GEORG!!!

CONGRATIONS!

SPIDERS!

Most sports books are like “I need to win championships so I can prove myself!!!” and then there’s The Foxhole Court where the main character is like “yeah so if I don’t win championships I will literally be executed because when I was 10 my serial killer father tried to sell me to a cult so my assassin mother stole $5 million from the yakuza and ran away with me, but it turned out that my dad was friends with the leader of the mafia, so now we also had a bunch of hit men after us, and almost a decade later my dad caught up with us and killed my mom and I faked my death, so I decided to join a college sports team to start my new life, but then I found out one of my teammates is a runaway from the cult my dad tried to sell me to, and not only that but the cult’s leader is the brother of the head of the Japanese mafia, so now both of them are after me too, and also the FBI keeps trying to convince me to testify against my father, but if I do I’ll have to go into witness protection because my dad’s friends will try to kill me and I can’t be a professional athlete while under witness protection, but luckily my uncle (who is the leader of the British mob) brokered a deal that will assure my safety if I win championships as long as I hand over 80% of my salary to the mafia for the rest of my life.” And that’s only the main character, I haven’t even mentioned how insane some of the side characters’ backstories are!

Basically this is the most unhinged book I have ever read and I love it so much

most people: i can fix him

neil josten: i can and will fix his brother his best friend and his fucked-up college sports team but he's perfect actually <3

This is the post that made me go from “hmmm this series sounds interesting” to binging the first three books in two days. I still haven’t even read the book this post is about but I’m so obsessed anyway.

Go read All For The Game, you won’t regret it.

The juxtaposition of Jean living in a psychological thriller mafia novel and Jeremy being the protagonist of a slice of life book will never not be absolutely hilarious to me

Neil: These monsters die so easily in the end...

Jean: *crying, screaming, throwing up*

*meanwhile in California*

Jeremy: felt cute, might help this homeless man💫💫💞🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️

Its me, your feral godmother

you should be able to say "line" if you don't know what to say in a social situation

movie vs book (i adore them both) 

Thank you Miles Edgeworth, you are correct as always.

Hey you know what's super funny about the idea of "good bi rep"?

For a character to be canonically bi you have to make sure and establish that they're attracted to multiple genders. Not all mediums allow you to get inside every character's head or show what they're thinking. Flirting can be read ambiguously, and god forbid they flirt with a character who's not into them and be read as pushy or predatory. So it can be super handy to just mention an ex or two! But you better not mention too many exes because that would make them a slutty bisexual which is (checks notes) bad, and you definitely better be careful about making them poly, because that might make them, uh... greedy. Oh, and those exes? They better be perfectly amiable breakups with no conflict or drama, because it's bad to represent queer people in toxic or abusive relationships (especially queer women! very bad), and you definitely can't have them have lost a partner if the partner was queer because that's "bury your gays..." You should probably also eliminate all trauma from their backstory, just to be safe. You should probably also make sure they're not involved in crime, deception, or anything of the sort, because that would make them "deviant" and a stereotype.

But don't worry! Once you've carefully crafted your nice, monogamous, experienced-but-not-too-experienced Lawful Good bi character, you will be rewarded with your audience deeming them "boring" and quickly passing them over for other characters. :)

hrghh another long and difficult day... TUMBLR!! fetch me a photo of The Fictional Character .....

REblog if you are Asexual, support Asexuals, or spend most of your time actually thinking about Superheroes.

I love the Midwestern one has the addendum of the 50/50 chance because the Midwestern Goodbye is so powerful it overwrites the “I’m gonna let you go” with the usual script

As someone raised in the South, I can confirm that this works every time.

And, most importantly...

these two months of 2024 have been five years respectively

Somebody rescue Tim. He's seen too much.

Meme reference under cut:

its official: tumblr is selling our data to Midjourney

we'd been hearing rumors about this for a bit but now its open and out there. some details from this article

it goes without saying, but if @staff goes through with this its going to be an utter shitshow and im all but certain the website will not survive it.