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bomber-grl · 6 months

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General Percy Jackson dating hc⋆°🌊

~ ⋆｡‧𖦹 Percy Jackson x Gn!Reader(no pronouns)

Percy is so sassy

I think we as a fandom have established that, however sometimes you underestimate how far he’ll go.

No matter how long you’ve been dating he’ll still be sassy 😔😭

Of course it’s downgraded though

He chose mercy today

Anyway

Although he can get sassy sometimes, there is without a doubt that he loves you.

If there are 100 people who love you Percy is one of them. 1 person who loves you? Percy is that person

Zero? Percy is dead

He absolutely adores you, even if he can be a big idiot sometimes.

Now, when the two of you got together it was pretty much the same as when you were friends

Just romantic

You’d get reminded of your relationship when he calls you his girlfriend/boyfriend/partner

Especially in front of others

Or when he starts holding your hand and kissing you

It’s definitely a change

But not necessarily a bad one

Hes the type of guy to make being your boyfriend his whole personality

(Not actually but let me explain)

He’ll def wear those shirt with “I love my [insert your preferred title]

And he won’t care who sees it 😭

He’s proud no matter what

And is an absolute menace if anyone says anything about it

Or to you, for that matter

He’s powerful and we all know that

You can obviously defend yourself however sometimes he just can’t hold back

If anything were to ever happen to you

Let’s just say the opposing side will be as if it never existed.

I don’t see Percy as the jealous type ngl

I’ve seen many others say he would be and I think he could be, but only sometimes

He knows you’re just as loyal to him as he is to you

However if he sees anyone flirt and you don’t notice or tell them to back off-

He will for you

He won’t hesitate to slide an arm around your waist and ask what the hell the other person is doing with a raised eyebrow

He sasses the other person so much he leaves no room for argument 😭

Percy trusts with everything he’s got

So if you were to ever betray him he’d be crushed

Especially if you really know him

Just don’t betray him 🤷‍♀️

Percy follows you around all the time when he’s got nothing to do

He’s strong and independent

…wheeennn he’s away from you

He’s always by your side

And he loves to spend time with you too

He can’t say goodbye without hugging or kissing you

That’s a definite quirk of his

He’s technically not supposed to exist but it makes you glad he’s the only demigod child of Poseidon

And the only other person who shares his cabin is Tyson, so that way you two can sleepover and cuddle.

Ofc you guys get to actually do that once Tyson stops talking to you guys 😭

Only when Tyson goes off do you guys have time to chill in his cabin and the sleepovers you have are almost endless

I say almost because you eventually got caught by the harpy’s and luckily Chiron came in time to prevent you guys being ripped to shreds :,)

Before all that happened tho, you and Percy would cuddle and you’d play with Percy’s hair

He LOVES having his hair played with and his scalp massaged

And he accidentally insinuates that he misses that the most out of you getting banned from his cabin

The audacity for him to miss your massages rather than your presence

He let you have his share of desert as an apology for as long as you want 😭😭

You felt guilty so eventually you stopped 😭

If you are a sword fighter like him, you both often spar together.

You hit two birds with one stone

You practice your skills, and get to hang out together

What could be better?

Even then, if you specialize with daggers or a spear then it still works out

Sorry if you’re an archer 😭

Before you’re even introduced to Sally she already loves you!

And vise versa

Percy talks so much about you guys to each other that you practically already met her

And she already knew about you before you guys even started dating 😭

Percy told her (albeit a bit reluctantly) that he had a crush and the rest was history

When you finally meet it’s an automatic click and the both of you hit it off

Honestly Percy’s happy to see two of the most important people in his life getting along.

So, we’re all aware of how much of a menace Percy is, right?

Well he absolutely teases the fuck out of you

If that’s how you’re comfortable with

It’s not bad but it’s definitely silly and makes you smile at his antics, especially when you’re pretending to be mad at him 😭

You’re so weak for him lol

As is he for you

Mans is a simp and a so called “free thinker”

That changes when you step into the room and start talking to him

So after you guys got banned from going into each others cabins for unplanned sleepovers you guys had to make the most of the time you had together during the day

Just imagine an innocent camper walking by and seeing “beat ares, stopped two wars” Percy

The thing is, Percy is absolutely putty in your hands and has his head resting on your lap with your hands in his hair

Some would usually tease but with his reputation nowadays, nobody dares

With the exception of close Ally’s and ofc, Clarisse

It’s little moments that get you guys closer than ever like when there’s campfires and you can just enjoy the moment

Or when you can go into the lake

Which is where you guys had your first kiss

And it was sweet and spontaneous

And then awkward afterwards because of the walk back to your cabins 😭

Even then Percy gave you a quick peck and ran off

Best believe he was kicking his feet once he got back to his cabin 😭

you awoke the next day with being the new hot gossip in camp so that was… interesting

Anyway

I’m aware that I’ve made Percy to be a bit a menace

Although he is exactly that on the regular-

He really does care about you

Sometimes whenever he looks at you he can’t help but think about how lucky he got

He’s glad to have met you and tries his best to let you know at every chance he gets

Even if the things he might say come off as cringe, he means it

Maybe to a less cringey extent tho lolol

Bro can’t help it, he’s a romantic at heart

But only ever for you

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livwritesstuff · 6 months

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i hit 100 followers while i was asleep (absolutely bananas imo but i’m so thrilled y’all are enjoying my steddie dads verse bc i’ve literally never had so much fun writing before) so here's a sneak peek of a wip featuring the Harrington fam

Eddie does not understand sports.

He may be approaching fifty years old and way past his old ways of rejecting every notion that doesn’t perfectly align with his own interests, but even after all these years, the wires in his brain simply cannot wrap themselves around sports no matter how hard he tries.

And he does try because, naturally, he has three daughters, Moe, Robbie, and Hazel, all of whom play sports.

To be clear – his kids can do literally anything they want, bar none.

He’s still in goddamn awe with the whole arrangement that is the life he lives every day – kids and a house and a job he loves and all that with Steve Harrington of all people. There’s no way Eddie would start fucking all that up by projecting his own weird quirks onto his children. He refuses to be the kind of parent that prevents their kids from doing anything just because they don't get it. If the girls want to play sports, they’re gonna play sports. Nothing wrong with that.

Still, sports are one of those things he takes the back seat and lets Steve hold the reins for, especially now that thirteen-year-old Moe is pretty deep into the whole basketball thing.

Steve understands the politics of the game, both on the court — like knowing which refs are gonna be biased towards which team and noting Moe’s play-time each game — and off. He schmoozes the coach, he’s friends with all the parents, all the things Moe, at thirteen, doesn’t even notice and Eddie, while aware of it, doesn’t understand. He still can barely follow the games themselves (and he goes to as many as he can, though he and Steve are outnumbered by one and with the prospect of the girls carting themselves around still a distant fantasy their schedule is insane so he can’t make them all). He does his best to follow his husband’s lead but Steve doesn’t always react to things the way Eddie thinks he will. He doesn’t bat an eye when a kid gets smacked in the face with a ball, nor at the impossibly loud thud when someone hits the deck (look — he gets the floor is hollow, but it is loud). He’s completely unbothered by the fit Moe throws every game whenever she’s inevitably benched for having an attitude with her opponents or her teammates or the coach or the ref or just about anybody who tries to get in her way.

As is what happened at Moe’s game yesterday.

Eddie hadn’t seen it — well, he’d seen it, but seeing something and understanding what he’s actually looking at are two totally different things. From what he gathers, Moe had missed an easy shot and gotten pissed off in her own little way about it, so she’d launched herself at whoever on the opposing team had gotten their hands on the ball after it ricocheted off the backboard. Unfortunately for Moe, the team they were playing had a reputation for being a little too aggressive for a middle school league, so when she’d hit the ground, she hit it hard. Moe had been pulled off the court by her coach (carded, maybe? Eddie still isn’t sure how that works in basketball) and scowled on the bench for the rest of the game.

Steve had tried to reason with her on the drive home (an interesting choice, in Eddie’s opinion).

“Darling,” he’d said, “I totally understand being upset about missing a layup, but I don’t know how to get it through your head that intentionally fouling someone isn’t the way to go about resolving that emotion. I love you and I support you, but I’m getting tired of watching you play for three minutes and then sit on the bench for the rest of the game.”

“Talk to the coach then,” Moe had grumbled.

“About what?” Steve exclaimed, “Moe — you do it on purpose!”

The conversation had ended not long later because Moe decided to give them both the silent treatment (a clear sign that she knew she was in the wrong even if she didn’t want to admit it) and Eddie thought that was the end of it (for that game, at least). Then, Moe threw them a curveball by spending most of that evening in the bathroom throwing up, at which point she admitted that her head had caught more of that fall during her basketball game than she’d originally let on.

Steve doesn’t mess around with head injuries (for obvious reasons), so the next morning he calls Moe out of school and brings her to their pediatrician to get checked out.

A couple hours after Robbie and Hazel boarded the school bus bound for their elementary school, Steve and Moe return home.

“So what's the verdict?” Ed asks as they enter the kitchen.

“She's concussed,” Steve announces.

“Like father, like daughter.”

“No sports, no bright lights, no reading, no school, no phone,” Steve says pointedly, and Moe only scowls harder. She’d been using the incident as a leveraging tactic in her crusade to get a phone. Not being able to play sports was a no-brainer; they’d all seen that one coming, so even as recently as this morning, she’d been claiming that she’ll “die of boredom without a phone,” while she recovers.

Even as recently as this morning, she’d been largely unsuccessful.

“Thirteen-year-old children do not need phones,” Steve had told her, “If someone wants to talk to you, they can call the house, and if it's urgent enough that it needs to be right now, you can get walkie talkies.”

“No one uses walkie talkies.”

“Your dad and I used walkie talkies all the time.”

“Uh, pretty sure it was just the one time, Steve,” Eddie pointed out.

“Yeah! And it worked out great!”

CONTINUE ON AO3

#did it work out great? or is steve's memory of 1986 a little fuzzy in 2014?#eddie is trying his best #basketball is very hard to follow if you don't know the game #as I have learned :/#steddie #liv’s steddie dads verse #steddie dads #steve harrington #eddie munson

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csuitebitches · 1 year

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Personal growth truly isn’t as complicated as some of you make it seem.

If I could write a letter to my 18 year old self…..

“You don’t need to purchase fancy guides or watch hours and hours of YouTube videos. You don’t need to have 13 degrees in psychology in order to understand yourself.

The main reasons why one fails at “levelling up” are quite simple.

Lack of discipline.

Lack of accountability.

Not being able to manage time.

Not being able to say no to things in order to prioritise yourself.

Doing something you know you shouldn’t be doing, and yet, you do it anyway because FOMO.

How do you prevent the above from happening?

You have to be hard on yourself and listen to your rational instinct. When your intellectual side tells you that its best not to engage in a certain thing or not to be lazy about doing something, listen to that side. People always seem to know better but choose the easier path of not doing anything.

It’s your decision whether you want to look back at life and get upset with yourself for not having the willpower to do yourself justice. Or, you look back at yourself and thank your stars that you had the sense to start early.

Even if you don’t end up getting 100% of what you visualised, at least you’ll respect yourself for sticking to your guns and doing what was best for you and your life.

It’s not about ego. It’s not about hustle culture. It’s about ending this cycle of misery and procrastination and constant justification of your mindlessly stupid actions.

It’s time for you to grow up and put in the goddamn effort, because no one else will. You can’t demand the best of the best when you have nothing to bring to the table.

Stop wasting your time with idiots who don’t share the same values as you. Start reading more again. You’re not going to marry that guy you’re with and you know damn well that you’re going to leave him anyway - so just do it already. Stop the vicious cycle of breaking up and getting back.

I’m glad you enrolled in that university, even if you were a little nervous to leave home. It’s going to change you as a person. Absorb those experiences and realise that the world is not black and white.

There’s much to learn from and you’re wasting your time watching brain-dead influencers on YouTube and instagram. Minimise your social media footprint. Go back to doing the things you loved, even if you feel that the whole world mocks you for it. They don’t. Nobody cares.”

#c suite #powerful woman #ceo aesthetic #personal growth #that girl #productivity #strong women #getting your life together #feminine energy #balance #letter to myself #open letter #younger self #advice

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mochiimadness · 4 months

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hi! i really like your works, so i'd like to request a ( sort of angsty ) scenario where the rottmnt boys react to their s/o losing their memories after getting injured from a bad guy fight, so they completely forget who the boys are

Hello! I want to preface this by saying: this is mostly from their POV, so their thoughts are very much self-blaming, even if what they think is not at all the case!

Slightly angsty, filled with self blame and anxiety.

Rottmnt x S/O who loses their memories after a fight

Neon Leon

Leo feels the weight of this horrible situation crush him like a fallen building.

If only he had just been a little faster- or planned ahead better

Maybe if he had been more serious about his s/o and their safety this never would have happened.

He’s in shock at first when you flinch away from him

Whether or not you were genuinely scared or just shocked at seeing a mutant ninja turtle-

It hurts him all the same because of one thing

The genuine confusion on your face-

No trace of recognition in your gaze

He shuts down for a few moments as his brothers try to figure out what they can do to help

The ringing in his ears grow loud until the high pitch whine is all he can hear

He can’t even see you nor his family in front of him anymore- everything far too blurry

Just vague shapes and blobs of color…

Distorted and unrecognizable

Is that how his s/o saw him??

All he can think is;

He should have gotten to you quicker

He couldn’t even portal to you because he didn’t know where you were.

It’s his fault that you don’t remember him,

The life you two have life together,

All the laughter you shared,

Just gone… like it never existed…

…

He should’ve been better.

Don Tron

Donnie’s already trying to scan his s/o and check for any injuries the second he finds them

What could’ve caused their condition??

Blunt force trauma to the head?

Mystical memory wipe??

What’s ever caused it, he’s going to find it

And he will not rest until he can reverse this.

Absolutely could not handle your reaction to him-

Not knowing who he is,

Not knowing all the wonderful progress you two made together,

Helping him with his experiments and machinery,

Getting comfortable with prolonged touch,

The late night rambles-

Immediately started murmuring the statistics of regaining your memory under his breath

You had to get their memory back- you absolutely had to.

Statistics be damned- he’s making sure it’s a 100% chance.

There’s anxiety gnawing away at him slowly from the inside,

Creeping and burning like static in his bones.

Not even the numerous photos he has of the both of you are helping- maybe it’s just too soon

You did just wake up after all… but why-

Why couldn’t he have prevented this?

All of his fail safes,

The numerous emergency alert devices he gave you,

He weapon he had specifically designed to be easy to conceal and have on you at all times,

Even his GPS tracker-

None of them had worked to keep you safe…

He failed, and this was worse than any experiment exploding in his face.

He failed you and now you have no idea about just how close you two actually are

…

He will fix this- there’s no room for error this time.

Mystic Mike

Mikey’s on the verge of waking up the person who was cruel enough to harm you this badly- just so he could beat them up again.

They hurt you- hurt you so bad you can’t even remember his name

Let alone everything you two have been through together

Mikey feels rage

At the situation,

At the villains who did this,

And at himself-

Why hadn’t he been strong enough to stop this?

He can throw buses, skyscrapers even,

He can maneuver his way around places with ease with his razzmatazz mastery

But what was all that strength and skill for if none of it could help you?

He’s frustrated enough to cry

But he’s also the quickest to compose himself

Several deep breaths in and out before he's able to pull himself together enough to crouch down beside his beloved s/o

Gently reassures you that he means no harm,

That you were in a bad fight and letting you slowly collect yourself.

He also uses photos- but rather than doing this to specifically try to jog his s/o's memories,

It's more to show them that they actually do know him-

Trying to get your memories back can wait for later,

His main focus is making sure his s/o is calm and comfortable around him- at least enough to trust that he won't harm them.

Once you feel that they can trust him- even if only a little bit,

He'll take you home and make sure you're alright physically.

Later on, he sneaks off quietly to the gym area

Demolishes the punching bag they had-

All of his worries and frustrations are taken out with every punch

Would you ever remember him?

If you never regained your memories, is there any chance you two would ever have the relationship you once had again??

They're going to need more punching bags,

All the extra ones are destroyed too.

His family is worried, but Mikey is only focused on two things;

Helping you remember him and getting revenge for you.

He will make sure this won't ever happen again.

Big Red

What do you mean you don't remember him??

You're his s/o!

His partner!

Surely you must be playing a prank or something-

He is in complete denial at first,

Then, as his family explains that no-

You aren't joking,

You genuinely don't remember him,

His denial shatters into gut wrenching dispair.

How did this happen-

Why did this happen?!

...

This was all his fault.

Why wasn't he there for you when you needed him??

He's suppose to be able to protect those who he cares about

Especially his beloved s/o

Yet he failed

He wasn't there,

He wasn't able to help you, to stop you from ever being hurt this badly

And now you can’t remember a single thing about him, your relationship together, nothing.

RAPH is still able to move and check on you-

Though, it’s more like hovering worriedly while Donnie and Leo do their best to patch you up

He is watching like a hawk, making sure that you’re in no additional discomfort or pain

Once you’re clear enough to be able to go home though

Raph is stressing

If you leave now you could get hurt again!

But he doesn’t want to scare you off by being too overbearing

Especially if he wants any chance of you remembering him-

He can’t cause you to feel uncomfortable around him- or worse

Frightened.

He’s able to stop his anxiety fueled spiral before it consumes him

Focusing on making you’re you get home safely

Even if you decline having him walk with you-

He’ll make sure to follow stealthily from a distance

Once he’s certain you’re absolutely safe and sound

He’s pacing around the lair and pulling at his mask

What if you don’t remember him?

Donnie said you likely just had “mild amnesia” but what if it was worse?!

There’s a chance you’ll never be able to remember him-

And it’s all his fault…

He couldn’t protect you

It all boils down to one simple fact ringing in his head:

He wasn’t there

…

He’ll make sure he’s always there

He will be there for you.

Hello, I hope you enjoyed

Also for those who may not have watched ROTTMNT- Mikey is shown to be a little angry ball of revenge at times, while Raph is shown to be full of anxiety and mother-henning™️

So they may seem a little ooc compared to other versions of them!

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writerblue275 · 2 months

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I read Heartsteel!Sett becoming a dad and AUUUUUH MY HEART I LOVED IT 😭❤️😭❤️

and now I gotta predictably ask about Heartsteel!Kayn becoming a dad cuz I’m wEAK HFJFJFHHF

Mystic!! Hello!!! I’m so glad you enjoyed my Heartsteel!Sett dad headcanon! But ooooh Heartsteel’s resident bad boy becoming a dad? I love it. Let’s gooooooo! (Also listen I totally get it. I’m WEAK for Kayn too he's just such a menace to my sanity I swear to god.😭)

Heartsteel!Kayn becoming a dad

Previous members: Sett

Genre: Headcanon

Type: FLUFF (with slight frank discussion of unprotected sex and v slight suggestive undertones at one point.)

Gender: Not necessarily specified but mention of carrying a pregnancy and such (though sex does not equal gender as we all know).

TW: Swearing. Discussion of risks of unprotected sex. Discussion of pregnancy things and labor.

Extra context: In this instance we’re assuming a well-settled relationship. Like cohabitation and shit.

So the start of this really depends on on an important factor: Is the baby planned? Because while I think Kayn’s course of action and thoughts would eventually line up on the same path regardless if the baby is planned or not, his initial reaction I could see being SUPER different. In this scenario, let’s say the baby isn’t planned:

Now of course Kayn knew there was a risk. Both of you did. No matter how prepared and careful both of you were before/while/after having sex, nothing is truly 100% effective at preventing a pregnancy besides abstinence. And let’s be so for real, abstinence and Kayn are like oil and water. Also it’s not like you didn’t want him. You certainly enjoyed yourself as much as he did.

And sure he’d thought a little bit about an accidental baby.

But not MUCH. And he certainly didn’t expect it to actually happen.

So when you tell him the news and show him the positive pregnancy test, it’s almost like he’s hit by lighting.

Kayn freezes, his wide eyes glued to the positive pregnancy test in your hand. “P-pregnant? Holy shit, (Y/N), you’re pregnant?

You sigh and nod. “Y-yeah…and I-I don’t know what to do…I don’t know what you want to do. I kn-know this isn’t r-really part of our p-plans right n-now. I-I wasn’t positive that’s what was g-going on until I took the s-second test today...” your voice fades off and your bottom lip wobbles ever so slightly.

The change in your voice has him looking back at your face, and seeing the distress in your eyes, Kayn quickly, but gently, reaches out and pulls you to him, wrapping you in a tight hug. He realizes this is as much of a shock to you as it is to him.

As you burrow against his shoulder and let out a sniffle, he kisses the top of your head. “Hey…hey, it’s okay, angel,” he murmurs. “Please don’t cry…please don’t cry, baby…I’m just surprised, that’s all. Yes this isn’t what we planned for right now, but I guess when the hell does life ever go according to plan?”

“Y-you’re not upset? Or mad?” your voice trembles.

Kayn gently makes you look at him, pecking your lips softly. “Baby, why would I be upset or mad? It’s not like you’re at fault for anything. I was just as much involved in this. Besides, we talked about the possibility of having kids in the future. And while we didn’t expect this part of our future to come so soon, what I know is you’re the person I want to have my future with. I love you. You make me the best version of myself and I can’t see my future with anyone else but you. If you want to have this baby, then I’ll be right next to you the entire way, helping you kick pregnancy’s ass and we’ll raise the coolest and most badass kid anyone has ever met.”

You let out a little laugh at that and wipe your eyes.

He grins at your reaction. “So don’t worry about what I want. Because all I want is for you to be happy, (Y/N). Whatever you want to do, I love you and I’m with you all the way.” He emphasizes his point with a kiss to your forehead.

Kayn’s reaction was better than you could have ever imagined. And you know he means everything he said, so…you and him decide to become parents.

And while of course becoming a father meant some things had to change, it wasn’t as big of a behavior shift as one might think.

He’d already given up drinking/substances (sober!Kayn headcanon returns!) and he wasn’t as much of a party animal as he used to be before he met and fell in love with you. He wasn’t kidding when he said you bring out the best version of himself.

Can you imagine Kayn telling the rest of Heartsteel the news? (I think he’d tell them early on since he’d want to be able to go to your appointments and such.) Their mix of shock and glee.

Ezreal: *Nearly levitating in excitement* “No fucking way!!! Wait can I be the godfather??? I call dibs on being the godfather!!”

Everyone else: *Jaws dropped, eyes wide, and staring at Kayn. Yone’s second cold brew of the day is now splattered on the floor.* (😂)

Kayn: *frowns* “What?? Turns out the idea of being a dad actually sounds pretty cool...”

*Raucous cheering commences and Kayn becomes the bottom of a dog pile of happy band mates/friends*

And trust, he’s keeping all of Heartsteel updated on how you’re doing. They are now very used to Kayn rambling on and on about your last appointment, how the nursery is going, how big the baby is this week, etc…

You might not expect it, but he’s super involved in your appointments, asking your OBGYN all sorts of questions. He’s genuinely curious and he wants to make sure he learns and understands as much as possible.

He will take off as much time as necessary to take you to appointments and Lamaze classes. Thankfully the rest of Heartsteel understands and they are cool with it.

And when Kayn sees the tiny blob at your first ultrasound, you notice him discreetly clear his throat as he hugs you tightly.

You quickly realize this kid has their father already wrapped around their little finger…and their little finger isn’t even developed yet!

Surprisingly excellent at helping you through bouts of morning sickness. He’s happy to hold back your hair if need be, and he’ll always help you straighten/freshen up once you’re through a spell.

Wasn’t prepared for the hormonal mood swings at first, tbh. The first time you burst into tears over a cute little kitten video, Kayn was genuinely a little alarmed. But he quickly realized what was going on.

Your crazy cravings don’t phase him. He’s always down to run out and grab you whatever food you want.

And not just food either. He’s ready to run out and grab any kind of supplies for you (though he very jokingly complains about it. But he makes it very clear he’s just kidding and he doesn’t actually mind).

And despite all the physical changes to your body, Kayn makes it clear he still finds you attractive. He makes that VERY clear. 😉

Being with you already brought his soft side out. That just increases exponentially while you’re pregnant. Kayn absolutely loves to play the guitar for you and the baby. He’ll play lullabies while you two are unwinding from the day. (If you sing, sing along with him because oh my god it makes him so happy when you do. He’d love to pass on a love of music to this baby early.)

And when he’s not playing guitar, he’s reading through the absolute mountain of parenting books he bought/borrowed from the library.

He’s trying to be as prepared as humanly possible. But there’s also an underlying anxiety to his obsessive reading. The last thing he wants is to let you or the baby down. Be sure to reassure him you believe he’ll be a good dad.

(In the Heartsteel universe we’re not exactly told what Zed is to Heartsteel!Kayn, but considering his role and the relationship between the two in base Runeterra lore, I’m imagining Zed as Kayn’s adoptive father.)

He’s calling Zed often and asking him for advice. And Zed is ready to assist you if Kayn is busy with Heartsteel or out of town for something. Just text him.

Kayn’s super eager to find out the sex of the baby. One of the first questions he asked the OBGYN was “How long until we know whether it’s a boy or girl?”

He doesn’t have a preference one way or the other, he just wants to know. The baby will be so loved regardless.

So once the two of you are at the 20-week ultrasound appointment, he’s so excited to finally get an answer.

And when the OBGYN reveals the baby is a girl? Holy shit Kayn’s so thrilled. He’s so happy he starts crying and laughing as he hugs you. (Tough bad boy becoming the biggest girl dad oh my GODDDDDDD 😭.)

And now that he knows the sex of the baby, this man is going to go OFF when it comes to buying things for her.

He found a black onesie with a pink skull and crossbones (with a bow) that says “Punk Rock Girl.” He bought four.

And once it’s time for the baby to come? Kayn is incredible. There’s a small wave of panic at the beginning because “holy fuck oh my god it’s actually fucking happening.” But he quickly realizes that panicking won’t help shit in this scenario. So he takes you to the pre-packed car (that he did himself and triple checked), takes a deep breath, and gets you to the hospital.

Kayn is your biggest advocate in the hospital. He’s making sure you are being listened to when it comes to how you’re feeling and what you want.

He’s encouraging you the whole way. Leading you through your Lamaze techniques, telling you to squeeze his hand as hard as you need to, and encouraging you to swear as much as you need to.

And even when you start cursing him out from pain for being “a god damn sexy and charismatic jackass and doing this to me, putting me in this position,” he keeps his cool, instead apologizing to you and telling you he’s right here and that he loves you.

Once it’s time for you to push, Kayn is right next to you, wiping your forehead, making sure you’re taking deep breaths, and counting you into pushes.

“Look at me, (Y/N). Eyes on me.” Kayn’s voice is gentle but urgent as he gently puts his finger on your chin and turns your head towards him. “That’s it, beautiful. Holy shit, you’re doing so well. I love you so much and I’m so fucking proud of you. Like doc said, one more big push and she’ll be out. Deep breath. I’ll count down from three and when I say “push” you give it all you got, okay? Ready? Alright angel, let’s meet our little girl. Breathe in....and 3…..2…..1…..push!”

And you do it. You give one final push and out she comes, squalling loudly, covered in vernix (newborn goop).

And Kayn finally lets all his emotions go, hugging you tightly and nuzzling your neck as he starts to tear up.

His voice is muffled against your neck. “I’m so fucking proud of you, (Y/N). She’s here….our daughter is here.” He lets out a happy laugh and kisses your forehead, gently wiping away your tears. “You alright, Angel? Can I get you anything?”

You hug him tightly, exhausted but happy, shaking your head. "Not besides babygirl. How is she?”

He nods. "They’re getting her cleaned off. (Y/N), she is perfect. Absolutely perfect. Just like you.”

The L&D nurse walks over. “Dad? Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?”

Kayn’s face lights up and he smiles at you. “Hell yeah…”

The sight of your partner carefully cutting your daughter’s umbilical cord is extremely sweet. He's being so careful, almost as if he's afraid he'll accidentally hurt her.

And as he looks down at her tiny form, he swears to himself right then and there, he's not letting anyone or anything harm her.

And once they hand her to you and you gently tease him as his happy tears fall, he just looks up at you with a grin, not even trying to play his tears off as "dust in my eyes" like he sometimes does.

You can’t help but laugh as he comments on her lung capacity and how she’s already ready to be a singer.

"She's what, not even ten minutes old and she already beats Ezreal's lung capacity and his higher range! He's gonna be so fucking jealous!"

(A/N: Ok so I know I stopped with Sett’s at the hospital right after labor, but I have an extra tidbit for Kayn’s and I NEED to write it down.)

You know how when athletes/musicians have babies/little kids, the other parent might bring them to cheer on the famous parent but they cover their ears with really strong noise-cancelling headphones to protect their ears/hearing?

Imagine doing that for Kayn at Heartsteel shows!!! Dressing up baby girl in a small version of his paranoia jacket with custom Kayn-designed stitching on the back (courtesy of Sett).

And imagine if Kayn got custom ear protection for her. And on each earphone is a print of his Rhaast mask, matching the custom necklace he bought you early on in your relationship. “So everyone knows who's with me.”

Ah! That would be so fucking cool. And when he sees the two of you the first time you bring her, oh my god, his heart is ready to burst. Especially when you blow him a kiss and wave one of her little hands at him. Kayn can’t help but grin like an absolutely besotted idiot for a second. Honestly you two being at his shows to cheer him on is his favorite thing. It reminds him why he does what he does. For his little family.

Who knew this bad boy could turn into such a family man? 🥹

Ahhhh thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed my latest contribution to Dad!Heartsteel headcanons!! I was so excited to get this request!! 2/6 done. Let me know which Heartsteel member should become a dad next! 💙

#heartsteel #heartsteel kayn #kayn x reader #heartsteel headcanons #headcanon #kayn fluff #kayn headcanons #requested #league of legends

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damiansgoodgirll · 10 months

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Can you please write jey x jimmy x reader with what happened at summerslam? like reader is their younger sister and she was in the backstage watching jey fighting roman and watched jimmy turning his back on jey and then she confronts jimmy about it but in the end she sticks with jey please?

the usos x sister reader / rhea ripley x best friend reader

reader being dramatic is my mood

by his side

you were mad because you had no matches at summerslam. you and liv morgan were tag team champions and you were 100% you were going to defend your titles that night but to your surprise you weren’t booked for the night and that left you completely shocked.

rhea wasn’t going to defend her title either and to say that she was mad was almost like a compliment, no, she was furious. she was the woman’s champion, she had to defend her title but she wasn’t booked either and that left her shocked as you and liv were.

so you were all watching the show from backstage.

you had to be there, knowing that you’re older brother jey was going to face roman and you wanted to show him your support. you couldn’t wait for roman reign’s to end and you knew your brother had the possibility to make that happen.

you trained with him and you watched him train for the last month, and you knew he was more than ready to face roman.

you knew that your other brother solo was going to interfere and jey saw that possibility coming too, but he was ready to face solo in case he would attack him.

what you didn’t see coming was jimmy turning on your brother.

the twins, your favorite brothers splitting was the last thing you needed to see that night.

you were ready to go out there and fight jimmy, all you were seeing was black but rhea and liv had to hold you, knowing that you probably were going to cause a riot.

“you can’t go out there…” rhea whispered into your ear as she grabbed your wrist.

even if she was a heel and you and live were supposed to hate her, she was your best friend, and she knew that she had to stop you before you did something stupid.

“rhea this wasn’t supposed to happen!” you tried to free yourself from her grip but she was ten times stronger and in that moment you weren’t thinking straight.

“i know but please calm down…y/n, calm down” she held you tighter as you kept your eyes fixed on the screen.

not only jey was facing roman. he was facing solo and jimmy.

you were so mad at jimmy for doing that.

“rhea let me go…please…” you weren’t used to cry in front of other people but your brothers were involved.

“i can’t…you need to calm down, i can’t let you go outside, the production will stop you in any way if i let you go”

“i don’t care! i need to go out there and help jey!” you kept screaming, tears running down your cheecks.

rhea and liv never saw you like this. you were usually the happy and bubbly one in the group so seeing you crying like that was new for them.

“please calm down sweetie…” liv said while she guided you to the black leather couch that was in rhea’s changing room.

as you sat there watching the match, you felt unease, you almost felt sick and you couldn’t wait for the match to be over so you could go and comfort jey.

in your mind he was alone now. you were the only one left for him.

roman left. solo left, and now jimmy too.

you were living the rise and fall of your own family and what pained you the most was the fact that you couldn’t do anything to prevent that.

you left a soft breath when you saw the match ended. roman won but that was his plan from the beginning.

as you left the changing room, waiting for jey to come backstage, you saw jimmy walking right in front of you.

“jimmy!” you screamed his name and that made a few head to turn. rhea was still behind you, preventing you from attacking your own brother. jimmy ignored you but his heart broke a little when he saw the disappointment on your face “jimmy! what the fuck was that?” you kept screaming but he was ignoring you “jimmy, don’t fucking ignore me, come back here!” you started following him but rhea was like a magnet and she was blocking you from going after your bother “rhea let me go…”

“i’m not doing that…you’re not thinking straight right now”

“of course i’m not! haven’t you seen what the fuck just happened? that’s my family rhea and they’re fucking destroying each others!”

“i get it, i truly get it y/n, but you have to let things calm by themselves…you’re gonna cause more drama if you go after jimmy right now…” rhea explained to you and for a few seconds you saw her point of you but you were just so mad you couldn’t drop it.

“fine…” you said but you were only waiting for jey to come backstage.

no matter how sad or mad jey was, you knew that he would have never ignored you.

so you patiently waited for him and when you saw him, your heart broke completely. you never saw him so defeated.

“jey…” you went to hug him and he sadly smiled at you, a little relieved that you were there for him “i don’t know what has gotten into jimmy…i’m so sorry jey”

“you have nothing to apologise y/n…” he said, stroking a little your hair.

“he shouldn’t have done that…i just - i’m so mad jey! everything you’ve worked for, everything you trained for and just -just for jimmy to ruin it…”

“i wished i made everyone proud…i wish…man, i just wanted to win this, for you, for jimmy too, for my kids and the fans who expected this…but i lost…” he said, losing himself in your arms again.

the bond that the two of you shared was incredible. you were the little of the family and everyone felt super protective over you but jey always cared a little more, he was the one who swore that would never leave you, he was the one by your side during your first breakup and he was the one to comfort you everytime you felt you weren’t enough, so it was your time to stand by his side and showing him that you cared.

“you made me so proud jey…your family is proud of you too, never doubt that. i’m gonna stick by your side, always. don’forget that” you whispered, your lips turning into a soft smile.

he thanked you.

you could tell he was still heartbroken about what happened and that he needed time to process the event of the night but no matter what he knew that he could always count on you.

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devildomwriter · 7 months

Text

Horror Movie Marathon: They React to The Strangers

Lucifer

• He praises the tension set up wordlessly at the beginning of the movie. You can tell something happened before it’s more strongly implied she denied a proposal.

• He grins at the first knock assuming things will become more intense and he is 100% right. The tension increases and he enjoys watching the spiral of the two characters and the paranoia build.

• He likes how the camera angles change to feel like you’re the stranger in the home.

• He doesn’t jump scared but laughs imagining how scared Mammon would’ve been. He’s hoping you’ll get jump scared and cling to him more.

• As soon as they try running to the car he knows it’s about to get intense and sets the popcorn down to pay closer attention.

• He applauds the writing and the choice not to show the strangers’ faces even when they remove the masks.

• He believes the ending could’ve done without the jump scare as he thinks both characters should be explicitly dead after all the tension built up to the killing.

Mammon

• He hates feeling the awkwardness in the beginning. Feels bad for the guy. Imagine learning the person you want to spend your life with, isn’t ready to spend it with you. That scares him for other reasons.

• The first knock on the door and he’s already scared but he thinks it’s just a random person at the wrong home and he’s dead wrong about it.

• When the person comes back and he sees the scary mask he freaks out. He freaks out even more when he sees the man is now somehow in the home and then the woman’s phone disappears.

• He’s just as paranoid as the characters in the movie.

• He assumes things will be fine when the man grabs a gun but he was wrong and it somehow continues to get worse and he’s holding you tighter every time and lying about not being scared.

• He’s fucking screaming when they get into the home and he has his eyes covered as they’re stabbed to death.

• The Strangers explanation for killing them is even worse and he keeps texting Lucifer to make sure the door is locked for weeks to come.

Leviathan

• He’s thankful for the first knock because it interrupts a sex scene and he was not prepared to watch that with you right next to him.

• He enjoys the intense build-up and paranoia and compliments the camera work and the angle choices for building tension.

• He feels really bad for the people not just because someone is trying to kill them but because people suck and their safe space has been invaded.

• He’s actually shaken when his best friend is mistakenly shot. He feels bad for the guy and the friend. He can’t imagine what he’d do if he accidentally hurt you.

• He’s trying to calm his nerves by eating lots of popcorn but it’s not working because it goes flying when the break-in occurs

• He critiques all their choices and tells you the best way to defend your fort. He was an admiral in the Celestial Realm and is now one in hell so he knows what he’s talking about.

• He approves of how brutal they are with the death, they didn’t cut corners. He did not appreciate the jump scare at the end.

Satan

• He’s intrigued as soon as it begins, he appreciates showing not telling in movies

• He’s theorizing all the different ways things might happen and begins wondering if the camera angle really does mean someone is watching from behind.

• When things start to go missing, his detective skills kick in and he tells you how they could’ve snuck around

• Things quickly escalate after the next few knocks and he tells you all the ways you could prevent this in the future and then realizes the House of Lamentation doesn’t have those methods and is lost in thought

• He thinks the acting is really well done and sees the movie more as a critic than as an audience member.

• Hearing the girl say “Next time it’ll be easier” has him pretty excited for potential sequels and hooks him even more at how little the strangers care about what they’ve done

Asmodeus

• He’s disappointed the sex scene got interrupted because he knows it’s just downhill after that first knock on the door.

• The masks freak him out. How ugly does someone have to be to wear a weird mask?

• He’s mad the guy doesn’t believe his girlfriend at first because the knocks were so loud and why would she make that up?

• Finally the masks come off but their “ugly faces” aren’t even shown and he feels like that’s even worse because it could be anyone but he’s distracted from this thought when they are stabbed and he lets out a high-pitched shriek.

• Thinks that was an awful ordeal but the strangers saying there will be a next time makes it worse. The little boys they passed by didn’t even realize these were the culprits so they’ll just get away. He’s super mad about it.

• He’s super popular and doesn’t mind attention but the movie made him secure his bedroom a bit more—from everyone but you

Beelzebub

• Like whenever he sits down for a movie he’s just eating the popcorn and other food assortments. He’s loud enough that subtitles are needed until the louder parts.

• He doesn’t really get the first part of the movie until it’s spelled out for him and then he feels bad for the guy.

• Now he’s just kinda sad until the knock happens and he drops some popcorn. He’s not scared it just surprised him.

• He is visibly anxious on behalf of the couple as the film progresses. He shakes his head whenever they leave the house and he’s pretty upset when the people successfully break in.

• He’s as close to you as he can be because he can’t imagine if you were in a home invasion like that.

• He can’t believe how callously the strangers behave and that they might do it again and no one even knows who they are.

• At first he’s worried the little boys would be killed too but is relieved they are okay.

• He enjoys the movie but doesn’t get the cinematic talent

Belphegor

• He’s all on board for this movie because it means he can snuggle you.

• Snuggling is a tad awkward in the first scene so no one says a word which is why he nearly falls asleep but the knock wakes him with a startle as much as the main characters

• He calls them stupid for almost every decision they make, even the smart ones.

• “Dumbass…” he says when the man accidentally kills his best friend. “Look before you shoot.” Which is valid but the guy was paranoid so it’s understandable.

• He can’t believe after the disaster of trying to get to the car that they’d run outside toward a barn and forest, they’re just asking to be killed.

• He doesn’t react to their deaths, he saw it coming a mile away.

• He enjoys the tension of the movie and the interesting narrative but it’s not one he’s dying to rewatch.

Solomon

• He loves horror movies so he’s excited to watch. Normally he’s down for more gore but he’s okay with the slower opening as long as it adds to the story and it does.

• He laughs at the masks and now he sort of wants one but only because he knows Mammon watched the movie too and he’d love to scare him a bit.

• He’s always asking for your opinion on what they do next and why you think that is as if he’s giving you a psychology quiz.

• He also asks you what spells you’d use to defend against an unknown intruder but eventually all the questions stop when it gets to the climax and he pays much closer attention.

• He enjoys the gore but he especially enjoys the most unforgettable line “Because you were home”

• He tells you not to worry as he’s far stronger than any intruder might be and you’re safe with him.

Simeon

• Not a fan of horror he’s trusting your judgment on the movie and so far it’s okay. He’s a little uncomfortable with the almost-sex scene but thankfully it’s interrupted.

• He thinks it’s just a lost stranger but nope, it’s one of THE strangers and she keeps coming back. He finally realizes she’s a bad guy, and so is the other one with the mask.

• He thinks it’s a great idea to get to the car and leave but things don’t work out that way.

• “Oh dear…” he says several times as things keep getting worse.

• He gasps when the friend is accidentally killed and wonders why you wanted to watch such a tragic movie.

• He’s still under the assumption there will be justice so when the couple is stabbed to death he’s in shock. He’s in more shock when the strangers leave like nothing happened and plan to do so again.

• They then have the nerve to say they only sin sometimes. That gets to Simeon and he wants them to pay but the movie ends and he’s surprised you’d watch something this bleak.

• He kind of wants to watch the sequel, maybe this time things will go better.

Raphael

• Not a movie he’d watch unless it was suggested but he’ll watch it. He always pays very close attention to detail.

• He immediately deduces the awkward situation with the couple and why it’ll play a party in the movie.

• When the camera angle changes he tries to figure out where the strangers could be hiding in the house and how they got in without anyone noticing

• He knows why the girl knocks too, he’s seen all kinds of weird things while working down in the human world.

• When they use a shotgun he kindly informs you a spear would be more efficient and why…in detail.

• He’s worried for the two boys handing out fliers and mad when the woman says she only sins sometimes right after mentioning they’d do it again

• He’s a little surprised by the jump scare at the end but just shakes his head in response.

• He enjoyed the movie but you have to endure a safety seminar afterwards.

Thirteen

• She’s just hoping for some prank ideas when she sat down to watch a home invasion movie, she didn’t think it was gonna be super serious but the first few minutes dampened the mood.

• She laughs when the tension builds and points out things you wouldn’t have noticed. She makes the connections very quickly about everything that’s been changed and misplaced

• Keeps telling them to grab the gun and when they actually do she knows it’s not gonna work or it wouldn’t be in the movie.

• She likes the idea of the anonymity of the Strangers and keeps telling them they had a good idea when they find another way to scare the couple

• She was hoping they wouldn’t be killed like that but figured it was coming. She thought it was very creative to just be stabbed but “Oh well”

• Thinks the strangers’ response to breaking in was spooky

Mephistopheles

• He thinks the directing was good and likes how solemn the atmosphere feels before the horror has even begun

• He thought the first knock would begin things and shook his head when they answered the door. It threw him off a little but then he saw the man inside and was startled though he denies it.

• Recommends they not leave in the car and laughs triumphantly that he was correct in assuming it’d go horribly

• He’s shocked at the brutality of the strangers and is slightly disappointed he didn’t get to see their faces but appreciates the “directing of it all”

• He believes their response “because you were home” hits the point of the movie Home even more about senseless violence and acting on opportunity

• Laughs that the little religious boy got scared by a dread woman

Barbatos

• He correctly guesses things that are going to happen long before they do starting with the phone call to the best friend and it’s amazing how detailed about it he can go without using his powers.

• He feels awkward just watching the couple in the home prepared for a more festive occasion when it is not

• He likes that the angle of the cameras changed to make it look like you are the one inside the house and he tries to stop himself from guessing more things and spoiling it for you by eating more popcorn.

• nothing startled or scared him but he says “oh my” a lot.

• He thinks the shotgun is a great solution but already guessed how that would go wrong so he does not react other than shaking his head when the friend is mistakenly killed

• He thinks the deaths could’ve been more brutal considering it’s a horror movie but the responses given by the stranger make up for it as they’re rather chilling

Diavolo

• He immediately feels bad for the relationship turmoil the couple is going through before anything bad even begins to happen

• He knew the first girl at the door was going to be trouble.

• When the camera angels change and appear behind the characters as if following him he’s already on the edge of his seat

• The loud knocks surprise him each time and he squeezes your hand a little harder

• He knew they wouldn’t escape and when the gun went off he just knew it was going to be the friend instead. He shakes his head, he couldn’t imagine what he’d do in that position

• He expected their deaths but he’s nonetheless taken aback at the brutality of the strangers especially when their explanation is “because you were home” chills.

• He got jump scared at the end.

• Suddenly he’s replacing and reinforcing the locks in the castle as if someone like him could be hurt by a group of masked strangers

#obey me request #obey me headcanons #obey me movie marathon #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me solomon #obey me thirteen #obey me simeon #obey me raphael #obey me mephistopheles #obey me barbatos

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 7 months

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Hey, so I'm a cis(?) guy who really wants to go on estrogen, but i also really do not want to have breasts. Is there any way that i could get all (or most, i guess) of the other effects of estrogen without developing breasts?

Lee says:

Hi my friend! Navigating your gender identity and the decision to undergo hormone therapy can be complicated.

It's sometimes possible to start hormones if you're 100% sure that you want hormones, even if you aren't 100% sure what your gender identity is, but support from a therapist who specializes in gender identity issues can be invaluable.

They can help you explore your feelings about your gender and your body, expectations, and concerns about taking estrogen and the changes it brings, and I would really recommend looking into finding a supportive therapist.

You don't always need to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria by a mental health provider to access HRT if you see a provider who uses informed consent, and not everyone feels therapy is helpful in this area-- it really depends on whether you can find a trans-friendly, competent, and affirming therapist.

But if you don't see a therapist (And even if you do!) finding support from the trans community can be super helpful if you're questioning being trans, or considering medical transitioning.

Looking for local support groups that meet in-person or online can be a great opportunity to hear from people who have similar experiences as you do because they can provide useful insights and helpful information.

With all that said, it isn't possible to pick and choose what changes you will get when you start hormones. It's an all-or-nothing thing. If you choose to start estrogen, you may experience some breast growth. For reference, this chart lists some of the major changes that you can expect from estrogen!

You can't anticipate how much chest growth you'll get- some people have minimal growth and others develop a C cup or larger-- so if the breast growth is a deal breaker, estrogen may not be the right option for you.

There is a type of medication called SERMs which might allow you to take estrogen without breast growth, but there isn’t enough research on the effect of taking SERMs and I don’t have personal experience with it either, so I can’t provide much information on that— you’ll need to speak to a medical provider about it.

Because the effects are not fully known, I would assume that there’s a chance that even if you take them you could still have some amount of breast growth, and make your decision based on that assumption unless your provider says otherwise.

You may choose to wear a binder for the rest of your life if you get breast growth and remain unhappy with your chest, but you might be swapping one form of dysphoria for another, so you should really consider whether all of the desired changes that you'd get from estrogen are more important to you than the one big change that you don't want.

You could also start estrogen and wear a binder until your chest has stopped developing (at least ~2 years) then undergo top surgery to get a flat chest again if you are uncomfortable with the breast growth from estrogen therapy. This is a significant decision and requires thorough consultation with both your hormone prescriber and a plastic surgeon.

If you feel that having breast growth isn't worth the other changes, you could explore other things.

While estrogen can slow down the growth of new facial hair, it does not typically eliminate existing facial hair, even though facial and body hair may become lighter and grow more slowly. It also doesn't reverse hair loss that has already happened, although it can slow or prevent future hair loss.

So removing facial and body hair with laser hair removal and electrolysis, and reversing and preventing further hairline recession and balding with a hair transplant, minoxidil, and finestride might mimic some of the hair-related changes that you might see from estrogen.

Similarly, facial feminization surgery and body contouring surgery can help to mimic the body fat redistribution that you'd experience on estrogen without also creating the chest growth that you don't want to experience.

However, these surgeries are more invasive than estrogen, so if you're considering estrogen, you may want to wait until after you've been on it for a couple of years before you decide whether you still need surgery or are satisfied with the changes.

If you're confident that you don't want estrogen then you could hop straight to those surgeries, but they may or may not be covered by insurance even with a diagnosis of gender dysphoria; some policies recognize that they are medically necessary interventions and others deem them cosmetic.

As you may have guessed, the vast majority of people who were assigned male at birth and express interest in taking estrogen are not cisgender men. Many end up identifying as transgender women or non-binary people. That doesn't mean that you are trans for sure, but just considering the overall probabilities, I'd say there's a good chance that you have more to explore to figure out about your gender.

But even if you don't end up identifying as part of the community, you can still consider medical interventions even if you identify as a cisgender man. It's your body, and you should do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable in it.

It's okay to look into starting estrogen (or any other medical transitioning step) while identifying as male. Just make sure you get the support you need from your medical providers so you know all the options available to you and the risks of each choice.

#Lee says #estrogen #questioning #trans #hormones #hrt #medical transitioning

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randyisrad · 8 months

Text

hello shuake nation . i'm here to deliver my goro bpd essay that i promise like 2 months ago .

1) fear of abandonment/drastic efforts to avoid abandonment

I'D LIKE TO START THIS ONE OFF BY . showing examples of him being abandoned. Shido leaving him and his mother before he was born, and it's implied that his mom talked about it like. all the time (also not great for small child !) his mom attempting suicide , and goro being passed between foster homes.

goro goes to the most extreme lengths to prevent being abandoned again . creating an entirely different version of himself to get people to like him, assassinating people at shido's command so he won't toss him aside , and (this one might be a little bit of a stretch) murdering akira . this boy does nawt like being abandoned ! ! !

2) unstable relationships, often switching between idealized and devualued

do i even . need to explain this one . (im going to anyway)

goro's relationship with akira is SO unstable . he cares about him so much and that . really scares him , but hes so unbelievably jealous of him and feels that akiras "better than him" and thinks he pities him so he hates him . he praises him one minute and even if he hates it he genuinely means it , but internally he's terrified of akira looking down at him so he has such an anger towards him . akira is 100% his favorite person and he doesn’t know how to process that so he lashes out . i dont know how to put everything into words but im keeping this one shorter cuz its pretty self explanatory and if i got the chance i would not shut UP about it so

3) unstable identity and sense of self

he literally has 2 personas . one crafted out of lies and images of who he wishes he was, and the other crafted out of the hatred he holds . thats unstable as hell

4) impulsivity in at least 2 areas that are self destructive

went to his dad when he was 16 telling him abt his persona so he could get close enough to ruin him , constantly carrying out hits for shido to get close enough to ruin him , turning himself psychotic with his personas power . the list goes on

5) frequent suicidal ideology/behavior

goro turned himself psychotic , was fully prepared to be killed by the phantom thieves as long as they died with him, had no plan for what would happen after he murdered shido, fully accepted his death in maruki’s reality , etc .

6) emotional instability

he tries to keep a calm demeanor , but due to being neglected in his childhood , goro has no emotional maturity . he’s constantly lashing out , specifically at akira and the other thieves . he has a meltdown in front of them despite being deathly afraid of being vulnerable , and he has a habit of blaming every issue on akira like it’s his fault . this one is also a little bit of a reach , but he shows a bit of his true personality to akira after their rank 8 battle , and tells him he hates him . it doesn’t make a lot of sense for him to tell akira this , especially if he’s trying to keep up the detective prince charade , which he goes back to shortly after this .

7) chronic feelings of emptiness

this one is hard to directly point out , because it isn’t explicitly shown in game , but it’s obvious if you read in between the lines . we don’t know a lot about his childhood besides what he says in the bathhouse , but he seems sort of apathetic and empty about his circumstances .

8) emotional outbursts

this one is really similar to the 6th diagnostic criteria , but once again -- he lashes out at akira and blames him for his situation even if it isn’t his fault , lashes out at the phantom thieves , and has a meltdown in front of them . but i’d specifically like to mention the scene in his bossfight when his charade flickers , and loki is seen for a brief moment . he wasn’t trying to summon loki , but he’s so emotional that he comes out anyway .

9) stress ideation and severe dissociative symptoms

i can’t specifically think of any examples for this but . it’s real in my heart . trust . but if goro has ALLL of the other symptoms , it’s so very likely for him to have this one , too .

and that concludes my goro akechi bpd essay , i hope you enjoyed goro nation . :3

#goro akechi #shuake #akeshu #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #p5 #ren amamiya #goro akechi bpd essay #goro akechi character analysis

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belphegorspillow · 1 year

Text

Petals [Obey me x Gn!Mc]

TW: Angsty one-shot, Reader has Hanahaki disease, death, lesson 16 spoilers

Multiple Endings at the bottom! + an Epilogue [I did my best to try make them the same amount]

Mc held onto the sides of their sink as blood and petals cover up the sink and counters.

Mc looked up at the Mirror, grabbing their mouth-wash and cleans out their bloody mouth. They started to wash away all the blood that covered the sink

This has been happening for months. Ever since they started to crush on them. Yet they knew they would never be able to date their crush...

The first time they saw a petal fall was when they told themselves that they would never end up with their crush.

The petals started white and pink before turning red as the thorns started to tear inside of their body dying the innocent petals the colour of their pain.

As time passed more petals came before it started to bring blood along with it. They couldn’t do much about it. All they knew is that their time was limited if they didn’t confess or get a surgery to remove the flowers - along with the memories of them...

Mc would keep it a secret from all of their friends, no way that they could let it slip that they were dying because of something stupid...a dumb crush...

Each time their crush came up to them, they would feel the burning of the petals that were trying to escape their throat.

Every night Mc would force everyone out to be able to cough up petals that they were trying to hold back for the whole day.

Their friends and their crush would ask what was wrong. They would lie that they were alright. Nothing was wrong. They were okay....

No one needed to know...No one needed to...

“Oi MC!” Mammon yelled as he busted open the door. Mc panicked a bit as they tried to clean up the blood faster before Mammon would find them. As Mammon entered to find Mc’s mouth covered in blood, petals littering the bathroom counter.

He screamed. “Mc!”

“They have a disease called Hanahaki disease.” The doctor explained as the brothers stood at the entrance of Mc’s hospital room. They were looking between each other as expecting for someone to know. They could see the fear on Satan. They knew it was something bad.

“It means they have roses growing inside of them, it is slowly going to pierce through their lungs if it isn’t delt with.” The doctor explained as he showed an xray of Mc’s chest, roses were covering their lungs, as if it grew anymore it would kill them.

“Is there any way to prevent this from occurring?” Lucifer had some strain in his voice as he asked the doctor, clearly trying to not let his emotions get the better of him.

“There is a way. If we remove the flowers through surgery. But they will lose all memories of the person who they like and because of how bad they are already...it may not be 100 percent sucessful..”

“Who they like?” Satan soon sighed. “ Hanahaki disease is when a human has...feels for someone and they haven’t told them for a long time... They start to develop the disease... The ways to cure it is to confess to their crush or to get the surgery...”

The group went quiet. So Mc was going to forget someone if they get it removed.

“But, they chose to not get the surgery...” That suddenly got the attention of the group. “What.” Lucifer seemed angry at this. He was. Mc was going to die if they didn’t get this.

“Mc ain’t getting the surgery?!” Mammon was clearly panicked at this news. “Why aint they?! They can die!”

“My henry...They are going to die!!” “Poor Mc! They need the surgery!” “We can’t lose them again..“ “Mc... They have to get the surgery.”

“I don’t want to.” Mc opened up the door as they stared at each of the brothers, violently coughing as red petals fell to the ground. “I chose that I don’t want the surgery. I don’t want to forget him and I know he won’t feel the same so I don’t want to confess either... So my only choice is this. None of you can change my mind. It’s final.”

The group would look at Mc, as much as they were pained to try and get Mc to reconsider. But they didn’t.

They were going to die... and they had to accept that... So they were going to spend as much time as they could with Mc before they die... they had to...

As Mc was reaching their final few days, they could barely breath anymore. They decided they would spend it with their crush for their final moments...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ENDINGS:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucifer

Lucifer was in his study, classical music was playing softly as he was doing his paperwork. A soft knock came at the door where he called them inside.

“Hey Lucifer...” Their soft raspy voice caused Lucifer to look up at them, seeing their normally warm skin turn pale, their eyes having so little light and blood on the edge of their mouth. It hurt Lucifer...It hurt him so much...

“Can we hang out for a bit. You need a break... Let’s take a walk.” Lucifer pushed himself out of his seat. “Mc, you’re too weak to go out and-”

“That’s why you’re coming with me. Now lets go before it gets too dark.” Mc started to head out, with Lucifer sighing softly and going to follow

As the two left and started their walk, Lucifer made sure to have a grip on their side incase they were to start to feel lightheaded.

Mc smiled weakly as the breeze pushes the hair out of their face as the two were walking.

“Thanks for coming with Lucifer...” “Of course Mc. I enjoy spending time with you...” Mc smiled a bit as they felt their heart beat faster before a coughing fit started and Lucifer held them close as he watched the petals and blood fall onto the ground.

“We should go back-” “There is a park that isn’t too far. Lets go there.” Mc cut him off and smiled as they wiped the blood from their mouth. “It will be fun. Come on.” They held his hand and started to walk ahead a bit as to lead him to the park.

As the two reached the location, up on a hill in the park, Mc sat down on the grass and smiled a bit, patting the spot beside them. Lucifer hesitated before looking at Mc again and sighed, sitting beside them on the ground.

As the two sat in silence, Mc looked at the view and hummed. “I will miss the Devildom...” Lucifer looked at them again and seeing as they were tearing up. “I will miss your brothers, and their shenanigans.... Don’t tell Satan that I told you this, but he is the reason why your hair was dyed entirely gray once.” Mc laughed before coughing violently as they felt their breath disappear. They fell onto the ground as they were coughing violently.

“And most importantly...I would miss you...” They whispered as their eyes were closing. “because...i love you...”

Lucifer grabbed onto them, transforming into his demon form as to try and get back to the hospital nearby. He didn’t care if you were against the surgery...you needed it...you can’t die... not now...please... don’t die on him. He loves you too. He can’t...no please...don’t...

Lucifer felt your body go cold, no heartbeat, no pulse...nothing... He sat there, craddling Mc in his arms as tears started to fall..

‘Why didn’t you just forget me...‘

Mammon

“Mammon.” Mc grinned a bit as they went into his room, they were holding onto the wall as they were trying to go over to him. “Wanna watch some movies together?”

Mammon looked at Mc, he frowned a bit as he missed their normal, more vibrate personality. He hated seeing how weak they had become...

As Mammon set up the movies, Mc would curl up into his side and look at the screen and hums a bit. They look at Mammon who had his arm around them. They felt their heart start to beat faster before they started to cough intensely.

“Mc-” “I’m fine.” Mc coughed as they wiped the blood and petals from their mouth. “It’s not as painful as before.” They smiled at him tiredly. They moved to sit more comfortably on the couch and tried to relax

Mammon stared at them before starting to tears up.. he rests his head on their shoulder, causing them to get flustered, but it didn’t stop the petals that were clogging up their airway.

“Why don’t you just...get the surgery... Whoever ya forget, it doesn’t matter... I don’t want ya to leave me...”

Mc tears up as they open their mouth about to speak when they started to feel light headed, intense pain coming from their chest as they moved their hand to their chest.

Their lung got ripped... They were dying. Mc started to close their eyes before whispering softly. “I didn’t want to forget you Mammon...I loved you too much...”

Mammon froze at hearing that, he would be flustered and excited that his crush liked him back, yet they didn’t move. He didn’t hear them talk, they went cold...

They were gone. Mammon moved to hold them, staring at their closed eyes. They looked so peaceful...yet they were gone..

Mammon couldn’t see clearly as his teared filled his eyes. He screamed and cried.

Mc was gone.

“Why did ya have to leave me...’

Leviathan

Mc was trying their best to heal Levi as he was storming through the dungeon in the game the two were playing.

Levi had been asking Mc to play the game with them forever, yet they only decided to play it with him today.

Levi was determined to finish the game. They didn’t have a long time to complete it. He didn’t know how much longer you would be with him... He needed to go through and spend as much time as he could with you.

“Levi...can we have a break? My hands are starting to cramp” Levi paused the game and panicked a bit. “Are you okay?! I-is it something to do with the disease? Are you leaving me?”

Mc grabbed Levi’s hands and looked at him. “Calm down... It’s just that my hands hurt from playing...” Levi nods his head and looks down, mumbling sorry.

“Are you scared?” Levi asked Mc softly. “Scared that you are dying?” Mc looked at their crush and hummed. “A bit... I’m also upset that I can’t spend time with anyone anymore. I will miss playing games with you and binging anime.” They laughed as they thought about it, before they violently started to cough up petals.

“Mc!” Levi went over and grabbed a bottle of water nearby as well as held onto Mc to prevent them from falling and getting hurt if they were going to faint.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” Mc smiled weakly as their hand reaches to hold Levi’s. They sighed softly.

“I’m terrified honestly Levi...” Mc told him. “I’m scared... I don’t want to die...”

“Why didn’t you get the surgery.” Levi asked them as he tears up a bit and looked at them. “Whatever normie you would have forgotten didn’t matter! It’s not fair you have to suffer because of them.”

As Mc was going to respond, they started to violently cough. They held onto Levi, who grabbed them. He was panicking. “I-I will get Lucifer!” Levi tried to help them up, but they weakly pulled him down.

“It’s too late Levi...” Mc told him softly as they were coughing. They were tearing up as the pain was getting worse. They knew this was their last moments - Levi knew this too. Neither one wanted this.

“I love you Levi...I love you...” Mc whispered, but even though they confessed, they still died, because of the thorns destroying their lungs.

“Mc...” Levi stared and cries as he held onto their hand.

“Why did you leave me...”

Satan

Mc was sitting with Satan outside in the garden of the House of Lamentation as a small group of kittens were sneaking inside the gardens.

Satan would pet one gently as he looks over at Mc. “How is Ms Paws doing?” He asked as Mc was happily petting the small kitten.

“Ms paws is really cuddly.” They laughed weakly as they hummed a bit. They were trying to hold back the feeling of coughing up the petals.

Satan seemed to take notice and grabbed their hand. “If you hold it in, you could get worse...” He told them. They nod a bit and quickly pass the kitten over to Satan before moving and starting to cough up petals.

He would place down the kittens before going over to rub Mc’s back gently. That didn’t seem to help as Mc was still coughing violently.

“Let’s go inside... you’re getting worse..” Mc shook their head as they were stopping their coughing fit.

“It’s fine. I want to be outside... It’s nice...” Mc looked to where the kittens were and frowned. “They left.”

“They went back to their mom..” Satan gestured over to the group of kittens surrounding a cat that was escaping out the garden with the kittens.

Mc smiled a bit and sighed softly. “I really wanted to spend more time with the cute kittens! Now I can’t.” Mc pouted a bit which Satan looked at them.

“You could...If you go and get the surgery...” He suggested. Which Mc huffed and shook their head.

“I can’t. I’m in too bad of a condition to get fixed up now.” “Not true.. You can get it removed and angel magic can-”

“Satan. I said I’m not going to.” Mc said firmly as they look at him. “I am not going to do it. As much as you try.”

Satan frowned and looked at them. “Why not.. You are choosing to keep feelings for some guy than dying...”

“Because... I want to remember him... even if i’m dying.” Mc hummed as they started to cough again, petals and blood fell into the grass. It didn’t seem like their coughing fit was stopping anytime soon.

Satan went over and he grabbed their side, he noticed the light in their eyes was fading. “Mc-”

“I don’t want to forget you..” Mc whispered as they closed their eyes and their body went limp in Satan’s arms.

“You...” Satan was quiet as he stared at their face. He placed them on the ground before slamming his fist into the ground out of anger. He was angry. He hated himself. He was the reason. Why didn’t you just forget him.

“I should have forced you to forget me..”

Asmodeus

Asmodeus was finishing up with the outfit that you were wearing. “There. You look perfect my darling.” He smiled a bit, though it seemed a bit forced.

He hated how the outfit didn’t make you look like you... Your vibrate skin was pale, your bright eyes were duller. Nothing about your appearance made him hopeful you would survive...

“Thank you Asmo. I look really amazing thanks to you.” Mc spun around before wobbling a bit and Asmodeus grabbed onto their arm, leading them to sit on his bed.

“Be careful! I don’t want you getting hurt.” Asmo stared at Mc who smiled before feeling their throat blocking up with petals so they moved quickly to try and get to the bathroom, but were too weak to stand so they started to cough petals all over the ground

Asmodeus hated the sight, but he would deal with it to try and help Mc. He moved them to his bed, not minding that they were coughing blood and petals all over his sheets.

“Thanks Asmo...Sorry you have to deal with it...” Mc apologised as they were going to wipe the blood off of their mouth - which Asmodeus did instead with a napkin.

“It’s okay dear... I want to make sure you’re okay...” Asmo stared at them before tears started to fill his eyes. “Why Mc... Why didn’t you get the surgery!”

He cried as he moved to hug them. Mc looked at him and hugged him back - pushing back the feeling of coughing. “Because I don’t want to lose the person I like...”

“Mc...Who ever it was... they don’t deserve you. You should save yourself and forget them. It doesn’t matter.”

Mc smiled before they were forced to start coughing again. But this time as they were coughing, they couldn’t breath. They were loosing their vision. Their time was up...

“I didn’t want to...lose you Asmo...”

Asmodeus froze as their body went still, they were gone. Asmodeus cries as he held their body close.

“You should have forgotten me. I could have won back your love..”

Beelzebub

Beelzebub was sitting with Mc out on a picnic, which they invited him on. He was worried as they were coughing violently all the way to the picnic location.

“Mc.. Are you sure we shouldn’t go back...” Mc looked at him and shook their head. “No. The flowers here only bloom once every 1000 years. I have to see it with you. And it’s better to have it with a picnic.”

Mc smiled at him weakly as they turned to look at the sunset. They move to lean on Beel a bit before a large amount of petals filled their throat, causing them to cough violently again

Beel moved quickly to be at their side and rub their back. He was worried if he held them, he was going to break them.

Mc finished and looked at him. “Thanks Beel...” Mc smiled weakly. They looked as the sun was moving down, the flowers were going to bloom soon...

“Mc... Why did you choose to not get the surgery...” Mc hummed and looked at Beel before smiling sadly.

“I didn’t want to forget the person I loved. And If I died during the surgery because of how bad I was already, I wouldn’t have remembered him. But if I die this way, I can remember him still..”

Beel looked down. This reminded him of loosing Lilith. He would lose another person who he loves.

Beel moved to hug Mc gently. Mc smiled and held him close. They started to cough violently, causing beel to pull away as they fell on the ground

“Mc!” Beel didn’t know what to do, he looked as they reached to hold his hand.

“Beel...I love you...please be happy...” Mc whispered as they closed their eyes. They’re hold on his hand disappeared and Beel stared at them in silence.

He couldn’t believe it. He was the reason. He is the reason why Mc died. He lost them...because of him

“It’s my fault... It’s my fault you died..“

Belphegor

Belphie had been forcing himself to stay awake. He couldn’t sleep because he knew he was going to lose MC at any point.

“Belphie. We are going to nap.” Mc told him as they grabbed his arm and gently pulled him towards the attic.

“Mc, we won’t have any time to spend together if we sleep all the time..” Belphie tried to say as he was forcing himself to try and keep his eyes open - he couldn’t sleep. He had to spend time with you..

“Belphie.. Come on...please..” Belphie eventually caved in and went with you to the attic to lay down and relax.

He would hold Mc gently with their back facing him incase they were needed to cough up petal.

He winces as he heared Mc started to cough violently. He moved his hand to rub their back gently and frowned. He thought back to Mc’s face when he killed them.

He hated it. He hated that he killed them once. He hated they were going to die again..

“Get the surgery... Mc please..” Belphie tried to ask them again. “I don’t care that you don’t want to forget them... But you have to...”

“No matter how many times you tell me. I will not. I will not forget him.” Belphie held Mc close and tears up.

“But you are dying because of him. You can’t die...You can’t leave...”

“I’m sorry Belphie. My choice was mad-” Mc started to violently cough as they were struggling to speak. They look over at Belphie. Even if they were dying.

Belphie should know how Mc actually felt.

“Belphie...I love you...” Mc smiled weakly as they moved and hugged him. Before Belphie could do anything else, their grip around him was gone.

He stared at them and held them close to him.

‘Why did I have to kill you twice..‘

~~~~~~~~~~

EPILOGUE:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Mc’s Death. The brothers were never the same.

Lucifer locked himself away to always work, never finding him relaxing. Because if he did. Mc would come back into his head. He didn’t have time to grieve. He had to work

Mammon was never home. He was always out at places that he never took MC to as to try and not remember them. If he did, he would break down. He was too upset to win at any casino

Levi was more of a shut in than usual. Burying himself in games and animes that he knew you wouldn’t like. Even if he hated the game, he wouldn’t want to be reminded of how many things he wanted to spend time doing with you

Satan was more wrathful than usual. They could hear Satan punching his wall out of anger. He went back to how he was when he was just born from Lucifer. A pure demon of Wrath

Asmodeus was never leaving his room. His appearance was a mess. No posts on social media. Nothing. It was as if he disappeared and died as well when Mc left.

Beel barely ate anything. Whenever he saw his favourite foods, he would think back to MC and the feeling of sickness hit him so he could never eat. He would spend most of his time sitting outside of Mc’s room - not wanting to enter or else it would hurt more

Belphie didn’t know if sleeping or being awake was better. Either one he was faced with thinking or seeing MC again. He hated how no matter what he did he thought back to their pained face of when he killed them and their face when he saw them dead.

The room beside the kitchen that was considered Mc’s room was never touched. It was collecting dust. No one entered it besides when Lucifer went to put sheets over the furniture to prevent more dust from covering everything. No one wanted to go in. It was the last thing that reminded them of you.

The movie marathons. The book binging. The napping. The midnight snacking. The dress up. The chatting about anime. The comforting words.

All of that was gone.

#Obey me #obey me x reader #😭#obey me lucifer #obey me mammon x mc #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me x mc #obey me x gn reader #obey me x gn mc #obey me angst #tw:death #hanahaki disease #my writing #obey me mammon #om #omswd

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cybrsan · 1 year

Note

Ahhh congrats on your 100!!! I love your prompt options, can you plz do yunho with 1, 14, 36

Thank you so much! Since you didn't specify what genre, I avoided writing smut just in case.

Prompts: 1. “Come over here and make me.” + 14. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.” + 36. “You were put on this earth to give me a headache.” Pairing: Roommate!Yunho x F!Reader Genre: Angst, Fluff Word Count: <1kTags/warnings: Alcohol usage, hidden feelings, somewhat controlling behavior

Requests are currently closed, but my masterlist can be found here.

“Jeong Yunho, give me my phone back right now, or I am going to end you.”

“Come over here and make me,” he teases, letting the device hang haphazardly between his thumb and index finger as he dangles it over the sink that is currently filled with dirty dishes and soapy water.

You lunge at him and he immediately reacts, holding the phone high over his head and out of your reach. He laughs at you as you try to grab it from him, knowing that your attempts are useless. Not only are you unsteady on your feet from the alcohol, but he has a good few inches on you already. After a few tries, you decide to stop and save the rest of your dignity while you still can.

With an exasperated groan, you take a seat at one of the kitchen barstools, resigning yourself to simply glaring at him until he gives it back or until he erupts into a fiery blaze. Whatever happens first.

“You’re an asshole,” you chide. “I swear, you were put on this earth to give me a headache.”

He slides your phone into the small space between the cabinets and the ceiling, and you cringe, thinking of all the dust that’s probably up there. Maybe you’ll make him clean it as revenge. He sits next to you, and, petty as you are, you move down a stool so that there is space between you.

“I’m an asshole for not letting you text your ex? I feel like that’s unfair.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “I’m going to kick you out.”

“And pay the rent all on your own? Doubt it.”

“You know, you really need to stop hanging out with Wooyoung so much. His brattiness is rubbing off on you.”

Yunho laughs, throwing his head back. “He’s gonna love to hear that.”

Your conversation tapers off, Yunho getting himself a snack from one of the cupboards while you play absentmindedly with your half-drunk glass of rum and coke. The silence starts to grate at your nerves and, steeling yourself, you down the rest of your drink and get up to put on your coat.

Yunho eyes you suspiciously. “And where are you going?”

“Hyunjin’s house. Since someone won’t let me text him.”

“Woah,” he gets up, moving toward you. “I really don’t think that’s a good idea. Look, I’ll give you your phone back, but just wait until you’re sober, okay?”

“Nice try,” you huff, turning around to leave.

He grabs your wrist, his grip gentle but still firm enough to prevent you from moving. “Y/N, you aren’t thinking straight. He broke your heart, remember?”

The reminder makes you bristle, and you choose to ignore it. “Yunho, you can’t stop me.”

“I think I can,” he says, moving to stand in front of the door. “Take off your coat.”

“What?”

He raises an eyebrow. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

You gape at him, shocked by his audacity. Yet, as much as you don’t want to listen to him, there is something about his aura that makes you hesitant to argue. So, for the second time tonight, you give in to him, harrumphing as you take off your coat and throw it directly at his face.

“Fine, you win. I’ll stay locked in the apartment forever, resorting to carrier pigeons and smoke signals as my only means of communicating with the outside world!”

You flop onto the couch dramatically, and Yunho rolls his eyes as he hangs your coat up for you. “You’ll thank me in the morning.”

“Doubt it.” Next thing you know, Yunho is in front of you, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. You screech, flailing in his grasp. “What the hell do you think you are doing?!”

“Putting you to bed.”

“Well, I’m flattered, but I’m really not into the whole super dominant thing.”

He ignores your snide comment, gently placing you into your bed and tucking you in so that the blanket forms a cacoon around you. You grumpily snuggle deeper into your mattress, and he chuckles. “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

“Am not.”

“Are too—even when you attempt to cause me bodily harm. Now get some rest.”

“Wait,” you say, stopping him from leaving. “Can I ask you something?”

He sits next to you and nods. “Yeah, go ahead.”

“Why do you care so much? About me not reaching out to Hyunjin, I mean.”

“You really have to ask?” When you don’t answer, he continues, “He hurt you, Y/N. I watched, unable to do anything to help, as it took you weeks to get over him. I don’t want to see that happen again. I care about you too much to stand idly by this time.”

You light up a bit at his words. “Yeah? You really mean that?”

He smiles at you, eyes crinkling, and says, “Of course.” Then, leaning down, he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. “I’m sorry for stealing your phone earlier. Maybe I was a little drunk, too. I’ll charge it for you.”

“It’s okay. Thank you, Yunho. For looking out for me.”

“Always. Sleep tight, okay?”

He stands up and turns off your light, and it doesn’t take long for you to fall into a dreamless slumber. When you wake, your phone is at your bedside table, along with a glass of water, some aspirin, and a handwritten note.

Please don’t go back to him. Let me treat you better.

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sunflowergraves · 1 year

Text

Will Character Analysis: Panic Attacks

I did a breakdown of Will's character a few weeks ago after my first read-through of TSATS. I went back and reread the book (mostly because I'm obsessed), and I noticed something that I don't think a lot of people picked up on. Will was having panic/anxiety attacks throughout the course of the book.

I think this is extremely important to recognize because it gives us a better understanding of why Will was reacting the way he was during the entire quest. It also answers some questions that I previously had.

As someone who has severe anxiety and suffers from panic/anxiety attacks, it makes complete sense that Will would also. He is forced into uncomfortable and challenging situations that he can't control. He feels useless and incompetent, especially when it comes to helping his boyfriend. And he already felt lonely, scared, and unsure before they even started. Combine all that with overstimulation and stress and you've got yourself a great recipe for mental disaster.

If you don't want TSATS spoilers, I suggest stop reading here. I'm going to provide some examples from the book to help me out. This will also be pretty long tbh lol.

The Subway Ride:

As they were leaving the station, Nico asked Will to stop shaking his leg (an anxious habit). Soon after this, Nico noted that Will had closed his eyes and started using a breathing technique. He also said that Will did this often to calm down and decided to leave his boyfriend alone.

Breathing techniques are a very common way to help prevent an attack or calm them down. I've had it drilled into my head that breathing techniques are one of the first things to do when I feel overly anxious/upset.

As a healer, Will most likely knows about these and uses them to help keep calm. He had just experienced a very stressful taxi ride (which he is described as clinging to the seatbelt for dear life) and is now on a train to start his journey to Tartarus. I'd be freaking out too.

The Trog Tunnels:

The second time Will exhibited an attack was when they were crawling through the tunnels with the Trogs to get to Menoetius farm. Will was complaining about feeling closed in and felt like the tunnel would collapse. He also started feeling nauseous, woozy, and forgetful. The second they left the tunnel, Will immediately needed to rest. He kept his eyes closed and felt better once he had a minute to breath.

These are all symptoms of a panic/anxiety attack. While symptoms definitely range based on the severity of an attack, the most common ones are dizziness, nausea, and brain fog. This is because your brain is tricked into thinking what is happening is a life-or-death situation. It's pumping adrenaline into your body, but there's nothing happening physically to you. This leaves you with a body filled with energy and a mind screaming with chaos.

The only way to really stop these attacks is to sit down somewhere you feel comfortable (literally anywhere but a tunnel in Will's case) and calm yourself down.

The Tartarus Argument:

The fourth example is the argument Will and Nico had after the whole pigeon fiasco. The power of anxiety leads you into overthinking and what was Will doing? He believed that Nico was going to abandon him and that he deserved it. He was 100% convinced of this despite Nico's very stubborn loyalty trait. Will literally broke down in gasping sobs, unable to think of anything but being left behind.

Will had been facing attack after attack since this moment that he finally just broke. When faced with doubt and fear and panic towards the one he loves, towards the person he trusts, coming back from that brink is almost impossible.

Tartarus:

Will was basically in a constant state of panic during the entire Tartarus trip. He was pale, shaky, loopy, and irritated. The rational brain train had left the station and it was not coming back.

As a fellow struggler of anxiety and attacks, I'm glad they added this side of anxiety, even if it was never explicitly stated. I believe that it was purposeful that both authors didn't state that Will was having attacks because it is a sensitive and heavy topic that is hard to discuss, especially when they were covering a bunch of other bases.

The main reason I wanted to make this though was again to drive him the point that Will was not a whiny, weak-spined character. He was struggling with his own anxiety and fears which drove him to act the way he did. I always see people preaching the importance of supporting others, yet my dash is filled with angry, hateful comments towards a character that is meant to represent people like me.

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furiousgoldfish · 2 years

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Abusers will fill your mind how thing would be so good for you, if only you'd be more understanding, more obedient, more allowing, more non-offended at their insults, more forgiving. They build up this idea that every misstep of theirs only happened because you did something first, you assumed something, you misunderstood, you didn't give them enough to feel safe and free. You made them act out because you didn't give them enough safe space to be themselves.

So abuse victims can go forward thinking that this is how you make people good; you love them unconditionally. You always assume the best of them, you allow them missteps and forgive them, you give 100% of your energy to them. You're always excited to be with them, you never judge them, never judge their actions, only their intentions. You show them that they will be understood and loved and listened to, no matter what they do, almost like a child. You give them freedom to be themselves and show them that they're safe to open up, safe to express, safe to ask for whatever they need and safe to love you back.

And if something goes bad, then this is your fault; you didn't do enough. Because if you did, that person would be sweet and loving and kind. You take responsibility for their actions, they don't take responsibility for anything. You get to feel bad when they hurt you, because it was on you to prevent it, even though it was unpreventable.

Abusers claim that someone having bad assumptions about them, is what makes them act out and act unkindly, they're punishing those people for assuming bad things, and why should they act nice if people are going to assume bad stuff? They frame it as if the assumption is what made them bad. The truth is, no assumption you could have about anyone will affect their behaviour. If you assume someone is a bad person, and they're not, then the time will show the reality of the situation. A good person will not start acting out to 'punish' the assumption maker, they'll keep being good to prove the assumption wrong. Acting out to 'punish' the assumption is something we allow to children, not adults. Every adult understands it's immature and counter-productive to fight assumptions with even worse actions, and that kindness is not rewarded with positive feedback every single time. They also understand that acting cruelly and viciously will not be rewarded with positive feedback. They know it's unreasonable to ask for it, they know they're doing it just to push blame on the victims, for their own behaviour.

Giving abusers endless positive reinforcement ends up with them turning into the worst versions of themselves. Them feeling safe means they can now revert to their most selfish, unkind and sadistic selves, and they will not be judged, and all their sins will be forgiven. They'll want you to feel safe to open up as well, but only so they could use the most vulnerable and intrusive info about you to hurt you when you try to hold them accountable for their behaviour, or when you try to stand up to their opinions and orders.

You can't give abusers enough love and kindness to turn them good. It has been tried endless times, and it turns into the same exploitative, cruel and abusive situation. They will never have enough, and nothing will ever be enough. They're not after love, they're after control and superiority. They will not love you as their equal, you can only be a toy. And when you're broken, they'll seek out a new one. Nobody deserves to be put thru that. Nobody deserves to be abandoned and devalued after putting their best into the relationship.

#toxic relationships #toxic friendships #abusive relationships #abusive friendships #social abuse #psychological abuse #controlling the assumptions #abusers forcing victims to take responsibility for their own behaviour #traumatic abuse #abandonment

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dreamersbcll · 11 months

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“Tinder”

——————-

“You look beautiful, Tara”.

Her sister blushed, twirling in her dress. “Thanks, Sam. I think blue is my color,”.

Sam smiled tightly, trying to hide her annoyance. Tara was going out on a dinner date with this douchey frat boy she matched on Tinder. And it was safe to say Sam wasn’t a fan.

For the last two days, Sam had been following the boy. His name was Ryder, the youngest child trying to get a finance degree. She had taken off two days of work to watch this boy be a raging misogynist in class and racist with his friends.

He wasn’t good enough for Tara. Nowhere near it. And Sam wouldn’t allow this fledgling romance to continue past date number one.

But Mindy wasn’t on the same page with Sam. Nowhere near. The three girls went dress shopping four days ago to find Tara's new clothes. She had helped her baby sister buy three different options. And today was the day Tara was going on the date, so the three girls gathered and voted on the best one for Tara.

Sam did her best to act excited, but Mindy was ecstatic for Tara. The girl had even gone as far as to give Tara money for the date. It blew Sam’s mind that she was the only one against this boy.

As Tara headed to the bathroom to work on her hair, Sam turned to Mindy, fuming a bit.

“What the hell is wrong with you? This date is a bad idea. You’re not stupid, Min,” she hissed, staring daggers at the girl.

Mindy rolled her eyes back, placing a hand on Sam’s. “Sam, do I look like a fucking idiot? Of course, this is a bad idea. We can’t let this happen!”

Taken aback, Sam blinked in confusion. “Uh, what?”

Standing up, Mindy started pacing, signaling that she was about to monologue. “Okay, obviously this is a bad idea, we know this. But we also know that if I come off too strong about being against this, Tara might go anyway. And we also know that if you come off too strong about being against this, Tara will 100% go anyway. But here’s the kicker- we can reverse-psychology her.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, signaling the girl to continue.

Mindy grins, her eyes ablaze. “We play chicken. We throw our full support into this horrible idea. And we force her to come back to us without her knowing that this was our idea!” she floats, pumping a fist into the air.

Frowning, Sam crossed her arms. “Okay. It sounds like lying, though. Tara and-”

“- and you both had agreed to be honest about everything. I know. We’ve been over this. Just trust me, okay? We can do this!” Mindy said, cutting Sam off in her tracks.

Rolling her eyes, Sam nodded. “Fine. Let's do it.”

——-

“Why did you let her go? Who knows what that creep wants from her? That’s my baby sister! I know I can’t control what she does and who she sees- but god, this was the wrong decision!”

Mindy looked back at Sam with shocked eyes. “I didn’t think she’d go through with it, Sam! I thought this would work, I did!” she stammered.

Sam threw her hands in the air in frustration. “This whole plan was based on what you thought? Fuck!”.

“Sam,” Mindy said quietly, her eyes wide.

Sam shook her head vigorously. “No, I’m going after her. This game of chicken might work for you, but it doesn’t work for me. That’s my little girl,” she spat, turning around to chase after her sister.

But instead, she was smothered by a hug. It was Tara, holding her around the waist.

“What’s this?” she asked, confused by the way Tara clung to her middle. She eventually loosened up, hugging Tara back. Her sister was shaking against her middle, crying a bit.

Finally, her sister spoke, her eyes filled with anger. “How could you do that? You’re supposed to protect me and prevent me from doing stupid things! What the hell was that!” she cursed pulling back from Sam.

Taken aback, Sam stared at her blankly. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. There was no script for this.

“I- I guess I thought we could reverse-psychology you. It’s Mindy’s idea,” Sam stuttered, pointing at the other girl.

Mindy threw her hands up in frustration. “Dude!”

Tara looked at the girl, shushing her. “Not now. I’m mad at Sam for not being mi guardiana. That’s your job!” she groaned, clearly frustrated.

Sam smiled, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “Oh Mi Amor, if that’s what you wanted I would’ve done that. I just want to give you space to do your thing and make your own choices,” she softly said, tucking a lock of Tara’s hair behind her ear.

His sister’s eyes softened, gazing up at Sam with such bright adoration. “I just need you. I always just need you. You can make my choices any day. As long as I have you by my side,”.

Sam wrapped her sister in a hug, kissing her cheek. Tara hugged her back just as fiercely.

“Te quiero mi cielo,” she whispered, rocking the pair back and forth.

#scream #sam carpenter #tara carpenter #carpenter sisters #aka jealous/posssive sam? but also light hearted ?#a little of our best girl mindy meeks martin #idk i like it #ao3 author #my writing tag

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hannaxjo · 2 years

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Everything wrong with Steve Roger's ending

Steve’s ending sucked. It was bad. Terrible really. And there are so many reasons. It doesn’t make sense, it’s just a bunch of plot holes, it’s out of character and I hate it.

One of the things that was said more than once, was that you can’t go back in time, change things, and therefore change your future. Because your future is now your past, and you can’t change your past. Instead, you would create a new branch in the timeline. So…do these rules just not apply to Steve?

If it went as it should have, and he created a new timeline, how did he end up on that bench? He should’ve been stuck on that other timeline, and if he somehow got out of there as it was planned, he should have ended up where he left. That machine was his way of traveling, how would he end up on the bench? It doesn’t make any sense.

And if it was the same timeline as it is insinuated in the movie, well that just goes against the rules of time travel, that the movie told us. And even if it was possible, him being there would have changed so many things. What about Peggy's husband and kids. The claim that “Steve was the husband the whole time” is just garbage. (That would make his kiss with Sharon just that much weirder). Just, no. And I think, I think, someone might have noticed if Peggy Carter just got a husband who happens to look exactly like Steve Rogers, and ages at an unusually slow rate. (Also, how old would the Peggy be that Steve went back to? He sure as hell ain’t the same guy that Peggy kissed all those years ago anymore.) Anyway, isn't this something that would get him arrested by the TVA?

Okay, so the time travel makes the whole thing already impossible, but that’s not the only thing going on. What the fuck is going on with his age? So, Steve was born 1918, at the age of 25 he got injected with the super soldier serum. At 27, he crashed the plane and went on an aging pause for 66 years, waking up in 2011. Endgame is set to the year 2023, which makes Steve 39 years old. He goes back in time to the 40’s, we don’t know the exact year, but assuming that he’d go to the time after the crash, it’d be somewhere like between 1945 and 1949. That’s 74 to 78 years he would have lived in those five seconds. That makes him about 113 – 118 years old. He should be dead. And that Joe Biden doesn’t look like a 100+ years old.

So, like I said, he has had have aged at a slower pace, due to the serum. After a quick googling, I’ve found out that the serum does affect aging. It is said to be “slowing the (aging) process nearly by half”. It is also said that it “dramatically prevents individuals from aging”. Okay, so Steve got the serum at 25. Assuming that that Joe Biden really is Steve, he has been on the serum for about 88 – 93 years (not counting the years he was on ice). So, at 25, his aging starts slowing, so whereas to a normal human, those 88 – 93 years would show up as they are, for Steve they’d be more like 44 – 46 years (physically). That would make Biden physically about 69 – 71. And that actually makes sense, that’s believable. But now we got another issue. Steve is a healthy man (physically), he is a superhuman. I’d say it’s not too stupid to expect him to live (physically) to at least 80. (Unless he gets himself killed because he has no concept of self-preservation). So that’s 9 to 11 years he’s still got, with the serum that’s 18 to 22 years. See if they’d just not done this, they could’ve said he’s off on a mission, something less direct, or just de-serum him, and that’s why we don’t see him in TFATWS. Add like a few texts, phone calls or mentions of him. Done. But now it makes no sense for him to be dead already. (Is he even? Is it canon? Or was he just chucked into some retirement home. Where did he go? Did he just die? Yeah, he was old, but not that old??) So yeah, time travel-wise, and aging-wise, none of it makes any sense. But we’ve only been through category number one. And all this is if the serum slows the aging nearly by half, and I’ve seen some stuff where it says the serum would slow it even more. I mean in Age of Ultron there’s that bit where Thor insinuates that he might not be mortal.

So, I think we all know, that this plot line only happened because they had to write Cap out, and they went with the worst option they could come up with. But seriously, the whole thing is so fucking disrespectful. They didn’t even bother to try to make it the kind of an ending that makes sense. They completely ignored everything about canon and expected fans to be satisfied with it. Just because the ending was romantic, doesn’t mean it was good.

If there is one thing that we know about Steve, is that he can’t just sit down, and watch bad things happen. Very much like Peter said. “When you can do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.” That is very much the same mentality Steve has. (Which is why Peter would’ve been team cap if he’d known what was happening in CACW btw). If he can do something, anything, and he doesn’t, he’s going to blame himself. I mean that’s why he lied in his enlistment forms, multiple times. Just so he could do something. If he can do something, he will. (And sometimes he will even if he can’t). That man could not sit living his ‘happy life’, while he knows all the bad things that are to happen. He would do anything to save as many people as he can. And he knows that HYDRA is infiltrating S.H.I.E.L.D. He wouldn’t just let that happen. And he wouldn’t let Zola get hired, not after everything.

Steve also got over Peggy. He buried her. He knows Peggy has lived a good life, he knows Peggy had a husband and kids. He would never make her lose them. Steve knows that her and Peggy are in the past and are meant to be there. I mean it was literally a part of his story, acceptance. Of what happened to him, and what he could’ve had with Peggy, but can’t. He would never go back to interrupt her life.

Also, that “relationship” was terrible. I don’t believe there was an ounce of love in those feelings they shared. And to everyone who thinks they’re cute, because Peggy liked Steve before and after the serum; she didn’t. No, she showed him basic human decency before the serum, and after the serum her attitude changed completely. Peggy never wanted Steve Rogers; she wanted Captain America. But because she did show him basic human decency, and unfortunately Steve isn’t quite used to that, he took a liking to her. He found her attractive sure, but genuine deep feelings? No, I don’t think so.

After Steve had gotten the serum, saved Bucky and so on, there’s the bar scene where Peggy shows up while Bucky is trying to flirt Steve’s pants off (the usual). And here, Peggy starts flirting with Steve calling back to that “right partner” conversation, making it “their thing”. Anyway, next day and Steve is making out with Lorraine, so Peggy’s flirting clearly meant a lot to him. But the way Peggy reacted to that kiss? Fuck no. Steve hadn’t promised shit to Peggy, they were not in a relationship; she had no right to get mad at him and belittle him. AND THEN SHE SHOOTS AT HIM. That would not be okay, even if they had been in a relationship. I don’t care about any “Steve’s a supersoldier,” “Steve had the shield,” “she didn’t actually mean to hurt him.” Peggy used violence as a threat. That is not okay. And if Steve hadn’t pulled the shield up in time, he would have gotten shot. The whole thing just shows that Peggy is possessive, manipulative and abusive. That’s a red flag if I’ve ever seen one. So, their relationship would not last, and if it did, it would be unhealthy.

And this whole shooting thing likely made Steve feel bad for not feeling that way about her. (Because yk, he did something, got “punished” for it, therefore it must’ve been wrong to do so). So, he starts to believe that that’s how he should feel. The whole thing seems to be because he felt obligated to. Also, they didn’t spend that much time with each other. They kissed once. And that was initiated by Peggy. So yeah, that relationship sucks, and had they married Peggy would probably ended up being abusive and controlling.

But guess what, that wasn’t all. Even if their relationship wasn’t so fucking horrific, the fact that they chose to make Steve Rogers, Captain America, a character created by Jewish men, as a symbol to protect Jewish people, marry, a character they based off of a fucking nazi character will never be okay.

Also, in CA: TWS Steve found out that she had accepted the hiring of Zola, and other nazis. Do you really think that Steve could spend a life with her, knowing that she had said yes to hiring the man who is responsible for so much of the pain Bucky went through. So, unless Steve’s plan was to go to Peggy to beat the shit out of her, I don’t see why he would in any situation choose that. Steve has moved on from Peggy. That was literally one of the things established in CA: TWS and A: AOU. He doesn’t want any of that anymore. The 21st century is his home. And he likes the 21st century.

Okay, then the point that seems to be most in people’s minds when discussing this. Bucky. I’ve seen the comment “How could Steve abandon Bucky,” and listen, I don’t disagree. But I hate that comment. Because…Steve didn’t abandon Bucky. Steve chose to live almost 80 years without Bucky, after being apart from him for five years. For Bucky that was five seconds. And really, Steve doesn’t owe it to Bucky to be there as his therapist (harsh, I know. but it pisses me when people talk about Steve leaving as if it’s his duty to help bucky get better). That just ain’t how friendships work. Why Steve should have stayed, is because that’s what he wants. That’s his best friend. It doesn’t matter how you look at their relationship, they love each other. And that’s why Steve should have stayed. Because he would never choose to live without Bucky.

I also see people arguing that “Steve was selfish”, or that “he deserved to be selfish for once”. But that’s just ridiculous. I agree, Steve is sometimes selfish, and he deserves to be selfish after everything he has done and given for the world. But Steve going back to past? That wasn’t selfish. Which is why it doesn’t make sense that he would have done it. Because when it comes to Bucky? That’s when Steve is selfish. Even if he could have done all kinds of good in the past on an alternative timeline, Steve is too selfish to choose that after just getting Bucky back. So, yeah, sometimes Steve is selfish. And that’s why he would have stayed.

So, yeah. Steve’s ending is garbage. It’s one big plot hole after another, it’s out of character and it is just bad. I think the main reasons why it happened are; 1. they had to write him out. 2. Amatonormativity. 3. Heteronormativity. They had to write him out, but they wanted to give him somewhat of a happy ending. But because of amatonormativity, they thought that the only “happy endings” are romantic ones. And who would be person that would make most sense as his romantic partner. The guy who loves him dearly, whom he loves just as much, who cares for him, serum or not….or the abusive one who only cares about Captain America and herself, who died years ago. Well, obviously time traveling to live a life in the past would make more sense than being queer.

Yeah, you know, I think I might still be a bit angry about Steve’s ending. Who would have guessed. Steve deserved better, and dammit he deserved to actually heal from all the shit he has gone through. Steve’s ending was bad writing.

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