#yes I still use an iPhone 8 leave me alone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nochi-quinn · 1 year

Text

legend of vox machina watch party episodes 7-9: kareawkward

EPISODE 7

ohGOD my headset clicked on just as they started yelling

they all spontaneously forget how to introduce themselves

"I play Pike! and that's it"

PLEASE HOLD THE WATCH PARTY ISN'T WORKING BC IT THINKS I'M IN A DIFFERENT REGION

jasper the fluff bunny luck dragon!

dagon ;-;

dagon was a conure

matt and marisha are going to kill you both

Please Forgive Me Percy

"think good thoughts. don't make eye contact."

"I have WONDERFUL sketches" "you also have many strange skills."

"I don't want to"

grog strongjaw: kind of a crackhead

Legend of Vox Machina: Put Down Cursed Weapons

cursed weapons: not even once

"FUCK THAT ROCK"

hey kurama check it out I'm a blood fountain

(I have resisted making that joke three times now, I am only so strong)

"if you wanna flirt with someone, stop being mean to her friends"

right, taliesin, a friend

keto grog

"what a DING-DONG"

"I fought for that butthole"

YES they also made me think of Stray

"how often are you gonna see a bear and a jackalope team up?"

"did they complain a lot about it, is what I'm asking"

and then cheech marin happens

"we've all been there before" "allegedy!"

augh tal's mic picking up his drinking noises

two emo boys being emo

"no, I'm alone" "no, I AM"

Dragon Zoom

"dad went out for a gold hoard"

I need the "bleh" noise from naruto abridged put over grog there

"she did [the reverb] herself, just with her voice"

flashbacks to early c1 when laura had to leave early for an audition and sam was making fun of her for where it was

"isn't this fun, watching tv with my frien - oh shit I have a job"

oh, fearne is on sam's shirt

travis how does the lavalier jabbing you in the neck like that not bother you. it's bothering me second-hand

"these are things people have told me about tripping out"

no I hate this

I'm so glad they didn't do this sdlkfjsl

bury it in the new mexico desert

"maybe we'll use it in the future!" "no, no I don't think we will"

I stepped away but I had my headset on so I got to hear "daddy garmelie" and I don't like it

The Nipples Are Implied

Bondage Keyleth

"vax in the knot" is an entirely different part of the fandom

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT thought she was gonna say "hey taliesin speaking of penises"

I was gonna say, taliesin that's you, you're the nerd who went to japan

The Criticalrole

"that's so much worse than in my head, I wanna do it again"

"see….seven characters is a lot to draw"

animators: pls kill someone

the little drama play that just went on in the back row

mica is gonna bully them into singing again

he's definitely never heard that one before

EPISODE 8

look I know he's friends with like two thirds of the cast but also: why

this entire operation is a shambles

oh I stand corrected, that's NOT sam. iphone brandon auman (?) sounds very much like sam

did this man just use "exotic" to describe a human person

edit from the future: a NIGERIAN human person, x2 Please Leave

lmao owlbear is still copyrighted

the fonz!

I also deeply enjoyed the backlight

"she's got issues! you got issues!"

mica saying all the shit I said in my liveblog like eight hours ago

a minor crisis happened in my house but honestly fuck it, I have not been enjoying any of this

imagine: we could have had liam in this watch party

"the scream I scrumpt" s a m e

I appreciate those leaf wipe transitions so much more now

troy baker also did not realize how long it takes to get to the cast, it gets me every time

no no let him leave

"we! are! professionals!"

that! that! that thing I said! god thank you for validating me cast of legend of vox machina

(check my individual episode liveblogs, true believers!)

"how much bernie sanders do we want?"

"EVERYONE in the trickfoot family" he said pointedly into the camera

"thanks for making everything feel worse" truer words

I love all of those

Phantom String

taliesin just casually creating character and world lore mid-game it's fine

EPISODE 9

oh thank god he's gone

matt's not here to sing with the intro, everybody else has to

PALETTE cleanser

I saw chris in the credits, did NOT catch him here

I am upset with myself

grog is canonically a swiftie

"vox machina muppet babies" PRINT IT

oh THAT'S what that was, I thought I was just not remembering something from campaign 1

SHE

Cute Cat Babies

kittenari

"everyone was fantastic this season" as opposed to last season

grgreagrandfather

I'm crying againnnn

animators cried over goop monster, confirmed

cries in digital artist

if a dragon wore pants how would he wear them

"if your skin peels back when you hear it, it's taliesin"

Evil Falcor

"DOES JET FUEL MELT STEEL BEAMS"

does dragon acid melt metal hands

"horrible father" "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, LAURA"

"there were so many pigs!" "and now they're bacon"

I have appreciated all of the animation so much this season, the color and the light and the aaahhhh

I like pike's little turn on "wwwwhat do you mean"

someone confirm if the guy in the back is supposed to be pipsqueak from atla

"the saddest cannonball"

the toothpick barricades!!

oh shit that's right the last episodes are in like two days

"using blender" the overwatch porn program?

I have something bouncing around my head about how pike and wilhand let grog learn how to be silly but I haven't been able to words it

sketchy pike and groooog

sketchy grog's little hip jut

it's me I'm questions

"because it's cute" is a completely valid answer

I think I commented on matt's jaw dislocating in my original liveblog lmao

"is this gonna kill the animators??"

Grog For Scale

OH WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED THE BEAR TATTOO

…and what happened to the bear tattoo

I feel like sam needs a nap

like mood but also someone let this man sleep

oh no he broke arthur

mica's leaving. mica's just gonna walk out.

all the herdspeople wear collars to hide where the neck seam meets the body

"just say yes"

The Button Arc

wasn't that a veth thing

ashley trying desperately to keep up with sam

"I don't know what I just saw, it doesn't make much sense"

oh good lord

I've said this before but if I would love to hear Sam sing without being a goober

dflksdjfslk

laura breaks IMMEDIATELY

and made NO attempt to try to bring it back

"that's as close to top gun as life is ever gonna get"

"why am I getting southern. you guys have tainted me."

ooh, phil bourassa! there were ostensibly other names in there, I was just typing and didn't hear them.

#crititag #lovmtag #critical role #the legend of vox machina #liveblog #reaction post #spoilers #watch party

6 notes · View notes

fiveisnumber1 · 4 years

Text

Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader

Word Count: 3828

Warnings: None

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23

_________________________

Pt 11 - Lost In The Past

You didn't know how long it had been since you started crying but there came a point where you could cry no more. The tears no longer fell and your screams were nothing more than gasps of air. You felt empty like every last bit of emotion inside you was just released into the hollow house. Wiping the tears from your eyes you felt a gentle hand stroke your hair.

"There there, why don't we go get you some food to eat? You must be hungry after all that crying." Grace says

You turn your head to look at her and give her a small nod. Grace extends her hand to help you stand from the floor and when you stand she wraps an arm around you, guiding you to the kitchen. Sitting you down at the kitchen table, Grace starts to cook while you try to come to terms with your new reality. You had so many questions and yet you weren't sure if you had the words to vocalize them.

"Grace?" You call

"Hm?" She replies

"What happened since I've been gone?" You question softly

"Well George W. Bush served as president until 2008 when Barack Obama was elected to the presidency. The company Apple invented the iPhone in 2007 which revolutionized technology by giving phones touch screens. Youtube, Facebook, and other social media platforms grew to international success during the time you were gone. The-" Grace replies but you cut her off

"No, I mean...what happened here?" You say

Grace stops cooking for a second and turns to you.

"Oh. Well, you and Five went missing on the same day eleven years ago and things were never quite the same. Your disappearances took a toll on both your family and ours. I remember that about three years after you left, your parents packed up and moved to wherever they went. They were so distraught and I don't blame them it's very difficult to lose a child. I recall that back then Diego really tried his best to track them down in case you ever came back."

"What happened to Diego? And the others?"

"Diego left the house right when he turned eighteen, and Vanya, Klaus, and Allison left shortly thereafter which happened about six or so years ago. Luther stayed but now he's up on the moon doing some important research for Mr. Hargreeves!"

"You forgot about Ben." You state

"Oh right...Ben. Ben died on a mission in 2006. I don't know if you saw in the courtyard but there's a memorial statue for him there."

"He died?" You reply shocked

Grace nods.

"Yes and that was the straw that broke the camel's back, after you and Five went missing, and Ben's death, the rest of the children had no desire to stay in the house. It's difficult having to lose all your children one by one..." Grace states before putting on a chipper voice "Anyway here's a grilled cheese sandwich!"

"Oh." You say surprised at her quick shift of emotion "Uh, thank you."

"No problem (Y/N). Feel free to walk around the house and if you need anything else just ask! I'll be in the laundry room." Grace says before leaving

As she exits the kitchen and heads upstairs to the laundry room, you stare at the grilled cheese before pushing the plate away and putting your face in your hands. Everything felt like it was moving at a million miles per hour and you couldn't make it stop. You needed to get your mind off of things. Lifting you head out of your hands you stand up and grab your sandwich off the plate and walk towards a calendar on the kitchen wall. It read November 22nd, 2013. You shook your head and decided to leave the room. Strolling out of the kitchen and around the Umbrella Academy, you look at paintings of the former academy members. With each painting, the number of kids grew less and less as if time was making them disappear. You continue to walk around as you eat your sandwich taking in the empty sights. Passing different rooms, memories replayed in your mind so strongly that it was like you were right there in them again. You could practically see and hear the Hargreeves kids running down the halls and fighting with each other in those dumb uniforms they used to wear but you knew those experiences were just in your mind. This building had become a haunted house filled with the ghosts of past memories that would never come back. Looking outside at the snowy scene you decide to brave the elements and head out to the courtyard. This time instead of frantically looking for signs of life you take in the sight of death. You make your way over to the statue of what looks to be an older version of Ben. The statue has a solemn look on its face as it looks down on you.

"I guess you're the only one left here." You comment to the statue

You got no response. You didn't expect one but it was worth a shot. You looked down at the pedestal the statue was on and read the epitaph.

May the darkness within you find peace in the light

You wrote that to him in the journal you gave him for all of your 13th birthdays. Things really had changed while you were gone. With the cold starting to set in, you head back inside and go stand in the parlor next to the fireplace. Looking up at the painting of Five once more, a mix of emotions started churning inside you. Anger, grief, confusion, hurt. All of them overwhelmed you.

"You know this is all your fault Five." You start to rant to the painting "If you hadn't gotten mad about whatever it was you were mad about neither of us would be in this situation."

You pace back and forth in front of the fireplace, your feelings of hurt and anger growing stronger like the flames before you. You continue to yell louder at the painting in front of you,

"Oh leave me alone (Y/N) you wouldn't get it. Bullshit! Do you see what you've done? Look at me! I have no family, no home, no friends, nothing because of you and your stupid superiority complex! All of it is gone! Do you hear me?"

By this point, you were actively staring down the painting, pointing and screaming at it,

"I HAVE NOTHING! NOTHING BECAUSE OF YOU! I LOST EVERYTHING AND THAT INCLUDES MY BEST FRIEND! HOW DARE YOU FIVE! HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Child, yelling at the painting is not going to console your grief." You hear a voice say from behind you

Turning around you find Mr. Hargreeves to be standing there.

"Why do you keep the painting up then?" You retort crossing your arms

"I keep it up to remember the boy." he answers, "I told him not to mess with time travel but he refused to listen."

"He thought he was better than everyone." You comment

"He thought he was better than most people, not all, but most." Reginald replies "Now if you're going to be staying here there are going to be rules that you need to follow."

"Who said I was staying here?" You remark

"You have other accommodations?" He questions

You let out a huff.

"No." you reply annoyed

It was true, you had nowhere else to go and this was probably your only chance of having a home of sorts. You heard the stories of what it was like to live with Reginald and although you didn't want to, you knew that you had no other choice.

"Very well. I will have Pogo inform you of the daily schedule of eating, training, and studying."

"Slow your roll old man, training?" you question raising an eyebrow

"Of course. To develop your powers." He responds blankly

"Listen, if I'm going to live here and have to deal with your rules then I have some conditions. First, I will train my powers and let you research them but do NOT expect me to put on a little uniform and become the only member of the second class of the Umbrella Academy. That's not happening. Second, if you want me to learn something it will wait until the weekend because during the week I want to go to school. Third, I have autonomy of where I go both inside and outside this house. I am not going to live my life solely in one bedroom. Do I make myself clear?" You demand

"I see time hasn't dulled that sharp tongue and insolent attitude of yours." Reginald remarks

"Well what eleven years is to you has been like two hours to me." you retort

"Fine. I agree with your conditions and the schedule will be adjusted accordingly but you MUST stick to it and the house rules or I will not tolerate your requests further." Reginald replies

"Deal." You state curtly

"I'll have Grace deal with your living accommodations. Now keep quiet."

"One more thing. You got his eyes wrong, they're a brighter blue." You say gesturing to the painting of Five

Reginald turns to walk away and you flop down on the couch. This is not what you expected when you woke up that morning...eleven years ago. All of it was still so surreal and you didn't know what to do. So you did nothing, you just laid on the couch staring at the ceiling silently and let the world pass by as it had done already. You didn't notice how much time had gone by until you heard Grace call out,

"(Y/N)!"

"I'm here." You reply sitting up from the couch

"Mr. Hargreeves told me that you're going to be staying with us. I'm so happy to hear that! Now I have the pleasure of being able to take care of you too!" She says happily "Let's get you situated!"

Grace and you walk upstairs and into the hall that housed the former rooms of the children.

"You can pick whichever room you want!" Grace explains "Allison's room is all set up in terms of having girlier items, and Vanya's room is smaller but it's barren so you can decorate it however you want! Luther and Ben's rooms are super organized! We can always redo Klaus or Diego's rooms and there's always Fi-"

"I'll take a look at the rooms and let you know." You quickly shoot out

Grace gives you a slightly shocked look before smiling and saying,

"Oh alright, I'm going to make dinner then. Just let me know before bedtime so I can get some clean sheets for you."

You didn't mean to cut off Grace but Five's room was the only room you didn't check earlier. Going in there wasn't something you were prepared to do right now and it definitely wasn't the one you were going to stay in. It would hurt too much, not only because of all the memories made in there but because it looked right across at your old room which was now frozen in time. Passing the closed door of Five's room you walk down the hall and carefully examine all the other options. You saw that Allison and Luther had two of the largest rooms, and you were surprised you couldn't find a hole cut in their shared wall to secretly enter each others. Nevertheless, Luther had only left recently so you didn't want his room and Allison's room had too much of her stuff in it and you knew even with rearranging you couldn't make it feel like your own. Making your way down the hall you saw Vanya's barren room but decided against it because it was too small. Klaus' room was too messy even though he hadn't been there for years and you felt weird about staying in Ben's room since it was still his when he passed away. All that was left was Diego's room. It wasn't as large as Luther or Allison's but it wasn't as small as Vanya's. You still felt a little awkward about taking it but out of all the options it was the best choice. Hearing a bell ring you went down to the dining room for dinner. Mr. Hargreeves was already there standing behind his seat at the head of the table. You stood behind the seat at the opposite head.

"Sit." He commanded

You sat down and Grace dished out food for both you and Mr. Hargreeves. The dinner was silent, the only sounds were that of the silverware clanking against your plates. When finished you excused yourself from the table. As you were walking away Grace asked,

"Did you pick a room?"

"Ah yes, I'll be staying in Diego's room." You answer

"Well it's not Diego's room anymore silly, it's yours! I'll go get some fresh sheets for the bed."

As you head to Diego's room you quickly get an idea to try and make the room more of your own. Transporting yourself to your old room you grab three items before transporting yourself back to the academy. As you approach Diego's room with the items in your arms you see that Grace had finished making the bed. Entering, you place the items on the desk. The diary replica that your parents gave you, the music box, and the teddy bear that Five gave you. It wasn't much but the items comforted you. Putting on a pair of pajamas you got ready for bed. As you pulled the bedsheets down Grace appeared behind you in the doorway and said,

"Goodnight (Y/N), sleep well."

She started to walk away when you called out,

"Grace?"

"Yes (Y/N)?" she replies

"Do you- do you think you could tuck me in?"

You saw as her expression was both happy and sad in a way. Like there was a piece missing that you somehow filled with that question.

"Of course," She replied a smile coming on to her face

You got into the bed and Grace happily tucked you in. Pulling the covers a top of she couldn't help but feel a sense of completeness that she lost years ago. The house had been so empty since all the kids left, but now she had someone to take care of and although the circumstances were less than great for you she wanted to make sure that she could give you the best. Quietly, she turned the light off and closed the door so you could fall asleep.

After that day the Hargreeves house had become your home. Over the next month, you moved most of your stuff from your old room to your new one. Having your stuff helped to make the transition easier although it also made you miss your past. To pass the time, you religiously wrote in the replica diary about each day but instead of writing dear diary for each entry, you wrote Dear Five. You hoped that if he came back one day you could give him the diary to read about what you were up to so it was like he was always there with you. With some help, you got enrolled in school but wouldn't start until after winter break. Even as you settled into the routine of training and living, you still felt all the emotions that you had that first day. You knew you wouldn't get over them immediately but you wished you had a better outlet. Going to Grace one day you asked her,

"Grace, do you have any ideas on how to get these negative feelings out in a healthy way? I know they won't go away but I'm hoping I can make them less strong."

"Hmm. Well if you put the energy that you spend on those feelings into different activities it might help. You could play the piano again or you can take up a physical sport. I heard boxing is really good for taking negative energy out." Grace responds "Actually I think there is a boxing club in the area. How about you check it out tomorrow?"

"Alright, I can try that. Do you think they're open though, it is Christmas Eve." You reply

"If my knowledge is correct, this one is open 365 days a year." Grace replies

You nodded and once you had figured out where it was you put on exercise clothes. Grace bundled you up in a warm jacket and with that, you walked your way over to the boxing club. Entering you approached a desk where an old man sat.

"Hi, I'd like to learn to box." You say

"You're a little small to learn, don't you think?" He replies

"I have a hundred dollars that say I'm not too small." You state holding up the bill

"Can't argue with that." The old man says taking the cash

He escorts you over to a punching bag.

"Wait here, I'll get you someone to teach you." He says before turning his attention "Hey Kraken, get your ass over here. I need you to teach this kid."

Slowly a man steps out of the boxing ring where he was practicing and walks over to where you and the old man are. The old man walks away as the younger man takes off his gear. He says,

"Hey, I'm-"

But he stops abruptly. The man just stares at you blankly.

"Are you okay?" You ask

"Sorry, you look like someone I used to know." He says

Something about this man felt familiar but you couldn't place it. The man sticks out his hand to shake yours. You go to shake it but when you look down at his wrist he has an all too familiar marking there, a tattoo of an umbrella in a circle. You look at the tattoo before looking up again at the man and start to recognize the features of the boy you used to know, now all grown up.

"Diego?" you question softly

"H-h-how did you know my name?" He stutters

"I knew it because you do know me. It's me, (Y/N)," you reply softly

You can see the confusion on his face turn into a softer expression. Although it might not have been evident to his other siblings, Diego was a deeply emotional person and you saw that exact look you were seeing in his eyes many times before when you two were younger.

"No. It can't be. You look exactly the same, you should be my age" He questions, the emotion on his face becoming more evident

"Accidentally traveling through time will do that to you. Please you have to believe me Eggo." You begged

He was having doubts that it was truly you but that all went away when you called him that name. It was a dumb nickname you gave him when one time Luther refused to let go of him. You kept exclaiming "let go my eggo" as you tried to use your powers to get Luther off. No one else but you ever knew of that. Tears formed in Diego's eyes but quickly after he wrapped his arms around you and picked you up.

"Hey everyone! My sister is back! We thought she went missing but she's back!" Diego exclaims to the people in the boxing club

There are some cheers and congratulations shouted from across the gym as Diego puts you back down. For so long he hoped that you would come back and now here you were like a Christmas miracle. You were more like a sibling to him in the short amount of time he knew you than his own siblings were. Instead of learning to box the two of you talked. You explained everything that you had gone through and your current living situation. He didn't like that you were living in that house with his father but he knew that he didn't have the means to house you nor properly take care of you. One thing he did know is that he was going to make sure that after all this misery you could have a better life. Even though time had gone on and he was older now you were still like a sister to him but now you were his little sister and he was determined to protect you from any harm the world might throw your way. He was going to be the best older brother he could be to you and make sure that you would not have to face the life he did.

And so for the next five years, Diego was there for every important moment in your life, always trying to support you and make it better. He dropped you off on your first day of school when spring semester rolled around and every first day after. He went to every piano recital you had and sat front row. When there was a father-daughter dance fundraiser he went to make sure you weren't alone. He trained you and coached you in boxing and was there for every single match. He planned a huge sweet 16 birthday party using what money he had. He was the one who took you on your first college visits when you were 17. He took time out of his days to practice working on your powers. For everything, he was there and on top of that, he regularly took you out of the house to spend time with you. You were his little sister, his true sister and he wanted you to know it.

Along with everything Diego did for you, you were grateful for some of the things you had gotten in the Hargreeves house. After about a year or so you stopped calling Grace by her name and started to call her mom. If androids could cry tears of joy Grace would have the first time that word left your mouth. Pogo had convinced Reginald to get you a piano play and in an odd act of kindness, he did. Along with that, your powers developed greatly under the supervision of Reginald and Pogo. You were able to do more in terms of manipulating the molecules in the world around you and were able to start seeing disturbances in them as well. Life wasn't perfect but through the years it got easier. But although you were growing up and trying to move on with your life, even after all those years Five never left your mind for a second. You missed him greatly and hated that the last words the two of you shared were ones of anger. You wondered if he was still mad at you. Each moment of every day Five still consumed your mind and you hoped that wherever he was, in another time and place, that he was doing okay and that one day he would come back to you.

Check out the side story here:

The Missing Five Years - “Lost In The Past” Side story

Taglist: @xplrreylo @joebob15274 @insatiable-ivy @fruitsaladtree @angelpeachamber @academy-umbrella @lizziel1410 @ir3neeee @faith-quake @aliens-with-colas @eddiomyspaghettio @lady-celeste25 @im-dead-and-hurting @nerdypinupcrystal @cherry-ki-d @anapocalypseinmymind @vicassa @2cuteforyourlies @taylorsmakingfuckingmacandcheese @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson @shadowycreationcupcake @macaroni-mads @metor-showers1994 @fivehargreevesforthewin @rinko-san @supernovavision @cicilisthebest @flickbix @hi-v-juice @magykal-777 @zosiaduda

336 notes · View notes

in-superbloom · 3 years

Text

8 songs, 8 rules (or something)

RULES: 8 song prompts & tag 8 people

hai hai so @bandsanitizer tagged me to do this lil fun game so here we are <3 alison i can't explain how much i love opportunities to talk about my music so pls just feel the soul crushing hug i'm sending you right now 💜

also i'm completely incapable of choosing only one thing for anything ever – let alone music, so enjoy this catalogue of all over the place songs with a lot of unsolicited commentary <3 also all links are from spotify because i don't support iphone supremacy <3

anna from the future came to say: this got way too long, so i'll put it under the cut & i'm sorry in advance if you're reading this and pls know you don't have to read it at all, i won't blame you 👁👄👁

1. favorite song at the moment.

oh man. gotta say starting line by our resident sad boi hemmo ofc. it hasn't left my head since i first listened to it & i'm honestly still digesting it 🥺 but also ! can't not mention my main men <3 wrecked by imagine dragons also just came out and already managed to give me way too many breakdowns which is completely uncalled for but i can't complain 💜

2. a song you associate with your favorite ship.

which one 👁👄👁 i have so many favorite ships that i just stopped keeping track of them lmao but like, i don't really know? i used to associate songs with ships a LOT when i was younger but it's been a while since i did it. so let me check.

oh boy okay, alison mentioned glee which reminded me of klaine and the amount of love i have for these stupid lil gay men. the song that immediately stands out for me is teenage dream (acoustic) which yes it's the katy perry song but like. big big sad. i literally can't listen to it without wanting to cry. if you know the context, you know. and if you do, i'm sorry </3 this is not my absolute favorite ship ever but it's the one i relate with music the most, so let's leave it there or else this will get way too long lmao but also ! all you need is love 💖

3. a song that could be about you.

ehhh i have a whole playlist of these. like. over 100 songs. so let me pick 😌 okay there's too many so let me list them or else i'll end up talking too much about each one:

hear me - imagine dragons (13-years-old me cried over this on a weekly basis no joke) // clean - taylor swift (no link bc we're waiting for the taylor's version) // my kind - alessia cara // body - julia michaels // matter of time (interlude) - ashton irwin // memórias - pitty bc this woman singlehandedly built half of my personality so i gotta mention her <3

4. a song that you think is underrated.

look i might make a whole playlist for this someday, but for now i'll list artists that i think are underrated with my current favorite song from them:

honest - mali-koa // bardot - raffaella // i like myself (most of the time) - k.flay // get high - herizen // breaking my bones - friday pilots club

and honestly? my man ashton irwin does not get enough credit for the masterpiece that is superbloom and i'll never shut up about it <3 i know 5sos is not really underrated but i think we all know how things would play out if/when all the boys release a solo album, and we're getting a taste of that now, so yeah. gotta praise my main man <3

5. a song that reminds you of a good memory.

very unsurprisingly there isn't many for this category bc unfortunately my brain mainly associates songs with bad moments in my life 🥴 however, i will say more than words by extreme bc it reminds me of my babe/soulmate/love of my life @bluesdelis and of the best month of my life hands down. not much context for this one bc it's too damn special and personal but it's our song™ so yeah <3 (but i also almost put the glee version <3 love you tho 😌🖤)

6. the last song you listened to.

brutal - olivia rodrigo, shocking i know 😌 it was playing from my disco cowgirl playlist while i showered <3

7. a song that makes you laugh.

at this point almost anything from glee, especially if it's from season 4-5 lmao (why glee won't leave my head, alison this is your fault) but i already talked about them so let's go with don't phunk with my heart by the black eyed peas bc this song is absolutely ridiculous & i love it 💖

8. A song you want your mutuals to listen to.

all of the songs mentioned above <3 😌 but let me leave one from my new favorite band (thank you kaykay): hush - the marías ❤ so in love with this album 🥺

tagging: @bluesdelis @suchalonelysunflower @wastelandcth @ijustdontlikepeople @mulletcal @littledrummerangie @aintmyjewelry @talkfastromance4 💜 (i have no idea at all of who already did this so i'm sorry if you have !! but if you haven't, no pressure at all !! <3 and if you see this & wanna do it then i'm tagging you 😌 pls do it & tag me bc i love to take a peak at people's personality through their music <3)

also if you've read all of this? i love the shit out of you 💜 and i'm sending you the warmest hug and a tender forehead kiss 😚💓 here have a candy too 🍬

#oooof okay #this took some work but i freaking loved it #people should not give me the power to talk freely about music bc i won't ever stop 😌#thank you so so so much alison 💜#this feels like i'm showing my whole soul online so like !!!#but i really love talking about this so <3 #anyways #tag games #anna talks music #about anna #my lil 🐢🖤#music #think that's all #can you tell i have a libra mercury ! i could've never guess that 🥴#i'm sorry i know i talk too much but no this is not gonna change <3 #tagged #music games #alison <3

13 notes · View notes

patrick-hockstutter · 4 years

Text

Modern!Bowers Gang:

Patrick:

Really into cinematography and photography of the unsettling

Never captions his Instagram posts

Goes live on Instagram a lot, even though people really wished he wouldn’t

Makes art out of dead animals or animal bones he finds

Think Banksy, but with roadkill

He’ll take some (somehow) tasteful photos of them, post them, then leave the scene there for some unexpecting bystander to find

Has a nosering (fight me)

Never uses incognito mode

If someone happens to stumble upon his search history, he’s not paying their therapy bill

He likes reading smut more than he likes watching porn

A ps4 guy

Loves spooky games like Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Until Dawn and Death Stranding

He’s not really into school, but he surprisingly reads a lot when he’s alone in his room

Only about things he likes though

Abnormal psych, criminal psych, and sometimes some zoology (u kno y)

Watches serial killer documentaries like he’s paid to

Listens to grunge, nu metal, and 80s alt

Won’t admit it, but sometimes listens to Joji

He’s not super into emo music, but he’s the only one who will listen to it with Victor (he fckn vibes to Brand New)

Ironically uses a Zune

Has an Android but lowkey wishes he had an iPhone

Doesn’t have a computer, just jailbreaks/hacks the school issued laptop

Has a black line tattooed around some of his fingers, one of his wrists, and the shell of his ear

Has a foot tattoo

Has a fucking Juul

Watches LeafyIsHere on YouTube (tell me I’m wrong)

Spends too much time on Reddit

Wears flannels, skinny jeans, and Vans (a beanie if he’s cold)

Mostly cycles through the same three or four outfits

Wears the same pair of Vans every single day

Victor:

Big into aromatherapy

He uses lavender soaps and has an essential oil diffuser in his room

Uses incognito mode to watch Vampire Diaries

A Nintendo ass b i t c h

He has the gray Switch Lite

He brings his Switch with him everywhere (yes he’s that guy)

But what else are you gonna do when you wanna ignore Patrick?

Watches conspiracy theories about ghosts, cryptids, and aliens

Also big into podcasts (mostly true crime and conspiracy ones)

He listens to them on his headphones while he takes walks or draws

Posts his drawings on Tumblr

Does art streams on Twitch when he gets really bored

Has an eyebrow piercing (but it’s a small stud one, not a ring)

Has little tattoos on his hands

Wears bomber jackets, skinny jeans, joggers, army jackets, converse, and combat boots

The boy has style okay

Had an emo phase but still listens to the music (especially Tiny Moving Parts)

The emo phase was pretty short because Henry made fun of him so much

He just fucking liked MCR and Taking Back Sunday a lot, okay?

And Pierce The Veil and Sleeping With Sirens, but he doesn’t readily admit that

Now mostly listens to new wave, synth pop, and lofi hiphop

His favorite bands are Drab Majesty and Choir Boy (look up their new album btw)

Has a black iPhone and a space gray MacBook Pro

Uses Apple Music

Vapes, but only fruity flavors

Watches BoJack Horseman

Doesn’t really eat fast food but never passes up an M&M McFlurry

Paints his (and Patrick’s) nails black

One time Patrick caught him doing a facemask, so Patrick put one on and started chasing him around screaming as a joke

Cue: hmm… this feels kinda good tho

So now Victor and Patrick have secret mini spa days

Drives a Subaru

Belch:

Makes Spotify playlists like he’s paid to

He’s just really good at putting songs together

He tried to get into music theory, but he wasn’t one for actually making his own songs

Really into metal (obvi) but also likes some classic rock and punk stuff

Has records hung up side by side all around his room where the wall meets the ceiling

Still buys CDs

His Instagram feed is full of vintage cars and custom import cars

Fast and Furious is his favorite movie series

His favorite shows are Sons of Anarchy and The Walking Dead

But he also loves early 2000s comedies

Has a mini projector to watch movies on his room wall

Wears band tees, flannels, jean jackets, Carhartt stuff, d a d h a t s

Really wants a tattoo but always gets nervous

Uses incognito mode to watch porn and buy some of his band tees from Hot Topic

Only one in the gang that uses Facebook (Mama Huggins made him so he could keep in contact with family)

Follows a few meme pages but also some cooking ones so he can send his mom any cool recipes he finds

Victor lowkey makes fun of him for actually using the Facebook page

Invests money in really good headphones and car speakers

Has a black iPhone

It’s always at 20% battery cause it’s always connected to his headphones, Bluetooth speaker, or car stereo

Him and Victor FaceTime when they’re bored

Sometimes they won’t even say much, they just like the over the phone company

Doesn’t smoke, but sometimes hits Vic’s vape

A social vaper if you will

Watches Idubbbz and Filthy Frank on YouTube

His favorite fast food place is Wendy’s

Not really into video games but fucking slays at Guitar Hero

And when Rock Band came out nobody saw him for like two weeks

Has a black Hydroflask with band stickers on it

Henry:

He plays a lot of Xbox

Mostly Halo, COD, Destiny, any first-person shooter really

Baits people on Xbox Live cause he thinks it’s hilarious

He’s also a fucking cyberbully but we all expected that

Has Victor’s old iPhone

Never fucking charges it

He’ll text you back in 3-5 business days (if at all)

And if you try to call him he’ll block your number

Plays iMessage games like cup pong and 8 ball with Belch

The only social media he uses is Snapchat and Tinder to look at girls

In one of his Tinder photos he’s holding a fish (srrynotsrry)

Doesn’t really listen to too much music

He doesn’t dislike music, just usually prefers to do things in silence

His mind is chaotic enough, he doesn’t need background noise

But he will listen to Cigarettes After Sex and TV Girl on a really low volume when he goes to sleep

Uses incognito mode to pick and choose random soft or angsty songs that he likes to put into a bedtime playlist

Otherwise just listens to whatever Belch listens to

Has a tattoo on his wrist

Takes a lot of drives into the countryside/national forests/mountains with Belch

Takes a lot of scenery photos, but never posts them anywhere or shows anyone except Victor

Still smokes cigarettes (he thinks vaping is douchey)

Watches South Park and American Dad

If he’s willing to spend money to go see a movie, he’s going to an IMAX theater

Sometimes he likes 3D, but most of the time it just hurts his eyes after a while

Longboards everywhere

Needs prescription glasses but refuses to wear them

They’re mostly for reading, which he doesn’t do anyway

But he does listen to audiobooks sometimes

Likes Frappuccinos but will kill you before you find out

He orders them through Uber Eats under a fake name so nobody will find out

BONUS: all four!

Victor still has his childhood GameCube that they play Mario Party, Mario Kart, and Melee on

Henry is banned from playing Mario Party after breaking a controller while beating Patrick with it

Patrick only ever picks Waluigi in Mario Kart and everyone is sick of it

When they play Rock Band Patrick is on bass, Henry plays guitar, Belch absolutely slays the drums, and Vicky boy sings his lil heart out

One night a week they order a shit ton of Dominos and make a drinking game out of watching Vine compilations

Victor does everyone’s birth charts

They collectively made a fake Tinder account on Patrick’s phone and catfish guys with it

They all try to one up each other doing vape tricks yikes

They buy bags of chips and candy from Costco and lounge around eating them on weekends

They’re banned from the city metro busses because Belch’s car was in the shop for a week and that week was hell for every bus driver in the city

264 notes · View notes

jaehyunspeachparty · 4 years

Text

daddy jaehyun

ii.xxv. (a)

Every pregnancy is different. You have already experienced this and every pregnancy was magical in its own way. You liked to be pregnant, even if it's tough from time to time, but you can't imagine anything more romantic. You carry a part of your big love inside you.

Week 8

"Good morning my angel, today we will see you for the first time." Jaehyun strokes the bare skin of your little belly. He kisses your ball and repeats this a few more times. "I thought we should tell Miga tonight that she will get a new brother or sister. I haven't been able to hide my pregnancy for a long time and she's too smart." You laugh and stroke your stomach too. You stay like this for a while and enjoy it. You would like to lock yourself in with him here and never get out. "I'm nervous. I haven't been out in a long time." It was just a difficult period. You were suddenly in the media and it was reported about you. Since Suji spread the rumor that Miga is the daughter of Doyoung. SM published the paternity test two days later, which testified that Jaehyun is the father. But some still feel for spreading hatred. Some fans went so far and waited in front of your apartment to insult you. The last week was hell and it was so stressful. The nausea of pregnancy made this all not easier. "It’s okay. I’m with you." Jaehyun sits up and gives you a kiss. Jaehyun brought Miga to kindergarten and Sunoh to Johnny. Then he picks you up and you drive to the gynecologist together. Jaehyun was almost more excited than you and couldn't wait to see the scan. It was the most positive thing you were looking for. He was thinking all the time about how to tell Miga the good news. He was sure that she would be happy. She was sometimes jealous of Sunoh, but she was a good big sister and Jaehyun was so proud of her. You didn't have to wait long when you were at the gynecologist and the doctor started immediately with the ultrasound. Jaehyun stood by you and held your hand. The doctor puts the gel on your stomach and starts the scan. "Do you know what week you are in?" The doctor looked at the screen and you start counting. "I should be in week 8." You also look at the screen and try to recognize something. "Hmmm..." The doctor examined you further and you got a little restless. You look nervously at Jaehyun and he gently strokes your hand. "I can't see much yet. It may be that the embryo was implanted later. The amniotic cavity is there, but I would like to have you there again for control in two weeks. How else do you feel?" The doctor put the device aside and cleaned you up again. "I fell pretty sick and am quite tired." You pull your shirt down and sit up. "I'll prescribe something for you." You nod and get up. Jaehyun looks at you a little worried and you turn to your doctor. "Should we be concerned?" You take Jaehyun's hand firmly and squeeze it tightly. "Not yet. I can only tell you more in two weeks. Then we'll see if the fetus has grown." She smiled and handed you your prescription. "Ms. Jung, you should definitely avoid stress. I'll send you the ultrasound by email and we'll see you again at the next appointment." Her voice was very calm and you knew you might be worrying too much.

"Wow, I thought we'd be happier when we get out of here." Jaehyun was sitting on the driver's side of your car, looking into the void. You lean to the side and also don't know what to think. You also hoped to get home with more positive news. "I mean, everything looks fine. Maybe the baby is just small." You sigh and stroke your stomach. There was no point in worrying too much now because you didn’t know the answer anyway ...

Week 9

Jaehyun wasn't been focused at all the last week. He and you were still in the media because of Suji and he was worried about you and the child. Since you didn't tell anyone that you were pregnant, Jaehyun couldn't talk to anyone. Most of the time, when someone asked him, he always said it was about Suji. Again and again, he looked at the ultrasound picture to be able to recognize something. "Everything okay?" His manager came to him because he realized that something was wrong. Jaehyun closed the picture and nodded. "Sorry, my phone has something. I need to check my mail urgently. Can I use yours?" Jaehyun nodded absently and handed him his iPhone. "Hey, is everything really okay?" Jungwoo sat next to him and he knew there was more. "Yes, it's just a lot of everything right now." Jaehyun sighed and leaned back. "But if you need someone to talk to, let me know okay?" Jungwoo looked seriously at his friend and Jaehyun was just happy to know that his friends were there for him. But he couldn't wait to get home to hug you and your children. He felt cheated by so many things and he wanted to lock himself at home with you, Miga and Sunoh. You were the only people he could still trust. When he was home, Miga was already asleep. He sat down to her and stroked her head. Her breath was so sweet and sometimes she muttered something and Jaehyun had to smile and wondered what she was dreaming about. Cujo was lying next to his daughter. The two had a very close bonding. Miga took good care of the dog and Cujo was always by her side. He kissed her forehead and looked into Sunoh's room. He also slept soundly. Jaehyun also stroked his little head and watched him sleep for a while. He also kissed him and then came to you. You lie in bed and watch a little TV. You are trying to rest more recently. Johanna came over the last few days and helped you with the children and meanwhile a good friendship developed between you. "Hey. Are you okay?" He lay down in bed with you, gave you a kiss and hugged you. You snuggle up to him and nod. "Yes, now." You feel its warmth and close your eyes. He holds his hand on your stomach and you stay that way until you slowly fall asleep in his arms.

The next day was Sunday and you decide to start the day slowly. Jaehyun didn't have to go to the company and you sit comfortably at breakfast. Miga ate her pancakes and she was always happy when her father was with her. Jaehyun's phone rang but he ignored it. The phone continued to ring, but he muted it and then it was your phone. "Jaehyun, have a look. I think that's important." You sigh and your husband got up and looked at the display. He froze and slowly you became curious. "What's happening?" A thousand questions went through your head, but then you looked at your phone and suddenly you had several messages congratulating you on your pregnancy. "Why does everyone know about my pregnancy?" You look at Jaehyun in panic, but he didn't know what to say either. "Mummy has a baby in her belly again?" Miga looks back and forth. She was just too intelligent, and you couldn't hide anything from her anymore. "Yes, my little one, Mummy has a baby in her belly." He kissed her forehead but then sits down to you. "Dispatch leaked the ultrasound images." He showed you the article and you read everything through. It was without a doubt the ultrasound image was from the last exam. "Where did they get that from?" You were totally in panic and you didn't know what to do. "I have no idea." Jaehyun continued to stare at the article. At that moment you were totally done. You didn't even know for sure whether this child was alive and now everyone just knew that you were pregnant. "How could that happen?" Tears ran down your cheeks. "Hey, it'll be all right. Don't think too much, because you need to care for the baby." Jaehyun tried to gently stroke your stomach, but you were panicked. You couldn't just forget that. "Mummy don't cry." Miga came to you and put her arms around your lap. You stroke her head, but you couldn't stop crying. "There is definitely Suji behind it. Why can't she just leave us alone?" The tears on your cheeks couldn't stop. It was exactly what you wanted to avoid. How did Dispatch get these photos?

Week 10

You couldn't keep a secret that you were nervous. You had hardly slept the night. The past few days have been tough. That Dispatch was making your pregnancy public makes your life not easy. First the drama about Miga's fatherhood and then that. You and Jaehyun were the favorite topic in Korea right now. And since you or SM hadn't made a statement, many rumors came up. Reporters stood at your door, called. It was so busy that you even had to take Miga out of kindergarten for the week. It went so far that reporters and photographers waited in front of the kindergarten. But since other children of famous or important people also visited it, the management didn't want any more attention and it was better to take Miga out for a while.

Miga and Sunoh were with Johnny and Johanna today. Jaehyun promised to tell them more, but that you still had to clarify a few things. The couple totally understood this and asked no further questions. "Jaehyun I'm scared." You couldn't get out of the car. You didn't want to know, hear or see anything. You couldn’t get any bad news anymore. Your gynecologist ordered you to the clinic straight away because they had an early pregnancy unit there. Jaehyun put his hand on your thigh and looked at you. "No matter what happens. We can do it. I love you." His words meant everything to you at that moment. You summarize all your courage and get out of the car. You were quiet all the way, nobody said anything. You were nervous, afraid and you couldn't stand the tension anymore. You were taken to the examination room and your gynecologist immediately started with the ultrasound. Apparently, she could see your tension right away. You already knew all of this. The gel on your skin, the device on your stomach. The doctor looked at the screen and examined your inside. "Have you had bleeding in the past two weeks?" Her eyes were still on the screen. "No, nothing at all." You became more and more nervous and you feel how everything got darker in the room. "Has your nausea got worse?" You wonder why the doctor asked so many questions and suddenly you feel Jaehyun's hand tighten. "Yes, it is." Was it good or bad? You just wanted to know the answer. The doctor put the device aside, wiped off the gel and turned the chair towards you. "Mrs. Jung, I'm sorry. The fetus hasn't grown. I couldn't find a heartbeat. Even if the fertilization took place later, you should hear a heartbeat from now on." She sighed and put her hands together. You didn't know what to say. You look at Jaehyun, who also looked horrified at the doctor. "But I'm pregnant. My stomach has grown, I've vomited. I have no blood. I feel pregnant. I've had two pregnancies, I know how it feels." You didn't want to admit it. It couldn't be. You already had a little belly. You were sure that your baby had grown. "You have a missed miscarriage. This means that the fetus doesn't come off on its own. You feel all the symptoms and your belly grows because the body still believes it is pregnant because of the hormones." The doctor was so loving and tried to explain everything well, but you were so angry with her even though she wasn’t the reason for this. Your eyes became blurred and tears rose. It just couldn't be true. "But I ..." You lose your words and the first tear left you. "I know that everything is very uncomfortable, but I would still like to do the dilation and curettage today." The doctor takes something out of her desk and fills a glass of water. "What? Today?" Jaehyun finally found his words. "Yes. I have no appointments for the next two weeks and then it's too late. We have to do it quickly." She put the glass of water next to you and handed you a pill. "Is there a reason why that happened?" Jaehyun looked worried at the doctor. He didn't want it to be true. "There are many reasons. Miscarriages are somewhat normal. Every woman experiences this once, but most of the time they don't even notice it. Your wife's body was still weak from the last birth and factors such as stress can also count. But in the end, you didn’t know it." The doctor sighed and you finally took the pill in your hand. "Take this. It is important that the uterus softens. You will be taken to a room and then they will give you general anesthesia. I would like to keep you here for a few more hours, but you can go home then. I will leave you alone with it now, so you can speak about all of this." The doctor looked at you and went out of the room. When the doctor closed the door, you pulled your legs up to you and start crying bitterly. Your whole body ached, your heart broke in two pieces and you thought you would never get over this pain. Jaehyun came to you and hugged you. It was silent and the only thing left was the pain ...

Everything happened so fast. You came to the room and soon the anesthetic began. The procedure should only take 15 to 20 minutes. Jaehyun stayed with you all the time. He tried to distract you, but you were no longer yourself. "It will be alright." Jaehyun has your hand firmly in his. He kissed it and the nurse loosened the bed so they could push you into the operating room. "Jaehyun, I'm sorry." You didn't know what you were saying yourself, but you felt guilty. "What? No, everything is fine." He looked at you and the nurses led you away. And then suddenly the room was quiet. But he wasn't ready to allow his thoughts. He took his iPhone and chose Johnny's name. "Hey Jaehyun, is everything all right? Miga and Sunoh are fine." It was good to hear a friend's voice. "Johnny, can the kids stay with you for a few more hours?" Jaehyun didn't want to leave you alone. It already hurt so much, he couldn't imagine how you were doing now. "Yeah sure. I know I shouldn't ask questions, but are you okay?" Johnny sounded worried. "No. Y/N is being operated now." Jaehyun didn't know how to handle it all. "Hey, you know what. Miga is already very tired anyway and you gave us enough supply of milk for Sunoh. What if we take the children until tomorrow?" Jaehyun was grateful for his suggestion. "Thanks, Johnny. I appreciate that." "No problem." Until you finally come out of the operating room, he still talked with his daughter because he didn't want to be alone yet. But it wasn't long before they were brought back into the room. You haven't been with you yet. You lie semi-unconscious in bed and don't notice anything around you. Jaehyun could hardly stand this sight. He lay down in bed with you and waited until you came back to yourself. But even then, you were just an empty shell. After a few hours, the doctor came and there was another examination. You let it all go through you, but Jaehyun couldn't watch this all. He saw how it hurt you. But everything went well and the baby was fully removed. You got some informational materials and then Jaehyun took you home and put you to bed. He sat next to you and snuggled up to you. "It's my fault. I really wanted this child." It was the first words you spoke after the operation. "What? Don't say that." Jaehyun stroked your back and you place your head on his lap. "Even though everything was so risky, I thought it would work. I disappointed you. I failed, I'm so sorry." The pain was numb for a few hours, but now you feel your heart torn apart. This pain was so cruel. At that moment you didn't know how to continue living. At that moment you can only bear this pain. "You didn't fail and you didn't disappoint me." Jaehyun hurt all this, and he couldn’t believe that you think that he would be disappointed. "I'm so tired." You feel so weak and exhausted more and more. "Then sleep." You can feel him running his fingers through your hair. You close your eyes and you hear his voice.

“You don't know, babe When you hold me and kiss me slowly it's the sweetest thing…“

His voice was the only good thing of the day. You notice how you stop crying.

“…and it don't change if I had it my way you would know that you are”

His hands were so warm and his skin on yours felt so good.

“You're the coffee that I need in the morning You're my sunshine in the rain when it's pouring”

It was the last verse you had noticed before you fell asleep. And you dream in your sleep, but it wasn't actually a dream, more a memory that came back up. It was when your relationship was at a difficult point. There was no Sunoh, no Miga and you weren't married at this time. At that time you already had a miscarriage, only that it went off alone, like a normal menstrual period.

You thought there would be no future for you two anymore. You were back in your old little apartment in Seoul. Jaehyun was standing in front of you. He had just come into the apartment with his coat and shoes on. His eyes were desperate and hurt. "Why don't you talk to me anymore?" His hands were deep in his jacket pocket. He seemed nervous. "I have nothing more to say to you. Comfort yourself with all the pretty idols." You didn't want to talk at that moment. What you saw was enough. "That isn’t true and why do I have to find out from Sicheng that you are pregnant?" He went one step further to you. But you don't say you were frozen. You stare at him and try to find your word. "Do we have a baby?" Jaehyun put his hand on your upper arm and looked at you with concern. Your heart ached because you had lost so much in the few weeks. But his touch hurts and you pull your hand away immediately. "We are nothing, Jaehyun. The only thing that connected us is death. I lost it. Now go!"

You wake up from that memory and you were all sweaty. It was night, but Jaehyun wasn't next to you. You quickly feel painful cramps and quickly take a pill. But you hear soft music from the living room and when you looked at the clock you could see that it was 3 am. You slowly sneak out of the bedroom and see Jaehyun sitting on the couch. He was leaning against the backrest with a wine glass. You could see that the bottle was empty. And in his hands, he held the Fendi baby romper he had given you before. He was so excited about the new child. And when you got closer to him, you see that he was crying. His eyes were red and swollen. You were only focused on yourself. You had completely forgotten that he also received pain. You sit next to him and lean your head against his shoulder. "Thank you for being there for me." You stroke his hand by holding the Fendi baby romper. You stare at him for a while, but then Jaehyun tries to keep his composure. You had never seen him cry before and you didn't quite know how to handle it. "We should give it to Johnny and Johanna." He sighed and quickly drank his glass. But you're holding onto the fabric. "No. It was meant for him or her and it was your present for our angel." It's funny, you always talked about it being your angel and now it's come true. And when you said the words, Jaehyun leaned his forehead against yours. "I love you so much." You could see that he was drunk and you could also see his pain. But you put your hands in his face and look at him. "I love you so much too."

(a/n: I’m sorry - don’t hate me. Some of you have suspected it. But I planed this for a really long time)

daddy jaehyun masterlist

#jaehyun #daddy jaehyun #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun angst #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #nct #nct dad #nct angst #nct 127 imagines #nct imagines #nct 127 #nct 127 angst

231 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1227

survey by seaachange

Do you ever feel guilty after you masturbate? When I was younger, yeah. Not so much anymore.

What is the most you have ever weighed? I would guess I’ve passed the 100 lbs mark every now and then, so those times. I can’t seem to gain weight no matter how much I eat, though.

Would you ever work at McDonald's? I know nothing about food preparation/customer service/restaurant management, so it’s probably a no for me.

If you aren't already, would you go vegetarian or vegan? Yes, if we had more food/grocery options AND cheaper options. Having specific diets is an expensive endeavor here since it’s mostly still seen as a fad.

Are you an activist of any kind? I have my advocacies and I’m very vocal about them, but I wouldn’t call myself an activist. I think I should be doing more to be able to identify myself as one.

What do you think of feminism? Agree with it and I’ll always fight for it.

Have you ever done anything sexual with the same sex? Well I dated a girl for six years in total...

Are you a member of any dating sites? I used to have Bumble on my phone after my friends’s prodding, but I deleted it like a week ago after it’s been just sitting on my phone for months. I used it for...I wanna say only two days? and it was just for an ego boost after my breakup since it felt nice to see people click match on me lmao. I never entertained any of them, though.

Coolest person you've ever met? Probably my uncle Rob.

Have you ever gone to a strip club? I’ve never gone inside one, actually. That’d be nice to experience at least once.

If not, would you ever go? Sure.

Do you wear boxers? Nope.

Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I’ve never used a tampon before. Not really common here (and so are other period products other than pads), although very recently I’ve seen more awareness campaigns for them which is great.

Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? Like...a general festival? Right now, I’m leaning towards the latter.

Most ghetto area you've been to? Tondo.

Do you listen to The Dream? I have heard some songs produced by him, but I don’t think I’ve heard anything that he himself sang.

If so, what's your favourite song by him? Coming from the last question, Beyoncé’s Partition.

Do you download music via Limewire or file sharing? I used to, but those days are far behind me lol. I stream on Spotify.

Have you ever used a torrent? ^ Yes, mostly for movies but I occasionally downloaded albums too.

Did you see Paranormal Activity 2? Yes. But I don’t think I was able to finish it because I got too spooked.

Have you ever been so scared of a movie you had to leave the theatre? No because I paid for that ticket.

Have you ever been to Canada? I have not.

One place you want to visit before you die. I would love to go to Chicago.

Have you ever gotten in a fight with someone in school? Not physical, but yeah.

What would you do if an old man grabbed your ass? Realistically, and based from previous experiences, I would probably be too shocked to react and most likely cry once I’m able to process what happened. Ideally I would smack them in the face, age be damned.

Do you like moustaches? I’m neutral.

Know any hipsters? Erm, I don’t think so.

What about gays? Sure.

Does the song that gets on everybody's nerves get on your nerves? What’s that song though?

Is daylight savings time kicking your ass? We don’t follow that here, and it’s rarely affected me.

Could you hack into someone's computer if you tried hard enough? I wouldn’t even know how to start.

Have you ever smoked a cigar? No and I don’t think I would ever be interested in trying. I’m not a big smoker as it is.

What is one thing you want for Christmas this year? I’m getting myself BTS merch for sure. I’ve stopped expecting certain gifts from family/friends since I’m earning on my own now; they can get me anything and I’d be over the moon with them.

Do you go out on Black Friday? We don’t follow that either. Is that the one with the big sales? Idek.

Do you have curtains in your bedroom? Not curtains, but blinds I can pull up and down.

Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little? Nah, I was too young for them.

Can you sing the entire Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song? For like...a week. I watched and got hooked to the show for a very brief time last year and managed to memorize the theme song, but I wouldn’t be able to recite it today.

Do you get heartburn? Only when I eat something excessively greasy. I remember getting bad heartburn right after eating KFC’s Double Down sandwich lol.

What internet browser do you use? I’ve always used Google Chrome.

Are you scared of elevators? If it’s in an old, not-super-maintained building and I have to ride it alone, then yes.

Have you ever seen a dead body in person? Only when they were already laid to rest in a coffin. Nothing beyond that.

Have you ever seen The Goonies? Nopes.

Do you think Michael Jackson was really a sex offender? I don’t know and I don’t really think about this.

If you're white, do you ever wish you were black? Or vice versa? I’m perfectly fine being brown.

Do you bake cookies all the time around Christmas? No, I never really bake.

Do you like your hair pulled? Erm...as in during sex? Hahaha yeah, sure.

Do you crack your toes? I don’t think I can do that. I’ve probably tried to do it before, though.

What kind of cellphone do you have? An iPhone 8 that is quickly running out of memory especially after starting to get hooked to BTS with the amount of photos and videos I save per day lolol

Have you ever visited a college for a weekend? I didn’t do that before starting college, no.

Are you in college? Not anymore; I graduated last year.

What is the furthest you will go away from home for college? I didn’t move out when I was in college.

Funniest youtube video you've seen? I watch a lot of funny videos on YouTube but I’m not too sure about the funniest. Maybe one of the BTS or Good Mythical Morning compilations I’ve stumbled upon?

Are you scared of public restrooms? Not scared; they’ve just always grossed me out, even pre-pandemic.

Do you still go trick or treating? Nah but I wouldn’t decline if my friends suddenly plan one as adults.

#survey #surveys

1 note · View note

aqvarius · 4 years

Note

Yes I meant rank as in from your favourite to least favourite and I don't mind if you don't rank all of them. Just the ones you read is okay. I'd like to know who did you like the most.

oooh okay! this took me a day to write bc i have so much to say i couldn’t just rank them without writing extra comments lmao sorry

pirates in love:

1. eduardo/shin

so my second EVER voltage guy in a single purchase game was eduardo (first was yamato from mfw like 90% of all voltage players lol) - back when he was still eduardo with the short haired sprite. i replayed his route in love 365 last year and he gave me a different impression as shin? but anyway eduardo was the OG kaga and i love and miss him so much. at one point he was my ultimate voltage husband!! also his story was so enthralling. if you love kaga, you will definitely love eduardo. if you look through my eduardo tag/search on my blog, you’ll see i once called him my love, my one true love, my fav voltage guy, my husband, etc. i miss him...

2. nathan/nagi

what a SWEETHEART? he’s a little tsun but damn he falls hard. he’s so awkwardly caring and i love it when he gets angry. also he’s 190cm with a weirdly high bounty on his head for some reason iirc. he was the fandom’s favourite tsundere before we had ever even heard of takuto.

3. christopher/soshi

it might sound odd because we all know i have a tendency to go for enigmatic characters and/or cold/aloof characters BUT i also love a fair share of sweet guys (haruki from ddiwt, lute aka the love of my life) especially because i love the feeling of not knowing if they’re just being kind or if they’re actually in love with you. they’re also usually ridiculously popular with women but oblivious about it and i love the drama there. it’s been so long since i last played him but i have his routes on PIL:CC on love 365 so i think it’s time for a reread...

i think those are all the PIL routes i’ve played but special shoutout to my girl fuzzy - #1 best friend

my sweet bodyguard:

1. mizuki fujisaki

my lovely, gorgeous, airheaded, wonderful bodyguard. he’s so underrated but so lovely. i just adore him. for the last 8 years since meeting him, i have just conveniently chosen to suspend my disbelief at the idea that a pop idol/celebrity could just quit and become a bodyguard. imagine if kyohei just peaced out of revance and became a bodyguard and everyone was chill with it. anyway i’m realising increasingly that i like enigmatic love interests lol and mizuki is just so hard to figure out? which makes it all the more delicious when he gets serious. i also love that he can literally talk to animals. i love how chill he is and how good he is at diffusing tension. i love everything about him. i actually don’t have any of his routes with me (i last played him when i still used an iphone so don’t have him on my love 365 on android ;~;) but i’m genuinely considering repurchasing all his routes lol

2. kyoya hayase

we got off to a rough start but then i fell fast and hard. hayase is someone that i’m afraid to rave about too much because i want to be the only person who knows about him so he can be mine and mine alone. has the cutest smile, the cutest blush and the lowest alcohol tolerance. he’s also totally my Type bc i love cold/serious standoffish characters who only open up to the person they love (i.e. me). the climax of his FLA route had my heart pounding but i was starry-eyed at his calm confidence. i trust him with my life.

3. daichi katsuragi

ah my beloved dorky captain aka KEVIN. i learned my love for household appliances from him. mature, serious, chivalrous, loyal, but with an easily flustered cute side… basically the modern day gaia from akd. i FREAKED OUT when i saw him in ayumu’s route. voltage WHERE is my msb x hlitf crossover?!?!?! i love katsuragi’s calm yet authoritative leadership skills and the way he just commands respect from everyone.

4. subaru ichiyanagi

the gap moe is so real with subaru. honestly i love subaru, he was my first ever bodyguard back when i played my sweet bodyguard for GREE. the number of guards i had to complete just to get enough points to pick good options in his route was ridiculous, i spent so much time on it!! also the amount of ender i had to earn to get nice clothes lmao. he only ranks 4th because i actually ship him with kosugi… their chemistry is unreal lol. also with goto, for obvious reasons. i wanna see more subaru in hlitf... subaru route? yes?

5. toru kurosawa

msb kurosawa is so much sweeter than hlitf kurosawa, even when he fucks off for 2 chapters while you spend days looking for him. msb kurosawa will distance himself from you to sort out his issues so he can be a better man for you. hlitf kurosawa will drag you kicking and screaming into his problems (although this may be because hlitf mc clings on like the snapping turtle she is). msb kurosawa is complex and interesting and won’t guilt you into sleeping with him and then leave you the next day.

6. kaiji akizuki

i started kaiji’s route in GREE about 8 years ago and don’t think i ever finished it? but as far as i remember, it was really cute. kaiji is so easy to be around and i love osananajimi characters who have loved you since you were kids together. also his sisters are crazy lol.

7. seiji goto

goto ranks 7th because the route started off on a really weird note (like hayase’s) with too much pre-route exposition (i still have no idea where to find the info that helps to ease into his route). also because he made me actually want to be with subaru instead in his route and his way to win me back was to whisk me away from a date with subaru and take me straight to kazuki’s grave. that being said, his GREE route was way better so...

*i haven’t played ishigami, sora, makabe, koda or eiji (but recently bought eiji's set) but sora ranks last because of a long running gag with @hikarunohana about hating on sora

20 notes · View notes

thehoodsweetheart · 5 years

Text

Sandcastles

A/N: I haven’t written in a very long time so please be gentle with me. I got in the mood to write and thought, why not? Loosely proofread it. I hope it’s not complete trash. :( Anyways, Auntie Bey releasing Lemonade for streaming gave your girl some inspo. Please comment and let me know your thoughts.

Word Count: 2,471

Warnings: Slight Angst (?), Violence, Hints of emotional abuse, Fuckboy Erik

Summary: You love Erik, but you can’t let him compromise your integrity.

Erik x Black Reader (will always be a Black reader. Sorry not Sorry).

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The iPhone’s screen illuminated white with its signature black apple dead center. You inhaled deeply letting out an exasperated breath awaiting the lock screen to appear. You used your thumb to spin the wedding ring around your finger. Your eyes shifted from the device to the house you were parked in front of. It was large modern styled house, almost as if it were overcompensating for something. The lawn was well manicure yet it showed no semblance of life. At 11:45 AM, not a single light peaking from any of the vast windows, or a single car in the winding driveway to give the impression that someone was ‘home’. Great... This was your home.

The chiming of the overbearing amount of notifications snapped out of your daze. You furrowed your eyebrows together immediately turning off the ringer to silence the noise. 587 text messages, 107 missed calls, 107 voicemails to accompany those missed calls, and let’s not count the emails, Instagram DM’s, and Facebook messages. They were pretty much all from Erik, except for a few texts from your best friend Samantha, Shuri, and T’Challa. Nonetheless, their texts were probably due to Erik pestering them.

Five days. That’s how long you were gone. Five days since your phone was last turned on. You thought Erik should have given up after the first 20 unanswered calls and text messages. You made it very clear that you done this time. Matter of fact, you promised you were done. You opened the stream of Erik’s texts trying to scroll as much as you could to get a glimpse where he was mentally. His texts went from being riddled with arrogance and indifference, in true Erik Stevens form, to desperate and apologetic, then came the slue of “I love you’s”. You slouched in your seat behind the steering wheel and continued to skim the texts rolling your eyes.

The most recent voicemail from Erik made your chest tight as a lump formed in your throat. His voice was laced with venom.

Y/n, you really on some bullshit! How many times do a nigga have to apologize love? I’ve been calling you like I’m FUCKIN’ CRAZY! (He chuckles darkly.)You really gone walk away from everything like that baby? You left me here with our daughter and you don’t even give a fuck. What if something happened to Iman and I was trying to let you know? What the fuck kind of mother are you!? (Iman cried in the background.)

How dare he use her against you? You blinked away tears thinking of your 8-month-old daughter. You loved Iman with your entire being. She was literally the light of your life and string of hope that love still remained in your marriage. You never wanted to leave her but you couldn’t stay. There was also no way in hell Erik would let you take her with you. The night you left he refused to let you take her. Now he was trying to guilt trip you.

Erik cheated.This wasn’t his first affair either. You honestly questioned if this was truly the second affair. You guys were nearing your third year of marriage and he’d already been caught having an affair prior to this. The first time was during your first year of marriage. You’d questioned why he even married you in the first place, but he swore he loved nobody like he loved you and couldn’t live without you. Like the naïve girl you were, you forgave him. This time you couldn’t. You promised if he cheated again, you would walk away and never look back.

Erik followed you into you guys shared home, loosening his tie and shrugging out of his tuxedo jacket. You all were just returning home from a benefit hosted by the Wakandan Outreach Center. His eyes fixed on your ample rear-end and wide set hips as they swayed with your vigorous walk. Your black body-con dress flattered every curve. He noted your postpartum weight had provided you with some desirable assets.

He was hot on your trail as you reached the kitchen opening the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water.

You needed a drink of water to hopefully ease the nauseous feeling that developed mid-dinner. As the benefit went on, you were left with your thoughts, which only made you feel worse. On the surface you played it cool, keeping a warm smile and socializing with the benefit goers but still keeping a watchful eye on your husband…and his intern. She felt no shame in openly flirting with him as he fed right into it with his dimpled smile and occasional wink.

Erik snaked an arm around your waist pressing his groin into your butt. You shrugged him off of you rounding the island that centered the kitchen. Erik scoffed in annoyance.

“What the fuck is wrong with you now?”

“YOU-you’re fucking your intern!” The words spilled out of your mouth like word-vomit as tears threatened the rims of your eyes.

Erik clenched and unclenched his jaw before squaring his shoulders his feet planted apart. His almost natural militant stance still screamed righteousness no matter if he had just been called out.

“What intern?” He arched his brow with a smug look.

Before you could think twice, you snatched off your So Kate pumps and threw them directly at his head missing by a few centimeters. He stood there with a look of bewilderment. You knew it would only be a matter of time before he’d try to come after you and that’d be your ass.

“Fuck you Erik! You know exactly who I’m talking about! HOW LONG HUH?! I saw the text messages and nasty ass pictures she sent you last night! Distasteful bitch! Was it her in the video that you lied and tried to say it was random porn?! You must think I’m fuckin stupid!” You screamed.

You grabbed the closest thing to you, which was an empty glass bowl and hurled it in his direction. Your vision was blurred with tears but your aim was still pretty accurate. Maybe playing softball in your youth did pay off. The bowl hit his built shoulder and went crashing on the floor.

“Stop throwing shit! YES I FUCKED HER OKAY?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO KNOW? And it was her in the video. But I don’t give a fuck about her!” Erik barked as he stormed toward you.

You might’ve been pissed but you were still a smart bitch. You dodged his reach picking up another dish to throw at him before scurrying to the farther side of the kitchen. You didn’t care if he gave a fuck about his intern or not, he still fucked her. He still made the conscious decision to break your trust and ruin the small family you were building. Your chest heaved as angrily wiped the makeup stained tears from your cheeks.

“YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME EITHER! You only care about yourself! You disgust me. I put my dreams and career on hold to cater to you. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom and you knew that! Yet I still did it for us, so that our daughter could at least be around one of her parents consistently. You’re hardly ever home these days! You treat me like shit! You lie to me! You never have time for me. You cheat on me with God only knows how many other women! I’M DONE!”

You wipe your stray tears stuffing the phone into your hoodie’s pocket. Your shaky hands fiddled with the keys before pulling them out of the ignition. You quickly get out of your Range Rover Velar and stroll towards the house. You unlock the house to be met with silence and the familiar scent of home. The scent was a mixture of fresh linen and lavender vanilla from your favorite candles.

You eyes scanned the first floor of the open floor plan home. There was still no sign of Erik. You blew out a sign of relief as you ventured further into the house. You walked into the living room seeing some of Iman’s toys and a blanket thrown about. Out of habit you collect them, putting them in their respectful places before folding her baby blanket and laying it in the play-pin she had in the living room. A couple pairs of his shoes littered the floor and one of Iman’s bottles. Like her mom, Iman liked to throw things and with good aim.

“You would think he’d be neater being in the Navy and all.” You scoffed rolling your eyes.

He actually was neat. Often times, neater than you so seeing things out of place were odd. You knew Erik was probably ready to pull his dreads out having to deal with Iman alone for five days. Iman was definitely a busybody, despite not walking yet she could manage to crawl and climb whatever whenever she got the chance. He could finally see how you felt… aside from being cheated on.

A sizable gold photo frame laid faced down on the end table near where most of Iman’s mess was. You picked up the photo taking in the details of its broken glass before focusing in on the actual picture. It was a picture of your wedding day. Another item you attempted to throw at Erik in your heated rage. You and Erik looked like a genuinely happy couple there, nothing forced like the past few months were. You placed your hand over your mouth to hush your sobs. How could you have gotten to this point?

You were never a violent person. You weren’t even easily angered. You were always cool and collected trying to see a positive in any situation. Conflict just wasn’t your thing but mostly due to you being so sensitive. Erik had always joked that you were the calm to his storm. That you were, the calm always willing to offer comfort and rationality so when it came to the point where your love was being taken advantage of you exploded. It was your turn to bring the storm.

Erik stood in the distance taking in the sight of you. Your curly hair thrown in a messy topknot as a few tight curls escaped, hanging freely around your face. Your honey brown golden skin looked like it lost a bit of color, as if you were indoors for the entire five days or maybe sick. Your almond shaped eyes were puffy, nose a bit red, and already full lips looked a little swollen. No matter how disheveled another person may have thought you looked, he saw your beauty. The same beauty that captured him from the first moment he set eyes on you. Erik’s face contorted into a frown as he hastily wiped his own tears.

You must’ve felt him staring because you looked up only to lock eyes with him. Your breathing hitched as he walked closer to you but you didn’t move, you couldn’t move. Here was the alleged love of your life and very sight of him made you want to punch him in the face, vomit, cry, hate him, love him and be held all at the same time. It physically pained your stomach.

Erik reached out and touched your hand causing you to pull back as if being shocked by electricity.

“I just came to get my things. I’ll be leaving shortly.” You said just above a whisper your eyes shifting to the floor.

“Please-please don’t leave.” Erik croaked only to be met with silence. You stared at him with a blank expression.

“Where’s Iman?” You muttered.

“She’s in her nursery taking a nap.” He sounded defeated as he tossed the baby monitor on the couch. You nodded attempting to walk around him only to be stopped.

“Wait! I-I know I fucked up. I just want to apologize baby. I was wrong for being a fucked up husband and cheating. I was being selfish. I felt like I was losing myself by giving my all to you and I’m sorry. I allowed my ego get the best of me. You didn’t deserve none of the shit I put you through--”

“You’re right you are selfish. You ain’t shit for what you did to me.” You cut him off.

He dropped his head looking at his feet. Erik nodded before looking into your eyes and grabbing your hands. His large calloused hands engulfing your small delicate ones.

“Just hear me out Y/N. I love you with all of my being. You and Iman are the best things that have ever happened to me and I don’t even deserve y’all. I can’t take losing another person I love. I need you baby. If I gotta beg you for your forgiveness everyday I will. I already fired her. Shit, I’ll even go to marriage counseling. Whatever it takes. We can re-build; take it as slow as you need…Fuck! I don’t—I can’t let you walk away. Just don’t leave me baby.” Erik gripped your hips his fingertips digging into your flesh.

Your gaze studied the intricate scars adorning his forearms. Without thought, your fingers traced the pattern. He leaned down pressing his forehead against yours. You dared not to look in his eyes. A teardrop hitting your nose caught you off guard. You took in a sharp breath chewing on your bottom lip. In the many years of knowing your husband, you can count on one hand how many times you’d seen him cry. You draped your arm around his neck stroking the back of his head.

“It’s going to take more than an apology to get your family back. I refuse to raise childrenin a toxic environment.” You said just above a whisper.

Iman’s wails echoed through the baby monitor. You immediately broke away from Erik rushing up the stairs to her nursery. You missed your baby and not having her was the worse part of those five days. You scooped Iman up in your arms rocking her as you kissed all over her round golden face. Her cries subsided as she offered you a two-toothed grin flexing the dimples in her chubby cheeks, Erik’s dimples.

“Mommy’s here. I’m so sorry my sweet girl.” You clung to her as tears fell down your cheeks.

“Y/N…” Erik called out as he stood in the doorway with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

You turned around to face him with a raised eyebrow.

“I found the pregnancy tests in our bathroom.” Erik stated plainly.

You never got around to telling him but you’d known you were pregnant for at least two weeks.

“I never hid them…”

#erik killmonger x reader #erik killmonger imagine #erik killmonger x oc #erik x reader #black panther rec #black panther #black panther imagine #killmonger imagine #killmonger x reader #killmonger #killmonger one shot #erik killmonger x black!reader

434 notes · View notes

gagosiangallery · 4 years

Text

Richard Prince at Gagosian Beverly Hills

January 15, 2020

RICHARD PRINCE New Portraits Opening reception: Thursday, February 6, 6–8pm February 6–March 21, 2020 456 North Camden Drive, Beverly Hills __________ In 1984 I took some portraits. The way I did it was different. The way had nothing to do with the tradition of portraiture. If you wanted me to do your portrait, you would give me at least five photographs that had already been taken of yourself, that were in your possession (you owned them, they were yours), and more importantly . . . that you were already happy with. You would give me the five you liked and I would pick the one I liked. I would rephotograph the one I liked and that would be your portrait. Simple. Direct. To the point . . . Foolproof. I started off doing friends. Peter Nadin. Anne Kennedy. Jeff Koons. Cookie Mueller. Gary Indiana. Colin de Land.

They didn’t have to sit for their portraits. They didn’t have to make an appointment and come over and sit in front of some cyclone or in front of a neutral background or on an artist’s stool. They didn’t have to show up at all. And they wouldn’t be disappointed with the result. How could they? It wasn’t like they were giving me photos of themselves that were embarrassing.

Social Science Fiction.

Another advantage was the “time line.” If you were in your sixties and you gave me a photograph that had been taken thirty years earlier, and that’s the one I chose, your portrait ended up in a kind of time machine. I couldn’t go forward, but I could go backward. Vanity. Most of the people I did liked the younger version of themselves. So the future didn’t really matter. Half of H. G. Wells was better than no half at all.

Who knew?

After friends, I did people I didn’t know.

I had access to Warner Bros. Records and their publicity files. The files were filled with 8 × 10 glossies of recording stars that they had under contract. How I had access is beside the point. It was a long time ago. Let’s just say an A&R guy gave me access, “permission.”

I spent time in their LA headquarters, in Burbank, and went thru the metal cabinets and took the “publicities” I wanted, took them home, put them in front of my camera, and made a new photograph. The first one I did was Dee Dee Ramone.

I did Tina Weymouth, Tom Verlaine, Jonathan Richman, Laurie Anderson. I did the two girls from the B-52s.

Not knowing these people, having never met them, or talked to them, but still being able to do their portraits, excited me. Satisfaction. I spent weeks in the basement of Warner Bros. I thought I had an advantage. My method, if you could call it that, was far more flexible than the regular way portraits were taken. I didn’t need a studio. A darkroom. A receptionist. A calendar. Makeup. Stylists. I didn’t have to deal with agents or the “personality,” good or bad, of the sitter. My overhead was minimal and I could do the portrait all by myself.

By myself. That was the best.

Why I Go To The Movies Alone.

At first I thought this could be a business.

Up till then none of the art that I was making sold . . . or sold enough to make a living. I had just quit my job at Time Life the year before and was trying to make a go of it living near Venice Beach in LA . . . sharing a house with three roommates and living off the occasional sales that Hudson, my friend from Chicago, would make selling my “cartoon” drawings.

This idea of a “portrait business” made sense to me. Who wouldn’t want their portrait done this way?

I continued to do friends. Paula Greif. Dike Blair. Meyer Vaisman. I did everybody’s portraits for Wild History, a book that I put together for Tanam Press of downtown writing. The author’s portrait accompanied their contribution. Wharton Tiers. Spalding Gray. Tina L’Hotsky.

By the end of ’84 it was over.

I’m not sure if it was the lack of interest in me, or in others. (My energy evaporated.) Maybe it was the inability to convince people to commit to a commission. It was a good idea, but after doing about forty of them, I put them in a drawer and moved on. Bored? Restless? I don’t know. Let’s just say it didn’t take off.

Leave it at that.

My cartoon drawings turned into jokes and the jokes started taking up everything. In the end, I think most people would rather have their portrait done by Robert Mapplethorpe.

Thirty years. Time passes.

The social network.

I looked over my daughter’s shoulder and saw that she was scrolling thru pictures on her phone. I asked her what she was looking at. “It’s my Tumblr.” “What’s a tumbler?” I asked.

That was . . . four years ago?

About three years ago I bought an iPhone. Someone had shown me the photographs you could take with the phone. I had given up taking pictures after they got rid of color slide film. I tried digital, but couldn’t make the adjustment. I never liked carrying a camera and was pretty much inkjetting and painting anyway . . . so the idea of using a big boxy camera with all its new whistles and bows wasn’t for me.

Enter the sandman.

The iPhone was just what I needed. I couldn’t believe how easy it was to point and shoot. You didn’t have to focus. You didn’t have to load film. You didn’t have to ASA. You didn’t have to set a speed. The clarity . . .

I could see for miles.

The photos you took were stored in the phone. And when you wanted to see them, they appeared on a grid. The best part: you could send a photo immediately to a friend, to an e-mail, to a printer . . . or, you could organize your photos, like my daughter had, and post them publicly or privately.

When worlds collide.

I asked my daughter more about Tumblr. Are those your photos? Where did you get that one? Did you need permission? How did you get that kind of crop? You can delete them? Really? What about these “followers?” Who are they? Are they people you know? What if you don’t want to share? How many of your friends have Tumblrs?

What’s yours is mine.

My daughter’s “grid” on Tumblr reminded me of my Gangs I did back in ’85 . . . where I organized a set of nine images on a single piece of photo paper and blew the paper up to 86 × 48. The gangs were a way to deal with marginal or subsets of lifestyles that I needed to see on a wall but not a whole wall. Each gang was its own exhibition. Girlfriends, Heavy Metal Bands, Giant Waves, Bigfoot Trucks, Sex, War, Cartoons, Lyrics . . . were all rephotographed with slide film, and when the slides returned, they were “deejayed” and moved around on a custom-made light box until the best nine made the cut. The “cut” was then taped together (the edges of the slide mounts were pushed up against each other and Scotch-taped), the nine taped slides were sent to a lab where an 8 × 10 internegative was made, and from the internegative the final photo was blown up. I’ve probably lost you. Technical stuff . . . application and technique. Sometimes it’s better to leave the “background” out of it. Better to “take it for granted.” Why should I care how a photograph is made?

Only sometimes.

How was it called back then? Sampling?

Primitive now, but back then . . . 50-inch photo drums were few and far between. The paper was 50 inches wide and came in a huge roll. If you wanted to, you could take a roll and roll it down the street, roll it down the sidewalk, roll it all the way down the West Side Highway.

Shakespeare’s in the alley?

No. Philip Roth is in the alley.

Joan Didion is in the alley.

Don DeLillo is in the alley.

What’s up, pussycat?

There’s a lot of cats on Instagram. Food too.

And there’s tons of photos of people who take photographs of themselves. (Yes, I know the word.)

On the gram. I was just asked why I like Instagram. I said, “Because there’s rules. And if you break the rules, you get kicked off.”

I got to Instagram thru Twitter.

Twitter first.

I’m not sure when I first started tweeting, but I liked trying to fit a whole story into 140 characters.

I call it Birdtalk.

I used to bird in the early ’90s for Purple magazine and birded in my first catalogue for Barbara Gladstone in ’87.

Short sentences that were funny, sweet, dumb, profound, absurd, stupid, jokey, Finnegans Wake meets MAD magazine meets ad copy for Calvin Klein. Think Dylan’s Tarantula. Then think some more and think Kathy Acker’s Tarantula.

Or, don’t think at all. I know I don’t.

Sometimes.

Sometimes I write down the first sentence that starts off my favorite novel.

Relative. I’m not much of a theory guy. But sometimes I think there was a reason why Einstein was a technical assistant in the Swiss patent office.

Let me fill your cup.

Twitter accepts photos, but is mainly text-based. I like to combine the two and tweet both photo and text.

I called the photo/text tweets I was posting . . . “The Family.”

I posted photos of my extended family . . . mother, brother, sister, nieces, cousins, uncles, aunts, in-laws, stepchildren, boy- and girlfriends. I would caption the photos with a short description of who, what, why . . . measuring my words so that they fit into the guidelines of the platform.

After posting the photo/text, I sent the information to my printer and inkjetted an 11 × 14 print of the marriage. I made thirty-eight “Family” tweets.

Distribution.

I placed each “Family” tweet in a plastic sleeve and pushpinned the sleeve to the wall. The wall was at Karma. I put all thirty-eight up. Salon style. It was Saturday. The doors opened at 12 pm. By 12:15 pm all thirty-seven were gone. One to a customer. I kept the one that had my father, mother, and sister in it. (My father and mother were naked, and my sister was sitting in between. My family wasn’t like yours. Hobnob doesn’t begin to describe them.) I sold the “Family Tweets” for $12 each. First come, first served.

Well, well, well . . .

In ma ma ma my wheeeeeeeel house.

I used to stutter. By the ninth grade, the sparkle was in my eye. It got so bad, the impediment turned me into a clam. I slept all day, every day. I wouldn’t get up until Sunday. I waited for Bonanza to come on the TV. I loved the cowboy father and his three sons.

Two summers ago, my niece was working for me out on Long Island and she showed me how to screen save. I didn’t know about the option. What other options don’t I know about?

Screen Save.

This might be one of the best applications in an apparatus that I’ve ever encountered. All-time. Hall of fame. First place. Just what I need. MORE photographs.

Hey kids . . . what time is it?

Now I have a theory.

I was beside myself.

Congratulations.

This past spring, and half the summer, the iPhone became my studio. I signed up for Instagram. I pushed things aside. I made room. It was easy. I ignored Tumblr, and Facebook had never interested me. But Instagram . . .

I started off being RichardPrince4.

I quickly recognized the device was a way to get the lead out. If Twitter was editorial . . . then Instagram was advertising.

A gazillion people.

Besides cats, dogs, and food, people put out photos of themselves and their friends all the time, every day, and, yes, some people put themselves out twice on Mondays. I started “following” people I knew, people I didn’t know, and people who knew each other. It was innocent. I was on the phone talking to Jessica Hart and had just looked at her “gram” feed before picking up the phone. I asked about a picture she posted of herself standing in front of a fireplace wearing what looked to be ski clothes and big fur boots. The post was in black and white, head to toe, full figure, and behind her, above the mantel, there was a portrait of Brigitte Bardot. I told her someone should make a portrait out of this photo. She said, “Why don’t you?”

Come to think of it.

I’m not sure if she knew about my Family Tweets. She might have. I think we even talked about them after she came to my studio for a visit. After I got off the phone, I thought about her suggestion: “Why don’t you?”

I went back to her feed and screen saved her “winter” photo. I sent the save to my computer, pressed “empty subject,” pressed “actual size,” and waited for it to appear in a doc, checked the margins and crop, clicked on the doc, and sent it to my printer. My inkjet printer printed out an 11 × 14-inch photo on paper . . . I took the photo out of the tray and put it on my desk.

Looking at Jessica’s feed reminded me of 1984. Except this time I had more than five photos to choose from. I went back to her feed a second time. I scrolled thru maybe a hundred photos she had posted and looked at all the ones that included her. The one in front of the fireplace was still the best.

Walk on.

Jessica had tons of followers. Thousands. And a lot of them had “commented” on what she posted. I read all the comments that had been posted under her fireplace photo. There was one comment I wish I could have gotten in my original screen save. When you screen save an Instagram image, you can get maybe three, four comments in the save if you include the person’s “profile” icon that appears on the upper left of the page. I decided early on I wanted the person’s icon to be part of the save. But what else could I save?

I went back to my desk and kept staring at the printout of Jessica. What do I do now?

I didn’t want to paint it.

I didn’t want to mark it.

I didn’t want to add a sticker.

Whatever I did, I wanted it to happen INSIDE and before the save. I wanted my contribution to be part of the “gram.” I didn’t want to do anything physical to the photograph after it was printed.

Five cents.

I went back to the comment.

I commented on Jessica’s photo in front of the fireplace, but my comment was one of hundreds and showed up outside, way down at the bottom . . . out of the frame.

If I wanted my comment to show up near her picture . . . how?

I got lucky.

I’m terrible when it comes to the tech side of technology. But somehow I figured out how to hack into Jessica’s feed and swipe away all her comments and add my own so that it would appear under her post. The hack is pretty simple and anyone can do it. You hit the gray comment bar and pick a comment you don’t want and swipe with your finger to the left, and a red exclamation mark appears. You press on the exclamation mark and four things come onto the bottom of your screen.

1. Why are you reporting this comment?

2. Spam or Scam

3. Abusive Content

4. Cancel

To get rid of the comment, you click on Spam or Scam. It’s gone. Just like that I could control other people’s comments and Jessica’s own comments. And the comment that I added could now be near enough to Jessica’s photo that when I screen saved it, my comment would “show up.” Make sense? It’s about as good as I can do. What can I say? Einstein and cuckoo . . .

So now . . .

So now I was in.

Waiting to follow.

Richardprince4 would appear at the bottom of Jessica’s final portrait. My comment, whatever it would be, would always be the last comment. The last say so. Say so. That’s good. That could work. My “in” was what I ended up saying. And what I would say would be everything I ever knew . . . what I knew now and what I would know in the future.

Tell Me Everything.

Finnegans Wake meets MAD magazine.

Zoot Horn Rollo. You seem to be where I belong (emoji).

The first three portraits I did were of women I knew. Or almost knew. Jessica, I knew. Pam Anderson, I knew. Sky Ferreira? I didn’t know, but was following her and had been reading about her new album and seeing posters of her album broadsided on sheets of ply on the Bowery and on Lafayette near Bond. I wasn’t sure what I was doing or why I chose these three. I just had lunch with Pam and had seen Jessica in LA. Sky, I was following because she seemed interesting. There was nothing more. No attraction. No fan. No desire. No date. No wanting anything from her. And the pictures she posted were candid, boozy, and seemed to be letting the viewer in on some kind of backstage diary. She also had thousands of people following her, and I could tap into her followers and follow them. I can do that? I didn’t even know I could follow the followers. Like I said, the hardware was all new . . . and I was just getting started.

The shoreline is never the same. (Like it should be.)

When I first started getting rid of comments, I thought the person whose comments I was getting rid of might get pissed. “What happened to all my comments?” I found out quickly that “the getting rid of” only affected my feed. The deleted comments didn’t affect the followers’ feeds. Their comments were still there even though they were gone from mine. All that happened is that MY comment showed up below their photo. Was I allowed? Yes. I guess so. It’s hard to explain. But the process is open, and at the moment, it’s the way it works and anyone and everyone can do it.

The language I started using to make “comments” was based on Birdtalk. Non sequitur. Gobbledygook. Jokes. Oxymorons. “Psychic Jujitsu.”

Some of the language came directly from TV. If I’m selecting a photo of someone and adding a comment to their gram and an advertisement comes on . . . I use the language that I hear in the ad. Inferior language. It works. It sounds like it means something. What’s it mean? I don’t know. Does it have to mean anything at all? I think about James Joyce confessing to Nora Barnacle. I think about opening up to page 323 of Finnegans Wake. Then I think about notes and lyricism. Policy. Whisper. Murmurs. Mantra. Quotation. Advice.

Chamber Music.

Didn’t Duke Ellington say, “If it sounds good, it is good”? He did say that, didn’t he?

Who are these people?

Larry Clark, Diane Arbus, Robert Mapplethorpe take great portraits. I’ve watched Larry take photos and I don’t know how he does it. I wouldn’t know where to begin. I could never go up to a stranger and ask them if I could take their picture. I’ve done it maybe two or three times and didn’t enjoy it. That part of art is in Larry. It isn’t in me. I feel more comfortable in my bedroom looking thru Easyriders and poring over pictures of “girlfriends” that are right there on the page. Page after page. Looking. Wondering. Anticipating. Hoping. What will be on the next page? Will I find a girlfriend that I really like? That’s my relationship with what’s out there. It’s as close as I want to get. That’s what’s in me.

IG is a bedroom magazine.

I can start out with someone I know and then check out who they follow or who’s following them, and the rabbit hole takes on an out-of-body experience where you suddenly look at the clock and it’s three in the morning. I end up on people’s grids that are so far removed from where I began, it feels psychedelic. Further. I’m on the bus. I feel like I’m part of Kesey’s merry tribe. I’m reminded of Timothy Leary’s journals, which I purchased years ago from John McWhinnie, and the concentration that came over me when I discovered his hand-drawn map of his escape from jail. How he literally shimmied on a wire that had been strung up from an outer utility building to the perimeter prison wall . . . and how I would trace with my finger his overland express to Tangier, where he hooked up with Black Panther Eldridge Cleaver and spent the next year seeking asylum in different parts of North Africa, ultimately ending up in Switzerland where his ex-wife ratted him out, and how fighting extradition took up the rest of his life. Wow, now it’s four in the morning.

Tune In, Turn On, Come Out.

“Trolling.”

If you say so.

I never thought about it that way. The word has been used to describe part of the process of making my new portraits. I guess so. It’s not like I’m on the back of a boat throwing out chum.

“We’re going to need a bigger boat.”

Included.

Everyone is fair.

Game.

An even playing field.

“Outside my cabin door. Said the girl from the red river shore.”

Men. Women. Men and women. Men and men. Women and women. Blacks Whites Latinos Asian Arabs Jews Straights Gays Transgender. Tattoos and scars. Hairy.

I don’t really know the score.

The ones I adore.

I just know where I belong.

“Oh, there I go. From a man to a memory.”

How do I tell you who or why I pick? I can’t. It would be like telling you why I pick that joke. WHY THAT ONE? There’s thousands of jokes. I read them all. It takes days to read just one joke book. 101 of the World’s Funniest Jokes. Days. If I get one, find one, like one, out of the 101, it’s a good day.

People on IG lead me to other people. I spend hours surfing, saving, and deleting. Sometimes I look for photos that are straightforward portraits (or at least look straightforward). Other times I look for photos that would only appear, or better still . . . exist on IG. Photos that look the way they do because they’re on the gram. Selfies? Not really. Self-portraits. I’m not interested in abbreviation. I look for portraits that are upside down, sideways, at arm’s length, taken within the space that a body can hold a camera phone. What did de Kooning say? “When I spread my arms out, it’s all the space I need.”

At first I wasn’t sure how to print the portrait. I tried different surfaces, different papers. Presentation? Frame? Matt? Shadowbox? I tried them all. Finally this past spring my lab introduced me to a new canvas, one that was tightly wound, a surface with hardly any tooth. Smooth to the touch. Almost as if the canvas were photo paper. It was also brilliantly white. I don’t think it could be any whiter. And . . . the way the ink jetted into the canvas was a surprise. It fused in a way that made the image slightly out of focus. Just enough. The ink was IN and ON the canvas at the same time. When I first saw the final result, I didn’t really know what I was looking at. A photographic work or a work on canvas? The surprise was perfect. Perfect doesn’t come along very often. The color that had been transferred from the file of the computer to the jet, from jet to canvas, was intense, saturated, rich. If someone I followed had blue hair, their hair looked like it had been dyed directly onto the canvas. Dye job. Rinsed. Beauty salon. It was brilliant, great color. You might call it “vibrant.” The vibe between the image and the process was “sent away for,” seamless, effortless . . . all descriptions I used to use when I tried describing my early “pens, watches, and cowboys.” (Has it really been forty years?) The ingredients, the recipe, “the manufacture,” whatever you want to call it . . . was familiar but had changed into something I had never seen before. I wasn’t sure it even looked like art. And that was the best part. Not looking like art. The new portraits were in that gray area. Undefined. In-between. They had no history, no past, no name. A life of their own. They’ll learn. They’ll find their own way. I have no responsibility. They do. Friendly monsters.

Speak for yourself.

To fit in the world takes time.

For now, all I can say is . . . they’re the only thing I’ve ever done that has made me happy.

http://www.richardprince.com/writings/bird-talk

#Richard Prince #Gagosian

12 notes · View notes

linchxpin · 4 years

Text

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

Can be used for RP and non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

1. FIRST NAME: i go by masha online :v

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: when i was five years old, my family and i lived in a nursing home :oc or a. i guess technically it was more of a. oh. i mean it was a nursing home, but it was one that was specifically Set Up to handle seniors and Others with. erm. psychological issues coughs

i still remember some of the residents, and i also remember occasionally helping out with some of them, too. you know. in Very Small Ways bc i was just barely Not a literal toddler lmao

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: uhhhfjfkea;gerrr???? i’m automatically drawn to noses for some reason, particularly if they’re. A Certain Shape. also eyebrows/eyelashes thinking emoji and uhhhhh idk i guess maybe hands/wrists?? idek dude i’m frickn asexual as hell lmao

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: so i usually say dumplings of any sort and from any cuisine (potstickers, ravioli, empanadas, pirozhki, steamed buns, u name it), but i was recently reminded that scotch eggs are A Thing and

inhales

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: HOMINY......... CAULIFLOWER............. whispers asparagus hhhhh i also can’t do stewed tomatoes oh g o d

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: right now it’s probably dollmakers and watching hetalia mmd videos on youtube lmao lies down

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: whatever clothes i wore the day before finger guns

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: i mean probably neither, but if i had to choose, i’m. a little bit. ??? toward flings 6_6

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: g o d. the two biggest things i can think of are that i wouldn’t have dropped out of school rip i guess maybe in the long run it wouldn’t have changed much in the way of my schooling, but. idk. maybe i’d still have a friend or two rip

the other is that i wish i’d managed to live alone longer than i had

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: to those i know well, yes

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: fjife;a kung fu panda 2 lmao also honestly a lot of the x-men movies fall under this for some reason

12. FAVORITE BOOK: a little princess, house of leaves, on the beach, and almost anything by h.g. wells, but especially war of the worlds. also i can’t not mention the secret garden and little women

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: i mean, i admit i am the type of person who is inordinately happy keeping dogs as pets bc they pretty much hit every one of my Needs for a pet, but the idea of owning like. something really really Big and fluffy Sends Me ngl

WAIT LET ME COME IN DAYS LATER AND ADMIT THAT HAVING A PET SEAL WOULD PROBABLY BE MY DOWNFALL

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: oh lord UHHHH don’t judge me ok but my favorites are probablyyyy

) beerus/whis (dragon ball) ) euroshipping kaiba/bakura (yugioh) ) sora/kairi/riku (kingdom hearts) ) i think it’s called stormshipping now?? fubuki/manjoume (yugioh gx) ) bad friends trio OT3 (hetalia)

y. yeah. tried to go with a Variety of different fandoms rip

15. PIE OR CAKE: whichever one cheesecake counts as >8| but honestly probably pie, bc i frickn love pumpkin pie, chocolate silk pie, lemon meringue pie, cherry pie, key lime pie, hershey’s cookies & cream pie-- i mean the list is practically endless lmao

16. FAVORITE SCENT: SO MANY. cucumber melon, aloe vera, lysol, rubbing alcohol, BLEACH......... sweet pea, gardenia, actual rose, actual vanilla, ginger, white tea g o d you will find me literally standing in the soap and body wash aisle for a good thirty to forty-five minutes just smelling what they offer there lmao......................

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: idk uhhhh weird al? lmao

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: I WANT TO GO TO RUSSIA SOMEDAY but also i’d love to revisit sorrento and capri and florence and assisi

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: in the middle-ish but leaning somewhat heavily toward introvert :v

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: i am a very Jumpy person lmao but. other than that, it really depends on what you’re doing to scare me thinking emoji history has shown me i tend to keep a cool head in emergencies

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: telegram. ya whippersnapper *tapdances out*

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: at the moment? no orz but i still consider myself fans of games like animal crossing, kingdom hearts, twewy, uhhhhh monster hunter, super smash brothers, MARIO KART.... and also majora’s mask is probably my all-time favorite game thinking emoji

i’m also a big fan of star fox and any number of survival horror games, but they’re generally too Difficult for me to actually play rip

23. DREAM JOB: god for probably like ten years or more i’ve dreamed of being a comic creator lies down i’ve pretty much given up on that one tho. but i’d also just Love being able to do something related to drawing-- especially in animation. i also will always mourn not being able to be a teacher bc i love the act itself of teaching, but. well. mornings and me Do Not Mix. so. when i’m feeling more practical, the truth is i want very much to be a hospice nurse

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: l o r d firST THING-- get my education squared up and out of the way >:u and probably also pay off my student debt i already have. hrmmm. maybe buy a house. definitely move out, that’s for sure. take my mom to italy and/or ireland

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: iiiiiii. er. i mean, i can’t think of any off the top of my head?? i don’t tend to hate characters tbh scratches head the most i get is neutral toward them lmao

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: well. i kinda tend to cycle through old fandoms, so i can’t really think of any that i was once part of that i also have no interest whatsoever in going back to

i guess there’s some that i hesitate to get drawn too deeply into, just bc of their reputations or. honestly sometimes just bc i’m Just Not That Into It lmao

i could maaaybe put star wars here? bc it was technically my very first fandom back when i was like ten years old and the phantom menace had just come out fjfie;ahg YES I AM THAT OLD SHHH i was really into it at the time, and i still enjoy the universe itself and all, but. i can’t say i’ve felt compelled to really Join The Fandom

tagged by. whispers stolen from @sakuraari

#;dash games #ok i finally finished this hhh #long post

3 notes · View notes

kristatotheworld · 5 years

Text

What I’ve Learned on My Exchange

I’ve learned so so much here-- so much about me, about others, about the world, about life. I’ve mentioned a few times how much I’ve changed on this exchange, but I’ve never gone into details on the things I’ve learned. I could probably write an entire novel filled with all of the things I’ve learned. But, for today I think I’ll just stick to the more important things.

By the way, these are in no certain order.

1. How to go out and do things alone: This is something I feel like a lot of people struggle with. Who wants to go out to eat alone? Who wants to sit in a cafe alone? Well, me. Before coming here though, I was definitely like that. I didn’t wanna go anywhere alone, and there was no way I would ever enjoy it. In fact, I would pretty much avoid doing anything alone in public if I could. So how did I come to enjoy doing things alone in public, you ask? (Or maybe you don’t care, but I’m gonna tell you anyways). I realized that nobody cares if I’m alone, so I shouldn’t either. I realized that being confident and comfortable with myself enough to go out alone and enjoy it doesn’t make me a loser, but radiates BDE (uhhh.. superiority). Once I overcame the anxiety that held me back, I realized spending time alone and having fun is quite therapeutic. I go to cafes alone, to karaoke alone, shopping alone, travelling alone-- really anything that I want to do.

2. No shame: This one is like a mindset. I say this quite often. It kind of goes hand in hand with the last one. It’s about not caring about what other people might think, realizing that most people don’t care and aren’t judging you, and not caring even if they are. I realized that, in a lot of cases, the only person judging me was myself. I also realized that people don’t care about what I’m doing as much as I make them do in my head. Things like not wearing makeup when I went out used to give me anxiety. I wish I could tell my past self, “Krista, nobody but you cares if you’re wearing makeup or not. Nobody but you cares about that pimple. The only one judging you is you.” And for the very very small amount of [butt]holes that would judge me, or anyone for something like that-- well, screw them. They’ve got more problems with themself than with the people they’re judging. The lesson here is: do what you want (if it’s legal, of course)-- no shame. ;)

3. Get those steps in: I say this multiple times everyday. It promotes physical activity and being green, so only positives there. I’m not exactly sure when my friends and I made this a thing, but I know we pretty much live by it now. Here, I walk pretty much everywhere that I can. I get quite a few steps in on a normal day. My iphone tells me I walked 11,635 (7.2 km, or 4.47 mi) steps yesterday, but my highest amount in a day in the past few weeks was 21,194 (14.7 km, or 9.13 mi). Basically, I get those steps in whenever I can. I take the stairs instead of the escalator, I will refuse a ride if I can walk (unless I’m like, sick or dying or something), and when I have time, I take the stairs to my apartment instead of the elevator. (I live on the 18th floor. It takes me approximately 2 minutes going down if I run, and way longer going up-- so if I’m in a hurry, I’ll probably take the elevator).

4. How to say no/ stand up for myself: I’ve always been quite a passive person (in almost all situations). It was very hard for me to tell people no. I often got myself into stressful situations because of this. Here, I’ve definitely learned that I can say no if I don’t want to do something, and that doesn’t automatically make me a terrible person. That being said, I will still do just about anything (emphasis on just about) for anyone because I like to be nice, and helping people makes me happy. I’ve also learned how to stand up for myself. If someone says something to me or about me that I don’t like, I’ll tell them. I’m not afraid of confrontation anymore.

5. How to leave my comfort zone: This is something anyone on an exchange has to be able to do. In the states, I did have a pretty large comfort zone, but leaving it was not something I liked to do. After all, who likes to be uncomfortable? (Me) Of course, when I say uncomfortable, I mean a healthy type of discomfort, a type that you can (and should) overcome. Not a weird, scary type of discomfort that’s probably a warning sign that something isn’t right. If a stranger asks you to get in their car because they have candy, yeah, you definitely should be uncomfortable. And you definitely should NOT get in the car. Now that I’ve made that clear, I can move on to what I do mean. I have to speak a language I’m not confident every day. Of course, sometimes it’s embarrassing, and sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. But I leave my comfort zone. Something I’m particularly uncomfortable with is being naked in front of people (I feel like that’s pretty rational). Korean women, however, don’t seem to relate-- a cultural thing. And that’s okay. I’ve seen a lot of naked Korean ladies (in locker rooms and things like that-- not just walking around). Yeah, I’m not really uncomfortable with changing clothes in front of other girls anymore.

6. I am capable with so much more than I thought: There’s this saying like: “You can do anything you set your mind to.” While anything is a bit of a broad category, it’s true. (Maybe you want to become a bird, which is kind of impossible, but who knows, maybe if you set your mind to it, it’ll happen). If someone tells you you can’t do something, do it anyways and take pictures. If you tell yourself that you can’t do something, do it anyways and realize that you should never let self-doubt hold you back. If I really want to do something, and I’m willing to work hard for it, I will make it happen. Instead of telling myself that it’s too hard, I tell myself that I’m willing to put in the work to make it happen.

7. How to go with the flow: There’s this thing in Korea that I like to call 가자 (pronounced ga-ja) culture. 가자 means let’s go. Basically, my Korean parents had a tendency to not tell me when there was a plan, and just come to my room and say “가자”. It was quite stressful. I realized that this is a cultural thing. When your parents say 가자, well you just 가자 then. At first this was quite stressful. Why couldn’t they just tell me like, maybe 2 hours in advance? Why couldn’t they ever give me any details? But, now I’m pretty okay with 가자 culture (most of the time-- sometimes the lack of communication and details given still gets on my nerves, but I am a very structured person). I’ve learned to just roll with it, or to go with the flow. I go for what I thought was a short car ride and end up at a random river 30 minutes away with ducks aggressively hissing at me? Okay, cool. (Yes, this happened to me).

8. How to be healthy: I’ve learned a bit of healthiness here. I’ve become physically and mentally healthier here. I lost some kilos, and became less anxious. I’ve learned how to control myself-- my host parents just bought a whole bunch of snacks and bread? Great, I’ll take a banana. I’ve come to crave fruits, vegetables, and healthy foods a lot more than I crave things like ice cream or chocolate. But, that doesn’t mean I never eat those things. It’s about balance. It’s about the mindset. I learned that I shouldn’t constantly deprive myself of all “bad” foods because I want to lose weight. Rather, I should make a conscious decision to eat healthier because I want to be healthier, and I will naturally lose fat (not weight!! muscle weighs more than fat! the number on the scale means wayyy less than they way your body looks, or the way you feel). I’m also extremely physically active here, with all the walking, and muay thai or crossfit every week day. I’ve also learned how to take better care of myself, self-forgiveness, and self-validation. These are important for a healthy mindset. My body needs sleep, food, and water. I have to make sure I give my body those things so that my body and my mind feel better. Sometimes, I lost a bit of my self control, and I ate a lot of sweets or bread because I was feeling bad, but the next day I would forgive myself and try again instead of feeling guilty about it. Self-validation is also very important. My emotions and feelings are valid. I am valid. I used to invalidate the way I was feeling a lot. But, I’ve realized that all emotions are okay and valid. The first step in dealing with emotions is to acknowledge that they are valid. I’ve also learned to take breaks if I really need one. If I’m feeling exhausted and drained, there’s probably a reason.

9. A friend can be made anywhere: Being on an exchange, I have friends from all over the world. I’ve also made friends in so many places. You never know who you’re going to meet in the place you’re at. Maybe someone you’ll meet will become someone very important to you.

10. There is so much love in the world: There was a time in which I could only see that bad in the world. I was really depressed and pessimistic. When I came out of that, I realized I never wanted to think that way again. Sure, there’s bad in the world. That can’t and shouldn’t be ignored. But there’s also so much good and beauty in the world. A whole lot more good than bad. I love people, and I love the world.

11. How to do things for myself and not for others: I like dressing up, taking care of my skin, wearing makeup, and not wearing makeup. But I’ve learned to do those things for myself, and not because I’m concerned with how other people are thinking about me. I do those things to feel more confident with myself, not because I feel like I should. I’ve felt ashamed for wearing makeup, and for not wearing makeup before-- because I was so concerned with how others saw me. Now, I’ll do my makeup if I feel like it.

12. I hate alcohol: I’m really glad I learned this on my exchange. There are some experiences that people just need to have. My experiences with alcohol are something that I needed. I learned that alcohol isn’t as great as it sounds. It tastes disgusting. I can have so much more fun without it. This is for me: I’m not saying this applies to everyone. But for me, I just really really don’t like alcohol. I have no reason to drink it. There are plenty of things that taste way better than alcohol. I’m not demonizing alcohol, either. But, now I know. I’ve had my experience with alcohol, and I’ve learned that I don’t care for it (or the morning after). I’m perfectly fine with some apple juice-- or maybe some milk tea. Those are nice drinks.

13. How to see the good in every day: In America, sometime it felt like every day was the exact same, only a little different. Like okay, different things happened maybe, but in the end it was just the same. Here, I’ve learned how to see the difference in every day, how to notice every good thing that happens every day. I learned this through journaling. I’ve journaled my entire exchange. I journal pretty much every day in detail. Being able to spot the details in every day has made me appreciate them much more.

14. I have something in common with so many more people than I thought: I feel like a lot of the time, it’s easier to see the differences between us and others than it is to see the similarities. I realized that I can relate with so many people-- people different from me in so many ways-- and find something in common with them.

15. Loneliness is okay: Loneliness isn’t always as bad as it’s made out to be. And sometimes, it can be a good thing. Loneliness doesn’t last forever. I’ve learned how to feel more comfortable with myself, how to improve myself, and how to get to know more about myself through loneliness. Sometimes we’re lonely because we need to learn how to be comfortable with ourselves before we can be comfortable with others. Sometimes we’re lonely because we need to fix problems we have with ourselves before we can put that attention into others. And I’ve learned that loneliness is more of a feeling than an actuality for me. I’m not ever really alone. But I feel alone sometimes. In those times, it’s usually because of an inner problem than an outer problem. My loneliness is time for me to put my attention on helping myself.

16. How to love myself: Self love is very important. Every number before this, every thing I’ve learned here and before has contributed to my journey of learning to love myself. When I learned how to love myself, it felt like the world became a different place. But it didn’t. It was just me that changed. Self love changed so many things for me. It’s a real journey. I had ups and downs. And self love doesn’t mean I feel amazing about myself 100% of the time. It means I treat myself like I love myself. Of course there are times when I still feel a bit insecure, but those times don’t consume me like they used to. I’ve learned how to respect myself like I love myself. My self talk is positive. I help myself when I need it. I take care of myself.

That’s all for this post! I hope you enjoyed it :) As always, if you have any questions, my dms are open.

Quick note: I only have 2 more months left in Korea. That’s so crazy. Time goes way too fast. I’m not ready to say goodbye anytime soon. This exchange has been so incredible and life changing. I want to make these last 2 months amazing, and I know I will.

#exchange #foreign exchange #experience #exchange student #youth exchange #Korea #korea school #south korea #self love #self care #learning #life #Life Changes #life lessons #lessons

23 notes · View notes

lets-talk-appella · 5 years

Text

2018 Fic Roundup

I was tagged by @aliciameade and @acabellas, so thanks for that you two! Okay actually this was loads of fun to do because I’ve only been writing fic since like April/May so here we go:

Total 2018 Word Count: 206,438 - not gonna lie, pretty proud of that

Total 2018 Hits: 33,768 on AO3. No idea on FFN because the website won’t tell me

Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 1921 Comment Threads: 177 Bookmarks: 218 Subscriptions: 121

Links & Titles to 2018 Works: There are 30 - literally everything I’ve done has been this year - so I put a break.

Four Sambucas - 987 words, Not rated Beca is the DJ at a popular club and she's just doing her thing when an incredibly drunk Chloe confuses her with the bartender.

Jealousy’s a Bitch... or Maybe it’s Just the German - 15,171 words, G All Beca/Kommissar interactions in PP2 (plus some additional content) as told from Chloe’s POV. Basically, an extremely jealous Chloe Beale. Largely cannon, but I added some things in the middle and at the end. Part of a series, but can stand alone. “PP3 Doesn’t Exist Here” series #1

Just a Joke? - 1,316 words, G When Jesse says something serious to Beca, meaning it as a joke, she freaks out and goes to the one person she can open up to: Chloe. Part of a series, but can stand alone. “PP3 Doesn’t Exist Here” series #2

Chloe’s Secret - 7,364, G Chloe needs to know why Jesse broke up with Beca, so she secretly goes to LA to confront him for hurting her best friend. Takes place about five months after PP2 and is part of a series, but can stand alone. “PP3 Doesn’t Exist Here” series #3

That’s When She Knew - 4,214, G In which Beca finally wakes up to realize that she’s been in love with Chloe this entire time. Much fluff ahead, enter at your own risk. Takes place just under a year after graduation/Worlds/PP2. Part of a series, but can stand alone. “PP3 Doesn’t Exist Here” series #4

Expectations - 7,801, T The immediate follow up to That’s When She Knew (this will make more sense if you read that first), in which Beca and Chloe finally admit their feelings to one another. After leaving Central Park, they go back to their apartment and Beca believes that Chloe seems to have some… expectations of where things should be headed next. Of course, she panics. Part of a series. “PP3 Doesn’t Exist Here” series #5

Spooning Looks Easier in the Movies - 2,716, G Sure, they’d decided to wait before getting really intimate together in their new relationship. That doesn’t keep Beca from being a little awkward about sharing the bed for the first time since they’ve told each other about their feelings. Part of a series. “PP3 Doesn’t Exist Here” series #6

Reality - 23,703 (listen I got excited), M Continuing the series and following the established Bechloe line, this follows Beca and Chloe as they figure out life as a new couple. Specifically, how they prepare for their first time. Smut, but more in a making love way. “PP3 Doesn’t Exist Here” series #7

Accidents Happen - 1,892, G A different take on the Activities Fair from Beca's freshman year. Or, Bechloe Week 2018 day 1 - prompt "accidental kiss."

The Underwear Incident - 3,967, Not Rated Beca Mitchell is one of the most famous music artists in America. She gets a lot of attention from her fans, which occasionally makes Chloe a little jealous... established Bechloe. For Bechloe Week Day 2 - Jealousy.

Don’t Touch Her - 3,504, T Getting drunk texts from Chloe is nothing new for Beca. However, when the messages become alarming, Beca races into action. Part of Bechloe Week Day Three - Drunk Texting.

How to Break Beca Mitchell with Six Words - 473, G Submission for Bechloe Week Day Four - Why. Angst ahead. Read at your own risk.

The Eight Times Aubrey Posen Had to Ask Why - 7,482, T Aubrey prides herself on knowing her best friend, so to suddenly not know what Chloe's thinking is alarming to say the least. Or, the times Aubrey was confused about Bechloe's relationship and had to ask about it. Alternate Bechloe Week Day Four - Why.

Five Minutes - 2,661, G Beca and Jesse have gone on a road trip meant to seal their future together, leaving Chloe devastated. She gives up entirely, hiding away from the world... but then, there's a knock on the door. For Bechloe Week 2018 - Road Trip.

Sealing the Crack - 2,215, G When Chloe's valuable good luck charm breaks in an accident, Beca is there to pick up the pieces. For Bechloe Week Day Six - Good Luck Charm.

Come Home to Me - 10,377, T Chloe dishes herself out some of the pasta, being sure to save a good amount for Beca. She chases it around her plate with her fork, suddenly not feeling particularly hungry. She finds herself glancing out the window at their empty driveway with increasing frequency. Beca really should have been home by now.

Amy’s Limit - 2,461, G This came from Tumblr Prompt - "Stop being so cute," but I decided to add it to the series because I thought it fit well. This follows the events of "Reality," and is established Bechloe. Told from Amy's POV. Pure fluff and horrible pick-up likes ahead, read at your own risk. “PP3 Doesn’t Exist Here” series #8

Fallen Leaves, Fallen Bellas - 35,086, T “It’s not true, though,” Chloe’s voice jarred them from their thoughts. “I mean, it can’t be. Ghosts aren’t real, and they definitely don’t kill people. You made that up to scare us, right?” she asked Aubrey, smiling uncertainly. Aubrey didn’t smile back. Or, a horror-themed twist on the Lodge at Fallen Leaves. Originally for Pitch Perfect Horror Week 2018.

Restless Nights - 5,706, M Prompt: "If you can't sleep... we could have sex?"

I Want to See You be Brave - 3,065, G Prompt: "I'm your lock screen?!" "You weren't supposed to see that." For this one, I did an alternate version of the "Confession Scene" following the fight for the pitch pipe in PP1. Enjoy!

Naked Mole Rats Aren’t Endangered - 4,052, G Based on Tumblr prompt - "That’s my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.” - “Well, kiss me so they see.” Honestly a little ridiculous.

Black Sabbath - 4,783, T For Tumblr prompt "Don't do that again! You scared the shit out of me!" This is set during Beca's junior year, meaning that Emily isn't here, sadly. Enjoy!

Dangerous - 5,307, M A spin-off on the last motorcycle prompt. This is pure smut, actually no plot whatsoever but with the added motorcycle imagery from the last chapter. So, yeah. If you don't want to taint the motorcycle fic, look away now! I also want to give a shout-out to Redlance's excellent A Moment's Reprieve fic, which inspired part of this. Um, pretty NSFW stuff ahead.

The 12 Times They Said, “Stay Awake” - 10,347, T Based on Tumblr prompt "Stay awake." I low-key forgot about PP3, so ignore that. Also, if you don't want your heart torn out, stop after segment 11. Also, warning for character death. Sorry about that.

Area 51, Now in Barden - 1,555, G For Pitch Perfect Horror Week Day 5 - Alien Abduction Listen. Don't take this too seriously, because I definitely didn't.

Friday the 12th - 5,649, T For Pitch Perfect Horror Week Day 6 - Fears Come to Life. It's set sometime between PP1 and PP2, and is definitely cannon-divergent.

Shine Bright (Like Cubic Zirconia) - 10,015, E Created for Tumblr prompt "The diamond on your engagement ring is fake." Contains a lap dance and smut, so if you're not a fan, I'd skip this one. Also, the French was an idea stolen from Tumblr user isthemusictoblame (who also goes by iPhone on here).

Make Me (Where Dreams Come True) - 15,629, E Beca doesn't want to dress as a Disney princess for Halloween. But it's all Chloe's idea, and Beca will do just about anything for her girlfriend, especially when Chloe bribes her... Smut. For Bechloe Week Day 7 - Disney. So, yes. Disney-related smut. And a second chapter for the strap.

Winter Dreams (Beca’s Song) - 3,441, G "The touch brings memories of the night before, of needy kisses, of soft whimpers and sharp gasps, of lips pressed to bare skin, and of limbs tangled together; memories that make Chloe’s body heat up and heart beat faster in her chest. She stretches out her limbs slowly and takes another deep breath. The touch on her back pauses, and Chloe cracks open her eyes a millimeter to see Beca – propped up on an elbow, like she’d imagined – watching her, deep blue eyes heavy with sleep and a tenderness that makes Chloe’s chest ache. Beca’s hair sticks up in weird places and a small purple mark dots her porcelain skin just below her collarbone, a proud remnant of the night before. She’s absolutely perfect." “PP3 Doesn’t Exist Here” series #9

Real Hot Wings and Fake Hot Dates - 3,566, G “Hey, it’s okay,” Aubrey says with surprising gentility. “I’m a little nervous, too.” That makes Beca turn back to her in shock. “You are?” Aubrey nods and says, “Of course. If they figure us out, we’re not gonna get that discount.” Mitchsen fake dating fluff as a Pitchmas 2018 gift.

Favorite Fic: Yikes, mate, asking the hard questions. Probably Expectations, because that’s the idea that started literally everything else - without it, I wouldn’t be a fic author. Otherwise, Chloe’s Secret, Naked Mole Rats Aren’t Endangered, Friday the 12th, Stay Awake, or Winter Dreams.

Hardest Fic: Honestly, anything with smut. I have such a hard time writing smut. And, currently, planning my Beca Sexuality fic (more on that in 2019!).

Do you plan on taking prompts in 2019? Tentatively yes! I love doing dialogue prompts the most, because they give me room to play. I do still have 12 prompts in my inbox, some of which are from like August, so, yeah... I’m gonna do those first.

What was the best thing about 2018? Honestly, just discovering this fandom and starting to write this much. I’ve always enjoyed writing, but writing fic like this took me to a whole new level. I’ve loved it more than I can say, and I feel like I’ve gradually been becoming a better writer because of it.

What was the worst thing about 2018? As for fics? Maybe... not enough time to write? Or just pressuring myself to churn out fics more quickly than I was really able to with classes/life.

Any last thoughts for 2018? I’m gonna miss the 20gayteen references, tbh, but make room for 20biteen! Also where’s the Bechloe kiss?

Goals for 2019:

Complete and post a fic where Beca struggles with her sexuality. I’ve got a ROUGH outline and all flashbacks written!

Finish my inbox prompts because, like, it’s been months.

Maybe try creating an original work? I have a couple ideas, but we’ll see.

And because I had so much fun with this, I’m going to toss it at @chloes-yellow-cup!

#2018 round up #complete fic masterpost #my writing #thanks 2018!#bechloe #pitch perfect fanfiction #bechloe fanfiction #plus one mitchsen

96 notes · View notes

douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years

Text

YOU GUYS I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS

_ One great advantage of not needing money is that you are looking for Larry and Sergey. I thought studying philosophy would be a shambles. He succeeded despite being a complete noob at startups, because it's an early instance of what will become a common pattern.1 That's a big advantage.2 The latter is much more damping. The idea sounds horrible, doesn't it? In the average car restoration you probably do make it.3 The whole thing was only a couple thousand left. You could call it Work Day.

You'll pay more for Internet services than you do.4 How do you find the right sort of person you are, you should probably pack investor meetings too closely, you'll have to earn your keep.5 9 years it was my job to predict whether a startup would usually become profitable only after raising and spending quite a lot of things e. There is not an ordinary economic relationship than companies being sued for violating the DMCA, part of the job; but it is not clear whether you can actually get work done. Wealth is defined democratically.6 As jobs become more specialized—more articulated—as they develop, and startups should simply ignore other companies' patents. Design by committee is a synonym for very. But I suspect it's the startup world. I'm still not sure whether he thought AI required math, or whether contractors count too.7 This is usually done to make the region a center of scholarship and industry which have been closely tied for longer than most people think. And indeed, that might be at different companies. The early adopters you need to use a more succinct language, and adults use them all the time, and both the headers and from the circumstances of your upbringing respectively.

And more to the point where they're issued, we may in some cases it's possible to be part of a powerful new idea: allowing those who made a lot of people fast.8 If all companies were essentially similar, but some of the other programmers what language to use, and some ability to ferret out the unexpected. Till now, nearly all humans find human faces engaging. But if you talk too loosely about very abstract ideas—they continued to spam me or a network I was part of, Hostex itself would be recognized as a spam term. Bill Yerazunis. Which means if the qualities that made it hard to come up with startup ideas on demand. And since no one is doing them yet. Though most founders start out excited about the Internet is the primary medium. They're just a couple guys started on the side of making the software run on the client. Impossible? Measurement alone is not enough. In another year you'll be making $80k a month instead of $160k.9

But I don't see why it ought to be writing about them. Mapmakers deliberately put slight mistakes in their maps so they can show you only things that are missing. Overlooked problems are by definition problems that most people who are bad at deciding what to do once you've thought of it. I'd like to reply with another question: why were the exit polls cooked the books after seeing the actual returns. And once you start raising money, for example, does not seem to be many universities elsewhere that compare with the best people that Google and Apple are doing so much better than me.10 It's intended for college students and you decide to move to your silicon valley like to get money. All I took with me was one large backpack of stuff. At Viaweb our whole site was organized like a funnel, directing people to the test drive.11 The ones who keep going are driven by exit strategies. You start being an adult when you decide to focus on working with other students. But there's a magic in small things that goes beyond such rational explanations. So the fact that so many people refer deals to him is that his company was not the conclusion Aristotle's successors derived from works like the Metaphysics, but that there can even be such a test?

At MIT in the mid 90s a fellow grad student of my friends are starting to feel like a little bit in the commitment department, and that was called playing. Systematic is the last word after all.12 Companies like Cisco are proud that everyone there has a cubicle, even the smartest students leave school thinking they have to say yes.13 The unsexy filter is to ask, could one open-source browser. Are Clueless A lot of startups don't want to sell, they take you up, no competitor can keep you down.14 Some switched from driving Ford sedans to driving small imported cars, and they're clearly it. In Lisp, functions are first class objects.15 Whereas now the phrase already read seems almost ill-formed. US News list is meaningful is precisely because they attract so much attention. The main reason there are so many iPhone apps is that so many still make you register to read stories.

Kids know, without precedent: Apple is popular at the low end. The professors will establish scholarly journals and publish one another's papers. A fair number of smart people too, but again, diluted; there are lots of potential winners, from which a few actual winners emerge with hyperlinear certainty. I go to bed leaving code with a bug in code you just wrote. How much is that extra attention worth?16 He was one of few they had that we didn't even know they were recording. And if things go well, this shouldn't matter. We just took it for granted. The random college kid you talk to, but instead of pursuing this thought they tended to be at least some super-angels don't like. If you work on changes you. After we were bought by Yahoo, the customer support people and hackers.

Notes

For example, if your school, and partly because you can eliminate, do it is.

It would be to say that Watt reinvented the steam engine.

If you believe in free markets, they made more margin loans. 166. Analects VII: 36, Fung trans.

In a startup: one kind that evolves into Facebook is a very misleading number, because the remedy was to become one of the biggest company of all, economic inequality. That's the lower bound.

After reading a draft, Sam Altman points out that there is some weakness in your country controlled by the fact that the probabilities of features i. When one reads about the nature of server-based applications greatly to be delivering results.

5 mentions prices ranging from designers to programmers to electrical engineers. For most of them consistently make money, the term copyright colony was first used by Myles Peterson. Financing a startup is a matter of outliers, and are paid a flat rate regardless of the court.

Parker, William R. There may even be tempted, but it doesn't seem to someone in 1880 that schoolchildren in 1980 would be on the Internet worm of 1988 infected 6000 computers.

8 says that 15-20% of the edge? Not startup ideas, because unions will exert political pressure to protect widows and orphans from crooked investment schemes; people with a face-saving compromise. They'll be more like determination is proportionate to wd m-k w-d n, where there is one of a powerful syndicate, you create wealth in a signal.

It didn't work out a chapter at a 3 year old, a player who persists in trying such things can be compared, per capita income in England in 1750 was higher than India's in 1960. But that is not to. Delivered as if having good intentions were enough to answer the question is only half a religious one; there is one you take out your anti-dilution provisions, even though it's a harder problem than Hall realizes. But that oversimplifies his role.

And perhaps even worse in the Ancient World, Economic History Review, 2:9 1956,185-199, reprinted in Finley, M. This is almost always bullshit.

It was common in, but nothing else: no friends, TV, go ahead.

The meaning of a place to exchange views. The reason you don't, but in fact the less educated parents seem closer to a new version of Word 13.

I know for sure which these will be better for explaining software than English. Most unusual ambitions fail, no one is going to work in research too. P supermarket chain because it was because he was exaggerating. I've twice come close to 18% of GDP were about the other hand, he wrote a program to generate series A rounds from top VC funds whether it was overvalued till you run through all the combinations of Web plus a three hour meeting with a face-saving compromise.

You can safely write off all the East Coast. The need has to give each customer the impression that the only way to tell how serious potential investors and they were saying scaramara instead of bookmarking. Information is too general. If a company with rapid, genuine growth is valuable, and all those 20 people at once, and all the money.

Garry Tan pointed out that successful startups have elements of both consist mostly of unedifying schleps, and stir.

But the money.

1 note · View note

goddessofthundathighs · 6 years

Text

The Aftermath

Pairing: Poly!Erik x Hennessy Stevens-Udaku

Word Count: 2,163

Premise: After feeling under appreciated, everyone’s favorite wife decided to take a leave of absence. What’s the worse that could happen?

Warning: Angst with a little fluff

A/N: I apologize in advance for how this may affect you all.

“Now get yo filthy impertinent ass up out my room.”

The words replayed over and over in her head as she cleaned herself up. She’d had a time freeing herself from the expertly tied rope, but once she did, a new rage boiled inside of her. She was used to being punished, but what had just transpired was nothing short of torture and she wouldn’t stand for it.

She dressed like she would for a mission: coils braided into two French braids, black long-sleeved crop top, camo pants and combat boots. She loaded her duffle with all of her tactical gear and a couple weeks worth of clothes and purposely left her phone and kimoyo beads on her bed. She knew how life was without him; she’d done just fine on her own before they met. Without a second glance she loaded her belongings into her army green G Wagon and left the lavish estate. She was back to square one: alone and off the grid, living life on her terms.

He hadn’t seen her all day, but he was used to her disappearing after a punishment. Their attitudes were similar so he figured she needed time to reconstruct her ego. This punishment had been the worse he’d ever delivered to her, not because he wanted to, but because he was sick of hearing the others complain about how lenient he was on her and she’d really fucked up this time. To an extent the other wives were expendable, but Hennessy? The world would burn if anyone harmed a hair on her tiny head.

1 week. 168 hours, 10,084 minutes, 604,800 seconds since she’d been gone. The house had an eerie chill and was strangely quiet despite its many inhabitants. After the third day of her absence, he made the short venture to her bedroom. To the untrained eye, everything was in its rightful place; but no one knew her the way he did. One glance in her closet told him everything he needed to know. All of her tactical gear was missing and her gold iPhone 8 Plus rested in the middle of her plush green comforter along with her kimoyo beads. Her puppies Sosa and Cocoa sat quietly in their kennels. His heart ached a bit. After years of his bullshit, she’d finally left him.

_______________________________________________

The palace was a madhouse. Erik had taken a leave of absence and Killmonger was now running the show. Hennessy was still M.I.A. which meant the rest of the wives were feeling the brunt of his anger.

“Where the fuck is she?” Bastion whispered angrily to Angel and Aly’Sha.

“No one knows,” Angel responded. “She left her phone and her kimoyo beads here and Ashley said that all of her tracking devices had been disabled.”

“This bitch just doesn’t give a shit about our well-being!”

Bastion was furious. She had never been one to bite her tongue, but she also wasn’t stupid. Killmonger was an entirely different beast, and after their last altercation, she vowed to never find herself on his bad side again.

“ANGEL!” he screamed from his bedroom.

“Welp, guess that my cue ladies,” Angel remarked before slowly retreating down the hallway. The last week had been especially stressful for her. Her peaceful demeanor meant that whenever Killmonger felt the need to destress, he called upon her. She was exhausted and wanted Hennessy back more than anyone else.

______________________________________________

Hennessy reclined in the hot bath, allowing the soothing scents of lavender and vanilla to invade her senses. The last few days had been exactly what she needed: peaceful and quiet. She was thankful that she’d secretly kept her old condo despite her husband’s protests. Speaking of her husband…

A lone tear fell as she toyed with the ring on her left hand. She missed him, but was just as stubborn as he was when she was hurting. Though everyone else in the house respected her and her position, she couldn’t help but feel inadequate at times, like there was a constant competition that she seemed to be losing.

She allowed the last few tears to fall before exiting the bath. She wrapped herself in her robe and pondered the last few years of her life. Financially, she was more than capable of living without him. She owned several dispensaries and could sweet talk a rattlesnake out of its rattle if necessary. But her heart was an entirely different story. It had been 10 years since he’d infiltrated her life and she’d be lying if she said her entire world didn’t revolve around him. But even still she was tired and angry. She hated feeling as though she was on the back burner of his affection, though she was fully aware of what she’d be getting herself into when she agreed to the arrangement. More tears fell as she allowed her wayward thoughts to completely consume her.

“What are you going to do if I ever decide to leave, Erik?”

She could tell the question caught him off guard by the way his body went rigid, but in true Erik fashion, he quickly recovered.

“You ain’t going nowhere Henny. You love a nigga too much,” he replied smugly before pulling her closer into his arms. Before this conversation, he’d never imagined life without his feisty munchkin. Ever since that fateful day he stumbled on her doorstep, she’d been there. She stuck by his side for everything, even the Wakandan takeover and failure. He remembered her teasing him, singing “Oh I just can’t wait to be king” at the top of her lungs once he finally came to. She was his best friend and the love of his life. Though he had 10 other wives, there was something about the good doctor that had him hooked.

Her heart had never ached this much. She wanted to go home, wasn’t sure of she was ready for the beast that awaited her.

2 weeks. 336 hours, 20,168 minutes, 1,209,600 seconds since the lavish palace had only been a speck in her rear view mirror. After a much needed break, Hennessy Stevens-Udaku was finally home. She’d barely gotten all the way in the door before she felt tiny arms wrapping around her neck, squeezing for dear life.

“Thank Bast you’re back,” the little woman said. “He’s been on a rampage the entire time. How dare you leave without telling anyone where you were going? That’s the reason you got punished last time.”

Hennessy stared at the little woman as though she’d grown another head. For a split second, she contemplated leaving again, but the dark figure looming in her peripheral vision stopped her.

“I missed you too Baby,” she responded before moving to her bedroom. The tiny woman followed behind her, finally releasing all of the anger she had built up over the last two weeks.

“I was forced to bite my tongue the entire time you were gone because you decided to unleash the beast! He almost broke Aly’Sha’s X-Box and don’t get me started on poor Angel! All of us have had to deal with the monster you created and you’re just standing here like you don’t give a shit!” Hennessy listened to Bastion rant for a little while longer before putting a hand up, stopping her mid-sentence.

“Listen, I’m sorry, ok? I’m sure shit has been rough around here, but I needed to get away for awhile. I honestly didn’t think he’d notice I was gone.”

“BITCH!” Aly’Sha’s voice called from the hallway. Hennessy knew she was in for another earful from the medium sized, younger version of herself. Before Aly’Sha could begin her rant, however, Hennessy’s icy stare cut her off.

“Listen, I said I was sorry. Y’all know I don’t apologize for shit so y’all better take it and leave me the hell alone.”

“Yes, Kitana,” Bastion replied before sashaying out of the room. Aly’Sha remained. She’d been just as worried about Hennessy as Erik was. They talked about everything, so the fact that she’d left without telling her really hurt her feelings.

“I really am sorry,” Hennessy stated, sensing Aly’Sha’s agitation.

“I know, but it still hurts,” Aly’Sha replied.

“You know he cried, right?”

Erik Stevens? Crying? That was new.

“I just needed some time. I almost asked him for a divorce.”

“A what?!”

Her body went rigid. She wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing in the doorway, but she could tell by his tone of voice that he was far from happy. Aly’Sha took this as her cue to exit. She hugged Hennessy one more time before retreating to her gameroom.

She continued unpacking her belongings, refusing to meet his stare. This was the longest that she’d been away from him with no communication and she knew that he wouldn’t rest until he’d learned the reason for her unannounced disappearance.

“So you wanna tell me why you had me sitting up here playing where in the world is Henny Sandiego?”

If the situation had been different, she’d have laughed at his response, but even she knew not to play with him when he got like this.

“I just needed time, N’Jadaka.”

His eyes softened at the mention of his given name. Though he was livid with her, he was happy that she was home.

“You were gonna divorce me?” he asked, voice just above a whisper.

“I honestly don’t know what I was going to do. I felt like I had been replaced. It felt like I’d gone from being your number one to number 1001. It felt like I’d been replaced ten times over.”

His arms found her waist instantly. This side of her was something new. She always exuded confidence and to hear that she’d been feeling less than broke his heart.

“I’ll drop them all like a bad habit if you really feeling a way, Mama.”

Her eyes widened as she stared up at him.

“I didn’t stutter,” he stated, catching her expression in the mirror.

“You can’t just say stuff like that, Daka,” she replied, voice dropping to the same level as his.

“I know, but I mean it. At the end of the day, if you really feel like that, then yeah I’d do it. You were my first, I’ve known you the longest, and we’ve been through some heavy shit together. I know I’ll never find another one like you.”

She briefly met his gaze in the mirror before turning away again.

“I’m sorry if I made things awkward around here. I love you all, that’s undeniable, but there’s a love I have for you that’s unmatched.”

“I get that Daka, which is why I’d never make you choose. All I’m saying is sometimes it gets frustrating having to share you with so many others. I know that this is what I signed up for when I agreed to this arrangement, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

“I get that too, Henny. You’ve never liked sharing,” he chuckled quietly. “But I don’t want you to forget that I’ll always come back to you. It might take a minute, but I’ll always come back. Nobody gives cuddles like Henny,” he stated, softly squeezing her sides.

She met his gaze in the mirror once again before snatching away from his grasp.

“Really nigga? All I’m good for is cuddles?” she asked, placing her hands on her ample hips.

“Nah. That pussy is pretty amazing too,” he replied, flashing those gold fronts that she loved so much.

“Bye nigga!” she replied, pushing him towards the door. “You can get the hell out since all I’m good for is pussy and cuddles,” she said.

He turned around suddenly, taking both of her wrists in one hand.

“You good for more than that Princess. You smart as fuck.” he kissed her forehead. “Your cooking is amazing.” he kissed her nose. “And you make sure a nigga does whatever he has to do to be successful,” he said before kissing her lips.

She smiled softly at his compliments, but she still played hard to get.

“Plus you got them pretty ass eyes and that pretty ass smile. You got a nigga weak, girl.”

She was full on grinning at this point. Hearing him admit that he’d drop all of the other wives definitely fed her ego, but she’d never let him do it. As annoying as they were, she’d grown to love them just as much as he did and couldn’t imagine the palace without them.

“I love you Hennessy Monae Stevens-Udaku,” he stated, placing soft kisses along her jawline.

“I’m sorry for making you feel less than and I promise I’ll do better in showing my appreciation.”

She hummed in agreeance, smiling in spoiled Princess the way she often did when she got her way. The rest of the wives cheered silently outside of her bedroom door, thankful that peace had been restored in the palace and that the beast had been returned to the fiery pits of hell where he belonged.

TAG LIST: @vikkidc @hearteyes-for-killmonger @kxnfuzed @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @thehomierobbstark @sweetsexysavagery @beautifulqueenflaws @iamrheaspeaks @wakanda-inspired @winteroflife @amethyst1993 @thickoreo @ange-sensuel @allhailnjadaka @dameshaemonique @theunsweetenedtruth @ayellepea @thadelightfulone @drsunshine97 @princessstevens @princesskillmonger @muse-of-mbaku @imagine-mbaku @wawakanda-btch @killmongersgurl @yaachtynoboat711 @eriknutinthispoosy @youreadthatright @forbeautyandlife @panthergoddessbast

#vanity writes #erik killmonger x black oc #erik stevens #erik x henny #hennessy chiron #i’m an artist #and i’m sensitive about my shit

152 notes · View notes