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dreamescapeswriting · 2 days

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A Love Worth Fighting For ~ JJK

⤜WORD COUNT: 2.7K

⤜GENRE: Established relationships, angst to fluff, a little bit of toxic from Jungkook, feelings of being unwanted/unneeded

⤜PAIRING: Jungkook x Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - April 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

The soft glow of the city lights spilt into the dimly lit apartment, casting shadows around the apartment as you stood by the window, phone clutched tightly in your hand. The familiar buzz of anticipation tingled in your veins as you waited for Jungkook's voice to fill the silence that had settled between you both. He'd been on tour for what felt like forever now and you were finally deciding that you wanted to talk to him.

Usually, the two of you would stick to texting on occasion since you knew how busy he was and you didn't want him to think of you as "clingy" but the more you thought about it the more you realised it wasn't "clingy" to want to hear from your boyfriend. You stared out at the city and watched as couples together laughed and played together in the streets. You missed Jungkook and you weren't afraid to let him know that anymore.

When the two of you had started your relationship you'd been completely understanding of everything but as time went by and you saw how his band members kept in contact with their partners you wanted more from him. You at least wanted to speak to him more when he was away, to feel a little less lonely than you did right now.

When he finally answered, the warmth you'd been craving dissolved into icy silence, there was now happy greeting from your boyfriend, just a grumbled "What is it?" as he finally answered the phone to you after what felt like the tenth phone call.

"I miss you, Jungkook," you whispered, your voice trembling, anxiety beginning to bubble up inside of you as you thought about his reaction to it. Something you never should have had to fear with a boyfriend and yet here you were, second guessing everything you said and did.

"I miss us." You finished. There was a pause on the other end of the line, a pregnant silence that stretched between you like a taut wire.

"I'm busy, Yn," he said, his voice cold and distant, cutting through you like a dull knife that wanted to hurt you as much as it could but as slowly as humanly possible. This was nothing like the Jungkook you'd fallen in love with. Maybe he was tired or stressed but it didn't give him a reason to talk to you like this. The two of you needed to talk like adults and communicate what the other was feeling.

"You know how it is." He mumbled once again, his patience growing thin and your heart clenched at his words, the ache of longing swelling within your chest.

"But I need you," you pleaded, your voice cracking as tears threatened to spill from your eyes.

"I need you here with me." But before you could utter another word, the line went dead, leaving you standing alone in the suffocating silence of your shared apartment. You couldn't believe he would even do this to you after you'd done everything you could to support him.

You'd moved from your home country to be with him in Korea for the brief periods he was home, you upended your entire life because he had asked you to but he couldn't find five minutes in his day to even let you know he was okay?

For hours, you sat by the window, lost in the labyrinth of your own thoughts as tears streaked down your cheeks. How could he do this to you? Sighing to yourself you made your way to the wardrobes and began to rifle through the drawers until you found what you were looking for, your passport ready to be used. If Jungkook thought you were going to stick around any longer to be treated as nothing better than a side piece then he was sorely mistaken.

Without a second thought about it, you dragged out some bags, your stomach churning as you folded and placed everything into your suitcase, each item weighing down on you as a reminder of everything you were leaving behind. You knew you couldn't take much with you right away but you could ship everything else before you went for a flight.

You couldn't continue to live in the shadow of a love that had grown cold and distant, and you refused not to listen to your own heart anymore. So you zipped up your bags with trembling hands and sighed to yourself, looking around at the now practically empty wardrobe and began to make your way out of the wardrobe and to your laptop, you needed to get a flight as soon as possible to get out of there.

As Jungkook stepped into your apartment, weary from the road and longing for the familiar embrace of you, he was met with an unsettling emptiness that sent a shiver down his spine. The flight had been awful and he was ready to crawl into bed beside you but for some reason the air seemed heavier, charged with an unspoken tension that prickled at his senses.

"Yn?" He called out, hearing nothing back except from the sound of a dripping tap in the kitchen, the house was freezing, as though you'd been gone for a while but it was 3 in the morning. You had no where to be at three in the morning.

"Babe. I get you're mad but I'm back now, I'm ready to talk about it....I'm sorry!" He cried out, throwing his keys down onto the coffee table when he realised that there were things missing. Photos of the two of you were ripped from the frames. His heart quickened its pace as he called out your name again, the sound falling flat against the silence of the apartment. Panic clawed at the edges of his mind as he searched every corner of the place, his footsteps echoing in the emptiness.

You had left him.

The realisation struck him like a blow to the chest, knocking the breath from his lungs as he staggered backward, his world crumbling around him. Images of your arguments flashed before his eyes, each word spoken in anger etched into his memory. The last time you'd spoken to him, you'd been begging for him to talk and he just ignored you. Choosing to hang up the phone and deal with his stress alone rather than talking it out with you.

Regret washed over him in waves, mingling with the bitter taste of remorse as he sank to his knees, his hands trembling with the weight of his own guilt. How could he have been so blind? How could he have let you slip through his fingers without even realising it? The two of you were meant to be, he knew that, anyone with eyes knew that and yet he'd let you slip away without giving it a second thought.

He had been selfish, neglectful, and cruel, driving away the one person who had loved him unconditionally. Tears blurred his vision as he whispered your name into the emptiness, a desperate plea for forgiveness that hung heavy in the air. But deep down, he knew that mere words could never mend the shattered pieces of their love. As he sank to his knees, the weight of his regret crushing him like a vice, he knew that he had lost you but he knew that he was going to do anything within his power to get you back.

The small café buzzed with the gentle hum of conversation, the soft aroma of freshly brewed coffee mingling with the scent of freshly baked pastries. You moved with ease behind the counter, your movements graceful as you prepared drinks and chatted with customers at the same time. You'd been home for almost a month now and you'd started a new life, you'd gotten a job and decided that this was your fresh start with everything.

As you worked, a group of old ladies settled themselves at a nearby table, their curious eyes lingering on you with a mixture of interest and intrigue. With mischievous twinkle in your eyes, you approached their table, a warm smile playing at the corners of your lips. You knew that all of them had been debating your arrival back home for weeks now and you wanted to tease them a little on it.

Not even your own family knew what had happened between you and Jungkook. You didn't want to risk a huge public blow out, you just wanted time alone and clearly he did too.

He could have been home from tour for almost a week now meaning he knew you were gone and you hadn't received a single call or a text asking where you were. Meaning...he didn't care.

"Good morning, ladies!" you greeted cheerfully, your voice carrying over the quiet murmur of the café.

"What can I get for you today?" The old ladies exchanged knowing glances before one of them spoke up, her voice tinged with curiosity.

"Yn, dear, we couldn't help but notice that you're back home. What brings you back to our little town?" Your smile widened as you leaned in closer, a playful glint in your eyes.

"Ah, you know how it is, ladies," you replied with a wink. "A girl needs a break from the hustle and bustle of the big city every now and then. Besides, who can resist the charm of our quaint little town?" You smirked at them, you hated small towns where everyone knew everyone's business, you preferred being alone in a big city where no one spoke to you. Where you'd never see your boyfriend. Or where everyone was so rude toward you for simply walking too slow or even too fast.

The old ladies chuckled at your response, their eyes twinkling with amusement as they nodded in agreement.

"You tease us too much, you can't blame us for wanting to know what happened," one of them said with a smile. Your heart tightened in your chest, you knew everyone would have their own theories to it but you'd tried not to think about it too much.

"But we can't help but wonder if there's more to the story than you're letting on." Your grin widened as you leaned back, placing a hand on your hip and shaking your head at them all.

"Oh, you know me, always keeping secrets," You teased, your laughter ringing out like a melody in the cosy confines of the café.

"We keep secrets." One of them smirked and you shook your head,

"My lips are sealed. Now, how about I whip up some of my famous cinnamon rolls to sweeten the mystery?" With a chorus of delighted nods, the old ladies eagerly accepted your offer, their laughter mingling with the warm chatter of the café. And as you disappeared into the kitchen, a sense of contentment washed over you. You liked being back but it was getting harder to hide the truth from people and a part of you felt lost without Jungkook. You missed what you used to have, part of you longed to go back but Jungkook had made it clear by never messaging that things were over between you both.

The soft chime of the bell signalled the arrival of a new customer, and you had flour all over your hands so you called out with practised ease,

"Welcome! Feel free to take a seat wherever you like." You called out without looking up, finally washing off your hands in the sink but as murmurs and gasps rippled through the café, your curiosity piqued, and you lifted your gaze, only to find Jungkook standing there, his presence like a sudden thunderclap in the peaceful atmosphere of the café.

Shock and anger surged through your veins, your heart pounding in your chest as you struggled to contain the whirlwind of emotions swirling within you. How dare he show up here, uninvited and unwelcome, after everything that had happened between you? What was he even thinking? Someone could see him, photograph him and it'd be all over the news.

Yet, under the anger you felt toward him, a part of you couldn't deny the flutter of excitement that danced in the depths of your chest. Despite your hurt, there was still a part of you that longed for his presence, that yearned for the warmth of his touch and the familiarity of his voice.

For a moment, your eyes locked in a silent battle of wills, each word left unspoken hanging heavy in the air between you. And then, with a defiant tilt of your chin, you turned away, busying yourself with the tasks at hand, determined not to let him see the effect his unexpected appearance had on you.

Jungkook smiled at a few of the people in the cafe, sending a wink at the old ladies who were all smirking at him. They'd been the ones letting him know where you were. He'd been in your hometown for over three days now searching for you, your family refused to reveal anything to him so he went searching. Jungkook made his way into the kitchens and you sighed a little, refusing to look at him.

"Why are you here, Jungkook?" You asked, your voice soft yet tinged with a hint of steel.

"After everything that's happened, why would you come looking for me?" Jungkook's gaze never wavered as he reached out to gently cup your trembling hands in his own, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.

"Because I can't imagine my life without you, Yn," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, he'd planned everything he wanted to say to you but all of that had flown from his mind the second he saw you here.

"I've made mistakes, more than I care to admit, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right." A tear slipped down your cheek as you struggled to contain the tumult of emotions swirling within you.

"But what about your career, your dreams?" You asked, your voice trembling with uncertainty.

"You can't give any of that up. You're just bored now you're back from tour." You mumbled at him, harshly and he didn't blame you.

"I'd give it up if it meant being with you," You scoffed at him, turning around to face him and you saw him properly for the first time. Bags under his eyes, his hair a mess, facial hair even growing, he was letting himself go.

Jungkook shook his head, his eyes never leaving yours. It didn't matter if his dreams were in Korea, if you were here then he was here too. Being away from you for so long had given him clarity that he knew he didn't want that life without you.

"You are my dream, Yn," he said, his voice unwavering. Gasps sounded inside of the cafe as onlookers took int he scene in front of them, all of them interested to see what was going to happen.

"Without you, none of it means anything. I would give it all up in a heartbeat if it meant I got to keep you by my side." And in that moment, as the weight of his words settled upon you, you felt something shift within your heart. With a trembling breath, you reached out to brush away the tears that stained his cheeks. It was going to take a lot of work to get back to being together the way you used to be but if he was willing to work then so were you.

"I'm tired of running, Jungkook. I'm tired of being second best to your job. I get that you love it but...I need more," you whispered, your voice barely a whisper in the hushed stillness of the café.

"But if we're going to do this, it has to be different this time. We have to do better, together." A smile tugged at the corners of Jungkook's lips as he pulled you into his embrace, the warmth of his touch a beacon of hope in the darkness.

"I promise, baby," he whispered against your hair, his voice a fervent prayer.

"I'll spend the rest of my days proving it to you." He whispered, prepared to do whatever it took to keep you in his life.

It had been a month of you both alone in your home town and you were finally prepairing to go back to Seoul together, your things were packed and shipped but you were saying goodbye to everyone you'd grown to know in the cafe.

"If he hurts you again, you come get me." Red - one of the elderly ladies - said as she looked at you, arching a brow. Jungkook had grown to know all of them on a personal level but he knew they were all looking out for you,

"Yes, ma'am." You promised, hugging her tightly as Jungkook smirked from the doorway, happy that you'd made friends.

"You better bring her back more too! I want you both here for more 80th Birthday party!" She screams at him and he chuckles.

"I promise we'll be here," He told her, wrapping his arms around you and bringing you into his embrace.

@chiisaiblog@sw33tnight@kaitieskidmore97@laylasbunbunny@tinyoonsblog@whitefoxgirl@katnisspeetaprim@acciocriativity@choisoorin@heyjiminnie@btsiguess-kpop@halesandy@gothic4under4lord@soulphoenix1618@aerastus@jin-from-the-block@lenfilms@elizaschuyler18@piratequeen-impact @Namgiswifey@delulu18@xyahrinx@katsukis1wife@anthropologymajorkpopmultistan@blairscott@4-chan-inpadella@swga-ficrecs@niktwazny303@armystay89@myyouthdonut@xakx@kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy@kpopmenace143@loveforred@b1nn1e-1s-cut3@elissasimp @royallyjjk @parkjennykim @piercedddriver

#bts #bts x reader #bts imagine #bts imagines #jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook imagines

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rebeliz7 · 23 hours

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Dress

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Request: 90 sounds sexy and I want that with Wanda. 👀

90. “Please, remind me again why we’re having sex behind a tree?”

…

“Please, remind me again why we’re having sex behind a tree?” Wanda moans as you sneak your hand under her dress, and she wraps her arms tighter around you.

“Do you really care why?” You ask against her ear, as your fingers slip down her slit and the lavender smell of her shampoo fills your senses. “Christ! You’re so wet.”

“Don’t tease.” She whines, making you smile at her growing desperation.

Not that you aren’t desperate yourself, you are. It’s been such a long day, and undercover work is mostly fun but when your fiance wears the kind of dress that she’s wearing today, it becomes torture for you.

You infiltrated an exclusive party in a fancy yacht, where you were surrounded by A list actors and producers and directors, that would have made you a bit excited to meet if you weren’t here to gather intel on one of the biggest mob bosses in modern history.

You both got in under the pretense of being the granddaughters of an acclaimed award winner director, who occasionally doubles as an informant for S.H.I.E.L.D. Now you are in the mansion of one of those actors, waiting till everyone else leaves so you can do your job and install a few cameras, so you can finally begin to build a substantial case against these people.

With a swift movement of your wrist you slip one finger inside of her, making her gasp as she clings onto you for support. She’s so ridiculously wet that the thought of tasting her makes you feel so thirsty, and almost desperate to be back home.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this here,” she says with a smile as you move to capture her lips in a messy kiss.

“This dress is ridiculously nice,” you tell her before you drop to your knees and she smiles mischievously, her hands on your shoulders as she leans against the truck, her bottom lip caught between her lips as she gets ready.

“Accessible too.” She laughs as you run your hands up her legs, and she spreads her legs a little wider for you.

“Would you two please, please turn off your coms?” Natasha’s voice comes through and Wanda pushes your shoulders instinctively, as you stand up quickly, heart in your throat.

“Jesus, Romanoff!” You huff as Wanda hides her blushing face in your chest, and you struggle to get air back into your lungs.

“The dress is sinful, we all agree, but you two are on a mission.” She says and you can hear the amusement in her tone, and you’d laugh but -

“We?” You ask softly, Wanda’s hands gripping your waist as you run your hands down her back to calm her down.

“Sorry,” Natasha says and laughter booms in your ear, laughter from the boys back at base. “But what did you two expect?” Natasha laughs softly, and Wanda whines against your chest.

“Not for you all to act like adults, for sure.” You tell them and Wanda finally looks up at you, she’s still blushing but there’s a smile on her face now.

“I can always just erase this memory from your heads,” she says lightly and Natasha groans, loudly.

“Did you notice the guests are leaving? It’s time to move.”

“We’re on it.” You speak before you push the little button close to your ear, and Wanda does the same.

“We’re never gonna hear the end of it,” she says as you kiss her softly.

“Screw them.” You shrug and she chuckles, she knows how little you care about the opinion of others. “Let’s do this fast.” You kiss her again. “I can’t wait to taste you and finally get this dress off of you.”

“Turn. Off. Your. Coms.” Natasha’s voice has you pulling back again, and true to her word, you totally missed the off button.

…

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff

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starseungs · 2 days

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a dream and a dance. hjs.

han jisung x gn!reader — dreaming was a lot harder as an adult than it was back when you were but a small kid. but maybe—just maybe, you could indulge in this dream come true for once.

genre/s — fluff, pinch of angst, post-grad au(?) • 2.0k words

warning/s — alcohol, setting is in a nightclub, life is hard (idk how to explain this)

note — inspired by han's new skz-record: 1,2,3,4,5 ! also i know nothing about nightclubs but this was the theme that came to mind so im just basing off vibes 😭

Dream while you’re still young—while you still can.

Growing up, that line had always been an integral part of your life. You still remember the first time you heard it; the soft hushes of your beloved grandmother as she handed you a bowl of freshly cut fruit on a particularly hot day. The six-year-old you once were was staring at the person behind the television, starry-eyed, as you studied the figure’s actions with intent. You could faintly recall a question being asked in that hushed living room, something along the lines of whether or not you found what they were doing interesting. It was a hazy memory for detailed descriptions, but you could imagine your younger self positively replying with an excited squeal, one fit for a child of that age, which would’ve been followed by the line that you’d have kept in your heart for the rest of your life.

As one would, you’ve cycled through your fair share of these so-called dreams in the duration of your early lifetime. There was a time in third grade where you made up your mind to become a science teacher—the thought quickly being replaced just a mere two years later when you found a sudden interest in becoming a chef. Sixth grade you talked big for their age, claiming that they would open their own restaurant after graduating culinary school, despite not knowing a single thing about cooking other than all the hours spent bingeing MasterChef. You would always get a laugh out of the memory, knowing that it, too, was but a short-lived dream of a young mind still easily impressed by the world around them.

The pattern of switching life aspirations continued past elementary, and throughout your hectic high school years. With the constant new experiences you faced day to day, it was inevitable that eventually you would start seeing everything in a different light. It was part of the maturing process, you’d come to realize a few years later—getting hit by the epiphany that you no longer went through your 24-hour cycle the same way you did back when you were ten. It was a bittersweet revelation, one that ended with you looking up old shows you used to watch and playing episodes until the sunrise before forcing yourself out of bed to get ready for class.

That wasn’t the first time you pulled an all-nighter, but it was the first one that made you feel calm throughout the day despite severely lacking sleep.

College came around, and now you had to face yet another hurdle in your journey: admitting that you had absolutely no idea what you were doing anymore. You were attending university—check. You were in a program you personally chose—check. You had a decent social life—check; or maybe half a point, since you didn’t exactly have much time to hang out with any of them, instead opting for promises of catching up that were slowly building in number but barely decreasing. Before you knew it, the degree life was slowly eating all of the dreams that were left inside of you, leaving you with a semi-paved path completely devoid of color. What was once a garden littered with numerous flowers of the rainbow now had wilted into dehydrated brownish hues, layed lifelessly beside the narrow road.

Perhaps your grandmother was right. Dreaming was a lot harder as an adult than it was back when you were but a small kid.

Still, you pushed through, just to see the end. There was no use turning back when you had already crawled your way up this high. All that was left for you if you did was a fall so hard that you doubt you’d even be able to recover. The image alone made you shiver, prompting you to lift the glass of liquor towards your mouth, letting the sip travel down your throat and feeling the faux warmth it provided. Your eyes shifted to the clock propped up against the bar counter’s wall, watching the hands tick at a uniform pace. It was weird knowing that time always stayed steady. These days, it seemed all over the place—sometimes slowing, sometimes speeding. At this particular moment, it was like a flowing stream.

What kind of pace it was, you weren’t too sure.

What you did know, though, was that the numbers on the clock were barely visible; bright neon LED lights being the only thing illuminating the dark room they called a nightclub. The speakers were blasting some upbeat pop song, entertaining the crowd trying to lose themselves on the dance floor. You could only watch from your bar stool as a girl trips over thin air, obviously a little too inebriated, before getting caught by her friend, who was now fussing over her drunken state.

Burning liquid passed your tongue as you took another sip of your drink. Unlike that girl, you went to this place alone and on your own accord. In your mind, you contemplated why you chose to be here instead of a peaceful bar that didn’t involve a DJ and a dancefloor—but this works too. Maybe a part of you wanted to experience the thrill one last time before adult life completely takes a toll on you, so who were you to deprive yourself of the wish? Your university days had already ended just a few hours ago, with you stepping on stage to get your diploma. It wasn’t a crime to let yourself have fun after all the sacrifices you made for the sake of your damned future.

And so you continued to watch—getting lost in the sea of bright lights and the crashing waves of your thoughts, before a familiar voice snapped you out of the trance you put yourself in.

“What are you doing here, looking all miserable like that?”

You blinked owlishly at the face that entered your line of sight. A face that was very recognizable to you, despite the undoubtedly long time you’ve gone without seeing it.

“Han Jisung?”

“The one and only,” Jisung grins.

“Wow,” you breathed out, completely taken aback at the situation. “I haven’t seen you since our first year of uni! How have you been?”

You and Jisung used to be in the same major before he dropped out right before the start of your second year to pursue music. It would be an absolute lie if you said you didn’t miss him, especially since he was the first friend you ever made in university. You could still recall the moment he approached you in a class like it was yesterday—the Jisung of four years ago scrambling to take a seat after barely just beating the professor entering through the front door. The image of the freshly turned nineteen-year-old panting desperately evoked your concern, causing you to stare at him a little longer than necessary. But it wouldn’t be Jisung if he wasn’t observant, so he returned the stare without an ounce of shame and followed with a question if you had any spare water he could drink.

Luckily, your water bottle had just been filled a few minutes before class started, and thus a beautiful friendship was born.

Jisung took his hands out of his pockets before taking a seat at the empty bar stool to your right. “Life’s been great! Two semesters were enough for me to realize that the academic life just wasn’t for me,” he chuckles. “Oh, and congrats on graduating, by the way!”

You couldn’t help the small smile that found its way to your face at his greeting. “You knew?”

“Ah,” Jisung exclaims, leaning forward to rest his arms on the long table in front while still making eye contact to cement his presence in the conversation. “I attended the ceremony earlier, actually. You know—for Hyunjin and Seungmin. I also watched you stand on stage. That’s why I’m genuinely surprised to see you here like this.”

He looks around for a bit before returning to face you. “Where are your friends?”

You shrugged carelessly, not too bothered with the implication. “Not a clue,” you say with a light chuckle. “Probably out celebrating with their families—or maybe even with each other. Either way, I didn’t get an invite, but I already expected that.”

Jisung simply nods at your reply, and his lack of a reaction amused you more than it should. “And you? Out with Thing 1 and Thing 2?”

“Damn, they still call Seungmin and Hyunjin that? My legacy stood strong, huh?” Jisung barked out a hearty laugh before gesturing somewhere to the side of the club. “But yeah, our group’s over there in one of the sofa cubicles. You can join us if you want; it’s your day too, after all. We should be celebrating!”

You waved his offer away politely. “It’s fine, Jisung. I’m sure they wouldn’t want me crashing in. We’re not even close enough to do that.”

Jisung paused to think for a moment, his hand rising up to support his chin. Your eyes guiltily wander a bit higher, stopping at his rosy lips for a brief second before quickly going back to glare at your glass of liquor.

Admittedly, you once had a crush on the man beside you. Han Jisung was one of the more attractive individuals on campus back then, along with the rest of his friend group. The lingering gazes of people weren’t foreign to you, as you had your fair share of experiences with them when you used to hang out with him. Jisung was simply someone who caught others’ attention, whether it was intentional or not. Of course, you weren’t exempt from that notion. The only difference was that he was a good friend you didn't want to risk losing and that you weren’t interested in dating at that moment. Romance was another dream of yours you couldn’t reach, no matter how much you yearned for it. And so you buried your feelings in a grave, eventually getting forgotten once he left your life.

You could only hope that a zombie apocalypse doesn’t start soon.

“Hm, alright,” he eventually chimes. “I’ll leave you be, soon. But, on one condition.” It was your turn to ponder over his words.

“And what’s your condition, Han?”

Jisung attempts to hide the way he fidgets with his fingers, which you painfully caught on to too fast for your liking. He took a few more seconds to collect himself before sitting up straight and turning towards you to shyly say, “Dance with me?”

Your eyes widened into saucers, not believing what you had just heard. It was in an attempt to calm your racing heart that you accidentally froze into silence, your brain already deciding to keep 911 on standby in case you stopped breathing altogether. You internally cursed yourself for feeling a faint hope spark back in your heart, wishing for the romance you never let yourself indulge in. This wasn’t the time, nor was it the place, that you thought was appropriate to rekindle your teenage wishes.

Unfortunately, your lack of a response made Jisung inhale audibly, seemingly preparing himself to bolt away in embarrassment—if only you hadn’t noticed his actions too, the year of friendship coming back to you to recognize his habit. You quickly willed yourself to spit out any words you could.

"Well, that’s sudden,” you shakily voiced out, but decided to lighten the awkward situation with a cough. “What, think I’m hot now after gaining a few more years?”

Jisung exhaled in relief. “Not exactly,” he rubs the back of his neck, “you were already hot from the beginning.” You roll your eyes at his answer.

“Haha. You think you’re so hilarious, Jisung.”

“That, I do,” he smirks, regaining his confidence. Jisung lifts a hand towards you, opening his palm in an offering gesture. “So, what about that dance?”

You scoffed good-naturedly before taking his hand, pulling him up his seat to drag the two of you towards the center of the establishment that was still as chaotic as you left it earlier.

“Make sure you show me a good time, Jisung.”

“Oh, you won’t be disappointed, Y/N.”

Maybe—just maybe, you could indulge in this dream come true for once.

mastertag 🔖— send in an ask if you want to be added ! 🫶

@fairyki @hysgf @euncsace @comet-falls @starlostseungmin @ameliesaysshoo @hyunverse @djeniryuu @lixxpix

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mellowsadistic · 23 hours

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The Flower Girl - Part 3

“You remember what to do, don’t you, Gracie?” Olivia asked, handing her a basket full of flower petals.

“Uh-hu!” Grace mumbled around her pacifier, nodding eagerly. No! She couldn’t walk down the aisle like this! She was supposed to be getting married! This was supposed to be the best day of her life!

“Good girl,” said Olivia, giving her a gentle push.

Grace toddled awkwardly, her legs pushed apart by the thickness of her soggy diaper. She waddled into the entranceway and stood there with the aisle ahead of her. Heads turned in her direction, smiles slipped from faces, and people started whispering to each other.

She saw Rob standing at the altar, her gorgeous husband-to-be, staring at her with a stunned expression on his face – his beautiful bride was dressed as an overgrown flower girl, her sexy body crammed into a ridiculous little girl’s dress, her elegant hair in pigtails, a dummy in her mouth, the hint of a nappy flashing about her waist.

Grace’s mother hurried over to her. “What’s going on?” she whispered, taking in the sight of Grace’s braless tits crammed into the blouse of the dress, and the flower crown in her hair. “What are you doing? Why aren’t you in your wedding dress?” Then her nose twitched as she smelled her adult daughter’s wet diaper. “Grace…” she said in shock, looking down at her daughter’s crotch, seeing the hint of discoloured padding peeking out below the hem of her poofy dress. “Have you wet yourself?”

“Jessica’s wearing my wedding dwess!” Grace chirped, her words slightly muffled by her pacifier. “It wooks so much better on her dan it does on a stupid, big-titted baby wike me. I’m just da flower giwl!”

Grace was cringing inside, but at least her mother knew that something was wrong. She took her daughter’s hand looking deeply concerned, making as if to usher Grace back out of the door, but at that moment there was movement behind them, and she looked up. Immediately, her horrified expression relaxed into a smile. No. Grace looked around as well and saw Jessica standing there in her wedding dress, smirking at her. No! Not her mother too! How was Jessica doing this?! Someone had to help her!

But nobody did. Her mother turned her back around and patted her on her soggy diapered bum. “Go on, sweetie,” she coaxed. “You know what to do. Being the flower girl is a very important job!”

Grace started toddling down the aisle, the sagging seat of her nappy flashing beneath the short hem of her flower girl dress with every step she took. She willed herself to stop, concentrated as hard as she could on taking back control of her body, but it was useless. She reached into the basket she was carrying and tossed a handful of flowers into the air, giggling delightedly.

Everyone was looking at her very differently now, smiling broadly and making cutesy faces at her.

Then, quite suddenly, she stopped. For a moment, Grace thought that she’d got control of her body back, but then, with a thrill of horror, she realised that there was a growing pressure in her bowels. Oh God, she thought. Not that. Please, anything but that!

Grace’s face went red. She clenched her fists and bent her knees. Then, on what was supposed to be the most special day of her life, in front of all her family and friends, in front of the man she was supposed to marry and the woman who was stealing him from her, Gracie let out a loud grunt and started making a big, stinky mess in her diaper.

There was a chorus of ‘awwws’ and some tittering laughter in the crowd.

Grace was screaming inside her head, but on the outside she just hitched a big smile back onto her face as she stood up straight again when she was done. With her pants now full of poop, she continued stomping up at aisle, tossing out flowers, her loaded nappy now drooping well below the hem of her dress, swinging pendulously between her thighs for all to see.

Grace felt like she was going mad. The shame was too much. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be how she walked down the aisle! It had to be some sort of nightmare! She looked up at Rob, her last hope, but his eyes were fixed over her head. He was staring at Jessica with adoration in his eyes. No!

Once she got close to the altar, Caroline and Annie moved forwards to take her by the hands and guide her off to the side with them, where she stood for the recent of the ceremony, fidgeting with her dress. She wasn’t even watching when Jessica and Rob said their vows and kissed. She was too busy looking down at her diaper, shaking her bottom and watching her loaded Pampers jiggling about between her legs.

Not long afterwards, she was led over to a corner for a nappy change. Her three bridesmaids did it – the people who should have been her bridesmaids. Annie tickled her tummy, Caroline pulled silly faces at her, and Olivia worked away at her messy bottom with a pack of wet wipes. Grace wished she could be swallowed up by the ground and disappear forever, or better yet wake up to find this had all been a horrible dream, but all she could do was giggle and gurgle while her three best friends changed her stinky diaper.

Once she was clean and dry, a fresh pair of Pampers hugging her bottom, she was led over to Jessica.

“There you are, sweetie!” she cooed, her eyes glinting again. “What a good girl you were! I know you had a little whoopsie-daisy poo-poo accident in your nappy in the middle of the aisle, but that’s only to be expected of a big baby like you.”

Grace had never hated anyone more in her whole life.

“And I know you must be a bit upset about not getting to marry Rob,” Jessica continued, “but I have a surprise for you! Rob and I are going to adopt you as our little girl! Isn’t that nice?”

Grace felt like her insides had turned to ice. Adopted? How long was this going to go on for?! But she started jumping up and down on the spot in excitement. “Yay! Yay! Yay! You’re gonna be my Mama and Dada!”

“That’s right, little one!” she cooed. “I’m going to take such good care of you.”

“Maybe you’ll even be able to get married yourself one day,” one of the women surrounding them said to Grace.

Jessica laughed. “Oh no, I don’t think marriage is going to be in Gracie’s future. She’s far too immature for that. I’m going to keep her away from boys.”

“But Mama!” Grace whined. “I wanna get married!”

Quite suddenly, in full view of everyone, Jessica lifted up the back of Grace’s dress and delivered several sharp swats to her behind, aiming for what little of her bottom wasn’t covered by her thick disposable diaper.

“Owwwwie!” Grace cried, tears filling her eyes. Her bottom was stinging painfully. She seethed on the inside. If she still had control of her body, she swore she’d rip and claw at Jessica until she was nothing but ribbons.

“Bad baby!” Jessica scolded, and Grace felt her lower lip beginning to tremble. “No boys for you, little girl. You’ve proved you’re too immature for dating, let alone marriage.”

Tears ran down Grace’s cheeks. “Sowwy, Mama!” she sobbed.

“Suck your thumb, baby,” Jessica ordered, and Grace’s thumb immediately flew to her lips. She shoved the digit into her mouth and started sucking on it wetly. A line of drool spilled from her mouth and down her chin.

“Good girl,” said Jessica.

“I see you’ve got her in hand,” Grace’s mother chuckled. She’d just walked over to join them. “I never spanked little Gracie myself, but maybe that was a mistake.”

“Oh yes, I think so,” said Jessica. “A naughty little girl like her needs plenty of strict discipline. She’ll be under my thumb for a very, very long time.”

Everyone nodded their heads approvingly, and Grace’s mother said, “I’m so glad you helped us all understand that my daughter is really just an overgrown toddler. Just imagine the thought of this little stinker getting married to Rob!”

Everyone laughed.

“Are you planning to let her grow up again?” one of Grace’s cousins asked.

“Oh no, she’s perfect just the way she is,” said Jessica, and even though she was smiling pleasantly, there was a malicious glint in her eyes as she looked at Grace. “It’s a lifetime of early bedtimes, smacked bottoms, and smelly nappies for my little Gracie.”

Grace sucked her thumb noisily. A lifetime?! Was Jessica planning to keep her like this forever?! She felt herself start peeing again. The thirsty padding between her thighs soaked up her wee-wee, and her diaper began to droop.

“Rob and I had better be going,” Jessica said. “We have a lovely honeymoon to look forward to.” She turned to look down at Grace. “But don’t worry, little girl.” She grinned horribly. “Mama will be back to play with you again very soon.”

#mellowsadistic

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anemoiashifts · 15 hours

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mental health check-in for reality shifting.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

as we all know, reality shifting is generally neural thing but tends to be glorified & romanized by a select few due to people wanting to have a better situation or a more desirable life.

that in itself is totally fine but this post is created with the intent to make sure the community has a healthy relationship with shifting & if not possible solutions.

if mental health is left unchecked it can lead to destructive behaviors & can worsen preexisting mental health concerns. for me personally, that’s not what shifting is about. you can learn about yourself & grow without even shifting. the expansion of your perspective & becoming more empathetic to yourself is something i believe is extremely important.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ how often do you think about shifting ?

while it’s fun to daydream & think about your desired reality — does it consume your life or take away from other tasks that need to get done in this reality? if you’re somebody who has maladaptive daydreaming disorder (like myself!) it can exacerbate the fantasy-like aspect of thinking about shifting.

if you’re someone whose mind wanders a lot do something productive. this could be finishing some homework that you’ve been putting off for a long time or rearranging your bedroom. stuff like partaking in hobbies while listening to youtube videos in the background may help too.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ why are you shifting ?

is it because you’re searching for something bigger ? maybe you’re looking for friends ? while you probably aren’t going to be able to meet your favorite characters here, you can meet lots of other people & make new connections at anytime. if it’s in person or even if it’s in an online space , i bet there are lots of people in this comment section or any shifting video who would love to be your friend.

defining why you want to shift can do wonders for uncovering more about yourself. 90% of the things people want to shift for are & can be found here & you’re more then worthy of them. just because you want something like love or a sense of belonging doesn’t mean you have to travel the multiverse for it.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ “i want to k!ll myself because i can’t shift.”

while i understand frustration, extremes that result in life altering & ending choices are never good and quite frankly, frightening for a creator to see in their comment sections. most sv!c!des are committed on impulse. we go through so many emotions on the daily & process so much information a day. taking a moment alone to think & break down thought process & long term effects your actions will have is a nice way to come back down to earth.

meditation is also a great tool to calm down. you can even use shifting guided meditations without the actual intention to shift. breath work has also been helpful to me.

i understand these suggestions aren’t long term fixes but if you’re someone who has echoed these words & truly meant it then i cannot recommend therapy & possible taking a break from shifting even more to focus on yourself right here where you are. this may not be the answer you’d like to hear but it’s the one that is possibly needed.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ timing.

there is no specific time frame that you have to shift. both children & adults do hold the capability to shift. if someone tells you, you can’t shift because ___ or that you’ll age out of something its simply not true. things take time & it’s okay if your journey doesn’t look like everyone else’s. there’s no need to stress yourself out. try to enjoy the journey as well as being excited for the outcome. essentially, a large part of the shifting journey is meditation & affirmations which are both beneficial to your mental & physical self. try to sprinkle in some self love affirmations or general positive thoughts too. even if you need to take a step away from shifting & pick it up at a later date, i encourage you to do so if it’s stressing you out or you’re only focusing on shifting or neglecting your life / responsibilities here.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ shadow & trauma work.

answering questions that are meant to make you think & deeply reflect are tools that hi light some issues you may not even realize you’ve had. i have a tumblr post here with some, but for tiktok, ill list some on the next side. these ones are specifically for shifting but i encourage you to venture out to discover some more personal ones to expand upon your answers to these.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

i should also mention, i’m not a therapist so take what i say as non-professional advice & mere suggestions & a starting point to truly expand what shifting has done for you, negatively & positivity. im a huge advocate for therapy & if you feel comfortable enough expand upon these conversations in sessions if you feel comfortable.

i understand my audience is varied in age but i do notice a lot of you are younger then myself. it’s hurts to see people who are so young stress themselves out this much over trying to shift. i really do care about you & want to see all of you happy — with or without shifting.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

#reality shifting #desired reality #shifting #shiftblr #shiftok #shifting motivation #shifting realities #shifter

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beachbxtchforev · 16 hours

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Stagecoach Diary

your friends had organized the perfect weekend, but you’re forced to share a space with your enemy Drew.

pairing: Drew Starkey x fem!reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: 18+, smut, oral (fem! receiving), curse words, close proximity trope ish, enemies to lovers

country music. the desert. drinks. friends.

you were so excited to experience your first Stagecoach. growing up, your Midwest summers were always accompanied by country radio, so the opportunity to see all of your favorite artists in one place was one you couldn’t pass on. Maddie organized the whole thing; plane tickets, festival passes, and a gorgeous house just outside of the festival grounds.

it was also your first time traveling with your group of friends.

when you guys finally arrived at the airbnb, Maddie explained how she planned the sleeping arrangements. her and Carlacia in one bedroom, Madison and Mariah in another, Chase and Austin sharing, and you in a room by yourself. your single room had a catch, however. Drew, who was sleeping on the air mattress, would need to use the bathroom attached to your room since it was closest to the bonus area that was being makeshifted into a bedroom for him.

while you wouldn’t think this would be a big deal, it was.

you and Drew were not friends. you could probably be classified as acquaintances, mutuals maybe, but definitely not friends. and you really don’t know why you guys aren’t close. when you were first introduced to the friend group, he smiled, introduced himself and then acted as if you didn’t exist. you deemed him as rude and childish, wondering what you did in five minutes to push him away.

so, it became mutual. neither of you communicated and you made an awkward tension for the rest of the group.

“y/n is that okay? I know it’s not ideal but it was the best house available for the weekend” Maddie reasoned with you, treading lightly to test out your feelings regarding the living situation.

“yes, totally fine! Drew and I are adults, we can share a space for the weekend” you said, convincing her that you were brushing off your differences for the time being. which was partially true, as long as you didn’t really have to interact, it wasn’t a problem.

you roll your bag to your room, eager to start getting ready since it’s Friday morning, tonight being the first of the festival.

Maddie hired a glam team for the girls, so really all you needed was to put together an outfit. researching Stagecoach beforehand, you noticed it was a major fashion event among influencers and celebrities. you have a small following from just being associated with the cast, so you know you had to do it big.

you opted for a sheer tie front tank, lace midi skirt, chunky belt, and boots. given that the festival is multiple days, you can really experiment with different styles.

thankfully, the girls and guys had separated for this part of the process, so you and Drew weren’t running into any problems regarding sharing the bathroom. the boys moved to the backyard of the house, getting their drinking started early and playing corn hole while you girls gathered in the living room with the professionals.

after doing some professional photos out back and inside, it was time for the group to head to the festival. you were tipsy from the pregame, swaying and singing on your walk over, hand in hand with Maddie and Carlacia. the group laughed and giggled at you guys, taking some candid photos and videos that you know are bound to make it in the photo dump.

you guys had VIP passes, but stopped frequently to talk with fans, get drinks, and make sure the group was still together. finally, Morgan Wallen came on main stage and had you singing and dancing your little heart out. what you didn’t notice in your drunken moments was the fact that Drew couldn’t keep his eyes off of you all night. the way you moved your arms to reach for one of the girls, the way your hips swayed when you danced, especially because of your cheeky bottoms. he became infatuated by you, the way he always had been.

the show was over and you guys made your way back to the house. you had sobered up a lot by now and were ready to get in the shower to wash the day’s dirt off of you. walking into your bedroom, you gather your things for a hot shower. you didn’t realize that the bathroom door didn’t close all of the way when you stripped to get under the water.

the mix of the warmth and pressure instantly relaxed you as the water pelted your sore body. so relaxed that behind the noise of the water running, you couldn’t hear Drew knocking on your bedroom door and ultimately letting himself in when you didn’t answer.

you also didn’t notice that he caught a glimpse of you behind the clear glass wall of the shower through the crack in the bathroom door. he couldn’t tear his eyes away, even if he tried. you were lathering soap on your body, running your hands over your chest and down your arms. he could feel himself growing in his pants at the sight of your simple movements, and it wasn’t until he dropped his shampoo on the ground that you noticed his presence.

“Drew?” you gasped, “how long have yo-“

“sorry! sorry, I-“ he quickly put his head down, trying to grab the bottle off the floor, flustered.

he finally picked up his things, about to turn and leave when he hears your voice, “wait!”

he doesn’t know where to look when he turns back around, awkwardly acknowledging the fact that you just caught him staring at you naked and he’s fully clothed.

“you can get in if you want to shower. I haven’t even touched my hair yet and I will probably take forev-“ you start rambling, but notice he has now stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. you watch closely as he begins to remove his clothes, biting your lip when he starts to reveal himself.

you don’t know what you were thinking when you offered to let him in the shower with you, but you were enjoying the view. when he steps out of his jeans, you see his cock for the first time and wonder if you have ever seen one prettier than his. it’s hard, and long, probably due to the fact that he has been looking at your boobs for the last five minutes and imaging the rest of your wet body.

you make room for him when he steps into the stall. “hi” you say sheepishly, as it comes out in a whisper. it felt like if you used your full voice it would pull you out of the moment.

he grins down at you, instantly relieving you of any awkwardness that could be happening. his eyes scan down your body, “you’re so beautiful y/n,” he murmurs as he bring his hand up to caress your face, “and motherfuckin’ sexy too” he adds.

you giggle, shocked to hear he feels this way about you. you nuzzle your head into his palm that’s attached to your cheek, taking a step closer to him so that your nipples are grazing his abdomen. the contact makes your take a sharp inhale. you’re so wet just at his simple actions, hoping he makes a move.

his thumb swipes back and forth, tracing your cheekbone before moving over your lips. you can’t help but open your mouth, running your tongue over it and sucking.

he groans, “shit baby, you’re playing with fire,” his words making you clench your thighs as your tongue swirls around the pad of his finger.

you release it from your mouth, “and what’re you gonna do about it, Starkey?”

his response is clear when his mouth comes down on yours, teeth slightly clashing, tongues fighting for dominance. all of your built up tension coming out in a kiss. you moan into his mouth as he brings his left hand to your chest, keeping the right locked around your jaw. he pulls away as his fingers tweak your nipple, “this okay baby?” he asks to which your fiercely nod your head.

“I need words sweetheart,”

“y-yes, please. more.” you moan out.

he chuckles, “good girl” then returns his lips to your neck. you feel his tongue meet the junction between your neck and shoulder before moving lower. replacing his hand, his lips close around your left bud. sucking and nibbling, getting another moan from you before moving to the right side. your hands grip his hair, trying to keep yourself upright while letting the pleasure takeover.

his lips move lower as he gets onto his knees in front of you. ghosting over your bellybutton, he grips your right calf and swings your leg over his shoulder.

“such a pretty pussy y/n,” he says, eyes quickly glancing up to meet yours, “so wet for me baby”

“yes, all for you Drew” you respond. breathless and he hasn’t even touched you yet.

“I’m gonna taste you, okay?”

“yes, yes! please” your hand in his hair pushes him toward you, waiting to feel his mouth on you.

he licks a stripe over your slit, before his tongue rubs circles against your clit. the noises coming from you encourage him to wrap his lips around your bud and suck. you swear your knees might give out.

he moves his tongue to your hole, thrusting it in in a quick motion. you let out a scream, hoping the whole house doesn’t realize what you two are doing. your back is now pushed against the glass, cold feeling good against your hot skin as he tongue fucks you. “Drew! I’m gonna cum!” you breath out.

“cum on my tongue baby, let go,” he responds ready to catch your release. your whole body jolts as the band in your lower belly snaps, gushing onto his face.

“if I would have known this is how it was going to go, I would have walked in on you a lot sooner”

let me know what you think! 🤍✨

#drew starkey #rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #rafe obx #rafe outerbanks #rafe smut #outer banks #rafe cameron edits #rafe fanfiction #rafe fic #drew starkey smut

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genderhawk · 9 months

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im going to sue Roald Dahl for false advertisement and consequent emotional distress damages because, as it turns out, being a neglected little autistic girl who reads a million books at a college level by the time circumstances force you into school (against your parents wises) does NOT give you any kind of powers at all let alone telekinesis

#actuallyautistic #not a girl anymore #still autistic tho #going to school and besting your tyranical teacher in a game of wits wont save you from the neglectful family either #you have to grow up and do that yourself as an adult #cw child abuse #but the child aka me is ok now so dont worry and its briefly mentioned #matilda the musical #matilda by Roald Dahl #Roald Dahl

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atlantic-riona · 1 year

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full offense but if you write a book about Neverland or Peter Pan and have there be a romance between Wendy and Hook I am sending you outside to consider your crimes. don't bother coming back inside until you repent

#'ooooooh captain hook is so sexy let's do a love triangle—'#do you hear yourself? why are you sexualizing a story meant for children #really think about that for a second #because you could go and write an original story about a woman who travels to a magic land and meets a sexy pirate or whatever #so why do you want to take a character who is a child and hook her up with a character who's an adult #and is also directly thematically tied to her father #(if you consider that in stage productions and movies hook is always played by the same actor for mr. darling)#(AND FURTHERMORE)#(one might argue that Peter Pan Hook and Mr. Darling represent the boy who won't grow up #the man who didn't grow up and the man who did grow up)#so if we're going down that road why are you simplifying those themes to 'hook sexy peter immature #literally do not talk to me until you have reread the original and considered the actual themes and takeaways from it #I rank this as a worse crime than taking a beloved magic land like Wonderland Oz or Neverland and going #'ooooh what if it was DARK and EDGY and ACTUALLY EVIL'#just stop #go make your own edgy original world #leave the beloved classics that you clearly do not understand alone #but anyway back to my original point: do not do this #if you think to yourself that children's classics need more sex or edginess they don't!! that's the devil speaking #hope this helps #peter pan

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seventeendeer · 7 months

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adventure time, baby, I'm going to keep it real with you: you had the perfect meta setup (a spinoff of a children's cartoon made for adults who grew up with said cartoon) for a story about two characters desperate to return to simpler times (fionna longing for the subconscious memory of a fantasy land where nothing is complex and she won't have to face the trials of young adulthood in her now-mundane world, simon longing to lose his mind again so he won't have to remember his grief) coming to realize that the "simpler times" they remember were never as straightforward as their idealized memories (fionna realizing that her black-and-white worldview was actually just deeply biased and ultimately harmful, simon realizing that ice king was just as miserable as simon himself and simply lacked the tools to parse his own emotions), the idealized past they want to return to was never real, and in order to move forward, they have to face the painful realities they've been trying to avoid, mature as people, and learn to see beauty and value in their own respective lives, even if they're not the lives they'd hoped for

and then that didn't happen. there was a perfect metaphor for the false allure of nostalgia using THE "whimsical at first glance/shockingly grim under the surface" children's cartoon RIGHT THERE. How Did You Fuck That Up

#deerchatter #adventure time spoilers #i liked this series a lot but i was SO hoping the plot was a setup for a message along the lines of like #hey we know growing up is hard and you may well be tuning back into adventure time to escape the horrors of now being an adult #but this show was never the digestible silly good time you remember and neither was your childhood #don't you remember the pain? you were sad back then too except it was worse because you had no emotional tools to help yourself through it #did things seem simpler? they weren't. you hurt people and made poor choices without realizing it. you were young and didn't know any better #but you know better now. you have a responsibility to grow and learn and make better choices. this is a GOOD thing.#like do you see my vision!!!! the meta layers!!!! the potential for a painful but necessary message about choosing to grow+change+LIVE #taking a kind-but-critical eye to our childhood dreams and learning from them and applying nuance and learning to value complexity #fionna stagnating emotionally in early adulthood because of fear of the future+simon stagnating in his twilight years due to regret #aghhh i wish they'd gone for this SO BADLY it would have been the show of ALL TIME OHH #i did still like the ending a lot but. i was soooo hoping for this

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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months

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I desperately need to be a scene kid for Halloween this year

#idk y but i suddenly realized that im an adult and could potentially buy the goth bullshit at hot topic #that 12yo me desperately desired. and then i was like oof but i like the contrast of color #like i think i really wanted to be somewhere between scene and emo really #but thrn i was looking at scene outfits and im like woof. this is the kinda cringe i love. all thr fucking patterns. all thr colors #i even have thr 1nvader z1m graphic tees in my closet... i think #i just dont kno how tf to do that to my hair and also i dont have actual makeup lol #but i must be a scene kid for Halloween. i want the most ostentatious outfit. oh god im gonna have to go to the mall #i havent been to the mall in ages. i need to go to hot topic and claires. is pacsun still around? do they still sell skinny jeans?#i feel like everythings all bland now in stores. where tf do i go to get early 00s and 2010s clothes #good will maybe??? oh god. its like 3.30am and my hormones r all fucked up so i was experiencing like the type of fear you have when youre #like a little kid in a dark room by yourself. its not fair. when my hormones shift it goes: im so depressed to im full of rage ill kill u #to the world is so fucking beautiful im gonna kill myself. like in a not worrying way idk how else to express the feeling. to the type of #unhinged and undirected fear that belongs to a kid who doesnt kno shit. also lil heart palpitations and sometimes feeling like im gonna die #its bullshit. y does my body hate me? ugh. at least ive got a Halloween plan now #unrelated #oh god. dont let me cut myself bangs. im trying to grow my hair back out lol. im an emo with no bangs

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formosusiniquis · 3 months

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okay but what if I did a vandal rewatch and wrote about them having to deal with the approach of their 30s??

#i have been writing a lot of steve harrington dealing with what it means to be 'an adult'#but now i think sam and peter should get a turn #like what do you do when you accidentally make a career for yourself as an investigative journalist whose primary tool is social media #and your wits and your ability to relate to your generation when your generation is no longer dominating social media #what does it mean when its harder to connect to the tastemakers and the like because theyve left what youre used to and moved somewhere else #adapt or die but youre in the back half of your mid 20s and youve already been dropped by netflix once #do you force yourself to understand the tiktok generation or do you move on to something else #and how do you when you made a name for yourseld at 17 #v different vibes from forced to grow up because you had to fight monsters and now you dont know what it means to be an adult #but either way can you tell im approaching 30 and dont know what to do with the mish-mash of checked and unchecked milestones?

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narutomaki · 6 months

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people will tell me it doesn't matter what people think about me and then turn around and go home/online to the people that love and care about them unconditionally

#bro have you ever even been kicked out of you house at 8. 13. 14. 15. because you either fought back or expressed yourself too openly #and ur mum was just in a bad mood that day? have you never been abandoned on the side of the road half way across town?#have you never had anything on the floor or our of place on your desk or shelf thrown out because it pissed her off?#have you never been ostracized every day at school from KINDERGARDEN TO GRADE 5? have you never had someone you thoight #was a close friend laugh in your face for talking to them on front on their other firneds?#like dude. it matters a lot what other people think about me. that it comes off like i dont is not a fucking compliment for me 😭#UNFORCH. AND I STILL CONSIDER MYSELF LUCKY. :) COULD HABE BEEN WORSE!!!! XOXO #i dont care what people think about something indo until someoen goes wow i love how you do x like no ones looking #and then i will never do x again ever even in the privacy of my own bedroom 2 years removed from my mother being alive.#like. idk man.#i had people that did not like children OR ME ON A PERSONAL LEVEL telling my mother to be nicer to me.#its. idk man idk how to explain that its engrained in my fucking dna and idk hownto escapenit.#sad. oh well #vent #neg #like. dude i have had people drop me for being too interested in their lived and for not being interested enough.#i have in fact been locked out of the house at night b4 without a key and only been let back in bcus the neighbours called the cops. lol.#lmao. lmfao. even. like idk! idk!!#if i was quiet if i was good if i sat and listened to her and asked the right questions and provided myself as the pwrson she wanted #me to be thst day than i didnt get ostrasized! i wish i had had. any adult. growing up. thst i felt unconditional love and safety from #id say thst person was my grandmother. and it was. she just wasnt there for me in practice? idk man. maybe #she just didnt want me in the house w my grandfather. maybe she just didnt want the family stress that would come #from taking me from my mother. but regardless. she died before i turned 16. so. doesnt matterm #death m #abuse m #oh man we are spiralling oopsm

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wild-at-mind · 1 year

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Was talking to my partner last night about that thing my mum used to very well meaningingly do...she knew I had a lot of trouble making friends so whenever she heard about another kid about my age who was having trouble making friends she would try and arrange for us to hang out. I feel like the problem with this strategy is that kids who have trouble making friends are usually very, very awkward, and do not possess to social skills to alleviate the awkwardness of someone else. So you end up with two kids who are both being awkward at the same time and neither is able to help the other feel less awkward. I joked to my partner that you would have to introduce the kid who was not good at making friends to kid who was really amazing at making friends, which obviously in real life is not very workable (the concept of ‘pity friends’ is a not great thing for anyone). My mum is very kind and caring, and I know it must be hard for any caring parent to see your child fail socially over and over and be horribly upset about it. She did what she could. But kids in this position are more likely to stay in any friendships they do make even if those friendships are actually very unhealthy and are harming them. That’s what happened to me, she introduced me to someone when I was 12 who turned out to be very controlling and cut off my ability to make friends with anyone else. I will never know if without this person I might have formed actual friendship connections in my teens. They did a lot of harm to me and it’s really difficult to talk about that because they were my peer and also had been through some horrible things. I just clung on tighter because I saw how the world shat on my friend from a great height, like it does all kids who have experienced traumatic family breakdown. And yet in the end, my presence probably only made things worse. It doesnt do any good to harm yourself to try and save someone else, no matter how much you care about them. I really did care about him and I wanted to help and I couldn’t because the problems were vast and societal. I broke contact with him finally when we were adults, I assume this affected my mental health very much but I don’t know because I have no context for what my adolescent development would have been without him in my life. He used to say that needing people was weak, and so I believed it. (He obviously needed me at more than a few times but that’s neither here nor there.) But in reality, we all need people. We need friends and social connections that give us reciprocity and love. I do have friends now but sometimes I feel like I form connections too strong with some people who aren’t reciprocating. I may have mentioned this on here before but we talk about unrequited romantic feelings but not about onesidedness in platonic feelings, and I wish we did. When I’m in low times there are certain friendships that I mourn (absolutely not the one described above fyi!!) even if it’s been years, or I’m still in them and the other person thinks it’s fine but I feel so lonely for more closeness with them. I’m sure someone would helpfully tell me this is all normal but when you talk to people about this stuff, you can tell they don’t feel anything even slightly similar and are bemused. I don’t know what the solution is except to go on about it in writing so that’s what I do. And I don’t know how to help kids make stronger friendships or help a kid with no self esteem choose between being friendless but sticking up for themselves, or being in a damaging and harmful friendship.

#friendship #growing up #childhood #growing up weird #that's just what i'm calling it lol #i'm feeling a bit depressed and it causes me to write this kind of thing #i do have friendships that have drifted and i'm fine about it btw! It's only with some people #some people who were special to me i guess #actually i met a lot of them when i was starting to escape from my 'friend' discribed above #that can't be a coincidence can it #there's a lot of strong feelings associated with being treated like a person by a peer suddenly #or finding someone who is also weird like my 'friend' was but is also kind!#that's killer i'm gone immediately <3 #i think i may have too much baggage about this for a functioning adult #and possibly making a big deal out of something that i shouldn't if i had real problems #but.............maybe that's the depression talking? i hope so :(#a big thing for me with my 'friend' was that i was the one without problems and he was the only one who did have problems #it took me way too long to realise that i was allowed to feel my own crappy moments without comparing them to someone who suffered far worse #you kind of can't....survive in yourself without having compassion for yourself in your own crappy moments and it was a hard lesson to learn

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