#yeah. cant think of anything more fitting. a letter to yourself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

damn-stark · 2 years

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Ch.18 Comin’ home baby

Chapter 18 of Strange

A/N- I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS GOING TO BE THE LAST CHAPTER FOR A WHILE!!! I do plan on adding other scenes that didn’t make it in the chapters! Thank you to everyone for all the love!! ILY

Warning- ANGST!!!!, swearing, FLUFF!!!, talks of death and Injury, LONG CHAPTER.

Pairing- Steve Harrington x Hopper!fem-reader

Episode- 4x09

(Let me know if you wanna be tagged)

————

To, Y/N,

This letter might be a little strange, mostly because you’re not expecting it. But I needed to write one for you too because there’s things you need to know, and it’s hard for me to really say what I feel when it comes to expressing myself in an emotional way. So, you get this.

Now, I know we aren’t best friends or anything, but I appreciate you, y/n. Truth is you and Eleven are like the sisters I never had—

A shaky breath leaves past your lips and tears sting your eyes. You swallow thickly to try and get rid of the lump formed in your throat, and avert your eyes from Max’s letter to avoid crying and staining the paper with your tears.

“Hey,” Steve interjects from his seat. “I thought you weren’t allowed to read that.”

You sigh deeply and look back at the letter to respond to Steve. “Well, it seems fit—”

“But she’s not gone,” he interrupts you.

Max’s survival still baffles you; sure it’s been only a few minutes since you left her in an ambulance with Lucas and Erica so Steve and you could find the others in Jason’s car, but the how behind her survival is all you can think about it—You are glad she’s alive; she might’ve not woken up after her heart began to beat again, but you’re happy that she came back to life.

“No,” you mutter. “But I couldn’t wait, okay? I had it with me so I had to read it. Besides, reading it distracts me from my worry. The anxiety is making me nauseous.”

Steve sighs and nods. “I get what you mean, but I’m sure Eddie and Dustin are okay. I mean…they got to be.”

You lose yourself in a blank space in the letter to think of Dustin and Eddie. More so, that vision that Vecna showed you—it didn’t look good at all, sure there’s a possibility it might not be real, but you found Steve and the other two in the same way Vecna showed you in that vision, so there's some truth behind Eddie’s vision, and that scares you.

No matter if your friendship only just started, this adventure connected you. It connected all of you. Knowing that any of the people you’re fighting alongside with are in danger, or on the brink of death is just as upsetting.

“Are you sure you’re okay driving?” You ask Steve so you can distract yourself away from the letter and your current concern. “I can drive the rest of the way there.” You look over at him and he shakes his head and briefly meets your gaze since he has to keep his eyes on the road.

“Nah, we’re close, besides you must be tired, I’m okay. You can finish the letter.”

You sigh and drop your eyes back on the letter. “It’s actually very hard reading it, since she’s there unconscious and I’m here.”

“In a car?” Steve tries to be lighthearted.

You sigh and find no amusement behind his comment. “Conscious.” You deadpan.

Steve’s eyes flicker over to you and when he sees how sad you truly are, he sighs and reaches to grab your hand. “Come here,” he mumbles. And without needing an explanation you drag yourself as close as you could be to him so you can let him wrap his arm around your shoulders, and you could rest your head on his shoulder.

“She’s going to wake up okay? Her mind was probably just exhausted.” He presses a kiss on the top of your head and focuses back on the road to continue comforting you. “I’m sure by tomorrow morning she’s going to be awake and mean mugging us.”

You scoff in amusement and even if you were full of doubt, you nod since he could be right. You want him to be right anyway. “Yeah, you’re right.” You say and look over at him to smile. “Do you think I can spend the night at your place today? Or should I get my things and have a girls night with my girl?”

Steve's eyes narrow and he immediately turns that down. “No, you can stay with me. You’re staying with me. I don’t have a lot of time with you anymore, I’m not letting you go any time soon.”

You smile and snuggle your head on his shoulder and yawn. “I am pretty tired.”

“We’ll go home soon, okay?” He says “I mean…if my house is still standing that is….” He pauses and his hand stiffens. “You think my parents are okay?”

You look up at him and want to assure him that they are, but you didn’t know that answer to that. The earthquake that happened as the gate opened most likely left the town in chaos. You haven’t seen most of anything since the Creel house is close to the mobile home park and surrounded by woods, but all that you have seen while on your way to the Creel house is ambulances and police cars. It’s not hard to gather why they’re so panicked and busy all of a sudden.

“I hope so,” you try to assure him the best way you can. “I don’t think the gate cut through where you live.”

Steve exhales deeply and nods. “I hope so.” He swallows thickly and leaves the car silent for a little while before he finds himself breaking that short silence. “Are you going to finish reading that letter? I mean you already started it so you might as well finish the thing.”

You scoff and lift the letter in front of you again. “I won’t read it out loud,” you add. “It’s a personal letter.”

“Then I won’t show you mine.”

You shift your head and narrow your eyes on him. “What?” You scoff. “Come on,” you whine.

“Read me yours and I’ll read you mine.” He puts out with smugness. “I know you’re curious.”

You clench your jaw and huff out before you drop your head back on his shoulder and begin reading the rest of the letter out loud.

“…It felt nice having a big sister. A older sibling in general who actually taught me things, who had patience and did stupid bonding stuff with me, instead of yelling at me and avoiding me. So thanks.

And if you have to know, sometimes I did wish Billy and you would somehow get back together. I know he was an asshole, but it would’ve been an excuse to actually see you. To have someone decent around and not have some ditz hanging around him. At least then he would’ve been tolerable.

But I’m glad you didn’t end up lasting long. You deserved a lot better, so maybe Steve and you aren’t that gross together. But that doesn’t mean that we aren’t disgusted by you guys being all lovey dovey all the time.

And if Steve ever does hurt you just punch him in the face, I’m sure you can beat him in a fight too.”

You scoff in amusement and can’t help but let your tears run down your cheeks while your smile widens.

“With that said. Thank you for checking up on me after you left, y/n. I might’ve not sounded like I appreciated it, but I did, so thank you.

By the way, I think you’re cool. Your taste in music isn’t bad. Your skating could use help, but you’re cool. If I somehow end up living, maybe you can teach me how to ride a motorcycle!

From, Max.”

You lower the letter and pull away from Steve to wipe the tears off your face.

Max is alive, but reading her letter and knowing how she was , made that guilt grow tenfold. Now, there was a small part of you that wishes that you would’ve stayed behind to be the bait instead of Max.

“I should’ve waited,” you mutter to try and be lighthearted.

“Told ya so,” Steve quips.

You exhale deeply and fold the letter to put it back in one of the pockets in your vest, to then look out the front window and watch the road and the passing cars in a comfortable yet tense anxious silence. When you drift your eyes up the window you notice that the stars were covered by clouds of smoke that made the night here even darker. You try not to, but when you look out at the woods you were driving by, you can’t help but feel that chill again. That same cold chill you felt in The Upside Down that made you think something bad lurked in every corner.

The gates were closed now and this wasn’t the Upside Down, but that fear still clung onto you and made you tense, and has you traumatized. So much so that when Steve suddenly hit the brakes you let out a yelp and dug your nails in his hand while you clung your other hand into the armrest beside you.

“Ow,” he murmurs, but doesn’t focus long on what you did since he quickly parks on the side of the road to point back. “The RV, that was the RV!”

You let go of Steve’s arm and look back to see just that making a U-turn to park behind you.

As soon as it stops, you unbuckle yourself and throw the door open to climb out of the car and race towards the RV. Steve quickly gets ahead of you, and only picks up his pace more when he sees Dustin climb out of the RV.

“Henderson!” Steve exclaims.

Yet, Dustin doesn’t return the same energy, he offers Steve a smile, but it’s faint; he doesn’t even meet Steve halfway like you thought he would, he leaves Steve hanging. He actually looked upset, but you can’t tell why he was so gloomy right away. You know that even if he was tired he would’ve reacted the same way as soon as he saw Steve, but not this time.

And when you got closer to him, when you noticed how red and puffy his eyes were, and when failed to see his partner following him, you began to piece together why he looked so glum.

You hoped that you were just panicking, that the guilt and your fear were just getting the best of you—he was probably still inside, he wouldn’t run out to greet Steve and you. But when you reached Dustin, when he looked at Steve and you with tears gleaming his eyes, and a trembling frown, that hope, that delusion quickly began to crack.

It wasn’t until Robin walked out to the last step of the RV with a familiar look in her eyes, that all that hope you tried to hold onto completely broke away. After all, you knew that look, that heartbroken, pained, guilty, and knowing look. It was the same look Joyce gave you after Hopper didn’t walk out of the mall with her, the look that spoke the truth words couldn’t. Perhaps this time, you didn’t feel that same pain as that day, but it wasn’t easy this time around either.

Eddie was a friend. New, perhaps, mysterious due to the fact that you barely got to know him, but he was still a friend due to the circumstances you faced together. Knowing that he didn’t make it was a punch to the gut. Now the guilt you held intensified and punctured your heart, making that heartache much more insufferable.

“Eddie,” Dustin’s voice quivers even though you saw how he was trying to remain strong. “He tried to help me. H-he didn’t run and…got swarmed by bats…” he pauses and swallows thickly. “He…he didn’t…make it.”

Steve and you look at each other as you process the news you piece together, and because you saw how much Eddie meant to Dustin, is why it made it hard to come up with something comforting to say. Truthfully there was nothing you could really say that would make his pain hurt less. All you could offer him was an embrace in hopes that the gesture was enough to let him know you were both here for him.

Which, matter of fact, right as Steve and you secured Dustin in your arms, that strength he tried so hard to project crumbled and he broke down into a sob as he held onto Steve and you. It made you hug onto him tighter while you pressed your cheek against his head as a form of comfort. You didn’t want to but you had to cry with him.

After a while passed, you were the first one to let go while Steve stayed with him for a longer time. He only let go when Dustin was ready and grew too tired of standing on his feet.

When Dustin did break away is when he shared that he had hurt his leg, and that they couldn’t pull Eddie’s body out from the Upside Down so he had to leave him behind. Besides that, Dustin didn’t share much of anything else anymore, either from exhaustion or just grief and sadness, but he stayed quiet. Everyone did.

After that there was nothing else to do but go home.

The further you drove into the town though, the more destruction you saw; some houses were split in half, some were broken in different ways, streets were cracked, some telephone lines were down, the electricity flickered and the ambulance, police and firefighters all swarmed around every street. Their cars' cries sang for hours on end, the clamoring from people even traveled inside Steve’s house when you got home.

Besides what you were dealing with already, all the chaos that was happening outside made it hard to fall asleep, and only came when your body and mind couldn’t stand being awake a moment longer and knocked you out instead.

Or so you thought.

“I forgive you, you know that dad,” you swallow thickly and muster a wobbly smile. “I was scared I’d never see either of you again today, I can’t go on not telling you. I’m sorry for being so mean, I’m sorry for being such a bad daughter.” You cry and he quickly hugs you tightly.

“Don’t cry,” he says softly by your ear and tightens his embrace. “It’s okay.” He rubs your back and moves one of his arms behind your neck and keeps tightening his hold until it gets hard to breathe.

“Dad,” you groan and pat his back. “Daddy, I can’t…I can’t breathe.”

“I left you because I never truly loved you,” he begins to reveal bluntly. “It was a lot easier without you here. Eleven and I were happier.”

You begin to squirm around in his hold and begin to hit his back while you try to catch at least a small amount of air.

“You are the curse that broke my family apart. Your mother and I were doing fine until you came along. You ruined everything.”

He never said this. This isn’t true. He’d never say any of it. This is…this is fake, it’s all fake. Just a bad dream.

“First Sara, your mother, and me…”

No. No.

“Now Max and Eddie.”

With the strength you can muster you knee his groin and manage to make him loosen his hold enough to be able to push him away. But the moment you’re away from him and gasping for air, you glance up and instantly feel your breath hitch as you see that half of his body is burnt and the other half is covered in bruises and blood; he looks exactly the same he did in that vision Vecna showed you of his dead body.

“You did this to me!” He shouts. Only it’s not his voice, but Vecna’s. “You! You’re pathetic. You’re just a stupid accident that was never meant to be born! Your mother should’ve never had you.”

He begins to storm over to you and you quickly begin to back away. Yet, before you can get far, a slimy vine wraps around your throat. You try to scream, but it tightens its hold and cuts off the breath you were going to take and yanks you back to the ground.

Except, instead of hitting the gravel, the parking lot scenery suddenly disappears and you’re transported into a dark abyss the moment you hit the ground.

The vine around your throat then proceeds to unravel and slithers away, letting you push yourself to your feet and search for any sign of your father who is now suddenly gone.

“It’s just a nightmare. It’s just a nightmare,” you mutter to yourself and hold your head whilst you shut your eyes. “It’s just a nightmare. Wake up, wake up.”

“Y/N?”

Eleven?

No. It’s just a nightmare, she’s not here.

“Y/N? Please, I need help.”

No.

You begin hitting your head and keep your eyes shut.

“Help me! Y/N!” Eleven keeps crying out. “Help me!”

You shake your head and keep telling yourself to wake up.

“OPEN YOUR EYES!” Vecna bellows.

And from one second to the next your eyes are forced open and you’re forced to see Eleven in front of you with a vine around her throat.

“This isn’t real,” you keep insisting.

“Isn’t it?” Vecna rebuttals. “How do you know what’s real and what’s not? For all you know, all that you have lived through since I pulled you away from the Creel House, has been fake.”

You shake your head in denial and try not to cry and give into what he wants. You can’t fear him anymore.

“You really thought you could escape me?”

“No,” you sneer. “This is all fake!”

“Is it!” He counters loudly and then pulls Eleven away from you to tie her to a pillar. “Aren’t you going to save her? Are you going to let Eleven die?”

Eleven reaches out for you as she groans and squirms. And even if this was a nightmare, you instinctively begin to run towards her while your surroundings begin to turn red and the debris of the Creel house begins to appear around you; as if you were back in Vecna’s mind lair.

“Just hold on!” You yell out to Eleven. “I’m coming!”

Albeit, just before you can reach her, the sound of Steve’s voice stops you.

“Y/N? What’s going on?”

You blink, and hold your breath whilst you slowly turn around, noticing that your surroundings begin to change once again. Only this time you’re brought back to Steve’s room, this time he’s in the same pajama pants he wore before you went to bed. This time you’re in bed.

“Are you okay?”

It takes you a second to warm up to him, but he’s such a relief to see that you quickly throw yourself on him and cry into his shoulder. “It was just a nightmare,” you whisper.

Steve hums and holds you tight.

A few minutes pass before you’re good enough to pull away from him. “I’m okay,” you whisper.

Steve offers you a tired smile and pulls back to lay back down. But as he’s trying, a vine suddenly wraps around his throat and begins to choke him before he gets yanked away from you.

“Steve!” You cry out and reach out for him as he reaches out for you.

Once again your surroundings change and you’re returned to Vecna’s lair. This time though, you see both Eleven and Steve tied to pillars by the same vines that captured you.

“Choose one to save,” Vecna suddenly whispers by your ear, causing you to tense up and feel goosebumps as his breath unfurls by your ear. “You can only choose one. Your sister or the man you love.”

You shake your head and take a step back. “No,” you mumble under your breath. “This..this is all fake.” You turn around to face Vecna, but the moment you do, he’s not there, there’s nothing in front of you but darkness and the same fog that had filled the upside down.

The emptiness leaves you breathing in heavily and causes you to turn back around. However, just as you catch a glimpse of Eleven and Steve, your feet are suddenly restrained by vines that quickly pull you to the ground and drag you back, ripping you away from your sister and boyfriend, and making you scream.

When the vines let you go, the only thing you see is more darkness and fog. You suspect Vecna to show up, but there's nothing. Absolutely nothing but yourself and darkness, so you push yourself to your feet.

Nevertheless, that turns out to be a mistake since the moment you’re standing on your feet, large shards of glass begin to fall around you to cage you in and just reflect you.

For a while you waited for Vecna to show up and stare straight at you, but he doesn’t come nor does his voice break the silence, all you actually see are reflections of yourself. It leaves you confused and more terrified. Every step and movement you make, your reflection mirrors. Nothing sinister hid behind the reflections.

Their lips however, that’s the only thing that moved even if you yourself didn’t open your mouth.

“It’s your fault. It’s your fault,” they begin to taunt quietly at first, but gradually begin to get louder and louder until they’re screaming at you. “It’s your fault! Your fault! Your fault!”

You step back and shake your head to deny them, but they keep throwing accusations until suddenly they break into a sprint and charge at you. You want to run away, but you stay trapped within the mirror cage and instead end up falling to your knees to hold your head and crumble towards the ground.

Their screams get louder so you begin to cry out of fear and panic. “Stop! Stop! STOP!”

You squeeze your eyes shut and the moment you do, you feel arms wrap around you and pull you back while you even begin to hear your name being uttered.

“Y/N. Y/N—”

“Let me go,” you plead. “Let me go! Let me go!” You try to squirm, but their hold tightens and their voice sounds quieter and a lot more soother, instead of loud and rough.

“Y/N, it’s me. It’s me. It’s Steve. Open your eyes. You’re okay. It’s just a nightmare.”

You shut your mouth, but don’t open your eyes or let your body go from that tense hold.

“Y/N, baby you’re okay,” he keeps comforting you as he keeps his arms around you. “He’s gone. He can’t get you anymore.”

Your breaths are labored and your cheeks are dry even if tears threaten to fall.

“You’re home.”

Very slowly and cautiously you pull your eyes open and see Steve’s room lit by a light beside his side of the bed. It takes you a moment to really come to terms that what you’re seeing and living through is actually real. You actually wait to be pulled away or for everything to change around you again.

“I’m real,” he whispers. “I’m right here. I got you. This is all real. I’m here, I got you.” He presses a kiss on the side of your head and holds you closer.

“Steve,” you croak out and lift your hands to grab his arms secured around your neck.

“I know,” he interjects softly. “I know, baby. I’m here. I’m here.”

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

“…and at the last moment the oldest sister jumped, hopped and ran in front of the evil wizard's spell to save her youngest sister from the cruel fate. And in doing so, due to the sister's bravery, the wizard’s hand froze, his entire body than began to slowly freeze too until all that moved was the beating of his heart. Thump. Thump. And then, nothing.”

You sigh and turn the page of the book.

“The Wizard had suddenly succumbed to a fate of death. His reign came to an end and brought the land safety and joy once more. The dark cloud that loomed over the kingdom began to fade and brought the beaming and warm sun. But what’s meant to be a moment to rejoice and celebrate was far from it due to the fact that the sister's heart had also stopped the moment the spell hit her.”

Once again you stop to turn the page and continue reading to Max.

“But how, the other sister cried, how could she have died. Why did she save me? Why can’t I go too? She cried and her heart broke. Maybe, the prince proposed. Maybe there is one thing. A true love's kiss. For our love was grande. He didn’t fret to fall beside her body and didn’t hesitate to press a single kiss on her lips. Yet, her heart didn’t beat again, her breathing didn’t start and her eyes didn’t open to reveal their life and light. Such a cruel outcome made the sister pick her sister's body up in her arms to press her against her and cradle her sister once more.”

You flip the page and draw in a deep breath to slowly exhale as you continue to read the last page.

“She wept and cried for her sister. The tears she released, ran a trail down her cheek, they slipped down her jaw and hit the sister's cheek. And due to such unintentional actions, life restarted the sisters heart and breath once again began to circulate in her lungs, making her gasp, and alarming the sister of her presence. Sister, the waking sister spoke with a smile. For it wasn’t the prince's love that they needed, but the pure and deep love of sisters that was the salvation. The end.”

You close the book and smile at your hands as you begin to speak to Max. “It was corny, I know, but it was Sara’s favorite book.” You huff and slowly drift your eyes up to see that Max lay in her exact same position, she gave no reaction, her eyes remained closed. She almost looked dead.

If it wasn’t for the machine next to her telling you the opposite, you’d think she was dead.

Morning passed and she hasn’t waken up, the doctors mended her broken arms and her broken leg. They gave a solution for that, but they gave no solution for when she’d wake up again. They did say she was healthy, but…her brain was just…considered to be dead. They say it’s because her heart stopped beating for too long, but it isn’t true.

Of course you knew the truth, you all did, but they couldn’t know and there’s no way to explain that this monster from this other dimension cursed her and left her, so you had to leave it at that and hope she’d wake up soon.

“Maybe tomorrow I’ll start reading you Little Women,” you continue to say with a faint smile. “Or I’ll just bore you with my life story. It’s very exciting. Or maybe I’ll teach you Russian. That way we can talk shit and no one will know what we’re talking about,” you scoff and let your eyes linger on her as ou expect her to react or say something snarky back, but nothing happens, that makes your smile fall and makes you drop your eyes to let out a deep and shaky breath.

“I’ll put on some music now,” you mutter and push yourself off the seat beside her bed to walk over and turn on the boombox to start the song that had been playing previously.

“Maybe next time we can read something more entertaining,” Dustin remarks as you sit between Steve and Robin.

“Like?” You ask.

“Lord of the rings,” he suggests.

Steve scoffs. “You really think Max would want to hear that? What a snooze fest.”

“Like children books are any better,” Dustin rebuttals, making you scoff and snap back.

“It was just this one book!” You shoot him a glare and continue. “Why don’t you try reading something next time then!”

“I will.”

You roll your eyes and cross your arms over your chest before you rest your head back on the hard couch and slowly let your head fall on Robin’s shoulder.

“Who will save me from this masculinity if not you,” she says and rests her head on yours. “I really wish you didn’t have to go so soon.”

You sigh. “You and I both. But I have to go home. I have to graduate or my mothers ghost will come and haunt me.” You then begin to smile. “But hey, you have Nancy now.” You snicker. “I’m sure she’ll keep you company.”

Robin scoffs and pushes you away, only making you laugh until the door opens and Lucas walks in with Erica.

“Sorry,” he breaks the sudden silence. “It’s hard to get here with all the chaos happening around town.”

“Don’t worry,” Dustin assures him. “We don’t mind keeping her company. Besides, y/n was reading her a very fun book,” he adds with sarcasm.

You shoot Dustin a glare and just roll your eyes and keep quiet.

“Well,” Lucas sighs and sits beside Max. “You guys can go now. Thank you.”

“It’s okay,” Steve interjects. “We’ll stay a bit longer. We have nothing to do anyway.”

“Besides,” Dustin adds. “We should discuss…” he pauses and lets out a deep breath. “When we’ll have Eddie’s funeral. His body might not be with us, but I still want to have one for him.”

You grow uneasy and feel your jaw clench as the atmosphere only feels heavier.

“As we all know y/n’s leaving soon, so maybe tomorrow?” He asks and looks at Steve and you. “Unless you guys have something to do?”

You swallow thickly and let your hands fall to your lap as you give him an answer. “Well, considering the town is currently in shambles, there isn’t much to do, so no, we don’t have plans anymore.”

“Yeah,” Steve scoffs. “We’re free tomorrow. Robin?”

“Yeah,” she answers right away. “No, I’m free, I mean we don’t have any shifts at work so yes, I’m free.”

“Okay,” Dustin nods. “Good. I talked to Nancy already, she’s onboard. Tomorrow evening it is.”

You let your eyes fall to your lap and let a deep sigh escape out of your nose.

So much for a good spring break.

*LATER*

The only good thing about this spring break was confessing to Steve. It might’ve been under shitty circumstances, but that’s the only thing that came out of this spring break. The rest…well the rest has been full of pain, more grief and guilt beyond what you can handle.

Eddie…

And Max…

Eddie might’ve died from the blood loss due to the fucking bats, and Max went to a coma because of Vecna, but there’s something in you, some cruel and pestering voice that keeps telling you that you’re somehow responsible for their outcomes.

You’re the curse…

“If…” whisper to yourself as you pull your knees to your chest and lift your arms out of the bath water to gather soap bubbles in your palms. “I was faster…” You trail off and sigh as you pull your hands apart to let the bubbles go. “I’m sorry.”

You slouch and press your forehead against your knees. You don’t cry, or turn on the music that sat beside you, you don’t don’t say anything else, you just sit in the silence that covers the bathroom. It’s lonely; Steve said he was going to prepare some sandwiches since there wasn’t anywhere you could go out to, besides you wanted time to yourself…you didn’t like it, but it gave you a minute to just wallow.

It was dangerous really. Your mind just spun and spun crazy different things, but it’s only when you’re alone when you can think of how it all felt like you were the one to blame, like maybe it should’ve been you instead of Max and Eddie.

Maybe.

“Y/N?” Steve’s voice breaks that silence before he knocks on the door.

You sigh and lift your head to wipe your face and muster a smile before you answer. “Come in.”

The knob turns and slowly the door pushes open before Steve pokes his head inside to share what he needed to say. “Someone’s on the phone for you. Can you talk now, or do you want to do it later?”

You perk up and slip a hand on the bathtub to lean forward and wave him inside—“is it Joyce?” You ask with hope.

Steve shakes his head and steps inside to close the door behind him before walking in to hand you the phone. “It’s someone else. A…friend,” he says with a little disdain while he sets down a plate on the counter beside the tub

You narrow your eyes and hesitantly take the phone to slowly press it by your ear and cautiously speak. “Hello?”

“Y/N?” A familiar boyish voice you haven’t heard in a while spoke. “Oh my gosh! Oh my fucking god!”

You narrow your gaze further and furrow your eyebrows to ask, “Dylan?”

“We saw what happened in Hawkins! We’ve been fucking worried!” He kept speaking. “A-are you okay? We haven’t been able to get a hold of you! We tried California but no one answers the phone! Nita then said to try your friend, the girl! That girl! Uh, your friend! Rosin. Ro…well, whatever! But she didn’t answer so we called your aunt and…”

How…how does he know you’re here?

“Dylan,” you cut him sharply. “I’m fine. I’m…okay.” You look up at Steve as you see him undressing. “How did you get my boyfriend's number? Actually how did you know I was here?”

The other line goes silent for a few seconds before he answers a bit cautiously. “Well…your aunt,” he coughs and laughs nervously. “She had this number. And well…she might’ve known where you’ve been because of…well—okay! Don’t say I told you, okay?! Nita will kill me, but she said that your aunt and the woman you stay with talk to keep your aunt updated about you since you don’t call anymore! So that lady told your aunt, your aunt told Nita, and Nita told Aylen, and Aylen told me.” He exhales and waits for you to respond next.

However, you’re a bit distracted by Steve naked beside you to respond right away.

“Y/N? You still with me?” Dylan cuts in, causing you to part your lips to try and speak, but you stay distracted by Steve until he practically jumps in the water and causes a wave of water and bubbles to splash out of the tub and also hit you.

“Oh, amazing,” you mutter and cover your face a bit too late.

“Huh?”

You clear your throat and focus back on the phone. “Uh, well that’s great you know, Dylan, I love that little chain you guys have going on.”

Thanks Joyce.

“Well,” Dylan continues slowly. “You don’t call so this is the only way we can reach you now. Which it isn’t your fault, your dad died, we get that, but you know we’re here. Your friends. Just ‘cause you have a boyfriend and you live somewhere else doesn’t mean that you don’t have us.” He sighs and his voice softens. “We’ve been worried.”

A deep sigh escapes your lips and as you drop your head, Steve leans forward to try and listen in, but you cover his face with your hand and push him away with your foot.

“Yeah…I’m sorry. It’s..it’s been…” you hesitate to actually give him an answer. But you decide that you need to. “…tough, an even tougher week. I’m trying to do better.” You share quietly and begin to smile softly. “Are you guys okay? I..I’ve missed you guys.”

“School is kicking our asses, but we’re hanging in there—Wait! You know who’s been asking about you?” You can practically see his smirk from where you are.

“Who?” You sigh whilst Steve grabs your foot and pulls you towards him, making you yelp.

“You okay?” Dylan interjects.

“Yes!” You exclaim and splash water to Steve, but he just blocks the water with his hand and snickers.

“Oh, well it’s Danny! You remember him right?”

Oh. Nice.

“He came back to visit! And he asked about you! Did you know he’s in the Military now! He’s a pilot.”

You raise your eyebrows and spare a glance at Steve who keeps trying to listen in. This time he actually caught the sound of the name Dylan uttered. Because of course he did.

“Well, that’s nice,” you say with a bit of spite. “But I do have a boyfriend. Did you tell him that?”

“No, it slipped my mind. But it’s not like you’re going to see Danny, now are you?”

“No.” You deadpan.

“Then? Nothing to worry about.”

You roll your eyes and catch Steve’s gaze as he reaches for your arm now to pull you closer to him.

“True…” you hesitate and want to end that conversation there, but there was one piece of information that was bugging you. “So, do you know if Danny is still with that slut Arianna?” You sit up and wait in anticipation.

“No actually they broke up before he entered Boot Camp.”

You slap your hand against the tub and squeal. “Haha! That’s what that bitch gets!” You grin but when you remember Steve’s with you, you clear your throat and slouch again.

“Look Dylan, thank you for reaching out. You shouldn’t have, but thank you. I’m glad you did.” You share sweetly and begin fiddling with Steve’s hand. “I’m okay. I…came out of that…earthquake unscathed.” You swallow thickly and begin to frown and grow upset again. “I’ve really missed you guys, and I promise to start calling again, okay?”

“Or I’ll call you again.” He says, making you scoff softly.

You nod and mutter, “sounds good. I’ll leave you for now, I don’t have much time left with Steve so I’m trying to enjoy the time I have. I’ll call the girls soon though. Bye.”

“Bye, y/n. Bye Steve!” He shouts out loud enough that you have to pull the phone away from your ear, while Steve grows still with surprise. “Bye.”

“Bye,” you say one last time before you hang up the phone and leave the line in silence, something that lets you put the phone on a dry spot on the ground to then focus on Steve.

He averts his gaze though and holds this tightlipped half smile. “So Danny huh?” He rolls out slowly with a slow nod.

You roll your eyes and shake your head to assure him. “Don’t worry about him, okay? He's a thing of the past, Dylan just doesn’t know when to shut up.” You proceed to grab his other hand while you rest your chin on your knees to offer him a sweet smile. “I love you.”

Steve rolls his eyes and huffs. “Don’t sweet talk me, Hopper.”

Your smile widens, making your eyes squint together. “I love you,” you say again.

Steve rolls his head to the side and drifts his eyes back to you whilst he tries to hold back his smile. “I….love you,” he groans.

You beam at him and scoot yourself closer to him to have both of your legs secured beside each other’s sides.

“How are you feeling?” He asks and miraculously drops the other subject. “Better? Refreshed?”

You part your lips and slowly lower your gaze to nod. “I’m refreshed.” You pull your hands away from his and begin playing with the bubbles. “I’m okay.”

Steve huffs and leans his face closer to you to talk softer. “What’s up? I mean it’s weird that you wanted to take a bath alone. And I saw your face as I came in. You have me worried.”

You hesitate. You don’t want to bring the mood down. You don’t want to just keep dumping everything on him.

But you also can’t keep things from him when he wants to know. It’s so easy to do that and just store everything inside.

But you can’t keep doing that unless you want to lose him. And that…it’s a fate worse than death.

“I…” you mutter. “I can’t stop thinking about Max. About what happened.” You shake your head and stop playing with the bubbles to hold your knees instead. “And Eddie…” you pause and swallow thickly as a lump begins to form in your throat, and tears begin to sting your eyes against your will. “Especially Max, I mean she…hasn’t woken up, and seeing her today…I don’t know.” You look up at Steve and catch his own frown; it’s a lot more faint, but it’s there, as is his own sadness.

“If I had been faster trying to get out of the trance maybe I could’ve helped her,” you continue in a shaky voice as you point to yourself. “Or maybe if I was with her, I could’ve stopped it.” You lower your gaze to focus on the floating bubbles formed on the body of water. “I could’ve saved her,” you cry. “Or maybe it could’ve been me. Not her.”

Tears escape past your eyes and roll down your cheeks.

“But now,” you croak. “I feel like it’s on me.”

“Why though?” Steve rebuttals quietly but with no quiver in his voice. “You weren’t the one that cursed her. You didn’t break her bones or put her in that coma—”

“But I couldn’t save her,” you cut him off. “He showed me what everyone was going through when I got stuck in my trance and I still couldn’t save her. I—”

“We,” Steve interjects sharply, pulling your eyes to him. “We didn’t save her. You aren’t the only one to blame in this situation either. We were the ones that were supposed to stop him before he could do anything, but we didn’t. I’m supposed to be the babysitter and I couldn’t help her so it’s not just your fault.”

“Or yours,” you quickly defend him. “You were tangled by those vines, you fought for her and everyone else. Don’t blame yourself please.” You grab his cheeks and caress his warm skin. “You tried your best, going to confront Vecna, was you being the babysitter. You threw the first Molotov, you. You helped in the best way you could, you took care of them, you always do.” You exhale and notice that a few tears escape out of his eyes as you provide him with comfort he didn’t want to admit he needed so he could be strong for you. “You were the hero. So please don’t blame yourself. It was me, I—”

“Stop,” he interrupts you again. “Just stop. We’re just going to go in circles here. It wasn’t anyone's fault but Vecna’s. He hurt her. Not us. We tried our best. We stuck to the plan. It was him, okay? You don't have powers like your sister did so don’t blame yourself. We all tried our best, that’s what counts, you know that’s what she’d tell you.”

You draw in a deep shaky breath and slowly lower your hands and avert his gaze as you offer him a small nod and slowly exhale.

Albeit, Steve wasn’t at all convinced by your response so he continues to stress his comment. “Do you understand me, y/n? It’s not your fault. Max and Eddie wouldn’t blame you. You tried your best, we all did, we all knew the consequences. None of it is your fault, so please stop beating yourself up, understand?” He grabs your cheeks with his hands to lift your face. “Look at me and tell me you understand. None of it was your fault. It isn’t your fault. Do you understand?”

You frown deepens and tears keep gleaming your eyes. You want to argue against him, tell him it is, but you had to recognize there is some truth behind his statement. Even if it’s hard not to keep blaming yourself, you knew he was right.

To some degree.

“I understand,” you mumble.

“Huh?”

You roll your eyes and sigh before repeating yourself louder. “I said, I understand.”

Steve sighs and drops his hands from your cheeks to push your knees down and pull you closer to his chest to continue the conversation. “Believe me it’s hard seeing Max like that, but the best thing we can do is try to be…I don’t know, positive. For them. For the kids. They need it.”

You snuggle your head against his chest and let him stroke your shoulder with his hand, whilst he let the other hand lazily hang off the tub.

“Yeah,” you agree. “You’re right.” You sigh and look up at him. “You'll visit her for me, yeah? I would love to keep her company, but I need to go home. Eleven needs me too.”

Steve nods without hesitance. “Of course. I’ll try to go before work. And on my days off.”

You nod in agreement and stay quiet after that.

Steve proceeds to press a kiss on the top of your head, causing you to tilt your head back so he could press another on your lips.

“I love you,” you murmur against his lips.

Steve smiles and lifts his hand to stroke your cheek. “I love you too,” he repeats softly. “So much…It may sound selfish, but I’m happy you survived.”

You smile at him and slide your hand up to his jaw to share your truth. “I’m selfish too then because I’m glad you made it out too.” You lean in and share a more passionate kiss before you break away and lower your head to continue sadly. “I’m going to miss you. I hate leaving,” you groan and feel his hand stiffen before he begins to pull away.

“About leaving,” he rolls out slowly and a bit awkwardly. “I have something for you.” He pulls away from you so he can climb out of the tub and make his way to the door, leaving behind a slippery trail, but making you smirk.

“Nice ass, Harrington,” you throw at him as you watch him leave the bathroom.

Steve looks back and shoots you a smirk before he disappears into his room. He doesn't take long at all though, but he does return a few seconds later with a wooden shelf from his drawer. “This is for you.”

You straighten up and watch him climb back in the tub to then comment on said object. “Ah. A drawer? Well, I hate to say it but that won’t fit in my luggage sweetie.”

Steve shoots you a glare before he brushes his hair back with his fingers and turns the drawer to explain himself. “This will stay here, but it’s special. You know why? Because it’s yours. For you.”

You bite the inside of your cheek and just blink in confusion, causing Steve to sigh deeply and become impatient. “What I’m asking since you don’t seem to understand is if you want to move in with me? Hence the drawer. It’s for your clothes.”

“Hence?” You chuckle nervously even if you were really, truly dying on the inside. “Ha.”

“What?” He rebuttals. “Are we moving too fast? Because if we are, all that shit I said about the six nuggets was because I thought I was going to die. We don’t have to have them. We—”

You cut Steve off by covering his mouth so you can assure him. “No. That’s fine, I’m,” you giggle. “I’m just surprised you know? I didn’t expect it.” You lower your hand and begin to frown as you share your only concern. “What about Eleven though? I can’t leave her.”

“She can move in with us, I’m saving up money to buy a place of my own so we don’t have to live with my parents, and so Eleven has a room of her own. I’m not asking you to leave her behind, I wouldn't ask that, ever. Unless I want your dad to come haunt me forever.”

You snort and giggle. “That’d be bad,” you mutter nervously since butterflies were fluttering like crazy in your stomach and your heart beat at a speed you thought impossible.

“Of course it’d be after you graduate,” he continues to explain. “You could, I don't know, go to college close by. Or start your police academy in the city since it’s something you want to do. I’m going to get a better job that pays more. Eleven could start school with Mike, Dustin and Lucas.” He shrugs. “But it’s up to you. If it’s easier being in California, that’s okay too. I just wanted to ask, and well…I almost lost you once, I don’t want to risk that again.”

A deep breath furls in through your nose and you hold that in your chest while you progress his words.

It’s not that you didn’t want to, all he said sounded perfect. He just took you by surprise, that's all.

“I,” you stammer and slowly meet his gaze. “I do want to.” You grin and nod. “Yes. That sounds good! I mean I’d have to talk to my sister, so I’ll have to give you a definite answer then, but I’m sure she’d be okay with it.” You hold his gaze for a second before you throw your arms around him to hug him tightly. “I don’t think we’re moving too fast. I mean, I feel like it’s all good! Perfect!”

Steve drops the drawer and returns your embrace to press a kiss on your forehead and smile down at you with this soft loving look in his eyes. “Yeah, exactly!”

You squeal and hug him tighter. “I love you,” you share happily. “I do, I love you.”

Steve chuckles and lifts your head to press a kiss on your lips. “I’m in love with you.”

You beam at him and scoff. “I’m in love with you.”

“Yeah, I’ll never get tired of hearing that,” he says honestly.

“Good, I’ll never stop saying it,” you retort and rest your head back on his arm while you keep grinning at him.

Steve then tilts his head and smirks. “I thought of a name,” he begins to change the subject as he reaches over for the plate with two sandwiches. “First name, Tony. Middle name, Montana. Tony Montana Harrington.” He bounces his eyebrows and hands you your sandwich. “Cool, right?”

You feign a smile and nod to make him believe it was a good name. But he saw straight through you and immediately rebutted against it. “You chose Leia and Luke. I get this.”

He’s right….of course.

You groan and give in. “Fine. Fine, but one thing,” you clear your throat and pull your hand off him to make a finger gun. “Who you think you fucking with?” You quote in the character's accent. “I’m Tony Montana! You fuck with me you fucking with the best.”

Steve’s smile falls, but slowly he breaks into a teasing laugh. “You’re a dork,” he teases you in between laughs. “You’re lucky I love you.” He hugs you tighter and leans down to press kisses on your face, making you break into a genuine and hearty laugh.

Thanks to him the trouble you rested on your shoulders lifted, and for a while, just for a little while you were carefree and happy.

*THE NEXT DAY*

“…So wherever you might be I hope you see Sara and give her a hug for me, tell her how much I miss her and that I’ll never forget her, like I’ll never forget you.

Love, your Little Valentine.” You sigh and fold your letter to then sit in silence.

Birds fly by, the sound of Steve’s engine sounds nearby, and the whisperings of Dustin, Steve and Robin echoe quietly.

“I’ll take care of Eleven. You know I will,” you speak to the grave beside you. “I know that she’s been MIA lately, and I’m sorry for that, but I try my best. I hope you understand.” You turn your head to look at your fathers grave. “I also hope you’re not mad that I might be moving too fast with Steve. I just…I love him and I can’t see myself with anyone else. He makes me happy.” You press your hand on the cold stone and smile.

“I miss you every time I wake up,” you continue. “I always will.” You swallow thickly and lean forward to press your forehead against the grave. “I love you dad. I’ll try to be better.” You close your eyes and exhale deeply.

Silence lingers for a little while as you keep your forehead pressed against the stone. You expected to cry for your visit, but surprisingly you weren’t in tears, you weren’t happy either though, but little by little you’re actually beginning to grieve for him now. It's sad not having him anymore, but you’re feeling a bit better about his death.

“I’ll visit again,” you say as you pull away to stand back on your feet and return to the car.

“Okay,” you direct at your friends with a faint smile. “I’m done, we can go.”

Robin steps forward and offers you a sweet smile. “All better?”

You smile at her and exhale deeply. “A bit.”

Once you’re close to the car, Steve grabs your shoulder to rub it as a form of consolation. You offer him a sweet smile and let his hand slide off your shoulder while you walk to the passenger side since you couldn’t linger outside the car because you already agreed to help Nancy donate some things to those currently in need.

However, right before you could reach your door, Dustin runs past you to reach the passenger door first.

“Shotgun!” He yells, causing Steve to stop as he was going to open his door, and causing Robin and you to also stop in your tracks to look over at your child friend. “I call shotgun!”

“No!” Steve quickly counters. “No. Children ride in the back.”

“I’m not a child Steve,” Dustin rebuttals in a serious voice. “I’m sure you can survive without having your girlfriend riding beside you for one drive.”

Steve’s eyes narrow, whilst Robin and you actually find amusement in this little banter—“Rules are rules. When y/n is here, her seat is the passenger seat.”

“Unless I drive,” you interject with a smile. But they ignore you.

“Well,” Dustin scoffs. “If someone calls shotgun that actually comes before stupid girlfriend rules.”

“Hey,” you exclaim as you throw your hands out.

Steve props his arm on the car’s hood and keeps arguing. “My car, my rules. Go. Back.”

Robin and you share an annoyed look now, but this time instead of interjecting you step back and turn to skip once and then run to snatch Steve’s keys from his hand. “Mommy’s driving now, children. And Robin’s riding shotgun.”

Robin grins and strolls over to the passenger door whilst Steve tries to argue with you now. Albeit, you just gently push him aside and climb into the seat to quickly close the door in his face and shoot him a smile.

Steve then tries to open the door, but you quickly slam the lock down and smile wider.

“Y/N,” Steve protests as he keeps pulling the handle. “You’re not driving.”

You hold his gaze and struggle to put the key in the hole, but once you do, you start the car and smirk.

“I’ll go slow,” you assure him and bat your eyelashes. “Promise.”

Steve challenges you for a few more seconds, but ultimately decides to give in and sit in the back. Dustin on the other hand struggled for a few seconds, he wants to keep arguing, but he gives up this time and just shows his annoyance by groaning and climbing in the back too.

“Can I be in charge of the music?” Robin asks after she puts on her seatbelt.

You look over at her and nod. “Of course sweetheart.” You then put on your sunglasses and look back at Dustin to tell him one last thing. “Tighten your seatbelt, we don’t have a booster seat for you.” You smirk and he glares at you before he flips you off. His reaction just makes you snicker while you turn away to change the gear and begin driving out of the cemetery.

“Maybe we can check out your rock cassettes?” Robin teases you while she flips through the music you had in the stereo.

You scoff. “Yeah, I kind of destroyed those a long time ago.” You sigh deeply and keep your eyes on the road.

“Too hardcore?”

You shake your head. “Just…” You clear your throat and whisper. “Ex reasons.”

Robin looks over at you and grins. “You dated a rockstar, Hopper?” She says loudly.

“No,” you retort. “He was not a rock star, he liked rock but he was no rockstar.”

Robin looks over her shoulder and shoots Steve a smirk before looking back at you. “Wow. Who would’ve thought you were into bad boys. You would’ve loved The Hair Harrington over there in his prime years in high school then.”

“Prime years?” Steve remarks.

You scoff and shake your head in disapproval. “Please, from what you and Jonathan have told me, I would’ve hated Steve in his, “prime years”,” you say as you air quote with your fingers. “No offense or anything, Steve.”

“I wouldn't blame you,” Steve quickly replies.

“Anyway!” You exclaim. “Danny wasn’t a bad boy. The only bad boy I dated was Billy, but that was mostly to get back at my dad.”

“So it is Danny!” Steve interjects.

You ignore Steve and reach for your bag to rummage through the cassettes you carry. “We can listen to uh, I don’t know, Come And Get Your Love, since you can’t pick a song.”

Robin huffs and lolls her head to the side in annoyance. “You’re only suggesting that song ‘cause you’re in love.”

“What?” You chuckle. “It’s a good song!”

Robin leans over and changes the songs until she gets to the one you want. “I hate failed romances.”

“Don’t give up, they’ll be better people out there, if not just have fun. Mess around.” You glance back at her and offer her a smile. “You’re young, smart, beautiful and cool.”

Robin exhales deeply and just slouches in her seat. “If that’s what you say,” she grumbles.

You steal one last glance at her and smirk as an idea pops into your mind.

Once you’re out of the cemetery and turn to the big street, you smirk deeper and press on the gas, and don’t keep your promise to Steve.

And of course he begins to freak out. “Hey! Hey! Slow down!”

You grin and ignore him while Robin begins to giggle since Steve is freaking out. You actually end up ignoring Steve for a few miles until your fun is forced to a stop since you do face traffic.

At least it was a nice distraction for a while.

“You’re not driving my car ever again,” Steve throws at you once you arrive at Nancy’s house.

You shut the door and smile as you skip towards him to wrap your arms around his waist and whisper. “Admit it, you had fun. I’m a cool driver.”

“Hardly,” he rebuttals and stays with you as Robin goes to let Nancy know you’re here. “This isn’t another one of your dirt bikes, you know that.”

You hum in agreement. “Can I drive for the rest of the day?” You disregard his comment.

Steve draws in a deep breath and looks back at you to meet your gaze. “Yeah, fine,” he breathes out. “Just this once.”

You grin and press a kiss on his back. “I love you,” you share.

A faint smile tugs on his lips, but he plays cool by sighing. “I love you.”

You pull away and stay by the trunk to wait for the girl you’re here to help. And once Nancy does walk out of her house, you all begin to help her load boxes of stuff inside the car right away.

“By the way before I leave I think it’s important that we girls have a talk.”

Robin pulls her head back to look at you. “About?” She probes.

You set the book down in the box and smile. “Stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?” Steve queries.

Robin and you look at him and you shoot him a pointed glare. “Girl stuff,” you clarify as you cross your arms over your chest. “Sorry no boys allowed.”

“Really?” Nancy asks.

You scoff. “Yeah, I mean I can’t tell my boyfriend everything. Besides…” you lean towards her and whisper. “I'm going to talk about him. Something he said.”

“No,” she huffs. “I mean are you sure you want to talk to me?”

You look at her puzzled and nod. “Why not? Unless you don’t want to. Which is fine.”

Sure, trusting her completely is going to take time, but well, after what you’ve faced together, after spending time with her you actually want to keep her as a friend. Not just because she and Jonathan are dating and it’d be awkward, but because you really want to now. She’s cool.

Nancy smiles at the thing in her hand and nods. “No I do. I just wasn’t sure. Thank you.”

You offer her a smile and continue to look through her things and change the subject. “Hopefully you’re not donating your Tom Cruise poster,” you smile while Steve hands you stuff so you can pass it to Dustin. “Because if you are, I can find it a home.”

Nancy looks up at you and scoffs in amusement, whilst Steve just shakes his head in disapproval. She was actually going to add something, but just before she can, her mom cuts her off. “Hey, Nance! I found some more of your old stuff in the attic.”

Nancy turns away to walk to her mom, letting you continue to just look through her stuff.

“You don’t need a Tom Cruise poster,” Steve adds. “You have me. You can look at me all the time when we move in together.”

Robin begins to chuckle and adds a remark to his comment. “Excuse me, what?”

You lean forward and shoot her a dismissive whisper. “We’ll talk later.”

“Oh…Oh!”

You snicker softly and finally address Steve’s comment. “It’s for Eleven. Maybe if she stares at it long enough, her taste in guys will change. She’ll move on from you know, and lay her eyes on someone…well someone else.”

“Hey!” Dustin is quick to defend Mike.

“That’s not fair,” Robin interjects. “She could say the same about you.”

“Hey, what?” Steve interjects sharply while he fixes the boxes inside the trunk. “Eleven loves me, okay?”

You catch Nancy coming over and just leave the subject alone for now—you didn’t hate Mike, he’s okay, he’s good with your sister, but well let’s just say your annoyance towards him hasn't really disappeared.

“Here’s another one,” Nancy adds as she walks over to hand you the box.

You take it and hand it to Steve, whilst you ignore the tire screeches happening in the street to keep focusing on what you’re doing.

However, Mrs. Wheeler does end up distracting you and everyone else. “Did someone order a pizza?”

“Pizza?” Dustin asks and looks back while you and others do the same the moment a horn blares.

And once you do look back, you immediately recognize the pizza van and know right away who it belongs to before you actually spot the familiar faces.

“Oh,” you gasp breathlessly.

For once, Argyle was actually a sight for sore eyes.

“It's them,” you mutter with a growing smile.

When the van stops in the driveway and the doors open, the first people to walk out are Argyle and Jonathan. Mike and Will follow to walk out from the back, and behind them all though, is the one person who brings you tears, joy and relief to see.

Eleven.

She was okay. She…she looked different, but she was safe and okay. She was there. She was okay.

Furthermore, the moment Eleven's eyes fall on you, her smile begins to tremble and she doesn’t hesitate even for a second to break into a sprint towards you.

Without hesitation of your own, you break into your own sprint and meet her halfway to throw your arms around each other.

“You’re okay,” she instantly says. “You’re okay.”

Happy tears break out of your eyes and you nod eagerly. “I’m okay. I’m here. You,” cry and pull away to cup her cheeks so you can look at her shaved head. “What happened?” You slide your hand up and stroke the side of her head. “What happened?”

“Papa,” she shares. “He happened. But it’s a long story. I’ll tell you later. Okay?”

You frown and sniffle. “I’m sorry,” you say. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I tried calling, but no one answered. I’m sorry.”

Eleven shakes her head and lifts her eyes away from the scars around your throat that the bats left, to assure you sweetly. “But you did help with One. That’s what matters. You helped me and the others.” Her smile falters and her voice proceeds to break. “I was scared I lost you,” she begins to cry. “He showed me you in a trance. He said you…died….he showed me…” she pauses since she can’t even finish her sentence.

“But I’m here,” you comfort her. “I escaped. Once thanks to Steve and the others, and the second time because he was busy with Max, and you I assume. But I’m here.” You wipe the tears off her face and whisper. “I’m here.”

Eleven nods and then hugs you again.

“I love you Eleven,” you finally share. “I was scared I was going to lose you. I’m glad I didn’t. I love you, sis.”

Eleven’s hands clutch onto you and she giggles. “I love you too.”

You grin and pull away, letting her continue to speak. “You’ll tell me what happened later? Because I have something to tell you too.”

“Yeah,” you nod. “We can talk later because…” you pause and smile a bit shyly. “I need to tell you something too.”

“Okay,” she agrees and looks beside you as she catches Steve walking over.

“Hey. You’re okay,” he tells her.

You step away to let her step towards him. “Yeah,” she says with a smile. “You are too. Good.”

Steve scoffs and nods. “Yeah, I’ll say.”

Eleven giggles and walks over to Steve to hug him. It takes him by complete surprise but he hugs her back.

“Thank you,” you hear her say. “For taking care of my sister. For saving her too. I’m happy she has you.”

“It was all her,” he replies with a soft smile. “She saved me actually.”

Your smile widens into a grin as you can’t help but feel your heart skipping with joy as you see your favorite people interact.

“Thank you, anyway,” she says anyway before she pulls away to then walk over to Dustin.

You turn as well to look for Jonathan and Will. And they’re not so hard to spot since they were both busy talking with someone else. But when they do notice you’re finally free they both walk over to you at the same time.

“Hey, guys,” you greet happily and meet them halfway to take them in for an embrace. “You guys are okay,” you whisper with relief

“So are you,” Will says.

“Are you?” Jonathan asks.

You nod and feel your heart at ease now. “Yeah, I’m okay. I am now.” You all pull away but stay in front of each other. “You guys look like shit,” you giggle.

Jonathan scoffs and nods. “We’ve been through hell for the past couple of days.”

“Yeah,” you scoff. “Me too. One of those reasons is because you guys wouldn’t answer or call. I’ve been worried to say the least.”

“Sorry,” Will interjects as he scratches the back of his neck. “We haven’t been able to call. When we did try, our calls wouldn’t go in.”

You exhale and assure them. “It’s okay. You’re here now that’s what matters….I’ve missed you guys.”

Jonathan smiles at the ground and Will is the one that answers. “We’ve missed you too. We needed you actually.”

“Really?” You query with a growing grin. “Nice,” you huff and lick your lips to continue more seriously. “Anyway. We need to have a family meeting as soon as possible. I heard from a little bird that something happened that neither of you bothered to share.”

Jonathan and Will look at each other to share a quick concerned look before they nod in agreement and then quickly break away to return to the people they had been talking with before to avoid your anger, letting Argyle walk up to you now. “Y/N!”

You look over at him and smile. “Argyle. You know,” you sigh. “I don’t want to ask how you got mixed into all this. I’m glad you’re okay though.”

“Don’t ask,” he chuckles. “You won’t believe it. I hardly do.” He looks past you and his smile widens. “Steve! Hey my man!”

Said man walks over and offers Argyle a tightlipped smile and a stiff nod. “Hey.”

You bite the inside of your cheek and huff in amusement. Argyle then wants to add something else, but the sound of Eleven's voice cuts him off. “Y/N.”

You turn around to face her, Dustin, Will and Mike. “Yes?” You ask.

“We’re going to go visit Max, is that okay?”

You nod but begin to frown. “Of course. I’m going to go with Steve to drop some things off, we can meet you there after.”

“No,” Mike quickly interjects, pulling your eyes to him. “We can’t. She can’t.”

You narrow your eyes on him and quirk a brow to question him without the need to actually ask.

“I have my powers back,” Eleven continues for Mike. “But bad men are looking for me.”

Now your eyebrows begin to furrow and you quickly deadpan. “Explain. Now.”

“Later,” Will says. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“Just don’t pack,” Dustin adds with a teasing smirk.

No one laughs or smiles, Steve just gets confused and Eleven ignores him to add something else. “For now just meet at home after you are done. I will be there.”

You sigh deeply and just nod since all you can do is agree even if you have a lot to ask. “Fine. I’ll meet you at the cabin then.”

The boys and Argyle begin to leave towards Nancy and Jonathan, but Eleven stays to ask one more thing. “Can I have some money? I want to buy Max something.”

Without hesitance, you agree. “Yeah, you can,” you nod and then try to walk back to Steve’s car to get your purse, but he actually catches you by surprise first.

“How much do you want?” He asks her, causing your jaw to drop.

“Steve,” you try to stop him with a whisper. “It’s okay. I have money.”

Steve ignores you and takes out his wallet, while Eleven is a bit off guard too. She actually first looks over at you to check in.

“Just here,” Steve continues and pulls out a twenty. “You can keep the change.”

“Steve,” you whisper with an awestruck look now painted on your features.

He looks over at you and offers you a sweet smile. “It’s okay,” he adds. “I got her.”

Your heart begins to race and an admiring and loving smile grows on your features. “Thank you,” you mumble.

His smile widens and turns softer as he holds your gaze. “You’re my girl. I got you. I got the both of you.”

God. He needs to be kissed right now.

“Well,” Eleven interrupts your moment. “Thank you, Steve.” Her eyes drift to you and she offers you a teasing smile before she begins to walk back. “I’ll see you later.”

You nod quickly and wave at her. Once she turns away you clear your throat and address Steve. “Again,” you say as you turn to walk back to Steve’s car. “Thank you, I’ll pay you back.”

“Don’t,” he quickly rebuttals. “It’s okay, really. I told you I want you in my life. She’s important to you so she’s important to me too. That means I’m looking out for her too.” He throws his arm around your shoulder and smirks. “Besides, I like the cool points.”

You roll your eyes and scoff as you counter back. “If she loves you already, how come you need cool points then?”

“Don’t be jealous. You’re still my favorite girl.”

“Okay,” you scoff. “But I’m not jealous.”

——

*LATER*

“Oh god,” you mutter in disbelief as all you see as you walk in the high school is all the displaced people due to the gates ripping apart the town.

It’s so sad seeing the town you still consider home be so torn apart because of something they didn’t even know happened. Seeing all the missing people posters lost to the gates opening is just so depressing, especially because you could see the desperation of all the people waiting for an answer.

What got you the most though was Eddie’s poster. One, because jackasses vandalized it, two, because his uncle is still hopeful he’s around. Even after all the lies that have come out, he’s still hopeful. He’s still looking for Eddie; a man no one will know died a hero to help this town that hated him.

And that knowledge, and the anger that boiled within you is what makes you storm over to the missing persons board to rip Eddie’s vandalized poster off to crumble it up, and throw it in the trash.

“Good riddance,” the cop quickly commented after he caught you.

You snap your head towards him and shoot him a nasty glare. “Watch your mouth,” you snap.

“Excuse me?” He sneers as he looks at you up and down and then focuses on your face with a scowl.

You huff and tilt your head since you don’t back down. “You heard me. Watch your mouth and have some respect.”

The cop parts his lips to argue back immediately, but something seems to go off that makes him step back and dismiss you. “Move along.”

Now you look at him up and down to shoot him one more glare before you turn on your heels and rejoin your group and ignore Steve and Robin’s impressed faces.

“Thank you,” Dustin whispers as you continue towards the donation table.

You look over at him and smile softly. “Of course,” you comfort him.

“Hi,” you hear Robin greet the volunteer girl.

When you stop between her and Dustin you set your box down and catch the girl's reply. “Hi.”

“Uh, so these are blankets and sheets,” Robin shares while she points to the boxes you all brought in. “And some…some clothes and…and some kid’ toys.”

“Wow. It’s already so organized.” The girl huffs and smiles. “We appreciate that. Do you want a tax receipt for it?”

Robin, Steve and you share a confused look that gives Robin the answer to say. “Uh, no. I don’t think that we need one. Thank you, though.”

“But,” you interject and lean in towards the table. “Is there anything else that we can do to help?”

The girl puts her pen down on the clipboard and looks at the four of you with a relieved smile before she sends Steve and you off to the clothing section, while Robin gets sent to the cafeteria, and Dustin gets sent to help the people.

“We take from these piles of clothes and then we sort by age. We got infants, girls, boys, men, women,” the volunteer lady lets you know as she points to the different sections. “Oh, if anything is in too bad shape we really don’t want that.”

“Okay,” you say as you follow her with a pile of clothes she had already given you. “Sounds easy.”

The lady suddenly turns around, causing you to take a big step back. “Thank you so much, we appreciate the help.”

You offer her a smile and a nod. “Of course.”

She mirrors the smile before she walks away to let you work.

“This is easy,” you whisper to yourself and put down the pile of clothes to begin sorting them in their right places.

It isn’t hard at all.

But, when you do get to your last piece of clothing you couldn’t help but pout out of awe. “Oh my god!” You exclaim and lift the little dress up and beam at it.

“What? What?” Steve asks in concern.

You turn and face him to show off the little clothes. “Look! Look how tiny it is. Isn’t it so cute?”

Steve ignores the worried glances you got and exhales. “Yeah. Well it is baby clothes, so.”

“How a person can fit in this is beyond me,” you giggle and lower your hands, but keep admiring the little yellow sundress. “It’s so adorable.” You look over at him and smile. “Imagine, little Sara, or little Leia in this. Aw.” You turn away to place the dress where it needs to go, but in doing so you miss the soft smile tugged on his lips and the love struck look in his eyes.

You actually don’t look over at him for a while since you’re concentrating on your task. It isn’t until he returns to your side and nudges your arm that you pay attention to him again. “What?”

“Look. Robin, six o’clock.”

You look back and he quickly snaps back. “No other way!”

“You said six,” you complain and follow his line of gaze only to spot Robin and the girl Vickie smiling, giggling, and talking with each other.

You’d say you’re proud and happy, but after what happened the other day you’re more bothered than happy—no, you’re happy Robin can talk to her crush, but well, she can do a lot better.

The green flags are just not waving for you.

“Meh,” you add and focus back on your task in hand.

Steve blinks and rips his eyes away from your mutual friend to comment on your response. “Meh?”

You shrug and place a piece of clothes down. “She can do better.”

“Better than the girl she likes?” He adds and follows you.

You nod. “Yes.” You glance over at Robin and Vickie and see the girl rambling while Robin seems to also add into that. “It’s just the green flags aren’t waving. She can do better.”

Steve scoffs and rebuttals. “She’s the girl we’ve been pushing her with. Fast times girl?”

“So?” You retort. “Look, Vickie is pretty, sure. She’s into girls, obviously, but I don’t know…they’re too alike.”

“You haven’t met her.”

“So? Look Steve, it’s just—”

“You’re jealous?” He cuts you off, causing you to stop what you’re doing. “You’re scared Vickie is going to take your friend away.” He shoots you a cocky smirk, but you huff and deny his claims.

“No….I am not. Why should I not want the happiness of my friend? Why would I not want her love life to succeed?” You press and continue to work alongside him.

“Because,” Steve continues to explain as he grabs the clothes you hand him to fold it. “Robin has been attached to you ever since you met her, you don’t want her to have another girl friend. You don’t want to be replaced.”

He’s…he’s only partially true. Partially.

“It’s not that,” you keep stubbornly insisting. “I’m just looking out for my friend. I don’t want her to get hurt. Okay? That’s all.” You drift your eyes to the side and catch his gaze on you already, so you just shrug and hand him the last piece of clothes in your hand. “Anyway! I need to go check on Eleven, she should be at the cabin already. Can you take me?”

Steve puts the shirt down in the right place and nods. “Yeah, but I won’t be able to stay, I’m going to need to come back for these two.”

“That’s fine,” you assure him as you both walk away from the table.

“Hey,” Steve interjects as he grabs your hand to stop you in your path towards Robin. “You aren’t going to stay in that broken down cabin are you?”

You shrug. “I’ll tell Jonathan to help me patch up the holes. Our furniture is still dusty but it'll work after I clean it.”

“What about food?”

“I’ll buy some,” you give him an immediate solution. “After all, from what they said, I think my stay here is going to be permanent now, so we’ll need it. At least until we can talk to Joyce to figure things out.”

Steve begins to scratch the back of his head and looks away for a second before he clears his throat to continue. “Why don’t Eleven and you stay with me? I know we said later on, but you can just come stay with me for a while. There’s spare rooms. Jonathan and Will can stay with the Wheeler’s. Because I mean, if the bad men are after your sister, then they’re probably after them and you too. You’ll be safe with me, my parents won’t snitch. At least until Joyce comes, or at least until the cabin is fixed a bit better.”

A smile slowly tugs on your lips and you don’t need time to decide for yourself, but now that Eleven’s here you do need to talk to her first. “I’d love to stay with you, but I’ll need to ask Eleven first. Okay? I’ll talk to her when I get there. And I’ll also ask her about the other moving in thing. Promise.”

Steve sighs in relief and nods before he puts his hand on your back to turn you to head back towards Robin.

The moment you do reach her, both her and Vickie look over at you.

“Robin, I’m going to drop y/n off at her cabin,” Steve explains. “I’ll come back for Dustin and you.”

Robin nods eagerly and then glances at Vickie before dropping her butter knife and pointing at her. “Guys, this is Vickie. Vickie, these are my best friends, y/n and Steve.”

Vickie grins at the both of you and stretches out her hand to greet you, but she then quickly pulls it back and giggles nervously. “Sorry, gloves. I can’t get them dirty. I mean they’re going to get dirty, but I mean germ dirty.” She scoff and shakes her head to continue. “But hi! I’m Vickie. I knew you guys from school, ha. Chief’s princess,” she points at you and then looks at Steve. “And you know, The Hair Harrington,” she exhales. “Oh god, I’m sorry it’s just nicknames from school. You know—I’m sorry.”

Steve and you share a look, and you want to tell him you told him so and just laugh really, but you hold yourself back and smile sweetly. “Well, Vickie, it's nice meeting you.” You look over at Robin and shoot her a smirk. “Take care of Robin, yeah?” You step back and turn to walk away.

Once Steve catches up to you and you’re outside of the school you both burst out laughing.

“I told you!” You exclaim and clap. “Alike!”

“Yeah, no you’re right. Wow.” He looks over at you to point at you. “So? Green flags?”

You shrug with a small smile. “I’ll see.”

*A FEW MINUTES LATER*

“I’ll be back in about two hours,” Steve informs you when he parked the car a bit away from the cabin.

You lean in to kiss him, but when you grasp what he said you pull back to comment on it. “Two hours? We agreed in three hours.”

Steve shrugs. “So? I’m going to miss you.”

The smile on your lips slowly begins to widen but you instead counter against his comment. “Well, it seems that I’m coming back so you’ll have enough of me. You’ll get tired of me.”

Steve smiles and shakes his head. “Impossible.” He leans in and presses a tender kiss on your lips before pulling back to continue quieter. “I’ll be back in an hour with food. I’ll miss you.”

He just keeps changing it. Good.

“It’ll just be one hour.” You mutter and glance at his lips.

“Tell me about it,” he whispers and shows off a charming half grin before he grabs your face and pulls you in for a deeper kiss that you immediately return.

The kiss was so fervent and desperate, yet passionate and tender at the same time. He made time become irrelevant, and provided a fire to your heart that made it race but weakened you at the same time. It was even hard to breathe normally, the both of you were practically hyperventilating since neither of you could pull away from the taste of each other’s lips.

“Steve,” you groan to try and say something, but he just pulls you in and this time he slips his tongue to swipe on your bottom lip. The feeling makes you melt and feel all tingly, while you could feel your stomach twist with desperation and desire.

For that moment you let him take complete control, you forgot where you were and why you came exactly. All you could focus on was on Steve, on how smooth his skin was as you slowly slid your hands up his face to tug on his hair. When he did this deep throaty groan all you felt was your own need for him now more than ever.

But you couldn’t. You can’t now.

But he’s making it so hard to leave.

“Steve,” you mumble as you manage to pull away. “I need to go.” You pant and wipe his bottom lip with your thumb. “I’ll see you in thirty minutes.”

Steve's eyes bounce from your lips to your eyes and he nods and whispers. “Thirty. Got it. Thirty.”

You smile and press another kiss on his lips. “I love you.”

Steve smirks and grabs you by the back of your neck to pull you in for a deep kiss again.

“Steve, baby,” you say between the kiss. “You’re making it hard to go.”

“Then don’t. Let’s go home,” he suggests between the kiss. “We’ll come back in three hours.”

You pull away and keep your hands on his chest. “Later. Promise. When we have time. People are expecting us.”

Steve sighs and nods with discontent. “Yeah, yeah, okay. It’s not fair though.”

You grin at him as he averts his gaze and assure him as you drag yourself back to open the door. “Thirty minutes.”

Steve lifts a little off his seat and just as you were going to fully exit the car he basically throws himself over to you to grab your wrist to stop you.

“Steve,” you protest. “I really need to go. Eleven’s waiting for me.”

“Look,” he mutters and points forward.

You shift your eyes to where he points to and search in between the woods to find what he pointed out, but for a few seconds all you saw was just trees.

“The car,” he points out and pulls you in so you can finally spot it parked near the cabin. “It has dark windows. You recognize it?”

You squint your eyes and lean forward to gasp. “No. I don’t.”

Without question Steve lets you go to unbuckle himself and open his car door to climb out of the car and begin to carefully trudge forward. You quickly follow after him and keep your guard up, you don’t keep your mind open to the possibility that it might be someone you knew, you expect the worst due to all that’s happened and the fact that Eleven is currently wanted by bad men.

You’re basically ready to fight if the occasion arose. How? And with what weapons? Well you didn’t know, but you were ready the moment you reached the mysterious car.

Even if you could see nothing inside because of the tinted windows.

“I can't see shit,” Steve whispers and crouches to try and look harder. “Maybe they’re in your house.”

You move past him to go walk inside, but you come to a quick and hard stop when you spot Joyce hugging Will and Jonathan.

After that your concern just flew past your head.

“Joyce,” you call with emotions already building up.

Said woman looks over at you and a warmer smile decorates her features, she pulls away from her sons and takes one step forward so you could run to her and greet her with a hug.

“Hi, sweetie,” she greets sweetly.

You exhale deeply out of relief and just hold onto her tighter, because seeing her, feeling her arms around you felt the same way as when you had Hopper; safe.

“You’re okay,” you croak. “You’re okay.”

“I am,” she assures you. “I am. I’m sorry I couldn’t call. I’m sorry I wouldn't answer calls.”

You shake your head and pull away to face her and let her cup your face to wipe your tears away. “You were busy, I understand. It’s just…things happened here and I was just worried about you. That’s all.”

Joyce huffs and nods while she seems to grow rather weird. “I was busy,” she says and meets your gaze, and doesn’t drop her smile. “But I’m okay. Are you okay?”

You nod and assure her. “I’m okay.”

“Your surprise is inside,” she reveals and points to the cabin.

You scoff with amusement and glance at the front door before returning your eyes to hers. “Really? I thought it was a joke. What is it?”

“I can't say,” she says with a shrug and pulls away to dig her hands in her pants pockets. “You’ll have to go inside and see.”

You grin at her now and squeal. “I’m excited!”

“You should be!”

You giggle and step back to grab Steve’s hand and pull him inside with you.

“Careful,” Steve comments when you’re running on the wooden front porch. “I wouldn’t want you to fall in through the porch.”

“Ha, so funny,” you retort and let go of his hand when you’re inside. “Eleven? I’m here.” You walk in further and search the house for your surprise, but all you see is just dust and old furniture.

Eleven walks out of the room slowly and right away you notice how her eyes are gleaming, and that her cheeks have tear marks on them.

“Hey,” you begin to query. “What’s—”

However, you end up cutting yourself and gasping when you see…your father walking out of the room too.

“Oh, shit,” Steve gasps.

This. This had to be some dream. This can’t be real. He’s dead.

“No,” you whisper and shake your head as you stumble back, but keep your eyes on him; on his rather thin face and body, on his shaved head. “This…” you trail off and turn to Steve with a trembling frown and tear clouded eyes. “He’s here. Real or not real?” You ask for reassurance.

Steve turns to you and spares a glance at the man cautiously waiting with Eleven in front of the room—“real,” Steve assures you. “It’s real I swear.”

You draw in a deep breath and look back at Hopper to let your eyes search his face one more time thoroughly.

It’s not that you didn’t want him to not be here, but you can’t help but fear that this is some cruel vision, an even crueler nightmare.

He didn’t look like he did in the visions or your dreams, but this could still be a trick.

“It’s Hop,” Eleven says to try and comfort you, making you release a shaky breath.

Yet the only person you can look at for a clarification is Steve; he notices right away the look in your eyes, the need for an answer, and he doesn’t hesitate to assure you. “It’s real. It’s all real.” He cups your cheek and nods. “He’s here.”

“Y/N,” you hear Hopper say.

Tears roll down your cheeks and you slowly turn your head at the sound of his voice.

Hopper slowly steps forward, making you pull away from Steve and take only one step towards your father.

“It’s me. I’m here.”

More tears cloud your eyes and you slowly begin to walk towards him to meet halfway just a few inches in front him.

He doesn’t move or try anything, he lets you take your time to make sure that he wasn’t a dream, he watches you quietly as you lift your hand to slowly cup his cheek to feel his warm flesh for yourself.

“Dad,” you say breathlessly and carefully begin to caress his cheek.

Hopper smiles and cups your hand as tears of his own trial down his cheeks.

“Hi, baby,” his says in a quivering voice.

You sniffle and use your hand to cup his other cheek since he did feel real, his face did feel warm to the touch. He felt real. He looked it too.

“Dad,” you cry and try to smile, but your bottom lip trembles too much to let that actually show.

With his other hand he cups your cheek to gently begin caressing it, making you lean into his touch and smile before you pull each other into an embrace.

Now all you could do was ball the fabric of his shirt in your hands so he wouldn’t vanish like last time. You closed your eyes and dug your head into the crook of his neck to take in his small; he didn’t smell great, but you didn’t care, he smelled real, he felt real. He was real and with you, that’s all you cared about.

“My baby girl,” he whispers and presses a kiss on your head and hugs you tighter. “I missed you so much,” he whispers while he rubs your back and caresses the back of your head as he cries quietly. “There was never a moment that I didn’t think of you and your sister.”

“I missed you too,” your voice sounds muffled. “So so much. Dad,” you pause and pull away, but keep your hands on his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Hopper sighs and cups your face to quickly rebuttal against your apology. “What are you sorry for?”

“Everything.”

He huffs and shakes his head, “you did nothing wrong,” he corrects you. “Nothing.”

You swallow thickly and huff out to smile at him and try to whisper what you haven’t told him. “I forgave you. A long time ago, I wanted to tell you, but you…you didn’t come back.” You sniffle and grin. “I love you dad.”

Your father scoffs and shows off his grin before he pulls Eleven and you into an embrace. “My little Valentine’s,” he whispers and presses a kiss on the top of your heads.

You exhale shaily and hold onto them tightly.

Now.

Now your heart was really at ease and content.

You proceed to pull away again to look up at his head and then back at his face to tease him. “You stole her look.”

Hopper and Eleven chuckle before he answers. “That’s what I said.”

“It looks good,” you compliment him and then go a bit serious though. “But how did you make it out?”

“It was the Russian’s,” he scoffs. “But it’s a long story. I’ll tell it later okay?”

You nod and let out another breathless chuckle before you clear your throat and glance over at Steve wandering the living room, and then focus back on your dad to continue speaking. Albeit this time in Russian. “<How terrible was prison?>”

Hopper blinks and parts his lips from surprise and bafflement, while Eleven giggles and Steve just rolls his eyes from where he stood.

You on the other hand notice your fathers confusion and scoff in amusement before continuing. “<Can’t say I blame you, but you don’t understand me do you?>”

Your father sighs and chuckles. “What? When the hell did you learn Russian?”

You scoff and don’t hesitate to show off. “I said how terrible was prison and I asked if you understood. And well it’s been eight months, I was bored most of the time in California so I just said why not.”

“And because you wanted to be a show off,” Steve interjects.

You scoff but smile. “I am fluent now. Almost.”

Hopper huffs out but can’t help his proud smile, before he comments on the man standing in the far end of the room. “So Harrington, are you just going to awkwardly stand over there?”

You all look over at your boyfriend while he slowly turns around to face the three of you with a nervous look. “Just given you guys time.” He swallows thickly and meets your gaze before he makes his way towards you to greet your father. “It’s nice to have you back, Chief.”

Your fathers eyes narrow and his hands slip off yours and Eleven’s shoulders. “I’m not a Chief anymore.” He scoffs and goes serious. “Joyce told me about you and my daughter.”

Steve goes stiff and nods. “Yeah, yeah, me and y/n are together,” he reveals, making you smile.

“So you grew the balls to ask,” your father chuckles, snapping your eyes up to him and making Steve stammer.

“Wh-what?”

Hopper steps away from Eleven and you, to step toward Steve and offer him his hand.

Steve looks at you and then at your fathers hand before he meets his gaze and shakes it.

“Thank you,” your father says and leaves you stunned. “Joyce told me a lot. Thank you for looking out for my girls.”

Steve scoffs and they both pull their hands away. “Of course. I love y/n,” he says without fear. “She’s important to me. She needed me, I was there. Always.”

You walk over to Steve’s side to just look at your father’s face. And you’re surprised to see him smiling.

“Well, thank you,” your father says again.

Steve sighs with relief and nods, letting Hopper share one last scoff before he grabs Eleven by the shoulders and walks her outside, whilst you face Steve and can’t help but show off your growing smile.

“You won’t be able to stay over anymore will you?” Steve asks and sighs.

You shake your head. “I don’t think so, but,” you swallow thickly. “If you still want, once I graduate, we can still move in together. Sound good? I’ll talk to my dad after all these emotions of him being alive pass.”

Steve smiles and nods in agreement. “Yeah. That sounds good. Now let’s get outside, he likes me, I don't want to get on his bad side already.”

“Maybe I get to be the ninja now,” you laugh while you walk out. “Hmm?”

Steve rolls his eyes but he doesn’t turn down your suggestion. “Okay. I’ll pick you up.”

“Sounds good. Twelve thirty?” You ask discreetly.

“Yep.” He whispers and nods.

Steve and you walk out of the cabin, and you instantly head towards your father when he pulls away from his embrace with Mike.

“I should thank Joyce for going on her business trip,” you say as you watch Eleven and Joyce talking.

Your father nods and draws in a deep breath. “About her,” he exhales and looks over at you. “We need to talk.”

You look over at him and nod slowly. “Okay. Well there’s a lot we need to talk about actually.”

“Yeah,” he agrees and then goes serious when he catches the scars around your neck. “What happened?”

You draw in and deep breath and part your lips to add something, but all you let out is your breath of air since the sound of thunder rumbling in the sky cuts you off.

You wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but then some white particles begin to fall from the sky. When you reach your hand out to catch one, you notice that it doesn’t melt in your hand.

“What,” you mouth and then look up at the sky to see that the dark clouds that suddenly began to invade the sky seemed to be coming from somewhere.

Everyone noticed that and without saying anything, you all walked out of the forest that surrounded the cabin to walk out to the grass hills.

And that’s when you saw it, the black clouds, and black smoke that rose from the ground and brought red lightning. You saw glowing red gates in the distance that cracked the ground, and the dead grass and flowers that lay beyond you.

But…it’s supposed to be gone. Max is alive, this can’t be happening again.

How is it happening again?

You let out a shaky breath and share a concerned look with Steve, as you slowly interlace your fingers together to grab ahold of each other’s hands for comfort from the tragedy brewing before you.

“I told you,” a familiar evil voice suddenly sounds in your head. “Y/N. You can’t run away from me.”

A/N- BAHHH!!! I can’t believe we have to wait again!!! Thank you though! Thanks to everyone who kept up with this series! Thank you and I love all of you! The next season is still a long ways away but I hope, I really do hope I get to finish this series! Thank you again, bye for now! ❤️❤️

Tagged- @felicityofbakerstreet @mserynlarsen @m-blasterrr @lookalivesunshine-x @slvtherinseeker @mochminnie @beepbeephargrove @peterwandaparker @train-wrecc @truthdaze @ioonatv @leahseclipse @preciousbabypeter @cevans-winchester @criminalyetminimal @ttae-yong @distinguishedmakerpandapatrol @geeksareunique @addisonnie @khaylin27 @seolaseoul @tomspidertingle @tye-dyemango @hehehehannahthings @gyros-cum-sock @the-local-toast @goldenvespa @naughty-koala07 @whore-for-murdock @jallerentrags @honey-with-tea @milkiane @roseabelle21 @obesesseddd @walkin-in-hawkins @ilovewomen711 @lqveharrington @thepowerstoner @guichu @reymaybe @earthtostory @xstormiii @a-vvenger @f-artsmella @hawkeyeharrington @holymusicalmothman @hcloangcls @mortallyspookyglitter @a-avengerparker @mxltifxnd0m @natrualartesianmemes @pissbabybitchboy @bethii1

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reidsnose · 3 years

Text

love letters

overview: spencer has a wonderful idea after finding out that reader had never gone to her senior prom

genre: fluff fluff fluff

a/n: i mixed two ideas that have been sitting in my notes app for this lol but i think its sweet!! i wrote it a little rushed and definitely not bc im not getting a prom this year due to miss rona👀 LMAO but as always please lmk what yall think ab it :)

masterlist

the idea had fully occupied his thoughts the second after the words left your mouth.

it was "the buttcrack of dawn" as you had called it, though spirits were high on the late jet ride home. it was a rare but much needed positive end to the case, and everyone was happily chatting with each other. since the case was involving high schoolers, the subject fell on prom. everyone went around sharing their prom stories one by one, recalling awful dresses and questionable dates til the questions turned to spencer.

"what ab you, pretty boy, what was your prom like?" morgan asked, still smiling widely from recalling his own.

you watched spencer shift uncomfortably for a second.

"i uh..i never went to prom." he stammered, a tight lipped smile on his face.

"no! you just dont wanna tell us!" prentiss cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"i graduated high school when i was 12! why would i have gone to prom?" he reasoned.

"you had to have gone when you were older or something! everyone has!" jj countered.

"thats not true, i never went to prom either," you defended, subconsciously inching closer to spencer.

before anyone could even ask you to explain why, spencer got the idea. he mentally left the conversation after you gave your answer. he spent the whole rest of the ride home and the next couple of weeks brain storming and planning.

and casually after work one day, as he was walking you to your car, he asked you if you wanted to hang out with him that weekend; at his house.

you and Spencer had hung out before, but mostly at your house or at coffee shops; he didn't invite people over very often.

of course you agreed but you grew confused when he told you to dress fancy.

you raced home afterwards to raid your closet, looking for any fancy dresses you may have stuffed in there.

spencer spent the whole day preparing his apartment. he put up streamers and balloons. he made a playlist of all your favorite songs. and then he rushed to get his clothes from the cleaners.

and when you knocked at his door the breath that left your lungs struggled to come back after he opened the door.

he stood in a gorgeous suit, different than he had ever worn to work. he rubbed the back of his neck and gestured to the living room, revealing the adorable (albeit poorly made but its the thought that counts) decorations.

"um.. welcome to prom," he said, turning back to you, revealing a blushy smile.

he tried not to stare too much at you, but it was difficult. your eyes sparkled as you stepped inside and looked around. and the dress you were wearing fit you so gorgeously he truly couldnt take his eyes off of you.

"spencer, i..." you trailed off, enchanted by what he had done.

"sorry if it looks bad. or if you think its weird that i did this. i just thought cause neither of us went to prom maybe you wanted to have a little one with me? yeah now that i say it out loud maybe you hate it im sorr-" he rambled behind you.

you turned quickly to him as he got lost in his words, eyes glued to the floor. cutting him off by wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him as tight as you could. you could feel the tension leave his body as he melted into the embrace, returning it gladly. he doesn't like to be touched by anyone really, except for you.

"i love it. thank you," you whispered, giving him one last squeeze before letting go.

he has a spread of snacks lying out on the coffee table which he has mooved to the corner of the room to make space for a makeshift dancefloor.

he turns on the music and you two start talking and dancing and laughing. two fools with four left feet completely and obliviously in love. well, oblivious the the other anyway.

a slower song came on, an old one that you had wanted to slow dance to ever since you were a little girl. and somehow naturally you two came together, his hand dropped to your waist, the other delicately cradling your own. your other hand found its way up to his shoulder, feeling as though a magnet was pulling you two closer. and closer.

he looked absolutely stunning. the soft lights he had strung around the apartment sparkled like stars in his eyes; its was...dizzying, in the most incredible way.

unbeknownst to you, as you stared at the stars in his eyes he was looking at his whole world that he had been somehow lucky enough to hold in his arms.

he held his arm out, allowing you to spin and when he pulled you back both of your arms ended up wrapped around his neck, and his around your waist. you were less dancing now and more...hugging. with your head pressed to his chest, he hoped with all his might that you wouldn't be able to hear his hammering heart. you most definitely could, but it was calming to know he was as nervous as you were. you smiled, listening more to his heart than the music he had played for you.

you were both sure that you could burst from pure bliss. the song ended a little too quickly for either of your liking and reluctantly you let go of each other. and suddenly Spencer was hit with the realization that he forgot something.

"oh my gosh," his eyes widened as he looked around the room.

"what?" you asked, mirroring him and looking as well.

"i can't remember where i left your corsage! i was gonna give it to you at the door but i forgot!" he exclaimed, running around the room checking shelves.

you smiled to yourself. he got you a corsage!

"ill help you look" you decided.

"please do," he chuckled.

"i thought you had an eidetic memory, shouldn't you know where you left it?" you joked, shooting him a smug smile.

"y/n, my brain was all jumbled to day and it wasn't just from being around you," he realized what he had said and quickly turned back to the shelf he was looking at, "could you check in my room please?"

his heart was racing at his own stupidity; how could he just say that so nonchalantly? he had been planning to tell you that he liked you for the longest time he cant afford slipping up and having it be anything less than perfect.

you slipped into his room, your cheeks warm from the idea that you make his big brain all jumbled. he probably didn't mean it like that, you were just looking too much into it.

you sighed as you crouched to look under his bed for it. you found a small wooden box that you slid out from underneath. it had your name on it.

is it normal to keep a corsage in a wooden box? you wouldn't know, you never went to prom.

you shrugged your shoulders, "i found it spence!"

with out thinking you opened the box, except instead of a band of flowers you were greeted with letters, all addressed to you. there were annotations written in the margins with purple ink. you furrowed your eyebrows as you scanned the various letters.

dear y/n,

today you complimented my glasses and my heart skipped a beat. thats dumb spencer dont start like that

dear y/n,

im in love with you. too forward

dear y/n,

you make life worth living. shes gonna think youre a creep

you felt a rush of euphoria fill your chest. did he really feel these things for you? your thoughts swirled in the most wonderful way. a wide smile broke across your face, butterflies running rampage through your stomach as you reread his words. his words addressed to you.

"oh thank God i really thought i lost-oh. oh no." spencer started as he walked through the door of his room immediately walking back out. you followed, blinking your watery eyes at him. "i can explain.

"i think youve explained enough, theres like 20 letters in here!" you chuckled, flipping through them.

"i didnt know how to tell you and i dont want to ruin what we already have and i-"

"it wasnt too forward." you stated, grabbing one of the letters.

"what?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"in this one," you held up the letter, "you wrote dear y/n, im in love with you. and then you crossed it out and wrote that it was too forward but i dont think it was."

"youre not mad?"

"mad? spencer ive been trying to admit the fact that im in love with you since i realized it myself, why would i be mad?"

"youre..you feel the same way?" he looked back up at you, a hesitant smile pulling on the corners of his lips.

"more so," you beamed, stepping closer.

he wrapped his arms around you, "thats good or else the rest of this prom would have sucked."

you chuckled, pulling him impossibly closer to you as another perfect song played.

ultra mega super cool taglist

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc @sydnee-kom-spacekru @sydneekomspacekru

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loremaster4aot · 3 years

Text

Armin Arlert *NSFW*

armin x reader

warning: NSFW, masturbation, wild sexual fantasy, sexting

modern AU

armin thinks about his girlfriend late at night and decides to text her

armin usually falls asleep right after he texts you a sweet good night. but ever since he closed his eyes he cant fall asleep and rolls from one side to other. he checks his mobile because he has early online class tomorrow and an hour passed since he tried to fall asleep. he has sunday midnight stress in him.

he even tried imagining scenarios with you, but this made him even more awake and his imagination havent satisfied him. he wants it to be more intimate. men are visual creations and he's no exception. he takes mobile into his large hand.

a text pops up on your homescreen. its from armin.

,,y/n, are you awake?"

,,yeah, is something wrong, armin?" you replied

this made you feel worried about him. armin doesnt usually text you after gn messages and he sleeps pretty early. this time he took time with reply. you've been wondering what was he doing during that time. has he texted you and then fell asleep?

sound notification made your heart stop a beat for a second.

,,this is so embarrassing, but i cant fall asleep and thinking about you made me more awake" he wrote

this brought butterflies into your stomach. it was so sweet of him to think about you. a smile appeared on your face. his reply made you confident and you wanted to know what exactly was he thinking about so you responded boldy.

,,what kind of things have you imagined ?" you wrote.

then you became anxious about what he might reply.

,,you beside me right now. i want you here" he replied in a few seconds

,,and...how much I'd love to touch your beautiful body" he sent another text

you felt your head heat up. it was incredibly red. if he'd look into your eyes right now, all of blood in your body would go into your head and made it the reddest thing in the world. is he horny?

you wanted to spice things up so you wrote:

,,where would you touch?"

this was risky to send even though you wanted to really know what he'd do to you if you'd lay by his side at the moment. where would his gentle cold hands with such slick fingers rest?

,,firstly your soft hair, then I'd slide to your neck and finally take your breasts to fit my large hands"

oh my god-you thought to yourself. is this the side of armin he'd been hiding deep inside himself for so long?

he began splashing you with perverted messenges:

,,y/n i want you to be wrapped around me"

,,please, you have to be only mine"

,,i want me to be buried deep inside you"

,,i wanna taste every inch of your sweet skin"

,,I'd lead your hand to my dick"

you went along with his messenges. it made tight knot in your stomach

,,armin, id do anything for you. even in bed"

armin was stroking his member in his hands and imagined you taking him into your warm mouth. he was faster and faster with every new message from you. finally he reached his climax and squirted his hands and looked grossly at it. it was too much. tripple the amount he usually releases. armin felt regret overwhelm his mind. he hated himself for this and felt awful, getting himself off while texting you dirty stuff.

,,y/n im sorry. so sorry" he wrote apology

,,im so disgusting and pathetic"

,,i dont deserve you. im twisted for doing this. forgive me. please dont hate me for this" armin begged

why is he apologizing? you loved every letter of his messages.

,,are you kidding? i love you, it makes me happy to help you please yourself "

,,now, would you mind showing me the mess you made?" you demanded

he send you a photo of his hand, full covered of his warm white cum

,,hot. but I'd be happier if you'd paint my body next time" you teased him

seeing his load on himself made tighter knot in your stomach. it all came from him. it's his. part of him you want to taste.

,,I'd clean your pretty fingers with my tongue if I'd be with you rn" you continued

armin blushed as his member started to get hard again. he texted you to come to his house immediately. you, of course, didn't decline.

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marigold-doms · 4 years

Note

Omg you should do one reaction where you explain what they would do (;3)/what their reaction would be to having a s/o with an hourglass figure (big tits and ass). A shout out to all my curvy sisters 💋💜

Admin Mika: AHHHHH i LOVE this🥺Im not a curvy girl because im lowkey build like the letter ‘i’ but RESPECT and love all types of bodies~💕 i dont like thinking that they’d judge anyone for what type of body type they have, so NONE of the members will ever say anything negative about anyones appearance. NO BODY SHAMING HERE GUYS. sorry this one took me so long! I was bombarded by requests and didn't get to actually start writing this~ hope you enjoy love🌻💕

|| ATEEZ reacts || to their curvy⏳ s/o

Hongjoong:

It's a lot to handle for this smol mans

BUT THAT DONT MEAN HE WONT MAKE IT WORK

I HAVE FIRM REASON TO BELIEVE HONGJOONG MARVELS AT THE SHAPE OF YOU ⏳

“What?” You gaze at him, turning away slowly, starting to feel conscious.

Hongjoong back hugs you and kisses the side of your face.

“I’m just so lucky to have someone as gorgeous and as sexy as you.”

Seonghwa:

He's never the type to tell you anything negative about the way your body looks.

praise and body worship

THE DESIRE IN HIS EYES when he looks at your body

It would be so evident that you cant help but get... wEt

In facttt, he loves you and your body so much that he feels threatened when someone looks too long- possessive and protective much...

Seonghwa will constantly touch you— your hair, your shoulders, your hands, your hips— just to reassure himself that your stunning body is his

Yunho:

The body gotta match the hands👀

Yunho is not at all the type to care what body type his s/o is.

The fact that he loves you is ALL that MATTERS

Honestly, i don’t have much to say about yunho.

He seems like a very positive and bright person

More along the lines of:

“I hope that I’ve told you a million times how I love how your waist fits in my hands baby.”

Yeosang:

Yeonsang would either

A) be flustered just from how gorgeous you are

Orrrr

B) show concern whenever you don't eat as well as you normally do

Just because he loves your figure so much

Yeonsang, the cutie he is, would use his drone to send you little notes throughout the day whenever he notices you being down about yourself

"Hey gorgeous, how did someone so pretty end up with me?"

Yeosang would never fail to lift your spirits

San:

ALL THE MORE TO HOLD AND ALL THE MORE TO LOVE

He would LOVE cuddling with you

You'd be like a big shiber to him 🥺

But San would also love smacking/holding your ass

Even when you're just standing around, looking at your phone or cooking

He'd walk by, admire you for a few moments, and hug you from behind— one hand resting on your butt

"Hey baby, whatcha doing?"

Mingi:

*SMACKS BOOTY*

"This is all mine."

Obviously that’s when he’s being a little jealous baby but we’re talking about the CURVeS here.

Mingi def catches himself drooling a bit when he watches you change...

You turn to him, trying to get your jeans over your thighs and booty, he just can’t help but get you out of them again.

“Yeah, no.” Mingi finds the waist band and guides it down your legs. “I can’t resist when you tempt me like this, Babygirl.”

Wooyoung:

Wooyoung. Oh wooyoung.

His man can PRaISE you when no one is around to watch him simp.

He is completely heart eyes for you.

Hear me out...

SHOWERING WITH HIS MAN??

Oh you bet he’ll take you into his hands and feel along your soft flesh, making sure to kiss up your entire body.

Praising each part of you to make you feel special.

“Know this, sweetheart.” His intimate eyes peer up at you. “If i could, I’d devour this delicious body of yours every single day.”

Jongho:

This man will not stop telling you words of affirmation

And just how much he loves you and your body

Jongho would be the type to always pick you up and hold you, despite you getting flustered and telling him to put you down

Just because he feels so much pride in the fact that he's strong enough to do things that make you happy

“I just love carrying you in my arms.” He smiles into your hair as he twirls you around.

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illfoandillfie · 3 years

Note

please give me Anything himbo roger i need this like perhaps... him being obsessed with eating pussy? pls? - cloud anon

I’m so so so glad you requested more himbo rog because i love any excuse to write him lmao. This is a bit of a long one, certainly well over blurb length but what are you gonna do. I just have a lot of thots where himbo rog is concerned and then there was that convo a little while ago about dressing him in a maid uniform and I had to use it in here.

warnings: smut, hypnosis & bimbofication, dom!reader, fingering, pegging, oral sex (f receiving), hand job, a little bit of spanking, a little choking, a very brief mention of public sex, free use (perhaps leaning ever so slightly into consensual non consent), humiliation and degradation

Blurb Advent: Day 15

Future Management Series (all my bimbo/himbo writing)

Taglist: @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini

The costume shop was quiet when you entered it, one of the fluorescent lights at the far end flickering. The lady at the counter looked up from her magazine, her gaze lingering on Roger for a moment before she looked back down.

“What was the theme again?” you asked Roger as you flicked through a rack of women’s costumes.

“The letter M,” he replied from one of the other racks.

“How did Freddie pick that?”

“Dunno, you’d have to ask him. Bigger question is what are we going to wear.”

“What about Mickey and Minnie Mouse?” you shrugged.

“That sounds easy. And we’d look cute as fuck.”

“Sorry, hun,” the woman at the counter piped up, “Sold out of them two days ago.”

“Rats.”

“Mice, love,” Roger teased poking his tongue out as he went to check out another row of costumes, “We could make them from scratch I suppose.”

“Left it a bit late though. We’re meant to have them by Saturday.” You headed to the counter in the hopes that the woman there would be able to speed things up, “Do you have any other costumes starting with M then?”

She sighed as she were being interrupted in a very important task before putting down her magazine and pulling out a binder full of lists of stock. Flicking through it she located the section with M. An awful lot of it had been crossed out.

“How many people are invited to this thing? And do they all shop here?”

He shrugged as he joined you at the counter, “Roughly half of London if his last party was anything to go by. What are our options?”

The women smiled at Roger, her attitude becoming much friendlier now that he was involved, “Not a lot I’m afraid. We’ve still got a Mummy, as in Ancient Egypt, ummm, a Maid, as in French, Marilyn Monroe, Mary Poppins, a Monk, Mrs Clause, Medieval Princess…”

“Looks like you’ll be easy to sort out,” Roger said to you, “not much in the way of mens costumes though. I’d be an alright Mummy I guess,”

“Sorry, should have specified. It’s a women’s costume that one. Very sexy,”

“How do you make a Mummy sexy?”

“Strategically removed bandages. I can show you if you like,” she said this last part to Roger, suggestion dripping from every word.

“What about the Monk?” you suggested.

“Ehhhh,”

“Beggars can’t be choosers Rog.”

“Alright, it’s the backup idea. Would I be able to fit in any of those other costumes though?”

The woman thought about it, giving Roger a once over as if measuring him with just her eyeballs, “The Maid maybe. Think we should have one large enough.”

“Alright I’ll try that.”

“And I’ll go Marilyn Monroe?”

“You as Marilyn? Oh there’s a joke in there somewhere…something about How To Mary A Millionaire?”

You shook your head at him, “Just go and try on your dress,”

It was a good thing Roger had no qualms about cross dressing because the maid outfit fit perfectly. One look at Roger’s legs in the short, ruffled skirt had your mind whirring with ideas. He bought both your costumes, adding in a maid’s headband and fishnet stockings for himself and a blond Marilyn wig for you. And on Saturday night you watched him don the outfit once more, struggling to keep your hands off him. Without you knowing, he’d gone and bought himself a pair of simple black heels, explaining that if he was going to do it he might as well do it properly. Unfortunately for you they just emphasised the shape of his legs in the fishnets and made his hips sway as he walked.

The party itself was fun but you constantly found yourself zoning out, thinking about what you’d like to do to Roger before he got out of the dress.

“Love?” he asked, making you blink yourself back to the thumping music and loud voices, “You alright?’

“Fine,” you nodded.

Roger frowned and grabbed your hand, leading you away from the main throng of people, “You’ve been zoning out all night, are you sure you’re okay? Haven’t had too much to drink or anything?”

“No, it’s fine. Someone lit up a joint before and I must have breathed in some of it without meaning to.”

He gave you a look like he knew there was more to it.

“Also, maybe I can’t stop thinking about trancing you in that dress.”

“Oh,” his eyes widened and if it hadn’t been as dark as it was you would have seen a light pink stain creeping up his neck. He glanced around and then pulled you off down the hall and towards an even quieter spot, “and um, what might that look like?”

“I don’t know, got a few ideas,” your breath hitched as Roger pushed you into a dark corner of whichever room you’d ended up in, “like the idea of you on your knees. Bet I could see your arse if you leaned forward enough.”

Roger attached his lips to your throat, oblivious of if anyone else was around.

“Maybe spanking you or edg – ” you were cut off as Roger kissed you full on the mouth, his hands already working at getting his underwear and stockings down far enough to get his dick out.

“We’ll continue this conversation at home,” he said as he lifted you up, pushing your back against the wall as he moved your underwear aside.

It took a couple of days for the topic to come up again but Roger was still just as into it as he had been at the party. He’d clearly been thinking about it too because he had almost as many ideas as you did and for a week or so you discussed it on and off. It came up intermittently, sometimes a single idea out of nowhere.

“What if you tranced me and made me think I was your maid or uhhh servant? Maybe like acted really strict? Or mean even?”

“What about I get a bell to ring to get your attention but use the hypnosis to condition you to get hornier when you hear it?”

Or sometimes it was more of a conversation with each of you building on what the other said.

“What do you think about exploring that free use thing we talked about a few months ago? Like me just having you how I want and when I want.”

“Would that require a more extended hypnosis? A whole day maybe? More?”

“No I don’t think so. I mean, maybe longer than the usual couple of hours. An afternoon? Not longer than a day though, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that to you.”

“Then yeah okay, we did agree it sounded hot in a non-hypno way so mixing them together should work. Um, what about that pegging thing we tried?”

“You wanna do it again?”

“Yeah I think so. Again, it was pretty hot last time so doing it while I’m hypnotised can only be better, right?”

“Are you sure? We’re both pretty new to it.”

“Yeah I’m sure. I really enjoyed it,” he laughed nervously, “and I would have suggested doing it again anyway, this just seems like a good excuse.”

By the end of the week you had a pretty solid idea about what you were both looking for from the scene and what you’d both feel comfortable doing. And you arranged it so you were both at home on Friday, free to spend the morning relaxing and the afternoon playing.

After an early lunch in which you made sure to mess up the kitchen, Roger went and changed, once again putting on the dress, fishnets, hair piece and shoes. Only this time he wore one of your thongs, sheer black, underneath and a butt plug you’d picked up for him, complete with a pink jewel on the end. For your part, you dressed in one of your work outfits with a grey pencil skirt and white blouse, hopeful that it would make you seem more authoritative. Roger did a little spin for you when he was dressed and then sat in one of the kitchen chairs so you could talk him down into his trance. The scenario you’d agreed upon had him believing he was your silly brainless maid, hired to do whatever you asked. The sound of your bell meant you had another task for him, but it also made him extra horny. So horny in fact that he’d have trouble remembering what he was meant to be doing. As you dropped him deeper and he relaxed more, you noticed his legs spreading further open, making you laugh to yourself. Finally you rang the bell to wake him.

Roger grinned at you from the chair, “What can I do for you Ma’am?”

“Your first job of the day, Dummy,” you said, putting on a stern voice that left no room for argument, “is to dust off the bookshelf in the living room. It’s filthy up there.”

“Where?”

“Through this doorway,” you pointed and he dutifully stood up and began to walk toward it.

“You’ll need a duster,” you reminded him.

“Oh! Of course, Ma’am. Umm….”

“In that cupboard,”

Roger nodded, cheeks pink with embarrassment and retrieved the feather duster.

You followed him out to the living room, watching his skirt bounce with each step. He started off with the shelves at eye level, humming to himself as he brushed the duster over them, but soon had to move on to the shelves higher up. You perched yourself on the couch, acting as if you were reading though your eyes were on Roger, watching as he wobbled on his tip toes, his skirt riding up. You rang the bell and Roger jolted, looking around for you as he bit his lip.

“Yes Ma’am?”

“I think you might need to stand on a chair, Dummy. It doesn’t seem like you can reach the top shelves.”

He nodded and hurried to retrieve one, nearly running in his haste to please you.

The chair was a stroke of genius on your part. It gave you a good view up his skirt as he happily continued his dusting, especially when he leant over to get the far end of each shelf without moving his chair. You could clearly see the pink jewel every time and it made you eager to get him onto the next task. With another ring of the bell Roger jumped down to the ground and hurried to ask what he could do now.

“My shoes,” you said, pointing at the heels on your feet, “they need polishing. I want you to spit shine them for me.”

Roger blinked at you.

You clicked and pointed at your shoes again, “On your knees. C’mon, I’m not paying you to stand around and look pretty. Lick my shoes clean.”

“Yes Ma’am, sorry Ma’am,” he bowed his head and dropped to his knees where he stood, crawling over to you.

“Good Dummy,” you said as he trailed his tongue over the toe of your shoe. You’d wiped down the shoes earlier just to make sure Roger wouldn’t pick up any germs from them, but he was too brainless to notice they were already clean, enthusiastically licking at them. You made it clear you were watching him closely though. Midway through the second shoe you saw him brush his hand over the front of the skirt and stopped his shoe shining.

“I’m sorry, Dummy, is this making you horny?”

“Yes, Ma’am, it is,”

“Show me how much,” you wiggled your shoe under the hem of the skirt and pressed it lightly up, rubbing the toe against his crotch, “Hump my shoe, Maid.”

Without any more encouragement he began doing exactly as you’d asked, dragging his clothed cock along the top of your shoe, letting his eyes shut as he bit his lip.

“Alright, enough.” You pulled your food free and held it out in front of you, “Is it my imagination or did you make a mess on my shoe?”

He tilted his head to the side.

“I think you’re so fucking horny you’ve got precum all over my shoe. Is that right?”

“I don’t know,”

“Well,” you grabbed him by the hair and pushed him over the streak, “clean it up and tell me.”

Roger whimpered as you pulled his hair to move him where you wanted but thanked you for helping him and confirmed you were right. After that you felt he deserved a reward so you readjusted yourself, pulling your pencil skirt a little higher up your legs before you rang the bell again.

Roger groaned quietly at the sound, his breathing a little harder than before and then sat back. His eyes fell to where your skirt was gathered against your thigh as you crossed your legs.

“What now Ma’am?” he watched closely as you recrossed your legs, “Is there something else you’d like me to lick?”

“I don’t know. Is there something else you’d like to lick?”

He nodded, eyes still firmly on your thighs.

“Aren’t you just a pathetic little slut.”

“Am I?”

“I’m afraid so. Do you understand why?”

Roger nodded, still staring at your crotch, and then shook his head.

“Oh Dummy. It’s one thing to be my good little maid and eat me out when I tell you to, it’s entirely different for you to ask to do it. Do you see how slutty that makes you?”

Roger tilted his head and then shook it.

You tutted at him and knocked the bell as if on accident.

He whined at the sound.

“Crawl to the dining room. I want you to wash the floor in there.”

“But…please? I want to lick you soooooo bad and I’d be so good at it.”

“Careful, Maid. Now crawl.

“Yes Ma’am.” Roger dipped his head in apology and began crawling to the next room.

You stepped around him to retrieve a bucket of water and a cloth, placing both on the floor of the dining room where he stopped, “You know what to do.”

He looked at the bucket and back to you, confusion written all over his face.

With an exaggerated and exasperated sigh you handed him the cloth and, taking hold of his wrist, plunged his hand into the warm water. He gasped as you then wrenched it free and dropped it to the floorboards.

“Scrub.”

He nodded, looking mildly upset and dragged the cloth slowly over the floor.

You watched for a little while before coming up behind him, “Put your back into it, stop being lazy.” you pressed his upper back with your foot to make him bend forward.

His neck and face were bright pink, though it was hard to say whether it was arousal or embarrassment that was making him flush more. He did as you asked though, scrubbing the floor harder. You stepped behind him again, admiring the view and occasionally reminding him what you expected. After you felt you’d watched him struggle enough you stepped up behind him again. He pushed the cloth harder, expecting another reprimand. Instead you trailed you hand over the curve of his arse, pushing his skirt up higher.

Roger stilled, though you heard him whine softly into the floor.

“You’re doing a very good job, Dummy.”

He gasped when you suddenly spanked him but he pushed his arse back against your hand.

“You want another?”

He shook his head but kept pressing back against you.

“But I think you do,” You gave him another spank, “Now keep being good and see if you can earn some more.”

He nodded and smiled, though there were tears in his eyes, and then returned to scrubbing the floor.

You let him go for a while, stepping out into the other room to calm down and get ready for the next part of the plan. You could feel your wetness pooling in your underwear with how turned on you were at ordering Roger around and how much he was enjoying it. Originally you were going to make him wait to get you off until after you’d fucked him but perhaps you could have your cake and eat it too. All the same you headed to the bedroom to gather the strap and dildo you’d bought when the topic of pegging had first arisen between you. You grabbed them and the lube and then put them down again as you considered your next move. The conclusion you came to was that there wasn’t much point having a desperate bimbo toy if you were only going to deny yourself. Roger came as much as he wanted when you were the one under his influence, so why shouldn’t you do the same. You quickly shimmied out of your underwear, and then picked everything up again, dropping it on the couch in the living room on your way back to see how Roger was getting along. He was still scrubbing though he’d spilt some of the water as he’d moved the bucket, the top of his dress wet in patches. You pulled out one of the chairs, standing in front of it as you rang the bell, and watched as Roger squirmed at the sound.

“What can I do for you Ma’am?”

“Come here.”

He immediately dropped the cloth and crawled towards you.

“Good Dummy. Need your fingers to make me feel good.” You rucked your skirt up and dropped onto the seat, placing one leg up on the table.

Rogers eyes lit up and he leaned forward as if to lick hungrily along your slit.

You grabbed his hair and held him back.

“Ma’am?” Roger whined, struggling against your grip with his tongue hanging out, desperate to reach your cunt.

“I said fingers, slut.”

Roger whimpered again but brought his hand up, trailing his fingers along your slit.

“That’s right Dummy. You’re gonna finger me and make me cum and you’re going to keep your eyes up here so I know you’ll behave yourself.”

He nodded rapidly, his eyes on yours, “You’re wet,”

“You know how much I like watching your cute little arse work. C’mon, finger me,” you instructed, waiting until he’d sunk one digit into you before continuing, “Love seeing you with that pretty plug. Makes me want to use you.”

“Ma’am can I…?”

“I didn’t say you could talk. Focus.”

Roger’s eyebrows furrowed as he pulled his finger out and pressed it back in.

“You look confused Slut. What’s the matter?”

“Is this good?”

You smiled indulgently at that, half convinced he’d been about to ask to eat you out again, “So good Dummy. Add a second finger.”

He did as you asked, automatically curling them against you as he pulled them out.

“You’re such a good, obedient servant.” You relaxed back into the chair, letting Roger find a good rhythm.

He was quiet for a bit, concentrating, and then “Can I lick you now?”

You made a tutting noise, “I thought you understood your position.”

“Pos-tition?”

“I guess I have to explain it again then. I don’t care if you like licking cunt, this isn’t about you. You’re my maid. Your job is to serve me however I want, remember? I don’t care if you want something different. You’re mine to use how and when I want. Those were the conditions I hired you under, do you understand?”

“Yes Ma’am,”

“Are you sure? Then why haven’t I cum yet?”

Roger kept his eyes locked on yours as he sunk a third finger into you, pumping them faster and bringing his other hand up to rub your clit.

“Better,” you managed to get out, though it was much breathier than you’d intended.

Roger poked his tongue out between his teeth as he put all his energy into pleasuring you. You let your head drop back, rocking your hips in time with his thrusts as he sank his fingers deep into you, his other hand firmly occupied too. He slid his thumb between your lips and up to circle your clit, spreading your arousal over your cunt. The mixture of sensations sent you over the edge without too much delay, your legs clamping shut to keep his hand where you wanted it until you’d come down. Afterwards you made Roger hold his fingers up, cleaning them off with your own tongue. He whined and pouted as he watched you lick up your juices, so desperate to taste you for himself. You gave him a small concession though, grabbing his cheeks when you were done to force his mouth open. He looked confused as you brought your face close and spat onto his tongue, your saliva tinged with what you’d just licked from his fingers. But he thanked you with a big smile and a small hum of satisfaction as he swallowed it.

“What now Ma’am?” he asked softly, sitting up straighter and glancing at the bell.

You bumped the bell against your palm as if in thought, watching Roger wince with each ring, “The kitchen needs a tidy up. Go in there and wipe down all the benches for me, okay? I’ll be back soon to check on you.”

Roger nodded and walked on unsteady legs back through the house. You followed him, needing to point him in the right direction a couple of times, and then continued on to the living room to collect your supplies and remove your skirt. It took you a little while to figure out the harness. Last time Roger had helped you get set up so doing it on your own was a little confusing. You took a breath and reminded yourself you were a smart and capable woman and that you could figure out a simple sex toy on your own, and eventually got it on right. When you were comfortable you popped open the lube and spread more than you thought you’d need along the shaft of the toy. It still felt a little bizarre to look down and see a penis, even if it was obviously fake. The first time you’d tried it on you’d wondered aloud if the work you did for those living rough would have been easier to achieve if you had a real one and Roger had suggested you wear it to work one day and find out. You’d laughed at how ridiculous that was and the memory made you chuckle again as you double checked everything was in the right place.

Roger was in the kitchen when you arrived, standing at the bench with a cloth in his hand, humming to himself, though he seemed to have forgotten what he was meant to be doing. You stepped behind him and ran your hand up the inside of his thigh, over the stockings.

The humming stopped and he stilled, “Ma’am?”

“Bend over.”

He did as you asked, his chest and arms leaning on the bench.

You felt him up, letting your hands roam under his skirt, brushing over his cock and along his thigh and over his arse, making his shiver and whine. “Good thing this dress is so short, Dummy. Makes it so much easier for me. And it makes you look like a slut. You’re very hard by the way, does that mean you like it when I tell you what to do?”

His voice was soft when he spoke to the bench top, “Yes, Ma’am,”

“That’s good because I like telling you what to do. And you should be happy to know that I’m wet from watching my brainless maid working all day.”

“I am happy!”

“You are?”

“Mmhmm. Maybe I could help you Ma’am, I love cunt so much.”

“Aww Dummy,” you cooed, stroking your fingers through his hair, “That’s sweet of you to offer but it’s not what I want right now,” you took the fishnets in both hands and tugged until a rip formed right along the back, “For now I want you to stay bent over for me so I can use you. Just like I talked about before, remember?”

“When you said I’m yours to use how you want?”

“You do remember! Good boy!”

“And you said, ummmm,” he gasped as you moved his underwear aside and began slowly working the plug out of him, adding lube to make it easier

“Go one, what else did I say?” you asked as you pushed the plug back in, fucking him with it, adding more lube as necessary.

“Umm, you said they were the,” he stretched out the word as he thought hard, “oh! The co-com-bit-ons and that its, umm, my job to serve you?”

“Very good! That was so much to remember, I’m very impressed.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, Dummy. I think I’ll have to give you a reward for remembering it all so well.”

Roger looked over his shoulder at you, grinning, “Thank you Ma’am,”

“Alright, turn back around, I’m still going to use you. Because….?”

“Because I’m yours?”

“Good boy,” you pulled the plug free and placed it on the bench beside you. Squeezing some more lube onto your fingers you began spreading it over his arsehole.

“‘s cold,” he said softly to the bench.

“I know baby, but it won’t be for long. And I gotta make sure there’s enough so that I don’t hurt you. And then you’ll be all ready for my cock.”

Roger nodded, flattening himself on the bench as you lined up the tip of the dildo and slowly sank into him.

Roger made a high pitched keening noise and you reached out to stroke his hair again as he adjusted.

“You okay, baby?” you asked letting the stern act drop for a moment.

Roger nodded, “yeah, ‘m okay. Just feels funny.”

“But good though?”

“Mmhmm. Good.”

“Good. I want you to like it. It’s more fun when you do.”

“I do!” as if to prove it he pushed his hips back, making you sink a little deeper.

“I can see that,” you laughed, “I’m gonna fuck you now, okay Dummy, and you’re going to enjoy it, right?”

He nodded, whining as you pulled your hips back slowly and then thrust forward again, figuring out your rhythm and adjusting to the sort of muscle movement it required. As you got more comfortable with it you let yourself be a little firmer, grasping Roger’s waist and fucking him harder, drawing more gasps and whines and moans from him. You varied your speed, sometimes faster and sometimes slower, keeping Roger from knowing exactly what you would do next (and giving yourself a break every so often). He’d taken your instruction to enjoy it to heart though. His fingernails scraped along the top of the bench as he tried to ground himself, rocking his hips back against you whenever you slowed.

“I want you to cum, Dummy. Rub your cock through your pretty sheer panties.”

“Th-through?”

“Over your panties.”

“Um,”

You stilled your hips and pulled out of him so you could grab his hand and lift his skirt, placing his palm over his cock, “now rub.”

He nodded, swallowing hard as he began to stroke himself. His hand stilled as you plunged into him again but a warning word made him remember what you wanted and he shakily followed your orders as you fucked him hard.

“How does it feel, Maid, being used for my entertainment?”

Roger babbled something incomprehensible in response. You couldn’t tell if it was just noise or if he’d been trying to form words but it was hot either way.

“C’mon, show me how much you like being my pretty little fuck doll. Be the pathetic little slut I know you are, and cum.” You panted between the words but Roger didn’t seem to notice or if he did he didn’t care. It must have sounded authoritative enough because a few seconds later he was moaning, his fingers twitching and legs shaking as he came. You slowed to a stop and replaced the dildo with his plug again before fixing his underwear and smoothing down his skirt.

“There, all pretty again,”

“Thank you Ma’am,” he sighed.

You patted his head, “Finish up cleaning off the benches in here and I’ll have another job for you.” You walked off, releasing a long breath once you were out of his hearing.

In the time it took you to get out of the harness, put your skirt back on, throw the dildo into a sink of hot water and relocate the bell, Roger achieved very little. He hadn’t moved from where you’d bent him over though he had stood up and grabbed his cloth again, drawing circles with it over the benchtop. When you came back to get him for his next job he was shifting from foot to foot.

“What’s the matter, Dummy?”

“Nothing,”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded though he didn’t meet your eye.

“Tell me.”

“My panties…”

“Aww, is it a bit uncomfortable?”

He nodded vigorously.

“Well maybe I can distract you.” You rang the bell and watched as his eyes glazed over and his hips jolted. “The bed needs to be made Dummy. Go on, off you go.”

He nodded and hurried off, his heels clicking against the wooden floorboards, his step awkward as he squirmed in discomfort. You followed him and showed him where to get a clean sheet from, watching as he pottered around the bed pulling off all the bedding, throwing them into a pile on the floor. Putting a new fitted sheet on the mattress seemed to be too hard a task though. It was almost cartoonish how much he struggled, placing the wrong corner of the sheet on the wrong corner of the bed and then somehow repeating the same mistake when he tried to turn the sheet around. He wouldn’t stand still, uncomfortably dancing around in his cum soaked underwear, getting more and more frustrated as the corner he thought he’d got on flew up when he tried to fit the next one. Every so often you jangled the bell under the guise of getting his attention to give him a helpful tip or reprimand him for taking so long, but it had the added effect of turning him on more than he already was, his face flushed and his eyes begging. You let him continue for a few minutes and then, when he next turned in response to your bell, you surprised him by pushing him onto the mattress.

“Ma’am?” he asked, voice trembling as you positioned yourself on his thigh and pushed his dress up.

“You made such a mess before, didn’t you? Ruined your panties and I’m afraid it’s spread to your pretty dress,” you showed him the patches on the inside of the skirt from where it had rubbed against the sheer fabric of his knickers and been stained. “Lucky for you I like messy little sluts. And” you palmed him roughly, “I think you like it too. Already hard again?”

Roger shook his head but tilted his head back and whined.

You placed your hand over his throat, “Don’t lie to me, Maid. I can see it; I can feel it. You’re a dirty little slut who gets off on being my property. My dumb little fuck doll.” You punctuated the last sentence by grinding against his thigh with each word, squeezing his length through his stained underwear. “I’m going to make you cum again now and if you’re good I might see about letting you eat me out. I did promise you a reward earlier,”

“Please,” Roger whimpered, “I’ll make you feel so, so good.”

“I know, Dummy. But not yet.” You squeezed his throat at the same time you rubbed your hand over his cock, choking off the moan that had begun to build. Roger squirmed under you as you wanked him off, cooing at him about how pretty he looked and how wet it was making you. Each stroke along his shaft was accompanied by a breathy whine or moan, his head tilted back and his eyes fluttering shut. It was always fun to watch Roger be pushed towards release when he was tranced. It was fun when he wasn’t hypnotised either but there was something about taking his brain away that made him more animated and vocal. He babbled at you again, his hand grabbing your wrist as he got closer, his back arching as he tried to buck his hips up into you.

“Good boy, good Dummy,” you praised him as he finished, able to feel the warmth of his release fill the material again as you kept stroking him, milking every drop you could. He whined loudly as he became more sensitive, but you kept toying with him until tears began leaking from the corners of his eyes.

“Alright, Dummy, stay there while I take my skirt off.”

Roger remained lying where you left him, so you gave him a soft kiss and wiped away his tears, praising him a little more, before you swung your leg over his face and finally let him have what he wanted.

It was as if you’d told him he’d won the lottery. He just about cheered as he thanked you repeatedly and then wrapped his arms around your thighs to pull you down onto his tongue. You had to stick out an arm to try and steady yourself as he devoured you, excitedly tracing your lips with his tongue, sucking them into his mouth. He hummed and whimpered against you and used his hands to encourage you to rock yourself against his mouth, spreading your wetness across his face. At one point, so giddy with joy, he giggled, and you jolted at the bizarre tickling sensation of his breath. But that just seemed to spur him on as he licked and sucked every inch of your cunt he could reach. You weren’t sure if his end goal was to make you cum or if he just got very excited and enthusiastic about pussy but, either way, the result was the same. It was impossible to hold back your release as his tongue slid along your folds and his lips latched onto you. He hummed as you gasped and tensed above him, refusing to stop until you pried his hands from your thighs and let yourself fall back to the bed. He pouted as if he wanted to throw a tantrum at having his favourite food taken away, but you managed to make him smile by telling him how incredible you felt and how good he was.

He let you lie down next to him and listened quietly as you talked him out of the trance, reminding him who he was and the reality of your situation. You waited as Roger opened his eyes, stroking his hair back from his face softly as everything returned to him.

“Wow,” was the first thing he said, “That was,” he cleared his throat and pushed himself to sit up, “that was something.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, a very fun something,” he hurried to clarify so you wouldn’t worry, “I take it you enjoyed yourself too?”

You laughed and nodded, “Definitely. This is going to sound bad but I like being mean to you.”

“I get it,” he leaned over to kiss you softly, “I like being mean to you too.”

“And the pegging and free use stuff? All of that was okay? How do you feel now?”

“Oh, better than okay. That was brilliant. We’re definitely playing with them more in the future. Bit sore now and I really, really want to get out of this thong. Also take the plug out.”

“I can arrange that. D’you want some help with the plug?”

“Yes please.” Roger shifted onto his stomach, trying to relax so you could peel off the underwear and slowly wiggle the plug out of his arse, “Add these knickers to the list of ones I’ve ruined though.”

“That’s only cause I get such a kick out of making you cum in your pants.”

He hummed, wincing a little as the plug slipped all the way out, “y’know one of these days I’m going to wake up from a trance and decide to gag you with whatever underwear you made me destroy while I keep eating you out. I still have a bit of a lingering need to have my head between your legs and I do so enjoy overstimulating you.”

“Save that for a special occasion,” you laughed, giving his bum a tap to let him know he could roll over, “C’mon, shall I run us a bath?”

Roger nodded and let you pull him up, kissing you softly before he stood on slightly wobbly legs followed you out of the bedroom.

#my writing #my blurbs #or rather #my fics #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor smut #roger taylor imagine #lord have mercy #i need to lie down for 12 years after this #Anonymous #blurb advent 2020

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shattered-catalyst · 3 years

Text

Intro to OCD for the RPC part 1/?

This is a balmy 6 page document on the VERY BASICS of OCD by a person who has had OCD for over 15 years and knows their shit.

If you want to write a character who has OCD this series is going to be a good starting point. If you dont know much about OCD I encourage you to read it so you can be an ally to those of us who have the disorder.

OCD is made into a cultural joke and when there isnt the ‘Obsessive Cat disorder’ bullshit its an angst off with other people and their non-ocd intrusive thoughts. Its different. Do your research and be an ally.

This will cover the very very basics. The next post will look into subtypes of OCD and how those are experienced.

Whomst can write it?

Literally anyone as long as you

● Do so respectfully and not make a mockery of the disorder and the harm it causes in peoples lives

● Dont make OCD the characters single thing or boil them down to it entirely ● Do respect the experiences and opinions of muns who have the disorder if they have concerns about your portrayal.

● Dont milk it for angst - unless you have OCD in which case release some of your angst.

● Dont try and say you know what intrusive thoughts are because they have *insert any other neuro a-typical thing here*

● Dont police how Muns who have OCD choose to portray it. Its our experience not yours. I like to write out my characters OCD as I experience OCD so my experiences are different from other muns. OCD is very diverse in its effects but always ask if you arent sure.

. What isnt OCD?

● Cleanliness or organization- OCD is NEVER an adjective.

● Planning/ Hypervigilance/Organized/Methodical

● Turning light switches on and off, unplugging things (find out more on later time)

● “I have to organize my pencils otherwise it bothers me” “ I have to make sure my mattress is straight” “ my nails have to be the same length” are all typical responses from people WHO DO NOT have OCD.

● Making sure objects are lined up neatly

● Having things go in a particular order like the letters CDO as the joke goes

● Really loving Cats, Corgis, or Christmas; if you own any of these items i urge you to reflect and also send me 10$ (jk but do reflect)

The Barest minimum

Google OCD this will be an advanced version of OCD. This will be long but if you want to be aware of others or want to write the character you will read it.

OCD is made of Obsessions. Triggers. Anxiety, Compulsions/Rituals.

1. Obsessions are the thoughts

2. Triggers are the object/person/image/situation/smell ETC

3. The Anxiety occurs is at uncomfortable levels to the point of panic or anxiety attacks

4. Compulsions or Rituals are performed

*There is a variant of OCD called Pure O. In this individuals have the obsessions triggers and anxiety but there is NO compulsion or ritual. This is still valid OCD.

Obsessions are the precursors to the flawed unwanted and harmful intrusive thoughts:

Im going to use you so you really understand this because its important.If you misunderstand this you are basically encouraging a mental health condition and dont get a sticker for reading this far.

First check out this link as it has ALL the subtypes and examples.

Obsessions can be hidden by the intrusive thought and teasing them out can be difficult to do if you have the disorder because well its a disorder okay thats why. It boils down to ‘i could harm someone’ ‘i could cause harm’ ‘ i may have accidentally harmed ___’ ‘ i may accidentally harm’ etc

This is the flawed powerful belief that predate the Intrusive Thought.

Intrusive thoughts appear in every brain on earth. They are not special or unusual however intrusive thoughts with OCD get stuck in the brain- meaning they stay there no matter what you do. So yes , they are different from intrusive thoughts in other conditions.

The thing about OCD is that it latches on to what you hold dear; it may be you are a caring person and love children and animals- your OCD would give you intrusive violent or sexual thoughts or images. These are horrible to experience. They are not welcome nor appreciated and there is no benefit or positive side to having them.

If say social justice is something you hold dear your ocd may take the form of intrusive thoughts of slurs, jokes, visuals etc. These are horrible to experience and lead to high levels of anxiety and are not positive nor beneficial to have in any way shape or form.

Maybe you would not harm someone or you value others; your OCD may present as graphic intrusive images or thoughts around poisoning, stabbing,accidental..ly murdering (yeah you read that right), hitting, insulting etc someone else

I must emphasize this because it is critical that people understand POCD: for the sake of those of us who have OCD read this until its burned into your brain.

This is the fucked up awful Obsessive thought that you are/were/ or could be sexually attracted to children. This is NOT pedophilia. People kill themselves over this because they are afraid that these intrusive thoughts are true. People isolate themselves and dont have families out of fear of harming a child. People take work in different fields or avoid areas with children out of the absolute terror their obsessive thoughts could be true. This is NOT pedophilia. There is NO attraction present.

Most people who experience POCD intrusive thoughts would rather punch a sharknado than even THINK of hurting a kid in any way shape or form. That is why the OCD does its thing it is like having an abusive brain.

Again for clarity's sake

If you value social justice -> the intrusive thoughts violate social justice stuff

If you value animals -> intrusive thoughts come up with harming animals

If you care about the protection and safety of children -> POCD

Triggers would be the situation, scenario, object, person,creature, context etc that is related to the Obsession. It can be literally anything.

What follows is a hell of a lot of anxiety that can range anywhere from discomfort to full on panic attacks.

Everyone has different intrusive thoughts and everyone experiences different amounts of distress upon being triggered.

● As a side bar. Do not ever try and expose someone to their triggers or write about a character being exposed to their triggers as a way to help ‘cure them’ or ‘expose them’ to ANYTHING. What you are doing is literally taking someone with a mental illness and shoving them into a breakdown and thats a piece of shit move. Exposure therapy does exist and is done by professionals TRAINED in ERP. My parents did this a lot and I am positive I am not alone in that experience.

Compulsions or Rituals: Now you may be saying ‘hey i know what those are’ yeah dude me too and I have had ocd for over 15 years and trained in mental health for 7 and guess what. They teach ya wrong.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object.

This can be as passive as ‘i am leaving the room’ ‘ i am checking my body sensations’ ‘ i am trying SO HARD TO HEAR MY HEARTBEAT’ .

It can also be repeating the same thing over and over. To illustrate this I once mentally chanted the same song lyric line on a 3 hour plane ride because otherwise we were all going to die. I took one for the whole team.

It can be somatic things like counting your heart beats, focusing on your breathing, swallowing, staring and not blinking for so many seconds.

It can be readjusting clothing until the seams fit. It can be checking god yes checking IK its a common trope but it IS a compulsion that has ruined my life and can be as passive as checking my reality or texting for proof my cat is still alive. It can also be checking yourself for assurance you wouldnt do the intrusive thought or that the intrusive thought isnt going to happen.

Compulsions are mentally painful and sometimes physically painful;

● Washing your hands with scalding water for 5+ minutes can lead to horribly dry and cracking skin to down right BURNS.

● If you do the same movement you can mess up joints and ligaments. So if you pray constantly you may have knee issues from standing and kneeling.

● If your compulsion has you doing movement against an object ie say gripping and regripping something you get callouses.

● If you compulsively exercise you may get trapped doing something above a healthy amount or say going from not working out to running a five minute mile and wiping out on a treadmill because your brain demanded it. Totally didnt do that...

● If your compulsions make you rub against any object you can get friction burns and scars.

To put this in perspective 15 years of compulsions have left my hands and finger joints a complete mess, damaged my arm tendons, friction scars on my arms that only now faded, and scars on my legs from doing too much of an activity.

Its not lmao I gotta fix these pencils its real agony and real torture.

In short compulsions and rituals are not fun they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder.

OCD disrupts relationships with social components such as ;

Obsessively checking in with partner/friend if things are ‘okay’ (this feels horrible to do too fyi like you KNOW things are fine but you cant NOT because the anxiety is SO BAD),

Relationship OCD is a WHOLE category itself! this ties into sexuality OCD where your obsessive thoughts prey on your sexuality (regardless of your orientation), your relationship, cheating or being disloyal etc.

OCD causes significant withdrawal from others, fears of being a monster, intense guilt over intrusive thoughts, disgust with yourself over the intrusive thoughts sometimes leading to self punishment.

OCD leads to strange behavior which more often than not leads to bullying and ostracization. To exemplify this I have an intrusive thought that I have stolen something when I am inside stores, my check-check-check-check-check-recheck! of my pockets gets me store security called so often its criminal.

OCD limits activities that may expose them to triggers or influenced by intrusive thoughts ie: not being able to take the train to work or only getting off at bus stops with even numbers.

OCD impacts where they spend time, who they associate with, what jobs they take or even if they have a family or not

OCD leads to overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, and fear over having intrusive thoughts or images that they experience which causes them to socially isolate or have difficulty in social situations.

OCD leads to Hyperfixation: like a lot of other things but thankfully it is just hyperfixation and not different from other diagnoses.

OCD leads to rigidity or structured routines: I have listened to the same CD in my car for 5 years now. Every single day. 5 Years.And Im not okay with that.

OCD impacts standards we hold ourselves to and others: its like regular perfectionism but like add on 5 extra layers of anxiety!

OCD according to NIMH statistics

1.2% Occurrence among US adults

2.3% Lifetime Prevalence among US adults

34.8% Of Adults who have OCD suffer moderate impairment to daily functioning 50.6% of Adults who have OCD suffer serious impairment to daily functioning

OCD has strong co-morbidity with the following:

Tourettes Syndrome- is a genetic friend of OCD and if you have tourettes or OCD your chances of having someone else in the family is high

ADHD

Autism

GAD

Eating Disorders

Depression - this is a big one along with low self esteem because of the intrusive thoughts

Writers like to make jokes about characters “being OCD” well now they have clinical OCD and you should consider fleshing out your character with this information just as you would any other disorder.

Batman (DC)

Riddler (?)(DC)

Domino (Marvel)

Cyclops (Marvel)

#this took a lot of emotional energy and i am now terrified

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helianthus-tarot · 2 years

Note

Hi Julian!! I'd love to jump onboard your latest game please 💫

Details as follows!

1. GL 🌷

2. Future spouse; he/him/male

3. #1 Communication style!

4. Overall my communication style is very dual; cheerful, excitable, and rambling, or calm, plodding, even. The former being when I talk about something I'm interested in and/or with close friends (I cannot shut up and just wait for words to pour out my mouth without thinking where the train of thought is going lol). The latter is my default mode in any other situation. My sass and cutting, sarcastic remarks are usually held inside, only to be unleashed - unwittingly I might add - when I'm tipsy. Very sensitive and conflict avoidant; any sign of it in a room makes me feel physically uncomfortable, sometimes ill. I think I come off as quite young and ditzy in person, but I love writing because it allows me the space to be very descriptive, flowery, and explore my more contemplative side. I enjoy writing letters and postcards to my loved ones; it's easier to tell them in minute detail all the things I love about them that way. I love physical touch!!!! But mainly when it's giving to others on my own terms lol like a cat 🐈‍⬛! Quality time and acts of service are what I enjoy receiving and giving on an everyday basis. Witty, dirty innuendoes are a low-key joy 🤠

5. I can see you with someone who is just as ambitious and goal-oriented as you are! Not necessarily in the same field, but competency and achievement are things that it seems like you value in yourself and in a life partner. They're the type to finish what they start. Someone who fits in with your daily routine, or your daily routines are quite compatible; there's little moments of love in the everyday. I don't think it has to be so grand all the time? So yeah they take great care of themselves and their identity as an individual, but they do so with you too. There's a sense of your own private world together, and they're not the type to be charming and flirty with just anyone; maybe they only show their nurturing, soft side to you? Like others outside their inner circle aren't privy to it and it's something most people would be surprised to know - their passionate side is like them, very intense and private. You're their weak spot?? Anyway, I'm imagining someone who is quite similar to you in terms of core values but can offer growth in areas that don't come to you as naturally 💕 ACTS OF SERVICE IS A BIG THING I'M IMAGINING!! AND SOMEONE WHO IS INTELLECTUALLY COMPATIBLE YET STIMULATING like y'all can talk about anything and play devils advocate! No topic is off limits!!! Anyway hahaha I hope something resonates for you here 😂

Sending all my love, and thank you in advance! Wishing you all the best with your finals!!! And that you have the loveliest holiday break afterwards!!!!! Take care, sending you the spirit of good food your way 💕 - GL (aka Sol 😘🔆)

Haha if you cant stand any sign of conflict in a room, you wouldn't stand being near me. I don't search for conflicts but some people like to nitpick me and I speak my mind. Oh yes I do like competent people and I like the idea of being someone's soft spot 💯

His voice sounds clear, not super loud but not soft either, not grating. He looks relaxed and warm when he talks, but he speaks with intention. There's energy to him when he speaks, he likes to suggest things people can do together, he is considerate and he cares about people; "let's do that?" "we can do X or Y" "do you want this?" "you ok?" but not in a submissive way. Because of the Temperance here I think he pulls back his energy a little bit sometimes. He may have more anxious thoughts and harsh opinions below the surface, but I feel like he doesn't like to stay in that energy. You may also catch him talking in a group; suggesting how people can work together, laughing and sharing stories, contributing to a get-together by carrying things or arranging food or suggesting how things can be carried/arranged, etc. He doesn't really give orders, he probably suggest more but it doesn't come across meek either. When he asks questions before he does/decides something; instead of him feeling unsure, it's just him checking in with you and being considerate. There is hopeful tint to his voice, "that's alright, we can do this instead, let's pack our bags and-- we can leave in 5 minutes?". He may also like to talk about the future, his beliefs, philosophy and ideals, things he wants to do, places he wants to go. His body language is open, but at times you may catch him looking like he's holding himself back when talking with someone- to be the bigger person. He gives me the vibe of Fe-doms, ENFJ in particular.

10 of Cups, Temperance, 3 of Wands (8 of Swords, The Tower)

I hope that resonates! Please inbox me your feedback. Thanks! [Feedback done]

#j tarot games #it doesn't feel like golden retrievers tho #not excitable or restless

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concentrateandpush · 4 years

Text

I need you.

I left the relationship when I found out I was pregnant, he never wanted kids until we were secure and I understood that, a misshap with my pills didn’t. I didn’t want him to be forced into being a father and so I broke up with him via a letter, changed my number, emails, usernames and moved out of town.

To start, it was lonely, but I was used to having a quiet life, Mom left when I was 6 and dad died when I was 14. My older sister was around but never home, so I fended for myself quietly until I met Justin, my soul mate. There is nothing I've ever been more secure in than mine and Justin's relationship.

I don’t believe in abortion, not for any religious reasons or higher motives.. I just don’t agree with it, unless it's a pregnancy that will harm mom or baby, or the mom was raped. But this baby? I opened my legs and messed up, so I'll love it with all of my heart. Luckily, money is no issue, I was left with plenty of it from Dad, which I'll be eternally grateful for.

So here I am, in my home, I've just put the last lick of paint on the wall of the nursery and I'm eating indian food. I'm due any time now, my new neighbour, Alice offered to drive me when I go into labor, which makes me feel at ease seeing as I have been having Braxton hicks.

I look at my phone and it's late, 2.18AM to be precise, but I have nothing to be up early for, so I suppose binge watching the good life is a good plan, plus baby is very active tonight. I rub my bump gently as I sip gently from the mango lassi, feeling my daughter fist bump me through my belly button, "good little girl" I smile and I lay back on my bed.

A few hours go by and it's light outside now, the birds are chirping. Naturally, I shut the curtains and crawl back under my duvet. As I crawl back in I feel a dampness between my legs, not soaking, but a dampness and I reach down to feel around. It doesn’t smell of anything really, so I just pull off my panties, get comfortable and snuggle up to my pregnancy pillow, I have peed myself a few times this pregnancy, it's not something I'm unfamiliar with.

It's when my nipples start to leak that I finally get up and accept that I probably need to get out of bed. I reopen the curtains and do a big stretch looking out of the window at the beach. As I extend my right arm I feel a stabbing pain in the lower left side of my abdomen causing my to lean onto the windowsill and lose my breath a little. I move back to the bed and sit on the edge, attempting to catch my breath.

I rub my stomach gently and get an intense cramp in my back, "shit, this is why you shouldn't go into labor on your own? Huh?" I say to myself in the reflection of my window. I breathe through the contraction and when it comes to an end I grab my robe and swing it on to knock Alice's door. Her 14 year old daughter answers with her boyfriend "what's up Luce?" She asks. "Is your mom home?" I ask and she shakes her head "No, her and dad have gone away for a few nights, are you okay?" She asks. I nod my head and walk back to my house freaking out.

I open my front door and immediately walk to my kitchen and put the kettle on, I look at my phone scrolling through names but I know nobody knows where I am. Justin.. out of everyone, surely.. surely he is the person I should contact. I make a cup of tea and walk to my island, leaning my bump on the edge as the next contraction hits, I pick up a wooden spoon and rub my lower back as hard as I can on it, it barely makes a difference as I whine and pant through the pain, but what other option do I have.

I hover over the green button for a few minutes before pressing it, knowing I could just put it down if I got to scared, Justin doesn’t know this number. It rings a few times and he picks up "Justin here, who's calling?". He sounds broken, he sounds sad.. I take a deep breath before answering him quietly "Hey, its.. its me".

"Luce? Lucy? You're fucking kidding me, you leave, 7 months goes by and you think you can call me saying it's me? Its fucking me?" He shouts, he rarely used to lose his temper. I lick my lips as they've dried up and speak back "I'm not apologising over the phone, you deserve more than that but Justin, I need your help? I need you to come help me.. will you?" I ask in a high pitched tone as I start to get another contraction. He answers bluntly "send me your address, how far away are you?". I send it via text as we speak and answer through the panting "forty minutes tops, I need you to get here quickly though, I don’t know how long I have" I manage to say with out moaning. "Are you okay? Lucy, tell me you're okay?" He demands. "Justin, I am okay, please be quick" I answer softly before pressing the red button and turning my back to the island, pressing it into my back to relieve pressure.

Twenty minutes fly by and go to my window to watch for him, sitting on the window sill. "Hang in there baby" I say softly before reaching between my legs. I'm pretty sure my waters are trickling out, you expect a huge splash to come out of you like the movies so when it happens like this you second guess yourself.

I watch his truck pull up and he gets out, looking at the window. I walk to the door, holding my robe across my belly, supporting my underbelly with my other hand. I open the door and see him stood there, his face makes me smile instantly and he looks at me up and down, seeing my huge stomach and looks back at my face. "Lucy, please.. please don’t tell me this is why you left? Because you're? You're pregnant?" He says in a croaky, emotional voice.

"I think you should come in" I say through my smile, he comes in and puts his arms around me tight, hugging me "careful" I say softly before feeling the warmth gush on my legs "there’s that classic movie gush" I laugh and he steps back "oh my god, you're in labor? Did I just? Are you okay?" He says reaching his hand to my stomach. "I'm okay, I just -" I say before realising I'm not okay, the pain intensifies greatly and I turn to my stairs and put my weight on my banister "Justin my back, here" I say pulling his arm to my lower back and feeling him work on it.

"Justin I need to get to the hospital" I say as I get my breath back and I turn to look at him. "You should have told me, I wouldn't have been mad" he says softly as he tucks my hair behind my ear. "I didn’t want to force fatherhood on you, I know how strongly you feel about waiting until it's the right time" I say gently as I sit on the staircase. "Lucy, I want to be a Dad, I want to have this baby with you of course I do, I would have loved to experience your pregnancy with you too" he says as he rubs my stomach.

I feel another contraction and shake my head "they're too close together, they're on top of each other" I say crossing my legs. I stand up and wince, holding my back before Justin supports it for me, opening the door and walking me to the truck as I pant. I sit in the passenger seat and turn to look at Justin as he gets in "I need to push" I whisper and see his face change. "Lucy the hospital is only about 25 minutes away, you can hold it right?" He says sternly as I grab myself tight and shake my head "get me back inside, I need to push her out".

Justin looks at me for a moment before shaking his head and getting out, he picks me up from my seat and runs back inside putting me on the sofa. I sit in the corner of the corner sofa, with both legs wide open and supported on either side as it parts. I reach down and try to feel my dilation but cant reach as far as I need to. Justin is fetching towels and scissors and I try to shape my body so I can feel for the head but my belly is just way too big.

He runs back in and kneels in front of me and I take a towel from him to squeeze and bite on for pushing. At this point I'm so absorbed in the pain I'm finding it difficult to focus "babe, fingers" I mutter as I pant "put them in, see how many you can fit" I manage to say quickly "Is it safe to push?" He pushes his fingers into me and I wince a little and pull my body back. "I cant get them in, I think the heads already here?" He says as he feels the top of the head near my lips.

"Mm okay, fuck" I say as I push myself back on the sofa. I start to pant as the contraction peaks and I look down at Justin, who's eagerly waiting to catch his baby. "You've got a while yet, you need to tell me exactly what's happening when it happens okay? I'm going to push" I say in a strained voice as I begin to push a little. "Gaahh" I moan as the push comes to a stop and I catch my breath whilst rubbing my bump.

"Nothing happened" Justin says softly and I nod "I just needed to practice" I answer as I push myself further back on the sofa and bring the towel to my side. I pant frantically and squeeze the towel with my hand as I push, feeling the baby move a little but not much, I look at Justin and he smiles "keep going". I push harder and my face turns a little red, I finally take another breath and push again "nnggggggg" I moan and Justin's eyes widen as he realises how much pain I'm in from the sound of my moan.

"Lucy, the heads getting closer" he says. I catch my breath for a moment and look at him "okay, okay, when you see the head move down, you can pull my lips a little further apart to give baby room. When her head is out, check for a chord around her neck and slip it over" I moan as the pain returns again "the head" I mutter as I push again feeling myself open up "aahhhhh" I scream as the head starts to crown but I cross my legs quickly to stop the burning.

Justin looks up and his eyes widen "Lucy spread your legs, the head was nearly out". I shake my head and begin to tear up "Justin I cant, I cant do this" I cry as he climbs up by me "were going to be parents, I know it hurts, but you've done so well, once the heads out were nearly there yeah?" He says pulling my leg over "I'm here" I says as he kneels again "deep big push yeah?" He says softly.

I pull my legs back to my armpits and pant ready for pushing. I accept that I'm probably going to tear, baby has measured big since the start but since that push, I felt how big her head was. I take a deep breath and press my chin to my chest letting out a high pitched scream "UUUHHHHH". I feel the need to shut my legs but keep them open and hold my breath as the head crowns fully and stops moving as I stop pushing "JESUS THAT FUCKING HURTS" I say as I cry and push my body up off the sofa, trying to relieve the pain somehow "blow on it, Justin, blow around the head, anything" I splutter as I wince.

He rubs around the head and blows a little "stop, that makes it worse, stop please, stop" I say before putting the towel in my mouth to bite down on. I start to push weakly and add more pressure, with my muffled moans coming from the towel. I pull it out and scream louder "get it out" as I feel myself tear and hear a pop with a huge gush of fluid covering Justin's t shirt.

"The chord, check for the chord" I say seeing Justin check and smile shaking his head "no chord". I lean back and breathe deep breaths, letting out sounds when I breathe out. "She looks exactly like you" Justin whispers, already besotted by her. I smile and look at him "Can you move back? And put the towel down on the floor, I need to squat to get her out" I say calmly as I lift my body to the floor, my legs wide and my bump hanging between them.

I rub my belly and lean back on the sofa "okay little girl, ready to meet us?" I smile before holding my breath and pushing deeply, letting out a guttural groan "nnggggggaaaaaaa". She moves a little and I reach down to feel around the head, feeling the warmth of the blood dripping on me. "I cant push any harder Just" I say softly before spreading my legs a bit more and trying to push again but feel no progress.

"Put one leg on the sofa and try to squat with the other one, it should open you up a bit" Justin says helping me into an almost lunging position. "Ugghhh" I moan as I push feeling myself open up slightly "Put your hands there ready" I snap at him before beginning to push. "That's it, push our baby out" he smiles as I groan a high pitched moan. "You're doing it, keep going, focus, dont let it slip" he says sternly and I push even harder to make sure this is the last one "AHHHHHHH" I scream as I feel her shoulders open me up and her body slide out.

Her cries fill the room and I slowly lower my leg ensuring that the chord is safe. I sit on the edge of the sofa and take my shirt off quickly taking her from Justin. He lays her on my chest gently as she cries and I rub her back "Oh my girl" I cry "beautiful little girl" I add as I look at Justin, tearfully admiring the both of us.

#birth #giving birth #childbirth #birtherotica

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keig-hoe-takami · 3 years

Text

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

MASTERLIST

‘Did you get in?’ Mina all but screamed down the phone, ‘Please tell me ‘rou, please!’

‘Yes, I got in.’ Ichirou replied as calmly as possible, laughing at her friends impatience.

‘YES! I’m so excited I cant believe it. We’re gonna be hero’s Chirou!’

‘I know, I’m excited too- did you talk to Kiri?’ Ichirou responded, smiling warmly at the thought

‘Not yet- do you wanna call him now?’ Mina asked,

‘We better had, I’m sure we’ve all got i-‘

As if on cue, the dark haired boy stormed through Ichirou’s door, running towards her with a huge smile on his face.

‘Kiri what are you doing?!’ The confused girl exclaimed as she was pulled into a crushing hug.

‘I did it- I got in, did you?’ Kiri barely breathed as he questioned his friend, looking around the room for her acceptance letter.

‘Yes, I did Kiri- Mina too,’ Ichirou smiled at the excited boy, holding her phone up to his face as Mina waved at him.

‘This is so cool, I think I’m gonna die.’ Kiri cried, finally sitting down on Ichirou’s desk chair,

‘Me too Kiri- Mina we’ll come see you later okay?’ Mina held up a peace sign as she ended the call, Ichirou turned her attention to the exhausted Kirishima, “This is exciting, huh?’

‘Just exciting? This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’ Kiri put his head in his hands in disbelief,

‘Sorry Kiri,’ Ichirou was excited too- the girl had burst into tears when she had opened the message from All Might- but her brain couldn’t help overthinking the next few years of her life and how hard she’d have to work to become the thing she’d always dreamed of being. She new it would be hard and she was willing to work for it but- what if in the end it wasn’t worth it? What if she wasn’t good enough for the real thing?

‘Hey,’ Kiri pulled her from her thoughts, ‘I know that face, you’re going to be fine.’

‘You’ve known me too long.’ Ichirou replied, not addressing Kiri’s pointed reassurance,

‘I’ve known you long enough to know you’re going to do great, you’ll be an amazing hero.’ The boy persisted, poking his friend in the side,

‘Thanks Kiri. You’re gonna be amazing to- better than Crimson Riot.’

‘Hey- too far, no one will ever be as good as Crimson.’ Kiri joked, narrowing his eyes, Ichirou laughed at her best friends adoration of the old hero.

‘Alright then ‘Red Riot’, lets go see Mina.’ Ichirou said, pulling the boy to his feet,

‘Hey, I kinda like that one.’ Kiri smiled at his friends attempt to make fun of him,

‘Urghh, shut up. You’re not supposed to like my nicknames.’ The girl rolled her eyes, heading out of her room,

‘Whatever you say, puppy.’ Kiri followed his friend out the door.

‘Kiri? Is that you?’ Mina shouted out to the spiky head of red hair ahead of the two girls,

‘oh, hey guys,’ The newly dyed head of Kirishima turned to look at the girls coming towards him,

‘What the hell Kiri, I literally saw you the other day!’ Ichirou exclaimed in shock, ‘What did you do to yourself?’ She brought a hand to her mouth as they finally caught up with him,

‘I dyed it. Look, just don’t tell anyone, okay?’ Kiri replied seriously,

‘Oh I am so using this as blackmail- you have to do all my homework or I’ll tell everyone you wanted to look cool for high school.’ Mina said when she finally stopped laughing at the irritated red head,

‘Don’t even think about it.’ Kiri furrowed his brow in annoyance,

‘Whatever!’ Mina stuck her tongue out at him,

‘Well I think you look cool Kiri.’ Ichirou intervened before the two declared war on each other, ‘You look just like him.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about puppy, I just wanted a change before high school.’ The boy narrowed his eyes at her, though she could tell he was silently begging her not to tell Mina he had modelled his hairstyle off his favourite hero,

‘Sure you don’t Red Riot.’ Ichirou said pointedly,

‘Oh my god guys, I can see it!’ Mina cried out excitedly as they turned the corner. The UA high school came into full view. Ichirou’s heart began hammering in her chest, her tail began swiping rapidly behind her.

‘You’re gonna take my eye out, puppy.’ Kiri winced as he was hit in the face by the strong, fluffy whip.

‘Sorry guys! I’m just excited!’ Ichirou apologised, grabbing at her tail to calm it down, Mina giggled at her friends excitement,

‘Come on, lets go!’ Mina grabbed at Ichirou’s hand, pulling her into a run as they approached the huge glass building.

‘1-A, its here!” Kiri shouted back to the girls. Unlike the other two, Kiri hadn’t stopped running when they reached the school building; his excitement had gotten the better of him. Ichirou threw him a thumbs up as her and Mina finally caught up.

‘Open it then, dummy.’ Mina said,

‘I’m kinda nervous.’ Kiri replied, looking up at the huge door,

‘I’ll open it then,’ Mina rolled her eyes, dragging Ichirou with her as she opened the door,

The sight inside was somewhat underwhelming, not that the three friends should have expected anything else except a regular classroom. Ichirou’s eyes narrowed, there was something weird about the room, a strong smell filled her nose, one she wasn’t a fan of. Cats.

A few students had arrived early including the two boys Ichirou had rescued at the entrance exam and some others Ichirou hadn’t met yet.

‘Hey! Sato!’ Kaminari exclaimed, waving the students over to him,

‘Hey Kaminari- how are you?’ Ichirou smiled at the boy as she led Kiri and Mina over to him and the short purple headed boy with him,

‘I’m pretty good- how cool is this huh?’ He replied, eyes gleaming,

‘It’s awesome. Oh, this is Kirishima and Mina, they’re my friends from middle school.’ Ichirou introduced her friends,

‘Best friends!’ Mina chimed in, giggling,

‘Well hey, I’m Denki Kaminari. Its so cool you all got in the same school- especially UA.’ Kaminari exclaimed, surprised at the luck of the three friends,

‘Yeah its totally cool.’’ Kirishima said, Ichirou could tell he liked Denki, hopefully the two would become friends,

‘Nice hair by the way, bro.’ Kaminari noted, gesturing to the spikes on to of Kiri’s head, Ichirou could practically taste the pride radiating off the boy, she shared an amused look with Mina

‘Thanks man, yours is cool too. You know, with that stripe’ Kiri replied, slightly flustered, pointing to the zigzag of black through Kaminari’s blond hair,

Suddenly, the door was kicked open aggressively, causing every students’ head to turn. The ash blond boy Ichirou had argued with stormed in, assessing the room. His eyes met Ichirou’s for a moment, a moment long enough for him to bare his teeth and almost growl at the girl in anger- seriously who was the wolf here? And how the fuck was he so angry at like 7 in the morning?

‘Woah, whose that?’ Kirishima whispered as the brash boy sat himself down in a random seat, putting his legs on the desk.

‘He was in our group.’ Kaminari replied,

‘Yeah, he called me a runt.’ Ichirou groaned. ‘But he was so good, of course he got in.’

‘Poor puppy.’ Kiri patronised, ruffling her head as he so often did.

‘Shut up, weirdo. Just don’t talk to him, I don’t like him.’ Ichirou lied through her teeth, fuck he still looked hot.

‘I think he looks pretty cute. Bad boy type.’ Mina replied

‘He’s not cute. Don’t say that.’ Ichirou whipped her head round to face her friend, becoming embarrassingly territorial, another downside to her quirk. Ichirou decided to blame it on the damn cats, making her wolf senses act up.

‘Okay, I’m sorry.’ Mina put her hands up, slyly raising her eyebrows at Kirishima, who tried unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh, having to disguise it as a cough.

‘Whatever, look more people are here, lets go say hi.’ Ichirou said, practically dragging her friends, poor Kaminari included, around the groups.

‘A quirk assessment test?!’ The whole class exclaimed in confusion, Ichirou included, it was only their first day but already they were being trialed to examine their weaknesses.

‘What about the entrance ceremony? The orientation?’ Cried a petite, brown haired girl in anguish. She was clearly feeling just as nervous as Ichirou at the thought of being tested in front of the whole class so early on.

‘If you’re going to become a hero, you don’t have time for such leisurely events.’ Their dishevelled homeroom teacher, Mr Aizawa mumbled his reply, barely looking back at the girl. ‘UA’s selling point is how unrestricted its school traditions are, that’s also how teachers run their classes.’ He continued, finally turning towards his baffled students, ‘You kids have been doing these since junior high, too, right? Physical fitness tests where you weren’t allowed to use your quirks.’ He held up his phone to reveal the categories to the students. If it was just like junior high, perhaps this is going to be easy- Ichirou thought to herself as she scanned the crowd of her fellow pupils,‘The country still uses averages taken from results for students not using their quirks. It’s not rational. Well, the Ministry of Education is procrastinating. Bakugou,’ The strange man suddenly turned to the blond dummy stood at the front of the group. Finally, there was a name to that irritating face, ‘you finished at the top of the practical exam, right? Of course he had, Ichirou rolled her eyes as other students gawked at the boy in amazement. ‘In junior high, what was your best result for the softball throw?’ Aizawa continued,

’67 meters.’ Bakugou replied, looking towards the floor,

‘Then, try doing it with your quirk.’ Aizawa suggested, the meaning of this test was becoming clear, their teacher wanted to understand how adaptable their quirks were, as well as weaknesses. ‘You can do whatever you want as long as you stay in the circle. Hurry up, give it all you’ve got.’

Bakugou began to stretch, mumbling to himself about god knows what (probably some unnecessary rude remark) before he planted his feet in position and prepared to throw the softball.

‘DIE!!!’ He screamed at the top of his lungs as he launched the ball into the air using his boisterous quirk to create momentum. Ichirou stifled a laugh at her classmates looks of shock towards Bakugou’s manner, after fighting alongside him- though she used that term loosely- Ichirou wasn’t as surprised at the fact that the boy definitely didn’t sound like a wanna-be hero.

‘Know your own maximum first,’ Aizawa said as he learnt the distance the ball had traveled, ‘that is the most rational way to form the foundation of a hero,’ He held up his phone, the screen read 705 meters. Holy shit- Ichirou may not have gotten off on the best foot with Bakugou but she could appreciate that he had an amazing quirk, no matter how much it burst her eardrums.

‘What is this! It looks like fun!!’ An astounded Mina turned to Ichirou, grabbing her by the shoulder and bouncing,

‘We can use our quirks as much as we want! As expected from the hero course!’ A black haired boy next to Kirishima exclaimed.

‘It looks fun, huh?’ Aizawa mumbled, Ichirou placed her hand on top of Mina’s as a warning, ‘You have three years to become a hero. Will you have an attitude like that the whole time?’ Mina’s face went white with the expectation of being punished on the first day of school, ‘All right, Whoever comes in last place in all eight tests will be judged to have no potential and will be punished with expulsion.’ An evil smirk plastered the tired mans face as he turned to fully face his class. Ichirou’s eyes widened- expelled! On the first day of school? Suddenly everything became more serious, eyes narrowed in determination and fists clenched, nobody was willing to just back down. The equally determined girl braced her body, tail bristling in anticipation. She wasn’t going to lose. Not yet.

Ichirou looked over to the frog- like girl crouched besides her, her now glowing red eyes narrowing as she let the possessive, competitive wolf inside of her free. Her hands braced the ground beneath her as she positioned herself as low as possible, hoping to use little energy to complete the 50 meter sprint. The shot sounded and Ichirou leapt into action, arms burning as she pushed herself from the ground, legs pounding as she raced towards the line, barely thinking as she tried desperately to stay in her lane- controlling her wolfish traits was often difficult in open planes like this, her mind begging her to run off into the distance.

‘3.76 seconds’ a robotic voice caused Ichirou to stop abruptly, rubbing at her temples in slow, circular motions to regain control of herself.

‘You okay there puppy?’ Kirishima asked, ‘Need to go for walkies?’ he jested, before noticing that the colour of the girls eyes was still red,

‘Just got to go grab my lead.’ Ichirou replied sarcastically, words muffled by her now protruding canines,

‘Hey you did really good though.’ The red head reassured her, ruffling her ears and pulling her into his shoulder, ‘Plus Mina’s up next so just chill out and watch.’

Waiting for Mina’s race to begin, Ichirou looked around at the other people who had also finished their races. Her heart fluttered embarrassingly as her eyes met a pair of flashing red ones staring right back at her, an action that seemed to be recurring, though this time, there was no baring of teeth or narrowed eyes. He was just looking at her, with such intensity it could have been a glare, but Ichirou felt her cheeks warm up again, unable to turn away. She didn’t know what to do, they’d held eye contact for so long it almost felt wrong to look away, and she knew even after only knowing him for this small amount of time that Bakugou was not one to back down from a challenge. Decisively, the girl smiled at him, fangs peaking out of her lips, feeling as if it was the only rational thing to do. Apparently she was wrong, the boys eyebrows raised into his hairline as his entire face turned almost as red as his eyes, he looked away quickly, turning his attention back to the race and leaving the poor girl completely astounded.

The rest of the test had gone well. Ichirou hadn’t come last in any of the activities so far and had won the long distance run by a mile which meant she was saved from expulsion no matter what happened. She couldn’t say the same for some of her other classmates- most importantly a green haired boy she had heard Bakugou calling Deku who had only used his quirk during the ball throw.

‘Okay, I’ll quickly tell you the results. The total is simply the marks you got from each test.’ Aizawa explained, ‘It’s a waste of time to explain verbally, so I’ll show you the results all at once. The person with the lowest total score will be expelled.’ Aizawa pressed a button on his phone and the results were revealed to the hopeful students.

Ichirou searched for her name, 7th – Ichirou Sato followed closely behind by her friends. She turned to the two with a smile as Kirishima gave a thumbs up.

‘By the way, I was lying about the expulsion’ Aizawa said offhandedly, everyone’s jaws dropped, eyes widening, ‘It was a rational deception to draw out the upper limits of your Quirks.’

‘Of course it was a lie,’ The winner of the test, Momo, said, taking in everyone’s shocked expressions, ‘It should have been obvious if you just thought it through.’ Ichirou hadn’t even noticed how absurd it would be to expel a student on the first day.

‘That was pretty nerve wrecking, huh.’ A black haired boy turned to Kirishima,

‘I’ll take up the challenge anytime!’ he replied, causing Ichirou to laugh at his new and improved manliness. Bakugou turned to her at the sound, eyebrows drawn in as they had been since Deku had used his quirk. Ichirou responded by raising an eyebrow in question, to which Bakugou turned away eyes rolling as he crossed his arms, Ichirou mirrored him, feeling equally as confused as before.

‘With that we’re done here. There are handouts with the curriculum and such in the classroom so when you get back, look over them.’ Aizawa mumbled, turning to leave his class,

‘That was pretty wild, huh puppy?’ Kirishima nudged the girl as they headed back to class,

‘Yeah, I cant believe he lied to us!’ Ichirou replied, kicking at the sand beneath their feet,

‘Hey, would you watch out!’ Mina covered her face dramatically,

‘Sorry pinky.’ Ichirou apologised,

‘It’s okay, we did really good guys! I’m so glad no one was expelled.’ Mina exclaimed as the three began walking, ‘And did you see Momo! She’s so cool, I think she was one of the recommendations.’

‘Yeah she was so good!’ Ichirou replied,

‘I wonder if she’ll be friends with us.’ Mina sighed,

‘What do you mean? Everybody likes you, we’re gonna be friends with everyone!’ Kirishima reassured as they entered the building to get changed.

tag list : @jazzylove

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border-spam · 4 years

Text

(Featuring @godkingsanointed ‘s amazing OC JK)

Mid COV

“There’s a H… there."

Seifa tapped a black nail into the paper Jak-Knife was staring at so intently their mask’s front grill brushed against the page. They let out a rumbling groan, slowly shaking their head side to side as she reassuringly patted their hand, leaning pressed against the length of their back so she could peer down at the scrawled letter splayed on the table in front of them.

"A H? Why??” they whined, cupping the sides of their head in calloused hands with a dejected sigh. Words were stupid.

It had been a long day for both of them.

Sei had only just made it to her ship after a night of red tape and managing delays in her office below. Tyreen’s Saints had incredible skill in somehow making sure their daily business ended up impacting Troy’s in some way. Missing shipments, deadlines shifted far shorter than possible with no warning, the usual shit. She’d sat for hours after her shift, gritting her teeth while pouring through their condescending e-coms, pausing every now and then to distract herself from the frustration by catching flashes of today’s arena stream.

The Blight Devil had ripped through raiders on the flickering office screen as her papers shuffled. Heretics who’d led an assault on a protected settlement and refused to repent now faced the Holy Father’s executioner, a fitting end to parasites sucking lifeblood from the isolated villages the COV kept in food and medical supplies.

She’d found them after the fight as she left her office that night, leaning silently against the elevator gate in the lower workshop that lead to her ship docked above the Mechanicum. Head bowed and tilted to the side, ankles crossed and arms folded across their chest. They were spotless as usual, arena blood expertly removed from their skin, but the weight of the fight was visible on their frame - tired and quiet.

They’d perked out of their doze as she approached, and lifted a bag filled with something hot and spicy from the Slums as a greeting. JK was always like this. They had as much an open invitation to her home as the others, but while she’d retire some nights and find Ven and Eli already smiling cheekily from her kitchen table and expecting dinner to appear now that she’d gotten home, or Troy curled up asleep in the same tiny wall cot that she’d told him was his years ago, JK never entered without her.

Always waited by the elevator with offering in hand, a gift of food or beer like an olive branch. Habit, she figured. Something from a life of survival in Pandora’s roaming clans she��d maybe never understand, but she could appreciate even though she reassured them it wasn’t needed every single time.

She could tell they were struggling to keep going now still, heavy muscle shifting under her ribs as they groaned at the letter covered in smudged ink between their elbows on the kitchen table, muttering about the rogue “H” through their mask’s respirator.

Words made no damn sense, even less when they were marked down in writing.

Bandit cant had always served JK well, icons, symbols, communication scratched into rocks and dirt and corpses with the tips of jagged blades. Writing was pointless, they’d been told that for as long as they could remember. Adults in their clan had mocked newcomers to Pandora, said their big words and fancy letters were just to hide behind. A mask without a mask, so they could pretend they were better, stronger than the salt and blood of the earth that crawled across the planet’s dusty wastes in scavenging mobs.

You didn’t need to write or read when your family could respond like a singular pack unit to bird whistles or rhythmic pounding on dry rock. Learning would be a waste of time and resources better used to serve the marauding horde.

This H was a waste. The flimsy, golden pen clutched in their calloused fist was a waste, a symbol of wealth, education, of weakness on Pandora. If it hadn’t been a gift, they’d…

“Because without the H it says tanks. Like, war-machines, you know?” Seifa laughed, pushing against them to her feet and shooting a deadeye finger gun at their chest with a silent pow as she back stepped to her side of the table.

“But gotta say, that looks like a love letter, JK” she grinned, lowering herself into her seat with an ungraceful thump.

“..She a fan of tanks?”

They huffed quietly, refusing to meet the shit-eating grin they knew she was aiming at them as she shuffled the papers in front of her and leaned back into her chair with a creak of wood.

“She likes tanks, yeah. She.. likes all weapons. All machines. Makes ‘em, fixes 'em..” they murmured as Seifa clicked her tongue in response, wolf whistling.

“Sounds like my kind of woman.”

“She’s… my kind of woman.” Jk replied through a crackling laugh, scratching the pen against the paper with practiced concentration. “She should have nice things like.. letters. She should have poems, songs.. chants… and thank you.” they looked up, catching Sei’s inquisitive gaze “Thank you for helping me.” She followed their hand, gesturing towards the paper with a blunt finger.

Sei laughed, smoothing loose hair back over her shoulder. “Don’t thank me, pal. I think if anything, I’m using you as a distraction..” she sighed, expression turning somber as she dropped the stack of papers to the table in front of her, grimacing.

“This jank is terrible.”

“Words?” they offered, lenses catching the light as their eyes followed her when she stood.

“Nah JK, numbers” she scoffed, rolling sore shoulders as she stepped towards the kitchen counter to their side. “WAY worse. Listen, want to try something gross?” the chair struggling to support their bulk squeaked behind her as JK turned to face the cupboard she was rooting through. “I got this new coffee..-somewhere.. where is..- Ahh!”

“I like coffee, sure!” they chuckled with a nod, thumping their fist onto the little table the pair had been sharing in her ship’s kitchen

“This coffee though - ” she corrected smugly “This coffee has been shit out of some horrible little monkey thing on Eden-2” she smirked, stifling a giggle in response to the barking guffaw that erupted behind her.

“WHAT” they yelled through the muffle of the mask’s filters, deep voice cracking in amusement.

Sei turned, waving the foil bag towards them playfully as she leaned back against the counter.

“I’m not joking, gift from an ore dealer me and Ven had to sweet talk into very generous trade agreements on Astrensis a month ago. I don’t know if he was trying to impress me or what, but this is basically worth its weight in platinum and it’s-”

“ - It’s shit juice!” JK gasped between rolling belly laughs.

“It’s fuckin’ shit juice pal, you’re not wrong!” she chuckled, smile wrinkling across her nose as she flipped the coffee maker’s switch, grinning softly as the clunky hiss of the machine filled the little kitchen quarters.

Jk sighed happily behind her, twisting to stare at their paper again. “Rich people are so wrong. They don’t belong, not here, waste everything. Just walking sacks of ego thinking their paper money will stop this place taking its due from 'em”. They grunted thoughtfully, then continued in a quieter tone.

“I thought you were a rich person when we first met, another off-worlder.”

Seifa turned, wide-eyed in surprise at the comment.

JK was someone she’d known for years now, but even with so many hours of quiet time together in this ship, a quiet hiding hole away from the Holy City’s heaving bustle and fame both their titles reluctantly carried, even after all this time, they rarely spoke of their own feelings in this manner. JK’s thoughts were something they held deep in their chest, opinion’s they’d share, advice they’d willingly give, but their thoughts? She wanted to hear more, it was an unusual glimpse into an incredibly interesting mind.

“You thought I was rich?” she balked, pointing towards her chest. “How? You seen the way I live?”

Their head tilted, turning slowly to glance around the cabin. Clean, homely. Plants and textiles covering cracked wall panels… repaired and well-maintained kitchenware, the coffee machine behind her newer than nearly anything else surrounding it. They shifted, looking down at the polished and well loved table, the stains and scratches buffed but still visible in the finish. Years of love and use.

They made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a laugh, tilting their head slowly to the side. “Not about what you own, Seifa. It was how you carry yourself. You’re the only person in the room till you don’t want to be, then you were never there at all. Eyes miss you.” they rumble.

“Don’t belong here. Don’t belong out there either, in the city. Covered in gold, thought you were like the others. You aren’t though.” JK hums, shifting their eyes to the scrapped together coffee machine behind her.

“..You’re like him.”

She’d laugh if that wasn’t such an insult, rolling her eyes and huffing a chuckle into her fist.

“Thanks. What a compliment.” she groaned, flashing a quick grin before lifting a finger to scratch at her jaw thoughtfully. "… I’m not rich though I fleece the twins for all they are worth, sure, but that’s just good business.“ the homemade machine behind her whistled quietly as she paused, breathing deep the acrid aroma of roasted coffee wafting through the room.

"My clan might not be called that, but it’s still what they are. We’ve a creed of support. One of us does well for themselves? Strikes it rich? Lucks a factor as much as skill. There’s 10 bad deals for every good one.. some get a real bad streak, JK.” they nodded, understand her meaning if not her experiences.

“There were times before the twins where I needed help from family, care packages and donations to keep my ship running and fuel tanks full, now I repay that debt with what I earn here, spread the wealth to others who struggle now like I did then.” Seifa shrugged, uncomfortable in sounding anything close to generous regardless of the truth. “ It’s our creed, like I said. Family first.”

Jk grunted, nodding to themself as they stared at the table in front of them, the scrunched letter in shaky lines.

“Family first..” they echoed, not quite to themself, and not quite to her either.

Family.

They let their eyes rest on the pen gripped in their hand, tilting it slowly. The solid gold barrel reflecting light the same way the gilded fangs in his crooked grin had as he pressed the box into their open palm. Troy had been so happy when he handed them the case, blushing and shifting his weight from foot to foot as he waited for them to open it. They’d not known what to do with the contents, looking back and forth between the solid gold pen and him awkwardly. Waiting for him to explain how they should react, anxiously hoping he’d guide them as always.

He’d laughed, plucking it from the case and pointing at the name etched into the bodywork.

“It’s for you, see, it’s your name like we p-practiced. J.a.k-.k.n.i.f.e, see it?” his hand had been trembling with excitement, cheeks flushed and smile squinting his eyes as he loomed over them, pressed close enough to hear his ragged breaths.

“Now when you write you’ll know I got your b-back, yeah? I’ve got your back, understand? 'Cus you’ll know that I know you can do it, and I’ll keep teaching you.”

They hadn’t known what to say, the words that felt right were choking in their throat. They knew Troy often compared himself cruelly to them, would emasculate himself by placing aspects of who they were on a pedestal then berate himself for not reaching. It was hard to communicate their awareness of it with him. He was so easily hurt by his weaknesses being recognised, it was easier to pretend they didn’t notice and insist on complimenting him when they spotted him sinking under his own detrimental thoughts. Lift him up when they saw him flag.

But this, writing? Reading? Troy was excellent at this. It was something he could help them with, and as soon as he’d realised they could do neither, he’d jumped on the opportunity to teach them. They understood it was a repayment of his own volition, even if they couldn’t understand why God King Calypso would feel like he’d owed them in any way. They were his guard. They shielded him. They didn’t need to be thanked, you don’t need to thank a brother…

Seifa waited for as silence fell between them, giving JK the chance to continue, but they said nothing, nodding almost imperceptibly as they continued to stare at the pen.

They got lost sometimes in the depths under that mask, but the people close to them understood, and it was easy enough to bring JK back into the current. Wait a moment, give them a chance to snap back, then pull them back into the conversation.

She cleared her throat to break the quiet.

“So, is this lady rich then? If she likes poems and songs… and weapons?”

It snapped them out of their daze immediately, turning snake quick to glare through the mismatched lenses at her instead.

“She… she has money yes, she works hard. Very hard. I don’t know if she even would like a poem. It’s just something.. I see sometimes on the echonet, those movies Troy watches.”

“You give poems to great women, don’t you…?” their voice caught on a question towards the end, something they weren’t wording but clearly needed an answer for.

Sei stepped towards them, reaching out to lay a hand on their shoulder as she carefully arranged the words that felt most right for them.

“Maybe..” she started tentatively, leaning down a little to meet their eyes through the mask’s glass. “..if that’s what she wants, sure. But it sounds like this woman doesn’t need fancy things, JK. Sounds like she’s plenty good at seeing the truth of what things are, huh?”

They nodded emphatically, the quiet choking sounds from under their mask emphasising their eagerness to agree.

“Thought so” Sei grinned cheekily. “Why not write how you see her then, huh? No poems, just the truth of how things are.” They rumbled as she patted their shoulder, turning back to the small kitchen to prepare their drinks.

She smiled triumphantly to herself as the welcoming sound of the pouring coffee mixed with the scratching of their pen behind her, before it was interrupted by a stern grunt.

“Seifa, how do you spell refuge?”

#borderlands #borderlands 3 #bl3 #troy calypso #calypso twins #leech lord #seifa #jak-knife #my writing #my hcs #lldrabbles

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wakandascrystal · 5 years

Text

ʀᴇʟɪᴄ

Erik x Black Reader

Summary: Erik finds an old picture of you and an Ex. He recognises him and tells you about the man that saved his life in Afghanistan .

A/N - Warning⚠, I’m going to make this as emotional as i can. please ignore any errors

🌹🎀🎈 🌹🎀🎈🩱🍑❤🌸💕 🩱🍑 🌹🎀🎈🩱🍑❤🌸💕 🌹🎀🎈🩱🍑❤🌸💕

“Are you on your way here?“ You mother asked over the phone.

“Yes, we are. We might take a pit stop and buy something, do you want anything from the shop?“ You asked polity.

“Yes, get me some milk and cookies. The ones I like. The ones they dip in chocolate.“

“Okay, Ma. No problem. We’ll be there in 20 minutes okay?“ “Yeah yeah. Is my beautiful son in law coming or are you coming with Jade“

“Ma you are on speaker!!“ You were tempted to just hang up but you knew she would kill you. Erik was of no help. He just grinned foolishly.

“Yes. The son in law is driving.“ You slurred

“Hello, Mrs Johnson.“ Erik’s deep voice filled the car

“Erik? What did I tell you about calling me, Mrs Johnson? Call me Mom.“ the was a pause

“Alright, Mrs Johnson.“

“I’m nothing going to tell you twice now. Come on Im your mama.“ Your mom pushed.

You could see Eri wasn’t ready to do that. He had nothing against your mother. He actually liked her but Erik was still working on the emotions he had with his own mother. Even though he lost her along time again the issue was still sensitive and sore.

“Okay, Mrs Johnson we are about to enter the highway so we will see you. Bye“ You hung up and sat back in the leather seat.

“I’m sorry about that?“

“Nah it’s cool.“

You didn’t believe him.

“I’m sure she didn’t mean to make you uncom- ”

“I said let’s drop it Y/N“ His voice was stern and hostile. You saw how his hands tightened on the wheel, the muscles under his skin expanding with the pressure. He was tense. You feared that your mother might have triggered him. You quickly put on some music to calm him down. You put on your favourite lo-fi playlist. You knew it would calm him down and it did.

Driving 130km/hr you rest your hand on his thigh. You wanted him to slow down, doing this was much better than telling him to slow down. Gently moving your fingers on his inner thigh he slowed down.

It was raining and Erik had no business speeding on the highway.

He was driving to your moms. He had agreed to help your mom clear out your old room and the attic. She lived in the countryside, the other side of the state but with Erik’s mustang and driving skills, he could get you there in no time.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you.“ He took your hand and kissed it.

“Don’t be, I understand.“

You pulled your hand from his placing it on his thigh again. This was the best part. When you were comfortable enough to talk and be okay with him. It took a long time to understand him, the way he showed himself and the parts he didnt want to show. It took some time to understand that Erik was more than just some nigga from Oakland. He was different.He loved differently and you were ready to be with him no matter what.

“It’s a good thing you didn’t take out your braids yesterday.“ You didn’t hear him until he nudged your shoulder.

“Yes?“ You pulled out of your train of thought.

“What are you thinking about there.“

“Nothing. I’m just sleepy.“

“You should have slept earlier. 11 o'clock is too late.“

“I had work Erik…but if somebody didn’t wake me up for some action in the middle of my sweet slumber then I would have had my eight hours.“ you folded your arms across your chest.

He was smiling again.

“What did I tell you about sleeping naked.“

“Erik I always sleep naked cause cloths tighten and roll up on me when I move ….they make me feel uncomfortable. “

“Okay ..but you could have stopped me at any time though…“

“…Fuck you right“ You laughed a bit as he pulled into a petrol station thinking about last night’s events.

You offered to go buy all the things you need for the weekend but he didn’t want you getting wet. So you told him what yall needed and he left. After a couple of hours, you were very close to your Mother’s house and Erik pulled into her driveway.

“My favourite people!“ She closed the space between her and Erik with a welcoming hug. His head fit in her collarbone. She really liked him.

Disappearing into your old room, you left them behind in the kitchen.

Your room looked the same. Nothing was changed or moved. The double bed with all your TLC, Destiny’s Child, Aaliyah, Ashanti and most importantly the Tupuk poster were still up.

You could tell your mom still came in and cleaned once in a while. There is no way your white bedding would still look so fresh and clean after 2 years and no dust. Yes, she did. You looked under your bed to find a box. It was filled with your all memories. Old letters and bracelets. Erik hugged you from behind as you looked at through the objects. You kissed him and sat on the bed.

“Look at this stuff. She still kept it.“ Erik started to look through with you.

“Your mom said we will start cleaning up tomorrow cause your tired and its late .“ You agreed while you read your high school report cards.

“I Was getting B’s and C’s like it was nobody’s business.“ you smile

Erik was interested in all the objects in the box. He wanted to know you better and when an opportunity showed itself he would grab it with both hands.

“You used to play…what the hell is this.”

You looked over him to the picture of you holding a bat.

“Oh, first-team badminton… it’s like Tennies..a bit .”

You let out a high pitch scream.

“Damn Y/N what the hell.”

“I’m sorry but look. I remember buying this lucky packet thing and finding this ring in it. Then I saw a shooting star and wished a handsome, intelligent nigga would marry me.”

“Did it work.” “Yes, it did.” You gave him a kiss on the cheek and went back pulling things from the box. A few minutes went by and you notice how Erik went quite. He was holding the stack of photographs that didn’t make into your photo album.

“What’s got my baby’s attention.”

He carried on staring at the old photographs, you lean up against him again to see what picture had his attention. It was an old picture of your ex-boyfriend giving you a kiss on the cheek. You rolled your eyes.

“Oh come one E. You know your girl was fire back then. I …was bringing all the boys in the yard.” He stayed very serious, focusing on the picture of your Ex planting a kiss on your cheek.

“What was his name?” He asked

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous…You married me ..You won nigga" You giggled

“‘I know….but I think I know him.” Your eyebrows shot up

“`From where?… His name is Flex..”

“Shit.”

“What…what’s wrong?”

“Was his surname O’Brien..”

“Yeah, I think so…It’s been so long though. After graduating I don’t know where he even ended up.“

He didn’t move, just staring at the picture.

“You alright?“ He worried you. His whole aura had changed.

“I know him…He served with me.“ The sorrow and pain in his voice made you pay full attention to him.

If he did know Flex he must have done something terrible for him to be so emotional all of a sudden. But flex was not like that. You remembered him to be soft and kind. Sure he likes to cause tribble but none that could hurt anyone.

You placed the diary you held and sat next to him. taking his hand.

“You want to talk about it.“

“Nah. It’s late you should get some sleep.“

“You sure? I would much rather hear you vent.“ He smiled

“Let’s get ready for bed.“ He left you to grab your luggage from the car. By the time he got back from the car, Your dad had arrived. He loved Erik.

‘The son I never had’ he always says. You found them in the kitchen talking about the upcoming game. He seemed much happier then he did before. He could cheer up anyone, to be honest.

“So you came to help your mother with moving?“

“Yes, Sir. Me and Y/N can handle it don’t worry yourself.“

“What do you mean me, Erik? I only came for emotional support“ You played along with your husband.

“Nah we are going to put all them pilates and squats into good use tomorrow. Remember to leave with your back.“ Both your father and husband laughed holding onto each other.

“Daddy!!“ they both looked at you. It made you smile that Erik would respond to that even if your real father was present. You fixed your face and pouted to get him on your side.

“Dad. Erik is bullying me.“

Adorable Erik though

“I’m sorry sunshine. I was lucky that Erik was free to help. You know since my back kicked in I can’t do anything.“

“-except eat my pies and cooking” Your mom came into the kitchen holding a basket of laundry.

“You got that right.” shocking her head and called you over.

“Y/N why don’t you make the table. I’ll be back to dish up the food for dinner.”

You agreed and did as told, after dinner. You all got ready for bed. For the first time, you didn’t get weird looks from your mom and dad when it was time for sleeping arrangements. Before the wedding, Erik was just some nigga trying to take advantage of their only baby but after the wedding, Erik was the beautiful, nigga angel who was sent to protect their only child from the world. It was strange, and the funny part was Erik didn’t change he was the same chilled guy. But your parents didn’t want you sharing a bed with him. The Christian side of them just couldn’t let that happen. You wondered if they ever figured out that you would just pull him from that uncomfortable, couch around midnight to sleep with you in your bed and end up fucking. It would be weird if they did.

“Before you get up and leave. I would just like to say something..don’t be shy. Do what needs to be done” You knew exactly where this was going.

“Mom please.” You begged

“I need to say this Y/N…Erik I would like to have some grandchildren.”

Erik spat out his wine. It was too funny. It seems like he had not gotten used to how open your mom was. You helped clean him up and left before she said more embarrassing things.

You started getting ready for bed. Brushing your teeth in your silky pj’s. Erik was already in bed. He looked beautiful. He only had his bottoms on, hair all the way back in 3 cornrows. He could see that you were checking him out. Even though he was scrolling through his emails.

“You want to take a picture, Love?“ You giggled. His favourite sound in the world.

“I already have a ton of them, but the real deal looks much better.“ You climber in bed with just his bed lamp on.

“You don’t say. Are you not cold?“

“No. You?“

“No?“ He gave you a kiss and laid down on his back so did you. He turned the lap off and in the silence, you asked.

“Do you think we should fuck so we can have kids ?“ Your voice was little

“What the hell“ Erik let out a laugh, his whole body shook.

“You being pressured by your mom baby?“

“No. I’m in no rush..like at all but we’ve never really spoken about it, Erik.“

“I want to have kids with you, but when the time is right. We still working on us right now. 3 years of marriage that is not a long time. I’m planning on being with you for the longest, like your mom and pops. 57 years.“

“I want to be with you for longer than that.“ You sounded corny and cheesy saying that. Erik smiled thinking you were. But you were his cheesy and corny girlfriend.

“Period…But I do want kids…I want to show them Wakanda and shit. I would love that. “ He said it confidently leaving no room for you to doubt him. ”Plus we live in a great area. They got a good school. You know his ass is practically going to live in that outreach centre. “

“What makes you think it’s going to be a boy?“ you smacked his chest.

“…what ..it could be a girl…or better twins.“

You gasped. “Like Beyonce,” you whisper dramatically.

You laid on your side so you can see his profile. The small light that comes from the parted curtains helped you see that his eyes were closed. You left for the bath. In the dead of night is when you insecurities seemed to be the most active.

They questioned why Erik liked you, why he married you and if you were worthy to even carry his children. They told you that there were much better girls out there. Who were more attractive. Who could make him much happier than you could ever? At night, when everyone was asleep. The mirror was your worst enemy but somehow the Wakanden gem on your ring fingers reassure you that you were right where you belong.

“Are you asleep?“ you whispered to Erik when you came back from the bathroom. He didn’t answer but he pulled you close to his body. Your head laid on his chest and your arm on his stomach.

after a few minutes of silence, he spoke.

“I was drafted with Felix.“

You didn’t say anything still trying to process the fact that your high school ex-boyfriend somehow knew Erik.

“You still listening..?“ You nodded your head against his chest still in shock.

“We didn’t train together but he was put into the team that left….long story short…i served with your Ex In Afghanistan.’‘ He gave a silent laugh. You felt his body shake.

“What are the odds.“ He said

“-It was crazy. I came in there. Young kid, trying to prove to everyone that am the shit. I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. He was…how do I put it…he lost his shit every time a gun went off. I guess he was there to prove he was the shit too.“

Yep, that’s definitely him. You remembered him to be funny and witty and non-violent. You wondered what made him join the military.

“His bed was next to mine. He Latino so he was super chilled and super talkative. Won’t lie he annoyed me at first but we ending up being …kinda close.“

“Omg, this that is so adorable….. I should invite him over and have like a reunion some time. I’m sure I can find him on facebook or something..“

His head shot down at you with an unreadable expression. You thought you might have offended him, maybe he thought the idea was stupid.

“Chill E. We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.“

“You don’t know don’t you?“ His voice was hollow and soft.

“Know what?“

“On one of the last days….we were coming back in 3 days. We had to patrol around the wrecked city. We had done this many times. The locals just went about their way…but that day Felix just ….he told me like 10 times he wasn’t feeling it…He knew something was off the second we left the base. And he was right. In the middle of the city, we were ambushed. ..Young kid from Oakland…I thought I was going to die. “ He gave a weak smile

“The base got word of what was happening and they sent help. We lost so many good soldiers but Felix and I made it out, as we ran out……all I’m thinking is I can’t wait to go home….but from a distance window Felix sees a sniper and jumpers in front of me when he heard the shoot….I’ve heard stories of what a Lapua Magnum bullet can do to a human body…seeing it in real life was something else..I didn’t have time to hold him ..close his eyes. He saved my life. But bet… after a few seconds I got the shoot. There was no way I wouldn’t avenge his death….right here. “

He raised his right arm and pointed to one scare on his arm… That scar was for the shoot. Erik had told you what the scars were for and it clicked. You felt heartbroken and angry for so many reasons but you couldn’t tell Erik immediately because he was still speaking. In all honesty, your brain stopped taking in information when you figured out Felix died. Your eyes water and a throbbing pain soaked up your heart. He was a good guy. He didn’t deserve that. You thought about his mother and his sister. They must have lost it when they found out. But that could have been your morning a death if Felix didn’t do anything..if he didn’t jump in Erik’s way. Maybe with how the universe works and timelines, you would never even have met Erik; that was a dark thought you just didn’t want to dwell on for too long.

Erik saw your face. The light passes him and lands on your downcasted face. You looked distressed but he doesn’t regret telling you this. Your eyes are glossy with tears that are about to fall. You stop trying to fight the boiling emotions in your chest. They are hot and they sting and they want out. You push yourself into Erik and let out a cry. On his chest, your head laid visibly shaking.

He had never seen you cry like this in the past. 6 years of knowing you and not once. It wasn’t like the crying or sobbing you did when you watched romantic anime or kdramas or when he surprises you(cause you’re easy to please). This cry was deep and dark. It reminded him of pain and devastation. He wrapped his arms around you so your parents would hear. He hated your reaction. It also showed him how empathic of a person you were.

“Can we go…” Your voice rough and small. “- Can we go see his grave?”

Erik’s face pulled up in confusion and you saw.

“Erik! He was my friend. I know …it sounds like we were was just dating and fucking…He was my actual friends and I’m so angry and hurt…I thought he was in Austria with his father. That’s what he always told me..that when he graduated he would move there…”

You wiped your tears that had wet half your face.

“-…i ..I also want to thank him…He also saved you..” You laced your fingers with his. Yours were tiny against his. “I want to thank him for that.”

Erik didn’t push. He simply agreed. He wanted to make you happy. So anything you wanted was a comrade.

You stayed in that position, his hand over your waist and your head just by his chest, He heard your body try to recover. The rain had picked up, hitting and creating a calming noise. you fell asleep in his arms grateful and depressed.

You thought about how hard destiny has been fighting to make sure Erik ended up with you. You thought about all the fights, his past, your past, the shit that went down in Wakanda, the girls and boy the nasty ass girl that wanted him. He was meant to be there. you were meant to be there. And the thought of that and the low humming of the rain sent you to sleep.

🌹🎀 🌹🎀🎈🩱🍑❤ 🌹🎀🎈🩱🍑❤🌸💕 🌹🎀🎈🩱🍑❤🌸💕 🌸💕 🎈🩱🍑

🌹Mini Tag list 🌹

@raysunshine78

@kpizzletrash

@eye-raq

@chaneajoyyy

@amethyst1993

@dessianna1

@wakandantings

@princessstevens

@theogbadbitch

#erik x reader #erik imagine #Erik Killmonger #Erik killmonger x Reader #Erik Stevens #Erik Kilmonger #Erik #blackpanther #blackreader #inlaws #erik fluff #marriage

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faunusrights · 4 years

Text

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 17

IN THIS EPISODE OF CRYING CAT GALLERY:

“Nice?” Cinder laughed under her breath once, and returned to examining her threads. “Oh, come on, Glynda. Favor isn’t in my vocabulary, remember? It’s just a shame about your cape. The emblem looked good, and your new outfit would look much better with it. That’s all.”

CINDER FALL IS REALLY BAD AT NOT BEING GAY ON MAIN

we’re bacc baby B) let’s hop right in

When Glynda awoke from her dream of being consumed,

alright calm down we’ve literally JUST started we’ve literally JUST woken up can we chill Out,

“Cinder?” she yawned, surveying the room.

sneak peek of that Sweet Domestic Life we dream of once this enemies-to-lovers malarkey reaches the ‘lovers’ bit but no we’re just surrounded by enemies. two of them being the writers!

Still, she couldn’t go wandering around Cinder’s apartment in only her underwear, but rooting through the drawers and closet didn’t seem—

STEAL HER CLOTHES BABY!!!! PRACTICALLY MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The clothes didn’t seem Cinder’s size or style; they were casual and soft, a black t-shirt and steel-gray sweatpants.

okay but the idea of cinder getting up and being like ‘do i have ANYTHING this Unit of a woman will fit into’ and like actually having to think abt it and then folding em up and leaving em there like ‘hope she finds em okay’????? peak. absolutely peak. shes so gay but does she know it? no,

The fabric had enough give to make it work, even if only barely, and she looked in the mirror to see the loungewear looking more like tight athletic wear. Funny that.

kc and diesel envisioning this: oh yes. oh YES. ohhohughohguhghuhu yessssssssss--

She had—trusted? Been trusted? She had told Cinder fragile little things, and had heard similarly earnest words in return. It had been strange. Nice.

i love glynda like. feeling out of the edges of her own comfort and Pleasant Feelings with this almost-wariness? like every word she uses to describe it just Edges a little closer to Softness but she has to taste the word first to see if it fits. her narration is SO fun 2 read yall what the shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

This was Cinder’s house. It wasn’t just any house. These were Cinder’s belongings, Cinder’s resting places, and she was wandering around without Cinder.

Voyeuristic was putting it mildly. Glynda needed to find Cinder, fast.

HJGDKJGHDFSSDF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! glynda just. losing it at such LITTLE THINGS is so goddamn funny jesus christ. this is cinders house!!! her THINGS!!! fuck she NAPS IN HERE. SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

god i love how soft this is. i know exactly why this is happening and i know exactly how [REDACTED], but i’m living for this moment. living IN it.

Spread out on the table was a wanted poster with a mugshot of Cinder on it, defaced with black permanent marker and crease marks.

cinder: yeah they didnt get the eyebrows sharp enough and im mad abt it

“Well, your clothes are in the wash.” Cinder said, turning around, coffee in hand. It was so…domestic. “It would help if you had more than one set.”

shouting from a distance: you two should get MARRIED

“You’ve been wearing the same dress the entire time I’ve known you.”

look at these lil JABS... the JESTS... the JOQUES... i cant believe theyve been married 10 years already. im also deeply enjoying how very indulgent this section is. I Am Seeing,

Glynda scoffed, and when Cinder reached for the sugar on the counter, she gave it a subtle nudge with her Semblance. It slid out of Cinder’s reach.

JESUS CHRIST LOOK AT THIS WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! soulmates.

Cinder shrugged, still looking elsewhere. “Mercury thought it was funny.”

“Mercury?”

cinder: my son and BOY. and, one day, yr son and boy, tho he won’t take it lying down.

Cinder scoffed. “You just don’t appreciate my good tastes.”

i feel like the evidence is truly stacking up to very much prove this statement wrong but u kno what lets let her figure that one out for herself

“A souvenir from the brats,” she said. “And a letter excusing the mess they made of the place.”

KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS

She said, “I just didn’t know you had kids.”

KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS

“It’s fine,” said Cinder tersely, but not harshly. “It isn’t wise to advertise in my business, so keep it to yourself.”

KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD YES that little like... indirect admittance that em and merc r basically her own kids is a fucking BLESSING from ON HIGH are you SEEING THIS SHIT????????????? we have been fed today. my crops r watered and my lambs bouncing over the green fields as we feast. what a moment. wow. what a chapter.

When Cinder finally finished hers and rose to get another cup, Glynda allowed some of her thoughts to solidify. She said, “I want new clothes.”

as a side note, i think it rly shows the strength of the writing that the feeling of the narrative can change so much, esp when u take into consideration that we jump between the points of view of TWO characters? like with cinder we’ve gone from sheer fury to gruesome sickness, and with glynda we’ve gone from Complete Dissociation to this gentle and soft morning and you can feel it absolutely fluffing up in every word! still love how good the writing in this fic is its NUTS

Cinder shrugged. Her usual clothes were still in the wash; right now, she was wearing high-waisted black pants and a loose top tucked in.

diesel i want you to know im thinking abt what u said abt the high-waisted pants mods in sims 4 and im giggling

The necklace with Glynda’s earring hung from her throat.

i didnt mention it before but this is the... second time this chapter its been explicitly mentioned? and i know we could be like ‘ah the MEANING’ but honestly im like glynda r u rly not over the bobbies y

“You aren’t dead in there, are you?” came Cinder’s voice.

“No.”

“Well. At this pace, I will be before we get out of here.”

cinder, who probably once spent 7+ hours choosing an outfit: look its only cool if i do it, dipshit,

Unsnapping the lone earring left to her, she brought it to her collar and fixed it there, under the clasped button to dangle just over her sternum.

When she stepped out of the changing room, Cinder looked up. A slow dawn of interest eclipsed the boredom on her face. Glynda stood very still as her gaze flowed up and down again, pausing over the earring.

Cinder touched the matching one hanging from her own neck, almost in surprise. She cleared her throat. Her tone was very deliberately mocking: “Cute.”

OOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD are we for SERIOUS right now??? jesus christ. jesus christ. we’ve moved on past married now this is ride-or-die shit right here what the FUCK. jesus CHRIST. theres- i- i have THOUGHTS on this matter that are spoilery and so i will SIT ON THIS EGG but HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT

“Nothing,” Cinder said, smoothing her expression into something unreadable. “I was just thinking—nevermind.”

no, no, go on, speak yr mind, please do, because if u were abt to offer to embroider that shit then PLEASE say it aloud for the audience at home

“If I was a cop, you’d already be in jail.”

“You’re welcome to try to take me in, darling.”

im sure its obvious but im BESIDE myself @ this flirting. im losing it. this is SUCH a treat and i KNOW that [REDACTED] [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“That’s because of your—” Cinder was already gone. Glynda pressed her lips together, but watched her go. Rolling her eyes, she finished, “—Grimm tattoos.”

Whatever. She could gloat about figuring it out later.

/CHOKES

WHAT

@kc and diesel: CALL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT THE FUCK

okay okay. wait. okay. wait. theres. wait. okay. i cant. am i safe to say anything. probably not. so. im not gonna. but. you WILL be seeing me in dms, friends,

okay okay im moving on im gonna. keep going. okay. okay. im going. (but i will be in dms)

there was a brief discussion of dinner: namely, that neither of them wanted to make it.

oh god why is this me

“Give me your new cape.”

“What?”

Finally looking up, Cinder said, “Your cape. Let me have it, and I’ll put your emblem on it.”

THANK YOU MA’AM AND THANK YOU FOR READING THE FIC HAS ENDED ITS ALL OVER WITH!!!!!! WE DID IT!!!!!!! WE RODE THIS WHOLE TRAIN TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!! UNFORTUNATELY IF ONLY IT WERE SO EASY.

Glynda ignored it for the time being and sent the vector of her emblem to Cinder.

i deeply love the idea of all hunters and huntresses carrying a vector of their emblem JUST IN CASE,,, SMTHNG HAPPENS,,, its right alongside the list of their next of kin and their will and testament,

Cinder Fall was a name built on Dust and money and extravagant demonstrations.

But Cinder Fall was also a woman with a family. A home. A favorite blend of coffee.

this is absolutely kicking me in the dick for reasons i cant say but also for reasons of SNOFT because oh my god. this is. like. this is why i rly vibe w. cinder in this fic and is also like one of my favourite characterisations of cinder of ALL TIME (which is why all my fav cinder fics typically have it as a Theme). shes SO good and SO dimensional and i just. god. GOD. i LOVE HER!!!!!!!!! ID DIE FOR HER!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA CINDER FALL IS MY ANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL

It felt like being told a secret, like being told a thousand secrets, and not knowing what to do with them. All she could do was hold them in her palms, delicate as she could, trying not to break anything.

GIMME ARMS TO PRAY WITH INSTEAD OF ONES THAT HOLD TOO TIGHTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /goes apeshit

And because of that, Glynda asked, “Do you have any more stories?”

Without looking up, Cinder drawled, “About Witches?”

“Or dragons.”

Gold flickered her way.

👈😳👈

“They’d already been built by the Witches that came before her,” Cinder replied. “But she’d been a headmaster at one of them, and a teacher before that.”

Something in Glynda’s chest gleamed.

lore lore lore lore LORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lets GET THAT LORE as i peer blearily thru tears,

“...You haven’t just been pretending not to remember things, have you?”

firstly: called out lmao JHGSDFKJHGFSD and SECONDLY:

“The moon?” Cinder made a face. “I’m not sure if it’s that literal. Your soul is powerful, but it’s not a physical thing. Besides, the moon is…”

“Broken,” Glynda finished for her.

“Yeah.”

hm what a fascinating thing hm how interesting hm hm HMMMM 👈🤔👈

Even as they ate, they both seemed lost in their own heads, but somehow, to Glynda, it seemed perfectly clear that both of them were wondering the same thing.

wait glynda. hey glynda. did u uh. ever. did u uh. text winter back or w

WE DID IT CHAPTER 17!!!!!!!!!!! this was a Lot (4,500 words? yall better be careful before those 10k chapters return to Haunt Us) and was also, a Lot. holy shit. theres. i. id make a spoiler edition but tbh its just the SAME SPOILER thats like. rly driving this chapter. i know what its for. i know it. i feel it. dont trust winter more like dont trust the writers

ANYWAY I LOOK FORWARD (?) EAGERLY (???) to chapter 18, unsure when the vibes will turn rancid for the worse. when. honey. theres a big storm coming.

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog #what the HELL just happened

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teacupfulofstarshine · 5 years

Text

but for just one day let’s only think about love

(a gift for my darling wife @notveryglittery!!! you mentioned wanting more fluff, and i have delivered! i hope you enjoy it, princess!)

summary: it's the eve of their big day, and roman and patton want everything to be perfect. luckily, they've got their best friends in the world helping make sure everything goes smoothly - and who could ask for better friends? (OR: an absurdly fluffy royality wedding fic written for my lovely wife dani!)

pairings: romantic royality, background romantic analogical

word count: ~5759

(cw: the briefest anxiety in the beginning, tooth-rotting fluff)

read it on ao3!

“Why did I let you talk me into wearing a white tuxedo?!”

Roman drapes himself over Logan’s couch, knocking his best friend’s newspaper out of his hands as he flops into his lap. Logan stares at him, unimpressed.

“I did not talk you into anything. On the contrary, I attempted to tell you that wearing a white tuxedo was a terrible idea.”

“Why didn’t I listen to you?!” “I have been asking myself that question since you met me. However, the reason you gave me for your current misstep was, and I quote.” Logan presses the back of his hand to his forehead and drapes himself against the back of the couch. “I have to wear a white tuxedo!” he gasps, imitating Roman’s voice and mannerisms to a truly creepy degree. “Only a white tuxedo will offset my perfect golden tan and make me appear to glow when the sunlight strikes me just so! And since Patton always calls me his sunbeam, it seems only fitting that I should be truly radiant for our wedding day! Though not as radiant as Patton of course - ah, my lovely fiancé! How have I gone more than six whole seconds without mentioning -”

“Alright, alright, I get it!” Roman grouses, shoving at Logan’s chest to make him stop. Logan sits up, adjusts his tie, and leans over Roman to get his newspaper off the ground. Rather than reading it, however, he folds it neatly.

“What is this really about, Roman?” “I’m regretting my fashion choices, Logan! Obviously, I -”

“Roman, be honest with me. It is not the suit which troubles you, is it?”

Roman sits up, clasping his hands together and leaning forward. He looks at Logan, dark chocolate eyes hidden behind his bangs. “It’s that obvious, huh?”

“Not to the average eye, perhaps. But we have known each other since we were approximately fourteen months old, Roman. There is very little that you can hide from me.”

“Geez, Lo, don’t I have any secrets?” Roman jokes. Logan rests a hand on his knee.

“Of course you do, Roman. But your insecurities, your . . . your fears should not be something that you attempt to hide, from yourself or from me. Please do not misunderstand me - I am not attempting to pry into your life.”

Roman quirks a half-smile. “I know, Lo. I know you’re just worried.”

“Tell me, then. What is troubling you? You . . . you are not getting the proverbial ‘cold feet’ about your impending nuptials, are you?”

“No! No, no, I absolutely don’t regret accepting Pat’s proposal! I - I love him, Logan. I love him so much, he . . .” Roman twists his engagement ring around his finger. “Patton is the best and brightest thing in my life. He genuinely loves everyone and everything so much, and he’s so kind and - and -”

“I understand,” Logan says. “I did not think that was the case, but it was necessary to eliminate it from the realm of -”

“What if it’s fucked up?”

Logan blinks. “I . . . I do not understand. Could you please expand on that statement?”

“I love Patton so much, Logan. You don’t even understand, I - I could live without food, without water, without oxygen, without anything as long as I had Patton with me. He’s so important to me and - and I just - what if something goes wrong tomorrow? What if there’s a hurricane? What if Emile loses his voice? What if someone drops my suit in a vat of grape juice, what if Virgil’s shop catches on fire and Patton’s dress is destroyed, what if Virgil ends up in the hospital, what if Patton doesn’t want to marry me, what if he stands me up at the altar, what if -”

“Roman!” Logan says. He shifts his hand from Roman’s knee to holding Roman’s hands, which have begun to grip painfully at his hair. “You are engaging in cognitive distortions which are sending you into a spiralling panic attack. Look at me, Ro - it will be alright. I am going to count for you.”

Logan’s voice is quiet and measured, breaths even and steady as he counts. He looks at Roman, who does his best to maintain eye contact. “That’s it, Roman. Take deep breaths. We are optimizing your oxygen circulation in an attempt to engage your parasympathetic nervous system. The process of counting out your breaths will -”

“Thanks, nerd,” Roman rasps softly. Logan smiles, squeezing his hands.

“Of course, prep.”

“I’m not - it’s not that I don’t want to marry him, Logan. It’s the exact opposite - I want to marry him so much that I’m terrified by the prospect of the wedding being anything less than perfect.”

“Realistically, nothing can truly be perfect,” Logan says. “Much of what exists in this world is inherently flawed -”

“Thanks, Lo, that makes me feel worlds better.”

“I was not finished. Much of what exists in this world is inherently flawed, and therefore striving for perfection is unrealistic. However, this does not mean that we cannot strive for excellence. I may not be able to guarantee a perfect wedding, but I can guarantee that I will do everything in my power to make sure that it goes as smoothly as possible. You are my best friend, Roman, and I will be here to support you in every capacity that I can.”

Roman laughs, once, before lurching forward and throwing his arms around Logan’s neck. Logan, knowing Roman better than perhaps Roman himself, has already braced himself for impact, catching Roman and holding him. One hand slides up to scratch the curls at the nape of Roman’s neck while the other rubs Roman’s back in broad, firm strokes. These are the motions that have been proven to be the most soothing when Roman gets like this.

“Thank you, Lo,” Roman whispers, and his voice is so choked that if he were speaking to anyone other than Logan, he would be completely unintelligible. “This - I - you - you’re my best friend, you know that, right?”

“Yes, Roman,” Logan teases. “I had assumed that was why you asked me to be your best man.”

Roman makes an indignant squawking noise. “You are my best friend, too, you know.” He feels Roman nuzzle just a little into his neck.

“Love you, Lo.”

“I love you, too, Roman. If it will make you feel better . . . I have made an Excel spreadsheet to deal with potential outcomes.”

Roman pulls away from him, snorting in laughter. “Of course you did.”

“If you do not want it -”

Roman wipes his eyes, giggling. “Don’t be stupid, I know how many hours you must have poured into that. Let’s see it, then.”

Logan can’t help grinning as he picks up his laptop. “It’s color-coded.”

“Of course it is. I’d expect nothing less from you.”

*~*~*~*~*

“Patton, I swear to whatever deity exists out there in the great unending cosmos of the universe, if you stand up from that chair one more time, I am going to yeet my fucking pincushion under your ass.”

Patton, who’d been halfway out of his chair, promptly drops back down into it, giggling nervously. “Sorry, Virge, I just -”

“You’re nervous about this dress because it needs to go well. I know.” Virgil pokes their head out from behind the folding screen where they’re working on Patton’s wedding dress. “You do trust me to know what I’m doing, right?”

“Of course I do, Virgil! There’s a reason we’re partners in Fabricadabra!”

“I still regret letting you name it that.” Virgil ducks back behind the screen, muttering to themself. Patton can only see the vaguest shadowy outline of them moving around the mannequin on which his secret wedding dress rests.

“You’re just as good a seamster as I am, Virge, I trust you to work on all of our orders! It’s just that - that you’ve never hidden something you’ve made from me before.” Patton looks at the floor, wringing his fingers together. “I know you want it to be a surprise and all that, but I get married tomorrow!”

“I know, Pats. I’m not, like, working on the seams or anything! I’m just doing finishing touches! I don’t want you to see it before it’s completely done because I want you to have the experience, tm.”

“Did - did you just say the letters ‘TM’ out loud?” Patton giggles.

“Absolutely I did, it was for the fucking -”

“Language!”

“ - freaking emphasis. This dress is the most gorgeous thing I have ever created in my life. This dress has been labored over - SLAVED over - for months. This dress contains my blood! My sweat! My tears! My -”

“Virgil!”

“Sorry, Pat, but you get my point! This dress is the most important thing I’ve ever created. It’s my best friend’s wedding dress. I want it to be perfect when you see it for the first time. I want you to see it in all its glory - I want you to see it perfect.”

“Virge, honey, you know I’m gonna love it no matter what! It doesn’t have to be a Dior gown, it’s going to be special to me because you made it! My best friend, my partner in business and in crime, my best - human!”

Virgil pokes their head back out, arching a perfectly done eyebrow. “Did you just call me your best human?”

“Well, yeah! I didn’t wanna call you my best man, cause you’re not a man, I -”

“Bold of you to assume I’m human, Patton.”

Patton laughs. “Does ‘best enby’ work, then?”

“You are too much sometimes,” Virgil chuckles, shaking their head as they duck back behind the folding screen. “You can call me whatever your gay little heart desires as long as it’s not ‘maid of honor’, Pat. I’m really not that picky.”

Virgil falls silent for a few more minutes. Their shadow moves more rapidly around the mannequin, and they alternate between muttering to themself and humming to themself. Patton recognizes about half of the songs they’re humming, and tries to sing along where he can.

“Patton, I love you, but you are so far off key you might actually be in another one.” Patton rubs the back of his head in embarrassment, fiddling with the fraying lace hemming his skirt. “Shouldn’t be much longer, just finishing up a little bit on the sleeves and the neckline.”

“How much overtime did you pull to finish this, Virgil? Have you been sleeping properly? Eating enough? Drinking enough water?”

“I have consumed the life liquid, yes.”

“Virgil!”

Virgil’s head pokes out again. Patton squints, leaning forward to see how much makeup is covering the dark circles that normally reside beneath their eyes. “Pat, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’ve pulled a couple all-nighters. But I’ve done my best to avoid them, and I have timers set on my phone to make sure I eat and drink water on a regular basis. I’m practicing self-care.”

“I’m proud of you, kiddo,” Patton says softly.

“I know, Pat. I just hope you’re proud of my work, too.”

“Virgil, whatever this dress looks like, I promise it’s going to be wonderful. You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you made it for me! And I know how hard you work and how detail-oriented you are and how super good at your job you are! I know you worry a lot about how good your stuff is, but I know it’s amazing!”

“Pat, stop, you’re gonna make me blush too hard for my foundation to cover.” “Why would you wanna cover up your blush, Virge?”

“I have an image to maintain! I am a cold and emotionless void!”

“You’re the cutest little gender-non-conforming void spawn I’ve ever seen!”

Virgil sticks their face out, cheeks and ears a bright rosy pink. “Patton, you are ruining my image right now.” Patton smiles unapologetically. “Come see your damn wedding dress already.”

“Language, kiddo, I - you’re serious?! It’s done, I can come see it now?!”

“Well, it’s as good as I’m gonna get it, so you might as well come look. Plus, I need you to try it on before the wedding to make sure you’re completely happy with it.” Patton almost trips over his own feet in his rush to get out of the chair as Virgil pushes the folding screen aside. All the air in Patton’s lungs leaves it in a single rush of breath.

“Well? You gotta tell me if you like it or not, Patty, I - Patton?” Patton’s eyes are brimming with tears, hands pressed over his mouth as he stares at the dress. The bodice is gold, with flowy, see-through sleeves of thin, delicate lace. There’s intricate needlepoint along the neckline and the waistline, with delicate floral embroidery on the bodice itself. The skirt is full and flowing, a gradation of blues. It’s so light it’s almost white at the waist, flowing into dark midnight blue at the hem, and the train is embroidered with stars and flowers. The layers of the skirt are varying colors of blue and white, and Patton is starstruck.

“You . . . th-this . . . Virgil, I . . . I . . .”

“Do you not like it? It’s too late to make, like, major changes, but I could theoretically change the - whoa!”

Patton throws himself at Virgil, sobbing openly and pressing soft kisses to their hair and cheek. “Oh, Virgil, it’s perfect!”

“You - r-really? You - you don’t think there’s anything wr-wrong with it?”

“The only thing wrong with it is that you think there’s something wrong with it! Virgil, it’s perfect, it’s everything I could ever want in a wedding dress! I couldn’t have done a better job if I’d designed it myself!”

“Yeah, there was no way in hell I was letting you design and make your own wedding dress, Pat. That would just be cruel.”

Patton hugs Virgil’s skinny little frame close to him, shaking with happy tears and soaking the sleeve of their hoodie. “Virgil, I could not have asked for a better wedding dress. Or a better wedding dress designer. I love it so much, I love you so much, I -”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I love you, too,” Virgil grumbles. They still kiss the top of his head before pushing Patton away. “Come on, Pats, you gotta try on this thing so I can make last minute alterations. With any luck, you’re only gonna get married once, so let’s go!”

*~*~*~*~*

“Where did you learn to tie a tie, the sandbox?”

Roman looks helplessly at Logan, red silk tie tangled around his hands and fingers. “That - Lo, what does that even mean?” Logan laughs, leaning against the doorframe. He’s already dressed in a tailored black suit, dark blue tie knotted snugly beneath his throat, hair neatly slicked back.

“It means that you are attempting to knot your tie with the skill and grace of a five year old in a sandbox. Was that not clear?”

“No, it wasn’t, Lo,” Roman grouses, standing up. Logan takes in his appearance - half-tucked-in shirt, unbuttoned vest, tie loosely slung around his shoulders. “But I appreciate it.”

“Roman, come here. Let me help you, alright? You’re going to look great.”

Roman tucks his shirt in and buttons his vest, letting Logan straighten and smooth his suit before taking the tie in his hands and beginning to tie it. “It still amuses me that you cannot tie one of these properly, Roman.”

“Hey! For all you know, I am the god of tie knots. I just pretend I don’t know what I’m doing so that you’ll keep tying them for me because I know how happy it makes you.” Logan smirks as he knots the tie, carefully adjusting Roman’s collar to make sure it lays flat over his tie.

“I would be inclined to believe you, but I know for a fact that you spent fifteen minutes prior to my arrival here standing in front of the mirror flailing that tie around pretending to be Amethyst.”

“Rude!” Roman screeches.

“Why? I am correct, am I not?”

“You’re right, but you shouldn’t say it!”

“On the contrary,” Logan says, “I am correct, and therefore I absolutely should say it.” He pulls his hands away from Roman’s neck, smoothing the lapels of his tuxedo jacket down neatly. “You may inspect my handiwork now, although I daresay you will find no fault with my knot. And even if you do, I can rest secure in the knowledge that it is infinitely better than anything you could manage.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re the most intelligent being that has ever lived, we get it,” Roman says breathlessly, staring at himself in the mirror. “I . . . th-this is really happening, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Roman. It really is. You are going to marry Patton today, and it is all going to be perfect.”

Roman’s hair is curled, falling neatly around his face in soft waves and ringlets that perfectly frame his eyes. Despite his penchant for dramatics, his makeup today is remarkably subtle. His eyelashes are darker and slightly curled, with minimal glitter on his eyes and cheeks. The boldest thing about his face is his bright red lipstick, perfectly matching his red silk tie.

“You look amazing,” Logan says. “I am proud to stand at your side as your best man.”

“Thanks, Lo,” Roman says, tipping his head back to knock gently against Logan’s shoulder. “But you can’t do that - not yet, anyway.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you’re not wearing any makeup.”

“Roman. There is a lifetime ban on you putting any sort of products on my face. You know this. Need I bring up -”

“Lo, please? I promise I won’t do anything too dramatic, and it’s not that I think you look ugly without it I just think it would complete the look! Please, please let me do this? For my big day?”

He bats his definitely-mascara’d eyelashes, and Logan sighs. “I reserve the right to veto the look if I think it is too ‘out there’, Roman.”

“Oh, thank you thank you thank you! You won’t regret it, I promise!”

Twenty minutes later, Logan is blinking at his reflection in the mirror to clear the phosphenes from Roman furiously blotting foundation against his face. True to his word, Roman has not done anything too dramatic - Logan recognizes minimal contouring on his cheeks, shimmery silver eyeshadow, the barest trace of eyeliner. He looks . . . he looks good.

“Do you like it?” Roman worries. “I can take it off if it’s too much, I -”

“Roman, I - it is - satisfactory,” Logan cuts him off, trying not to sound choked up.

“Damn it, Lo! You’re gonna make me cry with all your compliments, and if my mascara runs I’ll kill you I swear to God.”

“With your penchant for crying at emotional situations, I’m impressed that you think you’re getting through this wedding without wearing waterproof mascara.”

*~*~*~*~*

“Patton, if you don’t stop moving I’m gonna take your eye out with the mascara wand!”

“It’s rude to threaten someone on their wedding day,” Patton giggles. “It’s not a threat!” Virgil snaps. “You’re so damn ticklish and fidgety that I’m gonna end up accidentally stabbing your eye out! And then Roman’s gonna kill me to defend your honor and Logan’s gonna help because he’s been Roman’s friend longer than he’s been my boyfriend and -”

“Virgil! Calm down!” Patton says. He gently takes their hands, careful not to let the mascara smudge on his gloves. “I’m sorry, I’ll sit stiller. More still? I’ll fidget less, I promise.”

“Do you not trust me to make you look good?” Virgil asks, in a small voice.

“Oh, sweetheart, of course I do! Just look at you!” Patton gestures to the beauty-guru level makeup on Virgil’s face, from their silvery-purple-black eyeshadow to their dark purple lipstick to the way their cheekbones shine just a little more than the rest of their face. “You’re the best makeup person I know! But don’t tell Ro I said that, okay?”

“Don’t worry, Pat, I know better than to injure Princey’s precious ego. The last time I did that he pouted around for a whole week until I apologized. Not that I meant it - I was right the first time.”

“Hey, be nice,” Patton warns. Virgil shrugs, quirking a smile.

“Sorry, Pat. I know how much Princey means to you. If it makes you feel better, I don’t hate him like I did when we first met. Him not being a dick about my pronouns helped.”

“I told you he wouldn’t have a problem.”

“I know you did, Pat. Now hold still. Emile’s gonna be here to pick us up at any minute, and you need to be ready.”

Patton lets go of Virgil’s hands and obeys, letting them work their magic on his face. He doesn’t see the point in wearing excessive makeup every day the way Virgil does; he likes having his freckles on full display, and he doesn’t mind showing the occasional acne scar or blemish. But Roman had mentioned wearing makeup on their wedding day, and he hadn’t said that Patton had to but he thinks he would feel weird if Roman had makeup on and he didn’t.

Plus, Virgil really likes doing makeup, and they’ve apparently been planning what they’d do for his wedding for years now. Patton would hate to let all that work go to waste.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be done soon,” Virgil says, gently dabbing at Patton’s face. “If Emile gets here before I’m done, he can just wait.”

“I don’t want to make him wait too long!” Patton argues. “He’s doing us a huge favor by agreeing to officiate the wedding!”

“Please, Pat, you didn’t even have to pay Emi. He just loves weddings. He’s a loser like that.”

“Don’t you like them too, Virge?”

“I will admit that over my dead body, and I am denying any candor in your statements,” Virgil says, smooth and practiced. “Now blink onto my finger, I’m almost done.”

Emile shows up right as Virgil is preparing to put Patton’s lip gloss on. “Virgie! How’s my favorite twin?”

“I am your only twin, Emile, and I hate that nickname,” they grouse.

“Oh, look at you! You look so pretty!” Emile coos. Patton is inclined to agree; Virgil is wearing a silver button-down with a black vest, and a tie the same rich purple as their flowing knee-length skirt. Tall black boots lace up to just beneath their knees, and they have flowers matching the ones in Patton’s bouquet woven into their French-braided hair.

“Thanks, Emi. You look . . . adequate.”

“Oh, Virgil! That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me!” Emile squeals, twirling around to show off the flaring of their pleated pink dress. “You’re doing such a good job with Patton’s face! Did you paint his nails, too?”

“Well, someone had to do it,” Virgil grouses, but based on their tone Patton knows that they’re pleased with their twin’s praises, smiling shyly as they focus on carefully applying his lipgloss. “Pat, smack your lips together, and then you’re just about ready to look in the mirror.”

Patton does as he’s told, looking down at his feet. His toenails are painted a bright, cheerful yellow, and he wiggles his toes where they poke out of his sandals. Virgil’s intricate wedding dress fits him perfectly, and beneath his gloves his fingernails are painted sky blue with swirling red-and-gold designs. Finally, he looks up into the mirror propped on the nearby table and sees Virgil’s makeup.

“Oh, Virgil,” he whispers, putting his glasses on and seeing his face in sharp, striking clarity. “I don’t care what you said about the dress, I’m paying you extra for this.”

“Pat, you don’t have to -”

“It’s happening, Virgil, whether you like it or not,” Patton sniffles, and then he’s hugging Virgil tightly.

“Hey - careful, Pat, your makeup hasn’t set yet! And you’re gonna wrinkle our clothes, and -”

“Shut up and take my love, Virgil.”

“Y-yeah, okay . . .”

It takes Emile another seven minutes to shepherd them out the door and into the car, but Patton catches the secret proud smile gleaming on Virgil’s face as they help him get his train into the car.

*~*~*~*~*

The church where they’re getting married is small. The wooden beams bracing the ceiling arc like the beams in the hull of a ship; when they’d first inspected the venue, Logan had gone on some sort of tangent about the historical and symbolic significance of the beams. Roman hadn’t bothered listening, too busy whispering and giggling with Patton and looking at all of the mosaics and stained glass and gilded paintings.

Now, standing at the altar, Emile at his side and Logan at his back, he tilts his head up, up, up to look at the ceiling. Dimly, he remembers Logan’s voice saying, “It is meant to represent the hull of the ark, the ship that supposedly carried two of every animal to safety during the Great Flood of the Christian mythos. The thought in designing the church to mimic this boat is that it will carry the members of its congregation safely to heaven.”

Privately, Roman hopes that this marriage will carry his and Patton’s relationship through the rest of their lives. He knows the divorce rate in America, he knows how likely it is that the average marriage won’t work out. But he refuses to let himself go down that road. He loves Patton, and Patton loves him. They’ve discussed their future a million and one times - he knows how committed he is to making this work. This is going to be the start of the rest of their lives.

His cousin Thomas is up in the choir loft, gently cracking his fingers and running them lightly over the gleaming keys of the organ. Roman can see Virgil waiting in the first pew, gazes out across the sea of faces belonging to his and Patton’s friends and families. Thomas looks down at him from the choir loft and cocks his head to the side, asking if it’s time. Roman looks down the aisle and sees two silhouettes waiting behind the opaque glass doors, glances up to Thomas, and nods. Thomas begins to play, letting a few instrumental bars pass by before he starts singing, voice rich and strong.

The door opens, and Roman loses all the breath in his lungs in one swift, silent rush.

Patton walks down the aisle slowly, timing his footfalls perfectly with the beats of the song. There’s a shimmery veil over his face, held in place by a glimmering silver tiara with sparkling gemstone flowers. Roman hasn’t even seen his face yet, and already he knows Patton is gorgeous.

The dress is stunning; he can see Virgil beaming, and he makes a mental note to slip a hundred dollars into their pocket before the night is over. He knows exactly how hard they’ve been working on this secret project, and how long they’ve been working on it, too. He’s seen Virgil’s handiwork, of course, wears their neat, precise stitches in a lot of his clothing. But that’s mostly minor tweaks - hemming pants here, fixing a torn sleeve there. This is the first time he’s seen one of Virgil’s original creations.

If this dress doesn’t get them catapulted to center stage of New York fashion week, Roman is going to sue the entire fashion industry.

The top is all delicate lace and intricate embroidery, clever flower patterns and flowy sleeves. But it’s the lower half that’s drawing gasps and exclamations from the wedding guests. There’s a pure white ribbon wrapped around Patton’s waist, tied neatly in a bow behind him. The skirt starts off pure white, but as it descends it becomes pale blue, growing deeper and darker and fuller and richer as it heads toward the floor. The train is a midnight blue, so dark it’s almost black, with shimmering stars and flowers sewn in. It’s only because Roman knows Patton asked for one that he knows what he’s looking for, but he finds it quickly - the train is detachable. Patton hadn’t wanted to change into a separate outfit for the reception, but he couldn’t very well dance with a full train behind him.

Virgil really is the cleverest designer that Roman’s ever met.

Patton reaches the altar right as the song crescendos to its climax, and Virgil carefully slips up to stand behind him. His beloved’s face is obscured by the veil, but Roman can tell that Patton’s wearing makeup. Virgil probably did that, too.

Roman owes them so much money.

“Dearly beloved,” Emile starts, practically bouncing in place, “do you how do?” His characteristic greeting draws confused murmurs and whispers from the gathered crowd. Roman can hear Virgil’s palm smack against their face without even looking at them.

The ceremony flies by like lightning, but it feels like forever until Emile is stepping back and they’re putting the rings on each other’s hands, saying their vows. Roman pulls Patton’s glove off, smiling softly to himself when he sees the designs on his nails. He takes the ring Logan offers him and carefully slides it onto Patton’s ring finger.

“Patton,” he says. “I - I wrote this whole big speech, and I even had Logan proofread it for me to make sure it was grammatically correct, but . . . but standing here now, looking you in the eyes - well, as best as I can, anyway -” Patton laughs softly, and some of Roman’s nerves dissipate.

“I agonized over the right way to do these vows for so long, and now that we’re here, now that we’re doing this I - I don’t think it matters as much. I’ll let you read the sappy speech later, but - but right now, all that matters is that we’re here, that we’re together. I love you, Patton, and I don’t care who knows it, but I also really want everyone here to know it.”

More laughter, from everyone else this time. “You are the sun in my sky, the light of my life, the reason I want to keep being the best version of myself. I don’t know if I believe in the concept of people who are fated to be together, but if I did, I know for a fact that I would be fated to be with you. And even if I wasn’t, I would choose to be with you. I - I would always choose you.”

Patton squeezes his hand, and then he’s taking a ring from Virgil’s hands and carefully sliding it onto Roman’s finger. “Roman, my sunbeam, the day that I met you used to be the best day of my life. Whenever I was feeling sad or alone, I would think back to that day and I would remember that you were out there, somewhere, even if you weren’t with me at that exact second. And I would think about the light in your eyes when you look at me, and the way you smile right before you kiss me, and the way you take those few extra seconds to make sure our fingers are perfectly laced together. Those memories always made me feel warm and happy, like I was standing in the summer sunshine. But that’s not the best day of my life anymore.”

Roman blinks in confusion, but Patton keeps talking. “The best day of my life will always be this day, when I look you in the eyes. And I’ll choose you, and you’ll choose me, and we’ll keep choosing each other for the rest of our lives. Sorry I kinda stole the last bit of your vows, honey, but what can I say? You’ve always been the creative one between us.”

There are mixed smatterings of laughter echoing in Roman’s ears, but all he can focus on is the fire in his cheeks and ears and the water in his eyes. “Pat, my makeup is gonna run,” he whispers.

“Logan didn’t make you wear waterproof mascara?” Patton asks, but Roman can tell he’s smirking beneath the veil. “Virgil made me.”

“I told him to,” Logan whispers. Roman considers kicking him, but he gets distracted by Emile’s voice. The ceremony continues on, with Roman and Patton holding each other’s hands tightly. Roman tilts their hands slightly, marvelling at the way the multicolored sunlight streaming through the stained glass glints off their wedding bands.

“You may lift the veil now,” Emile says gently. Roman squeezes Patton’s hands once before letting go and tenderly taking the lacy edges of the veil. He rubs the soft material between his thumb and index finger before carefully lifting the veil and flipping it over Patton’s head to reveal his face.

If he still had breath in his lungs, Patton’s face would steal it from him. His cheeks are glowing and rosy, and his eyes are perfectly framed with dark lashes and subtle eyeliner that brings out his irises. He has golden-red eyeshadow artfully painted on his upper lids, and his lips are a beautiful soft shiny pink. His mouth is slightly open, and Roman just wants to lean in and press kisses against it over and over and over again.

“By the power vested in me by the state of Pennsylvania, I now declare you husband and husband! You may now kiss the groom!”

Roman gently cups Patton’s face, careful not to smudge or smear Virgil’s beautiful makeup job. He gently swipes his thumbs over Patton’s cheeks, right beneath eyes that shimmer with tears. “Hello, husband,” he murmurs, leaning down to brush their noses together. Patton pushes himself up on his tip-toes and presses their mouths together, cupping Roman’s face in return. On one cheek, he feels the softness of Patton’s glove, and on the other he feels the cool metal of Patton’s wedding ring.

His arms slide down to wrap around Patton’s waist and brace his back as he dips him, keeping their lips pressed together as wedding bells begin to ring and the congregation erupts into thunderous applause. He’s kissed Patton a hundred, a thousand, a million times, but this is the first time he’s kissed his husband, and the searing fire in his lips and butterflies in his stomach are fresh as the very first time he’d ever kissed Patton.

Somehow, he prefers this kiss to the time Logan had slapped him a high-five while they kissed.

(Later, at the wedding reception, Patton turns his back to the crowd and throws his bouquet of flowers. When he and Roman turn around, Virgil is holding the bouquet, and Logan is fidgeting awkwardly.

“Would now be an inopportune time to propose?” he asks.

“YES, because this is MY WEDDING DAY!” Roman screeches, even as Virgil shakes their head and furiously pulls Logan in for a kiss.)

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449 notes · View notes

warmau · 5 years

Text

{Special} College!AU Jungwoo

major: library sciences + information

minor: entomology (much to ten’s horror)

sports: was invited to the soccer team by yuta, but he’d rather play it for fun not for competition. likes to go to yoga - tries to get a grumpy taeil to go with him

clubs: showed up to chinese culture club so he could see sicheng - who kicked him out after three minutes, him and yuta both go to earth coalition meetings because they like nature, and sometimes jungwoo will pop by the conspiracy club to hear people ramble about aliens (he thinks they’re cool)

jungwoo tends to confuse students who arent his close friends because,,,,,,

he’s really really kind and affectionate - but he also seems like he’s always stuck in some kind of daydream too

like he’ll be in class, and he’ll be able to answer questions and take tests

but his voice is so cushiony soft and fluttery that it seems almost like he’s answering in some soft pink haze

or maybe that’s just his aura

it’s so ?????

but his friends know that ,,,, that’s just how jungwoo is

he’s incredibly open and relaxed - never anxious about anything but also,,,,,never really cautious either

so it’s natural for him to walk into things - or say whatever it is that crosses his mind

like the amount of times he’s just randomly said “i love you” outloud to taeil? doyoung? jaehyun?

like on public transit or in front of literal professors

everyone getting into a frenzy because wait - wait you love yuta??? and yuta waving his hands around like nO nO he means it like friends like it’s just what he says

there have been many rumors about jungwoo and like,,,,every member of nct on campus

but also it’s not just nct - jungwoo is just naturally touchy - naturally inclined to show his appreciation with little nudges and batting eyelashes

and he was born to flirt really

not in a,,,,,,,, pick you up kind of way or a sleazy ‘let me slide into the dms’ kind of way

just,,,,,,,a kind of enchanting way

that makes people feel all warm and cared for ,,,,, his handsome face and soft voice makes you feel like you’ve just been hugged by the worlds softest teddy bear

his major is library sciences because ,,, everyone agrees ,,, it matches him pretty well

archiving, reading, and helping others all are things jungwoo enjoys doing

because it’s not dramatic at all - it’s systematic and having a routine soothes jungwoo

plus his tall, slim figure in a grandpa sweater and some cute big framed glasses librarian-chic circa the 80s,,,,,,,,he’d be so cute c’mon

is that friend who gets books down from the top shelf and hands them to haechan with a smile

and haechan is clutching the book like “give me your legs. let me be 5′11.”

jungwoo: what

haechan: nothing. long legs. dont look at me.

because he’s also a nature fan - everything from mountain hikes to visiting public gardens

he’s not afraid of bugs

at all

taeyong has on several occasions texted him to come get a spider out of his dorm

and everytime, you know jungwoo does the thing where he puts the paper under the spider and then a cup over it and releases it back outside

saying something like “live free, small one” while taeyong wide eyed beside him is like “don’t. come. back. bitch.” tgkdjflsk

so at first he just took some classes from the entomology minor for fun - until he sorta accidentally completed all the credits for it anyway

so that’s why he just added it on at the end of the sem like look guys i got a minor :)

ten: cool for what?!

jungwoo: bug studies :)

ten, one eye twitching: t-t-t-heres bu-bugs on c-campus

jungwoo got invited to a couple of sports teams - he’s pretty strong and pretty fit, but the whole aggressive competition of it puts jungwoo off

he’d rather just do something for fun, and really dislikes being forced to train or anything like that

took up yoga after reading one of sicheng’s textbooks and now he goes to student run classes - always trying to bring taeil along

because quote unquote - taeil’s tiny body is riddled with stress and maybe, possibly demonic energy

you bet he’s also the type to do an hour of yoga or go on a long walk and come back and eat like. everything from the cafeteria

and then steal some of johnny’s hidden snacks

and then on top of that ask lucas to buy him a milkshake

he’s a bottomless pit when it comes to his stomach,,,,it’s a scientific mystery

he’s got an ability to befriend anyone, although sometimes his need to cling on can be a bit much,,,,

poor jaehyun’s hand fell asleep when they all went to watch a movie and jungwoo just basically leaned all his weight onto him and jaehyun is too nice to say anything

but he’s also got a little bit of a problem,,,,,,,

he’s oblivious

completely and utterly oblivious

which is why it’s a headache and much more to have a crush on jungwoo

which you have had since hmmm let’s see oh right

FRESHMAN ORIENTATION

when you’d arrived late, panicked, with no one to sit with let alone anywhere to sit

since the auditorium was overflowing

till a tall boy with a gentle smile and matching voice took your wrist and asked

“would you like this seat?”

ever since then you’d dreamed of that moment - of the boy who’d sensed your absolute dread and embarrassment

and who let you sit down, while he stood in the aisle - hands in his pockets - barely listening to the whole welcome celebration

you had practically embedded jungwoo’s face into your mind

because he was in ever aspect - your type

your dreamy, prince with a heart made a gold

the only problem was,,,,,,,,,you were more than ready to confess but any attempt you made

was thwarted

not by rivals or even jungwoos friends - who all were cheering you on

(all of nct claimed you were basically as transparent as a window with your feelings - hearts swirling your head whenever jungwoo as much as blinked)

it was always jungwoo who just,,,,,could not grasp the situation for the life of him

like that time you had been invited out to the seasonal fair and jaehyun and yuta pulled you aside on the way there

whispering eagerly that they’d hatched a plan to get you and jungwoo alone during one of the firework celebrations

you’d felt your heart race - almost burst from your chest

but you were thankful that his friends seemed just as excited for you

and when jaehyun had “casually” told everyone - but you and jungwoo - to follow him over to the food stands

you had hesitated, but turned to tell jungwoo there was something you needed to say

he’d looked down, eyes a soft autumn brown

“we’re all alone”

“y-yeah,,,,,,i think this might be my chance to tell you that i like-”

the gigantic bursting noise from the first firework had made it hard for your already shaking and tiny voice to have been heard

jungwoo, distracted by it, had just marveled up at the colors in the night sky

and pointed them out

“you should tell me after the fireworks, i couldnt hear you well”

“ok,,”

but that didn’t happen,,,,not when right after the ceremony ended - jungwoo had spotted taeil in the crowd and pulled you along toward him

yuta and jaehyun, when meeting up later, could tell by the dejected look on your face that nothing went as planned

and you just shrugged it off - there would be more times,,,,,,hopefully

and there were

they just always ended up badly

like when you’d tried to give jungwoo valentines chocolates with a hand written love letter but the box - having been in your bag the whole day - had melted all over the letter

making it unreadable and sticky

or when taeyong had offered you to be jungwoo’s tutor for this elective he had to take

and you showed up diligently everyday to the library for a week - till jungwoo announced one day through text that he’d been switched into a much easier class

you had even once written “i like you so much” on his cast when he’d had to wear it after an accident in the library

and jungwoo had read it - in front of you - smiled up and said

“what a nice thing to say to a friend”

at some point you’d just,,,,,,,come to terms with the fact that either jungwoo really couldnt take a hint or that he was trying the nicest ways to reject you

which hurt,,,,,but you tried to cheer yourself up with the sentiment that at least you got to be his friend

and through liking him you’d gotten to make even more friends with the great guys of nct

but everytime you were alone - studying your textbook or working on a project

and you’d find yourself thinking back to orientation

jungwoo’s touch on your skin, his voice echoing in your ears, the natural feeling of consideration and sweetness that shone off of him like diamonds

it made you grip your pen a little to hard, because the memory - instead of filling you to the brim with bliss like it used

now just,,,,,,,left you feeling like something sharp had wedged its way into your chest

whats worse was,,,,,because you’d always been one to wear your emotions on your sleeve

everyone knew you were hurting

even though you put in all the effort to hide it

taeyong had come to calling your smiles forced and even sicheng, who liked to keep his nose out of other peoples emotional businesses, had patted your back whenever jungwoo was around

whispering that you just had to keep strong

yuta and jaehyun, who’d you grown close to, and who also knew jungwoo well

were the most sympathetic

“i just,,,,i dont think he’s rejecting you”

yuta would insist and you’d just slump foreward

“then what? he really doesnt know? i could shout it from the liberal arts building rooftop and he’d still think i was joking,,,”

jaehyun sighs

“i cant tell, but i dont think you should give up. not until jungwoo either gives you a straight answer or ,,,,,,,, he just starts dating someone else”

at this, yuta perks up, his already mischievous features curling up into a grin

“hey - that’ right! jungwoo hasnt ever expressed interest in anyone else!”

“doesn’t he just,,,,,show love to everyone? i think it’d be hard to tell who he doesnt like ,,,,,”

you mutter, feeling the dark cloud of one-sided feelings cast heavy over your shoulders

“i mean,,,he’s nice and affectionate - but in a puppy kind of way. like he’ll give attention to those around him, but it’s never you know - it’s never romantic.”

you want to tell yuta and jaehyun that it’s fine. you need to sulk and then you’ll really pick yourself up and it’ll be fine

but neither of them look like they’re going to have it - and to be honest neither of them look like they believe you’ll get over it

because your love for jungwoo comes from the most pure place

and a love like that is hard to come by

maybe they just pity me or maybe they just want jungwoo to get a significant other to focus on

you think, huffing out a sigh

“hey i think there’s one way we can find out if jungwoo’s interested!”

your eyes dart up to meet yuta’s

jaehyun clasps his hands and gives his friend a look as well

“every semester the college campus votes for superlatives right? and one of them is cutest couple! the prize is like a two hundred dollar shopping coupon too - we should ask jungwoo if he’ll enter with you!”

you shoot up and shake your head - putting your hands out

“yuta we can’t just ask jungwoo to pretend to be my boyfriend!”

“yeah yuta,,,,,,that might not be the best way to find out jungwoo’s true fee-”

but yuta is dead set, he takes his phone out and hums as he scrolls through his contacts

clicking on one his fingers fly across his phone keyboard

and in a matter of seconds there’s a notification

you and jaehyun lean over to see

‘huh i didn’t know jungwoo was dating - but sure, ill put them in as a couple. im going to need their picture though, for the voting.’

‘no worries!! one of our buddies is a film major who will take some and ill send them your way!’

‘ok, so jungwoo and-’

your eyes widen when you see your name

and yuta closes his phone before you can sink back down into your seat

and jaehyun looks worriedly between you two

“no all we have to do is tell jungwoo! ill do that - jaehyun, go get johnny. we need our photographer!”

you feel something between adrenaline and anxiety when jungwoo walks through the door and into johnnys room

yuta jumps up before you can even greet jungwoo

and throws a hand around his friend

“listen - we all really want that coupon and you make the cutest couple so - let’s do our best to win, yeah?!”

jungwoo doesnt really acknowledge him

he more or less fixes his gaze on you

and it makes you feel hot under the collar of your shirt

“are you ok with this? if it makes you uncomfortable, we shouldnt do it.”

he says, calm and gentle

you want to say; are you kidding? couple posing with you? this is my dream,,,,,,,,

but at the same time it feels so weird ,,,, doing this,,,,, for fake

“johnny get your camera, let’s get the two lovebirds ready~”

yuta drags jungwoo off before you can answer

and johnny turns to you with his nikon

“i think you’d be better of just asking jungwoo out than going through all this trouble.”

“ive tried asking him out,,,,it always backfires,,,”

you mumble and johnny shrugs

“well you know i love drama and i can smell it on this situation, c’mon lets go take photos with your boyfriend”

your heart pounds inside your chest at the word

jungwoo? my boyfriend? if only that were true

yuta picks some secluded part of the campus for the photos

there are nicely lined trees in the back and jungwoo looks over at you when you sort of hunch over

“i know they want the coupon, but i would rather you tell me if this is too much-”

he voices his concern again and you shake your head

“no no, im fine. are you?”

he blinks a bit before letting his handsome face glow with a smile

“sure, if you are ok - so am i.”

yuta positions himself beside johnny, proclaiming that he knows what will make you and jungwoo look like a realiistic couple

when jungwoo looks down to fix his shoes, yuta winks your way and mouths

‘this will totally work’

but you,,,,,,,,dont feel so sure

the first poses are pretty innocent and sweet

holdings hands while looking up at the sky, a shot of you and jungwoo sharing a laugh, a pose where jungwoo is reaching out to touch your cheek

but then yuta gets,,,devilish

“back hug them!”

“why don’t you pretend like you’re leaning in for a kiss and then put your hand out to block it!”

“oh oh lets have you sit in jungwoo’s lap!”

the last one almost sets you (quite literally) on fire

“yuta that’s too mu-”

but jungwoo is sitting down on a bench nearby, motioning that you can join him

you stare down and jungwoo gives another comforting smile

but then he says

“it’s just for the picture, don’t worry”

and suddenly this whole charade, this whole dream moment for you just shatters

this is all fake. he feels nothing toward me.

“i cant”

you cast your eyes down and johnny sets his camera down

yuta looks like he’s desperately trying to think of something to say to ease the sudden tension

but it’s too late

“youre right, even for a fake photo this is too muc-”

“no,,,i cant do this.”

you look at yuta, but he’s blurry

everything is blurry from the tears that start welling up in your eyes

“i,,im just going to go. im sorry.”

and with that you’re running away, absolutely mortified that you even went through with this whole ploy

you dont look back

you dont see jungwoo get up, look at yuta and johnny and ask if he should chase after you

you dont see the sudden horror on his face - because the idea of hurting you,,,,,,,,,is something jungwoo would never do

you dont see any of it

you’re stuck in your own thoughts

you’d just wanted jungwoo to know how you felt

you didn’t want to force him into a weird situation like that, you didn’t want to hear the words

“it’s just for the picture”

because for you it wasnt that - you liked him so much that every touch of his fingers against your skin

ever smile

every word he spoke

it made you feel like the world around you was bursting with hearts and love

making you weak at the knees, making you absolutely lovestruck

but you think,,,,,if there’s one thing you got out of it

of seeing how easily jungwoo could do all those poses, how he thought so little of you as an interest

that he could even let you sit on his lap with no qualm at all,,,,,,,

you really didn’t mean as much to him as he meant to you

he just saw you as a friend

and your fear of him, all these times, quietly rejecting you - it was true

you could thank yuta for at least helping you see that

you get a couple of texts and missed calls afterwords

all of them are worried and from yuta, jaehyun, and even johnny

who awkwardly asks the group if they still want to submit what photos they do have

but none are from jungwoo

go figure, he’s probably so annoyed at me now. making him do this stupid photo-shoot, enter this stupid contest, and then having me runaway like some big baby

you’re so embarrassed that you turn your phone off and tell yourself that from now on

you’re going to do your best to forget kim jungwoo

no matter what it takes

of course,,,,,life never works the way you want it to

and so, as if by some cruel joke, the remainder of the semester you end up bumping into jungwoo everywhere

at the library - where you made sure to go on his off day, but it turned out he’d switched shifts recently

in the cafeteria - where for some reason it was jungwoo of all people sitting in your favorite seat by the window

at the bubble tea place around the corner which was usually to packed to even get into

somehow, jungwoo had squeezed in past those students and ended up shoulder to shoulder with you

each time trying to greet you with the usual serene, angelic smile of his

while you made up some bizarre excuse to get away

it was like your life had flipped upside down

instead of jumping on chances to be close to him, you were avoiding him like the plague

until finally - you couldnt do it anymore

“talk. to. jungwoo.”

yuta says, dropping his backpack down on the table in front of you and leaning over to narrow his eyes

you try to keep your own gaze on your textbook

but yuta is faster and stronger then you, so when he snatches it from under your nose

you have no choice but to comply

“why? i dont want to keep making a fool of myself. plus im,,,im really getting over him!”

yuta huffs some hair from his face

“i doubt that. i just said his name and your whole body looked like it was going through a shockwave”

you try to grit your teeth, think of some kind of comeback

but yuta is right - your heart’s deadset on jungwoo

no matter how many other boys youve tried to introduce to it

how youve lied in bed on instagram looking at all the campus cuties and none of them ever even matched up to jungwoo in your opinion

“yuta - it’s my destiny to love him and get rejected by him. i cant fix it”

“yes you can. just talk to him.”

“what is talking going to do-”

yuta looks at you so intently that you nearly topple out of your chair

“believe me ,,,,,, this time i promise it’s going to change things for you.”

so you agree

not because yuta kind of maybe intimidated you a little back there,,,

but because if anything you feel guilty knowing now that jungwoo does want to talk to you

you’d just assumed you disappearing from his life wouldnt matter,,,,,,

who were you to him anyway? right?

but there you are, standing outside of his dorm

palms sweaty,,,,,your heart beat so loud you think the RA is going to come over and tell you to keep it down

and it takes you ten whole minutes to even knock on the door

jungwoo opens it, his hair looks a little wet as if he’s just taken a shower

and he’s got simple joggers and a long sleeve shirt on

he looks so natural and relaxed,,,,,yet still so perfectly handsome,,,,,

“yu-yuta said you wanted to talk to me”

you get to it, thinking that you just want to hear whatever it is jungwoo has to say quickly

so you can curl up under your sheets and bawl your eyes out about it later

“i did, i know we saw each other a couple of times but you were always busy so -”

he shrugs easily and takes a set on his bed

you kind of shift your weight, standing in the middle of the room

feeling like the small walls of the dorm are going to close in on you at any second

“s-so whats up?”

you feign cheeriness to try and get past the butterflies gnawing at your stomach

“i want to apologize,,,,im sorry about the whole photo-shoot thing. but more than that, im sorry that i was so ,,,”

jungwoo seems to struggle to find the word, he scrunches up his nose

and you internally tell cupid to not shoot another arrow at your heart - you knew he was cute

but being this close and seeing him be this cute all ,,,,, domestic and what not,,,,too much

“im sorry that i was so dumb”

the choice of ‘dumb’ makes you a bit confused

“wh-what do you mean?”

he gets up and suddenly you’re aware again that ontop of being ultra cute,,,,jungwoo is pretty tall

and when he steps closer to you, he looks into your eyes and gosh the whole world is up in those pretty browns ,,,

“i just thought you were being nice, i just thought you were happy to be around all of us i didnt know you felt,,,,,that way about me”

the blood in your veins goes cold

“w-who told you?”

“it came out as an accident,,,you really cant let jaehyun around too much soju,,”

more than anything you’re surprised it wasnt nakamoto yuta - but beside that

you take in a deep breath

brace yourself. this is the real rejection

but instead of any “sorry i dont feel the same way”’s you get jungwoo’s soft hand against your cheek

you shut your eyes - don’t be too nice about it kim jungwoo, just tell me straight that you -

“i like you too”

there isnt anyway to describe the emotion that comes over you like a wave

it’s a mix of a million different things

it feels cold and hot, makes you want to cry and laugh

but instead all you do is slip down to the floor, a concerned jungwoo following you down

“a-are you ok?”

he presses his hand to your forehead, but you just try to shake your head

“im just,,,really shocked”

“that i like you back?! why?”

there isn’t really an answer for that, when you think about it, you just assumed jungwoo was going to be untouchable forever

“b-because no matter how many times i tried to tell you,,,,,,it felt like i was being pushed away -”

“because im a fool”

you shoot your eyes up to meet his

“no, you’re not! i just - i just never got it right you know, i never got the moment-”

jungwoo lets his hand come up into your hair and suddenly he’s tugging you close

so that you can rest your head against his chest

“when i think about it,,,,,,i probably just told myself not to believe it. not to fall for all your kindness, because i thought that you treated us all like that. me, yuta, jaehyun - i didnt want to think i was special to you”

you bring a hand up to hold the front of jungwoo’s shirt

“but you are special, kim jungwoo ive loved you since first sight”

he chuckles and the rumble in his chest is comforting

“since first sight? i think,,,,,,i think you charmed me too”

you’re too shy to kiss jungwoo in the moment,,,,maybe it’s because you think you’ve used up your luck

getting to hear the boy of your dreams say he likes you back

but you do let the fluttering feeling carry you on cloud nine for a long time

so much so that when you return to your dorm - even your roommate thinks you’re sick or even worse - going insane

jungwoo waits outside of your class to take you on your first date

which is to his favorite bookstore in the city

you knew he was studying to work in the library, but you never knew just how much jungwoo liked books

and just how good he looked among them

like he was just browsing for books and the manager offered him a part time job as a model for the store,,,,

to which jungwoo laughed, squeezing your hand a little and saying

“i dont think im quite the best at photo-shoots”

speaking of which,,,,,johnny does submit a photo he took,,,,,and you and jungwoo do win

but that 200 coupon? yuta “lost it”

jungwoo doesnt fret it too much, holds you back from launching yourself at yuta’s bookbag where you’re sure it is

and whispers against your ear that it’s ok,,,,he’ll take you out to eat and it’ll be his treat

and he’ll get yuta back for the both of you

(and he does. sweet, daydreaming jungwoo has a scheming side. and it comes out when he swaps yuta’s shaving cream with sardine scented hand cream)

jungwoo is a very interesting person,,,,aside from being able to just heal others with his warm presence

he’s also quite into the odd

any date you go on - jungwoo is sure to make it special

coffee runs? he asks you to play a game with him while you wait for your drinks by picking out strangers and giving them weird background stories

study date? jungwoo always gets you some kind of unique kind of stationary,,,,totally the type to just gift you a notebook with snoopy on it and be like “doesnt it look like your boyfriend?”

movie date? jungwoo has you pick a number he’s thinking of and whatever movie is that number on the showlist board is the one you’ll see

(cut to you clinging to jungwoo for dear life when you guys pick a horrible b-list horror movie)

(jungwoo kisses the top of your head, unphased by it afterwords and says if you’re still scared you can sleep over at his dorm and he’ll protect you from the monsters)

(,,,,,,afterall jungwoo is a natural flirt cough cough,,,,,,)

as he is an affectionate person, light touches and soft intimacies are a MUST with him

at first he tests his boundaries with you,,,,but soon enough it’s obvious that jungwoo could just brush his hands over yours

and it’d make you go completely dizzy with happiness

always has his hand on the small of your back

- it’s just a habit he has

when you’re talking with the group, he’ll put it there

when you’re sitting and falling asleep over your books, he’ll put it there and apply a little pressure with his thumb to get your attention back up

he also really enjoys running his lips over any part of you that he sees,,,,

the thing is he does this so absentmindedly

that he’ll do it in front of others

and get you in a flustered flurry

because you’ll just be talking to mark about an upcoming test and feel jungwoo’s lips at the base of your neck

your face turning firetruck red

while mark ducks his head into his hands and runs off, apologizing for “ruining the moment”

jungwoo: ? is he ok

you, head in your hands: u h idk but,,,i,,,im not

he loves when you wear anything that’s slightly too big because it’ll slip off your shoulder or show the back of your neck

and jungwoo is like : must kiss

you decide to try yoga with him since he keeps saying how much it helps him

but turns out jungwoo is very flexible

and you’re ,,, not there yet

so you tumble over yourself and maybe cant do some of the stretches

but jungwoo thinks you look so damn cute trying your hardest for him

totally the type to invite you over to binge watch a series you both like,,,,,but somehow you both end up on youtube watching a series on aliens,,,,

likes outdoors dates - likes just walking places with you, hand in hand

admiring the changing of the seasons, stealing kisses when the light is red and you cant cross the street just yet

but as much as jungwoo is like “let’s go hiking!”

and you’re like ,,,,,,,, “hahaha how about you hike and ill wait at the base of the mountain in the snack shop”

but if he really asks you, with his fluttering soft voice and those eyes that look up through pretty lashes

like you’ll do it

you’ll be sweating and hating it - but for jungwoo you’re pretty sure you’d do anything

and it’s crazy to know that he’d do anything for you too

because people always assume it’s hard to date someone who seems so,,,,,,unattached and like,,,,,in his own world

but the reality is, jungwoo is very observant when it comes to you

he knows what you like, he knows when to keep you safe and how to protect you

and most of all, he knows how to tell what you’re feeling

you though after all those oblivious attempts to confess to him, it’d be hard to have him read how you’re doing

but if one thing is wrong - jungwoo senses it

and does his best to cheer you up

totally the boyfriend who takes your phone and changes his name to something cute and childish

bought you guys matching snoopy keychains

tried to act aloof about it - but you know he really likes it when you clip it onto your bag

jungwoo,,,,,,admits that he might not be the best romantic - even though this is a lie - everything about him screams romantic

especially when he has you come over

and instead of studying or quizzing him like you both planned

he traces his fingertips up and down your arm, lays down side by side with you and mumbles that he thinks every part of you is perfect

and if you’d let him

he’d like to get to know more of you

and how are you supposed to say no to mr. long fingers, sexy voice, and overall fit body jungwoo?!?!?

like im not kidding, the moment he touches you - it’s like you’re in paradise

because he handles you with care and most importantly, with adoration

but there are some marks in the morning and yuta jumps on them like hot fire

to which jungwoo just does the ^_^ and is like dont make me leak some of those photos i have nakamoto ^_^

one day, as you’re watching jungwoo play a friendly match of soccer

taeil sits beside you

“can i say something”

he asks and you nod

“i know we all said you were being totally obvious with your feelings about jungwoo,,,,,,but nowadays i think he’s the one who has heart eyes for you”

jungwoo tells you a bit about his minor and you’re like ,,,, bugs ,,,, really

and he’s like it’s not that weird - they’re pretty interesting

and you’re a little iffy about it

but one of your dates is to a butterfly observatory

in which you watch as jungwoo let’s a butterfly settle on his finger

and you think that even insects can sense the inherit sweetness of jungwoo’s character

you’re a little scared when one lands on your nose, but jungwoo takes a photo

and to this day it’s his home screen on his phone

you tell jungwoo about how you tried to give him chocolates once but they melted all over you

and he feels so bad he buys you one of those gigantic bars with a two pound bag of chocolates

and you’re like jungwoo!!!! it’s fine!!!

and he’s like im sorry for being oblivious and horrible

and i promise im going to keep my eyes on you forever from now on!!!

yuta: corny

jaehyun: you’re just jealous because they got together and you’re still single

you and jungwoo looking at yuta like o?

yuta: HA AS IF,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,jaehyungofindmeadaterightnow

you and jungwoo win cutest couple that semester, and the semester after that

because let’s be real - being with him, taking photos of you two nose to nose - eyes full of love that you can only experience at that age - how could you not win

kim jungwoo? not only the cutest, but the bestest boyfriend around!!

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#so i rewatched a one-sided show and listened to fool by winner for three days straight idk this is the product of it #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct au #jungwoo scenarios #jungwoo imagines #jungwoo au #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 au #sfw #college!au #jungwoo #kim jungwoo #member: jungwoo

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zepdeans · 5 years

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there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3 -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4 -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :(( -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words?? -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!! -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!! -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

#take a shot every time i say whew #fully put more effort and time into this than most of my uni projects xx #its super rambly but thats bc its mostly just my direct stream of thought #also super long! and probably still missing things i wanted to say #AND like 3 weeks late fshfjjkdjkfsd #skam #clownfest 2019 #blabbey

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