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voiceless-terror · 3 years

Text

Jon plays the piano. That’s it, that’s the fic.

At first, he thinks it’s the radio. It’s not uncommon for these stores to play classical music, trying to add an air of sophistication in what’s otherwise a dark room of dusty knicknacks. But when he walks towards the noise, he instead finds Jon sitting at the bench of an old wooden upright, his posture straighter than Tim’s ever seen it, hands moving slowly but deftly across the keys as he leans into each note.

It’s mesmerizing.

Jon must hear his footsteps as he doesn’t startle when Tim sits beside him. “You never told me you could play,” Tim says, too enthralled to be truly annoyed by it. Jon gives him a self-deprecating smile, though his eyes don’t leave the keys.

“I can’t, not anymore,” he responds in complete defiance of his actions. Tim’s always loved Jon’s hands, delicate and slender and naturally elegant in all of their movements; even the most awkward of gestures made with a sort of grace. He shouldn’t be surprised that he plays so wonderfully. But Jon’s always been protective of his interests, careful not to volunteer too much information lest he be laughed at or scorned. Sometimes, when it’s only the two of them, and occasionally Sasha, he’ll let his guard down and his enthusiasm for even the most mundane of subjects is surprisingly contagious.

“Well, seeing as how I can only do Hot Cross Buns, I think you can, actually.”

“Middle C is flat,” Jon continues as if Tim hadn’t spoken, his brow furrowing in annoyance. He taps at the key a few times, but Tim’s never had a good ear for that sort of thing, so he’ll have to take Jon’s word for it. “They should really keep this in better condition, it’s a shame.” He stops his tapping but his hands still flutter over the keys as if they itch to play more. Tim would gladly sit here all day and listen.

“What was that?” He nudges Jon’s shoulder, pleased when Jon leans further into his side.

“Satie. From his Trois Gymnopedies.”

“Ooh, nice accent,” he teases, though he does indeed love it. “Someone passed their French A-level.”

“Shut up,” Jon butts his head affectionately against his shoulder, his face flushing. “You’re just as bad with your insufferable Italian.”

“Alright, alright,” Tim lets out a small laugh. “It’s just, you never said. Seems like you enjoy it.”

“I did,” Jon replies, his eyes going distant. He gets like that, when he talks about his past. Tim knows very little of it, though Jon insists there’s ‘nothing to know.’ Jon’s told him about what brought him to the institute in a rare moment of vulnerability, but other than that, he knows the bare minimum. “I still do, I suppose. You know, my Gran was the one who actually pushed me into the lessons.”

Jon doesn’t talk much about his grandmother. He remembers back when he first started, Jon disappeared for a week and Sasha kept checking her phone anxiously. Tim later found out that his grandmother had died, that Jon was the only one left to take care of such things. That Jon was an orphan. That Jon came back with that stiff upper lip even though he looked like shit, and promptly crumbled when Tim gave him an awkward, one-armed condolence hug.

From what Tim knows, she wasn’t the greatest guardian. Far from it in his opinion. But she was all Jon had.

Not anymore.

“Said I needed something to distract me from- from-'' his voice stutters out and Tim wraps his arm around Jon’s waist- he knows. He doesn’t need the explanation. “Well, she wasn’t the type of person to recommend therapy. It was her way of showing that she cared.” Or just wanted you dealt with, Tim doesn’t voice.

“Did it work?” He knows the answer.

“Not at all,” Jon smirks and his hands abruptly fly across the keys in a lively, fast tune. Jon isn’t just good, he’s excellent. The way his eyes brighten and his face lights up - the man’s in his element. “Still enjoyed it, though. And I was pretty good at it, entered a few competitions.” Pretty good is more than an understatement, but Jon’s never been one to brag over things that truly matter.

“What’s this one called?”

“Rondo alla ingharese quasi un capriccio,” Jon rolls out in an over-exaggerated Italian accent. “More commonly known as Rage Over a Lost Penny.”

“You could’ve just said that.”

“I could’ve, yes,” he replies playfully, the lilting tones of the music perfectly matching his little smile. He’s an infuriating little bastard. Tim loves it.

“You didn’t want to go professional? Hit the big time?”

“Hardly,” Jon snorts in derision, his hands stilling again. “Gran was right, it wasn’t practical. No use paying for a degree in music when so few people make it.” The music, still lively, goes a bit softer. “Didn’t stop me from auditioning, though.”

“Really?” He tries to imagine a young Jon in front of a panel of judges. “Must have been nerve-wracking.”

“Indeed.” Jon says stiffly, his hands abruptly stopping as they hit a sour note. “I had a panic attack before my hands hit the keys.”

Tim winces in sympathy. “Oh, Jon…”

“And I haven’t played since.” Tim reaches out to take Jon’s hands in his own, although the man avoids his eyes. Jon puts up a hard exterior, but he’s very easily wounded. One wrong word, one bad experience- it’s internalized, played over and over in his head. People don’t realize that about him, but Tim knows better than others that the mind keeps score. “I think a part of me knew she was right. Shouldn’t have bothered.”

“That’s a pity,” Tim once again wishes Jon had one person he could’ve relied on as a child. One adult he could confide in or get encouragement from. He thinks about young Jon, tiny and traumatized and alone, and his chest aches with it. “I think you could’ve made it.”

“Sweet of you.” Jon leans against his side and closes his eyes. “But there’s no need to flatter.”

“It’s not flattery if it’s true,” Tim insists. And yeah, maybe he’s not well-versed in music, but he knows talent and passion when he sees it. He used to see it in his brother all the time. And it’s sad that Jon doubts himself so much. He should be able to at least enjoy his hobby without being reminded of the guilt and what-could’ve-beens.

“Always wanted to learn an instrument,” he begins carefully, letting go of one of Jon’s hands to tinker at the keys. “Maybe I’ll get a keyboard, you can show me the ropes.”

The hand still in his twitches, and he turns to see the small beginnings of a shy smile. Jon’s a good teacher, patient and kind when someone shows a genuine interest in what he has to say. And Tim would do anything to see that easy, boyish smile again, see those fingers flying across the keys with such enjoyment.

“Not sure if you can afford my rates, Stoker.”

“Hey-!”

A cough cuts into his argument. It’s the old woman who sat behind the counter as they arrived, and she’s looking at a spot somewhere above Tim’s ahead. He turns around.

DO NOT TOUCH.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” he drags Jon up from the seat, ignoring his squeak. “We’ll just be going now!”

They sprint out of the store, giggling like naughty school children the entire way. Jon’s genuine laughter is rare, and something to be treasured - nothing like the sarcastic snorts he usually prefers.

“Damn!” Jon swears as he checks his watch, smile still lingering on his face despite the furrow in his brow. “We were supposed to interview that witness at noon, it’s already half past.”

“Don’t worry, this was a necessary detour,” Tim assures him. And for him, it was. “Piano could’ve been haunted, after all.”

Jon rolls his eyes as he barks out a laugh. “Haunted. Yes, of course.”

On the train, Tim googles how much a keyboard costs. He’s thinking he might take it up after all.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31219403

#my writing #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #tim stoker #jontim #something for jontim week that i never finished until now #i just think that jon should play an instrument #and tim should appreciate :)#precanon #reblogs appreciated <3

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sportyclown · 3 years

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how sawamura, miyuki, yuki, and kuramochi text (friends + s/os)

will most likely do a part 2 with more boys at a later date! these got freakishly long because i am, at my core, a very mad. also might revisit as i get re-familiar with the characters, i just had this idea floating around in my head. also the way these got pro

sawamura eijun

no matter who he texts, it’s always extremely extra. not only does he always give more information than you asked for – ex. if you text him wya? he will give you a play by play of his entire route or something

he also uses tons of emoticons. and yes I do mean emoticons, baby boy has a flip phone. ifhe does eventually get a smart phone, then this boy overuses tf out of emojis. he’s the sort of person that sees someone use a combination of emojis he likes and then tries to copy them, but uses it completely incorrectly, but its v cute.

if you send him a meme, he will respond with an unnecessary amount of hahas.

when he’s texting his lil bae, they’re always on his mind so he ofc texts them every thought that comes to his mind! when he sees something that reminds him of you, he won’t hesitate to share it with you.

if you have been together for a long time, then we will definitely text you words of affirmation and be very honest/blunt about how he feels about you. he’s also always sure to ask you about your day - and he seriously cares. but i still i feel like with a s/o he would prefer facetime to texting just because he likes to see you :)

overall, a very adorable texter and his enthusiasm is just as contagious when texting as it is in person. he’s kind of clueless so he doesn’t pick up on subtext. so be blunt, just like he will be with you~

kuromochi youichi

my bias might be showing here, but I feel like he is one of the most well-adjusted boys in terms of being ready for a serious relationship tbh (at least post-high school). i mean we all saw that he regularly corresponded with wakana wish that were me lmao

i think he would most often use proper capitalization, but not to the point where he uses a period after every text

would send his friends news articles about his favorite fighting games where u like gaming or not

a meme fiend in general. the sort of person who uses reaction images of people he knows. (if you’re dating, he would still have a stash of funny pics/screenshots of you on ft, but he’d ofc only use them with you <3). his convos with his friends are rarely serious

i don’t think he’d be the type to text haha out loud, but he does use LOL on occasion. with close friends/his lil bae he might send a voice memo of him laughing hysterically if you send him something REALLY funny. ugh my annoying king <3

unlike eijun he’s the king of being perceptive / picking up subtext.

similarly, i do think he’s pretty reliable, but for friends i feel like he might make a lil bit of a stink lmao. like lets say a friend wants him to pick something up for them, he might play like he won’t do it then miraculously shows up with the requested item. its giving tsundere vibes on the low.

with his partner: i feel like he would use emojis when he’s trying to be ~cute~. i think with a established partner he’d be pretty flirty still but he’s v much whipped for his partner so its way more mushy than it would be early in the relationship.

yes your name has hearts/stars in his phone. mans is a SAP for you

his love language is more quality time imo, so I think he values time spent with you over texting time. so a lot of your texts might be asking you to come over to hang out / get a meal or vice versa

like eijun he wants to hear about YOU, and is very supportive and good at advice when he wants to be. he can be goofy but this is how he shows you he cares/sees you as more than a friend

he’s a blushy/shy boy with his s/o esp early in the relationship, so he might be hesitant or nervous to say “i love you” or anything like that outright, but you know anyway, which just makes the times when he does outright say it that much sweeter.

miyuki kazuya

i mean it goes without saying that this man is snarky. he’s not a meme king himself but he enjoys when people send them to him and will usually play off the meme to make his own jokes.

i feel like he also likes deep-fried memes or the very abstract, post-modern memes. miyuki is good at making other people laugh, but he has a generally very-off brand humor and the things that make him cackle hardest are either at someone else’s expense (very similar to kuramochi, so they bond a lot over that) or just indiscernible without access to a huge layer of context/background

saves the reaction photos kuramochi sends him, but doesn’t usually use them. but seeing an ugly pic of eijun yelling never fails to make him grin LMAO

i think he also texts A LOT about baseball, even more so than these other baseball dummies. texts his teammates a lot of articles he reads or clips from games/cool plays. this is mostly about texts, but in terms of social media I think miyuki uses twitter/instagram the most especially for baseball related reasons, while kuramochi uses snapchat the most.

he probably texts a lot about baseball as well, both seriously and playfully

i can see him using hahas and LOLs in equal measure, but he would also utilize the haha reaction if he had an iphone. this boy does value his wit so he would definitely have commentary about any memes or jokes he’s sent

you won’t win a joke war against him, he will definitely one-up whatever you send him with either a one-liner or another joke. how tf does he do it?

definitely ignores people/conversations if he really wants to - but ofc he never does that to his BAE

if miyuki give you a dry one-line response...he’s not interested at all or he’s feeling frustrated about something else. but when he’s really happy? he will text his friends all the time and spam them! i see him as someone who enjoys texting when he has the attention span/state of mind for it. and when he’s texting his s/o his texting gets even more ~flavorful~

wit his lil bae: i don’t think miyuki would switch it up much w his s/o. is probably even more teasing with you over text than he is with his friends, which is saying something.

like talking with you just by nature of you being his partner. prob prefers texts to facetime because text kinda allows for maximum snark

he LIVES for you guys’ witty back and forth

if he’s traveling for work or something, will definitely relish in you guys binge texting a tv show or something but just making funny commentary (or he’ll just send you funny commentary to get a reaction)

he can dish it and he’s also not a super sensitive guy so he can take it tenfold from you as well. nothing y’all wouldn’t be used to when talking in person!

sometimes when texting him you’ll want to beat his a*s because he can be so cheeky but its endearing in a way. he definitely adds emojis to the end of his more annoying messages to give it that loveable vibe (and it works ofc, we love u miyuki)

he’s kinda clingy on the low so i think he’d prefer a partner that’s more open with their affection via text than he is. he would live for your random ilys or whatver throughout the day. also would not mind at all if you updated him on your actions throughout the day or sent him snaps - might not be able to respond to everything, but will react and appreciate it. very likely to make jokes about whatever you’re doing.

would also apologize over text. he’s not always used to apologizing can be awkward about it, so text makes it easier for him.

he would use emojis w you in a joking/ironic way. would absolute use those dumb but genius emoji combinations

yuki tetsuya

i’m literally cracking up thinking about texting him. he is one of my ultimate baes but im sorry i just know he texts dry asf. but its part of his charm!

has a flip phone. either never upgrades or gets the chunkiest most basic android if he is forced to

the thing is this man thinks that he is infusing all his texts with, like, tajin level seasoning, when in reality its pepper

uses punctuation. always. exclamation marks are used sparingly to express excitement.

but i can’t get the image out of my head of an upset tetsuya texting you a simple angry emoji (or the angry emoticon >:( LOL) if he’s reeeeeeally mad. but its v cute i can’t take him seriously. i just want to give him a hug <3

but you know what he is so PASSIONATE about whatever he’s talking about that his passion bleeds into his text through sheer quantity of words and depth of thought. ultimately, all his conversations end up being extremely flavorful in terms of content. he is surprisingly good at having deep conversations over text.

he’s better at holding conversations with more extroverted personalities, truthfully.

he’s another one who sends random things to people when he thinks about them. miyuki of course gets so many texts/thoughts about shogi. if you get a random haiku, poem, or quote from testu, that means you’re blessed enough to be in his inner circle! he definitely thought of you when he read it and and wants you to respond!

with bae: he doesn’t really change up his texting style tbh, but he has a stronger outward reaction to what YOU text in response.

definitely the type to smile almost imperceptibly at his phone as he texts you, even if you send him something like “hey i’m at the store, want anything?”

he’s not great as verbal affection early in the relationship, so you’ll have to discern his love/affection. however baby boy is NOT afraid to just straight up say he loves you, he does it all the time and early.

he’s KNOWN for being reliable and responsible, so he will be at your beck and call when he’s able to for anything you need, but his heart is also warmed by the thought of you reciprocating that care. if your texts show him you’re thinking of him just like he does too. he’s very gentle and sweet, and checks up on you when he’s able to see if you need anything at all.

he might be reliable, but that doesn’t mean that he’s the quickest guy to respond to texts. he’s a busy guy, and he doesn’t think about his phone all the time, but he will always get back to you (bae does not play when it comes to completing things).

if they came up with a shogi game for gamepidgeon and tetsu had an iphone, your phone probably would be spammed with requests for games lol.

this is my first time doing headcanons like this so please let me know what you think or give me tips on how to improve! I really enjoying thinking about it so I hope to do more in the future <3

#daiya no ace #daiya no ace headcanons #sawamura eijun #miyuki kazuya #kuramochi youichi #yuki tetsuya #sawamura eijun x reader #miyuki kazuya x reader #kuramochi youichi x reader #yuki tetsuya x reader #dna headcanons #miyuki x reader #kuramochi x reader #ace of diamond #headcanons #texting headcanons #my writing #diamond no ace

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miss-melon · 3 years

Note

Maybe Kaito reacting to his ftm s/o coming out? Hcs or story is fine I don’t mind either way.

Of course anon! I love writing coming out stories!

REQUEST: Kaito’s S/O coming out as trans (FTM)

‼️TW: Gender Dysphoria‼️

‼️Possible TW: Slight anxiety‼️

You and Kaito had been together for a long time and at first, your relationship was almost perfect, except for one thing. Every time Kaito called you his “girlfriend” you always felt sick to your stomach, not because you didn’t love him or anything, but because truth be told, you weren’t really a girl. While yes, that’s what you were assigned at birth, you always knew something was off, it wasn’t until a few years ago that you realized that you were transgender. This secret ate you alive every single day and the fact that the man closest to you had no idea made you feel so guilty, you wanted to tell him so bad but you had no idea how he would react. The last thing you wanted was for the one person you loved to completely abandon you.

Eventually you decided that enough was enough, you couldn’t keep this a secret forever, you had to tell Kaito the truth about your gender identity. You nervously approached your boyfriend as he was standing outside, looking at the stars. He noticed you and waved happily. “Hey Y/N! Look! The stars are really bright tonight! Aren’t they so cool?!” He sounded like a kid on Christmas morning, his enthusiasm was almost contagious, but right now you couldn’t be happy. You were about to tell Kaito a secret that you were terrified to tell him.

“H-hey Kaito... um... c-can I tell you something kinda important...?” You asked him nervously. You could already feel the tears forming in your eyes, the fear nearly paralyzed you, but you needed to tell him no matter what. “Of course you can! Kaito Momota is here to listen!” He said cheerfully as he looked down at you smiling. You looked up at your boyfriend who towered over you and immediately felt a wave of fear. “He’s a lot bigger than me, what if he’s so disgusted by me that he would want to hurt me?” You thought to yourself. You shook it off and cleared your throat. You looked at Kaito and decided that it was now or never.

“Kaito I just need to tell you this because it’s been eating at me for a very long time. Y’see the thing is... i’m... well, i’m actually a boy...” You told him as matter-of-factly as you could. You looked up and saw him tilt his head in slight confusion, he still wasn’t getting it. This only made your anticipation grow, you started to feel the tears spill from your eyes as you looked at him and said two words. Two little words that could potentially change the relationship between you two forever. “I’m transgender.” Time froze after you said that. It got so quiet, you were so scared of what was going to happen next. You closed your eyes as the tears poured from them. As you stood there in complete silence you felt a warm sensation begin to cover your body.

You opened your eyes to see Kaito... hugging you? You were at a loss for words, you didn’t even know what to think, until Kaito spoke up. “Y/N... I just want you to know that... no matter what, I will always love and accept you. You’re such an amazing person and what you just did shows so much strength and courage. I’m starting to question who’s really the sidekick here because your bravery in telling me something that important... well, to put it bluntly, you’re the hero here Y/N. You’re my hero... I would give anything to be as brave as you.” You were so moved by the words Kaito just told you. You returned his hug and just sunk into his loving embrace. “Thank you Kaito... I love you.” You said while overcome with joy. “I love you too Y/N.” Kaito said back.

The two of you walked inside and once you got in, Kaito brought out a few old shirts of his. “These are too small for me now but, I figured you’d feel more comfortable in these than the feminine stuff you normally wear so... here ya go!” Kaito said as he handed you the shirts. You were just so overcome with happiness that you jumped into Kaito’s arms and you two shared a passionate kiss. If you weren’t 100% confident before that you and Kaito’s bond was infinitely strong, you definitely were now.

THE END.

_______________________________________________

Thank you so much for requesting this anon! Coming out stories really do mean so much to me! I hope you liked it!

#kaito momota x reader #kaito momota #danganronpa killing harmony #danganronpa fluff #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa imagine #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa

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prose-for-hire · 4 years

Text

A magic moment

Pairing: Giles x reader

Request: Hi again, I love all the recent fics and think I got request thoughtout. Could we give Giles some love with maybe a shy gothic reader. Maybe they work part time at the magic box; perhaps they share a moment over books and magick based folklore or something. This is my first time making any kind of request so I apologize if I didn’t do it correctly>~>

Requested by: Anon

A/N: ‘gothic’ is an umbrella term, so I was vague with it. I worked a little on the stereotypical stuff, black clothing, etc but for the most part you can build-your-own-goth in your head!

Also I got trapped down a rabbit hole looking up English folklore lol💜

You were shy. You had hoped that a job in retail would help with this, but you didn’t have much luck. You were still shy, but at least the boss was cute. Plus, he didn’t mind that you liked to dress gothic, as much as you could get away with in a retail job. Which, much to your surprise, Giles was very encouraging. You had your own style, and he often complimented the hairstyles you tried out to match your look. You wore a lot of black clothing, as much as you could get away with. It was the way you expressed yourself, usually pushing it and wearing your most exciting outfits on a Friday afternoon shift.

It was actually Friday afternoon today and you had been reading. It was quiet, no demons or apocalypses threatening your shift and not even a ghost had deigned to haunt the shop. Time was going slowly, every time you looked up at the clock on the wall it appeared to be fifteen minutes earlier than you last looked. Time appeared to be going backwards, more hours stretching before you.

The only saving grace was that when it was quiet, Giles let everyone else go home and it would just be you and him on the shift. This made you smile a little in a way that you had been caught by him more than once and made you have to look away quickly, glancing around the room trying to make sure he couldn’t see how you were embarrassed for showing your glee at time alone with him.

It was quiet and you were comfortable in the silence that surrounded you, as if a blanket of mutual affection cushioning each of you in a familiar embrace that only appeared when you were around each other. You didn’t have to be brash and loud to keep his attention. He was extremely fond of you, even if sometimes you tried to stay at the back of the crowd. In fact, he identified with this side of you and he wished he had said something before.

He had been researching something and had been distracted, although enjoying your company, but he had even left the tea you had made him to go cold. A demon had been sacrificing children, but only specific ones – having left out a child that had been easy to take but he hadn’t. He was reading through a text that had foretold this would happen as he started to speak aloud.

“Ah, but why the specification of a Childe of the Chime?” He muttered, having not heard this specific myth before. Some English folklore that had stuck in your mind from one of the many magic books you had poured over. It was a myth that was most likely now a reality considering you were in Sunnydale.

He wasn’t expecting you to reply, he liked to hear your voice but he understood you needed a little more time sometimes. You were often a person of little words, but catch you on something you were passionate about and you could reel off facts and interesting anecdotes with ease. Especially with him.

“A chime child is someone who was born at a specific time as church bells toll for monastic prayer, such as at midnight. Their abilities are said to range from being extraordinarily perceptive towards animals to being able to see ghosts. Chime children were often regarded as witches and were actually persecuted in the same way. Oh! Interestingly, it was also said that if chime children use their abilities for selfish reasons rather than for the benefit of others they are to perish “miserably and spiritually” so perhaps your children are being punished, uh, more… literally” You state, tailing off as you realise you had been talking for a while. He slowly moves his head from where he had been pouring over a book, looking at you in what could only be described as awe.

“Y/n, I was never aware that you knew of such things” he said, taking his glasses off, apparently in astonishment at your knowledge and the way you had spoken with such casual detail. He was falling even deeper for you, not only were you very attractive to him but your intelligence was making him smitten.

“Uh, misspent youth” You mutter, shrugging and moving your eyes from where they had been locked inside his. You had a keen interest in the occult from a young age and you knew some obscure facts as well as some apparently really useful information especially considering you lived in Sunnydale.

You shrug, as if this was nothing. But you were intelligent. Knowledgeable. You believed in the beauty of knowledge. In learning just for the fun of it. He loved this about you. He was incredibly fond of you. You’d be employee of the month every month if that was something the store did. This had re-confirmed it to him. You were special to him and he knew he had to act on it.

You lacked confidence, but you knew what you wanted. You knew you wanted to be in his arms. To hear his soothing voice. To compare notes on magical artefacts and various tomes. You wanted to share a life with him. It was strange really, you looked forward to work just so that you could see him. Be around him, even if you were just sat in silence waiting for customers or sharing a hot drink during a break.

His eyes couldn’t move from you, his glasses now firmly planted back on his face. The books laid out in front of you both but neither of your eyes could cast towards the page. He appeared to be weighing something up in his mind, a short nod to himself as he made his decision. You had been staring back, and when he spoke it made you jump slightly.

“Y/n?”

“Oh, uh, sorry-” you started, but he shook his head and your words dissolved into the air as you tailed off.

“Y/n, I was planning on closing early. You will still get paid, I was wondering however, there is this brilliant little occult bookstore that I believe you would love. It’s perhaps an hour’s journey from here, but I could drive us” He offered, stumbling slightly as he wanted you to be comfortable with his offer, hoping that he hadn’t misread the way you seemed to have warmed up to only him, “Uh, only of course if that was entirely appropriate, you can say no of course, it is only a suggestion-”

“Yes!” This was you at your most excited. And he could tell, your eyes shining at more than the thought of the rows of books. Spending time alone with him in your time off? It was a dream. You couldn’t stop squealing inside your head. You gushed in a way that nobody had seen since you were in nursery school/kindergarten. You tended to keep your enthusiasm inside when you were in public.

You beamed at him, unable to contain your eagerness. You closed up the store together and you all but skipped to the car beside him. He opened the car door on your side for you before walking over to the drivers side, unable to stop smiling at the way your mood had lifted at just the thought of the trip.

He had never seen you smile for so long, your cheeks were aching with glee. He couldn’t help smiling with equal enthusiasm, your smile was contagious in a way that he hoped he would never be cured. This was the start of something special. Of you and him.

#Giles x reader #Rupert Giles #Rupert Giles x reader #Giles x you #Giles imagine #Rupert Giles imagine #btvs imagine #btvs x reader #shy reader #gothic reader #gender neutral reader #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #Ripper #btvs #Buffyverse #this ones for you anon Liz

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specterchasing-a · 3 years

Text

Ghost of a Chance || Bex & Eddie

TIMING: Current

LOCATION: One of White Crest’s many abandoned buildings.

PARTIES: @inbextween & @specterchasing

SUMMARY: Bex and Eddie accidentally bite off more than they can chew when filming.

CONTENT: Internalized homophobia, head trauma mention.

Nervous wasn’t the exact right word for how Bex felt at the moment, but it was close enough while she thought of the right one. She’d never been ghost hunting before. She wished she could’ve gotten the special goggles from Nell that would let her see them, but she would settle for trusting Eddie instead. He could see them, and that was really enough. She could be the second hand witness that got to watch him in action in real time. She’d browsed through quite a few of his videos at this point, and he didn’t seem to do many other videos with other people. Actually, there had been none. That meant she was his first. So, maybe, the feeling was excited, or thrilled, or perhaps even exhilarated. This was what she wanted to do with her knowledge. Chase it, understand it, share it. And Eddie felt the same way and wasn’t that really just the best? He’d picked her up from Morgan’s and they’d drove down to the location, and Bex recalled the last time she’d been in his car, and how she hadn’t even been there enough to remember what kind of car it was or how it had that funny smell old cars did. She glanced back at all the equipment in the backseat, then over to Eddie. “How expensive was all of that?” she asked, curious, as she turned enough in her seat to begin prodding through his bags, examining his cameras. “Do we really need all of this?” she asked, pulling out what looked like a walkie talkie with no matching device.

Throughout the entirety of his YouTube career, Eddie worked alone. He had no other choice. Friends were few and far between, and most of them were incorporeal, which meant holding a camera was out of the question. But now, Bex was here; eager to help. He liked her—quite a bit, actually. And, by some miracle, she seemed to like him too. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he felt like he’d finally found the kind of friend he’d been missing. And, yeah, it helped that she had a pulse.

“Too expensive,” Eddie replied to her question with an exaggerated grimace. “And, I mean, ‘need’ is a strong word, but they’re fun to have around and the viewers appreciate the pageantry, so why not?” Eddie pointed at the gadget in her hand. “That is a tri-axis EMF meter, which is technically useless to me since I’m a living ghost magnet.”

Eddie reached into the backseat and pulled the center most bag into his lap and removed two cameras. One of them, he promptly turned on and looked through the lens at Bexley. “Well, look at that, the camera already loves you,” he said before handing it over to her. “Do you have any experience with one of these? Not a huge deal if you don’t. It’s pretty easy to get the hang of.”

Bex set the meter down and looked at Eddie. “A tri-what?” she asked, raising a brow. She didn’t know what any of this stuff was aside from the camera, leaning back in her seat as he pulled the bag up onto his own lap to rifle around in it. She tilted her head as she watched, curious eyes glued to his every action. Finally, the camera popped open and he pointed it at her and she ducked her face to the side, unable to help the blush that came onto her face. “Oh, shut up,” she said, reaching out to cover the lens with her palm carefully-- she didn’t actually want to damage the thing, it was expensive and Eddie had spent all his own money on it. She wished she could help somehow.

She took the camera when he handed it to her and peered down the lens. “I think the camera like you much more,” she teased back, smiling at him from behind it. “I know how to use a camcorder, yes.. I’m not that sheltered.” She felt the excitement buzzing in her stomach. “So, where do we start, mister ghost magnet? I’m here to support you.”

When Bex’s hand raised to cover the camera’s lens, Eddie couldn’t help but laugh. “If you’re gonna be my co-host, you’ll have to do something about that camera shyness,” he said with playfully raised brows. The thought of her accompanying him on future filming adventures was tempting, to say the least. Sharing his passion projects with someone else who understood and appreciated them had always seemed like a pipe dream, but that was slowly beginning to change.

Eddie didn’t so much as flinch when Bex directed the camera at him. “I sure hope it likes me after all these years,” he said, mirroring her smile. “So, for starters, we gotta introduce you, obviously—let the viewers know who they’re dealing with. I figure we can do that right outside the entrance.” As Eddie spoke, he opened the car door, tugging the bag’s strap onto his shoulder. “You ready for your close-up, Ms. Ochsenstein?”

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself,” Bex teased, “you have to see if you can stand being around me for more than ten minutes. If I recall, last time, I couldn’t.” She stuck her tongue out but held the camera back up, examining him through it. “I think the camera is in love with you, actually. It can’t look away!” Gosh, when was the last time she’d felt so free and excited? She was just brimming with anticipation, and it was jittering in her stomach. The last time she’d been this excited was when she’d gone out with Mina to the casino. That, turns out, had been a different sort of excited. “And I’m not camera shy, thank you very much. I just think you’re much better suited for it than me.”

Eddie hopped out of the car and she followed his lead, sliding the camera strap over her shoulder so it didn’t fall from her grip. She was well aware she was clumsy enough to accidentally drop it and if she broke one of his cameras, she’d feel so guilty. Extra safety precautions were worth it. “Ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose,” she chirped, following after him.

“Yeah, I really don’t see that being an issue on my end,” Eddie said, and he meant it wholeheartedly. “But, so long as we don’t run into any unforeseen Bex-repellent, here’s hoping your tolerance for me will have gone up.” As she continued filming him, he felt a sudden surge of fondness. After their last outing, it felt positively wonderful to see her enjoying herself. “Technically, that camera pays my bills, so it can ogle me all it wants.” The excitement Bex felt must’ve been contagious. Enthusiasm bubbled in Eddie’s stomach, reminding him of how he felt when he first started making videos. “I beg to differ—I’ve got a feeling you’re gonna be a natural.”

As they approached the building’s entrance, Eddie raised his camera and aimed it at Bex. He took a few steps to the left, making sure he lined the shot up perfectly. “Viewers, I’d like to take a moment and introduce you to my new and very good weird friend, Bex. She’ll be helping to make sure I don’t die today, which I think is very cool of her. Bex, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you’re feeling about what we’re about to do?”

“Uh huh, we’ll see,” Bex said with a smirk. There was a strange natural ease with which she fell in stride with Eddie, both in their conversation and in their steps. She followed him up towards the building, looking at all the buttons on the camera as she did, wondering if he knew what they all did. “Oh, you’ll be surprised how much I can tolerate. I think we’ll be okay.” The building didn’t look much different than most places around town, but it was abandoned and Bex really hoped it wasn’t going to cave in on her, like the last place had. “Well, if it pays the bills, it must be worth it,” she grinned.

Eddie ushered her towards the entrance and she set the camera down, closing the viewer so it didn’t look awkward and clunky while it dangled there. Bex cleared her throat and fixed her hair in an attempt to try and make the rosiness in her cheeks less apparent as he pointed the camera at her. She’d been on camera and video plenty of times-- the way her life had run it was unavoidable-- but never in a manner that left her feeling so...exposed. He asked her to talk about herself, her real self, and she’d never done that to a camera before. Swallowing, she nodded. “Uh, well-- My name’s Bexley. But you already know that. That was-- anyway!” she shifted in her spot. “Well, I’m a student at UMWC for pre--” she paused, thought on it, “--for Anthropology. I’m actually really good at making sure people don’t die, so you guys don’t have to worry. I’ll make sure Eddie doesn’t get got by a ghost.”

Eddie couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten along this well with someone. As pathetic as it made him feel, he knew it must’ve been a few years ago, at least. Ostensibly, he could have reached this level of friendliness with a few of the ghosts from his past, but they always moved on quickly. He couldn’t resent them for that, not when he made it a point to help them. “Uh-huh, we’ll see,” he parrotted her words back to her when she claimed to have a high tolerance.

Eddie kept still while Bex stumbled through her introduction, grinning at the mistakes. He didn’t mean to poke fun at her necessarily, it was just an incredibly endearing display. “Perfect,” he said when she was done, lowering the camera. “Anthropology, huh? I should’ve been able to guess that.” Eddie closed the distance between himself and Bex. “Now, we go in and hope the ghost’s aren’t feeling shy tonight.” He slipped past her and approached the door. One tug at the handle told him that entering wouldn’t be that easy.

He looked over his shoulder at Bex. “Hey, wanna see a trick?” Eddie’s attention turned back to the door. He took a moment to study the structure, checking for any important details. Once satisfied, he focused on what he wanted the door to do. In his mind, he saw it opening. A few moments later, it actually did. “That’s gonna make tomorrow a migraine day, but I wanted to impress you,” he admitted with a shrug.

“Well, I used to be in pre-law, actually,” Bex pointed out as she let him come over to her, smiling. He seemed satisfied with her introduction, even if she found it relatively subpar. That was just kind of who she was, as a person-- subpar. She wasn’t going to share that thought out loud, though. She didn’t want to ruin a good thing. And, really, this was a good thing. Eddie seemed really nice and like he knew how to have fun and he was being super supportive of her, already. Plus, Nell knew him, and she trusted Nell’s judgement probably more than her own. “Do they often feel shy? Do you think they’ll actually come out if I’m here? What if I make them feel uncomfortable, since I can’t see them?” she asked with sudden realization. She hope she wasn’t just ruining his entire day of filming. She imagined it took a lot of effort, and then there was the editing and the uploading and everything in between.

They found the door locked, and Bex was prepared to offer her rarely now used lock picking skills when he offered to show her a trick, instead. Curious, she nodded and stepped back, watching him closely. Suddenly, the door clicked open and swung on its hinges to invite them in. Bex’s face lit up. “Woah! That was so cool! Like, legitimately! I’m not just saying that. Besides N-- my magic mentor, I don’t know anyone else who can use magic. Not really. And I know it’s, like, different, but it’s still a type of magic.” She grinned. “Well, color me impressed. And remind me when we get back that I have some really good uh-- things to help with pain.” She didn’t know what she’d call Nell’s medicine, but it helped with pain. A lot more than ibuprofen or tylenol ever did.

She gestured towards the inside, picking her camera back up. “You first. You are the star of this show, after all.” And she couldn’t help the pick-up in her heartbeat as she felt anticipation run through her veins.

“Yikes, that sounds like… so much school, too much even,” Eddie replied with a mild grimace. School never suited him, there were too many subjects he couldn’t care less about. If it wasn’t for the ghosts who frequently guided him in cheating, he would’ve flunked out years before graduating. Bex, on the other hand, seemed like a decently bookish person. He wondered what it would be like to have that kind of brain between his ears. As it was, he could only retain information about topics that inspired him. Hyperfixations, the professionals called them.

Eddie grinned at her barrage of ghost-related questions, more than happy to be around someone who actually took an interest in what he did. “No worries, you’re gonna be just fine. Most ghosts are pretty used to not being seen. They’re more shy when they know they’re being watched, so I’m more likely to gum up the works than you are,” he assured her. “Luckily, I’ve kind of learned their language over the years, so I’m not too pressed about it. I’ll coax them out of hiding one way or another.”

“You have a magic mentor? Neat,” he said, beaming from ear-to-ear. Bex referring to telekinesis as magic only prolonged his smile. “Look at us having so much in common, no wonder we’re such fast friends.” Eddie loved the idea of partaking in some sort of magical remedy for his pain instead of relying solely on the mundane effects of tylenol. “You’re a pharmacist too—is there anything you can’t do, Bex Ochsenstein?”

Eddie’s head bowed in response before he took a few steps deeper into the building. He raised his camera again and filmed a sweeping shot of the area. It looked as if no one had been inside for years, which obviously wasn’t much of a surprise considering they likely hadn’t. “Alright, my dearly departed friends, if you’re here—I’ve got someone who’d like to meet you.” When his statement wrapped up, a translucent individual wafted into view. For all intents and purposes, she looked perfectly fine for a ghost; no signs of a traumatic death.

“Bex,” Eddie said. “I really wish you could see her.”

His attention turned back to the ghost. “First of all, it’s an honor to meet you—do you mind being part of a video? I know you won’t show up or anything, but y’know.”

“Run,” said the ghost.

“Beg your pardon?” Eddie questioned.

“We’re not alone.”

After she gave her warning, the floor began to quake beneath them, and the door instantly slammed shut.

“Pre-law was a lot,” Bex agreed, nodding. And made even worse so by the fact that she’d never wanted to do it in the first place. She ducked inside the house after Eddie and held up her camera, pointing it at Eddie. She flipped on the dark vision switch and watched it flicker to life. She turned in a circle as she walked around, making sure to film their surroundings. “Do ghosts not like you, then?” she asked, turning to zoom the camera in on Eddie’s face. “Tell us the truth, Mister Ghost Man.” She grinned from behind the lens, pausing in one of the doorways.

“I do, she’s pretty great,” she answered, unsure if she should tell Eddie about Nell, considering he knew her. Did he know know, though? It probably wasn’t her secret to tell, and if he didn’t know, there was a reason by now. She could only wonder what it was, though. “Oh, don’t you worry, there’s quite a bit I can’t do. Like ride a bike, or drive a car, or see ghosts.” She stopped when Eddie did, gazing at something she could not see. A ghost, she assumed. The air around them chilled and Bex noticed her breath coming out in puffs in front of her lips. “I wish I could, too…” she murmured.

But something in the air changed, she could feel it.

“Um, Eddie?” she started, turning to him-- but she didn’t get much of a chance to say anything else, as the floor shook and the door swung shut behind her. She jumped and scrambled over to Eddie, wrapping her arms around his free one. “What’s happening? What did she say?” She wasn’t sure what to do, but she didn’t want to do anything to offend the ghost or-- whatever else was there with them. She wasn’t sure her magic could protect either of them from ghosts. They weren’t inside of wooden dolls this time.

“Sometimes,” Eddie admitted with an embarrassed grin. “Like I told you before, plenty of people have let me know that I’m too much, and not all of those people were alive when they said it.” Just because he loved ghosts didn’t mean they always loved him back. As much as he tried to put their needs first, his best didn’t always cut it. “But, more often than not, they like me okay. That’s the best I can ask for, really.”

“Aside from seeing ghosts, everything else you listed is overrated, anyway,” Eddie said with a small nod. The focus quickly shifted to what they came to the abandoned building for, and he felt blissfully in his element until the sudden shift in atmosphere. If he’d come here alone, the appearance of danger wouldn’t have bothered him, but Bex was here. He couldn’t allow her to get swept up in his death-wish.

Eddie pulled his arm away from her, but only so he could wrap it around her. “She told us to run,” he replied. “No way we’re gonna get through the way we came if it doesn’t want us to.” His eyes scanned the room, looking for a way out. Items, forgotten or discarded by their original owners, were strewn across the floor of the building. The spirit causing the recent commotion decided to begin hurling them in whatever direction it fancied. Eddie ducked, pulling Bex down with him, as a wrench flew overhead. “Shit,” he hissed.

His gaze landed on a broken window at the opposite end of the room. “There!” he called out, guiding Bex towards it.

“Well, you’re not too much,” Bex said back with a huff, “if I’m not, you’re not.” It was only fair, right? She would have tried to find another snappy retort if she could, but as it were, the trembling of the floor and the sudden array of items being thrown about really put a pause on her mind trying to come up with one. Eddie wrapped his arm around her and she pressed into him, looking around for an exit as well. But she kept the camera up as much as she could-- he’d want this footage, right? He pulled her down just as a wrench went flying through the space her head had been in previously and she looked behind her to find it wedged in the wall. Her heart was pounding, but she wasn’t afraid. She wasn’t. It was like with the hunter, in the alley. She wasn’t afraid.

Eddie’s voice brought her back to herself and she looked at the window across the room. “C’mon!” she took off for it, pulling him with her, her other hand still gripping the camera. It was an expensive piece of equipment, she couldn’t let it break on her first venture out. When they reached the window, she went to bust it open, but the wooden panes from the outside swung angrily shut in her face and she jumped back. “I don’t think it wants us to leave this way, either!” she said, casting a worried glance back at him. “Duck!” She grabbed him and tugged him out of the way as what looked like an old rotary phone came flying at them. It shattered on the wall where Eddie’s head had been. “Are they always this upset? What’s wrong with her?”

Bex took off towards the window and Eddie realized something; he’d underestimated her. Not on purpose, of course, but still—she didn’t need to be treated with kid gloves. The panic attack he witnessed in the alley did not define her. Amidst the chaos and dread, he witnessed a new side of her. Bex Ochsenstein was brave, and she didn’t need him to play the part of a hero.

“That’s pretty inconsiderate of it,” Eddie snarked when their way-out turned into a dead-end. Bex yanked him down, same way he’d done for her. He grinned at the role reversal, he couldn’t help it. “It’s not her,” he said. “It’s something else—my money’s on it being a poltergeist. And, yeah, they’re a little touchy.” More than ever, Eddie resented not being raised by fellow mediums. If he had, he might’ve known a thing or two about impromptu exorcisms.

“You said you know some latin, right?” Eddie began digging in the bag that held his camera equipment. “My pronunciation is shit, but maybe you’ll have better luck than me.” He retrieved a worn-out, leather bound book and shoved it into Bex’s free hand. “Don’t ask me which page has the answers, I’m fully playing this by ear.” As he went back to digging in his bag, one of the other windows shattered, covering the floor in jagged glass. He flinched, but kept digging until he pulled out a bag of salt. “Start reading,” he instructed her as he began pouring the contents of the bag out in the shape of a circle with them safely in the middle.

“A poltergeist?” Bex asked. Oh, she was definitely writing this down when they got done. Poltergeists were different from regular ghosts. She wondered what made a ghost into a poltergeist. Or if they even could become one. Were they a special type of ghost? Were there different types of ghosts? She didn’t have too much time to consider all the questions popping into her head because Eddie was pushing her away from the window and handing her a book. “Latin? Oh, no, I’m much better with Hebre--” The window shattering cut her sentence short and she squeaked, nodding, “Latin! Got it!”

Eddie was pulling something else out of his bag and Bex had to remind herself to not watch him and just read whatever was written in front of her. She didn’t understand a lot of the words on the page, but there were a few that stood out. Mostly, the word protect. Okay, she could work with that. She didn’t know if she was supposed to do anything else while she read, so she just started saying the words out loud, backing up into Eddie’s salt circle. “Oh! Neat! A salt circle, is that--” A lamp shattered near their heads. “Right! Sorry! Excuse me, mister ghost slash possible poltergeist! We don’t mean any harm!” She felt the floorboards shudder beneath her and she stumbled, nearly dropping the book and the camera. “I-- I don’t think this is working, Eddie. Should I try a different page? Ne-- my mentor did tell me something about how um, exorcist magic is different from spellcaster magic, but--” she ducked as a shoe came flying at her, “--maybe I can use magic!” Or maybe she shouldn’t. She was still recovering from messing with that hunter. And she wasn’t sure using magic on camera was the best idea. “Where is it? Maybe we can just talk to it. She seems like a reasonable gal, don’t you think?”

As the building continued to rattle and the lamp shattered, Eddie reached the same conclusion as Bex. Much to his dismay, they seemed utterly out of luck, but he wasn’t keen on giving up yet. He carefully set his camera down within their salt circle—if it didn’t survive this excursion, he wouldn’t be too heartbroken, but he’d do what he could to protect his bank account.

“I would love to settle this with a heart-to-heart, but poltergeists aren’t known for being reasonable.” Eddie carelessly discarded the used-up bag of salt as the few in-tact windows began opening and slamming shut. It felt an awful lot like their poltergeist was taunting them. His thoughts back-peddled to the comment Bex made about exorcist magic. As a medium, he wondered if that particular brand of spellcraft was in his blood already.

“Magic,” he mused, carefully taking the book from Bex’s hands. “You know any spells that’ll keep our angry little buddy from giving me brain damage?” Eddie opened the tome to a random page. From what he could parse, it seemed like a pretty simple means of temporary banishment. He could only hope it was simple enough for someone without any skill. “Time to find out if mediumship has any extra perks.”

“Okay,” Bex said, “fair enough!” She scooted behind Eddie as he set his camera down and took the book from her. He flipped through the book to a different page and she tried to wrack her mind for any sort of spell that could stop someone from throwing things at them. She knew about the spell to make things move on their own, maybe if she just redirected that energy into making an object stop, it would work? “Yeah, yep! I-- I’ll give it a try! Hopefully no head damage from this, but, uh-- no guarantees!”

She looked towards where she thought the poltergeist was-- it was the direction all the things were flying from-- and concentrated. It was relatively soon after the incident with the hunter, but she could try! She could totally try. She could do this. She could protect her friend. Something whizzed towards them and Bex held up her hands, concentrating, and managed to at least misdirect it, watching it shatter on the wall behind them. “Oh! Oh! I did it! Eddie, I--” she started, but something else started heading for them and she put her hands back up. “Just, uh-- hurry with whatever you’re doing! I’m not sure I can, uh, do this for too long!”

With the comfort of knowing Bex had a few tricks up her sleeve, Eddie began chanting in Latin. His brow furrowed as he steadied his focus—one mispronunciation and they’d be left vulnerable. He tried not to flinch as something shattered loudly against the wall behind them. Bex, clearly proud of her success, began bubbling with excitement. If Eddie hadn’t been so engrossed in the words before him, he would’ve joined her.

Just as Bex finished her warning, a loud shriek permeated the air, and the object in mid-flight dropped to the ground. Everything around them went quiet. Eddie looked up from the book, clearly startled by the sudden change in atmosphere. “Holy shit, Bex, I think we did it.”

Everything seemed to go a little faster for a moment, before suddenly, it stopped. Completely. The objects that had been whirling around in the space in front of them clattered loudly to the ground and Bex flinched from surprise, moving in closer to Eddie. After a moment, she realized it was quiet, but she didn’t make a move until Eddie declared his own, similar thoughts. “We-- we did it!” she said, her face lighting up. She patted his shoulders excitedly. “We did it! Oh my god, that was amazing! You’re amazing! This was amazing!” she exclaimed, before a swell of exhaustion overtook her and she felt her eyes roll up into the back of her head for a second. The next moment, her body began to drop.

Bex hit the floor without warning and Eddie quickly dropped to his knees beside her. “Bex?” he asked, his eyes wide with fright. “Bex, wake up.” He pulled her head into his lap and gingerly swept a few errant strands of hair out of her face. “We’re gonna be fine, but I need you to wake up, okay?”

Looking down at her, Eddie realized how attached to her he’d become in the short amount of time they’d known each other. Bex represented everything he admired in a person: brave, enthusiastic, kind, open-minded. As she laid there unconscious, he wondered if the reason he’d never found the ‘right’ girl was because he’d never met her. She didn’t exactly set his heart on fire, but the idea of spending more time with her excited him. Maybe, that was all that mattered.

“Please,” he begged.

Bex didn’t know how long she’d been out-- realistically, it’d only been a few moments. Not even a full minute. She wasn’t even aware she’d fallen unconscious until her eyes were blinking open and she was staring up at Eddie, and he looked so worried. Confusion crossed her face for a moment as she looked up at him. “What-- what’s wrong?” she asked. Had something else happened? Was the ghost still here? Did they upset the other one? “Why are you looking at me like that?” It wasn’t until she tried to sit up that she realized she was horizontal. She blinked, her face contorted a moment, before she focused back on Eddie. “Are we on the floor? Where’s the ghost? Is she okay? The-- not poltergeist one.”

A sudden rush of relief mingled with the adrenaline coursing through Eddie’s entire system. Bex’s words fell on deaf ears. Amidst the chaos, Eddie completely forgot about the amiable ghost and her warnings—she could wait. “You passed out,” he said, his words drastically contrasting with the grin spreading across his face. “Bex, you were incredible. You…” He trailed off with a laugh. Eddie raised a hand to smooth his hair back from his forehead. Without allowing himself enough time to think through his next words, he plunged head-first into a proposal. “Would you ever wanna, like, go out? As more than friends, I mean. No pressure, I just think you’re really amazing.” And, if things between them went well, maybe he’d be able to shake the confusing attraction to Alfie. As far as he could tell, it would be an ideal scenario.

“I did?” Bex said, still in his lap, looking up at him. She didn’t exactly realize her head was in his lap. Maybe she would’ve moved, but maybe not. Suddenly, her cheeks burned. He was calling her incredible, when, really, she hadn’t done much. “Oh, no! You were the incredible one!” she lifted her hands and waved them in front of them. “You knew exactly what to do under all that pressure, and--” but he was laughing and talking again and Bex stared up at him with a slightly ajar mouth. “Oh.” She didn’t know what to say to that. “I-- I’m--” involved with someone? Seeing someone? Dating someone? Hanging out with someone? She didn’t know what her and Mina were doing, actually. Her cheeks burned again. “You’re very sweet, Eddie, really! And normally I would probably say yes, but I’m sort of--” she couldn’t say it. Why couldn’t she say it? She should just say it “--taking time for myself right now.” She looked up at him. “I-- I’m sorry. But I really like spending time with you! I do! I hope that’s okay.” Please be okay.

Eddie’s brow raised slightly as Bex stumbled over her words. Eventually, a gentle rejection formed. It didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would. Strangely enough, a small part of him actually breathed a sigh of relief. “Of course, that’s okay,” Eddie said with a small nod. His cheeks were burning and he felt like more of an idiot than usual, but he could cope with that. “I, uh, think that was just a side-effect of the excitement getting to me, anyway. Taking time for yourself is really important! We can still play ghostbusters even if we’re just friends.” Deciding that he’d said more than enough, Eddie offered her his hand. “Let’s get you on your feet.”

She felt bad. Kinda. She should’ve probably said yes, right? That was what everyone had wanted from her. To be normal, to like boys. Bex took his hand and sat up, looking over at him. Her cheeks were burning again, too. “I really do like spending time with you, Eddie,” she said, “this was probably the most fun I’ve had in...a long time. But it was so fun! And I totally wanna do it again. You know, if you’ll have me?” Her head still felt a bit light, but she was smiling. She didn’t know what was wrong with her heart, or why it was stammering in her chest. Or why she felt somehow nervous, or like she’d done something wrong. She thought of Mina and felt her heart begin to calm, as she stood on wobbly legs, stumbling into him. “Sorry, sorry,” she muttered, “looks like I might need your support after all.” A tease, to help wipe away any lingering awkwardness.

“Right, of course,” Eddie agreed, nodding perhaps a bit too vigorously. “Trust me, spending time with you is way too much of a blast to give it up over something like that. It would be an honor to almost die with you again in the future.” As Bex stumbled into him, Eddie wasted no time in bracing her by planting his hands on her either side of her waist. If the heat burning in his cheeks got any worse, he theorized he might burst into flames. “No worries,” he insisted with a laugh. “I’m a fan of you being conscious and upright, so I’ve got you.” With one hand still holding her in place, he dipped down to grab his camera and the book, carelessly shoving them into his bag before rising again. “Should I get you home, then? We can always make plans when you’re a little more steady.”

“Let’s-- maybe call it something else,” Bex said with an exasperated smile. “It’s-- an adventure! A-- could end badly but doesn't because we make such a good team, adventure! How’s that sound? Think that’ll fit on a channel title?” She let him balance her, wondering why it didn’t feel frightening or strange to have his hands on her hips. Usually, she shirked away from other people’s touch, but she’d been so-- okay with Eddie’s. She cleared her throat and tried not to think about it. “Ah, yes, I think home sounds like a good idea. Do you think we got enough footage? Do you edit all your own videos? Maybe I could come help with that?” she asked, looking at him with wide, curious eyes. She didn’t want the adventure to be over with yet, but her legs weren’t cooperating and she didn’t want to accidentally pass out on him again. Mina would be upset if she let that happen, or if she came home unconscious carried by another boy again.

“I like the sound of that, actually. A little lengthy, but hey, brevity isn’t everything,” Eddie said with a teasing grin. As always, her enthusiasm was catching. Besides his little blunder, tonight went amazingly. A little action, a little danger, a brief black-out; it checked all the boxes. His grin took a turn towards genuine fondness as Bex went into another of her patented question-barrages. “If we didn’t, we can come back during the daytime—see if our resident friendly ghost has any commentary she’d like to add.” Eddie began carefully walking them towards the exit as he spoke. “I do my own editing, yeah, and I would be more than happy to have you lend a hand. At the very least, the company would be nice,” he admitted earnestly. “If you’re back on your feet tomorrow, we can tackle movie magic tomorrow.” Eddie reached for the door and, thankfully, it opened without complaint this time around. “If, uh, that sounds good to you, of course.”

“Exactly! Sometimes you need a long title, just so that people know exactly what they’re getting themselves into, you know?” Bex beamed, she couldn’t help it. There was an energy about being around Eddie that made her feel seen. And excited and heard. And he felt the same way about all this supernatural stuff as her, and it was so nice to finally know someone who felt the same. Who didn’t tell her it was too dangerous or that it was too risky or that they just shouldn’t do it, because there might be trouble later. That wasn’t how things worked. If no one ever pushed for change, there never would be. But Eddie wanted that. And so did Bex. Maybe that was why she’d gravitated toward him so readily. “Oh, no, is she gone? Did we scare her off? Can you tell her I’m sorry? I totally didn’t mean her! I hope she’s okay,” she gasped, turning to look back towards the room where Eddie had pointed her out first as he led Bex towards the exit. “I can do tomorrow!” she said, maybe a bit too enthusiastically. Technically, she wanted to do it now, but he was right. She should get back home and rest. “I’ll be totally fine by tomorrow,” she said, paused, then added, “promise.”

“If you ask me, YouTube might be your calling instead of anthropology,” Eddie said, unable to hide the immense grin that always seemed to be plastered on his face when Bex was around. Having her remain as energetic as ever helped diminish the anxiety he felt after boldly asking her if she’d like to take their relationship to the next level. So long as he kept her in his life, he supposed it didn’t matter which labels they used.

As she expressed concern over their ghost, Eddie laughed and resisted the urge to pull her closer in an attempt to comfort her. “You’re fine, I promise. She’s probably just a little rattled, I bet she’ll be back in time for our next visit.” Bex cared so much—about everything. Eddie admired that about her, how could he not? “You’ll have a chance to tell her yourself when that time rolls around.”

Her resounding confirmation caught Eddie off-guard. He glanced at her, wondering if the time she was taking for herself might end in a change of tune, after all. “I’ll hold you to that,” he said as they approached the passenger-side of the car. With his free-hand, he pulled the door open for her and gestured for her to enter. “If you haven’t guessed yet, I can be a tad clingy,” he confessed with a small shrug.

“Oh, no, I’ll leave the internet sensationalism to you. I’d much rather be behind the camera, or better yet, down in the dirt,” Bex dismissed, feeling that warmth that often filled her when she talked about history or being on a dig, rising into her stomach again. Still, she did like doing this with Eddie. And she thought she’d done a pretty decent job! Hopefully she’d even actually shot some good footage. Only time would tell, she supposed, as she held onto him while they made their way to the car. It was right where they’d left it, and she wasn’t sure why she thought the outside world was going to be any different after her first ghost encounter. It was all strangely exactly the same.

“Well, I hope she’s okay. I’ll definitely be asking her to make sure when we come back. Do ghosts like gifts? Or-- offerings? Is it an offering if you give a ghost something? Maybe we can bring her flowers. I know a good florist in town,” she rambled, watching Eddie come around and open the door for her. She looked at his face then-- really looked at him-- and wondered what might be wrong with her, if she’d rejected him so readily. Was something wrong with her? With the way Mina made her feel? She blinked the thoughts away and let a warm smile carve onto her lips. “Don’t worry,” she said, stepping towards the car, “I’m clingy, too.” She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before lowering herself into the car, and, wondering, why she’d done that at all.

#c: bexley #wickedswriting #writing #ghost of a chance #// nothing to see here #move along

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candyshua · 4 years

Text

To Live a Life of Happiness {Choi Seungcheol x Reader}

genre: heavy angst, some fluff, drama

synopsis: you move to daegu from seoul, in search of some form of independence before your inevitable fate plays out. there, you meet choi seungcheol, a confused and lonely boy who didn’t know how to deal with the love you gave him.

pairing: seungcheol x female reader

warnings: emotional and physical abuse, trauma, death during childbirth, cancer, & one makeout scene (non descriptive)

word count: 6,461

a/n: i’m not too proud of this, seeing as i wrote a lot of it while high. but i just need to post something!!

If there was one thing Seungcheol knew about his life, it was that he was painfully and utterly alone.

As a child, he would play by himself. The other kids looked at him with fear, since false rumors surrounded his name. Whenever the word “Seungcheol” was uttered, an untrue tale would soon be told about the poor boy.

He would go home to a quaint apartment every afternoon. When Seungcheol would first walk through the door, his father could be heard releasing a sigh of frustration. After a while, the sharp pain of never being enough turned into a dull ache. He just learned to live with it.

Barely.

He wouldn’t dare to ask his dad what was for dinner. Truth be told, the boy usually made himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every night. His father would never make food for him.

Seungcheol didn’t deserve his father’s love, he knew that. He knew that there was something wrong with the people that cared for him.

“You know, Seungcheol,” His dad would say, “you shouldn’t trust anyone that says they love you. They’re lying, you know that, right? No one could ever love you.”

“Of course,” Seungcheol meekly whispered, “it’s just not possible.”

The days would drag on like that. Empty, mind-numbing days where he would feel nothing but pure self-hatred and guilt. The days turned into weeks, which turned into months, then years. Those hurtful emotions just became a part of Seungcheol’s daily life. He got better at providing for himself, as his father seemed to wither away.

He had to feel the pain. If he were feeling anything remotely close to pleasure, he would just know that he didn’t deserve it.

He had survived all the way up until the age of seventeen that way. At that rate, he would die just the same way he lived—quietly and slowly.

But then, of course, you happened.

You were the new kid. You came in the middle of November, having missed a lot of the school year. It was typical of you, to arrive at the worst time.

You attracted everybody’s eyes the moment you stepped foot into the classroom. Even Seungcheol found himself staring at you. You elicited a pure kind of beauty, one that was enticing and tranquil.

“Ah, yes, Y/N! Please introduce yourself.” The teacher, Mr. Kim, suggested. You nodded, radiating with nothing but pure confidence.

Seungcheol didn’t know what that felt like, but he could recognize it. The way your dewy skin glowed, the way your smile was so damn charming, and the way you stood so proudly. It was truly admirable.

“Hey everyone! I’m Y/L/N Y/F/N, I’m from Seoul, and I really like to draw!”

Seungcheol couldn’t help but crack a small grin at your enthusiasm. But, that grin soon morphed into a frown of terror when you sat down next to him. With wide eyes, Seungcheol stared straight ahead, looking at anything else but you. You and your beautiful smile, one that immediately grasped the attention of everyone else around you. Soon, you were being swarmed by the other students, them asking you questions you had no trouble answering. You were mesmerizing—how did you just answer them? Like it was nothing? How did you not freeze up with pure terror?

The day continued on like that. People were fascinated with you, the girl from the big city of Seoul. Seungcheol thought he could feel your gaze on him every so often, but he was much too timid to see if his intuition were true. Instead, he decided to continue reading his Korean History textbook, secretly praying that he could fast-forward to the end of that day.

At lunch, you managed to become even more of a confusing person to Seungcheol. The large cafeteria left room for many tables, and Seungcheol naturally chose the one that was most isolated. Every afternoon, he would stick his earbuds in and shuffle Radiohead on his phone, sitting all by himself.

And, for whatever reason, you decided to sit next to him on that day. Seungcheol wouldn’t render the fact that you would forever change his life from that point on for a long time after that. In fact, all Seungcheol felt in that pivotal moment was fear. Why were you sitting next to him? Were you going to torment him? Did he do something wrong?

Contrary to Seungcheol’s fears, you did quite the opposite.

“Hey,” You began with a genuine smile on your face, “you’re Seungcheol, right?”

He froze up. He had no other choice! How could he not?

“H-how do you know my name?” Seungcheol managed to say. What a great first impression.

“Mr. Kim told me to sit next to you, and he mentioned your name when he told me. Sorry if that scared you!” You explained. There was something off in your explanation, though. It was the apology—it seemed too authentic. Like you were actually sorry. It didn’t sit right with him.

“Oh.”

You giggled. And, for a moment, everything seemed right in the world. It was as if your melodic laugh ripped the weight off of Seungcheol’s shoulders, even for a brief amount of time. Your laugh was strange, but it made him feel oddly free and unburdened. It almost felt like everything was going to be okay.

Seungcheol’s eyes blinked in your direction. Even if he wholeheartedly adored your laugh, he was wondering what caused you to do so.

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

He shook his head, his voluminous black hair shaking along with it. To you, Seungcheol was quite handsome. His doe-like brown eyes were quite refreshing, for some reason.

“So, you like Radiohead?”

“What?” Seungcheol gasped. You knew about Radiohead?

“I love Radiohead. They’re an amazing band!” You continued, rendering the poor boy speechless. Cool—you were so damn cool. Like the coolest person alive. You were confident, pretty, outgoing, and you fucking listened to Radiohead!

“Am I really playing it that loud?” Seungcheol laughed nervously. You nodded, but your expression was nonchalant. Unbothered. In fact, you seemed to welcome it.

“I’m not complaining!”

“Um,” Seungcheol began with his heart in his throat, “do you wanna listen? With me?”

The two seconds you took to “contemplate” his request felt like two hours. But, even though it was only two seconds, Seungcheol took in your entire appearance. You were undeniably beautiful, your eyes sparkly and your lips pursed with a playful kind of curiosity.

“I’d love to.”

So, he gave you one of the wires of his earbuds, and you gladly started listening along with him. You hummed along to the current song, which was Ripcord. Seungcheol stared at you, you who seemed so tranquil yet content in that simple moment. Your eyes were bright, and they looked at the world with such passion. Your smile was undeniably contagious, even if Seungcheol wanted to fight his own grin. Your posture was relaxed yet not hunched.

Everything about you was so...free.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You scared Seungcheol in the best way possible. A week after the two of you listened to Radiohead together, you still continued to sit next to him during lunch every day. You even gathered the courage to ask him for his number, to which he eagerly obliged to give you.

Yet, Seungcheol couldn’t help but feel the fear of uncertainty clutch at his heart every

time you talked to him. Were you just messing with him? Why were you being so damn kind? He didn’t deserve it—any of it. He didn’t deserve your unprecedented kindness or your cheesy jokes.

When were you going to leave, just like everyone else? Or turn on him? Seungcheol wanted you to do it as soon as possible, so he wouldn’t get too attached. It would make everything easier if you just hated him, like the rest.

But that’s the thing—you only seemed to like him more every day. And it scared the shit out of him. He had been told his entire life that he couldn’t trust anyone who told him that they loved him.

So why did he so willingly open his heart to you?

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It had been about a month since you’d come to Daegu, all the way from Seoul. December finally rolled around, making the weather drop dramatically. You loved the cold, for some reason. You flourished in the cold, in fact. The feeling of the frosty air against your skin just made everything better.

So, why were you so damn hot? It was December, and there you were, with Choi Seungcheol, in the art room at your current school. Your last class had already ended about an hour ago, but you asked Seungcheol to help you out with something in the art room. He happily helped, even if he tried to mask his joy with indifference. You couldn’t quite figure him out, but it’s not like he was some puzzle. He was a human being, but he was unlike any other person you had ever met. And you loved that.

Seungcheol was a breath of fresh air. Amid the chaos of your life, being able to talk to someone so tranquil and laid back was lovely. Even if you knew how things would end for you, and he did not, you still wanted to enjoy your adolescence. It was all you were ever going to have, anyway.

“So, what did you need my help with?” He nervously asked, coaxing a giggle out of you. He was so damn cute.

You walked over to a set of shelves, filled with various types of drawings and sculptures. Of course, the one you wanted to show him was on the top shelf. You jumped up and flailed your arms and tried to grab it, but it was no use.

Seungcheol snuck up on you like a cheetah to its prey, yet with no malicious intent. That boy was just so damn quiet. You froze when you felt his breath fan against your neck. He effortlessly reached up from behind you and grabbed the single drawing you were aiming for with ease. And, during that brief moment, your body temperature felt like it was raised by ten degrees. He handed you the paper, not even looking at what you drew. He just gave it to you, while wearing that stupid yet adorable smile of his. He didn’t even register the fact that he made you nervous on his radar. You didn’t know if you were grateful for that or not.

You finally managed to sputter a shy “thank you” and turned away, your cheeks reddened beyond belief. Then came the hard part, even if what you had just gone through nearly gave you a heart attack.

Seungcheol noticed your change in aura the moment you gave him the drawing you made. You, who was usually so damn confident and sure of herself, looked absolutely and utterly uncertain. And, before Seungcheol could even register that you had made that drawing for him, he came to a pivotal realization.

You were a human, just like him. You weren’t an angel, nor any other non-worldly being. You were mortal, and you got nervous just like him and everybody else on the planet. And, somehow, that made him feel ten times better. You weren’t perfect—good. That was good. He still liked you anyway.

Finally, Seungcheol looked down at the drawing. His eyes widened immediately. Shock rippled through his entire being, all the way to his core. But it wasn’t the type of shock that made him feel miserable, it was a type of shock that made him change the way he thought. Because, you had drawn him so wonderfully. It was simply him, sitting down on a lunch table, with his earbuds in. You had captured everything about Seungcheol so accurately, to the point where it made him feel like someone had taken a picture. The feeling was...lovely. Someone drew him. You drew him. And it was extraordinary.

You, who was so beautiful and passionate, you had put effort into making something for him. And he felt like the first time he heard you laugh—unburdened. Joyous. Like he could do anything. Like the world wasn’t so bad after all.

Seungcheol didn’t realize he was crying until you had cupped his face and wiped his tears away.

“Thank you,” He whispered, “from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.”

You smiled, feeling all of your nerves start to float away. He loved it, and you could tell from the moment he first laid eyes on the piece.

That was why you liked to draw. Because it could bring some love into the world, even if the amount was small and seemingly insignificant. But, you still managed to make someone smile that day. You made someone feel important and loved. It didn’t matter if it was only one person, because that was all you wanted anyway. If you could just make one person’s life a little bit brighter, then you had fulfilled your purpose.

In spite of his tears, Seungcheol looked the happiest you had ever seen him. And it made your heart swell with an intense kind of affection, one that made you feel warm despite the freezing temperature outside.

“Come on,” You laughed, “let’s go get hot chocolate or something.”

Seungcheol nodded, and he chuckled nervously. His voice was a bit cracked due to his crying, but you could tell that he was being genuine.

“That sounds wonderful.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Life was so damn unfair.

The doctor’s words rang through your ears unforgivingly, and you wanted nothing else but to scream at him. And everyone else in the world. You wanted to scream at whatever made you have to succumb to such a terrible fate.

“I’m afraid to say you don’t have much time left.”

You scoffed at those earth-shattering words.

“Fuck you.” You whispered to no one in particular. You were walking down the sidewalks of Daegu, passing through the crowd with anger in your heart. No one knew you. People could merely walk by you, look you in the eye, and then move on with their lives. Fuck them. They get to move on! They get to go and live their fucking lives!

And you? You get to die in six months. Maybe a few more if you’re lucky.

Tears are silently cascading down your face at that point, and there was no sign of them stopping. Your pace quickened, and your eyes were glued to the ground. Maybe, if you ignored everything for long enough, you could escape to a different reality. One where you weren’t destined to die as a teenager.

Alas, nothing like that happened. In fact, your day took a surprising turn. What was supposed to be a lonely Wednesday during winter break turned into one you would spend with Seungcheol, seeing as you had bumped into him on the pavement. Your brisk pace and inattentive eyes were your downfall. Seungcheol’s head was in the clouds, and the moment he registered the fact that you were going to crash into him, it was already much too late.

Afterwards, you backed up and wiped your tears. Your eyes met Seungcheol’s chocolate brown ones, and for a moment, you forgot the previous events of the day. You couldn’t help but smile, even if it was just for a bit.

“Y/N?” He croaked, fear thick in his tone. He was worried, since it was quite evident that you had been crying.

“Hey…” You sighed, scratching the back of your neck nervously. Reality had come back with an overpowering force, and you couldn’t contain the embarrassment you felt.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Liar.” His response was immediate.

Woah. Did Seungcheol just call you out? When did he become assertive?

Unbeknownst to you, Seungcheol was equally surprised with himself. What had compelled him to be so aggressive? Maybe it’s because of you. If it had been anybody else, he wouldn’t have pushed so hard. But he cared about you. So much. And, he didn’t want you to pretend to be okay. Hell—he was being a hypocrite. He pretended to be okay around you, too. But maybe that could change.

It was the afternoon before Christmas Eve. Usually, you would spend Christmas with your parents, but you had left them behind in Seoul. Once you found out your impending doom, your first wish was to leave Seoul and live independently for a while, since you never experienced something so monumental.

You wouldn’t ever experience a lot of things, would you?

The tears came back in an even stronger wave. Before you could stop him, Seungcheol had grabbed your wrist and pulled you to where he came from, which was his apartment complex. The two of you were previously standing in the middle of the sidewalk, and it had started to overwhelm the both of you.

And, with your wrist in his hand, the two of you ran to Seungcheol’s apartment. You could smell the frost in the air, and you felt alive. Because you were—you were alive. And you wouldn’t be for long.

So stop wallowing in your own self-pity! Make the most of it!

Your eyes flitted to Seungcheol’s face. His entire expression screamed “worried”. He seemed to pick up pace the closer the two of you got, which made it much harder for you to keep up with. But you did.

And you couldn’t help but realize how damn handsome he was. From the first day you had met him, he had enticed you. He was adorable, yet loving and kind. And you liked him. A lot.

So, you stopped dead in your tracks. Seungcheol, confused, looked at you with concerned eyes. Before he could say anything, you grabbed the collar of his sweater and pulled him close to you. And then you were kissing—and it felt just like you thought it would. Right. It felt right.

It had taken Seungcheol a few seconds to realize what was happening. Then, he had kissed you back with just as much passion. God, why didn’t you do this sooner?

His large hands cupped your face, and soon the two of you were full-on making out in front of his apartment complex. It got heated. Fast. And, suddenly, the deadly-cold air wasn’t cold enough to cool you off.

Finally, Seungcheol pulled away with a dazed expression. You gave him a shy yet snide smile.

“Well, um, that was...yeah.” He sputtered.

“You’ve got such a way with words.”

“Yeah, well, you fucking scared me, alright? Like, what the hell? You just—you just kissed me! Me! You kissed me!”

“I know.” You had to fight back your laughter.

“Well...um, why?”

“Because I like you, why else?”

Seungcheol’s frustration was oddly endearing to you. You couldn’t help the large smile that played at your swollen lips.

“But, you were crying! Why?”

You sighed. Suddenly, the smile on your face disappeared into a troubled frown. Seungcheol noticed your entire change in demeanor. He stepped closer, his confused nature being overshadowed by his concern.

“What’s wrong?” He continued. Tears started to fall from your eyes again. It was all so real—too real. You were dying. You were going to die, and there was nothing anybody in the world could do about it.

You jumped into Seungcheol’s arms, violently sobbing into the crook of his neck.

“Six months,” You began through cries, “I only have six months left to live. I thought I had more...I was doing so good.”

Shock. That’s all Seungcheol could feel when those words of poison fell from your mouth. This type of shock was unwelcomed. It wasn’t like what he felt when you showed him your drawing. No, this type of shock was suffocating. He wanted to break this shock, or wake up from it. Because what you said just couldn’t be real! It couldn’t be…

But it was.

“What?” Seungcheol croaked. You had pulled away from his frigid embrace, and you stared into his eyes. They were blown out with fear. It seemed as if he had not even considered denial. No, he knew that it was real. That’s why he looked so damn broken. Like a little kid.

And, selfishly, Seungcheol thought, of course. Of course you’re going to die.

Because the people who cared for him never stayed. He should have known—he should have fucking known!

But then, he felt utterly disgusted with himself. How dare he try to spin your fate into a problem of his own? The urge to vomit intensified.

“I have an inoperable brain tumor.” You confessed, your voice raw and broken.

Seungcheol began to cry, even more than you did. Because, oh god, he loved you. He loved you. And you had not known each other for long, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t fight the unbreakable feelings he had for you. So, after a little while, he swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath.

“Okay.” He stated plainly.

“What? ‘Okay’?”

“Yeah. Okay. I just have to accept it.”

Your look of confusion only got more intense.

“So, Y/N, what are you doing for Christmas?”

You scoffed. You knew exactly where he was going with that, but you couldn’t help but grin.

“Spending it with you?” You asked. A sad smile played at your lips.

“Spending it with me.” He answered.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Christmas rolled around rather quickly. You had been already planning on getting Seungcheol a present, which was another drawing. However, it was of the both of you that time. It was based off of a selfie you took during the middle of lunch. He was simply reading a book in the picture, the wires of his earbuds connecting the two of you. And, there you were, making a peace sign and smiling boldly. You had perfected the drawing down to every last detail; wanting to impress Seungcheol was something you desired greatly.

Finally, Seungcheol arrived at your apartment, a wrapped gift in hand. When your eyes met his, which were full of apprehension and anxiety, a smile melted across your face. And you felt it—that intense feeling of affection. One that you had never experienced before. It surged through you, from the bottom of your body up to your throat, taking your breath away.

“Come in.” You grinned.

He awkwardly stepped in, sliding his shoes off and on a pair of slippers.

And that’s when you noticed it—his black eye. It was swollen and made you grit your teeth upon first sight. A gasp fell from your lips, and you instinctively reached out for it, grazing your fingers on his skin slightly.

He stood frozen still.

“What happened?” You croaked. Seungcheol tensed up even more. Then the tears just fell, and they kept coming. Soon, the two of you were on your couch, Seungcheol sobbing into the crook of your neck.

You stroked his hair, silently comforting him. After a while, he finally managed to speak up.

“My f-father...did this to me.”

Your eyes went dark with anger. And soon the rage from the initial shock amplified immensely. But so did the pain in your aching heart.

“Has he done this before?”

Seungcheol shook his head. It dawned on you—Seungcheol knew so much about you, but you couldn’t say the same for him. His life had remained a mystery to you, and you couldn’t help but feel as if his silence was intentional.

“Why?” You exasperated, your voice going raw. Then, tears cascaded down your face just like Seungcheol.

“He...he thought I was leaving him and my mom behind for Christmas.”

“What did your mom say?”

“Nothing,” Seungcheol began, “she’s dead.”

Oh. Your crying intensified.

“My dad...is not well. But he refuses to go to the hospital. I think...I think he just doesn’t like Christmas. My mom died around this time a year. I don’t remember her, though.”

You swallowed the next onslaught of sobs. You finally detached yourself from Seungcheol’s grasp, and soon your expression became livid, yet worried.

“You don’t have to tell me more…”

His eyes lightened, even if just for a bit.

“I want to…” He shyly confessed, breaking eye contact. Your silence invited him to continue.

“My mom died giving birth to me. She had preeclampsia, and when she was giving birth, she had to choose whether to save herself or me. She chose me.”

Seungcheol’s eyes watered with tears again.

“It’s all my fault, Y/N,” He cried, “he hates me so much. Everyone does.”

Anger had overtaken you. How could he not see? He was such an amazing person! You couldn’t hold in the words anymore, you just had to tell him.

“I love you!” You screamed.

Time froze for a second. Almost as if the expression of shock on his face made everything cease to exist.. Seungcheol tensed up and incessantly shook his head.

“No, you don’t. You can’t…”

“Your father...he’s just looking for someone to blame. Just like I am. Just like my parents will and just like you will after I’m gone. But we all need to realize that there is just simply no one to blame!”

“You’re wrong! It’s my fault, it’s all my fucking f—”

“Your father is wrong. He’s wrong because I love you. He’s wrong because you made me look forward to the rest of the time I have left!”

Seungcheol’s tears stopped. He stood eerily still after your impactful worlds, concerningly so.

He finally looked up to you, his brown eyes painfully staring into yours.

“What?” He mustered.

“Seungcheol, I’m dying. I have no time to hate myself or the world around me. I have no time to blame anyone. My life just happened to turn out like this. I’m going to die young...and I’m so fucking scared. But you know what?”

“Y/N, I—”

“You fuckin’ know what, Seungcheol? I’m not dead yet. I’m breathing, I’m thinking, I’m moving, I’m existing! And I don’t want to live the rest of the short amount of time I have left in fear. So I choose to be with you. To live with you.”

A long silence followed.

Then, he took a deep breath, held it in for ten seconds, and let it out. He got out his present for you.

“Open it.”

Your eyes scanned the disorderly wrapping, which made you scoff lightly. Finally, you started to tear at the paper, anxiety building with each rip.

Then you smiled.

He got you a CD player, along with the disk of “Pablo Honey” by Radiohead. That album had “Ripcord” on it, the song that played the first time you both talked.

“I love it,” You grinned, “thank you.”

Soon, he had opened your present, and he smiled like a complete idiot. And you relished in that fact.

Later on, after the tension had disappeared from the air, the two of you sat on your couch watching TV. Your phone, which was in the kitchen, had started to ring.

You ran to it as Seungcheol had paused the television. And he couldn’t help but hear your voice and just how it slightly changed when you picked up the phone.

“Hey Mom and Dad, Merry Christmas!” You greeted. Your face fell after a few more seconds, but your false cheery tone didn’t fade away.

“Yeah, I’m doing great right now. I actually have a friend over! His name is Seungcheol.” And then some incoherent rambling was heard on the other line, something he couldn’t quite make out.

“Alright, bye! Talk to you tomorrow. Love you guys!”

You set your phone down on the counter, and Seungcheol couldn’t help but train his eyes onto you.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“It sucks,” You began with a sad smile, “having to pretend to be okay. Doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he defeatedly replied, “it sucks.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A mutual understanding was developed between you two. One that acknowledged both of your feelings and situations.

You both loved each other. But neither of you knew exactly what to do with that fact.

Finally, winter started to end. The New Year came and went, and you went home to Seoul, celebrating it with your parents. During his time alone with his father, Seungcheol finally took him to the doctors. He had been prescribed many different medications, ones that Seungcheol had to monitor.

One March evening, where the breeze was lovely and not too cold, Seungcheol walked through the streets of Daegu. And he was just thinking.

With his hands in his pockets, his mind uncontrollably wandered to you. Your smile, your laugh, and your inevitable fate. A suffocating ache soon took a hold of his heart, encasing it mercilessly. How much time did he have until you left him?

When would he be alone again?

When would the days continue to be meaningless endeavors, that dragged on purposelessly?

When would his world come crashing down?

Just when he was about to fall apart, to overflow, your voice was heard among the night.

“Cheol?” You called out. He didn’t realize he was walking past your apartment complex until then. Coincidentally, you had been taking out the trash. He took long strides to you, his gaze intense.

“I’m so scared.” The sincerity in his voice and the look in his eyes said everything you needed to know.

“Me too.” You morosely grin, a faraway look in your eyes.

“I wanna be with you.”

“I wanna be with you, too.” The intensity in your eyes matched Seungcheol’s.

“We should stop wasting our time, right?” You sheepishly question. He nods solemnly. A few moments of silence pass.

“This means you’re my girlfriend now, right?” He asks. You cannot contain the initial reaction to giggle.

“Yes, that’s what it means.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You start getting visibly worse around the beginning of April. You missed school a lot, due to painful migraines and overall weakness. Seungcheol, at first, pretended not to notice. But it got to a point where beating around the bush got neither of you anywhere.

He started to miss school too. Just so he could spend the day by your side, listening to Radiohead and fooling around.

Although you were physically deteriorating, the spark of confidence in your eyes never disappeared. It didn’t even flicker with doubt. You were a fighter, that’s for sure.

“Y/N,” Seungcheol began on a day the both of you skipped school, “I have a question.”

You, who was snuggled up against him underneath a blanket, watching reruns of “The Office”, adjusted your body a bit.

“Shoot.”

“How are you so confident?”

A helpless smile spread across your lips.

“I’m not, I just want others to think I am.” You confessed

“Oh.” Seungcheol muttered. And then it hit him—wow—you were damn good at pretending.

“Cheol, you think everyone else except you has their shit together, don’t you?”

He nodded.

“Well, they don’t. Nobody knows what the hell they’re doing, alright? We’re all pretending that we do, though. So that no one will ever know the truth.”

His eyes, which only seemingly got deeper and easier to lose yourself in by the second, bored into yours.

“You’re so cool, Y/N.”

You lean in and give him a brief kiss, smiling into it.

“I know.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Who’s that one girl you’re always hanging out with?” Seungcheol’s father interrogated. He was making dinner for himself, his dad sitting on the couch flipping through television channels.

Oh, Seungcheol thought, he noticed?

“My girlfriend.” He responded, not finding any use in lying.

His father turned the TV off.

“What?”

“She’s my girlfriend, Dad.”

“You sure she’s not using you? You know, you’re not exactly the most lovable—”

“Dad?” Seungcheol interrupted.

“Yes?” He responded, his tone gruff and short.

“Do you still feel the need to blame me?” Seungcheol blurted, his eyes squeezed shut out of fear. He felt like bile was going to pour out of his mouth in an instant. Anxiety surrounded him like he was the eye of a hurricane.

“What did you say?”

Despite feeling nothing but pure, unfiltered fear, Seungcheol persisted.

“Do you still need to blame me? For what happened to Mom? It’s been seventeen years, Dad. It’s no one’s fault—”

“You shut your mouth—”

“Please, Dad. She’s dead! She’s not gonna come back…”

Seungcheol soon found himself crying, images of you prominent in his head.

“She’s not gonna come back.” He repeated, that time to himself.

His eyes flitted toward the digital clock under the TV. It read 10:38 PM, on a Thursday night during early May. Your time together was running out.

“And there’s no one to blame, even if I want there to be someone, there just isn’t. I’m...I’m gonna miss her so much.”

“What?”

Seungcheol shook himself out of it, refocusing his attention back onto his father.

“Do you think Mom wanted you to treat me like this? Is this what she died for?”

He doesn’t give his dad the time to answer, for Seungcheol grabbed his keys and phone, and stormed out of the apartment.

He wanted to see you, so badly.

He dialed your number into his phone, the lovely breeze of the May evening kissing his skin. But there’s no answer.

So he called again. And again.

Soon, he was running to where your apartment complex was, his lungs burning. And the anxiety he felt was quite prominent, achingly so. No. He wanted to see you.

He needed to see you.

Seungcheol finally arrived at the apartment complex, and he used the keys you gave him to get in. He tried to wait for an elevator to come and get him, but he deemed it as “too slow” and sprinted up the stairs instead.

Please be okay.

The nervous boy fumbled with the key while trying to unlock your door. Finally, he weaseled his way into your apartment, tears uncontrollably cascading down his cheeks.

“Y/N!” He screamed. Soon, he was able to hear running water.

You were just taking a shower.

“Cheol?”

“Yeah, it’s me…” He panted, hunched over. You quickly got dressed and ran out.

“Are you okay?” You worriedly asked when your eyes met his.

“Yeah, I-I’m fine. Just got a bit worried, that’s all.” He scratched the back of his neck, almost like he was ashamed.

You knew why he was with you.

Tears started to well up in your eyes, guilt washing over you so much you could drown in it.

“I’m sorry…” You croaked.

“What?” Seungcheol questioned, surprised at your sudden change in demeanor.

“I...I won’t be by your side for much longer. I’m...so sorry!”

You began to wail uncontrollably. Seungcheol just simply held you in his arms, reassuring you every few minutes. But it was to no use—what you said was true. Your body was starting to wilt away.

“Don’t apologize,” he began with a sad glint in his brown eyes, “this is no one’s fault.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

June was in full bloom. The excruciating heat was prominent in the air just about every day.

One night, you were overcome with fatigue. Plus, the pain in your head wasn’t subsiding, no matter how much Advil you took.

Your vision began to blur. It went in and out of focus, and you weren’t really looking at anything. Your eyelids grew heavier, and soon you just couldn’t keep them open anymore.

You knew what was happening.

For some reason, your mind replayed the first time you spoke to Seungcheol in your head. You could hear “Ripcord” so clearly, almost like it was being played at that exact moment.

You watched his smile of shyness and uncertainty bloom into one of confidence and authenticity.

Seungcheol was...so nice.

Your arm extended out to the air in front of you, reaching for his face. It felt like he was right there, next to you.

He wasn’t.

I guess this is it, you thought.

I hope...someone else can take care of Cheol.

The selfie you had taken of the both of you flashed in your mind. You hoped he still had the drawing of it—the one that you made.

“I love you, Cheol…”

His smile replayed in your mind.

“Thank you…”

His warm gaze comforted you.

“I hope...you let yourself be happy, Cheol.”

Your vision turned bright, and soon life left your body like a bird flying away, never to return.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It had been about four months since you died. Seungcheol graduated high school, and his plan was to study abroad in America.

He didn’t think he was going to return.

Nothing kept him rooted to Korea. In fact, he wanted to leave. His father was a shell of a human, and Seungcheol was afraid he was going to turn out just like him.

He continued to pack everything he needed, his mind elsewhere. But then the picture you drew of him was suddenly in his hands. It brought Seungcheol back to reality.

Like a closet door shut tight, Seungcheol kept everything he felt locked away. But he just broke at the sight of your lovely drawing of him.

He started to sob. His throat grew painfully dry, and his cries turned into silent gasps.

“Where are you?” He screamed. He longed to see you more than anything else. But you were six feet under, and he was not. He was alive and breathing. Without you.

You’re not going to come back.

He was alone.

Seungcheol was alone.

Why had the world moved on? Your parents went back to work, and your classmates graduated and were going off to college.

Why was everyone else okay except him?

Seungcheol then remembered something you taught him.

Everyone’s just faking it. No one really knows what they’re doing.

He smiled forlornly.

You loved him, and because of that, he wasn’t alone. If he carried your love with him everywhere he went, he would never truly be alone.

If there was one thing that Seungcheol knew about his life, it was that he knew nothing at all. And, for some reason, that felt okay.

All you wanted for Seungcheol was for him to live a life of happiness. He knew that.

So, that’s exactly what he would do. And, as the years passed by, happiness wasn’t such a foreign concept anymore.

Seungcheol didn’t have to deal with the ache of isolation, for that’s not how life is meant to be lived.

Your melodic laugh reverberated throughout his mind. He smiled.

Everything would be okay.

123 notes · View notes

labyrinthsofyou · 4 years

Text

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

pairing: wong yukhei & female reader

genre: fluff & mild suggestive mentions

words: 2, 800

summary: yukhei replaces the most important part of his body with you.

author’s note: tenses change to indicate present and past. my first story with wong yukhei. happy reading!

“look at this, babe!”

your eyes tear away the book in your hands and move to your confident boyfriend who loves to flex in front of the mirror after his workout. wong yukhei who prides himself on exercise, on maintaining the healthy and fit body that helps him through the hours of practices and weeks of tours, loves to show you all his hard work. you make eye contact with him through the mirror. his eyebrow quirks. an arm rises. and his signature smile paints his face as he showcases his biceps.

“don’t you just love them?”

you playfully roll your eyes.

yukhei shifts his position then and shows you both arms all flexed out.

“of course,” you reply with grin.

you take the bookmark on the nightstand beside you and slip it between the pages. bare feet on the carpet floor, you get off the bed to make your way to him. the light sheen on his body is still apparent from the noon sunlight filtering into the shared bedroom. you stand next to him. eyes meeting through your reflections, your hands reach up to give his muscles a squeeze. they're hard underneath your touch. you have to chuckle just a little. “so strong just for me, right? so you can protect me?”

“you got that right!” yukhei tells you with much enthusiasm.

you humor him. “how about your six friends?” you love to, just for the excited look on his face right now. “how did they do today?”

his face glows. he laughs with a tint of pink on his cheeks every time you say that. but regardless, yukhei grabs the hem of his shirt and lifts it confidently to reveal the define lines on his torso.

you run your fingers along his body, still warm and slightly sticky from the workout, admiring the tighten muscles. “so sexy. my kind of man.” you make your voice swoon with a sweet sigh.

“hm, I always knew you were only with me for my body,” yukhei runs a hand through his hair, black and unstyled from the norms of hair spray. “and charming good looks,” he finishes with his tongue snaking out to lick the corner of his mouth. the smile broadens on his face. your eyes never break from one another. you see the teasing in him.

“oh, definitely. i love your arms.” he laughs. “i love your abs.” you love playing along with him. “i love your shoulders,” you say as you raise your hands to rest on them.

yukhei drops the hem of his shirt and stands straighter. he squares up his shoulders. you give them a squeeze too. how they become your makeshift pillow countless times when you fall asleep on him during your movie night dates. how he never pushes you off either. but instead he leans down to you, resting his cheek against the top of your head and falls asleep himself.

“and those legs,” you tell him with a smile. yukhei puts out a leg, long and toned. he bends slightly to validate the length of them.

he is tall and he makes you feel small even if you aren’t short. your head is able to rest on his shoulder when you take midnight walks. he can press his lips to your forehead easily. but when you stand next to him, when he is being cuddly and covers your body with his and legs are tangled, he makes you feel small.

he makes you feel protected.

you lean down and slide your hand onto his thigh. “don’t forget about those thighs, too!” yukhei rolls up the basketball shorts he’s wearing to give you a better view.

that’s your seat, you like to joke. yukhei never argues that though.

even if there are seats available, he always wants you to sit on his lap. a usual mix of 'come sit with me,’ which really meant come sit on me, and just him gently tugging you towards him.

when you had quietly asked him about it once, yukhei had admitted with a shy smile, “i just want you close to me… that’s all.” you had kissed his cheek, feeling the heat of embarrassment from his confession.

and every time, given how touchy he always is, his hands never stop. drawing circles on the small of your back. squeezing and rubbing your thigh. soothing you and reminding him you are there with him.

that thought brings you back.

“and most definitely your hands, babe. i love your hands.

yukhei holds his hands in front, admiring the part of his body that holds you, warms you, calms you and makes you crazy with the smallest touch. magic hands you had referred to them once because of everything he can do with them. he had loved the title and immediately proved to you why he deserved it.

you reach for his hand. larger than yours he will never let you forget. warm like always. you intertwine your fingers together to bring the back of his hand to your lips. you press a kiss to it. you find his gaze once more.

“you know you’re just so handsome and i love every part of you.” yukhei plays bashful. but you're completely truthful.

“and you’re beautiful. that’s why me and you together,” yukhei clicks his tongue, releases your hand and gives a chef’s kiss. “we can’t be matched,” he says proudly with a beam. yukhei wraps his arm around your shoulder and bends down to press a sloppy and very wet kiss to your cheek.

your giggle filters through the room before you speak. “but do you know what i love most about you?”

yukhei ponders the question. his arms? no. his shoulders? no. his abs? no

he turns his head dramatically to the side. “my jawline!” and lifts his hand to run the back of his index finger around it. your laughter and touch follow his, running along the edge of it as well. you can spend hours, and have, laying with him just pressing your lips to it as his hands roam your body. but you shake your head.

yukhei thinks for a moment before he puckers his lips like he had done once in an interview.

“sexy lips!” he declares confidently.

plump and soft, they are simply always kissable. his lips work wonders on your body. they bring you to another dimension. and every time his lips find yours, whether it’s chaste or passionate, each kiss cannot be compared. yet each one sends sparks soaring from your fingertips to your toes. each kiss makes your stomach fill with butterflies. that never fails. you bring your thumb to his lips and lightly swipe across it. then you sigh cause it's not.

is this a trick question? his eyebrows furrow. he contemplates for a minute until his face lights up.

“my face! the main point!” yukhei claps his hands. it has everything he thinks. eyes that will make you faint. a smile that can melt you. the expression he offers you tells you he’s positive of his answer.

yes, his face is something else. a work of art that should be on magazine covers and studied because every time you look at him, you are amazed by every centimeter of it. you scrunch up your nose though since no, it’s not.

yukhei looks at you skeptically before raising both eyebrows and clears his throat loudly for dramatic effects because he definitely knows now. he smirks. his hand moves down. your eyes follow. for a second, he palms himself. while you do love and enjoy that part of him tremendously and in every way possible, you shake your head with a loud laugh.

confusion and disbelief cover his face because it’s a no for everything. “you’re-”

his words calling you a liar are cut when you move to stand on your toes. you grip his shirt. his hands, warm and comforting, instinctively settle on your hips to pull you closer. your lips rest beside his ear.

you can’t see it.

your hand settles on his chest.

but you can feel it.

“your heart.”

and the answer leaves your mouth just loud enough for yukhei to hear.

because what you love most about him is underneath the skin and bones.

when he makes you laugh and smile because everything about his laugh and smile is contagious. when he says nothing and wraps his arms around you because he wants you to know he’s there for you. when he stands behind you in large crowds because he knows it makes you uneasy. when he buries his face into the crook of your neck to inhale the scent of lavender on you so he can remember it when he’s away. when he goes on tour at the other side of the world and sneaks off for a minute just to wish you sweet dreams. when he comes back from those tours at the other side of the world and hugs you tight so he can pepper your face with kisses. when your back presses to his chest and you feel his lips against the nape of your neck before you drift off to sleep. when he brings your cold hands to his mouth to warm with his breath because sometimes you forget your gloves. when he brings you your favorite jasmine tea when you’re feeling under the weather. when he adds to the bucket list of all the cities and countries you need to visit because he thinks you deserve to see the world. and when he looks at you, whether you are in a sea of people or alone as he covers your body with his, yukhei looks at you as if you hang the stars in the night sky.

yes, he is handsome. but his heart makes him beautiful.

his heart, that’s what you love most about him.

your feet firm on the floor again, you glance up at him to search for a response in his eyes because yukhei says nothing then. to be quite honest, a part of you is proud of yourself. it is not often you can make him speechless. quick with his words and comebacks he always is.

but right now, yukhei isn’t because of all the things he thinks of, that answer never crosses his mind. his hands slide behind you, fingers splaying on the small of your back. you feel the quickening thumps of his heart underneath your palm. a soft and sweet smile you offer him as the heat on your cheeks build under his stare.

“what?”

yet yukhei provides you no answer to your question.

because it is everything on the outside of him that draws people in at first. it's his looks, his height, the usual that he knows too well.

but not with you.

not when he had first walked into the café and saw you working in between classes on a very sunny tuesday afternoon. not when he came back every week possible after whenever he needed his caffeine fix. not when he came in twice still wearing his performance outfit with his hair styled and he had felt someone take a picture of him. you had not treated him any differently. but the smiles you had given him made his heart fluttered. the small talk he had experienced only made him want a little more.

just one moment was all yukhei had needed.

and on a very rainy thursday morning and him being clumsy and not paying attention because he just wanted your attention, yukhei had slipped. the sign he missed. on the floor he landed. the coffee in his grasp had splattered all over. embarrassed he had been. attention from you he had finally received.

beside him you had appeared asking if he was alright and ready to clean. instead yukhei had apologized profusely as he ignored the pain that was settling in him and stood up. but you had reassured him it was okay with sincerity because it hadn’t been the first mess and wouldn’t be the last. regardless though, yukhei had helped you clean it up because insistent he was since it was his fault. once he had been finished though, with the closer than normal proximity to you, he had pushed his nerves to the side. this had been the one moment he needed. his hand had extended and yukhei had introduced himself.

the nervousness had radiated off of him. his eyes had been so large and hopeful, waiting for your reaction. your gaze had shifted between his face and his hand as you had tucked the falling piece of hair behind you ear. and then you had playfully questioned if he had slipped and dropped the coffee just so he could talk to you.

his face had heated up. yukhei had let out the breath he had been holding. a deep chuckle had soon followed. you hadn’t been able to bite back a smile.

then his hand you had taken.

yukhei had sworn it stopped raining at that moment.

and now, the longer yukhei stares at you looking at him with your sweet and teasing smile, he has no regrets.

when he finds you waiting up for him in the late nights to early mornings because sometimes that is the only time you get to spend together. when you put your hand against his and he sees the size difference that makes him laugh and you giggle. when he lays his head on your lap so you can thread your fingers through his hair. when you reassure him in the quiet nights that he’s doing well because sometimes he is too hard on himself. when you jump into his arms backstage after his shows and tell him how proud you are of him. when you whisper through the phone and video chats that you sleep better when he’s beside you. when you shower him with your kisses all over his body on the rare days off that makes him want to stay in bed all day. when you never fight his wish of staying in bed all day on those said rare days off because you want him as much as he wants you. and when you tell him the three little words, whether you are face to face or miles apart, yukhei feels the meaning in every part of it.

he will slip and drop that coffee all over again for you to take his hand and change his world.

yukhei bends down, his arms moving to wrap around you. you will never be tired of being caged in his embrace. the tip of his nose brushes gently against yours once, then twice before his head tilts the smallest degree. his mouth finds yours and you feel it again.

the love and meaning in it when your lips meet. the fluttering in your stomach begins.

slow and sweet it is until one of his hands comes up to cradle your neck. your arms slip over his shoulders. his hold of you tightens. on your toes you go once more. the added height allows you to deepen the kiss as the tiny gap between your bodies disappears. yukhei angles his head a bit more and pushes forward a touch. you moan into his mouth, the position offering you more of what you want from him.

but almost as soon as you do though, yukhei pulls away with you almost chasing after him. just a little longer you want him lingering across your lips. he opens his eyes. his slightly ragged breaths tickle your skin. you with your faintly parted lips, closed eyes, and heated face because of him, yukhei thinks this is one of his favorite sights of you. and when you open your eyes moments later and find him watching you, a light breathless laugh escapes you.

he doesn’t know how it’s possible. but it is.

“you don’t know, do you?” yukhei asks softly, almost dreamily.

your hands move to clasp behind his neck. the small nudge you give him has him bumping his forehead to yours.

you will never be tired of having him so close.

a low hum you release before you question quietly. “know what?” the curiosity hangs in your response.

his hand travels up to cup your face. eyes never faltering from yours, his mouth forms a tiny grin.

all yukhei sees is stars. all yukhei feels is love.

and then he leans in again. his lips stop mere centimeters from your very own. a tease, you think he is. but a perfect moment he believes because when your attempt to bite back a smile fails just like that very day, the grin on his face widens.

yukhei knows for certain without a doubt.

“you are my heart.”

#lucas scenarios #yukhei scenarios #lucas fluff #yukhei fluff #lucas imagines #yukhei imagines #wayv scenarios #nct scenarios

166 notes · View notes

staywritten · 4 years

Text

To Be Expected│Bang Chan

Synopsis: You sent your boyfriend to buy a pregnancy test, what could you possibly expect?

Genre: One shot, fluff, expecting parents

Word Count: 2412

Masterlist. AO3

This scenario also has absolutely nothing to do with my Dad!Chan series, this was just a one off idea and Chan’s my ult so I wrote about him again.

“Babe, which one am I supposed to buy?” Chris grumbled into his phone in English, taking salvation in hoping that the old man working couldn’t understand him. There was nothing more embarrassing than standing in a convenient store in the middle of the night looking at the various pregnancy test.

“I don’t fucking know Chris” you groaned pacing back and forth in your living room. “I haven’t done this before-just get all of them.”

“All? There’s like thirty different brands. Have you lost your mind?”

“Yes, Chris. Yes I have because SOMEBODY may have gotten me pregnant.”

“Don’t blame me for all of this, we’re a team. You’re equally responsible.” He sighed looking at the shelves “…Hmmm this should be fine right?” He shrugged, grabbing the more inexpensive of the brands. There was no way in hell he was going to leave this convenient store with only a pregnancy test. He grabbed chips, cookies, and drinks. Anything that’ll prolong the clerk from getting to the pregnancy test. “Babe, you want anythin?”

“Yes, I want to not be pregnant”

“Anything I can get you at the store?” he chuckled.

“Hmm maybe a bottle of soju?”

“How ‘bout somethin not harmful to the possible baby?”

“Good point... ice cream?”

“Deal” he smiled, tossing the ice cream on top and walking over to the counter. Fidgeting and clearing his throat as the clerk took out each and every item scanning and bagging them at arctic speeds. Luckily for him the old man wasn’t too talkative, but he did notice how he paused and side eyed him when he got to the pregnancy test. It was the same judgemental look he expected any grandfather to give him.

There was something about a pregnancy test.

The directions were so simple to follow. There really wasn’t any room for error, and yet you still had to read them over and over and over just to be sure you did it right. You even had Chris read over it a few times.

You set your alarm and then the anxiety set in. This was going to be the longest five minutes of your life.

How did you even wind up in this mess? You were always so careful. Very careful. You’d been on birth control for years it was like second nature to you. But one tiny slip up. One slight lapse in judgment. One bottle of soju too many and all your indiscretion was tossed out the window.

Laying on the bed with Chris you sighed. His king Charles spaniel Berry, tucked by the foot of the bed. It’s like your anxiousness was contagious. This was the calmest she’d ever been, it was like she was trying to ease your nerves. “…What if it’s positive..?” you fiddled with your nightshirt, your nerves restless. “What do we do?”

He smoothed down your hair in an attempt to calm you. “Then we’re gonna be parents.” he shrugged and laughed.

“…Can we afford to be?” you never wanted to be on a tight budget with a baby. You didn’t want to be in a position where you had to decide if you could afford to take care of another human.

“I mean we both have stable jobs. If anything we might have to dip into our savings to get by for a few months but we’re gonna be ok.” he shrugged “If we get desperate you know my parents will help out”

“Where are we gonna put a baby Chris…? There’s no room.” you released a deep sigh. You two had a nice little place. A one bedroom condo, with an office, that he’d turn into a studio. You never needed the extra room before but it became very apparent to you that children needed a nursery, maybe a playroom? Somewhere to explore and live, a place to grow, somewhere safe.

A home.

“We’ll just get a bigger place” he gave you a warm dimpled smile. “We can get a house, with a playroom, and a little nursery for him, and a lawn.” he grinned. “I miss having a big back yard, running around in the back with my Dad, playing with my siblings...We can share all of that with him” he placed his hand on your stomach.

“Everything’s so simple to you isn’t it?”

“‘Course it is” he pressed a kiss to your hair line, brushing his nose down yours. “I love you, why wouldn’t it be simple?”

Then it dawned on you.

This was a conversation you two never had. It just never came up, you knew he was good with kids and he always seemed like the kind of person that would want a big family, but you just never asked. Personally you wanted a family, maybe two kids but Chris was your partner, if he told you he didn’t want kids you weren’t sure what you would do. You loved him, but that was the one thing that could probably break your relationship, so you just avoided it.

It was selfish, but you were scared.

Before you knew it four years had passed. You two had a comfortable relationship, a cozy little apartment and dreams of the future. But was this something he wanted? “Chris...Do you want to be a parent?” you looked over to him. “No pressure but…? Would you want to?”

“You ask me this now?” he laughed ruffling your hair. “Of course I do. It’s a little sooner than expected but I always wanted a kid. And I mean we've been together for so long my Mum is pretty much just expecting it by this point.” he chuckled. “A little bub crawling around, I could even bring ‘em to work with me.”

“Really?” you sat up staring at him, a little dumbfounded. You partially expected him to say yes, you just weren’t expecting that much enthusiasm. “You thought about that?”

“Sure, little ankle biter at my shows. I can stay home with ‘em when you’re at work or I could bring him to my job. I’ll teach him all about producing and music. Whatever the Tike wants to know.” he chuckled “And it’s not like we have a shortage of Baby sitters, the guys could help out too”

He was always so passionate, and you loved that he was eager to pass that on. He was going to make such a great father. You turned on your side facing him, a smile on your face. “So you’ve already decided it’s a boy?” you brushed a hair out of his face.

He placed his hand on your stomach playfully. “Oh, a father knows. And that there is a boy.”

You laughed leaning your head on his arm and playfully hitting his nose. “I think you’re just afraid of a daughter.”

He leaned into you brushing his nose against yours, and a dazzling smile on his lips, his cheek dimpling. “Terrified.”

Pecking his lips, you grinned. “She’d have you so whipped.”

“Absolutely. Without a doubt. If she’s anything like you, the whole world will be hers.” he caressed your cheek lovingly. “She could just stare up at me with her beautiful doe eyes and I’d be a goner.” He brushed your hair behind your ear and smirked “Can’t let girls outnumber me between you and Berry I’m already weak, so I’m gonna hope for my little man.” seeing you laugh he couldn’t help but smile. “And she’d never be allowed to date so let’s hope for a boy”

He knew this was terrifying for you. You were almost shaking when you set down the pregnancy test. He needed to ease your mind. He had his own fears. Less so about financials and more so on if he would just be a good dad. Was he good enough? Was he gonna figure it out? Was he going to be the man you needed him to be?

He wanted to be loving, he wanted to be their friend. But he needed to be stern. He wanted to raise them right. But he somehow knew he could if it was with you. “What about you Love? Girl or boy?”

You touched your stomach, mulling it over. “Hmmm… no preference. I just want them healthy.” Shrugging you looked at him. “Honestly, I would like one of each at some point. You ok with that?” you stroked his hand softly.

“Of course I am. We can have an army if you’d like”

“Woah, calm yourself. Let’s just take this one step at a time.” you giggled letting him pull you into his chest.

Suddenly being a mother was a lot less terrifying. You could picture it all so well now. You two could move into a new place after your lease was up. Paint the nursery, talk about baby names, pick out clothes. And you just knew your kid was going to be so loved. Between you two and your family, friends, and all of his members, they were going to have the best support system.

Hearing the alarm Chris jumped up. “You ready?”

“I-I…” shaking your head you covered your eyes. “I can’t look. You do it” That very anxiety that Chris worked so hard to disperse came rearing its ugly head.

He walked over to the counter in the bathroom and turned off the alarm on his phone. Walking out with the pregnancy test in hand he took a deep breath. “Ready…?”

“No. Yes. No” you groaned hugging the pillow to your body. “Yes-Ugh-Just tell me” your heart was racing a mile a minute. “Wait no” you huffed hugging your pillow to your body tighter. “I’m scared”

“Baby…It’s negative.” he set down the test on the dresser. He could pinpoint the exact moment your heart broke. “I…Babe…I’m sorry I-”

“….what?” you dropped the pillow, to look at him. Berry instantly going over to you and nuzzling you with her nose. “No…” your eyes glazed over as you shook your head. “No?”

His shoulders slumped as he walked over to you. He placed his hand on top of Berry, rubbing her head. “It’s…negative.”

“Oh that’s…that’s good.” you swallowed hard, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes. “What a relief…r-right?” your voice breaking at every word. “Everything’s fine. Back to normal.” you forced a smile that didn’t reach your eyes.

“Babe?” he crawled on to the bed. “You ok?”

“No, I’m fine.” you sniffled. “I’m fine. I’m-” but the moment he pulled you into his arms the dam broke and you just lost it. “Why…why does it hurt…?” you gripped his shirt. “I didn’t even lose anything…right? So why does it hurt so much….?” you mumbled into his broad chest, your little hands clenching at his shirt. “I...Why am I crying… This is so stupid…” you sobbed.

“You know I love you right..? I love you with all my heart…We’ll get through this…” he rubbed your shoulders lovingly. “Baby it’ll be ok”

“Chris…I…I think I really…really wanted this baby…” you rest your chin on his chest, looking up at him. “I loved them already and they never existed and I…”

“I’m so sorry…” he felt helpless, all he could do was hold you. He had to be strong for you, you needed him.

It wasn’t as if you two couldn’t just get pregnant on purpose. This was supposed to be a good thing, wasn’t it? Now you two could plan your future better, right? Wait until your married, even more financially stable and plan for a child. And yet you couldn’t help but feel at a loss. This beautiful picture of your family was slipping away from you. And it broke you.

“…I just…need a minute…” you wiped your tears, moving out of bed, and walking toward the bathroom. On your way into it, you stopped at the dresser, looking down at the heartbreaking test. “…Chris…There’s two lines…”

“Yeah…”

“Two lines mean pregnant” you whispered.

“No, it’s not. One line is pregnant.” he dug through the garbage to get out the packaging. Reading over it his eyes widened. “Wait…no it’s not…are you…?” he looked over at you with wide eyes. “Are we- Could it have changed?”

“Maybe? It’s been a few minutes. I have to take another test now.” you looked back at him a frantically. “Should I?”

He nodded “I think we should” he grabbed his jacket “I’m gonna go buy a new one”

“I’ll go with you” you threw on a pair of sweatpants and followed him out.

After another run to the convenient store, another judgmental look from the old man working, and opting for a more expensive brand you found yourself in that same anxious position.

Just waiting.

Both of you refused to leave the bathroom, wanting to see the results the moment it happened. He gave your hand a comforting squeeze. “Baby you gotta calm down” he laughed nervously, he could practically feel your pulse.

“I can’t~” you whined “I’m trying but like I’m anxious, what if it’s negative again?”

“If it’s negative then we both start planning for a kid ‘cuz it became real clear that this is something we both want” he pulled you closer, kissing your hand. “You want this and I want this, so even if you aren’t pregnant in this very second, we’ll still have a family”

And after three minutes you checked the test with him.

You stared down at the test, it was spelled out and yet you still had to re-read it a few times just to confirm. “Pregnant…” you looked over to him, still blinking in disbelief at the words before you. “That…that says pregnant right?” your eyes filled with tears showing him the test.

“It says pregnant.” he grinned, hugging you tightly. “We’re gonna be parents!”

“We’re gonna be parents!!!” you cried jumping up with him.

“I’m gonna be a Dad- you’re gonna be a Mum.”

“We’re gonna have a baby”

“God, I love you so much!!” he pulled you into a kiss, hugging you tight.

“I love you too Chris…we’re…we’re gonna have a family!” you cupped his face. Berry barked circling you two, happily.

End.

Hey Friends! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ I hope you guys liked that! I realised that I never had a simple one shot for Chan and needed to change that.

Fun fact I actually wrote the scenario a few years back for a different person, so I changed it a bit for Chan. It was nice breathing some new life into it.

Tags: @skzsprinkles @tophuphu @hugs4chan @channieboyo

#stray kids #stray kids fluff #stray kids reaction #stray kids scenario #stray kids x reader #stray kids oneshot #bang chan #bang chan scenarios #bang chan imagines #bang chan fluff #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop scenario #kpop imagines #skz fluff #skz fanfic #skz scenario

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oracleishdiviner · 3 years

Note

Hiii , for the Oracle reading my question is will I be able to achieve the dream that I have wanted for a long time?? My initials are j.j and I am a libra sun and scorpio rising. Thank you.

Hello dear, thank you for sending an ask and participating in the game!

Before starting my reading, I want to tell you that I've felt a strong sensation in regards to the sea, I was called to think about the sea, the tides, and the ocean too. There is something connected with salt water that is making me pining a lot. I haven't touched my cards yet, so it must be something quite relevant. I'm seeing a gigantic red hibiscus flower on someone's blonde hair, but they have dark, black almost roots.

My pendulum was vibrating and swinging so hard on the Yes! That I was taken aback, it seems that you are going to achieve what you want and it's a sure thing, it's coming, no one can stop this. I was hearing business, over and over, and had a massive amount of a very determined energy, I was on fire with enthusiasm and will to do, to bring forward a project. Do you have major fire placements in your chart? Maybe your Vertex is in Aries? Or Sagittarius? I'm feeling this strong indicator in a fire sign or house!

For your tarot, I'm going to use the Golden Art Nuveau deck. Here's your cards, my dear!

You are on the track to success, let me tell you this. With the Queen of Wands and (5) the Hierophant, this desire of yours is something big. You are like this gorgeous queen, able to bring passion, opportunities and to make things work, with both a keen sense for business and sales and a great amount of intuition. Everybody is gonna love your project or the results of your long-awaited desires. It's assured, like the strong, dogmatic, figure that the Hierophant represents, what you are called to do now is to prepare, lay down to rest old energies, and get wrapped around the new, fresh and quite contagious vibe that the Queen of Wands is indicating here. I'm sensing that you did like a step forward from your dream and then retreated four-step back. It was due to fear, what if you succeed? Will you be able to handle it all? There was a fear for success and I'm being told that is for something very delicate and personal that happened in the past. My guides are shaking their heads, that horrible thing will not be repeating itself, so be at ease and start to work on your self-confidence. Your smile is being more radiant by the day and knows that your changes are being noted even if someone is quite insecure and very aware of their words, they don't wanna hurt you because their feelings for you are very strong (there is a surprise on the way!)

Fort your oracle deck, the Oracle of the Mermaids is what I'm using.

Number 37, Visions (Psychic images, clairvoyance, seeing, out of body travel) and 25, The Selkie & her skin (Reclaiming your authenticity) are your messages.

There is so much blue. Again while I was shuffling, my mind was filled with this color, and it shows in those two cards too (not all the cards in this deck have this strong blue imprint on them)

Do you have vivid or even lucid dreams lately? This is your confirmation then. Something is happening and shifting for you, most of it happens while you sleep and it's best if you start to accept those wondrous dreams, I'm being told, claim them and they will be manifesting for you. Oh, I see, you might be a strong manifestor, this is something that, the fastest you are aware, the best for your journey! I'm feeling quite at loss with the Selkie's card because there is a closed-off energy who is trembling in fear. Why? You are worthy of this, your energy deserves the closure and freedom that you so strongly desire and I'm being guided to tell you that there is a safe community out there, who will help you to regain your boundaries, even with yourself, and see you for the wonderful soul that you are. The selkie's sea is the cold Atlantic Ocean but I'm being asked to say to you: look deeper in this cold ocean and you will be able to see its treasures for sure.

There is something enigmatic presented here that it's only yours to interpret and I'm being blocked to see further too.

Have faith in you dear anon and continue to work towards your goals!

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sepublic · 4 years

Note

A dynamic I’ve been thinking about lately it Amity’s relationship with magic

Bc if I was in her position I would prolly hate doing magic

Her parents are elitist assholes bc of it- said parents control her life over it - not to mention that it separated her from her one true friend growing up: Willow

So what if Amity grew up resentful of magic that she still did everything as perfect as possible due to her parents but hating every second of it

So what if Amity went to the human world for a summer tried to live a life without magic and she realized that yes, she can be so happy without magic that she can experience so many wonderful things but that magic isn’t always bad

After dealing with these feelings Amity realizes that Magic can also be beautiful and make her happy as well

The way I see it, I think Amity IS someone who legitimately enjoys learning about magic, and even the process of teaching others… She’s genuinely interested in magic in-part because of The Good Witch Azura and is inspired by her role model, and Amity clearly enjoys reading books to kids! Not only that, but…

…It’s not exactly canon, but there was this one DisneyTVA post that showed a cardboard cut-out of a sad and lonely-looking Amity! The caption explained that she pitched an educational series to the Disney executives but was rejected!

My read on Amity is that she DOES like to learn, and if allowed to self-actualize, would probably enjoy becoming a teacher actually! But because of the way she’s been taught, Amity has confused/associated learning with school as a system and an institution; That these two are synonymous, that if you like to learn, you ALSO like school and its environment! She sees the two as one and the same, a package that comes together, and I don’t think Amity realizes that you can still enjoy learning, while hating the school environment!

For me, I think the pressure and standards that the Blight Parents have put onto Amity have ‘ruined’ her hobby and interest for her, as now she’s turned Magic and learning from a passion into yet another means of social advancement; Which means Amity can no longer unconditionally enjoy it and constantly has to measure her decisions by which one attains the highest grade for her, VS just having fun and being casual with her mistakes!

I headcanon Amity as someone who initially started off as a Gifted Kid and did very well, enthusiastically enjoying Magic and having a natural talent and passion for it… Hence why the Blight Parents were so insistent on Amity not being ‘dragged down’ by Willow and her late-blooming, in addition to their own classist attitudes of course! But as Amity got older and poured all of her energy into doing well in school, eventually she got burnt out… She began falling behind on her past successes, as top scores came a lot less easily to her, and Amity’s passion for school began to dwindle.

And, it’s another reason why Amity is so frustrated and critical of herself- Because in the past she used to ace school effortlessly and barely had to put in effort, why is it so hard and difficult for her now!? Why is she becoming so anxious over this, it used to be so easy, is there something wrongwith her? And now Amity is afraid of having built up her parents’ expectations, only to have secretly ‘lied’ and thus will let them down… In addition to ‘falling behind’ the development of characters like Willow and Luz!

Of course, Amity would NEVER be against her friends being stronger than her, but she’d definitely internalize this into self-loathing as an example of how she needs to be better! Because she used to be at the top, so why is she falling behind? Was she really never meant for greatness, is this some cruel joke by the universe? And it’d be difficult for her to get back into learning magic, because now it’s just a constant reminder of her own inabilities and alleged failings…

As you suggested, I can see Amity getting away from her parents’ abuse, and initially trying to unlearn it by rejecting the concept of school and learning in general… But as she goes cold-turkey from this, inevitably she’s still gonna be less happy; Happier than she was before, because no more abuse and more love from Luz and the others! But admittedly, Amity won’t feel completely fulfilled, she’ll find herself missing the idea of learning more about magic, and she’ll be confused, because wasn’t school an abusive and unhealthy environment for her???

So in comes Eda. To me, Eda and Amity are both alike in that… I see them as characters who actually have a huge love and passion for learning, but the specific structure of school as an institution, as well as the pressure to succeed by the Coven System, ruined this hobby for them. And I think Eda is well-aware of the distinction between learning and education, VS school as an institution and a system meant to make kids orderly and pressure them to succeed… So I can easily see her explaining to Amity that there IS a divide between the two, that there is a difference!

And just as Eda rediscovered how to love learning about magic on her own terms, by getting away from the oppressive school environment and doing things her own way, amidst her own recent lessons with Luz about Glyphs… I can see her helping Amity rediscover that same passion, either by having lessons with Lilith at the Owl House and/or attending school again, but this time without the pressure to succeed and be the best!

I think it’d be beautiful, seeing Eda, Luz, and Lilith help Amity reclaim her love of learning and education that was taken away from her and ruined by the Blight Parents! Helping Amity get back to learning about things unconditionally, doing it on her own terms and converting it back into HER choice, rather than those of her parents…

Amity can rediscover how to learn about magic simply for the sake of it, and not just to attain some other goal! Luz in particular legit loves magic and is intrigued by it, I could see Luz’s ramblings and passion helping Amity as the two begin to collaborate, as Amity’s negative memories with learning are replaced with the positive ones she has with Luz, Eda, and Lilith…! Luz’s enthusiasm for magic is likely bound to get contagious, and remind Amity of why got interested in the first place, amidst both girls enjoying The Good Witch Azura together and continuing to be inspired by it, and one another!

If I had to guess? I think that in a scenario where Amity was allowed to figure out who she was and what she wanted to do… I think she’d be happy with being a teacher! But specifically, one fixated on her curriculum and lessons prioritizing the enjoyment of students, a teacher who cares about helping kids really get to know Magic and actually appreciate it up-close, with less regard for trying to get high grades!

I think Amity would work on her lessons to encourage students to really think about and engage with what they’re learning, instead of just reading it out of a textbook or something… Less blind memorization and recitals, or filling people’s heads like an empty box; And more inspiring thought and creativity, like tending to a living flame! And I can see Amity working to change the school system to be more geared towards honest education, instead of simply indoctrinating and preparing kids for their roles in the Coven System!

I like your idea a lot, @imamwolf, it makes sense with what this show has to say, and I know I’m literally just regurgitating what you already told me, but still! This show has a lot to say about the relationship between a student, education, and a teacher, and how a teacher fulfills their role!

#the owl house #owl house #the owl house amity #amity blight #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #speculation #ask

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axwalker · 4 years

Text

Tears in Heaven 8: Revelations

Synopsis: Alexis O’Brien is about to get married but memories of her old life are coming back to haunt her.

Pairings: Liam x MC Drake x MC (TRR)

Warnings: NO ONE UNDER 18 should read this story. This is an 18+ blog.

This story will deal with very dark subjects such as death, severe depression and suicide attempt (among others) if you’re triggered by any of those issues, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS STORY

To catch up: Masterlist

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Word count: 6,495

Songs inspiration: Tears in heaven by Eric Clapton

Thank you, @burnsoslow for being the absolute MVP of this chapter. You helped me find my story back. And, of course for correcting my numerous English mistakes ... 😋 @mskaneko for creating the amazing GIF of Drake and Alexis. @pedudley Thank you for beta reading and your great feedback. I LOVE YOU ALL ❤️❤️!!

Liam adjusted his tie and put on his suit jacket. He sat on the bed next to Alexis, who was still sleeping, and ran the back of his hand over her cheek, careful not to wake her up. He had arrived late from Valtoria the night before, so they hadn't had a chance to talk after Bertrand's party. Since Drake's return, Liam was worried about Alexis and their relationship. She seemed different, nervous, on edge. He hadn't seen her that agitated since she had left the clinic three years ago. To make matters worse, Tom's birthday and that damned conciliatory hearing were taking place soon, only days from each other.

What if it was too much for her? What if seeing Drake brought back her old feelings for him? Maybe he should contact Rashad and ask him if the hearing was the only way to get the divorce. Liam couldn't bear the thought of losing her. After 10 years of loving Alexis, he would be damned if he was going to let Drake ruin their wedding and life together. Not now that Alexis finally loved him back.

Alexis stirred on the bed and opened her eyes. Liam smiled at her.

“Good morning, love." He leaned in to give her a soft kiss. "Were you able to work last night at the coffeehouse?"

Alexis knew that Liam wasn't going to be pleased about her afternoon with Drake. Liam was still jealous of him, and her old marriage was a sore subject between them. But she refused to lie.

Alexis brought her knees against her chin and hugged herself. "I didn't work much. I ran into Drake, and we talked for a while."

Liam stiffened. His eyes narrowed as he spoke to her. "What do you mean, 'you ran into him'? Is he following you?"

Alexis rolled her eyes. "Please, Liam. Of course not. It was a coincidence. We just talked."

"About what?" Liam inquired.

"About our jobs, our new lives. Nothing important," she answered, uncomfortable with the questioning.

Liam observed her eyes darting; there was something Alexis wasn't telling him. "That's it?" he insisted.

"Yes, that's it." Drake touching her face hadn't meant anything. Liam didn't need to know about it.

Liam took Alexis's hand. "To be honest, I'm a bit nervous about that court hearing with him next week. I'd prefer it if you never had to see him again, darling."

"It'll be fine, Li. According to Rashad, the hearing is fast. In one week, we'll sign the papers, and then you and I will be able to marry. Don't worry," she reassured him with a smile.

Liam nodded. He took her hand and kissed it. "How are you feeling with… with everything else?" he asked, frowning.

Every year, when her son's birthday arrived, she broke, relieving his last celebration over and over again. Every year, Alexis wondered if she really had been that utterly happy or if her mind was idealizing her old family life. Every year, in the days preceding that date, Liam walked on eggshells trying to avoid the subject. Sometimes Alexis asked herself if it wouldn't be better if he'd force her to talk about her son. But it wasn't in Liam's nature. And she didn't want to burden him even more, so neither of them spoke about it openly.

Alexis tried to comfort him. "I'll be fine, Li. Thank you for everything you do for me. I mean it." She tugged Liam's hand, pulling his body to hers, and kissed him. "What time do you need me to be at the university for the Opening Ceremony?" she asked.

Liam aimed to improve education in Valtoria by creating as many schools and universities as possible. One of Alexis' duties as the future Duchess was to make an appearance on the day of the opening, cut the inaugural ribbon, and smile for the press: a job she hated but did to make Liam happy.

"At 11:00 sharp, darling. And I say this with all the love in the world: Please don't be late. Hana will be there waiting for you. Frantz will take you to Valtoria; he's the best driver there is."

"I can drive to Valtoria myself; I enjoy the road," Alexis said as she stood up and put on her robe.

"I'd feel better if he takes you, love. It's safer. And you'll be on time."

Alexis sighed; she was exasperated but didn't want to start a fight. "As you like. See you tonight at Valtoria for Leo's welcome dinner."

"Are you going to be alright with Milos there?" Liam asked, worried, again.

"Liam, please. I'll be fine." Alexis kissed him before stepping into the shower. "I better start getting ready."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Hana Lee had been working for the Duke of Valtoria for five years. She was Liam Rhys' right hand. He was the person Hana admired the most in the world. Liam was handsome, intelligent, and worldly but extraordinarily kind and generous. He wanted to improve Valtoria in ways that Constantine, the former duke, hadn’t even imagined. Liam's enthusiasm was contagious; he truly loved his duchy, his people.

Hana would've loved to see him engaged to someone who shared his passion. The future duchess didn't seem very happy with her new role. Actually, Alexis never seemed completely happy anywhere. Hana had heard of her tragedy, like everyone else in Valtoria. She pitied her sincerely, but she wished that Alexis was more involved in her future husband's life. The duke was a formidable man. And his future wife didn't seem to appreciate him as much as he deserved.

Emily Black, Hana's assistant, was waiting for her with a coffee and the guest list for the event. They had been working together for three years, and more than her assistant, Emily was a close friend.

"Is she coming?" Emily's contemptuous expression told Hana that she was talking about Alexis.

"Yes, Emi, the future duchess is coming. The duke told me she'd be here at 11:00."

"She's always late. She's so lucky to have this life and share her bed with that delicious man, and she doesn't even realize it," Emily criticized.

Hana scolded her, "Emily! Please show some respect. That is the duke and the future duchess you're talking about, and there are some things you don't know about Alexis."

"Sorry! I just meant that the great and honorable Duke of Valtoria is extremely hot." Emily giggled. "Admit it, Han, you think so, too."

Hana shook her head, laughing. She would never confess it to her assistant, but she found Liam Rhys much more than attractive.

At quarter to eleven, Alexis came into the university in an elegant burgundy suit with nude heels and soft makeup.

"Alexis might hate to be a duchess, but she looks the part. She's gorgeous," Hana told Emily, slightly jealous. Of course Liam was in love with a woman like Alexis; he would never see Hana as anything else than his loyal right hand.

Emily shrugged. "Yeah, she's not ugly, and maybe today she looks fine, but she's not you. You're much more beautiful and poised, Han. You'd be a perfect duchess," Emily claimed, convinced.

Hana blushed. Making a difference in Valtoria was essential to her. But the handsome duke was her forbidden dream, and she would do anything for him. Including helping his fiancée.

"Ms. O'Brien. Good morning," Hanna said respectfully, when Alexis finally reached them. Emily excused herself.

"Please, Hana, as I told you before, you can call me Alexis. We'll have to work together often," Alexis said. She would've liked to have been closer to Hana. After all, they were the same age, and Hana seemed agreeable and smart. She could make a good friend when Alexis would be forced to move to Valtoria after the wedding. But Hana had always put a distance between them, and Alexis wasn't able to get past it.

Her old self would have been able to befriend Hana. Drake used to tease her because she loved to be friends with everyone she met. But Alexis' new personality wasn't happy and charismatic anymore. It was sad and bleak, tainted by tragedy. Alexis shook her head, sick of feeling sorry for herself.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Drake woke up in good spirits, almost hopeful. For the first time in years, he would be able to practice as a veterinarian again. He hadn't realized how much he missed his career. Drake had been up all night going through his textbooks, files, and old cases. He was determined to be the best again. Before getting out of bed, Drake picked up the picture on his nightstand and sighed nostalgically. It had been taken two months before Tom's death, on a camping trip. In the photo, Drake had Tom and Alexis in his lap. He remembered laughing at Alexis' silly attempts to make Tom smile for the picture. Looking at it was painful, but the photo reminded him why he kept living, why he was fighting. Tom was gone, but Alexis was still there, alive. He took a cold shower and put on a blue shirt and a pair of jeans.

Before going downstairs, Drake stood in front of Tom's old room. Sadly, he thought that he would have to empty it. It wasn't healthy to keep it as a sanctuary forever. His heart tugged when he realized that he'd have to speak to Lexie about it. On the other hand, it might be a good thing for her to face reality instead of running from it. In any case, he'd have to talk to Alexis; it was a decision that they had to make together.

------------------------------------------------------------------

After the opening ceremony at the university, Alexis decided to call Olivia and Maxwell. They agreed to meet in a bar downtown for cocktails.

Thirty minutes later, the three friends were sitting in a trendy pub with a dDirty mMartini, a glass of whiskey and a Cosmopolitan.

Olivia took a sip of her martini. She observed Alexis, who was absentmindedly fidgeting her engagement ring. "How are the wedding preparations going?"

Alexis flicked her hair. "Regina is in charge of almost everything. Li and I wanted something small, but the guest list is already up to 200 guests," she said, annoyed.

"In old Connie's defense, a 200-guest wedding is small for him. According to Father, Constantine and Regina got married in front of 500 people," Maxwell said while he stirred his Cosmopolitan.

Olivia arched her eyebrows. "Who cares? The point is that you don't want a big wedding, Alexis. I don't know why you don't say anything. The Lexie I knew would have never taken this shit."

"The Alexis you knew doesn't exist anymore," Alexis retorted.

"Yes, she does. Liam has convinced you that you're weak now and that you can't take care of yourself. But that's not true." Olivia paused to let her words sink in. "Look, I know that he means well. Li is a good man who loves you. And I understand that he's so protective of you, especially after you tried to … well, you know."

Maxwell gasped, interrupting her. It was the first time in three years that they had openly discussed the subject.

"Come on, Max, it's not like she doesn't know this." Olivia turned back to Alexis. "Liam saved your life, and since then, you've been playing these weird roles. You're the defenseless princess, and he's the knight in shining armor. And it suits you both. Liam gets to marry you, and you can finally stop living. You gave him all control of your life."

"What do you mean, stop living?" Alexis asked.

"Last time, Maxwell lectured me for an hour, so I'll try to say this as gentle as I can." Olivia took a deep breath. "You're not living your life anymore, Alexis. You're like a robot. You never talk about Tom. You're in a job you don't enjoy. You're committing yourself to a life that we all know you'll hate. You are with Liam because he makes you feel safe. Because you know he can't hurt you like Walker did. That's why you're with him. Which, excuse me, seems pretty damn selfish to me. You both deserve better."

Max shook his head. "That's gentle, Liv? What the hell!"

Olivia rolled her eyes. “I’m not apologizing for saying that. I just want Alexis to be the strong, independent woman she was before all of this. And for her and Li to be happy.”

“Do you think I enjoy this? Do you think I like feeling like this? I feel like my life ended five years ago. Most days I miss my son so much I can’t get out of bed. I’m aware I’m not the same strong woman that I was before. But believe me, Olivia, I’m trying.” Alexis paused to give herself the courage to say the rest. "You have to respect my relationship. And Liam." Alexis sighed. "Of course, it's not the same passion I felt for Drake when I was 19, but I'm not 19 anymore. My love for Drake almost killed me. The main reason I tried to end everything that day was because of my son, but a big part of me also wanted to die because Drake had left. The heartbreak of knowing that I had lost him forever almost killed me, too. Drake and I are over. That's final," Alexis stated.

"I know you’re trying, darling. And, I'm not saying that you should get back with Drake." Olivia saw that Alexis was going to defend Drake, so she raised her hand. "I get why he left." She squeezed Lexie's hand. "I can't even imagine how he felt when you said those horrible things to him. But I called Drake three months later, I told him how desperate you were, he promised to come back, and then he didn't. So, Drake doesn't deserve you, Alexis. The point is that you shouldn't marry someone you don't love when you're still clearly in love with someone else. Maybe you should be alone for a while," Olivia advised, as she had many times before.

"If you'd been in the cabin that day, you'd understand why he never came back. I broke him, Liv." Alexis' eyes watered. "Of course Drake hated me. I would never forgive myself for what I said to him. Never. But he's part of the past. A past that I'm trying to leave behind. Liam … Liam is my future," Alexis said, trying to convince herself more than her friends.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Alexis had arrived at Valtoria that afternoon. She was reading in the duchy's library when Leo's eldest son entered the room. Milos was an adorable four-year-old. He was dragging a teddy bear and seemed lost.

Alexis closed her book and took him into her arms. He giggled when she lifted him.

"Hi, Milos! Are you lost, babe?" Alexis asked.

Milos nodded shyly. Alexis spun him around the room, and he laughed. "You like this, don't you, little bean?" She gave him a nose kiss. "You're so cute, Milos."

"I love you, auntie!" Milos screamed happily.

Her heart tugged. Milos' laughter was both blissful and painful. Images of her own son giggling and smiling as she played with him washed over her. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she was happy to spend a few minutes with her nephew. The Rhys assumed that playing with Milos was too much for her, so they tried to keep the boy away. Alexis understood. Only one year ago, the mere thought of seeing a boy that age would've broken her. However, now that she was feeling stronger, she liked to spend time with him.

Liam walked in, and his heart sank, seeing Alexis with Milos in her arms. Every time after playing with him, she felt a bit sad and nostalgic. Liam believed that both feelings were a trigger for her. He took the boy out of her arms.

"I'm sure Leo and Amanda are looking for this little devil." Liam grinned at Milos. "I'll take him to them, my love; I'll be back in a few minutes."

Alexis wished that Liam wouldn't worry about her so much. Sometimes, his concern made her feel suffocated. And Olivia was right, she was an adult woman, capable of making her own decisions.

She stood up and took Milos back. “I’m going to be fine, Li. We’re just playing, aren't we Milos?”

The boy nodded happily. “Yes, auntie. I want to draw trees!”

“That is so cool, Milos!” Alexis kissed the top of Milos’ head. “Let’s go look for a piece of paper and some colored pencils.”

“I don’t think that is a good idea, my love,” Liam whispered.

“I do, Li. Trust me. It’s time.” Alexis kissed his fiancé and left the room with Milos in her arms.

Liam watched her leave the library visibly worried. As much as he wanted to, he didn’t think Alexis was strong enough yet.

----------------------------------------------------------------

A week later, Alexis was getting ready for her court hearing. She looked at herself in the mirror and ran her hand over the dark circles around her eyes. She hadn't slept all night thinking about her son's birthday.

Liam was worried; he thought that seeing Drake was only adding to her stress. But Alexis was relieved to be seeing the only person who understood precisely what she was feeling.

Drake put on a grey shirt and a pair of black pants and went downstairs. As he poured coffee into his portable mug, his eyes set on the calendar glued to the wall. In two days, Tom would have turned eight. The memory of his last birthday was still alive in his mind, almost burning. He was grateful to see Lexie today: the only other person in the world who knew what he was going through.

Alexis and Rashad entered the family courthouse and found Drake already there, sitting on one of the benches.

"Hi," Alexis said shyly, as she tucked her hair behind her ear. Suddenly, she felt like a 19-year-old teenager all over again.

"Hi, Lex," Drake replied, smiling. His heart was beating abnormally fast.

"No lawyer?" she asked softly.

Drake shrugged. "I don't need it."

"Me neither!" she answered quickly. "Liam insisted. Rashad is only here in case we need him. Plus, he's a friend. He's Max's future husband; they're getting married in two weeks, at the beach in Portavira. The ceremony will be beautiful," she rambled.

Drake smiled at her reassuringly. Lexie always rambled when she was nervous. He extended his hand to Rashad. "Nice to meet the most patient person in the world," he said, smirking.

"There's been some talks about making the title official." Rashad laughed. "I'm crazy about him, though," he added.

Drake smiled. "I'm happy for you both; Max is one of the best people I know."

A marshal came out to the hallway. "Mr. and Mrs. Walker?" he called.

Alexis' heart leaped. She blushed crimson red, hearing her old last name.

"It's us," Drake answered with a firm voice and placed his hand on the small of Alexis' back to let her pass. The movement was soft and brief, but Alexis felt a jolt going through her body, awakening every nerve. She blushed again, ashamed of her reaction. Drake noticed it and smiled to himself, hopeful.

They entered a conference room. The judge was sitting at one side of a round table with her assistant next to her. Alexis and Drake sat across from them.

"Good afternoon, I'm Judge Gina Connors," she said, smiling.

Drake and Alexis answered back, so the judge proceeded, "First of all, I want you to know that this is a safe space. Nothing you say in here will leave this room." she paused to make sure they understood. "The purpose of this hearing is to figure out whether or not you can save your marriage. I'll ask you some questions, we'll talk, and at the end of the hearing, I'll leave you alone for a few minutes. I'll give you my assessment, but the final choice belongs to you. If you're not ready to make a decision at the end of the hearing, the court will give you one week to think about it. If your decision to get a divorce is final, we'll agree on the terms. If everything goes smoothly, my assistant, Tess," she nodded at a small woman with red hair and big glasses who was typing into a computer, "will send you the divorce papers in one week. Is everything clear?"

They both nodded. The judge looked at them over her glasses. "Let's start. I'll repeat your complete names for the record. Mrs. Alexis Jade Walker and Mr. Drake James Walker. Is that correct?"

Alexis and Drake answered in perfect unison. "Yes, Your Honor." They looked at each other and exchanged a small smile.

Gina Connors was 58 years old and had been a judge for almost two decades. She had seen hundreds of couples come and go out of her office, and she prided herself on having an impeccable instinct. Something about the Walkers told her that they still had a chance to save their marriage.

The judge read the papers that Rashad had sent her. "So you got married 10 years ago, in 2009. Is that correct?"

Drake nodded. He turned to watch his wife, but Alexis was suddenly occupied toying with her ring. Drake sensed her nervousness and almost reached out to hold her hand, but he restrained himself.

"You have a son, Thomas Scott Walker …" Suddenly, Judge Connors stopped talking. The room went silent while she read the boy's death certificate. The judge lifted her head and saw that Alexis was looking down, trying very hard not to cry. Drake had immediately covered Alexis' hand with his and was rubbing it with his thumb soothingly. Feeling instantly calmer, Alexis took a sharp breath and looked at the judge again.

"I'm deeply, deeply sorry. Most couples have trouble adjusting after the loss of a child, but I can give you the number of an excellent therapist who might be able to help you," the judge advised with empathy. Her chest tightened with sadness for the young, broken couple in front of her.

Alexis talked through the lump in her throat. "Thank you, Your Honor, but that won't be necessary." She folded her arms over her chest.

"In the documents that Mr. Domvallier filed, it's stated that you separated in 2015." The judge took her glasses off and leaned against her chair. "What happened exactly?"

Alexis rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath. "It was my fault."

Drake shook his head firmly. "It wasn't your fault, Lexie."

Alexis raised her hand. "Please, Drake, let me speak. I've wanted to say this for a long time, but I didn't know how." Her eyes watered as she turned to look right into his eyes. Drake's heart broke, watching her struggle to speak. "I'm sorry. I was so angry at life and at our fate that I needed an outlet." Her voice broke, so she took another sharp breath. "But please, Drake, you have to believe me; it wasn't your fault. I don't blame you. I really, really don't. I know how much you loved him. Love him. I know you'd never have done anything to hurt him." Alexis started crying, and Drake couldn't take it anymore. He raised his hand and, very softly, brushed his thumb on her cheeks to wipe her tears.

"Shh, it's fine, Lexie. I know. Don't cry, I know." Drake tried to comfort her, but Alexis couldn't stop crying.

Drake took her hand and squeezed it. "Lexie, you have nothing to be sorry about. I know you don't blame me." Her eyes were still fixed to the floor, so he insisted. "Hey, Lex, look at me." Finally, her brown eyes met his. "I know, baby. Please don't blame yourself either."

The judge observed the exchange silently. After a few minutes, she asked, "What happened next?"

Alexis spoke. "I left our home because I didn't know how to deal with the death of our son. Drake tried to do everything he could. It was my fault.”

Drake shook his head. "Please, Lexie, stop protecting me."

The judge interrupted them. "I'll admit that I don't have a lot of couples in here who fight to take responsibility for the divorce." She gave them a benevolent smile. "Let's make this simple. Who left the marital home?"

They both answered at the same time. "I did." The judge smiled again.

Alexis added, "I did first. We fought, and I left. Drake must've thought that I wasn't going to come back, and he left for Spain." She looked sideways at Drake.

Judge Connors looked at Drake. "Is that true?"

"Yes. It is, Your Honor." He turned to Alexis. "I was a fool. I thought you were gone for good."

The judge nodded. She kept going through the documents. "In June 2015, you were committed to a psychiatric clinic," the judge looked at Alexis, "and Mr. Walker couldn't come back."

Alexis looked at Drake, puzzled. "What does she mean you ‘couldn't’?" she asked him.

Drake rubbed his beard. "Olivia called me to tell me how bad you were. I was desperate to see you, but the night before my flight back to Cordonia, I got into a stupid fight. I was sent to prison for almost a year; that's why I couldn't come back earlier."

Shock. Confusion. Surprise. Anger. Sadness. A mix of emotions invaded her. For four years, Alexis had lived convinced that the person she loved the most in the world had abandoned her because he hated her. Not one night had passed without her reliving the night she had lost him, over and over again.

Alexis was unable to talk. After a few minutes, she looked at Drake, wide-eyed. "You couldn't," she murmured. "That's why you didn't come back, because you couldn't." Her eyes teared up again. "Why the fuck you didn't tell someone, Drake? Max or Li? Someone?!"

"No one could help me anyway," Drake answered. "I wanted our friends to be focused on helping you."

Alexis ran her hand through her hair angrily. "Do you know how many nights I cried myself to sleep because I thought you didn't care? How many times I crumbled because I was sure you hated me?" Her eyes were filled with tears; her voice was trembling with rage. "I would have done anything to help you, Drake." Alexis threw her hands in the air. "Anything. You didn't have to go through that alone. And I would've known that you didn't hate me. It would've changed everything."

"I thought you hated me back then too," Drake replied simply.

"Why?" she asked, almost seething.

"Why what?"

"Why did you have to get into a fight the night before coming back? What was so important?"

Drake knew that he needed to be honest. It was going to be hard to talk about his feelings, but if he wanted a real shot with Alexis, it was the only way. "It wasn't about that. It's like you said, I was so fucking angry all the time that I needed an outlet. I hated myself, Lexie. The guilt was too strong; it became so unbearable that the only way to be able to breathe was to drink and fight. The physical pain made the grief easier somehow. When Liv called, I tried to leave that same day, but there weren't any flights available. I shouldn't have gone out that night; I wasn't thinking straight. I only wanted one drink to take the edge off the idea of seeing you again. But one drink became two and then three and then a bottle. And once the fight started, I lost all control of myself. I'm sorry, Lexie."

- It breaks my heart every single time I look at you. You're hurting me. You killed my son -

Her own horrible words came back, rushing at her. "No one knows better than me what it feels like, Drake. I'm sorry, too. It's just that I can't believe you went to prison. That you had no one there to help you." She paused, thinking about all the things they had lost. Alexis turned to the judge apologetically. "I'm sorry for my outburst, Your Honor."

Judge Connors smiled at her playfully. "I'm a family judge. If someone doesn't yell at a hearing, I feel like I'm not doing my job correctly." She turned to Drake. "Continue your story, Mr. Walker," the judge demanded.

"I came back to Cordonia when I was released, but Lexie wasn't ready to see me," Drake explained.

Alexis shook her head in disbelief. "Excuse me? What are you talking about?"

Drake pinched the bridge of his nose, reluctant to tell the truth about Liam. Again, he decided to be honest. "I came back when you were about to leave the psychiatric clinic, but Liam thought that it was better if I didn't see you. I agreed," Drake said, placing his hand on his chest, "so I went back to Spain."

"You came back," Alexis muttered. "You came back for me. Liam knew how much I missed you. Why did he do that?"

Drake's heart leaped in his chest. Alexis had been waiting for him all that time, and he had failed her. He should have known better. "Of course I came back, Lexie. You were the only thing on my mind all that time. I didn't think about anything else. I tried to be the perfect inmate, so they'd let me out sooner and I could come back to see you. You have to believe me that when I was in prison, I didn't know that you had tried to --” Fuck, it was hard to say. “ -- to kill yourself."

Alexis nodded. "I believe you, Drake." She hesitated before asking, but she needed to know. "And Liam knew? All this time, he knew?"

Drake knew that Liam was Lexie's rock. He didn't want her to feel lost, so he decided to leave the suicide letter out of the story. "Liam didn't know I had been in prison, Lexie. And I'm sure that he honestly thought that it was best for you if we didn't see each other. I believed it too," he answered honestly.

"So, both of you decided for me what I wanted, what I needed?" She was beyond angry.

"We were just trying to protect you."

"From you? You were the only one who could've helped me." Her voice broke again.

Drake's heart jumped at her last words. "No, not from me. From strong emotions. You weren't ready."

Alexis didn't reply. She needed to speak with Liam.

"Well," the judge finally intervened, "after what I observed here today, I don't think you should file for a divorce so fast. I'll leave you alone for a few minutes, but my professional opinion is that you shouldn't make any decisions today. As you know, you can make a request to postpone the decision for a week, or, better yet, suspend the process altogether." The judge stood up and left, followed by her secretary.

Alexis stood up and opened the window. She needed fresh air. Drake stood up as well and cut the distance between them.

"Are you okay, Lexie?" Drake asked, worried.

Alexis nodded. "It's just that all these years, I was so sure of everything. I thought you hated me. I thought Liam was perfect."

Drake shook his head. He had to be very careful if he didn't want to scare her off. He took another step and raised his hand, slowly placing it on her face. "I could never hate you, Lexie." She didn't move, so Drake raised his other hand as well, cupping her face. "I love you, Alexis. Like crazy, like a madman. Even more than 10 years ago." He sighed. "I miss you so fucking much, baby. I miss everything about you. Give me another chance. Give us another chance."

Alexis' heart was beating so fast that she was sure that Drake could hear it. He was only a few inches from her. His manly presence was intoxicating her, making it impossible for her to think straight.

And for a minute, she considered it. She thought about leaving everything behind and running away with Drake. But Liam's image popped into her head. Despite his lie, he had done everything for her. He had saved her; he had helped her to come back to life. She took a step back.

"I'm sorry, Drake. It's too late now. I can't do that to Liam."

Drake took a step in her direction. "You're the only reason I still fight, Lexie." He looked at her, at her flushed cheeks, at her nervousness, at the way she was avoiding his eyes. "I know you still love me too, Lexie."

"I don't." Her trembling voice betrayed her. She darted her eyes to the window. Drake took a step towards her.

Drake took her chin with his hand and raised it to him. "Repeat that looking at me."

Her breath hitched; they locked eyes with each other, both knowing that she wouldn't be able to repeat it.

Drake loved that Alexis was still using the same cherry fragrance that she used when they were together. He smiled, thinking of the numerous times he had inhaled her scent while he made love to her. Drake would do anything to kiss her again. To feel her again.

Drake's eyes turned to her lips. He leaned in and whispered, "I'm going to kiss you now, Lexie. If you want to stop me, just say the word and I will."

Heat rose from Alexis' stomach to her chest. Drake's lips were getting closer, and her heart skipped a beat; the smell of sandalwood was mesmerizing. His large hands were tenderly rubbing her face, but she felt them everywhere. Alexis parted her lips and felt Drake all over her, filling all her senses as the taste of him nearly silenced all her guilt.

Drake's heart pounded in his chest as every breath he took smelled like cherry. He pulled her in, claiming her mouth again, hungry and intense, until her knees gave in. She tasted precisely as he remembered. Her lips felt so soft on his. As his tongue explored her mouth, he decided that he was never going to let her go. Alexis was his, and he was hers. It couldn't be any other way. Alexis got lost in the kiss for a few minutes until Liam's face came back to haunt her.

She gently pushed Drake away. "I'm sorry, Drake. I can't. It's too late now. Liam-"

"I know. You can't do this to him," Drake said, disappointed.

"No, I can't! Liam not only saved my life, but he fought day and night to make me happy again. Liam lied, yes, but he doesn't deserve this. I'm not going to leave him, Drake. I'm sorry." Alexis felt her heart breaking, but she added, "It's too fucking late for us."

"Just one week."

"What?" she asked, puzzled.

"Just give me one week. You can't possibly make a decision right now. Not after everything you just heard. And you can't lie to me, Lexie. I know you're not happy." Drake looked at her. "I'm just asking you to take one week and really think about this. If, in the end, you're still sure that you love Liam and want to divorce me, I swear, I'll sign the papers."

Alexis tucked her hair behind her ears. She couldn't resist Drake’s pleading eyes. "Alright, one week, so we get used to the idea. But that's it."

Drake shook his head no. "You have to promise me that you'll think about everything that happened here today; please, Lex."

"Ok, I promise," she assured him.

Judge Connors and her secretary reentered the room and sat in their chairs.

"Did you reach a decision?" the judge asked.

"We'd like to take one week to think about it," Drake replied. He couldn't help the hopeful tone in his voice.

Judge Connors smiled. Her intuition never failed. "You have one week to reconsider. At the end of that week, if you still want to, you have to come back here to sign the agreement for the divorce," she paused and added, smiling, "but if I'm honest with you, I prefer if I didn’t see you ever again."

She stood up and shook their hands.

They both went out of the building in silence. Rashad was waiting for Alexis.

"Was everything all right?" he asked.

"Yes, Rash, thank you. I'm sorry that you had to come here for nothing."

"Well, I have to verify the divorce agreement. Is it ready?"

“No, it’s not. We asked for one more week,” Alexis replied without further explanation.

Rashad arched his eyebrows. He hadn't known them as a couple, but even after a few minutes with them, their chemistry was palpable. He worried about Liam, though; the duke wasn't going to be exactly happy about the news. "All right, let me know what you decide."

"Rashad, please, don't say anything to Liam yet. I'll tell him in person, but he's in Valtoria today," Alexis pleaded.

"Don't worry, Alexis, I won't. It was nice to meet you, Drake."

"Same, man; give my best to Max," Drake replied.

"I will! Bye, darling." Rashad kissed Alexis on both cheeks and left.

Drake looked at her, unsure of what to say. They were both exhausted. Alexis probably needed time to process everything that she had heard that day. Drake walked her to her car.

"Are you okay, Lexie?"

She nodded slowly. "I am."

"I know you're strong, but this was a lot to take in."

Alexis bit her lip: her universal sign when she hesitated to say something.

"What's going on, Lex? You can tell me anything."

"His things." Alexis turned to Drake as she played with her ring again. "What are you doing with them?"

"I was actually thinking about emptying his room. What do you think about that?" Drake asked carefully.

She nodded with tears in her eyes. "I understand. I don't know how you do it, to live in the cabin with his room still intact." She surprised herself by asking, "Can I be there?"

Drake gave her a sad smile. "Of course. When do you want to do it?"

"I don't know." She hugged herself, feeling suddenly cold.

Drake had to actively stop himself from hugging her as tight as he could. "I thought that we could do this on his birthday. We hate that day anyway. Maybe it'll be less horrible if we're together."

Alexis nodded slowly. "Maybe." She thought about it for a few seconds. "I agree. Let's do it next Wednesday. We'll see each other only for that." She looked at Drake knowingly and he nodded.

She looked for her car keys until she found them at the bottom of her bag. They stared at each other; Drake leaned in to kiss her on the cheek as he brushed her face with his fingers longingly.

"See you Wednesday, Lexie."

She smiled, flustered. "See you Wednesday, Drake."

Alexis got into her car and drove away.

Drake was right; she had a lot of things to consider and think about. But at that moment, she was more furious than anything else. Alexis couldn't understand why Liam had lied to her all those years. She decided to go to Valtoria immediately. Her conversation with Liam couldn't wait another day.

PERMATAG (Drake x Alexis): @ac27dj @twinkle-320 @kimmiedoo5 @marshmallowsandfire @loveellamae @burnsoslow @mskaneko @pedudley @lauzales @debramcg1106 @ravenpuff02 @pug-bitch @princessleac1

TIH: @ao719 @yukinagato2012 @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @cordonia-gothqueen @bebepac @nomadics-stuff @cordonianroyalty @hopefulmoonobject @msjr0119 @forthebrokenheartedthings @bascmve01 @marshmallowaremyfavorite

#axwalker writes #tw grieving #tw child death #tw depression

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