells being shot back and forth. Hogwarts crumbling from within, but also fighting back. Voldemort and his army of death swarming the castle. Fred. Remus. Tonks. Harry, dead. Harry, not dead. Bellatrix. And then Voldemort and Harry, facing each other in the Great Hall, where Ginny had eaten every meal during the school year with her friends. Voldemort falling. They’d won. The war was over.
glad he’s gone (71)
Of all the things Lavender could have been crying over, Ginny had not expected this. Granted, she knew Ron wanted to end things with Lavender just as much as she’d wanted to end things with Dean. But, she supposed she was a bit preoccupied with her own public break-up to notice Ron’s first romance imploding a mere few feet away. She briefly wondered if Lavender was just as oblivious to her relationship ending as Ginny was to her’s.
hope is a dangerous thing (for a woman like me to have) (63)
As soon as they found Dumbledore’s body, some unconscious part of Ginny knew that their relationship would have to end. She knew Harry, who’d lost so many people, couldn’t bear to put her in danger. She understood his reasoning, in fact, if she were in the same position, she might even do the same. But, it wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t she go with them and help take down Voldemort. She after all, was the closest link to Tom after Harry, having spent a year entwined with his teenage self.
The story of Ginny Weasley's 6th Year at Hogwarts.
spontaneous & romantic (38)
“Well, when I hear things at my window, my first thought isn’t often, ‘oh, how sweet my boyfriend is throwing pebbles at my window,’” I said giggling.
Rose/Scorpius
champagne problems (21)
Summoning the courage of thousands of Gryffindors before him, James sank to his right knee and pulled the unassuming black velvet box from his pocket. The room around them faded into warm shapes and colours. James didn’t know if Sirius had paused the music or if he’d gone temporarily deaf. It was only the two of them, James thrusting his mum’s ring out towards Lily and Lily looking at James with a bemused sort of grin.
After several long moments, or maybe a half an hour, or possibly several days, Lily spoke.
“James, let’s - we should talk.”
It was supposed to be perfect.
5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
I do sometimes ! Truly it depends on if you’ve caught me in a responsive mood or not.  I’m usually more likely to respond if there’s a question or the comment is particularly long, versus a one or two word comment.
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Oh without a doubt champagne problems .
This fic came about because I listed to evermore on repeat in my car for months and months and then a story that first started as a james potter II story morphed into a jily story and here we are. I’ve outlined most of it, so excited to update this one fairly regularly (I think).
7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
I think probably love it if we made it just because the war is over ginny and harry get together, all that fun stuff. but, if you’re a scorose person, spontaneous & romantic is also very happy. I also wrote that one back in high school, so tread lightly lol.
8. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?
I’ve never written a crossover, I don’t think...I’ve got a few fics that have been lost to the internet from high school, but I don’t think any of them were crossovers either.  I’m firmly in the HP fanfiction camp.  I guess you could argue I also do Shakespeare fanfiction...but I feel like since that’s in the public domain it doesn’t count lol.
9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
I don’t think so ? I don’t think I’m a popular enough writer to get enough eyeballs to get hate.  I noticed on champagne problems, that one person really thought Lily was unlikable, but I think at this point we are supposed to hate her a bit and she does need to grow as a person.  But, I think that’s the closest ?
10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
Currently, no. Do I need to for the folklorevermore project? Yes. So it’s coming, and I’m terrified to write it.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
No thankfully !
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but very open to it if anyone so chooses to translate :)
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, but again, very open to it.  I studied screenwriting and fiction in college and one of my favorite things about screenwriting is the collaborative writing process, so my inbox is open :)
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Oof, making me choose children - currently, probably Jily.
15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
I will finish hope is a dangerous thing if it kills me, I swear!
16. What are your writing strengths?
Err... dialogue maybe?  I also feel like I have a really good grasp of who my versions of James and Lily are.  And also a good cannon sense of Harry and Ginny because growing up literally all I did was read Harry Potter.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
The ability to finish things / update in a timely manner lol.  I’m sorry!  Know I hate myself more than you hate me for my slow updates !
18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I think i’d be comfortable writing French or Italian in a fic (haven’t had the moment to yet, but maybe!) but any other language I haven’t studied I probably would be a bit timid to try, just because I wouldn’t want to mistranslate anything.
19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Harry Potter (Next Gen) - I know wild right?  There’s a bunch of Next Gen fics of mine out there under a different name.
20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
I’m actually really proud of champagne problems and where it’s going (this is my plug for people to go read it lol)
Oh god, I hate tagging people it’s so nerve wracking, because I never want to bother people, but tagging those whose fics I literally just read/who hasn’t been tagged (at least I don’t think?) and also anyone else who wants to do this! @dizzy--bird @sunshine-marauders @thequibblah
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isingonly4myangel · 4 years
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You asked for prompts, so here is one: Hilda organizes a dance at the Academy of Unseen Arts to lift people’s spirits. Zelda begrudgingly attends. Everything is fine until a cheeky young warlock asks her to dance, and she has a flashback to being under Faustus’ spell.
Yikes, well this only took me more than a year to answer. Nothing like a mandatory quarantine to force you into working on pieces you haven’t touched in ages! Anyway, this is set after part 2, so we’re still in a sweet spot of potential before part 3 happened. First CAOS story, would love to hear people’s thoughts! 
Also, in case anyone is interested, the piece they dance to is “Melting Waltz” by Abel Korzeniowski. Yes, I like my horror tv shows :) 
Below the line, because Faustus Blackwood is an ass, and- ya know- trauma
The dance had been Hilda’s idea. Since the whole Satan fiasco, morale amongst the remainder of the coven had been low. Very low. Hilda, ever the caretaker, tried everything to lift people’s spirits. Once baked goods had failed, even with enchantment, she began to plan for the dance.
A week or two prior, Zelda had contacted the High Priests of two covens in New York City that had a reputation for being more liberal in their beliefs, to inform them of what had happened in Greendale. Both men had accepted her as the first High Priestess in history with relative ease, and though she was reluctant to show it, Zelda was delighted. So when creating a guest list, Hilda had written to them with a dual invitation for a face-to-face meeting as well as an evening of socialization with the Greendale coven.
Expecting the remaining members of the Greendale coven to be joined by a dozen or so members of the New York covens, Hilda spent days decorating and baking. Two days before the event, she and Zelda stood in the main hall at the Academy, making minor adjustments to decorations.
“What’ll we do about that… thing?” Hilda asked, gesturing to the statue in the centre of the space, now missing its head. It was one of only two tangible marks of Faustus Blackwood’s brief and twisted domain over the Church of Night, the other being his office within the building. Zelda had begun to clear it out the previous week, but had left almost as soon as she entered. She could not stand his lingering scent.
In response to Hilda’s question, the ginger-haired witch merely raised her left hand, palm facing the statue, and Hilda turned to look at Zelda as she felt her sister’s magic surge through the room. Slowly at first, but then with increasing speed, the neck of the statue began to melt. Dark grey droplets formed, dripping from the statue’s throat down to its shoulders. Before long, stone flowed as liquid, the statue becoming misshapen, drooping as it disintegrated.
Once the statue was no more than a large puddle of grey sludge, it suddenly errupted into flames. Zelda took a drag off the cigarette in its holder on her right hand, watching the remains of the statue evaporate.
“Well,” Hilda broke the silence as the last of the puddle burned away. “I suppose that’s that.” She began, somewhat awkwardly, to sneak out of the room around her sister. Zelda methodically exhaled a cloud of smoke before flicking the ashes of her cigarette in the swiftly shrinking puddle. Then the redhead turned on her heel and sauntered out, feeling somewhat lighter.
~~
The evening was lovely. The hall of the Academy was alive with light and sound. Candles on each wall and hovering overhead created a sophisticated and appropriately spooky embiance. Music reverberated softly through the space, somehow smoothly alternating between classical orchestrations, jazz band recordings, and modern pop songs for the younger generation.
Sabrina sat on the staircase surrounded by her schoolmates, the red silken fabric of her skirt draped over the stairs. Her mortal friends had joined the coven for the occasion, mingling with the Academy students around Sabrina. Hilda played hostess as she made her way in cheerful circles around the room to ensure that every guest was contented, the neckline of her blue dress cut just a little lower than previous dresses (at her sister’s encouragement). Zelda was every inch the High Priestess. Her fiery hair was pinned up, her dress a formal black, pointed at her shoulders and at the ends of her long sleeves, partially covering the backs of her hands. Her nails were a deep, blood red matching the jewels of her earrings and the color painting her lips. She stood in a cluster of warlocks, trading ideas on numerology, quietly pleased that things seemed to be going so well. Their guests appeared to be enjoying themselves, and Zelda felt respected, listened to, equal with the men she stood amongst. It made for a very welcome change.
The music shifted into a haunting waltz, a minor-keyed orchestration full of strings. The warlock on Zelda’s left extended an upturned hand to her, the gesture holding a certain air of ceremony. He made quite a picture with his gold suit jacket, along with gold rings on his fingers, eyes lined in the same color, and nails painted to match. So much gold laid against his dark skin created quite a striking effect. “Might I ask you for a dance, High Priestess?” he questioned with a charming smile. Zelda raised an eyebrow, almost as though she were evaluating him before replying.
“Very well,” she murmured after a moment’s pause, placing her hand in his outstretched one. He led her to the centre of the room where other dancing couples had begun to pick up the waltz tempo, and pulled her gracefully into a dance frame with a hand on her back, leaving her free hand to rest on his shoulder. As the music rose, he stepped forward and began to lead.
They were a very elegant pair, and other couples drifted to the outskirts of the dancing space to allow them more room. A number of conversations around the room fell silent as people turned to watch.
“You dance beautifully, High Priestess,” he spoke as she followed his change of direction with ease, flashing her that same lovely smile.
“Thank you, Brother Ethan. It was one of my favorite pastimes a century or two ago, I did quite a lot of it. All those marvelous European parties.”
“Oh I know just the ones, somehow the Europeans always throw superior parties. And so many handsome young men,” he added, a wry smile on his lips. Zelda gave a knowing laugh as he raised their connected arms for her to turn under, but as she spun- once, twice- the room seemed almost to tilt under her feet, and she heard the flutter of a skirt that she was not wearing, felt sharpened fingernails pricking the delicate skin of her waist. She was pulled back against the warlock, and she desperately tried to focus on his tightly curled hair, the feeling of the flat of his palm nearly between her shoulder blades, the gold edging his dark eyes, anything to remind her that this was not Faustus.
Breathe, she thought, forcing herself to keep with the rhythm of the music while everything in her screamed to run. Careful to keep her face frozen in a slight smile, she directed all of her attention to inhaling and exhaling evenly in time with the music, counting waltz time in her head. In 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Out 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Her feet followed his automatically, and she bit hard on the inside of her lip as he turned her again.
An eternity later, the music came to an end, and she returned his bow with a picture perfect curtsey. “You are truly lovely, Sister Zelda,” spoke her partner as they returned to the side of the room.
Zelda, Blackwood’s voice hissed in her mind, a cruel echo of Ethan’s friendly tone.
“Thank you for the dance, Brother Ethan,” she spoke, digging her fingernails into her palms to stop her hands from shaking. “If you’ll excuse me, I have some-something to attend to.” Without waiting for his response, she turned away from him and started across the room. She managed to keep a sensible- though swift- pace until she stepped into the empty corridor. Her strength disappeared and she broke into a run, undeterred by the height of her heels.
Swinging around the corner, she flung herself at the front doors and stumbled through them, the chilly evening air tearing into her lungs. She flew down the stone steps, no thought to where she was going, only wanting to get as far away as possible. Racing towards the railroad tracks, one foot caught behind her, and suddenly the ground rushed up to meet her, her palms skidding against rough soil and small stones tearing at the knees of her stockings. As she whipped her head around to look behind her, she saw her right shoe standing upright, its heel rooted in the earth. Her breath caught in her chest and a sob ripped from her lips, fingers digging into the dirt in an effort to find something- anything- to hold onto as memories that plagued her nightmares flooded her mind. She sank back on her knees, gasping air into her lungs while her tears left tiny dampened spots on the ground beneath her.
Every thought was disturbingly vivid- the overpowering scent of Faustus’s cologne, the sickly sweet taste of sugared tea, the sharp crack of the cat o’ nine tails against her back, pricks of pain as his sharpened fingernails tore at delicate flesh inside of her until there was blood on the sheets. The maddening knowledge that she was aware of every moment and yet powerless to stop anything.
A hand on her back startled her so that she recoiled from it with a strangled cry, her hip landing hard against the uneven earth. Half-expecting it to be Faustus standing above her, waiting to drag her back to the prison of the music box, she was somewhat bewildered to see Lilith looking down at her, an unfamiliar expression of pity on the face borrowed from Mary Wardwell. Zelda wiped furiously at her cheeks with the back of her hand in a futile attempt to compose herself.
“My Queen,” she spoke, her voice wavering. “What m-”
“I’m not here as your queen,” Lilith cut her off, kneeling beside her despite the dirt. “I could feel you. All the way down in Hell- your body, your magic in distress, your mind practically screaming. Zelda, what’s happened?”
“I-it felt… it felt like F-faustus, when he-he…” A sob bubbled up in her throat and she tried to swallow it, her head dropping in shame at such a display in front of the Queen of Hell. In front of Lilith.
Lilith reached out a gentle hand and placed it lightly against Zelda’s head, brushing fiery hair away from her face. The witch allowed it, leaning in almost imperceptibly to her touch. Wishing to spare her High Priestess any pain she could, the demoness pulsed her magic through her hand and nudged into Zelda’s mind, carefully touching on the recollections at the forefront of her memory. Brushing up against the thoughts, Lilith could see Zelda’s remembrance of the last few minutes in the hall, and of everything she suffered at Faustus’s hand. Her lips parted as she gasped in horror, tears burning in her own eyes to match the redhead’s.
“Oh, Zelda,” she breathed, leaning forward to touch her forehead lightly to the witch’s. “As I am Queen of Hell, I promise that no man will ever hurt you like that again. And when I find Faustus Blackwood, I will drag him screaming into the Pit and I will visit on him pain as he has never known before. He will pay for what he’s done, I promise you.” Lilith tilted her head up to press her lips against Zelda’s brow, sealing her vow with a kiss heated in Hellfire.
Hold me, she heard Zelda’s whispered thought as the witch bit her lip, trying fiercely to hold back tears. Lilith, please. Please hold me. The desperation in the redhead’s mind broke the demoness’s heart as it had not been broken in millennia. She gathered the other woman into an embrace, feeling Zelda’s arms wrap around her waist as she held her tightly. And as the witch sobbed against her chest, finally giving into tears, Lilith began to plot revenge against the man who had brought her High Priestess, trembling, to her knees.
What fun she would have with him. What fun.
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