Rewriting the Seeing Stars ending to be less disgusting and victim blamey (Loona and Vias conversation) 💜🤍

Via: Oh yeah he cares so much that’s why you’re here instead of him he couldn’t be bothered to show up himself. He’s too busy screaming at my mum. Why does he hate her more than he loves me?

Loona: (Sigh) Kid, I’m so sorry he’s not here. I don’t know what’s going on for you but I can see it’s hard. It’s shitty and it’s unfair to get dragged in to grown ups bull shit. I really thought he’d be here by now, he even came to the human world with us after…threatening my dad. I wasn’t really scared of him but it seems like he was blaming us instead of himself. And he just ran off when my dad was taken away somewhere even though he can fucking handle himself. Now that I think about it, me and my dad have been doing ALL the work to find y—shit I’m not helping am I? Fuck sorry this is just, kinda hard. It’s not really my business but you clearly need help. Has he, ever taken account for anything he’s done?

Via, head buried in her hands: Oh what like taken the blame? Without crying or making it about himself? Not really. He usually waits until me or mum are screaming at him before he bothers paying attention to how anybody else feels. And wow big surprise there chasing your dad around and making the little people do all his dirty work through intimidation. And he has the nerve to cry about his own mistreatment. He’s the most powerful figure in the house for fuck sake. S-Sorry I didn’t mean to swear…

Loona: Damn that’s annoying. And babe I think you’ve earned a curse or two. There’s nothing worse than people ignoring your feelings. ESPECIALLY when you’re a kid. You just get labelled as having an “attitude problem” And then they have the nerve to act all shocked when you finally snap?

Via, laughing: Yep! “Wow sweetie I didn’t realise you actually meant it when you said you were upset at me twenty times!” Maybe he’ll start giving me anger management. Even though as you’ve seen, his temper is the real scary shit. Nothing compared to my mom or me.

Loona: Yeesh! He’s never…you know, hurt you or your mom righ—

Via: Oh Satan no. Thankfully not. He’s too much of a wimp. He just attacks the imps instead.

Loona: Wow, sounds like a fuckin coward if you ask me.

Via, uncomfortable: They…both do it. I just try to ignore it but…it’s just confusing how some imps are people to him and some are just..toys. Honestly, my mums the one who lets herself go too far. Shes been pissed about the affair but it’s no excuse to try and smack somebody. I just wish she’d fucking apologise once, that either of them would fucking apologise. But, not a bit of me is scared of either of my parents in..that sense. My uncle is really creepy though…and nobody notices.

Loona, scared for her: Wait WHAT?? That sounds like a problem—

Via: It’s just how he is I guess? I mean..he treats women the same way my dad treats yours. So I guess it’s normal to me.

Loona: Honey…you and I both know it’s not. You need to tell an adult about this stuff. I..I don’t like thinking of my dad as some kind of victim. He’d tell me if he felt like one. Honestly it’s probably just some sort of disgusting..public kink play or something. Shit!! I shouldn’t be talking like this to a kid?! I’m so fucking sorry forget I said that.

Via, chuckling: It’s fine, my dad does it all the time I pretty much know everything about that stuff.

Loona, disgusted: What? Via…that is not ok.

Via: it’s just how he is…

Loona: Look…Im not an expert on this and I really think you should talk to somebody. Im not exactly big sister material I’ve got my own baggage…a LOT of baggage to deal with. But if you need someone to talk to, another girl, I’ll be here. And I can help you find some sense of identity that isn’t so…indebted to your dad all the time.

Later when their fathers are back.

Blitzø: Via! Thank Satan. And Loonie! Oh Loonie sweetie thank you for finding her I’m so sorry about that stupid acting bullshit I’ll never replace you I could never—(he flinches when she moves)

Loona, hesitantly but slowly hugs him: Dad…I’m sorry…I (tearful) I just can’t stop getting angry. I hate the desk job. But I hate failing more. I don’t think I can do it, I just, I’m so angry and I keep hurting you…I hate everybody but mostly I—

Blitzø, saddened but worried: You hate…yourself? I don’t know how anyone could hate someone like you Loonie. If it’s that important, I won’t..force you to do it anymore..I’ll miss you at the office though..try out cafe work or something (sigh) meet people your own age..I know now how weird it is for your dad to be your boss too..I guess it’s always just been normal for me. You aren’t a failure this is your first job and you tried it out. I love you Loonie. I’m proud of you.

Loona: I love you too dad. (She pulls back because physical contact is difficult for her she pats his shoulder instead)

Stolas watching them tearfully: Oh Blitzy you’re such a darling…Via, I’m so glad you’re ok, I know how sorry you are darling let’s get home and—

Via: How sorry I am?? Me??? After you fucking ignored me twice in one day for this stupid—-

Stolas: LANGUAGE!! I will not have you becoming like your B-I-t-c-h mother. Apologise to Blitzy and I, and we will be on our way. If we leave early the just the two of us-and my Blitzy of course—can watch Azathoths Tears together!

Via, tearful: I’m..sorry everyone…

Stolas smiles sweetly: See that wasn’t so hard! Ohohoho look! Fireworks! (Clapping)

Everyone just sortve awkwardly pretends they’ve never seen fireworks before to make the owl man happy.

Sooo yeah. What if Kim rok Soo and fem! Reader are childhood friends?

Reader is mentally and physically stronger than him

She always there for his gloomy ass and would always motivate him subconsciously because reader has great speaking skills

Like, "you can rely on me, rok Soo" and "shut up you're being depressing. Now come here and have some chicken wing"

But what if reader isn't as strong as she seems?

Krs would notice it first before her or anyone

But he won't say anything for the sake of the reader's pride in believing herself as a strong person

He would stay by the reader's door and listen to her sobs inside her room in hopes to lessen her loneliness and comfort her with his presence

Then would leave her some of her fav snacks right after and she would mentally thank him once she open her door

Both the reader and krs would then pretend nothing happen and continue both of their daily happy chats (reader do most of the talking while he just peacefully listens)

Krs knew that he needs to talk about what was bothering the reader but knowing her and her prideful ass, he would instead be glared at and ignored (because of embarrassment) if he said a word about it.

Kim rok Soo would definitely have a headache because of his childhood friend's personality and nonsense but would still love the person who brought him life and happiness to the ends of the world

Having a strong, egotistical, and honest person as a childhood friend and crush is not easy

IF you only look at the negative side of her personality

Krs admired reader because of her confidence and would be often told by her that he should be confident too

"aigoo, if you keep up that sorry excuse of a wimp personality that made you seem like a haunting ghost, people won't look at you the same way like I do." "Just how do you see me anyway?" "You're handsome."

Even though he doesn't care of what others think, but ever since she bluntly complimented his appearance, he was then suddenly motivated to at least fix his hair and clothes in a rather tidy, but still attractive, manner

Then he gets all the compliment from reader just as he wanted

Man's whipped for reader since primary school, so, he may look nonchalant as reader praise him, but deep inside his world became all pink with hearts as he took all of the reader's words in with happiness

Of course he also got some compliments from his peers, but the reader's mattered more to him

I'm gonna stop here since my battery's running out. But I still want to talk about this when the apocalypse arrived and krs became Cale....

So yeah if you want part two of this idea then I could give it to you guys if not then I hope you like this idea since I planned to make a fanfic for Cale around this time when my affections for him are at its peak lmaoo

BABE??? OH MY GOD THIS IS SO AMAZING

ngl i very much kin the reader 💀🙏

please PLEASE MAKE A PART TWO OMG?? i cannot believe you're sharing this with all of us, omg omg im so in love with it

When We Were Kids (Part One)

...s-so... how are you feeling?... ...s-still s-sore?...

Y'all got no idea. The only thing that don't hurt is blinkin'. I swear, soon as I can move again, I'm suplexin' Dan inta next sweep.

...he only picks on you because he cares... ...its his way of making s-sure you dont obsess over everything...

Ya mean like the fact I fucked myself an' can never have anythin' close ta a normal life ever again cuz I lost my fool head?

...yeah... that... ...im just relieved you werent killed... ...i... ...i was going insane thinking id have to bury another moirail...

I wouldn't be too relieved. I can't go out in public ever again with legis an' fleet dogs out fer my head. Prolly got a hefty bounty, too, an' rewards fer turnin' me in. Y'all two ain't safe either if anyone finds out y'all know me.

...yeah... ...when dantli comes back... we s-should all talk about where were going from here...

Ugh, I can't even get my shit from my hive. It's prolly bein' watched or somethin', or it's been raided an' bugged by now in case me'r one a y'all shows up. God, my lusus ain't gon' know what happened ta me, an' he can't come here like yers. I ain't sure he'll wait a sweep fer me ta come back like when I was a kid.

...that reminds me... ...when i was in the hospital... you s-said you knew exactly how i felt when i was being held captive... and that i s-should ask you about your childhood...

Yeh. Yeh, I did say that, didn't I? I'm guessin' this is yer way a askin'?

...yeah... if you dont mind...

Alright. It ain't a happy story, but I'm sure ya already figured that. I guess I'll start from the beginnin'.

I was even more a a hotheaded stubborn shit when I was a kid, if y'all can believe that. Pickin' fights with every troll I saw an' tryin' ta befriend the ones who beat me. Which was damn near all a them cuz fer all my bluster, I was a twiggy scrawny little toothpick, ain't had a ounce a muscle on me. I didn't want nobody thinkin' I was weak just cuz I was a skinny rust.

I was always gettin' my dumb ass beat up an' hurt tryin' ta prove I ain't no wimp, but I did get some good friends outta it. Even had a li'l flush crush on one a them, a girl who beat me in a fight just by knockin' me down an' sittin' on me 'til I wore myself out tryin' ta get her off. I had a whole group a friends back then. I can't tell ya what their names'r caste was, but we were a happy li'l group.

Here's the part where everythin' goes ta shit. When I was five, I was out patrollin' my li'l territory when I spotted a scraggly-lookin' teal prowlin' around. He was a adult an' a lot bigger'n me, but I challenged him all the same. He hauled off an' kicked me dead in the stomach an' told me ta get lost. If I was smart I'd a left it at that, but who said wrigglers are smart? I wasn't ready ta say I lost, so I picked myself up, grabbed a big ol' rock, an' chucked it square at the back a his head. Hit him so hard he started bleedin' an' staggered a good bit.

He looked back at me real mad at first, then he started smilin'. Said I had a lot a fight in me for a twiggy brat. I told him there's more where that came from if he don't git, an' he laughed an' said he'd have a ball breakin' me. 'Fore I knew it, he was right up on me, an' I didn't have no time ta react 'fore he got me in the gut with a stun gun an' knocked my ass right out.

I woke up in a cell with a couple other young trolls. I asked where I was, an' they said I was in the slave camp. Said I was here cuz they were gon' break me, train me inta a perfect li'l pet slave, then sell me off ta the highest bidder. Needless ta say, I wasn't havin' that shit. I made it my mission ta put up as much a a fight as I could an' refuse ta be domesticated.

First handler they assigned ta me was that teal that grabbed me. Since I already fought with him once, I knew what ta expect. He got a lotta good licks in over the first couple nights, but eventually he slipped up an' I was able ta steal his stun gun an' shock him dead in the eyes. After that, they decided to gimme their toughest, meanest, biggest handler.

He was a big blueblood who made us call him "Mister," an' he took that shit serious. I called him asshole exactly once an' he slapped me 'cross the face so hard he damn near snapped my neck. I couldn't feel my face fer a night afterward. Most a my abuse came from him, an' I just know he was havin' fun beatin' my ass every night tryin' ta make me give up.

But I'm the most stubborn bitch ever hatched, so I didn't make shit easy fer him. He beat me ta shit, starved me, locked me in a tiny li'l cage, an' made sure no one talked ta me'r tried helpin' me'r they'd be in the same boat. His favorite punishment fer me was the post. There was a big wooden post in a sort a courtyard outside with a pair a manacles attached. He'd lock me in, hike up my shirt, an' tear me ta ribbons with a whip. Afterwards, he'd leave me out there fer nights with only a thick blanket thrown over me ta keep me from bein' completely cooked ta death by the sun durin' the day.

He liked hearin' me cry an' scream in pain, so I'd try my damnedest to keep my mouth shut no matter how hard an' how much he whipped me. I'd stay quiet for the first thirty seconds, but after that I could never hold it in anymore. Then he'd whip me more fer resistin'. So many times I was close ta givin' up if it meant he wouldn't torture me no more, but I didn't wanna let him win.

...oh my god... ...im s-so s-sorry... ...i cant even imagine... and i s-said all that--

Y'ain't gotta apologize fer bein' mad. I get it. Ya were in a scary situation, an' hearin' that I never even tried ta find ya when this whole thing was my damn fault ta start with? I'd a been pissed, too.

...s-still though... ...it was s-so insensitive...

It ain't like y'all knew any a this at the time. It's fine.

...how did you get out??...

Heh, that's where shit gets real interestin'.

They kept me at that camp fer half a sweep torturin' me, but I held on. I dunno why they didn't just cull my stubborn ass a long time ago. My guess is cuz Mister wanted the satisfaction a breakin' me cuz ain't no one else been this much a a challenge fer him fer so long. If he let them cull me, it ain't a real win. But eventually he reached the end a his patience with me.

I managed ta get a hold a a fork an' taunted Mister 'til he grabbed me 'round the throat an' got right in my face ta threaten me. I stabbed him in the eye an' tried ta make a break fer the exit while he was screamin' an' cursin' an' bleedin'. A course, I didn't make it nowhere close ta the door 'fore I got caught. Mister was fumin' somethin' fierce, and I didn't even get a chance ta register what he was about ta do 'fore everythin' just became blindin' pain.

I remember one a the supervisors cussin' him out cuz they was plannin' on sendin' me ta The Pit, an' now I ain't in no condition ta be transferred. That fucker cut me open from rib ta hip with a dagger. I spent nights in the infirmary tryin' ta get stabilized an' patched up. I was so weak from bein' starved an' beat on a regular basis that I almost died.

But like I said, I'm the most stubborn bitch ever hatched. I was able ta recover enough ta get my stitches out, but after they they decided ta cut their losses and finally cull me. Mister wanted ta do the honors himself. After what I did ta him, he didn't care about winnin' no more. He wanted me dead. He filled a tub full a water, threw me in, an' held me down with his foot while I thrashed an' tried ta free myself 'fore I drowned. Eventually I lost consciousness.

I woke up chokin' on water an' hackin' the shit out my lungs in the middle a the forest. I figured they dumped my body fer the undead an' the animals ta eat once I blacked out. I didn't know where I was or how ta get back home, an' I was fuckin' scared. But I was free after half a sweep in captivity, an' that was more important than bein' afraid. I picked a direction an' started walkin'.

I didn't have no way a huntin' ta feed myself, an' I was still fuckin' weak as shit, so I didn't eat much a nothin' 'cept whatever bugs an' small animals I was able ta catch. I had ta sleep up in trees durin' the day ta avoid the roamin' undead. Eventually between the hunger an' bein' exhausted all the time, I dropped.

Next thing I know, I'm wakin' up in a hive belongin' ta some li'l jade even younger'n me sayin' him an' his lusus found me. I was still a ornery li'l shit an' wasn't exactly a good hiveguest. He still helped me an' everythin' though. Kept me fed, gave me a place ta sleep. Once I was mostly healed an' had my strength back, I robbed him blind an' ran. Took every piece an' scrap a food I could carry, stole a couple knives, an' I was off. I'd prolly apologize ta him if I ever see him again, not that I remember what he even looked like, an' I'm sure he don't remember me or wouldn't recognize me now.

I spent the next half sweep doin' whatever I could ta survive an' try ta find my way home. I stole, I killed, I broke inta hives, I did whatever I had ta do ta make it ta the next night. When I finally made it hive after that half a sweep, my pa was there waitin' fer me. He waited fer a whole sweep fer me ta come back instead a takin' in a new charge. I bawled the hardest I ever have in my life. Makes me feel extra shitty that I can't go back an' say my goodbyes ta him. He's prolly still waitin' fer me ta come back just like I did last time I went missin'.

...if you want... i can ask dantli to go to your hive and tell your lusus you arent coming back... ...i dont think hes on anyones radar s-since he doesnt s-socialize... ...i can tell him to make it look like he's robbing you s-so they dont get s-suspicious... and itll be a convenient way to get s-some of your things for you...

That ain't a bad idea. S'long as he don't say nothin' stupid'r incriminatin', that could work.

Anyway, speakin' a going back hive, when I finally made it back ta mine after my sweep in Hell, I couldn't function fer shit. I didn't wanna reach out ta my friends cuz I didn't want 'em ta see how broken I was. I didn't wanna look weak ta them, an' none a them reached out anyhow. In just that one sweep, they moved on from me, which still kinda hurts ta know that's all it took ta lose 'em.

Fer perigees after, I'd have daymares a bein' back at the slave camp, weak an' in pain with Mister standin' over me with the whip, then draggin' me out ta the post. I was barely gettin' any sleep, I couldn't eat, an' I was terrified a bein' in water. That's when I decided ta start bulkin' up an' gettin' stronger so I couldn't be taken back there or anywhere else.

Fer three sweeps, I had the mother grub a anxiety. A lotta nights, I couldn't even get the nerve ta leave my hive. I'd get anxiety attacks an' panic attacks when I saw highbloods, 'specially male blues. An' y'all know me. When I start gettin' anxious, I get real mad an' itchin' fer a fight. Even now, I don't hate highblood s'much as I get anxiety bein' around 'em. An' I do also hate 'em.

That's when I started drinkin'. It wasn't about gettin' drunk. It was a way ta calm my frazzled nerves an' keep my anxiety under control. Over time, though, it turned inta a addiction, an' y'all know how well that ended up workin' out fer me in the end.

That's basically everythin' about my childhood, so believe me when I say I know exactly what it's like ta not know if yer gonna live ta see another night, an' cryin' yerself ta sleep durin' the day cuz everythin's so awful, an' prayin' that yer loved ones ain't next or won't be too tore up if ya don't survive.

...i... im s-so s-sorry... ...no one s-should have to endure that... especially not a child... ...i... i...

C'mon now, y'ain't gotta cry about it. It sucks, but it's in the past now, an' fallin' ta pieces over it ain't gon' fix nothin'.

...i... i know... but...

It's okay, I get it. If it'll make ya feel better, go ahead an' cry it out. I can hold ya if ya want.

...but arent you s-still sore?...

Not so sore I can't comfort my pale. It ain't gon' kill me, so get yer li'l cryin' sniffly self over here.

book review for into the drowning deep by mira grant!!! spoilers under the cut! just found out the author has a tumblr well if u find this pretty please dont look theres nothing bad in here its just not for you! reviews are for readers and you can get constructive criticism from a paid editor and not random readers doing this for free :)

ok i. literally just finished this and am writing it as i am staring at the finished checkmark on my computer lol wanted to get this out so i didnt forget. anyways ok so i super liked this book. love feels like a strong word bc i think im on too much adhd meds to really feel it like that but yeah i really really liked it.

OBViously the best part about this book were the mermaids. i came into it wanting mermaids and creepy shit in the ocean and science and thats what i got. they were creepy wnd fucked up and vicious and murderous amd beautiful and i loved them so much. especially that we got their pov! and how sometimes from their pov we would get little hints of answers about them before the scientists did. i liked that. loved the ocean imagery especially from dr toth was it heavy handed? maybe. idc i love the ocean.

this was also again. creepy as fuck not downright terrifying which surprised me bc im a huge wimp. but i was on the edge of my seat and anxious and nervous for a lot of the characters... which leads me to my next point i guess i dont really feel like i connected per say with all of the characters as much as others. like i feel connected for sure to olivia, especially when its her pov, the probable undiagnosed autism diagnosis goes crazy. and i really liked the wilsons, luis was nice, i liked dr toth. everyone else i didnt really care. which is fine i read this for cool mermaids !!

another thing i would kill for more of was the linguistics with hallie and lennox and the mermaid like i fucking LOVE that shit, and also what happened to said mermaid other than just a small bit at the end about it being bought by some rich guy. also would like to see more of the matriarch mermaid. i love the absolute ancient and archaic nature of creatures that are just fuckin so big, especially when it relates to the ocean. and also maybe i missed where her size was actually describe and im generally really bad at conceptualizing how big things are when just given like. measurements but i was picturing this thing as more colossal than anything else, which would tie into luis' research, right?? pretty sure that was his whole schtick and i wanted more of that... i do appreciate the mystery however. this book left me with questions, and not in a like this was filled with plot holes kinda way but more of a i need to know more this is probably how all those scientists felt kinda way. i like that i think. absolutely love how in these reviews im just spitballing ideas and seeing what sticks who knows tomorrow i probs wont agree with half the shit im saying but who cares. im working out my thought irl and this is what happens. on another note we had anchovies out for dinner and im not normally squeamish about them but. looking at them when reading this book did make me feel a bit weird so theres that. 4/5 stars had fun would recommend

Why do you always hang out with that gay Indian

Are you gay

I mean you couldn’t get up with her

Maybe you are

It’s ok to be gay

Mitch and Kane keep calling Lachlan gay

And eventually

Lachlan says

Well

What if I am

They don’t be friends with him anymore

You’re not gay Lachlan

I know gays

Gays are flamboyant and soft

You’re just confused and a wimp

Theyre getting changed and Mitch feels uncomfortable around Lachlan

Swimming pool shirtless, dripping

Are you checking me out Lachlan

No

Why you don’t think I’m attractive

No I do

So you’re into me

No

I’m not gay

Sure you aren’t

You never know

Well even if I was gay

I wouldn’t do that to you

You’re my friend

Friends with benefits

I dunno how you could find a guy attractive

It feels like having sex with your brother or something

And what about tits

How could you not find tits attractive

Dude I do

But Lachlan doesn’t look convincing

Yeah what do you like about tits

Um their shape

Their round and soft and the nipple in the middle

Yeah

I could just have a wank right now

Lachlan blushes

And looks away

Don’t do in front of Lachlan though

He might get ideas

They’re at the pool shirtless

Later on

They’re in his house in sleeping bags

Shirtless watching movies Eating popcorn

Lachlan feels uncomfortable with the constant gay jokes

I don’t want to sleep next to Lachlan

What if I wake up and he’s on top of me

Dude

I wouldn’t do that

How do we know you won’t

Why are you guys so afraid I’ll do that anyway

Are you worried you might like it

Gross

I’m not bi curious

Just watch the movie doofus

They pause the movie on the girls in the movie

God they’re so hot

Mitch talks about the girls he’s fucked

I’m in a casual relationship right now with this girl

How do you get girls so easy Mitch

Well you have to be attractive first and confident and don’t care so much

Like you don’t care for them

They love that

They’ll fight for you

If you get into the room and you act like you don’t care for her

She’ll be into you

Man I got to write this down

Next

Lachlan finds out Mitch had a party and he wasn’t invited

Dude

I wasn’t invited to your birthday

I’m sorry Lachlan

I forgot to invite you

Yeah right

Lachlan looks away wanting to say more

He turns around

You just don’t want to invite me anymore cause I’m gay

So you are gay

No im not

Then why did you say it

I’m saying you don’t invite me to your party anymore cause you’re awkward around me

Idk man

I didn’t invite you cause I forgot

Not cause you’re gay

I’m not gay

Mitch rolls his eyes

Whatever dude

Sorry

Can I hang out with you guys

Ah fuck Lachlans coming

They stand around awkwardly

And wait

Lachlan leaves

And they resume talking

All I have left is Aput

After Mitch and Kane leave him

All Lachlan has left is aput

Aput and Lachlan have a falling out

Because Lachlan is annoyed that his only true friend left who knows his gay is Indian and gay and loves him

He takes it out on him that you’re a joke

Aput and Lachlan avoid each other

Lachlan later returns to Aput and says how sorry he is and that he only said those things because hes angry that all he has left is Aput and he’s angry that Aput makes him look gay and a loser by hanging out with him

So you think I’m a loser

No

You’re so conceited Lachlan

Eventually they make friends but the friendship is strained

Eventually they get back together

Then

Lachlan decides to join a musical

There he meets Nick

And Lachlan relationship is threatened by Aput

As Aput is suddenly jealous of Nick and Lachlans new found love

You abandoned me

I realised

I’m looking for shows to make me happy to watch

But I’m way more happier creating my own show

hello all. i know i’m not on here often or don’t have a lot of followers but this is the only social media site where my roommate doesn’t follow me so if you’d like to enjoy a rant and some tea, enjoy: btw i’ve forgotten how to do a read more so sorry i’ll tag it tho)

like i love her and admire her so much and she is my best friend and college would be nothing without her but i’m also very fucking jealous and angry at her i think.

we had met this boy at the same time, and prior to meeting him we had known of each other through mutual friends and i thought he was cute and was excited to meet him and she thought he was okay. so fast forward to one of our last nights on campus and he and our mutual friends come over on a random night, before our little get together that we planned. i look like shit and trying to finish my end-of-semester work so i don’t go downstairs where they are. they leave, and my roommate all of a sudden she thinks he is HOT like insanely hot (she confuses him for a friend of a friend at first)

but she knows how interested i was in this man before meeting him. i didn’t really care she thought he was cute, though. because he is. anyway flash forward to the night of our little get together and everyone is drinking and he cannot handle his liquor lmfao so he gets drunk and talks about how well he fucks and all this shit he can do to me and just…phew 👀. i’ve never had a man declare what he was declaring to me that night, incredibly drunk, in front of all of his friends…..ahem. anywho not the point. so he’s saying all these things and meanwhile my roommates like “oh my God you should totally say smthg to him! let him know you’re interested!” and i’m like…i’m not preying on a fucking drunk man; he’s saying all this shit to me he wouldn’t have said sober and i’m not evil and also im... inexperienced in MANY facets. so fast forward again he’s throwing up on our fucking couch 😂 he spends the night there and I REMEMBERRR HIM DM’ING ME BEFORE HE LEFT!!! that he was sorry what had happened but had MEANT EVERYTHING HE SAID AND DONE!!!! i saw it and i was like omfg…and went back to sleep. i woke up again and then boom it’s fucking gone (because i had never dm’d him prior so you can delete it before they accept the convo). but we never really text after that, just small interactions on twitter. him and my roommate DO text though. and i don’t know i had spoken about it before on here how i thought it was weird how she basically goes after guys i’m too afraid to because i’m so inexperienced :p it is not her first time doing this to me ( i think the first guy was actually using her to get closer to me but he has a gf now and i never brought it up so lolz). now we are all in a little friend group (+ another guy who is his bf and our mutual bf) and idk man. she touches up on him and she got drunk and they ended up on the floor and he was like on top of her and held her face and i fucking malfunctioned a little bit idk. i felt so jealous. that should be ME but i’m poosie and insecure and don’t have any confidence despite the fact he has OUTWARDLY admitted his attraction to me. it’s just this weird fucking like/lu$t triangle and it wouldn’t have even been a thing if i had just not been a wimp and texted him but i always feel like i’m in a state of being fucking stuck and. yeah idk. she doesn’t go for men unless they’ve admitted they’ve liked me before and even if i want to i don’t ever go for it SHE does like YUCK YUCK YUCK!! doesn’t that violate girl code or sumn? anyway……..yerp :p this is my life i wish i could put this into some fucking poetry but i can’t man i’ve had such bad writers block for a couple years now. but ya thnx 4 reading

Fairy Tail: Neela Dragneel

The Wizard In Armor

Neela's pov

Here we are again, almost broke. Natsu, Happy, and I were sitting at one of the tables. Happy was munching on fish, again. I had just finished a whole chocolate mousse cake and downed my glass of milk. Natsu was laying his head on the table and Lucy was standing near us.

"I guess we should probably try and find another job." Natsu grumbled.

"Ai. We're running out of food money."

"If we'd taken that 2 million joule reward money we'd be sittin pretty. And I can't let myself forget that rents gonna be due next week." Lucy started mumbling to herself and I eventually tuned her out.....again.

Ugh this sucks, I'm still hungry!! Even worse my hubby still isn't back from his job. Ughhhh life sucks!! ITS THE END OF THE WORLD IF I DON'T SEE HIM SOON!! *Internally cries*.

"Will you just go and pick us a job already?" Natsu asked Lucy.

"You have got to be kidding me, what makes you think I would do that?"

"Well we are a team now aren't we?"

"Yeah! And we picked the job last time so it's your turn to pick. So get to it." Happy told Lucy.

"Just forget it cat. As far as I'm concerned, our team has been disbanded. And besides, you guys didn't actually want me you just needed me last time cause I'm a blonde."

"Ugh, you're so annoying blondie! Don't be ridiculous, that's not the only reason we chose you. We picked you cause you're so nice." I smiled at her.

"Hey Lucy, I wouldn't stay with those losers if I were you. You'll get plenty of offers from teams."

"You're clothes Gray." Cana told him and of course he freaked out.

"Jerk." Oh no here we go.

"Did you just call me a jerk dragon boy?" Gray said back at Natsu, getting in his face.

"And what if I did? What are you gonna do about it?" Natsu fired back.

"You mouth breather!"

"At least I'm not a coward!"

"You're a spineless wimp!"

"Looks like they're at it again." Said Happy.

"Why don't you join the team of love with me Neela? Later tonight? Just the two of us?" Loki had his arm around shoulders.

"Um no. How did I even get thrown into this when it was originally about Lucy?"

"It's not my fault. You're just so stunningly gorgeous that I have to keep my shades on when I look at you...or I'll be blinded by your dazzling beauty."

"Loki, don't make me tell you know who when he gets back. Cause if I do you know you're dead. Why don't you try it on Lucy?"

And that's exactly what he did. Except that he barely got a full line out before he jumped back looking terrified of her.

"You're not a Celestial wizard are you!?"

"Huh?"

"You didn't know that? Wait does that mean that you didn't know I could use Celestial Spirit keys too?"

"Ahhh! Curse you fate why must you torture me sooo!! I'm sorry but you and I can't be together my dear! You either Lucy!" And then he just ran away.

Um...what the hell was that? Why's he so terrified of Celestial wizards? I've been pretty close to him ever since he joined and he seriously never knew I could use spirit keys? Then again I don't have any, but I am able to use that magic. I wanted to be able to use different types of magic so that I could be stronger and be able to protect myself and everyone I cared about.

"What was that about?"

"Loki has a bad history with Celestial wizards. Rumor has it he dated one and it didn't end up very well."

Why didn't I know that? I thought I was closer to him than most people. OW!

"Really!?! Will the two of you just knock it off already?!" Natsu fell on top of me because of his fight with Gray.

"Natsu started it I'm just following through."

"Well you're the one who was provoking us, ya dirty slime ball." I glared at Gray as Natsu finally got off of me and stood behind me glaring at him too.

"Oh yea? And what exactly did I do to provoke you? Ya fire clown?"

"PERVY FLASHER!"

"Pink haired puppy!"

"Pervy popsicle!"

"That all you got!"

"Pretty much!"

All of a sudden Loki came barging through the door screaming,

"We've got bad neewws!! It's Erza, she's on her way here!"

WHAAAATTTTT!?!?! NO WAY IM TOO YOUNG AND PRETTY TO DIE!! NOT TO MENTION ADORABLE AND CUTE TOO!! WHY!?? WHY DID SHE HAVE TO COME BACK BEFORE HIM??! It would have been nice to do it one last time before I died. Well so long world, it was tasty while it lasted *internally sobs* 😭😭😭.

We were so terrified that me and the boys stopped fighting. We heard footsteps coming closer and closer. I could hear the clank of her metal armor too. Not to mention it's her scent. Yup I'm totally screwed. She's here!!!

She came walking in carrying (with just one hand) what looks like a giant horn then set it down.

"I have returned, where is Master Makarov?"

"Welcome back Erza. The master's at a conference right now." Mirajane answered.

"I see."

"So um, what's that humongous thing you got there?" One of the members asked.

"It's the horn of a monster that I defeated. The locals were so thankful they decorated it and gave it to me as a souvenir. Do you have a problem with it?"

"No not at all!" Some of the members replied terrified.

"Now listen up! While I was on the road I heard a few things. Word is Fairy Tail is causing nothing but trouble as of late. Master Makarov may not care, but I most certainly do! Cana! You need to start controlling your drinking! Vijeeter please take the dancing outside! Wakaba! Get rid of that filthy habit! Nab! I suspected I would find you doddling in front of the request board, just pick a job!! Macao!" She sighed.

"Please just say something!" He cried.

"I don't even know where to begin with you. You cause so much trouble I've almost given up. Are Natsu, Neela, and Gray here?"

Oh god nooooo!!!!

"Ok boys remember, we can't escape so just act natural." Natsu and Gray formed a bro hug (arms around each other's shoulders and their other hands holding each other) while I stood in the middle. We each gave our best forced smile.

"Oh hey there Erza, we're just hanging out like good friends tend to do." Gray said.

"Ai!" Natsu blurted.

I just stuck with my smile while ruffling their hair.

"That's great. I'm quite pleased to see the three of you getting along so well. However it's only natural for even the best of friends to lock horns now and again."

"I don't know if we're the best of friends."

"Ai."

"What? We're not?" I gave Gray my puppy dog eyes.

"Except for you angel." He admitted while petting me.

"What's wrong with them?" Lucy asked.

Mira, Macao, and Cana proceeded to tell them about why we were so scared of her. Natsu because he challenged her and she beat him senseless, Gray because she caught him walking around naked, Loki because he tried to hit on her, and me...well Macao didn't get to that because I flashed over and sucker punched him. As if I'll just let him announce one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. It was horrible, I'm always challenging Erza cause I'm either trying to protect Natsu or I'm refusing to do what she says. The last time I fought her we made a bet, the loser suffers whatever punishment the winner decides. I thought I could win this time so I agreed. Unfortunately I lost, but my punishment...was to be spanked and whipped on my butt in a skimpy outfit in front of the entire guild. It was the worst, and it only happened because my man wasn't there, if he was he would've saved me. Natsu, Gray, & Loki tried.....but of course got knocked out.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You know why old man." I glared at him. Before turning back to all smiles and walking back to the boys when Erza looked over.

"Neela, boys, and I need you to do me a favor. While traveling I overheard something that has me worried. Normally I would consult with the master before acting but he's not here and this is a matter of utmost urgency. The three of you are the strongest wizards here, I could really use your help."

The boys and I looked at each other thinking what everyone else was thinking. Is Erza asking us for help? Shocking. Wait! I may be able to use this against her in the future, hehehe. Also Natsu and Gray are definitely thinking how much they hate that they have to work with each other. Which brings me so much joy!

"We'll meet at the train station tomorrow morning."

"Neela, Erza, Gray, and Natsu? I never saw this coming. This could be the most powerful team Fairy Tail has ever seen." Mira exclaimed.

**

Natsu's pov

It was morning and I went to go wake Neela up to get ready to go meet Erza.

"Neela, come on time to get up." I tried shaking her, pulling her ears and tail, even tickling her. She gets like this sometimes, no matter what I do she won't wake up until she's fully rested.

Guess I'll dress her myself. She was wearing pjs with sunny side up eggs designs on them. The shorts had them all over and the small shirt at two conveniently placed over each boob. All I could think was thank you for the food, even though I knew I would never be able to.

I pulled off her clothes and was shocked to see she wasn't wearing anything underneath them. Ok ok calm down. Just calm the hell down, you too little me! I just need to relax and try to keep it together. Happy may be sleeping in the other room but he's still here. Just get her clothes and put them on. That's all you gotta do, after that you can go to the bathroom and take care of it.

I grabbed her usual outfit. I lifted her legs to put her panties and shorts on. The position I was in looked like I was fucking her with her legs against my shoulders. I could feel myself getting harder. I couldn't help myself, I feel horrible that I took advantage knowing she won't wake up so I.....I leaned down face to face with her beautiful garden. I just grazed my fingers over it a little, it was so soft and hairless. Ugh it smells so damn sweet. I couldn't resist, so I took one nice long lick. Oh god! That's was the most delicious thing I have ever tasted. Just one more. I took another long lick and kissed it. She moaned in her sleep; that was all I needed to hear to give in. I leaned back down and softly sucked her clit. Her whole body twitched, pushing her wet pussy into my face even more; just begging to be devoured. I started alternating from sucking her clit to licking around her insides. Like her walls were coated in sugar. Her legs were wrapped tightly around my head. Twitching like crazy; her little whimpers fueling me even more. When her breathes became shorter, and her sexy moans mashed with whimpers became more frequent I knew she had to be close. I pushed my face as far in as Heaven would take me, tongue-fucking her. Only pulling back to suck her clit again while I fingered her. I've never tasted something so amazing, never felt something so tight; never been so fucking hard before. As I felt her walls clench she shot out her her glistening juices, and I slurped up any drops I could catch. Her blissful face put me in such a trance I just laid there for a minute. Just admiring her beauty while resting my face on my recent plate. My raging boner was begging me to pull down my pants and finish the job but I couldn't do that. I want her to be awake and want it when I finally give it to her. My mind started to go dark as I imagined all the different positions I keep dreaming to put her in. I quickly put her bottoms on before she woke up or I lost it and went too far. That was close. Shit! I still have to survive the next level...the boobies!I quickly put them on before she woke up or I lost it and went too far. That was close. Shit! I still have to survive the next level...the boobies!

I grabbed her top and pulled her up so she's sitting in my lap. I had to pull her closer so that I could tie the strings behind her back. So close that her soft squeezable boobs were being squished against my shirtless chest. Why!?! Why must I suffer like this!?! Although I love it it's still torture!

I tied them together as quickly as I could and moved her back. Fuck! I forgot I still have to put them in the top. I'm so glad she's not awake cause my boner is rock hard and hitting her thigh. I rested my left hand on her lower back right above her ass to keep her from falling back. Then I grabbed her left boob, which I couldn't help but squeeze just a little, and put in her top. I switched sides and did the same with her other one. I gently laid her back down and took off to take a shower.

Once in there I began aggressively jerking off, remembering every detail of her body and whispering her name. I've never been this hard before. After cumming a few times I washed up, got out, and got dressed.

"Hiya Natsu!"

"Aahh!! Happy? H-how long have you been awake?"

"Oh not long. Just since you started getting Neela dressed." He replied with a smirk.

Oh shit.

"H-Happy, please don't tell her. Please don't say anything. I know it was wrong, I just couldn't help myself. Please don't. Please!" I got so scared and desperate I began to cry.

"Woah woah Natsu relax it's ok. I'm not gonna say anything don't worry. Besides I've known for a long time how you felt about Neela, I still never told her or anyone else so calm down ok?"

"Y-you promise?" I asked wiping my tears.

"Promise." He said giving me a reassuring smile. "But you've gotta be more careful, I know that Mira and master know. You're lucky they took it well. Other people might not. But don't worry, I'm sure that even if Neela ever finds out she won't hate you or anything. She loves you more than anyone, even "he who shall not be named"."

"Yea you're right for once. Thanks Hap."

"What do you mean for once?"

"Come on let's go grab Neela and head out. If we're late Erza will kill us."

"Hey! Don't ignore my question!"

I grabbed my bag and then Neela, carrying her like a baby. Her arms around my neck felt so nice, and obviously the rest of her body against my chest felt even better. Not to mention she smells so good, always like vanilla. We left and headed to Magnolia station.

**

Neela's pov

"Gyaaargh! I hate this! Teaming up with you is the worst idea ever!" Natsu screamed at Gray.

"Yeah tell me about it. Erza made a huge mistake asking a loser like you to come along." Gray spat back.

Ah, the sound of Natsu and Gray fighting, what a great wake up call.

"Boys! If you're gonna fight at least let me get out of the way first."

"Oh sorr-"

"Neeellaaa! Good morning beautiful!" Natsu cut off Gray.

"Morning Natsu!" I gleamed at him.

"And don't worry Gray it's ok, good morning!" I  smiled brightly at him too.

"Morning gorgeous." He pet me, which only made Natsu madder as I walked away and joined Lucy, Plue, and Happy on the bench.

"Back to before. Why don't you just take care of it yourself!?" We don't wanna go anyway."

"Sounds like a plan to me, then I get to watch her beat you senseless!"

"Lets just sit here and pretend we don't know them." Lucy said.

"I second that."

"What made you decided to come with us?" Happy inquired while munching on his fish.

"Mira asked me to tag along. She asked me to keep an eye on you and those two idiots because you guys would be at each other's throats when Erza isn't looking."

"Well are you aren't doing a very good." Happy and I both commented.

"They're hopeless."

"That's a fact. At least I can control myself." Most of the time.

"Oh Neela I almost forgot I never had the chance to ask you. Can you really use Celestial Spirit magic?"

"Yeah, I've been trying to teach myself different types of magic so that I could be stronger. I don't have any keys though, but one time I was fighting someone who had some and I stole one of their keys and tried it out. I was gonna use it to beat them but, it was just a spirit that looked like Plue only in blue. So I knocked them out and gave their key back."

"Wow, if you want you can come over sometime and try summoning my spirits and meet them."

"Oh, ok sure. Thanks."

"All right! How about after we're done with this we have a sleepover? Just us two."

"A sleepover?"

"Yeah haven't you ever had one before?"

"No."

"That's ok neither have I, we get to be each other's first sleepover buddies."

"Ok."

"Yay!" She shouted while hugging me.

Huh, I've never been to a sleepover before. Not that anyone in the guild has ever had one anyways. But why's she so excited? I don't get what the big deal is but she ecstatic about it so whatever.

"Sorry I'm late. Have you been waiting long?" At the sound of Erza's voice the boys stopped arguing and got into the bro hug formation. Yea I just woke up, I'm not up for all this movement, I'm good.

"No not really." Answered Lucy. As soon as we looked at her both our jaws practically dropped. She had an entire giant cart full of luggage.

"Woah! Look at that luggage!" Happy exclaimed.

"All those belong to you??" Lucy asked.

"It's time to go good buddy." Gray and Natsu were putting on their "buddy" act.

"Ai!"

"Listen one Happy is enough."

"Good, I really love to see the two of you getting along. And what's your name? I believe I saw you at the guild the other day."

As soon as Erza turned her back the boys started fighting again.

"I'm Lucy I just joined the guild. Mira asked me to come along so I could learn a thing or two. I hope that's ok with you."

"The more the merrier. I'm Erza. Wait you're the girl I heard about." When she glanced back they were the best of friends again, then went back to glaring when she looked away again. It was really funny. "I was told you defeated a mercenary gorilla using only a pinky finger." Who the hell spread that nonsense?......Oh wait that was me hahaha! Man I'm hilarious. "It'll be great to have a wizard like you on board. Thanks for your help."

"Oh no it's my pleasure." Replied Lucy all shocked a scared. Also funny. I got up and stood between the boys.

"Hey Erza, Natsu and I will come with you but only one condition."

"Shut up!" Gray warned.

"Oh? Well then let's hear it."

"I want a rematch when we get back to Fairy Tail." I challenged while raising my fist. It's time to get over the past and take revenge!! And when I win, I'll humiliate even worse than that! Mwah haha!!

"What's wrong with you? You got some kind of death wish?" Gray exclaimed as he touched my shoulder.

"I'm a lot stronger than I was last time. This time will be way different, cause I'm gonna beat you." I declared.

"Go Neela!" Natsu shouted.

"Yes I can tell you've improved. As to whether or not you can beat me, I suppose we'll have to see. I accept your challenge. As long as you remember that the punishment will be worse than last time." I'll admit, thinking about it scared me a little. But, I can't stay like this forever.

"Oh yea! I'M FIRED UP!!" I screamed, blowing a little fire out of my mouth too.

"Come on, our train has arrived." Erza said.

We all got on the train heading to somewhere I didn't know cause I didn't ask. We sat in a corner where 2 pairs of seats were facing each other. The seats were big enough for 3. On the left side Gray sat by the window, I sat next to him, and then Natsu sat next to me so he could lean on me like always. On the opposite side, Erza sat facing Natsu, Lucy facing me with Plue on her lap, and Happy facing Gray.

"I swear you're totally pathetic Natsu. One minute you're pickin a fight and the next you're like this."

"It's gotta be tough on him getting from place to place. Doesn't he ever get to heavy Neela?"

"Nah I'm used to it. Besides, I don't mind. He does so much for me, but there's never really anything I can do for him. So I'm glad I can at least comfort him when he's like this." I smiled down warmly at him, remember all the times he's protected or comforted me.

"Don't worry he'll be fine." Erza stated.

Gray's pov

"Hey Gray move over a little." Neela demanded. I would've started an argument but she gave me her cute smile so I gave in. I moved and she scooted closer to me. So close I had to move my arm around her shoulders so I wasn't squished. Not that it was a bad thing. She laid Natsu down so that his head was in her lap.

Damn you Natsu. Is it not enough that she clings to you and you probably sleep in the same bed? Now you get her even when you can barely move?!

As I got more and more irritated I calm down when she laid her head on my shoulder. My face felt so hot I thought I might explode.

Neela's pov

I told Gray to move over so that I had room to lay Natsu down and put his head in my lap. To make more room he put his arm around my shoulders and I laid my head on his shoulder cause it was comfy.

"Erza, I think it's about time you started filling us in. I mean what kind of mission are we going on here?" Gray expressed.

"I have reason to believe the dark guild Eisenwald is planning something big. I'm not sure what exactly but it has to do with a magic item called Lullaby."

"Lullaby?" Lucy, Happy, Gray, and I said simultaneously.

"Wait that thing from before?" Lucy questioned.

"I see, so you've run into the Eisenwald guild before?"

"Well I'm not positive they were part of Eisenwald. But they did mention Lullaby."

"Sounds like they were members of the guild who dropped out and went into hiding. Perhaps they wanted no part in whatever's coming."

"So this thing is so bad it even scares dark wizards?"

"I'm only hypothesizing, but whoever you saw drag off Happy's kidnappers that day must've been from Eisenwald. It's obvious that they didn't want their plans getting out."

"Whaddya think they're gonna try?" I asked.

"Let me start from the beginning. Just the other day I was heading home after completing a job, I stopped by a pub in Onibas that I knew was a gathering spot for local wizards."

Erza then proceeded to tell us how there were a group of wizards there who were talking about Lullaby. And how one of them told the rest to tell a man named Erigor that he'd be back with Lullaby in 3 days.

"Lullaby? That's like a song you use on kids to get them to sleep. Natsu used to sing some to me when I was little."

"Yes. And the fact that it had been sealed away means that it must be very powerful magic."

"You sure the guys at the pub were with Eisenwald?" Gray asked.

"Yes. I can't believe I was such a fool that day." I really wanna make a joke at her right now buuut seeing as how I have nowhere to run I guess I'll just hold off on that. "I didn't recognize his name, Erigor. The ace of Eisenwald. He only accepts assassination requests. Which is why he's earned the name Erigor the Reaper."

"He kills for money?" Lucy's voice shook in fear.

"When the council outlawed assassination requests, Eisenwald decided that money was more important than the council's rules. As a result they were kicked out of their wizard league 6 years ago. But that didn't stop them, they've disobeyed orders and remained active to this day." Ooo, creepy. Plus Lucy being scared is really entertaining.

"Ok, I should head home now."

"Lucy's slimey."

"It's sweat." She shot back at Happy.

"How could I have been so careless?! If only I had recognized Erigor's name that day I could've pulverized them! I could've forced them to reveal their scheme to me."

"So if I got this, Eisenwald's planning to do something with Lullaby and you wanna stop them. Because after what you overheard you're sure it's gonna be something bad." I stated.

"That's correct. And I'm not foolish enough to believe I can take on an entire magical guild all by myself. That's why I asked you and Natsu for your help. We're storming the Eisenwald guild."

"Yea! Take em by storm! I'm all in." I shouted.

"Sounds like fun to me."

"Ai!"

"I shouldn't have come along."

"Eww now you're super slimey." Happy teased.

"I told you it's sweat!" Yelled Lucy.

**

At our next stop Lucy left to go get us food. There were sandwiches and she even got me chocolate. Erza got her favorite, strawberry cheesecake.

"I-I love you." I confessed all teary eyed.

"Don't worry about it it's nothing." She's not so bad. Plus this is delicious.

"If you don't mind, what kind of magic do you practice Erza?"

"Not at all. That's a good question."

"Erza's magic is really pretty. She makes her enemies bleed, a lot." I gave Happy a sneaky wink, signifying a job well done at freaking Lucy out.

"I don't know if I'd call that pretty."

"Personally I think Gray's magic is much more beautiful than mine."

"I agree. Yours is definitely the prettiest." I said looking up at him from his shoulder. He had a light blush across his cheeks. "Hey Luce you wanna hear something awesome?"

"Ooo what?"

"When I first joined the guild I was super shy and scared of everyone so I always hid behind Natsu to avoid dealing with people. Until one day a certain boy who always managed to get undressed without noticing and always argued with my brother was missing. I didn't notice he was behind me until he pulled my tail, terrifying me. And it kinda hurt. I was crying into Natsu's chest and he was ready to try and kill him. Then the pervert boy came up to me rubbing the back of his head and apologized. I still clung to Natsu scared of him. But then, he did something unexpected. He made me a rose out of his ice magic and told me that as long as it doesn't melt we will always be friends."

"Awwww that's so cute!"

"I know right, isn't he just the sweetest best friend." I looked back up at Gray and saw his face even redder than before. "Aww are you blushing ice boy? How adorable." I laughed.

"M-moron. Whatever."

"Hey make something else cool, to show Lucy."

"What like this?" He put his hands together and made the Fairy Tail guild mark. It was so cool and pretty. "Like Neela said, I use ice magic."

Gray's pov

"Oh, now I see why you and Natsu don't get along. He's fire, you're ice. Talk about not mixing very well. Though I'm surprised you and Neela do."

"I never thought about that."

"Naahh I just hate his guts." And wanna be in hers.

Neela's pov

"I can tolerate him but there are times when his stupidity raises such high heights that, for the sake of humanity, I must not ignore. I must fight in those times, for the people." I smugly declared raising my fist valiantly.

"You little-" He didn't finish that sentence as Erza glared at us both. I innocently grinned at her and then at him. His eyes said he was gonna get me for it later. Good luck mine said back.

**

Along the way I dozed off. When I woke up, our train had finally arrived at our destination, Onibas Station. Gray was carrying me on his back.

"You think the Eisenwald guys are still gonna be in this town?" He asked Erza.

"I have no idea. That's what we're here to find out."

"I'm still thinkin maybe I should go home." Wuss.

"Hold on, where's Natsu?" I asked.

"Oh no." Exclaimed Lucy.

I jumped off Gray's back and ran back towards the train. But it was too late, it had already taken off. Aw man, not again.

"Uh oh there he goes." Happy waved bye at the train.

"How could you guys just leave him there? There's 4 of you!"

"I was so busy talking I forgot about him. I am such a fool! Natsu hates all forms of transportation! This is all my fault, I need one of you to come hit me for my penance."

"That's a little much."

"Don't mind if I do!" I sucker punched Erza across the cheek, then glared at the remaining three idiots. How dare they just forget about my brother. It's completely unacceptable.......unless it's me then it's totally fine.

Lucy and Gray screamed in terrified shock.

"What are you doing?!?" Lucy cried.

"YOU IDIOT!!" Yelled Gray.

Happy of course, was shouting things like, "Ooo, you're in trouuuble. You are so gonna get it. It was nice knowin ya.". When Erza stood back up, Gray and Lucy jumped back and shook in fear.

"Neela......thank you for hitting me." The amount of shock their faces was completely priceless. "And I'm sorry we left Natsu behind."

"Well don't just stand there, help me go get him. Only then will I forgive you."

"Understood." Erza turned around and started walking away.When she stopped she pulled some lever. But nothing happened. I had no clue what she was thinking till one of the staff came over to her.

"What do you think you're doing lady? You can't pull the emergency lever without permission."

"It's for our comrade, please understand." Huh, I guess maybe she's not a complete demon.

"Are you kidding me??"

"Now, I would like you to take our luggage to the hotel."

"Do I look like a bellhop?"

"I'm starting to think that all the members of Fairy Tail are a little insane." Lucy exasperated. 

"Well not all of us."

"OH YEA THEN WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES!?" Lucy and I both yelled at a half naked ice idiot.

Ugh, I don't have time for this. Natsu is stuck on that train suffering. I walked over to Erza and the worker.

"Hey! I am not in the mood and I'm in a rush. You heard the lady! Get these things to a hotel! NOW!" I shouted baring my teeth.

"Eeep!! Y-yes ma'am right away!" He scurried off and did as he was told. The girls, Happy, Gray, and I all headed out to rent a magic mobile so we could catch up with the train. It's a car that uses the drivers magic as fuel. Erza drove, Lucy and Happy sat inside while me and Gray rode on the roof. We caught up, I could smell Natsu's scent.

"Natsu!" I screamed. He came flying out one of the windows. I tried to catch him but, he slammed into Gray forehead to forehead, sending Gray flying off the car, with Natsu following. Erza stopped and we ran over to check on them.

"Natsu, are you alright?" Erza asked.

"Ai." He replied. Barely.

Once he and Gray were better they basically went straight back to fighting.

"That hurt you idiot!" Gray started.

"Shut up you icy freak! How come you guys left me on the train?!"

I started fake crying. "*Sniffle* I-I'm sorry big bro. I didn't mean to, I fell asleep and when I woke up they had left you. But don't worry I got payback. I'm sorry." He instantly squeezed me really tight and pet my head.

"Don't worry it's ok. I don't blame you so stop crying. Big brother will never blame his cute little sister." He cooed while wiping away my tears. Lucy and Gray just looked heavily annoyed by my acting. When he wasn't looking I stuck my tongue out at them.

"I'm just thankful you weren't badly injured. I apologize Natsu." Erza said before grabbing his head and smushing his head against her armor played chest. Whelp, there goes the rest of his brain.

"It's ok." He replied slightly scared. "Well I'm shaken up pretty bad. I got attacked by a weirdo on the train."

"Are you serious?" Lucy questioned.

"I think it's the dude who dragged away the guys who were gonna eat Happy. Said he was with Eisenwald."

"You fool!" Erza shouted smacking Natsu across the face. "That is exactly who we're basing on this mission why did you let him get away?!"

"What the? This is the first I've heard about it." Natsu innocently said.

"I explained everything on the train! You should listen when people talk to you!"

I moved to stand in front of Natsu, blocking him before she could smack him again.

"Knock it the hell off! Think about it stupid, of course he didn't hear when you were talking about it on the train earlier. He. Was. Unconscious!"

".......Oh....that's right I forgot. My mistake. I apologize again." She bowed. I swear, sometimes it's hard to believe she has more brain cells than Natsu and Gray.

"So he was on the same train we were on. Let's find him." Erza got back in the driving seat and put the bracelet that drains your magic for due back on.

"Well what was this guy like?" Gray asked Natsu.

"He didn't look like somebody from a dark guild. But he did have this strange flute thing, it looked like a skull except it had 3 eyes."

"A 3 eyed skull?" I mumbled to myself. Why does that sound familiar?

"That's creepy." Gray uttered.

"Is there something wrong Neela?" Happy inquired.

"It's just, I've heard about that flute before. Lullaby, the cursed song. It's death magic." I revealed.

"What?" Natsu gasped.

"A cursed song? Like an incantation?" Questioned Gray.

"I'm not sure. I only know a little from weird dreams I've had."

"I've read about them in books before but, there are some deadly spells out there that are forbidden to be used by wizards." Lucy mentioned.

"That's right. There are cursed black magic spells that will kill the person they're used on. And if I'm right, Lullaby is even worse." I added.

"Let's get moving, we shouldn't waste time." Erza pointed out.

Natsu, Lucy, and Happy sat inside while Gray rode on the roof again. I was gonna stay there but I knew Natsu would need me. So I sat on Natsu's lap since there wasn't enough room. We headed full speed after the train. The next station I think is Kunugi station.

As soon as we took off Natsu got sick again and laid his head against my back.

"Hey slow down Erza! You're using up too much of your power driving this thing."

"I have no choice but to press onward. We're running out of time. If Erigor gets his hands on this death magic, trust me, lives will be lost."

While she's right, so is Gray. It's dangerous to be using up magic like this. She could get sick from the rapid loss of magic or she may not have enough when she needs it, putting her in more danger. I may hate her, but at the same time, I kinda don't. I just can't wait till this over so I can go home:'(.

HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

oh btw i came back onto desktop because

it’s happening. my writer’s powers are BACK, bitch. and that original version of Pluviophilia I’ve been batting around in my head?? Sis, I’m on chapter three already!!!

SO THE PLOT:

Sara Romano has been wading through her college days half-asleep, with this winter break by far being the most dead she’s felt yet. When she vomits on Chrysanthemum Locklear at a New Year’s party, however, her life quickly turns from lethargic to chaotic. Thrown into a new world of intrusive theatre geeks, loud music, and freedom, sheltered Sara struggles to understand who she is after a life of abuse, and how she could possibly love someone without self-destructing.

so basically: - brown girl traumatized, only gets by with her nerdy nb bestie - panic attack at a nye party. throws up on hot girl with hippie name. vomit victim to lovers speedrun. - turns out, both brown girls traumatized and also queer and maybe kinda sorta codependent.  - girl goes from depressed solitude to having a social life and a sense of self, but its an adjustment - can two bitches truly going thru it make it work between them?? is it worse to be alone or to drown together?? we will see.

So yea I really just wanted to know if it’s anything of interest. I’m actually enjoying writing it way more than Pluvio (the fanfic it’s built on) tbh, because Sara’s voice and personality are forming as I edit and add new content, and I adore her and Chrys both, and not to be gay on main but FUCK writing a wlw meet cute (or meet ugly?) is fleshing out my sapphic dreams. T_T not to mention, without the convention of pre-existing characters to stick to, I get to have a LOT more fun with dialogue and descriptions. And explore queer characters who get the culture (the culture being terrible puns, AAVE, and abstract gender jokes).

So homies, if ur interest, hit that mf LIKE BUTTON

Mark isn’t really buff looking like jaehyun and Johnny but do one where someone slaps y/n’s ass in front of mark and mark beats his ass

[2;40pm]

genre: fluff

note: i think mark is buff looking but he just rarely show it?? if that makes sense..

“uh— excuse me? what the fuck?” you grab your ass when feeling a hard smack land on your left ass cheek. “keep walking, doll.” the jock and his group laughs thinking it’s funny to call you doll.

you swallow and quickly walk over to Mark. “mark,” he looks up and fixes his glasses. “hey pretty.” he smiles up at you. “hi love, i um.. do you know where johnny is? the jocks are bothering me again.” you point back to the group of jocks that are busy catcalling another girl.

“no, i don’t know where johnny is but, i’ll take care of it.” you blink repeatedly, you stare at him in shock and in blank. “really?” he nods and stands up. “i’ve got this. johnny and jaehyun taught me how to defend you.” mark slips his glasses off and huffs when looking around.

“it’s.. pretty clear. i’ve got this. yes.” mark stretched himself first before he then makes his way to the group.

“which one of you perverts touched my girlfriend?” the group goes silent before laughing.

“look who’s talking! fucking four eyes, where’re your glasses nerd?” the captain steps down from the table and walks up to mark who doesn’t even flinch. “wow, that’s a really funny joke.” the jock pushes mark back which mark just laughs at.

mark swipes his nose with his thumb. “im assuming you’re the punk who touched my girlfriend?” the jock just shrugs with confidence. “why’re you confident about it? assaulting someone isn’t something to be proud of, moron.” the jocks smile drops.

“what’d you call me?” the jock tilts his head. “a moron. unless you’d like to be called a pussy which you are. assaulting someone is so immature.” the jock reaches at mark and pulls mark closer to his chest.

“do you know who you’re messing with? huh? i’m the fucking boss, bitch!” your fists were balled up, you couldn’t stand the names that were being thrown at mark. you marched over and pushed the jock off mark.

“mark, please? let’s go, i don’t want you getting hurt.” it takes while to pull mark away from the group.

the jock and his friends start laughing as you and mark walk away. “yeah, walk away. wimp still needs his little bitch to save him—“ the jock drops to the ground as mark throws a quick punch to him.

“the fuck?!” the jock wipes his mouth and checks for blood. “don’t fucking call her that.” mark raises his arm again which makes the jock flinch.

the jock scoffs, spitting out the spat of blood. “fuck you. fuck your bitch—!” mark kicks the jock which causes more blood to spit out of his mouth.

mark crotches down and says to the jock, “touch my girlfriend again, and i’ll break your fucking hands.” he stands up and gives the jock another kick.

“m—mark!” you pull on marks arm. “im sorry.” mark shakes his head and snaps out of it.

as you drag mark back, he kept repeating apologies. “im sorry.” he breathes out and sits down on the table facing you.

he cups your face and checks for any markings. “oh, im glad you’re okay.” he grins down at you.

you lean into his touch. “im fine.” you sigh.

ooc - while i haven’t been active much, i just wanna put this out there real quick. 

follower count does NOT equal the worth of your blog. 

follower count does NOT mean you have bad writing.

follower count NEVER means that your character is unlikeable / a sue / etc. 

       i feel like, sometimes, it’s very easy for people on this site - especially younger writers - to determine the worth of their blog through how many followers they have. if you put your heart and soul into a muse, only to see that you have a small following and little interaction, it can be heartbreaking.          @ every writer who feels like they need to have large follower founts in order to be considered ‘good’ by the community, you’re good. destroy the idea that worthfulness / quality = follower count.         twenty followers, one follower, a hundred followers, if you put passion into your character, then it is does not matter how many followers you have.

Kinky but Not Really

Summary: In which you make an odd request, and Spencer tries to fulfill it. “I don’t want to disrespect you...”

WC: 1.8k

TW: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fluff, cussing, established relationships (blegh), light use of sexual themes including light degradation, light violence, and the slamming into walls (nothing explicitly sexual or nsfw bc im a wimp), specifically post-prison Reid, ft. Garvez and Rossi

Spencer loves you. He’s never doubted that for a second.

Your laugh as you throw your head back. Your eyes, the way they crinkle when you grin too wide. Even your style, whether you’re in joggers or suits, just does something to him he can't quite explain. Really, he loves you. 

Even if you’re weird.

Spencer knew what he was getting into, okay? He didn’t consider it earlier in your friendship, but as time went on and you two grew more comfortable around each other it became apparent that he wasn’t the only… outlier in the team. By the time you officially got together, he was already used to it.

But somehow you still manage to surprise him.

“You want me to what?” 

“I know it’s a lot to ask,” You wince as Spencer coughs. With his sleeve, he wipes the coffee dribbling down his chin, staring at you as if someone hit you over the head. It has to be the only viable explanation, considering what you’ve just asked him. “But hear me out.”

Spencer sits up and sets his mug on the coffee table. “Wh...what? Why? No-what? When?”

You wring your hands together, shifting your weight foot to foot as he squints at you. “Okay. When: um, some time after you came back from prison? I think? Why, I’m not sure. That’s why I’m asking you.” 

“I don’t know, (Your Name),” Spencer rolls his lips together, anything and everything that could possibly go wrong racing through his mind. 

“Nothing extreme! I don’t expect you to slap me across the face⏤”

“Oh my god⏤”

“Just small things! Start off light,” You think for a moment. “Like shoving me around or smacking me. Calling me names.”

“I hear where you’re coming from, but I don’t want to…” He flushes, his voice hushed like what he's about to say is forbidden, “disrespect you.”

You take his hands in yours with a bright smile, “Hon, I love you, but please. I’m the one asking you to get violent with me.”

“What the-when did you up your demands?”

You continue, “Like, if you think about it, you’d be doing me a favor. Respecting my wishes by ‘disrespecting’ me. So, what do you think?” You watch him carefully, legs tucked under you, a hopeful sparkle in your eyes. He can almost see the dog tail wagging behind you.

How can he say no?

"Alright, if that's what you really want," Spencer sighs, smiling as you break out into a grin. He laughs when you tackle him into the couch, thanking him repeatedly. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll try. But starting tomorrow.”

“That’s fine!” You sit up, smiling down at him. Your lips wiggle as you try to suppress your anticipation. “No pressure, just do what you feel comfortable with and we’ll see from there?”

Spencer bites his lip and nods. “Sure.”

⏤

The men of the BAU are distinct; you can tell just by looking at them.

David Rossi, though the eldest, the senior, is suave and has a level of sophistication that could only come with age. It’s in his blazers, his stride, the warm yet knowing eyes. A reassurance that eases the people around him.

Matt Simmons rocks the young dad vibes, with the smooth-shaven face and simple clothing. Not to mention a smile that makes him good with both children and adults alike.

Then there’s Luke.

“You!”

Luke nearly falls out of his chair as Garcia stomps over, sitting up in attention as the click of her pumps grow nearer. “What? What happened?”

“You! You happened,” Garcia hisses, looming over him while Rossi comes up from behind. 

“Penelope, we don’t know for sure⏤”

“Who else could possibly do this? Matt and you could never. Only this troll could have done this,” She whips back on Luke, her eyes⏤usually bright with mischief⏤burning and accusatory. “Fix it!”

And just to tick her off, because that’s the purpose of their relationship: “No.” 

She sputters, fuming pink as her lipstick. And as Luke revels in the oncoming eruption, sneering at Garcia, Rossi⏤that wise geezer⏤squints at him.

“You don’t know what we’re talking about, do you?”

“... Not a clue.”

Maybe I should've retired. Rossi sighs, “Spencer and (Your Name) have been off today, and we think they’re having a fight.”

“And you think I have something to do with that?” Luke's face pinches in offense.

“You didn't see them today, have you?" 

"No?"

Garcia, shaking off her fury, is more than ready to spill the tea. "Kay, so this morning on the way up, I saw Spencer and (Your Name) waiting for the elevator and Spencer just snatched their coffee. And he didn’t even bother to let them into the elevator first.”

Luke frowns, “I mean, it's a bit ungentlemanly but I don’t think that means they’re fighting.”

(Had she shared the lift, she would have seen how apologetic Spencer was, nearly bursting into tears as he hands you the cup of coffee, throwing you whatever cash he has.)

“And during lunch I caught them down the hall by the break room,” Rossi recounts, wincing at the image, “They were talking in hushed tones, then Spencer shoved passed (Your Name) and stalked off.”

(If he’d check on you, he might have caught the proud gleam in your eyes, grinning wide at Spencer’s attempt at getting rough with you.)

“And you still think I’m involved?” Luke raises an eyebrow at Garcia.

She’s completely unapologetic as she scoffs, “Listen, I don’t know how Spencer can stand being friends with you, but clearly you influenced him in some way because before he met you, he was my sweet summer child. Now…” She withholds a sob, Rossi sympathetically patting her shoulder. “You’ve tainted him!”

“I… I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“Then don’t,” Garcia sniffs, drying away tears. “Just bring our Spencer back!”

“Bring me back from what?”

They jump in unison, turning to find Spencer has returned from his break and is now back at his desk. He eyes them curiously as they fumble for an explanation.

“Hey, Doc,” Luke, deciding to end all this turmoil, asks, “Are you and (Your Name) having uh... lovers quarrel?” 

“A what?”

Garcia shoots him a look, “A ‘lovers quarrel’? Really?”

“Well, I doubt they’re fighting, and honestly a lovers quarrel sounds much less intense than⏤you know⏤fighting.”

“No, we are not fighting. Why would you think⏤oh, you saw...” Spencer’s face falls, melting into embarrassment. 

"Saw? Son, we witnessed," Rossi huffs as he crosses his arms and stares down Spencer. "Would you care to explain?"

"I know what you're thinking, but I swear it's not what it looks like. This is..." After his explanation, his embarrassed flush only deepens at their mortified expressions. 

"I've never wanted to be this close to you."

"My sweet summer child is no longer."

"Guys, chill. I for one am glad Spencer is willing to…” Luke gives him an awkward smile, “keep it interesting. The best relationships take effort, right?”

Spencer hums, nodding, “Exactly. We’re doing great⏤”

“Hey, guys,” You greet as usual.

Without missing a beat, he faces you and snaps, “Damn it, (Your Name), for once stop running your mouth and get me a drink.”

Luke, Garcia, and Rossi freeze, gaze switching between Spencer and you, waiting with bated breath. They haven’t seen Spencer remotely like this, not since prison. And despite knowing that you asked for this, they’re fully prepared to throw themselves in front of him just in case. 

But instead of reacting violently as they expected, you pause, taking his poor attempt at a glare in stride. Then you smile, heading to the coffee machine. “Sure, no problem.”

Spencer turns back to them. “See? B-better than ever...”

“Dude, are you crying?”

⏤

“So you couldn't do it, huh?"

Shoulders drooping from exhaustion, Spencer slumps against your desk and sighs, “No, I’m sorry.”

You shrug, “It’s okay. Thanks for trying though. As a reward, let’s get take-out. My treat." You press a kiss to his cheek, but the smile you shoot him only serves to make his heart sink. “Meet me at the elevator, k? I’ll get my things.”

“Okay...” As Spencer shrugs on his satchel, he can’t help the guilt squirming in his stomach. Why does he feel like he disappointed you? Or more accurately⏤didn’t meet your expectations. Sure, you’ve had your fair share of disputes and as Luke put it, “lovers quarrels”, but never has he felt so… defeated.

Is this what failure feels like? It sucks.

So as the elevator shuts, as it dings with every descended level, as you babble about what you should have for dinner, Spencer makes an executive decision. 

A final stand, if you will.

You turn to Spencer, “So, what do you want for dinner⏤”

You yelp as your back hits the wall, the back of your head cushioned by Spencer’s palm because he’d rather kill himself than hurt you, pressing his body against yours. Warmth envelopes him, and as you meet his gaze, he musters all the dark emotions he can, the side of him he didn’t realize he had until prison. He feels it⏤the fury, the disgust, the merciless violence⏤bubble to the surface, and he can’t deny the satisfaction he gets seeing your eyes wide with shock; the entire day you’ve seen him coming, taking every one of his attempts like a joke in spite of his best efforts.

At least now he feels like he’s got the upper-hand.

Spencer leans in, bumping his nose against yours in an Inuit kiss. It’s a gentle contrast to his next words, and as your breath hitches, he bites back a smirk, pulling back to meet your eyes.

“What I want is for you to shut your mouth and put it to good use.”

Your jaw slackens.

The elevator dings and you both jump, Spencer quickly pulling away from you as the door opens to the parking garage. Luckily, no one else is around and Spencer leads the way as you head for your car. But you’re silent as you walk, and he wonders if he went too far. Was he too rough? Disrespectful?

“Hey, (Your Name), are you⏤” Spencer looks over his shoulder, only to halt at your expression. 

You give him a toothy grin, face flushed and eyes crinkling as you tilt your head at him. “Yes?”

...Ah. If you keep looking at him like that, his heart might burst.

Letting his bag drop at his side, Spencer pulls you into a tight hug, and for a moment you sway together, hearts beating in time, breathing steady.

Spencer sighs, “I don’t get it.”

“It’s okay, I don’t get it either!”

He smiles into your shoulder, chuckling. Yeah, he loves you.

Especially because you’re weird.

⏤

AN: hello took a break from studying and wrote this trash at 2 am whoops

to the user that requested some rough d/s smut with degradation and rough play, im sorry but my asexual ass just could not with this one. but as a kinky asexual i rolled with it✨

pls take the “rough” play and “degradation” lightly. it’s not supposed to be accurate representation. this is just reader and spencer experimenting and having fun!!

i love that yall have the hots for post-prison reid while im over here just wanting to tuck him into bed and kill anyone that brings him harm😳

the big thing i was working on? this small fic thingy is it

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Carving On The Tree

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The enemies didn't appear as much, so the crusaders decided to take a break. Joseph drove Jotaro to the hospital, so they could see how Kakyoin's doing. Polnareff and Avdol, on the other hand, really had nothing to do...Other than playing around with their stands, which soon got boring.

They decided to take a walk, or just relax somewhere quiet. They didn't have the time to speak much before, so this was an opportunity they couldn't miss out on.

Walk..walk..step..step... No spot was peaceful enough. Every here-and-there you'd hear a child crying, or an adult screaming about being robbed. After what seemed to be forever, they found a little hill that was away from town.

"Seems decent enough, this might even be our stop", Polnareff exclaimed. Avdol nodded and they sat down.

[AN: conversations will be like the incorrect quotes]

Polnareff: So... How was the healing when- y'know..

Avdol: Not bad. They were really taking care of me, *he moved his bandana(idk what to call it?) to reveal the scar that was on his forehead* see?

Polnareff: Oh, yeah, it looks way better now.

Avdol: Mhm.

Silence, silence and more silence. It was really.. *too* peaceful now. Until a special someone started acting up.

Polnareff: O-Oi! Chariot, where ya going?

Avdol: I didn't know he could do that.

Polnareff: Neither did I?!

Chariot swiftly started carving something onto the tree.

Avdol: What's he doing?

Polnareff: Arghh.. Probably what Sherry used to do.

Avdol: Seems reasonable.

Chariot continued to carve, struggling with his little sword.

Polnareff: Maybe I should help him?

Avdol: Yes. Should I come with you?

Polnareff: Sure!

They headed towards Chariot, who was *still* having problems.

Polnareff: Okay, show me what you wanna crave and I'll do it for you.

Avdol: Hm.. That's weird.. Look at Magician's Red, he's hiding?

Polnareff: Would ya look at that.. Yeah, it's pretty weird.. H-hey, stop tuggin' on my hair..!! I'll help you carve! I just need to find something sharp.

Chariot quickly grabbed the nearest piece of metal and turned Polnareff around.

Polnareff: You could have found that yourself, but no I have to be here too!

Avdol: Tsk, tsk... You should be kind towards your stand.

Polnareff: R-Right...

Chariot soon finished his carvings, and slowly went towards Magician's Red. The stand friends looked at the carving. And, as you know, a Stand and it's owner share feelings and mental stability. Oh, how sweet that was.

Avdol: Wh-What's with this weird feeling..?

Polnareff: I-I thought you'd know..!!

Oblivious faces redder than Magician's Red himself. Soon enough, the stands tapped their owners shoulder.

Polnareff and Avdol: You better explain th--

"P+A=♥"

Polnareff&Avdol: --is....

Silence, again.

Polnareff: WHAT'S TH-THIS ABOUT, CHARIOT???

Avdol tried holding his laugh in, but it wasn't successful.

Avdol: Hahahah!!

Polnareff: What are you laughing a-about??

Avdol: I-It's just funny how-- haha-- it's like you took over Magician's Red and I took over Chariot! The personalities.

Polnareff: Hey, is it the whole hiding thing?! I'm not *that* big of a wim-- What am I even talking about?! I'm not a wimp at all!!

Avdol: Hehe.. Well, are we gonna leave the carving there or?

Polnareff: ....Yes.

Avdol: O-Oh... Alright then...

And just like that... This wonderful friendship turned into something more. Something special...

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AAA IM REALLY PROUD OF THIS....

The roads are my home

Summary:

Wilbur left the Sleepy Boi's household when he was 16 and when he finally came back, he finds out that a lot has changed including his sister

or,

Wilbur reconnects with Technoblade and finds out that he is transgender.

   Tahlia and Wilbur were twins, they got along fairly well, both of them having fun running around in the backyard of Phil's, their father's, house. They weren't actually twins though, Phil found them both on the streets of a city he once visited and, absolutely horrified by the state they were living in, took them in. They grew up under the protective wing of their father, Will was always more of an adventurer than Tahlia, who liked to stay at home and read books about mythology and wars. Even though Wilbur spent most of his childhood outside, he was way weaker than his sister, who would always beat him in the little play-fights they had. Countless times Phil had to stop their fights in the fear the his daughter would break his son's leg or any other limb for that matter.

   So it wasn't surprising to Phil, when one summer evening, as the family of three sat at their dinner table, Wilbur stated that he wants to leave his home and go explore the world.

   'So you are leaving the family for some adventure, huh?' Tahlia poked her food as she looked up at her brother.

   'Im not permanently leaving, I just want to see the world! There's so much beauty and wonders that neither of us have ever seen!' Wilbur beamed at his sister and father.

   Tahlia just snorted in response.

   'You have a problem with me pursuing my dream, Tahlia?' Wilbur answered with mock offense.

   'Yeah, like you'd survive out there with your lanky arms' She mischievously smiled at her brother, who just huffed out and sank in his chair.

   'Daaaad, Tahlia is being mean to meee' he whined to Phil who was just trying to eat his food in peace.

   Phil sighed.

   'Look, if your dream is to travel the world, I say go for it. You're old enough to take care of yourself so Im not stopping you' Phil looked up from his food as he took a sip of green tea from his tea cup.

   Wilbur just beamed at him and quickly stood up from the table and ran upstairs to his room to pack all of his belongings. Tahlia just looked over at her dad in shock.

   'You're really letting this wimp go exploring the world?' she spoke 'He's gonna die out there within a week, do you really think this is a good idea?'

   Phil took another sip from his tea cup.

   'I think its for the best. Your brother always knew how to get out of any tricky situation, im sure he'll be fine' he softly spoke as he looked at his daughter 'If you want, you can join him, im not stopping you'

   'No, I'd rather stay with you here' she replied.

   Next morning, Tahlia punched her brother in the shoulder and smiled at him for the last time for a long time.

   The house was quieter without the constant tune of Wilbur's guitar present.

------------------------------------------------------------------

   Years passed and with time Tahlia realized that she wasn't Tahlia anymore. He was Technoblade, he was Philza's son and he was a boy. It took a while to get used to the change but now Techno's wardrobe included some hefty binders and every other week Phil would brew Techno a potion, which Tommy (the new member of the family they found in the forest when Techno was 18) would like to call 'man juice', that he would drink to help him feel more like himself.

   It took a while but Techno became more comfortable with himself, he stopped cutting his naturally pink hair, and now it reached his lower back. The 12 year old Tommy like to mess around with it and sometimes Techno would let him braid flowers into his flowy hair.

   On Techno's 22nd birthday, they were all sat around the dinner table. Phil had baked a cake and Tommy was practically vibrating in his chair at the idea of eating something sweet. Technoblade was helping his father set up the table when the three of them heard a knock on the door.

   'I'll get it' Techno sighed and wiped his hands on the apron he was wearing around his waist.

   He opened the door to reveal his brother. His brother, who he hadn't heard from in 6 years, was standing in front of his house, a guitar strapped behind his back. His brother's torn up waist coat was moving in the wind and a maroon red beanie adored his head as he stared at Technoblade.

   '...Tahlia?'  Wilbur hesitantly asked as he studied Techno's face.

   Technoblade stared right back.

   'Its been 6 years, you prick,' Technoblade sighed as he closed the door to his house behind him, 'a lot has changed' he held out his hand 'its Technoblade now' he smiled at his brother, who just chuckled in response.

   'A lot has changed,' he shook the other's hand, 'nice to meet you again, Technoblade'

   They smiled at each other until Wilbur opened his arms and Techno enveloped him in a tight hug.

   'You could've written to us, dumbass' Techno laughed into the shorter boy's shoulder.

   'I never seemed to have the time' the other boy replied.

man.  

you know what , yeah , ive been a major jackass for gd knows what long, i am bossy, i am annoying at times, i tend to take the wheel umprompted , i think I Know SOOOO much even when really im throwing stuff at the wall seeing what sticks best, i hype myself up because i legitimately feel like i need to do it , maybe im overcompensating a lot, i know i can make people feel Bad when i talk to them and criticize them , i think you all got all the right to criticize me when its due, i Should Drop Shit faster when some things turns out to be bad and not just hold the hot coal 6 months after the fact because my head tells me “there may be a chance things do an upturn right? maybe theres some inner company logistics i dont know about” n wait around like a fucking dog, barking but not biting . I Should have bitten. Maybe i should have been a kinder person sometimes , maybe i should have been a meaner person other times . And if i ever made you feel bad over something small, i Am sorry, i mean it, you deserved better.

but when i tell you all you dont know even half of me i really mean it, you guys dont know the fucking shit ive been through the past 5 years dealing with family and unemployment , i know it seems like i fucking got it alll together , that because i draw well enough to gain a measly income every month , im just living la vida loca and building this hugeee ego about my persona online , You dont fucking know me , and if you do? lemme tell you, i got dumped out from a newish group because apparently they couldnt Ever Tell me that i was a bit too bossy when roleplaying for a stupid fucking arg , they just decided to all block me and ghost me , PRETENDING to be all like “no no we wouldnt ever just cut people off like that lol” , i tried acting like i was gonna be fine, but i felt worthless and abandoned for a good ass month or two , like i did something  so awful that it was just better to dump me off like that without any answers or closure , turns out , it was just some petty rp bullshit because how dare i tell someone that their writing can be a bit Much i guess. and you know what ? after i learned that this month, im done being a spineless doormat , i realized just by this stupid drama, i WAS being a doormat to cawthon , i was treating this franchise like it was a real “friend” just because im horribly mentally ill about it and let it overtake me in my late teens, and since it was sooo hard to dump a “friend” i just felt like i JUST couldnt do it full on. thats so fucking dumb isnt it?

listen i have no fucking idea where some of you get the idea that i am some kind of , harasser or some shit like, fine , if you build this idea of me in your head because you think i receive too many compliments (its not like im asking for them , i am not gonna reject Kindness) sure whatever, but i dont waste my fucking time sending anons or calling out random people for nothing, literally i just sit here having to witness vile shit out in the public from people who are legit unapologetic and then putting out a post or two saying “hey what the fuck is wrong with these people please dont expose vulnerable people to the gross shit you put out for sexual gratification”. When do i ever act like im hot shit? i feel like a fucking wimp every day of my life, i feel like im a fragile bitch about everything , like i walk around and feel like i wanna cry but im supposed to suck it alllll up because im a grown ass man now and i need to keep people i care about safe , at all costs, even if most of the time i really wanna say “i wanna kill myself” .  

ive said this before, but i am not gonna lay my guts in the sun for strangers to gawk and look at me , not anymore. this is the LAST time i am laying down my problems like this , if you want to seriously talk to me. do it , do it because i literally dont care about blocking random people , i am not gonna fucking block any of you unless you legitimately want me to or , actively try harassing me or harm me or others . And i have good faith in so many people, you should feel good about yourself for having guts to tell it like it is.

anyways, i wish everyone a happy new year´s eve or just , a happy new year, keep yourselves safe and have a good time 

missing you

— An explosive argument with you has Bakugou wondering just what this relationship means to him —

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pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

warnings: cursing, fluff, angst

word count: 1,299

a/n: this is for @heroheads​ 500 follower event!!! please enjoy!!! to rachel, well, tbh I chose bakugou cuz that was the first character under your face characters on the discord because I was too much of a wimp to try out obero without crying on such a short notice. I hope you still like bakugou and that you enjoy my love!!! congrats, im very proud of you sweetie

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The more that Bakugou sat in the living room alone, the more it irritated him. His legs spread out against the cushion, feet glued to the floor, and his anger shooting through the roof.

There were days where he knew that he was an asshole, that was never up to debate. He was cruel, bigheaded, and very opinionated. There was no doubt that these days were, in fact, a daily thing. It wasn't his fault entirely; he just always needed to have the last word in the effect of his childhood. 

Bakugou was a prodigy, a genius, and above all, a hard worker. He needed to have those last words. 

So when he met you, it was something similar to two universes converging into one. A battle to see which would destroy the other.

Without a doubt, you were someone that Bakugou admired.

Strong-willed, resilient, and knowledgeable.

Sure, in no way were you perfect, but by god were you someone who Bakugou loved.

He had to admit; he wasn't perfect. No matter what he did to try to prove that he was, you saw through it. You saw him for who he was -- good or bad. You accepted it all without a bat of an eye, and you held him to it.

When he was rude to someone who didn't quite deserve it, although most of the time, Bakugou was adamant about believing that they did deserve it, you calmed him down and made him reconsider. When he was ready to solve things with his fists instead of the easier option of solving it with words, you persuaded him to reconsider. You were changing him for good, and while that was something Bakugou strove for himself, he just hated that you were equally stubborn as he was. 

He had blown up earlier this week. A regular conversation that began with simple discussions revolving around your intensifying relationship had horrendously blown up. Bakugou had no idea what had happened, only that you were so confident about everything that spilled from your mouth, your eyes so naive, childlike, and hopeful, that it annoyed the narcissist in him.

Bakugou challenged every thought, trying to debunk this pure fantasy that you had constructed for the both of you. He wasn't proud of his behavior; after all, he was capable of admitting when he was wrong. But these dreams for his first and only romantic relationship just seemed too perfect.

Yes, he was a perfectionist, but he knew better than to believe that the first person to make him feel this way was the only person. So, like any cornered animal, he attacked viciously.

Two universes colliding together with only one winner, one person consuming the other.

It wasn't until your once hopeful eyes had turned stone cold did Bakugou stop. Your lips pressed into a thin line, a visible sign that you were doing everything in your power not to cry. He wishes he could say that he apologized after that, but Bakugou was not one to stop until he had a complete victory.

He stopped with a shaky breath, horrific venomous words pounding heavily in both your ears and tears were pouring from your eyes.  

"Y-You're sleeping on the couch," you uttered, rolling over in your bed and turning off the lights.

It had been two days, two days of eery silence in your shared apartment. 

Bakugou hated it.

You hadn't tried to say anything, and neither had he, and to be honest, he hated not hearing your annoyingly oblivious voice.

Grumbling, Bakugou rose from his feet. 

He walked to your shared room; his fists slammed in his pockets, lips pulled into a snarl.

He hated that he missed you.

He hated that despite the comfortable couch, he only wanted to be lying with you. He hated that he missed the gentle snoring that you claimed was him lying. He hated missing hearing your giggles turning into snorts when you showed him a meme that would garner a loud groan from him. He hated that he wanted your warm body to cling to him when he woke up, silent pleads to stay with you for five more minutes. He hated not hearing your dumb voice tease him for sleeping at nine at night. 

Above all, he hated that you were upset at him.

His hand stretched out to the doorknob, his pride strangling him slightly, but his need for things to be better with his relationship with you outweighed it all. 

His eyes widened when you opened the door with him, your eyes expanding when you nearly ran into his chest.

Both of you stared at each other, emotions running wild in your eyes. 

"I'm sorry--"

"I'm sorry--"

A small smile spread on your face at the interruption, and Bakugou felt his chest tighten with warmth. Fuck, he was so in love with you, wasn't he?

Threading his fingers through his hair, Bakugou stepped closer to you, his hand holding your waist, his forehead pressing against yours. He couldn't look at you, no not yet, but he could feel your big eyes staring at his while he kept his gaze down.

"I'm sorry about earlier," he apologizes. "I said a lot of bullshit, none of which you deserved."

"I kinda did," you defend him, your fingers pressing against the nape of his neck — forty-eight hours of no contact made up at this very moment. "You told me to stop, and I didn't. I may bitch about you being stubborn, but I'm equally stubborn."

A smirk spread across Bakugou's features, a snort like a laugh puffing from his mouth while he nodded, pulling you even closer. "You can't date me without being stubborn."

You nod in agreement, and Bakugou finally looks up at you. Your eyes are closed, absorbing this moment the two of you were having. His fingers feel sweatier than usual when his fingers tighten against your form, his heart in his throat. 

He was nervous.

"How can you talk about the future with me so confidently?" he finally musters the courage to ask, his initial fear long faded since the first night. "We've been dating for less than a fucking year, and we're only twenty, you seem to be a bit too confident in our future."

Your eyes flutter back open, and Bakugou watches the confusion in your eyes. It slowly fades from uncertainty in realization to love.

A chuckle leaves your lips, a sound he had missed.

"I'm not confident, to be honest," you admit, your cheeks flooding with heat. "But when stubborn virgin 'I-don't-care-about-my-romantic-feelings' Bakugou Katsuki -- OW!" Bakugou had pinched your side, and your fingers tugged at his hair in retaliation. "When you admitted your feelings to plain little me, I was... shocked. Maybe I hope that you're the one meant for me because I really hope you are."

Bakugou felt his stomach squeeze at your words, his breathing almost shallow while he felt trapped within your gaze. His mouth pursed before twisting to the side.

"Don't be stupid," he grumbled his grip around you tightening. "You already fucking know that you're the one meant for me."

"Oh yeah?" you snort, eyes full of hope and entertainment when he neared closer to you, your lips entirely too enticing to ignore.

"If I deserve the best, then there's nothing in the world that will be better than you."

Of course, the argument wasn't entirely patched up that night, and it took countless more conversations for Bakugou to finally admit that you were the person he needed most in his future, the person that he would one day sink to a knee to ask for your hand in marriage. Still, until that day came, he was content with the apologetic and hopeful loving kiss his mouth created with yours.